#i put manners in quotes bc some of it was manners some of it was ‘

[sant-riley]

[Random Task force 141 × gen z! member headcanons]

A/N: Reader goes by the codename Teddy in my writing! Along with she/her pronouns :) I am also extremely biased with Ghost so her main pairing is more towards with him compared to the others <3. I know absolutely nothing about the military so this is not accurate I am so sorry💀.

CWs: Dark Humor, Age gaps, Simping, crude humor, cursing. (not sure what else but lmk!)

Chances are, you're the youngest in the entirety of Task Force 141. Just a good couple of years younger than Gaz.

When Laswell brought her in to meet the group, they couldn't help but stare at her in confusion. A tiny girl who couldn't have been older than any of them. Soap couldn't help but chuckle while Ghost nudged him in the side to shut him up.

"This is your new rookie on the team, her callsign is Teddy. Treat her well."

All the men nodded, watching the younger woman shyly smile and wave towards them.

First they realized that her humor was, in Ghost's words, fucked.

Any minor inconvenience had her saying she wanted to be hit by a car or some type of bodily harm, Price quickly whirling around with eyes widened. "Now, I don't think that warranted that kind of response, don't you think?" "Oh it definitely did, Captain." And she'd walk away without another word.

He swears he gets gray hairs from everytime you make casual talk of you dying. He actively tells the others to check on you bc he genuinely don't know if you're serious or not.

Ghost is not up to date with shit, man uses no social medias oncesoever so everything she spouts is wildly out of pocket. References to basic things like tiktok, Twitter, Instagram? He just silently stares at you like you're on drugs. You can't really use your personal phone on base but you try your best to explain memes to him. He sighs and rubs his forehead with a groan of "I'm too old for this shit, teds." "Oh come on! You have to at LEAST know the meme about the marines eating crayons!" "What the fuck are you on about?

The only ones who know vaguely what the fuck you're on about sometimes are Gaz and Soap, despite them still being a few years older.

Granted, they are not caught up with everything but they actively make it a point on leave to try and be up to date bc of you and your mannerisms. Plus it makes you happy when they fire back a quote they learned.

Can yall imagine Soap on tiktok, what random shit he'd have on his fyp bc he doesn't know how the algorithm works 😭.

Teddy has made every single one of them a personal playlist when she does have her phone, Soap once caught her adding songs and hasn't stopped teasing her since. Price and Ghost pretend not to care and barks at Soap to leave her alone but they're equally curious. Ghost contemplates stealing her phone to see it.

Doesn't matter how serious or dark their job may be, you simp for fictional characters, loudly. Price has learned to tune it out, Ghost although slightly jealous, finds it endearing, Gaz and Soap indulge you and will actively ask about why you like the characters you do and how much you love them bc they like to see you excited. It's a nice feeling when they're always in life or death missions.

You're the smallest one in here okay, everyone can easily throw you without batting an eye so they all take turns training you! They all despite knowing you can take care of yourself, would still like to teach you all they know so should you come against a taller/stronger opponent, you'll be okay.

You are the most protected person in the entire squad, esp when going out for drinks, Ghost will put you in the middle between him and Price and basically make a wall of muscle around you. He says he doesn't care and that he just doesn't want to be pestered by creepy people coming up to you but he will literally stare down any man or woman who even tries. He is the creepy one in everyone else's scenario. Soap just laughs and tosses back his drink.

They all notice your ticks and tells, seeing your leg start to shake when you're anxious, when you start cracking your fingers when you're restless, how you will avoid eye contact at any cost. They start to find ways to soothe you in their own ways. Price will give you a pat on your shoulder, sending you a smile.

Gaz nudges you with his body to take your attention off the situation, or he'll simply start asking you random dumbass questions just to see your face change.

Soap will, if he has gotten permission before, just pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, running around with you while you scream for him to let you go. Is also not against tickling you straight up to get you to smile.

Ghost tried to be as subtle as he can be. If yall are sitting close to each other, he'll make sure some part of his body is gently pressed against yours. Whether it be his foot, thigh, hand, some part of him will ground you. You try and reassure him that you know he doesn't care for personal touch but he just says to shut up.

Meeting Graves was a trip, for everyone involved besides you and Grave. Absolutely having no control over calling him a irl Fix it Felix. You were on Graves shitlist and honestly you wouldn't be surprised he betrayed yall for that one comment bc of how angry it made him.

Constantly being told to be quiet, but you cannot help it and will make little quips over comms. Ghost takes after you and starts to say horrible "dad" jokes that make you choke trying to hold back. Soap hates both of you and calls you unfunny.

They realize you're impulsive, especially when you show the amount of tattoos you have.

"I joined the military to fund my tattoo addiction." "You know what? That's not even a surprise."

Going home on leave is always a bitter experience, you never look excited to go home. So one of the guys (usually ghost) will offer you to come with them. It helps 3/4 all live somewhere in England so it's easy to see them/ take trips to their place.

They're all attached despite knowing better. They can't help it and they know they care for you so much more than other force members.

Ghost and Soap bristle when Alejandro makes a mention that he'd offer you a spot in his team, impressed with how you can take opponents twice your size.

"¿Te interesaría quedarte en México?"

"The Hell she will."

-

If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!

#okay this got rambley real quick but hey its my blog i can do what i want #ghost <3 #soap <3 #price <3 #gaz <3 #call of duty #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #gen z!reader #simon ghost riley x reader #soap x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #john price x reader #headcanon #kayla writes <3 #fem reader

[minhosimthings]

In Love with a Stripper

Request: hiiii! I love your work and I came up with this smut with a plot thing so it'll be great if you write it! So basically sunghoon and you are fuck buddies and so hoons friend got him a stripper for his birthday and it was you bc you filled up for your friend on that day and yeah yk yk mean dom!hoon punishing yn OMG.

Pairings: Sunghoon × fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, reader is a stripper, reader wears revealing clothes, dom!Sunghoon, fem!reader, degradation, oral (f receiving), anal sex, breeding kink, orgasm denial, p in v sex, unprotected sex (nope), swearing, mentions of pregnancy, mean dom Sunghoon, fluffy at the end, slight Heeseung × reader

A/N: alright I apologise this took so much time! I really didn't have any brain left in me to do shit so I had to stetch it out a bit. Thank you for the request anon! That's a nice kinky brain you got there! Also tagging @sumaneun-stars and @candewlsy because they deserve this after Mr Park's weverse selcas.

You never wanted to end up like this. In your entire life, you had never wanted to end up like this.

But here you were.

Fucking your 'best friend forever' while you were madly head over heels for him. But it was the Park Sunghoon, so you had no other choice. After all, the boss of a billion dollar company deserved more than a girl who danced in all the city's clubs. You could very egotistically say that you were basically a celebrity.

Sunghoon had often told you to give up dancing in the club and take up a dancing job somewhere, maybe even set up your own studio. But you had declined, dancing in the neon lighting and having whiskey by the lake, and then stripping off for Sunghoon's cock was more than enough for you. And while he never admitted it, he loved you to. But it wasn't allowed, it would never be, maybe he'd change the rules a bit for it to happen, but for now, it was just strolling off to your house every evening undercover and then jump under your covers. Perfect schedule wasn't it?

Until this faithful day.

"Minnie are you serious right now?" You put your glass onto the table, and stared daggers at the girl sitting in front of you.

"Come on babe, pleeease?" She pouted at you, making the cute face you knew you couldn't resist. Minnie was a lioness when it came to dancing but when it came to you? She was a cub.

"How about Miyeon?" You asked, pressing a finger to your temple. You were stressed today, and now with Minnie's news of her sudden departure and her inability to find someone else to cover her shift added to that stress.

"Nah she's booked for the Banhgs today. They're having some party for their cousin."

"Ugh fine but you owe me." You took another sip of your drink as Minnie excitedly clapped her hands and thanked you in a verbose manner.

"Yeah yeah I know I'm your saviour and all." You rolled your eyes and smiled at her, "Who's the shift for?"

"Uh it's for-" Minnie picked out a paper from her pocket which seemed to be an invite, "A Mr Lee Heeseung. He booked it for a quote unquote 'Park Sunghoon is turning old' party."

The only thing the other people in the bar heard probably for the rest of their life was Minnie's loud scream as you spat out your drink onto the table.

"Bitch what the fuck!?" She whisper shouted to you, diverting the attention of the other bar patrons from you.

"Minnie, I'm begging you, I'll bow at your feet, but not Park Sunghoon's party."

Minnie threw you a weird look and slid her paper across the table to you. No one knew what was happening between you and Sunghoon.

"Yeah no you're doing it, you agreed no take backs!"

And that was how you ended up in the back dressing rooms of one of the most glamorous clubs of Seoul, dressed in something you wouldn't have normally worn, but since it was Sunghoon, you decided to give him a bit extra considering the huge pay you were getting. It turned out that Minnie was actually a special book, carefully picked out by Heeseung, whom you knew you to one of Sunghoon's closest friends. But he didn't know about you, so you were thankful that he accepted you as a replacement when Minnie went out. And of course Sunghoon didn't know you were going to be coming either since Heeseung had specified that you were a top secret, extra gift. Playboys, you scoffed, always thinking women were objects they could play with, although a part of your mind said Sunghoon wasn't like that. Who were you kidding? He was the embodiment of that.

From behind your curtain, you could hear Sunghoon's melodious laughter echo throughout the club. Just get it over with, you thought, just get it the fuck over with.

"And now, our dearest Hoonie, we have a gift for you." Heeseung could be heard saying on the other side of the curtain. You could also distinctively hear Sunghoon, Jake and Jay giggling like idiots.

"Ta Da!" The curtain flew open at Heeseung's words and Sunghoon's face fell flat.

You.

It couldn't be, was this a dream?, his thoughts ran wild, as Jake let out a sound of delight.

But you never danced at this specific club, Sunghoon thought. He knew most of the clubs you danced at, and this one was definetly not on the list.

"Dude, you good?" Jay nudged Sunghoon's arm as Jake and Heeseung made their way closer to the bar on top of which you'd give them a show they'll always remember. Heeseung had thought nothing of Sunghoon's reaction, he knew his friend well enough to understand when Sunghoon was shocked out of delight.

"Y-yeah I'm good thanks." Sunghoon answered, not taking his eyes off of the heaven in front of him. God you were looking extra attractive today. Perhaps it was the dress, or maybe the hair, or maybe the fact that you were dancing for him, for the first time.

Sunghoon moved a bit forward and sat directly in front of you, your legs dancing in front of him. If heaven's incarnate existed as a stripper, it would have been you, Sunghoon thought, as he looked up at your eyes, darkened and hooded like a cat's. Your hips seemed to have the universe on a belt, as they moved in synchronisation with the atmosphere. Sunghoon wanted nothing more but to brag that he had seen what was inside of the outfit you were wearing, as he heard Heeseung and Jake making comments on your waist.

"Nuh uh you can look don't touch." You bent down to Heeseung's level, his hand slowly retreating from your legs.

"Can I dance with you then?" Heeseung smirked at you. Although you never admitted it, you had always found Heeseung hot. The bastards smirk combined with his pretty eyes made you have a tiny bit of an urge to fuck him atleast once.

"Is the birthday boy not enjoying my performance?" You directed your eyes at Sunghoon, who widened his eyes to an almost comic level, "Or maybe he wants to join?"

You knew doing whatever you were doing right now would have it's consequences but boy were you enjoying teasing Sunghoon right now.

"Heeseung hyung can go first." Sunghoon leant back on his chair, spreading his legs a bit further. He gave you a cocky grin, one you knew way too well for it not to say 'you're going to be punished.'

You carefully tread down the platform onto the ground, with the support of Heeseung's very soft hands (you kept the thought of asking him what hand cream he used to yourself), your hips jutted against his. Yes this was not according to the job, to be grinding against a customer, but it wouldn't matter if one of the customers was the man you had inside you every night was it?

"God you're hot." Heeseung whispered in your ear, his hips moving in sync with yours, "You single?"

"Somewhat." You replied, throwing your arms onto Heeseung's neck. Jay and Jake had found other people to dance with too, and you couldn't spot Sunghoon anywhere.

"Where's Sunghoon?" You asked Heeseung, peeking over his shoulder, which made him raise a brow at you. God Heeseung smelled good too. Not as well as Sunghoon's pine cologne but this was fine.

"You know him well?" Heeseung asked with a smirk on his face, which made you laugh and shake your head. His crotch was now grinding against your clothed pussy, but you didn't budge.

"We know each other, like a bit. Why you want to steal me from him?"

"Your friend Minnie," Heeseung started, his arms squeezing your waist tighter, "She has another date with her boyfriend tonight. Oh yeah her boyfriend? It's me."

Your gasp was probably heard throughout the entire club. "Shut the fuck up absolute no way!" You laughed, looking at Heeseung's amused face, "The bitch never told me!"

"Well it's a secret." Heeseung shrugged his shoulders, "So can I know your secret now?"

"Hyung can I have a piece of her now?"

Before you could even open your mouth, Sunghoon's voice ran behind you, and as you spun around on your heel, there he was. Looking like the angriest man on earth.

"Sure she's all yours." Heeseung let go of your waist, "I'll see you then, pretty."

You were thankful that Sunghoon didn't hear Heeseung's last words which he carefully whispered into your ear.

"Try to stay alive."

"So you like Heeseung hyung huh doll?" Sunghoon cocked his head to the right, loosening his tie from the grasp it had on his neck.

Fuck he looked hot in dim lighting, you thought. You were surprised when Sunghoon didn't say anything to you at the club nor in the car when he took you home. It was...weird, to have him talk so casually with you, as if you were husband and wife, not even a tint of anger in his voice.

But as soon as you stepped foot in the house, you learnt why he did that. The touch of the cool metal of the handcuffs on your wrist made you wince as you tried to wriggle out of their grasp.

"So what if I do?" You spat, not looking at Sunghoon, "You never thought about telling me what I actually am to you so I thought I might look for..newer horizons."

"Oh yeah?" Sunghoon wore a cunning grin like an arctic fox ready to pounce on its prey, "Well we'll see about that later."

Bending down to your legs, Sunghoon spreads them further apart, his skin pressing against yours like hot iron. It was pathetic how the mere touch of his fingers made you whimper in pleasure.

Your cunt is already so wet, your folds swollen and muscles relaxed, ready and desperate for Sunghoon’s touch. He gently slides a finger into your entrance with little resistance. You clench around him as you search for his lips, which find yours instinctively. 

Sunghoon slides his finger out of you slowly. Your beloved was still mastering your body, but he always seemed to know when you were ready for more. As he slides a second finger into your entrance, he breaks your kisses, watching you as you take more of him. He pushes his long fingers into you until he is knuckles deep, which evolves your little whimpers into breathless moans.

Your wrists ached for the touch of his hair, his soft curls all tangled up between your fingers, but the handcuffs weren't allowing it. Your wriggling under Sunghoon's body made him chuckle.

"No can do baby." His eyes darkened, "Take my fingers like a good slut there we go."

Sunghoon watches as he unravels you with the curl of his fingers deep inside your cunt. Your eyes roll at the intense sensation, and you’re already seeing stars.

As Sunghoon is hitting that sweet spot deep within you, his thumb begins to circle your clit, causing your eyes to go wide as carnal pleasure possesses you. 

Suddenly, Sunghoon pulls out his fingers from you slowly, watching your needy expression with a smirk.

"You really think you can cum on my fingers after all you've done?" Sunghoon asks you, his fingers still lingering over your labia, you realised that your cunt was clenching around nothing even when he pulled out, "Whose slut are you now?"

You were confused as to whether or not you should give him an answer or not so you gave him a quizzed look, which he seemed to definetly not like.

"No answer? Tch tch." He clicked his tongue, "Answer me slut, and I'll think about letting those cuffs off."

He leaned forward and stared into your eyes with darkened eyes. "Whose fucking slut are you?"

"Y-Yours Daddy."

"Louder."

"Your- Ah fuck!" You let out a whimper of pleasure as his bulge rubbed over your pussy. Sunghoon reached over and carefully removed your cuffs. You let out a sigh, feeling satisfaction wash over you at the retreat of the col metal.

"Turn over," he said while pulling away, "all fours baby."

You followed his demands and pressed your face into the pillow, facing the side of the room where a large mirror sat, you watched him in the mirror as he pulled his sweats down letting them rest below his thighs, followed by his boxers. His cock sprung out hitting the fabric of his shirt, causing him to let out a hiss through his teeth. His tip red and needy, leaking with precum.

"try and be quiet." Sunghoon said while rubbing you lower back with his hands. You hummed in response while still watching him in the mirror as he lazily tugged on his cock before lining it up with your entrance, rubbing it up and down your slit, collecting your arousal before placing his tip into you.

Quiet moans and curses left his mouth as your ass bounced off his pelvis, the sound of skin slapping filling the room.

With every grind and suckle on your clit you were getting closer and closer to coming. It was a wet and filthy experience, your arousal dripping down Sunghoon’s chin and soaking his face. You could feel it down your thighs, his chin scratching against your delicate skin with every jaw movement, every grind. 

You could feel your slick dripping down your thighs as he picked his pace up, your eyes having no place to go but the back of my head. You both gave up on being quiet a while ago, more whimpers and groans filled the room.

“mmh, s-so close.” you moaned pathetically while gripping onto the pillow. You felt a sort of shame, feeling this good because of Sunghoon, who, at the moment, you were supposed to hate with all of your heart.

Wth one quick movement he pulled out and flipped you over, his eyes now locked onto yours.

"No cumming until I say so got it?" He growled in your ear, strands of his hair falling onto his face, making him look celestial. Not having the strength to answer him back, you whimpered, feeling his tip at your pussy.

“Say it.” He murmured, squeezing his fingers on the side of your neck to make it all woozy. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

“I want your cock… Daddy… please.”

You’re such a whore, the way you gasp at all the right times as his big cock stretches around your tight walls. He bets you’ve taken cock hundreds of times, but he’s determined to be the best, making sure you know what you’re worth. No one else deserved you, only he deserved you. Now, and forever.

He’s really pounding you now, hands gripping roughly at your hips in an attempt to drive himself further into your cunt, watching as your pussy leaves a milky ring around his base. His hair strands dangle in his face as he bends down to shove himself deeper into you.

‘god, you’re taking me so well,’ he grunts, bucking his hips in pleasure. ‘such a fuckin’ whore though.’

"Nuh uh not yet baby not yet." He says, grinding his hips against you again. Your fingers are pulling at his curls again and you're hopelessly taking what he's giving to you.

"I wasn't—" One of his hands trails down to your wet cunt, rubbing your clit a few times before pinching it softly. Your whiny moans only encourage him, feeling you clench around his fat cock. He pulls out before slamming himself back into your tight hole, pinching your puffy clit even harder.

"you were made for me. you're my whore." he whispered in your ear, licking your jaw as he thrusted mercilessly into your holes.

The sounds of skin slapping, squelching, groaning, whimpering, and moaning were the only things you could hear. The occasional degrading things or sweet nothings Sunghoon would whisper into your ear made your brain go foggy.

"gonna fill you up good n’ proper..." he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut and biting into your neck, "Want to have my kids hmm princess?"

"Ah fuck-fuck- a-ah." You moaned, not being able to answer his question.

Your legs wrapped around him letting him know that you were close. Sunghoon had an urge to pull out, to teach you a lesson. But something in him told him to let you cum in him, to let him make you a mother, his child's mother. Tears streamed down your eyes as the pressure in your stomach built up.

“Daddy—‘cummin” you moaned out. Sunghoon began to fuck you harder and faster. You felt the tip hit the plushy part in you. Your brain turned into mush and drool began to run down your mouth.

“Cum for me princess. I wanna hear you scream my name~” he said in such a sweet sultry voice.

The knot in your stomach snapped.

“SUNGHOON!”

“Cum with me, my darling.” Sunghoon whined with you, bringing his lips down to yours once again roughly. The moment his kiss was brought upon you, you felt like you exploded with pure bliss. Your legs shook against his arms again as you damn near screamed into his mouth. Sunghoon wasn't far behind you, moaning loudly into your own mouth as his cum spilled into you.

It wasn’t until after some time, when Sunghoon's cum was dripping against your walls, and his seed was flowing out of you that he pulled out. You were drooling, eyes rolled back and cum pooling on the bed.

Not saying a word to you, Sunghoon made his way off of the bed, and into the bathroom, where he quietly picked up all the stuff he knew you loved for aftercare.

"Hoonie..." You whined, feeling the empty space next to you, "I want to cuddle."

The sight of your pout melted Sunghoon's heart, and he couldn't resist. Cleaning you up quickly and lighting your favourite scented candle Sunghoon promptly jumped into bed and pulled you into his arms, his body heat successfully warming you up.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" Sunghoon asked you, looking down at you.

You simply nodded your head no and snuggled closer to him, sniffing in his cologne.

"Im sorry Y/N." Sunghoon sighed, positioning your face to his. His eyes were simply sparkling at you, and his expression seemed genuine.

"Im sorry for what I haven't said to you for so long." He breathed out, you could feel his heartbeat become quicker, "I love you, I really do, and-and I want us to be more than just friends."

"Why didn't you say so before you fucking idiot?" You giggled, pulling him in for a brief kiss, "I love you too."

"So, now you're my wife?"

"Girlfriend first Mr Casanova."

#sunghoon smut #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon scenarios #park sunghoon smut #park sunghoon #sunghoon fanfic #park sunghoon x reader #sunghoon × reader #Sunghoon smut imagines #sunghoon smut reactions #sunghoon hard thoughts #sunghoon hard hours #park sunghoon hard hours #enhypen smut imagines #enhypen smut #enhypen smut reactions #enha smut #enha smut imagines #enha smut reactions #enha hard hours #enha hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #requested #bye bye now

[ifishouldvanish]

Some Olrox Analysis & Headcanons

Have you seen this man? Now you have! 🥰

I have a lot of thoughts about Olrox Castlevania Nocturne and I'm dumping them here.

DISCLAIMER: We know so little about Olrox's past and I am but a humble stan looking at an expressionist painting and projecting my own deranged nonsense onto it. I'm fully prepared for 90% of this to get jossed in season 2, but for now I'm just letting the worms in my brain wiggle and send me beautiful visions of what could be 🥹

1. Olrox Was a Commoner and Does Not Respect Hierarchies

I've seen people point to his manner of speech and dress as evidence that he must come from a privileged background, but I think he displays too much contempt for the wealthy/nobility to have been one himself. I think these things are just symbols of power he has learned to use to his advantage.

Of course, there's everyone's favorite quote: "I prefer my blood blue." But he also demonstrates virtually no respect for authority or symbols/institutions of power in general:

He refuses the escort sent by the marquis when he arrives in France and insists on staying at the inn because he likes to "keep his ear to the ground". He would rather be around 'the people' than accept anything from the wealthy.

When Drolta is reminiscing about her glory days as a priestess, there's really not any nostalgia or sentimentality when he interrupts and says "and now those temples are half-buried in dust."

For as good as he is at presenting himself as a Gentleman of Status, he cannot bring himself to even pretend to enjoy himself at Erzsebet's lil debutante ball at the chateau.

When Erzsebet insists she is a goddess, his response is "Of course you are, sweetie 🙂"

His whole speech to Mizrak in the morning-after scene is basically a deconstruction of what power means, and how it is only a perceived vs tangible thing, a temporary position vs an immutable one:

"There are petty demon princelings you can haggle with and cheat. There are demon charlatans whose faces you can laugh in, spit in. There are demons who once were gods... And those who still are."

Foucault? In MY anime adaptation of a vampire video game?? It's more likely than u think 🤔

(continued under the cut bc this got long as hell)

2. Olrox was an Adult when Cortés Arrived

(I don't have a relevant screenshot for this point, so here's Olrox being pretty for no reason)

I've seen it float around some places that if we adhere to historical timelines to a 'T', it would make most sense for him to have been a child, but I'm of the opinion that it's more useful to take what the text itself gives us and fill the gaps with bits and pieces of the actual history where it's convenient. At the end of the day, this is a work of fiction/fantasy. So what does the text tell us?

He lived a long time as human and vampire

As of 1783, he'd been a vampire for approximately 250 years

Now, if we want to take this 250 figure literally, that would put the year of his turning at 1533. But I think we can give ourselves +/-15 years leeway because 250 is just the kind of rounded, even number one would use in natural speech in place of "267" or some shit like that. It's just how believable dialogue is written. So what lies in this +/-15 year window? The invasion by the Spanish, 1519-1521.

Now, he tells Mizrak: "Long ago, when I was still human, I watched men wade ashore from ships..."

I think this is another case of how important dialogue is. Because if he was a boy at the time, this line would likely have been written as "Long ago, when I was just a boy..." or something like "One of my earliest memories is of..." instead. "Still human" implies not only was he a human, but that he had been human for quite some time already. That the events he's describing fall in the stretch of time leading up to "still human" no longer being true.

tl;dr: the Spanish arrival and him becoming a vampire happened within a few years of each other, and if turned vampires stop aging, then he would have had to have been an adult at the time.

3. Olrox Became A Vampire Willingly

I assume that vampirism is something that was introduced to the Mexica by the Spanish in the same way it was introduced to Haiti by the French, in Annette's case.

However, rather than vampires creating spawn left and right, the persistent lore (in the show at least) is that to be turned is to be accepted into the sort of elite in-group of vampire society. (Carmilla questioning why Lisa was never turned, the Count never turning slaves, etc). Vampires feed on humans, they don't view them as potential spawn to have in thrall or whatever.

The Spanish weren't going around giving natives The Bite, because vampirism is power. So what I think, is that Olrox recognized that power, and decided to take it for himself. Rather than being the passive 'recipient' of the 'gift' of vampirism, he pried it from some Spanish vampire's cold, undead hands. (i.e., he drank their blood)

Do I have any proof of this? No. It's just what the worms in my brain are telling me 🤷 But!!

Do I think it would be a sexy little inversion of the way Erzsebet drank a god's blood to obtain her power? Yes.

Do I think it would be thematically very appropriate for a morally grey character who seems to have a very... Interesting relationship with power (individual power vs institutional powers, the subverting of power, the weaponization of symbols of power, etc)?? Oh absolutely fuck yes!!1!

[sickos.jpg]

4. Olrox Was a Priest, But Not Like That.

Priesthood in the Mexica empire was largely dominated by the nobility, whose children would be sent to the calmecec to learn how to read and write, speak the noble dialect, perform rituals, etc. But if the circumstances were right, the children of commoners could also get in!

Olrox says he's never been much of a believer, but he's highly intelligent and incredibly good at reading people. Even if he was never a man of faith, the priesthood was still a powerful institution where one could climb the ranks and earn influence over the nobility. No doubt someone as sharp and charismatic as Olrox would be able to take advantage of the opportunity to get a good education and maybe try to undermine the system from within/play a bit of political games while he was at it.

Also... Olrox's weapon of choice is the dagger. Obviously a dagger is an appropriate weapon for a character who's kind of rogue-ish, but also consider: Aztec warriors used a lot of weapons in combat: clubs, spears, arrows, axes—but an obsidian dagger? That's something that would have been used by a priest during rituals.

5. Olrox is a Bitch™ Who Knows Just What to Say to Get Under People's Skin

A common myth is that the Mexica welcomed Cortés at first because they thought he was Quetzalcoatl. But this is a misreading of the way Mexica social conventions/the noble dialect worked, which was kinda ~passive aggressive in a way, such that the more loftily and overly politely you spoke with someone, the more you were actually telling them to go eat shit and die. I think Olrox's dialogue demonstrates this beautifully in the scene where he meets Erzsebet:

"Taker of Souls, Vampire Lioness, She Who Mauls, The Messiah of--" / "Yes, charmed to meet you 😒"

"Her magnificence has heard much about you." / "Flattered. For a god to have heard of me. 🥱"

"I am a goddess!" / "...Of course 🙂"

His words are receptive, respectful, docile, even... but his tone and delivery are completely the opposite. Compare this with the way he speaks with Richter and (in later interactions) Mizrak—which is more informal, open, confrontational. He's more direct with them because he actually respects them.

As far as reading and getting under people's skin with pinpoint precision, I present the following interactions:

When he catches the marquis' severed head in the catacombs, he reads him (and potentially also Drolta) like a book: "This one? He was just an opportunist, following the messiah because she's powerful. But there are those who love her [looks to Drolta]. So I'm told."

When Drolta gives him a verbal slap on the wrist for feeding on the wealthy, he says "mY Ap0LoGiEs, I didn't realize how invested you are in keeping the mortals happy." - To which Drolta goes on to grumble about how their alliance with some of the mortals disgusts her.

When Erzsebet is waxing poetic about how everyone will see her beauty and worship her, he has the balls to—without missing a beat—say "PaRd0n mEe, but you mean to do this through an alliance with a man who will never worship you? 🫢" right to her fcuuckin face mgod I love him so much (this is the point where she whips out the big guns and yells "I am a goddess!!" while threateningly flashing her orb of darkness btw. Like she did NOT like that)

6. Olrox Has an 'Eye for an Eye' View of Justice

A prevalent theme in Aztec religion is the idea that like... ain't nothin' in this world for free. Sacrifices to the gods weren't symbolic gestures of devotion, but an act of paying the gods back for providing humanity with the means to survive.

The idea that everything has a price pervades the dialogue he has with Mizrak in the morning-after scene:

"What was the cost? Who pays it? Just him? Or all of you? Will you? Which demon will claim his price when all this is done?"

And it's also present in the very first scene where we are introduced to Olrox:

"You see, your mama took someone from me I loved, just as much as you loved her. So, she had to die."

What's interesting about this scene is also how... calm he is the whole time—before the fight, after the fight. Yes, he's motivated by the murder of the man he loved, but he brings zero of that passion to this confrontation. It's just an execution, something inevitable that must be done.

That he's fine with confronting a terrified Richter immediately afterwards to explain what just happened (and is completely unapologetic about it) is also telling. It suggests that Olrox views this kind of thing as just 'the way of the world'—a hard truth that Richter will be better off for having learned sooner rather than later.

I think this also helps explain why, years later, Olrox seems to treat Richter with a little more.... Familiarity than we might consider appropriate. He approaches Richter in the catacombs like he's just an old acquaintance, as though Richter should have no reason to be terrified of him. When Drolta mentions the incident later, he seems kind of lightly amused by it. Then, when he drops off the book, he's visibly/audibly frustrated that Richter starts gearing up for a fight. To Olrox, the whole "killed your mom" thing is water under the bridge, nothing personal.

7. Olrox is a Vampire of Prominence in The New World

Obviously, he has to be kind of a big deal to give a Belmont a run for their money. But let's go deeper into the IMPLICATIONS!!

"In 250 years, do you know how many vampire hunters have promised to slice me in two?"

"Her magnificence has heard much about you."

"You will be her guide into America."

He's enough of a big deal that countless hunters have promised to kill him. Enough of a big deal that Erzsebet has not only heard of him, but sees him as a valuable ally who knows enough about America to guide her as she builds her empire across it.

Olrox wasn't just a powerful vampire who got entangled with the politics of colonial Massachusetts and happened to cross paths with a Belmont. He's presumably had a hand in matters across the continent. Erzsebet refers to the colonists as "American upstarts" but for her, this is a conflict between humans vs vampires. The American colonists aren't allies or even rivals to her—because they're not vampires. They're just more pesky humans to be dealt with. (Also??? 'Protestant Vampires' as a concept is just hilarious to me, I'm so sorry)

So.

What the worms in my brain are telling me is—And this is Big!! This is a Steaming Hot Take!!!

(...seriously, tin foil hat tier headcanon incoming)

Olrox has established a network of indigenous vampires who are resisting the colonial threat. He's been turning them (or at least select individuals who are into it), and thereby redistributing the power he took from the Spanish colonizers to wield against the British colonizers.

(Look I have 0.01% faith in this actually being canon or anything. I just think it would be cool as fuck.)

Anyway.

Thanks for coming 2 my Ted talk or whatever. 😘

#Olrox #castlevania #castlevania nocturne

[fatmasc]

Top surgery while fat!!!!

I got inverted T/anchor T top surgery on feb 13 2023 after many many years of wanting it. Heres some stuff i learned and dealt with over that process:

I live in a state where transgender healthcare must be covered by insurance according to state law. Despite this, i felt unable to try and bill through insurance. This is because the requirements for top surgery approval involve getting approved by a gender therapist who you have seen for at least a year and then getting approved again by the clinic you are applying to. Almost every trans person i know who did this had to reapply multiple times because theyre were rejected for unclear reasons. And if you get approved you are often waitlisted for at least a year bc there are only so many top surgeons in jn the state

Thats not even touching on how most surgeons have a low BMI barrier here, so i was more likely to be rejected by insurance through that alone (apparently the primary place ppl seek top surgery in my state has since changed this but it was too late for me)

I sought informed consent surgery (read: completely paid out of pocket) with a well-regarded surgeon. This guy was one of my least favorite people because his bedside manner was so dismissive and i was told to lose weight multiple times. If his nursing staff wasnt so awesome and i not so desperate i might have put off surgery to seek out another surgeon. This is a problem i have heard from multiple other ppl who seek surgery from him: he sucks but his results are good

On his initial application form, my surgeon lists his BMI barrier as 36. At consultation, he told me the hard cap is 40. I would be operated on if i was above 36 but turned away day of surgery if my BMI was 40. I spent the five months between my consultation and surgery date losing 30 pounds to make sure i could get this surgery

My surgeon is already able to charge a hefty amount because his practice is so well known, but that combined with a) recent inflation and b) his statement thay i would need an extra hour on the table and therefore more anesthesia meant i was charged even more! Compared to a recent quote from another person who saw him, i was charged about $1000+ more for my surgery

The operaton went without hitch and so far recovery has gone wonderfully. I was finished half an hour before expecred and the anesthesiologist only asked me if i have had past issues w anesthesia. As far as i can tell, my weight has had very little to do with that. It is super weird to feel nerves reconnecting but finally the way i look in the mirror matches the way i look in my head.

Im happy to answer questions ab top esp while im still recovering! Im still a little bewildered that its finally happened and i dont think itll fully hit me until i can actually get dressed on my own lol

#top surgery #transgender #.txt #weight loss tw

[melancholysway]

TMNT Bop or Flop

Feel free to join me in this bc I'm bored af and im trying to start all the requests i have :")

this is also a slight smash or pass bc I'm bored also- however I'm not doing it with TMNT 2012- that's just wrong LMAO or rise TMNT- self-explanatory. 2003/Bayverse/2007 is fair game though yall!

TMNT 2003

Leonardo

Ngl... a bit of a flop but a bop lowkey .

I liked him when he was starting to be more carefree and not so into the whole being perfect and leader thing ...

if this was smash or pass... SMASH IDC

Idk yall something about this Leo makes me happy in a weird way, so maybe half bop half flop? a blop?

Raphael

MAJOR BOP ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah yes a man who loves animals I'm here for it

I also really love his accent in this wtf .

He's a bop b/c he fought blind once, GTFOHHHHH!! and he ain't afraid of SHIT!

pass btw if this was smash or pass, he seems like a cool friend to have tho!

Donatello

BOP! His sassiness hasn't peaked in this version but it's very much there . 2003 Donnie is actually so sweet yall. Plus, his voice is very nice to listen to! I would love for him to read me a long book aloud as a bedtime story <3

smashbtw

Michelangelo

the man makes a mean scrambled egg according to Raph, but I make it better. FLOP.

I can't put my finger on it, but I just didn't enjoy this Mikey as much as I did in other versions. He made me wanna punch him sometimes . Also would notttt shutup about being the battle nexus champion like boy if you don't shut yo ass up-

pass pass pass pass btw

TMNT 2007

Leonardo

MAJOR. FUCKING. FLOP.

I don't care what yall mfs say, he was way too mf serious, and even said he was better than Raph??? I don't know exactly what he dealt with during that training in South America, but it changed him man.

He tried too fucking quick to bring the team back together, and that's why him and Raph had a falling out and a big fight. Raph knew it was wrong of Leo to try and waltz in again in their lives and be Fix-It-Felix bro.

sidenote: Mega SMASH. That "come to daddy" quote????? He knew wtf he was doin with that. He's too mf fine to be actin the way he was actin in this movie LMAO- I still really enjoy this Leo though, if they made a sequel like it was intended, I would probably change it to a bop, but I need more scenes of 2007 Leo/ this design of Leo to do this !

Raphael

Do I even have to say it????

BOP. BOP BOP BOP! BOP BOP BOP TO THE MF TOP YALL!

By far my FAVORITE Raph in the entire franchise! I love it, he's at his peak rebellion, and even made a name for himself fighting crime, I love it.

I also LIVE for his Brooklyn accent. I also hc if we got more screentime of him in the sequel, he'd be the most chill turtle. I believe there's a deleted scene of him talking to Leo at the end of the movie, and his tone/mannerisms were very mellow. 2007!Raph is mad chill

Also gave 2007 Leo a run for his money bro-

SIDENOTE: SMASHHHHHH! HULK SMASH IDC CALL ME WILD BUT IDC . Whoever designed him needs a raise. His eyes??? gtofh.

Donatello

Ngl...a slight flop?

he's not as sassy in this version, and I love me some sassy Donnie.

Like Leo, I really wish he got more screentime, I do love him challenging Raph in the beginning of the movie though :) Go Donnie go!

There's a deleted scene of Donnie and Splinter, it's called "let him eat cake" on youtube I believe- he would've been a bop if they kept that scene in! I feel like there was a lack of Donnie scenes in this- but I like that this movie was focused on Raph so I can't complain.

In a deleted scene it reveals Donatello loves money, he's also a flop bc he takes Mikey's money away so he can't buy dumb shit for the lair, at least let the man keep more than a $5 ya know?

ahem...smash.

Michelangelo

BOP! surprised? don't be.

he's a single mom that works one job who loves his brothers and never stops

with gentle hands and a heart of a fighter

he's a survivor <3

i also feel bad that he gets beat up by kids :( he really be providing for his family fr fr. He really out and about making his coin as a turtle in a turtle suit. he also started his own business??? got his own slogan, and is a kids party host??? like okay support small business xoxo

erm...pass btw, I just cannot see Mikey that way yall.

TMNT 2012

Leonardo

BIGGEST BOP OF THE CENTURY! This version of Leonardo is my all time favorite. He even beats Rise Leo by a few! I can't explain it, but this Leonardo- the first one we see that's more upbeat and not so serious, I loved it! They gave him interests other than training or being a leader- they gave him a love for a show he devotes his time to! be fuckin fr.

Also played tea time with some random ass lil girl, it was so cute. I loved to see Leo be put in situations where he's just being him.

So yes this is very biased but idc, he's my fave. One thing about 2012 Leo he gon get to the bag no matter what.

He also literally SLAYED Shredder and brought his head! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

Raphael

Do I need to say anything?

Bop, wanna know why?

HIS ONE-LINERS. He's so in tune with his sarcasm and wits that it's so satisfying to hear some sarcastic shit come out his mouth.

May even be a bit sassy, he has no time for bullshit. will beat some ass- and is the best pet dad.

no bc when he was being a foster dad to Chompy??? my heart. my fucking heart yall.

Also the fact that he named him Chompy Picasso? PLS.

Donatello

Bop guys!

Lowkey gets bullied by Raph but makes up for it by making him look dumb at times.

SASSIER. VERY SASSY. WIll point out his brothers (Raph/Mikey's) stupidity.

Plus his gap is so cute

Also, he's a bop because he made fucking RETRO MUTAGEN. If I'm not mistaken, 2012 Donnie is the first one of his installments to make a retro mutagen.

Okay maybe Mikey mixed a chemical or two and was the original creator of the retro mutagen, but Donnie was able to make copies of it after finding out how Mikey made it.

Michelangelo

BOP BOP BOP

He might be my favorite Mikey! I really like 2007 Mikey bc his comedic timing was on point, but this Mikey! Oh my god his timing is fucking terrible and I love it.

he's also the reason why his brothers aren't in the stomachs of those big-ass wasps, he's underrated! When he applies himself, he's unstoppable fr.

Also, he's an animal lover like Raph! He also really cares for Ice Cream Kitty (IC Kitty is also one of my fave characters for some reason they're sooo cute!)

BAYVERSE TMNT

Leonardo

Hear me out.

Blop.

I know, why isn't he just a bop or why isn't he just a flop? I honestly couldn't decide. I found that he wasn't the most memorable in this version, but he did certain things that I remembered. He also has cute blue eyes so that's why he's a blop.

I didn't like the way he talked to Raph in the second movie bro, he was such a bitch, then acted mad shocked that Raph went out and tried to get the ooze himself. he also benched tf out of Raph and Mikey just because Raph called him out on his shit.

Okay I'm changing it- he's a blop but VERY close to being a flop because of that.

all this being said...pass.

Raphael

He's mad chill. A fuckin Bop. Honestly, all Raph's are bops, but this one especially. He knits yall. KNITS. Raph KNITS. I never thought I'd see the day.

Also a Vin Diesel stan, I love that for him.

They also gave him a fear of heights...or erm...skydiving, which I thought was kinda cute! Big bad Raph is scared of a plane dive!

P.S- smashy smash. he's truly a sweetheart yall.

Donatello

I actually really like his design! Love the glasses on him fr fr!

This Donnie is a blop though...sorry guys.

He was very nerdy in this one, but I'm so used to Donnie being a sass king that it didn't feel normal.

I wish they gave him more substance than just the genius of the team, if this makes any sense. Same with 2007!Donnie.

Blop positive: he's the only turtle to curse in the movie! he also snorts. it's cute.

Sadly...pass.

but, if they made him sassy as FUCK- ALL MIGHT DEKU SMASH.

Michelangelo

BOPPITY BOP

he's mad cool i dont see anything wrong with him. He's just a bro.

i dont have much to say about bayverse Mikey for some reason, so I'll leave it at this.

He also calls April "Angelcakes" which I think is cute yall-

Pass btw

RISE!TMNT

Leonardo

Final boss level BOP BRO. I love love love this Leo! He's amazing. I have no complaints fr.

Total asshole in the lair olympics but I loved every second of it LMFAO

also his granny disguise to spy on April??? 10/10 great style. It's nice to see Leo not be the leader for once, I truly see what he could be when he doesn't carry the burden of the leader.

Raphael

Okay, I'm used to hothead/soft Raph, but this Raph?! MF BOP! HE'S FINALLY GETTING THE UNOFFICIAL LEADERSHIP ROLE HE DESERVES.

He's a big mf softie, and I love it! I love his design, everything! No complaints about this Raph, he finally is able to show his leadership skills!

spoiler all rise! turtles are bops bc its so nice to see them written differently than their usual stereotypes.

Donatello

I absolutely adore this version of Donnie! His lines are absolutely top tier bro.

HIS RAP IN MYSTIC LIBRARY??? GTFOH. I also really loved his rivalry with Leo in the olympics btw .

He has so many golden moments that this is exactly why hes a BOP! BOP OF THE MF UNIVERSE.

He's also unintentionally funny, his computer password??? yeah bro he's funny.

Michelangelo

BOP. I finally feel like Mikey isn't the butt of the joke anymore. All boys are funny in this series in their own way, and they're all shown being a little dumb so I love that LMAO

I love that Mikey is still childish, but it seems to do toned down as his brothers are equally childish in some way

We don't rely on Mikey for comedic relief, we can rely on him to be sporadic and chaotic though! i love this version of Mikey, this one is my favorite. Point blank my fave!

Masterlist

#tmnt #bayverse tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt headcanons #raphael #leonardo #donatello #michelangelo #rise!tmnt #tmnt imagine #tmnt fandom #tmnt hc #tmnt 2012

[lesbianator3000]

okay, here’s something that has always bugged me:

It’s unrealistic for Grayson to have gotten over Emily enough in the first two books to date Avery. People here have… dealt with death, right? At the start of TIG, it’s been just over 1 year since Emily died, the boys became social pariahs, and family relationships became heavily strained. On top of that, it’s been merely ~1 month since their beloved grandfather passed.

Those wounds are still fresh. Deaths of the people you love already cling to you as they are, but now imagine you blame yourself for some said death?

There’s a quote in the first book where Nash tells Avery that you need to excise a wound before it can heal. In Grayson’s case: how can you excise a wound that you refuse to allow yourself to admit even exists? Grayson’s whole character shtick that people love is that he’s never saying what he feels out loud (see tags). Truth be told, outside of fiction, that shit is NOT conducive to a healthy life/relationships.

I’ll try to keep this short, so I won’t elaborate too much on why I think Jameson fared better. It comes down to the fact that he grieved the context and blamed Emily and the situation more than himself, and he also released his emotions verbally/physically (even if in unhealthy manners), showing that he recognized how this event affected him.

Also, please note that, while people thought this was cute and made them soulmates, Avery being able to read Grayson’s emotions based upon his body language isn’t communication. It isn’t Grayson dealing with his emotions either; it’s merely Avery interpreting them. Only one of them is acknowledging their existence— and it isn’t the right person. On the other hand, Jameson and Avery made a code word to increase communication to overcome that vulnerability obstacle— *that’s* what builds healthy love.

Tldr; Death takes a long time to get over. You need to explore your emotions. Communicate = cope better. Don’t communicate = uh oh.

edit: you can tell I wrote this after not sleeping for days bc I put exercise instead of excise whoopsies it’s fixed now

#dont get me wrong I LOVE a story with an emotionally constipated love interest #but let’s not sit here and pretend that that makes for a stable or realistic relationship irl #the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #jennifer lynn barnes

[rinbowaman]

some quotes on how heelel and heethan make me feel

One these are too funny bc they’re true.

Yoooo I am convinced that virgin bodies have the most filthiest minds….it’s bc virgins don’t know what theyre missing out on and their imaginations are driven wild lol. I think that’s it. Like they want to so badly but for whatever reason they refrained from doing it so in turn they’re yearning for it in an intense manner. It’s so ironic and funny how that shit works. I probably am not helping with the amount of delulu content I’m putting on this blog of heethan, heelel, and now heebros. And there’s another Heeseung entity I created along with Jake and Sunghoon……for different series. That one….that one will be interesting.

[scripted-downfall]

Ok but jpad has no emotional dept to his acting. Im currently studying acting. Like this is my college major. And when I say he has no depth, I mean he plays everything too hard. "The best emotion is suppressed emotion" is in acting 101 and he just does not get that. Jensen plays it bothe ways. Yes he can have clear emotions but a lot of time it's in his eyes or a nuance.

Then you've got Jpad who does the same thing every emotional scene. The same voice pattern for every line. The same eyes. The same... Everything.

And you'd think it'd get better with time.

Oh he's only 21, Jensen is 26, he'll grow as an actor.

Nope.

In fact.

I think he's better in the early seasons.

Come season 15 he still looks and acts like an immature college freshman just now with a beard.

Anyway...

Saw your post and had to share my own thoughts bc everyone I know thinks he's so good and I'm just HOW

Oh, hello!!! And thank you so much for the message; it's really interesting to hear from someone who has experience with acting as a vocation, instead of just from an observer's perspective. (I've done some acting --- in drama clubs and such --- but certainly nothing professional in any sense of the word; I have a sense of what is good/what works and what doesn't from an amateur's perspective, but the technical point of view you provide is awesome!)

I agree a hundredfold with your point about nuance: Padalecki's performance never really seems to have much. I mean, there's the occasional well-done gesture from time to time --- and I'll admit that the representation of Gadreel was sometimes decently good (largely, imo, because Gadreel was acted in a very earnest-bordering-on-deadpan manner... and, even then, I thought Tahmoh Penikett did far better) --- but Padalecki doesn't tend to do much other than cycle through the same basic Signs of Emotion. Indeed, he rarely manages to string them together believably, so it's more of a slideshow of "emotions" than it is an actual, seamless progression through them.

Your emphasis on sameness is precisely something I've tried (and, frankly, probably failed) to tell my friends of similar mentalities; I feel like you've put it into words admirably: he acts the same way whenever a specific emotion is needed. It's formulaic and flat. Anger = twitch jaw + flare nostril + (sometimes) a crinkle between eyebrows. Sadness = drawn-in eyebrows + squint really hard + sniff. "Compassion" = puppy-dog eyes + (what can only be termed his) Compassionate Face. It's like a math problem or something, not a real, human reaction.

I also definitely agree with your point about the earlier seasons: I do think that his earlier stuff was better. I don't know if he lost interest, gave up, or got cocky --- though I tend towards the last one, given his comments that (and this probably isn't a direct quote) "anyone could have played Dean" --- but his prowess, such as it had been, decreased sharply as the seasons went on.

I haven't exactly been subtle about the fact that I am very much a fan of Dean over Sam, so it probably should come as no surprise that I find his acting stellar. But Jensen is just a better actor in general. The nuance, like you said, is very rarely absent from his performances. Same with Misha; he's believable and realistic in a way that Padalecki never really is (imo). And yes, I recognize that some of this is personal preference, but I think there's just an objective difference between the acting of Padalecki and that of the other two.

Anyway, sorry for the long post... I'm sure you probably didn't intend to spark off a whole thing about this, and I doubt I added much, but I wanted to give your note the emphasis it deserved; your take is fascinating --- especially given, as I said, your experiences in the field --- and I also want to say thanks for sending it! I'm honored you reached out (and it'd be awesome to hear from you again, though no pressure) and I hope you're well!

#answered asks #scripted downfall asks answered #anti jared padalecki #thank you for the ask!!! #please keep 'em comin' #lets see how many anti-antis we can summon #there's already been one #acting anon #if y'all can't read sarcasm btw (valid; social cues aren't easy): that's a dni notice

[skitskatdacat63]

I'm 99% sure you have look at most painting of Napoleon, so I need to ask you this question.

Is it just me is does it seem like a third of all painting of Napolean have one of his hands in his waist coat? I swear there is so many pictures with that pose that I can't stop noticing it. I can't think of a reason why that would be other than artist avoiding drawing hands.

Helloooo! Very interesting question! To quote wikipedia:

The hand-in-waistcoat (also referred to as hand-inside-vest, hand-in-jacket, hand-held-in, or hidden hand) is a gesture commonly found in portraiture during the 18th and 19th centuries. The pose appeared by the 1750s to indicate leadership in a calm and firm manner. The pose is most often associated with Napoleon Bonaparte due to its use in several portraits made by his artist, Jacques-Louis David, amongst them the 1812 painting Napoleon in His Study.

I think Napoleon paintings are very funny bcs he really hated sitting for portraits, so a lot, if not basically most, of his portraits are kinda just the artist's best possible representation. And particularly paintings like "Napoleon Crossing the Alps" is more of like the ideal/image of Napoleon, rather than being super accurate. And I think this hand in the waistcoat pose just became an easy way to characterize him in paintings, if that makes sense? Like of course other historical figures have done that same pose, but when you see it, doesn't it evoke Napoleon in your head?

But I definitely agree with you on the "avoiding drawing hands" part 😭 I actually kinda like drawing hands but 1. They're difficult to draw correctly, and 2. They're difficult to pose. I struggle irl on where to put my hands if I'm standing still, so think about that in the context of painting. It's very hard to avoid it feeling stiff or awkward, right? So oftentimes it's nice to put one of the hands in the pocket and the other resting or pointing or something, otherwise it's very difficult, at least imo.

I talked about it at some point, but I was kinda confused at why so many paintings of Philip V have him pointing, either in the distance or upwards. And sure, you can try to interpret some deeper meaning. But I think a lot of it comes down to "ah man, idk what to do with his hand, I guess I'll make him point."

Tl;dr: Half of it is to symbolically represent his calm yet firm sense of leadership as well as to easily characterize him, so as soon as you see that pose it immediately evokes "Napoleon Bonaparte." The other half is that it's an easy solution to both not having to draw another hand but also avoid the pose looking stiff :D

I like it a lot bcs as I said, it's a really easy way to instantly signify that you're referencing Napoleon, examples in my art:

#aaaahh thank you for the question 🥺 this is a topic i find rly interesting honestly #cause i feel like for a lot of paintings youll never rly know what the reasoning was #cause thw figure isnt as important as someone like napoleon or the artist didnt make notes or anything #so its interesting to speculate on! #but also i do think a lot of it comes down to just not wanting to draw more hands than necessary or avoiding it being stiff #its smth i consider a lot with my own paintings honestly #thats why i take ref pics of myself to draw them #like where do my hands naturally fall what pose is comfortable etc etc #also screaming at 'im sure youve looked at 99% of napoleon paintings' #how did you know???? 🫢 #nah bcs i almost cried seeing napoleon crossing the alps in person 😭😭 #catie.asks.

[padfootastic]

About the last ask, I agree with so much of what you said. And I don't know if I'll be coherent or of anyone agrees with me but I think Sirius knew right from wrong always. In my head, he was a curious kid and he knew his family were wrong at some level. What I hc the most is he has a very strong moral compass for the right and wrong in the broader aspect but he has a very grey moral code of how to get to the point of right and wrong.

For example (and this is going into the prank territory which I hate to talk about but still is one of the best examples), he knew Snape practiced dark magic and kept following them around trying to learn all their secrets so he knew Snape was a pos but the way he went about dealing with Snape is very morally grey. So he has those proclivities (?) and that's where James comes in for me. James knows the greyness of Sirius and that's how he becomes his moral compass. Sirius doesn't need James to tell him from right to wrong but he needs him to be his moral compass for getting there. I don't know if this is making sense at all. And that's why I have this hc that if James was not there, Sirius would have definitely become this super powerful scary motherfucker who can do anything to get his way.

Also, since I'm already rambling so much, I don't know if this is movie or book, but I love the quote of 'we all have dark and light inside us'. That's who Sirius is.

no but that’s exactly it! u put it much better than i was able to. i don’t think sirius was ever confused about the end result, only sometimes the means of it all, and even that i’d put down to conditioning & nurture. there are social situations he doesn’t know how to behave in, especially once he realises a lot of what he was taught at home is bullshit, and so he turns to his safe space (james) and closest confidante (james) for guidance on how to act. it’s not even a matter of morals at that point tbh. and this isn’t like—one sided. i’m so sure there were times when james had to turn to sirius for things. because his own upbringing was in a certain manner and he’s a privileged bastard who’s never seen the harder side of life. the swm scene where sirius tells him to stop and he does is always such a great example for me.

and, yeah, im pretty sure that’s a movie quote and the book goes like ‘the world isn’t split b/w good people and death eaters’ but i agree with you! it’s such a great quote and really gives us an insight into sirius’ character, which is why it used to annoy the fuck outta me that so many fics, esp the dark!harry, slytherin!harry, good!voldemort ones, turned him (and james) into this one dimension slytherin-hating caricature (often even at the expense of their acceptance of harry) bc sirius is one of the few ones we’ve seen not show any of that prejudice.

#sirius black #james potter #it’s a bit like how corporal punishment is seen in different cultures #i’ve seen people (mostly westerners) say even a slap is akin to child abuse #and then i have my friend—who makes a joke out of her aunt bashing her head in #bc that’s how lightly some people take it here #and that comes from the culture of acceptance of violence we come from #so i think it’s somewhat similar for sirius #u don’t realise how messed up some things are until u get exposure #and that’s not necessarily an intrinsic process ykno? which is why i think james plays a role in his moral development #anyway. v v v glad there’s someone else out there who gets it and thinks the same way lol #pen’s asks

[notallwonder]

Watching the new episodes of Criminal Minds: Evolution again.

Under a Read More for those avoiding spoilers.

+ Point of clarification: did they retcon that JJ & Will never moved to New Orleans, or are we to believe they moved away then back at some point? -> answered in Ep 2 Will says "since we got back".

+ Garcia's "I used to be good at that" re: putting on English mannerisms made me smile bc callback to when Emily was at Interpol

+ Luke is a sweet sweet guy. I like him a lot, though to be honest I don't pay that much attention to him (because my attention is elsewhere *cough* Prentiss).

+ something really rubs me the wrong way about those "hers" antidepressant ads. They seem kind of creepy / dystopian?

+ I hope we get to know some of Penelope's new friends a bit.

+ it still really cracks me up that Garcia uses such tricked out GUIs on her computer. That shit takes up RAM and makes everything hard to see. Because computer nerd on (network) TV. But also, good for her.

+ the whole SOAR concept is too funny. No one born before the millennium has access besides PG? Does she code and maintain the whole thing all by herself (obvs not)? Are the engineers also only 22 and younger? (this would become a legal issue of ageism in hiring!) Also "unhackable"...so there's some kind of elaborate and potentially invasive verification system to prevent catfish accounts? Really. And once you age out of SOAR are you just thrown to the 30-50 feral hogs with the rest of us?

+ EMILY PRENTISS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS SHOWSTOPPING I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

+ second time around I continue to appreciate AJ Cook's well muscled shoulders.

+ I'm very happy they got Zach Gilford for this role. Who knows if the writing will ultimately be good (lmao), but he has the range.

+ Director Noodle at it again, throwing a tantrum because Emily Prentiss did not bow to his will. Section Chief Foxiest Silver Fox does not simply roll over and obey (in her professional life at least).

+ lmao the not-an-Oscar-Wilde-quote quote attribution is so unnecessarily dumb

+ Emily & Tara are a great duo. Friends, crime-fighters, (etc!), they just stand up well to one another. The vibes are fabulous. It's the dynamic closest to what Emily had with Derek, that comfortable teasing and trust.

+ also noting that Tara asks Emily if she knows Rebecca Wilson, and apparently she does - enough to know she's at the DOJ. Perhaps they've worked on case(s) together before. Orrrrr maybe they met at some LGBTQ Feds networking event. 😏 Emily does give her a very warm smile when Rebecca shows her face at the BAU.

+ The way Zach Gilford asked unsub #2 "are you disobeying me?"............I don't know, it made my ears perk.

+ in the Garcia / Rossi scene, there is much to enjoy. The insight into Garcia's mindset. Rossi's resigned "I did. I kept falling asleep." I can't help but laugh at PG fully saying "Licensed Clinical Social Worker." I appreciate the specificity, but it's a whole mouthful!

+ fucked up that Garcia's login credentials still work. Any self respecting agency would make you change your password every 3-6 months at least, not to mention she's No Longer Employed There. But who needs real administrative mess when you can have loony toons (plot-based) administrative mess?!

+ Tara wearing a lot of plaid and window pane patterns. Aside from the obvious, it's just a nice costuming choice that remains kind of conservative but sets her apart from the others.

+ Most of the wardrobe is in blues and browns and grays. I wonder if this will change as time goes on (i.e. will Garcia bring the color back) or if that's going to remain through the whole season.

+ Okay, but did y'all also catch the weird look that Rebecca & Luke exchanged in this briefing room scene? It seemed like more than "close the door". Is there some kind of history there?

+ Oh this show is so silly!!!!! So silly, and it still makes me happy. Incredible.

#cm spoilers #criminal minds spoilers #cme spoilers #criminal minds evolution spoilers #cm16 spoilers #spoilers #so many spoiler tags #cm16 #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution

[trashbaget]

temptation tuesday ✨

indirectly tagged by somebody out there for sure :D

i’ve been trying to get back into fanboy, and hopefully start up a more consistent writing/posting groove (definitely planning to finish up ch3 AND write ch4 before i post ch3 tho!!) but here are some other projects that have been Looking At Me

(some) 911 wips (of many) that have me by the throat:

driving west at sunset — a sweet little one shot where eddie and buck are on a drive back to california after helping abuela move back to the texas. partly inspired by the now ancient buddie bingo 2022 bingo prompt “overheard love confession” the two hear all manner of declarations on the road, prompting them to reminisce about the times they too have told someone they were in love

the elasticity of denim — another one shot partly inspired from a bb22 prompt, this one is enclosed space BUT with a twist because they are stuck on top of a rollercoaster in the middle of an accidental date wherein somebody admits to to their attraction just before the coaster is supposed to go down—but doesn’t. also the theme park’s probably cowboy themed

the universe does not scream — an idea a long time coming, the universe herself plays matchmaker and keeps a diary of all the times those two foolfighters firefighters keep ignoring her calls. (this one requires an extensive rewatch in which i take active notes of every relatable quote and moment, which the recent group rewatch has been actively reminding me of)

non-911 wips that have been staring me in the face:

south side (stupid) musical — this playlist is nearing 6 hours long already and i have yet to write more than one episodic intro and one dickensian opening line BUT i cannot stop thinking about it because it is ridiculous and campy and i love it. set between s10&s11 (i think), the gallaghers and company stumble upon a cursed karaoke machine which forces them to burst into song at random moments…….also some weirdos are putting on bootleg high school musical show at a local theatre that they get swept up in.

charlie dalton’s rules for a successful hookup — i recently uncovered the notebook i spent an entire week in december 2020 furiously plotting this and fell in love with it all over again so i would LOVE to get to this at some point. a university au—bc there is no more perfect au for dead poets society imho—wherein charlie writes a list of rules for himself so he can hookup in college without getting his heart broken (again)

i am so far out of every loop that idk who i interact with that makes things anymore lmao so let me know and i’ll tag you in any future ones i do lol also @enbyeddiediaz hi lizard emojis

#maybe if ppl are excited about any of these it’ll inspire me to write thme #since writing For Myself does not light enough fires under my ass lmao #ive been writing a little bit of fanboy recently though!!!!!! #my writing #my fics #i am so so so so excited to write all of these tho #i’ve been reading brainstorms and going BITCH #YOURE SO BRILLIANT #THATS SO GENIUS #THATS SO FUNNY #and then i dont write (yet) #(YET!!!!) #(BUT I SHALL!!!!!) #(I HAVE EVERY INTENT TO!!!!!) #shut up im holding the trashtalking breadstick #bruh why’s tagging gotta be so scary to me #i don’t talk to people enough #tag games!

[queenofocthoughts]

Whumpuary Day 10: Hidden Injury / Blood / Recovery

Language: English Genre: an attempt at whump I guess (the last one is pretty much fluffy tho, I am obviously not good at sticking to my initial plans lmao) Character: my OC Cae (+ mentions of other OCs of mine and two of my friend Soph's OCs)

CN:

[1st drabble] blood, wounds, cuts, bite marks, abuse, manipulation, toxic family, mention of food, character struggling to eat

[2nd drabble] self-harm, cutting, blood, unhealthy relationship/dating habits, mention of food, character barely eating

[3rd drabble] flashback, kissing/hand holding/general intimate moment, mention of food, mention of blood

Author's Note: Gonna be honest, these are some purely self-indulgent snippets of my bby Cae having dinner with different people at very different points throughout his life (from abused youth, to young adult with unhealthy coping mechanisms, to somehow vaguely functioning person with a found family, I guess) and I'm not sure any of it means much to anyone except for me and @marmeltier lol. Also don't mind my weird habit of writing things in 2nd person singular even though they're not meant to address the reader, I know it's unusual, but I like it, so I will probably keep doing it. 🤙 Thought I'd share this anyway bc @whumpuary was the main inspiration. The other inspiration mentioned below is apparently a quote by Brynne Rebele-Henry, from »Autobiography of a Venus Figure« (according to a quick google search). These are 200, 300 and 400 words exactly btw. Enjoy <3

***

Blood didn’t faze me. I could slash myself open and still make it to dinner.

***

You’re sitting at a dinner table with the royal family — your family, technically. Your relatives. Most of them still don’t feel like family at all, even though you have been living with them for years at this point.

You’re trying your best to keep your act together and just eat, table manners and proper etiquette and all, but the food feels incredibly dry in your throat, you barely manage to choke any of it down, and all you can think about are the fresh wounds you’re hiding underneath your clothes: Swollen bite marks in various shades of blue and purple; deep red scab that sticks to fabric, feels like it tears and crumbles with every movement; messily sewn-up gashes that still burn every time you lean back in your chair.

Avien is smiling at you from across the table, and while it might seem innocuous to everyone else, to you, every silent smile of hers is a reminder so clear you can almost hear it in her voice, sending shivers down your spine: Smile for me, brother dearest. Smile through the pain.

You know what happens if you don’t.

So you do. You always do.

***

You’re sitting at a dinner table in your new favorite tavern with pretty girl number three in this city — a lovely girl, really, easy to get attached to, perfect to keep your heart so busy falling in love that you forget you should be falling apart.

You’re playing with your food more than eating it, completely focused on your date instead: Watching her closely, leaning towards her, listening attentively, with such interest it almost feels fake even though it isn’t. Every word from her lips is another chance to wipe your own thoughts away, every sentence a gracious break from the chaos in your head; every single thing she could ever say is better than what you silently say to yourself when it’s quiet. So, you listen. Pour all of your attention and dedication into another person, like you’re so used to doing.

She doesn’t know about the cuts that run all the way down your thigh. Completely unaware of the wounded flesh still trying to heal, she puts her hand on your leg as she throws her head back and laughs at a joke you made. You suppress a wince and smile instead, welcoming the burning sensation of her touch through the fabric of your trousers; it reminds you of the wave of peace that washed over you when you put the blade to your skin earlier that day, the moment of release you had craved so much you were willing to spill your blood for it. That memory alone is enough to make you feel a little bit less tense, a little bit more lighthearted.

Blood doesn’t faze you, and neither does pain. Not if it’s yours.

You just slashed yourself open and still made it to dinner, after all.

***

You’re sitting at a dinner table with the people you love — your dinner table, to be precise. You happily took on the task of cooking for the whole bunch, and now that everyone is full and satisfied — even those who don’t need regular food to survive, yourself included —, you get to lean back in your chair and watch your loved ones enjoy themselves. Everyone is there, except for the kids; they have been sleeping for a while already, so it’s up to the adults to fill the room with warm laughter and lively chatter now, and so far, your found family is doing an amazing job of that.

You watch Nayati and Alyssé clear the table, both so preoccupied with whatever they’re jokingly arguing about they seem to barely even notice they’re doing a chore nobody expected them to do. Cynthia, who has also been watching, throws you an amused smile across the room. You’re just about to smile back when suddenly, a flood of fractured memories takes over: Scenes, smells, sounds, sensations long gone, brought up again out of nowhere. None of the sequences last long enough for you to truly grasp; they pass you by so fast you’re left with nothing but the faint taste of blood and the feeling of a decades-old scream stuck in your throat.

You only realize you were starting to tense and stare off into nothing when Lynire’s voice right next to you brings you back to the present. »Are you okay?«, she asks as she gently squeezes your leg beneath the table.

»Yeah.« You nod and put your hand over hers while you take a moment to look around, remind yourself where you are: Home. You’re home, you’re safe, you’re surrounded by your loved ones. You’re okay. »Just realizing how lucky I am, that’s all.« You turn towards Lynire and press a kiss to her cheek. »Thanks for checking in, mi vida.«

Your eyes meet for a long moment, and when she seems satisfied with whatever she was looking for, convinced you told the truth, her lips curve into a soft smile.

Wordlessly, she interlaces her fingers with yours, hand still resting on your leg, and you can’t help but smile, too.

Honest words and honest smiles — that surely is a lot of luck for someone like you.

#whump & gore #whumpuary #whumpuary2023 #whump #my writing #blood #wounds #cuts #bite marks #abuse #manipulation #toxic family #food #food issues #eating issues #self h@rm #cutting #unhealthy dating habits #unhealthy relationship #flashback #kissing #hand holding #intimacy #romance #found family #whumpuary day 10 #caedes #2023

[ghirahims-trophyhusband]

1, 4 and 10 with grigori and/or behemoth? :3c

COMFORT CHARACTER ASK MEME

1. How long have you known about them? - I’ve known about Grigori since 2020 thanks to one of my Monster Hunter youtubers: Gaijin-Hunter, posting a video and a tweet about the game :>

Behemoths are a bit more vague as I’ve known about them for MUCH longer so I can’t pinpoint which FF game introduced me to them properly, but as FFXIII was my first FF game, I can at least share photos of how the behemoths appear in that game!

I didn’t get far enough into the game to see the more natural and non-robotic behemoths at the time, but they’re still so pretty and cool I love them!!!

Also! In FFXIII it is one of the few games where the behemoths stand up their back legs when their health is low enough and use their ‘horns’ as weapons!

4. What about their personality I like - GRIGORI IS SO COOL AND I LOVE HEARING HIM TALK he has so many fantastic quotes and his manner of speaking fits so well into the world of Dragon’s Dogma bc of how he talks and how he acts as a character. I love every aspect of him and that whilst the archaic manner people speak in may seem a little forced sometimes, like I’m watching a LARP session lmao, Grigori never feels that way because his character is just so engaging. Every time he’s onscreen I am mesmerized by him. I love putting on his cutscenes in the background because of how much I love how he talks and even if he does speak in a calm tone and never raises his voice, there is still character to his words.

Eg. When he speaks to The Arisen during the Deny Salvation cutscene and he says the line ‘Only my death will stanch the flood of destruction’, he clearly pauses to laugh after the word ‘death’, fully knowing the Arisen does not have the strength, be it physical or emotional, to face him yet, so he will gladly goad the Arisen into fighting him if he must and hey! It works! If I was told by a big dragon I’m a weak bitch I too would want to prove him wrong.

Ad for behemoths: they don’t really have personalities lmao. They’re just animals. Big mean angry animals. But they are also big dogs who are my friends and brothers in arms 💖💖💖 They have big teeth, big muscles, big claws, and a big heart :>

10. My favourite moment with them in canon - Literally every scene with Grigori in it honestly ghfkdg. Even his boss fight is a fantastic moment with how it goes from you running from Grigori, only being able to attack him when he’s trapped in a tunnel and when you are on his back at a point in the fight, to you fighting him on equal ground within a large arena. Plus, as mentioned prior about the ‘death’ comment, Grigori’s few moments of snark are very fun to see. I still love the obvious smile and laugh in his voice (which is in a very ‘are you kidding me lmao’ sort of tone) when you try to leave the starting room without choosing a vocation (eg. Warrior, archer, rogue, mage) and he says ‘Take up arms, Arisen! For my kind do not heed the toothless.’

Just like Grigori, any moment with a behemoth, be it a cutscene or boss fight, is my favourite moment with them! I really couldn’t pinpoint a favourite moment because I love them all, but to at least provide an answer of some kind, the moment when you get Behemonster in World of Final Fantasy. An absolute unit and total chad.

Also please god, look at this little baby man. This is an ACTUAL behemoth pup btw, as they appear in FFXIV and the crossover mission with Monster Hunter World (you can get a costume for your poogie :>)! You can also get this little man as a plush I NEED HIM I will feed him steaks and whipped cream 💖

#ask #grigori #behemoth #cc #dd #ff #pardon me whilst i gush about my besties 💖

[soleilocverse]

Chapter 18 Commentary

“Ness would like these,” he says once he’s swallowed his bite, eyes clearing up and his smile gaining some real substance. -- I think that this is very true. And Soleil is happy at the prospect of Ness getting to try them and enjoying them. I think there's also a bunch of Other stuff going on in this line.

Like, Soleil casually holding up the scenario/item/or whatever at hand like a paint swatch to see how it will fit in with Ness is his default state. Putting Ness before himself is ingrained 100%.

And so is pivoting either consciously or unconsciously to thinking about Ness's happiness/health/etc in times of stress. It's much easier, and he has much more practice, and in his opinion it's much more productive to shelve any issue he's having in order to focus on Ness.

And bringing up Ness in this manner takes the attention off of him and puts it onto Ness like a conversation ender; I think this is a subconscious thing though in the way of shelving his issues internally and less trying to avoid some more complicated convo with Ray

And a big thing: Soleil v clearly likes them ^^ Soleil Also mostly avoids saying when he likes things. But ness liking something? Well that's much more acceptable. (And if he gets to enjoy something along the way, like waffle strips or >> going outside, then that would be nice too)

As far as I can tell, unless I've forgotten >>, but doing a quick ctrl+f there is only One instance where he directly tells one of the others something that he currently likes. the other times it's about something that he's liked before, or it's to another chara or w/ them as a buffer

[from ch.12] there's this where Soleil's talking to Emily: “Uh, I,” Soleil looks over at him and Ray kind of makes a go-on, his brow furrows, “I like to bake and read.” Ray tilts his head, he hasn’t seen Soleil read anything but they also haven’t offered anything for him to read, that’s something they’ll have to fix."

there's emily as buffer but he still feels the need to check Ray's reaction before he can vocalize something he likes.

and from ch.17 there's this: "'I know I like the salted caramel and pumpkin spice from your creamers.' Which is new information to Ray."

- yeah!! bc soleil doesn't say the things he likes :). i think it's great that 2x now Ray has been Witness to soleil saying smth he likes and didn't know about, bc it wasn't intentional but v on par. it's not hard to catch some of the things soleil likes through observation: going outside (most of the time), hot chocolate, lasagna, arts and craft-y things. and trying to then ply him with more of those things without him having to ask works to an extent. But it's a reminder that there are so many things soleil continues to hold close to his chest (sometimes consciously, sometimes not).

he can say it so clearly here 1) after months of getting to know the others where any time he's said he's liked something they've only encouraged more of it, 2) because he's providing context for emily (she is a buffer in this situation) 3) and bc (as the deciding factor) he's not talking about the creamers themselves, which he won't have any of either way, but their Scents. he'll talk around saying he likes something by saying it's nice or tastes/feels good or otherwise talk about a Quality that makes him like the thing, but usually doesn't Directly say he likes something.

And the One instance i was thinking of is in ch.15 here: "'I like—spending time with you too.' He says, hoping that maybe she won’t hear it over the sound of the water" There's the pause bc he nearly aborts the sentence and even when he follows through he's worried about announcing it too loudly. Anyway :) looking forward to expanding on that some more in fic :)) esp parallel w/ the others who r very open (and very secure :)) about what they like

“I don’t know if… 'hurting me' is maybe too..." and in his talk w/ Penny where he has quotes around 'distressed' 'proud' 'hurting me' 'of course' [he can stop something that's hurting him] and ‘appreciate me regardless of what I can do for them.’

The quotes are just all the bits he hasn't had reason to believe, that someone would be proud of him, that he would be appreciated, at all, let alone just for existing, that he could stop something (and so easily at that)

And then w/ 'hurting him' and 'distressed' there's some more of Soleil minimizing or dismissing things that make him uncomfortable or >> distressed. bc making breakfast has certainly been distressing him, but dismissing/minimizing for reasons that you can probably guess and that i'm excited to get more into eventually \o/

"He hovers, doing his best to help, and is directed to cut up the bell peppers. That’s all he’s allowed to do and Ray reminds him that he’ll have plenty of dishes to do later so Soleil just flutters around Ness,"

Soleil has SUCH a hard time just existing in front of others. (Ness excluded.) Pointing at earlier in the chapter where he asks if he could just sit there in the kitchen for a little bit. He always feels like he has to have a Reason to exist in a space, he's cleaning up, he's helping cook, he's watching Ness, it's For Ness. And if not, then he's in the suite or otherwise out of the way.

You know, i have known for literal actual years that i have been typo-ing Mega Bloks as Mega Blocks and i was just going to double down and ignore it but then i just....couldn't anymore SDHKDJSHFKJ

i did not mean to write this much but he lives in my head all of the time so why not. also it's really fun character motivation exploration and i really enjoy writing analysis comments like this on other people's fics so. sometimes i'm like maybe i should save some of this analysis for later when there's more payoff but !! if you're here you're probably invested enough that it won't subtract from your readings

ALSO I. THOUGHT I DELETED THIS BY ACCIDENT and just spent like an hour trying to retype it all so. it's defs all going up now

#Ch.18 #Commentary #Soleil