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keyotos · 9 months

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loved you every single day

summary ⎯ what is love for the xianzhou guys? that's basically it. very sappy and tender and sentimental.

includes ⎯ dan heng, blade, jing yuan

tana's words ⎯ hi...

dan heng

⎯ dan heng had a vague understanding of what love felt like. before the astral express, he never really knew what love really felt like due to memory loss. but he learned, eventually.

⎯ he found love when himiko always offered to make another coffee cup for him (this time, with the blend he enjoys). he found love whenever march/stelle would check on him during the late hours of the night, knowing he'd be buried in books. he found love whenever welt offered to shoulder the burdens of keeping watch during trailblazing missions.

⎯ but he has never felt love like this before. not with you anyway.

⎯ there was a sense of loyalty he had for you. of course, he was obviously also loyal to the crew, but it was different with you.

⎯ you made him want to follow you towards the end of the universe. you made him want to run with you into the light or whatever awaits the both of you later on. he was willing to do all of it.

⎯ why? a lame question to ask, he thinks. there are hundreds of reasons why, and he could list them easily. was your smile and the way it instantly warmed an entire room enough reason? or should he add onto the fact that you were practically made of stardust and cosmic radiance? that you have some kind of miraculous or even transcendental ability to string words so brilliantly that it manages to calm the harshest of voices down?

⎯ and love was scary for dan heng, at first. there were too many hindrances and difficulties in his life. for one, he could not let you get caught up in his past. he wouldn't: he would make sure of it. for two, he wasn't very used to love.

⎯ yeah, there was the express crew. but there was also you. dan heng thought that he would spend the rest of his life alone. he still has not settled into his room on the express because he reasoned that he'd stay until the archives until he was ready to leave. but you challenged all of that.

⎯ how is it that one person could make him want to stay by their side forever? how is it that you have such an enormous effect on him, yet you aren't even aware of it? every wall or barrier he's put up, you've always managed to erode it down. you allowed him to be vulnerable and you allowed him to be carefree. you allowed him to relax. to breathe.

⎯ loving you, was to breathe, for dan heng. you were the gasp of air that he needed while he was drowning beneath the waters. finally being able to decompress and unwind; he felt lighter around you. less stressed, less worried. less stoic. less somber.

⎯ he has never even thought of love like that before he had met you. but you changed him. and he is eternally grateful for that. eternally grateful for you. you are his home, his safe space, his sanctuary of security.

⎯ so he repays you often. he knows what kind of tea you drink and how to make it by heart. he makes a cup for you every morning. you have your own shelf in his archive. hell, you have your own damn space in there as well. there's an indent of you in every corner of every room.

⎯ or maybe, dan heng is so accustomed to you that he sees you in everything.

⎯ he lets you read from his shoulder. he has a shelf filled with all your favorite books from various worlds in his archives. he lets you sleep on his body rather than the flacid mattress on the ground, because he wants to keep you as comfortable as you've kept him. his fingers trace your body every night you stay with him, to ensure that you are safe and you are here, and he is home.

"are you sure you're comfortable like this?" you ask, situated on top of dan heng's body. you're partly afraid that you'll crush him with your entire body weight on him, and that his back would hurt after tonight, "wouldn't it just be smarter to crash in my room instead?"

his chest rises and falls underneath you, getting slower and slower as time goes by, "if you'd like. we can go."

you bite the inside of your lip in thought. it would be safer to do so, for both your and dan heng's safety. but, to be honest, you were very comfortable and tired. "is your back gonna be okay after this?"

"it'll be fine," he brushes off, "besides, you've been sleeping on me for the past few nights now. i can handle one more night."

"huh???"

blade (contains lore spoilers)

⎯ love was something blade has always lived without. as a child, with war and battles as a constant on his homeworld, there wasn't any room for affection or anything similar.

⎯ but then you came along, practically shaking his entire world. there you were, dragging him off to drink god awful mung bean soda. to force him to go outside on days where he was over-occupied with work. to let him enjoy something for once in a while. to let him rub his thumb over yours in the quiet hours of the night, forgetting about work and all other duties.

⎯ he had never thought that loving could be so easy until he met you. it seemed as though time would stop in his tracks whenever he saw you. blade thought it was a myth coming from romance novels (one he had heard from you, ironically enough), but it proved to be, in fact, real.

⎯ and everything was easy. up until everything wasn't. it was one thing, then the other. baiheng passed, jingliu was extremely distraught. it was wearying to see everything go so downhill, so fast. nobody was ever the same after that period.

⎯ yet even after all that, you still had the same look in your eye. you looked at blade the same way you looked at him all those years ago. so much has changed between the both of you, and you know that the both of you would never be able to return to the past.

⎯ though, even after all of that, some things remained the same. for example, the way you never failed to take his breath away. seeing you for the first time in years had him going through a plethora of feelings: distraught, appalled, and slightly less dejected.

⎯ but most importantly, there were still parts of the other's heart still beating for each other. even if you couldn't love him anymore, you still cared about him. you cared about him the same way you did all those years ago.

⎯ you went out of your way to find him. you went out of your way to offer him solace, even if it was for one last time. why? he didn't want to know, he didn't want to ask. he has a mission: he has to pursue it, always. nevertheless, he still found himself underneath the sun's rays, as it managed to follow him wherever, saying, "i'm here. even if you don't see me sometimes, i am still here."

⎯ and if you still cared... well, there was still hope, right?

he's leaning over a rail, looking over the xianzhou skies and the starskiffs racing by. he hasn't been back in ages. it feels... strange; it feels as if he's experiencing his first day all over again.

blade is so fascinated by the sight that he fails to hear your footsteps come closer, now reaching his side. he only hears you after you clear your throat. he's startled, for obvious reasons: but, when he sees you hold up a mung bean soda in surrender, he's surprised at how fast the panic dies down.

"aren't you going to arrest me?" he took a step back from you. you didn't move, but instead held out the drink.

"i could," you dragged out, checking your watch, "but... i'm not on duty," the corners of your lips turn up ever so slightly, like you were happy at the fact that you were having a drink with a criminal. you pull open the tab and take a sip, then offer it towards him.

he blankly stares at your hand. remembers the feeling of it in his. now, his mind is skewed. maybe even grotesque if he wanted to sound dreadful about it. but there are few happy memories he can recall, as well as the feelings during them, and it seems like you are recreating one of them currently. and oddly enough, there are no feelings of bitterness that follow him this time.

he takes and drinks the mung bean soda, and to his surprise, it’s not as bad as it was many years ago. maybe it was because your lips were on it, or maybe it’s because the once atrocious drink did get better. and when he looks up and is greeted by your curious face, he hopes that love is like that as well.

jing yuan

⎯ years ago, if you had asked jing yuan what love was, he'd say something benign: love is indescribable. a simple answer for a simple man in love. but oh, has time took its toll.

⎯ it isn't to say that love isn't indescribable. on some days, he finds it worrying that he may love you too much⎯that his willingness to give you the world was a bit concerning at times. others point it out, but jing yuan chooses to be blindsided. but he is always aware.

⎯ aware. jing yuan is nothing short of perceptive. he has been around for centuries. he has been there for wars, for battles, for decrees. and it sticks with him: forever. he does not simply forget, yet he is forced to stay in one place forever. immorality may be a blessing for others, but a curse for xianzhou natives.

⎯ he does not give himself a moment to fully relax. even if it seems that way a lot (the dozing general needs his power naps), he is always back to his duties.

⎯ however, it's different with you. with you, he has no burdens to shoulder. he has no secrets to keep from you. there is no wall of tension blocking between you. with you, everything is for grabs. his feelings, his emotions, his heart.

⎯ vulnerability. many look down at the vulnerable. and in jing yuan's line of work, the cost of vulnerability comes with a substantial price. his guard has to be up at all costs, because if not, there would be another catastrophe. his act as a lazy general is just a rouse, because there is so much that's weighing on him inside.

⎯ in a city that flies, jing yuan feels rooted by the weight of the luofu.

⎯ so imagine the amount of unconcern he feels when he's around you. the feeling of rocks suffocating him has subsided, and you are here to remove them. and one by one, he begins to feel lighter and lighter as you hull them off.

⎯ and you don't get tired. you're still here. you keep picking off the rocks, even the smallest ones. you relentlessly continue until everything is gone, and the only things left are just you and him.

⎯ by now, he understands what love is. it's when he knows how your fingers have ran through every crevice of his brain, every knot in his stomach, every knot in his soul. it's understanding. it's being able to shoulder the weight of the world with another. it's someone staying to help you get the rocks off of your body.

⎯ love is being met with soft touches instead of daggers. love is being met with mhms and reallys while retelling a story from this morning. love is being able to speak about the past, the truth of it all, and allowing the light to peek through instead of the darkness. that is what love is.

"and then, get this, i found him in the midst of a fight with blade," jing yuan throws his head on your shoulder exasperatedly, disregarding the fact that you were halfway through your novel.

"well, he was doing his job," you counter, looking back towards your lover.

"i know," he slides a hand across his face, "it's just tiring. and i don't want him to get hurt." like others, is the unspoken phrase here. it's on the tip of his tongue, you know it.

you place a bookmark in your book before shutting it. you finally turn your full attention towards jing yuan, "he's strong. you trained him."

"but," he sighs, "what if it's not enough?"

you decide the mood is a little too melancholic, so you decide to lighten the mood a little bit, "then i'll take over as general of the luofu," you grinned. jing yuan smiled as well: your smile was infectious, how could he not?

you ran a hand through his hair, "you are good enough. i hope you know that. you won't fail yanqing. he's tough and stubborn... he sadly gets that from you."

jing yuan chuckles, a real chuckle, and pulls you closer to him as you grab your book once again. he presses a chaste kiss to your temple as he reads along to the same words on a page as you.

yes, things will be okay, he thinks.

hi y'all! i have been sooo busy w sm stuff lately, like i've been preparing for college and i've been going to the gym and i've been doing sm. updates have been scarce except like the 3 alhaitham posts (i couldn't resist). but hopefully during these last few weeks of summer i can get my grind back on!!!

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #blade x reader #blade x you #hsr blade #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #im back from the dead #ive had sm stuff to do like i had the college talk td and man o man o man #tbh some of my metaphors DID NOT make sense. i wrote this at 3 am like all my other fics #missing when i used to pump out hcs before 12 am 🙁🙁🙁#honestly blade's is a little short but i'm still trying to figure out his character so i promise u blade lovers i will feed u soon hehe

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thefrogdalorian · 5 months

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Din Djarin + Chapter 15: The Believer

#din djarin #din edits #my gifs #pedro pascal #star wars gifs #HAPPY THIRD ANNIVERSARY THE BELIEVER THE EPISODE THAT CHANGED MY LIFEEEEEE #and when i say changed my life i mean rotted my brain and made a fictional man who will never love me the benchmark #anyway #i miss him #din please come home the kids miss you #and when i say the kids i mean me and when i say miss i mean lie awake every night yearning #doing well

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always-a-joyful-note · 7 months

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Enstars sure is an experience. Did I miss anything?

#are you guys all okay? i definitely am not okay #this is not the type of media that i usually go for yet it is EXACTLY the type of media that i would like #so many gaps so many stories WAY TOO MUCH READING I DONT HAVE THE TIME #i know i missed a lot because ive only watched the anime and read the main music story up to ch 4 of the second part #and i have read some events stories that were free #and maybe one or two outside from translations #but like thats it #this is like reading orv and getting hit with its deep metas on human life and the importance of stories #but instead im being clobbered by the most deranged storylines known to man (and again. i read ORV and am a bsd fan)#this isnt fantasy but there is nothing realistic about enstars and i unfortunately am attached #every day i spiral into east asian media that gives me an aneurysm #bsd -> orv -> link click -> enstars....i wanna say they keep getting more unhinged but theyre all unhinged in different ways #anyway please help me....#enstars #ensemble stars #fandom spamdom #stuff i say #i will admit i am mostly into the game for the stories #a consistent gamer i am not #but to unlock the stories ill push back the animes i have to catch up on etc etc #again. please help me....#edit: updated to remove queerbaiting because apparently i dont know whats going on

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mizunoir · 9 months

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stargazing ⭐

happy [late] laven week!

#dgm #laven #lavenweek2023 #lavi #allen walker #lavi bookman #d. gray man #I really promised myself I will do at least one artwork for laven week this year #i hope everyone is doing well in the laven fam #wanted to do the happy artwork but i'm not really in a happy place lately #anyways it was supposed to be ready for day 4: night + stars but alas #i am just glad i managed to do anything even though i missed all of the possible deadlines ;;#mizunoir

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pissfaggit · 15 days

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Remember when Dukat was like Damar I need you to go convince my daughter I'm a good dad and tastefully get her to like me again and Damar was like uhhh I feel like I would be of most use doing something else anything else for you perhaps helping you with military strategies and Dukat goes I wasn't fucking asking you Damar that was an order now go talk to her so Damar goes and tries to strong arm Ziyal back into complacency but unfortunately for him Kira is there and she beats his ass unconscious and when he wakes up he goes back to Dukat to cry and ask for permission to arrest her and Dukat's like MY DAUGHTER DAMAR. What did you say to her DOES SHE LIKE ME AGAIN. and Weyoun is in the corner eavesdropping on them like 👁️👄👁️

#miss that shit lol #deep space nine #star trek #ds9 #ds9 dumar #ds9 dukat #sorry can't be fucked to tag the rest #sir i protest i am not a merry man

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snotbuggle · 1 month

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Echo left because he knew that Omega would make him get therapy too and now that she’s back from prison he can’t say “no” anymore.

#I miss him #I want my man back #at least less screen time keeps him away from Jennifer’s shotgun of doom tho #the bad batch #tbb echo #star wars #tbb omega #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb s3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch season 3 spoilers

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shikai-the-storyteller · 3 months

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I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

#i talk #QSMP talk #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #I FOUND IT #I wrote this post TWO MONTHS AGO #MAYBE LONGER!!!#I had clips and links prepared but I have no idea where those went #I'm not gonna bother saving this as a draft and risk losing it again #I have nearly 70000 drafts on my main blog but by some miracle this got saved in my art blogs' drafts instead #than the stars #Anyways. Leo was killed by a whale a few days later because Foolish was in the bathroom lmao #''powerful god-adjacent man who bends the laws of the universe'' vs. ''man whose entire life is a series of sitcom episodes''#I still really want to write out that ''QSMP genre'' thought I had ages ago. It's still relevant and always will be relevant #but anyways #I wrote this months ago on very little sleep but DANG. It's a banger.#I miss writing analysis stuff I wish I was in a headspace where I could do this more like I used to #QSMP analysis

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hiimawarish · 8 months

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worship this love

s. a lazy morning with jing yuan after phantylia's fight. cw. female/afab reader. fluff. slight angst. tons of comfort. . jing yuan is a dedicated husband. pet names. tw. not proofread. suggestive (but nothing explicit). mention of scars. wc. 0.7k a/n. i was complaining about my writer's block and then this happened. i'm so down bad for this man it's not even funny. anyways, enjoy. credits. dividers by @/cafekitsune.

“Darling mine.”

The sudden rumbling of his voice startles you, and then you feel the vibrations of his laughter, deep from within his chest. The moment you turn to look at him, you find the molten golden eyes you love so much staring back at you—half-lidded, still mostly asleep, yet focused only on you. The lazy smile dancing on his lips almost succeeds in turning you into putty, but you remain focused… or as focused as you can be, anyway.

Your fingers trace again the soft, pink skin of the scar across his chest. It’s the new one, the one that had been hidden from your eyes for weeks under the bandages that Lady Bailu constantly checked. Bandages that he would not allow you to touch, no matter how many times you insisted. Eyebrows furrowed, you cannot help but think back to that moment… To Fu Xuan calling for you, telling you it was an emergency, the clear panic in her voice. Some of that fear has not vanished just yet, and maybe that is why you’re observing the offending wound on his chest with so much intensity.

“Darling mine,” Jing Yuan calls you again. This time he stretches his arms, his heavy hand falling on the small of your back, the callouses on his fingers tickling you softly. The warmth from his touch comforts you, and yet you do not look up again. You can’t. You know what he will say, and you are in no mood to listen. “Look at me?”

“No.”

You press your lips together into a thin line, your frown deeper, and your fingers finally stop stroking the scar. You know what he will say—he is alive, he is still here, he is still, always yours—, and though it may be true, some fears cannot be erased. The fight with Phantylia had been too risky, and you knew your husband; General Jing Yuan is nothing if not self-assured, especially when faced with danger. You’d wished he had been cautious, too.

You’d wish he’d thought, for a second, about how losing him would wreck you.

“Come on, don’t make me beg,” Jing Yuan insists, his hand trailing from the small of your back to your shoulders. Your state of undress and the rays of sun filtering through the window make it easy for him to see the goosebumps rising along your skin.

You huff. “I do not think there is anything that could make you beg, General. Least of all me.”

“Was last night not proof e-”

You smack him softly, making him cough, and then laugh. The burning heat on your cheeks tells him that this is, in fact, not the moment for him to be joking around. Not even if focusing on your face is the most difficult thing to do this morning, as his golden eyes keep glancing down at the swell of your breasts pressed against the tight skin of his stomach. Jing Yuan clears his throat, eyes once again locking onto yours, disheveled silver hair framing his face.

“You were reckless,” You say, finally. There is no anger in your face, just fear, and the General at last realizes what heavy burden he has made you carry. “You were reckless, and I know you’re alive, but…”

“Darling mine,” He sits up, just a little, enough to bring you up with him. His hands leave your body, instead cupping your cheeks. His touch is gentle and soft, and you lean against the warmth of his hands. “I apologize for worrying you. You are right. I was reckless. So much for scolding Yanqing for not knowing his limits, when I rushed straight into harm myself.”

You laugh, pressing a soft kiss to one of his palms. “He takes after you.”

“Ah, he does, doesn’t he?” Jing Yuan chuckles, one of his hands leaving your face to snake around your waist. “Perhaps I ought to apologize to him as well.”

“You should, he was quite- hey!”

Your husband merely laughs, open-mouthed this time, his chuckles bouncing off the walls of your room as he pulls you closer, his hand at your waist tracing taunting circles on the skin of your hip. His laughter seems to reverberate within you, too, as he leans in to press a lazy kiss on the pulse of your neck, making you squeak again.

“First things first,” Jing Yuan says, voice slightly muffled against the skin of your neck. His silver hair tickles you as he speaks. “Let me make it up to my darling wife, hm?”

You sigh, face flushed. Who were you to deny him, anyway?

more works.

#honkai star rail #hsr #jing yuan #honkai jing yuan #hsr jing yuan #jing yuan x y/n #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan honkai #jing yuan x female reader #natsu writes #i was saying last night that i missed neuvillette and this man broke down my writer's block as if saying you cannot miss any other man

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