#i stayed up watching reality tv w my sister it was v noice

[spiritcc]

What to watch with: Innokenty Smoktunovsky

Heyo peepers it is this time again, me cherry picking actors from Russian Holmes adaptations and acting like you’re interested in checking out their other works. If you somewhat appreciated Yank the last time then prepare to strain your memory big time as today it is the time of That Prime Minister Dud From The First XX Century Approaches Episode Remember The Missing Letter Plot Yeah That One The Second Guy Yes - Innokenty Smoktunovsky. 

Welcom, babes, this man is the most legendary actor of the Soviet cinema. Well, let’s tone it down a bit just out of basic modesty and say “one of the most legendary” but you know how things really are, this is the Alpha Slav of Soviet acting. Incidentally, one of the newest additions to my “Actors Welcome To Raw Me” list, because telling you now, ma dudes, that legendary status? no fucking lie. The man is a Legend. And boy oh boy his acting must be seen. So without further ado:

1. Hamlet (1964)

Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" (c) My Immortal

Smoktun’s involvement: Hamlet, main role

2 episodes, ~1h11mins each | Youtube, English subtitles | Both eps in one

What and why: hohoho. So, you know that Shakespearean Delivery(tm) and actors overhamming the text that sounds like trying to understand English while having a stroke, and your antagonistic relationship with the classics and boring ass adaptations your English teacher showed to you and you questioning your tastes and wondering who teh fuck actually enjoys all this? Well, this movie demonstrates that you were not wrong for a second, it’s just all these Shakespereans who are up their own asses to realise the scale of bullshit. THIS MOVIE is a fucking masterpiece, and became one of my faves pretty much instantly. All of the actors truly LIVE on screen, just like the good ol’ Stanislavsky wanted, the drama is real, the emotions are raw, it feels ALIVE and ENGAGING. The actual use of the scenery and black and white is even more spectacular, the views and the scale of production will hit your ass almost in every shot, the movie is very stylish and makes its b&w palette a whole important feature. And, obviously, Smoktun himself - that goes without saying. He is emo, he is angery, he is sexey, he is draco everything. I recommend this with all my heart.

2. Beware of the Automobile (1966)

when will the gay feelings end

Smoktun’s involvement: Yuri Detochkin, main role

~1h28mins | Youtube, English subtitles (with an annoying delay) | 1080p babe

What and why: an extremely noice comedy about a CRIMINAL, who STEALS CARS, in order to SELL THEM, and sends the money to ORPHANAG- wait wat. This horrible CRIMINAL is very PROFESSIONAL and demonstrates his evident ability NOT TO SHIT HIMSELF CONSTANTLY, and he is also NOT A LOSER, and this film is actually a VERY serious DETECTIVE STORY that is NOT GAY. Honestly? An extremely blessed movie that is totally worth a watch. Also: the meta gag of Smoktun playing Hamlet. Again. 

3. Moscow-Cassiopeia (1973) and Teens in the Universe (1974)

I.O.O allowed me to post this

Smoktun’s involvement: I.O.O, mysterious secondary character 

2 films, ~1h19mins each | sovietmoviesonline, English subtitles | 1 | 2 (annoying nag to register still applies)

What and why: they’re really should’ve been just two episodes but it looks like the producers decided to be original, two “”movies”” a year apart instead. KIDS SCI-FI YALL. God, I enjoyed these way too much. A mission is set up to send a bunch of boys and girls on a long ass journey to Cassiopeia, so by the time they reach it they will be all grown up respectful pals and gals. The first movie is all about making it happen, the second one is a straight up space adventure. I personally just enjoyed all of it, the kids were actually pretty nice actors, the sicc effects and props were charming, teh ADVENTURE!! was a joy to watch, and, of course, the mysterious I.O.O - who is he? What are his powers? Is he from this planet at all? We will never know. I personally liked these, what can I say, and I.O.O is a mysterious binch. 

4. They Fought For Their Country (1975)

fuck yo boots, protag 

Smoktun’s involvement: a surgeon, very minor role

2 episodes, ~1h15mins each | Youtube, English subtitles | EP1 | EP2

What and why: Smoktun is honestly is just an excuse, the movie itself is one holy hell material. Sergey Bondarchuk, after all. The plot is as simple as ass: a bunch of soldiers retreating, engaging into battles, living their lives. What is an absolutely breathtaking part of it is the BATTLES. HOLY SHIT THE BATTLES. Bond is Bond, y’all, he just fucking rolled actual tanks and planes on the set, and blew up actual villages (built specifically for the movie ofc), and this is the most intense, terrifying, and fuckin AWESOME thing of all. No cool cgi slowmo bullshit, all you need is to see how things really were back then, and that’s all it takes to realise the true horror of war. This is an incredible film, that’s all I can say, it is very powerful in a very simplistic manner, no gore or pathos, just simple realities. Cannot recommend it enough. 

5. Nine Days In One Year (1962)

radiates science 

Smoktun’s involvement: the secondary third-wheeling science ass

~1h45mins | sovietmoviesonline, English subtitles and dub | rad

What and why: a nuclear movie without a conclusive ending about scientists, radiation, and the prices paid for discovery. Has very rad thoughts in it that are still very relevant, lots of bombing mansplaining and science nerds. Smoktun there is as great as always, totally radiant. The actual main hero and the themes will also get a reaction out of you. Again, has its flaws, but overall it is a very good movie, although nothing gets physical. Rad.

Honourable mentions:

1. The Star of Captivating Happiness (1975)

some evil-ish dud | wrote about it before | the movie’s still a pain in the ass

2. Crime and Punishment (1969)

that important dud who makes the protag confess | 2 episodes, ~1h42mins each | sovietmoviesonline, English subs | boink

Imo this movie was a fucking chore did not enjoy at all 0/10 but Smoktun is as great as always so here’s that

3. The Legend of Thyl (1976)

King Charles V | 5 episodes, ~1h20mins each | Youtube, no subtitles | playlist

Nothing matters in this movie as the first episode or two where he’s engaged in softcore porn of smooching tit on screen and then just does a gr8 job of being a magnificent dud with a big charming smile, death threats and weird sounds

4. The Princess and the Pea (1976)

King | ~1h24mins | Youtube, no subtitles | boink

Apparently the movie is meh but Smoktun and his Queen were gr8 to watch, he’s a bit problematic, has a questionable fashion sense, skeptical, charming, does a wheeze for no reason and falls on his face, everyone just rolls their eyes.

5. Cherry Orchard (1976)

Protag’s brother | ~2h48mins | filmed stage play | Youtube, no subtitles | boink

Literal stage play that was filmed for TV, pretty typical. Contains chaotic evil Solomin who grabs tits and does faces and bullies poor Smoktun. Smoktun himself is extremely noice as always, as well as the entire cast, actually, and his chemistry with his sister is rather alarming. 

Final comment: Smoktunovsky is one of the truly greatest actors who have ever ascended on this pitiful planet. His skill is incredible, his works are amazing, I could’ve easily added like 5 more of whatever movies/filmed plays here. Here’s a thing: when an actor, singer or any other great person had their coffin taken outside in front of the public to get transported during a public funeral service, nobody ever clapped in Russia, ever. When Smoktunovsky’s coffin was taken outside in 1994, suddenly, the crowd exploded into an ovation. The reaction was mixed no doubt, but one fact stays: since 1994, every single funeral ends with the public sending their beloved entertainer on their final journey with applauding for everything they have done, and have been. And it all started with Innokenty Smoktunovsky. 

#innokenty smoktunovsky #what to watch #hoooo boi #that was big #he is my fave so yeah no surprise