#i really needed to hear that

[saytrrose]

I hope this helps more than it hurts you've been through A Lot this is not in Any manner fucking normal in such a small time period while I know it sucks its completely normal you feel bad and unmotivated I know it doesn't fix anything to hear "No, you're completely fucking validated to feel god fucking awful" but I hope it Does put into perspective that you're going through something that would've had people give up the first time it went south you're very strong and I know being strong does not mean you're taking it in stride and you Want things to calm down so you don't have to be but you'll survive this one way or another take it from someone who has struggled more times than they can count at this point If and its if rn If you fail it is not Over the world will continue spinning and you'll wake up the next day and you Will find something else I know it fucking Sucks but you will get through this just take it a day at a time for now and break the big picture down to the finer details and Focus the best you can on what you think is priority we'll all be here rooting for you

Hhhh

#tysm man #I really needed to hear that #it helps a lot

[psychologicalwarclaire]

*Grabs thoughts about not having to have everything perfect, that you're amazing, it's going to turn out amazing no matter what, no one is rushing you, you're allowed to make mistakes, etc, and it is literally impossible for it not to be perfect because you could write the worst sentence in the history of sentences and we'd still love and and go crazy over it*

*shoves it into your hands and forces you to accept it*

YOU GOT THIS!!!!! IT'S OKAY IF IT ISN'T THE ABSOLUTE BEST CHAPTER YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN BECAUSE IT'LL STILL BE AMAZINGLY SOUL-CRUSHINGLY BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!

THANK YOU

#i really needed to hear that #thank you #cries #cookie crumbs #asks

[osamusbigtits]

Hi!🦊

I just wanted to send you some love since you’re one of my favorite blogs that I’ve followed for a while!

I absolutely love your posts and I could read your writing all day long to be honest

Even if you don’t feel it all the time, just know you are loved by at least one person on here and I hope I get to continue seeing your posts for a very long time🫶

Sincerely, Fox Anon

#thank you fox anon 😭😭😭😭 #i really needed to hear that #but also im tearing up at work now #bex thoughts #ask #anon

[maitanii]

a 7y/o boy spoke in class about his family and said “my grandma died last year and she was really old, but mom says that it’s beautiful that she got to live such a long and happy life” and i haven’t recovered

#I really needed to hear that #i need to know how beautiful it is for old people to rest in peace after a happy life #it always makes me really happy when kids deal with death that way you know? respectfully and knowing that it’s alright

[callumsmitchells]

“grief does different things to different people” max bowden i love you

#i really needed to hear that #fuck the idea that everything has a system and by 6 months you should be cured #that’s not the case at all

[moongieart]

your artstyle is the sexiest thing on the planet.

OH my god?? OMG?? No stop that's.... that's so kind I'm??? Thank you so much ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ♡

#i really needed to hear that #thank you #im so flattered #i hope u have a great day #moongie answers

[ddagent]

You're wonderful!!

Thank you! <333

#renee561 #question time #I really needed to hear that #as I'm drowning in work atm

[rpf-bat]

crappy hit to kudo ratio doesn't mean shit, don't be mean to yourself! ❤️

because:

1. the way ao3 measures hits is fucked up, if people really liked it and reread it that would increase your hits and not kudos

2. people are cowards

3. kudos are an indicator of popularity, not quality!

Thank you, Alex. 🥺

#i really needed to hear that

[dindadjarin]

my dad told me something super important today and it just brought me to tears

#I really needed to hear that

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[yoel-o-fellow]

Your ocs are so interesting

Thanks so much, anon?? ;-; 💚 I'm really glad you think so! I will pass on the word to them, and of course it will go straight to their heads-

#i really needed to hear that

[roastedtomato]

Haha! I got an A+ on that essay I wrote at like 10:00 at night. I'm proud of myself. The teacher even came up to me and said it was really good TvT

I feel a bit better about my writing now.

#I really needed to hear that #i can die happy now

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[sergle]

You!! Hey you!! Are you looking for a pair of kittens? Do you live In Or Near Oklahoma? Do you wish you could listen to purring all the time? Do you want a cat that looks like an aye-aye?

long story short, we found these two kittens at the bottom of a garbage can!! I don't like to think about how they ended up in there- but we heard them crying while on a walk, and it's very lucky they were so loud! They were scared at first, but now they NEED to be snuggled at all times. Crazy how adaptable kittens are. I'd prefer to rehome them as a pair, but I'd consider adopting them out individually if that's my only option! Please IM me if you're interested in both/either of these babies, or if you have any questions at all!!

#reblogs would of course be appreciated #kittens #cats #sergle.txt #WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN EVERYBODY LAST TIME IT WAS CHALUPA NOW IT'S TWITCH AND CHAT #please please please take these cats from me I swear to god. you will love them. something clicked in their heads and now they LOVE people. #I'm telling you right now that adopting cats as a Set is the best idea. there's no better way to have two cats that Get Along #and you get to watch them play. and bc they keep eachother company they can handle being left alone for chunks of time #Chalupa really needed all hands on deck but I actually think someone who works full-time could have these two no problem #because they keep themselves occupied if you leave them alone but are ecstatic when you're around #source: they are upstairs rn to keep them separate from our Resident Cats and I hear them galloping around all the time while they play.

[starbuck]

reading and watching “classic” books and films is such an interesting experience because, before you get into them, when you only know them by name and maybe the vaguest plot outline, they’re intimidating and stuffy and up on a pedestal, but then you finally take the leap and check them out and realize that almost every story that’s achieved such a legendary level of popularity did so because something in its emotional core reached out and grabbed a lot of people by the throat and you are NOT immune.

#not that anyone but me probably needs to hear this but… #it’s OKAY to have Big Feelings about popular things #they’re popular for a reason - it makes sense to have a big reaction #but yeah - i should really know by now but i’m STILL floored every time i read or watch a classic and it Gets Me #like. this story has been Getting people for decades or centuries or MILLENNIA and yet STILL i’m surprised #‘i didn’t think the story would Get me’ says man about story that’s Gotten everyone who’s ever heard it

[pokeberry5]

(who's gonna save you, hero?)

i love whump fics where tim ends up on the ropes alone and doesn't know if anyone's gonna reach him in time

i really really love leonardo romero's inks and jordie bellaire's colors from the "i am the gun" mini telling the zur-en arrh backstory (in batman issues #128-130), so this is another loose style study

i had this frame in mind specifically, altho i couldnt quite commit to the hard inks

ALSO the concept was loosely based off the issues in legacy ('tec (1940) #698-99) where tim goes undercover and then gets nabbed by lockup and his comm cuts off in the middle of telling nightwing what's going on, which also gave us this great (but misleading) cover

#it's about HIS COMM CUTTING OUT MID SITREP oR cutting them off!!! on purpose bc he doesnt want his family to hear him die #when theyre TRYING TO GET TO HIM #tim drake #sart #dc #i really need to get my hands on the collected failsafe volume #also #i am once again asking you to read batman: legacy #(the way i psyched myself out of working on this for like a month+) #i did give him internal bleeding this time haha