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purplesurveys · 5 years

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381

Where did you get what you wore to bed last night? I decided to stay over at Gabie’s place at the last minute and didn’t bring a change of clothes, so she lent me one of her duster dresses. Do your parents smoke? Nope. Do you know anyone who has a ton of real fur clothes? As far as I know I don’t, and I hope there really is no one. If Britney Spears came to your town, would you go see her concert? It’s a cool prospect, but I wouldn’t go. What about Hedley? See I don’t even have the slightest clue who they/that are/is.

When you're cranky, do you take it out on others? Yep. Have you ever worn a pair of leather (fake or real) pants? No. I’d die from how hot it would be. Are you older then sixteen? Yes. If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? I always talk about how excited I am to get married, but if she asked me at this moment I’d find it freaky and say that it’s too early to do such a thing. What color pen did you last use? Black. Do you know who Craig Owens is? I don’t think so. What was the last message you received about? I was just talking to Gabie about her dad and asking her for reassurance that he likes and approves of me. He’s really nice, but he’s intensely quiet, and as a mass communication major who’s used to being surrounded by talkative people and filling the silence with noise, his quietness unnerved me quite a bit. Side story: The three of us had dinner last night and even though I begged her not to, Gabie went to the washroom, leaving me with her dad for several minutes. Filipino parents would normally break the ice and ask questions, but he immediately went on his phone and DID. NOT. TALK. TO ME. As if I wasn’t there. It wasn’t necessarily rude, it’s just the way he is according to Gab. It was straight out of a movie, I was so uncomfortable–even mortified to an extent–and looked around at other tables for a bit and wondered if we were gonna stay like that for eternity. I put my masscom skills to the table and came up with a topic, which thankfully lasted until he came back. Do you ever suddenly jolt awake when you're almost asleep? It happens sometimes. What shoes do you wear to work out in? I don’t work out. Has a bookshelf or desk, etc, of yours ever randomly collapse? I don’t remember that ever happening. What's the longest you ever stayed at someone else's house? Idk, I never really overstay. The longest has probably been at Angela’s - I’d sometimes stay close to a full 24 hours there. What is your favorite aunt's middle name? I think it’s Josette. What was the subject of the last science fair project you did? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA can we forget fucking investigative projects please omg those made my high school life HELL Do you think making a guy/girl jealous is a good way to get together? It’s certainly petty. I like petty. Is your math teacher married? I haven’t taken a math class since freshman year; but no, I don’t think that prof is married. Name something you used to wear that you thought you looked SO good in, but now when you see it is actually hideous? It’s not hideous, but I had a stiletto phase when I was 13 and would wear 6-inch heels to the fucking mall. It’s so embarrassing to look back on, especially when I realize now that people weren’t staring at me because they were impressed with my heels, they were staring because I looked fucking dumb. Do you miss your last ex? I missed her too much I got back together with her. When you believe in the Easter Bunny, what did you think it looked like? Chandler Bing from that one Halloween episode. What about the tooth fairy? I didn’t really have an image in mind, I just wanted her to give me money. Do you/did you have a religion class in school? I went to a Catholic school, so yes. But the school I go to now prohibits any kind of religious promotion. There are religious orgs and people of any and every religion are allowed to step into the university, but coaxing people to prayer or something of that manner isn’t allowed. Has your best friend ever ditched you for a guy/girl? Never. Do you ever get jealous of your friends? Sometimes, but they’re my friends so it passes. Do you think it's stupid when people online out over little spelling errors? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. Is there someone who calls or texts you every night to say goodnight? Gabie. If your best friend got cancer, would you shave your head with them? I would probably do it for Gabie or Anj. Did you kiss anyone on New Year's this year? No, my girlfriend and I always spend the holidays with our families. Name someone you know who is Buddhist. I’ve heard one of my classmates from high school is a Buddhist, but I never got that confirmed cos I never really cared for her. Has anyone ever purposely made a food of you? What does this even mean? Like a cupcake with my face on it? No. Would you rather work at a fast food restaurant or be a garbage man? Fast food but I’d rather stay inside the kitchen or have a role that won’t require me to be social. I wouldn’t want to deal with pissy old people. What was the subject of the last essay you wrote? Chinese-Filipino relations in the Philippines from the 1970s to the present. Does your mom wear makeup? Yes. Do you kiss your boyfriends/girlfriends in front of your parents? I held Gabie’s hand while we were with her dad last night, but no I don’t kiss her. Have you ever spent Christmas alone? I’m always with my family, but I do feel mentally alone. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? Yes. Do you say attractive, hot, or sexy or something else about guys/girls? Um I mean I say ‘pretty’ a lot. Is there a member of the opposite sex you'd do ANYTHING for? Gabie’s dad tbh. Does your favorite uncle have any children? No. Has anyone ever kissed you when you were so not expecting it? I’m sure it’s happened before. Was it a good surprise kiss? Or bad? Good, cos all my kisses always come from my girlfriend haha. Do you know which has more alcohol: beer or vodka? It’s gotta be vodka, right? Name a Nintendo 64 game. Mario Kart 64. Hahaha, easy way out. Do you use gift bags or wrapping paper? Gift bags, because I’m absolutely hopeless with gift-wrapping. Do you ever day dream about the person you like? She comes up from time to time, yes. Have you ever sat in front of a kicking and crying child on a plane? No thank godddddd. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Hayley Nichole Williams, Zachary Wayne Farro, Taylor Benjamin York. Do you still have any Pokemon cards? Nah, those disappeared like a decade ago. How many cards are in your wallet? I’ve never really gotten to counting them. YouTube, Facebook or Bzoink? I mean I use them all for different reasons. I’d go to YouTube for videos, Facebook for work, and Bzoink to find surveys. Have you ever tried to make something right but it just messed it up more? Do you mean all the time? Has someone ever approached you and offered you drugs? Never. I’d be so shocked and probably get an anxiety attack haha. ^ What did you do? Do you like the picture on your ID? NO. It had been drizzling and I had no umbrella + I was late for Math class ON MY FIRST DAY AS A COLLEGE FRESHMAN so I was so hassled. You can make out my wet hair a bit in the photo. What would you do if your favorite artist came to town but your parents wouldn't let you go? Find a way. Do you type really or rly? Both. I’d type rly if I was lazy, talking to a friend, or if I’m lazy and talking to a friend. Do you say everything in inititals because saying the full thing is too much work? Only with close friends. Have you ever found someone on the Sims to be attractive? No??? What was your first kiss like? Clueless and lots of fumbling around from me. Gab kissed me as though she’s done it a thousand times though. Is there someone you pretend to like but they really piss you off? I remember so many people. What does AP stand for? As a journalism student I understood that as Associated Press. What's something you wish was different? The country I live in. Do you ever say 'I'm rotted?’ Never said that in my life. What's the last color of jeans you saw? I saw? Light blue. Do you know anyone who refuses to swear? Yeah there were a couple of goody two shoes in high school who would absolutely refuse to. Who knows, college might have changed them. Have you ever heard a young child swear? No. Have you ever heard your grandparents swear? My maternal grandfather did, but I’ve never heard the other three do so. Have you heard all your friends swear? DUH hahaha.

#survey #surveys

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shauni-will-never-write · 6 years

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Okay Shauni, since recently you have been talking about Veronica a lot this is a good time to tell you this. Are you for real when you say that you’ve been waiting to kill Veronica since the beginning? Because the strange thing here, isn’t your hate for her (we can hate who we want), it’s the fact you thought the possibility of her death was ever on the table. I don’t know if you noticed, but she is a kid. Not even the Nowi kind of kid, just a literal child. IS can’t even put a kid in a silly dress without provoking a massive sh*tstorm, what do you think will happen if they show the death of a kid on-screen, even letting US kill her? The consequences would be grave, very grave, and for once I would be complaining too. This is a NINTENDO game, this game is played even by young children, and they CANNOT make the “good guys” kill a kid and make players think killing children can be the right thing to do in any situation. Even before we discovered she is being influenced by an evil dragon, even before the game came out, when we didn’t know her personality, it baffles me to think even a single person was expecting the heroes would kill her at the end, like all the previous evil rulers in FE (barring Gangrel I guess). Uhm… she is not like the previous evil rulers, she has the very major difference of being a kid. Imagine if Ashnard and Sanaki were swapped in PoR, with Ashnard being king of an allied nation and Sanaki the psycho Queen of Daein. Do you think Ike would have treated her the same way he treated Ashnard in canon? Heck no, they would have tried a lot harder to find some kind of alternative way of defeating her, and maybe investigate how it was possible that a 10 year old girl ended up becoming so rotten. After everything else failed, Ike would have killed her in the end because she had to die in order to save everyone, but that experience would have scarred him for life. He just killed a little girl even younger than his beloved sister. You don’t get over that kind of trauma. I could see him throw away Ragnell in the ocean and cripple himself in order to never wield a sword again, like his dad did. And anyway a game like that would never be made because you can’t release a game that let’s you kill children, even if it’s rated M. They never made a single underage NPC in GTA for that reason alone, because they are not stupid. I feel a little silly even having to explain this, and I’m sorry if I sound rude, or antagonistic, but this in my eyes is such an obvious truth… but I guess it isn’t as obvious as I thought. And some people are even worried about the Rite of Flame, like Veronica and Ylgr (the one with us is Loki, not Ylgr) may have died… guys they are not dead, they can’t die… children getting murdered in a NINTENDO game is just not possible, and even if it was possible I feel like a lot of people (including me) would quit FEH for good if that happened. I don’t care if it’s a bad guy that kills them, it’s still impossible and wrong on so many levels. Ganondorf is the king of all evil, and even he did not kill Link’s little sister in Wind Waker after capturing her. Why do you think Surtr killed Fjorm’s big sister and mother to show us how EEEEVULLLZZ he is, and not Fjorm’s little sister instead? That is even EVULLLERR but he didn’t do that, he just said he wants to do that. And that is enough to tell us he is a disgusting monster that needs to be killed. The work is done, they don’t need to show Surtr killing children to make us hate him even more, we already hate him enough, and doing that would only alienate the fanbase. I would stop hating Surtr and start hating Intelligent System for ruining the game for the sake of being dark and edgy beyond reason. So for the people worried about Ylgr and Veronica, don’t worry they are 100% safe.

But you scare me sometimes Shauni, I said eveyone is free to hate everyone, but hating is one thing, writing “I can’t wait to see her dead”, “I want to kill her so much, but it’s probably not gonna happen” and many others sentences like that is… I don’t know it just makes me uncomfortable. If you hate her, that’s fine but remember she is a child, so you have to bring your hate on the childish level, not drag her in the scary world of adults. Say you are gonna hide a giant spider somewhere in her bed, tell her nobody will come at her birthday party because she is ugly, and nobody wants to be her friend, call her nasty nicknames, anything, even mean spirited bully harassing stuff is better than “I hope you die”. I don’t know, maybe this is just black humor and I’m being a kill-joy, no-fun allowed kind of guy, and to be honest I would prefer that. It would mean it was all a stupid misunderstanding on my part because I don’t understand dark humor, which is way better than the alternative. If it is black humor, well I can’t tell you what kind of jokes to make, and I will still not like them everytime I read them, but I can tell myself that it’s just a joke atleast. If it’s not a joke and you are being serious… that is unfortunate, but can I ask you to tone it down a bit? As of right now the comments about Veronica’s death are the only contents in your Tumblr that make me sad, instead of happy or amused, and even if I can’t decide things for you, I can atleast voice my opinion. I’m half-worried that one day something really tragic is gonna happen to Veronica (like Xander or Bruno being burned alive to save her) and she starts crying and everything is awful and while I try to hold all of the feels for the next week, I stumble upon a post of you celebrating, and saying she deserved that. I think you can understand how awful I would feel. :( ;_;

by @dangerouseggwolfangel

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Okay, so first of all: thank you for taking the time to type all this ^^

Then, I must admit: it really never occured to me that Veronica was a child. Actually, how old is she? Do we know? Because I always assumed she was like 15, just like Elise... and since Elise was obviously not deathproofed in Birthright (and arguably Anthony in Revelation, even if his possessed nature doomed him from the start), I never thought Veronica had a Ino's veil that protected her from death. So yes, unfortunately, I really was expecting her to die; I never noticed she was, by default, very high on the sorting algorithm of mortality. My overanalyzing tendencies are selective, and most of the time I don't think twice about a character's situation. I literally never stopped to wonder if she really was a teen or rather a child and just automatically assumed she was a teen (and Bruno, her older brother, a young adult).

If it sounds stupid of me to you, then it's probably because it is stupid of me, but that is the truth nonetheless. I'm afraid that is my only excuse. So let's just say I really am stupid, then I can properly apologize for upsetting you with my thoughtless words: I am sorry.

My dislike of Veronica as a character doesn't change, of course, but since my recent replies about her troubled you, I think it's best (for you, for everyone who likes her, for me) that I stop talking about her altogether. When we don't have anything nice to say, it's best to keep quiet, right?

So from now on, I won't answer any asks about Veronica anymore, and everyone's dashboard will be peaceful.

#shauni answer #fire emblem heroes #veronica #dangerouseggwolfangel #wow it's been a while since i've felt that dumb #this will be a good reminder in the future #submission

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clown-bait · 6 years

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Apologies (Monster Roommate AU)

So to continue my holiday mini fics for the AU heres the next one in the series! Pennywise gets in trouble and gets the silent treatment. He doesn't handle it well. On a side note I had a BLAST writing this especially the second part and Leech’s temper tantrum at work. I’ve been wanting to show her at the bar for some time now and get more of the Sawyer brothers in there! Also Penny making missing posters with sad faces drawn all over them in an attempt to be an adorable little shit.

Pennywise Sucks at Apologies

“Who ever is playing as “trashpire” is losing badly.” Penny plopped on the couch between Freddy and Leech.

“Wow thanks for the encouragement.” Leech grumbled as Freddy stabbed her character again. The demon was himself in the game of course, playing it somehow on the stupid Nintendo power glove. Leech put the controller down and packed another bowl in a huff.

“Aww giving up so soon bloodsucker?”

“You know its not fair when you use demon magic to win. Hey Penny sweetie, help me out here do that thing you do with the tv.” she picked the controller up after taking a hit from the colorful pipe.

Pennywise growled “I am a timeless ancient evil not something you can use to cheat on video games.”

“It's not cheating if Freddy’s cheating too.”

Penny playfully covered her face with his hand causing Leech to lose once again. The clown cackled at her protest continuing to mess with her vision. Leech finally got fed up and bit down on his thumb. Pennywise growled with mock anger and the vampire released him peppering little kisses on the wound.

“Ugh can you guys take a break today? I don't want to deal with Vorhees trying to break in” Freddy scooted over as far away from the couple as possible.

“Is he at it again? Man I bet that asshole was way better when he didn't talk” Leech remembered the first time she had run into Jason and how obnoxious he was.

“Nah, He was still an asshole” Freddy grumbled taking a hit from the pipe.

“Speaking of silent giant assholes, you know who absolutely freaks me out?”

“Me?” Penny grinned proudly

“Haha you wish. You're a giant asshole for sure but you aint quiet love. No its Michael Myers, I ran into him in the store the other night and the guy just stood there silently in the middle of the aisle like he was trying to decide he wanted to stab me in the throat or not.”

Penny's face twisted into that of pure offense. HOW DARE she think someone else was scarier than HIM. HIM the eater of worlds! The master of FEAR ITSELF. Pennywise felt his eye twitch and drift apart.

“Mikey is a total jerk man, he has this high and mighty attitude. Just because you don't say anything doesn't make you the scarier monster.” Freddy let out a puff of smoke while handing the pipe to the vampire who took a long hit.

“Pfft you're the opposite end of the spectrum Fred, maybe take a page out of Myers book sometime and shut up” she passed the pipe back across Penny’s lap, who was eerily still, to the dream demon.

“Nonsense, the ladies love a chatty killer! Right clown?…Clown?…Earth to Jingles?”

Penny's eyes had rolled completely to opposite sides of his face.

“You ok Pen?” Leech waved a hand in front of his face. The clown snapped to life with a roar and his jaws extended like a goblin shark biting onto her wrist. “OW HEY WHAT THE HELL” she slapped him on the back of the head. Pennywise let go, quickly grabbing her shoulders and sniffing frantically. “Were you scared???” he asked still sniffing her “NO I'm fucking pissed off what the shit Penny!?”

“Y-you weren't scared? Not even a little?” wait was he worried?

“Looks like you're losing your edge clown! Mikey is the one who scares your girl now!” Freddy laughed and Leech threw a dusty old pillow at him.

“Kruger!!” she hissed.

Penny got up and made his way towards the well his face expressionless.

“Oooooh boy I can already tell this is going to become a thing with him.”

“Shouldn’t have said that Ol’ Mikey is the one who really gets the adrenaline pumping then!”

“Ugh don't say it like that. I don't even think he's that attractive. He wears a William Shatner mask for fucks sake”

“I'm going to tell him you said that next time I see him!”

“DONT”

“Awwww whats the matter? S-s-s-scared Mike’s gonna come get ya?!” Freddy cackled

“I will pay you not to Fred, I'm dead serious”

“Now I know what to put in your nightmares tonight!”

“You wouldn’t”

“The clown’s off having an existential crisis you're fair game bloodsucker!”

“Are you just being a sore loser because I beat you in guitar hero? I won fair and square its not my fault you don't know all the songs.”

Freddy got up and tipped his hat to her “See you in your dreams scaredy cat”

like an evil Santa he was gone.

Leech sat alone in her room trying her hardest not to fall asleep knowing that Freddy would continue to mess with her more. She suddenly wished she could lucid dream so she could just punch him in the face next time he popped up. The vampire rolled over onto her back. “Maybe if I ate something?” she thought aloud but that would require getting up and going out. She settled on reading pulling out a book she had got from the library on Derry’s history. She liked knowing about Penny’s past exploits since he was always so cryptic with her when she asked. Plus morbid stuff was interesting.

She was on a bit about an Easter explosion, over 100 children dead at the old iron works. She chuckled to herself “Man this must have been like Christmas come early for him” she kept reading recognizing his circus cart in one picture and she started wondering to herself how the hell did Penny get that down into the sewer. Her light began to flicker and Leech groaned knowing she’d have to get up and change the bulb. Stupid old house with its stupid shotty wiring. The light completely fizzed out without warning “Just my luck” she snarled grabbing a flashlight. When she turned it on she noticed something at the foot of her bed. No, someone. She brought the light up and saw the bloody stain on the figures shirt then finally to its face. It was a child. A dead one. The child spoke softly “Hello Leech wont you come play with us!” her face slowly began to decay. Leech sat back and continued to watch the show. The ghost girl floated up and landed so she was standing on Leech’s stomach. It crouched down so it was in her face.

“Come play with us!!” It roared.

“Spooky, Like the decay it’s a nice touch.”

The ghost frowned and then opened its jaws showing millions of teeth. Its tongue snaked out holding a small silver crucifix. Leech hissed at it in anger and the charm melted, sliver splashing onto her chest causing smoke to rise from her skin. She screamed in pain and the ghost realizing it messed up began frantically trying to wipe it off her. Leech’s skin began to burn and suddenly her tank top had caught fire from the heat. The ghost became the clown, who tore the burning fabric off of his mate stomping out the flames with his large boots. Penny noticing her skin was lighting on fire now, scooped her up and ran to the bathroom tossing her in the shower and turning it on.

She was soaked her favorite sleeping shirt was ruined and there was awkward burns on her boobs. Pennywise was in DEEP trouble.

“Penny…… why the FUCK did you use an actual silver crucifix to try to scare me?!”

“I-I..um did it work?”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK DO I LOOK SCARED TO YOU?”

“Maybe the fire did alit-”

“SHUT UP. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT UP TO HER WITH YOU TONIGHT! get me a FUCKING towel and get the FUCK out” she screamed she had never gotten this mad at him before.

“You cant kick me out I own this house.”

“OUT”

The clown vanished quickly reappearing on the couch down stairs. Where he placed his giant gloved hands over his face. She’ll be back she always calls for him to come back. Any minute now….

————

A few hours had passed and Penny was messing with Freddy and Leech’s video game trying to scare kids up way too late through their screens. She hadn't called for him back.

“Someone’s been banished to the cooouuucchh!” Chucky sang from the doorway.

“I swear if you say any more words doll…”

“Heard the screaming awhile ago what did you do? It has to be good to get kicked out of the bedroom”

The clown sighed. “I tried to scare her and I accidentally set her on fire.”

“Holy shit!” Chucky cackled “thats amazing! I cant believe you fucked up that bad Jingles!”

“Wonderful.” Penny grumbled

“Don’t sweat it clown, she’ll be begging for you back in no time. You just have to be real nice for a few days, which I know is hard for you…”

“Whats the use, my mate hates me and I'm not scary anymore.” the clown moped his head sinking low.

“Pfft yeah Kruger told me she had a freaky run in with Meyers. Whats the matter losing your edge?”

“I’m not talking about this.”

“Cheer up Jingles like I said she’ll be begging for you back eventually. Bring her some gifts or somethin. Fancy chocolate chicks like that.”

“She cant eat chocolate she’s a vampire.”

“Uuuhh one of those silver charm bracelets? I stole Tiff one last week when I was in trouble for leaving that stiff on the new rug.”

“Just found out silver lights her on- wait….that was you?”

“I cleaned it up!”

“Barely.” the clown crossed his arms and rolled over on the couch.

“Look that girls crazy about you, she’ll be hollering your name again soon Jingles. I'm telling ya makeup sex is the best!”

Penny rubbed his temples. He was not in the mood to talk about this.

“Did you at least say you were sorry?”

“No. When have I ever had to say that. I don't grovel at her feet and beg like a dog.”

“HAHAHAHA oh man your funeral buddy.”

Pennywise rolled onto his back and dramatically sunk into a crack in the couch. The last thing he heard was the doll shouting some useless romantic advice about dishes before he was back in his nest in the sewer.

————

It had been a full morning with no Pennywise breathing down Leech’s neck. Usually he’d play his own little games with her. Trying to distract her while she poured her breakfast in her favorite mug, leaving dirty suggestive things on her morning crosswords. His favorite game was trying to convince her not to go to work. He was very persuasive. This morning though the clown was completely absent, it was almost nice actually to finally have some space. Leech was able to go through her whole morning routine with no interruptions. It was going to be such a relaxing day. The vampire was thankful she had taken the day shift it was always slower and easier she was able to mingle with the customers more and pick better tasting victims for later. She’d forgive Penny tomorrow. Leech was going to enjoy her day off from him.

Today two young men walked into the bar they looked rugged and well built the type that would spend a lot of time outdoors. Chop-Top elbowed the newest waitress when he caught Leech staring at the lean body of one of the guys, the cannibal whispered something to the new girl and laughed. Penny would be pissed if he saw her right now and Leech smiled at the thought spinning a glass a bit just to show off. Oh he would be seething mad, but he deserves it after the way he'd been acting. The men left her a nice tip and the one she’d been eyeing gave her a grin as he left. He'd make a nice snack later. Chop-Top leaned against the bar “You're going to be in so much trouble” he laughed knowing how jealous his coworkers lover tended to get.

“I'm allowed to look, besides he deserves a kick in the ass. Penny’s been a huge jerk lately.”

Chop-Top scratched the metal plate under his 60s era wig as Leatherface came out of the kitchen “Hey big guy it’s a slow day mind if I take off early? We got plenty of burgers stored up from that last big weekend” Leech asked. Leatherface nodded and patted the vampires head Leech grinned “Thanks boss!” the giant leaned down and placed a hand on her shoulder looking at where the two men sat in concern “Don't worry Bubba, Pen and I are solid I'm just messing with him for setting me on fire last night”

“What happened unfortunate juggling accident?” Leatherface’s eccentric brother twirled on a bar stool with laughter and the pretty new girl came over to the bar. She was one of the local werewolves and the only one Leech tolerated…..Tolerated is a strong word it was more she was contractually obligated to not start any more fights. “You got set on fire?”

“Yes Sandy I got set on fire. You didn't notice the burns on my cleavage?” Leech rolled her eyes. this bitch talks too much.

“What cleavage?” Chop-Top joked and Leech pushed him off the stool hard.

“My new boyfriend would never do that to me! He’s such a great guy!! Don't know why you put up with that kind of behavior that clown has”

“Gee Sandy! Maybe its because I actually love him and don't plan on dumping him in two weeks. You ever try that? I know its hard for you dogs to not hump the leg of everything you see” Leech muttered after turning away from the werewolf.

“What was that?” Sandy asked.

Leatherface and Chop-Top both began pointing frantically at the employee rules behind the bar. There was a new one scribbled in red marker at the bottom saying “NO MORE BLOOD-FEUDS” the vampire groaned.

“I mean um he’s an acquired taste. You get used to it.”

“I’ll say, must be so obnoxious with all that circus shit all the time. What a fucking weirdo…Oh and those bells and that shakey high pitched voice ugh”

“I. Like. The. Circus. Shit.” the nosferatu spat her fake smile beginning to crack. No one puts Penny down but her.

“it'd drive me crazy to date a guy who wore more make up than me.”

“HIS MAKEUP IS PERFECT AND HIS VOICE IS LIKE HONEY! Shut your whore mouth! I love my clown!!” the vampire roared claws scraping into the bar.

Leatherface practically threw the rule board at Leech. “She started it!”

“Your shifts over Leech, go home and no fighting” Chop-Top pushed the vampire out the door.

“FINE!” she got on her bike and rode off.

————-

It didn't help that everything reminded her of him. Leech wanted to head straight into the nearest storm drain after that incident and forgive him just so she could feel those long arms wrap around her. She was still mad at him though, and like a child he wouldn't learn his lesson unless she stuck to her guns and gave him the silent treatment. What made it hard was the clown’s presence seemed to be EVERYWHERE today. He was probably doing this on purpose so she’d forgive him faster.”That little shit.” Leech thought to herself when she saw a missing poster with her face on it. She pulled it off the wall and read it

Missing: you

24 years old

Last seen yelling at a sweet innocent clown

description: big ears, sharp teeth and bald. Cutest vampire you'll ever see!

If found please return to the nearest sewer opening or sad lonely clown. :o(

Leech rolled her eyes at the sad faced balloon crudely drawn in the corner. “You think you can win me over by being cute you need to try harder Penny” fuck he's making this difficult for her.

She folded the paper and put it in her bag. Leech tried her best to avoid every red balloon tied to almost all the street signs she came across. Somehow she ended up in the park and the vampire decided to sit in the shadiest area she could find to avoid dealing with her clown problem at home. Leech felt the familiar cramp of hunger begin to build, tearing at her insides till she could no longer ignore it. She decided to look around the crowd for someone who wouldn't be missed.

Her sensitive hearing picked up the sound of a couple local bullies shoving a kid against a tree off in the woods. This will work. The nosferatu crept into some bushes and waited for the boys to stop their tormenting. As she waited the smell of cotton candy and blood drifted into her nose. Oh great. She looked over and Pennywise was crouched in hunting mode diagonal from her. Of course he was here, that poor boy being pushed into the tree was terrified. “I’ll just take my food and go don't even talk to him…he’s probably after the kid anyway not the teens.” she thought to herself. The vampire moved closer and a twig snapped under her knee. “SHIT” she whispered then quickly covered her mouth, the poor nosferatu was still making all kinds of rookie mistakes. The teens let go of the boy who ran out of the woods and she saw the mess of orange hair snap in her direction. “Fantastic now were both mad at each other.” she rolled her eyes.

“W-whos there?” one of the boys asked. Leech sighed and shot a claw out from her bush to drag him back into it with horrifying speed while he screamed. The other boy jumped back shrieking and fell against the tree he had pinned his own victim to only a few moments before. Sickening crunching sounds could be heard from the bush the boy’s friend had just disappeared into. The surviving bully picked up a sharp branch in an attempt to save his friend and using it like a spear he stabbed into the bush Leech was feasting in. Something caught it before it made contact with her and the vampire froze turning to see Pennywise towering over the other boy. “Its rude to disturb a girl while she's enjoying her meal.” he snarled Leech had fallen back against her snack and stared up at him both in shock and relief to see Penny decided to help her out. The clown looked over at her and gave her a cocky smirk. If he thinks he's out of the dog house for saving my ass he's so wrong. Leech stood up and sarcastically smiled back at him. “What the fuck! What the fuck is that!” the bully screamed. The boys eyes were wide with tears of sheer terror from seeing his friends blood covering the vampire’s chin and the now six foot circus demon towering over him.

“Time to float kiddo” Pennywise lunged forward and delivered a perfect killing blow, dropping the body with a thud on the dirt. He turned to his vampire and gave a cocky grin. “SoooOOO….whats a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Cute. You use that line on all the flesh eating women you meet?” Leech rolled her eyes.

“Just the pretty ones like yourself my dear….. you going to finish that?” he pointed at the body next to her.

“I’m not giving you my meal and I'm still not talking to you” Leech crossed her arms and turned her head away from Pennywise trying not to get stuck in his golden stare.

“You’re talking to me right now though!” the clown strolled over to her and tilted her chin up to meet his gaze with a single gloved finger.

“Yeah well…. only cause you saved my ass….so thanks…asshole.” Leech glared at him. Penny sensed her beginning to break.

“My my little firecracker, is that any way to treat your rescuer? I think I deserve more thanks than that” he pulled her closer to him so she could feel his hot breath on her cold lips.

“You’re not getting any. You’ve been a dick lately” Leech looked away from him trying her best to hide the creeping blush on her hollow cheeks

“Then why aren't you trying to get away?” he was inches away from her now. Shit

“I hate you” Leech snarled and closed her eyes “Mmmmm I hate you more” his soft lips pressed against hers. Stupid clown. The vampire ran a claw through his hair pulling him into her to deepen the kiss Pennywise purred with victory. Leech unceremoniously pushed him off her with a huff facing away from him to hide the fact she was about to start grinning like a school girl. Pennywise snickered.

“You know, you're lucky I didn't punish you for chasing off my initial meal with your stupid mistakes.”

“Not everyone can be as perfect as you, I'm still learning. Give me a break.”

“Aww you're right I am perfect!” he smirked at his on lame joke.

“You're a narcissist is what you are.” Leech grumbled.

“I thought you weren't talking to me.”

“You’re right I'm not…I’m… you just….fuck….you’re so fucking frustrating you know that?” pennywise snarled and pinned her against the tree.

“Likewise bloodsucker. You have no idea how much you torment me.”

“At least I don't light you on fire when my ego’s bruised”

“At least I have an ego. Pitiful little thing, if you spent half the time you spend moping around on practice you wouldn't need me to save you from these situations.”

“I don’t need you to come save me I can take care of myself” Leech snarled back.

“That boy nearly impaled you. If I hadn't shown up you'd be one step away from losing that pretty head of yours. You're lucky I like you so much.”

Leech shoved him back “Yeah but you didn’t do it for me did you! I know you too well. You did it because you thought I’d stop being mad at you.” she took a bold step forward. Too bold. “Selfish prick… you know perfectly well I would have been fine. Stop trying to scare me with that you “would have died” bullshit I'm not in the mood.”

The clown slammed her into a tree with a growl fully pissed off now.

“Stupid girl. Do I need to show you how much I care again?” Pennywise roared his claws splintering into the tree behind her. “Go ahead” she grinned “but you still wont be man enough to ever say you're sorry to my face.” What a brat. She was completely right of course, but still her attitude was definitely in need of adjusting. He hated when she was right.

The clown placed a knee between her legs and grabbed her neck bringing her close to him again. Leech whimpered a bit when he licked her neck and chin with greed. He groped her body possessively touching her in any way that he wanted to and the vampire glared at him trying everything she could to hide the flush of ichor under the skin of her cheeks. He was being an ass but she loved it when he got worked up like this. Stupid clown. When he kissed her again Leech moaned into his mouth pulling his waist so his hips pressed against hers. Penny had the hem of her pants in his claws prepared to rip them off until he sniffed the air and paused more humans.

“Hello? Miss you ok?” a mans voice rang out in the woods. He couldn't see the clown or the bodies Penny had hidden them, but he left Leech. Lets see how she does without him there to save her now.

Leech's eyes widened oh shit it's the guy from the bar. Shit, shit, shit!!! Penny glanced over at her and sneered “Friend of your’s darling?”

“Hey! Its you! What’s a pretty little bartender doing way out here in these woods?”

Pennywise bared his fangs in jealousy. Oh she did know him. “Yeah what are you doing out here Leech” he turned to her with an evil grin

“Oh um nothing really”

“Just fucking my lover in the woods.” Pennywise mocked her. Leech wanted to die at this point.

“JUST GOING ON A HIKE” she yelled over the clown.

“You uh seem a bit roughed up you ok?” walked over to touch her arm and she pulled back.

“Fine! I'm fine! Tripped on a rock silly me! I must have weak knees!”

“Yeah clowns seem to make them shake like a leaf” Pennywise smirked enjoying his little test.

“Want me to take a look at it?” the man asked,

“I’ll..I’ll be ok” thats a lie, she was far from ok right now especially since Penny was now running a gloved hand down the small of her back and attempting to stuff said hand down the back of her pants.

“Well in that case forgive me if I'm being too forward but my friend and I are here for a couple days while we prep for a backpacking trip. I’d love to get your number so we could hang out sometime.”

This poor boy just signed his own death certificate. He was nice too, if Leech wasn't involved with Penny she might have even said yes. He’ll make a nice meal though, she didn't get to finish her’s after all. Pennywise walked behind the man and bared his fangs snapping his jaws near his head to show Leech what he planned on doing with him after she was gone. She gave the clown a look that said Not today Pennywise. “I’m actually already seeing someone-“ she paused an evil thought entering her mind and the vampire grinned at the clown wickedly “sorta… we’re having a big fight right now really.” Penny’s playful expression dropped. She wouldn't dare.

“Oh thats a shame you're more than welcome to talk about it, I'm Brad by the way”

“Lee-Lucy! I’m Lucy”

“You're mine is what you are.” Penny walked over to her and ran his fingers roughy along his mark on her neck. Leech swatted him away.

“So tell me dear Lucy, why would this guy of your’s ever want to make you upset? If you were my girl I would treat you like a princess”

Leech shot Penny another look that said “See? A princess!” Pennywise glared at her more.

“Well, it started as a practical joke gone wrong. Now its more about how he's being a selfish asshole”

“Well you're very cute a girl like you shouldn't have to put up with that”

“You think I'm attractive?” Leech laughed in surprise. Pennywise was fuming. “Huh I rarely ever hear that these days.” Leech looked directly into the clowns eyes.

“Absolutely, I have a thing for girls like yourself.” he chuckled and took a step closer to her. Wrong move buddy.

“Well um thanks…..don't think you'd like the real me though”

“What are you getting at Leech” Penny snarled.

Brad took her hand and Leech saw the clown twitch. “Nonsense. That guy of your’s doesn't know how lucky he is to have you.” this poor sweet boy is a walking corpse at this point. Brad leaned in while stared at Leech’s lips as if asking to kiss her.

“Dont even think about it” Pennywise’s eyes were blood red.

“Well thank you for the kind words” Leech turned away. Maybe she took this too far. She saw Penny struggling to hold his clown form together his face beginning to split. The human grabbed her chin to turn her face back to him and she glared. Ok buddy you've overstayed your welcome. Leech looked over to Penny and winked the clown narrowed his eyes. Suddenly Brad began to kiss her and the vampire snarled with rage, she bit clear through his lip sucking in the sweet blood. Brad screamed and staggered back. Leech laughed removing her wig to free her large bat like ears, she let her front fangs extend and brought her long red tongue out to lick up the blood on her chin. Pennywise hid the small half smile that threatened to break through his scowl. He did love to watch her work after all. Brad screamed in terror and disgust “Whats the matter baby? Thought you said I was beautiful.” she laughed as Pennywise made him self visible behind her the clown was still twitching a bit. “Hiya Brad!”

“What the fuck is that! What the fuck are you?”

“This is that boyfriend I was talking about dear. He’s not very happy about what you did. Neither am I.”

“That thing? You're dating that thing?”

Pennywise grunted.

“He's a clown not a thing Brad, and yes I love him… even when he's being a jerk” she elbowed Penny hard and he elbowed her back with a huff.

“You're still not letting that go are you?” the clown side eyed her.

“No Penny I’m not, you can either swallow your pride and apologize or let me eat this guy and leave”

“Wait eat me?!”

Pennywise growled at his vampire “Don't interrupt Brad. And I have nothing to be sorry for, you're the one letting some filthy human touch you.”

“For the record I didn't want the kiss that was our friend taking it a bit too far. But you deserve it anyway after the way you’ve been acting. Biting me, lighting me on fire, all because I said someone else scared me one time? You have some serious jealousy issues.”

“Wow I’ll say”

“Shut up Brad!” Leech hissed “You could at least start with an apology Pen, but instead you just act like what you did was perfectly justified. PLUS at least the human can give me a compliment every now and then you selfish prick!”

Penny turned to growl at her more but the frantic shuffling of fleeing feet drew his attention away. He snarled at the direction of the running human and turned to Leech “I’ll be back for you.”

“Go ahead I'm still not going to talk to you until you say you're sorry though!” The nosferatu yelled.

The clown glared and vanished. When she was finally alone Leech let out a roar in frustration. Fucking egotistical inter-dimensional clown. She cried by herself for a bit the weather becoming dark and stormy as a result. The vampire left her tears in the dirt and started to head home unaware of her clown watching her silently from the shadows. He hated seeing her upset and he knew was the one who caused it. He held up Brads detached head “Ok maybe you're both right I’ve been a bit of a “jerk” lately.” he made the head nod in agreement. “Shall I try getting her back then, my way?” the head nodded no. “You would say that Brad….you stole your taste and look where that got you hmm? I'm not giving in to her little apology game.” he turned the head to look at him “Yes I know I miss her terribly. Is that what you want to hear? You're dead I don't have to listen to you” Penny tossed the head behind him and ended his macabre one sided puppet show. The clown sunk into the shadows to plan.

--------------------------------------------

I headcannon Penny talking to his victims when he’s bored. Just having weird one sided convos with corpses. Also fun fact one of the horror movies that messed me up when I was a youth was Halloween. It didn't fuck me up as bad as Nightmare on Elm ST did but it fucked me up pretty good. Ironically Nightmare became one of my all time favorites but Halloween never really caught on for me. Just not a big fan of the silent killers beyond Leatherface I guess. Next chapter is gonna get FUN.

#pennywise #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise x oc #pennywise x reader #it fanfiction #monster roommate au

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thunder-the-ranger-wolf · 4 years

Text

Possible Snippet From Had Enough: The Dreamsight Remix

Summary, the tag to follow

Number Four was six houses down from Number Ten, and nobody pointed out that Mrs. Alfers only had one son. Or that the boy she took inside was swimming in his clothes. Blinds snapped shut and Harry could imagine housewives whispering to their husbands that the secretary had snatched him up. The scandal! Or they could just say the Dursleys dropped him off and went to celebrate their son's birthday elsewhere.

He should probably stop speculating and focus on getting used to all this.

“Well, here we are, home sweet home.” Mrs. Alfers murmured invitingly. She then walked over to the steps and called up the stairs.

“Jamie-boy, I took Harry to work with me today and he'll be staying here until further notice. Get some of your older clothes for him, would you?”

“Alright, mum!” Jaime called down the steps.

“I'm bringing Harry upstairs, so I hope your room is decent!”

“Does it matter if it is?” Harry wondered. “I doubt I'll be going into any room but the one you give me. And the bathroom, I guess.”

“It's a preference of mine, dear. I'm allowed to haggle him, I'm his mother.”

“Of course you are.” He acquiesced. She led him up the stairs and to the right. Two doors later, she opened a door and motioned him inside.

The walls were pale blue. There was a bed in the corner opposite the door with a wiry frame. Across from it sat a silver desk with a black rolling chair. A closet nestled in the corner in front of the bed and the cabinet was pushed up against it. A round, long sofa the color of the closet and dresser was right by the door.

“Here we are. The bed is freshly made since we rarely have guests overnight. When Jaime brings his clothes, feel free to try everything on. He doesn't wear it anymore and what fits can be yours until we budget for you. Yell if you need anything.”

With those words, Mrs. Alfers left him to the room and shut the door. He walked over to the bed and sat down. It was springy enough. The room was nice. He could treat this like a sleepover… If no one came to pick him up then whatever. If he ever got bored he could go back to that Aldi's and see if they were hiring. Or know anyone who was. Not that he knew the first thing about getting a job.

The more he thought this through, the more wretched he felt. Would the Dursleys even care? Would they look? Harry had nowhere else to go and he was used to what he'd been given. He grew up in Number Four. Where would he go, and why?

The fact is that he had flipped the whole day on its head because of some stupid dreams he’d been having. Harry got lucky, finding Mr. Jacobs and Mrs. Alfers. He just walked out of Number Four, out of that cupboard, and just didn't care. He’d been too scared too. He cared now. He couldn't mooch off the Alfers. He’d fail at getting a job but it's worth a shot. All the stuff the other him did in those dreams were things he couldn’t possibly imagine. He’d scream himself hoarse if he ran into a giant dog, let alone one with three heads. Whoever thought this was a good idea must have scrambled eggs for brains.

A knock on the door jolted Harry from his thoughts.

“Yes?” He called out.

“Got you some better rags,” Jaime called out.

Anything would be better. Harry scoffed internally.

Opening the door revealed a pile of clothes on legs. Those legs walked straight to the bed and set the clothes down, which clarified that the legs did indeed have a human attached to the rest of them. Jaime looked about four years older than Harry. He had extremely pale skin, made paler by his ginger hair, and his eyes were greenish-blue. He had clear skin, surprisingly. Harry always figured people his age would have spots on their faces.

“Take after my dad.” He explained at Harry’s stunned look. It was very obvious that he looked nothing like his mom. “On the other hand, you look exactly like my mother. We could definitely pass you off as a nephew. Do you want to change your name?”

“Not… not yet, I don't think.” Harry offered slowly. Harry Potter was the only name he’d ever known. How could he respond to another name? “Harry is fine.”

“Well, I'll leave you to it. Good luck getting all that sorted out, Shrimp.”

Oh, that’s how.

"Call me Wolf." Harry insisted. “If you have to call me anything like that.”

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Nobody cared that he was at the Alfers’ house, and for that, Harry was glad. Dudley actively ignored Harry after the younger boy jumped on his back and started grabbing at his hair. He didn't actually rip any out. It was too thick. That got the message across, though.

The Dursleys didn't say anything about it but Harry suspected they didn’t know where he was. For all he knew, they tossed everything Harry could have called his own. It was a very good thing that Dudley's and Harry's birthdays are in the middle of summer.

Speaking of, Harry stumbled when asked when his birthday was he stumbled over it. He’d spent so much time focusing on Dudley’s birthdays throughout the years, Dudley’s parties, Dudley’s presents, that there was no reason for Harry to remember his birthday. And now, with these new dreams, there were more important dates to worry about. Like Halloween.

Technically it was July 31st. Not that Harry could say. Someone remembered because on that day Jaime shook Harry awake.

“The Dursleys got mail for you. Someone really wants to talk to you, apparently.”

“What?” Harry sighed, fresh from a dream about a flying motorcycle and a man sticking out the back of someone’s head.

“Yeah, they got a bunch of letters from the same place all saying the same thing. They started burning them but Mrs. Figg rescued one from the pile and dropped it in our mail slot. And get this: their house is surrounded by owls.”

“Owls,” Harry repeated dumbly. “Like barn owls? The ones that swoop after mice and go ‘who?’”

“The very same. These seem to be waiting for something, but they don't wait very long. They definitely don't care for Vernon Dursley. I think one pecked at him when he tried shooing them away.”

Harry snickered at that.

“I hope they shat on his lawn.” He scoffed.

“That's fucked, Wolf.” Jaime laughed, yanking him out of the bed. “C'mon, then, get dressed. Everyone's downstairs for breakfast.”

Harry didn't know who this everyone was, because, outside of Jaime and his friends, nobody really interacted with him. They knew he existed. They just didn't care. He was alright with that.

“Everyone” turned out to be Jaime's friends, Mr. And Mrs. Alfers, the Jacobs family, and Mrs. Figg from down the road. They were all huddled around the square glass dining room table and shouts of “Happy Birthday!” began when Harry entered the room.

“Thanks.” He chirped, pleasantly surprised. He was even more surprised when, after putting an omelet in front of him, Mrs. Alfers talked about presents. Harry gobbled it down. It was spinach and cheddar cheese which he’d never had before but the flavors sang on his tongue! And they managed turkey bacon too! It'd been a thing of awkwardness when Harry admitted that he wasn't a fan of red meat. The Dursleys ate that all the time, and since he was usually the one cooking it, he was determined to never smell that stuff again. The Alfers family took that in stride and whenever Mrs. Alfers cooked she managed to.l set aside a bowl for Harry before she added meat to it.

Mr. Alfers clapped him on the back and insisted that he slow down. There was more where that came from, even if he was excited to get to the presents.

“Presents? From who?”

“Us, of course. And a few of your teachers from school.”

“Okay.” Harry snorted, gulping down the last few bites of his omelet and heading to the sink. Like anyone would give him presents from school.

“Dishes in the wash, Wolf.” Mrs. Alfers reminded him. He nodded and placed his in the appropriate slots, thankful that all three Alfers were using the nickname he'd given them. They seemed to know that Harry wasn't comfortable hearing his name. The fact that they adjusted anyway was nothing short of a miracle. Using a dishwasher here wasn't that different from what Harry was used to, but again, the Dursleys insisted Harry learn to wash the dishes properly before he even looked at any of their precious gadgets. Harry can absolutely wash dishes.

The presents ended up being a skateboard and helmet from Jaime's friends, a Nintendo from Jaime himself, and a bike from Mr. and Mrs. Alfers. Harry didn't even get to the other gifts yet. He was stunned that these three knew him so well.

“You guys are amazing.” Harry blurted out.

“Well, you're a wonderful child. It's the least we can do.”

The other presents were chocolate fudge from Mrs. Figg and a fist-sized bag of Jolly Ranchers. Harry absolutely loved these. He doesn’t know where they possibly came from, but Jolly Ranchers were his new favorite candy next to chocolate. And he’d been given both today.

“Whoever did this is my hero,” Harry admitted. “Not that I don't appreciate all of you and thank you for everything, but I have jolly ranchers and chocolate on the same day!”

Considering these particular brands are from the US, he took a bit to wonder how in the world they got here. There must be a special store or something.

“Thought you'd be impressed with the food.”

“Fudge.” Harry chirped. “Always.”

“What do you want to do first?” Mr. Alfers asked as Harry waffled back and forth over his new presents.

“Skateboard… and try that fudge. And that game. Oh, wait, um… Jaime mentioned a letter?”

“Yes indeed. Something your parents signed you up for when they first had you. It's a special school where you'll learn everything they did.” Mrs. Figg informed him.

“You knew my parents?” He found himself saying. Mrs. Figg didn't talk about her past much. Around here, not many did. She was in the dreams Harry was having but. He figured they couldn’t tell him everything.

“Your father was a police officer and your mother worked with herbs.” Mrs. Figg responded gravely. “They died because James's work life followed him home.”

“As those things are wont to do.” Harry finished dully. That might explain the green lights and the flying and screaming and waving sticks. “Where's the letter?”

Mrs. Figg handed over a yellow-brown envelope with emerald-green ink.

It had Harry's name at the center and the nickname he now preferred.

Wolf AKA Mr. H. Potter

The Cupboard Under The Stairs

Number Four Privet Drive

Little Whinging, Surrey

“Do you… do you know what this is?” He prompted warily. He knew it was from his dreams, but those couldn’t possibly be real… could they?

“Yes, but we'll talk about it later. Why don't you go see what games are in that new device of yours? Or try out the skateboard? Wear your helmet, will you? And take your brother and his friends with you.”

“I, uh… I'll do that. But we'll talk later?”

“Cross my heart.” Mrs. Alfers swore.

Harry decided he would have to take her at her word as he let Jaime sweep him up and carry him like a football out the door.

The sun was blinding and the sky was overcast, about right for this day. Jaime set Harry down as his friends all gathered their skateboards and helmets. There were seven of them, so they had to make one hell of a crowd racing down the street.

“First thing's first,” Jaime said when everyone had their helmets on. “is that you have to work on balance before anything else. I'm going to drag you along so you can get a feel for it and then you can try skating for yourself.”

This ended up being one of Harry’s favorite birthdays ever.

#hp fanfic #had enough: the dreamsight remix #harry potter

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relatablyinsane-blog · 7 years

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Quadpolar Part 2!

Just want to let you know that i had instant bloggers remorse after that last post. Welp, I've stepped in it now.

So i totally forgot to mention that I'm adopted (see: Symptoms of ADHD; rushing, inventiveness), pretty important stuff. That means my nice, old fashioned, very old, worked in the post office their whole life parents are not, in fact my real parents. What they did was reach into a barrel of discarded babies and pull out a meth head kid. (Sorry to my biological mom reading this, we have to go in context for a bit). For the sake of sanity my adoptive mom will be Mom and my biological mom will be Mama, although that didn't happen til MUCH later.

I was adopted at birth and told as soon as i was old enough to understand, something i appreciate my adoptive parents for. They never kept secrets from me, made sure i knew what sex was right off the bat, my super paranoid mom even gave me a book CALLED "Child lures" (I'm not kidding this was literally a pedophile's handbook for a seven year old to read, look it up. Fucked up.) But as far as how true it all was, maybe I'll never know.

What I was told by my adoptive mom was that my biological mother was a drug addict with two other kids already (my sister was 4 and my brother was 2). My father, who she was with at the time, was also a drug addict. As the story goes (i still haven't dared to ask), while high on meth one day he beat my baby brother so bad that his ribs and arm were broken and he now has permanent neurological damage. Last i knew my brother had just gotten out of jail and was homeless, so his life hasn't really improved. That was about the time the state of Arkansas decided that my mother, pregnant with me at the time, would no longer have custody of her children and we would all be placed for adoption immediately. My sister and brother, who shared a father that was different from mine, were placed in an orphanage and my Mama chose my adoptive parents to take me from birth. I had no correspondence with her for decades and didn't want to- to me she was a vile, despicable woman like all the drug addicts in the world- but i had mever even met someone on drugs so what did I know? So, born in Arkansas, raised in New Jersey and then....

Fast forward to the good part: the part that sticks my crazy ass in the awful state of Maine. I liked vacationing there, but did i want to move there? Hell no! My one best friend in the world, the boy next door who I'd grown up with and was the same age as, was not coming with us. It was in the middle of nowhere, on the eve of my Fifth grade year. Having skipped a grade, I was only 9 at the time. I distinctly recall my first car ride to the rural beach town, during which I had a small mental break down and screamed "THEY'RE DRIVING TRACTORS ON THE ROAD!!!" because that was just <i>unheard of.</i> The only kid on the street, eventual cheer captain, straight A student and model child was my age but wanted nothing to do with the hyperactive menace next door who came over uninvited and played with the dogs. Yep, that was me. Forcing myself into the company of people who didn't want me around.

And thus I started school at the local K through 8. Wait. K through 8? How many kids went to this school????? Must be like TEN THOUSAND!! Back in Jersey there were 2-3 grade levels to a school, 30 kids to a class and 11 of each grade.That's over 600 kids in just two grades! (And i still had no friends. Sob. Seriously i must have been an awful kid.) You never had the same classmates twice, classes switched every grade. I couldn't imagine how FRIGGEN HUGE a school with every grade in it would be!!

What? What's that. There are HOW MANY kids in my class?

16. And how many in the grade? 16.

....so there's one fifth grade? And how many kids in the school??? ......a little over a hundred.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAA.

At first i was pumped. I get to make friends and stay with them all the way till high school?! YES. Except this was when I remember my life becoming a living hell.

At this point i had been on at least three different medications for ADHD and none of them worked. Ritalin, Concerta, Stratera etc. Apparently i was still as annoying as ever because i remember being tormented relentlessly. Like, relentlessly. When there's only 16 kids in the class and you're the target, there's no escape. The teacher's let it happen. I was called hippopotamus. My lunch got spat in. I was mocked in front of the class. I was called stupid. Everyone would argue about having to sit next to me and i would just sit alone, or if someone did have to sit with me (usually the teacher assigned someone which made it worse) they would push my things off my desk or ask to copy my work once they realized i was almost as smart as the smartest girl in the class.

And i let them. I wanted SO fucking badly to be popular, to have a friend, fucking anything. It always blew up in my face. As soon as i was done being used for answers, a good place in line, a random good pick for a team or something, i was immediately shunned again. I buried myself in my extracurriculars (now it was swim team, violin and piano), joined band, chorus, jazz band, softball and soccer. I told my parents very little unless they were being dragged in for parent teacher conferences about how i was inattentive and always acting out. My grades began to slip because I was starting to learn about depression and constantly forgot to do my homework. My strict as hell parents were making me practice piano and violin for hours a day and my only solace was my meager 30 minutes of Nintendo 64 time per day. At one point my sixth grade teacher (stupid bitch, i hope you enjoy your cancer (sorry, y'all)) told my parents i wasn't as smart as everyone said and i should be held back because she thought i was autistic. I'm a lot of things, but not fucking autistic.

In the summer before seventh grade i finally got a reprieve in the form of my still longest best friend and the miracle drug Adderall. For those who don't know, Adderall is an amphetamine based ADHD medication and widely abused for it's stimulant properties. For anyone with ADHD however, it mellows the shit out of us and makes us super focused. Well, I'm a little allergic to it, so it actually makes me aggressive. On top of that, it makes your appetite nonexistent so, surprisingly, your favorite curvy girl Jay developed an eating disorder. Not on purpose at first. I just wasnt hungry so i didn't eat. I skipped breakfast, skipped lunch, ate the light dinner my parents prepared and went to bed. Hunger was nonexistent. Then one day i woke up and discovered myself at about 135 pounds, i tried on my first pair of short shorts out shopping with my mom. I'll never fucking forget looking in the mirror and saying out loud "Wow... I actually look great in these!" I didn't realize it was the Adderall at the time but I let it get worse. Whenever i did eat off my only light dinner schedule i would make myself throw up. I eventually got down to 117 pounds. My lowest weight. I stayed there for years. Once i had a state ID with me at that weight. Even at 12 i looked emaciated. It was revolting. I kept that ID for awhile to remind myself how awful i looked and to remind me that I look better curvy, but then i got fat and it made me sad. But i digress.

When i got back to school I suddenly gave not a single fuck about anyone picking on me. Adderall made my emotions <i>nonexistent</i>, but my temper started to boil. As a punching bag i was still pretty friendly and docile, like a big dumb dog that comes trotting back for another beating time and time again. Now i was silent and glowery. People took notice, and that's where my first real best friend came in. Let's call her Patti. I will always remember the day it really happened. I was the first person in line for recess, a great honor, but all my classmates were playing the "EW I DON'T WANT TO STAND NEXT TO HER" game. As per usual. I didn't really care. Thank god for drugs amirite? But then one voice rang out above the crowd of heckling...

I'm just kidding, it was more of a frustrated "seriously guys? Grow up." and then there was Patti. Someone who'd never joined in the terrorizing- i didn't and still don't blame anyone who didn't speak up. It would have made them a target too. But why? She was a cheerleader. I don't think anyone disliked her. She wasn't "popular" but she'd been going to this school since kindergarten and knew everyone. I guess I'll never really understand. But she was a lifesaver, even before the depression got really bad. She actually got to know me, the real me, she realized (and helped me realize too) that i was funny, and goofy and smart, and friendly. Eventually, because of her, some of the others started to come around too, but none of them were ever quite as close to me as she was. I thank god for this girl pretty regularly. Not as much as i should lately.

But there was still the matter of the bullies- and of my short fuse. I had my first kiss that year and a few short lived "boyfriends"- all from other schools of course, it would have been an unforgivable taboo to be interested in Jay. But that year was the year i put my foot down. As i mentioned earlier, Adderall had made me apathetic, but also very, very aggressive. The rage built slowly for several months until one fateful day in art class. I can't remember what i was doing to deserve this comment, i genuinely wish i could, but one of my usual enemies decided to say "No wonder your parents didn't want you!"

She was across the table from me and before i knew it i had launched myself across the table and had my hand up around her throat. No squeezing, just pressure. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head and the entire room fucking froze. It was like something out of a movie. That was the first time i ever rage cried. If i ever get angry enough that my eyes start to water, someone's gonna get hurt. We both got sent to the principal, maybe because the sensible art teacher recognized a normally good natured kid snapping. I looked dead into that principal's eyes and told him that I'd had enough. I was tired of being picked on every single day and having nothing done. Teachers watched and let it happen. Some fucking joined in. HE let it happen after i told him time and time again what was going on. I didnt get in trouble. The bullying receded a good amount that day. It didn't stop completely until almost the end of the year.

Through my mother's networking at church i had become friends with one of the most popular girls at a neighboring school- a gorgeous russian adopted girl with a thick accent and a very early onset sex drive. Yikes. In turn, she introduced me to her brother, who i began "dating" for several months. By "dating" i mean we held hands and made out under the bleachers at YMCA dances and he tried to get me to give him a blowjob at my 12th birthday party. Jesus yikes. Needless to say that relationship didn't last long but I'd suddenly earned a reputation of someone who was- dare i say it- close to popular?

Then there was the summer of 2004. The best few months of my life. Patti and i were inseperable, we rode our bikes around the town every day, snuck into the state park, ate ice cream at the little trailer shop nearby, stayed up all night then nodded off through church the next day. And we dreamed. Oh sweet jesus did we dream about getting as far away from our shitty little town as possible and never coming back. I had honestly never been happier and for the first time in my life i had a best friend. I had a birthday party at the end of the school year and a bunch of people came- people from my school!- we genuinely had an amazing time. The girls all slept over and for once, finally, i felt like i belonged.

Eighth grade was a breeze, if you skim over Adderall making me almost punch my mom in the face. It was the first and last time i ever raised a fist to my parents. But it had done it's job. I wasn't getting picked on, i gained a little more weight and filled out nicely, I excelled at academics, won awards in jazz band, joined the bangor youth symphony orchestra, and actually made real friends (none in my school save for patti really.)

So.... That's my life up until high school. That's when i met depression. 😘

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fatallypink · 7 years

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s/o to @dolllike for tagging me!! i tag @ready-set-fangirl @pincurlsandpixiedust @communist-waifus @shiratoriwowza @ukulelesandwich @tarmour9 and anyone else that wants to do this!

1) Coke or Pepsi? coke

2) Disney or Dreamworks? disney!

3) Coffee or Tea? tea

4) Books or movies? depends on the book/movie (for example i will always prefer the original poto book to any of its adaptations) but generally i like to watch movies first before i read the book

5) Windows or mac? windows for sure lmao i hate apple

6) D.C. or Marvel? not super into comics but if i had to chose one then id say dc

7) Xbox or PlayStation? only have had an xbox, but honestly i dont care much for either (i prefer nintendo or pc)

8) Dragon age or mass effect? not into either

9) Night owl or early riser? night owl for sure... i hate getting up anytime before 11

10) Cards or chess? uhh cards i guess, i dont remember how to play chess

11) Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla

12) Vans or converse? chucks

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? uhh idk what this is from

14) Fluff or angst? angst... i live to suffer

15) Beach or forest? pacific northwest beaches are lovely

16) Dogs or cats? *insert the road to el dorado “both is good” gif here*

17) Clear skies or rain? warm n rainy is gucci

18) Cooking or eating out? eating out, i hate cooking food

19) Spicy or mild food? mild because i am white and a baby

20) Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas? halloween is so wonderful, best time of the year

21) Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? little too cold... heat triggers my illnesses so hot=pain

22) If you could have a superpower what would it be? being really good at one specific thing of my choice

23) Animation or live action? animation

24) Paragon or renegade? idk what this question is asking

25) Bath or shower? shower, again hot=pain

26) Team Cap or team Ironman? neither, this movie was stupid

27) Fantasy or sci-fi? fantasy

28) Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they?

“the mind of the subject will desperately struggle to create memories where none exist...” (bioshock infinite)

“though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night” (the old astronomer by sarah williams)

“draw a monster. why is it a monster?” (daughter by janice lee)

29) YouTube or Netflix? i spend much more time on youtube soo....

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? hp

31) When do you feel accomplished? when my room is clean, my face is moisturized, and ive finished all of my homework

32) Star Wars or Star Trek? star wars 100% im a sw hoe

33) Paperback books or hardcover books? hard cover, they look prettier imo

34) Fantastic beasts or Cursed child? fantastic beasts (im a hufflepuff so im glad to have some quality hp representation)

35) Rock or pop music? pop, but mostly like indie pop or kpop

36) What is the most important thing in your life? my fam and friends ofc

37) Mountains or sea/ocean? ocean

38) How do you express yourself? clothing/hair, also art and decoration

39) What’s the first book/film that really counted to you? i dont really remember any books or movies that i watched when i was really young, but i was soooo obsessed with pokemon when i was a kid and i remember seeing some of the movies in theater

40) What’s your element (air, water, etc.)? water

41) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? seoul or tokyo

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be? video game designer, professional costumer (esp for like period films or theater), or fashion designer

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? a cure to be developed for my illnesses (that could work for like other people too), to have a lot of money, and to have trump/his office to disappear

44) If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? disneyland corndogs

45) If you could only have one, which social media platform would you use for the rest of your life? instagram

46) Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor? already stated this but im a hufflepuff lmao

47) What’s your favorite food discourse guilty pleasure? i have no food guilty pleasures because i somehow was blessed w the ability to eat anything and never gain weight

(lunes question)48) who is your favorite character from a book/film/comic and why?: duck/ahiru (princess tutu) is my ultimate fav character ever... like #1 she is cute and goodhearted and p u r e #2 she is such a klutz but she tries her best :’) #3 throughout the series she really grows and has such great character development, she is best girl and anyone who disagrees can fight me personally

my question: is there something that you regret not doing, or a chance you regret not taking? what is it and why do you regret it?

#asks #tagged #ty lune ily #sorry this is kinda late i forgot about it hehh

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bubblegumjetpack · 7 years

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I’ve been tagged!

Thanks to @ghiraheeheeheem for tagging me

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions you feel like.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Dr Pepper, honestly. But I guess Coke if I have to choose.

2. Disney or Dreamworks: They’re both really good, honestly, but I guess Disney has more of a nostalgia factor. They also have AMAZING villain songs.

3. Coffee or Tea: Coffee, but since I injured my knee, I’ve had to switch to tea. Otherwise the acidity bothers it.

4. Books or Movies: Books yesssssssssssssssssssss

5. Windows or Mac: I actually really like Apple products, but the company is a giant bag of dicks that extorts their customers so I’m staying with Windows.

6. DC or Marvel: Yikes. I like DC more, but the comic reboot made me furious. I still haven’t forgiven them for their treatment of Tim Drake. I guess the Marvel comics are better, but the Marvel movies have become really bad lately. I know, that’s an unpopular opinion. I don’t hate them, I just think they could be way better.

7. Xbox or Playstation: Playstation, definitely. Although I have been, and always will be, a child of Nintendo forever. As long as they keep making Pokemon and Zelda games, I’m theirs.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Dragon Age has a lot of problems, but I like it way better than Mass Effect. I’m just not really into the story that Mass Effect brings to the table. It’s not bad, it’s just not for me.

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: look man don’t wake me up just let me sleep forever morning is for literally anyone else

10. Cards or Chess: I’m terrible at both, but cards.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Yes.

12. Vans or Converse: *extreme shrugging motion*

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: Adaar was my first one, so yes. But Cadash and Lavellan are also amazing. Not a fan of playing humans in DA, it’s boring.

14. Fluff or Angst: Angst, I guess. I’m a huge fan of whump fics.

15. Beach or Forest: beeeeeaaaaaach gimme that SUN

16. Dogs or Cats: why do you ask this question what kind of monster are you they are both perfect and wonderful and there should never be a choice

17. Clear Skies or Rain: rain because thunderstorms are so, so soothing

18. Cooking or Eating Out: i fucking LOVE to cook, it’s like mad science but you can eat it and i don’t always like to toot my own horn but i’m a pretty damn good cook

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: SPICY GIMME THAT HEAT also i lived in louisiana for several years so i had to get used to it or else just cry a lot

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Halloween is my favorite month of the year.

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot : I despise being cold with every fiber of my tiny body. It’s the actual worst and it takes me forever to get warm again.

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?: Teleportation.

23. Animation or Live Action: Boy am I just NOT a fan of live action versions of animated stuff. Is that what this question is about? I dunno

24. Paragon or Renegade: The system is stupid and makes no sense but if we’re talking “lawful or chaotic” instead of some weird “good or evil” slider then I’m solidly chaotic.

25. Baths or Showers: showers, but i really enjoy a good bath once in a while, with bath salts and bath bombs and a cold beer

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: This was a fucking awful movie. No.

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Okay, so, I like watching Sci-Fi tv shows more than I like watching fantasty shows, but in games and books, i prefer fantasy to sci-fi. I have no idea why that is.

28. Do you have a favorite quote? If so, what is it?:

29. YouTube or Netflix: Eh, depends on what i’m in the mood for

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter forever and ever and ever

31. When You Feel Accomplished: Usually after I write. Working on my personal projects brings me the greatest sense of achievement. But hey, doing stupidly hard video game challenges also does that for me at the high cost of all of my suffering. Guess which one I do more often?

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: They are not the same thing! They are very different universes with very different focuses! We can like both of them equally! I have no idea why i feel so strongly about this

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Paperback

34. horror or rom-com: Rom-coms are super boring to me. It’s always the same straight white couple that goes through the same storyline. No. Horror is my absolute favorite genre of anything! It’s so, so good and such a potent storytelling tool even in stories that don’t feature it as the predominant genre. I HAVE A LOT OF STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT HORROR

35. tv shows or movies: movies

36. favorite animal: A FUCKING DRAGON or snakes, snakes are cool

37. favorite genre of music: ???????i just listen to literally all kinds of shit?????

38. least favorite book: Unpopular Opinion - Eragon. My god I hate that series. It’s SO BAD.

39. favourite season: Summer!

40. song that’s currently stuck in your head: all the music from Breath of the Wild, Kass’s song that he plays is driving me insane send help

41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear? T-Shirt and pajama pants

42. Handwriting or Typing? typing

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be?: Some kind of insane rock song? Something ridiculously silly

44. What is your go to book/movie/tv show that you immediately find solace in when you feel down?: I generally play Zelda to make myself feel better, but I’ll also watch my favorite horror movies if I’m sick.

45. “Yer a wizard/witch, Y/N” - your reaction? idk, it’s not that funny a meme?

46. Are you generally a messy or organized person?: Both, probably. I mean, everything LOOKS like a trash pit, but an organized pit.

47. What’s your go to comfort food?: Spaghetti, definitely.

48. Favorite musical instrument?: Guitar

49. Do you consider yourself to be an honest person?: Absolutely, lying takes way too much effort because you have to remember what your lies were and who has that kind of time?????

50: What’s your favorite video game, and why?: Zelda, obviously, because it’s a story about how you don’t have to be big or super strong or super capable, it’s about just having the courage to do the right thing even if you’re young and tiny, or stuck in the wrong form, or terrified and scared, or from a simple background. I have a lot of feelings about this series.

also now i gotta tag people or something so i guess @ushauz and @heavenbat and maybe @radioactiveferret???? whoever wants to, i guess, it’s just for fun

#about me

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chroniclesofawkwardness · 6 years

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Greg(g) and the Giant Peach

"Whelp, Gregg Allman died today."

This was not how I expected the silence to be breached. (I had to do a quick check of YouTube to confirm that Gregg spelled his name with two gs at the end. To those of you who grew up eating peaches or tied to the Whipping Post, I apologize.) It's not like "Ramblin' Man" was on the radio, or we were discussing icons of 70s rock music. My Uber driver and I had just reached one of those awkward lulls in conversation that so many people fear and so few can enjoy.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, both taken aback that Larry and his 4.8 stars had chosen to restart our conversation like this, and truly at a loss for words. The only thing I can think of that would have made Larry tell me that is that maybe I'd told him about my love of cooking, which sent his mind spiraling out of control until it crash-landed on a memory of the time he and his wife were in of Emeril Lagasse's restaurants in New Orleans and Gregg Allman happened to be there at the same time. Maybe Larry's wife (or Larry himself) had special memories of "Jessica," or "Melissa." (There's an original idea: Songs about girls.) Maybe these were not only songs the Allman Brothers sang, but also the names of Larry and his wife's daughters. I'll never know. I haven't had a chance to ride with Larry again. My snarky self wanted to say something terribly insensitive like, "Does this mean they finally caught the midnight rider?" For me, it's never "too soon" but I didn't think of it until after he'd already dropped me off, and I'd added a tip to the cost of my fare.

This missed opportunity left me wondering what it is about me that makes people like Larry seemingly want to tell me anything, or why finance representatives from Kroger want to approach me, a nondriver, about their credit card, with which I'd earn double fuel points...

I try not to be a dick most of the time, but I also don't have "Gullible Cherub" tattooed on my ass. Maybe it's in the way I present myself to the world. Maybe I smile too much, or it's because I have the genetic misfortune of being one of the few people 5'2'' Srinivas can look directly in the eye.

With all due respect Mr. Allman, I'll pass on your peach, and Srini, I'll pass on the credit card. Peaches have made me unreasonably uncomfortable for years, and my credit score has just risen by three points according to Credit Sesame. I don't want to mess with a good thing, and I've hated peaches (just peaches, not peach-flavored things) for so long, that I don't know how to function without the discomfort they cause me.

I can hear you saying, "How dare you to talk shit about the dead. Gregg was just doing what he loved. How many concerts have you given? How many albums have you released?" The answer would be zero and zero respectively. Before you label me as a hater, hear me out. In a strange way, Larry's random comment about Gregg Allman's passing brought me some hope. I began to think that maybe my irrationally strong disdain for peaches may be misplaced. I'm just entertaining the thought, I'm not ready to have a come-to-Jesus moment with peaches, and break down sobbing like someone who's just been saved as a consequence of a Mormon baptism, or just watched the end of "The Shawshank Redemption." I still need my pain, like Dr. House. But, if The Allman brothers can get away with creating an album called "Eat a Peach" where cover art is little more than a truck with a giant fucking peach in the back, and songs about girls like Melissa and Jessica when that's the last thing the world needs, maybe I can get away with writing this book. In the beginning, the odds have to be stacked against any song or book being written, or album making it out of the studio. If Gregg can do it, there's no reason I can't too.

My dad's name is also Greg, but with one g at the end. He was never a big fan of the Allman Brothers Band. Or, more accurately, if he was, he never admitted it to me. I don't have any memories of us bonding while cruising down the highway in his 1987 Cutlass that permanently smelled of cigars with "Ramblin' Man" blaring on the stereo. He preferred to butcher either "Witchy Woman" by The Eagles or "Barbara Ann" by The Beach Boys while behind the wheel. He never read Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach" to me. And that's okay. He would just ask me how school was a dozen times a day without even looking up from the newspaper, and then pose the same question (or tell my mom to ask me) an hour later as if nothing ever happened.

I do remember one of his, particularly odd attempts at father-son bonding.

When I was about eight years old. He came to my bedroom door at the crack of dawn on a Wednesday and whispered my name.

"Dave... Hey Dave... Are you awake?"

"What is it, dad? I have to get up for school soon."

"I thought I'd show you how to use the jumping boards on Super Mario Bros."

"What? Why? Er... Okay. I guess..."

I was surprised he'd taken an interest in me for any reason other than my report card. Even my eight-year-old self knew that was messed up. Still, I thought I'd better take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with my father over something asinine before I did something equally or even more mundane in the days to come, like forgetting to get ground beef out of the fridge so it would be thawed out in time for dinner. In most corners of the universe, this would be considered a minor annoyance, but in our house, it would be enough to cause Greg to pout (or do whatever it was that he did) for an extended period of time. If I did anything he didn't like, he would most likely retaliate by not speaking to me for days on end. Given my well-documented issues with timely flesh removal, eight-year-old me must've been like:

"Screw it. He feels sorry for me and my Mario struggle. The least I can do is humor him by pretending to pay attention for five minutes. He's seen me hopelessly bouncing straight up and down on those stupid jumping boards for weeks. I'm lucky he even lets me play Nintendo. He once threatened to ban me from playing almost as soon as we took the console out of the box since I threw away the receipt for it before we were even out of Toys 'R Us. (When I heard that Toys 'R Us would be closing all of its stores, the receipt incident came back to me.) I shouldn't deny him the chance to shoot his parenting shot. After all, he did play with my character on The Legend of Zelda last week. My guy's wearing white armor now instead of the beginner's green. He's trying, at least in Nintendo's 8-bit fantasy world. This means he can't be an irredeemably terrible person in real life, right?"

Well...

Disclaimer: My eight-year-old self was capable of deep thought, but I don't know if I could have spelled irredeemably correctly at that point in my life. That said. thirty-eight year old me thinks polysyllabic adjectives are sexy.

You're welcome.

I'm sure Gregg Allman brought joy to his fans, and no one should be disparaged for doing something he or she enjoys. The last time I saw the other Greg, his first words to me were, "Dave, I left my goddamn clothes at home." Not, "Hi son. How's it going," or "How 'bout a hug?" Nope. "Dave, I left my goddamn clothes at home." I haven't spoken to my father in almost six years you see. He lives in Indiana with his wife that he met online before it was cool. I don’t need all of the fingers on both my hands to count the number of times I’ve seen him in the past twenty years. To be honest, given both the spatial and temporal distance between us, if he actually tried to hug me or ask me about my life, I'd probably just run for the nearest set of headphones to avoid answering the question or feeling the awkward embrace. I'll take my goddamn clothes, thank you. Anything less would be obviously atypical and ineffective. I had no desire for a picket fence or games of catch in the front yard. I don't feel cheated because we didn't sing along together to Jessica or Melissa. Greg taught me a valuable lesson. Life's not fair. People don't always get what they deserve. They get what they get. Wait... Did I learn that from my dad, or a TV show? It's hard to say. Greg had a nearly thirty-year career in law enforcement and corrections, which meant he was constantly surrounded by people who had made horrible decisions, thus he had ample opportunities to pass real-world wisdom on to his sons instead of watching them soak up the Hollywood-crafted kind. Still, it's hard to take someone seriously who's biggest regret is never having been featured on COPS.

I know now that if you're going to be successful using the jumping boards in Super Mario Bros., you have to get a running start in order to clear the obstacle that demands their use, but I still don't know why strangers who drive me around when I request rides through ridesharing apps like Uber and Lyft seem to have an easier time opening up to me than the man whose roof I lived under for eighteen years. Maybe I'll never know. I think the difficulty knowing lies in the burden of expectation. Watching too many movies made me think, as a child, that my dad would one day come home and play catch with me, or at least encourage me to get involved in team sports. Watching too many Ohio State football games made my dad wish I'd grow up to be the Buckeyes' next great middle linebacker. Neither of us lived up to the expectations one supposedly had of the other, but I suppose the greater tragedy is not living up to the expectations you place upon yourself, or not having the courage to place expectations upon yourself at all. Sometimes, you just have to cut ties with people who don't want what's best for you, even if that person is a member of your family.

I don't hate my father, but he's a stranger to me, just like Gregg Allman, and the Uber driver who told me of his passing. All three men are parts of my past. Do memories twist, and fade? Sure. I hope that when Greg dies, I don't have to hear about it from a stranger, but I'm prepared for the possibility, and I'm fine with that. A coworker once told me that holding a grudge is like letting someone live in your head rent free. If that's true, may the floodgates of revenue open soon. I don't hold grudges, I hold stories.

Thanks for the memories Gregg. Thanks for the memories, dad.

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geek-gem · 6 years

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Sonic Forces In One Day

1:46 am well was trying to think of a good title. One that would make sense and did time change but just I've been thinking. I mentioned in my last post about Sonic Forces related stuff oh water eyes just drinks.

Mainly such as two okay it's 1:47 am now and I had ideas for two posts. But I feel their were so much and just...I felt like I needed to share the amount of stuff I was thinking. I was gonna make one after I turn off my laptop. But I feel I have to make this or some shit.

Including I wanna mention this. I thought of this I suppose hours ago. Because I was watching Knight Of The Wind he's a Sonic related and I seriously recommend him to anyone who likes Sonic it's been a while since I've seen his content. It's mainly the ones about Sonic Forces. I watched these I...okay I'm trying to be honest yeah if I remember right in order, "Where The Hell Is Blaze", "Bad Voice Acting", "Opinions And Controversy" had to go on Google and look at his videos list now, and let me look, "Final Thoughts Before Release" and it's no spoilers.

But during I guess maybe the first time also be being weird I'm like going to at his Blaze video and being all bullshit.

Yet I thought of this and....this I want it to relate to something I feel that happened. To be honest seriously if the custom character Buddy almost left Bubby something or a character I've been shitting on ever since it was first announced.

If the custom character.....Buddy in a way I don't wanna spoil Gears Of War 3. But this is what sparked this up. If Buddy dies and Sonic mainly modern Sonic is torn apart by this.

Including if Buddy does something that helps Sonic and the resistance but it results in him dying.

I was seriously thinking this music I gonna find it. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hW93CV6m-JU found it and went back to Knight Of The Wind's channel nice just....the last or just I feel during towards the end of the last video about his final thoughts. Even said in my head they helped me.

But just...during I guess towards the end I thought to myself that I remember now. Seeing him mainly happy he's excited. While I'm excited yet I hate the custom character so much. I thought to myself and thought I think okay....let go of the hate towards the custom character. Then felt like crying. I had a new Diet Dr. Pepper I have two of them finished one and was drinking that with the popcorn.

Yet honestly yeah and I even said I am a child when I pressed his username below his video.

Basically just....we are now officially a day before Sonic Forces comes out.

I should just talk about the game.

The stuff I've been thinking about. Honestly I even thought this and remember I've said this before this has been an emotional rollercoaster for me.

From being interested when finally seeing the trailer months later I made a journal about it on Deviantart yeah it was months later I wasn't in the Sonic mood. Then over time I got more excited even thinking I knew or hoped what the game would be about such as the third character not awesome oh head about that character. Then when it turns out the theory of it being a custom character was revealed.

Alright had to yeah tv back working this 4 hours no activity shit but seriously when it was revealed I snapped in a way. My excitement went very down. Then over time I got excited again including the villains trailer and Infinite with his theme song. Hearing now in that Blaze video from Knight Of The Wind again after months or some shit.

Then just it went up and down, and seeing more stuff. Even me ignoring the tag team trailer for I guess some weeks or I forgot how long and seeing the story trailer and being disappointed.

Now we have links and I made a post. Or two posts basically and me being upset and became in more favor of a 10th anniversary remastered version of Sonic Unleashed for PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, and PC. Basically all next gen systems wanted to be clear on that sorry oh head I'm saying too much.

But yeah just.....I've talked about this a bit. Yet not much on Deviantart okay I just thought maybe I should copy this and post this on Deviantart.

In a way basically no I'm sorry I'm talking about my experience of waiting for this game. I thought of this maybe two hours again or just one or so.

This I feel is similar to what's happening with the DCEU. It may sound stupid and I'm still kind of new. Basically what I mean is people praise Wonder Woman a shit ton. A film that surprised me and over time I decided to rethink my opinions about the DCEU.

Now Justice League is coming soon and ever since last year that film has been dealing with so much shit. Such as rumors, news that's fake and just seriously. Including just I shouldn't say other stuff. But okay the tragedy that happened with Zack Snyder and people saying Joss Whedon took over the film fully when he's just finishing some final touches.

A weird comparison.

Sonic Mania is Wonder Woman and Sonic Forces is Justice League.

While I'm excited for Justice League and hope for the best. Even if I've heard some good stuff about it. My head says random negative shit. I'm hoping the film seriously gets some praise. Because just I feel it would be for the best. Yet I'll give my own opinion and like it however it is. If I don't like it fine if I do like it that's good that's awesome. Or even a ultimate edition like BVS which helped me a lot.

Yet right now just Sonic Forces hasn't been dealing with the amount of shit Justice League has been dealing with and that's good. But it's not all safe. Basically just waiting and Sonic Mania being a great game. Despite the fact I haven't played it since my friend @fatpinkraccoon423 yeah gonna mention him beware of his account he's very gay. I wanna message on here and say something about Sonic Forces is tommorow like that Game Of Thrones winter is coming meme.

Sonic Forces is coming....it's coming here people...not sexually you can laugh it can be silly.

Yet honestly I haven't played Sonic Mania because of Flying Battery zone I'm just seriously don't like that final boss and it's the one from what I remember where people thought was Eggman's daughter or some shit. When really it's not. Also the fact I feel like I'm bad at Sonic games I can't be.

Basically even at times I feel the praise and some stupid praise the whole hasn't been a good Sonic game in 23 years which is bullshit almost left 24. I remember a comment not a bad one probably below the intro scene for Sonic Mania. About how Sonic Forces will really need to outdo Sonic Mania or was it a video talking about the bullshit reviewers wait. 2:27 sorry can't find it I even thought it might be a waste of time but its a good video on how it was bullshit the whole best good Sonic game in 23 years.

Basically just....I even thought this and which is why I mentioned I was looking up Sonic Unleashed on Wikipedia. I was looking at the scores and also did read some comments below those videos I mentioned a top. No spoilers good.

I adore Sonic Unleashed a shit ton. I'm one of the people who seriously likes the game. It has mixed reviews yet my feelings towards it are very positive. Despite scores being better for Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations. I personally feel Sonic Unleashed is my favorite next gen Sonic game and I remember the PS3 version the one I play and adore. That has 54/100 by I don't know who I just saw it on Wikipedia. I've even had thoughts of getting it on Xbox 360 but that's another story.

Including from some comments I read and seriously thumbnails nothing big but seriously people more it seems or just they have gotten the game early which sucks said in my head stop it. Seriously what the fuck I thought right now.

Yet it has some nice scores, mixed it seems and I'm thinking so possibly a bit, and it's flawed as fuck but fun.

I've been thinking just Sonic games. Even for games people won't like their are things I really like about them. Whether it's story or even gameplay or other stuff.

Including just that might as well happen to Sonic Forces the same way. My own personal thoughts like I've said no it doesn't suck seriously negative shit in head. It's gonna be my opinion only and I should not be affected by other people's views I seriously shouldn't.

Listen this is random post it's me babbling and rambling and shit. I even thought seeing Knight Of The Wind's videos might wanna check Sonicguru after school.

Including I have school on Tuesday I even thought an hour ago or so should I take a sick day yet if I'm actually sick or close to it. Also I will start to download at night.

Okay this is me rambling I don't talk much about the game yet it's me and I thought of this talking about my experience waiting.

The gameplay looks nice and awesome and just other stuff the characters and I said gameplay.....this just....might count but just...that custom character. Basically Tuesday is gonna be a day where character development of myself might happen....

Think I should say it almost left like it. But honestly I feel I might expect to like it. Yet I just remembered that idea of Buddy dying. Also found out about this Network shit from Knight Of The Wind and didn't see this video something of a character dying even though it might not be serious.

Yet when I thought of that whole idea no doesn't suck stop...said perfect in head. I thought I hated this custom character so much. But I get so emotional over this Buddy character if this idea happens. Then thinking I should of been a lot nicer and just less harsh no just...said it sucks in my head....

Sonic Forces is a game that's something I'm just....an experience. As a fan who's passionate about the franchise. Including just my first time waiting for a Sonic game with my own hopes. It didn't happen much with Sonic Generations because I was younger and just was excited. But when your my friend and you tell me my head almost left friend....but my mind being wrapped in head canons and just 4 years without a main Sonic game. We have Sonic Mania that's sweet man. Yet Sonic Forces was a game I was always wondering and excited about... thought cool in my head.

Honestly this isn't like Knight Of The Wind's final thoughts video where I talk about or just....I did talk about the game. Yet in a different way. Basically me being serious. Because I'm worried, being cautious, probably scared, excited as all fuck. It's been some very long months. Also a year I left the word gear. But a year since it's announcement said awesome in my head.

I think with me talking and shit I want to have the best and hope for the best. Still haven't put that heroes and villains theme on said said sweet in head. Forgot what else but....also don't know how to switch my icon just...stop with the random feelings.

I'm feeling both positive and negative about the game no it can't suck.....just....I'm very sorry this is very long. Because it's been so many months.

I just want a good or even great game. I'm being paranoid as all fuck my Autistic mind just saying and just waiting for this game. Including me worrying I've been acting like a child, I've been overreacting and paranoid about this game. Yet I'm still very excited for it. It's been quite some time and it's tomorrow where just can I say this too.

Seriously even some spoilers I've read. A part of me doesn't wanna believe them. They were from that streaming thing that the Sonic I think YouTube channel did. That it was the first half or some shit. I'm gonna experience the game myself and see what it is like.

I seriously don't believe some of the spoilers or I'm being stupid because I just seriously wanna play the whole game now. Which is why I wanna avoid many spoilers. Despite what people are saying bullshit it must be from that streaming thing from the Sonic YouTube page.

It might happen but I really hope I like the game. Might happen yet I'm just paranoid and this is becoming weird. Yet just.... Tuesday is gonna be a weird day I presume because I'm finally gonna give my first impressions on the game. Not a review I'm not finishing a game in a day. I should hope for the best despite what my mind says. Almost put I again but I almost forgot to copy this. Fuck it I would have to copy every paragraph fuck this shit man.

I'm sorry and got tags done. I just hoping I like the game might honestly seems like just.... I just this game got me thinking a lot. I remember I'm sorry of being in the tags. Yet just honestly I want the best and just my head....I'm mixed paranoid and hope for the best 2:59

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic forces #sonic forces custom character #infinite sonic forces #buddy the wolf #sonic unleashed #sonic mania

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