#i remember being a kid and going to whatever summer care thing my parents could find while they worked

[glossgojo]

he looks like he works with his hands (part 1/2)

pre-outbreak!joel miller x reader | 4.6k words

cw: 18+ MINORS DNI, AFAB reader, , age gap, ex-babysitter reader, oral fem-receiving, pussy drunk joel, manhandling, abusive ex-boyfriend, some violence, protective joel, panic attack, anxiety

a/n: alright listen up, i seem to have a thing for joel giving y/n head first and then getting his fill, that being said expect a very detailed part two :) this first part is mostly plot and some smut, i plan on making this a two parter but it might be longer

“jesus christ almighty” joel muttered under his breath taking in your frame from where he stood leaned against his truck. he knew you were coming to visit, sarah had screamed when you called and nearly given him a heart attack. you were back in austin for grad school, the sweet girl you were you visited sarah as soon as you moved in. you had babysat sarah the summer after you graduated high school and one summer of freshman year, but then your parents moved near your out-of-state college and you never came back. and now you here you were torturing every breath exhaling out of joel’s lungs.

you were dawned in a denim mini skirt and a tight short-sleeved top that fell a bit short of the suggestion of fabric. your midriff was exposed slightly, showing off your honey smooth skin and your legs on display. it would’ve been completely suited for the scorching texas heat, but joel felt his head swim as the clothes clung to your curves and your face lit up after recognizing him.

“joel! you haven’t changed a bit!” your cheeks flushed as you bounded your way up the driveway. joel had to clench his teeth to stop from looking at the bounce that wasn’t just in your step.

“that a good thing I hope? you look well kid.” joel didn’t know why he added that last part, maybe it was a silent reminder to himself that the last time he’d seen you you were just a kid, and whatever he was feeling had to go. he didn’t notice the way your expression dropped a little at the word, you quickly disguised it with a teasing smile.

“thanks and yeah don’t worry sarah keeps you young, well as young as you could be.” you nudged him, moving towards the front door as he huffed out a laugh and you hated the butterflies that followed. you’d been a little bit in love with the man ever since that summer. god you had missed his voice, rough and deep and somehow still filled with all the confidence you wish you had. joel watched you walk to the front door like you were visiting a friend’s place and he had to admit he liked the notion.

joel followed you close behind as he picked out his belongings from his truck. sarah ran down the stairs and you laughed a little bit as she jumped into your arms. joel had to laugh at the theatrics, if he had known better it looked like you were visiting between deployments. “you’re so pretty, how did you get prettier?” sarah rushed out, excited and barely breathing as she spoke. joel couldn’t help but smile when his sweet daughter looked so excited.

“well, i don’t know about all that. i was gonna say the same to you, you grew up into a beautiful young lady. my little sarah’s all grown up.” you brushed a piece of her hair back, just like you remembered she liked it. joel felt his heart warm a little at that, even if it had been years since he’d seen you, you still cared for sarah just as much and that mattered to him. maybe you weren’t the stranger he thought you were. you and sarah caught up in the living room, joel sat and listened interjecting every now and then with questions of his own. you liked the feeling of being with them. you were across the country from your family now, so this semblance of family was all you could cling to. you blushed at the thought that made you could raise sarah like a daughter.

joel had trouble focusing when you shifted in your seat, your mini skirt not doing well to hide the maddening baby pink panties you had on. he was sure he was red, but he could explain that away by heat or a tan if he needed to. you weren’t any better, losing your focus when you saw him cross his muscular arms.

“do you wanna stay for dinner?” sarah asked and your face pouted a little as you braced yourself to disappoint the girl. her big brown eyes clung onto every word you said when you spoke next.

“i really would love to and thank you so much for the offer sarah-bear, but my highschool friends roped me into drinks with them at 9.”

“have dinner first, you shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach.” he said it like it was a command less than a question, his voice gruff and your mouth dried up as you nodded obediently.

joel had asked tommy to pick up food on his way over, you hadn’t realized that since it was friday night you would be interrupting their family night. when you asked joel if it was fine for you to stay he leveled you with a pointed look, “don’t be ridiculous doll.” and you shut well up at that. doll. it wasn’t quite what you needed but it wasn’t kid. doll you could work with. doll would creep its way into your dreams and the hours before sleep when your core burned from need, from a hunger for him.

with that you sat down and chatted with tommy and he was just the same, hotheaded but kindhearted over everything. he spoke it like he saw it and tommy got kicked in shin by his dear big brother when he took one look at you and said “dam-“ you couldn’t even hide your expression in time, making joel snicker.

dinner felt normal, as if you hadn’t stepped through the door after 4 years. tommy had gone through some girlfriends while joel had remained single. you would hold onto that fact like the last hope for your sanity. sarah was in middle school now, she had troubles of her own. you listened to her gossip like it was your own, interjecting with your own advice, and joel couldn’t understand how you were so enraptured by it. maybe there were some things he just couldn’t help sarah with.

after what felt like far too short of a dinner, you had to make your way to the pub. you helped clean up with joel while tommy and sarah sat in the living room.

“do you need a ride?” you rotated the thought in your mind, you being stuck with joel in a small space. you’d rather not, after all your roommate promised that you had a ride home.

“i was just gonna drive over and my friend is picking us all up after.”

“alright take my number just in case.” you flushed at his words, he kept demanding you do this and that and because you were fucking gone for him you listened. it was his voice you told yourself, not his heady musk or his big brown eyes staring you down. you let him write his number down on a piece of paper and you nodded with a meek thanks as you took it from him. his hand brushed against yours it was so much larger than yours, they had calluses and scrapes on them. you had always admired joel for his work, and his hands showed exactly how hard he worked for his daughter. you’d thought about his hands more often than you’d admit over the years.

you gathered your belongings from where they were strewn about over the couch, joel had to hold back a groan as you bent over a little too much for his sanity. you said goodbye to tommy and hugged sarah telling her you’d be over more often since she wasn’t far now. joel considered asking you to babysit again but he didn’t want to detract from your studies. if you offered he wouldn’t turn it down. sarah was adamant she didn’t need one but he’d rather you look after her than his well-intentioned bible-thumping neighbors.

joel felt like he’d already crossed the line of friendly employer or even anything you two had before so he had to stop himself from insisting you take one of his jackets to wear out. it wouldn’t get cold but you’d be drunk and probably chillier than you realized, not to mention a small part of him wanted you to cover up when you went out. joel very pointedly ignored that incessant primitive part of his mind.

he did however watch until you got into the car and drove away, as if something would happen to you between the short walk over. your heart was beating as you left the miller’s house. you would have to shake joel’s scent and gruff voice out of your senses, you could feel them seeping into your bones making your head dizzy.

you needed to drink.

catching up with your high school friends was the distraction you needed. you had been in contact with them through the years but there was nothing close to being in front of them. hours ebbed and flowed as you drank and chatted. you felt a buzz but you weren’t drunk, your lips were loose as you told them how your high school crush had returned with more force than ever.

the drinks weren’t enough to dissuade the panic that dripped down from your head as your eyes landed on a familiar figure entering the bar. your ex-boyfriend had just walked in and your body went into flight or fight. your friends noticed your gaze and groaned as they took in your issue. your friend was speaking, their words far away and faded, only when they shook your arm did you hear them, “y/n are you okay, we can leave?” you didn’t want your friends to end their reunion because of you, if he approached you, you would just leave by yourself.

“i’m fine, hopefully he doesn’t recognize me.” you doubted it very much, he had tormented you for two years and took any chance to continue after you broke up. despite your anxiety being spiked you managed to make conversation with your friends, speaking quietly so as to not bring attention to yourself. it all became too much when you flinched when he looked in your direction. you were feeling more anxious than ever, excusing yourself to the bathroom to collect yourself.

as you walked away you broke into a run, scared that he would see you and follow you. instead of feeling better you felt anxiety wrack your body as you practically slammed into the bathroom. all your memories of your relationship flooded into your mind as you entered a stall and felt your breathing stop and your head rush as your vision blurred. you were having a panic attack and your heart was beating irregularly, were you dying? oh god, your hands shook as you pulled out the piece of paper joel had handed you earlier and your cell phone and typed in the number without thinking. it was now 11:30pm, joel was probably asleep. you couldn’t stop yourself as your shaking fingers pressed call

two dials later and the call connected, “joel i’m sorry for bothering you but could you pick me up.” you rushed out, your breathing labored as you struggled to calm yourself down.

“hey sweetheart, calm down, where are you? i’m coming over.” you felt tears prick your eyes as you tried to listen to his soothing cadence and his assured words. sweetheart. you were joel miller’s sweetheart, you could get through this.

“i-i’m at Donn’s, my ex is here im in the bathroom right now.” your voice sounded weak, you sounded like a scared little kid and it made you cringe, meanwhile joel was feeling anger rise at your statement. he had remembered how awful the kid was, he’d kept his thoughts to himself but when you eventually broke up everyone was happy about it. he was already out the door when you spoke, now he’d be speeding.

“i’m on the way, stay on the phone, what did you have to drink?” you wiped your stray tears as you felt your anxiety subside, joel’s voice and the distance you had put between your ex and yourself, grounding you. you babbled to joel, every now and then he’d throw in a follow-up question or a hum of acknowledgment, it all felt so normal you ached to talk to him like this more often. joel was calming you down, keeping you distracted, he was the only thing keeping you from another panic attack and you almost sobbed at that over the phone.

“hey joel?”

“yeah doll?” a shiver traveled down your spine at the pet name. you were so gone for him.

“thank you for this, i owe you.”

“you don’t owe me anything, i’d do it again.” you don’t know if that was joel’s southern hospitality or if he really meant it, either way you’d let that statement soothe you.

“i’m almost there, just pulling into the parking lot, take your time coming out alright, i’ll meet you inside?” you could hear him pulling into the parking lot rather quickly, you exhaled slowly as you told him you were coming and exited the stall. you quickly made your way to your friends, telling them you weren’t feeling well and that you would be heading home early. you told them that joel was picking you and you would’ve laughed at their reaction if not for the anxiety crawling back up your spine.

you waved them goodbye moving towards the door when your vision was blocked, you looked up to meet the eyes of your ex. your stomach dropped as your mouth went dry and you opened to speak, to try and get away but you were frozen in place. “hey babe, you miss me?”

“i’m not your babe.” you gritted out, trying to move past him when he raised an arm across your middle and you felt like throwing up.

“come on you’re still mad? i was just a kid.” anger bubbled up in your throat and your eyes stinged from frustration.

“get away from me.” you hated his touch, you wanted to scrub your body and push away the memories it brought back.

“such a fucking bitch, you still think you’re too good for me huh? you’re still as busted and arrogant as ever.” your vision was blurring and you couldn’t breathe, you looked down to your feet wishing that you could be anywhere but here.

“y/n.” joel’s voice brought you back to reality, you looked up, looking over your ex’s shoulder to see joel. he took one look at your watery eyes and crushed expression and saw red. your ex turned to meet joel’s glare.

“who the fuck is this?” you didn’t speak, your voice was caught in your throat but you took his distraction as a chance to move away. you quickly moved around him, standing next to joel as your ex turned towards both of you.

“let’s go.” joel ignored him, looking at you and trying not to break the fucker’s jaw. you could see joel was seething, his chest rising and falling and his brows furrowed in anger. you’d never seen him so upset, and you knew it wasn’t pointed at you because his eyes softened when they met yours.

“hold on pal i’m talking to you, you fucking her? she’s a slut don’t waste your time.” your ex put a hand on joel’s shoulder, trying to charm him and joel took one look at the guy before landing his fist square in his jaw. your ex dropped in a blink of your eye and you gasped as joel ground out a threat.

“don’t talk to her ever again, you hear?” your ex nodded furiously from where he lay on the ground, rushing out a yes in between a string of curses. you let joel pull you away, your ex crying out and wailing in pain as you left. you couldn’t think as you followed joel, his hand on yours. it enclosed yours fully, rough and warm around your hand and you let it distract you.

joel miller had just punched your ex and rescued you, you couldn’t think straight blinded by one thought and one thought only. you just wanted to-your hands found his face as you stopped in front of the passenger door, you moved quickly as you pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. joel’s expression changed from anger to confusion and then something else you couldn’t place in the streetlight lit parking lot. and then you felt panic as he didn’t look particularly happy with your actions.

“i’m sorry we can forget-“ you leaned against the closed door, removing your hands and creating some distance for him.

“no darlin’ don’t apologize, just wondering if you’ll remember this tomorrow.” joel could taste whiskey on your lips, he wasn’t sure he could live with himself if he took advantage of you being drunk.

“joel, i’ve never felt more sober.”

“good.” he took the hand that had been holding yours, the one that didn’t touch your ex and tilted your chin up, and your eyes met his. they were looked like honey and you wanted to swim in them. joel leaned his head, brushing his lips against yours and you could feel his facial hair scrape against your soft skin. it lit a fire within you. your arms came up around his neck, his hand moving to the small of your back, deliciously pulling you closer and you gasped into his mouth. joel tasted like heaven, just his breath alone was making you dizzy as you let him explore your mouth and make your lips mold to his. despite his intimidating exterior, joel kissed you like you were the only person on earth, taking his time to draw gasps from you and when his mouth moved off yours to dip under your jaw you lost your mind. your hands came up to press his head into the space between your head and your chest, as he littered your skins with kisses and nips. you whined out his name, your legs shaking as you raked your hands through his hair, probably leaving it as a mess. you opened your eyes to take him in, his lips puffy and his hair a mess, his breathing was as hard as yours and his big brown eyes had darkened.

“joel, please.” your hands were still in his hair, as you whispered into the fraction between your lips between sloppy kisses.

“please what doll?” did you have to say it? joel could read your mind, your thoughts written on your face from your cloudy eyes to your parted puffy lips. you looked wrecked and all he had done was kiss you. joel didn’t think he could hold back much longer, but he wanted you to be sure. you shivered as he leaned back, his warmth leaving you and his piercing gaze making you squirm. you managed to cough up the courage to speak next.

“come back to my place, my roommate is at her boyfriend’s place.” joel’s eyes flashed with desire, his hand shooting out to your hip, grazing the exposed patch of skin above your skirt and opening the passenger door. you shivered against at the feel of his hand against you, god you were pathetic but at least you could blame it on the slight chill of the night.

“get in.” you didn’t think twice as you turned to get in, joel holding the door open for you and feeling his sanity crumble when your damn skirt hiked up again. when joel got into the car you began to take in everything that happened.

“is your hand okay?” he’d been carefully keeping it away from you and when he was driving. it didn’t look broken under the city lights but you could bet it hurt.

“yeah it’s fine don’t worry.” he showed you to prove his point, besides some bruises on his knuckles, his hand did look fine.

“you, uhm thank you.” you couldn’t articulate just how much it all meant to you and you didn’t know how to start thanking him for every single thing he did. joel nodded at your words, not really thinking he needed to be thanked.

“if he ever comes near your again, or if anyone talks to you like that, you come to me alright?” you swallowed down, meeting his gaze at the red light. you felt heat travel south, the prospect of joel being there for you if anyone disrespected you made you clench your legs together. pressure building in your core, joel had to hold back a smirk as he watched you squirm in the seat.

“yeah i will.” your voice sounded breathy, your heart was beating so fast in your chest you wanted the car ride to be over so you could feel his lips against yours again. you needed him so badly your hands itched to find home in his hair again.

the rest of the car ride was silent, only interrupted by you giving him directions to get to your apartment.

you made your way to the apartment with joel following you closely behind, his eyes not moving from the view of your curves. you unlocked your door, throwing your pursed on your couch and turning towards joel, he took in your place. there were unopened boxes strewn about and minimal furtiniture but the place was plenty big for two students.

“can i get you something to drink?” you stood against the back of your sofa, looking at joel when he met your gaze. his stepped towards you, hands finding purchase on your hips, his thumbs grazed your skin and you felt dizzy looking into his eyes.

“just you.” confusion flashed on your face replaced quickly by awe as joel sank to his knees in front of you, looking up at you for any sign of disapproval. you nod, in a daze, joel presses kisses up your legs as you lean back on the sofa for support, your legs feeling weak at the sight of him kneeling in front of you. you couldn’t believe this was happening.

joel’s face was at the height of your pussy, his hands on your hips to pull down your skirt, and you whined at the feeling of his hands on you, moving you to his will. you'd fantasized about the rough pads of his fingers against your clit, scraping against you relentlessly until you unfolded for him. joel pulled them down in one swift motion and was met with the sight of your infuriating hot pink panties. “fucking hell these have been torturing me all day.” you found your voice moments later as you processed what he said.

“you like them?” his fingers traced the edges so gently, punctuating your sentence with a snap of the waistband against your hip, you gaspedz

“like isn’t the word i’d use but they definitely made an impact,”

“i wore them for you.” you were barely processing your thoughts before they were spilling out of your mouth.

“yeah? you’re flattering me sweetheart.” joel’s fingers ghosted over your pussy making you twitch under his barely there touch.

“no i mean it, i’ve wanted you ever since i’ve known you.” you were leaning into his touch, preening at the small contact, joel’s lips twitched at your desperation.

“god amn’t i too old for you?,” joel wanted so badly not to think that what he was doing was wrong, but when you looked at him like that he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. you should’ve been with someone your own age.

“joel please, you're the hottest man i’ve ever known.”

“such a sweet talker baby, that’ll get you places.” your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he kissed your clit over your underwear, you clenched on air when he called you baby. if he didn’t touch you, you might just come in your underwear.

“i hope s-so, oh god.” you whined out as he stuck his tongue out dampening the spot where your clit was, the pressure of his tongue on your clit even over the fabric made you moan. you felt like crying from his teasing, it was becoming too much for you. and joel sensed it as he pulled your underwear down on one swift moment, leaving you bare centimeters from his face.

“so pretty, angel.” you whined out, your hand coming down to intertwine in his brown curls, trying to ground yourself. joel tapped the inside of your knee, silently asking you to widen your stance while the other hand, the one he had just used to punch your ex clasped around the back of your other knee and lifted it over his left shoulder. you gasped at the spread, at the feeling of being so exposed for him but joel didn’t give you a chance to think too hard about it. his mouth pressed against your clit and you gasped at his mustache grazing your sensitive skin. on top of the maddening desire you had for him he was scratching against you, adding to your craze.

joel sucked on your clit, his tongue circling and stroking you until you cried out his name, he wasn’t letting you off so easily as his mouth moved south. his tongue licked up your folds, his mouth collecting all the arousal that threatened to drip for you. as if he was a dehydrated and starved man, joel moved impossibly closer pushing you against the back of the couch until it dug into your back and drank you in like it was all he had. his tongue lapping you up and delving into you for more, you kept giving him more and more and joel didn’t think he could ever have enough. you tasted so damn good, he’d remember your taste for days, for years, he’d let it haunt him as long as he could. your eyes rolled to the back of your head when joel decided it wasn’t enough, his other hand coming to raise your other leg onto your shoulder, his head now crushed between your thighs. your arms shook as you kept yourself hoisted up on the back of your couch. joel didn’t care, he wanted to drown on your ichor, he’d let you suffocate him if it meant he could continue tasting you. the desperation in his actions and his relentless mouth on you made you cum, your arms burned as they held you up and you tried not to squeeze joel between your thighs but you couldn’t help it. joel removed one of your thighs from his shoulder, watching you shake from the overstimulation as he lapped up your come.

“you taste like heaven darlin’” you couldn’t form a sentence you only whined out his name as you took in his slickness jaw and glistening facial hair. you were all over his face and you felt like crying. you removed your other leg and tugged at his shoulder for him to stand, joel used the back of the sofa to help him stand, crowding you against it. you looked at him desperately, you didn’t want this to end, you could feel his hard-on press against you. but you couldn’t think. joel was looking at you like you were god’s single most beautiful creation.

“are you gonna let me fuck you pretty girl?” his drawl made his words come out slurred as he whispered them in the space you shared between your mouths, he sounded drunk and you could smell your cum on his breath. you nodded furiously, your eyes wide and joel felt like you were the most willing prey and he was a predator. he couldn’t find it in himself to care, lifting you by the back of your knees and letting you point him to your bedroom.

NEXT PART ->

#joel miller #tlou joel #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pre-outbreak joel miller #no beta we die like men #rainism-writes

[adventuringblind]

Drive with you Forever

Chapter Nine: Find me at your doorstep

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader

Chapter summary: summer break is interrupted, Guenther is exasperated, Seb is a father to four kids who can't communicate, and the reader reveals an interesting piece of information

Warnings: kidnapping, medical abuse, physical abuse, drugging, lack of communication, throwing up, sickness, blood, mild gore, Jos Verstappen and his great parenting skills, mentions of SH

Notes: Listen, Y'all, this is probably one of my favorites so far. It's definitely not as comical as others, but it's dramatic and has some action.

Previous <-

Masterlist

She probably shouldn't have been alone. She got comfortable in the safety of their apartment. Her newfound willingness to not let her father get to her.

She shouldn't have left that day as she walked down the streets of Monaco. Pascale had invited her over for lunch, and although she could have driven, she wanted the fresh air.

It was stupid to leave the house, she thinks, as her body refuses to work. Her useless visions apparently don't show what happens to her directly, just what happens around her.

Now she's in a strangers car, her phone broken, and the energy that had doubled since her dad stuck her with the needle not working.

Her healing had gotten better, and she'd discovered how to make new things out of old things. Her visions are clearer and more consistent, and the telekinetic abilities made her feel more like a Jedi from Star Wars every day.

Again, it's all useless now.

~

"Has anyone heard from y/n?" Shouts Charles from the living room where he had been lazily lounging on the couch.

"No. Why?" Max pops his head out of the kitchen. It's grown on Charles to see the Dutch being domestic. He's protective of his kitchen and Charles being the number one threat is not allowed anywhere near it when he's cooking.

"She was supposed to be at my mom's house by now, and apparently, she's not there."

"She did walk there, so maybe she just took the scenic route?"

"But an hour late feels like a lot for that." The anxiety in Charles’ voice is evident.

"Let's not worry about it for now. She knows how to take care of herself."

~

Nobody had heard from her that night. Or the next morning.

The boys couldn't sleep. On the phone with anyone who might know where she is.

Nothing. It's like she disappeared off the planet.

"Do you think it's her dad?" Pipes Lando. The Brit had been pacing a hole in the floor, and both Charles and Max had made him slow down to breathe properly multiple times.

None of them wanted to consider the possibility, but it could be a likely option.

"god I hope not."

~

Her room hadn't changed. The small window is still letting in a cold draft at night. The only thing telling her how long she'd been here.

Five days. Five horribly long days.

The ties around her wrists ached. Her body hurt from being repeatedly drugged and tossed around like a sack of potatoes.

There were more people here now. More then she remembers there ever being at least. She knew there were people, men, who would come in and out but she was never allowed to speak with them.

For what it’s worth, whatever they were doing to her was making her stronger. She’d been able to transfer the wounds from one person onto herself. It’s keeping her captor at ease for now but she knows he wants more.

It’s not ideal and it’s painful. It’s like she can’t get past a mental block that will allow to simply heal. She can feel it somewhere deep within. She knows she can.

Bringing someone back from the dead however, that’s not healing.

Maybe if she’s able to bring back the corpse of her mother, they’ll trade places. Her soul finally giving into the peace of permanent unconsciousness. At least then her boys wouldn’t have to worry. They could move on without her. Find solace in each other.

Maybe, she thinks.

~

Sebastian is going to lose his mind. His daughter is missing and it feels like the only thing the journalists are writing about is how she probably ran off to be a slut for a different group of guys. He was going to have the heads of whoever wrote that if he ever sees them.

The boys had been staying in Germany with him. It hadn’t taken long for the authorities to determine she’s not in Monaco. They’d come here in hopes of reevaluating. Though they were at each others throats when they got here.

Seb had practically forced them to sit down and communicate. They started working together after that.

Hanna had been forcing them to eat proper meals. Seb made sure at least one of them slept at a time. Lando had recovered from four separate panic attacks over two days. Max is trying to look strong but his puffy red eyes give him away. Then there’s Charles; the monegasque had been blaming himself for not walking with her when he could’ve.

Seb had a feeling they were going to find her. She’s a fighter. The when part is much harder to figure out.

And for all their sakes, he hopes it’s soon.

~

Two weeks.

Two weeks of this nonsense.

She wonders if everyone is racing again. Or at lease getting ready too. This was not how she intended on spending her break.

She was getting closer to giving her father what he wanted. She was pulling herself to the edge of no return every time she worked in that rotting corpse of her mother.

Tonight, though, may be her only chance at escape.

They’d forgotten to drug her before leaving her in her room. The alcohol in their systems already taking effect.

She’d been able to slide off her restraints with ease. Her abilities strength coming in handy at the current moment.

Now she quietly is pulling out her window frame. It have never been sealed but she can’t help but feel satisfied when the screen pops out with a satisfying click.

She could care less how far the drop is. She’s two stories up with grass beneath her. She push herself out the window, her body facing the wall and hand gripping the ledge.

She swings herself outward and hits the ground with a soft thud.

Then she runs.

~

She had a destination in mind. Someone at the gas station she stopped at was nice enough to let her use their gps to see how far away she was under the guise of hers being stolen. Technically, she didn’t lie.

The walk to the Haas headquarters was six hours. But she didn’t stop until she got there.

Now she can’t help but lean herself against the front door, hoping someone notices her.

~

Guenther whistles a tune to himself as he arrives at work for the day. The sun is out and the birds are chirping. The definition of a great morning to him.

The familiar female figure slumped on the ground in front of the front door completely changes his tune. He quick to get her inside and find some fresh Haas shirts lying around for her to change into.

Once she’s awake and refreshed he sits her down in his office.

“Are you going to tell me why you spent the night outside the front door?” He sounds like a stern parent. She curls into herself. It’s reminiscent of how she was when he first got her when she was fifteen. Scared, shaking, and so quiet.

He’d known she went missing a little over two weeks ago. It was the reason the summer break had been extended. The FIA had been trying to get more security measures set in place.

“I need to call Seb, please.”

~

The boys were there the next day.

Guenther had taken her to his house despite her adamant refusal. The girl had been to tired to fight and eventually gave in.

It’s not long before she padding softly down to the dining room, halting in her tracks when she sees everyone. She doesn’t say anything. She can’t say anything. The boys don’t either. They don’t know how to approach her.

He led the four males inside and sat them down at his dining room table. “She’s sleeping right now.” Questions come flying at him from the three younger men. Seb shoots them all a look that says shut up and let him explain. “I’ll warn you that she’s a bit of a mess. Her father did a number this time around.”

after an hour of sitting, the anxious boys see the female peek her head around he corner. none of them know what to do. They don’t want to scare her away after what she’s been through.

Seb goes to her first. He approaches her slowly taking her in his arms. Then everything in her snaps. It’s just like when she had night terrors and was finally able to wake up from it. This time however, it had been real.

~

She spends the night in bed with Max. The house they're staying in lacks a bed big enough for all of them.

They had played a game of rock paper scissors, which Max won. He claimed his spot next to her with his signature winning grin.

Charles and Lando decided not to take a different bedroom and are curled up at the floor at the foot of the bed instead. Their soft snores confirm that they are, in fact, asleep.

Max holds her close. Every second with her precious. She'd been crying since they arrived. No matter what they did, she seemed to have a never ending supply of tears.

He'd been the first to assess the damage done to her body.

Diagnosis: terrible. He had half a mind to get Guenther to show him where the hell her father is staying so he can personally drag him to hell.

The cuts and incisions along her torso and chest are still red and puffy. The bruises that littered her skin are awful shades of blue, black, and yellow. Her eyes are dull with dark circles beneath. Her body seemed just as fragile as the day he first met her.

He felt himself slipping back into memories from years ago. Gentle touches so he didn't scare her, slow movements because she flinched away from anyone who moved fast.

Quiet until someone tried to say something mean to him or Seb.

Now she lays on his chest. Tears still fall onto his lightly colored t-shirt. And he finds himself wishing he'd have found her years before he met her, if only to tell her he'll be there for her. No matter what anyone says, he'll always find her.

~

Seb watches carefully as she picks at her piece of toast. According to Guenther, she hadn't been able to keep much down since he found her.

She protested eating anything, but Seb is a good negotiator. He promised that when she could keep food down that they would go home to Germany. Not back to Monaco yet because people are aching to get pictures of her.

"At this rate, I'll be old and wrinkly by the time you finish."

She shoots him scowl. "Aren't you retiring? Dosen't that mean you're already old?"

"Old is a state of mind."

She takes another bite. The taste could be that of a brick, but she's so hungry it would still taste delicious.

"I can't stop thinking about the car that got me."

"What do you mean?" Seb asks gently. She hadn't talked much about the whole ordeal yet. Little bits of information here and there but nothing to help him get a picture of what went on.

"The man driving the car. I knew him."

"But he wasn't your father? Or the man at your door?"

"No, he was older than my father and larger than the man at the door." She rubs her tembles in a struggle to remember.

"No need to think about it now. They're not going to get you again. Mostly because I think your boys might start a war if they do."

Their soft conversation is interrupted by Max speaking to his phone in angry Dutch. A clear sign of Jos being on the other end.

"je doet raar." (You're being ridiculous)

Her head perks up at the phrase. A familiar one Max uses with Charles when he is oblivious.

Max hangs of the phone in a huff amd site down with them at the table.

"Can you say that again?" She looks at Max. Her request odd to him, but he obliges. "je doet raar."

"He was on the phone speaking Dutch. He used that phrase." Her head gets a shooting pain, and lights dance through her eyes as she finds herself receiving the car ride.

This time watching scenes unfold in that past. This is new. Both with her and in the context of the situation.

She's in the passenger seat, and next to her is none other than Jos Verstappen.

~

Charles has never seen Max so angry. Which is saying something because Max is angry a lot.

The scene him and Lando walked into had been nothing short of catastrophic.

A female body tucked into Seb on the couch, the German attempting to get the attention of a specific Dutch. Max obviously is not listening and is letting the most foul things he's even heard him say about his father ring through all their ears.

It's interesting in a sense. The other three had never hesitated to show their distaste towards Jos, and Seb had managed to call him a poor excuse of a father to his face on more than one occasion.

There had been a time that Max had a tire malfunction and ended his race in the wall. Jos had gotten more aggressive then any of them would have liked and he is very lucky that nobody aside from Seb had been around to see it.

Seb has a sway with words. He knows how to make them stick. So when he saw Jos' hand land on Max's cheek, he didn't hesitate to step in.

The German gently tucked Max out of the way and faced the older Dutch with fire in his eyes.

"Didn't know a tire failure was deserving of a slap."

"This is between me and my son."

"As far as I'm aware, he's dating my daughter, which makes him mine also. Touch him again, and I'll take legal action."

It was one of the only times Seb had to hold Max comfortingly in his chest. Reassuring the boy that he did not deserve any of that even as Max explained why he did.

Lando is the fastest to act. His arms encircled around Max's body. He can visibly see him relax into the Brits hold.

"Jos was the one who took me originally." The female explains. Her knees tucked up to her chest, and her head rests on sebs shoulder. Charles makes note of how she looks more exhausted now the the last time he saw her.

The words didn't register with him. Not entirely anyway. It didn't make sense. How is it even possible that Jos is in kahoots with the devil?

It would seem they are both devils that somehow raised angels. Charles will only thank them for that, and only after he's killed them.

It's terrible really, the way they look at him. She is teary eyed and apologizing while Max looks clueless. And for the first time since Charles started dating him, Max is pleading with his eyes for help. The Dutch is clueless on where to go from here.

"Knowing that, Max, if you want to leave your dad out of this, we can." Mentions Seb. He knows that the way Jos brought up Max left him confused. His dad praised him and rewarded him one second, then hit him the next. It made thinking fuzzy for him, and since his father was never all bad, he told everyone that it was a good thing. He was attached to him regardless of the circumstances.

This was different.

"If he's going to kidnap my lovers, then he needs to be put away."

"That makes this easier. Know that my home is your home as it always has been, in case things get ugly."

Max nods his head at the German. Really, Seb had been his father figure since he was seventeen. Jos didn't have much say in his life anymore

~

After a third attempt at eating toast, she was finally able to keep it down. It was forced, and she had gagged multiple times, but it was still in her stomach after an hour.

They left soon after that, thanking Guenther profusely for , once again, rescuing her at her worst.

The perks of dating a world champion is that he now owns a private jet. They got home sooner than she expected because of it.

Hanna greeted them at the door and gently latched herself to her daughter. The relief coming in the for of salty tears.

She likes being at home in Germany. Seb had made sure to keep her old room clean. He even got a bigger bed once he heard Lando joined them.

The room feels comfortable and familiar. She's even able to fall asleep when she sits on top of the soft covers.

That is how the boys found her. Snoring softly, draped over the bed with her shoes still on. They carefully slip her shoes of and reposition her where she'll be more comfortable.

Then, they leave the room and shut the door behind them. Their conversation nothing but whisper right outside the door.

"Will she be able to drive next week?"

"I hope so. Maybe Charles will have a chance if she can't, though." The Dutch snickers. Charles hits his shoulder playfully. "I'm not sure how to move forward now. It seems like anything we do only prolongs the inevitable."

"We take it on day at a time then."

~

She managed to get herself to the race track. Driving may not be an option yet, but at least she was there. Christian wasn't going to let her drive until he got her physical report back.

Really it was Max telling him the truth about how she still can't keep down a full meal and is now dropping weight because of it.

She did eat some crackers and was fine. She's proud of herself for that one.

Despite Sergio driving the second redbull, she was happy to be back. The paddock felt similar to home in some ways.

The only new thing is that she's never alone. When free practice 1 comes around, Max dutifully places her on the pitwall next to Christian. She dosen't move until somone comes to get Her.

She feels mildly like a nuisance to them since they have to pay extra attention to her now.

She's stays in their hotel room the rest of the weekend until right before the race. Everyone in the garage is shocked to see her walk in alone.

All her boys end up on the podium, and it's the first time she's celebrated since she came back.

~

Three quarters through the season, and she's still not driving. Still training in more ways than one, but not driving.

She doesn't feel like she can. Her body is still physically decimated. She's able to keep down more then just toast now, but that's on a good day.

Her powers are at the strongest they've ever been. She's managed to learn more about self-defense in case someone tries to nab her again. But with that comes sticky note threats in Jos Verstappens' handwriting.

It's starting to look desperate.

Despite the state of her uncooperative body, she still went to every race. Attempting to be as supportive as possible from the sidelines.

It didn't feel as painful as when she felt as though she lost her spot the first time. This time, she still had purpose. She is doing her best to learn how to keep her family safe. That's all she could ask of herself.

All of them were glad she wasn't pushing to get back in the car. They all know about her aptitude for pain. Christian is amazed by how she's coping and fully supports her decision. Seb seems to be cheering her on in the pits even though he's the one driving.

She doesn't even bat an eye when Jos makes a vaugly threatening statement towards her. Because if she wanted, she'd have his head through the wall in a second.

She doesn’t let herself get comfortable this time. The nagging feeling that something worse is coming a constant in the back of her mind.

~

Next ->

Tags: @styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak

@chanshintien

#x reader #fanficion #f1 fic #formula one #formula 1 #racing #angst #max verstappen #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris #max verstappen x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x you #redbull racing #formula racing #mclaren formula 1 #charles leclerc fic #fluff #mclaren racing #super max #ferrari #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #lando norris x y/n #max verstappen x y/n #lando x reader #max verstappen f1 #charles leclerc x girlfriend!reader #red bull f1

[whole-circus]

Fun summer activities with creepypasta boys! x gn.reader!

➥ with Homicidal Liu, Jeff The Killer, Masky, Ben Drowned, "Ticci" Toby, Laughing Jack English is not my first language so i can make silly mistakes! >:)

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Homicidal Liu - gardening

Okay okay.. but he totally gives off this "plant mom" vibes!!

Just imagine you two planting flowers (eg. Hibiscuses, Marigolds, Daises, Asters, Salvias) or berries (oh god, and later making jam of them..!). Taking care of plants alternately! Because they are your babies and you need to take care of them, right? Almost like parents simulator. Going together to this big markets with plants and spending there literally hours..! Choosing these fancy pots.. OR! Making competition and planting the same plant, see which one grows prettier and faster! And what winners get? Silly question..kissess of course! Also sitting on chairs, having the view on your pretty work and just chatting or drinking tea/coffee and snuggling! Nights would be also cozy..just saying! You two sitting on a blanket, holdings hands or cuddling..dunno man, there is some warm and proud feeling when looking at your plants. Its almost like you watch your kids grown..

„Oh look at them grow! Im so proud of us Y/N” he says with the brightest smile, as his eyes almost shine!

☆ Jeff the Killer - forest hiking

Wild men in wilds? What can be better than that?

Listen, I am sure that Jeff knows forest like the back of his hand. Just you holding hands and walking around forest. You could also do a little competition on picking berries or looking for pretty rocks for eachother (what is more romantic than that??). Also! Maybe animal tracking? That sounds like a fun activity..! On really warms days the bathing in the stream (or just soaking legs if you are constantly cold) - he would definitely push you into water tho, so good luck. If you are behaving well enough, maybe you could even try carvings in wood? And after long, tiring day of having fun? Just laying on the blanket and stargazing, holding hands..

,,I actually had fun today, you know? I love being around you...” he looks into your eyes and gently kisses your hand.

Just remember to be careful and look for ticks after that!..maybe on eachothers body..? (just kidding..or am i?)

☆ Masky - campfire

Im sorry..but I would totally make him a nice marshmallow!

A bit of a dad on barbecue vibe?? Sorry, kidding. Just imagine a nice, warm night and you both sitting on tree trunk, snuggling under a blanket! What will you roast? Anything you want, veggies, meat or marshmallow..just not each other please! I bet he could play something on guitar, and what is more hot than a man that can do that? You singing along to campfire songs or..or whatever he could play. We slowly turning your silly little date to some slasher movie..so why not tell some scary stories or urban legends? You could jump together at the tiniest sounds (it sounds like a good reason to hold hands..just for security ofc). After all, everything is terrifyng in the dark. Oh, just you spending a warm night eating and cuddling..just you two together!..and maybe his bad dad-jokes..and mosquitos..anyways, good luck!

,,Only two of us..I could get used to living like that, you know sweetheart?” he says as he caress your cheek ad look into your eyes, smiling.

☆Ben Drowned - trampoline sleepover

I know its not 2020 anymore..but come on!

First of all..making the trampoline all nice and cozy..many, many blankets, lights and pillows (definitely a pillow fight in the meantime)! When the trampoline-fort is ready? Get snacks and come in! All kinds of junk food are welcome - popcorn, chips, jelly, candies..! Just not the healthy things..okay, maybe strawberries are invited but thats it! What will you guys do? No worries, Ben is definitely a funny fellow (so are you!) so you won't be bored. Playing games on Nintendo? Watching some movies? Playing board games? Just cuddling and laughing at the silly things? Its all up to you! ..Just be careful with scary stories..I dont want you guys to have a heart-attack! And after a night full of cuddling and laughing? The best part of your sleepover - putting cream to help relieve itching on mosquito bites!!

,,Oh man..you are my favorite person in the whole world..you know that?” - Ben gently whispers, giggling, as you hold each other.

☆ "Ticci" Toby - Monopoly night

Good luck..i hope you will survive this devilish game!

You and Toby treating it completely serious.. you know, getting all dressed up into elegant clothes and having the night of your life..or maybe even longer..Hey, you are serious investors! Monopoly deserves to be approach with respect! The other funny idea is just creating the background of character you will play as and trying not to come out of it! Anyways..you sitting opposite and playing against each other. If he is in a good mood, he will let you win just to see your pretty smile! ..well and maybe to finally end your endless game..

,,Ah you got me..you are the best Y/N, arent you? Now..what do you want as a reward?~” - he chuckles softly (if his pupils could turn into the hearts, they totally would!) as you enjoy your victory.

☆ Laughing Jack - making homemade ice creams

Yeah right..what is better than spending time with someone you love and make sweets at the same time??

I think that the whole making process would be way funnier than eating..but hey, how can you ever be bored with Jack? On the nice warm day, you go into kitchen and come up with this brillant idea - its ice cream time. You would definitely wear this silly aprons (you guys look so cute in them!). And even if you put nice music in the background, your laughs are way louder than it..the whole house fills with your happiness! Do I even have to say how much mess you made? The cooking turned into small food fight, the ingredients are anywhere but where they should be. No worries tho..after a long long process the ice creams turnet out great (you will not get poisoned, i promise)! Now you can enjoy your sweet meal AND your company!

,,You are so sweet doll..maybe instead of the ice-cream I should eat you?~” he chuckles and picks you up, giving you a gentle twirl in the air.

•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•

#slasher #slasher x reader #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #jeff the killer #jeff the killer x reader #jeffrey woods #homicidal liu #homicidal liu x reader #jeffery woods #liu woods #horror #headcanon #tim wright #tim wright x reader #ben drowned #ben drowned x reader #nina the killer #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack #masky #creepypasta hcs #tobias rogers #crp #fandom #creepypasta fandom #wholecircus

[nyrasbloodyclover]

summer nights (tate langdon x reader)

cw: alcohol, animal abuse (i am so so so sorry), tate being tate, tate being a simp for the reader and reader being obsessed with tate

a/n: i kinda want to make a couple parts for this (like tate one shots in the same universe if that makes sense?)

I was so bored. Ghost life was nothing like I imagined. In my head, I had a picture of it, something demonic, almost like hell after death. But it turned out I was wrong, once again. The afterlife was literally just walking around the house that I was murdered in, haunting it's halls and laying on my old bedroom floor while counting the holes in it. It was convinient because I could walk around in my underwear and not feel cold or hot—something death provided for you.

Well besides that, I had Tate. He was a seventeen year old psychopath who died in here not long ago, but I hadn't seen him much. He liked to hide and appear when you least expected him to. We talked, but not much. It seemed like he adapted to ghost life better than I did. And besides him, no one else wanted to hang out.

The new owners were some young couple with no kids, but a dog and they were annoyingly loud. They smashed the plates for no reason. They screamed at each other when they felt like it. It reminded me of my parents and I wanted them to shut up.

But I wasn't going to kill them. I am not a murderer. I still wasn't sure how to get rid of them, so I did nothing.

I was so bored one day that I decided to do something irrational. Well, there were no consequences when you are a ghost.

It was a hot summer night. I was up in my old bedroom, in a bra and a leather skirt when I heard someone locking the doors. I looked through my window. The annoying couple went out. Thank god.

I exited my room and went to the kitchen. I was curious. I don't remember the last time I ate. I didn't need food to function anymore, but... I looked around the drawers and finally found what I've been looking for. It was locked, but through the glass I could see the colorful liquor waiting, unopened. I never had a chance to get drunk, since I died in the midst of my teenage years.

I couldn't find the key. So I smashed the glass with my fist. I didn't feel pain, so that was convenient. It fell on the floor in million little pieces. I wasn't sure if the liquor was going to have any affect on me, but I didn't care.

I took the first bottle of whatever and opened it, not bothering to take a proper glass. I took a swing and felt alchohol burn my throat. It was relaxing. I always knew I would love it. I drank and drank until the bottle was half empty. I only felt light dizziness but nothing more.

"Save something for the others."

I turned around, bottle in hand, and looked at Tate's relaxed figure leaning on the kitchen doorframe.

"I'm not making any promises. Take it now if you want." I gestured at the other full bottles of various liquor.

"You know you can't actually get drunk, right? You're just wasting good whiskey." Tate looked at me, up and down and I wondered how he saw me in that moment. Dark circles under my eyes, disheveled hair, nothing on me but my bra and some mini leather skirt that probably rose up too high. I was too dead to be shy.

I frowned at him. "Well, it tastes good. And besides, what do you suggest I do to kill this boredom? I would die of it if i hadn't already been dead."

He laughed. "There are plenty of things to do around here if you think hard enough."

I continued to drink, swallowing bittersweet taste of whiskey from almost empty bottle. "So?" I urged him to continue.

"Do you like the new owners?"

I looked at him suspiciously. "Of course not. I would like to see them leave. For good."

"Great. Now listen..."

So he explained to me his twisted idea. And I agreed. Anything to get rid of the stupid couple that lived here.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" His voice was so calming. I was sure I would say yes to anything he suggested. I guess it was in his nature to be so persuasive.

"Why would I say no? Do I look like a dog person?"

He stared at me for a moment, mouth agape, not at my eyes, but the lacy fabric between my breasts. I cleared my throat. His eyes shot upward, "Yes— Uh, no, I guess not. Let's just find the dog."

I smirked as he walked in front of me. I had to admit, it was flattering to be center of someone's attention like that.

The dog was sleeping peacefully in the living room when we got in. I handed him the knife and stood by the door as he walked up to the sleeping creature.

"Ah, so you are scared."

"Not really, I just know you get off on murdering everything living and breathing." He smiled at me.

I wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing because his hand looked so good while holding that kitchen knife I had to stare at it for a whole minute. His ring was just a bonus. I had to rush away the unwanted thoughts about Tate that appeared to me once in every few months.

"You done?" I asked him.

Tate looked at me, a little blood on his beautiful hands, "Are you still bored?" After killing it, Tate dragged the dog to the kitchen and I followed him.

"In fact, yes. So I am going to listen to your previous advice," I chugged the rest of the bottle until it was empty.

"Do they have a record player?"

"Yes, it's in the living room. If you payed attention, you would've seen it." I rolled my eyes at him and went to the record player and saw a whole vinyl collection beside it. I browsed through it and smiled in victory.

Nirvana started playing.

I wasn't a big fan, but when I walked through the house in the middle of the night and Tate was still alive, I heard him play some of their records on repeat. I memorized almost every song. I knew he loved them.

I ran to the kitchen and smiled at him as he butchered the poor dog. It was part of his plan, but I never said I would touch the animal. His black sweater was drenched in blood. "We needed music. Now I'm not so bored." I opened another bottle and smashed the empty one against the wall.

"You really got the spirit." He mumbled while taking the dog's guts and putting it all over kitchen table and walls.

"And you really committed to it." I said while eyeing the mess he made. It was disgusting, but it was going to scare the stupid couple.

I could see he was glad I played his favorite band and it made me happy.

"Would it be too cliche if we wrote 'leave' on the wall?" I sat on the kitchen counter.

"Yes."

"Okay. Let's do it."

I waited until he finished his little art project and took the blood that was all over the floor on my index and middle finger and wrote in capital letters over the wall. I was hundred percent sure I wasn't bored anymore.

Then we went to the living room. He sat on the couch and I layed on the floor almost beside his converses. We waited for them to return.

Nirvana continued to play. "Why did you play them?" Tate looked down at me.

"Because you love Nirvana. And some songs really grew on me. And you have pretty hands. Like really, really pretty."

He raised one eyebrow at me that said Seriously?

I nodded and rolled over to the other side, away from him. Then we heard the door open. Footsteps. And then the horrified screams.

I wasn't sure who got out first, but they sure did leave. Tate smiled from the couch, revealing his dimples that made him look kind and adorable, even if he was diagnosed psychopath.

I started jumping across the room from happiness and Tate laughed.

I clasped my hands together, "What should we do next?"

#tate langdon #tate ahs #tate langdon x reader #ahs cult #ahs coven #ahs fanfic #ahs fandom #ahs #american horror story #american horror murder house #murder house #evan peters fanfic #evan peters x reader #evan peters

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Hello!!! First, happy belated birthday!!!!!

I wanted to ask you a question:

Would Draco care that his parents are obsessed with Harry's Darling Aunt? Would they convince him that Harry's Muggle Aunt might be his other mother or something similar, like she's the only muggle that's free of the whole "dirty blood" thing or similar?

Would he be excited about having another mum? Having close kid on his age to be his cousin?

I remembered when he was younger, as he was really looking forward to being Harry's friend. Quite excited.

Would he convince Harry that his Muggle aunt would be safe with his parents if they were in a relationship?

Because I can see a little Draco, pulling out the magical version of a PPT, showing an interested little Harry all the benefits his Muggle Aunt would have if she married his parents. From Malfoy wealth, to the possibility of being inside the magical world and being closer to Harry as he wouldn't be in the Muggle part of the UK. Being almost immune to all the "dangers".

"My father can take her to the parents' meeting every month at the castle!!! and then we could eat sweets with her while my father watches the boring stuff! The possibilities are endless, Potter!"

(Hi! Thank you so much!)

It would depend on when Muggle!Aunt!Reader comes into the Malfoy’s lives. If it’s early on, in Draco and Harry’s younger years, then he’d be more likely to accept and go with the situation without so much as a fight. As long as his mother and father said it was fine then it was. Now, if Draco was older than he’d heavily question them, not accepting or tolerating the idea. Either way though, Lucius and Narcissa would convince and assure him until he was comfortable or at the least able to bare with it. Their main excuse being that the Reader was an exception to the whole ‘dirty blood’ thing.

I personally think that Draco would quite enjoy the additional attention and love that Muggle!Aunt!Reader would spoil him with. As well as having a kind of friend/sibling in Harry. Of course the two would still keep up with their rivalry when back at Hogwarts but when they were home they were much friendlier, especially if the Reader really wanted them to get along.

Once Draco grows attached he’ll do whatever to keep Muggle!Aunt!Reader with him and his family. He’d convince whoever he had to and if that was Harry then so be it. Draco would emphasize just how much more well protected and cared for the Reader would be with his family. And it’s a lot more than what Harry can achieve on his own.

Honestly, I have so many different ideas for how Muggle!Aunt!Reader ends up with yandere Malfoy’s. They mostly revolve around if Reader got their letter and attended Hogwarts. After their time at Hogwarts the Reader comes back to be a teacher. They’re not only there for Harry when it’s his time to attend but also the other students in general. Especially Draco. Like, imagine if Draco came home for summer break or the holidays one year and is desperate to set up/convince his parents to be with Muggle!Aunt!Reader. He would definitely use the argument that they were the only exception to being a ‘mudblood’.

Another headcanon of mine is that when the Reader gets their letter and attends Hogwarts maybe they end up sorted into Slytherin (much to Lily’s horror). It gives a good excuse/reason for Lucius and Narcissa to end up interacting with or at least being around the Reader. Eventually the Reader gains their affections and the two excuse bringing them into their relationship as keeping the Reader as a pet but it’s really just a cover, a way to save face with the other purebloods. Meanwhile the Reader would be genuinely loved and cared for behind closed doors, spoiled with everything Lucius and Narcissa have to offer.

#yandere harry potter #yandere draco malfoy #yandere lucius malfoy #yandere narcissa black #yandere harry potter concept #yandere concept

[writteninthesewalls28]

Family

A story about a girl wanting to find out the truth

A/n: So this is the prologue to my first fanfic 'Family’ the people who follow my other blog as well probably already know the series, but I thought I'm just gonna repost it on here, so everyone can read it! It’s a fic with an OC and Calum Hood as main characters, but also has 1D (OC is the younger sister of Louis Tomlinson) in it!

Warnings: none

Everyone who is adopted always only talks about their great family they got from it and how caring they all are, but no one mentions the dark sides. I always felt I don’t belong there, especially on bigger family celebrations with the aunts, I was always the 'weird' one, the one who was ‘different'. I could do whatever I wanted, go to Australia for a year, study at Oxford so I could live my dream and be a lawyer. All of it didn’t matter, the things my siblings did, were more important, better. And then, when Louis went to the X-Factor and was in that boyband, everything changed anyways. Suddenly the media was interested in our life, how the superstar Louis Tomlinson grew up. At least they didn’t found out about my past. And then, I was the one, who found 5 Seconds of Summer during my vacation there, in Australia. I lived in Lukes house and watched them perform, nearly every night. They got better and better, especially Calum always had something I loved. So I showed Louis a video from them performing one of their songs in an old garage and next thing I know, they were on tour together and invited me. "You are so good at organizing stuff, come on, it’s gonna be fun!" Louis said to me, i remembered everything about that moment, and the look in his eyes as I said yes. Time flew by, I got very close with Calum. So many people, even Louis, my overprotective brother, said, I should tell him, I fell in love with him. In Phoenix, the time felt right. I told him about my feelings and we kissed each other, next to my bunk bed. It was so special. To me, to him, we both knew this matters, we are made for each other. And yes, indeed. Even after 5 years, we are still going strong, with him going on tour and me working as a lawyer. My work as a lawyer is specifically for children. I focus on anything that has something to do with family rights and love it. I always see how happy the families are when I helped them and it makes me forget how I felt as a little kid, knowing, my siblings will never be my real siblings. They never made me feel excluded, but I just simply felt this way. Even as a 12 year old I couldn’t wait to turn 18 so I could finally get to know my real parents, finally being were I belonged. I pictured it as a beautiful dream world.

As soon as I was 18, the adoption help center told me, they only got a few information from them, saying they live in South Australia, no address, no city, no names. I was devastated, but hold onto the fact that they are somewhere there. So I went there, just 3 months later, met the boys we and was too nervous to search for more information, even though the opportunity to fulfill my dream was right in front of me. I was scared. I was scared from the truth because I realized there was a reason, they didn’t want me, there was a reason they gave me away. What if they’re bad people?

But now, 5 years later, I know I can do it. I want to find out about my parents.

#maddys fanfic #5 seconds of summer #one direction

[crewmannumbersix]

ok but steddie/ronance dirty dancing au

steve and his parents always go to the same place in the summer, because it’s a chance for them to “be together as a family” but his parents are always leaving for work stuff, leaving steve at this godforsaken camp by himself

at least he has nancy and her brother and his friends, who have become steve’s make-shift family at this place, at least he has robin, his favorite staffer who has also become his best friend... maybe it’s better that his parents are gone so he can just hang out with her and nancy and the kids after all

and this year there’s a new music teacher, who all the kids are obsessed with and steve’s not jealous, really he’s not, but seriously the guy can’t be THAT cool, dustin

but then robin invites nancy and steve to a staff party and the camp “band” is playing, including robin, one of the other activity leaders steve remembers being named chrissy, and the new music teacher, eddie apparently, who steve finally gets more than a fleeting glance at and oh no... he looks so good playing that guitar and singing and laughing with robin and shut up nancy he’s not blushing oh no he’s coming over fuck fuck

and they have some awkward (on steve’s part), slightly adversarial (on eddie’s part) meeting and robin’s like eddie chill out this is steve my best friend and eddie’s like ugh rich people

and the camp band is getting ready for this battle of the bands thing at the end of the summer and it will win them a lot of money and they’re practicing in between their jobs, but then chrissy gets pregnant because of some jackass rich boy at the camp, jason, and oh shit they’re down their lead singer and they already only had one guitar and drums shoot shoot!!

steve was the one to find chrissy crying after jason was a shit, because he was hiding from the children to get just a moment of peace, a moment of not being a babysitter, and so he overhears the whole thing and is like.... i can actually play guitar and i’m not awful at singing? and nancy actually plays the upright bass, but she could probably figure out bass guitar cuz she’s a genius?

and at first eddie is like hell no not the rich camp attendees we can do this on our own but robin’s like, oh eddie come on steve’s actually a good person and surprisingly good at music and he’s offering to help and also i have a crush on nancy so this is a GREAT opportunity to spend more time with her please please

and eddie’s like ugh fine but i have to work everyday with steve to make sure he gets my songs right it took forever to make sure chrissy had the vocals down, and you have to work a lot with nancy to help her get ready to play a bass guitar and robin’s like oh no how ever will i survive....

and then eddie and steve spend all this time together practicing and eddie realizes how sincere and sweet steve is, how much he cares about the kids, how open he is to understanding eddie’s music, how much he actually pays attention and values what eddie says

and steve realizes how brilliant and fierce and brave eddie is, how he’s not afraid to be himself, the consequences be damned, how everything in his life should have made him mean and angry, but he’s just so kind and soft and full of joy

ANYWAY shenanigans ensue, they all fall in love, they kickass at the battle of the bands or whatever, and NO ONE PUTS STEVIE IN A CORNER!

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #robin x nancy #steddie fic #stranger things fic #anyway i absolutely do not have time to actually write this right now but.... maybe some day #in the meantime if ANYONE ELSE wants to write this or draw it i will kiss you on the lips (consensually)

[gashface]

When things are bad, it's good to remember the happiest days.

Hey guys,

Welcome to the final week!~ This prompt we wanted to challenge our contestants by requesting 3 photos, all separate days and just overall learn that last bit about them all. Before we get to the results, as this is the final week;

I will also be including the final results for the competition in a post following this one <3

Now onto the results!

Charline Morel by @cyazurai

“What are the three happiest days of my life? Oh, wow… what a question. You know when you get asked these kinds of these suddenly you can’t remember a single happy day? It’s the pressure, haha. I promise I have had happy days. Oh wait, actually, I know the first one! It was the day I told my parents to- well. I told them I wasn’t going to listen to them anymore and I was going to live my own life. They were trying to get me to apply to Juilliard or something, and I had no desire to go, you know? I don’t even know if they take singers, I never cared enough to check. Anyway, they were telling me I needed to stop beating around the bush and get to filling out my applications, and I’d had enough. I just lost it, and told them where they could go. I’d been saving up money to get out of that abusive household, and I just up and left that day. It was the most freeing, best feeling I’ve ever had. Sure, later I regretted doing it so suddenly because I left my sister behind, and I didn’t have anywhere to go for a while, but I didn’t regret actually leaving.”

“My second happiest day has to be the day I got my first tattoo. I was still just living off of the money I’d been saving from the allowance my parents gave me - rich kid privilege - and while I was looking for a job, I decided, you know, I wanted to do something more to stick it to my parents. In case I ended up giving in and going back to them on my hands and knees, at least I’d have something physical on my person that would rebel against their obsession with appearances. Though it did hurt and I felt, uh, a little faint. I don’t like needles, never have - but the artist was really nice and helped me get through my initial queasiness. I dated him a little bit after that, too, but it didn’t work out. Oh well.”

“And, well… my most recent favorite day was the day I got my first modeling gig. It was nothing big, it was just for a small internet store that was trying to get off the ground. Since they couldn’t afford anyone with experience, they gave me a chance, and I decided that being in front of the camera is one of the best feelings. It’s kind of freeing - I could be whatever, whoever I wanted to be. Maybe I’m just really narcissistic and like modeling because I know I’m pretty, but I like to think it’s just because I can really express myself this way. And I’ve never really been able to do that before.”

POINTS

ORIGINALITY: 10/10

STORY: 10/10

EXECUTION: 9/10

STYLE: 9/10

Dillion Carter by @mewo-ita

Can’t believe it’s really the end… personally, think the theme is real fittin’. For this one, figured I won’t bore you with the things you already know bring me happiness and I’d tell some new things bout’ myself. I’m gonna make this easier by goin’ in chronological order. One of my first happiest days was when I was just a teen— fifteen, specifically. My family had to go on a trip to Japan for work and at first, I hated it. But then I met this boy a year older than me, Suzuya. We were pretty close by the end of the trip and I figure that’s why he asked me to go to the summer festival with him. Who would I be if I said no? Even if Japan is still not my favorite place, it looked just gorgeous then; the yukatas, festivities, and the bright stalls. Suzuya laughing and grinnin’ at me when he picked me up to watch the fireworks. We still kept in contact, but even if I am not able to see him and Japan personally again— the pure joy I felt that night I’ll always remember.

For the last happiest day, I would say it was during my first ever job. I was a young nineteen and lifeguard of this one beach— it was honestly perfect since I’ve always loved to swim. It wasn’t a very serious job and I was free to wear whatever as long as I wasn’t nude and I had the colors red and white. So I wore my favorite shirt whenever I went to always get these girls that kept going out really deep in the ocean despite me saying NOT to go. Sigh, anyways, wouldn’t trade that first day for the world. Had the time of my life.

I was an absolute mess in junior year of high-school. So naturally I took up a hobby to distract myself from the drain of it all— spray painting. I was first invited to paint with couple of boys in my year that Thursday night and when the time came, I had felt so free. My first tag was horrendous since I’m not an artist, but the idea of just leaving your mark somewhere and the bright colors is so compelling. The adrenaline rush I got from it while ducking authority figures was also irreplaceable. It was reckless looking back, which was why I eventually ended up being chased by the police after the boys left me. But even then, I just couldn’t stop myself from busting out laughing. Despite everything I would never take it back. I would definitely call it one of my happiest days, and if I had to name that day, I would call it “Smells like teen spirit.”

POINTS

ORIGINALITY: 10/10

STORY: 8/10

EXECUTION: 10/10

STYLE: 9/10

Now those are some memories, and I feel like I learnt so much about the models. Thank you for the effort put into this week, I know it was a challenge but I wanted to see three different sides of your sims through their life. It was informative and I am so proud of the creativity you both have!! <3

TIME TO TALLY THE RESULTS OOOOO

Thanks guys x

- Buddy

#week7 #SHINE #week7prompt #ts4 #sims 4 #sims4 #week 7

[2n2n]

What's your theory about what the twins' mother was like after she claimed he wasn't the real Tsukasa? Do you think she abused Tsukasa or just didn't pay attention to him and was strict with him? We know well that she firmly believed he wasn't the real Tsukasa, so I doubt that despite the priests saying there was nothing wrong with him, she just forgot about it. I have a feeling she must have broken up the family because I'm sure she looked crazy to others.

well, Tanabata happens, and Tsukasa is simply there, and is not visibly harmed at the least-- he is apparently permitted to go out, and Amane himself is not too defensive of him, or acting like he's hiding a secret or anything. He has a nice matching Yukata with Amane, which must have been bought by someone (papa? Amane's own lunch money?), so there is that. In the other shots we see of them, Tsukasa is engaging in life like Amane. Tempering the impressions with this, while understanding the home life can be anything in terms of treatment... I would sooner suggest neglect than 'abuse'.

There's honestly too many possibilities, anything could be true. It could be that the Yugi's mother is sent away for some time under assumption of mental health problems, and their dad raises them alone for a period of years (and who knows, maybe she returns to the household only around middle school). Those perceived as ill would generally as far as I've read, been medicated into complete placidity and kept indoors by the family effectively quarantined out from society OR in a facility, so it could be that their mom is neutralized in that way. Or maybe she just went, I Do Not See It and went on not interacting with Tsukasa, or maybe she devised some superstitions to work around him, who knows.

I do suspect she caused the family to be broken up-- or rather, the family broke up around the issue of Tsukasa. I'm under the impression that their dad is science/education aligned, and their mom is more tradition/spiritually aligned-- so I'm not sure how he'd handle a fixation on something superstitious…

In this way, if dad is aligned to sciences, he might favor Amane naturally, and want to push him towards certain careers, futures, procure him a telescope, that sort of thing. Amane seems very upset at the concept of the future … he rips up all those papers regarding the moon landing … I think maybe Amane was feeling as if he was being guided to abandoning Tsukasa, who he wouldn't have wanted to leave alone with the family. I always wonder if something about summer break was significant, since the shinjuu happens just before. The boys do not live to see another school festival....

If Tsukasa problems cause mom to become ill fit to raise children or anything suchas that, it could lead to Tsukasa being resented in the household, even by dad. If neglect set in, then all the more reason for Amane to step up as Tsukasa's only diligent ward, and all the more reason for him to see HIMSELF as Tsukasa's protector…. more attached, more responsible for him, eager to accept and forgive everything about him, even as nobody else wants to have anything to do with him, even as nobody wants to think of Tsukasa's future at all. It could be possible (for dad) to provide the bare minimum of a place to sleep + a fridge for the kids, while not really being present … it could be Amane taking up the mantle.

I wonder what happened to make Tsukasa go from seemingly passive to whatever is going on at 13. Maybe after dealing with mom, dad just doesn't want to deal with it-- stupid crazy family, lol. Checked out, done.

Whatever the case, always important to remember that nobody is treating Amane's wounds, and nobody is reporting whatever is going on to injure him so. At the very least, at some point, NEITHER parent seems to care what is happening between the Yugi, and BOTH appear neglected. Were it not for Tsuchigomori, the wounds would not even be covered or cleaned.

Just my thoughts, though.

#avvy's JSHK

[ofherlionheart]

im doing this for me as much as im doing it for y’all lol pls enjoy … a like the sun ch 4 excerpt 😳

----------

They’re in the courtyard after lunch, catching their breath as they watch Piandao preside over Bishal and Manu’s bout of sparring, when Zuko’s mouth opens and blurts a question without permission: “Do you think my mother loved Ozai?”

For a second, Sokka’s eyes slide over to him; then he turns back to the duel and scratches the scruff along his jaw. “Your dad kind of sucks.”

“I know.”

“Do you think your mom knew?”

He thought about it last night, after they finished his work and Sokka ambled off to his guest room. He thought about how much time Ursa spent staying away from his father, ushering him and Azula away from the palace whenever possible, until they became too old and lessons or school filled their days. After that, Zuko remembers that she was always at Ozai’s side when she had to be—festivals and important dinners with important guests—but even those became less frequent as the years went by. The only other time Zuko saw her in those later years was when he was upset and would go running to her rooms, or late at night when she would visit him before he went to sleep.

Zuko supposes that he assumed that that was what love is: careful avoidance of potential eruptions. He’s pretty sure now, though, that it’s something different. “When Azula and I got older, I think she did,” he answers. “I don’t know about before. I took a while to realize he was wrong. And an awful father.”

“Okay, but you were his kid,” Sokka counters.

Bishal shifts too much weight to his back foot, and Zuko sees how Manu will disarm him a moment before it happens. Manu shouts triumphantly, and Piandao nods his approval; Bishal scrambles for his sword again. 

“And she was his wife,” Zuko replies. “I remember her being happy. I remember him happy.” He really does, in the strangest moments. He’ll be looking out the window when a breeze lifts the curtain and he’ll suddenly recall Ozai’s merry laughter echoing through the Ember Island house as his mother impersonated a shopkeeper they’d encountered earlier in the day. An off-tune pipa brings him back to when he was six in a teahouse and couldn’t understand why his parents kept looking at each other and stifling laughs until Azula loudly demanded, “Why does that pipa player sound bad?” and Ursa had lost it.

The memories are distant and hard to recall. But they’re there.

“Sometimes good things don’t work out,” Sokka says.

Zuko looks at him, and there’s a distance in Sokka’s eyes that makes Zuko pause. He gets a sense that Sokka isn’t really thinking of Ursa and Ozai anymore—could they ever have been called a good thing?—but before he can articulate the question struggling to form in his head, Sokka comes back to himself. “Why are you thinking about your parents?”

Zuko frowns. “I—I don’t know. I guess being here makes me think of them.”

“Did you all use to visit Piandao?”

“No. I came here the summer that Ozai made my mother disappear.”

Manu takes advantage of a misstep by Bishal again, and this time, Bishal bows his head in defeat. “I need to think about that sequence,” Bishal apologizes to Piandao.

“Visualize it before it happens,” Piandao agrees and then looks toward Zuko and Sokka. “Sokka, would you let Bishal take a rest?”

“Yes, Master,” Sokka says. He plants a hand on Zuko’s shoulder, squeezes, and then uses it to push himself to his feet.

Bishal comes over, sweat dripping from his brow despite the cooler winter air. “I hope you and Sokka were figuring out whatever trick Manu’s pulling,” he says, bending to brace his hands above his knees.

“We were talking about my mother.”

The ease immediately leaves Bishal’s expression, something taut and serious taking over, and Zuko regrets being so bluntly honest. This stay in Shu Jing has been a breath of fresh air for all of them; Zuko doesn’t want to ruin that. “When you put too much weight back, you leave your side exposed,” he says.

“Oh,” Bishal says before lowering himself to a seat next to Zuko. They watch as Sokka and Manu bow to each other, and then Sokka immediately springs forward to attack. “Does Sokka know she might still be alive?”

“Yes.”

“What does he think, about trying to find her?”

There’s a shhhhing! of metal on metal, and suddenly Manu’s sword is halfway across the courtyard. “What?” Manu demands, and Sokka laughs good-naturedly.

“We haven’t really talked about it,” Zuko answers.

“What do you think?”

Zuko closes his eyes. He doesn’t know what he thinks, because this, too, is a place where he tries not to think. He spent sixteen years loving his mother deeply, and now that the world is becoming a better, more peaceful place, is he not allowed to keep his affection untroubled and pure?

In any case, he has a nation that’s vying for his attention in a hundred different ways for his every waking moment. As Azula said, he needs to think of the future; the headpiece that usually weighs so heavily on his head demands it of him. He doesn’t have enough daylight for the ghosts that wind around his neck to whisper in his ear, or for the molten feeling in his chest that rises and churns and swells at the strangest moments.

“Excellent!” Piandao shouts.

Zuko opens his eyes to see Manu, swordless again, and Sokka bow to each other. Manu retrieves his blade and then heads for Zuko and Bishal.

“I am not ready to go again,” Bishal intones.

“I can go,” Zuko volunteers.

He can feel Sokka’s eyes on him as he gets to his feet and goes to where he left his dao. The skin on the back of his neck prickles, and he feels like he’s already sweating anew; in a sudden burst of frustration, he yanks off his shirt and tosses it aside before taking up his dao.

Sokka whistles, and Zuko’s grateful for the hair that falls in front of his face, obscuring the heat that rises to his cheeks. “Okay, Mr. Flamey-o, we get it!” Sokka teases, raising his sword and bouncing on the balls of his feet. “You don’t get cold!”

“Do not let the physical attributes of your opponent distract you,” Piandao warns.

Sokka squawks, his ready stance lowering as he gives Piandao an indignant look. “Distracted? I’m not —”

Zuko springs forward, and Sokka barely throws up his blade to block Zuko’s strike. “Hey!” he protests, even as he contorts in a way that somehow puts Zuko on the defensive. 

Zuko redirects his slash and dances out of reach, eyes catching on the swell of Sokka’s shoulder, the glisten of sweat pooling at the hollow of his throat. “Hey,” he croaks, feeling suddenly delirious, because watching Sokka this closely as Sokka focuses so intently on him is causing flames to eat at the edges of his very being, and he —

Shhhing!

One of his dao goes spinning out of his hand, and it’s all he can do to divert Sokka’s momentum against him and push forward again. For a moment, they’re close enough to breathe the same air. Sokka’s eyes are boring a hole somewhere in Zuko’s torso, and it’s here that it strikes Zuko, with the clarity and inescapable destruction of a lightening bolt, that the entirety of one of his favorite people in the world is somehow contained by this ordinary body of mortal flesh before him. How can something so mundane house a spirit as vast and powerful and layered as Sokka?

Before he’s realized it’s happened, his other dao is knocked out of his grip, and he’s left, defenseless, at the end of Sokka’s gaze. They can’t have fought for long, but Zuko finds he’s gasping for breath, wheezing for air that crackles like live embers in his lungs.

Sokka lowers his sword, relaxing his stance as he tilts his head. “You okay?” he asks, his brow crinkling.

Zuko wants to smooth out that crease with his thumb. He wants to fight without weapons, just bare hands and feet, because he wants to know intimately what the flex of a body resisting his feels like. He wants to run to the edge of this island and fling himself into the ocean because maybe then he’ll finally remember what it is to be cool and calm and balanced.

“I’m fine,” he snaps.

Sokka doesn’t flinch, but he stays quiet as he watches Zuko retrieve his dao. Zuko’s never realized until now how much Sokka just looks at him. People in the capital don’t look at him like that. In the capital, such a sustained, direct gaze is aggressive. It’s asking for something.

“Zuko.”

At the sound of his old master’s gravelly voice, Zuko straightens his spine. Piandao’s dark eyes pin Zuko where he stands, and while Piandao can’t possibly know the thoughts that are rushing through Zuko’s head, it feels like he does. Regret and shame rise in Zuko’s throat, and he turns to Sokka. “I’m sorry,” he says. “My mind was somewhere else. I am okay.”

Sokka nods with a smile, easy as anything, even if there’s something in his expression still scrutinizing Zuko. “It happens,” he says and reaches out to lay his hand on top of Zuko’s head.

The touch is brief, but there’s weight behind the contact. Blood rushes in Zuko’s ears. “Again,” he says roughly, taking a step back and raising his dao.

#writing #mine #like the sun inside of you #ik i've teased parts of this scene before #was the 'hand on top of head' moment inspired by a drama i was watching literal months ago? #who's to say #i love writing touch starved freaks #atla

[idioticsky]

Here's the product of me being sleep deprived

It was a cool summer night, a nice one for sure. The Jr. agents were having a fun night in, full of card games a movies. Everyone one was having a good time, well, everyone except for Vivian. Today was the day she finally became a jr. agent. That should be great right? Well, not for her, she promised the others that she would do a full backstory dump to them the day she became a jr. agent.

"So, about that bit of backstory Vi-" Adam said while picking up a few cards from the deck, trying to find a yellow card. "Are you finally comfortable with sharing?"

"Nope, but I promised you guys I would the day I became a jr. agent and here we are." Vivian said while placing down 4 skips in a row.

"Then spill the beans already." Lizzie said, adding a wild card to the discarded pile. "Changing the color to green."

"Or you could wait until you're comfortable-" Raz threw down 4 reverse cards. "Uno."

Vivian sighed and took a moment to think before starting to speak.

"If y'all want a backstory dump, then y'all better be in a distance where you can at least hear me, I ain't repeating myself."

--------------------------------

After everyone got comfy, Vivian started to explain.

"I was born into a home that wasn't that great. I was the oldest out of 3 kids, I had a younger brother, he was 2 years younger. I also had my baby sister, she was 4 years younger than me. My brother was the only child my parents planned to have, or even wanted. They wanted all boys but of course that wasn't gonna happen, they found that out after I was born. I could never figure out why they wanted all boys though.

"Other than the 'only wanting boys' thing, my parents also loved my brother more than my sister and I for another reason. You see, my family is full of government workers. We're used as spies because of how well we can read minds, unlucky for me though, I wasn't born with that power, my sister was but was never taken seriously about it though. My brother also had this power, but since he was the golden child, everyone worshiped him for having it.

"Moving on. My sister and I worked around the house and had to earn our own money, we got pretty close because of that and trained our abilities together as well. But, once I turned 8, my family finally had eniught of me and my sister and set us up in the foster system. I never saw her again after that... I still hope to find her, but we'll have to see."

Vivian started to get more nervous as she thought about what to say next. Hell, even where the story went next.

"Everything past that starts to blur, but this is what I can remember.

"The first foster home I was in I stayed at for a few months, they were kind to me. I felt wanted for a bit.. but before long I had to leave, I still don't know why. The next house I stayed at for 2 and a half years. I hated them, they neglected me a lot, they thought of me as a paycheck, I wasn't welcome there. They had a biological child as well. She was a little other than me so I always got the things she didn't want, like old clothes. I wasn't aloud to do much there, I had to either work on chores or school work, I didn't get to play games, I didn't even get to properly wash my hair. I had to pick the lock on my door in the middle of the night so u could go grab something to eat or find something to do because.

"I never had one person care for me, until the family went to go take a family photo at some old store. I had to wait until they were done because 'foster kids don't belong in these' is what they said. That day, for whatever reason. Agents Forsythe and Vodello were there. They helped me, saved me even. They found out I was a psychic and brought me here. And that's about all that happened before I met you guys."

--------------------------------

"I.. that is a good bit to take in." Gisu said while taking a sip of her soda

"Wonder why Milla and Agent Forsythe where doing in that photo store.." Raz mumbled trying to figure out why they would be there.

"Well, that's an emo backstory if I ever heard one-" Lizzie said while patting Vivian's shoulder. "Now let's get to bed, it's almost 12." The others agreed with Lizzie and started to get ready for bed. Vivian sighed a bit and went to get ready with the others.

--------------------------------

After most of the others went to bed, Lizzie went to check on Vivian.

"Feeling ok? You did just take about a lot so we don't want you sleep walking again." She started while standing in the doorway.

Vivian nodded.

"I'm good, just a bit worried"

"Worried?"

"Yeah.. I hope my sister is doing well, wherever she ended up."

"Understandable you are siblings after all."

"Yeah, do you worry about Norma like that?"

"Not too much, she can handle herself well enough."

Vivian smiled a bit and yawned.

"It was nice of you to check on me."

Lizzie smirked.

"Yeah yeah, don't tell anyone about this though."

Vivian nodded and laid in bed, Lizzie retreating back to her own room for the night. That night had been a good night, despite the story that was told earlier.

#psychonauts #razputin aquato #psychonauts interns #i spent two days writing this on and off #i dont know if i like it or not #but eh

[jackscharp]

Maybe I’ll actually post again on this second blog since I’m arguably more into Pokémon than I was when I made it.

For starters, my Pokémon journey:

Right around the time it got huge in the United States, my mother enrolled me in a summer camp. A kid there introduced me to Sandshrew, and he was so cute that I wanted to know more about this game.

So somehow I convinced my parents to buy me the Machamp starter deck. I didn’t recall there being any fire type cards in the deck, but Im sure I’d remember having learned how to edit decks so early, so it must have had them and just only the holo Machamp stands out in my memory.

Bringing your cards to school to show off or trade was a thing, so I did that, but my backpack wouldn’t fit in the lockers for gym class and so it was left out and some jerk stole my cards. (sidebar, you’d think I learned my lesson but someone got into my unlocked drawer at one of my desks at work this year and stole some Matchbox cars I had in there that I’d take out to decorate the desk; unfortunately I hadn’t been issued a key to lock them - and work stuff - up and this location).

I was dejected enough that I lost interest in Pokémon, and it was pretty quick that it seemed everyone else at my school did too, or at least they stopped being vocal about it. I don’t think I ever heard if my friend Matt got his Charizard he wanted.

Years later, Pokemon Go comes out. I wasn’t going to try it out, but my wife wanted to and so that was my getaway free card to nerd out. Our son wasn’t born yet so we had lots of time to hit up the parks, drive slowly through cemeteries, and follow the online postings of where to find Snorlax and Blissey and the Dratini family.

When my son was born, taking him for stroller-supported strolls through pretty parks with pokestops, gyms, and Magnemite and other nests became a weekly occurrence and was my preferred way to spend the days I’d take off every year for my birthday. Though my wife eventually stopped liking the game, he became old enough to understand and start catching for himself (though unfortunately that was a gateway to all sorts of other videogames and for a while it seemed absolutely nothing interested him other than screens, so introducing PoGo to him had downsides). As he learned to ride a bike, having that with me during those times was an extra plus. I even got the Pokémon Plus or whatever that first edition was called, to discretely fill up my inventory on pokeballs at museums without getting distracted by a desire to catch every Sandshrew, Magnemite, etc. I could find despite not caring whether I got a better one and not needing any more candy.

Some time in the last two years, I realized that the battles were less fun than they had been for me when they first came out and I found multiple types of teams for each league. Battling to win stardust to further power up Pokémon to hopefully win more battles so I could get stardust to… That cycle just wasn’t as fun anymore. It wasn’t long after that that I was rarely opening the game except for trips, to send Postcards to friends. Around this time I had also learned of the mobile game for Wizards of the Coast’s Magic: The Gathering called Magic: Spellslingers. I had never got into Arena and here comes what I found to be a more approachable mode of playing. The matches were more intellectually stimulating than I had found the PoGo battles to be, which is what I was missing from that.

I really liked that game but it didn’t last: Earlier this year, WotC announced that the app - which had little meaningful updates since like fall 2022 - was shutting down in July 2024. The Kotaku article that I read mentioned other similar games that have come to an end but also games that are still going, including Pokémon TCG Live. So: A free-to-play all of the card game, so an even more one-to-one upgrade in the planning and strategy I missed from PoGo, but still with the characters that I know and love, than Spellslingers had been?

So I started into that, and just hit Master League level in my second season. I highly doubt I will get to Arceus and won’t even try, but I’m glad to have gotten this far. I’m the meantime, I remembered that my friend Red had gotten me a Galarian Darumaka theme deck years ago for some reason. We had never played the TCG together - though he was one of my PoGo buddies for raids and we did remote battles occasionally - so even he forgot he bought it for me. Around that time I had come up with some ideas if I were to ever make a second deck, and now here I am planning to get my son the Pokémon Battle Academy from 2020 for his birthday and myself an Ampharos EX Battle Deck. I don’t be going to no Friday Night Pokémon or whatever they call that sort of thing on this side of the TCG aisle but I look forward to teaching my son this weekend and finally getting some matches in with Red.

I’m hoping there are some other Pokémon TCG Live fans out there among my MtG followers and maybe I can hear about your decks or favorite cards. I plan to share my two favorite homemade brews, as In not sure my minor tweaks to the game-provided intro decks would be that interesting to anyone since my win percentage is sub-50% (and in anticipation of that, my chosen slogan in the game is ‘The most important thing is to have fun. Winning just happens to be fun!’ Or something like that). Maybe you’ll be interested. If not, we’ll, I probably don’t need another blog time sink like my Magic one was at first!

[kaddyssammlung]

~Part 1 of my journey~

I wrote something yesterday evening...it was just flowing out of me. It is only part 1. Idk if that is triggering or could be. It's just about the begging of my aclohol addiction and how it changed. It's not edited yet also. I don't care right now. It's 4.am. again XD

So I already wrote somewhere that I was twelve when I started stealing some alcohol from my parents. I don't have much memory of it. It's curiosity that got me there. They had “Met” in the fridge and there were bees on it and it reminded me of honey. So I drank it. I liked it. That's moment you already have a problem. Not being disgusted by the burning sensation but actually liking it as a kid. That is weird.

My brother and I were home alone a lot. My parents were self-employed and they also had horses. After spending most of the day working, the had to take care of their horses, while I was at home taking care of myself and my younger brother. He is almost three years younger than me.

Since one was around it was easy to just take something. No would suspect something. I liked just taking a glass and pouring all kinds of things together. Not much but enough to make me feel warm and slightly dizzy. I don't remember how often I did that. When I was around 15 I became anorexic. The drinking stopped because of the calories. Here and there I had something but it was with someone else present like my parents or the celebrate something. In Germany (don't like that word...it's not the right one btw. But that's a different topic...it's Deutschland) you are allowed to have some alcohol when you are 16. Nothing too hard such as Vodka or something like that.

I liked the way it made me feel but I was scared because I knew there were so many calories in all of this.

When I turned 18 something inside of me came online, so the speak. The alcoholic that had been hiding. As soon as you turn 18 you can have anything. I would usually buy a bottle of Rum or Vodka on Thursdays. I was still not finished with Grammar school back then. So I had school on Fridays but I did not care. Being hungover one day was fine. That bottle lasted the whole weekend. Well at least in the begging. I started needing more on the weekends but I kept that shedule. When my final exams came closer I felt more under pressure and started drinking more frequently. I still remember my final English exam. I was so damn hungover. I had to analyze a text about Dollywood. Well Dolly Parton I am very sorry but I did not like that. Anyway. I made it through, got my grades and then what?! I had “the Abitur”. This means you can go to any university you like. But I was not interested in that. I barley remember that summer. All I did was getting drunk. When autumn came I actually did go to university. The city is called Bayreuth. If you are a fan of classical music then you might know this city. I don't think it is known for anything else other than Richard Wanger. Whatever. I studied geology and chemistry. Well not really though. I would drive there sometimes and hand around but not really participate. When I came home I drank a lot. The next day I would drag myself out of bed and drive there again. I went by train. I kept that charade up until February of 2009 or so?! That was half a year after school had ended. I told my parents that I could not study and that I wanted to do an apprenticeship instead. I was allowed and could start right away. The reason being that I started in their store. I've been working there ever since. I did get a bachelor's degree somewhere in between. We have a University of Applied sciences here in this city.

My drinking was kind of okay. I was able to function when it was needed and I crashed horribly whenever I had the time to do so.

#addiction recovery #mental health #mental illness #mental health blog #alcohol addiction #addiction

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Trigger warning!

Hello I’m S. Can I get a message from younger self? I have PTSD and I believe I was SA when I was young. My brain is foggy about that day, I only remember bits and pieces. But my question mainly focuses on how my younger self is doing and what messages she has for me.

This is a very important topic to me. Im hoping you could answer but if not, I totally respect that.

Thank you I will leave feedback. -S. Cancer. Libra. Pieces

Hi! I know this was sent in May. This summer was really rough for me so I got a bit behind on my reading requests, but I’m hoping that this is still something relevant that can help you.

Younger self of S, what do you want to say?

Hi, I’m scared, scared of the world, it’s so big and I feel so small, like I can’t do anything I want to, I know I shouldn’t be so afraid but what if I die or someone I love dies? I can’t handle loss. I really just want to play and have fun and be free like those other kids but I’m not like them. I feel so different that no one will ever understand me (they’re talking in baby voice but they’re very verbally expressive of emotions, this feels like this child is about 4/5) I don’t mean to be different (looking down and fidgeting). I don’t think other people like that I’m different but I can’t change either (frustrated) so I just don’t know how to be so I keep to myself and play imagination games.

My favorite? I like to pretend I’m an astronaut, I love space, I hope I can go there someday, the sky is so big and beautiful, I like my own stories I can create, I like getting to be all sorts of things. I wish I had more friends in real life but I have a lot of imaginary friends I talk with and they keep me company when I’m lonely. I feel lonely a lot. Mommy and daddy don’t even understand and I don’t want to upset them so I just be a good kid, play in my room, stay out of the way. I’m scared when adults yell and get angry, I’m scared they might hurt me and I’m scared of being hurt. I just feel so scared all the time, like I’m only safe in these stories I create, I’m happier there and I like it there so much more. I wish I really lived there all the time. (Seeing them spinning around outside in grass, to me it’s showing they feel free and joyful, peace in these places they created)

How can big S help you little S?

I want to be less scared! I want to know it’s all okay and we’re okay and that nothing bad is gonna happen. I want S to protect us, to be careful with us, to not do anything too dangerous, the right amount of risk.

But what exactly can they do?

Dream, daydream, let’s make stories again! We love stories, dreaming of all we can be. We don’t do that enough. We’re more about reality these days and I hate it. Because the world is so scary I just feel more scared.

Notes: what’s coming through is like your younger child is very anxious and scared, so I’d say stay away from the news or things that will scare and upset you, really cultivate peace and safety in your space so that you can help ground her more in the present, maybe write out the stories, what did you want to be when you grew up? Spend some time thinking and creating stories around this.

In terms of SA, that didn’t come up exactly. It felt like they are generally fearful of making someone upset so that tells me some adult must’ve been really upset at them and it scared them like they said, they’re really into escaping into fantasy lands which tells me they lack something in reality, it seems they feel isolated from their parents, like they can’t tell them something, and something happened that makes them feel different from other children, these could all be a result of SA but that didn’t come up because whatever the event is, it’s foggy to your inner child too so idk if they are too young to remember or if it’s that far back in the subconscious. All they know is they’re scared and that’s the main thing I was shown. They fear adults, and angry male adults particularly, that came through strongly, they felt shy but more like fearful not like anti social but more like just scared and happier with just being alone with themselves.

Card Pull—Chakra Exploration Deck

What can S work on healing to help their inner child?

It took a minute for these cards to come out, so I feel like this information is somewhat hidden from you, maybe by yourself or your inner child, but like these are deeply buried things to work on, more subconscious.

Throat Chakra— in what situations or settings do you withhold or dim your expression from fear of judgment?

Mantra: “I allow myself to be untamed in my impulses for expression and release the fear of judgement, knowing they have nothing to do with me”

Throat chakra healing makes so much sense with how much your inner child seems to not speak up from fear of angering people. You need to do healing work around speaking your truth to people.

Throat chakra— when and with whom do you feel safest to express your unfiltered and undiluted self with? What does this version of you look like?

Mantra: “I am eternally safe to express the deepest, truest and rawest versions of myself that long to be witnessed.

Love when card pulls confirm the channeling. Your inner child is so fearful of being who they are, I’m feeling there is some shame they carry like they are responsible for whatever happened to them. You may have some issues with codependency (aka, making other peoples feelings your responsibility). Can you be your must true self with yourself? At the least? That will help you see more clearly how you tame yourself around others. Notice ways you even perform yourself to yourself.

Heart Chakra— to what are you keeping your heart closed? What steps can you take to feel safe and open?

Mantra: “I keep my heart open, willingly and joyfully, to the full spectrum experience of life.”

I figured a heart chakra card would come up which to me signals unresolved grief. This card again confirms what I channeled. It seems you need to really work on opening your heart and creating safety within yourself to be yourself, aka try to heal your self critical and judgmental ways. That voice that criticizes you in your head is not you! It’s programming from others and society. Start talking back to it. That will help heal your throat chakra and empower your inner child. I think the more you speak your truth—hearing you should journal, just write and see what comes through— the stronger your inner child will grow and that may allow you to be able to unlock some of those memories, should you want to!

I super hope this helps you! Thank you for letting me read for you and for your vulnerability in asking what you did. I think it’s so beautiful you want to connect with and help your inner child. Would love to hear how/if it connects and thanks so much for your patience! Sending you all the love sweet S. Mwah 😘

#channeled message #inner child reading #inner child #childhood trauma healing #wounded healer club

[wakeup-awg]

See You Later | July 2nd

[Sophie | Alex]

 They were a few days into spending time home on the farm, his parents had spent a couple days caring for the kids while the band and Sophie were off to Mexico and playing two shows in Texas but now everyone was home and for the first time in months, Alex was without anyone of the boys and just spending time with his family. He was happy to be home and with Annie getting some time off to be with Zack, Sophie and him had their hands full. He could hear music playing in the house as he wandered down to the barn to take care of the animals. The sound of the music was slowly fading and he smiled when he heard the cows mooing and the goats screaming as he entered the barn. They were on their summer schedule, so they were let out in the evening to spend the night outside before returning back into the barn in the morning, just so they didn't have to be out in the heat all day. "Hi, oh I missed you all," he cooed, leaning over the stall door to pet one of the mini cows on the head. He soon busied himself filling up everyone's food and letting the animals outside.

Being back home was always a good feeling. It was one of those things that after busy days and tour that felt good. She was on her phone listening to music while doing some cleaning because the house really needed a deep clean and she knew Alex would be out tending to the animals and she had been cleaning up on and off all day in between the kids playing and making sure they were fed. Now that the kids were in their little play area that kept them safe She turned the music on to a shuffle when a song came on that she immediately began to vibe with.

Alex was out in the barn for a bit, making sure all the animals were alright, feeding and cleaning their stalls before he headed back to the house where he could still hear the music playing, knowing Sophie was still busy cleaning up a bit like she had been on and off all day. The kids were still up, though it was gonna be dinner and then bedtime soon and Alex would be happy to help with whatever needed to be done. He kicked off his shoes and washed his hands before finding Sophie by following the music. He heard a familiar tune blaring from the speakers and raised his brows as he leaned in the doorframe. "Where'd you find that one?" he asked when the song ended, into the quiet between the one song ending and the next starting.

She was just finishing scrubbing down the kitchen -- which was going to be kind of silly given they had to cook soon, but cooking in a newly clean kitchen did make her feel better. Upon seeing Alex she turned to him heading over, "You have to hear this song it's amazing." she said moving back to her phone and going back to the song that just played "I'm sure you know the band." didn't all the bands in the similar type to Alex's or at least know of each other? "It's so freaking catchy and ugh.. this is like my new favorite song." she said as it started to play again. "They seriously.. so good." she said swaying her hips to the music as she hummed along before starting to grab out the pots and pans they needed for dinner.

When Sophie saw him, she moved to restart the song and he chuckled softly, but also a little nervously as she began telling him just how much she liked it. "We recorded a song with them for Wake Up Sunshine," he said with a nod and after scratching his neck a bit, he folded his arms in front of him and started walking towards the counter where Sophie was pulling out pots and pans. "Need a hand?" he asked over the sound of the music and smiled a little as he watched her swaying her hips and humming along to the song.

"Feel like I should remember that." Then again they got together more when Wake Up Sunshine was releasing, not when they were recording. She placed them on the counter and started gathering the stuff to make a pasta salad. "Can you grab the stuff on the middle shelf of the fridge." she said. "I’m thinking barbecue foods tonight but first have to make a pasta salad and was going to fry up the pepperoni to make it crispy, saw it on tik tok." she murmured before the song ended and she sighed. "God that is such a freaking good song." she said again, "Like they know how to talk about a woman. It's like goosebumps." she sighed because what woman didn't want to think they were that important.

Alex walked over to open the fridge and with his head in that he asked, "all that's on the middle shelf?" simply because it felt like a little too much for just the two of them and the kids. But they never shied from having leftovers the next day, so he didn't really question it as he started to get everything out. "Oh we're making tik tok dishes tonight, alright," he chuckled as he started to move around with her, cooking and preparing while the song was pretty much on repeat. Alex kept chewing on his bottom lip a little and when Sophie once more commented on it, he couldn't help but just blurt it out. "I wrote that, you know."

"Yes it's just pepperoni, Italian dressing, and cheese right now." she murmured chuckling. "There's another tik tok recipe we're going to try too but not tonight." she said as she got to boiling the water for the pasta. When he blurted out all of a sudden there was almost a twinge of ... jealousy or something there. "What? No you didn't stop that." she chuckled. "It would have been on an album if you did you wouldn't have given away a song this good." she said shaking her head as she grabbed for pasta. "Veggie pasta or regular pasta?"

"You're watching too many tik toks," he said with a soft chuckle as he started to work with her to get their dinner ready. "I did. They changed a few things, but I did write it," he said with a shrug and when she said he wouldn't have given a song like that away he shook his head. "It didn't really fit the mood of the album," Alex explained, "so I had it sitting there until Andrew suggested giving it to The Band Camino, who loved the demo, so.. I knew they'd do good with it."

"Hey I like my nightly tik tok watch before bed when your busy." she quipped playfully. When he said he did give the song away and that they had loved the demo. "I'm kind of sad to hear that this was a song you wrote now and never got to hear you play it, or hear it fully finished." Of course she didn't know when it was written, songs could sometimes be out there for years. "Well they made it amazing." she said nodding.

"When I'm busy? I was out there playing shows, how about being supportive and watching me?" he teased, obviously just joking. He knew she was very supportive in everything that he did. He worked away quietly at the food for a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek before eventually turning to face Sophie again. "I don't really write songs that scream 'I love you' to actually put them out with the boys and have to sing them at shows," he said with a small shrug. "I was hesitant but they did really good with the song and I'm happy with how it turned out and that it found its place. Would've been sad to just have it sitting with all the other unreleased, unfinished, unrecorded songs for years and years." He was trying to explain exactly like he had discussed with Andrew when he first brought it up to give the song away. It was a personal song, and funny enough, Sophie still didn't seem to realize it was about her.

"Uh this is after you are done preforming and went out with everyone for drinks because you have serious fomo and I'm exhausted so I go back and watch my tik tok so leave my tik tok binges alone." she nodded at him. "Oh I know you don't." she laughed, she had had Alex sing songs to her, write her a song that she knew about more privately aside from the one time he played it live with her there. But he never was one to really do romance in a song, not in the traditional way anyway. "But it seems like it found a place that did it justice since that's not really your vibe anyway." she said. "Which surprises me that you even wrote it I guess." she said as she started to crisp the pepperoni in the pan.

"Oh it surprises you?" he asked, furrowing his brows slightly as he glanced over at her before continuing to cut up what he had been working on before. "You know just because I don't put them out, doesn't mean I'm not writing songs about you," he murmured, wondering if that was going to make Sophie realize or not.

"Well yeah, I know you're not one to put songs out there about love unless it's kind of dark or you know painful." she chuckled, "but I love those too, you know, they're real. "Oh you write songs about me huh?" she asked, not really putting it all together as she was cooking and easily distracted. "I mean I know there's the one you performed on stage that once." Plus it wasn't like she expected love songs to be written about her, she knew Alex loved her.

The full obliviousness with which Sophie replied and simply focused on cooking caused Alex to look over at her with an amused chuckle leaving his lips. "There's more than one song about you," he told her, but then focused back on cooking. He ended up going to check on the kids a few minutes later  when dinner was simmering. Walking back to find Sophie, he stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist so he could hug her from behind for a moment. "You still didn't get it, did you? It's very cute how you continue to not realize."

"there is?" When he said there was more than one song about her. "You should play them for me sometime, since you know.. they're about me." she teased. He left briefly while she started getting everything chopped into a bowl and tossing the now semi crisped pepperoni in before draining and rinsing the pasta and pouring it in and starting to mix. His arms went around her waist, and she leaned into him while she stirred. "Realize what?" she asked, "Are you mocking me?" she raised a brow.

He laughed softly at that before heading off to check on their little ones. When he returned and she questioned whether he was mocking her, he shook his head and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck as he felt her leaning into him. "Let me play you the demo of a song that's about you, yeah?" he suggested. He pulled back from her to grab his phone and it took him a moment to find the file he was looking for. When he found it he pressed play and his own demo of 'See You Later' started playing.

A smile played on her lips when he offered to play a demo for her of a song that was about her. "Okay." she murmured as she grabbed her glass of wine and took a sip. When the demo started playing it was a bit different, obviously, some lyrics changed, chords different, the vibe of the song different but it was the song she had just been listening to as she turned around. "Wait.. See You Later is about me?" she asked, "I take it back by the way, it sounds much better in your voice." she said moving and wrapping her arms around his shoulder and kissing him on the lips.

Alex moved over to lean against the counter island, looking through his phone until he found the demo he wanted to play for her and a small grin was spread on his lips as he watched Sophie listen to it when he had finally found it. "I was trying to hint at that the whole time," he teased as her arms came wrapping around his shoulders, "but yeah.. It's about you. Who else would it be about?" A soft chuckle before her lips caught his in a soft kiss.

"I mean I don't know." she said, "You could have had a demo sitting out there for years that had nothing to do with me. Could have been about Lisa, or..." she frowned as another name passed her mind and she was sure that he could figure out who she was thinking by the immediate face drop before recovering. "So how am I to know you had this more recently and not sitting around for five years or something?" she murmured. "I can't go assuming any song you do write about love is about me."

Alex rolled his eyes a little bit and then sighed when he saw her face drop a little bit. "I wrote it while we were working on the album. Or around that general time.. I think it was shortly after you did all these interviews, and made me dress up with you for the Met Gala," he explained.

There was a short chuckle when he said it was sometime between interviews and dressing up with the Met Gala. She smiled, "I love you." she murmured. "And I'm glad you did write a song about me, or at least one of them. I think it would have been better done by you." she murmured because it was true in her opinion because it meant something to her. "But I'm glad that it's about me."

"I knew we weren't gonna put it out," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "So it was either left a demo or ending up out there the way it did. I'm glad it's out there, and I think it's pretty cool that you've found and liked the song all by yourself, without knowing it's about you. You know, makes me feel like you actually, genuinely enjoy it." He did trust Sophie to tell him if she didn't like any of the stuff he did creatively, but he also knew there was just a different ring to it knowing a song is about you. "Food should be ready soon, right? Want me to get the kids ready to sit down and eat? It's quiet over there, so if we're lucky they're actually all happily playing."

"I mean I'm glad you were willing to give it up, even if it's a song about me and that you're going to have sex with me." she pointed out to him grinning. "So now someone else can sing about hot sex with Sophie turner." she smirked at him knowing that he wouldn't love that now that she had put it in his head. But she did love the song. "Dinners almost done, and they're either happily playing or getting into big trouble"

Of course he scrunched up his nose at that. "Well for the record nobody else knows it's about you, alright? So nobody's actually thinking it's about having sex with you, so it doesn't even count that way," he argued. He made it a point to lean in for a kiss before he pulled back from her and let her go back to cooking while he wandered off to the living room where the kids had been not getting in trouble just a mere ten, maybe fifteen minutes earlier. He braved himself for what they may have gotten up to but he for sure did not expect to walk in on Willa holding a leash and Noah happily babbling while on said leash. Avery was sitting near the table, crouched over Peyton who looked at Alex like he was silently begging for help. "Willa, your brother's not a dog… and Peyton's not a pillow, or bed," he said with an amused shake of his head and walked over to pick Avery up who, sleepily as she already was, happily snuggled into his chest while he turned his attention back to the other two little ones. It took him a moment to get the leash off and away and both of them following him into the kitchen and to the dining area. "Turns out Willa decided to take Noah for a walk.."

"I mean if you told them it's a demo you recently did then I'm sure they could put two and two together about who you'd be talking about, unless you want them thinking you're talking about some other girl.' she challenged a grin tugging at her lips. The kiss was pointed in making sure she knew what he was talking about. She was getting dinner into bowls and putting them onto the table to get everything ready. She was just finishing putting out the plates and everything they would need and bringing all the kids chairs over to the table to start putting food on their plate when she looked up seeing their two oldest, their almost three and two year old toddling after Alex. "What do you mean take him for a walk? She was helping him walk? He's been doing good at walking for awhile now?' she furrowed her brows glancing up at Alex who had Avery tucked into him. "We should get her fed and then to bed, she looks like she's about to fall asleep on you."

"I do not plan on telling them it's a demo I did, they're gonna be a pain about wanting that demo leaked," he said with a quick shake of his head. "No, this is for you to know and listen to, and that's it, alright?" he said before heading for the living room and returning a moment later with their three little ones. "Oh no, he's fine walking. I mean a walk, like you take a dog for a walk? Had him on a leash and all. They looked ready to go out and be off," he chuckled. "Are you tired?" he asked softly with a glance at Avery and he smiled when she just looked at him with big eyes. "Let's get you something to eat first, okay? Then you can sleep," he cooed softly and walked over to get her in her seat. Willa was already climbing onto hers since she had noticed the food and Noah held his arms out to Sophie so she'd help him up.

“Mmm well I can always say in an interview my husband wrote a very erotic song about me but another band sings it to set them all crazy.” Of course she dropped the word husband on purpose to see his reaction. “Oh she had him on a leash? Great. Those will have to be put up higher we don’t need her accidentally strangling her brother.” She said. “Willa we don’t walk our siblings.” The little girl more about the food then anything Sophie was saying as she scooped up Noah. “You good little man?” She cuddled him to her for a moment before strapping him in and the same with Willa and handing them their plates and them immediately digging in.

Years or months ago Alex would have possibly flinched at the mention of that, or argued that they weren't even married currently, but he just shook his head this time. "And then they'd bug you about which song it is and then the whole spiral for the demo is gonna start and we're left with the very same issue, do you want that?" He chuckled softly and stuck his tongue out at her. "Just take the demo and be happy with it, alright?" he laughed softly. They got the kids settled in their seats and Noah and Willa immediately dug in. Avery was hesitant, much like she always was but it took a little encouraging before she was munching away too. "She didn't put it around his neck thankfully, it was more around his waist and he seemed very excited to be taken out," Alex joked as he himself sat down. "Avery used Peyton as a pillow.."

“I mean it could be funny. Amusing for me. But it just tells me you love those short dresses on me after all.” She teased. “But I’ll take the demo. For now”. Though it was only a joke she wasn’t going to do anything. “Yes well I think still putting them up is better for everyone’s safety.” She said as she smiled. “She’s such a tired girl and I’m sure Peyton didn’t really mind.” She murmured. “I’m glad she’s starting to eat more. Even if she needs to still be nursed she loves potatoes, pasta, and a few other things now which makes me happy.

He let out an almost grunt at that, but he couldn't really argue now, could he? "We can put them higher up," he agreed with a nod as he picked out some of the food in front of Avery to make sure she tried it and when she did, he leaned back in his own chair again to dig in himself. "To be fair there was never any real doubt she was gonna not like pasta," he said with a grin, obviously because of how much Sophie loved it, the kids were bound to like it too. "Yeah, it is good to see her eating," he said with a smile.

Sophie was digging in now and all the kids happily eating away. “I mean no if she takes after me she will love pasta and she seems to really like the pasta salad with the bits of cheese and everything.” Pointing to her picking up piece by piece. “I mean I’ll officially stop nursing Noah next month when he turns two for night time but do you think I’m horrible that I didn’t nurse Willa as long as him?” He had seemed to need it that extra comfort. Willa has gone right for food and never looked back.

Alex forked up a bit of the pasta salad to take a bit and listened to Sophie. "No, why would that make you a horrible person? I think Willa very happily focused on the food and didn't care as much about being nursed, which is totally fine. Noah wanted more time and I really don't think there's anything wrong with that," he said with a shrug. Who was anyone to judge anyway?

“Because I only nursed her till she was six months old. Noah till he turns two and my guess probably the same for Avery since she is very very slowly coming around to foods.” She pointed out. “I don’t want her to think I didn’t love her as much or anything.” Which she knew every child was different. “I mean I know nursing is appropriate up to like age of three I just would like my breasts to be mine again someday.” She laughed. “And now be a permanent dairy cow” which sometimes definitely how she felt.

"All the kids are different, babe. There's nothing wrong with not nursing one as long as the other. Willa wasn't interested in being nursed anymore the second she found food tasted good. Noah's different and that's perfectly okay and has nothing at all to do with how much you love them. He took another bite of food and then glanced over at her, giving her a look and a smirk, indicated that maybe sometimes her breasts would be his to touch too, but that didn't have to be spelled out in front of the kids.

“I know just sometimes I feel bad like I didn’t bond enough with her compared to what I am with these two.” She murmured. But she knew Willa had lead by weaning herself. she had wanted food over milk. When he smirked she rolled her eyes, “yeah put that smirk away if I nurse Avery till two I have another year and you may not get them for a little while afterwards so I can have them selfishly to myself.” Which wasn’t true but she liked to tease.

"I think you just bonded differently with her," Alex said. "There's different ways to bond after all, I mean I don't get to bond by nursing," he teased a little bit. "I'll let you have them all to yourself if you can, in all honesty, tell me you don't want to share with me at all," he grinned at her before focusing more on his food, soon finishing and reaching over to help their kids.

"I know plus she was biting by the time we stopped, Noah and Avery haven't really done that. I mean a little bit teeth grazing but not like she full on bit." chuckling remembering but back then it hadn't been fun. Giving a roll of her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, shut up with that grin." she murmured taking another bite. "Aw she's almost fallen asleep." Avery's little head dropped with food in her hand. "Alright let me go get her cleaned up and to bed. If you want to wrangle in these two. Though I think Willa wants a little more, tell her to wait we have dessert she'll love a mini vanilla cupcake."

Alex laughed when she told him to shut up because he knew exactly what that meant. Looking over he saw Avery almost falling asleep while holding her food and soon Sophie was up to put her to bed. Willa had perked up when her mother mentioned dessert and was now wiggling in her seat asking for cupcakes. "Patient, princess. Momma's gonna be back soon then you will get cupcakes."

Picking the little girl up she cleaned out her little fists. She wiped them out with a little cloth Avery’s little head nuzzling against her as she got her resting against her before she headed upstairs to change her diaper and then into a light little pair of pyjamas. Once she had her tucked in she shut off the light and tip toed out. Coming back downstairs Willa was now whining almost angrily for cupcakes. “Okay ma’am if you don’t calm down no cupcake for you.” She didn’t want Willa to become demanding. “Okay help me get them out and run around before the treat.”

Alex cleaned up the table and Noah and Willa a bit while Sophie was upstairs with Avery. He told Willa to be patient but the little girl didn't really like that idea yet. "Alright, come here," he murmured, picking the girl up out of her seat when she only so much as puckered out her lower lip in a pout. "Don't pout, princess. You'll get your sweet."

#para;xsophsturns #{see you later} #{pgraphs}

[4sh7lee]

Find me in the lost and found section

On the cold dawn of December 21, 2004, I was born with the same black wavy hair as my mom and brown skin as my father. My mother has considered me her birthday gift since I was born the day before her 30th birthday. She named me after her friend’s daughter, Ashley, but she changed the y to letter e. Marika was a name I used to dislike not until a friend changed my perception. I believe it fits me more than Ashlee, it may sound weird, but Marika is the star of the sea; beloved; bitter; rebellious. When I was a kid, I believed I was not rebellious because, with just one glance of my mother at me, I would quickly stop whatever I was doing or saying because it indicates that my behavior is inappropriate. Furthermore, growing up in the province is one of the many things I am thankful for. Living a simple life surrounded by nature and the people I treasure the most was such bliss. And even though my father is an OFW, he still fulfills his responsibilities. He was still present for most of my childhood. My favorite memory of him when I was a child was when we would ride his motorcycle everywhere. I can still remember how the wind would blow my hair in unison with our laughter over things we would see on the road.

When my father is home, he becomes my mom and my source of transport. We would ride his motorcycle from going to my grandparents�� house which I consider another home. I would be greeted by my grandparents, auntie, and cousin whom I consider my twin every time I arrive at their house. My cousin is two years younger than me, meaning I am the oldest grandchild, and niece in my mother’s family. We were always together, wore the same clothes and hairstyles, and went to the same school from kindergarten up to senior high school. People say that we look alike but I do not think so. I have wavy hair while she has straight hair. She has fair skin just like her mother while I have dark skin like my father. She is Chinita while I am a typical Filipino girl. Nevertheless, we were both adored by our families, and grew up in a loving and caring household.

Moreover, we also participated in various summer workshops for ballet, dancing, and volleyball when we were kids. And even though I met new friends, I felt out of place. Also, I could not find something that I really enjoyed doing, where my true interest lies when I was young. Being constantly compared puts a lot of pressure on me. I dance and play volleyball but only on average. I used to be envious of people my age who were already aware of their abilities, talents, and skills. I only knew how to observe and analyze the behaviors of those around me, such as if my parents are on good terms or not. But now that I am older, I have realized that I should stop using the word "only" in describing my abilities because these allowed me to discover my passion.

But it was not a one-snap thing; when I entered junior high school, it was a bit overwhelming meeting new individuals with different personalities, talents, etc. I was again lost in a room full of intelligent and skilled classmates, in between friends who were good at sports, singing, dancing, studying, etc. What am I? I felt like I did not belong there. I started to wonder; will I ever find my true strengths? What if I change myself? What if I try to be like them? Those were thoughts that constantly popped into my head, thoughts that left a mark on me. It changed the way I see and present myself. But what if there is really nothing wrong with me? What if I am blinded by my own insecurities? What if I stop thinking about others and just focus on myself? And what if I am just in the wrong environment? Well, I really do think I was in the wrong environment. I realize I do not have to change myself just to fit in and grow because a healthy environment will help me flourish rather than change myself. It was difficult for me to find myself, to find where I truly shine, and to find something about which I could say, "para rito ako," because the roads and opportunities leading there were limited.

In order for me to grow, I should learn to unplug. Unplug from things that have nothing to do with me. Unplug from people who only bring me hassle. Unplug from environments that cause pollution to my well-being. And unplug from the side of me that can possibly bring harm to the people around me. One of the best decisions I have ever made was to leave the place where I met the people who have become a part of me. But the universe had other plans; to cut a long story short, the pandemic happened, but still, I was able to disconnect from those things while reconnecting to more important things such as God, family, friends, and especially myself. Throughout the pandemic, I was given more chances to discover more about myself. I discovered my love for photography and interest in psychology.  

Furthermore, they say that life is full of peaks and valleys, and there will always be that one event in life that will make you agree with the idea. And in my case, I experienced heartbreak in friendship. From moments of just goofing around, I found my friends having the most hurt and disappointed facial expressions. Even if he was sending me mixed signals, he was also the one who made me feel that I should take one of the biggest risks I can take in life. I recall having a conversation with him in which he said he wanted to be my patient in the future when I become a clinical psychologist. That simply motivated me to pursue my goals because there are people like him who need help especially when it comes to their mental well-being. That experience may have ended on the side of the valley, but it provided life lessons and realizations that will lead me to the peaks of life.  

There will always be one antagonist in my head that will keep on discouraging me, but the antagonist never wins, the protagonist in me will prove that I deserve to be in that field. That discouragement would not hinder me from working hard to arrive at my destination after years of searching for it. And on the most random days, people would approach you and say the most important things you needed to hear. God will give me signs that would tell me that I am on the right path, signs that would tell me that those years of self-discovery are all worth it. He will use my friends and family as an instrument to remind me to explore more and never give up in life.  

There would always be days when I felt discouraged, but five words could shake me out of it, “How’s our family’s future Psychologist?" Hearing that line, I suddenly remembered the old me who was struggling to find where she truly shines, and I just want to tell her that all those days would be worth it. You will arrive at this part of your life wherein you do not have to be envious of others because you can finally say “para dito ako.” There will also be a time when you will realize that change is inevitable, and you will always discover and rediscover new things. You will realize that everyone has their own timeline, and that life is not a race. Everyone will get to their destination at their own pace. Yes, life has its uncertainties, but one thing is certain: you will always gain new knowledge and experience. Everything in life is complicated, discovering oneself and true calling. Because that is how life is, it would be an endless journey. Au revoir à bientôt!