#i read les mis and i am not a fan of the parisian sewer systems

[papenniesandbentoboxes]

Face Reveal!

Yay! I have 100 lovely, wonderful, amazing followers! Thank you all for being so awesome! 

As promised, I’m doing a face reveal!

That’s me.

I also promised a chaotic mini biography, so here goes. This is worse than Nigel Mookerjee’s memoirs. Also, his memoirs are iconic and beautiful and I could never compete with him.

(btw by mini i mean mini by nigel mookerjee standards so this is extensive and not mini by normal standards and very chaotic)

When I was born I was very very tiny. I had bright fiery carrot red hair with white around my crown. I was a genetic rarity since there was only one other redhead in my family in the past 100+ years. From the moment I could move my hands I did jazz hands and acted like a game show host instead of being a baby. 

Going on to preschool, I remember spending all my time playing with the musical instruments and coloring outside the lines because I hated the strict teacher and then they locked me in the bathroom for five minutes of time out. 

I started reading chapter books at 4. When I was 5, my mom borrowed a book called How to Teach Your Child to Read or something like that and I straight up just read that book. I started reading Nancy Drew books when I was 6 and Hardy Boys when I was 8.

When I was eight, I started professionally acting. I played Tiny Tim in the Act Theatre’s A Christmas Carol. I hated the guy who played Bob Cratchit because he was a jerk.

When my sister turned 6, we had a birthday party where my mom and I made her a DIY pinata out of paper mache and an oatmeal box thing. It took an hour to get it open. All the kids tried with the plastic bat and eventually the bat broke. After that, we got an ax handle and used that to hit the pinata. Didn’t work. We eventually had to get a chainsaw and use that. After we got the pinata open, everything was just plastic and candy dust.

I was in team level gymnastics by the age of ten, but I never competed because my mom and I weren’t gonna pay $100 for a leo, tshirt, and flipflops. I was in level 5 gymnastics when I quit.

I was homeschooled in the Pacific Northwest (where it is wet and grey 97% of the time) and moved to the high desert areas of Washington when I was 13. It is very hot and I hate heat. If anyone tells me this part of Washington isn’t a desert, I will show thou pictures of the natural vegetation with is DIRT, SAGEBRUSH, and FRICKIN TUMBLEWEEDS.

I’ve never gotten carsick in my life, but both my dogs do and they have both thrown up on my lap on three separate occasions.

In my freshman year winter break, I came back to school in January sunburned. 

When I was 14, my sister and I joined a circus. A youth circus, but still, a circus. The other kids were like, “You’re first years, you’ll only be clowns in your first year.” So, being me, I rebelled and proved them wrong, getting into 6 acts my first year. Suck it, haters. My main acts that I did were spansets (it’s an obscure circus act), Roman ladders, tumbling, swinging ladders, and tight wire (low wire without the poles). I eventually became a ringmistress and got to wear a really neat red and gold tail coat and a top hat. I had to quit circus after a knee injury from falling off of low wire and then making it 10x worse after my tumbling act.

The fabric on my spansets feels like if cheese graters were a fabric. It has ripped off my skin and I hate it.

My favorite person at circus taught me how to do a back flip through Newton’s First Law of physics.

When I was 18, I won 3rd place in the mezzo soprano category at State for vocal stuff. After I collected my medal, my choir teacher and her husband (the vice principal at my highschool) took my mom and I to eat Mexican food. The waiter there flirted with me and because I lack all social skills, I said, “Yike, buddy, I really like this cheese.” My mother, my choir teacher, and her husband laughed hard about that.

I sing opera, gospel, jazz, musical theater, and country. Because I was bored, at the beginning of quarantine, I got dressed up in my Legolas costume and sang “Kerosine” by Miranda Lambert in my front yard with my giant karaoke machine speaker.

When I was in Les Mis, I played Fantine and at the end when I was standing on top of the barricade, the lights would go black and then we’d have to go off stage to get ready for bows. I fell off the barricade more than one time. I was also a barricade boy so I got to die twice in the same show. I wore giant sideburns and a black wig and I was A MANLY MAN.

I played Scuttle in The Little Mermaid and nearly got killed because I rammed my head into a speaker and then fell off the stage and into the side door. It was fun.

My first roller coaster was the Incredicoaster in Disneyland.

After my first crush and heartbreak, I got over that stupid ass guy by going rock climbing, repelling, and white water rafting. If you ever want to get over a guy, just do something that could potentially kill you without safety gear.

I got nicknamed Buffy by one of my college roommates because I have arms not unlike Thor’s. I like the nickname, hate the person who gave it to me. She was an asshole and made my depression worse.

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 19 (just this February) and it was like watching a TV show with a twist ending and then looking back at all the foreshadowing in all 19 seasons of this weird TV show.

I’m allergic to cashews and we found out the hard way.

I lack most social skills unless I am in a professional setting and then I turn into a weird charmer. 

I can gargle “What A Wonderful World” and “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.

I won my church’s Star Wars trivia night and won a nice basket of Star Wars stuff. I also won my library’s Star Wars trivia night. No one else knew what Boba Fett’s ship’s name was.

This is my sister and I at circus. I was a ringmistress that day and she was Lead Clown, Do-See-Do. I did her makeup. 

So that’s me. This is the face behind all the memes.

Stay rad, dudes. Yeet.

#clue crew #it's meeeee #face reveal #clue crew face reveal #i frickin love memes #one time when i was in the musical Oliver! there was this one boy who kept annoying me so i took my prop bowl and broke it on his head #i also used to be able to do a perfect gollum impression before my voice kinda changed #it was depressing #i read les mis and i am not a fan of the parisian sewer systems #my dogs are weird #one is a catahoula and one is a rat-chi #they're both psycho #one more than the other #my sister knows every single lyric to toxic by britney spears #and when i told her about my joe headcanon she recited the entire song to me #i was like #i didn't know you knew that song #she was like #of course i know that song #i mean #idk anymore #one time at college it was karaoke night and i sang girlfriend by avril lavigne #the sk8er boi #then teenagers by mcr #then welcome to the black parade #everyone was surprised i knew emo music #bruh #i don't look emo but i am on the inside #my best friend is 10x more emo than me