#i swear i have half the first season written but anyways--

[stylesharrys]

special brownies [weedrry]

summary: harry and y/n accidentally eat their roommates special brownies.

warnings: mentions and use of weed (edibles), being high, swearing, kissing, biting, unprotected sex, bit of dirty talk.

word count: 2,396

a/n: i came up with this idea very randomly and i have written it as fast as i possibly could lmao anyway, the whole thing is about accidentally getting stoned, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read! if it doesn't, enjoy <333

//

It’s been a long week and Y/N is feeling it. Between classes and shifts at the cafe, her feet are sore and her mind is tired. She wants nothing more than to cuddle up on the sofa with a good tv show and pass the fuck out.

And tonight is supposed to be her lucky night. Tom has a night shift and Harry has a hot date. No boys, no roommates, no interruptions.

There’s just something about knowing she’s got the flat to herself all night long, and she can lounge about like the lazy girlie her heart yearns to be.

She starts with a long, relaxing her aching body in the hot soapy water until her skin begins to prune. Y/N takes extra time to moisturise her body and brush her hair. Even treats herself to a face mask while she does so.

When she leaves the bathroom, it’s almost 7 p.m. and Tom has already left for work. The apartment is clean, and most importantly, quiet.

She’s a bit too excited in her movement to the sofa, a squeal slipping from her lips. Too caught up in her head, she doesn’t notice Harry leaning against his bedroom door, arms folded across his chest.

It’s not until he clears his throat that Y/N jumps out of her little happy dance with a scream. A smirk sits on his lips, amused by the way she scowls at him.

“What the hell are you doing here! You’re supposed to be out on a date!”

Her tone is accusing, pointer finger jabbing at the air in his direction. She notices his attire; grey shorts and a white hoodie. Y/N’s shoulders slump.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she huffs.

“What? I thought you liked hanging out with me?” Harry follows her to the sofa, sitting on  the opposite end of her.

Y/N crosses her arms furiously. “I do! But I was so excited to have the flat to myself for just one night.”

Harry’s brows are raised suggestively, that sick fucking smirk on his lips again. Y/N lunges a pillow at his face. “Not for those reasons, you perv.”

He barks out a laugh, hugging the pillow close to his chest as he props his feet up and on Y/N’s lap. He watches how her bottom lip pouts out and his face softens.

“Look, if you want me to fuck off out for the evening, I can.” Harry offers.

She scoffs. “That is what you were supposed to be doing.” A moment of silence passes and she sighs. “Sorry, that came out rude. I'm not about to kick you out of your own flat – though I am going to force you to watch the last three episodes of The Rookie with me.”

Harry makes no attempt to hide the groan that follows her words. It’s not that he doesn’t like the show, it’s that he hates the show. He’ll never understand Y/N’s weird obsession with emergency services.

First, it was Criminal Minds, then a month later she binge watched 9-1-1 Lone Star in six days. Now she’s on the newest season of The Rookie and he’s sure she only started season one at the beginning of the month?

“Do we have to?” he grumbles.

Y/N throws another pillow at him. “Yes. You’re the one interrupting my night, you could at least do it quietly… and with snacks.”

Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence and Harry has to bite back a grin. She could never be mad at Harry, she loves him and his company far too much. Tom, on the other hand… yeah, she would definitely be mad if it was him crashing her lazy girl night.

Harry stands from the sofa, wandering through to the kitchen. He grabs two bottles of water in one hand and scans his eyes through the cupboards in search for a suitable snack.

They’ve not been shopping for a few days, so there’s only some dry crackers, a half-eaten bag of cashew nuts (ew, Tom), and granola. Harry contemplates ubering some cookies and milkshakes when his eyes land on a bakery box on top of the microwave.

He squints as he reads the writing on the top of the box.

Tom’s. DO NOT EAT!

Harry flips the lid, six thick slices of dewey chocolate brownies. They’re like fucking slabs… he’s sure Tom won’t mind if he and Y/N share just one between them.

He pops a (massive) slice on a plate and toddles back to the kitchen. The show is paused on the opening scene, Y/N shuffled to get comfortable on the sofa. She raises a brow at the snack in question.

“We’re sharing a brownie?”

Harry huffs as he sits. “S’all we’ve got in the kitchen, and they’re Tom’s. Didn’t wanna take the piss when his little sticky note clearly says DO NOT TOUCH!”

Y/N snorts, breaking the brownie in half and handing Harry the bigger slice. She takes a bite, face screwing slightly.

“These taste a little funny… nutmeg, maybe?”

She turns to Harry who doesn’t say anything and still hasn’t taken the brownie. The look on his face irks her. She huffs, swallowing. “I feel bad that your date cancelled on you.”

His eyebrows almost raise to his hairline. “And what makes you think she was the one to cancel?”

“Was she?” Y/N asks.

Harry takes the brownie with a sigh. “Yeah.”

//

They can’t stop fucking giggling.

The show is long forgotten about, has been for the past thirty minutes. They’re both feeling warm. Harry stripped from his jumper and Y/N changed into some little shorts and one of Harry’s baggy t-shirts.

Neither of them know where this amusement came from, but there is absolutely no calming either of them down. They’re sneakily sharing a second slice of Tom’s brownies; eyes on the door in case for some reason, he comes home an hour after his shift has started.

“They taste so weird, but I can’t stop eating it.”

Harry chokes out a laugh, eyes welling with tears because he just finds Y/N so fucking funny tonight.

She’s a mess too, eyes squinted and shoulders hunched as she laughs uncontrollably. They’re both crossed-legged on the living room floor, knees knocking gently.

The more she chews, the more she begins to recognise that unfamiliar taste… the way it lingers on her tongue. Her laughter slows for a moment, as if realisation is beginning to dawn on her.

She stares at Harry with wide eyes and parted lips, mouth still full.

“Oh, my god.”

“What?”

“They’re fucking weed brownies!”

Harry can’t breathe, struggles to look away from the fear and shock on Y/N’s face. His whole body begins to shake with laughter and Y/N finds herself following.

“Harry, it’s not funny!” she shrieks. “This is so bad, Harry.”

She’s laughing through her words. Even she can’t take herself seriously in this state.

“D’you wanna play Just Dance?”

Harry’s words only make her laugh harder. The remainder of her brownie is thrown at his naked torso. Harry wastes no time to tackle her to the ground, hovering between her legs as he tickles her sides.

He's blowing raspberries on her neck, eliciting loud cackles from her mouth. Y/N tugs at his hair, her legs flailing around his hips when he nips at the skin on her throat.

They don’t say anything. She continues to chuckle, and Harry continues to bite.

Their laughter has fizzled out into breathy giggles. Neither of them are sure when Harry’s bites turned into kisses. When their fingers became intertwined. When her legs closed around his middle.

And neither of them say a fucking thing about it.

Harry’s lips travel up her neck and across her jaw. She finds his mouth feverishly, nothing but tongue and teeth but to the pair of them, it’s the best kiss they’ve ever had.

They’re needy, hot and wanton all of a sudden. Like a switch has been flipped and they’re clinging to one another like lifelines.

Harry holds her hands above her head, fingers tangled. He’s hard, rock hard. Pressing into Y/N’s tiny fucking shorts so much he’s sure he can feel her arousal through both of their clothes.

He ruts against her, testing the waters. The moan he receives sends all blood down south. He’s always known sex to be incredible when you’re high. The thought of him sharing it with her? God, he could bust there and then.

He releases her hands so he can feel up her thighs, skin hot and smooth. Their lips don’t separate, not once. She lets her hands fall into his curls, nails scratching at his scalp and she tugs at the roots.

Harry’s moaning into her mouth, eager and desperate for more. He takes her shorts off quickly and strategically. So quickly that she doesn’t notice until she feels a cool breeze between her thighs.

Y/N’s eyes roll to the back of her head, more than ready for whatever the fuck he wants to do to her.

They haven’t hesitated, not once. Not until Harry's hands are at the waistband of his shorts and he wonders if he should grab a condom or just go down on her. He knows she’s on the pill, just like they both know they’re both clean.

Harry gets tested once a month and Y/N doesn’t sleep around.

She answers his inner turmoil for him and tugs his shorts down the best she can. Harry breaks the kiss for a split second to tug his shorts to his knees. He’s back to kissing her as quickly as he pulled away, tongue against hers. Hot and messy.

Y/N feels his tip twitch against her clit, an airy sigh echoing into Harry’s mouth. He lets his fingers swirl around her wetness, smearing it across her smooth cunt and coating his thick shaft in her arousal.

They’re panting messes, eager, desperate and horny.

When he lines himself at her entrance, she locks her legs around his waist. Harry bumps forward, a shrill cry slipping from between their lips at the sensation of one another.

Harry wants to give her a moment to adjust, but Y/N doesn’t. She wants it hot and hard. She wants the pain. She wants to feel every fucking inch of him.

She probably should’ve warned Harry how she gets when she’s high. How much of a whiny, cock-hungry whore she can become. Then again, how was she supposed to know they’d accidentally eat their roommates special brownies?

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Harry chokes as he bottoms out.

Y/N’s struggling to catch her breath but she’s never loved the burn in her lungs more. “Fuck me, H.”

He twitches inside her. “Fuck me hard.”

His hips begin to roll, cock nuzzling itself deep inside her. He can feel everything. Every bump, dip, swell. God, she’s fucking soaked, leaking down to the floor but neither of them care.

Harry slowly begins to quicken his pace, arms bent at the elbows either side of Y/N’s head to prop himself up. She doesn’t loosen her legs around his hips. She needs him as close as he can possibly get.

Even his cock buried to the brim in her cunt isn’t enough. She needs his soul touching hers.

“You’re so fucking tight.”

“Yeah?” she breathes. “You gonna fuck my tight cunt, baby? Fuck me like you own me.”

He can’t believe his fucking ears. He’s always found Y/N attractive, but never in his wildest fucking dreams did he expect her to be this goddamn filthy.

Harry loves it.

His thrusts grow harsher. She has no time to catch her breath between hits, her mouth in a constant state of slack – eyes rolled back and eyebrows pinched.

“My perfect little cunt.” Harry seethes.

The noises of her pussy are like electric waves in Harry’s ears. He feels them in his soul, like sparks and jolts. He’s never felt more alive.

He’s fucking into her manically. Behind closed eyes all he can see shapes and colours of need and desire. Sex has always been good, always been great high. But this? Fuck, he’s never felt something so otherwordly.

He never wants it to end, wants to spend the rest of his life fucking her like a whore. She’s tugging his hair, likely making his scalp bleed but he loves it. He’d bleed a fucking river just to feel her cunt around him again.

“I’m gonna come!”

Her words awaken something animalistic within Harry. Like his life depends on feeling her release around him – like it’s what he was born to experience.

He chases her high, nipping and suckling on her neck, fucking into her cunt as fast as his restrained hips will allow. Y/N’s a blubbering mess, a sight Harry never wants to forget.

Fuck, he doesn’t think he could if he tried. This will forever be etched into his mind – her face, her body, her perfect cunt. Jesus, he’s never been so into sex in his life.

Her body begins to tremble uncontrollably, legs locked tight around his middle as she cries his name and pours over him.

Harry’s gruff and desperate moans mix with hers. She’s impossibly tighter, squeezing him; begging him to never let her feel anything but full ever again.

Harry wants to die buried in her cunt.

It takes every single fucking ounce of willpower he has to pull out and release across her thighs – painting the filthiest picture anyone could imagine.

It’s a struggle for either of them to catch their breaths. Hot and heavy panting that soon turns into light laughter, that even sooner, turns into contagious giggles.

Their bodies shake with every chuckle, Harry’s mouth ghosting hers until he nips on her bottom lip.

“We are never to talk about this, understood?”

He grins widely. “Whatever you want, Princess.”

She hums, eyes full of lust. Harry’s still achingly hard, despite coming more than he ever has before. He dips his head to her neck, sucking at her soft skin. His cock twitches against her thigh and she breathes deeply, blinks slowly.

“You wanna go again?” his voice is muffled by her neck.

She grins, legs wrapping back around his middle.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #imagine harry styles #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles angst

[amakumos]

kiss and cry — yang jungwon.

synopsis. At the age of 22, Yang Jungwon wants to retire. The ice, which was what he considered his second home, does not seem as welcoming as it used to be. Figure skating is no longer fun - the sport that he devoted his entire childhood to seems more of a chore, rather than a passion. He claims that this season will be his last as a competitive figure skater - that is, until he meets you, who somehow makes him fall in love with the ice (and you) again.

genre. fluff, slight angst, friends to lovers, slowburn (?), figure skating au

pairing. figure skater! jungwon x figure skater fem! reader

warnings. swearing, mentions of injury, coaching abuse and unhealthy training habits, jungwon is 22, reader is 21, and both compete for south korea. set during the 2025/2026 figure skating season. major character retirement (wait and find out)

word count. 22k

author's note. gosh. am i surprised that the most i've ever written is a figure skating fic? no, not particularly. i was watching so many of yuzuru hanyu's programs while writing this and oh god. only fanyus will understand the immense impact the beat drop into the chsq has in pyc seimei. fucking hell that's powerful. anyways, this fic is my baby and i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it ^_^ here's a playlist u can listen to while reading if you'd like and feel free to lmk what u think!

ONE. negative (goe.)

Where is home to Yang Jungwon?

Jungwon thinks that he has two.

First, he would obviously say his apartment. The plush couch, the comfort of his own bed, and sunlight peeking through the curtains in the morning – Jungwon is comfortable when he is home. 

His second home, albeit a little bit unconventional – is the ice skating rink. His blades gliding against the smooth ice, cool air hitting his face as he skates, the chatter of his training partners ringing in his ears when he’s trying to focus that he finds annoying when he’s trying to focus. 

But his second home seems a little less welcoming and comfortable lately. The passion that he once held for the sport that he loved seems to be diminishing day by day, like a fire that’s almost been put out. 

Jungwon devoted his entire life to this sport. Maybe a little too much of it, even. 

His childhood was seemingly swept away by the ice. Instead of running around the playground, making friends with other children his age, Jungwon was spending hours of his day jumping and spinning, wearing boots with blades on them.

At one point, even falling over on a jump that he’d have to repeat for hours seemed like something he could use as determination. I’ll be able to do it the next time I jump it, was his thought. 

But now, when he falls, all he feels is that he wants to quit. 

Jungwon knows that if he gave up that easily when he was younger, he wouldn’t even be half the figure skater he was today. Standing on top of that podium didn’t bring him the same amount of joy as when he stood there a couple years ago. A small smile would grace his lips, showing courtesy – but deep inside, Jungwon could only describe the feeling he felt as numbness. 

Because what did all these medals truly mean to him? Success brought him joy a couple years ago, but now it only puts pressure on him. 

Pressure to do better. Pressure to get the scores that he deserved. Pressure to show the other skaters that he was better. 

Figure skating is no longer fun for Yang Jungwon. 

The sport feels draining – as if every minute spent skating on that sheet of ice sucked all the energy out of him. The movements that he did with such vigour just a couple years ago now seem sloppy to him, even if they aren’t to the audience. His limbs move around robotically, without elegance or gracefulness. 

Yang Jungwon feels like a robot. 

Programmed to do this quad lutz at a certain moment. Programmed to execute the hydroblade to perfection a few seconds later. Even programmed to smile brightly, holding up the gold medal while standing at the top of the podium when he doesn’t feel a single emotion at all. 

So, Jungwon thinks it’s time to hang up his skates. 

Yes, 22 might be a little too early to end his career as a competitive figure skater, but Jungwon is done. He’s tired of the ice, which is something that he never thought he’d say, or even think. The ice doesn’t bring him joy, and competitions don’t bring the adrenaline and thrill that he’d used to feel. Winning doesn’t make him feel pride. Instead, he feels burdened. 

“Next season will be my last season as a competitive figure skater,” he tells his coach, Irene. 

Irene isn’t shocked. But she’s strongly against Jungwon’s decision. Jungwon knew she’d react like this. 

“You’re so young, Jungwon! You still have a couple of years to go – you can make it to the next Olympics too. You’ll be 26 then, and you can… you know, retire after skating at the biggest stage.” 

“I will be skating at the biggest stage next year, if I make it into the Olympic team. Then, I will be retiring at the biggest stage.” Jungwon tells her, lacing up his skates. Even tying the laces feels frustrating – and Jungwon knows that he truly does not want to do this anymore. 

“But you have to give a reason, Jungwon. I know you’re tired, and you lack passion for skating, but why don’t you just take a break? Maybe you’ll regain your motivation, regain your passion for the sport. You’re already one of the greats – you could be even greater.” 

Irene would consider Jungwon to be her star pupil. He’s stuck with her ever since he swapped coaches when he was 8 – and he’s never spoken a word about wanting to be coached by anyone else. In fact, Jungwon was one of Irene’s first students after she herself retired from competition. Jungwon was her first student to podium internationally, first student to land a quad in competition, and first student to make it to the Olympics in 2022, back when Jungwon was 18. 

He placed 6th. Not bad, for his first ever Olympics. 

Jungwon remembers the day when he was called up to the South Korean Olympic team. All he felt was pride. On every young athlete’s bucket list, being able to compete in the Olympics was at the top of that list, and Jungwon was no exception. He remembers being an emotional wreck, crumpling into tears of joy. The Olympics was a figure skater’s biggest stage. Skating on Olympic ice seemed unreal, until Jungwon found out that he would be doing exactly that. 

Jungwon wants to feel the exact feeling he felt when he skated on Olympic ice. He wants to feel pride, passion, and joy – not emptiness. Jungwon knew that he was competing with the best of the best, and a medal at the Olympics would be incredible, but Jungwon just wanted to skate. The Olympics seemed to be like a mark for him – he’s made it. He’s skated at the biggest stage for an athlete, and no matter the result, he would be grateful and happy that he was able to compete on Olympic ice. 

4 years ago, Jungwon just wanted to skate. 

Now, Jungwon wants to leave the ice behind. 

You could be even greater. Irene’s words have no impact on Jungwon. He doesn’t think he has any desire to become greater. If anything, Jungwon just wants to learn how to love this sport again – but he doesn’t think that he’ll be able to. 

“That’s the problem, Irene. I don’t want to be greater anymore. I’m tired of this. I have no passion in what I do – why would I continue doing something that I don’t love?” 

“Jungwon–”

“I don’t think anything can change my mind, Irene. I’m really done,” he sighs. Jungwon gives his coach a small, sad smile. “So… let’s make the next season great, hmm? I’ll go out with a bang.�� 

Irene gives Jungwon a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Okay.” 

“I have music ideas already,” Jungwon says, and Irene nods. “Tell me what you have in mind, and we can go through it with Taemin.”

“I was thinking for the short program, A Walk In The Skies by Joe Hisaishi. From the Howl’s Moving Castle soundtrack, and for the free, World Dreams. Also by Joe Hisaishi. A couple fans from a few years back told me that they’d like to see me skate to those songs, so… I’ve decided I will. They gave me a list of other options, but… I like these two the best.” 

“Okay. I’ll talk with Taemin about them.” Irene says, and Jungwon notices the look on his coach’s face. He knows that she’s not happy with his decision, because Irene’s never really liked people who give up. Jungwon thinks that to her, his decision seems to be as if he’s saying that he’s giving up. 

In one way, he is. But now that Jungwon thinks about it, does he have any other goals in this sport? He’s won Nationals. He’s won Grand Prix Final. He’s won Four Continents. He’s won Worlds. He’s been to the Olympics. The one thing he hasn’t done is win an Olympic medal, and maybe he’ll be able to do it next season. But Jungwon thinks that he’s checked off most of the boxes on his figure skating career goal list, and combined with the fact that he’s simply got no love for the sport left, he thinks hanging up his skates is the best idea. 

He gives Irene an apologetic look, even though he feels like he doesn’t really have to apologise for anything. He then makes his way onto the rink, skating a few laps around to warm up. 

He skates his program from last season as practice, first jumping a quad salchow that he lands cleanly. The sound of the blades scratching the surface of the ice no longer brings him comfort, but Jungwon continues skating around the rink as he enters into a back counter triple axel, landing it cleanly as well. 

Jungwon executes the rest of the elements well, with no falls or underrotations on his jumps. He presses his lips into a thin line when he finishes skating his program, putting his hands on his hips as he sighs. 

“That was good.” Irene said. “Gold medal worthy.” 

“Thanks.” Jungwon replies. He would usually feel nothing but joy when Irene would compliment his skating like that. 

But Jungwon finds that a gold medal is something he does not desire anymore. 

TWO. triple double camel spin axel 

The off-season is great. 

The pressure of competition is gone, and you’re able to rest without intense preparation and training for a couple weeks before you’re back to your usual routine. 

You do decide to head to the rink today though, just so you can get in some skating time with your new coach. 

Irene Bae was your idol growing up. When you saw her skate at the Olympics from the comfort of your own home at the age of 4, you knew that you wanted to be like her. Graceful and elegant, yet powerful and strong on the ice.

Your parents enrolled you in skating classes at the age of 3, and it was like the ice was practically calling your name. Your first coach, Hyuna, had told your parents that you had talent — and encouraged them to let you continue skating. 

And so you did. As the years went by, what your first coach said proved to be true — you did have talent. You won medal after medal, and you were said to be a rising star. 

So when the opportunity arose for you to be coached by none other than your idol, you of course had to take it. 

When she complimented you on your skating, you nearly screamed. Having the person you’ve admired for your whole life telling you that you were doing great gave you a huge confidence boost — and you’d like to think that her words encouraged you and made you do even better than you usually did during your free skate at Worlds.

Being coached by the Irene Bae seemed surreal. She won one silver, one bronze medal at the Olympics, was a 2 time worlds winner and a six-time national champion. She was even known for being an incredible coach, coaching skaters like Yang Jungwon, and Kim Jiwon — who would now be your training mates.

You feel nothing but excitement when you enter the Taereung International Skating Rink, and you hear the sound of blades across ice that brings a smile to your lips. You see Irene, standing rinkside with her arms crossed, and skating on the rink, is Yang Jungwon.

Yang Jungwon’s made quite a name for himself in the last few years. 6th at the 2022 Olympics, a great finish for someone who was only 18 at the time. He also just won Worlds, and was a five-time national champion. 

Yang Jungwon is an incredible skater. His movements on the ice are as fluid and soft as water, but when he jumps, he’s incredibly powerful, like a rocket taking off. You’ve seen many people say that Jungwon’s one of the few ‘complete skaters’ — those who can combine artistry with jumping seem to be extremely rare nowadays. 

He’s one of those skaters that can get you mesmerised the second he steps onto the ice, and when he finishes his program, loud applause resounds throughout the arena, with tons of people throwing cat plushies onto the ice.

Jungwon is incredibly talented. Thinking about the fact that you two are going to be training mates brings a smile to your face — all the conversations you’ve had with Jungwon went quite well. You remember his pleasant voice and his kind smile, the one where his eyes crinkle into crescents and could make anyone swoon. 

You make your way over to Irene, who turns her head and greets you with a kind smile when she sees you. “(Name)!” she beams, wrapping you in a hug. “Nice to see you.” 

“It’s nice to see you too, Irene!” you say, and she smiles at you. “I’m excited to be working with you.” she tells you, and her words just fill you up with joy.

“Thank you so much,” you beam. “I’m excited to be coached by you.” A smile graces Irene’s lips at your words. “Jungwon’s on the ice right now, with Taemin. He’s just learning the last part of his choreography for his short program for next season.” she tells you, and you nod.

“Jiwon’s gone for lunch break, and Eunchae and Jongseob should be somewhere around here… you can go meet with them and say hi later.” 

“Sounds good.” 

“Irene!” Taemin, the choreographer, calls out to her. “Jungwon’s got this. He’ll absolutely kill it.” 

You notice how Irene and Taemin’s smiles seem wider than Jungwon’s when Taemin says that. The smile plastered on Jungwon’s lips barely reaches his eyes. 

“Why don’t you go lace up your skates? You and Jungwon can share the rink.” Irene suggests to you, and you nod. You find a seat, pulling out your skates from your skate bag as you take your regular sports shoes off, slipping into your skating boots. You tie the laces incredibly quickly — after all, you have been doing this for years.

You take off your skate guards, leaving them on the bench as you skate onto the rink, skating laps to warm yourself up as you put your gloves on. 

Somewhere along the way, you find yourself accompanied by Jungwon, who catches up to you. “Hey,” he says. “Heard that Irene’s coaching you now.” 

“Yeah,” you beam. “We’ll be training mates from now on, huh?” you say, and Jungwon nods. “Saw you practicing your short program for next season… you’ve started quite early. Howl’s Moving Castle soundtrack?” 

“Mhm,” Jungwon says. “I like to get started earlier, so I’m more familiar with it when it’s time to compete. Do you have any ideas for the music you might skate to?” 

“Oh, I’ve got no idea. My friend told me to skate to Bolero, though.” you say, and you see Jungwon grimace at your words. You let out a loud laugh that makes Jungwon chuckle. “Bolero? Really?” he asks.

“Riki knows nothing about figure skating, but I think he goes on Twitter to find what music people hate seeing skaters skate to the most… Bolero is definitely one of them, which is probably why he recommended it to me.” you laugh. “Once he even asked me if I could do a ‘triple double camel spin axel’. Like what in the world is that?” 

Your words make Jungwon burst into laughter, and you think it’s one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard.

“A triple double camel spin axel? Your friend might just have invented a new jump.” he quips, and you nod. “Are you ready for the Olympics next year?” he asks you, and you shake your head.

“Who says I’ll make it?” 

“Of course you’ll make it. Your skating’s great.” Jungwon says, and you thank him. “You’ll definitely make it. To next year and the one after. You’ll probably make it to the one in 2034 too.” 

“Hah, that’s funny. But no, I won’t be making it to the 2030 or the 2034 one. It’s probably nice to think about, though.” Jungwon replies. 

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What? Why? I mean... maybe 2034 is a bit of a stretch, but surely the 2030 one.” 

“I’m retiring after this season.” 

Your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at his words. Yang Jungwon was going to retire? At the age of 22? Was he joking? 

You almost can’t believe it.

“What? Why?” 

“I don’t like skating anymore.” he hums, and he says it so casually. “It’s more of a chore now, rather than something I love. I guess I fell out of love with the ice.”

You can somewhat understand how he feels. You had burnout too, but you never got to the point where you wanted to quit. You just wanted to take a break, to refresh your mind and to take care of your health and body. 

But Jungwon sounds like he’s determined to quit. As if nothing will get him to change his mind.

“What would it take for you to fall back in love with it?” you ask.

Jungwon shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t think anything would be able to change my mind at this point. Skating is just so incredibly… draining. I want to enjoy it as much as I used to, but I just don’t think I can continue competing.” 

He sounds like he’s truly given up hope on finding love for the sport again, and it makes your heart ache. Yang Jungwon is undoubtedly one of the best figure skaters you’ve ever seen, and to see him possibly end his career because he just simply ran out of love for the sport saddens you. 

And for some reason, you want to try and get him to fall back in love with the ice again. 

So with a sudden burst of confidence and determination, you decide to ask him: “Are you free any time next week?” 

Jungwon looks at you, puzzled. “Yes?”

“I’m going to try and get you to fall back in love with the ice.”

“(Name), I’ve made up my mind—” 

“That’s fine. I just want you to enjoy skating again. No competition, just having fun. You know, I was in the audience the day you won the Grand Prix final two years ago. You looked so, so, incredibly happy — I want you to feel the same feeling you felt when you were skating on that ice.” 

Jungwon looks at you hesitantly. “You’d do that for me?” 

You nod. “We can get to know each other better too. What do you say?” 

Jungwon pauses for a moment to think. 

“Sure.”

You beam at him. “Cool. I’ll give you my number after practice and we can make arrangements.” 

Jungwon nods, and you two end your conversation there, focusing on training instead. 

As you land a clean triple salchow-triple toeloop on the ice, you add a new goal to your bucket list.

Get Yang Jungwon to fall in love with figure skating again.

THREE. seal skating aid

You meet up with Jungwon two days later at a public skating rink with a bright smile on your face. 

He looks confused when he sees the amount of people who have come to the rink today. “How are we supposed to skate with this many people here?” 

You smile, lacing up your skates. “We can still skate. We just can’t jump.” 

Jungwon looks hesitantly at you. “But skating laps is boring,” he says. “How am I going to fall back in love with skating like this?” 

“Because,” you say. “This was how you first fell in love with it as a kid. You didn’t know how to jump, how to spin, or how to do spirals. Sometimes doing simple things, such as just skating around the rink can be fun. There’s no pressure of needing to execute certain elements properly — look at everyone skating here today. They’re just here to have fun.” 

Jungwon looks at the people skating on the rink. There’s a bunch of couples, holding hands as they enjoy their date. There’s also lots of kids taking classes, learning how to balance on their skates just like he did when he was younger. There’s also two or three people who do seem like they’re good skaters, and Jungwon spots one of them doing a Biellmann spin right in the middle of the rink. 

And you are right. This was what the first rink Jungwon stepped on looked like. The rink he skated on wasn’t as busy as this, but sure enough, there were couples, kids that were learning to skate, and people like the girl doing the Biellmann spin was what made him think that he wanted to be able to do something like that. 

You motion for Jungwon to join you as you step onto the ice, and he does. You two skate around the rink slowly — much slower than Jungwon is used to. He sees a couple of young kids who seemingly recognise you and him, pointing you two out to their friends.

“You’re famous,” he says, chuckling. “You’re more famous, Mr Placed 6th In The Olympics.” you reply, and he shakes his head. 

“It’s still 6th. Not a podium finish.” he says, and you sigh. “6th is crazy good for an 18 year old. Plus, you were competing with the greatest of the greats.” 

“That’s true, I suppose.” Jungwon muses. “I’ll just do better this year. Might as well go out with a bang, hmm?” 

“I guess so.” you say. 

Jungwon looks around him, seeing little kids who are seemingly learning how to skate for the first time struggle with their balance. He discreetly motions for them to put their arms out and bend their knees, to which they do. They seem to balance a lot better, and Jungwon gives them a soft smile.

Those kids remind him of himself when he was first learning how to skate. A helmet perched on his head with his knee and elbow guards on, and rental skates that Jungwon would never even dare to wear now. He ran onto the ice, falling over — then getting back up. Falling over, then getting back up.

When it comes to skating, Jungwon now feels like he’s fallen. And he can’t seem to just muster the strength to get himself back up. 

Perhaps you will be able to get him to ignite the passion that he had for figure skating once again, but there’s a chance that it won’t happen. 

Jungwon realised that it hurts to fall out of love with the very thing you sacrificed your entire life for. His childhood was spent at the rink, doing the one thing he knew best — skating. Now that he realises his passion for the sport has crumbled away, all he can ask himself is: was it worth it?

Jungwon wants to say yes. But he isn't quite sure if he believes that now, considering that the ice no longer feels like home.

“You’re thinking a lot.” you hum, and Jungwon nods. “I was just thinking about… how I started.

You motion for him to go on.

“I used to love skating. I loved it more than anything,” Jungwon says, staring at the ice. He once said that the boots on his feet somehow felt molded to his body, since he wore them so much. But now, these exact boots are uncomfortable — they are suffocating, and Jungwon knows that when he's under the pressure of competition, he’ll want nothing more than to take them off. “But now, I just feel emptiness. And I’m just thinking… what could’ve gone wrong?”

“I don’t think anything went wrong,” you reply. “I think you pushed too hard. Like you said, you devoted your entire life to this sport. Even the brightest of flames burn out. You just have to find the thing that’ll be able to light it back up again.” 

“That’s poetic.” Jungwon says. “Being a poet was my backup career option, if this whole… skating on knife boots thing didn’t work out.” you quip, and Jungwon cracks a smile.

“This conversation got deep,” Jungwon says. “Sorry for bringing the mood down. I know we’re here to have fun.” he says, and you shrug. “It’s alright. Maybe letting out your feelings about it will help too,” you say. 

“Maybe,” Jungwon says. “But I think I’ve been thinking about them too much lately. I need to try and rid myself of these emotions, because I’ll just end up overthinking and I’ll end up spiralling.” 

You nod. “That’s fair.”

You then spot a seal shaped skating aid, and you look at Jungwon with a twinkle in your eye. You skate a little faster to get to it, and you bring it back to where Jungwon’s standing, and you motion for him to sit down.

“What?” Jungwon asks, confused.

“Sit down!” you beam. “I’ll push you around the rink.” 

Jungwon reluctantly sits down, burying his face in his hands out of embarrassment. He feels like he’s 4 years old, with his sister pushing him around the rink. But he also remembers how fun it was, the cool air hitting his face as loud music played from the speakers in the rink. Christmas music, Jungwon remembered it being.

“I’m gonna push you now,” you say, and Jungwon nods. You start skating, and you begin to skate faster — your blades scratch across the surface of the ice as a small smile begins to make its way across Jungwon’s lips.

Jungwon never thought skating laps could be so… fun. It’s like he forgot this feeling — skating with no jumps, no spins, no spirals. Just moving forward. It was so simple.

Simple is fun, Jungwon realises.

Simply skating forwards seems more exciting than the intricate movements he has to make. He doesn’t need to worry about possibly falling on a quad, he doesn’t need to worry about underrotating a jump, or getting an edge call — he can just skate. 

“Wait,” Jungwon suddenly says, and then you stop.

“Let me push you,” he says, getting up. You nod, plopping yourself down onto the seat as Jungwon grips the handle on the skating aid, which is shaped like a seal’s tail.

Jungwon starts skating, pushing the skating aid forward. He skates around the rink, moving faster with each lap he makes, and you put your hands up as if you’re riding a rollercoaster.

“This is fun, isn’t it?” you ask.

Yes, Jungwon thinks. This is quite fun. 

Despite just skating laps in a public skating rink, Jungwon thinks this might be the most fun he’s had on the rink in the last year.

FOUR. one ice show, two realisations

You see Jungwon two days later at the rink. 

He waves at you from the ice, taking a sip from his water bottle. His phone pings with a message, and he picks it up to view the text.

His fingers fly over the screen as he types a response while you lace up your skates. “Who’s texting?” you ask, skating onto the rink.

“Oh, just Yuzu.” 

“You’re talking about two-time Olympic gold medalist Yuzuru Hanyu?” you ask, and Jungwon nods. “Yeah. We’re friends.” he says, placing his phone back onto the bench. 

“What’d he say?” you ask — you don’t mean to be nosy, but Jungwon seems more than comfortable with telling you what the Japanese figure skater had texted him about. “Fantasy on Ice,” Jungwon replies. “The organisers wanted to reach out to me and ask me to join them on the tour, so he probably texted to give me a heads up.” 

“You should definitely do it, Jungwon!” you smile, and Jungwon purses his lips. “I don’t know.” he says, and he seems hesitant to accept Yuzuru’s offer.

You cross your arms. “Remember, it’s not a competition. Ice shows are meant to be fun. It doesn’t matter if the performance isn’t perfect — as long as you're having fun, and the audience is having fun, then that’s all that matters.” 

“Right.” he gulps. “I just haven’t done an ice show in a while.” 

“It’ll be a good experience to have, Jungwon. You can get rid of the pressure to prepare everything for next season and just enjoy skating, and you can go make new friends too.” you say, and Jungwon seems to consider it.

“I only have one gala program prepared.”

“Choreograph a new one.”

“Taemin’s busy.” 

“You don’t have to ask Taemin. Choreograph one yourself.” you suggest, and Jungwon furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t know how to do that.” 

“Jungwon, you’re an artist. You can come up with something.”

“It’ll be bad.” 

“Have some confidence in yourself,” you say, patting his shoulder. “You won’t know if you’re good or bad at it until you try, right?” 

Jungwon gulps again. “Right.” 

“So are you going to take up Hanyu’s offer?” 

Jungwon shrugs. “Maybe.” 

“Make that maybe a yes,” you say. “Really, skating in an ice show might help you enjoy skating again. Trust me. The crowd hypes you up, the skaters are all supportive, and it’s just a really nice environment to be in.”

Jungwon ponders the idea for a moment. Maybe he should really do this ice show. He hasn’t performed in a non-competition capacity in a while, excluding the galas after competitions. Now that he thinks about it, it seems nice to skate without the pressure of competition.

But the little voice in his head tells him that he absolutely needs to work on his programs next season. He wants to go out with a bang — he can’t do that if he’s underprepared.

Then your voice rings in his head. Fuck it, he hears you say.

A few shows can’t possibly hinder his performance that much. And it’s not like he won’t get any practice time in, and he’s already learnt the choreography for both programs… so it shouldn’t be a problem… right? 

Jungwon wants to love skating again. 

Maybe an ice show is the second step out of many in his quest to possibly find his love for skating again.

“Okay.” he says, picking up his phone. He moves his thumb over Yuzuru’s contact, typing an ‘I’d be interested’ before sending it without hesitation. You look pleasantly surprised, a smile on your lips as he places down his phone before looking at you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, the corner of his lips quirking up into a small grin. 

“Nothing,” you say, looking down at your skates. “I’m just happy you’re trying to regain your passion for this sport.”

Jungwon hums. “Yes. I hope I will be able to.” 

“I hope you can too.” you say. “This ice show might help you change your mind.” 

“I just wanted to ask you — why did you offer to help me try and love the ice again?” he asks, and you purse your lips. 

This conversation is not an easy one to have, you think. 

“I guess it’s because I’ve been through something similar,” you start. “There’s a whole backstory to this, so I might as well tell you. I was 13 when I started being coached by Seo Minju.”

When you brought up Seo Minju, Jungwon knew that what you were about to say was not going to be pleasant at all. A couple of friends Jungwon had were also coached by Seo Minju, and had ended up getting multiple injuries — and some even had to retire early. 

“I trained… way too much, to say the least. More than you do now. I was breaking my body and my mind from the inside out, training even though I was — excuse my language — fucking exhausted. There was a point where in the middle of JGP Courchevel, I felt like I’d black out after I did a triple axel.” you say, and pressing your lips together in a thin line as you relive the memories that you’ve always wanted to forget. 

“And I was in so much pain. I don’t know how I still trained with that much pain — I guess it was Seo who tried to make me keep going. Then one day… I just fractured my ankle,” you gulp, as Jungwon looks at you with his eyebrows knitted together, and his eyes seem to be watery. 

“The doctors said my career could have ended. That was the most terrifying thing to hear as a 14 year old kid. I had to rest, heal, and I couldn’t be on the ice for months. I swapped coaches, almost immediately after I got the diagnosis. And when I was told that I could go back onto the ice again, I was fucking terrified. I was scared that one wrong move would end my entire career for good.”

You sigh. “It took me months to heal. I still loved the ice — but my fear of it seemed stronger than my love for it. I had to relearn new techniques, get back my triples… that’s why I disappeared for a whole season. And when I managed to become comfortable with the ice again, I kind of just started thinking in a different perspective. I guess I kind of just want you to maybe think of the sport differently than the way you see it now. Because at the end of the day, when we decided to start, it was because we loved it, right?” 

Jungwon finds that a tear trickles down his cheek after you finish speaking. “Don’t cry,” you say, a frown on your face. “I’m okay now.” 

“I’m so sorry.” he says, and you smile. “It’s okay. I just kind of always have to remember to take more care of this ankle right here,” you say, pointing to your right ankle. “My problem child.” you quip, trying to lighten the mood.

Jungwon’s only gotten to know you better in the past few weeks, but he thinks that you’re the most incredible and most admirable person he’s ever met. And the fact that you would go out of your way to try and help him enjoy skating again — it makes warmth bloom across Jungwon’s chest and fills him with nothing but happiness. 

He thinks he’ll be eternally grateful for you.

“Come here,” he says, arms held out to pull you in a hug. You skate closer to him, and he wraps his arms around you, and you do the same, wrapping your arms around him.. Jungwon’s hugs are comforting, and you feel nothing but warmth despite you both standing in the middle of an ice skating rink.

He smells like fresh linen, you realise.

You also realise that you don’t really want to let go.

FIVE. spiralling 

You receive a message from the Fantasy On Ice organisers a few days later as well, asking if you’d like to join them on tour.

Of course you say yes.

Jungwon seems more cheerful lately. His mood dampens a little bit when he’s on the ice, but it seems barely noticeable to Jiwon and Jongseob — maybe you're just extra attentive when it comes to him.

Jungwon will admit that he is feeling a little bit better. Skating to a program that he knows he doesn’t have to compete with is freeing, fun even. But the little devil on his shoulder keeps pestering him, telling him that he has to focus on next season’s programs.  

Jungwon tells the devil to fuck off.

He heads back to his apartment, the weight on his shoulders slightly less heavy than it was a couple weeks ago. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, he might get to love skating again.

When he opens the door, he’s surprised by his cousin, Wonyoung, who stands in front of the door with balloons in her hands. “Congrats on your Worlds win!” 

She pulls Jungwon in for a hug. “You’re two weeks late, Wonyo.” he jokes, and Wonyoung scoffs. “I texted you, because I was in Paris and I couldn’t come watch you.”

“I know, I know.” Jungwon says, putting his skate bag away before he flops on the couch, Wonyoung sitting next to him. “How’s skating?” she asks.

“Terrible,” Jungwon responds. “Well, not entirely. But 90% terrible.” 

Wonyoung looks surprised. “What? You just won a major competition though.”

“Yeah. I guess. But it’s not exactly fun anymore,” Jungwon sighs, and Wonyoung frowns. “I feel way too much pressure to be perfect. Every day of my life, it’s just training, training, training — I feel like I know nothing outside of figure skating.” 

Jungwon’s phone rings, and he furrows his eyebrows before pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking the caller ID. It’s Jangmi, his older sister.

“Hello?” Jungwon says, putting his sister on speaker mode. 

“Why did we have to find out from Irene that you’re retiring?” Jangmi’s tone does not seem happy, and Wonyoung, who’s sitting beside him, seems shocked. 

Jungwon sits up properly, frowning at his sister’s words. “Because I didn’t think that it was any of your business at the time, and probably because I would’ve told you when I was ready?” he replies. “Why do you sound so angry?” 

“You’re like… 22. You’re way too young to retire.” 

“I don’t think that’s for you to decide, Jangmi.” Jungwon says, sighing. 

“Why are you even retiring anyways? It’s not like you’re injured or anything.” she says, and Jungwon frowns. “I just don’t love the sport anymore, Jangmi. I should be able to retire when I want to, and I think that I want to.” 

“All because you don’t love the sport? You’re throwing away all those years of your training because you don’t love it anymore? You’re just finding an excuse to quit, Jungwon — and you know our family doesn’t like quitters.”

Jangmi’s words make Jungwon fume. He’s furious, and Wonyoung can tell from the way his expression immediately changes from frustration to one of pure anger. 

“You would never understand, Jangmi. I sacrificed my entire childhood for this sport and I wish I fucking knew why I fell out of love with it but I just don’t know why, okay? I wish I could just suddenly start fucking love skating like I did when I was 4, but that’s not possible! I’ve gotten to the point where I simply just cannot continue because I’m not going to spend my days being miserable doing something that I don’t love.” Jungwon’s hands tremble as he holds his phone, tears welling in his eyes and Wonyoung pats his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him — it does not seem to work at all.

“Do your medals and titles really mean nothing to you? Do they not give you motivation to keep going? You’re literally Yang Jungwon, Olympian, 2025 World Champion, and a 5 time national champion!”

“They seem to mean more to you than they do to me.” Jungwon says.

“Jungwon, you can’t give up.”

“But I can.” 

“Jungwon—”

“Jangmi, I’m really not in the mood for this right now. Call me when you can accept my decision.” Jungwon says, before hanging up. He sighs, leaning his head back on the headrest of his couch.

He blinks away the tears in his eyes, and he lets out a loud sigh.

“Are you okay?” Wonyoung asks, even if she knows that her cousin is anything but okay.

“I’ll manage.” Jungwon replies, and Wonyoung gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Jungwon gives her a stiff smile. 

None of them say a word for a while, sitting in silence until Jungwon suddenly speaks up. “I just don’t know how this happened.” 

“What?” Wonyoung asks. 

“How I managed to start disliking the one thing I swore I’d love my whole life. I spent my entire life, I sacrificed my entire life just to get here… and now that I am here, I find that I suddenly hate skating. The passion I used to have seems like it just disappeared into thin air.” 

“What Jangmi said was wrong.” Wonyoung says. “It’s your career. Do whatever you want.” 

“But now that I think about it, do I really want to retire?” Jungwon lets out a sad laugh. “I was telling my friend, (Name), that I wanted to love skating again. Maybe that’s just all I want.” 

Jangmi’s phone call somehow really struck a chord within Jungwon. He knew that his sister only cared about his titles — it’s been like that since they were kids. Saying I’m figure skater Yang Jungwon’s sister somehow gave her an automatic “cool” pass. Then it became national champion Yang Jungwon. Then, Olympian Yang Jungwon.

Figure skating is all Jungwon’s ever known. Saying that he wants to retire seems easy enough when he knows he hates what he does. But when his last competition rolls around, Jungwon knows that leaving the ice might be the most difficult thing he’s had to do, ever.

Jungwon might hate the sport he’s sacrificed his life for, but what he hates more is that he allowed himself to start hating it.

SIX. rental skates

After a few weeks of practising your gala performance and a little bit of your programs for next season, you and Jungwon are headed to Japan for Fantasy On Ice.

Jungwon hasn’t exactly been in the best mood lately. You’ve tried to cheer him up, and it works sometimes, but he still looks exhausted and tired of it whenever he steps on the ice.

You hope the ice show will make him feel better. Sometimes performing to an upbeat and supportive crowd can help cheer people up (at least that’s what it’s like for you.)

You’ve given him supportive comments while you’re watching him rehearse his program for the show, and you manage to get him to crack small smiles while he’s skating — you know he’ll have to take this one step at a time.

You two are seated beside each other on the plane, and Jungwon settles into his seat comfortably, headphones propped on his head over a baseball cap.

“Are you feeling okay?” you ask him, and he shrugs. “I haven’t participated in an ice show for a while. I really don’t know what to expect…. so I’m a bit worried.” he replies.

“Don’t worry. Ice shows are meant to just be for fun,” you say. “Skating is something you should enjoy with the audience.”

Your take is interesting. All his life, Jungwon has just been aiming for the medals — he never thought about how he was feeling while he skated. It was as if his mind was blank, only knowing that he had to do this certain element at this certain time. 

Because getting medals was what would bring him joy, right? 

That was what Jungwon used to think. 

“Mhm.” he replies. 

He doesn’t know why his sister’s words from weeks ago are still stuck in his mind. He goes quiet, lips downturned into a small frown that you notice. 

“How’d you start liking the sport?” you ask Jungwon, noticing his mood to seemingly be less than pleasant. Maybe your question will help him take his mind off whatever’s been bugging him.

“My sister’s birthday party. We all went to the ice rink together. I remember just running onto the ice, and I fell a couple times. There was this one learn to skate class being held during it, and I just saw other kids my age having so much fun. Then, I saw this one girl do a Biellmann, and she did some double jumps too. And I thought — how cool would it be if I could do that?” he says, and he smiles a little when he thinks about those good memories.

“What about you?” he asks, taking a sip from his water bottle as the pilot notifies everyone that they’re about to take off.

“My parents just signed me up for skating lessons. But then I ended up really loving it after my first class.” you reply, and Jungwon nods.

“Now that I think about it, classes were really fun for me when I was a kid.” Jungwon says, and you crack a small smile. “We should do a learn to skate class for jokes,” you say, and Jungwon chuckles. “The coach would definitely ask us what we’re doing there. They’d be so confused.” he replies. 

“Let’s wear rental skates.” 

“Oh, god no.” Jungwon grimaces at the thought. “I swear the blades at the rink haven’t been sharpened for years.” 

“You should try a triple in rental skates,” you joke, and Jungwon makes a face, wincing. “I can already feel the pain from that… I’d most definitely fall and injure myself.” 

“No, you’d be good, Mr 2025 World Champion.” 

“You try it, Ms 2025 Grand Prix Final winner.” 

Jungwon thinks that he feels the most comfortable when he’s around you. It takes him a bit to warm up to people, but you two had formed a close relationship practically the minute you guys became training mates. Talking to you is easy, and fun – he doesn’t think he’s had a good laugh on the rink in years, and Jungwon realises that skating is more fun when you’re around.

Goofing around on the rink, taking practices seriously but also not at the same time is something that seems new to Jungwon, at least in the last few years. So seeing you find joy in practice, which is something he hasn’t been able to do for years, makes him think that maybe he could do that too. 

You encourage him, as well, pulling him into your antics that make Jongseob, Jiwon and Eunchae laugh. Slowly but surely, all your training mates seem to realise that Jungwon’s loosening up – he allows himself to have fun on the rink, and he allows himself to take breaks.

During a conversation between Jongseob, Jiwon and Eunchae, Jiwon had mentioned that she thought that Jungwon would probably fall in love with you. 

“She seems to make him happy,” was what she said. She’s not wrong, too – everyone’s noticed the way Jungwon seems to seem livelier and happier lately. Jongseob remembers the way Jungwon seemed to be constantly stressed, eyebrows almost always knitted together in worry, and never-ending sighs escaping past his lips. 

Jungwon’s love for skating hasn’t fully returned yet, but he thinks that he’s starting to like it a little again. It’s not as draining as it was before, and perhaps it’s because you’ve taught him that above all, skating should be fun. Jungwon allows himself to have fun on the ice for the first time in a couple of years, and when he glides across the ice with not a single ounce of worrying about him needing to prove that he’s the best, all he feels is relief. 

And he would be eternally grateful for you. For teaching him how to have fun on the ice again. To let go of all the pressure that’s been on his shoulders for years, and just to enjoy the sport.

Gold medals and countless titles might have brought him fulfilment years ago. But now, he thinks that simply just skating would bring the same amount of fulfilment, if not maybe even more.

SEVEN. side by side (quad toe)

Ice show practices are fun. 

Everyone’s got a smile on their faces. The first thing Jungwon notices is how warm and welcoming everyone is. The minute he walks into the rink alongside you, he’s welcomed with a hug from Harua, a figure skater from Japan that he remembers having a few nice conversations with during competitions. 

“It’s nice to see you again!” Harua beams. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” Jungwon replies, even though he saw him at Worlds just a few months ago. “I know right?” Harua says. “I’m glad you’re joining us this year, though! I remember the organisers wanted to see if you wanted to join us last year, but Irene told them you were busy.” 

Jungwon brushes his bangs out of his eyes. “Yeah, I was busy during the off-season last year. Preparing for competitions, you know… I thought I’d have a break from that and just join you guys this year.” 

“Mhm,” Harua nods, and he hears his name being called out by someone. “I think I’ve got to run along, but it was nice seeing you! It’ll be lots of fun. Nice seeing you too as well, (Name)! Let’s talk more later.” 

Harua runs off, as you give Jungwon an amused smile. “You guys seem close.” 

“We’re not super close… we’ve just talked to each other a couple times at competitions. He’s a really nice guy, though.” Jungwon says, taking his skates out of his skate bag. He looks at the rink, and there are a few skaters he recognises just warming up. 

“He does seem really nice.” you hum, sitting down next to him as you take your skates out from your bag as well.

“You ready?” he asks, standing up. You quickly finish lacing up your right boot before nodding. “Let’s go,” you say, linking arms with him as you lead him towards the rink.

You do it so casually that Jungwon needs a few seconds to process the action. He doesn’t know why his face starts feeling warm, and he doesn’t want you to let go of his arm.

The funniest thing is, the minute he thinks that, you let go, placing your hands into the pocket of your jacket.

“Hey, let’s do a side by side jump.” you suggest, and Jungwon nods. “Triple?” he asks, and you shake your head. “Nah, let’s do a quad. Quad toe?”

“Sure.” he says, and he starts skating, doing backward crossovers on the ice. “Should I count? How do pairs do this?” you say, as you skate beside him.

“Just count,” he says. 

“Okay, one, two, three.”

And you both take off, spinning four revolutions in the air before landing, completely synchronised. You look at Jungwon with a huge smile on your face, giving him a high five. “Nice.” you say.

“That was good.” Jungwon says, patting you on the shoulder. “New pairs team in the making!” you two hear Jongseob joke, and Jungwon lets out a chuckle. 

You tell Jungwon that you’re going to practise your gala program for a bit, and he nods as he watches you skate off. You glide gracefully across the ice, Jungwon admiring how beautiful your jumps and spins are.

He doesn’t realise that his expression is one of awe until Harua points it out. “You look very enamoured, Jungwon.” he smirks, and Jungwon immediately snaps out of it.

“Huh… what?” he asks, almost as if he’s in a daze. He blinks a couple times, and Harua only chuckles. “Do you like (Name)?

“Of course I like (Name). She’s my friend.” he says, completely clueless to what Harua’s hinting at. “No, no, I mean like… in a romantic way.” 

A romantic way?

It might sound a little crazy, but Jungwon does not think he’s ever had a crush on someone in his 22 years of walking on this planet. Skating was his number one priority — love wasn’t anywhere on his list of priorities. In fact, Jungwon doesn’t even think he’s thought about love at all.

So Jungwon isn’t quite sure how to tell if his feelings for you are romantic or not, because he simply just doesn’t know what having a crush feels like. He knows that you linking arms with him was nice. He knows that he didn’t want you to let go of his arm.

Was that the first sign of a crush?

Jungwon truly didn’t know.

He scratches the nape of his neck awkwardly. “I don't… think so.” he replies, but it comes out sounding more like a question, and Harua only smiles at him, amused.

“Cool. Cool… tell me that next year when you two are dating.” the boy says, and Jungwon raises an eyebrow. “We’re not going to… what?”

“You seem much happier when you’re around her, you know.” Harua says, earnestly. “At Worlds, you didn’t seem very happy. You seemed tense, as if you were always burdened by something.” 

“But now, you seem like you’re feeling better. You’re smiling again.” Harua says, and Jungwon takes a few seconds to process his words. 

“She… she’s trying to get me to like skating again.” Jungwon says, and Harua lets out a knowing ‘ah’. “I guess I have started liking skating more again… because she’s helped me learn to have fun.”

“That’s good. See, your relationship is like a whole Netflix movie plot.” Harua quips.

“I really don’t see the vision you’re trying to paint in my head, Harua.” Jungwon says, and Harua shrugs. “Just think about your feelings when you’re around her. I guess if you feel like… warm, and happy when she’s around, you like her? Or if you think about her a lot. Or if you want to kiss her, I don’t know. You should Google it. Ask Google how to tell if you like someone, or something. You know it has all the answers.” 

Jungwon’s drawn to two parts of what Harua just said. One, the part being that Harua told him to ask Google how to tell if you liked someone, and two, the part where he told Jungwon to think about whether he wanted to kiss you. 

Jungwon’s not going to Google to ask for relationship advice. 

And Jungwon also doesn’t know if he wants to kiss you or not. He doesn’t even know if he likes you romantically, either. All he knows is that you make him happy. Much happier than he used to be.

But when you skate up to him with a bright smile on your face, Jungwon feels his heart beat faster than it was just a few seconds ago. And he knows it’s not because he’s tired from skating, because after all, he has been standing still while talking to Harua.

Maybe he does like you. 

Just a little bit.

EIGHT. let me entertain you

Tonight is the first show of Fantasy on Ice for this year, and you’re bursting with excitement. 

You get dressed into the costume for the opening, and you raise an eyebrow when you see the dress. It’s not… terrible, but it’s not something you’d wear at all.

You leave the dressing room, looking into the mirror as you tilt your head. You walk towards the hair and makeup area, where Jungwon’s getting his hair done.

“Do I look okay?” 

Jungwon thinks his heart skips a beat. 

The costume is... alright, but that’s the case with Fantasy On Ice costumes every year. But, you make it look really, really good. Unconsciously, a smile makes its way to his lips, and you take it as a good sign.

“You look great.” he says, and you smile. 

“Thank you, Won!” 

You just called him a nickname. His smile seemingly gets wider as you scurry off, being called for your own hair and makeup to be done. 

“Do you see what I mean, Jungwon?” Harua says, sitting in the chair beside him. “I really don’t.” Jungwon replies.

“You two are definitely going to fall in love. I’ve got great matchmaking skills.” Harua smirks.

“Who’s falling in love?” Yuzuru asks, overhearing Harua’s words, and Jungwon buries his face in his hands. “Jungwon! And… (Name).” Harua says your voice very quietly, in fear that you might hear him.

“Oh?” Yuzuru says, wiggling his eyebrows. “You guys would be cute together. Did you guys get closer recently?” 

“Mhm,” Jungwon nods. “I don’t think I'm… in love though.”

“You’re married to the ice like Yuzu, huh?” Harua quips. “I said I wanted someone who would benefit my skating or be very supportive of it.” Yuzuru replies.

“Elsa.” 

“Enough.” 

“No, but I just haven’t thought about love, you know?” Jungwon says. “Skating takes up my whole life… I don’t exactly have the time to think about it.”

“Valid.” Yuzuru hums. “But seriously, you two would actually be really cute together. Harua says he hasn’t seen you smile genuinely in years.” 

Jungwon thinks Harua might be exaggerating a little. He would smile at Harua (genuine smiles!) after he finished skating. It was just during the skate, during the Kiss and Cry, and during the podium where Jungwon would do the smile that never quite ended up reaching his eyes. 

“You’re making me sound emo!” 

“You are though?”  Harua replies, laughing. “Wait, no… not anymore.” he nods his head in the direction of where you are, and Jungwon rolls his eyes. 

“I’m not falling in love.” he says, before getting up from his chair. He hears Harua say Whatever you say! teasingly, and Jungwon just shakes his head as he makes his way over to you. 

“Hey,” he says, greeting you as the makeup artist swipes a pretty pink colour on your lips. You look up at him, waving (because you can’t exactly smile right now.) 

“Hi! You’re lucky you’ve got a puffer jacket on. Man, it’s freezing here.” you say when the makeup artist is done, shivering slightly. For someone who’s on the ice almost all the time, your tolerance to the cold isn’t exactly high — but in your defence, they did have the aircon on in the room.

“You can just take mine,” Jungwon says, unzipping it. He drapes it over your shoulders, and the action suddenly makes your cheeks start feeling hot.

You’ve heard about this feeling before, but you don’t think you’ve ever really experienced it. If those movies and books were right, you think you might just have the tiniest crush on Yang Jungwon.

You think that becoming friends with Jungwon might’ve been one of the best decisions of your life. He’s kind — always caring about you even when he’s feeling down in the dumps. He’s funny too, but he doesn’t seem to show it to anyone other than you. And, he is undeniably one of the prettiest people you’ve ever seen.

Him lending you his jacket just makes your heart flutter. 

“Oh, thank you.” you say, and for the first time, you find yourself at a loss for words when you’re talking to Jungwon.

“It’ll keep you warm until before the show starts.” he says, and you nod. “You ready?” you ask, and Jungwon shrugs. 

“I don’t know. I’m a bit scared. I hope I do well.” 

You take his hand, giving him an encouraging squeeze. “I know you’ll do well. And just remember that this is for fun. It’s not a competition. You’re here to have fun, you’re here to let the audience have fun.” 

“Okay.” he says, taking a deep breath. “I’ll make sure to have fun.” 

“Loosen up, Wonie.” you beam at him. “The crowd will love you, I’m sure of it.” 

You see everyone starting to line up in order of their appearance for the opening, and thankfully, you’re behind Jungwon, so you two can continue your conversation.

“I just wanted to ask.” you start, and Jungwon hums, motioning for you to continue. “Do you think you’re starting to love skating again?”

Jungwon is silent for a moment.

“A little bit. Because now I know that skating is meant to be fun, above all.” he says, and you smile.

“Cool.”

“Thank you.” Jungwon grins at you.

“For what?” you ask.

“For helping me with liking skating again. I really thought I wouldn’t be able to find my love for it again. I guess I just thought that if I trained harder and got better results, I’d be happier with my skates… but I was wrong,” he replies. “I needed to learn how to have fun again. I needed to remember why I started loving the sport in the first place.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Won.”

“No, but I do. I know I wouldn’t have done this ice show if you didn’t convince me to. And from what I can tell and the cheers I can hear, I think it’ll be a lot of fun.” he smiles. “So thank you. For pushing me to loosen up. For pushing me to learn to have fun.”

“You’re welcome, then.” you smile. The organiser tells Jungwon that he’ll be up next. “You’ll kill it out there.” you say.

“So will you.”

Jungwon thinks that deciding to join this ice show might be one of the best decisions he’s made. 

NINE. ice days

Jungwon has never felt so happy to perform.

The crowd is loud, lively and cheers him on, applause sounding throughout the arena after he lands a jump. The atmosphere makes Jungwon excited to skate on the next show.

It’s been a while since Jungwon felt excitement towards the ice.

Cheers resound throughout the arena when he finishes his program, and he finds that he doesn’t have to plaster a smile on his face — he already is smiling. A huge, genuine smile. 

He doesn’t see you until the group number at the end, and when he spots you, he skates a little faster in order to catch up with you. “Hey, Won! You did great.” you say when you notice him skating beside you on your left. 

“Thank you,” he says, a smile on his lips. “You did great too.” 

“Was it fun?” you ask, playing with the coloured scarf tied around your neck. You notice that you and Jungwon have the same exact one – they’re both orange and pink (a colour combination that you’re not quite sure you like too much.)

“Yeah. It was really fun.” 

“What’d I tell you?” you say, grinning brightly at him. “There are a lot more shows after this, so you’ll get to experience all this over and over again.” 

“I’m glad you made me do this,” he says, chuckling. “I don’t think I’ve had this much fun on the ice in a long, long time.” 

“That’s good. Do you think my quest to help you love the ice again is working?” you ask.

“I think it is.” 

You take his hand and squeeze it. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

Jungwon doesn’t notice the crowd seems to get louder after seeing your action. He thinks that someone must’ve done a cool trick, like Jongseob doing a backflip. 

“That’s enough, lovebirds!” Harua says, skating up to you two. “We’re about to leave the rink.” 

All the skaters skate to the centre of the rink, and Jungwon does too, with you following him. You all link hands, bowing at the audience before each of you leave the rink, one by one.

As Jungwon’s hand is in yours, you can’t stop thinking about Harua calling you two lovebirds. Obviously, you and Jungwon weren’t together, but now you can’t stop thinking that perhaps there could be a possibility, provided that you managed to figure out all the mixed feelings you had and if he reciprocated.

But strangely, something about Jungwon just makes you feel at home.

There is something so comforting about his presence. You feel at ease with Jungwon — it’s easy to talk to him, it’s easy to crack jokes when he’s around (you realised that you do it more often when he’s around just so you can see him laugh.)

It’s also easy to just sit in silence with Jungwon. Usually you’d feel compelled to fill the awkward silence, but with Jungwon, sometimes words don’t need to be shared. You feel like you’re able to understand him, and he’s able to understand you, despite only growing close during the off-season.

You’d like to think that he’s the closest friend in your circle of skater friends.

When you’re finished getting changed out of the costume and remove your makeup, you try to find Jungwon in the packed room, but to no avail. 

“Who are you looking for?” Kaori asks, and you turn around to face her. “Oh! Jungwon.” you say, and Kaori points in the direction she saw him go in. “He’s just over there, with Harua.” 

“Thanks!” you say, grinning at Kaori before heading in the direction she pointed at. Sure enough, Jungwon’s sitting there, typing away at his phone.

“Won!” you say, and he looks up, a smile immediately on his lips. “(Name)! I was waiting for you.” he says.

Your heart flutters. Harua smirks whilst trying to stifle a giggle. Jungwon shoots a pointed look at the boy.

“Oh?” you ask. “Yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner before heading back to the hotel together.” he says, standing up from his chair.

“Of course!” you reply, nodding. “Cool,” he says, placing his puffer jacket into his bag. “Harua says there’s a good ramen place around here.” 

“Yeah. It’s really good. I would go with you guys but then I’d be third-wheeling.” Harua says, still seated in his chair. Your cheeks flush pink at his words, whilst Jungwon furrows his eyebrows. “Why would you be third-wheeling?” 

“Oh. Just because,” Harua says, a smirk on his lips. “You guys should run along now. They close pretty soon,” he checks the time on his phone.

“Well! We should hurry then… see you tomorrow, Harua.” you say, and Jungwon waves at the skater. “Bye!” 

Have fun on your date, Harua mouths at Jungwon. Jungwon rolls his eyes in response. 

“The crowd were cheering really loud for you tonight,” you tell Jungwon. “Oh, really?” he asks — he thought they were just as loud with everybody else. 

“There were less people in the audience during the last ice show I did, but yeah. They were really loud — they seemed to really enjoy your performance.”

A small, proud smile makes its way to Jungwon’s lips. “I’m glad they enjoyed it. They seemed to like your performance too. I know I did.”

Goddamn Yang Jungwon. His words were making your heart beat as fast as it was when you were competing on the ice. 

Your cheeks feel hot, and you fan your face with your hand to try and stop them from getting warmer. Jungwon seems to notice your actions. “It’s hot, isn’t it?” he asks.

“What?”

“The weather.” he says, pulling out his phone. “It’s 32 degrees right now.” 

Thank god Jungwon is dense when it comes to any aspect of romance. You understand why though, because when he was younger, he was fully devoted to the ice. You don’t think he even gave any attention to the people who were chasing after him and yearning for his affection — because it was like his heart belonged to the ice.

“Oh. Yeah, it is.” you say. You think you dodged a bullet there. You and Jungwon arrive at the ramen shop soon after, and Harua is right — the food is absolutely delicious. 

Speaking of Harua, the ramen reminds you of him mentioning that if he came with you and Jungwon, he’d be third-wheeling. 

Somehow you feel… giddy at the thought of that. Not Harua third-wheeling, but the idea of you and Jungwon on a date. 

Wait, was this dinner a date? 

No. You shake your head to get rid of the thought. Jungwon only sees you as a friend. 

But the idea of you two possibly being something more seems to now be engraved in the back of your mind, and while eating ramen in 32 degree weather with Yang Jungwon in the streets of Makuhari, you realise:

You like Jungwon.

TEN. 4Lz (ur, fall)

Jungwon finds that Fantasy on Ice ends faster than he thinks. It was nearly two months of touring — time really does fly when you’re having fun.

He thinks he’s starting to enjoy skating again. He’s found a new appreciation for his craft — and with the knowledge that his skating is able to make so many people happy, he thinks that he should be able to make himself happy with his own skating. 

He returns to the Taereung skating rink with a bright smile, and Irene notices the change in his demeanour the second he walks in the door. 

“Welcome back, Jungwon.” she says, and Jungwon smiles. “Hi, Irene. Thanks.” he replies, placing his skate bag on the floor before taking his skates out. He takes off his usual training shoes, putting on the skating boots that've been with him every day for the last 3 years.

“How was FAOI?” Irene asks. “Good. It was fun.” Jungwon says, finishing lacing up his skates. 

“That’s good. Are you ready to practise for next season properly now?” she asks, and Jungwon nods. “Yeah.” he says, skating onto the rink. 

“You remember the choreographies, right?” she asks, and Jungwon nods. He thinks he remembers them, but now that she asks, he’s not too sure if he remembers them completely. 

“We’ll do the short program first.” Irene says, pressing play on her phone as the music plays through the speakers. 

Jungwon glides on the ice elegantly, his movements as fluid and soft as water. He spins and turns on the ice, doing backward crossovers as he prepares for the first jump — a quad lutz. 

He’s usually confident in this jump. He takes off, spinning in the air — but as he’s about to make his landing, he falls. Irene makes a noise just as Jungwon gets up, and he presses his lips together in a thin line. It’s fine. Jungwon thinks.

The next jump is a quad toeloop-triple toeloop combination, and Jungwon thinks he’ll do fine, and he lands the quad well, but he feels the landing on the triple is a little shaky.

Doubt fills his mind. Did he get worse somehow while doing the ice shows? Sure, he didn’t do as many quads when he was in Japan, but he thought he’d be okay. Or maybe he’s just having a bad day. He’s done three jumps. Two of them he wouldn’t consider done well.

Flying camel spin. Jungwon’s spins are always done well, and Irene nods in approval — but every thought in Jungwon’s mind is telling him that he shouldn’t have done that ice show. He slacked off, and now he’s not doing as great as he was before.

Final jump for his short program, a triple axel. He lands it cleanly, but he feels little satisfaction for it. Dread is what Jungwon feels. He shouldn’t have gone. He should’ve listened to the devil on his shoulder telling him to stay — he needs to train. He needs to practise.

Spin combination. Jungwon does them well as usual. Then the step sequence, which as he’s skating, he hears Irene make a small hum in satisfaction. But Jungwon does not feel any satisfaction from his performance at all.

The last element of his program, a sit spin, is completed perfectly. 

Jungwon is surprised he remembers the entire choreography when he’s in his finishing pose. He sighs, skating around the rink with a frown on his face.

“You didn’t have enough height on your quad lutz.” Irene says, and Jungwon nods. “I know.” 

“Train that for a bit.” 

Jungwon listens.

And he falls more than he usually does. 

The more he falls, the more his brain tells him that he should have stayed. He notices you entering the rink, and that lifts his mood slightly — but as he attempts another quad lutz, and falls, he’s just completely tired.

He motions to Irene that he’s going to have a break. He leaves the rink, putting his skate guards on as he heads towards an empty bench, burying his face in his hands.

You immediately notice the dejected look on Jungwon’s face, and you hurry over to him to ask him if he’s okay. 

“What’s wrong, Won?” you ask, sitting down next to him. “Nothing. I’m frustrated.” he replies with a sigh.

“You can talk to me.” 

“I spent too much time having fun. And now I think I forgot the choreo to my free skate, and I can’t land my quad lutz — usually, I’d be way ahead in terms of preparation. And I’m just scared that I won’t do well next season.” he says, his voice shaky, and you frown.

“I’m not blaming you for saying I should’ve gone to the ice shows, by the way. I enjoyed the ice show. But now I feel underprepared.” 

“It’s okay. But Jungwon, Grand Prix is like in… September. It’s July.” you say, in an attempt to reassure him.

“I know. I know. I’m just… worried.” 

“You have plenty, plenty of time. And hey, maybe it’s just a bad skate day. I get those sometimes.” you say in a soft voice, placing your hand on his shoulder, and Jungwon thinks your words make him feel a little better. “Doing not as well on one day doesn’t mean you’re terrible now, Jungwon. You have lots of time, and you’ll only get better. Don’t stress, okay?”

“Okay.” he says, sighing. 

“You’ll do great. I know it.” 

Your words are able to comfort him. Jungwon is thankful for that. But he feels this blooming feeling in his chest that he doesn’t really think he’s ever felt before. The words Harua said a month ago pops back into his mind. You two are definitely going to fall in love.

Love may be a bit of a stretch for now. But Jungwon thinks he certainly does like you. He feels warm and happy around you. He thinks about you a lot. And the possibility of being something more than friends has started to linger in the back of his mind.

“Thank you. You will too.” Jungwon says. You give his hand a tight squeeze as encouragement, telling him ‘fighting!’ — which makes him crack a small smile.

Shit, maybe Harua is right. Jungwon thinks. He heads back onto the rink, deciding that he should try the quad lutz again. Maybe it’s just a bad day. 

And as he lands one that he thinks is the cleanest one he’s ever done, he decides that perhaps taking Harua’s advice to ask Google how to tell if he likes someone isn’t the worst idea. 

ELEVEN. octuple flip

Grand Prix assignments roll out two weeks after you and Jungwon’s return to the Taereung rink. 

You’re assigned to Grand Prix de France and NHK Trophy, and Jungwon’s assigned to Skate Canada and like you, the NHK Trophy. 

You’re glad you’ll at least be able to see him at a Grand Prix competition. You tell him that when he’s at Skate Canada, you’ll be watching him skate from the comfort of your home. He tells you that he’ll be doing the same when you’re at Grand Prix de France.

You and Jungwon get even closer during training for the Grand Prix competitions. Like you had said, that day when he fell on the quad lutz multiple times was just a bad day. You’ve seen him do both his short program and free program cleanly multiple times now. 

Jungwon thinks he must’ve been having fun during training, because Skate Canada rolls around faster than he thinks. But of course with you around at training, it’ll always be fun. 

He did not end up asking Google for relationship advice. He instead asked Wonyoung, who had asked him to text her about you and just simply describe you and how you made him feel. He had originally texted  ‘nice to me.’, but then Wonyoung told him that he had to elaborate.

Needless to say, after his long paragraph about you that he sent to Wonyoung (she skimmed over it, the first two lines of the text were all she needed to know), she had established that Jungwon liked you. 

And with that thought in his mind, Jungwon does realise he has started to act differently around you more recently. He’s more attentive to you, he’s always by your side when you’re around, and he finds himself sometimes wanting to just hold your hand.

As you send him off to the airport, a bright smile on your lips and a cat plushie in your hand that you give to him, a pink blush tints his cheeks, even if he doesn’t know it. And if he did, he’d blame it on how hot the coffee in his hand is. 

Unbeknownst to Jungwon, your cheeks are heating up too when you see the look on his face after you give him the stuffed animal. 

There’s just something about Jungwon that makes your heart do flips. Triple flips, quadruple flips — even quintuple flips.

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest. You think it just did 8 rotations. Not humanly possible.

But, your heart just does an octuple flip. 

You text him every day too, when he’s in Canada. He responds almost immediately (if he’s awake, because of the damned time zones), and he sometimes even sends you pictures of himself on the ice too. There’s one where he’s holding up the cat plushie you gave him, a smile on his lips. You find that there are butterflies in your stomach after you see the message.

Time zones are horrible, but you set an alarm so you can remember to open up your laptop and watch him skate. 

You send him a goodluck message, that he doesn’t read immediately because he must have his phone in his bag, since he’s about to skate soon. 

And when the commentator announces Jungwon’s name, you see him skate out onto the rink. You murmur You got this! but obviously, you know he can’t hear you.

“Now, obviously Yang Jungwon is one of the most anticipated skaters at this Grand Prix competition. He delivered a sublime skate at Worlds last season, securing him the title as world champion.” you hear the commentator say, as Jungwon skates around the rink before getting into his starting position. “Yang Jungwon with the music: A Walk In The Skies.” 

The music starts, and Jungwon moves across the ice in a way you’re most familiar with now. You’ve seen him do this program hundreds, maybe thousands of times — but at a competition, Jungwon’s got his A-game on. His movements are delicate, elegant and beautiful. 

“First comes the quad lutz.” the commentator says, and you watch your screen intently as Jungwon takes off, spinning four revolutions in the air before landing cleanly. “Yes!” you say, pumping your fist. 

“Absolutely stunning.” 

You agree with the commentator wholeheartedly.

“The quad toe-triple toe.” Jungwon lands the quad toe the second the commentator says that, and takes off into the triple toe — another clean jump. 

You smile. He’s doing great, you think, as he does a flying camel spin. He looks happy as he skates as well. He seems to be enjoying the sport more and more each day.

Jungwon skates his entire program cleanly, with all green boxes on the left hand corner of your screen. His technical score is the highest among all the skaters, and he was the last to skate — you think that he’ll definitely place first in the short program.

“Yang Jungwon at his best, everyone.” the commentator says. “Yang did absolutely wonderful tonight, and I’m sure it will reflect on the scores.”

He bows, a genuine smile on his lips — one that he hasn’t shown in a long time at competitions as the cat plushies fall from the bleachers and onto the ice. He picks up as many as he can before leaving the rink while the flower kids pick up the rest, as the camera pans to him giving Irene a fist bump.

You think he’ll break 100. There’s no way he won’t. 

As he sits in the Kiss and Cry nervously waiting for his scores, you sit at home on your couch, just as nervous as he is. The camera faces towards him, and Jungwon smiles at it, holding up one of the cat plushies he had received and mouthing a thank you. 

“The scores, please.” 

“The short program score for Yang Jungwon of South Korea is 111.45, his season’s best and currently puts him in first place.” 

The crowd erupts into cheers, and you push your laptop off your lap and onto the couch, jumping up in excitement. 

You watch as Jungwon pumps his fist up into the air before hugging Irene with pure joy on his face. 

Jungwon doesn’t think he’s been this happy to place first in a long, long time. He had fun skating today. He also skated well today. And he’s currently in first. 

Having fun and winning can coexist. Jungwon finds that out today as he bows once more before leaving the Kiss and Cry.

Jungwon thinks that he’s just a few steps away from loving skating again. 

TWELVE. you, me (?) and the ice

Jungwon wins the men’s category of Skate Canada.

You welcome him back to Korea with a huge hug at the airport, slightly startling him but he hugs you back nevertheless. “You did so, so good!” you say, and Jungwon smiles.

“Thank you.” he says. “I haven’t felt this happy to win gold in so long.”

“You know I cried watching your free skate?” you say, and Jungwon looks at you, eyes widened. “Really?” he asks, as you lead him to your car. 

“I was really proud. And happy. Because you looked like you liked skating again.” you say. “I did like skating there. I haven’t enjoyed skating competitively for so long… and I feel like I just did better when I enjoyed it.” he hums.

“Jungwon, you broke a world record, and you had fun while doing it.” you say.

“I did.” he replies. “If you had told that to me at the beginning of the year, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

You load his luggage into the trunk of your car, motioning for him to get into the front seat. He does, and when you slide into the driver’s seat, he surprises you with a cute stuffed toy of an adorable polar bear — which are the plushies that your fans throw onto the ice after you skate.

“I saw this in a store window when I was heading back to the hotel, and it reminded me of you,” he says, handing it to you. “It’s so cute, Jungwon! Thank you.” you say, taking the toy in your hands. “Look, I even got it skates.” he says, pointing at the skates attached to the polar bear toy’s feet, making you chuckle. 

“That’s so cool.” you say, setting it aside so you can drive. “I’m putting this on my nightstand.” 

You do actually want to put it on your nightstand, but you decide to bring it with you to France. You pack it in your backpack the night before you leave. “You’re my good luck charm now,” you tell the stuffed toy.

And this time it’s Jungwon’s turn to send you off. 

Like what you did when Jungwon was in Canada, he texts you as much as he can, updating you on the little things that go on at the rink, such as telling you about how Jiwon bought a hot dog, or Jongseob doing backflips on the ice nonstop.

He keeps his promise of watching you skate. He watches your short program on his bed, his dog Maeumi curling up beside him as he watches in anticipation. You skated clean in the short program, and as if Jungwon was actually in the arena right now, he erupts into applause. 

“Look, Maeumi. (Name) did well.” he says, showing his dog the screen that showed the rankings. Maeumi only blinks at the screen. 

When the time to watch your free skate rolls around, Jungwon drops everything to watch it. He ends his call with Wonyoung, when they’re talking about the family gathering next month that Jungwon doesn’t think that he’ll be able to make it to. “Sorry, Wonyo — something important just came up, I’ll call you back later.” he tells her, ending the call swiftly.

He sees you in the last group of skaters warming up — you’re going to skate last, because you placed first during the short program. He watches as you land a triple loop cleanly, and unconsciously, a smile makes its way to his lips.

He watches the other skaters skate before you, and they all do pretty well. There’s a couple of falls, and Jungwon winces when one of the skaters hits the ice particularly hard. 

And when your name is announced, his eyes are immediately drawn to the screen, diverting his attention from Maeumi, who now also seems to be drawn to the laptop.

“Last to skate is (Name), representing South Korea. Now, (Name) had a wonderful season last year — placing 1st at the Grand Prix finals, and 2nd at the World Championships. Placed first in the short program, she’s surely aiming for the top of the podium here today.” the commentator says. 

Jungwon chews on the inside of his cheek nervously as your music starts. 

Every time you skate, Jungwon is in awe, and today is certainly no exception. You glide on the ice as smoothly as a flowing river, every movement of yours from your arm all the way to your fingertips controlled delicately. 

Quad flip, Jungwon thinks at the same time the commentator says that out loud. You land it beautifully, and Jungwon nods his head, murmuring ‘nice’. Maeumi looks at Jungwon’s laptop screen, just as transfixed on your skating as his owner is. 

Being able to watch your skating is a gift in itself, Jungwon thinks. Your performances are absolutely mesmerising, and Jungwon knows he wouldn’t be able to look away even if he tried. You are a master at combining technique with artistry – without a doubt, it is clear to everybody that you were born to skate. As you continue with your program, Jungwon’s eyes follow your figure on the screen.

He has watched you do this program a million times. Every single time, he gets chills – every single time, you do it better than the last time. Everything is executed to perfection, and there is one thing Jungwon notices clearly as you skate. It is your passion for it. 

You skate as if it'll be your last skate ever. You give your all, expressing every single emotion you feel and sharing it with the audience. You aren’t showing off your skills – you are telling a story. A tale of you and the ice.

You once mentioned to him that you had always wanted to fly. You might not have wings, but you have your skates. Aim higher. Soar higher. Despite how difficult figure skating is, and the injury that almost took you out of the sport — never once, have you thought to quit. Never once have you wanted to give up on your dream, and never once have you ever imagined a world without you skating.

Jungwon wants to skate with as much passion and love as you have for the sport. He has much to learn from you, and it is only when your music stops that he realises that a single tear drops from his eye. 

You have single handedly changed Jungwon’s entire perspective of skating. You managed to help him fall back in love with the sport – and he knows he’s not fully there yet, but he’s close to it, and your encouragement played a huge part in it. He knows he would be miserable on the ice if you hadn’t. 

And when your scores are announced, with everyone in the arena and everyone watching online hearing how you had broken a new world record, Jungwon jumps up from his bed with joy, a huge grin plastered on his lips. 

Nobody deserves that gold medal more than you do. 

THIRTEEN. thin ice

With each skate and each reminder that he should use the ice to release all his pressures and burdens, Jungwon enjoys skating more and more now. 

Irene notices how Jungwon finds skating more exciting. Being subjected to only frowns and sighs of disappointment only for the past few years, she thinks it’s certainly a nice change – and deep inside, she hopes that Jungwon will change his mind about retirement. 

He has been seriously considering it now. With him now being able to enjoy skating competitions, Jungwon finds himself wanting to compete next season, but still, a little part of him still wonders if he should let his first love go. 

He thinks he’ll decide after the Olympics (that is if he makes the team, of course.) Jungwon knows he’ll have to put out a really good skate at Nationals in January. Despite that little devil telling him that if he doesn’t train morning, noon and night, he’ll lose, Jungwon decides to ignore it. He finds that he skates better when he’s having fun anyways. 

NHK Trophy rolls around soon enough, and it’s both yours and Jungwon’s last Grand Prix assignment before the Final. You two are finally travelling together for the first time since the ice show, and you don’t forget to buy a cat plushie to hand to him after his free skate (you know he has plenty of them, but one more couldn’t hurt.)

Jungwon does the same, buying a polar bear plushie for you that he stuffs into his suitcase. 

The competition goes well for both of you, with both of you winning silver medals and gaining a spot in the Grand Prix Final.

You both fall once in the free skate, with the winners of the competition skating cleanly for both programs. The Jungwon a couple months ago would be terribly upset about it – but now, Jungwon is happy about silver. He podiumed whilst skating happily. Something that he didn’t think he’d be able to do again. 

When Jungwon hands you the polar bear plushie after your free skate, he doesn’t realise that a camera goes off the second you take hold of it in your hands. And when you hand him the cat plushie after his free skate, another camera goes off as well – you both don’t find out until somehow Dispatch releases an article about it. 

First of all, Jungwon wonders why you two are on Dispatch anyways. You two aren’t idols, and you doubt that the public would really care about either of your romantic lives, but Jungwon finds that he is very wrong after reading some of the comments from netizens. Second of all, he wonders why he didn’t notice the camera flash when both incidents happened. Third of all, he examines his face closely – and he thinks that the smile he’s giving you is one of the brightest ones of his that’s been seen on camera.

Harua texts him a ‘invite me to the wedding’ with a link to the article and too many emojis that it gives Jungwon an eyesore. Jungwon replies with a no and a middle finger emoji. Harua knows well enough that you and Jungwon aren’t together.

Yuzuru texts him ‘Are you two finally together? Congratulations!’ with perfect capitalisation and a link to the article. Jungwon replies with another no, but this time with a smiley face instead of the middle finger. Yuzuru texts him a thumbs up. His follow up message reads I’m sure it’ll happen soon though, and Jungwon just sends back a ‘hahahahaha’. 

And you’re subjected to merciless teasing from Riki, who spams the article link in your chat. You honestly think it’s much worse than the comments from some of the netizens you read. But honestly, what the netizens say isn't even that bad. Except for the comments from the ones who want Jungwon to be theirs. Those ones you just laugh at, because honestly, they’re quite hilarious. You’ve never read such creative insults directed at you. 

But the articles make Jungwon think. 

About the possibility of being in a relationship with you. He’s established that he thinks he likes you (or at least his feelings for you do fit what Wonyoung and Google have said about what liking someone is like), but Jungwon has never thought about… dating. 

Quite frankly, Jungwon thinks that he’d be scared to tell you about his feelings – because he knows that once you confess, that relationship would be changed forever. You can’t go back to just friends when the other knows that you want to be more than that. And what happens if the relationship doesn’t work out? Do you just act like the whole thing never happened? Or do you just cut the other person off completely? 

The latter option is absolutely not possible considering that you and Jungwon are training mates too. 

This is complicated. And thinking about it makes Jungwon’s head hurt. 

But then he looks at the cat plushie on his bed that you had given to him after he finished skating his free program. The joy that fills his heart is immense, and he can’t stop the lovestruck grin from spreading across his lips. 

Is this what the movies and books described as being struck by Cupid’s arrow? Because if so, Jungwon thinks that Cupid shot an arrow straight through his heart, with your name engraved on the tip of it. 

Jungwon can’t stop thinking about you. His day is instantly made the second he sees you walk through the doors of the Taereung ice rink, and he looks at you as if you've got the whole universe in your hands. Every single move you make, every single smile you send his way makes that blooming feeling in Jungwon’s chest get warmer, warmer, and warmer. 

Jungwon likes you. He thinks he really, really likes you. 

And coming to that conclusion doesn’t make him as afraid as he thought he'd be. He’s calm, and he thinks his conclusion just seems right. As if the final piece of the puzzle is put into place, Jungwon’s feelings for you are finally sorted out. 

Jungwon doesn’t need Harua, Wonyoung or Google to tell him that he likes you. 

He just knows it. 

Confessing is a whole other story, but Jungwon thinks that when the right time comes, he’ll do it. He doesn’t know much about love, with his entire life practically being devoted to the ice – but he knows that when it feels right, it must be the right time. 

So, Jungwon comes to two conclusions that night. 

One: he really likes you, and he doesn���t need anyone else to confirm it for him.

Two: he can’t believe that a Dispatch article made him realise that he really liked you. 

FOURTEEN. public skating session 

You ask Jungwon if you’d like to skate at another public rink after the Grand Prix Final is over.

He immediately says yes.

He doesn’t take you up on the offer to wear rental skates though, so both of you lace up your skates on the bench, Jungwon putting your bags into a cubbyhole. 

“Let’s go, Wonie!” you say, and he finds his heart fluttering at the nickname. He follows you onto the rink like the first time, and you two skate side by side, at a way slower pace than usual to be mindful of the other skaters at the rink.

“How does it feel to be the 2026 Grand Prix Final champion?” you ask him, and he smiles at you. “Hmm. I don’t know,” Jungwon replies. “I should be asking you that.”

You and Jungwon both winning in your respective categories were amazing for the media. Yang Jungwon and (Name), figure skaters rumoured to be dating win Men’s Grand Prix Final and Women’s Grand Prix Final was the headline. But at least Dispatch can add more to their article, and you and Jungwon get to go home with shiny gold medals. 

“Feels pretty good. Two years in a row,” you say, and he pats you on the back. “You deserved it,” Jungwon says. “Have I ever told you how in awe I am whenever I watch you skate?” 

“Thank you,” you say, chuckling as your cheeks turn hot at the compliment. “Your skating is amazing as well — that step sequence in World Dreams? Gave me actual chills. I saw a tear drop from a woman’s eye when I was seated in the crowd.”

“Really?” Jungwon asks, and you nod. “She was bawling by the end of it, I think.” you say, and Jungwon softly smiles. “I’m glad my skating made her feel something… hopefully all good things though.” 

“Most definitely good things. She threw 5 cat plushies onto the ice. I think she’s a hardcore fan.” you reply. “She might’ve dethroned my spot as your number one fan.” 

“Hey,” Jungwon says, pouting. “You texted me when I was at Skate Canada saying that you’d always be my number one fan.” 

“Yeah, but she was like a diehard fan,” you say. “Don’t worry though, I’ll throw out 15 cat plushies when you skate during Nationals. I’m taking my spot back.” 

“I’ll throw out more than 15 polar bear plushies when you skate at Nationals. I’ll throw out 16.” 

“Are you challenging me?” 

“Yeah,” Jungwon says, a smile never leaving his lips. 

“We can just be each other’s number one fan.” you say, and Jungwon nods. “Deal. So can I get your autograph?” he jokes. 

“Sure thing,” you say, playing along. You motion for him to hold his palm out, and you trace your autograph on his hand. “There you go!” you say, tracing a smiley face and a heart as well. 

“I’ll treasure this forever,” he quips. 

“You better.” 

You two fall into a comfortable silence as you both skate laps around the rink, observing the other people there. Like last time, there are couples on dates, there are little kids learning to skate, and there’s people who actually figure skate, doing spins in the centre of the rink. 

“Right, I was going to say. You seem way, way more happier on the ice than you were before,” you tell Jungwon, who nods. “Yeah. I think I actually like skating again. I mean… I can’t exactly say love, because you know… sometimes I just revert back to the way I used to think whenever I fail at something.” he replies. “But competitions are a lot more fun. The ice doesn’t drain me of all my energy anymore, and winning medals sort of brings me fulfilment again.”

“That’s amazing, Won.” you say. 

Now that you think about it. Jungwon wanted to retire because he didn’t love skating anymore. But now that Jungwon enjoys it again, you’re left wondering if he’ll still continue competitive skating.

It’s as if Jungwon’s able to read your mind. “I’m not sure if I’ll retire or not. On one hand, skating is fun now… and I’d like to continue at least maybe for a little longer, but I’m also wondering if I should just… let go. Explore things outside of skating, even though I know I’ll probably come back to the ice every time.”

You let his words sink in for a moment. “I think… you don’t have to decide your future plans this early. You could decide at the Olympics, after you skate. Or you could even go to Worlds after the Olympics and decide then.”

“Yeah. I could do that.” Jungwon breathes out. “I’m just… indecisive and unsure of everything right now.”

“No, I get it,” you nod. “You have time, Jungwon. Don’t rush things.” you tell him. 

Jungwon agrees with you. Thinking about too much and thinking too far ahead were two of the many reasons why he fell out of love with figure skating. Now that he’s slowly started to enjoy it again, he knows he has to rid himself of his bad habits. 

“Okay. It’s not like I’m in a hurry to retire. If I was, I would’ve already done it by now.” he says, smiling. “And if I don’t retire this season, I’ll probably just retire in 2030. I can still fulfil my dream of leaving at the biggest stage.” 

“I feel like I’d do that as well, if I’m not gonna lie.” you say, and Jungwon tilts his head. “So are we retiring together?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “I mean… if you don’t retire during this Olympics, then probably. But do what feels right, Won. Don’t do it because you feel pressure from others to keep going. If you love the sport, you’ll always find a way back to it, like something like professional skating, or coaching, or doing commentary. If you think it’s time, then it’s time.” 

Jungwon can always count on you for giving him great advice. 

“You’re right.” he says. “Anyways… enough about that.” he spots a penguin skating aid in the corner, and he skates up to grab a hold of it. He pushes it as he skates, and you can’t help but find the mere action adorable. 

You pull out your phone to record him, and you chuckle as you see him skate faster towards you. “Cute,” you say, and Jungwon’s cheeks flush pink. If you ask, he’ll blame it on the rink being cold. 

“You use it,” he says, pushing the skating aid towards you. You gladly take it, grabbing ahold of the handles, pushing it as you skate with Jungwon by your side. 

Talking to Jungwon is easy. He tells you about how he stores his medals in ziplock bags when he needs to take them to interviews, to which you propose a better idea: using socks (a trick you learned from none other than Yuzuru Hanyu himself.) He also tells you about his dog, Maeumi, who apparently had watched your Grand Prix de France free skate with him – Jungwon says that Maeumi was absolutely mesmerised by your performance, and it’s interesting how every single thing Jungwon says is able to bring a smile to your face. 

You tell him that you’d like to meet Maeumi, and he tells you that you’re welcome over anytime. Your heart flutters at the invitation that you accept warmly. “In fact, you could come over after we leave.” 

“Really?” you ask, and Jungwon nods. “It’s not like we’ll be spending more than an hour here anyways. We already spend most of our days at another rink – we’d get way too bored if we spend hours here like everyone else.” 

Jungwon is right. After 20 minutes of more skating and just talking to each other about your lives (as if you didn’t learn nearly absolutely everything about him during the off-season), you and Jungwon head over to his apartment, where you meet Maeumi. 

And as you play with Maeumi, gushing over how cute he is, you notice the fond smile on Jungwon’s lips as he watches you two from the couch. 

You don’t know why, but that look on Jungwon’s face makes you think that perhaps you two could be something more than friends. 

FIFTEEN. last nationals skate (?)

Jangmi calls Jungwon the day before the short program for Nationals. 

“I’m sorry for getting upset,” she tells him. “It’s your career, not mine.”

Jungwon sighs. “It’s fine. I don’t think I know what I want to do with my career either. Retiring is an option, and competing… also is another option now.” 

Jangmi somehow sounds happier at the sound of Jungwon’s words. “That's… good,” she says, trying to not make it obvious that continuing to skate is still an option for Jungwon. “What changed your mind?”

“I started liking it again.” he says, gazing at the sheet of ice in the Uijeongbu ice rink. The ice finally feels like home again, and instead of bringing him dread, Jungwon feels at ease at the rink now. The pressure is no longer something that drags him under – it is now something he uses to allow himself to skate better. 

Now when he skates, he feels his passion for it again. “Even the brightest of flames burn out,” you had said. His flame dimmed, nearly being put out entirely – but he’s more than happy to have been able to ignite it again. 

And as his music starts playing for the short program, Jungwon realises something as he glides across the ice elegantly. 

If he retires, this will be his last ever Nationals. 

This crowd, this rink, this atmosphere – it’ll be the last time he ever gets to experience this. He stays completely focused on his program, but this thought lingers at the back of his mind when he lands the quad lutz. 

The audience cheers, and Jungwon’s eyes catch sight of the banners that fans have made for him in the crowd, with encouraging words that bring a smile to Jungwon’s face. 

When he finishes his short program, Jungwon pumps his fist into the air, more than satisfied with his performance. He skates around the rink as the audience throws stuffed animals onto the ice, picking some up as he thanks the crowd. 

He bows before leaving the rink, Irene pulling him into a hug after he puts his skate guards on. “You did amazing.” she says, and Jungwon smiles. “Thank you,” he replies, as he makes his way to the Kiss and Cry.

As he waits patiently for his scores, he can’t stop thinking about how if he does decide to retire at the end of this season, that was his last ever short program at Nationals. He didn’t think this far ahead when he told Irene that he wanted to hang up his skates at the beginning of the off season, and now that he realises that he may be nearing the end of his career, Jungwon suddenly starts feeling a wave of sadness. 

He was nothing but sure about his decision when he told Irene that he’d be retiring. But now, sitting in the Kiss and Cry at quite possibly one of his last competitions ever, Jungwon thinks he might just want to hold on for a little longer. 

“The scores, please.” the announcer says, ending Jungwon’s train of thought. 

“The short program score for Yang Jungwon is 112.36, which currently puts him in first place.” 

The crowd erupts into cheers at his score, and Jungwon smiles in satisfaction while Irene claps. “Good job,” she tells him, and Jungwon thanks her. He stands up, bowing once again before leaving the Kiss and Cry, and everything just slowly starts sinking in. 

If this was his last short program ever at Nationals, at least he did well. 

But Jungwon doesn’t want this to be his last ever Nationals. The feeling of wanting nothing more than to just leave the ice has completely disappeared in a matter of months, and Jungwon now just wants to stay. 

Maybe it isn’t time to hang up his skates. 

After finding his passion for skating again, Jungwon just wants to feel the thrill of competition. He dreaded competitions months ago, but now his feelings towards the ice have completely changed. Winning medals can finally bring him satisfaction again – he’s being acknowledged for being good at something that he loves. 

He can now look at the cameras while standing atop that podium with a genuine smile on his face. He doesn’t feel like he’s a robot anymore, with  every move he makes when he skates programmed into his brain – he feels like he’s a writer, or a poet, telling his story on the ice. 

He changes out of his costume, putting on a hoodie and some sweatpants before leaving the locker room. He checks the time, realising that there’s only an hour until the women’s free skate – he promised you that he’d be in the crowd.

With 16 polar bear stuffed animals that he currently does not have. 

He rushes to the nearest toy shop, asking the staff if they have polar bear plushies still in stock, and luckily, they do. The shop assistant helping him looks slightly concerned when he asks for 16, but still brings them all out in a basket. “Is this for (Name)?” she asks, and Jungwon furrows his eyebrows, confused as to how she would know that. 

“Yeah… how’d you know?” 

“Bunch of people came in asking for polar bear stuffed toys to throw onto the ice for her.” she says, scanning all the polar bears. “Oh. That’s nice of them.” Jungwon replies. 

“You bought the most.” the shop assistant says, putting all of them into a large shopping bag for Jungwon, noticing how he only has a backpack that most certainly won’t fit 16 polar bear toys. 

“Oh, cool.” he says, swiping his card on the reader. The transaction goes through, and the shop assistant smiles at him before handing him his receipt. “Good luck to both you and (Name) on your free skates,” she tells him, and Jungwon thanks her before leaving the store. 

He makes it back to the Uijeongbu ice rink just in time, with Jongseob saving him a seat. “That’s a shit ton of polar bears you’ve got there,” Jongseob says, holding a plushie of Artemis from the Sailor Moon series to throw on the ice after Jiwon skates. 

“Yeah.” Jungwon replies, putting the shopping bag onto the ground. 

“You’re a dedicated boyf– fan!” 

“Enough.” 

There’s five groups of skaters, and you’re the last to skate. Jungwon cheers for each and every skater, but his cheers will definitely be the loudest for you. Jongseob yells as his life depends on it when Jiwon skates onto the ice. 

Soon enough, it’s your turn to skate. You look at the crowd, spotting Jungwon and Jongseob sitting together and you flash Jungwon a smile, whilst a shit-eating grin spreads across Jongseob’s lips. “Good luck,” he mouths to you, and you nod as a way of saying thank you. 

Your program goes well, for the most part – aside from falling on a quad toe loop and stepping out on a triple lutz. Jungwon knows that you’ve done enough to secure a podium spot – and a spot on the Olympic team, and it seems as if you know that too, tears streaming down your face the minute you finish your program. 

You’re going to the Olympics. You’ve finally achieved your lifelong dream.

Cheers and applause resound throughout the rink, with tons of polar bear stuffed toys being thrown out onto the ice by fans, and Jungwon is one of them. You see him throw out polar bear after polar bear from the shopping bag he’s holding, and a sweet smile spreads across Jungwon’s lips as he sees your surprised face.

“16?” you mouth at him, and Jungwon nods. You can’t help but clap your hands over your mouth to hide your laughter, and as the announcer calls your name again, you skate into the middle of the rink, bowing once again before leaving.

Eventually, it is you, Jiwon and another skater named Kim Chaeyeon who get named to the Olympic team. 

Like how Jungwon bought 16 plushies for you during your free skate, you buy 17. It’s a funny coincidence how you both end up going to the same toy shop, and the shop assistant gives you a smile when you enter. “Could I get… 17 cat plushies?”

“This is for Yang Jungwon, right?”

“How’d you know?”

“He said the same thing when he came in yesterday to get 16 polar bear plushies for you,” she says, taking the toys and putting them into a basket. You have a nice conversation with her before you leave the shop with a large bag holding exactly 17 cat plushies. 

You notice multiple things when you’re in the audience. Jiwon has a stuffed animal of a tiger in her lap that she throws out onto the ice when Jongseob skates. She also gives you a look as if to tell you not to tease her about it. You also see tons of people holding cat plushies, ready to throw onto the ice after Jungwon skates, and you’re one of those people too. 

You also notice the passion Jungwon now has for skating. He commands the ice, moving fluidly across the rink – Jungwon is a phenomenal skater. Goosebumps rise up on your skin, and you don’t think any other skater has been able to convey emotions to the audience this effectively. 

Like you, Jungwon qualifies for a spot on the Olympic team. 

He gazes at you as you throw cat plushies onto the ice, and a fond smile spreads across his lips. “17?” he mouths at you, and you nod. 

Jungwon wonders if your heart’s beating as fast as his. 

Little does he know, it is. 

SIXTEEN. born to skate

Just being able to go to the Olympics is truly sensational.

You weren’t even able to fully process it until you saw a staff member walk up to you and hand you your Olympic security pass. Your name’s on it, along with the 2026 Milano Cortina logo on the right – and under your name, it says athlete. 

You can’t believe a security pass might actually make you burst into tears. 

Jungwon hangs his security pass over his neck, and then turns to look at you. “You okay?” he asks, and you nod. “Yeah,” you reply. “It’s just kind of crazy. I’m going to compete at the Olympics – Wonie, oh my god. I’m an Olympian.” 

“You are,” he says. He takes your hand, locking his fingers with yours and gives your hand a tight squeeze. The mere action makes your face feel hot, your heart beating in your chest incredibly fast. “You’ll do great, don’t worry.” 

“You will too,” you say, beaming at him. You don’t want him to let go of your hand. Jungwon doesn’t want to let go either. 

He only let go when Jongseob and Jiwon were walking towards you two. 

That aside, time seems to go by faster for some reason. You arrived in Italy 2 days before the men’s short program event, and today’s already the day. Jungwon changes into his costume, and zips on the South Korea team jacket before he leaves the changing room. 

“You ready?” you ask him.

“Yeah. I'm a little nervous, but it’ll go away when I start skating.” he replies, and you smile. “You’ve got this, Won.” you say, pulling him into a hug. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs.

Before he starts skating, Jungwon looks into the crowd to spot where you’re seated. You give him a thumbs up, and he smiles softly before getting into his starting position. 

Jungwon has missed the Olympic ice. 

In the crowd, you notice how Jungwon’s skating even better than he did at Nationals. He skates with  pure emotion – as if this skate could very well be his last. 

Then the realisation hits you like a truck. 

If Jungwon did decide to retire, sticking with his original plans – this would be his last competitive short program, ever. And now every move he makes on the ice seems to have a whole new meaning for you. 

He skates like he’s got everything on the line. Time and time again, Jungwon tells the audience that he was born to skate – but this performance proves it. Every jump, every spin, every transition, every choreo sequence and every step sequence is executed to absolute perfection. 

Yang Jungwon is a master of his craft. Nobody can doubt that. 

Nobody will doubt that after this performance.

Jungwon has sacrificed hours, days, months and years to produce a performance like this. He has never felt such fulfilment, such satisfaction after skating – the only word he can use to describe how he feels after his skate is that he is proud. 

He is proud that he was able to put out a performance like that. He is proud that he’ll be recognised for an impeccable short program. But most importantly, he is proud that he delivered a program of such quality whilst enjoying every moment he had on that Olympic ice. 

And when the scores are announced, saying that he is currently in first, Jungwon doesn’t think he’s ever felt happier. Irene hugs him tightly, and Jungwon’s practically shaking in disbelief. 

Nobody beats his short program score for the night. Jungwon knows the medal is just within his reach. 

Feeling victory finally feels good, and Jungwon hasn’t even won yet. 

When you rush up to him immediately after he exits his changing room, you wrap him in a huge hug, and at first, he’s startled by your action. But he immediately hugs you back, his cheeks dusted with a light shade of pink that he knows he’ll get teased about if Harua sees it. 

“Won, that was incredible!” you could gush over his performance for hours and hours on end. “You were absolutely mesmerising. The image you were painting inside my head – all of our heads! It was so vivid. I felt like I could feel what you felt as you were skating. Everyone was blown away. You’re absolutely sensational.”

Jungwon thinks of you in an incredibly high regard. So hearing these words from you makes his eyes well up slightly with tears, and you immediately notice. 

“Don’t cry!” you say, wrapping him in another hug. “I just needed you to know how incredible you are.” 

Jungwon needs you to know how incredible you are as well.

He feels nothing but warmth as he’s in your embrace, and truly, perhaps this is what Jungwon thinks he might call love. Because you care for him in a way that nobody else has. You didn’t know him well at the time, but still offered to try and get him to enjoy skating again. You push him to be a better skater, and a better person – and Jungwon didn’t think he knew what love was.

But now he thinks he does.

Quite simply, love is you. 

And he cares for you more than he cares about anyone else, even if he thinks that he is terrible at showing it. He isn’t the best when it comes to love, or relationships – but he’s learning. He’s learning all because of you. 

In less than one year, you have changed Jungwon’s life entirely.

You’ve taught him how to have fun skating again. You’ve taught him to allow himself to loosen up, and not let pressure define him. You’ve also taught him what it’s like to be loved. And how to love. 

Jungwon doesn’t know if this is a stretch, but he feels like you might’ve quite literally saved him. Jungwon is forever grateful for the fact that you walked into his life the moment he needed someone like you. 

And Jungwon is more than sure that he indeed does love you. 

Jungwon feels relief when he finally admits it to himself. Perhaps it’s because deep down, he knew that he loved you all this time – he just didn’t exactly confront himself about his feelings. 

With you by his side, Jungwon feels like an Olympic gold medalist already. 

SEVENTEEN. olympic ice

The free skate rolls around faster than Jungwon thought.

But he thinks that he’s prepared. He’ll give it his all tonight. He doesn’t even think about the upcoming decision he has to make about his career – he personally believes that the idea that he could possibly win Olympic gold feels a little more important than that.

He knows you’re in the crowd, watching him. It gives him an extra boost of confidence. Jungwon doesn’t realise this until now, but he seems to skate better when you’re in the audience. Perhaps you’re his lucky charm. 

He’s last to skate, being first in the short program. Jungwon’s fully focused during the couple minutes of warm up, jumping a triple axel that he manages to land well, and a quad toe that he finds is a little shaky on the landing, but he’ll try and land it cleanly in the actual program.

Over the speaker, it’s announced that the warmup time is over. Jungwon and some of the other skaters leave the ice, and the first person skating in the group starts his program. 

Whilst the other skater performs, Jungwon runs through his entire program in his head. He can’t let the pressure get to him – he knows he’ll do worse. He reminds himself to have fun. He’ll be skating on Olympic ice for possibly the last time ever, so he knows that he’ll have to make this count. 

Your words ring in his head as he waits for the skaters before him to finish performing their programs. Skating is something that is meant to be enjoyed with the audience. 

Jungwon decides that he will enjoy every minute and every second of it. 

Irene gives him a thumbs up before he skates out to the centre of the rink. “You’ve got this, Jungwon. Stay focused, stay calm.” she tells him, and Jungwon nods. 

“You go kill it out there.” she says, smiling at him.

Jungwon skates off, and Irene just has the proudest look on her face. She knows that this could very well be the last competitive skate of Jungwon’s life. No matter the result, she would be proud – Yang Jungwon has accomplished so much in his career at the age of 22. 

“Last to skate: Yang Jungwon, of South Korea!” 

The crowd erupts into cheers and applause, Jungwon raising his arms above his head. He lets them fall back down by his sides, doing a couple twizzles around the rink before skating into the centre.

He gets into his starting position, and the music starts. 

He’s done this program tons and tons of times before. He knows exactly what to do at the exact second, twirling across the ice gracefully. First, is the quad lutz. 

You hold your breath in anticipation as he sets up the jump, taking off – and he lands it. 

With one jump, Jungwon makes the crowd go absolutely crazy. Their shouts die down soon after, allowing Jungwon to listen to the music so he knows when and what he needs to do next. 

He successfully lands more jumps, including a quad salchow-quad toe loop combo that he’s able to land flawlessly. Everything is going well, Jungwon thinks. 

As he skates beautiful transitions on the ice, you catch his eye. You’re gazing right at him with the softest look on your face, and Jungwon thinks his heart might melt. You nod at him, as a way to tell him that he’s doing great.

Jungwon doesn’t know why, he doesn’t know how, but in the middle of his Olympic free skate, he feels more compelled to confess his feelings for you than ever. 

He knows that he just has to tell you. 

When he realised he liked you, he decided that he had to wait for the right time to confess. He didn’t exactly know when the right time would be, or if he would ever even find the right time. He also certainly didn’t expect it to be right in the middle of his free skate.

But everything is crystal clear. Jungwon knows it’s the right time, and he can’t exactly shout out that he loves you when he’s currently preparing to jump a triple axel, but he knows the second he’s able to, he will. 

It’s as if time slows, and you’re the only one in the audience. Jungwon only sees you. You two are just in your little bubble – just you, him, and the ice. 

Jungwon skates with so much power, and so much emotion, trying to express every word he wants to say to you, but with his skating. The crowd’s cheers get louder every time Jungwon lands a jump, and it only gives Jungwon motivation to keep getting better and better. 

Olympic gold is so close. If he just reached up and grabbed it, the shining gold plaque would be right in his hands – and Jungwon knows that he cannot let that slip away between his fingers. His whole life has led up to this moment. Falling in love with the ice, then finding that he had let himself hate it, and then trying to ignite that love and passion he had for skating once more. All of this, allowed for him to skate the cleanest program he’s ever skated at the world’s biggest stage for figure skating. 

The music ends, and the crowd erupts with cheers. Jungwon stands there, shocked and still in his ending position. He feels like he can’t move. 

He can’t believe it. 

Did he just win Olympic gold? 

Countless cat plushies fall onto the ice around him as Jungwon just bursts into tears. Irene’s crying as well, tears of joy streaming down on her face as she claps. Jungwon tries to spot you in the crowd, and when he does, he sees you jumping up and down excitedly with Jiwon, and you just look so incredibly happy for him. 

After the toughest years of his career, fighting to try and keep going in a sport he loved no longer, Jungwon is finally able to love figure skating again, and he might have just won Olympic gold in the process. 

He’s still in shock when he leaves the rink, and Irene pulls him into the tightest hug she’s ever given him, as Jungwon cries into her shoulder. “You did it.” she says.

“I did it.” he says – he can’t even believe the words he just said. He heads to the Kiss and Cry with Irene, pulling out tissues from his tissue box nonstop to wipe his tears away. 

Jungwon waits in the Kiss and Cry for his scores – he knows that he’s won. He just needs the scores to confirm it. 

And sure enough, mere minutes later, Yang Jungwon is announced as the 2026 men’s Olympic figure skating champion.

Jungwon can’t stop crying. Tears just keep falling down his cheeks as he bows to everyone. He can’t even use the word joy to describe what he’s feeling. He never thought he could feel this happy after winning a competition. 

If you told Jungwon months ago that he’d be crying tears of joy after winning a competition, he most certainly wouldn’t have believed you. 

The venue ceremony is soon. So soon to the point where Jungwon isn’t even able to come up to you and tell you how he feels. He’ll do it as soon as the ceremony is over. 

As Jungwon steps onto the highest block on the podium, he’s still in disbelief. It isn’t until the medal actually gets hung around his neck, and he touches the shiny golden plaque. He’s not just Olympian Yang Jungwon. He’s not just 2025 World champion Yang Jungwon. He’s not just 6 time National champion Yang Jungwon. 

Now, he’s also Olympic champion Yang Jungwon. 

Falling back in love with skating was hard. Sometimes he felt like simply just giving up was the easier option – but now with the Olympic gold medal right in his hands, Jungwon knows that pushing through it was the right thing to do. He’s never been more sure of that. 

Jungwon has also never been more sure about the fact that he loves you, and he desperately needs to tell you. As soon as the venue ceremony is over, Jungwon rushes out of the rink, quickly changing from his skates to his regular training shoes – he doesn’t even bother to change out of his free skate costume. 

He finds you standing outside of his changing room, and before you can say anything, he wraps you in the tightest hug ever. He holds you like you’re oxygen, and he’s struggling to breathe. 

When he pulls away from the hug, with the gold medal dangling around his neck, he grasps ahold of your hands. “Jungwon, you did it.” you say, tears welling in your eyes. 

“I have to tell you something.” he murmurs. He opens the door of his changing room, pulling you in with him as he shuts the door. “What is it?” you ask.

“I love you.” 

Your eyes widen. 

“I have never, ever known what it’s like to love someone. Even figuring out that I liked you was so hard – because I knew that I felt differently when I was around you, but I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it on what it was. Then, I was told I had a crush on you. I liked you. And that seemed right. Liking you seemed right.” he says, as you let his words sink in. “I was going to wait until I found the right time to tell you that I liked you. But two days ago, I realised that my feelings towards you seem to be more than like. Love. Yes. I love you.” he says, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Saying it sounds right. Saying it now feels right. And I don’t know if you would feel the same way – but I just saw you in the crowd as I was skating today, and I just knew I had to tell you.” 

Jungwon can’t exactly read your reaction until you pull him into a hug. 

“I love you too.” you say.

Jungwon feels like he’s on top of the world. Four simple words managed to make him even happier than he already was after winning the Olympics – he feels like his heart is about to burst at the seams, and he can’t hide the bright grin on his lips. 

“That’s… that’s nice. I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same,” Jungwon confesses, and you frown, cupping his cheeks as you wipe his tears away with the pad of your thumb. “Why wouldn’t I feel the same way, Jungwon?”

“I don’t know.”

You smile softly at him. “I realised that I liked you after we went to the ramen shop that Harua had suggested to us.” 

“You realised earlier than me, then.” Jungwon chuckles. 

“I guess so.”

Jungwon can’t believe he only just realised the close proximity between your faces. Your gaze travels to his lips, before you look back up at his eyes. “Can I kiss you?” you whisper. 

“Yeah,” Jungwon whispers back.

You lean in, connecting your lips with his, and warmth just blooms across Jungwon’s chest, his cheeks, and all the way to the tip of his ears. He can taste the mint flavoured lip balm that he always sees you put on, and it’s only when you pull away that Jungwon realises that it was his first kiss. 

You smile at him brightly, and Jungwon mirrors the expression on your face. It’s hard not to smile when he sees you – you just make him so incredibly happy. Jungwon knows that you make him happier than any Olympic gold ever would. 

The sweet moment is cut short when Jungwon’s whisked away to the press conference, and you tell him that you’ll be seated in the crowd to watch. He gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek before running off, his cheeks tinted bright red as you chuckle at his reaction. 

“How do you feel after a wildly successful season like this, Jungwon?” a reporter asks, and Jungwon thinks about what is the best way to answer his question. 

“This was… a tough season for me mentally.” he says into the microphone. “In all honesty, I fell out of love with figure skating quite some time ago. Going into this season, I was certain that I was going to retire after the Olympics.” 

Every single person in the room looks at him with wide eyes. 

“But, during the off season, I was lucky enough to meet someone who helped me start enjoying it again.” he says, looking directly at you. “They taught me that above all, I should be enjoying myself while I skate, instead of focusing on the pressures to win and do well.” 

“I don’t think I expected to do as well as I did all season,” Jungwon says earnestly. “But I realised that the more I enjoyed skating, the better I did. I think coming into the Olympics, I just tried to focus on having fun and showing the audience my best. Because of this, I think that’s why I was able to do well.” 

“So will this be your last competition?” 

Jungwon presses his lips together in a thin line, as if he’s still unsure about what decision he’s going to make. But when he locks eyes with you, it’s like everything clicks into place. He knows what he wants. He wants to skate. 

“It’s not my last competition,” he says. “I’m going to keep competing. At least for a little while longer. I realised that I can’t exactly let go of the ice this soon when I’ve just started loving it again.”

As he says that into the microphone, Jungwon knows that it’s the right call. There’s a proud smile on your lips, and Jungwon returns the gesture.   

The ice finally feels like home once more. But, Jungwon also realises that home is also wherever you are. 

#enhypenwriters #kflixnet #enhypennetwork #k-labels #enhypen imagines #enhypen oneshots #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen scenarios #enhypen au #enhypen x reader #jungwon imagines #jungwon oneshots #jungwon fluff #jungwon angst #jungwon scenarios #jungwon au #jungwon x reader #⛸️ kiss and cry!

[chaotic-on-main]

hi sky can i also pls order a rum raisin sugar cone with hot fudge?? or if you're outta hot fudge I could definitely take some chopped nuts?? canon pls if possible but no worries if not!!!

Order up!! One rum raisin sugar cone with hot fudge for El!!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairing ➼ Erwin Smith x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ one bed, canonverse, pre-commander Erwin (actually freshly scout initiate Erwin), light fluff, angst (if you squint but you don't need to squint that hard I'M SO SORRY)

☾ A/N ➼ HI EL! I'm so sorry this took forever also sorry that I did Erwin's instead of Miche's but I'm working on that next, I swear!! Canonverse one bed can be hard but I think I made it work out. This became a lot sadder than I initially planned but like, there's hope?? And it's kinda sweet?? But like, knowing what you know for the last half of season 3 :| yeah. I'm sure it's fine a;lsdkjfa;lskjf this is the second time where I've written canon and alluded to the shitshow that happens later as;ldfj ANYWAYS. Thank you so much for sending in a request!! I'm excited to hear what you think. :3

Edit: coming back here to say that I had this exact request sitting in my inbox from El for the longest time and I'm glad you requested it again when I had the creativity and confidence. It still has to do with a tent and a bedroll and one bed, but hopefully this twist was okay lmao. I'm still laughing at my typo with typing right as write akjfksnfmd

☾ Word Count ➼ ~2.3k

It would figure that your first ever expedition would turn into a disaster. Not because of any titan's doings, which is what you would assume would have happened. No, instead of facing an early death, you find yourself dealing with a ripped tent and a torrential rainstorm. Everything you brought with you, including your spare clothes, were soaked through. Nothing was spared from the wrath of the dark skies.

This is why you're marching to the only person you know well enough out of the entire legion that was sent forth on this expedition – Erwin Smith.

Fresh out of the cadet corps, it was a no brainer that Erwin would join the scouts. You were quick to follow, but not because of him per say. You also shared the drive for knowledge on what was out there and a way to cure the sickness that ails humanity – the titans. Both of you begged for any answers and the only way to get those answers was to go beyond the walls, no matter what it took.

For these reasons alone, you and Erwin found friendship in each other easily. But because of those same ideals, you were both very isolated. That isolation was relished between the two of you, though, as it made you closer.

Erwin's tent is now in arms reach and you don't hesitate to scratch at the canvas to get his attention. It was still early in the night, you assumed, so there was a high chance Erwin was still awake. As the cold rain falls around you, dripping down your face and soaking your clothes, you wait impatiently for your friend.

Eventually, a head pops out of the slit of the tent, ocean blue eyes searching until they fall on the figure in front of him. There's a little grimace at first until he realizes it's you, and then it's replaced with a dazzling smile. Bushy eyebrows shoot up his forehead as he takes in the state of you.

“What are you doing out in the rain? Go back to your tent and dry off.”

“I would love to do that but something happened and now there's a giant hole in my tent. Nothing is salvageable. Can I stay with you?” You wrap your arms around your stomach to hold yourself closer for warmth, but there's none left. Your teeth have started chattering at this point.

“Of course, get out of that rain. You'll catch a cold.” Erwin pulls up the flap to give you allowance into his dimly lit tent. Instantly, a burst of warmth blows onto you and you don't have to be told twice. Erwin's tent isn't large by any means, especially considering how much space he takes up already. You find yourself brushing up against him as you scuttle your way into the warm space – you completely miss the way he freezes up for a second as you do.

“Did you bring any spare clothes?” Erwin asks as he ties the tent flaps back together. The rain brought cold wind which made the canvas shudder from the force. You knew Erwin well enough to know he had staked his tent down well, but you still can't help but worry.

“They were ruined as well. I brought my pack but again, nothing was salvageable and it all needs to dry.” You say through chattering teeth as you rub your hands up and down your arms for extra heat. Your pack in question hangs loose on your back and is currently dripping the same amount of water that drips off your shaking frame.

Erwin turns around to take in the sad sight of you, his eyes downturned in concern. You now notice he was in his underclothes, almost ready for bed. His bedroll is spread out next you, which was unfortunately being splattered by rainwater as it drips to the ground.

“You can use some of mine and we'll hang your clothes to dry, okay?” He holds his hand out for you bag which you hand over happily through shaking fingers. You were chilled straight down to the bone.

As he digs around your bag for your extra clothes, you take this moment to look around his cozy space. The bedroll you've already seen, but off to the side is his pack and a dim lantern, and right next to it are a few journals and books. One is half open with a pencil sticking out of it as if he was taking notes in the margins – which you would not put past your bookish friend.

“Okay, you can grab the spare I have in my bag. I'm sure they'll be too big, but it's better than nothing. I'll step out for a second so you can get out of those clothes.” Erwin mutters as he turns to you waiting for an answer. You furrow your eyebrows back.

“So you can get wet too? No way, just. Turn your back or something.” You flap your hand dismissively. The dim light coming from the corner makes it hard to see his face, but if you could you'd notice a very prominent pink flush that starts creeping from his neck into his cheeks. He stutters an agreement and does what he’s told.

Without hesitation, you start stripping. It’s extremely hard to do because not only do you have complicated leather straps to unbuckle, every fabric clung to your skin. Eventually you're able to pull it all off and drop them to the ground with various ‘splat' noises – even your undergarments. Your teeth chatter even harder now as your exposed skin meets the cool, moist air. You trusted Erwin enough to know he wouldn't peek nor do any funny business, but you can't help the heat that burns in your cheeks at the vulnerable position you were in.

As you start rummaging in his pack, you notice he had the bare essentials as well as two other books. You raise an eyebrow at it all as you pull out his white button down – folded neatly of course.

“Did you even bring any rations with you?” You half-joke as you tug Erwin's shirt over your head and down your body.

“I did. Enough for the expedition, of course.” He chuckles, knowing damn well you were poking fun at his books.

Due to the massive height difference, his shirt is practically a dress on you as it falls a little under your butt. You already knew his pants weren't going to fit but you still pulled them on just to see. It was almost comical how easy they fell down your legs. With a soft huff, you step out of the uniform that pooled at your feet and tug your underwear back on. Wet was better than being exposed.

“Everything okay?” Erwin asks, still with his back turned to you.

“Yeah, everything is fine. Your clothes are just so big. I'm done, by the way.” You say as you straighten back up after tucking his things back into his pack.

“Better than being wet.” He turns back around, those eyes of his sparkling in the dim flames. They glance down to your bare legs for a second before jumping back up to your face. There's an obvious blush across his pale cheeks but you pretend not to notice.

“Yeah, that's fair.” You sigh as you sit yourself down on Erwin's bedroll. The leather is soft against your exposed legs which you cover quickly with the thin fleece blanket provided. It's considerably less cold, your teeth finally at a standstill.

“Erwin, are you sure this is okay? I don't want to impose.” You watch as Erwin lowers himself down next to you, half on the bed. You scoot over so he has room and he follows suit – still partially off the cloth but not as bad.

“Nonsense. And leave you sopping wet? Don't be dumb.” He gently knocks into your shoulder with his own, a low chuckle rumbling out of his chest.

“Well, thanks. I don't have to take the be-"

“Don't even think about it. I don't need one, you take it. Besides, you're the one that got drenched, not me. Your body heat needs to get back to normal.”

You don't answer back to that. Erwin Smith, the chivalrous knight as always. As the heavy raindrops hit the top of the tent, you find your thoughts drifting back to when you and Erwin first met – back in the cadet corps.

“What do you think is out there?” You ask quietly, watching the lantern-lit shadows dance against the inner tent walls.

“Freedom, I hope. An elixir to humanity. More answers to questions that haven't been asked yet.”

“Hm. Do you think we'll ever live to see those questions answered?” You look over to your friend as he meets your gaze, eyes softened as they bounce around your face.

“We have to. Or at least, we have to hope for it. That's all we can do.” His lips twitch into a smile.

“What do you think Nile is up to?”

“Doing his best to look out for the people, I suppose. As much as I think he would have made a great scout, I'm glad he's there. He'll be able to keep people in line effectively.” His shoulders bounce from soft laughter, no doubt thinking back to the shenanigans Nile had to save you from time and time again.

“You know, before we left I heard word that he was thinking about marrying Marie.” You mutter, looking away and back to the canvas walls.

“Yeah, I did too. I sent him my best regards.”

Distant thunder cracks above as the wind starts to pick up a little more. You bite back what you really wanted to ask but found your curiosity winning over, as it always did. Something you think will never change despite the trouble you've gotten into over the years.

“Do you regret not staying for her?”

“No, it wasn't going to work out anyways. Besides, our lives have bigger purposes. I wasn't meant to settle down, I don't think.” Erwin responds back faster than you thought, clearing any doubts you had for him.

“So you don't think you'll ever get married?”

“With this line of work? I'd have to retire first.” You laugh at that, trying to picture what an old retired Erwin would look like.

“I think I'd like to. But not until we get answers, of course.” You say quickly, giving him a quick glance. Answers were all you and Erwin ever wanted when it came to the decision of joining the scouts.

“Then that means we need to push even harder, doesn't it?” A yawn escapes you as he finishes his sentence, and he raises a bushy eyebrow at you.

“You should get some rest, you look drained.”

“What about you? There's not a lot of room here.”

“It'll be fine.” He sounds so nonchalant but the blush on his face that no doubt mirrors yours says otherwise. You're suddenly hyper aware that you're only in a shirt and underwear.

“Fine, but no funny business, Mr. Smith.” You narrow your eyes playfully before sliding yourself lower onto the leather until you're fully lying down. Always the knight, Erwin lies down too but gives a good 6-inch clearance, enough that you know he's half off the bedroll again.

“Thanks, Erwin.” You mumble before closing your eyes, the smell of cedar wafting into your senses – something that always came with Erwin's proximity. You're drifting off before you know it, straight into dreams about your younger cadet years.

As you sleep, you of course are not aware of Erwin's careful gaze as your breathing becomes heavier with every passing minute. The way your eyelashes flutter as your eyes move around in your dreaming state. How your cheeks and bottom lip puff out, tinted light pink. Erwin hopes that somewhere out there, there's a world where he could settle down. And hopefully it was you that he was with.

.

“Commander Smith?” A soft voice brings Erwin out of his memories and into the present where a young boy with blond hair and bright blue eyes stares at him.

“Ah, yes. Sorry about that. You were saying, Arlert?” Erwin sits up in his bed, using his remaining arm to push him into a better position. The throbbing pain that radiates off his right side is ever present, but not as white hot as it was before. It was nothing he couldn't handle. What did weird him out was the feeling of his fingers that were no longer there.

“Forgive me for being so bold to ask, but is something bothering you Sir?” Armin shifts nervously in his chair, the wooden frame creaking from under him.

“Aside from the missing arm?” Erwin chuckles darkly. He notes the wide-eyed disposition of the cadet in front of him, expression full of worry. And… a little bit of underlying excitement. “I'm fine. You just remind me of someone I knew, is all.”

“O-oh. I hope that's a good thing?”

“It is. I think they would like you. But about the basement? You had theories about what might be down there?”

“Yes! Well, I was thinking…”

Erwin watches young Armin Arlert as he rattles on, not being able to stop the string of thoughts of how much he missed you and wished that you were still here with him. How much you would have loved to learn the secrets of the walls and what might lie beyond. What you would have said to Erwin after he quietly whispered over to you, ‘told you so.’

There's an unspoken promise made to you that he would do what he could to learn everything so that when he saw you again in the afterlife, you would get to know as well.

I don't have a lot of Erwin girlies that I know of but I know @bita-bita likes him so uhhh here! Also @melodyuzumaki and @elnyrae just for good measure.

#sky's summer event #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #erwin smith #aot erwin #erwin smith x reader #erwin x reader #erwin smith x gn!reader #erwin x gn!reader #fluff #angst #one bed #one bed trope #asks #answered #el.moots

[iinryer]

Since your Lone Star answers were so great and IF you feel like it….what would you want to see for the original recipe characters?

OH BOY my initial reaction was that i might have less to say about 911 prime bc they actually get real character arcs (🙃)… but that was not the case lol

eddie is also easy i want him to have his arc about being a deeply closeted man figuring it out. comphet to having some more problems and issues to gay realization. eddie and marjan are holding hands in my minds eye. you were written gay you just don’t know it yet

hen i want to have more captain’s seat turmoil! i liked what they set up in 702 but it was resolved so quickly we didn’t really get a chance to explore it. maybe bobby is a little hurt after the cruise so we get a bit more captain hen? it’s an interesting dynamic for her, she wears it well but clearly doesn’t feel Completely at ease with it (“don’t call me cap”) so I’d love to see some breathing room around it to let it play out

ravi i swear to god if they don’t give me a ravi begins im going to do something drastic

chim I’d love to see have some conflict on the job! not with the crew but with a call or something. we see him having relationship insecurities etc bc of calls he goes on, but i feel like we haven’t seen him challenged by an emergency During that emergency in a while… idk what that means specifically but he’s an EXTREMELY competent paramedic and firefighter, i want to see what it would take to make him waver! also more girldad chim :)

karen. more of her. more karen always and forever. I don’t even care in what capacity i just want to see her on my tv

maddie I want to see get to be silly!! i want to see all of that joy and happiness she EARNED by clawing her way through her own mind, and the rest of her life. I’d love to see her get to tell off her parents (a la “love me anyway”), I’d really like to see them unforgiven. i want her and Eddie to hang out also

buck breakdown era WHEN! i know the end of last season got a little ??? which i expect is because they didn’t know if they were getting picked back up again and wanted it to feel like A Conclusion just in case, but i want buck to have a full breakdown. death and spare parts and donor not dad and in case of emergency break glass guardian. i want him to finally lose it for real. he had his shut down era now i want him to boil over :) also more uncle buck and uncle albert!!

athena i want you to have to question your morals and beliefs and I want you to get to be less of a cop gjfhdhf her begins episode makes me so mad I think she should get another one where her oaths are confronted and she gets to let herself choose humanity over law

bobby… oh boy what could we wish for. i think I want them to bring back around the blood thing, where he got a reason to keep living (and maybe parallel it with buck or smth? give him a place to land?). even if it’s not a whole storyline i want to hear where he’s at about that now!! it’s been a long time since we’ve seen him like that, i want to see him revisit what that means after everything he’s built for himself here. I would also love to see buck and bobby acknowledge the father/son dynamic to each other! buck’s said it to TK and bobby said it to may and they’ve mentioned it in a dismissive way during a half reprimand but i want them to acknowledge it for real <3 maybe get a bobby defending buck and/or maddie to the buckley parents

misc: i STILL DESPERATELY want an all-kids episode where may has everyone’s kids at her apartment while the parents are at some kind of first responders and their spouses event and they have to scooby doo a mystery by themselves, please for the love of god i need them to talk about the will again before i explode, i want eddie and karen to hang out and be best friends, more josh and maddie, hen and buck should get drunk again, i would actually also love to see more of lucy!

[housesitting & snowed in send enrichment to my enclosure]

#a day later bc I had a stream last night lol #but it gave me something to chew on this morning so ty!! #iinryer talk #mailbox

[formulinos]

Hyperfixation Corner: The Three Brides of Alain Prost

before he was the chauffeur for the ceo of brazilian fascism, nelson piquet was a regular formula 1 quote-giver. to be fair, and don't let the guy know i said it, some of them were undeniable facts - "golf is a sport for old people," in particular, is probably written somewhere in the bible - while many others show us we shouldn't have been exactly surprised at his lack of moral fiber. there is, however, one quote that stands out against many as it could easily be true as it could just be another wattpad fanfic from the same author of "i was better than senna" - the claim that alain prost ruined three marriages.

today, in this special of hyperfixation corner, i try to give you all the evidence i have gathered over the years on whether alain fucked so hard he would ruin the holy instition of matrimony for bants or not.

the claim the first bride: bernadette cottin the second bride: catherine bleynie the third bride: madame x

The Claim

Over the years, Nelson has claimed repeatedly that Alain's modus operandi was to become close friends with someone so that he could sleep with their wife, since this was the only way he could pull chicks since he's, quote unquote, "ugly". I swear to God, I've listened to and heard this sentence so much I could tell it to a doctor after hitting my head BUT until relatively recently, it stopped at "he did this to three people in the paddock" and BITCH. TO WHOM? 

Enter Lemyr Martins, a Brazilian writer and photographer who has covered our participation in F1 from Fittipaldi to Barrichello, writing a good chunk of books while he was at it. One of those was "Os Arquivos da Fórmula 1" (The Formula 1 Files, in English), published in 1999 and basically filled with stories from his time of coverage. It contained some small interviews with drivers as Lemyr went through the eras, and at some point Piquet, who had already featured quite a bit in the book, decided to talk a bit about his resentment of Brazilian media's lack of standing up for its drivers. You'll find, though, that the point gets lost so surprisingly quickly you'd think Nelson invented DRS here, 12 years before the real deal.

Look at the difference between French newspapers and ours. How they preserved, for instance, Alain Prost. He is a latte* kind of guy, super political, who has never driven a bad car. But he has always had the backing of his press, something we've never had in Brazil. This Prost wasn't ethical at all in his private life. He ruined the marriage of Didier Pironi (Ferrari driver), Gérard Larrousse's marriage (former driver and Larousse-Lola's team owner) and Jacques Laffite's (French driver), but the French newspapers didn't write a single comma about it. He had the nerve, he would start going to his friends' houses, wouldn't come out and then he'd fuck the wife. That's what he did to Pironi, to Larrousse and to Laffite. But I even think he had to act this way to get something because he is really ugly. I took the piss out of Prost the day he changed the shards of teeth he had for veneers and went out smiling to the world. He would circle around the track not to run into me. He spent half a season running to avoid smiling at me. 

* in this context, latte (café-com-leite in Portuguese) means he is a small, weak, bland kind of guy. 

I know all of you want to unpack the last few sentences here, and so do I, but we need to stay focused. We got names: Jacques Laffite, Didier Pironi and Gérard Larrousse. From these, one we can tell for sure it was true, one for sure it is fake and one… is inconclusive. Let's start with the juicier of them all.

The First Bride: Bernadette Cottin

Jacques Laffite was Alain Prost before there was an Alain Prost. Now, I'm not saying he was as talented, because the difference between six Grand Prix wins and four WDCs is considerable, but he was a Driver Superstar in France anyway - and still is, considering only Alain and René Arnoux won more GPs than him. Six years Alain's senior, Jacques drove from 1974 to 1986 in F1, basically alternating long stints between Williams and Ligier, a French team. He decided to retire from F1 after suffering a very grisly accident during the 1986 British Grand Prix, where he broke both of his legs.

Piquet had a point in saying the French press wouldn't write a single word on this all because I simply can't find much on the whole thing, so forgive me for my lack of sources. The earliest mention I could find of Jacques' love life was in this Motorsport Magazine article from October 1981. In it, you can find a reference to a girlfriend, named Bernadette, to whom he was linked from 1967. This Bernadette is, in fact, Bernadette Cottin, who would later become Laffite-Cottin after getting married in November 1977. 

I'm sick and I can't be arsed with photo edits this time, so here is a Getty pic of Jacques and Bernadette (left) with her sister, Geneviève and her husband, Jean-Pierre Jabouille

Bernadette and Jacques were the real deal, as soon after their wedding they had two kids, Camille (1978) and Margot (1980). While I can't pinpoint for sure if there were rocky times between them during their time together, Bernadette was around the paddock somewhat often, as you can see from pics of the couple double dating on a few occasions. When Jacques had his career ending accident, Bernadette was there to nurse him back to health.

Double date with The Rosbergs, 1983

Bernadette and Jacques together after his accident, 1986

Now this is the part where it becomes a bit of oral history - and I bet it was oral alright for Alain and Bernadette. Again, it hasn't been written in detail, so none of this can be attested for sure, so don't sue me. Alain and Jacques were homies, like apparently on the level of business partners and, even more serious in the world of F1, golf buddies. While I can't for the life of me find out what they were business partners in, exactly, there are enough pics of them interacting to be able to assert they were mates alright.

I had so many other pictures I could choose and yet....

Well. After Jacques recovered from the broken legs, he decided to give a go to competing again, mainly focusing on DTM and the 24 hours of Le Mans. However, he also liked to dibby dabby on the Paris-Dakar Rally, and word on the street is that when he got home earlier one year after flopping, he caught Bernadette and Alain together. Genuinely struggled to pinpoint the year here as people accuse it of happening either in 1989 or 1990, BUT there are two points to consider:

In that period, the Dakar rally usually happened in March (1988, 1989) and in 1990 it literally started on Christmas day. If you consider Alain had a limit to being a slag and he spent Christmas at home, that leaves 1988 and 1989 available only. From those two years, the F1 season started April 3rd in 1988, while in 1989 the first race happened on March 26th. While it looks like Alain would have more free time for Bernadette in 1988, he went to check their activities out in that year as you can see here:

Another point is that Sacha Prost was born on 30 May 1990, which means that Alain and his first wife, Anne-Marie must have been together at least until September 1989 for her to get pregnant. I'm not saying that it is completely impossible for him to have been caught, then forgiven by the lady wife, then they had a band-aid baby before deciding to separate for good but it is less likely than Alain and Bernadette being caught having an affair later than 1990 and the following separations ensuing. Therefore, I have to call bullshit on the Paris-Dakar story for now.

Either way, the fact is that Bernadette and Jacques officially divorced in 1992, also known as the year that Alain Prost spent out of F1. While Alain and Anne-Marie remained officially married until 2017, Alain and Bernadette started living together and had a child, Victoria, in 1996. 

According to Prostfan, they still live together in Switzerland, so at least there's that. And hey, time heals all wounds, as Alain and Jacques have occasionally mingled over the years after the whole deed was done.

Playing cards together on a train in 1998... Like girl Victoria was just two back then, I don't know how no one threw punches there.

A bit more "recent", 2013 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. That I can understand, it's been over 15 years at that point and they're both balding and grey by then. 

Was Nelson right? Yeah, probably. While no one can tell for certain, it's the one story that's passed around with more detail, so….

The Second Bride: Catherine Bleynie

So. This is a funny one. I mean, sort of, if you have a weird sense of humour.

It was April of 1982. Didier Pironi was, at the time, doing REALLY well. Professionally, he was at the top of the world, driving for Scuderia Ferrari, which is even better than winning as we all know. On a personal level, he was about to get married to his girlfriend, Catherine Bleynie. In fact, they were in a bit of a hurry, since Didier was about to race in a fortnight. Didier and Catherine didn't know it yet, but this was the end. Why? Because the race was in fact, the 1982 San Marino Grand Prix.

Catherine and Didier on their wedding day, 14 April 1982. I lack the explanation for the chef guard of honour. 

Just two weeks later, Pironi fought on track with Gilles Villeneuve and won the GP. He also fought with him off track, and Gilles swore never to talk to him again. He kept that promise alright, as he died in an accident during the qualifying for the next race, in Zolder. Needless to say, this was a bit of a headfuck to Didier who was forcibly linked to this disastrous turn of events for the rest of his life, even though he wasn't to blame for it (and neither Gilles, we've already been through this). Just a few months later, in August, it was Didier's turn to retire from the sport after an accident that almost had him need both legs amputated. Naturally, he was emotionally sensitive after going from championship frontrunner to retiree in less than a year, so he really relied on the support of his partner…. Véronique Jannot.

I? What?

Now, if you were paying attention, then you know that Didier had just got married in April, to Catherine. Yet, it's August and he's with a whole other woman doing covershoots about his accident. What happened?

Well, we have no clue. Streets say he cheated, streets say she cheated, but again, the French media sweeped it under the rug and all we know for sure is that by July of 1982, Didier and Catherine were on separate paths. In fact, Catherine was about to live lavish on the jetset, also featuring on many high society events and magazines with her boyfriend, French legend Alain…………………..

……… wait for it…………………

Delon.

ENOUGH!!!!!

I shit you not. Catherine's rebound guy was fucking Alain Delon, whom she dated for 3 years from 1985. Catherine and Alain weren't strangers, in fact they met 14 years prior when Catherine was a wee intern for a couturier who designed clothes for him. However, they only became friends after meeting again on a flight to Rio de Janeiro in 1982. Catherine was off to see Didier race while Alain was off for a festival with his then wife, Mireille Darc. Considering the three year gap and the fact Alain had another girlfriend before making it official with Catherine, it doesn't sound like he was responsible for the doom of the Pironis. However, it does make it hilarious imo as it means that Nelson Piquet mistook Alain Prost with Alain Delon. Like.

The two Alains together at the 1990 Japanese Grand Prix. In case you are confused, Alain Prost is on the left

Imagine being so Frenchphobic you think these guys are the same person somehow? Amazing. A clear L for Nelson Piquet on this one.

The Third Bride: Madame X

Two wives down, one to go. The reason I saved this one for last is that I just don't fucking know what happened here, ok? I don't even know the woman's name, let alone if they really banged or not! You see, Nelson Piquet claimed it was Gérard Larrousse's wife, but in some versions of the story it's a random untitled senior Renault executive who got cucked. 

Alain and the guy he supposedly cucked, Gérard Larrousse, during their Renault tenure

Here's what we know: Alain had already managed to get close to the WDC with Renault twice, getting to 4th place in 82 by only a 10 point difference to Keke Rosberg, the champion. Renault were the pioneers of turbo engines, but hadn't managed to master its reliability, which makes it even more astonishing that Alain still managed to contend for the championship when he had 16 DNFs in two seasons. When you consider that each season had 15/16 races back then, my guy literally had one full championship of retirements with Renault at that point.

Obviously, it was getting embarrassing and all parties vowed they wouldn't act like fools in 1983 and to be fair, they solved the reliability issue, for Alain at least. In fact, Prost was doing well in the lead, followed by Piquet and the two Ferraris (<3). This meant nothing to the team though, as inside the boxes the turmoil was so great that it led to Alain's Mercedes being burned at his home by Renault workers after he criticised the team. He ended up moving to Switzerland and got turned off the whole thing. Four races to the end, my guy crashed into Piquet while trying to overtake him in the Netherlands and the lead went down the drain with two turbo failures in two of the other races remaining, losing the championship to Nelson "Prost Whistleblower" Piquet himself.

As a good Frenchman would, Alain took the defeat with the grace of a giraffe walking on a slippery ice rank, and proceeded to talk shit to the press: 

The team was torn apart in every way. Instead of leaving it to competent men, the decisions were taken by the upper management [...] Renault did everything not to win the championship, because they were scared of winning anything at all. 

Damn. Who hurt you Alain ? 

To be fair to him, Renault had factually ran out of money to keep developing the car in 1983, according to Bernard Dudot, an engineer for the team at the time. Back then, Renault was fully in the ownership of the French government, the inventors of bureaucracy. So, while there was no budget cap and Renault was a constructor with an endless amount of cash in comparison to other teams, there was just no way to expand the budget in the middle of the season. Prost was sacked mere two days after his defeat in Kyalami and the sore comments were attributed as the official reason… but were they?

Dudot says that "The truth remains that he made some mistakes that contributed to our loss." The Holland accident is the key moment, but this doesn't take away from the fact the other two DNFs were mechanical failures and that he had only been out of points in three other races, spending most of the time on the podium. Like sure, he wasn't invested in Renault after getting his car burned but he was still very much down to win a championship and his form showed it. So the reason couldn't be individual mistakes because they were seldom there, especially knowing he lost the championship lead literally in the last race.

This brings us to the conspiracy theory that I mentioned at the start of this section. The lore is that Alain got caught banging the wife of then team principal Gérard Larrousse, who only didn't sack him then and there because it was the middle of the season. The story is still embellished, depending on the source, with the fact that this all supposedly went down during the 1983 Dutch Grand Prix and this is why Alain crashed into Piquet. He was such a pile of nerves he made an uncharacteristic mistake. Still, the story changes a lot and I've even seen claims that Alain screwed the wife of the Renault CEO at the time, so it genuinely sounds like an urban legend. Still, it is worth noticing that the people working in F1 are, first of all, major gossipers, so if Nelson was openly talking about it, it means at the very least that it's a Known Story in the paddock (or at least it was back then). So, while I can't say for sure it's true, I guess only the people involved can say for sure if it's false.

To conclude, did Alain Prost wreck three marriages as Nelson Piquet claimed? No, just one. Two, tops, but we lack enough information on this. As much as Alain fucks, he doesn't fuck that hard, he is just French. That's what they do. Either way, I needed to get this out of my chest so that I could forget about it for a bit. I'll keep looking for info on Gérard Larrousse's wife because this is the one we know the least about, if any of you have any info on the subject feel free to share with the class! In the meantime, screw you guys, I'm going home.

PS: Here's the video of Alain trying to bag a fourth wife, in the shape of Jean Alesi's then girlfriend in 1991:

I have to stan a man who isn't scared of his reputation!

#hyperfixation corner #alain prost #nelson piquet #<- this one is for the black list #fuck them racists! #I went insane but it was worth it because I got some old René Arnoux tea on the way so #this might be a peak shitpost truly

[pearwaldorf]

20 questions for fic writers

sorta tagged by @antivanruffles

How many works do you have on ao3?

130 excluding the the podfics I'm listed as a co-author on

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

230,000. I'm a very succinct writer!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently OFMD. I have written a lot of (in descending order) Star Wars sequel trilogy, Good Omens, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Critical Role, and MCU.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

we wore the jacket for the longest time (Star Wars ST, Finn/Poe/Rey, 3200)

well you laughed baby it's okay (it's buzzcut season anyways) (nsfw; Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, 1100)

human sacrifice and mass hysteria (nsfw, DA:I, Cullen/Dorian, 1080) This one has a weirdly long tail. I still get bursts of kudos on it every now and then.

balance theory (The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky foe yay, 660)

taste the stardust in my mouth (Star Wars ST, Finn/Poe/Rey, 560)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do not. I don't have enough energy to write and respond to comments, so I'm sure people would rather I write. They are all appreciated though <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

a knife on the things that held us together for sure. It sets up the rift between Han and Leia after Ben's attack on the Praxeum and it's the last time Leia sees her brother. I was so emotionally wiped by it I couldn't even think about writing for two weeks hahaha

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings, or at least hopeful ones.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

If I do nobody has ever told me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I'm not sure what "what kind" means.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written exactly one, the Will Graham/Aziraphale one (I swear it makes sense in context). ngl it's pretty weird. Plenty of AUs set in different universes though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have. Somebody plagiarized "but you laughed baby" beat for beat. When I confronted them about it they said they must have subconsciously regurgitated it. Binch, I had to reread my own fic to compare, don't give me that shit. (They deleted their entire account afterwards. I'm not sad.)

12. What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

Shortest is drabbles, and those take anywhere from 15-30 minutes. Longest? I still have a Mass Effect fic that I've been picking at on and off since 2012. I should just finish it up.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I refuse to pick.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Good Omens While You Were Sleeping AU is my only actual posted WIP. There are Reasons I tend not to post unfinished stuff.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm really good at nailing character voices and dialogue. I think I'm decent at striking a balance between pretty language and making sure it still moves things along. I have been told I'm very good at intimate character interaction.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

What the fuck is a plot?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Unless you're going for the half-remembered vocabulary because diaspora kid vibe (which I did in my Shang-Chi fic), get somebody fluent to translate for you. The amount of horrific Spanish I've seen in OFMD fic is... not good.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X2! I thought I was very clever making puns on "le petit mort" in a Rogue fic

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I have a series! I love the extremely weird ones I wrote just for myself that nobody else seems to like, although the Ed/Blackbeard/Stede one is an exception.

I am where memes go to die, so if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged.

#pear does a meme

[captainimfangirling]

The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 2 Review

Watched 6 episodes of The Summer I Turned Pretty season 2 thinking that was the seasonal finale. Didn't realize they are streaming it weekly. I was about to review how a shitty cliffhanger that was. lmao.

I ship Jelly Now (Warning: Minor Spoilers)

Anyway, I wasn't a big Jelly fan because I thought Jeremiah in season one was only into Belly because she turned pretty but season 2 changed my mind. The flashback when she was sick proved he started liking her. Yes his mom did make him stay with her but did you see the way he tried to touch her hand? That's a small hint. I also think he fell for her when she decided to stay with him instead when he got sick instead of going out.

The Vampire Diaries Comparison

I had no idea Gavin Casalegno played young Damon from Vampire Diaries but it makes sense because they both have those bright beautiful blue eyes. The more I think about it the more I started comparing the show to Vampire Diaries.

Belly: Elena

Jeremiah: Stefan

Conrad: Damon

Steven: Jeremy

Taylor: Bonnie

I swear the show reminds me of a Vampire Diaries fan fic I read years ago! Even the The Kissing Booth reminded me of a Vampire Diaries fan fic (I heard it actually was written on Wattpad).

Warning: Major Spoilers

I understand the point of view of the aunt but still I think she's a witch. I have rich cousins/aunts/uncles who never talk to me so I know what it feels like to feel like garbage but if I was in that situation I would at least give my nephews a chance to buy the house. I'm poor as hell and have a lot of issues but I'm not a monster. Yes I would gift them half the share of the house that belonged to their mother! If I don't have the money to maintain it I would give them the option of renting it out to others to make the money. There are so many possibilities but she doesn't care enough to try. It's revenge.

I feel like they're trying to make the aunt relatable saying oh she's the sad poor sister like us. No. Sorry she doesn't look poor at all. I would go as far to say that she's co dependent on her child. Skye tried to break way from it by going out with their cousins for the first time in years. The whole time Julia thought Skye hated the beach but it was actually Julia who hated the beach proves it because Skye was never given a chance to decide. I can imagine Skye never doing anything that interest them but instead doing whatever their mother was comfortable with.

At the end I actually agree with Conrad. Renting out the house for a week during the summer isn't good enough. All their mother's and family stuff would be gone and the owners stuff will be in it. It wouldn't be their house anymore. Julia is only doing it because she felt a tiny bit bad. If I was them I would've thrown the keys when she asked for them.

To be honest I wasn't a big fan of Taylor last season (nothing she did wrong I just wasn't feeling her) but I learned to love her. Maybe it's because we got more screen time with her this season. Steven is starting to grow on me too.

#the summer i turned pretty #Jelly #jeremiah fisher #belly conklin #conrad fisher

[ladytauria]

hey liv sorry in advance i am nosy

🍓🐇🧃🪐🍬🦷🦋🦴🪲

dont be sorry! i enjoy nosy uwu

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

hmm

i was 12. my favorite tv show at the time was this old disney cartoon, "super robot monkey team hyper force go" (abbreviated as SRMTHFG or SRMTHG. i prefer the first but plenty of people use the second.) it was canceled after its 4th season and, uh. the ending was SO bad. like, major major cliffhanger.

anyway, i was looking up... i don't even remember at the time. and i discovered deviantart, and i discovered this person's OCs. read a lot about them, including some fanfic, and then eventually discovered fanfiction.net

i didn't realize what it was at first; i thought it was just a writing in general site? and i was like oh! i can share the book i'm working on! (i have been trying to write a novel since i was 10). and then as i was looking into where i would post it, i realized what it actually was. (no, the title didn't give it away. idk why.)

so then i was like oh!!! this is really cool actually!!! and i wrote my first fanfic xD

that was in 2011? so i was 12, almost 13.

and i've been reading & writing fic ever since~

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

okay so this is a tough question

bc like

i love love love love love second person.

like.

*adore* it.

second person, present tense is my absolute fave, but past tense is good too. (i have written an entire sapphic little mermaid retelling [12k words i think] in second person. uh, it needs revisions but it's a full draft. i opened it it the other day and im still so proud of it uwu)

howEVER. outside of writing second person w/o ever explicitly naming the pov character i have not actually written a reader-insert? so for that reason alone i will have to say 'prefer writing oc's'

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

uhh

hm

i'm a chronic oversharer (mostly in the tags) so that's kind of tough!

ah! since my grandmother's memory issues started, i've been doing about half of the cooking (it's been a bit of a battle, as she keeps trying to do everything xD) and i've cooked a lot of new things this year!! i've gotten very good at cooking pork chops. which 🤔 now that i bring that up, i might make friday! or tonight, but they're still in the freezer, so...

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

my grandmother's memory situation has improved a lot!! it's still not great, but like. strides ahead of where we were 7-8 months ago!

my anxiety has been much kinder to me this year <3 i've made some very lovely friends this year~

mmm, oH, my energy levels have been fantastic this year. i didn't realize just how bad they had gotten until i started these new meds, and now i'm just. <333 much better.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

hm

idk if i have any unpopular opinions...? i mean. i'm sure i must, but... nothing immediately comes to mind ^^;

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

hmmm

recently been trying to get in the habit of summarizing what i want to do before i start writing. it makes the process much easier, if ik a bit about what i want to do before going in?

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

i am much better at being patient than i ever gave myself credit for in the past <3

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

i can't think of one piece in particular, as the places i find inspiration are. all over the board?

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

picked a wip from my open tabs at random! funnily enough this is also the one i ended up doing for the emoji ask xD

it's also almost triple what this asked for but once i started writing i couldn't stop <3

He swallows, staring up at Tim. Jason has had plenty of practice reading people through a domino, but. He has no reference for the look Tim is giving him now. Only that it— That the feeling it gives him is… is new and strange. He has no name for it, the way his stomach feels fluttery and tight, his scalp and fingers tingling. His mouth opens—but all that escapes is a stuttery puff of air. That’s okay. He doesn’t know what he was going to say anyway. Tim hooks a gloved finger under his chin; tipping his face up. He leans in, slowly—so slow that Jason— There’s nothing keeping him there. He could run. Turn away. But he feels caught, feet anchored in place. Tim’s mouth touches his, and all thought leaves him. Jason has never been kissed before.

[ writers truth or dare ask game ]

#ask gaming #felinemotif #asks and answers #tauriawritesfanfic #the color of hope (canary yellow)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, I was too busy yesterday to watch this episode, and today I have shit to do this evening, so I unfortunately can’t spend ages on the Taskmaster episode like I normally do. I normally do giant posts where I screenshot like half the episode, but that makes watching it take several hours, and unfortunately I do have a modicum of a life at this point. So I’ll still write down thoughts as I watch, but there will be fewer of them, and I won’t accompany them with screenshots, which should save a lot of time.

Anyway, I’m really excited for this episode either way. Thoughts on Taskmaster s15e04, written as I watch it:

- Excellent start. Alex’s horsefly pun got a proper laugh out of me, the Italy anecdote was exactly the sort Alex Horne-style “just drop this bit of talking into the air and pretend like it makes sense” that I enjoy, and then there was Hitchhiker’s Guide reference. And a fun prize category, with lots of room for different interpretations. Well done all around.

- That was way too short an exchange about Mae’s prize. Please tell me more about why they have a blowup doll of themself and think that would be fun to put on your head. I will be disappointed if we don’t get that in an outtake.

- Look, Frankie’s prize is not in a frame! It also has absolutely nothing to do with the remit, probably one of the most egregious examples ever of a constant just bringing in some shit they wanted to bring in even if it has nothing to do with the category. I wouldn’t have expected Frankie to play this any other way.

- More references to classic Britcom from my childhood, with Ivo Graham not messing around, bringing in something that perfectly fits the remit, a turkey. An item famous – famous worldwide, if we are to believe James Acaster’s Cold Lasagne claims about everyone in the whole world being into Mr. Bean – for being funny when it’s worn on a head even though you’re not supposed to wear it on your head. I didn’t know Friends did it too, though.

I mean, if I wanted to be pedantic, I could point out that a turkey on the head is funny to everyone else, but isn’t exactly a fun thing for the person wearing it. But I enjoy the joke enough to let that go.

- I swear I wrote the above point before I saw Frankie Boyle say “I don’t want to be too pedantic here, but…”, and then made pretty much that exact point. Not sure he has enough high ground for pedantry with his prize, but he’s got a point, as Ivo instantly admitted.

- Obsessed with the level of thought Jenny put into her pitch for her prize task, and the enthusiasm with which she delivered it. Also, I assume she didn’t make that herself, so did a member of production have to knit that? Was it the same person who made Jamali’s sweater?

- Absolutely wild over-scoring of Frankie Boyle there, what are you doing, Greg?

- I immediately love the instructions on that first task. That is so much fun. Like the season 8 bouncy ball task, but updated for a bigger budget. Too bad Frankie couldn’t find this thing during the “recreate musical instruments” task.

- Haven’t seen much of it yet, but my first thought is to take the drums and cymbals off their stands and put them all on the ground next to each other.

- Sort of like what I just watched Kiell do, but I feel like you could take it farther than that.

- Jenny, I would never call you a silly cow. I am really enjoying her energy.

- “You counted to seven but you only hit five” is somehow a problem Kiell has already had on this show, with the barge task. Why is Kiell not able to count to five?

- Okay, I’ve been calling the team of two “Franko”, but Alex got in his No More Jockeys reference by calling them “a big IF”, and I think I’m going to need to re-name the team to that from now on. Team Big IF.

- There, that thing Frankie’s doing, that’s what I’d do.

- Delightful to watch how much Frankie’s enjoying this. Ivo might be overthinking. I mean it’s amusing to include the Greg statue, and I do think overall Taskmaster has been underusing that thing, but it doesn’t really help.

- Honestly, I could watch Frankie Boyle drop a ball down a row of drums and then giggle all day.

- Ivo’s last idea would definitely be cheating, as it said one throw of a ball and of multiple balls at once, but it didn’t work anyway so it doesn’t really matter.

- Again, Drum March/April/Mae – solid pun. Alex is on form this episode.

- Love that Mae is not even pretending to not have watched all previous seasons and be using that for ideas. No messing around by trying lesser strategies and then coming up with this new one, just going straight for the Lou Sanders approach.

- Hang on. Hang on. What the hell are they arguing about in the studio? This precedent has been set. Okay, here are the wording of two different tasks:

Season 8 task: Bounce one of these balls so that it lands in that bin. After propelling the ball, you may not touch or strike it on its way to that bin. You must use the ball you touch first.

Season 15 task: Strike the most drum skins and cymbals with a single throw of a bouncy ball.        

In season 8, Lou Sanders had her attempt count when she tied it to string and bounced it over and over. Yeah, “propel” and “throw” are different words, but they’re close enough. They both involve releasing the ball and then not touching it again, which neither contestant did. That precedent is already on the books, this should definitely be a win for Mae.

- There, according to Alex, the definition for “throw” says “to propel”. Meaning “throw” and “propel” are the same thing, those tasks should be considered equivalent, the precedent should be considered relevant, therefore Mae wins.

- Okay, Kiell’s argument was bullshit, you can absolutely drop something and throw it at the same time, that’s just throwing it downward. Ivo’s masturbation joke was quite funny but irrelevant. Frankie… might sort of have a point with the “casting” thing, about whether the moment they jerked it backwards, the first throw was over. That could be up for debate, if this were five years ago. But it isn’t. Season 8 has aired, the precedent has been set. You have to honour the precedent!

- You are not letting them get away with anything, Greg, you let Lou Sanders get away with it already and if you didn’t allow this we’d have anarchy! But that was enormous fun, that whole exchange. I did say I wouldn’t screenshot the whole episode again, but Greg’s right, Kiell’s face is pretty good.

- Bridges for potatoes and boats for eggs. Ordering things with restrictions based on letters of the alphabet. I like that some of the tasks in this season feel like classic Taskmaster.

- What the fuck are you going to do with a golf ball, Kiell?

- Power of suggestion’s pretty strong here, isn’t it? They all hear the word “boat” and then three of the five choose B as their letter.

- Title drop from Kiell, and it’s a good one. He does seem to be bad at both basic counting and working out whether things are heavier than water/air, given the time he through he could move a golf ball by blowing on it.

- Look on Ivo’s face when he broke the egg was some solid comedy.

- Ivo’s studio banter has been strong all episode.

- Okay, I haven’t seen them all go yet but having seen them made, I think Mae had it the best. Frankie making it out of paper seems like a bad idea, what with water tending to compromise paper’s structural integrity. No idea what Jenny made, and I think she just wanted to be able to say “bra” a lot, which to be fair, was funny. Kiell’s balloon was a good idea, Ivo’s multiple balloons were better.

- Well, I was definitely wrong about Mae’s boat. But that was actually really good, I think that worked better than I expected. Nice little editing with the music over Mae’s boat at the end. That was an enjoyable watch. And my apologies to Frankie Boyle, I underestimated the power of a little plastic to protect the paper.

- Oh no! Oh no! I am glad my roommate’s still out of town because when they showed the egg fall, I may have involuntarily called out “Oh no, Frankie!” before realizing I was saying it out loud. Oh no, Frankie! It is possible that you do, after all, need more structural integrity than paper with a little plastic coating.

- Ah, well done. Greg pretending to let Frankie go just to fuck with Kiell. This is fun.

- I’m really enjoying how genuinely nervous Mae seems. Which might be a weird thing to say, it’s just a sign of their extreme competitiveness that they look constantly on edge, expecting some surprise, trying to look for any loopholes. Funny, also highly relatable. I mean, I realize I’m biased by Mae Martin being one of the most attractive people I have ever seen on a screen, but I think they’d be one of my favourites even if they weren’t that.

- Love that they put the task where Kiell has to drag a bin full of water right after the egg boat task. How heavy is the water now, Kiell?

- Kiell is not wearing shoes, guys.

- I’m absolutely fine. I mean, I just thought the words “Damn, Mae scrambling to do math in their head is hot”, and then wondered if I should write those words down, and decided I will. But I’m doing fine.

- The obvious thing to do with bubble wrap is to rip off one bubble, put it to the side, and then crush the rest all at once with a book or something, right?

- Oh my God they took twenty minutes on the bubble wrap. Meticulous Mae. I love them.

- I’m not sure the banana sign is the same as a banana, is it?

- Could have been just editing that made it look this way, but I love that it appears that Frankie instantly knocked the bin over to spill the water on the ground, after Kiell had tried to carefully empty it into the bath.

- And then Frankie forgets that he can open the gates instead of trying to throw a large bin over them. Nice.

- Jenny shouting in all four rooms of the house had some strong “essence of Taskmaster” energy.

- The John part is pretty funny, seeing how long it takes them to work out that they have to call someone and John isn’t just in the house.

- Oh, it took me a moment to realize Frankie was burning the bubble wrap to complete the tasks. I thought he’d already popped all the bubble wrap so his task was completed, and he was so annoyed about what he’d had to do that he gathered up all the tasks, put them in a bucket, and burned them for no reason.

- Glad Frankie Boyle got to set some shit on fire, though. I always say people don’t realize there’s a strong intelligent and well read and thoughtful and politically informed side to Frankie, he’s not just what you see on Mock the Week compilations! But, you know, if you’re going to get Frankie Boyle on Taskmaster, you want to have a bit of bringing in pornography and setting shit on fire. I hope all five of them set some shit on fire this season.

- Okay, one screenshot and that is it for the whole episode. I just… I just need to take that picture of Mae Martin being petty about the definition of “throw”, and then coyly acknowledging the hypocrisy. For personal reasons, I need to show people that image.

- Really enjoyed Greg and Frankie yelling at each other about the definition of a banana. And I want Frankie and Jenny to be right, I really do. But a sign that says “banana” is not, in fact, a banana.

- Well, that whole sequence with Ivo was brilliant. He seemed to figure out that you’re allowed to pass on a task that’ll take too long, which could have been a smart strategy, if it weren’t for the fact that he had a complete breakdown and did every singe thing wrong. Mistaking the caravan for the shed is classic. Also forgot that the gate opens. I’m remembering what Nish Kumar said on the podcast before this season, that he thinks it’ll be fun to watch because he knows that Ivo Graham falls to pieces as soon as anyone puts the slightest bit of pressure on him. That was very funny all around.

- Really enjoyed the live task, too. Kiell trying fancy things, Frankie seeming to genuinely get into the art therapy side of it, Mae playing it too safe and meticulous, the look on Jenny’s face when she broke the stream for a second. And Ivo just had a solid strategy. Well done.

- Well, obviously I wrote that before I saw the ending. Good stuff. Classic Taskmaster. I do love it when they stick to the rules to the point of making it a ludicrous result. Also really enjoyed Frankie’s petty comment about the episode being  a journey through language and meaning – he’s had a few of those throughout this episode, seeming to be fine with outcomes but then bringing it back later to complain. Which I also enjoy. I love some pettiness in a Taskmaster contestant.

- Aw, Jenny Eclair won an episode! A good one for her to win, too, as she seems like the one who’d have the most fun putting things on her head.

- Good stuff, I really really enjoyed that, and this is by far the fastest I’ve ever done one of these Taskmaster liveblog posts. Great episode, great season, I would watch Frankie Boyle narrate literally anything, did I mention how hot Mae Martin is enough times? Okay I have to go do actual things now, but that was a really good one, best episode of the season so far, I think.

[highaver]

anyway here's a quick run down of some things you might have seen actor bal in! aside from some bit parts in a number of long-running tv shows and movies & etc, these are some of his bigger projects.

The River Dragon (2006, film) - He's thirteen/fourteen in this movie and I do in fact need you to bully him about him being a baby. Balfour plays Halfdan, a young boy from the Danelaw who befriends a dragon in the River Ouse. There was a period of time where they played this yearly in that weird between-Christmas-and-end-of-year period, and it's based on a beloved children's book.

Other Lives (2007-9, tv) - A recurring role in this drama, Balfour played Jamie Wilson, the troubled son of one of the main characters. His character got killed off after three years of variously stupid plots because he was the designated Cautionary Tale Character and, honestly, he was glad to see the back of this one. It was not good. But he did get to go to Newcastle to film it, and he enjoyed that.

The Veil of Time (2012, film) - Balfour played the supporting role of Gregory, a young man from 18th century Derbyshire who was killed in mysterious circumstances. His story becomes the obsession of the main character of the film, Eva, while she's visiting the stately home in which he was killed. He got some recognition for this one on the back of a very solid performance.

The Prizefighter (2013, tv) - This is about the time when he was like "oh, I'm a period drama guy, I do period dramas". Set in the 1920s, he plays Adam Flynn, the brother of main character Amelia, who is in love with the titular prizefighter. He's a horrible, awful dude in this one and the feedback he receives the most is "wow, I was so glad when you died!" It wasn't great but it did get multiple seasons after he was written out, so whatever.

The Dead Water (2015, tv) - Balfour plays Ned Braithwaite in this tense murder mystery about a late-nineteenth century merchant ship crew. Notable for: how cosy he looks in the costumes, his curls, one particularly intense interrogation scene and the fact that the final scene of the first season leaves his character's fate entirely ambiguous. Is he dead? Does he get back home? Who knows, this show got cancelled after one season because nobody watched it and now you're going to stumble across it years later and be desperate to know what was meant to happen in season two.

Run Wild (2019, film) - His comeback project! Balfour plays Scott Miller, a Mancunian country musician in a band trying to hold itself together while the relationship at its centre falls apart. He was required to sing and play music for this film, which led to him learning how to play both the harmonica and banjo. It's his finest film yet, and he was praised for a strong start to his return to what had previously been a very, very mixed career. There was also a lot of speculation around the bts of this film as to whether he had a fling with Alfie Hoult, who was one of the duo of musicians who worked on the music, on social media. I personally would not blame you for falling in love with him a little bit in this movie.

The Highwayman (2020, film) - Uh oh, they've realised he can sing! In this R.obin H.ood retelling, set in the 18th century, Balfour plays A.lan-a-Dale and, boy, they sure do make him sing. He's playing someone from Lancashire and his accent has been perfected, thank you. This film isn't his best but was pretty decent. It's not the worst adaptation out there. The bar is low, but a solid character-first plot can get you a long way.

The G.reat B.ritish B.ake Off (2020, tv) - A charity episode that will go down in history. Balfour burned everything he tried to make except for some brownies, broke his oven, burned his hand and spent half of his time getting bleeped for swearing. There is more than one supercut of his disaster episode online. He spent most of it with his head in his hands going "why did I do this, why did any of you let me do this" but, don't worry, it was for the bit.

Wild Hunt (2021, film) - Balfour plays William, a 15th century farmer from Yorkshire who is haunted by spectral hounds. Full-on folk horror, came out in October and got a whole lot of attention, least of all for the fact that he's in every single shot and is pretty much carrying the whole thing himself. He's spoken a lot about how emotionally exhausting it was to film, but he's very proud of it. It's definitely not a film for the squeamish.

Peaked (2022, tv) - A limited series romcom. Balfour plays Joe, a handsome baker who falls for a thief, Marcus, who just pulled off the heist of the century and has decided to lay low in the Peak District until it all blows over. It's modern, for once, and a role where he actually just gets to be goofy and cute. You probably heard about it on social media because it's gay and he takes his shirt off a lot.

Herald (2023-, tv) - A drama/thriller about an investigative journalist, Alyssa Roydon, who uncovers a political scandal. Balfour plays Lucas Niven, a rival journalist with whom Roydon develops a toxic romantic relationship. Season one was highly regarded and one of the most watched programmes on television that year. Season two is set to begin in mid-2024 and is more organised crime-oriented.

Hare Spell (2024, film) - A folk horror/thriller about an accusation of witchcraft that tears an isolated village apart in 17th century Scotland. Balfour plays Thomas Kerr, the husband of Janet, the accused woman. It releases in early 2024 and reviews very well. He is very much back to breaking hearts and performing at his best in this one.

#hc. #hc. modern.

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

#sprite said #sprite's plan #wip update #status report

[omophagic-beast]

alright lets talk ttrpg goals for 2023! this post is about games im writing that i want to finish this year, ill make another one for games i want to play in 2023.

i have. so many half finished games. in fact i even have several games that are written!! they just need to be laid out and put out there. so heres the goals and the order for said goals

1- Record Collection 2K23, and the yet-unnamed game for it that ive been writing up over the past few weeks. part tarot-driven game, part... play? there’s stage directions in there in any case

its based off the four wind albums by the Oh Hellos, later on the two characters in the play only talk to eachother via lyrics from each album, moving through the seasons as they move through their story.

ofc i want to finish this one during the jam, which means by the end of january. very much pushing myself to just Get It Out There and not worry so much about it being exactly what i want, because i can always come back and update it later. its horribly (affectionate) self indulgent already so to b clear i am writing this game for Me, so the only person who needs to like it at any point is Me :3

2- There Is An Anger Inside Of You. ive been noodling at this game for over a year now, with the creation date on the word doc being may of 2021. its done!!! its finished, i swear to god, i just need to lay it out, and i already know how im going to do that i just need to *grabs myself by the shoulders* fucking do it

its a game about being angry when youre not able to express it, the struggle of keeping your anger under wraps being played out as a rather unfair game of chess. and i am going to get it out by the end of february.

3- The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused, a hack of For The Queen based on the short story The Lady or The Tiger. its another one that is currently completely written out, but rather than laying it out and getting it out there my goal with this one is to get it formatted for playtesting. its a three player game, players taking on the role of either The Lady, The Tiger, or The Accused, and answering the prompts as such. i really love it, but it needs to be played by people and revised before ill feel comfortable declaring it finished.

also, i want to actually crowdfund and print this one, with art and editing and maybe some pretty extras and such. so my goal is to start playtesting it by my birthday, the 17th of march. after that... im not sure! crowdfunding it by the end of the year would be wild i think, since, in true For The Queen style, id love to get a gaggle of artists to draw Princess cards for it, and that takes time! so the goal is more to have it ready for crowdfunding by the end of this year, and if that happens sooner then thats cool and good!

4- Someones Simple Book of Spells Volume One: Paper. This one is also FULLY WRITTEN *sounds of agony in the distance* i just need to LAY IT OUT

and honestly since i already know how i want to lay it out lets put this one for the end of april. yes this is pretty much a game a month for the next bit but theyre all SO CLOSEEEE to being done anyways its just that final push, i could accomplish most of these goals in a weekend if i just did it so. im going to!! do it!!!

5- ok finally, one thats actually not almost finished, its The Center of the Known Universe. a small anthology of games originally started for the weird west jam but never finished.

its got some of my favorite concepts ive ever thought of though, a game about aliens freezing time in a small western town and LARPing as cowboys, two wild west wizards battling it out at high noon, a game about supernatural cowboys falling in love while experiencing all the seasons of the desert, and more. its a love letter to the small desert town i currently live in, and i want to see it come into being. im going to give myself the summer for this, lets say the goal is to have the full first draft written by september. i also would love for this one to go into print, so a secondary goal is to have it ready to crowdfund in time for ZineMonth 2024, so february of next year.

i think thats probably all the projects i can set goals for this year, october-december is always very busy for me so im not gonna set anything besides the two i want to get ready for crowdfunding in 2024, though i do have several other half written games lying about (looks nervously at my over-4000 word “ttrpg ideas” doc).

maybe ill get into the swing of actually finishing games and get to them as well! but if not thats just fine :3

you can always find all my games over on the Grey Jay Games itch.io page, and i may make a sideblog just for GJG, but for the moment all game news and stuff from me will be right here @resident-corvid​

#corvid caws #indie ttrpgs #also who knows #trying to crowdfund two things in 2024 might be a wild thing to try and do #cause running crowdfunding projects is Hard #but at the least id like to have those two ready so i could potentially crowdfund both in 2024 #and at the very very least the overall goal is to just SLAP SOME STUFF UP ON ITCH #number one goal above all else #GET IT THE FUCK UP THERE #njsdkbhjbgd #its going to be great #im excited

[reidsaurora]

"Stick Season" ~ S. Reid

Summary: After eight months in quarantine, Spencer Reid takes a look at just how much the world has changed. The one thing that hasn't changed? The love he had for Y/N.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2,777

Content Warning: lots of COVID talk, heavy marijuana usage, mild and explicit swearing, alcohol consumption, mild mentions of food

Genre: Angst w/o happy ending

Extra Notes: shoutout to my ex bestie for popping up on my fyp and making me sad again. because of that i was able to finally finish writing this fic <3

Based On the Song: Stick Season by Noah Kahan

Takes Place: around October of 2020

Originally Written: between 07/08/2022 and 07/13/2022

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

"𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟." - 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧

[ Spencer's POV ]

"That was a very good session, Spencer," my therapist said as we stood. I couldn't lie, I was internally looking forward to getting away from that blue velvet couch and out to my car. "You remember what I said?"

I nodded, giving her a half-smile. "Take some time off work and try to find a new hobby to distract myself."

She smiled back at me. "Wow, that eidetic memory is showing off today. You just quoted me word-for-word."

I forced a chuckle out to appease her before heading out of her office and heading to the desk to pay. I stayed mostly silent as I paid, trying to focus on the idea of heading to my "safe place" as Dr. Barnett referred to it.

Almost as quickly as I drove away from Dr. Barnett's office, I pulled into my favorite spot—a clearing in Great Falls Park that overlooked the River—my safe place.

My mind wandered as I rolled down the windows and turned the car off. I considered the reason my mind was in this state in the first place. I thought about the anger I had over the situation, but mostly, I thought about how I was to blame for it.

I thought about Dr. Barnett's words. "Try to find a new hobby to distract yourself."

My eyes wandered to the glove compartment. Was I really about to do it?

Apparently, the answer was yes, seeing as the next thing I knew, I was holding a lighter in one hand and a joint in the other. I thought to myself as I lit it. "It's probably not too potent since it's been sitting in here."

I took a hit, almost immediately feeling the effects. My mind attempted to chill out as I took in the smell. I watched the smoke roll out of the cracked windows, almost jealous that it could just fly away so easily.

"Take some time off work." Kinda hard to do that when there's COVID on the planes, Dr. Barnett.

Suddenly, I remembered New Year's Eve in 2019—the words she had said to me.

Y/N took another hit of the blunt she was smoking. "You know," she giggled, "I feel like 2020 is gonna be our year."

I smirked with a chuckle. "How so?" I slurred.

She hiccuped with a giggle. "First of all, how much have you had?" she asked, lying her head back on my lap.

I chuckled as I ran my hand through her slightly tangled hair. "Weed or beer?"

She let out a long string of laughs as she continued on with her first statement. "Anyway, I feel like 2020 is gonna be a good one."

"Why is that?"

"Because I'm gonna have you there by my side. You're gonna be my forever. No matter what happens."

"No matter what happens," I chuckled to myself. "How easily a pandemic can change things."

I pondered how three months could make something so strong break so easily. I supposed that the bond we'd had was more fragile than I thought.

My thoughts were interrupted by the pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windshield.

I hated rain. I loved it before, when I had someone to keep me company while it poured down outside. I used to love the smell, the way it made the air feel fresh. After her, it just smelled like disappointment and loneliness. But mostly, I hated the rain because I could see the silhouette of the person I loved most in every drop of water that splashed onto the ground.

I locked my eyes on my cell phone for a minute. For a whole sixty seconds, I contemplated the outcome of what would happen if she were to answer. I pondered what I'd say, what she would say.

I took a deep breath as I unlocked my phone, taking another sixty seconds to stare at her contact information. Most of it was spent looking over her contact photo—a picture Penelope had taken of us when we went on a double date in Capitol Hill.

She'd said it then, too—how she'd wanted to be my forever.

"You know, I hate stick season," Y/N commented as we walked through the Hill.

"Stick season?" Penelope asked.

"Yeah, you know, when all the trees are dead but the snow hasn't fallen yet," she explained.

I laughed as I threw my arm over her shoulders. "I thought stick season was a Vermont thing."

"Uh, hello?" she said sarcastically. "We're surrounded by all these dead trees. And I don't see any snow."

I chuckled before kissing her on the cheek. "I suppose you're right."

"Awww," Penelope gushed, her gloved hands shooting up to her cheeks.

Luke pointed at his opened mouth, pretending to gag, which earned him a playful slap from Penelope.

"Oh, shut it, newbie," she joked.

"Newbie? Penelope, I've been-"

"I don't care," she said. She turned back to face me and Y/N before exclaiming, "Ooh! I wanna get a picture of you guys."

"Pen," Y/N groaned. "I look awful."

"Nonsense, you look beautiful," I told her, kissing her on the lips this time.

A bright flash lit up as I kissed her—I should've known Penelope would take full advantage of getting a candid photo.

"Look!" she squealed, showing the two of us her picture.

Y/N smiled up at me before wrapping her arms around my middle and leaving a kiss on my jaw. "Just think, we're gonna get to look back at this picture forever."

I grinned down at her, showing off every tooth in my mouth. "Forever?"

"Forever."

Forever… I guess forever isn't as long as it seems sometimes.

I took another hit as I pressed the call button. I wasn't expecting her to pick up, she never did. But sometimes, her voicemail was just enough to make me feel like I was conversing with her again.

Beeeep!

"You've reached Y/N Y/L/N. I can't come to the phone right now, but I'd love to call you back later! In the meantime, you can just leave something in my voicemail box! Talk to ya soon!" the recording spoke, her voice as peppy and excited as ever.

"Hey," I started, "I know there's probably a number of reasons you aren't answering but I figured I'd try again," I said, finishing my statement with a chuckle.

I took a second to look myself over—the joint in my hand, the teardrops on my shirt. "You know, I've been seeing a therapist ever since the stay-at-home ordinance was lifted. I say that because… because I wanna tell you about something she's been teaching me lately."

I took a deep breath in, inhaling the smell of cannabis. "She told me to look at everything as an analogy for something else. This week, she used a boat for her analogy. But for my analogy, I have another idea. It's similar so it won't be too confusing," I told her. "I've been looking at our relationship like this: you're driving a car. A-and the highway is like our past. Well, you continue driving and there's an exit, or you can keep going straight. Now, the exit… the exit represents me. The straight of way represents you."

I paused, even I was trying to figure out where this was going. "I guess… I guess what I'm trying to say is that you kept on driving straight and you left our future to the right—you drove past the exit."

I waited for a few seconds, almost like I was waiting on her to somehow reply. I continued on, chuckling for a moment. "You know, my therapist told me I should take up a new hobby. I wonder what she'd say if she found out I was taking up an old hobby—one that I always did with you."

I thought back to that night—the one at Capitol Hill. I remembered how it had smelled like rain that night. I remembered all the sticks and branches that had fallen from the dead trees.

"You know, it's almost stick season again. I wonder if this stick season'll be different from the last. You know, last stick season, you were calling me forever. This stick season, you can't even call me back."

I thought about earlier, that feeling of guilt immediately returning as I did so. "I'm sure you know about the five stages of grief. I think I'm stuck somewhere between anger and bargaining—that's the one filled with shame," I said with a sigh. "I'm stuck between anger and all this blame I don't wanna face."

"You know, I saw your mom recently. I wondered if she told you about it, but I don't think she recognized me," I randomly remembered. I let out a long string of snickers before continuing, "I didn't realize how easy it was to forget someone existed."

I sighed again, knowing I needed to wrap things up. "I guess I said all that to say… I feel like I'm split in half. The problem is that…" I hesitated, taking a nervous gulp, "My other half was you."

As I hung up, I considered everything that happened—how much of it was my fault, how much was hers. As I thought, I realized I couldn't figure out what the true reason for our breakup was.

Maybe it was some form of mistrust, like the fear that our relationship wouldn't withstand a pandemic. Maybe it was the lack of compromise, like how we'd argued about whose place we'd quarantine at, because we couldn't possibly force the other to move away from their apartment. Maybe it was just simply that we were morphing, growing into different people than we were when we met.

All I knew after that afternoon was this: memories are something that even smoking weed cannot replace.

☆☆☆

After a couple hours had passed and I'd mostly came down from my high, I sped off to my second safe place, my apartment.

Sure, there were times it didn't feel like a safe place, like when my memories replayed over and over in my mind. Like when all I could focus on was the sight of Y/N slowly fading away from my grip.

I walked into the lobby of my building, my jaw nearly dropping at the sight of the person standing beside the elevator.

"We need to talk."

"Really? The first time we've talked in seven months and the first thing you say is, 'We need to talk,'?" I thought to myself.

Instead, I just gulped and followed her to the elevator, my stomach churning at this confrontation.

I took her in for a split second as we stood in silence, noting how beautiful her face was, even when it was hidden behind a mask. Her hair was different—she'd succumbed to the quarantine trend of dyeing your hair. Additionally, she must've fallen to the trend of making banana bread, seeing as she smelled like freshly-baked bread.

As I unlocked my apartment, I took a couple deep breaths. I attempted to prepare myself for whatever Y/N had to say to me, but it was useless—the more I thought, the more anxious I became.

She watched as I nervously sat down on the couch. I wanted to ask her to sit with me, but I could tell by the anger in her body language that it would just ignite an argument even faster.

"We need to talk," she reiterated.

I wanted to point out that she'd already said that, but held my tongue. Instead, I inquired, "About what?"

She scoffed. "About what?" she practically mocked. "I don't know, Spencer. Maybe the fact that you refuse to stop calling me. Maybe the fact that you decided, this time, it would be a great idea to get high and then call me. There's a lot of things we need to talk about."

My heart sank into the depths of my chest. "I'm sorry about that," I managed, looking away from her. I didn't mean it, though. I wanted her back, and if blowing her phone up was the only way to show her that, then so be it.

"Are you?"

My mouth scrunched sadly as I slowly shook my head. I felt myself on the brink of crying when I looked back up at her.

"Spencer," she said sympathetically, sitting down beside me, "I know this is hard. Quarantine and COVID and us breaking up. It hasn't been easy on me either."

"Then why was it so easy for you to move on?"

She looked dumbstruck that I'd said this, and to be honest, I was too.

"It was by no means easy. I-"

"You left after two weeks of quarantine. Y/N, I didn't know what was gonna happen. Either one of us could've died. Hell, we could still die. I didn't wanna go through that alone."

"Spencer, I couldn't take it. You were changing. I was changing. It was different than it was before."

I jumped up defensively. "Hell yeah, it was different than before. But I've changed since then. I can change for you, if that's what you want."

"That's the whole reason this didn't and still won't work. I don't-"

"Wait, won't?" My heart felt like it had entered my toes. I wasn't even sure how it was possible, but my entire body began aching from the sting of her words. Won't.

She stood up, giving me a look almost as sympathetic as the tone she'd used earlier. This time, I was dumbstruck. How could she look at me like that after saying the words I needed to hear the least?

"You couldn't possibly think I was here to take you back, did you?" she questioned, folding her arms in front of her chest.

My face fell as I avoided eye contact with her again. "I guess part of me was hoping for it. I wasn't expecting it, but I was hoping for it."

I looked back up, even if just to see her reaction. Her body language was strange, almost unreadable. But the part that was readable was… almost apologetic.

"I promise I can change," I reiterated. "If the pandemic has taught me one thing, it's that we aren't always given tomorrow. If this were to be my last day on earth, I don't want it to be spent sulking because I couldn't win back the love of my life."

She looked at me, tears welling in her eyes. "I don't want it to be spent making a decision I might regret if it wasn't my last day on earth."

Her words twisted through my heart like a knife, like a dagger digging through the front of my chest and out of my back.

She walked toward the door, but I stopped her with a question. "Can I at least get a goodbye kiss this time?"

She swallowed hard but walked back over to me. It felt like the world stopped spinning when her lips collided with mine again. Every feeling I'd had eight months ago—right before the downfall—came right back to me. The skin of her lips felt the same, the smell of her perfume smelled the same, and the love I'd had for her from the very moment our lips met for the first time remained the same.

As she let go, I searched for something to say—something to stop her from leaving, to stop her from merely becoming tire tracks when she inevitably sped away.

As she opened the door, I panicked, knowing I couldn't think of anything more to tell her.

The door nearly clicked behind her, much like the shoes she was wearing clicked under her feet.

"Give me a year."

She turned around and faced me, a feeling of something near regret coming upon her. "What?"

"Give me one year. Three hundred and sixty-five fucking days. You don't have to see me in that time. You don't even have to think about me in that time. Just give me three hundred and sixty-five days to prove to you that I can be the person you need me to be."

For a moment, she looked as though she'd consider it. "Give me three hundred and sixty-five days to consider whether or not you deserve it."

And with that, she closed the door behind her. I couldn't decide if my heart was on the floor or in my hands.

I did know this: I'd spend each night like I had for the past seven months—dreaming of some version of her that I might not have had, but that I hadn't lost. And if I had to dream of that version of her until the next stick season, it'd just have to do.

"𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐨, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝." - 𝐄. 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐧

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Guys, I am sooooo excited to finally share this with you guys!!

I was working so so hard to get this up for you guys last week but I am super glad I waited because when I took my time, I got this lovely piece of literature!

Anyway, I do want to apologize for not posting last week. I am working hard to write some things in advance so that this doesn't happen as often! Thank you guys for understanding ❤️

But yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed! LMK if you guys want more of these angsty ones or open endings! I want to challenge myself as much as possible!

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

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[gatheringfiki]

The following ficlet was written by @2shuang based on this photoset.

Britchell, E.

You might also be able to read this story on AO3.

If you’ve enjoyed this story, please leave a comment either in replies or on AO3. :)

When you pinch up a little fox

---

    It was a colder winter than usual.

  George complained in Mitchell's cabin. Every full moon since winter had become more torturous, because no one, not even a werewolf, could stand to lie naked in the snow at -2℃.

  "I'll have your paracetamol ready." said the vampire, taking two cans of beer from George's backpack.

  "I knew you wouldn't give up your house." The werewolf rolled his eyes.

  "Or else? Am I gonna sleep in a tree?" Mitchell shrugged.

  "You can come back, with us," George said. "...sleep on the couch." George and Annie didn't leave his room when they moved into the new house, given that the brunet had decided to settle in New Zealand with his boyfriend a few years ago.

  The vampire just shook his head. "It's not bad here."

  George sighed. Two years ago, Mitchell suddenly moved back to Bristol, into an abandoned cabin in the mountain. From then on, the vampire was completely cut off from the human world and no longer talked about "being human". He would come every month to bring something to Mitchell and spend his night in the woods. Annie would come too, usually at a different time to him, but sometimes together.

  When Mitchell first came back, he was so bad they were afraid to ask what had happened in New Zealand. It was about six months before they found out. Anders was dead.

  After chatting until it was late, Mitchell abruptly got up and headed for the door.

  "Where are you going?"

  "Get a tree."

  Mitchell, of course, didn't actually go look for a tree. Instead, under the moonlight, he walked aimlessly through the woods among the insects, soft snow and dry branches squeaking under his boots. Then, just as he was hesitating about whether he should stroll all night or find a place to rest, suddenly, a furry tail came into view.

  It was a little fox sleeping in the dead grass against the roots of a tree. This season, foxes should have a cave to shelter them from the cold. Mitchell surmised that other animals had robbed it of its den and had had to improvise a place to rest. The fox was wrapped in its big golden red tail, with some snow on its fur, like a thin layer of icing on a cupcake. They were probably blown down from the trees by the night wind after it fell asleep.

  Mitchell looked at it quizzically, wondering how the supposedly alert little creature could not even react when he walked in. But looking at its regularly undulating back, it was not dead, really sleeping.

  Unable to say his motive, the vampire took his coat off and covered the little one's cold, damp fur——the vampire wouldn't have felt cold anyway. Before leaving, he even stroked its soft ears.

    ---

    The little fox had a warm dream of sweet Christmas wine, gift boxes wrapped in coloured paper and cool hugs in the middle of summer. It twitched its ears and instinctively tucked the head under the warm jacket, which, from a distance, looked like a piece of clothing discarded to the roots of a tree. After a long wolf howl, at midnight, the small mass of clothing suddenly stirred, but the creature didn't even open its eyes; it just licked the tip of its tail half-asleep and went back to sleep.

    ---

    When Mitchell returned to his cabin, George was cleaning up the mess he had left behind.

  The vampire folded his arms and looked at his friend, who was trying to restore the bed to its original shape from shattered planks, frowning. "Is this really not a plot by you and Annie?" He knew they'd been trying to get him back to live with them.

  "I swear, no." The werewolf looked a little guilty. Afterwards, as if something had occurred to him, he suddenly stepped out of the room and carried a huge package out of the trunk of the car parked outside. He set it down in front of the vampire and patted it, "At least, you'll have enough quilts to hit the floor until your bed is fixed."

  Mitchell looked like he was about to bite him right off.

  “And an air mattress?”

  Before the vampire strode over to turn him into breakfast, George reached out and stopped him. "I'll fix it!" he said.

  The vampire paused for a second and kept pressing closer.

  "I'll buy you a new one! Delivery!" George shouted, and after a few quick taps on his phone, turned the screen towards Mitchell, "Er, in three days."

  Mitchell rolled his eyes at him, then turned to rummage through the huge package and pulled out a cashmere blanket. Obviously, it was put by Annie. Even though a vampire didn't need it, she always prepared things for him as if he were a human.

  As Mitchell headed out with the blanket, the werewolf called out from behind, "Aren't you going to help me clean up?"

  “I saw a stray fox in the woods last night.”

  "So?"

  "Go make sure it survives this winter," Mitchell said, waving his blanket.

    ---

  In the morning light, the golden fox slowly woke up, surrounded by a familiar smell that confused it as to where exactly it was. Then, suddenly, its tiny head out from the clothes, and then looked around in confusion——a lifeless woods.

  Just when it thought the smell was only from its dream, the clothes sliding off its back made it freeze.

  The little fox hastily pulled its tail out of the jacket and turned around to stare at it in disbelief. A long time later, it abruptly whimpered, arching its head against the edge of the shirt, trying to re-buried itself back into it.

  Mitchell.

  After several times failing, the little fox's bark became irritated. It pressed its nose to the coat and sniffed it again, and the paws scratched hard at the ground. Then it nipped at a corner of the clothes, trying to drag it away.

  He had never been out of the woods before and was afraid to wander around. Because he had heard the hunter's gun, and the dying howls followed it. He had been waiting for his second birthday when a skinchanger could transform, so all he had to do until he was two was to protect himself in this forest. After all, who knows if he'll turn into a real fox or rabbit next life.

  But the realisation that "Mitchell was nearby" made him lose all patience.

  The little fox struggled to drag the coat, but after only two meters, he had to stop. The creature looked back at it in frustration, grumbling about why the vampire had bought such a heavy jacket! If he had kept dragging it like this, he might not have been able to get out of the woods until the winter was over.

  With one last look at it, the little fox wagged his tail, turned, and ran ahead. He could bring Mitchell back to pick it up when he found him.

  Although the it had never been out of the woods before, luckily, it was not far from the vampire's cabin. It ran as fast as it could along the footprints in the snow, leaving numerous tiny paw prints in the vampire's.

  However, not long after the run, the snow on the ground gradually disappeared. Under the sunshine, it trampled on the muddy wet ground, looking around and finally picking a direction by intuition.

    ---

    Mitchell had forgotten which road he had taken last night and could only go into the woods as he remembered it. In fact, he was not even sure if the pretty creature would still be where it was. It might have gone somewhere else after waking up, but he still had to look for, or at least get his clothes back.

  And when the brunet finally took a few detours to find his clothes, the fox had long disappeared. Only his clothes were left alone.

  Mitchell picked up the jacket and put the blanket down.

  Hope the stray fox will be smart enough to pick it away instead of leaving the blanket that could keep it warm over the winter like a scrap. 

  Before leaving, the vampire noticed two rows of footprints in the other direction, one belonging to him—it was only then that Mitchell realised that he had taken a much longer route—and the other apparently belonging to a little fox.

  Mitchell followed the overlapping footprints. He thought perhaps he could find the little fox with the pretty tail.

    ---

    When a cabin finally came into view, the little creature excitedly chased its tail in two circles before continuing to run towards it. But it had not run to the front of the cabin; an unfamiliar figure appeared suddenly, walking towards the door. The little fox swished to the side of the wheel and peered out cautiously to observe.

  The man wasn't Mitchell. And he didn't want to break into a hunter's house by mistake and then be shot and sold.

  It waited for a long time before waiting for the man to come out of the house.

  George?

  He had seen him in Mitchell's Skype with him, and the vampire would always mention this friend, a werewolf. It occurred to the little fox that last night had been a full moon, and he did seem to have heard a wolf howling in his sleep.

  So, this cabin was actually George’s place for the full moon. So maybe it’s George who took the clothes into the woods too... It ran back into the woods before the werewolves found him. Although he did not see his vampire, at least he found George! So, all he has to do now is retrieve Mitchell’s clothes first, then sneak into the cabin and wait for his transformation in half a month. Next, he can wait for the good-natured werewolf on the next full moon without worrying about...

  !

  A sudden sharp pain in its hind leg abruptly interrupted the little fox’s thoughts.

  The little one looked at the trap on his hind legs and let out a desperate, mournful wail.

    ---

    Mitchell looked at the disappearing footprints, then at the blinding sunlight overhead, and sighed.

  Maybe he wouldn't be able to find that fox after all. He thought. He didn't know where his inexplicable obsession with it came from, maybe out of pity for a weak creature or just because it made him feel more "human" to care for another being.

  Ever since he lost control and bit Anders to death, he hadn't thought about "being human". What kind of human would kill the person he loved most while making love?! When he finally came to his senses, his boyfriend was lying quietly in his arms, on the bloody bed. Then he realised that it was even too late to turn Anders.

  Mitchell hung his head in frustration and clutched the clothes in his arms. Anders bought it.

  But then, suddenly, he heard a faint howl.

      ---

    The golden creature stared at the trap biting into its hind leg, its tail slapping the ground anxiously. Shivering, it tried to move the trapped left leg, but the excruciating pain caused it to moan again. The tiny creature gasped sharply for a moment but struggled to brace itself on front paws and turned with difficulty to crawl back to George's cabin.

  It was close to the cabin, so he might return before the hunters found him.

  Dragging its hurt leg and heavy trap, it had to stop for a while almost every meter it moved, leaving a sinuous trail of blood on the ground.

  He remembered what the vampires always said: George was a nice guy. Although he would not take home a wild fox as a pet, he certainly would not turn a blind eye to a wounded creature. All he could hope for now was that George wouldn't leave too soon and that he wouldn't have to face an empty cabin.

  However, the wound on its leg was still too much for the weak fox, and it had only crawled less than ten meters before collapsing from exhaustion, with his consciousness fading from the pain. Then, a sound of footsteps from far away to close to the little one suddenly snapped back to attention.

  He wasn't willing to be taken away and sold! There's only half a month left!

  The little fox struggled again to find a hiding place, even though it knew there was no way it could outrun the human race. And the colour of its fur was too obvious in the winter's dead leaves, so before it could find a place to hide, the little one had been picked up by a pair of hands.

  It let out a shrill yelp in a split second and tried to jump out with the tiny paws, but the more it struggled, the more painful the wound on its leg became. Only when the little creature turned it over onto its back to lie in the man's arms, with the injured leg gently propped up after the trap had been removed, that the little fox, which had been making such a fuss, finally calmed down. However, it was only quiet for a few seconds before it once again pitifully and miserably arched its little head over the vampire's arms, whimpering.

  The little one kept pawing at the vampire's clothes, and its moans sounded more and more pitiful. Mitchell looked into the blue eyes in his arms. It was the first time he had ever seen a fox in tears, and he even read hope and sadness in them. He held the fox as if it were a baby, let it grasp his clothes with the paws, with its little head against his chest.

  "You recognise my clothes?" Mitchell thought for a moment, attributing its unusually clingy behaviour to the scent on his clothes.

  The little fox purred, but pity the vampire couldn't understand what that meant.

  "I'll take you home first." He lowered his head and nuzzled the pretty creature, causing the fox to purr again.

  Before leaving, Mitchell looked back at the long trail of blood on the ground and held the golden one tighter.

    ---

    Mitchell had always wondered what look Anders got when he bit him on the neck.

  He didn't know and couldn't remember.

    ---

    When he brought the hurt fox home, Mitchell had no idea that after its leg had healed, the little one would still roll in his bed and refuse to leave.

  The vampire looked at the golden creature who continued to sleep with his little paws over its eyes and rubbed the round belly, then the furry head, and finally its pretty tail. Until the fox finally got so annoyed with him that it couldn't sleep anymore. It rolled over and bit him on the arm exasperatedly.

  "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve," Mitchell said as the little fox cocked its little butt to stretch.

  It stopped to look at him with a bit of anticipation. After all, he had never seen snow at Christmas before. But Mitchell's later words made the fox look forward to it less again.

  "George and Annie will both come." The vampire teased its ears, "I wonder if you'll get to see Annie."

  The little fox thought about it and couldn't come up with an answer. If it had been Anders, it might have been able to see her by Bragi's power. But it didn't have the mind to dwell on that; it just yawned and then found the sunniest place in the room and curled up with its eyes closed.

  For him, a Christmas without sex, what's the difference between that and every other day?

  Wait, Sex? !

  As he was no longer in a hurry to find out after being picked up by Mitchell, he almost forgot that he could change into human form two days later.

  "Andy?" the vampire called out suspiciously as he looked at the little fox who had suddenly lifted its head from its furry golden tail, while the pretty one didn't even give him a look before it buried its head back, comfortable to sleep up.

  This year's Christmas Eve was more festive than Mitchell had imagined, due to a bow tie Annie brought.

  The little fox went on alert the moment she took it out of her package, scurrying up behind the vampire at once and growling menacingly at Annie. Annie, however, looked as if her heart was melting because of its kitten-like voice.

  "Mitchell, you must take him back!"

  The little creature hated this physical 'cuteness'.

  The vampire turned to look at the tiny one whose tail was raised high in anger, then at his friend, who was slowly approaching with the bow against his chest. Mitchell couldn't help but giggle, "Do you need my help?"

  "Of course." Annie replied as a matter of fact, "And I have a gold one just for him."

  No. NO. MITCHELL! DON'T DARE YOU!

  Mitchell grabbed the fox as it tried to slip away, crouched down to whisper "I promise this is the only time". Then with one arm around the fox's belly and one hand on his butt, the vampire carried it with belly up and restrained it to the maximum. So that when Annie tied that bow onto the pretty tail that kept waving, the little one could only slap a paw in the vampire's face in annoyance.

  Finally, the little fox was numbly put on a collar with a bell and a silly Christmas hat before being allowed to run off to the corner of the cabin to have a tantrum all to itself. It didn't take long, though, for Mitchell to apologise and remove the woolly hat from its ears before it took a bite out of his hand.

  As he chatted with Annie and George, Mitchell held the little one on his lap at all times, stroking it from its back to the tail. When the tail was caught by the vampire, it always broke free quickly, but again the furry tail fell right into his palm each time when he turned it over.

  However, the little fox was not as energetic as the other three and fell quietly asleep in Mitchell's arms before dinner. It wasn't until a small piece of gingerbread was passed under his nose that the fox suddenly sniffed and then, without opening his eyes, took it.

  Perhaps due to exhaustion from pre-change, it had been sleeping sickly on Mitchell's lap. When it finally reluctantly opened the eyelids, it found that it and the vampire were the only ones left in the cabin.

  Mitchell placed his palm under its head, and the little one, looking around, immediately leaned its head up, squinting and purring as the vampire tickled his chin. "Annie and George have gone back.

  The little fox looked up at him, with the mini bell tinkling.

  "George has a date with Nina tomorrow." The little head rested back on Mitchell's hand.

  It really was one of the reasons George and Annie didn't stay, though not the most important one. The vampire thought. And, even though the little creature curled up in his lap was very human, he didn't want to re-tell what had happened in Christmases two years ago.

  "Sleep." He petted the golden fox, whose eyes had closed again, and carried it back to bed—it had refused to sleep in the nest Mitchell had so lovingly laid out for him from the day it was brought home.

    ---

    The following morning, Mitchell was awakened by the sound of a crisp bell and comfort between his legs. He grunted in his half-sleep and subconsciously held the cheeks pressed against his waist, punching himself into the warm, tight ring.

  "Mmm..." The golden one suddenly pushed against the pleasure spot, went weak at the waist and almost fell on top of the vampire. Anders frowned as he stared at the brunette whose eyes hadn't even opened, slapping Mitchell across the face.

  Not hard, but enough to wake the vampire up. Though what he didn't expect was for Mitchell to freeze for a few seconds, and then he suddenly rolled over and pinned him to the bed, pinching his thighs and fucking so hard. Anders' curses turned into soft whimpers before releasing, mingling with the uninterrupted ringing of his bell.

  The blonde raised his neck and groaned loudly as the vampire thrust harder and faster. He put his arms around his lover's shoulder and tried to pull him into a kiss. But Mitchell avoided his lips and buried his face against his neck. This position made Anders almost completely fold. His legs were open to the point that they hurt, while the vampire did not care about these, just more and more mad to torture his prostate.

  It took a few moments before Anders could distinguish the sobs belonging to the vampire from his own murmurs and rings. He clutched Mitchell's head, gasped increasingly rapidly and was even dizzied from lack of oxygen, nearly coming.

  "Mitch...John...!" Anders shivered violently, finally coming on Mitchell's belly, crying his name.

  The golden creature went limp on the bed and submissively allowed the vampire to cum deep in his passage.

  When the crisp ringing of the bell finally stopped, the vampire's sobs became clearer and louder. Then, as his own breathing calmed, Anders grabbed Mitchell's curls and tugged hard, forcing the brunette to look into his eyes.

  "Look at me, puppy." Anders stared into those wet puppy eyes, the vampire in front of him now not looking at all like the bastard who had just almost fucked him unconscious, "I'm not your sex dream."

  Mitchell froze like a broken computer, giving no response. It wasn't until Anders lifted his left leg and kicked him, gesturing for the vampire to look at his leg, that Mitchell finally responded.

  He pulled himself out of Anders and lifted his calf - a scar was plainly visible below the knee. Mitchell's wrist shook slightly, rubbing his thumb over the scar, and as he lowered his head and kissed it, his whole body shook uncontrollably.

  It was only now that Mitchell eventually noticed that the sweet blonde with his legs spread had a gorgeous, fluffy tail and a pair of fluffy fox ears hidden between his golden hair.

  "Aren't you?" the vampire put his leg down and rewrapped Anders into his arms, trying to come to terms with the fact that he'd picked Anders up from the woods. But, as he rejoiced, his chest once again ached like the heart had been squeezed tight. He couldn't stop imagining what if he hadn't found the little fox that day, what if his little fox had been taken by the hunter who had laid the trap... One horrible thought after another made him hold his baby, who was flapping the tip of his tail, close to him in fear.

  "Or you can take a bite and have a taste, but I won't promise I'll taste the same as before..." He hadn't finished when Mitchell suddenly looked up and interrupted him in a loud voice as abruptly as he was stressed.

  "DON'T JOKE WITH IT!" Then, staring at his stunning blonde, Mitchell rested his forehead against the little fox's, with his voice softening, "Please... don't joke with it...I won't hurt you again..."

  While Anders was puzzled, he saw Mitchell's eyes turn dark unexpectedly, and when Mitchell took his finger against his teeth, he couldn't feel the vampire's sharp fangs.

  "What have you done?!"

  "It's the only way..." The vampire nuzzled him to fawn with his nose like a puppy who had upset his master. "The only way to ensure I will never hurt you again... you said you would come back to me." Before the door closed.

  "What if I can't ?!"

  "Don't know." Mitchell was extraordinarily honest about it. "I just want to protect you from a monster, when you get back."

  "Egg..." Anders was so angry that he wanted to scold him all day, while Mitchell's poor expression prevented any of his expletives from coming out. Finally, he could only grab the vampire's collar and bring his lips to, "Now, FUCK me, hard, fierce, or I'll leave immediately and...Hum...!"

#Gathering 12 Days 2022 #Britchell #Anders/Mitchell #The Almighty Johnsons #Being Human (UK)

[archivedbyebye]

Redemption: Harumi’s Only Option For Character Growth.

HIIIIII

What am I doing here? Writing a rant/ essay/ crazy vomit pile of words and half-thought ideas? I don’t know, can you please tell me?

Yeah, probably shouldn’t have written this while I’m drunk on sleep-deprivation and procession of the most recent episode.

Oh boy, that was fun. Yeah, don’t keep that episode in mind when reading this (if you do) It’s not really connected to the most recent episode, more just my jumbled thoughts after the last episode before hiatus was rotting in my brain.

Also, subtitles probably won’t do my understanding of it justice anyways.

For future reference, this was written before the last 22 episode of this season came out, and it’s just my thoughts as far as Harumi and the way this season has handled her return so far (with only the understanding of  episodes 1-12 of crystallized, thank you for your time.)

My only criticism for Harumi’s return this season is the probable inevitable repetition in her character arc.

Harumi is my favorite character in this whole fucking series. There, you have it. Ninjago’s full potential in characterization was crafted to her and the entirety of season 8. She’s manipulative, flawed, emotional, conniving, and driven. Her character arc was amazing, ended amazing, and her lasting effects were present in seasons following her death. Utterly perfect. Do I take criticisms? No.

Here’s the thing, despite how much I loved her and season 8, there’s no way I’d ever want Harumi back. Crystallized didn’t get the memo.

Honestly, my biggest concern for her return is the fact that they really did everything for her character. She was a love interest, a character on the good side. The villain-twist really brought the edge to season 8. Her last-minute redemption was utterly amazing, and really brought her character full-circle. Say what you will about season 8, but I loved every minute of it.

So, Harumi survived the building collapse? Good for her, I guess.

Here’s the thing, there’s nothing left but redemption.

If they were going to bring Harumi back, the last thing I’d expect is for her to return to the villain role. If her last minute before death told us anything, it was that she saw error in her ways, and perhaps even felt regret. She’d been at that point where she’s lost control of her pursuits, and now others are suffering because of it. It’s already been proven that she’s willing to break a cycle, see last two minutes before death. 

Yet here she is, second-in-command to the epitome of darkness to torture green boi.

It’s not surprising, but it feels overused. Remember when Garmadon was brought back in season 8 as big bad boi? Some were concerned that the writers were reusing Garmadon’s character arc. Is that what happened, though? Personally, I thought it was wonderfully done. (Are you surprised? I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been ranting so much about how much I love season 8 what are you talking about-) I thought that this reincarnation of sort was tastefully done, and even better than previous incarnations of the whole “villian-Garmadon” fiasco. 

I don’t feel the same way about Harumi’s return, especially if she’s just brought as the villain. I know this isn’t explained very well, especially as I’m comparing her to Garmadon of all people, but there’s a difference, I swear. For one, Garmadon’s state of mind during his season 8 comeback was in tune with the plot. It was established early-on that this would not be the same Garmadon we had seen in the past, and frankly, this Frankenstein-of-sorts was definitely something cohesive to the plot. With Harumi in Crystallized, it’s really hard not to feel as if she was just shoved in there for shock value.

So yeah, I really feel like there’s a big difference here.

So here’s the cinch, I think that bringing her back into this form as a villain really undermines the last-minute redemption that brought her character full-circle in the first place. Say that Harumi undergoes this kind of redemption in this season? I might think differently about it.

We have what? 22 more episodes to go? I’ve heard that this season’s a doozy, (but aren’t they all?)

Truthfully, and albeit cynical as I may be, I wouldn’t put my trust in the writers to cover this kind of characterization. (Or Lloyd’s trauma *cough cough*) While I was disappointed, I wasn’t surprised to see Harumi in this state again.

All I can hope for is a return to redemption for her. What will probably come for her: Death / permanent punishment for her actions.

SCREECH.

#Ninjago #harumi #crystallized #rant #long boi rant #what the heck #s16 #s15 #what season is this

[katierosefun]

i made a playlist for star wars lesbians that don’t exist

#caroline talks #my playlist #this is peak chaotic caroline energy #SUCH peak chaotic caroline energy #'caroline work on your paper' #i AM #i've actually elaborated on my paper a bit more #AND i've put together my bibliography AND started my executive summary #AND written loads on this one portion of the paper #anyways lmao i swear i still make star wars playlists #i have 4 other star wars playlists that i need to drop #but i'm waiting because they're associated with a fic i'm writing......and yes before you ask the 4 new playlists were necessary for this #(ie. superhero au hopefully coming soon) #but anyways. #anyways also though just watch me slowly and steadily make playlists for star wars characters that DON'T EXIST (yet) #i swear i have half the first season written but anyways-- #idk i hope y'all appreciate the vague vibes here