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#i need to. commit and post these ocs so i can talk about them good GOD
katsigian · 4 months
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𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙂𝙄𝘾 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝘼𝙍𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙏𝙔𝙋𝙀 ⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖
This quiz was sent to me and it hurt good bad so I figured maybe the mutuals would also wany to do it, too ♡ While my OCs are CP77 and BG3 based, you can do this for any OC from any setting. I'm going to tag some people, but if you'd rather not share your results, there's no pressure to do so! There's also no pressure to interact with this post
────────── Find the quiz here
@rindemption @noirapocalypto @spicyraeman @alphanight-vp @swanfey @quickhacked @westealtoys @mercymaker @vanoefucks @hazellblogs @seluned @kharonion @nncc77 @peaches-n-screem @balverine2077 @humberg @strafethesesinners @envergothash @duskfey @mrdekarios @feykiller @aggravateddurian @dameayliins @wilxfyre @opaleyedprince @daedricshrine @ncytiri @nokstella @ruinbringer @cyberneutral @yharnams @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @hibernationsuit @aelyosos @wistereia @leota-nexus @baldurians @togepies @florbelles @ronqueesha @roarmoreau @molochka-koshka @devilbrakers @elvenbeard @zyana-wyvern @estevnys @gortash @vayneoc
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𝙑𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙉 // 06. 𝘿𝙀𝙑𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙀𝙍 ⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖
❝ Love's a knife to skin to you, a vein to woven muscle, a blood puddle before you. You listened to all the promises of a stranger's relief and feel the drain of a shower head running it all down again. You committed another murder; kissed and bruised skin with a clench to a quivering wrist and went home in the defeaning quiet of a taxi. There's mold covered rage within you. If to take a heart home with you, you'd bite your way through muscle and ribcage first. Pleasure comes, but there will be no devouring past it. There is fear in settling down and being seen. There is a glass screen between these bodies and you. Relax your tight jaw and feel the real canine fear beneath that scabbed up cavity. The sacrifice of opening up is needed if to be loved as you deeply wish is inside. Desire doesn't discriminate between hands or spoken word. Why should you? ❞
I really liked this one for Valen specifically because it talks about how lonely he once was; how he'd find the most temporary comfort within a stranger and then go home alone to have to face the quiet again. I love how it compares love-making to a murder because there's not many things Valen likes more than leaving loving bruises behind on soft skin from kissing too roughly. He also felt like for the longest time like he had a thick glass barrier between him and everyone else - you can look, but don't get too close to me. He wanted so badly to be loved for so long in spite of how he'd keep everyone at arms' length. It was a safety measure, because the past kept coming back to remind him that when he let others inside, past the walls, all they did was grab his heart and twist. Imagine wanting to be loved so badly you ached but at the same time feared it. All Valen wants is to be devoured by another who'll keep him safe within themselves.
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𝙑𝙀𝙎𝙋𝙀𝙍 // 01. 𝙈𝘼𝙐𝘿𝙇𝙄𝙉 𝙈𝘼𝙂𝘿𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙉𝙀 ⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖
❝ An embrace with the shivering figure of a ghost. You cut your hair at 3 a.m. to change it all but it is no use. Love is a war to endure to you. You comfort and hold, kiss pressed to temple and cheek while feeling the numbness filling your nights to brim. What used to feel honorable has now become chore of breathing to sustain another. What else is love, but your lap to lay another's head into? Your fingers turn blue in the announcing dawn, the cold figure of what you used to know of yourself remains asleep next to them. Another version of you has crept out of your old body, has ripped and eaten itself out of a cast that was fused into the position of nurturing comfort. Remove yourself from your lovers before they become part of you, conjoined with your arms to anothers head you have no life apart of maudlin magdalene. You have given endlessly, but this isn't all there is to you. Acknowledge the good that has been done and let yourself be free. You deserve to feel held as well, you are more than what you can give of yourself before breaking down. ❞
This one again feels pretty fitting for Vesper. He's not like his brother Valen - he gives much more easily than he does and is more open with what he truly wishes for. But it's become more of a burden for Vesper to keep opening up his heart and not getting those things he really wants. He gives very easily, tries to support the people he's let inside, but it gets tiring when he gets not enough in return. Eventually, he does find someone who will give him all he needs and more, but everything up until that point was Vesper thinking that he had to be a giver, whether it was his body or his affection or anything else.
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mixelation · 9 months
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more rotating on this post: kakashi dating a civilian OC who has no idea he's a ninja
original proposed concept is they "meet" via icha icha fanzine. i bothered @tozettastone and they suggested that OC be a cosplayer. what does icha icha cosplay even look like? you ever seen IRL naruto coplay that's like "naruko but she wears a miniskirt and fishnets and a lot of makeup." or like fanart of kakashi where he's wearing a bellyshirt for no reason other than to show off his abs. like that, plus some very over-the-top traditional clothing for undercover work and civilian characters. everyone has off the shoulder kimono that show off cleavage and magically stay up, etc
anyway, i can't really see young!kakashi (like 18-19-20?) actively participating in fandom. but maybe he finds a zine somewhere and starts collecting them, like a pre-internet lurker. it's his coping mechanism, okay. he likes fanart. he likes bad fics. and then our lovely OC who's also 19 and fresh to being allowed in the porn section is like: I MADE THE BEETLE WING HAORI HERE'S A PHOTO. there's a note about her sorting through thousands of beetle wings to get the right colors, and also what a nightmare they are to sew, and also what should she try next, mail me here??? and Kakashi is like: oh wow, this person is insane. i have just the challenge. <3
(OC's additional notes on the haori: no one should ever do this again. just don't. you'll regret it)
kakashi is not the only person to write her suggestions, but he IS the only one to suggest something that's actually technically difficult to make, which is what she wanted. so they start swapping letters where she sends him progress updates on this insane thing she is making. he finds this mildly amusing until about a month out from the next con when her letters abruptly turn insane. she WILL premier this cosplay there even if it kills her-- listen if her wig guy isn't up to snuff she'll just LEARN HERSELF--
and listen kakashi isn't going to FALL IN LOVE but this level of commitment is something he can appreciate.
OC sends him a letter about the con (her very first one!!) and going to a con is not something he has any interest in, but like. he is curious to know what they're like, and it's nice to like? have? a friend??
they trade letters for years without actually talking about their personal life much. kakashi is not creative (no writing fic, no fanart, no cosplay, etc) but he IS really good at analysis. you need every detail on naoki's civilian outfit in paradise? he's got you. you don't understand wtf the text is talking about when it describes a weapon? he'll draw you a diagram (and not mention he knows what jiraiya is talking about because it's based on a real thing that was popular for like a month during the third war).
this goes on for years. oc lives in a small town in a little border country with no ninja, and her family runs a clothes shop, and she's deeply bored of making and altering shirts. she has a frustrating life in a very mundane way-- she dates a few guys and doesn't marry any of them and her family gives her grief. she moves to a slightly bigger city and can't get a job doing what she wants (making high-end luxury clothes and/or just insane fashion) and ends up working at a general store and doing minor alterations as a side gig to fund her hobby. she doesn't get to travel around and do cool things as much as she dreamed as a kid. she skips some cons because she doesn't always have the money and also there's a weird guy who'd been low-key stalking her. she tries selling little pre-made costume pieces at a con and doesn't even break even. only a handful of these details make it into her very serious discussion with kakashi about how the many details the icha icha miniseries got wrong
kakashi is.... being kakashi. obviously he doesn't write to her about all the assassinations he's been doing or whatever. but he doesn't mind when OC hints at her own boring problems. it's kind of nice, actually, to know there's people out there having boring problems? anyway one day she complains her landlord won't let her get a dog and he mails her a polaroid of a random dog he met in a park.
i'm thinking around the time of just before canon starts is about when kakashi is at a place where he's like..... okay with sharing some personal details? like he doesn't say a LOT but he realizes it actually feels really nice to write to someone that he's annoyed the store stopped selling his favorite pre-rolled sushi. the letters get sent more frequently and the conversation escalates at a slow, tedious pace. kakashi sends more dog pics. he tells her that he was so exhausted after work that he considered eating dog treats instead of cooking, and this feels like a very big deal to him
her: PLEASE tell me it was at least the fancy kind that look like cookies
him: obviously i would only buy the highest quality treats for my dogs
her: dogS?
kakashi: (ignores this question in the next letter)
kakashi checks his mail everyday now and he's like. oh no my feelings. but also she's in a whole other country and only exists to him in letters and that feels.... safe, somehow.
they met via a club for porn books so they don't "get together" so much as one of their very academic discussions of kink in icha icha violence suddenly turns into deeply sexual letters that have nothing to do with icha icha. there's still their normal conversation but then it's also like "if you were here now, this is what i would do to you--"
OC has been pretty good at not prying into Kakashi's life and she's very understanding of team seven making kakashi's life insane (she's under the impression her got an apprentice for whatever his job is) but she starts bugging him for a photo. kakashi is very against this at first, but then sasuke leaves and naruto leaves and sakura runs off with tsunade and suddenly he has a lot of free time and a big gaping hole in his social life. and like. he DOES really like her. they MIGHT be dating? definitely they have a thing going. so instead he asks if she wants to meet in person
OC agrees but she goes into it VERY nervous. she figures he didn't want to give a photo because he's embarrassed about his appearance, and she doesn't care what he looks like, but what if he lied about other things? what if she walks a whole day to this resort town and he's a weirdo or gross or stood her up?? but she puts on her big girl pants and also her push-up bra and goes
she wasn't actually going to sleep with him for their first meeting but it turns out he is like. hot. and talks just like his letters. and also it's way cheaper to just share one hotel room-- kakashi are you SURE you won't couple cosplay--
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usedpidemo · 11 months
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Update - 2nd year anniversary! (plus a reflection, and future plans).
Hi everyone! π here.
Today, May 13th, is the day I officially opened up this blog and began writing degenerate and immoral stories! 2 fucking years have passed, how time flies. So much can change in a year, and so do some of the stats!
First work: Sandwich - Red Velvet Wendy (published 05/13/21, 4:03 a.m.)
Highest note count: Awards after-party affair - Itzy Yuna (published 10/23/22, 1167 notes)
Number of works published: 80 fics (1 fic every 9.1 days)
500 followers: June 18, 2021 (36 days or 1 month, 5 days)
1,000 followers: October 12, 2021 (152 days or 4 months, 30 days)
2,000 followers: June 18, 2022 (401 days or 1 year, 1 month, and 5 days)
3,000 followers: November 12, 2022 (548 days or 1 year, 5 months, and 30 days)
Follower count: 3,953 followers (5.4 followers a day)
I wish I had something awesome lined up to celebrate this milestone, but I don't have anything prepared XD I've been busy and lazy at the same time. (Is that even possible?)
Actually, yeah, I do have a whole week's worth of cool things lined up this week! If I can even follow through with this one...
Monday: AMA
Tuesday: Reader Poll
Wednesday: ???
Thursday: ???
Friday: ???
I don't want to make the fun section of the update elaborately long, so I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for the support! Even though I'm not as active or as productive as I used to be, your eagerness never wavered, and you guys enjoy me talking about random shit on the side, whether it be song lyrics, Pokémon, or literally posts without any context to them. I love you guys. Here's to another year 🧡
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Everything else from this point is a brief reflection and introspection of what I've been feeling since then. You can ignore this if you wish to do so.
So today marks the second anniversary since I opened up this Tumblr and became a degenerate writer. The work I've been putting up is getting worse—in a sexual and filthy way, not objectively—and my mental health has been getter much, much better! When I made the same anniversary post around this time a year ago, I was at an all-time low, mentally speaking. I really felt like I had not much left to give at that point, my skill has stagnated, and I thought there wasn't much for me to improve on. If you asked me if I had any future plans for this blog, I'd say I'd be done by the end of 2022, if not sooner.
It's now 2023, and I believe I'm as good as I can be right now. Slumps happen for a reason, and you can't always win, but it's how you bounce back from the lowest of lows that you reach highest of highs. And I believe I can still get better.
Genuinely, not to sound arrogant, because Lord knows I'm not the best fanfic writer—fuck no—I'm not anywhere close, even in a theoretical top 1000 list, but I do think some of my finest work have come up in my most recent fics. I don't know, it feels more polished and there was more effort and deliberation put into it. The numbers don't lie, either; every single work I published since May 2022 has over 400+ notes, and I've even passed the 1000+ note barrier twice! It goes to show that you guys are enjoying what I'm putting out as much as I love making them, slow and difficult it may be. I can fondly smile at last year's additions to my masterlist and say, "I can't believe I did that."
I do want to apologize if my output rate has drastically slowed down, and if I'm not as active as I was before. It's unfortunately part of the sacrifice needed for better quality control, and also because I have more personal commitments to attend to. 2023 has been fantastic for me so far in almost every department, except maybe physically—I could use more exercise—but that can be worked upon.
I do believe I'm on borrowed time. Again, look at the gap between fics over the past six months ago, and it's only going to widen once I enter my third year of college. I also have to begin considering what hobbies and other things I should do to occupy my free time, so I can be more productive as a person. This isn't to say I'm definitely quitting, but I expect more responsibilities to be shouldered onto me in the future, and having time for myself is going to be pretty much a birthday gift with how rare it might be given, and I'd prefer spending my time off recharging and relaxing instead of stressing over inconsequential or 'fun' things.
There's a lot of people I want to thank specifically, because while I was struggling with my own personal battles, they've been encouraging me to continue fighting and have been absolute lads—and lasses—throughout the past year. When I needed someone to talk to that wasn't my therapist, they were there, and I took solace in their comfort and companionship. I can't tag you guys, but if you're reading this—Chunk, Raf, Peach, Aaron, Sol, V1n, Iz, Ddeun, C.o, Kaede, Frisky, Smite, Shaun, Sins, Jett, Eros, Prael, Ken, Cray, CJ, Sooya, Gray, Svn—I sincerely thank you. God bless each and every single one of you. And to Tim, I really hope you can see this, but I'm truly, truly sorry. I hope we can find a way to bury that fracture in our relationship in the past, and we can reconcile. If not, then I just want closure and peace for the both of us.
So in closing, I want to thank you so much for sticking with me through the bad times and prospering with me through the good, and I'm always humbled that you've taken a chance on me when I started, when I was a hopeful newbie, two years ago. Now here we are. I appreciate every single one of you, be it a fellow writer, a reader, or a lurker.
With grace,
Peter / π
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tippenfunkaport · 11 months
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Introducing MAYbe I’ll Make This, the easiest month of prompts you’ve ever participated in happening this May 2023.
It’s a chance to share all those ideas you’ve been toying with that you might draw or write someday with no pressure to actually commit to finishing anything!
Participation can be as little as sharing a few words or a single sentence or as involved as a sketch or plot summary, it’s up to you! 
What’s the point?
To fill our fandom tags with fun new ideas and stimuli to get everyone’s creative juices flowing. For fan creators ourselves, it gives us a chance to talk about our ideas with no pressure to deliver. And who knows, hopefully seeing people excited about our ideas might give us extra inspiration and motivation to maybe even work on them someday!
Here’s how it works:
Throughout May, post anything from a few words to a snippet from an idea you’ve been kicking around that you MAY draw or write someday and tag the related fandoms, if any. (Ideas that you've started, have actively in progress or have even started but abandoned are also welcome!) A few sentences about a fic you might write, a sketch you’re still figuring out, or even a long infodump about the AU of your heart, share as much or as little as you want!. It’s not a commitment to make anything, just a fun excuse to talk about your ideas. 
Don’t have any ideas of your own? No problem! You can still participate by boosting the ideas that others post, asking questions and expressing your excitement about the ideas that appeal to you. 
Anyone from any fandom is welcome to participate as well as original writers so please spread the word!
We’ve got 30 days worth of prompts to get you started that you can interpret anyway you like… or ignore entirely and do your own thing. Do all 30, pick and choose, do them out of order, whatever you want! The point is just to have fun and share your ideas! 
That’s it! Just a super chill, low effort way for us all to celebrate those ideas taking up space in our brains that we aren’t quite ready to commit to making yet (or maybe ever). 
Notes
Participants retain all rights to their ideas and first dibs on the writing / drawing of them.
Want feedback on your ideas? Encourage brainstorming? Happy to let someone else take your idea and write it themselves? Add a note to that effect to your post so people know what kind of interactions are welcome. 
Please be supportive of others' ideas and keep overly negative opinions to yourself (especially if they did not ask for feedback). If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!
You’re welcome to tag your posts with “MAYbe I’ll Make This” or link back to this post to explain the challenge but your host (me) won’t be sharing every post related to this challenge. This is just something I wanted to do for my own purposes to share all the ideas I may never get a chance to write but I’m opening the prompts list to anyone who might like to do the same. 
Questions? Drop me an ask! 
May 2023 Prompts
No Plot Just Vibes
Lives In My Head Rent Free
Sometimes One Must Torture The Blorbos For Enrichment
Completely Self Indulgent
I Just Want Them To Be Happy 😭
Canon Divergent
Inspired By A Movie
Galaxy Brain Of Me, Honestly
No One Wants This But Me
All The Tropes!
Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Canon
Idea Fueled By Spite
Shameless Excuse For Hurt / Comfort
Inspired By A TV Show
Slaps Idea: This Baby Can Fit So Much Projection!
Yes, I’m Cringe But I’m Free
One! More! Time! 
Totally OOC But Hear Me Out… 
Role Swap
Inspired By Someone Else’s Au
I Hurt Myself With This Idea
Old Tropes, New Tricks
Pretend I’m Good Enough To Pull This Off
It’s Really Just All About This One Scene… 
Crack Treated Seriously 
Seriousness Treated Like Crack 
I’ve Actually Started Working On This
Yes It’s Been Done But Not By Me So
More Of What You’d Call A Character Study
Casually Slides in My OC
Inspired By A Book
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bellamybellamyblake · 9 months
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When the Sun Sets - Part 2
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Our Job
Characters:
morgan winchester (OC), sam winchester, dean winchester, bobby singer, ellen harvelle
Summary:
the fallout of morgan’s decision.
Warnings (for entire story):
SPN typical violence, so so much suppressing of emotions, vague mention of SA, depiction of torture, a very pro-torture main character, vague mention of not eating for a while, slightly suicidal ideation, SPN typical alcohol abuse, spoiler warning up to the end of season 8, following canon stops after the end of season 2, but things are definitely going to be mentioned.
Word Count:
4.3k ~ roughly
A/N:
you don’t even know how much i hate this part. there's so much dialogue i wanna cry. i tried to rush through all hell breaks loose as fast as possible so i can post my personal favorite part (the next one - the inbetween.)
dean: 27, morgan: 26, sam: 23
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Morgan was silent the entire drive to Bobby's. The boys were talking as usual, but as she sat in the backseat, Dean wasn't letting her rest. If looks could kill, she'd have been six feet under before they got in the car. She knew he would demand a talk with her. And she wasn't clueless to the fact that Bobby would too when he saw Sam up and about.
She couldn't look her brother in the eye, but every time she felt his eyes on her, she'd glance up and away just as fast. She tried to think about how Dean felt when he found out about their father's deal to save him. As if he had to tread lightly on borrowed time or that he shouldn't have even been walking around in the first place. Like it was unfair that he was alive, and John wasn't. She had a feeling she'd be hearing about that.
She knew her brother wasn't stupid, and if anything, Bobby was smarter. Once Bobby found out it wasn't Dean, there was only one other person to turn to.
They'd probably try to make her regret it, but she didn't. She didn't think she ever could. Even if Sam felt guilty about it for the rest of his life, he would at least get to live the rest of his life. However long that might be.
Knocking on the door at Bobby's was tense. Dean wouldn't give her a moment of reprieve, his furious gaze staying put on the side of her head. And her not giving in only pissed him off more. She was preoccupied, to put it lightly, almost more nervous about Bobby's reaction. It didn't take long for him to answer the door, and he looked like his stomach was about to fall out of his ass.
"Hey, Bobby," Dean greeted, the same angry tone in his voice. Sam saying the same right after, but looking at his brother, confused. Morgan knew Sam had noticed their demeanors since he woke up, Dean looked like he was ready to commit murder and she looked like his next victim.
"Sam," Bobby stuttered out, pure shock on his face. "It's good to...see you up and around."
"Yeah, well, thanks for patching me up," Sam said as he patted the older man on the shoulder, walking right in like he belonged there. Which, to be fair, they all did.
Bobby was looking straight at Dean as he followed Sam, like he was the guilty one. "Don't mention it." Morgan followed her brothers, but as Dean looked at Bobby, shook his head, and looked at her, with an expression that told him everything, Bobby's bewilderment grew even larger and more obvious.
"Well, Sam's better. And we can get back into it now. So, what do you know?" She didn't look at him when she said it. She didn't miss Sam's confusion as he looked between the three of them, like he knew something was up but couldn't put his finger on it.
Bobby quickly filled them in, it was as if he was rushing to get all the information out in the open so he could pull Morgan off to talk. She could barely even blink before he was telling Sam to take a look at the map and to try to figure out why one single area of Wyoming was untouched by demons. Then he asked Morgan and Dean to help him bring some boxes out from his truck. The 'needing extra hands' excuse was nonchalant enough to get them alone. Dean nodded, and she could tell he was tempted to drag her out by her ear, but she wasn't about to go that easily. She wasn't about to get torn into that easily.
"I'll stay here," Morgan refused. "Give Sam another pair'a eyes."
"No, need all the hands I can get," Bobby ordered sharply. And at Sam's large eyes questioning why she wasn't going with them, she relented. She knew how this would go. They'd yell, act all mad, but then they'd realize why she did it. They'd realize they were more sad than angry and then they'd deflate.
It was only a few moments of stress before they got far enough out of ear shot when Dean shoved her up against one of the cars.
"You stupid bitch! What did you do, Mo?" He accused, holding her still by the collar. But she could see the terror in his eyes as he pushed her against the car a second time. It always came out in some kind of fury at first with him. This wasn't the first time Dean had shoved her. She knew she could take a few of his punches, and if that's what this came to, she'd be able to handle herself. There were very few living humans that could fight off Dean Winchester, and Sam and Morgan were most of them. "What did you do?!"
She didn't even bother fighting back, though, letting Dean keep his hands on her. She knew if she tried hard enough, she could get him off, but she just kept her  eyes on the ground. Too much of a damn coward to look at her brother. She couldn't bare to see more pain in his features, see how beaten down he was becoming. How tired he was.
"You made a deal. For Sam, didn't you?" Bobby asked, questioning her, like she had committed a crime and they were trying to put her in jail. Her silence was enough of an answer that Bobby sighed, shaking his head. "How long they give you?"
"Bobby-"
"How long?!" Dean demanded, gripping the collar of her shirt even tighter until his knuckles turned white, as if she'd try to get away. "You look at me, you coward."
She let out a shaky breath, putting off saying it for as long as she could. It was like pulling out her own teeth, but eventually looked at her brother and rasped out the words.
"One year."
Dean ripped his hands off of her, as if she burned him. In some kind of self torture, she kept her eyes on Dean, and it was like watching him catch Sam all over again. He didn't need to speak for her to know how upset he was, how ruined he felt, like he'd never have another win again. It was like watching Sam fall into his arms over and over and over. She could practically hear his heart shattering in his chest.
She finally turned back to Bobby after sitting in that for a moment, biting that bullet. He, hauntingly, looked exactly like her brother. He breathed. "Damn it, Morgan."
"It's why we gotta find Yellow-Eyes," Morgan declared, keeping her gaze away from her brother on purpose. "I can kill him myself, now. Got nothing else to lose."
With that, Dean shoved her again, the despair quickly wiped from his face, replaced with the white-hot anger from a moment ago. He was seething, but she still couldn't tell if it was because she beat him to the punch or if he was genuinely sad he'd lose her in a year. Probably a mix of both, but  she convinced herself it was the former rather than the latter. "I should send you downstairs ahead of schedule."
She kept her face blank as she chuckled humorlessly. "Yeah, have fun with that."
"What is it with you Winchesters, huh?" Bobby asked, the emotion making his voice break. "You, your dad, you're all just itching to throw yourselves down the pit!"
"That's not the point, Bobby!" Morgan roared, getting angry now herself. She pushed Dean off of her with all her strength, which was stronger than she thought it was, given how exhausted she was. He stumbled back and she finally returned the death glares he'd been sending her all day. "At least now, Dad can get what he wanted."
"What does that mean?!" Dean shouted back at her.
"It means," Morgan paused, taking a breath, to stop herself from yelling anymore. "You and Sam? Better at hunting than I am. It means, you'll have one less mouth to feed."
"What?" Dean breathed, like he couldn't even believe the words coming out of his sister's mouth. Like he was shocked she could even say such a thing.
At the utter confusion he was doing nothing to hide, she realized they weren't as similar as she thought. She thought he had seen it. The way they were never able to take a break in whatever motel room they had found, even when John wasn't working a case. That it was always about who could follow orders better, who could get closer to the bullseye, who could disassemble and clean their guns quicker and to a higher standard. She had thought, as they grew up, he noticed it, and that's why Dean started backing off. He stopped getting on her case about doing what dad said, he stopped giving her tips on how to aim. She thought that was why he took back the knife he had given her, because he needed all the help he could get in fighting for John's approval.
Did he forget the fight they had? The only real fight her and Dean ever had? The only one about something more than the way they bugged each other? She had blown up at him, something she very rarely did. But Dean had cut her off, by saying the worst thing he had ever said to her. Something she'd never forget.
"You wanna know why I'm the one that goes on all the hunts with dad? Because I'm actually good at my job. You're just another person I have to take care of. I mean, Dad tells Sam to make sure you don't do anything stupid when we leave. And I'm fucking tired of it. I'm tired of you."
It was one of the few times she didn't regret punching him.
"Why would I let him die, when I could just...take out the defected one?" Morgan sobbed, overcome with tears she couldn't hold back anymore, that fight so prevalent in her mind. It never left her. And all the stress of the last few days, it all came pouring out. And even if she had forgiven Dean for saying it, she never really thought he didn't believe it. And she saw the realization dawn on him. "Something good can out of it. Maybe my life will finally mean something."
"What, and it didn't before? Have you got that low an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?!"
She didn't look at Bobby, even after he yelled at her, she kept her eyes on Dean, and she knew he could finally see the toll their father's words had taken on her. The toll his words had taken on her. She was taking herself out of the race for the crown they had both spent their whole lives fighting for, and he didn't have to ask her why. She didn't have to tell him she knew he would've done it too, and he knew there was no way in hell she would've let him. Her and Dean's relationship was strained, but underneath all of it, they loved each other. They would protect each other with everything they had. And she was exhausted. This way the fight was over. He could officially be the one that ended up in John's best graces, but she would be dead, so she didn't have to worry about it anymore.
Morgan finally turned to Bobby, letting him see how drained she was. How little fight she had left in her. "Dean told me to patch him up but I didn't. I froze, and then he died because I couldn't move. I couldn't leave it-I-I had to fix it, Bobby. He's my little brother."
"Mo, it wasn't-"
"How's your little brother gonna feel when he knows you're going to Hell?" Bobby grilled her. Then he turned to Dean, if only to prove his point, not caring that he cut him off. "How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you?"
"You can't tell him," Morgan begged, not letting Dean answer. "Whatever you do, just don't tell him. Please."
"He'll figure it out," Dean said, his voice hollow after finally getting the truth. "He's not stupid."
"I know. Just, not yet."
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When Ellen turned up at Bobby's, and they had tested her with holy water, Morgan gave her a big hug. It was comforting, someone that didn't know what the last two days had meant to the Winchesters was in their presence. It was like she could finally relax. But when they realized what the yellow-eyed demon's plans were, they had to rush to the cemetery in Wyoming - the only time anyone had ever rushed into Wyoming.
They were already there by the time Jake had gotten into the cemetery, hiding behind tall headstones, staying out of sight. Once he had reached the plot he was looking for, Ellen, Bobby, Morgan, Dean and Sam stepped out from behind the graves, guns drawn and loaded. They surrounded him from all sides, trapping him in.
"Howdy, Jake," Sam said as they all inched closer and revealed themselves.
"Wait, you were dead," Jake said, dumbfounded. "I killed you."
"Yeah? Well, next time finish the job."
"I did! I cut clean through your spinal cord, man." Jake explained. And Morgan didn't miss when Sam looked at her and Dean with a question in his eyes. Morgan ignored it, and she was pretty sure Dean did too as they looked back at him. "You can't be alive. You can't be."
"Okay," Bobby said, trying to defuse the tension. But this guy had five guns on him, there was no way to calm this down. "Just take it real easy there, son."
"And if I don't?"
"Wait and see!" Sam threatened.
"What," Jake taunted. "You a tough guy all of a sudden? What are you gonna do? Kill me?"
"It's a thought."
"You had your chance. you couldn't."
"I won't make that mistake twice."
Morgan's hands were shaking. She didn't like this, she always hated this part of the job. The killing, the traps, the risks. Nothing ever went their way and she didn't think it would magically start now.
If her life experiences had taught her anything, it would be to expect the worst. Always.
Jake laughed evilly at Sam's words, like he was a bug under his shoe.
"What are you smiling at, you little bitch?" Dean seethed.
"Hey, sweetheart," Jake said, turning to Morgan. And she wanted to shoot him just for calling her that. "Do me a favor put that gun to your head." Her hand started shaking even more, as she fought the compulsion. But it was too much, she wasn't strong enough to fight it. Jake was forcing her with whatever powers he had. As soon as the gun was pressed against her temple, Jake laughed again, his voice sour and menacing. "See, Sam? That Ava girl was right. Once you give into it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn."
"Let her go!" Sam demanded.
"Shoot him," Morgan whispered shakily, like it took all of her strength just to speak. She didn't exactly want to die. They thought of going to Hell early? Well, it wasn't exactly on the to-do list. But she figured if one of them wasn't supposed to survive that night, it should be her.
Being held under the control of someone else was enough to strip her of all the energy Morgan had left. She couldn't get any more words out, her lips were pushed closed by an unseeable force. "You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off. Everybody put your guns down. Besides you, babe."
Bobby, Sam, Ellen and Dean all dropped their guns as Jake thanked them, and ran towards the crypt. Before she knew what was happening, she was pressing down on the trigger, but the gun was knocked from her hand and it went off in the air. The shot rang out, and it didn't take long for her to realize Dean had knocked the gun from her hand. Jake put the Colt in the lock, and the door on the crypt started to spin as Morgan heard four more shots ring out. By the time she had looked up, Jake was dying on the floor and Sam was above him, still pointing the gun at him.
"Please, don't," Jake begged, his voice gurgled from the blood going into his lungs. "Please-"
Sam fired out three more shots, killing him instantly.
Morgan had never seen Sam so bloodthirsty. The look on his face was inhuman, one of a monster that was ready to keep killing. But before she could dwell on it she heard the door to the crypt moving, and Bobby yelling at them to take cover.
"It's a devil's gate!" Ellen yelled at the Winchesters, as her and Bobby ran to it to try to close it. "A damn door to Hell!"
Before she could even move, an invisible force had thrown Morgan and Dean away from the gate, her head bashing into a grave stone a little ways away. The pain shot through her like a bullet. She groaned as she landed, dragging herself up to sit against it. When she brought her gaze back up in front of her, she saw Yellow-Eyes coming at her, and Sam running behind him. "Mo!"
She was too dizzy to move as Yellow-Eyes pushed Sam against a tree. "I'll get to you in a minute, champ. I'm proud of you. Knew you had it in ya."
The demon turned to Dean, as he was getting himself ready to stand, but Yellow-Eyes pushed him back, keeping him down. "Sit a spell. Gotta talk to your sis. Don't mind, do you?" He asked, but wasn't holding his breath to find out what Dean would say. "Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. I gotta thank you," He whispered putting his full attention on her, keeping her still with whatever powers he had. "You see, demons can't resurrect people unless a deal is made. I know, red tape - it'll make you nuts. But thanks to you, Sammy's back in rotation. Now I wasn't counting on that, but I'm glad. Liked him better than Jake, anyhow. Tell me, you ever hear the expression, 'if a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?'"
"You call that deal, good?" Morgan asked, keeping her face blank, but she couldn't ignore the blood dripping down her face from the gash. Or the way her head was spinning from being, oh, you know, thrown into a damn gravestone.
"Well, it's better than the one your dad got," He said, as if conspiring with her. "And you never wondered why? I'm kind of surprised at you. I mean, you saw what your brother did to Jake, right? Pretty cold, huh? How certain are you that what you brought back is a hundred percent little Sammy?" She wouldn't admit it, but he practically read her mind. Honestly, he probably did. Powerful demons could do that. She let her eyes fall on her younger brother. "After watching your brother come back and watching daddy drop dead, you of all people should know that what's dead, should stay dead. Anyway, thanks a bunch. I knew I kept you alive for some reason. 'Til now anyway. I couldn't'a done without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family."
Before she knew it, the Colt was pointed at her, but something stopped Yellow-Eyes from pulling the trigger. Some spirit came up behind him and practically pulled the demon out of his vessel. The spirit was wrestling with it, trying to keep it in his hold, and it suddenly hit her who he was.
It was John.
Her father's spirit.
He got the demon back into the body, but by the time the vessel had stood back up, Dean had the Colt pointed right at his chest and shot him right in the heart, killing him instantly.
At the same time, Ellen and Bobby had gotten the gate closed and John's spirit was made obvious to everyone in the graveyard. He put his arm on Dean's shoulder, in a silent thank you and to tell him he was proud of him. Then he looked at Sam with the same expression on his face.
Then his gaze fell on Morgan, and it changed a little. Like he knew exactly what she did. She imagined he did know, and she almost thought he'd reprimand her for putting herself at risk, even if it meant it kept Sam alive. But then she remembered her father and who he really was, and his face morphed into gratitude. He was thanking her, for keeping his favorite child alive, even if it was at the cost of her own life.
A part of her resented that, but the other part hoped he'd finally be able to rest after this. And in a haze of white flame, he disappeared.
There was a few moments of quiet between the siblings, in awe of what had just happened. "Dad really climbed out of Hell, huh?" Sam asked lightly, breaking the silence.
"The door was open," Dean said. "And if anyone's stubborn enough to do it, it would be him."
"Where do you think he is now?"
"At peace," Morgan whispered, unsure, but her brothers nodded. "Hopefully."
"I don't know what to say, I mean, our whole lives have been leading up to this."
"I do," Dean said, before squatting over the vessel that once held the demon that ruined their lives. "That was for our mom, you son of a bitch."
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It didn't take too long to clean up. Sam helped her sanitize the open wound on her face, declaring it wouldn't need stitches, just some careful maintenance for a few days. Bobby took Ellen back to his car while Sam, Dean and Morgan went back to the Impala, as always. The air was somber and eerily quiet after that massive explosion of demons coming out of Hell. She knew that wasn't something they'd ignore, but that was tomorrow's problem. Tonight, they would recuperate.
"You know," Sam said as Morgan opened the back door to the car. "When Jake saw me, it was like he saw a ghost." She slammed the door loudly at his words and walked towards him. She looked at Dean, and he already had his eyes on her. There was anger she knew he wouldn't keep in check for long in them. She needed to get ahead of it. "I mean, you heard him, guys. He said he killed me."
"Well, he was wrong," Morgan denied, trying to leave no room for a dispute.
"I don't think he was, Mo. What happened after I was stabbed?"
"We already told you," She said sharply, hoping he'd take the damn hint.
"Not everything."
"Dean just killed the demon, Sam!" Morgan's voice rose, but she tried to put on a small smile. "Can't we just, I don't know, celebrate for a minute?"
"Did I die?" Sam insisted, switching back and forth between his older siblings. He wasn't dropping it, and Morgan knew that. But she really didn't want to have this conversation. She didn't want Sam to know. She didn't want him to feel the guilt of knowing she would be dying for him in a year's time.
"Sam-"
"Did you, or-or Dean, sell your soul for me? Like dad did?"
"Oh, come on," Dean said, finally entering the conversation. Maybe to help his sister, maybe to let her reap what she sewed. "I didn't."
Oh, fuck off, Dean.
"Mo?" She scoffed, not wanting to admit it. "Morgan, tell me the truth." Shaking her head, she rubbed her hand down her face, almost wincing when she hit the gash on her forehead. She had to look away, keeping her gaze down towards the ground, not able to face her little brother. She knew her silence was her answer and he didn't ask again. She might know both of her brother's tells, but they knew her's too. "How long do you get?"
She chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head, silently telling him she didn't want him to know. The emotion in Sam's voice had her ready to cry, but she pushed it down. And when Dean cleared his throat, telling her she wasn't getting out of it, she finally looked at Sam. Who looked like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. The middle Winchester closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"A year."
Sam let out a sob, "A year?" She looked back at him, and this time it was him that couldn't handle the sight of her. "You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?"
"Don't get mad at me. You don't get to do that."
"Oh, we don't?" Dean spat.
"Screw you, Dean, I mean seriously!" Morgan argued, her voice rising as she turned to her older brother. "You were gonna do it, too. Don't pretend you weren't. You're just mad 'cause I got there first. And Sam," She looked back at him and then at the sky. It was black and dreary, something she'd always hated. Night time was when the monsters crawled out of their caves and started fucking shit up. It only made her angrier at her situation. "How was I supposed to just let you die? When I knew there was something that could bring you back, I was supposed to just ignore that?"
"Yes!" Dean yelled back at her. "If it means it's gonna kill you, you ignore it! Absolutely!"
"I had to look out for you." She didn't relent, but her voice had lost the volume it once held. "That's our job."
"And what do think my job is?" Sam asked, his voice raising a little as well. But before he went on, he took a breath, calming himself down. "You've saved my life over and over. I mean, the two of you sacrifice everything for me, don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big sister. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this."
No, Sam. You won't.
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todamarikoarchived · 1 month
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Tag game
Fic writer interview tag game
Thank you @xxluckystrike for the tag, ma chérie 💙 I have an ao3 account now (last one went down the drain 🫠) and I can do this :)
How many works do you have on AO3?
Five but back when I had my old ao3 account there was like twenty-something.
What’s your total AO3 word count?
17,750, baby amount 😂
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
“you're just one big snafu lookin' for a place to happen.” Shall We Lay Here? It's Our Bittersweet Symphony “Sometimes life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass... it’s about learning how to dance in the rain” the spoils of war. A Future Together Is A Future Worth Fighting For 
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! I try my best to always respond, sometimes I can’t and other times I can! For when I can’t, I save the comment in my notes and respond there, then when I can I’ll copy my response and paste it into the reply box lol. I love feedback so much on fics so it makes my day to see it!
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Ooh I only finished one fic that I’ve posted publicly 💀 but it would be “you're just one big snafu lookin' for a place to happen.” Shall We Lay Here? It's Our Bittersweet Symphony definitely has a very angsty ending I can say that for sure.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Ahhhhhh posted?? Probably “you're just one big snafu lookin' for a place to happen.” (that fic is like my favorite child out of all my public work 😂)
Do you write crossovers?
Absolutely. Haven’t posted any yet but OH SWEET BABY DO I WRITE CROSSOVERS. Big ones include Detroit: Become Human x Band of Brothers/The Pacific, The Greatest Showman x The Pacific, and more 😏
Have you received hate on a fic?
Once, some wackjob tryna say my English is ass while they couldn’t even spell the word “terrible” correctly 💀
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do, again haven’t posted any yet LMFAO, but oh you don’t wanna know 💀 I’d scare people away with the smut fics I’ve written and stored in my drafts (which is why I don’t talk to anyone about smut fics, no matter what lmfaoo). I will say, omegaverse and A/B/O dynamics are very fun to write and read. I haven’t written omegaverse in a while though, sadly, but that’ll probably change someday soon lol.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of, and if I have then I will commit arson (kidding, or am I?-)
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, once in the Naruto fandom. I also translated for other people in the past as well, it’s a fun thing I would do in the past, but haven’t done it in years.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Unfortunately not, I’m not that cool lol. But if anyone would like to, hit me boo 😌
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
We know this, we all should know. sledgefu babes, but also snurgie. bottom!snafu for the win alright, I won’t hear disagreements-
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Definitely a fic I made in 2011 for The Pacific. It was a male OC/Eugene Sledge fic but I will not be touching that fic again lmfao. It’s not a fic I want to finish lol, but it’s definitely a fic I won’t ever finish.
What are your writing strengths?
I think finding good descriptive words lol, and doing ACCURATE (side eye) research for historical fics!!!
What are your writing weaknesses?
My pacing. It needs work. Also probably other things but I’m not going to list them because I cannot think right now ☺️
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I do it. Usually it’s (Cajun) French for Snaf haha. OR WHEN I WROTE SLEDGE AND SNAFU IN CHINA (don’t ask for me to post it, at least not right away since that draft is lost amongst thousands, oh and i’m not exaggerating when i say thousands, of other drafts) AND I WROTE EUGENE SPEAKING MANDARIN AND SNAFU BEING CONFUSED AS FUCK, HAH-
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Ohhh nooo, I don’t actually remember. I bet you I said something different the last time I did this tag game 💀 but I think… I literally don’t remember, my ass is BLANKING.
What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
None really? I would like to try writing Snaf/Ack Ack (yes I know, don’t ask) but haven’t done it yet lol. yet.
What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
Oohhh tough one. Probably one I haven’t posted since it’s so personal to me. It was a story that I wrote years ago, very very personal and I’ll never post it. But I do cherish it so much. I’ve mentioned it once on tumblr but won’t ever post it.
Shall be tagging my talented writer friends (sorry if i didn’t tag you, i’m like. not sure who has and hasn’t done it and i don’t want to be more annoying than i already am 😀): @laminy, @itookyoudown, @buddyaldridge, @pineapple-coffee, @ahsokatanoss, @almost-a-class-act, @basilone, @panzershrike-pretz, @panevanbuckley, @lamialamia, @whollyjoly, @noneedtoamputate, and @deputy-buck.
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vidjausers-fable · 3 months
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Pen Pals(Veneer X OC)Chapter 7
Author’s Note: This would have been posted earlier but with the storms my power went out for a few hours. I had attempted to drive my friend home and a tree had fallen down near her home, knocking the power lines down. We turned around immediately and went back to my home. Stay safe and stay warm out there! I want to give thanks to my bestie and beta reader, @tinalbion <3
Previous chapter
***
Veneer settled in the chair across the table. The atmosphere was uncomfortable, and his brain kept telling him that he wanted to run away from the situation. He could feel Avery’s eyes staring at him, and it didn’t make him feel any better. When he shifted in his chair and made himself as comfortable as he could in this type of situation, he looked up and read Avery’s grim expression. Her face was that of disapproval. He knew this wouldn’t work out. None of it would. 
“So yeah…I guess you know who I am then if you’re looking at me like that…” He drummed his fingers nervously into his lap. “And I guess you’re not very happy about it.”
Avery couldn’t believe it. Veneer couldn’t recognize her? Of course he wouldn’t…Why would he memorize a single fan over the thousands he had back then? Had Avery been the same as she was before that night, then maybe she would feel more disappointed than she felt right now. But also…Veneer was a fraud and had scammed everyone. He had fooled everyone in Mount Rageous along with his sister into believing that they could sing because of a Troll they very nearly killed in the process. Avery remembered seeing the speech where Veneer had exposed themselves at their own concert, but also remembered that she was at work that night and didn’t care too much about what happened to the two. 
“Yeah, uh…I remember who you are. I’m just a little speechless seeing you right now. You’re not a Samson. You’re Veneer, ex superstar. This isn’t a joke, is it?”
Veneer raised his hands defensively. “No! No! I swear. I’m Samson. I just used a pseudonym so I wouldn’t be rejected because of my name…But I regret it so much.” He rambled, “I didn’t lie about anything else, just my name. I swear it, Avery.” He held a hand over his chest.
He still couldn’t tell who she was. 
“So everything else you told me was real?” Avery questioned suspiciously, unsure if she should believe him. “Every single thing that you sent me in those letters was absolutely one hundred percent true?”
Veneer nodded. “Yeah…So the interest in fashion, the sketchbooks, doing good here…That’s all real. I made a huge mistake listening to my sister and I’ve been working really hard to right the wrongs I committed against Mount Rageous. I’ve been learning a lot here, and Dr. Graham thought it would be good for me to join the Pen Pal Program to help me get back into the real world. I fell in love talking to you, and the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do was disappoint you. That’s why I wanted to confront you in person and let you see me before I told you my real name. I was feeling really guilty about using a fake name in the first place. I hope you can give me a chance, Avery…I have been loving to get to know someone as a person again and be myself…” He rubbed his hand. 
Avery saw the remorse on his face and how truly he meant these words as he said them. If he was a man of lies, he wouldn’t have exposed himself and his sister to the world and would keep manipulating people. She thought hard and realized that she…she didn’t feel manipulated at all. Sure, she would have loved to know the person she had been talking to in the first place, but she understood why he had done what he did. She knew that if she saw she was writing to Veneer in the first place, then she probably wouldn’t have given him the second chance he had been craving. He didn’t deserve that.
“...I think I still need a moment to process this…” Avery pressed her fingers against her temples. “But I can see why you didn’t tell me right away. It must be scary being on the other side of things.” She slowly began to unwrap the food she had brought for the two of them, Veneer watching her closely. “I think I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes. I want to give you—Veneer—a chance, but you have to promise me that you’ve got to tell me things from now on. I fell in love with talking to Samson too, not because of his name but his personality and actions. Samson is you, and I think that maybe you do deserve a chance.” She slid the sandwich over to Veneer and smiled warmly at him. “But I don’t want to be lied to anymore. OK?”
Veneer couldn’t believe his ears. Avery…Avery didn’t reject him! He gratefully took a bite out of his sandwich, which tasted a little like freedom, making him want to cry. “I really appreciate that, Avery…More than you think.”
“Can…Can I ask you something though? If you don’t mind?”
Veneer nodded. “Yeah, you can ask me anything. I think I owe that to you at least.”
“You probably don’t but…do you recognize me? We met a while back when you were—uh famous? I was at one of your concerts at the Boom Box and I met you personally when I caught your t-shirt in the crowd. You had been so nice to me, and that’s why I really admired you. You always seemed nicer than your sister. I can see why you’re doing so well here.”
Veneer blinked once and then twice. He took a long look at her face before he noticed the features and realized they had been familiar. “Oh yeah! I remember you…But I had never caught your name. I remember looking out in the hallway for you but you had already gone…You never sent me those pictures, though.” He slowly ate at the chips Avery brought him. He got chips here, but it was the cheap healthy kind. 
Avery nodded solemnly, trying to push those memories out of her mind. “Yeah, I had accidentally forgotten my phone when I took a last trip to the bar. I think someone stole it. It was long gone when I went back to look for it.” Avery felt a small pang of guilt. She was technically lying to Veneer, as if she hadn’t just made him promise to never lie to her again. Then again, she didn’t want to get in trouble with Rivers if a little rumor about her lip syncing made its way around. She knew that the fraud would come after her first and she dreaded having to deal with her again. Maybe that’s also why she was okay with jumping on and taking another chance with Veneer, too…It’s not like she was perfect either. 
“Are you alright?” Veneer waved a hand in front of her face, snapping her out of her thoughts. “You look like you’re far away in thought right now.”
Avery nodded. “Yeah, a lot happened that night and I wish I hadn’t lost my phone.” She smiled, but it was a sad smile. “Otherwise I would have sent you those photos. Despite what happened with you and Velvet—I think we looked cute in those.”
Veneer blushed. “How do you…feel about all of that? Knowing what I did?”
“I wouldn’t say I was exactly happy. I did spend a lot of money going to those concerts.” As she said those words, she hated the sad expression that came across Veneer’s face, even if what she said needed to be brought up, “But there had been a huge refund to everyone who had proof of old concert tickets, and I eventually got mine. I’m just glad that you owned up to your mistake, even if it was a huge one. You said your sister was here with you, didn’t you? Velvet’s here in this facility?”
“Uh huh.” Veneer groaned and leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed, “And she drives me absolutely INSANE, I’ll be honest. She was really bad coming here at first. She destroyed stuff, and made others feel like crap, me included. She was a full-on entitled brat. I was totally embarrassed to be her twin, especially since I’m basically the female equivalent of her. We’re the total opposites.”
“What’s she up to now?” Avery leaned back in her chair, comfortable though wishing they were sitting in bean bags right now. That would be peak comfort. “Has she been behaving better than when you guys were first sent here?”
“Actually, yeah. But I can’t tell if it’s an act or not. She pretty much forced me to be in on her therapy appointments with my counselor by saying she’d only do it if I was there. It’s been not fun lately.” Avery noticed as his hands made silly gestures as he talked, pretty much expressive with his body as he spoke, “And now she’s in Anger Management class. But I think she’s doing better at least. She doesn’t yell as much as she used to.” 
Avery had no clue Velvet would be acting the way she was. There was a pang of empathy in her chest, and she felt for the male even more. He probably dealt with a lot with himself alone, but also to carry the burdens of his sister. That sounded like a lot…
“Well, I hope that you’re putting yourself first.” Reaching across the table, she linked her fingers with Veneers. The male’s eyes widened and his cheeks blushed as he saw how perfectly their fingers linked together on the table. It had been a long time since he had felt a kind touch and this…It was perfect. He loved it. Secretly. 
Veneer stuttered as he responded, “I, well, uh…I am. I’m trying at least. It gets hard some days, but my journal is my best friend. The one you got me! I draft my letters there and also my thoughts. It helps me collect myself so I can feel better.”
“That’s great, Veneer!” Avery cheered for him, her free hand raised confidently, “I should do the same thing. Sometimes it just gets hard. When I’m feeling things in the moment, I just get more frustrated and tear the pages out…” 
“Have you tried to breathe first? I know those breathing exercises sound stupid and cheesy, but Dr. Graham tells me that they help regulate your nervous system, enough to calm down and think properly. Or even chewing on ice. When you’re calmed down, that’s when you should start writing your thoughts. It’s helped me a lot when I learned about that, especially at my lowest…What’s that…look for?” He saw how wide her eyes were on him. 
“Not-Nothing!” Avery pulled both her hands away, waving them defensively as she did so, “Sorry I was just…amazed because I would have never thought of that. I’m just admiring you. That’s all. Sorry if it came off as rude.” She rubbed the back of her neck. 
The two of them were blushing messes. Avery looked at Veneer first and smiled. “Speaking of journals…Did you bring your sketchbook, like promised?” She bounced excitedly, scooting closer to the table. The way she leaned both her hands on her cheeks and eyed him in wonder made Veneer aware of how really cute this woman was. 
Veneer swallowed the lump in his throat. He reached beside him and picked his sketchbook up from next to his foot and put it on the table. He laid his hands on top of the cover of the sketchbook defensively. “I…I’ve been drawing a lot. It’s clothes, but also sometimes I go back and sketch the photos you sent to me. It really helps me feel better and it’s a great distraction for me here. I’m not the best—”
Avery interrupted him, “Are you KIDDING me?” She huffed, “I’ve seen your artwork before and I’m so in love with it. Every sketch just gets better and your passion is just blinding.” Avery smiled at him, reaching her hand back out to him, her palm facing up this time. Veneer blushed when his hand touched hers again, sending jitters down his spine. Avery led his hand away from the sketchbook, his other one opening to the first page, which he used to test out different supplies directly onto the paper. It helped him with the first-page perfectionism. He closed his hand around hers, holding her hand once again. 
The two of them held hands as he flipped through the pages and explained each one. Avery started memorizing the sketches of clothes and imagined what they would look like on real-life models. The man clearly didn’t recognize his own skill or potential. She wished she could do something to help him realize that potential.
“Oh Veneer, these are so good! Can I see them closer?” She asked for his consent before she took the sketchbook into her hands, flipping back through the pages he had shown her. The smile on her face was infectious. “They’re amazing and it’s like I can actually see these being made.”
“Real…Really?” he asked and copied her smile, “I told you once, but I hope that somewhere will accept me into fashion school…I always loved picking the outfits for Velvet and me when we were famous, but I didn’t realize how much deeper it was than that.” He smiled and took the sketchbook when Avery gave it back. 
“I think I should get you some colored pencils. These would look so much better with color.”
“Sometimes, I get to color them, but I don’t have my own colored pencils to take back to my cell. Depending on who’s out in the rec room, we’re not allowed to have sharp objects. So, if you could, I wouldn’t say no, but I won’t ask you.”
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to ask! Colored pencils can be cheap. I don’t mind getting you some.”
“I’ll draw you lots of things then.” Veneer grinned.
The door cracked open and Veneer’s guard poked his body in. There was a surge of fear in his stomach, thinking that their time together was up, until the guard said, “You have thirty more minutes, just to warn you.” Then he left. 
Avery’s shoulders slumped. Had that much time passed already? “Damn…The time really flew by…I don’t want to go.”
“Trust me, girl, I want you to take me with you.” Veneer laughed nervously, “But I would rather not ruin this good streak I’ve been on. I get out faster that way.”
“How much longer do you have here? Is there any way to get out on good behavior?” Avery took the sandwich leftovers and put them into her back, wiping crumbs off her black shirt. 
Veneer nodded. “Actually, yeah, but it can still take a bit. There’s a rule though: You have to have a home lined up for you before you. I…I haven’t heard from my parents, and I don’t blame them, so I’m not sure where I’ll go. I have some money, but not a lot. I could get a small apartment.”
As if there was a draft in the room, Avery shuddered. The night she had been kicked out by Rivers, it had been so cold. Avery couldn’t imagine Veneer leaving this place, cold and unsure of what to do. She didn’t want that to happen. So, there was an idea in her head: would it be weird to offer Veneer her own home? There she went again, thinking too far ahead. Veneer still had some things to prove to her before she could even think about letting him move in with her. So, she chose to not bring it up for now.
“Awh, well you’ll let me know if they contact you back, will you? I would hate for you to be stuck here just because you don’t have somewhere to go.”
“Yeah, I have maybe two months, especially if I don’t screw up. I don’t imagine that happening though. I just hope to hear back from my parents sometime soon…We’ve talked A LOT about me today though, I want to hear a bit about you before you have to go.”
“Well, I think it’s because I’ve already told you so much about me in the letters. I did bring these for you.” She smiled as she slid pictures of her babies across the table.
“Awe, the big hammies…Are these photos for me?”
“Yeah! To keep. I wish you could see them in real life though. They’re so cute and fluffy. When they beg for treats, they’re just adorable.”
“I can’t wait to sketch some of these photos. Did you bring any photos of the place you work at?” 
Avery shook her head. “No, but I can’t bring some for next time…” She offered. 
The two spent the rest of the time talking, laughing, and generally enjoying each other’s presence. For the first time in a long time, Veneer felt normal, and that things would be alright. That he would be able to make it out of the facility alive, and maybe even be happy. Thanks to Avery. 
Veneer stood. “Hey, is it okay if I hug you?” He opened his arms, in case she wanted to. When she stood from her chair, he didn’t realize how short she really was. She only reached his chest as she stepped forward and hugged him. He wrapped his long arms around her, not wanting to let go of her for a single second. This visit far exceeded his expectations and he was glad he followed through and didn’t chicken out. 
“Thanks for being my friend…” he whispered to Avery, his cheek pressed against her hair. 
Avery smiled as she pulled away from him. Her hands were still wrapped around him, her hands resting against his sides. “And thank you for being my friend. I was wondering if maybe we can make a small arrangement—?”
“An arrangement? Like what?”
“Like…” Her nose wrinkled as she took a moment to think about it, “I still want to send letters, but I want to be able to SEE you and talk to you too. So, we send letters with art and pictures now and then, and maybe every week if we can, and then visit now and then?”
Oh, Veneer wanted to cry hearing that. “I would LOVE that, Avery. I think I can do it every week, as long as you can.” He smiled down at her, finally pulling away when the door opened again, showing the guard from earlier. Both of them felt disappointed and didn’t want to leave. 
“Time’s up, kids. I hope the meeting went well.” He looked the two of them up and down, then stepped out of the way, allowing for them to step out, “Veneer, you first.” 
Veneer stepped out and gave a final look at Avery, “Oh, and Avery…I just wanted to let you know…I want to pay you back, no matter what. I don’t care if they gave you all your money back, but I want to do it too. Mark my words, I’ll give you back everything…”
“Oh Veneer…”
Avery watched as the guard put his hand on Veneer’s shoulder and guided him away from the door. Avery poked her head out the door and watched as they turned the corner and out of sight. She didn’t know where to go, so she waited for someone to come fetch her. That same guard returned and guided her out the door. Stacie was still at the desk and read a magazine now, not giving the young woman a glance as she left. 
Avery’s heart was pumping wildly, and there was adrenaline going through her. She took out her phone and her first instinct was to call Rivers. She shrugged that thought away and pulled up Gracie, texting her instead. 
Girl! Something interesting just happened. Can I come to talk to you?
***
Veneer was taken back to his cell, where the guard led him back in. He was breathless as he dropped onto his bed, flopping onto his back. He stared up at the stripped mattress above him, his cheeks redder than tomatoes. He still memorized Avery’s scent. It was strange, but it wasn’t that he hated it. It was the smell of a floral presume covering up the scent of grease and pizza. He wished he could play the lunch over, not to change anything but to experience it for a second time. Avery was making him go through these feelings that he had never experienced before. Suddenly, he felt as though he needed to talk to someone—anyone. Maybe he could catch his sister at dinner. 
Veneer had a few hours to kill before dinner, so he sat at his desk, looking through the latest magazine Avery had bought for him, just filled to the brim with inspiration as he sketched away, not realizing he was planning matching outfits for himself and her. As he looked at his sketches, he realized that yes—she was right. He needed more colors in his drawings! Maybe he wouldn’t feel so bad about letting Avery buy him the colored pencils as a gift, though wanted to make sure that she didn’t feel obligated to buy him anything ever. 
Many thoughts circulated in his mind. He couldn’t believe that she had been the one who wanted to call and visit him now. Since they had met and probably felt more comfortable with each other, he wouldn’t hesitate to ask her if she wanted to join him on his supervised outing. It wasn’t required for her to be there, but he wanted to have the experience with her, and now he felt confident that she would say yes. With their next visit or call, he would ask her. Dr. Graham would be thrilled to hear the news, and he wondered if his sister would too, or if she would blow up at him. If her anger management classes were working correctly, then maybe he didn’t have much to worry about. 
When it was closer to time for dinner, Veneer held onto the bars of the cell, waiting for the guard to come back up the hallway with the others to take them all the dinner. He leaned his head against the bars to angle himself and see down the hallway better, trying to catch a glimpse of the guard. Sure enough, he caught a glimpse and stepped back so he wouldn’t appear desperate to get out that day, even though he really was. 
Veneer contained his excitement all the way to the cafeteria. He grabbed a tray of some sort of processed salisbury steak meal and scanned the room for his sister. He always looked toward the back at the window. His sister liked to sit there the most because she enjoyed looking out the window. It was her way of tasting freedom. She was alone, per usual, and he came to sit across from her. 
Velvet barely glanced at him for five seconds, eating some cheesy mashed potatoes on her plate, hardly touching the obviously fake meat. “So, did you get rejected or not? Go on, tell me.”
Veneer squirmed excitedly and anxiously. He held his hands together, trying to contain the excitement to avoid getting his sister all flustered. “It actually…WENT REALLY WELL! Of course, Avery was very disappointed at first, but I think she warmed right up to me! She brought me these delicious sandwiches, and we talked the whole two hours though it didn’t really feel that long. She promised to stay in contact and try to visit me more.” He waited and watched his sister closely, ready but also not ready for whatever reaction she was about to display. 
Velvet put her spork down and slowly looked up to her brother. At first, Veneer was unable to gauge her reaction and worried she was about to have a meltdown. Velvet instead glumly leaned on her fist, casting her eyes down at the table. “Is there a way…you can help me get to that point?” 
Veneer was taken aback. “Point…? What point?’ he asked. 
“That I can have someone to talk to as well. This dump is annoying and I don’t have anyone else but you to talk to.” 
Blinking in shock, Veneer’s mouth hung ajar slightly. “I mean…Yeah, I can try. I got mine with good behavior.” He smiled fondly at his sister, watching as she pushed around the food on her plate as though she was trying to hide her true feelings. “But I know you’ll get there, Velvet. I’ll help you through it, I promise.” For the first time since they had been arrested, Veneer truly felt connected to his sister.
Finally, Velvet met his gaze. “Do you still want to watch Desperate Housewives with me after dinner?”
Veneer reached across the table and put his hand over his sister’s. “Of course! I love watching that with you, Velvet…”
The siblings shared the last few bites of their food together. Something felt different for the two of them that day, and it was a good and welcoming sensation. 
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shandycandy278 · 10 months
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are you proship or antiship?
I prefer not to use those terms, actually!
There’s SO much drama with both terms, and I know that if I were to just say that I’m either of them I will have my ask box full of questions I won’t want to answer
(And the only questions in my ask box that I haven’t answered are REALLY sweet wholesome things that I look back on when I’m sad. I don’t want to ruin that with seeing hate anons.)
I do have opinions about this though, so I am going to put it under a cut. If you decide to read, I’d like to start off saying that I am NOT MAD AT THE ASKER. nor anyone else, really. I’m simply sharing my opinion on the matter and if you have a different opinion about this sort of thing, that is absolutely OKAY.
My opinion is not the only opinion out there, nor the only one that has a right to exist or anything stupid like that.
Please do NOT take this answer as me saying that people should believe my opinion and ONLY my opinion. These are literally just my thoughts on the matter, nothing more.
With that over with, click below if you would like to know my thoughts on the matter.
I WILL start with that I am a firm believer that fiction does not affect reality unless you let it. Just because someone writes incest, dark kink, yandere kidnapping and abuse- and anything else of the like does NOT mean that they support people who do that or think that it should happen in reality.
Fiction literally means “not real”, AKA, nothing to do with anything about reality. Fanfiction is literally “not based on reality” works for shows that they like. The only way “fiction” can become “reality” is if YOU decide you physically want to make that happen and do it yourself. Not because someone wrote or drew it. Because YOU decided to bring it into reality and do it yourself. (And I highly doubt any of you would do that.)
I’ve written about suicides. I’ve written about a suicide where one lover kills the other before killing himself. I’ve written about a man killing his son’s lover to bring back his dead wife. I’ve written about anime protagonists being in abusive relationships and running away to safety with a new lover. I’ve written incest. I’ve written about rape. I have an unfinished WIP about one of my OCs being stuck in a death loop with her lover and no hope for escape, and some loops it’s her lover that kills her and vice versa.
Do I support any of these in real life? NO.
I write to figure out what might have happened. I write for the what if. I write to explore possibilities. I don’t write within a moral compass because I wouldn’t discover/learn/think of anything new or interesting if I did.
Another thing that I am a firm believer in is moderating/taking charge of your experience on the internet. Don’t agree with someone? Block them. Don’t like the ship they draw? Mute them. Don’t like their taste of situations between people that makes things “problematic”? Please for the love of whatever higher being you believe in, if there is one, DO NOT COMMENT ON THEIR POST SAYING THAT YHE AUTHOR/ARTIST SUCKS AND DESERVES TO DIE. THAT’S JUST RUDE??? AND ITS CYBERBULLYING???
Please, anyone who does this and ends up reading this, were you not in the same internet safety classes that I was in??? You know where they talked about online predators and keeping yourself safe and how the internet is only good if you use it as such??? 😭 What happened to all the videos depicting kids falling into a depression over this kind of thing and considering committing suicide because of it that kinda scarred you for life in that good way??? We need people to watch those again or something, the drama that happens on the internet today is NOT okay.
Finally, there’s nothing wrong with shipping whatever you want to ship in my opinion. Although I kinda grew up doing it weird. My parents and aunts and uncles and even GRANDPARENTS have stories about how I played with my toys.
When I was a little girl playing with my littlest pet shops and Barbie’s and Polly pockets I had girls with guys and guys with guys and girls with girls and I’d switch up their gender ON THE REGULAR for whatever I wanted at the time. I’d do reincarnation forbidden love stories and the mean girl learns to be good stories and everything in between.
Heck I didn’t have enough of them to play with so I had whoever “gave birth” to the child flipping die so that the character who had held the child became the child and she was just “an exact image of her mother you look more and more like her each day”. When I talk about playing with dolls in any asks about my writing I’m literally referring to the fact that I did this sort of thing all the way up until I graduated high school.
It might be weird, but… it’s just my norm. I’ve always been like this. And I know not many understand it, and I don’t expect them to either.
(But I will say that if you caught me playing with my toys in the middle of a story where the one who gave birth died and became the child/daughter and screamed in my ear “EXCUSE YOU THATS NOT OKAY TO DO THEYRE THE SAME PERSON EW WHAT ARE YOU DOING THATS SO GROSS” I would gather up all my toys and leave and go somewhere else and keep playing. It was my escape from reality. If you get mean about it you don’t get to play with my toys and that’s that.)
At the end of the day, I’m a Multishipping writer. I ship everything under the sun and moon and stars. I ship many forms of it, healthy or not. If you don’t like that, feel free to block me. Go ahead and moderate your experience, PLEASE.
I would rather you block something that disturbs you and have you protect your own mental health than go into the comments and ruin someone else’s mental health.
I suppose most people would call me a pro-shipper, because I AM “let other people do as they wish and ship what they want”. We are human beings, we have agency, we are free to do whatever we want. But I don’t identify myself as such because I do NOT want to have to do battle with people who throw a fit because “not everyone has the same opinions and views as them”. I do not have the mental capacity or health to be a part of that war.
Please for the love of everything you care about leave me out of it. If you try to drag me into this stupid thing or send hate my way for this I WILL block you. It would be to moderate my own experience AND to protect my mental health. I won’t hesitate.
And if you think asking on anon would stop that- no. It won’t. There are ways to track down your account if you have one and just hit the anon button. I am not afraid to use it.
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vegaspng · 3 months
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Raina/The Cast’s Dynamics (OC)
Thought this would be fun so I joined ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ || Raina’s established spouse is Julian ! || Warning, yapfest ahead 😓
Julian: In her words, he is her ‘beloved, beautiful, and very eccentric drama king’. In all seriousness, He’s been a light in her life — one of her first friends since she moved to Vesuvia, always taking her to the most lively places and ranting about common interests together. Their first meeting before the plague arose was at a local tavern during a celebration, and they clicked instantly over their love of medical practice and not-so-fun facts for the surrounding patrons. Ever since they found each other again, they’ve been an inseparable pair. They became regular actors in the local theatre after saving the world, because why not? And Julian now enjoys — although reluctantly at first— learning and dabbling in spells that Raina shows him, finally embracing magic.
Asra: When she initially woke up, the sight of their face provided an odd, fuzzy and euphoric feeling, and they’ve been a safe space ever since. There’s a lingering scent of cardamom and violets on him that is mysteriously comforting, and seeing Asra and Faust can make a bad day worlds better. Recovering and relearning after death would have never been possible without them, and Raina is grateful to them eternally for it. They would never return from a trip without at least one shiny item for her insatiable curiosity. A fond memory they both share is when she began to relearn magic, it came to her naturally. (There were a couple explosions but who cares about that?)
Nadia: A gorgeous, kind, intelligent woman in power who happens to be good friends with her teacher? Sign her up. They often arrange luncheons and casual tea parties on free days to catch up, chatting happily until the late hours of the day into the evenings. During the interrogation session (post-plague and murder), things were slightly awkward. It was clear as day that the “detective” and the “suspect” cared deeply for one another, and in her eyes — it was the comedic relief they all needed at the time. Nadia often jokes about it during masquerades lightheartedly, bringing up how fervently Julian can dodge subjects. In her eyes, she is a loyal, dedicated, and generous countess, but an even better friend.
Muriel: They’ve always had a quiet understanding since Raina was resurrected: ‘We may not talk much, but It’s okay to consider us friends.’ Oftentimes she’d come over with Asra, bringing simpler gifts as not to overwhelm him, but sometimes— Raina visited on her own to feed the chickens, play with Inanna, or simply drop by to say hello. They silently trust each other and are willing to help the other in times of urgent need. Sometimes Muriel will have a gift in return, like a freshly made snack, or a wood sculpture, but he’s always a little embarrassed to give it to her directly.
Portia: As the little sibling to her spouse, they’re universally obligated to be best friends. They poke fun at Julian but simultaneously care for him the most. They work together to make the best pastries and dishes weekly, and love to experiment in the kitchen. Julian is happily the tester for the ideas his wife and baby sister come up with (this is how they get him to eat normally, it works deviously well!). They go shopping and have picnics frequently with Nadia, enjoying one another’s company. Portia appreciates not just being seen as ‘Julian’s sister’ or ‘Head servant’ and loves being able to be herself. Has always been thankful that Raina decided to help her brother clear his name instead of condemning an innocent man, who was also her only remaining family.
Lucio: If it weren’t for all the atrocities he’s committed, his sassy attitude, the way he mistreated her friends and the citizens of Vesuvia, and bringing a LITERAL PLAGUE among other misfortune into her life, maybe, just maybe they could’ve been friends. After finding out the depth of his character, it took everything in her not to beat the absolute dog crap out of him in the magical realms. Raina is a firm believer in Lucio slander, and sees him as a failure of a Count, and a weak man. Makes fun of his receding hairline too.
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admin-resources · 14 days
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𝐫 𝐞 𝐚 𝐥 𝐥 𝐢 𝐟 𝐞 + 𝐛 𝐫 𝐞 𝐚 𝐤 𝐬
༊*·˚ we should always remember that we are real people with real lives
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༊*·˚ life obligations
↳ ❝ everyone who comes into the community is different in terms of how they speak, where they are from and even the obligations that we have in our day-to-day is different. some people are working, in university, and have family obligations. this place is for fun and shouldn't take priority over any life obligations. make sure to maintain a balance between the two so that you aren't exhausting yourself but also never expect other people to put rp before their own life obligations. pushing people to reply within a certain time frame can cause some people to not want to rp or can take away the fun of rp. ❞
༊*·˚ is running a chatbot the best thing for you to do?
↳ ❝ this is an important question to ask yourself before joining the community because it can take up time and energy to be active. you need to be able to commit time to your chatbot because you are not doing this alone. interactions and activity are usually the best way to maintain relationships with other chatbots. if you are unable to, this can cause friction. while you are not obligated to give anyone your time, think about the rp in the sense that the only way to grow is to interact, rp and be active. this doesn't mean be active daily or every hour but communicating with others so someone isn't investing their time into you, only for you to never be around. there have been many people who have joined the community and started relationships only to leave within a few weeks and left their rp partners feeling lost and upset — if you don't want that to happen to you, don't do it to other people. ❞
༊*·˚ mental health and chatbot
↳ ❝ while not intentional, chatbot can take a toll on your mental health if you are not careful about it. remembering that this is for fun and everything is fictional may not be as easy if you are in a vulnerable state and use chatbot as an escape. if you cannot separate fiction from reality and project your issues onto chatbot and have your rp partners deal with them, this can cause people to take a step back. while conflict and angst is all well and good, using your ocs to project on is unhealthy as your rp partner is not your therapist and shouldn't be made to deal with your real-life issues. your mental health comes first, always, and if you need to step back to get better — you are allowed and encouraged to do so. ❞
༊*·˚ taking a break
↳ ❝ there has been some issues in the past about people taking breaks or not wanting to take breaks which goes back to the expectation placed upon an rp partner. if you need to take a hiatus, absolutely do so. make sure to communicate with your rp partners, let them know you will be taking a break or make a post, tag them and log out of chatbot for as long as you need to; if you think you will be gone for months, they might move on but it's okay as you can always come back and make new relationships. i will talk about admin relationships in another section but it is important to say that taking breaks because you are worn out or dealing with a lot is never something to be ashamed of or guilted over. ❞
༊*·˚ boundaries
↳ ❝ everyone has boundaries, the hardest thing to do is navigate these boundaries and respect our own. usually, people will have their admin and oc boundaries written on their account. if you want to interact with someone, the best thing to do is to look at their rules and go from there — do not push someone's boundaries simply because you want to rp with them. if someone is pushing your boundaries or something they are doing crosses yours, simply shoot the admin a message and tell them. ❞
༊*·˚ "it's not that deep"
↳ ❝ this is a phrase often heard and while to an extent it is true, it can come across as invalidating. the community is a place to have fun, to build friendships and rp with others in whichever way we choose. it is not something that should deeply impact our day-to-day lives or cause us mental distress. if something happens between two ocs then it isn't really that deep because they are fictional but it doesn't mean you cannot have an emotional response. you are allowed to feel upset if a ship you like ends, you are allowed to be happy if your oc gets proposed to, and you are allowed to have emotional response about things that happen to your ocs. however, don't allow this to affect your life — that is where it is not that deep. if you have a deeply emotional response where you are taking it out of bot and into your real life then you need to take a step back. yes, we spend time and put a lot of love into what we create but like any movie we watch, book we read or game we play — it is not real and doesn't actually impact us. if a ship you've spent hours, weeks, months or years working on has ended for any reason, you are allowed to be upset, you are allowed to be like "awww, that sucks" but do not take it personally or make it seem like you, as the admin, was broken up with. ❞
༊*·˚ reaching out and getting support
↳ ❝ sometimes, we can get overwhelmed and maybe people won't understand. sometimes, we could have negative things happen within the community and we don't know how to deal with it. building connections with your rp partners can help you navigate some things but if you are unsure who to talk to, feel free to reach out here for some advice and support. this is a safe space for all. ❞
༊*·˚ leaving the community
↳ ❝ over time, you will lose interest, life will get too busy or sadly, there will be drama that will cause them to want to leave. whatever the reason, it is okay to leave the community. something i've heard and experienced first-hand is when people simply leave and never say anything. whether you delete completely or just log out and not come back, communicating with the people you have connections with is better than simply leaving them in the lurch. ❞
༊*·˚ joining and returning to the community
↳ ❝ regardless of whether you leave and return or are new and joining, the best thing to do is to adapt to what is around you. hopefully, this guide will help newcomers learn about the community. when joining, the best thing to do is respect who is already around and learn the basic rules and etiquette of the community. if you are returning, know that things might not be the same as you remember especially if you've been gone for a while. it is okay to feel lonely and not know where to begin but you'll adapt and find your rhythm in no time. it is a safe space for all and some people like to protect that space so remember that everyone is human and has feelings regardless of whether you are talking to the oc or the admin. ❞
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༊*·˚ feel free to send in your experiences, advice and any input you would like for this section as the more sources, the better
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bebepac · 2 years
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The Good Part
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Series:  The Rotten Apple 🍎 The Book:  TRH and Beyond! The Pairings:  Eleanor x Nico / Eleanor x M!OC) / Liam x Riley Word Count: 4940 Warnings and Ratings:  Teen: Mentions of mental illness, mention of character deaths Song Inspiration:  The Good Part by AJR Summary: Nico comes to visit Eleanor and unknowingly brings a stowaway.  Eleanor leaves the hospital to begin a new life in Greece. 
Original Post: 08/21/22 at 10:50PM EST. 
A/N:  We are finally here at the first installment of the finale of this series.  Again, I am really content with the story I’ve presented to you all so far, and I hope that you have enjoyed it too, and look forward to the conclusion for this little family I have created for Eleanor.  
“Eleanor you’re beaming.”
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“I’ve never felt quite like this before.”
“Tell me about what you’re feeling. Is it Nicolas? I heard he had visited."
Ellie’s smile widened.  
“Nico wants me to come home to him and our daughter, Doctor Stanley.  I didn’t think I had a home anywhere anymore.”
“How does that make you feel, Eleanor?”
“Incredibly happy.”  Her smile faded.  “Also sad at the same time.”
“Why sad?”  
“Because I wonder, why does he love me? Why do they love me?”
“Why shouldn’t he? Why wouldn't they?”  
"My own mother doesn't even love me, and she was supposed to be that person I was supposed to have an unbreakable bond with. She was supposed to unconditionally love me and she doesn’t. My father loves me now, only because he got to know me, but if he had known I wasn't his genetic child, he wouldn't have wanted me either. Do you know how hard it has been for me to find my own path in the world, when I know my parents would have ended my life before it began, because of my true lineage? I wasn't supposed to be in this world at all, Doctor Stanley."
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"But you are Eleanor, so what are you going to do with that?"
“Try to change, because I’ve done horrible things that I’m sure you’re aware of. I am a bad person. I want to be the person they deserve.”
“Eleanor, look at me.”  
Elle’s downcast eyes slowly drifted up to meet the eyes of her therapist.
“You are the person they deserve. But, you’ve also had horrible things happen to you.  You were fractured long before  you committed those crimes, and that was not your fault. It wasn’t. Being fractured does not make you bad, evil, or unworthy of love.  It just makes you… a person. People fracture in a lot of ways, some are just not as clear as what happened to you.  You said you were ready?”
“Yes."
"Then let's continue on this path talking about this, you’re doing great. This is exactly what I want you to do, you need to address these thoughts and feelings you have. You have to understand and acknowledge them, all of it!  Grieve for it if you must,  and move past them, to get to a healthier place. I believe you can get to a healthier place.  One of the things we have to do which I know that really upsets you, is we have to talk more about your mother; A lot more.  It’s not going to be easy, but it’s something we have to do. You have to forgive her, and yourself.”
“I don’t know how….”
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“It’s going to take time Eleanor.”    
Doctor Stanley increased Elle’s therapy sessions  as Elle was finally benefitting from them, and talking during her sessions.  After a month they were really beginning to make headway.  Doctor Stanley thought it would be a very positive thing for Elle’s recovery for Nico to come back and visit, but also bring Ana with him.  Elle refused.  Doctor Stanley had already spoken to Nico and when he called her that evening,  he tried to convince Elle as well.  
“Elle please.”
“No Nico.”
“Don’t make me tell her no.”  
“It’s out of the question. NO.”  
“Doctor Stanley promised me they can make a nice little area for us to visit.  We could even have a little picnic together, by the lake.  Why don’t you let them show you what  they can do for us, and then you can make your decision?”
“Because I don’t want our daughter to ever be near a building like this.  Not even if she is coming to see me.  This is not the place where I want her to meet me for the first time.”  
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“Elle, she’s not meeting you for the first time.”
“Birth doesn’t count Nico.  Those first three months of her life don’t count because she doesn’t remember me from that. I am the only one with memories of her.”
“Elle, she knows I’m coming to see you.  She’s going to be so hurt when I tell her no.”
“It’s for the best. You understand why, right?"
"I do Elle, but  you're not the one who has to tell her no and see the look on her face. She doesn't care where we are Elle, just so long as we're all together. She just wants to see you, Elle. You're all she talks about now."
"I care Nico, and she will see me, when I…."
"Come home. You can say it Elle. It's going to happen.  You have to believe it too."
"When I come home."
"I don't agree with you doing this Elle, but I understand why you feel this way. I'll see you on Saturday."
After hanging up with Elle he walked into Ana's room where she was reading a book. Nico sat on the edge of her bed.
Since he didn't speak, Ana ignored him and continued reading. But Nico was trying to find the right words to gently break the news to Ana.
"Ana?"
With a little sigh first, Ana looked up from her book as if she had been interrupted. Nico was getting sass from both the main women in his life.
"Yes Papa?"
"I want to talk to you about Saturday."
Ana's face immediately brightened and excitement completely illuminated her face.
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"We're going to see Mommy! I can't wait! Can I wear my pink dress with the green flowers?"
"Honeybee, Mommy thinks it's best for you to wait until she's able to come home so she can see you."
The look on Ana's face broke his heart, when her eyes filled with tears.
"Mommy doesn't want to see me?"
"No! That's not it at all. Mommy just wants to wait so we can all have fun together and eat ice cream, and swim in the ocean. Stuff we can do here together,  that we can't do there.  Mommy can't wait to see you."
"Then you don't want me to go?"
"Ana, I want you to see Mommy. I know you want to go with me."
"Then let me go with you Papa, and we can surprise Mommy."
"Not this time Honeybee, I'm sorry."
He went to gently rub Ana's arm, she pushed him away.
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"Ana, please don't be like that with me."
Ana turned away from him, cuddling one of her teddy bears. Nico gently rubbed her back.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" Ana screamed.  Nico pulled his hand away and  abruptly stood, walking towards the door, but he paused when he heard Ana's little sniffles.
"Honeybee…" He whispered softly.
"Go away Papa."
Nico softly closed the door behind him, leaning against it.
When Saturday morning rolled around,  Ana didn't even want to eat breakfast with him before he left;  Ana had plans of her own.
Elle
"Thank you for this, it's beautiful, Dr. Stanley."
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"We had some clothes here for family visits, and this one looked like it would fit you.  It's not much, I know you are used to garments made from finer materials than this.”
“That was a lifetime ago, it feels like, and to be honest a lot of it is overrated. Trust me when I say, I will never wear a corseted ball gown ever again. To be honest, I never felt very comfortable in that type of clothing anyway.”
Dr. Stanley smiled.  
“We still want to give you access to the lake area for the afternoon, Since you and Nicolas look to be rekindling your relationship.  It could be a nice little romantic afternoon for the two of you.”
Elle smiled.  “I was thinking so too.”  
“As long as you keep it PG.”  
“Duly noted.”  
Elle felt nervous getting ready.  It was the first time she had seen Nico since his declaration of love…their declaration of love.
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 In the weeks that followed, she had been showered with calls from him and letters from both him, and Ana.  
Ana.
Her little girl.  The last time saw her in the flesh she could cradle her in her arms, and was dependent on her, for her very survival. 
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 Now she was an independent child that could walk, talk, feed herself; she had grown up. Elle had missed so much.
She had spoken to Ana multiple occasions. When Nico gave Ana the phone to let her talk to Elle, he could barely get the phone back.  Ana became a chatterbox and would recount for Elle everything she could remember from the last time they spoke. Elle loved every second of it, learning about Ana’s school, her cousins, the family, and every little thing her daughter thought was important enough to tell her.  It was almost overwhelming for her to be showered with so much affection, but Nico and Ana were her family.
Staff had given  Elle a little makeup which she used sparingly on her skin.  It had been quite some time since Elle had worn her hair loose, she thought Nico might like that.   Once Elle was ready  she grabbed the little pink teddy bear before she left her room.  It made her think of Ana, and she knew they would be talking about her a lot.  She felt she needed that little extra comfort today.  
Ana
Papa thought he was smart but so was she. Ana had an idea and she wasn’t taking no for an answer.  
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Ana had packed her little overnight bag the night before. She went to the closet and picked up her dress she wanted to wear for Mommy. She slipped it on and tied a little green ribbon in her hair the way her father had taught her to. She had one chance to get this right. 
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Ana waited until she heard the boat whistle to hop out of the window, to land on the porch, her foot falls masked by the loud whistle, and she ran as fast as her feet could carry her for her father's vehicle, using the spare key fob to unlock the vehicle. Papa always had a blanket in back, the perfect thing for her to hide under. She was great at hiding, and Papa wouldn't find her until it was too late.  She was going to see Mommy today and nobody could stop her.  Ana curled up into a tiny ball under the blanket, waiting for her father to leave.
Nico and Mama K
"Where is Ana? She's usually an early riser like you."
"She's still angry with me Mama. She wants to see Elle, but Elle doesn't want her to come to see her at the hospital."
"Children have funny memories sometimes. There are memories that you have of your father where you only remember the good parts. Or parts you remember of our family you remember the good parts. Do you remember that camping trip we had in the backyard?  When we had flashlights and ate food we cooked by the fire?"
Nico smiled recollecting that time with his mother and sisters.
"Yes, it was one of my favorite weekends that we ever spent as a family."
"Nico, we had no electricity and barely any food. That's why we 'camped' outside. The temperature was cooler outside than it was in the house. You don't remember that part do you?"
"No…"
"I really don't think Ana would mind where she was or remember what you and Elle think are the big details if it was just you, Elle, and her, and she is spending time with her family."
Nico glanced at Ana's closed door.  
"Are you going to say goodbye to her?"
Nico went up to her door and  sheepishly knocked.
"Ana? I'm getting ready to leave. May I have a hug?"
There was silence on the other end.
"I know you're sad, and mad at me, and I'm sorry for that. I love you Honeybee."
There was still no response from Ana; He turned to face his mother.
"She's never been this angry with me that she just won't speak to me before.  I'm just going to let  her be. Give her a little space Mama. She was so upset. Can you make her favorite meal for me, and give her a kiss and a hug?"
"Of course Nico. She'll be fine. Talk to Elle. Tell her about your childhood. She will understand."
She glanced at the door, laughing softly.
"Wait until she's a teenager. All those emotions! And when she wants to start dating."
Mama K's laughter increased with the absolutely mortified look on Nico's face.
"She's not dating until she's thirty."
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"But Elle will be there to help you with that part."
"I hope so, Mama."
Nico walked up to the vehicle, using his key fob to unlock the door.
The doors were already unlocked, which wasn't odd, but he was pretty sure the last time he had gotten out of his vehicle he locked it. Nico decided since his bag was small he decided to put it on the back seat, instead of in the trunk.  In a few moments he was on his way.
The soft music and her father's singing lulled Ana to sleep in the back of the vehicle where she was hiding.
When Ana woke again, it was because her tummy was growling. 
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She had packed a snack and her favorite juice, eating silently as possible under the covers.
Nico's phone started ringing.
Nico slammed on the brakes, causing Ana to spill her juice.
"Mama, what do you mean Ana isn't there?!?" She has to be." Nico’s voice was panicked.
"She's not here, I have looked everywhere for her."
"Did you check her hiding place she likes to go and read?"
"Yes Nico, she's not there."
Nico cursed under his breath and sighed.
"I'm going to turn around and come back home. Elle will have to understand this is an emergency."
Nico smelled the strong scent of pineapple juice throughout the vehicle, Ana’s favorite juice that she loved to drink.
"Mama hold on a moment."
Nico had pulled his SUV over and got out walking back to the vehicle's trunk.  Ana  tried to stay as still as she could under the blanket.
"Ana?"
She didn't respond, but he noticed the blanket move a little. Nico yanked the blanket away.
"Ana!"
“Papa.”  
"Mama! She's fine, she hid in my trunk! I'll call you back."
He looked down at Ana. His voice was stern when he spoke, but he truly wasn't angry with her, only angry for the fact she disobeyed him.
“Ana, I told you, it was for the best that you not come with me this time around.”
"I’m sorry, I just wanted to see her Papa, and I spilled my drink on my dress. I wanted to look pretty for Mommy, but I messed up.”  
Ana burst into tears.  
“Oh, Honeybee….”  
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Nico didn't hesitate for a moment and picked Ana up from the trunk, hugging her close to him, gently rubbing her back.
“Shhhh… it’s alright.  We’ll get you cleaned up okay? It's not the dress that makes you pretty Honeybee. Mommy will think you're beautiful just as you are, just like I do. I promise.”  
“Is Mommy going to be mad at me?”  
“No Honeybee, she won't.”  
If anything, Nico was pretty sure that she would be upset with him.  He wiped Ana’s tears  carrying her around to the back seat.
“Sit in your seat, I need to make a quick call.”
He stepped away from the vehicle, making a call  to Elle’s doctor explaining the situation to Doctor Stanley.
“Nico, I believe Eleanor can handle it.  She really wants to see Ana, but she is so afraid of Ana being close  to the hospital.  It’s almost like she has an irrational fear that the hospital is going to infect Ana with mental illness.”
“I know it’s short notice, but can you make up the area the way you all had planned for us?”
“Yes, and we'll add a few special things for Ana as well.”  
“Thank you. I am so incredibly grateful for the things you are doing for us.”  
“You’re welcome Nicolas.  All these years, all the patients I’ve had, no one has made quite the impression on me that Eleanor has.  I’ve met the deplorable that aren’t worth redemption, that shouldn’t be given a second chance in society.  That’s never been Eleanor from the moment I met her, even though she tried to hide her true self all this time.  I’ll be on standby just in case you all need me, but I don’t think you will.  Eleanor wants to see her daughter desperately. I think it’s a good thing you had a little stowaway. This might be the push Eleanor needs to drive her over the threshold, seeing what she could truly have with the two of you, what it could be like, to really push herself that much harder towards healing herself.”
“Thank you again."
He went back to check on Ana. They stopped so that he could help Ana get cleaned up, and they drove to the ferry that would take them into Portavira. Both were nervous and excited, they were going to see Elle.
Elle
Elle sat at the small decorated picnic table facing the gate, waiting patiently for Nico to arrive, so she could see him the moment he walked through.   She glanced around the area, there was an adorable little spot that was set up for a picnic,  even a swing,  and some games. She didn’t think she would be playing the games with Nico, but she remembered he liked to play chess. Elle was horrible at it.  
Elle stood when she saw him walk through the gate, she smiled and waved when his eyes met hers. Nico smiled back at her.  The gate remained open and  Nico reached out his hand.  Ana walked  through the gate, taking his hand, and they proceeded towards Elle. The smile had faded  from Elle’s face, replaced with a look of shock.
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Nico’s heart was racing, Elle’s eyes were fixed on Ana.
“That’s my Mommy?” Ana asked him. Nico paused, kneeling down to her smiling in Elle’s direction.
“Yes, that’s your Mommy. She's beautiful isn't she?”  
Ana nodded.
“She looks like a goddess Papa.”  
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Elle was beautiful in her simplicity.  She was wearing a long flowing off the shoulder flower printed dress, and tan colored sandals.  Her hair pinned up on one side by flowers and the rest cascaded over her shoulders and down her back.  
“I always thought so too. Let's go say hi to her. She's waiting on us for once. Are you ready?”
Ana patted down her hair, and straightened her dress.  
"I'm ready Papa."
They walked over to where Elle was standing.
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"Nico…"
"Elle.."
"Please don't be mad at Papa.  I didn't obey, because I wanted to see you."
"You wanted to see me?" Elle asked, her eyes filled with tears.
Ana nodded. "May I hug you Mommy?"
"I would really like that."
Ana  let go of Nico's hand to throw her arms around Elle.
Finally the tears  that filled her eyes rolled down her cheeks in rivers, as she hugged Ana.  Nico stepped forward to wipe Elle's tears.
"I'm sorry… this is what I really wanted." She whispered to him. Ana’s grip around her tightened.
"Well good thing, your daughter is just as stubborn as you."
"Good thing."  Elle directed her attention to Ana.  “What would you like to do first?  I don’t have much here, but  we could eat lunch, we could play games, maybe swing for a little bit.”
“You can pick Honeybee, whatever you want us to do first.”  
“Can we eat? I’m hungry.”
“I knew you’d say that.  She didn’t eat breakfast.”
“I’m glad you said that, I’m hungry too. I didn’t eat breakfast either. And you’ll have to tell me how you got into your Papa’s car without him seeing you.”  
Nico sat at the table thinking Ana would sit next to him, instead she sat  close to Elle.
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“Is she allergic to anything Nico?”
“No she isn’t, and she’s not a picky eater at all.”  
“Giagiá is the best cook.  Papa cooks okay.”
“Papa cooks just okay?!?!?!  You always clean your plate when I cook for you!!!”
Elle laughed.  
“Can you cook?”  Ana asked her.
“Ana.” Nico’s voice was slightly stern when he saw the embarrassed blush on Elle’s cheeks.
“It’s okay, Nico.  No Ana, I don’t know how,  but I can learn.”
“That’s okay, I can help, so can Papa, and Giagiá won’t let us be hungry.”  
Elle smiled and eyes widened as Ana told the story of how she had sneaked out of the house early that morning and hid in the back of Nico’s car.  
Nico smiled as Ana  continued talking to Elle.  
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He had never seen Ana open up so much to someone almost so immediately, or Elle for that manner.
She chuckled harder at Nico’s surprised face, and his slack jaw.  
“You are quite the escape artist.”  
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Elle smiled. “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.  That sounds like your Papa.”
Ana rested her head on Elle.  Elle seemed surprised at first but embraced her.  
“I’m so glad you’re here right now Ana.”  
After they ate, they played checkers, then with the frisbee. Both Elle and Ana took off their sandals to run and play in the grass.  As much  as Nico had wanted to spend some time with Elle to figure out what all this was truly going to mean for them,  he knew this time with them together rebonding was more important. He had Ana for years, Elle only had the afternoon getting to know their daughter.  So Nico let go of the little twinges of jealousy he had with Ana choosing to be close to Elle, and he  hung back and let Ana and Elle have that special time together.
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“I have something for you.  If you don’t like it, that's okay; I’ll understand.  You might not even like them anymore.”  
“Like what?”  Ana inquired.
Elle held out the little pink teddy bear for Ana to take.
“It used to be yours when you were a baby, but you left it.  So I kept it for you.  It used to smell like you.”  
“I love it!  Thank you!”  Ana hugged Elle again, then afterwards hugged the bear close breathing in the bear’s fur.
“Now it smells like you Mommy.”  
Ana was the very best parts of the two of them. Nico had been a wonderful father to her.  Elle could not be sad or upset that though her daughter had missed her, she had really flourished in Nico’s care.  Nico had surrounded her with family and love.  
“I think there’s a hammock swing calling our name.”  
“Yes, that sounds perfect.”
They all got into the hammock, getting comfortable in the warm afternoon air.  Ana cuddled closer to Elle, resting her head on Elle’s chest.  
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Ana in turn pulled Nico's arm to drape over her, and Elle, causing him to pull the two of them closer to him in an embrace.  Ana was quite the little match maker. She always had been.  Elle thought back to that night Nico held them both in his arms, so she could get some rest. Elle closed her eyes for a moment.  They were her little family.  They were hers.  Elle felt safe, and content.  
“Papa, tell me our story.”  
“You’ve heard it a thousand times Honeybee.”  
“Then we can hear it a thousand plus one times!”  
“Fine fine fine.  I’ll tell it only if you help me tell it. Will you help me, Honeybee?”  
“Yes Papa I will!!!”  
“Okay, we’ll take turns.  I’ll start us off.  Once upon a time there was a very beautiful princess, who lived in a castle, and she was the fairest of them all.”  
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“That’s you Mommy.”  
Elle listened to both Nico and Ana take turns telling parts of the story,  the story of the two of them, in a way that Ana could understand; He had even told her about Nicolai.  He had been so very honest with Ana, over the years about everything.
"What happens next?” Elle asked during the pause.
“It’s your turn Honeybee.”  
Ana was silent.
"Honeybee?" Nico whispered.
“I think she fell asleep, Nico, with her ear to my heart like she used to do when she was a baby.  It’s like she remembers that.”  
“Honestly, I think deep down she does.  She’s shy around people, Elle and seeing the way she just opened up to you so immediately is very uncharacteristic of her. I know my daughter. I watch her very closely. She is only that open with people she knows. That part of her is you, Elle.  She is very similar to you, and it runs deeper than just her features. I used to read a lot, and wondered what she would remember, if she could remember you.  Everything I read said she would forget.  But for the longest time, before she could talk, and even after she began speaking, she would just look around the room, almost frantic at times, like she was looking for something, for someone, and I firmly believe in my soul, she was looking for you Elle, and she looked heartbroken that she couldn’t find you.”  
“Nico…”  
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“So, on her first birthday, I started telling her about you, in the form of a bedtime story.”  
“Thank you for being the father to her that I knew you would be.  I heard my father visits her.”  
“He does.”
“Alone?”  
“Yes.”  
“I figured as much.”  
“Elle… Queen Riley….”  
Elle’s body tensed in his arms.  
“I don’t want to talk about her, not here, not now.”  
Ana woke up a little while later, and Elle knew  they would be coming out soon  to take her back inside. She made the best of the remaining time they had together, now that Ana was awake again.  When the sun was starting to set, two orderlies headed in their direction.  It was time. Elle glanced at Nico.
“Ana, it’s time for us to go.”  
“But I don’t want to.  I want to stay.”  
Elle kneeled.  “I know. I don’t want  either of you to go.  But we’ll be together again soon, I promise. Until then, Lady Cupcake can keep you company.”  
“Lady Cupcake?”  
“Yes, I gave Lady Cupcake lots of hugs, so when you hug her, she’ll give one of my hugs back to you.  So it will be like you’re hugging me while you’re away.  But for now, can I have one more hug before you go, one that I can hold on to?”
Nico stood back letting the two hug each other.  When it was his turn, he embraced Elle once more.  
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“We’ll be back in a few weeks.”
“Alright.”  
“Aren’t you going to kiss her Papa?”  
“She’s a little matchmaker like her Aunt Liberty.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.”  Nico whispered.    
Both laughed for a moment before their eyes met.  
Nico slipped his arms around her.  “I mean look where we are right now.”
“You’re exactly right.”  
Elle closed her eyes when Nico closed in for a kiss, setting her whole body on fire.  
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Elle didn’t want to let go of him when the kiss deepened, but was compelled to after a few moments when she heard one of the orderlies lightly clear their throat.  Elle pulled away from him.  
“I have to go.”  She whispered.
Nico pulled her close, kissing her again for a few moments.  He pulled away when he heard them call her name.  
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“We’ll see you in a few weeks.”  
“I’ll be waiting.”
Elle watched Nico and  Ana until they were at the gate, before she headed inside.  
Doctor Stanley was correct in her assumption, Elle seeing Ana and Nico and having that time together and subsequent times afterwards had emotionally propelled Elle to push herself in ways leading her towards a healthy lifestyle outside of the hospital.
“What if I can’t do it?”  
“But what if you can, why are you afraid of that Eleanor?”  
“Because she needs me, and I don’t want to disappoint her.  I don’t want her to hate me, because I can’t give her what she needs. I don’t want to lose her. Lose them again.”  
“You won’t.  You are not your mother Eleanor.  Do you realize, from the moment Ana was born, actually before she was born, you have put her first?  You have been selfless, and you chose to be here when this was not where you wanted to be, because you wanted a life with your daughter someday.  You can do this Eleanor.  Greece is where you need to be, with your family.  You said the happiest time of your life was when you spent time with Nico in Greece, and when the two of you were caring for Ana.”
“Yes.”  
“You can have it all Eleanor, you’ll be home before your daughter’s eighth birthday.”  
“I could make her a cake.  I don’t know how, but I know I could do it.”  
“You can do it.  Nico will be here in the morning to pick you up.”  
“He’s in Portavira already?”  
“Yes he’s here.  Here is the name of a therapist locally to you, that you will start weekly  check ins with.”
“This is really happening isn’t it?”
“Yes it is, Eleanor you’re going home.”
Since Elle was leaving this part of her life behind, she decided to donate most of her clothes.  She had come to the hospital with the clothes on her back, now she was leaving the same way.  
“Ready to go home?”  Nico asked.
“Yes. Let’s go home.”  
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salty-protagonist · 9 months
Text
Our Ciel Will Die By Drowning.
The title is self explanatory as for what this post is.
We have reached chapter 201, there is still a long way to go. But through all the content we were given something is apparent: our protagonist (short one) will die before the series ends.
Now, I honestly think that it will include Sebastian (duh) and have something to do with the contract. But my gut says that our Ciel’s death will not be fully controlled by the demonic involvements.
Before I begin justifying why I think Ciel will die by drowning, I want to make it clear that I feel as though until we reach the hotel mini-arc, a lot of puzzle pieces will still be missing so any detail involving characters (other than Sebastian) are simply speculations.
Ophelia
In chapter 23, the police come to the Phamtomhive Mansion in order to conclude the crimes committed Indian Butler Arc by Agni. While touring the mansion, one of the police stalk about the drawings on the wall. He goes into detail about the painting titled “Ophelia”
Ophelia a is from Shakespeare’s Hamlet who upon learning that Hamlet didn’t choose to end up with her, goes out to collect wild plants but fall in water and drowns. (It is also written as a note in the English fan translation I found)
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Here is the painting:
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In the following page, the painter Waterhouse is also mentioned. I wasn’t able to decpiher which painting the police guy was talking about as he didn’t give a name and the image in the manga isn’t enough. Waterhouse has painted Ophelia as well.
Although it would be easier to assume this is just a silly reference, every little detail in this manga series can create avalanches that end up characters who have been presumed to be dead for years reappearing.
The rejection can be Lizzie’s relationship with them and choosing R!Ciel after everything. Or it can be applied to broader sense and be accepted as everyone turning their backs on O!Ciel after the true heir shows up.
Lau’s Omnipotence
Lau is known for always saying something serious then following it up with a random funny remark. It is still very noticeable that he always says less than what he truly knows. The following panels follow each other (right to left). They are in different pages so I had to separate the images.
(In the official translations I have, it uses “to drown” in the second panel directly in my native language)
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There is a picture of someone (probably OC) sinking in a body of water (bog, as it is said here). It may appear as just a metaphor but the image and Lau’s general creepiness makes it seem like a variety of this will actually happen.
Anime Opening 1
The anime is very different from the manga with there being additional characters and storylines. Still, many of them still bear similarities to the newly introduced characters in the series. However, for this post I believe the anime is not a good justification for the theory. So I will just stick to the opening of the first season.
There is this very obvious scene of O!Ciel drowning. That, of course, is the first thing that needs attentions. Afterwards, Sebastian does extend his hands in as though he is trying to save him. But there is no scene that shows he does so. This detail only counts towards their contract’s dynamic. But it leads my to believe that this moment will be the “checkmate” for O!Ciel. Sebastian will no longer need to stand behind him anymore kind of thing.
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The seconds evidence is the scene that comes just before the one mentioned in the paragraph above. O!Ciel is seen floating in a lake with flower petals falling. Notice how he is positioned to look like a body that’s in a coffin. He is motionless as well. Some religions/myths include water bodies being passageways for afterlife so it may be symbolizing that.
The flower patels are not from a white lily (the flower that symbolizes death and is seen on every grave in the series), but they are plain white petals. Them falling could be to create the same effect as in Madam Red’s funeral, when O!Ciel made red flower petals fall down in the church. I also think that the flowers make the image be perceived as the Ophelia paintings.
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I wrote this post 5 months ago, and been saving it as a draft but I decided to share it after all since I couldn’t continue writing it for a long time. There may be a part to in the future as this only includes evidence until the cruise tragedy and I think there can be a lot of clues after that too. Anyways, thank you for reading. If anyone else has already thought of these, please tell me and I’ll edit it accordingly.
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flowerslut · 5 months
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Since your post about J/asper x reader fics (which I 100% agree) I'd like to know what's your opinion about Jasper calling Alice darlin'
ughhhh. okay listen, I am a hater by nature. sometimes I can’t help it. and I KNOW and acknowledge and respect that people often use “darlin’” when they write jasper. it’s a harmless and common pet name and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it...
... however...... 🤢
and like!!! I know that I’m in the minority with this opinion! but picturing jasper saying 'darlin' (or 'baby' or 'honey' or most other pet names tbh) gives me the ick. it’s all personal preference, but I can not read fic where people emphasize his ~texan origins~ and interpret him as this bootleg country romeo. so it’s less that I hate him saying the word “darlin’” and more ‘a lot of people who write jasper write him as a straw-chewing thick-twanged casanova’ and it’s like…. in what world is this still jasper, yknow? I mean if it's for your personal fantasies or whatever, go off. but that is NOT the jasper I know and love and I need that man out of my house ASAP before snakes and demons start manifesting
but again: it's ALL personal preference. I just don’t want to read about a “southern gentleman” or whatever all these x r/eader people like. I want a quiet, low-key awkward war criminal. I want a slutty (retired) monster (also retired) whose current job is "hold wife's items and don't kill anyone". I want the man who has committed unforgivable atrocities in multiple lifetimes whose karmic punishment is a goddamn empathy superpower. I want the rabid dog that will go full scorched earth on someone for even daring to look at alice with any degree of contempt. the instant he starts talking like he does keg stands at ‘bama frat parties or is majoring in business at UT instead of someone who spent 80 years being a war machine, I’m instantly bored. that's why I can't stand most x r/eader stuff tbh, but I acknowledge that the reason there are jasper x r/eader fics on this site with thousands of notes is because there are some WHORES in this house (who just want self-insert OC jasper smut). and honestly, good for them.
to conclude, bc this is long enough; it's fine, it's valid, it's whatever, I just don't like it. but that doesn't mean other people shouldn't. remember kids: Your Kink is Not My Kink (And That's Okay!)
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neeseeart · 2 months
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My BooRai WIP stats
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So. As of right now, the number of written BooRai fan works I've published is...... zero. I recently announced my angst fic I Can Stop The World, with another reveal planned in a few weeks, but I've yet to actually publish anything 😭
Last night I was backing up all my WIPs, and I decided to go through and reorganize everything. I moved everything into new folders and checked their word counts. I was a little surprised by the numbers to be honest. Especially when compared to this word count update from 5 months ago: [link]
I thought it would be fun to post my stats so you can see how much I've been working on, even though I haven't started posting yet.
As of last night:
Total number of Google docs: 34 Outlined fics: 21 (mostly longfics) Comic WIPs: 7 Completed fics: 1 (a one-shot I'm not ready to post yet 😭) Ideas yet to be fleshed out: 12 Total BR fanfic word count: 517,362 Words this week: about 25,000
ICSTW (main angst fic, post-canon):
196,871 words 6 docs
SSATSF (Modern AU, upcoming reveal):
125,474 words 3 docs
Folklore AU (started recently):
23,289 words 2 docs
Comics (text only)
80,795 words 7 docs
Reference docs (OC masterlist, headcanons, language dictionary, etc.)
9149 words 5 docs
Okay, pause real quick. The first BooRai fic I started writing is a fluff comic (briefly mentioned here) that I started in late 2022. It was my only project until the day I started writing ICSTW in June 2023. Then I exploded in ideas and here we are. So, if I exclude that first comic's word count of 36,190...
...Then the total word count of BooRai fanfic I've written in the past 7 months is 481,172 words. That's about 2217 words per day, and 15,522 words per week.
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Now. This all just a bunch of numbers. Numbers don't mean the fics are any good. I value quality over quantity, so you can see why I haven't published anything yet. The ideas are all there! Tons and tons of dialogue is written. Detailed lore is laid out. Languages have been constructed! But the chapters themselves are not written. I don't write chronologically, and my stories are very elaborate. So even my main two fics, at 196k and 125k, are nowhere near complete. I haven't even finished fleshing out the early chapters 😭
You might be looking at this and thinking like.... "yeah bro you're not gonna finish most of those fics. It's not happening. You're gonna burn out." Mayhaps! I have a tendency to overdo things, and sometimes I overwhelm myself by making things bigger and more complicated than they need to be. But all in all, I like the way I create and I like having a few big projects and lots of tiny ones. I'm deeply invested in my major projects and I really do want to dedicate myself to publishing chapters in the next few months. But if I never finish them, that's okay too! The important thing is to enjoy making the thing... and I enjoy it immensely. Enough to write half a million words in 7 months, apparently
I've talked about my fic content to some irl people and they always respond with: "When the hell do you do all this? I literally never see you writing." In reality, yes they do. if you see me typing on my phone, I'm most likely writing. I kind of high-key spend 100% of my free time drawing and writing now. Which is a miracle after years of art block and creative sterility.
Another reason I wanted to share my numbers is that there are a lot of fellow AuDHD creators on this site, so there are bound to be at least a few of you who work just like I do. If you're one of those people, you probably know that it's easy to feel like the projects will never come to fruition. Don't lose heart!!! You have the strength to finish your projects at your own pace!!! And if you simply lack the will to finish, that's also okay! If you enjoy just writing down ideas without committing to a fully fleshed out work, that's a perfectly legitimate form of art and recreation. Godspeed my friends.
And as for the people who have been supporting my BR art and keeping track of my fic updates... You are the world and I am but a humble bean in service of your fancies. Thank you for your support. Here's a picture of me rereading my WIPs for the billionth time while y'all stand there and wait for me to start posting chapters:
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(P.S. I have about 80 fic-related art WIPs on my tablet.)
(P.P.S. stay tuned for my fictional language dictionary!!)
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anquenin · 3 months
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IMPORTANT TO NOTE. i am not affiliated with the larger baldur's gate 3 rp community, i am open to connecting with others and exploring dynamics with canon and oc characters alike, however i will not hesitate to soft block and unfollow people as i see fit. please read my rules, i want to have a good time here.
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I AM SELECTIVE AND PRIVATE that means that i will be selective of who i roleplay with, and will only thread with mutuals.
I AM A PLOT CENTERED BLOG i have too many blogs and there are specific things i want to explore with astarion, therefore there is a big focus on plotting, once we have digured out a dynamic or a timeline or have discussed our portrayals can we move on to wing some aspects of interactions.
PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THINGS ABOUT MY PORTRAYAL i am taking into consideration many things said and shown in the game but at the end of the day this is MY portrayal and talking with me is the best way to get to know it.
I SHIP CHEMISTRY and CHEMISTRY ONLY. meaning that after a couple of interactions or even in after discussing in depth i see the possibility of a romantic tone to the relationship we can discuss that with more detail
IN LINE WITH THE RULE ABOVE. i am extremely selective when it comes to developing a romantic dynamic with astarion, as we've seen his personality is very seductive and flirty but that does not equate to him having genuine feelings towards others. this is heavily related to his trauma, hence why it is important to me that we plot before we write.
THIS BLOG WILL FEATURE A HEAVY TRIGGERING CONTENT since this blog is baldur's gate 3 based, any trigger warnings on that material may occasionally apply ( triggers will be tagged as tw blood and cw blood ). not to mention that astarion has trauma, he's been enslaved, he's got sexual trauma that results in various trauma responses that although not always present it is something that he constantly struggles with. i do not take kindly to dismissing this aspect or him and i do not take kindly to infantilizing because of his trauma.
MUN IS 18+ and in line with the above rules, astarion at a point in his character arc has a very low libido and is restructuring his relationship with sex and his body, therefore UNLESS PLOTTED there won't be any sexual encounters with people he does not consider close or even people he doesn't consider his partner.
PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOU ARE A MINOR.
ALSO DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF you have no intention of engaging with my portrayal and ideas, i am not here to suplement you interacting with astarion via the game.
REGARDING ASCENDED ASTARION. i will write him i will explore dynamics with him, but i will not be doing so with the only purpose of it being that it satisfies someone's weird hot sexy ideal of him. that is the BAD ENDING for astarion, he doesn't make anyone into a vampire bride or groom, he turns his partner into a spawn with the sole purpose of having power over them. that's the dynamic. there may be some nuance but again. things will need to be plotted and discussed.
IF YOUR CHARACTER HAS COMMITTED R*PE do not follow me this is a big trigger of mine, i will hardblock you. 
I WON’T TOLERATE untagged drama and callout posts, please tag them i don’t care about you reblogging or making them i just hate seeing them on my dash so any posts you do, please make sure it’s tagged so my blacklist catches it.
REGARDING CHARACTERS THAT MAY BE CONSIDER PROBLEMATIC. safe to say i do not condone their actions, but i do not mind interacting with them. if that is a problem for you this is not the blog for you.
SPECIFICALLY REGARDING CAZADOR, i have very specific ideas and themes that i might potentially want to explore, but safe to say i will be extremely selective of who i would write the dynamic with. and regardless of verse, or AU...cazador is astarion's abuser. that's it. that's the core of the dynamic for me.
FOR ANY OPINION I MIGHT HAVE ON A CHARACTER DYNAMIC you can just ask, i will headcanon and talk more about dynamics as i continue the development in this blog.
I CREATED THE GRAPHICS i use here and the psd is by supersources.
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choppedmint · 3 months
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If I commit to talking about Morganville Vampires, I need to share a list of OCs before I start claiming someone exists when they don't. If you see any of the below names (baring certain Goldmans mentioned to be canonical) than they are fictious. I love them, but I made them the heck up. XD
Samuel Salinas: A really new vampire. Like really new. Worryingly new. Part of a plot new. And he's also 12. And also heck it, toss him at Myrnin, because having him deal with a child in mental distress was apparently a good idea to younger me and I'm loath to change my post canon plots nooooow. At any rate, I love him dearly, little sunshine boy. Uses he/him.
Pax Salinas: We repeat, worryingly new vampire. Sam's brother. Uses he/him.
Worrying large amount of Goldman vampires. Why? Because RPs. Do I remember which are my OCs anymore? Nooope. Theo and Patience and Patience Jr, and Jakob are the only four I know I didn't make up out of my head, but if the others are appear in the books, I'm assuming I just gave them names? If there are no mention of them (I think for example I gave Theo another kid in Marcel) than they're just made up.
Anyway. Marcel Goldman: Son of Theo Goldman. He's dead by the time my post-canon stories usually take place. Whoops. I ... really wish I'd fleshed him out more, but we're making up for lost time. We'll get there. he/him
Aaron Goldman: Grandson of Theo Goldman. He's an ass. I love him. Another of Bishop's little messed up 'let's change the children' ideas, along with his cousins Jakob and Patience Jr. So fun times there! He's less of an ass than Aurelia. Will protect his family with his life, thank you very much. he/him
Aurelia Goldman: Granddaughter of Theo Goldman. Also a really angry person. But we love her anyway. she/her
Julius Goldman: Human. Married Marcel and into the family. he/him
Penny Goldman: adopted by Julius and Marcel Goldman. she/her
Bella: She sucks. All you need to know. Sam and Pax's mom and a piece of work. she/her
Harquin Day: Not actually a member of Day family, but sort of adopted on somewhere down the line. Their Protector and occassionally will use their roof for star-gazing. General opinion of him is iffy in recent generations, just as a general reaction to all vampires, but he's slowly improving in their books. Not particularly scary on first look, tends to give off cool uncle vibes. But he can stand up for himself in a way that proves how he's managed to survive in this life. Rather impressive scowl. More 'distant' than anything and totally started using the 'Day' last name without permission, but no body remembers a time he didn't, so there's no one around to fight him on it anymore. He's a therapist, usually reserved for vampires, but has been known to take in the occassional other.
Uses they/he pronouns. Not old-old, but certainly has been around several centuries.
Janus: Officer in the police force. Vampire. Shane partners with her sometimes when he needs vampiric backup. I've only used her once, we'll see if I use her again. she/her Arthur Dee:
Historical figure, so technically exists, so heh? Anyway, was a brief fling of Myrnin's back in the early 16th century. I refuse to believe Myrnin is not queer shaped in some way, so I poked around for an old alchemist and found this man and now I've adopted him and writing a book about him. Please ask me about Arthur Dee, I can tell you how he accidently maybe on purpose murdered his in-law, it's great. ANYWAY he's not a vampire. 100% human and died in the mid 16th century. Myrnin does not like mentioning him. It ended very poorly. he/him John Smith:
Not that John Smith. I just lifted him from another story to briefly use as Amelie's bodyguard. I use him for the same purpose now and again. he/him
One would think I'd have more human characters, but noooo, not me. Though Julius is one of my favs, so like, maybe he makes up for it.
I have ART. These characters live on Art Fight, 'cause of course they do. I don't have anything for Harquin, Pax, Aaron, or Aurelia, despite having pages and pages of writing about all of them. Whoopsy. One would think the length of description equated to how much I liked them, but if anything it's the reverse. Don't get me wrong, love Harquin, but I've used them as a character (RP or stories) all of ... three times give or take. While the others are, like, practically main characters. But whatever.
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