#i say as if i never ran my first two blogs lol

[norrizzandpia]

i think this would suit lando but you being down and lando comes over later at night and takes you the park like two little kids, i can just imagine lando being a big kid at the park lmao

I’m going to need someone to love me like the fictional lando i write abt 24/7

We Can Be Kids For Right Now (LN4)

Summary: When her week has tried to suffocate her, Lando turns up at her door and forces her to remember just how worthy she truly is.

Warnings: mentions of heavy anxiety attacks, anxiety in general, language

Note: a draft bc im wrecked rn from this trip im on im so tried lol… I hate that I have to start saying this but I do not condone the reposting of my work without proper crediting or permission. If you wish to post my works elsewhere, it needs to be ran by me first by messages over Tumblr. If found that you have taken my works without my knowledge, I will report you and get my posts taken down from your blog.

Y/n never truly realized she did it until Lando, but when the man started to get close to her, he brought it to her attention that she so easily isolated herself when she started struggling. Even the smallest inconvenience and she shut down, something that irritated the hell out of Lando. Nevertheless, he loved her and the way she dealt with her emotions was something he knew she just needed to work on.

However, the problem they couldn’t get past was her ability to tell him when she was struggling. There were only so many times when he could see it written all over her face.

His comments urging her to open up to him when she was having a hard time dealing with it on her own bounced around in her head as she clutched her phone in her hands, his contact picture brightening her screen. His smile beamed back at her, almost coaxing her into tapping the call button, but her thumb hesitated. It wasn’t that she was afraid of telling him, it was that she was uncomfortable with her own emotions. Uncomfortable of leaning into them. Growing up, she was never given that ability, her parents not having the full capacity to address them head on. She never thought it truly affected her until Lando. She started realizing that he never gave her a problem to be scared, but she still was.

Her thumb had a mind of its own, though. Thankfully. And the ringing tone met her ears before she could even know what was happening. His picking up happened before she could even begin to think about hanging up the phone.

“Baby!” His cheery voice rang through the quiet room and warmed her tender heart. “What’s up? Why are you up so late? Do you want a sweet treat again?” He giggled, his TV pausing in the background.

She was silent. Her mind raced as she tried to make the split second decision of telling him or not. Though, in her silence, he began formulating an answer.

“Y/n…” He whispered, blankets rustling as she imagined him sitting up on his couch.

“Lan,” She said brokenly, albeit with an effort of trying to sound strong.

Keys rustling and his rushed, “I’m on my way, baby,” were her response.

—

Lando knew where the spare key was. It was one of the first things he asked the location of after they first said I love you. Y/n would always laugh at that memory. What she was expecting after the three words were shared was a small kiss or a hug maybe, but no, he had asked her where her spare key was. When she showed him and he very clearly took a mental note of it, she asked him what was so important about it.

“I’m your boyfriend and we’re in love. I should know where the spare key is, baby.” He had said to her so nonchalantly, as if it was societally normal to have that thought process. She just shook her head at him and took the kiss she wanted for herself. He wasn’t going to do it anyway, too entranced in the image of her spare key under her doormat. He was shenanigans bundled into one person. She loved it.

His rapping on the door pulled her from her memories. She drudged over, taking a deep breath before opening the door. He stood there in his pajamas, puffer coat thrown over haphazardly, and stared at her sympathetically. He shuffled in, arm rounding around her shoulders as he kissed her head, “Hard day?”

She sighed, “Hard week.”

He led her to the couch. The layout of her apartment was memorized in his head. “What happened?”

“I just-” She picked at her fingernails and the anxiety she usually felt when Lando asked about her worries began bubbling up. Maybe it was growth, but she thought he’s already here, isn’t he? Might as well lean on him.

So, she did. Literally and figuratively.

Lando squeezed her body as her side laid on his and she started reliving the low moments of the past few days. “Everything has gone wrong this week. I just can’t seem to win and I can’t make anyone happy.”

Tears filled her eyes and a frown appeared on her face. She cried into his shoulder when he pushed her body further into it.

Lando sat with her for a moment, rubbing her back. “That’s not true, Y/n. You make a lot of people happy. You make me really happy.”

For some reason, his comment shot fear through her body and she pulled from him. Her eyes looked anywhere other than his and the irrational idea of an expectation Lando had set for her that she did not believe in herself to meet took control of whatever plan she had to open up to him.

Lando saw it in her eyes, how distant they got. He knew this was bound to happen. It had been too easy. She had opened up to him without that much restraint and he expected a moment to come where her walls rebuilt themselves.

He just wanted her to let him in.

His hands took her face, “You deserve me. You will not let me down. You could never let me down.” He said, knowing exactly what was running through her mind.

“Y/n, look at me.” He tilted his head to meet her eyes and forced her to keep his stare, “I love you. That will never change.”

She cried harder, “I can’t even open up to you, Lan. I’m not even a good employee at a job I’m overqualified for. Yesterday, I handed in that presentation to my boss that I had been working on for weeks and when I presented it to the board of all fucking people, there was a grammatical error on one of the slides. I had confused ‘your’ and ‘you are’, Lan. It was embarrassing. They laughed and joked about it after. I can’t even fucking do my job. And I upset my mum on Wednesday. I hung up on her during an argument and now she isn’t talking to me. I’m being condemned, Lan. I can’t fucking breathe. My dad’s texting me, telling me how disrespectful I had been, but nobody hears about the parts where she called me an irresponsible adult and ridiculed me for taking a job that didn’t make me that much. Nobody wants to hear my side of the story, the part where she was so grossly unsupportive. Then, I had to cancel on Cameron on Tuesday again because I’m so fucking tired and so fucking busy. She got mad at me and now we’re in this fight because I’ve neglected our friendship. I’m a shit friend, a shit daughter, a shit worker, and it’s so obvious I’m a shit girlfriend. I can’t fucking do anything right.”

By the end of her rant, she was breathless and Lando could see she was talking herself into an anxiety attack. Her hurtful words toward herself needed to be dealt with, but he needed to stop the panic seeping into her skin.

He took her hand and kissed her head, “Come with me, my love.”

She kept crying as he led her to his car, his arm wrapped around her body securely as he whispered words of reassurance in her ear. He reminded her of how strong she was, of how much he loved her and admired her for everything she was. How wrong she was about everything she had convinced herself of.

When he softly laid her in the passenger seat, he kneeled down and kissed her shoulder, brushing her hair off the skin lightly. He looked up at her with deep green eyes filled with safety, “Don’t listen to your mind right now, baby. It’s only telling you lies.”

He lightly closed the door, running around the car to slip into the driver’s seat. When he turned the engine on, his hand settled on her thigh and began rubbing softly. He backed down and drove down the road, toward a small park at the end of her street. It was quick, maybe a minute or two, and Y/n was still crying when they parked, but it subsided momentarily when she saw where they were.

“Why are we at the park?” Lando grabbed her hand and kissed the knuckles.

He laid his cheek down on the back of her palm, murmuring, “Because it’ll be fun to be kids for right now. Not have to think about what you’re going through. We can address that later.”

A sigh of relief left her chest. The moment he had given her an opportunity to run away from it all, even for a few minutes, she almost began to feel as though she would find peace.

He always knew exactly what to do.

She gathered herself, wiping away the tears and smoothing down her hair as Lando walked back to her door, opening it and offering his hand as help for her to get out of the car. She took it. She always would. The cold air hit her body and she shivered. Lando was immediate in offering her his coat.

She shook her head, “No, I’m okay for right now.” She was just now realizing how she hadn’t gone outside in days. The cold air made her feel alive again.

Lando’s hand continued to clutch hers as they took steps toward the large structure. When she let go of his, he tensed, but he relaxed when he saw her wandering over to the slides.

She climbed up the ladder, him following behind, and found herself sat in the entryway of the whirling slide.

“Wait, wait!” Lando yelped before she could push herself down. Her head whipped around to meet his eyes.

She smiled and her body warmed when his found a seat behind her, his body consuming her and his hands wrapping around the low point of her waist. His ear right beside her ear, he kissed the top of the skin, “Now, you can go. We can go down faster, no? Seeing as I go fast for a living.”

His questionable logic made her laugh before he was pushing them off and the two were turning fast around the corner of the yellow tube. Her giggling ensued with the way he jostled them around on purpose to make the slide more exhilarating for two twenty-four year olds. And in the heat of the moment, seeing her hair float in the air and a carefree smile on her face, Lando wished she could see herself the way he did. She was superb, unbelievable. She held the strength and courage of someone so commendable. She was kind even when she had seen things and experienced trauma so young that should’ve, understandably so, made her bitter. She was merciful even when she shouldn’t be and she loved Lando in a way he had only ever dreamed of. The way she treated him, the gentleness she approached him with, was something he knew he could never let go of. She was beautiful in so many other ways than just her appearance. She was deeply beautiful and he wished she could just understand that.

When they reached the end, their bodies stopping abruptly right at the edge, Y/n laid her head back against his shoulder. He kissed her temple, “Fun?”

She nodded with a smile, “Somehow, you did make it faster.”

He shot her a look, as if to question why she didn’t believe him in the first place. He pushed her off him, sprinting to the swings and screaming for her to follow him.

“Lando! Be quiet! You’ll wake up the entire neighborhood!” She whisper-yelled at him, laughing as she ran after him.

He threw himself in the seat and began swinging his legs, no doubt gaining momentum but beckoning her over for help nonetheless.

She stood behind him, bracing herself firmly on the ground as she pushed his heavy body up off the ground. When he would meet her back on the ground, he’d lean back so his back would almost come crashing into her front. It made her laugh.

“Lando!” He couldn’t see her, but he knew how radiant she must’ve been looking. Even in his head, he continued to fall in love with her.

She kept pushing him until her arms got tired and she flopped away from him, onto the ground, in a heap of heavy breaths. When he didn’t feel her small hands on his back anymore, he jumped off the swing and joined her on the ground.

It didn’t matter how cold it was or how dirty it inevitably was, they were together and Y/n’s smile lingered on her pretty face.

Lando’s hand laced with hers in between their bodies as he softly whispered, “You’re not a shit daughter, your parents don’t know what they have and they’re too emotionally immature to realize that. You’re not a shit friend, Cameron knows that, you’re just struggling and that’s okay. You’re not a shit worker, you’re actually heavily valuable to your boss and the people around you. They’ve all told you that. And Y/n, look at me,” She turned her head to meet his meaningful ones, “You are not a shit girlfriend. You are the complete opposite. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and could ever ask for. You have no idea how in love with you I am. It’s even hard for me to understand sometimes. There is no one I have ever loved, love, or will love more than you. You are the most important thing to me, so please stop talking about yourself in this way and believing in something that has never been true.”

Everything about the moment is gentle. From the way his thumb caressed her skin to the enunciation of every word that came from his mouth, he made it clear how much love prospers for her within him every day and every minute.

She turned on her side and took his cheek in her hand, “Thank you for helping me, Lan.”

His hand squeezed her waist, “Of course, my love. You’re my favorite.”

She felt her heart blush, if that’s even possible. Maybe her face was the one blushing? She didn’t know. The way Lando looked at her as if she started life itself made her mind feel fuzzy.

Fuzzy enough to realize he was right. She wasn’t a failure or a horrible person. She was a human who made mistakes and many people loved her in spite of it. Lando being one of them.

He loved her in a way she had always craved. She both needed and wanted him. So did he. They were the beginning and end of everything for the other. It showed well that night as they held each other on the concrete of that park. It showed well because, at one am on a random Saturday, Lando had dropped everything he has doing the moment he heard the anguish in her voice. It showed well because Lando’s clear words made Y/n realize he wanted her and no one else. There was no one else like her, no one to ever replace her. Not that he would ever want that anyway. She was completely unique in the most precious way and maybe… just maybe… she was beginning to realize that too.

#mclaren #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris fic #lando smut #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando imagine #lando norris #lando norris x you #lando norris edit #lando norris blurb #lando norris fanfiction

[jungle-angel]

Head In The Clouds (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: When Bob makes love to you in the clouds, you swear it's the best thing ever (Greek Mythology AU)

Warnings: SMUT (18+ only, minors will be yeeted from this blog and blocked)

Tagging: @floydsmuse @sebsxphia @bobfloydsbabe and an especially big thank you to @attapullman as this is for International Bob Floyd Fucks Month!!!!! (lol).

At last, at long last you returned to your home in the clouds close to Mount Olympus, worn out from racing Ares and Apollo all day long on your black pegasus. The clouds had always been home for you and Bob, a place as wild and free as the forests on the earth below. Your fuzzy, fluffy little dream dragon ran right to you, curling around your legs and purring like a cat as if to welcome you home.

You saw Bob flying in just a moment later, fresh from helping Hermes on a mission for one of the Titans. Bob's sandaled feet touched down on the clouds as though they were solid ground, his snow white wings still unfurled like a pair of brilliant flags as he scooped you up in his strong arms.

"Missed you sweet cheeks," he said before planting a kiss on your lips.

You hummed into his kiss, reveling in the warmth that enveloped you. "I missed you too," you purred. "How'd everything go?"

"Better than ever," Bob answered. "Hyperion was more than happy to have the lamps working again and everybody made it home safe too."

You were relieved to say the least. Ever since the Titans had allied with the Olympians, things hadn't been better. You had yet to see the new island home of your distant ancestors, as did the rest of the Daggers, but Bob assured you that it would be something to look forward to going down the road.

You and Bob tended to your duties for the day, helping Hera, Poseidon and the others wherever you could until at last, night had begun to fall in the heavens. The moon and stars had all shined brightly as the creatures of the sky took to their cloud beds, curling up and drifting off to sleep along with your little fuzzy friend.

Bob couldn't help but stare off into that wild expanse of heaven, the deep sapphire blue skies making him sleepier than usual. He felt your arms sneaking their way around his waist as you pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for bed (y/n)?" he chuckled.

"Same can be said of you," you told him with a wry grin.

He pulled you into his arms, his deep blue eyes roaming over every trace of you as he pulled you into his strong but comforting embrace, breathing in your scent as though he had been away for longer.

In an instant you felt his warm lips on yours, kissing you gently and trailing from your lips to your jaw. You felt the tip of his tongue brushing against your skin, just tiny little licks at first, but as Bob began trialing down your neck, they became much more intense. A breathy little moan fell from your mouth as Bob kissed the curve of your neck.

"Shhhhh my love," he whispered. "Remember, somebody might hear us."

Bob gently guided you to the big mass of clouds that you both slept on every night, crooking a finger to beckon you closer. Your kissing became much more heated as his nimble fingers found the clasps on your copper colored tunic, drawing the thin, stringy straps down. The sheer fabric quickly fell, revealing your naked skin, pooling around your ankles as you helped Bob with his, the two of you never once breaking the kiss.

He laid you on your back, drawing a gasp as his rock hard cock found its way into your slick entrance. Bob watched with pure adoration as your eyes went wide and a gasp was drawn from your throat.

"Bob......?" you moaned.

"Hmm??"

You draw his hips against yours, creating a rhythm that made the little spot between your legs tingle with pleasure. "You like that?" he purred.

You nodded, a lazy smile playing with the corners of your mouth.

Bob slowly thrust his hips in and out of you, trailing kisses down your collarbone, taking great care to drag his tongue along the swells of your breasts and over your nipples. Bob swirled his tongue around them until they became pointed little dusty pink peaks.

"Bob......Bob.....p....please.....please....."

Your pleas were music to his ears as he dragged his tongue down to your navel, swirling it around and flicking it in and out. "My gorgeous wife," he groaned. "I love every bit of you and your body......."

Your moans grew louder as he spread your legs and kissed down the sensitive little spots on your inner thighs before going for the one spot that drove you crazy. His tongue worked its magic, flicking in circles, up, down and all around until you were a moaning mess.

"Bob.....Bob sweetie, I......I'm gonna......"

"Wait, wait for me sweetheart," he panted. "Hold on."

You moaned even louder when you suddenly felt him enter back into you, amazed at how fucking big he really was. He continued to thrust in and out of you, slowly, gently until both your hips jerked against each other, the both of you a fucked out, blissful mess.

Bob kissed your lips, his body heavy and relaxed against yours underneath him. "You're amazing, you know that?" he chuckled.

You laughed as he guided you down from the rest of your high, the clouds cool against your heat filled bodies. You and Bob lay in your bed of clouds, blissed out but relaxed and content as you explored each other's naked bodies, touching, kissing and caressing each other in the silvery moonlight.

"You get prettier every day (y/n)," he murmured sleepily. "You're everything to me."

You traced over his jaw, gently caressing his face. "And you're everything to me, Bob......you always will be."

Bob kissed you until you both fell asleep in each other's arms, never once letting each other go and waking up the same way, when the day began anew with the sun on your faces and the two of you together.

#top gun maverick #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #international bob floyd fucks month

[milksnake-tea]

I'm new to your blog but I just wanna say that you have amazing talent and you should be proud of that (/positive)! Also if it's okay, I'd like to request on your event.

Can I get a Jing Yuan angst prompt no. 6 and dialogue no. 2? Please and thank you!

❀ ˎˊ- prompts: They only confess their love to you once you're already gone. + "Please, stay. Just… stay." ❀ ˎˊ- 1k followers event ❀ ˎˊ- character: jing yuan ❀ ˎˊ- warnings: major character death (its us lmao), war, implied violence/stabbing ❀ ˎˊ- a/n: this scratched my neurons so bad THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST !! sorry for the wait lol school is eating at me so bad

Many believe that Jing Yuan does not feel fear.

It wouldn't be a hard lie to believe. The man is always sporting a carefree smile, even in the midst of the Ambrosial Arber crisis. His composure never cracks, his calm never disturbed. He greets scolding with laughter, anger with tranquility, and danger with a steady stance.

Very few have seen him truly enraged, and even fewer have seen him afraid - the latter having long been lost to time.

But rest assured, Jing Yuan certainly feels fear, simply not in the way that others do.

He has screamed out names of comrades, calls that have never been answered. He has seen stains of red that have never stopped spreading, a seemingly endless sea of crimson. He has stood at countless graves, galaxies away from home, watching as friends passed away in unfamiliar territory.

How cruelly familiar he is, with the reaching for what can never be reached, grasping for just a trace, just a hope for continuance, for a miracle.

And here he is again, fingers just within reach of you, but still too far away.

The battlefield is loud - ringing with the sound of flames, shouts, and lightning. His weapon drags against the ground, hanging from his belt and digging a long, jagged gash in the earth as he pulls himself through the flames, your limp body in his arms.

You're barely breathing, little puffs of air wheezing through your lungs as you fight to keep your eyes open.

It's hot.

The searing heat of fire and rage is overwhelming, burning through your skin and filling your ears. Jing Yuan clutches you close to his chest, looking around valiantly for a medic, but to no avail. You two are alone in this desolate battlefield, save for Jing Yuan's spirit standing guard over you.

"Everything will be alright."

You remember the words he whispered to you when he found you. You've never seen horror strike someone so fast, nor have you seen someone hide it so quickly. Those words of consolation... seemed to be more for him rather than you.

Even now, Jing Yuan puts on a brave face as he realizes that help isn't coming. You can see the panic in his eyes, golden swirls that reflect the inferno.

For the first time in years, he doesn't know what to do.

You shift, leaning your head onto Jing Yuan's shoulder.

"It's okay," you whisper, your voice straining against your wound. The taste of iron is salty against your tongue, and you wince at your voice.

It's cold.

The rapid loss of blood was finally beginning to take its toll on you. You shiver, chills running up and down your spine, goosebumps forming on your skin. But still, as your exhaustion begins to take over, you strain your eyes open.

Jing Yuan stares back at you.

He's scared.

"No," he replies, almost defiantly. "Do not give up just yet. Just a little longer, and-"

"I don't have a little longer, Jing Yuan," your voice raises by the tiniest bit, silencing him. Your hand comes to grasp at his clothes, bunching the little folds of fabric peeking out from his armor in your fist. "Just leave me here."

The honor of a warrior, one of the things Jing Yuan hates the most, and yet the one thing he shared with every other Cloud Knight. He knew the pride that ran through your veins, the pride that would not allow you to drag him down with your corpse.

And yet, he refuses to give up.

"I cannot do that," he says, a subtle plea in his voice. "You know I cannot."

Your grip on his shirt tightens. "You must."

He shakes his head, and the mask shatters. Desperation and devastation wreak his expression, premature grief already twisting his face.

Jing Yuan sinks to his knees, his legs barely able to support both you and himself.

"Please," he begs, voice barely above a whisper. "Stay... Just stay."

You try for a smile, but even that is too much for you. Your fingers slacken, and you linger on the cliffside for just a little longer. You want to touch his face, to feel his warmth one last time, but can't muster up the strength to.

In the end, you can only breathe out a quiet farewell.

"I'm sorry," you murmur. Jing Yuan's eyes widen.

"No, not yet!" he pleas, clutching at your bloodstained shoulder. "I-"

But he's too late. Your hand drops to your side, and the light fades from your eyes.

"I... I love you."

Your soul has joined the stars by the time the words come out. The confession is lost among the blaze, never to reach your ears. Jing Yuan holds your body in his arms, strangled whimpers leaving his lips in shuddered breaths, his mind still processing your death.

By the time reinforcements come, Jing Yuan is standing alone, an unreadable expression on his face. Your body is nowhere to be seen, buried in the ground of the foreign planet in a makeshift grave.

He refuses to answer when spoken to, and is silent when his wounds are patched. His eyes are downcast, shadowed and dull as he replays the moment in his head, thinking of how things might've ended differently - of how he could've saved you.

But deep inside, he knows that those are futile thoughts. He'd thought them when his mentor had fallen to mara, when his friends had given in to death and insanity, leaving him and only him behind.

There will always be people he cannot save, situations he cannot control. And it scares him.

He closes his eyes as the starskiff rumbles, succumbing to his fatigue as it takes off into the skies.

And in his dreams, he sees you.

reblogs w comments are appreciated !!

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #hsr jing yuan #x reader #reader insert #y/n #archives 🏵️ #event 🏵️

[grassbreads]

I’d love to know about Yulma and how important it is to representation in shounen manga

This has been sitting in my askbox for a couple months (because I am incapable of punctuality), but anon sent this to me back when I was talking about Yulma over on my vnc blog. For those unaware, Yulma refers to Yu Kanda and Alma Karma from the manga D.Gray-man.

So the thing is, to be honest, I don't know if you can say Yulma is/was important for representation. They don't tend to get brought up as an example of representation (except by diehard d.gray-man fans like me, lol) in shonen, and their whole thing is complicated enough that I feel like the queerness of it all flies over a lot of people's heads.

However! They're very important to me personally, and I do think it's kind of remarkable their story came out in like 2010. Because even though their queerness gets overlooked a lot, it's like. really there no matter how you interpret it.

The short version of their very complicated story is that Kanda and Alma are a couple who were resurrected into new bodies. Alma was a woman when they were originally together in their past lives, but is physically male in the present. Kanda is still very much in love with them by the end of their story, which, depending on the reading, makes Kanda very bi and/or Alma very trans.

This sound like something you want details on? If so, let's talk about how D.Gray-man's fan favorite edgy badass toughguy character briefly became the star of his very own heart-wrenching tragic queer romance.

Here's a brief crash course in Yu Kanda and Dgm for the uninitiated:

D.Gray-man is a manga about a group of exorcists (in the loosest and most anime sense of the term) in the 1890s fighting a holy war against mechanical demons powered by the souls of the dead. There are two things you need to understand about this plot for me to explain Yulma:

The Black Order, the secret branch of the church that exorcists work for, has a long history of committing horrific human experiments to further the war effort.

Due to complications of world building, only a tiny number of people can become exorcists, and tracking down new ones is extremely difficult.

Yu Kanda is one of the exorcists, and though not the actual main character (that's the lad in my icon), he's a very important secondary character. Arguably he's the most important secobdary character, since he's the main guy's biggest foil and the first character to play deuteragonist in a major story arc. He's also a huge fan favorite. The character popularity polls that Jump used to do always had him and the mc going back and forth over who won #1 most popular.

Kanda was also a classic edgy toughguy character. His first two scenes are him almost murdering the main guy because he thinks he's an intruder, then complaining about people grieving for their friend too loudly. He never smiles. He argues with the righteous mc about wasting time/energy protecting civilians. He threatens (and delivers) violence on anyone that annoys him. He looks like this:

TLDR; Kanda was an adored-by-fans mean badass archetype in a 2000s shonen manga. Not generally the guy you peg for starring in a piece of queer romantic storytelling.

And for the entirety of the original anime adaptation's 103 episode run, for the first 188ish chapters of the manga, you do not learn a single thing about his early life. You learn he joined the Black Order very young, and you meet the mentor that took him in at that point, but although there are little hints, a couple cryptic mentions of him searching for a certain person, his early origins remain a complete black box.

Then came the Alma Karma arc.

This is the point where I start getting into spoilers.

To make a very long story short, the Alma Karma arc reveals that Kanda is one of the Black Order's human experiments. The Order ran a secret project 9ish years before the start of the series in which they essentially tried to re-use dying exorcists (since finding new ones is so hard). They took the bodies of dying or recently deceased exorcists and harvested their brains, implanting those brains into new magically grown child bodies.

Key to this project—the second exorcist project—is that these newly grown second exorcists were not supposed to remember anything from their previous lives. Kanda, however, recovered a few hazy memories from his past self. Most importantly, he can recall an unclear image of the woman that his past self was in love with. This memory gradually becomes Kanda's reason to live. He wants desperately to find and meet that person.

Now, aside from Kanda, there was one other successfully revived second exorcist. This was a boy named Alma Karma.

Over the course of their brief shared childhood, Kanda and Alma become extremely close. However, due to a series of horrible events that I'll spare you the details of, Alma is eventually driven to murder-suicide. He wants himself and Kanda to die together to spite the Order, and Kanda almost lets him do it.

The one thing that keeps Kanda from letting Alma kill him, the thing that drives him instead to kill Alma, his most beloved and only friend, is that he can't bear to die without finding that woman again.

Have you figured out the twist yet?

9 years later, in the present, Kanda discovers that he didn't actually quite kill Alma. The Order kept Alma secretly half-alive in order to do more dubious experiments. And, more importantly, when they meet again, Kanda discovers the truth. The woman that he's been searching for his whole life, the woman he's in love with, the woman he tried to kill Alma in order to find, was also killed and made into a second exorcist. And her brain was placed into the body of Alma Karma.

After quite a lot more violence and tragedy, Kanda and Alma end their story arc by running away together on their deathbeds. Alma dies, for real this time, in Kanda's arms, and his last words are to tell Kanda he loves him. These words are presented as something Kanda hears from both the boy and woman versions of Alma's soul.

So! At the end of a very long and complicated story, one thing holds true: Kanda and Alma are in love. As passed down from their past selves, they are specifically in romantic love. They were a couple. And to speak as a fan, the sheer absolute devotion to how Kanda's love for Alma is presented is seriously intense and moving.

Now, given the absolute hell that is Alma's life, gender identity is frankly the last thing they have time to worry about, so it's hard to say how the whole "literally a woman's brain in a male body" thing might have settled for them if given time to think about it. But that is inherently a pretty trans narrative. And given the whole Alma gender situation, there's simply no reading of their whole situation where neither of them is queer.

If you take present day Alma as a guy, which is more or less how he's presented in canon (though again, who knows how he would've felt about that male body in different circumstances), then congratulations! You've got mlm in your shonen manga. They were straight in a different life, but now one of them's a dude, and they are still deeply in love with each other. They've even got not one but two "let's forget it all and run away together" scenes, just as every mlm couple seems to have.

On the other hand, if you go with the angle that Alma's still a woman based on her mind/soul, even in her new body, then Kanda may not be canonically queer, but Alma is inarguably trans. Again, literally a woman's brain in a male body. It may not be how most people end up trans, but that doesn't change the facts of her situation.

You see what I mean about how they're undeniably queer, but also kind of easy to miss? There's so much other insane shit going on in their story that Alma's whole gender situation can get passed over. Plus, you can look online to this day and find people arguing that Kanda's not "technically" explicitly in love with the present day male version of Alma, since he doesn't 100% unambiguously say as much. I love reading comprehension.

Also! As a possible extra reason for why people don't talk about them much, the official English translation of the manga translated Alma's final "I love you" very differently. There's always a lot of nuance and argument when it comes to translating "大好き" into English, but given the full context of their relationship and the scene it's in, Viz's handling really sets off the censorship bells in my head.

Here's the different versions (Japanese then fan then official), if you want to compare:

Nothing more classically queer than censorship by way of questionable translation 🙃.

At the end of the day, Kanda and Alma are in kind of a strange middle ground. They're each in love with the other one, but the whole second exorcist brain transfer situation makes it complicated enough that people argue their feelings aren't explicitly romantic (and thus not gay) in the present. Alma is literally a woman's brain implanted in a male body, but we don't have time to dwell on the gender complications of all that because of the hell that is the rest of their life. They're canon but not canon—queer people whose stories don't have space for them to be queer.

However, given that all this messy, tragic ambiguity was published in a fairly popular shonen manga back in 2010, it still feels kind of remarkable to me. Alma is somewhat an antagonist (it's complicated), and he dies at the end of his arc, but once again, Kanda was/is the fan favorite! And when he re-enters the main story after Alma's death, he's more important than he's ever been, and his history with Alma continues to be a huge part of his character.

Katsura Hoshino took the much-beloved edgy toughguy character from her long-running shonen series and, after keeping his origins secret for such a long time, confirmed that his whole life has revolved around love this entire time. Almost every facet of his character can be traced back to his love for his lost best friend or his yearning for his past life's missing partner. And then she reveals that the best friend and the partner are one and the same.

You can go back and forth about the degree to which they work as representation, but in any case, I think their story is something people ought to know about. It's romantic and it's heart-wrenching and it's fucking wild, especially given the context in which it was published (a Shonen Jump spinoff in 2010). I never see anyone besides the few remaining hardcore dgm fans talk about them, and I think that's a shame.

So anyway, that's tale of one of the most insanity-inducing romances I've ever seen put to paper. I love queer people.

Here's some choice pages if you want to cry with me (the last two are a sequence):

#followers!! I know my demographic #I know that most of y'all are Tragic Queer Romance Enjoyers #and if that describes you. you should read this post #come learn about a truly wild piece of manga history #I bring you the gift of discovering Yulma without having to read almost 200 chapters of shonen manga for context #don't pass this up <3 #dgm #d.gray-man #yu kanda #yulma #alma karma #invasion of the frogs #also I really hope that at least one of the besties reads this and has a Realization about who/what my queue tag is a reference to #maybe I flatter myself to think that anyone remembers what my queue tag is. but I just think it would be funny <3 #also also. I really did not intend for this post to turn into an entire essay when I started writing it #so uh. whoops #ID in alt text #anon #ask

[ladykailitha]

Oh For a Muse of Fire! Part 2

LOL! I love how much you guys are loving this. I took the idea for the names at the bar from a fantasy novel called The Lark and the Wren (I’m pretty sure) by Mercedes Lackey (only in that case it was a brothel).

Also guys: If I have you on my list but you didn’t get the notification for the tag it means one of two things: it’s a side or secondary blog and tumblr doesn’t tag those. Or and this far more likely you have it set that you’re undiscoverable through tumblr. Under settings go to your blog then scroll all the way down to visibility and make sure both are grey. (Or secret third thing that your blog is set to 18+ because tumblr hates porn.)

Part 1

*

Steve was trembling when he got to the apartment he shared with Robin. So badly that he was struggling to put the key in the lock. After the third failed attempt, he let out a sharp cry and sunk to the floor, his back pressed against the door.

He knew that he wasn’t the best person in high school. He did. But he had changed his senior year. Stopped hanging out with Tommy and Carol. Started focusing on his art. Meeting Robin.

Hell, as far as Steve could remember they hadn’t even gone after Eddie and his friends. He would like to say that it was because he had a crush on the guy. But no, it was just they ran in different circles and were just outside their purview.

He held his hands up and while they still shook, they weren’t as bad. He got up and tried again. With some effort he managed to get the key in the lock. He sighed in relief as the tumbler slid and allowed him to open the door.

As badly as Steve wanted to grab the six pack out of the fridge and down the whole thing, wallowing in self-pity. He couldn’t because he actually had work.

He had to train his replacement. He worked at an upscale bar close to campus, bar-tending. It was good money and he was able to work nights and go to school during the day. But if everything went according to plan, at the end of summer Steve would be starting his student teaching position. So the bar needed a new bartender.

He pulled on the black slacks and white button up that his uniform and his white sneakers. He rolled up his sleeves and checked his hair really quick in the mirror.

It would have to do.

He splashed water on his face to wash away the tears and clear his mind of cobwebs. He didn’t have the liberty of fucking up.

Steve grabbed his car keys and jumped into his BMW. The last remnant of his father’s hospitality. He had gotten the car when he was sixteen and the car was nearing its first decade. He kept his fingers crossed that it would last until he got his first full time teaching job.

When he pulled up the bar, he could see her waiting for him by the door. She was pretty blonde with bright eyes and a cheerful expression. She was wearing a short black skirt and high heeled shoes.

Steve shook his head. She was in for a rough time tonight if that’s what she was going to be wearing.

He trotted up to her. “Hey, you must be the new girl.”

“Yeah I’m C–”

Steve held up his hand. “If you’re going to tell me your real name, don’t. The boss doesn’t like us knowing each other’s real names, says it distracts from the ambient feel. I’m Garnet.”  

She blushed. “Right, right. He said. I’m Opal.”

Steve nodded. “Or at least at first hopefully by the time I leave you’ll be upgraded to a nicer gem.”

Opal fell instep with him as he led the way through the bar. “Have you always been Garnet, then?”

Steve licked his lips. “Yeah. It’s something of a running joke now. I’m the best bartender this bar has ever had and I’ve never been upgraded to Ruby or whatever.”

She nodded.

“Truth is Diamond respects me, but he sure the hell doesn’t like me,” he explained.

“You think Diamond is his real name?” Opal asked eagerly.

Steve shrugged. “Could be.” He grabbed two aprons from their hooks and tossed one at her. “This will help prevent you going home smelling like the bar.”

She nodded, tying it deftly around her waist.

“Diamond said you’ve done this before?” Steve asked, pulling out two white towels and tossing her one.

Opal nodded. “At my last job. It closed up because the owners retired.”

Steve nodded. “So then this won’t be too difficult. This will just be me showing you were everything is and showing you how to make the house specials.”

“Pretty much,” she said cheerfully.

Steve looked down at her shoes. “Your last place make you wear heels to tend in?”

She looked down at her feet. “Yeah, said I was too short to see over the bar otherwise.”

He cocked his head to side. “But you aren’t that short...”

Opal laughed, clear as a bell. “Oh I know. He was just a misogynist pig. I do have flats with me since I take the bus.”

“Put them on,” Steve instructed. “We move way too fast for you to be in heels. I don’t want you breaking your ankle or have blisters by the end of the night.”

She nodded and pulled out a pair of black flats and slipped them on, shoving the heels back in the purse.

“You’ll want tennis shoes or any other comfortable shoe from now on,” Steve explained. “You’re also allowed to wear slacks if you want. The patrons aren’t going to see below your waist and the apron covers your chest. Your tips will come from you being fast and good.”

Opal saluted. “Aye, aye Captain!”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I think you’ll fit in just fine.”

“Garnet!” a uncoordinated blur shouted and jumped into his arms. Steve caught her deftly and shook his head.

“Hey, Pearl,” he said with a grin. He set her down. “Say hi to the new girl.”

Pearl turned slowly to see that yes, someone was with Steve.

“Uh, hi,” she said, shyly. “Garnet’s my best friend.”

Steve gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Yes, you are. Pearl, this is Opal. She’s my replacement come August. Opal, this gangly giraffe is one of the best waitresses the Queen’s Crown has to offer.”

Pearl smacked Steve’s arm. “Pay no attention to him.”

Opal laughed. “Kinda hafta because he’s training me.”

“Well besides that,” Pearl said. “He’s just a big dingus with a bigger heart.”

Steve blushed.

“Aww...” Opal said, “you two are cute together.”

Pearl made a fake vomiting noise. “We’re just best friends. Platonic with a capital P.”

Steve shook his head. “Ignore her.”

Opal laughed. “Five minutes in and I’m already ignoring everyone. This must be quite the friendly place.”

Just then a large man came out of the back and threw his arms wide open.

“Opal, my pet!” he boomed. “You made it. These two haven’t been giving you a hard time, have they?”

Opal shook her head. “They’ve been sweet.”

“Good, good,” Diamond said with a grin. “The bar opens in an hour. Garnet will show you everything you need to do to get stared.”

He gave them a wink and lumbered back into office.

Steve cleared his throat. “Right. So everyone pitches into to step and take down everything. Take down will include wiping everything down and sweeping and mopping the floors. Even Diamond comes out and helps wash glasses.”

Opal’s eyes went wide. “Seriously?”

Pearl nodded. “He’s kinda a if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself kind of guy. Not always, he does trust us to do our jobs, but he’s  very hands on.”

“But he doesn’t help set up?” Opal asked,

Steve looked back behind him and then back at her. “He gets the drawers ready for the day. He counts it all before hand and then we count our drawers with him after. He also counts the tip jar in front of everyone and gives everyone their percentages.”

Opal’s jaw dropped and she stared at them in shock. A man came out of the back dressed similarly to Pearl in a black button up and black slacks. While Pearl had black boots, this guy had white sneakers.

“This is Topaz, one of the other waiters,” Pearl said as the guy came up to shake her hand. “This is Opal, Garnet’s replacement.”

The guy lifted an eyebrow. “That’s some pretty big shoes to fill.”

Opal blushed. “I’m just surprised you guys are hiring six months out for that.”

Topaz shook his head. “That’s Diamond being a worry-wart again. If you don’t work out, he wants time to hire someone else.”

“You know,” Opal said, putting her hands on her hips, “for someone who insists everyone go by gem nicknames Diamond is sounding more and more like the perfect boss.”

The other three laughed.

“Pretty much,” Pearl said, “He may be an annoying hipster, but he’s good boss and he’ll take care of you.”

Topaz hip checked Steve. “Unless you’re Garnet, here.”

Steve pushed him playfully. “Shut it, man.”

Topaz laughed. “This idiot accidentally hit on Diamond’s daughter.”  

Pearl grinned. “In front of her fiance no less.”

Steve threw his arms in the air. “No one told me who they were. I had been here for like a week. And every signal she was sending me was that she was interested.”

Topaz patted him on the back. “You keep telling yourself that, man.”

Steve shook his head. “Let’s get to work before Diamond comes out and starts yelling at us.”

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7 Part 8 Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16 Part 17 Epilogue

Tag List: @artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1@scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster

#ladykailtiha writes

[lavendertales]

Love in the dark: Part I

pairing: Javier Peña x wife!reader

summary: with the impending breakage of your marriage, you and Javier decide to step into couple counseling.

word count: 2.9k

A/N: the concept of a struggling marriage comes from Scenes from a marriage, but I thought hey, why not explore a post-Colombia Javi trying to have a normal life with his spouse? Contains angst so beware! Also, don’t mind my psychological dialogue, I’m trying my best lol.

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

gif: @katronautt

series masterlist | AO3

He looks around, slightly disoriented. It’s his house, his home, he should be able to recognize the setting, right?

Wrong.

He feels like a stranger. A ghost returning from its afterlife to see the misery of the present that had doomed him. The cigarette feels almost molten between his index and middle fingers, and the nicotine that stains the fingertips and the air suddenly asphyxiating.

So many fond memories in this house, yet the most recent ones are those he’d wish to forget.

He’s not sure when it all started to go downhill. All he recalls are happy times, someone who pulled him out of darkness and offered him a happiness he never dared dream of tasting. But as of late, his inner demons and fears returned, dragging him back into that fiery pit.

It wasn’t always bad. Quite the opposite: it was fun, sweet and intoxicating. She was that way, too. Not to say that she no longer was, but the continuous issues that drove a wedge between them often prevented him from seeing that anymore. He couldn’t blame her. She was just as affected and broken as he was, and she was probably tired of carrying the weight on his shoulders on her own.

But five years together is quite a long time, Javier reckons. A lot can change during those years, and a lot had changed. When he first met you, he’d never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone. It was a slow burn at first, something small waiting to be ignited, then it became the most intense flame that could’ve engulfed him in his whole life.

He breathed, ate and drank you. You were his all, his everything, from his reason to get up in the morning, to his reason for going to bed with a smile on his face.

Now… not so much.

He felt you slipping through his fingers for quite some time, but it was easy to get lost in the sea or anger-fueled orgasms, nicotine and alcohol to actually see it. Then, little by little, the arguments became a daily occurrence, the distance in between you larger, and each felt like they were married to a ghost of their former spouse.

Whenever you talked, it raised more questions and anger rather than providing any clearance, so eventually you stopped talking altogether.

One thing you agreed on was that your marriage needed salvation. Or at the very least, some closure if there was nothing else to be done. So you did your research and found a marriage counselor.

That didn’t really fly by Javier. Not at first, at least.

“Couple therapy, really?” he groaned.

“Marriage counseling.”

“What difference does it make?!”

“I didn’t say there was a difference!”

You bit your lips, taking a deep breath in before continuing. It felt like ages since you last had a normal conversation that did not trigger screams out of either one of you.

Not even those kind of screams, sadly.

“I don’t know what else to do, Javier,” you told him. “Clearly handling this by ourselves isn’t working and we ran out of options.”

Javier threw you a dirty look as you raised your hands, conceding to his glare.

“We have to fix this somehow. Would you please cooperate with me for this?”

Huffing, Javier agreed with a single nod. You were right. You had to give this a final shot.

That was two weeks ago.

Now, as he waits for you to come downstairs, he looks around the house that used to contain so many happy times and feels eaten alive by guilt, grief and immeasurable pain.

“Ready?”

Your voice startles him in the slightest. He puts the cigarette out, tucking his shirt into his pants and nodding at you before letting you walk in front of him.

“I don’t like this any more than you do,” you tell him, unable to stare back at him though.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

“So we’re back to the ‘no talking’ agenda, alright.”

Javier huffs, opening the door for you and hoping you didn’t notice.

But you did. You always do. You just let some things slide for the sake of your own sanity.

The ride downtown, being quiet, allows both of you to contemplate on what you were about to do. There is nothing shameful about it, yet it feels embarrassing that you let it drag to that point. You are both problem solvers, big thinkers, and this is proof that even the brightest of minds need help sometimes.

He just couldn’t understand how it all went downhill so badly.

Seems like yesterday you and he shared your first kiss, innocent, shy, yet so hungry. Seems like yesterday that you went on your first date in Colombia’s crushing heat. Seems like yesterday that he took you to bed for the first time, making you feel like you were on cloud nine for hours on end. Seems like yesterday that he got down on one knee and asked you to do him the honor of being his wife, buying the house you had been living in for the past five years and making plans for the future.

Now the future just seems bleak, an inescapable dark hole for him to drown in.

Javier isn’t stupid. He knows his past issues and pain, carried all the way from Colombia, are still weighing heavily on him and that you unfairly had to carry as well sometimes. He knows that seeking refuge in alcohol, nicotine and, seldom, in you as well, is not a solution, but it’s all he knows. He also knows that he could’ve been by your side more, help you more when you were going through your depression.

Even though he’s not crazy about the idea, he hopes your solution brings some peace of mind to both of you.

He walks behind you as you both enter the building, heart in his throat. He’s barely gotten good at expressing his feelings with you, how is he supposed to open up to a stranger about the most intimate issues in his marriage?

He has to, though. He has to remember that he is doing this for the marriage, for you and him both.

You walk into the office of Ms. Lyndsey Pearson, with Javier behind you, sighing heavily and staring at the ground. You realize he’s uncomfortable, but it’s not like this is a picnic for you either.

“Mr. and Mrs. Peña, right on time,” she says and welcomes you in with a polite smile. “Have a seat, make yourselves comfortable.”

Would if I could, Javier thinks. He doesn’t say anything verbally though. So he sits on the couch, to your left, and remains brooding in the face of the situation.

“So,” Ms. Pearson begins, “why don’t you tell me the reason why you’re here today?”

You look at Javier and realize you’ve never seen him so closed off. You’re both out of your comfort zone, but at least you are more willing to give this a try.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he says, to which you roll your eyes. “Married couple goes to couple’s counseling…?”

“Javier.”

But Ms. Pearson smiles, crossing her legs in her chair and looking at him.

“What’s your personal reason for being here, Javier?”

He falls into a deep silence yet again. He struggles to find the words, but one look in your direction, noticing your unspoken plea written all over your face and he’s ready to give it a shot.

“This is a safe space,” Ms. Pearson adds. “We will work together to get some answers. But in order for us to get there, we need to take the first steps. So, Javier. Wanna start?”

He exhales with difficulty, like he’d been holding his breath ever since you so much as mentioned therapy.

“Fine,” he concedes. “All we’ve been doing for the past year or so is fight and… I’m tired. I’m tired of arguing, drinking so I could numb some of that pain and feeling like I’m in a rut.”

You scoff, causing him to look at you. “What now?”

“You left out the part where arguing leads to careless fucking that then turns to drinking.”

“Didn’t leave it out, but I thought our therapist shouldn’t hear about that.”

“No, no, it’s good to let it out,” Ms. Pearson seemingly encourages you both. “Safe space, let’s remember that.”

You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself and organize your thoughts.

“Is it easier for you to express your feelings in a physical manner, Javier?” Ms. Pearson asks.

Javier frowns, staring at her, and then at you.

“How do you know it’s not her that does that?”

“Good job, blaming your wife.”

“I wasn’t blaming you, I was—“

“Just—just answer the question. Let’s not get into this, I’m begging you.”

Javier runs his hands through his hair, letting out an exasperated huff.

“Yes,” he says, head still buried in his hands. “Yes, it’s easier that way, physically.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“It’s… just easier. It’s something that comes easy, natural for me. I know how to do things, I like to think I’m great at it, and… that’s it.”

You purse your lips together, almost biting them to prevent yourself from any snarky comment. It’s become a habit to be snarky, to hurt, intentionally or not. That, ironically and in return, was easier for you.

“You express yourself better that way,” Ms. Pearson concludes. “Where words fail you, sex comes in handy.”

Javier falters, but nods shyly in agreement.

“Is this how you always handle things, Javier? I don’t assume things were always like this in your relationship.”

“No, they weren’t.”

A trip down memory lane is the last thing Javier would’ve wanted. But he figures it was inevitable, going to a marriage counselor.

It aches to remember how good things were and to realize how fast they all went down the drain. It’s like you are two different people, shadows of your former selves, unable to distinguish the person staring back at you.

That’s probably why he began avoiding your eyes most of the time.

“How were things in the beginning, then?” Ms. Pearson asks.

“We met in Colombia, when I worked there. Everything was… dark and bloody and deadly, and… she was the light at the end of the tunnel.”

You hold your breath, fighting back tears. It’s been quite a while since you last cried, and it most often happened because—damn. Javier claimed he wasn’t good with words, yet whenever he expressed his feelings, it nearly brought you to tears.

Case in point.

“She was… my hope,” he continues. “My reason to stay alive and keep fighting.”

Ms. Pearson sees you looking away, fighting back tears, and her glare returns to Javier. His face isn’t hollow of regret either.

“Why are you speaking about your wife in the past tense, Javier?”

Silence. He’s never wanted to avoid an answer more than he does right now.

“You can say it,” you encourage him, your voice trembling in the slightest.

He turns to you, looking as if he were ready to start a fight.

“Say what?”

“You speak about me in the past tense because you feel like I’m dead to you.”

“That’s not fucking true.”

You turn to him as well. “Isn’t it? You say you feel like we’re in a rut, that I am the reason why you feel trapped in your hometown, and you resent me for it.”

“I don’t resent you.”

“Oh my God, would you stop lying!”

Ms. Pearson stares carefully at you both, not once interrupting. She notices the stiffness in both your bodies, the anger on your faces and the fear of saying any more definitive words.

“Would you just tell the truth?” you beg him. “That’s why we’re here!”

“We’re here because of what you want!”

You stare incredulously at him for a while, failing to recognize the man standing on your left. It seems the man you fell madly in love with had been long buried under a massive pile of resentment and anger—among other issues.

“We’re here because you wanted us to try therapy,” Javier continues. “I thought we should just call it quits, spare us more pain, but no, let’s go talk about the most intimate things in our life in front of a complete stranger to make things even more awkward and painful.”

“You agreed to come here, I didn’t force you!”

“That’s because everything I ever did was for you! Every single fucking thing in this life… it was all for you! Because of you!”

“Javier, have a seat.”

He didn’t realize he was standing up, yelling at you a bunch of nonsensical things. He’s not even sure whether he is actually accusing you of anything. He’s not even sure he’s going anywhere with any of that.

All he knows is that he’s tired and he wants things to return to their incipient state.

“Why do you feel the need to say those things to your wife in such an accusatory tone?” Ms. Pearson asks.

Javier sits back down, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans and avoiding your glare once more.

“I don’t—I don’t know. They just come out. It’s not her fault.”

“Apparently it is,” you mutter.

He doesn’t fire back. You are both equally responsible of the path your marriage had taken, and this is supposed to be an attempt at patching things up.

“Let’s put a pin on this for later,” Ms. Pearson says and calls your name. “How were things in the beginning for you?”

You take a deep breath, feeling your eyes get teary again.

“It was the happiest time of my life,” you say. “I fell in love with this… strong, protective and sexy man that makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world, like I am his world.”

Ms. Pearson nods, eyes on Javier for a fleeting moment, then back on you.

“I notice you use the present tense to talk about Javier.”

“He’s my husband and I love him.”

Your voice breaks as you say those things, and it tears Javier apart. You crumble as he stares at you with those large, puppy dog eyes.

“In spite of everything,” you tell Ms. Pearson, your eyes never leaving him, “he’s my husband. And I love him.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but all that time spent in Colombia is bound to leave some scars.”

“Yes,” Javier says, distraught.

“Have you went to therapy when you returned to Laredo?”

“No.”

“Do you think those years spent there, as you bared witness to all the heartbreak, pain and bloodshed, are still looming over you?”

He falters for a split second. “Yes.”

“Could that be a reason for the way you’re lashing out in this relationship?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now that we’ve established this, why do you think you’re here today?”

The eye contact you make with Ms. Pearson feels deadly. It pierces through your soul and clutches your heart in its harsh grip, but you don’t hide from it. You endure it and seek to emerge successful.

“As I said, I love my husband. I love him, I miss him… and I want him back.”

Ms. Pearson nods, scribbling something on her notepad.

“I want my wife back as well,” Javier adds sympathetically.

“And now we are all on the same page,” Ms. Pearson shows a slight smile. “That’s good. I take it you want to mend things as well, Javier?”

“Yes. It’s true she wanted us to come here, but it’s also true that I agreed. I want things to be okay again.”

“Very well then. Until we meet next time, I’d like for you to try and communicate to each other more openly.”

“How do we do that?” you ask. “Whenever we open our mouths, we end up arguing.”

“And fucking,” Javier leans in to whisper to you.

You stifle a giggle, and luckily Ms. Pearson slides over that remark.

“I have a tip that might help,” she continues. “In order to express your emotions better, start by saying ‘When you do or say this, I feel like’, and so on. Respond to your partner by saying ‘I hear what you’re saying, and I feel such and such’.”

“Okay, that could work,” you reply.

“So for instance, Javier might say, ‘when you make a suggestion without consulting me, it makes me feel such and such’. And then you can respond accordingly, ‘I hear you, and when you do this, this is how it makes me feel’.”

“We could do that, right?” Javier turns to you.

His face is soft and caring, like you haven’t seen it in a while, and it makes your knees weak. In that moment, you know he’s sincere and wishes to work on the relationship just as much as you do.

“Yeah,” you agree. “Yeah, we can do that.”

Easier said than done, though. And what you and Javier did best would not suffice.

Not this time.

next 

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x reader #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña fanfiction #Javier Peña fic #javier pena #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fic #narcos fanfiction #narcos fic #love in the dark series

[tio-trile]

came back here on tumblr after literal years just for gomens 2 stuff and i got a notif from you. I feel happy seeing your blog again,, so its so surprising for me that you disliked s2, purely just bc youre someone i consider as monumental to the entire fandom bc of your loyalty pre-TV era. so it's intriguing to know your thoughts abt the tv version.

i read your points and DAMN you reminded me of the stuff i didnt like back in s1 that I FORGOT bc so many years have passed since i watched + read the series. I forgot how much I loved bastard, asshole Aziraphale. TV him is characterized as 100% good, better than heaven dude which isn't bad.. and hes very fluffy and adorable. But i always liked the difference between that and crowley being a demon and yet nice. i always missed him calling him "my dear" too. If theyre gonna make them lovey dovey in TV, make him call him my dear damn it!!

As a book fan too, i personally loved s2. But reading your points made me realize it wasnt completely perfect so I respect your side. I do hope s3 turns out to be better than our expectations so you can tune back to it again. I just want you to have more content that you can enjoy even if it's completely new stuff. I understand the feeling so bad of having new stuff but being unable to enjoy it (a diff show for me). Makes you wonder what kind of plot he and Terry originally planned for all this fanservicey stuff to happen. I agree about the book part too, Crowley would never throw those around! The part with them meeting as angels, honestly I think it wouldve been better if they just didn't remember it so they wouldn't ruin their first meeting in the book. It would've been fine as a throwaway like "they met but don't remember."

With the finale,, hmmm I think TV!Azira's characterization def plays a part in why he did it. TV!him screams as someone who is still insecure about being an angel and losing his privileges. So he took the only opportunity he could to change heaven so he and Crowley could live in peace, after seeing Gabriel who is alr so powerful, be cast away after that decision. I'm curious though, how would you think book!him would think in this decision?? With an Armageddon 2 coming up again I can't imagine of anything else the two of them could do to fight it again w/o an influence in higher power.

Oh geez, I sure hope that nobody has notification on for my blog right now 😂 (or ever)...it'll be so annoying for them 🤣🤣 and honestly, I'm just some guy on the internet running a blog with no profit to gain from being "loyal" to a fandom, so I'm gonna truthfully share my opinions. And yeah like you said, it's possible to enjoy the book and the show at the same time, just taking into consideration that they are different media and characters. It's hard to imagine book!Aziraphale in this situation because there has been too many differences that led to this situation......and I just don't see book!Aziraphale in this situation, because to begin with, I don't think Gabriel would even go to him in times of trouble, lol. So let's say that Metatron directly went to him after everything had happened and Gabriel had already ran off and offered him the position (with an offer he can't refuse) -- I think he would have to accept on the surface, and then he would immediately go to Crowley to try to work their way out of it/figure out a way to keep the position but still slacks off all the time like he's always done 😂😂

#ask #anonymous #long post #good omens critical #good omens season 2 #gos2 spoilers

[moldingtundra]

thought I’d talk about my interpretation of unpleasant because yes (also I might make an ask blog about it)

Ok so lord timeee!! Content warning for some really sensitive topics (genocide, murder, prostitution, implied abuse, etc.) so watch out.

so unpleasant gradient (aka gradie) was born because his mother was a prostitute (so was his dad but much less so) and his fathers parents found out so they made him marry her, obviously that does shit and eventually when he turned 7 his father left and he was left along and u can kindddaaa imagine what happeneds when ur left with this type of mom whis also an alcoholic and smoker…yeahhh, so he gets two sibs (one if them is older the other is younger, same mom) pleasant gradient (older, named penny) and monotomous graident (younger, named mono) who took care of him when his mother escaped without him at 11 years old including a third sibling who used to take care of him when he was a toddler but ran away from home due to his mom (they were mutated gradient). (gradie has a shit ton, you can imagine why lmao) but he only sees it once and never again, so the three brothers have to survive the famine and genocide going around (it started before gradie was even born) but obviously u can imagine what happens in this typa scenerio (gradie had to almost say bye bye to half of his body bc of a bomb at 12 and watch penny die and mono run away then escape at 15 (the scars dwindled over time dw but it’s still there )) and then there is an opurtunity to escape the country with a bus, but theres only one bus ticket, so a random woman gives it to gradie and sends him off bc she knows he has the most potential and promises to find him (its been 45 years he still hasnt seen them) here’s art of what he looked like back then:

so after he escaped he rebuild his life in the land equivalent of AMERICUH and he attends this high school and he falls in love with builderman but decides not to confess and they both decide to graduate together and try getting it big, builderman did it by building the robloxia community and gradie byt writing his experiences with genocide and hiking high feets no one reached, like he won some guinness world record and some new york times bestseller thing- my guy was packed!!!…..until he got hit by a truck and couldnt do anything anymore (sad 💔) ON TOP OF THAT builderman married jane doe and had thier kid (infected) and graide would by to babysit infected since he was a wee little baby.

so kasper got infected at his 12th birthday. But the infected turns him into a vicious furry or whatever (werewolf if you want) and the first time that happened, he fucking ate his parents and gradie literally just came by to give them lasagna and infecteds present, so now his parents are dead, and graide decides to adopt infected (who hates it lol) and they just raise infected while tryna deal with his furry issue (his furry issue caused him to eat his own cat and some residents) and graide is just like tryna fucking hold himself together bc if the kid u had to babysit thats from ur one sided gay lover who married a fugly woman decides to kill yo one sided gay lover and u had to adopt him I wouldve eaten my organs)

and that’s basically it! Expect an ask blog for him soon this week or before I die lol

toodaloo!

#regretevator #roblox #lore dump #headcanon #interpertation #writing #unpleasant gradient #Infected #infected regretevator #unpleasant regretevator

[lostcauses-noregrets]

I came to the fandom after the manga was already concluded, but how does it feel for people like you who have been in the fandom for a long time to finish the shipping race with your ship ending up as the most plausible one for Levi. Like you must have gone through a lot during the process lol but at the end it must have felt good.

Oh wow.  Did we go through a lot?  Did we ever!  Following the manga realtime was a wild, wild ride, especially after Shiganshina. I’ve already written about the fandom’s reaction to the hell that was the Serum Bowl here. Things did calm down a bit after that, particularly once fans understood that Levi had chosen to save Erwin by allowing him to die, but it was still a turbulent ride. 

Despite Yams hinting that Erwin might appear in flashbacks, there was a real fear that Erwin and his legacy would be completely forgotten and written out of the story.  The fact that Hanji mentioned there would be a funeral for Erwin and the fallen soldiers, and then that funeral never happened and we were straight into the time skip and the Marley Arc, only heightened that fear.  I’m still salty about this tbh. 

One of the things to remember about the Marley Arc is that it ran for 16 chapters and 11 months passed before we saw the Paradis cast again, apart from two blurry panels of Levi in chapter 93. 

There was a lot of anxiety about what was happening in the interim and how Levi would appear when he returned, particularly after the alarming subproduct of Titan science panel in 93.  Personally I was holding out for Levi to return with long hair and Erwin Smith Flame of Hope Tattooed across his chest. (@seitsen-sarvi kindly obliged.)  Isayama himself played on Levi’s absence by drawing pictures on his blog of Levi promoting a hot spring in his home town because he had nothing better to do. 

Once the Paradis cast returned, an even bigger fear was that Levi would forget his vow to Erwin, and speculation was rife about Levi choosing a new liege.  Those theories were blown out of the water in chapter 112 when Levi finally reiterated his vow to Erwin and we had the first of (several) flashbacks to the crate scene. 

Once it was clear that Levi hadn’t forgotten his vow and that his prime goal was still to kill Zeke, some fans felt that his character had stagnated, that he had become petty, vindictive and driven by revenge, that he needed to “get over” his hatred for Zeke, and that he should grow up and move on.  This particular argument used to drive me up the wall and I remember writing some meta pointing out that Levi wasn’t a teenage shounen protag on a voyage of discovery, he entered the manga as a fully formed character, and a grown ass man, and had remained consistent ever since. 

As the denouement of the manga approached, and we had another heartbreaking crate flashback in chapter 136, there was some quite acrimonious debate about whether Levi had sworn his vow to Erwin, or to all the Survey Corps’ fallen soldiers.  Most of this debate focused on points of translation that mostly went right over my head.  Have a look at @tsuki-no-ura's blog where you’ll find a detailed analysis of the translations and many very patient responses to fans.  My take on this particular point was that Levi swore his vow to Erwin, but he swore it on behalf of all the fallen soldiers. 

Another endless point of discourse was whether Levi should live or die.  Some Eruri fans desperately wanted him to die so he could be reunited with Erwin, while other fans were understandably outraged by this suggestion.  Personally I was really torn on this point. Ideally I wanted Levi to survive until the very end of the manga when he would die in a blaze of glory while killing Zeke, and then be reunited with Erwin in the afterlife. I never really thought there was the slightest chance of that happening, so when Hanji got *exactly* the ending that I wished for Levi, I was astonished to say the least.  But I also knew that having done it once, Isayama was unlikely to give the same ending to Levi. 

Ultimately, I think most Eruri shippers were very happy with Levi’s ending; he never forgot Erwin, he remained true to his vow, he killed Zeke, helped to save Humanity (as much as it could be saved), and was rewarded with a final vision of his fallen comrades saluting his sacrifice.  It was beautiful. 

The fact that Levi didn’t join the diplomatic mission to Paradis to negotiate with the Yeagerists, was just the icing on the cake. I love that last image of him living his best life with Gabi, Falco, and the Onyankopon, far away from Pardis and the Yeagerists. 

So yeah, that’s a very, very long winded way of saying, yes, as an Eruri shipper, Levi’s ending did feel good to me.  HOWEVER, I have to add that I’ve never seen shipping as a race to be won or lost. As far as I’m concerned the whole joy of shipping is that you can make your blorbos do whatever the hell you want, regardless of canon.  It really saddens me when some fans seem to spend more time shitting on ships they dislike, rather than creating content for ships that they do like. But at the same time, it also frustrates me when people try to debunk the actual canon story lines.  If you don’t like canon, that’s fine, just ignore it, shipping is all about transformative works after all.

I’m going to give the last word to Isayama, who I think is a lot smarter and more knowing than we sometimes give him credit for.  I know a lot of shippers of all stripes gave a wry smile when they saw this beautiful final panel of Levi with Petra, Hanji and Erwin all front and centre.  

Though I couldn’t help noticing that Erwin is the only one still waiting for their partner in the after life…

#asks #eruri #erwin smith #levi ackerman #eruri relationship #snk #the end

[romaine2424]

Weekly Blog July 21, 2023

Well, I didn't mean to take this long to get back to my blog, but priorities. LOL. The priority was my WIP fic. I've yet to find a beta, but what I did find was Grammarly Pro. My daughter has a subscription. She uses it for final papers for school. I'm sorry, but I'm old and didn't know this AI app existed. So I ran each of my 20 chapters (110K) through the app, and wow, did I learn a lot. As I said in previous posts, what I needed help with was SPAG, sentence structure and word usage. My alpha and I cover the plot continuity and canon issues. It's canon divergent after HBP, so sometimes things slip in that happened in HPDH. *oops* I also ran my the @hd-fan-fair fic through it.

The app does have its problems with what it suggests sometimes. But it's easy enough to work around those. As it doesn't understand the content, it continuously dings me for using pronouns, especially He. And no, I don't want every time I use the word order to be Order or cloak to be Cloak. But thank you for showing me that I use the words just, that, and over a ridiculous amount of times. And thank you for fixing all the double spacing between sentences in the chapters I wrote in 2007 with a simple push of a button. And thank you for reminding me that when someone is going to sit that I don't need to specify that they are going to sit down, or rose up from the chair, or walked over to the exit door.

So, that's what I've been doing, along with a bit of reading. I have two recs! One Drarry and the other Narcissa with a side of Drarry. Both fics are new!

What I've been reading:

The first fic comes from @hd-wireless, which is currently posting. About This Place (10K) by Anon. Here's the Summary:

Harry left everything, including Draco. Harry’s returned to everything, including Draco. Things are never quite so simple, though perhaps they could be. Based on ‘You and I’ by Lady Gaga for Wireless 2023.

This fic is dripping with atmosphere. The majority of the story takes place in a small burlesque bar called Ronnie's. Well, the author is much better than me in describing it:

Within the tiny burlesque bar (or, not-quite-burlesque bar, as Ronnie would say) are the queers that are a shade too queer for the regular gay clubs. Trans butches are ogled by confused twinks, a pretty femme in the middle of the room teases salivating straight women who came here just for fun, and a tall drag queen with an auburn wig flowing down to her waist is on the main stage, singing with a sea of androgynous dancers behind her, winking at her pianist as she launches into a song they most definitely did not rehearse beforehand. The pianist looks annoyed, but really, he’s good enough that he can handle anything Ronnie throws at him. His long blond hair is half up in a bun, and despite his winged eyeliner and red lips and high heels, he’s probably the most unassuming person in here. He’s very pretty, but also concentrated in a way that doesn’t invite people in; you would feel intrusive saying hello, or asking for his number. He’s wearing all black: high waisted jeans, a well-fitted turtleneck—his uniform.

The story, as the summary stated, is about Harry returning to London after travelling for a few years. He and Draco had been in a relationship before he left, and now Harry wants him back. Love this trope. Draco was hurt that Harry left, really hurt. And now, when Harry walks into Ronnie's, he knows he'll succumb to Harry's wants, but there will be resistance. Working through the turmoil of misunderstandings and being scared to take a second chance can sometimes be frustrating to read with this trope. BUT NOT HERE. The author's writing is so beautiful and poignant you become fully immersed. Harry's revelation about his time away, why he went away, and why he's back is just guh! Draco doesn't stand a chance. LOL. Still laughing about the couch!

About This Place by Anon on AO3

The second fic is Night Dragon, Dawn Bird (20K) by Xenjyn (AO3). As the author says in her notes, this is the story that gives Narcissa the agency she deserves. And it is pure poetry. The Summary is just two lines:

"Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?" "Yes."

It begins with the time period right after the war but before the trials. The location is Malfoy Manor, where Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco are living in the midst of the destruction left by Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Narcissa is lying in bed as Lucius sleeps soundly next to her, and she's contemplating all that came before that led the family to this point in time. Draco is traumatized and coming into his own revelations.

Draco is alive and hidden in one of the midnight dark parlors, knees drawn to his chest, sitting in a chair which used to swallow him when he was young. Now he’s too tall for it, his long legs curled to his chest and his hands clutched tight around them, his face hidden in his knees. He’s sleeping, or weeping. Shoulders rising and falling. Or trembling.

...

Perhaps he sleeps less than her, now. The blanket she conjures flutters around his shoulders, weighted, warmed with a charm. It barely touches him but his eyes open, a frightened start, and then her hand is in his hair, thicker than she remembers it, curling at his temples, stroking over his scalp. “It’s only me, my darling. Sleep.” “Mum,” His voice is so small, so rasping, like he were ill, in the deepest clutch of a fever. His hand finds her wrist, squeezing tight. “ Mum . ”

There is a dreaminess to this story. We're immersed in Narcissa's thoughts, and they flit from the past to the present and conjecture of what's to come. And there is a background voice in her thoughts: Bellatrix. She's always there pushing Narcissa with her comments. It's quite creepy but oh-so-delicious.

Bellatrix spins, pulses at her, a star-shine fading in and out, closer and distant, like the voice that used to sneak into her room, like the whisper of a laugh when they were girls, like the hiss of madness outside Severus’s door. Cissy, Cissy, Cissy. She calls, I can ’t sleep, Cissy. I’m bored, Cissy. Play with me, Cissy.

There are four relationships (Narcissa/Lucius, Narcissa & Draco, Narcissa & Harry, Harry/Draco) that we are privy to, and the most surprising is the one between Harry and Narcissa. That forest scene was a nexus point for both. They're connected. But the most heartbreaking is between Lucius and Narcissa. We're treated to their past and how they got together. How much they were in love, but then, Lucius fucked up. I won't give it away, but it was one of the most insightful scenes I've read in dealing with their marriage. There is a side of Drarry in the story, and it's like a soothing balm with everything else that is going on.

I feel like I'm failing to say how good this story is in how beautiful it is to experience Narcissa and her path to her agency. Never forget she is a Black witch. Bellatrix says it best. Cissy, not a threat?

Night Dragon, Dawn Bird by Xenjyn on AO3

I hope you get a chance to read both these fics and please give them comments of love.

I would love to know if you use or have used Grammarly and what you thought of it.

That's all for now,

Rom

#romaine2424 daily blog #july 2023 #drarry fic recs #Narcissa is a BAMF #grammarly

[void-wolfie]

Hiiiii me again mom ☺️

🧡 what is your sexuality?

🖤 favorite hobbies outside of your blog

💜 describe yourself in five words or less!

🧟‍♀️ scariest thing that’s happened to you

🍊 favorite season?

🍒 what is your earliest memory

🖇️ what are your favorite asks to answer

Please feel better! ❤️

heyyy kiddo!! 😊

🧡 - sexuality?

I go by queer or bi!

but in total honesty, I'm still figuring it out as I go lol

🖤 - hobbies?

I technically already answered this one, so here's just the answer from earlier lol

gaming and drawing, I'm not very good at either but who says you have to be good at your hobbies lol

i generally game by myself since most of my friends like first person shooters and those might just be my least favorite lol, and when it comes to drawing I usually just trace stuff and then put my own twist on it

💜 - describe yourself in 5 words?

funny, charming, introverted, resourceful, cunning?

(might've stolen the last two from my Hogwarts house description but it's fine lol... I ran out of adjectives that fit, don't judge me 😂)

🧟‍♀️ - scariest thing that I've experienced?

a while back, right around the time where my friends I started getting cars and driving, I was in a car accident with some friends

everyone was alright, no one was hurt (physically) but it's still one of the scariest memories I have

one second everything was... well I wouldn't say alright since I literally got dumped by my ex that morning and was miserable... but one minute we were all fine, and then next thing I know the car in front of us was stopped, every single airbag in the car had gone off and there were all kinds of gases and stuff filling the car... pretty scary

I didn't realize this till after when the firefighters were pulling our belongings from the car, but apparently we hit the car in front of us so fast my glasses flew off my face and I didn't even realize 😂

everyone was ok though, so it's alright, some slight ptsd but nothing too serious 😂

🍊 - favorite season?

either fall or winter, but I think fall wins

the color changes, the orange leaves (not that we get any where I live lol), it's not too hot or too cold, the holidays that come with it, love it all lol

🍒 - earliest memory?

my family and I used to live in this house, and I guess they wanted to redo the flooring, and my bedroom at the time has carpet

so my parents, tore out the carpet and cleaned the floors, and let their crazy, chaotic, creative 5 year old, paint and draw all over the concrete flooring 😂

I got to paint and draw and do whatever and my parents never had to worry about me ruining fancy flooring, it was a win win for everyone 😂

🖇️ - favorite asks to answer?

literally all of them!

despite being a raging introvert, I love people and I like hearing what you guys have to say!

funny, kind, unhinged, serious, I don't care, ask whatever you guys want (just please be respectful about it lol)

thanks for the asks kiddo! and go back to sleep, it's late where you are 😂

#asks #ask game #ask game answers

[princessofxianle]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

well THANK YOU for asking, you are the first to!

tbh ive been meaning to do this on my main blog bc I take these wayyy too seriously lol but ANYWAY heres my top 10 faves (in no particular order) that I can think of (tbh theres prob more i forgot about, or i wanted to keep only 1 per fandom... except tgcf)

Huge Spoiler Warning: for ALL of tgcf, 2ha, aot, AND JJK MANGA!!!

1. Feng Xin (tgcf)

do i even need to explain this one? loyal to a fault, just a cute lil puppy, one hell of a sculpted archers back, and he's head over heels in love with Xie Lian (but tbh same) i have a lot of thoughts about him on a daily basis on this blog (and also theres the #fx backstory au tag)

2. Noé Archiviste (the Case Study of Vanitas)

MY BABY

the absolute bestest boy of EVER... with a LOAD of unprocessed trauma (yknow the typical stuff like seeing your childhood bff get decapitated in front of you) and a lot more to come once we find out how he kills his boyfriend best friend, Vanitas...

i ALSO think about him a lot but over on @noes-pillow

3. Sejanus Plinth (The Hunger Games: tbosas)

hated reading as a child... HATED it... picked up the og trilogy when i was 12 and i was a goner. The funny thing is i still hated reading for YEARS up until i picked up the prequel novel then in 2020, and now ive read all of tgcf, 2ha, and more fanfic than i could ever imagine... all because this stupid boy (i love him) chose to trust the WORST person as his friend, rip sejanus my baby

the movie is v good btw, if you havent seen it you should

4. Xie Lian (tgcf)

*Taizi Dianxia Fang Xin Guoshi General Hua Xie Lian*

how this man survived 800 years of being physically unable to die and never went insane is a mystery i will never be able to fully comprehend (aaand im in love with him... hmm i wonder why...)

5. Mihael "Mello" Keehl (Death Note)

the chocolate-addicted blonde boi that was my first anime crush... by proxy I must also add Mail "Matt" Jeevas because they are a package deal

these two are also the reason i started writing fanfic so they will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart

6. Xue Meng - (2ha)

*sigh* he's just everyone's fav peacock (yes technically the image is XM 0.5 but he had a cool ass bird so im using this photo bc its COOL anyway...) mengmeng is another one of my trauma bois who has lost next to everything and yet is STILL kicking ass and taking names #thatsmyfuckingsectleader so proud of you my son

also this might get me into hot water here but imma go ahead and say it...

this is what i wanted Jiang Cheng to be... (i LOVE my angy grape but...) through thick and thin, despite EVERYTHING, and even mo ran fucking abandoning him he will still call mo ran his "ge"...

fgjhdfhfdg THEYRE BROTHERS, OKAY???

7. Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)

ok this one i just simply do not need to explain... if you think i do, go watch this whole movie and then there ya go thats your answer...

GENDER

8. River Song (Doctor Who)

aside from being the character that unlocked my unhealthy obsession with :) Main Character Death :) at the ripe ol' age of 8 YEARS (although Will Turner from POTC also helped on that front... Orlando Bloom my beloved) River's story was a stroke of absolute GENIUS from start to finish and i simply love how Alex Kingston played her...

"You don't expect a sunset to admire you back."

I just love the doomed ones, okay...

9. Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen)

look... theres *gojo girlies* uwu and then theres GOJO GIRLIES... i couldn't give 2 shits about how he's fan-serviced (tho im not complaining) but have you SEEN the amount of grief pumped into that man? he could explode in a fit of fucking insanity at literally any moment and take the whole goddamn world down with him bc what happened with suguru WASNT FAIR to him and satoru has more than enough power to go apeshit... but he DOESN'T... even after losing so many of his co-sorcerers... he still puts on a brave face to the end in order to protect the childhood of his students even tho his own youth was stolen from him during hidden inventory...

SEE? The DOOMED ones!

10. Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)

i read the manga during my last year of uni and when i tell you i SOBBED at the end... yes ofc for obvious reasons, but mostly bc my little Levi loses EVERYTHING. He is the SOLE survivor of the veteran scouts. He's missing multiple fingers, an eye, and the ability to walk. He was the strongest (yowaimo) but wasn't even granted the mercy to die at the end of his narrative! Broke my fucking heart.

BONUS: Morph (Treasure Planet)

he's a morph!!! nuff said <3

fin

#thanks for the ask friend! #gonna rb this to my main too bc i needed a new one of these #alex talks #asks #i swear im gonna wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night remembering a character i forgot lol oh well i tried

[stormblessed95]

Hi this isn't a memories ask but I've been seeing many anti-jikookers and tkkrs (same thing really) use this one quote as proof jikook aren't a thing which is: "The maknae who has worked harder from a young age than any of the other members. Perhaps because he's the same age as my actual (biological) brother so I often look after him, but at some point I began to see him as my real brother. He's cute no matter what he does." First of all I was wondering if you knew when/where this was? I tried looking it up and found only a taekook blog and quora talking about it and didn't want to click those links and also was wondering if he says nam-dongsaeng there if you know? Either way I don't really think it changes much I mostly just wanted to check.

Sigh... I never enjoy it when you guys bring me things asking for sources from tkkrs. Lol BUT I genuinely am always very happy to help find original content. But I won't lie and pretend like I'm not happy that I'm doing this when my asks off because *certain* people take advantage of the anon option way too frequently. Lol

This was from a Japanese Magazine issue in 2017. 170620 Non-no Magazine issue to be specific. You can watch the making film here

And I'll attached the scans of the Magazine here too as well, jikooks cuts

Jimins interview answers

Jungkook's Interview answers

Now the part in question comes from the segment where 2 members each said something about one of the other other members. Original scans here

I found two translations of this moment, one being one the one that gets used most often as a "gotcha" by tkkrs. Both I found here:

So sources given, and now I'm also going to give my opinions over it all. Even though no one asked me to. Its my blog so I get to share my thoughts if i want to. Lol and I actually talked with and ran my thoughts by and got opinions from @marengogo as well and I be referencing that conversation as well. I asked them about it because they speak fluent Japanese and I do not and considering its a Japanese interview, i wanted to make sure I didn't over step.

To preface, once again, these are MY thoughts. My PERSONAL OPINIONS. Not fact, not right or wrong. Not anything other than opinions that are free for interpretation and everyone is welcome to disagree or whatever. But this is also not me opening up this subject for further discourse either.

To ME PERSONALLY, this reads a bit as translator nuance. When you take an interview that goes from Korean to Japanese for publication, and then goes from Japanese into English by volunteer translators for I army, sometimes, things get unintentionally wonky. Because language is nuanced by itself, especially languages that deal so heavily in honorifcs and deal with those honorifics differently, like Korean and Japanese, and then bringing all that into English, where most of those words aren't *really* translatable. So TO ME it reads a lot like translator nuance honestly. And like he was comparing him to his brother with the age thing and the cute thing, not necessarily saying "we are like real brothers" but I can also recongize my possible bias here. Lol but even if he really did say in early 2017 that he thinks of JK like a real brother, I can see it as JK changing his mind (because I do think JK would have had to put in that work) or honestly also just Jimin downplaying their relationship, like he often does and did while trying to describe how close they are. (Aka hyuna and e'dawn "he's like my brother" comments before revealing their relationship.)

And what I'm talking about with the difference in honorifics between the 2 languages, ones dongsaeng might get combined with another's jitsu otouro. How many people have added "real" younger brother in English when translating things where Jimin has said dongsaeng, and he didn't ever actually say real, but it got added in an effort to explain the untranslatable word in English to I armys. I'm curious because if he said dongsaeng in Korean, would it have been translated to otouro in Japanese? Like how so many translators here will say my little brother/real younger brother/sibling when jimin says dongsaeng in English?

Like I feel like it could be so easy for Jimin to say, he is the same age as my actual little brother and at some point I really started thinking of him as a dongsaeng. And for that to get mixed up a bit with all the different types of honorifics between languages who have their own rules for that stuff and have it come out this way too. @marengogo explained all the different Japanese honorifics rules to me and while they have *similar* rules to Korean honorifics with things like hyung/dongsaeng, they are also very different. And I'm open to learning more if someone has more to teach about the language here too. But I just feel like it's a easy translation context to get mixed up between 3 different translations. It's impossible to know without Jimins original answer to this interviewer, if he meant Chindongsaeng or if it got a bit twisted around during translations. Based off EVERYTHING else, I personally don't think he meant Chindongsaeng. But I'm also not Jimin and I don't actually know. That's just me, my guesses and my thoughts over the matter personally based on everything else we know and other context.

@marengogo also added during our conversation a tidbit about translating they noticed while watching memories, where jikook were sitting on the couch before Jimin got called away for his makeup. Their exact comment was: "During the conversation, towards the end everyone was translating what JK said as “with who?” But I was looking at the Japanese subs and he was saying “where are you going?” So who was right? Translating is … an art of understanding, waiting and analysing (just knowing vocabulary is not enough, culture, history etc is needed) we really just have to take our time and analyse. Eventually when you heard jk properly he did say 어디가 which is “where are you going?”"

Interesting thoughts about things that are easy to happen during interviews and events that take place in languages that aren't your native tongue. It's also easy to mix up your words and honroifcs when speaking a language that is not your own as well without necessarily realizing right away. Language is hard. Translating is hard. I have so much respect for the people who do translate for us. And regardless, like I said before, even if it was meant Chindongsaeng, it doesn't change my thoughts much about their relationship as a whole.

Hope that helps. Sorry for my essay at the end but thank you for asking and for trusting me to deliver you to proper sources and content that is out there! That makes me happy 💜💜 Hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the day! And thanks to @marengogo once again for helping me with my Japanese questions!!

#jikook #kookmin #170620 nonno magazine jikook #jikook he is like my real brother #jikook in 2017

[cheelieve7]

Pavement Rose Part 4 - Sweet for breakfast

Fandom: The Boys (Amazon Prime TV Series)

Pairing: Black Noir x OC

Hello! I really don’t know if anyone is following this fic seriously but i’ll just assume so and say, i’m sorry for the break! I’m genuinely depressed after that last ep y’all lol But my boy deserves a hug so, anyways, i hope you guys like this! 

Tags: @joequinngf​

For the first part: 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cheelieve7/686962414693040128?source=share

For the second part:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cheelieve7/687694097503420416?source=share

For the third part:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cheelieve7/689079191986208768?source=share

I opened my eyes. Everytime i did, i couldn’t prevent the feeling lost. I didn’t know if i felt this way because latest memory i could muster was filled with nothing but confusion. Now every time i opened my eyes, i expected to be lost again both physically and mentally. I also couldn’t help feeling like a total stranger to my own place. At first i thought that was just because i was staying in a hotel but it unfortunately didn’t make any progress when i moved into my own place as well. It almost felt like i broke into someone’s home and fell asleep on the couch.

Ha. I fell asleep last night huh. Oh. I quickly searched for the space under me as if i was looking for a remote. Like as if he could be stuck between pillows. Where was he? I bit my lip. God i hope i didn’t drool. I didn’t know what i exactly expected but i was surprisingly disappointed when he just left like that, without even a note. My eyes searched one more time the coffee table for that small piece of paper.

Nope. What did i even expect i mean.

‘‘Oh well. Consider yourself lucky he was okay with lilo&stitch.’‘

The hell i was gonna feel myself lucky for. This was my house i mean. ‘’I dare him to not be okay with lilo&stitch.’’ i answered to myself.

Sigh. What was i gonna do with him? Was there gonna be even another time i wondered. I mean sure, we’d come across during work. I just didn’t recall a single time he formed a sort of exchange. But then he’d accept the invite to my place and watch an animation with me all night, not minding me snoozing on his shoulder. One would define my companionship last night less than ideal. But how about me?

Now i changed my position from laying down on my side to facing the TV with my legs and arms all stretched out for a yawn. I let my arms fall to the backside of the sofa. Did i enjoy his companionship? I gave one last look around in hopes of a note. So what if i did? How bad could it get? And that was only if we ever hanged again. It wasn’t like he swung by after work everyday. Ha. When i think about it, i don’t think we ever ran into each other except when i was randomly in mortal danger.

‘‘Idiot.’‘

‘‘What did you even think you idiot.’‘ i murmured again to myself. Now i grabbed one of the pillows up to my chest to gain some sort of consolidation. But but... he made a little heart. That must have mean something. I pulled my legs to myself and made a little fetus position, now pillow under my chin. Maybe i should had ask for more explanation then and there instead of simply inviting him over. He must have thought i understood it. I reached for my purse and grabbed the sandwich from yesterday. When i realized i was holding the damn sandwich with both hands as if it’s the most valuable thing in the world while i’m intertwined with my blanket due to all stretching around and pillow safely sitting on my lap, i decided maybe it would be a better idea to have my breakfast on my kitchen instead.

Just when i reached my counter two things hit me. I actually had his number. When i got the first gift, the phone; my phone, he sent a message with it. I never seemed to receive an answer to my previous attempts before but now maybe things would go different. And there were a plate of fresh puffy pancakes just waiting there for me.

Okay, i was simply gonna ignore the amount of things he caught about me and how he did and proceed to just try messaging him instead. I just seemed to have a knack on people’s moods well, most of the time anyways and i wanted to trust myself on this. No matter how creepy it’d come off some things he’d do one would say, when we were on the sofa together last night and just enjoying the moment, i didn’t get any alarming feeling. And that was good enough for me.

‘‘You bitch you actually did enjoy it didn’t you.’‘ i couldn’t help smirking to my own words. It was refreshing to not feel the urge to keep making up a story for everything because i didn’t remember the original story i had. No matter how much i liked hanging out with Paige, there was this need to keep up just so i wouldn’t come off as weird. Hell, i still did come off as one i bet but i didn’t want to risk losing very few friends i had. I took a big bite from one of the pancakes to distract myself from amount of thoughts i’d bury myself in. God, this was good. I couldn’t help myself chuckle. Just imagining him with a little apron over his suit, waiting on top of the pan, spatula on hand, ready to flip the pancake any minute. God. That’d have been a sight to see.

‘‘Such a shame you did so many yummy pancakes but didn’t stay long enough to share.’‘ 

I read the message couple of times before i decided to send it. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say or if i’d even finally receive an answer from him. But it didn’t hurt to try. I kind of wanted to see him again. He was a mystery himself and it was intriguing to worry about someone else’s background for once.

I tucked the rest of the pancake to my mouth and threw in one of the banana slices as well.

‘‘Oh god he sliced a banana.’‘ i giggled.

I decided to make a plate and carry the fun back inside to my sofa. Grabbed two more pancakes and i randomly poured the ‘’sliced’’ fruits i saw on the other plate to mine and grabbed the chocolate sauce from the fridge. This was good enough. And since it was a Saturday, i didn’t have to rush to eat in as well. Hell, could even brew some tea and treat myself. I quickly turned my stove on for some hot water and carried my plate to the living room. Just when i was finally gonna sit on the sofa, i heard the door knock.

No way.

No. way.

I heard the door knock three more times.

‘‘Um comiiing!’’ after moving over my small shock, i rushed to the door only to surprise even more.

‘‘Black Noir.’‘

‘‘Hi.’‘ hi? Stupid. Stupid! He lifted up his hand and gave a small wave when i looked at him like a rabbit that just jumped in front of a car and got blinded by its headlights.

‘‘Errm, why don’t you come on in?’‘ i opened the door a bit to give him space. I tried to get it together my composure as well. I must have looked really funny right now. After he payed a quick look, he walked past me towards the familiar room. I followed him behind, feeling like a kid compared to his build.

‘‘Would you like me to make you a plate as well then?’‘ i asked, knowing well enough he wouldn’t answer. He just settled down to the place like it was his usual hangout. I couldn’t hide away my smile. He was this unreadable assassin to everyone. Intimidating. Terrifying. Monster. But there he was. Passing rabbit drawings to me and making pancakes for breakfast. He almost looked innocent sitting between my colourful pillows and small blanket. Came to share pancakes.

‘‘I want to try something.’‘ i blurted out. I didn’t know what came over me but i felt so bold out of a sudden. I was filled with adrenaline. My heart was beating my chest just too loud. I marched in front of him and get down on my knees. I wasn’t gonna back down on my plan. Our eyes met. Was he nervous? Yesterday i was tired enough to pay attention to his mood but now i could sense it. He was nervous. I slowly moved up while i rested my palms on both of his knees and placed one of my knees between his legs to the sofa for support. We were so close. I could feel him tense up with unclarity of my motions.

‘‘It’s okay.’‘ i tried to give him reasurrance. He placed his hand to my chest. It was embarassing to know he could hear it all too well how fast my heart was beating. I shut my eyes for a quick second. Okay. No back down. I opened my eyes and held his hand. He looked at my hand to understand what i was doing. After my fingers lingered around with his a little, i placed his hand on the backside of my hand and once again i held our eye contact.

‘‘See. If i do something you don’t like, you can stop me.’‘ i quickly explained. And i did the same to his other hand that was holding my chest. Now it was time for the hard part. I slowly held his chin with both my hands. I was almost sitting on his lap now. My legs were curled under me uncomfortably but i was still between his legs. And god, were we close. I circled my thumbs over his masked cheeks. He didn’t move away his gaze for one moment. It was as intense as if he saw through me. Made me shiever a little when i looked back at him.

‘‘It’s okay.’‘ i repeated. And i slowly moved my hands to his neck. I looked back in confirmation. And slowly started to lift the mask up. I could feel his hold that was following my hands were getting tight in warning.

‘‘It’s okay.’‘ i said one more time. But i continued to lift. And i stopped when i reached his nose.

‘‘Now i see you too.’’ i murmured. I had a sheepish smile on my face, i was mesmerized by the trust he’d just put in me. I kept running my fingers on his bare face now as if i was the one tracing his features. Originally my plan was up to this point but a new curiousity hit me. I smiled at him again with the idea i just had. I placed my hands to his shoulder this time and slowly close in. I wasn’t sure how he’d react so i was dramatically slow. I didn’t pull my gaze from his eyes as well. Then our lips finally met. I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and pulled back to see his reaction. But when i felt his arm wrap around me as if wanting to pull me closer, i wrapped one of my arms to his neck as well. Our chests were pressing to each other now. He pulled me up, took me into his lap and i let my legs fall into either side of him. My hands were tracing patterns on the nape of his neck now. His fingers were searching for in the folds of my t shirt, almost in an attempt to feel me under the soft material. Our lips clashed once again. The kiss was filled with so much more heat now. His tongue devoured into my mouth. I couldn’t help escape a soft moan. And after couple more small kiss, i pulled back and rested my head on his helmet.

‘‘This is okay.’‘ i smiled. I took one of my legs and threw over his lap as if i was laying down. I rolled my arm tight around his neck while i reached out to a piece of pancake from my plate.

‘‘Wanna taste? You sort of came here for this after all.’‘ i laughed and held it up to his mouth. He took the bite in with one sharp move and start chewing. I could feel his content. That just put me at ease too. It was a weird sensation but i felt safe. Accepted. Belong. I liked it. I rubbed my nose to his neck and rested my head in the crook of his neck. And brought my other arm over his left arm and held it there. I could get used to this.

‘‘Thank you for the pancakes.’‘ i hummed.

#black noir #black noir fanfiction #black noir x reader #the boys tv #the boys #the boys fanfiction #black noir fandom #black noir x you #black noir fluff

[ashrifts]

it's my blog i get to be as self-indulgent as i want!!! messy and unorganized talk about ran and kids down below but tldr ran adopts a kid (later on, not during the verse itself) in the final timeline✌️

i read this comic a while back and i keep thinking about it... you know that feeling when you find a piece of art that perfectly aligns with your headcanons about your muse? yeah... yeah........

summary:

while ran watches kakucho take care of the kids at the orphanage, he wonders what's so good about raising children. one kid in particular always likes to ask ran to play with him, which confuses him. ran asks if the kid's gotten used to life in tenjiku (the orphanage). he says yes. he gets to eat every day, and kakucho and izana are kind, but izana can be really scary when he's angry. when the kid first arrived, he said he was an unwanted child, and izana got angry and told him to never say that again the kid says ran is really nice. he's always bringing snacks and games, but ran disagrees. his "kindness" is only out of selfishness. ever since he was little, ran has felt as if there's a "scary monster" inside him, but he didn't hate it. no matter what he did, rindou would always follow him, so ran didn't care about what the monster made him do. ran did whatever he wanted. he thought that maybe one day the monster would go really far... but then he met kakucho and izana. for the first time in his life, he found something that he "longed for". izana and kakucho were unreasonable and extreme, but they were good guys. "when i'm illuminated by that light, i can keep being human. that's why, for my own sake, i'm kind to them." the kid, understandably, doesn't really get it, which ran wasn't really expecting him to. but then he asks ran to squat down and gives him a hug, saying, "when i’m not feeling okay, izana and kakucho do this to me. there, there. it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay." ran thinks to himself that funnily enough, by trying to raise a child, he ended up being raised instead (aka by trying to teach a kid a lesson, the kid ended up teaching him one instead).

that bit about the "monster" is something i've had as a headcanon for ran for the longest time (in less childlike terms anyway lol), because ran is... usually apathetic, doesn't care about anything except himself and rindou. i doubt he cared much about killing that one guy when he was 13. he lives his life in a neutral kind of numbness and needs something to keep him entertained.

i do blame wakui on not properly utilizing the s62 guys and just making them lose to make toman/south look better LOL, but i really don't think he took any of his fights seriously, simply because he couldn't be bothered. he had no stakes in any of them... until kakucho and izana got shot. aside from situations with rindou, that is the only time we see him show genuine emotions as opposed to him just being there acting nonchalant, mocking, or wearing what i call his fake bitch smile.

he says so himself: somehow he came to respect kakucho and izana, which i would say was the very first time he came to care about other people (and listen to what they say), ever. these two singlehandedly pulled ran back down to earth when he's always believed himself above everyone else. if he hadn't met them, he would have stayed completely apathetic to everything that didn't involve rindou. in a way, they do keep him "human", even if it's not by the normal moralistic standards.

this is especially true in the happy ending timeline, where he and rindou settle for a relatively peaceful life being club owners. though they didn't follow izana to work for his non-profit org, i KNOW for a fact that ran visits the orphanage frequently to give tons of gifts to the children there and they love him for it LOL. this, too, isn't because he cares particularly about children, but because he's still looking after izana and kakucho in his own way... also he likes to look good and these orphan kids adoring him makes a good impression for him lmao

.........and i loved this comic in particular, not only because of how well it portrayed my headcanon, but because i'm very fond of tired old men being worn down by a cute optimistic child who they end up directly or indirectly adopting <3 which means i'm half-stealing the comic's kid and making him my oc to incorporate him into my ran's final timeline verse <3 (half-steal bc the kid is just a stock character with no name LOL it's free real estate)

i don't really see ran with kids, but i also don't think it's unlikely. he's very much a family-oriented man, so it can go either way depending on the timeline tbh, but personally i always saw him with a daughter who inherited his diva attitude because of how much he'd spoil her rotten LMAOOOO but i see her existing more in a bonten-like verse tho, so for the happy end, i wanna give him a kid who also "keeps him human."

i'll have to make a whole entirely different post for their relationship and their history later, but for the final timeline, ran is very close to this boy from the tenjiku orphanage whom he ends up adopting years later and naming ren, obviously to match with him and rindou's names because being more "human" doesn't mean he's more "humble" LOLLL

#i love talking to myself that's what my blogs are for #im off to start stardew valley bc i bought it last night and then finally watch the new episode >:) #. * ❛ ooc. #* ( ​​starving skeleton valley ) ›› / * headcanon.

[i-drink-and-i-write-fics]

Year In Review

I posted 807 times in 2022

140 posts created (17%)

667 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@themerriweathermage

@i-drink-and-i-write-fics

@tallulahchanel

@tolkienblackgirl

@cohmac-vitus

I tagged 275 of my posts in 2022

#sleepover celebration - 51 posts

#ask a mutant - 45 posts

#original female character - 36 posts

#sleepover thirst - 33 posts

#timeless warrior - 31 posts

#elrond - 26 posts

#lotr - 26 posts

#all my mutants in a queue - 25 posts

#lord of the rings - 23 posts

#fanfic - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#but if i was on my period i'd end them before they sat down bc hunger and hormones

(Soooo.....that is not even one of mine. Tumblr grabbed a tag no doubt from a post I reblogged as my longest tag 🤦‍♀️😂)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Update

Hey all! My stories are slow to come out right now due to me having Covid. I have the vaccines and booster, so now I just need to ride it out.

Thank you for your patience.

💙 Marvelous Mutant

26 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

#4

Just A Moment In Time

Everett Ross x Black Fem!Reader - Unknown Chapters

Work Summary: Sequel to Agent or Princess, part 2 of Royal Agency. Reader and Everett need a vacation. So they leave to see Reader’s family in Wakanda, where Reader has a happy surprise waiting for Everett.

Requested by @tallulahchanel​​ (she also did the amazing mood board!)​

Chapter 1: Time Away

Summary: Reader convinces Everett that they need a vacation. So they go to a country that has already welcomed them with open arms.

Notes: umhlobo = friend

Hopefully, I got the write translation. Please let me know if I need to fix it.

“Everett, please! We need this!”

“We just went on vacation!”

You threw your hands in the air. “Two years ago after I first moved in! We are long overdue.”

Everett signed and looked up from his desk. You had come into your shared office to approach the idea of getting away. Needless to say, it wasn’t going well.

“What’s going on, ___? I’ve never seen you this wound up before.”

You sighed as you moved closer to his desk. “I- I’ve been feeling buried at work lately. The Avengers are doing what they can with how few of them there are and I almost feel like I live at the compound. And you’ve been working overtime with the new recruits. We barely even have date nights anymore, Ev.”

He ran his hands over his face before sitting back in his chair. “You’re right. You’re right. We live under the same roof and yet it seems like we see each other less.”

Smiling, you walked around his desk and sat on the edge next to his chair. “Which is why we need to get away. Let Robins train the new agents.”

See the full post

26 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#3

Hello! May I request a fic of fem!Reader being married to Ser Jorah Mormont (like after his divorce from Lynesse Hightower, fem!Reader and Jorah fall in love and get married) and Reader is as devoted and loving to Jorah and he is to her no matter the trials they go through (I just want some fluff)?

I just love writing for Jorah. This is a little short, but hopefully I can write more for him soon (outside of Queen’s Guard, lol!)

The Bear and the Maiden Fair: Jorah Mormont x Fem!Reader

Jorah never thought he would see the day, when he could be happy again. But here he was...with you. He can barely remember when you met, but the how stands out: Khaleesi.

It was so long ago, in the Western Market of Vaes Dothrak, that he first saw you. The Western Market was not one he had frequented as the traders were from lands such as Yi Ti, Qarth, and Asshai. The latter where you had hailed from. But Daenerys was curious about the food and wine you were selling and so often she went, dragging her Bear along. 

When you first laid eyes on Jorah, you were struck by how handsome he was, and Daenerys noticed that. So she asked questions about where you were from for Jorah. But Asshai was a mysterious land that few in Westeros and Essos knew about. And at first, you didn’t want to fill in the gaps of knowledge, afraid it would chase the Bear off.

But Jorah provided to be far more stubborn than you realized. Almost more than you were. And Daenerys could see it. She wanted her longest supporter to be happy and so she would frequent the Western Market. Which meant Jorah frequented as well, wanting to protect her while Khal Drogo was gone hunting.

It wasn’t long before you and the Bear became close. You were the one who convinced Jorah to be honest with Daenerys. You were the one who talked Drogo down from killing him once the truth came out, explaining why Jorah did what he did and how he wasn’t the same man any more. You were the one who stood by his side to protect Daenerys from her brother, Viserys. 

And when the khalasar left Vaes Dothrak, you were by his side. Wanting to see more of the world west of the Dothraki sea. So of course, Daenerys did all she could to push you two together.

Now, you were the lady to the Master of Laws, living with Jorah inside the Red Keep. The wars were a blur, but now the realm was united under a dragon banner once again. 

“What is on that mind of yours, my love?”

Jorah turned at your voice, not able to help the smile that crossed his face. You were in a red gown trimmed in black. Since Jorah could no longer be the Lord of Bear Island, Daenerys had declared you both were her family and now dawned the colors of House Targaryen. And perhaps he was bias, but they looked good on you.

“I was merely thinking how incredibly lucky I was that our queen insisted on visiting the Western Market back in Vaes Dothrak,” his gravely voice was always comforting to you.

You smiled. “Lucky, indeed. Anyone else would have steered clear of our mysterious wares.”

Jorah chuckled as he pulled you close. “Very little would scare our queen away.”

“You, as well, it seems. The mysterious lady from the Shadow Lands of Asshai didn’t fighten the Bear of Westeros.”

“Never,” he leaned down to kiss your lips. Jorah couldn’t remember a time he was this happy and would do whatever it took to keep it.

Tagging Crew:

Everything

@itsafansworld07

@that-chick212

@keetnerj01

@liadamerondjarin

Jorah Mormont

@harpers-ramblings

@of-stars-and-pens

Requested

@groovy-lady

43 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#2

of course, LOTR/TH men... elves... and men

Aragorn

Faramir

See the full post

47 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Gandalf’s Visitors

Lord Elrond x Fem!Reader - One-Shot

Summary: Gandalf comes to Imladris with a Company of thirteen Dwarves and a scared-looking Hobbit. Elrond’s wife, the reader, tries to bring peace between the two groups during dinner.

Requested by @middleearthsweetheart​

Notes: as mentioned before, all stories will now be links to AO3

Story here!

Tagging Crew:

Everything

@itsafansworld07​

@that-chick212​

@keetnerj01​

@liadamerondjarin​

Elrond

@themerriweathermage​

@theyeetedsoul​

@awkwardkindatries​

59 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #why couldn't I do this on mobile?