#i relate for many reasons

[nonasbirthday]

Clear as mud! But I expect nothing less from a Homestuck 🫡

#this is a fine and perfectly reasonable way to have ordered groups of nine relate to each other :) #this took me way too long to make and i know people are gonna come into my notes and tell me what i got wrong #which is fine lol there are many smart folks here #i am not budging on Anastasia being responsible for the 'reconstruction' step though. TWICE in GTN the Ninth is linked to reconstruction #and i think the fifth preserves the spirit (step 1). #perfunctory image id in alt text #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #the locked tomb spoilers #nonasbirthday #enumeration in the locked tomb

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat: #how do i be normal #edit in the tags: #hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition'' #because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are. #that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with.... #this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal'' #[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into] #but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be'' #and im like ... of course it was about you. #art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation . #you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you. #there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

[lazylittledragon]

a 2 act tragedy starring me: i’ve been making fruit smoothies in the morning for a few days which has been great because it’s getting me to actually eat fruit for once, only to go on the internet and be told that it apparently releases all the natural sugars so it's actually Not that great for you and i am devastated

#ramble #i thought i was doing myself SO many favours #i ENJOY FRUIT i just don’t eat it for some reason related to adhd #context i am a long term ED sufferer so this kind of thing upsets me #honestly i don't care that much because it feels like it's better than Zero Fruit #can any dieticians put my mind at ease #someone explain how ‘the natural sugars are released and become Bad Sugar’ makes sense. like it’s all just the FRUIT #chanting to myself ‘there are no bad foods there are no bad foods there are no bad foods’ #like the Nutrients are still there and some of the fibre is still there #tw ed #on a lighter note current fave is pineapple+orange #also kiwi which i didn’t think would be good #edit: WAIT YOU’RE RIGHT WOULDN’T THE SUGARS BE RELEASED THE EXACT SAME WAY BY JUST CONSUMING THE FRUIT. WHAT THE FUCK

[naranjapetrificada]

Just a small thing I noticed while being totally normal about the gay pirates:

I've watched The Kiss™ way too many times a normal number of times and my favorite moment is the series of microexpressions Rhys cycles through while Stede is reacting to "what makes Ed happy is...you" because it's just so lovely and masterfully done. While trying to find a good gif of just that moment (no luck so far!) I noticed something that happens while Ed is pulling Stede in.

Stede, darling honey light of my life, clueless useless "oblivious" gay that he is, tilts his head a bit and leans into the kiss too. Before it's even started. On some level he registers that This Is Happening in time to react in a positive way, even before their lips have touched.

Our boy is a creature of instinct, and when he acts on his emotional instincts without thinking too much he knocks so much shit out of the park. Instinct is part of why "you wear fine things well" hits as hard as it does. Instinct is how he can woo Ed as easily as he does. Instinct is how they were able connect so deeply so quickly, because his instinct is to be open and non-judgemental to this beautiful man waiting beside his sickbed and asking about fine fabrics.

Stede's thoughts are still too clouded by his trauma and self-loathing to be useful for him, and he can end up thinking too much about what he "should" do or what other people do. Thinking is part of the reason he's so quick to believe Chauncey in the woods. Thinking means succumbing to beliefs about his perceived worthlessness, which leads to his biggest mistakes. Thinking tells him to adjust what he says about Blackbeard in that tavern of townies, when his instinct was to say how "absolutely lovely" Ed is.

Obviously man cannot live by instinct alone, like he definitely should have thought for a minute about making a deal with Geraldo to fence the hostage. Stede needs to learn to balance the two and when to listen to either/both of them. But I was just so excited to see him leaning in the way he does because it underlines a feeling I've had for a minute, which is that Stede's instincts are those of someone crushing and then falling in love, and that never wavers.

He lacks the context and vocabulary to identify what's going on without outside intervention, but he also deeply gets it in a way that's extremely queer and that I hope starts showing up more in the fanon. I do a little happy dance every time I see this in people's fics and I just need so many more of them! Give me more eager Stede who is Ready To Go once he's given the right context for his feelings about Ed!

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta #meta #no but for real Eager Stede Bonnet is a fucking delight to encounter #no thoughts detected in that well-coiffed little head of his #and when it comes to emotions at least things work out better for him #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #I think I've also written meta before about how Stede Bonnet Sex God™ isn't a joke and it's his instincts! #it's why so many fics have him lacking in previous experience but not in creativity or enthusiasm #his relationship to instinct also feels autistic to me for relatable reasons but that's a whole other thing #ofmd spoilers #The Kiss™

[suashii]

suna blurb based on some selfshippy stuff :3 360 words

you can feel a pair of eyes burning a hole in the back of your head, like they’re looking into the depths of your soul. you swallow your bite of food and then sigh, turning around in your seat to meet the gaze of the boy staring at you. your attention gives suna the courage to speak. “are you still mad?”

“do i look mad?”

he pauses for a moment to take in your expression. you certainly don’t seem happy. “yeah.”

“then i guess i’m still mad,” you tell him, shrugging your shoulders and facing forward once more.

maybe it’s trivial, but you’d expect that the guy who you thought was your boyfriend to have you saved as something more sweet than your whole name in his phone. you’d updated your contact name for him forever ago—a week after the two of you made it official. maybe that was a bit soon but it’s been months since then.

a pout overtakes your lips as you mull over the matter but a poke on your shoulder keeps your from dwelling too long. you know it’s suna and you contemplate ignoring him before he pokes you again. an annoyed groan rumbles in your chest as you turn around for the second time to see what he wants.

only, you aren’t faced with him, but his phone. it’s pulled up to your contact. instead of being met with the sight of your full name typed out across the screen, you see that he’s exchanged it for just your first—and it’s followed by a heart. its such a small thing that might mean nothing to someone else but the gesture means almost the world to you.

suna must sense a change in the air that surrounds you. he asks, “am i forgiven?”

you give him a short nod and an excited smile. “you are forgiven.”

his next question feels silly to ask, but he needs to know if the two of you are on good terms—the way you had been before your discovery of what might as well have been a crime. “are we dating again?”

“yeah,” you laugh, “i kinda missed calling you my boyfriend.”

#as promised — a blurb of one of many reasons suna gets ‘broken up’ with hehe #he’s annoying but just as cute #can’t resists is loser boy charms #i am in deeeep >\\\< #tags bc others may relate lol #suna x reader #suna fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #ᯓᡣ𐭩 mantaro

[aroaceleovaldez]

HoO is so funny to me when you actually think about the ages of all the characters. Octavian is 18. Percy and Annabeth are 16, almost 17. Reyna is presumably 16. Frank just turned 16, Jason’s about to turn 16. Leo and Piper are like 15. Hazel’s like 14 and a half, and Nico is 13.

The Death Sibs are both the youngest and oldest on the Argo II. Octavian is a college freshman getting into petty drama with a bunch of high schoolers. He gets told to shut up at one point by a random 8th grader. Everyone is scared of the 8th grader. We Sent A 13 Year Old To Superhell and he came back weirder, Just Like Middle School. TLH was just three high school sophomores being sent to do a task and it going Exactly Like You’d Expect. Percy’s the only demigod on the ship who can legally drive (though Reyna gets her drivers license at some point before TOA). What Is Happening.

#pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #riordanverse #my second favorite thing related to this is like every time Hazel references someone's age especially in SoN it's just. blatantly incorrect. #she goes into very specific detail about how she's 14. detailing like exactly how many months it had been since her birthday #and when she died and when she was brought back. just like ''okay. im 14 and a half. got that? good.'' #''anyways here's Frank. he's 3 years older than me'' like literal next chapter. we are told Frank is not 3 years older than her. #Hazel: Here's my older brother! [Nico is younger than her in literally every way feasible] #ive just decided Hazel is an unreliable narrator who is just really bad at guessing/remembering how old people are #which like. adhd mood. forgetting how old everybody is. #and she has the bonus excuse of saying her sense of time is skewed from being a ghost for so long #but it's just so funny every time she's just. with the upmost confidence. blatantly the wrong answer. #i want a scene of Hazel looking at Percy and just going ''hm. I bet he's like 20.'' and then learns he's 16 #and she's just [surprised pikachu] #also we know it isn't an error that she's 14 cause in TOA she's like ''oh yeah im learning to drive!'' #so she's 15 by then #it is however an error that *Nico* is said to be 14 in hoo cause he's 12 in TLO and 14 in TOA #but we know in HoO the reason that error was made was cause Rick hadn't figured out Nico's birthday yet #and he was flipping it between January or March #so he just forgot how old Nico is for a series and then we went back to normal

[brother-emperors]

@garland-on-thy-brow #get romancedramad romeboys.

(metal gear solid voice) on it boss 🫡

the first and last ones are scene re draws, in order: the live action adaption of sci mystery, the heirs lmao

#the middle one is a continuation of my agenda to create scenes where Crassus calls Pompey a brat for no particular reason #honestly its better suited for Caesar but I don’t care abt him #ANYWAY using your tags as a excuse to post some of these. I have so many. The ‘we should be friends’ scene from Killer and Healer #a million thoughts abt dmbj ofc since that turned into a whole AU #distantly related. If I was to assign romans pieces of media to explain their vibe. Sulla is the movie Double Mints #drawing tag #tris homines #roman republic tag

[nemmet]

🌻💙 happy autism month to this wonderful silly guy, and all his boundless enthusiasm for what he loves!!!

#i didn’t want to get too mushy in the caption but. a lot of feelings went into this!!!!!!! #like. this character is such a big part of the reason why i’ve grown confident and happy in my autistic identity #he’s far from perfect but he was there when i needed him and never fails to make me smile #i had an absolute blast paying homage to all of his many hyperfixations here!!! lmao #it’s always a joy to see him get obsessed with something new every movie. very relatable #anyway. i love you freddie :) #i wait for the day that you’re explicitly confirmed as autistic in another show/movie #!!! #i have hope ahaha #but either way he’ll always be special to me 💙 #scooby doo #scooby doo fanart #fred jones #fred scooby doo #autistic fred jones #autism #actually autistic #autism acceptence month #nem art :) #scooby doo and nemmet too!

[chrollohearttags]

went down the rabbit hole on YouTube of other black ppl who are aromantics, virgins, never dated, etc. and I’m sitting here cheesing so hard bc I’ve never felt so validated. Like it’s not something I’ve ever felt ashamed or bad about and I’ve never had the desire to lose the ‘v card’ or be in a relationship but I feel like sometimes it’s hard to talk to other people about who aren’t and it’s just reaaaally nice to see other people that look like you sharing the same experience.

#I was watching a mommy blogger expose vid #and now we’re here #but it’s so nice to feel validated in ur experience #cherry chats 🍒 #aromantic #lgbtqia #like it gets hard when you have friends who talk about dating and sex and you can’t really relate to them #the main reason I don’t talk to many of my gfs anymore bc they’re in relationships and one’s pregnant #and I don’t have much to say #sexuality discussion #cw sexuality #they described everything I was feeling too #not wanting kids #not wanting to be married #and even not wanting to be touched

[anothermonikan]

Eh, fuck it, self-indulgent post, shoutout to the aro's out there who haven't gotten confessed to at any point in their lives. I see you. We are so fucking awesome

#Sorry I go in the aro tags and I do have to click out after like the third post about the pain of rejecting someone #Because yeah not a universal experience and I know the OP's aren't saying it is but seeing so many posts about it...can be kind of a bummer #Like. Oh no yet another queer experience that I've missed out on for some reason. Yeah <3 #I've only been confessed to as jokes! I do NOT miss high school!! #I am very strongly aro but I also don't relate to like half of the stuff in the aro tags. I think it's cool how we can all be so different! #aromantic #android.txt

[booasaur]

wtFOCK - 7x01

#wtfockedit #wtfock #anais davis #bobbie de bruyn #laura bekaert #nell cattrysse #wtfock 7x01 #wtfock spoilers #anobbie #femslash related stuff #meet-cute :> #I'm back! worse than ever #get ready for more random pauses and unanswered asks :x #this time with no vacation as the reason #but I saw on my phone that I'd spent MORE than 56 hours on twitter this last week #that's just...I can't keep that doing that #so I'll check in on things routinely but maybe not to the tune of 8 hours a day #anyway I was somewhat intrigued at the start of this ep and then unsure about the Bad Girl trope #though I was like well these poor skams how many different teen stories can they tell #but the citrus twist at the end??? #I cackled and am now quite curious to see how this plays out #I guess they got at least one more story #asks are open btw but I'm still catching up on: #TMS; WOT; boiling point; khufiya; gen v; everything now; usher; while the men are away; and neon #I'm caught up on invasion and doom patrol and general hospital though lol

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Thinking about step 9 and the whole concept of forgiveness of one’s self and others and it bringing healing and how bobby and Eddie have been paralleled a fair amount and the idea that Eddie started this process back at the end of s5 with his forgiveness and acceptance of his father but how he hasn’t yet gone anywhere near his mother and their relationship .

How his catholic guilt storyline seems more likely to play on his reltionship with his mother than his father (if his father wasn’t around that much it would’ve been Helena taking him to church etc each week) so the idea of an Eddie - Helena storyline that plays on catholic guilt and potentially his queerness in relation to that has me chewing on glass - it could be so epically good

#I’ve always viewed Helena as the biggest issue in Eddie’s relationship with his parents - Ramon has always - to me a least always seemed to #just go along with what Helena wants or dictates #it made sense with how his trauma ptsd army related arc played out that it was Ramon who was the centre of that #now though - catholic guilt - possibly playing into his queerness and suppression of that queerness #to keep some kind of reltionship with his mother - who only seems to view him through a lens of failure #leading him down a road where he wasn’t able to be his true self - it would be so powerful #there is so much potential there #eddie saying his mother wasn’t an issue in s6 - was such a choice and so pointed that they have to be wanting to explore that #so many aspects of who Eddie is and why he is the way he is - his want to nest but not being able to with women - stems from his mommy #issues and the fact he’s been denying they exist #I will eat it up - it would be the right kind of angst for the show and Ryan would deliver #plus the way it parallels with Bobby and his relationship with Catholicism would be fascinating #not to mention the whole Eddie not having a relationship with the faith he was brought up in only to start dating someone who is a literal #embodiment of that faith - and female - as a symbol of his needing to explore and reconcile the actual reasons for his faith lapsing- become #could not be queer and Latino and catholic when Eddie was growing up - it wasn’t an option - so if you step away from the faith that’s #denying a fundamental aspect of who you are #even if you still can’t act upon it - ​it is easier to keep that part of you concealed #911 spoilers #911 Thinky thoughts #eddie diaz #I need this arc to be a thing so badly #911 abc

[simplyavatrice]

ava + every episode - episode 2: "proverbs 31:25"

#ava silva #avatrice #avatricedit #warrior nun #warriornunedit #avasilvaedit #alba baptista #my edit #she's so soft tho like are you kidding me #her dipping her hand in the sand #her face when the halo is shining out of her back #also not in the set is her absolute joy at seeing the neuro driven wheelchair #like you know she grew up reading about these kinds of things just dreaming of having one #something to help her get out and see the world she so desperately wanted to be a part of #i love that moment for her #one of the many reasons i relate to ava so much #myedits

[chatonlaveur]

WIP preview for the Hyrule-centric LU fan comic I've been working on in my free time 👀

I really want to work on this, but also I am very busy rn, so we'll see when I actually get it finished :,) But like since this is theoretically in part an art blog I thought I should probably post some art even if it is just a WIP like this.

#Hyrule! little guy #he is truly working hard to shuffle my top three LU boys ranking #Legend and Four had better watch out because here comes Hyrule with a steel chair #I'm joking (probably) Legend has been my ride or die since I first read the comic but still #I've been thinking abt Hyrule a lot recently #many thoughts #ANYWAYS #idk if I'll stick to this as how I draw him once I'm done this comic #I want to experiment a bit more outside of his canon outfit in the future?? #and also his hair is a bit grown out here for reasons related to time passage within the comic itself so 👀👀👀 #who knows #linked universe #loz #the legend of zelda #Link #Hyrule #my art #WIP #delete later #(maybe? we'll see I might keep this up)

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.

Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.

If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.

#disability #ableism #ableism tw #this is one of the big reasons i was ashamed of admitting when i am in pain #and it's one of the reasons i was ashamed to address the pain i have #and i'm angry about that actually! nobody should fear being labeled as essentially having munchausen syndrome because... #...'young people NEVER have pain or disabilities and you're a liar!' #i really do want to start addressing my pain because i know it's not normal but holy shit batman it can suck sometimes #i honestly like talking to my dad about this because he also has a lot of pain (moreso than i do now) but he actually TRIES to listen... #putting this in the disability tag but i still don't feel right about labeling my own pain as such... #...but i know so many people with disabling pain who would relate... #...maybe it's internalized ableism on my part or maybe i just want to be respectful of people with worse pain #this is me really just reflecting on m the fact that i haven't ever had an amazing body in a lot of ways (though i am lucky still) #i'm still thinking about having an emergency cane to help me get up when my pain is bad but idk if it's worth the investment #so if anybody reading this has suggestions (esp. for those with back pain)... please hook me up i will platonically love you forever

[fantasykiri5]

It started as a qpr Fabriz thought but y’know what it extends to the rest of the bad kids: I think it would be really funny if they had a complex web of platonic marriages just to reap the financial and governmental benefits. Like “if one got seriously stuck in a hospital the others would be able to visit because they’d be considered spouse and/or legal family” style, y’know? In a “benefits on tax returns and few(er) questions if Fabian (or the cig figs if they make more money?) decides to share a larger amount of money with the others because they’re considered extended family” way, and a “easy to put on emergency contact forms” way. Half their parents are already dating each other, it wouldn’t even need to be a very large friend-marriage-web! Idk man I just think it would be funny

#Kiri rambles #I was thinking about how many legal benefits there are to being married (in relation to how fucked over you can get from NOT being married)- #-and was reminded of the immense comedic potential of ‘make the relationship web EVEN MORE FUCKED UP with like six platonic marriages- #-because taxes and professional adventurers surely frequent hospital visits’ #are there probably also laws allowing registered party members some similar benefits?? #I would hope so and knowing Brennan either probably or they’ll tackle that next year but IN CASE THERE ARENT I think is would be funny :D #the reason it wa spriginally and Fabriz thought is just because I’ve seen a couple very funny posts about them being platonically married- #-for various reasons but then I realized that A.) Riz would honestly probably REALLY benefit from that financially and B.) I actually- #-forgot my second point but my first point still stands #Fabriz #<- mostly for the blocklists frankly #the bad kids #d20 #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #should I tag all of them? it’s about them all but only partially mentions two… #fuck it why not #adaine abernant #Kristen Applebees #gorgug thistlespring #fig faeth #fabian aramais seacaster #fabian seacaster #Riz Gukgak #kristen chilis applebees #<- her fucking middle name.. you go girlie franshice names