#i say in the middle of a rewatch i started months ago

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

911 Spoilers Season 4: You’ve been warned. 😅 Buddie Rewatch

Episodes 1-3

Episode 1: The New Abnormal

Chimney and Maddie are having a video call. Chim is at Bucks because of Covid.

Buck mentions how Hen and Eddie have gone back to their places months ago, and that he’s the only one still freaking out.

The fact that we miss Eddie and Buck being room mates was kind of a downer. I will say the fanfiction writers really went off with this plot device. Because Eddie and Buck would share a bed, while Hen and Chim sleep on mattresses down stairs. It just makes sense.

Buck has a “covid crush,” he’s apparently been talking to a woman for hours at a time on video call. Buck denies the allegations and goes to take a shower to get ready for work.

Mini earth quake happens, Chim and Hen try to gage how strong it was, Hen guessing a 4. Eddie walking in and calling it a dud a rating it a 3. Eddie walks over to the fire truck, where Buck is leaning against the truck, looking at his phone tracking the microquakes.

Eddie leans against the truck and puts his hand on his hip and listens to Buck talk about the microquakes.

Bus in the skyscraper: As the 118 gets to the location of the incident, we get an overhead look of them looking up at the bus. Eddie and Buck stand barely a foot apart behind, Chimney, Hen and Bobby.

The 118 take the elevator. Bobby is in the middle in-between Hen and Chim. Eddie and Buck behind them.  Eddie with his hands held together Infront of him. Buck looking thru his phone.

Buck researching the how much water the Hollywood reservoir holds and asking where all that water will go.

Although I truly believe Buck would have looked up that information eventually for his own knowledge, I really do believe he was looking it up at that moment because he was thinking about the tsunami. He was worried they could face similar scenarios.

Eddie looks Buck up and down as he asks the question. Hen responds with the water goes out to sea.

Elevator door opens, masks go on. Continuity error occurs as the screen pans to the accident than back on to the elevator, both Eddie and Buck are the only ones not wear the masks. As Bobby, Chim, and Hen step off the elevator.

Eddie and Buck remain in the elevator. Eddie readjusts himself and says, “At least it is not a tsunami”, Buck looks over at him with a glare. They look at each other as the elevator door closes in front of them.

Buck and Eddie are on the building’s roof. Buck clipping himself into a harness as Eddie sets up the rig. Buck prepares to descend.

Eddie advises that Buck is about to touch down and coordinating that he will send down the webbing to secure the Bus.

Buck lands on the bus, causing it to shift a little. He notes that the bus is using alternative energy.  He starts to go around the bus a securing it when he finds a person under the bus.

Buck attempting to help Chim pull out the injured man, but the space being too tight for even a back board to squeeze in.

Eddie hesitating/not fully comprehending Bobby’s orders to destabilize the bus that was just stabilized.

Buck applying a second torniquet on to man with a bleeding leg.

Buck grabbing the gurney as Eddie is undoing all his previous work.

Bobby instructing Eddie to get ready to readjust the bus, Eddie asking if everyone is off the bus. Buck repeating to Bobby that he needs to get off the bus.

Buck calling out for Cap as Bobby is trying to comfort CJ.

Buck and Chimney pulling out the body.

Eddie restabilizing the bus, Eddie noticing that the bus is leaking fuel. Eddie asks Buck over the radio if everyone is off the bus.

Buck running towards the bus screaming for cap. There is an explosion on the bus that cause Buck to throw him self out into safety. Buck worryingly jumps onto the bus and finds Booby and CJ safely on the ground of the bus.

Episode 2: Alone Together

Eddie walking over and asking if they should be worried about more of the hill going down. Chim and Buck following close behind him. Buck standing about two feet away from him. Chimney is standing in between them as they look up at the Hollywood sign. Eddie with his signature hands on his hips. Buck giving seriousness with the way we only see his eyes, it’s fierce.

Bobby, Hen, and Eddie are to go up towards the Hollywood sign and Chim and Buck stay on the ground to help search and rescue.

This is the season when I noticed the writers push having Buck and Eddie being separated. It’s not too bad, at least compared to season 5 and 6. The one good thing about separating them a bit is we get to see their individual relationships with the other members of the 118. Separating Buck and Eddie, starts off very subtle, but it’ll randomly hit and I’m trying to pin point when the showrunner got sick of Buddie shippers.

Buck and Chimney patrolling calling out for survivors. They find a dead body, mark it and keep moving. They hear a baby cry and find a baby monitor, but no baby. Buck’s eyes go a little wide with concern.

Bobby, Hen, and Eddie hike up to the Hollywood sign. Eddie noting that to get to the victims they need plywood to get to them.

Chim and Buck talk about how Chimney is going to be a father. Chimney is doubting himself; Buck is telling him that he is over thinking it. While they try to figure out where the baby is, Buck comes up with the idea of following the direction the monitor starts to experience signal interference to find the baby.

Chimney going worse case scenario, but Buck trying to find reasonable explanations. Buck tells Chim he has to stop worrying and being afraid of the world and actually move in with his sister Maddie. Repeating that he’ll be a great dad as they find the house, they think the baby is in.

Eddie and a random firefighter placing down plywood as Hen assesses the man in mud.

Eddie trying to reassure the guy in the mud by telling him he’s not going to die.

Eddie looking around silently judging the three roommates as they argue. Eddie then telling Dylan he can’t drown in quicksand, but if he continues to struggle the worse it will be.

Eddie offering other solutions to get him out, but they would not work in this scenario.

Eddie cutting up the H to help get the guy unstuck. Hen being left alone to hear the love confession. Bobby and Eddie making there way back over with the ladder they cut off. As they are trying to get the ladder situated, they witness the love confession from the girl.

I think Eddie had a stand in this scene. I was hoping to see his face to gage the reaction, but we never got it. The scenes are also pieced together in way that Eddie has a lot of stand-alone shots.  This could have been because of covid protocols or just scheduling conflicts.

We do see Eddie reacting the roommate threaten his friend, which was him looking over at Bobby.

Buck lowering Chim down a chimney to rescue the crying baby. Chim located a dead older woman and then an infant in a bassinet. Buck being relieved and happy at the news of the baby being alive.  

Chim finding a room full of pregnant woman, one of which is in active labor, Chim calls for reinforcements.

Buck harnessing himself, preparing to go down and help Chim rescue the woman. Eddie handing him an axe and lowering him down.

Buck escorting the other pregnant woman out as Chim handles the delivery.

Eddie and Hen guiding the woman who just delivered her baby and baby down to a gurney. Eddie watching as the woman is reunited with one of the other women who was held captive. Buck in the background taking off his harness \ and helmet watching as well.

Eddie asking Chim, how was the practice run. Buck joining in and repeating that Chim will be a great dad to a baby Buckley.

Eddie laying in Christopher’s bed cuddled up to Chris as Carla reads a story over video call. Carla’s story is about people being connected by an invisible string made from love.

Eddie falling asleep in an uncomfortable position and Chris is a sleep.

Albert and Buck reveal they are now roommates.  Buck goes off to speak with the mystery girl Maddie mentioned at the start of episode 1. Turns out this mystery girl is his new therapist and he’s starting to accept that he hides his true feelings from others.

Buck hiding his true feelings is nuanced in understanding Buck’s identity. He’s a people pleaser and willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good.  Do I think Buck is hiding his true feelings for Eddie, yes yes I do. Am I sane enough to realize that that is only a small part of Buck hiding who he is and how he feels, yes, yes I am.

Episode 3: Future Tense

Smart House: Buck hopping out of the fire engine right into Eddie handing him an axe. They walk together, about 4 feet apart (they have to break covid protocols a little) with Bobby following right behind.

At the door, Bobby rings the doorbell. Buck points out that dispatch stated the victim was unconscious, Eddie is standing right behind him now.

Everyone looking up at the camera, allowing their faces to be unknowingly be scanned and Hildy opening the door for Los Angeles Fire Department.

Hen vocalizing how she’s creeped out about the situation and everyone agreeing with her as the put on their masks.

Eddie and Buck walking in the gurney. Eddie judging the victim for living in a smart home. He doesn’t understand why he would live in a home filled with cameras and microphones. Buck laughing at Eddie and letting him know that if he has a phone, computer, or a smart anything, anyone can already spy on him.

Cut to Eddie making the most adorable concerned face, I’ve ever seen on a grown man. Eddie looking up at the cameras hesitantly.

Eddie vocalizing how he shouldn’t buy that smart coffee maker he’s been seeing advertised to him. Hildy interrupting, by calling Eddie by his name and suggesting coffee makers he can purchase. Eddie looking like a scared puppy as Buck adds fuel to the fire by welcoming him into the future.

Eddie fully understanding what Buck meant by how anyone can spy on you as it is revealed that the ex-girlfriend was spying on the victim.

Buck at Maddie and Chim’s place helping baby proof the apartment, going a little overboard by baby proofing top cabinets. Him justifying that choice because they are having a Buckley who could end up being as wild as he was.

Buck finally telling Maddie and Chim that he doesn’t have a girlfriend, that he has been seeing a therapist to address personal non firefighter aspects of his life. Maddie looking at him concerned.

Buck laying in bed when he hears a knock on his door. Maddie walking in and Buck being confused because he just left her place.

Buck admitting to Maddie that he partially started therapy because of her comment about being sad and lonely.

Buck further admitting that he thought he’d be better after finding closure with Abby, but he was still sad and lonely. Buck admits to having a great life filled with a job he loves and people he loves, but he feels like he can’t trust it.

We learn that Buck feels this way mostly because his parents taught him that the world is an uncertain place and to be wary of trusting it. That’s a pretty messed up life lesson for a parent to teach.

Buck trying to reassure Maddie that he can handle this self-discovery journey alone and that he does not feel like she could help any way, because deep down he always felt like she was sad too.

Christopher and Buck playing video games at Eddie’s house. Christopher is of course winning and Buck playfully accuses him of cheating. Eddie walks over with his hands on his hips and turns off the gaming system.

Buck and Chris being confused and question why Eddie disconnected the game. Eddie explaining, hands still on his hips, that they are taking a break from the internet.

Chris asks how he’s supposed to talk to his friends causing Eddie to freak out about the realization that Chris can talk to real life people on his game. I laughed so hard at Eddie’s facial expression here.

Buck looking up at Eddie a bit concerned, explaining that he was only joking about people spying on him.

Eddie being a bit paranoid is examining a head set and explaining that Buck wasn’t really joking because ever since that smart house rescue has been getting non stop coffee maker ads. Buck chuckling and explaining that that is just targeted advertising and it’s not a big deal.

Christopher is sitting there laughing at his dad whose having an obvious crisis over technology.

Christopher vocalizing his excitement over possibly getting a Hildy, and Eddie quickly shutting that idea down.

Chris than asking Buck if they could go to his place to play video games. Buck looks like he’s considering it, until he looks up at an upset Eddie with his arms crossed. The stance Eddie has in this moment basically screams “I might be being over reacting, but don’t you dare undermine me in front of our child”

Buck apologizing to Chris and explaining that they are going to have to go with out technology for a while. Eddie relaxing and walking away satisfied with that answer. Buck suggesting they play scrabble.

Maddie is on the verge of tears. Chim asks her what is wrong and she reveals she’s concerned about being a bad parent. She states her parents where not bad people, just bad parents.

News of the Texas wild fire plays on the tv at the fire house. (I did pause my rewatch and watch the cross over episode of Lonestar, those notes will be posted with Episode 4 notes). Buck walking up as Chimney is watching the broad cast.

Chimney turns off the tv to ask Buck about his parents and why he doesn’t talk about them. Specifically making a comment about how Chim knows more about Buck’s sex life than his up brining. Buck jokes that it’s because his sex life was interesting, at least it once was, hasn’t been recently.

Chim explaining how Maddie was freaking out about being a bad parent. Buck explains that his parents were never abusive, but they were absent. Physically they where right there, but emotionally, they were a million miles away.

Chim jokingly double checking to make sure Buck isn’t hiding a deep dark family secret, Buck confirming they are just a dysfunctional family and proceeds to welcome him into the family.

Maddie is on the phone with her mom, trying to update her on her pregnancy. Maddie getting defensive over her choice to find out the sex of the baby, implying mom is being judgmental.

Maddie referring to Buck as Evan while speaking to Mom and asking if she’s spoken to him. Maddie revealing that Buck is seeing a therapist. Maddie reacting in a way that implies more judgement.

Maddie wants to admit to Buck that they have been lying to him his entire life.

Goat Yoga: Eddie standing behind Bobby and in front of Hen as they approach victim’s door.

Eddie hands Bobby the battering ram. They open the door and Eddie and Hen are examining the patient. Eddie catching something swimming in her eyes.

Eddie knowing what Goat yoga is and how the goat’s weight is beneficial to holding a plank position. Hen and Bobby look at Eddie questioningly and he explains that Buck isn’t the only one to know weird stuff.

I love how this implies Eddie and Buck hang out so much, that his mannerisms are rubbing off on Eddie and they are just more similar.

Eddie being amused by the patient processing she had worms in her eyes, up until a Hildy starts speaking. He instantly freaks out, gets up from his spot and disconnects the Hildy.

Eddie opening his door to a package, he’s confused but picks it up and brings it over to the living room, passed Chris.

Chris starts to side eye and waits in anticipation, as Eddie starts to open the package. Eddie becoming panicked and tries to process the situation. Chris calls Buck and tells him they got him. Eddie walking over angrily taking the phone from Chris and sarcastically thanking Buck. Buck is leaning on his kitchen counter, with a cocky smirk.

I love that buying your best friend an expensive coffee maker is considered a prank. I love it even more that the calm and cool veteran is the one afraid of a coffee maker.

Maddie reveals to Chim what has been bothering her. We of course do not learn the family secret yet.

Eddie and Buck are packing and getting ready to head out to go to Texas to fight a wild fire. Eddie and Buck are standing pretty much pressed together as Hen explains why she is also going.  

I started watching this show in the middle of covid, but I had started watching during the Season 4 mid-season break. I wonder where I’d be now if I never became obsessed with this amazing gay firefighter show. I think right now is the best time for me to address this, but I call 911 the gay firefighter show because of Hen and Karen. I also tend to think about Michael and his relationships, David, being my favorite partner. I of course will be rooting for Buck and Eddie to add more gay representation. Madney and Bathena can remain our token straight relationships.

#buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #buck x eddie #911 spoilers #911 show #christopher diaz #911 fandom #evan buckley #911 on abc #911 #911 rewatch

[futurewriter2000]

Needing You

A/N: I'm going to pull so much of personal experience from this that even I might cry at the end but I don't cry so I let's see how far I have healed. Not even gonna lie, this was harder to write than I thought. - It deleted itself in the middle of it so I had to REWRITE IT- but it turned out better than the first time.

REQUEST 15: "Optional("hey! I love your writing, so here's a request: could you do a shot about Remus X fem Slytherin who's James sister and they both have a secret relationship, and when he (James) finds out, Remus and the reader have a really strong fight when he says something like "he's my best friend, you're only an experience" (be free to change this) and they both broke up, and the reader doesn't even talk to james but rather just... isolates herself. nended however you like but IM BEGGING make it like really sad =)nHave a fantastic day! <;3.")" #wattpad

XX

The sky was clear as day. It was the night and you had decided to finally swallow your anxiety and go out with your brother's friend. Your brother didn't mind. He just expected it to be a herbal gathering mission with his sister, when Remus told him about it. He didn't know the two of you were walking around the lake for three hours, holding hands because you almost slipped. Wishing you had planned that slip but you haven't. You put sneakers on in the winter- you haven't thought much with your head when it came to Remus. You just wanted to be next to him... and you were.

Your anxiety was piling up but you couldn't stop smiling. He was shaking, since he was only in a thin black T-shirt and a fancy coat that did not provide much warmth. You marveled at the stars and he pulled you close, showing you all the constallation you knew. You haven't been watching the stars. All the time, you kept thinking about kissing him- having your first kiss with your brother's friend, on whom you had a small crush when your brother was small. You completely forgot about Remus until a few weeks ago when you started to spend more time with your brother, as well as his friends.

The kiss happened on the bench. The lake was in front of you, the stars above and he simply leaned in, finally providing some warmth on his body.

This film has been replaying in your head for the past seven months. Every day, you rewatched it in your head, it seemed to be more magical. Every day when you saw him, touched him, kissing him- you fell in love deeper.

It was as if you were going insane just by loving him. You wanted him by your side all the time. It wasn't as if it wasn't difficult, seeing his friends forcing other girls on him when the two of you were sneaking around, knowing each other's bodies pretty well. You knew every scar, every mole, every inch of his body. You believed he knew yours as well.

Remus was a nerd. He pretended to be cool and collected but he just spent 20 minutes explaining medical propreties of three kind of herbs and how other wizards- Healers even can mix them up.

"What?" he said, quirking an eyebrow as you stayed quiet, smiling at him.

"What what?" you smiled brightly, your eyes glimmering with pure joy.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"Like what?" you fixed your facial expression, hiding away the emotional depth you felt for this boy.

He stared at you for a moment and moved away from you. "Nothing." he said, starting to get dressed.

There it was. That awful feeling. That feeling of not knowing what he feels.

It always came to this. The two of you could talk forever into the night or into sex but never could the two of you talk about your feelings. You wanted to tell him. You did. You wanted to tell him that you were deeply obsessed with him. That you adored every single thing about his character and body- but there was a restrain. There was the familiar lump in your throat that blocked you from speaking any further.

He always had excuses. He was not good enough for you. He can't ruin his friendship with James... he's not looking for anything exclusive at the moment.

You moved to your pile of clothes and started to put on your underwear. I swear, your razor has never been so used in your entire life than in the past few months. You smiled at that and clicked your bra on.

He didn't even notice that your undergarments were matching. Something you felt as if your effort was for nothing, but you felt good when you did things like that. For him. To please him- do it for him... because you loved him.

"Hey..." he was by your side and you got startled a bit from your train of thoughts.

His eyes were lustful and his hands were possessive of your body. You smiled and wrapped your hands around his neck. "Hi." you said as his hand grabbed the hem of your underwear and let it go into a snap on your hip.

"This is really nice." he smiled, watching your breasts in your perky red bra.

"You like?"

"Haven't got a clear view before... but now that I do..." he said and tightened his grip around your waist. "You smell so good..." he continued, but this time it felt more as a growl than a whisper and he purged your lips with his.

It felt as if two universes were collapsing. That's how it felt, kissing the forbidden fruit for him and for you. Even though James presented a small obstacle in the way of your relationship, the whole secrecy seemed to be more exciting, causing more passionate interactions between the two of you the more you two continued this.

He backed you agains the bed... again but you laughed, pushing him away but holding onto his shirt collar. "We have to go, you know that."

He wailed like a small puppy. "I don't want to."

You pulled him into a kiss, just as passionate, just as strong and so hard to let go of it. "I-" you tried but he deepened it in that moment, causing you to heat up and back up on the bed as he crawled over you.

He raised himself up and tool a long look at you, just laying there as your foot found its way to his chest. He took a gentle hold of it and moved it onto his shoulder. "You're so beautiful."

And that was it. Small words, small gestures- you went for it all. Your love couldn't consume him all. It always wanted more.

These moments, your soul didn't care. It was happy, you were happy and you were glowing. Only your roommate was the one who knew about your secret and she didn't agree much with it. She said he didn't treat you as he should.

But you were happy and that was all that mattered.

"I love seeing you this happy but I'm so afraid that you'll get hurt." your roommate said as she made her way to your bed.

"He wouldn't hurt me. He said he would never hurt me."

"I don't know, (y/n)..." she continued but you only laughed and smiled. Something in your heart was so full of love that you couldn't keep it in. Even James thought there was something wrong when you hugged him more than you usually did.

He suspected something was going on with you but he had no clue what.

Or that's how you thought.

Remus came into the room and just as he closed the door, somebody pushed him against it. Defensively, he pushed the person away from him. "What the hell?!" he shouted and saw a pair of furius brown eyes staring at him. "James?!"

"Were you with my sister!?" he shouted, not as if he was asking, simply waiting for Remus to tell the truth he already knew. But how could he had found out. "Tell me!" he snapped, pushing Remus' shoulder. "Tell me that Peter didn't see you leaving Room of Requirements with my baby sister!"

Oh, that's how.

Remus shot his eyes at Peter, than back at James. His eyes let loose. He was tired... and ashamed. You and him talked many times about getting caught but he thought the two of you would end by now... but you didn't.

"It just happened mate."

"Fuck you, Moony!" he pushed him again. "Did the two of you kiss?!" he asked. "Were you her first kiss?!"

"Yeah, okay!" Remus lifted his hands in defense. He felt as if he was being interrogated by the Ministry at this poing.

James only stared at him for a minute, than turned around and ran his hands down his face. He mumbled something under his breath- something Remus couldn't hear.

He then turned around really carefully, trying to control the boiling blood that kept flooding into his brain. "I'm not even going to ask if the two of you shagged- I'm just going to tell you this." he said calmly, however, you could still hear the fury in his voice- the one he never used before, not once in all years of friendship. "You are going to my sister and you will tell her that it's over." he warned. "She doesn't need this Remus. What you have- she doesn't need this." he threw knives with his poisinous glare.

Remus couldn't even argue with him. He knew that this was the reason why James would never let the two of you be together. You didn't know... you didn't and it wasn't your fault but he started this mess, and he felt as if he owed it to James to finish it.

---

By now, you knew something was off. Whenever Remus seemed to stay away from you, you got a strong feeling in your stomach. The two of you could talk it out, always but this time, the feeling was extremely powerful and deep inside, you knew that it wasn't good.

So you avoided him too. You simply felt... afraid...

And James knew. He knew Remus hasn't spoken a word to you yet because you seemed to be cheery and all over the place. Jumping from one friend to the other.

'She seems so happy.' - he thought at first, seeing you talk to one of your friends from class. 'I'm glad he was her first everything... but she can't go through with this. She'd break.' He looked at Remus, who stared into the book, ignoring you completely.

James stood up and walked to him. "Go talk to her." he said, more of a warning than a suggestion. Remus looked up at his friend's eyes and saw the demand in his darkened look. "Now." he finished and walked away.

Remus watched his best friend walk away, Sirius hiding away in discomfort, meanwhile Peter was lost in his own world. He looked at you on the other side of the room and just as he did, your eyes met. His heart stepped a beat, not knowing that it matched yours on the other side.

He shuffled in his seat for a second or two but cleared his throat and walked up.

It didn't take a lot of convincing to let you come with him. You loved him. You would be by his side every second that counted, if it wasn't for the circumstances the two of you were in.

The sky wasn't like before. It wasn't clear as day but it was still just enough chilly. He was about to graduate soon and you will go into your last year. You haven't talked about it yet but maybe this will finally be the conversation that clears all that mess up

You thought.

He couldn't get himself to say it. Your eyes shimmered so brightly- even on a day like this. How could he do this?

"Umm..."

You smiled and took a hold of his hand. "It's me Remus. You can always talk to me."

He swallowed hard and flickered his eyes from your hands to your eyes.

And then it was cold.

"James found out about us... and for me, I think, it's best for us to end this now. " he said, not letting you interrupt him when you started to process information. "I think it's best that we end this." he continued quietly, removing his hand from yours and avoiding your eyes... but you only stared, not blinking once... only stared.

He tried to smile but it wasn't sincere. At least not in your eyes. "We had so much fun- (y/n) but-"

"No..." you spoke weakly, clearing your voice and not letting a single tear fall from your eyes. "You can't just break up over this. James can understand- so he knows."

"No, (y/n)... listen..." he started but you interrupted him before he could continue.

"Why do you want to end it? Finally, James knows-"

"James doesn't want us to be together." he started to get more harsh with you.

"Well, that's his problem, not ours." you snapped back.

"What do you mean it's not our problem?! He's my best friend!"

"And he's my brother- if he was a real friend, he'd be happy for you."

"If he's a real brother, he'd make us break up!"

"What does that even mean?!"

Remus threw his head back. He cannot tell you. Not this. He could tell you a lot of things but the why... that he couldn't tell you. "It means it's over." he stood up.

"Don't you walk away from me!" you shouted behind him and grabbed his arm, turning him away.

"What don't you understand!?" he shouted back, pointing at his head with his fingers. "We were never meant to be, (y/n). It was a ride but we get off now!" he pointed at the floor, steaming from all the fury.

'Why couldn't you just let him go?'

"Oh, it definitely was a ride!" you scoffed, crossing your arms as he narrowed his eyes at your sarcasm. "But you're going to let one James get in the way between this?!"

"Yes!"

"Is HE THAT IMPORTANT, HUH?! WHY DID YOU EVEN CHOOSE ME THEN?!"

"YES!" he screamed at this point. "He is MORE important than you. He is MORE than you will ever be to me!" He lost his temper, blubbering out everything he thought. "I didn't choose you! You were just there- JUST FUCKING THERE- at the right place at the right time- THAT'S WHY YOU AND ME WOULD NEVER WORK OUT. You were an OPPORTUNITY!" he shouted, letting his eyes darken and glare at you maliciously. "And I took it gracefully." he finished in a low growl, his eyes shimmering when all of a sudden you took a step back.

...

...it's that how it felt?

It was like a click in his brain. He was too harsh. He was- you're still James' little sister- he still... "Shit, (y/n)..."

You pulled your hand away from his touch as he tried to take a hold of it. Physically, it wasn't possible for your world to be shaking at the moment... but somehow it has and you couldn't see.

"It came out really wrong-"

And your heart could, in logic, not hurt phisically. Hertbreak is psychollogical but then why did suddently feel as if it had been ripped out of your chest. A hole... a deep dark hole in your chest, sucking every last bit of your soul into it.

"(y/n), please say something. You just stepped on a nerve and I got angry-"

Was the world always this silent? Were the voices around you always this muffled. You couldn't hear, you couldn't feel.

You took a hold of your cold arms and the cold didn't hurt. Your fingertips... as blue and swollen as they were, they didn't pain.

"Come on, let's get inside."

You wish, you could have ran away but your legs felt numb, so you wobbled as far away from him as you could. The first corner you turned to, the moment your legs collapsed and you slid into the floor.

'Was I really this stupid?'

'What just happened?"

'What will my roommate say- she'll mock me-'

'He probably feels so great now that he knows I was in love with him.'

'Why does it hurt so much?'

Random thoughts came through your head. One running over the other- one as random as what to wear tomorrow. But the air was cold and you felt as if you deserved to freeze in it.

The stupidity, naivety and the immense ego death- everything has destroyed you. They say words cannot hurt you but they can. If they say it right, if they say it in the truthful manner- in a manner intended to hurt you... you?

So you thought back to the night the two of you first kissed. He said, the right place at the right time... that's all you were to him. A girl, who was there for him to use. A girl, he had no feelings for, not close to what you felt for the past few months. He kissed you and touched you, he had seen you naked and it didn't mean anything to him. He meant everything to you.

You were stupid. You thought he loves you. You thought you were special when he kissed you. That he found you attractive, beatiful- as he had said but you were just a day given opportunity.

If there was a monster that day, there, he would have kissed it. Because it was just there. Not because it cared for him, because it was his brother's best friend and it had trusted him with itself- no because the monster was just there, by the lake, at the same time like him.

Nothing. You meant... nothing.

---

Grey... the colours were grey. Every single one of them was gray, different shades of it. You promised yourself, you wouldn't let anybody affect you but you couldn't help the feeling in your chest, this soul sucking hole causing your whole body to ache. It felt as if your heart wasn't even there. He ripped it out and destroyed it.

You barely woke up, but you had to... for school. You had to go to school. Not that you cared anymore. You simply just existed. It was as if you couldn't remember when you got out of bed and when you got back into it. Time flew by like it didn't exist at all.

You didn't even know when one week passed by. It just did and nothing much mattered. You sat behind your desk and wrote your Transfiguration paper. It was when you were almost done when he altered your brain and there was the big pain in your throat. You swallowed it, closed your eyes and felt them burn.

You have to finish this. - you thought.

So you did and you forced him away. As soon as you did, you went to the bathroom and washed yourself. Then simply crawled to bed at six pm. It was your ruitine since then. You took a journal, you wrote it down, realising you cannot write things down without crying, so you grabbed the pillow and pushed it to your chest. You squeezed it so tightly in the meaning to place it into the empty hole in your chest.

It didn't cover, so you cried anyway. You did. No matter how hard you tried, you cried.

You don't remember what you talked with your roommates. You plastered a smile and nodded but avoided pretty much everybody.

Everything was a no for you.

A walk? - No.

Hogsmeade? - No.

Dinner? - No.

Study group? - No.

Roommates were a nice distraction but it wasn't enough for the pain. Even when James sent you a note, you always replied with a no. It was automatic by now. You said you had to study or that you were tired. You needed time for yourself. You needed to find your self-worth again because for the past months, you let your happiness depend on one person and that person just took all that happiness away from you.

So what you needed? It was work and sleep.

---

James knew you were heartbroken. He knew he was the annoying sibling but he wasn't used to being annoyed by you. You had always kept your emotions to yourself. The two of you weren't close emotionally but you had your own share of fun together. When he asked Remus when everything started, it was just around the time your bond started to get better. The two of you would spend much time together and you weren't so stuck up or annoyed at any slight inconvinience.

He never saw that side of you. The one that was emotionally opened to him. He didn't know it was Remus the sole reason for that. You were happy, excited and... well, in love. But it was the wrong person. Remus has something that he didn't wish for you to deal with. You were always the rebel of the family. He was the golden child but you were your own person. You didn't talk back t your parents as he did but you did all the things that you wanted. You did everything you wanted. That was your own magic. You were a rebel but you were a kind and understanding person.

James is the tough one in the group. He is the leader, the great one... even in your own family, he is the golden one, the perfect one but you always understood him the way nobody else did. You saw him, behind all of that facade. He loved being around you. You were his safe place. You were... his sister. The sister who gave him all the unsolicited advice and was there for him when nobody else was.

He didn't see much of you and most of the time you ignored his letters and messages. The times he did catch up to you, you excused yourself to go study and he knew you were furius at him because at times, you'd snap at him, throwing harsh words at him.

He knew you were sad and heartbroken but he also knew you'd move on sooner rather than later. You were just dramatic. Women always are.

It was to his surprise when he walked into the classroom and saw you sitting at one of the tables, laughing and smiling with a Ravenclaw his age.

It was Newt's and you were one year behind- so there was no reason you should be there.

Remus was more surprised than James. If he was bound to find out, he couldn't do it now. The protocol was to sit down and take the exam. No talking, no turning around but nothing could make him focus without knowing the truth about your attendence at this exam.

He could hear the professor something whisper in your ear but he couldn't understand it. Maybe, the professor realised you weren't supposed to be there either.

But nothing happened. You mumbled back and you stayed.

It was up until the exam was over when he turned around to see your chair empty, your robe disappearing behind the door. He ran after you but James had already caught up.

The two of you were already arguing.

"What do you mean you're graduating early?" James bulged his eyes out.

Graduating early?- Remus thought. You? Why would you ever graduate early, you hated studying.

"Why not? I've already taken most of the exams and I passed. McGonagall said if I roll up my sleeves and grab the whole thing, I can do it but the chance is small. Yet, here I am." you smiled and that twinkle in your eye that was known to more people to be the twinkle of up to no good.

What were you up to?

"You can't. You don't have any recommendations- not- no." James couldn't piece it together.

"Yes. I'm graduating and I am moving to southern Europe and I am never stepping foot in England ever again."

"Southern Europe?!" James shouted in disbelief. "You're shitting me?"

"I'm not. I have a plan to leave. I always had."

"That was your fairy tale. To live in Italy or Greece or some shit." he started to laugh.

"To be away from here." you said angrly. "I hate it here. I always had."

"No." said James.

"Yes..." mumbled Remus but nobody heard him due to the loud arguing between siblings.

You always said about leaving when the two of you were together. The beach, the culture... you said you felt as if nobody supported you here. The rebel of the family. You confided into him about how you felt there was zero effort made to make something out of you. All attention was always on James and that made you rebel in your family. You didn't want to be like James but everybody forced you to be at least somewhat like him. You said, how people take you for granted, underrating your power.

I guess, this was you taking your power into control.

Before he knew it, you were storming one way and James the other but unlike last time. He chose to follow you.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" he shouted behind you.

"Watch me." you turned around to see him then back around to turn a corner.

He caught up and took a hold of your hand but you snapped it away as soon as it touched you.

Of course, you wanted to see him. Of course, you wanted to talk to him, you craved him but you were furius beside all things. God, you could have screamed at him right now and hug him at the same time.

"You can't do this because you're angry at me. Don't take it on James." he started but you laughed.

"You think, I'm doing this for you?" you laughed, poking his chest with your finger. "I just grabbed the opportunity, Remus. I was just there, at the right place at the right time." you lowered your voice, quoting him.

"Come on- you don't know the whole background-"

"No, you know what Remus. I chose you. I fucking chose you to be my first. That means that I decided to trust you with my soul as well as my body and trusting people isn't easy for me." you continued. "I let you in- quite literally- but I thought we were something and you surely played the role to make me feel that way." you smiled forcefully, hiding away the feeling in your chest. You had no idea how a heart that is no longer there can still break.

"I really cared about you. I still do."

"You moved on, two weeks after us." you finally let him show a bit of your emotions. "Two fucking weeks and another girl was under your arm- God fuck, Remus. The hell is wrong with you."

"A lot..."

"Fuck you for playing the victim all the time." you pushed him hard. "Fuck you- fuck you- fuck you!" you continued to shout angrily. "I won't play the victim because I am not one. I'm moving on- away from fuckheads like you." you spat out. "Because you could have had somebody who would have loved you for everything that you are. You won't find anybody who will be prepared to love you as much as I was. Remember that, Remus Lupin. You won." you threw your hands up in defeat and walked away.

And it was one of those things that stick with you. It stuck with Remus because he didn't see you anywhere else anymore. Neither did James. He didn't know whether you were dead or alive. The graduation, they both looked for you but nowhere.

You disappeared from his life and it was until then when his life started to fall apart for him. You told me he could be whatever he wanted to be- even an auror. You supported him the way nobody else could and you accepted every flaw. He knew you would love him even more if he told you his secret but he thought.... he thought the two of you would stay friends. He thought, he had time with you. He thought he would appologise and the two of you would eventually talk.

He needed somebody. He needed somebody to talk to- always. Sirius was in Azkaban and James was dead. And all he could think about was needing you.

#marauders #marauders imagine #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #marauders era #remus lupin x reader #james potter #james potter imagine

[floralseokjin]

⤑ 9 months to fall in love 22.

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 5,057

warnings/includes (!) IT’S TIME! GLOB IS COMING!!!! 

⟶ ao3 link

*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’

note; The Astronaut is 1000% playing while they have their little slow dance during the party 🤧 Also, for visuals: here is the inspo for the photoshoot outfit and here’s inspo for the tux! 

↪︎ series index

SEASON THREE ⇤ previous | next ⇥

The next few weeks flew by. 

It took a while for you to stop feeling so shaken up by the accident, and even now, you still felt slightly nervous being inside a car. You knew you couldn’t let the irrational fear consume you, especially with your life soon to take on a new importance, so you tried hard to work past it, talking it through with your therapist during the online sessions you were still having. The collision had purely been an accident, a split-second mistake made by the other driver, a lapse in his judgment. You couldn’t give it the chance to control you. You were stronger than that. Plus, you had so many better things to concentrate on. Seokjin, your friends, your bettering relationship with your family. Your daughter. 

At first, being on maternity leave was jarring. You’d worked fulltime ever since you’d graduated university, so having countless days and days to yourself took some getting used to. Seokjin joked that you needed to make the most of it, because once Sarang got here you both wouldn’t know peace again. It was a strange thought, but not disagreeable. She might have been the surprise you’d never known you wanted, but you’d been practically ready and eager from the start. Seokjin, too. 

You busied yourself with some more decorating of the house at first. Minor decorating. You couldn’t do much, but dotting a few art pieces or photos around, placing a vase on an end table, and laying out a few rugs here and there didn’t use much energy. Until it did. It felt like you were getting heavier and heavier by the day, the weight of Glob weighing you down and warping your axis of balance. You tried your best to keep active, going into the centre of the city a couple of times, and when you couldn’t manage that – not that you managed it well pre-pregnancy – you settled on small walks around your new neighbourhood. Seokjin joined you in the evenings sometimes, but mostly on the weekend. He was still working himself silly ready for his paternity leave, which meant that you were both in bed by 9pm most nights. 

In fact, as well as going to bed early, you liked a nap in the middle of the day too, falling asleep on the couch, where you spent most of the day watching boxset upon boxset. You’d already completed a rewatch of one of your favourite shows, finding it even funnier than the first time a couple of years ago. Now, you were starting something new. A sitcom. You found laughing was the way to go in these trying times, but it also weakened your bladder even more. You’d also started playing BT21 – your bump was a great rest for the handheld console. You’d never been into gaming, but you were becoming mildly addicted slash emotionally unstable, crying at how cute all the animal characters were. 

On the weekends, you and Seokjin bulk cooked meals to freeze. What started off as a fun domesticated activity soon turned into a bind. The good news was that you now had enough food to last at least three months and had stocked up on enough dried goods to avoid starving during a zombie apocalypse. But hopefully that didn’t happen now that you were so close to giving birth. 

The nursery was complete, the beautiful crib the main feature. You kept finding any old excuse to step inside and gaze around – not that you needed an excuse. You spent quite a few hours organising and reorganising Sarang’s chest of drawers, folding and refolding all her little onesies and cute outfits. You made sure to dust and wipe down surfaces often, wanting everything to be squeaky clean for her arrival. Your hospital bag had long been packed, on countdown inside your bedroom. Before long, there wasn’t very long to wait at all! 

One of the worst things to deal with, now that you were in such a late stage of pregnancy, were the nights. Maybe that’s why you were napping so much in the day. No position was comfortable – and positions were limited in the first place. Your bump had reached its limits, you couldn’t go any bigger you were certain. You tried to help yourself by wedging pillows under your bump and between your legs to ease the pressure. It worked to a certain extent, but then leg cramps would set in and you had to move around, trying to get comfy all over again. Then you needed to pee, so it was back and forth to the bathroom. Then Sarang decided she wanted to wiggle. 

It was no wonder you were a little irritable these days, all things considered. Tonight, you and Seokjin had gone to bed not talking to one another after you’d snapped at him over making dinner. He’d come home later than usual to find you in the kitchen, instantly ordering you out. When you’d refused, the exasperated look on his face made you see red. You didn’t expect him to come home after a long day of work and start dinner immediately. You were pregnant, not decrepit, and making a simple stir fry wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility. 

You’d made the stupid stir fry in the end, and then the both of you had eaten in stony silence across from one another. You rarely argued, but you were both fans of the silent treatment when you did. Both stubborn too, it was impossible to know who would break first. As it were, Seokjin was the one to fold tonight. 

“____, what’s wrong?” he asked into the darkness, voice thick with sleep but prickled with concern. 

It wasn’t a surprise that you’d managed to wake him up. You’d already been to the bathroom twice, readjusted your pillows five times, and thrown your head back in frustration maybe ten. 

“Nothing,” you mumbled. Which was a lie. As well as being horrifically uncomfortable, you felt guilty for earlier, which was only marginally overshadowing your annoyance over Seokjin being able to sleep soundly while you tossed and turned. 

Seokjin shifted onto his side, one hand reaching for you and grazing your hip. “Can’t get to sleep?” 

“No.” Mortified, the word sobbed from you, and just like that you were crying. 

“Hey,” he said softly, gathering you in his arms as best he could. You were still uncomfortable but feeling him hold you made it better. “You’re okay.” He rubbed your back soothingly. 

“I’m being stupid,” you sniffed into his chest, getting his pyjama shirt wet. 

Moving your hair off your forehead, he kissed a spot he could reach. “You’re not. You’re tired and uncomfortable.” His palm felt really good stroking between your shoulder blades. “Close your eyes and think of something relaxing.”  

“All I have to think about is the impending horrors of childbirth.” 

Seokjin didn’t reply, probably realising there was nothing he could say to that. He’d seen the videos too. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” you added.

“I’m sorry too,” he sighed softly. “I had a stressful day.” You hated that he was working so hard while simultaneously knowing you would be beyond happy and grateful once your daughter was born. You were ready to tag team Sarang’s first month in this world. 

“If you can’t sleep, neither will I,” Seokjin announced a few moments later. 

“Now you’re the one being stupid.” 

He barked a laugh, loud in the middle of the night. Then, fondly, “I love you.” 

You smiled against him. You would never get sick of hearing that. It was just three small words, but you knew Seokjin meant them deeply every time. And so did you. “I love you, too.”

A couple of weeks ago, Seokjin got the front page on one of the most well-known business magazines. You didn’t know who had been more excited, you or everyone else who adored him. Definitely not him anyway. Seokjin handled it with his usual Seokjin modesty, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. You had a copy on your nightstand and another on the coffee table in the best living room. Yeonja even bought a copy for her coffee table, and Mari too! She messaged you a picture on the day it came out. Seokjin had a lot of fans. It was no wonder when you saw his photoshoot. Fashionable in his beige turtleneck and grey suit, he looked objectively handsome. There was no issue of being biased, your man seriously was that good looking! And wonderful. You’d read the part where they mentioned you and Sarang (not by name) in his interview at least a dozen times, and it never failed to put a massive grin on your face (and shed a tear or two.) Plus, reading the interviewer praise him made you inexplicably happy. 

Having taken up most of his twenties and half of his thirties, Alpaca Gaming Studios has been his life, but it’s time to concentrate on more personal matters. After falling in love earlier this year, there’s a baby on the way, and Seokjin is ready to gradually take a step back from work. “She’s the most amazing person I know,” he says about his partner, sounding smitten. “I want to spend as much time with my family as possible. I can’t wait to become a father.” He’s unable to fight the grin on his face. 

Staunchly private, he won’t reveal much about his relationship, but his beaming face is proof of how in love he is. His company still means the world to him, but he is very aware that it could shine just as hard without him – his words, not mine! I am inclined to disagree. AGS has obviously become what it is because of the man sat in front of me. Politely spoken and painfully modest, it seems almost impossible that he is CEO of one of the world’s most popular video game companies. Not to mention, Kim is quite unnervingly handsome. It’s practically unfair. He laughs when I tell him this, turning red. 

“Nothing like that,” he’s quick to correct, when I ask him if he plans on stepping down. Then jokes, “I’ll give everyone I know a heart attack if they read this. I can’t see myself stepping down any time soon.”  

It’s another one of his charms. To be serious and subsequently dilute it with a joke. Not everyone could pull it off, and Seokjin does so numerous times during this interview. His charisma is something else! 

“We’re a team at AGS, a family” he continues, “and they are way more talented than I could ever be.” He chuckles self-deprecatingly, somehow making it attractive. “I have no doubt that if I ever did decide to retire, they’d do just fine without me. There’s my second in command, after all.” 

He’s mentioned his secretary slash best friend Jung Hoseok numerous times throughout this interview and insists he wouldn’t be here now without him. In fact, he wouldn’t be here now without a number of people. It’s obvious that he genuinely believes that. There is nothing false about Kim Seokjin. His gratitude and humility are two more admirable qualities that make this man hard to judge or criticise. 

The mention of Seokjin stepping down from CEO one day had shocked you at first. Making plans for his month-long paternity leave was one thing, but to talk about gradually distancing himself from his role was something he’d never even mentioned. He was quick to reassure you that he wasn’t seriously thinking any of that, his mouth just had a habit of running away from him during nerve-wracking situations like a global magazine interview. It was true that he wanted to take more time for you and Sarang, not work such long hours, and to have stress-free weekends, but he wasn’t ready to leave everything he still loved so much. At least not right now. Who knows what the future holds, he told you. Maybe five years from now we’ll have Glob No.2 and I won’t want to step into the office ever again.

You liked thinking of the future these days. Of your future with him and Sarang…and Glob No.2. (But no No.3 like he’d also suggested!) Before the future never used to cross your mind, but you had so many new things to look forward to now. Your relationship, your baby, Yuna and Jimin’s wedding! Life was exciting and constantly changing, filled with things that had never crossed your mind this time last year. It was a great feeling, even when you struggled to stand on your feet for more than ten minutes right now…

As Seokjin’s 35th birthday was going to be overshadowed by Sarang’s arrival into this world, his parents insisted on celebrating early. It was a multitude of celebrations to tell the truth: Jin’s birthday, his interview, Sarang’s imminent arrival, the last hoorah before said arrival. 

Seokjin knew about it of course, he didn’t very much like surprises, and Mikyung had kept you updated every step of the way because you were too exhausted to help organise a thing. In fact, you were probably too exhausted to even attend the party. You were 39 weeks pregnant and hadn’t done much movement in over a week. You moved from the bedroom to the sofa, to the kitchen, to the sofa, to the bedroom again at the end of the day. It wasn’t a very fun existence, so with cutthroat determination, you were attending your man’s birthday party. Even if you sat down for most of the night and begged to go home by 8pm. 

Yuna did your hair and make-up, and even your nails. If the last few weeks of pregnancy had taught you anything, it was that you could get used to the kind of life where people did everything for you. You were due for a harsh reality check in ten days’ time, because your role was going to be well and truly reversed. You’d folded yourself into a grey velvet wrap dress, complete with chunky socks, before sliding your swollen feet into a trusty pair of Crocs – black this time. Fashion was the last thing on your mind at the moment, which was heart-breaking for the likes of you, but if you were being honest, it had taken a backseat a long time ago. 

The venue was stunning. Mikyung really had pulled out all the stops for her Seokjinie, the theme winter wonderland-esque in gold and creams. There was even an outdoor area decorated much the same, with the gazebo draped in string lights that twinkled in the dark. You wouldn’t be caught outside in mid-November weather, but each to their own. While the party was in the development stages, it had been a toss-up between a three-course meal or a buffet. In the end, down to a committee vote, buffet had won, which you were ecstatic about because you loved a good ol’ buffet. Jungkook was chuffed too and sat next to you munching on two plates piled high with every option available. 

The guest list wasn’t excessive, but it did include a few family members and friends you hadn’t met yet, and Seokjin introduced you to them with a very loving “this is my ____.” It made you beam and feel almost drunk, which you were most definitely not. Somewhere along the line you lost him, but you were in no condition to go and find him. Instead, you sat down at the corner table you’d nabbed for your own, and watched everyone having fun, amused and quietly laughing to yourself. It made you happy that there were so many people here celebrating Seokjin. 

Your brother was poking around what was left of the buffet, and your father and Yeonja were slow dancing together in the middle of the dancefloor. When the song changed abruptly, you watched them break apart awkwardly, unsure of how to continue. Your sister was sat on the opposite side of the room, on her phone, but occasionally you caught her glancing up and watching Hoseok who was now busting out some moves while Kang struggled to keep up. (Fun fact: Hoseok was a trained street dancer. You’d found out tonight.) Ah, not only was he way too old for her, but he was also gay. Maybe she’d realise both on her own, if not you’d let her down gently later. Jungkook was dancing with Haram. She was laughing as he spun her around. They both looked like they were having fun, which was nice to witness. It was a far cry from their behaviour at your dinner party all those weeks ago. 

Seokjin’s brother and wife were dancing with Taeoh and Jiu. His parents must be outside – crazy people. Namjoon and Yeeun were sat on a table; he whispered in her ear and made her giggle. Mari walked over, unintentionally interrupting them. Yuna and Jimin were nowhere to be seen. 

While deep in concentration, a figure suddenly leaned over you, blocking your view, and you looked up to see a joyful looking Seokjin. His face was flushed and his eyes shiny, but he wasn’t drunk. Now that you were close to the end, he refused to touch even a drop of alcohol. Just in case. 

He held out his hand. “Care to dance with me, my beautiful lady?” 

“How about a shuffle?” 

He chuckled. “I would want nothing more than to shuffle with you.” 

With a grin, you took his hand, and he helped your stiff body up. You needed to dance at least once, or just get on the dancefloor. Thankfully, the song changed as you got there, something slow and meaningful again. You looped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his around your waist and started to sway slowly. He looked hot in a tux. If you had the energy, you’d rough it up later tonight. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the case. 

“Happy early birthday,” you said, kissing him. 

One of Seokjin’s palms slid to your bump as he smiled against your mouth. He pulled back slightly. “I’m looking forward to my early gift.” 

“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” You didn’t know what it was, possibly the lyrics in the song you were dancing to, but the love you felt for him seemed to want to burst out of you. 

“I do know that,” he replied, his smile turning into a cheeky grin. “I love you more, though.” 

Laughing at how ridiculous he was, you gazed into one another’s eyes and continued to slow dance, Sarang in the middle. Even when the song shifted. Neither of you cared that you weren’t in time to the music. But before long, Yuna appeared at your side, tugging your arm. 

“I’m stealing your woman,” she told Seokjin, who knew not to put up too much of a fight. She dragged you into the centre of the room. “I’ve been waiting for you to get on the floor all night!” 

Well, she best make the most of it because she had exactly three more minutes before you gave out. You weren’t even moving your feet as she held your hands and moved your arms up and down, but you were both having fun, laughing and making noise. You span her around at one point, then felt a throb in your lower back. That was it. 

“Yuna, I can’t do anymore,” you shouted over the music, one hand clutching the offending area. 

“Party pooper!” she yelled, but she was grinning as she said it, kissing your cheek before you hobbled off, your feet killing you. 

You made your way back to your corner, flopping down on the chair with a groan. Seokjin had disappeared again, but you didn’t mind. You needed five. Unless your bladder decided it wanted to be emptied again. You’d spent enough of your time in the restroom already. As you were sending a silent prayer to your bladder, you felt a twinge low in your stomach. You didn’t think much of it as you’d been experiencing similar things for a few days anyway. At your last doctor’s appointment, it had been confirmed that your bump had dropped, and Dr. Choi had said you might start experiencing some aches and twinges here and there as labour drew closer. 

However, that twinge did feel a lot stronger, and your back was burning, but maybe it was because you’d been more active tonight than you had been for days – weeks even. As you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your lower back continued to throb. Your pain was interrupted by Kang coming over. He was breathing hard and sweat was beading from his hairline. The chair scraped across the floor as he threw himself down. “Not feeling it either?” you asked through gritted teeth. 

“Hoseok doesn’t even know I’m gone,” he laughed weakly, then furrowed his brow when he took you in. “You okay?” 

“I think I’ve hit my limit tonight,” you admitted, rubbing the underside of your bump. Maybe you should go find Seokjin and tell him you were going home. He could stay here, you didn’t mind, and you didn’t want to ruin his night. You were sure your dad could take you back, he hadn’t been drinking either because he had to drive back to the hotel he, Yeonja and your siblings were staying at for the night. 

“Should I ask one of the waiting staff for some water?” Kang asked, sounding concerned. 

You shook your head. “I’m fine.” Then belatedly remembered your manners. “Thank you.” 

Kang didn’t look like he believed you. 

“THERE YOU ARE!” Hoseok’s screech of a voice made you both jump, and you winced. Shit, your back felt as if it was on fire. “Don’t think you can sneak away from me, lover,” he told Kang, pulling at his hands. “Come dance again!” He noticed you then. “Hey, ____!” Then noticed your expression, instantly worried. “What’s wrong?” 

You sucked in a breath. “Nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing,” Kang said. He leaned over, brows knitted together. “Are you sure you’re all right? You look like you’re in pain.” 

You felt another—something. “I just—it’s just twinges.” They both saw your grimace. This wasn’t just a twinge. It was going on for a little longer, something inside you clenching. Stomach muscles maybe, or something else… “I should find Seokjin.” You jumped up with a buoyancy you didn’t know you had anymore, panic and pain driving your body. 

“Maybe he stepped outside. Let me—” 

Kang stopped abruptly when the sound of liquid splashed on the floor. There wasn’t much of it, and it was a similar sound to when you had a mug of tea filled too full and some slid over the brim and onto the floor as you walked. Only it was coming from between your legs, so it wasn’t tea. And you weren’t holding a mug. 

“Is that…?” The colour drained from Hoseok’s face, which did nothing for your nerves. You stared wide-eyed at Kang. You needed him right now. He was a nurse. He could make sense of the situation. Had you peed yourself? It wouldn’t be the first time. 

“____, don’t panic,” Kang began calmly, “but I think you might be in labour.” 

“I can’t be.” You shook your head, adamant. Or maybe it was because you couldn’t be going into labour here. Surrounded by your family and friends and even some people you didn’t know. “I’m not due yet. My doctor said I might feel some—things but I—” 

“____, your waters have broken,” Kang interrupted. Firmer this time. 

“Oh God, not here.” You crumbled, heart starting to race ninety to the dozen.

“Sit back down,” he ordered softly, getting you back down into the chair. You felt damp between your legs and your socks felt slightly wet and gross. “Hoseok, go and find Jin – as discreetly as possible,” he added, looking around. 

Good. The last thing you wanted to do was gain attention. But for how long that would be possible, you had no idea. You were in labour in the middle of a party. 

“On it,” Hoseok nodded purposefully and disappearing. 

No sooner had he gone, Jungkook was appearing in his place. “What’s going on here?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “ ____, wanna dance?” 

“I don’t think she’s up to it right now,” Kang replied, his hand on your back. 

Jungkook’s eyes widened as he took you in, and got wider when he noticed the floor. “Oh shit. Are you having the baby?” 

“She’s in labour, yes,” Kang answered for you. 

“Where’s Jin?” 

“Hobi went to find him.” He tugged on Jungkook’s suit jacket. “Come here, crowd a little so people don’t realise what’s going on.” 

Obliging, he hid you from view, the front of his shoe in your amniotic fluid! You made a strangled noise, but he didn’t seem to care. “Are you okay?” he asked, and he sounded panicked. 

“Sort of,” you winced, moving a little because of your back. “I’m a little mortified if anything.” 

In truth, you couldn’t quite believe it was happening. Surely you would have realised earlier? And surely you should be in more pain? You mean, yes, you were in pain right now, but shouldn’t it be worse? Or maybe it just hadn’t kicked in properly yet. Oh God, the thought made you nervous. Your hand was shaking as you brought it over your mouth, breathing out slowly. 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Jungkook insisted. “I guess Sarang wanted to be a part of the fun too.” 

You managed a smile, grateful he was trying to make a joke. “Fuck, I really hope she won’t be born right here right now.” 

“You have a good few hours yet,” Kang reassured, still rubbing your back. “Don’t worry—” 

“____!” Seokjin exclaimed, racing towards you, shoes skidding on the floor. There was nothing discreet about the father of your baby. Not that you cared right now, you just wanted him. 

You reached out for him in panic, gripping his hand as he got closer. “Seokjin, she’s coming!” 

Kang moved so Seokjin could take his seat. “This suddenly?” he asked, taking over rubbing your back. You knew what he was thinking. He’d only seen you twenty minutes ago. His eyes were wide, his breathing coming out in loud puffs. 

“My back’s been aching more than usual today,” you started babbling. “I didn’t realise at first, I just thought it was—” You stopped when you felt another tightening sensation and looked up at Kang. “Are these contractions?” 

He nodded. “You’ve probably been in latent labour for a few hours.” 

Seokjin let out a shaky sigh. “We need to get to the birthing centre.” 

“Call first,” Kang advised. “You might get there just to be sent home otherwise.” 

“But she’s in labour!” Jungkook cried, then immediately clamped is jaw shut. Kang looked around but there was no one near your corner. Most people were on the dancefloor or outside. 

“Let’s go somewhere quieter at least,” Seokjin said, stroking some of your hair. “Yeah?” he murmured, kissing your cheek. 

You nodded, thankful. You didn’t want to be inside here one second longer. “Where are our parents?” 

“They’re all sat in the gazebo. Jiu’s running around like Road Runner out there. She’s even tiring Taeoh out.” 

Despite the situation, that got a laugh out of you. Jiu was getting confident on her tiny, little feet now. She was turning into a terror. 

“I’ll go let them know. You go,” Hoseok said. 

Seokjin smiled. “Thanks, Hobi.” He helped you up carefully. “Come on, let’s get you in the car. I’ll call the centre from there.” Leaning on him, he kissed your temple. “You’re okay,” he murmured.

“I’m okay,” you confirmed, psyching yourself up more than anything. You could do this. You had this. 

Kang stayed behind to wait for Hoseok while Jungkook followed you both as you tried to make a quick and undiscovered exit. You made it out the room successfully before you remembered something – no wait, someone. You clutched Seokjin’s arm. “Wait, where’s Yuna? I need her.” You needed your best friend. 

Jungkook looked back into the party. “I’ll go find her.” 

It was cold outside, but it was nice. You felt as if you’d been boiling up inside. You sat in the passenger’s seat of Seokjin’s car with the door open as he crouched in front of you, stroking up and down your thighs. 

“____! Oh my God,” Yuna cried, bursting out of the building, Jimin and Kang at her heels. The latter had your coat. 

“Yuna, a bit quieter,” Seokjin hissed, standing up. 

“Sorry,” she panted, her handbag gripped in her fingers. “Oh my God.” She got down low on the floor, replacing Seokjin. “Glob is coming!”

“I’m aware.” You felt another twinge—no, contraction—and held yourself rigid. 

She fussed over you a minute while Seokjin paced behind her. Jimin and Kang were talking quietly among themselves. “Did your waters break?” she asked. They didn’t for some, and you’d both been wondering if it would happen for you. 

“Yes. Oh shit, the floor!” Your neck snapped up and you stared over at Kang. 

“Jungkook asked someone for a mop and bucket, don’t worry. He said it was champagne.” 

Before you could squawk in horror – although, you had to admit that was very sweet of him to do that for you to avoid mortification – Seokjin’s phone started ringing. As he moved closer to you, you heard his mom’s frantic voice, but couldn’t make anything out. 

“It’s fine, mom. Everything’s fine,” Seokjin told her evenly, shooting calmness through your veins. If he could stay in one piece, so could you. Maybe. 

“I’m going to call the centre to see if we can check in. I’ll call you when I know more, all right?” His mother responded with something and he chuckled. “I will, don’t worry… Tell Minsoo and Yeonja she’s doing okay, please… Thank you. I better go. Bye.” 

Seokjin immediately got up the contact for the birth centre but made sure to check on you before he hit call, even as Yuna buzzed between you both. You squeezed his hand, trying to stay calm despite everything. The time had finally come, you were going to have your baby.  

Written 2022 - 2023. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2023

#seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #fic:9mtfil #floralseokjin:writings

[emblazons]

i’m about a month late to the ffvii rebirth fanfare but i saw your study/shot comparison for the ending while scrolling through some tags and was really curious to see if you had come up with any more conclusions since then! i just finished it a couple days ago and still reeling from it and have been enjoying hearing people’s thoughts about what the heck they think is going on. obvs cloud is not ok, but i’m still trying to decide just how much of what we’re seeing is due to his sanity going out the window and how much of it (if any) is aerith actually speaking to him and/or sephiroth messing with him. the way he tells the rest of the party to not look up at the sky though and none of them see what he sees, just clues them all in to the fact that he isn’t entirely all there anymore. a collective very concerned side-eye lol. somebody help him pls.

!!! oh friend, you're in a TON of luck: I actually started a few different commentaries on how I saw the ending on this weeks back, but didn't post them because I got distracted by other fandoms? I'm more than happy to share them though—not as developed as they could be, but some congealing of where my mind went upon finishing the game and rewatching the gameplay.

forewarning: FFVII ending spoilers + a long af post lmao

So I wrote this on my twitter (where I go to see things only on twt lol) the other day because of a bunch of concepts were clarified by the Ultimania + translators, which kinda sums up where my thoughts are:

Which...yeah. As I see it: as of the ending, Aerith is in fact dead in our current world (the one of the player narrative). How I see it, she's died in our primary timeline—though likely "alive" in the same way Zack is in some other timeline, in addition to her connection to every "universe" through the power of her connection to the planet as the last Cetra.

The white whispers (which represent Aerith/the will of the planet) as well as the “confluence of world” colors we see with Sephiroth are all around when Cloud supposedly “sees her alive" during the classic death scene—

—an indicator that the event itself was the "confluence" Sephiroth was trying to achieve, with Cloud experiencing several versions of it due to his own connection to Sephiroth/the lifestream/his fragmented mind. We see this both in what Sephiroth says around the event itself....and also the contrasting experiences of our party with what Cloud sees in the moment (+ through end of the game).

As I see it, Cloud’s consciousness by the end of FFVII:R-II is fully fractured; throughout both Remake & Rebirth he is already seeing visions affected by Sephiroth’s influence on the planet (the black whispers, the way hooded men and thin air turn into Sephiroth before his eyes)—and now, during the “confluence of emotions / worlds / reunion” mentioned (Aerith's death), Cloud’s already broken mind is slipping further into seeing “the middle space” of the worlds joined and prepared for destruction by Sephiroth in real time, rather than following the timeline of events in the world we play—a la the post that inspired your ask. :)

All that said: the reason he’s seeing Aerith (not just sensing her the way Red does in his own Lifestream connection) is because she’s a Cetra, and now (in death) the embodiment of the positive!Will of Gaia across worlds—so because of Cloud's connection to that "middle space" / ability to traverse different versions of reality because of his connection to Sephiroth, Cloud is interacting with her presence…despite it not being there for anyone else.

It’s also why he can see the sky split no one else can.

ADDITIONALLY:

The Aerith we see fight alongside Cloud in the final battle and the one we see walking around everyone as Cid fixes the plane…that’s the spirit of her person (think the Aerith of Advent Children). Aerith didn’t live this game—her spirit can communicate because of Sephiroth's successful confluence, though she’s ALSO "alive" in the same way Zack and Biggs are to us: aka she died in the world she was in but still exists in others, which Sephiroth confirms/explains both when Aerith pulls Cloud into another “doomed” world—

when he’s trying to manipulate Cloud in the Lifestream—

and when you’re fighting Sephiroth alongside Aerith in the void during the final battle (after she’s died).

Even so, Aerith “living on” as the last Cetra/the spirit of the planet + someone with access to multiple worlds through the "reunion" means she’s now as able to infiltrate Cloud's ongoing visions as Sephiroth is...and is likely trying to keep him even somewhat present despite his clearly fractured mind.

I think that’s implied repeatedly by through the hollow Holy Materia (implying both Aerith is no longer “there,” but still present + that cloud himself is now hollow)—

—and why/how the Black Materia (Sephiroth) is still manipulating him and very much driving his fractured thoughts, visions and actions.

As for the rest of the party: it's because no one but his “vessel-connected-to-Sephiroth” self (+ now dead-but-living-on-in-the-Lifestream Aerith) has any idea what he learned about worlds in the Lifestream that what’s happening to Cloud is lost on everyone (and why they look painfully concerned), and also why spirit!Aerith repeatedly gives him reminders to 1) not listen to Sephiroth and 2) focus on finding himself again.

All that said: because Cloud’s actual self is already slipping away from our present game TL by the second half of the game, it will have to be retrieved and rearranged—which we know will happen in game 3 (assuming you know the original FF7 plot where Tifa rearranges him in the Lifesteam) but that has to be changed from “Cloud finds out about Zack and finally cracks" because Cloud already knows about Zack in some capacity by the middle of Rebirth.

I personally think this sets us up for a really interesting resolution in that Tifa is going to probably have spirit!Aerith’s help putting Cloud back together in the Lifestream in game 3—and that she will likely play a bigger part in helping Cloud “find himself” in his own world again because it’s been made more apparent that she’s a full consciousness in the Lifestream/able to affect multiple worlds now because of Sephiroth completing the first step in his plan. That's more just hopeful on my part going into the next game than something rooted in analysis though.

But yes! those are my thoughts! I hope this gives you (more than a little) something. Feel free to ask if something isn’t clear though lol this was like 4 different half-done drafts combined 😂 Regardless, ty so much for the ask / giving me a reason to post them!

#I hope this made even one (1) iota of sense. I can clarify in a full post later if you'd like because this was a lot of bits and bobs LOL #still. its been made clear by Nomura and Co she is no longer with us at least in THIS world #and context clues as to when cloud sees her + the streak in the sky + the visions of sephiroth etc...his connection to Sephiroth #through Mako/SOLDIER/something similar to the Sephiclones is why he's out here going THROUGH IT #as Sephiroth converges the world. at least in MY reading #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough #sephiroth #ffvii analysis #ffvii spoilers #ffvii:r spoilers #ffvii #final fantasy #the me tag #asks

[precuredaily]

Precure Daily's Sixth Anniversary

On April 10, 2018, I posted the first review in the project that became Precure Daily. It wasn't actually on tumblr at that time, but on Facebook. The plan was to watch an episode every day and just post some thoughts, but it evolved into reviews and screenshots and that necessitated a whole blog, and here we are. That was six years ago today!

Six years. It's hard to believe. I honestly, truly didn't think I'd still be doing this. Whether I petered out before the end, or managed to get it all done in the 2-3 years I anticipated, I figured I'd have stopped by now. But somehow I haven't given up yet! I'm still watching, still writing, and still getting new fans to share with, and that makes it all worth it.

The past year was slow, I will readily acknowledge it. I only got about 7 reviews out in that time, including the one that just went up earlier today, but one of those was the Go Go movie. That was a whole undertaking, it took me nine months to get out. Granted, for about 6 of those 9 months it was just sitting there unchanged. I'd open it occasionally to poke at it but then not end up getting much done. Maybe it still wasn't the best it could have been but I'm proud of it nonetheless. It was a good review for a good movie. Also, I got to review the very first All Stars, even if it was a short film. Having recently wached the most recent All Stars brings that experience full circle and it's real nice.

One small hiccup is that, at the time of writing, I haven't yet gotten out the traditional Honoka birthday post. I just haven't had time to sit down and gather artwork for it. Hopefully that'll come out in the next day or two!

Outside of the blog, let's look at the wider world of the Precure series over the last year

I said last year that I hadn't finished Delicious Party, and that's still true. When it was on air, I was watching it with a friend and she was really into it; we are going to resume watching together to finally push through it.

HIrogaru Sky's second half was good, it lacked a little bit of the driving power of the first half and the villain plot never properly came together in my opionion. I still love the characters, I think they're my favorite cast in a good while.

I did not watch Otona Precure. Although I've watched Go Go before, I want to finish this current watchthrough for the blog before I jump into it. Maybe I'll even review it as I go, that remains to be seen. I've heard mixed things about it and I'm not very big on the idea that the girls just go back to teenagers when they transform, but I'll reserve judgment.

Wonderful Precure did not appeal to me when information started coming out, and I fell off it for a few weeks when the first couple eps didn't impress me, but I decided to keep going and it's thoroughly enjoyable. I don't think it's going to crack my top 10 but it should be a solid middle of the road series.

I watched the Delicious Party Precure movie and Precure All Stars F with friends in fairly close proximity, and wow do those movies exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. DeliPa's film was one of the weakest Precure movies I've seen, while All Star F was phenomenal. I need to rewatch it.

I did say last year that the blog would look different when I finish Go Go. That is still true. I should be able to wrap that up in a few months, then comes the next phase of things. Deets when it happens.

And also just because I can, here's some recommendations for shows outside of Precure you should watch that came out in the last year-ish:

Oshi no Ko

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a monotone elf)

SPY x FAMILY (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a psychic toddler)

Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger

The Last of Us

And I think that's it for this year's update! Here's to another year of watching and writing about Precure! Thanks as always to my loyal friends and fans for making this project a success: @sailorzombiestar, @vertixscribe, PaintedOutlaw, @hanasaki-tsubomi, yugimon135 (can't tag you for some reason), and my newest fan @nono-bunny.

Here's all my previous sappy anniversary posts if you want to go back and read them.

First Anniversary

Second Aniversary

Third Anniversary

Fourth Anniversary

Fifth Anniversary

#PCD anniversary #PCD sixth anniversary #read this

[tennisracketpacket]

"𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐟𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮" - 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫!

author's note: this is a little bonus short story because I just rewatched Strangers Things. I haven't really been able to find any fanfics with Steve x Sinclair! so I decided to write my own. Hope you enjoy! <3

my masterlist

part two

warnings: kissing, cheesiness, cuteness, bad dance moves

word count: 1.5k

Steve Harrington is my boyfriend. 

It sounded crazy even thinking it, but it was true, and it has been for the past seven months. Although he reassures me that he likes me as much as I like him. Still, my mind wonders how I managed to attain his affections. As I run my fingers through his brown locks with his head on my lap, which he only lets me touch his hair, my overthinking caused my mind to run a million miles per hour with uncertainty. Steve’s warm hand grasps mine that was entangled in his hair, bringing me back to reality. 

“Hey, where’d you go?” He speaks in a low tone. “You're missing the best part,” He rotates so that he lays on his back, looking back up at me. 

“Steve, how many times have we watched Jaws? Like ten times.” His brow furrowed and a frown formed on his face. 

“We’ve only watched it five times, but it’s a classic.” I nod to appease him, playfully rolling my eyes. “But seriously, Y/N, what’s wrong?” Solemness clouds my living room. We’ve had the conversation before but I was still filled with doubts and wavering about our relationship. I shake my head no in response to his question. His hand lifts to cup my face and he gives me a soft smile. 

“You’re cute when you lie,” He coos. I break the intense eye contact and cower away from him, flustered. “I love you,” He admits quietly. At first, I thought I heard him wrong and a puzzled look appears on my face. Steve changes positions once again and sits across from me on the couch. “I love you, Y/N Sinclair.” He repeats. The infamous Jaws music plays in the background of our conversation. “And you don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know.” He stutters. 

“I love you,” I confess after a prolonged silence. “I have for a while now actually.” The reason I couldn’t grasp he was mine, was because of our high school lives. 

Steve never acknowledged my presence. Steve was a dip in high school who only wanted to be popular. But, he was a completely different person back in middle school. We traded the occasional lunch but that was it. That, was basically the only interaction we had other than our slow dance at the Snow Ball. He likely doesn’t remember it because it was so long ago. But ever since, I developed feelings for him that I never thought would be reciprocated. 

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” plays loudly throughout the room. I fiddled with the dress my mother urged me to wear on the bleachers as I watched my friends dance with boys. I slurped my punch sadly. A very prepubescent Steve cleared his throat. I looked up to see his hand held out. 

“May I have this dance?” He smiled, causing one to form on my face. I eagerly nodded and he pulled me onto the dancefloor. That was many years ago.

He cups my face with both of his hands and pulls me toward him. His lips brushed against mine and I closed my eyes, embracing him. Our lips danced in sync with each other, starting out delicate but gradually we sped up, needing more. His hands pulled me onto his lap, with mine wrapping around his neck. 

“Gross,” My little brother’s voice caused me to jump off of Steve’s lap. 

“Oh shut it,” Steve playfully muttered.

“Don’t you have a basketball bench to warm?” I cross my arms. 

“Ha-ha, very funny. You know you have a bedroom to suck face in?” Lucas copies my body language. Steve lets out a laugh but quickly tries to hide it with a serious face when I look at him. “Steve, can you give me a ride to the school for Hellfire?” I scoff offended by his betrayal. 

“But I always give you a ride,” Lucas shrugs.

“Well, do you want to give me a ride?” 

“No, not really,” I laugh and he shakes his head at me. 

“Ok, children let’s go,” Steve grabs his keys from the coffee table and my hand. 

We dropped off Lucas and we sit in the high school parking lot for a while. Steve finally starts the car again and grabs a tape from his center console. The familiar tune filled my ears. I turn towards my boyfriend who is already looking at me. 

“You remembered?” Disbelief stains my voice. His distinguishable and comforting smile is shown on his face. 

“How could I forget?” Turning up the radio, he hastily places a kiss on my cheek and exits the car. I confusedly watch him as he runs around to my side, opening the door. This time a much older and post-pubescent Steve has his hand held out in front of me. “May I have this dance?” He asks me, recreating our previous one. Teary-eyed, I let out a laugh, entangling my fingers with his and he pulls me out his car. I clasp my hands around his neck. His fingers gently wipe away the single tear that escapes from my eye. I smile at my boyfriend once more as his hands settle on my hips. 

“You’re just too good to be true,” He starts singing on key, surprisingly. “Can’t keep my eyes off of you,” We sway side to side in the Hawkins Highschool parking lot with both of Steve’s car doors open. “You’d be like Heaven to touch,” I lay my head on his shoulder as he continues to sing. 

“I had no clue that you could sing, Stevey.” He laughs. 

“I can do a lot of things,” I know for a fact that he had a smirk on his face. Steve throws me out and spins me back in, dipping me. I pant, trying to catch my breath because I didn’t expect any more surprises from him.

“Wow, I got a good deal, didn’t I?” He nods quickly.

“A great one actually,” He helps me up to my feet. Our foreheads meet as we are comforted by each other’s presence. “I love you, baby! And if it’s quite alright I need you, baby, to warm these lonely nights!” Steve pulls away from me and belts out the chorus suddenly. He begins to “dance” but to me, it looks like he’s experiencing a stroke. I laugh as I watch him dance around me, attempting to sing while being out of breath. Grabbing my hands, I join him in his peculiar movement. Our laughter could be heard from miles away but we didn’t seem to care. 

The song comes to an end and we stop our movement, catching our breath. Steve approaches me again with an adorable look on his red face. “I love you so much,” He says, still huffing. His hands hold my face. “I’ll scream it until you believe it. I love you! I love you! I love you, Y/N M/N Sinclair!” I place my hand over his mouth.

“Ok! Ok,” I pause. “I believe you,” He takes my hand off his mouth. 

“Good,” A cheeky smile forms on his face. 

I roll my eyes playfully. “You are such a dork, Steve Harrington.” He gasps offensively placing his hand on his chest as if I had just wounded him. 

“Then you are a dork by association,” He snarkily says, shrugging his shoulders. I pull him by his shirt collar. 

“Shut up,” Our lips entwine. I smile into the kiss causing Steve to pull away. 

“What?” He asks, a worried expression is displayed on his face. I wrap my arms around his neck and shake my head.

“Nothing,” I linger. “I just love you.” Steve’s smile returns and he picks me up, spinning me around, causing a squeal to leave my mouth. We lean in once more to kiss. 

“Ew!” Steve yelps as we hear a voice. Turning towards the voice, we see the whole Hellfire club standing at the front doors of the highschool. My brother’s face displays disgust. 

“And I thought you were the weirdest Sinclair,” Eddie says crossing his arms with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the 100th time tonight. 

Steve mimics Eddie by crossing his arms. “How long have you been there?” 

“Long enough for me to want to gauge my eyes out,” Lucas replies following with a dramatic gag. 

“I’m gonna make you walk home,” I laughed as I watched his eyes bulge. 

“Eddie will give me a ride home, right?” He turns toward Eddie who is shaking his head. Lucas groans.

“Dude your sister scares me,” He shrugs his shoulder and walks back inside of the school. 

“Is Steve planning on dating all our sisters?” I hear Mike say to Lucas as they head inside and I laugh. I stop once I don’t hear Steve joining in. He is glaring at me with a stern and serious look. 

“What?” Steve shakes his head trying to hide his smile. 

“Let’s go, Jaws is not gonna finish itself.” He starts walking to his open car door. 

“Oh please, no! I’m sorry.” 

“That’s what I thought,” 

#black girl writer #black girl reader #steve harrington x black reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x sinclair #stranger things #lucas sinclair #eddie munson

[fifteensjukebox]

tagged by @amidalleia tysm!!💖

last song: winning by emily haines & the soft skeleton has been in my head and i have whatever a photographic memory but for music is called so i think it counts. i was trying to figure out the change in timing starting about a minute into the song and my memory wasn't good enough to figure it out, and i think the last song i actually listened to was wet blanket by metric (emily's band) in the car yesterday. what can i say i love her! (the update is that I tossed this post into my drafts earlier and i have now actually listened to winning and almost figured out what she's doing but i'll have to discuss with my music theory-knowing brother)

favourite color: turquoise/mint/teal/sage/cool amethysty purples/the denim blue VW car colour (my beloved first car was a vw beetle we called lulu so that colour is now lulu blue in my house à la dodie yellow)

currently watching/reading:

rewatching btvs and angel mid s4/s1 respectively while showing it to my mom and brother for the first time! it's taking ages but we're having the best time

gilmore girls - (late mid s3) first watch w my parents! there's so much i know from here and so much i don't but i know i love jess

grey's anatomy - watched s1-17 with my family a few years ago (begrudgingly at first bc i so did not want to watch a medical show. and sooo long! but it really is that good (sometimes)) & have been watching weekly as it airs since, but we just caught up on the first bit of the current season yesterday bc i didn't realize it was back. and i love the new class of interns so much we are SO BACK

not dead yet - the only show i'm currently watching by myself week to week as it airs and of course my favorite character is the white man i hate it here... i do love the women too though!!

doctor who 12th doctor rewatch but i stopped like a month ago in the middle of the episode before the cybermen plot starts bc it's just going to break my heart to lose bill for a third time. but i miss them! missy most of all so i will get to it soon

i'm not really reading anything at the moment but i have a couple audiobooks on hold at the library (yeah this is jenny's answer exactly but it applies!)

relationship status: single and i don't go out enough so i doubt it'll change anytime soon

sweet/savory/spicy: i want to say sweet bc i loooove sugar but i add salt to everything lately, i even added it to a rice krispie square the other day, so....

current obsessions:

also still nancy drew forever and always, but honestly i don't have a fandom hyperfixation atm! it's all about furniture shopping.... i'm looking for a small chair/stool for my bedroom desk, and a bigger table to go with my living room big chair so i can have my laptop/food/whatever else i want bc i seem to spend most of my time here

and emily haines/metric music (lately i haven't been listening to much me after 2007, but i love the more recent stuff just as much!

last thing you googled: something about the st vincent rock&roll hall of fame exhibit bc i'd seen a clip about it on someones story but i couldn't find the full video (still haven't)

no-pressure tags: @redheadedbrunette @apolloamy @godofsmallthings @jemhowling @acafemmeic @electrictouchfeaturingfalloutboy @coldnightairinmylungs & anyone else who wants to! i love these sm

#goodnight babes i NEEEED this sleep tn i been strugglin #vie #qs #recipes #(rec from bethany in the tags)

[retrograderesemblance]

Tag Nine People You'd Like to Get to Know Better!

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑(𝐒): orange, pale pinks. really like pastels too. lately i've been into yellow.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑(𝐒): i tried siracha for the first time a couple weeks ago and honestly i'm obsessed akjsdjabsjfbajb. i've been putting it on everything (or everyone as i originally typed wtf)

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂: alternative/indie/folk. johnn.y flynn was my most played artist on my spotify wrapped if that explains anything. trying to get into country atm. so far i really like m.organ wallen's stuff.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄(𝐒): gonna sound like a broken record and say jane austen book club for the billionth time. rewatched the first kingsman movie recently with @pagetreader 's enabling and i forgot how much i love that too. the bourne trilogy is fire too (not the jere.my renner spinoff!)

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: turn: wash.ington's spies, hoga.n's heroes, fre.aks & geeks, kim's c.onvenience (not s5), and a bunch more i can't think of rn.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆: f.uck about it by waterpar.ks. had a hankering to relisten to the intellectual property album yesterday... and rn too actually asjknajf

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: i'm awful about finishing series tbh. i read the pat.rick melr.ose trilogy this month. there are 2 more books that were published way after the og trilogy so i still have to read those, but the trilogy is okay. the first book is the best. 2 and 3 get a bit muddled narrative-wise. haven't tried the miniseries adaptation.

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄: c.hild 44 (2015). never finished it, have about an hour left but honestly i might just read the book instead. the movie's good but also wayyyyy too long.

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆: rereading s.ix of crows rn hurrhurrhurr. might read in cold bl.ood by capo.te to start off the year.

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆: dark wi.nds!!!! started watching this recently i really like it. not sure how enjoyable it would be for peeps not familiar with n.avajo rez stoof tho. also in the middle of 18.83 but in a true y.ellowstone fashion i don't think i'll be recommending it for anything other than vibes.

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍: erm.... honestly idk. debating whether to eat more cheese and crackers while i watch yout.ube. i bought fancy cheese and crackers for new years. spreadable brie = my beloved

tagged by: @savingthrcw :3 tagging: @avictimofthejazz , @widowshill , @richardxoliverxmayhew , and anyone else who wants to do this!! most of my dash was already tagged in this from previous posts.

#ooc #// thanks for tagging me <33333 #this was fun! #happy new year to the dash!!

[autumnrose11]

I just rewatched THE EPIC KISS scene from 1.06, and I'm in floods of tears. Prepare for another (very) long analysis!

PART ONE

We start with Matthew and Mary seated at a corner of the dining table - much, much closer than what's appropriate. They're literally only inches apart. They're surrounded by sandwiches, strawberries and wine. SO ROMANTIC.

"We can drink to Sybil's safe return," Matthew says, popping open the wine decanter. "Why not," Mary answers, with a lovely smile. I need to remark on her voice being uncharacteristically soft and gentle here. She has grown increasingly "softer" with every interaction with Matthew. "I'll ring for a glass," she says, already getting ready to summon someone. She knows the rules of this house, she knows propriety. Having people at her beck and call is what she has known all her life.

"No, never mind that," Matthew forestalls her before she can go any further. His voice, too, has a noticeable dip. He pours the glass in the cup of wine, and, like the gentleman he is, gives it to her. He begins to pour the wine into the water glass. Mary stares at it in slight shock for a moment, and then her face relaxes into another (adoring?) smile. Where once she might have looked down upon Matthew for flouting decorum, she now finds it endearing BECAUSE SHE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM. I also noticed that Matthew filled up three-quarters of Mary's wine cup, and his water glass held only one-quarter full of wine.

Mary then makes one of her trademark snarky observations.

You're not very fastidious about doing things properly, are you?

A year ago, that remark might have been interpreted as mocking Matthew's middle-class status. Those were the reasons she resented him. But now, spoken with that teasing tone and smile, it can only be taken as playful flirting. SHE IS SO CLEARLY FLIRTING.

Matthew grins, and he lets out a soft exhalation of breath. He agrees with her. No, he doesn't always "do things properly." He may have become part of the aristocracy, but that's not who he is, that's not who he's grown up with. It's started to feel a little more like home, but in so many, many ways, it's still alien to him.

"Are you?" he asks. This, in my opinion, is a two-sided question. On one face of the coin, it's rhetorical. Matthew's known Mary for a year and a half at this point. He knows she belongs to the elite upper class. She's grown up in the lap of luxury. Obviously, she likes things "done properly." But it might also be taken as him wanting to get to know her better, whether beneath all the charm and poise there's a more fun, carefree side to her, unrestricted by rules and propriety. He's seen that side of her on some occasions (most notably when they both giggled together at Sir Salty Pudding), and he knows she has a sense of fun.

Mary confirms this, albeit obliquely. Mary never ever gives a straight response. "Less than you might think." Translation: I know I seem like a cold-hearted bitch and a snob to boot, obsessed with grandeur, but I do have a relaxed and fun side, I BEG YOU TO SEE IT.

Their eyes meet over their glasses of wine, and they toast each other. Matthew's eyes are on Mary as he starts to drink, but his gaze soon drops down to his glass of wine. Mary, on the other hand, mirrors his action, but her eyes flick upward and SHE WATCHES HIM DRINK THE WINE. Just as Matthew finishes his sip, she quickly looks back down again. She doesn't want to be caught staring at his lips and thinking HOW BADLY SHE WANTS TO KISS HIM.

Matthew continues the conversation. "Are you at all political?" This speaks as him being truly, truly interested in her, in her opinions. Unlike her other suitors, who likely are only interested in her beauty, rank and fortune. Matthew sees HER. He wants to get to know the real Mary. Presumably they've spent quite some time over the last eighteen months getting to know each other like this, but there's still so much to discover there. He wants to know how she thinks, what she believes. And he respects her for it.

"Yes," Mary answers, picking up a strawberry and twirling it between her fingers. Matthew's presumably very hungry after the whole political rally debacle. He's just lifted the lid of the plate of sandwiches, but as soon as Mary starts to speak, his gaze is on her and only her. Everything else can wait. Mary remarks on the by-election, about how she can't get excited about it, because nothing will change. They exchange a smile and a light giggle. The conversation between them flows smoothly and elegantly. They make each other smile and laugh and they like the way the other speaks.

PART TWO

"Thank you for coming to Sybil's rescue," Mary's saying. It's worth noting here that Matthew's hand is still holding the half-filled wine glass, and HIS MOUTH IS HANGING OPEN AND HE IS STARING AT HER. "You were very brave", she continues. This unexpected praise, from Mary of all people, seems to make him uncomfortable. He glances away from her for a moment and down at the table before meeting her eyes again. We already know the darling is too modest, but this sort of thing coming from MARY is uncharted territory. "She told me you knocked a man down." Her tone is so appreciative, so admiring, Matthew doesn't know how to deal with it. So he deflects, pretending he didn't really do anything at all. He gives a half-smile, then says "I hope I did my duty."

Are you a creature of duty?

Not entirely.

This is so telling of both Matthew and Mary's characters. Just like Matthew, she wants to know who he is. Yes, she's already fallen in love, but these two can never resist witty banter, or a verbal sparring match because they're just ... intellectually, on the same wavelength. Mary's basically asking him if he's always so honourable and overly moralistic. And he says not ENTIRELY. Yes, those are his most striking flaws, the tendency to overlook what's best for himself (and sometimes others) in favour of abstract principles, but sometimes, despite himself, Matthew can see where he's going wrong. He's not always a creature of duty. He has his own mind and he follows it.

From this point on, this is where the tension starts to escalate. Mary takes the plunge.

When you laugh with me, or flirt with me ... is that a duty? Are you conforming to the fitness of things? Doing what's expected?

OH GOD. This is SO direct. It would have been highly improper for a lady to speak of such things, and yet Mary does. Because with Matthew, rules and decorum simply don't matter. Not because of his middle-classness, but because he's her equal and she is his. He won't judge her, there's no need to pretend around him. She can be herself with him.

So anyway, back to these two lines. "When you laugh with me, or flirt with me..." We've already seen M/M sharing a laugh together, having the same sense of humour, and the garden bench flirting scene was SO ADORABLE, as well as many flirtatious encounters before that. Clearly they're both masters at it. Mary asks him if it's a duty. She knows that would sting him. The very first thing she heard him say about her, even before she ever laid eyes on him, was that he wants the autonomy to choose who he marries, and he does not want any of the Crawley sisters being PUSHED at him. They both know it's expected of both of them to go for each other. Mary's the eldest daughter, Matthew's the heir. It's the conventional way things are done in the upper class - again, of "doing things properly." They both know the other well enough that they (especially Matthew) want to marry because they WANT TO, not because they HAVE to. But now they've both fallen for the one person they never meant to like in the first place, and duty has NOTHING whatsoever to do with it. Their love is helpless. They're drawn to each other against their will. It is not a duty, and they both know it.

By the time she finishes her flirty questioning, Matthew's face ... I'm lost for words as to how to describe his expression. I truly am. His face shows incredulity, but he knows exactly what's going on. She's still playing her games, and he's done with it. He wants to stop meandering around her, because they've flirted with each other so many times and they both sense the mutual attraction. His mouth is open, smirking, and now Mary is IN FOR IT. He's had it, with her on/off attitude.

Don't play with me. I don't deserve it. Not from you.

One of the most striking (and more importantly, realistic) trait of Matthew is that while he so evidently adores Mary, he is never blind to her faults. He's not standing for her crap. When she is in the wrong, he calls her out on it.

NOT FROM YOU. Only three words, but they mean SO SO MUCH. He holds her in such high esteem. He loves her, and he does not deserve to be toyed with her. Not from the one woman he has given his heart to, long before either of them realised it.

Mary looks downwards, acknowledging his gentle rebuke, but just as he lifts up his glass of wine for another sip, she begins again.

You must be careful not to break Sybil's heart. I think she has a crush on you.

She's thrown caution to the winds, but by some weird contradiction, she's testing his attraction to her. She's been through this too many times. Suitors who only consider her a pretty ornament on their arm. Kemal Pamuk, who did not respect her, whom she blindly flirted with and had to pay the heavy price. She trusts Matthew, but needs to be sure of him. Matthew, obviously, doesn't interpret this as anything other than her still playing with him.

Again, it's quite bold for a lady to speak to a man about things such as crushes and flirting, but neither of them care because that is the level of comfort they have around each other. Sybil's starry-eyed gazing at Matthew back at Crawley House, and his gentlemanly, brotherly protectiveness and tenderness towards her has so visibly stung Mary to the core. You can see it in her face, SHE wants to be the ONLY woman Matthew will ever look at like that. She has finally realised Matthew won't hang around for ever. She could lose him, possibly to her youngest sister.

Matthew looks back at her open-mouthed, still with that barely-visible half-smile. He sets down his wine glass. He's decided to play along. He knows perfectly well Sybil doesn't have any romantic feelings for her. He's fond of her, loves her as a sister. The possibility of her having a crush on him has never entered his mind. Matthew's decided to use it, again, to tell Mary off for some of the pain she has caused him. (Because let's face it, she was pretty nasty to him in the beginning).

That's something no one can accuse you of.

What he means is .... Judging by the way you've treated me in the past, no one would dream that you, of all people, could ever feel anything for me romantically. His wine glass is set down, and it looks so FINAL. His arms are crossed, his head lowered. In that moment, nothing exists for him but Mary.

It's at this point that Mary starts fingering her necklace in that obviously flirty way. "Oh, I don't know." Classic Mary, again, never giving a straight answer because that's not who she is. She speaks in riddles. Oh, I don't know. Translate this as: Maybe you shouldn't be so certain of that.

Matthew is unconvinced. Still, you can see his eyes darkening, his lips barely moving because all they want to do is kiss her. "I assume you speak in a spirit of mockery." He's been hurt and disappointed too many times (namely the Strallan dinner) to take Mary at her word. At the salty pudding dinner, they were laughing, and tentatively flirting, and he had just begun to believe she might like him. But he had his heart broken then, and it took him MONTHS to get over it because Matthew is sensitive. He takes things to heart. So Mary's rejection of him (and the way it was done) completely crushed him.

*cuddles Matthew tightly*

So, by "that's something no one could accuse you of" he means ...

It is unfathomable that you could ever have a crush on me.

Mary responds, still fingering the necklace. "You should have more faith." Again, she's asking him to see her, the real her, who is kind and gentle and doesn't bite out witty retorts. The Mary who has fallen in love with him. She's asking him to trust her, to trust her love for him.

The next line is one that blew my mind the first time I saw it. Matthew leans forward, ever more closely, and basically questions as to how she ever expects him to have faith in her attraction to him, given the way she's behaved and spoken to him previously. "Shall I remind you of some of the choicest remarks you made about me when I arrived here?" The Andromeda/Perseus/sea monster conversation comes to mind. To Matthew, Mary was always his Andromeda. But to Mary, he's gone from being a hideous sea monster to a total Perseus. "Because they live in my memory ...... as fresh as the day they were spoken." Because he has listened to her, listened to every word she's says and has said. He so deeply values what she's said, he can't forget it. It's etched, like he says. His face is so, so close to hers, the sexual tension is sizzling. It's at breaking point. His passion that's been simmering for so long just beneath the surface is shining through. His voice is low and intense.

Mary's eyes when she looks up at him are so soft and dark and truly apologetic.

Oh, Matthew, what am I always telling you? You must pay no attention to the things I say.

She's asking him to forget every single unkind remark she made, every time she put him down, toyed with him, hurt him. She takes all of it back. Because she loves him.

The next few seconds are BURSTING WITH SPARKS. Matthew's eyes drop down to stare right at her lips. He's probably been indulging this fantasy for a while now, and then they slowly drag back up to her eyes. He reads her unspoken longing, her plea for him to kiss her. They both move at the same time and then THEY'RE KISSING. THEY LOCK LIPS AND THEN MARY'S HAND DELVES SO DEEPLY INTO HIS HAIR AND HER THUMB BRUSHES AGAINST HIS EAR AND THEY'RE SNOGGING BECAUSE THEY CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE THEY'VE LOST THEMSELVES IN EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO SO MUCH

*cue me screaming into a cushion*

I can't type another coherent word. Thanks for reading!!!

#downton abbey #dan stevens #mary crawley #michelle dockery #my darling #kissing #matthew crawley #matthew x mary #mary x matthew

[suns-pott]

Losing my mind over the Jazz on the clock music video

So Luxiem's Jazz on the clock music video dropped almost a week ago, and I've noticed they've hidden some things in there. I haven't seen anyone solve it yet and I'm stuck so I'm looking to the internet for help and to compile what I've figured out so far. There's gonna be a million screenshots.

Plot

The plot is made clear to us through the various newspapers shown throughout the video.

Some of it is hard to read but I can make out the messages in order from top to bottom of the middle newspaper:

Lords are on alert.

Luxiem sent a notice to the lords.

Luxiem, a group of thieves causing havoc in the city, is the next target a lord?

A letter of warning sent to the lord.

And to the right I can make out the message:

A succession of security incidents

The number of riots continues to increase

Their news again. Luxiem. a group of thieves who target the mansions of aristocrats and steal their money and goods to give back to the common people.

And another newspaper that reads:

Luxiem, stealing the crown.

Last night Luxiem stole the crown at the clock tower.

Luxiem appears at the clock tower.

With all this we can say Luxiem are like a robin hood kind of group, stealing from rich and giving to the poor. And they decide to steal a crown at a clock tower which seems to be their biggest heist yet.

Hidden messages

There's some numbered sentences sprinkled throughout the video, I have no idea how many there are but the video ends with the number 10 so I think there's 10 of them?? The first newspaper that was shown above has a number one with the message: I wanna live free all the time. Keepin' it reals what we do. As for number 2...

The video starts with this morse code message.

I looked to the comments for people who know morse code and I found a comment by moon?!

So during Ike's first appearance in the video there's this text shown sideways.

2. But I can't do that in this city that has taken over.

Which member would win an arm wrestling competition? What did Mysta say? Go to that person.

The first Luxiem game show was hosted by Mysta some months ago, and I went back and checked who Mysta wrote would win an arm wrestling match, that being Luca. (This screenshot is cropped so none of the members are shown but Ike is on the left and Luca is on the right just believe me ok-)

There's a number 3 on the left with the text: But I can't do that in this city that has taken over. And on the right there's the message: Let's go to the top of the 636c6fb20746f776572.

Now I have no idea what the numbers are, I'm sure it's some kind of code out of the many different ones that exist. So I didn't solve it, I just found it bc of the number.

4. I don't want to see you cry anymore.

Again I have no idea what the jumble of letters and numbers mean but i found number 5 anyway and now that I type this out I am not smart enough to actually solve this-

5. So I take the crown. I'll cast a spell on you give you a taste.

So I'm not sure if there are more numbers, there probably is, but I've rewatched this goddamn video several times and I just don't know where to go from here. And now I'm screaming this into the void for help.

Also I have these and idk what to do with them, I'm sure they will be relevant later but it is 1 am and I am running on 4 hours of sleep already and I should probably sleep.

Miscellaneous

Anyways I'm gonna get some sleep now, thank you for reading this whole ass rant I have going on. I will get back to the regularly scheduled requests in a bit, summer school is kind of kicking my ass at the moment, and writer's block at the same time. I just need to get my ass moving.

#luxiem #jazz on the clock #theory #nijisanji #nijisanji en #shu yamino #mysta rias #luca kaneshiro #vox akuma #ike eveland

[specialagentkat]

Undercover mission with Gibbs goes south. Part 1

Summary: You are a special agent working with Gibbs' team and you two started dating recently in secret. You had known each other for years and finally gave in. On an undercover mission, things don't go the way they were supposed to go.

Warnings: kidnapping , violence , hurt , angst, fluff

A/N: haven't written anything in ages. recently started rewatching ncis and went down a rabbit hole of finding Gibbs x reader stories. I also don't know how tumblr works, so please forgive me 😂

____________________________________________

You had lost your sense of time ages ago. You could only tell that you had been in this room for too long by the way your skin got thinner and your bones more visible. The ache in your stomach had turned into a background noise. Only once a day you were given the smallest amount of water and food - or so you thought. The room you were in didn't have windows. Nothing really. Just a heavy door, a chain wrapped around your leg and connected to the wall and a pillow. You didn't even have the energy to laugh about the fact that your capture had the decency to provide you with a pillow. With your head resting against the cold wall of the dark room, you stared at the ceiling, wishing for it to end.

×~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~×

"I have to agree with Tony on this one, you look amazing in that outfit Y/N."

Abbys voice sounded through your earpiece as you scanned the room again, checking every exit and your teams positions. You rolled your eyes and only mumbled a quick 'Thanks Abbs' before grabbing your drink from the bar and leaving your seat.

"Far left corner, Caucasian male, brown hair, maybe 40, Sailor uniform. Hinks on right leg. Hand in jacket, reaching for something", you said as you slowly moved through the crowd of dancing people. This undercover mission had cost you days of training, because dancing wasn't your thing. Gibbs and Kate had spent hours with you, working on your footwork.

"I see him", Tony answered.

"Let's not move too fast. He could be reaching for anything." Gibbs warned.

You halted, which made you bump into someone and your drink fall to the floor.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry. Must have been to much Whisky already." The man in front of you grinned apologetically, his hand on your arm, making sure you don't fall over.

"No worries, Sir", you say quickly, trying to ignore the stain it had caused on your leg.

"Would you grant me a dance? I want to make up for it."

You considered for a second and then decided to let your team see that your hard work had been worth it. With a smile you took the man's hand. He placed his other on your lower back and pulled you in close.

"I'm Jack by the way. Really sorry about the drink."

"No really it's fine, I shouldn't have stopped in the middle of a dancing crowd. Taya. My name is Taya. Nice to meet you Jack."

×~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~×

"4 fucking months, Ducky! 4 months and absolutely no sign of y/n."

Ducky sighed as he laid a hand on Gibbs' shoulder. It had been too long. Too long without sleep. Too long without his other half. Too long without Y/N. Every minute they weren't working on a case, they would work on finding Y/N. McGee and Tony hadn't left the office in weeks. Kate had moved into Abbys lab to work with her. And Gibbs had even stopped working on his boat.

"Jethro, you know as well as I do that the chance of survival of a victim of a kidnapping-"

"Until I find a body, I'll keep looking. I can't give up.. I can't."

×~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~×

Jack was an empressive dancer. He twirled you around, caught you and had his hands securely around your waist. It was only when Tony made a comment about how you seemed like you were enjoying yourself too much, that you asked Jack to get a drink. His hand rested on the small of your lower back as he walked you over to the bar. You didn't risk to look, but you could feel a pair of eyes fixated on you. Gibbs.

"You definitely made up for the spilled drink, Jack."

"I had hoped so, Taya. Wouldn't want to have left a beauty like you upset."

You faked a smile and sipped on the drink Jack had handed you.

"Remember you're at work, Y/L/N."

"So tell me more about that project you're working on", you said, placing a hand gently on Jack's leg.

During the conversation you noticed scratched on the back of his hands. He also seemed to have a scratch on his temple and if your eyes weren't playing games on you, you could see a bruise. Not fresh but also not too old.

"I'm sorry, please excuse me. I will go and freshen up quickly."

You heard a rattling noise over your earpiece. Abby. Exclaiming you were going to freshen up had been your code word.

"I've checked him already. Nothing suspicious. Typical ex Navy. Works a 9 to 5 office job, has a wife and two children."

"What alerted you, Y/L/N?"

"His hands and face show signs of a fight. He has the medical knowledge to let someone suffer for a long time while keeping them alive. And to be honest? My gut tells me something is wrong-"

"The way he looks at you", Gibbs interrupted.

"Yeah..", you replied and looked his way before entering the bathroom. His face was unreadable as usual, but the way he was standing seemed tense. You tried to hide a smirk as you couldn't help but think it was jealousy. You had been undercover a couple of times since you two had started dating in secret. Every time it'd involved getting closer to someone, Jethro showed slight jealousy. He always had to make sure later, that you knew he was the only person to touch you in certain ways. You were looking forward to that.

"The way he looks at you?" McGee asked.

"Oh looks can say more than a thousand words, Probie", Tony replied with a laugh and stuffed something in his mouth.

"Kate, McGee, go and check his car. Tony and I keep an eye on him", Gibbs said.

You stood infront of the mirror, running your fingers through your hair. With a quick hand you checked that your gun was still strapped to your thigh and the knife in your boot. Rule 9.

#gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs #reader insert #ncis reader insert #ncis #Jethro x reader #kidnapping

[nalyra-dreaming]

im sweating no one has asked it yet. i have been sitting on an ask for a while that suddenly seems a lot more plausible and therefore worthy of asking. I also have a couple of things that caught my attention.

1785 refering to nicolas and lestat joining the theatre makes a lot of sense. I mean what else can go there? Nothing. Non of the characters (in the show) have anything important happen around that time. Plus it makes sense for lestat to rise through the ranks of the theatre over the course of years instead of several months.

!!!if nicki is there he needs to be cast which means we also meet him way before we thought we would. !! Also that might mean that the other unexpected character from the vc is Nicki!

This also means that the books are a lot more condensed than we originally thought. And if the joining of the theatre is in s2 what from tvl will they add as well and what will they leave for a comprehensive tvl 3rd season? Tho i have to say that it would make sense to put tvl partially in another season because i just cant see how you can properly adapt that book to only 8 40min episodes, there is just too much happening.

Uhhm more chaotic thoughts......

Oh yes! That ask i had been sitting on.

2. so about a week or so ago i was doing some writing and suddenly i had this thought. You know how we have been speculating that dubai is in the merric era and that lestat maybe in a coma in another room? And how we will find this out at the end, which then leads us into s3? Like they show us unconcious lestat and fade out? Yeah what if they open with it tho. What if the first episode starts on a shot of Lestat, in dubai, unconcious. Actually this makes no sense cause that would ruin louis further narrative before daniel has even gotten his hands on it. And like it would have been sort of hinted in the synposis right with "with the apperance of an unexpected factor" or something vague like that? The reason im telling you this anyway is because; how can there be flashbacks from lestat if he, or some representation of him isnt there? Did he write diaries too? We know there was a paragraph of the wolfkiller in one of the claudia diaries. I think someone had discovered that in a frame back in november or something. I dont quite remember and i couldnt find it upon rewatching, but maybe i should pay closer attention.

3. I also realised we know quite some things about lestats timeline already. I dont know if anyone has mentioned this already. So i had been rewatching episode three, the bit where lestat offers the tickets to 'donazettis comic masterpiece' the opera i dont remeber the name of. He describes having met donazetti and having seen the premier 73 years ago in Salle Ventadour. Salle Ventadour is in Paris, 1917-73= 1844 which means he was a vampire and hasnt left paris yet. Is this takingplace in lestats era before turning nicky where he is going to all these society events as gentleman death and meets armand? No obviously not, that would make nicky 60ish by the time he is turned. So its after, its probably in that time just before he decides to go seek marius. The time in which nicky, post vamp transformation grows to resent and distance himself from lestat even more. What if lestat tries to distract himself from his nicki who is getting more and more antagonistic as the years, in this case , go by, by going to operas and stuff? It would make sense for lastat to hold hope for a long time, to endure for a long time (you saw how fast time started passing in season 1 as soon as the vampirism hit) It would also make sense for lestat to take decades to find marius. So timeline!!

1760= lestat born >(lestat gets the green pendent form the marquise)> 1884ish 24 yo= nicky and lestat run away to paris (maybe the wolfkiller happens in the same year) >> 1785 25yo=nicky and lestat join the theatre >> 1794 (middle of the french revolution, girls(gn) what a time to be turned into a vampire)= lestat is kidnaped and turned into a vamprire, im not actually sure they are going to show that in too much detail as they have already talked about it. > i think gabrielle gets turned before the FRev ends and nicky between 1800 and 1810, that would make 1 century before Louis > 1844= lestat sees the premier of DON PASQUALE DONIZETTIS COMIC MASTERPIECE, i remember! Nicki is turned, but lestat is not out of paris so nicki is not dead yet.> between 1844 and 1909/10 there is a fallout with nicki, lestat leaves paris, looks for marius, nicki dies, marius is found, those who mist be kept, lestat goes to america in very old clothes that he doesnt bother to change until louis tells him to. (If not for his father why does lestat go to america here?)>>1910=lestat arrives in new orleans.

That was all i have for today, damn, i hope that made some sense:) And I hope you have a nice day!!

Yes!! You made sense, I just answered an ask also theorizing in regards to the changed structure (but I didn't combine them because would have been too long^^ and also:)

1785 also marks the point in time where Armand would have needed to vacate Les Innocents with his coven, since the bones were relocated to the catacombs in 1786. That must have been quite the change for him - no matter how it happens, and it changes some of the story of The Vampire Lestat already!

The "mistake" (what they called it but while that may be true I don't know if I should believe them^^) of the diary entry being part of Lestat's story is in episode 4, where Daniel thumbs through one of the diaries. It could be used to give us a part of Lestat's story, yes, but... you know, I bet we will see Lestat in a coma towards the end of the season, and I could easily see it beeing Armand who is taking Daniel there to show him - and Louis might use that moment to try to kill himself. (I would love that. Can you imagine Armand being with Lestat down there and slowly realizing what's happening, and then Lestat's eyes opening?????? PLEASE^^)

Yes, I also was thinking about that the other day, but you are totally correct, and I haven't seen much about this either. >> As you correctly point out the remark to the premier is particularly interesting. The date of said premier was January 3rd 1843. It has already been theorized that Lestat's turning was likely during the Reign of Terror, as he himself said he was turned in 1794. For him to be staying in Paris for such a long time after the turning... that is quite the change. (If we take it as him staying, rather than him returning at some point, which is also possible I suppose) the ties must have been very strong. What if... what if Nicolas actually was successful, too, and then couldn't be anymore since he became a vampire, too. And yes, Nicolas must've been turned (just) prior to 1810 (if we take the 100 years literally) and after Gabrielle, but that still makes a few years in which he would have mourned Lestat?! Which makes me also think the relationship between them will actually be portrayed as even deeper. What if there is an echo to what is happening to Louis later... what if there is more to Nicolas' depression than we thought? And also... I think for me it all depends a bit on where Armand was during that time. What if Armand went back to Rome for a bit? The Roman coven is gone after all when Lestat gets there, only some vagabonds around... What if Armand went there when Les Innocents was closed, realized that Santino had abandoned his teachings and it all crumbled there before he returned? But yes, I also think that Lestat's travels likely took place between 1844 and 1910 - and I also think that they kept Marius and TwmbK more or less unchanged (at least for now).

I personally cannot wait to see where they take these changes... there is so much already in there, so much set up. I've said it before, they not only have done their homework but they are also fearlessly rearranging, and I love it. AND they must have a bigger plan already worked out, because there’s just... too much details already. Too many little things. Choices.

I love it.

#Anonymous #hope you also have a great day nonny!!! :)) thank you for making me chew on this as well I know it's mostly what you said but uuuughhhhhh : #asks #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #the brat prince #iwtv lestat #iwtv armand #armand #iwtv season 3 #future season speculation #nicolas de lenfent #1785 #les innocents #show timeline #iwtv timeline #1795 #premier #ask nalyra

[sugarbabywenkexing]

currently...

Thank you for the tags @bloody-wonder and @magpiefngrl

currently reading: I'm still in the middle of my Queen's Play reread that I started like a month or so ago before the Baldur's Gate 3 brainrot ate up all my free time

fic i'm currently reading: Nothing in particular, I've been picking through some BG3 fic but not getting too deep in until I actually finish it

last song: Chevy Thunder by Spector

currently watching: Uhhhhh..... I just finished Better Call Saul

next on my watchlist: Kind of want to rewatch Beyond Evil, but we'll see whether I actually have brain space for that

current obsession: Baldur's Gate 3 🤡 I'm so normal about this game (lying)

Tagging anyone who wants to do this, feel free to say I tagged you

#tag games

[technicolorfamiliar]

Technicolor Familiar Watches Too Many Conrad Veidt Movies Part 1 of ?

Apropos of nothing, I find myself wading around waist deep in Conrad Veidt's filmography, at least the titles I can easily find online.

I've been writing down my mostly brief impressions after each movie, mainly for my own entertainment since I know exactly zero other people who would care lol. I actually created a Mastodon account especially for this purpose, since my primary socials aren't really for this sort of thing. But the character limit on Mastodon is seriously cramping my style, so I'm going to be annoying about this on Tumblr, my self-imposed blog expectations be damned.

I'm not doing plot summaries, but there are spoilers. I'm not watching these movies in any particular order other than what I'm in the mood for on any given day. I'm half trying to keep the thirst levels to a minimum, but no promises; all bets were off after watching A Woman's Face. And tbh, this whole thing has turned into an Emotional Support / Coping Mechanism / Escapism Tactic because hoo boy is my brain bad these days. But be forewarned, I'm not a writer, I'm not a film critic. I just like movies and turns out I like Conrad Veidt a lot too. I'd probably have more and better things to say about a lot of these upon a second or third watch.

So as of late November, I'm 15 films deep with a lot more to go. I'm thinking about splitting this up into multiple posts, maybe like 5ish films/post. Originally I was going to see how many of these movies can I watch before the end of 2023. But I'm just going to keep going until I run out of available titles or I get sick of Connie's face (unlikely).

The Man Who Laughs, 1928 Dir. Paul Leni ⭐4.5/5 Watched mid-Oct, Archive.org Nothing could have prepared me for this. Of course I was aware of TMWL, but more vaguely than I guess I realized. It's really ahead of its time. The production quality is astounding, it's an absolutely beautiful film. The whole cast is pretty great, too. The Duchess? Total smoke show. Homo the Dog? Queer icon. And Connie really swings for the fences emotionally and physically as Gwynplaine. Bear in mind, this is literally only the third Conrad Veidt movie I've ever seen (other than the basic, intro level Cabinet of Dr Caligari and Casablanca), so I was really floored by what he's able to do in this role with the use of really only half his face. There are several wonderfully haunting and heartbreaking visuals and moments throughout the nearly 2 hour runtime that will stay with me long after watching. Half a star got knocked off because the score was a little bombastic and there were one too many clowns for me personally. But those are small complaints for what may otherwise be a pretty perfect film.

Unheimliche Geschichten (Eerie Tales), 1919 Dir. Richard Oswald ⭐3/5 Watched mid-Oct, Archive.org A romp. The version I watched had no soundtrack at all, making for a totally silent viewing experience. The vignette structure and old school effects are fun. I enjoyed seeing Anita Berber in action although maybe I was expecting more because of all the hype surrounding her/her image. But Connie, Anita, and Reinhold Schünzel seem like they had a good time working on this project. "The Black Cat" and "The Suicide Club" were my favorite sections (and I actually watched this when I was in the middle of Netflix's The Fall of the House of Usher, so yay for extra Poe content in the spookiest month). As for Connie Content, what can I say, he's stunning.

The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari, 1920 Dir. Robert Wiene ⭐3.5/5 Watched Oct 17, Archive.org I went hard with the silent era when I started this journey. Caligari was my intro to Conrad Veidt almost 15 years ago, and as a lapsed goth art student, I remember being bewitched by his strange and off-putting presence on screen. My rating for this one is kind of low compared to how undoubtedly iconic and important of a film it is. It could have been my mood but upon rewatching, but the story fell a little flat for me. I did like the updated score in the version I watched, and I would love to see this one on the big screen maybe with a live orchestra some day.

Orlacs Hände (The Hands of Orlac), 1924 Dir. Robert Wiene ⭐4/5 Watched Oct 17, Archive.org Loved. It's so horny and bizarre (the scene with the maid crawling on the floor? same, girl, same). And visually the most pre-David Lynch Lynchian-looking movie I've ever seen. The shots that linger on highly stylized, cavernous, empty rooms before a character enters? So David Lynch. I'm also a big fan of the psychological body horror and crime thriller genre mashup. It's got twists, it's got turns. Conrad Veidt's your man if you ever needed a Hand Actor. Like the handsiest Hand Actor who ever had a pair of hands. Someone who could really work those mitts.

A Woman's Face, 1941 Dir. George Cukor ⭐4.5/5 Watched Oct 18, Vudu & TCM Jumping way forward in Connie's career. This movie did things to me. This was, I think, the point of no return. It's extremely underrated, I'm legitimately surprised I'd not heard of it before diving down this rabbit hole. That said, it is strange and pretty spicy for a Hays Code era picture. It's so good, I actually watched it twice (it aired on TCM as a part of their creepy cinema series). Visually beautiful and narratively interesting, if maybe a little long despite the rushed ending. Shout out to Joan Crawford for giving what's probably the best performance of hers, at least that I've seen (Mildred Pierce who?). And then there's nasty, nasty Conrad Veidt. He very nearly steals the movie from Joan, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He's beautiful, he's TALL, he's scary. Genuinely shocked he doesn't have second billing. But what else can I say about his Torsten Barring that hasn't already been said more eloquently by others? It's such a great character, and I believe he said it was one of his favorites during his entire 100+ film career. A Woman's Face is the only title on this list so far where immediately after watching I wanted to buy the dvd. Ugh, we deserved several more decades of Connie in roles like this.

I'll probably post the next few one day soon, where I finally get into some titles from the 1930s.

#my writing #conrad veidt #the man who laughs #eerie tales #the cabinet of doctor caligari #the hands of orlac #a woman's face

[forerussake]

Tag someone you want to know better OR just want to say hello to!

I was tagged by @tazzy-ace :D thanksss and hello too <3

Favourite colour: green! Pine tree green :)

Last song: Rock with you by seventeen according to my spotify, which came up on my 800+ songs kpop playlist that I put on while cycling home after choir practice yesterday to get the christmas songs out of my head (they're back now. dinge-ding, ding dong, dinge-ding, dinge-ding)

Last movie: the barbie movie i think xD went to see it with my mom a couple weeks ago. if it'd been up to me then lost in the stars would've been here, but i still haven't had the chance to see it yet :(((

Currently watching: beyond evil. (only 1 more episode to gooooo!) Technically i’m also in the middle of watching my true friend, but i haven’t watched an episode in over a month now so i’m not sure it still counts as ‘currently watching’ ahshdgdhj. I really tried to enjoy it for long-ge, but it's just. so. bad. I’m also slowly rewatching the rebel though, cancelling out the bad long-ge drama vibes with a long-ge drama that makes me go a little feral with how much i love it :)

Currently reading: children of time by adrian tchaikovsky. This is the book about sentient spiders i’ve been mentioning in posts :) it’s really good, but i’m also bad at finishing books these days so i’ve told myself i need to finish this before i am allowed to start reading my copy of guardian vol.1 and that strategy is working so far xD

Currently working on: well first of all there’s my guardian wishlist gifts! I can’t really say anything about that before reveals, other than I have 1 fic and 2 art pieces in the works and one other medium gift already finished :) other than that i’m still slowly working on the second installment of my zhu yilong & ni ni rpf series, which is coming along nicely i think. Outside of fandom i’m working on the poster for my choir’s christmas concert. Oh, oh, and writing an ssa arrangement of doomsday by lizzy mcalpine, but that’s not really getting anywhere at the moment :////

Current obsession: i think my current obsession is just trying to keep up with everything zhu yilong does xD it's been over two years now since i dumped myself into this by watching guardian for the first time and he just won't let me go. (THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINT LONG-GE I WANT TO HOLD ON A WHILE LONGER THANK YOU) :D

Tagging: @pangzi @scaredysap @programmedradly @lynne-monstr @the-marron @lucientelrunya @mjsakurea @stupid-lemon-eater @cuterocks @omaenanimonoda if you want to <3

#tagged #about me

[medicallymercury]

Aftershock (06/01/24)

I submitted my final essay for last semester a couple days ago and I finally feel free. If anyone has been paying attention to my real life notes at the start of posts, you’ll have noticed that I’ve been stressing about but not writing my essays for over a month now. Things are suddenly so peaceful. I have learnt nothing about not procrastinating. 

This was supposed to be a normal episode review for last week but devolved into all my Casualty thoughts from the past couple days so like, spoilers for this week and next week at the end and a bit of rambling in the middle. I’m at a weird place with Casualty right now because we’re inching towards me just ignoring canon and pretending that what should’ve happened is happening instead. 

Part 1 - Episode Thoughts:

Goodbye Ryan. Who can say why they gave you and told us your backstory? As he’s leaving he tells them not to forget him and it’s like……..this is Casualty?? The moment you walk out that door, you were never here in the first place. I don’t feel incredibly caught up about him leaving, he was problematic but he was free and I suppose I have to give him that. 

Hello Ngozi. Basically all opposites here: I can’t wait to learn more about her, I will never forget her, I love her, she is perfect and can do no wrong. No thoughts, head empty, just Ngozi. She’s so !!!!! <3 She seems lovely, I’ve been missing ‘lovely from their intro’ characters. I think she has more experience than the others which is interesting too. 

Charlie is a lot more interesting right now than he has been in the whole time I’ve ever watched Casualty. I thought it was because I’ve been watching series 1 (special interest fuel but not as distracting as rewatching recent episodes so I can do other stuff while it’s on) and he’s more interesting in that because they had to actually write a character and couldn’t get away with just dragging him on screen and going “it’s Charlie bros, like if you agree”. But his scene with Ryan was as boring as ever so I think it’s just the influence of Stevie. 

[On the largely unrelated note of old Casualty: it’s super interesting how many of the current plot points and stuff that’s happening in A History of Violence also happened in series 1. Early Casualty has the issue of staff being attacked but no one wants the police around and I’m wondering if this current storyline will be as overtly anti-police as series 1 was. Also, spoilers for this week but the paramedics feel like the new measures haven’t considered them at all, and series 1 Casualty has an episode where the paramedics aren’t included in a meeting and one of them (PLAYED BY ROBERT PUGH AKA GETHIN) feels like the paramedics aren’t being treated like the rest of the staff.]

Faith Stuff™. I am still not interested, please end this Mr BBC. 

Part 2 - Mostly Episode Relevant Teddy Thoughts:

Objectively: It was an episode. He got with Jodie, which probably isn’t that out there. It sure happened.

Subjectively, the good: “Cutting me out of it like that, it shows what she thinks of me” is a great line for exactly what I think is the real issue Teddy has with Jan right now. The wedding is off and Paige acknowledged the issues in their relationship, which is about time. Teddy and Paige were cute in that episode where Teddy is stressing about asking her out but probably doomed from the start. The problems I think they both bring to a relationship aren’t incredibly compatible problems, it was only a matter of time before things started to implode (IF SAH WAS THERE, THOUGH…). I really, really liked how surprised Teddy seems to be that Paige isn’t happy that he only asked her to marry him because Gethin told him to. Yeah, he would be surprised. So many things in his life, if you really think about it, come back to his family (“it’s why I became a paramedic”) to the point that I do think he wouldn't get why it would weird someone out. I also liked that Paige and Sah really don't get how he’s feeling at all, I think what he’s feeling is very specific and different than typical grief and it’s not their fault they can’t really figure out what’s up there because I don’t think he knows either.

Subjectively, the bad: but I didn’t like that ~Jodie understands it~ or whatever. Why? Because her mum died? Well Casualty, I regret to inform you of your own writing, but so did Paige’s mum. Not even as a backstory thing, as a plot thing. I won’t ever be happy about this because I’m ride or die for Sah/Teddy/Paige now, they’re the only thing that could make me happy. Even with just Sah/Teddy it’s like, I wouldn’t actually want them together despite how much I talk about them. They’re my two bros chilling in an ambulance, five feet apart because they have unresolved issues. The Sah and Teddy scene was a let down but whatever (thinly veiled annoyance). Generally, as I said before, it feels like this episode brushed past some interesting ideas but just failed to go there and didn’t let any of the ideas it established sit before having Teddy cheat on Paige (I’m counting it as cheating cause I can). 

Subjectively, the overanalysis: firstly, there’s pacing problems. I think the fact that they didn’t spend enough time developing Teddy’s feelings really didn’t help his part of this episode. One episode exploring Teddy’s feelings about it all, developing that a little, looking into what’s going on underneath and how no one really understands it. Let it rest a bit. Another one for the impact on his relationships, he (ugh) gets with Jodie. I still wouldn’t love it but I think it would feel better developed. Secondly, I just think they underuse the best parts of Teddy to focus on the dramatic parts. They have him do things that aren’t theoretically OOC but are just the most extreme thing he could do and it’s a waste. And they focus on this romance storyline (which they already ruined the moment they decided not to make it a polyamory storyline) that just isn’t that interesting as much as it is dramatic. The most interesting thing about Teddy right now is Jan. With most characters, to say that the most interesting thing about them is a different character would be insulting, but I mean it as a massive compliment to how well written their relationship is and how well they integrated Teddy into Jan’s character, considering he definitely wasn’t part of their original plan for her. I’m sure they will do an episode about Teddy and Jan, because if they don’t that is terrible writing, but I wish this one had given us more on his feelings towards her and about his family than it did. That’s what’s interesting. There’s so many angles to come at this from, there’s so many potential layers to their relationship. But no, they have to have uninteresting romance. If an autistic person with a special interest on a character is bored by the portrayal of that character, that isn’t a great sign. He is very interesting to me but not for reasons canon cares to consider. 

Part 3 - Spoiler Thoughts:

I want to be excited about this week's episode but I’m not sure after last week. I am excited for a Sah and Teddy interaction of actual substance, though. Very excited. That will make or break the episode for me. Will skip straight to it when I watch.

TEDDY INSISTS THAT HE DOESN’T WANT SAH TO LEAVE. MY BELOVEDS.

Lots of paramedic stuff which is good, Jan’s back which is good. Always questioned the use of Sah’s top surgery as a plot device, especially when they used it to create tension between them and Paige (??????), but I am kinda like noooooo about them having Teddy be dismissive about it. Yes, it is just my take on his character that this is an important thing about him, and Yes, he is gonna apologise. But they can’t blame me for caring about Teddy consistently being there for Sah on this when they’ve made so many other characters be vaguely or explicitly transphobic to them and only had Teddy be consistently on their side. YOU CAN’T BLAME ME FOR CARING ABOUT THAT. Teddy in my head would never and he’s the real one now. 

Do I think Sah is gonna leave? Maybe. I’ve been expecting them to leave during this miniseries for a couple reasons, even though that means we have a lot of characters leaving in a few months, but I thought it would happen later on. And two exits in two weeks is a lot. If they leave it’s like, I will absolutely miss them but it feels kinda like the writers don’t know what to do with them anymore anyway. Sah in my head lives on with Teddy in my head. 

Next week’s episode will have Max and Dylan stuff AND an acknowledgement of Donna?? I am kinda excited to see that, even if it will bring back my annoyance at how they wrote Donna’s exit.

Anyway, I’m back to being able to think about Casualty all the time without it having a direct effect on my real life obligations so expect more posts and faster replies for at least a month.

Can you tell I’ve been watching Succession?

#why is this 1600 words in an hour when it took centuries to write that much about early modern political powers?? #bbc casualty #casualty spoilers #cas ep: aftershock #ryan firth #ngozi okoye #charlie fairhead #anti faith cadogan #teddy gowan #jodie whyte #paige allcott #sah brockner #jan jenning #other characters mentioned but tagging seems excessive: stevie nash max cristie dylan keogh donna jackson