#i need 3-4 surgeries

[windandwater]

relieved but also furious medical news: went to an ankle specialist today. after reviewing the MRI and new x-rays he goes yeah your muscles and range of movement are fine (I know) but your pain seems to be localized to where the screws are. if we take them out it should be a simple surgery and we know right away if it helped.

.....

I'm. very happy that someone finally did 2 + 2 and got 4 instead of "walk more." but I'm also livid that it took this long after basically fully healing. what the shit.

I'm also, however, vindicated, because I did not trust my last doctor and when he referred me to an ankle specialist that was too far away, I got a different referral from my GP and went there. that was the right move.

I had to have a minute to breathe to get to a place where I could process that I wasn't improving, that it wasn't my fault, and figure out where my distrust was coming from (hi the last year has been hell) but once I did I knew exactly what to do and that was go elsewhere through avenues I trust to someone I trust. and it worked. I feel for the first time in months like there's a way forward.

#adventures in text posts #after 3-4 years 'walk more' and 'go to PT' need to be banned from your fucking vocabulary #I know it's a surgery done on 7% of patients but at a certain point it becomes occam's extremely obvious razor

[rpfisfine]

teeth hurt

#my dentist told me i need to get 3 out of my 4 wisdom teeth removed bc theyre hopelessly fucked with no future at all #in literally like . early december 2022. and i STILL havent been able to book an appointment w him im gonna end it all #mp #hes had a hip replacement surgery and therefore cannot do surgeries that take a long time . so like. should i just kill myself then #my brother in christ my teeth are actively destroying the teeth around them as we speak

[avatardoggo]

I HAVE FEELINGS FOR A BOYMAN

#sooooooooo BASICALLY i haven’t really been as active as normal bc of school and yk taking 5 courses is not for the weak but i am strong in #Jesus Name AMEN!! so this update might seem a bit random but ya we move. sooo this guy isn’t to be confused with pool table guy from october #that guy is cool and all but we only ever talk about anime and he leaves me on delivered a lot sooo on to the next ig but this guy that i #have developed Feels for issssss hmmm well call him Friendly Giant ™️ (FG) bc he’s like taalll (6’1 ish?) and dark skin and cute and all but #like he looks intimidating but then has the softest deepest voice and it’s all like aaaawwwwww #but basically he’s just this big sweet guy and at first i thought we were just friends and all but then yk you kinda can’t beat the Just #Friends allegations when you ft call a girlie up on CHRISTMAS bc she’s trying to figure out how she’s going to cross the boarder BY HERSELF #bc her siblings are of no help AND THEN when said girlie ft calls you the next day yall stay on the phone for 4(!!!) hours and THEN you offe #r to reach her how to drive and you brought her soup when she got her wisdom teeth surgery and when she bought something using your prime u #said she didn’t need to pay you back and when she insisted said FG GUY SAID AND I QUOTE “LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR ONCE 🤯 #LIKEEEEE #all this while tho i was in fairytale land thinking about how he’s such a great friend and la dee daa bc i didn’t think i was his type and #all that but then i was praying last night and the i was like Holy Spirit do i like this man? and He was like yes and you’re trying to #rationalize your feelings but you like him and he likes you #so nooowwww i’m all like 🙂👍🏾🥳😳😳😳😳😳😳 #YK?????????!!!!!! #but ya that’s the latest update 😚 #i like a guy and he likes me 🥹😶😃👍🏾😳🤯 #mutuals my beloved <3 #vk overshares in the tags

[tearfest]

mini life update in the tags bc i need somewhere 2 rant < 3

#u can ignore but! #in the process of secretly prepping to cut my mum off bc shes got total financial control over me (im 26) #i got a lot of money when i was 18 from an accident n shes basically in control of my assets bc she made it that wah #*way #if that makes sense #like i can only access my money if i go to the bank with her. she lives in a house i boyght her free of charge #sje bullied me into biying another house in wales so she can rent it out as a holidah home n use it as a free holiday spot n said i would #get an income from it but shes given me nothing in the 4/5 yrs weve had it #she put her name on the deeds to all my assets #so i have money but it is inaccessible #i need some bc i need to fund my phd next year but sje wont help me #anyways! thats lowkey besides the point #my dads got a brain tumor n my mum doesnt know i still see my dad bc she thinks i havent spoke to him since je left like 3 yrs ago #but i helped hjm leave bc she was abusing him n had been since i was like 9 #n now im stressed out bc my dads not well and i feel like um running out of time with him #but hes in the hospital at the minute after having a siezure a few weeks after his brain surgery #so ive visited him like 3 days in a row n he remarried this year and my stepmum/sisters are so nice #its like having a real family #and it makes me feel guilty yo say that abt my mum n sister #like the guilt of havi g a bad parent is so real tonight fellas im just gonna sit n cry for a few dags #tbd. #if u read this far i love u .. whats hr zodiac #but yeah! this is why im so inactive #n bc im doi g my masters degree but . that pales in comparison rn

[silenthillbunni]

📖🖊❄️

#journal dump bc i have too much on my mind #1) i HATE my neighbors. theres never one quiet moment. they stomp around and slam cabinets all the time it feels like #2) ​i've been reading more recently even if concentration's hard bc of noise. but i also feel like there r too many books i wanna read #but yeah. too little time. so instead i cant settle on a book and kinda dont even read as much as i want to. a stupid problem really #3) it's crazy to say but i wish i had a part time job. sitting at home 24/7 for 5/6 years has been SO terrible for me. #everything feels meaningless. every day is the exact same. im not LIVING. im rotting away and all my issues get worse. im also so fkn bored #and i dont wanna sit at home and do assignments (even if thats what i technically should be doing) #i want a job to go to which takes me away from home + gives me money #then i can come home and sit and rot and ENJOY it. bc now my lazy time is only smth negative and bad for me :/ #ofc i hate the mere thought of having some soul sucking utterly pointless job and our capitalist society is a slave hellhole. but.. as it is #im not even able to enjoy ANY of my time bc all my time feels bad. plus im only getting poorer and poorer so i cant afford to buy anything #4) im so fkn bored and going crazy from eating the exact same food every single day for the third month now. im sick of it #everything tastes so bland and disgusting. it's genuinely making me depressed 😭 i wanna eat REAL food. im so tired bc no nutrition :(( #i cant do anything except wait for my appt w the doctor next week and hope they put me on a waiting list for surgery.. but ong im sick of it #5) i miss my sisters :/ we live in the same apartment but its like i've completely ceased to exist to them #except when they need to be passive aggressive to me. lol. i miss them. but they just dont wanna talk to me :/ #but tbh. most of all... i just want my health issue to be over so my body can function normally again. #i can face anything in life if i can come home to a cup of coffee nd some chocolate ^-^ <333

[godofsmallthings]

what you guys don't understand is that for a period of almost three months i would go to class every day and just refresh my pinterest to look at things to crochet and pics of katya to thirst over and that was my entire personality

#the katya vibration has calmed down significantly (i think probably bc post-wisdom teeth surgery i spent like 6hrs a day watching t&k #content for like 3-4 days straight) #and now she has just joined the arsenal of the besties #but holy hell when something grabs a hold of me it is crazy #they need to study my brain in a lab like what is going on in there #vi is typing...

[vinceaddams]

I sure do love to go to the thrift store and acquire things!! Today I got a broken (?) little wooden music box, a couple pieces of fabric (one dark pink cotton jacquard and one dark brown and gold sari silk) and also a plate with a picture of the Hartland covered bridge on it. That's the longest covered bridge in the world, and I've walked across it, and now I can eat sandwiches off it's monochromatic blue image.

#hi yeah yes i AM slightly tipsy at the moment sorry! #OH i also got 4 little packs of gold plated sewing needles!! and another plate that has Green Gables on it #but that;s in a different province from me so marginally less exciting even though I do love the 1980's anne of green gables series #just had another hecking busy week at work (because it is prom & wedding season and I am Suit Alterations Tailor #but now it is weekend and I have 2 days of no things #yay!! Maybe I will work a bit more on my shirt and some drawing! #I wish I had more space to put things. if I did I would go to the thrift store even more often and obtain even more delightful candlesticks #and also more silver plated goblets. I'd have a whole corridor of shelves with all my fancy little metal thrift store goblets #thrifting #hey did you nkow that all aclohol tastes bad and yucky and you can only hide it in lots of fruit juice and stuff??? #this is a fact I know but learn all over again every frew several months #blergh! #speking of which! fun fact: I am a balding old man of 27 and when I got to the beverage store with a hat I get asked for ID usually #but never when I have no hat! #today I had a leafkerchief on my head which I have been wearing a lot lately for balding head reasons and also cause #of those dang sebaceous cysts upion my scalp that are so lumpy and numerous (4) and unsighlty #unSIGHTLy I mean #UGH the surgery people said I'd hear back about an appointment in a month and it's been almost 3! I should phone them!! #It is unfair to have lumps almost as big as marbles just chilling there on a balding scalp!! #SPeaking of leafkerchiefs I Realy need to finish that damn sewing tutorial video! I filmed most of it last autumn! #and now it's late spring! #is there a limit to how many tags you can put on a post?? #ok well I hope these have ebeen entertaining to you I will go eat a food and maybe do soem sketching now goodnight

[the-unicorn-system]

genuinely considering stopping playing splatoon alltogether because the devs need to fix so much shit plus its just. not fun anymore. I play a weekend every month at most and thats about it.

but the literally reason i go by the name woomy is BECAUSE of these games, because they had such an impact on me during the Wii U days. every splatfest I say "if nothing changes for the better, ill stop playing" "if frye doesnt win ill stop playing" but i never do, and i think thats why

warning for really big rant in the tags

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatfest #rant #i love this series so so much but not what its turned into #our recent lack of appreciation for this series may also have to do with a trauma event that started around when we got our- #-first surgery last year im genuinely not sure #i think we just need to figure out our feelings and go from there #all i can say is ig it wasnt another shiver win but the support for splat3 is gonna be gone in what? september? #nintendo said it was only gonna be 2 years so unless they change their mind then in a little over a year of this game existing- #frye won 2 splatfests one global and one only in japan #compared to shivers 8 and big mans 4 (i know its not a wide margin but still) its just really sad #i adore deep cut so much but adding 3 idols made everything really uneven #woomy post

[ashmp3]

Also i shouldn’t be calling anyone brittle bones i have fucked up meniscus i am just playing with you guys…

#this is prime teo lore but yeah i don’t need surgery yet though. Also osteoporosis gang. But that’s none of my business #when my physical therapist told me i was supposed to be 3-4 #centimeters taller but my knees got fucked up see i was born to be 175cm but alas. I have chronic pain in my bones 😁 #tt

[monster-noises]

I have valentines day off i've discovered and idk if that'll be a curse or a blessing...

(_=<=)_

#monster noises #i Do have a very important errand i need to run that day which will helP #but i can't decide if it's better to have the day open to just #melt into a sad lonely couch gremlin in the privacy of my own home #or if i would prefer to go to work and have to like.. have my Retail Personality on but also have Stuff To Do #to distract me from the yawning void of lonliness with which i am faced #it's been a boon I Guess the last 3-4 years i've had Other Shit Happening to keep me from thinking about this too much fjdnkgms #weather it's surgery recovery or Loosing My Job or just Living Where I Was Living #but now things are.. ehhhh Leveling Out(ish) and #Oof

[themechaneer]

🔧

#‟ i am but a sensitive pillar of salt ” || ooc #;—-; so I had plans to start moving Joel to his new blog (yes that’s the decision I’ve made and a thing that’s happening) #but instead my coworker who just got back from vacation last week has left again due to her eldest daughter needing emergency surgery #I’m not mad about that it is what it is and that’s life but #i did just find out aside from doing 4 day shifts till she gets back (not sure when) the coverage we have can only do #shifts with the girlie I work with after 3pm mon & tues since she has another shift both those days from 7-3 #so I’ll be working 4 24h shifts and then 8 hour shifts on 2 of the days I’m meant to have off 🥲 #luckily I’ll have some time off once coworker returns but #if I’m quieter than normal it’s cause I am recovering ; ; and a shell of a human being #on the bright side it’s gorgeous today and I’ll be making more than enough to cover my time off even if I didn’t have pto #love you all 💕 hope you’re having a good timezone sugar plums 💚💚💚

[kurp-stuff]

.

#it's so fucking tiring that NO picrew that i try no matter how diverse has a nose that looks like mine #(slightly crooked /roman nose idk what it's called in english without being derogatory) #and they rarely have eyebrows like mine that are thicker on the outside #but yeah the nose thing is UUUUGH #it's already enough that everytime i search for this kind of nose on the internet no matter which words i use to describe it; all I get is #before/after surgery pics 🙃🙃 #now there's even ads for nose surgery on instagram...................which i signaled cause pettiness #anyway .the worse part is when there are like 15 choices for noses and they all are variations of pretty much the same 3 noses. #or when there is one hooked nose ...it's not very well drawn compared to the others #or it's not well placed on the face but they won't let you move it #i mean it's not that important. i dont think a lot of people manage to make picrew that LOOKS like them for real. #i was just getting angry on a pricrew i just tried that had like 15 noses and not one hooked except maybe one but it's so slight i cant #tell if it's on purpose or not #i also did one yesterday which was VERY diverse in terms of skin colors; disabilities; scars; etc it even had diff animal ears #horns #wings #BUT A HOOKED NOSE ????????? EWW NOOOO why would it need that #and yes it is 3/4 view one. #it had one nose that was probably what the author thinks as a hooked nose but honestly it's just a straight nose where they drew the bridge #i dont even look special #or anything #I exaggerate a bit #i actually manage sometimes to do somthg that looks like me ish. like that has my energy #but it would be nice to have more hooked noses you know :3333

[nosygay]

the way people from uni don't recognize me just like in uni people from high school didn't recognize me just like in high school people from middle school didn't recognize me just like in middle school people from elementary didn't recognize me

#was i changing my appearance a lot or was i very forgettable? #both! <3 #ok i wasnt as forgettable in high school but my appearance has changed 180 degrees im actually impressed #body shape check #hair lenght dramatically change check #hair color check #tattoo check #piercings check #fashion sense check (thats a shame tho) #now all i need to complete the vibe is plastic surgery #probably nose #i think that makes the biggest difference #is it bwcause its in the middle of your face? #actually you lnow whats the annoying part. i recognize everyone #i recognize people i met at a party once 4 years ago as long as i personally spoke to them at that party for 5 minutes #and i have to pretend i dont #bc why xo i remember them. no idea #watch me have wildldy good memory for that but terrible memory for events in my life generally #literally why

[louhearted]

not so ironically considering deferring my master to next year. like i really really do not want to and deep down i know i’ll regret it but also i cannot for the life of me concentrate on anything and my one prof keeps mentioning the option to defer at the end of every email and like. stop dangling it in front of my face. i can DO THIS. i can. I CAN.

#my thoughts #i don't even know the specifics of deferring or how that would work #and if i have to pay more student fees then #and also how my scholarship would fit into that #because i literally cannot afford to stay in cork longer. rent is WAY too high. #and just. i hate it all. #and i can't fully freak out about any of it #because everyone in my family is currently going THRU it #so like.... no one wants to bother anyone #which is soooo obvious. #but what the fuck are we supposed to DO #within 3 weeks we got the following 3 news #my grandma has breast cancer my mum has jaw surgery in 4 days because they discovered a growth #that they cannot pinpoint #and then theres me. with a fucking lump in my breast that needs to be removed before it turns malignant #because fun fact. when this type of lump turns bad it cannot be treated endocrinally anymore or with chemo OR with radiation #so out it go it must #and like i know how lucky i am that it is still benign for now #and that it was caught early and blablabla #but god. honestly. no idea how to handle any of it.

[silenthillbunni]

🚬🧸🧃🎀

#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance #so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life #and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future #so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D #what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk) #i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it #i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months #then i'll start my other 4 classes in january #i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery) #(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..) #also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt #if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may #if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless #i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university???? #i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education #bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it #also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move #i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!! #but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try #i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?

[twowivestwoknives]

well i made it to the medical appointment, got all the way to the procedure room, had a panic attack and couldnt go thru with it

#i can FEEL needles inside me #instant overstim panic attack overwhelm #and the procedure is 5min of 3 diff needles In My Shoulder #and i just couldnt keep it together #but if i dont do this we dont know if i need surgery #i feel like such a fucking pussy #idk why i feel so bad #i keep fighting hard to get my body taken care of #and this is a Part of That #but i just cant fucking do it #ffs i wanna die (not for serious just) #i have so much run off panic #im going home and eating leftovers and playing sims and going to bed early #and only wesring soft things #i feel like such a fucking child #im 27 and scared of /needles/ ??? #i broke my foot and didnt notice but NEEDLES #i hhave chronic pain at a 4-7 daily but NEEDLES #i find cuts and bruises cathartic but NEEDLES #who the fuck am i why am i lile this #life and times #medical t #needles t