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#i should probably go to sleep bc i have online classes tomorrow morning but like. i have better shit to do rn
southern--downpour · 4 years
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why.....is it so fucking hot in my room....its not even fucking hot outside, why the hell is my room just a goddamn oven 24/7 >:/
#i mean. it would probably help if i opened my door but i am Not Doing That#it so fuckin hot in here i feel like im dying and im not even wearing a hoodie or anythin#im in fucking shorts and a tshirt#w h y#my room is a microwave and i am a hot pocket#can you tell im kinda tired lmao#i chugged a monster a little bit ago and i think im starting to crash lol#i should probably go to sleep bc i have online classes tomorrow morning but like. i have better shit to do rn#shut up virgil#also mostly unrelated but despite it's super pretty can mango loco flavored monster tastes kinda gross to me#i mean. to most people all mosnter tastes gross but i happen to like the taste of it for whatever reason#mango doesnt taste all that good to me#which is a shame because it's can is SO FUCKING PRETTY#YELLOW-ORANGE PLUS CYAN IS A GODTIER COLOR COMBO + SUGAR SKULLS? PERFECTION#sadly it kinda tastes like ass so probably not getting it again lmao :/#khaos is the best flavor aside from the default dont @ me lol#one more energy drink Hot Take for tonight before i leave rockstars taste like trash id rather not ever drink one again#they just suck#i dont give a shit they dont taste good at all#and bangs are like. on the line because of how sugary they taste#however they are sugar free which is bullshit because i drink this shit FOR the sugar#redbulls are the baseline for good energy drinks#and monsters are my favorite#god i need to stop talking about energy drinks that're gonna kill me one day and sleep huh#( i dont drink them all that often though just whenever i can i have SOME self control lmao)#( i need to never get packs of them though since i will chug them all in a DAY If left unchecked )#anyways im gonna shut the hell up now lmao
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ificanthaveu · 5 years
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Work Too Much || Shawn Mendes
Description: You’re working 2 jobs and going to school. Shawn tries to fix it in the wrong way.
A/N: Hello, this is my real life right now, so I wrote it into a story bc what else is new :) that and inspo from Summer On You by PRETTYMUCH and (obviously) Work Too Much by Julia Michaels
Word Count: 3.2k
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You glanced at the clock after what felt like over an hour. You hung your head when you realized it had only been ten minutes. Closing on a Sunday was everyone’s worst nightmare which is why you got stuck with it. [Y/N] will take any shift. She’ll just do it. Every. Single. Week.
After what felt like forever, 7:00 hit, and you quickly closed the register down before moving on to the pile of dishes by the sink in the back. You’d be lucky if you got out of there by 9:00. The dishes were gone through as quickly as possible, and then the counters were wiped down. The cafe was swept and mopped and every shelf was dusted.
You glanced at the clock as you wiped up the last crumbs on the last table. 8:30. Not bad. You quickly clocked out and grabbed your bag, jogging to your bike parked in the back.
The sun was almost down as you biked to your apartment just under a mile away. Your bike was thrown in the shared garage, and you unlocked your ground level door and trudged inside. You glanced down at your phone for the first time since before your shift started at noon. One missed call and four messages from Shawn.
Leaving for the airport. Can’t wait to see you, my love.
Security is taking fucking forever, won’t be surprised if I miss my flight.
I didn’t miss it! It just got delayed! Neat!
I’ll be lucky if I get there by midnight. I’m so sorry.
You sighed as you read through them before pressing your phone to your ear to listen to the voicemail.
“Hey, hun. I know you’re probably still at work. I would’ve just called your work number, but you yelled at me last time I did that,” he said. You let out a laugh before continuing to listen.
“Anyways, my flight was delayed. I should be leaving within the hour and hopefully be with you by midnight,” he paused, and you could hear a voice over a loudspeaker in the background.
“Yeah, probably midnight,” he sighed, and you could just tell he was running his hand over his face. “I love you, baby girl. I’ll see you soon.”
With that, you set your phone down on the counter and rested your head on the cabinet in front of you. You took a deep breath before glancing at the clock ahead of you. 8:50. Three hours until Shawn would be here.
You trudged to your bedroom and grabbed your backpack before slamming it on the table and pulling out your homework due tomorrow morning. Luckily, your roommate was visiting her parents for the week which was why Shawn was coming in the first place. Time alone was rare when you both were so damn busy.
You pulled out your Economics study guide and started researching the questions.
Your mind wandered off within ten minutes as you thought about your current situation. You were in school full time, year-round and working two jobs, being a manager at one of those. You were lucky if you got to bed by midnight before waking up around 6:00 for class most mornings. You thought about dropping out multiple times, but you knew you’d never actually do it. This was hell, but it was temporary. This would all be done, and you’d be working a full-time job in less than a year. You watched everyone else at your school party every weekend and not work at all. You wished it could be that easy for you, but it just wasn’t. It also didn’t help that you were dating Shawn.
He begged you to visit him just about every other week which simply wasn’t at all possible. In the almost year you had been together, you’d flown out to visit him once. And it was a Christmas present from him you denied multiple times before he forced you to take it. He’d come to visit you as often as he could, but that wasn’t easy either.
You eventually lulled yourself to sleep on the kitchen table until your phone rang making you shoot up and reach for it.
“Hello,” you grumbled without looking to see who it was.
You heard a laugh before the voice said, “Did you really fall asleep?”
“Yeah, I’ve been up since 5:00. I’m so sorry,” you said as you shut your laptop and set it aside.
“I’m outside by the way,” he said as you heard the light knocking coming from your front door. You left your phone on the table as you ran to the door and swung it open. He could barely say a word before you jumped into his arms. He held you up with one arm as he set his bag down with the other, eventually wrapping both arms around you and holding you close. You hid your head in his neck, and your legs wrapped around his waist.
“I missed you,” you mumbled. He ran his hand up and down your back before squeezing you tightly once more and setting you down. He ran his hand lightly up and down your arm and admired you for a moment before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips.
You savored the moment as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you. You pulled away for a moment to let him inside and close the door behind him before he wrapped his arms around you once more.
“Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted,” he mumbled into your hair. You started to nod before remembering your unfinished homework on the table.
“I have an Economics worksheet due tomorrow morning,” you said as you scrunched up your face in disgust. Shawn sighed and threw his head back dramatically.
“You work too hard,” he said as he gave you a look and made his way into the kitchen.
“I just have a few questions left. It’ll take me a half an hour, tops,” you explained to him.
“I can sit with you?” He asked. You looked at his tired eyes, and as much as you wanted to say yes, you didn’t.
“Go to bed. I’ll be there soon,” you said as you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before sitting back down at the table and getting back to work. He stood there for a moment and watched you before leaning down and looking at what you were studying, one hand on the back of your chair and the other next to your laptop.
“Production-possibility frontier? Riveting,” he said in a monotone voice as he squinted and tried to read what you were typing into your laptop. You turned and looked up at him.
“Go to bed, bub,” you said. He sighed and kissed the top of your head before turning to go into your room.
“If you’re not in bed in a half an hour, I’m coming to get you,” he said as he leaned out of the doorway. You rolled your eyes at him.
“Like you’ll even be awake,” you said as you turned back towards your homework.
“Ouch,” you heard from inside your room. You shook your head slightly as you went back to your homework.
A half an hour later, you finally submitted the work and packed up your things for tomorrow’s class. As if on cue, Shawn leaned out of your room. He was half asleep, his curls that definitely needed a cut were messed up, and his eyes were half shut.
“Are you coming?” He mumbled as he squinted at the light. You set down your backpack by the door and walked towards him. You gently pushed his chest back into your room, and he made his way back into the bed and waited for you to join him.
You undressed and threw on his shirt that was on the foot of your bed. He pulled back the covers for you, and you gladly climbed in, making your way into his arms.
You both sighed at the same time as you both were finally comfortable with your head on Shawn’s chest and his arm around your waist.
“You know, I’m serious when I say you work too hard,” he mumbled above you. You moved so your chin rested on his chest, and you looked up at him.
“So do you,” you said back. He rolled his eyes at you and tried to hide the smile threatening the corners of his mouth.
“But you don’t have to.”
“Neither do you.”
“I’m not getting anywhere with this, am I?”
“Nope.”
He finally gave up as you both fell asleep.
The distant ringing of your phone slowly pulled you out of sleep. You rolled over and reached for it, but it wasn’t on the side table where it would usually be. You groaned as you got out of bed to find where you left your phone last night.
You found it on the kitchen underneath your Economics notebook, and you quickly silenced it before checking the time.
6:30. Great.
You trudged your way to the shower, almost falling asleep multiple times. You got out after probably ten minutes and threw on your robe, making your way back to your room where Shawn was still sound asleep.
You quickly got dressed and threw your hair up before looking over at Shawn. His arm was holding the pillow close to him as his head was buried in it and one leg was hanging off the bed. You smiled softly at him before pressing a kiss to his head and making your way out the door.
An 8:00 am Economics class was probably the worst decision you’d ever made. Of course, there really wasn’t any other option since it wasn’t offered online like your other summer class, and the night class would’ve gotten in the way of your work schedule. So you dragged yourself here every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and forced yourself to stay awake.
As your professor went over the homework from last night, you pulled up your student account on your laptop and stared at the bar showing your degree progression, hoping for some reason that it would just leap to 100%, and you’d be done with all of this. Sure, you could skip the summer classes and J terms and graduate in 4 years like everyone else, but ever since your advisor told you there was a possibility of 3 years, you couldn’t get it out of your head. So, you’d take the late nights and early mornings if it meant saving a few thousand dollars later on.
A text from Shawn popped up on your screen and pulled you out of your trance.
Did you really ditch me???
You shook your head slowly before typing out your reply. Of course, he forgot your schedule.
In class, be home in an hour.
Want me to pick up breakfast? Coffee from the cafe down the street?
You smiled at his message and stared at it for a moment longer. He knew your small college town pretty well after visiting here numerous times in the past year. He knew how much you loved the coffee from that cafe, even if you couldn’t afford it most weeks.
That sounds perfect.
He sent a heart back, and you exited out of the messages and focused back on your professor with a newfound surge of energy.
Class let out a few minutes early, and you began the short walk back home. The door was unlocked when you got back, and you opened it to find Shawn taking your breakfast out of the to-go bag.
“Good morning,” you said as you set down your backpack. He looked up at you with a smile and walked over to you with your iced coffee in his hand.
“Your favorite,” he said with a smile before handing it to you and giving you a quick kiss.
“You’re too good to me,” you said before following him into the kitchen. He responded with a laugh and sat down across from you as you both dug into the waffles.
He asked you questions about your class, and you answered them between bites and sips.
“Do you work at all today?” He asked. You shrugged your shoulders and swallowed.
“Not really. I just have a managerial meeting at the mall at 2. It shouldn’t take more than an hour,” you said simply as you picked at what was left of your food.
Shawn just stared at you before you looked up and met his eyes.
“I don’t know how you do it,” he said. You shrugged your shoulders and took another drink of your coffee.
“Don’t really have another choice,” you said.
“Yes, you do, [Y/N],” he said with that same voice he always said it in. You calmly set your fork down and took a deep breath.
“We’re not having this conversation again,” you said, shutting it down before it could get started, but you knew that wouldn’t work. It never did.
“At least quit one job.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because then I won’t make rent or my tuition payment, so if I quit a job, then I’m either homeless or I drop out of school.”
“Not if I pay your rent.”
You tried to calm yourself down and not let yourself get mad over this again. You’d had this fight a time too many, and you were sick of it.
“Like I’ve said before, no. I’m not going to let you just pay my way for me.”
“Why not?”
“I shouldn’t have to explain why. You should just respect that I want to do it on my own,” you explained.
Shawn rested his head in his hands and ran his hands through his hair, tugging on the ends and getting more frustrated.
“You’re working yourself thin, and soon you’ll have nothing left and you won’t be able to take it anymore. You’re constantly on the verge of a breakdown, you haven’t slept a decent night’s sleep in months, you haven’t had a full day off since Easter, and you never get to visit me. I’m not asking you to let me pay for everything. I’m asking you to let me pay for one damn thing, [Y/N]. I’m just trying to make this easier on you because it kills me seeing you like this all the time,” he said as soft as he could muster up, but you could still hear the anger laced in his voice.
“Thank you for caring about me like this. I love that you want to do this, and the thought alone is enough for me to see how much you care about me. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still going to do this on my own,” you explained for what felt like the thousandth time.
“I don’t know what else I can do anymore. I can’t keep uprooting myself once or twice a month to come see you because you can’t get time off to see me,” he said as he stared down at his empty plate.
Your heart dropped to your stomach. As many times as you’d had this fight, this was the first time he said that.
“What?” You asked as the anger built up inside of you. Before he could even answer, you spoke up again. “Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum? Either quit the job or this is done? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like.” You could feel your heart speed up as it took everything in you to not start yelling.
“Well…” he started but trailed off, not really knowing what to say. “I just want to help you.”
“I don’t need help,” you snapped. “Why can’t you just support me like I support you without questioning it? I’ve never once told you to skip an interview or a photoshoot to come see me. I’d never ask you to quit doing these things you love just because I want to see you. I love my job at the mall. Being a manager there is going to look incredible on my resume once I graduate. The coffee shop is hard, but my coworkers there are my best friends, and they’re extremely flexible with my schedule. This is temporary. I graduate in ten months, and it’ll get easier. But I’m not abandoning any of this until I have finished it. You’re asking me to quit a job now, and if I do that, how long will it be until you ask me to quit the other or drop out of school or give up my full-time job in the future? You can leave me, but my degree can’t. And I’m not going to be some trophy girlfriend who follows you around. I’ve never been that kind of person, and you know that, so why do you keep asking?”
Shawn didn’t say anything. You waited a moment before turning around and going into your room, slamming the door behind you. You laid back on your bed and stared at the ceiling as you tried to control your breathing. You could hear Shawn’s chair against the kitchen floor and his footsteps come towards your room. A gentle knock sounded against your door.
“[Y/N], honey, please let me in.” His voice sounded softer, not as angry as it did minutes before.
“It’s unlocked,” you said to the ceiling. You didn’t move as he slowly opened the door and sat at the foot of your bed and stared at the wall.
“I’m not going to leave you,” he finally said.
“I know.”
“I just want you to be happy and comfortable.”
“I am happy.”
“And comfortable?”
“I’ll get there.”
He finally turned to face you as you looked up at him. He laid down on his side next to you as you faced him, doing the same.
“You’re stubborn,” he finally said. You both cracked a smile.
“So are you.”
Shawn reached across and tucked your hair behind your ear before resting his hand on your cheek and running his thumb across your cheek.
“I got off work for the VMAs, and my summer classes will be done and fall begins a week later, so I can stay with you for the whole week,” you finally said. Shawn’s face broke out into a smile, and he practically jumped on you and pinned you down on the bed as he sat on top of you.
“When were you going to tell me this?” He said, his face inches from yours.
“Over breakfast, but then you made me mad,” you said as you gave him a look. Before you could say another word he shut you up by finally kissing you. You flipped the two of you over as you straddled his waist and pulled away for a moment.
“Are you going to let me pay for your flight?” He said as he looked up at you. You narrowed your eyes at him as he pleaded with you.
“Maybe just this once.”
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taylorkinz · 7 years
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hi small life update i guess
i should totally be doing homework right now because i have so many late assignments and also i have to make up a test tomorrow morning
yeah so this semester has sucked. i got a concussion in a car wreck back in like february so i got behind in all of my classes. i start to get caught up and then the weather starts changing and i have a crazy amount of migraines and get behind again. still behind and also i had a stomach bug on friday so now i have to make up a test tomorrow. really behind. oh my god don’t get hurt or sick if you’re an engineering major
i’m finally pretty much done with senior design. i hated that class so fucking much. just. no matter what i did i couldn’t please my instructors or my project advisers. but now the final report is turned in and we just have to do two presentations and i’m fking done. 
chinese is going ok. i’m a little behind but kinda still keeping up. i got a nice compliment from my prof: i’m improving. taking a speech class in chinese was terrifying and my grades were not good at the beginning of the semester but they’ve been slowly getting higher and my prof said she can tell i’ve really been trying to work hard
on the internship front i’m pretty much sol. i’ve applied to a bunch but with companies being uncertain about policy changes bc our president is a fking idiot there just aren’t many environmental related internships rn. so it looks like i’ll probably be working somewhere part time in a service job back home over the summer. which may not be a bad thing (keep reading)
i’m graduating in december and got all of my schedule sorted out and enrolled in classes and all that. only to get an email from the microbiology department that they made a mistake and jk microbial biotechnology isn’t being offered this fall. guess what. i need that class to graduate because the other class i can take with a mmg prerequisite isn’t being offered either. so i have two choices: take the class for food science concentration peeps or beg my adviser to let me take another class as a substitute. so i found a restoration ecology class that sounds cool and my adviser is down with me taking it. except that i don’t have the ibio ecology prereq to take it. i can get that waived bc apparently there are actual perks to being in the honors college (other than scholarship ofc). but i’ll probably not do well in the course bc i won’t have the background knowledge. good news today tho. i noticed they’re offering the ibio ecology prereq online this summer. so i signed up for that and now i’m back on track. it sucks bc that’s like an extra $4k to take the extra class but at least i still get to graduate in december.
so plans for the summer. i don’t really know. i guess go home and work part time and take this online class. study for the fe exam so i can take this test and prove that maybe i can be an actual engineer one day. maybe actually get some psychiatric help after all these years. definitely sleep and try to recuperate from this hellish semester. maybe read books and watch shows that i’ve been meaning to get around to. mom said she’s cool with me taking it easy but idk about dad i feel like i’ll get scolded all summer for not doing enough
ok so back to this hw that i’ve been avoiding for like a week now. i have like 3 1/2 weeks left bye hope i make it out alive
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everyone-is-lovelyy · 6 years
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1. What are you wearing that is from your favourite clothing store? Nothing right now, I am in full PJ mode even though it’s already 1 pm bc of this fucking stomach ache that won’t let me LIVE. So I am currently in old sweats and petar’s t-shirt.
2. Do you and your boyfriend live in the same city? Yep! Now we are :)
3. Do you have any projects you could be working on? Actually I am quite free and honestly missing the workload that comes with being a student. This in-between phase after university life is odd. I suppose I could be researching language schools and calling the driving school to apply for the theory test.
4.  Do you wear underwear to sleep? Usually, depends on how my vagina feels that day haha
5. Last thing you spent over 20 euros on? Paying for my monthly yoga classes fee
6. Does your mum have nice hair? Blonde and shiny and beautiful
7. Do your teachers like you? Well I suppose uni is a bit different since there are so many students and, at least here, it’s a rare occurrence to get to know your professors that well. But the ones that I took electives with seemed to like me I think, I mean I really liked them and showed interest in their classes so that probably helped.
8. Have you ever felt like you were about to pass out, but didn’t? Indeedio, the other night when we went clubbing for example. Must have been coming down with this stomach flu now that I think of it but yeah it was sweaty inside a small space and my stomach was killing me and I hadn’t eaten much but drank rakija. I barely walked to the car.
9. What does the last text you sent say and to whom? To my frond to the ond, making plans for coffee tomorrow morning :3
10.  What does the last text you received say? From whom? Peca’s ex-roomate telling me about a job he just got in Milan!
11. Are you afraid of walking alone at night? Um sometimes, yeah. Especially if it’s after midnight. Being a woman, eh?
12. What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day? Walking micko and sitting in the park close to my house has become a nice ritual :) and reading or watching a tv show
13. Where did your last kiss take place and with whom? Peca, on the sidewalk this morning
14.  Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so? Unemployed af. I am not content at all. It’s a weird transitional phase as I said, going from being a full-time student to being on a gap year. Or rather, my life now as it is. I am looking into options to try and teach english online, here’s to hoping. But am not yet in a position where I can get a job in my field because I should do an internship first to get some work experience. So there is the hunt for a good internship as well...
15. Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos? Always, I am a talent
16. Have you ever been offered drugs but declined? Yeah
17. Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking? Of course, a lot of people. Or who have, with time, affected me so deeply that it’s altered my way of seeing or feeling about certain things.
18. Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted? Yeah
19. Tell us something weird that turns you on. Speculos cookie paste. Not no though
20. When did someone last admit romantic/sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual? Heh heh heh...well - 
21. What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? Wtf I am going to do with my life, my career, what do I even want my career to be. It’s crazy the spirals that your mind indulges in when you have a lot of free time to reflect 
22. Do you usually initiate hugs? Yep, I like hugs. Most of the people I am surrounded with do too so yay
23. Can you roll your own cigarettes? Yes but rather poorly haha it’s been a while
24. Do you have any tattoos? Do you want any/more? Yep! And yeah I do, I am looking into that rn :)
25. Are you mentally strong? It’s a constant work in progress but I’d say I am, yes
26. Are you physically strong? I’m there-ish. Yoga is starting to help and it’s a wonderful feeling honestly, I can’t wait to progress. And I am so excited to start running regularly too!
27. Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now. I wish I could know what the fuck I want. 
28. What do you usually eat for breakfast? Depends! Lately, greek yoghurt with a spoonful of sugar. Or a banana with peanut butter. OR a sandwich
29. Does any part of your body ache right now? My legs and the sides of my waist from training yesterday. And MY TUMMERS :(
30. Are you planning on doing anything new to your hair? Just planning to cut it again soon and do my annual highlight/dye routine. It’s been a while!
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