#i swear they are the same person

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

#personal #text #gonna miss these kids lol #theres more i cant remember rn but i swear to god some of them do it just to make me crack up when im the only one in charge #infinite sentences kid and bro what the fuck kid are the same kid #he could not give less of a shit about this job it's so fucking funny

[lowkeyremi]

when your boyfriend atsumu meets your best friend oikawa it does NOT go well.

you would think their personalities are similar so they'd get a long.

but oh how wrong that was. their egos are both huge so it's like two male peacocks fighting for dominance.

"well they're MY best friend. i met them before you even did! also your dye job is horrendous." oikawa would say to tsumu and he's not even phased because everyone always has something to say about his hair.

"I don't wanna to hear anythin' from someone who didn't make it to nationals at all in high school!!" atsumu would bite back because he plays dirty.

"tsumu! why would you say that??" you're behind atsumu not trying to get into the argument but that was such a low blow you just had to say something.

oikawa would just laugh with venom in his tone, "i bet they didn't tell you I was their first kiss, huh?" oikawa's arms are crossed and he's smiling like a villain.

atsumu whips his head around to look at you, "baby is that true??" shit. there's that pout of his.

"well.. yeah but like we were just trying things out back then... uh it was before i even met you tsumu." you respond nervously.

"i'm so sorry ya had to kiss such 'n ugly person, baby." your eyes about pop out of your skull.

"atsumu stop! babe this is just-"

"they didn't seem to think i was too ugly because they leaned in for another kiss afterward and it turned into a hot make out sesh." the memories come flooding back into your brain of the time you had made out with your best friend.

atsumu is seeing red now, "shut yer trap! they're with me and they love my kisses wayyyy more than yers which is why we're dating and yer just the best friend."

rest assured iwaizumi had finally come back from the bathroom and split the two apart.

"quit it you knuckle heads!! you clearly have a type, why'd you have to go for the snotty obnoxious guys??" he asks you with a roll of his eyes. he's also in the middle of them to keep a fight from breaking out not that you think they'd get physical. both are capable of leaving someone mentally damaged.

"i have no clue iwa, but thank you. let's go atsumu, you're not getting out of this one. i'll call you later, toru!" you drag atsumu by his arm and he's muttering nonsense about hating oikawa.

a/n: i based this off of this :3

#i swear they would fight each other #i remember i used to watch those haikyuu text stories and kawa + tsumu were always besties #i think i like it better when they're rivals tho #cuz they're literally the same person just different fonts #anyway... #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #oikawa torū #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa toru x reader

[beananium]

*remembers the best gamefaqs forum question of all time*

#tw divorce #Bean Text #Fire Emblem #Fire Emblem Awakening #FEA #FE13 #inigo fe #inigo fire emblem #this is personally so funny to me because i can safely say my relationship is divorced with this man #“who is inigo” my little meow meow in middle school before i was introduced to kaito vocaloid when i was 13. hes also a shameless flirt #but he has a good heart!! i swear !!!! #also to my followers who don't know anything about fire emblem; you (the avatar in-game) can not divorce inigo #but due to... circumstances he leaves almost anyone he marries anyway (but in most endings in another game he comes back) #its pretty much well known that inigo and laslow are the same person but just in case #(even though its been 8 years since fates released) #fire emblem fates spoilers #fe14 spoilers

[ryllen]

You know I am surprise Sebek that is never jealous to anyone who is close to Yuu. It is a boys school and I can imagine some have crushes on her.

#jk jk it's a total tragedy for sebek if he ever loves the same person as the one malleus loves #i swear malleus just loves the company #or is he #he did give me a little heart throb at the masquerade but that's all just yet #i can't really imagine anyone else likes her #malleus draconia #because partly i really don't plan of shipping her in the first place #sebek was a total surprise development fhsdshdh #this question arose at the time she was being shoved to jack #i can see that jack is totally someone to be jealous at ha ha; he is a total hunk #but i feel like sebek see him as a solid trustable friend than a snatcher who would disrespect him #i did think of a scenario from how sebek is jealous of malleus drinking coffee with silver that goes like... #yuu talking to silver; sebek be like “WHAT WHY ARE U TALKING TO SILVER MORE” #and yuu be like “bcs silver whispers when he talks” #and stubborn as he is sebek be like “I CAN TALK IN WHISPER TOO” #and he sat there and tried so hard to whisper which pretty much end up as at the very least normal talking voice #and Sebek just “GRRR NGRHRHHRH!!!!!! YOU'LL SEE I'LL WHISPER PROPERLY ONE DAY!!!! AND U'LL HANG OOUT WITH ME MORE” #fjsdsdj #but i don't even know what would yuu talk with silver #i didn't even realize before that silver is actually in 2nd class #they look so same age #yuu be like - . - to everyone anyhow #she just keeps the guy act while brushing off the thought whether the others already know she is a girl or not #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #twst mc #twisted wonderland #twst #fanart

[snapscube]

who is this person who keeps harassing me and my partner because they feel guilty that they’re a fan of attack on titan for no reason LMAO

#i swear it’s the same person #i have no proof #but i swear it

[thottybrucewayne]

When I say "I'm rooting for everybody Black," I mean I'm including Black people who are usually overlooked outside and within the community. Black people whose Blackness becomes conditional the second they confront other Black people about bigotry within our community (Transmisogynoir, Transphobia, homophobia, ableism, sanism, etc.) not abusers and coons...

#thotty speaks #thotty rants #its solidarity this and solidarity that until a Black person who has delusions tells you that saying shit like 'delulu' hurts them #Black solidarity until its time to make a joke about famous abuse survivors #Black solidarity until its time to discuss ableist language being taken as aave #Black solidarity until its time to listen to any Black person who lives at an axis of oppression that you don't then its fuck em right? #Then if they criticize you they cease to be Black right? #Its funny cause I never see yall take this same stance of conditional Blackness when it comes to abusers and predators #Yall can say 'they always trying to take down a strong Black brother a leader in the community' and the nigga you pointing has done nothing #but use his power and influence to harm people further marginalized than him and doing it all under the image of a 'Good Christian Brother' #I'm tired of yall I swear to God

[aquanutart]

Nyaha~! Caught in my electroweb! ♡

#pokemon #iono #nanjamo #bellibolt #pokemon sv #aquanutart #iono gives me this vibe of 'i've sold my soul to chasing love and attention from thousands of strangers who will never know me' #but with an edge of self-awareness and i like that #i love hyper over-the-top performer personalities! i think she genuinely enjoys performing in her cutesy persona #and i definitely think it's a huge part of herself that she enjoys expressing but she has another side too #that worries about numbers and holding people's interest and getting the attention and validation she wants #she's an in-universe internet content creator! she's got a gig and she is WORKING it!! #i swear she makes me hear death by glamour #ALSO SHE HAS A FROG!!! i have no choice but to stan #btw you get a bilingual bonus if you can read this (and i get a weeb award for using romaji and katakana in the same picture) #how else though can i convey to english audiences that she uses boku (i love it) #her catchphrase 'your eyeballs are mine' does kinda creep me out though #i find it less creepy in japanese which is just 'your eyeballs (are acted on by) electric net' but that may be because i understand it less #i don't know japanese well enough to guess exactly what it's implying rofl

[sophaeros]

alex twirling miles around ft. him changing the lyrics to random shit again @ union transfer, philadelphia (x)

#tlsp #alex turner #miles kane #milex #eycte era #union transfer #philadelphia pa usa #i wanted to add this to the post that person made first but u can't post videos in an rb 😭😭 sorry op im not swagjacking u i swear #now him saying im in a lighthouse..he was probably just being silly but the potential symbolism . #bands #Also him pointing reminded me of him doing the same thing during the dublin show pensive emoji

[ladymelisande]

My problem with this implication that Crowley is the Selfish One™ for panicking and wanting to run instead of going with Aziraphale to Heaven and Aziraphale being a supposed saint that wants to save humanity (or fix Heaven just for love of Crowley, which is quite reductive and I will to that in a minute) is that it just acts as ir Aziraphale knew that the Second Coming was happening all along (which he didn't) and that once again just ignores that 1) he was pretty excited at the idea of coming back there, 2) that he did imply he misses reporting to Heaven AKA he is struggling to be part of The Company™ - Michael Sheen also mentioned this before the season started - and 3) Aziraphale was spiraling and in denial of the situations happening around him all season.

There are some points I disagree with so much and they are just... Not in the show?

'That Aziraphale didn't know that Heaven tried to kill him.' Yes, he did, he didn't know the whole dialogue word for word, but Crowley says in the first episode that Gabriel tried to cast him into hellfire.

'That Heaven has good angels and that's why Aziraphale was doing the right thing by going.' Okay, I hate this point with passion. Heaven having nice, innocent angels like Muriel doesn't make it less of a cult/totalitarian environment/dystopia/you pick your metaphor. Just because some angels are good doesn't mean the system is not broken. In any case, those angels deserve to get the fuck out too.

Crowley can't let go of his hate of Heaven and that's bad for some reason. This point is so... victim blamy. Why in the hell should Crowley feel anything but hate for Heaven or God by the matter? Huh?!

The point that argues that Aziraphale only wanted to go back to Heaven because of Crowley and to keep him safe deserves a paragraph of his own because I think it's such a 'reduce into shipping' reading. Aziraphale has been struggling with letting go of Heaven, he hasn't been eating, he is playing humans like fiddles during that ball and denying the danger around him, he accepted Gabriel in his home when anyone with some self-preservation would have thrown him out of in the street. All of this, plus his line in Season 1 when he still hesitated about 'his side' not liking him staying with Crowley, all of this is a build up that goes up to the moment where he presents Metatron's offer to Crowley.

Because as much as I ship them and I do think Crowley going was a mayor factor on making him accept, I don't think it's only about Crowley, it's about Aziraphale's inability to let go of his perception of Heaven as the side of goodness.

Crowley going back to Heaven is how Aziraphale thinks he can have his cake and eat it. Crowley is safe from Hell (because he thinks in terms of Hell being more harmful to Crowley than Heaven) and Aziraphale gets to 'fix' Heaven and never, ever confront the fact that Heaven is not the side of good, most importantly, never confront the fact that God is not a force of good.

Aziraphale's acceptance of the offer is not just doing Good and Save Earth™ (because remember he didn't know about the Second Coming when he accepted), it's him regressing (in the psychological term, not in the character term) and not wanting to accept real change, which sort of goes with his character being the sort of slow and frozen previous eras (contrasting with Crowley 'going too fast'). It's the same thing with him just believing Crowley is a good person because he is fundamentally an angel Deep Down™, and not because he developed his own moral compass.

Like, I'm sorry, but I don't think him accepting that offer had anything to do with some super mega selfless impulse to save Earth. He doesn't mention Earth in his whole speech. He goes around how Heaven is 'the side of truth, of light, of good' and he looks at Crowley confused as if he doesn't get why Crowley wouldn't want to go back to The Side of Truth, Light and Good™. I don't see Earth and humans mentioned there. It's not about them and deep down is not even about Crowley.

It's about Aziraphale and Heaven. It's about how he, as much as he loves Crowley, he still wants Heaven, he still wants their praise, he wants to be needed by them and how he can't and (in that moment) doesn't want to accept what they truly are.

This is why he will fail in Season 3. There won't be growth if he suddenly manages to change an unchangeable system. He needs to fail, he needs to have this view of them and God broken or he will never grow out of it.

#go ahead call me a hater now 🙄 #aziraphale #good omens meta #good omens #I swear this relationship therapy speech rubbish applying to fictional characters is just ruining storytelling #fandom always wants to twist situations in 'they are both wrong' #because weirdly they think that if only one of the characters are wrong then that character... Becomes an abuser I guess? #because that's totally how it works I guess! #one person can't be wrong in a relationship ever #it's has to be the two of them exactly in the same level or the relationship is Doomed™ #but even then is not about that is about character progression

[lightishpurple]

I was gripped by the need to make this reference before anyone else could (no one else would) (it's an extremely specific basketball reference) (you would need to have watched Root last season) (points if you know the pattern on his jersey btw)

Jams are created by @andy-jam-blog :]

#starscatter #jamsona #i just. had to #this one's for you kevin #i use the phrase two hand jam constantly. as does my dad #we have shared brainrot over basketball #i doubt theres many blazers fans on here #and even less who know about jams #but i saw my opportunity and pounced #his position being the same as gb3 is intentional btw #i am a gb3 stan first and a person second #i think he'd end up in one of those clear concussion masks constantly #roco vibes lmao #i think he's tall for a jam cause. babsketball #he's a forward he kinda has to be a little tall #he's the jam equivalent of 6'7 i think #holy shit that's gb3's height i swear i didn't plan that i just picked a random number 😭 #i might be obsessed

[iheartjameshetfield]

these spot the difference games are getting harder and harder

#i love him i swear #i just had to #idc how many times it’s been pointed out that they look like each other #that’s literally the same person #he’s sexy now so it’s fine #metallica #james hetfield #james hetfield metallica

[luckthebard]

Some weirdly key and popular people in ttrpg media circles have such a transparent double standard for anything published under CR’s umbrella that it’s jarring and feels insane to me that no one points it out

#I swear some of the same design teams could publish with a different company #and get nothing but fawning praise #if you pay attention you’ll also start to notice certain indie internet entertainment companies #get overly praised for actions CR has also taken which are condemned as ‘bare minimum’ or entirely dismissed #it’s just bonkers to me how blatant it’s becoming and no one acknowledges it #this is a little bit about the crowd intent on telling people excited about Daggerheart to calm down #and that they need to criticize it #2 hours after the launch #but it’s also been simmering in my mind for months #luck’s personal opinions

[errorwarblesrr]

I refuse to believe botw/totk Link is 5'2 and is actually shorter because even at 5'2 it isn't that hard to find people shorter than you

#the legend of zelda #loz #breath of the wild #tears of the kingdom #I swear there is almost no one shorter than him who isnt an old person or a child #aren't hylians also just like...people but with long ears lmao #we've seen them next to humans before theyre around the same height #so idk maybe those hylians are crazy tall idk

[guildwarsgirl]

I swear, if we were to combine both Raphael and Gortash from BG3, we would just wind up getting Ardyn from FFXV.

Am I wrong?

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ffxv #final fantasy xv #ardyn izunia #ardyn lucis caelum #raphael bg3 #enver gortash #they're the same person #i swear im not crazy

[remvamp]

guess who finally read schoolbus graveyard!!

#IM GONNA FUCKIBG SOB. #I AM LOSING IT. #IM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS THIS MORNING #IM GOING CRAZY #NOONE TALK TO ME!!!! #IM INSANE #IM GONNA CRY SO HARD I SWEAR. #I LOVE ASH AND TAYLOR SO FUCKIBG MUCH YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND #IM AUGHEHEUHEH #I AM FEELING SO MUCH EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW STOP RHIS MADNESS #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #sbg (webtoon) #sbg #school bus graveyard

[lilyharvord]

To the illiterate people with 0 reading comprehension that I have seen on tik tok today claiming that Maven deserved Mare, that it was stupid and "unfair" that he didn't get her, and that clearly with his trauma and what his mother did to him he deserved her:

I would just like to issue a sincere Fuck You to you and any future illiterate children you produce.

#red queen #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #it took so so much will power not to ANNIHILATE them #I swear #books like SJM and rebecca Yarrow and others like them are PROMOTING THIS BULLSHIT THINKING #I am going to scream #I literally cannot be apart of the reading community anymore if these are the thoughts people are having #this is utterly ridiculous #tell me you didn't pay attention in middle school english class without telling me #tell me you lack reading comprehension without telling me #tell me you lack basic human brain power without telling me #i'm old and I am angry #this is just ridiculous now #must we cycle though the same stupid rhetoric over and over again? #dear lord #If I hear one more person say he “deserved” her #I'm going to push them in front of a bus