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#i miss you all so fucking much
shmitty · 5 days ago
Midnight drive
Is it all for nothing
Is it all in vain
Are you here with me ?
Driving down midnight streets
Can you see the pain and desperation in my expression ?
Can you hear the screams that come from my cracked voice ?
Can feel my trembling hands?
Do you at least try wipe the choked up tears from my eyes?
I can almost see it in my head Mark in the back seat looking out the window
Mama glorie sitting in the middle
My dad sitting behind me leans up just enough to put his hand on my shoulder
And I glance to the side to see Jessica perched up in my passenger seat knees to her chest leans her head to the side smiles at me wipes the tear off my cheek
Leans in close and whispers "you know it's ok "
But it's not
I leave my mind
And I'm in by myself
And I feel so alone
Or am I
-love addict -
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oklahomos · 5 years ago
Moving here was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss my fiends and Nick and seeing them whenever I want. I want last year back. I want to go home.
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tara-corinne · 8 years ago
the info explains everything.
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silenthill2themeoflaura · a minute ago
anyway go read tempest 1996 they killed his girlfriend stupid as fuckly in crisis on infinite earths and then wouldnt let him move on with his life properly until that sexy sexy tempest miniseries 10 years later and that's basically all you need to know.
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wujuhour · 11 hours ago
me: besides the obvious, why does it grind my gears so much that “naruto” characters choose to value a higher authority’s orders over the mental/emotional/physical well-being of their loved ones?
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me: oh yeah, that’s why lmao
#i've said before that i'm so used to it being the other way around#but why i didn't specifically think about ignis and ffxv already is beyond me#given how much i love ignoct + ignis for being so sexy and defiant like this#although ffxv isn't perfect#because i'm pretty sure in the original game noctis dies and no one put up a fight#but in ''episode ignis'' the mistakes were corrected#because ignis definitely wouldn't have let noctis take the fall for all of humanity#i know it's selfish; this probably like ''the last of us'' all over again#but people can matter to you that much!#screw what you're ''supposed to do'' because some dude with power over you told you to#(or because it was fated to be so just let the prophecy unfold)#it's not going to matter if your bonds with a person are stronger and that's what missing from ''naruto''#even though it's preached that you should value your comrades over the state#but there's never any of that and those who do pursue that path get villainized for it#and those who don't get excused by the narrative (or even glorified...)#it'd be better if ''naruto'' was more self-aware about this and was doing it in a way where it pokes at how messed up it is but it doesn't#this also makes me want to apologize for judging usagi in the ''sailor moon s'' for her refusal to sacrifice hotaru#text#EDIT: here's even more context that ignis was raised to be obedient! he was supposed to serve the royal crown and do what he was supposed to#but he said ''fuck that'' because noctis mattered more to him as a person#and he's so galaxy brained for it#or he's just acting like a human being probably would
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dragqueendean · a day ago
do NOT look directly at me while i become old and sappy like a fucked up tree. haha get it my name is spruce. anyway.
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redportrait · 2 days ago
#like its not that i miss my dad#he was fucking horrible#however. sometimes when im playing guitar i feel like hes standing next to me and all i have to do is look over#and ask about technique or something and he'd answer#the thing is that i dont WANT him to answer#i never want to see or hear from him again#but also he was a constant in my childhood in the way that no-one else was#like. he was always there. until he wasn't#and i feel the loss keenly#i dont know. he keeps trying to contact me#idk how to say 'hey you spent my whole childhood raping me and beating me' without actually saying it#bc if i did say it he'd just deny it of course#but i feel the shadow of him over me constantly#its really horrible.#in retrospect he was pretty much the only male role model in my life ever#which explains why i am so terrible at being a man#i just avoid almost everything he ever did and call it a day#but like#in a better world. he taught me to shave and how to drive#and how to drink without getting too drunk#and how to ask people out on a date#in reality he taught me nothing except how to bear pain silently#and how to recognise when im being used. but not how to get away from it#idk.!#it would be easier if i was a girl bc my mom had some vague things to teach#which i learnt ofc. but now.#im a guy who knows how to cook for 4 people and mend clothes and reassure people that im fine#i have lots of Girl Skills (i am using this ironically bc i dont know what to call it when im drunk)#and no Guy Skills#its not a huge problem generally i guess except for how much i hate myself
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rowanberry-marmalade · 2 days ago
i am. so worried about my best friend
#his parents sent him away to some fucking Nature Therapy bullshit#meaning that they came up to him one morning and said 'hey so tomorrow you're dropping out of school and leaving your city and your friends#and your classmates and your teachers and going away for 11 weeks to nature therapy without a cell phone and we don't know if you can even#write letters but we've been talking about this for a year and we're only telling you now and you leave tomorrow lol have fun with telling#all your friends and saying your goodbyes as well as processing all of this in the one day we've given you'#so yeah he was supposed to be back by now#and he is Not#and his mom says 'it's a long story but he's not coming back for a while' like what the fuck does that mean??? how long is a while???????#and i tried to text him and it didn't go through? and i tried to call him and his account is like. disconnected or some shit?#so i just. can't reach him. at all.#and i haven't heard anything since his one letter that said he wasn't doing great (that i couldn't even respond to)#and of course my mind is jumping to the worst possible things and i am so worried#his mom and my mom are supposed to talk tonight and my mom has reached out but hasn't heard anything and i am terrified that something bad#has happened or that he's done something stupid that i don't want to type out cause i don't feel like crying tonight thank you very much#i've missed him so much and i just want him to be safe i just want to see him again i'm so worried that he's hurt#right before college!!! he was supposed to go to college and they fucking sent him away a semester before he was supposed to graduate!!!!!!#so now he can't fucking GO because he has to figure out a way to make up a semester of school and they're forcing him into a gap year#which he never wanted to take in the first place#i just really fucking miss him he's such a wonderful person and i have no idea if he's even. okay. or like. alive.#please like or comment or tell me if you read this#<- not knowing who's read my more personal/serious/emotional posts makes me very anxious and i'd like to avoid that
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mulleteikichi · 4 days ago
mm. feelings.
#anyways so my dog is dying and yeah it;s normal to be sad and cry and shit#especially over a pet you've had for like 7 years#but god. i genuinely just can't handle this right now#i can't even like properly feel bad because i'm always too tired or just. don't have the capacity to feel strong emotions about shit#like i can't fully process this? i was just crying for a good 15+ minutes laying next to him on the floor#and after that i just. feel normal#not like good normal like 'i just cried and got it all out' i mean#normal like i'm USED to this level of grief or whatever#this just is a whoooole fuckin mess and i can't even like. do anything to help myself because i know everyone who could even comfort me#is too busy being asleep because Timezones but still#i just know that when i get up after passing out tomorrow i'll be unable to talk like this until The Next Tragic Event#so i'll do this for now and then well#if anyone sees this hi i guess#but god it's. i don't even have the energy to grieve or hate myself for not being able to grieve#i'm just gonna go and add this to the list of issues i have and i hate that because i need to be able to address my own fucking emotions#and yet here i am writing a vent post on tumblr that like two people at most will see#i just miss. being able to feel y'know? like genuinely feel many complicated things#like yeah i hate myself and detest myself but like. in a chill way because i can't fucking even HATE myself right this sucks dick#and by 'right' i just mean like hate myself with energy it's literally just 'huh you're a freak who everyone is going to hate if they learn#more about you' or 'you can't be genuinely nice to anyone because you have to put so much effort into everything' or just. etc etc my point#has been made#i just wish i could like. FEEL feel y'know. everything is just at most miserable or at normal. just. real bad#anyways everything is criiiinge#vent
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princebensxlo · 7 days ago
I still want to believe, that there’s a world out there... That we know nothing about
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yeosanggf · 7 days ago
#I FORGOT I HAD A TUMBLR WHERE I CAN RANT ABOUT THINGS AND MAYBE SOMEONE WILL SEE AND GIVE ME MUCH NEEDED LOVE BUT MAYBE NOT#up to you :) pls i need love ahaha :) but it’s okay if not i’m not being needy not at all#dude#i hate it here#ya boy has anxiety depression and REALLY BAD adhd or add or smth i don’t remember which one bc this is a new development!#and it’s kiCKING. MY ASS.#i have NO memory (ranboo moment) and literally barely even know my name ::))))))) let alone do i remember all my missing assignments!!!#i have a D. in ENGLISH.#H O W#I HAVE GOTTEN ONLY As ON ASSIGNMENTS#THATS HOW MANY MISSING ASSINGMENTS I HAVE#this is SO unlike me i seriously wanna commit unalive and am reverting back into junior year SUPER DEPRESSED me :)#and i can’t stop being so fucking annoying the way i’m typing is pissing me off like shut the fuck up jesus christ#jesus came back this weekend or smth#that’s crazy#but yeah#teachers are all up my ass and i don’t know how long i can keep up the perfect student act bc clearly fake it till you make it isn’t working#this year. someone please say i love you to me i’ve never before understood why people need to hear it out loud but today i need it so bad#debating donating to a streamer for the first time just to get someone to say i love you to me#like. i’m desperate. i hate myself so much rn#and i’m self aware too like what kinda bs is that when you hate yourself and could very well fix it but nooo for some reason brain said sad#and so much anxiety#my leg was shaking while driving ya boy hard braked so many times it was so scary#luckily i didn’t do it on the gas#but yeah i’m killing myself with this workload bro#what’s that one tommy quote?#like. i want to spill coke on my keyboard and have it fry up and kill me. i want to jump off the cadillac and into a fucking volcano.#the mood for today#210406
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admdmrtn · 8 days ago
i will never forgive pb for making jonas a non-li
#did i log in just to post that? yes#am i replaying distant shores? yes#on the other hand i’m kinda enjoying slow burn so far#yvette is my queen brick chef i love her#also foreign affairs is coming to an end soon#already missing tatum mendoza holy shit#you best bet i chose him to make a fake sex tape with lol#as much as i know making him jealous by choosing blaine instead would be delicious#i just couldn’t pass the opportunity#you know what other shameful things i’ve been playing these days?#litg season 3 boat party 😔 ye i know....#it’s surprisingly not bad lmao#the mistake was restarting season 3 and now i’m boread as fuck all over again#but boat party is a pleasant surprise i actually didn’t mind it#also played the latest update of mindblind!!#was a short update but a good one no less#can’t wait to see more kent zarneki hehe#what else have i been going on about?#i’m really struggling through a very scandalous proposal idk if i’ll continue that lol but i get bugged if i see unfinished books#so :/ idk we’ll see#oh and and i heard kodan is finally out!!#gonna download that soon and play it again#gon see my man yakov hehehehehehhehe#but well the thing about kotsam is that i don’t have a fixed mc so :/ i should probably figure one out maybe#okay what else#this is a whole rant lol i generally dive into many things all at once if my head is in a messy place#so as you can probably tell i’m playing/replaying a lot of things rn#i’ve been brainstorming some ideas for edith the past few days too#since im slowly... slowly backing away from twc and ub i kinda want to create a divergent path for her#create my own canon if you will - just for the fun of it since mishka’s taking a while to get the next book up
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