#i started sobbing after reading a cuddle pile fic i just love them so much

[mercy-burning]

Nightfall

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After a near-death experience on the job and dark nightmares that follow, Reader and Spencer find comfort in each other. Category: ANGST / FLUFF (hurt/comfort?) / ***OPTIONAL SMUT ENDING (18+)*** Warnings: A nightmare sequence that includes brief mentions of a chainsaw, dismemberment, and blood/gore, heavy crying, basically it’s just very sad and dark, but comforting and soft at the end | SMUT includes: handjob, cum eating, shower sex, oral sex (female receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex Word Count: 1.6k | 3.3k

Full Request: “Could you do a spencer fic where the reader wakes up from a night terror due to nearly dying on a recent case, and leaves the bed and Spencer panics because he can’t find them in the bedroom, and it becomes a mutual comfort fic where Spencer’s trying to calm both him and the reader down with just lots of angst and fluff?...” — @willowrose99

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: Y’all, I can’t believe this is the final 1k request!! I’ve had so much fun writing these, so thank you for sending them in, reading, reblogging them, and for celebrating this milestone with me!!

This one’s a little... dark. And extremely sad. I actually, like, sobbed writing this, so I apologize in advance. It also gets a little horror movie-esque during the nightmare sequence, so I apologize if that’s not your thing (I’ve been watching a shit-ton of horror movies lately and I love it lol) ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy this final request! Thank you again for celebrating with me, it means the world ❤

***

It started with flashes of light, faintly resembling fireworks as they shot through the nightfall, albeit silently. They were constant, red and blue and— They were police lights... But he should have heard sirens to accompany them, right? Why weren't there sirens? If he tried hard enough, though, through the loud thumping in his ears, he could faintly make out a high pitched whine. Or... was it a cry?

Crying.

No—sobbing.

Screaming.

It was at this point that Y/N had awaken, screaming almost at the top of her lungs as she startled forward in bed. Though it took a few painstakingly long seconds to realize where she was and that she was safe, at home with Spencer and bathed in the deep sound of silence, she still felt the hum of the chainsaw and it's loud groaning as it descended closer and closer above her neck. It was loud, haunting, and even as she furiously rubbed at her eyes, the images and sounds wouldn't go away.

She stumbled from the bed and trembled the entire way to the bathroom, so enraptured in terror that she was entirely unaware that Spencer had only merely jumped in his sleep at the sound of her screaming.

Meanwhile his dream continued, that high crying sound fading into some sort of tune that resembled a music box... As he made his way through the flashing lights, they also seemed to dissipate, eventually leading him to one single streetlight in the middle of a field. But underneath it stood a large pile of dirt, something glistening on top of it as it... spun?

He approached the dirt, only to notice it was, in fact, a music box that he was hearing. Each note grew louder and louder as he crouched down to get a closer look, and without warning it started to smell like... rotting flesh. It was unmistakable. But... why? There weren't any bodies around, only the music box rotating on a pile of...

It was a grave.

And right as he finally recognized the tune coming from the music box, which served as some type of headstone, Spencer was pushed back, the dirt rumbling until something shot up from the grave, sending the music box shattering in front of him into pieces.

It couldn't be... I saved her, she's not... It can't be her...

The tune was her favorite song. And as the music box sat broken in front of him, he realized it was also a gift to her from her late mother.

But it couldn't have been her...

The streetlight flickered heavily as whatever shot up out of the grave started to come into better view. Arms outstretched, until the left one gave off a glow that pulsed at its ring finger— A glittering diamond ring that he'd picked out years ago and had sat on her hand ever since.

But it couldn't have been her...

The arm fell clean off the figure with a loud thud, and then it dissolved into a pool of crimson, the glittering ring laying right in the middle, untouched and untainted by the gore. The rest of the figure trembled heavily until he heard the tune again— Only now, it was her voice. It lowly hummed the melody as a head came into view, slowly revealing her face.

But... It couldn't have been her...

Spencer trembled as her voice continued to hum, each note becoming more warped and drowned out until suddenly, the streetlight stopped flickering and remained blinding.

There was no mistake anymore.

Under the harsh white light, Y/N's tattered, dirty and bloody body was sitting up in a pile of dirt like it might have once been sand at a beach. Her left arm was a pool of boiling blood next to her, and the ring still laid there, as sparkly and ethereal as ever—the only good thing that remained.

"Why didn't you save me?" she drawled, her voice deep and warped. The terror grew and grew in the pit of his stomach as he watched her head, a thin, red line at her neck getting larger and larger as it tilted... Farther and farther to the left, until finally, she laughed, and it snapped clean off her body and into the pool of blood that once was her left arm.

All he could do was shake violently, his mouth open in a silent scream as the wind nearly knocked him out.

When Spencer woke up, he couldn't breathe.

His eyes shot open and his hand clutched at his chest as he tried to catch his breath. And even as he blinked rapidly, gradually realizing it was all a dream and that he was at home, his breath slowly coming back to him, the shaking he was experiencing was still very real.

The first thing he did was reach for her hand, her body, anything to let him know that she was with him.

And all he found underneath his fingers was a cold sheet.

"Y/N?" he whimpered out, turning frantically to see if he could spot her. His heart beat frantically in his chest to the point where it's all he could hear, panic starting to settle in his bones even as he scrambled out of bed and went searching for her.

On shaky legs, Spencer travelled throughout the house, a purchase they'd made only a year ago. It still hadn't entirely felt like home, but after being married for four years whilst traveling everywhere for work, they'd come to terms with that fact that home was wherever they were together. But right now the Reid house felt more foreign than usual, because things were bad, and Spencer couldn't find his wife anywhere. His home was with her, and without her, without home, he was empty.

When he stumbled into the bathroom, swinging the door open and turning on the light with fumbling, shaky hands, he heard a yelp coming from the direction of the bathtub. And when his eyes landed on his wife, huddled in an empty tub and visibly shaking just as badly as he was, his world corrected just a little bit.

"Baby?" he whispered, silently asking if it was alright to approach her.

All she did was stare blankly at him, her body trembling as tears silently streamed down her face. Her bottom lip was wobbling, and it was then that he knew she wouldn't be able to speak.

"Y—You had a bad dream, too?" he whispered again. She nodded, still shaking, and the tiny sob that cracked through her closed lips gave him permission to move forward.

He was still anxious as he got in the tub with her, cuddling up next to her and letting her fall tirelessly into his open arms. He hugged her tightly, resting his chin on the top of her head and feeling tears of his own start to well in his eyes as her breathing labored. This time he could audibly hear her breathing, just as shaky as her body was, and even though she made no sound, it didn't take a genius to understand that she was silently sobbing.

The wetness from her tears soaked through his thin tee shirt, and with every second she hugged him tighter and tighter, her breathing getting heavier until she eventually let out one, huge screaming sob that shattered his heart in two. His own tears fell hot like streams of liquid fire down his face as they cemented into the top of her head and spread throughout her own body, expelling themselves through screeches of emotional pain and a tight grip.

It was a vicious cycle that only slowed when Spencer fell backwards, causing them to fall down and Y/N to choke out a sob-infused fit of uncontrollable laughter. It was chaotic and cathartic, a vessel of release that felt very much like home to them despite the coldness that had infiltrated their dreams and made them feel hopeless and scared.

Just being there together, holding each other as they cried, slowly washed that hopelessness away until their cries became laughs, which then dissolved into a sweet, comfortable silence that further cemented the fact that they'd only been dreams.

This? Right now? This was real.

Spencer's hand gently combing back his wife's hair as it fell in her face and threatened to stick to her mouth? That was real.

Y/N's clutch on her husband's tee shirt that was sure to leave wrinkles and tear stains, the thought of the moment when he'd inevitably joked that she 'leaked' all over him making her laugh? That was real.

It wasn't long before the two of them drifted off into near-unconsciousness, laying down uncomfortably in the porcelain tub but too afraid to move that they'd endure it for the night.

Y/N loosened her clutch on Spencer's shirt, taking to placing each of her hands on his chest instead as she nuzzled her face into his neck. Her cheeks were itchy with dried tears, and the dampness of his shirt from the same thing felt oddly comforting pressed coolly against her palms.

"I love you, Spencer," she whispered.

The gravel in her voice slightly made his heart sink, but it rose again when she pressed the most loving kisses to his neck, conveying all the love and appreciation and warmth that they could. He glanced down at her hands, the glittering ring on the left one looking rather dull compared to his nightmare. But then she twitched her hand, and under the soft blue tint of the bathroom light, it glinted in a quick flash.

He placed one of his hands over hers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before whispering back, "I love you, too."

***OPTIONAL SMUT ENDING***

Waking up in a bathtub was bound to be painful, but after such a deep, dreamless sleep, Spencer and Y/N found it somewhat comforting. It was strange waking up wrapped up in each other in a bathtub after a solid hour and a half of emotional wreckage the night before, sure, but once they realized where they were, the goofy, half-asleep smiles they adorned couldn't be of any greater comfort than a warm, soft bed.

Their wordless greetings began when Y/N ran her thumb gently across the planes of her husband's chest, letting him know she was awake. He did the same, running his thumb along the inside of her other arm. Soon after, it was her whole hand, tracing his entire torso up and down for a few cycles until she reached the hem of his shirt and slipped it underneath. She closed her eyes and sighed, kissing his neck while feeling goosebumps start to rise on his skin.

Her kisses became deeper and more sloppy when he reached out and clutched her other hand, lacing their fingers together and bringing them up to his mouth. He sighed over the back of her hand, and it didn't take very long for Y/N to feel his hips twitch against her, a familiar hardness bringing a cheeky smile to her lips.

Spencer felt it against his neck, and as his whole being went into a state of utter bliss as he wondered how one single being could have this great of an effect on him.

He was hyperaware of her wandering hand as it slipped out from under his shirt in favor of slipping into another fabric. The moment her delicate fingers grazed his dick, he groaned against her hand, giving it open-mouthed kisses that well-mirrored the ones she was currently giving his neck.

After a bit of fumbling around to get him free of his pajama pants and boxers, Y/N's hand was firmly wrapped around her husbands hard, ready cock. She swiped her thumb over the tip and spread around some of the precum there before humming into his neck and starting a quick, dry pace that allowed her to feel every dip and ridge of him. Spencer's head tilted back to give her more access to her neck, causing his forehead to softly thump against the cool porcelain of the tub.

And then she made sure to pay special attention to the underside of his tip, gently rubbing circles into it with her thumb as her tongue did the same to the weak spot on his neck. These two things together, naturally, had him tensing within a matter of seconds, his throat expelling a deep groan as his dick expelled his thick, warm release over her hand.

Y/N only groaned against his throat as he finished,=. And when he did, she brought her hand to her mouth and started to lick it clean as she sat up and straddled him.

"Good morning to you, too," Spencer sighed with a small laugh as he watched her sucking off her fingers. Though her shorts were still on, she started to rock against his thigh, using her other hand on the side of the tub as leverage. "I can help you out, you know," he offered, starting to sit up.

She had other plans, but the scratchiness in his voice—no doubt because he'd just woken up but also due to the crying last night—took those plans and threw them out the window. She'd let him do whatever he wanted, something that was a usual occurrence, but when it came to his morning voice she couldn't resist.

So she waited as he sat up, his hands immediately finding their way to her shirt, which he lifted and threw out of the tub. And then he used his thumbs to gently swipe over the peak of her breasts, leaning forward to kiss her neck ad mumble "I love you," into her skin. She sighed and grinded on his thigh again, each swipe of his thumbs over her hardened nipples giving a new jolt of pleasure with each grind. She gripped his hair softly, combing through it and twirling pieces of it around her fingers, her eyes fluttering closed and her mind going numb so as to completely live in the moment and focus on the way he touched her and loved her unconditionally.

Spencer brought one of his hands down to pull at the waistband of her shorts, and against her leg, Y/N felt him grow hard again. So she lifted her hips and let him slide her shorts and underwear down, and once she got them off her legs she tossed them out with her shirt and worked at his own clothes. Due to the small space in the bathtub, things were most certainly clumsy and impatient, but once the clothing barriers were gone for good, leaving them both completely bare, it was an easy feat to stand and get easy access to each other.

Y/N whined into his mouth as he pushed her against the shower wall, her hands exploring the planes of his hack and his ass while he reached behind her and turned the shower on. Water rained down on them, freezing at first, but it got warmer each second as they made out and let their hands roam.

Soon, though, one of Spencer's hands came down to grab Y/N's thigh, and she wrapped that leg around his waist, pulling him closer as she brought her hand down to line him up.

"You don't want me to use my mouth?" he whispered into her mouth in between kisses as she ran the head of his dick through her pussy.

"Mmm... Later," she sighed back, circling his tip over her clit a few times before deeply kissing him and using her leg to pull him closer. "Right now I need you inside me."

Who was he to deny her anything? So he slowly pushed into her, dropping his head to rest on her shoulder.

The water was arm now, mostly cascading down his back, but it rolled to the front of him, accenting every forward snap of his hips with a loud smack.  His thrusts were quick, but each time he went forward, he stayed there for a moment, not only to make sure he didn't go too fast and end up slipping, but also to gauge his wife's reactions— feeling her nails scratch lightly down his shoulders, the rumble her throat as she groaned at each slow circle of his hips as they connected with hers... His primary goal was to draw out every little noise and reaction from her until she was crying out with pleasure, honestly his favorite sound in the world.

The only thing that came close was when she begged.

"Baby, please," she whined, her hands reaching down to grab his ass. "I need more..."

Spencer groaned into her neck, granting her wish and setting a quicker pace drilling into her. She clenched her whole body around him, not only to draw out more pleasure, but to keep a good grip so they wouldn't fall. In the few times that they'd had sex in the shower prior to this, they'd always taken precautions by bending Y/N over the edge of the tub as he fucked her, though the floor usually ended up almost completely soaked with water by the end of it. Which, of course, was why they'd hardly ever done it.

But when you and your significant other wake up in the bathtub after a rough night, sometimes you just have to take advantage of the opportunity.

Everything seemed to work out, though, because it didn't take any time at all for them to get there. With one orgasm already under Spencer's belt and the constant thrumming of his dick against Y/N's g-spot, the two of them were only seconds away from losing themselves in blinding bliss.

Sure enough, his hips started to stutter, and she held his ass close to her as he stilled and came yet again. She cried out in high whines as her walls fluttered around him, and even as she came down, her grip on him remained, the sudden urge to be as close as possible to her husband outweighing any concern about overstimulation.

Even as he pulled out of her and started to kneel, Y/N kept her hands on him at all times, settling them finally in his wet hair as she sighed. "What are you doing?"

"You said later," is all he offered in response. "It's later."

And then he licked a long line along the inside of her thigh where his cum had started to drip out. The sight below her almost turned her on more than the touch itself, what with the way the water covered him and sprinkled his face as he looked up at her. Eventually though, the water in his eyes was too much, so he stuck to keeping them down as he gently ran his tongue through her pussy and cleaned her up, bringing on another impending orgasm for her in the process.

Y/N brushed his wet curls away from his face as he did it, gently tugging on them and rolling her hips slightly to get more friction. But he held them still, his way of telling her that he was going to take his time with her and that it would be worth it in the end.

And worth it it was. Anything he did would have been worth it, but Y/N couldn't deny the loud cries of intense pleasure as his tongue rapidly flicked over her clit, never slowing or picking up the pace. He kept at it, over and over and over until she was shaking above him, her grip in his hair so tight that it elicited moans of his own.

Once he could tell she was done, her grip becoming a little too tight, Spencer pulled away, pressing wet kisses along her body as he made his way back up to his feet.

"There," he said, kissing her cheek and then nuzzling into her neck once more. "And now we're even."

Y/N laughed, wrapping her arms around her husband and holding him tight as they stepped further into the water to wash up.

***

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#mercy 1k celebration #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[sassyhobbits]

16. "I can't believe you're making snow angels at a time like this!"

and here we have the ONS christmas special!! my last xmas fic this season and i hope you all enjoy! have a great holidays everyone!! <3

~~~

Aelin Galathynius loved Yulemas.

She loved the smells, the sights, the foods. She relished in spending time with her closest family and friends, giving them gifts she knew would make their faces light up. She loved laying by the fire and reminiscing.

This was Aelin's third Yulemas with Rowan. She fell more in love with her husband everyday, and always enjoyed spending the holiday with him. The only thing that she could have wished for this year was that their daughter had decided to join them.

Aelin was heavily pregnant. Their daughter was about a week late and Aelin wanted her out, out, out already. It wasn’t only that her feet were always swollen or her back ached constantly, but also that Rowan had become terribly overbearing. There wasn't a single thing Aelin tried to do that her husband didn't attempt to do for her before she could. At the beginning of her pregnancy, she enjoyed it. She liked when Rowan would grab the remote or get out of bed to fetch her slippers if she asked. But by now, it was beginning to lose its charm.

It was Yulemas eve. The palace was filled with their friends and family. They had even invited some of Rowan’s cousins to Orynth. Arlene and Isolde were excited to enjoy their first northern Yulemas. 

They had all spent a few hours lounging in the parlor, indulging in wine and other spiced holiday drinks. Aelin sipped on a hot chocolate, cuddled into Rowan’s side, his hand a steady weight on her belly. It had all been wonderful, but after a while Aelin began to feel a bit warm with the fire and the bodies stuffing the cozy parlor

"Hey, Ro?" she whispered to her husband.

"What is it, Fireheart?"

"Will you take a walk with me?"

He smiled and nodded. "I'd love to."

He helped her off the couch, grabbing her boots and her coat and helping her slip them on. No one noticed when they ducked out of the parlor, walking down the halls towards the entrance to the gardens. 

They had become a wintry wonderland in the recent days, covered in a fresh blanket of soft snow. The night was silent, the sky clear and beautiful. Aelin held Rowan’s arm tightly as they meandered slowly over the snowy path. 

Suddenly, Aelin hissed in discomfort, placing a hand over her huge stomach as their baby girl fussed.

“Is everything alright?” Rowan asked, brows knitted in concern.

“Fine,” Aelin assured him, not wanting him to go full mother hen mode. “She’s just making herself comfortable, apparently.” 

Her husband sighed heavily. “It seems she likes it in there.”

“Well, it’s cold as hell out here so I don’t blame her.”

Rowan released a bark of laughter. “I was hoping she’d be with us by now.”

“Me too.” Aelin pouted down at her belly. “I had some adorable little Yulemas outfits for her.”

“I know you did, love.”

They continued their trek through the gardens, admiring the lights that had been strung up and other holiday decorations. Aelin always enjoyed decorating the palace. It was one of her favorite parts of the season. 

The princess was just about to suggest they go back inside when she felt something strange. A sensation she had never endured before; a little pop followed by something decidedly wet between her legs. Aelin didn't have to be a rocket scientist to realize what, exactly, that feeling was.

"Rowan?" she rasped, tightening her grip on her husband's arm.

"Hm?"

"My water just broke."

"Your water just what-?!"

Rowan’s head whipped towards her, eyes wide in shock. In his bewilderment, her normally graceful husband wasn't watching where he was going, stepping on a slick piece of eyes. His feet flew out from under him, tumbling back into a fresh bank of snow.

Despite herself, Aelin released a laugh. Rowan leaned his head upwards, flakes scattered in his slicer hair, arms spread on either side of him like a star.

“I can’t believe you’re making snow angels at a time like this!” the princess cried playfully. “We’re having a baby!”

Rowan blinked once, a slow smile spreading on his lips. “We’re having a baby,” he repeated in a whisper. “We’re having our baby!”

Aelin could only grin.

…

It didn’t take long to head back inside and gather the things they needed to make the trip to the hospital. Aelin had thought Rowan was being ridiculous earlier, but it was nothing compared to his actions now. He was everywhere at once, not allowing her to pick up anything or even open a door for herself. Yet, Aelin was too nervous to even really scold him about it. 

She and Rowan were already getting into a car in the garage by the time they let their other friends and family know what was happening. Before she knew it, they were on the way to the hospital.

Aelin knew that she likely still had a fair share of time before things would get serious, but her mother had faced many complications when giving birth to her. Aelin’s entire family had agreed to play it safe. 

There was a private, secure suite waiting for Aelin by the time they pulled up to the hospital. She was only just starting to feel the first of her contractions when she slipped into the shapeless hospital gown. 

Aelin spent a few hours speaking with nurses and doctors, getting poked and prodded and questioned. She spoke with her friends and family over the phone, convinced Rowan to read to her even though her husband seemed much more nervous than she did. 

As the night wore on, Aelin’s contractions grew stronger and more frequent. A little after one in the morning, the doctor came in and informed her that it was time to start pushing. It was then that Aelin felt those first twinges of fear. 

“Rowan?” Aelin squeaked, looking to her husband who was seated beside her.

He reached out, brushing a strand of her hair from her sweaty forehead. “What is it, Fireheart?”

“I’m scared.”

His lips tightened a fraction of an inch, grabbing her hand and giving it a firm squeeze. She could see in his eyes that he was frightened too, but he would be strong. Strong for both of them, and the little girl they were waiting to meet. He leaned close and kissed her flushed forehead. 

“I’ll be here every step of the way, Aelin. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

…

The birthing process wasn’t easy, though no one was expecting it to be. Aelin felt as though she was being torn in two, her throat raw from screaming in pain. Even through the haze of the agony, she could tell that Rowan was beyond stressed and seeing her like this was likely shaving years off his life. It was a good thing his hair was already silver, because this experience probably would have turned his hair gray anyway. 

Still, he was nothing but supportive: whispering words of encouragement, letting her grip his hand as tightly as she needed, dabbing her sweaty forehead with a cool cloth. 

It was the wee hours of Yulemas morning, the sky turning a buttery yellow as the sun rose above the jagged peaks of the Staghorns. Aelin was beyond exhausted. She had been pushing and screaming for hours. All she wanted to do was sleep.

A ragged cry tore from her throat before slumping back on to her pile of pillows, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“I’m so tired,” she sobbed, voice hoarse and crackling. “Ro, I’m so tired.”

“I know you are, love. You’re doing so good. You’re almost there.”

“I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Yes you can, Aelin.” Rowan squeezed her hand tightly. “You’re the strongest person I know. Just a little bit longer. I know you can do it.”

“He’s right, princess,” the doctor said from his position between her legs. “Your daughter’s nearly here. Just one more big push. Can you do that for me?”

Aelin clenched her jaw and nodded. She had survived much worse than this. She could do anything. The princess sucked down one last deep, bracing breath, preparing herself before giving a mighty push.

Aelin wailed as she put everything she had in her into this last push, sure she must have been breaking the bones in Rowan’s hand with how hard she was gripping it. 

And, where one cry ended, another began.

A shrill shriek that did not come from Aelin filled the air just as her own voice failed her. Her strength left her body, collapsing against the pillows just as she saw the doctor hand a screaming, bloody, wiggling thing to the nurse.

Her daughter. That was her daughter. 

Aelin forced herself to sit up straighter as the nurses carried a bundle of pink blankets towards her before carefully placing it into her arms.

The tears wouldn’t stop flowing as Aelin held her daughter in her arms for the first time. Her face was red, and her little face was pinched up as she cried, but she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. 

“Hi,” Aelin rasped, giving another tiny sob. “Hello. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Rowan was a warm presence at her side, looking down at his daughter in wonder. “She’s beautiful. She’s perfect.”

“I’m so in love already it doesn’t feel possible.”

The doctor smiled at the little family before them. “Have you picked out a name for the little princess yet?”

Aelin nodded, tracing the shape of her daughter’s nose. “Eliora. Her name is Eliora.”

The doctors and nurses took a few steps back, giving them a bit of privacy as they grew acquainted with one another. 

“Happy Yulemas, Eliora,” Rowan whispered to the newborn. 

“It is Yulemas, isn’t it?” Aelin asked. She had lost track of time during the birthing process. “It looks like we’re gonna have to wait to do presents.”

“No offence, Fireheart, but I don’t think you can out do yourself now.” He ran his fingers over Eliora’s silvery-blonde hair. “This is the best Yulemas gift I’ve ever could have asked for. Thank you. I love you. I love you both so much.”

Aelin looked up, beaming and kissing Rowan quickly, scooting over so he could sit beside her on the hospital bed. He perched himself on the corner, tucking Aelin under his arm and holding both her and their daughter close.

Now Aelin Galathynius had another reason to love Yulemas.

#ONE NIGHT STANDARDS #rowaelin #my writing

[peralta-guaranteed]

hc of amy having a bad day and struggling with mac? say he’s very clingy or also upset

Guess what, this accidentally turned into a fic too. And it kinda shifted into 'Jake and Amy having a bad day and struggling with Mac for very different reasons'... I hope you still like it!

(read it on AO3)

It had become evident pretty early on that when Mac got sick, he gravitated towards Amy much more. Sure, Jake was also sometimes good for snotty cuddles and cough-soothing baths, but at some point he would call for his mom, or whine and spread his arms towards her with his legs kicking in frustration, and it said a lot about how much Jake has grown that he didn't even hesitate to hand him over without acting hurt. Maybe the blissful calm washing over Mac's face as soon as Amy was hugging him helped with that, too. It was such a wonderful thing to see after hours of crying, coughing, sneezing, whining and general sad pouting that only a Peralta-baby is capable of, Jake barely had the energy to worry about how it felt to be so blatantly rejected by his little boy.

It'd also become evident that Mac’s clingy phase had started a bit earlier than most of their parenting books prophesied. If Amy was home, he wanted to be on her lap, or in her arms, or wrapping his little arms around her leg as she tried to work in the kitchen. Jake got “NO!”ed and waved away far more often than he was asked for a hug himself, and again, it took a lot of newfound maturity not to let that get to him - and maybe he did not have enough of that yet, because it absolutely got to him in quieter moments.

(He knew it’d pass, like any phase in a toddler’s life passes at some point. Like the phase of Mac refusing anything but that one specific carrot puree passed, or the phase of him being unable to sleep anywhere except cuddled in between them, waking up as soon as they tried to carry him back to his own bed.)

The real trouble starts when both these situations collide.

-*-

Mac woke them up at 4:30 sharp, two hours before Amy’s first alarm, crying so hard it almost sounded like screaming. When Jake tiptoed into the nursery, he had to ignore the frustrated shouts of Nonono and Mamam that he was almost used to by now, to actually check what was wrong. Probably another ear infection, he realised after seeing the symptoms they’d become very familiar with during the last time they’d battled through one of those. They had to bring him to the doctor to be sure, but he already knew they were looking forward to at least two days of unsoothable crying and fussing.

He also knew that things would be hell for Amy.

In theory, it would make far more sense for him to call in sick to take care of Mac. As much as he loved his detective work, the simple fact that his wife outranked him (and thus outdid him in both salary and responsibilities, obviously) meant that if one of them had to take a few days off, it should be him first and foremost. In practice, however, Mac was going to be even more insufferable than just from his sickness if left alone with him at the moment. He was still crying for Amy as Jake lifted him out of the cot - he would be screaming bloody murder if she closed the door of the apartment behind her.

“Earache?” Amy asked already as Jake stepped back into the bedroom, Mac’s wailing lessening only slightly as he stretched his arms out toward her. She pulled him to her as Jake sighed and nodded.

“I think so. I’ll take him to the doc when they open.” He tried to offer, but he knew Amy would refuse it anyway.

“No, I can do it. I’ll call in sick - you get back to sleep for work.”

“I’ll try.” He sighed again as he dropped onto his back while Amy was sitting up to sway Mac, who’d actually quieted down into little sobs and sniffles in her arms. “I’m sorry, Ames.”

“It’s nobody’s fault he’s sick, especially not yours.”

“Yeah, but I wish I could help more. If he wasn’t- you know.”

“I know.” Amy let her free hand not holding Mac drift through Jake’s sleep-messy curls. She knew that, as much as he tried to pretend it wasn’t bothering him, he secretly hated the thought of his son rejecting him in any way, even if it was as nonsensical as a clingy toddler phase.

Luckily it didn’t take long for him to actually fall back asleep with her hand in his hair, and she carefully wiggled out of bed to let him rest while settling down with a still crying Mac in his nursery rocking chair.

-*-

They got to get ready together as they usually did in the morning, at least - even if Amy was only getting dressed to drive to the pediatrician and straight back again. She’d already called Holt and explained the situation before Jake handed her a mug of coffee, and Mac had been, at the least, not crying for the last ten minutes while sitting in his playpen in the living room. Maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as last time.

“I can pick up whatever the doc prescribes on my lunch break.” Jake smiled at her, ruefully, and she considered telling him again that it was okay, that she could do it - but something told her to keep her options of at least a few minutes not alone with a sick toddler open.

She desperately needed that option when lunchtime came around.

Doctor Maurice had quickly confirmed their suspicions and told her that there wasn’t much more they could do than wait it out, keep an eye on his fever and medicate with ibuprofen and warm compresses. Not that any of that had helped. When Mac wasn’t crying, he was screaming, and when he wasn’t screaming, he wanted to be close to her, but he couldn’t lie down without the pain getting worse, so simply plonking down on the couch with him was out of the question. She’d let him breastfeed far more than had been their norm now that he was slowly getting weaned, because it seemed to give him some relief at least, as well as quieting him for a blissful moment. But then the infection had travelled to his stomach as well, the same way it had last time, and he staunchly refused any and all food or milk. She’d seriously started considering foregoing the diapers completely and just letting him play in the empty bathtub so she could rinse him off from time to time, because five dirty diapers in under twenty minutes had to be some sort of new record.

So when Jake texted her he was on his way, with a picture of another box of ibuprofen and that herbal steam-bath mix that had helped last time, she sent a silent thank you prayer to anyone who wanted to listen. And she mumbled a not quite as silent thank you against Jake’s lips before he could even get his shoes off at the door.

“I got you one of the good bagel sandwiches for lunch, too.” He said as he hugged her and combed through her messy hair.

“I love you so much.” She hadn’t even realised that the only thing in her stomach so far was still the cup of coffee he’d made her this morning.

He grinned as he put the deli paper bag on the kitchen counter and went over to Mac’s playpen, to say hello to a currently only softly whining toddler smacking an innocent teddy against a pile of soft fabric blocks. Amy followed to wrap her arms around his waist from behind and rest her head against his back, taking in a few deep breaths of Jake, of something that didn’t smell of diarrhea, moist compresses, milk-hiccups and spit up.

“Also Holt gave me an hour for lunch, so if you want to take a nap or something-”

“God.” Amy groaned with pure happiness as Jake turned around in her embrace. “Marry me, Mr. Perfect.”

“Any place, any time, babe.” He kissed the crown of her head while returning her hug, sniffing her hair with a chuckle. “But maybe a shower first before the big day.”

“Rude.” Amy mumbled with her face pressed against his chest. “I rescind the proposal.”

His chuckle turned into a laugh at that, and he slowly unraveled her arms around him. “Nap first, then shower, how’s that sound? Then a bagel. I’ll give Mac his lunch.”

“Good luck with that.” She sighed before giving him another quick kiss and making a beeline for the bedroom.

-*-

She’d hopped straight from bed into the bathroom later, relishing in the feeling of the hot water washing away any aches left over after that much needed nap. Alas, when she stepped out of the oh-so-peaceful bathroom, she was met with a wall of sound.

Mac was wailing, hard, as Jake swayed him back and forth, holding another warm compress against his little ear, and trying to make soothing noises despite the shrill screams of No and MAMA! straight into his face.

“Shsshhshsh, hey, it’s okay, bud, it’s okay. I know you don’t like me much at the moment, but it’s gonna be okay, and mom is coming back soon-”

He stopped as he noticed her stepping into the room, giving her an apologetic smile as she took Mac from him. The wailing turned into regular crying at least, albeit still loud.

“I’m sorry babe - did he wake you up? He won’t eat either.”

“I set an alarm, actually. So you won’t be back late.” Amy sat down on the couch and pulled up her shirt (freshly changed after the shower, and god had that felt good as well). Mac latched onto her breast almost immediately, and a wonderful quiet settled across the room, only his little snuffling and suckling noises breaking through.

Jake’s face was unreadable before he turned towards the kitchen to plate her bagel, but that stoic, almost empty expression told her enough anyway. She grabbed his wrist as he set the plate down on the couch table, pulled softly until he sat down next to her, running her fingers through his hair again to comfort him.

“You know it’s not true, right?”

“Hm?” Jake looked up at her after watching Mac, who finally seemed to calm down completely in her arm, with a vacant look in his eyes.

“It’s not true that he doesn’t like you. He loves you just as much as me. It’s just a difficult phase.”

“I know that.” Jake’s attempt at a smile was still sad enough, and she wiped across the corner of it with the soft tip of her thumb.

“And I love you too. So much.”

“I know that.” And this new smile seemed to turn out right, at least. “You wanna re-marry me, after all.” He teased as he leant his head against her shoulder, looking down at Mac again with a much less forlorn expression.

“Hey, I rescinded that proposal!” She quipped back, falling into their usual banter easily now that she was rested enough and sure that Jake felt better as well. “But I might consider re-re-proposing again if you promise to pick up Polish for dinner.”

“I knew you only wanted me for all the free food delivery.”

“I also need you for other things.” Amy said as she sat up a bit straighter to finish Mac’s feeding, Jake’s head lifting off of her shoulder with the movement. “Like burping your kid. I really don’t want spit-up down this fresh shirt.”

“Aye aye, Sergeant.” Jake joked, already scrabbling for the burp cloth thrown over the armchair next to them and taking Mac out of her arms.

She watched him as he expertly settled the little, squirming bundle against his chest, the swaying and patting motion almost second nature by now, ducking his head down for a quick sniff of that perfect toddler hair scent. He’d have to leave for the precinct soon enough, and she certainly wasn’t looking forward to the rest of the afternoon probably being a reprise of her entire morning, and she didn’t even want to think about the night or next day to come.

Life with a toddler was unpredictable. Almost nothing was in her control anymore. But, as she’d learned over the years, as long as she was with the right people, she could handle anything. And Jake Peralta proved, again and again, that he was the right person for her.

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #peraltiago #baby mac #mac peralta #fic #my writing

[writer1]

A Sniper’s Life Changing Injury

Part One

Warnings: fear, self hate, transformation, body horror, swearing, lying, injury, thoughts of abandonment, angst, lots of angst, thoughts of losing brothers, near death experience. Depression, feeling alone. It does get fluffy in the end tho, we promise

A/N: This is a collab fic between myself and @ahsokatano-thetogruta , we hope that you enjoy this! As we’ve put in the warnings, there is a lot of angst and Crosshair feels so scared and alone at a few points in this fic, so if you are feeling sad, you may want to skip out on reading this fic.  It does get fluffy in the end tho, we promise. We also promise that there will be more fluffier fics for Werewolf Crosshair in the future. 

Crosshair sits in his spot above the base, rifle trained on the door. His job is to shoot any droid that gets close, which is pretty easy. He waits for his brothers to get out with the information, then they can leave this force damned, snowy planet. Crosshair smirks when he finally sees his brothers leave the base, and head back to the Marauder. “Took them long enough.” He grumbles, standing up and walking through the tall trees, back towards the Marauder.

But he freezes when he hears a rustling, Crosshair points his rifle, seeing some large bushes, he waits. When there's a roar, and a giant beast jumps straight onto Crosshair, clamping a jaw around his arm. “ARGHH!!” He screams as he kicks the beast off, picking up his rifle and shooting at the beast the best he can with his injured arm. Once it’s gone, Crosshair huffs, then goes to walk back to the Marauder to get his arm taken care of, when he feels a weird feeling in his stomach.

“What the-- AURGH!” The pain intensifies tenfold, as Crosshair falls to the ground. He snarls as he starts to rip off his armor, the pain making him need too. Once it’s all off, he growls and whimpers as he hears a crack, making him scream. He covers his mouth, not wanting anyone to hear him, as his shirt grows tight, then rips. Crosshair realizes that his body is growing bigger, grey fur growing all over him. 

He whines as his bones crack and change, legs gaining haunches. He hears a beeping, his comm is going off. “Crosshair! You there? Where are you Vod’ika, you should be back by now!” Crosshair whines, a noise unfamiliar to him, he… he wants his brothers, his Ori’Vod. He just wants Wrecker to hold him close, Tech to talk his ears off but also comfort him. And Hunter… he just wants some comfort from his oldest brother, please.

He goes to grab his comm, to call his Ori’Vod’s to his side, but when he almost reaches it, he feels a burning pain in his bones and his hands shake as he pulls them back to him, seeing them change and become more claw-like. He growls and his mouth elongates, becoming a muzzle, and a large fluffy tail painfully sprouts and grows from his backside. He opens his eyes, tears falling down his face as he looks down at himself, the transformation is finished, and he’s looking down at a body not his own. He looks at his hands and feet, both have sharp claws on the ends, and his legs have haunches. He is covered in thick, grey fur, and he can tell that he’s even bigger than Wrecker now, so much bigger.

Crosshair whimpers as he realizes that… that he can’t call his brothers. He’s a monster now, a hideous beast that his brothers will abandon as soon as they find out. Crosshair shakes his head, he can’t let them know, can’t tell them that he’s a monster now. Crosshair cries, completely breaking down from his usual, cold persona, what does he do, will he be human again? What happens if he isn’t? 

“Crosshair?!! Cross!! Where are you!!” Crosshair hears the distant shouts of his brothers. Shit! Crosshair doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want his brothers to see him like this, so he carries out his best and only best plan.

Run and hide.

So he does. He runs. He runs as fast as he can. He tries to run on two legs, but he keeps stumbling and falling to the ground, so he runs on all fours, coming across a cave. He takes a few moments to calm himself down as soon as he gets the chance to sit against the cave wall. He’s panicking, scared out of his mind as he looks down at himself, seeing a body that isn’t his. All he wants right now is a hug from Hunter, but there’s no way that they’d give him one now. Crosshair is a monster now, there’s no going back.

He whines and whimpers as he finds something to chew on, but he can’t, so he just uses the next best thing. His hand will make an okay substitute for now, but he wishes that Wrecker was there with him, since he would always offer him Lula to chew on whenever he was stressed or anxious, usually both. He visualises the small Tooka doll, seeing it’s slightly bent and floppy ear. The image makes him happy, but then he just sees the disgusted looks on all of their faces, making his ears press back as he curls in on himself. 

A snow storm is picking up quickly, the atmosphere’s temperature dropping dramatically. Crosshair hopes that the others aren’t stuck out there in the cold. He’s sure that him being in this form would keep them all warm if they snuggled together, but who really wants to be near a monster like him? Crosshair pushes his intrusive and painful thoughts away, crawling a little further into the cave to escape the ice cold draft blowing in. He stops and settles down, well, as much as he can. He lies on the floor, feeling some tears run down his furry cheek as he lets out a sob, echoing around the small cave. “Hunter...Tech...Wrecker…” Is all he says quietly to himself as he feels himself fall asleep until he’s completely passed out.

xxx 

Crosshair wakes up with a shiver. The morning light floods into the cave and he feels its slight warmth brush against his feet. He sits up groggily, then his eyes widen when he sees that he’s smaller, no longer covered in fur and back to his normal, human self. He sighs in relief as he shuffles into the light a little more, making him hum at the tiny amount of warmth comforting him. He looks out onto a sea of white, the snow glistening brightly. “No way I’m walking out there.” Crosshair mutters to himself, imagining the laughs and chuckles from his brothers. 

He then freezes as he hears a ship, poking his head out of the cave to see the Marauder landing right outside, he backs up a bit, as Hunter jumps out and comes running, followed by Tech and Wrecker. “Cross! You here?!” he yells, and Crosshair smiles and yells back. “I’m here!” Hunter comes running into the cave, he looks tired, but gets a relieved look. “Cross!” He runs over and pulls Crosshair into a hug, as both Wrecker and Tech run over as well and join in. 

Hunter then pulls away, getting a serious look as Tech wraps a blanket around Crosshair’s shoulders. “What the Kriff happened? We went looking for you when you didn’t return to the Marauder, we found your armor, and torn shirt. What happened!” Crosshair sighs. “An animal attacked me, but I fought it off. It tore my armor and shirt off, then I ran and hid in this cave.” Hunter has an unbelieving look, but he just gives a relieved smile. “We’re just glad you’re okay, Vod’ika.” Hunter tells him, then Wrecker runs over and picks him up.

“Hey! What--” “We thought you were dead!” Wrecker yells as he hugs Crosshair close, tearing up. Crosshair sighs, but hugs Wrecker back. “It’s okay, I’m okay, Wrecker.” Wrecker smiles and presses a kiss to Crosshair’s forehead. “Let's get you inside, you’re freezing.” Crosshair nods, and Tech walks up. “Yes, your body temperature is much too low for my liking.'' The four of them run to the Marauder, Crosshair actually being carried in Wreckers arms. He’s carried straight to Wrecker’s bunk, being laid down as his brothers all start to strip their armor. 

“What?--” “We are having a cuddle pile, both to warm you up, and because we spent a whole night thinking you were dead, we need the comfort of knowing you’re safe beside us.” Crosshair nods, feeling terrible for worrying them. They all climb into the bed, Crosshair between Tech and Hunter, as Wrecker moves them all to be on top of him. Crosshair sighs softly, getting a happy smile. He’s so glad that he turned back to human, he just hopes that he doesn’t transform again.

He yawns as his eyes flutter closed, the warmth of his brothers making him sleepy, he drifts off to sleep.

xxx

That was not the only time Crosshair transforms, not by a longshot. He transformed two more times before today, the first was only three days after the very first time, he was lucky to get an excuse out to his brothers before running. They were thankfully on a more tropical planet, so no freezing to death. The second time, he was once again sniping, and it just started, it may have been because he was worried for his brothers, he doesn’t know. He had started sneaking spare blacks in his backpack thankfully after the tropical planet, so he made sure to leave no evidence and hid in another cave.

His brothers had grown suspicious when he had returned, but he had just shrugged. “I found a new spot, but I got trapped by clankers, so I had to hide and wait it out.” He knew they hadn’t quite believed it, but they didn’t bug.

Crosshair sighs as he cleans his rifle, they have been in space for about four days, and he’s so scared of transforming while up here. Hunter will surely sense it, and then it's all over. He’ll lose his brothers forever, and be alone. Crosshair runs a hand through his hair as he sighs sadly. “Maybe I deserve it, what kind of monsters have families.” He whispers to himself, then startles when he hears Hunter yell for him.

“Cross! Dinners ready!” He stands, setting his rifle up as he leaves his quarters, walking to the common area. Hunter smiles and hands him a plate. “Wrecker chose tonight.” Crosshair sighs, rolling his eyes, but he smiles. “Kraft Dinner?” “Kraft Dinner.” Hunter confirms, and Crosshair smiles as Wrecker pumps a fist. “Yeah!! I love it!!” Crosshair smiles as he sits down against a wall, and starts eating his bowl of Kraft Dinner. Hunter has given him a fork, just how he likes it.

He eats for a few minutes, hearing Tech babble about this new gadget he’s working on, just feeling content when he feels the familiar discomfort welling up in his stomach. His eyes widen as fear fills him. Hunter notices that there’s something off about Crosshair, making him raise an eyebrow “Everything okay, Cross?” He asks, but Crosshair swallows hard to try and get rid of the feeling in his stomach. He tries to think of an excuse, then he looks at his food. “I think this is making me sick, I’ll be right back.” Crosshair lies, knowing that he is going to transform and will not want to show his face, or the face of a wolf, that is.

Crosshair stands quickly and swiftly makes his way down the hall towards his room. Hunter, Tech and Wrecker all share the same concerned, worried look for their little brother. “He doesn’t usually feel sick at dinner, does he?” Tech inquires, making Hunter shake his head. “No. No, he doesn’t.” He replies, getting up and follows Crosshair in his stead back to his room. “Cross, wait!” He calls out to Crosshair, but the door is shut on his face. Hunter knocks a few times “Cross, what’s going on? Are you alright--” A loud groan and yell from inside the room is all he needs for him to answer his own question.

“TECH! WRECKER!” Hunter yells, seeing his brothers run immediately to him. “What’s going on?! Is Cross okay?!” Wrecker asks. He’s never felt so worried before in his whole life. Hunter shakes his head, but before he can answer, there’s a yell louder and more painful than the last one. “His door is locked and I can’t get it open.” Hunter tells them, then Tech is immediately at the panel for the door lock, but his shaky hands are making it difficult for him to hack into the locking mechanism. “I-I can’t get it open!” Tech is panicking, worried for his little brother, tears filling his eyes and making it difficult to see what he’s doing. 

“Stand back!!” Wrecker yells, letting Tech move out of the way before he uses all of his strength to kick down the door. They each rush into the room, to then see Crosshair kneeling on the floor with his back to them, arms wrapped around himself. He seems...different. Like he’s-- growing?! The three of them stand there, not sure what to do. This has never happened before. “Crosshair?” Hunter asks cautiously, watching as Crosshair turns his head to look at them. They feel a shiver run down their spines when they see that their little brother’s eyes are yellow and glowing a little, some grey fur growing on his face too.

“Get out!!”

xxx

“Cross, wai--!” The door shuts behind Crosshair. Crosshair groans, hugging his stomach as he sits down on the floor beside his bed. He strips his armor off, throwing it half-hazardly across the room, he hugs himself, as he does everything in his power to hold back the transformation, causing excruciating pain.

He hears knocking. “Cross, what’s going on? Are you alright--” He lets out a loud groan, followed by a yell. The sound of Hunter’s voice is making him scared and uneasy. “TECH! WRECKER!” He hears Hunter yell, as footsteps come running. “No no no.”  Crosshair whispers, letting out an even louder, more painful yell as the pain amps up, he’s so scared that  his brothers will see the monstrous beast he’s going to become, he continues holding back his transformation, no matter how much pain it causes. He can hear voices on the other side, but is unable to concentrate enough to hear what they’re saying, he growls as fur starts to grow on his face, and he squeezes his eyes shut. “No, please, no.” He whispers, hugging himself and turning from the door as he hears-- “Stand back!!” then a big bang, as he knows that Wrecker has kicked the door down, he grits his teeth as his body starts to slowly, agonizingly slowly, grow bigger.

They stand there for a few minutes, probably just staring at him until he hears Hunter ask.  “Crosshair?” almost in a scared voice, it makes Crosshair wince, then he turns to them. Seeing them shiver and their eyes go wide. “Get out!!” He yells, not wanting them to see him, not like this. His voice is a bit deeper, and growly. 

As he groans again, he won’t be able to hold back the transformation for much longer. He watches them stare with fear written on all three of their faces, and he looks away. “I said get out!!” He yells, but then everything becomes too much, and he lets out a sob. “Please, just...don’t look at me. I’m… I’m a monster, just go away.” He hugs himself tighter, the pain growing worse as he yells out, he won’t be able to hold it back, it’s already starting to slip. He doesn’t hear them leaving, wondering what's going on. “I’m sorry, I know it’s disgusting, and I’ll leave after this. I promise, you’ll never have to see me aga-- AUGH.” Crosshair tells them, tears falling down his face as he shakes.

He finally slips, unable to hold it back any longer. He lets go and lets the transformation happen, knowing that he can’t stop it now. His body grows larger, fur sprouting out as his clothes rip, his shirt fully shredding as his pants stay on, only ripping at the ends to about half way. He writhes on the floor as his bones crack, legs bending and forming into haunches. His arms are longer and more muscular, hands more claw-like now. He knows that they are probably all staring at him in disgust, already devising a plan to throw him out on the next plant they come across. Crosshair knows that he’s not going to be welcomed here anymore--

His heavy, growly breath hitches when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his front, making him look down to see his bandana-loving brother hugging him tightly. “Hunt-- argh, Hunter, no, don’t…” Crosshair begins but starts sobbing, not wanting Hunter to leave. “Shh, it’s alright, Cross. We’re not going anywhere.” Hunter tells him, making his heart throb. He’s not sure whether it’s from hearing that his brothers still love him or the uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he continues to grow bigger and more fluff grows, getting fluffier.

Hunter pulls away a little, not wanting to keep his embrace around his little brother too tightly. He looks up to see tears flowing down his face, so he reaches a hand up to cup Crosshair’s cheek, wiping the tears away. Crosshair leans into the touch, but then his face hurts as it elongates. He yells out, wanting to look away, but Hunter just gives him a look of ‘it’s okay, I’m not afraid and you shouldn’t be either’. Crosshair whines, squeezing his eyes shut as his ears grow pointy and furry, moving to the top of his head as a tail grows long and fluffy. 

Crosshair lets out a relieved huff and sigh, but whimpers when he opens his eyes, he sees Tech and Wrecker standing in front of him, staring in disbelief, making Crosshair press his ears back in fear and look down “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m a monster now, you can kick me out if you want.” He hears no response, so he looks up to see the three of them with tears in their eyes, spilling out and rolling down their faces. Crosshair feels guilty and confused. “Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong--” 

“Why would you ever think that?!” Hunter sounds angry, making Crosshair jump in surprise. Hunter takes a deep breath “We’d never kick you out, ever.” He says, standing up and pressing his forehead against Crosshair. Crosshair feels like crying, so he holds Hunter close to comfort him. He feels Tech and Wrecker hug him from either side, so he lets go of Hunter for a moment to pull the both of them in for a hug as well. His longer arms allow him to hold all three of them at once, hugging them close and all together. 

They all sit like that for a few minutes, Crosshair just wanting to be close to his brothers, he finds it weird, being bigger than them, especially Wrecker. Crosshair whimpers, gently setting his chin on the top of Tech’s head, making Tech let out a sigh. They then pull away, and Hunter gives him a sad look. “How long? This isn’t the first time, is it?” Crosshair shakes his head, making his brothers get sad looks. “It was during that mission on the snow planet, I transformed, that’s why you couldn’t find me.” Hunter’s eyes widen. “That… That was a week and a half ago, Cross! You’ve been like this that long, and you haven’t told us!” Crosshair flinches, ears pressing back.

“I was scared, I’m a monster now. I thought you’d hate me, and think I’m disgusting. So whenever I transformed I hid, same on the tropical planet and that last planet we were on.” Hunter tears up a bit, as Wrecker growls. “You’re not a monster, never!” He tells Crosshair, making Crosshair whine as his ears press back. Hunter frowns, giving Wrecker a look. Wrecker gently pets Crosshair’s arm. 

Hunter then looks back up at Crosshair. “You’re not a monster, you are our brother, nothing is going to change that. Not ever in a million years.” Crosshair tears up again, pulling all three of his brothers into a hug, Tech smiles. “It’s okay, I’d like to run some tests on you. Just so we know how this affects you. But that can be sometime later.” Crosshair nods, nuzzling into Tech as Wrecker pets him. “So you don’t think I’m a Monster? Or disgusting?” Crosshair knows they already said he didn’t, but after thinking they’d hate him for so long, he needs the reassurances.

“Not at all. What you look like doesn’t matter, you're still our little brother, Crossy.” Tech reassures him, making sure that Crosshair is getting everybit comfort he deserves. Crosshair’s chest rumbles in content, letting out a happy hum as he nuzzles into the top of each of their heads. He feels so lucky to have the three greatest Vod’e in the entire galaxy. Lost in his content thoughts, he licks their heads a few times before stopping. His face heats up in embarrassment. “What the-- s-sorry, I don’t know why I did that.” Instead of the weirded out reactions he expected, they all smile kindly and don’t say anything about it. Except for Tech, that is. “Well, it is probably a new natural reaction or instinct that you have developed, since it is a gesture that a wolf makes to show affection.” 

Wrecker looks at him with a mix of shock and confusion. He never knew that “They do that?” He asks and Tech retorts playfully in a smart tone of voice “I thought that was obvious.” All of them chuckle, including Crosshair, who feels a lot less nervous knowing that it is something that is now...normal. Suddenly, he sees Wrecker lean up to his face and start licking his furry cheek. “Um, Wrecker? W-What are y’doing?” Crosshair asks, unable to hold back a chuckle.

“M’giving you affection too-- bleh!” Wrecker tells him, but then he’s cut off when he starts coughing up some fur that got in his mouth. Crosshair laughs and pats the top of Wrecker’s head. “Normal kisses work fine, Wreck.” He tells him with a smile, then Wrecker kisses him normally a few times before snuggling again. Crosshair nuzzles him and then hums when Hunter plays with the fur on his chest, making his eyes flutter from the nice feeling. Hunter chuckles sweetly. “Is that nice, Cross’ika?” Crosshair can’t find the words to say, so he just nods and hums. Hunter runs his fingers through the fluffy fur a few more times, looking sadly at Crosshair.

Crosshair whines at the loss of Hunter’s touch, making him fully open his eyes “Why did you stop?” He asks, and Hunter sighs “You really went through this alone three times already? The same pain and worry on your mind?” Hunter asks. Crosshair looks sheepishly at him in response and nods, his ears pressing back. “M’sorry, I...I was just so scared.”

Hunter frowns, placing a hand softly on Crosshair’s cheek. “Well, you don’t have to be afraid anymore. We’re here for you and we always will be. Right, Fellas?” Hunter smiles at Tech and Wrecker who both nod. Tech lets out a little “Yep.” while Wrecker pumps his fist in the air a little and shouts “Yeah!”, making them all laugh and smile.

After calming down, Crosshair lets out a yawn, his sharp teeth on display for the others to see, but they don’t find them scary. He feels tired from all the exhaustion, taking over his entire body. If his brothers weren’t there, he’d surely just flop and pass out on the floor. “You ready to sleep?” Hunter asks, sensing his little brother’s exhaustion, and Crosshair nods. They all stand up, apart from Crosshair who doesn’t. “What’s wrong, Cross? Can’t you walk?” Tech asks with a raised eyebrow, seeing Crosshair with a nervous look on his face. 

“I can only walk on all fours. It’s difficult now that my legs are...different.” Crosshair whines, making the others give him looks of sympathy, then Tech hums in thought, sitting down and gently grabbing Cross’s leg, pulling his foot to his face, studying it. “It may be difficult, since you aren’t used to walking on your toes, plus you’ve never had haunches before, so that is the biggest change to your anatomy.” Crosshair stretches his other leg out, looking at his larger foot. That makes a lot of sense. Crosshair sighs. “I just...I don’t want to walk around like an animal.” Tech nods as he says “Understandable.” as he lets go of Crosshair’s leg.

Only a moment later, Wrecker walks over to him and scoops him up, making Crosshair yelp in surprise. “Don’t worry, Crossy. We’ve got you. Quite literally, in my case.” Wrecker smiles, then Crosshair returns it, nuzzling his snout into Wrecker’s neck as he’s carried over to his bunk. Wrecker sets Crosshair down, squeezing in next to him as Hunter sits on the other side, then Tech just stands there, noticing that there isn’t a lot of room left. 

Crosshair smiles and pats his lap “You can sit here, if you want? It’ll be more comfortable to pile on, rather than trying to squish together onto one bunk.” Tech nods as he climbs up and sits in Crosshair’s lap, with a helping hand from Crosshair, who pulls him close so Tech won’t fall off while they are asleep. The last thing Crosshair wants to do is hurt his brothers anymore than he already has by not telling them about this, thinking that they’d get rid of him. With a happy sigh, he finally falls asleep, enjoying the company of his brothers. They make him feel safe and loved, being there by his side while he’s in this new and scary form. 

xxx

Hunter opens his eyes groggily, gently sitting up. He rubs his eyes and looks around, smiling when he sees a human Crosshair, with Tech on top of him. Hunter gently reaches over and runs a hand through Cross’s hair, making his brother hum, and a smile appear on his face. Hunter smiles softly, but then frowns. He feels so bad that Crosshair had thought they'd hate him, just because he looked different. 

Hunter sighs. They should have seen the signs that something was wrong with their youngest, he had been acting weird ever since that mission. Almost as if he’s depressed. It had broken Hunter and the rest, but they could have never imagined what had actually caused it. Hunter feels horrible that Crosshair had to go through that pain alone, three times. That's never going to happen again, Hunter won’t let it.

“Hm.” Hunter turns to see Crosshair starting to stir, along with Tech and Wrecker. “Cross!! Yer human again!!” Wrecker yells excitedly, scooping Crosshair into a hug and knocking Tech into Hunter, but Tech and Hunter both just laugh. Crosshair chuckles, and Hunter notices the look of relief on his face. “Yeah, yeah I am.” Wrecker smiles as he pulls Crosshair close, then he looks over. “Are you guys joining in?” He asks, and Hunter chuckles. “Of course.” Tech tells him as he joins the group hug, and Hunter does as well.

They all hear Crosshair sigh happily, making them happy to have helped him, hoping that he won’t run from them again.

xxx

Crosshair watches as the others celebrate the victory they had against the Separatists, they had just taken out a base on the other side of the planet. But Crosshair isn’t celebrating, not at all. There were bombs that were set to go off, and none of them even knew about them. They had almost killed Hunter… He had almost lost his Ori’Vod today.

He groans softly as the familiar feeling fills his stomach, and he sucks in a breath. He’s going to transform, again. “Shit.” He hisses quietly to himself, wrapping an arm around his stomach. He goes to walk away, to hide when he hears-- “You okay, Cross?” Hunter asks, and Crosshair turns to look at him, his helmet is thankfully on, so Hunter and the others can’t see his grimace. “I’m fine, just going for a walk.” Hunter raises an eyebrow, then his eyes widen. “You’re going to transform. Aren’t you?” 

Crosshair doesn’t respond, instead, he just goes to run. But as he steps off of the first step, he lets out a yell at an excruciating pain in his stomach and stumbles down the steps, falling to the ground. He tries to stand up and run away to hide somewhere, but Hunter gets in front of him, kneeling down and making sure that Crosshair doesn’t get up. “Hunter, let me go.” He whimpers, feeling the pain get worse with every passing second. Hunter shakes his head and frowns. 

Crosshair doesn’t think to push Hunter out of the way, because part of him wants him to stay with his brothers, to have them near him this time. Crosshair holds his stomach, about to double over from the pain, but Hunter pulls his baby brother into a tight, comforting hug. “Tell me what to do, how can I help?” Hunter asks, almost begging, pulling Crosshair’s helmet off and looking directly into his eyes, watching as they turn golden yellow. “Get my armor off, please.” Crosshair whines, already feeling it becoming too tight. Hunter nods and starts with his arm pieces, but then Crosshair groans “H-Hunter, please hurry for Kriff’s sake!” He half cries out, making Hunter panic. He’s about to call for Tech and Wrecker to help him, but they are already coming out of the ship and kneeling down too, each helping to remove his armour.

Once it is all off, Crosshair finally doubles over, pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it on the ground as he clutches his stomach. He feels someone’s hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly. It feels weird when his fur starts to grow, because it’s short and stubbly, so it feels itchy for a few moments until it grows out more and becomes furry. He yells as his bones crack and rearrange, letting out an inhuman growl as his arms and legs keep getting longer and his hands and feet become clawed, his pants partially shred and rip, a tail growing out from his backside, making him yelp from shock rather than pain, because he’s gotten used to feeling it grow as he transforms. 

He bares his sharp teeth as his face elongates into a snout, ears pointy and furry, moving to the top of his head. His fur is thick and fluffy now as the transformation finishes, letting him huff in relief. He hums when he feels someone still rubbing his back, so he turns his head to see Tech smiling at him comfortingly. He returns the smile, standing slightly so he can shuffle around to sit on the ground. Crosshair hangs his head low and whispers “Sorry.” 

It’s barely audible to Tech and Wrecker, but Hunter hears it loud and clear. “Cross, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Hunter says as he crouches down and wraps his arms around his little brother’s neck, holding him close. Crosshair hugs him back, a few tears falling as he sits there, feeling vulnerable while Hunter hugs him, bringing some comfort. Hunter pulls away from him “No more running away, okay? Because we’re here for you now. We always have been and always will be.” 

Crosshair nods as Hunter wipes the tears from his furry cheeks. Tech then makes a small cough to grab their attention. “Now that you are in this form, we can help you walk. Only if you want to, no pressure, Vod’ika.” Crosshair goes to decline Tech’s offer, but, after a moment in thought, he realises that if he can walk on two legs in this form, he won’t have to walk like an animal anymore. “Sure, thank you.”

All three smile at him, then Wrecker walks over. “Here, let me help you up.” Crosshair nods, wrapping a large arm around Wrecker’s shoulders, as his brother hoists him up. Crosshair's eyes widen when he realizes that Wrecker only reaches to the middle of his chest, and the others reach up to his ribcage. He whimpers a bit, never realizing exactly how much bigger he is. But then he feels a soft pat on his side, looking down to see Hunter smiling comfortingly at him. 

“It’s okay, we aren’t scared at all. Although you aren’t exactly our little brother anymore.” Hunter jokes softly, making Crosshair smile and let out a chuckle, Tech also hums. “I’ve been reading up on werewolves, it seems that when you transform, you use up your energy, so you should be eating. I’m guessing that has not been happening?” Crosshair nods sheepishly, making Tech nod. “We’ll get you some food after we do some walking practice, now it’s going to be difficult the first few times, just because you’ve never walked like this before. Walking on your toes and with haunches, I mean.” Crosshair nods, making a noise of understanding as he goes to take a step. But he stumbles.

He almost falls, but Wrecker and Hunter both steady him together. “Woah, careful.” Hunter tells him, and Crosshair nods, growling in frustration. But then he takes another step, stumbling a bit but not falling. “Yes!!” Wrecker cheers, and Hunter smiles and pats Crosshair’s side. “Great job, Cross!!” Crosshair smiles brightly, he knows that being a werewolf is going to be difficult, but he’s going to try his best, even if it means taking one step at a time. So his first step will be to learn and practice to walk on two legs, and quite literally taking one step at a time as he stumbles his way into his new life, knowing that he’ll get there, one day...

Taglist: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @lightning-wolffe

#star wars clone wars #werewolf crosshair #were!Cross #my writing #hunter #tech #crosshair #wrecker #the bad batch

[pips-fics]

ask: can I request a sick jisung who is practically dragged back to the dorms by the members and he's so out of it that he starts saying things that make skz reassure and cuddle him? I live for fluff and angst lmao (also make sure to take care of yourself and don't stress about writing these late or anything! your health comes first, have a good day :)

tw: glass/injury/blood imagery (it’s a metaphor for guilt and not literal but somewhat graphic), self-loathing, vomiting

@anon who requested this: i have a very urgent fear that this is not what you were expecting when you sent this ask.  if this is too heavy, please let me know and i will be happy to write you something else

@everyone: we’ve got some pretty intense trigger warnings with this one so please don’t hesitate to skip reading this one, it’s all very interwoven in this fic an it’s not worth risking causing yourself harm for

some days jisung felt like glass.  glass that ached.  sharp and dangerous and fragile all at the same time.  he thought some of his members could understand this; others probably could not.

he did what he could to keep his distance.  he spent his whole day locked in the studio, taking painkillers that hardly blunted his headache every few hours.  a stress headache, he thought.  all the more reason to be productive, for once, but he felt boxed in.

a tiny shard of glass in an illusory metal box, unprotected and suffocating.

words poured out of him and onto the paper, but none of them were good enough to use.  instead, they pelted him like hail, each failure a knick in in his brittle skin.  one of them would be enough to make him shatter.

distracted by the task of attempting to hold himself together, jisung forgot about the passage of time until the soft fabric of his sweatshirt began to feel suddenly and violently abrasive on his skin.  his stomach churned, and, as his gaze landed on a clock reading half past midnight, he realized he hadn’t eaten anything for over 12 hours.

he made himself a bowl of instant ramen, and forced himself to choke it down, but his stomach only seemed to worsen at that.  he was so tired.  he nearly fell down the stairs on his way to throw out his bowl, but jisung couldn’t afford to go home yet, not when he’d barely made any progress at all.

he hadn’t expected to run into felix on his way back.

“are you going home soon?”  felix asked, frowning when jisung shook his head.  he tried to explain.

“i’m just stuck so… i have to figure this out before i give up on this song entirely.”

felix’s frown deepened, and jisung felt his glass soul crack further.  “you can finish it tomorrow, right?  you have time before the deadline, and you always get your assignments done on time.”

felix was really so sweet, jisung thought, and so supportive.  he probably couldn’t fathom how big of a failure jisung actually was in his own mind.

jisung shattered.

“easy for you to say,“ he said.  he was shaking, or shivering, his body cold but his rage red-hot.  “you don’t understand, felix, that one day i won’t.  one day i won’t get it done because i’ll run out of make-believe genius and everyone will realize that it’s all been just a game of pretend the whole time and i’ll—”

he broke off, choked up and nauseous.  felix looked almost as sick as jisung felt.  in a hushed voice, nearly a whisper, jisung forced himself to finish, the fight drained out of him at once.

“and i’ll have to admit that everyone would have been better off without me from the start.”

his eyes flickered to felix’s face, regret too small a word to describe his feelings about felix’s tears, even as it was all tempered by resignation.  this was always going to happen.  but that didn’t mean jisung was going to stick around and make it harder than it needed to be.

anyway, he still had work to do.

jisung doubted that felix would come looking for him.  he believed he had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be found.  he locked the door to his workroom anyway, and tried to get back to work.  instead, felix’s expression of hurt flashed in his mind, again and again, sticking to him like blood.

it was disgusting, jisung thought, that felix had been the only civilian casualty of his explosion.  it shouldn’t have mattered who it was, but at least if it had been someone like minho, or hyunjin, or seungmin, at least then he could’ve held on to the hope that they’d understand.  at least they had the same kind of faux protection as jisung.  felix was nothing but soft flesh.

all of a sudden it was too much to bear.  sweat dripping down his face, jisung leaned over the small trash can next to the desk and vomited, and felt that he deserved it.  he gasped and felt that he didn’t deserve the air entering his lungs, coughed and choked and sputtered until he threw up again and he sobbed.  a pile of broken glass on the ground.

jisung didn’t realize that seungmin had entered the room until he felt a hand pressed to his forehead.  he jerked away, struggled to speak as his body wouldn’t stop wringing gasping sobs from his mouth.

“how?”  was all he managed, though it wasn’t what he’d wanted to say.  why?  didn’t you hear from felix what i did?

something like mischief briefly overshadowed seungmin’s expression of concern.  “picked the lock,” he explained smugly.  then he softened.  “i can show you how sometime, if you want.”

jisung flinched.  seungmin still thought of jisung as a friend - which meant that he hadn’t heard from felix.  had he run into jisung by coincidence?

“i’m sorry,” jisung blurted out, realizing that this would seem nonsensical to seungmin only when he saw the look of surprise on his face.  but then it melded into understanding, and jisung felt lightheaded, and wondered if all of this was just a bad dream, because nothing was making sense.

“can we go back to the dorm and talk?”  seungmin asked.  jisung avoided his eyes and shook his head.

“felix told me what happened,” seungmin said, and jisung pinched himself, because seungmin was speaking far too gently for this to be real.  he didn’t wake up.

“then you should know - you should leave,” jisung said, trying to convey his urgency, but lacking the energy to do so.  he resorted to pleading.  “you’ll get cut - don’t you understand?  i thought you would understand.  i’m sorry.”

“sungie, you know we’re just worried about you?  felix is alright.”

“but then—”

“i kept him out too late tonight teaching me dance moves so i sent him home first.  he’s probably waiting up for you though.”  seungmin started gathering jisung’s things, then, putting them in his backpack.  jisung didn’t stop him.  if he was just shattered glass on the ground, cutting everyone who took a step in his direction, the least he could do was let seungmin and felix get some sleep.

“you know,” seungmin said as they approached the dorm, “i don’t think you hurt felix in the way you think you did.”

jisung stayed quiet.

“do you know that the first thing he told me was that you had a fever and you were being mean to yourself?”

this made jisung’s steps falter, trying to process two new pieces of information at once.  he supposed that explained why seungmin had been so understanding - and why it had taken so little for him to beak earlier.  

seungmin grabbed jisung’s arm to steady him and didn’t let go.  “of course i pried the rest of the details out of him,” he said, as if reading jisung’s mind.  “i think he’s right.  jisung, your worth is not measured by your productivity.”

this was, perhaps, the most groundbreaking piece of news yet.  they had reached the door to their dorm, but seungmin’s grip on jisung’s arm tightened.

“you’re our friend,” seungmin said, as if it were a fact and jisung was a human and not a piece of glass after all.  and seungmin’s mouth wobbled a little bit and jisung cried a little bit more and they both knew they’d never speak of this again.

jisung nodded, and it didn’t feel entirely like a lie.  when they went inside and felix told him he loved him, jisung didn’t choke saying it back.  a nagging shard of guilt remained when felix insisted on getting up with him when jisung was sick twice that night, but all of his sharp edges had dulled.  soothed, for the moment, by the reassurance of felix’s calm breathing as he fell back asleep.  that was the thing about breathing: it couldn’t help but be honest.  a sense calm, content, and safety washed over jisung like waves until he, too, drifted off to gentle dreams.

——

feel free to send more asks! | rules

#i don't fucking know what this fic is i'm sorry #tw vomit #vomit tw #vomiting #self loathing #tw self loathing #tw glass #tw blood #tw injury #it's metaphorical but still #skz sickfic #skz #stray kids #stray kids sickfic #sickfic #sick jisung #han jisung #lee felix #kim Seungmin #kpop #kpop sickfic #kpop emeto #tw emeto #emeto tw #ahhhh i'm so scared i missed a trigger with this one #low-key almost triggered my self wtf #probs won't ever read this fic again but please lmk if you enjoyed it ;;v;; #this anon was so sweet and i went so heavy on the angst /i'm so sorry/ #okay goodnight

[pinkjeanist]

“the luckiest.” || shouta aizawa

     ⇥ It took you three tries to tell Shouta you were pregnant. [1.6k words - f!reader]

a/n: this song makes me sob. catch it playing at my wedding. [navigation]

“You said you’ve been experiencing fatigue, nausea, and vomiting...do you know when your last period was?” 

“Uh…” You pulled out your phone to check your health app for the date, even though you knew well enough that you were long overdue. “Over a month ago, by a couple weeks.”

“Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?”

You’d known the question was coming. You were asked about it at almost every visit to the doctor’s, and the answer was always “yes,” but that answer seemed a little too close for comfort, now. After reading article after article online about what your symptoms could mean, just hearing Recovery Girl ask the question cemented the conclusion you’d now come to in your mind.

Your hand gripped the arm of the chair. “Yes.”

She looked over her visor at you, pausing in her typing. “You seem especially worried about that. Do we need to do a test?”

“I mean…” You sighed, breath quivering. “...I guess that’s the only reasonable thing to do.”

She fished out a test after a while of searching around her office and gave it to you to use the next morning. You held the box in your hands, but couldn’t bring yourself to leave. Recovery Girl came to sit next to you.

“I have a feeling you don’t want a baby?”

You sighed and shook your head. “No, I do, I just...I don’t know if Shouta does. We’ve never really talked about it, so I don’t know…” You bit the inside of your cheek. “I want a baby. I’ve wanted one with him even before we got married. But he’s always had enough kids on his hands to satisfy any want for one of his own, I think…” 

“Well, you can never know for sure unless you ask him!” You gave another long sigh at that. She set her cane aside to take your hand in both of her own. “There are always options. Even if you both aren’t ready now, that doesn’t mean you won’t be ready later. And you never know- you might not even be pregnant to begin with!” 

You stilled for a long moment, then nodded with a swallow. “You’re right. I just need to talk to him.”

“Have the conversation with him even if it comes out negative. Doctor’s orders.” She slid down from the chair and grabbed her cane, moving to sit back at her desk. You didn’t even know if she was a certified nurse, but you trusted her. Well, you trusted her enough, anyway.

The next morning, you slipped out of bed before the sun to take the test. Shouta didn’t think anything of it when you slipped back into bed and held him close. You didn’t cry until he’d gone off early to work.

Yeah. You were definitely gonna have to have the baby talk with him. 

-

It took you three tries to tell him.

The first time, you may or may not have chickened out, even though you knew the time you had left to make a decision about whether to keep it was running out. You didn’t even know why you were so nervous; you knew he would love you and support you no matter what, and you’d rehearsed your little speech over it a million times in the mirror that morning. But when you finally found a good time to tell him, you were at a loss for words.

It had been after work when you’d both come home with the intent of having a quiet, slow night in. Shouta said he’d make dinner for you, since there weren’t many nights lately where he’d had the chance, and you sat at the table with him in a painful silence. You were usually quiet when you ate, seeing as how you were trying to eat, but he noticed something off right away nevertheless. 

“What happened?”

Your eyes snapped up to meet his own.

He poked at his food but kept your gaze. “You’re upset. Did something happen?”

Yes, you wanted to say, something did happen. It was a happening that he should very well know about, and was of utmost urgency, and yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. So instead, you told him: “I just...I’m a little tired. The kids took a lot out of me today.” 

It wasn’t completely untrue, you supposed, but you still felt bad, and you could tell that he still didn’t believe you. But he didn’t press, and you didn’t tell him what was really wrong. And so you ate in silence.

By the second time you’d tried to tell him, you had finally found the confidence to do so, but Shouta was called on an emergency job after work when you’d both planned on talking. He wasn’t home until late that night, and was too tired and beaten to do anything more than go to bed, so you went to bed with him and kept to yourself.

When you actually told him, though, it was by accident.

It was a few mornings after that night, and a week after you’d found out you were pregnant. You’d immediately gone to the bathroom to vomit upon waking, and then proceeded to the kitchen to eat half a breadloaf’s worth of toast. He woke up some time after you and stood in the doorway, watching you take another piece of toast from the buttered pile on your plate.

“Good morning, Grumpy,” You called him by his nickname, then chugging some water. His brow furrowed at you.

“That’s an awful lot of toast.”

“Yeah. This baby has me starving.” 

He blinked. You looked up, blinked back, and then froze.

“You’re-”

“I’m pregnant.” 

He stilled. “Oh.” 

You furrowed your brow. “What did you think I was gonna say?” 

“That you’re having cravings?? I don’t know, I thought you meant “baby” figuratively.” He came to sit down next to you and stole a piece of toast from your pile. He bit down into it and swallowed before he finally realized: “Oh fuck. You’re pregnant.”

“I said that!” You hit his arm gently as anxiousness climbed up your throat. You felt like you were going to vomit again, but not so much because of morning sickness, now. He looked at you with an expression you didn’t recognize, and becoming impatient, you asked, “I mean...what do you think?”

“Well...you’re the one growing it. I want to have it. I don’t think I could tell you how much I’ve wanted to have a baby with you...but it’s up to you if we’re keeping it.”

“You say “growing” as if it’s a melon or something.” 

“It’s gonna look like one in a few months.” You hit him playfully again, and felt a million times better when he smiled. He took your hand and ran his thumb over your knuckles. “I mean, It’s not a bad thing. You’re gonna look amazing. And then you’re still going to look amazing with a baby in your arms.” 

You felt your breath escape you as your eyes grew wet. “So you...we’re really doing this? You want to be a dad?” 

“Well now that you’ve told me...I don’t think there’s anything I want more.” 

You didn’t think about what his reaction would be when you told him. You already knew he wouldn’t be one of those people that jumped up and down and started screaming the news to the world, but you also hadn’t expected him to be so calm. You didn’t mind his cool about it, though.

Well, he had his wits about him until he started to cry, anyway. 

“I’m gonna be a dad.” You started to cry with him, feeling all of the stress and nervousness from the past week finally overflow. It felt good, though, crying with him. It was like you were turning all of that panic into joy- a joy that he chipped into with his own emotion. “You’re gonna be a mom.” 

“We kind of already are. You basically adopted Eri and your entire class.” You sobbed, squeezing his hand with a smile. You talked as if you weren’t weeping. 

“They’re all going to want to be godparents…” He choked with a smile. “...I’m not ready for that conversation with them…” 

“Oh, they’re gonna be so happy, Shouta, I’m so happy…” 

“I’m happy, too.” You couldn’t even comprehend the level of agreement in his voice. You knew what he was saying was true, and you didn’t even know why you’d been nervous. Of course he wanted a baby. A part of you felt like you’d known that all along.

He sniffed, but let his tears stain his cheeks. “How far in are you?” 

“I don’t know. I should probably go to the doctor to see.” You scooted your chair closer to rest your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you, and you sniffled as you did the same. “Will you come with me?”

“You already know I will.” He grabbed at your body to hold you impossibly closer even still. You breathed him in as the last of your full-blown sobs simmered into hiccups. 

After a while, he murmured into your hair: “Thank you.”

You huffed with humor. “You should thank my birth control for totally beefing it with this one.” 

He pinched your side, making you giggle and hit his chest playfully back. You spoke up, “We should probably go to work.”

“God, no. We’re staying home and cuddling.” The aggression in his response made you giggle again. You kept an arm around him as you went back to eating your now-cold toast, and he kept his side pressed against yours as he made a quick call to Yuuei before eating with you. 

It would have felt normal were it not for the literal being festering in your belly, but not-so-normal was okay, you supposed. Shouta seemed content with the not-so-normalcy as well, which was all you needed for comfort. Well, the toast was pretty comforting, too. 

-

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#shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #eraserhead x reader #aizawa x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #reader insert #bnhabookclub #bnhabookclub bingo event

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

Hi friends!!

I wrote a thing. Forewarning, it is a very angsty Christmas themed fic. Like very angsty, so just be prepared.

Loosely inspired by ‘The Sweetest Gift’, The Piano Guys version; Title taken from the same.

Here’s the sequel no one asked for.

sometimes i still breakdown

The house still felt empty; especially during the early mornings when she woke up cold and alone but she was slowly learning to be happy again. 

Or at least she was learning to look like she was happy again even if she didn’t feel it. 

But today was Christmas and instead of feeling love and warmth and happiness she felt cold and empty and pain.

Because there was no laughter. 

There were no sparkling eyes. 

There were no whispers of ‘Merry Christmas’ against her lips. And god, did it hurt.

A physical ache in her chest that would come and go in varying degrees depending on the day and today, that ache hurt. It hurt so much so that she didn’t want to get up. 

She couldn’t bare the thought of moving through the decorated house that should look cheery with the tree and the lights that her friends helped her put up but to her, it wasn’t cheery at all. It was dull and despondent and all it did was remind her of what was missing. 

But then a small cry came and another and she knew she couldn’t do that no matter how much she wished she could so she pushed herself up from the cold mattress, ignoring the empty space beside her and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

Rubbing her face with a weary hand, she crept over to the bassinet that sat a few feet away and looked down at the wailing infant. Reaching down, she scooped the child up and placed her on her shoulder, patting the baby’s back lightly, “Shh, Hazyl. Momma’s got you.”

Hailey padded the few short steps back to her own bed to sit down, bringing the baby to rest on her lap so she could look into the little girl’s face. Wiping the fat tears from Hazyl’s cheeks, the baby quieted down into soft whimpers as she mirrored her mother’s sad eyes.

“You missin’ your daddy?” Hailey hummed to her daughter as she gently swayed her closed knees. She gently picked up one of Hazyl’s tiny feet to place a kiss on the bottom, “Did you know that it’s Christmas?” She continued to talk softly to the little girl who was now watching her mother with enraptured eyes, no trace of tears.

Hailey sniffed, smiling down at Hazyl as valiantly as she could, drinking in those beautiful green eyes.

Jay’s eyes. 

“Christmas was your daddy’s favorite time of year, you know,” She whispered, leaning down to pepper kisses on the little girl’s cheek, “If he were here right now, he’d probably be bouncing off the walls in excitement for your first Christmas,” A wet chuckle escaped her lips, “And the presents of course.”

Hailey paused, barely suppressing a sob, “But he’s not so we’re just going to have to be excited for him, aren’t we?” She softly stroked Hazyl’s forehead, “There’s gonna be a lot of events like this where we’re just going to have to learn how to do it by ourselves. Just us girls.”

There was a creak of a door from down the hallway followed by the sound of little feet running and Hailey gave the yawning baby in her lap a knowing look, whispering conspiratorially, “Speaking of just us girls. I think your sister’s up.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before Ellie busted through the bedroom door, her favorite stuffed animal and blanket clutched in her hand.

This was a new routine of theirs since Jay died.

Almost every morning, she was joined in the bed by her two girls to be snuggled and loved. It was their time to silently miss a husband and father in the way only they could understand without the pitying looks or words of sympathy.

It was a reinvention of an old routine, really.

Since Jay had always been an early riser, he would sometimes go snuggle with Ellie in her bed before they went to work. But he couldn’t cuddle with Ellie anymore and he had never had the opportunity to cuddle with Hazyl so it was up to Hailey to make new, special routines just for them.

They had been reinventing a lot of routines and they hit harder on days like today.

Ellie ran over to the side of the bed, clambering up onto the mattress with a little boost from Hailey before she snuggled tightly into her mother’s side all without saying a word.

That was another new thing.

Gone was the chattering, animated little girl of only a few months ago. Ellie had become a shell of herself, a lot like her mother had but no matter how much Hailey tried to hide her suffering to put on a smile for her, Ellie’s behavior had little change.

She was despondent now with little excitement for anything. Only giving small smiles when Will came over every Tuesday to spend the afternoon with them and when Adam, Kim and Kevin took her out to dinner and a movie every other weekend.

When Hailey attempted to keep to their normal activities, Ellie would look up at her with sad eyes and tell her it wasn’t the same without daddy.

They both ended up crying most days, Hailey clutching onto Ellie like her life depended on it and it honestly probably did. And when Hazyl was born she joined them, grieving for a father she would never know.

Ellie hardly laughed anymore and her eyes had lost their bright, innocent sparkle.

And that hurt almost more than anything.

She was still grieving, Will had said and Hailey wondered if they would always be grieving. 

Hailey thought the answer would probably be yes.

Ellie’s whole world had been snatched away so suddenly in a way that her young mind hadn’t understood but as Hailey looked into those blue eyes that were so like her own with each day that passed, she knew Ellie was beginning to understand what death was.

Death was waking up everyday, expecting cuddles from her daddy only to find that he wasn’t there to give any.

Death was starting to learn that no matter how hard she wished, her daddy wasn’t coming home.

Death was seeing her mommy cry and death meant being hugged a little tighter.

Death meant everything changed and Ellie didn’t like this change where her mother whispered to baby Hazyl about how wonderful daddy was and told them both how much he loved them.

Ellie wanted to hear it from daddy himself. He was supposed to be here to hum the baby to sleep and tuck her in after he read her her favorite story.

They were supposed to show baby Hazyl how to play cops and bad guys, how to build a pillow fort and how sneak attack Uncle Will, Uncle Adam and Uncle Kevin.

And he was specially supposed to be there today. Because it was Christmas and who was going to help her teach baby Hazyl to lick the bowl of their special Christmas cookies when mommy wasn’t looking? Or help her put together her toys? Or to hold her when she was sleepy after the big, fancy dinner?

But he wasn’t there and Ellie was starting to know better than to hope her daddy had magically come back and was in bed next to mommy.

She felt her mommy’s arm tighten around her, pulling her closer into her warm side. The lips she felt on the top of her head she was learning to savor because when her daddy kissed her six months ago, she hadn’t known it would be the last time he kissed her.

And that made her want to cry.

“It’s Hazyl’s first Christmas,” Ellie heard her mother murmur in a tone that she knew was supposed to sound happy, “Are you going to help her open up her presents?”

She wanted to tell mommy that no, she didn’t because daddy was supposed to help her but decided not to because every time she mentioned daddy’s name, mommy looked like her heart was breaking all over again. Instead, Ellie nodded and tried not to think about how sad the day was going to be without daddy there.

“Let’s go see what’s under the tree, huh baby?” Mommy stood up, cradling her little sister to her chest and holding out her free hand for Ellie to take, “And then we can make our special Christmas cookies.”

Ellie wasn’t sure if she wanted to do any of that without daddy and she didn’t think her mommy wanted to either but Ellie knew that they had to so baby Hazyl had a good Christmas even if daddy wasn’t there to make it perfect.

Hailey watched Ellie as they entered the living room, the presents that she had put under the tree last night piled up waiting to be opened.

She watched as the little girl cast forlorn eyes over the presents, not approaching them but staying right by her side, so different from last year.

Last year she and Jay had been awoken at five in the morning by a bouncing toddler.

Last year she and Jay had been practically dragged to the living room so they could see what was under the tree.

Last year there was laughter and happy squeals and sparkling eyes.

Last year they had Jay.

Now they didn’t and time marched on as if Hailey hadn’t lost the person that was more herself than she was.

She wanted to scream and curse and ask why had the universe taken away the best husband and father anyone could ask for who loved them unconditionally.

There was knock on the door and Ellie looked up at her with questioning eyes as Hazyl babbled in her arms blissfully unaware of the grief that shrouded the room.

Hailey frowned, not expecting anyone this early in the morning on Christmas but went to the door anyway, Ellie staying right behind her, a little fist holding onto the extra fabric of her flowy pajama pants.

Looking through the peephole caused tears to immediately prick her eyes as she opened the door to find Adam, Kevin, Kim, Will and Voight standing on her front porch laden with gifts and food.

Adam was even dressed up as Santa, a white beard attached to his face and a big, red sack thrown over his shoulder.

He let out a jolly “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas,” to which Hazyl giggled and even made Ellie smile the biggest smile Hailey had seen from her since Jay died.

Hailey should have known that they wouldn’t let her spend the day alone but it still took her by surprise at how much they cared. Trying valiantly not to cry, she stood back and opened the door further to let the group in.

Adam swooped Ellie up in his arms, tickling her with another big ‘Ho, ho, ho,’ before passing her down the line to get hugs from everyone as they filed through the door, heading to the kitchen to set down food and presents.

Will was last through the door, giving Ellie a massive hug before setting her down so she could run around to see what everyone else was doing. His eyes met Hailey’s, a look of profound grief and understanding passed between them for several long seconds.

A tiny sob escaped her as Will gathered her into his arms, giving her a firm hug; Hazyl squished protectively into Hailey’s chest.

No words were needed. He knew what she was going through. He had lost a brother and she had lost a husband; Ellie and Hazyl had lost a father and they were all learning how to deal with grief in a way they never thought they would have to experience.

Hailey had heard it all from well-meaning acquaintances and cops she interacted with on crime scenes. They told her how sorry they were, how strong she was, how it will be easier to move on with time.

But Hailey knew ‘sorry’ would never replace the loss she was dealt; not even close. She knew wasn’t strong; she was barely holding it together. And moving on with time? That was a big, fat lie.

She was starting to understand that you never moved on. Not from something like this. You hold that place in your heart, close it off, try to lock the door, visit from time to time but you don’t move on. You never move on.

And Will knew that. He understood, even if his loss wasn’t as profound as hers, he still lost a part of himself he would never be getting back. 

A friend. A brother.

He didn’t give her half-assed platitudes because he knew that all they ever did was remind her of what she’d lost. That words would never be enough unless it would bring Jay back and they both knew that wasn’t possible.

So she was grateful for her brother-in-law. Especially on days like Christmas when Jay’s absence was so sorely felt. 

Thankful that he was willing to take over being the strong one even if it was only for a few hours without having to be asked.

Hailey knew that she could have this day to grieve, to reminisce quietly, to escape in a corner to cry silently and the kids would be adequately distracted by the people who she loved most.

They were giving this to her and she was going to take it. She was tired of being strong and she honestly didn’t care if that made her look weak. 

Today she was going to say goodbye to Christmases with Jay. She was going to pull out every Christmas memory she had with him, savor it and then pack it away until next year, hoping it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

So, that’s what she did. Ellie and Hazyl opened presents while Hailey watched, mourning the fact that she’d had to pick out the presents by herself. Mourning the fact that she didn’t have any presents but not because she wanted anything.

It was because the person who typically got her sentimental things like jewelry with Ellie’s birthstone or practical gifts like an expresso machine wasn’t there to give them.

It was ironic really because all Hailey wanted this Christmas was Jay.

She blinked back tears as Jay’s stocking went untouched and tried to laugh when Adam, Kevin and Will tried to steal the cookie dough of the special Christmas cookies she and Kim were baking.

But all she could think about was how it wasn’t the same without Jay. 

It should be Jay coming in to disrupt her kitchen. It should be Jay carrying Ellie over a shoulder and a strong arm wrapped around Hazyl. It should be Jay right in the middle of whatever shenanigans Will, Adam and Kevin were getting into as Voight rolled his eyes at the male members of his unit.

What was even more heartbreaking was that she could tell Ellie was thinking the same thing in the way her smile was a little dimmer and the way she was reluctant to swipe a bite of dough despite the encouragement of her uncles.

This was a tradition that she’d shared with her father and she wasn’t used to the idea of it changing. Didn’t want to get used to it.

This made Hailey furious at the world and unbelievably sad for Ellie and Hazyl’s future without their dad.

Hailey’s father was less than perfect. Less than a man.

But Hailey’s children had a father who would move heaven and earth for them. A father who was perfect in their eyes and the bravest man they knew.

Now, Hailey still had a less than perfect father but Ellie and Hazyl lost their father who was more than perfect.

It wasn’t fair and it didn’t make sense just like their Christmas hadn’t made sense.

Instead of the happy, joyful day it should have been it was really only a husk of that. There were a few hearty laughs, a few beaming smiles and there was a genuine effort to try to have a fun Christmas but none of their hearts were really in it, each thinking of the brother, friend, father, son and husband they had lost.

The house was dark now, the only lights coming from the Christmas tree she was sitting beside. Will and the team had left a few hours ago after putting Ellie and Hazyl to bed for her. She had thanked them and assured them that she would be alright by herself--she would have to be alright by herself.

Now, hours later sitting on the cold floor in the dark, empty house beside a Christmas tree that almost seemed as lonely as she now that Christmas was almost over, Hailey let herself cry.

She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes as she let out gut-wrenching sobs, her heart aching with want. 

What she wouldn’t give to have Jay wrap his arms around her.

Crying even harder, she thought of his smile and rare belly laughs. She thought of the way his eyes sparkled when Ellie threw her arms around him exuberantly.

She thought of his kind hands and generous heart. His determination to put away evil and protect his unit--his family.

She thought of the way he shielded her from danger, the way he’d held her, the way he loved her.  

She thought about past Christmases. His strong hands carrying in their tree year after year. The way he always let her move around the ornaments he’d hung if she didn’t like where he’d put them.

His tall frame placing the star on the tree and then helping Ellie do the honors once she came along. 

And then she remembered the Christmas five years ago that she’d told Jay they were pregnant with Ellie. The joy on his face as he unwrapped a positive pregnancy test, little booties and a onesie.

The way he had kissed her and told her all of the plans he had for their family; talk of babies and a house filled with love, growing old with each other. How he would always protect her, be there for her and their children.

But he had lied and today someone had celebrated Christmas with their alive little girl while she spent Christmas with a dead husband and her little girls’ dead father.*

She’d done a lot of that this year but the hardest parts were the parts when he wasn’t there.

He had died, leaving her with toddler and pregnant with their second baby. She’d had to protect them all by herself. She’d had to be there for them even as she was falling apart.

She’d had to pick out another girl name and she’d had to put the nursery together herself.

But one of the hardest things she’d had to do was give birth without him by her side. Cradling a newborn Hazyl, crying in her hospital bed knowing Jay would never know this little girl that looked so much like him.

Introducing her to Ellie, wishing Jay was there to see how enraptured his Ellie-bug was with her new little sister. Bringing her home alone, needing Will to carry Hazyl’s car seat because Jay wasn’t there to do it for her while she recovered from childbirth.

She thought being a pregnant widow with a toddler was hard. 

Healing from birth, breastfeeding a newborn, chasing a toddler all while still being a grieving widow was harder.

Having Hazyl this year was the best gift she’d received but it was the hardest thing she’d ever done. It was difficult to bring a new life into the world when the mother had just lost her whole world. 

Loving her children without constantly grieving over what they’d lost was nearly impossible.

They should be celebrating this year. Celebrating the two little girls they had made through their love. Celebrating the life they had made together but instead, Hailey was left to pick up the pieces of a life that was so different from last year all by herself.

Taking a trembling breath, Hailey picked up the picture frame that was sitting beside her. Fresh tears filled her eyes as she looked at Jay’s handsome face, running shaky fingertips over his stubbled jaw as if he was really here with her.

“I miss you, Jay. So much,” She whispered out brokenly as she clutched the frame to her chest.

God, did she miss him.

Clinching her eyes shut, a few tears escaped as she rested her head against the wall. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there like that, hugging Jay’s photo to her full breasts but a small cry pulled her out of the grief-filled stupor she’d been sitting in.

It was coming from Hazyl’s baby monitor and the tightness of her chest told her it was probably close to midnight, time for Hazyl’s feeding.

So, it was time to be strong again. Christmas was over and her heart was still shattered but she had two little girls relying on her to get them through this.

To keep Jay���s memory alive even if it tore her apart inside to remember what never would be.

Another cry came from the monitor. 

Hailey kissed the cool glass over Jay’s picture reverently before putting it back under the tree and pushing herself up off the floor.

Her eyes caught Jay’s empty stocking hanging over the fireplace and she swallowed hard, pressing a hand tightly to her stomach.

Hailey took a breath, her eyes glassy with tears as she squared her shoulders and forced herself to get it together as she walked towards the stairs, towards her daughter’s cries.

With one last glance, she saw Christmases with Jay flash before her eyes. The laugher, the presents, the color, everything as they added more and more life to the house they’d bought for their future.

It had been too short but they’d had a partnership, a love that could cross time and space and in her heart, even though Jay wasn’t physically there with them any more, Hailey knew he was still there with her.

He was there in her heart, in the memories she saw all around the house, in the two babies they’d been blessed with before he’d been forced to leave her.

He was her great love story and her heart still belonged to him no matter how many Christmases passed. 

She whispered into the cold, empty living room, “I love you, Jay and I always will. Merry Christmas, my darling husband.”

I hope you enjoyed and please don’t kill me? 

I didn’t think I would write anything sadder than the prequel I wrote to this but I don’t know, I think this one just might have it beat. Tell me what you guys think! I’m not really sure why exactly I felt compelled to write this terribly sad one-shot during what’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year but I did and I blame The Piano Guys.

I thought about publishing on Christmas but thought it was too sad to do that so New Year’s Day it is! Not sure if that’s any better but I do hope you enjoyed it in some form or fashion even if it’s not the happy upstead Christmas you guys probably wanted.

* was a reference to Jay’s cause of death mentioned in the prequel one-shot entitled ‘we’ll never be able to treasure life enough’.

Let me know what you guys thought! Love you all and I hope to have some new stories coming your way soon!

Happy New Year!!

#upstead #hailey upton #jay halstead #ellie halstead #hazyl halstead #family #angst #christmas fic

[the-13th-battalion]

⭐ have a star!!! For that one ask!!!

OK SORRY THIS TOOK ME A WHILE I really wanted to talk about chapter two of Where The Shadow Ends but I had to post it first skdkkskd

Here we go I have a lot of thoughts!!

He sighed wearily as he marched the perimeter of camp. His eyes passed over bunches of troopers huddled together in the mud, some of them lifting gaunt faces or giving him a salute. He tried to look past the battered men as he weaved through drooping, muddy tents and stepped around empty crates once filled to the brim with medical supplies and food. He prayed it was only more mud squelching in his boots, not blood, he had stepped in a lot of blood, too much blood-

He slammed his bucket back on his head. He swallowed against his nausea and forced his feet to keep moving, forced his eyes to keep searching.

Cody reached the other end of camp. He stopped and stared out at the smoke veiled wasteland, broken battle droids and hollow armor stacked in separate piles dotting the burnt landscape. Something quivered in his heart as he looked upon one of too many empty helmets. A blurry image of Obi-Wan's haunted eyes filled the blackened gaps.

He's not made for war. Not like us.

A more urgent thought followed. I have to find him.

He turned on his heel, as sharply as the mud would allow, and continued his circle.

I was talking with my friend about this before I started writing and she said "what if they were losing a battle" and I got this image of a vast, gray landscape covered in smoke and ash and blood, and all these piles of broken droids and neat rows of helmets and I was like "*crying* yup that'll work"

Also I will take EVERY opportunity to mention that Obi-Wan is too kind, too peaceful, for the violence and death he was given during the clone wars :( he didn't deserve any of it!

"Waxer and Boil are tending to the shinies."

This little section of dialogue from Cody is a random thought I had about the 212th. Waxer and Boil are the perfect ones to take over the care and feeding of shinies after their first battles. I can't imagine the absolute horror and grief these poor boys went through... they need some people like Waxer and Boil to talk them through anything bothering them, to help them breathe, to bundle them in blankets or give them food or whatever they need <3

He hesitated. Cody had shaken Obi-Wan from long meditations before, but this time felt different. Cody could practically see the weight resting on Obi-Wan's shoulders. He watched his eyes roam under his eyelids and his heart ached to imagine the horrors he might be reliving.

I can't let him do this alone.

This part here is a reference to a headcanon I share! Cody (and other people who love Obi-Wan) shake Obi-Wan out of long meditations because they're probably unhealthy! No one should spend so much time in their own thoughts, especially when it's most likely sad guilty thoughts :( also I imagine the Force is an ocean and one can actually drown in it...

Obi-Wan's eyes flew open and he let out a startled gasp. He grappled for a hold on Cody's arm, a grounding technique he recognized from watching Anakin interact with Obi-Wan. Cody unclipped his vambrace and allowed it to fall to the ground, giving Obi-Wan an easier grip. He waited as Obi-Wan took one, then two carefully calculated breaths.

This!! Right here!! Apart from being one of my favorite soft moments, this is a reference again to people shaking Obi out of long meditations. I bet Anakin does this more than anyone else, and I bet Cody has witnessed this. Anakin is probably no stranger to panic and needing to be grounded, so I headcanon that he created this method. Anyone who needs to be grounded can just grab hold of his arm. Obi probably has this as pure instinct now and just...grabbed Cody's arm, and then Cody was like "oh crap that's probably not comfy with my armor" and sdkdkks I'm getting sidetracked

Obi-Wan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Cody's chest tightened. Kriff it. I hope Fuzzy still has a stash of his migraine medication.

Honestly I wholeheartedly believe Obi-Wan gets migraines in canon. Also citing this gives me another excuse to yell about F U Z Z Y *sobbing*

"Yes, but sometimes, they are a glimpse of the future." Obi-Wan sighed. His hand went to the bridge of his nose again. "My master believed in visions and prophecies and such, but I never did, even though I had a recurring vision when I was a padawan. He had me seeing mind healers for it. He believed it was some sort of terrible premonition."

Cody imagined a much smaller, younger version of Obi-Wan in a huge chair, his freckled nose crinkled in indignation and his little arms crossed. He began to smile. "What did you think?"

"I thought it was just a nightmare."

This is a nod to the first chapter, but also mostly to headcanons I share about Obi's struggles with visions as a child. I think about it a lot, mostly because it's super dramatic and we all know I'm extremely dramatic lol

also I wanted an excuse to write in angry baby Obi in a big chair

Obi-Wan's smile faded too quickly. He stared down at his free hand, fingers absently twisting in the hem of his tunic. "They're all counting on me, Cody. They're all relying on me to lead them safely through hell. They trust me, and I can't let them down, but sometimes I look at their faces and the weight of that responsibility nearly crushes me."

The admission hung in the air for several heartbeats before Cody spoke. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Granted," came the immediate reply.

"You were not made for this war, but what you've done in it, what you continue to do, is incredible. You have inspired so many people to stand and fight for a peaceful future. You have brought light to the darkest places and joy to the most sorrowful hearts. That's what they see, that's what I see. That's why we trust you. We see a man who fights for truth and justice, but fights with honor and mercy. A man who would lay down his life for a stranger. A man who genuinely cares for the people in this galaxy, for the people he loves."

Back when this fic was just an idea, I was bouncing ideas off my friend and she suggested a part about Obi-Wan discussing the pressure he feels in his position as a general and like a hundred other jobs. I loved it, and it morphed into THIS.

I'm not saying Cody's simping, but Cody's simping.

The storm in Obi-Wan's eyes calmed. "That's rather poetic of you."

Cody's cheeks reddened. "Ah...you left your datapad open once. You were reading poetry when you fell asleep. It...caught my eye."

Obi-Wan laughed. "I'm glad someone else enjoys a good poem. You know, poetry should be read aloud. Perhaps I should read some sometime, to you and the others."

Cody smiled. "That would be nice."

LISTEN!! OBI-WAN READS POETRY!!! He's such a poetry kind of guy HONESTLY

As Obi-Wan's gentle voice lifted into the night air, many of the troopers huddled together to sleep under shared blankets on what patches of dry ground they could find. His voice carried across the camp. Hundreds of hearts beat in unison as the words filled their heads and peace flooded their veins.

Cody fell asleep with his cheek resting on Obi-Wan's tousled hair, lulled by hushed lines of poetry in a Coruscanti accent. Obi-Wan drifted off not long after, his head on Cody's shoulder, their fingers still entwined.

LET THE 212TH CUDDLE 2021

Also I wrote that last paragraph before I wrote most of this fic so like I was leading up to this the whole time... they deserve the hugs <3

THIS WAS REALLY LONG OOPS anyway those are my thoughts :)

#YEET #thank you for the ask!! #star wars #star wars fanfiction #my fic #obi wan kenobi #commander cody

[heistmaster69]

pariet lilium (2)

pariet lilium

pariet lilium by @heistmaster69 chapter two

A/N: ive accepted that nobody will ever read this and im chill with that but if you do read this let me know pls ALSO TO MY FIRST FOLLOWER/MUTUAL @fanficflaneuse THANK YOU SO MUCH this is dedicated to you love! 

a chill 1.5k words

chapter one

~

“Sorry, Reed. They told me to.”

Frankie’s eyes jolted open. She felt afraid, alone. Her face was stiff and her eyes were full of tears. They ached, as did her chest. She sat up steadily and leaned against her bed frame, wiping a few stray tears with her sleeves. She grasped at her sternum, trying to ease what felt like a fifty-pound weight crushing her lungs. The tears were still falling, she had a lump in her throat, and she was coated in a sticky layer of sweat. It felt like the air in the dormitories was thick with dust. 

Frankie pushed her blankets aside and brushed her dark hair out of her face. A gentle light from the common room illuminated the room enough so she could see, so she stepped down, feeling the cold stone on her feet as she walked to the bathroom. The squeak of the faucet and the cold water dripping down her face didn’t do much to ease her. She needed a hug, and she wanted one from him.  Frankie pulled her quilt off of the bed and walked down to the common room to find some calm in a cup of coffee and the fire. After getting her mug, she heard a voice.

“Chess.” Draco sighed. His nickname for her. He sat in an armchair, blonde hair a mess, bags under his eyes with and a strange kind of emotion swimming within them.

“Merlin, did you sleep?” Frankie stepped toward the armchair, moving to stand in front of him. He couldn’t look at her. “Draco?”

He shook his head.

“Was it him again?” She sat on the rug in front of him, resting her forearms on his knees. 

“I could ask you the same question.” He met her gaze and she saw what was in his eyes. Fear. 

It’s no lie that Lucius Malfoy was a Death Eater. The most loyal of them all. After what happened in the Chamber of Secrets last year, Draco’s nightmares had been full of him. His father returning to the Dark Lord and pulling Draco down alongside him. Frankie’s dreams were daisies compared to the thunderstorms of Draco’s, but he understood her. They understood each other.

“Yeah.” She looked away. “I just feel stupid. I should’ve known or something.”

Draco moved her face to meet his eyes, bringing his hand up to wipe away one of her tears. “What he did to you was a right awful move, Frankie. You didn’t deserve it.” Draco grabbed her coffee and took a swig like it was firewhiskey.

“He thought so.” She scoffed. “I can’t even say his name, let alone hear it. It’s such a stupid thing to be messed up about-I’m sorry, are you even alright?”

The two sat in silence for a minute, a few minutes.

“He’s trying to come back, Chess.” His voice broke. “I’m terrified.”  He sounded so scared and it broke her heart. 

In one fell swoop, Draco pulled Frankie off the floor and onto him. She immediately hugged him. She needed this as much as he did. As she felt his cries, she began to break into strangled sobs.

They sat there, holding each other, until the sun began to rise.

~

No one should have to take Divination this early in the morning. Trelawney babbled on about tea leaves and how they show the future, when really, all Frankie saw in Theo’s teacup was a blob.

“Franks-”

“What is it with you boys and saying everything but my name?” Frankie, Francesca, Chess, and now Frank. “It’s only a little funny.”

“Not my problem, Frank, but what is my problem is these tea leaves. I’m seeing something very exciting-Blaise- come take a look at this!” Blaise turned from his table with Draco, peering into Theo’s teacup. 

“Woah, Francesca!” He exclaimed, nudging Draco to take a look as well, but he must’ve missed the joke, because he just looked confused. 

Theo showed her the leaves, it looked like two-oh.

“Well it looks like your prophecy’s come true, Frankster.” He smirked.

“Go on, Theodore.” She laughed.

“Well here, you see, it says that you have some massive knockers!” Blaise, Theo, Crabbe, Goyle and most of the boys in the near vicinity burst in to laughter, Frankie with them, shaking her head. 

“Shove off, Zabini.” Cher laughed. Pansy and Daphne began throwing crumpled up sheets of paper at the boys. 

Frankie noticed that Draco snuck a glance.

Daphne piped up. “Cher, don’t worry, Theodore can’t help it. He wants you too bad.” The boys led a chorus of oohs, shoving him and snickering.

Frankie couldn’t stop herself from seeing how Draco reacted.

He didn’t.

~

Frankie day in the library, sitting in between to rows of books. She was piling up a stack of books on spells, spell creation, and the Unforgivables when she saw a blur of bright blonde hair.

“Malfoy? Malfoy-”

He interrupted. “I’m sorry about the boys, earlier.”

Frankie rolled her eyes. “If you actually cared about me you would know that I didn’t give a single-”

“-I care about you Chess-where the hell is this coming from?” He walked up to her and leaned against the stacks.

Salazar, did I say that out loud? “I was only joking, dimwit.”

"If this is about last night-" He started.

"What about last night?" Frankie's heart rate began to accelerate.

"Nothing-I-It just happens often, not that I mind, Merlin I do not mind, but I was just hoping that I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything." He is so cute. Wait-no, no he's not.

"You didn't, I was thinking the same thing, actually." She let out s quiet giggle, not seeing the blush that crept up his neck.

"How would you make me uncomfortable?"

"I don't know. I must've been crushing you or something. Plus I'm definitely not on the top of anyone's list of People They'd Want To Cuddle. Most people just see me as the fat girl who no one would want to shag."

"Who wouldn't want to shag-" He coughed, praying that she didn't hear that. "I mean, you were definitely not crushing me, and Chess, cuddling you was a very nice experience."

Frankie chuckled to herself, turning back to her book. "Thanks, Malfoy."

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” He sat down across from her. “What are you reading?”

“About the Killing Curse.” She didn’t look up from the book, but she wasn’t focusing on the words anyway.

“Merlin, Chess. How wonderful.” They shared a laugh.

“Do you know what a Horcrux is, Malfoy?” Frankie looked up, pointing at a picture on the tattered pieces.

“Well it sounds lovely. What is it?”

“It’s disgusting. When you use the killing curse, you break your soul, and it can sort of create immortality, in a twisted way.”

“Immortality? So by using the curse, you save your soul to live another, well, someone else’s lifetime.”

“That’s the point. It’s really creepy.” Frankie tossed the book to him.

“It says here that Herpo the Foul used them to-bloody hell that’s disgusting!” He tossed the book back to her with a grimace.

“A Horcrux can be created by anyone who commits murder, if they want to.”

“I wonder if You-Know-Who made those.” Draco wondered. “I mean, my father told me stories that would make your skin crawl, and he was always blabbing about immortality and being invincible-” His face fell.

“Malfoy, do you think-”

“No,”

No.

“Oh my god, Malfoy. Oh my god.” Frankie threw the book and scrambled to her feet as Draco did as well. “Bloody, god, Merlin, oh my god!”

He was panting heavily, Frankie grabbed fistfuls of her hair, feeling nauseated.

“I think I’m gonna be sick, Chess, Merlin.”

“He-” She looked him dead in the eye. “He did that, didn’t he?” 

“Bloody hell Chess, Salazar-” He stared into her soul, and reached to grab her sleeve. “We’ve got to tell Snape.”

~

“And why, might I ask, were you researching Horcruxes to begin with, Miss Reed?”

“Professor, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you-” Frankie panted, still freaking out.

“Why is it important? What’s important is that the Dark-I mean You-Know-Who is still alive.” Draco shouted. 

“Malfoy, It’s fine. Professor I believe there is a way to reverse the effects of the Killing Curse, and Horcruxes are the key to figuring it out. It’s a strange loophole, I guess.” Frankie sat down next to Draco.

Professor Snape scoffed, but the two could tell that there was a strange gleam in his eye. “There is no cure for the Killing Curse-”

“It’s not a cure, Snape. It would separate the soul of the dead with the piece of the soul of the killer and return it to the dead’s body somehow I just haven’t figured out-you know what-I’m not an idiot, I’ve been studying this for my entire life-”

“He Who Must Not Be Named has not returned, Francesca. Ten points from each of you for wasting my time with your childish nonsense and being out after curfew.” He stood up and went into his quarters with a flourish of his robe. 

Frankie hadn’t even realized that Draco had been holding her hand the entire time.

~

A/N: okay so i know that this isn’t as long as the last one, but i felt it was a good place to stop. I’m going ultimate slowburn slow with this fic lol. pls let me know what u think ! love you all ! mwah.

#draco x reader #draco malfoy #draco fanfiction #draco x y/n #draco x hermione #drarry #oc #smut #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy smut #hogwarts #harry potter #hermione #dramione #pansy parkinson #blaise zabini #slytherin #quidditch #aesthetic #pariet lilium #original character #frankie reed #draco #wattpad #fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter smut #voldemorts daughter #tom riddle #voldemort

[frobster]

I read your winterspidershield fic and it was HOT!! So could I please request one were Steve and Bucky have been together for a little bit before Peter came into the picture. And something makes Peter starts to think that they only want him for sex (because maybe they posted a picture of them at date night and he wasn't in it or he walked in on the wrong part of a conversation or whatever). Anyways I am in dire need of a angst filled fic with a happy/extremely fluffy ending. ♡♡

I hope this does your request justice !! ♡

☆☆☆

Steve and Bucky had been an inseparable pair since they met during childhood. They had gone through hell together, both literally and figuratively, and absolutely nothing could ever tear them apart. Though their relationship had to remain hidden before and during the war, the modern world was far more accepting. People still tried to shame them, tried to preach to them, but they had the power to ignore the hate this time and continue being together without any fear.

There was a sense of freedom that made their love feel more natural than ever. They were always touching somehow - holding hands, leaning on each other, cuddling. The kisses they shared were sweet and frequent, and not even the jokes from the rest of the team about how sickeningly sweet they were together could ever deter them. 

The two super soldiers shared a happy relationship for years, never wanting for anything else. They were content together and felt life was perfect. Modern amenities ensured that they never went hungry or cold, never lacked entertainment. Sure it was exhausting to still be saving the world, but it was a fulfilling sort of exhaustion that left them feeling accomplished at the end of the day.

Everything went smoothly and simply, until there was a new addition to the team.

This young man, who was practically still a boy, was immediately impressive. He was quick, agile, strong beyond belief. He was smart and witty, quick with a joke in a way that rivaled Clint. He fit in well with everyone else despite being significantly younger, and it wasn’t long until the happy couple started taking interest in him.

Bucky was attracted to the scrappy fighter he saw, the way Peter would use his size to his advantage. Enemies would underestimate him just because of his slighter stature, but none of them could see the firm muscle beneath his bright red suit. None of them knew how much power was packed into his body. Bucky appreciated that.

Steve was attracted to the insatiable curiosity, the excitable gleam in his eyes. Peter was often awake at random hours when Steve couldn’t sleep either. They would talk about everything and nothing, about art and engineering, about society and science. Everyone on the team was smart of course, but there was something refreshing about seeing such a young person so involved with current events and aware of the world around them.

The subject hung in the air between Steve and Bucky for months. They were still happy together, still worked perfectly. Nothing would ever change that. But there was something else too - a new sense of longing that they both felt but were too nervous to acknowledge.

It took nearly a year for the two to admit their budding affection towards Peter to each other. It happened at nearly the same time. They were sitting together on the couch in their unit after dinner, the dishes all washed and dessert finished. The television was on but neither of them were really paying attention to it.

“So, Peter,” Steve started.

“So, Peter,” Bucky echoed, nodding slowly.

There was enough proof in their words to convey their affection of the boy to each other. There seemed to be a relief of pressure between them, a lowering of expectations and inhibitions. They glanced at each other with small smiles before Bucky reached out to hold Steve’s hand.

“It’s you and me, Stevie. Nothing would ever change that,” he said, which Steve nodded in agreement with.

“I know, Buck. But, y’know, we could always add another. Yeah?” Steve sounded so cautious, so hopeful.

“Yeah. We can.”

It was surprisingly easy to woo Peter. The boy had never been in any sort of serious relationship before, nothing that lasted more than a few months. He was eager for attention and affection in a way that had Steve and Bucky both eager to shower him with it. Peter was also not very good at subtlety, so it didn’t take long at all for the rest of the team to discover the new relationship.

Natasha seemed the most amused by it, though Clint was a close second. She was often smirking whenever all three of them were in a room together, piled up on a couch as if there wasn’t enough space for them to all sit normally. Bruce didn’t really care one way or another, so long as everyone was happy and comfortable. Tony seemed the most uncomfortable, if only because he saw Peter as a son who was now dating two of his friends.

The happy duo became a happy trio almost seamlessly. They spent every possible moment together and Peter absolutely loved getting to be sandwiched between the two larger men, he felt safe and loved like never before. 

What Peter did not expect from his two new boyfriends was a very active sex life. More nights than not, they went at least one round before going to bed. He was worn out in the best way and slept heavier than ever before. When they all fell asleep, he would be cradled between them like something precious, something to be treasured.

But eventually, Peter started waking up alone. There were notes at first telling him that they had gone to the gym or out for a run or had an early meeting. Then the notes stopped too, and Peter would wake up in an empty bed, the sheets cold except for where they were draped over him.

The bed felt too big for just him.

There was no talk about ending their relationship. Steve and Bucky were as in love as always, and everything was the same during the day when others were around. But at night, Peter started to feel lonely. There weren’t enough blankets to replace the feeling of laying down with his boyfriends when they would stay out late until after he went to sleep and already be gone by the time he woke up.

The sex, of course, was as vigorous as ever. Steve liked to hold Peter down and fuck him into the mattress, to leave the sheets a mess beneath them. Bucky liked to make Peter ride him, gripping his slender hips to help him keep rhythm. Everyone was always satisfied by the end and Peter was happy with the rush of endorphins rushing through him. But they faded, as all other things did, and left him feeling just as abandoned as before.

It all came to a head when Peter was aimlessly scrolling through social media one night, alone in bed, and saw a post from Bucky. It was a selfie of him and Steve out at dinner, posted just a half hour ago. They were both grinning and pressed close together, looking as happy as they always did when it was just the two of them. A pang of sadness hit Peter square in his chest and he had to toss his phone aside before he saw any more.

Tears welled up quickly, and Peter was sobbing openly into his pillow. He felt like a complete fool. Steve and Bucky clearly only wanted someone to make their bedroom activities more exciting, to add some variety to their relationship. They were obviously meant for each other, and Peter just didn’t fit in with them anymore.

Hours passed before the two returned home. Peter was still awake, curled up on his side as tears continued to soak into his pillow. He tensed when he heard the others, hoping they would think he was asleep and not try to talk to him.

Bucky came in first, still chuckling at something Steve had said as he started undressing for bed. Steve trailed in a minute later and Peter had to squeeze his eyes shut and bite his tongue to keep from moving when he heard the two kissing. He would never feel that again.

It seemed to be an eternity until they finally parted and continued getting ready for bed. They spoke in hushed voices but Peter could still make out what they said.

“You think we shoulda brought him with?” Bucky asked, mouth full of suds from his toothpaste.

“It’s our anniversary, Buck. We celebrate it together every year. We have a different date for him,” Steve replied over the sound of running water as he washed his hands.

Peter whimpered, finally realizing how excluded he really was. They purposefully didn’t invite him. He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than just being forgotten. He squeezed the pillow against his chest even tighter, but he chose the wrong time to do so. Bucky was just stepping out of the bathroom as Peter moved.

“Hey, Pete. You still awake?” Bucky asked, sounding hopeful.

Peter just stayed still and silent, hoping Bucky would assume he just shifted in his sleep. But that was not his luck. The bed dipped as Bucky kneeled on it and shuffled over to Peter. The larger man laid down and pressed up close behind Peter, nuzzling at his hair.

“Come on, I saw you moving,” Bucky insisted as he leaned over even more and started peppering kisses all over Peter’s face.

“Bucky, stop,” Peter grumbled as he wiggled away, voice still rough from crying.

Bucky did lean away as Peter asked but he still tried to reach out and rest a hand on Peter’s hip to keep some sort of contact between them. He was frowning as he watched Peter move away, finally cueing in to the fact that the younger boy was upset.

“What’s wrong, Pete? Talk to me, please,” Bucky said softly.

Before Peter could respond, Steve came out too and sat down next to Bucky. Just a quick glance between the two told him all he needed to know about the situation. He sighed and leaned over Bucky to rest a hand on their boyfriend too. Peter didn’t want to be touched though, so he finally got up out of bed, out of reach of the other two.

“Peter, baby. What’s got you all upset?” Steve asked, sounding completely genuine.

Peter didn’t want to talk, but he also knew they had to. He would just continue to feel betrayed and abandoned if he didn’t let it all out at some point.

“Do you guys even want me around anymore? You’re always off with each other, at the gym, on dates.” Peter took a sharp breath and turned to look at them again. “On. Dates.”

Bucky looked guilty and Steve looked surprised, like he hadn’t realized how their actions had affected Peter. They both reached out, moving nearly in sync as they shifted on the bed to make room for him. He felt another pang in his chest as he watched them move so well together. They had been together for decades. What right did he have to get between that?

“Baby, I am so sorry. We never meant to exclude you, not at all,” Steve insisted as he gently pulled Peter’s arm to tug the boy into bed.

Peter was reluctant but he moved anyway. He was tired and cold, the bed was comfortable and warm. All he wanted was to settle between his boyfriends and feel like he was wanted again, as unlikely as it seemed to happen.

“You are an equal part in this relationship, Peter.” Bucky shifted to get Peter settled between him and Steve on the bed. “We love you, that hasn’t changed. I know we’ve been busy lately, a little distant, but… there’s a reason.”

“Bucky-”

“Steve, he deserves to know.”

Peter’s suspicion was growing as the other two talked like he wasn’t there. He was tired, grumpy, and wanted to have some modicum of confidence back. It had been shaken for months by then, but seeing the proof of their blissful date night without him was really the last straw.

“Can you not talk like that? I’m right here, and I’m not some dumb kid. Just tell me why you’ve been avoiding me,” Peter bit out, voice sharper than ever before.

“Mostly because Steve’s a terrible liar,” Bucky said with a grin.

Steve made an indignant sound and punched Bucky’s arm, who just laughed and reached out to ruffle Steve’s hair. The easy happiness between them would’ve warmed anyone else, but Peter still felt cold and excluded. He hugged himself and ducked his head as he tried to block out their happiness.

“Peter, we were trying to plan something for our anniversary. For the one when we all came together. Bucky and I went out tonight alone because it’s our anniversary and, yeah, I can’t keep secrets very well. With the mood of the evening, I would’ve let it slip somehow. But Bucky and I have been working on figuring out what to do with you for so long now,” Steve finally admitted.

Peter’s head jerked up and he looked at Steve with wide eyes. He was wanted? They were actually thinking about him while they were away? He took a shaky breath and rubbed at his face before he was able to speak again.

“You.. you could’ve just asked me,” Peter murmured, sounding as exhausted as he felt.

There was a beat of silence as the two older men looked at each other. They realized their mistake more and more every time Peter spoke. 

“Peter, we are so sorry,” Bucky said again. He took a risk and wrapped his arm around Peter rather than just resting his hand on the boy’s shoulder. And to his delight, Peter leaned into him.

“For being over a century old, you guys are really dumb.”

Steve had to laugh as he leaned over and pressed close, getting Peter squished between him and Bucky. Peter had missed that, missed being held so securely by his boyfriends. They offered comfort that he had missed like a part of himself over the past couple months and it was like a weight lifted off him when they both wrapped their arms around him.

“Petey, you gotta realize that we’re still getting used to all this. We had to hide our relationship before. And even before we got together, we were like two parts of a whole. We trust each other more than anyone. But you’re up there too, you really are. We love you and we love having a relationship with you. This isn’t a relationship between Bucky and I with you as a third wheel - this is one relationship with all three of us.” Steve was confident, clear, entirely sure of himself and the situation.

Bucky chimed in immediately with his own words of support: “We got a history of mistakes, doll. But loving you was never one of them. We want you with us, we want to make you happy.”

Hearing such support from the two men had Peter feeling emotional. He sniffled and rubbed at his face again, trying to swipe away any tears before they fell. His emotions could’ve been made stronger by his exhaustion, all of this could. But he just wanted it solved before they all got too loopy.

“Alright, alright,” Peter grumbled, but he was starting to smile again. “I get it, you’re clueless saps.”

Steve and Bucky just pressed close with Peter between them, squeezing their boyfriend close. They knew they had a lot to make up for, but they hoped their anniversary celebration would help. 

Peter finally yawned, coming down from his emotional high and slumping against his boyfriends. They only held him tighter as they all settled down into bed, the blankets getting tugged up around them to wrap them up in a cocoon. Peter had missed it so much. He practically melted into the cuddle pile with a happy sound and a smile.

“We love you,” Bucky said again before kissing his head.

“We love you so much, sweetheart. Our anniversary next month is gonna be so worth this, I promise. And we’ll never leave you alone ever again.” Steve pressed his own kiss to Peter’s cheek after his own reassurance.

“Love you too,” Peter murmured with a smile, already starting to doze off.

Next month on their anniversary, marking a whole year of being together, Peter was squeezing onto both Bucky and Steve’s hands tightly as he dragged them along into the NASA Kennedy Space Center. They had tickets for two days since they knew Peter would want to see every single little detail and would gush over every single display. And he had no idea yet that it was only the first part of their week-long trip. They also had tickets to Disney World and intended to spend time just relaxing on the beach together.

Peter’s happiness was the most important thing to Steve and Bucky. They loved him, they all loved each other, and they would never risk that happiness again.

☆☆☆

♡ requests open! ♡

#winterspidershield #bucky x peter x steve #bucky/peter/steve #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #asks #anon #my writing #im very cold and sleepy

[all1e23]

Heart & Soul [Pt.21]

Chapter: Burn

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Everyone waits to hear word of Bucky’s fate.

Warnings: Some angst. Just read it. ;-)

A/N:  ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though! Thanks!*

Y/n couldn’t remember the ride to the hospital, She didn’t remember getting into the car or who put her, maybe Steve. She thought Steve had held her at one point, but she couldn’t be sure, and then someone had helped her into the back of one of the squad cars. She briefly remembered Tony joining her, but she had no idea what he said to her or if he said anything at all. It was all covered in a thick fog and the only thing she could hear were her own pleas, her begging Bucky not to leave her. Maybe that happened, maybe it didn’t. Tony did like to talk so if he talked the entire ride, she wouldn’t be shocked. Y/n did remember watching his lips move, a few smirks, and empty chuckles. None of it was heard.  Y/n imagined whatever Tony was whispering to her, was intended to keep her calm or their attempt to get her to prove to them she was still alive and breathing.

She wasn’t really so she didn’t need to pretend for their sake. There was nothing they could do or say. Nothing would help. The only one who could help her was gone and she couldn’t get him back no matter how much she begged. 

How she ended up in a hospital room surrounded by two nurses and a doctor she truly couldn’t figure out, it was like a huge chunk of time was missing. Though, it didn’t matter. No one was listening to her, it was doubtful they would answer any of her questions. Y/n had begged till her throat was raw to be taken to Bucky, she told them he was her Alpha and needed to be with him. When that didn’t work she tried to scare them, telling them how furious he would be that they kept her from him. Not one of them fell for it, they cut her off at every turn and refused to give her any details on his condition. 

Well, If they wouldn’t let her see him than they weren’t allowed to touch her, every time they asked to examine her arm she responded the same way, "You need to speak with my Alpha before you can touch me."

They have spent the last thirty minutes going back and forth and she had the same response yet again. Yes, she knew it was childish and irresponsible but Y/n didn’t care. She would do whatever it took to find out if Bucky was okay, which included being difficult. 

“I've already told you. No, if you want to examine me you need to speak with my Alpha first and let me see him.” 

The poor emergency room doctor groaned and ran a hand down his face in agony. He’s spent the last twenty minutes explaining, in five different ways, in normal situations he would speak with her Alpha before ever trying to touch, but she doesn’t have a legal Alpha. Therefore her care is in her own hands and she can make that decision and it is actually against the law for him to discuss her injuries with anyone else. 

The Beta was seconds away from completely losing his mind. 

“Would you let the doctors do their damn job?”

 Y/n looked up to find Tony standing in the doorway to the examine room they were holding her hostage in and tears immediately filled her eyes at the sight of her friend. Tony quickly ushered everyone from the room (not that one of them minded, they needed the break) and walked over to her wrapping her in his arms, cuddling and comforting her in a way that only another Omega could.

“It’s going to be okay. Take a deep breath,” Tony whispered against the side of her head. Tony couldn't calm her the way Bucky could if he was here, but he hoped he could provide her enough comfort to calm her. 

“Where is he?” She gasped out between sobs. “Have you seen him? I tried to find out where he was, but they made me come in here and they kept saying over and over he didn’t have an Omega and I couldn’t see him.”

Tony cursed softly and tightened his hold around her, he couldn’t wait till these damn laws changed and mates would be recognized regardless of bonding. He pulled back and examined Y/n, taking stock of the bruise on her wrist and patches of blood staining her skin. Her bloody clothes were piled in the corner of the room for them to take as evidence. It was most likely Bucky’s blood but if the Alpha was here, he would tear Tony apart for not making sure it wasn’t hers.

“Are you hurt?” Tony asked softly, trying to spot any injuries he could from the

“Tony are you listening to me!? I need to be with him--“

Tony put a finger to her lips and sighed heavily; if this was what the doctors had to deal with it was no wonder they ran out of the room like it was on fire. 

“Listen to me. I need to make sure you’re okay before I take you to him. So tell me if you’re hurt anywhere so I can bring the doctors back in here to clear you.”

He waited, watched his words settled in her head and eyes before he slowly moved his finger off her lips once she seemed to approve of his plan.

“You’re - you're really going to take me to see him?”

“Yep. I swear on Steve’s sweet ass.” Tony grinned at her eye roll and nodded to her wrist. “Broken? Can you move it?”

Y/n shook her head and flexed her wrist several times as proof. 

“It’s fine. Brock grabbed too hard when I tried…” 

Y/n closed her eyes to try and force the images that were flashing through her mind out, but all she could see was Bucky laying on the floor covered in his own blood. She wasn’t even aware that she had started to cry again until Tony nuzzled her cheek with his nose and wiped something warm and wet from her cheek.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up, hm? Natasha grabbed some clothes from your place. After all, you don’t want to go see your Alpha seeing you like this now do we?”

Her eyes flew opened and she saw the cheeky grin he was wearing and she suddenly felt embarrassed for what she had said to the physician. 

“Oh… you heard that?”

“Mmm. Bet your ass I did. The whole hospital did. I wouldn’t be surprised if people three blocks away heard you. I’ve got something that belongs to you.””

Tony’s grin widened as he dug around in his pocket and slowly pulled out her necklace. Y/n gasped as he held it out before her. she thought Brock smashed it when he ripped it from her neck but there it was. In perfect condition. Just the way it was when Bucky had given it to her. 

“I had some spare time while I was waiting around… I fixed the chain.” Tony stepped behind her and slipped it back on her neck, securely locking it around her neck.

Her hand immediately reached for it and she pressed the stone so hard into her chest it was almost painful. It felt different than it had when Bucky placed it around her neck. It was heavy and hot, it felt like a lump of hot coal digging into her chest and leaving her with a painful brand to remind her what she could have had but would never again. Y/n could feel tears filling her eyes again, so she shut them and took a shaky breath in the hope her voice wouldn’t give her away, it did.

“T-thank you. I thought I had lost everything.” If I lost Bucky at least I have this, She couldn't bring herself to say it out loud, letting it be real. 

The grim faces that were on everyone standing in the hallways did nothing to ease the tension Y/n was feeling. It only made her tighten her grip on her necklace as she passed through the hallway filled with nearly the entire 84th precinct. Everyone was there. Clint was huddled up to Natasha. He looked worse off than the rest of the group and that was when she realized, he must have been the one to treat Bucky on the scene and in the ambulance. Natasha whispered something in Russian in his ear, but he barely nodded and burrowed his face further into his Alpha’s neck.

Y/n’s eyes fell on Sam who was pacing back and forth in front of a worried looking Maria. She’s never seen the Alpha’s hands shake like that before, it wasn’t something she would ever care to see again. Tony rested a hand on her shoulder and urged her towards Steve, who was standing outside Bucky’s door as if he was the guard dog, keeping watch on everyone who came and went. 

It was simply Steve being Steve, keeping a close eye on those he loved.

A large wall of muscle stepped in front of her causing her to come out of her clouded daze. She looked up at Steve and he was just stoic as ever. He wasn’t showing any emotion, but she remembered the way he scented at the warehouse. Y/n knew how truly worried he really was and it only added to her own. 

“Y/n, how is your wrist?” Steve asked, forcing a smile for her. 

Y/n shrugged carelessly and eyed the door to Bucky’s room, suddenly feeling unbearably queasy. If she walked in there and he was gone… Well, she didn’t really know what she would do, but she had a feeling she wouldn’t be coming out on her own two feet. 

“Is he... Did they have to take his arm?” She asked Steve in a soft whisper.

Y/n had heard the doctors shouting when they had wheeled him in from the ambulance, talking about blood loss and a dead limb but she was pulled away before she could ask any question or hear any more whispers. 

“He’s stable for now and no, they didn’t have to take his arm but he isn’t awake. He lost a lot of blood and we won’t know the full extent of the damage unless he… until he wakes up. Go on in. We will all be right out here if you need anything.”

Steve set a warm, comforting hand on her lower back and nodded towards the room. Letting her know it was okay and they would all be right there if she needed anything at all. Y/n took a deep breath, finding the courage to step towards the door when a nurse came barreling out of his room, nearly slamming into Y/n. The Beta narrowed her eyes at Y/n and blocked her path into the room.

“Can I help you with something?”

“I--“ 

Y/n felt her bottom lip quiver as the words caught in her throat, she only wanted to see him. Why did she keep getting blocked at every turn? It shouldn’t be so hard to see her Alpha. 

“I w-wanted to – to go see my – my –“

“You can’t go in there.” She cut Y/n off before she had a chance to finish and glanced down at the chart in her hands, Y/n’s heart instantly sank and she could feel her anger building. She was going to beat this nurse’s ass in the middle of the hospital if she said what Y/n thought she was about to say. 

 “You’re not his Omega.  He doesn’t have one.”

And there it was. 

Steve stepped up behind Y/n and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to calm, catching the anger and despair building in her scent. Y/n could throw a few punches and may even make it in the room, but she was an Omega and it wouldn’t last long. She needed to put her trust in someone else for a moment and let Steve help her where he could. 

“With all due respect ma’am, she is his Omega and she is going in there. If the doctor has a problem with that, he can discuss it with me, but for now. She’s going in that room and no one is getting in her way.”

The nurse looked around at all the Alphas no longer leaning against the wall, slouching on the side of vending machines or slumped in chairs, all of them were standing firm, ready to jump in and defend Y/n if they needed to. She huffed and pushed through the crowd, stomping towards the nurse station. Steve really didn’t care who she brought over, no one was keeping Y/n and Bucky apart after everything they had been through. He would fight every single Alpha in this hospital if he had to and he knew every cop on the floor felt the same. 

“Thank you, Steve. I-- thank you.”

Steve nodded.

“Go on. He needs you.”

The darkness of the room felt like a tomb, there was a chill in the air that was colder than the rest of the hospital and the only sound was an annoying beeping that pierced right through her heart every time it hit stung her ears. It was a constant mocking of what she lost, what was right in front of her but she was too scared to speak up and take a chance on. It was a harsh reminder that once again she made the wrong choice and the rest of her life would be filled with nothing but what-ifs and what could have been.

Y/n slowly made her way over to the bed and her eyes moving to the bandages wrapped around his left shoulder and spreading over his chest from what she assumed was emergency surgery. Her fingers gently ghosted over his shoulder and down the length of his arm until she reached his hand.  She gingerly climbed into the bed on his right side and laid her head on his chest, listening to the steady, albeit light thudding of his heart. From the moment, she was separated, she had this aching pull of their bond tugging at her heart and she wasn’t foolish to think that feeling it settle now that she was next to Bucky was a coincidence.

Whatever damage Brock caused between thankfully had not changed the fact that Bucky imprinted on her and she on him, Y/n thought that would bring her some peace, but it only made the ache she felt worsen. 

If there was a way for her to trade her soul for his, she would. Y/n would go back and tell him everything that she was holding back in her heart, she would gladly trade the rest of her days for his because there was no way she could live in a world where he didn’t exist. Y/n didn’t know how to live in a world where he wasn’t there to love her. 

It wasn’t possible

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you everything. I was scared that if I said how I felt it would all be real and then when it all fell apart it would hurt that much more. ” Y/n sobbed against the bandage that was wrapped around his chest, tightening the hold she had on his right hand when she finally stopped holding back. 

“I love you. I love you so much. I should have said it every minute of every day since the moment I knew. I should have made sure you knew  how much I love you. I’m so in love with you. Please don’t go. You can’t leave me because I love you Bucky.  I love you.”

Y/n carefully nuzzled her face into his neck, scenting him to silence her panic and in desperate hope, it would cause him to wake. The longer Bucky stayed still, the longer there was no change and the more minutes that passed of that incessant beeping the angrier she became. Bucky simply wasn’t allowed to leave her like this! This wasn’t going to be their story. Y/n leaned up enough to see his expressionless face and that was when she truly lost it.

“I forbid it!” She cried angrily, but her anger did nothing to wake and the more she went on the less angry her words became and the more frightened and heartbroken they sounded. 

“I know, that’s completely backward but we never do anything right do we? I forbid you to leave me because you’re mine and I’m yours. Please don’t leave me Alpha. I need you.” Her entire body sagged against him and nose fell back into the crook of his neck as she came apart next to him, weeping inconsolably. 

“Please don’t leave me Alpha. Please,” She repeated, whimpering against his skin, hoping to catch some of that sweet heat that was muted by the smell of the hospital. 

“Say that again.” 

A deep-voiced rumbled from under her as a gentle hand landed on the back of her head, making Y/n jump up to find Bucky smiling, it was a sleepy smile and his eyes were heavy but there he was staring back at her. She stared at him, mouth agape and unmoving as if she was waiting for this to be some dream. When Y/n realized it was no dream and he was awake, she choked out a gasping breath and fell back onto him, wrapping her arms around him as best she could without hurting him. Bucky chuckled weakly and wrapped his good arm around her, clutching her against his chest. 

“No need for all those tears. I'm not leaving you,”  Bucky into her hair, smiling at the scent of her lavender shampoo. "If I had known I needed to end up in the hospital to hear all that I would have let Stevie kick my ass weeks ago.”

She laughed and leaned forward capturing his lips whispering between each kiss, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have held back. I was just scared. I’m so sorry. Bucky brushed her hair out of her face, cupping her cheek with his right hand and shook his head. 

“It’s okay. We never do anything the right way remember?” He smiled, watching the way she avoided his eyes, he was mirroring her words from before which meant at the very least he heard the last part of her confession. His thumb gently tapped against her lips, a soft admonishment. Bucky wanted to see her pretty eyes shining back at him and she had nothing to be embarrassed about. 

“Maybe you didn’t say the words, but I knew you did the moment you said you trusted me. I’ve watched you give out your love freely, but your trust? That’s a different story, darlin’.”

Y/n smiled and leaned forward kissing him, frantically trying to pour all she felt for him into one small kiss. They didn’t have time for more, he needed to see his doctor and she needed to hear that he would be okay. Not to mention there was a hallway full of their family, waiting for word that he was awake and okay. She sighed into the kiss and slowly pulled away letting her forehead fall onto his.

“Say it again for me?” He rumbled against her lips, making her shiver despite her confusion.

Her brows furrowed. Y/n wasn't entirely sure what he meant but the smile on his face gave it away and she grinned in response. She bent down and gently peppered kisses along his jaw until she reached his ear. 

“Alpha,” She purred softly into his ear. “I love you, Alpha.”

Bucky closed his eyes, letting those honeyed words soaked deep into his heart and soul. He tightened his arm around her and placed a kiss to the side of her head.

“I love you too ‘Mega.”

Previous // Epilogue

#alpha!bucky x omega!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #cop!bucky #alpha!bucky #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o au #a/b/o verse #a/b/o #alternate universe

[oldguybones]

okok! cause ive been itching to read a fic where its OT7 richie-centered! since i dont see many of those! like maybe richie had a really bad day and is trying to smile it off to not bother the losers, but the losers comfort him than spend the evening making him feel good ya know? thank you in advance! :)

Alright anon, it’s a little late but here is some OT7 just taking good care of Richie, in every which way ;) nsfw ahead

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was an interesting concept, living with six other people, especially when you’re romantically involved with every last one. It meant that most of the time you weren’t alone; there was usually always at least one other people home at the same time as you. Richie appreciated this, except when he didn’t. Their relationship meant that he had to put on a mask successful enough to fool six people. Sometimes it was hard enough trying to fool one person. And after the shit packed day he just had, the last thing he wanted to do was exhaust himself trying to put on an act that everything was okay. Richie thought he did a good job regardless.

He did not.

The others immediately picked up on it and spread the knowledge between them like a silent language as they all arrived home one by one. First, it was Bev, who’d already been home when Richie came sulking in through the door. The second he saw her, his face lit up and he greeted her in that token Richie Tozier way. But it didn’t feel right; it was like a flip had switched and it was super unsettling. She knew, mere seconds after he walked through the door, that something was wrong. She tried to pry and get to the bottom of it, but Richie, executing one of his greatest strengths, put on the best act and pretended like everything was fine. 

He wore a tight smile on his lips. Bev could tell it was fake because Richie didn’t smile like that; when he was truly happy, he smiled with his eyes. 

Bev did the best she could and guided Richie’s head onto her lap when he settled onto the couch beside her. She ran her fingers through his soft red hair, taking extra care to comb through the tangled curls. 

Mike and Ben came home next, within a few moments of each other and, with a simple look from Bev, the two of them understood the situation just like that. Mike kneeled down beside the couch and gently took Richie’s glasses off, placing them on the coffee table. He brushed his thumb across Richie’s bushy eyebrow as he leaned down to press a kiss between them, where they were furrowed together. Ben pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch and draped it over Richie, making sure to tuck him in.

Richie’s blue eyes flutter open to look up at them, all giving him sympathetic looks. “Guys,” he tried to say, but it was a struggle to get out. “I’m fine.” 

Mike and Ben nodded easily enough and headed into the kitchen to make Richie’s favorite dinner (and dessert). 

Bill came home next, confused by the smell wafting out from the kitchen and the sight of Richie curled up on the couch, his head still in Bev’s lap. She gave him a knowing look, the same she’s given Mike and Ben. His approach to comforting Richie was a little different. He disappeared to one of the bedrooms for a few minutes and returned with a joint and lighter tucked between his fingers.

“Stan’s gonna kill you,” Richie commented as Bill tucked the joint between his lips and lit it for him. They had a rule in their house; no smoking inside, backyard only. 

“I’ll handle him,” Bill assured him, with a smile that was equal parts fond and teasing. He loved watching Richie smoke; he loved watching the way Richie’s body immediately relaxed as he inhaled deeply. He took the joint when Richie handed it back to him, knowing how much he hated smoking alone. 

Eddie walked through the door some time later. He noted the sight in the living room and quickly kicked off his shoes, rushing over to the couch and climbing onto of Richie without a second’s hesitation.

“Hi Eds,” Richie said with a grunt from his weight and then a fond chuckle. He leaned up to kiss Eddie’s forehead as the other man settled on top of him to cuddle, muttering a soft greeting enough. 

And sure enough when Stan came home next, even after smelling the stench of weed throughout the living room, he didn’t comment on it when he saw the state Richie was in, his clear distress and the obvious efforts of his other partners trying to make him feel better. He assumed no one knew what it was about; Richie typically didn’t like to bother them with his problems, even when they insisted, time and time again, that there was no such thing and that they never, ever saw him as a burden. 

The rest of the evening passed by similarly, the six of them trying to comfort a distraught Richie while not pressing and probing him for information. If he wanted to talk, he would. And if he didn’t, well then that was okay too. They would be there for him no matter. 

They ended up in bed earlier than usual that night. Between the weed and the good food, they were very relaxed, piling into bed and cuddling around Richie. They all cuddled together, but Richie was at the very center of it. They kept talking, about anything, everything, and nothing in particular. Significant tension had released from Richie’s body already, but there was still something lingering under the surface. The kind of something that would prevent him from getting a good night’s sleep.

So Stan was the first to jump into action. At first, it started with his arm, which was draped across Richie, moving so that his hand laid flat against Richie’s stomach. It was a weird movement, but no one really questioned it until it started to inch towards the waistband of Richie’s boxers. 

“Why Stanley, are you trying to seduce me?” Richie asked in a fake southern accent, turning his head to the side to capture Stan’s lips in a slow kiss. He let out a soft gasp against his lips as he felt Stan’s long fingers curling around his hardening length. 

Stan usually wasn’t one to put up with Richie’s jokes, but this time, he just smiled and nodded. “Yeah, exactly. I know the way to your heart,” he replied cheekily, winking up at him before maneuvering himself onto his knees. He smirked upon hearing the way Richie’s breath hitched. Tugging Richie’s boxers down and off, he lowered his head down to where he could wrap his lips around the head of Richie’s cock. 

The rest of them watched, frozen by a certain amount of shock at the sudden action. Bev was the next to speak up, “C’mon guys, let's make Richie feel good.” She then moved, on the opposite side of Richie, to lick and suck on his balls while Stan continued working the length. 

“Holy shit,” Richie gasped, his hands flying out to Stan’s head. He wasn’t able to say much more because Eddie was quickly moving in kiss him hungrily, rubbing a soothing hand over his chest. He lost himself in all the different sensations flooding his senses, the feeling of Stan and Bev sucking him off and the feeling of Eddie’s lips and tongue brushing against his own. And now there was a new one rushing over him as Bill nudged his legs apart and rubbed a slick finger over his hole. He broke the kiss with a gasp of Bill’s name.

“I’m gonna take care of you baby,” Bill promised him with a fond smile as he slid a finger slowly into him. Bev and Stan continued sucking him off while Bill stretched him open

“What about you guys?” Richie asked, turning his head to peek over at Mike and Ben, who were watching the scene unfold, obvious bulges in their boxers. 

“I’m not sure there’s much more we could do to you Rich,” Mike replied, chuckling, gesturing to all the activity surrounding him.

“Then give me a good show,” Richie requested hopefully, meeting their eyes with his own glazed over, blissed out ones.

“Guess we can’t argue with that huh?” Ben chuckled, leaning over to press a chaste kiss to Richie’s lips while Eddie sucked a dark mark on his neck. His eyes locked with Ben’s while Mike began to prep him, Bill now three fingers deep in him. It sent a shot of arousal straight to his gut to see the look of pleasure on Ben’s face. He groaned softly; sometimes it was hard to keep track of everything and lots of movements tended to happen at once. For instance, Stan pulled back and Bev straddled his lap, reaching between her legs to prop the head of his cock against her entrance. Right as she sank down onto him, Bill moved forward and began pushing his length into him.

“Oh my god,” he practically sobbed, hands flying out to hold onto whatever, or whoever, they found first. It found Stan, or maybe Stan find it, because Richie felt the gentle squeeze of his hand. His head lulled to the side and found himself enthralled by the scene playing outside beside him. Mike was fucking into bed, leisurely, unrushed thrusts. Stan kneeled beside his head and brushed the head of his cock against Ben’s lips, groaning softly as they parted to take him into his mouth. 

“You guys are incredible,” Richie moaned, squeezing Stan’s hand while his other hand came to rest on Bev’s thigh, her hips grinding slowly down against his own. His legs were bent at the knees while Bill fucked him, creating the deepest angle for both Bill inside of him and him inside of Bev. Richie could feel his head swimming with all the pleasure he was experiencing. 

“Eds,” Richie gasped softly, waiting until he had Eddie’s full attention before choking out his next request, “Sit on my face.”

All around him, there was a course of moans and groans of approval, continuing as Eddie gripped the headboard and eagerly situated himself over Richie’s face.

“He’s getting really into it,” Bill commented with a groan as he continued to pound into him. 

“Can you blame him?” Mike chimed in and not a single one of them could, in fact, blame him. Having six other people doting on you and bending to your every will and desire was a pretty powerfully intoxicating thing. 

“You know how he is,” Eddie gasped out suddenly, tightly holding onto the headboard as Richie’s tongue eagerly began lapping over his hole. He moaned in response, slowly easing the rest of his weight down until he was seated fully on Richie’s face. 

“Wants everyone to feel as good as he does,” Bev cooed fondly, stroking her thumb across one of his nipples. The moan it elicits was muffled from beneath Eddie, who also had his hand wrapped around his length and was jerking himself off while Richie eagerly ate him out. Because of this, Eddie was the first of them to come and by the time he moved off of Richie, his own release was fast approaching. Eddie continued to kiss his neck, sucking more dark marks against the pale skin. 

“Oh fuck,” Richie whimpered, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

It was impossible to say what the final tipping point was, the sexy scene beside him, the way Bev’s heat clenched around him or the way Bill pounded against his prostate. But soon enough, his release was crashing down on him with a long, drawn out moan. Everyone followed soon after, and they all settled back into bed, still cuddled up around Richie. 

“How do you feel?” Eddie asked him, letting his fingernails trail lightly up and down his chest as he laid pressed up against his side.

“Better,” Richie answered, finally wearing the token Richie Tozier smile. All six occupants of the bed melted at the sight. There was a course of soft “I love you”’s spoken among them and a short while later, they all fell asleep, happy and satisfied. Sometimes living with six different people was tricky, but when it counted, it was the most amazing thing in the world, to walk into a home and know that six different people would go to the ends of the world just to see you smile. 

#OT7 #My Work #Prompt Filled #Did I edit this? Nope #Anonymous

[kittysukagasterfics]

Devils In Disguise

Note: I know you just said Yandere!Sam but, I just couldn’t resist adding their yandere skeleton boyfriend. Also, this isn’t canon to the regular storyline. Anyway, onto the fic!

Handplates belongs to: @zarla-s

Requested by: @randomstuff7739

Summary: What’s equally as good as a yandere skeleton? A yandere cinnamon roll! What’s a typical day for these two yandere lovers like?

    Sam knew their relationship was based on nothing more than obsession and an empty void that needed to be filled. They could honestly care less though. The Human was more than happy to be submissive to their boyfriend’s demands, no matter how ridiculous the request may be.

     For example, Sam had been playing on their phone, minding their own business, when Gaster suddenly came up to them. He seemed calm but his voice was practically laced with anger as he demanded that Sam hand over their phone so he could, ‘make sure they weren’t talking to anyone else’. That demand alone had been ridiculous since they had no reason to have a contact other than his. However, Sam just handed over their device, no questions asked.

     But Sam wasn’t exactly innocent themselves. Everyday when the scientist came home from work, they would be impatiently waiting there, pouting about how he was late for their daily cuddle session. After Gaster explained that Alphys wanted to hang out after work, the Human had suggested that next time he should just ignore his co-worker when this happened. The skeleton actually chuckled when they told him this and  started to tease them about being so jealous about something like that. He did eventually assure them that he already knew about Alphys’ feelings for him but he would never feel the same way about her. Hearing the skeleton say that managed to calm the Human down.

     To Sam, that was all they needed in life now. Nothing else mattered. Nobody except their new family mattered. Of course, just because the two lovers thought it was normal, didn’t mean that others thought it was too. The brothers were always concerned about their dad and parental unit’s behavior and even Toby could that the relationship was a bit unhinged. But whenever they tried to question any of the two, the little skeletons would either get dismissed or given some generic excuse.

    “um, parental unit? are you and dad ok? you two are acting weird...”

    “*You tell him that you and Gaster are perfectly fine.~ You also say that it not always nice to be nosy about other peoples’ business.~”

     That response from Sam was bad enough, but his brother had been basically scolded when he asked Gaster about it.

    “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BOSS PARENTAL UNIT AROUND? ARE THEY IN TROUBLE?”

“No, Sam would never cause me any trouble.~ Also, never ask me nonsense like that again.~ It’s rude.~”

     After multiple conversations like that, the brothers just gave up trying to make sense of it. They still found it weird and unusual but were careful not to say that in front of the two adults. Toby on the other hand, was not giving up so easily. The little pup soon made it his personal mission to get Sam away from the skeleton for as long as possible, thinking that maybe it would snap the albino out of whatever was wrong with them.

     That turned out to be an extremely bad idea as Sam was determined to never be more than one second away from their lover. They would scold Toby once they figured out what he was trying to do and shoo him away. Any attempts to gain their attention again would result in Gaster literally throwing him out of the room they were currently in and slamming the door. The poor dog had no choice but to walk away, whimpering with his tail between his legs. Neither of the two lovers ever seemed to care though.

     To them, a day was only perfect when they could be alone, cuddling tightly against one another on Gaster’s office couch. Usually they would talk about how much they loved each other and how far they would go to prove it. To add to the creepiness in the two’s conversations, Gaster had once joked to Sam by suggesting that he take them into the Underground and let the Human charm their way to every monsters’ heart, gaining their trust and friendship only to be tricked into being alone with the Human and having the scientist kill said monster without hesitation. Sam thought he was being serious though and tried to convince him to go through with the plan. The skeleton was quick to shoot down the idea though.

    “Sam, you know that would raise too much suspicion.~ Besides, with your low HP, you could easily be killed.~ Very weak.~”

    “*You huff and tell Gaster that you’re not weak.~” ‘*He shushes you by placing a bony finger against your mouth...~’

    “Now let’s not argue and get so angry, Sam.~ I managed to get the day off today so we can both just rela-”

     Before Gaster could finish his sentence, his phone that was sitting on his desk began ringing. Sam and Gaster exchanged annoyed looks as the scientist untangled himself from the small human and walked over to answer it. Sam could hear him talking, probably to Alphys. They could tell that he was trying to keep as calm as possible and not get angry with his co-worker. From what they could gather from the conversation, the lizard monster wanted the skeleton to come in and help her with an invention. The Human could feel their blood practically boil at this. After a few more minutes of talking, Gaster hung up and with an agitated sigh, picked up his bag and walked over to the door.

    “Alphys needs me to help immediately and she wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.~”

    “*You tell him that Alphys is starting to get on your nerves.~” ‘*Gaster chuckles and plants a kiss on your forehead.’

    “I know, Sam, but don’t worry.~ I’ll be sure to bring you back a present for being good, alright?~”

     The Human perked up when they heard this. Gaster spoiling them with little gifts and sweets was nothing new, but the way he talked about the present made it sound really special. Sam started asking about what the present was but the scientist was very vague in his answer and left a frustrated Sam behind in the Lab. He knew that he would soon get many phone calls and text messages from his lover throughout his workday, but Gaster didn’t mind. That just meant that Sam was concerned about him. Like they were suppose to be.

(Later that day)

     Sam sniffed as they wiped away the tears from their eyes. Gaster had been gone for at least three hours now and they were starting to worry. It was already bad enough that they had to get up from their sobbing session on the office’s couch to make lunch for everyone, but now there was the possibility that Alphys had taken their boyfriend away from them. Their Senpai, cruelly ripped away from them, and any attempts to desperately text the skeleton for answers just lead to him not responding. There was no point in living if that was the case. If Gaster couldn’t love them, no one could.

    ‘*You start to get up from the couch when the door suddenly swings open.~’

     When the Human looked up, they let out a gasp. Gaster was standing there, deranged look on his face and holding a medium-sized gift box. Sam immediately jumped up and ran over to him, wrapping their arms tightly around his waist. The skeleton nearly fell over from the force of the hug but soon started chuckling as he ruffled the Human’s snow-white hair. Picking them up with his magic, Gaster walked over to the couch and sat down before placing his lover in his lap and handed them the gift.

    “I hope you enjoy your present, my love.~ It took a while to get it, lots of struggling and a lot of hassle.~”

     Sam excitedly took the present, carefully unwrapping it. It was a gift from their beloved, so extra caution was always needed. As soon as they got the box opened, the Human looked inside, only to see nothing but a large pile of a white and powdery substance. Sam gave Gaster a very confused look, but the scientist just kept the smile on his face, as if waiting for realization to hit.

     It only took a couple of minutes for Sam to realize what the pile was. Tears of joy began to fall down their cheeks as they hugged and kissed him. They thanked Gaster what felt like millions of time. When Sam told him that he didn’t have to do this for them, Gaster laughed and pulled his small lover into a deep kiss. After breaking away, he continue to keep a tight hold on Sam, smiling.

    “Anything for you, Sam.~ You know I would do anything for you.~”

    “*You tell him that you know, and you love it.~”

Note: Wonder what that white stuff is. I certainly don’t know. Anyway, thank you to @randomstuff7739 for the prompt and sorry if this wasn’t exactly what you were asking for. But I hope you all enjoyed reading! I love all of you! Requests are always welcomed! Stay tuned for more.

#undertale #handplates #gaster #the human #sam (the human) #sans #papyrus #toby #request #my fic #ukagaster

[vivien-dot-exe]

Ask meme - every todoroki :eyes:

lmao BET

(this is super big huge I’m so sorry askdfjsh)

Shouto

NOTP

I don’t?? really think I have one. I’m pretty alright w/ all shouto ships tbh.

BROTP

todomomo. I get the ships but I kinda see em as them Good Supportive Friends that are just close enough that everyone Thinks They’re Dating n cannot believe they’re not but like. they never would. (am I projecting my best friendship onto shouto?? Maybe. fuck off.)

OTP

rn?? enjishouto lmao. I love love enjishouto man,, favorite child lovin,,,,

second choice

I ~guessss~ todobaku?? but tbh I’m not all that into most shouto ships. like we neutral most days. we just stay lovin bakugou + denying they’re friends???? so cute man,,

tied though is reishouto bc mommy kink. I won’t sit here and lie to you I just love gentle mommy kink sm

fluffy pairing

cliche fan fave - tododeku. we love a pair of supportive boyfs. I still do like seeing some tododeku art sometimes cause it makes our heart warm

angsty pairing

enjishouto again - I play things for angst so fuckin much dude,, if I can’t play my otp for angst then it probably isn’t gonna stick.

poly ship

can I say like. natsu/fuyu/enji/shouto. cause siblings that thirst over their hot dad together stay together

however hawks/enji/shouto is an incredibly tasty rarepair. there’s only one fic for it on ao3 but it’s So dang good,, 

weirdest pairing

I guess still enjishouto!! I have a very small amount of ships for the boy, man,,

Fuyumi

NOTP

n/a once again. every fuyumi ship I’ve seen to date or conjure up from crack shipping is cute bc she’s cute. I love seeing her in general.

BROTP

lowkey?? fuyuhawks. I can see them being excellent friends. I know romance takes are also good but. consider this: them chillin and acting goofy.

OTP

fuyunatsu. no question. it was my v first fuyumi ship and I will go down with it. (more explanation below)

second choice

fuyumi/miruko is really good!! maybe that’s just me being all ‘lesbians good’ @ the few fics n art pieces I’ve seen but Still.

fluffy pairing

reiyumi. we Love a girl n her mom huggin tight n kissing softly.

angsty pairing

fuyuenji. I’ve seen such good angst w/ these two man,, makes my heart heart Good ya feel?? them sad n guilty daddy’s girl feels Get Me

poly ship

sibling thorst: the ship (fuyu/natsu/enji/shouto)

weirdest pairing

if I was to make up a weird pairing,,,, bakuyumi. they interact Once but I like ships that are basically ‘we cook and it’s romantic’ (read: natsuki from ddlc anyone?). it’s a lil crack shippy and I’ve never ever seen any material for it, but wouldn’t it be cute to have bakugou cook w/ a cute older woman n have a cute romantic time while he’s all tsundere?? sighs wistfully,,

Natsuo

NOTP

hmm,, I’m honestly thinking I should take this option out. I really do think it cute to think the whole ass todofam w/ Anybody you know??

BROTP

natsushouto. like wow great job viv takin it Literally but as we don’t know much about natsu’s college life, I can’t exactly elect a best friend or nothin, and I Really love the concept of natsu and shouto acting like regular sibs. fighting n competing but hyping each other up, ya know?? sighs wistfully,, I actually really love brotherly dynamics a lot. like shipping em is usually my first thought but I also just???? like seeing em play around n be normal sometimes lmao. is that weird?? that it makes me happy?? idk.

OTP

fuyunatsu!! I love the concept of them constantly being there for each other, plus childish curiosity?? if you got sibs you know what that shit’s like. “you wanna try kissing??”

like listen not to be gross about it either but like. Puberty w/ that like entirety of the house to themselves. you can not tell me horny things never happened.

second choice

enjinatsu has Mad potential. I don’t get to see a lot of content for them but they make my heart happy. love the idea of both them being sweet to each other slowly in a path to forgiveness dotted with confessions and soft embraces,,,, or of course guilty dad thirst. both are Tasty

fluffy pairing

fuyunatsu is Cute. listen I want em to cuddle and support each other though they’re so different. like foils, ya know?? I am very weak for natsu having a weakness for fuyumi’s gentleness (though that could be said for the whole todofam. stan fuyumi)

angsty pairing

hmm,, I guess that’d be enjinatsu?? path to forgiveness enjinatsuo I can see being v feelsy and Tasty.

poly ship

sibling thorst Again.

weirdest pairing

man I don’t think any of these could be counted as Not weird. enjinatsu maybe?? as their dynamic is rather complicated n versatile + parent/child. I think the Least weird ship I’ve ever considered w/ him though would be natsuhawks, but I’ve not seen a lot of material for them nor do I have any ideas for dynamics. they just look nice together.

Touya (dabi)

NOTP

okay I’ll be real w/ you I lied I do have One notp and it’s dabihawks (hotwings). it’s. it’s okay, I’ll admit, but it kinda squicks me out in canon verses. like, reverse aus, genderswap aus, most aus really that slightly shift the dynamic, I’m good w/ dabihawks, but Not In Canon or any approximations of it.

(big rant on why, feel free to skip)

I guess antis just kinda fucked it up for me?? I was kinda neutral when it first was proposed, ya know like ‘oh that’s cute!! not for me but more power to ya!!’ but then dabihawks shippers started getting in hawksdeavor shippers’ faces n giving the usual arguments against age gap ships (as if a villain/hero ship was so uwu pure n unproblematic), and then there came the ‘hawks will betray the heroes and become a villain for dabi’ theories from them and it just. that was 2018 and it Still makes me uncomfortable to think about. 

I very much enjoyed hawks’ double agent thing!! but I knew an infiltration mission would end with betrayal from the beginning and that’s what I liked about it. him doing the absolute Most for the heroes even if it feels scummy to do so. I was Devastated for a moment when I saw hawks’ first meetup w/ dabi and it looked like he might be spying for them, but then we were quickly assured that it was a ploy and I was like Oh My God Thank God I Near Had A Heart Attack. but other people, the loudest group being dabihawks shippers, were dissatisfied with this and wanted canon to take a different direction and I Dunno Man, I just had very strong emotions about that and still do. 

I love hero hawks in all his double agent endeavor fanboy glory and people wanting to take it a different direction in canon felt like a blatant kind of???? idk defacing of character almost, even though that’s a mega mega mega dramatic way to put it loL don’t ask me why I got such strong feelins about it I couldn’t explain it if I wanted. I’d love to go back to being chill about it I really really would.

BROTP

idk, I think I might not???? have one for him. he seems kinda all or nothing to me, very intense w/ his emotions. if I was to Name one off the top of my head, maybe maybe togadabi, but even then I’m kinda hm on it.

OTP

first and favorite dabi ship is 1000% shigadabi. not even in most canon settings; I just like them chilling and being lovey (and going on large scale crime dates).

second choice

probably shoutodabi?? not Big on most dabi ships but love that older bro angst.

fluffy pairing

shigadabi bby!! if I wanna imagine dabi soft ever then shigadabi is a Lovely escape, canon absolutely notwithstanding.

natsutouya is also a good one to imagine, what w/ the image of them cuddling making my heart Warm

angsty pairing

shoutodabi. I saw this one reunion fic of them and I had So Many Emotions oh my god.

dabihaul is also a good candidate, though it’s less Angst more hurt little comfort. (not to mention I don’t ship it much myself lol a friend sold me on their interp) it’s not very emotional as I like my angst, more just got them whump aesthetics.

poly ship

good question. I’ve highkey not thought about it smH - maybe if I just,,,, *takes shoutodabi n shigadabi n smooshes them together*

idek how that’d work as a dynamic dude I Don’t KnoW LMAO

weirdest pairing

I guess enjidabi?? I think about it from time to time but I dunno how the dynamic would work but. very angsty whatever it is. lots of apology sexy times in my mind’s eye.

Rei

NOTP

n/a - rei is definitely one I will take any ship for.

BROTP

enjirei - I’m doing this out of order so I wrote the explanation on enji’s lmaO see below for details

OTP

oh man otp???? good question,, I’m a v big fan of reishouto tho. gentle mom lovin,,

second choice

rei/inko is also a good one!! something I still think is very cute from my early days in the fandom. just a couple of moms supporting each other and going on cute park dates,,

fluffy pairing

rei/inko is def the fluffiest. however, it can be argued that rei/anybody has good fluff material. rei is so,,,, ethereal lookin???? she looks like a flower or a ghost,, like breeze rustling sheer curtains in an empty sun lit room. gentle on the eyes but hella poignant. I can imagine her bein soft w/ everyone n everyone.

angsty pairing

reitouya. For Sure. rei taking care of her lost eldest who’s finally come home, ya know???? Sobs,,,,,,,, I don’t see shippy content of them ever but reunion fics/art Get Me

poly ship

this one might be a little weird, but inko/rei/mitsuki. I’ve only seen material for it Once but in my head it’s taking the cute mom ships of inko/rei and inko/mitsuki to make the Ultimate Supportive Mom Ship. and maybe masaru is there too supporting this bc I think he’s really good tbh I don’t want him sad or lonely.

weirdest pairing

uhhhhhh,,, idk man probably polyship is the only “Weird”/super rare one. mitsuki ain’t exactly gentle mom:tm: after all, but I think her spice goes well w/ it all, ya know?? inko n rei being gentle and mitsuki being the hype who arranges more fun dates n such for them to all take a cuddle pile nap afterwards,, and you know she’s the hype woman for the trio. 

Enji

NOTP

never met an enji ship I didn’t like tbh. they’re all good and I will fight on that.

BROTP

highkey?? enjirei. I ship em romantically sometimes, but I really like the idea of them divorced and getting other lovers but supporting each other fullheartedly. love that solidarity. like shit I could see them still living together n such but they just. drop the husband/wife shtick and support each other like friends.

OTP

enjishouto!! y’all been knew.

second choice

hawksdeavor is a longstanding fave. we love that fanboy/idol dynamic sm,,

fluffy pairing

oh jeez fluffy,, maybe enji/burnin?? I can see her being very energetic n supportive and being rewarded w/ soft forehead kisses. soft boss crush even if it’s one sided.

angsty pairing

both enjishouto and hawksdeavor provide Wonderful angst. the flavor is Immaculate y’all should try it.

poly ship

enji/the rest of the todofam/hawks/happiness. pls lma o

I am very much an enjibowl enthusiast, can y’all tell?? I just want him Smothered in love sometimes.

weirdest pairing

hmm,, enji/tsukauchi. I saw a doujin for it once and it was Lovely. an absolute crackship, but I love the hero/detective dynamic of toshinori/tsukauchi, but toshinori just doesn’t give it enough Spice in most interps I see. now enji being tsun n aggressive + level headed detective tsukauchi,, that was a tasty doujin for sure.

#warning w/ new tumblr: clicking the read more will make it unfold On Your Dash #open the permalink in a new tab to read it w/o clogging shit up on your dash

[evilrubberducke]

Sweeter than Candy

I got the idea of Izuku and Mina cuddling while watching a movie marathon, and thus this fic was born. Expect plenty of tooth aching fluff, as the name would imply. Hope you enjoy!

Summary:  Mina worked hard in the lead-up to midterm exams. Now, with the exams concluded, it's time to celebrate, and what better way to do that than with an all day movie marathon with her boyfriend?

Read it on AO3!

“This seems like overkill” Izuku said as he watched Mina add another handful of snacks to the already enormous pile.

In truth, it probably was too much. Izuku stuck to his diet pretty religiously, and she wouldn’t be able to eat all of these on her own. That wasn’t the point though. Today was about indulgence, and she was going to splurge

“Nah.” Mina responded. “Overkill would be having to spend every waking minute not already devoted to hero training to studying math. Can you imagine? That would just be the worst.” As she spoke, her voice became more and more deadpan.

Izuku looked concerned by her tone of voice and stepped over to give her a comforting hug. It was unnecessary, but Mina enjoyed it nonetheless. She hadn’t done any testing, but she would be willing to bet good money that Izuku gave the best hugs in the class. He had a way of completely wrapping you in his warm arms that was just amazing.

“It was worth it though, right?” Izuku said softly into her ear.

“Yeah...” It had been, but that didn’t mean Mina wasn’t allowed to be salty about it.

Exam season was always a trying time at any school, but that went double for UA. As future heroes they were expected to maintain satisfactory grades while keeping up with their regular training, and preparing for whatever ridiculous practical exam their teachers had managed to concoct.

In addition to all that, Mina had had a personal goal. She was tired of being one of the only failing students in her class. Even Mineta was pulling better grades than her for god's sake!

So, she had given up a huge chunk of her personal time to prepare. She’d missed the season finale of her favorite reality show, she hadn’t gone to an arcade in weeks, and she had even sworn off pranks in the lead up to the exams.

She’d spent hours under Yaomomo’s careful tutelage, and even more time studying with Izuku after school every day as she tried to cram increasingly arcane formulas and facts into her poor brain. It had been a slow, horrifically boring process, but she had put her all into it. She’d even tried sleeping with her textbook under her pillow, in the hope that she would somehow absorb some knowledge by osmosis, a subject she now vaguely understood thanks to her wonderfully patient tutors.

When the exam had finally rolled around, Mina had felt more nervous about it than she had ever felt for a test before. Her mind had been horrifyingly blank, like all the knowledge she’d scraped together had fled in a fit of pique.

Then, almost miraculously, she’d known the answer to the first question. And the one after that as well. As she’d gotten further in, she'd started to feel more and more confident. Sure, she wasn’t getting every question, but most of the ones she didn’t know could be narrowed down to just two possible answers. It had felt good, like she was catching up to everyone else, instead of being left behind like always.

When Aizawa finally called time she had collapsed, happy but totally drained.

She had thought that the lead up to the exam would be the worst, but the aftermath was much more intense. Instead of being able to completely relax once she was done, like she had previously, Mina was left with a vague sense of anxiety about her performance that left her repeating the questions she already knew she had gotten wrong over and over in her head, trying to puzzle them out and failing miserably.

<I wonder if this is what Izuku feels like all the time> She had thought to herself  <If so, I owe him a big apology for every time I joked about how anxious he was.>

Aizawa, at least, was prompt with his grading. They had their tests graded on their desks by the end of the day.

Mina had slowly flipped her paper over, wanting to put off seeing the grade for as long as possible. Then shrieked with delight when she saw the big B- in the corner. Sure, it was far from the highest grade in the class, or even the highest grade she had gotten in her life, but it was the highest grade she had gotten since coming to UA, and that was an accomplishment in its own right.

And an achievement like that deserved a celebration!

Thus, she had assembled a small mountain of snacks ranging from chips to chocolate to sodas of several varieties. She had also put together a leaning tower of movies from all sorts of different genres. Feel good romance movies made up a significant percentage of the stack. They would be great for setting a lovely mood for her and Izuku. And a nice palate cleanser after the classic horror triple feature she had planned midway through the day.

Lastly, she had borrowed every spare pillow that she could find in the dorms and arranged them into a fortress for her and Izuku to snuggle in while they binged.

In short, Maestro Mina had concocted the perfect day for destressing, and she was going to milk it for all it was worth.

She might have overestimated the amount of snacks they would need, but she had definitely underestimated the amount of tissues Izuku would go through. He was midway through the first box before the first movie had even ended.

“Sorry” He sniffled, dabbing at his eyes once more. “It’s just ...they were so in love, and then ...it was just so sad!” He broke into a fresh round of sobs at the thought.

They had started off the night with a classic animated movie about a man who flew his house away on an adventure with an astounding number of balloons. Mina was fairly certain that such a feat was impossible unless he was distantly related to Uraraka, but she wasn’t going to criticise since it made for a pretty awesome visual.

She wrapped her arms around Izuku, pulling him into a comforting hug as she patted his head. It was sweet that he was such a softie, and that he felt comfortable enough around her that he didn't feel the need to hide it. It made her feel special.

Although, they were definitely going to need more tissues if things went according to plan. This wasn’t even close to the biggest tearjerker she had planned for their marathon.

Mina could feel Izuku nodding off beside her, head dipping slightly as he struggled against the sandman. She didn’t blame him. Lunch had been both tasty and super filling, which meant it was threatening to drag her off to dreamland as well. As pleasant as it would be to take a nap right then and there in Izuku’s arms, Mina had other plans.

Days like this didn’t come often, and that meant she had to enjoy every second of it.

Instead, she stood up and stretched. Izuku shook a bit of the drowsiness from his face and looked at her curiously. She merely smiled innocently at him as she made her way to the TV.

Izuku was a little bit too trusting sometimes. He wanted to think the best of people, and that let them take advantage of him from time to time. Mina didn’t abuse that trust, that would be immoral, but she did occasionally take advantage of it to make Izuku’s life just a little more interesting.

Her plan for today involved introducing him to a classic in B movie horror that was sure to get his blood pumping and wake him right up. It was time for the horror block to begin!

Mina silently cackled to herself as she slid the movie in.

Izuku obviously knew that something was up with her. After nearly a year together, they were both getting better at reading the other’s body language, and he had gotten adept at recognizing her ‘I’m having fun pranking someone’ smile as a survival mechanism.

It took him right up until the title ‘Night of Screams 2: The Revenge of Screamtopia’ to realize what she was planning, and by that point, it was far too late.

Quick as a whip, she snaked her legs through his, tangling them together and preventing him from getting up unless she let him.

“Minaaaaaa!” He cried as he clawed at the floor. She did notice, however, that despite being much stronger than her, he made no real attempt to get free.

“Shush you. I told you the quadratic formula was terrifying, and you made me memorize it anyway. Consider this my vengeance!” She put on her best evil villainess face as she spoke. The effect was ruined by the smile she couldn’t keep off her lips, but she felt it was important to make the effort all the same.

He moaned inarticulately in response as the opening credits began to play.

Mina hummed in response, and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend once again. “Tell you what, if you get scared, you can snuggle up to me and I’ll make it all better, ok?”

It took a moment, but she finally heard a muffled “Kay” from below her.

She smiled in triumph. It had taken a lot of effort to get here, but it really was good to be the Queen.

“You doing ok back there Izuku?” Mina asked.

No response came, though Izuku clutched more tightly to her back as a shriek rang out from the TV. Another innocent down as the monster continued it’s furious rampage. It was over the top, and for a horror buff like Mina, it was nothing she hadn’t seen a thousand times before.

Izuku, however, was having a much tougher time of it. It was kind of funny. They had faced terrifying villains like Shiguraki and his Nomu, and Izuku had barely flinched. She’d even heard from Uraraka that he’d stayed calm when Shigaraki had him by the neck during the incident at the Kiyashi mall incident, trying to prevent anyone from getting hurt in the crossfire. And now, here he was cowering from some cheap blood and jump scares.

As he flinched again, Mina relented. She had planned a trio of films for the day, and while she was enjoying having Izuku clinging to her, it was obvious Izuku wasn’t having nearly as good of a time as she was.

A comedy then. One that would get him flashing that smile she loved so much once again.

Just ...in a minute or two. She really loved the part coming up, and after all, it wasn’t like Izuku would keel over from just a little more gore, would he…?

“Mina, I’m not sure how good an idea this is” Izuku said hesitantly. “There’s a real choking hazard.”

“Pfffft! My big brother and I used to do this with jawbreakers all the time, and we’re both fine! Now, hit me with your best shot!” Mina called, tilting her head back once more.

She was sitting at the foot of her bed, while Izuku was at the top, holding a bag of candy in one hand and wearing a worried expression.

Finally, at her continued insistence that she would be fine, he tossed one of the candies lightly toward her. It wasn’t a great throw, and Mina had to lunge to the side, but she managed to catch the candy in her mouth. She swallowed it quickly, then grinned at Izuku in triumph.

He smiled back at her, the look of nervousness fading somewhat in the face of her victory.

“Toldja I could do it!” She proclaimed. “I’m the candy catch master! It was part of how I trained my reflexes for UA. Now why don’t you give me a real challenge?” She winked as she said it. Technically, the line about it being reflex training was BS, but it sounded almost reasonable enough to be true, so Mina stuck with it.

Shaking his head, Izuku readied another candy to throw. They were a brand of chocolate coated berries that Mina found absolutely delicious. In fact, she was having such a hard time not scarfing the whole bag that she had proposed the game as a way to slow down her consumption rate.

Izuku’s next throw went wide again, but this time Mina wasn’t able to catch it with her lips. Instead it came plummeting directly into her right eye.

She flinched, the offending candy bouncing to the floor as she reached up to rub at her eye, trying to work the irritation out manually.

“Are you okay?” Izuku said, rushing to her side. “I didn’t mean to hurt you!” he said, taking her head gently in his hands and peering into her eye, checking for damage.

“I’m fine Midori.” She said, chuckling slightly at his response despite the minor pain she was feeling. At this point, she was more than used to enduring small pains thanks to all their hero training. There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t pick up some minor scrape or cut. Sure, the accidental eye attack had stung, but the irritation was already fading.

Izuku seemed satisfied that he hadn’t accidentally put her eye out. He sighed in relief, but he kept his hands on the sides of her head, and his eyes stayed locked on hers.

“Midori?” She asked, as the moment of silence dragged on. “You okay in there?”

He smiled softly at that, and let go of her head, turning his face slightly away from hers as he did so. “Sorry. I just…” He turned his face back to hers, and she could see that his cheeks were dusted with red. “I always forget how pretty your eyes are, so when I see them up close like that, I get distracted.” He idly poked the tips of his index fingers together as he spoke.

Now it was Mina’s turn to blush, a brilliant lilac filling her cheeks as her heart started to beat faster. <Being that cute has to be illegal>

She pulled Izuku into a tight hug and planted a firm kiss on his cheek, which caused him to light up like a christmas tree, just like he did every time she kissed him. It was another one of his cute habits that she had picked up on rather quickly after they had started dating. He reacted to every bit of affection like it was the first time he had received it.

It did make her a bit sad, thinking about how lonely he must have been growing up, if that was the way he reacted. He’d told her a bit about his childhood, how he hadn’t had any friends since his Quirk had come in so late and they had thought he was Quirkless.

Instead of letting the sadness overwhelm her, Mina took the opposite approach. She hugged Izuku even tighter, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his eyes, and his ears until he was giggling at her to stop. She’d make up for the lack of affection, or her name wasn’t Mina Ashido, girlfriend extraordinaire.

Izuku looked down at Mina’s gently snoring form. She had passed out a few minutes ago, exhaustion finally overtaking the ludicrous amount of sugar and caffeine she had been inhaling all day.

When Mina Ashido partied, she didn’t do it half way.

Smiling, he pulled the blankets up over her shoulders, tucking her comfortably into bed. The pair had changed into pajamas as the day had worn into evening, so there was no need to worry about mussing her clothes.

She sighed contentedly in her sleep, shifting slightly to get into a more comfortable position.

As he leaned down to plant a good night kiss on her forehead, he could hear her mutter something in her sleep.

“Wanna go in the haunted house next…” She whined softly.

He could only chuckle at that. One of their first dates, before they had officially become boyfriend and girlfriend, had been to Universal Studios Japan. They had been more than a little nervous going in, given their previous experience at  a similarly named location.

However, it had turned out excellently. They had both had tons of fun, going on all kinds of rides until they had felt slightly nauseous, checking out the scenery, and buying overpriced gag gifts for their friends and classmates. It had even ended with them sharing their first properly romantic hug, just before they returned to the dorms.

Knowing that she was dreaming about being on a date with him, despite spending nearly the entire day with him made his chest feel warm and full.

He leaned in the rest of the way, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.

She sighed in contentment and snuggled deeper into her pillows.

<How did I get so lucky?> He thought to himself as he flicked off the lights.

Just before the door clicked shut behind him, he whispered something that even Jirou would have had trouble hearing from across the room.

“Good night Mina. I love you with all my heart…”

With that, he padded off to his own room, excited to spend the rest of the day with Mina, in the world of his dreams.

Also available on AO3!

#izumina #mha #mha fanfiction #fluff #slice of life #mina ashido #midoriya izuku #movie night #two dorks in love #bnha #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #fanfiction #dekumina #minadeku

[queerhargreeves]

hi again :)) Trans!diego is near and dear to my heart and this is me projecting/venting my dysphoria onto my angel boys and nb love. this could be really triggering so pls read w caution ! yet another fic written too late at night on little sleep

———————————————————————————

Diego woke up with a jolt as he frantically eyed his room. He looked over at the clock which read “2:26 AM”. He sighed, running a hand down his face. Waking up during the wee hours of 2 - 4 AM had become an unfortunate common occurrence lately. After successfully avoiding the end of the world it was sort of difficult to think about life clearly again. He’d become a bit lost on what he wanted to do. He knew he couldn’t play pretend cop forever just like he knew the Umbrella Academy couldn’t last forever. Even if they had come together to save the lives of billions.

However it took about two more seconds before he registered the dampness beneath him. He froze, the smell of dead skunk quickly slapping him in the face.

Silently, Diego stood up. The sticky/damp feeling growing to be too uncomfortable. He turned on a lamp to assess the damage. His baby blue sheets looked like a murder scene.

When he had his first period, Grace was the person who helped him. Diego has had to walk into the kitchen with stained sheets in hand and eyes red on more than one occasion. She would understand immediately every single time. She’d put a hand on his cheek and wipe any tears that remained.

“Accidents happen Diego - even to big, strong men like yourself. I’ll go ahead and put these in the wash. Go have a seat and I’ll make you some tea.” She’d kiss his forehead and would go off with her duties. Diego always would go back to bed feeling more content than he did when he awoke.

Diego let out a whimper and immediately wrapped his hands around his stomach. Diego’s cycles were always the worst out of the Hargreeves siblings. He had hoped that going on testosterone would stop his mensuration but alas he wasn’t so lucky. Of course he wasn’t. Testosterone did however make his periods far and few between. He had gone a year and a half without a period just to have a 2 month long cycle. The unknown was the worst part. When he had his unexpected periods he suffered all of the symptoms and then some.

He quickly disposed of his underwear and sweat pants and threw them in a bag along with his sheets to inspect the damage. He came to the conclusion that shark week took victim on yet another pair of perfectly good underwear, pj’s, and sheets.

He set the bag aside and walked over to his dresser. He got ahold of another pair of sweatpants and underwear and shuffled into the bathroom, uncomfortable in his now complete nudity. Once inside he took a look at himself in the mirror. His face was rugged, jaw sharp. He had facial hair, thick brows, and two scars underneath his chest. His flat chest. He looks like the epitome of masculinity. Diego should see a man looking back at him. But all he sees is the little girl his father oh so wanted him to be. He saw the little kid with bangs and long hair in that stupid uniform. He saw that little kid that hated being called “she”. His vision started to blur and he blinked violently. He let the tears stream down his face as he choked back a sob. He couldn’t do this now.

Diego shook his head and slapped his cheeks, focusing back to the task at hand. He quickly opened the sink drawer and found the black box hidden in the very back. Opening it he grabbed a pad and placed the box back where it belonged.

For Christmas one year Klaus had bought Diego special briefs that were made for pads. His sibling learned that tampons made him even more dysphoric - the thought of anything being “inside” of him was too much to handle. They were 17 and Klaus had helped him get through a particularly bad episode. He was always thankful for him for that even when Klaus insisted on calling them his “best sibling ever rescue briefs”.

Diego placed the pad in his underwear and slipped the pair on, sweatpants quickly after. He washed his hands and made his way out of the bathroom, avoiding the mirror. His reflection was a little too much to handle right now.

Without the damp clothes on he already felt a bit better. Diego knew he probably wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon; he never did when he had these accidents. Diego grabbed the bag and walked out of his room and made his way towards the kitchen as quietly as he could.

As walked down the stairs he saw that the kitchen light was still on.

“Huh.” Diego thought to himself. His mom was already asleep as is everyone else in the house. Or so he assumed.

He turned the corner and into the kitchen to find Klaus in nothing but tiny silk shorts that probably belonged to Allison. They had a cup of tea in their hands and they were chatting softly to the seat next to them. They seemed to be in a pretty deep conversation seeing as they didn’t notice Diego.

Finally Klaus made a little “wha” sound and whipped their head around.

“Oh! Guten morgen brother!” Klaus chimed with a grin on their face.

“What brings you down here?”

Diego swallowed, his voice and brain trying to process what he wants to say.

“I-I uh,” Diego shifted his gaze, not wanting to make eye contact. Even after all these years, after all that Klaus had seen, he still felt ashamed when he was vulnerable.

“Shark week.” Diego signed, sliding his pointer finger straight across his palm. He didn’t quite trust his words yet.

Klaus’ smile quickly turned into a look sympathy, their muscles softening. They knew how bad their brother hurt when this happened. They got up from their seat and walked over to Diego, linking their elbow with his and walked him over to the table.

“I’m going to get you some Advil and make you a cup of tea, alright? You sit tight, sir. Ben will keep you company.” Klaus took a deep breath and clenched his fists. Blue light emitted from them and slowly their brother appeared in the seat across from Diego. Over the months of sobriety and training, Klaus had gotten a lot stronger in their abilities. It didn’t take nearly as much out of them to manifest their brother. They just couldn’t do it for 12+ hours at a time. Klaus took the bag from Diego’s hand and disposed of the remnants of his items.

Ben had a welcoming smile on his face as he pat Diego’s shoulder.

“How are you?” Ben asked softly, his eyes never leaving Diego’s gaze.

“P-pai-pain.” Diego choked weakly, wanting nothing more than to look away. But he knew his brother wasn’t there to judge or hurt him. Ben, other than Klaus, was the only other person who could understand some what of what he was going through. Ben never felt at peace with his body either, his “demons” hurt him. Physically and emotionally.

The hooded man nodded, “You know what I mean Diego,” Ben started. He chose his next words carefully, “How are you dealing with this? It’s been what....7 months since your last one?”

Diego shook his head, “N-nine mo-onths. Glor-g-glorious months.”

Klaus walked over to their siblings with 3 advil PM’s in one hand and a hot cup of chamomile tea in the other. They placed them in front of Diego, taking a seat next to him. He popped the pills in his mouth wordlessly and swallowed.

“If you don’t want to talk about this it’s fine, I understand. But,” Klaus put their finger under Diego’s chin and turned his head so they were making eye contact, “you know we’re always here for you. The even numbers gotta stick together, yeah?” They winked, removing their hand from his chin and back into their lap.

Diego’s vision blurred once more and he felt his cheeks heat up. He took a shaky breath as he tried to regain his composure.

“Diego it’s okay. I promise it’s okay.” Ben reassured his brother. He knew he needed time to process his thoughts when he got like this.

“Y-you’d th-th-think aft-after all th-these years I-I-I,” he let a sob escape his lips, his whole body jerked as he did so, “I’d b-be u-u-used to th-th-this. I’m f-f-fucking thirty!” Diego exclaimed, slamming a fist on the table.

“Diego you shouldn’t have to get used to feeling like your body doesn’t belong to you.” Klaus took their brothers hand, leaning down so they could attempt to lock eyes.

“Your body is yours and it’s a wonderful body. It’s a strong body. Its a talented body, one that can do things not a lot others can. It’s saved the world before too, ya know? It has a lot of memories written on it.” Klaus ran their thumb along the scar on Diego’s eyebrow.

“You are you and that’s all we could ever ask you to be.” Ben expressed, his tone steady.

His siblings kind affirmations were proving to be too much for Diego to handle. He broke down even more, his body shaking violently. Ben got up and walked around the table to his brother. He immediately wrapped his arms around the sobbing man, cherishing the fact he was able to comfort his siblings again. Klaus quickly followed suit.

Klaus and Ben gave each other an expectant look and then a nod. After a few minutes of their embrace, Diego’s sobs slowly started to subside. They silently stood up and put their hand on their brothers back.

“Diego we’re gonna have a cuddle pile, okay?” Klaus inquired even though they knew Diego would have no problem with it.

Diego nodded and they made their way up the stairs and into the “cuddle room”, a term Ben coined. It was one of the many guest rooms in this giant house however this one had a full king size bed. Aka a bed big enough to fit 3 grown adults.

This room had been their safe haven growing up. It had been Klaus’ when he woke up screaming, his nightmares not having left him in his sleep. It has been Ben’s when his demons were hurting and taunting him so much he felt like he couldn’t breathe. And it had been Diego’s when his body worked against him. They were always there for each other.

Ben opened the door and they made their way to the large bed, the three of them finding comfort in the familiar fluffy light yellow comforter. Diego crawled in first with Ben to his left and Klaus to his right.

“Is this okay?” Klaus asked, their voice barely above a whisper. Their arm hovered above Diego’s mid section, ready to back off if needed.

Diego mumbled out a “Mmm” and Klaus happily dropped their arm. Ben nuzzled up on the other side and followed suit, wrapping his arm around his brother.

The three of them fell asleep within minutes. Klaus nightmare-less, Diego content, and Ben relishing in their touch. This was the best night sleep they had gotten in a while.

#klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves #ben hargreeves #tua fic #trans diego #nb klaus #nonbinary klaus #angst #dysphoria // #menstruation // #periods // #hurt/comfort #the umbrella academy fanfiction