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#i need to start copy pasting these because i hate tagging :(
jacensolodjo · 1 year
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I forgot that they try to make it that John Torres can pop up after 20 years and B'Elanna is unreasonable for not wanting to speak to him. Very soon after showing an episode wherein we are shown how much of a terrible parent and human being he is.
Like excuse you she doesn't have to want to see him, talk to him, or even fucking forgive him.
Your parents are supposed to help you, not hurt you. EVEN IF he had never left, it was very clear what he thought about her and her mother. And then he tried to gaslight her about it!
John Torres is terrible for leaving but would have been just as terrible staying. This is because he is a terrible person.
It's like the writers are so conflicted on how they want to handle B'Elanna's back story. First we see her getting more into Klingon culture and then suddenly she's back to hating that part of herself and almost makes a eugenic move on her unborn daughter. Every time B'Elanna has an opinion medically or emotionally, she's in the wrong no matter what it is and T*m P*ris is held up as being in the right thru the sheer reason of being a cishet white man. No matter what he is arguing for or against.
That isn't to say Miral Torres was a shining beacon of parenthood either. It's just that her motives were not racially motivated, they were motivated by her frustration that her child did not want to connect with their shared heritage and she was reminded of John every time she looked at B'Elanna. It was a traumatic experience for B'Elanna all the same, however.
This is one storyline I'm glad they didn't keep with after Author, Author cause it makes me see red just as much as Nothing Human.
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marvelouslizzie · 11 months
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Trust In What Tomorrow Brings - Co-written with @notafunkiller
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Summary: After your first date with Bucky Barnes, you two spend some time alone in your apartment. That's when you realize you actually want to keep him.
Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, second encounter, teasing, pet names, sir and sergeant kink, a tiny bit of mommy kink, mentions of past relationships, mentions of trauma, protected and unprotected sex, praising dirty talking mixture, dry humping, ripped clothing, face riding, blowjob, rough sex, multiple orgasms, light punishment, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 11.9K
A/N: This is technically a second chapter to You’re My Desire but you don't need to read the first chapter to understand what's going on since this is their second date. We actually planned it as a one-shot but somehow 40s Bucky and this universe didn't want us to be done. So here we are with a sequel. We kinda went overboard with it because we just want Bucky to have a little bit of a good time in the middle of the war.
Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's a great writer and a talented creator in general.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.
Read more tag starts after the fourth paragraph of the story.
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You may wanna read You're My Desire first
"This is absolutely crazy. They are all yours?" Bucky's fascinated smile is so cute that you smile, too.
“Oh yeah, I have been collecting books for a long time.”
"What's this?" He takes a book with a white cover that had no title or author written on it and analyzes it carefully.
“No, no, no.” You immediately try to take it back. “That’s not for your eyes, mister.”
"What?" Bucky snorts. "Is that your diary or what?"
“No, it’s not my diary.” You try to take the book back again, but you're not successful.
"Then why not?" He is even more curious now, turning his back a little to you to open it. "Even a dedication, huh? Is it from an old lover?" 
“No, it’s not. Come on, give it back.”
He sighs, not wanting to push you and hands you the book. "Okay, sorry."
You didn’t expect him to give up this easily. His consideration makes you wanna share a little bit more with him. So you open up a page and show him.
“This is why you aren’t supposed to see this.”
He was careful not to hurt her as he pushed her.
Her skin was so soft under his touch that nothing matters anymore.
"Oh god," Bucky covers his mouth. "Is the whole book like this, doll?"
“Pretty much.” You giggle a little, amused by his cute reaction.
"Wanna read it to me?" He winks.
“You can read it yourself if you wanna learn a thing or two.”
"Excuse you?" Bucky raises his eyebrow. "Are you questioning my skills now?"
You throw your head back, laughing, and Bucky crosses his arms with a frown as he watches you.
“I’m teasing you.”
"Sure." He puffs. He knows you have experience, but what if he doesn't keep up to your expectations?
“I’m really teasing you. Half of the things they do sound unrealistic.”
"Give me an example." His voice is somehow a little vulnerable.
You take a big breath, already regretting this. “Let’s see: having sex underwater like crazy. The girl is… wet for hours. They are going at it all night, and the guy comes several times in a row.”
Bucky snorts, coming closer to you. "Does he have the super super serum? Because that's not biologically possible."
“That’s exactly what I meant.“
"Yet you still read them. Who wrote this?"
“There aren’t many options when it comes to these kinds of books. The author is not written as you can see.” 
"How do you find them though?" He's genuinely curious.
“Mostly we borrow from each other. This one is my favorite so I bought a copy.”
"We? Who's we?"
“Girls. Exchanging books.”
Bucky's eyes glow all of a sudden. "Like a book club?"
“Yeah, like a book club.” You can’t help but smile at how excited he is.
"Oh god. Is it only for girls?" He tries to calm down a little, but this is so interesting he can't control himself. 
Your smile turns into a full laugh. “You wanna read erotic books with girls?”
Bucky groans embarrassed as he covers his face. "No, of course not. I was just wondering. I can read erotic books with my girl."
“Your girl?” You raise your right eyebrow playfully.
"Aren't you?" He drops the hand from his face to grab yours.
“It depends on you.” You really wanna kiss him, but you hold yourself back.
Bucky surprises you by grabbing your ass and pulling you into him. Your book falls on the floor, but neither of you cares as he kisses you gently. "Want to be my girl, doll?"
“Yes, yes.”
"Are you sure? I can't make love to you the whole night," Bucky says amused.
You laugh. “I don’t think I would survive that even if you could.”
He joins you in laughter. "I'd probably die mid-thrust."
“You know what, though?”
"What?"
“I didn’t think having sex against the wall was realistic. You know, carrying the other person the whole time while thrusting. I thought that no more than 2 or 3 minutes could be possible, but you proved me wrong.”
Bucky looks at her surprised. "Really?"
“Yeah, really. I still don’t know how you did that.”
"I just held you. I'm a soldier." He brushes it off. "Maybe your... friends need to exercise more."
“My friends?” You repeat in a joking manner.
"Special friends."
“I don’t have any special friends.”
"Doll," he groans. "You know what I mean."
“I know and I never had any special friends.”
Bucky sighs. "Your previous... partners."
“I just had one partner, and he wasn’t a special friend. He was my fiancé.”
"Oh?" He feels like a total fool for assuming that. The word engagement, though… That burns a hole in his stomach. "Your fiance? What happened?" 
“He got drafted, and then I found out he was cheating on me. So I broke off the engagement.”
Bucky can't believe it. How could he do that? "Wow, I'm sorry. I have no idea what to say. When did it happen?"
“Over a year ago.” You offer a little more information with a bitter smile. You're glad you found out then. It would have been a mess if you had gotten married before that. “It’s okay. You already said more than he ever did.”
"I..." Bucky takes a step back. You're probably still in pain. Maybe even in love or regretting what could have been. He doesn't know how to process this. "I'm sorry once again."
“It’s okay.” You shrug. “And look, I know what kind of impression I gave you on that first date. So if you don’t believe I only had one partner before, I understand it.”
"That's not... I frankly don't care how many partners you had. That is the last thing I'd ever care about. What we did was to follow our needs." He sighs. "But I want to know what you really want us to be. Because I am not sure I would be the right guy to mend your heart only."
He wants a whole lot more.
“I am not expecting you to mend my heart, Bucky.”
"You talked about pain," he says naively.
“Pain that happened in the past. I’m not in pain anymore.”
"Oh." He slaps his forehead. "I'm sorry. I misunderstood, I guess. I was surprised because we have a connection and I felt like you liked me back, so hearing that you suffer..." Bucky's eyes soften. "He's an idiot. He never deserved you. A coward and a horrible man. I am sorry you had to go through this."
You wrap your arms around his neck. “You think we have a connection, huh?” You ignore the rest. You don’t wanna think about the past anymore.
"I hope you feel it, too." He sounds so shy and vulnerable you can't help yourself but smile.
“You are in my apartment all alone. What do you think?”
"I think we should dance."
“Dance?” You are surprised by his sudden suggestion.
"Yes. I mean, I am not a great dancer, but I’m decent enough. Can we?"
“Yeah, of course. We should put some music on first.”
"You have a record player?! He doesn't even try to hide his shock and excitement anymore, so you grab him by his hand and drag him toward your record player. 
You watch him staring at the big pile of records on the table.
“I have my apartment now, so I can spend my money on books, records, and stuff to cook.”
"Can you adopt me?" He jokes, without taking his eyes off your record player. "Wanna be my mommy? You can be my special young mama."
“Oh?” You try really hard not to smile, a little confused. “How does that work?”
"How do you think it works?" He's not even trying to sound seductive, but he still does. You have to take a deep breath, trying to keep your excitement down.
“I really don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
"Hmm, maybe another time. How about we dance?"
“Okay,” you say and you start to go through your records until you find Frank Sinatra. You put the record on and manage to find There Are Such Things really quickly.
"I love this one! You have a treasure here, doll." You extend your hand out and wait for him to take it so you two can start dancing. "Wanna sway with me, ma'am?" He finally takes your hand and brings you closer.
“I would love that.”
You're not surprised he's a good dancer. You expected this to be honest. But his goofiness, his funny faces, the way his voice feels so pleasant as he sings the lyrics… You feel shy to sing along when he's such a good singer, so you only hum against his chest.
He is warm and strong under your touch. It makes you remember the time you were much closer than this. You wondered what got into you that day, why you acted the way you did. He’s just intoxicating, and you would totally do it all over again.
"What are you thinking about?” He looks at you. “You seem distracted. Wanna do something else?"
His voice takes you back to reality. You are ashamed to admit you were thinking about sex, so you snuggle against his chest.
“No. Let’s keep dancing.”
"Only if you tell me what got you so distracted." You feel his lips on your head as he speaks.
“Your touch.” You try to be honest but also not expose yourself completely.
"What about it? Already tired of it?" You know he does it intentionally. He's so easy to read at this point.
“Yeah, so tired of it, that’s why I wanna keep dancing.” You try to surpass the urge to smile.
Bucky snorts, unable to contain himself. "All types of dancing?"
“How many types of dancing do you know, Sergeant?”
"One that you know for sure, too. We practiced it before." The change of tone is so obvious, and his hands fully wrap around your hips, pushing you more against him. He's so hard.
You look up, not moving away from his chest when you realize you aren’t the only one thinking about sex just because you are dancing. It’s a relief.
“I thought we were doing a regular dance,” you say, but the smile on your lips is giving away your actual feelings about this situation.
"Isn't this regular?"
"If you want it to be."
"Sounds good to me."
"Where should we dance, though? Kitchen? Bedroom? Here? Bathroom?" You start to laugh. He’s such an idiot. "Floor?" He joins you and starts to laugh as well.
“Floor?” You frown. “I think we deserve a bed this time.”
"I was teasing you," He lifts your chin to kiss you properly. "Thought you liked it rough."
“It can be rough in bed.”
He groans at the thought of taking you hard in a soft bed. "I might break it, doll."
“I bet you could.”
"Is that a challenge?" You love the subtle tone in his voice.
“No, it’s a prediction.”
And just like that you finally realize the music has stopped, only the sound of the needle-moving breaking the silence.
"Should we, uhm, play another or…?" He asks curiously, letting you go.
“We can, but I am a little hungry. We can listen while eating, and you can choose the time. How does that sound?”
Bucky's eyes widen. "That's perfect."
*
"I love this. Where did you get it from?" He's playing with the bracelet you're wearing as he eats another strawberry, laying on the couch next to you. It feels so natural, like you did this a million times before, yet still exciting.
“Oh, this?” You move your arm a little, but not away from him. “It belonged to my grandmother.”
"It's so beautiful, a perfect fit for you."
“She told me my grandfather gifted this when they got engaged.”
"Rich." He can't help himself but comment. "Sorry, I mean it's really beautiful, but also kind of expensive. He must have loved her very much." Then he places a small kiss on your wrist, right below your bracelet. 
You laugh a little. “How do you think I could afford all this stuff?”
Bucky clears his throat, nervous. "You have a point, I just don't think about money. I don't come from a rich family."
“If you were, you wouldn’t be fighting in this war.” Your tone is suddenly more serious than you intended.
"So you don't mind going out with a nobody?" He sighs, just as serious.
“You are not nobody. Not to me!” You caress his cheek. “You are James Bucky Barnes.”
He melts under your touch immediately. He doesn't remember the last time he felt this type of warmth.
"You're so sweet."
“Wait. Does this mean…” You aren’t sure how to ask, but his comments about being rich remind you of the conversation you had not long ago. “The adopting or mommy thing you said. Does it mean this?”
He laughs so hard you can't believe it. Did you misunderstand? Is it not what it really means?
"I don't know, mama. What do you think that means?"
“Oh, come on! I have no idea and you know it!”
"I think you do."
“Nope. Not at all. Maybe you just want kids. That would make me a mama, right?”
"Hmm." Suddenly he’s distracted by that idea. He's simply too busy imagining his come dripping out of you to give you a proper answer, making you even more curious. 
“You are such a tease,” you grumble.
"What does that mean?"
“What do you think that means?” You mimic his question.
Bucky taps his thigh and smiles. "Come here. You can ask me anything." You look at his thighs and then back into his eyes, biting your lip. That offer is so appealing. "I thought you trusted my strength."
“Oh, I do.” You move a bit closer, but not on his lap. “I am just not trusting myself.”
He gasps, bringing you closer himself. "Fuck, why?"
“You know the answer to this one.” You remark cheekly.
"No, I really don't."
“You are lying, mister. You know what I mean when I say I don’t trust myself.” You move your legs, trying to find a comfortable position.
"I don't know exactly what you mean."
“You might find out later then.”
He groans, moving his hands to your breasts, unsure. "I wanna know now."
“I'll tell you only if you promise me that you'll explain the mom thing.” You like how distracted he looks, so you keep leaning in.
"You're a mommy right now."
“And what does that actually mean?”
He's too focused on your breasts to even hear you. "Fuck, look at those hard little things." He can't help but pinch one of your nipples.
“Bucky!”
"So squishy." He's so fascinated as he squeezes the other breast eagerly. He's like a distracted child.
You move a little bit back, so he can’t touch them. "No!" He immediately complains, reaching out to touch them again. "How dare you!"
“No answer, no touching.”
He lifts his head and gives you the most betrayed look you've ever seen. His eyes are almost glossy. "You can't take them away."
“I can actually.” You move a little bit more. “See? They come wherever I go.”
Bucky gasps, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer. "Don't you dare!"
“You are so dramatic.” You laugh while hugging him back.
"I am not." He pouts, burying his face into your boobs again. 
“You are.” You move your hips just a little while still hugging him.
"What are you doing?"
“Nothing.”
"Nothing?" He moves his hips, too.
You make a sound you don’t expect but try to act like it didn’t happen. “Yeah, nothing.”
"Fuck me," he whispers to himself before taking your nipple in his mouth through the blouse. He wants to make you moan like that again. He needs to.
“Jesus, Bucky!”
"I'm your Jesus now?" He asks teasingly, switching to the other nipple.
“You can be my God if you keep doing that.” Shit, where did this response come from? He brings out a part of you that you didn’t know it even existed.
"You can't say this." He cries out unexpectedly, still licking you through your blouse. "You can't."
“Why?” It comes out like a whine.
"It's too much."
“You are too much.”
His hands grab the edge of your blouse without warning, but before he can rip it off, you slap his arms. 
“You can just take things off without ripping them, you know?” You take the top off yourself, showing him how it’s done. “See, it’s not that hard.”
He ignores your comment and doesn't even warn you before grabbing your boobs and squeezing them together. "Missed you." Then he brings his head right between them, snuggling. You can’t help but laugh. "What's so funny?"
“You are. Look at you.”
"Can't look at me. I'm looking at something better." He licks the valley between your breasts without letting them go, and you curse under your breath. "Gonna take them away from me again?" He lets his tongue get to your right breast, and you feel his teeth dangerously close to your nipple now, making you moan.
“I think I should shut my mouth. I’m boosting your ego way too much.” You play because he’s boosting your ego, too. 
"You can shut my mouth, baby. Anytime."
“Shut your mouth how?” You bring your hands over his mouth. “Like this?”
He bites your fingers in response. "Nope. Try again."
You move your hand to his neck and put a little pressure. “Maybe like this?”
He lets out the lowest moan you've ever heard from his mouth, closing his eyes. "Oh."
“Am I getting closer?” You ask. His eyes are so dark when he opens them, you're shocked. “Or did you mean something else?” You whisper right into his ear.
"Ihm. I did, can you guess?" He tries to distract himself before he can think about how much he enjoyed your grip on his neck. 
“I’m out of ideas,” you say, making him drop his hand to your skirt. His fingers are playing with the edge of it. You can feel the implication of him wanting to take your skirt off. “You want me to… Shut you up with… Like that?”
"Imagine it." He closes his eyes, palming you over your underwear. "You'd be able to control the movements more." 
“Did you… try this before? I don’t wanna hurt you.”
"You think you can hurt me?" He sounds so offended. "Oh, hell no. We should do this right now and I'll show you."
“Of course, I can hurt you. I could crush you!”
He looks at you amused. "Can't wait. Now come here and don't you dare hold back or you'll get a punishment. Got it?"
“Punishment?” Your eyes widen upon hearing that word. You aren’t sure if it’s scary or exciting. Could be both.
"I don't mean hurting you." He realizes immediately how this sounded. "I mean... spanking lightly."
“Oh, that kind of punishment.” You get a bit more relaxed, but your heart is beating fast. You move yourself where he wants you, but it feels so wrong. “I am afraid I might suffocate you.”
Bucky wants to protest immediately, but he stops himself. He knows you only need reassurance.
"How about we have a sign? If I tap three times on the couch, we stop. How about that?"
“Tap on me. Doesn’t matter where. Just on me, so I can feel it immediately.”
He nods, all melted. "Okay, now please don't hover." He gently orders.
“Tell me if I do anything wrong.” 
You lower yourself on his face while trying to gather your skirt up for him.
"Can I rip it off or not?"
“You can. I knew you were gonna ask that, so I wore something I don’t like much.”
"Skirt too?" 
“No. Not the skirt because I can take it off easily.” You unzip the skirt and take it off your head. “See?”
"Shame..," he says disappointed before finally ripping your underwear off with only one hand. "Finally!"
“You are a savage, Sergeant Barnes.”
"And I think you love that."
“Very much.” You lower yourself on his face, practically shutting him up like he wanted. He doesn't disappoint as he moans against you, making sure you're not hovering before pushing his tongue inside you. “Oh my god!” You yelp when you feel his warm tongue for the first time.
He can't answer as he's too busy eating you, but you feel his hands squeezing your skin harder. You spread your legs even further to feel his tongue better. It feels so good that you have a hard time keeping your voice down.
"Good girl." His praise goes directly to your core, and you curse under your breath, thinking you won’t last long. He can't help himself but bring one of his hands to your clit, hesitating.
“Just your tongue.” You request while moaning, and he agrees wordlessly.
You start to move your hips back and forth, trying not to go overboard and Bucky seems to love it, groaning louder against you, moving his tongue. As it gets more delightful, you have a hard time balancing yourself, so you grab onto his hair with one hand.
"Fuck!" He takes his mouth off just to curse. "Pull as hard as you want."
You pull his hair a little bit more before he puts his mouth back on you, just to see his reaction.
"Jesus, I'm..." he's so hard and excited that he's already started to leak. "I'm gonna make a mess on your couch."
“I’m already making a mess on my couch.” You are dripping wet, and he’s worried about making the mess. He’s so cute, especially when he’s laying down to please you like this.
"Keep bouncing, baby," he demands, then in no time, his tongue is flat, ready to be used by you, and you don’t hesitate.
You hold onto his hair with your right hand as you ride his tongue. You don't even realize how hard you pull until you hear his moans, encouraging you to keep going. He's clearly not suffocating, and you don’t realize how fast you are moving your hips, either. Not until you explode on his face, moaning mindlessly while trying to keep your shaking legs moving until you are done coming.
What surprises you the whole time is how he doesn't stop using his tongue until you finish, trying to hold you in place so he can give you more pleasure. You move yourself back a little after you are done, sitting on his chest and trying to catch your breath. You feel like a mess. 
"How was it?" He doesn't move as he asks you that, only wiping his face with the back of his left hand.
“Earth-shattering. Wow.”
He snorts before licking his fingers right under your eyes. "Gonna listen to me next time?"
“Yes, sir,” you jokingly say, feeling boneless but still needing more.
"No." His answer comes more like a groan than an affirmation. "You can't… call me sir."
“Why not, sir?”
"God, it sounds so... great." He doesn't know what else to say, covering his face shily.
“Did I just discover something about you or did you already know this?” You finally move away from his chest, leaning down to kiss him.
"It's something new."
“What about Sargeant? That you must have known.” You move your lips to his cheek, just making them brush his skin.
"Come on. Kiss me." He complains.
“Ask nicely.”
"Please?"
You finally kiss him on the cheek. "You are so pretty when you beg." Then you move your lips to his jaw and neck.
"You are even prettier when you listen." 
"Am I? What if I don't listen?"
He brings his hand to your neck. "You're a bad, bad girl. And bad girls get punished." He smiles.
"I never got punished in bed before."
He smiles. "What would you want to try? Spanking as I suggested before?"
"You are giving the orders, remember? Not me."
Bucky raises his eyebrow. "You mean you pretend I'm giving the orders."
"Maybe I want you to give the orders, not just pretend." He squeezes the sides of the neck.
"You can try whatever you wanna try. You can give orders, just stop whenever I say stop."
"Deal.”
*
It feels strange to have him in your bedroom, truth be told. Especially watching him getting rid of his underwear and socks this close to you. His hair bounces with every move, so you can't help but giggle. And he looks so good. Really good, especially under proper lighting.
It’s not the first time you are seeing him half-naked, but you definitely didn’t get a good look while having a quickie in a dark alley. His body looks toned, strong, and capable. You are dying to feel his touch, but you stand still, waiting for him to come to you.
"How many taps when you want me to stop?"
“Three.”
"Good." He smiles assuringly before slowly spreading your legs further. "You're so cute waiting for me."
“Just cute?”
He shakes his head, finally positioning himself at your entrance. His eyes are stuck on you: your hair, face, neck, chest. "You're sweet too," he teases, pushing inside you.
“Fuck.” You moan silently. It feels so good to feel him inside you again. “Sweet? Anything else?” You voice comes out so breathy.
"Smart. Nerdy." He leans in, putting more of his weight onto his elbows. "Beautiful. Brave. Loud and adorable."
“Brave?” You look confused while biting your bottom lip, trying not to make a loud sound.
"Aren't you?" He smiles, starting to thrust a little faster, but not enough to make it impossible to speak. At least for now. "Brave to move on from a failed engagement. Brave to live with your friend here. Brave to accept our date. Brave to test me." His laugh is so contagious.
You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. “You think I tested you?” Your lips are inches away from his.
"I know you did." He kisses you, not waiting for you to do it as he lifts one of your legs on his shoulder. "At the fair." He sounds out of breath this time, his thrusts hitting a little deeper.
You wanna say you didn’t, that it wasn’t a test. It is something that happened, and you don’t regret it, but instead, a loud moan escapes your mouth. The angle change fills you with a different kind of pleasure. 
"What a responsive doll you are." He smiles against your neck. "So perfect for me." You pull your legs, spreading your legs even further to give him more space to move. It makes his thrusts feel even better somehow. "Jesus, this is..." He's trying to find the perfect words to describe how he feels, but there are none. "Heaven."
“Oh, god!” It’s hard to keep your voice down when he latches onto the closest nipple, Whatever he’s doing with that tongue, it helps you to feel better down there. It’s driving you closer to your release.
"I'm your god now?" He jokes, stopping the sucking for a few seconds just to tease you.
“Yes! Yes, you are. Keep doing that and I will worship you later.”
He doesn't just continue lick and suck on your breast, he also starts thrusting deeper than before. The sound of the bed moving is even more obvious now. There is no way your neighbors don't know what is happening. 
“Shit!” It’s so hard not to curse when he’s pounding like that, hitting all the right spots. “I’m so close,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down. “Just keep going, don’t change anything.” 
"Just like this?" He asks, keeping the same pace as you asked. "Are you going to be good and enjoy yourself?"
“You have no idea…” You try to collect yourself to form a sentence. “How good I feel right now.”
"I do," he says breathlessly before letting his teeth and tongue mark your neck. The pain you feel somehow enhances the pleasure, and you suddenly find yourself throwing your head back, shutting your eyes, and moaning his name over and over again. You’re coming so hard. "I feel like... Doll, please, say my name again."
“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.” It’s all you wanna say anyway. “Please, don’t stop. Please!” You have no idea why you’re begging. You know he won’t stop, yet you still wanna do it. You still wanna beg him not to stop. It feels that good, that precious.
"Never." He manages to answer you between moans. "I'd rather die."
“Oh god, I think I…” Pleasure keeps hitting you in waves. “I might be dying myself.” You never had an orgasm this long. Your whole body is tensed up. You can actually hear your ears ringing.
"Gonna come for you, pretty doll." He bites your neck on another spot.
“Please, please.” It’s like you forgot all the other words. You watch him through a haze how he reaches his orgasm, saying your name like a whisper as he suddenly stays still inside you.
After he finishes, you close the distance and give him a big kiss. Sloppy and loving. It feels like you are thanking him for all the pleasure he’s just given you.
"Hi." He smiles. "Are you good?"
“God! I feel like I am still on the clouds.” You caress his face, carefully admiring his features. “What about you?”
He smiles. "I'm in heaven."
“Does it always feel this good?” The words come out of your mouth unintentionally. You really didn’t mean to ask that out loud. It was just a thought. “I mean, I don’t know what you are doing different to make it feel so good. I didn’t experience this before.” You keep rambling, trying to explain yourself. “So I wonder if it is supposed to feel this good all the time. But I’m not trying to question your past or anything. Don’t get me wrong.” You would keep talking if he didn’t cut you off.
"Breathe, baby. No, it doesn't feel like this with everyone else because you don't always have a connection. I am so glad to hear I made you happy." He smiles like a fool.
You cover your face with your hands. “I shouldn’t have asked that, I am sorry. It feels like it’s something you keep to yourself.” 
"What? No. Ask me and I'll answer."
You finally take your hands off your face.
“Okay. I have another question then.” He’s still inside you. and you can feel him getting hard again. “Is it normal that you are already getting hard inside me this quickly?”
He groans. "Told you, you felt amazing."
“That’s not my question, though. Is this normal for you? You always get hard this quickly after coming?” You insist because you wanna know. You have a feeling there’s something different about him, and you wanna prove it to him. 
He has no idea about your intention, though. He’s worried that he’s hurting you, so in a few seconds, he quickly gets out of you. 
"Sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." He raises from the bed, taking off the used condom as he walks to the nightstand. "And yes, I do become hard like this. Why?"
“You didn’t hurt me.” You want to quickly clear that up. “And you know it takes at least half an hour for other men, right? That’s not… how it normally works.”
Bucky laughs. "They haven't met you."
“I’m talking from experience this time. In this case, they met me. This has nothing to do with me.”
He rolls the second condom on as he speaks. "Maybe I'm a lucky man."
“Okay, you are ignoring too many signs. I have to prove it to you. Bring me that small mirror.” 
Bucky starts laughing, but he does what you ask him to, then coming back.. "What are you gonna do, huh?"
You sit on his lap, and just like that he’s back inside you.
“Welcome back.” You joke with a smile. “Now gimme the mirror.” He hands it over, and without explaining anything, you lean down, gently licking and sucking on a certain spot. 
Bucky tries desperately not to thrust his hips. After a while, you start to bite his neckless gently, which makes you feel a little guilty.
He doesn't seem to mind though. Quite the contrary. "You can bite harder.”
“Hmm…” If he doesn’t mind, you don’t mind biting harder either. So you do it again, dragging the skin with your teeth. “God, you’re so delicious.”
His hands find their way to your breasts, making sure not to grab them too hard. You bite the same spot again, fand a red spot is already forming.
"Little artist," he says when you reach for the mirror, turning it to him so he can see his neck. It’s clearly dark red. "See? You gave me a hickey. Congrats, baby." He smiles proudly and kisses your cheek.
“Let’s see how long it will take you to heal.”
Bucky rolls his eyes. "I just have a ticker skin, baby. Now come on, please, do something. Why are you torturing me?"
“I’m a small, adorable girl. I don’t know how I am supposed to move.” You are fully lying, and he knows it. So he decides to play your game.
"Bounce a little. Up and down."
You act like you are trying and failing. “Like this?”
Bucky shakes his head. "Try again. Change the angle a bit."
“Oh, come on, Bucky.” You whine. You love and hate how he quickly catches up to whatever you try to do.
"You should be a good little girl and try it yourself."
“Fine.” You frown and start moving for real this time, and he immediately wraps his arms properly around your waist.
"What's wrong?" 
“I was teasing you, so you would get tired of it and take control.”
He smiles. "I know."
In response, you punch him in his shoulder. “Then why didn’t you?”
"Why would I give you what you want now?" His voice drops lower. "Wanna push your limits."
“My limits?” You repeat as he brushes your nipples. “You wanna torture me? Make me desperate? Is that what it is?”
Bucky smiles, getting his lips close to yours again, but before he can kiss you, he takes you by the back of the head and moves you. You whine when he gets out of you.
“Bucky! What the fuck?”
"I need you to trust me, okay?" He tries to help get on all fours as he speaks. You nod in agreement. "Need your ass a little higher."
“My ass?” You sound a little afraid. You are definitely not ready for that if that’s his intention.
"Yes." He doesn't notice the change in your tone right away. "Promise I don't- oh, I don't plan on doing anything like that I promise. Just trust me."
You take a deep breath of relief. “Okay.”
"Put your weight on your elbows, okay?" You do as he asks. You switch the weight, putting your head down while your ass goes higher. "Do you feel comfortable?" 
“It’s a little weird, but not uncomfortable.”
"Ready?"
“Yes!” You sound impatient, and he quickly pushes inside you. Not too much, afraid he might hurt you in any way.  It must feel way deeper like this, and he doesn't want to risk it.
"God," he finds himself moaning. "You feel so good." You can’t respond to him though. All you can do is just moan. It feels incredible. "All good?"
“Yeah.” Your voice feels a little different. Raspy. “You can move.”
Bucky lets out a deep breath before finally trying out a few slow thrusts. "How does it feel?"
“Good. Really good.” It’s like your vocabulary disappears when you two have sex. It’s hard to form sentences or express yourself.
"How about this?" He asks while moving much faster. It's something about this angle that gives him more room to use his strength.
“Jesus Christ!” You mumble. How can it feel this good?
"I don't think I can last as long as before." He groans as he watches you shiver under him. The way you sound like this, your position, the way you feel... He's on another planet.
“I don’t think you have to.” It’s unbelievable how close you are. It’s normally not that easy for you, but things are different when you are with him.
He keeps the same pace, focusing on your moans and the sound of your skin slapping. His mouth somehow manages to find your shoulder and he licks the same spot for a few seconds, making you shiver. "So sweet for me."
Even though you love how he is licking and talking into you ear, him leaning in changes the angle and the pace. It’s not as rough as it was before, and you find yourself moving your hips back, trying to get more friction.
"Look at that." He smiles against your shoulder, sounding fascinated. "Someone is unhappy with my services."
“Not unhappy.” You definitely aren’t. “It’s just… my hips don’t listen to me anymore.”
"Oh, no," Bucky comments amused before getting back to his initial position. "Your poor hips."
You know he isn’t mocking you for real but something about it irritates you. So you stop moving your hips. “Better?”
He lifts his eyebrow even though he knows you can't see him. "Hmm." You suddenly feel a slap on your ass. You make a sound that can only be described as a half moan half yelp.
"What was that?" Another spank follows. This time you’re moaning when the burning feeling spreads on your ass cheek completely. You feel the urge to move your hips again, but you refrain yourself.
"Look at you, bratty little cat. You're getting wetter because of this." He's so excited as he rubs your cheeks with both of his hands, but you can do this later. He's too close. You are, too. And just like that, he's back to fucking you. He doesn't go back to his gentle rhythm. Surprisingly, his thrusts are deep and fast.
“Oh my god!” The rhytm is finally the way you wanted it again. Instinctively, you lean in a bit more, and your head gets buried in the bed while your ass is a little higher than before.
"Jesus, doll." He cries out, feeling so overwhelmed. "I'm so close. So... so close."
Your hand moves to your clit, touching yourself just the way you like it, even though it feels so hard to do while he’s pounding you. That’s all you need to finally reach the climax. You're not quiet at all despite your failed attempt to muffle your moans with your pillow. And Bucky feels like that's it. He doesn't even manage to warn you that he’s following you and coming hard. He softly moans your name after he finishes, falling onto your back just to feel your skin.
His hands wrap around your body and you let yourself fall with him. The indescribable pleasure you felt is still running through your whole body.
"Wow!"
You laugh a little, trying to turn your head. You wanna see him, kiss him, and maybe tease him a little, but he's already prepping kisses all over your neck, then your back. 
“You are crushing me,” you say jokingly but it’s half true.
"Oh, sorry." He immediately gets off you, throwing himself on the bed completely.
“Don’t go that far away though.” You exaggerate a little, opening your arms. You want him as close as possible.
Bucky doesn't hesitate to use this as an opportunity to bury his head into your boobs. "Hmm, perfect. I’m in heaven with you and these babies." He kisses both of your breasts to emphasize what he means.
You can’t help but snort. “Babies?”
"Yes, my babies. My dolls."
“I thought they were mine.”
Bucky puffs before snuggling even more. "Only mine."
“And I have no say in this?” You joke again, and he shakes his head.  “Does it mean this…” You grab his dick gently. It’s soft and the condom is dangling. “...is mine?”
His whine is so loud, making you giggle. "Of course it's yours."
“Oh, I love this deal.” You use your thumb and index finger to take the condom off.
"Fuck." He closes his eyes.
“Sensitive?”
"A little."
“That’s okay.” You give him a little kiss on the head, then move a little so you can tie the condom up. That makes you see the hickey on his neck again, which is almost gone. You put the condom away and reach for the mirror you used before.
"What?"
“Remember the lovely hickey I gave you?” Bucky nods. “Wanna see it now?” You lift the mirror so he can take a look. He expected to see only a faded pink mark, but instead the skin is intact as if you never bit him. 
"How!?"
“That’s my question exactly.”
"What the fuck is going on?" His hand goes to the place your mark used to be and there's no trace of any teeth. "Holy cow."
“I think you are healing faster than any of us.” You stop for a second. “Like Steve.”
Bucky's eyes immediately find yours. "You don't mean..."
“I don’t know what I mean, to be honest, because I don’t know any details. Like… Did you participate in whatever they did to him? Or maybe it’s something transmittable, I don’t know.”
You see him going pale all of the sudden, and your heart drops. He seems to know what caused this.
"They must have done something to me when I was captured. But I didn't change like he did." He looks so confused, like he’s trying to put the puzzle pieces together. "I'm not like Steve."
“You were captured?!” That’s all you focus on. You have to know.
"I was." He sighs, placing the mirror on the floor before pulling you onto his lap. "By Hydra. Long story short, my unit and I were sent at some point at a weapon facility in Europe. In Austria... We were forced to work on an advanced bomber plane. I have no idea what happened to that, but I was so..." Bucky closes his eyes. "I was starving, losing weight every day. I was so weak I couldn't continue, so they did something else."
“Dear God.” You are completely shocked. “Are you okay?”
"I was basically a test subject for a crazy doctor. I thought they just tested different things for a death serum. But now I am not sure at all." He's so lost in his memories now. He is clearly not like Steve, but it's so weird how his health reports were fine. He shakes his head, not wanting to think about it any longer. "I'm more than well when I'm with you." He finally answers your question.
“I’m glad you are here with me.” You give him a full kiss, thinking about all the possibilities, everything that could’ve happened before you two had the chance to meet. You wouldn’t even know who he is and that somehow hurts more.
"You're so precious." He hugs you so tightly you feel like you're about to cry.
You try not the think about how he could’ve been still a captive. You can’t imagine how horrible that experience must be, but you don’t wanna cry. Not when he’s in your arms like this. 
“Wanna test out how super you are?” You suggests instead. A change of subject can help you both.
"Want me to cook for you? Going to prove to you I am marriage material after all." He smiles.
Your eyes widen with surprise. “Marriage?” That definitely wasn’t what you were expecting him to say.
"Don't mind me, doll. What did you have in mind?"
“No, no, no. You can’t say that and leave it at that.”
Bucky strokes your hair. "What else can I say? I'm embarrassing myself."
“Embarrassing yourself? Nope, you aren’t.” You shake your head. “You are giving me hope but don’t do it if you don’t mean it, okay?”
"Of course I mean it," he immediately says, not letting you doubt even for a second. "But I thought... it is a bit early. I didn't want to be overbearing."
“It’s not. I know we don’t know each other that well yet and we might change our minds later. I’m not taking this as a promise or anything.”
"Well," he raises your hand and brings it to his mouth just to place a soft kiss on it. "I would be lucky if you wanted me after all of this." You give him a confused look, and he clarifies: "This whole weird healing thing and my sad story." He snorts, belittling himself. You are not having any of this though.
“I think it’s…” You try to find the right words. “really hot, and I really wanna test your limits because I think your healing applies to your… recovery, too. Remember how quickly you got hard again?”
Bucky laughs. "So it's all about this, huh?"
“What? Don’t you wanna find out if I am right?”
"I don't have another condom, love." He sighs.
“I mean we did it without a condom before.” It’s the truth, but it feels so weird to ask for more after having great sex. You should be content with it, but no, your body craves more.
Bucky kisses your shoulder again. 
"I know, but we risked it. I don't want to make you take a risk. Even if I don't spill inside you..." You don’t like the fact that he’s right. What you don’t realize is that your face is showing what you are thinking. "I can use my tongue if you want." He smiles, trying to find another solution.
“The point is testing your limits, Sergeant.”
"My limits of my tongue count." He kisses you for a few seconds.
“You are so annoying, rejecting my offer, Sargaent.”
Bucky gasps. "I did not! I just tried to look out for you."
“It’s okay.” You make a move to get up. “Let’s get cleaned up.”
He grabs you by your wrist. "Don't do this to me." 
“I’m just listening to what you are saying.”
He frowns. "Then why do I feel like the bad guy?"
“Because you rejected this…” You show yourself. “A pretty girl’s offer for more sex.
"My pretty girl wants sex even without protection?"
“She does.” You purse your lips, feeling a bit vulnerable and trying to cover it.
"Then…" He pulls you closer and kisses you gently, holding your face with both of his hands.
“You love torturing me,” you say between kisses.
"Not as much as you do." 
"Wanna do the honors or should I?" He grabs his cock with a hand, waiting for you to move or just say something.
“Oh, be my guest. Do whatever you wanna do. Just pull out in time.”
"Promise." He kisses you before getting inside you in one swift motion.
*
There are no words to describe how tired you feel. Exhausted comes close, but it doesn’t cover the pleasure you are still feeling despite your jelly legs. You aren’t sure if you made the best or the worst decision of your life when you suggested testing his limits because you lost the count of the orgasms you had. You are ruined. Simply ruined by him. No man will ever compare.
"Did I pass?" Bucky asks breathlessly, holding you against his chest. “Am I husband material?"
You can’t believe he is still wondering that. This wasn’t meant to be a husband material test, but you gotta admit that he passed with flying colors. 
“You know we weren’t testing that, right?”
"Such a loss." He plays amused. "What did we test then?"
“How quickly your body can recover, and now we can safely say that you are not a regular guy.”
Bucky sighs. "Then what am I?"
“You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” You run your hand on his cheek, gently caressing it before giving him a big kiss. You wonder why he wants to be a regular guy. He’s perfect the way he is.
Bucky immediately melts under you. "That's not nice. You read my thoughts and use them against me," he explains more emotionally than before.
“Maybe we are just sharing the same thoughts and feelings.”
"We are a perfect match."
“It seems so.” You quickly agree. “And you are perfect the way you are. I get that you don’t know what exactly this is but it seems cool so far.” You try to put his mind at ease. “And no one knows about it. You don’t have to be like Steve, you can keep being yourself.”
"You're so sweet." He leaves a soft kiss on your hair.
“I’m not usually sweet. Maybe it’s the afterglow talking.” You joke to lighten the mood.
He snorts. "You're the sweetest person I've ever met."
“Now that’s a lie.” You keep the same tone.
"If that's a lie, I am a normal guy."
“That’s even a bigger lie. You are nowhere close to being a normal guy. Normal guys suck.”
Bucky's fingers travel to your belly. "Is that so?"
“No, no, no.” You try to avoid getting tickled. “Bucky, please.”
"Say you're the sweetest girl in the world, and I might show you some mercy."
“Fine, fine, fine.” You accept the defeat. “I’m the sweetest girl in the world. Okay?”
"I can't hear you." He tickles you harder. 
“BUCKY!” You protest, but he doesn’t stop. “I’M THE SWEETEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.”
"Good." He finally lets go, grabbing your face just to give you the sloppiest kiss you've ever shared. “Now close your eyes. You need to sleep."
You wanna be mad at him for tickling you hard, but you can’t.
“Oh, I gotta clean myself a little first.”
“Let me help you. Where do you keep your towels?" 
You already thought he was perfect, but he’s showing you he’s even better than you thought. How is he real? How did you get this lucky? You don’t know. 
“Just sit down, baby. I can handle those.”
"Let's make a deal: I change the sheets while you clean if you want." You wanna say no and you can handle those. but you are so tired. 
“Sounds like a good plan.” You can’t deny that it’s efficient, and you wanna see if he can do it right. This is the real marriage material test, but he won’t know until you see the results. You hand him the new sheets and leave him to work, so you can clean yourself pretty quickly. 
You really made a big mess. Cleaning takes longer than you expected, but when you come back, you find a freshly made bed.
"Ready for bed now?"
“Yeah.” You inspect the sheets. He made the bed perfectly. “Unbelievable.” You didn’t mean to say that out loud, but it came out anyway. “Perfectly made. I think I will have to marry you, Sergeant Barnes.”
He smiles widely. "So I passed my test?"
“Yep.” You move onto the bed. “If you can cook as well, I won’t ever let you go. Say goodbye to your bachelor days.”
Bucky pulls you to him. "Goodbye, bachelor days."
You laugh while kissing him.  
“Let’s sleep.” You snuggle closer while he yawns.
*
You have been awake for a couple of minutes, just trying to fully wake up and freely watch Bucky sleeping. He looks so pretty and innocent.
Long lashes, kissable lips, big arms. God, why does he have to be this pretty?
You lean in, with the intention to give him a kiss like a normal person, but god, those arms look so biteable. Before you can change your mind, you bite his arm and watch him slowly wake up. Then you start giving him small kisses: on his arm, on his cheeks, and finally when he opens his eyes, on his lips.
"Good morning." He gives you an innocent look. 
“Good morning, handsome.” You kiss his cheek again.
"Handsome?" His voice is so raspy in the morning.
“Yeah, handsome. Very very handsome.”
He smiles when you snuggle closer to him. "So sweet. I have a question. Do you have a toothbrush for me?" His eyes are semi-closed as he asks.
“Oh, sure. I can find one.”
"I didn't realize I will stay over. I'm sorry for wasting one of yours."
“Oh, shut up.” You push him a little playfully. “You can waste anything you want.”
You come closer to give him a kiss. You don’t care about the toothbrush or anything else. You are just enjoying being in bed with him.
"My breath smells really bad." He shakes his head, embarrassed. You shrug and give him a kiss anyway. You are sure your breath doesn’t smell good either, but that doesn’t stop you. "Such a stubborn lady."
“I just don’t care, and for your information, it doesn’t smell bad.” You keep kissing him.
"If you continue, doll, we might end up doing something else." 
“Hmm.” You act like you don’t know what that means.
“Hmm?”
“Yeah, hmm.”
"What can it mean?"
“No idea.” You don’t move away, you don’t kiss him. You just look at him.
"Okay then." He gives you an innocent look. "Time for me to go to the bathroom."
You kiss his cheek, giving him space to get up. He pouts a bit disappointed but doesn't say anything.
“What?”
"Nothing. So where do I find a toothbrush?" He finally gets up.
“I will show you.” You follow him to the bathroom.
"Also, do you have any allergies?”
His question catches you off guard. “Not that I know off. Why?”
"Gonna cook something for you."
“You really want that ring, don’t you?” You joke with a big smile on your face.
His laugh fills the bathroom. "You want to give me a ring?"
“How else am I gonna make sure others know you are taken?” 
"You don't need a ring for that. At all."
“Yeah, you are right. I was just joking.” 
He smiles. "Wait for me in the bed. Whatever happens, you stay there, okay?"
“Okay.” You raise your hands in defeat.
"Good girl, go now." He pats your ass before letting you go.
You can’t help but smile on your way back to the bed. If this is how being married to Bucky is gonna be, you are down for it.
*
"Come on, another bite. Please."
“Fine.” You take another bite. It’s delicious but you are full. So full. The breakfast he made was simply amazing. You might really need to find a ring to put on him, because he’s definitely husband material.
"Good girl, and drink more water."
“I’m so full,” you say after taking a sip. “The food was just amazing.”
"You're full, huh?" He snorts.
“I am.” You give him a look, not understanding what he means.
"I think you can take more."
“No more food, please.”
"Oh, sweetheart." Bucky gives you a smirk. "That is not what I meant."
“Oh!” You finally get it and start to giggle wile takes a bite of pancakes from your plate.
"Oh, indeed."
“You wanna?”
"Do you?" He stares back.
“You are so annoying.” 
"Annoying enough to get you to kiss me?"
You give him a short kiss. “Thanks for the breakfast.”
"I didn't have mine, though."
“You can eat this.” You offer your leftovers. You’re sure that they’re more than enough to make him feel full, too.
"But I don't want that.” He whines. "I want you."
“You can have me.”
"Want you on my face."
“Again?” You sound surprised. “I thought you would want something that you would enjoy as well.”
"Excuse you? I enjoy that." His tone shows that he’s totally offended.
“Oh, you do?”
Bucky laughs so loud. "I cannot believe it wasn't clear."
“I mean… I’m not used to that. Maybe that’s why.”
"The question is if you’d like to do that again."
“Oh, yeah.” You nod eagerly. “I would love that.”
"Then…" He places the food carefully on the table next to the bed.
You bite your lip while getting up and taking your underwear off. He watches you excited as he gets on his back completely, waiting. This time you know what to do. So you get back to the bed and straddle his face.
"Use me however you want, okay? Don't stop."
“Tap on my thighs if you want me to stop, okay?” He nods and you lower yourself completely. He doesn’t even wait for a few seconds. “Jesus, Bucky.” You breath out. It’s hard not to make a sound when he works that enthusiastically. He doesn't say anything in return, too focused on spreading your lips with his tongue. You moan loudly and start to ride his face, and you realize shortly he loves it as his hands help you quicken your pace just the way you like it.
“Oh, god…” You try to get support from the headboard. “This feels so good.”
He groans against you, so hard, thrusting his hips in the air because you taste amazing.
You start to move a little faster as you feel like you are getting closer to your release. His nose starts to bump up against your clit from time to time and that adds an another level of pleasure.
"Keep going," he says breathlessly before taking you by surprise and slapping your ass twice.
“Fuuck. I’m- I’m so close.”
"Hmm." He slaps your right ass cheek one more time as his tongue moves to your clit. The sounds you are making don’t sound human anymore. You are aware of it, but it’s so hard to care when you start to come so hard on his tongue. He doesn't let go or stop licking you until he feels you are done, then he gently helps you move.
"Hi."
“Ahh.” You struggle to find your voice. “Hi.”
He giggles while cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand. "Feel good?"
“God, I’m keeping you. That’s it. That was my last drop.”
Bucky moans excited. "Are you proposing to me, love?"
“Well, not like this, and I gotta buy a ring first,” you jokingly answer.
"Hmm." He brings you close to his face so he can kiss you. "Maybe I will accept."
“Maybe? What can I do to guarantee a yes?”
Bucky smiles. "Who knows?"
“Maybe I should return the favor.”
"No need for that."
“Wouldn’t that help though? I wanna increase my chances.” You continue with that same joking tone.
"A little. What is your plan?"
“Give you head and then propose I guess.”
He suddenly blushes. “I didn’t expect you to say it so openly but love to hear what you think."
“Then I will keep speaking like this.” You move your face to give him a kiss on the lips. “So… You want it or not?”
Bucky nods and dutifully stays on his back, opening his legs more. You carefully undress him and settle between his legs. He’s already half hard and he looks so pretty laying like that, waiting for your next move. You start slowly, just moving your hands up and down, letting him enjoy it.
You lean down and start leaving kisses to him all over his skin. "Ahh." You move onto his thighs, placing your hand  on his cock without moving it.
"Gonna torture me?"
“Is this your definition of torture?”
"I'm a man."
“And I am a woman who enjoys what she is doing.” You don’t give him a chance to respond. You run the tip of your tongue from the bottom to the top of his cock.
"Oh, God." He closes his eyes for a couple of minutes.
“Open your eyes if you want me to continue.”
"Sorry..." he groans, opening them.
“Look at me the whole time, okay? Watch what I am doing to you. Think about this moment whenever you feel like giving up.” Then you finally take him inside your mouth.
"Oh, Jesus." His hands immediately get into your hair. "N-no warning?" You shake your head while your mouth is full of him. "I don't think I could forget this even if I wanted to."
You hum around his cock before you start to properly bob your head. You try to look at him, memorizing his reactions and see what he likes the most.
"Use your tongue more around the head, please."
You do what he asks, twirling your tongue around the head and watching him fall apart.
"Baby," he hisses. "Just like that."
You wrap your hand around the base after taking your mouth off it. Your fingers work on him while you take one of his balls inside your mouth, gently sucking to see if he likes it or not. He's so close as he bites his bottom lip. 
"You're a dirty little girl.” You hum in response, your mouth being too full to be able to answer him. "Wanna paint your face." It feels like the words are just spilling from his mouth.
You finally let go of his ball.
“My face, huh?” You ask before taking him back in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the head once again.
"You're a dirty girl, and I have to a make you dirtier. Would you like that?"
You shake your head in agreement, then you start moving your mouth and hand at the same time, going up and down until he quickly pulls out when he feels he's coming. And just like that, your face and hair are getting covered. You close your eyes and for some reason stick your tongue out.
"God, baby. You drive me insane." He finishes coming and stares at the way you lick some of his come. You can only open one of your eyes as his come is dripping on the other one. Then you wipe it off from your eyelid and lick it clean. "And you will make me get hard again."
“We know that doesn’t take much.” You giggle, remembering last night.
"You're so pretty like this. I can't..." He smiles watching you clean yourself more.
“I am not sure about that.” You smile. “I should go and clean myself properly.”
"Should we take a bath?" He excitedly asks
“Oh, that sounds great.”
Bucky helps her get up. "Let's go."
*
"Look at this," he leans in to kiss your forehead, taking the cup from you. "Thank you."
“After last night and this morning, the coffee was needed. At least for me.”
"I am human too, you know? I need coffee."
“You are a super human.” You smile before taking a sip.
"I hope my tongue is a super tongue, too." He winks and takes a few sips from his coffee. "So good. Now, I have something and I forgot to give it to you since we were... busy."
“Oh?”
Bucky nods and brings his hand into his left pocket. "Like I promised." Then he takes out a small wrapped up package.
“What is this?” You take it and quickly open it without destroying the wrapping. “Oh my god, Bucky! You got me new stockings!”
“Wanna try them on?"
“Right now?” You are surprised by his request.
"Yep. If you want, of course."
“You just want me to get undressed in front of you again.” You joke while standing up. You don’t mind trying them at all.
"Don't act as if you don't."
“See you get undressed or get undressed myself?” You take the stockings out of the package while talking.
"Both.” He watches you as you put them on, fascinated. “How do they feel?"
“They feel really nice.” You move your leg a little, inspecting the stockings. “High quality. Where did you even find this?”
"Pulled some strings. Being a soldier has its perks, you know? Being friends with Captain America, too." 
“You did not!”
"What?" He laughs at your tone.
“You used your Captain America advantage to get me stockings?”
"Yep."
“Oh my god!” You have a huge smile on your face when you are walking toward him. And without a word, you sit on his lap, straddling him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “Thank you. These are much better than the ones you ripped off.” You give him a kiss on his right cheek. “So you get a kiss.”
"So generous." He kisses you properly.
“Such a gentleman.” You pause for a few seconds before adding. “With dirty tendencies.”
"Well, I got a dirty girlfriend."
“Please, I’m pretty innocent.” You move away from his lap. “We didn’t even meet up in my apartment because that would be inappropriate.” You finally snort. “At least that’s what my friends think.”
"And you call them friends?"
“Gotta keep my reputation intact.” You shrug. That’s the way it is. “Oh, speaking of friends! I gotta ask you something otherwise Cassie will kill me.”
"What?"
“She wanted me to ask about Steve. Apparently, she hasn’t heard from him.”
"Oh…" It's all that Bucky says.
“Oh?”
"I didn't know."
“She wants to know if he ever mentions her.”
He doesn't know how to answer for a couple of seconds. Steve has never been into romance. "He's very focused on the future plans against Hydra."
“Well, that’s not surprising. If he thought about her, he would find a way to contact her, I guess.”
"He doesn't think about pretty much anyone, I am sorry."
You shrug. “I hope she doesn’t shoot the messenger.”
"I am sorry. Steve is very... particular. About life and work. He wanted to be in the army for so long, he doesn't see anything else."
“That’s… sad.” You reach for the coffee mug. “What about you?”
"Obviously not interested in sex or romantic life." He jokes once again, hoping that it would change the mood.
“I meant about life and work,  but we can talk about that too,” you say with a smile.
"I don't like fighting, you know? It's never ending." Even his voice sounds tired as he talks about it.
“I sensed that you don’t enjoy fighting, but I think you are pretty good at it. At least it seems that way, and I feel like you aren’t focused on the fight, but mostly on what can come after when this is all done.”
Bucky sighs, approving what you said with a nod. There is something scary and confusing about what the future. If he survives. What will change? After so much death and loss, what will happen?
"I hate this so much."
You have this urge to hug him and tell him it’s gonna be fine. Yet you don’t know if that’s the truth and you don’t wanna lie. “I hate it, too. It’s like our lives are completely revolving around the war.“
"Yes, but let's not think about it, baby." He kisses your forehead.
“It’s easier not to think about it when you are around.”
"You help me with that, too."
“Oh, do I?” You smile. “What do you think about instead of war when you are with me?”
"I think only about you."
“Another thing we have in common.”
Bucky smiles. "You're so smooth."
“Smooth? I meant I am thinking about myself, too.” You stick your tongue out a bit cheekily.
"Nice try." He snorts, amused by your comment. "I totally understand why you'd think about yourself, though."
“Why would I think about myself?” You wanna know what he’s thinking.
"You're funny, amazing, beautiful, smart." He kisses your cheeks. "You got everything."
“And what about you?”
"What about me?" He asks confused.
“What do you have?”
"Strings to buy you more stockings."
“Oh!” You both start to laugh. “That’s not all, though.”
"Right, I also got Captain America as my friend."
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Bucky sighs. "I don't have much to offer unfortunately. I have 4 siblings."
“Jesus, do you really not know?”
"If you mean sexually..."
“Not only that. Stop underestimating yourself, you have a lot to offer. Look at me.” He lifts his head as you asked. “I love spending time with you. It doesn’t matter what we are talking about, it’s always interesting. You are smart, funny, thoughtful and so so pretty.”
Bucky melts under your eyes. "No one called me pretty before."
“You are so pretty, you have no idea. These eyes…” You touch the corner of his eyelid. “These lines,” You caress the smile lines. “These lips…”
He blushes instantly feeling your touch and brings your hand closer to his lips in order to kiss it. "You're so sweet."
*
After spending a little bit more time in your apartment, you and Bucky decide to go for a walk. He’s here for a limited amount of time and he should make the most of it. Maybe you can stop by a book or a record store together, eat something he craves and enjoy this sunny day to the fullest. You don't even realize how close you are until you feel his hand touching yours, subtly trying to hold it.
You feel butterflies in your stomach. You did a lot of stuff together so far, but you haven’t held hands yet. Not publicly. Not like this. You open your hand, just showing you want him to hold it, and he does proudly. 
"Do you want some ice cream, sweetheart?"
You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. It’s so hard to fight the urge to smile. This might be the best day of your life. The sun is shining, Bucky is by your side, holding your hand. You don’t think life gets better than this. 
“I would love that.” He smiles before leaning in to kiss your head. Suddenly, you feel the urge to say what you have been thinking. He should know.
“You know that I will wait for you if you want, right?” You can’t help it. All the marriage and proposal jokes aside, you really want him in your life.
Bucky stops walking suddenly. "Doll..." He sighs, still holding your hand. "I don't want to make you go through this."
“You think I won’t go through it if we act like this means nothing, but you are wrong.” 
"I did not say that! This is not nothing, but I can't be engaged to you and leave you behind like this."
“Who said anything about being engaged?”
"We talked about getting married a lot. So I thought..."
“I didn’t say I don’t want to. I just meant that we don’t have to get engaged if that’s your concern.” 
"I don't know. Either way I can't let you go through that." He shakes his head. The last thing he wants is for her to wait for him not knowing if he will survive. "Because if I die..." 
“If you die… I would be devastated regardless. It doesn’t matter even if we decide not to see each other anymore.”
He doesn't say anything else, instead, he pulls you to him in the tightest hug you've ever felt.
"I don't want to lose you."
“Believe me, I don’t wanna lose you, either.” You wrap your hands around his body, burying your face into his chest. “My kidnapping offer still stands.”
You hear him snort. "You're just making up excuses to have me tied up."
“Do I need to?”
"No." He breaks the hug and reaches out for your hand again. "My future wife doesn't need excuses. You're stuck with me."
“And you are stuck with me.”
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fernlessbastard · 7 months
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So, what's the deal with this tnt duo art?
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I've explained it in my reblog of this post, but I've decided to copy this over to a brand new post as well, because especially with qsmp happening I'm sure we have many newer people here who don't get what's the deal with this piece
Ok so first off: the artist is _olga.exe_ on Instagram (I think also on twitter but i don't use Twitter so you'll have to check that one yourself)
To the best of my understanding this art just came out around June 2021, which was immediately after the first Revivedbur/Quackity interaction. The first two or so months the ship was exclusively seen as a crack ship - I'm not fully certain why, I think it's just that quackbur before wasn't all that known and popular, so it seemed like it came out of nowhere to the majority of the internet (which, it didn't, holy shit, those sluts have been so gay with each other for so long). It also was a time when most people only began realising that ccQuackity was capable of serious lore, which most likely added to how the ship was seen. Even I myself actually was very hesitant to bring it up to my partner, when I began slowly getting into it - of course while simultaneously deluding myself that it's nothing more than a crack ship for me (@octobre-ackedia oh would you look at how we ended up--).
This art was one of the first pieces that were fully serious, and couldn't be construed in any way shape or form as /p, so it got picked up by people on twitter and memed on. Around September 2021 tntblr began reclaiming it (and if I remember correctly we had a boom of posts sharing the original artist about that time).
In this surge of new people beginning to ship those two that's been happening for the past year or so, I need you all to remember that quackbur started off first as a very underground ship that almost no-one spoke of, and then became a crack ship. The header on my blog doesn't come from a "ha ha funny" self deprecating meme. #twquackburshipping was a tag that someone seriously used to tag a post about how Eret commented on some tntduo/r tiktok.
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I get how easy it is to forget how anti-mainstream of a ship quackbur used to be (or simply miss that, if you're newer - which, for the record, no shame, I'm happy to see the new faces!), considering ccQuackity's endorsement of it in the last months of dsmp, not to mention what's happening on qsmp, but all those "omg I'm a quackbur shipper ha ha don't hate me ha I'm cringe I know" jokes used to genuinely not be jokes something like 1,5 years ago.
I hope this explains it thoroughly, and to everyone a little bit newer to the ship: welcome! Glad to see you here, remember to have fun, and if you've got any questions, feel free to ask me :]]
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winchester-reload · 6 months
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Directions: Fill each prompt ON or After each day listed (the 1st-15th of October, then again on the 31st for our bonus day), then post it on your desired social media platform using tag #suptober23. Be sure to include which prompt you're fulfilling in each post. You can write, you can make art. You can do both! You decide. Rules: All posts must be Supernatural-themed. Like, comment, and reblog others' posts. No hate will be tolerated, including actor hate. NO AI. Do not throw a photo in a Photoshop filter and post it as art. Challenge yourself to create. Noncon, incest, and hate will not be reblogged.
To include your work in the Suptober 2023 archive, you must ALSO post it to the collection in Ao3!
In previous years, I've worked diligently to reblog each and every post listed in the tag to include in an archive on tumblr. However, more than a few things have changed in the past six years, including my earlier creeping bedtime. This year, I'd like to move the archive to Ao3 for something more inclusive. That means this year, it's up to you to get your work in there! Authors: be sure to use tags so your stories are searchable! * Artists: mind ao3's rules for images. You may choose to include a clickable link instead of the art itself.
Posting starts October 1st, 2023.
Special thank you to my friends over on Patreon for their help with this year's list! Truly without them, this would not be happening. Consider joining to help support more events like this! For a text copy of the prompts go here! Join the Discord
FAQ's
Why aren't there 31 prompts this year? Because I'm changing it up to something a little less overwhelming for you and me. Fill all the days, and if you're still hungry for more, send me a message and let me know it wasn't enough so I can take that into account for next year!
I posted my work and you haven't reblogged it. What did I do wrong? Probably nothing. I may have just missed it, which will happen. The good news is, it's up to you to include your work in an archive this year, so be sure to do that! Also be sure to tag it correctly using #suptober23, and the day you're fulfilling.
I'm really busy in October, can I post it later? Yes! The collection won't close.
I can't write or draw, is there another way I can participate? Yes, you can support all the creators by liking, commenting, and reblogging their work. It's just as important as the things being posted. Also, I bet you'll soon realize you absolute can make art and write too! There's no skill level required to have fun.
How long do the stories need to be? There's no word length just be sure to make a good effort, and challenge yourself.
Can I include multiple days in one fic? Sure, but don't post early, and be sure to tag for each day both here on tumblr (if you're posting to tumblr) and on Ao3. In the past, people have used each prompt as a new chapter, and that works great for a cohesive project!
Can I repost the prompt list with my posts? Yep. Go ham. Use at will.
More questions for me? Send me an ask!
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farfromstrange · 1 month
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Weed Cookies | Matt Murdock x F!Reader
PART 3 of The Vault
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See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!
Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader
Summary: Karen receives a box of cookies from one of their clients. Foggy and Matt take a bite. Even with his heightened senses though, Matt doesn't realize what's wrong with the cookies before he's absolutely wasted, and you have to babysit him. Yes, they were edibles.
Warnings: Fluff, faint hints at S3 depressed!Matt and suicidal ideations, attempt at humor, crack fic, accidental drug use, for the sake of this fic we are going to pretend that the edibles were made well enough for Mister I-Know-Everything to miss it
Word Count: 3.4k
A/n: I wrote this after watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy with the Weed Cookies. I took some behaviorisms from my own experiences and exaggerated them a little to fit the vibe of this fic. I scraped parts of this and once again adjusted them because this was even more poorly written before than it is now, and I added the Nelson, Murdock & Page Season 3 narrative again because that's now the running theme of this event. Anyway, if you choose to consume edibles, stay safe! (Also, I'm just copying and pasting my usual tag lists. if anyone wants to be added for this event, do let me know)
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“We just got cookies from Ms. Lebowsky next door,” Karen announces happily when she enters the office, balancing the transparent Tupperware in one hand and her handbag in the other. 
“She told me to thank you for helping her get out of that hellhole,” she says. Her eyes crinkle in the corners as a mischievous grin takes over her face. “There’s plenty for all four of us. Although she did mention Matt a few more times.”
“Ms. Lebowsky?” Foggy asks. He stands in the doorway of his office, holding a freshly brewed coffee. “Isn’t she the elderly lady we helped last week?”
“Yeah, that’s her. I think she has a crush on Matt.” 
He rolls his eyes. “Of course, she does. Who doesn’t? Not that I do, but—well, you get the gist.” The blood rushes to his cheeks, and Karen giggles in response.
From the office on the left, Matt’s voice rings out, “We just did our jobs,” he says. “She made us cookies, dude!” Foggy inspects the box on Karen’s desk. “They’re chocolate chip cookies. Our favorite. See what good looks can buy you?”
Matt chuckles, his fingers tracing the Braille indentations in the documents that are starting to form a mountain before him. “I think we got them because we’re good lawyers, Foggy.”
“Yeah, right. No way! That woman was smitten the second she came in. I really gotta get that blind thing going. I mean, she’s way too old for you, but come on! You’re in a serious committed relationship, and women still come piling at your door. It’s not fair.”
The way he whines like a little kid who has just been denied his favorite candy makes Karen laugh at his antics, and even Matt can’t help but join in. No matter how stressed he is, and how badly he wants to focus, Foggy never fails to lighten the mood.
Ever since moving offices, things have been going well for the trio. 
When Matt met you, he was at his lowest. You helped him climb out of a dark hole that was threatening to swallow him whole after losing Elektra and almost losing everything he worked so hard for to Wilson Fisk. Thanks to you, he found the will to fight again. You brought him back to life.
He wanted to die. He hated himself for the longest time after the building collapsed and forever took the first woman he ever loved down with its ruins, but then you came into his life, and you didn’t care about his baggage. You were far too good for him, but that didn’t matter to you. 
He fell for you hard and fast, and maybe the timing was a little off because what he needed was therapy and not someone new to get attached to. Still, if you hadn’t pulled him back to his feet and encouraged him to fight back against Fisk, saving his friendship with the people he cares most about in the process, he would have never made it far enough to get therapy.
Matt trusts you with his life because he feels like he owes it to you, but he also loves you more than anything. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him. You’re his soulmate, and he couldn’t be happier.
Nelson & Murdock added Karen to their permanent repertoire. With her, things are flowing much more smoothly, and they’re actually making money now. They’re expensive, as Foggy likes to say it. Matt’s friends are just as happy as he is, giving him hope for the future.
“Hey,” Foggy snaps him out of his trance, “Earth to Murdock.”
Matt blinks behind his glasses, his fingers halting their frantic movements along the paper. “While I don’t disagree with what you’re saying,” he says, “please don’t let my girlfriend hear you say that women are piling at my door.”
Karen snorts. “Trust me, Matt. She knows,” she says.
“Yeah, but you shouldn’t remind her of that.”
“My lips are sealed. Foggy?”
He sighs, once again dramatically. “As long as you don’t sleep with them, you have nothing to fear, my friend.”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” says Matt. “The one I’m sleeping with is incomparable.”
Foggy grimaces. “Oh, dude. Gross! You know, God made conscious thought as a mechanism for humans to know when to shut up.”
“To be fair, ninety percent of the population don’t know how to use that mechanism,” Karen jumps to Matt’s defense.
As he laughs, he takes a whiff of the air surrounding their new baked goods. Matt can smell the sweet chocolate of the cookies, and somewhat of a herbal essence, but he can’t quite pinpoint why the scent seems so familiar. 
Karen walks around her desk to drop her bag and her coat. “So, do guys want a cookie?” she asks, swiftly changing the subject.
“I’ll take one,” Foggy is quick to answer.
Matt nods from his desk. “I’ll try one, too.”
The innocent decision to indulge in a sweet treat soon comes back to bite them in the ass though. Heavily.
When Matt first bit into the cookie, he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. It tasted like chocolate mixed with basil, sugar, honey, and the kind of flour Ms. Lebowsky used, but he didn’t find much else wrong with it. Perhaps if he hadn’t allowed himself to get distracted by his phone calling out your name and the sweetest text he could have possibly received this early in the morning from the love of his life, he would have noticed that something tasted off about these cookies. And that what he believed to have been basil as a secret ingredient was something else entirely.
When lunchtime finally rolls around, you drop everything you were doing before and make your way to Matt’s office. You always spend lunch together. It’s your favorite time of the day. For an hour, you can forget the stress of your workplace and focus on him. He’s your safe haven. Your home. You crave to memorize his features anew every day so that you will have something to carry around with you when he has to work a bit longer, or when he goes out at night and his Daredevil duties drag on beyond what he planned. 
You need to be with him as much as possible because you’re scared that your happiness will shatter on a white cloth, and you will be forced to move on—you can’t imagine losing him. You dedicated your life to loving him, and the thought of ever losing that privilege kills you. 
On your way out, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You smile, thinking that it’s Matt, but when Karen’s number pops up on your screen, you frown. 
‘We have a problem,’ she texted you. Without context. 
All the alarms in your head start blaring, and you start to walk a little faster. You start imagining all possible scenarios. When you ask Karen what’s going on, she doesn’t even reply. What if someone got hurt? What if something happened to Matt? You almost lost him once; you can’t go through that again. 
You burst into the new office space that your friends share a few minutes later, your chest heaving and sweat dripping down your pulsating temples. You’re ready to fight whoever dared to hurt the man you love, or possibly threaten your friends, or both, but when you look up and see your darling boyfriend with his cheek pressed against one of the leaves on their gigantic office plant as if the overgrown Calathea were the coziest pillow he has ever touched, you understand why Karen texted you that you—both you and her—have a problem. A big one, too, judging by the looks of it.
“What is going on here?” you ask the dreaded question, shutting the door behind you.
Only then do you notice Karen to your right in Foggy’s office, trying to get him off of his office chair. He’s belting the chorus of Defying Gravity at the top of his lungs, and he’s got a broom clutched tightly in his right hand.
Oh boy. Your wide eyes drift to Karen’s desk in the middle of the room. As soon as you see the chocolate cookies inside the Tupperware, it slowly begins to dawn on you.
You’re not sure which is worse: Matt cradling a houseplant with his glasses discarded and the first three buttons of his dress shirt undone as he’s coated in sweat, or Foggy singing one of Broadway’s greatest ballads so off-key that the Calathea is starting to wither.
It takes Matt much longer than usual to sense your presence in the room. He calls your name, and his lips curl into a bright grin. Even completely out of it, he looks like an angel on earth. 
“Matthew,” you say. You approach him like you would approach a little kid. He’s on his knees, so the analogy isn’t far off. 
“Hi, honey. What’s going on?”
“Sweetheart,” he greets you, and you have never heard this man sound so relaxed. His hazel eyes are red-rimmed and glazed over, but the most obvious change lies in his behavior. 
“Feel that.” He reaches for your hand when you’re close enough for him to smell you, but he misses. “Where are you?” Matt pouts. “I can’t see.”
You want to laugh, but this is not the time. “You are blind, baby,” you remind him. 
“Since when?”
“Over twenty years.”
“Oh.” He finally gets a hold of your hand. The conversation seems to go right over his head. “Feel the power of nature,” he tells you. “It’s so soft.”
You want to drag him away from the potentially dangerous plant if he decides to eat it, but the sight of him is one to behold. He looks downright adorable. 
You have to focus though. You gently pat his hand. “Maybe later,” you say, and then you make your way to Karen’s desk to inspect the cookies.
Behind you, she calls your name. You twirl around. From the looks of it, she managed to get Foggy down from his chair, but he remains singing at the top of his lungs. All the signs point to one thing, and one thing only.
“Did you give my boyfriend weed cookies?” you sound a lot more condescending than you planned to. 
Karen shakes her head. Her face is pale, and she looks just as panicked as you do. “Those are not mine,” she says. 
“But you knew they were edibles?!”
“Of course, I didn’t! I started questioning it when Matt started cuddling the plant because his Braille felt like boobs and he didn't want to cheat on you, so he decided that he needed to touch some grass.” She points to him, exasperated. As if on cue, Matt lets out a happy little sigh.
Your brain struggles to process all of the information at once. “I’m sorry, what?”
“He said that his Braille feels like boobs. I don’t know! I thought he was messing with me until Foggy turned into Elphaba, and that’s when I took a bite and realized there was weed in them,” she says.
You groan, your worried eyes momentarily flicking back to your high boyfriend. High. That’s not a word you thought you would ever associate with him. “How did this happen?” you ask.
“Ms. Lebowsky, the lady next door, we helped her out the other day, and this morning, she gave me these cookies. I called her when these two started acting like idiots—more than usual, anyway. Turns out, she confused them with the ones her niece made for her birthday party tomorrow.”
“Her niece made edibles for her birthday party?”
“Please, don’t ask. I don’t have all the details. I just–”
“It’s fine,” you cut her off. “Just tell me that you’ve got Foggy under control.”
Karen peeks in through the window to his office. “More or less, yeah. You’ve got Matt?”
“Yeah, I’ve got him.”
You have to take care of him. He’s your responsibility. But as calm as he is right now, his heightened senses make the situation a lot more complex than the mere accidental consumption of edibles.
Walking over to him, you try to haul him up. He protests, at first, but then he feels the fabric of your shirt, and he slacks.
Matt wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. “You’re so soft,” he coos. “You smell like honey.”
With his entire weight on you, you have to widen your stance so you won’t fall over. His usually quick reflexes are nonexistent right now; he won’t be able to catch you if you trip, and then you’re both going to get hurt.
“You know what’s even softer?” you ask.
“The plant,” he answers confidently. He sounds like a more careless version of himself. You can’t deny that it does something to you.
“No, silly,” you chuckle softly, “I meant your bed.”
“Oh. But I’m not tired.”
“You’re high.”
He pouts. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know.” You stroke his back. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”
He stiffens and relaxes at the same time. You swear you can feel the electricity in his veins as his nerves respond to the feeling of your skin on his. It’s like he’s on fire. Like your touch feels a million times more intense, and he’s being crushed under the weight of it in a way that makes him crave more. 
He squeezes you tighter, trying to get swallowed by you, consumed to the point that you are the same person. The drugs are doing a number on him, and his already heightened sense of feeling has increased tenfold to the point you’re not sure if it’s pleasurable or painful or both. It must be agonizing, yet at the same time there is a high chance that the weed is calming his nerves and dampening his perception to the point he’s taking everything in without the added weight—he’s enjoying the newfound sensations in limbo, and he’s unaffected by it. You wonder how long that is going to last. 
After bidding farewell to Karen, wishing her good luck with Foggy who has now reached a point of his high where he’s lying on the floor, demanding to listen to Bohemian Rhapsody and cry over Freddie Mercury. She assures you that she has got it under control, apologizes again, and then sends you on your way.
“Bye, Karen,” Matt says. “You have very nice hair.” His hand tangles in yours, and his face lights up like a Christmas Tree. You managed to convince him to put his glasses on, at least, or he might get irritated. “Never mind,” his voice turns into a pur. 
Usually, you would shiver at his fingers in your hair, tracing the strands and sensually massaging your scalp only he knows how to, but today is not one of those days. You’re still concerned about the effects that the weed might have on him, so you want to be careful, although you’re not sure how much longer you can keep yourself from laughing. 
As you maneuver Matt through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, his cane hovers above the ground and his arm is hooked around yours. Without you, he would have run off into traffic by now. He has absolutely no spatial awareness anymore. 
Every sound, scent, and texture seems to capture his attention, but there's one sensation in particular that he can't seem to shake: thirst. You’re not even home yet, and you had to stop by a convenience store to get him a bottle of water. He shed his coat, which you are now carrying for him while also guiding him while simultaneously trying not to attract any unwanted attention. 
You can’t help but look at him as though he is your whole world. He is. He is everything to you, even high on edibles he never meant to consume, and acting like a feral toddler. If anything, you are even prouder now that he is yours. 
“Hey,” he whispers, leaning close to you, “do you think fire hydrants taste like licorice?”
You shake your head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Matt, don’t lick the fire hydrant.” 
He pouts. For a moment, you think that you have steered off any possible disaster, but that was only wishful thinking.
Matt’s curiosity knows no bounds, and he’s soon reaching out to touch anything that catches his eye. He runs his fingers along the rough brick foundation of a building, marveling at the texture, and he stops to sniff a flower, declaring, “This is the most beautiful flower I have ever smelled.”
You pluck it for him, and he carries it in the pocket of his coat with a happy smile. 
You’re both exhausted when you finally make it to his apartment. Getting his large frame through the door is one thing, stopping him from tearing the tap off the sink as he desperately searches for liquid with the words, “Water!” is another.
“Okay, okay,” you try to calm him. You grab a bottle from the fridge, open it for him, and force him to take it. “Drink.”
One touch is enough for him to drop it. “It’s cold,” he recoils in agony.
You sigh. “Tap water it is, then.”
You have never seen him down so many glasses of water. He is severely dehydrated and sensitive to changes in temperature. It’s either too hot or too cold, and you’re so glad that Karen texted you when she did.
You manage to get him to the couch with some snacks that he devours within seconds. If he moves one more inch today, you may not be able to catch him again.
His lip twitches. “Chickens don’t have any arms.”
You pause in the process of wrapping him in a blanket, staring blankly ahead at him. “Excuse me?” you ask.
“Chickens don’t have any arms,” Matt states. “Every American citizen has the right to bear arms under the second amendment in the constitution. If an egg was fertilized on US soil, and the chicken hatched there as well, technically, that makes them a citizen of the United States of America, therefore allowing tiny creatures without arms the right to bear arms, but who gives the bears their arms?” 
You’re so flabbergasted that the absurdity of the situation eludes you. The words process only slowly in your mind, and when they do, they cause a wave of confusion to wash over you before it turns into genuine amusement, and it takes every ounce of self-control to keep yourself from laughing at him.
You can pinpoint the exact second the thought escapes his mind and something else replaces it. His hand brushes over the leather couch. “Smooth,” he observes. You haven’t even fully processed his very philosophical question about the animal kingdom before he drops his cheek down on the couch.
The man who has been carrying the weight of the world in bricks on his back for years is finally relaxed; it shouldn’t leave such a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.
You kneel in front of him, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Do you need anything?” you ask.
Matt’s gaze is filled with an odd sort of clarity. “Nah. Just you,” he mumbles.
A soft smile tugs at your lips as you brush a sweaty strand of hair away from his forehead. "I'm right here," you reassure him. 
He nods, his eyelids drooping as the effects of the edibles start to take their toll. “Good.” He searches for your hand, and you help him intertwine your fingers. A giddy smile finds its way onto his face. “You’re warm.”
You lean in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “And you’re high,” you tease.
Matt huffs out a breathy laugh. “Mmh, yeah,” he says. “But it’s okay. ‘Cause you’re here.”
Despite the chaos and the unexpected turn of events, there’s a sense of contentment settling over you as you watch him drift off into a state of bliss. He deserves it more than anyone. 
You stay by his side, watching over him as he succumbs to the pull of sleep that you’re all too familiar with after a sudden high. 
“Note to self,” you say to yourself, “never eat a stranger’s cookies without drug testing them first.”
And love has funny ways of making even the most absurd moments feel strangely beautiful.
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Matt Murdock Tag List: @littlenerdyravenclaw @yarrystyleeza @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @thatonegamefish @norestfortheshelbywicked @mattkinsella @itwasthereaminuteago @linamarr @gpenguin666 @acharliecoxedfan
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bumblebeesfromvenus · 1 month
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PALentines day 💋
Bale!Bruce Wayne x reader drabble <3
A/N: we all know about Valentines day, we've beard about Galentines day, now get ready for Palentines day!! A day to celebrate the most platonic of friendships... most of the time.
(I'm sorry that this is so short, I've been trying to write some shorter stuff lately <3)
~Fi 🐝
Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
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─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Friends. That's what you were. The friendliest, most platonic tier of friends. Okay, you were good friends. You did hang out a lot, and it was always fun. Maybe best friends is a better term. You went to each other for advice and whatever was on your mind, always having someone to confide in.
Bruce was the best best friend, which is why he stood in front of your door with a overly dramatic bouquet of flowers and a disgustingly expensive box of chocolates.
Because, if your friend doesn't have a valentine, you step up and make them a little surprise to brighten their day! ... right? This isn't weird. No, he's just being a good friend, that's all.
At least that's what he told himself when his brows furrowed and a subtle feeling of regret started to seep into his bones. He hated how much this felt like he was actually taking you out and not like a thoughtful gesture you'd get from a friend.
And it didn't help his case of being madly in love with you, either. He hated himself for how much he liked this, being able to pretend that you were more than just friends for even a split second. That he was able to do what he's been wanting to do for years; show you just how much you truly mean to him.
Bruce has had a gray, dull and gloomy life. Everything seemed to go wrong for him, throwing him deeper and deeper into emotional ruin. But then you came along and made everything just that little bit more bearable. You were like his little ray of sunshine that broke through the heavy clouds and make him see the beautiful colors of the world again.
And he knows that he can never give you back just how much you've given him, but some flowers and a box of pralines are the steps in the right direction... right? Jesus Christ, what was he doing? He's just your best friend. God, this IS weird.
And for a beat, he'd actually thought about turning straight on his heel and sinking into a pit of shame once he was back in the privacy of his own home. Bruce huffed in frustration at himself. He'd been standing in front of your door like this, like an idiot, for the past 10 minutes and still hadn't found the courage to knock.
The crease between his brows softened. What if... you appreciated his gesture? What if, this was exactly what you needed after a rough week. Just someone thinking of you. And, what if... you felt the same? A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, along with a pinch in his heart.
Bruce wanted nothing more than for it to be true, to know that you've been loving him just as he's been loving you. He was never a fan of hope, but that's all his lovesick heart was filled with now. Overflowing with the desperate hope that he has the chance to make you his and treat you like the treasure you are.
He had the urge to fall to his knees before you and just let everything spill out, how you made his life better in every way, and that he was but a man who couldn't help but fall for his guardian angel.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
🌹
《Tag list》: @allysunny @certifiedredhoodlover @hellonheels-x @gaozorous-rex-blog
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siampie · 2 months
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Risk and Reward||Chapter 1: When I Met You
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 4.1k
Summary: You have a hard time settling into your new life but with new acquaintances and newfound friendships. You slowly find your footing.
Warnings/tags: 18+ contains smut (not sure, don’t know how to write it but I’ll try), angst, fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, childhood trauma
A/N: So, this is a first for me. Please be indulgent. I am no stranger to writing fiction. I’ve done it before just not on this platform. Also, this is my first time writing in 2nd POV and for Matt Murdock. There isn’t much of him in this chapter but I hope the small bits I have is as close as it is to his character. I did what I always do before writing fiction, read other writers' work and see how they capture the character and watched videos or episodes to get a good feel of the character. So, I hope you will like it. Feedback is welcome. And just enjoy! Also English is not my first language.
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Dividers by @cafekitsune
Song the title is referring to:
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You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feelin’
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
And it all began when I met you
“Another day, another week.” You whispered to yourself as you stepped in the building where you work. You smiled quickly at the receptionist before making your way to the elevator. After you made the big move across the states, you were lucky to land a job as a proofreader in a publishing house. It wasn’t your dream job but it was the next best thing.
For as far as you can remember, you have always been taking care of your family. Many expectations and responsibilities were put on your shoulders from a very young age. So, when your brother stepped in and decided to move your father in with him, you felt some relief. A load was being taken off of your shoulders. You loved your family. But over the years, you had started to resent them slightly. You resented your father for being sick. You resented him for taking out his bad moods on you. You resented your siblings because they get to live their lives. You resented them for leaving you behind in the dust. You knew you loved them but you resented them. And you didn’t want to hate them. So, you left.
You made the move to Hell’s Kitchen, six months ago and you had big plans. First of which, was to properly kickstart your life. You didn’t think it would be easy. You knew it would have been a challenge but you didn’t think it would be that hard. After six months, you thought you would have made some friends or at least some acquaintances. But shy as you were, and as cautious as you were, making friends did not come easy for you.
You dropped your bag on the ground next to your chair. And dropped your coat on the back of it. Your desk was already stacked with manuscripts that needed to be proofread. You always started your day the same, first you read your emails and answered the most important ones. Then came coffee and then came reading with a red pen. You were to review any typos that may have somehow slipped past the author and the copy editor. You were also to review for issues like kerning and stacking and whether the running head is consistent. Proofreading was the last step before publication. You knew it was an important step, so you did it thoroughly. And you did it well. At least, you thought you did. Your boss had not complained about your work so far. And you took it as a good sign.
One of your coworkers stopped by your desk and softly called your name. You looked up at her. You knew her, you had barely interacted with her a few days before. She had long, red hair, that you loved, and legs for days. Her name was Amelia. A few nights ago, as you were leaving after workhours, she was standing outside of the building. A cigarette between her lips as she was looking for something.
“Excuse me?” She stopped you. You turned to her. “Do you have a lighter?”
“Yeah.” You nodded quickly. Your best friend from high school, had convinced you to buy a pack of lighter once. Telling you that it was the best way to meet people and to make friends. More precisely to meet your future boyfriend. “There you go.” You handed her the lighter.
“Thanks.” She lit her cigarette before giving it back to you. She took a long drag at it. The tension in her shoulders dropped. “I needed that.”
“You’re welcome.” You smiled at her and turned to leave.
“You’re that new proofreader, aren’t you?” She asked you.
“Yeah.” And you gave her your name.
“That’s a pretty name.” She remarked. “I’m Amelia.”
“Nice to meet you.” Amelia was not a proofreader. She was an acquisitions editor. The one, literary agents would come to, to sell a book. The book landed in her hands first, and if they made it past her, they landed in yours last.
You stayed with her long after she finished her cigarette. You walked with her because it was dark out. And Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t the safest place to be after dark. And there was strength in numbers. Coincidentally, your flat and hers weren’t that far apart. So, you walked her home before going to yours.
After that, you had not seen or heard much of Amelia. You thought that was it. But there she was, talking to you.
“So, some of us are going to grab a drink after work and I thought that maybe you would love to join us?” She sat on your desk.
“It’s barely 9 and you’re already thinking about the end of the day.” You scoffed lightly.
“Well, I need something to look forward to.” Amelia laughed. “So, wanna come?”
Your default answer was ready to come out of your mouth. You were already making up excuses to not go. And then you stopped yourself. Why shouldn’t you go tonight? There was no one waiting for you at home. You had no obligations. It could be a fun night out; you could even make a few new friends. Might even start a new friendship with Amelia. After all, she came to seek you out. She wanted to invite you.
“Why?” You had not meant to ask this out loud.
“What?”
“Why invite me? We barely talked to each other? Why ask me?”
“You said you just moved here in Hell’s Kitchen, remember?” Amelia gave you a tight smile. And you nodded at her words. “I figured I do the nice thing and invite you to come with us. Since, you don’t really know anyone here.”
Now, you felt stupid. You could feel your neck and cheeks heat up with your embarrassment. Not everyone was going to hurt you. There were good people in the world, you had to remind yourself of that.
“Sorry.” You apologized quickly. “I—I would love to come.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You nodded quickly.
“Good, I’ll come and get you when it’s time to go.”
You pressed your hands against your neck. If you could see yourself, you were sure there would be splotches of red all over it. Of course, you had to go and ask why? If “no” was your default answer most of the time, “why?” wasn’t too far behind. When your niece had first told you she loved you, your first answer wasn’t to say it back. It was to ask her why? And she had answered very sweetly: “Because you’re funny and you give the best hugs. And you always play with me.” And after that you never asked again. You only said it back. Because you did, you loved her very much.
You did not know why you did this. It was almost as though you did not believe that good things could happen to you. And if it did, it was not sincere. It was because someone wanted something from you and once, they got it. They’d leave you high and dry.
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As the end of your day was nearing. Your anxiety was starting to get the better of you. You dreaded the moment Amelia would come and pick you up. You had agreed to it earlier because you genuinely wanted to. But now, all you wanted, was to go home. Not because you were drained or overstimulated. No, because you simply did not feel like going anymore. You were hoping she would forget about you. Or at least, it would have been cancelled.
It wasn’t cancelled. And you couldn’t just bail on them. It was the first time, since you arrived in Hell’s Kitchen, that you had been invited to hang out. If you bailed on them now, you might not be invited ever again. So, you went. And who knows, you might have some fun.
“Josie’s.” You read out as you stopped in front of the bar with Amelia.
“Yeah, it’s a dive bar, really.” Amelia told you quickly. “But the drinks good enough.”
“Okay.”
She pulled you in after her. You both stopped at the bar to order your drinks and she then took you to their table. It was a small gathering. You recognized a few people, there was the receptionist; Clara. Then, there was another proofreader, you had interacted with. Barely. His name was Sebastian and some other people. You sat next to Amelia.
As soon as you sat down, they resumed their conversations. You were a silent observer. You laughed at their jokes. You listened intently to what they were saying. And you were really brief when they asked you questions about yourself. And redirected the attention on someone else as quickly as possible. You did not want the spotlight to be on you.
While your coworkers were conversing with one another, you couldn’t help but glanced around you. Your eyes travelled over the numerous patrons in the bar. Bikers, blue collar workers and some white-collar workers. They were many. The bar seemed to be quite successful.
And then your eyes landed on him.
Dark haired, with red tinted glasses and a cane. His plump lips were begging to be kissed, his jawline was to die for. His hair looked soft to the touch and you were itching to run your fingers through them. His shirt was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination. You could tell that he was well built underneath it. And his smile—oh, his smile was the most beautiful, you’ve ever laid eyes on. It lit up his whole face. Made him look younger. He looked perfect in every way.
You quickly darted your eyes away. You did not want to be caught staring. However, it was too late. Unbeknownst to you, Amelia had caught you looking.
“So, you look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Amelia said as she pulled you to the bar, to grab another drink.
“I am.” You nodded. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“No problem.” Amelia nudged your shoulder. “Would you want to do it again sometimes?”
“Yes, but can we space them out?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” She snorted. “It’s only when the urge strikes.” And she turned away from you. She looked over her shoulder briefly. “So, someone caught your eye.”
“What? No.” You answered quickly.
“That’s not what I saw.” She smirked at you. Josie pushed your beers towards you. “You kept staring at glasses over there.” She waved her hand towards perfect man.
“No, I did not.” You protested while pulling her hand down.
“Oh, come on!” Amelia insisted. “It’s not a crime. He’s pretty and you have eyes. It’s okay to stare a little.”
“Stop.”
“But you know what would be even better?”
“I’m going to regret this.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “What?”
“If you spoke to the guy. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Rejection.” You simply answered.
“Well, rejection is part of the game.” She shrugged. You gave out a deep sigh, and put your chin in the palm of your hand. “You got nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
Nothing to lose? Easy for her to say. After all, she wasn’t the one who had her heart broken, so many times, that there was barely anything left of it. When it came to the matters of the heart, you did not think that the risks were worth it. Even if it was for a Pretty Boy.
Your eyes landed on him again, in spite of yourself. His eyes seemed to be on you and Amelia. Almost as though he was directly looking at you. But he was blind, right? That would be impossible.
“You’re staring again.” She teased you. And you turned back to the bar quickly.
“Drop it.” You told her sternly. “It’s not worth it.” Her eyebrows went into her hairline. “Plus, a guy like him would never go for a girl like me.”
“What? Beautiful and sweet?”
“I’m not beautiful. I’m not ugly but I’m not beautiful. I’m average at best.” You shook your head. “And I’m not sweet.”
Amelia looked at you baffled by your defensiveness over compliments. You acted as though she insulted you. She pushed your beer away from you.
“First, those were compliments and not insults. So, take them.” Amelia said. “And why would he go for someone else when he could go for you?”
“You’re being this nice to me over a lighter?”
“It’s not just about the lighter.” She told you. “You walked me home. You didn’t have to but you did. It was very kind and sweet. Thus, proving my point. You are sweet.”
“It was practical. My flat isn’t too far away from yours. And it was as much for your safety as it was for mine.” You shrugged. “It’s dangerous at night in Hell’s Kitchen.”
Amelia rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration. “You are going to take that compliment. I will beat it into you, if I have to.”
“That would be assault.”
“You thing you’re funny, uh?”
“I think I’m adorable.”
“Bitch, you’re testing my patience.” And that got a laugh out of you. She shook her head and laughed with you. “You really are annoying.”
“That’s more like it.” You grinned at her. “Want me to walk you home again?”
“Yeah,” She nodded and clinked her beer with yours. “We finish our drinks and then, we’re good to go.”
“Okay.”
She waved her finger at you. “But this conversation is not over.”
“What conversation?” You retorted, taking on a faux air of innocence.
Amelia glared at you which elicited a chuckle out of you. “Put a few drinks in you and you turn into a comedian. Who would have thought?”
“I could have mentioned it. Save you some time.”
“Do you need to have an answer to everything?”
“Should I answer that or--?”
“Oh, shut up.” And you snorted.
She raised her beer to her lips and toss it back. She gulped the rest of the bottle down and slammed it back onto the counter. Both of your empty bottles were left on the counter and you walked back to your small group of friends. On your way there, your eyes automatically found Pretty Boy, once again. Again, his gaze seemed to be on you and you dropped your eyes to the ground immediately. Feeling guilty that you were staring again, you let out a long sigh and muttered to yourself. “If he’s ever going for someone, it would be for Amelia.”
“There you go.” Amelia handed you your coat and bag. “What are you muttering to yourself again?”
“What do you mean again?” You asked stunned, blood rushing to your neck and cheeks. “You caught me doing that a lot?”
“You are not really trying to hide it.” Amelia shrugged. “So, what was it?”
“Nothing. It was nothing.” You pouted while you put on your coat.
“Was it about Pretty Boy?” She smirked at you.
“Oh, stop!” You said as sternly as possible with your lips jutted out in a pout. “It wasn’t about Pretty Boy.”
“Hmm,” She nodded smugly. “I’ll pretend I believe that.” She laced her arm with yours as you both exited the bar.
“He is really pretty.” You smiled shyly. Amelia’s shoulder nudged yours, as she giggled along with you.
“Next time, we see him. You’re talking to him.” You groaned at her words.
That night was the first time, you ever laid eyes on him. And you thought it would be the last time.
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What were the chances for you to stumble upon him in this city ever again? He could be living outside of the city. Or it was only chance that brought him there tonight. And this was a once in a lifetime chance to meet the love of your life. And you blew it.
“Shut up!” You groaned as you slapped your forehead. “I did not blow my chance because there wasn’t one to begin with.”
“Voices in your head?” Amelia put down the lighter next to you.
“They’re really loud today.” You shook your head. “And you don’t have to bring it back all the time. You can keep it.”
“I won’t have an excuse to come and see you. anymore”
“You don’t really need one.” You sighed.
“True.” She smirked. “Wanna go to Josie’s tonight?”
“What are we celebrating?” You retorted.
“Nothing.” Amelia shrugged. “I thought maybe we could blow off some steam.” She shrugged and sat down on your desk. “Seeing as those last two months were kinda crazy.”
“Yeah, they were.” You agreed. “I mean we are nearing the end of the season.”
As it were in the publishing world, books are published in a three-season cycle: Winter, Summer and Fall. Winter season came to a close by the end of April and the datelines were getting closer. For the last two months, you and your team had been working nonstop. You and the author of the book you were proofreading, were going back and forth about editing issues he had. And his anxieties regarding the matter were also affecting you. Under pressure and anxious, you and your coworkers had no time to go back out.
“I could use the break.” You leaned back in your chair. “And a couple of beers.”
“It’s a date.” Amelia got back on her feet. “Meet you by the reception desk.”
“Yeah, see you.”
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Amelia and you were on the sidewalk in front of Josie’s. She was smoking a cigarette before you both get in.
“Doesn’t it bother you?” Amelia asked you.
“I like the smell of it.” You shrugged.
She took another puff before she elbowed your side. You glared at her.  Her pointy elbow dug into your side painfully. “What’s that for?”
“It seems you’re in luck tonight.” She looked down at you. And with a jerk of her head, she indicated at something behind you.
You turned around and there he was. Tapping his cane on the sidewalk, holding the arm of a beautiful blonde. There was a man, blonde also, walking on his other side. Pretty Boy’s tie was loose around his neck and slightly crooked. A giant smile was on his face as the beautiful lady on his side threw her head back in laughter. You kept your eyes on their little group as they disappeared into the bar.
“Alright, tonight’s the night.” Amelia took a last puff out of her cigarette.
“What?” You turned to her confused.
“We agreed that next time we see him here, you would talk to him.”
“I did not agree to anything. You agreed with yourself.” You told her as she started to drag you toward the bar. “Amelia, stop!” You pulled your arm away from her.
“What are you so afraid of?” Amelia huffed in annoyance.
“Rejection. Humiliation. Mortification. Embarrassment.” You started to list out.
Sure, he was handsome. He was painfully handsome. And although, you had thought of his lips on yours, of his hands running through your hair as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear. Your hands flew to your ears at the thought. They warmed up as your blood rushed to them. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t talk to him.
“I’m perfectly fine with watching him from afar.” You said quietly, dropping your hands. “Can we go somewhere else, please?” You crossed your arms over your chest, making yourself as small as possible.
She dropped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side. “We already here, so we might as well go in.” You started pulling away from her. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. Relax.” She pulled you back in and turned you towards the doors.
“Promise?” You put your pinky out.
“Promise.” She hooked her pinky with yours.
In most situations, you weren’t afraid to go after what you wanted. Of course, you had to pass it through a few people first. Just to make sure you were making the right decision. Especially, when it came to your job. But when it came to relationships—romantic ones, you never took the first step. You were always afraid that the people you wanted—you desired—wouldn’t want you back. Which explains your lack of experiences when it came to dating. And the disappointing sexual experiences you had.
You sat at the bar and ordered your beer. Amelia sat beside you but kept looking over her shoulder. You turned briefly to where she was looking. And surely enough, she was looking directly towards Pretty Boy and his friends. You sighed and turned back around.
“You promised, remember?” You told her. “Pinky promised. Those are sacred.”
“Yeah, I know.” She pouted and turned back around. “You’re going to regret it later.”
“Don’t I know it?” You exhaled deeply.
How many times have you let someone go before you were too afraid to speak? How much longer will you stay up at night wondering about what ifs? How much longer will you stand in the way of your own happiness? How much longer will you live in fear?
There was comfort in fear. It kept you on your toes. It told you where the edge was. It helped you survive. There was nothing wrong with fear. There were no broken hearts, no hurt feelings. It was safe.
And yet—you wished you could take that step. You knew you could. You’ve done it before. You left the comfort of your home. Of everything you’ve known to come here in Hell’s Kitchen. What was the worse that could happen in talking to him? Nothing, right? It was just talking. A simple conversation between two people. Or maybe, you would just give him your number. He could call you if he wanted to. If not—well, you would keep wondering why he didn’t call you. The thought of it was torture enough.
You glanced back over your shoulder at Pretty Boy. He was no longer sitting with his friends. His coat was still there on the back of his chair, but he was gone. You turned back to your drink, and sorrowfully starting to play with the condensation on your beer.
“What can I get you, Murdock?”
“Just another beer, Josie, thanks.”
You turned your eyes towards the voice. And there he was. So, much more handsome up close. His voice was nice and deep. Music to your ears. You turned your eyes away from him. Your heartbeat was now racing in your ribcage. You looked up at the ceiling, searching for some sort of answers.
“Hey, I’m gonna go out for a smoke.” Amelia announced slamming her bottle on the counter.
“I’ll come with you.” You squeaked out.
“You should definitely stay and enjoy yourself.” Amelia pulled her hair out of the collar of her coat. “I’ll be back in a moment. You should—you know strike up a conversation or two.” And she pointedly looked at the man by your side.
You gasped as she left. “You promised!” You called after her. “Pinky promised.”
“What did she promise?” Pretty Boy asked you. A grin plastered on his face.
You took a few minutes to answer, your eyes following Amelia’s exit out of the bar. And let out a breath. “To not make me do something I didn’t want to do.”
“And what was it? The thing you didn’t want to do.”
You couldn’t help the small grin that came onto your face before you answered. “Striking up a conversation with someone.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “Why not?”
“It’s kind of terrifying for me to—talk to people.” The blood was rushing to your chest, your heart was slamming against your ribcage.
“You’re talking to me now.” His voice seemed lower as he spoke.
You scoffed. “True. I am.”
“How does it feel?” His lips twitched up at the corners.
“Not as terrifying as I thought.”
He chuckled. And you smiled at the sound. “I’m Matt.” He extended his hand out to you.
You put your hand in his. Your breath hitched in your throat as your skin touched his. You cleared your throat before giving him your name.
“You have a pretty name.” He told you.
“You make it sound prettier.” You quipped back, feeling braver now. His eyebrows flew high on his forehead before he let out a laugh. You laughed along with him. “Nice to meet you, Matt.”
“Pleasure’s all mine.” He nodded, this boyish grin never leaving his face.
That was the night you officially met Matt Murdock. It wasn’t as daunting as you thought it would be. In fact, speaking with Matt came easy to you. His eyes were unseeing and yet, they were always on you. And for once in your life, you did not mind the attention.
You didn’t think anything life altering would come of it. If anything, you thought you were gaining another friend.
Little did you know…
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starstruckmoony · 9 months
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style.
masterlist
pairing - sirius black x fem!reader
summary - you and sirius start dating after accidentally running into each other at a concert but confirm nothing (till now), just to watch everyone lose their shit online.
trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour
word count - 1k
warnings - language
part 1 / part 2 / part 3
yourusername added to their story
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starmanblack
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❤ liked by yourusername, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 856,327 others
starmanblack shades
26,013 comments
yourusername cigarette*
starmanblack ok duolingo
yourusername smash tbh
starmanblack not you copying my comment
yourusername i don't have the rizz it takes to come up with something original
starmanblack ain't no way you just said that
prongsyboy stop stealing people's glasses 😤
starmanblack never
vance_emm i'm like ragingly gay but you're kinda cute
starmanblack this is why you're my favourite lesbian
mmmckinnon TRAITOR
mmmckinnon it's not too late to delete this
starmanblack get out of my comment section
user828181 address the rumours sirius
user000423 run me over with your car i promise i'll pay for the damages 🙏
user627477 YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN US ANY ANSWERS
user999653 i'm perfect wife material, just saying
user424227 y'all realise that he's less likely to address the rumours if we keep being annoying 💀
user209996 nah fr he's gonna start hating us all
yourusername
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❤ liked by starmanblack, prongsyboy, pandorasbox and 899,997 others
yourusername never would have though that my shows in dublin would be the craziest ones out of all but you guys actually delivered and i couldn't be happier! 💕 these past three nights were absolutely insane and i can't wait to be back (and i may or may not have already booked a few venues 😩) PLUS someone got proposed AND I DIDN'T EVEN SEE 😭 so if any of you beautiful people who were there have the video my dms are open for business lmao 🙏💞
tagged ev.rosier
27,664 comments
starmanblack apparently the proposal happened right next to me 💀
yourusername BABE HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE?
starmanblack CAUSE YOU WERE BETTER THAN THE PROPOSAL
starmanblack my guitar ate as always
yourusername she's even signed 😱
starmanblack slay 😝
yourusername GO TO SLEEP OMG
starmanblack say it to my face 😤
xeno_lovegood i had so much fun
yourusername i'm smiling so hard rn
pete__ sirius is a certified simp because how do you miss a proposal that's happening next to you?
mmmckinnon it's because he's both sirius and a simp petey
prongsyboy sirius doing sirius things 🤣
user552520 dunno bout y'all but i got my confirmation tonight
user073789 YOU WERE SO GOOD OH MY GOD
user843632 i'm so lonely the proposal made me cry
user439546 love me some sappy shit fr
user674848 this was un fucking real no joke
user993455 SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE RUMOURS I'M BEGGING
user200017 learn to read between the lines lol
starmanblack added to their story
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yourusername
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❤ liked by starmanblack, bellatrixieb, cissy_blck and 901,077 others
yourusername date night ⭐
29,208 comments
starmanblack pretty dress
yourusername why thank you
starmanblack my stomach feels funny from all that wine
yourusername my precious toilet 😭
marymacdonald gorgeous!!!
yourusername i was impersonating you
vance_emm AND SHE SAYS SHE HAS NO RIZZ
ev.rosier am i about to get fired?
yourusername of course not, you're my second favourite person
starmanblack i'm first
pandorasbox my friends are all so beautiful 🥺
yourusername us hot people stick together 😌
pandorasbox ONG
user329295 sirius is so lucky
user400128 i've never been more jealous of a man
user006272 IS THIS OUR CONFIRMATION?
user883265 mother is mothering
user306084 THE STAR
user243123 if this is another sike istg
user727211 I THINK IT'S NOT A DRILL ANYMORE
user492932 Y/N WE JUST NEED A SIMPLE YES OR NO DON'T DO THIS TO US
starmanblack
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❤ liked by mmmckinnon, ev.rosier, casmeadowes and 916,222 others
starmanblack platonic snog
36,775 comments
yourusername people just don't appreciate friendships nowadays 🙄
starmanblack it's just so so sad 😣
yourusername i have better photos of us 👹
starmanblack strongly disagree
yourusername you don't wanna make this a competition
marymacdonald my mum said friends don't do that
starmanblack mama macdonald may be onto something
r.a.black affection 🤮
starmanblack i thought you unfollowed me?
r.a.black i did but i like lurking around here
starmanblack fan behaviour
rjlupin best friend things
prongsyboy HEY I'M HIS BEST FRIEND
rjlupin you were supposed to play along
user020226 MOTHER OF GOD IS THIS REAL
user366232 HDJQJDJQDJQ MY DELUSIONS WEREN'T DELUSIONS
user500447 you still need therapy
user432777 AIN'T NO WAY
user718710 I DIED DEAD.
user907015 GADHQHDQUDJQXJQDJQ I CAN'T FUCKING CATCH MY BREATH
user138282 are you still alive?
user907015 NO
user882446 this and platonic don't go together sirius 🙄
yourusername
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❤ liked by walburgablack, cissy_blck, bellatrixieb and 933,052
yourusername pda is afraid of him
39,457 comments
starmanblack FINE you have better photos
yourusername see? that wasn't so hard to admit!
starmanblack i actually won in life
yourusername damn right you did
starmanblack celeb_gossip losing their minds rn
yourusername the kettle is B R E W I N G 🥵🫖🤩👀😳☕😝😻
bartyyy I KNEW BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE HAHA
yourusername well you're the favourite child...
lily_evans kinda illegal how you're both so hot
casmeadowes i've been saying!!!
cissy_blck REG'S SISTER IN LAW 😭
bellatrixieb he's one lucky man
r.a.black lucky isn't exactly the right word but okay
user737729 OH MY FUCKING SHIT
user632444 MY ACTUAL PARENTS
user536272 NOT ME NOT BEING DELULU
user292920 swifities can't relate
user155161 WALBURGA LIKED THIS HELP ME
user993929 narcissa is so real LMFAOOO
user032386 THAT SHOULD BE ME (idk which person i want to be more)
starmanblack added to their story
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yourusername
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❤ liked by cissy_blck, luciussy, bartyyy and 942,773 others
yourusername happy birthday to this idiot who i unfortunately love very much 💕
tagged starmanblack
30,033 comments
starmanblack tragic how i love you back
yourusername absolutely
starmanblack rizz god since 12
yourusername are you still 12?
lily_evans got me tearing up over here
yourusername awwww 🥺
rjlupin you should have used that one photo where he was on the potty
starmanblack WHY ARE YOU LETTING THEM KNOW THAT EXISTS?
rjlupin denying it would have worked yk
casmeadowes i woke up to this 💀
starmanblack good
mmmckinnon mondays.
user939355 THE CAT
user019661 i'm making this my profile picture
user763772 tell him i said happy birthday
user195666 imagine having someone say they love you so publicly ha ha ha ha ha
user244488 fuck being single fr
user328911 NO BUT THIS IS KINDA CUTE 😭
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402 notes · View notes
highpri3stess · 7 days
Text
"Why are we hating on JJK writers and fans."
Okay, as a JJK fan, let's list everything that has happened for the past three months. Take a seat and drink water. You're gonna need it. And since you people always think I'm angry, imagine me saying this with the most deadpan tone in the world. I am not angry posting this. I am jaded.
Majority of you are racist. Don't boo me you know it's the truth. Just look at how you guys wanted me to deactivate or tried to gaslight me because I said your fave is supporting a pedo. In FACT. It was a JJK writer who sent my post to that lady who opened me up to a lot of racial abuse from JJK fans. Edit; oh and she didn't apologize for doing that to me btw. I won't expose her though.
And doubling down on the racism, you people do not respect black women in your fandom. Like it is VERY bad. My jjk moots since 2021 up until now still get racial slurs hurled at them because they exist in a space that does not care or defend them. And you see your black moots get racist comments but you want to go "no discourse". I get it. You are a pussy. But to that extent? If you're above 20 and you're still scared of talking about racism in your community or standing up for black writers I am ashamed for you and I am shaming you.
I didn't even see any of you talk about noury on here. Especially ms "I will use the palestinian genocide to hide from criticism." I genuinely hope you at least donated something to her or spoke about her on your other platforms.
The way you guys excuse anything as long as the person is your friend. Because tell me why you people were jumping on Ezra's and Tee's dick, especially after what they both did. Or trying to discredit his racism. Be for real.
The way some of you come for other fandoms. JJK girls, especially that one that deactivated came around to drag aot writers because they said they are "niggerfying" the characters. You go to tr writers and start sending hate, chasing them out. Hell, there are cliques of JJK writers and fans alike on this site. You guys are fucking elitist. You don't like any other person apart from yourselves and it shows. The way you come for how people write x reader "why is she so ghetto". It is ALWAYS you people. Always.
SatoSugu fans are slowly becoming extremely misogynistic. I'd expect that behaviour from dudebros but the moment a girl says they like either of them, they come out of the woodworks. Also, let people ship crack ships in peace. I've been a satosugu girlie long before the season 2 came out and I miss when we were a lot quieter. NanaGo girlies were chill. Can't you copy them at least?
Now moving on to less pending reasons:
I've said this before and I'll say this again, stop tagging "he spat in your mouth and came" or nsfw links with x reader and about 30 plus characters. I get it, we're all burnt out. But even in my busiest of days in university I have NEVER posted that kind of shit. I take my time because writing is a skill and an art. This is not fast fashion.
And stop rewarding anyone who does that. Why are they having 1k notes in 6 hours? What the fuck is up with that?
Do better writing Gojo and hell the entire cast. I get it. Every character has a stereotype attached to them. But come on, 800 words and STILL it is a copy and paste of every other fic? I have to check twice if it is the same author and it's not. It's like every naruto oc fic written in 2016. Same face syndrome but in fic writing.
Writers are getting burned out cause you guys want the same thing over and over again. I hope salt is not the only spice you use because sending hate anons to JJK writers who write outside daddy doms and playboy Gojo is giving that energy. Be for real. These people are giving quality fics, stop chasing them away.
These are my few gripes with you all, because one day is not enough to list every issue I have. If the shoe fits and you rant in my inbox, that's on you. I did tell you to take a seat, drink water and read this in the calmest voice as possible.
38 notes · View notes
euphoniumpets · 11 months
Text
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM | CHAPTER SEVEN
Prompt: ''As long as I can rememer, I've been protecting Alina, it's always Alina who I will protect,'' You told him, looking at Nikolai. ''But who will protect you?''
Warnings: Violence, blood and gore.
Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. 
Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! Reader
Taglist: @lyria-skyfall@khaleesihavilliard@shine101 @waddlingwanderer @clqudias @ducks118 @xceafh@peakyispunk @wilmasvensson @parbatai-winchester @priincehoseok@riot-in-my-soulsoul @feyredarling92 @vendy021 @ssprayberrythings @goldenpoison @shine101 @lili-of-the-dream @xushisuxi @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @jennylil @themermaidscales82
Tag list are closed!
A/N: we've come to a conclusion or a thought where I decide to write smut further in the chapters but i need y'all votes because i'm hesitant if you guys want smut further in the chapters lmao. and again, this is a long chapter because i got carried away.
old masterlist | navi | new masterlist
prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - epilogue
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You hated it. 
Oh, so you desperately hated it. 
You could feel every person in the room giving you looks and you didn’t know if it was a good one or a bad one. ‘’Why must you always play the diplomat, Nikolai?’’ You heard Vasily's question at the table. ‘’A shu and Grisha dining beside true Ravkan soldiers is a bit much for all our stomachs,’’ Vasily remarked. 
‘’We’re all Ravkan here,’’ You sneered and tried to be calm. ‘’Doesn’t need to be us versus them,’’ Nikolai replied and looked at his brother. ‘’Kirigian should’ve thought of that,’’ Vasily replied with his drink in hand. ‘’Before he tried to murder my father and stage a coup, that said: absent they're Darkling the Grisha are rather easy to manage,’’
‘’By manage do you mean execute: Moi tsarevich?’’ You asked boldly and turned your head to face him. ‘’That fate is reserved for traitors to the Crown, Miss Starkov,’’ 
‘’If the second Army requires a leader loyal to the Crown to assure their fealty, my sister will lead them,’’ You remarked. You looked at Vasily as he let out a laugh. ‘’Why should I believe you and your sister that you have any loyalty to my family?’’ He asked. You paused before your eyes trailed to Nikolai. 
He met your gaze before standing up from his chair and raising a glass to get the people’s attention. ‘’Today marks the start of a new era of cooperation between Lantsov and Grisha, I’m delighted to announce my engagement to Y/N Starkov, the sister of the Sun Summoner,’’ Nikolai presented. ‘’And with her sister being the Sun Summoner, she will be the new leader of the Second Army, together we'll build a better future for Ravka,’’ 
You locked your gaze with Mal and Alina not from far away and saw their surprised gazes. They never thought that you would agree on the marriage but yet here you were. For Ravka. 
‘’That was a bit much,’’ You responded after everybody had cheered and Nikolai had sat down. 
‘’Understatement is overrated,’’ He replied as you took a sip from your drink. 
-
Alina had left with Tamar and Nadia to go and do some training. They offered to come with but you declined and told them to do some studying of the Firebird. You hoped some of the history books had the answers since you knew that Alina had to kill you to get the third amplifier. You knew that she wasn’t going to do it, but if it was your only plan, you knew that you had to do it on your own. 
You heard fast footsteps approaching you in the library. You turned around with a frown and saw Adrik approaching you. ‘’I know, not to be disturbed, but they need you in the war room,’’ Adrik informed and you nodded. You placed the books down and followed after him. 
You stopped in your tracks when you noticed David standing with Tolya, Nikolai, Alina, Mal, Tamar, and Adrik when you recognized David. David flickered his eyes when he saw you and waved with the other hand and you noticed that his hands were tied. ‘’Oh, so you know him,’’ Nikolai replied when he noticed your gaze. ‘’He claims to have escaped from a very alive General Kirigian,’’ Nikolai revealed and approached you. You looked at Alina with a concerned gaze. ‘’He gave himself up without a struggle, we found this on him,’’ Nikolai said and handed you over the journal. ‘’He says it’s one of Morozova’s journals,’’ You grabbed the journal as Nikolai turned to face David. 
‘’I, for one, am dying to know more, but he insisted to speak with you and Alina,’’ Nikolai said. 
‘’Y/N…’’ David began to say and step forward before Tolya stopped him before he could go further. ‘’I know I wronged both of you, please I regret my role in that, I know you have a reason to distrust me, but I have no loyalty to General Kirigian,’’ David spoke. 
‘’He survived the Volcra?’’ Alina questioned him. ‘’I’m afraid so,’’ David revealed. ‘’He also knows that you both are in East Ravka,’’ David informed and you could feel your heart growing faster. You didn’t know if he found out that you were the Firebird but if he did he could find you here, you didn’t know if you were safe. ‘’Tell us where he is,’’ You demanded David. 
‘’No, no, no,’’ David replied and you narrowed your eyes. ‘’That would be a very bad idea-’’
‘’You can’t expect us to trust you unless you share information,’’ You snapped. ‘’Confronting him would be suicide,’’ David replied. ‘’Kirigian used Merzost to create something in the Fold, creatures that do his bidding the size of two men, formed of pure shadow,’’ He informed as your blood ran cold. ‘’They have no breath to take, no heart to stop, no blood to drain, yet, they live,’’ David explained. 
‘’They live and they kill,’’ 
‘’They are nichevo’ya: nothing: bullets, blades, fire, all simply pass through and they walk freely in sunlight, I fear that merzost may be the only way to kill them,’’ You looked at David and could see that he was terrified. Nikolai glanced at you and he could see the fear you formed in your eyes. ‘’So, how did you manage to get away?’’ Mal questioned. 
‘’Genya,’’ You snapped your thoughts away at the mention of Genya. ‘’We tried to escape together but the nichevo’ya,’’ David informed. ‘’She sacrificed herself to get me out,’’ A sadness washed over you for your friend. You knew how much Genya liked David back then at the Little Palace and you begged the saints that she was still alive. 
‘’I don’t know if she survived,’’
‘’A smart spy will always play the victim,’’ Tolya spoke and narrowed his eyes. ‘’No, no,’’ David protested and shook his head. ‘’You make a valid point, Tolya,’’ Nikolai responded before he turned to Alina. ‘’As a leader of the second army, this is your call,’’ Nikolai said. Alina looked at Nadia and gestured to come closer next to her. ‘’You’ve known David the longest, what do you think?’’
‘’Kirigian always kept him close,’’ Nadia spoke. Alina looked at you before her eyes placed on David. ‘’Take him to the holding cell,’’ Alina said as Tolya walked away with David. ‘’We need a moment alone, please,’’ Mal said and looked at Nikolai. 
Nikolai looked at the three of you as you nodded. ‘’Of course,’’ He replied before walking away, leaving the three of you alone. You let out a sigh. ‘’Do you trust him?’’ Mal asked the two of you. 
‘’I don’t know,’’ You answered. ‘’Not entirely,’’ Alina added. ‘’The shadow monsters…’’ Mal trailed off as you thought for a moment. ‘’But why would he lie?’’ You asked them. ‘’Kirigian’s a force to be reckoned with, but if it’s true, I need to hunt the Firebird,’’ Mal responded making you look at him. 
‘’Or I can do something right now, an alternative to boost my power,’’ Alina suggested and you looked at her. ‘’Alternative?’’ You asked. ‘’He created soldiers of shadow,’’ Alina said. ‘’Maybe, maybe I can tear down the Fold by creating soldiers of light,’’ Alina informed. ‘’With what? Merzost?’’ You inquired. ‘’The Darkling messed with it and we got the Fold for 400 years,’’
‘’And now he has monsters who walk with him,’’ Alina argued. ‘’Give me time to track down the Firebird,’’ Mal said which made you sigh. ‘’There’s always a cost to merzost, it’s not worth the risk,’’
-
‘’Hey, you’re coming with us to Ketterdam?’’ You heard Tolya ask you as you approached him, Tolya, and Mal. ‘’You know I can’t, Queen duties,’’ You replied and rolled your eyes. ‘’Not going to lie, we all were surprised that you accepted the proposal,’’ Tamar spoke. ‘’Believe me, we all were,’’ You told her. 
‘’Too bad we can’t be here to see you in the dress that Nikolai had chosen,’’ Tamar replied. 
‘’Perhaps another time,’’ You responded. 
‘’You know it won’t be another time,’’ Tolya teased. ‘’Hey, now that she’s the Queen of Ravka, she’ll have to play dress up,’’ Tamar teased. 
‘’And the Queen of Ravka can hear you,’’ You responded as you gave them a look before you looked at them with a grin. 
 ‘’Be careful,’’ You told them before embracing him.
‘’Don’t worry, we will be back,’’ Tolya assured you and let go of you before walking away. ‘’And, don’t forget the snacks you’ll bring back from Shu Han!’’ You exclaimed. ‘’I can’t promise you anything,'' Tolya responded as you chuckled.
You , Mal, and Tamar said goodbye to each other as you walked back to your chambers to prepare for the ball. ‘’I hate this dress,’’ You murmured as you heard Alina chuckle. ‘’You look pretty, he has good taste,’’ Alina commented as you rolled your eyes and looked down at your dress. Nikolai had placed a dress in your room and it was uncomfortable for your liking. 
You disliked wearing pretty dresses and it was unusual for Alina to see you in one. ‘’How’s that, moy milaya? better?’’ The maid asked as you reached your arms. However, you couldn’t reach it further. ‘’Still can’t move my arms,’’ You replied softly and looked at her with a smile. ‘’I’ll get another corset,’’ She told you as you nodded. 
‘’Ugh, saints,’’ You whined. 
‘’It’s not that bad,’’ Alina replied as you turned around and looked at her and gave her a look. ‘’I can’t even breathe,’’ You complained. ‘’Well, I think you look great in that dress, you certainly look a queen,’’ Alina replied with a chuckle. ‘’Help me?’’ You asked and gestured to your back as Alina approached you. 
You heard the door open and you turned around to see Vasily. ‘’What do you want?’’ You asked. ‘’My my, Y/N, they never taught you manners did you?’’ Vasily remarked as Alina helped you undress behind the dressing room. You and Alina exchanged a look. You grabbed your coat as you stepped outside and looked at him. 
‘’I would prefer you call me Vasily,’’ He responded. ‘’At least when we’re in private,’’ He remarked after he heard you speak in Ravkan. ‘’What can I do for you, Moi Tsarevich?’’ You questioned. ‘’You call my brother by his given name,’’
‘’We met under different circumstances,’’ You explained. ‘’Yes, I’ve heard some find his whole Corsair act rather claiming,’’ He responded with a smirk, and you narrowed your eyes. ‘’If you excuse us-’’
‘’He must realize, no matter his aims, he will always be a second son,’’ He replied, and you looked at him. You felt your anger rise. ‘’Only I can make you a queen,’’ He spoke. ‘’I can assure you I have such no ambition,’’ 
‘’Is that so?’’ He questioned with a smirk. ‘’You’ve made no secret of your opinion on Grisha, why propose an alliance with me?’’ 
‘’I stand by my previous statements, the Ravkan people are fed up with being held hostage by Grisha tyrants, odds are some Grisha are good people, you could help me sort that out,’’ 
‘’Where would you find the time? Rumor has it you find yourself quite preoccupied at Caraveya, between the horse races and the brothels,’’ You replied boldly as you watched him take a step toward you with his jaw clenching. ‘’How many true allies do you have, Miss Starkov?’’ He questioned ‘’Grisha scraps with your sister being the leader of the Second Army, I imagine the Commander of the First would be a good one to keep,’’ He responded and glanced at Alina before looking at you.
‘’You’re a smart girl, consider your options,’’ He replied smugly before grabbing your hand softly and kissing at the top of your palm. ‘’Until then,’’ He spoke before leaving the room. You and Alina exchanged a look before you wiped your hand with disgust written on your face. 
-
You stared at your reflection and looked down at the dress before letting out a scoff. ‘’I take it down that you dislike the dress,’’ You heard Nikolai speak. You glanced up and saw him standing at the door frame with a smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes toward him. ‘’It’s hideous, I prefer wearing a kefta instead,’’ You spoke and turned around to face him. Nikolai chuckled and approached you. 
‘’I figured out that you would say so,’’ Nikolai replied before gesturing to the kefta he brought him with. You looked at him before letting out a grin on your face. You accepted the kefta in his hands before walking to the dressing room. You tried to get the dress off but you couldn’t reach the laces and usually, Alina would help you but she was at the party. ‘’I could use some help to undress, usually, Alina would help me but consider that she isn’t here…’’ You trailed off nervously. 
‘’Of course,’’ Nikolai replied and walked toward you. You looked in the mirror in front of you and saw him standing behind you. Your heart was beating fast when he was close to you and you could feel his fingers through the laces and you felt your cheeks warming up. You scolded yourself in your head when he was the one who made you flustered. 
You felt the laces loosen up as Nikolai met your gaze in the mirror, giving you a small smile before walking out. ‘’Some of the Grisha were kind enough to help and put this together,’’ You heard him speak as you put on the kefta. You smiled and realized that the two of you were matching before walking out. You saw Nikolai look at you with adoration in his expression while you gave a little twirl. 
‘’Well?’’ You asked. ‘’I would prefer to see you in one of the keftas instead of the pretty dresses,’’ Nikolai replied with a chuckle. ‘’I think I have just the flourish to complete the look,’’ He told you and approached you closer. ‘’Consider this as a gift,’’
You watched him grab something out of his pocket. You looked down and saw the Lantsov ring in his hand. ‘’The Lantsov Emerald,’’ You spoke and looked down. ‘’Understatement is overrated,’’ You quoted with a small smile. ‘’I love it when you quote me,’’ You just shook your head with a smile in response. 
‘’Console yourself knowing that, should you ever punch me while wearing it, you’ll probably take my eye out, and I’d very much like you to,’’ You looked at him. ‘’Wear it, that’s it, not punch me,’’ He explained as the two of you chuckled. ‘’May I?’’ He asked and you nodded. You reached your hand out and felt him grab your hand softly before placing the ringer on. ‘’I must say, this is the longest conversation we have had instead of ripping each other head’s off,’’ You spoke as you heard him laugh softly. 
‘’Indeed,’’ He spoke as the two of you walked out of the room. ‘’Your mother will not be pleased you gave this to a commoner,’’ You remarked as you stepped down the stairs. ‘’If my mother was as put off by commoners as she claims, I wouldn’t be here, now would I?’’ Nikolai retorted, making you stop. ‘’If you lead a country, you must get better at hiding what you’re thinking,’’ Nikolai spoke. 
‘’I wasn’t sure,’’ You replied as you followed after him. ‘’I heard the whispers since I was a child,’’ He replied. ‘’I’ll deny it if you repeat it, but the truth is, I couldn’t care less if I have Lantsov blood, given all the royal inbreeding, I think the bastard is probably a point in my favor,’’
‘’It’s nice when you drop the act when you’re just yourself,’’ You remarked. ‘’Was that a compliment?’’ He asked with a smirk and you just rolled your eyes. ‘’Besides, I am a prince, Y/N,’’ He remarked. ‘’Being myself is a luxury I can’t often indulge in,’’ He answered.
‘’The throne is just a prize to Vasily, like some favorite toy,’’ You replied softly before turning to face him. ‘’You, however, care about Ravka,’’ You told him, making him smile. ‘’You’d make a good king,’’ You replied. ‘’Coming from you, it means a lot,’’ He murmured and you looked into his eyes. You could see the adoration in his eyes and it made you realize that you’d fallen for him. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with him considering the circumstances and you tried hard not to, knowing that your plan would involve sacrificing yourself for Alina. Nikolai met your eyes as he saw sadness flashing through your eyes before changing them. 
You hesitantly reached for his hands and he noticed the hesitation on your face before accepting it. Your heart was beating harder when you felt his touch and it was soft-spoken. ‘’You’re going to be insufferable now, aren’t you?’’ You remarked. Nikolai let out a laugh at the comment you made. 
The laugh, you thought for yourself. You stared at Nikolai with an unreadable expression on your face. It was the kind of laugh that you would bottle up and get drunk on the darkest nights. ‘’I’m already insufferable, love,’’ Nikolai retorted with a grin on his face. You chuckled as you felt him squeeze your hand before walking out to the room. 
You heard the classical music playing in the background while the massive crowd around you was chatting and drinking. ‘’I was not expecting this,’’ Nikolai murmured with the same surprise on his face. You looked around and tried to see Alina and Mal. ‘’Where’s Mal and Alina?’’ You asked him with concern. ‘’I know my company doesn’t account for much, but at least pretend to enjoy yourself,’’ Nikolai spoke. 
You gave him a look before scanning the room. ‘’I don’t see them,’’ You began to grow worried and Nikolai sensed it. ‘’Listen, I can assure you that the two of them are fine, maybe the two lovebirds are in a private room and doing saints know what,’’ You wrinkled your face in disgust before looking at him with a deadpanned expression. ‘’I did not want to hear that,’’ You muttered. ‘’After all, that gelatin deer gave its life for your entertainment,’’ Nikolai spoke and leaned to your ear. You turned your gaze and realized that he was so close to your lips and you yanked your head away from him. 
Nikolai smirked at your reaction. ‘’It’s not just like them, you know,’’ You murmured. ‘’They would be here with me, and well, watching us while teasing,’’ You remarked. ‘’You can’t fault them for being a little late,’’ Nikolai responded and looked at you. ‘’You can’t be worried about Alina and Mal, they can take care of themselves, you know?’’ Nikolai said and you sighed. ‘’I know, I’m just worried,’’ 
‘’Perhaps your loyal Sun Summoner and tracker don’t share your enthusiasm for your festivities,’’ You heard Vasily’s voice speak from behind you as you and Nikolai exchanged a look. ‘’If you excuse me, Moi Tsarevich,’’ You spoke as Nikolai nodded at you before you walked away. You sighed with frustration and walked around in the crowd trying to find Alina. However, you spotted Tamar speaking with Nadia. ‘’I guess I owe you the money,’’ You heard Tamar speak when she saw you approaching them. 
‘’What?’’ You questioned her. 
‘’We were all betting if you would choose the dress,’’ Nadia explained. ‘’Well, I guess you were wrong then,’’ You spoke and looked at Tamar. ‘’Have you seen Alina and Mal?’’ You asked Tamar with concern as Nadia went back for more champagne. ‘’Well-’’ 
‘’Y/N, have you seen Mal?’’ Alina interrupted you as you turned around. ‘’Saints, Alina, I was looking for you and Mal,’’ You replied before embracing her tightly. ‘’He’s probably late, you know,’’ Tamar spoke as she tried to assure you. You could feel that something was wrong but you tried to ignore the feeling. 
Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Vasily speak. ‘’A toast!’’ You and Alina exchanged a look. ‘’I’d like to share some words about my brother, Nikolai,’’ Vasily spoke and pointed toward Nikolai. You narrowed your eyes. ‘’Yes, yes, we all know he’s pretentious,’’ He spoke and chuckled. ‘’Condescending, a man of the people…’’ 
You frowned when you felt a strange feeling. You could feel that something was wrong as you looked up at the ceiling glass with wonder. It was the same feeling that you felt when you and Aleksander had connected for the first time back at the Little Palace, but then you saw it. 
The shadows. ‘’Alina…’’ You spoke, making her turn to face you with confusion, and then, everything happened so fast that you didn’t have the time to react. ‘’Run!’’ You shouted at Alina when the Nichevo'ya appeared. People were screaming, several gunshots were heard and you hid behind a pole. 
You couldn’t think and you were terrified. Terrified of your own life, Nikolai, Mal, and Alina. You gasped when you saw the Nichevo'ya dragged Vasily in the air before tearing him apart. Alina used her magic as she tried to kill them but it was no use. ‘’Somebody, protect the Queen!’’ You heard one of them say. Nadia and Adrik used their powers against the Nichevo'ya and you tried to run toward Alina, however, the Nichevo'ya knocked them away. 
‘’Alina!’’ You shouted with fear and you froze in place when the Nichevo'ya turned to you. You widened your eyes as you felt your blood run cold. ‘’Y/N!’’ Alina shouted and you could see her eyes with terror when she saw the Nichevo'ya was coming for you. You felt strong arms wrapping around your waist, dragging away from Alina as Tamar and the others tried to protect her too. 
‘’Let me go! Alina!’’ You shouted. ‘’Y/N, we need to go, now!’’ Nikolai raised his voice as he tried to drag you away from there. ‘’Find Mal!’’ You tried to shout before you felt him drag you away from Alina.
-
please comment down below what you'd thought of this chapter and remember, reblogging always helps!
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deerspherestudios · 11 months
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How do you organise the process of creating a character? like, to me its too confusing, i dont know what i do first because there are TOO MANY THINGS TO DO, like backstory, personality, looks, what they like, so what would be the “steps” to make them?
(Since @isabellaswork asked the same thing recently I'm tagging you here, hope that's okay!) Omg I'm flattered I'm the person you'd wanna ask such a big question ;v;!!? Honestly the process is different for everyone, but I'll give it a go <3 This is how my process usually goes:
Personality first, backstory later. Flesh out the concept of the character before deciding their origin story if that makes sense.
Build a moodboard for your character! The more ideas the better!
Time for visuals! Sketch out multiple iterations, looking at the moodboard for inspiration. Colors go last.
Finalize! Once you've got your final sketch + colors, draw a proper illustration and see if you vibe with the design. Repeat previous steps if necessary <3
Extra: Since you've got the design and story down, add some fun facts. This is where interests, likes and dislikes go!
I'll use my VN characters as examples below in case someone wants it in more detail! Mychael (Mushroom Oasis) and Alma (Lift Your Spirits spoilers!! + horror imagery) process ideation under cut:
Usually I start with personality first. Because for me, when you first meet someone, you see what they're like in the present; their past doesn't matter as much until you get to know them. I can decide the backstory later so it doesn't limit the personalities I'm playing around with. Of course I must have gotten the idea from somewhere so these two things work in tandem most of the time.
Then it's just a matter of how they look!
After deciding on personality traits, I start by collecting references from everywhere, even the smallest of things. I think of how I want them to look plus how they would dress. Anything goes at this stage, so just go buck-wild gathering ideas!
Here's a moodboard for Mychael:
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This one was for Alma, from their normal self to their monstrous self:
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Then it's time for drawing and doodles. As I sketch, I look back at the moodboard I've made and pick out things I like, while drawing things really loose. Copy paste if I need to!
I've shared the ones for Mychael here, here and here! Here's some sketches for Alma from last year:
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This part takes the longest but is always the most fun! Don't feel limited by what you had initially, just test out ideas! Here are the final designs!
Mychael(s):
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Alma(s):
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Then once I'm happy with the design I can flesh out the backstory as much as I like!!! so long as it fits the presentation of the character in current time. Of course this process can differ when you already have a story in mind and need characters to carry out the plot, but I'm definitely not big-brain enough to make an all-out story like that </3 I just enjoy designing characters visually haha
Oh and just for fun, I like to sprinkle in some extra (but kinda unnecessary) background info. It can be the most mundane thing but it gives them more life (to me at least!) Maybe they drink flat orange soda, or enjoy riding trains at night, or hate the smell of french fries, or think apples are disgusting etcetcetc.
Of course there's like, tips for professional character designing like silhouette, shapes, proportions but I assume this ask was for a more casual approach <3 That's all I could think of if I were to describe my process,,, I hope that answers your question!
To recap:
Start with personality traits and decide backstory later. Or work them together as one. It's more concept than visuals at this stage.
Assemble a moodboard for inspiration. The more ideas the better! Look up anything that might relate to your character if it helps.
Sketch, sketch and sketch again! Keep things loose and free. I usually start from the face, to clothes to accessories. Colors go last.
Finalize! Put everything together in one rendered drawing, and see if you vibe with it. You can always go back to previous steps if you're still not happy with it.
And you're done! :-)
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melancholic-entrails · 9 months
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found this, felt wholesome, was about to reblog then saw the "proship fuck off thanks" so to respect their wishes, i am going to post a copy of their message here, because all of it was great except the end
( really, how do you say "learn to be a decent person" and then next sentence you say "proship fuck off thanks") i cropped out the username cuz i dont want someone to harrass them/anxious ( just in case). i copied and pasted the text to underneath the image!
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[start of text description]
Shoutout to self shippers that don’t like sharing their f/o(s), there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous, sad, possessive, some characters are very special to you personally, or you just feel so deeply and dearly for them, and that’s okay. I get it. Doesn’t matter if the character is extremely popular or completely unknown, you’re valid. Same goes for not wanting to see canon x canon ships with your f/o!
And if you’re only comfortable sharing with certain people that’s cool to!
Self shipping can be an incredibly personal experience, and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it, you’re not inconsiderate or greedy or annoying or anything for being uncomfortable sharing .
Your f/o(s) love you so much, always remember it’s okay to curate your experience selfshipping online, it’s perfectly okay to block tags and or blogs if you need to. Don’t make yourself suffer by continually exposing yourself to discomfort 👍
This post does not apply to you if you actively hate on / send hate / are shitty to other people that do share your f/o(s). Learn to be a decent person.
[end of text description]
i wanted to add on to their point, because everything they said was good, they were just being gatekeepy- which is their perogative, i just think positivity should be for everybody and i would like to make it accessible. op if you see this, please don't reply as a: i'm in your dni and b: i'm posting this for the sole reason of spreading positivity. so yeah, everything op said also counts for proshippers and profic peeps. <3
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lilpixielixie · 2 months
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Delicate | hwang hyunjin x fem! reader
"This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me"
- Delicate, Taylor Swift
Summary: Moving to Seul wasn't something that Selene expected to do, but her broken heart and tired soul were craving for peace. She didn't even think too much about it: she simply saw an opportunity that would let her hide from the media and Hollywood for some time and took it. However, she will have to make a decision by the end of the year and she hopes that, when the time comes, the same world that was hating on her right now would forget everything. Maybe she wasn't meant to be an actress, but she was sure she wasn't meant to be loved. At least, that was what she thought before meeting an idol who wasn't treating her like a broken and pitiful person.
Status: on going (started 08/02/2024)
Genre: actress!reader x idol!hyunjin, SLOW BURN, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut (minors dni)
Warnings: there will be descriptions and heavy talk about mental illnesses (depression mainly), past abusive and toxic relationship (the character is oc and not present in the story), past abusive household, depression recovery, cheating (not between the main couple), hate on the web (idk how to tag this), the not so secret dark side of being a celebrity and I think nothing else...I will add things up if anything else comes into my mind.
General info: I won't be constant with the updates because it's a complex plot and I need time to write it down and I'm a perfectionist. Also, this is just a hobby, unfortunately I need to work irl (being an adult sucks and your girl needs money🥲). Actually, it's been two years since I got this idea and I've been thinking about it everyday since then and finally I decided to write and post it. This fic is settled back in 2021 because it follows skz's career from the end of hyunjin's hiatus to (for now) the release of case 143. For now it will be divided into two seasons: the first one is from their meeting to them becoming friends and the second one will focus on them going from friends to lovers. Even though in the first season they're not a couple, there will be hints to romance. Also, it's necessary for the introduction to the backstory of the reader. As for the reader, I'll make a post with the basic info you need to know before diving into the story. There will be all skz members, some members of enhypen for plot reasons and mentions of other idols.
~ Selene Profile
SEASON ONE🔓
~ Chapter one (08/02/24) ~ Chapter two (14/03/24) ~ Chapter three ~ Chapter four ~ Chapter five ~ Chapter six ~ Chapter seven ~ Chapter eight ~ Chapter nine ~ Chapter ten
more to come!
SEASON TWO🔒
© lilpixielixie all rights reserved | do not copy, repost or translate this fic.
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Text
Rant on Star Wars/Clone Wars/Bad Batch, fanfiction and about writing in general
WARNING: mention of clonecest BUT just me telling my opinion on it and that is all
I may not be very popular with my opinions but here I go...
Okay so a TikTok video started the whole train of though because it pissed me off a little, but maybe I over reacted I will leave you all to it to decide. So the video was made by a girl/woman (I try to be as respectful as I can and not throw shade at anyone in this post I promise), who was reading a Hunter x Reader and it turned out to be X reader with multiple member of the Batch (I can't remember if it included clonecest or not sorry) and she was pissed about it. I mean partially I can understand it is a bit frustrating when fics are not properly tagged (I too try my best to add everything) and she was expecting something else, that I can totally understand. But it happens, you leave the fic and find another.
Then I started to read the comments and it was kind of (again for me) a diseaster. They started to list fanfic and trops they didn't like (which is okay, everyone has their preferences), there were one who really felt "insulted", or I don't know how to put it, by a fic / oneshot that had an OC or reader that have been involved with multiple members of the Batch (I don't know if clonecest was involved or it was just x reader/x OC). And maybe I am the problem but I don't understand. One of the comments was "Why can't they write separated fics for the characters?" or something like that. BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO! Because that's the way they planned their fic/oneshot, that's how they wrote it, that's how they want it to be. They wanted a reader/OC x multiple characters. This is what they wanted to write, people don't need to write differently, different things just because you don't like what they write. Find someone, who writes the things you like, you are comfortable with, it's that easy. I am not comfortable with Haunting Adeline so I don't read it, but I am not throwing rocks to people who do. (My problem with it is that in my country, I can't speak for the other countries, really young girls read it like 14-15 years olds. In my opinion is waaaay too young for that book. But I don't hate on the writer or things like that.)
I will tell you, I am not confortable with clonecest, I don't read it, I don't write it, and that is all I'm going to say on the topic. It's your thing than it is, I don't say I understand (for me our copy paste boys are brothers and that's it, I just can't see clonecest happening), I won't encourage it but I won't start a witch hunt either. I scroll.
YOU DON'T LIKE IT SCROLL PLEASE!!!
Soooooo all in all just let people read, write and draw the things they like and want.
I hope I didn't offend anyone with this whole thing, I tried to be as respectful as I could. If I did, I'm sorry that is my opinion.
IF THE GIRL/WOMAN WHO MADE THE TIKTOK SEES THIS: PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT AS AN ATTACK OR OFFENSE, IT WASN'T AGAINST YOU I SWEAR!
AGAIN I hope I didn't offend anyone.
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suvidrache · 5 months
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Can I have something written about Baraka being protective and also trying to impress the reader?
Impressed
age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.
Word Count: 518 | Read it on AO3
Author's Note: Written from MK 11 and past. I do not write for MK 1.
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Baraka never felt what it was like to be loved. He was always hated on for being a Tarkatan, a bloodthirsty monster. He was treated like he was, and it was just his species. They weren't all like that. It also wasn't something that could be helped. He, like every other creature, needed to eat. He couldn't help that he had to eat meat. He wanted to be, at the very least, respected and treated like everyone else. He was tired of being an outcast and living in a cave with all the other Tarkatans. They had done nothing to deserve such treatment. He was a loyal follower and a great leader to the Tarkatans. He kept all of them in line and proved himself over and over again. Yet, no one seemed to care simply because of his species. They were just trying to live.
When you first wandered into the realm, he paid little attention to you. You would treat him like everyone else. So, why did it matter how he treated you? However, you were kind. You still tried to be nice to him, and he liked that. Maybe he was getting the wrong message, but he couldn't help but love the attention. He made sure to keep you safe. If there was an issue, he was there to help you. If someone was rude or hurt you, he was quick to pay them back by hurting them. He didn't do it in front of you as he didn't want you to see him as a monster or weird. You didn't know what had happened, but you were glad people were leaving you alone. Baraka also changed his attitude and started treating you better. He wasn't going to pursue it any further until he knew for sure if you liked him or not. You would probably be the first to ask him on a date, and he accepted it. Although, he was slightly confused as to what that was and how that went. The Tarkatans were simple creatures, and dating wasn't a thing for them. You would have to help him out along the way, but you didn't mind, and you were happy to teach him the life of the humans. You had thought about taking him to a restaurant and you asked him about it, which he declined. He had been judged all his life. He couldn't sit in a restaurant with humans staring at him and talking about him. He had a thick skin, but the words still hurt all the same. There was only so much that he could take. He never said anything to you, only a simple no on the restaurant and chose something in a public or private setting. Somewhere, humans wouldn't frequent it, and maybe the two of you would be alone. You were alright with that, and you made him something with primarily meat. You weren't sure what he ate, but he told you meat. So, you tried your best to accommodate his appetite. He did try your food, and he didn't think that it was bad.
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© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!
Tag List: @phantomheiko, @sunmoongoddess, @queendeeshorrorimagines / Join my tag list here!
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dominimoonbeam · 7 months
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Holding Out for a Hero - 5
The Dashlin bodyguard au continues!!!
tags: angst, talk of an abusive relationship, divorced darlin, david/asher/darlin
Holding Out for a Hero - 5
David went over the checklist again, making sure he’d packed everything they needed and making sure they had all the equipment he needed on the supplies list. He had never been good at leaving things to other people, unless the other person was Darlin. And tours were big. They were long. There was always something that got forgotten or missed or broke. Darlin knew he liked to have a copy of the lists and the plans just to go over them for himself.
He looked at the duffle bags near the door. His and Asher’s.
It was going to be different having Asher on the tour bus. It was usually just him and Darlin. Milo traveled with an ungodly quantity of clothing and supplies in a second bus. Sweets would be with him this year and that was bound to be hilarious. David half-expected one of them to end up crashing on his bus when they couldn’t stand each other anymore. The question was just how long that would take. A month? A week? A day?
He realized suddenly that Darlin’s bags weren’t there waiting to be tossed into his truck and taken with to the bus.
Darlin had been…weird the last week since the interviews. Distant. He assumed they were just busy. The tour was a lot of planning and they were constantly on the phone with people.
He walked down the hall to their room. He almost grabbed the doorknob and walked in but hesitated. He hadn’t done that since the event—since the photo and the scandal, since the hospital and the divorce.
He knocked.
No answer.
He hesitated again, but only for a second this time before turning the knob and leaning into their bedroom. The bed was made. They weren’t there and there were no packed bags for travel either.
His heart squeezed in his chest. It was five in the morning.
He went to the office and threw the door open. He didn’t realize that he’d expected to find it empty too, until he was staring at Darlin and Darlin was staring back at him, their hands poised over the laptop on the desk in front of them.
“Are you leaving me?” The question jumped straight from his heart and past his lips.
“What?” Darlin almost choked on the question.
It was a weird question. A crazy question. But god, that’s what he was scared of wasn’t it? That’s why he’d been giving them a wide berth all week. Darlin had always been with him, since before the beginning. It had never occurred to him that they might leave him but the idea, the feeling, had snuck into his heart.
He waited and Darlin didn’t answer. They looked away and he felt like they’d pulled the rug right out from under him. He closed the door behind him.
“David…” they started, pushing their chair back and swiveling to face him. They were trying to use their manager tone—the one they used with everyone but him.
“What did I do?”
Their gaze shot up to him, surprise written all over their face. They shook their head. “Nothing. It’s a tour. You don’t need me there. I can handle things from here and Sweets—”
“Why are you doing this?”
They squeezed the armrests. “It would probably be better if I took a less… visual presence.”
“Then cancel the fucking tour,” he ground out.
Darlin frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Then get your shit and let’s go.”
Darlin hesitated right before his eyes and his resolve wavered too.
His gaze flicked to the scar on their lip. Were they finally leaving him because of what had happened? “I can’t… I didn’t protect you.”
They were out of their chair in an instant, eyes huge. “Don’t.”
He winced. “He don’t talk about it.”
“We don’t have to.”
“If you’re leaving me because of it, then we sure as shit have to.”
Darlin winced. “Davey…”
“I knew he was bad. I knew he was hurting you,” David confessed.
Darlin shook their head. “No, you didn’t. You asked. You worried. I lied to you.”
David’s teeth clenched so hard his jaw ached. “I let myself believe those lies. But I’d always hated him and I couldn’t be sure if I was right or if I was just…” The words caught in his throat but he wasn’t going to swallowed it back down this time. “Jealous. I couldn’t be sure if I was being an asshole trying to break you up or if I was right. So, I didn’t say anything.”
Darlin stared at him, nodding slowly. “It wasn’t your responsibility, David. It’s not on you to—”
He flinched, fists balled, because he fucking wanted it to be his responsibility. They hadn’t talked about any of it, ever. Not even when he got the call as their contact person from the hospital. Not when he sat beside their bed or when he finally drove them home. Not any of the days while they were still bruised and patched up. Not during the storm of reports about their supposed affair or the fictional car accident Darlin had been in.
Never.
He thought that was how they wanted it and a part of him had been grateful not to have to talk about how he’d failed them. But if they were going to leave? If it might be because of this?
Darlin’s hand wrapped around his wrist and his fist unballed. They stepped up in front of him, looking him square in the eyes. “None of this shit is your fault. David… I hurt your career. I brought him into our lives and even when I should have known he was bad. I didn’t… I let him stay. And now, if people see you with me, it’s just going to bring that scandal up again.” Their voice strained as they spoke, like they were trying to hide their own hurt from him, but they could feel it in the tremor of their hand on his.
David sighed, turning his hand until he was holding theirs. “It was never my career, Darlin. It was ours. We made it. And if you’re out, then I’m out. If you don’t want to do this anymore—if you don’t want to do the tour—then we won’t.”
Darlin’s mouth twitched like they were about to call him on a bluff, but then it settled as they read his expression. They had always been able to read him, the way he could read them. He wasn’t bluffing.
Finally, they nodded, hand squeezing his. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“We need to stop by my apartment to grab some things.”
David smiled, realizing they were still holding hands but not letting go. “Does this mean we can be seen together too?”
Darlin hesitated another second before nodding, the slightest blush on their cheeks. “Davey?”
“Hm?”
“What were you jealous of?”
He stared at them. He had said he was jealous of Quinn. That he hadn’t been able to tell if he was right or just jealous. He could say he was jealous of their time and attention. It wouldn’t be a lie. “Everything.”
Darlin stared up at him.
The gate buzzer sounded on Darlin’s phone and they jumped apart.
Asher’s door in the hall outside opened and closed, the bodyguard walking down the hall past the door on his way to the living room.
It was time to go.
Darlin cleared their throat. “Milo,” they muttered, looking at their phone and tapping the button to unlock the gate. “We should get going.”
David nodded, trying not to smile at that blush still spreading over Darlin’s face. They started packing up their laptop and he ducked out of the office first.
He found Ash leaning against the kitchen island. “Are we getting coffee on the way?”
David snorted. “You don’t need coffee.” And it was true. He’d noticed that Ash liked coffee just fine, but he wasn’t the sort of person who needed a cup first thing in the morning. As far as he could tell, Asher woke up with a smile.
The bodyguard smiled. “Yeah, but you do.”
-
David smiled back and Asher thought maybe he didn’t need coffee this morning. He looked pretty good for five in the morning.
And then Darlin came out with their bag over their shoulder and Asher knew he’d missed something. But they were both smiling and Darlin mumbled something about stopping by their apartment to pick up their bags, so they were coming.
Maybe that was what they’d talked about? Thank god.
When Milo flung the door open the day really kicked off. They loaded the truck and piled in, first going to Darlin’s and then to the tour bus. It was huge and surprisingly comfy inside. Asher noted the bunk beds with privacy curtains and the one little bathroom and shower at the back. The front had a kitchenette, a mounted tv, and couch seating.
Asher hung back while David and Darlin got settled in, now talking to Milo and Sweets. Asher introduced himself to the driver, getting to know the guy and checking out his cab on the front of this beast. He basically had his own apartment up there. They exchanged phone numbers just in case there were any problems.
“You’re really Shaw’s bodyguard?” the guy asked, skeptical.
Asher grinned. “I am.”
The driver tried not to smile but it was breaking through. “You’re like half his size, aren’t ya?”
“I wouldn’t say I was half…” Milo and Sweets were leaving the bus, heading over to their own.
“Sorry kid,” the driver said. “It’s just… he looks more like he’s your guard than the other way around.”
Asher smiled, heading toward the door. “Well, which would you rather have guarding you? A Lab or a Pitbull?”
The driver laughed hard, nodding and climbing back up into his cab.
Asher was about to step up onto the bus when he found David standing there, arms folded and eyebrow raised.
“I am not a Labrador.”
Asher grinned. He grabbed the doorway and put his sneaker right between David’s boots, pulling himself up and right into the bigger man’s space. David didn’t immediately back up, because it wasn’t in his nature to back up. He had never expected Asher to try to get into his space to begin with. His eyes flared wide, Asher’s face right in front of his and his leg between David’s. Their jean-clad thighs touched, a centimeter away from Asher pushing his hip right up against David’s crotch.
David could either shove him out the door and onto his back on the concrete, step back and let him in, or…
David exhaled and it shuddered, his eyes flaring wider when he too heard it.
Asher parted his lips when he felt the other man’s breath on his skin.
David jerked back, bumping into a wall and swearing. Darlin looked up from down the long aisle of the bus, a question in their eyes.
Asher smiled and followed the now angry singer onto the bus, the door whooshing shut behind him and locking. “Definitely a Lab… But don’t worry, big guy,” Asher couldn’t resist, patting his shoulder. “I’ll protect you.”
David sputtered.
“Oh! A coffee machine!” Asher pointed out, wiggling around David to get to the kitchenette. He flipped open cupboard doors. “Oh shit! We’re stocked! Darlin, you want some coffee?”
Darlin made a grateful sound that always made Asher twitch a little. There was something husky about it that he refused to think too much about, or imagine, but also suspected was why he loved asking Darlin if they wanted coffee…
David grumbled and threw himself down on the couch just as the bus started to move. “It’s going to be a long fucking trip…”
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