#i rly dont know what to do i just wish i could interact with people withour feeling this massive barrier | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

effervescentdragon · 6 months

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you get a part of redredred, the 2022 season sebchal that runs parallel to niamh's valewis. it follows the 2022 season and has flashbacks. its around 50k or more and dont think i'll ever finish it because it hurts, but who knows. 💜

Bahrain 2022

Seb wakes up on the couch and groans in discomfort. No matter how persistently he’d searched for the most comfortable couch out there, he still woke up hurting. It’s the age, not the couch, he thinks and sighs. Then he remembers yesterday.

A grin overtakes his face. Charles won.

Charles won, and Seb couldn’t help himself. He’d almost screamed when Charles was informed by Xavi that Max had engine problems, and hearing Charles scream and laugh in joy was… wonderful.

I’m not the last Ferrari GP winner, he thinks, and the thought doesn’t even hurt. Charles is, he thinks, and grabs his phone with a smile.

Two (2) new messages.

He’d congratulated only two people on the grid yesterday, because he couldn’t not. He was too tired to even contemplate picking up the call from Lance, or Lawrence, and he wanted to talk to Mick on the phone sometime today, because he knows that he would’ve taken finishing just out of the points very hard. He is still smiling as he opens the first message.

From: Charles

Please don’t hate me. Wish you were here.

His smile falls instantly.

“Fuck.”

Seb stares at the words on the screen. Please don’t hate me. Fuck. As if he would hate Charles, God. As if he could, for fucks’ sake. His head hurts. His fucking heart hurts.

“What have I done to you,” he mutters to himself, getting up to get some coffee. He knows he needs to eat, but he can’t stomach anything at the moment. He does take a glass of water and the coffee, and goes back to the couch.

One (1) new message.

“Fuck it,” he repeats. He needs to talk to someone. “Might as well.”

From: Lewis

Hey man, how are you? And thanks, I rly wasn't expecting it. It was a bouncy ride, a bit too bouncy if I'm being honest

Their chat history is open, the congratulatory message for the podium Seb had sent him the night before the last interaction they've had.

Seb hesitates for just a second, and then starts typing.

To: Lewis

Glad you made it through. I'm alright, feeling a bit better. Still tired though. How was Toto at the party? :)

From: Lewis

Susie was there, so you can imagine :) I think he wants to cut off even more parts from the car. He was pretty happy that ur home team had a bad day tho :)

Seb can't help but chuckle at that. The animosity between Christian and Toto always went deep, but it reached new heights in the last season. Seb gets it, and privately he thinks Toto is right about most things, but there is still a part of him that's probably always going to be uncomfortable about bad-mouthing Christian, even though the man has changed much throughout the years.

The fact that Lewis can tease him about Red Bull is a good sign, though. He still refuses to address them by name, which is a bit petty in Seb's opinion. Then again, Seb himself is far from being immune to pettiness.

To: Lewis

I know you don't mean Ferrari, because they wiped the floor with you :)

He regrets the message as soon as he sends it, especially when the answer comes back instantly.

From: Lewis

Yeah, Carlos was so good, man, easily one of his best drives. Your boy was on fire tho. The way he defended, damn. Did you see it?

Seb hates the way his pulse quickens. He hates the way Lewis' words make him feel. He shouldn't be feeling like this, because. Well. Because nothing and no one in Bahrain is his. Lewis' message is calculated to provoke him, but Seb doesn't mind it that much. He knows what his friend is doing - giving him a push and an out at the same time. It's on Seb to take it or leave it.

To: Lewis

Yeah, I watched the race. Wanted to see what the cars could do, and some of it was surprising. Good for Kevin and Mick :)

He pauses. He could leave it at that, and Lewis would accept it. They don't have to talk about it anymore. He can just leave it all at that.

Seb can't help himself. He never was one for avoidance; at least not with Lewis. Maybe only with Lewis.

To: Lewis

He's not my boy.

The reply is instantaneous.

From: Lewis

Not for lack of trying on his part

From: Lewis

Did you at least congratulate him?

Seb closes his eyes for a moment, covers them with his hand. He wants not to have this conversation. He wants a Jäger shot. He wants -

It doesn't matter what he wants. A lot of things don't matter, even though he wants them to. A lot of things matter, even though he tries to pretend they are as unimportant as possible.

Lewis could always see through him, though. Seb owes him honesty, and cares for him too much to try to mislead him; the only person he lies to regularly is himself, really. He appreciates Lewis too much to lie to him in any way. They’ve been through everything, and they’ve faced it all more or less together, and there was no reason anymore to keep up pretenses, when they knew one another inside and out in both the best and worst ways.

He knows why Lewis texted him, and he can't help but smile. Lewis always saw too much with those eyes of his, and he knew Seb needs the push.

To: Lewis

He asked me not to hate him.

To: Lewis

As if I ever could.

The reply is slow to come, or it just seems that way. Seb stares at his phone the whole time after sending the message, his heart in his throat. All the reasons for his avoidance of the topic come to mind, and he tries to take a deep breath to calm himself. He opens Lewis' message.

All that he manages to do is choke on air and almost cough out his lungs when Lewis' messages come in one after the other.

From: Lewis

I asked him if he wanted to be lifted in the air. He said, and I had to google this to write it right jsyk, "Nicht jetzt, danke". His pronunciation is terrible tho, worse than mine

From: Lewis

I think he missed you on the podium

From: Lewis

I think he misses you a lot

I miss him too, Seb thinks. I miss him so much, but it doesn't matter. It's better this way, Seb thinks. "Il Predestinato," he whispers to himself. He sighs and types.

To: Lewis

It's better like this.

Lewis' reply is angry, and Seb should have maybe expected it, but it still takes him aback.

From: Lewis

For fucking who, Seb?

Sebastian has committed himself to this course of action, or, well, inaction, and he will stick to it. He has to.

To: Lewis

For him. He has the car now, and his whole destiny. He is older, and more experienced, and he isn't impatient any more.

He hesitates, then adds on the phrase he's been repeating to himself for the past two years at least.

To: Lewis

He doesn't need me. Not anymore.

From: Lewis

Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep easier?

From: Lewis

You were always bad at lying, man, but this is just pathetic

Fuck, Seb thinks. Lewis always sees too much, and this time he's not backing off for some reason. "Fuck you," he says out loud to himself so he doesn't say it to Lewis in a fit of anger that's bubbling under his skin, because Lewis is right. Seb loves him and hates him for it equally.

Lewis is one of Sebastian's best friends on the grid, and the one who understands him the best in some ways. It wasn't always like that, but after 2016, many things have changed. Nico left, and Seb didn't think about that anymore, like he didn't think about many things anymore. In another life, where they weren't racing drivers and each others biggest competition for a whole decade, and where they met at a later point in life, and where there was no Nico and no Mark to shape them into who they were when the time was right, Seb would've been in love with Lewis, and vice versa. Maybe he is a bit in love with him anyways, because honestly, who isn't? Lewis is amazing, and kind, and one of the strongest people Seb knows, and he respects him too much as a person and a competitor, and loves him too much to push for something that just would not work. Not the way they are, and not with their history, and especially not in this world where both Valtteri Bottas and Charles Leclerc exist.

Because no matter how much Seb loves Lewis for pushing him, a part of him is angry, because Lewis is being such a hypocrite right now. He is right about Sebastian, but he is still being a hypocrite, and Seb is too tired and hurting a bit too much to let him get away with it.

To: Lewis

How's Valtteri?

He gets up and refills his coffee as he waits to see what Lewis will say.

From: Lewis

There's the bastard I know

From: Lewis

He's fine. Didn't ask me if i hated him, bcs I'm a normal person who still speaks to his former teammate and friend normally

To: Lewis

So you normally took him up on that normal coffee date?

From: Lewis

Fuck you

To: Lewis

Once wasn't enough for you? :)

Seb couldn't resist reminding Lewis of the one and only time they slept together in 2016 occasionally. It wasn't something either of them dwelled on needlessly, even though it was definitely some of the best sex Seb's ever had. It was fun, and amazing, and heart-breaking, and just an inch shy of too much at the same time, and neither of them ever regretted it. They did both agree the next morning not to repeat it, because the bruises they left on each other were just a bit too painful, and the way they looked at each other as they were fucking was just a bit too raw, and for the whole time their thoughts were just a bit too focused on the men who were their teammates, and they both knew it. Neither of them resented the other for it, and that fundamental understanding that it was just not the right time for them and it never would be may be the reason why they became and stayed such good friends.

From: Lewis

It was at least two times that night, and stop changing the subject :)

To: Lewis

I'm really not. It's the same thing.

From: Lewis

I know

From: Lewis

Man, where did all our bravery go?

To: Lewis

We left it on track sometime in late 2010's :)

From: Lewis

You might be right there

From: Lewis

Fuck we're old

Seb chuckles, because Lewis is both right and wrong. Being on top of the world in your early twenties screwed them both up in some fundamental way, and with both of them being overachievers and determined to win, their perception of the world and their age was impossibly skewered. Seb knows he is going to have to re-evaluate what he wants to do in his life again really soon, but that was a conversation for another time, and to be made in person. Another text from Lewis pulls him out of his thoughts.

From: Lewis

What will you do now?

Seb sighs for god-knows which time and scratches his beard. He should shave soon; he has that video-conference with Aston Martin on Wednesday, and he should look less like a hobo and more like a professional who has his life together. I should look less like a lovesick fool, he thinks and then rolls his eyes at his own propensity for dramatics.

To: Lewis

I have no idea. You?

Lewis' reply makes Seb bark out a laugh.

From: Lewis

Get a bloody muffin. Feelings are exhausting

To: Lewis

Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't talk about them then :)

Lewis doesn't reply, and Seb takes that as a sign that his friend is as tired as he is of the emotional turmoil they've both been going through. It's probably for the best. Seb needs to sleep some more, his body rebelling against even the little exertion he's had today.

He puts his phone on the table and lays on the couch. Maybe the universe will be merciful to him today, and he won't dream of heart-breaking eyes and French-accented voice speaking to him in terrible German.

#f1 rpf #trick or treat asks #effervescendragonwrites #imma tag this #sebchal #valewis #but also sewis #bcs its two of them here #naila 💜#redredred reference

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t-w-i-l-l-e-r · 1 year

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ok so this is probably the only non-reblog tumblr post i’ll ever make in the entirety of my natural life but if the world goes on w/o knowing anything about mirai komachi I will BURST.

Mirai Komachi is this vocaloid (see below) made for the VOCALOID4 engine by Bandai Namco Studios, a Japanese video game development company that is a subsidiary of Bandai Namco Entertainment which ITSELF is a subsidiary of Bandai Namco Holdings ANYWAY

from what i can gather she was kind of an accident? the vocaloid wiki describes her as an “experimental female vocal not originally meant for commercial release” which to me implies “accident”. either way they made this vocaloid n then just. released her. No announcement, no advertising, nothing. “come get y’all orange juice”, Bandai Namco said. And, unsurprisingly, very few people did. mirai komachi is a relatively obscure vocaloid, even (from what i can tell PLZ correct me if i’m wrong) in the jp community and ESPECIALLY in the english community. Minnemi’s “Every VOCALOID Described In One Word” video give mirai komachi the word “who?”. She’s not even mentioned on her parent company’s wikipedia page. only the most completionist of the completionist vocaloid nerds (me) even rly know of her existence, much less her lore.

yeah thats right her lore. this girlie has lore!!! her origin is that this doctor guy named Hakase (yeah they have names n everything) was doing some kind of experiment that got fucked up so explosion BOOM mirai komachi appears (BTW "mirai komachi” is her name. Like, the whole thing. komachi is written in kanji while mirai is written in katakana which implies mirai is the given name and it’s just written in the western order but her website refers to her explicitly as Mirai Komachi and in an email Bandai Namco stated that mirai is neither her given or family name. Technically in most official english source material they refer to her as MiraiKomachi. weird). after she appeared in the explosion she became a researcher at Bandai Namco studios women in stem girlboss. anyway Hakase n these little robots he made r considered her sidekicks n they have a whole lil comic series of their misadventures that I CANNOT find any english translations of and it kills me.

but either way my point is considering her lack of popularity its kind of wild how much content there is of her???? she has a youtube page w/ a bunch of original songs, almost all of which have official english subtitles and are on spotify (which is pretty rare for lesser known vocaloids n if they r there they r certainly hard 2 find). the official MiraiKomachi website is super well made and has a bunch of illustrations, an official mirai komachi 3d model, and the comics i mentioned earlier. she’s been on a bunch of japanese public transport stuff (which isnt that uncommon 4 jp vocaloids) n has this absurd but cute video collaboration with Jammu like. shes there!! shes got stuff!!!

(this whole post is rly just a manifestation of the fact that vocaloid is a very international multilingual community n the nature of very international multilingual communities is every once in a while u will stumble across an aspect of this community that u r theoretically “part of” that is completely in a language that u dont speak or in a physical location that u cannot access n ur just like “huh. there are entire aspects of this thing i care about that i will never fully understand and subcommunities that i will rarely ever interact with even if i spend actual years obsessing over that thing.” this has been existential fandom hour brought to you by staring too long at the vocaloid wikis)

uhhh anyway tl;dr mirai komachi is cute n i wish i could read japanese

#vocaloid #mirai komachi #mirai komachi vocaloid #im no longer down the rabbit hole #the rabbit hole is down me #its in my intestines kicking and screaming #(about vocaloid)#JP AND EN SPEAKING VOCALOID FANS PLZ TRANSLATE MIRAI KOMACHI COMICS #I BEG OF YOU #the music videos on the yt channel r so cute they deserve recognition!!!#i'm doing the work of the capitalists by promoting a character explicitly made to advertise a video game company but...#listen shes CUTE its not my fault #i stayed up kinda late n then woke up n found this in my drafts did i even write this???? no memory

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psychiatricwarfare · 3 months

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the mental strain of having a best friend who disappears for months to years at a time with occasional check-ins that become months of radio-silence is getting to us i think. rly wish she was around more so we could actually talk to each other so we dont have to stalk her tiktok to make sure shes alive. we've been best friends for 8 years but for the past 4 or 5 shes been growing more and more distant & like... its actually kind of driving us insane. ik we'll always be best friends but like- we never know whats going on in her life anymore & vice versa. its just so bizarre & upsetting bc we just wanna tell her everything thats going on all the time and shes just impossible to get in touch with outside of showing up at her house & hoping shes home.

she never uses tumblr anymore & shes been shadowbanned on here for years anyway. we have her number but she never answers. all we can do is stalk her tiktok & interact with the videos she reposts on there.

i get so furiously angry when people tell me about their best friends bc its Not Fair that we never get to see her & its Not Fair that shes the only one who understands us perfectly & its Not Fair that everyone else gets to brag about their best friends all the time. and like yea we have other friends but its not the same. they dont understand us the way she does & they wont bc shes the only friend we feel 100% safe and comfortable around. she's genuinely family to us and its literally fucking heartbreaking that we barely talk

bes fren on the very rare chance that u see this.. i miss u & i wont be able 2 see u for a while but i need to see u asap. i rly fucking hate going thru life w/o my bes fren

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climaxbattles · 4 months

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vent dont read (unless the curiousity consumes you i guess. if you know me personally it might suck)

i havent been able to leave the house since may and it seems like every day i get worse and worse

i just cant deal with anything i dont know why

i dont go outside, i cant be alone, i cant even eat too fast/slow or i just like completely freak out

i started therapy and this is the first time ive ever been hopeful about interacting with a therapist but i still kind of dread it every week. im not even sure its helping like maybe shorter sessions would be better but i use so much energy just getting through the day i cant communicate until its too late

i dont even understand what made this happen my only guess is that one of the medications i tried really messed me up (or i have a brain tumor or thyroid problem or something) because a few of them had really really terrible side effects and i almost had to go back to the hospital for the 3rd time in a year, but i dont get why im not getting better when i dont do anything and im not on those meds anymore.

and if it is physical i cant leave the house without panicking like. i dont know how else i would go anywhere to get it checked out unless it got so bad i had to call an ambulance again so they could lie me down and give me oxygen and turn all the lights off and hold my hand again but that also was like very traumatic so im afraid i would just completely break

my friend is over visiting and i havent seen her in forever bc she moved 4 hours away and i cant even bring myself to hang out with her because she brought her boyfriend and i already have problems talking to anyone but her even though i fucking live with her family and leech off them. so im just hiding in my room

i dont really talk to anyone much anymore and i dont even know if its Because i want to be left alone or if its something making me lonely/im upset about. it also kind of seems like people r moving on from me but that could be like entirely self inflicted bc one on one conversation terrified me even before and now i like have panic attacks if a breathe wrong let alone attempt something thats always scared me

i think like some of them maybe also have a seperate discord server i wasnt invited to. this happened literally months ago where i accidentally found out and its not really my business i guess. and i dont even rly know if its true or even used anymore

it just feels bad because i lost a friend of like 7 years and a friend i really related to but didnt know long because i took their side in multiple arguments and i dont regret the 2nd one but the first one kind of still sucks. the people i lost had a lot of their own problems that made them unpleasant but idk. the first person was kind of always open to talking to me even though we r both fucked up and wouldnt ignore me even when i sometimes would bc of my own problems

and then if there Is a second server thats kind of why the second person lost their shit. so its like Maybe they were right in a small way (they were completely fucked though they would like suicidebait randomly and ive never had any other friend do that so its still for the best i think)

it seems like i keep losing or pushing away good friends kind of. or maybe im bad at all friends idk. ive never enjoyed socializing so it seems like my fault probably

i honestly just wish i could get on food stamps and/or disability on top of medicaid but i think people are still insisting i can go back to the way i was before. idk if thats possible. i just want to be able to stop taking As much Directly from other people and maybe like. buy legos or a 3d printer or something. i dont have much to do in the house 24/7 and my computer is getting old. and i think the internet is making this all worse but thats like my only activity

im so tired

#sorry if u know me and think this might be about you #not trying to like vaguepost abt them though i just dont even know if its worth bringing up. and i cant even rly communicate #i forget if my irl friend has a tumblr #its not your fault i feel like this though if anyone does read this #i just feel like i keep saying the same things in vents to friends and i want to stop bothering tgem

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bagofspoons · 1 year

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POST SESSION 1 DLDND CHARACTER THOUGHTS

holy SHIT y’all the hiatus is over w a long ass session to start us off. i passed out so hard post session but now. i have things to say abt peoples characters and im going to say them. plus an added pronoun check for my own memory. this is a long post so ill pop it all under da cut. tldr at the end 2

IZZY | ALASTRELLE (they/he)

i LIKE THEM. i like them. i was very eyes emoji at their intro and im rly excited to see a druid. i have a feelin that theres a lot more 2 alastrelle than meets the eye but im not rly sure what. we got an insight check that he seems to know more than hes letting on... but like. idk. i have a feelin that theyre more like... they know stuff but not in a malicious way? mayb im bein 2 optimistic and alastrelle is just waiting 2 absolutely decimate every1. they DID heal ma’el tho so like... i think they do not want this. they seem kind. i want 2 know more.

CADILLAC | R-D 2.04 (pronouns unknown - seems to vary)

everybody is so mean 2 me image. r-d is rly. look. i love them but i also hate them. he’s so fuckin funny but also.... gestures broadly at the last hour of the session. she seems 2 b tha only character built 4 outright combat. at least from what weve seen. it seems like a lot of the others went 4 classes that cld offer support (from my limited knowledge of the classes themselves plus dnd) whereas cadillac built (literally) a beast. she seems really cool and had some rly amazing moments first session. designated antagonist im super interested to see how every1 is going 2 interact w the person who drew 1st blood!! also tha character we got the most backstory 4 session 1. kinda dont blame it for the murders but. i dont want any pcs to die T_T

NOX | DOCTOR (PALL’OR) REMAEDI (he/him, okay with they)

HE’S COOL... the outfit is very wizardly but we know hes a cleric. am i right when i look at the ref art and see that hes purple. he is purple. he also shotgunned an unmentioned vial (WHY DID NO 1 ASK ABOUT THAT AUAUEUEGEUGH) and the rice and meat. chuggin ig. seems like... cautious? mayb suspicious but remarkably chill. well. i say chill. again. gestures at the last hour or so of the session. LUV the weapon design. would luv 2 see it do some more damage (see “r-d is built for combat” above. terrifyink). i want 2 know more abt his eyepatch and stitches and general deal. do we think hes an unethical doctor guys. would he kill u for like. fun.

CERIN | EIWN (she/her)

pretty lady. fllushed emoji. i love her design a lot its rly cool. i assumed she was druid bc of it but idk if pep would have allowed class double ups? plus cerin is bein v secretive... possibly monk? eye dee kay im rly just guessin at this point. shes so funny 2 the bit w the shelter being her height and alastrelle tryin 2 fix it secretly was great. i dont have much 2 say abt her yet but i think she will turn out to b EXTREMELY interesting. i kno 4 a fact cerin will say smth and then the dash will explode w how much we love eiwn.

RIVER | MA’EL(VAR) (he/him)

IS HE NORMAL??? squints. i dunno... intro was. suspicious. i did like him tryin 2 explain stuff to r-d that was kinda funny. he seems to b like... relatively level headed? i struggled to get a read on his personality except like... suspicious of others but wants 2 cooperate. clearly doesnt want 2 b here el oh el. HE DID ALMOST DIE 2 TIMES WITH NO IDEA WHAT WAS HAPPENING EL EM AY OH. i wonder how hes gonna react to that.

PEP | MIYM (she/her, okay with they)

MIYM MY FUCKIN BELOVED. kenku AND a bard? plus card themed LDFKJ. alto WISHES he could. the resume made me laugh sm and she generally just seems so nice... i like that she’s immediately forming more positive relationships w tha others... probably intentional on pep’s part as a filler character for the pair offs. i was wondering why they were getting such an outright dmpc and was wondering if she was gonna get killed early... i was real newvous. its cool tho. i like her a lot. very glad miym explained the whole premise 2. thank u from da audience i was a little like WHAT THE HELL. but in a good way

TL;DR - I LIKE THEM ALL. i think theres a LOT of things we havent touched (obvs. it was 1 session) but a lot of seeds and references to things wer made i think. also it looks like we got a lot of elves lol. im generally just rly excited 2 see them play again and having consensual and established pvp will make things VERY interesting. i wonder what the symbols on the like... bracelets/necklaces are 4. and what happens when someone dies.... do they both go to zero/make death saves? i guess we will see....

#dldnd #dldnd spoilers #i saw some1 on the dash mention this was named after a minecraft series? DJKLF #i immediately just assumed soulmate au #this is so fun i look forward 2 more

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dakbees · 2 years

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i meant to reply days ago on my post and only got reminded cuz your video BUT yes I was at the chicago concert!!! I also saw people saying it was dead and I was like huh what concert are you at it's almost Too loud.. also your video of d1 <3 he deserves the world he's so sweet. I read thru some of your poets, you gave the key rings at the fansign? How'd that go? also did you do any snapshots? rly I just want to hear someone else also gush/rant happily about their time hehe

its under the read more bc this just turned into word vomit bc i miss and love them so fucking much

I WANTED TO DO SNAPSHOTS SO BAD but i alread spent over 300 on the trip (tickets themselves + hotel room + gas to get there) so i couldnt buy them BUT when i gave them all the keyrings they were sooooo sweet about it and looked so surprised that i was giving them something that wasnt a letter ToT

changmin said it was pretty and dongil said that the picture i used was cute (one side was them after they debuted and the other were the pics of them when they were kids that they posted for childrens day). my hands were shaking A Lot and almost every member held my hand when i gave them the keychains telling me i shouldnt be nervous. they looked genuinely worried and i dont blame them bc i felt like i was gonna pass out (and i started crying afterword afshbkdj) and i think they recognized me when i went back back up to do the high five + group photo bc changmin asked me if i was okay now TT (tho to be fair having bright purple hair + giving them a gift + on the verge of tears/passing out + being one of the only ppl to talk to them in korean might have contributed to that...)

also maknae line were sosososo sweet and cute. i told junseo that hes really pretty and he looked so surprised and asked 'really?' and all i could do was say yes bc the staff were starting to get upset that i was taking .5 seconds longer than i should have (even tho DKB were the ones holding my hands what did they want me to do snatch my hand away? afjshk). yuku had the brightest smile and harry june asked if i was nervous and when i told him yes he looked so worried and said 'dont be nervous!'

when we did the group photo all in was playing and me and the girl next to me started dancing and singing along before the photo and heechan turned around in surprise as if us knowing the song was a shock afhsbk but he looked so happy so see us vibing with the song and he started dancing in his seat too it was cute

also like. i dont know how to describe it but they are soooo attractive in person. photos dont do any of them justice at all. im sure u saw bc u did snapshots with some of them lol but junseo.... god i just want to tell him how handsome he is that he shouldnt listen to those ppl who tell him otherwise and that we will love him no matter what... iirc him and changmin were the only members taller than me but to be 100% honest i was too focused on not bawling my eyes out in front of them to notice much on that front lol (but i do remember yuku and lune being so tiny and cute and all of their hands were smaller than mine ashkj)

i wish i had more time to talk to them to tell them how amazing and talented they are and how proud bbs are of them but the staff were really pushy with trying to get the fansign line moving. i get it, there were a lot of us, but a guy can dream. even though the time was short they really tried their best to comfort me in the time we did have and that meant a lot <3

ALSO slightly off topic but the main reason i was close to passing out was bc of how hot the venue was while waiting for the fansign. i was sweating so bad before during and after the concert so i got some water from the bar (four fucking dollars 😒) and i talked to the bartenders for a bit. according to them, the boys were super nice and sweet and like. ofc as bbs we think that the boys are kind but hearing from someone that has no emotional connection to them and interacts with hundreds of celebrities throughout the year that dkb are sweet boys... it just.. its nice. its nice to see that theyre kind to people who are outside of the fandom bc sadly thats not the norm for every group

#answered #anyhao #haiiiii mairin #this is only like. half of what i could say abt the entire experience #but my brain is mush from thinking about them #head empty only dakeubi thoughts <3 #getting sappy rn #i wish i could relive it

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tiptapricot · 7 months

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Congrats @ 1000 followers!!!!

Question for your event: what's your top 5 fics you've made in the past? I think some people find their older works to be cringe, but I find looking back at what I've made in the past to be endearing. Like,, look how far you've come or maybe it's interesting to see what trends carry out through out all your works

Ty duder!! :-D

Hmbbb that’s a hard question. I do like rereading my old works, but there’s definitely a level of improvement I’ve gained that means I nitpick old stuff or don’t like my voice or pacing as much as I used to. Which happens with anything really but means sometimes I can’t enjoy the full piece. I also haven’t reread a lot of my old works recently so my vibes on how I feel about them are outdated.

If we’re talking about works older than a year, here a few I rmr still having a fondness for. They aren’t in any particular order though and I feel good gennnnerally about most of my stuff, but esp haven’t reread a lot of DC ones in awhile:

The in betweens (Bill n Ted) I rmr trying to do no scene breaks for this one, kind of like a lineless style but for writing, and I think I did that well in the end! Also always a sucker for domesticity and it feels very alive and dynamic and content in itself which is really nice

Contact (Lost Boys 1987) It’s a good short piece and while it feels kind of OOC for how I’d handle TLB these days, I think the intimacy and the inclusion of everyone in such a short word count is p well done and I like the texture of it a lot

Grounding Rod (Legion of Supes 2006) Iirc I have more issues with the prose of this one than most others, but the ideas I got out within it and the fact that it’s currently my only Legion fic endear it to me and I’d be interested to do More with some of what I outlined here

I’ll be there for you (Batman Beyond) THISSS was I think my first fic even close to this kind of length and I rmr it was written when I still had full on fic requests open in my inbox. It was meant to be so much shorter but it grew and it’s also like? Genuinely still pretty solid to me? Was a banger way to hit off my beyond phase and was one of the first times I’d done kind of a drawn out plot

Asynchronous (Bill n Ted) My very first Bill and Ted fic, and while it was still in an era of my writing I don’t like as muchhhh with like… kind of overly physical angsty or injury focused scenarios, I think it’s still pretty solid. It explores an alternate idea of what could happen in bogus journey and of if a do not separate set was separated, and even though it’s kind of gross and bleak being Bill and Ted adds a humor to it I think really works and also made me snicker a bit while reading

When it comes to trends I definitely know I use similar descriptions a lot esp when it comes to emotions and breakdowns as I was often pulling off my own experience. In my earlier writing especially my DC stuff like I mentioned above I was also very into harder angst? I’m not as into gore or injury for the sake of it anymore but a lot of my works starting out were very Sad for Sad sake and while they def still explored characters I’m glad I feel I have a wider range of focus now?

I do feel that, looking back, I’ve lost a level of natural-ness to a lot of my stuff. My older works feel looser and less stiff, and I’ve recently found myself in a place of having a difficult time writing regular interaction scenes. I dont know if I’m burnt out or if I’m just overly critical now, but I do wish I had some of that more pliant quality some of my older stuff has. I miss it!

That’s an interesting piece of looking back though and also why I have a no delete policy nowadays on stuff. Seeing where I’ve been and what’s changed and stayed the same is rly fascinating to me :-)

Ty for the Q! (And I’ll b trying to answer the others I’ve gotten from some diff peeps as well!)

1000 follower celebration

#1000 tip fruits #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is answering again

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brightjin · 3 years

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unfortunately sleeping did not reset my brain and im still feeling shitty and dysphoric

#personal stuff #it just feels like i cant win and its rly frustrating #been feeling isolated and alone so i play wow w simon and the guild #feel too stressed to speak bc i will get misgendered or have to explain the trans situation and maybe get shit for it #so i keep my mic muted the whole time to avoid that #but now i feel insanely isolayed bc i cant reply to things or participate in banter #so its just like im there and even more alone than before #especially when i dont know the game and cant articulate or ask questions due to not being in vc #and just realising that its going to be this way for several more years. i fucking hate it here #i rly dont know what to do i just wish i could interact with people withour feeling this massive barrier #like im already autistic i dont need more social barriers

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doebt · 5 years

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im not even kidding like how could this happen to me.. i spent my entire 12 yrs of school trying so hard to make friends, trying to connect w people, and now it’s over and i have not one meaningful friendship to show for it.. like what happenedddd

#i tried so much harder than most ppl #but not so much that i come off like some trying too hard weirdo i dont think #and its just for nothing. its just nothing #and none of these ppl will remember me fondly or at all #its just whatever and im so depressed about it. like what am i supposed to do now #its not like ill go back in august and reconnect with everyone. its over #i had meaningful friendships but they are basically over now bc no one is interested in maintaining them besides me #and it feels horrible and gross to be the only one invested in others when they just dont care #it is honestly the worst like i feel.. the worst #it hurts my heart so much i just dont know what i did wrong. i thought i did really good #i thought it would pay off like i rly thought it would #and i want to say i expect nothing when i pour myself into a friendship but i at least expect the friendship returned.. at least that #i at least expect some small little relationship back #god. wow #i rly wish i knew where i went wrong #i would do it over a thousand times if it meant i could do better and come out better than this #i cant even express how bad i feel. and it wont change bc its over.. im out of second chances #and i just cant maintain internet friendships rn. i just cant bc im so depressed and i cant force myself to interact w people i dont see irl #i just dont know what to do. how do you make friends when youre like this. you just dont #i just have to live like this for months until i start university and someone hopefully maybe is nice to me #but even that is a long shot. its so unlikely... it took me years to make friends in highschool and i couldnt even keep those #and i try so hard #goddd

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taeghi · 2 years

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i genuinely get you tbh. i feel like the engene community is either filled with people who oversexualise the members or hate the idea of anyone thinking any enhypen member is hot or attractive. it makes it hard for enha writers to write and also puts a lot of pressure on then to make sure their content is being accepted with the general readers (if that made any sense)

what im saying is that i wouldn't want to surround myself in such a toxic environment either and i understand why you would rather forget about ever making that post. (not to mention engenes in general are toxic when it comes to any problem related to the members) and i myself am guilty of your case. like i'm a writer too but don't even feel like writing for enha anymore purely bc of the interactions ive had with some engenes (idk if this is also a contribute to your sudden halt in writing)

i just wanted to tell you that its totally okay to feel this way and id even say that if it makes you more happier, to just forget about the whole series if it really stresses you out that much. (i can't even imagine how bad you must feel about yourself knowing people are you hating on you bc of this.) at the end of the day, you dont owe the readers anything, in fact you're the one spending your free time on them when you could be doing other things. so if you know yourself it would be the best decision id encourage and support you and if you dont want to thats okay too !!

(wrote this just bc i know how it feels to lose motivation for writing on a group you adored once bc of the fandom) LOTS OF LOVE AND TAKE CARE ALRIGHT !!!!

thank you for reaching out to me. im kinda glad (?) that someone else has also experienced the same things as me kind of. you’ve rly made me feel a bit better about this whole situation :) so thank u again. i’m still deciding on what to do. i might even just turn off my asks bc that seems to be where i get most of the “hate” besides tiktok comments :/

anyways thank u again, and i wish u all the best and to stay safe and healthy and i hope u continue to write whether it’s ab enhypen or any other kpop group or ab any other subject or genre :D ❤️

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pigstepmp3-moved · 3 years

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holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡ JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

#hehe idk how to tag this #ive spent SO long on this post im so glad its done #follow forever #eden.txt

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katedoesntexist · 2 years

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Personal thoughts and venting abt fandom below. Feel free to skip.

I feel like im wishing for something, wanting some sort of interaction but i dont rly know what. Its not wanting attention per se, bc ive honestly been low on available energy for others, so ive nothing to give back. But i feel something is lacking.

As you may know, I forayed into a fandom new to me. but due to some circumstances of the current incarnation of the media itself, i worry its mostly inhabited by young people, and i already see the edges of drama. So that kind of sucks. But idk ill just keep inhabiting my little corner of the internet over there and see how it goes.

I do sort of wish i felt more comfortable with being in a fandom in general, but idk my brains making it be A Thing. The pacrim fandom experience was wonderful and the people were/are lovely. But its also the only fandom that has destroyed my self esteem/confidence in creating content. And its not a fair assessment bc a handful of people have been incredibly supportive, and i dont want to discount that. But the damage is done and if i ever post anything pacrim again (unlikely), and the response is poor to none, it will do even more damage. And i know ive talked about this before, but it was SO crushing and invalidating to be told "you know, you can make stuff for yourself right?" So i stopped trying in order to protect what little creativity i had left. Its what pushed me to stop being active in the fandom altogether.

Its no surprise. I tend to pack my bags when things go south. I've left whole platforms, even industries bc of feeling invalidated. Now this is something i for sure know ive mentioned before, but i participate in fandoms to connect w people and have fun. I create to share a piece of myself. No its not abt notes or kudos. Its abt the fact that i put myself out there, and the response was essentially radio silence. Crickets. Thats the void telling me "no thanks. We dont want that piece of you."

Anyway, new fandom, which i guess is technically number four if we're talking the ones i was active in, is prob not going to go anywhere. Its not huge but its got a lot of weird ins and outs. I dont think anyone will befriend me or even interact. I rly wish tumblr encouraged conversation better. Its the one thing i miss abt twitter. So the gameplan is to just sort of be there and be present, and if someone takes notice of me and reaponds, then great. And if not, im not getting my hopes up, so it wont be a let down to go unnoticed. Its kind of freeing to start fresh where nobody knows you and you don't have any expectations of how it will go. But gosh thats all meta, and I just really wish i could be a fan and have fun and get excited w other fans.

Thats what it is. Thats what im missing. I miss having fun about the thing im interested in. What a shame.

#katedoesntgetpersonal #delete later #had to write this all out to do some self therapy and get to the bottom of why I feel down #im open to responses ot convo on this but i am not looking for advice #trust me #i know myself when it comes to these things #anyway the whole thing comes down to the fact that i feel alone bc in most ways i am and always have been #what is it like to have friends that share your interests? must be nice

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stanharu · 3 years

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beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

#beastars #beastext #legosi #legoshi #louis

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yioh · 3 years

Text

2020 follow forever :^)

hello it is, but i, ur local frog, yura, i really realllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy wanted to make some kind of post to appreciate everyone on here because , fr, you guys have been such a large part of my life recently and i can not thank you enough... every single person i have interacted with on here has been so wonderful and it’s been such a pleasure to talk with you guys<3

also extremely extremely extremely sorry if i forget anyone, i really really do love every single person i interact with!! this is my first time doing something like this also this is probably filled with typos but im too impatient and lazy to read what i wrote, im so sorry if its weird or something aaaaaaaaaaaa jhdsgjhd

without further ado lets goooooo losers😎

@honeyedmilks sof u are one of the softest people i know, we didn’t get to talk that much this year but i love ur presence in general and it makes me :D when u pop up on my dash/notes hehe, i can’t express just how much i adore ur writing, the vibes and settings and the way u write in general is so my thing and !!!!!!!! <3

@asianmelodrama faizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa u are mine and a lot of other people’s sunshine on this hellsite !!!! ur blog is so feel good and pretty and relaxing and i love all ur thoughts and ur gifs are soooooooooo pretty and ur so cool !!!!!!!! thank u for being so kind and creative and wonderful and for creating a place so safe and lovely i love u i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

@muscosus robin robin robin robin ILUSM !!!!!!! ur so fun to talk to and i find it so amusing that we met each other via druck but then consequently found all our interests colliding and we were literally *shook pikachu* kdhigjdghkjf also whenever u tag me in whale stuff it warms my heart so much and i treasure our friendship so so much !!!

@lesbiangoths OLIVIA why are u so adorable :( everytime u send me an ask im :) ur so creative and talented and ur crocheting stuff looks so COOL !!!!! also ur vibe is just immaculate in general and talking with u is so easy, never change ilu bro

@illiterateopossum ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur DEFINATELY one of the people on here that are MOST special to me, all our conversations are so freaking fun and man, u just get me .... and watching u get into all the dramas and anime i reccomend ??? it makes my heart doki doki hiagsjhjh thank u for always looking out for me and sending me the most loveliest messages, im really really bad with words and i am SHITE with keeping up with messaging but i seriously treasure our friendship so so much, i only hope for good things to happen to you next year and all the years after that, you’re such a kind wonderful person and !!!!!!!!!!!! i love u sm :(

@beesnutz KJDFKHIJFHKD GUSTE i wanna be emotional this one time and tell u that ur seriously such a fun person and the way my brain goes on overdrive from creativity when i talk to you is . insane. i want to bonk ur head with as much cereal as i can, never forget that you will always be the dumb sidekick to me, the superior villain and i WILL lead the way to world domination one day. sometimes i feel like u aren’t even real, you could be an anime character and i wouldn’t even bat an eyelash . ilu <3

@rosa-leche kana kana KANA :^) how are u so ???? sweet ???? adorable ???? wonderful ????? i already had so much fun interacting with you, all ur thoughts and messages are always so sweet and u make me smile SO much, and after the secret santa i feel like we have so much in common !!!!!!!!! do tell me if u ever watch bloom into you hehe, keep being the angel u are, ilusm !

@petekaos RAHUL !!!!!!!!!!!!! meeting u this summer feels like so long ago somehow, you sir!!! are one TALENTED person . it really really amazes me with how much passion you get into things and how much love and adoration you put into the things you create, its so so special .... anytime i see u vibing on my dash it fills me with so much joy, keep doing u bro !!!!

@toptaps zeeeeeeeeeeey you are so lovely :) you’re so gentle and soft and i adore talking with u about nanamin, also u are so cool and i was rly rly happy when u followed me lol, lowkey i admired u from afar jdhjkhdijd i love uuuuuuu

@fushiguroo MY LIL OREO CUTIE PATOOTIE oFC i still remember the first ask u sent me, i was so taken aback and honoured :( and the more and more i talked with you and saw you on my dash i was so happy, you have such good taste and you’re so so cute, take care of urself and stay the precious bean u are ok?

@morksuns sumaya sumaya sumayaaaaaaaaaaaa everytime you interact with me im :D i love all our little convos and ur vibe in general is so peaceful and relaxing, im glad i got to meet you:’) here’s to another year and many more after that, that are filled with only good dramas !!!

@gayvlad NICO (nico niiiiiiiiiiiiii ) YOU DESERVE THE W O R L D. i dont know why but as soon as i had like one convo with u that one time i thought u were such a chill cool person :( im so happy that i get to be friends with you, all ur gifs are so pretty !!!!!!!! ur such a kind person and ur blog is such a warm nice place to be. :)

@cupidhashorns peach ........... PEACH !!!!!!!!!! you might be one of the nicest people in the WORLD , whenever u like my posts, regardless of whether u know what im on about lmao, i feel so seen... its just so nice to know that Someone i listening to the shit you throw into the void on this site lmao, i adore all ur asks and i truly truly appreicate all your messages so much. thank you for finding my blog interesting at all man, i cant tell you enough how happy you make me :)

@guihan arloooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY CAT FRIEND . THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN YOU HAVE GIVEN ME IS IMMEASURABLE your cats ................... are so cute .............. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad i got into tsomd and got to meet you , whenever u tag me in things im !!!!!!!!! also im defo gonna read twwtadsl sometime ksdjkdhjksd you make it sound so good aaaaaaaaaaaaa

@otterplush rey many people have probably already told you this but you are someone so ...... so spectacular and special and incredible and amazing ............ so much of your words has given me SO MUCH comfort in the short time i had known you, seriously. i seem to always stumble on your blog whenever im most hurt and your words have really had an impact on me in the best way possible and i love u so so so so much. i only wish for good things to happen for you and i want to be there for you in a way you are for everyone else !!! you are so warm and kind an generous, everything about your vibe feels so soft... also i always wanna rb everything you rb ndjbshs ur blog is so pretty :(

@aheartandashirt nisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA MY KSH THIRST BUDDY KDHJKHDKJHDF fr ive had some of the BEST convos with you, ur taste in dramas is !!!!!!!!!!immaculate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its so so so fun talking with you and everything you gif looks so nice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for being such a lovely friend to me, you’re so easy to talk with and so friendly and nice and <3 *pat pat pat*

@tetsuos dawn dawn !!!! you are !!!!!!!!!! such a talented person !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love ur little corner on the web, its so nice to read all ur thoughts about the dramas you’re watching, all your thoughts are so well thought out and interesting to read and, in general, i adore seeing you do ur thing :) *hug hug *

@heartsofsunlight angel ! your drawings are so beautiful !! you are such a beautiful person in general ! whenever u drop by it makes me so happy, its been so lovely getting to know you, thank you so much for talking to me :) i love uuuuuuu

@metawin jay jay jay !!!!!!!!!!!! for some reason whenever i see u im overcome with so much love !!! everything you make is so beautiful and u are defo one of the most elite people here hehe, also ur cats are ........ so adorable ............

@metawwin aliiiiiiiiiiiii, its been such a pleasure seeing you on here !! ur so soooooo kind and whenever u sent me those adorable asks it made me so happy, you’re like a little happiness fairy, you eminate so much joy and positivity !! also ur singing ... immaculate

@87s min min !!!! u are soooooooooooo adorable, i think ive said this before but u seriously give me little sibling vibes lol, its so fun talking to you, and im so happy that you first popped up to me !!!!!!!!!!! iluuuuuuuu

@joblessquinoa JQ :^) i always associate you with my engineer haha, and that was so long ago !!!!! ur so fun to talk to, and i adore seeing u rb and leave ur thoughts on all the manga and webtoons im reading !!!! in fact whenever u like my posts i aways feel so happy hehe, also . i literally wouldve failed my coding course without u thank u SO much for helping me out * cries*

@gigiesarocha cata CATA CATA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when you first popped up i was so elated to talk to you, u seemed so nice:( and later when u told me u watched joan’s galaxy because of me i was sdhfsgijdfhjkdhjkfh all ur gifs are so unbelieveably gorgeous, i literally go back to the set u made of yioh staring at joan skipping all the time, its so ........ beautiful.......... hopefully we get more wlw content next year and hopefully theyre all as good as joan’s galaxy hehe, iluuuuuuuuuu

@yibobibo aamna my love !!!!!!! how are you so precious ? everytime u reblog any of my posts its an instant serotonin boost, the experience of getting back into mdzs along with u was seriously incomparable, it was so FUN and i wanna go back :( ur such a friendly wonderful and talented person and i adore seeing all ur creativity blossom on this website, ilu aamna !

@brightwin JELLY jelly u are literally the human embodiment of the softest teddy bear in the WORLD . i wanna give u all the hugs and pats i can because u make me so !!!!!!!!! happy and u fill me with so much soft warmth ........... thank u for being u, all ur gifs are so pretty and its been so nice to be able to bask in the light that comes off of u, never change i love u so sooooooooooo much <3

and lastly, some blogs that i really really adore !

@kurusutakatsu @chanagun @yuhaosturtle @jiangyanlisgf @duoerla @yinyu @tichawongtipkanon @jbums @wenqing @lemongrasslesbian @weiixian @schech @kikuism @earthfluuke @0ffgun @yamaguccchi @wullu @seniorwitch @leoyunxi @floraflorenzi @dreamterlude @florbexter @doctorbahnjit

#wow i was so sappy ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ihdsajhkjsdhjkd #2020 follow forever

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saetoru · 2 years

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hi tee! just wanted to come here really quick and say thank you for always being so kind to me! i've been interacting with you on anon for some time now, and i thought i'd drop by and share a fun little story. a few months ago, i broke up with my fiance, and you answered my ask when i sent one and said something along the lines of "if i could marry you right now i would in a heartbeat. i'm so jealous of whoever does" and at the time it made me break down a bit (in joy haha), but now, 6 months later, i'm moving states to start the job i decided not to pursue to stay close to my ex fiance, and it was somewhat thanks to you! it was a small line on your end, lighthearted and quite honestly just a joke, but it made me realize a stranger on the internet saw some positive in me, and i should too. it really made me want to pursue myself and put myself first, and your words were kind of a kickstart for that, so thank you! and i love your little presence on this corner of the internet, i wish you all the best <3

i am literally weeping.

like if i could upload my tears to you all i would. genuinely this made me cry w.t.f. omg.

hi hello bestie i would absolutely JOUST your ex fiance for your hand in marriage and i would win and then i would behead him after. he doesnt deserve you.

no but in all realness, i cant believe my stupid self rambling something would make you think i had any impact in your growth thats so wild to me that youd think i had part in it like wow. i cant believe something i said meant that much ???? but you know what sometimes in rough patches, the littlest things change a lot, ive been there too, but im shocked i was the little thing BUT im so happy for you im literally wiping snot from my nose and choking on sobs im so proud of you—im not even kidding im actually crying so thanks a lot. kidding its okay crying is good for the eyes. but omg i just wanna say thank you for interacting with me, the interactions on here mean as much to me as they might to some of you it seems, but i adore talking to ppl on here and sometimes its rly crazy to think you get to connect with so many people from so many walks of life wow im like actually losing it.

okay.

absolute best of luck at your new job !! that is SO slay of you, and you are SUPER COOL and anyone would be SO SO SO damn lucky to marry you !! i love you babe i really do i dont know your name and you dont know mine but i love you. there is a real love there okay ?? we are all just people at the end of the day and we all have such complex lives its so nice to be able to come here and talk to some of them and forget about things and im just so emotional goodbye. SOBBING IM UGLY SOBBING

#love letters #no return address #no bc this was so #just #idk the words to put it #i love u #i really do love you #i know sometimes saying ily to someone on the internet just seems like an empty phrase #but there is a special place in my heart for the people i talk to on here and i have real love for all of you #even if we dont know each other personally #i really really love you #im crying wow stfu tee get it together #fuck #okay #im gonna get it together one sec

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