#i stumbled upo

[harry-styles-obsessed]

Don’t you call him baby

Request: hi! I’ve been obsessed with the song ‘cherry’ lately and was wondering whether you could write something about it? I’m so hyper fixed on it and AH I just need something smutty and angsty if possible? Thank you!!

A/n: I haven’t mentioned it but I went for a job interview… and… I got the job!!! Hooray!!

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

Minors please do not interact! 18+ only. Thank you.

Warnings: smut, exes, toxicity, mention of arguments, angst… jealous Harry. Protective Harry. Dominant Harry. Degrading/ praise. Cheating kinda? Rough… as well. Very sexual scenes. (Make up sex pretty much) if this isn’t your thing/ it makes you uncomfortable please scroll past. But if you read and are easily effected by some strong/ tense scenes please read at your own discretion. Much love, A. x

Harry styles x fem! Reader

Inspirations from cherry:

don’t you call him baby

did you know I still talk to them?

—

“How is she?” His voice cut through the silence, Harry had decided to meet up with one of your closest friends. It took a lot to convince her but she eventually gave in to his constant requests of knowing how you were doing. Noa sat opposite Harry her chin resting on her knuckles as she gazed at him “harry I know you care about her… but y/n wants to move on. It’s time to move on.” She spoke calmly and sensibly. She never got involved between drama or toxic relationships but you had been constantly stressing over the fact that Harry was so bluntly concerned about you. You hated it. In fact you despised him and wished he would go and find a new girl to date… but Harry didn’t want that. He didn’t want a new girl. He wanted you. “I know, Noa.” He muttered to her his hands rubbing against each other slightly before he sighed “is she okay though? In herself? I haven’t seen her in a while…”

Noa stared at the man, deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he only wanted the best for you. “She’s okay.” She nodded her head smiling, “she’s happier.” Those words tore him apart, selfishly so, you were happier without him? That alone was difficult to comprehend yet he forced a smile “that’s good.” Noa nodded her head “yeah… she misses you though. I’m sure you both miss each other. But she’s moved on… and you have to as well.” Harry should’ve listened- but those words but she’s moved on made his heart plummet. What did she mean by that? Did you have a new boyfriend? Someone who made you happier than ever? Was Harry truly not enough for you? He felt jealousy creeping up within him yet on his perfectly sculpted face was nothing but calmness. But under that was a storm brewing.. messy and huge. “She’s got a boyfriend?” He soon asked gawking at her and Noa gazed at him, clearly not wanting to discuss anymore and Harry quickly cut her off before she could’ve said anything else:

“You know what. Never mind… I’m sorry it’s none of my business.” he smiled falsely before shaking his head “it was nice meeting up with you again. We’ll have to do it some other time… yeah?” Or in better words- we’ll meet up to talk about y/n more. Harry didn’t like to admit it but he was a tad bit crazy. But in a way that he adored you and loved you… so much so no one else could love you the way he loved you… he was frankly obsessed with you. You were the one who made him happiest. The one to make his whole world light up around him… you dragged him out of the darkest pits of hell and saved him. You both had history with each other and that was clear. He missed you. It angered him that you had moved on so quickly but he had decided then and there that he wasn’t going to let you live that down… he would make you realise all over again just how much you missed him… all of him.

And so that’s exactly how it played out. Harry still had a key to your apartment from when you were together and so he allowed himself in before situating himself on your bed laying against the headboard as he simply awaited for you to stumble upon him. He wasn’t sure how you would react… maybe scream at him? Hit him? Punch him? But he found himself praying that you would kiss him and tell him you loved him still. But love wasn’t that easy now was it? He was a jealous man but he refused to see his jealousy. You didn’t even split from each other because of anything horrible like cheating or whatever- it was just a dumb argument. But seeing it now it was incredibly stupid and if Harry could’ve turned back time then he would’ve. All he wanted for you was for you to be happy.

About twenty minutes passed, you had just finished up a small date with your new boyfriend. You loved him. You truly did. But he wasn’t Harry. You missed Harry terribly, neither of you spoke to each other and every day you found yourself wanting him more and more. You missed the smell of his cologne, the way he would run his fingers through your hair… you just missed him. A soft sigh left your lips your key held in your hand as you slowly pushed the key into the keyhole before unlocking the door and opening it. You shrugged your jacket off, hanging it up and locking the front door before heading straight for your bedroom. You were tired and just wanted to sleep… but you missed Harry. Sleep usually helped ease your mind but no matter what it would always be difficult. You were craving his love, his attention, his touch… all of him. But that was so wrong, wasn’t it? You slowly walked into your room before freezing at the sight your eyes widening, lips slightly parting as you stared at the man on your bed. The man you still adored. You blinked, a shaky breath leaving your lips. “Hi,” he spoke with a smile but you just stared unable to react before eventually you shook your head “Harry you need to leave.” You murmured softly but the way his eyes travelled up and down your body subtly made your heart flip upside down your breath catching in your throat. “You want me to leave?” He asked raising his brows slightly “Harry please…” he slowly stood up from the bed as he walked towards you “you’re just saying that.” He murmured gently his eyes searching yours that had a look of need, urgency and fire in them “I know you. I love you. I want you.” Your lips remained parted and you stared at him in shock… he wanted you? What did he mean by that? “What do-“ “I mean I really… really want you.” The look in his green eyes told you it all, your wide doe like eyes widening even further before you shook your head lightly “I can’t Harry. I’ve got a boyfriend…” you spoke quietly and the man smiled slightly “I’m aware of that, sweetheart…” but before you could’ve even asked how he knew he was already talking again “he doesn’t give you what you need, does he? He doesn’t fuck you long and hard right? He doesn’t grab you by the throat and tell you who you belong to. Does he?” His eyes bored into yours your breathing now more frantic, your stomach fluttering dangerously before his slender ring adorned fingers reached up gently grabbing a hold of your chin before he leaned in looking more deep into your eyes “does he?” You blinked your eyes, breathing faster now before you shook your head an accomplished smirk forming on those pretty lips of his, “do you want that? Do you need that? Hm you pretty thing?” And you found yourself nodding frantically feeling butterflies travel elsewhere throughout your entire body, some fluttering down straight into your already throbbing heat, eyes wide as you clenched your thighs together attempting to be subtle about it whilst also attempting to add enough pressure to take the edge off of it.

“Good thing I’m here then” he spoke smiling before he pulled you in roughly his lips colliding with yours in a hot passionate kiss, the kisses were slightly sloppy, your hands resting against the sides of his neck as he soon wrapped his arms around your waist gripping onto you tightly, his fingers soon sliding underneath your T-shirt which he soon slid up your body before discarding it on the floor, which were then followed by your jeans his hands gliding up and down your body skilfully, creating all those little goosebumps which had your knees weak, his lips remained connected to yours before he trailed the sloppy kisses down to your neck leaving open mouthed kisses against your soft skin before he pulled away gazing into your eyes “get on the bed. Get comfortable.” Those words alone had another flurry of butterflies consume your stomach and you rather quickly got onto the bed, backing up until your back was against the headboard your hungry eyes remaining on his “good girl, I see you can follow orders hm?” See how long that lasts… your eyes remained on him trying to guess what he was going to do next but you watched as he remained standing still, hands lightly crossed over his chest his eyes scanning shamelessly all over you watching how your chest raised and fell so angelically whereas your thighs clenched together so incredibly tightly. He didn’t speak, allowing you to listen to your heavy breathing and indefinitely the sound of your heart racing in your ears. He found it adorable how your cheeks were already flushed…. He hadn’t even started and you were already a mess. “Oh my poor pathetic baby, hm?” A soft chuckle left his lips before he walked closer to the bed until his knees were touching against the end of it “reach down.” He demanded you feigning a slight confused look. “Don’t be stupid, darling. Use that pretty head of yours… you know what I’m asking of you.” You remained still. Eyes on him your breathing increasing all over again before he smirked “fine. Play with yourself.” Those words made your eyes widen, but your hand, like it was being controlled by a puppeteer slowly crept down, your hand moving your panties to the side your fingers immediately getting to work. You were already soaked… embarrassingly so. Your head lightly tilted backwards, lips parting as a low gasp left your lips your fingers gliding teasingly up and down, before one started circling around your clit a whimper leaving your lips.

Harry’s hungry eyes remained on you, watching as you played for him, watching with careful eyes. Listening to your reactions… “mhm just like that sweetheart. Just like that.” He spoke softly his lips parted as he just watched you play for him. “You sensitive baby?” His tone was accusing, your brows furrowed slightly as you were too lost in your own pleasure. Usually your fingers didn’t help you whatsoever but with Harry just watching it made the moment more intense. More insane. Incredibly hot. You didn’t respond, making the man tilt his head to the side “hm? Is that a no? Darling you know that I know you. You cant fool me…” he watched your brows furrow deeper and deeper and he smirked before slowly walking round to the edge of the bed where his large hand soon wrapped around your wrist, stopping you from toying with yourself before he used two of his fingers to drag up and down your slit, your hips jolting and he smirked cockily staring down at you, your eyes glossy from the ceasing of pleasure “you are sensitive” he analysed gently before chuckling gently “how many times?” His tone was dangerous and your lower lip trembled “I-I don’t know…” you whispered softly and he stared deeply into your eyes “so you played with yourself… yesterday? Did you?” Your cheeks became flushed again and he chuckled “darling don’t go shy on me. It’s okay if you did…” his tone was so comforting but you knew him as much as he knew you. “I did… but…” you paused and he raised a brow “but?” He trailed off and you studied his eyes “I played whilst thinking of you.”

Those words stunned the man yet they also turned him on that much more the bulge in his jeans larger, making his jeans more uncomfortable. “Jesus Christ baby…” he whispered before he abruptly and without warning grabbed a hold of your hips, pulling you to the edge of the bed so your hips were dangling off of the edge before he helped pull your panties off his knees soon buckling as he knelt down, pulling your legs to rest over his shoulders arms locking around your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer “don’t you dare close your eyes. Look at me. Got it?” You nodded your head furiously, feeling his breath fan against your sopping cunt “verbal sweetheart c’mon” he cooed out and you whimpered “yes.. yes!” He smiled large hands gripping onto your thighs before he lowered his mouth down to your aching core “what a good girl hm?” He spoke, before his licked a stripe up your slit a low groan leaving his lips before his lips wrapped around your clit, tongue starting to flick mercilessly against it as he began sucking against it slightly your head tilting backwards in awed making the man you dream about slap your thigh slightly reminding you to keep your eyes on him- your eyes locking with his as he stared deeply into your soul. Whilst doing that, his fingers paid close attention to the hole that clenched around nothing before his slid one of his fingers in beginning to thrust in and out slowly and carefully, your eyes squeezing shut “y/n…” he growled out sending vibrations throughout you and you moaned out, yet your head flew forwards eyes locking with his again, a second finger being eased in, his fingers thrusting in and out steadily and slowly- curling ever so slightly hitting that spot within you making your back arch slightly from the fact that you had been so touch starved recently and you were now getting what you wanted. Exactly what you wanted. His eyes pierced into your own and you panted, he felt the way you clenched around him and instantly quickened his pace soft whines leaving your lips “louder” he demanded, your whimpers turning into loud moans as your hips attempting to buck up into his mouth and fingers yet from the grip he hand on your thighs you stood no chance.

“h-harry I-I’m gonna-“ you felt the coil tighten to the point you knew it was inevitably going to break, but all that came to a agonisingly teasing halt as Harry stopped. Your desperate body writhing, attempting to get more of his touch. “Ah ah… you don’t get to cum. Not just yet.” His eyes bored into yours and he smirked your flushed face contorted with need, before a little chuckle left his lips “tell me why you want to? Why you deserve to, hm?” Your eyes glared into his hungrily that soft smirk on his perfectly sculpted face “i-I’ve been good… i- I just need you…” you whined out in that whiny voice that he loved so much, his head soon tilting wanting to hear more of it “and? Come on baby, sooner you get it over with sooner I can make you feel good…” he was so arrogantly calm about it all, yet under all of that facade he was wanting to fuck you hard. You breathed heavily, panting, eyes squeezing shut as moans of need left your lips before you panted out a very soft: “I love you…”

And that was all he needed to hear before he tapped your thigh three times with his index finger, asking for you to move, and so you did- laying on your back on the bed. You watched as he took his belt off, his clothes being discarded hurriedly but rather lazily all at the same time your mouth practically watering at the sight of him before he clambered on top of you, lips smashing against yours, your lips moulding with his- connecting like the last piece of a puzzle before he aligned his cock with you before he thrusted in, your eyes instantly rolling to the back of your head, your legs locking around his waist- nails digging into his back as you panted heavily “fuck fuck fuck” you whined out, soft grunts leaving his lips his face buried slightly into the crook of your neck his hair a mess making him look that much more hot “feel so good” you spoke breathing heavily as he found a perfect rhythm the only sounds being a mixture of both of your moans and skin slapping against skin. He left kisses against your neck, hickeys being littered all over your warm silky skin. “Don’t call him baby again… don’t… don’t…” he spoke through slight grunts “do you understand me? Don’t want you seeing him again.” His tone was dangerous, possessive and needful, you nodded your head weakly your walls clenching desperately around him your nails scratching into his back “good girl. Good girl.”

“Who makes you feel this good?” “You do Harry…” your voice was pathetically weak from the pleasure rocketing throughout you and soon enough that coil was tightening all over again, his thrusts had become more sloppy and his moans were growing louder. His lips connected with yours, his head slightly pulling back making a string of saliva pull from both of your lips before snapping as he kissed you again “cum…” he groaned out against your lips and just like that the euphoria wrapped around both you and him your moans being muffled by his lips, his loud moans soon too being muffled as he dug his teeth into your shoulder, his thrusts continuing- helping you through your high before he stopped, body slumped against yours, heart to heart- bodies hot and sweaty your lips slightly swollen from how hard and rough he had kissed them but you didn’t care… the pleasure didn’t stop. It was continuous. But you loved it…

His green eyes soon met yours and you smiled lazily up at him his hand soon cupping against your cheek “love you so much” he muttered softly and you smiled pressing a gentle kiss to his lips “love you too…” your eyes searched his before he kissed you again “missed you.” He murmured softly and to say those words were highly reciprocated was an understatement. You both missed each other terribly… and finally… you were back together again. Finally.

Literally my first time writing long smut so please excuse how terrible it is😭 hope you liked it! Anyways if you’d all like a part two or another smutty story then lmk! Or just send in a request! All the love always, Amber x

#harry styles smut #harry edward styles #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry x y/n #harry styles x reader #one direction #harry smut #harry styles angst #harry styles #smut story #denial #yn #x reader #imagines #request #requests open #dark harry #i got a new job #like ahhhh #ahhh i'm so excited

[sammytheotakunerd]

MC is too kind

------------------------

Not a chapter but the first half of it is.

After you and Lucifer talked for about an hour, you fell asleep.

He didn't touch you, being afraid that you'll be scared at him. But it does make him wonder on why you got aggressive on Diavolo. Diavolo did the least on you. Yes, he did ignore all of your cues and made your life 10x harder because he was ignorant of the signs but that was it. Compared to what he and his brother's did, it was just a speck.

But now you're here, sleeping oh so wonderfully. He was sitting at the same chair for the last hour. He was observing your features. Your eyes, even closed, looks ever so peaceful.

Before leaving your room, he gave you one more look. He received a not so surprise when he opened the door.

"I knew it." Lucifer looked at the folks who appeared to be listening in on you with his always dismal eyes.

There all sat Leviathan, Mammon, and Asmo.

"We just wanted to know how MC is doing! Then we stumbled upo you-" Asmo's mouth got shut by Mammon.

"Shhhhh, MC's sleepin'"

'Oh, right...' Asmo knows you didn't have the sleep that you needed when you were kidnapped.

#obey me l #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me lucifer #obey me angst #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me diavolo

[sinceregalaxy]

fic masterlist

better call saul (mcwexler)

Between the Dirt and the Stars (M, 24474): Jimmy already knew there was no escape from the tragic looks from his parents and the bragging from some of his friends and the empty platitudes from everyone at church. Maybe Jimmy wished he was the one who would melt into the carpet. It seemed like God had already decided there wasn’t anyone out there who would really, truly miss him anyway. (Or, soulmates are a thing in the BCS universe, and nothing really changes.)

Litost (M, 4363): It’s raining, just like Glen said it would. (Or, Kim in Florida, the week after Jimmy calls.)

Wiedervereint (M, 2236): In the back of the store there’s a whole row of stalls for trying on the thrifted fare. An older woman stands off to the side with a pinched look on her face, sorting through the clothes left behind by other customers. “I’ve only got one room open right now, so one of you will have to wait,” she informs them with a deep sigh, pointing towards the stall at the very end of the wall. “Oh, we can share,” Kim says immediately. (Or, Kim and Jimmy go thrifting before the Lubbock scam.)

Notecards and Ink Marks (T, 2954):  The first thing Kim Wexler learned about James McGill was that he was terrible at sitting still. (Or, Jimmy’s propensity to doodle, through Kim’s eyes.)

Wastin’ Away Again (T, 3606):  The inside of the elevator has the audacity to have the words “Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on,” printed in big blue letters. The font is extremely tacky, even by his standards, and it makes Saul want to kick something. But there’s nothing on the ground except his suitcase, and a nice-looking elderly couple is hopping on the elevator behind him, so Saul just downs the rest of his margarita and crushes the plastic cup in his fist. (Or, Saul is depressed at Margaritaville.)

Three-Way Call (M, 1258): He maneuvers himself on top of her so he can stretch and grab the phone. “Jimmy, don’t,” she tries again, but he’s already pressing the green button and holding the phone up to her ear. (Or, Kim talks to someone on the phone while Jimmy distracts her.)

A Given Thing (E, 2774): It takes Jimmy an embarrassingly long moment to pick up on the meaning of her words. “Oh.” He tilts his head at her. “You want me to come with you?” Kim’s gaze returns to him. “Of course I do,” she says seriously. “Are you sure?” (Or, some angsty smut set in S4.)

Toothache (M, 2637): “Hi, James.” “Hi, Dr. Wexler, good to see you again. You can call me Jimmy, by the way. No one ever calls me James.” “Okay then, Jimmy. I heard you were having some pain.” (Or, Kim is a dentist AU.)

Light Years (M, 21639): Kim, Jimmy, and the years in between. (Or, a Kim POV covering the time from when Jimmy passes the bar up to 1x01 Uno.)

Push and Pull (E, 1514 words): She still hasn’t looked at him. She’s angry with him. She must be. Occam’s razor. The simplest explanation is always the correct one, and she wants this to be true. But it’s rarely applied where Jimmy is involved. (Or, a missing scene from S2E9 Nailed.)

hold my hand to the bone (T, 1637 words):  Jimmy is talking and talking. He might be trying to talk to her, but she’s also pretty sure he’s just talking to talk. He does that sometimes. (Or, Kim and Jimmy do some recreational drugs and light trespassing.)

The Sunshine State (T, 13536 words): Skyler reaches into her pocket and pulls out her new ID. It says it was issued in the state of Florida two years ago, but she knows it was actually issued in the back of a mechanic shop, just yesterday evening. It won’t be air tight, Saul had told her. He had missed his chance with the expert, and the guy wouldn’t take all four of them. The new IDs would do in a pinch, though, according to Saul. (Or, the one where Saul and the White Family go into hiding together. In Florida, of course.)

a bridge to nowhere (T, 3673 words): Saul Goodman was Lalo Salamanca’s lawyer, and now Lalo Salamanca is dead. Saul Goodman can get off any criminal that stumbles upon his doorstep, but he’s not for business needs to be handled discreetly. The cartel would be much better off looking for a different lawyer. They hope it’s enough. It has to be. (Or, Kim stays after the whole Howard thing.)

the mastermind (T, 2381 words): Jimmy made a plan. It was probably a stupid plan, but even if it didn’t work it would just be step one in his scheme to get Kim Wexler to like him. (Or, Jimmy and Kim’s first few moments in the mailroom.)

some vast, unnamable fear (T, 2208 words):  It felt like Jimmy was making a choice of his own, right there on top of the mail room table. She’s pretty sure he did, but Kim is still deliberating. (Or, how Jimmy fits into Kim’s plans. Sequel to the mastermind.)

game of thrones/asoiaf (jaime x brienne)

Funny Way of Showing It (T, 3544 words):  So, with two University of Winterfell labs and one Addam, Podrick found himself sitting at a fancy steakhouse in Harrenhal late on a Sunday evening. (Or, academic AU dinner from hell.)

if one thing had been different (would everything be different?) (T, 5119 words): Brienne called the landlord and he arrived a few hours later and fixed the sink while Sansa did homework and Arya watched him suspiciously from the dining table. And when he was done he told Brienne to have a nice rest of her day and to call him if they had any other issues. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except that the landlord wasn’t just anybody. It was Jaime Lannister. (Or, Jaime is Brienne’s landlord, and everything in her apartment keeps on breaking.)

falling down the stairs of your smile (T, 3140 words): “Well, I guess you probably have to get home and… see your boyfriend.” She rolled her eyes at that. Wanted to laugh out loud at the absurd notion. “Jaime, I don’t have a boyfriend.” His eyes sharpened. “Well, in that case,” and his uninjured hand grasped her shoulder and he leaned in. (Or, a simple cute college AU). 

rogue one (rebelcaptain)

second nature (T, 1506 words): "Didn't you volunteer for this?" he replies, and the confusion is so clear on his face, so honest, that he really must not know. "In a way," she retorts. There's no use telling him the truth. He'll know in a few moments anyway. He'll know everything. (Or, a quick mind meld AU).

Arm’s Length (M, 6421 words):  "You want me to hate you?" he hisses. "Okay, I'll hate you." (Or, my own take on somebody lives/not everyone dies.)

the x files (msr)

Resonance (T, 889 words):  And suddenly she’s there next to you, popping bubblegum and tapping a beat on the center console. (Or, an angsty little oneshot set somewhere between IWTB and the reboot.)

succession (tomgreg)

permanent stains on fleeting bodies (M, 3322 words):  And it’s not like Tom was looking. He fucking wasn’t. But Greg was manspreading obscenely under that towel and his shorts were riding up in a weird way and Tom saw it. (Or, Tom and how badly he deals with having a soulmark.)

GLOW (sam x ruth)

Better Left Unknown (T, 1599 words):  No matter what happens, things always seem come back to this. In his car eating greasy gas station food. In his car to look at venues or meet with sponsors. In his car when he doesn’t want you there. In his car when he asked you to be. In his car with a bag of pink donuts on your lap because he wants to comfort you but just doesn’t know how. (Or, Sam and Ruth drive back to Vegas.)

#fanfic #self rec #better call saul #mcwexler #game of thrones #asoiaf #jaime x brienne #rogue one #rebelcaptain #the x files #msr #succession #tomgreg #glow netflix #sam x ruth #fic rec #ao3 #fic masterlist

[darubyprincx]

,,,What the fuck have i stumbled upo n

#ray's tag

[lickingyellowpaint]

So I have that little radio on atop the fish tank and I was floored because this random station was playing 70s but also 40s and I was baffled because what perfect radio station have I stumbled upo-

MeTV.FM, apparently.

It all makes sense now lol

#had no idea it existed and am super happy

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Secret Agent/Spy AU (2) Masterlist

part one

A Flaw In The Code - chocolatesaucelester

Summary: So money and power is what you seek? How much do you want it though; what are you willing to go through to seize it for yourself? Dan is the criminal mastermind behind the world’s largest and most powerful computer hacking company. All he sees are numbers and coding, however something else glints in his eyes. Over the course of his career he’s become very interested in a set of four special computer chips, and although he has three of them, his collection is not quite complete yet. Unfortunately, getting this fourth and final item is not something he can do on his own. So, he employs the help of former top MI6 Agent Phil Lester to aid him in his quest. Dan quickly learns that someone else has been scheming, and that having an elite partner is extremely advantageous in keeping ahead.

Agent Howell Goes on a Field Trip (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: “Ma’am, I have no fighting experience whatsoever, the only gun I know how to shoot is quite possibly a Nerf gun, I crash and burn under time pressure, I have a long history of setting gadgets on fire—”

“Dan.”

“I still don’t know how to cook pasta—”

a photograph (it couldn't be you) (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: No, they'll never catch us now // We will escape somehow

baby, you could be the death of me (ao3) - manchestereye (orphan_account)

Summary: or, b99 au (kinda) and dnp are sarcastic little shits that spiraled a rivalry over some misunderstandings.

Bitter Blue (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: N/A

blow a kiss, fire a gun (ao3) - The General Phanchild (orphan_account)

Summary: "If I don't improve... he'll absolutely obliterate me. And there's nothing I can do to stop him." Secret Agent “Gold,” or Dan Howell, is less than thrilled when he is forced to team up with new recruit “Amethyst,” Phil Lester. Phil is a former trainee; clumsy and overly apologetic, while Dan’s six years of experience have left him skilled and stealthy, yet completely emotionless. Throughout their mission to bring a mysterious super-villain to justice while travelling the city of Tokyo, Phil tries to come to terms with his illogical fear of Dan, while realising what Dan's true intentions with him are.

Brush Pass (ao3) - quarterleigh

Summary: "Dan feels Phil before he sees him. A slight bump at his shoulder, a whiff of cologne, and a slip of paper sliding in between Dan’s index and middle finger."

Dan and Phil are spies. Occasionally they have to exchange government secrets.

Can you hear me? I just hear magic. (ao3) - Fxndom_writter

Summary: Dan is a normal kid with a Boring life, but he is suddenly feeling like he's being watched, with the voices in his head talking he finds out he can jump dimensions but he must leave his family to attend a school for dimensions and.... Wait.... now he’s a spy?!!!

Compatible (ao3) - maytheday

Summary: They were supposed to kill each other...

dimensions taller (ao3) - seasonwon

Summary: Phil, an agent of the MI-6, is obligated to work with criminal Dan Howell to steal a device wanted by the British government. However, trouble ensues when they have competition Dan is all too familiar with. Phil learns the hard way of trusting the unpredictable, and also of an unwanted broken heart.

Fragile Tension (ao3) - maybeformepersonally

Summary: Phil’s family deals in espionage, which was working out just fine until he decided to shack up with a civilian.

get busy living (or get busy dying) (ao3) - twoheadlights (fizzfic)

Summary: The first time it happens, Dan doesn’t even take notice. He eats a lot of cereal. Hell, he’s probably the reason Tesco’s has to order extra boxes of the stuff. He’ll eat dry cereal at three a.m. if he can’t sleep. So he doesn’t notice. A box of Frosties being emptied in four days. That’s fine.

I Wouldn't Change a Thing (ao3) - thatsthephan

Summary: Phil had never been the sort of person to break the rules. He’d never been particularly paranoid, either, until he stumbled upon a mysterious boy who held the world’s secrets in his eyes. He didn’t know if he should run from him, even though his mind said he should. His heart told him he didn’t.

Phil Lester, The Spy who Shagged me. (ao3) - CactiPhan

Summary: Phil Lester, AKA 009, is an international spy working with MI6 When an unbearably cute boy compromises one of his missions, but they end up becoming secret partners in crime to save the world- till one of them gets hurt...

the voices of those who stand looking (ao3) - AnnaSepulchre

Summary: “You do realize we could just take this dress from costuming if it’s such a thing for you. It’s not like we can’t afford it.”

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #au #secretagent #secretagent masterlist #spy #spy masterlist

[babyawacs]

@thestudyofwar @thedrive  @thestudyofwar @thedrive ijust stumble d upon some video where russians mowed down their own fleeing soldier s like total monsters. theyput this stuff for a reason into stalinis t monster movie of 80years ago apocalyptic war hells blah tohell witht hese monstrous war horrors . @ukraine tossed in used some paramil p eople into the belgorod initialpahses irespectthem alotless since rus sians mowdown their own fleeing soldiers like some apocalyptic ww2 s talin monster movie b l a h w h o n e e e d s ///// ijust stumbled upo n some video where russians mowed down their own fleeing soldiers l ike total monsters. theyput this stuff for a reason into stalinist m onster movie of 80years ago apocalyptic war hells blah tohell witht hese monstrous war horrors I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS - Raw In dependent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https ://www.BabyAWACS.com/ [email protected] FluffyBunnySheepleSecurity [email protected] Helpful? support. donnate. pay. https://wise .com/share/christiank426 https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/christiankiss

@thestudyofwar @thedrive @thestudyofwar @thedrive ijust stumbled upon some video where russians mowed down their own fleeing soldiers like total monsters. theyput this stuff for a reason into stalinist monster movie of 80years ago apocalyptic war hells blah tohell withthese monstrous war horrors . @ukraine tossed in used some paramil people into the belgorod initialpahses irespectthem alotless…

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[izibella]

My dear friend, Akari, has a passion for singing and is starting to make song covers. :) <3

[turodrique]

mini tokyo olympics

#leica #lensblr #street photography #original photographer #photograhers on tumblr #imiging #i stumbled upo #filmisnotdead #tokyo #olympics #sports day #kids #tokyo street photography #tokyo olympics

[frxggie]

Tamaki helps you with a anxiety/panic attack

in honor of me having an anxiety attack earlier heres this bc tamaki is one of my biggest comfort characters and hes my highest kin

(im okay now tho my partner comforted me)

☾✧TW!! ANXIETY ATTACK, FLASHBACKS✧☽

You and your boyfriend Tamaki were going out for your 9 month anniversary in an hour. Your nine month had fallen perfectly on a friday and he had made reservations at some restaruant.

You had been super excited but a little nervous since you two didn't really go out all that much, due to the fact that you both had pretty bad social anixety.

You were digging through your closet, trying to find something to wear, but everything you put on just seemed to look stupid on you. You would put it on and you could just see the disgusted looks that people would surely give you.

A feeling of utter panic rose in your chest, causing you to stumble backwards and fall on top of your bed. You sat in the middle of it and tried to breathe, but found that you were having a hard time.

You could just hear people talking too loudly- see the dirty looks they would give you. All the horrible things they would say to you. Maybe someone would try to hurt you? Or yell at you? This way of thinking began to lead to flashbacks of things that had happened in your past.

You were beginnning to lose your sense of reality, and every sound was too loud- the water dripping down from the shower head from the shower you had just taken, the fan blowing, the sound of your door opening-

Wait- door opening?!

You looked up, meeting eyes with Tamaki, who was in nice clothes, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and who had a horrified look on his face.

"B-Bunny?!" he asked, rushing over to you. "What's g-going on?"

You looked upo at him and tried to speak, but no words came out.

He reached out to touch you, and you flinched bad, causing him to flinch as well.

He now knew exactly what was going on- you had helped him through anxiety attacks plenty of times. He placed the flowers down on your night stand and sat in front of you, facing you.

"C-Can I t-take your h-hands?" he asked

You nodded slowly, and you felt a pair of shaky hands take yours.

"Can y-you b-breathe?" he asked gently.

You couldn't respond, so he took it as a no.

"H-Hey- look i-in my eyes and f- follow me." he said.

He began to help you take deep breaths, counting with you and demonstating. Once you could breathe slightly better, he squuezed your hands and let go of them.

"M-May I touch you?" he asked hesitantly.

You nodded and pulled you into his lap, just holding you there.

"C-Can you t-try talking t-to me?" he asked quietly.

"I-I think I c-can speak." you spat out shakily.

"G-Good. Do you want to tell me w-what's going on?"

You began to tell him what was going on, stopping here and there when talking about it made you feel panicky all over again. When this would happen, he would hold you a little tighter to make you feel more secure, and tell you it was gonna be okay and to take your time.

Eventually you got through talking about it, but you were still crying.

"Y-You're doing so good angel." Tamaki whispered, wiping away your tears with his thumb and pushing your hair out of your face. "W-We s-shouldn't go out though."

"I-I'm s-sorry- I know how much you wanted to..." you said through your tears.

"Don't be s-sorry, bunny. Y-You can't help it a-and I was n-nervous too."

"O-Okay.." you said quietly, relacing against him slightly.

"L-Let's get comfy a-and stay in tonight. W-We can order food and w-watch movies."

"T-That sounds good." you said softly, smiling a little bit.

"C-Can I help you c-change into y-your PJ's?" he asked.

You nodded. After he helped you change, he tied your hair back for you. Then, he promised to be back. He came back 10 minutes later in his PJ's with a blanket. He put the blanket down and pulled you to lay on top of him again.

"A-Are you still a-anxious bunny?" he asked quietly.

"A-A little. But I'll be alright. T-Thank you, Amajiki." you said with a soft smile.

You relaxed against him, trying to come down from your panic. You focused on his heart beating, how it sounded and felt againt your cheek, and how he was rubbing small circles on your arm and how much it tickled. You both eventually fell asleep. For once, neither of you felt anxious.

#tamaki amajiki #tamaki fluff #tamaki x reader #mha tamaki #comfort #tamaki imagine #b.favs

[pepperonijem]

IDK Single || Steve Rogers

Masterlist

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: you and Steve have broken up and although you try to hide it, you just don’t know how to be single. {Neighbors!AU; written for @bucky-at-bedtime’s 1.5k writing challenge}

Wordcount: 1.7k

Warnings: drink dranking, also it’s a lil angsty?

A/N: this is based off of the song “IDK Single” by LOOTE. Give it a listen! They have a bunch of good post-breakup songs that are upbeat and make you feel a lil bit better even when you’re single. I stan them. (also shoutout to my girl Upo for beta reading this!!) And a big frick u to writer’s block, this is the first thing I’ve written in a month that I feel proud of

Thump. Thump. Thump. Was it the bassline of the song or was that the blood pounding in your head?  Was that a pair of hands snaking around your waist or was it just the alcohol taking a toll on your liver? Honestly, at this point, was there even a difference? Every sensation was dulled down and reduced to nothing.

The only music you heard was when he was speaking, and the only time you felt electricity was when he was touching you, but he took all of that away with him when he walked out of your life. Unfortunately however, he was still your neighbor, so most of your nights were spent trying to get away from him and getting him out of your thoughts. So here you were, at some random party at a club in SoHo trying to start over with whoever was grinding against you right now -- it definitely wasn’t him. But you wished it was. Deep down, you really did. You tried to swing your hips with the beat and focus on the drunken whispers being spoken into your ear, but it was no use, because it wasn’t his voice. And well, you can’t help it. You don’t know how to be single.

“I guess this is it.” His voice was tired. Tired of shouting, tired of calling out to you, tired of trying. It wasn’t sadness that laced his voice anymore, it wasn’t even anger. Emotion had left him weeks ago. “I guess so.” The voice that escaped your lips was not your own. It was the voice of a broken person, and you were done trying to hide it. “Goodbye, Steve.”

That was the end of almost a year of sleepless nights and spontaneous dates and whispered I love you’s, but unfortunately not the end of your feelings for him. It had been over a month since you last saw Steve. He was a man of routine, and you were thankful for it because it made it so much easier for you to avoid him. You spent your days holed up in your bedroom watching Netflix with your headphones in so that Steve wouldn’t be able to hear you watching The Princess Diaries for the 26th time, and you only left your apartment when you knew he was in his. You often went out to clubs and parties every night in other parts of New York to avoid him and his friends, and only came home after 3 am when you knew Steve was deep asleep. Sometimes, you swear you can hear his faint snoring through the thin wall that separated your bedrooms, and the sound made your heart skip. You would mentally curse yourself, but then stay up for another hour reminiscing and missing the feeling of Steve’s skin on yours.

You thought about that night constantly. His voice still ringing in your head, drowning out the upbeat music that washed over the club. You stepped away from the dance floor, having to pry the guy’s hands off your waist, and headed towards the bar. The lingering thoughts of Steve were a sign that you were not intoxicated enough. You sat down on a stool and flagged down the bartender. “Give me a double of whatever your strongest thing is here,” you asked. The   bartender gave you a concerned look but then slid over a shot glass. You downed it quickly and savored the burn of the alcohol down your throat. You spun around in your stool to look around at the sea of people and all of a sudden you felt trapped. Part of you wanted to fool around, find someone new, but the other part of you just wanted to be alone.

In another club in another part of the city, Steve leaned against the bar counter, sipping on a beer. The alcohol had virtually no effect on him, but he liked the comfort it brought. He looked around, and sighed. “God, it’s crowded,” he said aloud. He turned around, expecting to see your face, but instead saw an empty bar stool. It was the fourth time tonight he’s done that, tried speaking to you but forgetting you were gone. He made eye contact with Bucky who was standing across the room with his arm wrapped around a pretty girl.He looked at Steve with concern in his eyes, but Steve smiled and raised his beer up and Bucky smiled in satisfaction before redirecting his attention. Steve’s smile faltered once out of Bucky’s gaze, but he hoped it was enough for Bucky to think Steve was doing okay. This is the third party Bucky brought him to in the last two weeks, but each one seemed even more draining than the last. He really thought that after two weeks he’d feel better, over you even, but if he was being honest, you had him fuc-- Steve was distracted from his thoughts by a tap on his shoulder.

He turned around quickly to see an almost familiar face. It was almost yours. He pasted a smile on his face once again and smiled at the stranger who was now speaking to him. He had absolutely no idea what they were saying, as all Steve could think about was if their nose was just a little bit smaller, or their eyes just a little bit brighter, he would be looking at you. Steve nodded in response, just to be polite, and was honestly surprised when all of a sudden there was a napkin with a phone number stuffed into his hand. The stranger was gone again and Steve looked down at the number. He shoved it into his pocket, but he knew he wasn’t going to be calling any time soon. He almost felt guilty about it, but he knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere and he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. He really thought that by now he’d feel different, but he still missed you. Bucky walked over to him with the same girl he was with earlier and pat him on the back. “I saw you talking to someone earlier, pal.” Bucky teased. “Did’ya get a number?”

Steve looked down and let out a sad chuckle. “Yeah, I did,” he admitted. He of course left out the fact that he won’t even call it. Bucky playfully punched his shoulder. “And who’s this lovely lady?” he asked Bucky.

“This is Dot,” Bucky introduced. She reached out and shook Steve’s hand politely. “We’re about to head out, maybe take a walk.” Bucky wrapped an arm around Dot and she looked up lovingly at him. “Do you have cab fare for tonight?”

Steve nodded in response. “Yeah, no worries, you two have a good night.” He waved goodbye to the couple as they made their way out of the building. He looked down at his watch and saw that it was already 2 in the morning and set his beer back on the counter. He followed them out to the street and quickly hailed down a cab, giving the driver his address and asking him to step on it. Steve didn’t mind being home late, really, but he knew how you were. He knew that you haven’t been coming home until he did, because he knew you were trying to avoid him. He could very well be out until dawn, but he also knew you hated being out past 3, because you thought it was the haunted hour. Steve had always teased you for your superstition, but he had taken your fears to heart. He also knew that you tried to stay out after him because it helped you to feel like you were winning. Even now, after losing you, he still wanted you to win.

Within a few minutes he was back at his apartment. He unlocked his door and walked in, enjoying the quiet and the stillness of his home. He changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt and plopped down on his bed. He folded his arms under his head and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for the sweet release of sleep to take him over.

You stumbled your way back to the bar, demanding for another shot of tequila. “Sorry pal, but I gotta cut you off, you’ve clearly had too much,” the bartender reprimanded. You huffed in response but didn’t argue. “I’ll call you a cab, it’s almost 3,” she said. You nodded and waited on a bar stool until she let you know that the cab was waiting outside. You hopped in and managed to give the driver your address, despite slurring your words. You dozed off in the car but woke back up when the driver came to an abrupt stop at your building.

The stairs were your next obstacle and you were doing fine until they started moving like the magic stairs in Hogwarts. You took your time with each step and by the time you made it to your door, it was well past 3 am. You felt jitters go up your spine as your mind wandered off to the scary stories your cousins used to tell you when you were younger. You managed to pull out your keys and tried hard to jam them into the lock. Unfortunately, you were way too intoxicated to have any control over your fine motor skills and you relented to just banging against the door in hopes it would just magically open.

Well, in this case magic was real, because after several minutes of desperate banging, the door opened.

“Steve?” Your voice came out as barely more than a whisper. Even though the alcohol blurred your vision, you could recognize the scent of his cologne and the width of his shoulders anywhere. His presence being so close to you overwhelmed your senses and you began to sober up enough to realize that you had been banging on the wrong door this whole time. You cleared your throat and looked at Steve apologetically. “I-I’m sorry I thought this was my door, but I guess I was knocking on yours. I’ll just—“ you turned to walk over to the door beside Steve’s, and pulled your keys out once again.

Before you could unlock your door however, Steve grabbed hold of your forearm, sending shivers through you and making you pause to look back at him. For the first time in weeks you saw something in his eyes: pain. Dark circles rimmed his eyes and what used to be washed of electric blue in his irises were dulled down to a stormy gray and you felt a sting in your heart at the sight. His eyebrows furrowed together as he began to speak. “Please,” he begged. “Come home.”

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[ezeelife-blog1]

Kissing Boys, Dreaming Girls

Me.

Since the age of 5 I knew I was different.

I mean, I was the same as other kids when it came to toys, cartoons, films and music…but when it came to who I wanted to play with, and get a cuddle from…it was always about girls.

But this was weird! Every romantic scene on TV would involve a boy and a girl – never a girl and another girl. So what was wrong with me? Surely I needed to stop these feelings, and try and be ‘normal’.

This is my earliest memory how I would suppress my true self. And I became really good at it. So much so, I forced myself to find guys attractive. And it worked. I had crushes on boy bands, actors, even the odd friend at school.

Year 8, and I had my first boyfriend. Michael was a cool guy, one of the coolest in my year. We broke up after a week – actually after our first kiss (which was awful!!). I remember thinking how much I wished it was nicer, because then I could stop thinking about girls. But I didn’t. I knew kissing a girl would have been nicer, softer, and way more exciting than what I had just experienced.

And so I carried on through my school and university years this way. Dating boys, but dreaming girls.

Not once did I ever cross paths with another lesbian…not once!

My mum.

Me and my mother shared a wonderful relationship (I realise I used the past tense in that sentence). Really wonderful. Home was cosy because of her. Our house was full of laughter. Dad was at work most of the time, and so me, mum and my sister would just have fun every day.

Growing up in a Mauritian household was very different to anything my friends would tell me about. We were unique. Different language, mindsets…we dipped in and out of our Muslim religion. I grew up knowing I was Muslim, and yet knowing it was ok to drink (my Dad loved his Guinness), it was ok to dance, and it was ok to have fun. BUT, some things were not ok. Like it wasn’t ok to go out clubbing, it wasn’t ok to embarrass your parents, and it definitelywas not ok to be gay.

Mum was always proud of my sister and me. On the phone she would always take pride in saying to her mates ‘Yes, well as least my girls are sensible…No, they would never embarrass us like that…’

Once my mum even asked me why I didn’t have a boyfriend. I was at uni at the time, and flippantly replied ‘because I don’t like boys’. Her face was an absolute picture of horror. She looked at me and asked ‘Oh my god, you’re not a lesbian are you???’. That was my chance. But no, her face frightened me. I couldn’t tell her, and make her face stay like that forever! So I simply replied: ‘No, I mean I don’t like the boys I have met.’

The marriage.

Fast forward a few years, and the inevitable happened…I got married. To be fair I did fall in love with a man. And did agree to marry him (for the sake of this story I will call him Nestor). By then I had accepted that this was the life I had to lead. So, I did it. I let the normal life I was conditioned to lead. I can’t complain. I was very lucky, I had a lovely life. The best thing from this life was the birth of my daughter. It was the most wonderful moment, and the best thing that had ever happened to me at that point of my life. I fell into the role of being a mother easily. Of course, the beginning was tough, but once I had settled into motherhood – it was wonderful. I returned to work part-time after a year at home. I struggled with the idea, do I become a full-time stay at home mum, or do I return to work and try the ‘working-mum’ thing? I chose the latter – and this is the decision that would change my life forever.

Work.

I worked in a courthouse, part-time to begin with. When my daughter turned 3 I started full-time. I loved my job. Loved the people, loved the work, and loved being a working mum. I would finish work at a reasonable time, collect my daughter from the grandparents and rush home to play. When her father would arrive home, it would be bedtime for her, dinner time for us, then a relaxing evening of chillaxing. I lived a fantasy in my mind though. In my mind, at night, I was gay. My life was as it was, but I was with a woman. She was a faceless woman (I am aware this sounds scary), I simply couldn’t picture what she looked like. I can’t explain why it was that I chose to live this way in my mind. I wasn’t unhappy in my real life, but there was something cosy about living a fantasy life at night. It genuinely made me contently fall asleep, just thinking of being in a woman’s arms.

This was how life went on, and while it did something strange started to happen. Me and my husband (sounds weird using that term now!) started to do our own thing. I enjoyed hobbies such as fitness and gardening, whilst he enjoyed studying and playing videogames. It didn’t bother us that we enjoyed our own company, because that was us. We enjoyed hanging out with one another, but did our own thing. It didn’t matter if he was out on a Friday night, because I LOVED my own company. BUT, this led to a new hobby…

Books.

I have always loved to read. But my Kindle offered me something new. The ability to search and buy a new book at any time of the day (or night). One evening I stumbled upon a new book of my favourite genre: murder-mystery. However, this one was different. The main character was a lesbian. I couldn’t believe it. A lesbian, an actual lesbian. Until now, these women had only existed in my mind – and maybe in the odd movie. But to read about her in a book, left nothing to the imagination (especially the naughty bits). I had unlocked a gate. I started reading one after the other. Every night, after all the chores of the evening were done, out came the books. And to be honest, I did love the murder/mystery elements, but it was the romance between the characters of every book that would capture me each time.

My fantasies started to grow. All of a sudden I wasn’t dreaming about women at night to help me sleep, but I was day-dreaming about women. Where it had previously been ok to live a life with my husband where it was cool to do our own thing in the evenings. I found myself looking forward to those moments, yet feeling sad that I was missing out on something that I wanted with someone else. No one in particular mind, just another being…a female being.

Erin.

It sounds cliché. But not once did I go searching for her, she just appeared one day – at work. For years I worked there and not once did my eyes ever stray onto anyone. Sure, you might check the crowd for a hot woman, but not oncewas there ever a hot woman where I worked. Until one morning, driving into work, I was stopped by an officer of the court directing a van into the building. She was beautiful. Literally took my breath way (again, I am aware everything I am saying is cliché – but it is all true!). just as quickly as she appeared, she quickly disappeared into the building. And I never saw her again for months. Again, I was a married woman, so I was never going to seek her out, nor was I ever going to ask around about the hot newbie woman. It just wasn’t something I would ever do to my husband. I respected him and my daughter too much.

But…my fantasy woman finally had a face! I don’t know what it was about her. But her face soon became implanted in my mind. I would think about her a lot. I’d wonder what she was like as a person, was she funny, what her voice sounded like. It was a proper crush. My first realcrush because let’s face it, my Angelina Jolie crush clearly didn’t count.

Busy months went by, birthdays, engagements, work, typical life stuffs. One day during a long court case, I was ploughing away through paperwork, when I looked up and saw her! She was there at the back of the room. Where she came from, and when she walked in I did not know, yet there she was. She was truly beautiful. We locked eyes for a split second. So quick, till this day I still don’t know whether it happened or not. All those books I had read suddenly made sense. Reading them you would think that a lot of it is made up, and so cheesy. But god, it was all true. True beauty can literally stop you in your tracks. Make your heart thump. And make you forget yourself. But of course, I was married, so in my head and heart although I had never felt this way about a woman before, I was able to draw a line and just appreciate her for who she was – but more importantly, the wonderful feeling she had given me. She truly helped me unlock a gate I never thought could be unlocked. And that’s all I needed.

By the end of the day I had learned her name. Of course, me being the friendly person I am, I had to introduce myself to her, the way I’d do to all the new people I’d meet. Her first words to me weren’t great – she thought I was another woman who worked with me! I corrected her with my name, saw she was a little embarrassed and made a little joke to let her know it was ok.

That was it. For the rest of the day I felt like I was on cloud nine. At home I was able to carry on as normal, putting my daughter to bed, cooking dinner and doing all the usual things. But in the evening, I fell asleep smiling. The stories I read were true. Beautiful women do exist, and I was clearly gay.

Coming out to myself.

I have struggled to sit and write this chapter, for many reasons. Having spent years pushing down my true feelings, it was overwhelming for them to resurface in such a powerful and real way. I experienced a mixture of emotions. Happiness. Light-bulb moment that I was gay and couldn’t hide it anymore. Guilt. Sadness. All mixed into one. It sucked. In life, I thought I was happy, my daughter made me happy, and my husband provided a life for us. Nestor was my best friend, and we made a wonderful home based on that. We had fun. But on my part, my daughter was the glue to all that. My yearning for being with a woman had somehow shot out of my mind and morphed into the real world. But I wasn’t the type of person who would ever act on that. I believed in the notion of marriage. I frowned upon people who would flirt, or took it further with others, when they were married. For me when you were committed to someone, then that was that. Plus, I wasn’t suffering in my marriage, I just felt there was no connection there anymore.

Erin��again.

All of a sudden she was everywhere. After almost a year of working together, we kept on bumping into each other. She would end up being in my courtroom just by chance. We would spend every available minute chatting away. She was funny. And had a wonderful outlook on life. She found me fascinating. She had never met a Muslim woman, so found it fascinating that I was nothing like she had read in news. I didn’t wear a hijab, yet I was fasting for Ramadan. I didn’t wear a hijab, yet I spoke and acted like a normal human being. Nothing like the media portrayed Muslim women. We would spend hours talking about her life, my life, and just life in general. She was wonderful.

My religion.

Backtracking a little I know. But religion has always been something at the forefront of my life – and yet it never felt like I was religious as my friends at school. Firstly, no one in my immediate family wore hijabs (the headscarf), or had a beard. My dad enjoyed the occasional Guinness during the weekends, and my mum loved to party and entertain guests. Behaviour that you would not expect from a Muslim family. However, during Ramadan my mum, my sister and me would always keep our fasts. We would pray, listen to holy music, not watch tv, and do all the things that a typical Muslim family would do. But then after Eid, things would go back as they were.

My family, however, were very traditional. Where they lacked in following their faith, they made up by following their culture. Mauritius is a tiny island, and with it comes my parents’ generation where the majority would have a very particular mindset.

1.    Ideally marry another Mauritian, if not then marry a Muslim, if not then they must convert to Islam.

2.    Never embarrass your parents.

3.    Don’t give ‘people’ a chance to talk about us because you went against #2.

4.    Parents are always right – obey their rules and all will be ok.

5.    Gays do not exist.

Now I can’t speak for all Mauritians out there – and there may be some who read this who get really offended. But this was the culture that I grew up in, and it was the image that was portrayed to me. I was conditioned to do all of the above. And although I was truly blessed by having wonderful parents who took care of us, paid for our education so we didn’t have to take any loans, fed us and taught us to be kind and forgiving – they cut my wings. And I guess it was inevitable that it took 30 years for them to grow…and for me to do what I eventually did.

Coming out to a friend.

I had no idea how Erin felt for me. I would see it in her eyes that she cared for me a lot – and at times I would think I saw more. But never did I ask, and never did she say. What I did know is how I felt for her. I loved her. I don’t know how it happened, or when it happened, but she was in my heart. I couldn’t do anything without thinking of her. My weekends would be spent wondering what she was doing. She was with someone else, so I wouldn’t text her in case I said something silly and got her into trouble. Not that I would have done anyways…I had my own issue to deal with – how do I tell my Nestor that I’m in love with a woman?

But tell him I did… and being the friend he was – he understood. I was honest. Told him I had feelings for Erin. In some ways I felt he already knew. We had grown so distant – but our friendship was there. He listened to me explain what I was feeling. Explain that I didn’t know what to do because I had a life with him. We had a daughter. But my head and my heart was somewhere else. I needed help. And help he did…he told me I should follow my heart. He didn’t want to live a life where he/I/we were not happy. Whatever it took , we would make this work. I was lucky. And make it work we did – but I will get into that later.

Back to Erin.

I did everything mentioned above without speaking to Erin. But I couldn’t carry on lying to myself, or my him. He deserved to be in relationship with someone that was on the same page as him. I respected him too much to carry on living such a lie. So, I told him – but didn’t tell her. I clearly enjoy making things difficult for myself right?? Erin was with someone else. They had plans for a life together, and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin that for her. So that night I planned to simply keep quiet about what I had just done. Maybe one day, there would be a chance for her and I – but for now I will just take her friendship.

The next morning, I went to work. Everything seemed surreal at home. Nestor and I still had tea, still said our goodbyes, and made plans for what we were going to have for dinner. It seemed we had just fallen into the role of friends (even it was the calm before the storm that was perfectly fine – it was how we needed to manage it). At some point during the day, I met Erin. I tried my absolute best to be normal, but she knew something was up. So I simply told her that I had ended my marriage, and left it at that. This was when she told me that she too had ended her relationship that very night. How, and why we did this at the same time without conferring with one another is one of life’s greatest unknowns. But what we did know was we are free now to declare to one another what we were too afraid to say before. We had fallen in love. At some point during our hours of conversations, and laughter, we fell in love. And it felt wonderful, and so right. Alarm bells were sounding in my head, but in my heart, I knew I had done the right thing.

Building a foundation.

Our first few months together as a couple were like no other. We didn’t do the usual things that new couples got to do…dates every night, short weekend getaways, spending the night together – no, none of those wonderful things! We had bigger fish to fry. First thing on the agenda, Erin had to meet my daughter. Second thing on the agenda, we had to phase out our family unit so that the transition to her new life would seem normal. Finally, Erin would have to meet my good friend Nestor. I wanted an unconventional family. And all three of us agreed that it was something that we would willingly do in order to build a unit for our daughter. It was not going to be easy, but we had a goal and a plan, and we stuck to it.

Honesty. This was key here. When me and Erin got together I lay all my cards on the table. If she wanted me she would have to accept my baggage. That baggage included a daughter, and for the sake of that daughter, she would have to accept her father. Those same terms were agreed by Nestor because above all he agreed that he did not want our daughter to suffer. So if that meant swallowing his pride to meet and try and get on with Erin – then so be it. Operation ‘phasing-out’ entailed him and I continuing to live together (separate bedrooms). My evening would remain the same in that I would still cook and tuck her to bed. But once she was asleep, and he got back in from work, I would spend the evening with Erin, then return home later. I would be home in case she woke up during the night, and I would to be there for her breakfast. Her life did not change, but ours did.

A few months went this way, until one day he and Erin met for the first time. Tea. Tea is one of life’s most wonderful glue. We sat, drank tea, and made small talk. Erin and Nestor got on really well. Got to talking, and before they knew it they were making little jokes here and there, and the ice was slowly starting to melt. My daughter was loving life, because all of a sudden everyone was together and it all felt cosy. She would sit and play her dolls, whilst we just learned how to be with one another.

Another week went by, and then there was dinner. The next week we went to a restaurant. And a few months, and dinners, after that – we went on holiday. We became this unit, an unconventional unit that somehow made sense.

Nestor and I lived with each this way for a year. During that year I was able to find and purchase a home exactly five minutes away from Nestor. We did this so that our daughter would be able to walk back and forth between her two homes, as if they were one. We were able to amicably finalise our divorce. But most importantly, we were able to learn how to be with one another. Accept the situation, and build a new relationship based on it. Only when we were completely comfortable with everything, did we feel ready to tell the parents. This did not go down well.

Losing my mum.

Nestor and I did this together. We asked for our parents to join us for tea. And told them. They were distraught. Completely and utterly distraught. This was probably the worst moment of this entire story. Our parents were happy, they got on with one another, they adored their granddaughter, and were just coasting through life. This brought them back down to reality, brought them back to square one. After the initial shock Nestor’s parents were the first to calm down. They asked me about my plans, asked if I needed help, and were genuinely concerned. I mean they were clearly angry, but they respected our decision and kept their reservations to themselves. Till this day we have kept in close contact with them. Nestor’s mother adores our son, and thinks Erin is wonderful. Time seemed to help them heal.

My parents on the other hand were not as helpful. They withdrew. Completely went into their own minds and hid there. Four years later they are still hiding, sadly.

There were no longer dinner parties, music, or laughter. Just sadness and loneliness. They didn’t want to face the ‘whispers’ that ‘people’ would talk. Ask them what ‘people’ and they would never give you an answer. They just had (have) it in their heads that everyone were talking about them. They were embarrassed and ashamed. I had done the one thing they had always asked me not to do.

For four years we did keep in contact – via my daughter. They would still offer to collect her from school, just so they could get a chance to see her. Which was nice because I would never deprive them of that. However, they would not talk to me. Not even when I would go and collect my daughter, my parents would not talk to me. I have since stopped trying (mostly because I no longer know what to say to them). I know they are there. They are ok, and healthy. That is all that matters to me.

Wait…what? I thought this was meant to be a happy story.

This IS a happy story.

My daughter is happy, she has two wonderful homes with parents (and guardians) who love her very much. She’s a cool kid. So proud that I am gay, and so proud that I chose Erin. They have grown a wonderful maternal bond over the years – it has been beautiful to see it grow.

My ex is happy, having travelled the world and met an amazing partner during that time…AND lost loads of weight – he is happy.

Me and Erin are happy, we have a wonderful home, a son – another story for another time! He is a beautiful little boy. Watching him explore the world is a pleasure. And knowing that he is lucky to be growing up part of a beautiful family makes our hearts smile. He is adorned by us all. Oh, and we have a cat.

For the best part of four years, every Sunday both households take it in turns to cook a family dinner. ‘Family Sunday’ has since welcomed his partner, who is French born so has a wonderful love for cheese – so we do enjoy her food! The evenings either involve playing board games, or just talking around the table. We are unconventional, but we work.

Yes, I miss my parents tremendously, but I know they are ok. They get on with life, and in a way are happy with the way things are. I am not in the family anymore, so I can’t embarrass them. They see my sister often, and she visits me often, so that just works.

I guess I wanted to write this all down to help others out there. Other people who are stuck in a life where they are not free to be themselves. Yes, I was very lucky to have people in my life to support me. But, a lot of this happened because of honesty. Be honest with yourself, and with others – and something, or someone, out there will just help make it all work. Somehow.

#gay muslim #gay muslim woman #lesbian muslim #gay family #lesbian family #muslim women #the bold type #inclusive mosque initiative

[mommamule]

My chiiiiilllld

Bought as fodder a while back and spoiled shitless 👌 gaze upon her greatness °^° (and art I made for her AND an SD adopt Ziggie made me on FR) GAZE UPO- OH CRAP I TRIPPED *anonymous stumbling noises*

[pawprinterfanfic]

Hi. I just stumble upo your fanfic simple pleasures and read it all in 3 days. I can't wait to read new chapter, please tell me you'll update soon. You are incredibly talented and it's amazing how the words you write make really vivid pictures in my head. Have a nice day!

WOW! First of all, thank you for reading this fic. You are very dedicated to read it all in three days! Thanks for committing so much time to it! :) Also, thank you so much for reaching out to me to let me know your thoughts. I really enjoy reading these messages and I really appreciate it.

I hope to update soon! Right now, I’m working away on finishing changing tides (my other Bellarke WIP) so I can focus all of my time on Simple Pleasures again!! I’m so excited to get back into that fic. I have the next 12 or 13 chapters pre-written, so I’ll get to work on editing really soon.

Thank you for your compliments. They mean the world to me. I’m so glad you enjoy what I write :)

I hope you have a great day too. Thank you for this message!!

#ask #answered #anonymous #simple pleasures #im crying #this made my day #uhhhhhhhh im so touched #my heart #wowowowowow #thank you for reading #thanks for the ask #i hope you have a wonderful day

[blank-nova-trash]

Drarry - Ignite The Storm. Prt 3.

"Are you really okay?"

"I don't know"

"thats okay I mean well this must be hard for you and its okay to not be okay"

"Thank you" Harry felt comforted by those words, in a time when Draco could of really tore into him he decided to be helpful, it was heartwarming.

"You want a game of wizard chess?"

Harry perked up a bit, sitting up more on the sofa. "yeah go on then though I'm not that good"

"You only think that cause you only ever really play against the weasel and he is a natural professional"

"My my. Was that a complement Malloy? And toward a Weasel nonetheless."

"Oh stuff it. If you ever tell anyone, not that they would believe you anyway, but ill charm a storm and lock you outside on in."

Harry laughed, standing up and stretching. "where is the set then?"

"Through the other room ill have to dust it off though will only take a moment"

"Okay" Harry smiled warmly, walking past him to the kitchen he stopped at the door frame leaning against it. "want a sandwich?"

"Sure, and tea if you don't mind"

"Got it. I'll try not get it all over myself this time"

Draco smirked "you took the words right out my mouth"

"Do you take butter on your bread?"

"Of course, who doesn't butter their bread?"

Harry shrugged "someone on a diet"

Draco gasped "Are you trying to call me fat!?"

Harry wasn't even thinking it but it made him laugh then he flickered a sly smirk at Draco. Something he never thought hed ever see it was playful and dark yet his voice came across almost innocent as a child. "No just your mouth"

Draco didn't have anything to say back, Harry took that as a victory and started dancing into the kitchen. Draco smiled as he walk down the hall to retrieve the chess set. He realized that through them talking Harry hadn't reacted once to the thunder and lightning. Perhaps it was the music drowning it out but he liked to imagine otherwise.

They sat up most of the night playing wizard chess. They heckled each other and aughed and managed to get food all over the place from fighting about who was and wasn't cheating. As the fire started to slowly dim they set up candles and the orange glow twinckled around the room, makingit feel as through nothing outside these walls existed. draco shivered more frequently as the fire dimmed and harry joked that he had all that money but still couldn't get practical pajamas - I mean how is silk supposed to keep anyone warm. Draco told harry that he wouldbhelp him clean upo in a minute that he was just going to close his eye for a fe seconds. When Harry began to hear heavier breathing from a curled up figure he wasn't surprised that he was left to put away the set and cleanup the food which most of it was Dracos anyway. - he amost inhaled his food from not eating dinner. Though it was a slight bother Harry couldn't blame him for falling asleep they had beenup so long it was nearly morning.

After the last of the mess was cleared, he walked over to the record player. His hands struttered in hesistation to tun it off. he glaced around, the rain still endlessly tumbling down, he culd ever so slightly still hear the thunder and see flashes of the lightnight. he swallowed thuickly trying to keep his heart reate at a normal level, his eyes landed on Draco. he had been so kind tonght, comforting him... Harry shut off the record player and instantly his mind and nerve ending leaped into high alert. he made his way back to the sofa to wake Draco up so he would go sleep in his bed. A flash rattled off quickly followed by booming thunder - Harry stumbled back and landed on the sofa nearly on top of Draco. He almost laughed at how ridiculase this all was. The boy who lived coming un done because of a natural occurrenc and some weather. his hand was on Draco arm and he felt ice cold. in fact he swore he heard his teeth chattering slightly.

Harry sighed and without a second though took off his jumper, its the least he could do in return for him being more than torable, helpful even, in such a sensitive time where Draco could of really took advantage of him and tortured the living hell out of him. Maybe he wasn't that bad...to tell the truth he never wanted to believe that he was anything but good - Harry believed that everyone made mistakes and sure Draco made more than a few but ther was something about him that made Harry not want to turn his back on him...just yet... He softly turned him over blonde platrum locks flopped over his brow, long lashes peacefully resting together, his soft sharp yet delicate features relaxed in such an innocent way that you wouldn't want to even believe that this near angle could do harm.

Harry shook his head not shocked by the familiar thoughts but moving them away as they where hardly acceptable. He carefully pulled his jumper on Draco it was quite a site to see the proud snake wearing not only griffindore colours but muggle clothes - he only wished he had a camera to capture this. He seemed to be warming up a bit now...he didn't want to wake him anymore...something felt so inviting. maybe it was the way one of his arms fellopen hanging off the side of the sofa,maybe it was the way the moonlight mixed with the dimming twinkle of the candles dancing such beautiful shade of warmth over his figure or perhaps it was simply because it was him... Draco Lucious Malfoy - they boy he could never escape.

He sighed. It was pointless. He couldn't not recognize the fact that even in a storm this guy made him feel like it was the middle of summer. He couldn't stop it, the thing just happened and when he realized it had happened he didn't want to change it - he collapsed into his open arms and buried his face in his chest. Harry decided right then and their his favorite smell was minty lavender. he deeply inhaled the sent and even the flashes of lightning and crashes of thunder didn't scare him as much anymore partly because he felt safe and partly because it frightened him even more to feel safe in the arms of this impossible being.

Draco started to slowly wake, he felt heavy, warm and partly well rested. the backof his eye lids where slightly light up amber as the morning sloly flooding in the early dawn birds chirping carelessly away. The room had the faint smell of candle wax and smoke as the candles had burned out to stop some point during the night, but there was another one - something he had never really smelly before yet it seemed the most familiar thing to him - dark chocolate and cinnamon. His eyes slowly flttered open a small yawn puhhing it way from the back of his throat. His hand practically slapped over his mouth to keep quiet as he was fighting back with everything he had ot to squeal in happiness as he saw a completely zeroed out, black mess of hair and askew glasses snuggling into his chest, legs intertwined with his. It was shaking to say the least but /not particularly a bad thing, thouugh he still had to yawn. he carefully let it out as quiet as he could, then carefully lifted his glasses off putting them on the coffee table, his face was so beautiful he was almost jealous. Draco snaked his arm around Harrys back pulling him closer into a hug - he just stared at him not wanting the moment to end but his eyes fell heavy and he began to slowly dose off to the sounds of Harrys small snores - warm in Harrys jumper, fuzzy from inhaling the sent, content in cuddling the idiot, yes definitely out of character for a Malfoy its a good thing he didn't want to be one in the future then.

The next Draco woke the comforting weight and intoxicating sent was gone. He sat up stiff, from sleeping on the sofa. Clattering came from the kitchen, he stretched and rubbed his sore muscles, gliding over to the kitchen. Humming filled the air. Draco leant against the door frame watching Harry put the finishing flourishes onto the plates, he picked them and and spunt around - instanty hi eyes locked on that smug face and his humming stopped. red crept over Harrys face, he quickly averted his eyes and placed the plates down across from eachother on the table.

"i made you breakfast- well actually I made myself breakfast and felt bad that I didn't make you any so I ended up making some for you too..."

"thanks" he smiled at the unusually fumbling boy

Harry sat down, eyes glued to his food as if it was the most interesting thing ion the world he had ever laid eyes on. Draco was following him with his eyes as he sat down. what was even going on right now? half way through them eating Harry finally looked up at him properly. Draco caught his eye and they just sat like that, until Draco huffed.

"are you ever going to say something, Potter, or are you waiting until I can eventually read your brain waves? not that there must be many considering you are acting like such a timid child." although his words seemed harsh a playful smile glinted in his eyes.

"all the thanks I get for making you breakfast."

"all the thanks I get for comforting you all night"

"oh yes cause accusing me of cheating ad making me clean up your wasted food is so comforting you arse."

"lets not get into the cheating debate again shall we...since I was clearly correct." he added the last bit quickly

Harry decided not to get into the matter either last thing he wanted was for his labor over this food to go to waste all over the walls. he Sighed and took a sip of juice as he took in the sight before him, remembering how warm those arms held him last night....this was hardly the time again to be thinking of such things he is being such a narcissistic dollop but then he supposed that was basically the majority of Draco's personality. Then he noticed his jumper...still on him...how had it not registered yet?

"youre still wearing my jumper?"

Draco looked down at the jumper then up to Harry with a shrug "yeah?"

"thought the muggle material would of burned your pure blood skin by now."

"I like it""

Harry was taken back by the comment not only did he not return a snarky comment but he seemed genuine when he said what he had.

"Really?"

"...I suppose so - I mean its no double stuffed dragon Hyde but its nice...warm..."

"Okay. Its one of my oldest jumpers I like the charm of it, to be honest I cant remember if I washed it before packing it I'm sorry does it smell okay?"

"Its fine" was all Draco could muster himself to say without breaking out into a grin.

They finished up their meals, Harry took both the plates over to the sink.

"Coffee?" he offered

#drarry #harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry fluff #fluff #drarry short fic #forehead kisses #wizarding world #hot chocolate #record player #storm #thunder and lightning #romance #mystery

[swayyyy]

just random shots of a field I stumbled upo

#dunno how to tag this #dunno how to tag ANYTHING #how do people do this??? #i for one can't think of anything to tag this with #making it meta :P