Tumgik
#i said to myself ‘ppl havent even read ur story yet! ur a writer who hasnt even finished a book u cant die yet!’
everythingsinred · 3 years
Text
i just want to get my book printed and own a hard copy but its hard to work on sketches or editing when nobodys been interested in reading. im feeling so self conscious, like maybe nobody wants to tell me how bad it is. i tried editing a lil the other day and just the first chapter, which ive always been happy with, seemed so stupid. i dont wanna work on it when i feel like this :(
#its hard to be fair to yourself when ppl treat ur story with apathy and at times even disdain#this story means so much to me im just so insecure rn#little anya things#i mean when nobody wants to read u gotta start asking urself why that might be#is it abt me? or is my writing bad? is my story bad?#im overthinking everything and i feel like shit#ive felt like sht for a few days now actually and i wanna cry but its hard talking to ppl abt it#bc idk if anyone will understand how much it has been full body hurting me#its just a dumb book#just some ocs#but its my whole life and has been for a full decade#putting ur whole soul into something and getting less than a lukewarm reaction is like being stabbed hhhhhhh#its affecting my job and my mood and sleep schedule and my appetite#and even my mom couldnt find much nice to say abt it#i feel like such shit#i stayed alive for this#this is what kept me going#i said to myself ‘ppl havent even read ur story yet! ur a writer who hasnt even finished a book u cant die yet!’#and i stayed alive and i finished my first book and nobody cares#my mom cant even compliment it#that thing that kept me going meant fucking nothing to anybody else#it just feels so awful#ive been in a secret bad mood for DAYS abt this why even bother writing anymore#at work all i can think abt is this and it makes me wanna break down and cry at any moment#ugh i just dont wanna work on anything anymore#its never gonna get published anyway#ppl either insult it or say nothing at all and its not encouraging so maybe ill just give up for now#who fucking cares
0 notes