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#i should have 4 flatmates
wayward-wren · 7 months
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Having very normal thoughts about Shawn Hunter and the Matthews family tonight
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toastsnaffler · 10 months
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man i wish cinemas would do more subtitled screenings instead of just like. once per month early on a weekday and only for their most popular films lmao.
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crowleyaj · 1 year
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bad news: in the course of the last two weeks, flatmate went from slightly annoying, messy and irresponsible to an outright arsehole, especially at work
good news: I might be moving into a single flat very soon, possibly this weekend!!
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scarletblob · 2 months
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Things that happened today: (1) Got a thank-you note from my managers at work, which was sweet. (2) Found my lost debit card in the entrance of my apartment building, but after I'd already ordered a replacement (at least it was free). (3) Was told over text message by my flatmate that the apartment smelled suffocatingly terrible and was asked to clean up anything rotten in my room, but failed to either smell anything or find any potential source of smells in my room, so now I just feel very awkward because I don't know if it's my fault. (4) Realised right now (2 hours and 40 minutes after my shift ended) that I forgot to check something important at work. Hopefully I didn't screw it up because I already did that once before and it was bad.
Edit: (5) Realised right now (3 hours and 20 minutes after my shift ended) that I apparently also forgot to clock out at work, even though I seem to remember doing so. Maybe I am losing my mind... (Or maybe a few unfortunate and inconvenient things just happened on the same day by chance. But it's obviously the universe conspiring against me to make me miserable /s)
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harrysarchive · 20 days
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if only you knew, bunny: h.s.
pairing:
dormmate!harry x dormmate!y/n
summary:
"sorry! sorry i thought you were staying out with your mom the rest of the weekend!" harry says, rustling is heard in the background before im gentle moved to over and the door is heard opening. "you can open your eyes bunny."
warnings:
TW⚠️ body shaming
unhealthy relationship with y/n's mom (body shaming, controlling mom, just a shitty mom overall) also really short sorry i just wanted to tease these two
A/N: guys the way this has been in my drafts for about 4 months LMFAO lmk if you would want more dormmate!harry x y/n!
part two
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y/n's pov
The smell of peppermint vanilla carries along with the scent of books, soft chatter from the tv carries out in the small dorm, i glance over at the empty bed and a frown tugs at my lips.
"guess im on my own." i huff closing my book and tossing it to the side.
as i pick up my phone a knock makes me still, i glance at the door before walking over to it and slowly opening the door. my eyes catch sight of a lovely shade of green staring back at me.
"um sorry," he clears his throat, "my names Harry, and i think we're flatmates."
my eyes widen at what he says before my eyebrows furrow, "um im y/n, i didnt think i had a dorm mate."
"yeah 'm sorry about that i was in england for the past month, so i couldnt do all the orientation." he shuffles his bags and i snap out of it before throwing the door open.
"apologies, um i didnt think they did unisex dorms here."
"i wasnt expecting this either this is um C36 right?"
"yeah yeah you're right, well welcome to your dorm Harry..." i trail off not knowing his last name hoping he'd fill in the blank.
"styles!" he smirks holding out his hand and I place my hand in his giving it a shake.
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"oh my god! harry!" i squeak covering my eyes as i step into our shared dorm, a topless girl perked up on his bed.
"sorry! sorry i thought you were staying out with your mom the rest of the weekend!" harry says, rustling is heard in the background before im gentle moved to over and the door is heard opening. "you can open your eyes bunny."
i peak through my fingers and find our room empty, just the two of us. "i would've left har, you could've asked you know i dont mind." i mumble dropping my bags on my bed.
"nonsense i would rather spend time with you bun, though uh -if you dont mind me asking- why are you back so early?" he asked sitting us on my bed, i sit crisscross in front of him before tears start welding up in my eyes.
"god that woman is so fucking cruel to me har." i gasp out a sob as tears fall freely down my face.
"whoa bunny breathe for me." harry hums pulling me into his arms, broken sobs hiccup through me as i weep like a baby into harry.
"i do everything she wants, im trying to appease her and nothing is ever good enough it's either 'you look too chubby', 'you're face looks dull, use more moisturiser.' 'are you working out?' i'm sick of it!" i hiccup, "as soon as i got there she just starts listening all the things i embarrass her with. 'no daughter of mine should be in college, i got a nice boy down the street who comes with money and would love to be with you if you lost a couple of pounds.' i dont want that har, i've studied my whole life to be here. i want to be a librarian, have my own little bookstore that is where my happiness is and im not going to let her drag me down." i finish my rants tears and snot running down my face and into my hands.
harry stays quite for a little bit, rocking us slowly back and forth, i feel his lips press against my head before he lifts my head to look at him. he wipes away my tears before smiling lightly.
"you're a fighter, bunny. im proud of you, for not letting this woman take control of your life. for being your own goddamn person." he whispered to me before yanking me into a hug and tickling my sides, a laugh erupts from me before i start thrashing in his arms
"harry! stop!" i laugh before he lays on top of my the air literally being knocked out of me, "oof! you fat ass get off of me!"
"gasp! how dare you!" he gives me a cheeky smile before rolling off of me. "want to go get fro yo? on me obviously."
"ugh!" i fake displeasure rolling my eyes, "only because you want some and are paying sure."
harrys pov
i watch as y/n throws a hoodie over her head, i pull my bottom lip between my teeth looking at her legs on display, nice thick thighs and a ass that would make god sin. her face fresh with tears making her glow as bright as a star, a beautiful natural blush on her brown skin, lips plump.
a down right goddess.
"can we stop by a 7/11, momma needs some chips." she smirks pulling me out of thought as i burst into laughter.
"you're a clown!" i snort sliding on some shoes and grabbing my lanyard, i open the door for her and let her slide through, taking time watching her walk from behind before joining her.
" 'm so lonely i might take up that woman's offer with the boy down the street." she breaks the silence shoving her keys in her purse, my heart plummets.
fuck no.
"bunny you can do so much better than a man that will only want you if you lost weight." i sternly say and she snorts.
"well im waiting and theres no one in a 20 mile radius that would want me."
if only you knew bunny.
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LOVE YALL REQUEST MORE BULLSHIT!!
-all the love,
em
xo🐝
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sp1rit-realm · 8 months
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༻¨*:· 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐓 ·:*¨༺
༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ you hate remus lupin, and he hates you. what happens when you get stuck in a lift together?
༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 hour four!!!!! this one is angsty, folks! strap in! 𖦹 enemies to ?? 𖦹 forced proximity 𖦹 fem!reader 𖦹 remus has chronic pain 𖦹 i did not proofread this bc i'm lazy ⎝(ˊᗜˋ)⎠ 𖦹 again, thank you so, so much for the love on this series!!!!
༻¨*:· word count ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 1k
prologue / hour 3 << pt. 5 -- hour 4 >> hour 5
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For a moment, he swears he's back there. Back when everything was simple for you two.
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༻¨*:· 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝟒 ·:*¨༺
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"Right," Remus squeezes out, "I do remember that." 
"Yeah. It was a good night."
He laughs humorlessly, "I got so wasted that night. Don't remember half of it. Shit, all I remember is you and then throwing up for about an hour the morning after."
Part of you glows. He remembered you.
"Yeah, you were... fucked up that night."
'You looked so pretty that night,' He wants to say—he can't. In the back of his mind, he's intrigued by you. He wants to know you—know you the way Sirius does. Sirius knew so much about you. He knew about your dreams and your biggest accomplishments, knew of your fears and your failures. And Remus Lupin, in some twisted way, was jealous of Sirius Black.
"You were in the flat that morning, weren't you?"
"Yeah, I stayed with you guys 'cos my flatmate was being a raging bitch."
He nods, "Right."
He remembers seeing you—your hair was a mess as you ate your cereal, and you waved at him with your spoon, wearing a bright smile.
"I was so happy to see you were still alive," Your face wrinkles with a smile, and you shine brighter than the sun.
'What a cute smile,' His brain taunts him.
"I was happy I was alive. Though, after hurling that much, I felt like death." He laughs.
You join him, "I bet. You looked deathly."
He smirks, "More than usual?"
You break into laughter as you remember one of your many insults thrown at him.
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
"You look like death, as per usual," You drunkenly slurred at him. Then you squint, eyes meeting his neck, "Are those fucking hickeys?" You'd messily pulled at his collar, "They are! Wow! Remus Lupin, everybody!" You hollered in the crowded bar, "Absolute man whore!"
He stared at you vindictively, "Oh, shut up!" He had yelled.
The rest of the night was a blur. You remember arguing with him more, and Sirius had intervened at one point. You were yelling profanities at Remus as Sirius dragged you away.
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
You sigh, "That was a horrible night."
"Your makeup was all smudged."
You snort, "I was making out with some douche."
"And I was the man whore."
You fall into fits of laughter; he soon joins you, "That was a horrid night. I went home with this guy and..." He rubs his hands over his face, "Ugh. He was just a shitbag."
You frown, "Sorry. That sucks."
"Eh," he shrugs, "It's whatever."
You're both silent for a moment, basking in the feeling of... not hating one another.
Remus leans against the wall and sinks into a seated position, "I'm really fucking tired."
He sounds exhausted, and you would say you're not sure where it's coming from, but the reality is, you've been stuck in this elevator with him for four hours, and it's tiring. You collapse next to him. Your knees touch, and it sends sparks up your thigh and through your ribcage, settling in your heart.
"And my joints hurt," He adds.
You gawp for a second, and then you nod, "Right. I forgot."
His movement is sharp as he jerks his head in your direction, "What?" He snaps.
"Hm? Are we back to hating each other?"
"You forgot about what?"
You cock your head, confused, "You have chronic pain. No?"
"I—" Remus is torn. Should he tell you? There's the chance you'll make fun of him for it, but then it hits him that you already know. You know he's chronically ill, and you haven't said anything about it, "Yeah. I have to use a cane sometimes."
"Mhm," You nod, "You've got that one with all the stickers on it."
"I've had that one for years—got it in our fifth year as a present from... everyone," He smiles, and it's so warm that you feel yourself melting into him.
You're both quiet for what feels like hours. It was about two minutes.
"You know, after that night, I always wondered what was wrong with me." You say quietly.
"What?"
"I mean..." Your tone is soft and laced with hurt, "Why don't you like me, Remus? Tell me, full stop."
He shakes his head, "I don't think you want to know."
"I do!" You insist, "I really want to know."
He throws his arms up, "Why the fuck do you care?!"
You're taken aback. It's not the first time Remus has yelled at you, but it somehow hurts the same as it did the first time. This damn lift was making you go crazy.
"Because!" You scream back, "Because I want you to like me!"
"But why?" He groans.
"Because— because I don't think you're all that bad. I see the way you interact with our friends. You're so kind with them. Why am I the exception? What is so wrong with me?"
Remus sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, "You're full of yourself. That's why."
"Bullshit!" You yell, "That's complete and utter bullshit, Remus. And we both know it." 
He rolls his eyes, "See? It's this kind of shit. You wanted to know, so I told you. Now you're complaining like a baby. Honestly, I'm not even sure why my friends put up with you."
Insecurity floods your body, filling up every crack and crevice of your being. 
'My friends.' His—not yours, not ours, his.
It hits you hard, and you go silent. You always felt like an outsider in their group—they'd all known each other since they were kids, and you suddenly appear with Sirius, and they all think you're his latest feat. But you keep coming around, and you've convinced yourself they hate you—that they hate you, and Remus is the only one to actually say something.
"Honestly," he continues, "I'm pretty sure they only put up with you because of Sirius. He'd raved about you. Saying you're talented, intelligent, funny. What a fucking shame that none of it was true."
He's not thinking straight, and he doesn't even realize he's said something so insulting and hurtful until your chest sinks in, and your face contorts into an expression of pain. He's cut you open and, not even a second later, has rubbed salt into the wound.
"Shit— That's not—" He struggles out.
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GUYS IM SORRY (lying)
lmk if u wanna b tagged!
@queerpumpkinnn @ay0nha @knaveism @whennyxfallsinlove @freezing-my-brain @starlit-epiphany @inkluvs @t3rritorial-piss1ngs @starsval @little-snow @bubybubsters @zvdvdlvr @venzami-burst @rosalyn-s @ttulipwritezz @fate-posts @sparky--bunny @severegiantjudgefriend @secretdazeobservation @violetteshoneybee
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blairrwaldorfs · 2 months
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Is It Over Now?
Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: Fake dating your flatmate, Joe, should be a simple thing. It meant you get to help get his ex back, and it meant you get to stop your parents' nagging about bringing someone home for once. But what happens when fake dating turns into something unexpected? Now, what?
Author's Note: Part 4! Bare with me I will be uploading my past short stories at the same time too! By the way, if you all want to be tagged in my fics, please let me know!
Disclaimer: 18+
Wordcount: 5.1K
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part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten
“So, when are you going to tell me that you’re dating your flatmate?” 
You choked on the waffle that you were shoving in your mouth as soon as Sara asked you that question. 
Now, wait a minute, how the hell did she know about that?!
You gazed up at her with wide eyes and mouth full like your deepest, darkest secret had just come to light. You swallowed the food that was in your mouth and chugged on your water. It wasn’t like thinking about kissing Joe for the last few weeks wasn’t bad enough. Now, Sara knew about this? 
Abby shook her head, chuckling. “Way to ease into the subject, babe.” 
“I thought you don’t have social media? How do you know about that?” You asked, brows all furrowed. 
“Abby has Instagram, and we saw the candid pictures.” 
God, this was embarrassing. 
A month and a half.
You were doing well keeping this embarrassing secret for a month and a half. You weren’t planning to tell Sara about this until you were ready but of course, the internet had to tell her first. You should have seen it coming. You were fake dating an actor after all, so why were you so surprised about it at the same time? It wasn’t like you didn’t see other people at the corner of the pubs that you two would go to and take pictures of you. Sara and Abby were bound to find out about it. 
It wasn’t like you enjoyed it. There were so many moments that you wanted to tell Abby and Sara every time you had brunch with them for the past month and a half, but it was too embarrassing and stupid. Not that they would judge you for doing this ridiculous agreement. It was you who was embarrassed. It was you who felt like an idiot every weekend.
“C’mon…” You would take Joe’s hand and drag him in the dark corner of the pub. “Is she looking?”
Joe would look over his shoulder, discreet enough where Ivy wouldn’t notice and look back at you, nodding his head. You would take his hand and slowly slide it on your bum before sliding it on your hips. Joe would grip your hips and pull you close and kiss you. Kiss you like he hasn’t kissed anyone like it before, and it would make your stomach turn in a good way. You would kiss him not like the way Ivy would, and he would give you that look. 
It had been weeks that you noticed that Joe would always give you that look after you kissed him. It was like Joe’s body freezes when you kiss him, and he gave you those doe eyed eyes of his. It bothered you to the core because not only you haven’t seen that look from any man you hooked up or dated before, but it made you feel good. It sent electricity down your body, and you hated it. You hated the fact that it made you feel like that. However, that wasn't going to force you to give in, so you continued to act like his kisses meant nothing every weekend. 
Which it didn’t because this was all pretend, right?
Then, there was that one weekend where you both went bar hopping around the city because apparently, Ivy was doing the same thing with her friends. After following her on the third bar of the night, you sort of noticed how Joe looked defeated. Ivy didn’t acknowledge him at all. He looked like he was just done. 
“So, where are we going next?” You asked him.
Joe’s eyes were laser focused on Ivy, and he didn’t even hear your question. You, on the other hand, were getting bored and tired from walking from bar to bar. You settled on your seat by the bar, and you ordered yourself a drink.
“I’ll be back.” Joe murmured and walked away from you before you could even say anything. 
You looked over your shoulder and watched Joe talk to Ivy, and they made their way out of the pub. You sat there all night, while Joe spent his time with her. Then, he did the same thing again a weekend after that. You didn’t say anything nor questioned him because even if you didn’t see him for most of the night, you knew what he was doing. Ivy’s friends would side eye and chuckle at you as if you were the most idiotic woman in the room. As if you didn’t know that your “boyfriend” was outside by the dark alley sticking his tongue down Ivy’s throat. 
Well, fuck them because they didn’t know shit. 
You sat there and ignored them and minded your own business because this was all an act, right? They didn’t know that you weren’t actually with Joe and that you weren’t actually an idiot. 
Well, maybe being an idiot was starting to be questionable.
They didn’t know the whole truth. You knew what was happening outside in that dark alley, and you just had to play your part, so all of this could be over soon. 
But how come it still made you feel like shit?
At the end of the night, Joe would come back inside with Ivy and would ask you if you wanted to go home. You would just nod your head, give him a smile as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close. Every time you would pass by Ivy, she would give you a look as if she knew something that you didn’t. As if she won. Unfortunately for her, you knew everything. 
That went on for another weekend, however, Joe had stopped a weekend after that. Ivy had also stopped giving him attention again. You didn’t exactly know what happened between them but as another two weekends went by, you sort of noticed how Joe stopped paying attention to her. She would be there, but he never looked at her anymore. It was starting to feel strange because what was the point of it all if Joe didn’t even try anymore? 
Then, last weekend came…
It became even more strange. 
“What do you think?” Joe asked you that morning, holding up an expensive long silver silk dress. 
You were comfortably laying on the sofa, watching TV in peace when Joe blocked your view and held that dress in front of you. 
“That doesn’t look like Ivy’s style.”
“Good because it’s not for her.” Joe handed it to you. “It’s for you.”
“Oh.”
Joe smiled, handing you the dress and the silver strappy heels that came with it. You got up from your position and stared at the dress for a moment and saw the tag that said “Dior” on it. 
“So, what is this for?” You asked. 
“I have to go to a Dior event, and Ivy is part of the event too.” Joe explained.
That all made sense now. 
You nodded your head and thanked Joe for the dress. It was the first one he bought for you after a month and a half of fake dating him. It was part of your agreement, but you sort of were still questioning the recent events lately. Why would he want—needed— you to come if he didn’t even make an effort with Ivy anymore? Was all of this over between them or were they just playing a game? 
And that goddamn look.
He needed to stop that! 
It was like every time he saw you, those chocolate button eyes would stare and not in a lustful way either. It was a different look that you couldn’t really explain. You had your hair done by a professional that night, making your long wavy brown hair fall nicely on your back, a nice silver pin on the side, giving you a slick fresh look. The silver silk dress hugged your curves nicely, and Joe stood there and stared at you the moment you walked into the event with him. The lights that flickered around the room made you sparkle even more, and it made Joe’s eyes sparkled towards you too. 
However, your eyes were somewhere else. You were there for the agreement, not something else. You found Ivy across the room and immediately slid your fingers to intertwine with Joe’s. To your surprise, Joe slid his hand away and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him and led you towards the bar to get some drinks.
For a while, you just stood there by the bar, drinking and scanning the room. Ivy was busy talking to different people, and Joe was doing the same thing. You were starting to feel a bit bored and lonely again. You didn’t know anyone in the room, and you sort of felt like you didn’t belong there. They were all in the same working industry, and you were just there. 
“Sorry.” Joe apologized, coming back to you half an hour later. “Do you mind if I introduce you to some people?”
You shrugged, not really knowing the answer to his question. Was this part of the plan too? Was he really introducing you to all his industry friends as his “girlfriend?” Was this going to make Ivy jealous? You didn’t bother saying anything as he led you towards the middle of the room. 
Throughout the night, Joe would take you around with him, introduce you to other people that were part of the event, introduce you to his industry friends and never left your side all night. Not once had he laid an eye on Ivy all night and suddenly, you didn’t know what your role was supposed to be anymore. 
“You look beautiful tonight.” Joe whispered to you as soon as his friends left to get some drinks. 
“Joe, you don’t have to pretend. Ivy isn’t even around us right now.” You murmured. 
“I’m not pretending.”
You stared at him, blinking your eyes and feeling the blood rushed to your cheeks. You never had anyone genuinely tell you that, and it felt strange for Joe to say that to you since he was supposed to be focusing on someone else. You didn’t know what to say, and he was giving you that look again. 
What the fuck was he doing? 
Joe gave you a small warm smile before his friends interrupted the both of you again. The rest of the night was spent talking with his friends and professional photographers taking pictures of the two of you. Joe would introduce you to everyone as his “girlfriend” and somehow, you didn’t know whether to feel good about it or feel uncomfortable because throughout the night, there were times where you would forget that you were actually acting. Everything was starting to surface naturally. 
 Did Joe forget too? 
Ivy left hours ago, and he still continued to pretend you were his girlfriend. You couldn’t argue because maybe it was part of it all, and you had one role and that was to just go with it and keep acting too. 
You couldn’t lie to yourself because you did have fun that night, and you actually met some new people at the party that had great conversations with you. You couldn’t deny that. 
But at the end of the night, you were ready to get your feet out of your heels because it was killing you slowly. By the time the two of you arrived back in your flat, you immediately sat on the sofa, unclasping the strap of the heels from your ankle and let out a sigh of relief. Your feet were all red, and you swore the skin at the back of your foot was peeling off. 
Joe chuckled softly, grabbing the heels from you and knelt down in front of you. For a moment, you just stared at him, trying to figure out what he was doing, then Joe wrapped his big hand around your ankle, setting your foot on his lap and started massaging it. 
“Joe.” You slid your foot away. “It’s dirty. No…”
Joe didn’t let you off this time. He set your foot back on his lap and said, “It’s fine. I’m the one who put you in those shoes, so let me do this. I at least owe you this.” 
You were about to pull your foot away again, but Joe’s soft hands had started working, and you couldn’t help but enjoy it. It made you feel so relaxed. It made your feet feel so much better. How did he learn how to be such a good masseuse? Because ohmygod, it felt really good. 
But then, you reminded yourself that this was crossing boundaries. Sure, you enjoyed tonight and Joe’s attention towards you but the act was over. You were back in your flat, and you didn’t have to pretend anymore. The thought of Joe touching and being sweet to you started making you cringe again. 
You cleared your throat and pulled your foot away, getting up from the sofa. 
“Thanks for tonight.” You said. “But I’m exhausted, so goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” Joe nodded his head, disappointment lingering in his eyes. 
That was it. 
That was how the night ended, and you were fine with it. That night, you both had crossed boundaries way too many times, and you kept wondering as to why Joe was fine with it because he was the one who wanted to get Ivy back, remember? So where was she now? Why was she not falling for this? Why was Joe okay with all of this all of a sudden? Why was he not complaining like before? 
“He’s falling for you.” Abby chuckled softly, snapping you back to reality. 
Your eyes widened at your friends, “What?! No.” 
No way!
No way Joe felt that way… right?
“Oh, yes he is. Tell her, babe.” Abby nudged Sara softly on her arm.
“Sara?” 
You snapped your head at Sara, raising your brows and looking at her with wide eyes. Sara opened her mouth but no words slipped out. You could see it all over her face that she was trying to find the right words to answer you. When she finally did, it wasn’t an answer to your question.
“Are you sure you want to keep this up?” She asked.
“What do you mean?” You knitted your brows. “I sort of have to because he’s coming with me to my mum’s birthday dinner tonight.”
You watched as Abby and Sara exchanged hesitant looks, and your mind started questioning if it really was worth continuing this because your gut feeling was starting to tell you it was starting to be something else. 
“We just don’t want you getting hurt.” Abby added. 
“I won’t.” You said that with too much confidence. “This is all just an act, remember? It’s not real.”
You watched as Sara took a sip of her tea and didn’t say anything for a whole minute, but you knew that look she was giving you. You have known Sara long enough that it was the “are you sure this was a good idea?” look. Like she knew this wasn’t going to end well if you kept this up. 
“Just… Just think about it.” Sara’s worried hazel eyes stared at you. 
Your little conversation with Sara and Abby got you overthinking again as you walked back to your flat. You had to continue this act tonight and this time, it would be at your parents’ house. It was the first time they would be meeting Joe, and you were dreading it because you knew how they both act around other people. They had no shame to fight nor say something brutal. 
“Are you alright?” Joe asked you as you both walked out of the flat that night. 
“Yeah,” You paused and turned to Joe as he opened the passenger door for you. “Listen, I just want to apologize in advance whatever my mum and dad will say to you. They tend to be brutal and have no filter.”
“Hey,” Joe set a hand on your arm to comfort you, but it made you wince from his touch. 
Even if Joe had touched you or kissed you many times, you still tend to be taken aback whenever the two of you weren’t pretending in front of everyone. You were still you. You still weren't affectionate nor liked it when someone touched you.
“Sorry.” Joe slid his hand away. 
He was also starting to get used to that part of you. 
“But don’t worry, okay?” Joe gave you a reassuring smile. “I’m going to make sure that your mum will stop annoying you about this.”
“Thanks.” You gave him a small smile before sliding yourself inside the car. 
On the way to your parents’ house, the car filled with comfortable silence but inside your mind, you were dreading to visit your parents. You promised yourself you wouldn’t come back until the big holidays, but your mum insisted on you coming back home for her birthday. You technically haven’t told them that you have a “boyfriend.” All you said on the phone was that you were bringing someone, so she wouldn’t be too surprised and scold you for not giving her a heads up that she needed to prepare an extra plate. 
You could literally feel your shoulders getting tensed again as Joe pulled up to the driveway. It started to drizzle the moment you stepped out of Joe’s car as you played with your fingers nervously. You and Joe walked up to the front door, and your mum must have heard the car pull up because she immediately swung the door open before you could even knock.
“Oh!” A big smile plastered on her face, her eyes only at Joe. “You didn’t tell me your guest was so handsome.”
“Mum, this is Joe.” You introduced them together, a frown slowly creeping up on your face.
“Happy Birthday.” Joe greeted her, handing her a gift bag. 
Where did that gift bag came from?
You were too occupied inside your mind that you didn’t even realize Joe had been holding it this whole time. You furrowed your brows at him, not expecting him to bring a gift to your mum but at the same time, you sort of felt touched. You couldn’t help but think about how Joe actually took time to pick out something for your mum. Someone he never even met before. He didn’t even have to do all of this since you both were just pretending, but he did. You saw how Joe was a gentleman towards her, and you could already tell your mum loved him. 
If only she knew the truth. 
It didn’t take long for the rest of the herd to arrive behind your mum as you introduced your dad and brother to Joe. Entering your house, your dad and brother immediately dragged Joe in the living room as your mum asked you to help her out in the kitchen. 
“Happy Birthday, mum.” You gave her a kiss on the cheek and handed her your gift.
“Thanks, darling.” She smiled. “You didn’t have to get me anything. I told you to save your money.”
“It’s nothing. It’s just something small.” You shrugged.
You watched as your mum’s eyes shifted towards Joe in the living room and then back at you. “Is that… Joe? Your flatmate?”
You nodded your head, ready for her to start listing all the things that were wrong about dating your flatmate even if she had suggested it to you in the first place. 
“I’m glad you finally listened.” She looked down at the salad she was making, pouring the dressing on it. “It seems like he’s handsome and has a good career.”
“He’s an actor.” You answered.
“Oh?” Your mum looked up to you, her brow raised and her eyes widened. “Anything I have seen him in?”
You shrugged. “Probably not.” 
The both of you were interrupted by the laughter that erupted from the living room. You saw how the three men enjoyed their conversation together as they watched sports on the television. You noticed how Joe was trying his best to impress your dad and brother. You wonder if all of this was still an act because the more you watched them, the more you could see the real Joe surfacing in all of their conversations. It was the Joe you knew before this whole thing happened. The Joe you would spend Saturday nights with, watching movies and eating pizza.
When the five of you sat down for dinner later that night, you quietly sat and ate your food as they all talked about sports, and your brother asking Joe about interesting things that happens on set whenever he films. Every single question that your family asked him, they seemed to be impressed by every answer that Joe would give. 
Maybe Joe was right.
He really was going to put on a hell of a show for them. 
Although, as minutes passed, you started to feel guilty for lying in front of your family. Were you that desperate for them to feel proud of you that you had this whole thing set up? That you actually brought a fake boyfriend for them to meet, so they could leave you alone for once? It made you feel sick to your stomach, and you just wanted the dinner to be over. You just wanted the whole night to be over. 
“You know you are the first man that she brought home.” Your mum mentioned to Joe, making you glare at her.
“Mum.” You uttered. 
“I’ve always told her to stop being so stiff and go out there and find someone.” Your mum continued. “All she cares about is her career.”
Joe watched as you slowly slid down your seat. A small smile tugged on his face as he set a hand over yours under the table. 
“There’s nothing wrong with that.” Joe replied. “I think it’s amazing that she could go out there every day and be in front of hazardous chemicals for experiments, so that the world could have a cure for certain diseases.”
Your eyes slowly shifted at Joe as he continued to compliment you, his hand squeezing yours gently. This time, you didn’t cringe nor wince over his touch. He was genuine at every word that he was saying. Every compliment he would say, it made your brother smile at you, and it made your mum finally shut her mouth. 
“I think she could do both, especially since she’s almost 30.” Your mum finally found another excuse after a few minutes. 
You bit your lower lip and ate your salad and didn’t bother talking for the rest of the night. Joe could see how tense you were and even holding your hand, he could feel your freezing cold hands shaking. As your dad and brother continued to make conversations with Joe in the living room after dinner, you made your way upstairs to your room to get some peace and quiet for a moment. 
Looking out the window, the rain started pouring hard outside as you watched the raindrops slide down the glass window. You looked around your room and thought about all the memories you had in here as a child and a teenager. Most of them were bad and some were good too. Your fingers brushed the wooden white vanity that sat in the corner of your room. Picture frames of your childhood friends that you haven’t seen in a long time since they were all out of the country now. Then, your eyes caught on the snowglobe that was sitting on top of your bookshelf. You stood on your tiptoes, grabbing it from the top shelf and smiled as you stared at it, wiping off the dust that collected over it. 
You remembered you would hide in your bedroom most of the time to avoid hearing the argument that your parents would have downstairs. You would put on your headphones, lay on your bed and stare at the ceiling. It almost became like a safe place for you to hide out from everyone in the world. You let out a sigh as you sat at the edge of your bed and looked out the window and thought about how your life would be if you weren’t so terrified at everything. If you weren’t so anxious about coming home all the time. You wondered how your childhood and teenage years would have been if your parents didn’t fight all the time.
“Knock. Knock.”
Your thoughts were interrupted as Joe stood by the doorway, knocking on the open door. 
“May I come in?” He asked.
This wasn’t your own personal space anymore. This was your personal space when you were a teenager, but she was a totally different person from who you were now. This was just a room full of memories and untouched things that were collecting dust over the years. 
“Sure.” You murmured. 
Joe sat next to you and looked down at the snowglobe that you were holding.
“Something special?” He asked, nodding his head in the direction of the snowglobe.
“Yeah,” You smiled slightly. “It was my favorite.”
You held up the snowglobe with a small blue penguin standing outside a cabin and when you shook it, snow filled the globe, and it sparkled. 
“I always thought how lucky the penguin was because it looked so peaceful in there.” You added. 
“Yeah,” Joe shrugged. “But it could be lonely too.”
Joe watched you shake the snowglobe again and part of him knew that you were comparing yourself with the penguin. How you wished you had a peaceful home life. He saw how much your mum judged you tonight and that was just during dinner. He couldn't imagine having to deal with that your whole life.
Your sudden winces from his touch, and your rules for boundaries made all sense in his head now. Everything about this house made you who you were today, and he wished he could help you heal from it, but Joe knew that you liked your distance. You liked keeping an arm’s length when it came to certain people in your life.
He couldn’t blame you. He has seen all the reasons why tonight. 
“I swear to God! You cannot do anything right around here!” Your mum yelled from downstairs. “What a great fucking birthday, innit?!”
You and Joe immediately shifted your attention towards the doorway. Your mum’s voice echoed from down the hall as your dad’s deep voice rattled the whole house.
“You know what, if you could handle it yourself, then fine! Don’t ask me for help next time!”
“That’s actually fucking great! You’re fucking useless most of the time anyway!” Your mum barked.
You couldn’t believe that they were actually fighting right now as if they didn’t have a guest inside their own home. They literally have no shame or respect at all. You got up from your bed and quickly closed the door, hanging your head low from embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry–”
You gasped softly the moment you turned around and saw Joe standing in front of you. You didn’t even finish your sentence as he looked at you with apologetic eyes and immediately pulled you in his arms. You didn’t know what to do. You stood there frozen as Joe held you and comforted you. Your body was tense due to all the anxiety that was washing over you right now. 
You never had anyone do something like this to you before. Not even your parents. If you weren’t so preoccupied by the fact that you felt so embarrassed, anxious, and stressed about your parents, you would have pushed Joe away from you. 
No one got to hold you like this. 
No one should hold you like this. 
This was not right, especially that it was Joe. But somehow, his arms slowly made your body relax, and your arms gently wrapped around his torso as you buried your face in his chest.
“It’s okay.” Joe cooed, his voice all soft. “Just let it out.” 
You kept telling yourself that you were being over dramatic as tears silently rolled down your cheeks. Both of you were silent. The only thing that you could hear was the pitter patter of the rain on the glass window as you quietly cried on his chest. Joe softly rubbed your back until you had let out every single frustration and anger. He was patient. He waited until you were okay and was ready to let go from his embrace. 
Joe planted a soft kiss in your hair and that made you sob even more. 
God, you were so pathetic.
You couldn’t even hold yourself together in front of him. The moment you finally let go of his arms, Joe looked down at you, dipping in his chin to find your eyes that were now bloodshot red. Your lips were trembling as you sniffled and used the end of your jumper sleeve to wipe your nose.
“Hey, it’s okay.” His soft voice murmured, wiping your tears away with his thumbs.
“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean–”
“No,” Joe shook his head, cupping your face with his hands. “Don’t you dare apologize for letting out your emotions.”
You nodded your head and let out a deep breath, giving him a small thank you smile. After a few minutes of gatheringg yourself together, the both of you decided to start making your way back to London. You needed to get away from there. 
You had enough of everyone. 
“Hey,” Joe gently held your hand that night when you both arrived in your flat.
He stopped you halfway towards your bedroom and immediately slid his hand away from yours, knowing exactly how much you hated it when someone touched you.
But tonight was an exception, right? 
You didn’t think you actually needed someone to hold you like that until Joe did without you asking for it. It still surprised you, but it made you feel safe and understood.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Joe asked.
You nodded your head, a small reassuring smile tugging on your lips. “I’m fine. Thank you for tonight. It seems like our plan worked.”
Joe didn’t care about the plan though. He only cared about you. 
He only cared if you were okay. 
“Of course.” Joe smiled. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
And just like that, Joe watched you walk inside your room and closed the door behind you. The same way how most of his nights end lately. His mind wondered if tonight something has shifted between the two of you. 
Taglist:
@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name 
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pumpumdemsugah · 6 months
Text
That video reminds me of when I was in uni and my very wealthy flat mate tried to convince me she's normal and said " everyone has a nanny"
Me and 3 other people gasped. The convo happened because she said " my little brother's nannies" so I yelled " NANNIES!?"
The year i Iived with these people was me realising I grew up kind of poor
When that same flat mate said she had to retake A levels business I was in so much shock I said " who fails A levels business studies? Didn't you go to private school?" I wasn't even trying to be rude I just didn't know that was mentally possible. Might have followed that up with a " why did your parents even send you to private school? They should have sent me "
Then my other flatmate showed me pictures of his 4 horses.
I don't think living with them did me any favours.
It was around this point that I started saying " I hope someone robs you "
University is a great place for working class people to realise how incredibly stupid and clueless the children of the wealthy are
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toomuchracket · 10 months
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my current brain rot ever since atpoaim is a fort date with matty!! however in my head the cute date eventually gets crashed by all the band and ends up with everyone crammed into the tiny fort.
like maybe it's at mattys house, and it's well known George just lets himself in, so he does and immediately sees the large fort in the living room and goes to investigate. he sees you and matty cuddled watching a movie in a sea of blankets and pillows so very unceremoniously flops on top of you both and the myriad of pillows. he works his way into the date somehow and is half watching the movie and half just watching you and matty being sickeningly cute and wondering if that's how him and Charli look.
about 20 mins later, there's a knock on the door, and you and matty are like??? but George just pipes up with "Oh, I invited Adam and Ross to the hangout. I hope that's okay!" and matty starts being like "this actually was a date before you barged in and-" but gets cut off by you saying its totally okay and he should go let them in. Adam feels slightly bad for barging in, but you assure him it's fine, and eventually, the 5 of you are all crammed under this fort cuddled up watching some sappy rom-com you convinced them to watch. it obviously starts with lots of complaints "ugh nooo" "whyyyy," "cmon, do we have to watch this chick flick?"" but eventually divulges into gasps at how bad the guy is and comments like "oh my god she needs to leave him" but also on the other hand they're like "well no because she fucked up too" and finally when the movie ends it is just 4 grown men trying to keep their emotions at bay after watching like enchanted or Notting hill lol
anyway sorry for rambling, domestic matty and the boys kills me off everytime
i can't believe you apologised for this omg i LOVE it!! it kinda feels like slightly older flatmate!matty and his girl to me. like say the boys are on a break from work, and matty's built this fort all cute and romantic for you guys to just chill in all cutely, and you're lazily making out in it when you hear the front door open and close and a gravelly voice go "yoohoo!"; george, bored as shit because charli's off working somewhere, coming round for some entertainment. fully creased at the image of all six foot whatever of him just flopping over you all snuggled into matty - i bet you'd be like "hi darling!" to him, genuinely happy to see him, while matty's all tetchy like "george what the FUCK" (but that's his bestie, so he lets him stay and watch, idk, lady bird (it's my fav film) or whatever with you). and the whole time, george is side-eyeing you and matty in the nicest way, thinking about himself and charli AND how you and matty used to cuddle watching films together even pre-dating but it's so lovely that you're so openly lovey-dovey in the same scenario now. and i think george had probably texted ross and adam to hang out before he came over to yours, and then when they agreed he was like "oh i'm actually at matty's" so they just rock up there; like you said, adam is guilt-stricken and very much like "oh my gosh i am so sorry for intruding i'll be on my way" - matty's like "yes that sounds like a good idea considering my girl and i were having a little DATE before you fuckers showed up" - but you're like "honestly don't worry about it. if you don't mind sitting through my movie choices you can stay". matty sighs, but is appeased when you kiss him quickly and smile sweetly at him, so it becomes the five of you all chilling on pillows in this fort watching the devil wears prada (they would fucking hate andy's boyfriend they really would). and they all complain when you say "oh my god let's watch enchanted" as you go back to the disney+ homescreen, but maybe you all share some alcohol or a joint and then they get really into the movie, gasping at the change from animation to live-action and making little comments throughout the film - i bet ross is SO bitchy about giselle's outfit for the ball lmfao. but yeah, you turn your head to look at them all as the credits roll, and try not to giggle at these huge (and matty) men either sniffling or just beaming happily at the film they just watched. and as much as you've had a nice time, matty kicks the other boys out shortly after this so he can romance you as he had planned to the whole evening (but as you hug them goodbye i think you're like "same time next week? we'll watch 27 dresses and the lizzie mcguire movie") lol <3
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king-krisu · 6 months
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Jance fic recs? 🤲🥺
AAHH YES ANON COMING RIGHT UP
I'm gonna give like 3-4 per genre so it's not so chaotic lol
Here's my previous rec list for some older fics, I'm gonna try and find new one's for this list :)
(Since it's Kinktober) Smut:
Joker Out/Käärijä Kinktober 2023 by electron_road_suspect is EASILY the best kinktober fic, and honestly my top 5 Jance fic today. Ik it says JO kinktober, and it seems to be a polycule formation fic, but it's Jance centric. It's sosososo good and I highly recommend it
I like us better when we're intertwined by Madrabit is currently only in its first chapter but it should tell you how good it is since I'm recommending it anyway. It starts off as Jan/Bojan, and the premise is Nace joining the band and both Jan AND Bojan realising they're into their new bassist. It's already AMAZING like Madrabit's fics always are, and I highly rec following along already
Day 2: Roleplay by Rising_Starship_Phoenic has Jance experimenting with roleplay, and the insanely hot mental image of Jan in a robber bandana
5. red rope by deeavjbes: Jan tying Nace up with red rope? Hell fucking yeah
Fluff:
How to Behave by OpheliaAugustaGray is SO funny, and the dynamic between the boys is so well written here. (Can you tell I love this trope) It starts with Nace joining the band, and how the boys cope with it (essentially Nace brings along some Gay Panic)
Mosquitoes by radioactive_cloud is a cute and fluffy fic with Bojan being oblivious to Jance being together, causing some confusion for him lol
In Front of My Salad? by anonymousturtol is so fucking funny with particularly Kris being harrassed by PDA Jance during a group holiday
Until the Night is Over by OpheliaAugustaGray, one more Nace joins the gang fic for good luck. This is a non-famous AU, with all of them living as flatmates and Martin moving away, hence Nace joining in. It's SO good and I cannot wait to see how it progresses
Angst:
Soothe my trembling soul by Paidatonkannut is *heartwrenching* and I can't get enough of it. Nace has a massive crush on Jan, but he feels like Jan only goes along with it on stage. But, there's clearly something more, and I can't wait to see how it ends between them
God loves you, but not enough to save you by machinedarling, did anyone order religious trauma!Jan? Because that's what it is, and it's so beautiful and will make you cry
Find us where no one knows us by fifi_hollywood is about Jance going to a Greek island on a small getaway, only for Jan to get into his head about people recognising them. Fifi is always such a genius and this is no exception 🫶🏻
Take me to church by redbastardchew is short but amazing, with some religious trauma!Nace this time 🫵🏻😀 can you tell I have a type
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Text
You Brought Your Worst and I'm Right Here - Chapter One: Prologue
Pairing: Gale of Waterdeep x female Tav
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Work Summary:
After an explosive falling out between Gale and his academic adviser, Mystra, Tav is left to pick up the pieces.
Modern/College AU.
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5…
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 790
Read on AO3.
Masterlists.
Taglist: @mrs-kai-anderson @ang3l1te @missryerye
Taglist info
Notes:
Hi guys, I can't stop playing BG3, please send help.
I'm planning on updating this fic every Monday <3
Major major warnings for grooming, suicidal ideation/suicide attempt, mental health problems
---
In retrospect, Tav should’ve seen it coming. As it was, she was woefully unprepared for what was about to become to worst day of her life.
She had spent most of her day at the university library trying to finish up a lab report, and she felt like her brain was about to drip out of her ears.
What she really needed was a pizza and a stiff drink. As soon as she’d submitted her report, she was planning on eating herself into a food coma and then sleeping for eighteen hours.
She had re-read her report three times, and every single time she’d caught more typos. Normally, she’d get Gale to check it for her before submitting but she hadn’t seen him today and she didn’t want to have to wait around for him to respond.
She really should read it over one more time. That was precisely what she was thinking as she pressed the button to upload the report to her uni portal. As soon as that was done, she relished the feeling of closing down all of the tabs that had been bothering her for hours and then logging out of the library computer.
She checked her phone to see if anyone else had responded to her message from earlier where she’d suggested they get a takeaway.
Gale still hadn’t responded, although all the rest of her flatmates had. That wasn’t all that surprising. He could be a bit of a hermit, particularly recently. He was never one to say no to pizza though. She was sure she could tempt him when she got home.
Astarion was out this evening, but her other two flatmates had seemed keen as well.
The bus home was predictably crowded. Tav squeezed herself into a corner against the wall and willed her eyes to stay open for the duration of the journey. It was raining when she stepped off the bus.
By the time she’d made it to her street, cold rivulets of water were running down from her hairline to her chin. She shivered, glad that she had opted to leave her laptop at home today because her rucksack was getting worryingly damp.
It took her three tries to get her key to turn. The lock was stiff. Their landlord had advised them to put Vaseline on it to prevent this problem. Tav thought that if the lock was stiff enough to need Vaseline, then the landlord should’ve replaced it. He didn’t agree.
Finally, mercifully, the door opened, and she stepped inside.
A movie that Tav didn’t recognise was playing on the TV. Jenevelle, affectionately nicknamed Shadowheart because of her emo tendencies, was stretched out on the sofa, fast asleep.
Shadowheart was a medical student. Tav considered her workload to be slightly insane, and it wasn’t the first time she’d come home to find her passed out on the couch. Luckily, Tav knew her order off by heart, so she didn’t have to wake her until the food arrived.
Wyll was nowhere to be seen. She supposed that maybe he wasn’t home yet. Her stomach gave a loud grumble as she hung up her coat and deposited her rucksack on the radiator to dry. She shook out her hair and made for the stairs.
Gale’s bedroom door was closed. She knocked on it gently, and when she got no response, more forcefully.
“Gale?”
She had the strangest sinking feeling in her gut. Something was wrong. There was no light coming through the crack under his door. If Gale wasn’t home, why would his door be closed? None of them ever left their door shut when they went out (except for Astarion).
Maybe he was sleeping?
“Gale?” she called, louder this time. There was still no response. She rattled the door handle, and was relieved to find that it wasn’t locked. The door opened. She hoped he wouldn’t mind her intrusion, but she could handle him being annoyed if it meant quelling her anxiety.
It was very dark. She could just about make out the shape of him on his bed.
“Gale?” Even to herself, her voice sounded strange, too loud in the quiet of his room. “Gale?”
She took a tentative step towards him. Her eyes were adjusting to the light, and that’s when she saw the empty bottle of pills, lying discarded beside his bed.
She rushed to his side, grabbing his arm, but he didn’t react at all. She shook him, but his body was limp. Even in the dark, she could see the traces of vomit around his mouth. An inhuman scream ripped through her as she continued to shake him.
Somewhere far behind her, she heard the front door close.
“SHADOWHEART!” she screamed. “JEN? JEN!”
Next Chapter
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Hey, so I have a situation going on (TW for extensive discussion of ED):
So I'm in recovery but sometimes I still relapse, especially during the fall and winter months, idk why but those are just the worst for me in terms of ED. My roommate and acquaintance knows that I've been battling ED for most of my life and before I moved in with her and other flatmates, I told everyone that I am in recovery and that I need them not to comment on my food (be it choices that seem disordered but are actually improvements to my previous situation, or idk my portion sizes for example).
Despite that, this roommate, who is currently going through an eating disorder and is in therapy for it, keeps commenting on my food. She keeps judging how much I eat, keeps asking me questions about why I eat what I eat (eg. Sometimes there are days when I just won't eat something I haven't made. I just can't. And she'll just keep asking why. It's not malicious but she doesn't take the hint when I say "well you know...due to the problems" and essentially forces me to just outright say that I can't eat it because I don't have control over it and the ingredients, which is both a frankly embarrassing thing to say and most of the time she doesn't really get it either), and sometimes says things like "Idk how you eat like that and aren't fat lol" (which usually occurs when I have like...a slice of bread with jam or something, which is, mind you, also usually my only food of the day because I am too busy for my own good, and because my meds cause me not to have an appetite).
Worse than that, she vents about her ED problems to me constantly. I get that maybe she needs someone outside of therapy to talk about it with, but it makes me really close to relapsing every time. She'll come home and start saying things like "I weighed myself yesterday and lost another X kg" and "A guy ranted to me about how he wanted to lose weight, like duh he should be happy, he might need it for when he's like me, who hasn't eaten in 3 days." and "I've been so bad today but it's probably a good thing because the 4 days before that I didn't eat at all."
I don't know how to gently reaffirm my boundaries and tell her that it's affecting me really badly when she says such things to me. I don't want to be too firm or mean, and I understand that she's going through bad stuff, but I'm not in a place where I could listen to it without it fucking me up badly.
Honestly, I think you've given your roommate the benefit of the doubt for too long. She doesn't "forget" she's triggering you. She's subtly doing it on purpose. She doesn't "not pick up on" your hints about why you're uncomfortable. She's enjoying making you uncomfortable. I usually do not advise people to think in such a paranoid fashion, but I truly believe the writing is on the wall here. As someone who has given others the benefit of the doubt for too long and gotten hurt for it, I feel obligated to say this.
Anon, those of us who have eating disorders are often unwell in other ways. We often have trauma and difficult relationships and other issues. And we're often competitive in our eating disorders, which is a real risk. Many of us try to show off being the "sickest" or make it a game, sometimes. And you are ABSOLUTELY allowed to be too firm and "too mean" in defending your health. Her going through stuff does NOT justify her putting you through stuff, and that's a lesson all of us who have mental illness need to learn - both in regard to what we put up with, and what we may make others put up with.
So listen. A successful boundary is not a statement of "you can't do X." Attempting to control the behavior of others is useless. Instead, think of a boundary (and speak your boundaries) in terms of "if you do X, I will do Y to protect myself." And do be prepared to follow through on that consequence. As one of my favorite TikTok therapists once said, "a boundary without consequences for violating it isn't a boundary, it's more of a fancy request."
If you're stuck in the lease and don't have the option of moving away from this girl, here's what you can do to get by for now. Make a list of all the things she has done to trigger your ED, and make a list of responses that will be protective for you. Then, have a kind but firm talk with her about how she constantly triggers your ED and how you will be taking the following measures to take care of your mental health. Let her know you're not trying to be hurtful but for your protection, these are non-negotiable. Things like "If you continue to make comments about what is on my plate, I will take my plate and leave the room." or "If you continue to vent to me about your eating disorder, I will hang out with you less."
She may try to act the victim. Do not be swayed by this. No matter how she feels about this talk, nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health, and it is her own responsibility to learn to take care of her own mental health WITHOUT hurting others, as we all must learn to do. Tell her that you want for her to have someone to talk to about this, but that someone cannot be you. She has done this multiple times. This isn't a mistake at this point, and honestly, you're not doing her a favor by letting her go without learning how to hold herself accountable for respecting the boundaries of others. But more importantly, you're not doing yourself any favors by teaching yourself that it's okay to let others hurt you because they're having a hard time. Your hard times matter too, anon.
Best of luck in the roommate stuff and in making it through the winter.
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3terna15unshin3 · 10 months
Text
Then Because She Goes
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When you leave, I cry on the inside
★ Chapter 4 of 15, 3733 words
★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character
★ warnings: alcohol consumption
<< 3
28 November, 2018
The train ride felt excruciatingly long.
Cate and Este sat facing each other in their seats, talking occasionally, but Cate was busy on her laptop and Este had her nose tucked into a book. 
“I’m getting sick of riding the train to London, to be honest,” complained Cate. Este removed her left Airpod to listen to her. “It feels like it moves slower every time I’m on it.”
She had been coming into London a handful of times a month for work, and since it was so much busier than her hometown, it gave her constant headaches. The company she worked for had a branch of offices in Manchester, where Cate was hired, but it was based in London; so, a particular merch collection forced her to travel down much more often than she wanted to. But, she was just as excited as Este to be at the album release show; so she didn’t mind being in the city this time around.
Matty graciously offered Este to bring a friend, so of course, her flatmate was tagging along. He sent her a couple messages to let her know that her and Cate’s name would be on the guest list. Other than those few to let Este in on the details of the concert, not many words had been shared between the two since he’d been over to her flat. Little time had passed, and Este knew Matty would be super busy with the album release, so she didn't feel the need to reach out. Even though she finished reading You Are Here earlier in the week and surprisingly found it really eye opening and worth the read.
“Just remember, in an hour or so we’ll be all warm and cosy in my nan’s house. And she’ll be force feeding us a bunch of food,” Este reminded her. “Plus, my granddad finally got his hearing aids fixed so you won’t have to repeat everything you say until he understands it!”
Cate laughed and continued clicking away on her laptop while responding. “Are you sure they’re okay with us staying there? We could’ve easily just booked a hotel, I don’t want to be intruding.”
“Seriously, they love hosting guests. They’d never feel like we were intruding. I haven’t visited overnight in a while too, so I’m sure they’ll enjoy the company,” Este assured her.
Continuing in and out of conversation, they drowned their ears in music through their headphones. Then, the journey came to a close, and they rifled through the bodies in the underground to head over to Florencia and José’s house. The elderly couple welcomed them with open arms and, like Este assumed, immediately fed them a hearty dinner. José, Este’s grandfather, sat in his usual spot on their leather reclining chair to face the television while Florencia and the two girls sat at the dining room table. Both had full stomachs.
“What are you two in town for again? A show?” Florencia asked, struggling to remember what Este had explained over the phone.
“Yeah, a concert. It’s Matty’s band, actually. You remember Matty, right?” she posed, although she was sure her nan remembered him. When calling her about coming down to London, Este brought up the fact that she was his nurse back in 2011 and even sent the photo her way. Florencia fully gushed about how wonderful he was—showing pure excitement that they’d managed to meet again years later in a Starbucks, and that he’d  met her granddaughter. Este recalls her using the words ‘a fine young man’ to describe him.
“Oh yes, of course! You know, you should invite him to the party in February. I think he’d enjoy himself.”
Cate and Este both laughed at the craziness of her suggestion. They had been extensively planning her and José’s 50th wedding anniversary celebration—the party Flo was referring to. It was a dinner and dance event with a program, a DJ, and the works. Most things Florencia mentioned as of late had all somehow looped back around to be about the party, so José was used to it. It was practically a second wedding.
“Lola, he’ll be touring next year. I don’t think he’ll have the time to come to your party,” Este said, a laugh still evident in her voice.
Her grandmother shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to ask, anak. He can be your date.”
Este went red and covered her face with her hands.
“I thought I was supposed to be your date?!” Cate joked.
They finished helping Florencia clean up in the kitchen and then went up to the room they were sharing, picking their outfits for the following night. Both Este and Cate only brought a couple of options, as their bags were quite small for the two-night stay. 
“Fuck, I should’ve brought that red top with the stars,” complained Cate. “That would go so well with these pants.”
Este felt like they were in school again, deciding what to wear before a night out and emptying all of their garments onto the floor. They continued the ritual, holding up various pieces up to their bodies to try and build ideas. But, Este’s phone buzzed just as they were coming to a decision.
[este.manansala]: trumanblack: Doors are at 7 tomorrow btw, so if you show up around then security will take you back so you can have a drink and meet the others before the show :) If u want to!
Cate took a second to read the notification on Este’s phone and then looked up at her. “He’s inviting us backstage for drinks before the show?”
Figuring that standing at side stage would require going back there anyway, Este wasn’t too shocked. Spending time with Matty in person let her come to terms with how aggressively human he truly was, and him reaching out and inviting them to the show helped distract her from the irrational insecurity that their friendship didn't mean anything to him.
“Yeah, I guess. He did say that there was room at the side of the stage for ‘friends and family’, so I assumed we’d be back there,” she responded casually.
“I feel like we might need to put more thought into these outfits now.”
✴ 29 November, 2018
The two of them did not consider the long queue of girls that would be inevitably waiting to be let into the venue. Too considerate to cut to the front, which they were most likely allowed to do, Este and Cate shivered in the cold winter air. It was moving fast, thankfully, since everyone was hurrying to get a good spot; so after repeatedly standing and then shuffling forward, they got to the front.
“Um, I think I’m on the list. Este Manansala?” she asked the bouncer nervously, insecure that the girls behind them could hear her and would judge them for holding up the line. He looked over to another man with a clipboard, who scanned his eyes over his list and then nodded at the girls. A ‘thanks’ was thrown from the smiling girls to the bouncer and the people who let them in, before a security guard welcomed them into the rooms further into the club.
Este’s hands were clammy as they walked up to the door that had a small ‘The 1975’ sign on the front, aware of the fact that they were about to be socialising with heaps of new people. Cate followed behind her as they entered, seeing a couple of black leather couches and small coffee tables. There was a bar along the back wall with various bottles of liquor and a stack of glass cups. Buzzing conversation filled the room as people mingled familiarly, some lounged on the furniture and others standing in small circles. They decided to quietly keep to themselves until anyone approached them, standing together at a tall cocktail table.
Matty’s fingers fought with the curls framing his face as he pushed them away, chatting casually with his brother. When their conversation phased out slowly, he found himself scanning the room—seemingly at the perfect time—as his eyes caught Este’s brown ones.
Slightly nervous, he shot her a smile and observed the redhead standing with her. That must be Cate, he thought to himself. Matty weaved his way around each small exchange happening between the handful of people in the room, and finally reached the two girls.
“Este,” he said with a sigh of relief, happy that she’d shown. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
She grinned and welcomed him in for a hug. “I’m so glad to be able to see the show,” said Este as they broke apart, Matty casually embracing Cate after she continued. “This is my best friend, Cate.”
“Lovely to meet you,” started Matty. “Este's told me you do graphic design?”
The conversation immediately took off as he and Cate delved into topics surrounding her job and its artistic components. He was knowledgeable about the subject and had an awfully distinct taste, directly referencing certain movements or time periods that stood as inspiration for the art he made. Cate appreciated Matty’s efforts to get to know her style and to understand the drive behind her career, even showing him examples of her previous work.
Then, a man so tall they had to tilt their heads upwards to look at him approached. Matty’s eyes lit up as he appeared, excited for Ross to meet them. “Oh mate—these are my friends Este and Cate. From Manchester,”
“Ross,” he introduced himself, looking at each of them and smiling. “How do you guys know each other?”
Este made eye contact with Matty. He raised his eyebrows, encouraging her to explain instead of him. “I work at a book shop in Manchester that Matty comes into whenever he’s in town, so since then we’ve kind of started our own two-person book club over Instagram DMs! Which is, now that I say it, probably the lamest explanation I could have possibly chosen,” she said, embarrassed, scratching her temple.
“Please never call our friendship a ‘book club’ ever again. That's horrible,” Matty defended. “I’d hope that by now it’s more than that,” he said, making goosebumps raise on Este's arms. “Her nan was also my nurse when I got my gallbladder removed.” 
The bluntness in his voice made Este and Cate giggle, Ross clearly used to his antics. “Cool story, mate,” he responded sarcastically. “Can we hear more about that one surgery you had like ten years ago? We’re all dying to know!”
“First of all, it was only seven years ago. Second of all, shut the fuck up,” Matty corrected.
Small talk circled the four of them as Este and Cate got to know Ross and vice versa. Hearing the familiar name while eavesdropping from one of the couches adjacent to the group, George butted in loudly, already slightly buzzed. “You’re Este?”
Another gigantic man presented himself and hung on Este’s right shoulder. “Yeah,” she said, confused about how he knew her. “And this is Cate, my best friend.”
“Nice to meet you. George,” he said. “I heard the spiel about that book you told Matty to read on the plane a while back. And I’ve got to say, you seem lovely, but that book sounded really fucking weird.”
Este went on to try and defend it, but the rest of the group went on to tease her playfully. Matty eventually dragged Adam over to them as well, the girls finally meeting the entirety of the band behind their dance anthem of late May. These people feel warm and fuzzy, thought Este. They’re the real deal. Her eyes rarely left Matty, though.
The group setting allowed her to study him discreetly, appreciating the recognisable inflections in his speech and casual stage outfit hanging on his body. His ability to completely immerse himself into a point he’d like to make, going on without caring how long it would take to get there. It was peculiar that those traits on other people seemed mundane—but for Matty, they were just reasons for Este to keep listening to what came out of his mouth.
Although she didn’t notice, Matty spent their whole conservation observing her just as closely as she did him. He could tell how much she loved Cate and how they supported each other throughout moments of uncertainty. Este spoke with her hands. Fidgeted with her necklace some more. Always threw her head back when laughing really hard. And even more deeply, Matty took note of her intellect; how she managed to use purposeful language even when the subject was lighthearted or one-off. He indulged in Este as much as he could during the short bursts of time they had together.
When show time neared, the band left to do some last minute preparation, allowing Cate and Este to hold their own for half an hour before it started. They met a few people, most of them in the room being friends of the band—some family—but stayed fairly reserved, not wanting to intrude.
Then, the show began. Their view from the side of the stage was surreal. Este couldn’t recall a show she’d been that close for, peering at Adam from his side. Both her and Cate tried to keep their cool, as the people around them were, but couldn’t help themselves from moving further back for more space to get lost in the music. Este was enthralled by seeing Love It If We Made It live, the experience leaving an even bigger impact on her than the recording.
It was electric, Matty’s performance. She watched him own the stage incredibly comfortably, clearly having years of experience. He seemed at home up there. Like music was his air to breathe. Every person in the room couldn’t peel their eyes away from him.
The short setlist ended far too soon, and the two girls enjoyed themselves purely. “They’re fucking rockstars,” commented Cate. Este agreed as they walked over to the toilets, taking a much needed wee break and wondering what would come next.
“Surely there’s an after party,” Cate suggested, fixing her top in the mirror that hung above the sinks. “Would you want to stick around if he mentions it?”
“I have no idea. The idea of partying with them sort of freaks me out,” Este admitted.
“We’re in this together, babe. If you go down for acting piss drunk then so will I.”
An hour into the post-show party, a fairly intoxicated Matty danced next to George—the DJ for the night. A half-full bottle of wine was gripped in his right hand, and after the emotional release that was their 14 songs performed earlier, they were ready to get fucked up. There are too many people to talk to, thought Matty. Settings like these did bring out his social side, and the conversations he’d been having with everyone at the party were sincere; but they drained him. So, he resorted to dancing. And got increasingly drunk as the night went on.
He was subconsciously disappointed that he hadn’t seen Este yet, assuming her and Cate either took off already or had gotten lost in the sea of bodies filling Pryzm. His eyes tried to focus and recognize them when scanning the room, but the dim and sometimes randomly flashy lights prevented him from coming to any conclusion.
About to give up, Matty finally found her. Dancing with Cate to George’s lively set. Her arms were up in the air, forehead glistening with happy perspiration. They both looked like they were having fun. Thank god, Matty thought, as his worries vanished. The alcohol in his system lifted his feet one after the other to encourage his body over to them. His much less impulsive and much more logical sober-self would have stopped him, but that wasn’t the case this time. Luckily, they were near the edge of the dance floor, so reaching them didn’t take much effort.
Cate saw Matty approaching, eyes widening with excitement and nerves. He was sweet to her, so she had no reason to be unsure, but he was also the man of the night. “Hey!” she greeted him excitedly. “The show was amazing. You guys are amazing,”
Her compliment felt genuine. Matty clutched his hand over his heart, thanking her. “Thank you guys so much for coming. It means a lot, and you know, this new album feels so fresh for us and I think it’s our best work. And I was so confident with releasing the singles, so I can’t wait for everyone to hear the whole album, but tonight really made me nervous, for some reason. So I’m really happy you were here and got to meet the guys and see the show, since you just remind me of Manchester and of humility and the city, so thank you. It feels really grounding. Really, thanks.” He looked between both Este and Cate during his slightly slurred rant, brows furrowed with sincerity, placing his hands on both of their shoulders.
“We were seriously so entranced. And so thankful to even be in a room with that kind of energy,” replied Este, placing her hand kindly on top of his.
The three of them continued to speak highly of each other for a couple of minutes. The loud music drowned out a small portion of their perception, and the liquid courage increased their comfort in one another’s company.
“Do you guys want another drink?” Matty suggested.
Cate shook her head no, already feeling it a little too strongly, but as she looked over to her black-haired friend, she could tell Este wanted another. Asian-glow lit up her cheeks, showing up after the couple of G&T’s she had downed.
Another drink couldn’t hurt. “I won’t say no to that,” Este said. “I can bring you one, Cate, if you want.”
“I’m staying put, to dance. I don’t feel like having to look after a glass. Go ahead though, I’ll be here!”
Matty guided Este through to the bar, his hand hovering over the small of her back; hesitant to make contact. They laughed playfully as they kept the conversation going, both sufficiently and happily drunk. To their surprise, it was quite empty. So, they had a seat on two stools before asking for a G&T for Este, and cracking open another bottle of red for Matty.
“Do you want to know the real reason why I’m glad you enjoyed the show?” he posed with a sliver of sincerity in his voice, but covered it up with the tone of their giggly demeanours.
Este took a sip of her drink. “What, were you lying about what you said earlier? All those niceties like how we ‘ground’ you, or whatever?” she teased and chuckled, watching his face distort as she made fun of his drunken speech.
“No. I wasn’t lying, thank you very much,” Matty confirmed. “But there’s a truer statement that I’m going to tell you right now because my stomach feels warm and tingly from the wine.” He leaned closer, raising his hand to whisper in her ear, as if it was a secret. Este tilted her face away so his voice could reach her ear more easily. “I really care about what you think of me. Like really, really care. I think it’s because I think really highly of you and that you’re like, really cool, so I want you to think I’m cool too.”
She turned to face him, cheeks on fire, the dimple apparent on her left one. “That’s very cute of you, Matty. Thank you.” Este tried hard to contain her smile and appreciation for his kindness, but failed miserably as the giddy grin on her face couldn’t be wiped off, despite trying. This is the second time he’s called me cool. Maybe he actually means it, she thought. Getting into his space, just like he did her, she whispered back, “I do think you’re cool. Don’t worry.”
Matty threw his hand over his heart again, then comically pretended to wipe sweat off his forehead in relief. “Bless!”
Their conversation twisted and turned through topics of both relevance and unimportance. Musical influences, his pants being hemmed a little too short, their primary school experiences, Este’s thoughts on You Are Here, Matty’s non-existent thoughts on On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous (since he revealed that he hadn’t even opened it yet).
Forgetting they left Cate on the dance floor, the two of them tried to wrap up their drunken blur of a discussion. But, one more thing popped into Este’s mind, as she chewed on the ice cubes from her now empty glass. “You know what’s funny?”
“What’s funny, Este?”
She laughed to herself, as the warmth in her cheeks had now spread through to her whole abdomen. “I’m staying with my nan, you know, since I’m in London. And when I mentioned that I’m in town to see your gig, she like fully, seriously, told me to invite you to her and my granddad’s 50th wedding anniversary party,” Este admitted as she shook her head in embarrassment, too tipsy to avoid mentioning it.
Matty’s curiosity was displayed on his face. “Has she really?”
“Yes, like actually. Her and my mum have been planning it for months, it’s going to be a dinner and dance, and everything. Renting out a hotel banquet hall to host it,” she explained.
“Tell me a time and a place, I’ll be there. Only for Lola, though.” He beamed at her with a wink as Este smacked his chest and they made way towards Cate.
After dancing for a couple more songs, they decided it was time to take off. Both a bit sloppy, Cate and Este found each band member dispersed throughout Pryzm—giving them a shouty ‘Thank you!’, and a congrats-on-the-new-album hug.
Este stopped at Matty one last time, embracing him with her sweaty arms and pecking his cheek. “Thanks so much, Matty. It genuinely was such a great night. You deserve all the praise.”
A quick inhale with his nose close to Este’s temple made him notice how good she smelled, even after a long night of dancing. He thanked her back, immediately sobering up to get his point across unfeignedly, rubbing her back in assurance and then letting go. They smiled at each other before Este broke their eye contact, and the two girls strolled to the exit, hopping in a cab back to Florencia’s.
5 >>
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starryeyeesworld · 1 month
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Food diary
24 Feb 2024
morning weigh in: 53.1 kg (117 lb)
Breakfast
Pancakes with honey and black coffee
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I found this recipe on tumblr
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup almond milk
1 egg white
2 tbsp baking powder
1 tbsp cinnamon
They are 14 cal per pancake (I really hope so)
Honey 21 cal per teaspoon
Coffee 4 cal
Total 53 cal
Snacks
Tanghulu and coke
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I decided to try and make some tanghulu for my flatmate and had a grape one, I think it should be around 120 cal
Coke zero 1 cal
Total 121 cal
Dinner
Rice, Brocoli and salmon
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⅓ cup rice 70 cal
½ cup boiled broccoli 15 cal
Salmon fille 211 cal
Total 296 cal
Total for today 470 cal
I will try not to eat after 6 pm, I might have another black coffee tho... and I'll try to do some exercise today ✨️
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elegance-and-grit · 7 months
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2/100 days of productivity
13.09.2023
Habits
🚶 1 hour of movement
🏊‍♀️ 30 mins of sports (went swimming, yeah!)
🧘 Yoga (any duration) (nope, not really, just some small stretches)
🥗 Somewhat healthy food (nooppee, stress ate a lot of M&Ms, the ones from my birthday, because of my whole flat situation - me and my flatmates have to leave the flat, I luckily have a new one already, but the whole other people are now coming to look at the flat, and everybody moving out, and cleaning and all thing has me stressed)
Study & Work
📚 Read 30 minutes (Yes! Read Chapter 1 of The Art Of Computer Systems Performance Analysis and it promises to be an interesting read!)
✍️ Wrote 30 minutes (Yes! Got started on a blog post about one of my tech projects, always takes a long while to actually put it down. But I think I should do it more often, as it really forces you to have understood what you do).
💭 Thought 30 minutes (nope)
💻 Concentrated work for 6 hours (Just so, but I am going to take it. :D)
Unluckily my benchmarks showed that my patch is possibly not improving things and perhaps even leads to wrong results on certain workloads. I'll have to investigate today!
Other & New Ideas
Cleaned & washed things, stole me some time yesterday, but will make life easier on the weekend!
Experimented with the 3-3-3 Method proposed by Oliver Burkeman (the one who wrote Four Thousand Weeks). The idea is to:
Spend 3 hours on your most important thing. Complete 3 shorter tasks you've been avoiding. Work on 3 maintenance activities to keep life in order.
I did a TODO list with just 3 small tasks (ok 4), and I actually managed to complete them all! Seems like a much better idea than fooling myself into thinking that I am gonna tackle my whole doom pile in one day besides my day work. Gonna try it again today.
Had a nice late evening with my boyfriend, but was again very late in bed and didn't get a good night's sleep.
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kaths221b · 1 year
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Bad Mary fics
For today's trope we have fics in which Mary is not the most appreciated character.
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1. Wrapped in the Yellow Jack(et) by Cattywampus
When Sherlock returns 18 months after The Fall, John doesn't think he can forgive his ex-flatmate. But he's shocked when he finds out about his friend being carted off to the hospital by an obsessed and infatuated media circus. What was originally brushed off as the common case of the flu turns out to be far deadlier and brings to light all sorts of dark secrets about Sherlock's time away.
2. Before You Know It by LollipopCop
John hates how his life turned out, and mourns the lost potential between him and Sherlock.
So when he's given a second chance, transported back to the night Sherlock returned from the dead, John must make good use of it.
3. Recovery by thesignsofserbia
Set after the confrontation with Mary, and Sherlock's cardiac arrest, John stays at 221B to aid Sherlock's recovery, forcing them to confront wounds both old and new as they try to heal their damaged relationship.
4. Those Nights We Sought All The Words by ConsultingPurplePants
John has been living with Mary again for over a year with their daughter when he makes a discovery that changes everything.
He seeks shelter at Baker Street, but after all this time, will Sherlock take him back?
 Throughout this fic, Sherlock will sometimes speak French. In order to view the English translations, simply hover the cursor over the text, and the translation should appear as a mouseover text
5. White Tulip by withoutawish
Sherlock is in love with John Watson. John Watson is in love with Mary Morstan. Sherlock likes Mary Morstan just fine. Sherlock likes drugs more. And most importantly, Sherlock doesn’t like Sherlock.
String theory dictates the laws of the universe. But their story isn’t one that can be boxed up neatly, tied in a heartstring bow.
"After all, the axioms of homeostasis dictate that an infinity sign of negative feedback can only loop back in on itself.”
tw this one doesn't have a happy ending if I recall correctly :/
Hope you like it!
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