#i never get tired of playing it and the fact that the sequel exists brings me so much joy cuz i get to see everybody living their best lives

[openworldracingonxboxone]

Open world racing on Xbox One

SnowRunner

The series' "progression from snow to mud" shows Saber Interactive's adoration for physics-based surface driving games. It is an enjoyable but challenging game title that takes patience and time. When I tow a trailer larger than my vehicle, I underestimate how deep a patch of sand is and then firmly bury my vehicle and the payload into it. While I think about what options I have, the idea comes to mind: "Am I, honestly, having a good time here?" Although it may appear to many as a good opportunity to give up and play other games, this may be where SnowRunner shines. a relaxing yet tactical delivery simulator, it's not intended for those who are quick and easily distracted. The fun lies in dropping off your payload; the additional fun is exploring the diverse and dangerous terrain while you travel.It was, admittedly, my fault that I underestimated the sand depth, but that's not the main point. SnowRunner was designed around this; its raison d'être is to meet these criteria. It's certainly not a fast-paced game title, but that's the reason I enjoy it. Don't forget to put chains on your tires, and we'll figure out why.

SnowRunner is a large video game set across three very different climates and regions that reveals a trade that many of us have almost certainly never considered properly before. Set in two American locales, Michigan and Alaska, together with the Russian region of Taymyr, each region brings its own set of problems and tasks, as well as differing weather and terrain requirements to conquer.

If you are not aware of Saber's hauling heritage, SnowRunner is a sequel to Spintires, which by itself branched out into Mudrunner on consoles along with a PC or laptop. The game series has been in existence since 2013 when MudRunner was the very first console game to be released in the year 2017. Although it didn't get an impressive review score, it did gain a strong enough following to warrant an update of some kind, which has improved some of the criticisms. It's also more straightforward to look at. SnowRunner, in contrast to Spintires and MudRunner, appears to be vibrant and green with its varied surroundings and seasons. Because I used to be so distracted by my surroundings, there have been a few times when I've gotten stuck on something.A single thing that you'll see as you travel through the three locations, which all offer four distinct regions to discover and explore, is that despite the lovely-looking landscapes, you will discover no one else in the world. It is not necessary to pass any other vehicles, observe any townspeople, or listen to any radio stations. It truly is a bare universe, which is a great way to emphasize the fact that this game is all about automobiles and what you accomplish with them. The element is that, once you're rolling, you're not going to worry. If the appearance and lifelike physical terrain come at the cost of definitely not being able to see any other visitors, that is amazing to me personally. Saber has concentrated all of his efforts on creating eye-catching mud and snowflakes, and are you going to be able to appreciate the results? In addition, other vehicles would simply get in the way if you were wishing to surf a massive trailer around an uphill, hairpin area. Everyone doesn't want to deal with that.

Consumers could buy cheap games.

There may not be any broadcast stations or music for the background to hear, but that is not a dealbreaker. If you don't mind not listening to music, you can turn on your sound. You will discover no dialogue or tale that you will be missing. SnowRunner is a game that focuses on exciting experiences and escapades. It truly is a trucker's Breath of the Wild.SnowRunner will scrape that very same free-form scratch whether you're an escort trying to reach the ultimate of each viewpoint in Assassin's Creed or driving from one side of Forza Horizon to the other, then from one Forza Horizon Map to another just for fun. The main variation would be the fact that it is organized and relentless, and you'll soon be crying at the realization that you may have walked a set of planks to the wrong spot.

It's not supposed to be fun, but in all honesty, There are times when it isn't, but its predecessor, MudRunner, has taught us brilliance in a game that pits you not only against the features but ultimately against your current car and you personally.SnowRunner enhances and rehabilitates its strengths while exaggerating its weaknesses, wresting the video game into a more distinct style, removing the tiniest edge from the level, and providing us with a sliver of cute sunshine in the brighter western world setting.

Consumers could buy cheap PS4 Games.

Therefore, you're driving. You start the game with the plucky Chevy pickup truck and then take to the path. One of the first things you are going to detect is that this is an actual driving recreation that isn't played the same way as any other driving game you've ever played. The wheels don't simply point in the direction your analog stick is pointing; it's important to nudge them all around and back. If you hold them with just your left or right hand, you'll swerve along a path, then into a ravine or a mud pit from which you'll never be able to escape.

Need for Speed Heat

The Need for Speed franchise has been on a long and luxurious journey across numerous gaming system generations. Although it appeared to have hit a minor snag when Builder Soul Games took over the series' mantle, Need for Speed appears to be returning to its former glory. The newer game title, Heat, consists of precisely what has made this game series stand out from other auto-racing games on different game consoles. It features a brand new story in Miami-style Palm City that pits street racers against cops. This up-to-date free-roaming racing game supplies similar gameplay but with a more elegant style of driving that is among the most thrilling racing games of 2019.

Although an open-world racing game is nothing new in this day and age, the new Need for Speed packs a world full of racing events and activities to complete, as well as a plethora of treasures. For Heat, Palm City will act as the hub that hosts all of the events, and that center is accessible by a player on their own, offline or online. The universe is filled with races that can be triggered by getting to the location of the icon on the map, similar to the game Forza Horizon 4. Alongside the various race events, mainly the multi-lap "circuit" happenings and the one-way "sprint events," you will discover advertisements to smash through, flamingos to run over, and create models to discover. Velocity and drift gates also appear on the track, providing the racers with a variety of possibilities to invest in. The story plot is ready in Palm City, a vast open world with many locales accepting guidance from the likes of Miami, Florida. Motorsports are generally a cultural phenomenon, generating a ton of ardor in the news. However, as the evening hours approach, it can quickly escalate into something more dangerous and time-consuming for police officers to deal with. Street racing, which is truthfully illegal, is at an all-time high, prompting officers from Palm City Police to create an agency specifically to crack down on it.

During your playthrough, move through the afternoon and compete in sanctioned races to earn money. In the evening, you can take part in street races. That is where you put your name on the map and gain a reputation. This rep indicates that you are gaining experience points and moving up in your current profile. The more you earn, the more levels you gain; higher Rep stages give access to brand-new cars and spare parts for buying.

After a short review of the narrative, you will be thrown straight into a high-intensity street race on a fooled-out Polestar. You're already cruising at speeds of over 100 mph as you travel through different regions of the world. As you race through the city at high speeds, keep an eye out for traffic. This might be an arcade-style auto-racing game, so you're able to smash into other vehicles or walls without requiring a damaging effect on the auto's efficiency. In the first race, this game offers anyone the essentials, like which key stands for the brakes and gas, the best way to try the nitrous, and the right way to properly turn. It's very easy to ignore the signs; however, it's great that it does a good job of presenting that for perhaps inexperienced players. The holds are extremely precise, with the option of tuning them to your current personal preferences. They responded just as anticipated.

There's no penalty for driving on the wrong side of the entire path, for taking a wrong turn, or for destroying the fences and signs everywhere--that is until the police arrive. You're attempting to win your race, and now you're dealing with an external factor that is attempting to weigh you down and imprison you. This is an excellent example of how exciting and extraordinary the race can become in NFS Heat. This truly is only the evening experience component of the video game.

#SnowRunner #Need for Speed Heat

[heyyyharry]

Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

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Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

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“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Wildest Dream - Jessie Fleming

Inspiration for this was the the song - Wildest Dream by Thomas Gold, Kosling and Matthew Steeper and I highly recommend listening to it while reading this I suppose. Also warning this is very long so be prepared. Hope you enjoy!!!

"Y/n! C'mon!"

The small 7 year stops running and hunches over hands on her knees panting heavily as she watches her best friend run in front of her. The small freckled faced girl stops running as she turns back to her tired friend, "Keep up Y/n!"

But the girl just shakes her head still gasping for breath, "That's not fair Jessie! Your too fast for me!" The girl just frowns as she sees her friend was not a bit out of breath, "How come your not tired?" Jessie just shrugs with a big smile, "C'mon let's go play!" The child with no other choice sighs as she chases after her friend who starts kicking the ball towards the goal.

Normally the child wasn't one for soccer. Sure she played it but that was only really because of Jessie. She played soccer because Jessie loved soccer and she would do anything for her best friend. Just how Jessie would always listen to Y/n play music even though she could barely play the triangle.

Their parents found it comically how the two got along. The two children couldn't have been more different yet they were the best of friends. Jessie was always active and running around outside and loved sports. Y/n on the other hand was the opposite. She preferred to stay inside and always had a thing for music. While she did like playing games, she definitely didn't love it as much as Jessie.

Honestly her parents think she wouldn't leave the house if it wasn't for Jessie.

But the girls were inseparable. You wouldn't find one without the other. Which is why when Jessie said she wanted to go play soccer, of course Y/n said yes.

"Y/n/n! Watch this!" Jessie screws her face up in concentration as she tries to juggle the ball just like how she's seen her favourite players have done it countless times on the TV. But she can only do it 6 times before the 7 year old loses control of the ball. While the small child pouted at the ball which rolls away from her, she isn't deterred as her best friend is clapping for her. "Woah that's so cool Jessie!" Y/n says in awe. Jessie smiles and straightens up as she picks up the ball happy to impress her friend but can't help but blush at the praise, "Thanks! I want to be a soccer player like the ones on the TV!"

At the bare age of 7, the small girl couldn't understand why when she said this to some adults  they would just chuckle and smile at her. She had even been told by some of the boys in her class that soccer is a boy's sport. But Jessie didn't care she just wanted to play soccer. She didn't know why people thought it was an impossible dream for her. Like her dad always told her, you should dream big or else what's the point of dreaming?

"That's so cool. When your a big famous soccer player, I'll come and watch all your games!" Y/n says giving her a toothy grin. Jessie nods returning her smile, "Yeah. And I'll score a goal for you".

"What do you want to be when we're older?" Jessie asks. Y/n plays with her hands and shrugs, "I don't know...". The junior soccer player tilts her head and thinks for a second before she perks up, "You could play music! You always make some cool sounds when we play!" The other girl thinks for a second before she smiles and nods, "Yeah that would be cool".

Jessie smiles before holding up her pinkie to her best friend, "Let's make a promise". Y/n tilts her head at her before Jessie continues, "Let's promise that when we grow up, we'll follow our wildest dreams!" The musician beams back at her and intertwine their pinkies locking in the promise, "Promise!"

The two 7 years stood there full of hopes and dreams for their future. Neither knowing much better as their innocence still protected them from the world. But neither cared. Because they had each other and they believed in each other. And because of that they felt like they could do anything.

***

The now two 15 year olds walk home from school. Even after all these years the two girls still best friends. Their promise still remaining fully intact. They always came home a little later after school. Whether it be because Jessie had soccer practice or Y/n lost time playing in the music room. But the two never failed to walk home together. One always waiting for the other to be finished.

"I don't get you" Jessie sighs as she shoulders her bag up higher. The musician of the two looks at her weirdly, "What are you talking about?" Jessie sighs once more, "Why won't you sign up for that talent show?" Now it's her turn to sigh as Y/n runs a hand through her hair tiredly, "Can you please just drop it Jess?"

But Jessie doesn't let up, "No I don't understand Y/n why you won't sign up! Your incredible when it comes to music. You can play almost any instrument I can name! You could win that talent show easily so why won't you sign up?!"

Y/n avoided her friend's gaze. She knew she meant well. Jessie was her best friend of course she only wanted the best for her. But Y/n had been keeping a secret. From everyone. Even Jessie. But it didn't mean that Jessie hadn't noticed. Jessie knew there was something up with the girl. She never wanted to show off her music. She had an incredible talent but refused to show it off. It was like she had stage fright but not really. She never had a problem playing for Jessie but when it came to anyone else she wouldn't even pick up an instrument.

What Jessie didn't know is that things hadn't been good at home for the musician. The musician tried to stay at Jessie's for as long as possible. But eventually she had to go home. Only to come home to a screaming match between her parents. They were always arguing about something or other that Y/n had just gotten use to the screaming and the occasional sound of smashing plates. 

The only time they seemed to agree on something was when they both agree that her music is a complete waste of time.

Y/n had to suffer quietly as she didn't want anyone to know. She had grown use to her parents ignoring her existence. She had gotten use to the disappointment. She had gotten use to that when her parent finally did give her attention it was for all the wrong reasons. She had to live with the fact that the very people who were meant to encourage her and care for her, did the exact opposite.

So when her parents tell her that music is a waste of time and should give it up. There was only so many times she could hear it before it started becoming true in her mind. As her parents always told her, where would music get her in life? Would it pay her bills in the future? Would it bring her success? Would it make her any money?

What it did give her was purpose

But her parents didn't care. They had drilled it into her so much that it was ingrained into her. Nothing good was going to come from music so what was the point in trying?

Jessie had caught the brief flash if sadness across her best friend's face. It was so quick that if she hadn't been watching she wouldn't of caught it. "Y/n..." She starts but she doesn't get to finish as Y/n seems to speed up and hurries into the Fleming household before her. Intent on finding out what's wrong with her friend she chases after her determined on helping her friend. She sees Y/n already halfway up the stairs and starts to climb after her throwing a quick call over her shoulder to notify her parents that they were home.

But before she could make it so much as 3 steps her mom's voice rings throughout the house, "Jessie! Y/n! Can you come here quickly!" This makes the two girls pause looking at each other questioningly. But they both comply and move to the sitting room where everyone else was.

"Yeah Mom?" Jessie asks as the two friends stand beside each other ready to step in at a moment's notice in case one needs to step in to comfort the other. The two parents share a look which worries the girl but they completely miss the smiles from the other kids in the room. What didn't go unnoticed by everyone was the fact that Y/n's finger went to wrap around Jessie's pinkie before the soccer player held her hand properly squeezing it lightly for reassurance.

The two adults in the room smile softly at the action before remembering what they called them down for in the first place. "We got a call from canwnt.." her mom starts. Jessie tilts her head, "Oh is there another camp on?" Her father smiles down at her, "Yes but this camp is going to be a bit different". Jessie looks at the two clearly confused. Apon seeing this Y/n steps closer to her friend this time it was her giving the reassuring squeeze.

"What do you mean?" Jessie asks. Once more the parents share a smile but before they could tell her, her little sister beat them too it. "You got called up to the national team!" Elysse sequels. The two friends freeze for a second before Jessie looks to her parents for confirmation. But they just smile and nod. "I got called up....to the senior team?" Jessie whispers lowly as if to see how it sounds coming out of her mouth.

But it was only a minute after that it truly hit her

"I got called up!?!" She yells before launching herself towards her parents to hug her fiercely. Y/n stands back as she watches the family celebrate the fact that one of their member's Wildest Dream are coming true. She watches how her brother and sister join in the embrace as they tell her how proud they are of her achieving her dream. They all knew how hard she worked to get here and it was truly incredible that she achieved this at such a young age.

But what did they expect from the overachiever that was Jessie Fleming

Although she was immensely proud and happy for her best friend. Y/n couldn't help the tiny bit of bitterness followed by guilt that crept up on her. She could felt but felt bitter as she watches her practically second family celebrate Jessie's dreams. Their family had always supported Jessie's passion in the pursuit of soccer even when others thought she was aiming too high. They were always there to encourage her and was always cheering for her at every one of her games.

Y/n wished her own family was like that. That her parents were supportive of her own dreams. Instead of shouting abuse at each other and only give her attention when she didn't meet their standards.

But she quickly pushed it down as Jessie turned to her and practically tackled her in a hug. Y/n hugs her back just as tight as she nuzzles herself into Jessie's neck, "I knew you could do it Jess! I'm so proud of you". Jessie gives her a tight squeeze before pulling back just enough so she can look at her friend's face, "Now all you have to do is fulfill your part of the promise!"

It took ever bit of willpower to make sure her smile didn't falter in front of her. Her problems were her own and she didn't need to drag Jessie into them especially on what is supposed to be such a joyous celebration for the teen. So instead she held face in front of her best friend and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah I do"

***

"Y/n?"

The girl hums telling her that she's listening even though her eyes remain fixed on the guitar. Jessie bites her lip wondering how best to approach this without saying the wrong thing. But eventually she sighs as she looks softly at the girl she had grown feelings for.

"Why do you only play for me?"

Y/n picks her head up as her eyes lock with Jessie's. The brunette not knowing how heavy the question she asked truly is.

The two were now both 17 and both harbouring feelings for the other not that they would ever admit that to the other. Jessie had been with the national team for a while now and preparing to go to college next year....in America. While Y/n didn't know what she was going to do. But the thought of them two being separated hurt the both of them.

But Y/n had still not fulfilled her half of the promise.

But she did go to nearly every one of Jessie's matches. And Jessie would swear that even among the thousands of fans, she could always hear Y/n cheering above anyone else. It was only after Jessie's first cap with the national team did she realise that she had fallen for her best friend as she saw the musician with her family in the stands wearing her jersey.

The two had something that was untouchable by anyone else. It was unbreakable. But neither wanted to ruin it in fear of the other not feeling the same. So things remained the same.

Expect for Y/n

Jessie could see the gradually change in the girl. If it was even possible, the girl retracted into herself even more than she always was. Many didn't notice as the girl had always been on the quiet side and had tended to keep to herself and maybe a handful of friends.

But Jessie did.

Jessie saw how that light twinkle in her eyes faded. She watched as her friend lost the sparkle in her eyes. Her smile didn't seem as big. Her eyes lost their light. The fire the girl once had been extinguished. It was only when they were 16 did Jessie find out why.

When the girl showed up to her house in the middle of the night in tears and a bruise starting to form on her cheek did Jessie find out about what her friend had been keeping from her. How her parents had been arguing for so long that she had practically become desensitizied by it. How she would go for weeks on end without the slightest bit of acknowledgment from her parents.

But that night was the last straw

Y/n was finally sick of all the shouting and yelling and arguing. And when she make that known to her parents, in a fit of rage her father hit her. That was the breaking point of their family. By the time Jessie's parents got to the house her father was already gone and they hadn't heard from him since.

And while the arguing had stopped, nothing had changed between the mother and daughter. Y/n's mother was hardly home and the family only had small interactions between each other. And those small interactions included telling Y/n that she needs to focus on her future and not silly music. Jessie had slowly been coaxing her out and back to her normal self but it was a slow process.

And she still refused to play for anyone else other than Jessie.

"W-why do you ask?" Y/n whispered softly. Jessie watched as the musician fiddled with the neck of her guitar. "You never play for anyone but me. You even record stuff for me when I'm away for camps and make me playlists. But never for anyone else. Why?" Jessie asks softly.

Y/n licked her lips trying to decide how to tell her without saying it's because she felt safest with her. That she could trust her with anything. Because she was her best friend. Because she loved her.

"Because....your the only one that would like it" the musician admits quietly. Jessie scrunches up her face, "What?" But Y/n just shrugs, "No one would like it anyways so why even bother". Jessie just stared incredulously at her crush not understanding why the girl could possibly think that. "Y/n...your the most talented person I've ever heard. When you play, it's like the whole world stops to listen to you play. You are the greatest musician I've ever heard".

But Jessie is even more confused when she just shakes her head with traces of tears in her eyes. "Please don't Jess..." She whispers. Jessie tilts her head at her, "Don't what?" Y/n sniffles, "Don't lie. Your just saying that cause your my best friend". Jessie stares at her for a second as she scoots closer to her.

"Your right"

Y/n's head snaps up only to find Jessie staring at her determinedly. It doesn't even register to either of them how close they really are as they are only focused on the other. "Your right I am saying this because your my best friend. And as your best friend I'm telling you the truth that by hiding your music from everyone, you are robbing the world of your talent. And whoever thinks otherwise doesn't deserve you in their life".

Y/n sighs as she looks away, "My parents think it's a waste of time. That it's not going to take me far in the future". Jessie's heart break hearing her friend sound so defeated. Jessie absentmindedly brushes some hair behind Y/n's ear as she states straight into her eyes. "You shouldn't give up on your dream so easily" Jessie whispers, "Do you remember the promise we made back when we were younger?"

A small smile spreads across her face as the musician thinks back to simpler times back when she had no worries at all and nods. Jessie smiles, "Then you'll remember we promised to follow our dreams together". Jessie moves to intertwine their fingers, "I believe in you Y/n/n and I always will. No matter what everyone else thinks".

And just like that it was as if the dam broke.

The years of bottled up emotions, all the secret family problems she kept hidden, all her insecurities. Everything she kept locked up and away from prying eyes came flooding out. All with that one declaration. All because she knew she had her best friend and crush there with her and because she believed in her. She didn't need anything else but her. In that moment she didn't care that her father left her, she didn't care he had another family without her, she didn't care that her mother was never there for her or that she deemed work more important than her own daughter.

Because she had Jessie

The dam broke, her walls fell, everything came crashing down. But Jessie was there and she caught her. She took her in her arms and held her. Jessie acted as her defence and protected her from the rest of the world reassuring her that she was there for her. And after what seemed like hours of crying which was only half an hour in reality her sobs subsided enough for her to turn to Jessie.

"Jessie?" Jessie just looked down at her showing her she was listening. Her grip on Jessie's t-shirt tightened as she moved in closer to her as she leaned into her chest, "Please don't leave me as well. Please don't forget about me when you go to America...promise me".

Jessie didn't even need to hesitate she just shakes her head, "Never. Your my person Y/n. No one could ever replace you. It's always going to be you and me. Always".

And just like that Y/n never felt more safe and secure. And if at all possible Y/n felt as if she fell more in love with the soccer player.

***

Jessie took a slug of water as she looked through the crowded stadium. They were just after beating Utah 2-1. And with a great performance by the team and herself, Jessie was happy with the win.

But she felt almost euphoric when her eyes locked on a familiar figure in the stand.

"No way!" Jessie gasps lightly causing her teammates to look at her. But before her teammates could even ask, the Canadian was already running towards the stands, running towards someone specific.

Even though she was hidden behind a baseball cap and sunglasses, Jessie could pick her out anywhere. Honestly Jessie didn't even care when she jumped up and pulled herself up to the stand. The musician laughs as she holds Jessie making sure she doesn't fall or slip off the tiny foothold she was balancing on, "Jessie!" But Jessie just throws her arms around her best friend, "You didn't tell me you were in LA!"

But Y/n just hugs her back and nuzzles her have into the girl's neck, "Well I made a promise to watch all your matches". Jessie couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face as she just hugged the girl tighter. Both ignored all the eyes on them as people tried to figure out who was the girl with Jessie Fleming.

It had been a while since the two friends had seen each other. Jessie being busy between school and soccer. And while Y/n didn't go to college she finally took Jessie's advice and finally started releasing music. Her music went viral overnight. Within days everyone knew of the new up and coming DJ Y/n L/n. But with the fame of being the latest rising star in the music industry it also came with a strict schedule.

It didn't help that she couldn't leave her house to get a coffee without it being in the paper that she's sneaking away to meet up for a secret rendezvous with some hidden lover.

But it didn't mean that she didn't watch every single one of Jessie's matches.

"You should go. Your team is waiting for you" she murmurs into the column of Jessie's neck. But Jessie in response to this just tightened her hold. Y/n smiles knowing that her best friend missed her just as much she missed her, "Look I have a show later. How about you and the team come and we can meet up after?"

Jessie takes a second before nodding, "Okay". Y/n smiles moving her nose up and down on the small patch of skin before her ear before she taps her hip, "You better go Jess. And go shower. You stink". The soccer player scoffs slapping her on the shoulder, "Shut up". The musician chuckles, "I'll text you in a bit". "Okay" Jessie nods. And in a moment of courage she quickly and discreetly kissed her cheek before she carefully climbs down from the barrier.

Y/n can't help the blush as her eyes follow Jessie as she jogs back to her teammates immediately being brought into questioning no doubt about her. Not wanting to wait around and risk being recognised she decided to leave the stadium. Y/n grins as she walks out of the stadium among the crowds. Besides she had a show to prepare for.

And a girl to impress

***

"Jessie how did you get us in?" Ashley asks as the team moves deeper into the club. Jessie smirks as she shrugs. The team had been badgering her all evening wanting to know who was the person she was talking to. They were even more surprises when she suggested they go out tonight. To this particular club. This was unusual for the quiet Canadian who they usually have to drag out of he dorms for a night out.

And here she was, getting them into a club for a sold out gig.

"Seriously Jess how did you get us in here?" Teagan asks. But before Jessie could even open her mouth the gig was about to begin, "Everyone! Please give it up for Y/DJ/n!" The team all stared at her with slacked jaws while the London native smiles widely and clapped as her childhood friend bounced onto the stage. 

Jessie loved seeing her on stage. Her friend looked so free up on stage. It's like all her worries melted away. She had seen Y/n grow in the past few years. She completely detached herself from her family and throw herself into music. Starting small and working her way up. She started on YouTube but was quickly picked up. And ever since then it's been hit after hit for her. But whenever she was on stage, she was always having fun. The smile never left her face as she was always bouncing around having fun.

The show went off without a hitch. Y/n went through all her favourite songs. Along with playing her own remix of UCLA which Jessie most definitely knew was a nod at her and her teammates. She finished the night by playing the song that started it all. The very first song with blew up on YouTube. The song that made her famous around the world. Ironically a song that was made around the promise she made to Jessie all those years ago about following their wildest dreams. A song that Jessie didn't know was inspired by her back when they sat together that day. Back to that day at age 17 when Y/n discovered she was in love with her best friend.

The team could have swore they saw the DJ send a wink in their direction. But thought nothing of it as they kept dancing. It was only when the show had ended and they were about to leave only to be stopped by a guard did they start to question everything. They were lead backstage into a separate room with the only instruction from the big bulky security guard being "Wait here" before closing the door behind them. Ashley blinked at the closed door as she sighs, "Well that wasn't suspicious at all". The team nods but Jessie just grins and moves towards the snacks laid out on the table knowing there would be chocolate covered strawberries there. Even though Y/n didn't really like strawberries, she always made sure they had them in her dressing room for Jessie knowing how much her best friend loved them.

As Jessie started helping herself to the treats at the table her teammates looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Uh should you be going at the food Jess?" Anika asks as she watches the Canadian take another bite out of a strawberry. Before she could answer though someone beat her too it.

"Well I did get them for her..."

The entire team watched as the DJ strides into the room. Her face slightly flushed and a light layer of sweat as she dabbed at it with a towel. The team look at her gobsmacked while Jessie smiles and walks over to her enveloping her in a hug. "Hey Rockstar great show" Jessie says as her arms wrap around the musicians waist. Y/n throws her head back with a laugh as her arms wrap around her shoulders as they start to sway lightly, "Thanks Superstar".

But of course their moment was interrupted

"Woah woah woah hang on a second here!" Teagan exclaims causing the two to break apart. The goalkeeper points between the two, "You know each other?" Jessie just scrunches her face as she looks at her teammates confused faces, "Of course I know her. You guys knew that, I talk about her all the time". Karina scoffs, "We didn't know you were talking about the Y/n L/n!" Y/n watches with an amused smile present on her face as she watched her friend guffhaws at her friends throwing her hands up, "I literally have a picture of us on my desk!"

It was true. She never hid her friendship with the rising music star. She had multiple picture of the two in her room. Hell her phone screen was a picture of the two of them together.

"Just when you think you can't get cooler...you know a famous celebrity" Sunny mumble causing everyone to laugh. It's only when the laughter dies down that Y/n realises that everyone is now looking at her. She sheepishly scratches the back of her head, "Uh it's nice to meet you all. Jessie speaks very highly of you all". The team smile but it quickly turns to a smirk as they all see Jessie slip her hand into hers and they see the musician visibly calm down sending a smile to their teammate.

As they hung out it became painful clear that the two were harbouring feelings for the other but neither wanted to talk about it. The team found it amusing how comfortable she was with the musician. They watched as Jessie was splayed out across the couch, head resting on Y/n's lap as the musician mindlessly ran her fingers through her soft brown strands. It didn't help that they spotted the red number 17 Canadian jersey under the musicians flannel shirt. They had never seen their Canadian teammate so comfortable with someone like this before. So as it started to get late they decided to head off. Not only to get some rest but to also allow the two some much need alone time together.

The pair sat silently in bliss as Jessie closed her eyes focusing on how soft and delicate Y/n was while running her hand through her hair. "Thank you for coming tonight" Y/n whispers softly almost sacred to break the peaceful atmosphere between the two of them. Jessie just opens her eyes and intertwines her fingers with Y/n's other hand, "Of course. I love seeing you play. Even though I prefer when you play guitar". The corner of her mouth twitched upwards, "That's special. That's for only you. I don't mind everyone listening to my other stuff. But I only play the guitar for you".

The overnight sensation looked down to see that a small faint blush had tinted Jessie's cheeks. Without even thinking her hand moves from her hair to cup her cheek as her thumb grazed her cheekbone. She only snapped out of it when she saw that Jessie's face had now turned fully red leaving her to resemble a tomato. She was about to pull her hand away not wanting to make the girl uncomfortable but stopped when Jessie instead leaning into her hand.

As Y/n stared down at the soccer player, something just surged through her. It was like everything just clicked as she took a deep breath, "There's something I have to tell you". This catches Jessie's attention as she squeezes the other girl's hand, "What is it?"

Y/n picks her lips trying to figure out best how to tell her, "Have I ever told you where the inspiration for "Wildest Dreams" came from?" Jessie thinks for a second before shaking her head. Y/n hesitates for a second wondering if it was too late to turn back now, the fear starting to crept back in. Jessie sees this and sits up so she can look at her properly, "Y/n?" Y/n sighs running her hand through her hair, "Well it was about the promise we made when we were younger and then back when we were 17 when you said I shouldn't give up on my music. It was a really important day for me".

Y/n takes a deep breath stopping herself from rambling as she mentally scolds herself. Why was this so hard? It was only when Jessie moved a stray strand of hair behind her ear and gave her hand a squeeze did she look back at her. "Are you okay Y/n? You seem really distracted..." Jessie asks visibly concerned. Y/n just nods slowly, "Yeah...it's just I've been thinking about that promise we made lately. About how we would follow our dreams". Y/n looks directly into Jessie's brown chocolate orbs almost making Jessie forgot how to breathe, "Well there is something else I've been dreaming about for a while and I'm scared".

Jessie frowns wondering what could possibly be wrong with her best friend that has her this much out of it, "Why are you scared?" Y/n's eyes dart down at Jessie's lips for a split second before looking back up with a small fearful whisper, "Because I'm scared you'll hate me for it..." But Jessie barely let's her finish that sentence before she stares fiercely back at her, "I could never hate you".

Something broke between the two in that moment. This was the only reassurance Y/n needed before she started to close the already small gap between the two giving Jessie enough time to pull away in case. But that wasn't necessary as Jessie also leaned in as her hands latched onto her neck almost fearful that she would disappear soon after.

The kiss turned from shy and timid to deep and passionate, both trying to convey how long they have wanted this and wanting to make up for lost time. When they both pulled away they looked at each other trying to find any hint of doubt or regret in the other's face. But when they found none they both smiled brightly. Y/n pulling Jessie in closer so that her legs now laid across her lap causing Jessie to sequel only to be silenced by Y/n's lips meeting hers.

And to think that this all started with a promise to follow their dreams. Only to realise that they were each other's greatest dream.

#jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming imagines #jessie fleming imagine #jessie fleming #ucla soccer imagine #ucla bruins #canwnt x reader #canwnt imagines #canwnt imagine

[kinsey3furry300]

A very confused Star Wars Fan desperately tries to justify their belief that “Caravan of Courage” shows the way forward for the franchise. No, really.

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve loved Star Wars. And I mean, all of it. The books, the games, the Lego, the spin-offs: I even enjoy the Holiday Special in a The Room so-bad-you-just-need-to-see-it sort of way.  But particularly the films. But here is when we run into the big problem: I’m just the wrong age. The original trilogy launched before I was born, the prequel trilogy hit cinemas when I was already a teen and while I went and saw them and enjoyed them, I was at that age where I was self-conscious about seeing a “kids” film, and hyper-aware of how silly and cringy those films were in parts. So my indoctrination, my inoculation with the Star Wars bug didn’t happen in the cinema, and it didn’t happen with any of the main franchise works. It happened on home video, on a skiing trip in the French Alps in the early 90’s. I’d have been about 6, and this was the first time I’d ever been abroad other than to see relatives in Ireland.  And I loved it: to this day I love skiing, but more than that, I have very, very fond childhood memories of this trip. This was shortly before I lost my biological mother to cancer, she’d have received her diagnosis just after we got back from the trip. This was when my younger sister stopped being an annoying screaming thing and became and became an actual person I could talk and play and share ideas with, this was before the combination my mothers long illness and my father having just launched his own IT start up meant I didn’t see him or her any more, despite the fact they were in the same house as me. This was this wonderful, nostalgic child-hood bubble when my family was intact, and nothing could ever go wrong. I skied all day with mum and dad, and would come back to the chalet in the evening. It was an English speaking chalet, I met my first real-life American there, and having grown up in the 90’s in the UK nothing was cooler than making friends with an actual American my own age. He had a hulk Hogan action figure with springs in the legs so if you put him on a hard surface and punched his head down, when you let go he’d jump really high in the air. We used to play with it together in the bath, back in that weird 90’s time-bubble when it was possible to convince two sets of parents that this kid you’d just met was you best friend in the world and of course shared bath time was, somehow, normal and appropriate. And fresh from bath time, tired from the day, the parents would give us some hot coco, dump us kids in front of the tv and grab the first shitty low-budget VHS they could find to keep us distracted while they went to the bar. In this particular time, in this particular place, that shitty low budget cartoon was the  complete set of the 1985 Lucasfilm/ABC Ewoks cartoon, plus the two spin off movies, and to this day that cheap, kitschy, kind of bad series has a special warm and cosy place in my heart. I remember being enthralled by the world, in love with the characters, applied by the bad guys and the injustice they caused (to this day I’m still irate about that time Wicket lost his set of beads documenting his progress towards becoming a full warrior and the older Ewoks basically said, tough, you need to re-earn all those merit badges from scratch. This struck me as exactly the sort of bullshit an adult would pull, and pissed me off) and on tenterhooks about what would happen to the characters.

It was also, by a coincidence, the first ever Star Wars media I was exposed to, and the above combination of events probably explains a lot about me.

So I was surprised, the other day, when scrolling Disney+, to find they’d added Caravan of Courage AND Battle for Endor to the roster in my region. Surely Disney wouldn’t want their slick, cool brand associated with this old trash? Surely there could be no place for this in the post-Mandalorian Star Wars cannon? Surely this is a horrible mistake some intern made, right?

Unless…. What if I’ve miss-remembered? What if it’s not just rose-tinted nostalgia goggles, and it’s, in fact, secretly really, really good?

I rushed to my comfy chair, got a blanket, dimmed the lights, made some coco (with rum in it, because why the hell not?) and sat down to re-examine this lost gem.

And wow: it’s every bit as shit as you’d expect.

It has aged exactly as poorly as you’d expect a cheap, mid 80’s direct to video spin-off to age. Caravan of Courage? More like Caravan of Garbage, am I right?

And yet… I still enjoyed every moment.

And it was sitting there, in my pyjamas, watching a cheaply made direct to video cash-grab from just before I was born, seeing it again for the first time in nearly 30 years, and I realised something.

It doesn’t really matter if this film is bad, so long as I enjoy it. And if it doesn’t really mater if this is bad, then I, like many Star Wars fans, wasted a huge amount of time and emotional effort on being butthurt about stuff I didn’t like about the Rise of Skywalker and it’s ilk. Because somewhere, right now, a tired and frustrated parent is putting Disney+ on to keep their kids quiet for two hours. And they won’t think too hard about what they put on, so long as it keeps little Timmy busy for a bit. Somewhere, right now, a kid is watching Rise of Skywalker, and it’s the first Star Wars media they’ve ever seen.

And that’s okay. Because we don’t know what that kids home life is like. We don’t know if it’s good or bad. Maybe it’s great, maybe it’s about to take a dramatic plunge like mine did, and this moment here will be the cosy, warm memory they look back on in 30 years time, and that’s beautiful.  They’re getting introduced to a fun, wonderful fantasy world that could be with them all their lives, through good times and bad, and as fans we should be happy about that.

Star Wars will never, die: it’s too darn profitable, Disney will never let it. And while I hope they learn from their mistakes and make sure every future Star Wars is a timeless gem of story-telling, statistically, if you keep making enough films, some of them will be bad. And while I’d like them all to be great, it’s still okay if they’re bad.

Because nothing can take away my memories of that week in that chalet. Nothing can take-away my memories of when they put the original trilogy on in cinemas for the special edition and I had my jaw hit the floor with how good it was on the big screen, not knowing or caring who shot first. Nothing can take away you memories of the Original Trilogy, the Prequels, or the Clone Wars. Nothing can tarnish the bits of the sequil trilogy that you like, and there are good bits in there.

But wait, what about continuity? What about the sacred, perfect written time-line that used to exist?

Well, what about it? Have you seen any other big, epic fantasy universe before? They’re all a mess. A work of fiction, particularly fantasy, can be extensive, or tightly written, but not both. Harry Potter is only seven books, and the last two feel, tonally, like they’re from an entirely different series. I love them, but the grim-dark kicked in so fast you’ll get whiplash. The Hobbit is a perfect written self-contained novel, and LOTR is *The* big boy high-fantasy trilogy: fast forward 50 years, and Christopher Tolkien is desperately squeezing every last drop of money out of his father’s corpse by finishing and publishing every unfinished note JRR ever wrote right down to his shopping lists. Even Dune goes of the rails with sequels. I can only think of four fantasy works that are both extensive and consistently tightly written, Song of Ice and Fire, Wheel of Time, Malazan: Book of the Fallen and Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere universe. And even then, the prequels and spin-offs mess with the timelines: the Dunk and Egg novella’s change some character’s canonical ages and timelines, Wheel of Time was going slowly off the rails even before the Jordan died, Forge of Darkness made what was a good metaphor for the creation of it’s world into a literal war deep in the past, and Sanderson’s first Novel Elantris got a re-write to bring it more in line with the rest of the shared universe. The MCU, oft held up as the modern example of tightly planned, well thought out ongoing storytelling, is a lie: it was never as pre-planned out as Disney wants us to think; the first Iron Man, apparently, barely had a script, with Downey ad-lib-ing most of his scenes. None of the MCU films are direct sequels to each-other other than Infinity war and Endgame. There are three Iron Man films, and Three Thor films, and none continue an ongoing story line across multiple films, and the Cap films barely continue an arc, but only where Cap’s relationship with Natasha and Bucky is involved.  Much like these, Star War’s cannon is a complete, nightmarish, confusing, tangled, illogical mess. And it has been since 1984, as Caravan of Courage proves. It was never consistent and well planned.

And that’s okay.

I used to care about plot holes. I used to care about which works were cannon in Star Wars lore. I’m over that now. I’m happy to imagine the books, films and games not as a blow-by-blow historical account of a galaxy far far away, but as campfire stories from within this fun, imaginative world that we’re all invited to listen to. Stories that are in-universe myth and folklore, that we can all snuggle up and listen to while drinking highly alcoholic rum and remembering better times, knowing that wherever the future throws at us, no matter how the world goes to hell around us, we’ll still have the memories, and the ability to make our own new stories in the wonderful Star Wars world we all share.

And that’s okay. No, more than that: that’s beautiful.

Also Star Wars is completely unambiguous on the fact we’re allowed to kill fascists no matter how many times they keep coming back with a new logo, so that’s timely I guess.

So, there’s my hot take two-years after everyone else stopped caring about this stuff, as per bloody usual. Tell me why I’m wrong below, and does anyone else have any truly awful spin-off shows that they kind of have a nostalgic soft spot for?

#star wars #ewoks #caravan of courage #Star wars universe #epic fantasy #MCU #tolkien #LOTR #malazan #song of ice and fire #wheel of time #brandon sanderson #Cosmere #dune #late opinions delivered badly #i'm wrong and i know it #seriously hot coco with rum #spin off #bad spin off #so bad it's good #I love the ewoks cartoon #but you don't have to thats okay too

[cellydawn]

Sans is a Darkner Theory (MASTERPOST)

I know that this theory has been touched on before, but I’d like to compile all the evidence from the original post with some additional stuff I found relevant into a single comprehensive post. To preface this, I would like to remind everyone that the merchandise based on Sans isn’t canon and that though Deltarune isn’t a direct sequel to Undertale, the Deltarune FAQ confirms that connections between the two are not precluded.

I’m going to divide this theory into three parts because I want to cover all my bases and there is an extensive amount of evidence, so without further ado, let me introduce you to my completely self-indulgent crazed ramblings!

WARNING: This is very long. Also, a bunch of speculation here so read at your own discretion.

1. Sans has connections to the Deltarune universe

Let’s list off what we know for sure:

Sans instantly recognizes the Player as a human and has knowledge of the Surface.

In the conversation at MTT Restaurant, Sans confesses that he knows the feeling of wanting to go home.

According to the Snowdin Shopkeeper, Sans and Papyrus showed up one day and “asserted themselves”.

In his lost soul dialogue, Sans says that “you’ll never see ‘em again”.

During his battle, Sans reveals that he “gave up trying to go back a long time ago” and that “getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore, either.”

After being defeated, Sans says that he’s “going to grillbys”. In Deltarune, the first place we see Sans is at Grillby’s. Sans’s house and the restaurant in Deltarune are the same as in Undertale (except for slight alterations like the lack of snow and...’sans)

Undertale!Sans and Deltarune!Sans have identical sprites.

After talking with the Clam Girl and learning of Suzy, you can go to Sans’s workshop and find a card sticking out from the back flap of the binder, described as a poorly drawn picture of three smiling people with the words "don't forget" written in lowercase. Deltarune’s credits song is titled “Don’t Forget”.

We can safely assume that Sans came from another place that is not the underground nor the surface; Sans misses his home and his friends there (presumably the people in the picture); Susie and Suzy are related somehow. Additionally, we can speculate that Sans and Papyrus may have arrived from another dimension. It might very well be the case that Sans originated from the Deltarune universe: Sans is completely resigned to the fact that he can’t alter the past no matter how hard he tries. Deltarune’s prophecy is all about inevitability. Sans’s defeatist attitude might stem from this.

Here’s some evidence that is more debatable:

River Person warns the Player to “Beware of the man who came from the other world”. It’s possible that the man in question is Sans.

I’ve noticed this isn’t brought up as much, but Sans’s word search is from ICE-E’s, which is a brand we only see in Deltarune. As far as we know, there is no trace of this brand in the Undertale universe. It definitely doesn’t appear to be one from a newspaper—it’s a distraction given to kids at restaurants.

BONUS: There’s a wacky inflatable mascot that resembles the ICE-E’s mascot in the dog shrine found in the skelebros’ house (console version)

During Shyren’s encounter, if the Player hums twice, the flavor text describes Sans selling tickets made of toilet paper. Now, we know that all the food in the Underground is made out of magic. Magic nourishes monsters, but it doesn’t pass through their bodies as waste. Why does Sans have toilet paper? 

Alphys seems to be in-the-know about Sans’s time-space shenanigans. In the epilogue of the pacifist ending, there’s some dialogue that suggests Alphys and Sans are quite familiar with each other. Both of them want to keep this a secret for whatever reason. In a neutral ending in which Alphys becomes the ruler, she is mournful of the deaths of Undyne, Alphys, and Asgore, but is glad that “at least Sans is here”. In the MTT quiz, if you pick “Don’t Know” to the question about her crush, Alphys reveals that she has done research on alternate universes and knows they exist. Both Sans and Alphys have connections to Gaster, who is quite prevalent in Deltarune. She, along with Sans (and coincidentally, the ICE-E word-search) are affected by Fun values and have their own Fun events. It seems a little random, but what if all the Fun events are Gaster-related? Are Alphys and Sans the two people mentioned in Entry 17?

So I think all of these pieces are sufficient in establishing Sans’s connection to Deltarune, though it is still unclear whether Sans came from Deltarune into Undertale or vice versa, OR Sans showed up from yet ANOTHER universe. That’s a theory for another time, though. On to the next part!

2. Sans has abilities/properties exclusive to Darkners

Some of the basics:

Sans can teleport, that is, use “shortcuts”, as evidenced by appearing both in front and behind the character in Snowdin, going to Grillbys, chasing after Papyrus in the wrong direction during the Pacifist ending scene, etc. Though Rouxls Kaard is shown to teleport, Lancer’s style of teleporting most closely resembles Sans’s. There are multiple instances in which Lancer stays ahead despite the Player passing him (for example, Lancer sneaking a sign past the party despite there only being one way to the door).

The door to Sans’s room greatly resembles the fast-travel doors that only Darkners are able to create. If you get the key to his room, the pitch-black and seemingly-endless walkway is not dissimilar to that of the supply closet. Papyrus also happens to liken Sans’s room to “another world”. All of the weird junk could be representative of various landmarks in the dark world.

Sans can manipulate shadows as seen through his first appearance (I also like to think that this is the reason why his “eye-lights” can disappear). This is most prevalent with Ralsei, Lancer, and the King obscuring parts of their body with shadows.

Darkners have colored portraits. At first glance, you would assume Sans doesn’t have one, but his head is already—conveniently—black and white.

If that wasn’t enough, let’s take a look at Sans’s battle in the Genocide Route. The most distinguishing feature of this fight is Sans’s ability to dodge your attacks, an ability that was thought to be unique to him. As it turns out, Darkners are also able to dodge (provided that they are warned). In order to actually beat Sans, you need to tire him out, and once you have dealt the final blow, he runs away. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

I believe that Sans actually survives the encounter as well. I’ve seen people claim that when he goes off-screen, the “dusting” sound effect signifies that he dies. This is wrong. That sound effect plays at the end of every battle, regardless of whether you spared or killed an enemy. I’d like to point out that the EXP you gain from the battle does not confirm Sans’s death. If you pick on Loox, you can get 5 extra EXP stacking up to 3 times. This means that killing an enemy is not required for you to gain EXP. I’ll also include that the kill counter doesn’t go up once Sans’s battle is over. It’s believed that this is the case because of Chara’s interference, though I don’t personally agree.

Let me also present this tidbit that I see no one else talking about: unlike literally any monster in the underground (besides Flowey, but he doesn’t count), Sans HAS NO HP BAR. When he gets hit, the damage numbers are present, but the HP bar that should have appeared above him is absent. Darkners don’t have a visible HP bar when struck.

Here’s some stuff that’s a little bit more controversial/speculative:

Lancer more or less implies that Darkners bleed, though we haven’t seen any examples of this yet. Ralsei doesn’t correct him, however. We know that the monsters in the light world don’t bleed (“Does it hurt to be made out of blood?”), and Susie’s comment (“Everybody bleeds, right?”) could be read as her trying to look cool for Lancer. Then, does Sans bleed?

It has been confirmed by @nochocolate​ that the red coming out of Sans is the exact same red as his ketchup bottle. This is a deliberate choice, but it doesn’t completely deconfirm that it may be blood because we don’t have other instances of blood to compare it to. Additionally, there is a mention of both blood and ketchup from Noelle: "This isn't another trick, is it, Kris? Like when you put ketchup on your arms and told me it was blood?" This might just be Toby Fox poking fun at the fandom or intentionally misdirecting us—really, it could go either way.

Sans’s mouth doesn’t move at all while he talks. It turns out that there may be an explanation for this! In Undertale, you can see the mouths of face sprites move while words are being spoken.

However, in Deltarune, both Lightners and Darkners don’t feature moving mouths in their textboxes! In instances wherein the full-body sprites are shown (Papyrus date, Alphys date, literally all the battles), the mouths don’t move either. So while his expression rarely changes, it might turn out that Sans DOES actually move his mouth while speaking, we just can’t see it. I’m a bit iffy on this theory since it varies from monster to monster in the Light World. Moreover, in Undertale, while Mettaton’s mouth doesn’t move at all (I’m going to disregard this since he is a robot) it’s very peculiar that the same can be said for Alphys.

Seriously, why doesn’t Alphys’s mouth move at all?? This HAS to be intentional, all of the other characters with a face sprite have moving mouths. Deltarune!Alphys doesn’t have one either. This brings up more questions than answers: Are certain monsters Lightners and others not? Is Alphys a Lightner? Did her “research” on alternate universes involve her actually traversing the multiverse? Am I overthinking this? In any case, it’s more stuff linking her to Sans...

If it turns out that not all monsters are Lightners, then it makes sense that Sans is so devoted to Papyrus, assuming that Papyrus is, in fact, a Lightner. No other person’s death makes as much of a difference as Papyrus’s concerning Sans’s behavior towards you. Alternatively, if Papyrus is not a Lightner, then it stands to reason why Sans is so depressed—he has no way of fulfilling his purpose. “Sans”, after all, means “without”.

The Light World has virtually no indications of monsters being able to use magic. In Undertale, it’s stated that magic is a method of self-expression for monsters, yet the only magic we see in Deltarune is from within the Dark World. If we compare Deltarune!Toriel’s stovetop to Undertale!Toriel’s, we see that the flavor text has omitted her use of fire magic. Susie is able to send out magic ax attacks, but this is likely due to the nature of the Dark World. I need to clarify that she is not the one that casts the Pacify spell at the end of a “neutral” run; she realizes that the King is tired, and waits for Ralsei to finish the job. Her remembering Pacify is exactly what it means, and Ralsei comments on it because he is expressing surprise that she cared to remember the spell she made fun of him for. I’ll also point out that the lack of magic would be the reason why the monster-human war ended differently/didn’t even happen, therefore allowing monsters to reside on the surface. If Sans did hail from this world, he wouldn’t have magic or would have very limited magical capabilities if he isn’t a Darkner.

Here is a piece of dialogue from Sans about the Underground. Interestingly, he differentiates himself from monsters, though this could just be because he doesn’t want to lump in Papyrus with them. The King has a similar line (“Show my son the monster you REALLY are!”). Monsters are possibly complicit in Darkners’ imprisonment. Is it possible that Sans is also resentful? Do Darkners exist in Undertale?

I feel like this interaction is worth mentioning. It’s entirely possible that Darkners were sealed so long ago in the Undertale universe that nobody even remembers their existence. 

Going back to Papyrus, if Sans is a Darkner, then it’s important to mention that Papyrus is not. We see Papyrus turn to dust when he is killed. For that reason, it seems that Sans and Papyrus are not biological brothers. I think this actually makes a lot of sense given how different they look. Yes, it’s true that Sans and Papyrus both have a skeleton motif, but they don’t look remotely similar. The face shape, the jaw, the build, the height, the eyes, the nasal cavity—nothing matches! Each monster species look the same, hell, even boss monsters like Toriel and Asgore resemble each other. Compared to Papyrus, Sans seems a lot more solid (his gut) AND he’s almost completely covered up save for his face (what are you hiding under there?).

Their bone attacks are distinct as well: Papyrus’s have a more angular aesthetic compared to Sans’s rounded edges.

In comparison, Toriel, Asgore, and Asriel have the same exact fire attack.

So, if Sans is a skeleton-themed Darkner, what type would he be?

3. Sans is the Ace of Spades

This part of the theory is a bit more conjectural, but I think there is enough evidence to put this in here.

Let’s start with how Sans, Lancer, and the King are similar:

Their sprites have the same color scheme: black, blue, white, and grey.

They sport uneven and toothy grins, are round and chubby (“if you eat too many hot dogs…you’ll probably get huge like me”), and have a hood.

The spades seem to have a smile motif. The grinning “mouth” of the Card Castle has the same number of “teeth” as Sans. Additionally, you can see portraits of spade people inside the castle. They’re all smiling.

These three are the only characters that can freely shift between being completely submerged in the shadows and becoming visible. The ability to cloak their body with shadows is a trait thought to be shared by all Darkners; Ralsei, after all, exhibits this all throughout our journey. What’s interesting is that there are clear parallels to Sans, Lancer, and the Kings’ shadows: they conceal their entire form and reveal it during their first appearances.

Sans and Lancer are shown to be able to teleport. I’m bringing this up again because it seems that not all Darkners can teleport without the use of a door as indicated by Ralsei’s confusion. If Ralsei has extensive knowledge of Darkner powers, and he is unaware that Lancer can teleport, then teleportation must be an ability unique to the spades, or, at the very least, card-themed Darkners.

Sans and the King’s fights are eerily similar. You need to fight/tire them out and listen to them monologue in order to progress. A major theme of both fights is how you can’t truly spare them. Appearing worn out from the battle, they appeal for mercy. Should the Player fall for it, they launch an unavoidable attack that deals catastrophic damage. Additionally, before his fight, the King employs the use of silent text, just like Sans during his judgments and his intimidating moments. Also worth noting: in both fights, the battle box is manipulated deliberately to suit the needs of the Player (for our last attack against Sans) and the King (his weird stomach tongue latching onto the box). Sans is also capable of stretching the box as seen with the attack before his special attack.

Lancer and Sans, in particular, parallel each other quite nicely. They are both playful jokers, they both own bikes, and both of these characters have a strange relationship with food (particularly with red condiments).

The two just so happen to have stands to sell questionable foodstuffs.

Sans is evidently constantly eating:

Undyne: “And his brother kept making 100’s of midnight snacks.”

Papyrus: “GRILLBY’S… IT’S DARK AND FULL OF GREASE. PURGATORY OF FRIES… HAMBURGER ABYSS… ANYWAY, MY BROTHER PRACTICALLY LIVES HERE.”

Big-Mouth: “Sans is interesting. He has told me about all kinds of incredible foods. But, despite his knowledge, he always orders the worst burger off the menu.”

And we know that Lancer barely eats at all. He doesn’t think that having three glasses of milk as his dinner is unusual, he’s not allowed to eat the Dark Candy, he pretends to eat the salsa in the stump, and he has to get fed worms by Rouxls because his father forgot to feed him. Sans and Lancer both have terrible eating habits. I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean, but you know, food for thought.

Why the Ace of Spades:

The designs of both Lancer and the King originated from @kanotynes​ who created an entire deck of cards. The Ace of Spades does not have a distinct design.

French manufacturers standardized the four playing card suits. “Sans” and “Lancer” are both French words.

It symbolizes uncleanliness and depression (Sans’s socks and his room, the latter is pretty self-explanatory), omens (River Person’s warning, Flowey alerting us to not reveal our abilities to him, “you’re going to have a bad time”), and death (the reason for his skeletal nature).

In Blackjack, Aces have a numeric value of 1 (matching his stats) or 11 (the same number of unique pre-battle dialogue from Sans, though this may just be a lucky coincidence). The Eleventh Hour is an idiom meaning nearly too late. Sans’s fight is your last possible chance at quitting before the world ends and your game gets corrupted.

Remember that bit where Sans has toilet paper? In the Card Castle, you can see that a bathroom, the Royal Flush, is occupied. Darkners have to digest their food. On a related note, the royal flush is a poker term for an A(14), K(13), Q(12), J(11), and 10 hand. Interestingly, in the sequence before his “special attack”, we see Sans disappear and reappear at the edges of the screen 14 times (again, probably just a neat coincidence).

The ace is paradoxically the least and most valuable card (in Blackjack, Poker, etc.), paralleling Sans being the weakest and strongest enemy.

Ace of Spades also represents “an end”, and Sans is there at the end of our journey, judging us before Asgore’s fight. He is also responsible for initiating the phone calls at the end of every neutral route.

Okay, this one is a little bit of a joke. In this deleted tweet, Toby said that Sans would be too lazy for sex, causing fans to speculate that he is “ace” lol.

BONUS: Sans was originally intended to run a casino. This one’s a bit self-explanatory. Also explains his poker face.

The most important piece of evidence, however, is this: the French expression fagoté comme l'as de pique means "(badly) dressed like the ace of spades." Checks out.

On Gaster Blasters:

Gaster Blasters might have a spade motif. If you connect the natural curves of the eyes and the top of the nose ridge, you get a spade shape. The GB's crests resemble King Spade's crown and possibly the neck/shoulder part of his cape.

A GB's nose resembles King Spade's when he isn't snarling at you; this might also apply to Sans if he stopped smiling (mouth shape affects the shape of their noses). 

Also on the topic of noses, Sans, Lancer, and King Spade's noses translate to the same shape in their overworld sprites.

The fog from Snowdin, which has been theorized to be either a front-facing GB or Sans' face (and honestly I lean more towards it being Sans's face because of the eye shape) has a hidden line underneath and above the nose. Perhaps Sans resembles the Gaster Blasters and the Spades more than we anticipated?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM.....

#undertale #deltarune #darkner sans #deltarune theory #undertale theory #lancer #chaos king #sans is the ace of spades #long post #cellytheory

[in-tua-deep]

What are your thoughts on Vanya’s book? I’m torn between knowing it was an empowering thing for her and being like damn girl, you were all abused, not cool putting that out there without their consent. The lines I’ve seen from it were about how Vanya’s siblings treated her but I don’t see how she can talk about their childhood without the abuse coming up. Do you think Vanya would have to apologize for the book as part of improving the siblings relationships?

I think that Vanya’s book was very important for her to write - for herself. I don’t think she should have published it without the consent of her siblings, because Vanya does not exist in a vacuum. If you think Allison was not absolutely grilled over the contents of that book in interviews and it didn’t continuously pop up in her world you’re wrong. And anyone who both knew the other siblings and read the book might make comments or ask questions or make assumptions. Vanya wrote an entire book about how terribly she was treated and then pointed the finger at her siblings.

Because the issue is this: Vanya was abused. Horrifically and terribly abused and neglected. She was drugged for the majority of her life against her consent, frequently emotionally abused and belittled, and isolated from the rest of her siblings. She has a right to be angry. BUT. That does not erase the fact that her siblings were all also abused and victims. And Vanya was so wrapped up in her own pain she couldn’t really see that. 

Of course, the reverse is also true. The others were all wrapped up in their own trauma to the extent that they never considered Vanya’s point of view or the ways that Vanya was being abused.

But imagine for a moment that you father raises you as a child soldier. You and all your siblings except one. While you’re running drills and learning to fight and gathering bruises and the only time you’re allowed to yourself is half an hour during the weekend - the life of the one sibling who is allowed to pursue her own passions (violin) and is generally ignored by your drill sergeant father seems to have it pretty darn good wouldn’t you think? You’d give your left leg to be invisible or not be forced to do the training. You’d give your left leg to have her freedom.

And then she publishes an entire book painting you the bad guy because, what, you didn’t include her in your half an hour of freetime? You had better things to do trying to survive your father’s regime than take a few to play happy family with her? You look at this book and ignore all the emotional abuse and gaslighting that she’s highlighting because you think she had it easy, and she’s saying in here that she was jealous of the attention your father gave you. Jealous. As if gaining your dad’s attention was ever a good thing. 

She spills a whole bunch of family secrets. Discusses your brother’s death, something you find very private (maybe you even witnessed it and she didn’t), with the entire world. She drags up all the shitty things you did as a child. A child raised in an emotionally and honestly probably physically abusive household from which your only adult human role model was your asshole father. He built you a robotic mother who obeys his orders and parrots his words. The only other person is a chimpanzee who also only ever seems to regurgitate Reginald’s ideas and always defended him even though he was hurting you. Abusing you.

Vanya deserved to write down those thoughts and discuss them. With a therapist. Or friends. Or anonymously!  Maybe a blog and give everyone pseudonyms and work through it that way. Because like it or not, her siblings did hurt her. They probably gaslit her about how bad things were, blowing her off because clearly her life wasn’t that bad. And they’d probably roll their eyes and call her lucky that she wasn’t included in training anyway. And Vanya would have to grit her teeth and smile and agree because it’s six against one.

Vanya was abused. But that doesn’t mean her siblings weren’t equally abused. Honestly I bet if Vanya had called up Diego and was like “hey I’m writing a whole book about how much growing up with old Reggie fucking sucked, thinking about publishing, wanna help?” Diego would be the first one on board like “HELL YEAH let’s ruin dad’s whole career I have like, seven stories about child endangerment off the top of my head let’s go”

the book we deserved to have was a collab by the whole family offering different points of views and discussing the trauma their siblings didn’t get to see - like private training. 

So what I’m saying is that Vanya does write a sequel to her book. Except this time it’s with everyone sharing. That’s the apology. The opportunity to set the record straight with what they’re comfortable sharing with the world. 

Luther can talk about never feeling good enough, can talk about his isolation at the top of the pyramid and his relationship with Allison who was also there. He can talk about impossible standards and his father never using his name. Strained muscles and terrible testing. The nonconsensual body modification and the isolation on the moon. The realization that four years of his life had been wasted because his dad never even bothered to read the reports - he didn’t even care enough to try. He can talk about the fact that he was so raised up as a child that he feels like a failure at everything he does now. 

Allison can talk about her father forcing her to rumor her sister when they were both four years old. She can talk about the training, having to rumor her siblings and then later the random people Reginald would bring to her. Delivery men and door to door salesmen and girlscouts who were always rumored to forget after. (And then the homeless people, the people no one would miss. The ones who weren’t rumored to forget after because they didn’t go home. She doesn’t write about them though). She can talk about rumoring her way through life and never learning how to get anything without forcing people to give it to her. Constantly on the offensive. The way that’s impacted her career, her relationships.

Diego can talk about never being good enough. His stutter that Reginald had no patience with. The training, being forced to throw knives at the one person in the world he really truly cares about as she smiles at him with her plastic smile. Trying desperately to keep Klaus from drowning under the weight of Reginald’s expectations when he was barely treading water himself after Ben’s death. Leaving the first chance he did and never looking back. The way he still tried to prove himself by joining the police academy, and when he failed at that by becoming a vigilante. 

Klaus can talk about his father throwing him in a fucking mausoleum. Being scared of the dark and claustrophobic. The ghosts he sees screaming behind his eyelids and sometimes even when his eyes are open. The one escape that he found being looked down on by everyone around him when he was only doing his very best to survive because the sad truth is that he could not live that way. Not how it was. He can talk about Ben showing up after his death, and nobody believing him. Being homeless. Living on the streets with no one but a ghostly follower for company. Every moment of sobriety in that house was one of fear - and Klaus is just so very tired of being afraid. (Maybe he can bring himself to talk about Dave, the one person that made him feel safe and protected and loved and how he lost him. Maybe he can’t.)

Ben can talk through Klaus about his own life. He was forced to kill people against his will with a power he couldn’t really control and that he was afraid of. He ended missions covered in blood that he never wanted to shed. Then his death which was reportedly very bad. Then showing up again and only being able to talk to Klaus. Not being able to hug him or stop him or intervene - forced to become a spectator to his brother overdosing over and over again. Loving him but being so angry that he’s squandering the chances Ben wishes he could once again have. 

Five can talk about growing up pushing the boundaries and the way the others only seemed to notice when Reginald praised him and never when he was punished. And he was punished. Reginald tried over and over again to get Number Five to come to heel and never quite succeeded. Every point Five gained in his own personal score was gained through blood and bruises and willpower. There’s all that to talk about, and then there’s the time travel and forty years of isolation and Dolores and becoming an assassin and his plethora of issues regarding that he doesn’t even need to get into to make a whole book of his own. Coming back and seeing that cold portrait sitting on the mantle and knowing that Reginald used his presumed death in order to further control his siblings. 

And they write it together, sitting in the living room and contradicting each other’s memories of events (”No, Dad caught us because you tripped on the table!” “Nuh uh! It was because Klaus was whispering too loudly!” “Actually guys looking back I’m pretty sure Dad just checked the cameras and noticed us leaving.”) and maybe they don’t publish it! They don’t have to! Or maybe they do, taking out all the bits about, you know, murder and all of that sorry Ben they could probably just downgrade the language to ‘hurting a lot of people’ though I mean. He’s dead it’s not like they can charge him with excessive use of force at this point. 

And it’s a bonding experience. And they all come out of it better understanding that they were all traumatized and abused and groomed and gaslighted and neglected and just overall their childhoods were shit. Five will defend Vanya’s book with his fucking life and probably is instrumental in making the others see that just because her abuse looked different doesn’t make it less valid. And he’s also instrumental in making Vanya see that just because the others abuse looked different doesn’t make it any less valid, either. 

Do yeah, have enough material for a sequel? There’s enough material for a fucking series. 

Honestly though genuinely do you know what I think would have been a way better and more empowering move on Vanya’s part? Writing a fiction novel about an ordinary child in a world of magic and superpowers who saves the world. Writing about her own life through the lens of fiction. Basing her characters on real people, yeah, but not writing a tell all book about people whose lives it would very much still affect. Plus, I bet the others would actually read the book at least and recognize it. 

I mean, if they read an entire book about a character who was excluded and belittled and ignored and told she wasn’t worth anything because she wasn’t special in the context of this fictional world, I think they would sympathize. And then if Vanya told them hey, actually this is me projecting and I really did feel this way a lot then it might go over a sight better than hey I’m writing about our childhoods and all your friends are going to read about it

and honestly?? I think that’s a story that needs to be told to other little girls as well. Maybe they aren’t literally being told they’re ordinary because they don’t have superpowers, but there’s a lot of girls who are told they aren’t special and can’t do things and having an ordinary character save the world is an important and inspiring narrative. And it might help Vanya get some closure, because she gets to come up with an end to the story. Wish fulfillment. She gets to write about an ordinary little girl who saved the world. Or maybe she didn’t save the world. Maybe she saved her piece of the world and left the rest up to the people with powers. Small acts of kindness that change everything, for some people.

(and it would reach more people than whoever reads autobiographies and memoirs)

I have a lot of feelings about the book as you can probably tell lmao

I just think the book could have been handled better on Vanya’s part. But I also think she had a right to write it because she had a LOT of stuff to work through. Honestly I think the book originally began from an exercise her therapist gave her and took on a life of its own until it reached the publisher. But like I said, she doesn’t exist in a vacuum and her actions have effects on other people - specifically her family. 

Granted, it’s not like I’ve read the book in its entirety and can’t judge it because of that. But the others had a right to their privacy and I don’t blame them for feeling angry and betrayed because of that invasion of privacy I mean damn. And I doubt Vanya put any of the good stuff in there really, mostly bad. Because that’s how she was feeling.

(If I wrote a book about my childhood with my brother - I could talk about how he sold our joint runescape account without consultation despite all the hours I put in. I could talk about him chasing me through the house or eating my chocolate that I was saving. I could talk about some of his shitty views and his self-isolation, how he would call me stupid and never let me play with him. When he purposefully ditched me in Mini-Amsterdam when I was six and I had to find someone to call my mum for me. Maybe the time he left me on the school bus when I fell asleep next to him. When he pushed me into a bank of nettles, ouch. Or I could talk about how when my balloon popped when I was seven, he gave me his balloon. Or the time he won me a toy starfish on a crane machine. Or when he took me to school after my surgery so I could pick up my homework and when I went back before I was ready he was the one to pick me up again. Or the time when my sister and her friend were being horrible and he let me hang out with him and his friend in their secret base even though he usually didn’t give me the time of day.)

At the end of the day, you can frame people any way you want, and Vanya was going for the bad stuff. Because she was hurting. And she hurt them. And she needs to acknowledge that, so yeah I do think she needs to apologize for writing the book without asking or consulting in order to improve their relationship. I think the others need to apologize to her as well for what little shits they were as kids, because their own abuse is a reason but it doesn’t excuse what they did, either. Vanya was abused and they hurt her and they need to apologize for that. But that didn’t give Vanya the right to hurt them back, so she has to apologize as well if that makes sense??

I dunno this ended up longer than I thought it would oof but I hope it answers your question!!

#ask me #anonymous #far tua long #i ramble so much smh #tua #the umbrella academy #vanya hargreeves #vanyas book #abuse tw #child abuse #drug tw #reginald hargreeves a+ parenting #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves #number five #i have a whole lot of feelings tbh

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card S1

Not to be someone born in the 90s but wow this is a change from the more simple animation style new anime truly likes things shiny, intensely bright and round lmao

Ah I guess the prologue is just a reanimation of the original anime finale? That’s fair it helps you reintegrate if it had been nineteen years for you

“That way, you’ll realize who you consider to be your Number One” Eriol’s advice has gotten less cryptic since he stopped lying

“The person I love the most... is you” Lmao didn’t Syaoran ALREADY do this confession in the final battle this is like in Naruto the Last where Naruto just forgot that Hinata had already said she loved him

Fdshkfjhkjdfhksjhfkjh wow Yukito appearing with a flower background and shine effect and softened face is this a style choice or is this just Toya Vision™

I think Toya’s voice IS different rest in pieces I still respect u bro 

“How do I feel about Syaoran” [Pan across Syaoran in floral background] It is a style choice how very shojo manga of you

I’m really very confused by the references to Tokyo Tower bc I’m pretty sure they were battling at Tsukimine Shrine did I miss something??

No I just checked it was definitely at the shrine in the anime did THEY not check or were they like ‘hmmm not enough drama only Tokyo Tower for our battle backdrops pls’

This is the third or fourth flower backdrop in the first ten minutes jkhkdjhg the floral effect artists said ‘I WILL BE SILENT NO LONGER’:

I DO NOT understand the chronology of this the bear exchange was the last scene in the anime is this before or after the finale???? If it’s after then why is Syaoran still in town

Rjhkjhgkj is the entire point of redoing this episode so Sakura could also give Syaoran a bear

“Toya was too embarrassed, so he had me bring it over and went back to his room” Lmao @ Toya sending his boyfriend to be nice to his sister in his place 

If this show does not stop the floral cutaways I will not be able to take it seriously it is Ouran High School Host Club levels of intensity jdshfkjshdfkjhsdk

“Will you wait for me?” “Yes! I’ll wait! I’ll be waiting!” I think they threw out all continuity just so they could establish that these feelings were for sure mutual for the setup of the sequel series

That, or the original series so heavily discarded manga continuity that they are trying to walk it back to something more accurate without any real explanation

Rffkghkfghkdfhgkj if they’re referencing the original anime bear scene what was the point of that stupid prologue SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH

“My name is Mike. I’m from Portland” LOL references to Americans in anime are always so funny 

“Now I can stay in Tomoeda forever” did u bring ur mom and sisters orrr

Gosh I’m actually quite thrown by how quickly this romance escalated it took them 57 episodes to just use each other’s first names and now it’s taken them one (1) episode to Commit 4Ever At Age 13

HAHAHA do they have smart phones now? Always on the cutting edge

“I Am a Stuffed Animal” some of the quirky captions ARE worth it

“Make sure you tell him... even the smallest things” Yue has become more of a romantic since he got closure and a part-time boyfriend 

“I never knew! Thanks for telling me!” “Never change, Li-kun” kjhgkjhdkj STILL MY GULLIBLE BOY some things don’t ever change

Is that a dragon?? They are really expanding this magical universe

It bears repeating the polar opposite levels of pacing from the two shows it’s only episode one and they’ve already established so many new rules and powers 

I don’t blame them for it though bc they have to put forward some kind of plot progression

There were so many visual effects in that scene I couldn’t even tell what was happening lmao it’s like reading manga battles

“But why are these things happening in Tomoeda again?” I mean not to point fingers but Syaoran’s arrival is fairly recent

“Did Wei-san come back with you” “No, just me. But he said he’d come to check on me in a while” HE’S 13?? CHILD. WELFARE. LAWS!!!!

“I wish that I could’ve used it as a reference” “For what?” “To make something that would look wonderful on you” LMAO now that Syaoran and Sakura are a thing He is Included in the outfits 

“’Great to have you’ so you can do what?” don’t bully ur sister Toya, u r both happy with your respective relationships now

WHAT ARE THE STAKES OF KERO PRETENDING TO BE A PLUSHIE TOYA IS LITERALLY DATING THE MOON

I understood “Gale” but what exactly is a “Siege” card this feels a little abstract 

“We managed to keep him in the dark” did u tho? Again. Moon boyfriend

“So it happened in her room” Did u put a protection spell on that bear or something Syaoran 

I genuinely do not tire of Syaoran and Sakura’s shared gullibility this couple is morosexual solidarity

How convenient that Sakura’s new key just announces whenever there’s a new clear card to collect lmao

I meant what I said about Toya’s love language being touching Yukito somewhere above the shoulders 

“You’ll find out when the time comes” Dfddjhfjkdhf Toya what are you going to DO 

Two cards in one episode is quite a bit for ep 3 I guess they’re trying to give her some more fighting options lol 

Is the implication of the way Sakura just happens to be coming across magical phenomenon that Clow Reed didn’t make his cards but just harnessed magic that existed in nature 

For no reason other than my own suspicion I think that something funky is going on with Syaoran’s powers

“That person was almost the same height as me” I mean so was Eriol

“Sakura and the Lovely Transfer Student” we know by now transfer students mean that shit’s about to get real

“And then you slept with your belly uncovered” “I did not!” Toya’s gentle bullying to distract Sakura is always weirdly sweet

“Your brother is so funny Sakura” CHIHARU’S RIGHT STAN TOYA

SHINOMOTO ARE YOU SHITTING ME JHDFGHDGDFDD WHY DOES IT RHYME

“I hope we can be friends” if I know anything about this show this means she’s going to do something very shady immediately

I wonder if this will be the season that Tomoyo’s filming of everything Sakura does finally becomes plot relevant

I do think it’s weird that Sakura trusted a new key without questioning it

“I’m changing back” LOL @ YUE TRANSFORMING INTO YUKITO JUST TO AVOID PEOPLE I’M STARTING TO REALLY LIKE HIM

DGSJGSJDGDJGSFFSJDHJS YUKITO APOLOGIZING FOR YUE LEAVING RUDELY THAT’S MY POLITE AND HANDSOME MAN WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE

I KNEW Syaoran was being suspicious!!! Talking about Sakura with Eriol in secret phone calls

“I came here to be ready for that time, when it comes” current theory is that Syaoran has NO powers and that’s why he is not running out of his classroom for teenage battles with the Forces of Nature

“How much has Yukito-san been eating?” “Not as much as he did when you were in elementary school, but he still eats a lot for his size” This must be a strange conversation for their dad to listen to but I like how this is code for Does Yukito Have Magical Chakra Exhaustion

“Um, I just... Phone call” said Sakura, as she was forcibly moonwalked away right in front of her friends’ eyes

LOL is Tomoyo being unable to film Sakura going to be a recurring joke 

“Don’t worry about it” “I have to, when it’s about you” Syaoran really going Full Boyfriend Mode huh

I’ve never questioned it in until precisely this moment but who pays Kero’s phone bill?? Is it Tomoyo? Who is the account holder for this stuffed animal did she establish Kero as a legal person

“Momo-chan, let’s be friends okay?” I feel like this has to be immediate foreshadowing for Momo being alive

[Cucumber cut incorrectly] “Gotta show Yuki” hjkfhksjdhfkjhd rude of Toya but the caption kills me

Ddjkhfkjdhfjkdhfkjh the pure juxtaposition of this energy:

Tomoyo: They have other things to do

Chiharu, thinking that it’s a romance thing: [Winks]

Syaoran and Sakura: [In the shadows while threatening music plays]

“I didn’t feel... anything” oh NO why r their magic senses NOT tingling

I feel like I have been had, they had an episode called the “Song of the Moon” and Yukito didn’t even show up?? Rude

SCREAM this magical FaceTime call is much funnier than I could’ve imagined

“Yukito is in a recitation club, which he takes very seriously” GDGJFGJGJHGDG Yue very respectful of not occupying Yukito’s time with magical shenanigans LMAO

“And we’ll make them the cutest oxygen masks you’ve ever seen” Tomoyo, like the background effects artists in this anime, will not be stopped

Well colour me inaccurate I guess Syaoran can use his powers and he can do a fancy new sword thing

I like this flying scarf it’s the first of the new cards with a personality

Poor Syaoran always so serious to being a Teenage Wizard is hard

Wow I bet there’s NOTHING weird about the fact Akiho lives in Eriol’s house it’s just pure happenstance (said no one)

“Could we um, go out together?” I think this is the first time someone has explicitly scheduled a date in all 80+ episodes

I really do enjoy Toya’s never-ending list of temp jobs lmao 

“Still going on, huh?” Toya’s older brother senses are unparalleled

LMAO IS THIS A 15 YEAR OLD BUTLER

Ghgjhfjfjhfjh what is the scale for these heights why is Kaito twice the height of these 13-year-olds

Unsubtle shot of this man’s pocket watch echoing Sakura’s dream

I’ve never seen a more Rich Person Reaction than Akiho getting upset that Katio, a service worker, stated that taking care of her was his job hfkjdhfkjh

“I came to Japan because there was a book I wanted”

1. VERY Rich Person thing to say

2. Wow I wonder which of you has a MAGICAL BOOK that’s been doing weird things lately

“What language is it” “I don’t know, but I’ve learned to read it” me when I hear people speak South Asian languages LMAO

Why does everyone keep referencing the Time That’s Coming? Toya, Syaoran, Eriol... they’ve all caught Mizuki’s affliction of vague and unhelpful prophecies

*One more go to jail Mizuki for the road

I hope that these stupid FaceTime calls with Yue are in EVERY episode from now on

Does the fact that he’s listed as Yue-san in Sakura’s phone mean that there’s a phone for each personality omg

OMG I just realized the ep title (Sakura’s Thrilling Aquarium Visit) must be a throwback to “Sakura’s Heart-Racing First Date” which was not a date but took place at an aquarium. Cute!!

GJHGSHJGFSGH Yue is me whenever people talk about video games:

Kero: Hey, Yue, play an online game with me

Yue: [Hangs up immediately]

“I made you wait” “Nah, I got here too early. It’s still twelve minutes before our meeting time.” I think she and Yukito had this exact exchange in that early ep

“She doesn’t have magical powers, but she’s oddly perceptive” I hope that Meilin’s one and only magical power is precognition lmao

Omg every time someone in this show speaks English I am so thrown 

“I wasn’t sure how I should look at him” awww Syaoran trying to re-establish himself in the family

I guess this aquarium HAS changed in that it developed a security system for when the tank breaks [youknowwhathatisgrowth.gif]

LOL I guess it’s convenient to have an invisibility cloak when ur breaking and entering I was wondering how they were going to deal with their criminal behaviour in the age of cameras

Ep 10. Sakura’s Unbelievable Juvenile Detention Centre

Weel weel weel looks like Sakura isn’t the only one with new powers nice ice Syaoran!! I missed their tag team fights

OH MY GOD IF THIS PHOTO ALBUM ACCEPTS THE CONTINUITY OF THE SECOND MOVIE THEN SAKURA AND SYAORAN HAVE ALREADY! DONE! THEIR! CONFESSIONS! WOULD YOU PICK A LANE

“You want the person you like to eat good food” Besides the fact Kaito is twice your height and therefore probably an adult... u should not make advances on people u employ - this is all very bad-vibes-no-jutsu

I am shocked that it took this long for Sakura to notice that her new cards paralleled the old cards

Syaoran is staring at Kaito like he murdered his spouse in a previous life 

“So he has Moon magic too?” UHHHH WAS SYAORAN’S MAGIC ALWAYS MOON-BASED I FEEL LIKE THAT’S NOT CLEAR

Also very unclear why Eriol keeps leaving her on read if he’s talking to Syaoran what

I love how Kero has independent friendships and communications with both Yukito and Tomoyo lmao

How many times has Penguin Park been destroyed by now

“Perhaps your dream is gradually progressing” Progressing into what exactly the Battle of the Nice Thirteen-Year-Olds

Why is it that magic in this universe comes with above-average athletic ability LOL

Once again, without a body/personification, these cards seem harsh

Kaito seems like too much of a red herring a la Mizuki so I’m going to assume the other presence we see is someone we either haven’t met yet or smth really fucked up with the rest of the main cast 

I’d lose my mind if it was Toya but I genuinely hope not he’s too nice

I honestly missed Meilin ever since she chilled out a bit she’s very fun

“The emoji in her message definitely looked thrilled” [Bob Dylan voice] For the times they are a-changin’.....

“I don’t know when it’ll happen, but when it does you’ll know” Toya.......

Toya’s absolutely nonplussed reaction to his Moon Boyfriend never ceases to amaze

Yukito: [Sighs and floats into the air to wrap in a wing cocoon]

Toya: [Sitting and staring unfazed] 

Also am I crazy or was that transformation on purpose bc it really had the energy of ‘Fine if you won’t talk to me maybe you’ll talk to Rude Magical Me!!’

“Did I change again?” GUESS NOT LMAO 

Also it’s fun how as different as Yukito and Yue are, their shared brain cell says ‘TOYA COMMUNICATE WITH MEE’ 

“But ever since Syaoran came back, he’s had something important on his mind” People don’t give Sakura enough credit for her emotional intelligence

Can we take a minute to appreciate Sakura’s outfit fashion ICON

What is this Furry card that makes u dress up in ears and a tail lmao

“I’ll treasure [these cookies]” “I’d rather you ate them” LOL

My Furry card prediction gets more and more accurate with each passing second (even a broken clock’s right twice a day)

Uhhhhh Syaoran what did u sell to the moon devil to be able to cut through the space-time continuum

Sakura: NO THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SYAORAN

SCREAM this family and their circle of hair cutting (also if Yukito cuts Toya’s hair, does Toya cut Yukito’s? Or does it not grow bc magic jfhkfh)

“I’m pretty sure that was middle school English” Sakura hearing English is me hearing French LMAO 

“Sucks, doesn’t he?” MEILIN PLS

Djhfjkdhkjfhjk Tomoyo’s immediate rage at being the centre of attention

SAKURA DOING MAGIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE OMG

“Surround the entire mansion” Very subtle Sakura I’m sure no one in your whole town will notice

“I hear her father specializes in archaeology, so he might have some interesting books” “Have I mentioned Sakura-san’s father to you before?” [Dramatic cut in music] WELL

Oh my GOD did Kaito just turn back time bc he regretted what he said immediately? Honestly a mood

Also: BITCH

“You’re so alike, and not just because of your names” I have to say I’ve been thinking since her first appearance that Akiho looks like Nadeshiko so if they’re not related I will be surprised

“Sometimes watching good people makes me feel sad” well damn Meilin

I’m going to guess this Teenage Robot is the equivalent of the fight card that Meilin fought upon her introduction

Aw HELL YEAH SAKURA AND MEILIN TAG TEAM FIGHT WOOOO

“Aren’t you and Syaoran doing too much for those you care about, and forgetting to care about yourselves?” WELL DAMN MEILIN U R THE NEW TEENAGE SUPERHERO THERAPIST

 “Can I call you ‘Sakura’ from now on, too?” AHHH THESE KIDS

LMAO AMAZING IT TOOK 13 STRAIGHT EPISODES FOR MOMO TO EVEN TWITCH

“We are indeed progressing... toward that time” I feel THREATENED

Once again I cannot stress strongly enough how much I love physical comedy

Sakura: They don’t seem to be causing any harm

The dessert rolls:

GOD the roll cakes eating each other to form one giant monster Babushka doll roll cake jhfjkdhgkdjhgkj incredible

EXCUSE ME MA’AM WHY WAS THERE A DEMON GIRL IN THE REFLECTION OF THIS SHATTERED CARD 

“Please laugh again” Akiho is v nice I really hope Kaito isn’t mean 

“Once a magical contract is formed, it can’t be broken, unless something really serious happens” [Quirrel voice] Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?

“What do you feel” “I think it’s a card” Very observant Sakura I think they gathered that

When Sakura gets all four of the base elements is Momo going to turn into a 200 pound giant rabbit

I like that every time Toya is concerned about Sakura, Yue appears suddenly to discuss the matter seriously with him [Gay and Wondorous Life of Caleb Gallo voice] He’s in this relationship!!

“When you’re angry or upset, it shows on your face, even if you don’t say it” Yue IS in this relationship woooow

“When humans realize they’re talking to a fox, they won’t sell you mittens. In fact, they’ll catch you and put you in a cage.” UH who is the fox in this metaphor not Sakura I hope???

Years later Syaoran is still winded if Sakura makes too much eye contact khgkghkjg 

The fact that Yukito reads at a children’s hospital... truly one of The Nicest Not-Humans On Earth

Well with each passing episode we have less and less reasons to trust these cards and Kaito the Young Magical Butler

Ever since Kaito reversed time, I cannot shake the persistent thought that Akiho IS Nadeshiko. That’d be weird but u know... I’ve seen this show do weirder

“Your sweets look better” “No, yours!” Grandpa witnessing this date

“Also if Sakura-chan goes to college or wants to do something else, he wants to help” TOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“Any further, and you won’t be able to return” NADESHIKO BE MORE SPECIFIC 

“It was my robe” Wait what ur family is a magical society or smth and somehow u don’t know Akiho??? How in the whomst

Everyone in this anime is like, ‘Haha Yue looks mad’ as if Yue does not look mad every second that he’s alive

KHKJHKFJHKJFHJ GRANDPA MASAKI REALLY GONNA GIVE SAKURA A HOUSE AND TOYA NOTHING LMAO WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE THE LEAST FAVOURITE GREAT-GRANDCHILD LOL

“Nadeshiko would talk to things that weren’t there, and try to reach an understanding with things that couldn’t talk” 91 EPISODES LATER AND MR. KINOMOTO FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGES MAGIC?? OKAY

AND HE KNEW BOTH SAKURA AND TOYA HAVE HAD MAGICAL PROBLEMS FOR 3 YEARS!!! MR. KINOMOTO WHAT KIND OF HANDS-OFF PARENTING

“I want me to tell me [about your pain] too” wow this is the CALL-OUT EPISODE

“The house they live in was once torn down and replaced with an amusement park” were the continuity errors of accepting the second movie... A PLOT POINT?!?!?!

DAMN U KAITO I REALLY WANTED THINGS TO BE OKAY FOR AKIHO

“But I’ve got a great poker face” “Yes you do. But Yue does not” JKHDKJGHKJSHGKJHDKJGHSDJGHKJH BY DIALOGUE ALONE IT’S LIKE WHENEVER ANYONE SEES YUE’S FACE TWITCH IT MEANS HE’S HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN

Yue: Evil magic looming overhead is bad for your wifi signal actually

“I will obtain these new cards. So I can use the relic I took from the association to activate that magic spell” Kaito really laying out his motivations out loud in a library. Insensible. Vague and probably misleading. 1/10 villainous monologue 

Sakura’s powers are WILD she can duplicate the strength of her magic 

“Power that’s too strong will bring unhappiness to its owner” SYAORAN :((

I feel like the only way this can end is Toya giving Sakura magical noogie so she doesn’t have to carry all of her powers like the reverse of what he did for Yue-kito 

THERE IS TOO LITTLE TIME LEFT IN THIS SHOW FOR ALL THE ANSWERS I NEED THERE’S ONLY 20 MINUTES AHHHH

THERE ARE 12 MINUTES LEFT AND STILL NO ANSWERS!!! WHAT HAPPENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I GOT ABSOLUTELY NO ANSWERS OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!

#ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblog ccs #liveblogging #long post

[dongiovannaswife]

Legacy; Vampire!Giorno Giovanna x Fem!Reader (Teal and Burgundy prequel.)

Side note (READ AFTER, SPOILERS); Alright, here we go again :3c JJBA is highly characterized by mentioning and playing with concepts such as the correlation between fate, destiny, coincidences, opportunities and luck. In some way, this piece happens around these, playing and suggesting some things (I’m sure you’ll be able to identify which scenes play around which one, dear reader). Here’s a little statement I want to make; the scene where Giorno feels a headache is a callback to Dio using the stone mask. I’m sorry if Jolyne feels out of character, I haven’t read part 6 and for what I’ve seen, she’s portrayed like this by some fans? Idk, sorry. Last, “destiny” was wrote in June, and “Fate”, “Legacy and the unnamed sequel were written between October 23-30 (same year), so the change is pretty noticeable and I feel deeply worried about it, but I think that rewriting “destiny” would be useless, since I feel like the emotions poured in that won’t be replicated this time, and maybe the concept doesn’t ring too good. Anyway, enjoy! Warnings; PTSD mentions, body horror (light, but still, take care), nightmares, blood.   Feedback is always appreciated. The slow, pleading, arguing, begging and crying sound of Jeff Beck’ guitar solo during his interpretation of cause we’ve ended up as lovers fills the silence of Giorno Giovanna’s office, don of Passione for eleven years now, bringing a tone of presence to the enormous headquarters he’s in, after giving some of his soldatos a pair of missions and after a long and tiring meeting with La Squadra di Esecuzione. The young don behind the desk, the one who once looked thin and weak has come to hit a growth spurt after turning seventeen, looking like the man of the photo he still carries on his wallet, Dio Brando. A man he doesn’t know about, but one he’s created his own expectations in order to have an image to follow, even if he doesn’t say it out loud; it’s a secret he’s been keeping as deeply intimate, part of the child he never got to be, but that still resides deep within his heart. The non-so typical hairstyle form back then now replaced with his locks surrounding his shoulders, contrasting with the variety of well pressed suits he uses now.

Polnareff, Passione’s consigliere, pointed out his physical similarities with Dio Brando some time ago, proceeding to talk in little details about him, and if he was trying not to break down and scream at him for the actions of that man, it was clear by the way his voice wavered that he was still feeling the losses, maybe not because he felt culprit, but for the things that could have been about their lives. Maybe, Iggy would be with them now, or maybe not; maybe, Avdol would be still working on his shop, or maybe not. Maybe, Kakyoin would have been working as a CEO, maybe not. Everything about it was based around suppositions. Suppositions Polnareff could only think of, swallowing sadness and regret.

The Speedwagon Foundation found Giorno a couple weeks ago when unfortunately, one of the traces of the drug dealers they have just took care of leaded to him. Soon, a letter from Jotaro Kujo arrived three days before the actual events, signed by a cordial extent to meet him, alongside the members of the Joestar family; a petition of Joseph Joestar. In a way, it felt like destroying the stone mask through Murolo was useless, he could have easily done it himself, and all this cordiality could have been avoided. Giorno signed the last page of what seemed to be a directory, but it was, in fact, a compilation of the reports regarding the incidents with drug dealers around Naples when the doors opened and a well-known face appeared carrying the folders with the reports about each one of the members of the Joestar family. Getting up from his desk to greet her, Giorno took the folders and lay them on the mahogany wood desk, turning around to greet her completely with a kiss on the lips and a smile. (Y/n) straightened the collar of his teal dressing shirt, that seemed like a compliment for his eyes, the fabric making his eyes seem like the loveliest pieces of jewelry in all Europe. “Thank you, bella.” He says, kissing her lips again before turning around to take one of the folders, opening it and leaning on the desk behind him. Each report has annexed photographs of the persons and relatives, as well as the events mentioned, allowing him to get a more expanded view and judgment. The Joestar family didn’t seem to be a big family, but the links and powers associated with it were big and impotent. It seems like being born in that family is a sentence to do something big. Starting with Joseph Joestar, the older man that started all of this. Age: 93. Fought against an ancient and superior race of Aztec warriors found in a Mexican temple around 1939, their existence was linked directly to the stone mask, and the searching of a mysterious jewel. Joseph was a hamon —the power of the canalization of the energy residing in breathing, —  and a stand user. Occupation: real estate. His wife is Suzie Q, his biological sons are Holy Kujo and Josuke Higashikata —from a relationship with a Japanese woman, Tomoko Higashikata. — His adopted daughter is Shizuka Joestar. His parenthood towards Josuke Higashikata was recognized until 1999, when he traveled to Morioh with his grandson Jotaro Kujo. Humming to himself, Giorno closes the folder, taking the following, (Y/n) leaning on the desk, gazing at the folders casually. Jotaro Kujo, Age: 43. Stand user, killed Dio Brando in 1989. Giorno frowns at the line, of course he knew Dio Brando was dead, Polnareff have said it back at that time, explaining briefly that he was an evil man. His daughter is Jolyne Kujo and has an ex-wife. Marine biologist at charge of the Speedwagon Foundation. Josuke Joestar —Higashikata for his mother, Tomoko Higashikata. — Age: 30. Stand user, nurse at the Morioh hospital. Had a direct impact in the events in Morioh regarding a serial killer and the arrow. Jolyne Kujo, Age: 20. Stand user. Student. No further information.

A knock at the door makes echo in the office and the couple recognizes the three paused knocks as Mista’s message; they’re here. Looking down at his girlfriend, Giorno allows himself a moment of weakness by letting his eyes show how afraid he really is. The vulnerability is somethings he’s not accustomed to show, but that somehow always end up being one of the most comforting things he’s ever felt; maybe because he’s always looking though and untouchable that vulnerability allows him to relax a bit: more so, in her arms. Oh, her arms feel like home; if heaven could be represented as something the man knows, then that’ll be her arms: if paradise have to be summarized in feelings beyond the comprehension of words, Giorno could hold her, and feel in paradise.   (Y/n) looks up at him, gazing through her lashes lovingly, and noticing his expression, her lips curl upwards in what he interprets as an inspiring smile. Suddenly, it feels like everything will be okay as long as she’s by his side, holding his hand through whatever fate has to offer. Her gesture coaxes the resolve he needed and straightening his back and gifting her with a smile of his own, the boss sits behind his desk, posture proud and confident. And as (Y/n) stands by his side and puts her hand on his shoulder, Giorno speaks in that tone that screams power and determination; pride and experience. “Come in.” The door cracks open and with a nod, the first person in step in the office, now in silence after (Y/n) paused the music, is Jolyne Kujo. Jolyne smiles politely as she makes her way to the couch, but doesn’t sit and instead stays on her feet, crossing her arms. The next person is Josuke Higashikata, who smiles politely too, muttering a “Good morning” while his attention is posed almost completely in guiding Joseph Joestar to the couch. The old man nods and smiles brightly, looking tired and taking a seat in the expensive couch. Last but not less important, the one who he knows will be harder to treat with, Jotaro Kujo. The man looks at him calm for a second and then, when he seems to take on his features, his eyebrows rise and he freezes in the umbral. Almost instantly, his brow lowers and his right hand rises to point a finger at him; jutting chin and voice hoarse, violent with anger. Jotaro Kujo shifted to suspicion to shock to anger in less than Giorno expected. “DIO.” He says, angrily and with fists clenched at his sides and clenched jaw. His stand glaring at him, ready to attack. “I thought I killed you in Egypt, you bastard.” With voice filled with a dangerous determination, Kujo stays there, expectant. The tension in the room is overwhelming, and despite Josuke’s thoughts to stop Jotaro from getting hurt and hurting others, he’s not sure if he’ll be able to reach and surpass Star Platinum’s speed. Jolyne seems ready to jump between them, knowing way too well what’s happening; but she’s not sure either: Star Platinum is a though enemy, and with Jotaro blinded by rage and something more, it’s sure that it will be harder than that.

Lord knows what may happen if he attacks, we don’t know Giorno’s powers.

It may seem like a communal thought, and if there was tension surrounding them, now fear adds something to the mix, terrifying like a sniper hiding between buildings, pointing at a target surrounded by civilians. And in fact, it is; and more so, when the only opportunity to stop him falls in the minimal possibility of a coincidence or an opportunity gifted by whatever or whoever who rules the world. With her hand still pressed against his left shoulder, (Y/n) can feel the sudden and almost unnoticeable tension on Giorno’s shoulders and back, raising from the depths of his being. Perhaps Jotaro´s last statement hit something on his heart, or maybe on his moral. It’s not a surprise, but something praiseworthy, when Giorno remains on his don acting; straight back, shoulders throw back, head high and lifted chin. His voice holds respect and perhaps a bit of his charming nature slips in between his words when he speaks, not intending to sound mocking. “I think, Mr. Kujo, that you’re confused. And surely, I don’t need to explain to you that Dio Brando, my father, is dead. As you may already know, I’m Giorno Giovanna.” Jotaro stares at him, jaw clenched and brow still furrowed. Expression hard and far from calm, fueled with rage and a determination Giorno recognizes as the determination a warrior carries within him —however, this is not a coliseum and there’s not pride or luck to prove; there’s no battle to fight. —

If Jotaro had something to do or say, it all was stopped by Joseph Joestar. “You look like him.” His words are almost unrecognizable and his voice in general sounds way too raspier, his age not helping him to articulate as a young person would, but still, even if it takes a bit more of effort, it’s still not impossible to understand him. All it takes is a bit more of attention. Giorno doesn’t stop looking at Jotaro, aware of the stand still present. The don doesn’t show his own stand, merely because doing so would mean a fight. And he’s sure that fighting for the sins of a dead man wouldn’t bring him out of the bottle he’s in; of a bastard. Maybe he’s viewed by them as the same trash Dio Brando was. Perhaps they all are ready to kill him; maybe not. Whatever they want, Giorno knows it’s not about this. And if it is, then he’s ready to fight. “You look like my grandfather, just like grandma Erina described him.” Jotaro swallows hard and presses his lips in a tight line, his brow is still furrowed; silent, he steps back and struts away, Mista keeping a close eye to him until he leaves in the same way they came. “I’m sorry for that,” says Josuke, “he’s… deeply affected by that battle.” Giorno nods, looking at Mista and once the gunslinger catches his sight, Giorno looks at Polnareff. Mista nods and taking Polnareff he looks at (Y/n), silently according to take care of Giorno while he’s away. (Y/n) nods and Mista closes the door behind his back. Looking at Josuke, Giorno nods. “I understand.” Joseph Joestar looks at him with half lidded eyes and a polite but more sincere smile, and Giorno takes the opportunity to talk. “Please, take a seat. May I ask what business do you have with me?” Jolyne sits beside Josuke, who’s at Joseph’s right side. “It’s not business, actually. It’s a family matter.” Jolyne states, looking expectantly at her great-grandfather. Joseph takes his time to catch his breath before speaking. “The Joestar family can defeat anything as long as it stays together.” When Giorno arches an eyebrow questioningly, Josuke smiles brightly, trying not to laugh. Still, his cheerful nature acts. “Yeah, Giorno, you’re a Joestar.” When Giorno tries to pull up an argument regarding Dio Brando being an adopted son of Jorge Joestar, Joseph raises his metallic hand; and when he does it, it makes a clicking sound that startles (Y/n) a bit, her hand locked with Giorno’s now as she sits beside him, in another office chair. “Let me tell you about the family, Giorno. And you’ll understand.” Giorno nods and Joseph starts talking, mentioning Jorge Joestar and Mary Joestar; Jonathan Joestar and Erina Pendleton, Dio Brando and the stone mask, Robert Speedwagon, William Zeppeli; then it’s about him, Suzie Q, Caesar Zeppeli, Jorge Joestar II and Elizabeth Joestar and the pillar men; Jotaro Kujo, himself, Jean Pierre Polnareff, Mohammed Avdol, Noriaki Kakyoin, Iggy, DIO and the atrocities he committed, the families he broke and the innumerable lives he ended on his way; Josuke, Okuyasu Nijimura, Reimi, Arnold, Koichi Hirose, Rohan Kishibe, Hayato, Tomoko Higashikata, Kira Yoshikage; Jolyne, her mother and Jotaro. By the end of the story and since Dio Brando and his actions were explained, Giorno holds (Y/n)’s hand in a tight embrace, as if he’s trying to calm himself with her presence. When Jolyne excuses herself and goes out to look at her dad, Josuke turns to him, and as if he’s reading his mind, Crazy Diamond’ user speaks, “It’s not your fault, you know, I mean, everything Dio did.” “It isn’t my fault, but I know he did damage to all of you. Starting off with Jonathan Joestar, who could have lived a good and long life. It’s not my fault, but it makes me think and have a different vision of him.”

Joseph smiles, then, and with a certain wisely expression, comments. “I know how you feel, and no; it’s not your fault. None of it. In fact, I thought you were going to scream at Jotaro for what he did.”

Giorno’s shrugs, starting to feel more in some kind of confidence with them. “Justice may come for all; one way or another.”

Josuke smiles, deciding to lighten up the aura in the room, aware of Giorno’s thoughtful expression. “I like him.”

Joseph laughs, “Someone says something accurate about justice and you like them just for that?”

As father and son laugh, (Y/n) looks at him, and while doing so, he does look at her. Grasping his hand, (Y/n) tries to make him feel better. Even if she knows that he’ll talk about it later, when the privacy of their room brings peace to the don.

•••

When Giorno gazes at the photograph of Jonathan Joestar and Erina Pendleton, his heart sinks on his chest. (Y/n) sits by his side, her hand around his arm. Looking at her, Giorno’s lips open, but he’s not able to talk. (Y/n) leans backwards, bringing him with her and when he’s finally settled on top of her, hands locked and bodies fused in relaxation, he starts unraveling.

“Remember when I told you about the expectations I used to have about him?”

(Y/n) hums in approval, running her hand down his back, noting how his strong muscles shift under her touch.

“With the truth… All of them are shattered.”

His statement feels like a call for help, a desperate need to choose if the truth is better than a fantasy. Then again, the only thing that survives is the truth, righteous actions and the consequences will always come out; whether he was aware of this, the expectations weren’t created during his teenage years, but during those nights when crying was useless back at when he was six.

And now, in his adult life, Giorno feels like a child again. Discovering that he can feel something more aside from fake calm; discovering that he can be loved and love; discovering that he’s human after all,

and nothing will ever take his humanity from him

. Only fate could decide about him, but it was so damn desperate sometimes, to think that despite being powerful aside from his social position, not even his stand could ever rewrite his past or his future.

“I understand what are you trying to say, and I think, in all seriousness, that you know who you are. Your progenitors don’t define who will you be. You may have their genes, but the person you decide to be, it’s up to you.”

“I don’t want to be like him, (Y/n).”

“I know, Gio. And you will not be; who you are is up to you.”

♦♦♦

Gazing around the coliseum, he looks down and the first thing he notices is the pink suit. Then, the blood on his hands, the strong smell of the iron surrounding his face and the wet sensation on his mouth and lips; and then, gazing down when something soft shifts underneath him the terror of the pile of bodies under him is almost exorbitant. The first faces he recognizes are Narancia’s and Fugo’s. Then, Abbacchio’s and Bruno’s clothes, Trish skirt stained with blood; and then, Risotto Nero and his men; all of them dead, their bodies seeming rather absorbed off blood. Feeling his heart beating furiously, Giorno looks at his hands once again, but his hands are no longer there; what was supposed to be his hands are now a pair of mirrors; and when both mirrors are in front of his face, Giorno finally gets to see were the smell of iron comes from: his lips and mouth are full of blood; and it’s not hard to connect the points and realize that they all are dead because of him. Of the monster he really is.—

With shaking breaths and cold sweat, Giorno’s eyes open just to find (Y/n)’s worried orbs looking at him from above as she stands at his side, barefoot, her hands on his shoulders and when it finally clicks, Giorno’s breathing quickens again and as (Y/n) sits beside him, the tears don’t stop.

•••

It’s been two weeks since his hopes were reduced to ashes and the most horrible sensation of fear woke up when Giorno sits on his desk resting his eyes after the piles of paperwork he worked through the day. His teal eyes are fixed intensely on the sunset, noticing each orange and pink tone lacing the sky when a sudden pang of sharpen pain on his head makes him close his eyes and lean his head on his hand.

“Giogio, are you okay?”

(Y/n)’s voice brings him out of the exorbitant pain and seems to ease it almost instantly. “Yeah, I’m just tired… And thirsty.”

She smiles sweetly and entering the office, the sudden warm of her hand makes him realize how cold he really felt. (Y/n) frowns, and as she leads him out of his office, asks “Are you sure you aren’t sick? You’re cold.”

“Must be the lack of physical movement, cara.”

She hums, “Right then, We’ll walk to the restaurant, Mister Giovanna.”

Giorno smiles and as they pass besides the painting of the goddess of love, supposed to be the guardian of the Joestar’s in Joseph’s words, Giorno almost prays to her for not being like him,

even if the pain of his head felt like the welcoming ritual for a life beyond human understanding.

#Teal and Burgundy #vampire!giorno #vampire! giorno giovanna #giorno giovanna x reader #fem reader #fem s/o #sfw #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #JJBA Vento Aureo #guido mista #panacotta fugo #Bruno Buccellati #naranica ghirga #Leone Abacchio #Risotto Nero #La Squadra di Esecuzione

[necromorph-slayinglovemachine]

A‘IGHT GAMERS JUST FINISHED BL3

Now I can finally share my Deep Thots™

SPOILERS BELOW YE BE WARNED

Guess we’ll start off with the elephant in the room WHAT HAPPENED TO MAYA WAS WACK AS FUCK AND I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY DID THAT WTF I’M SO MAD

And to add insult to injury her death feels treated as such a throwaway thing? She wasn’t even in the damn game that long before getting Thanos’d out of existence and if you weren’t familiar with BL2 you probably wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at this loss. In fact the most emotional part of it is only implied - when you pick up Krieg’s echo logs in Konrad’s Hold (and the blessed Psyren one where Maya tells Krieg she’s leaving) it’s made pretty obvious he’s been waiting all this time to see her again and using that as motivation to improve himself. What’s gonna happen when he finds out his favorite person in the universe is gone??? I really hope this is touched upon in future DLC otherwise it’ll be a HUGE missed opportunity for closure to this whole thing

(Tbh I would’ve handled it like..... Troy steals Maya’s powers without killing her, then when you kill Troy instead of taking her powers back Maya elects to pass them onto Ava instead and lives out her life with Krieg as a normal person from then on out)

Honestly though that was my #1 biggest gripe. There was another couple smaller things that kinda bothered me writing-wise though, namely:

I love the Calypsos, I think they’re fun villains but I feel like they could’ve been pushed SO MUCH FURTHER than they were. The whole game it feels like they’re setting up for one to betray the other but it just..... never happens? For example I thought for sure Troy would’ve gotten tired of being treated as Tyreen’s lesser and turned on her to take everything for himself but he just. Like. Dies. I mean okay then whatever I guess

WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY???? We see exactly 2 of the BL2 crew (one of which FUCKING DIES), hear echo logs from one and that’s it. The fuck happened to Axton? Sal? Gaige?? You can’t just set up some major foreshadowing at the end of the Pre-Sequel (”War is coming and you’ll need all the Vault Hunters you can get”) then blueball us from a badass Avengers Assemble kinda moment. I mean I guess you could argue this might not be the war the Watcher was hinting at and that’s still to come but Idk my point still stands

Why did Lilith tell a 13-year-old to run Sanctuary

I think that’s the biggest of it for me but yea I can agree with the general consensus the writing was on the weaker side. Some pretty cool moments but y’know. I’ll live, didn’t go into this expecting some Oscar-tier storytelling and it’s not like BL has ever been a fuckin narrative powerhouse but after a 7-year wait yeah I agree it could’ve been ironed out more

Either way? The game’s been an absolute blast to play and I’ve had a ton of fun with it. Weaker story but serviceable enough to keep me going. Had some really ballin bosses (RAMPAGERRRRRRRR) and combat always felt smooth and enjoyable. Looking forward to playing more and seeing what the DLC has to offer. Hopefully we’ll get a bit of cleanup and closure on the sloppier points of the plot (aka c’mon Gearbox bring my boy home....... don’t do him like this..... give Maya the proper sendoff she deserves or y’know BRING HER BACK SOMEHOW)

#I've probably forgotten a couple things but w/e this is about where I'm at you know how I do #SHRUG EMOJI

[christophersdicc]

Christopher Velez • Perfect Illusion • @besosdecnco's 500 Followers + Writing Contest

Okay so I just got back from writing this shitty story but this is for @besosdecnco's writing challenge and it was like a "sequel" of some sort or maybe a different interpretation of the story. It was super sad. The way this bitch wrote her piece is fucking impecable. It was raw and emotional that's why it gave me a big inspo to write a different version of somesort.

Here it is, hope y'all enjoy.

* * * * *

Forever. It's the word that brings life to a thing. It brings sorrow to a person. It brings agony to an indicted criminal. But when it comes to love, it's the most precious word that you would want to hear. Sometimes, it was said in an understatement because we never know what's going to happen. But often it's an overstatement. Stating facts, or lies rather, that a person can stay on someone's side forever. And in this world full of lie, would you be able to trust this word? For her case, the answer is clearly a no. And for his case, it's an overstatement.

"We will be forever." His words are soft and vibrant. The morning makes his voice so sexy and so manly. She thinks it was the most beautiful music you can hear. As the lights in the room shoot inside the room, his eyes glimmer with joy and excitement. Another day to face with his love. His greatest love. As he slide his arms on her jawline, he carefully pressed his red lucious lips on hers, biting his lips a little that shoot million of volts on her spine. A sensation she always want to feel. Like a drugs. She getting high on it. Suddenly, a buzz of an annoying piece of technology rung and the sound is horrendous. It's a new day for both of them but they must face it together.

"Chris, you're home!" As he put his bag on the floor, he run to her finding her smiling back at him while chopping some colorful vegetables on the kitchen counter. She noticed that his usual happy and bright man, is tired but the guy still managed to hugged her one and only love. It's making her happy. Her heart is jumping up and down like crazy, a sensation that never goes out since the first day she met him in a concert in her hometown. Things get heated out as he plant his lips on her jawline, nibbling every bit of her skin, her hands grasping his hard and bulging biceps through the leather jacket, his eyes full of lust and her eyes full of love. His pants and every squeeze into her back part makes her squirm a little and it sends deep-voiced laugh from him. He decided to sweep all the stuff on the kitchen table, plates and bowl falling on the floor broken but he doesn't care. He lift her on the countertop and things went from sweet to spicy.

"I'm leaving for a couple of months for the tour, I hope you don't mind." Why would she mind? It's his dream to tour around the world and it's what she signed up for. As they give their sweet nothings and cute little chitchats on the airport, she feels a little pinch on her heart: a feeling everytime he goes away for rehersals or hang out with her band mates that. She take away or shook the feeling. It's like a part of her now. But on the other hand, he knows his mn will be living the best of life. A life that a simple girl can't give. A life that he deserved. Well, the boy is talented enough to win some shit. But you can't take away the feeling of being left. It's hard and it hurts you. She just said to herself that he's coming back. Wiping the tears that rolled down her cheeks, she received a what it seems like a final kiss to give her reassurance that he's coming back.

"Would you do the honor of becoming Mrs. Christopher Velez?" A question which she waited for a long time. And it was worth it. She bobbed her head up and down to signal him that it's a yes, because words can't even describe the happiness she's feeling. And as per usual, she's crying, but this time, it was a genuine happiness. He immediately tool the ring out of the red velvet box and shoot it into her long almost-white finger. The cold palladium ring is sending her to other dimension, a dimension where happiness is the only thing that exist and it made her dizzy for quite a bit. He got up and he immediately cupped her face and kiss the life out of her like he never did before. It was the sweeteat moment of her like, his likewise. It was a successful wedding proposal and he thought it's going sideways but it's not. A cheer was heared from around them: their family and friends, and the his band mates, supporting him and her all the way. This is the start of fulfillment of his promises.

"I thought you'll love me forever." As the tears run down her cheek, not from a happy moment but from a sorrow. His love fades. As the time goes by, every time he is not with her, every time he looks at someone beautiful, every time he forgets that he has someone home, his love for her fade little by little until it was gone. Gone in the wind. Now she alone in the place where she used to call a home, it's now an empty space: without him. Without the light and warmth of his embrace, the deep voice reverberating through the walls, the sound of cackling whenever they sit in the living room couch and playing like kids, the love is already gone. Now she believes that all promises are not made to be fulfilled or upheld forever but it was a lie made by someone who is infatuated, a word that gives you comfort but will slice your throat if it had a chance. She should've never believed in him. She thinks fool of herself.

"I'm sorry but this is the end." Unfotunately for her, he still loves him. And it hurts him more than a specimen being played by a mad scientist.  She blurted the words she used to say to him and him to her but only greeted by deafening silence. She never thought silence could be that loud. She pleaded to say the words she want to hear, just to ease the sharp pain striking through her heart but his love was just an illusion. A perfect illusion.

The regrets she felt: by the time they met, the first time they held hands, the first time they kissed. She regrets it all. All of it. Now she's holding the paper that will break the sacrament of their marriage, picking up the pen and putting her signature on it, she thought the tears have already dried but she was wrong. She still loves him and the tears that used to be beacuse of happiness is now replaced by grief. She took a one last look at him and smiled while wiping her own tears, walked straight out of the door of a corner of a law firm. This is the end. He looked at her and his big eyes shed a tear. He regrets what he did. Well, at least she will be getting a good amount of his fortune but that is not the point. He knew she will be sad and miserable but he hoped she will find happiness. The happiness that she used to give. And he thought, it was just an illusion. A perfect illusion.

#cnco #cncowner #cncowners #cnco blog #cnco fanfic #cnco fan fiction #christopher velez #jess500wc #cnco imagine #cnco headcanon #fanfic

[toomuchtimenerd]

Review for ‘A Curse So Dark and Lonely’ by Brigid Kemmerer

Aaaand here’s yet another popular retelling of ‘Beauty and the Beast’. So something to know about me - I LOVE fairy tale retellings. I grew up on a lot of fairy tales, lots of Disney princess movies (most of which are based off fairy tales or in the case of Mulan, a ballad/folk legend). I’m pretty sure growing up I had this giant anthology of a bunch of old European fairy tales that had been adapted for children’s reading. I’m pretty sure my love for magic, fantasy, and all kinds of other-worldly things stems from how much I read and re-read everything in that kid’s anthology as an eight year old or something. Nowadays, I am on the lookout for anthologies with adaptations of folk lore from other cultures. Hopefully I will soon find some that seem promising.

So A Curse So Dark and Lonely is, interestingly, not a stand-alone and its sequel came out earlier this month. I opted to stop after the first book and not pick up the sequel, for reasons that I will divulge in later. A Curse, like The Cruel Prince, has incredibly favorable reviews on Goodreads, and for good reason really. It’s just unfortunate that neither of these two books quite hit the spot for me. Perhaps in the future I will pick up the sequel for A Curse, but with the third book planned for a late 2021 release I probably will not be reading A Curse So Fierce and Broken anytime soon. Something already tells me that I may have to put recreational reading on the back burner for an extended period of time once again when I go back to school. Sadface

A Curse So Dark and Lonely loosely follows the widely known story line for ‘Beauty and the Beast’, with notable changes in that the main character (Harper) has cerebral palsy and is transported from our non-magical contemporary world to the magical kingdom of Emberfall. Our Prince Rhen does not adopt the appearance of a beast 24/7, but rather transforms into one at the end of the repeating autumn season. In his transformed state, he has a penchant for violence and generally does not retain any sense of mind or humanity. When he yet again fails to win a woman’s love, the season will restart to the day of his 18th birthday and he will have to try again with a new woman. Rhen is accompanied only by the sole survivor of his first transformation, a royal guard named Grey. Grey was given the power to go to Harper’s world and take a woman to bring back to Emberfall for Rhen to court. This entire curse was brought down by an enchantress named Lilith, who apparently exists only to torture everyone’s existence. Harper wasn’t originally chosen by Grey, but Harper witnessed Grey “abducting” an unconscious woman and chose to interfere, which leads to her transportation into Emberfall. 

So let’s talk about the obvious; the representation of disabled peoples in this book via our protagonist Harper. She has cerebral palsy, and this is made very clear within the first chapter of the book. Props to the author for not OVER-emphasizing Harper’s disability, though. I love representation, and I believe in the power of representation, but I’m not a fan of when representation goes too far and it becomes the sole definition of a character’s existence. It comes off as lazy writing when a character brings no substance or value aside from the fact that they represent some kind of minority group. However, this isn’t the case here and I think Kemmerer did a wonderful job of blending Harper’s cerebral palsy into the background, yet not enough for the reader to completely forget that she is living with a disability. There are times when Harper is in a lot of pain and isn’t able to do certain things as easily as other people can, but her perseverance/grit/determination shows us that she is still just like any other human being trying to get by. She doesn’t view herself as a victim of her disability either, it’s just something she was born with and has learned to live with. It is a part of her, and even if she doesn’t like it she has learned to accept it as a part of her. I think Kemmerer sends a beautiful message in portraying Harper’s attitude with her cerebral palsy: there is no need to feel victimized by one’s disability, and there is no need to hate oneself for it either.

Outside of Harper’s disability, she is a very standard YA fantasy heroine - hardworking, passionate, cautious, determined, guarded. Is it bad that I’m getting a little bit tired of this character trope? I kind of want to see a heroine who isn’t so perfect, and I kind of want to see someone who is a little whiny or bratty at first but then grows from their hardships and experiences. Harper, like many YA fantasy heroines, just seems to start out incredibly likable (or maybe too likable) with the perfect package of personality traits. Now I’m not necessarily complaining about this, but I definitely would’ve liked to see a little more substance from Harper outside of just “I need to find a way to get home and I’m going to keep rebelling until I do”. Obviously this wasn’t her as a character the ENTIRE book, but it definitely was more or less the only thing passing through her mind for maybe the first 40% of the book. Another issue I took with her (or maybe not even her as a character, maybe it’s an issue I have with the book itself) is her wishywashy-ness in regards to her feelings. For pretty much the entire book up until Grey takes her home, Harper at best only deeply cares about and respects Rhen. But in the last 20% of the book when Grey takes her back to Emberfall to face the transformed Rhen, Harper suddenly proclaims her love for him and is willing to pretty much give herself up to Lilith to spare Rhen and Grey. That’s a huge change in emotions, and according to the book timeline this change of feelings happens over the course of like... 36 hours or something. And then the book ends on a MASSIVE ambiguity over whether the curse was broken because Harper truly loved Rhen, or if it was because Grey had succeeded in killing Lilith. So, we went from “I deeply care for you and I find comfort in your company” to “I would DIE for you” to “did the curse break because I love you? Idk” over the course of like... 3-4 chapters? Uhhhhh. Yeah I’ve got questions.

Now I know this review is coming off as pretty negative, and not gonna lie I don’t think I was a big fan of this retelling but I certainly don’t think it was bad either. Rhen’s character development was so captivating and surprising because most YA authors generally don’t pay much attention into developing the male lead as much as the heroine. In all honesty, Harper began pretty perfect with very little room for growth so she her character progression just seemed to stagnate to me. But Rhen starts off as a meh character who didn’t seem to learn all that much from his countless failures of wooing women during his cursed time and progresses into a very selfless leader (re: true KING). He goes from isolating himself in his castle while trying to break the curse to nearly ignoring the curse so he could focus on protecting and caring for his people. I guess it’s pretty obvious that I really liked Rhen as a character, and I personally think he deserves a lot better than that ending we got. It wasn’t a bad ending, and I think Kemmerer wanted to be original in creating a somewhat ambiguous ending. But as a hardcore romance junkie I think I may have a narrow scope of what my heart can tolerate for any retelling of ‘Beauty and the Beast’. 

And finally, let’s talk about Grey. He’s not a POV character in this first book, but he’s in almost every single chapter and he plays a pretty big role. At the beginning I thought I was going to get a load of a love triangle, but thank GOD that wasn’t the case. I’m all for originality, but my mind will never be okay with a love triangle in ‘Beauty and the Beast’. It’s beauty and the fucking beast!! Not beauty and the beast featuring Ludacris!! Is it obvious that I don’t like love triangles to begin with? Yeah. Anyway, Grey is an interesting character. I kind of saw the epilogue coming, because for a side character Grey was too fleshed out and well developed (considering side characters rarely are, except for my one true love Despina from Wrath and the Dawn). But nevertheless, I quite enjoyed Grey! In the beginning of the story I felt like he served almost as a foil to Rhen. They were quite the opposites in terms of personality, but they ultimately are working towards the same goal. Watching Grey’s relationship with Harper unfold on paper was also quite nice. Unlike Rhen, Grey starts off kinda antagonizing Harper (with good reason, considering their first encounter consisted of her attacking him). Rhen is kind and very elaborate in his words and manners with Harper, but Grey very much the opposite. He speaks simply, he’s a man of actions, and is mostly very detached from his emotions. I actually felt his character complimented Harper’s character quite well (considering her own emotional detachment), and I think this is what Kemmerer was going for anyway since Harper does actually warm up to Grey much quicker than she warms up to Rhen. 

Some last thoughts to wrap it up - while I understand that Kemmerer wanted to bridge the gap between this book and its sequel, I felt that she pulled WAY too much of the spotlight from Rhen/Harper and onto Grey. The ending between Rhen/Harper felt incredibly rushed, and again I just don’t think I like the ambiguity over what actually broke the curse. I was thinking about giving A Curse So Dark and Lonely a 4-star rating for most of the book up until the end, and now I’m thinking it’s more like a 3.5 star from me. The last couple of chapters were heavily action-packed, and Kemmerer’s way of tying up the lose strings (pushing the foreign army out of Emberfall) was very creative. But the ending following all of that action was just so... bland and unexciting. It was like dumping a large tub of water on a small campfire that was just starting to grow warm. I like Grey as character, but not enough to want to read the sequel where he stars as a POV just yet. 

#a curse so dark and lonely #cursebreakers #ya fiction #ya fantasy #brigid kemmerer #book review #beauty and the beast #retelling

[kineticpenguin]

You Fat Nerds Love Memes, Right? Consume Product

Okay, so. Kemono Friends season 2. After finishing the season, and giving it some time to digest, I’m left with one overriding impression:

Holy shit this was a depressing show! Spoilers ahead.

There’s a reason I referenced RLM’s spazzout sketch about Rogue One. Kemono Friends S2 starts heavily dropping “remember when?” bits right off the bat. Apparently Kaban’s catchphrase has become a meme in Japari park.

And yet somehow Serval only retains the vaguest memories of possibly having hung out with a human “for a long time.”

Hey, remember the end of season one where Kaban and Serval were inseparable friends and had just embarked on a brand new adventure, full of possibility? Yeah? FUCK YOU. We’re gonna reboot this shit, so Serval has to forget everything. Just shut up and eat your memes.

Serval and Caracal name the new protagonist Kyururu because for some reason his stomach makes magic flute noises instead of growling. Also, he’s a boy, so that almost certainly means he’s not a Friend and his amnesia, like Serval’s, exists because we need him to be a clueless replacement for Kaban. However, Caracal immediately thinks he’s probably a human, so his objective is to find his home, even though he has no idea what it is. As a result, this season is less about animal facts and more about forcing an explanation for what a house is into every single episode.

That’s not to say this season is devoid of animal education for the kids, it’s just significantly lighter on it. The bumpers with commentary from zookeepers and other experts on the featured animals are gone, and the show usually has little or nothing to say about the various species, so you’re mostly left with the bare minimum, like “dolphins can talk underwater,” “habu snakes are venomous,” and “cheetahs are really fast but tire quickly.” Some Friends get more detail than that, and many get nothing. They’re just there.

As a soft reboot, a great deal of the first season is repeated: A human in a goofy hat and no memories stumbles into a cat Friend who agrees to help them find where they belong, they meet some Friend that want to fight each other and are barely kept in line by a big fierce Friend who secretly hates conflict and just wants everyone to get along, the owls are snooty and into spicy food (Caracal is alarmed at the spiciness but can’t stop eating), the human is pursued by a pair of Friends with possibly hostile intentions, the owls send the human to find PPP, PPP has production problems, everyone is summoned for a big fight at the end, and so on.

Kaban is now working as a scientist and leader, with the owls serving as her assistants. And that’s where things start to get depressing. She clearly knows that Serval is the same Serval from before, and is aware that Serval no longer remembers her. What happened between seasons is never explored, but Kaban misses her.

Eventually it turns out that the Armadillo and Pangolin that have been pursuing Kyururu just want to bring the poor dumb bastard to Domestic Dog, who only wants a human to play with, take orders from and protect. (For some reason, just moving in with Kaban and the Owls is out of the question). Caracal gets jealous. Dog gets badly hurt trying to protect Kyururu from the Beast, a Siberian Tiger Friend with permanent roid rage and no loyalty to human, Friend or Cerulean. In the end, Dog goes home, letting Kyururu rejoin Caracal and Serval. Why Dog couldn’t just join the trio is not exactly clear. Instead, she resigns herself to more years of indefinite waiting for a human to show up.

Kind of a downer.

Kyururu also starts having prophetic visions and/or visits from a pair of gloomy bird goth Friends nobody else can see or whatever. It’s utterly out of place and feels like a stuck anime writer reaching into a bag of overused cliches for filler.

It turns out volcanoes are shitting out a bunch of crap that makes ceruleans, and this crap has been using Kyururu’s drawing of Friends to make Ceruleans that look like Friends. This sets up the final fight when it finds a drawing that features every single Friend Kyururu’s ever met. There is some blather about what makes these Ceruleans stronger than others but for the most part it’s inconsequential. Horde of bad guys, horde of good guys, stuff happens, the day is saved.

Oh, only the Beast was brought in at the last minute to break the stalemate and then dies when a hotel collapses on her. Just, y’know. “I have no idea what to do with this subplot. Fuck it, rocks fall, she dies.”

Then this happens.

Because they just had to rub that in our faces, I guess.

Kyururu realizes that the real house was the Friends we made along the way.

He resolves to go on more helpful adventures with his Friends.

So, there’s a zillion little things to criticize, various balls this season dropped that I felt the first season got right. There are a few little creative twists here and there. But after letting it all sink in, I realized that the only parts of it that really stuck with me had to do with Kaban, Serval and Domestic Dog, and not for good reasons. That sort of earnestness and positivity from the first season are gone, and nothing good fills the void. Season one ended with a sense of grand adventure and mystery, where you wondered what Kaban would find in the parts of the world we hadn’t seen yet, and what kind of trouble she’d get into with Serval. Instead, all of that is dumped for a depressing retread.

It was, unfortunately, even was worse than what I thought it would be: I expected an uninspired, soulless, corporate sequel vaguely picking up where the last season left off. I didn’t expect it to be an uninspired, soulless, corporate soft reboot spinning its wheels.

Also episode 3 should be called PLEASE BUY A CROSSOVER DEAL FROM US, SEA WORLD!

#kemono friends season two #spoilers

[thenightling]

The reasons I don’t like the Ghostbusters remake

This morning someone in my Gothic Horror Facebook Group suggested and implied I’m not a “Real” women. The reason?   I revealed I don’t like the Ghostbusters remake.  Unfortunately Chris Hemsworth (whether accidental or not) helped restart the narrative the only sexist manbabies don’t like the Ghostbusters remake and it’s because of them that there is no sequel to it.   Here’s a list of things I don’t like about the Ghostbusters remake.   And hopefully I won’t have to reply to this with a picture of myself to prove I’m a woman (like I had to when I wrote something similar in 2016.)

1.  Queef jokes do not equate to feminism despite what some comedians want you to think. A fart joke is still a fart joke.  One of the first things you see with our protagonists is a queef joke.  For those who might not know the term.  This is a vaginal fart.  Is this empowered?  Is this revolutionary?  No.  It’s just a fart... from a vagina...  it wasn’t funny. It was crude and it felt like a joke from a raunchy 90s teen comedy. 

2.   I didn’t like the atmosphere or ambiance of the film.  The original film was part comedy and part horror and had some nice Gothic elements this remake lacks.  The original had some legitimately scary moments.  This one was cartoonish and bright and all the ghosts looked like CGI effects you might see in Casper.  No.  I dare say the ghosts in the 1996 Casper movie were more ghostly. This was more like the live action Scooby Doo in regard to visual effects.  Bright, weirdly neon, and cartoony.

2. Part B.  I don’t like the aesthetic of the costumes.  I hate that weird stripe across the chest in the uniform.  It’s ugly, it serves no practical purpose other than to make the uniform different.  And Just never liked horizontal stripes.  This is petty but I find myself staring at it and thinking how much I’d prefer the costumes without that damn stripe. 

3.  I like practical effects.   This is just a personal preference but I really do like practical effects.  When it’s cheap CGI (Computer generated imagery) you can really tell.

4.   This is something I never see anyone complain about but it bugs me.  The parapsychology is bad.   The original ghostbusters used real parapsychology terminology and theoretical physics.  I realize Parapsychology is a pseudo-science but the first film treated it as something legitimate and made it feel valid.   As someone who has studied parapsychology the remake bugged me because of it’s very bad false science.

4.  Part B.   They had a device for “destroying” ghosts.  If we acknowledge that most ghosts are human souls (as the film actually does) than you are saying they have tech for soul-destruction.  That’s (as a role player would say) too OP (over powered).  No one should have that ability.  That is ridiculously complex and teetering on dark magick even The Devil isn’t supposed to have. But somehow that came easier to them than capturing spirits?   Not to mention destroying ghosts contradicts real thermodynamics if we are to believe ghosts are made of psychokinetic energy like they say.  (“Energy cannot be destroyed.  Only changed or transferred.”)

4.  Part C.  Holtzman licking her proton blaster.  If we go by the science of this movie, Extreme Ghostbusters, The Real Ghostbusters animated series, and the original 1980s Ghostbusters movies than a proton pack is a portable particle accelerator.  You are blasting out fragments of split atomic particles making a powerful energy beam.  You lick the end of the blaster used for that right after it was active, you probably won’t have a tongue left.   I know this is fake science but this scene (which was used heavily in the advertising) always made me cringe.

5.  The lie that Ghostbusters and Ghostbuster fans were always men.  First a little background.  I’m a woman.   (Duh.)  When I was a child, my little brother and his friend George and I would play Ghostbusters.   Since I could “do the technobabble” and also really loved the character, I was the one who usually played Egon.  I loved Egon.  No one ever told me I couldn’t play him because I’m a girl.  There were plenty of other girl fans.  Which brings us to part B.

5. Part B.  Contrary to what the producers of the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot would have you think there were female Ghostbusters.  In the Real Ghostbusters animated series (successful cartoon spin-off of the Ghostbusters movie) Janine had to save the guys multiple times and even had her own uniform.  

5. Part C.  In 1997 there was a spin-off of The Real Ghostbusters called Extreme Ghostbusters.  it had its flaws but one positive was the new team was not only diverse (made up of a woman, a Latino man, an African American, and a disabled jock) but the team leader was the woman. Her name was Kylie.  She was a young and very intelligent college student whose intellect was equal to Egon’s (if not smarter as she was at an earlier stage in her career than him while matching him intellectually).  She was also a Goth and practicing Wiccan.   Why does everyone forget Kylie existed?   I’d much rather (if I had to choose one) compare myself to Kylie than Holzman but that brings us to part D.

5.  Part D.  The narrative that “Now Little girls can be Ghostbusters too” suggests little girls shouldn’t relate to or like male heroes.  I don’t mind there being female Ghostbusters.  I never minded Kylie, but I felt like this was a strategic effort to invalidate those of use that related to the male characters and liked them.  I feel a closer kinship to Egon than I do Kylie and Holzman (I love nerds) and that’s okay.  That should be okay.   There’s no reason a girl shouldn’t be able to look up to and relate to a male hero just as a boy should be able to like a female hero like Wonder Woman.   

 6.    I thought the humor in the Ghostbusters remake was stale.   A lot of the jokes in the Ghostbusters remake weren’t very fun and in fact were very old and tired.  Example: The Crowd surfing scene when the crowd scatters to allow someone to fall face down to the floor. This is a very old joke that dates back to at least the 1960s. 

7.   I know this was a comedy but certain scenes were taken far, far too lightly.   For example Bill Murray‘s character is obviously dead and no one seemed to care about that.   It’s like the film didn’t know when to be serious.  

8.    There was too much improv.  Some improv is good in a movie.  There was just enough improv in Roger Corman’s The Raven with Vincent Price and Peter Lorre but in this film it detracted from the story and was very distracting and obvious when it happened.  It felt like stand-up comedy routines going on too long.

9.     When they defeat the big bad it’s by shooting him in the crotch.   This spoils what could be a fun action sequence and reduces it to poop joke level humor of “Hehe, the ghost got a groin.”  Are we feeling empowered yet?

10.     Chris Hemsworth’s character is over-the-top stupid.  I know there are some arguments that women have been portrayed this way in movies many times but no, not really.  I can only think of maybe three women in all of cinema this stupid and one of them is actually TV, Kelly Bundy from Married with Children.  This is almost an insult to Janine from the original Ghostbusters who was snarky and smart.  And made it very clear she was attracted to Egon for his intellect and what she believed to be his secret kindness.   She wasn’t attracted to his looks and I liked that.   Now we get to Chris Hemsworth’s character who... covers his eyes when a noise is too loud...

11.  Bonus: The marketing.  I brought this up before but I really hate that even now those of us who didn’t like it are dismissed because “only sexist MRA incels don’t like it.”  I’m tired of feeling like my opinion is invalidated just for not liking a movie.   And last time I tried to explain my actual reasons for disliking it here on the Internet I was told I was a “self-loathing misogynist” and told “Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you’re not sexist against women so check yourself.”  But... but I love Wonder Woman and I like the premise of Underworld, and I liked Mulan, and Innocent Blood, and She-Creature (2001 version), and countless other female driven stories.   I’m tired of being dismissed and labeled.  And having my own gender and or feminism questioned all because I didn’t like a cheap remake.       

And there you go.   My reasons for disliking the Ghostbusters 2016 film AKA Ghostbusters: Answer the call.      

#Ghostbusters

[mst3kproject]

521: Santa Claus

Ever since they included a Christmas episode in the first Netflix season, I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that this blog will not live long enough for me to do all the Christmas movies on Christmas.  Might as well get on with it. This one goes out to @casualcollectorlightme.

It’s Christmas Eve, and Santa Claus is setting off on his annual trip to take gifts to the children of the world.  He’s anticipating trouble: a demon named Pitch has been ordered to stop him.  If nobody gets any presents, then the children of Mexico won’t see any point in being good, and will turn to evil en masse!  Can Santa, with his friends Merlin the wizard and Vulcan the smith, thwart Pitch’s wicked plot and save Christmas?

My favourite thing about this movie is its weird portrayal of Santa, and for once I actually can explain why it fascinates me.  If you’ve ever seen the movie Mothra, you probably had a good laugh at the bit set in the foreign land of Rolisica, which shows us what Japanese people in the 60’s thought Americans were like (if you haven’t seen it then for heaven’s sake do so – it’s funny as hell).  Santa Claus is kind of a whole movie about that, because when it was made in 1959, Santa wasn’t really a thing in Mexico.  The film was an attempt to import him, and so we get to see our beloved Christmas traditions through the eyes of a people who aren’t very familiar with them.  

We begin with a tour of Santa’s workshop, which is not actually at the North Pole, but floating in space somewhere above it.  In American Christmas movies the toy factory would be staffed by elves, but this one goes for another short, energetic option: children from around the world, in the form of a parade of offensive stereotypes embodied by tone-deaf six-year-olds.  This is very strange, not only because they all seem to be singing in the snow rather than working, but because we find ourselves unavoidably wondering who these kids are.  Where are their parents, and how did they end up in Santa’s custody?  Are they orphans he took in, or is this some kind of mass kidnapping operation?  Do they get an education?  What happens to them when they grow up?

When you give it a moment’s thought, however, this setup actually makes more sense than elves.  What the hell are elves, after all?  Where do they come from and why do they work for Santa?  Nobody ever asks that, because it’s just part of the mythology (and when movies do try to offer answers they’re almost always weird and disappointing).  You might as well ask why the Easter Bunny is a rabbit. That’s just how it works.  If you haven’t grown up hearing about it, though, the idea that orphaned children get raised by Santa, helping to bring joy to the rest of the world… that's messed-up, but it works.

The same applies to Santa’s collection of magical surveillance equipment, which looks like something out of a Salvador Dali sugar high. American Christmas films, like the classic Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer or even Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, rarely go into how Santa sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake.  Again, he just does.  Because Santa was something new to the Mexican film-makers, though, they felt like they had to explain it.  Their attempt tried for whimsy but took a wrong turn and ended up smack in the middle of fucking creepy.

It’s creepy in several ways, too.  I mean, the giant lips that speak in the voices of children’s wishes are an awful image, but there’s also the fact that Santa is spying on you directly.  He’s watching your dreams.  He’s listening to your whispered conversations.  He’s reading your fanfiction.  The Three Naughty Boys discuss how they don’t believe in any of this and Santa speaks to them, informing him that he knows very well what they’re planning!  Santa is Big Brother, always watching – and this is true of the ordinary concept of Santa Claus, too!  We sometimes make jokes about this but it seems harmless to us because we never delve into the details the way this movie does.

This thread of explaining things we don’t normally think need explanation runs through other areas of the movie as well.  Why does nobody ever wake up and see Santa Claus?  Why don’t our dogs bark at him?  Because he’s got a sleeping powder and a magic flower that can make him invisible. If that were as far as it went, then it wouldn’t be too strange.  I can see similar things appearing in something like a The Santa Clause sequel… except that there, they would probably have been made by the elves.  Since Santa Claus does not have mechanically (or dentally) gifted elves, it needs to provide another origin. Hence the inclusion of Merlin the Magician and Vulcan the Smith, which seems like a weird juxtaposition of mythology to us, but as far as the Mexicans know they’re all ‘American’ so they’re close enough.

Santa Claus also feels obliged to confront the awkward question of class differences.  Santa is supposed to be an egalitarian figure: he doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, only if you’ve behaved yourself.  Poor kids should therefore get just as many presents as rich kids, which is manifestly not true in the real world.  Most American movies just pretend everybody is middle-class and ignore the issue completely.  Santa Claus tries to do something with it and the results are once again, weird.

There is, for example, the never-named Rich Boy who is tired of toys and just wants to know his parents love him.  Santa makes his wish come true by drugging Madre and Padre into heading home from their Christmas Eve out, and the question of whether he got any other gifts is never brought up.  The nearest thing the movie has to a main human character, however, is adorable little Lupita, whose father is out of work.  She wants a doll for Christmas and frankly any doll will do – she struggles with the idea of stealing a rag doll from a craft market, but puts it back, and Santa rewards her by bringing her a doll her parents could never afford.

And that’s nice, but what message does it send to all the well-behaved children in the real world whose parents can’t afford to buy them anything fancy?  That they weren’t good enough?  That they didn’t write a nice enough letter or say a nice enough prayer?  That Santa just doesn’t give a shit?  There’s a reason most Christmas movies don’t touch on this.

The specific doll Santa brings to Lupita also kind of bugs me… it’s just not a good present for a child like her.  Lupita is around five or six years old.  She needs a doll she can cuddle, play with, and carry around with her, like the one from the market.  The one she gets is as big as she is and wearing a fancy dress.  That’s not a toy, that’s a piece of décor.  It’s the doll that sits in the rocking chair in your grandmother’s living room and which you swear you can see move out of the corner of your eye. It’s not huggable, if she takes it anywhere it’ll get dirty or broken, and there’s a cynical part of me that thinks her parents probably sold it the next day so that they could buy food or pay the rent on their hovel or something.

Then there’s Santa’s adversary.  American Christmas movies pit Santa against bad weather, other supernatural entities like Jack Frost, and ordinary grouches like Phineas Prune.  In this movie, the villain is the devil.  This does, I guess, make a certain amount of sense, since Santa is dedicated to rewarding well-behaved children while Satan wants to collect the souls of the wicked, but we’re just not used to this meeting of religious and secular imagery.  Christmas is a Christian feast pinned to the ass of a much older Pagan solstice festival and it has never managed to really do away with this duality.  Most people keep the Christian and folk sides of Christmas pretty separate, but here we see them collide head-on.

Finally there’s the stuff that’s just plain terrifying.  Like the creepy laughing reindeer.  Or the rather complicated explanation of why Santa must make it home before sunrise.  When the sun comes up, the mechanical reindeer will turn to dust, leaving Santa unable to return to his palace in outer space.  What will happen then?  Why, he’ll starve to death, because Santa and his helpers subsist on sweets made from clouds and stardust, and cannot digest normal food!  Wait, the toy-making children, too?  What does happen to them when they grow up?  Can they return to Earth and start eating burgers like the rest of us, or do they remain children in Santa’s bondage forever? I told you this movie was weird.

Santa Claus is not as enjoyable in its own train-wrecky right as its Martian-Conquering cousin, but it is my favourite of the MST3K Christmas episodes. The movie itself is cheerful and the host sketches are a positive delight.  I particularly love everybody’s joy at the terrible Secret Santa presents, and their all-inclusive seasonal song that distilled tumblr to its essence decades before tumblr ever existed.  The very best part, however, is the awesome Christmas mods they did for the bots.  I love the snowglobe in Tom Servo’s head, and here I am once again helpless to articulate why it’s so damn funny. 

#mst3k #reviews #santa claus #holiday reviews #(sort of) #50s #just fuckin weird

[emeraldspiral]

Real talk, the only reason Anakin had to go to Jedi school to git gud is because he needed to be a kid when he left his mom and an adult when he began his romance with Padme. If the plot had called for it, he would’ve been a Master Jedi in a week because the needs of the story outweigh the need for “realism”.

Just look at Luke. His training lasted maybe a couple of days or weeks at most because it just wouldn’t make sense for Luke to stay out of the fight for years and years. He could only train for as long as it took Han and Leia to get captured by Vader, but he also needed to not instantly lose to Vader when they fought. Therefore, the amount of time it took for Han and Leia’s storyline to play out was the exact amount of time Luke needed to get good enough to face Vader.

Afterward, in RotJ, supposedly there’s a timeskip of a year, but you’d be forgiven if you thought, as I did, that only a few days or weeks passed, since there’s 0 mention of a timeskip in the film and no reason to think it would take that long to get to Tatooine or plan Han’s rescue. In fact, it seems out of character for a dedicated Rebel like Leia to take that much time off for one person, no matter how she felt about him. But I digress. Regardless of whether it was really a year or only a few days, the fact remains that Luke didn’t have any additional training during that timeskip. He only returned to Dagobah after rescuing Han, and upon arrival Yoda was on his deathbed telling Luke he was already ready, no additional Force training or lightsaber combat instruction required.

In any event, however much training he received, it was definitely significantly under ten years and, from what we saw, didn’t even cover lightsaber fencing, at least not nearly as much as lifting rocks and reading minds and other Force skills. Yet, he still managed to overpower Vader, the strongest Jedi/Sith to ever live. Because the story required him to be that powerful at that point so that he could complete his arc by rejecting the opportunity to slay Vader.

Now, let’s consider Rey’s skills, abilities, and accomplishments, starting with the dumbest of the dumbshit things people complain about when trying to use the “she’s too good at too many things/gets too good too fast” argument for why she’s a Mary-Sue.

First of all:

Why does Rey speak droid and Wookie (as if that’s a particularly uncommon skill)? Because she needs to befriend BB-8, so BB-8 can bring her together with Finn and because someone’s got to be able to understand Chewie once Han’s gone and that someone should probably be the one who’s going to be spending a lot of time alone with him co-piloting the Falcon when they go to find Luke. The better question to ask is why anyone cares about shit like that? Like, is that on some Mary-Sue litmus test somewhere? “Is bilingual in a world where most people are?” If you’re going to complain about something that stupid I have to assume you think character writing should work like Pokemon where you have to drop traits in order to stay under a certain limit, even if half the stuff filling up the quota is stuff like “can ride a bicycle” or “doesn’t burn the house down when they cook”.

Second:

Why is she an ace pilot (as if half the characters in Star Wars, both Force sensitive and non-Force sensitive aren’t also Ace Pilots, and also as if Rey has more than ONE SINGLE flying scene or had any trouble handing over the spotlight to any of the other THREE ACE PILOTS JUST IN THE SEQUEL TRILOGY)? Because she has to be a pilot because Finn can’t be, because he had to need Poe so that he could get his jacket, in order to catch BB-8′s attention, so that BB-8 could bring him and Rey together. Also, because it emphasizes Rey’s major character flaw; that she is the architect of her own misery. She has the means to leave Jakku but doesn’t, something directly acknowledged immediately after her one and only flying scene.

Third:

Why does she show Han up on knowledge of his own ship? Well, for one thing, she fucking doesn’t. She only knows about one thing installed in the ship after it left his custody. But even if you wanted to make the claim that this was supposed to demonstrate that she was some kind of Superstar Mechanic (as if mechanics are something rare and special in Star Wars) and that the reason for her being a Superstar Mechanic is just to get Han to like her, even that has a story-related justification that isn’t just about wish-fulfillment or using a cool character to shill for her. Having Han take a liking to her creates another opportunity for her to demonstrate her character flaw when she rejects his job offer in favor of returning to Jakku to wait forever for parents that don’t love her when there’s a man she already thinks of as the father she never had right in front of her. Also, having her bond with him makes his death at Kylo’s hands more personal for her, thereby creating a greater hurdle for her to overcome in order to come to have compassion for Kylo, making it more satisfying when she does.

Fourth:

Why does she have the Force when she’s already a pilot, mechanic, and proficient stick-fighter (as if any of those things are unique or special. Or more importantly, ever used at the expense of letting other characters shine)? Couldn’t she have been a Badass Normal? If this were just about beating bad guys and winning the war maybe. But it’s clearly not. This is about the old heroes passing the torch to the next generation. The main character was always going to be Force sensitive, always going to become a Jedi, and always going to replace Luke no matter what gender they were, who they were related to, whether they were a scavenger or a stormtrooper or secret royalty or Born of the Force or who, if anyone, they were going to be romantically partnered with. Rey needs to be Force sensitive because, as the main character, her ultimate purpose is to define what it means to be a Jedi for a new generation.

Fifth:

Why can she do things with the Force without training? Well, the only reason Luke needed a training montage was because the Force was a brand new concept for him and he was limited by his own ideas about his capabilities, and because the audience was going in blind as well and needed to hear the Force 101 lectures just as much as he did. Rey meanwhile, has no reason to think lifting rocks or picking up a lightsaber hilt is hard when she’s grown up hearing stories about Luke doing much crazier things. Between that, having Kylo demonstrate all those abilities to her beforehand, and also being able to access his training through the Force Bond there is 0 reason for her to need a training montage in-universe. But more importantly, because the audience has already gotten a crash course on standard Force abilities from the previous movies, a training montage would be redundant. We don’t need the same exposition given to us again anymore than we need to see Rey repeat the same character journey as Luke. The Force Bond and Rey’s preexisting fighting capabilities may be a convenient workaround to explain why Rey doesn’t need a training montage, but they exist because a training montage would be dead weight that adds nothing to the story. And that’s just the Force Bond’s ancillary purpose. Its much more important function is getting Rey and Kylo to stop fighting and start talking.

Sixth:

Why couldn’t Rey and Kylo at least fight to a draw or better yet, have her forced to retreat in their first battle? Why did she have to beat him at the very beginning of her journey? Doesn’t that make her too powerful with no room for advancement and him too weak, leaving no tension for future confrontations?

Because Kylo’s defeat isn’t about Rey at all. It’s not about making her look good. Kylo’s supposed to be at his lowest point going into TLJ. He’s supposed to look weak, not because the screenwriters think it’ll make Rey look stronger in comparison. They know damn well that the way to write a villain is to present them as an impossible obstacle to overcome. To hide any semblance of vulnerability in order to keep you in suspense as to how the hero could ever prevail against them. But that’s not Rey and Kylo’s dynamic. That’s Kylo and Snoke’s dynamic. Kylo isn’t the villain, he’s the “other half of the protagonist”. He doesn’t exist for Rey to be afraid of him. She’s meant to sympathize with him, which means he needs to appear vulnerable and human in front of her. They couldn’t build the romantic (or even platonic) connection the film clearly intended for them if Kylo actually did come across as threatening as people wanted him to be. The appearance of physical or emotional invincibility would be antithetical to the entire story they’re trying to tell.

Also, Rey isn’t even that good with a lightsaber. Kylo had been shot with a bowcaster, injured further and tired out by Finn, and handicapped himself by not aiming to kill or maim since he wanted to recruit Rey to his side and Rey still spent 98% of that fight running and only won because Kylo chose not to kill her when he had the chance.

Believe it or not, some dumbasses have actually heard all this and still tried to argue that Rey shouldn’t be in any fighting shape after hitting a tree hard enough to lose consciousness and that should nullify all the advantages she was given. If you make this argument, you’re being an anal contrarian fuck and you know it. Getting hit in the head is NEVER portrayed realistically in fiction. It is completely standard and in no way exceptional for a fictional character to awake from unconsciousness with no impairments. It has fuck all to do with trying to make characters look cool. It never has been and never will be a Mary-Sue trope.

In conclusion:

None of Rey’s abilities or feats are just there to make her look good. They’re either there to move the story along, or to add to her characterization and character journey, or to add to Kylo’s. Furthermore, they’re nothing special in the context of Star Wars, the stuff she learns quickly has in-universe justifications and it’s not even unprecedented for characters to git gud enough to match someone more experienced in a very short amount of time with no in-universe justification.

#reylo #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #star wars #star wars tlj #tlj #the last jedi #star wars the last jedi #luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #mary-sue #mary-sues #mary-sue litmus tests #are a blight upon humanity #that have taught a generation #that writing #and writing critique #is about what boxes you tic #rather than the meaning #purpose #or execution #of the tropes used

[orpheus-type-beat]

Percy Jackson part 1

Confession time: I was a gigantic Percy Jackson and the Olympians fan as a kid, so this book is very nostalgic to me. I haven’t reread the series in a long time though, especially not the first book, so it’s very interesting to read this stuff again as an adult. I was struck with a couple of observations. First, It’s a pretty good book, which is a relief. I can defend my 11-14 year old self’s tastes, this is mostly a solid kids fantasy novel. 

More relevantly, it’s very different in tone and in execution than Rick Riordan’s later books, especially his sequel series Heroes of Olympus. Those books bounce between different perspectives, and the whole thing is written in a close third person. Moreover, they are so caught up in the lore and the universe and the Percy Jackson formula that they, I feel, lost touch with something the original series had that made it feel special to me. Rereading the first book in the series, I think I have a better understand why.

Perspective

I’m a sucker for first person narration in novels, I’m realizing. Another one of my childhood favorites, the Animorphs series (shoutout to anyone who read those), was also written in this same sort of first person. Each book began with a very post-modern, “if you’re reading this it’s too late,” exposition machine that explained the premise of the series, who the important characters were, and set up the events of the book. The meta, post-modern framing device is never fully explained (why were the characters of the Animorphs, or Percy Jackson himself, writing any of this down?), but are used as a framing device to enhance suspension of disbelief, and to enable humor (through snarky asides).

This close first person, a sort of refined stream of consciousness that feels like a combination between a movie shot entirely in one characters’ POV and a letter written to a friend, is missing in the later Percy Jackson series, I think to its detriment. Not only does the first person narration makes sense in a Greek setting — it emphasises orality, putting this book in conversation with orally transmitted greek myths — it also enhances the series’ humor. A lot of the humor comes from Percy’s wisecracking during fightscenes, which gives the series an action-comedy feel. The comedic portrayal of many of the gods and supernatural beings adds to that, but much of the comedy comes from Percy’s reaction to events, not from the events themself. This enables the events to be able to be taken seriously while simultaneously being mocked and used for humorous purposes.

The first person perspective also differentiates this series, tonally and technically, from Harry Potter (which is a much more obvious influence in this first book: he goes to boarding school, has an abusive home life, and lives in the legacy of a mysterious parental figure). In many ways, this book reads like post-modern Harry Potter — the sense of wonder and fairy tale magic is replaced with humor and a system of magic that feels more logical and rule based. Stuff like the Mist, as an explanation for how the magic in the world remains hidden, and the fact that monsters explode into dust makes this an urban fantasy, akin to sci-fi as much as fantasy. Harry Potter, in contrast, is firmly rooted in fantasy.

The second Percy Jackson series moves to a close third person narration style, and while there are benefits to this (for example, there isn’t the need for the dream sequence exposition hack, and the series can accommodate diverse perspectives more directly) I think something tonally and structurally is lost. It loses the sense of orality, the primacy to the action and humor lent by a first person narrator with a “unbelievable true story” framing device. That blending of the border between fact and fiction is what myth accomplished in Greek times, and what the original Percy Jackson series accomplished for a lot of people, and surrendering that means surrendering something special.

Disability

I had forgotten what a big deal disability is in these books. The thread of all demigods being troubled kids with mental disabilities, specifically learning disabilities, is I think really interesting and radical. We still live in a world where mental illness is taboo, but some mental illness are less taboo than others. In particular, when people say “mental illness” they usually aren’t referring to all mental illness. Usually, they are referring to a subset of mental illnesses, issues like depression, various types of anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, etc. — mood, personality, or anxiety disorders. 

Of course, those illness are all still massively stigmatized, but all of those disorders tend to leave cleverness, speech, and some behavior intact. It’s easier to “pass,” in a sense, with those disorders, than it is with other mental illness. We can understand the troubled genius better than we can understand someone who is intellectually disabled. 

That’s what makes the learning disability angle so interesting. In theory, these demigods aren’t troubled geniuses, they’re normal, unexceptional kids (discounting the water bending and sword fighting) who can’t read or write well, can’t focus, and don’t always succeed in the classroom. They aren’t brilliant, but fragile minds. They’re just C, D, and F students, with gifts that are incompatible with our school system’s expectations about the pace of learning and what achievement looks like.

These are the kind of kids we don’t tend to recognize as valuable, and worthy of being written about and made heroes. And if I remember Riordan’s impetus for writing this series was his son’s own struggles with learning disability: dyslexia and ADHD. But in the Heroes of Olympus series, this disability angle is really de-emphasized, and I think to its detriment. It loses the “it gets better” message and inclusivity to people who, even in narratives about mental illness, often get left out. 

Myth Making

This brings me to the interesting ways this book is in conversation with Greek myth, and myth in general.

First of all, having all the demigods have dyslexia and ADHD is a clever inversion of the typical Greek hero’s childhood. Usually, Greek heroes were preternaturally gifted, succeeding in and out of school, and are immediately recognized as different and special. In this book, the heroes are recognized as different, but not as special, but as lesser than. This transform the Greek hero’s sense of inevitable destiny into an underdog story — one that works for modern audiences, the way a gifted noble’s path to glory worked for ancient ones. This reflects modern conceptions of democracy, and the mobility of class, that didn’t exist in ancient times (reminder that Athenian democracy was for rich, landowning men).

Second of all, there is a distinctly non-Christian concept of cycles at play in this book, and in this series. Threat to Zeus’ rule by Titans is thematically compatible with ancient Greek succession myths. And the bit about monsters turning into dust and then reforming eventually creates an overarching them of balance: the war between good and evil is eternal and constantly shifting. The best anyone can do is try to shift the balance, temporarily, in a positive direction. This makes all of the fun bits, like locating the modern Mount Olympus in New York City, having the gods adopt modern trends, work thematically as well as humorously. There an almost Eastern theme of yin and yang, which in all honesty is reflective of Eastern influence on the Greeks and Romans.

Thirdly, Rick Riordan has one mode, it’s just the Odyssey, and that’s fine. The road-trip rompy with constantly shifting objectives leading up to some climax that reveals itself to have been behind the scenes all along is a classic narrative structure that is very ancient Greek, and so works in a story so deeply in conversation with ancient Greek myths.

Conclusion

Finally, by way of conclusion, the thing that makes this first Percy Jackson book/series work, and interesting in conversation with fantasy, myth, and stories about heroes, is one of its central themes: the deification of humanity. The gods in this universe are static, comic figures. Humans are the ones that are able to change things — that’s why the gods love them, and keep making demigods all the time — and humans are the ones, in the series, that are capable of real good and real evil. 

(Semi spoiler alert) In the last book, it is the human capacity for love, sacrifice, and good that saves the day, and produces positive change in the world. The gods are powerful and eternal, but the real source of beauty in the world is humanity, in its capacity for change, rebirth, and renewal. Gods get bored, get cynical, get complacent. They decay, eternal and unmoving. In contrast, humans die and new ones are born, and to them the cyclic war between good and evil remains fresh. Humanity can continually change without movement or exhaustion, constantly relearning the same lessons and experiencing the same joys and sorrows afresh. Gods, locked in a cycle, go around once and are bored and numbed forever, while the human experience stays continually vital and alive.

That’s why this series, despite being so rooted in Greek myth and fantasy, feels so modern and sci-fi influenced (as a huge sci-fi fan, that’s probably why I like it so much), and why this story — despite its post-modern trappings — reaches for sincerity. Gods, in the Percy Jackson universe, can’t survive on their own. They are immortal, but they can grow tired. They can be broken by endless living, and fade away. The gods rely on people to break up the monotony, to remember them and keep them alive: humans are the source of life in this universe. 

(real spoiler alert). The series ends with Percy being offered godhood, immortality, which he rejects. That’s the thematic conclusion to the entire series, and its significant. Besides true love or whatever, the reason Percy rejects immortality is that he realizes that to live and die, taking part in the cycle, is more meaningful than eternal life. Becoming a god would mean forfeiting that meaning. This is a series about gods and monsters and nymphs, but the real magic in this world is humanity. 

Our magic is thus: unlike the gods, as time streams past, we remain untouched by eternity. And I’d argue, like this series does, that that’s real immortality.