#i spend way too much time on this app i am well aware

[limerenceheart]

self aware yan! blade and jing yuan

concept - The duo become aware that their universe is a video game.

a/n - i know that this has already been done before but i really wanted to make my own version. also i do take requests! but only for hsr.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Blade simply did not care considering the mara have always been a nightmare so adding a personal stalker to the mix may not be desirable but he sure wasn't going to waste his time and energy over it.

Blade even started to slightly appreciate the user considering the moments when they would give him food for recovery after his rampant.

As for Jing Yuan, the realistion would momentarily catch him off guard before he would spring into action.

The thing is the general always like to be practical so when he saw how the user actually getting rid of the mara struck monsters, he changed his mind and decided to goes along with the charade.

The only one oblivious to everything was the user where the plan was to keep it that way.

It's just the thing is you're bound to catch feelings after spending loads of time with someone, right?

The seeds of love started to sprout in their hearts but soon turned into despair upon realising that a physical barrier would keep them away from their darling.

The general just dived into his work whereas the stellaron hunter would just obliterate shit.

The user thought she was seeing things as she caught a closer look of dark eyebags belonging to Jing Yuan along with never being able to understand why Blade's health was never full when she would log in.

It must be a glitch but it happened way too often where the user stopped logging into the game.

The duo did not react well to this considering no matter what they did, her smile just wouldn't disappear from their minds.

Blade cracked first by using his blade to create a crack across the screen of the phone.

"Blade, are you stupid? Do you want her to never come back?" The general hissed at him but he just dismissed him with a solemn glare.

"At least, I am doing something rather than just moping around."

Blade's comment struck a nerve so hard that when the user picked up her phone while it being charged, she let out a yelp and dropped the device because of the searing heat.

The general was lucky that her phone was old enough where a new battery would been the problem otherwise their beloved would uninstall the app.

Time passed at a slow pace along with the duo retorted to their original coping mechanisms.

The day before Blade decided to create another crack, their darling returned and greeted checked the stellaron hunter first much to the general's dismay.

By cleaning up their act, she returned and no longer suspected things.

The thing is Blade have far less control than Jing Yuan did along with the fear of her disappearing again lingering back in his mind, his next action was influenced by these emotions.

As the user opened his profile for him to appear in the centre of the screen for her, catching a close up glitch of her beauty should been enough but the insanity won.

"If you disappear again, expect to wake up the next day with scratches on the screen spelling out your name."

The user's eyes widen in shock but Blade just found the hint of fear gleaming in her eyes enamored enough that he just shot a smirk at her.

#hsr #honkai star rail #yandere hsr x reader #yandere hsr #yandere honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #hsr blade #blade #yandere blade #jing yuan #yandere jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #blade x reader #yandere blade x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking out my manager?

Hi there. Trust me this is a WIBTA and not just dating advice.

So I (35F) am basically working at my dream workplace. I cant say what exactly, because I know people follow this account there, but suffice to say its in a desirable industry with a lot of passionate folks, and while its a big (~150 people) place, there's an atmosphere of kindness and joy I've never seen anywhere else. I know a lot of you probably hate me for this, but I am truly aware how rare a workplace this is, and I am grateful. I dont take it for granted. Sometimes the work itself truly sucks, and the pay is outright atrocious, but when your coworkers have your back, it makes all the difference. They accept me even tho I'm trans, and when I've been sick or injured they make sure I'm taken care of. I feel like they are a family of sorts, and I've been working there for over a year now.

Anyways, this wonderful place is held up by a lot of wonderful people, but one in particular is my manager (30F). When I first got hired, I noticed she was cute, but more importantly she was welcoming and accepting. I set aside those feelings, of course, because its a workplace, but they havent gone away.

But lately, this all started to change. We now spend a lot of talking! We have lots of common interests, and there have been nights when both of us will stay for HOURS while the other works, just to chat about whatever! We even text a bit, even about not-work things. Sharing fandom stuff, whatever. The more and more we talked, the more I fell for her. I could hear her go on for days, even if its something I dont care about. Hell, she could read the dictionary and I'd be sitting there grinning because I get to hear her talk. I've got it bad! And then, a few weeks ago, she even brings up how she's given up on dating...but before I could ask more or say anything really, a coworker interrupted and the moment passed.

And here I am, weeks later, smitten like crazy. And I'd say "oh she obviously likes me, she sticks around for you, shares stuff with you" but she's like this with everyone. She's a bit airheaded honestly about it, I mostly find it endearing, but she could absolutely just be doing it because she talks like that to everyone. She's bisexual, and very pro-trans, so I dont think that would be an issue in any way.

But here's where the WIBTA part comes: I have told a couple other coworkers, and they brought up not only that its a dangerous move to date a manager, but also that it could hurt the workplace itself. I mean, this is a place where so many people get to have a joyful opportunity at life, and as I've said this is tremendously rare...what if I take up too much of this manager's time, and she cant be there for other workers? What if this manager gets fired for dating an underling, and gets replaced by someone awful? There's a whole lot of what-if's floating through my mind.

And then I start thinking, if I ask her out, wouldnt that be putting her in an awkward position? I mean if she doesnt like me, and has to turn me down, she still has to work with me, and I her. I can compartmentalize that, but...she might have more trouble. Is it selfish of me to even try, when I could just let well enough be? And on top of that, what did she mean by "giving up on dating"? It didnt sound like she was aromantic, just that she decided it wont happen, but maybe its just going to be a problem if I ask her out. It feels like the stakes of even asking her out are so high. So I keep chatting with her in hopes that I'll catch a lead, but...idk.

Anyways, I am primarily concerned with if it would be a dick move to anyone in my workplace, especially her, but genuinely I am just lost here. I've never dated anyone at a workplace, but like. The dating apps suck, and I dont think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. I've even thought about quitting or finding another workplace to make it an easier decision, but I feel like thats even worse; like it would put pressure on her to date me because I quit for her or something. So how about it? Should I keep my mouth shut, or is love truly worth all risks?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[steffigraf]

warning for a clearly anxiety-ridden oversharing freakout below the cut. sorry. i’m too sensitive and i’m unfortunately acutely aware of it.

tldr; im being a drama queen. gonna take a tumblr break for a week or two. to my mutuals, feel free to dm for my insta. i’ll be active until i wake up tomorrow morning and then i’m gonna zip

gonna preface this by saying this is in no way directed to the people whom i actually talk to constantly on here like you lot were lovely and im just dealing with a lot of demons in my head :(

anyway. sometimes i feel more like a product manufacturer than a person on here. and idk. i know most of you guys are really just following me for gifs and content and whatever but. yeah. idk. i guess the things i say don’t matter to anyone unless it’s funny. or if people want to call me out. not that im mad abt that exactly btw i do appreciate when people respectfully call me out for my own mistakes but. sometimes. i feel like im in a fishbowl and you’re all just waiting for me to say something wrong and cancel me. or then again, maybe most of you already think im a shit person and you just stay for the gifs. or maybe you guys think i’m a loser who has nothing to do but spend all day on this goddamn website.

and i know, somewhere inside me, that that’s not true and that it’s clearly the anxiety talking. maybe it’s just me maybe i’m making this up in my head i dunno. but i’m just kinda tired right now. too tired to battle the anxiety like usual at least. and i don’t really feel wanted outside of the content i produce, beyond the notes of my gifs or my fun posts. which ik shouldn’t matter but. i’m a pathological people pleaser etc etc.

(god, seeing this all typed out, i can’t even fucking blame you guys if you actly don’t like me cause. i kinda wanna shake myself by the shoulders and tell myself get a grip girl the world doesn’t revolve around you shut up shut up shut your damn mouth—)

i’ve been trying to manage by unfollowing and blocking a few people (which btw, if i did that to you and we used to be mutuals, it’s probably nothing personal i mostly just kept people i’m a bit closer to). but i’m still not really settled. and considering how i’m posting like every other day about feeling like shit, you guys probably figured that out lmao.

and well. on a separate note. seeing that rat’s name alone is too much for me sometimes. i couldn’t watch his game with carlos. i spent hours in his match with daniil turned away from the television, wearing noise canceling headphones while trying (and failing) to talk myself down from a full blown anxiety attack. i’ve said this before but the way people talk about him, both the fucked up silence and the justified outrage, it reminds me way too much about a family problem i have right now. hits uncomfortably close to home. prior to this i kinda thought i’d made my peace with the whole family situation but no apparently not. had he won the semis, i wasn’t even sure if i would be able to stomach cheering for jannik if it meant having to watch that man play.

so. idk. between the way actual tennis has been making me feel and the way tennisblr in general has seemed for me lately, i figure i need some space.

long story short ive been spending way too much time on tumblr this ao. and its gotten really bad for my mental health i guess. so i think i need to take maybe a week or two, to clear my head. watch tennis without opening this app every other point. spend time with people i love. get back to therapy. try to be a functioning adult.

(this is so fucking dramatic for a goddamn week of no tumblr i know that and i want to smack myself upside the head because why am i like this why do i make things snowball why why why—)

anyway. yeah. that’s it. if you actually read through all of that then. thanks. if not it’s okay too.

to my mutuals, the ones whom i’ve had at least some form of friendly interaction with in replies or dms, you can ask for my insta account btw. not that i’m crazy active on there but like. if you guys wanna be friends beyond the anonymity of this yknow. no pressure though.

#sorry to get all sad again #been editing this on my drafts all day #ive not been in a good headspace lately #*

[abalidoth]

whats your fav album/albums??

Like anyone else who was sentient and within earshot of a radio in 2012, I was aware of Call Me Maybe. It was inescapable, virulently catchy, an icepick of bubblegum straight to the tympaneum. As mocked as it was beloved, as society is unable to tolerate anything feminine.

I don't strongly remember my feelings about it at the time. I was probably self-aware enough at that point to not explicitly shit on it -- that was right around when I was making my first tentative steps towards not identifying as a guy. But my musical taste at the time skewed more towards They Might Be Giants and Imogen Heap so it wouldn't have been anything I sought out.

Flash forward to the summer of 2015. I'm in a bar in Ames, Iowa with a bunch of other mathematicians, there for the Graduate Research Workshop in Combinatorics. After a hard day of bootstrap percolation and RNA folding and graph discharging, we descended on this little college bar's trivia night like a swarm of LaTeX-using locusts. Combinatorists tend to be eclectic sorts, so trivia comes naturally to us, and I'm no exception; our four mathematician teams took the top four spots that night, and my team was first among those. There are a few other stories that came out of that night, but the relevant one is that I heard a little song over the speakers called I Really Like You.

Like Call Me Maybe, IRLY was uncompromisingly girly. But I was at a stage in my life where that was a balm to my aching soul. I had been slowly growing in my femininity month by agonizing month, living in the freezing wastes of Laramie, Wyoming. I wore skirts around the house, went by ze/hir pronouns online, but nobody in person knew. Every Friday afternoon my wife would paint my nails, and every Sunday evening I'd scrub the authenticity out of myself with acetone and a cotton ball. So the femininity of the song was appealing to me.

So, too, was the lyrical content. It was self-awarely about a liminal state in relationships, that hazy limerence where actual commitment isn't in the cards, but the feelings are strong, so why don't we ride them while we can? It's not that it hasn't been done before, but Carly Rae did it well. I added the song to the mp3 app on my phone and didn't think much more of it.

Cut to the summer of 2016. Brexit had just happened, I had just found out my dad was planning to vote for Trump. The sun over the Rockies was bright, but the world was feeling small and hostile. We were spending the week with my parents and some family in a mountain town in Colorado. Emma and I aren't the hiking sort, so when the rest of the folks went out in the wilderness, we decided to explore some of the little towns in the area. In one of those towns was a record store, and in that record store was a CD copy of E-MO-TION.

I recognized it as the album that had that song I liked from last summer. We listened to it in the car on the way back up to Laramie, and I liked it a lot. Now, we usually listened to music on the old iPod that was connected to our aux cable, rather than the CD drive. So that CD just kinda stayed there in the car.

November rolled around. Trump won the election. My dysphoria and my fear and my seasonal depression blended into a eutectic misery, greater than the sum of its parts, a suffocating miasma of soul-deep pain, that I had to keep off my face for the sake of my students.

I started listening to that CD in the car more and more. I memorized the track numbers, I knew exactly what stretches of songs were best for which emotions. That album became a lifeline for me. When I was driving an icy road in the dark on three hours of sleep, stressing about my lack of progress on my dissertation, and the intrusive thoughts came in that maybe, it wouldn't be so bad if the car spun out on the black ice?

I'd put on Making the Most of the Night. Carly Rae knew I was having a rough time, and here she was to hijack me, hijack me.

#tesseranswers #tessa writes stuff

[lobotomyladylives]

That dating app Anon is hilarious. So inaccurate.(I personally think dating apps is more scary than walking alone at midnight. Cause you’re looking to meet with a strange man on the internet ;fuck no. That chills my blood thinking of it. But I know folks who used dating apps.)

But my aunt met her husband on a dating app. She was I think in about at least her late 30’s or early 40’s, because my cousin were teenagers at that age. She divorced her husband for finding out he was a porn user

I came from Mormonism and people act like you’re an old maid if you’re unmarried at 21+ so it’s just makes me cringe realizing how much our society is influenced in general with cults. This cult mentality of thinking. Patriarchy is a sex and death cult.

I personally have no interest in dating at this point and some women seem to think it’s sad I’m childfree and single… but I don’t want kids either. I’ll have women tell me “it can happen at any age!” And express they had their first child at 37, or start their career till 40.

It’s so sinister how we are taught to fear aging. It’s a major distraction. From career and ambitions and talents and hobbies.

I think maybe men know that because they die sooner they want to take us with them, they’re like leeches.

Go on a dating app and pose as a 15 year old girl, a lot of men, a scary amount of men will prey in teenage girls online. So what exactly was anon’s point?

I’ve found the older I get, the less vulnerable I am to manipulation, and I think that’s why men prefer “younger women.”

First of all your aunt is based as fuck for divorcing her husband bc of porn. I'm assuming it was a decision based in religion since you said you come from Mormonism but still, always good to hear about a hypocritical coomer getting his ass kicked to the curb.

Oh you are sooo spot on with the observation of how society is absolutely infested with cult mentality. Patriarchal society in general really can be considered one of the biggest cults known to humanity bc basically every man alive is complicit & seeks to keep women from questioning our "role" with various strategies ranging from "you'll die a lonely hag surrounded by 20 cats if you don't conform" to "you'll burn in hell if you don't conform." And of course, conforming in both cases means spending your entire life in the service of men despite the well documented fact that single childless women are a happier demographic on average than married women with kids. Cults brainwash people the same way patriarchy brainwashes women: by fear mongering with lies & propaganda designed to ensure our subordination. It's all such bullshit.

And yeah men definitely prefer younger women out of a desire to manipulate & mold them into their "ideal woman" in addition to the pedophilic beauty standards they have. They admit to it as well bc they genuinely don't seem to understand why it's fucking disgusting and horrific and literally grooming (they hate when you use that word to describe a 47 yr old dating a 19 yr old but adults can be groomed too, every abusive relationship involves grooming and an age gap isn't even a necessary component though it helps due to the lack of maturity & life experience, which abusive men are well aware of and actively seek out).

I like how you rightfully call the fear of aging imposed on us by society as a distraction bc that's exactly it. Capitalism (which is imo inherently a greedy corrupt & deeply male minded model of economics) wants us wasting time and money on stupid shit like plastic surgery wrinkle creams and botox, to line their pockets yes but also bc as long as we are directing our critical eyes towards the mirror the ruling class (again, mostly male) are free to continue operating as usual without pesky things like protests and boycotts getting in the way of their bottom line. Not to mention on a personal level, men get to benefit from us being too absorbed in self scrutiny to realize we are worth more than what they give us (usually nothing but headaches) & the beauty obsession is nothing more than fighting a battle that can never be won bc the standard always morphs & female body types literally go in and out of fashion with the times.

#i havent slept in like 32 hrs so i hope all of this makes sense lol #thanks for the ask i enjoy the excuse to go on tirades abt this stuff #asks

[nickgerlich]

Fetch This

We love our pets. They are valued members of our household, and in some cases, we enjoy their company more than we do that of other humans. We speak to them as if they understand our language, although they are very challenged when it comes to communicating back.And we will do almost anything for them.

In addition to the 334 million Americans residing here, there are 89.7 million dogs and 58.3 million cats. That’s a lot of extra mouths to feed, but we do it because we crave their companionship, and without their faithful humans, they would suffer. All told, USAmericans spend $136.8 billion each year on their pets.

That’s a huge market, and while big-box chains like Pet Smart and Petco long ago realized this, I am surprised that mass marketers had not stepped up to the plate to claim a bigger piece of the action.Sure, all the big ones, like Target, Meijer, Walmart, and others, have extensive pet supplies sections in their stores.

But there is still money on the table, and that is pet services. These run the gamut from nail clippings to grooming and vaccinations, the kinds of things that typically require a visit to a veterinarian.

Walmart, though, has sniffed out a potentially lucrative strategy to break into that sector by opening its first pet center, with plans to open many more if it does well.

I am betting that, in addition to realizing this market is simply too good to ignore, that Walmart is also very much aware that change is afoot in the veterinary services field as well. Turns out that between 2017 and 2022, $45 billion in private equity deals were made to scoop up local vets and their clinics. That’s another way of saying that, while your local vet may look and smell like a home-town operation, they may very well be part of a much larger entity.

That’s your cue, Walmart, because if vet clinics are attracting that kind of PE money, there must be a lot more gold to mine. And, Walmart offers something that all the others do not: convenience. Stir in competitive pricing, and you have a 1-2 punch that will find shoppers bringing Fido to the store, and picking their groceries while he gets his nails trimmed and shots updated. It’s also not a whole lot different from dropping off your car for a tire rotation or oil change at Walmart while you do your shopping.

I have to smile, too, because this is something that is so NOT digital, at a time when it seems everything is going that way. It requires you to show up in person, along with your pet. You know. Be in the moment, and interact with other humans. And their pets. You might be able to book appointments and so forth electronically, but you can’t get a rabies shot online or through an app.

But there is a digital side to all of this, and that’s the new subscription service Walmart is rolling out for regular consumables for your pets. Heck, if Amazon will deliver my vitamins each month, there’s no reason Walmart can’t deliver a 46-pound bag of dog food on a similar schedule. Let them do the heavy lifting.

The new pet center will have its own dedicated entrance, which is a wise move, since I’m sure Walmart doesn’t want people and their pets entering the store along with everyone else. It will be staffed by employees of a separate firm, although it will all be branded as Walmart. This also makes sense, because Walmart does not have the types of employees needed to deliver such services.But it sure has the right venue for selling them.

The planned price list for services will also put Walmart in a good place. Vet clinics have had little or no competition in the past, but Walmart is about to shake the fruit off of that tree. With inflationary pressures finding more people, including pet owners, trading down or delaying spending money, this is a strategy that is consistent with Walmart’s overall mission to provide value.

Amid all of the effort to push forward into the future, to incorporate ever more automation, it is refreshing to see that there is still opportunity to make money the old fashioned way. I’m thinking my dog Huck would like this, and if and when we get this service in Canyon, we’ll be there.

Dr “You Want A Treat, Buddy?” Gerlich

Audio Blog

#marketing #Walmart #pets #retail

[ga-yuu]

I see you are worried for ikegen future after the news about Ikerev. I mean, I was devastated. We haven't event gotten Blanc route yet. But... Maybe it's a sign that they will release ikegen in English? Or am I just crazy?

This is just my theory. Maybe they decided to shut down Ikemen revolution because they're planning on releasing a new game. Because like I said, Cybird must know when to stop. I know many fans still like the older games, but if they want to release new games in the future and if you want to play newer games, at some point both have to stop and move on, right? It's sad, but we can't do anything about it. At least we could say Ikerev survived more than 4 years I guess...it's copium...which is way better than what happened to Ikelive. No one even talked about that game when it was released and that survived for only 6 months or so. If you go to the Ikelive official website, you can read the interviews of the voice actors and it is so heartbreaking to see that they had so much planned for the game and its upcoming events but due to not gaining enough popularity it had to be shut down.

This comes to my second question, why Ikerev instead of Ikegen? Between the two, Ikerev is more popular than Ikegen. It even got an English release and has a larger fanbase than Ikegen. But I was confused as to what is the actual popularity benchmark. Some JP players (who, like me, were paranoid if ikegen would be next!) said that the popularity of their games is not only determined by the votes that are gained from the general election, but also from the merchandise purchased for each game and their revenue, as well. Because Cybird like any other company is greedy. Now I'm not saying that you should go spend your life savings on Ikemen genjiden to make it popular...No! The reason why I started this blog was to make people aware that this game exists. Because when I found out about this game, I saw no one on Tumblr posting about anything related to it. No fanarts, no fanfictions, heck! not even a rant post saying that 'Hey! Ikemen genjiden is shit. Don't play it'... So I tried the game myself to check if it was even worth my time and since then I've never uninstalled it. I started to write as many translations as I could because I know English players won't play the game until it has a global release and it's a painful process to sit down and translate each line. That's why I did the painful work so that you can guys somehow enjoy this game. I felt like if more people started playing the JP app, voting for the general election on their anniversary, answering their survey, etc will let them know that even English players are interested in their game. You don't have to buy their merchandise if you don't want to, but at least show some support by downloading the JP app and playing. Again! I'm not saying that waste all your time, 24 hours a day, playing this game. I'm just saying, if you want to support the game and enjoy more contents, play the Japanese app. Even if you don't understand what's going on, you can at least enjoy the spine-chilling soundtracks!

I already translated 3 main stories in my blog, @sakura-samsara is translating SHigehira and Yoichi's route, @yoshitsune1411 is doing the Kagetoki route. So check their blogs as well. If none of these are your favorite characters? No problem! I have a solution for that too. You can ask summary for each route from world-famous Ikemen writer @dear-mrs-otome herself. I'm sure she won't mind. (Please don't curse me @dear-mrs-otome for using your name...). If you're still complaining, use a translator! You guys didn't seem to mind playing the JP app of ikemen prince when it was released then why are you not doing the same thing for ikemen genjiden.

See, if you want Ikemen genjiden it has to be very popular and just because they shut down Ikerev doesn't mean that Ikegen's English release is possible. Because if they wanted it, they would have already done it.

Also, the other two people who send me some other questions relating to Ikemen genjiden...don't worry! I've already seen it, I'll answer it soon because I need some time to gather some facts about each character to give somewhat of an accurate answer. I'm also a little busy, right now. I'll upload it soon. So please bear with me.

#asks #ikemen series #ikemen genjiden

[over-dramatic-diary]

hi there

Hi there. Welcome to the diary of a somewhat overdramatic, slightly neurotic, and at least a little too self-analyzing 20-year-old boy.

Yeah, I am aware this is more than a little cliche. But I handwrite a little too slowly for a paper journal and am a little too much of a packrat to not have several impromptu diary entries written into random notebooks.

So here we are, in a slightly futile attempt at irony mixed with a genuine attempt at sincerity.

Well it's nice to meet you (wow that was a bit stupid for an intro. maybe this is becoming a little too stream of consciousness.) My name is Jackson. That may or may not be my actual name. Whenever someone asks me that icebreaker question, "How would you describe yourself to a complete stranger?" I get just a little afraid. But maybe this is the first thing you should know about me: I came up with the idea for this diary during the commercial break for an episode of Glee. And a season four episode too, so you know this is truly born out of an unfulfilled sense of drama.

(pause for laughter)

Ok, maybe you should know a little more about me than that. I am 20 years old, I use he/him pronouns, and I am going into my third year of undergrad in the fall. I wanna tell you the rest of what you need to know by telling you a story:

A few months ago, I shamefully was perusing the app for gay men that shall not be named. I came across the profile of a very handsome young man, a few years older than me. He was 31.

No I'm absolutely kidding. He was 24. Doesn't seem so bad now, does it? But he was a very cute man, shall we call him Hayden? He was an extremely normal and average man. Not particularly adonis-like. Nor intellectually exalting. But there was something appealing and gravitational about his normality. He was a literal printer salesman. He works in a shop that sells and services printers. Thank god, a man that doesn't look for some artistic or academic enlightenment in life. Ok I'm getting a little too rhapsodic here.

He was normal. And I had never had a hell of a lot of normal in my life. I had to fight pretty hard to feel normal. We'll talk more about that a day other than today. But I will not lie to you, imaginary-hopefully-nonexistent reader. He came over, we smoked a joint, and drank a little more wine than we probably should have for a Wednesday night. And we slept together. And in the end, he wound up spending the night. It was amazing. It was only the second time I'd ever had a night like that, and the only other time was with a man who would be the first person I would ever say the three unfortunately fateful words to: I love you. I repeat, another story for another day.

As I lay there with his arm across my chest, he looked at me with his adorably blonde hair and notably blue eyes, and he told me that I was one of the first men he'd been with and that I "really got" him in a way no one had yet. And dear lord, there was a time when I didn't know what it meant to have your heart skip a beat, but I did then. I held a joint to his mouth, and he inhaled. Then I brought it to my own and did the same. He kissed me as we both blew out.

So as you now know, I am a seriously romantic bastard. Not to mention my borderline pathological proclivity towards storyline. In short, this diary may be an ill-fated yet sincere attempt to reclaim some of my dewey-eyedness. But I would like to hold myself to using this thing. Whether that is frequently or once in a while, who knows? Either way, this has brought me some extra much-needed peace tonight.

For now, thanks for listening (I hope not).

Have a good night my loves.

- Jackson

[ambientbroth]

Undiagnosed Autism Entry 1

I came across this video today

And spent the last 12 hours typing out my experiences in my notes app and staring into blank space traveling down my memories. Reading certain traits that I strongly identify with.

I know how people feel about self diagnosing but I also know I’m truly the only one that knows myself. I’m not acting a certain way if there’s no audience and I find myself doing all these traits alone by myself.

Today I realized how much I actually stim and how it’s just been over looked by everyone, including myself. I CONSTANTLY rub my feet under the covers and actually EVERYTHING is about my feet. Fuck recently I can’t shut the fuck to about them. I just discovered washing-my-feet-instead-of-my-whole-body-to-feel-good and I will bring it up anytime I can. I can’t have them outside the covers or I will have a ‘overreaction’. I hate wet surface on my feet or anything stuck to my feet, I will GAG!!! They are almost always interlocked with each other, big toe with big toe. When my feet are cold that’s all I can talk about and I can’t focus unless I can warm them up with water. I will do it 5 times if I need to. I can’t walk on hard surfaces with wet feet.. too many particles.

I also stim by doing finger dances to music and breaking out into full arm and hand choreography. If I know all the words it’s a bonus point and it must play all the way through. My partners car has a fucked up radio (stupid Ford carsFUCKAMERICANMADEANYTHING) so it skips every song after like 12 seconds or sometimes it’ll play it all the way -ITS SO UNPREDICTABLE AND IT KILLS ME INSIDE

I also Overshare a lot and I go into a lot of detail when I talk. Recently I’ve become very aware of how I talk to people. I avoid small talk as much as I can. I info dump as fast and excited and as in much detail as I can. I also try to make them as excited as me which never works on 30 year old cis men unless they are drunk (I sweep and mop a bar every morning as a ‘job’ and sometimes hang out and eat there for free :) they are like my uncles but all different races and faces) but that’s not really oversharing. I do Overshare like bathroom stuff, my digestive problems. My ex gf would call me her “gassy girl” because when she would ask how I am that’s usually what I would start with “well I’ve been farting a lot today extra stinky” and it didn’t like hit me until she gave me that nickname, I talk about gas too much.

I ate pizza rolls and drank chocolate milk every morning for 12 years of my life… all through grade school and middle school that is what I did. I also ended my nights drinking a full 16 oz of 2% milk - every FUCKING night. I do not joke when I say this, this was every night. My grandma would speak words of concern for me and judge me and that’s when my mom started taking the milk away from me and switching up my breakfast, I did not compute well. It really fucked me up but so was eating that everyday so??? Idk probably for the best???

I have a lot more I wrote down but I thought I would share.. maybe this is a journey for me. Idk if I want to spend 2K to get a paper but also it’ll just confirm what I know about myself or not confirm it….?? I also know how long it takes for women to actually get a diagnosis, how much sweat and tears. It’s not a easy thing to do.

I wish I knew more people to talk to about this. So I share to the internet the start of something I needed very much as a child.

#undiagnosed something #undiagnosed autism #self diagnosis #self diagnosers #self diagnosed autisic #lgbtq #autism in women #autism in girls #autisic traits

[charredcheddar]

It's autism awareness month so I guess everyone needs to be aware of me.

This does devolve into a vent so fair warning here

I was diagnosed in my last year of secondary school during post-lockdown when I was 15/16 (though for some reason my report says I was 17 despite that objectively not being true; that's an offical medical document, it's mildly concerning). The only reason I did was because lockdown had messed me up so much I point-blank refused to attend school. In the end I had to join a video call with my head of house and ESLA worker who told my parents that they could not help me and to get professional help. I thought they meant therapy for depression. My parents decided they meant to get the autism diagnosis I had been asking for.

I'd been self diagnosed for at least a year by that point so I really didn't know what it was going to do for me. The only real benefit was mildly getting rid of my imposter syndrome. Since I diagnosed myeslf based on information I got on tiktok, I was worried I was just following a trend or that the app itself had caused all my issues (like ruining my attention span). Nowadays I don't know what is my autism, what is depression and what is just me being lazy and unmotivated.

Either way, I am now formally diagnosed and have been for 2 and a half years. Not that it helped. I did manage to go back to school and get my GCSEs. Honestly they were very good but deep down I knew I was capable of better. I got into the local sixth form studying four subjects. At the end of first year, I signed up to take an EPQ. To noone's surprise, this was too much for me and I did no work over the summer. As well as this, I was 9 months behind on maths/further maths homework, barely completing my film coursework and had pretty much checked out of computing. During a breakdown 2 days before the start of the year, my mum sat me down and asked if I really wanted to go back. I said no and she called my form tutor to arrange me dropping out. Since I was going to turn 18 in a few weeks, she said I didn't need to go back at all.

So now 7 months later I'm not really doing anything. I've had the same part time job since late 2022 and did a 3 month full time job a few months ago. However, that was so draining I didn't accept the extended contract they offered. To be completely honest, I'm worried I will never be able to hold down a full time job. I'm also mourning the fact I will never be able to go to university. I cannot do independent study and self motivation. It's hard considering my whole life I felt like I was meant to go to uni and study a stem subject because I was book smart. Looking back, I don't think I ever actually learned anything I just was really good at memorising information for exams.

I'm trying to spend more time on my hobbies and interests but it's hard to motivate myself to get up. Most of my time is spent on social media watching content to make myself feel better. Every so often I do get around to doing something that I actually want to do. I crocheted myself one of those cat ear hats (it was too big so I might have to do it again but oh well) and I started editing a livestream I did last month. Plus my music club is starting agin soon and I've missed practising. I wish I could do more. There's still so much I want to learn and do.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't autistic. The one thought that really messed with me was the fact that if I wasn't autistic I wouldn't be as good at school as I was since my 'intellegence' was just pattern recognition. Ultimately there would be nothing special about me. However, would I have longer lasting friendships? Would I lose my crippling fear of authority and rules so I could have more fun? After all, I'm 18 and feel like it's too late to enjoy my life.

I suppose there's some parts of my autism that I consider core parts of myself. My ability to become obsessed with something like a piece of media that brings me joy. My pattern recognition, as mentioned. Without those I don't really know who I am. Autism is such a core part of my personality and self and without it I really don't think I would be the same person.

Anyway that was a lot but I need to get back to telling you about the Five Nights at Freddy's lore/ref

#autism #actually autistic #autism awareness #autism acceptence month #tw vent #regularly scheduled hyperfixation ranting coming soon

[gsgroupofficial]

How does social media affect your mental health?

Social media is great to follow to know what is trending! But, are you aware of social media addiction? Social media addiction can take a toll on your mental health. It can affect your overall well-being. The majority of us have got addicted to social media during the COVID phase and this addiction has been following since then.

GS Hospital Ghaziabad, the best hospital in Uttar Pradesh takes pride in taking the initiative to bring about awareness about social media addictions for overall mental well-being. As per research, it has been proven that there is a strong link between social media addiction, depression or anxiety, and other mental health issues. A healthy mental and physical balance is a must for us to function well. None of us want to fall prey to mental health issues due to social media dependency and end up searching for the best doctor in India to treat it.

GS Hospital Ghaziabad, the hospital in India joins hands with its best doctors in India for valuable insights on how social media affects your mental health. Let’s begin to learn more about social media addictions, their dependency, and how to deal with them.

What is social media addiction?

If you are habituated and addicted to the ever-increasing number of platforms from Facebook, to Instagram, and spend a lot of time on it in front of your mobile, laptop, computer, or iPad, you have social media addiction. As per research, it is confirmed that social media can be as addictive as coffee, smoking, alcohol, gambling, or shopping. This can interfere with your daily life and may get in the way of your jobs, relationships, and other responsibilities affecting your quality of life.

In simple terms, social media addiction is the overuse of social media with the inability to control it causing difficulty in functioning at times.

On the other hand, social media has many benefits such as connecting with people, socializing, new updates, and other information. However, overuse of social media is seen in all age groups from children to elderly people as we are growing in the digital world. In the digital age, it is quite difficult to stay away from social media.

Let us learn how social media affects your mental health and you can live with social media more healthily.

How do I know that I am a social media dependency?

Social media has a major impact on the brain. It stimulates the brain’s reward center, which is the ventral striatum, to release dopamine and serotonin. This is considered as “feel good hormones” which make you feel happy. This gets you addicted to social media.

Here are some warning signals to know that you are dependent on social media

Spending a long time daily on social media apps

Avoiding other daily activities

Thinking about social media and missing it when occupied with work

Hyperactivity and restlessness due to the inability to access social media

Unwanted emotions while trying to absorb too much content on social media

Spending less time with family and friends affects the relationship

Distracted at work affects productivity

Avoiding self-care activities such as exercise, sleep and mindfulness

How does social media affect your mental health?

Here is how social media affects your mental health.

1.   Fear of missing out (FOMO)

If you are addicted to social media, you are always in fear of missing out on certain updates. Many of us are prone to scroll on Facebook, and Instagram to look for what’s trending. One may get addicted to social media to get recent updates and trendy or happening behavior. This may lead to social media addiction behavior.

2.   Social isolation

Staying addicted to social media may prevent spending quality time for yourself as well as for your loved ones. This may cause dependency on social media leading to social isolation.

3.   Trigger sadness and depression

Avoiding self-care and self-love due to social media dependency may trigger sadness and depression. Moreover, if you are not spending time with your family and friends at social gatherings for good bonding, it may lead to social isolation causing sadness and low mood.

4.   Continuous comparison with others

We are always in competitive spirits to go trendy when it comes to recent updates. This may create a continuous comparison for others. The chronic comparison may create a worsening of things at times.

5.   Trigger jealousy and negative behavior

Comparison factors may create a vicious cycle leading to negative feelings for yourself. This may give rise to a feeling of jealousy and rage causing mood swings affecting overall mental well-being.

6.   Delusion and overthinking

Being dependent on social media may create a need to overthink at times. Too much thinking with overcrowded thoughts may lead to confusion and lack of clarity to think at times.

7.   Disturbed sleep

Sleep disturbance is one of the main features of social media addiction. The majority of us will agree to a behavior that is common to most of us. This is scrolling through social media apps before sleeping to know what’s happening around you.

8.   Disorganized and sedentary lifestyle

A timely schedule is a must to keep yourself organized. If you are spending long hours in front of social media, it is time to think again as this may lead to a couch potato feeling similar to sitting in front of a TV leading to a sedentary lifestyle and obesity.

9.   Binge eating behavior

Staying in front of mobile phones for scrolling over social media apps will cause binge eating behavior. This may release hunger hormones causing more dependency on social media to look out for more updates.

Symptoms of social media dependency

Here are a few signs and symptoms of social media dependency which are as follows-

Anxiety

Compulsive behavior to be always around mobile

Mood changes

Mental exhaustion

Oversleeping

Self-esteem issues

Eye strain

Mental chronic stress

An outburst of hunger pangs

Dealing with social media behaviors

Dealing with your social media behaviors can be quite difficult at times. Unusual social media addiction can affect mental health and cause clinical disorders such as anxiety, depression, hyperactivity in children, restlessness, insomnia, weight gain, and more issues.

GS Hospital, thebest hospital in Uttar Pradesh, provides expertise in dealing with clinical disorders that arise due to social media addiction. They have a team of doctors and psychologists who provide treatment interventions for your social media addiction after taking your detailed case history. This makes them count among thetop 10 hospitals in Ghaziabad to provide the best solution for social media addiction. Here are certain therapies which are effective for social media addiction.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Dialectical behavior therapy

Motivational therapy

Group counseling session

Holistic mental solutions

Early intervention is key to dealing with social media behavior. Certain lifestyle tips may help with social media addiction. Let us go ahead and discover the best lifestyle tips that can help us deal with social media addiction in the right way.

Lifestyle tips for social media addiction

Here are the best lifestyle tips for social media addiction.

Plan a gathering

Get addicted to a healthy lifestyle

Stay occupied at work

Take time to exercise and sweat out

Spend time with a friend or colleague

Pick up a new hobby

Conclusion

If you or someone you know is finding difficulty in maintaining distance from social media addiction or habits, consult one of the best doctors in India from GS Hospital Ghaziabad, who will screen you to check for any clinical disorder arising from social media addiction and recommend the right course of treatment to recover.

#MentalHealth #SocialMedia #Addiction #DealWithThem #GSHospital #GSGroup #DelhiNCR #UttarPradesh #India

[dailyaudiobible]

8/19/2023 DAB Transcript

Esther 4:1-7:10, 1 Corinthians 12:1-26, Psalm 36:1-12, Proverbs 21:21-22

Today is the 19th day of August, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. How are you today? I'm fine. I am fine. It's hot here in Tennessee. But things are going well. I hope they are well, wherever you might be, and that we might all remember that it is the joy of the Lord, that is our strength, and may we find it and maybe walk in it, as we take the next step forward together. Yesterday, we began the book of Esther and we talked about that. Today, we will take the next step forward in Esther and then tomorrow we will conclude the book of Esther. And so, we kinda have the lay of the land. A queen of Persia named Vashti was deposed. A Jewish queen was installed in her place. Her name was Hadassah or Esther, but nobody knows she's a Jew. Her uncle Mordecai has saved the life of the king. He too, is a Jew but a man named Haman has been elevated to very, very high rank in the kingdom and everybody supposed to bow down to Haman. Mordecai won't do that. Haman decides to destroy all the Jews in the Persian Empire, the king of Persia has agreed not understanding fully, that he has a Jewish queen at his side. And so, edicts are sent out throughout the Empire telling of this day, the 13th day of the 12 month, where everybody supposed to kill the Jews and take all their stuff. And so, we left our reading yesterday with…with the city of Susa, the Citadel capital city in an uproar over this edict, that has been sent out throughout the Empire, while the king and Haman sit down to drink. And that's where you pick up the story. Today, Esther chapters 4 through 7.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word, we thank You for bringing us through another one of the weeks that we get to spend together, and all that You have deposited into our minds and hearts throughout this week. And even as we continue through this mighty story of the book of Esther. We see a mighty dramatic rescue, when all seemed hopeless, there You were in the middle of it. And we are encouraged because this has always been true. You are in the middle of it and sometimes You call us for such a time as this. May we be awake and aware; we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, that's where you find out what's happening. So, find out what's happening anytime you want, anytime you can. Check out the Daily Audio Bible app as well. That puts everything very conveniently in the palm of your hand and just so much more, you can track your progress as we navigate through the Scriptures. Just check it out, so much more. And the app is free, it can be found from the App Store that works with your device. So, check it out. And check out the different sections, like the Community Section. This is where to get connected on social media. This is where the Prayer Wall lives. Check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop. There are resources that can take us deeper into the locations of the Bible or deeper into different aspects of our faith or things to wear, things to journal with, the Daily Audio Bible journal that we crafted over years to create the…the best journal, the right size, everything, to just kinda carry around. At least, in our opinion. All of our writing resources because we definitely encourage journaling our way. If God’s gonna speak and we’re gonna spend a year in His word, then we should probably write some things down that we need to remember. So, all these kinds of resources can be found in the Daily Audio Bible Shop, so check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible. Thank you, humbly, there would be no Global Campfire if we weren't here together and thank God, we are. So, thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253

And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

Good morning, Daily Audio Bible prayer friends and friends. Oh my goodness. Brian, the 14th of August this morning, I’m literally crying and in tears. Having come over from the United Kingdom into Africa and to minister I’ve had my first encounter where people call you, you know your faults. And I initially had that when someone messaged me as I was preparing to go minister. But I felt the disappointment of the Father on my heart. And I was saying, what do I do, do I just stop ministering. Like, I don’t want people to know me as fault. But you know, the Lord then said to me, it’s because of your hair. That person, that senior leader was fearful because they were seeing the unforgiveness and they were fearful of the territory that we’re coming to take. And the end of the day, we’re all in it together as one. The harvest is plenty, there is so much going on. And so, there is no need to have a fight about who’s coming in. We’ve all got a job to do in a certain area that the Lord has called us into. And so, for all those in leadership and in senior leadership who have had arrows thrown at him, I just want to bless you and honor you for the work that you have done. Brian, thank you so much for this encouragement. It was so needed. As we step out and as we push back the darkness here on the ground, it’s certainly been a word that I have needed to hear as the Lord opens up doors for us in Africa. So, I just want to bless you all. Thank you for this platform. I love you all. I always listen to your comments. And I thank you to those who have been standing with us and praying for us. Prayers are definitely needed for us here on the ground. Bless you all. Bye.

Hello, DAB family this is Joy Bubble from Pennsylvania calling to encourage Brother Ryan from Indiana. Ryan, I am a nursing student and just got married two months ago and have been trying to complete my onboarding requirements for fall semester. I was late in submitting my TB and physical test which ended up making it so that because of my programs policy, I couldn’t continue on this Fall with school. I have to wait until February now. And I have all this time opened up and I’m trying to figure out what to do with it. I’m looking at jobs and you know, praying and thinking about how God wants me to spend my time. But after listening to your prayer request, I was reading Romans 12:1-2 and I just wanted to read that for you now. It says, I appeal to you therefore, brothers by the mercies of God to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, Holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. I don’t personally know that weight, that comes with having to provide for a family like you do. But I do know what the Bible says and it says that sometimes by testing that’s how you know and discern what is the will of God, that perfect, pleasing will. And I just pray that in this season, God would give you the perseverance to keep pressing in and asking what is His will. And that’s my prayer for you today.

Morning DAB family, it is Monday, August 14th. This is Jenny the Quilter. I have a couple of prayer requests today. First of all, a young man requested prayer for a family yesterday morning in church. They have a three year old daughter named Amelia, who is battling Leukemia. And the doctors have given this little girl a short time to live. My devotional this morning discussed how often do we come to God asking for something big? I want you all to join me in asking for something big. Father God, please return Amelia to good health. Secondly, sadly, a young man who grew up in my community was found dead in his home. He comes from a large, loving family. And I know they are grieving terribly. Join me in praying for God to help them down this terrible road they are on. Thank you DAB family and Hardin Family for always being just a touch of a button away. Once again, this is Jenny the Quilter. Thank you for your prayers.

Good morning. Hey, DAB, DAB, DABers. This is Gift of God calling in. Today, I’m calling in because a lot of the students have returned back to school. And I want to say a special prayer and I would like for you to agree with me. Heavenly Father, we thank You right now, Father, for all the students, Lord God, from kindergarten, Lord God, to college. They have returned to school, Lord God. We ask You to put Your arms of protection around them, Lord God. Father, we ask You that no weapon formed against them should ever prosper, Lord God. Father, we ask that their minds are open to learn, Lord God. Give them the ability to understand and to comprehend everything, Lord God, that is given to them by their teachers. And Lord, we ask them to have an open mind, Lord God, to learn, Lord God. Father God, we thank You, Lord God, for the food that their about to receive, Lord God. Even in school Lord, let it be nourishment to their bodies. Lord God, even the physical activity, Lord God, in physical ed, Lord, that they will be able to do that as well, Lord God. And provide a healthy environment, Lord God. Father, we just say thank You, Lord God, for all the teachers and the staff members in the school district, Lord God, that they will be loving and caring, Lord God. Give them spiritual eyes, Lord God. Lord, let them have a mind of You, Lord God, the spirit of You in them, Lord God, as they teach our students, Lord God. Father God, if there is anything, Lord God, that is evil in that school, Lord, we ask You to remove it, Father, in the mighty name of Jesus. Touch their hearts that they would change. Father, we just say thank You, Lord God, even from the superintendent, Lord God. Father, we just thank You, Lord God.

[harishjagtani123]

5 ways to remain productive and beat procrastination – by Mr. Harish Jagtani

Most of us are aware of procrastination or the habit of deferring work at hand and have all faced it sometime or the other. We know at the back of our minds, we have some pending work, but still do things like talk to friends, scroll through messages, or watch video clips and such other things and delay the work until it is too late! The job finally never gets completed, or, even if finished, its quality gets compromised.

 

With work pending at the back of your mind, you can neither relax nor enjoy the time! It can tarnish your image as a person who is capable of completing work in time. This can further hamper your productivity along with your creativity and much more. Research shows that various kinds of factors can contribute to procrastination, which includes personality traits, emotional regulation, decision-making approaches, time perspectives and biological factors, too.

 

Tips to help you…

Identify the causes

Taking away all potential distractions will not solve your problem. So, you can start by being honest with yourself and understand how your procrastination begins social media, popcorn, cheese sandwich, Netflix? To get rid of the usual distractions, you must change your environment.

Select a place where you can get into a work mode and feel more responsible. To be focused, you can choose a quieter place like a library. Do not connect to the Internet if you do not need one and stay away from social media and other apps that may tempt you. You can allow yourself to take breaks every half an hour or so, when you can spend a few minutes to check your phone or whatever keeps you away from work.

Set up small goals

Many a time, the very thought of completing a huge task may seem distressing. Getting started may become a tall order. But breaking up the same task into smaller and realistic goals can be quite helpful. You can try to make a list of goals that can be achieved easily and with small deadlines—15-20 minutes. For instance, instead of setting a goal like ‘I’ll exercise between 11 am and 1 pm’, set up goals like ‘I’ll do 10 sit-ups, 10 pushups and walk for 10 minutes’. Take one step at a time, so that you can make steady progress and complete your work well within time. These small actions will help you complete the entire work before you even realize it. And, once you get started, you are not likely to stop very soon.

Organize jobs at hand

It is very important for you to have a detailed schedule and deadline. This is because the time you choose to complete each small step will also inspire you to keep at your work and reach the final goal with flying colors. So, select your daily weekly and monthly goals according to priority on the list of your work goals. As you witness your progress, it will also motivate you to keep improving and, in the end, the task will be over whether it is a project work at office, or repair work at home.

Try to be focused

One good way to overcome procrastination is to focus on some of the easier tasks at hand which you can finish first. Also, make sure to have the resources you require to reach your goal. If you put your mind to it, by organizing your tasks, you will be able to identify the ones that are easy to finish. With this, you will start to build your confidence and gain some momentum.

Keep out distractions

Your work desk or study environment may not be helping you to deal with your procrastination. Distractions can easily disrupt your progress, whether it is having your phone nearby or having the TV on in the background. These can add to your stress levels and worsen your procrastination. So, if you are finding it difficult to focus and be productive, allow yourself to do whatever you are doing with a purpose and try to find out how significant it is for you.

About the Author

Mr. Harish Jagtani, a philanthropist, visionary, businessman of Indian origin, currently based in Democratic Republic of Congo for more than 20 years now, is one of the most reputed business owners in the Indian diaspora as well as the entire expat business community in DRC. The business house caters to multiple domains, including but not limited to Domestic as well as International Air Cargo, real Estate and infrastructure development, healthcare, hospitality as well as CSR.

Coming from humble beginnings from Jaipur, Rajasthan, Mr. Harish Jagtani has come a long way in building this conglomerate with a strong and clear vision, sheer dedication and grit. Starting with a small job in sales, Mr. Harish Jagtani today is a proud and righteous owner of a fleet of airplanes and multiple businesses that cater to the basic and advanced needs of the people of Dem. Rep. of Congo in different sectors.