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yanderes-galore · 1 year

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Hi, can ask for romantic hcs of Affogatto Cookie with a Royal Darling? Tbh I don't remember much from the Cacao part of Kingdom

Honestly I stopped playing when the Dark Cacao Kingdom released, I watched some cutscenes though so I hope I got the basics of his character ^^ It feels a bit rushed but I hope I got my ideas across. I wanted to expand on this but the plot feels butchered :(

I really should play CRK again but I don't want to grind again, LOL.

Yandere! Affogatto Cookie with Royal! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Obsession, Attempted murder/just murder, Forced marriage, Trust issues, Forced relationship, Drugging.

In this story you are a royal of the Dark Cacao Kingdom.

You are another of Dark Cacao's children, persisting after Dark Choco's betrayal.

Safe to say you have some trust issues due to your brother....

Affogato is a very charismatic shaman (?) character.

He's manipulative and does his best to be trusted in the eyes of the Dark Cacao Kingdom.

He's simply someone looking for a place to belong!

He's definitely not some usurper to the throne.

When Affogato first meets you, he sees you as his key to the throne.

If he can gain your trust... your father will only ever trust him more.

Affogato is someone you don't trust as easily as most.

He shows up out of nowhere then tries to play himself off as your friend?

Yeah right....

You and your father have very different opinions on Affogato.

Dark Cacao trusts Affogato and his judgements, an idea you don't approve but can't fight.

"Father... can't you see it in his eyes? He lies to you with fake smiles!"

"Hold your tongue... Affogato is aiding us. He is no liar."

You only dislike the shaman even more when he accuses Caramel Arrow of stealing rations.

You felt that only you and Caramel Arrow knew of Affogato's lies at times.

Which is why you whispered that you were sorry for your father's actions when she is exiled.

You truly miss your first watcher... now the outside villages were bound to fall.

Affogato no doubt knows about your distrust.

He can tell you are annoyed at your father's obsessive need to fortify defenses... and his oblivious behavior towards the shaman's scheming.

Affogato knows he can't exile you like the others as your father still adores you, he also knows he can't convince you to go against your father fully... as you still love him too.

Affogato comes up with a new plan...

He'll simply try to be on your good side.

While Affogato's obsession started out as trying to be nice and gain your trust... it transitions to ulterior motives.

After all, what better way to gain the throne than to marry the king's child?

The shaman would try to play his cards right.

You are not easy to convince, Affogato knows this too.

It's frustrating to him, yet he'll try to be patient.

You notice Affogato become increasingly friendly towards you.

Your father sees nothing wrong with this...

You ignore Affogato's attempts to gain your favor, but he never goes away.

Affogato plans to marry you just for power st first.

In order to do that he has to prove himself.

Although... the deceptive man gets obsessed with the idea of you more than power the longer he tries.

You had a certain beauty towards you...

You held loyalty towards your father and hate towards anyone who was similar to your brother.

You hated deceivers... you scoffed at betrayal...

Such harsh beliefs didn't ward Affogato off in the slightest.

The shaman always brewed you the sweetest drinks and spoke to you in a tone as soft as velvet.

You narrowed your eyes at his cat-like orbs, scoffing at how he giggled mischievously in conversation when you answer or accuse him.

"Why do you try to be close with me, snake." Is your response each time Affogato wished to talk.

"Your majesty, I only think we should know each other more. You are awfully stuborn... it hurts my feelings. Is it so wrong to just talk? Our kingdom would fall if you held any false accusations towards those who wish to help."

You're never going to be able to fully trust the shaman after the betrayal of your brother.

This only ever annoys Affogato, as by the time his plan is almost in place, he's actually fallen for you.

You tolerate him... that's as far as he can get.

That is until he allied with Dark Enchantress and gets Dark Choco to rid the Dark Cacao Kingdom of its king.

It's a newer better plan....

When you hear the news of your brother coming back to kill your father... Affogato actually sees your personality change.

You break.

He sees your stern and hateful persona that's always up around him change to that of grief and vulnerability.

Something the shaman pounces on.

Affogato claims to the kingdom that you are in no shape to rule... alone, that is.

He makes a proposal that he becomes king with Dark Cacao gone.

Just until you are fit to lead....

Then, on top of that, he even alludes to the idea of a marriage between him and you.

When you hear of this news from him at your door, you're furious.

You blame him for your father's death.

Him taking the throne is enough already... then Affogato pauses your rage with one sentence for a moment.

"Not only am I king now... you are meant to be married off."

"Married off...? What nonsense do you speak of!?"

When Affogato gives you a cheshire grin, you freeze.

"Don't you get it? I've planned a marriage between you... and me!"

You feel your blood run cold when he laughs.

"Trust me... it's what your father would've wanted."

Affogato is devilish enough to not only have your father killed and steal his thrown... but he also has the audacity to force your marriage.

"You have enough power. Why must you marry me now that my father is dead?" You ask with fury, tears dribbling down your face.

"Don't cry, dear. Maybe I don't want to marry you for power? I promise despite our differences, I have fallen for you... your beauty is as beautiful as the sugary white snow outside our kingdom walls. I was bound to want you someday...."

Affogato expects your resistance, you have always been so stubborn around him.

You don't have much of a choice in the matter, unfortunately.

"I'll kill you for this...." He hears you whisper through tears.

The murderer only laughs again.

"You won't."

Before he leaves the room, the shaman would place a cup full of brew on the table.

"Now, drink up will you? You're so worked up...."

"I'll never accept anything from you-"

"That's unfortunate...."

Affogato has surprising strength when he wrenches your jaw open, dumping the sweet drink down youd throat before cocking your head back to swallow.

The entire experience leaves you surprised... and tired...

"You should really stop fighting me, love..." Affogato hums, placing you back on the bed in your room.

"After all... I'm your king now... and you'll learn to obey me in the end. Sweet dreams... you have a big day tomorrow, dear."

The Dark Cacao Kingdom's fate was no longer in your hands... as you drift off due to the drink shoved down your throat, you dread of what awaits next for you and your home.

#yandere cookie run kingdom #yandere affogato cookie #yandere cookie run

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chemicalarospec · 1 year

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hold up guys I am being plagued with visions of Magical Girl L

okay so everyone's heard of talking cat Ryuk, but now get ready for: talking cat Watari

he's actually a wizard who's been trapped in this form and there's a whole arc about breaking that spell

but at the end he decides he likes being a cat better (to the great exasperation of L) so he only turns back into an old man when L needs him to

he's got his Wizard Realm Tower (of books and knowledge)

yeah Prince of Darkness Light Yagami is cool and all but personally I feel like high-concept AUs that cast Light as an Open Villain miss the whole point of him being a liar in plain sight

so you know have most Magical Girls have a team of friends? L has NO FRIENDS

also idk what like his powers are. Magical Girl is just a category of its own, right? I'm between a girl outfit and a prince outfit (like one in a fic I read) tho.

well, he has no friends... until he meets Light!

and they start vanquishing The Forces of Evil or whatever it is Magical Girls do together

until Light gains a black Book of Forbidden Knowledge

yes that's right I'm creating a new plot of Magical Girl (I think) and there's gonna be BETRAYAL.

Ryuk is NOT a cat btw. I think it's really funny if the scary shinigami are just there in this magical girl aesthetic. they're probably the Evil being fought

it's not the Death Note btw it like teaches him Black Magic and Ryuk tries to convince him to come over to the Dark Side and stuff

oh maybe Misa and Matsuda can also be Magical Girls. I haven't really thought about the other characters.

anyways from here we have two choices: he's just evil and they fight and stuff or

Light CORRUPTION ARC and we return to a more typical Magical Girl plot by having L save him from the corruption of the Evil Black Magic and stuff.

also I think Light's Magical Girl costume should become increasingly black during this arc and when L asks why he's like. "I spilled a pen on it."

it's important to note that in Show Form we see Light's POV as this happens but if I were to write a fic (which. so sad! I don't think I'll be able to) it would only follow L's POV -- one would only have hints of what was going on with Light up until the Big Reveal

maybe a flashback then? I like a big villain monologue though while L sits there thinking "damn! my one friend!"

but yeah speaking of turning this to prose... still working on my last big fic project, so not gonna happen on my own. It'd be cool to work together with someone on it but if you want to do something with this idea just make sure to send it to/tag me! (& credit, but only as much as I have here that's original -- I'm kinda hoping if I search there's already a fic of Magical Girl L because it seems like an easy idea to have lol)

oh update-edit: had the wild messed-up idea that after Light turns to the Dark Side once, L and the gang pull the most effed up move that would never be in a Magical Girl show, and erase his memory.

#death note #L death note #L Lawliet #death note au #bullet fic #light yagami #EVIL light yagami #jk jk haha that just made me laugh #I said this #it CAN be gay however I think this is a great oppurtunity for queerbaiting but light's acearo so it's not queerbaiting #ok today's the day #my own tags #okay i can't think of anything practical and good for the characters #chem's death note arc #will do for now and tomorrow i will retroactively apply that to posts i made about death note that i dont want to main tag #and reblogs??? idkkkkk

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mapofthesoul20 · 1 year

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TXT College AU Headcanons

Because TXT are officially in (Cyber) University, why not have some fun imagining the shenanigans they’d get into as average American college students? (All quotes are irl quotes by me and my friends btw XD)

Yeonjun is the one who wakes up half of campus by screaming in the quad in the middle of the night. He is not drunk.

Yeonjun accidentally becomes the poster child for the school and is in every ad because he is just that pretty and talented. The others never let him live it down

Yeonjun, two weeks of class left: “Is it too late to admit I don’t know what’s going on in this class?”

Soobin was unanimously elected president of his fraternity. His frat is actually like nice and chill, but they JUST NEVER LISTEN TO HIM. He leaves with a headache after every chapter meeting

Soobin doesn’t understand how football works but shows up in full gear and face paint to every game

Soobin: “If the teacher doesn’t show up in 15 minutes, we can leave”

Beomgyu is the one who burns the popcorn in the dorm at 3AM and triggers the fire alarm. Multiple times. Taehyun threatens to strangle him

Beomgyu is on some obscure sports team, like archery or water polo, and Yeonjun is 100% convinced Beomgyu is making it up just to fuck with him

Beomgyu, crossing the street: “Go on, cars, hit me! Pay my tuition!”

Taehyun is a lead in the a capella team (Sorry, I had to do it to someone XD). Takes them to Nationals with his rendition of Zayn Malik’s “Let Me”. (Soobin shows up in full gear to support)

Taehyun is the friend who will always be there to help his friends move in/out, especially if there’s pizza offered. Be warned, he’s also the friend who will take a video of them when they drop something on their foot and are hopping in pain, posting it with a caption “Lol, what a loser <3″

Taehyun: “I should start carrying my knife around again.”

Hueningkai’s family lives near by so he’s always hanging out with his sisters and doing laundry at home and at least once a week brings home a stray friend in need of a home-cooked meal

Hueningkai walks up to the ornamental piano gathering dust in the corner of the student lounge, plays the most hauntingly beautiful rendition of Mozart, says “I think aliens exist and we should be nice to them” and walks away never to be seen again

"Okay, what errors were made in this lab experiment?” Hueningkai: “Showing up to class.”

Yeonjun gets drunk at frat parties and makes elaborate plans to kiss Soobin. Except he’s usually conspiring on said plans with a very drunk and very painfully oblivious Soobin

Taehyun and Hueningkai were roommates freshman year. First day of orientation, Taehyun claimed Kai as his and they’ve been bffs ever since.

Soobin: “This class is really similar to the one I took last year.” Beomgyu: “So you’re just taking the class again??” Soobin: “Well, if I wanted to change it, I would have to go talk to people...so yeah!”

Hueningkai and Yeonjun sustain themselves off of cup noodles and whatever they can steal from the cafeteria (27 containers one time, but who’s counting). It’s not unusual to walk into the dorm kitchen in the middle of the night and see one or both of them standing in the dark slurping noodles with a dead look in their eyes

Beomgyu and Taehyun are each other’s go-to dates for Soobin’s frat’s parties because 1) It saves them the headache of having to figure out dates every time 2) they love to tease people who are jealous 3) who else is gonna turn up with them to “I’m a Barbie Girl” 4) It gives Soobin a migraine every time they clear the living room just to do a dance battle ending in Beomgyu dipping Taehyun, and really isn’t giving Soobin a headache one of the great simple pleasures of life?

Soobin and Hueningkai one night were like, let’s get an ouija board. Immediate regret. Taehyun didn’t even bother trying to stop them, he just he hid in his room because he is a scaredy cat and smart enough to know not to mess with spirits

Yeonjun and Beomgyu are straight A students which drives their professors crazy because they’re always talking loudly and goofing off together in class and taking up office hours trying to flirt with the professors

Taehyun at the library: notebooks open, study guides neatly typed out, 10 highlighters and red pens at the ready, reading three books at once. Soobin next to him: gave up studying twenty minutes ago, downing a family-sized cheeto puffs bag

Beomgyu and Hueningkai have movie nights in the dorm’s common room (often leading to said popcorn burning). They eventually get banned though because Beomgyu keeps screaming at the jump scares. And because they had reconstructed the entire common room into an elaborate fort

When Taehyun gets really homesick he sleeps in Yeonjun’s dorm room, curled up on the beat-up bean bag and making that ‘Taehyun scream’ at anyone who tries to make him move. Yeonjun just feeds him snacks by hand and tries to convince the RA, No no, he swears, he really isn’t hiding a pet cat in his room

Feel free to add more XD

#tomorrow x together #tomorrowxtogether #txt #yeonjun #soobin #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #hyuka #choi soobin #choi yeonjun #choi beomgyu #kang taehyun #also beomgyu dresses like a college uni student according to yeonjun :(#bonus points: Soobin: I have the upper body strength of uncooked spaghetti #bonus points: YJ or TH: Oscar Wilde is a flaming homosexual but I love him anyway #bonus points: TH (about to bust a toga party): I'm going to go shame them for profaning the royal attire of the Roman Empire #bonus points: Beomgyu: I love this club. This is the best club ever. What are we doing again?#as upperclassmen YJ SB and BG get a house off campus together and Tyunning hang out there every other day #then they all get a house together bc I said so #not related but as a yeonbinist #Yeonjun and Soobin make out on Yeonjun’s bed bc Beomgyu sprays them w/ a water bottle whenever they try in SB/BG room #Yes BG and TH do wear matching couple outfits to every frat party. I’m talking velvet button downs and all #HK is both the local hearttthrob and local crypto’s #he is the freshman that all the seniors have a crush on #but anytime a girl tries to flirt with him #TH appears behind him like a manifestation with a wide eyed stare of like #you talk to my Kai? MY KAI??#agent report

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dumplingsjinson · 8 months

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I like a deep mans voice and tall guys because they give protective hugs

Lowkey (highkey, actually), long distance dude's deep ass voice is the reason why I started to like him a lot lmfao. Listening to him over voice messages/listening to him while we were voice calling, I was like... 😩 I remember when he sent the first voice message and I practically MELTED cause he sounded so fucking nice. I didn't even realise how much I liked men with deep and gentle sounding voices until then. I literally fangirled and told him how much I liked his voice and I'm surprised he didn't find that weird welkfnwelkfn. But anyway yeah, deep voices for the win, and no other men I've gone out with has as deep of a voice as he does. Not even the one I'm going out with right now lol, I remember when he first spoke and I was like... Um. (Now I'm okay with his voice and I find something comforting about it haha.)

There was this one guy who I was talking to for about a month (this guy traumatised me in many ways, I'm ngl) sent me voice messages on Insta and right off the bat I was like... This is a turn off. I'm sorry. (Obviously I never told him that but KALJNELKNF.) And he'd KEEP sending me voice messages and I was like "I'm SO tempted to tell him to stop." Like, I had to convince myself at one point that he sounded okay and not totally grating to my ears. Granted, I probably should stfu because I have an ugly ass voice but DAMN.

In regards to height... I'm 149cm, so it's not hard for me to find someone taller than me. The first guy I went on dates with was like... maybe 1-2 inches taller than me? And that was when I knew I couldn't date someone around the same height as me lmfao. I need someone at LEAST 165cm or over. Even 160cm is fine lmao. That was when I realised height does matter to me, at least to a certain extent, and I justify it by saying it's because I'm short as fuck myself anyway so it's definitely not a hard standard to meet. The guy I'm seeing right now (cat guy) is, I think, around 165cm? Give or take. He's shorter than some of my girl friends HAHA (they're like easily 170cm+), but he's at least a head taller than me and I absolutely love it. Even if I do wear heels, I think he'd still be taller than me. So yeah, I get it when you say taller guys give protective hugs AHA. They just give off a more protective aura in general. (And if I start talking about the way he stood behind me on the escalator, arms spread wide open in like... an almost protective stance and leaning his forehead against my shoulder, I'm probably going to go off on a very delusional tangent so lemme just save that for another day LMAO.)

#long post #anon asks #not prompts

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convexicalcrow · 1 year

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Guess who finally got around to finishing these pages lmao. XD tbh the watercolour pencils I used to colour the illustrations aren't ... quite the right shade for Vexes, but it is what it is. The photos kind of make them look slightly better tbh.

There's part of me that's not entirely happy with the conclusions this piece comes to, but the best thing about an iterative grimoire like this, for those who have never kept a grimoire or have no idea what grimoires are and what they include, is that there is room to revisit a topic, and I do plan to do something on the masks later, so there will be more expansion on this and on my thinking and how that's changed since I wrote this piece. Which does tell you how long ago I wrote this lol.

Also a note on my approach to this: I'm attempting to emulate Scar and Cub's voices and energy and vibe through these pieces and the style of handwriting I have chosen to use for each of them, rather than do any kind of (weird stalkery tbh) form of copying their actual handwriting. And I think that approach is a good one, because it wouldn't matter how close my handwriting was if their voices didn't sound right. So that's the choice I've made here.

Alsoalso: Scar is the Vex with the tail, bc of how much he said he wanted one in that bit where they were setting up ConCorp in s6, and Cub was like, wtf would you want a tail? So it gives me an easy way to distinguish the two of them in their Vex forms.

The transcript below has been tidied up and spaced out a little more than it is in the book itself, just to make it easier to read and you don't have to have a wall of text to deal with.

Glamors Scar: Honestly I'm not convinced I should be writing in this book but Cub insisted that I had to write about how I do glamors. The problem is, I'm not sure I can explain it! It just happens! I think about what I want, and channel that through Vex magic. But it's not even something I really think about consciously, it just happens!

So much of it is about knowing what you want and who you are dealing with, and then you just project that outwards like you are wearing a mask or a costume. The clothes are just as important as the will and the magic. It's about set dressing! Immersing your target in the world you create in order to make them see your side of things.

Obviously you can do it without that, of course. But you need exceptional confidence and a sense that you will get your way. But it isn't just about that either. you can use glamors for all kinds of reasons. You can look like a wet puppy, or a clueless redstoner, or someone who has no idea what they're doing to disarm threats and make them come on side.

Projecting a face and an energy that you think will get you what you want. Like I said, it's hard to describe how to do it because so much of this is on you. It's about your will and desire and the image you want to project by lacing that with vex magic to make it work.

But the one thing to know is that the magic can only do so much. If you can't sell it, no amount of magic will help. Beware! And use carefully!

Oh! And you make be wondering why I call them glamors! it sounds like such a silly word, but I use it for a reason. These glamors are like masks. They change how people see you, but they don't change how you are at your core.

It's like when I wear the Vex mask. Kinda. It isn't a glamor, but it can be used like one. Do I want to make it clear the ConVex are in town? Then me and Cub wear the masks. They don't always have to transform us into our Vex forms or allow the vex to use our bodies.

Cub: Ehh, I wouldn't say the masks are like your glamors, Scar. Those masks serve quite a different function than you making someone think you're a wet cat. Those Vex masks are us, they aren't some fakery or pretense. The magic's different.

We are Vex at our core, the masks simply allow us to acess different magics, transformations, and powers. Plus, we don't really choose when to wear the masks, the Vex do that. It's just not the same, Scar, is all I'm saying. -- Cub.

Scar: Okay, look, it might be imperfect, but you know what I mean! I did tell you that I am bad at explaining these things! I did warn you! It's very difficult to explain something that I just do instinctively. It just happens, Cub, I can't teach it.

Also the Vex masks are definitely glamors! You can definitely use them that way. We just don't do that because the masks have different uses.

Cub: That is true, yo ucan use them like that. But the fact is we don't use the masks like that. They serve an entirely different purpose to simply being masks or glamors. They're sacred ritual objects that connect us to our power. It's very different!

Scar: OH hey Do you like my Vex drawings? I think they look so cute!

Cub: They're adorable, Scar, yeah!

Scar: I think I really brought out your mischevious face! Yeah!

Cub: For real, though, Scar, think about it. The masks reveal us, not conceal us. They reveal something true about us that most don't see, or want to see. These humanesque bodies? These visions or forms of who we used to be as players? Tht's not who we are anymore. Those are more the masks than the Vex heads are. The vex heads bring us back to our true form as Vexes.

Whereas what your glamors do is mask our true identities, and project something else that suits our needs and desires. It's a mask, nota mirror.

It's why the masks demand that we master them, not the other way around.

Scar: You know what, Cub? They're all masks, and that's about as much as I can be bothered with. I'll leave the deep thinking to you on this one! Goodbye!

#hermitcraft #convex #cubfan135 #gtwscar #metafiction perhaps #worldbuilding #vex magic #scar's magic #glamors #masks #vex magic grimoire #i have spent too much time writing glamour in the American way #bc authenticity #that is the extent of my accuracy wrt writing styles

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justanotherfanfolks · 6 months

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Twisted Wonderland Main Story Scattered Thoughts (Prologue Chapter 3-5)

Sad boi bgm is playing! Feeling bad for Grim, he's experiencing the disrespect. Riddle is team cat for Grim. Azul… stop being weird. This dude has clearly been trying to strike a deal with Riddle for a while. Yuu’s calling Grim an it! Yuu, don’t be rude! CROWLEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPARED FROM BEING SERVED AS DINNER! Grim probably took a lot of disrespect before. I’m imagining the student body just being the monkey puppet meme after watching that. NOOO MALLEUS! I remember him wondering why everyone was in their ceremonial robes in the vignettes, but he never cracked the case! One day he’ll wear those robes in public. “Maybe you should have told him yourself” no but it hurts more because they literally spoke to each other earlier that day, but Kalim didn’t realize he didn’t know! What do you mean you don’t know him too well either Kalim, don’t lie to me I read your ceremonial robes, I know you had a conversation! The NPCs are talking! LILIA! LILIA! PEEPAW! Boy with deep voice, lol. … So Lilia knew there was an orientation? And he didn’t tell him? Did he break his phone again? Someone needs to make a bulletin board just for Malleus, the man doesn’t understand email! Azul’s apologizing profusely, he wants those Diasomnia points. Riddle’s just like, eh. Actually, did we ever find out where Malleus went during the ceremony? No one found him until he showed up at the dorm, and they absolutely must have checked there. “I’m afraid that you will not be attending Night Raven College after all” Yuu: I was dragged here against my will, so… Wait, is that the BGM from the overblot reflection scenes?! I LOVE THAT BGM! WHAT’S IT DOING HERE! Ugh, I love TWST music! “Take this person back from where they came!” DM: lol, I don’t know where that is. Crowley’s having a crisis over here. DM’s just shrugging as a disembodied face. Library time!

Yuu is an extraterrestrial confirmed! Or from another dimension, yeah you right Crowley. Would you be more shocked to travel planets or dimensions? Shoe? Yuu, you have shoes, right? Yuu: my wallet! MY PHONE! POV: the portal that let you travel between dimensions robbed you. Crowley’s stuck with a magicless broke teen. RAMSHACKLE! No, but this dude really stuck Yuu into a probably haunted building that is falling apart, headmaster of the year. And will you be cleaning it, Crowley? We will investiage other ways to send you home my butt, you’ve been sitting on your ass for 7 books straight! (please excuse my language) A model educator, sir you don’t teach anything. Well, at least I get to see our beloved Ramshackle Dorm!

…I forgot how bad this place looked at first, THE OSHA VIOLATIONS!(I know OSHA is for working conditions, but still) Lawsuits, lawsuits everywhere. “This is too much character, if you ask me” I love a sassy Yuu. Wow. It looks… okay… I’m going to do more research he says, LIAR! Yuu’s about to become one with the dust. IT’S RAINING! We just got here, and it’s already raining. Oh, it actually looks better with the lights on! GRIM! “Like a bat that got blasted by a water gun.” Grim, you say like you’ve seen it before. Sir, did- did you blast a bat with a water gun? Don’t tell Lilia that. Honestly, it doesn’t seem that hard to sneak in, I don’t think there’s magic on the fence. Yuu can call for guards, I don’t even remember seeing guards, where did that idea come from? I wonder how Grim got here in the first place. Did he jump a carriage? Did he do that plane/boat thing Idia and Lilia mentioned when discussing getting to the island? GRIM’S EAR FIRE CAN GO OUT?! Grim, don’t be magic…ist? Useless? At least Yuu can meet people on eye level. But Grim, you benefit from fixing the holes in the roof. Why do you need payment. I’m convinced homeboy can’t actually do it. Oh, hello strange noises- THE GHOSTS! They’ve always given me Lonesome Ghosts vibes. I forgot what their voices sound like. I’ve been playing too many voiceless events and vignettes, I can’t remember what people sound like that aren’t the core 23. I love how they are ??? when later on they are Ghost A/B/C. Nah, that is absolutely a death threat, run Yuu, RUN! Grim, no fire in the dorm, there are already leaks! Grim, open your eyes to aim! Yuu knows how to bribe. The ghosts coming in with that perspective shot. Oh, time for that legendary Ramshackle Duo teamwork! This is what I imagine they do during Overblot fights. Twistune! A true bop, this song! AHHH, I’m not used to doing the ghost vignette so SLOW, it’s been 84 years since I did it on easy mode! I’m just imagining when Grim gets cocky, Yuu is just standing there arms crossed watching the ghost about to spook him and just letting it happen.

#twisted wonderland #twst #Fan finally plays the main story

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yardsards · 2 years

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>.> (hunter and blight twins sibling relationship in darius blight au? thoughts?) <.<

i mentioned some of these headcanons in the previous two rambles but i'll take this chance to put the stuff together and maybe elaborate further on some stuff plus a few new headcanons:

hunter and the twins in general:

-they're a little wary of him at first. they don't have the personal baggage with him that amity did. it's more like, just normal needing to adjust to a new step-sibling. like, their family life was already so weird and then stuff got upended with a divorce and their dad's personality basically pulling a positive 180. and then, just as they were starting to get used to that, there is just this guy and his SON who is so awkward and maladjusted just being thrust into their lives. like they'd talked before in a "this is my dad's boyfriend's kid" context but having to have him there as their *brother* all of a sudden is just A Lot (it's like when you introduce a new cat into ur household and you gotta put it in the bathroom so the other cats can smell it through the door lol)

-there's no big moment that makes them click and become friends, more just them slowly all warming up to one another the longer they're forced to be in each other's presence

-hunter is a little on edge around them early on cuz he can tell they haven't really accepted him yet. but also he kinda looks to them as role models and examples of how he should act in this new family structure. bc his main two responses to unfamiliar circumstances are either "look to SOME kind of authority figure for guidance" or "completely withdraw and refuse all help", and this is a situation that calls more for the first reaction. ed and em barely know anything more than him about healthy families but his only other option (aside from their dads, but he's looking for peers to emulate) is amity. so, twins it is.

-he also sometimes clings to them in social/school situations, if none of his flyer derby friends are available

-when the twins finally start to accept hunter as their brother, they start affectionately teasing and pranking him like they do to amity. hunter doesn't understand this At All and is like "oh no, i thought we were doing so well but now they hate me???" and the twins are like "huh, wonder why he's acting even weirder and more nervous than usual. probably just shy about being accepted as our brother now." they all figure it out eventually.

-i WOULD say it gets fixed after hunter opens up about the twins "hating" him to amity or one of his dads and asks for advice. or that he'd at least be able to simply ask the twins what their problem is. but no, he wouldn't be at that point yet, still partially convinced he needs to handle his problems alone, or that whoever he told would hate him too, or that the twins would be pissed at him for not figuring out why they hate him for himself (darius had been helping him unlearn some of that and he's prolly even in therapy but this stuff takes a long time to unlearn). hunter tries to figure it out on his own before eventually breaking and either A: apologizing profusely to them and begging them not to hate him B: lashing out angrily. it ends up okay in the end, though

-as he gets more comfortable with things, hunter doesn't need to cling to the twins anymore. but he still hangs out with them cuz by then he genuinely just likes them as people

-someone at school once referred to him as "the third blight triplet" as a dig at him hanging around his siblings so much. but he wasn't offended, he was actually super happy and flattered about being included with those two.

-he once briefly considered dyeing his hair green to match theirs but after thinking about it, he firmly decided against it. because something like hair would end up feeling less like the intended "matching to show you're a part of the group, like when some best friends all have matching necklaces, or when a team has matching uniforms" and more like he'd be making himself into a copy of them. which would not be good for any of their emotional wellbeing.

-i mentioned that i think the twins would eventually stop getting into so much trouble once they realize they don't have the same strict rules to rebel against and don't need to act out to get attention. but sometime before that but after they befriend hunter, they invite him to go cause mischief with them. a bit because he's their friend now and that's their idea of having fun with friends, a bit because they think some rebellion would be healthy for hunter

-hunter actually agrees. a little bit from peer pressure, sure. but also a part of him kinda needs to rebel, after being so controlled by belos his whole life. and there's also this unhealthy part of him that's unnerved by how non-abusive his new family is and wants to push limits until someone finally snaps (he can't yet fully accept that no matter what he does, no one is gonna snap and hurt him)

-it's something pretty tame by the twins' standards. like, adding some graffiti to an already heavily graffitied alleyway or something. but hunter is having such an adrenaline rush. the twins feel proud of themselves for helping their high-strung brother let loose

-but then they get home and the reality of what they did fully sets in for hunter and he starts Freaking The Fuck Out and finds the nearest dad and confesses and starts profusely apologizing and begging for forgiveness (he accidentally rats the twins out in the process but it's fine because their dads are too busy focusing on calming down hunter to even consider punishing them. still though, they put that down as a second reason to not rope hunter into any more Shenanigans any time soon)

-the twins do decide that they still do need to teach him how to rebel, though. they just decide to stick to things that ARE allowed at home but weren't allowed in the emperor's coven. they egg him on into doing things like taking a nap or helping himself to snacks in between meals or putting off his homework and chores til after dinner instead of doing them as soon as he gets home

-his presence destabilizes the pre-established "the twins are A Unit (that their other sibling is not a part of)" dynamic that was going on with the twins and amity, and indirectly leads both emira and edric to develop closer individual relationships with amity. like, the twins were kinda already beginning to forge their own identities, and they had been getting closer with amity, but his presence accelerated that.

-before any of this, the twins had never really had any close friendships, outside of each other. like, they've had casual friends and romantic flings but no one they could truly be vulnerable around. and almost all of their friends were friends with *both of them as a unit* rather than with them as individuals. again, they were moving towards having their own identities and their own relationships, but their new family situation helped speed up the breaking down of their dependency, and emira and edric start trying to make some close friends of their own, outside of the family

hunter and edric:

-these two are absolute besties

-hunter claims to be the responsible one out of the pair but edric has had to hold hunter back from doing dumbass shit almost as many times as hunter has had to hold back edric. sometimes they balance each other out, other times they just amplify each other's very different flavours of stupidity.

-them fully being besties starts after edric and emira make it their mission to get hunter to break as many belos-rules as possible. edric hears that hunter was forbidden from studying or talking about wild magic. so he decides to get hunter talking about wild magic. and hunter starts infodumping and then apologizes and edric encourages him to continue. at first it's just to encourage rulebreaking but edric very quickly gets invested in what hunter's saying, as he has an interest in wild magic himself

-and something hunter says gets edric talking like "oh that reminds me of this beastkeeping principle" or "that's kinda like this lesson eda gave me" and he goes off on his own infodump

-which reminds hunter of something else he read. and the cycle of them just taking turns infodumping continues for HOURS. it only stops because of some outside factor like it being time for dinner

-from then on, these two just schedule time together to infodump at each other or to study their mutual interests together

-they've invited emira to these sessions before, but she inevitably gets bored after the first 20 minutes, so it's just brother time (amity has gotten involved once or twice, but usually she's not got much interest in joining them)

-edric starts bringing hunter along to his potions-and-wild-magic lessons with eda

-edric is a big people-person and hunter has been isolated and ignored for most of his life so having a best friend be right across the hallway is good for both of them (i mean, edric already had emira as a best friend living with him, but having more than just her is good for him)

-one might worry that edric would just go from being dependent on emira to being dependent on emira *and hunter* but. that doesn't happen. it instead teaches him how to be more independent. his time alone with hunter combined with his time studying beastkeeping and potions in canon show him that "hey, i can do things without emira and still be okay" which later brings the conclusion "i can probably do things without *anyone* and still be okay." he's still very extroverted and prefers not to be alone too much, but being alone is no longer his biggest fear.

-it is important to note that edric doesn't stop spending time with emira or replace her with hunter or anything. he's still got a very special friendship/sibling bond with her. but now he's spending time with her (sometimes alone, sometimes with hunter or amity or their dads, sometimes in social settings with friends) because he genuinely enjoys her company, rather than because he's scared to be alone and needs her.

-at some point it dawns on edric how hunter hardly ever got to act like a child, so he makes it a goal to fix this and gets amity and emira involved too. they make a plan to get together every so often to introduce hunter to things like snowball fights and pillow forts and cartoons on the crystal ball. the og blight siblings (but especially amity) realize that they were forced to grow out of that stuff too early by their parents, so these fun little sibling hangouts are good for all four of them

hunter and emira:

-emira is quick to be nice to him (he is sad and scared and sickly and she is a healer and has Eldest Sister Syndrome) but is slower than the others to fully Trust him (she is habitually cautious on amity and edric's behalf and he's a new person and (though he already proved he was 100% not loyal to the emperor/not Like That anymore) she heard how he treated amity at eclipse lake)

-in those early days when hunter is kinda clinging to the twins for guidance, he clings harder to emira than to edric, because she acts just a little bit more sure of herself that edric

-in some ways this endears him to her and gets her to trust him faster.

-but it also kinda bothers her because having ONE brother clinging to her all the time already felt suffocating, she doesn't know how she'll deal with a second one. he at least doesn't bring the same "being considered a matched pair" baggage that edric did, but still.

-hunter stops clinging to her (and edric) as he gets more comfortable and less nervous about life. and edric is no longer glued to her side almost 24/7 when they're at home, because now he's got a brother to hang out with (or sometimes he hangs out with amity because, as mentioned many paragraphs ago, he and emira have both forged their own close relationships with amity)

-emira's really relieved to have some alone time to figure herself out, and to not have the constant low-level stress of people needing her all of the time

-but she is also Afraid. hunter doesn't need her for guidance anymore. edric doesn't need her constant company anymore. even amity doesn't need emira to protect and take care of her anymore (because now there are actual adults to run to). she worries that, now that no one *needs* her, no one will *want* her anymore.

-her fears prove unfounded as nobody stops hanging out with her but she's still a little worried. but she tries to push those feelings down/hide them. but edric notices something's up because they've spent 16+ years together so he can recognize when she's hiding something. so she opens up to him and he reassures her that he still likes her (in a way, moreso now than ever) now that he isn't so dependent on her, and he's always happy to spend time with her. there is probably a little bit of crying and/or hugging involved. with edric's encouragement, she also opens up to amity and hunter about it and they also reassure her.

-emira and her siblings (but especially her and edric) have a big 4-way talk about what they all need, and how to make each other feel included but not suffocated. surprisingly healthy and responsible communication between all of them.

-it's good for her, to have more time alone without any of her siblings. sometimes she just enjoys the quiet or figures herself out and explores her own interests. sometimes she uses it to make friends outside the family, to befriend them as *just emira*, rather than as emira-and-edric or as emira-and-edric-and-hunter

-hunter (grimwalker) and emira (twin) bond over feeling like a copy of somebody else. edric can kinda also relate but he's not as distressed about it as emira and hunter are

-hunter and emira (and occasionally edric) like to hang out by putting on skin care face masks (hunter learned to enjoy them from darius long before he became a blight) and complain about life or commiserate about their emotional Issues. or just watch low-budget movies and mock them relentlessly

-but a lot of their friendship, when no one else is there to bring the energy, is just kind of a quiet deal. hanging out in the same room doing different things, like cats do. or doing little favours for one another. like, hunter will braid emira's hair and emira will heal the scrapes and bruises hunter got from flyer derby practice

-emira is the first family member that hunter is comfortable receiving physical affection from (aside from dadrius, who earned that honour way back when their family was just himself and hunter). i just Feel It In My Heart

bonus hunter and amity headcanon:

-they like to go to the library together. for amity, it's sometimes to do her job, sometimes just to read. for hunter, it's to be able to finally read all he wants about wild magic without having to be secretive about it. sometimes amity will help him get books from the forbidden stacks (after asking for permission from the head librarian- she learned her lesson from that one time with luz.) eventually, she trusts him enough to let him into her secret hideout. he's allowed to use it anytime he needs to, on the conditions that he doesn't snoop through her personal belongings, and that he'll get out if she needs to use it to be alone

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #darius blight au #<look that tag up on my blog if ur wondering the context of this #i love how MULTIPLE people have gotten invested in this au that i originally made up as a joke #we all came for the shitpost stayed for the possibility of sweet family dynamics (and occasionally Wacky Hijinks)#brady bunch but all the kids are traumatized and also two of them did kinda try tokill eachother once #and one of the parents was just an awful parent until recently #and with a marriage that makes absolutely zero logical sense #i am having a fun time with this au #yes everyone is a lil ooc but i mostly just go with what i think would be sweet or funny :P #update: the IRONY of the fact that i was just reminded that this post was sitting in my drafts and i was meaning to publish it #by seeing and reblogging a post absolutely dunking on canon alador #lmao #aladarius

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gailthulu · 2 years

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I hate to be blunt but my uh my cousin's evil husband left a bowl of antifreeze out for all the neighborhood cats, which eats their stomach and intestines from the inside out, INCLUDING neighbors "barn cats". In my town garbage bags FULL of completely mutilated cats were found. They caught the guy but the damage was done. There was another kid in my neighborhood who did that, a kid at school who bragged about killing animals, the older class got sent home from a friend trip early cause kids went into a tractor supply and killed baby chicks. The police and animal control just tell everyone to shoot the roaming pets in their yards, and they absolutely do. What does everyone have to do to get through to you people just list every case of animal death there is? Oh but that's "triggering". Hm. Sad. Do you think the monsters in every neighborhood constantly killing outdoor pets are doing so in a humane manner? NO. They're mutilating them! Google it. Google what a pet looks like skinned alive, one crushed into the pavement, a burned one etc. If you can't even type it into Google how the HELL are you allowing it to happen to your babies? It's sick! What's next "my six month old infant has a brain so I'm gonna let it eat poison in traffic"? If you really don't care about valuing life then don't comment and don't own any living things. But you're not gonna give your uninformed, boldly ignorant opinion on animal care that will get people's pets and local wildlife killed in horrible ways. "Working cat" LMAO. I was raised on a farm, worked at stables and the local conservation facility. You don't know basic husbandry? You can't be bothered to educate yourself or even listen to experts. Animal abuse and neglect goes hand in hand and you shouldn't be allowed to own animals if you're going to throw them to predators, cars, and poison, etc... Here's hoping someone who can be bothered to give a shit confiscates your animals lol

my brother in christ, what the fuck-

not sure when you sent this bc i don't check my asks but like, instead of writing a goddamn novel telling me off for a comment i left on a post probably years ago, maybe put that energy towards rescuing an animal or something.

my views have changed a bit since that comment, assuming I'm thinking of the one you got so indignant about. of course i don't think letting animals, specifically pets, out by themselves is a good idea. domestic cats are like, the #1 cause of the songbird population decreasing (and if i remember right, the extinction of some). i also know people are sick and twisted serial killers in the making that will do terrible things to stray animals. but i swear to god if someone condescends to me like I'm a stupid fucking baby who doesn't know anything again i think i will explode. sending people vitriolic anons is a coward's move in and of itself, but like, going off on someone without knowing their background, without knowing how old the post or comment was, or without knowing them personally is generally just a bad move.

i know i should probably just delete this ask and go but like, the fact that people still do this whole 'i'm gonna send this person i disagree with a disgustingly long anon ask about why they're a terrible person' thing is fucking bonkers to me. i am sure you have something better to do than traumatize people like PETA activists trying to convince people to go vegan with animal torture porn.

y'all need to get a better hobby. or get a hobby, actually.

#gailthulu asks #tw animal suffering #mentions of animal abuse #stop sending people asks like this #this shit legit makes my blood boil

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lgcnayoung · 2 months

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it’s an unfortunate reality that idols–or really, anyone in the public eye–of opposite genders are not encouraged to interact out in the open, if not downright prohibited, lest rumors start spreading that “something” is going on. not to mention, it’s even hard for people who are genuinely just friends to interact without someone assuming they could be more, which is why haru has always made an effort to meet up with or talk to his friends who also happen to be girls in private, or somewhere he knows he won’t be caught - like backstage at a shared event or something where it was inevitable that they’d be near each other.

that’s why when he decides to send nayoung a gift for her birthday coming up, his thought is no different. he still makes sure to wrap her gift (a white and purple cat plushie and another purple cat plushie because he was indecisive as hell between the two and wasn’t sure which she’d prefer more, okay!) nicely–albeit in giftwrap he found that makes the box look like a block of cheese but he thought she’d find it funny–before placing it in a regular packing box along with a birthday card so that at least this way, it’ll look unassuming to the outside eye.

he even went through the effort of getting the nova dorm address from his manager after promising he wasn’t asking so he could visit himself; he was just going to send a package. it took a bit of convincing but he managed to get it somehow so he wasn’t going to waste this chance, even if truthfully, a part of him deep down was so nervous.

it’s not that he doesn’t buy gifts for others, whether it be for their birthday or a holiday or even to treat someone because he’s apparently in a position where he can do that now, but something about doing this for nayoung felt different; more nerve-wracking, even. but since he’s already bought everything and it was all prepared, he had no reason to not send the package - so after hyping himself up a lot, he quickly sends it off without giving himself a second thought or chance to take it back.

to. nayounghappy birthday! and congrats on your recent comeback!! was your first birthday as a debuted idol fun? crazy? weird? ㅋㅋ i could probably just message you to ask but it seemed more fun this way lol plus i’m sending this before the 16th so it can be delivered to you on the day of but if it arrives late, it’s not my fault, okay?! i tried my best!honestly, i wasn’t sure what you might want or need right now but people like plushies right…? but i couldn’t decide which one to get you so… if you don’t want either, i still have the receipts so i can return it and get you something else ㅋㅋ but i do hope you like it! if not, please go easy on me :’)i hope your birthday was good and that this upcoming year will be good to you too [a drawing of a smiley face cat and thumb up: 😺👍]- haru

whoever sends her a package that looks like a cheese block really has nayoung questioning what this is, but it’s…. it’s effective in getting her attention. hopefully it didn’t have cheese inside!? and since it is already the eve of her birthday, she has some time for herself as she digs into the package and unwraps it slowly, to unwrap it into… another box! “what could this be?”

there’s a card sitting right there, and while the temptation is there to dig into the box first, she really should read the letter first. and hopefully it’s a note that actually has writing it because… genuinely, nayoung doesn’t like it when a letter simply says, “dear ___, from ____”, something that bugged her mom that also passed down to nayoung herself. pleasantly surprised, the letter is not empty, and her mouth is pursed as she slowly reads it.

oh drat, she should’ve opened the package first because it did mention what he got, but it’s okay, it was vague at best. plushies, huh! hopefully they weren’t something she didn’t like, but haru knew her well anyway so they likely would be alright… it’d be rude to ask for a return receipt but if she really didn’t like it, nayoung wouldn’t hesitate to tell him to exchange it so…. hopefully it wouldn’t get to that point.

setting the note aside, nayoung’s glad she’s opening this quietly on her own because she probably looks so silly right now, so excited like a little child but hey, it was only her birthday once a year, right?! and it makes a difference when it’s coming from someone that’s close to her. after opening the lid to the box, she buries her hands to her face, gasping at first then laughing, because one of them looked rather… odd, but cute ( impressionable. yes yes. ) and the other was very typically cute, both in shades of purple. she loves them. she’s going to stick them on her pillows. they even fit her decor. squishing them in her palm and against her face, she snaps a quick picture with the two and sends it off to haru.

[ sns ➪ ☀️ ] I GOT IT!!!!! [ sns ➪ ☀️ ] where are the return receipts, you’re going to need them…[ sns ➪ ☀️ ] i’m just kidding! thank you haru TTT—-TTT you remembered meee hehehehe [ sns ➪ ☀️ ] what’s with… the cheese though

#(( nayoungs special day :: notes ))#not the smiley cat and dthumbs up HAHAHA #lgcharu #lgc:wc003

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mermaidsirennikita · 4 months

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Thoughts on the Golden Globe winners?

I'm really annoyed that Charles Melton and Past Lives lost their categories. Charles easily gave one of the best performances of the year (RDJ, in contrast, gave one of the most "he is desperate for an Oscar and overdoing it" performances.... I mean, really, he was outdone by Bradley Cooper more than anyone) and Past Lives had such a beautiful, introspective tone, script, everything. I can see why it was beaten out in certain categories, but Anatomy of a Fall beating it out otherwise... Nah.

I also find it interesting that both losses involved Asian creatives.

So happy for Lily Gladstone and Cillian, I really believe in those wins. Although the direct of The Holdovers cats a pall over the movie (I didn't realize he had accusations against him when I watched the movie, and though I don't think it should be a major awards contender, I thought it was really sweet and the performances were pretty much uniformly strong) I'm thrilled for Da'Vine. She was so, so good and gave an anchoring performance.

I haven't seen Poor Things yet but I'm a fan of the Yorgos/Tony McNamara team, and it sounds right up my alley. I'm not mad at Emma winning that award. Yorgos and Tony bring out the best in her. But that needs to be it, because Lily is otherwise THE ONE. Her speech was so moving. I also really like the way Leo has been taking a step back for her to be showcased this season. He's got... his issues... but I'd love to see them perform together again. They have a very natural chemistry on and offscreen. Like, maybe we could see them in something mildly less dark together lol (big ask of Leo, I know).

Succession deservers everything it got. I honestly think Jeremy and Kieran gave equally strong performances, but I adore Kieran's talent and I really wanted him to win this year. I hope he repeats it at the Emmys. Sarah Snook supremacy. Matty Mac is always amazing and deserving. Let's gooooo.

Musical/Comedy category remains ridic, especially in TV. Jeremy Allen White is someone where I'm like... aware of his talent, though, so I'm not mad when he wins. Also, I'll be frank, the Calvin Klein ad convinced me that he deserves.

Surprised by Debicki because of the low quality script but she was the one light of those last two seasons and gave a uniformly strong performance. She really did a great job with capturing Diana's mannerisms and voice.

I honestly don't need Oppenheimer and Nolan getting all the awards it has. Killers of the Flower Moon was a much stronger film, to me. Like, I think Oppenheimer is one of Nolan's stronger movies. I like Oppenheimer. KOTFM is a totally different level. Aside from Cillian, I found the performances way stronger (I mean, we really need to stop pretending that Emily Blunt was good in that movie--I like Emily, but Jesus), the visual sensibility was less bOMBASTIC but more beautiful imo, and Scorsese did the thing.

#awards season 2023

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deliasqueen · 3 years

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HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE CATS

#IDK HOW I MISSED THIS??#i knew someone would have something to say about that 💀#i’m sorry #i feel like a fake lesbian 💀#but they are mean and have no purpose #you can’t do anything with them #at least dogs run and play and you can teach them things #every cat i’ve met has been so rude #and they scratch #i don’t get how ppl want them 💀#i have v strong feelings about cats i can’t help it #i need someone to convince me why i should like cats lol #submission

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bratz-kitten · 3 years

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most.

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way?

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people.

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family.

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever.

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

The Needs of Pain (part 2)

A/n since y’all liked part one!!

... i think i could make a part 3?? we’ll see lol

This is the LONGEST thing i’ve written on here wow,, and the smuttiest

Warnings: teasing, oral, unprotected sex (pls this is my first time writing full smut be gentle lol)

Exhaustion is an odd result of pain. I didn’t think I was that tired after the burn. I certainly didn’t feel sleepy while Kirigan cleaned my shoulder and brushed his soft lips and sharp teeth along my neck to distract me from the pain. Why am I even thinking of that? Of the way his breath felt against my skin, the way his tongue soothed any bites he left against my skin. I breathe out flatly.

Stop thinking of him. Stop thinking of him in that context--that’s why he did it. He enjoys getting under people’s skin, that’s why he’s always insulting the way I see the world. My hand reaches to my neck, touching my skin where I can still feel his lips on my skin, tracing the faint marks I had seen in the bathroom mirror.

I should have asked the healer to get rid of them before they fully formed, but the thought of showing them to anyone was too embarrassing to bear. I force my hand away, dropping it onto my pillow.

He had acted so strange today, he had been so blunt. It was a tactic. He wants to be in my head and I’m giving him what he wants. I sigh, rolling over and pulling my duvet further up my body. It’s too hot for this. Ugh. I kick the duvet off of my legs, letting my nightgown wrinkle up my body. Strong hands could pull the fabric up in a similar, yet much more euphoric way.

No. Who’s thoughts are these? The fact that I picture the same hands that dabbed at my burn earlier today has me questioning my sanity. I can’t sleep like this. Kirigan wanted to be in my head and now he is. Damn him. I can’t stand him which means I can never have him.

Desire has nothing to do with tolerance. The thought leaves my face warm and stomach twisted.

I sit up sharply, sliding out of bed tiredly. I’ll get some air and everything will be fine. The moon will clear my mind.

The Little Palace is strangely twisting at night, all long shadows and yellow lantern light. I slip out of my room quickly, but my thoughts are not immediately banished with the change of scenery. I must be ill. Infection must have set in regardless of my efforts and the healer sealed it beneath my skin and now it’s impacting me. Fever. I’m delusional with fever.

“I didn’t take you the kind for a late night trist.”

His voice leaves the hairs on the back of my neck standing like soldiers at attention. I manifested him the same way people manifest the devil. “Air.” My defense is childish. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d get some air.”

The sound of even footsteps leaves me frozen in place. “What keeps someone like you awake?” It’s like he can read through me. “Thoughts of me?”

He can never know. “Obviously.”

My sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed, he lets out an almost humored breath. “Or perhaps it’s pain.”

The comment is so confusing I almost don’t realize he’s bringing up my shoulder injury. How had I let him see me so vulnerable? Why did he seem somewhat concerned in his own way?

“My shoulder’s perfectly fine.” Good. A normal direction for this conversation to head. “It took the Healer all of two minutes.”

The touch on my shoulder is so sudden I almost jump. Kirigan doesn’t shy away at that, fingers firmly brushing down the skin. “It feels the same.”

I could scream. His strange observation means nothing to me, but the implication is enough to drive me mad. The implication that he knows my skin well enough to be able to judge whether the healed skin feels different is sickening. I’m tired of this.

I turn on my heels, all of my tiredness and irritation twisting in me. “Even if it didn’t, it’s none of your concern.”

“I didn’t realize you were extra irritable when you’re tired.”

Every conversation with him leaves me feeling petulant. “I’m not tired.” I cross my arms, keep my expression set. “I just--I wanted to get some air.”

“Hm.” He takes a step forward, preparing to close the small distance I’d managed to create between us. “And why is that?”

The question leaves me irritated in an odd way. A flat way. There’s a narcissistic entitlement in that question. An entitlement to my thoughts. I shrug. “I hoped it’d make me tired.”

Kirigan draws his eyebrows together, curiosity and something resembling amusement playing at his expression. “If you’d like to be tired, I think I know a few ways to be of assistance.”

A faint, aggravating warmth comes to my face. Not only did my lie earn me a ridiculous innuendo, it’s also trapped me in a corner I cannot escape. Healing from the burn had left me pathetically drowsy. There’s no way he can’t see through me, a tired haze has to be visible on my face. My eyelids feel weighted and I’m too distracted by my deep longing for sleep to hold onto irritation.

“I’m sure I’ll manage on my own.” The words are not meant to be a challenge, just a way to dismiss him. I don’t think he takes them that way.

He draws his eyebrows together, eyes threatening to lose that curious quality. Kirigan steps forward, I step back blankly, desperate to keep enough distance to keep what’s left of my wits about me. He ignores my reaction, taking another step forward. I take another step back. My back touches the wall. I am a mouse and he’s an excited cat.

“You don’t have to,” his voice is too low, too intimate, “I’m not sure that’s something you want to understand.”

My chin raises just slightly, a silent protest. “Dependency is a fatal flaw.”

“So is desire,” his reply is much too quick. “Desire is worse, because one can resist dependency based on pride...but desire, that is something that one sacrifices for.”

Maybe if I was less tired I’d bother to interpret his words a little more. But all I can focus on is his tone--the quality of it. “You sound heavy.” My voice is as light as the night breeze I was craving moments ago. “But you always sound heavy.” It’s the wistful observation of someone slowly disappearing. “At least you’re pretty,” I muse, falling more and more distant by the second.

Something soft breaks across his features, his lips quirking. “Pretty?”

I rest my back against the wall comfortably, eyes shutting without permission. “I’m sure I’ll regret that comment in a moment.”

He stays silent, but his presence does not disappear. I can’t tell if I’m glad for it. The warm touch on my shoulder startles me out of my drowsy trance. Panic has me ready to jump off the wall, but Kirigan brushes his thumb up and down my shoulder. His touch sets any skin that comes in contact with him aflame. I shouldn’t find the gesture so comforting. My eyes flutter shut again, my body relaxing against the wall. When my protest dies out before it begins, Kirigan shifts closer. I’m confused, but too at peace to answer. Something velvety and warm brushes against my collar. Soft and warm and electric. He’s kissing my skin again.

My lips part in hopes of arguing, but when his teeth graze the skin he already marked earlier I’m gone. My eyes shut again, but this time it’s different. Pleasure and drowsiness clear me of all inhibitions as his touch becomes more and more assured. I let him test me, his mouth moving against any and all exposed skin. I don’t even stop him when I feel his hands graze the hem of my nightgown, wrinkling it the way I imagined earlier.

“Kirigan.” I need to find my strength, but what’s the point of strength when his touch leaves me so warm? The only acknowledgement of my protest he offers me is the lingering squeeze of my thigh before his long fingers begin to graze towards the inside of my thighs. I have no choice but to let his lips brush up my neck, his teeth grazing my skin the way they did earlier today. “Kirigan.” I try to sound firmer, but he destroys the rest of my sentence before I have the chance to get it out. His teeth nip the base of my neck, ruining my protest for a second time.

Maybe if I was less tired I’d be able to fight him off a little better, but I’m so drowsy I had trouble thinking before he started touching me. My eyes shut in both bliss and exhaustion. His thumb presses into my hip. Something in me stalls as his fingers brush the hem of my underwear--testing me, challenging me. I open my eyes on instinct, but he remains unbothered, slipping his thumb beneath the only fabric that divides us in order to better grip my hip.

I stiffen because of how badly I want to melt. This is bad. This is insane. We’re in a hallway in the middle of the night and he’s General Kirigan. Whatever attraction I feel is another tactic to manipulate me.

“We need to stop.” The command is weak, my voice as dry as my resolve.

He angles his head in order to regard me a little better. His expression is one of mock confusion as he smirks. Actually smirks. “Stop what?” False innocence drips from his voice as he leans towards me, expression amused as his lips near my own. “I haven’t even started yet.” My eyes widen, something that amuses him. “Y/n?”

I’m left on edge. I’m left wanting. My lips part flatly, but words feel so distant. “Yes?”

“What happened earlier?” His voice is the kind of sinful that’s meant to coax. Kirigan brushes his thumb across my shoulder, eyes watching mine cautiously. “How did you get burned?”

I push against the sultry quality of his voice. “I told you--an accident.”

“Hm.” His eyebrows draw together in a surprisingly soft way. I stare at him freely, but he ignores my gaze, eyes locked on my newly healed skin. Is he truly that concerned? “Whose accident?”

I swallow once. “My own.” He still isn’t looking at me. “I’m not exactly the most coordinated person, you’ve witnessed my clumsiness yourself.”

Kirigan is not convinced. Perhaps he will never fully buy my partial lie. His grip on me hardens. Restraint. I may not be able to win against his paranoia, but I might be able to distract him. Cautiously, I move one hand forward, touching the hand that’s on my shoulder. I hesitate. Touching him without prompting almost feels too intimate. I’m being ridiculous. I brush my fingers against the back of his palm, letting my touch trail up his forearm.

“Y/n.” My name borders on a warning.

I suppress a smile, playing into my sleepiness as I tilt my head to the side. “Yes?”

He doesn’t reply, expression tightening as my hand snares around his wrist, pulling it off my shoulder with more care than I thought myself capable of. The intensity of his gaze is enough to burn me. I turn my full attention to his hand. I’d never admit this out loud, but this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about how objectively attractive his hands are. I kiss each of his knuckles slowly, brushing my lips against his skin tentatively.

To my surprise, he allows my indulgence. I glance at him through my lashes. Kirigan’s eyes are shut, expression bordering on pained. “Kirigan?”

He opens his eyes but his expression does not ease. His other hand leaves my thigh, grabbing the low collar of my nightgown with such a fierce speed it takes me a second to realize what’s happening. He pulls me away from the wall in a way that borders on violent.

“I don’t know who you’re protecting, but I guarantee you they’re not worth it.” The words are acidic. He’s seething. “I grow tired of your resistance.”

If he hadn’t transformed into something so untamed, I might have had enough gall to tell him I grow tired of being toyed with. I say nothing, instead I take in the abrasiveness of his anger, the tension of his grip on the thin fabric that clothes me. I am unflinching in my assessment in the most tired way possible, eyes struggling not to shut and body desperate to rest, but even more desperate for him. His eyes stare into mine, searching for something I am too far gone to offer. He must realize my sleepiness is genuine because he soon drops his gaze, taking his time in analyzing the even rise and fall of my chest as well as the hint of cleavage his grip on my nightgown is exposing. Pure heat finds itself in my face, chest, and worst of all---core. His staring lacks any shame.

Kirigan parts his lips as if to speak but then instead takes a moment to lick them. The thought of his tongue in relation to lips only makes the burning in me worse. It’s practically an ache. A needy one.

“I grow weary of your lack of understanding.”

Understanding? “What is there to understand?”

His head angles itself to one side but he doesn’t meet my gaze. The hold he has on me loosens just enough so that his hold on me is no longer taut. That should not disappoint me the way it does. I wait patiently, ignoring the bundle of unexplained nerves in my stomach as best as I can. Something strange colors his features when he finally looks at me again, something almost vulnerable.

“I brought you here.” He sounds farther from me than ever. “I…” His exhale is gentle, but his expression is quick to harden. “Who are you so willing to protect?”

I must be really tired because his voice sounds like it borders on heart ache. If I didn’t fear Arthur’s safety I’d tell Kirigan everything if it meant his pain would dissipate. I never thought Kirigan’s potential pain would bother me, but now that I’ve seen him look stricken by something so weighted--now that I’ve seen the way he wears pain--I don’t want to be the one to give him that. I want to be the one to give him some kind of sanctuary. The thought leaves me with a desire to flea.

“Will you just believe me when I say it’s no one?” In a way that’s the truth. Arthur is not particularly significant unless you’re a young Grisha female with a desire for heart ache. “No one worth mentioning at least.”

He’s quick to retighten his hold on my nightgown, leaving the fabric taut and more of me exposed. “You being desperate to protect them makes them worth interest.” A different response than I expected.

My lips thin. “Only because it was a small accident. They don’t deserve to be punished over the briefest loss of focus.”

I take his silence as an indicator that he is considering my words. His free hand finds my shoulder as he pulls me even closer to him by the fabric he’s gripping. “And if I were to revoke the threat of punishment?” His voice is the definition of temptation, low and promising and coddling me with its sinfulness. I still as Kirigan leans forward so that his lips are practically on my ear. “Then would you tell me? If I released you from the binds of your nobility?” My lips part but I have no words prepared. Before I can think of what to say, his lips graze the side of my jaw before his teeth nip at the end of my ear. “Tell me just to humor me.”

The command doesn’t make sense to me, but from his lips it feels important. “You won’t hurt them for what happened?”

His voice seems rougher than before, “Would that make a difference?”

“It would make all the difference.” I don’t like the honesty of my words.

Kirigan allows one hand to trail down my waist--a gesture I consider obscenely intimate when paired with the soft brush of his lips on my collar. “I already know who.” His voice is a dark hum. “I was always going to know one way or another--but it’s good to know you would have told me.”

My stomach lurches, dread pouring into me like tar. Before fear can force me to take action, Kirigan begins to leave open mouth kisses from the top of my jaw to the bottom of my neck, taking his time to assault any spot of skin with his tongue that he wants. This reminds me too much of earlier--touches meant to distract from pain with the use of pleasure.

“Are you--” His mouth is now on my collar, threatening to destroy my question. “Are you going to hurt him?”

At that Kirigan straightens. The sudden lack of contact leaves me cold. I shouldn't be thinking of him. Of his touch. “I’m curious,” he draws out each syllable, delighting in my nerves, “Would you bear his punishment?”

I’m not sure. I hate that. I haven’t known Arthur for that long, and while he’s kind, he also seems to see all women as replaceable. That isn’t reason for him to endure Kirigan’s punishment but I don’t know him well enough to just blindly agree to that. I loathe myself for not being noble enough to take Arthur’s punishment instantly.

“What kind of punishment?”

Kirigan’s expression twists into a greedy smile. He pushes me back easily, pressing me into the wall with more confidence than ever. I’m silent in my confusion until he presses himself against me and I feel something hard and bulging press into where I’m neediest. I stifle a gasp of surprise and something similar to pleasure. “I’m sure I could think of something for you.” I’d care more about my confusion if hot need wasn’t flooding my thoughts and my body with undeniable desperation. “I haven’t even spoken to him.” I exhale, untrusting relief desperate to escape me. Kirigan is quick to lean forward, lips brushing my ear as he prepares to whisper. “I’m more likely to harm him because he has your favor than anything else.”

Warmth burns my face. “He doesn’t--he’s not exactly the one that holds my favor.”

The heat of his breath adds to my burning as he presses his bulge into my core again. “And who does?”

I’m not sure what he considers favor, but if it has anything to do with wanting he wins. But he can never know that. “There are some contenders, but no one yet.”

His hand moves off my hip and nears my throat. “Would it be too bold to assume I’m on the short list?”

He’s two steps away from taking me in an open hallway, I doubt he finds much bold. “Do you want to be?”

Kirigan’s hand tightens on my throat. “I’ve made it clear from the beginning what I want.” His words are lethal and each syllable has him restricting my airflow a little more. Something in me must be broken because my neediness only worsens. “I brought you here because I see all that you could be. Forget being a Saint, we could be gods.” The sentiment is so raw it’s almost harder to bear than his tight grip on my neck. He leans close again, his scent only adding to my budding lightheadedness. “Say the word, and I could have you praising me like I’m already a god.” My stomach knots in both nerves and insatiable hunger. “Though I’m the one that would be doing the worshipping.”

My resolve is shattered, leaving me broken and twisting. He releases his hold on my neck in order to move his hand beneath my chin. There is nothing gentle about the way he jerks my head forward, forcing me to look into his eyes. Something about the look he gives me has me melting. His eyes are searching for something in me.

He must find whatever he’s looking for because I feel his touch against my heat, fingers pressing against fabric. I bite my lip on instinct, suppressing the sound of my undoing. Kirigan’s eyes never leave mine as the hand on my chin moves to brush against my bottom lip.

“I can only give you what you want if you tell me what that is.”

He exhales slowly, pressing his thumb against my lip downwards. My mouth parts on instinct, something that he takes well. His thumb enters my mouth slowly, taking in my reaction as I taste his skin on my tongue. Kirigan pulls his thumb away from my tongue slowly, a thin string of saliva connecting him to my mouth. With one swift tug, his free hand pulls the only fabric separating him from where I want him most down my thighs. His expression reveals nothing as his thumb, still wet with my saliva, is pressed against my core. His touch teases my clit, just barely brushing where I need him most. The whine that escapes me is so desperate I’m ashamed I can’t help it.

“So wet already,” his appraisal is gentle, the praise whispered against my throat as his lips brush against my neck. “So wet, so needy that you’d let me take you in this hallway and I’ve hardly touched you.” His finger presses further into me. I let out another pathetic breath. “A pity, someone like you--so painfully under cared for.” I’m reduced to nothing by his words and touch. “What I’d give to undue you here, against the wall--I’d have you crying so loudly everyone would know that I’ve claimed you, that I’ve made you mine.” Before I can reflect on his words, he steps back, pulling my underwear back up as quickly as he yanked it down.

I let out an instinctual whine. My hand moves to his arm, grabbing him like he’s the only thing keeping me tethered to the earth. “What--”

Kirigan squeezes my hand, a predator’s smile on his lips. “I want to feel all of you,” his hand squeezes my hip, “I can’t exactly do that against a wall, dove of mine,” he leans forward, lips brushing against my jaw in a way that leaves me chilled and melting at the same time, “At least not the first time.”

His whisper forces my breathing to hitch, a fact that he notices with an amused look as his thumb brushes against my collar. Kirigan pulls me away from the wall easily. Even the causal touch feels electric against my skin.

The walk towards my room is tense, his hands never leaving me as if he’s aware of how necessary it is to keep me distracted to ward off my better sense. When we reach my door, Kirigan opens it like it’s his. Entitled. Typical.

I step into the room, his touch lingering on my arm. A brief shyness pushes itself into my chest. I had let Kirigan touch me in a public space and lead me back to my room. The door closes. I don’t turn.

Kirigan’s hand squeezes my shoulder. “Shy, now?” His question is teasing, rekindling the fire beneath my skin as he places an open mouth kiss on my neck. He plays with the thin strap of my nightgown, pushing it off my shoulder. He kisses down my neck, collarbone, and shoulder. My inhibitions are melted away again. “When your breathing stalls like that,” his whisper is enough to elicit a desperate shudder, “I am left desperate.”

He leans forward, mouth trailing down my chest, coming dangerously close to my breasts. The electric current of his touch is all consuming and addicting. I press my back into his chest. His hands are the opposite of shy, touching me everywhere except where I’m most desperate. Kirigan’s hand places itself between my thighs, using his thumb to tease my entrance. I let out a needy sound. And then he retracts his hand, grabbing my shoulders and turning me in one swift motion.

“Kirigan.”

His eyes are dark, clouded by something I don’t understand but am too aware that I reciprocate. “Tell me that I have your favor.” His words are taut, bordering on snapping. Kirigan’s grip on me tightens hard enough to bruise, an assertive need taking over him. “That you want me.”

Desire, pride, and rationality twist in my stomach, leaving me too distracted to form words. My gaze drops to the ground on instinct, something Kirigan clearly finds unacceptable because he’s quick to grab my chin and force my eyes to meet his.

I swallow once, courage withering beneath the look in his eyes. It’s as twisted as a spindling shadow, but the look is fierce admirational, appreciation so deep I could drown in it. It scares and consols me all at once. “I want you.” There’s something pained about such powerful emotion. I loathe and am empowered by it all at once. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” The words leave my throat scorching with their sincerity.

As soon as the words leave me, he’s closing the distance between us, the slightest exhale of tension leaving his lips before they meet mine, prepared to devour me. I reciprocate his actions on instinct alone. There is no hesitation, no space, and yet it is not enough. Not enough and yet I don’t know how to be closer. But Kirigan does. One of his hands cup my cheek, coaxing me towards him as if I could possibly have the will to leave him. He steps forward, guiding me to step back. I obey fluidly until I feel something hit the back of my legs. It’d startle me if I wasn’t so consumed by his touch.

His mouth begins to move away from my skin. I chase after him, desperate to keep him touching me. He stops me by placing a hand on my shoulder, a warning about my neediness. I pout, but as he studies me I pant. Maybe the excuse for air was a good idea. I don’t fight the uneasiness of my breathing as I hold Kirigan’s gaze. He regards me with a patience I consider unbearable, taking in the determined look in his eyes, my swollen lips, disheveled hair, and the top of my night gown that’s half falling off.

It’s in this moment I realize how much more vulnerable than him I am.

If Kirigan notices any shift in me, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he adjusts his hand on my cheek, his thumb brushing the hot skin gently. “You are everything.” His voice is cracking glass. “Everything that’s good, at least.”

Maybe he did notice my initial reaction because I am no longer certain that I am the one that’s most vulnerable. “You’re better than you think.” I only say this because it would only weigh on me more to stay silent. “I see it and you don’t want me to.”

His hand continues to stroke my cheek. “I want you to see all of me.” The heavy beating of my heart seems to stall in my chest. Kirigan drops his hand before grasping the hem of my nightgown. He pulls the fabric upwards easily, bundling the fabric above my hip. “I want you to…” He exhales flatly, pulling the fabric upwards even more. Nerves flood my stomach as he leans towards me, kissing down my jaw. “To know me,” he whispers against my throat.

I am nothing but uneven breaths as he mouth moves down my chest, stalling only once he’s reached my breasts. He pushes me forward easily, guiding me so that I’m laying on my bed. He’s quick to move over me, kissing up my neck as he adjusts so that I’m against the headboard.

When he pulls away again, I’m left pouting. He grins, fueled by my disappointment. “Don’t worry,” he breathes, fingers hooking around the waistband of my underwear before tugging it down my legs easily, “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”

Being so exposed has my doubts flooding back, but Kirigan is quick to fight against my instincts in a way only he seems capable of. He squeezes the inside of my upper thigh before leaning down, pressing his mouth onto the skin his fingers just touched. His kisses here are meant to leave me even more desperate, each nip and fleeting pass of his tongue is lazy yet intentional. I am incapable of doing else besides letting out pathetic whines.

He ignores where I need him most, kissing up my thigh, across my lower stomach, and then down my other thigh. Kirigan continues the pattern across my skin, ignoring any pleas I swallow my pride to give. He is not rushed by my words or cries or the occasional desperate adjustment of my hips.

Kirigan lifts his head slightly, releasing my inner thigh with an obscene ‘pop’. “Patience.” His fingers trail up my thigh and over my core, teasing my entrance with his lithe fingers. “Unless you’re ready to beg?”

It’s a challenge, like everything else. The urge to give him my pride to satisfy the electric desire I’m not sure I’m capable of bearing. But then I note his tense hold on my thigh. A sign of restraint, of want.

“And if I want you to beg for me?” I don’t know where the words come from, but they charge the room with potential.

Something strange crosses his fingers before his lips tilt upwards in a dark way. “Would you like the strength of that? To have someone like me powerless before you?” My face warms. Kirigan leaves a lingering kiss on my thigh before he moves off the bed. I sigh at the loss of contact, but my tired neediness stalls at the sound of his belt coming undone. “I want to see you on your knees.” I sit up carelessly, desperate to obey him. I’m kneeling in front of him in an instant, taking in his length. The size of it has me gaping. “Open your mouth.”

I take the order more eagerly than I should, but I make no move to take him. This is just another challenge. I keep my eyes on his as I stick my tongue out before licking the bottom of his member all the way up to his tip. The sound he lets out is pure sin. I lick his tip slowly, each motion of my tongue is strategic as I finally place him in my mouth. I hollow my cheeks, moving up and down slowly.

The pace is not enough for him, he grips my hair from my scalp as he thrusts into my mouth. The motion is more powerful than I expected and I am left unable to breathe. My slight gag does the opposite of discourage him, he repeats the motion again and again, pushing himself into me until I can feel him in my throat.

The sounds he lets out are a chorus to me, but it’s not enough. I need more control, I need a way to make him beg. I raise a hand, wrapping it around the base that I cannot fit into my mouth. I stroke him once slowly, making a point as I try to push myself back in order to make him want me more.

He groans again. I make a point of pushing myself off of him. Precum protrudes his tip. I lick it off of him slowly. I lick up and down his member in the smallest way possible.

“Y/n,” the restraint in his voice fuels my teasing, “Tease me and you’ll still be overwhelmed by want when the sun rises.”

A pout tugs at my lips before I open my mouth again, taking Kirigan to my limit. He lets me set the pace of my bobs at first, but then he becomes desperate, holding me in place by the roots of my hair as he moans and thrusts into me without restraint. He ignores my choking as he continues until he throws his head back, letting out a quick praise of my name.

He finishes in my mouth and I swallow all he offers me greedly. I back off my knees slowly, throat burning as his member leaves my mouth. “On the bed.” He’s turned into something insatiable. “Now.”

I move back to my bed, laying in the same position as before. He takes his time approaching me. When he finally gets to me, he kisses my thighs easily. I let out a small breath before something that’s pure pleasure meets my core. His tongue laps upwards lazily, grazing my clit but not quite touching it. My hips thrust towards his face, but with hand he holds me down. A coil in my stomach continues to build as he angles himself more purposefully, tongue finally taking care of my clit. My gasps become less and less reasonable as he continues to lap at all that my body has to offer. The coil tightens, I see stars--and then, like cruelty personified, he pulls away. His absence leaves me ready to cry out.

My desperation only fuels Kirigan as he lines himself with my entrance. Concern twists my stomach as I consider how full my mouth felt when he was in me. I expect some level of warning, but he thrusts into me with no warning. I let out a pathetic cry, but that means nothing to him as he pulls out just to thrust into me with full force again.

“Only I can hurt you,” he demands, thrusting into me as I call out his name. My eyes water at the sensation of such fullness, pleasure and pain combining themselves in a way that leaves me incapable of thought. “Your tears,” he muses, one hand moving to wipe at a tear rolling down my cheek, “Are mine.”

His thrusts become more and more brutal, less and less even. Each movement of his body in mine leaves me begging for more and less at the same time. He continues until the coil in my stomach tenses to the point of breaking.

“Kirigan,” I manage, voice far away, “I’m going t--”

“I know,” he offers, “finish with me, dove.” His hand finds my throat, adding the slightest bit of restrained pressure. “And do not hold in your cries.”

Two more sharp thrusts have us both finishing, calling out for each other as we try to draw out the high of our orgasms together.

We stay intertwined like that for longer than we should, but then Kirigan stands. I envy his ability to do so. I don’t call for him even though I still don’t want to be alone here. A moment later, I hear him approach. I’m too drowsy to ask what he’s doing as a damp towel is wiped against my forehead and inner thighs.

When he’s finished cleaning me, some raw emotion settles in my chest. “Are you leaving?”

Kirigan hesitates. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

I roll over, the motion leaves my body aching. Kirigan accepts my invitation, crawling beneath my sheets and adjusting our bodies so that he can rest his hand on my back.

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trashywritestrash · 3 years

Text

Fidget

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: about 2,633 (thank you @make-me-imagine for the count)

Warnings: a lot of swear words, reader has undiagnosed mental illness, Nick Fury is mean (sorry), Bucky and reader have a slightly implied romantic relationship but it’s not clearly stated, Bucky threatens to kill someone, canon level violence but not in great detail, a lot of swearing again, fluff, hurt/comfort, im venting okay

A/N: I am writing this to vent and now y’all have to deal with it. This is totally un-beta’d and it’s not about to be anytime soon. I just opened tumblr and went ham. Enjoy lol

A/N part 2: I know it’s no longer called “ptsd” but it’s incorrectly labeled on purpose to show that the character saying it isn’t updated and doesn’t know what they’re talking about

2:47 AM.

It’s almost three o’clock in the goddamn morning, and Bucky can’t sleep. This is a common occurrence, but that doesn’t make it any less fucking annoying. Quickly throwing on some clothes, he decides to go to the gym. Maybe working out will help tire him out- but he knows it won’t.

Entering the gym, Bucky isn’t surprised to see that it’s occupied. He is surprised, however, by the fact that it’s you working out at this hour. You should be in bed, sound asleep. Instead, you’re punching a training bag without wrapping your hands. He’s on the other side of the gym but he can see the bright red of blood speckled across your knuckles.

“Y/N?” Bucky calls out, not wanting to startle you. It seems he does anyway since your whole body flinches and you turn to him at lightning speed. Even though you’re looking at him, he can see your fists clenching and unclenching repeatedly- like a cat kneading. Except, you don’t look comfortable, “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, eyes falling to the floor, “I’m okay, Buck. Don’t worry.” You must think he can’t see the way your eyes water, but he does. They’re moments away from spilling over.

Bucky trusts you with his life. Nothing will ever change that. But right now, he knows he needs to proceed with caution. The last thing he wants to do is distress you further, “You’re bleeding. Can I bandage your hands for you?”

“It doesn’t hurt bad,” You shake your head again, still not looking Bucky in the eye.

He insists, “Please let me help. Just to cover the cuts.” Finally, you nod. Bucky slowly grabs the bright red first-aid kit from the wall before sitting on a nearby bench, leaving plenty of room for you. Taking a seat a good distance away, you silently hold out one of your hands. He carefully starts to treat your knuckles as he asks; “Do you want to talk about it?”

“There’s not much to talk about… This happens sometimes,” The hand he isn’t dressing is still fidgeting. You rub your thumb and first finger together, as if you’re imagining holding something between them.

Bucky doesn’t want to push you, but you don’t seem agitated by his questions. He continues, “Did something happen to trigger this?”

Another shake of your head, “I don’t think so. I just can’t get my head to stop moving.” Bucky switches hands, allowing you to move your bandaged one as you please.

“Your head?”

Waving your now-free hand, you try to explain. “Like my brain. Uh, what’s it called… The- um, the words?”

He starts piecing things together, “Your thoughts?”

It’s almost like a switch flips, “Yes! Thoughts! They’re super loud and keep changing.” You’re acting less like a cornered animal and more like an excited puppy, eyes lit up with emotion.

“Is this why you’ve been in your room all day?” Some of the other Avengers noticed your absence throughout the day; but none more than Bucky. Everyone had assumed you were tired- but there was a small part of Bucky that was nagging him, trying to convince him that something was wrong. His therapist was right: Bucky needs to learn to trust his instincts.

“Yeah… I don’t like to be around people like this. I’ll just bother them.”

Bucky felt a sharp pang of sadness in his heart, “How would you bother them?”

Your momentary excitement has now been replaced by a small frown, “I act different like this. I’m off.”

“You’re not a bother to me,” Bucky argues, “Is there something I can do to help?”

“Nah. I just have to ride it out. It’s not that bad. Usually, this lasts about a week and then I’ll be okay for a while. And then I feel numb for a week or two.”

You’ve already confided in him so much tonight; Bucky decides to leave that until later. With your hands cleaned and bandaged, Bucky gives you a gentle smile. “Thanks for telling me this, Y/N.”

“Thanks for listening, Bucky.” With that, you leave Bucky to sit and contemplate everything that just happened.

—————

That night, Bucky begins his research. With the help of FRIDAY and Google, he starts trying to get a better understanding of what is happening in your mind. He’s able to learn a good amount of information before he falls asleep, thinking of you the entire time.

In the morning, Bucky finds that you have decided to skip breakfast with the group. Not that he blames you- they can get quite rowdy even this early. He grabs some of your favorite foods and brings them to you. Bucky knocks on your door, waiting for you to answer before walking in. Once he receives the go-ahead, he enters with a gentle smile.

“Hey, doll. I saw you weren’t at breakfast and brought you some stuff. Wanted to make sure you ate.”

You smile wide, “Thanks, Buck! Do you want to join me? You don’t have to though! I don’t know if you have anything scheduled or if you have training…”

Bucky steps further into the room, taking a seat at the edge of your bed. “I would love to join you.”

The two of you make small talk for a while until Bucky brings up a topic he knows will kill your cheery mood. “You should join us for movie night later.”

As expected, you frown almost instantly, “Thanks, but I don’t want them to see me like this.”

“You can sit in the back with me. You can say or do whatever you want; I promise you won’t bother me. And if it gets to be too much, tell me and we’ll leave.”

Looking over at Bucky, you see the look on his face and automatically agree.

—————

You quickly regret that decision.

Sitting next to him on the couch, you start fidgeting with your hands. You stare down at your lap and tense up your body. The movie has already started, so the lights are dim and Bucky has to whisper to talk to you.

“How are you feeling?”

“I feel out of place. Like I don’t belong here.” You don’t look at him when you talk, which worries him more than it probably should.

Bucky cautiously asks, “Do you want to leave?” But you just shake your head and point at his metal hand.

“Can I?”

You’re already sitting on his left side, so it’s easy for Bucky to move his arm closer to you. Taking his metal hand in yours, you move it to rest on your lap. You gently take hold of his metal index finger and wiggle it, bending the knuckle and watching how it moves. “Can you feel this?”

Bucky can’t stop the warm smile blooming on his face. “No, I can’t.” But he wishes he could. Instead of watching the movie, you play with all of the joints on his hand- and Bucky watches you with love and awe. His arm is something Bucky has always been self-conscious about. And here you are, playing with it casually. It means more to him than he can put into words.

—————

Now months have passed, and Bucky has always been by your side. Through all your ups and downs, Bucky has stuck with you no matter what. During this time, Bucky has convinced you to start talking to a therapist. No one in the Tower commented on it, since many of them spoke to therapists as well. Only you, Bucky, and your therapist know what you go through.

That starts to cause problems when Fury walks in with a major assignment. A mission that requires all hands on deck. Unfortunately, your brain has decided this is the perfect time to fuck with you. You tried asking Fury to get you off the mission; telling him that you don’t feel well enough to go. He approves time off for you… For after the mission.

Once you’re all on the quinjet, Bucky picks up on the signs. It doesn’t take him long to notice them anymore.

You’ve basically gone non-verbal. All you can do is knead your hands and try not to cry. You both pull your phones out to text each other for the duration of the flight.

Steve begins to go over the plan. You and Bucky put your phones away, but your hands are still moving. Steve notices this, as well as your lack of eye contact, and decides to call you out for it.

“Y/N, we’re almost to the drop point. You need to focus.”

Your entire body tenses and it’s much harder to breathe. “Sorry, I just don’t feel good.”

This must not be the answer Steve wanted because he frowns, “Are you sick? You should have said something before we took off.”

Bucky looks like he’s about to interject, but Wanda beats him to it.

“Leave her alone, grandpa.”

You and Wanda give each other small smiles; and that’s the end of it.

—————

The fight has officially begun and you’re no better than you were on the plane. You fight sloppy, you get distracted. Even worse, you start moving too far from the rest of the group. You can no longer see them; meaning that they can’t see you either.

People are yelling into their comms, making it too loud in your ear. Without thinking of the consequences, you rip it out of your ear and slide it into your pocket. Another bad guy approaches for you to fight. He’s better than the others were, so he gets in a few good hits before you can take him out. After the encounter, you walk away with a small gash on your arm and a bruise already forming on your cheek.

Steve is on the comms, telling everyone to return to the quinjet because the mission is complete. Everyone answers, except you. Of course, Bucky starts to worry and sends you a text message. He knows you have it set to vibrate when you get text messages, so you’ll see it. And you do, so you make your way back.

You’re the last one to return, although they didn’t have to wait long for you. It doesn’t matter though, because Steve Rogers is furious.

You take your seat without looking at him, and that almost makes it worse.

“Feeling sick is no excuse, Y/N! You were sloppy- you could have gotten yourself killed out there! You never take out your comm link during a mission, how the hell were you expecting to communicate with your team?!”

Barely holding back your tears, your leg starts to bounce uncontrollably. You knead your hands against your thighs and your breath becomes labored. Bucky can’t think of anything except for helping you.

He physically shoves Steve out of his way, rushing to your side and giving his friend a not-so-subtle warning to “Shut up, punk.”

Bucky sits beside you, setting his metal hand in your lap for you to fiddle with. “You don’t have to answer him, okay? Just ignore him, doll.”

The quinjet takes off and he pulls out a pair of earbuds, putting one in his ear and giving you the other. Bucky gives you his phone so you can control the music. It’s quiet and you keep changing the song, but he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

“Remind me when we get back; I have something for you,” Bucky whispers and you nod. You’re unable to speak at this point, clearly feeling the stares of your team aimed at you. It’s uncomfortable.

As soon as they land, Bucky takes you by the hand and leads you to his room. He quickly grabs his gift for you before taking you to your own room. Both of you prefer your space over his, since yours is actually decorated. Bucky hands you a small box wrapped in paper. When you open it, you don’t tear any of the wrapping and carefully remove the tape instead.

Inside is a few fidget toys, including one that looks like a slug. The sections of it linking in a way that makes you think of Bucky’s arm. You love it and start using it immediately.

“I’m gonna go get us some food, doll. I’ll be right back.” All you can do is nod with a tired smile.

Bucky, being the helpful man that he is, sends a quick text to your therapist so she knows what’s happening with you. On his way to the kitchen, he spots everyone in the briefing room. Bucky pretty much storms in.

Fury is the first to speak. “What’s going on with Agent Y/L/N?”

“You-“ Bucky aggressively gestures to Fury, “need to listen when she tells you she can’t go on a mission. Y/N is amazing at her job and wouldn’t ask you to pull her out of a mission unless there was a damn good reason.”

Fury doesn’t like being scolded and immediately shoots back. “All she said was that she didn’t feel good. That’s not a good enough excuse around here.”

Bucky has to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. “She wasn’t talking about her stomach, she was talking about her brain. Her therapist is sending you regular updates for her psychiatric file and you’re not fucking reading them.”

“I assumed it was the regular diagnosis. You know, PTSD, anxiety, paranoia. The side effects from this type of work.” Fury shrugs it off, which only serves to make Bucky angrier.

“Get your head out of your ass and open a goddamn file. Don’t come whining to us because you didn’t do your fucking job. And while you’re at it, how about you try giving a shit about your agents?” Bucky is growling at this point and the other Avengers are worried they’ll need to step in. “You’re lucky she didn’t die on that mission because if she did, I would’ve killed you.”

Bucky hurries to the kitchen, grabbing some basic snacks and a first aid kit. He rushes back to your room so he can clean your wound and get some food in your system.

“Sorry I took so long, doll. Got caught up talking to someone.”

“It’s okay,” Your voice comes out as a whisper. He hands you some of the snacks and you start to eat.

Bucky gestures to your arm, setting the first aid kit down. “Can I clean that up?” You nod and he gets to work.

When he finishes, he sets everything aside. He takes some of the food before asking, “Can I stay?”

“You don’t have to.” You’re still whispering, but Bucky can hear you clearly.

He reaches out to give you his metal hand. “No, I want to. I want to watch that movie you told me about yesterday, but I don’t have a TV in my room.”

You don’t say anything, but Bucky isn’t worried. Taking his metal hand in yours, you tug him gently toward you. He climbs up on the bed, sitting next to you while you wordlessly turn on the movie. You wrap your arm around his flesh one, holding onto it like a pillow as you lean against his side. He moves his metal hand to your thigh, rubbing his thumb over your skin in a comforting manner.

Everything in this moment is pure. You’re trying to get better, and Bucky is supporting you with no complaint. The Avengers will learn in time; and Fury will either learn with them or Bucky will have another talk with him. But that’s for another day. Right now, the two of you only want to hold onto each other- and that’s exactly what you’re going to do. So you sit, watching your movie, snacking on whatever Bucky grabbed, and silently loving each other unconditionally.

—————

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#nel writes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #james barnes #james barnes x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader fanfiction #fluff #hurt comfort

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