#i need that ipad so badly because i would like to be able to draw digitally without it misreading half my movements | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

legionofpotatoes · 3 years

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I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok

Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:

So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.

So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.

In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.

And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.

So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:

1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...

2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!

3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...

4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...

5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.

I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.

#anon #asks #long post #sorry I cant actually condense ideas better :(

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sapphonics · 3 years

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sorry for triple posting but i truly need to buy an ipad for art. i have used the same tablet for 10+ years now and YES it still works and YES i was waiting until it fully broke to upgrade, but the computer i draw on is just. so old. and the thought of being able to draw while in bed is like. insane. sketchbook art hasn’tbeen hitting because my favourite part are the Colours. but also it’s so expensive and i also really badly need a phone (it’s the only one i’ve ever bought, i’ve had it like. seven years?) and i feel like there’s no way i can buy the ipadbefore the phone but i would want to see both in personbefore i buy them and i CAN’T right now because we are in lockdown for at least another month. so do i click and collect these two important expensive purchases? no.

#like yes i have a job etc but my job is so money and savings focused and so is my personality that i feel like i will literally be like #making a terrible decision if i use my money for this #instead of saving #but also it's like i don't have much money so maybe it doens't matter cause i'm already so further away financially from my coworkers #but then maybe it DOES matter more because if i dont make an effort ill never get there

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neotericbitch · 4 years

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this was a start of something that then got derailed and i abruptly stopped. but what a waste of words if i don’t share it, you know??

There’s peace to be found in Valkyrie Cain’s house. It’s not immediately obvious, it doesn’t jump out at you, nor does it leave a trail behind to be followed. There’s no map to it, one just...finds it. They carve it out for themselves, or it comes to them. There’s the definite impression that the house doesn’t hand out its peace to just anyone who walks these halls; the peace is earned, and that’s what makes it special, makes it an extra peaceful sort of peace, the peacefullest peace, and now the word peace feels weird so Omen sits for a second thinking of a substitute.

Calm. Yes, it’s calm here, and he appreciates it all the more these days.

Omen sits up straight and cranes his neck from side to side, links his fingers together and stretches his arms up high above his head. Something in his left shoulder cracks and he has a moment of mild panic, and he reaches behind his back and pats for injuries, feeling nothing but his own hand inelegantly pawing around. Omen places his hands on his knees and looks down at the coffee table in front of him.

It’s more paper than table, really; nothing more than the vague idea of a structure, something holding all this mess up off the ground. The surface is completely covered by an array of spread-out old newspapers, held down to the edges with some strips of clear tape. There are two chopping boards over here on Omen’s side of the table, one wooden and one acrylic, the latter serving as the designated space for putting his failed scraps of paper, the former he uses as a base for his homework – because of course he forgot his own board back at Corrival, like an idiot.

No, Omen, not like an idiot, he tells himself. Like a forgetful teenager, which he is allowed to be. Yes.

Although Omen doesn’t know anything about paper quality, he thinks this cardstock is pretty alright – much better than the printer paper that occupies the other side of the coffee table, at least. The card puts up a good fight against his carving knife, which needs to be sharpened and more resembles an implement for spreading butter at the present time, but Omen thinks this is good for the time being. All his cuts are slowly and carefully made, kind of janky where the blade gets caught but probably better than what he’d manage with fast slashes. Those can get...pretty bad.

Another positive thing about his crappy carving knife is that he feels better using it around Alice than he would a sharp one. Not that he’d ever leave it where she could get it, not that he’d ever let her have a close look, not that he’d ever not practise expert knife safety – but, y’know. One of those things.

He jabbed his index finger about forty-five minutes ago and was so relieved when there wasn’t any blood.

As he hunkers over to get back into it, it’s Alice’s turn to straighten up. She puts down the colouring pencils she’s been dual-wielding and shuffles over to the couch – she’s been sitting on the floor, leaving an iPad of indeterminate owner to sit next to Omen, which Alice takes now and fiddles with until the Frozen 2 soundtrack stops playing. There’s the metal tinkling of a dog collar as Xena lifts her head, looking to see what Alice is doing from where she’s laid herself halfway underneath the table. Early Taylor Swift starts playing and Alice returns to her space at the table.

Xena settles and lets out a big sigh, not her first one for the day, and Omen again wonders for how long could dogs do that and how had he not known, why had no one told him, and what does it mean? Do dogs sigh for the same reasons as people?

He puts this piece of card over on the failure board and gets another, swapping his knife back for a pencil. It’s a yellow one from Alice’s collection that she’s allowed him to borrow, citing it as being too bright, and he uses it now to draw out the same sigil design for, what, the millionth time? This part is easy, it’s been easy for the whole set he’s been working on up until now. Omen can draw the sigils like the best of them – though not really, he has to remind himself to keep from getting a big head – but the drawing isn’t the purpose of the exercise, it’s the carving. He’s still thankful that he’s allowed to trace the way he has been doing, even if it really doesn’t feel like it’s been helping him any.

Alice taps him on the arm twice after he’s finished drawing, immediately withdrawing back into her own space and gathering her hands in her lap. She’s been quiet today. Omen hasn’t known what to do except occasionally look over at her and feel bad, not having a clue on how to comfort little kids – or okay, maybe not comfort, but, reassure? Something like that. Anyway, he almost fully turns to her now, making his eyes wide in the belief that it’ll come across as super accommodating and non-threatening.

“Hey,” says Omen awkwardly. “What’s up?”

She points across the table, to the scraps on the acrylic board. “Can I colour those?”

“Oh! Yeah, sure, let me just–” Omen gathers the scraps up into his hands and sets them down with Alice’s printer paper. “There.”

She examines the little cardstock squares. There’s dozens upon dozens, many test runs and failures from his work over the day. Omen looks at the stack of completed carvings he set at the top corner of the wooden board and sags at how few there are. So much waste for so little work. But Alice doesn’t seem to think of it as waste at all, not as she looks through them and sticks her little fingers through some of the cuts in the paper.

“Are you making snails?”

Omen blinks rapidly as he tries to process this – kids are on a different level. He looks down at the collection of half-carved sigil drawings and attempts to find something snail-like about them. One of the designs is heavily reliant on spirals. Is it the spirals? It could be the spirals.

“Uh, no,” he says. “They’re like,” he pauses to think, “kind of like letters? It’s for one of my classes.”

“What language is it?” asks Alice, setting to work filling between the lines of one of the sigils with a nice powdery blue. She sounds brighter already, at the very least more eager to talk – not looking at Omen probably makes it easier. “Is it a magic language?”

“I don’t know,” he badly lies.

“Oh.”

Silence passes, and Omen shivers at a nonexistent breeze. “It’s like a code,” he offers.

“Oh,” Alice says again, though in a completely different way. She finishes with the powdery blue and starts filling in gaps with a pale green. She nods at the card in a most knowledgeable manner as she reveals, “I know about codes.”

It must be a good thing that she’s talking to him now, right? She’d been looking distracted today, focused elsewhere, on something beyond her own drawings. Maybe nothing at all. And that had worried Omen a bit. Like, Omen likes Alice, she’s a good kid, he doesn’t want her to be sad or anything. He’d have struck up a conversation with her to see if it would help, it’s just that he doesn’t know how to be friends with a kid. What’s even a good thing to say to a kid? Valkyrie’s rule – magic is okay to mention, but not demonstrate – stresses Omen out enough. He worries he’ll say or do the wrong thing and ruin Alice forever. More than he already has.

“What codes do you know about?” asks Omen.

Alice lifts her head and taps her chin for a moment, then shrugs and goes back to colouring in another sigil. “My dad can speak pig latin, he’s really good at it. That means I must be good at it, too.” She meets his eye, looking a little chuffed. “I’m good at lots of things.”

“I bet!” Oh god that sounded so fake.

But Alice beams, and Omen breathes a sigh of relief. Perhaps that’s the trick he’s gotta use – kids respond well to exaggeration, don’t they?

Alice goes on, “I’m going to be so good at whatever I want when I’m a grown-up. That’s what Stephanie says.”

“She’s right! You’ll be great, whatever you do!” Okay now this is a bit much. Omen sucks in a breath and tries to tone it down, tilting his head at the girl. “What, er. What do you want to do, Alice?” Because that’s something you ask kids, yeah? He gets asked it all the time.

...he used to. He used to get asked it all the time. No one asks him much of anything anymore.

“I want to do magic,” admits Alice a bit shyly, and Omen realises this is like a big moment for her and he shouldn’t get so caught up in his moping. “I think about it loads, and I know exactly what I’ll do! I’ll have a big wand with a star on top, and I’ll have fairy wings and definitely be able to fly, and when I wave my wand at someone they have to do what I say.” She turns one of her pencils in her hand, trying to find a good spell-casting position, miming fancy flourishes. “I’ll make shooting stars with my hands, and people can wish on them but I’m in charge of what wishes actually happen.”

He nods along dumbly. “Rad.”

Alice feels the same way. She climbs up to her feet. “I’ll show you. I’ll do like this.” She waves the pencil at Xena, who lifts her head, ears pricked and tail starting to wag. “Xena,” Alice says. “Stand up.”

The dog obeys, fully coming out from under the table. She looks between Alice and Omen expectantly, like playtime is about to begin – which Omen dreads. But when Alice tells Xena to sit again, she does, and now they’re cycling through all sorts of tricks. Roll over, shake hands. The whole arsenal. It’s very impressive, but Alice grows bored with the demonstration soon enough and wants to keep colouring. She retakes her place on the floor, only now with Xena lying beside her with her head on her leg.

Omen clicks his tongue against his teeth and looks towards the entryway to the living room. He puts his hands back on his knees and rocks himself into a stand.

“I think I’m gonna go look for your sister,” he tells Alice. “Are you okay staying here?”

“Yes,” replies Alice mindlessly, before snapping her head up at him. Panic swims in her eyes. “You’re not going to tell on me, are you?”

Omen balks. “Tell on you for what?”

“Doing magic,” she cries. “I want to wait until I’m really good before showing Stephanie.” She points her pencil at him with utmost seriousness. “Don’t tell Stephanie!” Alice commands.

He raises his hands defensively, eyebrows shot up as far as they can go. “Hey, it’s cool. I won’t.”

“You better not!”

“I won’t, Alice, I said it’s cool!”

She seems satisfied with this, and returns to drawing little stars around one of his sigils. Xena doesn’t lift her head, but she looks at Omen with her dog eyes, with a very...doggish look. You know how sometimes a dog’ll look at you and you know they’re thinking something? Omen feels like he’s been looked at that way by many a dog. He offers his hands to Xena, speaking quietly, almost as if he’s afraid of addressing her. Not in a scared-of-dogs sort of way, more in a scared-of-librarians way, but now that Omen is thinking about it he figures dogs are kind of like librarians. A silent authority.

“You stay there,” he says. “Good girl. I’ll be right back.”

“She only listens to me,” Alice claims without looking up.

Omen doesn’t know what to say to this, so he just turns and heads out of the living room.

The strange, special peace of Valkyrie Cain’s house slowly returns to him as he makes his way through it. It’s not quite an exploration, as he’s been here before and has a general idea of what goes where, but it’s definitely not a search either, he moves much too unhurriedly. He thinks maybe he shouldn’t, maybe he should hurry. Maybe the reason why Valkyrie’s been gone for so long is that something terrible happened, there’s some monster or serial killer loose in the house–

Omen takes in a deep breath and squares his shoulders. There is not a monster or serial killer loose in the house, he very calmly tells himself. Something terrible has not happened. Valkyrie has been gone only twenty minutes. Maybe she’s in the toilet. Omen pulls a face at the thought; in the toilet for twenty minutes, you fool? You think Valkyrie Cain gets constipated? You think she wouldn’t have that worked out? Flustered at his own line of thinking, Omen needs to rapidly decide what she’s been up to. Valkyrie’s been– she’s been... He catches his reflection in a mirror, and the peace has fully evaporated once more.

“Avoiding you, probably,” he mutters. “You stupid git.”

She must have only let him hang out here out of pity. She must’ve read his message and scoffed at how pathetic he is. What kind of guy wants to do his homework at barely an acquaintance’s house? What kind of guy can’t handle the school library by himself anymore?

Perhaps because that’s what he is; by himself, most unavoidably. Unwanted wherever he goes, promoted from dumb idiot friend and brother to an even dumber idiot third wheel. A useless lump of a person with no aspirations, all the more useless now that the world is done with his family. What he’d give to be there for his brother in this time, to help him through it – but that spot’s taken for Auger, and resultantly empty for Omen.

He points at himself. “You need to quit whining,” he nearly snaps. “And you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You dumb– fucking…”

Omen has a little sit in the hallway for a few minutes, fists pressed against his mouth as he looks at the weird and wonderful design of the rug. In fact, he can spot a few sigils weaved in there, that’s pretty cool. Did Valkyrie pick out this rug? Was it a gift? It’s in good condition but it’s probably pretty old – the faint smell helps attest to that. Maybe her uncle had more to do with this rug than she did, or maybe it was here way before either of them. Who knows! The mystery of the rug.

Gordon Edgley, Omen assumes, probably loved Valkyrie very much. Certainly enough to leave her this big house and its peace. It would be nice to be loved, to be left something. To have peace. He gets up.

Valkyrie is one floor higher, in a slightly unkempt yet clearly underused office. She stands at the desk, a journal splayed open on its surface as she takes pictures of the pages on her phone, sending them off somewhere. Omen watches her do this for a minute, wondering if he’s become good at sneaking around; thinking perhaps she hasn’t noticed him.

“You right there, Omen,” Valkyrie eventually says without looking up, not asking a question as much as she is crushing his dreams of stealth.

He sags and takes one step into the office, but comes no further than that. “I was just, ah… I just thought– I thought, you’d been gone a little while. Alice might be missing you. Or something.”

Valkyrie stuffs her phone in her back trouser pocket, then immediately takes it out again to check the time on the lock screen before putting it back. “Should get her home before long.”

Omen reverses back into the hallway. “Oh, yeah, um. I’ll leave soon, too.”

She fully turns around, leaning against the desk, and actually, properly looks at him now. Looks and sees, maybe even comprehends. Not likely on that last one, though; no pity has crossed her face yet. “Yeah, if you want. But no rush, Omen, you can chill here as long as you need.”

His first instinct is to argue for something he doesn’t even want. He clasps his hands behind his back instead. “Thanks.”

She folds her arms over her chest and tilts her head to the side. “You sure you’re alright?” He hadn’t said he was. “You seem a bit lost, there.”

“Oh, you know.” Omen fidgets and tries for a joking tone, “Aren’t we all?”

Valkyrie nods sagely, reaching to the desk behind her to close the journal. “Wise words, Darkly.”

Something about this little exchange has made him feel better. Maybe it’s this new, more positive energy that Valkyrie is radiating, how she smiles unbidden at her phone when it buzzes at her for something. Omen almost feels comfortable enough to attempt a more meaningful discussion, but there really is no easy opener for any of what he has on his mind, nor a point to saying any of it aloud. Despite this good mood she’s been in, she probably wouldn’t care in the slightest.

Which is fine, because she is a grown woman with her own life and her own problems, Omen is sure to tell himself.

Valkyrie pockets her phone again and straightens up, exits the office and starts going down the hallway. Omen watches her, and she must hear that he’s not following because she glances back and waves him over.

“Get with the program,” she says sharply, but with good humour. “When I was your age and people started walking away, I knew it was time,” she snaps her fingers, “to get fuckin’ moving.”

“Sorry,” says Omen as he hurries up beside her. “Am I annoying you? I’m probably just getting in your way.”

She looks at him and laughs. “I just asked you to follow me! Relax, Omen, you know I like you.”

“Right, gotcha. Thank you.”

“Some of the time.”

He blinks. Valkyrie nudges him with her elbow.

“More than some of the time,” she says like she’s paying him a compliment.

“Ha,” Omen replies, feeling bolstered but still kind of stumbling on his next words, “I guess there’s times where I can stand you, too.”

Valkyrie’s laugh is a roll of thunder. “You cheeky fucker!”

they were gonna come back to alice and see that she’d started colouring in omen’s proper, completed homework sigils and accidentally activated one (just a little glowy thing, nothing dangerous), and after taking her home valkyrie was gonna ask omen about it and he was gonna tell her about what alice said about doing magic – but then it’d turn out that he literally can’t. when she waves her wand at someone they have to do what she says.

i also wanted to explore valkyrie and omen being friends now that valkyrie’s up for it. she’s taking pictures of werewolf entries in gordon’s books and sending them on to skulduggery, fyi, then smiling when he texts back a joke or some shit. valdug was gonna have a werewolf adventure. and ofc omen dealing with post-prophecy angst.

but alice accidentally doing magic!! HOOH BOYy

maybe i’ll try in comic form.

#no tags we get 3 notes and feel grateful

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onceuponaloonatic · 4 years

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haeun ~ dubchaeng

“woah she’s moving!” kihyun giggled at the feeling of dahyun’s stomach moving.

“yeah she’s been pretty active lately.” dahyun giggled. “just like you were kihyun.”

“woah i was like that?!” kihyun asked with sparkling eyes.

“uh-hum. you were super active, like a puppy.” dahyun giggled at her son.

“oh like ari!” kihyun giggled. “was ari active in his mommy’s tummy?”

“that’s a good question i don’t know.” dahyun laughed. “ari’s mother can’t tell us because she’s a dog.”

“where is ari’s mother?” kihyun asked.

“she has her own owner and her own family, dogs mature faster so they don’t need their mommies for as long.”

“i’m going to need mommy forever!” kihyun giggled.

“that’s right baby.” dahyun pet kihyun’s head.

“dahyun he’s going to need to go out into the world on his own one day.” chaeyoung commented, off to the side sketching something on her ipad.

“but kihyunie is mommy’s baby.”

“you sound like nayeon and it’s terrifying.”

“yeah i heard it.” dahyun sighed. “what am i becoming?”

“i don’t know pregnancy makes you all weird.”

“yeah it does!” kihyun agreed. “mommy has been so weird.”

“hey i don’t appreciate this.” dahyun pouted.

“oh she kicked again!” kihyun laughed as he felt a kick under his hand.

“this is stupid.” daehyung muttered. he was lying on the floor drawing on some paper.

“dae?” dahyun asked. “look i know your upset. but she hasn’t even come yet-”

“whatever.” daehyung pouted. “she’s just going to be annoying anyway. just like all the other kids.” chaeyoung and dahyun shared a look and chaeyoung our her tablet down to look daehyung in the eyes.

“we have put up with this attitude because we know this is a big change for you. it’s a big change for us too. but in four months you will have a little sister daehyung. and you better be nice to her, she is going to love you but if you treat her badly she will grow to hate you and it will make you and the rest of us miserable okay?” chaeyoung was never strict. her and dahyun both didn’t like to be strict with the boys, they preferred talking it out to being strict. but it had been five months and daehyung was still not coming around with the idea of a baby sister. chaeyoung had watched her son be petty and annoying every time it was brought up. she couldn’t take it anymore. his behavior had to stop.

“fine.” daehyung pouted. “whatever.”

“dae-”

“chaeyoung just stop.” dahyun sighed, rubbing her swollen mid section. if daehyung was jsut going to be a little turd, they should let him. until the baby is born he can get this behavior out of his system. but once she was born, dahyun wasn’t going to put up with him being like this anymore.

“mommy have we picked a name for baby?” kihyun broke the awkward silence.

“no we haven’t thought of one.” dahyun laughed. “why don’t you suggest a name?”

“saya!”

“that’s your cousins name silly.” dahyun laughed. “and we aren’t japanese.”

“hm... i don’t know...” kihyun trailed off. “dae got any suggestions?”

“stupid head.” daehyung answered.

“your sister is not being named stupid head.” dahyun nodded.

“i think i have an idea of what to name her.” dahyun muttered, still stroking her tummy.

“what is it?”

“can’t say.” dahyun giggled at kihyun.

“what?” kihyun asked.

“you’ll have to wait until she’s born.” dahyun laughed.

“no fair i want to know.” kihyun whined.

“you will, eventually. and who knows mama might not even like it.” chaeyoung looked at dahyun in confusion, dahyun giggling at the confused look on her face.

later that night as they were laying in bed together chaeyoung stroked dahyun’s stomach as they laid together. chaeyoung wasn’t a clingy person and neither was dahyun it it was nice to have some quiet moments to themselves sometimes.

“so what is the name you came up with?” chaeyoung asked.

“i was thinking maybe we should name her haeun.” dahyun answered. “she’s our gift from god.”

“i love that name.” chaeyoung whispered, kissing dahyun’s cheek. “son haeun.”

“son haeun. it sounds nice doesn’t it?” dahyun giggled.

“yeah. it’s perfect.”

the day haeun was born was chaotic to say the least. dahyun has been right with her predictions about haeun being a worse pregnancy than daehyung. she had been miserable to have and dahyun’s morning sickness never really went away. by the end she just wanted haeun out of her stomach and in her arms.

but haeun didn’t get the message. she was stubborn like chaeyoung and deicded she wanted to be late. dahyun has been anxiously awaiting her due date and when she didn’t feel any contractions she was mad. then the second day passed with the same results.

“this is dumb i was told this would be over with on september twentieth.” dahyun pouted.

“she’s just taking her time baby.” chaeyoung giggled.

“yeah well your time is up son haeun. it’s time to come into the outside world.” dahyun told her stomach. chaeyoung laughed, dahyun was generally a slim person so when she was pregnant it always looked more dramatic on her than it did on others.

“she’ll come when she’s ready.” chaeyoung laughed.

“and when is that?”

“i don’t know. could be october before she’s ready.”

“please do not say that the thought of being like this for two more weeks fills me with fear.” dahyun sighed. “why can’t any of our kids be on time. i thought wow maybe haeun will be on time but no. she’s just as late as kihyun and daehyung were well-” dahyun stooped herslef mid rant and let out a little squeak.

“well what?”

“i-i think she understood i was mad.”

“what does that mean?”

“i just had a contraction.” dahyun ekked out. “and i think i’m going to have another one soon.”

“crap okay, let’s go. come on let’s get you to the hospital before you kill me like you nearly did with dae.” chaeyoung panicked, grabbing their baby bag and their phones.

“my water hasn’t broken yet i’m fine-” dahyun was interrupted by herself and let out a scream of pain.

“yes clearly you are very fine. would you like to-”

“just get me to the hospital you weirdo!” chaeyoung nodded and brought dahyun downstairs and to the car. she then went to get daehyung and kihyun, both of them groaning at being woken up after bedtime.

“hey boys, your baby sister is coming.” chaeyoung greeted them.

“she is?!” kihyun woke up and shows his excitement.

“yay.” daehyung commented, unenthusiastically.

“let’s go!” kihyun yelled and ran down to the car. “mommy will we get to meet her soon?”

“yup. soon she will be with us.” dahyun smiled and rested one hand on her stomach. she left the part about how she nervous she wasn’t going to be able to do this out and just focused on her breathing as another contraction hit her.

“chaeyoung i cant do this.” dahyun sobbed. her face was bright red with the pain of labor. she had been at this for nearly twelve hours now. she was fully dilated but haeun still hadn’t made an appearance yet.

“yes you can.” chaeyoung answered, letting dahyun squeeze her hand super tightly. “you can do this. for haeun. for your daughter. we get to meet her soon dahyun. just a little more and we will be able to hold our baby girl.” chaeyoung couldn’t fight the giant smile on her face if she wanted. “i can’t wait.”

sana has the joy of taking kihyun and daehyung into dahyun’s hospital room after the baby was born. she knew it had been a long time coming for chaeyoung and dahyun and it wasn’t just the long labor. sana was holding their hands and kihyun opened the door to his mom’s hospital room.

“mommy!” daehyung ran to his mom.

“hey buddy, shh.” dahyun she’s her son, holding a pink bundle in her arms. chaeyoung was sitting next to her, observing the tiny baby in dahyun’s arms. “come meet your little sister.” kihyun and daehyung both went over and even daehyung couldn’t fight a smile at the pale tiny girl. she was so tiny, and so adorable. she was already fast asleep in dahyun’s arms, her tiny pouty lips pursed.

“what’s her name?” daehyung asked.

“haeun. son haeun.”

#twice #son chaeyoung #kim dahyun #dubchaeng

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the-beastslayers-queen · 5 years

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A Dangerous Game: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 is here! Tagging: @queenofthearchitect @biforbecky2belts @writtingrose @writtingrose and @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk If you want to be tagged for this story, hit my inbox. Enjoy!

I was lounging with Finn in his house, having just came back from going with Drew to get my ring. I hated looking at the damn thing. The diamond was huge and prominent on my finger. It was like a giant beacon that screamed I belonged to him, that he owed me.

“I hate this whole damn thing already,” I groaned as I forced my gaze away from my ring, “I don’t like Drew. I don’t like that I had to be the one to make this damn alliance. Why couldn’t it be you that got married into Clan McIntyre I got married into The Authority?”

“Stop being such a child, Catie,” Finn rolled his eyes at me, “The deal has been made and yer going to marry Drew. He’s also comin’ by later to take you out for the evenin’ to a nice dinner. I’m joining the dinner with Bayley. So for the sake of all parties involved, please behave and just get to know the guy.”

“I’m going to back to my place and pick out my outfit for the dinner,” I got up from my seat and waltzed over to Finn and kissed his cheek, “I’ll see you when you come to pick me up for dinner.”

As I walked out, I pulled out my phone and texted Seth. Since I had several hours before the dinner, I was going to be able to spend some time with him.

Cat: Hey Seth, you want to catch up for some coffee? I have a dinner later tonight and I need vent about how much I hate it.

Seth: Yeah sure! I’ll meet you there.

I smiled as I climbed into my car, looking up from my phone to find Gallows looking at me from the driver’s seat. He knew I was up to something.

“Alright I know you’re up to something,” Gallows shook his head as a smile graced his face, “Do you want me to drop you off where you’re going or do you want to go to your place so you can drive yourself with your personal car?”

“You can drop me off at my favorite coffee shop,” I told him, “I’ll get a ride back to my apartment.”

“Alright,” Gallows sighed, “If Finn finds out I left you alone in the open, it’s on you.”

“I’m armed,” I told him, “I’ll be fine. If I get into a snag, I’ll call you or Anderson. Hell I bet Tama or AJ would be willing to pick me up.”

Once I arrived at the coffee shop, I looked around to find Seth in a secluded corner, working away on his laptop. I smiled and walked over to him and took a seat across from him. I went into my purse and set up my iPad to get to work on my own coding project.

“Thank you for meeting with me,” I greeted him as he looked up and smiled at me, “What are you working on?”

“I’m doing diagnostics on Cerberus,” he replied, “I’m trying to find flaws in it so I can strengthen it. When you asked to meet up, I was dealing with someone trying to hack into the network I use this to defend it.”

“Do you want me to help you test it,” I asked him, “I’m pretty good at hacking into servers. I could see if I can beat your program so you can find the flaw.”

“Go for it,” Seth smirked, “I doubt you’ll be able to beat it, but I’ll humor you.”

So I got to work finding the network Seth had his computer connected to and I booted up my invasive program. I cracked my fingers before I started writing in the command code lines to start attacking his program. I had my eyes darting between my screen and Seth, gauging his reactions as I was trying to crack his program. Unfortunately, my program was struggling to crack into his defenses.

But I finally got it. As soon as I did, I set up a picture to display on his screen of a puppy that had destroyed a couch cushion. I smirked and leaned back in my chair, a smug expression on my face as I saw Seth’s jaw drop.

“Boom,” I smirked, “I win.”

“You got lucky,” he shook his head, “But I think I know where the flaw is.”

“Glad I could help,” I replied, “Maybe when you get your program perfected, you could help me create my own. I could use something like yours to protect the servers I work with.”

Seth put his laptop away and I did the same with my iPad. That was when he noticed my ring on my finger.

“Damn,” he grabbed my hand and inspected my ring, “You’re fiancé must be loaded. That is one hell of a diamond on your finger.”

“Yeah tell me about it,” I replied with a sigh and eye roll, “It’s not my taste at all. It’s too damn gaudy and draws why too much attention.”

“Why not just not wear except around him,” Seth replied, “Then you don’t have to look at it every day.”

“You know what,” I decided to slip my ring off and stuffed it into my purse, “I’m not wearing that ugly ring until I have to tonight.”

“Now that we are done with that ring of yours,” Seth got up and walked over to stand beside me, “What would you like to drink? My treat.”

I was sitting with Finn and Bayley at the restaurant, waiting for Drew to arrive. I had my ring on again, as much as I hated the damn thing I had to wear it. If I didn’t, I’m sure Drew would be pissed at me not to mention Finn being mad at me.

“Drew should be here soon,” Finn said as he put his phone away, “Drew got held up with some business.”

“Yet we managed to show up on time and put our business aside for the sake of being polite to him,” I grumbled, “There are so many better places I’d rather be than this dinner.”

“Catriona,” Finn scolded me, “T’at was uncalled for.”

“She didn’t get a choice with her match,” Bayley defended me, “If I was in her place I would react the same way.”

We dropped the conversation as Drew walked into the restaurant and came to greet Finn. After the two of them shook hands, Drew came over to me and kissed my cheek and held onto my shoulders before he took his seat beside me.

“Ya look lovely this evening, Cat,” Drew smiled as he took hold of my hand. I could feel my skin crawl from his forced charm over me. He was trying so hard to woo me into this whole marriage I wanted nothing to do with. I was not attracted to him like I was with Seth.

“I had to make a good impression for you tonight,” I replied with fake pleasantry, “After all you’ll be married to me someday. I have to show you I’ll be a good wife for you.”

“Don’t worry about impressing me,” he replied, “I think yer just fine the way ya are.”

I had to contain my gagging at him laying on the charm. I wanted to run away so badly that I couldn’t describe it.

“So Drew,” Finn took charge of the conversation, “When you and Cat get married, is she going to work for ya or continue working with me?”

“She can continue working for Bálor Club,” he replied as the server came around to pour us all some wine, “I know how important she is to your organization and I don’t want ta cause your group to fold from losing her.”

“Yeah I don’t know how well Finn would run the Club without me,” I smirked, “I’m the Bálor with all the brains and he’s got the brawn and charm.”

“Cat,” Finn warned, “I’m just as smart as ya. I just don’t know how to code and hack into systems like you can.”

The following week from the dinner, Finn and I were going to a meeting with the Authority on their turf. Finn and I were to meet with the higher-ups of the Authority so Finn could announce he and Bayley were going to simply date instead of taking the other two daughters he was offered. I could see how happy Finn has been with Bayley since she has been around Finn every day. If only I could be as happy as Finn was with Bayley while I was with Drew, but I just don’t feel anything for him.

As we entered the night club, Evolution, we made a b-line for the VIP section way off in the club to meet with Hunter and his group. I was nervous for this meeting since Finn and I were only being guarded by Becky and Jordan, which meant being so deep in the Authority’s territory was risky for us if things went south.

“I have a bad feeling about this Finn,” I whispered as we sat down in the VIP booth.

“Just relax,” Finn reassured me, “If t’ings go south, we’ll dip out before bullets fly.”

As we waited for Hunter to come meet with us, I was fiddling with my ring to distract myself. When Hunter came into view, I saw his guards, The Shield following behind him and sure enough there was Seth. Seth and I locked eyes and I saw his eyes go wide at seeing me. His face twisted into one of anger and stormed off instead of following Hunter over to us.

“Finn can you handle this alone,” I asked him, wanting to go talk to Seth.

“Yeah I can handle this I think,” he replied, “Stay close to the club in case I need ya for anything. And please keep your phone on and free.”

“Will do,” with that I took off to find Seth.

When I finally found Seth, he was pacing in the alley behind the club. He looked really pissed and I’m not sure if he was mad at himself or me.

“Seth,” I spoke up, making my presence known, “Come on talk to me damn it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re a part of Bálor Club,” he glared at me, “What’s your real name, Cat? Or do you not trust me enough to tell me.”

“I’m Cat Bálor,” I answered him, “I didn’t tell you because I, for once, wanted to just be Cat. I wanted to be free of obligations to my brother and our gang. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Well sorry doesn’t cut it,” he slammed his fist into the back door of the club in anger, “Cat, you and I have been flirting with each other, and you’ve been leading me on. You’re engaged to McIntyre for fucks sake! You are nothing but a damn tease.”

“I am not a tease,” I protested, “I’ve been flirting and talking to you because I enjoy being around you. I don’t want to marry McIntyre. I’m being set up.”

“Well you should keep your engagement,” Seth looked at me, devoid of all feelings towards me, “Because I am not talking to you anymore. Not after you keeping your allegiance to Bálor Club from me.”

“Seth,” I breathed, trying to not cry, “Don’t do this, please.”

“Well you blew it, Cat,” Seth walked off, “Don’t bother texting me anymore. And if you hack into any of my systems, I will make sure to fry your gear with an EMP that you can’t recover from.”

I fell to my knees as Seth stormed off. I felt my tears streaking down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe that I blew everything from keeping my last name from Seth. He was so open with me, so trusting. Yet, I couldn’t trust him with knowing the full me. I guess I deserved him being mad at me. But I didn’t think I would be this crushed in losing Seth. Maybe I was falling for him. Oh shit.

I am falling for him. I’m going to get in so much trouble because of this. I love Seth, not Drew. I can’t bring myself to love Drew. I could never love Drew because I was smitten with Seth.

I had to let this go for now and go back to Finn. I dried my tears and tried to regain my composure. Once I was good, I went back inside and took my place next to Finn. I tuned out the meeting as I tried to calm the chaos in my mind at the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to have my escape from my engagement now that Seth won’t talk to me anymore.

Once the meeting was over, I got my phone out and texted Anderson. I then looked over to Finn, Jordan, and Becky.

“I’m getting Anderson and Gallows to give me a ride over to Coup De Grace,” I told them, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at the Club meeting.”

“Be careful alright Cat,” Finn pulled me into a hug, “And are you alright? Your eyes look red and puffy.”

“I’m fine,” I told him, “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Gallows and Anderson pulled up and we went to Coup De Grace. I sat silently in the car as we drove, which tipped off Anderson that something was wrong.

“Alright,” Anderson turned around in his seat to look at me, “What’s got you so down, Catie?”

“Karl please don’t ask,” I replied, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah something is wrong if you if you’re not calling me Anderson,” he pushed it.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped at him.

Anderson dropped it and the rest of the ride was quiet. When I got to Coup De Grace, I told Gallows and Anderson I’d bum for a ride from Tama and sent them off. I went inside and saw that Tama was sitting at the bar, going over the supply inventory to work on making orders for more supplies for the bar. I walked over quietly and took a seat on the stool next to him. I let out a heavy sigh before I folded my arms on the bar and laid my head down on them.

“Rough day,” Tama asked without looking up from his work.

“I might have fucked up my chances at getting out of marrying Drew,” I replied as I tried to fight my tears again.

“Let me guess,” Tama put his work aside to look at me, “You didn’t tell Seth who you were and he found out on his own. Then everything blew up in your face.”

“You could have been nice about it,” I grumbled as I looked at him, “What do I do to get him back, Tama?”

“Shoot him a text and explain that you were afraid to tell him,” he replied, “If he doesn’t reply or try to reach out to you, then he’s not worth it and has lost the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”

“I guess I can try that,” I replied as I pulled out my phone.

Cat: I know I screwed up, Seth. But I need you to know that I was scared about telling you who I was. I guess I thought that if you knew who I was and who I was engaged with, you’d throw me away. But my fears and keeping everything a secret made that happen anyway. If you ever change your mind and want to talk to me again, I’ll be at the Coup De Grace every night. If I don’t see you ever again, I’ll move on and leave you alone.

I sat and stared at my phone, waiting to see if he would at least read my text. After waiting ten minutes and not getting the read receipt, I gave up and put my phone away.

“Alright Tama,” I sighed, “Give me a bottle of your best whiskey. I need to drown my heartbreak.”

“Finn might kill me for letting you drink,” Tama warned, “But I won’t stop you from coping until it gets too intense.”

#seth rollins x oc #seth rollins fic #seth rollins fanfic #seth rollins fanfiction #wwe fic #wwe fanfic #wwe fanfiction #A Dangerous Game

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theotomemaiden · 6 years

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Dialovers Tag Post 2!

Tagged by @vampiretsuki and @itsdraconia

Thanks you too! I'm so happy to get tagged I love you! :D

Rules: Simply answer the questions and also Tag me if you are going to do this because I want to and I would love to read your answers~! and Tag anyone else you want to~

1. - Who would you rather take to a night club, Carla or Azusa?

Well, I wouldn't fit in at a regular night club (Not that Carla or Azusa would) so I'd end up going to some underground goth nightclub. Even though I love both Carla & Azusa and although Azusa would definitely fit in the goth scene (Unlike Carla LOL), I'd honestly take Carla just to see his reactions and comments to everything, I think it would be so hilarious!

2. - In a Science test would you copy Yuma's test or Ayato's Test?

Definitely Yuma's test 100%, especially in Science because he seems like he would be smart in that area knowing about gardening & plants and whatnot.

...In any subject, I honestly rather just not take the test instead of copying Ayato. (Sorry Ayato)

3. - Would you rather have Kino and Azusa or Shin and Laito, as your butlers?

I think the obvious answer would be Kino & Azusa, but I'd choose Shin and Laito just to see what kind of shenanigans they would pull.

It'd also be entertaining to see Shin so obedient to orders and how angry and embarrassed it must make him, doing chores for a human.

4. - Go on a date with Reiji at an Aquarium or go on a date with Subaru at a cafe instead?

Definitely Subaru at a cafe! Mostly for the coffee and sweets they have there, but I'd find it very amusing to see how embarrassed Subaru would get if I tried feeding him cake. Blushy Subaru is the best Subaru.

5. - Would you rather go support/see Kou at one of his concerts or go support/see Shu at one of his violin performances?

I would rather see Kou since I'm a sucker for concerts (even though there won't be mosh pits nor head banging), I like that no one judges you at concerts and fully embraces the music. I choose this because I mean, I like the violin and the beautiful music that someone can play from it, but for a whole performance...I'd honestly be bored out of my mind.

6. - In a Math Project would you team up with Ruki and Shin or with Reiji and Yuma?

Okay well first off, I am the absolute WORST at math and hate, hate, hate it! That aside, I'd choose Ruki and Shin because we'd all be more on the same wavelength than Reiji and Yuma and more importantly, we would work together as a team.

If it were Yuma, Reiji and I...I feel like Reiji would do all of the work while Yuma and I slack off, and that's not very fair, lol. I know how irritating it is to do all of the work for everyone in a group while the rest of them just don't even try yet they would still get an A if I did well...

7. - Who would you put your bets on, Kanato eating the most chocolates or Ayato eating the most Takoyakis?

Ayato definitely, he's got the confidence to strive for being the best including eating the most takoyaki (Even if he does get sick after...)

I don't think Kanato would be able to handle eating the most chocolates because I think he would be one to stop once he starts feeling ill.

8. - Sleep in Carla's Room, Subaru's Room or Shu's Room? Would you peek on his stuff?

I'd definitely feel the most comfortable in Carla's room. It's nicely decorated with beautiful paintings and has a beautiful light and a big bed, I also love how almost everything is dark red and the lighting looks dim.

I probably wouldn't bother looking through his things, I don't think he'd have anything interesting kept in his bedroom, I mean aside from the fact that if I got caught looking through things he would kill me.

9. - You’re a princess of the Victorian era! Your father has ordered that you have a bodyguard.. who would you choose as your personal bodyguard, Laito or Kou?

Definitely Kou because he's nice most of the time but can be damn brutal if needed. I think lots of things could get by Laito if he's distracted or flirted with enough...

And although I do love Laito dearly, I wouldn't want his pervy self guarding me 24/7, it would be tiring keeping my defenses up when a body guard is supposed to ease them.

10.- Would you prefer to have Kino in his bat form as your pet or Shin in his wolf form as your pet instead?

Definitely Shin in his wolf form, I mean mostly because I love dogs and wolves, but he's also super soft and cute, and I'd want to cuddle him even if he would bite me.

11. - Break a fight between Kou and Ayato or between Laito and Kanato?

Absolutely Laito and Kanato, aside from the fact that they're brothers, I think it wouldn't get violent like I would picture a fight between Kou and Ayato to get, they seem WAY harder to stop. You could also easily bribe Laito & Kanato out of fighting each other, in my opinion.

12. - Who would you kiss on the cheek, who would you kiss on the forehead, and who would you kiss on the left eyelid? Options: Ruki, Subaru, Azusa.

Aw, I would kiss Subaru on his cheek, Ruki on his forehead and Azusa on his left eyelid! <3

13. - Take care of Shu and Reiji in their chibi form or Subaru and Kino in their chibi form?

Subaru and Kino, because I think it would be funny to make Subaru angry and try to punch me or something, but it wouldn't hurt it would only tickle and I'd be laughing lmao. Kino, well...you can just place him on top of an iPad or something so he can play a game lol.

14. - Sing/Perform in public Laito's Q.E.D song or Reiji's Mr.ButterflyMask song?

Laito's Q.E.D song because I'm not exactly the biggest fan of the song Mr.ButterflyMask.

15. - Would you rather wear Ruki's casual outfit or Yuma's casual outfit?

I think Ruki's casual outfit is more my style, could it be fitted like women's clothing though? If I wore either of their clothing they own, they'd be so huge on me I'd literally be swimming in them... xD

16. - Go on a vacation trip with Shu, Kino and Ayato at an Amusement park, or go with Shin, Azusa and Subaru at a Water Amusement Park?

Even though I rather take a trip with Shin, Azusa and Subaru as a group instead of Shu, Kino and Ayato, I still have to pick the first one because I'm terrified of water rides. One bad experience with one ride when I was 9 and I'm just like NEVER AGAIN.

17. - Would you rather get lost in a forest with Reiji, Kino and Kou, or with Ruki, Carla and Kanato?

I think the better option would be Ruki, Carla and Kanato - Carla has his magic, Ruki is really smart and Kanato's impatience would make everyone strive harder to find our way back lol.

18. - Who would you cook breakfast for? Who would you make a scarf for? Who would you do a drawing for? Options: Kou, Azusa, Shu.

Well...I'm not exactly the greatest at cooking...but I'd probably attempt to cook breakfast for Shu, he might not eat it anyway just because he finds eating to be pointless.

I would make a reallyyyyyy long for Kou, just because it reminds me of his and Carla's sub-scenario where Kou wants to try on Carla's scarf and Carla was like "Okay....if you can unwrap it...." and him and Yui were unraveling multiple meters of scarf and it was just never ending xD

I'd do a drawing for Azusa, I'm an artist with a very dark and gothic art style and I think he would love and appreciate it the most. <3

19. - Participate in a circus as Carla's knife thrower assistant or go to a casino with Shin and be offered as a bet/reward by him in a roulette wheel game?

Definitely in a Circus as Carla's knife thrower assistant, I would put my trust in Carla a lot more, he uses magic and is practically perfect as a lot of things so he can't miss THAT badly while throwing knives. Unless he really TRIES to kill me lol, I like doing dangerous things anyway :)

With Shin...well...you never know where that will end up. Lol

20. - Who would you rather catch by accident taking a shower, Yuma or Kanato?

Definitely Yuma...while he my get angry a bit, you never know what Kanato would do out of anger and embarrassment...lol.

And @vampiretsuki YES I love tag posts like these! I'd be extremely happy to read and answer another! ♥️♥️♥️Thankssss!!!!

Also, everyone should do this! I know a lot of people were already tagged but if you weren't then say I tagged you ^_^

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #diahell #diaboys #diabolik brothers #questions #20 questions #tag post

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pikadotnet · 7 years

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Passion Is The Power

At First When You Don't Succeed...

17年09月02日 - 5:19 PM EST | So...when we last left off there was a promise of trying to be more "timely" and "proactive" on posting and round-about just getting stuffs done. Well...*hides under a rock*...in my um...*looks around shyly*...ummm, in my defense...(if I even have one?)...I have been proactive but just in ways that you all can't actually see. ﾟ. :｡(*´ｪ`*)ﾟ. :｡ So, let me explain a bit if I may? Shortly after we left off last, I had a TERRIBLE ear ache that knocked me down and out. Being down and out stinks for anyone, but it really, REALLY offset my whole balance. So...I started to think really hard about HOW exactly I would accomplish the tasks I set out to accomplish; like making sure I was able to post on a more consistent basis, right...remember that? Wellllll...that's when I started making a list at work of things that were keeping me from being able to accomplish this task. Here's what I came up with:

Catching up and completing assignments at work

Finding time (while still awake) to sit down at my computer

Focusing on the task of writing a post

My wonderful furry and spiky family members (2 Dogs / 1 Cat / 1 Hedgehog)

Finding media to complement my post ideas

Realization that Instagram / Facebook / Twitter would all suffer if I spent my time just writing

Spending time and catching up with loved ones like friends and family

Monthly bills and stretching money to last (currently achieving PRO level BOOYAH!!! lol)

Desire to just be a little lazy-log-loaf

A little game called Pokémon GO

So, of course I realized that some of these things just can't be helped. Things like work, taking care of my furry and spiky family members, friends, family, and stretching money to pay bills and do life-stuff (something I like to commonly refer to as adulting) just cannot be ignored. Can I just say...and for the record...ADULTING TOTALLY SUCKS!!! (๐•̆ ·̭ •̆๐)

But out of all this list making and chronic complaining (sometimes I whine ok...sometimes I can be a TOTAL PAIN LOL just ask any of my friends) something really, REALLY good came out of it! ✧◝( ◠‿◠ )◜✧˖° I found that I was living in total chaos while mundane tasks in life were truly dragging me down and wearing on me in ways I hadn't really fully comprehended or maybe didn't want to accept? Well...that all ended as soon as my ear ache cleared up! By the way, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH for all your wishes to feel better soon! That really made me smile and helped me to feel better, so...THANK YOU!!! *GIANT HUGS WHILE SQUEEZING TIGHTLY* Sooooooo, after getting all better and catching up somewhat at work I decided that I could either give up, or fight! I gave my mommy-chu a call (something I commonly do because my mommy and I are super close *waves happily* I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!) and she told me, "Pika...I've known you a long time sweetie...and I know that not only do you have this...you'll find a way to fight and achieve even MORE than you originally hoped." I asked her, "You really think so?" Even though she lives thousands of miles away, I could feel that smile and it warmed my heart. NOTHING is better than when you FEEL the love from your family, and my mother means THE WORLD to me! Then, my brother, who means more to me than he'll prolly ever know (YES YOU!!! *sticks tongue out and makes a face*) commented that, "if you just find a balance, I know you'll be fine. Don't worry so much! Your problem Pika is that you overthink everything and make it more complicated than it needs to be." I thought about that and realized, as much as I didn't want to, he was right. Can I stop for a second and just say how much it BOTHERS me that he is like, ALWAYS right!!! -_-# UGH!! I love him to pieces and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him, but it wears on me when I hear him say something, and as much as I may deny it...he's...always...(annoyingly) right... Well...I decided something needed to be done. I didn't want to walk away from everything I had started, and push away everything that I fought so hard for. I want so desperately to find a balance between life / work / social / blog / and storefront (soon to be revisited and opened). My brother was right, somehow I just needed to heed the infamous Nike slogan and "Just Do It" but in a way that wouldn't topple me over and make those things I want so badly feel like a chore instead of a pleasure. Why am I sharing all this with you, you ask? Well, I do care about you internet-readers out there that actually take the time and read my posts. I LOVE YOU ALL MORE THAN YOU KNOW!!!! I figured that if anyone out there ever has struggled or may currently be struggling with the same things I am right now that possibly sharing my approach with you all could help someone out there? Well, after reflecting on what my mother and brother told me, thats when I think I found a solution (maybe?) !

Passion Drives Everything

The heading says it all doesn't it? LOL My secret weapon? Passion. Some may say structure is key, others have told me scheduling, or planning. All of those things are nice, but without a drive, a reason, a cause, or simply put...passion...they're kinda...worthless? ^_^;; So, my best advice to anyone in this situation is to evaluate, or re-evaluate in my case, your passion. Sometimes your original goal changes and morphs into something else! Sometimes its bigger! Sometimes, sadly passion just fades, and thats okay too, ya know? Well...in my particular case, my passion hasn't faded but its kinda taken a backseat to life at the moment. The "backseat-ing" of my passion has become kinda apparent sadly, but I think this was the best thing to happen to me. The stopgap of time has allowed me to reflect a lot and truly realize how important this endeavor of love (this website and social media outlets) is to me and how starved it has become by letting it sit like it has for far too long.

One of the analogies I like to draw upon when considering whether or not I am giving enough attention to a passion of mine is this: Is my passion my acquaintance, my friend or my child? If my passion is my "acquaintance" than I suppose like an actual acquaintance I would give my time briefly and be polite, but the truth really is that an acquaintance doesn't get terribly too much attention, right? (・'v`・)？？ What about a friend? Some might argue that people give more attention to friends than their own children but in this case, lets say that that's NOT the case, ok? XD In the same fashion as a comparable to an acquaintance, a friend would get more attention and dedication, and one might even say some tender love and care. Children are different though. Children would require nurturing and compassion, and when those very rare moments occur (or at least we aim for rare) when children fail or are lost without direction, they turn to their parents, right? So, in this analogy, if you were the parent of your passion; the one...true...dedicated...controller of this little one's fate...don't you owe it to your passion to plant seeds towards its success? Maybe thats the answer then? If you truly own your passion and make it yours, can anything really stop you? Would anything stop you as a parent if something were to happen to your child? In this new light, it gave great perspective to my situation. A perspective I can honestly say allowed me to see the flaws of my "parenting" and a call to ensure my "child" receives the attention it truly deserves. I can start by committing real definable goals to my "child" and seeing where that takes me. In order to do this, I'm gonna have to consider how to fit everything in and find ways to make things easier while still keeping my promises to my "child".

A Solution At Long Last (Maybe?)

So the challenge seems SO much clearer now: How do I commit to my passion while making it feel less like a chore but still giving it the dedication it deserves and needs? The answer is less clear but at least now with the challenge defined it allows what others have suggested to start falling into place. Once you make the choice and can commit fully to your passion, the rest seems to be semantics and details. To try and aide me on this journey I decided to take a leap of faith and gave in and bought a shiny new iPad Pro(hibitor) to hopefully help make the issue of pulling out my computer a tad easier? The thought was that if I could write posts with the Apple iOS device, maybe it would help at least provide a way for posts to get written at a faster and more steady rate than relying on when I pull out my computer. Honestly, I think the only reason that pulling out my computer currently causes "Lazy-Loaf Syndrome" (LOL) is because my work, personal email and website data is also stored across this system? Also, I think that having an interface where I don't have to work with media and can just write might actually be a HUGE benefit and help with one of those other issues...focus. UGH! Me and my ADHD can get pretty bad, but as the first post written entirely on the iPad Pro (before being edited on my Apple MacBook Pro) I have to say that the only thing I personally feel that I have to work on now is my ability to write quicker! LOL XD Honestly though, I think this might actually be a big part of the solution that I needed. LETS HOPE SO!!! *Fingers crossed*

Signed with love, compassion, and sincere desire for change,

ピカさん

#Personal #Goals #//LIFE #reflection

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labyriinths · 5 years

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Charlie Harris Head canon: The end of Charlie/Dawn

ᑕᕼᗩᖇᒪIE went over and over in his mind the pros and cons of leaving Dawn. It was excruciating to him, to be able to do it right. Even before there was Alex, there was something missing. Their marriage was built out of respect and fondness, but there had to be more to make it work. Laughter, and lingering moments were notably absent. They had it before, but somewhere as they started to grow into themselves more, their relationship became stagnant. It was just having someone you could count on, and be a great roommate most of the time. It was likely why they kept delaying have children, citing ‘it’s just not the right time.’ But when would it be? None of them seemed passionate enough to fight for it. Their marriage was routine, and he knew not only he deserved more, but so did Dawn.

Did Alex have anything to do with it? Well sure she did, because she was the walking reminder that those feelings could exist. As much as a flirtation took place, Charlie simply respected Dawn too much to let their marriage go out that way. The moment he forwent seeing his wife after her long trip, and instead going out with his colleagues he knew. He just knew it was over. He returned that night to their apartment, and knew she must have been tired from her trip, so he decided on the sofa instead. He was risen by the opening of the curtains in their apartment as Dawn made light appear in the living room. Her routine had not faltered a bit. With the newspaper in hand, she started making the coffee, and scrambling eggs. Last night was no big deal to her, and he wasn’t even apologizing for not being there.

As he squinted, he rose from the sofa, and rubbed his eyes. “Good morning,” he said gruffly. “’Morning,” she said simply, glancing at him once, before mixing the eggs in the pan with the spatula.

Huh.

“Sorry about last night, had a big day and needed to have a drink, to get out of my head. How was your trip?” he asked, walking over to the stool by the island of their kitchen.

“No big deal, I get it.” she said simply, grabbing a plate, and setting the newspaper on the counter. “Would you like some?” she asked, not looking back as she leaned over her ipad rummaging through her emails.

“No, Dawn I’m fine.” Charlie felt a pit in his stomach. He should do it now. He shouldn’t keep it going. “Dawn, look we have to talk.”

Dawn kept her back to him, and raised a hand up to stop him. “Charlie wait. Don’t.” she could feel emotion catch on her throat, but she willed it down. After all, she was Dawn Bell. Their marriage was not going to go down this way, she was not going to be the victim.

“The reason I came down earlier was because I’ve been giving our marriage a great deal of thought.” Needing to keep her hands busy, she lowered the fire on the stove, and went to the fridge grabbing some greek low fat yogurt and added a spoonful to the mix. All the while her composure was poised, but she could feel everything inside breaking but she was the one that was going to do it, not him.

“It’s been fun, we’ve had a good few years, but right now it’s not where I think it should be. I’ve been offered a job at Mount Sinai, and I want to take it. There’s a tremendous amount of cases I’ve never dreamed I could do, and it will be an exceptional opportunity for my career.” The more she went on, the easier it was being to just be the dominant in the conversation. As she took the scrambled eggs out of the pan, and set it on the plate, she finally turned to him, sipping her coffee. “What do you think?”

Charlie was stunned into silence all the while Dawn had rambled on, until he realized what she was doing, and hated himself all the more. She knew he was going to ask for a divorce, and she knew him. Dawn was giving him a jail out of free card, and was never going to admit it. She was an extraordinary woman he didn’t’ deserve to have, but someone would be lucky to have. He walked over to Dawn, and hugged her from behind, his chin on her shoulder as he tried to make her relax. “I never deserved you Dawn, you were always too good for me.”

Dawn could feel the tears forcing themselves through her eyes, and with one blink they cascaded down her cheeks. There were no sobs, that much she could control. But she felt at peace that things were going out her way.“I hope you can find what you’re looking for.” she kissed his cheek, feeling the ache in her stomach she’d felt when she took the trip. “I’ll have my lawyers draw up the paperwork later today, should be easy.” she patted his arm around her shoulder, and walked out of the kitchen into their room. Once she made it into their bathroom she shut the door, and sat behind the door, letting the tears fall perfectly down in their torrents.

Charlie was off the hook, but it wasn’t something to celebrate. He was going to have a chance at a different life again, but as unfulfilled as their marriage was, something once beautiful had died. He wanted to go after her, knowing she had the brave front this whole time, but he decided to let her have her space. None of this was going to be easy. He respected her, and she was a big chunk of his life. At least until she moved, he was going to do his best to not start things up again. Divorces were looked badly on both, and he wasn’t going to add fuel to the rumor mill that would unlikely unravel despite how private the two were.

Months passed, and their divorce was one of the most amicable there was. At least that was what their lawyer told them. Dawn offered him the apartment, citing her move to New York, but Charlie didn’t want it. He offered it to her, for whenever she’d come back. They split their assets down the middle, and that was it. With a sign of the paper, their marriage was a thing of the past. As Dawn was about to leave abruptly, Charlie stopped her and gave her a hug. “You’re exceptional, Dawn.” She nodded, kissing his cheek and there she went.

Important notes:

- He never cheated on Dawn

- They remained good friends after the divorce

- Dawn was the first sense of security he had while he was in college studying medicine. She helped shape him into a more open person, giving him his first real take on companionship. Without her, he probably wouldn’t have been good enough for Alex.

#muse charlie #;hc: charlie harris #saving hope rp #saving hope roleplay #charlie harris rp #charlie and dawn #tigereyesmuse #indie rp #multi muse rp

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janiklandre-blog · 7 years

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Monday, April 17, 2017

On Easter Monday - 9:45 a.m. - not a holiday - yet part holiday - my eye op scheduled for this afternoon - I am to be there at 1:30 - equipped my grandson with phone numbers - very grateful that he is coming. - Once again my mother - she often talked about how when in the 1930's things were getting worse and worse in Europe it was the blood families who were drawing together - her best friend Marianne for whom I was named - she and her daughter later perished in Auschwitz - but close as she had been to my mother - after we had come to Prague and Marianne and my mother lived in the same town again - my mother lamented, the friendship was never the same again.

The Catholic Worker prides itself on being a family - often I was assured of being a member of that family - yet in this instance - how fortunate my grandson now lives in Brooklyn. How fortunate I am to have a grandson.

When I came here at 9:15 the computer room was still closed - security told me of the three maintenance men only one on duty - a holiday? - once again my bells were going off, learn to use the ipad - she promised it would be open by 9:30 - I waited a bit beyond that - glad to find it open. Cannot deny being nervous about the operation - it was nice two weeks ago to have Pim and his friend take me - having time for me later, Pim helping with the drops, taking me next next morning for a 7:30 appointment to the doctor - but I will manage - somebody there to walk out with me from the clinic is a law. The laws. Our president will do away with all of them - also may do away with us, altogether. Things do look scary.

People all say - nothing to it with these cataracts - and of course compared to most other operations it is "nothing" - still I think it was late February I went to the original doctor - now out of the picture but the two doctors still seem to collaborate after some fashion - and it will be the middle of May that my last eye drop is scheduled for. Besides - when did I begin fretting over this operation - the optometrist who had been my student whom I so much liked had, so I was told by his nasty successor written something about cataracts in my file but kindly not told me - this was 10 years ago. It was seven years ago his successor nastily told I had cataracts - it's written here he said - I never went to see him again - and have found out how many people are trying doctor after doctor. You are never sure do you really need a procedure or are they trying to make money. That is what modern medicine has come to. Harder and harder to find a doctor who went into it because he/she loves people and not "it is a good business".

Luckily until now I have been able to live with a real minimum of medical care - my European doctor friends always willing to share their knowledge with me over the telephone. Never an American doctor - the law forbids it - and the law has made so many people happy to sue - which has made things worse and not better. Insurance rates for doctors are astronomical - also years and years to pay off debts for their education - urgent reforms are needed. Once I found a wonderful nurse practitioner - she was sitting next to an anatomical chart - had time - was happy to give me anatomical instruction that I badly need - it was an instance where an expensive Park Avenue wanted to operate immediately - this must have been 1975 - the nurse practitioner suggested exercises. The doctor had been recommended by Christine F.

I guess a topic to dwell on this morning - though there is something I had met to mention. Among the familiar faces I met at the funeral on Saturday was a man who long has been called Jerry the Peddler, a Vietnam veteran, in his 60's now he already came to my attention around 1985 when a woman who had changed her name to Cassandra mentioned him. She died a few years ago, she came into my life in 1968 - still Thelma then - a student at the New School about to take PhD qualifying exams in anthropology that she passed. She was the mother of four sons, she also was a student of communes. I met her at a meeting where urban communes were planned - and again in my memoirs you could read about my involvements with urban communes, other communes - always an observer. Cassandra wanted to do a dissertation as a participant observer - filled reams and reams with her observations - got three of her four sons involved - never could get any funding. Under Carter - the president - she got some job in some program she liked - teaching computer skills - funds were cut - she was disgusted - and got into peddling - yes, she did love marihuana. On East 9th street she met a squatter, Jerry - and this was actually how I learned about the squatters - also would have loved to write a book - no connections, no funding, no guidance - did not know how to go about it. Peddling, any kind of business, alien to me, I made do on shoe strings.

I see Jerry practically throwing himself under garbage trucks hauling away pocessions of homeless people who had set up a tent city in Tompkins Square Park - they with help from the squatters and also other people fought City Hall for three years, almost unprecedented. I was there at every raid - bringing cookies, hoit coffee and helpoing people robbed of the little they owned in small ways. One woman asked me to safe keep her journal - Cassandra asked me to safe keep beautiful poems she wrote - all burned in 2000 - including my 6th Street Log - typed forerunner to this here blog. Hundreds of pages.

Back to Jerry last Saturday - I had spent not too long ago a little time with him and he had told me about the program he had found - it involved gardening - and when I saw him Saturday he was fitter than ever - I asked had marijuana kept him young - no, he said - gardening. I think the garden he works is not too far away and in days not very long ago I walked, and walked watched what was happening in this here neighborhood and well might have come across his garden - yes - gardening - my mother loved it, my younger son loves it - I - when we lived in post war Germany my mother did wonders with a little stony soill at her disposal - no tools, no water hoses - we worked practically with bare hands, carried water out in pots - yes, she supplemented our rather poor nutrition in signficant ways - but scolded and scolded and scolded my father and me for not helping enough - in any event, I never wanted to garden again. It seems - my mother's father when they had almost no money turned a little bit of land practically into subsistence farming - my grandmother did not garden much, she raised geese and chickens, was a wonderful baker, cook - house, laundry spotlessly clean - and as my mother describes in her memoirs - a most wonderful volunteer social worker - many people seeking her council.

The green thumb, it has passed me by - the Central Park Conservancy has a long list of applicants who love to garden - and have turned the park into a great garden. I do enjoy their efforts, much is in bloom now, I love to gp there - don't have a desire to put my hands into the soil. Might keep me a lot fitter than sitting at this here computer. Jerry does also show that marijuana consumption has not hurt him. A truly kind, alwasys smiling man - he gave me a friendly hug.

Well, it 11 a.m. - quickly about yesterday - a lovely long lunch at the Ukrainians with Haralld - we met when he was 20 and I was 22 - for years were very little in touch - alas he lives in Los Angeles - by now we both have lost many friends who died - and enjoy each other and have much to tell each other about our lives. He gives me excellent advice - he is a lot more practical than I am. We then came to my roof - it was a bit windy - and we both preferred the sun vehind clouds where it stayed most of the time. We enjoyed the green furniture. Then on to the Catholic Worker - where he wisely suggested I should keep my long time bonds - was greeted in the usual very friendly way - Edgar insisted on playing on the piano for us in the auditorium - took Hrald over to 1st Avenue for the #15 that only comes on ther rarest of occasions, specially on a Sunday - but there it was and Hrald got on.

At the CW I had seen the lovingly set tables for Easter dinner - tablecloths, cloth napkins - the best service in the world - I returned for the dinner - was served by M.H. - lovely dinner, devilled eggs, slices of kielbasa with - now the German comes: Kren - cubes of cheese, endless refills of apple juice - mashed potatoes , carrots, string besns with a cheese sauce, roast beef that I forwent - they really were outdoing themselves - I watched - just don't have much to say to the topics broached.

Kept waking up - but here I am - ready to leavetoo early - I am everywhere too early - peasant background? Have caught charter flightd that left two hours early - Zurich - too expensive for them to sit on the tarmac - they had arrived early - the flight was a shaky affsir, very old plane, no idea who flew it, but it got me to New York - to a difficult scenario - all described in my memoirs. I know,I am writing them over - since I don't find ways for publishing, that is what I have been doing. And yes, I do repet myself. Also Harald told me horror story of a man publishing on face book - I think he nearly landed in jail - also said tumbler is often used for pornography - who knows into what hot waters I still my get - with a little bit of luck, a little bit of luck - hopefully I'll be back here tomorrow, and tomorrow - some more tomorrows adios Marianne

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neverlearnedtoread · 3 years

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Let’s Talk About Love

⭐⭐; aces in fiction: i,,cant,,,,,feel,,,,,,,, the,,need,,,,,,,,to s,,e,x,,,

aces in real life: this vine on repeat

Oh?? 👌😉😏

if you want to read something much longer than a leaflet about the ‘Asexual Experience’, and you honestly cannot comprehend the idea of living a life without wanting sex, read this book instead of bothering an asexual. it’s basically Aces for Dummies

clearly defines lots of the vocabulary related to the ace-spectrum - saves you a google search!

No.. ❌🤢🤮

i never want to put too much pressure on a single book to encompass everything about [insert some aspect of identity here], because that’s unrealistic, but alice was a caricature of a person. it was like watching an alien trying to lie, very badly, and it wasnt even funny

all the characters making soapbox speeches all the time. like why don’t we stop pretending and add in the *record scratch*, really lean into it?

pacing was nonexistent because there was no plot beyond spending every waking moment with the love interest and waiting for him to magically understand how she wants him to act

the pacing issue was made even more annoying because alice had stuff to deal with outside of her love life! and yet the friend and family related tension was treated like an afterthought, something annoying that kept her from being able to focus on how the love interest was the most “”””annoyingly gorgeous””” man in the world

the east asian rep (takumi the love interest is japanese) sucked. there was a point when takumi brought home-made mapo tofu (because he’s asian, get it?? at least it wasn’t sushi) for alice totally unprompted and i had the sudden compulsion to throw my ipad on the floor. the bakugo in me jumped out

Some spoilers under the cut - be warned, I did not like this book!

Summary: Alice is a super cute asexual babe who is struggling to navigate the hypersexualized world of the college dating pool. Amidst all these dramatic angsty thoughts about her not being cut out for romance or feeling like she’s “”missing out”” just because she will never feel the compulsion to get it on with anyone arrives the startlingly (impossibly) attractive Takumi, a new co-worker at her part-time job in the library. After disagreeing with her friends and family over important things for a while and then avoiding those important things in favour of hanging out with Takumi while he continues to act mind-bogglingly perfect, Alice realises that sexual and romantic attraction are not mutually tied together, with no particular effort on....anyone’s part, really.

Concept: 💭💭💭

Reading more diverse books is something I’m always striving towards, and asexuality in particular is something I’m eager to see in fiction - especially romance fiction! So to hear that this book had a black biromantic ace as the main character who falls in love and has to struggle with all that entails was exciting. I was interested to see if the experiences detailed in this narrative would resonate with my own experience.

Execution: 💥💥

It’s much harder for me to rate books lowly than highly - when I don’t like something, I always try to give it the benefit of the doubt - maybe it just wasn’t for me! But I genuinely think this book could have been done so much better. So much of the story speaks directly to the reader, instead of trying to tell a story. You can never get away from the sensation that you’re watching a bunch of puppets being jerked around in a heavy-handed PSA about Asexuality Being Valid. That’s not a bad message, but it loses its punch in uninteresting, cardboard cut-out characters and a hopelessly unfocused plot.

Personal Enjoyment: ❤

I can say with full confidence that this book just...wasn’t written for me. I don’t need a watered-down cheat sheet on ‘how to interact with asexuals’. It was nice to be validated, of course, and I think I probably would have connected more with the plotline back when I was still feeling very Asexual With a Question Mark, but the book had no sense of subtlety. I could draw parallels with this book and my own experiences but the story was overly simplified. The kinda-boring story of how I realized I was ace would have been way more interesting than whatever this was.

Favourite Moment: I enjoyed the frank portrayal of therapy - though I’m not sure about the accuracy, I did like that stuff about the cost of sessions and having to keep an eye on the time so you can cram everything you want to discuss into the allotted time.

Favourite Character: Ryan - I thought he was a nice friend, even if he was massively underdeveloped just like the rest - everyone else was just too cardboard cutout for their role but Ryan had a bare minimum place in the story and managed to meet his criteria. Supportive, but not cookie-cutter perfect to the point he no longer felt like a real human being.

#let's talk about love #claire kann #book review #bookblr #booklover #reading #books

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grassroutes · 4 years

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XP Pen Note Plus is a Magical Paper Notepad That Scans Everything You Write

Our verdict of the XP Pen Note Plus: A clever concept that bridges the digital divide and saves your paper scribbles, works with any A5 notepad, and for an entirely reasonable price. But it's seriously let down by a buggy app, and if you want to make changes to previously written notes, the concept starts to fall down flat. 610

Putting pen to paper is so much more satisfying than writing on a screen. But if you need to share your creation, or back it up, your options are to take a bad photo or get a scanner. The XP Pen Note Plus is really quite magical. It’s a paper notepad, but anything you write on it is synced with the accompanying app via Bluetooth. And it costs less than $100.

XP Pen has carved a name for themselves offering digital artist tablets at affordable prices, but for those of us who prefer a pen and paper, can this device bridge the divide?

Yes, It Works With Any Notepad!

You’re probably thinking that this sort of tech needs a special type of paper, or a particular replaceable notepad. The good news is that any slimline A5 notepad will fit, and works just fine.

The back page tucks into the Note Plus folder, and the whole thing weighs less than a pound.

You do however need to use the supplied ballpoint pen. XP Pen sells replacement ballpoint cartridges, but they appear to be standard Ministar refills, so you should be able to find them anywhere.

How Does It Work?

To use the Note Plus, open the stylish folder, turn to your latest artistic creation, and carry on writing. It’s hardly complicated, assuming you have battery power. The device will automatically power on when opened and begin recording your pen strokes.

To start a new page, press the single button on the bottom edge of the folder. A small white LED will flash to indicate you’ve started a new page. If you forget to do this, or it doesn’t register, then your pages become a muddled mess and chaos will reign.

Did I forget to press the button?

Besides this single button, you’ll find a proprietary magnetic charging port. Use the supplied cable with any standard USB charger. A single charge should last around 10 hours of continuous use, with a standby time of a month.

The XP Pen Note Plus has enough internal memory for around 50 pages before they need to be synced or deleted.

But Where to Put That Pen?

The only design flaw in the Note Plus is that there’s nowhere to store the pen. Which, considering it can only be used with that pen and therefore it isn’t really something you’d want to lose, seems like a significant oversight. I’m sure they could have made the folder a bit bulkier and included somewhere to tuck it in.

How to Sync Your Notes?

Open up the accompanying app, and after the initial pairing is complete, it should reconnect over Bluetooth. Pull down from the top and hit sync.

Or at least this is how it should work in theory. In my testing on an iPhone X, I needed to pair every single time I opened the app. This was quite frustrating, but I’m confident it’s a software bug they can fix. I’ve yet to receive a response on my support request, but that’s forgivable given the situation in China at the moment.

Once your notes are synced, you can use the text recognition button to turn them into digital text. Since I’ve had a keyboard close to hand since the age of about three, my writing is barely legible to humans, let alone machine AI. Frankly, the concept of turning your written note into a digitally recognized text seems a little pointless, since you probably would have been a lot faster to just type it out in the first place.

It's pretty cool when it works, though.

Get used to seeing this.

The back button slows down playback, the forward button speeds it up, and the slider isn't interactive. Could this be any more badly designed? No, no it couldn't.

Another seemingly pointless feature is the ability to “playback” your creation. This shows an animated representation of your pen strokes. While I’m sure it’s fascinating to see a true artist at work, this feature doesn’t quite convey the same beauty of the pen stroke. What this feature does allow you to do, however, is fix merged pages by painstakingly watching for the moment you started a new page but forgot to press the new page button, and then hit the split to create two separate pages.

Be very careful though, because if you miss the right spot, you’ll have to start again from the start. For an example of horrible design choices, observe the final UI screenshot above. The skip back button doesn’t, in fact, go back, it just slows down the playback. The forward button doesn’t go forward, it speeds up playback. And the progress slider? You can’t actually drag it. It’s just a visual indicator. After discovering this fact, I hit the main back button to go back and try again at splitting my accidentally merged pages; and then the app crashed.

Can You Edit Previous Notes?

Normally, adding some scribbles to a previous page in a paper notepad would be a relatively simple affair. Turn to the page, and keep writing! But with the Note Plus, it’s not quite as simple, since the only button on the device itself is to start a new page. If you’ve already started a new page, there’s no way to tell it you want to go back again.

However, it is actually possible to make changes to previously synced notes. Just open the app, select the note you want to edit, then select the edit button in the top right. Then tap to confirm. Keep the app open while you write on the page, and the additions will sync live with the app. You can even change the color, though I hope I don’t need to point out that this is only going to be on the digital copy, not your physical original. Yes, it’s weird.

Do You Really Need to Save Your Scribbles?

The XP Pen Note Plus is a unique and fascinating concept that really does manage to bridge the divide between a physical pen and paper, and digital storage. It creates a perfect copy of your creation, recording individual strokes. Assuming you want to use a ballpoint pen that is, not a pencil.

It’s truly magical to see it in action. You couldn’t design a product that’s easier to use, really. Unless you want to edit something you wrote a few pages back, then you’ll need to keep the app open and Bluetooth connected.

For less than $100, you can’t go too wrong. But only if they can fix the Bluetooth pairing bug, which makes every sync a bit of a chore at the moment.

My closest comparison will have to be an iPad or Android tablet. And for most people, the truth is that a tablet will simply be more convenient and a better value device in the long run. If you don’t particularly care where you jot down notes, an iPad will serve you better and do so much more. But just as telling a book lover to buy a kindle isn’t particularly helpful, if you’re the type of person who just can’t abide writing on a digital screen, the Note Plus might be precisely the product you’ve been looking for.

Got that creative bug but not sure if the XP Pen Note Plus is right for you? Check out XP Pen’s full range of great value digital drawing tablets!

Thanks to XP Pen, we have another Note Plus to give away to one lucky reader. Just enter your details below, and be sure to watch the review video to find the bonus code. Good luck!

Enter the Competition!

XP Pen Note Plus Giveaway

Read the full article: XP Pen Note Plus is a Magical Paper Notepad That Scans Everything You Write

XP Pen Note Plus is a Magical Paper Notepad That Scans Everything You Write posted first on grassroutespage.blogspot.com

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droneseco · 4 years

Text

XP Pen Note Plus is a Magical Paper Notepad That Scans Everything You Write

XP Pen has carved a name for themselves offering digital artist tablets at affordable prices, but for those of us who prefer a pen and paper, can this device bridge the divide?

Yes, It Works With Any Notepad!

You’re probably thinking that this sort of tech needs a special type of paper, or a particular replaceable notepad. The good news is that any slimline A5 notepad will fit, and works just fine.

The back page tucks into the Note Plus folder, and the whole thing weighs less than a pound.

You do however need to use the supplied ballpoint pen. XP Pen sells replacement ballpoint cartridges, but they appear to be standard Ministar refills, so you should be able to find them anywhere.

How Does It Work?

Did I forget to press the button?

The XP Pen Note Plus has enough internal memory for around 50 pages before they need to be synced or deleted.

But Where to Put That Pen?

How to Sync Your Notes?

Open up the accompanying app, and after the initial pairing is complete, it should reconnect over Bluetooth. Pull down from the top and hit sync.

It's pretty cool when it works, though.

Get used to seeing this.

The back button slows down playback, the forward button speeds it up, and the slider isn't interactive. Could this be any more badly designed? No, no it couldn't.

Can You Edit Previous Notes?

Do You Really Need to Save Your Scribbles?

For less than $100, you can’t go too wrong. But only if they can fix the Bluetooth pairing bug, which makes every sync a bit of a chore at the moment.

Got that creative bug but not sure if the XP Pen Note Plus is right for you? Check out XP Pen’s full range of great value digital drawing tablets!

Thanks to XP Pen, we have another Note Plus to give away to one lucky reader. Just enter your details below, and be sure to watch the review video to find the bonus code. Good luck!

Enter the Competition!

XP Pen Note Plus Giveaway

Read the full article: XP Pen Note Plus is a Magical Paper Notepad That Scans Everything You Write

XP Pen Note Plus is a Magical Paper Notepad That Scans Everything You Write published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

0 notes