#i really hope my friend likes this

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!! #I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁) #it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (: #and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....'' #and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her. #all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond. #so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said: #the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''

[ruporas]

on the run!! (ID in alt)

#trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #nicholas d wolfwood #love & peace crew my beloved. its been awhile since i last finished a piece for all 4 of them which is Blasphemy on my part #anyway i just wanted to make an action ish illustration for them ... but my end goal was to be able to piece them off in duos #i like seeing them next to each other in those ways!! though vash's expression is a bit funny bc he's always going to be like >:O #i hope something can be gleamed from the way theyre all positioned though. i mean some things are blatant like how milly is all :D #certainly in tune to the danger and not Oblivious but still headstrong and capable of pushing thru alongside her friends!! #and mermilly are both looking forward.. onward to the future.... vw are both looking back... ww's in the back and trying to deflect #bullets with his punisher #“paws is it really this serious” No... IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE but i like to think about it #ruporas art

[sergle]

WEEOO WEEOO UPCOMING SKIRT!!! I have a new skirt design cooking with @mayakern and two slightly different color options test-printed for it!!

If you can't tell the difference, the one on the left has a slightly darker, slightly more emerald green bg, and the one on the right has a slightly lighter, slightly more warm green bg! I'm very inch rested which version ppl like more, not just visually, but what colors would be nicer as a skirt that you can match outfits with!

and also here's the concept sketch for the skirt. ok thank you pls vote!

#also I hope you guys like the cherry tomatoes bc I really really like this design #I hope that even if your personal favorite color doesn't win then you still enjoy the skirt bc I truly just think it bangs #sergle skirts #sergle art #I'm mixed on it personally and I don't have enough friends awake to get a good sample size LMAO #I think the emeraldy one is pretty but that might just be because I think blue toned greens go with my current hair color...

[zanukavat]

anyone up for heavenly sword multiplayer

here's a still in better quality too, since i had to compress the gif down to below 10mb:

#HI IM REALLY HAPPY WITH THIS I HOPE U LIKE IT. ok i will now disappear back into my small computr #gif #eyestrain #benrey #hlvrai #hlvrai benrey #benry #hlvrai benry #half life vr ai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #half life vr but the ai is sentient #benrey hlvrai #...................................playstatiooooonnnnnnn #my art #also the qr code only works.uh. sometimes #hfdsjkf #but it works ! my friend tested it #also holy shit what a struggle trying to compress this was

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

ORV is about enduring the horrors in real time.

(for @everyonesfavoritebastard)

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #I read a few arcs of ORV a few years back so I am at least loosely familiar with the characters and premise. #ORV dares ask the question: “what if you finally met your beloved blorbo who helped you cope through the horrors - and he *hates you*” #The reversal of what most people feel about some of their blorbos (love them but would never want to meet someone like that in person) #I would love to keep reading orv but it is very long and I already promised to finished like...3 other shows and several books. #my gesture of affection is consuming the media my friends care about. Alas I have none who are into orv to motivate me. #Also hey there raffle winner everyonesfavouritebastard - you gave no prompt at all so I took a random swing based on ur pfp and blog #I hope you like kim dokja! I am terribly sorry if you meant to leave a prompt and something glitched #EDIT: Found out raffle winner everyonesfavouritbastard didn't know it was a raffle. Homie...I'm So Sorry. #Now I *really* hope you like Kim Dokja. #You're so valid; I too would be mesmerized by the beauty of stackedbird's lovely little apple art.

[smokbeast]

Papyrus sketches from my book the other day!

I like to think papyrus is serious and can become angry when he wants to be, but he’s such a nice and genuine sweet character he wouldn’t want to show that to the character or others.

#Like he’s just so kind he wants to see the best in people always even when they’re bad and he holds back his own pain in hopes they come #thru to it. That’s how I saw it with undyne and frisk at least and how protective he became of them after you become his friend #He has the potential obviously. He gets mad at sans JDKFJr but he’s just really sweet and I love him;;; #I’m rambling sorry I love papyrus sm #he’s like the sun of undertale and IM BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY IT #me being silly n cringe on main LMAo #art #my art #sketches #undertale #papyrus #undertale art #I almost spelled papyrus wrong and a mutt papyrus tag came OUT WTF DOES THAT MEAN #MAYBE I DONT WANNA KNOW DKDKGN

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#sherlock #it might be the cough medicine but I'm really feeling the bbc sherlock wedding episode today #a good feeling ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡ #like finding an old block of cheese in the back of the fridge you forgot about and its gotten super hard and chewy #i currently have half a block of gouda curating in the vegetable cupboard #waiting #how are you doing friends!! C: #I'm good! I still have the cough but I also got a new scarf #I'm still thinking about buying window colors as well but I am waiting if that is also just because of the cough medicine #I can't believe it's already been a year since I have moved! last year I was doing everything here for the first time #and now everything is happening for a second time! that year was both very long and also happened very fast #our floor in the “office” my father wanted to install still is not completly done but he threw up last time he tried #he did not threw up because of the floor but because every time he does a home renovation project he drinks 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola #we are trying to not make him drink 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola but he doesn't want anyone else to finish the floor I think so we just do #not mention the hole in the floor #have a nice autumn day friends!! I hope you're doing well! ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ ) #♥

[oonwah13]

Happy birthday @ender1821 pookie 😋

#geminitay #pearlescentmoon #my friend really likes them a very definitely normal amount so i promised to draw them for their birthday #but im not familiar with them so sorry if its ooc or weird ect ect #i hope u like ur gift pookie #yay #yippee #:3 #shiny duo #oonwah13 fanart

[turtleblogatlast]

Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise donnie #rise leo #rise mikey #rise raph #donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well #same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident #anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol #Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family #Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them #leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust #I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha #turtle art tag #curious as to what everyone else headcanons #the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo #all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now #I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them #went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭 #ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun #my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT #note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum #if that makes sense #headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas #I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd #I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh #and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter #Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic #I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder

[pain-in-the-butler]

A compilation of art for my Dadbastian fanfic Coattails that I commissioned from the incredibly talented @tomoyoo! They went above and beyond with the details... Each picture feels as cozy and warm as a storybook, right? I'm so delighted with how they turned out!! Thank you for making each one so beautiful! 🥹🥹🥹

#coattails #not sebaciel so please don't tag as such! thank you! #kuroshitsuji #the backgrounds are just gorgeous.. thank you for your research and dedication to them #the outfits in the first one are amazing! I love Ciel's shirt and Soma's whole ensemble is so cozy yet regal #look at Ciel in the cardigan in the third one though? he is cozy #the expressions are my favorite. they're so animated! just as I imagine them to be.. #I really like Ciel's in the first pic because I imagined him looking annoyed but you actually made him seem curious #and I actually like that more I think it's cute... he really does want to be friends with Soma huh 🥺 #Sebastian's expression in the third picture is great. >:o #he's about to throw hands with an old lady #Edward and Ciel's competitive faces! being silly... I love Them #Ciel needs to get swept up in silly competitions more often I think... #and then the last one!! bonding over tea! it's so amazingly tender 😭 #I don't think I imagined it coming out so calming and gentle... it's so emotional #it makes me want to keep writing! #if you are a Coattails reader I hope you love these as much as I do! #and if you aren't a Coattails reader... maybe these will convince you to become one? 😏 because they are so full of personality! #thanks times a million tomoyoo!! #(I should wait till tomorrow to post but I want to do it now...)

[beannary]

WOAH I JUST HIT 3K FOLLOWERS DTIYS TIME!!!!!

HI GUYS WOAH THERES A LOT OF YOU NOW!!! And I wanted to do a silly little DTIYS as a little celebration! At the beginning of the year I was hoping to get around 1000 followers by December and Uh You Could Say I Surpassed That Amount Just A Bit aksldjhflkasjhfd so heres a fun DTIYS as a celebration!

So there aren't going to be any prizes or deadlines or anything like that because I am going to be starting graduate school soon and I won't have the time to prepare any prizes for the winners, so this DTIYS is just for funzies!

I know this is a list of rules but really you can go crazy go stupid with the DTIYS aksjdfh I don't really have any rules for what you guys should draw for this idk just keep it vaguely similar but also you can do whatever you want

If you participate please tag me so I can see it! And also tag the post with #beannary3kdtiys so all of the drawings are in the same place :)

#my art #tmnt #tmnt 2018 #2018 tmnt #tmnt 2k18 #2k18 tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt donatello #tlp au #the little prince separated au #for real though I am super appreciative that everyone has been so supportive as I like #experiment with making the little prince separated au #idk its been super fun and it just makes me really happy that people like this au! #and idk ive made a lot of nice friends through making this au #and im really grateful that everyone has made this such a positive experience for me #and i hope that reading the au and following the comic has been a positive experience for you all as well!

[spoopdeedoop]

hey so remember that human au fic i mentioned i would write

#my art #i guess #just a really small doodle to advertise lmfaooo #doctor who #doctor who fanart #thirteenth doctor #eleventh doctor #starlight strings au #matt smith #jodie whittaker #i love them so much it makes me ill #siblings 😔😔😔 #i came up with the duo name starsuspenders for them but like. a friend of mine calls them 24 and i think that is way funnier #phox ur hilarious i hope you know ‼️‼️

[purplew]

tHIS IS THE LEVEL OF UNHINGED IM HERE FOR

#zukka #if your faves dont do fanon justice like this are they really ur faves #fucking insane #batahit wild #never did i think i would see this day #but lawd has blessed us in this trying times #i love them theyre so silly #they're driving the zukka train unapologetically and im here for it #and theyre so real #cuz i also would get matching tshirts w my best friend if our characters were shipped da fuq #i love them ur honor #natla #atla #zuko #sokka #zukka nation #atla zukka #whoever's fanart is this #i hope ur having a good day #tumblr works hard #but ian and dallas werk harder

[problemcore]

like yea when i was. freaking 16. i saw buccellati as a very parental figure to the passione kids. but im 20 now and im overcome with dread at how the entire world is at his shoulders the entire season. its terrifying. and you reduce him to the mom friend? whatever is actually going on with him is much more intriguing

#i just woke up i hope any of this makes sense #but like bruno is such a heartbreaking character to me. #plus. idk its weird to me now. i have friends who are younger than me in 3-4 . i dont see them as my kids. they're their own people #idk the weird treatment bruno gets in the fandom annoys me #anyway. thanks for reading. im gonna go think about eating breakfast but really im not gonna get out of bed. #chris noises #jjba