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suffarustuffaru · 7 months

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actually here’s an interesting question that’s been in my head for a hot minute now: what do you think a crusch if/other faction if would look like?

one of my favorite characters has always been crusch (probably my favorite aside from julius?), and interestingly it was the moment after the battle of the white whale that sold her for me- her convo with subaru was so genuine and full of respect and it since then has stood out amongst my favorites since it’s one of the first times subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized for his decisions ^_^

it also piqued my interest because there’s definitely implications/said somewhere that if subaru met crusch first he’d choose her, which makes me think about how that dynamic would play out, ya know? like we haven’t really gotten a huge expansion on crusch herself as we have with anastasia/pricilla and soon felt

also a crusch: if would toootally have different relationships defining wilhelm & felix too and basically everyone else lol

love ur analyses keep up da good work fam!!!!!!!

YO its cool seeing a crusch fan around :DD !! also thank you very much for liking my analysis posts pfft. also whew….. ive been writing my answer for this ask on and off for a while hah its super long oops wkdndnsn

but ok its super interesting to hear what drew you to crusch in the first place - crusch is a character im definitely interested in (i would LOVE to see her finally expanded upon!!) and shes such a respectable person for sure <3 and you definitely have a point that its one of the first time subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized!! though i didnt know that there were implications that if subaru met crusch first he'd choose her - i suppose that makes sense in that subaru really respects and likes crusch, and hes such a moldable character - for lack of a better term - bc its sooo easy for him to go in all sorts of different directions. a crusch if is an interesting possibility and im sure it absolutely wouldve happened in some form in some other universe :O !!

alright. as for a crusch if - yeah youre right, thered be such a different dynamic between subaru, the crusch camp, and everyone around them. :o im not Entirely sure how a crusch if would go but i certainly have ideas!!! though im not sure if im entirely an expert on them given i still havent finished the wilhelm-centric ex novels or read many crusch camp stories, but i did read ex 1 and 4 and enjoyed them quite a lot <3 along with you know, the main route. but i do really like the crusch camp and i hope theyre expanded upon eventually.

gonna put More thoughts under the cut (note that i have a Lot of opinions on the crusch camp hah):

ok first of all. i think that the crusch camp Does have a little wasted potential in canon and i think that crusch if is the perfect opportunity to explore Everything with crusch camp. just in the sense that you know, crusch hasnt been expanded upon just yet. not that felt has been expanded upon much either but at least we get a lot of details about her and her whole backstory with being a member of the royal family + her relationship with rom opens itself up to a lot of possibilities (theres a lot of History going around in the felt camp regarding felt, reinhard, carol and grimm, rom, etc being in the same camp given their family connections, demihuman war history, etc).

and not that we Dont get details about crusch of course, but i feel that even in her Own centric content, shes a little overshadowed by Everyone else sometimes. like i WANT to focus more on crusch as a person!! she gets cool moments yeah, but as much as i enjoyed reading ex1 im forever gonna be salty that her plot in ex1 was like about people having problems with her gender expression (ill go into this again later bc i know its connected to that plot point of crusch as a noble leader vs crusch as. a woman.) for more than half the runtime and everyone around her was discussing about what to do with her. and then in main route shes put through the RINGER between being cut down by gluttony, having her memories erased, and the dragon blood in arc 5 - and yet it STILL feels like the story doesnt focus enough on HER own pain. how is SHE feeling about this????? shes getting her shit rocked left and right and her sense of identity is being shaken along with it (see: her becoming more shy and withdrawn after her memories are gone) and yet i feel like we STILL dont hear about her Directly enough T^T

and also i Dont like that in the main route, the crusch camps connections to the royal family (with wilhelm being assigned to aid the royal family and bc of that heinkel was assigned to the white whale and so theresia went in heinkels stead + ferris and crusch's relationships with fourier) ARENT that explored. esp when like felt comes into play publically in arc 3 and the crusch camp BARELY REACTS. YOU THINK THEY WOULD REACT MORE TO FELT BEING HERE AND REINHARD SPONSORING FELT. its especially kind of painful after you read ex1 and its like ?? so why didnt they react more to felt being there??? related to + looking exactly like crusch and ferris's dead boyfriend, nonetheless, esp when their goal is to kill the dragon bc the royal family all died as far as they knew and NOW theres someone in the royal family that actually lived???? whos a rival for the throne now??? also i feel like the potential of like. ferris and wilhelms dynamic isnt explored either. like i have to wonder how they seem like theyre on decent/good terms in canon when ferris is friends with reinhard, wilhelms role in the demihuman war, and also wilhelm fucking up his family (with ferris being Aware of a lot of reinhards family situation, of course). and also of course wilhelm has Things going on with rom and carol and grimm bc demihuman war... ex novel things...

so like i think that inherently the crusch and felt camps ARE kind of sort of intertwined in this way bc of ALL these reasons. so i think if youre exploring crusch camp content all of this SHOULD be acknowledged. or maybe thats the felt camp fan in me talking but i DO GENUINELY THINK THE CRUSCH AND FELT CAMPS ARE CONNECTED A LOT ☝️☝️☝️

and so ok back to crusch if things!!!! i have no idea how the Exact plot goes but like i think this is all very dependent on how the crusch if divergence even starts. which Makes sense but yeah :o i mean i feel like i can only see it happening right from the get go in arc 1. and also this goes with what you said - if subaru met them first he'd probs choose to join them. but tbh i also kinda sort of like the possibility that maybe at least Some of arc 1 still happened in another font so subaru can be like "yeah lol this blond girl with red eyes was there along with this giant dude and t -" and crusch and ferris are thinking "OK IT COULD BE ANY RANDOM GIRL WITH BLOND HAIR AND RED EYES THATS NOT A COMPLETE GUARANTEE ITS SOMEONE FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY RIGHT??" and also wilhelms gonna vaguely go "hey whats this giants name again....." anyway yeah gotta plant those seeds for future plot things???? yes. also its a good segue into subaru learning more crusch camp related history yes. maybe that (subarus arc 1 info) is what allows him to join crusch camp too????? yeah im having trouble brainstorming ideas on how he even joins the camp but im guessing its a “subaru accidentally stumbles across stuff and crusch camp is like well i guess we just Kinda have to let you in……. like taking pity on a stray kitten…… maybe youll be useful… and also we do pity you a bit yeah you seem very lost” thing. 👍👍👍

(or alternatively you could have subaru branch off into crusch camp at arc 3 or smth given hes like actually physically at their place and away from emilia camp now but at the same time i doubt that could even happen given the position he was in arc 3???? like post-royal selection drama?? yeah i dont really see it happening imo HAH)

anyway. yeah so its like. inevitably subaru is gonna figure out you know the history behind all of the others in the crusch camp. like whether thats by doing his own research - especially bc you know wilhelm, crusch, ferris are all very well known by this point and have all kinds of rumors and info on them flying around - and also like. by getting closer with everyone. i think that if subaru joined crusch camp early, either he knows hes got rbd bc of arc 1 and manages to avoid it for a while, is my guess, given crusch camp doesnt get involved in life threatening things until. the white whale.

but until then i think subarus probably not gonna die. and i think hes probs gonna be in Fear of that happening again, maybe he blocks out a bit of arc 1 some more bc ahhaah i havent died or anything in so long so surely that never happened. maybe he tries to tell crusch once he gets closer with her or maybe he doesnt try at all bc hahaha did that even happen???? or maybe he asks her about her dp and if its Only about truths from that persons pov rather than Fact and shes like "yeah no its personal truths only, so even if someone is completely wrong about a fact but Believes it wholeheartedly its still gonna register as the truth" and hes like FUCK ok. smth like that?? yes. gotta give him inner turmoil even when hes not actively in danger. bc he Would have that yes. but either way i think he’d be curious and wanna know the specifics of her dp anyway!!!

yeah so anyway the white whale happens and subarus whole shit gets wrecked oops.... and my guess is that you know hes gonna loop a whole shit ton of times and its gonna be complete and utter hell for him. but also this is kind of a little bit dependent on how exactly the royal selection goes for him - but i HIGHLY doubt itd go the same as canon. i doubt he’d even make a scene, tbh—i mean assuming subaru joins crusch camp very early somehow, between crusch and ferris and wilhelm the three of them are gonna Really whip him into shape. metaphorically beat his s1 flaws out of him. bc like—i mean in canon subaru Did learn and grow yes, but he didnt Have to learn everything so harshly (ok but canon subaru Did have to get beat in the duel though or he wouldve died skcbsnd but i still think that subaru can still learn the same lessons more Gently whenever possible. hes a normal teenage boy trying his best!!). i think crusch camp would be good for him in this way, i mean crusch is a very duty-focused person and ferris and wilhelm are blunt people. ferris especially is not gonna take any bullshit wkdndnd (ESPECIALLY when subaru could humiliate crusch and the entire camp) and wilhelm sees himself in subaru and is gonna go “ah…….. you should. not act like that. let me train you.” and ALSO im a firm believer and enjoyer in the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship and i think that reinhard ESPECIALLY must have communicated with crusch camp about felt before arc 3, otherwise crusch camp wouldve had a stronger reaction to felts grand entrance into the royal selection. also if subarus getting closer to crusch camp then of course he figures out stuff like the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship.

again not entirely sure about specific plot beats but depending on how things go emilia camp may or may not get royally fucked (as an emilia camp enjoyer im very saddened by this 😔) but i DO feel like subaru would still be sympathetic towards them in a crusch if. and also theres Definitely gonna be at least one loop during arc 3 where the white whale Does erase crusch and wilhelm and ferris goes insane (like how they end up in pride if. yeah.) so subaru gets to see the consequences if they lose to the white whale. but i DO think that the final loop should still have the consequences of crusch being targeted by gluttony and losing her memories. its interesting to explore!!! especially if subaru himself still becomes a victim of gluttony in some way—maybe they both become victims of gluttony there?? or it happens to subaru later?? and i feel like arc 5 is Definitely another opportunity for some crazy looping. for sure.

also roswaal may want to try some shit bc Why is subaru in another camp this is not according to plan. so more opportunities to torture subaru 👍👍👍 and also crusch camp in canon keeps taking one L after another so you know. familiar territory in terms of how subaru and co are doing 😭😭😭😭

but anyway. i think a crusch camp and felt camp alliance (or Almost alliance?) is in order bc. well we know subaru he tries to fix things. hes nosy. he learns eventually All the crusch camp history and is like ok so why arent we allies with felt camp at least for rn??? like urging wilhelm to make it up with reinhard and such, etc etc. and crusch and felt are the candidates that are both Very deeply unsatisfied with the current system of lugunica and want to remake everything to be better!! and also like. how does ferris even feel about wilhelm. i lowkey want crusch if to have a plot beat where ferris-crusch-subaru metaphorically beat up wilhelm for being Terrible. actually scratch lowkey i want highkey. and i think crusch is just like yeah sorry i do respect you in a lot of ways wilhelm and youre a very key member in our camp and i appreciate it but also fighting against demihumans in the demihuman war + being awful to your family was definitely. 😬 ESPECIALLY since she grew up with ferris too okay. she and her dad literally took in ferris after being stuck in a basement for the first nine years of his life. and while ferris and reinhards family situations are Very Different, the common thread is generational trauma and Passed Down abilities/traits that also relate to the trauma so. i feel like ferris at Least has some secret strong feelings about wilhelm ok i dont care what tappei has to say on this (actually i do care but i will care less if tappei has a bad take on this bc ferris and reinhard are FRIENDS + WILHELM WAS WRONG FOR THE DEMIHUMAN WAR ok ferris was horribly abused also bc of fantasy racism).

and alright ok im gonna talk about some more crusch-ferris-subaru dynamics bc subaru and wilhelm are most likely gonna fall into their weird grandson-grandfather dynamic again. especially now that subarus in crusch camp.

so—gender expression. the way crusch-ferris-subaru dress and their relationships with this part of their identities. personally i hc all three of them as nonbinary but of course u can have different hcs/opinions than me :o either way though, gender expression is Very important to all three of them and its given focus in the plot multiple times so im gonna try to examine how its handled in canon a bit!! theres this one bit from the arc 5 wn that i think about a lot:

so you know, subaru has his internalized issues, toxic masculinity for one, so hes struggling with like. being a man but also like he genuinely enjoys crossdressing but also hes been judged for it in the past and he has?? complicated feelings on it. hes struggling with his identity and who he is in many many different ways and gender is one key aspect of it. and then he comes along and crusch and ferris BASICALLY challenge him and his internalized ideas on it—crusch being a woman who dresses more masculine and ferris being a man who dresses more feminine. they challenge even the fantasy world’s society too—crusch more so, bc shes a woman and in the public eye due to her family and shes expected to dress and behave the way a noblewoman should. more feminine. but she refuses which is a point of contention in ex1 of course…

ferris seems to get less scrutiny from the public on this (at least for This exact reason, we only see subaru iirc judge him for it on screen) but my guess is bc he 1. can easily pass as a girl and 2. he has other more Noticeable traits to the public (having the Blue title and being demihuman for example). but also theres another aspect to ferris and its that he also dresses femininely to represent “the feminine side crusch lacks” iirc…. which. to be quite frank thats. that feels a little odd to me but anyway im gonna choose to look into it a bit regardless bc i think it could potentially be interesting maybe?? but also the fourier-crusch duel in ex1 already felt off to me wkfndnd it was such a fun scene but like??? why are we policing what crusch wants to wear??? but. anyway.

so about ferris being “the feminine side crusch lacks”……. ferris and crusch's gender expression are completely opposite, ferris being feminine of course and crusch being masculine. ferris and crusch are very much like each others equal halves in canon - you dont find one without the other, theyre basically a pair (especially given they fit together into this perfect trio with fourier and now fouriers gone :(( ). ferris and crusch balance each other out in a lot of ways, especially given ferris's mischevious yet perceptive personality and crusch being more serious but a bit airheaded with emotional matters. and also both of them being more blunt honest people. so like their gender expression balances each other out bc theyre opposites. ferris wants to keep balancing out crusch, whos so focused on duty that her needs and her desires and emotions sometimes go by the wayside (id personally attribute at least a tiny bit of her airheadedness with emotions to this too - when you have so much responsibilities to attend to, your emotions often take a backseat. especially when you take into account people judging crusch for how she expresses herself....).

but also ferris does note that "because crusch-sama said this suits ferris, what i am, i am, and this most suits the radiance of ferris' soul. crusch-samas words, ferris will repay with everything that i am". im gonna interpret this as crusch recognizing that ferris truly likes to express his appearance in a feminine way and providing ferris with the means and support to do so, especially since crusch herself growing up also prefers to express herself as opposite to her biological sex and also bc crusch and her family took in ferris so they grew up together. which i think is very sweet <3

and also more regarding crusch, in canon she expresses herself more femininely after getting her memories wiped by gluttony........... i think there might (emphasis on Might) be vaguely a kind of "feminine=weak and masculine=strong thats why crusch goes back to being feminine after memories gone" undertone if you choose to see it that way but im Electing to ignore it. i think crusch's change in expression post-gluttony though like emphasizes how her identity gets shaken after her memories are erased. she was a confident person before and now shes more timid and withdrawn bc she isnt sure of herself or her abilities anymore :(( which is definitely smth that should be explored in Any crusch camp centric content, i think.

anyway. yeah also i def think the ferris-crusch-subaru gender things should be explored. its already briefly touched on in canon with stuff like that arc 5 wn snippet i shared, but i do think subaru being friends with ferris and crusch will help him with confidence regarding how he likes to express himself as well. which i think would be very sweet to explore <3 (sorry this briefly derailed into a ferris-crusch-subaru gender expression analysis but this part of their characters is important i feel aljdlfjsldfj and its SUCH good parallel between them)

as for general dynamics stuff between the three of them. i think ferris is on the fence about subaru at first and goes from "hes an idiot..." to "hes an idiot <3" i have no specific thoughts on this at the moment thats just the vibe thats probably happening. maybe a bit of the same with crusch but yes im sure crusch and ferris of course grow to respect subaru, and im sure they notice pretty quick that subaru wears his emotions on his sleeve. hes an honest person in almost all things, or at least he tries to be, unless hes being held at gunpoint to keep things secret bc rbd lajdlfjl. and we Know subaru is a very respectable person whos Really good at heart, he just had all these hurdles to get through. and also - subaru is a tiny bit similar to fourier in terms of like Loud, Passionate, Determined, kind of an idiot in a few ways but a Lovable one, that sort of thing. of course ferris and crusch are VERY MUCH not going to be replacing fourier. absolutely not they would never in a million years. but fourier like Really fit in with ferris and crusch bc of the three of them having different personality traits, so i think subaru would fit well with ferris and crusch for similar reasons. if that makes sense. the energies just match up. ferris and subaru particularly bring a lot of fun and lightheartedness and ease weight on crusch’s shoulders, crusch supports them both, and all three of them reel each other in in different ways <3

ok also regarding any romance............ personally i dont see the appeal of crusch x subaru but thats just me lajsdlfjls and also my heart got stolen by fourier x ferris x crusch oops. plus i do enjoy the ferris and subaru + subaru and crusch friendship possibilities. but if anyones reading this and is a fan of crusch x subaru feel free to send me propaganda for it bc im very curious as to what makes you really like the ship <3

yeah so anyway. this has been my extremely long explanation as to how crusch if could maybe go and also all sorts of stuff id love to see explored when it comes to crusch if or crusch camp centered content in general <3 its hard to tell how a crusch if would go further down the line bc you know, the more that changes from main route the more things go Different, but i think its fascinating to think about. hope this kind of answered your question op? :O :D !!

ok but as for other camps. i have absolutely no clue how itd go but ana camp would Definitely have to involve subaru trying to invent things that carry on from earth and such and felt camp Absolutely involves more trying to solve more astrea drama. no specific thoughts on this yet (ALSO I STILL HAVENT CAUGHT UP ON ANA CAMP SIDE STORIES... ONE DAY. I SWEAR.) but you know, lots of interesting possibilities here!! :O

#rezero #crusch karsten #ferris argyle #felix argyle #natsuki subaru #wilhelm van astrea #i always forget to tag both of ferris's names fr....#ask #tldr i really like crusch camp they got a lot of potential for exploration and i hope theyre explored more bc theyre very interesting <33 #and i think crusch and ferris sadly have their characters flattened a lot in english fic :((( theyre so fascinating they deserve so much #better #AND CRUSCH DESERVES TO SHINE EVEN MORE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES IN HER MOST BADASS MOMENTS

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 2 years

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I really hope the show focused more on learning lessons from every episode rather than just focusing on the action and subplots that in the end, won't mean anything

Even though both marinette and adrien do a lot and i mean a LOT of dumb shit throughout the show i found myself excusing them cause they're still teens (ofc i dont excuse how the writers wrote marinette as being a creepy stalker and trying to play it off as a "joke").

Wouldn't it have been much better if the two main leads learned from their mistakes after each episode ends?

Adrien has been constantly neglected by his abusive father, so watching him lash out emotionally or not knowing how to handle the situation properly, i can see it being a little excused imo cause he barely got any attention or affection. The only one who was there for him is now gone and he's mostly stuck alone with his thoughts. He only sees his friends everyday he goes to school and thats pretty much it (unless gabe lets him out every once in a while).

The show would've been much better if Marinette had been the one to emotionally support him, show him whats right and wrong instead of having her constantly lash out at him for every tiny mistake.

The two could've talked about their problems and slowly built their relationship from there, it would've been a much better show tbh if it took that direction. I know Adrien gets a lot of hate for the things he does but i cant really blame him for it, he doesnt have anyone to guide him, his father is barely there for him and he doesnt open up to natalie at all, the writers could've used his love and admiration for ladybug as a way for him to open up to her and tell her whats going on with him.

Maybe she can even help him learn his powers better, when to use it and whats the important time for it to be used. I know all the fights they went through are different but at least he would know how to restrain his powers instead of sometimes using it without thinking and just bolting in straight towards the villain.

It truly makes me sad, the show had many directions to take but it chose to be generic and bland and most of all what turns me off from watching the other seasons is its predictability. we know that no matter what the two go through, in the end they'll get together and thats it.

I hope the movie is somehow different since thats all i can look for now, i really want the two main heroes to interact more with each other instead of fighting villains and arguing every two seconds; i watched the first ep of s5 out of curiosity and im glad that ladybug didnt really get upset at him, idk how their relationship has been in s5 since i really hold no interest in it anymore.

It's a wasted opportunity sadly, i might have to look for fanfics cause those are the only ones that make me feel connected to them both.

What are your thoughts however? (And if you have any fanfic recommendations then pls throw em my way. I rly dont know what to start with)

I don’t think the whole “learn a lesson in every episode” idea is a bad one, but the way it’s handled here doesn’t work because the lessons never mean anything. The characters never grow as people, so the lessons feel superfluous as a result.

Like you said, these episodes could have been used to better build up the bond between Marinette and Adrien, and in my opinion, it would have made that scene from “Multiplication” feel more meaningful, because that way, it would make sense that Adrien would thank Marinette for everything she’s done for him.

As for the movie, it’s entirely possible that the show could pull a Ninjago and take influence from what their movie did in the later seasons, or expand upon certain ideas brought up.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #ml salt #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir

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e8luhs · 2 years

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since cataclysmalbound has been p much abandoned in favor of refactoring (i assume?), would u ever consider talking abt more of the plot of cb that you didnt manage to get to? or does refactoring borrow enough of the story that it would be too risky? im v curious abt the fate of the characters! also hi if youve noticed somebody listening to the cataclysmalbound playlists. that was me <3

THIS IS SO SWEET im actually shocked that people are still getting into cataclysmalbound or are at least remembering it fondly all these years later. like it wasnt THAT long ago in the grand scheme but it feels like its been such a long time since i was working on it. im glad that people can still enjoy what was put out :,,)

i dont think i would ever completely reveal everything i had written for cataclysmalbound from start to end, because first of all it is a little bit embarrassing to look at my writing from when i was 15 years old now that i am 20, and second of all with cataclysmalbound i had a plan for about half of it and was flying by the seat of my pants for the other half of it. which was just how my writing style was at the time, and thats definitely something that has changed a lot for me since then. but that just means a lot of things werent fully fleshed out so its kind of hard to share. probably a little disappointing for some #cataclysmalheads to hear but it is what it is

HOWEVER, here is some random trivia that i am okay with revealing as a treat

sebran was going to go grimdark at some point due to being exposed to the horror terrors (just lose it go crazy go stupid ahhhh). the whole sequence was going to be called sebrovania btw because lilia cantripped my friend lilia cantripped composed a track for that, called sebrovania of course, which you can listen to here. lilia is so fucking awesome for making this and other songs for cataclysmalbound by the way.

kapreo was going to become a rainbowdrinker. rivian was also going to godtier. fucking OBVIOUSLY vergas died at the end but i think that was pretty clear to everyone on the planet. yay <3

each act was going to be named after a tarot card, and the events that would take place during each act would correlate with the card. so act one was the fool because it was of course the beginning, but also because of everyones innocence around the true nature of the game until its too late. act 2 was the hanged man, act 3 was the tower. those three were the only ones i ended up figuring out cards for because i didnt know exactly how long i wanted cataclysmalbound to be

the base premise for the universe that refactoring is set in (vitium) came from my favorite arc that i had planned for cataclysmalbound where lyreni and vergas were going to both be warring via the code and altering reality through it as well. thats really about it though. i thought it would be cool to expand upon that. anyways see below for my favorite note about said arc:

refactoring really doesnt bear any resemblance to cataclysmalbound otherwise. at the very start of its creation, i did take some traits from the cataclysmalbound characters and used them as jumping off points for creating the new characters, but honestly 3 years down the line my brain guys have been developed SO far beyond those super initial concepts at this point that even i forget about their roots sometimes

so yeah. hope this helps and thank you for asking :)

#ask #BTW IM SO GLAD THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE OUT THERE CAN ENJOY THE CATACLYSMALBOUND PLAYLISTS STILL #600 songs... 600 songs i put together for those. im literally fucking insane

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fredrickzoller · 1 year

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How do you think they started hooking up? Due to Dieter internalised homophobia, I doubt he would makes moves towards a man who much more powerful than him in terms of career and rank. Maybe you wrote a story and I just didn’t read. Also I hope you aren’t tired of my questions, im on my “obsessed obsessed obsessed” phase of shipping rn loool

No, I love your questions, anon! I love getting to think about them all over again and I love hearing peoples' takes on them as well.

It took me a while because I can't really go into this without delving into the territory of non-con, and i have to be in the right headspace to like, dive into this. So, yeah, behind the cut because talk of non-con/sexual assault.

(Also, as a note, this is a very abridged version of everything because again I hope to expand upon it more in upcoming fics)

So in the timeline I have for Landstrom, they start hooking up in 1934 (as per "Tease Rough") shortly before the Night of the Long Knives. For those unfamiliar with the event, uh, quick and dirty is that basically Hitler wanted to purge anyone from his ranks he felt was undermining/against him/not conducive to his "vision" for Germany and that included his main homie, Ernst Roehm, who was as "out" as a gay man could be in 1930s Germany. (Like, secret-but-not-a-secret, you feel me?)

So like the point of this is, before Roehm was murdered, homosexuality within the SA and the SS was way more… I mean not "accepted" per se but it was just like, a blind eye was turned to it. Only after Roehm's death and Himmler taking over (the SA was dissolved and what was left was absorbed into the SS) did they start really cracking down on homosexuality within the organization, and then of course persecute citizens who "practiced" it.

In my hcs for Dieter, he joins the SS at a young age (18/19, so around its inception, which would make sense if he's already at major at 34) and at first he's thinking like, okay, discipline and purpose will help rid me whatever the fuck I got going on but then it's like oh. Wait. I can maybe find an advantage here.

For all his internalized homophobia, I think he is also quite audacious (as witnessed in how he interacts with Hugo and Archie, and he seems a bit flippant even with Goebbels, which is… lol probably not wise), and he knows he's attractive in a boyish way. So, yeah he doesn't necessarily proposition officers but he makes it very clear that he's available in exchange for however they might be able to assist him. He's young and reckless and arrogant. He does not think he will be caught or subject to punishment so long as he proves and ingratiates himself, in which case he will have protection (but you know, he's also not above selling people out if need be. I haven't a particular instance in mind but I can ABSOLUTELY imagine he'd play the victim if he were suspected of any of this, because of course he would. His whole life is about playing the victim wah poor me.)

But there's more to it - to him actively seeking out partners (including Hans).

And this is where the non-con/assault comes in. But my hc for him is that he's a victim of rape, his first "boyfriend" when he's 14 and his bf is 17 - and him putting himself out there to sleep with other superior officers to get ahead is yes, exactly what it says on the tin (getting ahead, whoring his way up the ranks) but also self-inflicted punishment, what he feels is deserved for what he "let" happen, and for this behavior he's letting rule him, unchecked. He does not like bottoming but he does it, accepts it, because he feels it's deserved - for this thing he doesn't really want to do (or, shouldn't want to do) but is doing anyway, this is his punishment. It's some fucked up shit that never really gets resolved (of course) and that Hans only sort of? pieces together because he only finds out certain details (about the boyfriend/the rape trauma etc).

As for who starts it, it's addressed in the 2nd chapter of "Preoccupied" that Dieter is the one to proposition Hans (very bluntly, might I add), and this is what draws Hans to him - just that he'd be so brazen about it. Of course, Dieter is a fucking moron and thinks that this means he has any sort of power over Hans, which we know is not true lmao. (Again, this is gone into, in Tease Rough, how Dieter thinks he's in charge and hasn't figured Hans out enough to realize it.)

Hans isn't the first man he tops with, but obviously Dieter is drawn to wanting to continue whatever the fuck they start, because he knows that will rarely, if ever, be an option. He doesn't have to relive the trauma each and every time, which, okay. Like good, I guess? In his mind, any way.

(Also, after Night of the Long Knives, Dieter definitely does not seek out other officers as partners, and lucky for him, many of the men he's been with [I say 'many' but I can't imagine it actually being more than a handful] he either does not see again or they are dealt with. Not all, but most.)

I just personally see Hans as being very turned on and intrigued by people who show that sort of audacity, because it's a nice challenge for him - very stimulating to try and figure out how to one-up them, in the end (tangentially, this is my hc for Hans and Bridget's tryst too, that he's drawn to her being able to keep up with him, banter-wise). I think Hans would be bored by someone who would just give in to his advances immediately, which I have him hinting at has been the case in the past with the few men he's hooked up with - that they submit to him quickly and he's just like yawwnnnn.

And part of the reason Dieter propositions him so confidentally is because he has a Source in re: to the fact that Hans enjoys being with other men.

And this Source will make an appearance in my next Landstrom fic. :)

#landa #hellstrom #ship: landstrom #cw rape #thank you anon!

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grimanonrexwrites · 2 years

Note

hi there!! im so sorry if this ask is out of the blue and i hope im not disturbing u!! but ive been lurking for a while (very very long time actually) and noticed that you used to? talk about hws gersu or gerswe…i

have been a long time big fan of them (i think theyre my otp tbh) and it seems that among the handful of blogs who used to acknowledge/make content of them, youre the only one i noticed to still be considerably active. recently ive finally mustered up the courage to be a bit more present here on tumblr and its been a lil hard for me because theyre my comfort pairing and gersu has very very little content lmao…so ig im just reaching out to see if you or anyone you know is open to talking about them :’))!! or making friends with someone whose brain will not shut up about them.

if it’s no longer your thing, im so sorry! pls just ignore this but do note that i absolutely adore ur writing (stumbled upon it when i very voraciously consumed everything under the gerswe tag on ao3👍🏽)

Hello!!

I’m sorry it’s taken me a couple of days to answer this so I hope you see this!

Firstly! Thank you so much for interacting and reading my stuff, it makes me so happy and I really hope you enjoyed it :D

I do still love Hetalia and GerSu, very much so. I’ve expanded my fandoms in recent months to things like Stranger Things but I definitely want to return to writing properly for Hetalia again too. I’ll be honest and say I hit a major writers block a few months ago and lost a lot of confidence in my writing: work was (and still is) taking up the greater part of my time, but I’ve found that now I’m getting back into writing again (shoutout to @nikitynakity and @captainwingdings ily both 😘😘) I’m feeling more confident and I want to continue on with the works I’d left on pause.

I had toyed with the idea of hosting a GerSu week last year, there was definitely some interest, and I think that it would be a cool thing to do still!

Have a great day 💕☺️

#hetalia #hws sweden #hws germany #stranger things

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rafesmuse · 2 years

Note

alright i’ll be sure to drop some hcs whenever i can, but always let me know if you need a pick me up too! the movie one is so strong in my head i’d probably drop a small blurb in the inbox 😂

literally, my music library is all over the place. i’d have kpop, songs from the 2000s, movie soundtracks and even classical ones! but i’m always open to listening to new genres :) i’m doing okay so far, just woke up and first thing i did was check your page hehehe. is there any particular reason you’re not looking forward to your birthday? (no need to share if it’s too personal) besides that, i hope you are feeling somewhat refreshed and motivated to continue studying (WITH BREAKS IN BETWEEN!! AND WATER!!). just think that when your exams finish, your free and stranger things vol.2 will be out to reward you of your hard efforts 😊

also yes, i literally devoured the eddie fic and i am swooning. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS ROLLING AROUND SQUEALING INTO MY PILLOWS AHHHHHHH HE’S SO SOFT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 🥺❤️ YOUR WRITING MAKES ME MELT BECAUSE HE IS SOFT BOI 🥹 but yes, i can tell it was a wee bit rushed. please take this feedback as constructive criticism, and not as an insult, but i think pacing is key for really intimate moments like this (especially if it’s the readers first). even if it means writing a lot more to build up to the climax (👀), it should be relevant to the experience being told. usually my go to is the five senses; expanding on them for the reader to feel the story. for an example, emphasise how much Eddie has been crushing on reader - would his touch be more gentle, but restraint due to his longing? what other sounds were being made in the room? by writing more upon the five senses, it creates tension and anticipation between the characters, and furthermore to the reader. idk if my feedback makes any sense/helps at all, but this is my penny for thought. i still enjoyed this fic regardless and hopeful to read more in the future :)) - 🌙

i’m so so sorry for my late reply!!! ): and please please i’m begging you give me some more hcs because my exam is in less than 2 days 😵‍💫

it’s so so cute that the first thing you did was checking my page 🥹 now i feel even worse for responding so late AAAH </3 oh and to answer your question about my bday, i just HATE having all the attention on me ☹️ i just feel like i don’t deserve it you know, all the love, attention and presents and id much rather give it all to someone else, that’s why i always look forward to other people’s birthdays lmao 😭 yes volume 2 will be out on the exact day that i have my last exam so i’m really looking forward to it!! i’m also thinking about rewatching everything because i don’t remember anything from season 1 and 2

thank you so much for the feedback, im glad you enjoyed it at least a bit though 😵‍💫 i 100% know everything i did wrong, i was too stressed with school and more focused on finishing the fic than actually writing it and the stress made it worse, so ive decided to take a break from writing because i makes me so sad that my fics are getting worse because of everything ): i should just take the time again to write it without all the pressure, but i’ll def keep everything you’ve said in mind!! im usually really bad with criticism like really bad but in the end, i really do appreciate it and im so thankful that you at least gave some compliments as well 😭💞💓💗

#♡ — love letters.#🌙 anon

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cluescorner · 2 years

Text

Finished Chapter 13 of CRK (SPOILERS FOR IT)

OH GOD OH NO OH NOOOOOOOOOOO

I have some issues with this chapter, namely in how it just felt kinda underwhelming, but I’m gonna focus on the good/funny/interesting bits in this post. Because I like a good bit of this chapter and Dark Cacao Kingdom’s story isn’t finished yet, so I’m going to wait until Chapter 14 in order to give my judgement on Chapter 13 (similar to how Chapter 9 was kinda meh to me, but Chapter 10 made me fall in love with this game. Sometimes you need more buildup to the payoff.).

The reunion went...about as well as I expected TBH but not NEARLY as well as I’d hoped. I was hoping for, like, at least a moment of realizing that they’re both kinda at fault here before one of them inevitably starts swinging. But no, just...soul jam, fight, insult, yeet. I know that Cacao is gonna survive, but imagine having your son make an attempt on your life TWICE. I couldn’t handle that tbh.

Also, we haven’t seen ‘The Light of Determination’ so far. Maybe it’ll show up next Episode when Dark Cacao is at his worst.

I hope the dragons show up. My theory is that they have the sword + the soul jam, since they feel like who Dark Cacao would trust with it. The dragons are super interesting to me, like imagine if the cookie of darkness are like ‘hehe we’re gonna get the sword’ and then there’s two ‘fuck you’ dragons staring you dead in the eyes with a look that can only mean ‘YOU FUCKED UP’. I just really want Dark Cacao Kingdom’s really fucking cool concept to be expanded upon more and we didn’t get that much in this chapter, save for the excellent stuff regarding the Licorice Sea.

I love Caramel Arrow Cookie so fucking much. Her design is gorgeous, she really decided to keep helping people even after her banishment, and her VA is also really talented. I love her interactions with other people, she’s like a light in the darkness of the Cacao Kingdom it’s really nice. I can’t wait until she gets added, I’m going to summon her if it fucking kills me.

LICORICE IM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU YOU REALLY RAISED A WHOLE KAIJU. Also, the fact that he came from Dark Cacao Kingdom...like did he and Choco and Espresso all know each other? The Licorice Sea is so fucking cool and honestly I hope that the bullshit with that one fucking Abyssal Licorice Kaiju sets the tone for how powerful Licorice is gonna be in the future. Because I LOVE Licorice cookie but he’s started getting pushed out of the meta (Cotton Cookie basically does his job but better) and I really hope he gets a buff. I would also love it if the Cookies of Darkness were like ‘Hey, we lost this mission and so we gotta go report back to Dark Enchantress’ and Licorice just...stays behind because he likes feeling this powerful. Maybe he can communicate with the Licorice Sea itself and just decides to stay where he’s understood + appreciated + sorta feared? IDK, I’m just so happy Licorice is having his day in the sun.

Affogato Cookie is simultaneously an excellent villain and kinda hilarious. Like, he’s a total schemer and knows how to ingratiate himself to others in order to build power. He basically formed a cult of personality under himself, which I find pretty interesting. While my theory is that Dark Cacao always knew that this sorta thing would come from Affogato cookie, given how he just straight-up ignores his advice when it truly matters, the fact that Dark Cacao just couldn’t get rid of him is pretty interesting. But also, the fact that he WASNT working with the Cookies of Darkness from the inception of his plan is a breath of fresh air AND hilarious. Like, Affogato was truly terrified of them and I think that he’ll see Dark Choco’s presence as a threat to his bid for control over Dark Cacao Kingdom. I also wonder how he’ll react to the fact that the Cookies of Darkness are now DESTROYING EVERYTHING, and he’ll likely rule over a Kingdom of Dust by the time they’re done with the place.

Also regarding the Cookies of Darkness, all the main 4 are here. Which means that SOMETHING has to be going down, since the last time they were all together was Chapter 10 (aka the HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING IS GETTING REAL chapter). I’m guessing that either A. Someone is getting redeemed, B. Dark Enchantress is gonna show up, or C. Someone is going to die. I doubt it’s C because that could singlehandedly change the tone so drastically that it won’t be able to recover, but I also think that C is the most interesting.

I love Pomegranate Cookie out manipulating Affogato Cookie. Like, I refuse to believe that she actually gives a damn about his bid for Kingship and he’s just a convenience for them. But whenever she’s involved in a Chapter, it means things are about to get FUCKED UP. My guess is that she’s gonna be pissed off with Dark Choco for not KILLING HIS FUCKING DAD AFTER THE 2ND TRY and do some bullshit. Maybe there’ll be another dramatically-resonant-hallucination scene like there was with Pure Vanilla Cookie? IDK, but whenever she’s around I’m terrified of what kinda BS she’s gonna pull.

Poison Mushroom I love you sweet baby. IDK what the fuck you’re doing here but I love you so much.

DARK CHOCO COOKIE WHAT THE FUCK?? I really wanted a fucking redemption or at least some sort of reconciliation before he decides to stay with the Cookies of Darkness, BUT NO. Dark Choco and Dark Cacao are incapable of talking with words outside of insulting each other. I cannot wait for the inevitable ‘OH MY GOD HE SURVIVED FALLING FROM THAT FUCKING WALL’ moment because that’s gonna be funny and also a ‘oh shit’ moment. Maybe the Cookies of Darkness didn’t realize how hard it is to kill an Ancient?

Now, this is a crack theory so be aware that I’m mostly posing this as an interesting possibility and there is very little canon evidence for it: What if the Cookies of Darkness initially planned for Dark Choco to take over as King, so that they have the indomitable Cacao Warriors working for them. But once they came across Affogato, they decided that using him would be much simpler and went with that instead. I keep thinking about that fucking loading screen and how, while it could just be cute flavor-text, what if it’s foreshadowing to Dark Choco eventually becoming King himself? IDK, it’s a theory with very little backing but I think it’s kinda interesting.

I wish the other Ancients were here. We’re really not gonna see them interact with each other until the very end, are we? Oh well, that’s what fandom bullshit is for I guess.

Dark Cacao is fascinating. Like, he’s as stalwart as the wall itself and his resolve is unmatched. But simultaneously, he isolates himself from his Kingdom and failed to help those on the outskirts. IDK, I just think it’s fascinating to analyze him, since Holly and Vanilla were pretty much universally considered at least decent leaders but Cacao isn’t as clear. I just can’t wait to see what else is going on with him.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MILK AND YAM?? SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK DEVSIS WHERE ARE THEY?? THIS IS THEIR STORY TOO. They grew up here (Milk definitely did and with Yam he at least KNOWS the place), both have something to do with Dark Choco, they both probably have some feelings towards Dark Cacao’s leadership...SO WHY AREN’T EITHER OF THEM HERE. I can’t wait to read the inevitable fanfics of ‘Dark Cacao Story but if Milk and Yam were also involved because jesus fucking christ they should be here.’

I’m very excited for Chapter 14. For me, it’s going to signal whether I really stay connected to the story as a whole. Because I wasn’t a big fan of the story until Chapter 10, then Hollyberry’s chapters were silly but still excellent in their own right, and now here’s Dark Cacao’s chapters (which I would argue have been the most anticipated save for White Lilly’s, though everyone acknowledges that she’ll probably be the last). I’m willing to excuse an underwhelming set-up in exchange for an excellent pay-off, and the pay-off to the Licorice Sea plot-point was amazing imo. Now we just need to wait for Chapter 14 and see what happens.

Overall, the chapter was kinda underwhelming but I still like it a lot. The new characters are pretty neat (Caramel Arrow taking the spot as my favorite new character and one of my favorite overall characters) and it expands on old characters pretty well (IM SO FUCKING PROUD OF LICORICE LOOK AT HIM GO). It just didn’t have the punch that I thought it would, thought that could also be me having too high of expectations. The only MAJOR problem I have is that Milk and Yam aren’t here, because this would be an excellent time to resolve their storylines AND give our boys proper screen-time. Regardless, I can’t wait to see what Chapter 14 brings!

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kooksrae · 3 years

Text

a collection of things that have made me feel a certain way

updated 08032022

also do take note that not everything recommended here will suit everyone (smut/ violence/ toxic relationships) and if you do click into links please make sure you read the tws before continuing. Writers are responsible for letting you know of any possible themes and topics which may cause feelings of discomfort but it is also your responsibility to ensure that you are in a position to be consuming such material!

PLS PLS PLS PLS share things that you've read and absolutely enjoyed. You can drop a submission or an ask to recommend me something good! Also remember to help out writers by liking and reblogging their content!!

Social Media AU! (text messages/ snapchat/ twitter/ insta typa vibes)

casual - @muniimyg (JJK × reader)

i have been religiously following this on one of my other tumblr accounts and it's finally completed and i'm so excited to share this with all of you!!

reading this made my insides very tingly and BUTTERFLY typa energy!

lowkey my new comfort fic!

there's some written parts here and there but it really just adds to the CONTENT and the SPICE of the whole situation

Tiger Flower - @v-hope (JJK × reader/ KTH × reader)

hella fluffy. makes my heart do the uwu. very much wholesome. something i stayed up till 6am reading

11/10 would stay up till 6 reading it again.

also the significance of tiger lilies is insanely aDORABLEEE

my love for jjk has just grown a gazillion times more

Under A Shadow - @firebettercallnct (KTH × reader, slight JJK × reader)

a lil angst and a lil fluff. (as all good stories will have)

kinda wish it was longer idk. im a sucker for super long stories.

ALSO !! we get some side yoonmin action !!!!!!!!!!!

Stole your shirt - @firebettercallnct (JJK × reader)

one of my personal favs. super cute and also everyone’s on some kinda crack or sum shit idk.

p damn fluffy and when you reach the end you’ll j kind of wish you could go back to before u read it because u wna experience all the feelings agn.

ALSO!!!! we hv some namjin and yoonseok action !!!1!!

Rumour Has It - @bangtann-bangdamn (KTH × reader)

very much wholesome.

genuinely found it quite funny and it had me laughing at 2 in the morning

i dont rly hv much to say just pls go read it.

everyone should read it once in their lives

Belong - @v-hope (KTH × reader)

THIS IS FINALLY COMPLETED!!

something i chanced upon during my late night fanfic times and like let me tell you. a whole fucking new world.

this was really a beautiful read. 11/10 obsessed with this. i literally spend my time rereading this.

teehee give this a read. all yall artist!taehyung fans are rly not gna regret it

Daylight - @maravillamin (MYG × reader)

will make you decide to legally change your name to y/n

ever wanted to be a single mom because you got a divorce with your useless husband? no? well now you wish you were.

literally dad!yoongi and mom!reader

also you have the cutest friends? like this is so cute. makes me want to birth children

touch of him - @herherteartear (JHS × reader)

you are living the perfect girl life kinda thing and hoseok's the opposite of it all

this is serving polar opposites but not really kind of energy.

also this is giving off "business only" family energy if you know what i mean.

Actual written things !!

Monster - @btssmutgalore (JJK × reader)

this started so many years back and just a few days ago it finally became a completed fic!!!

i have an extremely soft spot for this jungkook.

personal favourite is chapter 18. like literally my heart expands a gazillion times just thinking about this

ngl i was here more for the plot than for the smut. truly chef's kiss

Willow - @breakiebunny (JJK × reader)

i am not going to ever recover from this.

the number of times i find my brain just drifting over to this work of art is not okay.

my whole heart is still out here hoping desperately that in some alternate universe where this is true that everything is nice and works out great

i felt kinda empty after finishing this ngl,,,

and this is a one-shot,,,

will always hold a piece of my heart

stood up - @parkdatjimin (MYG × reader)

okay everybody. pls. just read this pls.

like this was bloody long. fricking 26.7k words. but what a great use of 26.7k words.

it's like shakespeare rose from the dead and was like what if i dropped another hit!!! (okay not a hit,,, idk it's 2 in the morning i cant think)

for someone who has never even been in a relationship in her whole life i really FELT THIS like in my heart, in my soul typebeat

also working some meh food n beverage job is literally my life. laugh out loud. going to daydream about this when i'm at work tomorrow.

bitter sweet - @mikrksmos (JJK × reader)

once again ladies and gents, my fav typa thing; bf2l

my heart. so full of love. for bestfriend!jk

also wtheck jungkook with a lil sibling? heck yea sign me tf up!!

i think i was very much overwhelmed with the emotions that our dear jk felt bcs sometimes life do be like that

plot was p dang noice!!

charred - @neonlights92 (JHS × reader)

this was genuinely quite intense. i dont really know what i was expecting out of this tbh.

development of story plot was great! I enjoyed seeing how it unfolded bit by bit.

this was part of a collection of fics written about mafia!bts n this is my literal fav. i feel like it wasnt too cliche?? (take note of how i said i feel, bcs at this pt i dont even know what counts as cliche anymore) but hey to me this was good n refreshing n i liked it n now i want to share this with all of u

Beloved - @bang-tan-bitches (MYG × reader)

major yandere energy. lowkey disturbing but some part of me is just madly obsessed with this.

also when you picture daechwita!yoongi it really just drives you craycray

i really dont know what else to say?! but do give this a read (only if you're comfortable)

this is definitely not going to be something that everyone is okay with reading so please check the warnings before proceeding!

love of my life - @latetaektalk (MYG × reader)

okay this shit be painful af. this fucking broke me. idk have never been the same since. would still read it all over again.

this was about 7k words? so not the longest but it was long enough for something so sad :(

in general really sad and emo. if you want to feel like the whole world is crashing on you pls give it a read.

the art of the rom-com - @gukyi (JJK × reader)

first of all wtf. made me feel single af.

it’s our fav kind of enemies to lovers energy. slowburn. college au. yeah you get the gist.

super fluffy but we love to see it. also mildly angsty but it’s all g we will get over it.

okay but also this was so longggg!!! what an experience. a solid 33k words. i nv thought i would reach the end of it but i did.

super solid read. i hope yall read it too.

blossom - @namfinessed (KTH × reader)

okay first off, yall alrdy know i love hella long fics. this was 38k+ words.

please only read this when you have the time istg i was staring on my tiny screen and really wanted to just fall asleep but also it was too intriguing to just sleep on.

yall rly be sleeping on this though. a very solid read.

i mean you really can’t go wrong with florist!taehyung energy amirite

bad influence: collection - @noteguk (JJK × reader)

so this is an ongoing one as well.

truth is i havent finished reading whatever has been posted yet. BUT i do have a very good reason for it, which is that i’m not ready to be in a position where i realise i’m going to be done reading it.

frm wtv i’ve read this is some sexy ass story.

honestly you could read it as individual parts i guess? but for the real feels pls read all the way from the first part.

oh and it’s a hella hot badboy!jungkook so yes if you r into that you def should add this to your must read list.

easy - @itsamejin (JJK × reader)

okay so here’s the deal with this. collegeau! fuckboy energy. bets are made. yea you kinda get it.

It’s a very basic boy takes bet and ends up falling for the girl kinda thing but idk i really enjoyed the process of reading it.

you get the good fluff and angst balance in this too so :>

Thoughts Of You Keep Me Awake At Night - @hollyhomburg (MYG × reader)

yoongi asking for cuddles i-

reason stated above should be reason enough for you to go read this

it’s a short 2.1K word situation here so you don’t have to spend a whole hour on it heheh

very nice experience if you’re reading this while it’s late at night and you are alone in bed and can’t seem to fall asleep.

Get You The Moon - @bymoonchild (KTH × reader)

enemies to lovers. do i really have to elaborate on this?

you get to see soft!taehyung and also like jock!taehyung all in one !!

i felt shy reading this. was super absorbed.

ooh and it’s smutty too!

it’s relatively long (we’re talking 19.6k words besties) but wow the build up, the plot the everything is peak!!!

Paper Cranes - @aquaminwrites (KTH × reader)

we are talking best friends to lovers. some next level fluff. kim taehyung is completely to die for here. i kid you not.

made me wish someone would like me this much lol.

i felt the butterflies reading this. got some post reading depression after this,,,

18.3k words about how you n kth are like the best in the world?? so like go read?!!

anti-baby fever - @gashinabts (JJK × reader)

pls this was so funny and for WHAT!?

it genuinely made me laugh out loud at 2.32 in the morning.

okay but it’s smutty so you gotta be able to like the spice to read this

it’s also short (4.5k)!! which is a blessing if you are planning to read smth real quick before going to bed!!

but i found myself relating to this though bcs i do not want to have babies unless it’s w bts :’)

SIN CITY - @btssmutgalore (PJM × reader)

okAY YALL so this is the one thing that lives in my head rent free. istg there was a period a while back when i went on a social media cleanse or smth but i just had to go back onto tumblr to get updates on this

genuinely the one thing that keeps me going

it’s completed so u can experience all the emotions in one sitting if you are up for that.

has my whole heart.

dear @btssmutgalore i love you for writing this. pls marry me.

and yes it is spicy my dears. very spicy.

you do get a decent amt of fluff n angst ish n smut so yes it covers all bases.

and you get sum dancing jimin :>

you won’t be able to control yourself istg pls go and read.

Waking Up Next To The Sun - @houseofwhalien (JHS × reader)

this do be wholesome hours w bby jung hoseok

wholesome morning becomes spicy morning and then back to wholesome morning

okay and this is truly the duality of jung hoseok. like i can literally picture the man being exactly like this

is a short 1.8k of sunshine to bless yall !

Interrupted - @kimnjss (JHS × reader)

let me get yall with this. this is actual spice spice. we are talking extra chilli pepper flakes.

i’m not usually one for something that is just full on spice but like i was feeling sum typa way when i read this.

it’s idol!jhope in here who also turns out is your boyfriend. istg y/n do be the luckiest uGH.

it isn’t too long (4.3K words) so it works as a quick read to convince your brain to have some sexy hoseok dreams.

there was a bug - @kimnjss (KNJ × reader)

i felt frustrated reading this man. like the push and pull - istg my girl y/n and kimnamjoon really needa get their shit tgt.

this was so dirty and for WHAT!! making me shy in bed when i’m all alone with my phone hngghh

has quite a bit of angst and fluff but it’s worth it. the 7k words are all worth it.

baby, my baby - @pjimims (JJK × reader)

okay this was something i read years ago but as i was scrolling through the things i liked i found it again!

thought it was quite cute

i mean come on dad!jungkook is to die for

am kinda sad they aren't writing anymore fics tho :"(

Angel in the Darkness - @icyhobi (JJK × reader)

okay this made me go oop

i remember seeing like part 3 and i was like okay gna wait for it to be a completed fic before i start reading. and i finally got around to reading it yesterday.

mafia!jungkook is kinda my thing now i guess idk

also wth they all be so sneaky sneaky about everything

will make u go omg out loud

anyway i think i am going to hv I trust issues now (finish reading it and you'll know what i mean by this)

Meet The Parents - @btssaysstudy (KNJ × reader)

idk what it was about this that made me feel very warm but i liked it a lot

it's super short and wholesome

and idk it's nice to think that our dear kim namjoon would be like this

cute read for when you're busy and need a short burst of fluff to get you through the day

Serving Bitterness - @guksthighs (KSJ × reader)

let me start off by saying this is like the first seokjin fic im recommending omg

this is a super short one (1.8k words) so it's something that you can probably squeeze in during the busy mornings.

let me first start off by saying y/n is really not here to play lol

also you do gonna be experiencing some second hand embarrassment at the end of it though oof

but yes pls read it was kinda cute, kinda wish it was longer though

do you want me (dead?) - @gukyi (JJK × reader)

this is a hogwarts au story!!!

dont you just love ravenclaw seeker mr jjk bcs im obsessed!!!!

v cute fic honestly

10/10 wld recommend

pls give it a read hehe

The one that got away (literally no longer exist; but just going to keep it here)

the snow king - @bloomsuga (KTH × reader)

you got fanatsy stuff going on. you got hella angsty and fluffy all at the same time. besties i think we found the best ice prince! kim taehyung out there.

also we have some slight cutie jimin moments. ( a definite plus!)

oh yea and it gets smutty but in like the most beautiful way.

also this was a long read of 25k words. but it’s a an absolute beautiful creation. did not know that we could put 25k words altogether to make such a masterpiece.

lowkey wanted to cry bcs its way too good.

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lavellander · 3 years

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hello im feeling extra “touch the stove”-y today so. i was looking for any dialogue where solas just straight up lies and (of what i could find online/transcribed, obv) i didnt find anything that was 100% untrue. he’ll completely avoid the question, change the subject, give part of the truth, etc etc etc, but nothing was just Entirely A Lie

what really gets me is that there’s a handful of convos where someone infers something from what solas says, and he will even point out that he didn’t directly say that. like, he tells people how to see through his shit, lmao

here is an embarrassingly long ass list of examples, all sorted by what kind of not-lying he’s doing lol, just bc i am unhinged<3

*note that some of these are cut from longer bits of dialogue or have been split up from one conversation into different categories*

literally just Not Answering The Question lol

Dorian: How much “will” do they have? They’re amorphous constructs of the Fade. Solas: Hmm.

Dorian: Solas, have I offended you? Solas: If you have, why would it concern you?

Dorian: Solas, what is this whole look of yours about? Solas: I’m sorry? Dorian: No, that outfit is sorry. What are you supposed to be, some kind of woodsman? Dorian: Is it a Dalish thing? Don’t you dislike the Dalish? Or is it some kind of statement? Solas: No.

Dorian: Let me get this straight, Solas. Dorian: You’re an apostate – neither Dalish nor city elf – who lived alone in the woods studying spirits. Solas: Is that a problem for you?

Solas: [has a whole tactical moment about the red jennies lmao] Sera: Where d’you get all this, then? Solas: Do you wish to be unnerved by another tale of my explorations of the Fade? Or do you wish to learn something?

Vivienne: You must be pleased with what was revealed at the Temple of Mythal, Solas. Solas: Why should those ruins please me, Enchanter?

changing the subject before he backs himself into a corner

Gatt: I don’t see any tattoos, but you’re carrying a staff. Are you from a Chantry Circle? Solas: No. And I would prefer not to discuss it.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing. Varric: What’s so confusing about endless darkspawn? Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter.

giving the truth, but not the whole truth

Blackwall: Skyhold. How did you find it? Solas: I looked. Blackwall: Now you sound like Cole. You looked? Solas: This world is full of wonders for those who seek them.

Blackwall: You spoke of seeing death and destruction. Did you fight in a war? Solas: There are struggles across Thedas at any given time. I doubt you would have heard of it. Blackwall: An elven skirmish? Solas: In a manner of speaking, yes.

Cassandra: Solas, have you always lived alone? Out in the wilderness, as an apostate? Solas: For the most part.

Cassandra: Have you ever encountered templars before? Solas: Only at a distance. I am an apostate, after all. Cassandra: And they never caught you even once? Solas: I am a very careful apostate.

Dorian: We found elves, living ancient elves, at the Temple of Mythal. Does that bother you, Solas? If Inquisitor allied with the Sentinels: Solas: I am pleased we were not forced to kill them, if that’s what you mean.

Iron Bull: You’ve got an odd style, Solas. Your spells are a bit different from the Circle mages or the Vints. Solas: That comes from being self-taught. Solas: I discovered most of my magic on my own, or learned it from my journeys in the Fade.

Vivienne: So, an apostate? Solas: That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your Circle.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life. Iron Bull: I’ve always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth? Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

from cutscene at beginning Inquisitor: [mentions the anchor closing a rift] Solas: Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct.

from cutscene at beginning Solas: [to a Dalish Inq] You are Dalish, but clearly away from the rest of your clan. Did they send you here? Inquisitor: What do you know of the Dalish? Solas: I have wandered many roads in my time, and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion. Inquisitor: [Crossed paths? dialogue choice] Solas: I mean that I offered to share knowledge, only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition.

from “I’d like to know more about you” convo in Haven Inquisitor: What made you start studying the Fade? Solas: I grew up in a village to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, became troublesome.

actually telling the truth but no one picks up on the gravity of it

Solas: [...] I believe the elven gods existed, as did the old gods of Tevinter. But I do not think any of them were gods, unless you expand the definition of the word to the point of absurdity. I appreciate the idea of your Maker, a god that does not need to prove his power. I wish more such gods felt the same. Cassandra: You have seen much sadness in your journeys, Solas. Following the Maker might offer some hope. Solas: I have people, Seeker. The greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced to people.

Cole: No, inside. I don’t hear your hurt as much. Your song is softer, subtler, not silent but still. Solas: How small the pain of one man seems when weighted against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples.

Cole: You didn’t do it to be right. You did it to save them. Inquisitor: Solas, what is Cole talking about? Solas: A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything.

Solas: Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more “innocent” than your own Tevinter in its time. Solas: Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless.

Solas: Our people used to be here. Sera: Pfft, you say that everywhere. Solas: It is more true than you want to believe.

Vivienne: You must be pleased, apostate. With the Templars dissolved, your rebels will be most difficult to pacify. Solas: My rebels? Am I an agent for their cause, whispering poison into the Inquisition’s ears? Solas: How comforting. Vivienne: You enjoy seeing yourself as a villain? Solas: No more than any other clever man who wonders what he could do if pushed.

Vivienne: [about the Temple of Mythal] Now you know the elves were once a mighty nation. Solas: I always knew, Enchanter. The Temple of Mythal is just another reminder of what was lost.

(in the Emerald Graves): These forests have changed much since I was last here.

during the Fade!Haven cutscene Solas: It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture... and right then, I felt the whole world change. Inquisitor: [romance option] “Felt the whole world change?” Solas: A figure of speech. Inquisitor: I’m aware of the metaphor. I’m more interested in felt. Solas: You change... everything.

pointing out that people assume he means things he did not directly say

Cole: There is pain though, still within you. Solas: And I never said there was not.

Solas: You may well become fully human, after all. I never thought to see it. Cole: When did you see it before? Solas: I did not say that I had.

Iron Bull: We’ve got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured... Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions? Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission. Solas: I never said otherwise.

Sera: Don’t you start. Solas: I’m reasonably certain I said nothing.

Vivienne: [talking shit about grey warden mages] Solas: I never claimed mages should be above the law, Enchanter. Vivienne: No, darling. You merely implied it, while offering no viable suggestions for improvement.

after infamous “side benefits” dialogue Warrior Inquisitor: You find my muscles enjoyable? Solas: I meant that you enjoyed having them, presumably. Warrior Inquisitor: Ah. Solas: But yes... since you asked.

diminishing things he does actually know by saying he he “believes” or “thinks,” or that things were vaguely “said” or “told”

Solas: I say what I believe to be true, even if it gives offense to those who prefer the lie.

Dorian: That orb Corypheus carries... are you certain it’s of elven origin, Solas? Solas: I believe so. Why do you ask?

Solas: It is said that we lived at a pace that sustained us for... ages.

making it sound like he’s talking about something/someone else, but it’s just him lmao

Cole: Do you know a lot about wolves? Solas: I know that they are intelligent, practical creatures that small-minded fools think of as terrible beasts.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters. Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don’t know. Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

during In Hushed Whispers Inquisitor: I’m glad you understood what he just said because I’m not sure I did. Solas: You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong.

misc

this one i wanted to include because it’s the only circumstance (that i came across) where someone directly asks solas to lie and he literally says he can’t

during the fucking crestwood breakup scene Inquisitor: [angry option] Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. Inquisitor: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a cold-hearted son of a bitch and move on! Solas: I’m sorry.

*also note that most of these are banter transcriptions from the wiki; some are cutscene / other dialogue posted by either @/daitranscripts or u/karinini on reddit; it’s not all his cutscenes obv, but I’m not about to look up every single one individually sdlkfj*

#i am................incredibly embarrassed that i did this #forgive me. the brain worms would not leave until it was Done #also sorry that its ugly no matter what i did tungle was NOT happy w my formatting. just know its clean and easy to read in my mind :/#and i know none of this is new information but i am riddled with terminal grad student brain disease so i like having my evidence organized #long post #(bc its long as hell if u open the read more)#im going to put this in my #ref #tag. bc i sometimes get tripped up writing his dialogue to be cryptic but true

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trashytummiez · 3 years

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Sickly Crocodile

@horriblehooter got me interested in writing for content for Harley Quinn and Killer Croc. So for inspiration, I was trying to find more Harley and Killer Croc material that was canon and found that in the old lady Harley comics she and Killer Croc actually got married and despite breaking up were good friends after. I also discovered that the voracious Crocodile gets nauseous all the time. So I had to make something for that. :3

“Wowzers Crockers, yer lookin’ real green t’day!” Harley said with concern.

The nauseous Killer Croc simply looked at her with this vacant stare.

“Greener than usual I meant t’say,” Harley corrected.

She wasn’t wrong because Killer Croc’s stomach let out a really sickly gurgle that made the crocodile cringe. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and huffed out because of how cramped his belly felt.

“What’d ya even eat?”

“...Dun ask,” Killer Croc responded and nursed his aching middle. It felt like his stomach was twisting itself into a knot and cutting off his air supply before snapping back into place and making everything quiver. He lurched and covered his mouth. A really gross and wet burp rolled out of Killer Croc’s mouth from under his hand. Even Harley cringed at the sound of it because it sounded like more was trying to come up than just air.

She frowned sympathetically at her friend. He might have been a grumpy maneating reptile but he was still one of Harley’s closest friends and she hated seeing him so miserable instead of his usual curt grumpy but at least not sickly self.

“Cmere fer a sec, siddown.” Harley instructed and almost sounded like she was 100% serious were it not for that exaggerated accent she always put on.

Killer Croc huffed again but complied with the doctors orders sitting down slowly so as to avoid upsetting his noisy achy stomach. He huffed again when he was finally parked onto the cold concrete floor of his underground lair. Harley sat herself down on his lap and leaned against Killer Croc’s beefy scaly body. Specifically Croc’s scaly tummy.

He stifled another burp and groaned. “Easy, Harl. Dun put too much pressure on my gut right now...”

She gently shushed her scaly friend and felt with her hands that it was more poofy than normal. Killer Croc was bloated but not the way he usually was after stuffing himself or eating another person. It was a bloat that wasn’t even noticeable until Harley really leaned against his body. Then she rested the side of her head against his tummy and just listened to it. The reptiles stomach was so noisy even without being so close but right up against it Harley could hear his insides really gurgling away. It sounded like there was a burner in Killer Croc’s belly lit in the center and making everything bubble like it was boiling water in a pot over a stove just way thicker.

Harley took it upon herself to try and settle the crocodiles troubled tummy by rubbing its soft scaly surface.

Killer Croc huffed again and kept a hand over his mouth. He felt like his stomach was swirling around inside of him and rising up his throat. But Harley’s delicate hands gently caressed his aching belly to try and calm it down. Slowly those tiny hands of hers roamed up the crest of Killer Croc’s stomach just under his beefy chest and down to his underbelly. They ran up and down for a period until she moved to rubbing his belly in circles. First Harley started by rubbing circles into the center of Killer Croc’s stomach and then she moved onto rubbing smaller circles with both hands against the sides of his middle.

The motions felt like they were rocking his stomach at first which did nothing to help his nausea. But the more Harley rubbed the more Killer Croc’s stomach seemed to ease into a more relaxed state. It was still bubbling immensely but the cramps felt like they were dying down.

Killer Croc breathed in slowly. His stomach expanded and deflated with his measured heavy breathing. The dying cramps made it easier to fill his lungs with more air but the gurgling wasn’t getting any better. If Killer Croc still had sweat glands then he’d be sweating bullets with how nauseous he still felt.

Harley continued to rub his scaly tummy more in the vein hopes that it would eventually work but the bubbling only intensified and made Killer Croc cringe.

She frowned. “Sorry Crockey but I think ya just gotta let it out,” she said and patted Killer Croc’s belly.

That pat was the straw to break the camels back because it made Croc’s stomach gurgle at a far more intense volume. Killer Croc’s eyes widened and he immediately covered his mouth. His face went so much greener than usual and the reptile immediately jumped up from the ground and almost toppled poor Harley off of his lap straight away. He rushed over to the corner of the chamber and violently expelled the contents of his stomach. Harley cringed but nevertheless walked over to Croc’s side as he vomited profusely. She knew to hold her breath ahead of time and rubbed Croc’s bulletproof backside.

“There ya go. Just let it out,” she said in a soothing manner.

Killer Croc belched wetly and was left heaving in a breathless fashion. Slimy drool was oozing from his mouth as he stood there in a breathless daze. Then he doubled over and burped so hard that another stream of vomit expelled from his bone crunching jaws. As Croc puked something really solid thumped onto the concrete floor within the bile itself.

After it vacated Killer Croc’s stomach he heaved and gasped like he was about to pass out.

Despite how gross it was Harley had to take a look and see what Killer Croc just puked up.

It was a partially digested handgun.

“Didn’t that belong t’dat jerk ya ate a few days ago?” Harley asked.

Killer Croc was still completely out of breath. He slumped up to his feet and wiped his drooling mouth clean. “...Guns’n metal’re harder to work up than bones...”

“Thought I told’ja t’watch what’cha eat!” Harley scolded in a half-serious manner. “Yer s’posed t’make sure yer food doesn’t have any guns on ‘im before ya eat ‘im dummy!”

Killer Croc let out a wet burp in response and groaned. “...Ungh, feels like shit...”

“Tell ya what, after ya clean that mess up how ‘bout I rub yer tummy some more?”

Killer Croc looked down at Harley and back at his gut. He scratched his thick neck in thought and managed a slight smirk. “...That sounds nice actually. Thanks Harl.”

Harley grinned back. “What’re friends for? But if ya puke on me, I’mma turn ya into a billion purses.”

#kink fic #killer croc x harley #killer croc #harley quinn #emeto #sick fic #belly rub

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kweebtrash · 4 years

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StreamHearts Timestamp 11:59pm

Title: Fuck It, I Love You

Pairing: Camboy!JohnnyxCamgirlOC (Rem)

Word Count: 3.1k

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Features: established relationship not a perfect sex life, heavy size kink, soft-ish dom johnny, petnames, teasing, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie.

Synopsis:

Though Rem is a smart business woman she hides behind a computer screen all day designing websites for large companies. However, when her day is done she’s still behind a computer screen but now showing the world how hard she can cum. She never wanted to be a camgirl but when financial duties called she took it upon herself to make it. The spotlight (and money) got to her and she expanded to showcasing her nerdy side; livestreams, lewd cosplay photoshoots, let’s plays, subscriptions, review, vlogs, tutorials, you name it. Her streams catches the attention of a fellow cammer, Johnny, who on a whim decided to message her. Both aren’t the sexed up dolls they pretend to be in the online life and instead ease their way into a relationship with not so perfect sex, mistakes, and total confusion.

A/N: This used to be on my Kofi which im closing down and just putting everything up on here. This isnt continuing.

Masterlist Johnny Only Masterlist

“I just want to tease the fuck out of you.” The words came out as as sultry whisper poured into my ear. His tongue trailed against the cartilage, leaving the skin heated and wet similar to the junction of my thighs. Johnny had been kissing me for god knows how long. I had become so lost in him; his words, his touch, his entire being beside me. I was helpless and unable to escape the intoxication though I never wanted to. His words, however, put me in a place of submissiveness where i feared his teasing.

“P-please don’t…” I whined as I chased his lips from a kiss he denied me. “Don’t tease me. I’ve been good.”

“Have you?” His eyes were heavily lidded, pupils dilated with oxytocin and endorphins. The thrill of my eminent destruction only added to the sparks between us yet I was dreading it entirely. “I saw what you were doing in your last stream. You got a bigger dildo, didn’t you?”

My face rushed with color as i averted my gaze. “W-well...i wanted to practice.”

“Practice for who, baby?” He smirked and pushed a few sweat drenched stray hairs away from my face.

“Y-you, of course.” We hadn’t fucked on camera yet. We had come to the consensus not to until we perfected the art of intimacy between us first. Though there was a small problem, or rather a large problem. The first few times Johnny had tried to penetrate me it was futile. The thickness of his head was no match for how small my hole was. No matter how many fingers he could attempt to fit inside me (barely two) to try and stretch me out or how much lube or cum i exerted helped. And so I took it upon myself to cast aside my six and seven inch dildos to try and accommodate for the moment where we would unite.

“Still too much, huh?” He chuckled lowly. I watched as his fingertips barely brushed against my skin as he made a ticklish trail down my stomach to the thin fabric of my panties. They slipped beneath the cotton and i instinctively spread my thighs. His middle finger pushed between my lower lips and circled my entrance languidly. “Why is my perfect princess so tiny?”

“I’m sorry,” I said with a heavy pang of guilt. I had constantly felt like I had ruined moments in our beds because my body wouldnt except him even if my mind and heart were yearning to have him so deep inside me that i could feel him in my stomach.

Johnny pressed a kiss to my forehead and smiled. “Don’t be. I love how fucking tight you are for me.”

I scrunched up my nose and pushed his face away playfully. “Don’t say such things. You make it sound pervy!”

Another chuckle. “I can’t help it sometimes.” He began to move his finger through me, gathering the wetness that had accumulated and spreading it over the most sensitive areas. “You know it turns me on to see how small you are.”

I pressed my lips together in an attempt to hide a mewl. I was lost on what I had wanted to respond with as my brain frizzled. “U-uh, um...I th-think your size kink is s-showing!” My stomach clenched when he dipped his fingertip in, alarming me. He shushed me gently, cooing at me to relax as he placed kisses and nibbles along the column of my neck.

“I got you, baby girl. You know i do.” I wrapped my arms around his torso and pulled him closer together so i could bury my face in his chest. His free arm snaked around me as well, settling on my shoulders as he gauged my reactions to his minuscule thrusts. I bit down on his collarbone as I rushed to rock my hips and let him know that I was able to take more. He pushed into me deeper, curling his finger quickly in an effort to make the sound of my natural lubrication bounce off the bright pink walls of my room. “Did you get all worked up just from me kissing you?”

He was proud of himself. I could always tell in the tonality of his voice. A certain cockiness that anything he did made me wet. It stemmed from the exchange of us watching each other’s streams. I had spent hours consuming video after video of him jerking off, fucking his own ass, and doing other lewd acts that got him tips in seconds. He, on the other hand, told me that he was more captivated by the faces and sounds I made and would prefer to just watch as he fucked me. It sounded silly to say since I had thousands of viewers and I masturbated on camera but I was still a shy person who preferred to metaphorically hide their head in the sand like an ostrich. Johnny intimidated me as many a times my face would be forced towards his and i was commanded to not dare look away. His deep brown eyes would peer into my soul, eating it up like a meal and leaving me an empty husk of a woman once I orgasmed at his hands. “Shut up.” I said through gritted teeth as he halted his vibrant thrusts.

His finger left me and instead disappeared into his mouth. With a slick pop he removed all of my taste from the digit and sighed as he gave me a once over. “Take these off.” He snapped at the band of my panties that he had stripped me down to during our initial makeout session. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband and wiggled them down before flicking them off my foot. Johnny spread my thighs wide, leaving me completely exposed. I went back to hiding in the crook of his neck, hoping he wouldnt notice if i distracted him with some bites. A harsh tap to my clit told me otherwise. I yelped and laid my own defensive slap against his chest. "Jerk!"

"Dont close your legs then." Johnny said sternly. I pouted, puffing out my cheeks as i rolled away from him, my arms across my chest. His large hand grabbed onto my hip and pulled me onto my back again. He didnt particularly like when i protested or became a bit bratty. A submissive princess was where he liked me to be at all times. Though now I wasnt even able to utter a word because he hooked his leg over mine, keeping my thighs separated while one hand grabbed both my wrists and pinned them above my head. His other hand was back to grabbing my face and forcing me to look at him. He'd be damned to hell if he didnt break that habit of mine. "The fuck did i just say?"

I flexed my fingers as i tried (and failed) to release myself from his grasp. "You said…" i looked into his eyes that had honeyed in the yellow glow of my bedside lamp. That was another weakness if mine, as if Johnny as a whole wasnt enough. His eyes in particular always destroyed me. I couldnt expressing the rest of my sentence, which was supposed to be a snarky retort, because of the intense hold he had over me. I was instead stuck nibbling at his bottom lip and whimpering for him to let me go. "I could touch you." I finally said in between small licks. "Youre hard."

"And? I get off on seeing you get off. I also get off on when youre a good girl for me."

"Liar. You love it when i misbehave. You always start moving the toys faster when i do." That was what he used when he really wanted to punish me; small dildos and vibrators in various settings and speeds, making sure i writhed and arched with every thrust.

"And what toy should i used on my babygirl tonight? What would get you all pink and squirmy for me?" He smirked and sucked my lips between his, lapping at the soft skin.

"I dont want a toy. I want you." I admitted.

Johnny sighed and pulled away from me entirely. "You know we cant. We've tried and we cant. I told you im not going to hurt you."

"I know!" I clutched onto his arm. "I know. But this time will be different. Im gonna do it."

He shook his head. "If i force it too much i could tear you. Rem, i'm seriously not going to try right now."

"Please!" I begged and looked up at him with puppy eyes. "Just one try, ok? Just one? You dont know how many times I've dreamt about you fucking me senseless. I just want you inside me so badly. I cant take it anymore."

He rolled his eyes, annoyed at my persistence. "Fine. Just one try. And i mean one."

I gave him a sweet kiss and pulled him on top of me. He settled between my legs which i laid on the outside of his thighs. He stroked the smooth and sensitive skin on my inner thighs as he trailed his thumbs upwards to spread my lower lips apart. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips as he drunk in the sight at my slightly flexed gape. "Are you sure?" He asked.

I pushed my hand between us and gripped the outline of his cock firmly. "Johnny I don't want you, I need you."

He went to say something again but snapped his jaw shut. Quickly, he discarded his boxer briefs and guided his swollen cock towards my entrance. Seeing him throb was another part of my guilt. He would leak and swell as we romped around and yet could only get off by a blowjob or a handjob. Sometimes he would thrust between my thighs or against my ass but I knew it was just barely enough for him. His cum didn't belong splattered across my skin; it belonged inside me, filling me to the brim and keeping me warm. I closed my eyes and let every bit of tension leave my body. If I could just get the head in, it would be smooth sailing from there.

A small push threatened the barricade of my tightness. The tension returned but only for a moment. I kept it shoved aside and focused on taking in the tip. I could feel centimeter by centimeter, gauging how far he could go, and when I found the glans stuffed inside me both of us shuddered hard. I covered my mouth as soon as I let out a sharp gasp. The feeling of being stretched burned and tingled and yet I took in the discomfort with a sense of gratitude. This was the farthest we had gotten and even if this was all he could get inside it was better than nothing.

Johnny's hands were trembling as he bruised my hips in the pattern of his fingers. "J-jesus...babe." He sucked in a harsh breath and swallowed hard. Beads of sweat had gathered at his brow and it was almost like he was losing control already. "God you feel so damn good. How are you even taking me?"

I held one of his hands and brought it to my lips, kissing the back of it. "You said it yourself. You saw me practicing on camera but you didn't see what I did when I was alone." I parted my lips then and ushered in two of his fingers, sucking slowly. I circled my tongue around the tips and swallowed all the way down to the knuckle all while perfecting by bedroom eyed gaze at him. His hips snapped as his body trembled, making me wince around his fingers. He had managed to squeeze in more of his cock and even produced some minuscule thrusts that had him looking like he was already prepped to go over the edge.

He gripped harder at my hip to the point where it hurt but I knew it was a sign of pleasure and that's all I wanted to give him. I mewled around his fingers and nudged my legs a little higher to rest by his waist. The adjustment built up pressure in the pit of my stomach and made my overstretched walls clench harder. Johnny groaned deeply and begged me to ease my hold on him but I couldn't. Even when I got used to the new addition of girth I was still suctioned around him. My face flushed as I heard his groans turn into growls. The muscles in his strong arms bulged as his shoulders caved in and an unexpected heat tsunamied into me.

My eyes widened at the revelation that he had cum inside me-the first time I had ever felt the sensation. It was strange and yet because it was Johnny it also felt...cozy in a way. A warm perfection that symbolized him succumbing to everything I had wanted to give him. Though one thing was for sure, I was surprised at how quickly it happened. I let his hand go and instead held onto my tummy that I swore was bulging slightly. Johnny ran a hand over his face and pushed his hair back but as soon as our eyes caught each other his face burned beet red even to the tips of his ears. "Do you...um, do you always cum that fast when you're in someone?" I tried to ask as politely as possible.

He pulled out of me and ran straight to the bathroom, slamming the door harshly. I frowned, realizing that the small comment had hurt his pride but I had to be honest that I wanted more from him. I sat up slowly and felt a rush of cum flow out of me, thicker than I expected. Him pulling out so swiftly left me sore and on wobbly knees yet I walked over to the bathroom, trying to keep my thighs pressed together so I wouldn't make an even bigger mess. "Johnny?" I asked as I knocked on the door.

"Go away." I heard him mumble.

"Johnny, why'd you run? Was it because of what I said? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Go. Away."

I huffed and grabbed a hold of the door. I was prepared to force my way through but it wasn't locked at all. I stumbled as I stepped in and saw Johnny sitting on the toilet cover, head between his knees and arms dangling by his feet. "Johnny." I sunk to my knees in front of him. "Look at me, please."

"No." He replied, muffled.

"Johnny." I repeated, sternly this time. "What's wrong?"

"'M embarrassed." He mumbled.

"Embarrassed? How come?"

"I've never cum that fast before. Ever. I feel like a loser."

I pushed his head up gently and sighed. "Guaranteed I did want it to last longer but this was the first time you were able to thrust inside me. Maybe it was because of all that pent up energy from when you couldn't do it before. Orrrrr," I nudged his arm playfully. "I'm just that damn good."

"I don't need your cockiness now." He pouted cutely.

"It's ok, baby, really. We're still finding each other out. This is the first time anyone has cared about not hurting me. I'd take that over some idiot that would barge in any day. Please don't be embarrassed."

"Easy for you to say."

"You think I want to be this tight? Sure it sounds like a whole fantasy but being tiny sucks. I want to get railed until I can't walk but I cry as soon as something big comes near me."

"You didn't cry this time." He pointed out and I perked up instantly.

"Hey, you're right. I didn't. That's progress!" I smiled and gave him a small kiss in an effort to cheer him up a little. "And you know what this means, right?"

Johnny sat back against the toilet tank and let out an exasperated sigh. "What?"

"We can keep practicing." I rose to my feet and straddled his lap. "I know you like practicing."

Finally a twinge appeared at the corner of his mouth. He couldn't resist the thought of more touching, groping, kissing, and grinding. "Well...I guess you're right."

I peered down at his still mostly hard cock as curiously got the best of me. "You came but you're still hard?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes it takes awhile to go down. Sometimes I can squeeze another one out."

I lifted my hips and slowly sunk down on him, catching him by surprise. He jerked suddenly and held onto me tightly. "Re-Rem!"

"Maybe we can work on me taking all of you this time. And making sure you last longer."

"I-its your fault for fuckin' suffocating me!" He said through grit teeth. "Just like you're doing now!"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and grabbed a handful of his hair. "Don't tell me you cant take it, baby."

He licked his lips and fluttered his eyes shut. "You have no idea what you do to me Rem."

"You're wrong." I wiggled down more on his shaft, now about a quarter of the way down before the tingling started again. "I know exactly how you feel because you drive me crazy too. Especially now."

He buried his face in my neck, splattering kisses here and there. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I giggled and squeezed him tight. "I love you, Johnny."

A silence fell over the room as that was also a first between us. I was afraid he wouldn't reciprocate the sentiment and felt my heart race. Now I was the embarrassed one yet I felt him smile against my collar bone. "Yeah?"

I nodded. "I-is that okay? To say that? I d-dont want to scare you off."

"I'm not going anywhere. Trust me. I love you too." I pursed my lips together to hide a squeal though I was too giddy to even think straight. I almost didn't notice Johnny standing up, myself now in his arms and our bodies remaining connected. "Can I show you how much I love you?"

"Please."

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newtedison · 3 years

Text

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in.

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

#my fingers hurt from typing lol #the crank palace #the maze runner #newt #newtmas #anyway...

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janekfan · 4 years

Note

hi mom! quick update: i had a panic attack at work the other day. luckily my coworker/manager knew what it was and helped me out but i still had to do the rest of my shift but at least i got the next day off. hours are still bad but everyone around me is talking about how proud they are of me... i just barely managed to scrape up a 50 cent raise... im one of three people on my shift... i cant take time off. i know you already did one for me but... i dont have much else to bring comfort

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072691

My darling child! <3 <3 <3 This is inadequate! And I shall do better soon! But I love you and hope this offers a little comfort!

When asked later if he’d known, Tim lied. Of course not. He hadn’t realized just how sick Jon had been, certainly didn’t know how long it’d been. After all, no one really saw him most days, skulking as he did around the archives, a flickering, limping shadow among the stacks. Jon didn’t have use for them and Tim didn’t have use for him. Not until they enacted their plan of attack and finished things once and for all.

So no. When he’d dropped by to toss Martin’s research at him he ignored the pallor, the beads of sweat dotted along his forehead and matting his curls. He paid no mind to the dark flush high in his face, the glazed distance in his eyes, the shortness of his breath as he fought to form one coherent thought. A plea veiled in a request and it gave Tim all the excuse he needed to conveniently forget to fetch Martin for him.

“T’Tim...could, could you ask Martin to, to.” Jon could barely finish a thought. Exhausted, he’d been under so much stress, running himself ragged on adrenaline and awful, terrible statements, and he just wanted to see someone kind. Someone who might help him instead of hate him. Someone who maybe didn’t want to hurt him or kill him. Or worse. “I’d like t’to speak with him? P’please?”

“Sure, Boss.”

Martin wasn’t coming.

Martin wasn’t coming and Jon was miserable. But he didn’t blame Martin for staying away. It was alright. He was probably upset with him or angry or had a hundred other reasons to avoid seeing him and it was fine.

Jon let his cheek collide with the tea-stained blotter and slow tears slipped down to join the other watermarks, the rust traces of his blood. With a thin, trembling finger he connected the scars etched into the surface like constellations, each one tied to a memory; some he remembered, some he’d forgotten, some he wished he could forget. Why the old desk even had this second skin he would never know; it was already damaged and scratched and why bother protecting it when it could never go back to the way it was before? Heaving a shaky breath that didn’t give him near enough air to sustain him, Jon closed his eyes. It would be a lovely thing if sleep restored anything or made him feel anything other than relief for the blissful span of unmeasured time he spent not feeling. Floating, dizzy and suspended here in the dark, so tired it seemed like the room was expanding around him with every hard won exhale, shrinking to crush him with every inhale.

It didn’t seem worth it.

Like he wasn’t worth it.

When Jon was asleep, he drifted along unfamiliar currents, memories that didn’t belong to him or anyone that he knew from hundreds of years ago, from mere months ago. From far underwater he listened to the sounds of the office fade away through a closed door that may as well have been a kilometer away for all the strength he had left. Everyone was leaving for the weekend and he wasn’t able to stand. Everyone was leaving and he wasn’t able to call out, snared in these fathomless depths and sinking fast.

Silence.

Thick. Blanketing. Suffocating.

He was drowning in it. Struggling to breach the surface only seconds at a time to snatch at sips of air and seawater.

The safety lights cast shadows that slipped along the floor like oil, into the cracks, up the walls Jon clung to, casting just enough light to see by and aggravating his head. He wanted to sleep. He needed water and it was how he found himself in the dingy break room leaning heavily on the sink, holding on for dear life as he weathered the salt swells, the tilting of the room and the vertigo swirling up, up, up. The first glass met its end on the floor when it slipped from Jon’s grip and he could have sobbed from the loss, from how hard he’d worked for it only to let it go. The next he cradled close in both hands, sitting at the rickety table and gulping down close to half before coming up to breathe. Cool rivulets trickled down his throat, soaked into the neck of his borrowed tee and he shivered. It was always cool down here. For the documents. Only now he was freezing, longing to fall into the cot, just rest, but it was too far away. He’d never make it as he was. He drank the rest of the water and went through the trouble of a second glass. There were no bottles in the fridge, none in the cupboards. He’d never be able to carry it back to his office. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes. Why was this so hard? Laying his head on folded arms, Jon let the frustration come, shoulders shaking, and when he woke again he forced more water on himself and limped to the doorway.

Which way?

This time, a cough bubbling up in his lungs jerked him out of the deep. It was harsh, painful, and he lost the remaining water in his stomach from the force of it, tasted iron behind his tongue. Groaning, clutching at his aching chest, Jon realized he was on the floor in the hallway. Not even halfway to his goal and he didn’t remember collapsing. His limbs were lead, movement sluggish because of it, and he only managed to drag himself another meter before the spiraling of the corridor forced him to close his eyes. The fever was relentless, sapping him of everything, throbbing in his bones and boiling in his blood. Jon coughed again. The hot, tight tangle in the center of him drew tighter, a noose, instead of giving way and the black lurking at the edges of his vision swallowed the rest of it.

Martin adjusted the blanket in his arms, thinking again that it would have been easier to have put it in his bag for the walk from the train. He didn’t regret his choice though. He remembered how cold it could get down in the archives and Jon looked like he could do with a bit of comfort these days. Maybe being wrapped up in this monster would do it. Shouldering it, he took the narrow stairs, surprised that no one else was here yet. But considering none of them really wanted to do much actual work these days it made sense. Martin got his things situated at his desk, leaving the comforter overflowing in his chair before heading off to start the tea kettle warming. Glass crunched under his shoes and when Martin turned on the light it was clear Jon had dropped it. What was confusing was that he had left it. He wasn’t the most fastidious about his appearance or his surroundings but even he wouldn’t leave broken glass just lying around. WIth a crease in his brow, Martin swept it up, dumping it in the bin before turning off the squealing kettle. He prepared two mugs as usual and the only reason he didn’t drop them upon seeing Jon crumpled up in the hall was because he froze stock still.

“J’Jon?” He abandoned the tea on a desk, skidding on his knees to a stop at his side. “Jon! Oh, no, no. Jon, wake up.” Ashen, burning up under Martin’s fluttering hands, chest stuttering with half breaths. Had he been like this all weekend? Had he been like this before they all left? How did, why didn’t he check on him? Only when Martin slid his arms beneath his body did Jon stir at all, a pitiful sound of pain pulled from between his lips when he was lifted. A halfhearted cough ending in a moan. “It’s alright, Jon. You’re alright. I’ve got you.” He should call 999. That’s what he should do but with all that had been happening, was that the right choice?

“Mmar’in…” He toed open the door to document storage and laid him down, brushed back his curls and took up the cold hand Jon was reaching with. “Ma--” His grip was barely there when the deep, damp coughing jag stole the air right out of him, so strong Martin levered him forward, worried he would choke. Days. Days alone like this. He swept the tears away with careful fingers, traced the shadows like bruises beneath his eyes.

“It’s alright.” He propped him up against the corner, wishing there were more pillows to make him comfortable and pulled away, heart twisting up when Jon whimpered at the loss. “Hush, now. I’ll be back, I won’t leave you.” Quick as he could Martin gathered supplies, medicine for the raging fever, the blanket he’d brought along, a thermos of tea, checking on Jon in his fitful sleep with each trip. He sounded bad, he was having too much trouble breathing and the crackling wheeze was terrifying. The next time he came back it was with a basin of hot water and a towel. He placed it in Jon’s lap, sliding behind him to steady both him and the bowl, gentling him when he startled. “Just breathe, Jon. This, this should help.” The steam rose, bathing his face with humidity and it was probably wishful thinking but Martin thought each breath came a little easier. When Jon coughed Martin pressed a handful of tissue against his mouth, tossing the mess into the bin and letting him curl up against him for just a few moments. He was so warm. Too warm and Martin plied him with paracetamol and tea, as much as he would take before letting him fall back to sleep, smoothing a damp flannel over his forehead and leaving him to rest.

Soft, cool hands, kind, reassuring words. Jon drank them in like a desert after the rain, let them flood him, take away all the fear and loneliness he was holding onto. Martin was here. Martin was helping. Martin was holding him, saying things he didn’t quite understand in a steady voice. He wanted to cry from the relief of it, of having someone, of not being alone and he thought he might have but there was no teasing or threatening. Nothing he did made him hurt more. Everything he did made him hurt less. There was tea and pillows and blankets, warmth to replace the memory of lying on a cold floor and drifting in and out.

But he was gone now. He’d left him alone and Jon wanted him here. Struggling to his trembling legs he gave himself time to steady, limping out of the room and following the familiar voices and latching onto Martin’s. He sounded upset and Jon wondered if it was because of him. Most people were upset with him these days. He heard Basira and Melanie and Tim and he didn’t want to see them but Martin was with them and he wanted to see Martin. Martin with his kindness he didn’t deserve. He was cold. He was shaking.

Tim was yelling.

It made something in him afraid.

It made his chest hurt. It made it harder to breathe. It made him want to hide. And when he became even louder, Jon shrank into himself. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t.

“And speak of the devil!” Tim’s mocking tone rang in his head like a bell. “He shall appear.”

“Tim!”

“I’m. M’Martin? I.”

“What, Boss? What else could you possibly take that you haven’t already?”

“J’just--” Still human enough to want, too much a monster that he wasn’t allowed to have. Tim took a threatening step forward, and Jon forgot what he was going to say in favor of stumbling backwards, falling to the ground and knocking the air out of himself. He clawed at his neck, suddenly completely unable to breathe when Tim stood over him, towering and tall and seconds later Martin was taking up the whole of his horizon. Just Martin.

“It’s alright, Jon. Let’s get you back to bed, hm?”

“W’will you stay?” He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth, the sniggering coming from behind the larger man confirming what he already knew. Martin had already helped him. He had no right to ask for more. But again Martin carried him to document storage and again he placed him on the cot and this time, he stayed with him, wrapping him up warm and safe and tucking his head beneath his chin. Jon shuddered, the aftershocks of his panic and embarrassment still rocketing through him. “Martin...don’t. Don’t feel well…”

“I know.” Martin pet his head slowly and Jon relished it, pressing his ear against his broad chest and listening to the rhythm of his beating heart. He probably wouldn’t remember this anyway, not with a fever like this already making everything so fuzzy, and he wanted, just for a little while, to feel safe. “I’m sorry.” It was nice to hear even though Martin had nothing to apologize for. It was still nice that someone would say sorry to him. Exhausted all over again, the space between blinks stretched longer and longer. “You can sleep, Jon.” But what if he left? He didn’t want him to leave, the thought of it wetting his face and just like before Martin wiped the tears away. “It’s okay, just close your eyes. I’m not going anywhere.”

#TMA #the magnus archives #jon sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #but just enough to cause problems #sickfic #pneumonia #fever #caretaking #sleep #jon just wants hugs #each word of this was painstakingly pulled out of my brain with pliers #i am not loving this one :/

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fullmetalscullyy · 3 years

Note

royai + “you make me feel safe, like im allowed to be anything i want” 👀

meg ur mind,, anyone want some young!royai 👀

thank you for the prompt friend i really appreciate it!! i hope you enjoy

for reference this is set after roy decodes the secrets of flame alchemy on her back

rated: g | words: 1913

“It’s a beautiful sunset,” Riza breathed.

Roy hummed in agreement, his fringe tickling his forehead as the breeze caught it. “It really is.”

It took every ounce of his power not to turn his head to look at her instead, finding her far more captivating in the light than the setting sun.

They were sitting on the porch step of her father’s house, looking out over the fields and beyond. In the evening breeze the growing wheat moved like water, swaying back and forth creating a sea of gold. In the distance they saw the doors of the neighbour’s barn close for the night, sealing the horses inside, safe and secure. The sky was burnt orange, the orb of the sun just kissing the horizon as it fell. As it lowered, so did the temperature by a fraction, but it wasn’t enough to cause any kind of proper discomfort.

A fleeting thought crossed Roy Mustang’s mind, that he could shuffle closer to his companion so they could keep each other warm. If he were at his own house back in Central he would have offered a blanket and draped it over her shoulders.

“I’ll miss sunsets like this back in Central.”

Regret flooded him, his face dropping when he saw Riza’s own smile fall from her face. Her head tipped forward to look down at her knees. On her neck, the top of her tattoo peeked out from her slightly too big, open collared shirt. The sight of it made Roy’s stomach twist. He’d spend weeks deciphering that monster, but time hadn’t made it any easier to look at.

“I’m sure you will,” Riza replied, her voice barely a mumble.

He cursed himself for removing that smile from her face.

“I’ll keep it with me, though,” he hastily added, “like I do with every moment I’ve spent here.”

His face turned crimson as his brain blurted out what he was thinking before his mouth could stop it.

Tentatively, Riza peeked out the side of her eye. Her fringe was half obscuring her vision, and Roy hoped and prayed she didn’t see how bad his embarrassment was. The smile she was fighting to keep off her face told him his wish had not been granted.

“Thank you, Mr. Mustang,” she replied sincerely.

He couldn’t be too annoyed at his inability to think before he spoke because it returned a pleased smile to her face after all.

“You’re welcome, Miss Hawkeye,” he managed to get out. “What will you do with yourself?”

A deep sigh heaved through her body, expanding her chest and back before exhaling quietly. “I don’t know.” Her eyes lifted to look out into the fields. The light accentuated the gold in her hair, but also the colour of her eyes. They looked amber in the fading sun. Beautiful.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“You’ve already done so much.”

“I could always do more. If you’d like me too, of course,” Roy offered. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

The look she was giving him… Her head cocked, her fringe falling to the side while she regarded him. It looked like she was smiling, but her expression was quizzical. Like one was trying to figure out an amusing puzzle.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she dismissed with a mysterious smile.

Roy blinked at her, trying to discern what that smile meant.

They returned to silence. Roy was still stumped by that look she’d given him. Settling back in his chair, he contemplated it further inside his mind, turning over the nuances of her tone and changes in expression.

“Thank you. For everything… Roy.”

His head snapped up at the use of his first name, returning him jarringly to the present. That tiny, appreciative smile was back, making his heart stutter twice in such a short space of time. The way his name had sounded coming from her… It was breathed, like it was a forbidden secret. Under the watchful eye of her father he’d always been Mr. Mustang. That title was sacred to him, because that was what Riza called him, and vice versa with her, for Miss Hawkeye. But… Hearing his first name spoken so openly after all this time…

He wanted to hear it again.

“You’ve done so much for me recently,” Riza continued, oblivious to how hard his heart was pounding inside his ribcage. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Any time, Riza.”

The name was foreign on his tongue as he tested it out, but he enjoyed every moment. It felt like a step forward in a promising direction. Like the shackles her father had on her were finally lifted, letting her be free and grow into her own person, and not just his caretaker.

A flush covered her cheeks, making Roy wonder if it had anything to do with the use of her first name.

“What?” He wanted to prompt her, to find out if that was the reason for her cheeks prettily turning pink in the last light of the day.

“It’s nothing,” she stammered quietly. Shoulders bunched up to ears, chin tucking into her chest as she tried to hide from him.

“Riza, what is it?”

He had a habit of prodding too much. Riza Hawkeye was not one to be poked at and investigated, especially not by him. Whatever needed to be revealed would come in her own time and she would never be rushed. However, Roy’s eager inquisitive streak had gotten the best of him. He just hoped, in hindsight, he hadn’t made her retreat further from him, effectively ending their conversation completely.

With a breath held tightly inside his lungs, he observed her form as she shied away, hoping she would answer. Hoping he hadn’t pushed her too far into a corner.

“It’s been tough, but you being here through it all has helped a lot,” Riza murmured. Her shoulders relaxed and her head tilted, eyes catching onto movement on the path before them. A worm was making its way across the concrete, its movements slow and patient.

“It has?” Roy was bewildered. He didn’t think he’d helped that much. He’d just taken the secrets from her and imposed.

Riza nodded, her expression changing to assurance, moving away from idle contemplation. “It’s made me happy.”

Her reply, so simple and spoken as if it was the truth of the world, made colour rise up the young man’s cheeks.

“Roy?” Her inquisitive expression was wondering why he’d turned away from her so sharply. It was to hide his blush, but she didn’t need to know that.

Upon hearing her reasons, a warmth spread across his chest. It trickled down through his ribs and settled into his heart, burrowing in deep as something he would keep with him for the rest of his days.

He’d done that for her. She’d kindly opened up her home and her sanctuary to him. It had felt like all Roy had done recently was take and take. The feeling of being able to give something back in return was welcome. Not that Roy Mustang thought the indomitable Riza Hawkeye needed any kind of protection from the likes of him – the image of her rifle resting against the wall by her front door flashed into his mind – but it was… nice. He felt useful to her. And that was something he wanted to be.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, schooling his expression. He could blame the heat of the evening on the flush of his skin if she asked. “I’m glad I could make you h – happy.” He cursed himself for the sudden onset of a stutter.

“You do,” she replied confidently, turning back to look out over the fields. Her confidence dwindled slowly, turning timid as she opened her mouth to speak further. “You… make me feel safe.”

It was so quiet he had to strain and concentrate, but when the words sunk in Roy was afraid his heart had stopped beating. His head turned sharply to look at her, but she was looking back down at that worm, shoulders back up at her ears.

Well. Now it was going to be even harder to return to Central alone.

“I do?”

His question was stupid. His brain couldn’t comprehend anything else, so it left his lips with the same intonation as his feelings towards it. He wished he could form something more coherent for her in what felt like a pivotal moment of their evening. Riza was being open and sharing. It didn’t happen very often, so he should be cherishing this, not staring at her blankly in surprise.

“Yes,” she whispered shyly. “It was… hard. Not having Father here. Knowing he was really gone, and it was just me left.” Her voice had grown stronger, her shoulders peeling down from her ears one final time as she voiced her thoughts and well-hidden feelings. “Your assistance has reminded me that I’m more than just his daughter, the bearer of his secrets.”

Riza’s head turned. There was a fire in her eyes, a confidence, and Roy was trapped by it. Held steady by her determination.

“You make me feel safe,” she repeated slowly, testing out her wording while her cheeks became covered in a dusting of pink, “like I’m allowed to be anything I want. Sharing my burden with you was the best decision I’ve made,” she nodded, confirming it for herself.

“Oh, um.” Roy continued to stutter.

Expectantly, Riza had looked up at him but her head cocked as he sat there staring at her instead.

He didn’t have an answer for that. He didn’t know what to reply. If anything, that sentence made his yearning to stay even stronger. The dedication was on the tip of his tongue. Lips parted but no words left him, just a strangled sound.

“I’m sorry if that was too bold of me, Mr. Mustang,” she apologised, casting her gaze away from him. Retreating from him. The use of his title stung.

No! The voice in his head yelled the reply but it didn’t quite make its way out of his throat. She’d just bared her soul to him and all he could do was stare.

“No, no,” he reassured hastily, hands waving in front of him. Roy shifted on the step, moving closer. It caught her off guard, and Riza flinched in surprise. “No, not too bold at all,” he added. “Thank you. But I feel unworthy of such a praise from you.”

“Just…” Riza sighed as she looked into his eyes, suddenly very close. “Thank you,” she finished, completely sincere.

“Thank you in return, Riza.”

“What for?” Her brow creased in her confusion.

“For opening yourself up to me. With… your father’s work,” he gestured over her shoulder at her back, “and for just now.”

Tentatively, Roy reached out for her hand and placed his atop hers. A quiet gasp left her lips, making him smile.

“Thank you for trusting and believing in me,” he murmured.

“It’s an easy thing to do, I’ve realised.” Her admittance was shy, but her voice held strong in volume. She didn’t retreat away from him.

“I’m glad.” His smile almost split his face in two.

Both of them remained sitting there, looking up at the dark sky as they waited for the stars to come out to play. Their joined hands never parted, both of them shrouded underneath the warmth of a single blanket.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai oneshot #megthemighty #ask #emma writes #fic request

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trashcatsnark · 3 years

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Ooooh, gimmie those juicy, juicy Johnny backstory headcanons 👀👀👀

Okay, so I always feel kind of bad? I guess, talking about my ideas of his backstory because A) I feel like they’re very cliche,

B) I know I don’t know every drop of TTRPG Lore, despite that not truly being canon to the game a lot of the time and also the cyberpunk universe timeline is kinda a mess, so i just do whatever i want (like samurai’s starting when he was 15 and also when the war he served in started, like the amount of overlap between the war and samurai’s active years is insane and the game can’t decide when Johnny was a soldier and when he was a grungy rocker)

C) given CDPR still plans to expand on the game with DLC and stuff, I know it’s fully possible that my ideas will be debunked in the coming months.

So, take all of these ideas with a grain of salt and as always if your headcanons conflict with mine; that’s cool that’s why they’re headcanons

I feel like Johnny had a rough childhood firstly, cause in the immortal words of Linda Belcher; “Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don't stand like that.” Like everything about him screams shitty childhood. My brain for some reasons specifically imagines, alcoholic abusive father and enabling compliant mother. Which, again, I know is the cliche of shitty childhood backstories, but it is cliche largely because its an unfortunately common reality. I imagine his first guitar is probably one of the only nice gifts he ever got and music was largely an escape. I came up with the idea too of his father having been a blue collar worker who was injured on the job; unable to work afterwards, given barely anything for workers comp and ongoing unemployment. Leaving the family struggling financially. Fucked over by his employers, turning to abusing pills and alcohol to cope with pain and raging at Johnny and Johnny’s mother. Teaching and instilling habits that would follow Johnny too.

I like the idea of Johnny and Kerry meeting first as kids, junior high to high school. And between the years of at least 13-15, the earliest conception stages of samurai started. And I do mean the earliest, messiest, barebones stages of Samurai; it was basically two teenage boys playing and scream singing their unrefined lyrics in a garage. Cause they were kids and just wanted something to do, something to get their mind off the shitstorm of life. Maybe, i debate internally, they do manage to meet Nancy, Denny, and Henry maybe they all grew up in Texas and with someone more competent even at their young ages, Nancy manages to get them actually going a bit as a young band. A few little underground grungy gigs playing at bars they weren’t old enough to drink in.

Now again, formation of Samurai and Johnny serving in the war, lead to like the biggest question marks in his backstory because nothing lines up very well. The war he served in started when he was fifteen, albeit that’s not for sure when he enlisted. Given we’ve been told children can in universe be scouted by corps to be their soliders; its not out of the realm of possibility that he served before he was 18 and was drafted as a child. But. Johnny specifically states he enlisted, that he made that choice. I’ve stated before that given how long the war lasted, its fully possible he enlisted at 18, served so much of the last four years of the war then ditched following his friend dying for him.

However, I have also considered and really do personally like the idea, that Johnny did enlist himself and did so prior to being 18, though not as young as 15. Because, he forged his documents to enlist. There’s incidents and documentation of people as young as 15 faking their birth certificates and high school diplomas in order to enlist. I could absolutely see a 16-17 year old Johnny, frustrated with life and thinking he could have a bigger impact in the world in the military, forging his documents and enlisting. This leads to of course Samurai breaking up for that time.

He serves around 4-5 years, deserting and leaving around 2009. Spends his month spinning his wheels and staring at the Pistis Sofia. He comes out of his funk and is ready to send his message about the dangers of corps to the world and he knows just how to do it. Fully adopts the name Johnny Silverhand and goes to track down his old friend Kerry. Samurai is freshly reformed.

Right around that same time, he meets Rogue. (which even this is fucky in canon????? Rogue says lets pretend its 2015 and idk what a bastard you are, Alt died in 2013, he’d already cheated on Rogue by then???? ANYWAY) They meet about the 2009-2010 mark as Samurai is coming back together. Personally, I like to imagine they met while she was on the job. She had to eliminate a target who happened to be at the venue Samurai was doing a gig and Johnny managed to stumble upon her snapping the guy’s neck or something. And she thinks her covers blown, but hahaha Johnny’s into that and is like “hey, you want a drink?” and is then like determined to get with her and they fall into a relationships. Then around 2011-2012 he fucks it all up, cheats, there in my opinion is definite overlap in his relationship with Rogue and his relationship with Alt.

I also feel like he met Alt at a samurai gig? I can’t remember the TTRPG lore of it, but I feel like in general Johnny met most of the women he had relationships with at Samurai gigs, partially cause he’s a just...a liitle egotistical. Alt however was there as someone who was genuinely into the music, (Rogue at one point in canon condescendingly calls her a groupie and I can’t but feel there’s a bit of truth in thats how it started). But Johnny started to legitimately feel things for her, but being Johnny, he never properly articulated that and always had to keep fucking it up. They fall into a pretty whiplashy toxic relationship over the course of a year or two where they do genuinely feel for each other, but Johnny can’t ever let his walls down enough to tell her that in earnest and is constantly doing things to fuck up the relationship, cause he’s a dick. Until in 2013, well, we know what happens.

Johnny has to spend some time with nomads, (probably after releasing Never Fade Away, because I do see this man as the kind of guy to postpone going in hiding just to release his song for Alt before doing so) as do Rogue and Santiago after the attack on Arasaka. Because Johnny’s busy trying not to be spotted. They wait for the heat to die down before Johnny comes back to Night City. Him and Rogue rekindle things for a time, but it ultimately is on and on and dies out again, because Johnny is stinky bastard man. Kerry had already been talking about going solo and by the time Johnny’s back in the city he had and Johnny does his solo thing for a while too. But ultimately Samurai reforms for a bit, in 2020, neither Kerry or Johnny quite ready to let it go yet. Somewhere also during this, Spider Murphy helps deliver a message from Alt about her status and asking him to let it go. He does not and joins the Morgan Blackhand mission to attack Arasaka Tower in hopes of saving Alt’s construct in the process.

Thats the barebones of some of my thoughts and headcanons; Im sure some are not lore compliant, I’m sure my timeline is messy and clashes horrifcally with CDPR’s also messy timeline. But, these are some of my thoughts, headcanons and ideas that will probably be defunct and pointless in a week.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #johnny silverhand #THIS IS PROBAbLY A MESS AND IM SORRY #Anonymous

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