#i really truly hope someone read all this because if they didnt then idk that would be kinda sad

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking out my manager?

Hi there. Trust me this is a WIBTA and not just dating advice.

So I (35F) am basically working at my dream workplace. I cant say what exactly, because I know people follow this account there, but suffice to say its in a desirable industry with a lot of passionate folks, and while its a big (~150 people) place, there's an atmosphere of kindness and joy I've never seen anywhere else. I know a lot of you probably hate me for this, but I am truly aware how rare a workplace this is, and I am grateful. I dont take it for granted. Sometimes the work itself truly sucks, and the pay is outright atrocious, but when your coworkers have your back, it makes all the difference. They accept me even tho I'm trans, and when I've been sick or injured they make sure I'm taken care of. I feel like they are a family of sorts, and I've been working there for over a year now.

Anyways, this wonderful place is held up by a lot of wonderful people, but one in particular is my manager (30F). When I first got hired, I noticed she was cute, but more importantly she was welcoming and accepting. I set aside those feelings, of course, because its a workplace, but they havent gone away.

But lately, this all started to change. We now spend a lot of talking! We have lots of common interests, and there have been nights when both of us will stay for HOURS while the other works, just to chat about whatever! We even text a bit, even about not-work things. Sharing fandom stuff, whatever. The more and more we talked, the more I fell for her. I could hear her go on for days, even if its something I dont care about. Hell, she could read the dictionary and I'd be sitting there grinning because I get to hear her talk. I've got it bad! And then, a few weeks ago, she even brings up how she's given up on dating...but before I could ask more or say anything really, a coworker interrupted and the moment passed.

And here I am, weeks later, smitten like crazy. And I'd say "oh she obviously likes me, she sticks around for you, shares stuff with you" but she's like this with everyone. She's a bit airheaded honestly about it, I mostly find it endearing, but she could absolutely just be doing it because she talks like that to everyone. She's bisexual, and very pro-trans, so I dont think that would be an issue in any way.

But here's where the WIBTA part comes: I have told a couple other coworkers, and they brought up not only that its a dangerous move to date a manager, but also that it could hurt the workplace itself. I mean, this is a place where so many people get to have a joyful opportunity at life, and as I've said this is tremendously rare...what if I take up too much of this manager's time, and she cant be there for other workers? What if this manager gets fired for dating an underling, and gets replaced by someone awful? There's a whole lot of what-if's floating through my mind.

And then I start thinking, if I ask her out, wouldnt that be putting her in an awkward position? I mean if she doesnt like me, and has to turn me down, she still has to work with me, and I her. I can compartmentalize that, but...she might have more trouble. Is it selfish of me to even try, when I could just let well enough be? And on top of that, what did she mean by "giving up on dating"? It didnt sound like she was aromantic, just that she decided it wont happen, but maybe its just going to be a problem if I ask her out. It feels like the stakes of even asking her out are so high. So I keep chatting with her in hopes that I'll catch a lead, but...idk.

Anyways, I am primarily concerned with if it would be a dick move to anyone in my workplace, especially her, but genuinely I am just lost here. I've never dated anyone at a workplace, but like. The dating apps suck, and I dont think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. I've even thought about quitting or finding another workplace to make it an easier decision, but I feel like thats even worse; like it would put pressure on her to date me because I quit for her or something. So how about it? Should I keep my mouth shut, or is love truly worth all risks?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[shriekshrike]

y’know what’s really interesting about last night’s episode is that it really revealed the BIGGEST flaw that bells hells has as a party:

they don’t fucking trust each other enough. or rather, they don’t trust themselves.

sure, they have the “you can have my back, you can save my life, you can heal me and switch places with me in a fight, you can head into danger and come out just fine” trust because if they didnt, they wouldn’t have made it this far. literally.

but they’re all so fucking careful when it comes to their suspicions! chet never says anything to anyone about dusk, orym doesn’t say shit about reading chet’s and dusk’s lips, imogen doesn’t say boo about not being able to read dusk’s mind. it’s not that they don’t think the others aren’t capable, but more like “if i don’t get all my ducks in a row no one will believe me” which!! is so much. to think about.

because when it’s said like that it’s not like they don’t trust one another, it’s more like they DON’T TRUST THEMSELVES individually! which makes so much sense! ashton got betrayed by ppl they thought they knew better than anyone else in the world, FCG finds out someone they thought was dead is actually alive and never bothered to get them back and they’re also fucking glitching more and more often and he finds out not only did dancer not make them but also they are MUCH MUCH older than anything or anyone else they’ve ever met (pre divergence BABY aeor is for LOVERS nd robits), imogen was a hermit in her own fucking home bc no one wanted to be around the girl who could get into your head (not like she had a choice sometimes) and she doesn’t trust herself not to somehow cross lines with people whether that be on accident or on purpose, laudna licherally spent 30 years post-death being ousted from town to town because people found her a freak and a witch and has a DEAD NECROMANCER WHO KILLED HER IN HER HEAD, fearne is slowly coming to realization that her parents maybe weren’t sending her post cards all those years and that her life really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and her memory is a little fucky (that feywild shit, huh), orym still probably feels residual survivor’s guilt in being unable to protect the one person who really truly mattered to him and sees it as a failing in himself rather than just something that happened, chet is a werewolf who literally gets run out of towns because of what he is and he could literally lose control if he’s too hurt or out of it and hurt someone else (as seen w orym)

like they’re so...aware of the trust they have for one another, but because they don’t trust themselves, they never SAY SHIT bc they’re always second guessing their suspicions which is so fascinating to watch; they don’t trust themselves enough to follow their instincts to trust one another even moreso. they’ve all got like folie a deaux but it’s mass imposter syndrome instead.

and it’s not like dusk knew that abt the bells, but it worked so well in dusk’s favor bc even if it was an 11th hour realization and discovery for the pc’s who did start to get suspicious, it would have been enough time to maybe do something. but they DIDN’T and it kinda doomed them!

after this i hope they get more...confident in their own capabilities. or at least learn to trust their own guts without needing confirmation or waiting for all the chips to land. sometimes, you just gotta listen to the sirens in ur head because that’s the part of u that wants u to survive no matter what.

dusk says a lot of shit and idk how much was truth laced with the sweetness of lies you wanna hear, but they got one thing fucking right. bells hells are special. and they gotta realize it before it really lands them in hotter fucking water.

#cr spoilers #critical role #bells hells #i wuv them and i think about them a lot ok #they really gotta trust themselves #as much as they trust one another.

[thecynthh]

the infamous deepfake.

okay so we have all seen or at least heard of the deepfake of matt right? its been quite the up roar recently bc everyone on here is talking about it, and i know im not that popular or if i should even be addressing this because all of it ive read about.

so if you dont know the deepfake of matt was basically a nude photo that was completely fake was posted on tiktok in an edit. it was shared not posted by sturnsfilmed or whatever their tag is now who is very popular on tiktok and notorious for saying some rather sexual things about them in their captions. the original pciture and edit was made by someone else who i am not aware of their @. just a disclaimer, i have not seen the picture nor am i wanting too, please stop sharing the photo around its rude and very horrible to the triplets.

my take

i think that if people didnt make such a big deal out of this and found it weird deepfakes wouldve definitely become more poplar, and im not saying that its right that people make these pictures or post them but lets be real. deepfakes wouldve RULED tumblr if it wasnt so wrong, i feel like there would be way more apparent if it wasnt so socially unacceptable/weird asf. we are all into sum pretty freaky shit and i think at least a good heap of people would be on the hunt for shit like that.

deepfakes are weird, especially if its of a famous person, like matt, who is very much unsuspecting of its capabilities and is most likely not aware that all of this happens and i truly hope he never does have to find out about it. because if you really think about it, what if he was just a guy at your school and he got exposed and had to change his entire identity and who he was because of this.

i know that its already been taken down but like i feel like if one of them knew about it, like if nick saw it, and matt knew what weird shit this part of the fandom does it would actually push him to quit.

now im a consumer and a provider of this content that i am talking about, i write, i read and i enjoy it but the thought of them knowing about it in reality really sets me off. please dont get me wrong i love fics and i love the snaps and texts of all of them but if they even HINT towards what we do im abandoning tumblr sooooooo fast.

please take what i say with a grain of salt cus imma be real idk what im talking abt. love yalls pls stay safe and be careful what yalls post.

-syn

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #syn speaks #sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo

[tadpolesonalgae]

i've seen a lot of people saying they'd want cbmthy reader to end up in spring but i don't see it. reader only seems to have a bad relationship with az (and even that is not a harmful relationship per se, as much of an asshole as he's being i think he would protect her like he protects the rest of the ic and the night court) so going to spring makes no sense since 1. tamlin hurt her sister and 2. said sister damn near destroyed his court (actually kind of hate that she did that that way too but) and reader ending up there but still being on good terms with the night court just doesn't really make sense to me. also tamlin acts like a republican, he gave me the ick beyond repair, i know some people want a redemption (and i accept that) but id rather not have to read about him.

my personal feelings aside i think if reader really doesn't end up with azriel (which i think wouldn't make sense because then all the hurt would be for nothing) the best bets for her to move would be autumn with eris but only if eris is already high lord because subjecting her to beron would suck, the day court since helion is the closest to the night court and they trust him also she would love the libraries or she could replace lucien with vassa and jurian (or join him if he doesnt end up with elain or in the day court), the winter court maybe but only for the fact that it's tje other court that seems closer to the night court mostly because of vivianne. or my favorite which is just staying home lol her family is in the night court so even if her and az dont end up together she deserves to be able to stay there with her family as much as him. azriel loved mor for 500 years and knew she didnt love him back but they both still managed to act civil and be friends. even if az hurt reader more i hope it wouldn't be to the point of them not being able to be civil so they could just stay, and they live forever so she'd get over her feelings eventually and find someone new. moving a character away when something bad or a breakup happen is something i always disliked so maybe that's why im giving it so much thought but it really always feels off because what do u mean you can't both keep your family/friends? if nothing truly bad happens why does one character always have to leave? idk

before i finish i just wanna say im not trying to be mean or speak over anyone that has said they'd like her to be in spring. i just wanted to add my opinion but i know over writing like this we cant really convey much emotion so i dont want to sound mean or anything

First of all, I didn’t think you were being mean at all, but thank you for adding that clarification anyway :)

Secondly, to be fair, for me it’s not so much as where she goes rather that she simply needs some time elsewhere. Nothing permanent, but a shift in scene because she’s caught in stale waters and if nothing changes she won’t ever learn to step forward and progress. Also, while the idea of her going to the Spring Court is—I think—very fun, and would be like throwing a spanner in the works, I feel there are only really two places she could go that would make sense to the story, and neither of those are the Spring Court (as interesting as it could be)

Also, I am fully down for a Tam redemption arc 😭🤌

I don’t want to say who she’ll end up with because I think part of the fun is contained within not knowing? She might get with Bas for a bit but then move to the Autumn Court, might become happy by herself and content on her own, might get with Az only for a mating bond to pop up between her and Eris. Who knows? 👀

(I enjoy messing with you)

It might be fun for her and Helion to get in touch, even if it’s just her requesting a scroll or book from one of his libraries, but no promises about that 😭

And thank you for sending this in, it really helps guide me with future parts—helping me know what to emphasise or what I should try to expand upon if it’s been skated over in a previous chapter :) 🧡💛

#anons <3 #CBMTHY

[rigelmejo]

I was browsing novelupdates.com's novel translation request area. Debating if I could pick one up. (But frankly I don't think I could reliably finish any over 25 chapters right now so I'm not sure if there's a way to search by length of the requested novel).

But its also like. See some people would like Any translator to pick up something they'd really like to read or are already reading with machine translate but desperately want a better option as mtl is riddled with mistakes and sometimes bad errors changing full on story meaning. But some would really like a Better translation than existing, or a very high quality one. (Examples of the difference: Rainbowse7en did an initial most-of translation of Guardian... an extreme example because they cut several scenes/paragraphs, summarized many lines so not word-for-word inclusive translation of all parts, but they did translate Fast and provide a more readable detail correct translation than mtl. Versus the multiple fans later that collaborated to word by word translate Guardian, who could check each others work and took a bit longer. Or yukas initial translation that I could tell was doing full detail for each word translation. Or DMBJs original published english book translations - certain choices made, full paragraphs and pages cut from the english. Versus merebeartranslates version and much more work kept to keep details as accurate as possible/all kept in). Now Id keep all words/details cause i HATE the idea of cutting anything i think its awful - unless ur goal is truly just a summary to explain what happened (hence i kind of get rainbowse7ens reason to release a book Main Parts plot asap, but i hate an official paid company doing it cause they had no reason to cut content). So id keep all details. But im not confident on word choice translation being close to perfect. I can do better than mtl, by far, but i think a much better translator (any frankly whos had practice, chichi, edanglars, rynnsuika etc) would do a much better job. So like. When people do ask for a translation im like what level quality would they find acceptable? Would they want an amateur?

I remember Poyun needed translation a long while back (i think someones picked it up hopefully though), and i never wanted to try even tho i was reading it in chinese cause i didnt think id do any better than the "im only translating this hoping a better group will get intetest and pick it up" person who started the translation. I dunno. Maybe they wanted anyone to pick it up. Maybr i overthought who knows. Then like. I ran into dage by priest recently. Has 2 translations, 1 i emailed about, 1 linked on novelupdates as existing but i cant find it at all. And so i have no idea how much is translated. But im reading it slowly in chinese so im like? If i translate any for myself, is it something someones translated well in english already? Does it not exist in english at all? Would my translated bits be worth sharing or would another translation come out better and idk idk whays wanted. Idk im just musing to myself...

#rant

[sadasspisces]

A secret no one knows about me, it's me. No matter how close I get to someone I can never be me. Because who I am is never enough. How I act, how I talk, how I love, the things that intrest me... it's never enough to make someone stay. Friends or lovers. I have been and always will be a disappointment to everyone I meet. I will leave this world alone. Without a single person to miss me, because they never truly knew me.

i understand this so much lol. it's almost as if i typed this, very close to things i say on the regular.

i'm going to give you some advice that i need to take myself but won't lmfaooo, um so i know it can get incredibly lonely, and idk about you but i have abandonment issues through the roof and it sounds like you might as well. ive found an odd comfort in my own company due to feeling how you described, but again it does get lonely, sometimes you wish you had at least someone to just have to like share things with or just genuinely like you for just who you are and what all comes with you. but there are people that can come around, that won't go and i'm trying to realize that. it's hard when all your life people have literally left. and i'm sure you do have someone that would miss you, my own family don't even know me personally, like no one in it but i know a few that would actually miss me, not many but a count on one hand if that. and tbh that's enough, you don't need a whole lot of people.

there are maybe like a total of 3 people i can say really know me, like the real me. things i like, things that make me cry/sad, my interests, me as an individual. i don't open up to many people ever, because same, the fear of them leaving. but you will find people that will be open to knowing you as a friend/lover. like its possible but you have to shift your mind a bit and also stay true to yourself, don't get too wrapped up when accepting someone in. like i try to give trial runs first, the people i consider "close" i didnt properly open up too until maybe months to years later lmfao literally every year they learn something new about me cause i have problems ofc lmfao. i'm an open book but i'm not an open book, like i won't read my book outloud if you get my drift. but yeah i feel it all starts with you first.

i can definitely relate though, and idk but i feel its a mental health thing. no ome truly knows me and i feel if i was to leave too, no one would truly miss the real me because no one knows who i truly am. so i get it, but try to start with yourself first, find some peace in yourself somewhere. 🧡 sorry this was super long but i hope it helps you some lol alsooo you could always message me, i suck at responding because my own mental health is poor lmfaoo but i will get back to you eventually but yeah take care i'm always here ☺️

#anon answered #anonymous #anon ask #send me anons

[blackhallow]

I CANT BELIEVE ITS FINISHED ALREADY 😭😭😭 CANT WAIT FOR WHATEVER U HAVE PLANNED NEXT !!!

SUGURU AND MAKI BONDING WAS HONESTLY SO SATISFYING THAT ENTIRE PART WAS VERY SLAY (I GET WHAT U MEAN WHEN U SAID SUGURUS REALLY GOING THROUGH IT)

NOBARA BEING #LOYAL🙏💪💪🔥🔥🔥🔥

yuki's little ducklings 💀 im just imagining those ducks that cross the road woth the milf duck being at the forefront and the ducklings following and then just people road raging in the background because of the traffic

todosistermaki 😍😍😍 (that is all i cannoot express it in words....so my keyboard smash will have to do pojigyuvgedckvogturjnewkgt....hope u got all of that)

nobara and todo might be getting into fights with students at their school (im genuinely assuming abt nobara but tbh it rly sounds like something she would do like she would totally get into a fist fight with someone) but yuki's getting into fights with the parents. every parent-teacher meeting is a nightmare for nobara WAIT I JUST REALISED THE IMPLICATION THAT TODO DROWNS HIMSELF IN AXE BODY SPRAY HELP IM DYING AT THIS 😭😭😭 (SOMETIMES I GENUINELY FEEL CONCERNED BY WHAT YUKI TAUGHT HIM.....THEN AGAIN SHE PROBABLY HAD AN AXE BODY SPRAY PHASE TOO....)

UNSURPRISINGLY THE SIBLING BONDING WAS MY FAVORITE

she rly took her takada shirt off just so that maki wouldnt come to know 😭 todo wanting to marry takada (poor thing was so engrossed by the idea of marrying an idol he sees like maximum once a month idk how often fan greets happen that he didnt notice the way takada made moves on mai 😭😭 maybe one day very far into the future)

OREO STEALING THE SPOTLIGHT AS ALWAYS <333

“Oh so when he wants to cuddle he’s yours but when he’s a problem he’s my son?” 😂😂😂😂😂

KFC???? IN THIS HOUSEHOLD????? NAUR WAY LMFAO (i thought for a second this was abt the satosugu breakup but then i realised its actually a tradition in japan for people to get kfc during christmas HELP)

NOBARA FUMI SAORI REUNION AT LAST !!!!! fumi being unsettled by panda (he probably catches on at some point and starts messing with her on purpose)😭😭 saori not batting an eye like the true city girl she is 💪💪 nobara being very!!!! obvious!!!!! abt maki but its so sweet tbh

(SATORU'S ROMANTIC ESCAPADE BEING TRAUMATIZING FOR HER HELP 💀💀🙏🙏🙏🙏BUT ALSO GOOD FOR HIM I THINK)

I LOVF THE YUKI APPRECIATION IN THIS CHAPTER OMG I STAN OUR CLEANLINESS QUEEN ( I TOO CANNOT STAND THINGS NOT BEING CLEANED IMMEDIATELY I LOVE HER FOR THAT) GETO DESCRIBING HER AS "BEING LIKE A CHILD" 😭

THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST SO SWEET OVERALL OMG

JDHFSJDHSJSJ HELLO YOU ARE VERY SLAY!!!!

It is over and that makes me very sad but reading all of this has made me extremely happy so tyyy <3333 And now I wish I could draw because that image of like Yuki and the kids as ducks crossing a road is going to be forever engraved in my brain and I love that!!!! Omg. She's truly embarrassing yes she is, poor Nobara man she has to deal with that but in return Yuki has to deal with HER so .... idk who is more stressed out.

And omg I was rereading Todo's scenes in the manga right and volume 5's extras say that he always smells nice and it bothers the girls at the Kyoto school and I was just like mmm why would it bother them??? So that's where the axe thing came from kshdfkhasSDJ not to mention the extra also says he's mad at the rule that bans idols from dating because he wants to marry Takada RIGHT NOW (literally Gege's words, not mine) This man is so unserious that girl is clearly gay but anyways. Teenage Yuki having an axe body spray phase... no words. That has killed me. But !!!!!! I'm actually so glad that part was your favorite because I was kicking my feet twirling my hair writing it I found it hysterical sdkfhds

And I wondered if anyone was going to mention stsg with the KFC thing SDHGFASJFGD listen. They have appropriated that in this fandom but I'm taking it back. It's normal ok?

Stoppp Panda messing with Fumi SDHSDJF that is so real. Mannnnn like always your asks just make me laugh my ass off. In regards to Geto and Yuki I am obsessed with the idea that Yuki just has fun in her time off and she's just like. very chill. likes to party. And Geto's like... a boomer who goes to sleep at 7pm and complains about jetlag. LMAO.

ANYWAYS thank you for this!!!!!! Seriously puts a smile on my face :D :D I'm glad you enjoyed it and so happy you take the time to send me these because SDJGEISAKFS

#SERIOUSLY TYYYYYYYY SDKFJSFKSJD you are the best!!!! #long post #ish? #putting this under a cut to not annoy the ppl who are going to like. have ZERO context on this and think we're deranged #fic talk

[lillllbabygirl]

i just really can't take this anymore. any of it. i'm like. done. i am just done. and i am tired. i am so fucking tired. i have this constant headache. i'm fighting so fucking hard no body has any fucking idea how hard i am fighting just to keep fighting, and i am so fucking tired, i am truly just so fucking tired, i can barely take it anymore. i just don't know what to do anymore. i truly can't live a life like this. i can however so 100x better, but no ones given me the chance, nothing's giving me the chance, nothing is letting up. off of my fucking back, and i can't carry all this shit alone anymore. i want forward, but everything's BELIEVE ME, everything's bringing me back, and i can't take it anymore, i really... just can't. i'm the strongest, toughest, most unforgivably hopeful and driven, and solution seeking person i know, and have ever known by far. i truly truly fucking care when i say i care i mean that at least 10x more than you hear it, and i am so tired i can't even have room for my own thoughts anymore, i don't feel like me, i feel fucking used and disgusted with myself and the person that lays here right now, and everyday, is nothing but me, and nothing of a lack of trying and caring and trying to be just as genuinely me as any other fucking day since day 1, since the start. but there are so many days that go by now where i am completely stepped on, and disregarded, and left out of everything that seems like normal and functioning, and social, and just existing, and i'm truly, GOD, I AM TRULY SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT. i just want to be a person and idk why that seems so difficult to me because i have never stopped trying with every inch of me, and i just don't get why i am going no where. i've tried DETACHING, IVE TRIED EVERYTHING AND NOTHING MY POINT IS, I KNOW NO BODY IS GOING TO SAVE ME BUT ME BUT I DIDNT EVEN FUCK MYSELF IN THE FIRST PLACE AND I DIDNT FILL MY PLATE UP LIKE THIS I DIDNT MAKE THE STUPID DECISIONS THAT OTHER PEOPLE MADE FOR ME AND FUCKED ME SO SEVERELY AND ITS TRULY THE SADDEST THING TO SEE MYSELF LIKE THIS BECAUSE I AM REALLY STRUGGLING AND SUFFERING AND FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS NOT EVER STOPPED DOING THAT I KNOW YOU CANT IMAGINE WHAT ITS LIKE FOR ME BECAUSE EVERYBODY I KNOW AT SOME POINT HAS HAD A FUCKING BREAK BUT MY INCREDIBLE AND MOVING AND UNBELIEVABLY RESILIENT STORY AND IMMOVABLE SELF IS SO FUCKING TIRED LORD GOD SOMEBODY JUST READ THIS AND KNOW THAT I AM SO FUCKING TIRED AND TRULY FEEL ME AND EMPATHIZE WITH ME PLEASE BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS LONELY AND I DONT NEED ATTENTION I NEED FUCKING HELP AND IM DONE WITH JUST OF GETTING STARTED ASKING AND IM DONE PUSHING SO HARD TIRELESSLY AT THESE WALLS CLOSING IN ON ME AND IM DONE SELF LOATHING AND IM DONE SELF PITYING AND CRYING AND CLIMBING BUT REALLY JUST CLAWING AT THESE WALLS FOR A WAY UP OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOLE THAT NO BODY SEES AND IM SO TIRED OF BEING SO FUCKING SEEMINGLY OPEN AND HAPPY AND OKAY AND FORGIVING AND UNDERSTANDING AND TOLERANT AND FUNCTIONING AND SEEMING LIKE I AM SURVIVING ALL THIS BULLSHIT BECAUSE IM REALLY REALLY REALLY JUST FUCKING NOT I AM AN AMAZING SMART TALENTED PERSON BUT ALL THOSE ADJECTIVES MEAN NOTHING WHEN THIS IS WHAT I LIVE WITH THESE FUCKING HUGE ASS WALLS WHILE EVERYTHING SEEMS OUT IN THE OPEN AND GOOD AND OKAY AND ITS REALLY JUST NOT! ITS NOT OKAY? I AM NOT OKAY AND I HAVENT EVER BEEN okay OR good, AND THATS ALWAYS THE FUCKING ANSWER YOUVE HEARD FROM ME BECAUSE ITS AUTOMATIC BUT TO BE REAL WITH YOU I HAVEN'T EVER MET SOMEBODY WITH WALLS AS BIG AS MINE AND IS STILL SURVIVING DOWN HERE WHILE STARVING ITS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE AND THIS STRES IS KILLING ME AND I DONT CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS. I DONT CARE. I AM TIRED. I AM AWAKE. THERES NO DIFFERENCE, IN THE START AND FINISH OF THE DAY TO ME IM THIS TIRED CONTINUOUSLY, IM THIS HURT ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND IM SO SORE AND I FEEL SO FUCKING FULL OF SHIT FOR TRYING TO BE OKAY ALLLLLL THIS MOTHER FUCKING TIME WHEN I DONT EVEN HAVE A SENSE OF FUCKING TIME SO WHATS THE POINT IN SPENDING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE? EVERYTHING IVE WANTED FEELS LIKE ITS GONE TO ME AND EVERYTHING

I AM FEELS LIKE IT WEARING AWAY. AND FOR GODS SAKE I AM SO FUCKING TIRED.

but today, just like any other day, i go to sleep feeling sleepless and wakeless at the same time, and ready for the end of the day to start at the beginning again. and somebody not to hear me whining about how i truly feel, because i'd rather secretly wither away, than stare sympathy in the face of the people i just want to say, they're proud of me, and for me to really agree and feel that way because of the accomplishments i've made. no more sitting in place, begging for a damn thing, but providing things to show how i truly feel and who i am today is something to be mattered with. idek if thats a fucking word, but fuck it, means something, i'm too tired anyway, i've said, and done enough now. no this is not a suicide letter, how could i kill myself, when i'm already otw. anyways. fuck this. shit. goodnight/goodmorning. & welcome to my world, & a little time incomprehensible piece of my head. you're welcome. :) congratulations.

#im crazy apparently #hi

[1d1195]

UM HELLO YOU DIDNT JUST TEASE ME WITH THEIE ALMOST FIRST KISS!?!?! HOW CAN YOU DO TAHT!?! I DONT hate you tho lol I LOVED IT!!!! Physics part 5 was just so sweet yet it hit close to home. I surprisingly relate to a lot of your MC’s and it hasn’t happened a lot with other things I’ve read yet you seem to nail it! I felt so much for bc she has yet to truly see how she IS WORTHY of being loved especially by Harry! But dont blame her! Bc I would think the same if a college aged Harry was even associated with me lol my girl is so oblivious (twins tbh) but she deserves so much! And THE KITTEN NAME DROP(idk if it was the first or not) but AHH SOULMATES! And the hot Chocolate bar MY HEART THAT WAS SO SWEET! I would absolutely DIE if someone did that for me. But omg my heart was feeling so much for her because I know I’m repeating this so much by she is worth so much more than she thinks! And AHH I NEED ANOTHER PART!!! Oh and the divider you added was so cute!

Also I’m sorry you’ve been having such a hard time :( I just hope you’re allowing yourself to feel it out and hopefully you’ll feel better and you’ll have better days :) lovely and wonderful update as always!-💜

I'm so in awe that it seems like you've read every story of mine. 😭😭😭 You always seem to know everything about all of them and it truly warms my heart 💕

I very much DID tease their first almost kiss (tbh I like the build up more. I feel like I describe kisses all the same way in all of my stories and it makes it very redundant and boring. But I also don't want to say "and they kissed" ya know?) I think if I ever write another part it leaves it a little more open about where I can pick up from and how I can proceed forward.

I think we'd be bff's in real life and that's why you relate to my MCs--I also vibe with my MCs probably a little too much (whoops). The hot chocolate bar came out of nowhere hahaha but I thought it was cute as well. (Def not the first time he's called her kitten, but it's okay. I think it was obvious they were/are soulmates).

AHHHH I'm really excited I made a whole bunch of dividers for all future/current/older (2022/2023) stories and I think they're cute so I'm glad you like them! I have to go back and add them to their other parts! I know they're not like crazy amazing or anything but I really liked making them and thought they were kinda cute! 🙈🙈

As for me I'm doing fine. I'll survive. I don't have any other choice, lol. It really makes my week to chat with you so I hope I can continue this two-post per week thing. I feel like I might struggle with this coming Monday. But not a lot of people talk to me so it means a lot that you consistently read and write me a message. It means the world to me 💕

xoxo

#💜 #physics

[chaninfused]

furat i dont think you have like the slightest idea how i felt when i saw that you posted a new story. didnt felt this great feeling here in tumblr in a loong time 🥺🥺

not my first time sending feedback but i dont know if you remember me because the last time i did not put an emoji in my name nor i showed my username because im very shy 😅 but im a truly huge fan of your writing 🥹 like for the last three/four years ive read All your stories. and from the bottom of my heart, i truly love them all 🥲🩷 i think you have a creativity and way of words out of this planet, amazes me how gracious and beautiful your stories are… seriously i was so so excited when i saw this huge ass 60k fic for me to enjoy… it felt like the best gift 🥰🥺

fr vivid is AMAZING. i could say is your best fic so far but i think that everytime you release something… sit (which i still think about the last part until this day) and danse macabre are so precious to me that they feel like my own children… 🤕 i cherish them very much but this one physically hitted me. i was cold sweating reading the fight scenes… urghh you are the stories master and im very thankful for that 🙌 and lee minho god bless him everyday of his life 😭😭😭🙏 im reminded again that im crazy over this man. like seriously to this day i still did not recovered from danse macabre minho like damnn 🫣 and that short fic of seungmin makes me go Feral Of Cuteness

wanst my intention to got this far but i really wanted to say those things to you… furat youre the best at what you do 🫶 and idk just dropping the idea but you totally should continue your Dad Minho sequel thing.. i would love to see something for this universe! 👀😆

thank you for your great job and i hope you a lovely day, week and month 🤗🩷🫂

anonnie I don’t think you have the slightest idea how I felt reading this ask 🥹 it’s actually the sweetest thing ever, truly, thank you so much! ♥️♥️

it shocks and amazes me every time I hear that someone has been reading my writing for so long like how?! my silly little blog?? I’m just so eternally grateful 😭😭💕 and your feedback is so sweet and generous, thank you, really !!

I say this all the time but I’m really happy to know that you enjoyed vivid !! I enjoyed writing it myself and it’s honestly my dearest work at the moment (I feel like I sacrificed part of my soul in those 62k words 🥲) so it truly means so much to know that others have enjoyed it 🤧

also PLEASE I never noticed it but now that you point it out — in all of my minho fics he did become a father in the sequel 🧍🏻‍♀️ what a funny little coincidence HAHAHAH (jokes aside; I did have an idea for a short sequel for vivid but I did not intend to make them parents yet 😔 in my mind, I think they would have a child a little bit later in life because you know…mc’s trauma and all 😭 but who knows! the general idea I had for the sequel was their journey of healing so 👀 (but that is also totally dependent on whether or not I actually want to write a sequel😭))

anyway, anon you truly made my day with your lovely feedback !! you honestly flatter me, I don’t deserve all this praise 🥹🥹 thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, and I hope you too are having a wonderful day, week, and month !! 🫂♥️♥️♥️♥️

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #anon ur so cute this is so cute 😭😭😭 #hsjshsjs thank u again for reading <33 #anon #sundooq 💌 #alwan 🌈

[keepthesethoughtsinsideyou]

2/25/2023

So this is probably an awful idea. But when you were getting married and then having your honeymoon, i wrote letters to you. that i didnt send to you. i think i only had 3 or 4 days worth of them. But I have no clue when i will ever speak to you again. And like, speak speak. Not some short text. I'm very torn on everything. my heart, is shattered. truly. But you know. At least I have to think you know. Maybe you have like, been able to trick yourself into thinking i never cared. or idk. i just dont know Courtney. I am sorry that i felt this was planned. you did admit it was, after comparing me to Chad first of course. But planned in that, yo. i cant take this. its fair and justified. Maybe the Chad comparison was fair too. idfk. It also makes me hate myself more than I ever thought I could. i have been crying so much today that i have no concept of time. I am glad that at least you have had a wonderful Saturday. Out of town with a friend. Seeing a hopefully enjoyable movie. I was left to morn my dead Dad and now the most important relationship ive ever had. idk if youll ever read or see any of these. And christ i dont want to come off bitter or angry. or anything. I know that i hurt you already. fuck. i hurt you so much that you were like, peace dude. im just, shocked? i dont get how we are video chatting and opening gifts and i bought a hotel for us. To meet up in a crazy thing where I had no plan as to HOW things were gonna work. But my love and need to see you bypassed any real worries. It's crazy how this relationship brought that out of me. I think looking back at things, I was still a bit of a stick in the mud comparably. But you definitely brought something out of me that was crazy and off the cuff. I liked it. I wish i could save things. I wish this was like that early time when you broke things off and then like 2 days later came back and said you couldnt be without me. I'm not religious but I am hoping there are some sort of synchronicities or coincidences that send you back to me. I didnt expect you to not break up with me just because it was my dead father''s birthday. That would be manipulative. You broke up with me just the other day and I cant even tell you WHY. I remember alot of you telling me how YOU had negatively effected my life. And i deserved better and whatever. But i just wanted you. I told my mom that I have never loved someone like i loved you, and I never will again. I didnt know I was capable of love like this. I wont ever find it again. This message sucks cause its all over the place and im not making much sense or keeping a consistent tone. the barbed comments I would make. Back handed shit. god, they are all i can fucking think about. I cant imagine how differently things wouldve been if you hadnt immediately started having sex with new people. my brain just cant Courtney. How can you love me, want a future with me, want children, a home. But then as soon as you are single, its not me. Its not me at all. It's someone else. It really fucked with my head. And honestly, i just think I am a square. I have never hooked up with anyone in my life. I have only had sex with people I had relationships with. And the concept of sex outside of that is not only unappealing to me, but kind of grosses me out. Thats for me. I get people are into their own things and I dont judge. But being faced by someone who can say all this lovey dovey bs to me, and go fuck another man. And theres no connection? its just sex? whats the big deal? well, thats where my brain goes insane. I've never felt good enough or worthy of you. And for you to immediately shack up with someone NOT me while saying different things to me, it really fed into that insecurity. But thats me right? its MY insecurity. So who would you be to respect or acknowledge that. You are a young single woman who can finally go out and experiment and find yourself. Neither me or anyone else should stand in your way of that. But god dammit did it break my heart. And your ability to seemingly never think of me and my feelings just solidified mentally that i was not good enough. i was not worthy. and maybe worst of all, I was not your first choice. i lashed out with my words. my tone. things i said. how i said that. ugh. i wish...i wish i couldve just been your supportive friend. YASSS QUEEN! GO EAT SOME PUSSY! there are moments when i can be cool. But the uncool version of me surfaced his ugly head far more often as more of your experimentation took off. It just blows because, this only got bad once this started. Prior to that, i feel like things were wonderful. But i am probably sugarcoating things post mortem. i regret ever telling you i had bipolar disorder. i regret ever telling you about my anxiety disorder. Because in breaking up with me, they were both brought up. Negative is negative though. Just sucks feeling like you arent good enough from the get go and then being made to feel like you are broken and needing fixing. I dont know alot of people who would be okay with the love of their life fucking other people. Especially when that same person has told you they want you over anyone. But then when you try to plan a future together, those conversations go nowhere. So idk. Too much too soon I guess. I know that no matter what negative things i may think of the situation, I know I am at fault. I couldnt handle the pressure of being with a poly person. And I especially couldnt handle it when it seemed like the plans to experiment and have sex with other people superseded our plans that we talked about of a future together. But as i said, I know i am wrong. I am the villain. I think of some of the things i said to you in the days following you telling me Andi was coming there to get a hotel so you 2 could fuck. And christ. my tone. the meanness. i know i can change. i know it. maybe you'll change too? But maybe some of your negative qualities will change in your period of experimenting. who knows? all i know is each hour that passes and I cant talk to you breaks my soul. as much as I am sure you would prefer me checking my insurance to see if i could get therapy and medicated, i am afraid i am looking into seeing if it will cover me committing myself. Because I am genuinely unsure how i can go on. All i can think about is taking a bunch of Ativan and walking out into the woods and falling asleep and never waking up. Which in my present state I can realize is not good. The issue is, between the hotel i JUST bought us Thursday, and the hotel I bought us for your visit here in April, that's over $900 i charged that's non refundable. If I commit myself, I will lose my job. Outside of hotel money, i am just in debt in general too. So i feel so fucking stuck. None of this matters though. I just want you back. I don't care about money. I don't care about who else you have sex with. i just want my angel back. i can and will change. And I am TERRIFIED because per you,  you are a serial monogamous relationship person. I want to change so you will love me again. I want to change so you can feel comfortable with your heart with me. But what if it takes to long? And you're already on to the next one? idfk. But my soul is crushed and i feel like giving up. I'm back to where I was before we met. The difference is now i have the pain and grief of losing my cosmic lover. My partner the universe brought into my life. How does one cope with such a loss? How does one live knowing they lost a love that was unlike anything they've ever experienced. I don't know. i do not want to live a life without you in it. 

[missmeinyourbones]

Do you write for jjk as well? if so could you do the jealousy prompt with Yuji, Megumi, Gojo, Nanami, and Inumaki?

yes i do! thanks for requesting this!

DISCLAIMER: all characters that i write for are always aged up from their canon ages. as a 21 yr old woman i will not be writing about 15 yr olds LMFAO so my headcannons are for college-aged characters :)

ok so yuuji exudes golden retirever bf! energy. like he is the absolute cutest. so i think that he would feel really guilty if you were ever jealous of someone talking/flirting w him. i see you guys out at a bar or something and maybes he's getting you guys drinks and the bartender is not so subtlety eyeing him up and down and laughing a little too hard at his jokes. he'd probably be super polite but try to dip out of there ASAP, running over to you all "omfg ur never gonna believe what that bitch was doing!!! does she not know i'm obsessed w you????" he's the best boy

megumi does not understand jealousy from ur pov, but if the roles were ever reversed he would be so mad LMFAO. like he truly does not give people the time of day when they are attempting to flirt w him. when you get jealous he's like "....why would you be jealous of someone i don’t even know.....when i'm literally going home with you....." like its just not clicking for him LOL. but the SECOND someone is up on you, touching ur arm or checking u out, he's standing behind you straight faced like 😐 and he suddenly understands

gojo is a WHORE. he physically cant help it. its the sagittarius in him. his aura and warmth is so naturally welcoming and addictive so wherever he goes people are ON him. the grocery store, the post office, fucking starbucks, wherever he is, he is being oogled at. and he LOVES making you jealous. hes all smirks and raised eyebrows while he watches you watch him. smiling at the barista who compliments his rings. helping the woman at the store reach something on the top shelf because "he's just so tall, its insane!" he purposely does all of this to piss you off, just so you guys can go home and he can be a big annoying baby like "ur jealous? huh, i didnt think you liked me that much" shut UP whore.

nanami doesnt read social cues LMFAO like he is not registering that this woman at the bank is flirting w him. it takes you being a little snippy and closed off for him to be like "wait... is this because of the woman at the bank?" to which you go off on him and his clueless agenda lol. he doesnt see the point in jealousy since he is well aware how whipped he is for you. probably would be extra nice to you for the rest of the day like "darling, i made you a coffee :)" as a peace offering for you to be clingy again

inumaki has a little too much fun when ur jealous. like idk why everyone hcs him to be shy and passive i think hes a little bitch when he is comfortable with you. you being so jealous over the attention that hes getting so you become really touchy/possessive like sitting on his lap, rubbing his forearm, kissing him extra. he is eating this up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!!! its times like this when hes like huh maybe i should make them jealous more often and then when ur home and giving him the cold shoulder, he isnt having fun anymore LMFAO

hope you enjoy this! feel free to request some more :)

#jjk headcanons #yuuji headcanons #megumi headcanons #gojo headcanons #nanami headcanons #inumaki headcanons #yuuji x reader #megumi x reader #gojo x reader #nanami x reader #inumaki x reader

[hellbabyfromhell]

i unfollowed you, not because i dont like you, but rather because you have such trans girl swag that i just followed you for like... years without realizing you're not transfem and we have nothing else in common. i truly wish you the best of course but like... to me you're just some person walking around making posts and stuff.

ok?

it honestly bothers me that you followed me for years and you didnt like the content of my character or anything ive done and decided to now send me this saying “im just some person walking around making posts” because i didnt fit your image of who you thought i was. and it was entirely contingent on my gender and not any other thing about me? i am not a transfem, youre right, but 1. you also really dont know my history with gender and 2. its shitty that you went out of your way to tell me you were uninterested in any aspect of my personality other than my gender for years apparently. and you felt the need to inform me that you’re unfollowing me because i don’t fit your mental image of me….

you are just some person who treats people on the internet like they arent real, because you only care about a fictionalized image of them. you are like some person who thinks their opinion of someone is so important that they have to decree theyre unfollowing me in their askbox. im sorry you dont like me for who i am, but i guess i prefer that you’ve unfollowed because i dont want to be seen as someone else, someone imagined. (i think in some ways this is why perfect blue is so important to me) i want to be, i AM me, and thats all i can be. i am just some person walking around and liking myself (new development!) and sometimes other people do too, because of who i am as a person. this sort of thing drags me down, especially when i see it first thing in the morning, because it really bothers me when people send me these presumptuous and sometimes rude asks because they don’t think about the feelings of the person that theyre sending it to. so i guess all in all, if you are the kind of person who sends this sort of message, i truly wish you the best of course but i’d rather that people who actually like me for me follow me. i am a person, anon. this is really dehumanizing. in the future, please treat fellow internet denizens as human beings with feelings.

on that note, im sorry im replying to this and not my nice asks. this is kind of an anomaly and i don’t get stuff like this often. the nice asks, i like to keep them and look at them. honestly, sometimes when im at my lowest, i read them, and its like exp or spore food bits in the first stage. i truly appreciate how kind people are to me from the bottom of my heart. ive done a lot of work trying to bring myself back from having a horrible self image, because for so long i couldnt stand myself, and when i get a nice ask, its like adding a plate of armor to my knight-suit. i am feeling stronger than ever, and i appreciate and love every message and reply with all my heart. idk how to reply to replies sometimes but i read them all and they stay in my back pocket. i wish i could Like the replies. i just really appreciate how kindly people treat me and i cannot thank you enough. ive been through really tough shit the last 6 years and the dust is finally settling and everything is looking like itll be okay, and im touched whenever i get a kind message, because im grateful, truly, for people who have seen my highs and lows, failures and triumphs, and are so unrelentingly supportive. i wish i could express genuinely how much it means to me from the bottom of my heart. there are times when people here treated me much kinder than i would ever allow myself to at the time, and i really can’t explain how much it meant and still means to me. so thank you, a million times thank you. i started crying writing this part lol. i am just very beyond appreciative that i so infrequently have negativity on my blog. thank you to all the people who have stuck with me and sent me such kind things. i hope to keep making stuff and doing things and i hope it’ll entertain you and make you happy as much as doing those things makes me happy. lets be happy all together! thank you.

#sorry for the brick

[twopoppies]

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

#long post

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

#🎭🎪 #lol #anonymous

[love4hobi]

dont really want to add to the negativity but i just had to bring this up, last year when joon came live on his birthday he expressed his mixed feelings over the success of dynamite and said he’d been wondering how true the sentiment that music could overcome language boundaries was

he really!! came online and said it out loud! he was upfront about a topic that a good portion of us were wondering about

and i saw hardly anyone talk about it? of course joon seemed to have come to terms with his feelings by butter since he felt like he’d stopped taking shit during the interviews and stuff

but the way it was not at all talked about by the fandom. really

and this one thing is enough imo to tell us that they werent satisfied with dynamite either, if their solo work isnt enough proof

and hundred percent agree about them seeming tired, rather have them get a proper break than get a million performances of the same song

thank u for giving me the link i was really interested to hear what he said!! and even though i read your ask before watching it i was still surprised at how honest he was and i can also see why armys wouldnt be eager to bring up what he said lol. when he said

“"Music truly transcends every barrier like language" Even while I was saying that I questioned myself if I indeed believe this. Some songs are great even if you don't know the lyrics, songs made better by knowing them, and songs made worse. Lyrics of course are important in a song, but music is fundamentally aural. The auditory aspect and the especially the visual aspect of songs these days.”

idk i could be misunderstanding but to me its like yea how /could/ that statement be true if they were only able to finally get the billboard #1 with an all english song like if that were true black swan wouldve gotten the dynamite treatment she rightfully deserved! ✊ and that it doesnt really matter what their english singles sound like aurally as long as theyre in english :/ and then you didnt mention this but a little later when he said

“I still love music. Just walking and humming a tune makes me happy and still feel I can't live without it. But I still want to rekindle what I had before at first. That purity. Different from going back to my roots. Rekindle what I used to love what gave me mental satisfaction back then.”

that was just like. woah. i think that could be interpreted in different ways but in the context of dynamite/ the english singles i think its just really telling the fact he felt strongly enough to say that in a log posted to bangtantv… idk but thank u for bringing this up it was actually kind of reassuring to hear especially from him? because of course we dont know how they all feel about the direction theyve taken but its nice to hear from joon specifically like u said cus he mediates between them and the company and is more involved in producing n whatnot. but yea also like u said i feel like their solo work alone is enough reason to believe they may not be fully behind the songs theyve been putting out lately. like mono is one of my fav albums of all time its so beautiful, and obvi d-2 and hope world are just so amazing and well made as well, and so in my head its almost a little rude? that armies would just accept that dynamite and ptd and butter are the best the boys can do when theyve shown us in the past how much more dedicated they are to their passion than to put out generic pop songs. but then theyve also put out songs in the past that fit into that same sort of genre but are actually good.. like boy with luv? dimple? dna? run?? why not just make another song like that and then have only the lyrics written by someone else in english or something idek. but dont feel stupid for being upset it is really frustrating just because we know how much better they are and its annoying to watch them waste their time on the industry that will probably still not pay them any mind anyway :/ armies can stream obsessively all they want but theyre still just that, streams, and it doesnt mean the gp or the grammys or whoever is gonna pay anymore attention to them,,, so why not just go back to making good music ? :DDDD

#mail #negativity #omg i hope all that made sense lol but thank u for sharing ur perspective with me it actually made me a feel kinda hopeful #im anxious for the september/october cb to come to see what goes down