#i need someone who's either lgbt or a definite ally

[mobliterated]

Okay me angy here I go getting riled up again! If I see any more pisscourse about ace/aro not being part of the queer community, queer is a slur, men are inherently evil monsters, I’m just gonna assume you’re a TERF. Ace discourse back in the 10’s is exactly how TERFs started their rise to power.

Start out by drawing a line in the sand that (awful) people agree with. Now there’s proof that you can start boxing in certain identities. That means (general) you can start making specific definitions for things.

Queer is now a slur again. Queer actually hasn’t been reclaimed. People agree with that. You’ve just torn down an umbrella identity that everyone was able to gather under and unite behind.

LGBTQIA+ is actually the Correct Way to talk about the queer community. Actually we need to drop QIA+ because queer is a slur, intersex isn’t a sexuality/gender and is just a weird medical condition, and A stands for allies (instead of aro/ace bc we already decided that they aren’t part of the community) and we don’t want those sick CisHets infiltrating our community.

LGBT is now the proper accepted term. That means you must be Gay Lesbian Bisexual and/or Transgender to be part of the community. If you aren’t doing LGBT correctly then you are trying to infiltrate the community and steal resources (and those resources are never defined). Only LGBT people are safe.

Oh, except bisexuals. They’re dirty cheaters bc they get to pass as straight and thus aren’t Oppressed Enough like us Pure Gays. How dare they be into men. Only Good Gays get to be into men. If a lesbian ever thought about a man in any vague romantic/sexual way then they are Impure. Men are the true evil of the world bc patriarchy. The only type of man you’ll be safe with is a gay man bc they don’t want to SA you when they see your shoulders/ankles.

All men are the root of all evil, except our good example gay men, who coincidentally are usually white and follow the good gay stereotypes, which are feminine in nature. Femininity is Good and Safe. You can trust anyone who is Feminine, and you can distrust anyone who is Masculine. Men only exist to take advantage of women. Women must be protected at all costs.

Wait. We allow transgender people in the community. That means either a Dirty Evil Man is cosplaying as a woman, or a Pure Innocent Girl got taken in by the evils of masculinity and patriarchy. Trans people are bad since they are being taken over by Evil Men, and/or trying to infiltrate the community, which we already decided is bad. Trans people aren’t Pure. The T in LGBT gets dropped.

Also if you’re nonbinary someone pulled the wool over your eyes. It’s just a phase and you’ll fall into Woman Lite soon enough. There’s no such thing as an amab nonbinary person. Men are evil, and nonbinary is Woman Lite. If you dress in any way that’s not feminine or androgynous then you are doing it wrong.

Congrats, you are now a TERF.

And before you say “that’s not what happened!” I saw every single one of these talking points come out in real time. It was slow. It wasn’t sudden. It was pushing the boundary little by little until you boiled the frog. And now with acecourse coming up again I can all but guarantee that this cycle will happen again. So! Some things to look out for and deprogram.

All men are not inherently evil. All women are not inherently good. Masculinity isn’t inherently evil. Femininity isn’t inherently good. Queer is not a slur and is an extremely useful umbrella term for those who don’t know which label they fit under, or who don’t want a specific label. Yes, queer can still be used as a slur (I have been called queer in a derogatory way) but it is one the community has reclaimed. Trans people aren’t trying to trick you. Amab nonbinary people aren’t “lesser” than afab nonbinary people. Nonbinary is not Woman Lite. There is no such thing as a morally pure sexuality. The queer community is welcome for all who identify as queer; yes, even that person. Policing and oppression olympics is not a litmus test for “pure enough” for joining the queer community. The queer community is for Everyone. That’s it. That’s all.

#gladie talks #queer #queer history #ace/aro #discourse #ideology #please reblog

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

.

#who wants to move to a medium aized town in canada and be my house mate #i really like living alone but goddamn #I'm getting by but literally all my paycheck goes directly back into house payments and bills #i get nothing left over for any sort of personal use #getting a house mate is probably the way i need to go but i dont trust any fuckers that live in this town already #i need someone who's either lgbt or a definite ally #cause I've done the whole living with someone who doesnt accept me and i cant talk to about that sort of stuff #and it fucking kills me #i want to feel safe and accepted in my own home and i don't know anyone around here who would give me that #also must like cats but not have any pets coming with cause i have two cats and they already dont get along #if we arrange stuff right you could probably have an entire basement to yourself #kee speaks #this is half joke half serious

[jackmfvegas777]

Trans Guy Tips #4; Socially Transitioning

Now this one is a tricky one, and it's a situation almost every trans person has to go through at some point in their life, unless they stay in the closet for life, but if you're planning to come out, and you don't know how to approach the situation and don't know how to judge if it's safe, I hope I can be a reliable guide for you on this journey.

This is usually the first step in any trans person's journey, before they physically transition, (which some don't as well). However here we're talking specifically about trans men.

So while some of the things I say could apply to trans women, always remember I'm writing about trans men from a trans man's point of view, so that's the targeted demographic here.

Once I learn more about trans women's struggles and things they go through, since I don't have the personal experience of it, I will definitely write trans women articles as well, and as well non-binary people.

So let's begin, with a list of important things to keep in mind whilst coming out to the world or at least to your family and close friends.

1. Safety is everything.

Always no matter what.

A good way to test if someone is going to be safe to come out to, is to casually bring it up in in a conversation topic, something like "What are your thoughts on lgbtq people, or specifically what are your thoughts on trans people?"

If they become aggressive and violent about it, and start being transphobic or defensive or any of the signs of bigotry, do not and I mean do not come out to them yet.

If it's a parent, I'd suggest at least wait until you're of age to move out, or have moved out, to come out to them. Sometimes people will get verbally and physically violent towards you if you come out to them and they're not accepting of it, so the most important thing is to always judge the reactions of people, and if they react well, then you can come out to them.

2. Always choose trustworthy people to keep your secret whilst you're in the closet.

There's been a lot of people who trusted idiots who they thought were their friends and they ended up outing them to the whole school they were in, etc. etc. But there was a lot of stories about this happening multiple times.

Make sure the people you tell would take the secret to their grave, especially if you're in an abusive household and can't come out for fear of violence.

3. If you're in a very abusive household, especially one that's openly homophobic and transphobic, as hard it is, please wait to come out as long as you possibly can until you have a place of your own and you're safe for sure.

A lot of people have been known to kick out their own children on to the streets because of them being LGBT, or do much worse...

Now of course these are some of the worst case scenarios, but being LGBT you always have to think about every bad thing that could occur so that you can prevent it.

4. When it comes to actually coming out, I would always recommend bringing a good friend or close family member who supports you, so that you have backup, not only for them to chime in and tell their piece and defend you, but just them being there makes the other person not want to be as violent towards you, because they fear what others will think of them.

If you're coming out to an extended family member or anyone, don't trust to do it alone, always bring a good friend.

5. One of the best ways to come out that I've seen are ways that are jokey and hilarious!

It seems to smooth over and make it a much more pleasant transition for everyone, and usually even homophobic people won't get too mad, they might even laugh!

I've seen people bake cakes with the words "Surprise I'm gay!" on it, things like that.

Just little cute things that are nice to do for your parents or people you're coming out to, but make it a surprise and that you're actually lgbt!

Now remember though, always follow the first rule and make sure safety is priority, but if you know you're safe, but you're just not sure they understand, starting out with jokes helps a lot.

6. The second step you should do after coming out is always try to explain your side of the story.

If there are people who don't let you get a word in, let them know that you have important things to say and that they need to listen to you and then they can say whatever they need.

Explain how it feels to be trans, explain why you know you're trans, of course you shouldn't have to ideally, but unfortunately a lot of people won't understand unless they're given more information, as the subject is completely foreign to them.

I know my grandma specifically reacted so well, all she did was ask me questions about it, and once I answered all her questions, she hummed in satisfaction and she never questioned it again and completely accepted me.

And a lot of times you'll get people who are pretty neutral, people who will call you by your chosen name and gender but don't really totally care as much as you want them to, but they still go along with it and just kind of assume you know what's best for you, which is a really kind thing really.

I've had a few people react neutrally and it's actually relaxing, there's no pressure put on for being gay, either over positive or over negative. but I have to say as a trans person and gay person, and grey-ace person, I love the people who ask questions the most.

I don't mind answering, and it means they're trying to learn more about something they don't understand, which means they have a huge heart and huge open mind.

Some people may get annoyed at the constant questions, but I absolutely adore them.

To me, every time someone asks about me, they're showing interest in my life and my feelings.

7. Next the scientific method.

Look up on any scientific article anywhere, and you'll find studies done on trans men and women's brains.

It was shown factually multiple times, over and over, whenever they repeated it it did it again, that trans men have the same brain structure as cis men, and trans women have the same brain structure as cis women, and non-binary people have somewhere in the middle. This was factually proven, you can look it up, so if they try to use science to defend against you, educate that that science is actually for LGBT rights and has explained how it works even.

8. Try to be gentle when it comes to pronouns.

For a lot of people, especially people of foreign languages where some languages don't have genders, or will have different genders, or other things like that, or even just English speakers that aren't used to saying 'they', or your family not being used to your pronouns yet.

It can take a while, and I know it's frustrating, it could take even a few years for them to finally get it right every time.

It's not supposed to be an attack towards you, it's genuinely hard to reprogram yourself when you think someone is one thing your whole life and then it turns out they're the other thing! So be sure to be gentle with them while they're practising, remind them every time they make a mistake, but remind them gently, as they are trying to do the right thing, they're just slipping up due to habit.

In general, be patient with non-lgbt folks, if we're mad at them, it just drives them away, rather than driving them toward us to help and assist us.

We should be grateful for our allies.

9. Once you've come out and your parents probably still have questions, I would recommend sitting down and having family night where you read together some good articles about transgenderism, and LGBT+ in general.

If they're not familiar with it, this type of education can help them a lot to understand the terminology and how to address you, and basic respect for trans & lgbtq+ people.

Overall it's a learning experience for both of you, and it would be amazing to do if they're willing to learn.

Remember that it's a journey for all of us, and everyone has a lot to learn.

10. When selecting your name, I have one piece of advice/a question for you; "Does it spark joy?"

The most important thing, it doesn't matter how odd sounding it is, or differently spelled it is, or whatever your name is, if you enjoy your name, that's what matters.

Always pick the one that calls out to you.

And it's okay to change it from time to time, people need time to figure out who they are!

And with that, I conclude my fourth part!

I hope you were helped by this in any way, and thanks for reading.

#trans man #transguy #trans boy #transgender #trans ftm #ftm trans #trans male #ftm #ftm tips #transgender tips #transgender guide #ftm guide #lgbtqa #lgbtq #lgbt #trans guy tips #social transition #trans guy guide #coming out

[littlemixnet]

To me, a good ally is someone who is consistent in their efforts – there’s a difference between popping on a pride playlist or sprinkling yourself in rainbow glitter once a year and actually defending LGBT+ people against discrimination. It means showing my LGBT+ fans that I support them wholeheartedly and am making a conscious effort to educate myself, raise awareness and show up whenever they need me to. It would be wrong of me to benefit from the community as a musician without actually standing up and doing what I can to support. As someone in the public eye, it’s important to make sure your efforts are not performative or opportunistic. I’m always working on my allyship and am very much aware that I’ve still got a lot of unlearning and learning to do. There are too many what I call ‘dormant allies’, believing in equality but not really doing more than liking or reposting your LGBT+ mate’s content now and again. Imagine if that friend then saw you at the next march, or signing your name on the next petition fighting for their rights? Being an ally is also about making a conscious effort to use the right language and pronouns, and I recently read a book by Glennon Doyle who spoke of her annoyance and disappointment of those who come out and are met with ‘We love you…no matter what’. I’d never thought of that expression like that before and it really struck a chord with me. ‘No matter what’ suggests you are flawed. Being LGBT+ is not a flaw. Altering your language and being conscious of creating a more comfortable environment for your LGBT+ family and friends is a good start. Nobody is expecting you to suddenly know it all, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfect ally. I’m still very much learning. Even recently, after our Confetti music video I was confronted with the fact that although we made sure our video was incredibly inclusive, we hadn’t brought in any actual drag kings. Some were frustrated, and they had every right to be. You can have the right intentions and still fall short. As an open ally I should have thought about that, and I hadn’t, and for that I apologise. Since then I’ve been doing more research on drag king culture, because it’s definitely something I didn’t know enough about, whether that was because it isn’t as mainstream yet mixed with my own ignorance. But the point is we mess up, we apologise, we learn from it and we move forward with that knowledge. Don’t let the fear of f**king up scare you off. And make sure you are speaking alongside the community, not for the community. Growing up in a small Northern working-class town, some views were, and probably still are, quite ‘old fashioned’ and small-minded. I witnessed homophobia at an early age. It was a common thought particularly among men that it was wrong to be anything but heterosexual. I knew very early on I didn’t agree with this, but wasn’t educated or aware enough on how to combat it. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and within that space I had many LGBT+ (mainly gay) friends. I’ve been a beard many a time let me tell you! But it was infuriating to see friends not feel like they could truly be themselves. When I moved to London I felt incredibly lonely and like I didn’t fit in. It was my gay friends (mainly my friend and hairstylist, Aaron Carlo) who took me under their wing and into their world. Walking into those gay bars or events like Sink The Pink, it was probably the first time I felt like I was in a space where everyone in that room was celebrated exactly as they are. It was like walking into a magical wonderland. I got it. I clicked with everyone. My whole life I struggled with identity – being mixed race for me meant not feeling white enough, or black enough, or Arab enough. I was a ‘tomboy’ and very nerdy. I suppose on a personal level that maybe played a part in why I felt such a connection or understanding of why those spaces for the LGBT+ community are so important. One of the most obvious examples of first realising Little Mix was having an effect in the community was that I couldn’t enter a gay bar without hearing a Little Mix song and watching numerous people break out into full choreo from our videos! I spent the first few years of our career seeing this unfold and knowing the LGBT+ fan base were there, but it wasn’t until I got my own Instagram or started properly going through Twitter DMs that I realised a lot of our LGBT+ fans were reaching out to us on a daily basis saying how much our music meant to them. I received a message from a boy in the Middle East who hadn’t come out because in his country homosexuality is illegal. His partner tragically took their own life and he said our music not only helped him get through it, but gave him the courage to start a new life somewhere else where he could be out and proud. There are countless other stories like theirs, which kind of kickstarted me into being a better ally. Another standout moment would be when we performed in Dubai in 2019. We were told numerous times to ‘abide by the rules’, which meant not promoting anything LGBT+ or too female-empowering (cut to us serving a four-part harmony to Salute). In my mind, we either didn’t go or we’d go and make a point. When Secret Love Song came on, we performed it with the LGBT+ flag taking up the whole screen behind us. The crowd went wild, I could see fans crying and singing along in the audience and when we returned it was everywhere in the press. I saw so many positive tweets and messages from the community. It made laying in our hotel rooms s**tting ourselves that we’d get arrested that night more than worth it. It was through our fans and through my friends I realised I need to be doing more in my allyship. One of the first steps in this was meeting with the team at Stonewall to help with my ally education and discussing how I could be using my platform to help them and in turn the community. Right now, and during lockdown, I’d say my ally journey has been a lot of reading on LGBT+ history, donating to the right charities and raising awareness on current issues such as the conversion therapy ban and the fight for equality of trans lives. Stonewall is facing media attacks for its trans-inclusive strategies and there is an alarming amount of seemingly increasing transphobia in the UK today and we need to be doing more to stand with the trans community. Still, there is definitely a pressure I feel as someone in the public eye to constantly be saying and doing the right things, especially with cancel culture becoming more popular. I s**t myself before most interviews now, on edge that the interviewer might be waiting for me to ‘slip up’ or I might say something that can be misconstrued. Sometimes what can be well understood talking to a journalist or a friend doesn’t always translate as well written down, which has definitely happened to me before. There’ve been moments where I’ve (though well intentioned) said the wrong thing and had an army of Twitter warriors come at me. Don’t get me wrong, there are obviously more serious levels of f**king up that are worthy of a cancelling. But it was quite daunting to me to think that all of my previous allyship could be forgotten for not getting something right once. When that’s happened to me before I’ve scared myself into thinking I should STFU and not say anything, but I have to remember that I am human, I’m going to f**k up now and again and as long as I’m continuing to educate myself to do better next time then that’s OK. I’m never going to stop being an ally so I need to accept that there’ll be trickier moments along the way. I think that might be how some people may feel, like they’re scared to speak up as an ally in case they say the wrong thing and face backlash. Just apologise to the people who need to be apologised to, and show that you’re doing what you can to do better and continue the good fight. Don’t burden the community with your guilt. When it comes to the music industry, I’m definitely seeing a lot more LGBT+ artists come through and thrive, which is amazing. Labels, managements, distributors and so forth need to make sure they’re not just benefiting from LGBT+ artists but show they’re doing more to actually stand with them and create environments where those artists and their fans feel safe. A lot of feedback I see from the community when coming to our shows is that they’re in a space where they feel completely free and accepted, which I love. I get offered so many opportunities to do with LGBT+ based shows or deals and while it’s obviously flattering, I turn most of them down and suggest they give the gig to someone more worthy of that role. But really, I shouldn’t have to say that in the first place. The fee for any job I do take that feels right for me but has come in as part of the community goes to LGBT+ charities. That’s not me blowing smoke up my own arse, I just think the more of us and big companies that do that, the better. We need more artists, more visibility, more LGBT+ mainstream shows, more shows on LGBT+ history and more artists standing up as allies. We have huge platforms and such an influence on our fans – show them you’re standing by them. I’ve seen insanely talented LGBT+ artist friends in the industry who are only recently getting the credit they deserve. It’s amazing but it’s telling that it takes so long. It’s almost expected that it will be a tougher ride. We also need more understanding and action on the intersectionality between being LGBT+ and BAME. Racism exists in and out of the community and it would be great to see more and more companies in the industry doing more to combat that. The more we see these shows like Drag Race on our screens, the more we can celebrate difference. Ever since I was a little girl, my family would go to Benidorm and we’d watch these glamorous, hilarious Queens onstage; I was hooked. I grew up listening to and loving the big divas – Diana Ross (my fave), Cher, Shirley Bassey, and all the queens would emulate them. I was amazed at their big wigs, glittery overdrawn make-up and fabulous outfits. They were like big dolls. Most importantly, they were unapologetically whoever the f**k they wanted to be. As a shy girl who didn’t really understand why the world was telling me all the things I should be, I almost envied the queens but more than anything I adored them. Drag truly is an art form, and how incredible that every queen is different; there are so many different styles of drag and to me they symbolise courage and freedom of expression. Everything you envisioned your imaginary best friend to be, but it’s always been you. There’s a reason why the younger generation are loving shows like Drag Race. These kids can watch this show and not only be thoroughly entertained, but be inspired by these incredible people who are unapologetically themselves, sharing their touching stories and who create their own support systems and drag families around them. Now and again I think of when I’d see those Queens in Benidorm, and at the end they’d always sing I Am What I Am as they removed their wigs and smudged their make up off, and all the dads would be up on their feet cheering for them, some emotional, like they were proud. But that love would stop when they’d go back home, back to their conditioned life where toxic heteronormative behaviour is the status quo. Maybe if those same men saw drag culture on their screens they’d be more open to it becoming a part of their everyday life. I’ll never forget marching with Stonewall at Manchester Pride. I joined them as part of their young campaigners programme, and beforehand we sat and talked about allyship and all the young people there asked me questions while sharing some of their stories. We then began the march and I can’t explain the feeling and emotion watching these young people with so much passion, chanting and being cheered by the people they passed. All of these kids had their own personal struggles and stories but in this environment, they felt safe and completely proud to just be them. I knew the history of Pride and why we were marching, but it was something else seeing what Pride really means first hand. My advice for those who want to use their voice but aren’t sure how is, just do it hun. It’s really not a difficult task to stand up for communities that need you. Change can happen quicker with allyship.

Jade Thirlwall on the power, and pressures, of being an LGBT ally: ‘I’m gonna f**k up now and again’

#jade thirlwall #lgbt

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Idk are people blind or what? Twitter was so hot with V posting Leslie Cheung like to support LGBT people, but guys c’mon. The point is not him posting it, but him editing it two times to obviously not be interpreted in some way (I don’t say he’s homophobic, but I definitely say he JUST shared what he liked, it WAS NOT someone’s orientation, but an artistry) and in the end he just deleted it lmao. Because posting it I guess was controversial. Because he doesn’t want to “hint” at anything and because just like 75% of media persons he’s scared of whatever the hell could his fans interpret and to be an open supporter is just not the case here. Gosh, sorry, BMT, I’m just a little bit done with these pink lenses.

Anon, I am so done, you have no idea. I've been done for the past few days and it just feels like it doesn't stop. The day Tae posted that on his IG and I saw the reach from some people, I came here to provide a bit of extra information because we should have some context. I thought it wouldn't go further than that, but boy, was I wrong. So wrong. So now I'm just going to have a rant because I'm not ignoring this and it's going to be under read more cause I will have no filter whatsoever. I'm in no mood for propriety at this point and building up arguments.

So, what the actual fuck? Has the world gone mad? Of course Twitter was hot because they attach themselves to every little thing without using their brain. Tae shared a link to a scene from a movie. A movie that he likes and he did the dancing way back in Spring. But only now it has to become a thing cause probably army couldn't figure it out before where it came from. That was all. What fucking support man? What are we talking about here? All I see is stans projecting their needs onto a guy and turning him into some ally. Duude, go and find actual people who are either from the LGBTQ+ community or actual allies, instead of obsessing over this. I don't give a single fuck about threads made by people who think that just because a guy watches Call Me By Your Name or another one watches La Vie d'Adele, then they're some knights in shining armour, the face of support. The standards are so god damn low. Get out of the bubble (not you anon, I hope you understood already I'm not addressing this to you, but I'm talking in general).

There's this twitter account that I follow that focuses on BTS and cinema who apparently thought that information about Leslie Cheung's personal life is absolutely necessary to be brought to army's attention, instead of just focusing on saying what the film was, who directed it and maybe recommend other films. Are we forgetting we're dealing here with people from this kind of fandom? Full of children and immature people? And taekookers are the scum of the Earth, I don't even know what else to call them. Tagging his partner on IG, spreading a suicide note on twitter and crying about how it's such a tragic love story and so similar to Taekook? I feel like the word disgusted is not enough. No empathy and decency is left in this corner of the fandom and I'm sick of it. No one should bring that man's life in this fucking fandom. Let him rest in peace and his partner should not have to see that kind of bullshit. And this happens time and time again. Using other people's lives like it's nothing. Of course the information is out there, a click away on google. But to bring it to twitter and to create a fucking discourse around it, because some fetishizers are sick in the head is beyond anything I could imagine. That man's life should not in any way be associated with Army/Tae stans/Taekookers. And no one should fucking tag tumblr posts as well using his name in the context of this issue. His fans should not have to see such bullshit. I wish I could gatekeep it, as childish as it sounds.

And I'm not sorry at all for turning this into a personal rant. I discovered Leslie back in high school, by watching his movies and recently got back into that. He was an incredible artist and he left an important legacy. Everyone should respect that.

#asks #fucking armys and taekookers #they really know how to ruin everything #taekook

[demons-fanatic]

Luca: Fish out of Water

Hi guys, this is going to go over the literal entire movie so if you haven't seen the movie... Don't go below!

This post will be a full film analysis of Pixar's new movie, Luca and how it is clearly a Queer Allegory more than anything else.

Disclaimer: This entire post uses Queer in a reclaimed sense, especially in a sense for the entire community. If you do not like that, sorry.

So... Fish People. Luca is a 2021 Film by Pixar and distributed by Disney on Disney+. Unsurprisingly, I did not watch Luca legally and do not ever plan to, I will never give money to a homophobic tyrant such as Disney... Ever. But, I do love this Movie.

So, first things first... Does this Movie really have that much Queer subtext? Yes, it does. It really does and I think it'd be impossible to deny it. According to the Director, the intention was not to be a strictly LGBT reading, as it is just a film about people who are different. Which is true, that's exactly what this movie is about. But with certain key events and even phrases, I find it so hard for the intent not being Queer people specifically.

TL;DR Plot:

The Plot of Luca surrounds the titular Character and his friend, Alberto as they manage to explore the Surface World. Luca and Alberto are Fish People who are also able to transform into Humans once they dry off on Land. This is called "The Change" and it's unclear why this happens.

The Movie starts with Luca going to the surface and meeting Alberto, a fellow Fish Person. They begin to dream about getting a Vespa, or a Motor Scooter. Soon, Luca gets discovered by his Parents for going to the Surface and is almost sent away to the Deep Sea. He leaves and him and Alberto reach Portorossa, a town in the Italian riviera. A town that is very Anti-Fish People.

There, they meet a brattish teenager named Ercole and a younger girl named Giulia. Alberto and Luca learn about a Triathlon event in the town that will net them some money to buy a Vespa.

Giulia introduces the boys to her Father, Massimo; who is very Anti-Fish People.

They boys train and Luca's parents come to search for him. During this time, Alberto during a training session goes awry with the bike and ends up crashing into the Sea with Luca alongside him. They make it but due to a building upset nature, Alberto reveals himself but to his surprise, Luca acts like he didn't know about Alberto's nature. Leaving Alberto to leave back to his tower.

After feeling bad, Luca visits Alberto to apologize but Alberto is too upset to accept much. Luca proclaims he'll win the race to win the Vespa and the next morning he starts the Triathlon slow but builds up in performance. During this, it starts to rain. At the top of a hill, Alberto calls out to Luca but is forced to reveal himself. Luca overcomes his fear and saves Alberto and wins the race.

Though, their identities are found out, Massimo, who has grown attached to Alberto, is accepting of them and so does the town. This creates a welcoming Fish Person Environment in the town and it's also revealed not everyone who appeared human in the town was either.

Finally, Giulia is forced to go back to School, but it turns out Alberto sold the Vespa to buy a Train Ticket so Luca can go to School as he previously expressed interest in. Massimo also practically adopts Alberto. The boys embrace each other in a very impactful event and don't stop looking at each other until they get far away.

The Allegory...

So, there is a lot of detail I left out in that description but on purpose, of course. In this part I'll be detailing all of the parts that allude to Queer allegory and what it means. Of course, most people can think on their own but this is just here to describe the parts of it that stand out.

Firstly, Fish People are obviously just the LGBT community. I mean, people who have to hide their identity out of fear, especially in a fear of being killed? It's basically staring you in the face. Fish People are able to turn into Humans, which is when LGBT members have to blend in. The two Women at the end are sort of the example of LGBT members who have fully assimilated into normal Society, especially in a Homophobic or Transphobic environment or "Comphet" and being Closeted. I personally can identify with this one. Other characters like the Grandmother can be examples of LGBT people who are comfortable enough they don't feel the need to hide but also understand living is better than dying, but have "fun" with it.

Massimo is definitely an example of the Homophobes or Transphobes who wholly make it their entire personality to hate on Gay People or Transgender People but they're actually exactly like that or one of them. Of course, Massimo isn't a Fish Person but soon after it's shown in the Credits he immediately becomes very accepting especially after having to confront with himself the person he found himself attached to like his own Child, was what he once hated.

Giulia is just an example of an Ally, someone who may not be LGBT but fully supports them. Most people if they hear about how bad something is their entire life will be afraid once first faced with it but she almost immediately becomes accepting after learning Luca is also a Fish Person, trying to protect him.

The Betrayal of Luca to Alberto is a good example of internalized Homophobia and fear of also being found out. As I will describe later, Luca and Alberto are a CLEAR example of a Queer Romantic Relationship. When Alberto reveals himself, Luca found himself in a situation of extreme pressure and anxiety. He just found a life he could be potentially be living and instead of revealing himself as a Fish Person(Queer...) he instead "plays it safe" as he sees it in his mind and acts like he had no idea Alberto was a Fish Person(Queer, again...). It's something that does happen in real life, unfortunately, being outed or having people just like you, reject you, even if they are exactly like you.

The Parents of Luca are representative of Closeted People and the fear that if you out yourself, you can at any point be rejected to the point of even death. It's this fear the perpetually stagnates and personal growth. Of course, in real life there really are situations where you cannot come out for decades in fear of the same thing. And it's not like his(Luca's) parents had a reason not the fear the same.

Ercole, obviously just represents a full homophobe or transphobe. Someone who is unwilling to change and will continue to be homophobic and never question himself even when people near him are accepting. He also represents the power someone who is homophobic may have. Even if the other people who he influences aren't homophobic or transphobic.

This one is a bit rocky, but the Vespa is possible an allegory for the idealized "Vehicle" of escape... If you've seen Adolescence of Utena, it's the exact same thing. However, in this one this Vehicle is achieved but then lost, willingly. It becomes a Vehicle still in the way that it helps Alberto and Luca in their lives, finding their own Paths. It helps them both in the beginning to realize a goal of escape or betterment then near the end kicks off Luca's path and Alberto's.

Lastly, we have Luca and Alberto themselves... Now, as I said before, they are a clear representation of a Queer Relationship, specifically a Gay Relationship. You can interpret it as a Platonic Relationship, but I do it in the romantic Sense. Yes, I am aware the boys never confess ever or do anything very romantic, like kissing or holding hands. But throughout the movie, it's clear, very clear. They start out with Luca become attracted to his ideals and his mission and both of them soon form a Mission where they want to do the Vehicle of escape as I just mentioned. Soon after almost being sent away, Alberto and Luca go to Portorossa together and continue to build their relationship. Alberto and Luca defend each other and obviously care about each other. Soon after, Giulia and Luca grow a closer bond but nothing as close as Luca and Alberto. It's obvious that Alberto really likes Luca. Like, really obvious because this goes on until Alberto crashes him and Luca into the Sea and then the betrayal scene happens. During that scene it's clear that Alberto is extremely hurt, like really hurt. It reminds him that not only is he the "Bad" one in his head, the only person he thought he cared for(or loved) would willing to betray(out) him so that he can assimilate safely into Human(Heterosexual) culture. It definitely makes him feel bad and revert a bit back into a lone wolf mindset. Nearing the end, Alberto comes back nearing the end of the race with an Umbrella to help Luca win. But he ends up being tripped and revealed as a Fish Person. This is definitely just forced outing, it's quite obvious. But then Luca overcomes his fears and basically dreams of a normal life to safe his Friend(or Boyfriend, whichever you want). Luckily for them, due to Massimo seeing how much of a good person Alberto is, instead of attacking the boys, he accepts them as he realizes they're nothing like he thought. On the movies' downside, the town does fortunately accept the boys and all the Fish People. This isn't really realistic in any sense but, it does just explain a theory of mass acceptance if one let goes of their prejudice. The Grandmother in the following scene also explains a perfect Queer-like line:

"Some people will accept him, some never will. But he knows how to find the good ones." (Not an exact quote...)

I think to anyone who is in a marginalized group, specifically LGBT for this case, will relate to this line. It's very basic, but means a lot. It's also a strong reason why I feel like despite everything officially said, with everything else, this IS a Queer intended allegory.

Finally, the end scene at the Train is a good one and explains how Alberto and Luca after finding themselves and growing as people, they find their own way and are happy about it. Alberto and Luca hug, devastated at the fact they have to leave each other, even temporarily. It's sad and very real. Leaving your lover even for the betterment of yourself is extremely heartbreaking and you don't think you can do it at first, especially if you've been through a lot together.

Final Thoughts

So, I know I am not the only one that has seen everything I just said. In fact, the film's popularity right now seems to be exactly because of that. Not to mention the Movie's visuals are fantastic as well as the music.

You don't have to view this as a Queer reading, but I find it almost impossible not to and I, again, am not the only one. You can view it as basically any marginalized group, especially the ones that have to keep their identity hidden. I do think it's great this movie can bring a good allegory and subtext about a possible Gay MLM Relationship even if unintentional. I know Disney would not allow it, but I hope in the planned sequels they do a bit more of subtext. Of course, not to the point of Queerbait. But, we'll see. I think that Pixar has an amazing opportunity to try and slip by the censors... But probably not. It is good, though, that the director openly accepts a Queer Reading, so we're not left in the dark with someone trying to deny all Queerness.

_________

If you read this, thanks! I might update this post with more or edit it to clear things up. If you want to follow me, go ahead. But I just normally do Soulsborne lore posts so you won't find much here. I am not a Pixar or Disney person either, I just did this so I can talk about gay fish.

#Luca #Disney Luca #Pixar Luca #Disney #Pixar

[realcube]

Ok but hc for what type of girl the pretty setter squad+yamaguchi they would date.

Thanks and have a nice day!💖🥺

yes!! i love the pretty setter squad but like i don’t have too many hcs to make this a whole thing so i feel like the following title is necessary:

characters: pretty setter squad + yamaguchi

trigger warning: swearing, somewhat crack, sexual references (these are just my opinions/hcs btw - plz don’t take it too seriously)

tobio kageyama

♡ i will preach this till the day i die and ik y’all are probably tired of writing all my reader inserts for kageyama x reader one-shots like this but yk what tobio wants- you know what tobio needs and deserves- the female equivalent of oikawa tōru

♡ if her favourite food ain’t milk bread and her personal motto isn’t ‘if you’re gonna hit it then it it till it breaks’ then HE DOESN’T WANT IT /j

♡ but he’d like someone who cares about their appearance, is passionate about something like he is, fairly smart, witty and kinda a heartthrob 

♡ bonus points if it’s a sport that they are passionate about

♡ i feel like he’d be into just like a typical ‘girly girl’ yk?

♡ also he has a soft spot for acrylic nails- he just thinks they look so cool and if he saw yours he’d definitely call them ‘badass’

♡ he thinks they are kinda impractical for volleyball so that’s why he doesn’t get them himself (plus they are expensive as hell and he only has milk box money)

♡ so yeah he would date an oikawa kinnie 

♡ overall, i think he just wants someone independent who can take care of themselves 

♡ except when you can’t open the tab of your coke bc of your acrylics, then he is happy to help

tadashi yamaguchi

♡ i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again; YAMAGUCHI IS A LESBIAN

♡ ok now that i’ve got your attention, let me explain what this means and what it has to do with this taste in girls

♡ he fell down the wlw pipeline- if that’s a thing

♡ like while the gang were watching sjw get rekt compilations, yamaguchi was watching hayley kiyoko music videos and lgbt short films on youtube-

♡ now imagine that scene were babey yamaguchi was getting bullied except they were teasing him bc he said his favourite song was girls like girls RGTYGJKMN 

♡ anyway, till this day, he is watching cottagecore lesbian tiktoks (minecraft and irl) while others watch ben shapiro it is such a shame 

♡ he doesn’t fetishize them though- it’s just his ideal lifestyle 

♡ he’s developed the mind of a wlw tho so i think his thoughts are similar to mine in a way that he’s just like ‘WOMEN 😍🥰💓’ all the time 24/7

♡ so yeah this was my elongated way of saying that yamaguchi doesn’t really have type, all women are queens in his eyes

♡ but in an ideal world, his s/o would be an ally of the lgbtq+ community, if not apart of it, stan any wlw singer/band (preferably kpop), won’t yell at him 🥺 and are willing to run away with him to a cottage in the woods at any given moment 

kōshi sugawara

♡ his taste isn’t very specific but here are some things he looks for in partner:

♡ either likes baking or likes eating what he bakes and giving him feedback

♡ has long eyelashes/wears lashes (he thinks they are cute and ik you do too don’t even lie)

♡ oh and shiny lipgloss too 

♡ very good communicator 😌

♡ a simp

♡ someone who likes gardening or is at least willing to try pick it up to help him with his herbs

♡ will do facemasks with him

♡ intelligence; he will literally bust a nut for someone who can recite newton’s third law of motion 😩 

♡  and honesty ✨ (bc he needs to be told when his hair looks wack plz) 

kenma kuzome

♡ plz he needs a catgirl 

♡ like your typical anime catgirl

♡ bushy tail, high + soft voice, big eyes, even bigger honkers, maybe a tsundere, cat ears, purs and gives good head ✨

♡...

♡ I WAS JUST INFORMED THAT CAT GIRLS DO NOT EXIST AND I AM BOTH DISGUSTED AND DISAPPOINTED BEYOND BELIEF 

♡ me and kenma are never leaving our rooms again istg what is even the point anymore if ik that i won’t meet a catgirl 😭

♡ so yeah, if he were to date someone who isn’t a cat girl, they’d probably have to be a human equivalent or like.. a gamer

♡ a streamer maybe 

tōru oikawa

♡ he also doesn’t have a specific type but here are some of his turn offs:

♡ kageyama tobio 

♡ kageyama tobio kinnies

♡ people who think he’s too obsessed with volleyball and is incapable of loving anything/anyone else

♡ laziness

♡ ppl who’ve got a FAT fucking ass 😡 (jealousy ofc)

♡ ushijima stans

♡ bad breath 🤢

♡ppl who don’t know every word of primadonna girl by marina

♡ horse girls 

♡ aries (he’d still date an aries but he will tease you for it. if you ever mess something up like you drop a glass and it spills water everywhere he’ll just side-eye you like ‘that’s classic aries behaviour, ofc’)

keiji akaashi

♡ you 

♡ literally you 

♡ he doesn’t have a type but if he did, it would be you 

♡ bc you’re reading hcs on tumblr rn and as yk, he’s a bookworm

♡ (and i believe wholeheartedly that he read fanfic/hcs on tumblr too. probably harry potter/hunger games) 

♡ and also you’re reading his hcs which means you like him and he’s lost himself to unrequited love too many times so at least he knows you’re interested

♡ so yeah you check all the boxes:

☑ fanfic reader/bookworm

☑ watches anime

☑ pretty

☑ sweet

☑ actually likes him 

eita semi

♡ big tiddy goth gf with thick eyeliner, dyed hair and chains

♡ big tiddy isn’t necessary - he doesn’t objectify women ✨

♡ but anyway, they should also be willing to step on his throat and break all his bones with their demonias, upon being asked politely 

♡ spit in his mouth plz 🙏

♡ also an elite music is a must for him

♡ oh! and they should be willing to share their clothes/accessories with him (he’ll share his too ofc)

♡ a few other things he likes are: piercings, those little eyeliner hearts under the eyes, pink blush, thick eyebrows, black/dark purple lipstick, guitarist, drummers, singers (literally any sort of musician), platform shoes, alternative fashion in general, ppl who do DIYs, ppl who sew & ppl who cut/dye their own hair

♡ oh and like suga he is a slut for intelligence 

♡ and for powerful/confident women !!

♡ don’t get that confused with financial power-

♡ like proper powerful ppl that flick off a bigot on sight 

#tobio x you #oikawa toru x reader #akaashi x you #akaashi headcanons #kenma x y/n #semi eita #yamaguchi x reader #sugawara imagine #sugawara headcanon #tobio headcanons #oikawa headcanons #eita x reader #kenma headcanons #kenma x you #yamaguchi headcanons #pretty setter squad #notenoughcube

[fallingsunflower]

https://sunflowerdiscussion.tumblr.com/post/678177453918797825/sorry-for-the-rant-i-just-read-the-mp-reviews-from

I, too, wonder how they're gonna frame it, especially after years of denying it and with the "womanizer" image.. I want Harry to be happy in his own skin and come out whenever he's ready, and I just hope that he is by the release of the movie.

As a queer person myself.. idk how I would feel if they're just gonna give it the big ol' "he's just an ally", that will really rub me the wrong way. Even going with unlabeled is better than doing that.

I'm definitely not saying he owes us anything either, or that he needs to come out as something, but at this point he might kind of have to with whatever it is that he identifies as, otherwise it might really hurt his image in the long run and lose him so much credibility (because at this point the role could've gone to someone LGBT+ when we already barely get any roles aside from stereotypes) and I don't think I could handle another round of closeting and denying when he does that. when he holds the flags and screams freedom, when he plays a gay character, when he literally sings about having a crush on some girl's boyfriend. I don't care who he's with either whether it be louis or a guy he met in the supermarket sometime or someone he met online, but I just want all the lies to end, including holivia. I want the entire Harry Styles™ era to end. it just :/ idk.

sorry for the rant, mod, I'm just tired.

It's all good. I get where you're coming from! I see all sides to this so I'm kind of torn with my opinion, and therefore my response. I don't really want to look too too much into it but I suppose we'll have a better idea of where to go after the movie and promo comes out

in regards to this

[fandom-pardes]

According to halacha, which actions are Azula liable for?

Reposted from my Tumblr.

One of my favorite ways to study Jewish texts is to take a fictional character or situation and examine it through the lens of Jewish text and tradition.

I’ve done this before with ABC’s Once Upon A Time. Now I’m going to take up this exercise again with Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Before I begin, a few things to keep in mind.

I’m not a Talmud scholar.

There is no definitive Jewish Opinion™ about any issue pertaining to halacha. Unanimous opinions on halacha are so rare that when we find one, we assume something went wrong in the process..

Azula is a morally polarizing character in AtLA fandom. Regardless of who you ask, you’re bound to get some strong opinions about exactly what she’s done, the extent to which she’s responsible for it, and what this says about her morality or lack thereof. I’m not going to rehash those arguments. I think I’ve made it clear that I care less about whether people approve of her behavior than I do about how their statements about her reinforce harmful messages about women, people of color, LGBT people and mentally ill people.

Nevertheless, she’s incredibly interesting, and studying Jewish text is fun, so here we are.

Why examine Azula’s actions through the lens of halacha?

Halacha gets a lot of flack because it comes off as excessively legalistic. But, in my opinion, that’s based on a misunderstanding of what halacha is. Usually translated as “Jewish law,” the word halacha actually comes from the root word that means “to go/walk.”

Halacha is not a collection of rules for the sake of having rules. It’s meant to take us somewhere. You can write a library of books about exactly what that is and what it means. But for the sake of simplicity, halacha is how we show that we recognize the holiness of everything in creation. So we aim to do right by one another, by the land we live in and by the creatures we share this world with.

Before we can launch into examining the halachic ramifications of the things Azula does, we need to establish some boundaries.

Only the show counts. It’s the common frame of reference universally accepted by the vast majority of fandom. Fandom’s stances on the comics, novelizations and other tie-in materials are too variable to base an analysis on.

Word of God is immaterial. While some would use the phrase Death of the Author, Jewish tradition has a more entertaining take on it. In the Talmud, there’s a dispute between Rabbi Eliezer and some of his peers. In that story, Rabbi Eliezer says that if he’s right, this or that miraculous thing would happen, and those miraculous things do happen. But the other rabbis still reject it because we don’t determine halacha by miraculous signs. Eventually, God parts the heavens and says, “Rabbi Eliezer is right.” But another rabbi responds, “The Torah is not in heaven,” meaning that the Torah was meant for human beings on earth to interpret for themselves. And God’s response? To smile and say, “My children have defeated Me.”

Now, let’s begin.

Is Azula bound by halacha?

She’s not Jewish, so no. However, all human beings are bound by the Noahide laws. For the sake of argument, let’s say that the Noahide covenant applies to all humans on all worlds. According to the Talmud (Sanhedrin 56a.24):

Since the halakhot of the descendants of Noah have been mentioned, a full discussion of the Noahide mitzvot is presented. The Sages taught in a baraita: The descendants of Noah, i.e., all of humanity, were commanded to observe seven mitzvot: The mitzva of establishing courts of judgment; and the prohibition against blessing, i.e., cursing, the name of God; and the prohibition of idol worship; and the prohibition against forbidden sexual relations; and the prohibition of bloodshed; and the prohibition of robbery; and the prohibition against eating a limb from a living animal.

What is Azula’s legal status?

In any case, we know the rules, and now we have to decide whether Azula broke them or not, right?

Not so fast.

First, we have to determine if Azula is of the appropriate legal status to be held accountable for upholding the Noahide laws. In other words: when she committed certain acts, was Azula an adult capable of making rational decisions?

Clear your mind of the idea that being an adult is the same as being a grownup. Instead, think of it as a term that defines when people can make legally binding decisions.

As far as I can tell, the Talmud doesn’t say when a gentile becomes an adult. However, we can use halacha as a guide.

Now for a warning.

If frank talk about the physical development of adolescents makes you uncomfortable, you might want to skip this next part. There’s nothing graphic or titillating about what I’m going to discuss, but if breasts and pubic hair squick you out, skip this part until I say it’s safe in bold like this.

According to halacha, a girl reaches adulthood when she’s twelve years and one day old and has two pubic hairs. Yeah, you read that right. Twelve and two pubes are the requirement. Before this point, nothing she does is legally binding, even if she’s really smart and claims to be fully aware of what she’s doing. After this point, her actions are legally binding, even if she says she had no idea what she was doing.

On the show, we see Azula in a range of ages. In “Zuko Alone,” we see her at roughly eight years old. In “The Storm,” she’s about eleven. In all the other episodes she’s in, she’s fourteen. So, from a legal standpoint, flashback!Azula is too young for her actions to be legally binding. At that point in time, the responsibility would fall to her parents.

Um, I’m not willing to speculate about the genitals of an underage cartoon character, so for the sake of argument, I’m assuming that 14-year-old Azula meets the two pubes requirement. Thus, 14-year-old Azula is responsible for her actions.

If you skipped that last part, it’s safe to continue now.

OK, we’ve established that flashback!Azula is too young for her actions to be legally binding, but in the main story, Azula is legally an adult and responsible for her actions.

We good? Alright.

Which Noahide laws does Azula actually break?

This is both easier and harder than it seems.

The laws about idol worship, cursing God, and forbidden sexual acts don’t apply to her because neither religion nor sex are portrayed as such on the show. Also, the law about establishing courts of justice is a communal obligation, not one that falls on a single individual, so that’s another one we don’t have to concern ourselves with.

That leaves the prohibitions against bloodshed, robbery and eating a limb cut from a living animal.

First up: bloodshed.

The connotation of the prohibition against bloodshed is not for general acts of violence, but actual murder.

Here’s where I think I’m going to throw a lot of people for a loop. Azula doesn’t kill anyone on the show. She tries. She comes close. She wouldn’t lose sleep over it if she did. But nobody’s dead because of her. She doesn’t even take lives as collateral damage.

One could argue that zapping Aang with lightning counts as killing, but when the Sages talk about death and dying, I assume they mean the kind where the dead stay dead, not people who are revived by magic spirit water. Furthermore, if someone’s about to kill you (and I think entering the Avatar State qualifies here), you are halachically obligated to save your own life, even if it means killing that person.

Second: robbery.

We’ll come back to that.

Third: eating a limb from a living animal.

This prohibition is often expanded to incorporate all forms of animal cruelty.

The show does portray animal cruelty. We see a prime example with the circus in “Appa’s Lost Days.”

But what about Azula? We don’t see her interact with many animals on the show, but there are two notable examples: Appa the sky bison in “Appa’s Lost Days” and Bosco the bear in “The Crossroads of Destiny.”

How does her behavior measure up? Despite her earlier behavior of terrorizing turtleducks, Azula does not harm either Appa or Bosco.

On the show, Mai and Ty Lee are seen spending time with Bosco in the throne room while the Earth King is imprisoned. So, at the very least, they treat the bear well.

So, Azula is not liable for animal cruelty.

*hands Azula her Not As Big A Jerk As She Could Have Been award*

Now, let’s revisit that prohibition against robbery.

Given the prescribed punishment (decapitation), the connotation seems to be taking the rightful property of another through violent means. That being said, the prohibition against robbery is often extended to include all sorts of theft.

This one might have some legs. On the show, does Azula take the rightful property of another, and does she use violent means to do so?

Absolutely.

A major example is stealing the clothes of the Kyoshi Warriors after defeating them in combat.

But!

The show takes place during a time of war, and the Kyoshi Warriors, as allies of the Avatar, are enemies of the Fire Nation. So does beating them up and taking their uniforms fall under the prohibition against robbery, or are the Kyoshi Warrior uniforms considered the spoils of war and thus free for the taking?

Halachically speaking, it might actually be the latter. When fighting the Kyoshi Warriors, Azula acts as a military commander during a time of war and achieves a decisive victory against an elite combat unit. Thus, she is entitled to take their stuff.

So, back to the original question: which actions does Azula commit during the show that she’s halachically liable for?

The answer, shockingly, may be: none.

On the show, we’re encouraged to think of Azula as a Very Bad Girl who does Very Bad Things. She’s calculating, ruthless and deceptive. She’s also full of herself. She’s not someone who inspires warm, fuzzy feelings in most people. But when you put her actions under the microscope, she exercises remarkable restraint compared to what she’s capable of.

Don’t worry. No one’s going to nominate her for a Nobel Peace Prize just yet. This is Azula we’re talking about. She’s not acting out of an overwhelming love for humanity. But it is interesting that despite her threats to kill, maim and destroy, she doesn’t participate in wanton destruction or wasteful loss of life.

#azula #atla meta #jewish meta

[lemystical-puffle]

My A3 Sexuality Headcanons that no one asked for!

[These won’t include Gender, only sexual orientation or lack thereof(is that a phrase?)]

Color coordination

Gay

Bi

Pan

Aro

Hetero

Sakuya Sakuma: Pansexual! He doesn’t have any preferences, honestly after his childhood he just wants someone who will love and accept him!

Masumi: Bisexual. I feel like he would love the director whether they be boy, girl, other, all, he just wants someone to give him attention, and that person just happened to be out beloved Izumi Tachibana.

Tsuzuru: okay this ones me projecting but whatever Aro/Ace Tsuzuru. He doesn’t feel romantic attraction, and instead just feels a family-brotherly kind of love towards his friends and fellow actors. He doesn’t really want to romantically be with someone, and yet instead just wants to be there for them when they need it and love them the same way he loves his family at home

Citron: Also pan!! But Pan-Romantic specifically. Citron literally just wants to love everyone ever because he’s just awesome like that, but won’t go pass kissing someone. It just makes him uncomfortable which is perfectly fine because he is Citron Lastname! But yeah, also no gender prefermance

Itaru: Bi with a male preference. I can’t really explain why I think this, I just do. Maybe because most of the woman he has ever shown interest in are his 2D anime waifus. Also I mean come on he totally had a whole thing for Lancelot he thinks knights are hot and that is so valid.

Chikage: he is a gay cabbage. Listen the only time he has said he liked a woman it was because he said they weren’t like his mom and I am just- I’m sorry I don’t trust that. This man is a gay, he is never had a boyfriend but he has definitely thought of hooking up with his boss for a raise, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Tenma: Also bi! Bi-Ace specifically. I wasn’t really sure where to put him because on one hand I feel like he has a lot of MLM energy but on the other hand his solo song so I just, bi. I feel like his gay awakening came when he played the token gay best friend in a romcom because gay actor erasure but Tenma didn’t really understand, but later he was in a scene where he was with his boyfriend who shows up for one second to remind the audience he’s a homosexual and Tenma was just: crap he’s not

Yuki: okay at first I didn’t know what to put for Yuki cause on one hand sexuality erasure Yuki has specifically said he likes girl and he defies stereotypes and stuff but on the other hand he never said he didn’t like boys so he’s bi with a female preference. I feel like Yuki is the kind of guy to just happen to fall in love with whoever and just go “oh crap did I just fall in love?” And while he likes girls more sometimes it just. Happens.

Muku: Surprise surprise he’s Pan! Muku totally reads shoujo manga with all sexualities and is very livid about good representation, will write a “negative review” (and in Muku terms that’s him being very polite, 4.5/5 stars and linking research resources) about how inaccurate a sexuality was portrayed. I feel like at first he just thought he was a very active ally and now he is just: “oh crap boys. And girls. And enbys. And genderfluids. And everyone.”

Misumi: Misumi is very homosexual, which at first he was sad about because homosexual has 2 o’s which are circles but then he realized he can just say gay but spell it like: G🔺Y so he got happy again. I feel like it was one of the reasons he was kicked out of his home, he just likes boys Jeez Ikaruga parents no rights. (I also Headcanon him as autistic but that’s not what this post is about).

Kazunari: In Kazunari Miyoshi’s world he never has to make a decision in his life and that includes sexuality. Show him a guy and a girl and tell him to pick one and he will simply overload until he picks the person who knows the most trivia on classical art or smthing. Kazunari just: adores everyone ever, and that’s okay! After a lot of internalized homophobia and fear, he was able to come out to first a small group of college friends and eventually felt comfortable with the label and was able to express it openly, now he wears it with pride!

Kumon: I really don’t have any explaining to go here, Kumon just feels gay to me. My head can’t wrap around him wanting to be intimate with a girl. I do think there was this big moment of him coming out to Juza and Juza just going “s’okay.” Then they hug and get ice cream

Banri: Banri is bisexual with a straight pride flag and a Juza Preference. Catch him at the straight pride parade telling “those Homo’s that they’re going to burn.” While making out with Juza against a wall. That’s canon I don’t take criticism

Juza: Also Gay, I feel like Kumon came out first and Juza did research and was like “oh me too.” And just thought about how he’s never actually liked a girl and thought boys were kinda pretty and oh crap Settsu slicked his hair back oh crap oh crap pretty men.

Taichi: Taichi is bisexual, with his preferences being as random as his hair. Except no weird 1/4 quarters going on. Idk where I was going with that analogy I’m sorry. Taichi just likes the humans and wants to go kiss kiss with them all, and then bring them along on his journey for fame and popularity!

Omi: Listen, Omi is the mother of Mankai, and as the mother he loves everyone unconditionally. He also totally wanted to kiss Nachi I’m sorry. I feel like Omi has a male preference, but only by a bit as he loves everyone! He is a good boy and brings all the snacks and water to the pride parades so his friends stay healthy :)

Sakyo: Sakyo is the straight~ supportive dad who doesn’t care if you’re gay straight bi pan anything as long as you pay your taxes. Was probably a little confused at first just because. Probably said “LGBT? Isn’t that a sandwich.” But he got informed did research and is now a huge ally! After more research he identifies specifically as graysexual/romantic as he feels rarely any romantic attraction at all unless under certain circumstances aka Izumi Tachibana. I akso think he suspected that Azami was LGBT for a bit before he came out so he wanted to do research so that Azami would feel comfortable coming out when he was ready. Also he can’t like, not support Sakoda (who I Headcanon as gay :) )

Azami: Azami is bi-aro. Sex? Nah he won’t even hold your hand before marriage, however he will love you no matter your gender. I also see him with a female preference just from his straight upbringing and it’s the title he feels most comfortable with after some internalized homophobia, especially with how his dad shamed him for liking makeup. He is still getting used to the LGBT community and I feel like he is still taking baby steps, learning about different identities and wanting to do all he can to support both himself and his fellow actors due to simply not knowing where to start. Don’t worry Azami take you’re time! There is no rush, you are trying to figure yourself out and we all love you so much for it, there is no shame in changing your mind later. We adore you all the same. (If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t only talking to Azami. If you are still questioning yourself it is 100% okay, because honestly I am too. There is no rush to figure yourself out, and I hope you know that we are all here for you!)

Tsumugi: Tsumugi is gay, but I feel like he also had a lot of internalized homophobia. I feel like when he was younger he really liked Tasuku but didn’t really understand the difference between platonic and romantic, and it took some time before he was able to really discover himself and come to the identity he has currently.

Tasuku: Tasuku is gay and homophobic.

Hisoka: Hisoka is homo-demi-romantic asexual. I feel like it won’t want to date anyone without really earning their trust and feeling safe around them, and after that point he still will be pretty shy romantically, but it is very much understandable and we all still love Hisoka

Homare: Homare is pan. He doesn’t really care about gender, he just wants someone who will love him and his poetry without seeing him as broken. I feel like after his last relationship he was hesitant to date again, but after some time and help from the rest of winter troupe he was able to rediscover himself. (Also autistic Homare go brrrr)

Azuma: Azuma is an old gay man who just thinks boobs are neat. That’s it that’s the post sent tweet turn off replies.

Guy: New color who this? This is because I didn’t know what to put for Guy, so he simply doesn’t identify as anything. I don’t know a lot about Guy but I know enough to feel like relationships would be very awkward and touchy for him due to his problems with emotions and expression. He isn’t straight, but he doesn’t really identify as anything either. He’s just: Guy. Which is more than valid

[oh also all of winter is Poly and they’re boyfriends thanks for coming to my Ted talk]

Hope you all liked these! Of course they are all my own opinion and you don’t have to agree with all, they’re just how I feel!! Feel free to reply or reblog with your own opinions or Headcanons!!

#a3! #a3 #a3game #a3! act addict actors #sakuya sakuma #masumi usui #tsuzuru minagi #citron #itaru chigasaki #chikage utsuki #tenma sumeragi #yuki rurikawa #muku sakisaka #misumi ikagura #kazunari miyoshi #kumon hyodo #banri settsu #juza hyodo #taichi nanao #omi fushimi #sakyo furuichi #azami izumida #tsumugi tsukioka #tasuku takato #hisoka mikage #homare arisugawa #azuma yukishiro #guy #sexuality Headcanons

[bitch-in-a-bag]

can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?

in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.

i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.

I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.

I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.

I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.

if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!

and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.

so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.

my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.

I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.

is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.

I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.

It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.

That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.

as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.

in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.

it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.

as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.

Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.

It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.

And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.

Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.

Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.

we've gone full circle, and it's not right.

#trans rights #homosexuality #human rights #lgbt #lgbt community #trans #tw: rape #transphobia

[violettomcat]

Hi! I'm running a server for a nonprofit that helps trans youth and working on explaining sexualities and gender identities through research and I thought I'd ask a bi person/someone who seems to strive for bi advocacy about how to define bisexuality and what the difference is between bisexuality and pansexuality. I totally understand if you can't answer this by the way, just thought I'd ask ^^ I also apologize for the spam, I'm reblogging stuff I need to research later

Good to meet you! This will be a long post, please be prepared!

What is the Difference Between Bisexuality and Pansexuality?

First, we need to talk about Bisexuality and it’s history.

Bisexuality is an identity that is rooted in reclamation. Bisexuality was coined by the same man who coined homosexuality and sadism in Psychopathia Sexualis, by which bisexuality was described as a sexual deviancy and dysfunction. Someone “suffering from bisexual tendencies” was a person who was intimate with both men and women, those genders being what the standard was in 1886.

Bisexual has also referred to androgynous and intersex characteristics, as well as a way to describe co-ed spaces. In fact, even today on the Purdue OWL page for Queer Theory, Bisexual’s definition is that of androgyny instead of an identity.

Bisexuality, then, has had over 100 years of definitions and meanings and connotations. As early as the 1950s, bisexual was reclaimed for use as an identity (up until this point, Ambisexual was often used, though there were references to bisexuality as well). That’s also over 70 years of erasure, misunderstanding, and biphobia. Historically, bisexuals have been at the forefront of the gay rights movements, but were often banned from joining groups. Even at the peak of bisexual activism in the 1970s, bisexuals struggled to find acceptance and visibility.

Since the 1970s, and even in Alfred Kinsey’s famous 1948/1953 studies that developed the Kinsey Scale, bisexuality has been described as either not having a preference in one gender or as an attraction to all genders. And of course, bisexual activists have also defined it as such.

We are in a day and age in which non-binary people have more visibility than ever. It has introduced to us the concepts of nombinary sexual identities, which range from non-binary exclusive terms like trixic, to non-binary lesbians. It depends on the individual, and their alignment (or lack thereof) to decide where they fall, of course. But the existence of non-binary people makes room in pre-existing identities for additional definitions.

Bisexual has never really meant “two genders” or “men and women”. Like non-binary, bisexual describes tens of thousands of experiences and attractions. It describes preferences, and it simultaneously describes lack of preferences. Many activists will tell you that bisexuality isn’t binary, which refers both to it not being a system of “two” and also not being “men and women”. So even if you define bisexuality as “attraction to any two genders” you will be speaking over bisexuals of years past, and present.

I am bisexual, and non-binary. I’m attracted to all genders, and so are most bisexuals.

Bisexuality refers to being attracted to all or (most) genders, in my opinion. I often say it exactly like that to others. Because I do meet bisexuals who have fallen under the “most genders”. Don’t use “two” in your definition at all (even for “two or more”), or “more than one”. Especially because non-binary lesbians and gay and straight non-binary people exist!

Now, on to pansexuality! This is also a shortened version because tumblr still limits lines on posts and I don’t wanna push it.

Pansexual is also a reclaimed term. It’s been through a lot as well. Pansexual had many meanings, including a state of genderlessness (as in, no assigned sex) as referred to in The Dialectic of Sex: The Case For Feminist Revolution by Shulamith Firestone. It was also used to refer to androgyny, mostly with regards to David Bowie and Mick Jagger (this is best noted in this Atlantic article for Mick). Pansexuality has also been defined as a sort of unhinged promiscuousness, as well as “the eroticization of all social relations”. The term “pansexual pervert” comes up in many, many writing pieces predating 1990 which is just terrible.

One of the earliest “other” versions of pansexual to be used was by Alice Cooper in a 1974 interview. To him, pansexual was being down for anything with anyone, across age, race, and gender (x).

In 2005, a GLBT ally guide was printed defining Pansexuality as a “term of choice for people who do not self-identify as bisexual, finding themselves attracted to people across a spectrum of genders”. Interestingly, bisexual was defined as an attraction to “both” males and females. You’ll notice that the definitions for gay men and lesbians only use “men” or “women” and don’t use biological terms. The glossary begins at page 63 (x). One could argue that this is because of an intersexist belief that regardless of your gender, you’re either male or female, hence bisexuality being described those terms as well as “both”, which implies there are only two of something.

Pansexuality has had a more recent start. And many will say that it was born from a misinterpretation of bisexuality. It has gone through some particularly uncomfortable iterations, including the definition of “attraction to men, women, and trans people”, to “caring more about personality than gender”. Both of these imply that lesbians, gay people, and bisexuals, and straight people, are incapable of loving or being trans/non-binary people as well as caring about more than gender.

I am not the best person to speak on Pansexuality because I do hold the belief that it often encourages people to treat bisexuality as a cis/regressive/binarist label from my own personal experiences as well as the communities online. I won’t speak on that here from now on though. Below is an infographic I found while doing some research for this ask. It’s blatant misinformation (again, with the bi means two thing and not knowing bisexual history). Please don’t do this or show these types of things. This is the exact wrong thing to say!

Anyways, back to the discussion.

So how are they different?

Pansexuality is more often nowadays described as an attraction to all genders. Bisexuality is also an attraction to all genders.

Well, you might think, “That infographic says the difference is that bisexuals have a gender preference”.

Please keep in mind that preferences of any kind do NOT make or break a sexuality. Liking green eyes doesn’t make you a verdeoculosexual, nor does liking tall people make you an acrosexual.

To say that a person is only bisexual because they have a preference for a gender is essentially recycling “bisexuals pick a side” biphobia. The same with “not caring” about gender. It implies everyone else is picky and debase others to their body parts.

The truth is, they aren’t different fundamentally. Bisexuality is an older label. It has more interpretations, including transphobic ones (like “cis men and women”). Pansexuality as a label is fairly new but is growing in use. It has many interpretations, some of which are harmful to other groups in the LGBT community.

Both really need historical context when teaching about them. Especially bisexuality! Obviously if you’re working with minors, only some things need to be mentioned. All in all, education about their histories is what will help people decide what’s right for them, and ensure they won’t mistreat others or treat others rudely because of misconceptions.

#long post #q word #q slur #LONG LONG POST #the vs debate #bisexual history

[jackmfvegas777]

Trans Guy Tips #6; A GUIDE FOR ALLIES: ON HOW TO TREAT TRANS PEOPLE RESPECTFULLY, FROM A TRANS MAN HIMSELF

1. Just simply treat us like regular human beings. This means don't be assholes, and don't be fetishizers.

Trans people are just like anyone, their brain just happened to form in a different way than their body did in the womb.

If you treat them with the same respect that you treat everyone else, you're doing right.

Don't be that person who asks if they had surgery, and what their genitals look & looked like, and all those personal questions that are maaaybe well meaning but come off creepy as fuck.

2. Take their name & pronouns seriously!!

If someone is trans, even if they don't look like the gender they are, try not to ever misgender them.

This can be mental anguish for a lot of people who are trans.

There are a lot of trans people who look perfect, yes, but there are also a lot of trans people who don't pass whatsoever.

If you just support the beautiful trans people and not the unconventionally attractive ones, that counts as transphobia because it implies they're not real men / women unless they look like them exactly.

And it's okay if you mess up on their pronouns and/or name sometimes, it's just an accident.

The only time you're an asshole is if you're doing it on purpose to be mean.

3. Ask questions!

The most important thing you can do is gain as much knowledge on the subject as you can.

Do this by researching yourself, and also by talking to the person, and asking them about any questions or confusions you have.

Almost all of the time no one minds being asked, and you are in fact showing you respect them and want to know how to show them your respect.

4. A nice thing to do that's become very popular as of late, is when meeting someone, asking their pronouns.

Such as she/her/hers, he/him/his, and they/them/theirs.

This way you never misgender someone by accident, and it shows that you're friendly to those who are trans.

You can even support this movement yourself by not only doing this, but also putting your own pronouns in your biography on social media, spreading the likelihood of people putting more in, which means way more people get gender fulfilled and makes it a common thing to give strangers respect of their gender!

5. This is yet the most important rule of all.

Don't be a coward.

Stand up to injustice when you see it, no matter what.

If a trans or gay or otherwise LGBT+ person is being bullied, attacked, r*ped, or anything of the sort, either help them yourself quickly or get help for them as soon as possible, and speak up loudly, protecting them whilst also not drowning out their own voice and their experiences. I've known some trans people who have cried after I defended them online from hateful people, and as a fellow trans person I know that feeling.

The feeling of someone having your back,even a stranger, can mean so much.

Also stand up for LGBT+ people even when no one is listening. Even when a single person that's LGBT+ isn't there.

Stand up for them always, not just conditionally.

This rule is important to me personally, due to one of my ex-best friends, at the time best friend, letting me get harshly abused verbally by someone who is transphobic in their family, and they stood around and did nothing whilst I cried.

That's pretty much a textbook case of what not to do. Lol.

6. When you notice they're feeling dysphoric about their bodies, try and remind them of the traits that they like and the traits that they will have in the future (if they go on HRT that is)

things like calling them 'handsome', 'dude', 'bro', 'milady', 'miss', all these different nicknames can be cathartic for trans people who might have never been called those terms before, or very rarely.

Obviously you're not expected to know every whim of your trans friend, or any friend, but if you see them actively upset, this is a very sweet thing to do that can cheer them up very quickly.

7. Even if you do not understand it at all, and can't comprehend the transgender concept whatsoever, please try your best to think of where your loved one is coming from.

Sometimes it's hard to see the pain they go through, so you may assume nothing is going on, and that they're going through a phase, or faking it, but that is usually very untrue/unlikely.

And even if they are going through a phase, if you support them, that will make all the difference and they'll remember that the rest of their lives, even if they do grow out of it, which is extremely rare so it's unlikely in the first place.

What matters is having each other's backs, even if not understanding everything.

Not everything is meant to be understood by everyone. People come from wildly different generations and cultural backgrounds and it makes sense that it would be hard for some, but it,'s so important to try!

8. This is a small, cute optional thing, but if they're in the closet and unable to use their real name anywhere, try taking them somewhere like Starbucks where they get to have their name written on their cup.

I know that might sound funny, but it was one of my favourite moments in my life when I saw my new name correctly on my Starbucks cup.

Little things like that can really boost your mood!

Just a random thought, but I thought I'd add it in.

9. If you're close with them, make sure they practise self-care and wellbeing.

Trans people are known especially to have very high suicide rates, over 50% of trans people have attempted suicide, so it's extremely important to make sure your trans friend is as supported as possible, so that they always have people to fall back on.

If needed, remind them to take showers, remind them to eat, and sleep, things like that.

This one mainly has to do with if you live with the person and know them well.

But even people you don't know them well, you can suggest self-care practises to them, or even put together a little care package of self care products, but make sure they're all natural!

10. A good way to train to use their pronouns and name correctly, is to think of them in your mind hard, and then repeat their new name and pronouns in your brain or aloud with the picture of them in your mind over and over for as long as you need every day or so.

Eventually this association will become so strong you'll automatically get it every time!

11. Most importantly, just be there for people in need.

Stand up for those without a voice, whilst giving them a voice. If you're one of the people out there who is not LGBT+ in any way, but is making an effort to learn about us,

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

People like you are extravagantly rare, and so kind. And it definitely means you have an open badass mind.

Anyway, that concludes this article, please comment your thoughts!

Many more articles about being transgender I'll write in the future, and I'll post the ones I write soon.

Please feel free to check back at my account to see if I write any new ones or additions to previous articles!

Thank you for reading.

- Atom T. L. Yorke

#trans man #trans boy #transguy #trans #transgender #ftm trans #trans ftm #trans guy tips #trans guy guide #ftm #ftm guide #ftm tips #trans tips #trans guide #transgender guide #transgender tips #transmasculine #ally #allies #article #lgbtqa #lgbtq #lgbt #queer

[the-queer-look]

Couple Theory

Name: Lucy Age: 24 Location: Glebe Occupation: Bush Regenerator Sexual Orientation: Lesbian Gender: Female

Name: Aisling Age: 21 Location: Glebe Occupation: Customer Service Sexual Orientation: Queer Gender: Female

Lucy – I feel like I’m still figuring out how I’m comfortable presenting because I didn’t come out till I was twenty, which was quite a time after I realised I was gay at sixteen. When I moved to Sydney I really wanted to show people that I was queer, and with much of my influence being from the internet, I wore a lot of the stereotypical lesbian clothing I saw on there – mostly sporty sorts of clothing – but as I’ve gone through, whenever I find something that I don’t hate myself in I wear it over and over again until something new comes along. Recently I’ve been vibing with the look of boots, singlet tops, and making my tattoos very visible. I make myself look somewhat unapproachable with my resting face being a frown, and my outfits being if not aggressive, then non-welcoming, but if people do actually come up to me I really want people to like me, so it all falls away.

Aisling – My daily presentation is just the easy T-shirts and jeans, lots of bouldering merch, maybe a button up if I’m being a little fancy, just a classic chapstick lesbian.

Lucy – Where did your inspo for that come from?

Aisling – What? Jeans and a shirt? Does that need inspiration? I guess I tuck my shirt in to make sure its queer? I have a lot of Vans, and a milk crate full of socks I guess. I used to save up money when I was in high school to put towards my first pair of Vans and I was so excited. I think I have twenty pairs now? Lots of converse, runners, and climbing shoes as well. Colourful socks and shoes are my thing I guess.

Lucy – I remember I was sixteen when I realised I liked girls, but I don’t know what triggered it. I think it was something on TV? I think it was an NCIS episode and they had a really awful portrayal of lesbians, who were identified as gay because at the end of the episode they held hands, and that triggered some kind of twinge in my chest that I’d never felt before.

Ailing – That was your gay bone

Lucy – My gay bone?

K – Yeah, your sternum is your gay bone

Ailing – I’ve torn that twice from being too gay

K – you need to remember to stretch before going out and being gay all night.

Lucy – It was a really weird feeling, I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I went and found out about the episode, and it was of course one of those “oh no homosexuals are evil” sorts of plots. I think that negative portrayal contributed to my negative feelings about being gay, and being so scared to come out. I don’t know where else that would have come from because my parents never expressed any opinion about homosexuality. Those feelings were confirmed when I had my first crush on a girl in my school. I was nauseous more than anything when I realised it, and I just ignored that feeling for years which isn’t healthy. What helped me overcome it though, as I’m sure helped a lot of people from small towns with not much queer representation was the internet, and YouTubers, The Legend of Korra, and Tumblr. (The ending of Legend of Korra) was ust so beautiful, and so revolutionary as well. I remember seeing the ship of Korra and Asami come up on my tumblr, but it was years before the end fo the show, when it actually happened. I remember watching it on a family holiday trip and had to leave the dining table and I was shaking and crying because it was such a huge, beautiful moment that was probably one of the most significant moments of accepting myself. Looking back I definitely associate that final image of them holding hands before going to the spirit world together with my final stage of accepting who I am.

Moving to Sydney was my time to finally come out and explore. I came out to one of my Canadian exchange friends who was here, and they took me to Birdcage (lesbian nightclub in Sydney) where I met some of my friends. My first time in a queer club was like being surrounded by a family who I felt like I knew even though I hadn’t met any of them. That was also the year that the marriage equality vote was passed, So I took that opportunity to find out what my parents thought about homosexuality by asking them what they were voting for. They both said they were voting yes, which made me feel comfortable enough to come out to them the next week.

I’m still learning what are the most appropriate ways to describe myself and my relationship with myself, and how to present myself to the world. The more I learn, the more I will change the way I present myself, and there is a lot more of myself to explore.

Aisling – I think I was around thirteen or fourteen when I saw the show “faking it” - a show about a girl in high school figuring out her sexuality – and I just noticed that I was relating to every situation that the character was going through, and suddenly realised I was questioning my sexuality. I mentioned it to one of my friends that I used to walk to school with, and she would just keep egging me on with “come on just say it, just say you’re gay its fine”. I came out to her as bi at one stage, but I didn’t like that term, I didn’t like the term lesbian either, and still don’t, I prefer to think of myself as queer, or just gay.

When I actually came out two or so years later, I remember telling my close friend group that I was bi… and then later that week just said “nah I’m gay actually”. It was about 7:30pm, on a Wednesday night, after basketball, in the shower talking to myself saying “im gonna do this, im gonna do this”. Just me and my dad home, I psyched myself up for ages and then walked in and out of the kitchen about five times before going “Dad, I have something to tell you” sweating bullets “Dad, I’m gay la di da.”

Lucy – La di da?

Aisling – yes, Father, it’s la di da for me I’m afraid

Lucy – please put my sexuality down as la di da

Aisling – The first thing he said to me was “yeah I always thought you had a bigger obsession with the female tennis players than the men.” and yeah damn he had me there. I hate that I remember the day and everything… like the first of September 2016?

I moved out from my mum to my dad’s mostly because my mum’s partner at the time was very homophobic, and any dinner conversation would turn to him deriding gay marriage, or coming out with some racist shit. Eventually I decided “this bothers me too much, I’m going to have to say something” and it was… really upsetting when he didn’t agree. So of course I came out to my dad first and made him tell mum, which was then an interesting conversation…

“Your father tells me you’ve told him you’re gay?”

“yep, that’s it”

She contacted my school supervisor that night and told all of my teachers to look out for any homophobic acts towards me, letting them know that I was gay and to look out for me.

Lucy – I feel like together we tick a lot of stereotypes

Aisling – We really do

Lucy – We moved in together really quickly

Aisling – We own a cat together

Lucy – Theres that Subaru…

Aisling – I also had a lot of influence from those same queer YouTubers, and seeing their coming out videos and how free they felt afterwards made me really want to share it.

Immediately after I came out everyone at school was very supportive, like they already knew and assumed I was gay because I was just that sporty chick, so being gay just sorta went with it?

Lucy – I think I looked for validation from my parents. When I came out to mum there was no huge deal made about it, butI think validation from them comes in small snippets. Every time mum sends me something, like recently she arranged her coloured chopping boards into a rainbow and sent me a picture with “these are for you!” it’s very small, but its very significant. When I had a really big hickey on my neck, my dad said

“oh who gave you that on your neck? Does he sleep in a coffin?”

“it was a she actually”

“oh does she sleep in a coffin then?”

he just wanted to channel it into a dad joke, but it was a weird way to come out to him actually.

Aisling – To me the term Queer means “everyone included” even just an ally of the community, or a parent of an LGBT person doing your best to make them feel safe and welcome, you’re welcome in the community you know? By properly supporting something, you become a part of it.

Lucy – For me it’s very similar with those lines of community and family. It can be a label, but I feel that its evolving more into a term that indicates embracing all people. I use it sometimes to refer to a collective group of… well queer people. I refer to my close friends as my queer family.

Aisling – It feels better to use than assuming someone’s sexuality or gender without knowing the specifics.

Lucy – Individually I wouldn’t refer to any of my friends as queer. I know one friend refers to himself specifically as a bisexual, man, rather than a queer person. So I definitely like its a more family, community term, rather than a specific label, though It can still be used as one.

Aisling – I like the term because when I first came out I identified as bi, then gay, then bi, then gay, than they? And it feels more appropriate to use for myself because I’m still working it out, and it can cover a lot. For example I don’t think of myself as completely feminine, but I also don’t like the term non-binary to refer to myself, but the idea of “They” still, rather than just being she/her, I like the idea of she/they. And referring to myself as queer feels more of an accurate description.

Lucy – Ever since moving to Sydney and coming out and going to that first club night I’ve always thrown myself into as many queer events as I possibly could. I want to be able to contribute more to the community rather than just be involved in it, a lot of my friends are very engaged in the queer community, and I feel like I don’t have that level of involvement. I love that I’m never scared or intimidated to go to queer events, by myself or with my friends. Whilst I feel very connected to the queer community, I wish I could be more involved. I’m scared that since my friend group is all finishing university and looking to the future, that I’ll lose that sense of connection as everyone moves away, even though I’m sure we’ll all stay in touch.

Aisling – I feel little to no involvement in the queer community at the moment because I’m focusing so hard on my training. I’m involved with Queer Climbers Sydney though, and am looking to get more involved in the future, as soon as I have the time to do stuff.

Lucy – Challenges facing the queer community here isn Sydney… I feel like we need to create a wider variety of safer spaces in more areas. There’re certain areas of Sydney where queer people I know just don’t feel as comfortable. And the ones we do have are always pubs and clubs. Not to detract from queer nightlife; but having so much of queer culture based around adult only areas reinforces the idea that being gay, or trans, or whatever is an adult thing, and makes it easier for people to excuse restricting education about it to kids, which can be so harmful growing up and not having the education to understand yourself.

Aisling – I feel like theres more acceptance towards gay, lesbian, and bi people. But there’s less of an acceptance of trans people, like they can understand being gay, but they cant seem to understand what a trans person even is, much less how to approach them. Probably need more education about it in schools. More comprehensive sex ed instead of just how to put a condom on a fucking banana.

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[snfransokyo]

feeling a lot after listening to watcher's apology so I tried to pinpoint my thoughts/things they said that felt important to me.

i forgave them (steven specifically) yesterday but this is definitely something that needed to be addressed further either way. It'll definitely take some time for me to be as excited for/comforted by their content but this is a big step in the right direction.

•steven's statement confirmed what i assumed he meant, which is good to know for sure. his answer during the podcast + the intital statement he made on the wiscord didn't come across in the same way, which is why it was so frustrating.

•i also think it was just difficult to me to understand because im the type of person who doesnt take racism and homophobia lightly, and im a lot younger than steven is. it makes sense that the people who grew up around held those kinds of views, and him taking his time to explain why they shouldnt does mean a lot.

•im glad shane touched on the fact that this is the conversation that shouldve happened during the episode, because it really, really shouldve.

•the team taking what we had to say into consideration and using our thoughts and feelings to grow is so important. it's also important that katie mentioned that they shouldve had more perspective from the (lgbt) people it effected.

•i definitely approach homophobia/racism in a more similar way to ryan, and everything he said was really comforting to hear. even if he wasn't involved directly and didnt know what happened, what goes on in the company does partly fall on him. i dont think anyone was really looking for an apology from him, but it's nice to know that he cares enough to do so anyway.

•"we're doing our best to correct it, even if it's not enough"

•again, it's not the job of the people who are victims of racism/homophobia to teach why it's wrong, but if you teach and they learn, that's a great thing. people deserve that chance, but im not the type of person who's willing to do so for someone who doesnt show that they want it. im generally the type of person who tries to see the best in people but because of the the pain homophobia and racism has caused me, those are things that are hard for me to look past.

•!!! steven recognizing that he shouldve thought more about how he answered the question. his intentions were in the right place, but he needed to take time to explain what he meant and that didnt happen initially. it's nice that he recognized that.

•"we do lack some perspectives" very true! i hope theyre able to achieve a diverse team as their company grows. i know that was one of their core values when they made watcher, but i hope it's more obvious now how important that actually is.

•"im gonna try a lot harder to not be a doormat when it comes to conversations like these" "it was certainly on me to ask you to elaborate or ask you to clarify certain things"

•everything katie says after that^

•"that also goes into what you were saying, though, that you and shane dont come from the perspectives that were heard; which is why diversity is so important"

•"im sorry that i had to struggle and fail so hard and hurt so many people to get better, but i intend to get better from this and to be able to have these conversations, and be more understanding, and use the correct language to describe the correct situations"

•"the feedback on this, i think we're all incredibly thankful for it... it's okay to just check our egos on this shit and acknowledge that we are, you know, fucking up here. we have, spectacularly, but that we are grateful to have been called out on something like this"

•"and i have to also say if you were incredibly hurt by this and you, i saw some people who were like 'i think i might take a hike for a little bit, if not permanently,' and i get it, and, you know, im incredibly sorry and i understand"

•"there really should be no ego involved in being an ally, like, there's always more that you can learn. and to have a misstep, or, you know, times when you mess up, not take that as like 'well i guess im gonna abandon ship, i don't understand,' and take that as like, 'okay, now i know, and now i'll be an even better ally"

•shane talking about being on the left and the reaction the audience gives him (including me lolz) but acknowledging he could be doing more is really great and very true for a lot of people (including me)

•"it's probably not enough" was such an interesting thing to hear. this is the most well thought out and genuine apology ive ever heard and, in my personal opinion, was a lot better than i couldve imagined

•"for people who are hearing this and giving us the opportunity to apologize, thank you for still believing in us and know that we dont take that trust lightly, which is why something like this hurts so much"

•"we want to make this company a safe space for everybody, and while we did not do that this past week, and we are deeply sorry for it, we're going to do everything in our power to make that happen in the future"

#watcher #hwyd #discourse

[keagan-ashleigh]

I have read Misha's post on Facebook and I didn't know what to say or what to think. I said it over and over I have zero expectations so on one hand I am satisfied with Castiel being gay and didn't think they were going to show more than that, but on the other hand... reading that felt bitter. And there’s a couple things I’d like to answer to that.

I am trying to sort of explain all of this to myself, I’m trying to make sense of things, but what is clear to me is that: the CW is at fault, the showrunners, producers and writers are at fault too, and I think Misha is being honest. He genuinely doesn’t believe the CW censored destiel and maybe they haven’t in the way we’d want to think they did. But they did. 

Also, let’s be clear that there is something fishy in him saying there wasn’t some cut bits from 15x18 and no alternative ending when he, Jensen and even the writers admitted there was. I think maybe he was saying “there is no alternative gay ending for Dean”, still... I don’t know. But I believe him when he says there is no destiel conspiracy in which a gay scene existed but was censored - like I for a moment believed there was (I even twitted that yesterday). I am not so sure now but what I think is that it doesn’t matter HOW they fooled their queer audience, it’s the fact they did at all.

There was a form of interference and Misha needs to understand that people are right to be angry nonetheless. 

I  know that CW is still not a lgbt ally, however they have some lgbt friendly shows. They are probably the network that has the most lgbt characters.

Just to recap things a little bit and give sort of a context, from my perspective - I think it’s really important to know what are their other shows in term of representation - it’s probably gonna be a long read but bear with me:

I don't know them all but I am also a DC fan so I know the majority of the arrowverse shows are lgbt friendly, plus there is The 100, there was 3 lgbt characters in Vampire Diaries, I didn’t watch those but I think there was a little bit of representation in Gossip Girl, Riverdale, the Charmed reboot, the Roswell reboot, Beverly Hills reboot, The Originals and Legacy - and some others I don't remember here.

So yep, there is some representation and they truly believe it’s ok, they pat their backs calling themselves progressive for allowing one or two characters in each show to be lgbt, and sometimes the writers are good enough to make it good on screen (which really is the case for Black Lightning for instance).

And actually we owe the representation in the arrowverse shows to a gay producer named Greg Berlanti,  the CW allowed it, they didn’t came up with the idea.

The CW is not an ally, they are a company and they show what brings them money. And if you watch the shows I cited you know they are familiar with the bury your gays trope, maybe a little less blatantly than in Supernatural. As far as I know, in only three shows they have couples that are happy and that haven't been killed : Supergirl, Legends of Tomorrow (which is not that popular cause in terms of writing the first 2, 3 seasons were awful, it started being good when they got free to be more goofy and self-mocking) and Black Lightning - which btw has not been renewed for a 5th season and Supergirl has one season left too - with all the arrowverse shows ending one after the other I can only predict LoT won't last much longer - there would be Batwoman but we don’t see a settled couple, we see a broken relationship and since they chose not to recast the lead, they have made the subsequent decision not to give this relationship a satisfying resolution).

There is a number of issues with the representation in those shows, but yeah, the arrowverse is progressive because the shows producers, the writers and the CW were on board for that. It wasn’t the case for Supernatural who has had more BYG than all the other CW shows united - because CW had better interests in making it the way it is, and because the writers are not that good. I keep repeating it but it’s true, they also are to blame, THEY wrote the BYG in the show and they wrote that ending. It was possible for a better representation in spn if everyone tried. Only the actors tried, that’s the problem, and they don’t have much hold on what can and cannot be done. 

Supernatural is different in CW eyes - not because it is their most popular show in terms of audience - I know everyone says that but when you look at the numbers The Flash is actually their top popular show (and that is why it will be the last big arroverse show to go, what will stay will be Stargirl, maybe Batwoman for one or two seasons), it’s the one that has the most viewers, it was racking up 1.2 million viewers in 2019 against 1.1 for Supernatural (x) - without counting the illegal streaming and downloading), Supernatural only comes second in terms of audience in 2019/2020 (and it is important to note that) (it was also second best in 2017, this is not only true for 19/2020 (x) ). But it it special in terms of status and fanbase, it doesn’t have the most viewers but it a show that have a consistent audience; it is big to them nonetheless. Just as this article explains: “Supernatural’s linear ratings have faded. But its importance to the CW, however, hasn’t”.

 At this point you will note that The Flash has, in terms of representation, one (1) gay character that is a secondary one (David Singh, the chief of Central police) and he is mentioned to be gay.

Supernatural is important to them because Supernatural’s ratings influence their other shows and the network as a whole.

It is also because they have a contract with Jared for Walker and they don't want it to fail (Supernatural and the arrowverse shows are all coming to an end rn so they need a new golden goose), if they have had shown interest in being lgbt friendly with this show they would have done it earlier. This only means that it's not financially worthy for them. 

All of this only shows that the CW has monetary interests and that you need everyone involved to make it work. It worked for the arrowverse because the producer pushed and because it was actually a form of queerbaiting for the CW. This ensures that the lgbt people have what they want and they get to have their money, but they don’t loose their straight audience either. They don’t touch Supernatural and The Flash because that’s their big money makers. 

So, as a conclusion, what this context definitely show us is that they aren’t interested in progress in itself, they are interested in profit. They give us lgbt representation as long as it’s their interest to do so. Castiel was gay so episode 19 and 20 ratings could skyrocket, don’t let yourself think it was for the love of progress. No, Misha, there wasn’t the kind of conspiracy you describe, but the CW still wronged its viewers and weren’t well intentioned. And the showrunners did us wrong too because they wrote that and they wrote Dean impaled on a nail and Sam miserably codependent with his brother. I do believe they didn’t actually wrote destiel, but they cut out the possibility of it being written, mainly because they are the network’s bitches and because they don’t have interest in writing it. 

Misha might be well intentioned by saying what he said but he’s wrong, The CW did interfere and sort of censored destiel, if not by subtilizing a script for another by preventing it to be written at all. Whether he knows and he is coverint the CW whether he doesn’t know at all, but, he’s wrong to defend them - the network as well as the writers. 

I still think we were robbed and I understand why he thinks it's not a bury your gays because Cas goes to heaven but he's not sitting in our seat, however great of an ally he is, I am sorry to say he just don't feel it like lgbt fans do. Another point that has to be made is that not every representation is good representation, and it doesn’t matter that Castiel is alive and reconstructing heaven if we don’t SEE IT, if we don’t see him at all nor the effects of his self realisation, it might as well mean it didn’t matter, Cas is gay but it had absolutely zero importance. It has only shown the character being erased afterward. Sure he was resurrected but it still was wiped out of the writing, you’ve GOT to understand bury your gays doesn’t necessarily means the character has been LITERALLY killed, it means it has been taken out of the narrative. Like, for example, Claire has been erased from the narrative, we never see her again once she’s revealed to be a lesbian, even though subtextually she’s fine and happy.

Misha is sweet and the fact he is always on board to learn and spread love is amazing and I love him for that but he is wrong here and he should listen and learn what BYG effectively means. 

I kinda want to copy paste that into another post because it is important and I wish someone would say that to him, I am sure he is kind enough to listen.

What we’re also mad about isn’t only that Castiel has been erased. It’s that Dean has been erased too and doesn’t get to answer and give a full closure to this narrative. Castiel being gay is huge, I said that already, but it’s only half satisfying if he doesn’t get to be with the man he loves and who loves him in return, or if he doesn’t get an answer. Maybe it wasn’t written, maybe it was censored, no matter what, Dean’s love was there and it should have been acknowledged. And after all, I wouldn’t have been mad about them writing a platonic answer because it would have been an answer (even though I wouldn’t have been satisfied because in the whole context of television, there is not enough gay couples that are settled and not written in traumatic way). The fact no one acknowledges the fact Castiel was gay, it’s hurting, from our perspective. It’s like he spoke his truth but wasn’t heard. 

And that is a problem. Not every representation is a good representation and people need to understand how offensive it is to us to hear “well you should be happy we’ve given you that much” - especially when in the whole picture, there is like TWO shows that aren’t about homosexuality that shows a healthy relationship between two lgbt characters without one of the two be killed or erased from the narrative.

We deserve more than the bare minimum.

So, okay, no, the mexican sub wasn’t the proof of a manipulation (and nonetheless we just can’t tell because there is NO objective evidences), BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANY OF THAT IS OK.

I love Misha Collins, I think he is a beautiful human being, but he doesn’t possibly know why we are hurt and I am sad he didn’t think this further. 

#spn #supernatural #my posts #bury your gays #queerbaiting #they silenced you