#i probably know more good pianists than the average person

[lorillee]

you should think about von karma-edgeworth piano au forever and then talk to me about it forever. nudges your shins with my nose like a small cat hi. hello. hi.

-karmaicperfection

ok thank you for indulging me @karmaicperfection 😭😭😭 i started answering this and then got IMMEDIATELY interrupted for like a good solid hour but anyways. obviously this is like spitballing concepts for an au but i think the easiest way to take this is frankly just . incredibly adjacent to your lie in april (an anime which, if you have not seen, you should absolutely 10000000% go watch because im clinically insane about it and it is quite possibly my most favorite anime other than one piece . speaking of i should rewatch it again soon. anyways) except without the romance (which like. To Be Honest i think ylia would have done better without but WHATEVERRRR i suppose the romance is the hook for the average viewer) and obviously adjusted for character dynamics.

so obviously manfred is like world famous virtuoso classical pianist, born a prodigy baby, got private tutoring from some insanely famous pianist, and never lost a competition - plays always 1000000% to the score and never deviates an inch and to even entertain the idea is nothing short of heretical. since generally competitions are going to be judged by how perfectly the pianist plays, manfred always wins even if somebody else has a more interesting or frankly better interpretation of the piece. the main problem here is how the heck he's supposed to cheat since the thing with piano competitions and performances is like you either know the piece or you dont you cant cheat on that so maybe he's just like bribing the judges to favor perfection as opposed to their personal preference. i think he'd be a huge tchaikovsky & rachmaninoff & chopin kind of guy like tell me the revolutionary is not EXACTLY the kind of thing manfred would be playing (like those ending chords ??? you cannot tell me you cant just see him going absolutely ham)

naturally then gregory is another world famous virtuoso classical pianist, but instead of following the score 1:1 he puts a lot more emphasis on personal interpretation - he's very very popular with the people, but in competitions he's always divisive with the judges since some of them are real sticklers for sticking to the dynamics written on the page while others are more open to whatever he's doing. im thinking his taste probably falls more under beethoven & bach & mozart & chopin. i guess during some competition he somehow finds out that a few of the judges were being bribed & reveals this to the public and the Elevator Incident goes as per canon.

miles is like eight i think at that point so he's been taking piano for a few years but since when youre like eight your hands really arent big enough to be playing anything terribly hard, gregory's influence hasnt been set in stone yet - manfred obviously begins imparting the "The Score Is Absolute" mentality onto him. i think he'd also be a lot more strict on teaching music theory (something admittedly i never actually learned like anything about because i was huuuuuge brat and blatantly refused to do the workbooks my teacher gave me and i guess she just gave up 😭😭😭) than gregory. as far as miles' personal preferences go i think hed like chopin & debussy & tchaikovsky & bach. franziska is obviously also baby prodigy girl - she's absurdly competitive and very much a "practicing 8 hours a day minimum" kind of girl. her preferences are anything loud fast and difficult (1) more fun to play 2) gives her the opportunity to show off 3) much more rewarding upon mastery) so very very much a beethoven & rachmaninoff & chopin kind of girl, but also i think miles would give her an appreciation for slower & more sensitive pieces

anyways so i guess in this au phoenix would also be a WAIT LOLLLL hes already a pianist in canon. sorry the fact that that stupid pub he works in literally has a steinway baby grand in it and all phoenix does is complain about having to play it like. grabs you. throws you to the side. scoot over and let me PLAYYYYYYYYYYY .anwyays. anyways ok this is literally the premise of your lie in april but i guess phoenix was inspired to take up piano after hearing miles play when he was like 7 at some school talent show thing and like keeps tabs on him as he rises through the piano world but is distraught to find out miles has abandoned the art of actual interpretation in favor of sticking religiously to the script and through competitions teaches him the value of making the piece truly yours to impart some actual message and feeling to the audience instead of playing like a robot. of course this au isnt about him so thats like all im going to say on that

wait oh theres a problem here. if manfred kills gregory how in the world does that get resolved . ummmmmmm . hm. ok whatever lets just table that for now its not important. actually objectively the funniest way for this au to go is to give it the exact same amount of murder and melodrama and stakes as in the normal series except everybodys a pianist for some reason. this is incredibly tangential im getting wildly off track here but like klavier has the exact same huge fanbase of hormonal teenage girls except hes just like playing schumann. godot is like a jazz pianist that they keep letting enter into these classical piano competitions for some reason. the detectives are their accompanists? many thoughts. okay side tangent over lets get back to the main point here

franziska's arc in aa2 would probably still be the same re: even after manfred's gone she still sticks rigidly to the dynamics written on the score to the point of technical perfection, but completely lacking in personal emotion & interpretation - phoenix's repeated wins over her not due to his sticking to the score but rather to the brilliancy of his interpretations keep rooting up the beliefs that have been absolutely ingrained into her from birth, and miles helps her realize that to be honest actually having something to say when playing a piece is an artistic improvement over being The Most Accurate To The Score. and now i just want to draw everybody at the piano

#also sorry this took so long to answer i kept getting distracted listening to a bunch of pieces 💀💀💀💀💀 #ask #karmaicperfection #ace attorney #the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera #manfred von karma #gregory edgeworth #miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #lorillee.txt #aa pianist au

[archangelmacaron]

NTMF College Au Chapter 12

I may have another off day for updates this weekend (I only started ch 15 last night) to try to catch up with myself but I think you will all enjoy 14 very much, so it should be fine :D I'm trying to take my time and make sure everything I write makes sense and there's no giant plot holes; mysteries and motivations are hard! I'm pretty sure I have it so anything that doesn't make sense isn't supposed to at this point. Hopefully the only big OOC stuff is either things I intentionally changed due to characters being older and (hopefully) more mature, and/or having different life experiences, or that it takes place over like four days, so development just speeds right along! Thanks as always for your comments I love them so much.

-

Oscar leaned back in the armchair, shaking his head. “That's... a lot to take in, Noel.”

“It certainly feels like more than a single day's events, that is for sure.” She looked at the two swords now resting in the man's lap, wondering when and how he'd gotten permission to carry them as campus security. She then glanced at Fugo, still slumped in his own armchair. He was glaring at Caron, who was standing with his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall—and was also glaring back at him. She sighed. This part in particular is a rather ridiculous situation...

“The books on the ceremony won't be in the library, though.” Oscar had a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Oh?” Caron asked, raising a brow as he turned to the other man. Fugo made an obscene gesture at him that he couldn't see, and Noel gave him a scolding look. He wrinkled his nose and shrugged at her, sinking deeper into the chair. He let out another small cough. He really did not seem to feel well.

“A few weeks ago, all of the forbidden tomes from the archives were moved, and I'm sure anything on the ceremony would have been taken, too. I was one of the guards who accompanied the people moving them. Didn't look like much was left behind.”

“Why where they moved?” Caron's eyes were narrowed suspiciously.

Oscar shook his head with a shrug. “Dean Burrows requested it. But I'm fairly sure they were all moved to the performance hall.”

“I wonder why... Are they protected there?” Noel asked, tapping her chin.

“I think they're all locked up in one of the offices. But you're the first student I've seen to express any interest in them, so I guess they're safe enough. After all, the average person can't read devil languages.”

Eh? Devil languages...? —Oh! Noel almost slapped her own forehead. Of course... that is why they did not need to be under heavy security...

Caron will be able to read them, I hope. I do not know why he would be interested if he could not. But now is not the time to wonder!

“I'll need to get there next, then... It's only about twenty minutes' walk, is it not?” She stood up, once more taking much longer than she would have liked. Prosthetics aside, she was feeling exhausted.

Oscar shook his head. “No. Not tonight. You saw that the police are out as well as campus security. You'll have to wait until tomorrow. It's too risky right now. Besides, you're probably exhausted.”

“Well, yes, but we cannot work during the day time, and besides that, I... have a time limit,” Noel confessed. “I was told that if I did not willingly withdraw on Monday, I would be forcibly expelled.”

“That does complicate things a bit, but my advice stands,” Oscar replied.

“You're right... it would be foolish for me to try to break into a second school building right now.” She sighed. “I suppose it was a bit naive of me to think that I could resolve the entire situation this quickly...”

Have I even truly thought this through? I said I wanted answers to the mystery, but that isn't all I was hoping for, was it. It isn't simply that I want to find out why there was a conspiracy to remove and even kill me; if I am honest, I also wanted to be reinstated in good standing—even to be the ceremonial pianist as I should have been.

And now that I know that this has been going on for a long time, I also want justice for those that were cheated out of a bright future, and even more so for those that were murdered. I want answers for them, too.

I am truly a greedy woman...

Caron looked over at her. “I can go without you. You can stay here and rest—assuming this is a safe location.”

The last comment was punctuated by quite a side-eye towards the other men. Oscar glanced at Fugo, then back to Caron. “Unless you mentioned it to anyone else, only us and Jillian should know that she's here at our house. She should be fine. Fugo and I won't be far, and we can also take my bike if you think we'd need to get back here faster.”

Caron nodded thoughtfully, touching his face again. “I do not particularly trust either of you, but Noel does, so I will reluctantly accept her judgment on that point. With that mobile telephone, she can contact you the moment anything goes awry. I can—“

Noel finally interjected. “What—no, absolutely not!"

Caron seemed to frown at her. "Don't be—"

"I'm not being precious. I hate to draw further attention to my mistake in letting Jillian know where I am, but what if Spica follows her?”

Caron made a sour face. “That... is indeed a valid concern.”

“Besides that, I will not permit you to take on all the risk on your own.” She frowned at Caron, and he responded with a truly offended look.

“'Will not permit' me? Absurd. As a Great Devil, I will do whatever is necessary to solve this mystery regardless of if you permit it or not. Have you forgotten that we made a contract—“

“Did you, though?”

They both turned to Fugo, who had sat up and was glaring at them both. Noel tilted her head.

“What do you mean?” She looked back over at Caron. The devil seemed unexpectedly tense.

“I can't help but notice your earlier story lacked a lotta detail on that point. So, Noel, do you actually remember, specifically, making a contract with him? What he agreed to do, what he said he'd take?” Fugo asked. His eyes met, and didn't leave Caron's, as he spoke to her. She could almost see sparks of animosity flying between them.

What does he mean, do I remember...? I-I was drunk, so of course I do not remember the specifics, but... that's the only reason why Caron is helping me, isn't it?

“What are you implying, demon?” Caron asked, his voice dangerously soft. He was no longer leaning on the wall.

“You know for damn sure exactly what I'm implying, devil.”

Noel looked back and forth between the two. Well I do not, so would one of you please explain it?!

I fear asking this out loud would only cause a greater argument...

“Would you care to say it directly?” Caron's stance had changed ever so slightly.

Fugo sat up more, and Noel saw him flex his fists. “Shouldn't you be the one saying it—no, admitting to it?”

The trill of a cel phone interrupted them before she could. It was Oscar's. He glanced at it and stood up. “Both of you. Stop. Fugo, we need to head back.”

“You sure that's a good idea?”

“I am. We share at least one goal with them right now.”

Fugo's glare moved to his brother. “How do you figure?”

“We all need to hide the truth of what happened at the library tonight. We need to be sure that the police don't look too deeply into the type of fire that occurred, or we'll all be in trouble," Oscar continued. “Fugo's already been under investigation for suspicion of being a demon once. If they think the fire has inhuman origins, and Fugo was known to be patrolling the area... I don't know that I can throw them off a second time.”

“I didn't know that,” Noel said, her eyes wide. Fugo made a face, but didn't refute his brother's claim.

That's right... they have a strong motive to prevent the truth from getting out. Even though whatever devil Fugo dealt with is long gone, if they find out he is a demon he is sure to be imprisoned.

And I would be, as well... I had not even considered that. If they originally were going to settle on expulsion, wouldn't imprisonment also be an acceptable outcome? And once there, it would be easy to arrange an accident for me...

As for what would happen to Caron... he'd almost certainly be killed on sight...

She shivered as she looked at him standing rigidly before her. The thought made her feel ill.

“And as for us, we are still unaware of how deep the conspiracy runs. Right now, it doesn't seem like you are a publicly wanted person. Given that Spica is trying to find you, I'd posit that they are still trying to eliminate you quietly. However, if you could be linked to an obvious crime such as arson, the entire student body, as well as the police force, would have a motive to search for you.” Caron touched his face as he thought. “Your associates would be questioned, and I'm sure this house would quickly be searched, which would bring them back to the demon hiding here. So our goals align.”

“I ain't hiding—“

“That all makes sense, even leaving aside the simple fact that I trust Oscar and Fugo both,” Noel interrupted. “Fugo, even if you cannot trust Caron, surely you understand that he does not wish to be found any more than you do, and the more trouble I am in, the more danger he is.”

Fugo grimaced again. “I don't like the idea of leaving you here alone with him.”

Noel found herself frowning again. “I have been alone with him for quite some time now, you know.”

She glanced over at Caron and was a little surprised to see he looked a bit amused again, then she thought on her exact words and internally sighed. I said something foolish again, it seems...

“Fugo, we have to. I have some ideas on how to throw them off the trail, but I need your help. Noel, Caron, we have two guest rooms, one at the top of the third floor stairs and then the second floor on the left. We'll be back at around five AM. We can talk further then. Fugo?”

Fugo slowly stood up, his eyes still narrowed at Caron. He flicked them to Noel. “Noel, take the one on the second floor. It locks.”

He walked out of the room without saying anything else, coughing slightly.

Noel and Oscar exchanged a look. The man shrugged. “Sorry, Noel. He's really worried about you. We don't have time to explain what happened to him, but he has a pretty solid reason not to trust devils.”

“You do not trust them either. You do not need to pretend.” Caron stood up straight, dusting himself off. “I appreciate that you have not been outright hostile.”

“A devil almost killed my brother, and he's suffering the way I did as a kid now. It's harder on him. He's active, I wasn't.” Oscar met Caron's eyes evenly. “So no, I don't really care for devils either. But just like she trusts me, I trust Noel.”

“Eh?” Her own eyes widened again as her friend's eyes moved to her. They were calm and serious. “Why...”

“I know it's not impossible for you to put your trust in the wrong person, Noel, but I trust your instincts and believe your story. If you're choosing to trust this devil, there's a reason for it, right? So I'm going to believe in you, that you know what you're doing.”

“Oh... thank you, Oscar.” She felt a little warm at the compliment, but her anxiety was too high to truly appreciate it. “Will Fugo be all right, though? He seems to be having a lot of trouble breathing...”

Oscar's face twisted with worry. “He should be if he takes it easy. We don't really have that option right now, but I'll try to send him back early if I can. If they realize he's having issues from smoke inhalation, they'll know he was at the library for longer than simply discovering the fire with me. We've been passing any wheezing off as irritation from the sudden temperature drop today. We need to pretend everything is normal, and finish out our shifts to avoid more questions, and work on a cover up all at the same time.” He sighed. He looked more exhausted than he always did. Noel made a troubled face. I wish they had not been brought into this... it is clear they already have their own concerns.

“Oscar, c'mon!” Fugo yelled from the other room.

Oscar looked at Noel one more time. “If you need me, you know how to contact me.”

Noel gave a small smile. “Please take care, and thank you for your hospitality.”

Caron nodded at him, and Oscar returned the gesture, turning to go. “Right. We'll see you in the morning.”

“Oscar Dressel.”

The man stopped, looking back. Caron met his eyes evenly.

“I will not harm her. You may have my word as a Great Devil on that.”

Her heart thumped as she looked at him. A devil's word... it seems to be something he takes very seriously.

Oscar looked at him a moment longer, than nodded. “Yeah. I got that feeling, but I appreciate it.”

He left without saying anything more. Noel waited until the back door shut before turning to Caron. “Wh-what on earth was that all about?”

“He was kind enough to allow us to hide here, and so deserved reassurance that I am not going to take advantage of his hospitality to harm you.”

“You have no reason to,” she said, sighing as she sat down on the sofa. “And you have had plenty of opportunities before now, and have not chosen to take advantage of them, so I am choosing to trust that things will continue along that way.”

He sat beside her—too close, but she was almost used to it now—and looked down at her. It was another expression she couldn't quite understand.

After a moment, he asked, “Do you trust me, Noel?”

She blinked, looking up at him. “I... I had not truly thought about it...”

“Then please think on it now.”

She slowly searched his face. The black, pointed shape and crimson eyes didn't tell her anything she didn't already know.

After a long moment, she sighed. “The truth is... I don't know. I... I might be naive, but I truly don't think you're going to harm me. However, beyond that...”

I don't know if I can believe everything you've told me. Like what Fugo was implying... that we might not really have a contract... I'm afraid to ask.

Why am I afraid to ask?

She shook her head, looking away. “Sorry, that was not what you asked... I cannot give you a clear answer right now.”

“I have not always been able to give you clear answers myself, so I consider it fair play.” She looked back up at him as he spoke again. “Noel... I want to tell you something important now.”

“What is it?”

He met her eyes again. “I am lying to you.”

Is that truly something one should admit to so casually?!

“You... are?”

He didn't break eye contact. “I can't tell you what about. But even so, I want you to trust me.”

Eh??

Her heart was taking off again. She clenched her hands. “Caron, I'm not... I'm not sure how that's supposed to work...”

“You are a creative and determined woman, Noel. I hope you can hold onto the paradox of trusting an admitted liar, at least for a little while longer.” He looked over her face a moment longer, then turned away to face the fire again. “I will tell you the truth as soon as I am able. I can promise you that.”

“I...” She bit her lip as she looked at his elegant profile. “Caron, I—“

Her phone began to trill, and then there was a knock at the door. She read the text quickly, then looked back up at him. “Oh—Jillian is here! Um...”

“Take her to the dining room next door. I will remain here until you call for me.”

She nodded as she carefully began to stand—only for him to stand first, and take her hands to help her up. Her heart pounded again as she stood next to him. He didn't release her hands for a moment. His were warm, and soft, and so much larger than hers, but in a way she no longer found threatening. “And we... we'll talk more later, okay?”

He nodded, sitting down and turning back towards the fire. He closed his eyes. “Of course.”

Noel hesitated, not sure what exactly came over her, but she took two small steps closer to him.

I don't understand.

I don't really know anything about you, and you just told me that you're a liar. We have two different sets of rules that we live by, with barely any overlap... but you were willing to break yours for me.

And so I... I can't say that I trust you, but I...

He opened one eye, looking up at her with an unreadable expression, but a question clear within it.

I...

She was sure her expression was just as vague as she reached out and gently touched the side of his face, just as he had done to her earlier. She held it there for a moment, enjoying how soft it was. Both his eyes met hers now, calmly regarding her.

“Even if I can't trust you, Caron... I'll believe in you for now.”

He closed his eyes again and nodded. “I can ask of no more of you.”

She nodded and left to answer the door, holding her hand to her chest as if to hold in the warmth.

#fanfic

[r3almellow]

MLQC Boys With A Famous S/o

Here we go! Thank you anon for this request I hope its to your liking!! Apologies for typos as always!

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Kiro (YouTuber S/o)

How did you meet ?

You were a YouTuber that had over 500,000 subscribers. During a Mukbang Q&A video you received a question in regards to your celebrity crush. 

“I think the big ass poster currently behind me kind of gives it away, but my ultimate crush is Kiro. I’d give anything to meet him at least once.” You went even as far as to give him a shout out. “Hey, super star! I heard you were a big foodie and since you like to eat and I like to eat, maybe we can eat together sometime? Okay, that was dumb, please ignore this!”

Little did you know, Kiro was a huge fan of your videos and just so happened to see your request. Next thing you knew a clip of you “shooting your shot” made its way to his social media page with a caption of “Its a date ;)” right above it. You just about died when you saw his post. You were only joking around! Well...not 100% joking, but you didn’t expect him to respond! 

You spent weeks talking to each other through private messages soon after. Your messages filled with gushing over your similar interests, playful banters and light flirting. He offered to be a part of your next Mukbang stating that it was better to have two people eating themselves into a coma on camera than one. You couldn’t argue with facts and took him up on his offer! Kiro only had one condition...you let him take you out on a date afterwards.

And the rest was history. 

Dating

The cutest couple to have ever existed! 

Both of your social media pages are filled with couple photos. 

You both get to dress up in disguise whenever you go on dates! A baseball cap, sunglasses, and face masks are your usual go to’s, but depending on where you’re going you might be required to get a little creative. 

Dealing with overly excited fans and even more persistent paparazzi was a bit new for you, since your interactions with people is mostly through the internet, but you handle it pretty well.

Interviewers practically threw themselves onto every opportunity to get information about your love life. Kiro was more skilled than you about these things, so you tend to just laugh awkwardly and let him take care of it. 

Kiro appears a little more in your videos whenever he’s free which the fans are grateful for. Of course, your channel doesn’t turn into all things Kiro and you never use him for your own personal gain. 

Dating Kiro did open up some opportunities for you, like getting to experience award shows and networking with other celebrities and content creators. Again, you refused to throw Kiro’s name around just to get the things you wanted. 

You both like to bounce ideas off of each other, whether its for his music or for your latest video. Having two creative minds come together does wonders! 

You’re almost always somewhere in the background during his live streams.  

Gavin (Actress S/o)

How did you meet? 

High school. You were a part of the drama club and Gavin was...well...forced into being a part of the stagehand after being threatened with expulsion from his last brawl. 

You were the first one to welcome him. You were kind, funny, and cute. And when you were on that stage? Mesmerizing was the best way to put how Gavin saw you. You were inspiring. 

After graduation Gavin lost contact with most of his acquaintances, but he never once stopped thinking about you. Gavin wasn’t big on celebrity news, but he actually kept up with your progress once he got wind of a newcomer taking the entertainment world by storm. 

Fast forward to a few years later and he was playing bodyguard for one of the most successful actresses in the world. You. This was just an undercover job that was going to last as long as his target was still out there. 

There was definitely chemistry between you. And while Gavin wanted to act on his feelings, his work had to come first. You respected that, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to let him know you were interested. How could you not be? You had a huge crush on him back in high school and now that he was by your side practically every day those feelings came back with a vengeance! 

As soon as Gavin’s objective was complete he continues being your bodyguard stating, “Only I can keep you out of trouble.” Which you responded by kissing him.

Dating

Once word got out about you dating your “bodyguard”, it shocked many that you decided to be with someone that wasn’t a celebrity. 

Even so, Gavin doesn’t look like your average Joe. He has the body and face of man who could easily be on the cover of Vogue or Vanity Fair, but you know your man isn’t about that life. 

You’ve spent years being a private person, so when you and Gavin start dating not revealing much was easy. The public only knew what you wanted them to. 

There are a lot of at home dates filled with takeout and movie night. Just being in each others company is more than enough for you!

You work out together a lot! He’s really good about motivating you especially when you have to prepare for an upcoming movie. You honestly don’t need a personal trainer when you have Gavin. 

The paparazzi are afraid of Gavin. Like they won’t even get within six feet of you whenever he’s around. The last poor soul who got a little too close for your liking ate asphalt within seconds.

Gavin isn’t one for the limelight or the glitz and glam, which you appreciate. Its nice to be around someone that isn’t a part of the entertainment world. 

You don’t have to hide a part of yourself, in fear of judgement, whenever you were with him. You appreciated Gavin’s genuine nature. He was always truthful with you and he never gave the impression that he was only with you because of your status. 

Gavin does a great job with making you feel special. Whenever you feel like you don’t meet the standards of what the industry wants, he pulls you out of that dark hole and gives you the pep talk you need to get through the day.

You could walk around without an ounce of makeup on or trade in a Dior dress for sweatpants and a t-shirt, and Gavin still found you beautiful. 

Victor ( Famous Pianist S/o)

How did you meet? 

Victor was a fan of your work for quite some time. There was something about your raw talent that drew him to your work. He always made it a point to go to all your live shows whenever he was available, but has never met you personally. 

It wasn’t until you waltzed right into his office out of the blue. When he saw you enter his office with Goldman and two security guards tailing right behind you, he didn’t even recognize you. You looked as if you had just rolled out of bed with a messy bun, ripped jeans, t-shirt with some random cartoon character and thick rimmed glasses. His first thought as you stared him down with a frown was, “Who let this homeless person into his office?” 

When Goldman called your name as the two security guards grabbed your arms, Victor had to do a double take. The elegant and graceful woman, who commanded the stage with just pads of her fingertips, was...YOU?! 

Victor allowed you to stay, curious to know why you were here. You business with Victor was simple. You wanted funding to create music schools for low income families. You had sent countless emails to LFG with hopes to do business with them, but after being ignored the first few times and receiving a rude rejection email that morning, you were ready to take the bull by the horns. 

Surprisingly Victor found himself intrigued by you and thus started an interesting partnership. 

The more Victor got to work with you the more he became attracted to the headstrong, smart, and talented person who seemingly enjoyed ruffling his feathers every chance they got. 

You were also attracted to the blunt, detail-oriented man and it bothered you to no-end. What you saw in a man who probably would critique drawings from a toddler, you had no idea. But you appreciated his work ethic. He genuinely wanted you to succeed with this project and you couldn’t deny his heart was in the right place. 

The day the first school opened was the day Victor decided to stop tiptoeing around the mutual attraction and asked you out.

“We can celebrate your accomplishments over dinner.” 

Dating

The CEO of LFG and the child prodigy turned world famous pianist dating?!

CAN WE SAY POWER COUPLE?!

Whenever paparazzi get a picture of the two of you, you both look as if you just finished a professional photoshoot. You NEVER look bad in those photos. Never! 

And when you do professional shoots? It leaves people SHOOK. Magazines like Forbes have never had such a beautiful couple grace their covers before. Just wait until people see your wedding photos.

You always ask him to visit you during your rehearsals which he almost always declines but shows up anyway, if he’s not too busy. He’ll also bring a box of his homemade pudding because knowing you, you probably were too busy with preparations for your upcoming concert to eat. He’ll take you out to eat afterwards, but the pudding should hold you over for a bit.

Victor will never admit this to you, but your music helps him de-stress after a long day at work, so whenever he isn’t with you, your music helps him fall asleep. 

Victor also likes to watch you work. Seeing you so focused as you create your next piece was a sight to beheld. The pensive look in your eyes as you went over your music sheet, the slow nod of your head as your fingers danced across the keys as you intently listened to the melody, and the way your eyebrow twitched when you hit a key you didn’t like; all things oddly enjoyed seeing.

You’ll never catch him staring. He’ll pretend he’s working whenever you feel his eyes on you and if you try to call him out on it, he will most likely deny it. 

Lucien ( Novelist S/o)

How did you meet? 

You needed the help of someone knowledgeable with neuroscience for your next book. Someone recommended a Professor at Loveland University who specialized on the topic. That was how you met Professor Lucien. 

You two worked closely together once you started your manuscript, going over various topics under the neuroscience category. It wasn’t surprising just how intelligent the man was on the subject, but you were in awe about how much you knew.

Your meetings would often start at the university which led to you going home together once you found out he lived in the same building as you. You leveled up from the lecture hall to aquariums, movie theaters, restaurants, and his apartment where you had lunch or dinner. 

Your conversations never stayed on the topic of work. It often changed to your interests. You found that you and Lucien had a lot of similar interests like your taste in books and art. He also developed a love for teasing you. 

Seeing the look on your flustered face turned into one of his favorite pastimes.

When it came to the topic of your books, you learned Lucien has read quite a few of them and was very intrigued with your work. He asked you numerous questions, questions no one thought to ask. 

He admitted to you his favorite of yours was the first book he ever read titled, “The Boy Who Dreamed.” You jokingly offered to sign his book, but he declined with a smile.

“I’ll admit I do enjoy the book, but I’m more interested in the woman who wrote it.” 

Dating

More dates at your favorite places. 

Almost every other week, Lucien seemed to have tickets to art exhibits, festivals, or the movies. 

His teasing intensifies by a hundred! That man loves to tease you and you hate it! You love it. 

The closer you got to Lucien, the more you realized he didn’t enjoy talking about himself, so it takes a while to learn about him or his past. You never press him for information, but he does reveal things to you within time.

Lucien loves when you read to him. Its how he falls asleep and once you find out he has trouble sleeping, you always suggest what you call “story time.” 

In truth, having you by his side is more than enough to get him to sleep, but if you aren’t there hearing your voice will do the trick. You could be reading anything and he’d be fine with it. From Dr. Seuss to H.G. Wells, Lucien was fine with it as long as he got hear your voice.

You like to ask for his opinion on your latest projects. He does a great job making you think outside of the box which will make things easier or challenging during your writing sessions. 

Whenever you encounter writer’s block, Lucien will pull you away from your laptop and mountains of papers to enjoy a nice relaxing day with him. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doooone! Please comment if you enjoyed this! I’d love to know what you guys think!

Want to read more of my writing? Check out my MLQC masterlist here!

#mlqc #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mldd #mr. love #mr love queen's choice #mr love #mr love dream date

[wwall-archive]

All At Once, This Is Enough - Ethan W..inters x Me

A/N: ~In light of the announcement I just made~! Surprise! I've been working on this. For several days. My apologies if I've seemed quiet, all my energy was going towards this! This is kind of long, but it's... actually kind of important to me, so I forgave myself on that front, haha. This follows the timeline of my RE AU, which I intend to continue writing out more in depth, in which the events of the 7th game occur and then I ignore the events of 8 even though I love it as a game because I just can't stop thinking about an average life with this man 😭 I do still intend to set this up for a bit of angst, because that just feels like how this needs to go, but it will be resolved shortly! Anyways, my over-explaining aside, I hope you enjoy the beginning of our story. More to come soon ❤️

Warnings: Vague references to alcohol. Allusions to a notable age gap. Mention of divorce. Me being intensely socially awkward.

Word Count: 1738

Tag List: (Thanks so much to everyone who wanted to be added, and as per usual, if anyone wants to be added or removed, no problem, just let me know <3) @sacredempressnatlyia @crowandking @solomates @ship-trek @nekociapek @blueberryships @ariesselfships @lysandthunder @queenvonhresvelg

~~~

As I stepped out of my car and made my way into this building, I took a moment to acknowledge to myself that I was not looking forward to the evening in front of me. Simply to brace myself, if nothing else. Sure, I didn't have anything against fancy events - I'd always actually been rather fond of getting dressed up - but the idea of being trapped in a room full of mostly strangers filled me with a level of unease only an introvert of my level could feel. I shuddered in horror at the thought of the polite small talk that awaited me.

Alas, some events were simply too large to miss, especially when they required the booking of a large venue, and so I found myself taking small, hesitant steps through the large, decorated archway that led to this event hall. I was almost certainly early, as I always was, and it was already too crowded for my liking, filled to the brim with people mingling, and a pianist on stage getting ready to play for a formal dance floor that would soon be filled as well. At least the open bar looked inviting, so I made my way in that direction, hoping it would provide me some small amount of protection from anybody who would be determined to say hello.

I reaffirmed to myself that all I needed to be here for was a quick appearance. Some brief greetings to those who extended my invitation to me, once I could find them, and then I could bolt faster than a startled rabbit. It brought me a modicum of strength, to know I wouldn't be here for too long.

As I made my way through the room, I had to admit that it was dazzlingly decorated, and I felt quite lovely all dressed up, like I adequately fit in with the impressive scenery. If there was going to be any upside to the night, I supposed it would have to be that.

It was a vaguely familiar voice calling out my name that caught my ear, almost certainly someone I had met through work. As I begrudgingly turned to meet them, I did find myself slightly recalling their face. I smiled as they approached and we shared greetings, and it was pleasant enough, even as they rushed into their next words like they knew I would exit the conversation as soon as I could in a panic and were desperate to say their piece, “Wallace, I really wanted you to meet a colleague of mine, he's a systems engineer my organization works with, I thought I could recommend him for… Oh, where did he- Ethan! Wallace, meet Ethan-”

In the following moment that I remained coherent, I was able to process two things. The first, being the features of the man before me, all short dark blond hair and light brown eyes, and slightly boyish features on a face that somehow still managed to convey his status as middle-aged, and a smile soft enough to take my breath away. Two, as I gazed upon the features striking me so, and stuck my hand out to meet his for a handshake, I became quite sure, more than I had ever been sure of most things in my life, that I was about to be an absolute goner for this man.

It took me a moment to come back to my own body, and so once I did I rushed to say, “It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr…?”

“Oh, just Ethan, please.”

“Of course. Ethan. My name is Wallace.”

“Then the pleasure is all mine, Wallace.”

The familiar voice from earlier cut in again, and I could vaguely make out something being said about a previous project that had been worked on, but I couldn't quite bring myself to tear my gaze away from the man in front of me. After a moment, to my shock, it occured to me that he didn't seem to have any intention of looking away either, nor did he seem particularly bothered by that fact.

After that occured to me and made my head spin from the sheer realization that he was content to hold my gaze, I was struck by mortification as I realized that I still hadn't dropped his hand from our handshake, and I rushed to let go. To my relief, he seemed shocked by the revelation of the discrepancy in decorum as well. In the corner of my perception, I heard a small laugh, and something like the words “I'll let you two talk!” Suddenly, fear struck me again, but this time over the thought that I would have nothing interesting to say, now that the official introduction was over, and that Ethan would depart as well.

But that didn't happen, and he smiled at me again, and in a meek tone of voice he began, “I'm sorry, I was sure it looked like you were heading somewhere before we stopped you. If it was a bother I could go-”

“No! No, I had just gotten here. Just making my way over to the bar.” I cringed at myself internally upon realizing I had confessed to heading straight for the bar as soon as I entered the room, but once again it didn't seem to bother him. His deep chuckle made my knees weak.

“Great. Don't suppose you'd want to dance with me instead?” The pianist had started to play a light tune a moment ago, and a few people had come together on the floor. I quickly thought back to the single formal dancing class I had ever taken, knowing I very well could not dance.

“I'd love to.” His smile made my mind go blank for a moment again. By the time I had come back from autopilot, we were on the floor, and he was leading me in a light, easy dance.

“How does a systems engineer learn to ballroom dance?”

He gave a small shrug, “A class or two. I needed some for… an event once.”

I laughed lightly, “Well you clearly took them more recently than me, the one and only dancing class I ever took was a one day requirement in high school. I'd be done for without you right now, I'm sure.”

“Then I'll be happy to guide you with what knowledge I have.”

Our conversation lagged into silence for a moment, and I internally kicked myself for letting it. What was I supposed to say in a situation like this?

I defaulted to the one conversation trick I had, “So, Ethan, tell me about yourself.”

He shrugged again, but he was still smiling, “Well, you know my occupation. Um, I'm 37.” I noticed him watching for my reaction on that one, but when I simply nodded, he continued hesitantly, “I'm from California.” He paused again, this time for longer, but I could tell he was simply working his way up to his next point. “Divorced, relatively recently. I'm a father, I have a little girl, Rose.” He stopped again, watching for my reaction once more. I hoped I was managing to keep my face as neutral as I felt it was.

“Wow. You're honest.”

He cringed, “Too much?”

“Much appreciated, actually.” I swallowed heavily, hoping I wasn't about to overstep or show my hand too early, and lowered my voice just a little, “Lets me know I'm not reading this completely wrong.”

He looked down at our feet, but I could have sworn I saw him break into a grin before he did.

He cleared his throat, looking up at me again, “So? What about you?”

And so I gave him the run-down on me. Occupation, location, age - I saw his eyebrows raise just the slightest at that one, but got a similar non-reaction to the one I gave otherwise - and matched most of what he told me, minus the personal bombshell. I supposed there were some things we each had yet to uncover about each other, and I was saving mine for later.

Upon the end of my self-pitch, he nodded, “Interesting.”

“Oh, is that all I get?” I did my best to make my tone playful, so he would know I was joking, but I had a feeling he would have understood me anyway even if I hadn't put in the extra effort. Our entire conversation, I had held the feeling that he was rather good at reading me already.

“You want more of a reaction, give me more to react to.” His tone was equally playful. I'm quite sure I would have caught the joke even if it hadn't been as well.

“Sir, this is still our first meeting, if you'll recall. We don't need to go dropping all our bombshells at once, do we? And besides, I wouldn't consider a rented event hall the best place for sharing all our deepest secrets, would you?”

He once again let out that chuckle that made me swear you could see the hearts forming in my eyes, and he darted his gaze around the room before meeting mine again, drawing his tongue across his lips nervously, and I could hear the uncertainty in his voice, “Then… do you want to get out of here? Go find something else to do that's better suited for getting to know each other better? Or sharing all our deepest secrets, as you put it.”

It briefly occurred to me that maybe this was a bad idea. I deeply understood the uncertainty he displayed. I knew damn well I probably wasn't in the best place to pursue this, and I had the deep, unshakable feeling that if I left this place with this man, I would be in far too deep to let go easily. I was drawn to him, even if it wasn't the most conventional, or even if it didn't seem like emotionally the most sure-fire, secure decision. Something about him signaled to me that he was probably in a very similar boat. I had a feeling we each had some emotional baggage to unpack. And besides, I still hadn't even made a round to say hello to the hosts yet, either. That was all I had even come here to do. I was supposed to have gotten here, said hello, been awkward, and left. It was supposed to have been a bad, short, night.

“Yeah, absolutely. Let's get out of here.”

#otp: all at once this is enough #my writing #okay to rb! #psa from wallace

[aroseandapen]

Phantom Thief AU v. oumaede: On a night where Kaede and Shuichi have split up in their search of the thief plaguing the wealthy of the city, Kaede has a unintentional dance with the very one she’s looking for.

Of the two places Kokichi might appear that night, Kaede regretted offering to take the large formal gathering. Shuichi would fare worse, though, so she bit her tongue and held her sighs in. Anything to finally catch the thief hitting so many wealthy households in the city. The person who caught him would certainly gain renown--as well as a promotion probably.

The thought made Kaede feel a little guilty. Shuichi wanted to catch him purely for the sake of justice, but Kaede’s motivations were less pure. Not that she *didn’t* want justice, but she was also tired of being on the field for years. She’d like a cushier, more secure, less competitive position that gave her more time for her one truth love. The piano.

More than once, her eyes gravitated towards the unused piano in the corner of the dance hall, wistful and aching to sit at the keys. If only she could’ve infiltrated as a pianist rather than another one of the guests…

“Hey there, what’s a cute girl like you doing being a wallflower here?” The voice caught her off guard. The tone was overwhelmingly familiar, rather than the stiff elegance of the rich party-goers around them, and it had a playful lilt that suggested ‘cute girl’ was a nudge in the ribs rather than an actual flirtation.

She frowned, turning to the man who spoke--and again he stunned her, but with his height.

“Oh,” she uttered before she could stop herself. He was significantly shorter by over half a foot, and though Kaede was slightly taller than average when it came to women, most of the men around her tended to be around her height or taller. Embarrassed with her thoughts, she reddened. She couldn’t apologize, however, or else he’d know why she spoke and probably be offended. “Well, no one asked me yet, I guess.”

It was a bland lie, and she wasn’t sure why she bothered to be dishonest about it. Several guys had asked her already; she simply turned them down, uninterested in anything but watching out for Kokichi.

The man held out a hand, palm up, and Kaede regretted her lie.

“Well then, wanna dance with me?” he asked, and she didn’t have much of a choice but to slide her hand into his grasp.

“Sure,” she said, her smile surely unconvincing.

He stepped lightly back onto the floor, tugging her along. She sucked in a shocked breath, pulled along into a dizzying whirl. Kaede didn’t know anything about formal dancing, but her clumsy feet missed his toes with each stomp as he threaded them through the crowd. They whipped past another couple, so close without colliding that she couldn’t help a giggle as they spun again and again, all across the dancehall.

A second passed in an hour before their whirling came to a stop. Breathless and dizzy, she braced her hands on the other’s shoulders as his hands on her waist were weightless while they supported her. She hadn’t expected the cardio, her heart racing, cheeks flushing, nor did she expect it to be so much fun.

“What can I say? I’m a good dancer,” he said, chortling.

Kaede lifted a hand to her mouth, unsure if she’d spoken out loud.

He tilted his head inquisitively. “Do you play piano?”

Her eyes widened. “How’d you know?” she asked, baffled.

He jerked his chin in a direction behind her, and she didn’t need to look to know he gestured towards the dusty piano. “You were staring at it when I came up to you.”

“Maybe it’s just weird that they don’t have a pianist playing tonight. There’s always one at these fancy things.”

“Maybe,” he sang, and his smile grew, “but you already told me I’m correct.”

She snorted, shaking her head. “Hey, I didn’t get your--”

“Oh!” he cut her off with a startling utterance. “I forgot to ask the pretty lady’s name, hm?”

It felt a bit odd to her that he interrupted just as she was about to ask for his name, but she brushed it off. “Kaede. That’s my name. And yours?”

He didn’t answer right away, taking up a cheerful hum. “Kaede, Kaede, hmm…”

Then he stood on his tiptoes, leaning in so abruptly that Kaede sucked in a quick breath. His lips were next to her ear, his voice dropped to a whisper--no, more a breath ghosting over her skin. She shivered at the sensation.

“The name’s Kokichi Ouma, Miss Detective-Pianist.”

The pressure against her vanished, leaving her body chilled from the spots he’d held her in during their dance. Kaede was left blinking, stunned, her brain short circuiting from the suddenness of what just happened and struggling to catch up. Meanwhile Kokichi had vanished, slipped off among the crowd. She swung her head around, trying to catch a glimpse in the crush of bodies.

There. At the glass double doors that led to the balcony, slipping outside.

“Scuse me, excuse me.” Kaede dove through people, bumping people in her haste to get past. The doors had already clicked shut when she got there but she burst through, knocking into the glass with her shoulder.

The balcony was empty. On a whim, she happened to look up, a dress shoe dangling above her head. The leg it was attached to vanished up onto the roof.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Kaede wasn’t one for rooftop chases or anything dangerous like that. Shuichi would be if he was here though. If she didn’t even try to catch him, then her partner would blame himself for not being here, no matter what she said.

Grunting, she yanked the straps off over her heels and kicked off her shoes. They flipped over the edge, clattering down to the ground floor but she didn’t care. She’d probably never use them again anyway. With a foot braced on the railing, she hiked up her dress and hoisted herself up. She was just barely able to catch the edge of the roof with her fingers. Slowly, groaning in exertion, she pulled herself up.

Kokichi hadn’t gotten far. As she climbed up, he turned towards her with a gaping mouth. Then he laughed, high-pitched and delighted.

“You really came up here? I really underestimated you, Kaede!” he gleefully called across the tiled roof.

She spread her feet to give herself more stability. “I’m taking you in tonight, you’re not getting away!”

A gust of wind buffeted her, making her sway back. Her stomach dropped; she curled her toes against the bottom of her shoes so tightly that one of her feet cramped. She didn’t fall, but the reminder of the drop behind her stabbed like an icy knife in her gut. Regret bubbled up in her throat. Maybe this was a bad idea.

But as she worked the cramp from her foot, Kokichi had put more space between them, placing each step with ease like he was just walking on an even path. He taunted her with a grin.

“Gonna have to move faster than that if I’m not supposed to get away, Kaede~”

Her frustration flared hot; she saw red. She gritted her teeth and lunged across the rooftop. The distance between them plummeted. Kokichi yelped and jumped back from her swinging arm. Her fist closed over air--she grunted and swung for him again.

He slipped to the side. She missed, but her momentum kept her moving forward. The roof fell away just a few steps away. Kaede gasped, her heart leaping to her throat to choke off a scream. She pinwheeled her arms to regain her balance, to stop, to avoid the fall.

Kokichi grabbed the back of her shirt and yanked. She landed on her butt--shaking, but still alive on the roof.

“Be careful!” he scolded, fear bleeding into his voice.

Kaede couldn’t respond. She was too busy trying to catch her breath. The wind whistled past her ears, her eyes fixed on the dizzying drop that she would’ve had if Kokichi hadn’t pulled her back. She swallowed and shook her head.

“Y-you saved me.” Kaede turned to face him.

The rooftop behind her was empty. In the time it took for her to regain her composure enough to react, Kokichi had escaped. She lifted a hand to her forehead, swallowing back her fears and regrets.

“N-next time…” she breathed. But next time, she’d leave these dangerous stunts to the acrobats. No promotion was worth death.

#oumaede #kokichi ouma #kaede akamatsu #drv3 #danganronpa v3 #drabble

[ghoulxbaekhyun]

I have a new header now :D and I think these few new dedicated days will mark the beginning of more positivity in this community 🖤

𝓢𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓢𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓭𝓪𝔂: @incubuswooyoung

𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓢𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓭𝓪𝔂: @pianist-jihyo @biker-minghao

1. @yourmom-jieun

Ji-chan, I can't stress enough just how much you mean to me. You've always been the heaviest rock in my life, you've helped me through so much and you've always been there for me. My dearest little sister, you're such a strong person. The amount of pain you've gone through was unbelievable, yet you still held on for the sake and happiness of your children and your friends.

You helped and cared for many of us, but I don't think you've ever had equal amounts of love for yourself. I know today will be the day of your departure and I am saddened by that. But if it means you'll be happier, you'll be healthier, you'll be better, then go for it.

Just because the person is gone doesn't mean the memories will be too. I'll always remember you. And you know exactly where to find me 🖤

2. @/spy-jaehyunx ° @time-for-confession

To dearest Admin Kai, I can't thank you enough for always looking out for me. Yoonoh was my first everything. My first kiss, my first crush and my first love. I hope you know that even if you're gone, I'll always remember you.

Just as I've remembered my fallen comrades, my past friends, I'll definitely remember you. Thank you for giving me the love and affection, for the late night talks, that time you said you'd deal with my angsty ass.

Thank you. For being there for me, both you and admin. I'll be here for you anytime, Kai. Don't forget to take care of yourself, yeah? 🖤

3. @m00n-purplerose-chatbot

This is directed to both admin Moon and the boys. To the wonderful, legend of a person Admin Moon! I respect you and your writing skills very very much. You never fail to touch my heart, wether it be a depressing angst scene or an action-packed fight scene or a soft heartfelt scene. You manage to hit me with so many different emotions that I didn't know we're possible. I've known you and the rest for quite some time now, and I'll have you know you're one of my closest friends here.

To the boys, (yes I'm giving them all a paragraph)

Jeonghannie, I hope you keep on staying strong. You've been through a lot, dearest leader. You've suffered plenty and you've seen way too much heartache for the average person. Although it gets tough, I know your past shaped you into the person you are today. And I couldn't be any prouder.

Shuashua, I haven't gotten to know you well enough to say too much, but I want you to know that you still have my support and affection. Take care of Jeonghan like you always do, you both are made for each other. Try not to stress out because of the kids, I know how frustrated and helpless you can feel from their ruthlessness hhh-

Hao, you're the definition of that one best friend that loves exposing and teasing the shit out of you but cares and loves you just as much as they do their bullying. I haven't gotten close to you, just like Shua either, but I'll have you know I'm here for you too. Stay the way you are, sunshine. You've never failed at making me and other people smile.

Wonnie and the gang, you're a tol bean. You're seriously one of the squishiest people ever you know that? I'm glad that you're also staying strong despite the past that you probably have. I haven't gotten to know you better as well, but I'm looking forward to learning more and more about you all! Hope you forgive Seokmin for the argument too :')

Jihoonie, I know we don't really talk, and by don't really talk I mean we barely talk at all. You're the logical person in the team and you do your job very well. You're reserved and cold and mysterious. But I know you're more than that stone face. I'm looking forward to learning more about you too, so take care yeah?

Junnie, we may not talk a lot but I want you to know that I care for you too okay? It may just be a few skirt pics that are simply unforgettable but I want you to know that I'll be your hyung just as much as I'll be a hyung to the others. You and Wonwoo are freaking adorable, so stay cute together okay?

Mingyuuuu, I remember the longest conversation we had was because of the engagement ring mishap kshsjsjsk. You got your ass whooped, and I was worried tbh- but you've probably been through a lot already. I want you to know I'm here for you too okay? So keep staying strong!

Last but not least, dearest Seokminnie. Oh, where do I start with you? I can vaguely recall the first ever interaction we both had, when you and Hao pointed out the fact that yes, I do eat humans. Cannibalism never striked me as a way to start a friendship but hey, it worked~

Over the course of a few weeks we've only gotten closer and closer. I can't help but be protective of you, and just feel like keeping you in my pocket most of the time. I know your past, and you know mine. It may not be alterable but let's keep staying strong together okay?

I know your secrets too, and after what went on in private i think it's time for me to be honest and come clean. I think I'm starting to fall for you too, Seokmin. I've never felt something like this with anyone else before but I like you too.

I won't pressure you into choosing me, it won't be fair for you to face such pressuring. But I want you to know that it's mutual. Even if you're too good for me. But thank you, okay?

Thank you for always staying by my side. 🖤

4. @vampiresanha

Sanha and Aleister, thank you for caring for me. Thank you for all the fun times and showing me how to live life. Thank you for calling me out on my boringness and swooping me away to that cliff. You two are such amazingly people that deserve way more friends and love.

I'll always be ready to donate my blood whenever Sanha needs it, you'll always be my favourite vampire. Aleister will always be my favourite dragon. You two will always be my favourite person with two souls.

Thank you for being here for me, you both. I'll let you know that I'll do the same. 🖤

5. @moonlightchn

Admin, I can't express just how much love I want to shower you in ;-; you're such an amazing person, and i want to thank you for all the affection and care you've given me. I wouldn't mind staying up late to talk to you through asks again, twas fun~

To Channie Chan and Chris, you three are the most chaotic pack of wolves I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Channie you fucking cutie, stay soft and stay loveable okay? You're the sweetest fluff ball ever, I can't handle the uwus you shower me with >-<

Chan, the big scary alpha that I let the chance to dom slip away dumbly, you're a really great person. Taking care of your pack while being so nice to others. I'm here for you anytime yeah?

Finally, the one that I must've wounded. Chris, I'd like to start it off with an apology. I'm sorry that i hurt you after answering about who my favourites were, I really didn't mean to. You're on rut now and I know you'll be all passive aggressive and as long as you are I'm never replying to our DMs but even so. I want you to know just how much I care for you. Because i do.

No matter how much we trash talk each other and no matter how much angst we end up accumulating, I'll still care for you. All three of you.

And that's a promise I'm willing to keep. 🖤

Now, I'm sure there's more people that I need to talk about, more people that have been there for me and helped me through various different things. But for now, I'll end it here. Admin's fingers are starting to hurt from typing all of this at once, but we both have no regrets because these are all the things that we've always wanted to say.

Call it appreciation if you may.

I think I'll do my Support Saturday in a different post, so for now, that's all for Sentimental Saturday.

Thank you, to everyone. Thank you for being here🖤

EXO 🖤: @werewolf-sehun @werewolfkai @j-0ngdae @serialkillerkris @softdomtao @y-ix1ng @captain-kyungsoo @college-baekhyun @serialkillerkris

🖤: @ghoulxjeongyeon @vampiresanha @barista-san @bunjihyo @dalsooobeanie @madmanwoodam @m00n-purplerose-chatbot @your-jaemin @moonlightchn @mafiabossxjunmyeon @xash-axx @time-for-confession @yourmom-jieun (🥺) @vamp-jjk @yourchaechae @kpop-shelter

#baek talks🖤 #admin talks✨ #sentimental saturday #dm for +/-

[michael-weinstein]

Leave me alone!

WARNING: This post is a venting-out of boiling anger, which can amount to mental illness. Maybe not for those weak of heart, but for sure for those who caused me so much anxiety, and contrarily, those who want to help me out of this. As for everyone else, read and suffer.

Well, corona, the world is practically on fire, and what else... Oh yes. Things in the relatively more intimate world (that is, for me) - namely, school, my followings on Instagram, YouTube and email subscriptions - keep bothering me to an incredible extent. I was wanting to write this blog post since March honestly, but I didn't find the time and the need to vent everything out. Now, though, that I am really mad, I'm somewhat thankful for the opportunity, because I'm making my opinions known, and merely hoping that they get more circulation than before.

My main classical music following had been Deutsche Grammophon and Decca (through email and Instagram, and - in the case of the latter - 2 YouTube channel subscriptions), the Berlin and Vienna Philharmonic Orchestras (Instagram), Norman Lebrecht's Slipped Disc (email) and the ClassicsToday.com editor David Hurwitz (YouTube viewing). All of the following had, to a certain extent, drive me insane in the past few months, in ways that I can't describe (one time with Hurwitz, it was so much so I needed to vent my anger in this very outlet). To a certain extent, for those who remember, the same happened with the Mahler Foundation in May, but since writing that post, I've come to realize that not only this is pretty much not important (at least much less than it seemed at the time), there are far worse issues that I'll need to address (I won't yet, perhaps to get more reading and get the image fixed, but I'm hoping I will address this important issue relatively soon). My great bane with the BPO and VPO, but especially with DG, came around the time of the Salzburg Festival in August, which was itself a bane all by itself, but by having these 3 leading musical institutions being an important part of the Festival just made me go bonkers. I don't really had a problem with the Festival being held at the time, when corona cases where relatively low, as long as the Festival was being sensitive, and did things on a much smaller scale as they had said at the beginning that they would. But the moment that they do Elektra and Mahler's 6th, whatever social distancing there would occur in the audience, with so many people onstage and/or in the pit, they're just calling for trouble. It is indeed something of a miracle that there were no casualties during the Festival, but I really think it would have been smarter not to take the risk, whatever the need for culture (besides, probably only those who would attend are those who are "jet-set" and are in Salzburg every year for the wrong reasons, but I will maybe discuss that sometime). The Vienna Philharmonic were therefore one of the major partners in the crime, more so than their Berliner counterparts. But, and this is the important part, I would very much in my hoped-for career as probable pianist and maybe composer, but most as conductor, want to collaborate with the Berliners and the Viennese. They are orchestras that I maybe don't need, but I do want to make music with. The same thing can't really be said for Decca and, more importantly, DG. Interestingly, Decca almost seems dead in the way that they rarely post on Instagram, sent a newsletter or upload on YouTube, while DG is excessive beyond normal human standards. I think they post on Instagram averagely 3 times a day, upload on YouTube twice, and send a newsletter each weekend. How the hell can you bear such a thing?! There are more adventurous labels with pretty "big names" (Alpha, Chandos and Hyperion, to name just three), that I would feel more comfortable to record with, than DG, Decca and probably also Warner (I don't follow them anywhere, which is probably just as good, considering the pervious sentences).

In addition, throughout the Festival the Karajan institue also helped to bring in their own click-baiting and "martyring" of their namesake. My attitude to Karajan as man and conductor is more mixed than it was in the past (most of which can be attributed to Lebrecht), but ever since then they made me emotionally sick with statements to the effect that Karajan was the greatest conductor ever. I have to admit that I'm much more of a Bernstein fan, and that I had barely listened to Karajan recently, but the Bernstein Offices never, apart from the centenary, did interviews of the Karajan kind, and even I'm going to admit that some Bernstein interpretations are less well than some others, maybe even than Karajan's!

So now with the Salzburg band-wagoning out of the way, there are two other culprits: Hurwitz and Lebrecht. I've encountered Hurwitz fairly recently, and I should add, that I have rather mixed relations towards him. One day in the morning, I see a video he uploaded and it makes me absolutely mad (see the link above), and then in the evening he uploads a humorous roast with which I completely agree. But generally, I'm just mixed with him. My relation to Lebrecht is also mixed, though generally positive. He has just finished a survey of most of Beethoven's output. However, his behavior regarding the "Schenker storms" is either complete misunderstanding or just outright conservative foolery.

There are 2 other "classical music" personalities which I have to mention. My relation with Mark Berry is very mixed, but he hasn't bothered me as much since March, as the main activity on his blog Boulezian (shows pretty much where he is heading) is concert and opera reviews, and he didn't have much of a chance to that, so I'm thankful for that. I will give him credit though that he is actually one of 2 people whose blogs gave me the impetus to start mine.

The other one is the other "classical music" personality I want to talk about briefly, Kenneth Woods. He is music director of the Colorado MahlerFest, the English Symphony Orchestra, and writer for his blog View from the Podium. I like him very much, as I share a lot of his musical affinities - Mahler and Shostakovich, to begin with - as well as professional insights into music of (among many others) Strauss and - perhaps more importantly from an interpetive point of view these days - Beethoven. I kind of just happen to agree with many of his opinions, and even those which I didn't think of before, I agree with them because they make sense to me. I think that the reason he appeals to me, is because he's a conductor and a cellist (also used to be a guitarist, and does it in his free time!). With the exception of Hurwitz, who was a percussionist in local orchestras, everyone else I mentioned above are scholar-critics. Woods appeals to me because he's a practical musician (and he keeps a rule not to talk about any living conductors, or at least not mentioning them by name). He was an orchestral cellist, as well as a soloist and chamber music partner as well, so he experiences the actual music world of making music from both sides, as cellist and conductor. Hurwitz, Lebrecht and Berry all might have interesting observations, but their ultimate test is in the performance lab, and that is why I like Woods so much.

So far, I've dealt with classical music's personalities and industry. Now I have to deal with my friends and other Instagram followings. It's more irritating, because even though they are dishonest like the "establishment-industry", they are closer in my world in a sense. Yom Kippur was recently, and I can still remember everyone around just going "I'm sorry, God" and all the other standard things one says before Yom Kippur. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU KIDDING!!! Everyone, especially yourselves, know that we promise never to do these things again, and barely an hour has passed since Yom Kippur is out, and we come back to do those things again. Every year it happens. Everyone knows it, it is simply an open secret that nobody either needs or wants to say. I say the same on myself, by the way. Yom Kippur is a complete lie for us, because neither me, you, and even the most just and Mitzvah-keeping person on Earth, are able to keep the promises that we will get better than this. It never happens. Why do we get flodded with this? It's absolutely no worth. You say that you're "sorry about the way I insulted you"? Complete rubbish. Unless you found out that the entire situation was so stupid you can laugh about it, nobody is sorry about anything they said. The king is naked, and as the meme says, "always has been".

My classmates start growing on my nerves sometimes. The way people just ask for answers so immediately and lazily, without having tried to answer things themselves just makes me go mad. I don't have a problem if they try to do it, or if they're in a rush at the last moment, and ask some guys for answers. But when as soon as the assignment is sent, they ask for someone to do the job for practically 10 other classmates (if not more!), that's too annoying.

My teachers, however, go on a different way of making my life difficult. They don't really annoy me by poking their selfish faces at me as much as expecting me to do everything perfectly. Even those who are kinder (in a sense, since I'm one of the good boys, so kinder practically means that they teach better or are more interesting) make me mad. There are only 2 teachers (another comes close) in the entire school I'm able not only to appreciate, but also to love learning with them. Fortunately, one of them is my homeroom teacher. Without these few teachers, I wouldn't care about school at all. It could just go to hell. We currently have a shutdown, but I still remember a few weeks ago that during a math class, I needed to read my score of Shostakovich's 4th just to keep myself from making my mental health even worse than it was (and probably still is). And even during shutdown, things are not improving. Zoom calls were to be a complete waste of time, were it not for my piano lessons and (sometimes) therapist sessions. History class is especially badly taught. The teacher of that class is of the kind of "the smaller the group - the better", because when I was with her in smaller groups she truly was better. Mind you, I'm the nerd guy who loves history (though I'm probably not the only one in our class), and she managed to make history boring. That's a complete failure. Sports class is a complete waste of time in ways I can't really describe. You can only feel it.

I have though been somewhat fortunate since May and June. Because of my critique of the Mahler Foundation and its online Festival, I've got in touch with a 8th-grader (they/them) from Canada, an a college sophomore in English literature from Florida. We three formed an online gang of just us, getting together on the basis of our love for Mahler and Shostakovich. With their advice, having understood that I will need some really fitting music to get me through the year, I've decided that I will listen on my way to and back from school, as well as during breaks, to listen to nothing but Shostakovich. That plan sort of fell through pretty quickly (by which I mean, only 3 days), but Shostakovich was a great part of my phone repertoire in these first 3 weeks of the school-year. In the last week, however, Henze's Fantasia for Strings took over, and it was somewhat fitting, given that the music began its life as Henze's score for Young Törless, an adaptation of the novel by the fairly similar name of Robert Musil, by Volker Schlöndorff (his directorial debut). These two, the 8th-grader and the sophomore, are practically my main lights these times, when we sometimes meet for a call on Discord at night.

However, these few lights are still engulfed by the complete darkness and hypocrisy that surrounds me now. I've had enough! My complaints go out now especially to the education system in this country which is just reacting horribly to the situation! I can simply go crazy from that! All the Instagram personalities, do me a favor, and please do consider those who are probably less well mentally than you are, and stop showing the way you're enjoying yourselves in pools and parties. And cut the "no filter" crap! If something would have really been with no filter, it would be ordinary and dull. To quote Alex Ross, who in turn paraphrases Nietzsche, I'm done with "the lie of the grand style". Less Wagner (in his conservative bits) and his idiotic imitators, Brahms, Mendelssohn, and all those who thought that music stopped with Beethoven, more Mussorgsky, Scriabin, Schoenberg, Berg, Webern, Satie, Stravinsky, Bartok, Shostakovich, Weill, Hindemith, Weinberg, Bernstein, Britten, Nono, Berio, Henze, Messiaen, Lutoslawski, Ligeti, Penderecki, Schnittke, even Boulez and Cage. And please do more meaningful Bach, Vivaldi, Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, Berlioz, Liszt, Bruckner, Tchaikovsky, Mahler, Richard Strauss, Debussy, Ravel and Sibelius.

(Quick sidenote: I have to admit, that this post was written in turns, I wasn't commited to write it. Sometimes I got super angry and vented.)

A few days ago, my sophomore friend sent me a link to a Discord server, where she, the 8th-grader and a couple other friends were part of, and asked me if I would join in. I said I would join gladly. This is my first Discord server, and therefore I've got 4 other friends. This is where I feel at home, where I belong (not in terms of family, thank God, but in terms of friends). I really do prefer being with them than with my classmates.

Our educational system is either a joke, or a gulag. What is the point to have being taught the material on Zoom, for averagely 6 and a half hours a day, 5 days a week, and putting even more workload on us than we had been in school physically, and even more than when we studied online from March to June! And then they expect us to ace through the final exams that we have in the next 2 years! Once in the past few months, I've once wondered about a question: would I prefer to ace my exams, but thereafter being so mentally and emotionally shocked that I will need psychaitric treatment? Or should I not do them at all, but still being able to do what I love doing and be happy with myself? After thinking about it for several seconds, I answered that I would prefer the latter, and ever since then I've been saying this to certain people around me unhesitatingly.

Leave me alone! I'm not able to cope with all of this! I'm feeling so empty, I don't even want to eat a whole ton, sleep a lot, or even die! I'm just empty! I'm barely able to play the piano (that is mentally), I just get tired of it almost immediately! I don't want this to happen! Everything loses its appeal to me!

Over the past few weeks, I've come to know Shostakovich's 8th String Quartet, one of the most autobiographical and depressive pieces ever written. It was composed in 1960, when he had just returned from bombed-out Dresden, where there was a movie filmed about the last days of World War II to which Shostakovich composed the music, but more importantly, it was not long after he had suddenly joined the Soviet Communist Party (probably forced to). These 20 minutes of the quartet feature throughout a musical motif - the pitches D, E-flat, C, B-natural. In German notation they are D, S (in German it's actually Es, but the pronounciation is the same), C, H (B is used in German for B-flat). The composer's name, as rendered in German is: Dmitri Schostakowitsch. This is not the first time he has been consciously using this motif (he had already been doing so for nearly a decade), but this is the most extensive use he has ever made of it. It's as if he is obsessed with himself. Shostakovich, as a result of joining the party, was obsessed with suicide, and most of his works from there on consider death, in a way he rarely did previously, death for completely fatalistic reasons, nothing to do with the authorities. The 15th String Quartet, his last, is even bleaker.

The basic point is that ever since I came to know this piece and the school year started, I've used the slogan DSCH as a symbol of protest. I can still remember having half-done math homework, and before scanning them and sending, I scribbled DSCH clearly and furiously across the top of the first page.

The last movement of Shostakovich's 8th String Quartet, a slow fugue on a theme beginning with the DSCH motif, is the movement in which Shostakovich seems to obsessed with this motif the most. And all I can say is that for the past two months, if not even more, I've been wanting to just say "Leave me alone!" for eternity, like DSCH in that movement. Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone....leave me alone...leave me alone....leave me alone....leave me alone.....leave me alone..... leave me alone..... leave me alone..... leave me alone....... leave........... me.......... alone......... leave......... me........ alone....... leave....... me....... alone............ leave............ me............. alone................ leave.............................. me.............................. alone..............................

leave me alone

#vent #salzburg festival #david hurwitz #classicstoday #norman lebrecht #slippeddisc #mark berry #boulezian #kenneth woods #mahler foundation #henze #shostakovich string quartet 8 #dsch #coronatime #corona time #gustav mahler #dmitri shostakovich

[somethingpoeticiguess]

Ohshc Au Idea

- Ohshc Au where they all go to art school (both performing and drawing and stuff y’know (is it called visual??))

- Sort of like the same vibe as that show on Netflix called Backstage

- The school would be one of those super prestigious art schools like the Juilliard of their universe

- Tamaki would obviously be there to study piano

- he’d spend hours in the practice rooms and all of the other pianists hate him because he’s got some sort of superhuman power when it comes to booking practice rooms before anyone else

- Kyoya would be vocal performance with a minor in Broadway type acting (help I don’t know the actual terms)

- here I go again rambling about my Kyoya can sing headcanon that I will go down with 

-Babey boy would probably be known as one of those people who can sing anything throughout the school

- Everyone from school can tell his voice apart from everyone else’s

- like if they walk past a practice room and hear him singing inside they can tell instantly that it’s him

- like picture this: a senior is giving a freshman a tour of the college and they walk past the practice rooms and inside practice room 3 the Freshman can hear someone singing in the best voice that they have ever heard. The freshman says to the senior with starstruck eyes “Who’s that??” “Ahh” the senior says “That’s Kyoya Ootori, he’s kind of a legend around here”

- Hikaru would be a Shakespearean type actor

- Like he has whole ass monologues on the tip of his tongue at any given moment

- He’s a super good actor however he can’t sing for shit so he could never be in a musical

- He’s secretly jealous because Kyoya can sing so well

- They’re secretly jealous of each other

-Kyoya wishes he could act as well as Hikaru and Hikaru wishes he could sing as well as Kyoya

- Kaoru would be the one to take over their mother’s business and would study fashion and clothing design 

- Even though Hikaru is the eldest he had no interest in the family business and decided to pursue acting instead 

- Luckily for the Hitachiin family Kaoru took to clothing design from a very early age

- He makes clothes for the rest of the hosts on a regular basis

-He makes all of the clothes that the hosts wear for their performances and art galleries and whatnot

- The drama department loves him because he makes all of their costumes

- Mori would be a sketch artist, a painter, and a sculptor

- He’d basically do everything in the art department from drawing to welding metal figures

- he doesn’t talk much so he communicates through his art as cheesy as that sounds

- He constantly has either paint on his clothes, clay under his nails, or both at the same time

- People in the general public are slightly concerned when he opens his bag and they see a blowtorch inside

- His metal sculptures are littered all across campus

- Some of these sculptures include but are not limited to: A giant replica of Mary Poppins, Patti Lupone (Kyoya legit cried when he saw this one), and a giant metal spider that the students have so aptly named Kenneth

- Kenneth lives on top of the Art building 

- Despite the fact that he’s an art student he really loves showtunes and gets really excited to see/hear Kyoya sing them

- Honey is a culinary arts student

- His specialty is (obviously) desserts

- He makes the prettiest cakes and the most delicious meals

- He has to stand on a step ladder to make those giant wedding type cakes

- He constantly smells like a bakery... like constantly

- Haruhi is a violinist

- she treats her violin like a baby. She even keeps it in the child seat part of the cart when she goes to the grocery store

- She goes to the school on a violin scholarship 

- She plays a cheap violin she got from a small music store when she was ten with her birthday/Christmas money that she had been saving for years 

- The way she plays that cheap little violin you’d think it was a super nice expensive one 

- She’s mostly self taught

- When she was young she couldn’t afford lessons so she taught herself to play

- She only began to take lessons when she got to high school

- I imagine when she isn’t playing classical for school her playing sounds a lot like Ada Pasternak

- Ada Pasternak Video: https://youtu.be/YQSzk44hBmk

- when they don’t live in the dorms they rent a fairly large house that they all live in together (like that house that Sam Golbach, Colby Brock, Corey Scherer, Aaron Doh, Devyn Lundy, Jake Webber, and Elton Castee lived in together) 

- Tamaki has a whole ass grand piano in his room 

- Nobody’s really sure how he got it in there

- He also has a keyboard that he brings around the house for jam sessions with the other hosts

- They have jam sessions in the living room

- Tamaki brings down his keyboard or he plays the little theatre piano that sits in their living room

- Haruhi brings down her little violin that she loves with all of her heart Kyoya would sing with them

- They’d do stuff like that Ada Pasternak video I put earlier in this post except instead of Haruhi singing it would be Kyoya

- Mori’s room legitimately would not be a bedroom

- It would be an art studio with a Mori sized bed in the corner and a theatre style clothing rack next to it

- he has like four easels all around the room and a desk covered in drawing pads, pencils, ink markers, colored pencils, oil paint, and random multicolored stains

- In the middle of the room he has a raised platform with whatever sculpture he’s currently working on sitting on top of it

- He has a shelf with all sorts of supplies in it

- He has like three different blowtorches, a huge array of paint brushes, different sharp things for his clay sculptures, hammers, a bunch of books on the history of art, and a dirty paint and clay covered apron with random burn holes in it

- Kyoya has like a whole arsenal of throat coat teas and herbal things in his room as well as a kettle and a hot plate

- In the corner he built a small room that only has room for one average sized person to go inside and coated the inside with sound proof padding and that’s where he practices belting and other different vocal techniques 

- Kyoya absolutely loves their giant bathroom

- The acoustic qualities make him really excited he loves to sing in there 

- Kyoya, Tamaki, and Haruhi sometimes jam in their fantastically acoustic bathroom because they are attracted to good acoustics the same way a moth is attracted to a bright light

- Hikaru has a whole library of scripts in his room

- like his bookshelves are just overflowing with scripts from all the plays he’s been in 

- Some books on Shakespeare and the ins and outs of acting are scattered around the bookshelf too but it’s mostly scripts

- On his desk he keeps the script from the show that he’s currently in right in the middle of his desk with a pencil cup in the corner full of pens and highlighters 

- He has a huge bulletin board in his room filled with pictures from different shows and different print outs of his favorite monologues and whatnot

- Kaoru’s room is similar to Mori’s in the sense that it’s barely a bedroom at all

- He has a small bed and a small dresser and the rest of the space is filled with his work

- He has a huge desk that is covered in scraps of fabric, scissors, and measuring tape

- He has a HUGE pin cushion in the corner that would be an absolute hazard if it fell to the ground

- Above his desk is a giant bulletin board similar to Hikaru’s except his is less of a collage and more of an idea board

- It’s full of sketches for new designs and has the occasional magazine clipping or inspirational quote

- Honey basically lives in the kitchen 

- His room only has a bed and a dresser and a few ginormous bookshelves

- on these bookshelves are countless numbers of cookbooks

- 90% of what’s on these bookshelves is actually just regular notebooks and journal type things full of recipes that Honey has come up with himself 

- The kitchen is HIS domain none of the other hosts ever use it other than to get the occasional glass of water or snack here and there

- They basically eat gourmet every night

- He cooks all of their meals and uses them as his guinea pigs 

- Luckily for them 99% of the time his food is absolutely delicious

- Their house is full of just bits and pieces of what they do

- Mori’s artwork decorates the entire place

- The centerpiece for their table is a bouquet of metal flowers that Mori made

- His paintings decorate the walls and some of his sculptures sit as decorations in some of the different rooms

- There is sheet music literally all over the house

- nobody bats an eye when hey find the crescendo piece of a classical violin song on the kitchen table

- or when they find the lyrics to a classical opera song jammed in between the couch cushions

- Kaoru will often use Haruhi as his model for his dresses 

- he’ll have her put on a tank top and bike shorts and literally build a dress onto her body and by the end she’s walking around the house in a whole ass Victorian style ballgown

- God help their house if Kyoya gets sick before a performance

- The amount of throat coat tea he consumes is absolutely unreal

- He has a little table with shelves behind it in his room with a tea kettle and a hot plate on it

- on the shelves behind it are boxes upon boxes of throat coat and herbal tea and a whole arsenal of mugs

- The house always smells like cooking food because Honey lives in the kitchen and is always cooking something or other

-When it doesn’t smell like food it smells like burning metal because Mori is always working on some sort of metal sculpture with one of his countless blowtorches 

- This boy legit keeps a fire extinguisher in his bedroom in case he sets something on fire with said blowtorch

- Christmas season is absolutely wonderful in their house

- Tamaki and Haruhi are playing Christmas songs

- Kyoya is singing them

- Honey is making all sorts of festive dishes (You should see him on Thanksgiving he goes absolutely ham (pun intended))

- Kaoru is making festive outfits

- Mori makes each and every one of their Christmas decorations

- and Hikaru is practicing his lines for the production of A Christmas Carol that he’s in every year (This is his fourth time playing Scrooge!)

- But all in all this is a house where creativity flourishes and they all boost each other’s creativity to the max

- and of course they all graduate and become extremely successful and stay close knit forever

BONUS:

- Renge is also a vocalist she performs with Kyoya very often

- Kasanoda is a ballet student

- People are surprised he does something so graceful and elegant because he looks scary but when you really think about it it fits his personality 

- Nekozawa is a poet (Edgar Allan Poe 2.0)

#ouran high school host club #ouran headcanons #kyoya ootori #tamaki suoh #hikaru hitachiin #kaoru hitachiin #takashi morinozuka #mitsukuni haninozuka #ohshc au #art school au #renge houshakuji #ritsu kasanoda #umehito nekozawa #haruhi fujioka

[isthisjazz]

WORK AND ART: PIANIST NICK SANFILLIPO TALKS ABOUT THE LINE BETWEEN ART AND COMMERCE

When you go to a restaurant and see jazz musicians playing standards in the corner, you may think that they’re just there having fun. However, what is consistently overlooked is how many of these musicians are getting paid to play there as part of a full time career in music. Through my own experiences or discussions I’ve had with other musicians I sense that the general public misunderstands the role working musicians play in their lives or that there are even people out there trying to a living in music at a local level.

To help clears things up a bit, I’ll be writing a series of three articles in which I’ll be interviewing a peer of mine about their experience as a performing musician, how they balance their lives to make it happen, and if they see a delineation between playing music for art’s sake or as a job. 

For this first article I talked to pianist Nick Sanfillipo. I’ve known Nick for many years and have always been inspired by his work ethic, his relentless pursuit of his music career, and his attitude about the journey.

How long have you been a full time musician?

I've been a full time musician since I graduated college in 2008. It took a couple years before I could really consider myself "full time" as I was building my name and reputation and making contacts. 

On a typical week, how often are you playing out and with how many different ensembles do you consistently perform with?

"Typical" is a difficult word as a musician as nearly every week is different, especially comparing winter and summer months here in New England. Recently I've been averaging about 5 gigs a week, generally with 3 or 4 different groups. I have a weekly Sunday church gig, a weekly Wednesday jazz gig, Friday and Saturday night with a wedding band that plays clubs in the off season, and all those are fairly steady. In addition to a random fill in or pick up gig on one of the other nights. 

Do you supplement your income in ways other than live performance?

I teach a handful of lessons each week in addition to gigging. Realistically I do any and all aspects of what it is to be a professional musician: teaching, recording, chart writing, accompanying, etc. But performing is the majority of my work. 

How much of your schedule is normally general business, or “wallpaper” gigs versus the ones you play for fun?

Financially, the vast majority of my income is from GB gigs which are usually weddings. We also do a fair amount of clubs in the Boston area in the off season, though I would hardly call it wallpaper in that format. We rock many of the best Boston bars until close and have a good time. I've found I often have just as much fun on these gigs as some of my more musically rewarding gigs. Fun is really what you make of it, I think musically rewarding is probably a better divider for the two gigs. I'd say overall I probably have about 2/3 of my schedule as the "GB" work (a bit more than half). 

What do you see as the difference between playing music as art versus as commerce?

I enjoy what I do, and while I agree music is "art" once you start playing professionally and depend on this craft to pay your bills, it becomes more than just art. We'd all love to think that our music — whether it be original or just whatever song we happen to be playing — will be well received, or even loved, but at the end of the day we all still need to eat, and I've grown ok with the fact that not everyone will like what I do. I think a lot of musicians don't realize that many of the patrons at whatever bar/venue they're playing at, are NOT there for the music. Maybe they like the food, maybe their friend is the bartender, maybe they just randomly walked in because it was the closest place at the time. We as the musician need to remember that as a hired musician our job is to entertain the patrons of the establishment, or at the very least, not to drive them off. Unless of course you're a house hold name and selling out Madison Square Garden, then maybe you can do what you want at your show, but even then you don't want ticket sales to drop. Basically, to sum this up, it's all commerce, and yet, it can all still be art as well. 

Does it bother you to have to play the commerce gigs or do you see it as a necessary part of the job?

It really doesn't bother me. All gigs can be artistic in their own way. You can learn and grow playing anything, even the simplest thing like Mary Had a Little Lamb. Let's say you have to teach this every week to students, you can use the opportunity to strengthen your singing, your ear training, work on making every note sound perfect, work on the left hand (for pianists), work on intonation, phrasing, tonging, etc. There's always things to be taken from any and every situation. To be honest, many of my "GB" gigs are more well received — and in turn I have more fun — than the "fun" and "artistic" gigs because there's more people that want to rock out and party, than sit down and enjoy some artistic jazz. 

In what ways has life as a full time musician lived up to your expectations and what are some ways it’s different?

When I was younger I thought I was only going to play the "fun" jazz/funk gigs where I get to stretch out, take solos, and have some fun with the music. Shortly into my career I realized I couldn't support myself just doing that so I branched out and started playing more styles, specifically pop which I had mostly steered away from. But by playing these gigs that pay better it allows me to do the gigs I still really want to do. I've found that I don't mind playing "pop" and by learning how to play that material including the different "parts" in songs, it has strengthened my overall abilities both on the piano and the academic side of music theory as well. 

What’s the one thing people looking to get into a full time music career should know?

You need to be able to take the good with the bad. Not everyone will like what you do, not everyone is at the bar to see you, but as the musician we just have to do our best at all times to put out the highest quality product we can. Don't be afraid to branch out of your comfort zones because the more well rounded of a musician you are, the more you'll work! Learn EVERYTHING and don't be too proud to learn, especially the pop stuff. 

Also, make as many friends as you can, you never know which one will hit it big and take you on the road! 

Lastly, what’s one thing you wish people knew about when they see live music in a public place?

While this whole thing has pretty much been me harping on the fact that the musician is getting paid for a job and therefore needs to cater to venue’s patrons, there is absolutely a line. Patrons should be courteous enough to not come up in the middle of a song and start talking or requesting other songs. I know some people can play and hold a conversation, but I am not one of those people and I think most musicians aren't. It’s tough enough to play an instrument without someone I don’t know telling me about how their friend plays "wicked awesome guitahh” and expecting a response. When I'm on break, I'd love to hear all about it! Or worse, the person who thinks they play and wants to get up and sit in with the band. If I don't know you, and it's not a jam session, I’m almost certainly not going to let you sit in. 

Ben Shaw is a local composer, performer, and writer. Find him at benjaminshawmusic.com.

#jazz #providence #providence music #music #article #long read #interview #nick sanfillipo #jazz music #blog #writing #blogs #motif #motif magazine

[luxexhomines]

8, 9, 10, 20, 31, 41, 45, 60! (Is that too much? I'll be honest, I want all the questions on that list answered ;-;)

Ahhh, that’s not too much at all!! I’m flattered that you’d like to hear what I have to say ♡ I would like to answer all of them for you, but for the sake of not clogging up everyone’s dash, I’ll answer just the ones you’ve listed & the ones from lovely anon under the cut! If I get more asks, I’ll answer those, too, but for now, I’ll just keep it to the numbers since a hundred might be too much to scroll through, aha! 

Here we go for the Danganronpa ask meme, under the cut!! Sorry my answers are kind of long; I elaborated quite a bit. Maybe too much.Expect discourse & explicit DR1, SDR2, NDRV3 & DR3 Anime spoilers!

2. Favourite Protagonist?

Does Kaede count? Okay, I figured not... If not Kaede, then for sure Hajime Hinata. He has such spunk, and he’s such a relatable character for protagonist without being flat in the least. He also ends up representing so much more than just the force facing against the killing game and is more than the Ultimate Hope, too. He has real concerns and gets discouraged as a normal person would, which is what leads him to go for the Kamukura Project. He’s the most compelling, by far. 

8. Least favourite character?

I’m not sure if I have an exact least favorite character. I’d probably go with Hifumi or Leon. I’m not as big of a fan of the characters from Danganronpa 1. I also don’t love Maki much, at least if we’re talking canonically. Otherwise, I feel more apathetic toward her, as I do with Hifumi & Leon.

9. Least favourite class trial?

This is hard... I’m actually pretty easily creeped out/am rather sensitive, so many of the pictures/illustrations in the trials make me feel uncomfortable. I might have to say Super Danganronpa 2, Trial 3, simply for that reason. The image of Mikan standing on that stepladder with a paper bag over her head always makes me feel so creeped out. 

10. What would be your Ultimate Title?

I’m not good at anything enough to be an Ultimate, of course, but... Probably Ultimate Fan or something like that. That sounds pretty dumb, but I’m honestly a hugely supportive fan of all the content creators I follow: I send in asks often and always write in the tags, whether it’s art, fanfiction, edits–you name it. When I buy merch, I dm the artist to thank them and take pictures of the merch and post it on tumblr with my raves about how much I love it. Although I haven’t bought that much merch, as of now.I’m also just a generally incredibly supportive person whether online or in real life, so if you tell me about one of your endeavors, I’m sure to support you, ask you about it, and encourage you to update me on it. I thoroughly appreciate people fully and tend to overlook flaws and such. Otherwise, perhaps I’d be the Ultimate Chorister or something like that. 

20. Who do you think is an overrated character?

Kaito Momota. Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but I also loathe some of his actions. When he refuses to believe that the identity of the killer could possibly have been Gonta in Trial 4, I was incensed. Of course, I didn’t think Gonta could really have done it either initially, but because this is a killing game, there will always be extraordinary circumstances, and there’s little you can rely on, as even you yourself are prone to acting in abnormal ways for some reason or other. That’s just an undeniable truth and logic. And the way he wouldn’t talk to Shuichi after that trial was so childish and immature. Shuichi was revealing the truth; Kaito was trying to help him get over the fear of revealing the truth, but then in trial 4 he refuses to believe Shuichi and then won’t even look him in the eye afterward. Like, man up, Kaito. This is not Shuichi’s fault. He’s just the person who delivers the news, not the person who made them. It’s probably his canon developments that make me feel that people think of them too highly. 

31. Is there a character you think who shouldn’t have survived but did?

41. Person you’ve never expected to become a culprit but they became? (Doesn’t include Chiaki)

Kaede Akamatsu. I know, I’m big dumb, but it wasn’t just her protagonist status that warded me off–it was her tenacity and belief in protecting everyone that I thought would never allow her to kill someone, rather than that being the enabler of murder. And, yes, I know she didn’t actually kill Rantaro in the end. But she was named culprit and other than her, I’m not sure who I’d be surprised at. 

45. Unpopular opinion?

I don’t really like KaiMaki that much. Maki’s entire development arc is based on her love for Kaito and him helping her out of being closed off to everyone. I understand needing some extra help, but I resent that she needed help from a man and that she had to fall in love with the said man. I don’t think her arc could even be representative of growth, as she ended up falling back on her assassin tactics to try and resolve the situation herself in trying to save Kaito, which only further escalated the situation. I prefer Harumatsu by far over KaiMaki. Kaede is someone I could see Maki in a healthy relationship with, and someone who can guide her to a better answer for situations or problems. She’s also just as (if not more!) supportive as Kaito and has similarly positive energy without having to be a big idiot or a big strong Manly Man™.

Also, to reiterate from earlier, Kaito is a man baby. I know he’s still a high schooler and, of course, human, which explains a lot of his actions, but I also just find that part of him so difficult to condone–how contradictory he is between supporting Shuichi telling the truth to going to not being able to accept the truth and actively resisting it, and then ignoring Shuichi like a big baby. I would’ve thought of him as someone who confronts the other party, not someone who just has a cold war with the other party like that. Again, perhaps it’s just that canon was written terribly. I quite like Oumota, even though I’m not a huge fan of Kaito himself.

60. Saddest moment?

When Kokichi said, “H-How could a game...that you’re forced to play...be fun....? I had to think this game was fun to survive... I had to lie to myself!” My heart shattered into a million little pieces right then and there, and I cried. I usually don’t cry from media–games, stories, movies, books–but I cried then. Another notable moment was in the Danganronpa 3 anime when Chiaki was trying to escape but died at the end. That was so painful to watch; I think I cried then, too.

69. Choose one character which you would take with you on a trip.

Kokichi Ouma! At least, that’s my instinct. I’m sure he’d be so much fun to go on a trip with–never a boring moment with him around. I’d probably get pretty tired, though, because he’d want to go out to a ton of places and drag me around, and he’d probably also make me buy him a lot of stuff. So if not Kokichi, then maybe Nagito. He’d appreciate the travels a lot, make for an interesting conversation partner, and be considerate about managing time, energy, and money. 

70. Character you would have a sleepover with?

Kaede Akamatsu! Maybe Tenko Chabashira? You thought I was going to say Kokichi again, weren’t you? With him around, it wouldn’t even be a sleepover, so... But with Kaede or Tenko, we could probably do some fun and relaxing activities and have some compelling conversations before we go to sleep. 

100. Opinion on all the Protagonists!

I already went over Hajime in the first question so... Of course, Naegi is a cute cinnamon roll, but apart from that, his character doesn’t hold much appeal for me. I did kind of like him as I was watching the anime, but I wasn’t super attached to him or anything. And, as I stated before, Shuichi feels like a  pretty flat character to me. He’s just... a normal guy who helps out with his uncle’s little detective agency. All three of the protagonists are technically “normal,” even though Shuichi’s supposed to be the Ultimate Detective. The way he describes his uncle’s detective agency makes me think it’s just this rundown little office in some back alley that solves missing pet and adultery cases, so his detective thing is like a hobby. Apart from Hajime, who literally gets talent implanted in him, Makoto’s the only one with a talent–luck, which is very sporadic and works arbitrarily. So they’re all pretty much just your average, run-of-the-mill guys, who don’t even want to be the protagonist of the killing game and take their position rather reluctantly and passively. They have their protagonist statuses thrust upon them.

Now, as for Kaede... She not only actually has an ultimate talent as the Ultimate Pianist and makes references to it by naming piano pieces at times and describing them, but she also takes up the role of the protagonist actively by bringing together a group of high schoolers who are all strangers, attempting a dangerous road of death and despair in trying to escape and takes action toward trying to end this game. She’s basically the first and only protagonist to make a plan toward outing the mastermind before the last trial–in fact, she does so before even the first one has occurred! She makes effort to prevent any killings, not just investigate and deal with them after they’ve already happened. I have much love for her, as you might be able to tell.

#ask #lux answers #lux speaks #danganronpa ask meme #not imagines #not writing #ship discourse #discourse #spoilers #ndrv3 spoilers #sdr2 spoilers #danganronpa spoilers #dr1 spoilers #v3 spoilers #drv3 spoilers #dr3 spoilers #unpopular opinion #ask game #phoebeko

[highly-opinionated-nerd]

Homestuck marching band au

John plays keyboard in the pit. He’s pretty good, but hardly anyone can ever hear him because his speakers just aren’t loud enough. He’s been begging the director to buy new ones for years but it’ll probably never happen.

Sollux and Terezi are also in the pit. Sollux plays bassoon for concert season (a double reed instrument, in keeping with his theme), but for marching season he’s on mallet percussion. He’s quite good at it, too- he likes the parts that require two sets of mallets (again, in keeping with the theme) and will spend a lot of time and effort practicing to get them right

Terezi, blind as she is, could never hope to actually march on the field, but she still wanted to participate. So it’s the pit for her- playing mostly unpitched instruments, including crash cymbals and cowbell (her fave)

Aradia and Equius are also part of the percussion section, but on the drumline rather than in the pit- she on snare and he on quads. Equius is notorious for breaking sticks at incredible rates.

Jade and Eridan both play flute, although Eridan switches over to oboe for concert season. Neither of them is very good, unfortunately- Jade just can’t get the hang of playing and moving at the same time, no matter how hard she tries, and Eridan just can’t be bothered to put in too much effort

Nepeta plays Bb clarinet, and is known throughout the band for being unnaturally good at traverses. Jane plays bass clarinet, and is usually complaining about being drilled half a field away from anyone playing the same part as her.

Dave is an alto sax player. He’s a good enough marcher, and does well enough in concert season, but his true passion is jazz. He excels at improv- not only does he have an innate gift for it, he really enjoys it.

Dirk, on the other hand...he switches back and forth between tenor and bari sax as needed, and he also dabbles in jazz. But he doesn’t have Dave’s gift of improvisation. He knows all the theory backwards and forwards, but somehow he just can’t get the hang of it. But, give him a written-out part, no matter how difficult, and he’ll master it. He’s very very good with technical work.

Karkat plays trumpet. The director has to remind him almost daily to play softer, and not to stick out from the ensemble sound. He has a lot of struggles, and gets frustrated a lot, but at the end of the day he takes it very seriously.

Caliborn would be a trumpet too. There’s really no other place I could put him. His whole personality screams trumpet.

Vriska is a hornist. She and Karkat get into a lot of arguments as to which instrument is better. Her marching mellophone is an old silver one, which the school has owned for years and years. It’s a little dented and beat up, but she loves that horn.

As for low brass, Jake is a trombonist and Gamzee is a tuba player. Jake is also the type to dabble in jazz and do really well at improv- he operates on a ‘you just have to feel it’ type of basis, and doesn’t like to be constrained by time signatures or keys, but he gets along in the ensemble well enough. Gamzee, skinny and lanky as he is, hefts up that sousa like it weighs nothing, and never complains about having boring bassline parts. In fact, he prefers them. This kid was born to play a support instrument.

Feferi plays clarinet during concert season, and is very good at it, but everyone knows that it would be futile to try to convince her to play it for marching. She’s captain of the color guard, and that’s where her true passion lies. Flags, sabres, rifles, all of it- she makes every toss and every catch look so easy, even when she’s drenched in sweat from running all over the field, and she always has a huge smile on her face.

The marching band kids occasionally hang out with some of the other music kids from their school’s other various ensembles. There’s the orchestra kids- Rose the somewhat-snobby violinist, Tavros the cripplingly-shy violist, and Calliope the eager cellist. There’s the choir kids, too- Kanaya the reserved alto and Roxy the mezzo who everyone knows will grow up to have a wonderfully successful career in musical theater.

And, of course, there’s the director himself- a man who quite possibly has no idea what he’s doing, and often leaves the kids to their own devices (way more often than he should, really). A man who is just as surprised as you are that they actually manage to sound and look as good as they do out on the field. Just your average high school teacher....Mr. Hussie. Not that the kids never call him that. He’s just Hussie, or just Andrew, or even sometimes just Huss. He was a pianist in school who only got his teaching certificate as a backup, and has no idea how he ended up here, but it’s too late to back out now

#lest we forget: #I was in marching band for 7 years #so yes these are accurate #I'm enjoying myself IMMENSELY over here with this #homestuck #my ficlet #(?) #I want to do more with this one day #we'll see I guess

[midnight-circus]

alphabetical OC meme

filled this out for Lord Asshole bc i cant write anything so i may as well fill in questionnaires instead

also numerous numbers and at least one section were missing when i copied it so idk what happened there

under the cut bc its Long As Hell

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? // Independence lmao. He could get through his whole life relying entirely on himself if need be. He wouldn’t be happy, but he’d survive. He’s also naturally intellectual and has never had to try very hard in academia.

2. what activities have they participated in? // literally what does this mean. Safe to say he’s not exactly playing team sports.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? // He’s had to work extremely hard to shed the bad habits learnt whilst growing up in a white aristocratic dysfunctional family. Other than that, he’s a talented pianist – the only thing his mother was ever proud of. Also sending work-emails that don’t make him sound like a total dick. still working on that tbh

4. what things are they bad at? // Honestly, anything creative. He’s very intelligent but has absolutely no artistic talent, and he’s not at all imaginative – creating something out of nothing when it doesn’t have a logical or scientific basis is pretty beyond him.

5. what is their most impressive talent? // In his original AU, and any fantasy AUs I force him kicking and screaming into, swordsmanship. He’s pretty untouchable with a blade.

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color?// Dark brown, close to black.

2. what is their eye color? // Also dark brown.

3. how tall are they? // 6’2

4. how old are they? // He fluctuates depending on the AU, but his default base-age is 34.

5. how much do they weigh? // Generally between 150-180lbs, depending on his age, eating habits and mental state. When he’s going through stress, his eating and sleeping patterns are the first to nosedive.

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair? // His posture leaves a lot to be desired. He slouches pretty badly, and to be honest his height makes it difficult to get comfortable in most regular chairs. He also manspreads, though to be fair his legs are about 3 miles long and it’s hard to know where to put them honestly

2. in what position do they sleep? // Either on his side or his front. Never on his back.

4. what is their major comfort food? why? // oh man sugar. His eating habits aren’t good at the best of times, but when he’s feeling Mentally Ill he’s prone to 4am binges of as much sugar as conceivably possible in one sitting. He then goes for a 5am run until he throws up, so yknow. all nice and healthy.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down? // Elrick. Gross. Also Kat, to be fair.

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? // He’s very fond of Nordic design and tries to keep vibrancy to a minimum, because he’s a boring bitch. Light walls, dark woods, pretty stylish furniture but no chrome Thank You Very Much; accent colours would probably be dark blues or greens. Plants, but only if he doesn’t have to water them because he Will forget and they Will all die. He’s also anal as fuck and despises mess and disorder, which makes living with Elrick fuckin interesting to say the least.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room? // however they wanted as long as it wasn’t pastels bc a man has to draw the line somewhere

3. how do they decorate their own room? // muted, calm, maybe a little regency – he accessorises more in the bedroom than he does in the rest of the house, gold accents here and there, that sort of thing. Less austere, more opulent. At the end of the day, he’s from an aristocratic background, however unhealthy his upbringing was – he can never quite shed the appreciation for luxe.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? // He dresses well – very put-together, if very monochrome. He doesn’t do casual very well and will avoid jeans unless he has no other choice. He would quite literally rather die than wear shorts. As for colours, generally blacks, greys, dark jewel-tones (maroons, dark greens, dark purples, etc). Very rarely light colours, and if he does wear light tones he layers them – a white shirt under a dark leather jacket, for example. As for accessories, he stays simple with a decent watch (Patek Phillipe, thanks, none of this Rolex bullshit) and two rings (wedding ring and onyx signet ring – family heirloom, the only one he has). He knows how to dress to suit himself.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? // >:[  

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality? // For the most part. How he behaves has been moulded over many years by how he thinks and feels, and it’s hard to shed the habits of a lifetime. EG, he’s very neurotic and it does have an impact on his organisation – if his mental state slips into decline, so too does his command over his surroundings and his ability to keep things on track.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm? // Again, for the most part. A key element of his upbringing was the overbearing sense of being watched, being judged, being on display; one behaves the way one is expected to behave, and one never deviates from that path. Obviously he fucked that one right up when he started putting dicks in his mouth, but it still remains something of a mantra.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing? // Neither, really. He doesn’t follow trends because he’s actually 70 years old and doesn’t know what they are, but nor is he particularly unconventional. He does his own thing because he has no idea what anybody else is currently doing.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads? // oh god no. he has a twitter account but the last time he used it he got drunk and tweeted at jeremy paxman that he was a cunt so he doesn’t really engage with it very much

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own? // People are left to figure it out. He doesn’t go out of his way to make friends or advertise his personality – he’s friendly when he needs to be, but is not the sort of person to go out actively socialising.

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature? // His height makes him pretty popular and he knows how to dress well. He also has that particular ‘tall, thin, dark hair, pale skin, heroin-addict-esque’ chic that some people tend to go for. He doesn’t really get it, himself.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality? // He’s witty in a very dry way – a little sharper than run-of-the-mill sarcasm.

3. what benefits come with being their friend? // Ok honestly? Money lmao. idk man you’d have to ask Kat bc she’s the only one who’s lasted this long

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike? // Though he projects an aura of self-assurance, he really doesn’t like very much about himself; his upbringing and unhealthy relationship with Catholicism did a number of his self-esteem. He’s proud of his intellect and knows he is smarter than the average person, but other than that, not a great deal.

5. what parts of others do they envy? // General happiness. He’s a melancholy person by nature and doesn’t tend to feel a swell of positive emotions for no reason – he can’t help but feel there’s something inherently wrong in his brain.

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room? // n e i t h e r bitch his internal temperature must remain on an even keel at all times. Probably cold, if he was forced to pick.

2. do they prefer summer or winter? // Winter because it means he can wear layers

3. do they like the snow? // yes but he’ll never admit it. he finds it romantic. that must never be repeated.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity? // lying in front of the fridge cursing God

5. do they have a favorite winter activity? // coffee dates. Independent coffee shops, mind you – fuck Sbux.

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality? // Gay

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality? // he spent more than half his teen years wishing he was straight

3. have they ever questioned their gender? // No

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT? // mother denies it completely, father kicked him out, brother doesn’t give a shit bc he’s bi as hell himself

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out? // He was forced out at 16 when he was caught with a boyfriend in the boathouse of Darlington estate – it marked the end of an already abusive parental relationship. To be honest, it’s hard to say if he would have ever had the courage to come out himself.

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy? // Feeling loved. He got very little of that in his youth.

2. who makes them happy? // Elrick has an uncanny ability. Who’d have thought it.

3. are there any songs that bring them joy? // He particularly loves Dancing in the Dark by Springsteen, and All Along the Watchtower by Hendrix. Neither are very joyful songs, granted, but they’re two of his favourites.

4. are they happy often? // He’s contented often, and he enjoys his life. ‘Happy’, though? Not sure.

K: Kill 1. have they ever thought about suicide? // More than once.

2. have they ever thought about homicide? // Not with any real intent. In a modern AU, anyway – can’t say the same for any of his other incarnations.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? // Way deep down somewhere, he’d be tempted to say his father.

4. who would miss them if they died? // More people than he knows.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone? // lmao the tax agency probably. His father wouldn’t be happy, per se, but perhaps it would solve a problem.

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit? // Black cherries.

2. what is their least favorite fruit? // fuck bananas, honestly

3. are there any foods they hate? // Peanut butter can die, and also asparagus can also die.

4. do they have any food intolerances?  // Not that he knows of.

5. what is their favorite food? // Probably Thai or Korean.

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son? // He technically has a son already. Kat wanted a child and she trusted Logan above an anonymous donor, so one stressful jack-off session, a weird experience with a baster and eight months later, Rowan showed up early.  Logan technically has no parental responsibilities or rights, but he’s involved in Rowan’s life nonetheless. And then there’s Bastian, whose own father leaves a Little To Be Desired in the emotional department, let’s say, so ultimately he winds up taking on that role as well.

2. how many children do they want? // One’s enough, ta, and that one doesn’t even live with him. In seriousness, he’s always idly thought about children in his life, but not with any real seriousness – he plays his role with Rowan well and he’s a great uncle to Bastian, but kids wouldn’t suit his and Elrick’s lifestyle.  

3. would they be a good parent? // Yeah, he probably would.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter? // Demetrius or Victor for a boy, Ophelia for a girl. How else will people know he’s a pretentious bitch?

5. would they adopt? // Nah

O: Optimism 1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? // Total pessimist.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others? // No and he cannot stand it when other people force optimism into entirely inappropriate situations.

3. are they good at giving advice? // lmao not unless it’s legal advice. Then yes, absolutely. Just don’t cry on his kitchen floor.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them? fukkin Katherine. She’s the only one allowed to get away with it.  

5. were they always optimistic/pessimistic? // Yeah, he was a pretty dour, anxious little kid from the start.

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait? // From a professional perspective, he’s extremely clear-headed and analytical, and it serves him very well as a criminal prosecution lawyer – there’s not much that slips by him, and he can spot a loophole coming a mile away.

2. what is their worst personality trait? // He’s … difficult to get along with, for a lot of people. Not nasty as such, but he’s sharp-tongued and quite quick to anger in situations outside of his job, particularly when stressed. He also has a tendency to look down on people (particularly people who aren’t considered ‘smart’ by his standards) and let’s be real, he’s pretty classist – it takes him a long time to come to terms with Bastian’s relationship with Fabian. Elrick is more than happy to call him out on this.

3. what of their personality do others love? // Didn’t we already do this?

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities? // god he cannot abide people who aren’t punctual oh GOD he hates people who aren’t punctual

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help? // Not unless he’s literally dying

2. do they ask questions in class? // to be honest, he generally didn’t need to

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable? // Depends on the context, but he generally tries to avoid giving out personal information.

4. do they ask weird questions? // He keeps his weird questions to himself and Googles them later.

5. are they curious? // By nature. It was curiosity that got him into the godawful mess he ended up in re: his source material.

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules? // Generally yeah, aside from the occasionally joint now and then. Although saying that, he does run very much on his own moral code, so I suppose he follows rules as long as he agrees with the sense and logic behind them.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent? // It’s odd, his instinct is to be strict but he would also loathe the thought of being anything like his father, so he might swing entirely the other way in an attempt to avoid that. Hard to say. He definitely wouldn’t be like … a fun, playful parent because that’s just not in his nature, but it’s possible he’d relax his own rules significantly. Although he is fairly strict with Rowan, it’s for Rowan’s benefit - he needs rules and boundaries to be comfortable, and Logan’s not a traditional ‘father’ in that case anyway.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule? // he was ‘consequenced’ pretty fuckin badly for daring to kiss a boy

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking? // oh god probably, he has more regrets than he can count

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous? // He’s not got a lot of time nor respect for people who follow rules totally blindly without having some sense of self-critique.

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart? // Depends on the AU, but for the most part he’s too privileged.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets? // no because he’s actually horrible

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets? // No, but he has gotten in a fight in a bar. Kat will not let him forget it.

5. are they cautious when out? // A little paranoid, perhaps, but it doesn’t stop him.

T: Truth 1. are they honest? // define ‘honest’

2. can they tell if someone is lying? // Yes, it’s literally his job.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying? // Nope. He’s a consummate liar.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about? // he lied and told Elrick that yes, he’d had sex before their first time, and then regretted it twenty minutes later when they were forced to stop because he almost died. it's fine. they worked it out

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will? // not really – he plays his cards very close to his chest. Nothing gets out if he doesn’t want it to.

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied? // Only by his parents.

2. have they bullied anyone? // Not directly to anyone’s face, but he’s definitely made some unpleasant comments.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully? // If his father counts, yes.

4. have they ever been doubted? // Only from ages 2 to 34.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something? People don’t tend to expect the piano-playing, somehow.

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often? // what is this question set. Incidentally, yes – he has a problem with running until he’s exhausted and tends to vomit after that.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches? // no?? I guess not???

3. are they good at comforting someone ill? // lol he could be better. His levels of sympathy leave a little to be desired.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes? // he doesn’t, really. He generally dislikes being fussed over too much and denies he is sick until he’s unable to stand up, at which point he’s forced to accept it whether he likes it or not.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting? // what is this question ASKING

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water? // Actually probably yes – it’s one of the few healthy habits he has.

2. have they learned to swim? // yes

3. do they like to swim? // ehhhhh he can take it or leave it

4. can they dive? // he went to an expensive private school of course he can dive

5. can they swim without holding their nose? // yes

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music? // Classic rock – nothing after 1989, thanks.

2. do they have a favorite song? // Hendrix’s Watchtower is up there, as mentioned, along with Don’t Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. He has favourite playlists, rather than favourite songs.

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer? Blue Oyster Cult in general is a favourite, as is Black Sabbath and Springsteen.

4. can they sing well? He does ok. His voice isn’t fuckin Grammy material or anything, but he can hold a note.

5. can they rap? lmao

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them? // lol

2. what inspired you to create them? // LOL

3. were they different when they were first created? // oh god yeah. Prototype!Logan was a fucking mess, he’s undergone some serious reworking since the early days.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters? // he’s my comfort-zone, honestly.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them? // his internal monologue of disdain suddenly being interrupted by Oppressively Gay Thoughts

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal? // He likes watching birds, but only from a distance.

2. do they like animals? // Nah, he’s really not much of an animal person. Loud and messy, for the most part.

3. cats or dogs? // Cats, if he has to pick.

4. what’s their dream pet? // A taxidermised one.

5. do they have any pets at the moment? // A Birman cat named Saskia. It’s the only animal in the entire world that he loves. He doesn’t like cats – he likes his cat.

#logan1

[anything-advice-blog]

Switching Majors/Career Change

Okay, I’ve asked people who actually know me for advice on this, but honestly, I don’t think it’s really helping, so here I am… I have a little over a week to figure this all out, but to be honest, I feel like I know the answer but I’m just too scared to go through with it.

This is a long explanation because I just don’t know what I’m doing, so please bear with me if you can.

I used to play the piano for over 10 years until I stopped officially taking lessons senior year of high school. I started getting relatively intense muscle pains (spasms that got to the point where I wasn’t able to sit up to get out of bed) toward the end of high school, and that stopped me from playing comfortably. Granted, those muscle pains have still been going on, but there’s not much I can do now for health insurance reasons.

Academically, I’ve gotten As my whole life, I graduated in the top 1% of my high school with honors, I ended up getting a full scholarship to an engineering college (after the fact, I feel like I only applied there because my demographic meant I had a higher chance of getting scholarships+I felt like my parents had expectations for my future career). In fewer words, I used to be as close to a perfectionist as I could be.

Anyway, I started off majoring in computer science. I realized that I hated the idea of doing that the rest of my life one month in. I knew I wanted to change my major, and the first thing I thought of was majoring in piano studies/performance, but then I caved in to other people’s+my family’s suggestions and ended up trying to transfer to economics because I just had a bad feeling about majoring in a science/engineering field. But because of school policy, I wasn’t able to change majors until sophomore year, and my GPA tanked while I waited. Because my GPA was so miserable (it still is), I wasn’t able to transfer out of the engineering school, so I was stuck with a handful of engineering options. I ended up changing my major to biology in my second year, trying to trick myself into thinking that going to medical school was a good idea. It was more like trying to sign myself up for a 13-year distraction, and I realized that halfway through sophomore year. I wasn’t able to raise my GPA- it just kept getting lower and lower, and I failed basic mechanics. Twice. Yep, we’re talking about the same student that went so far as quantum mechanics in high school. All my other grades are average at best, and I feel myself doing worse and worse. It’s gotten to the point where on the surface, I’m caring less and less about what happens, but underneath it, I have this anxious feeling about whether I’ll be able to graduate on time and about not wasting my parents’ money.

I want to say that I don’t know why I’m doing so badly in college, but every time someone mentions the idea of doing something they love, I think about how happy I used to be when I played the piano and it makes me feel like crying. I try to forget it and keep on doing my work, but I just feel empty. I can’t express my emotions normally anymore (people have gone so far as to call me a sociopath… and I can see why they’d think that), and I feel like a part of me has just… kind of died. People keep suggesting that I should try to work harder so I can get a job that pays well because I’ve already gotten this far and logically speaking, it makes sense. I know that getting a degree in piano studies or piano performance will rarely ever lead to a lucrative career (okay, it sounds like I’m obsessed with money- I don’t think I am really, it’s just that I feel hyper-aware of how much my parents have invested in me, both in terms of time and money, and I feel the need to ‘pay them back’ for everything they’ve done for me), and since I’m already in my 3rd year of university and I’ve barely taken enough classes to transfer over to a piano degree, I feel like it’s too late.

I rambled on about that a little too much and I probably gave too many details, but here’s my problem: I know what makes me happy, but I don’t know if it’ll make me happy in the long run. At the very least, I know it’ll make me happier than I am with my current career path, at least for the next 10 years. I miss being able to actually do something with how I feel, I miss being on a stage, I miss being recognized for something that I was really, truly good at. I just don’t know if that’s enough for me to leave everything I have and go with it.

This sounds like it must be incredibly stressful. My first question for you – how good of a player do you think you are right now? It seems that you took a break, and piano at the college-level is not something to be taken lightly. If you were to go back, or if you did go back, how much did you retain? On another note, if you were to go in that direction, what would you like to do? Become a professional pianist? Write songs? Work with famous musicians? Teach music? There are many opportunities in that field, but you’re right that they are not the most well-paid, and it’s hard to reach success.

Choosing the path for your future requires a lot of reflection. First of all, make a pros and cons list, which may look something like this, depending on what it is you’re looking for:

Biology/Computer Science

Pros:

·        Well paid

·        Abundant jobs in the field

Cons:

·        It makes you very unhappy

Piano

Pros:

·        You love it

·        You’ll have a flexible schedule

Cons:

·        It’s a risky path

Then you can take a look at your options. Of course, since your parents are paying it, you need to sit down and have a discussion with them. Let them know how you’re feeling, ask what their expectations are for you, and go over all the options. I don’t know what your parents are like, but I hope you’re able to communicate effectively with them.

If it were me, I would take a year off of college. I would try to investigate more career options. Maybe you can minor in business or science, just as a backup. Or, if you think you can do it, you can double major! Languages, mathematics, biological sciences, physical sciences, social sciences, communication, psychology, business, and technology are the most common majors taken with music. This would probably be the most favorable option, but maybe not the most realistic. Regardless, I would take a gap year.

During a gap year, you can work in the piano field. These jobs are mostly freelance, such as tutoring or performing at an event. Still, it builds up a great resume and allows you to have a taste of what the career is like. This way, you will probably also make great connections! Alternatively, you can take free or cheap classes in different areas to see if there’s anything you like. You can take this time to figure yourself out, strengthen your relationships, and achieve any other goals you’ve had. It’s never too late or too early to take a break, and it seems that the stress is having an effect on your grades, which won’t benefit anyone in the end.

I know that not everyone is in a situation where they can afford to take a gap year, and I may not be the best-qualified person to give you this advice, but I really hope I was able to help you out.

Let us know what you decide!  We’ll support you!

Best of luck,

Iris

#iris #anything advice blog #advice #majors #careers #change #switching

[littlemissgeek8]

For the ask thing, Tiffany, Jenny, Deborah, AJ, Kenny, Adam, and Lachappa

Welp, this took ages. Sorry about that ^^;;;;. Some of the asks I answered elsewhere so here’s Tiffany, Deborah, and AJ

The rest are going under a cut b/c it’s looooooong.

Jenny

First impression:I found her kind of boring, honestly. ^^;; Her stats weren’t ones that reallygrabbed me, she wasn’t skilled in repair or speed, and hiding just reallywasn’t my thing.

Impression now: Evenif she’s not my fave, I really do like Jenny, and not just for the chances I’vehad to write her outside of the game. She’s got probably one of my favoriteoutfits (the fairy princess one :3), she’s surprisingly good as a mediccharacter, and tossing a decent Marathon perk on her compensates for her lowstamina. She may not be very fast or smart, but when played well she can be areal pain in the butt for Jason. XD

Favorite moment:For Jenny, it’s probably another moment from when I was primarily doingquickplay games with random people. I spawned in on Packanack Lodge down at thebottom of the map, all alone with a boat escape. While the rest of the team ranaround fighting over the car and the cops, I managed to hunt down the parts forthe boat and repair it completely (and I think it may have been perfectrepairs) and got out on my own while Jason was distracted chasing people at thepolice exit. That was basically the moment I realized I could repair as Jennyand do a good job with it, provided Jason gave me enough time to work. XD

Idea for a story:I’m toying with the idea of a side story for Legacy, involving what exactly washappening with Jenny during the majority of the story… but again, I don’t wantto go into a lot of details because A: spoilers and B: I don’t know if I’ll getto it at any point. XD

Unpopular opinion:Um… her voice is obnoxious? Not really an unpopular opinion I think, but it’sthe best I got. Love ‘ya, Jen, but you need to stop shrieking.

Favorite relationship:Jenny and Chad, obviously. I’m really not entirely sure how I ended up shippingit, but gosh it’s just so cute somehow. Platonically, I see her being reallygood friends with pretty much all the counselors, since Jenny’s just that kind of person who’s basicallyeverybody’s mom friend.

Favorite headcanon:Jenny the Mom Friend, basically. XD She’s the one who’s always ready withsnacks or hot drinks or a shoulder to cry on, or even just ready to storm outthere and give a stern talking to whomever started picking on her friends.

Kenny

First impression:Honesty I thought he was boring. ^^;;;; Largely due to the whole “five in allstats” thing. Since he wasn’t really good at anything, I couldn’t really pinhim down and so just wrote him off as boring.

Impression now:Gosh Kenny’s a cutie. XD His average stats make him easy to tweak into whateverbuild you want to try, and he can actually be a really good addition to theteam! (At least before Jason got his heelies and became super-speedy-jason-6000and ruined the ability to play as anything other than a high-speed characterbecause only Chad, Tiffany and Vanessa can run fast enough to not dieimmediately.) He just feels like an all-around great guy and I’ve reallyenjoyed playing him.

Favorite moment:Hm, again I’m having a hard time pinning down a specific time. I think therewas one round where we had a massive battle at the phone box on the main Lodgeat Higgins Haven, and if I remember right I spent most of my time as Kenny body-blockingthe box or stunning Jason when he tried to break it, but it’s been a while.

Idea for a story:Wellll….. not to give anything away, but I do have a short story I’m working on….>.> featuring Kenny pretty heavily….

Unpopular opinion:I honestly don’t see him as gay? I really don’t mean to offend anyone with this and I don’t have an issue with anyone headcanoning it,I promise. I just… don’t. He reminds me wayyyy too much of a character from my previousfandom who had the fandom treat him the exactsame way because he wore plaid and did engineering stuff as well as being atalented pianist and artist so y’know, let’sstereotype the character that canonically flirts with more women than any ofhis brothers. It’s a super sore spot for me because the whole situation waskinda rough for one of my friends who had a really strong muse for thecharacter, and the fact that it’s happening to ANOTHER character the exact same waykind of frustrates me. Like, headcanon what y’all want but for me at least, I just don’t see it.

Favorite relationship:I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for him and Tiffany at this point. I don’t knowif I’d call their relationship exactly healthy,much like with Chad and Jenny, but at the same time I’m a bit of a sucker forthe “ladykiller in love” trope (or whatever you’d call it if the girl’s the onewho’s a lot more flirtatious than the guy. XD) I also really love the idea ofKenny, Adam and AJ being a really tight-knit group of friends, and Kennyprobably gets along really well with Jenny too.

Favorite headcanon:He’s a bit uptight. Super charming and everything when he’s in “Head CounselorMode” and being friendly with parents and/or kids, but actually running thecamp can make him come across as somewhat neurotic. But on the other side, he’ssuper sweet and kind of a dorky romantic guy who probably serenades Tiffany withhis guitar when he has the chance. X3

Adam

First impression:The whole “edgy,” “biker-y” thing wasn’t really the type of character I’m drawnto, but I didn’t hate him. Like a lot of the characters, I was kind of “meh” onhim in general. Also the lack of stealth really wasn’t my thing for a long time.

Impression now: Ilike him a lot, even if I don’t get to play him much. And honestly,mechanically, he’s not really my best character to play as, especially since he’ssuper noisy and now can’t even run away from Jason at a full sprint. Butcharacter-wise? He’s pretty fun to work with. X3

Favorite moment:Again, really not sure I have one; I barely play him since the random selectiondoesn’t give him to me often, and I rarely pick him since there’s othercharacters I’m better at playing.

Idea for a story:Wellllll, he’s in the short story I’ve been picking at lately… though I don’treally have any stories in mind for Adam specifically. Again, he’s one of thosecharacters I like using as a best friend/side character.

Unpopular opinion:I dunno, I don’t see him as being quite the “tough, rough, bad-boy” some peopledo? Like, yeah he’s got the hair and the leather and stuff, but I feel like he’sa lot more “tough on the outside (especially to bullies) and sweet on theinside” than anything else.

Also I actually like him and AJ being a couple, which seemsto be a somewhat unpopular opinion.

Favorite relationship:Well, AJ mostly, since it’s canon. XD And cute. I do like him and Kennybeing really good friends, and probably the voices of reason in the camp, Adamespecially. (Kenny can be a bit intense as I write him, while Adam’s a lotmellower.)

Favorite headcanon: Iguess since he doesn’t have any confirmed backstory, I kind of really like Adambeing Italian (specifically Sicilian) since his last name is. Also that Adam’sthe cool, laid-back counselor that all the kids think is the Absolute Coolest.

Eric

Y’all had to do it tome, didn’t you?

First impression:I didn’t like him. Out of the entire cast, Eric’s the only one who hasn’tspoken to me at all. Like, at all. He’skind of the epitome of the kind of character I end up feeling very “thank youbut no” about.

Impression now:Nothing has changed. I don’t like him really at all. I don’t like playing ashim because even with a slightly higher strength, he’s still a much worse formof Deborah who can’t run worth anything. And he literally doesn’t speak to mecreatively at all.

Favorite moment:I don’t know, maybe the one time I was in a group and managed to stay away fromJason for like, 5 minutes? The Jason admitted to toying with us, but it was oneof the few times I felt like I wasn’t a huge useless burden as Eric.

Idea for a story:Literally none, he doesn’t speak to me at all.

Unpopular opinion: Idon’t get the meme-ness of him, or understand why people like him at all. Ijust frustrated with people acting like he’s some kind of awesome characterwhen he’s just… really, really not.

Favorite relationship:I don’t have one. I don’t even have friendshipones for him. I think he might have a crush on Deborah but yeah, that ain’tgoing anywhere in my stories.

Favorite headcanon:Uh, that he’s in charge of the radio? Look, I got nothing. I gave him the jobof introducing the radio to Deborah in my story to give him something to do, I literallydon’t have any feeling other than complete apathy at best when it comes to Eric.

#friday the 13th #f13game #friday the 13th the game #friday the 13th game #kenny riedell #jenny myers #adam palomino #eric lachappa #headcanons #this took ages and i'm exhausted #i'm sorry #hope this isn't a horrible set of answers for y'all #Anonymous