#i rely a lot of my people to help me

[alwaysoc]

#YES! GIVE ME THAT FANFIC ANGST! #IT'LL MAKE ME CRY BUT IT'S WORTH IT! #it's just so rare to see Katarina so self-depricating in the first place #but now she has good reason to be #if I was her I would be too! #Hamefura #honestly On The Verge of Doom is SO much better than I thought it would be! #like new plot #new struggles #Katarina's done a lot of horrid things but she's desperately trying to make up for them #hustle hustle hustle! #my poor baby doesn't have a big harem that she personally helped to rely on #like Alan and Keith (Keith especially) are such DIFFERENT people! #Alan Nicol and Sophia hardly appear #and only Geordo (and maybe Mary and Maria) seem to actually be lovestruck and that isn't until towards the end #this means that lots of the characters also act differently with each other! #Keith and Geordo don't have a rivalry and it's more of like a “Keep her safe will you?” #we get more insight into Maria being all insecure and don't see her mother at all #because even if Katarina still wanted to see how real fields looked #she wouldn't have any reason to go to Maria's hometown if she feels like she's made Maria suffer so heavily! #which makes sense #I adore that there's more focus on sword fighting too! #also Sienna is the sweetest baby ever! it's a shame that she doesn't appear at all in canon but it makes sense #anyway! yes! Verge of Doom is good! #I finished it all in one four-hour take! #I wouldn't mind getting maybe an anime spin-off based on Verge of Doom #goooosh! I love it! I'm going to go read some fluffy fanfic stuff now!

[its-captain-sir]

Another thing kind of in a similar vein to that last post: I really can't stress enough that if you are the cool family member that hangs out with the kids, don't ever stop doing that, even as they get older. I feel like for a lot of people it's really easy to bond with little kids cause well they're little kids! they think just about anything you could do is cool! and it's maybe a little easier to keep them entertained with simple games. But then as they start getting older like 8, 10, 12, etc, people tend to draw back more and not interact as much, which is absolutely the worst thing to do honestly. Kids at that age Are getting more self aware and maybe a little more self conscious and they Are trying to figure out their place in the world so maybe they don't play all the exact same games they used to, but I bet they still loving playing games!! And given the chance, I bet they would love the fact that they get to play with YOU, their old friend, even more. You might have to work a little bit harder to get them to warm up to you again at first, especially if they don't get to see you very often, but once you get past that they're gonna fall into the same habits around you that they always have and honestly, it's gonna be such a relief for THEM that they are able to act that way with you. You end up being something they can count on, a constant even as they change and grow and an opportunity to let loose a bit as they settle into themselves as people. And if you keep that up alllllll throughout their childhood and alllllll throughout their time as teens, you're gonna end up with a really great relationship that will probably last for the rest of your lives. So yeah, keep being there for all the kids in your life, especially the ones in the awkward phases!!! It may be years down the line, but they'll thank you for it one day, and I promise you'll both cherish that time forever and forever

#I'm speaking as someone on both sides of the equation so i really do promise that all of this is absolutely true #i was lucky enough to have quite a few people in my family who did this for me. uncles and cousins and other family friends #and honestly i don't know who i would be without them today. they helped me out so much and those relationships really define me now #and now that I'm older I'm trying to pass that forward to all my younger cousins #making sure like they feel they can always come to me and hanging out with them every chance i get #and encouraging them!! a lot!!! #and as they start to get older i hope they feel like they can keep relying on me #because i will always be there if they ever want to play a game :) #i. do not know what to tag this as hwkdhskdjs #just my little psa i guess

[polarfarina]

I guess I'm just confused that fans of watcher are willing to pay sometimes $100 or more in ticket prices to see the live shows with Shane and Ryan but then $6 is really offensive and a betrayal of an ask... like one mystery files hoodie costs more than a year of their (currently announced price of the) site subscription. Don't get me wrong because I do NOT think the paywall was the right decision or announced the right way, I don't think it's going to work. But. I have seen and heard several people say they buy tickets and merch, why can't that be enough? $6 is too expensive! But I'm sitting here confused because. The tickets and merch are way more than six dollars..???? I'm really really confused about that point. It's not that I don't understand that $6 can be unaffordable, it's just... so many people say they can't spend $6 while in the same breath have been boasting about how so far they've been able to spend money on concerts and patreon and buying shirts and blind boxes and the premium YouTube subscription because creators get a bigger chunk of the money that way (watcher should be GLAD they supported them btw!); but SIX DOLLARS? They can't pay that! It's odd. Is all I'm saying.

On the flip side, I saw people saying that because they live outside of the us they would get charged a double tax that they couldn't afford due to having to transfer money overseas; I feel like that's a really good point. Once this goes behind a paywall, international audiences will have a much harder time accessing content moving forward, if they can at all (not every country plays nice with PayPal). Even if they can afford the $6, there will be a heap of fees on top of it - or there won't even be a way to get the money to the service in the first place.

Absolutely the fact that Watchers' content is suddenly becoming paywalled seemingly immediately moving forward with little warning is a big shock and at first when watching the video, I didn't think they were serious. Having witnessed a successful launch of a YouTube channel into a paid subscription site with the exact price that watcher is asking for... they are not doing it right. Not for their audience. But people are so so focused on how expensive six dollars is and not on the other implications of this decision, which just... am I in the wrong here?? There's a bigger conversation i feel could be had but everyone is really really focusing on the BETRAYAL of six dollars... and I feel like I'm going crazy because that wasn't even in my first handful of thoughts about why this was a bad idea

#ghostly posts #it's one am sorry this is so long #you can write me hate mail saying I'm detatched from reality or whatever if you'd like I'm just trying to get this out of my head so I can #think about other more important stuff. #the bottom line is that shows don't last forever. they don't stay the same. #content evolves and moves and gets written by different people and handed around and it's sometimes impossible to get your hands on #I feel like a lot of people these days kind of set themselves up relying on future promises to help them go forward and if their expectation #s aren't met the way they want it suddenly feels like their mental health is going to crash and it's all the media's fault for changing #I think a better way to approach it is ti enjoy what you have. pick your favorite parts and revisit those. and don't rely on new stuff all t #the time??? #fandom is so fast paced these days I do not get it. once I had every mutual in the one fandom all quit posting the same day #because the final piece of media about it released and that was it! no more point to it if there's not new stuff coming out #which is... not how I think about anything. a show doesn't get ruined because there's not more coming out? #does that make sense? probably absolutely not. good day

[arolesbianism]

I’ve been thinking abt one of my older oni colonies and decided to doodle my first three dupes in that save

#keese draws #oxygen not included #but yeah these guys were my main scientist digger and rancher respectively #this was one of my actual spaced out style saves so ofc I chose the cold asteroid still #it was painful opening this save again to look at their traits as it was basically my first longer attempt #let’s just say I had no idea what I was doing and ran out of power literally everywhere #might do a rescue attempt on this save tbh sounds like a fun challenge #but yeah I actually have characterizations for most of the dupes in this save in my head they’re like semi ocs to me #they’re the ones I like to imagine fumbling about post olivia entering sleep mode #cause there’d be such a harsh contrast in how they’d all react and move forwards #burt in particular would take it rly hard mostly because he’s the only scientist #so everyone ends up looking to him for answers and help and he just doesn’t know how to provide any of it #he had already spent so long feeling overworked and under appreciated so this wouldn’t help at all #quinn on the other hand is generally more optimistic as they have gone through a lot of rough shit and made it out on the other side #so they see this as an obstacle they’ll all overcome and grow stronger from #they’re also just very used to being suddenly forced to say goodbye to people for potentially forever #harold was almost relieved by the whole event because it lead to a lot less activity in the neural chip network #which is in fact a big source of panic for most of the dupes but harold pretty much exclusively goes to like 3 rooms so he’s not as effected #he also just doesn’t like the noise of the hundreds of commands that he can’t even follow #he just manages the plants and the pips and sometimes helps with the cooking #he honestly really likes the freedom of figuring out what to do without instruction #as the pip farm he manages is very. well let’s just say pips tend to starve in there a lot #yknow thankfully I did give these guys a bunch of phones so at least they’d be able to still know what’s up with eachother still #still an uncomfortable feeling loosing that connection that you’ve been relying on for years

[girlyliondragon]

"Hey Em, What happened to your Deltarune phase?"

Well I DID say it was a phase. xp I'm still into it, but not as heavy as before as I have my eyes and brain set on focusing on a guilty pleasure rn that I share with a friend.

Plus, I don't want DR to turn into an emotional crutch like I tried to make it back then.

#Em Speaks #I'll admit I think I got into DR to have an easier time separating myself from my most recent past fandom that destroyed my mental health #since I had no idea what I wanted to do here anymore at the time or if I should stay on this account #drawing for a different fandom even for a little bit helped me realize I can extend out a bit #now that I'm doing a lot better and away from that mess hole I'm not relying on DR anymore even if it was for a short while #It's back to being a casual interest #my trust in people and the idea of making new friends is still shattered though and probably will stay that way for a long time #like how I was before I even came onto Tumblr after dealing with my year long abusive stalker #But it's something better than nothing #Btw I have a few unfinished DR sketches yeah

[mooodyblue]

ignore me lol

#having one of those nights where i'm very very miserable #like the constant guilt of just being me in my situation here at home barely getting to leave the house #not being able to work because i have no transportation #having to rely on bits of online work i can find online just to like have lunch with a friend #can't even drive we have one car my dad won't help me get my license #can barely do my online work because we haven't had wifi in weeks and a lot of it i need my laptop for :( #like writing is all i have now this is the only thing keeping me from losing my mind and doing some dumb shit #and im like .. is this going to be my life forever cause this shit has been going on for many many years now #and i just don't want people thinking i /want/ to be living this way i literally don't #like it's crazy i have to wonder like why am i existing if im just locking myself in my room all day everyday #all of this combined w my trying to control my ** it just does not help at all #idk i just want to be normal i want to have a life i wanna enjoy my life #but knowing it's going to be awhile before i do just makes me dread waking up every morning #im just so sad and lonely and miserable and this is all i have going for me #idk #sorry for the long vent #but it is true everyone i am in fact a loser #alright lemme shut up lol

[sweet-milky-tea705]

Been feeling lonely :(

#like. been feeling a lot actually #its gotten better but my problems havent really disappeared or anything #i think i would feel better if i had a partner. maybe i wouldnt but who knows #i feel like everyone i have in my life right now arent people i’ll ever be comfortable leaning on. #my online friends are all so nice but theres a level of attachment that really cant be achieved online and it doesnt help that i have this #constant fear of being perceived as creepy or annoying which in and of itself is hard to admit without worrying that THAT makes me that #my family is no help. it hurts to think that other people can rely on their family when theyre distressed #wake up in the morning to the sound of birds chirping and yelling at eachother. #i want someone to lean on. i want someone to hold me and i want someone who wont judge me for who i am. someone i can be comfortable around #i want someone i can fall asleep on and call late at night and text all day. someone to go do mundane things with #im also really rejection sensitive and currently very attached to someone and they ignored something silly i did idk… now im upset about it

[aspieragus]

since i gave my two weeks notice it’s become incredibly obvious that my employers kinda need me around if they don’t want the store to fall apart... should have thought about that a little earlier, sweaty :)

#they’re like dropping hints that they want me to stay #i could have if they would stop relying on me in like three whole departments on busy days when we’re shortstaffed #and also trying not to cut my hours as if i was too expensive to keep around at 13.10$ an hour #i stayed there a lot longer than i should have because i couldn’t leave the few people i care about in the holiday rush #which only gave me more reason to take a fucking lifeboat out of there #sometimes i really loved this job because i felt helpful and did my best to have people leave with a smile and i felt FULFILLED #but the management seemed to be hell bent on making it hell for me to even stand up there

[bonelessice]

i have two jobs now

#its making me act unwell i hate it but I think my mind will change on paycheck day #mostly bc a lot of stuff is me relying on others kindness #hyper independence be like #how about we stop asking people for help now #moms not making it better like #shes like well i will help you but I have the right to complain #yes you know you do however it makes me want to craw into a hole and never return

[vanillabat99]

I think it's really funny that some people think showing the slightest hint of anything LGBTQ+ in children's media will "turn kids gay". My family growing up was pretty pro-gay, I saw gay people in TV shows and movies fairly often, and I still didn't find out I was bi until I was like 13 and it didn't even have anything to do with media.

#i only found out because at that time i suddenly encountered gay people irl #like. my mom watched xena all the time. a lot of movies we have are like suuuuuuper lgbt (for the 80s/90s/00s). #even the sitcoms they watched all had at least one episode where gay rights is explicitly stated as a good thing #and none of that ever really clicked for me personally i guess?? #it wasnt until i met gay people irl and was having like actual discussions about it that i started to figure things out!!! #seeing gay people in media probably helped me be more understanding and accepting dont get me wrong #but like. i think its important that we still provide opportunities irl for kids to learn and grow instead of relying on media. #does that make sense? #batty blogging #text #i know my posts and my tags are like two separate beasts sorry about that. its not going to be changing.

[orcelito]

oh yea i was also so late in leaving for my lab today that there was NO way i'd be biking in time. but i managed to catch the bus bc there was a spot for my bike so i got there on time after all <3

#speculation nation #highlight being that someone else with a bike was also catching the bus at my stop #and as i was trying to get my grip to lift my bike up this dude started putting his bike up #but like. in the front spot (since i was standing closer to the bus & gearing up to put mine on the inner spot) #and the driver legit honked at him & yelled like 'dont put your bike up before theirs! how are they supposed to get it on?!' #& the dude was properly chastised lmfao. & i just plopped my bike on up there. #i have a lot of anxiety about taking the bus with my bike bc of like. if it'll have room in the first place being a big one #but also im allergic to inconveniencing people. so me taking extra time to put my bike up and then to take it down when im getting off #it's Awful. i hate it. so i avoid riding the bus with my bike if i can help it. #but this time went pretty well actually. makes me feel maybe a Little less anxious about possibly doing it again. #i still dont wanna rely on it if i can help it bc if there r already two bikes on there then im FUCKED #but in an emergency. where im gonna be late Anyways. it's tolerable. #like lmao i usually am passed by the bus about halfway thru my biking commute to class. #but i was passing the stop right as the bus was coming up so i was like 'Whelp guess im doing this today' #the reason being. i was gaming in the morning as i ate breakfast and lost track of time a bit lsdkjflsdjf Whoops

[mrfoox]

Okay it's offical, Jonathan is changing work and I won't see him any more 😔

#miranda talking shit #Janathan is such a special guy like... Truly dog vibes. He can be a little ... Prone to messing up simple things but its impossible to be #Mad at him. And always happy and kind. Hes helped me so much... Like i love oliver and Magnus a hecking lot but Jonathan has been a stable #Help for me and i could rely on him (even if he messed things up haha). I really wish him the best #Im kinda anxious bc hes one of my 3 favorite people who i prefer to come by to help me... Now im down to 2 again and i assume it'll #Lead to having more strangers come by to fill his place /: ive met quite a few different people obviously but none of them ive clicked with #Like oliver/magnus/Jonathan... I mean wilma was my girl but she quit last year 😔 but outside of my worries im glad for him #He deserves good things. I think hes one of the ones that actually like this job a lot. Hes been in the homecare business 80% of his work #And hes said more than once he likes it. Working with people is one of the rewarding things. I hate that its so badly paid though and #So stressful and demanding. They deserve double the pay at least. Ive only worked as a student with my mom for 3 months but even by only #Seeing that i can tell how hard the worj is. And then i hear all the shit they have to deal with its insane. People working in homecare #Especially. Like you need the social skills to deal with all kinds of people. Some are dement some are aggressive or other things. Then you #Will have to be cleaning a lot and you'll have to know how to do it decently. Making food is also common. You'll be dealing with medication #Heavy lifting is also not uncommon. Some people will need help to get up from bed and get showers. Not uncommon for their homes not to be #Installed with lifts or such to help with the lifting. Like its in my opinion one of the most demanding jobs around . And the people doing #It gets paid shit... For all thats expected and frankly demanded by the workers the pay is not even close to being fair #I know all healthcare workers have that issue basically but man homecare/older care... Those are extra unfair imo #Anyone who doesnt have respect for those workers I'll personally beat with a bat :)

[maddestmewmew]

DONT like the implication not graduating high school makes you dumb? how about we talk about the fact that this is VERY obviously praying on those who are in need?

#like . hello! dropout here. they dont want me bc im 'stupid' im Not stupid. #they want me bc im Vulnerable. #i cant get a job but i NEED one. hey look heres a job that comes with LOADS of benifits!! #think about all those people who dropped out of high school because they needed to favor work to support their familys #or those who Started a family in high school and needed to drop out to take care of them #ANYONE who quit school for ANY reason is vulnerable bc its a LOT harder for us in society #im lucky #i can rely on my mom for stability #not everyone is that lucky! #if i were still living with my dad? hed kick me out the second i turned 18. #and when youre young and desprate #the military shows itself off as accsessable and helpful. #both my parents both fell victim to the military bc they were Desprate. #think about how many More people are desprate if they dont have a high school diploma. #tldr. dont mock people in need bc the military sees them as easy targets?? mock the ones targeting people in need.

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

#Ramble #Sorry I just took my sleeping pills lol #Seepy

[ketchuppee]

During the 2008 recession, my aunt lost her job. Her, her partner, and my three cousins moved across the country to stay with us while they got back on their feet. My house turned from a family of four to a family of nine overnight, complete with three dogs and five cats between us.

It took a few years for them to get a place of their own, but after a few rentals and apartments, they now own a split level ranch in a town nearby. I’ve lost track of how many coworkers and friends have stayed with them when they were in a tight spot. A mother and son getting out of an abusive relationship, a divorcee trying to stay local for his kids while they work out a custody agreement, you name it. My aunt and uncle knew first hand what that kindness meant, and always find space for someone who needed it, the way my parents had for them.

That same aunt and uncle visited me in [redacted] city last year. They are prolific drinkers, so we spent most of the day bar hopping. As we wandered the city, any time we passed a homeless person, my uncle would pull out a fresh cigarette and ask them if they had a light. Regardless of if they had a lighter on hand or not, he offered them a few bucks in exchange, which he explained to me after was because he felt it would be easier for them to accept in exchange for a service, no matter how small.

I work for a company that produces a lot of fabric waste. Every few weeks, I bring two big black trash bags full of discarded material over to a woman who works down the hall. She distributes them to local churches, quilting clubs, and teachers who can use them for crafts. She’s currently in the process of working with our building to set up a recycling program for the smaller pieces of fabric that are harder to find use for.

One of my best friends gives monthly donations to four or five local organizations. She’s fortunate enough to have a tech job that gives her a good salary, and she knows that a recurring donation is more valuable to a non-profit because they can rely on that money month after month, and can plan ways to stretch that dollar for maximum impact. One of those organizations is a native plant trust, and once she’s out of her apartment complex and in a home with a yard, she has plans to convert it into a haven of local flora.

My partner works for a company that is working to help regulate crypto and hold the current bad actors in the space accountable for their actions. We unfortunately live in a time where technology develops far too fast for bureaucracy to keep up with, but just because people use a technology for ill gain doesn’t mean the technology itself is bad. The blockchain is something that she finds fascinating and powerful, and she is using her degree and her expertise to turn it into a tool for good.

I knew someone who always had a bag of treats in their purse, on the odd chance they came across a stray cat or dog, they had something to offer them.

I follow artists who post about every local election they know of, because they know their platform gives them more reach than the average person, and that they can leverage that platform to encourage people to vote in elections that get less attention, but in many ways have more impact on the direction our country is going to go.

All of this to say, there’s more than one way to do good in the world. Social media leads us to believe that the loudest, the most vocal, the most prolific poster is the most virtuous, but they are only a piece of the puzzle. (And if virtue for virtues sake is your end goal, you’ve already lost, but that’s a different post). Community is built of people leveraging their privileges to help those without them. We need people doing all of those things and more, because no individual can or should do all of it. You would be stretched too thin, your efforts valiant, but less effective in your ambition.

None of this is to encourage inaction. Identify your unique strengths, skills, and privileges, and put them to use. Determine what causes are important to you, and commit to doing what you can to help them. Collective action is how change is made, but don’t forget that we need diversity in actions taken.

#long post #some thoughts I’ve been having

[if-th3n-else]

Not having to set up an alarm for tomorrow cause I don't work: hihi

It's because I work Saturday: not hihi

#misc #my team were excluded from Saturdays shift because we rely on post office service #and they don't work on Saturdays #(i mean the b to b service not the regular one) #and also cause we're like three people #so we can't afford to have one absent the week to work Saturday #but some people found it unfair #the people who don't do our job #who do like two tasks when we are doing like 5 #and backing them up as soon as we have finished our tasks everyday #when only two of them sometimes help us #also they are like 40 #anywayyyy #it's running my lazy weekend #and ruining next week #because with only Sunday to rest #they better not expect me to be productive next week #but we don't have a lot of work as usual at that time of the year #so at least we have under 40 hours weeks