Tumgik
#i miss the people whove left.
lizaluvsthis · 3 months
Text
Hear me out. Dont shut me pls-
A song called Diamonds by Rihanna
That shows three and four's life along the way
(Ever since memewarps then to wotfi and then transitioning that part where three holds four up to where SMG3 has that photo from his phone and switching it to igbp.
After those moments about forced hand holding, the diary, wotfi 2023, other stuff- the whole crew including three has met PuzzleVision
So like- heres the thing. After every other crew whose been badly beaten up- the only way to make puzzlevision disappear is using a power that is strong enough to be permanently erasing any other shit when ya activate it.
And um- I'm putting up a quick fluff and all half of angsts in here.)
When puzlevision is caught on place- he instantly grabs three's foot to also include him down on with the void.
Four doesn't lose grip on three, but after a second. Three pushes him away. With a final words of goodbye.
"You'll always be part of me..."
Four couldnt hold it- did three just did that to save everyone?
This erasure could permanently remove the memories and mostly the existance or that history of the person or an object you just knew. And there wont be any other way or wont ever be turnin back.
And ever since three knew four is a journey and everything to him- he felt it to himself that
'i dont deserve him and he doesnt deserve me.'
'He'll live on the happiest life without me...'
'Dont turn back on me ever.'
'I'll always be the bad guy that you see'
Then the whole thing after it hits puzzlevision and three out- the whole memories about three being with him disappears.
Taking back where four introduced himself to three, three disappears replacing random students who felt entertained by his company.
Or when Four checks up on three after graduation on memewarps, where three originally left without any other words. Then turning to a memory where people gradually cheers on Smg4 with him not getting worried about anything.
A part where Three met four to steal his video, three disappears but replacing it to a random meme character whove been wanting to steal his videos.
That wotfi 2020? Nah. That doesnt exist. They live in peace.
Igbp? Nope. Theres just him with mario and the whole crew still having the peachs castle workin
Wotfi 2023? (Does exist right after mario steals four's NOTEBOOK. And he goes with it alone) marty doesnt exist here. Mario just wanted to SEE :)) (shocking he knows how to read- AHHH)
With three's exsistance not existing at all- Four would be all alone. But even tho he's been in the top mow and everything- He never felt so- this alone.
This dude felt like something is missing... something that inside of him feels empty- he felt like he couldnt experience much as fun and happiness could be without one thing- (cosmically linked- but the string is cut and is unbeyond to prepare after losing a partner.)
Just a certain feeling still males him wonder still.
(If ya wonder how zero would have appeared- he doesnt.)
Three smiled at four while he disappears pixel by pixel, as four cries at his partner. Memories with three slowly disappears with the flashes on his eyes.
"NO. STOP! I- I DONT WANT TO FORGET YOU! I..."
"PLEASE DONT- STOP!"
"SMG..." four wanted to cry, pour his heart out because of this.
With fast blinks, he opened his eyes back again with a clueless look. "Why was I crying? Bah- oh well-"
-
-
-
"If we already have SMG1 and SMG2 and I'm the fourth- then... who's the third...???"
[DONT PUT ME TO JAIL-]
24 notes · View notes
lilemobaby · 2 months
Note
wat duz luvv mean2 u
its reminding me every day that the words + actions i make will affect someone/something
it tells me that just cuz i cant see it doesnt mean its not there , and just because i think it is doesnt mean its there either
its telling me that the deeper i get 2 someone/thing the more it will hurt, the hurt is inevitable and i will not run and i will not guard myself from something that will find its way back in. its showing me that the more resistance i put the further i am from myself
all i wanted growing up was love unconditionally n i put that in everything i see/touch/feel /hear/taste and it will bounce back 2 me,
never regret it n i never would want 2
i love everything i can and cant see and know and everything i know and see, i love the ones who are here and the ones whove left , i love the things i see and the noises i hear n i love holding hands and i love kissing his tears and i love putting my head on their shoulder and i love staring at your eyes and i love laughing with/at you and i love the awkwardness that happens and i love the tears that fall on my face and i love the memories that scare me so bad and the ones who i love but cannot talk 2 anymore, i love the way slime feels and the hat tipping that people have done for me, n i love my friends for staying by me and i love the way people change and the way they dont i love sweaty palms n lip biting and skin tearing and knees bruising and broken and bones that are too weak and i love making playlists and feeding stray cats and i love giving people what i can and hearing my friends tell me songs and stories and i love stuttering and being nervous and i love remembering memories and cringing and more crying and i love my mom and my dad and my brother and my sister and my younger sibling i love my dog i miss my cat i love my truck and i love painting in cemeteries and walking 2 parks and i love talking on the phone and i love stretching and hearing my joints pop and i love when ive been standing for so long that the bottoms of my feet throb and i love reminding myself that i am here
0 notes
darkartistyt · 4 months
Text
welcome back to atticus explaining shit that no one asked about! our subject today: theodore sanchez
i need to infodump about my son okay
cw: mentions of child death and undeath, slight body horror (i think? im not entirely sure what to classify it as tbh)
i wont go into excruciating detail about any of this, but i figured i should give a warning regardless
i dont remember if ive ever posted art of him on tumblr but those whove seen my artfight profile may have seen this boyo before
Tumblr media
have you ever wondered, "hey atticus, what the hell is up with the scar? like half his face is missing!" well it all has to do with my boy's duterogonist tragic backstory (tm)
born theodore maddison, theo lived through a happy early childhood. his parents, while not terribly wealthy, still had plenty of money at their disposal and had no issues spoiling the kid. he had no siblings, but he got along well with his classmates and had plenty of friends.
one summer, when he was just about to turn seven, him and his parents got into a car wreck in which none of them survived. however, theo was destined to become a member of the Great Prophecy, so obviously he couldnt stay dead forever, and who better to revive him than the magical embodiment of death itself?
reaper (the magic he was destined to obtain) suddenly becomes aware that its destined user has perished and rushes to see if it can fix things. unfortunately, it realised what had happened and where they were buried way too late, so the souls of his parents had already deteriorated and their spirits moved on. and theo, being a small child and thus having a stronger soul, was close enough to complete death that reaper had to act fast. it worked, but at the cost of his soul being fractured
reaper also teleported his body above ground and held him close to try to keep him warm while he slowly woke up
theo had no idea what the hell just happened. all he knew was that he was weak, freezing, kinda hungry, and in the arms of some kind of magical entity. he was certainly afraid, but he was too exhausted to panic. reaper was still able to sense it and, via telepathy, tried to assure him that everything was going to be okay
...yeah emphasis on tried because things were certainly not okay. for one, while reaper did what it could to heal his physical injuries sustained from the crash, it was unable to completely heal the side of his face that had gotten practically torn off, and the incomplete healing left him with a huge scar and some exposed bone, though it was able to restore his eye. in fact, a lot of the spells reaper tried to cast were unable to be completed because of the soul issue. if it were to push too much, it could accidentally break it further, which would render the revival process null. secondly, as the duo came to learn, a fractured soul does a lot worse than fuck with spells used on the person; theo will occasionally be hit with spells of dizziness, his body will become extremely cold, and he'll lose the ability to breath all at the same time. thankfully, reaper is able to keep the poor kid from re-dying, and they eventually learned that this stuff is often triggered by extreme stress or a magic overpower
over the coming years, the two grew closer, reaper being theo's sole protector. it also tried to fix the soul issue, but to no avail, so instead it made a promise that as soon as hes ready to accept it as his magic, it will do everything in its power to protect him. (it was going to do that anyway tho but it figured it would be more successful acting as an internal force than an external one)
little baby theo lived on the streets for a while, not knowing how to get back home and eventually giving up. reaper acted as his mentor, teaching him what was edible and what wasnt, how to avoid people, how to use shapeshifting to hide the scar, and how to steal food without getting caught. he didnt last long before being spotted and sent to an orphanage, however
a few years later, when he was 12, he was adopted by ash's family. from them, he met new friends like lucas and his soon-to-be boyfriend ray as well as their older sisters, callie and dee-dee. callie was the first to realise he was also a prophecy member, though that didnt happen until he was 15
around that time, dee-dee and callie would get in fights a lot, most often with callie initiating them. theo, trusting dee-dee over callie, sided with her in pretty much any dispute, especially if it was Prophecy-related. during one of their fights, callie tried to hit dee-dee with magic and missed in a fit of rage, accidentally hitting theo right in his eye instead. she ended up completely burning it, to the point that reaper was unable to salvage it at the time
so now theo's half-blind, though he managed to work out an arrangement with reaper to grant it the ability to see out of its replacement for the eye so long as theo keeps control over its movements and reaper sends him information about what it sees when needed
another neat little thing is that the symbol in the eye changes based on his emotions. the default is an "x" because theo said so (pirate special interest go brrrrrrr)
0 notes
killjoygem · 4 years
Text
Also why are so many people leaving the village, are they having to get rid of people to pay for the babies or something??
1 note · View note
jaeyooniverse · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i was going thru my stuff from the concert bc i like making myself sad i guess :(  ♡
0 notes
amelka-anxiety · 3 years
Text
rant again sorry lads
TW: SEXUAL HARRASSMENT MENTION
dude ik my birthday was literally like 9 months ago but it still hurts that only two of my friends remembered (thanks weronika and @bear-1324 ) and it was just shit, only they and martha wished me a happy birthday and i have so many friends(we cant blame maysa he was out of the house that day), i feel like they just use me to help them a lot, like i have this one friend who calls me one of his best friends but only talks to me about his problems and it just sucks it makes me feel like shit and worthless
like sure i have some confidence in what i look like nowadays but the personality paranoia and fear of abandonment is still there
and so whenever any of my friends are feeling distant i know its not my fault but when its those specific people i start to think that its something wrong with me and im too clingy or annoying or selfish,
one example that shows a lot on my blog is david (my cg) hes finally trying to put some more effort but still he left me with trauma after leaving me for literal months. its hard to gain back that trust but im willing to try, i miss him and i can tell he still cares about me to some degree
see theres this thing with me where i have this mentality of 'everyone has a bit of good in them' resulting in me forgiving those whove given me trauma ill never be able to get rid off, like my ex boyfriend, sexually harrassed me several times, i broke up with him, he did again WHILE I WAS REGRESSED and then i broke up with him forever. but now, he realised his mistakes and is really trying to work on himself.
then theres my ex best friend which is a topic for another day coz that little shit left me with too much trauma srsly thanks liv
and just yeah im sad and scared of trusting people when they doNT SHOW ANY CAREEEEEEEEEE FORRR MEEEEE
fuckin ell sorry bout that
1 note · View note
lesbianechinocereus · 3 years
Text
wip meta post
tagged by @svpphicwrites (ily)
im tagging @linariouswrites @radiomacbeth @howdy-writes
it's long so under a cut
setting info:
the backstory starts with a group of seven or so astronauts who find something powerful in deep space and make a deal with it. the entity itself isn’t characterized too heavily because i want the story to be about people
that’s a theme i guess, that the monster we should be afraid of isn’t some eldritch horror sleeping under the ocean but the kind of person who has too much power and doesn’t care who he steps on to get more of it
so there is a glamorous high class society out there somewhere but the protagonists never see it until the very end of the first arc, the story takes place on dingy spaceships and entire planets that have been cordoned off as landfills and mining areas
our protagonists have to reckon with that, since when they try to look after themselves they’re accidentally striking at the foundations of what’s allowing people who aren’t them to lead much better lives. you can have borderline magical technology but the materials to build it have to come from somewhere
there is a theme to how the fountain works and an underlying rule to the setting: when a person uses it, they become powerful but they have to lose a key part of themselves in the process. it tends to follow patterns with what you can give up and what comes out on the other end, but everything actually magical is a result of people reaching the capital planet where the fountain is and making these deals or being forced to on someone’s behalf
that’s another theme, people cheating the idea of sacrificing something to be more powerful by making other people pay and stealing the benefits for themselves. hahahaha real world parallels
the people who initially found the fountain are worshipped as gods and people don’t really have room to argue with that when one of them can mind control millions of people at once and another throws around planets with his mind. this comes up later though, since most of the people on the outskirts only pay lip service to the established religion. most of them haven’t seen someone affected by the fountain personally and don’t believe the stories
Characters:
every character is paired with the person trapped inside the robot they pilot. the robots got the dealmaking part of the fountain in their bargain, they can give some of their power to the person who pilots them in exchange for having to share a body with them for life
both people are always conscious, inhabiting the humans body unless the mech is being piloted. if one wants to do something the other one doesnt want to they have to out will them, which is easier for the human in the human body or the mech in the mech body
the pilots gain their mechs abilities, for example the knight can conjure weapons for itself and wolfsige himself later learns to do that, so even cornering the pilot outside their mech is difficult
the #theme is people whove been through A Lot learning to work together and trust each other, at first because they have to to survive and later because they care about one another
all of the robots were turned into robots as punishment for crimes and were sedated to give their original pilots full control, so the moment they stop being machines and let themselves feel things it hits hard and the humans are the ones to be there for them
the human characters are also going through a ton, most of them have never fought before the story starts and have little time to deal with the fallout because things keep falling on their heads
all of the characters though are dealing with not knowing what to do with themselves and if they want to accept having that chosen for themselves. when they do become a small fighting force its on their own terms, against the choice to cut and run and leave everyone behind
wolfsige just wants to run a junkyard in the middle of nowhere, but quickly becomes team leader just because he can’t leave someone else to suffer and charges into things
the knight was an attendant in the system where the fountain was, put in a machine for trying to use it for itself, out of a fear of dying. he got his wish but lost his life and struggles finding something new to live for
z is a self-proclaimed explorer and scavenger, she originally wanted to just keep her mech for study. however her and the mech form the best friendship of the three pairs and suddenly the world’s problems are her problems as her friend was plotting against the space govt
the witch was a bodyguard for a sector governor who became mechrd for failing an assassination attempt and as an insult was left to be piloted by the person she tried to kill. initially helps z and co out of gratitude they killed her pilot even though she doesn’t believe in any of what they say, but she learns to have hope again when she sees she can help
bonus: z is partly inspired by the story about a ww2 pilot who was believed to handle flying better thanks to his missing legs
liana is initially on board, as she’s a runaway from a wealthy sector because of things she saw go down and had hired z to take her away. she has a crisis of faith when she’s forced to fight her old friends but finds new resolve when she realizes she was never treated that well back home to begin with
the spider has in fact actually done nothing wrong and is the victim of a framing by a close friend, outright refusing to trust anyone and only working with the party out of necessity until they prove themselves reliable
misc+story:
the story follows these people being dragged way over their heads by circumstances not of their own doing
they find an abandoned mech by accident, not realizing that turning it on makes them a target
they’re forced to fend off several more, the other two the protags use are ‘rescued’ the only way they can be made to change hands: killing the current pilot
this just so happens to be the inciting factor for a series of revolts on a nearby series of mining planets, and so our protagonists are dragged into all out war
im only planning this up to the first ‘arc’, whether or not i end it there will depend on how i feel then
7 notes · View notes
Note
Tell me or perish
You think I’d shut up willingly. Fool
SO to start the game off the apocalypse used here is ~*disease*~ because I’m not in this for a bleak nuclear war that wipes out most life or some zombie virus overrunning the population NO this is about HOPE and LOVE and the ENDURING SPIRIT OF HUMANITY FUCK YOU. This disease, called the Silent Death (the whole event is called the Silence) and it’s because it starts out with flu-like symptoms which are ignored generally because like bruh are u gonna take the day off work for some coughing and then it mutates into worse shit until you die horribly. It’s airborne too so it’s crazy contagious and oh shit lots of people have it. It’s able to be studied through the invention of a gas-mask type thing called the Silence-Breaker (it looks like a gas mask but only covers mouth/nose and has specialized filters designed to neutralize the virus) so there’s cures and shit and humanity is piecing itself back together after that whole event and the story begins at the start of what’s called the Sunrise Era
After that longass context, our first girl is Taylor! She is what’s known as a Carrier (someone who is infected with the virus but is immune by some random happenstance, there’s a hot few lying around). Her mom got sick and died so she, her dad, and her sister were placed in a quarantine zone along with lots of other people from her town (they just get the healthy people out of the environment of an infected person for safety’s sake). But! Taylor had already caught the virus and so she unknowingly spread it to nearly everyone in quarantine (including her family) and they all die. So she (at about age 15) is chased out to go live in the woods by herself for years until it’s cured and she gets a Silence Breaker and wears it constantly. Now she’s butch and wanders around the country burying people whove died of or as a byproduct of the Death (people are still afraid to mostly) as a sort of repentance to herself for what she’s done (even though she never meant it) and lives in constant fear of herself teehee
On that happy note, next is Kit! She’s babey! Not literally, she’s about in her early 20s, same as Taylor. Basically once the Silence started really picking up, her dad took her to a small lake house he had in the middle of fucking nowhere to wait it out. Things were going pretty ok until a group of hooligans showed up to raid their place and her dad said “gtfo” so she did. She spent the night in the woods around the house and came back that morning to find the place absolutely ransacked and her dad missing. She stayed there, fixing shit up and hunting for food until she found out the Silent Death had been cured and went to go look for her dad. He left her little messages in each place he’s been so they could find each other again. She remains pretty optimistic and cheerful, and understands that if she’d tried to help her dad that night she most likely would’ve been killed.
So they meet when Taylor stays at this town for a few nights, doing her thing, and bumps into Kit following her dad’s trail at the inn they’re both staying at. Taylor has nothing better to do and has some influence since she’s kind of a weird celebrity (I mean if a lesbian went around burying people I think there’d be a news article or two) and decides to help Kit out. And then they be gfs
4 notes · View notes
uriurijihoonie · 5 years
Text
wedding booth │ l.jc
pairing: dino/chan x reader genre: fluff, high school!au word count: 2,166 warnings: none
A/N: the scenario actually happened (but altered some parts) lol that’s it and i’m still getting the hang of writing how I used to aaaahhhh can you please send your thoughts about my writing ):
Tumblr media
Valentine’s Day; for some, it’s a day full of excitement and expectations, especially if you’re in a relationship. The dreading moment of waiting whether you’ll be surprised by a confession from your crush who also likes you, a date by your significant other or the most-awaited yes from someone the suitor pursues.
In your case, you’re neither of the three; you don’t have a suitor, much less a boyfriend, and your crush doesn’t have any interest to you at all.
But still, you’re hoping something worth remembering will happen to you for the rest of the day.
As you entered your designated building, different booths were set up in the lobby. There’s the photo booth, an open stage for people who wants to sing or dedicate a song, a mailbox booth and even a fancy marriage booth.
The college council went all out for this day, huh.
“Chill out, Y/N, we’ve got you, you’re getting married to Chan today,” your friend whispered in your ear as she draped an arm around your shoulder, to which she also removed as soon as you nudged her by your elbow.
“Don’t do it please, and if anyone hears you I swear,” You trailed off as you start to descend the stairs, “besides, he will be pissed if you do that to him.”
“Oh come on, he isn’t a killjoy, I know it.”
“Well, he doesn’t take any interest in me at all, besides it’s so random for me to be suddenly paired up with him; he’ll get clues,” You argued, walking through the hallways of your designated floor.
“That’s the point, Y/N,” you saw your friend roll her eyes at you, in which you flicked her in the forehead, “but that’s not what I intend to do, idiot.”
You entered your classroom and as cringe-y as it may be, your eyes automatically turned to where Chan was, and as if you’re being blessed today, it was a sight where he’s laughing real hard you can hear his melodious laugh ringing like soothing bells in your ears, making you smile automatically as you reached your seat, which is just right in front of him.
“Don’t intend for him to know, huh,” you can hear sarcasm in your friend’s voice as you reached for her to smack her, which she evaded with a laugh.
Classes soon started and everything about today is going well like what a normal day is like. Soon you were given ample time to go to the lobby and check out the booths, in which you easily dragged your friend to try out the photo booth.
As soon as you finished taking the shots you bought from the booth, screams and hoots were heard and soon, a crowd of people filled the other side of the lobby.
“Someone’s getting married,” said your friend. Curiously, you tried to make your way through the crowd, immediately smiling when you saw it was your two teachers who’ve been shipped by a lot of students were getting married at the booth.
“It’s Mr. Kim and Ms. Jung,” you grinned, snapping a few photos of your teachers who clearly have interest for each other.
What would it be like if Chan and I were—
You immediately stopped your train of thoughts as you move away from the crowd, shaking your head furiously as you remove any visualization from your head.
If you were to be completely honest, there’s a slim string of hope that your friend will really sign you and Chan up for the marriage booth, and who are you to fool yourself that you don’t want it to happen.
Even if it’s just fake, I’ll take it. Sheesh Y/N, you’re embarrassing.
Feeling heat rush through your cheeks and the unstoppable grin on your face, you shake off the feeling as you made your way back to your classroom, opting to read a novel you always bring with you.
Just as you turn the novel to its next chapter, one of your classmates entered your classroom, “Yah! Chan is getting married at the lobby!”
You felt as if an ice cold bucket of water is being dumped on you, your heart beating fast as you thought of your friend actually signing you up.
But that’s impossible, she’s with me all day and—
Looking back at her seat behind you, your friend is missing and just then, she barged into the room, shouting your name. “Y/N! Come with me, quick!”
There’s no time for you to escape and as soon as she dragged you down the stairs, your screams of protests were unheard as you were being led by your friend.
You saw the crowd being your classmates and you didn’t know if you should be glad you can hear their affirmative screams and hoots towards you, but their screams cannot beat the loud thumping of your heart as you can feel how it races fast.
“Ya! I told you not to do this!” You grumbled as you were dragged on the makeshift aisle, a flower crown with a veil being put into the top of your head.
“You’re welcome, Y/N,” she giggly handed you a bouquet of paper flowers and linked your arms, as if she’s your guardian for the ‘wedding.’
“C’mon Y/N, look at your ‘groom’,” she nudged your sides as your hands got sweaty, heart beating at its fastest rate, and if it’s still possible for it to get faster, your heart still accelerated as soon as your eyes met Chan’s, and seeing his eyes turn to crescents as he grin shyly and looked down to fix his suit (provided by the booth) made you smile, too.
At least it looks like he’s fine with this.
Your friend guided you as you walked through the aisle, and if it wasn’t for your arm gripping your friend’s, you would’ve cascaded on the floor as you feel your legs giving up.
As soon as you reached the makeshift altar where Chan is waiting, all noise seemed to drain out as you focus on this moment alone; Chan going to your side as he’s smiling shyly, faint hues of red painted his cheeks, but despite his own embarrassment, he still greeted you, “Hi, Y/N.”
As much as you wanted to greet him back, all you managed to do was to give him a shy smile of yours, averting your gaze to the person in charge of the ceremony in front of you.
“Good day, family and friends, we are all gathered today to witness...” all the sound drained out once again. This is really happening.
Your thoughts cut off when Chan nudged you, making you look at him, “Are you okay? You look kinda pale, Y/N.”
You wanted to utter a sentence this time but your malfunctioning self still got your tongue tied, that you only managed to give him a nod, which made him frown the slightest, “Are you bothered by this?Is it because of me?”
“No, no, I swear, no!” You blurted out, good thing the person in front of you is still not over with his spiels. You sighed, “I’m just... I’m sorry since you’re being dragged into this chaos.”
Chan laughed at your word choices, which made you smile too because did I just managed to make him laugh?
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Chan slightly faced your direction, still sporting that smile of his which you love so much, “Because I’m actually happy that it’s you.”
Before you could say something, his hand reached for your flower crown and fixed it in place. Giving you one of his smiles again, he turned back to the front, in time for the question from the person in front.
“Do you, Lee Chan, take Y/L/N Y/F/N, to be your wedded wife, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do you part?”
The person gestured for the ring that laid on the table. Looking down, you saw Chan taking one, as his other hand gestured for yours. Shaking, you held his palm, taking in just how soft his hands are and the gentleness of his hold on yours.
Leaning closer to the mic, you heard Chan say, “I do,” before he slipped in the ring on your ring finger.
The fast thumping on your heart returned. Taking deep breaths to compose yourself, you focused on looking at the ring left as you heard the person say his question,  “Do you, Y/L/N, take Lee Chan, to be your wedded husband, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do you part?”
You can see your hands trembling as you take the ring, and you lost count how much you’ve been breathing deeply. But when you look at Chan, who’s smiling at you, everything felt at ease. 
This was definitely a moment to remember.
Leaning into the mic, you said, “I do” as it’s now your turn to slip the ring in his finger.
Afterwards, the cheers you drowned out became louder once more, and as the person in front finally said the words “you may now kiss the bride,” all the nervousness and trembling came in to you all at once, and tripled when Chan carefully lifted the veil covering your face.
“Ya, what do you think you’re doing?” All your reservations for Chan escaped you when he finally lifted the veil off, but he just smiled at you. “Just trust me.”
With wide eyes, he carefully tucked some loose strands of your hair behind your ear. Is he serious? What the heck is he really serious about--
It was all cut off when he gently pulled you close to him by your arms and engulfed you in the warmest of hugs.
Taking this as an opportunity, you hugged him back, the grin forming on your face becoming wide as ever. Hoping he wouldn’t feel it, you snuggled in his chest for the tiniest bit before letting go.
Signing your supposed “marriage certificates,” you were then led into the photo booth for remembrance of your “marriage.” You didn’t know how it went but you’re sure you’re giving the most flustered look you can give. After giving you your claim stubs for the photo, Chan was about to approach you...
but then you felt the continuous vibration of your phone close to your head.
Opening your eyes, you glanced around to your surroundings. I slept at the library? You wondered. Sitting up, you reached for your phone, and all the continuous vibrations were made by the messages and missed calls from your worried boyfriend.
Opening his recent message which contained “Please tell me that you just fell asleep in the library again, baby. I’m worried,” you sighed guiltily.
You were about to reply when a familiar figure sat in front of you, and a sheepish smile went on your face as you saw Chan’s pouting face, “You could at least text me that you’re in the library.”
“I’m sorry, Channie,” you gave him one of your pouts too, as you reached for his hand across the table. “I was planning to send you a text but I got engrossed into reading.”
Ah, really,” he sighed exasperatedly, but then gave you a relieved smile as he brushed his thumb on your knuckles, “Just don’t make me worry again, baby.”
“Of course, baby. I love you,” you cooed, taking your intertwined hands close to your cheeks, but yelped when both the cold band around your fingers came into contact with your skin.
Looking at your hands, you laughed at how you’re still wearing the silver rings you got from your high school’s marriage booth three years ago, and how you just dreamed of it a while ago, “You’re still wearing this?”
“Of course, I tell the girls who try to flirt with me that I’m married-- hey! What’s wrong?!” Chan laughed as he avoided the crumpled paper you threw at him.
After you both calmed down,  you intertwined your hands once again, brushing your thumb on the cold metal band. “Tell you what, I dreamed of our wedding on that booth three years ago...”
Clearly, it was how your relationship started and bloomed. You didn’t forget how Chan also confessed to you that he likes you when he overheard you and your friend talking, and how you thought of escaping as soon as you knew he was listening, but you were glad he caught up to you..
“Someday, Y/N, maybe in another three or four year’s time...” Chan mumbled, making you hum. “What is it?”
“I’ll change these rings into real ones.” Your smile faltered for a bit, seeing how the glint in Chan’s eyes are nothing but seriousness and something you’re really grown to seeing; love.
“You’ll... say yes, right?” His eyes now hinted that of fear and nervousness. You wanted to take those emotions away from him.
And seeing how you smiled and squeezed his hand, Chan never felt more reassured than before.
103 notes · View notes
dungeonsnconcepts · 2 years
Text
Session 2 prep
So, as the session starts I need to know what Karfu is doing. It’s about 6:30 in the evening- for that matter, as Myev is heading out from the room where she’s been working, she sees Karfu banging on the door in the main chapel.
Also, I know Lucky and Finn headed to their rooms shortly after dealing with the injured acolyte, but you both realize you haven’t had dinner at this point.
In the mess hall there is a small group, about ten priests and acolytes, at the northern end of the room, closest to the kitchens. They do not seem inclined to talk to the players if prompted. This seems like too few people for dinner time, but that is not terribly odd. Nothing Karfu and/or Myev does will get normal responses out of people- the curse hut everyone who was present when it first went off VERY strongly, but it is now insidiously adding more and more effect. 
If the players go to bed, I will have them each make a Wis or Con save (DC13) whichever is higher for that particular player. If they fail, I will obviously ask what their character desires at that moment- and they’re going to be compelled to pursue it unless another PC shakes them or slaps them. 
Newander is back in the library, although the hallways seem oddly empty. He’s wandering, and if he bumps into any PCs he will act afraid of them, and once he learns they are unaffected, he will latch on telling them about how Arcite and Cleo have turned into beasts and refuse to turn back, and how the air in the library feels wrong and perverted; like the natural order is being attacked here.
The mess hall at breakfast is more aptly described with those words than ever you’ve seen it. there is a group of priests and acolytes sitting at the northern end of the room- more than last night- closest to the kitchens, absolutely Gorging them selves. You see that one of them has about ten bottles of various wines around him, and he does not look inclined to share. The two chefs are constantly cooking, and they don’t appear to have stopped at all overnight. 
There are priests whove locked themselves in various rooms. Others have left the library entirely. A pack of Oghman Priests and Priestesses are wandering the halls looking to get into a wrestling match with anyone who looks formidable- Nick, their “leader” specifically wants to wrestle with Karfu (and if he starts winning he might not stop).  If anyone gets more than a 20 on their save vs compulsion (which saves will occur any time they seem to want something), they can detect a pinkish mist hanging around the floor and particularly clouding around people as if clinging to them. Mulvey has gone missing. 
Not sure how the players will notice it- if they go outside they’re accosted by the squirrel, if inside there is a secret path through the cellar- but they have to get to the catacombs today. I have three encounters designed for in there; They need to reach them. 
1 note · View note
exotahu · 6 years
Text
It’s here, the giant Bronycon post!
As per usual I don’t usually make this many words ever so shit might be wonky. and also it was written over the course of a few days so things might not line up in the right order. Also, fair warning I get kinda weird and sentimental at the end there. Also I have no idea if tumblr will break the formatting real bad so heres hoping it doesn’t
Thursday We left early without much incident. Only a group of 4 this time. Me, Andy, his brother Justin, and Andy's girlfriend Sam who was coming in via plane.
It was a really easy journey. Even stopped at the one Speedway with the good hotdogs. I decided to tie a ribbon in my hair too, I always say I should do something more with it than just tie it back. So I figured I'd try it. We got to Baltimore in what felt like no time at all. We checked in and went to our rooms and waited for Sam. I fiddled with my little electric name badge thingy I bought last year. Got it to say my name and Bronycon 2018 with some hearts and sparkles. Once Sam got settled in, we all met back up to go to pre-reg. She and I were afraid we'd weird each other out but we ended up getting along great. We all went to pre-reg and picked up our badges. Then, after dropping our stuff off at the hotel we ventured back out into the inner harbor for food and hanging out. We opted not to go to Dick's this time, opting instead to go to Tir na Nog. Got my usual pub food. The Vodka cranberry (yes even though I planned on drinking later) and the plain cheese burger. I like to eat the same thing at all the places, because I think it's neat to see the same food through the different lenses of different restaurants. Tir na Nog in Baltimore is different than O'Toole's in Albany is different from Jack Astor's in Toronto. After that we went to the big Barnes and Noble and looked at books and stuff. Then we all went to that ice cream shop thats right next door. They sell tea apparently so I got a small one. Missed the regular size straws so I had a huge straw (Like a goddamn footlong) in a tiny cup (like 3 inches). We went to the bars in Fells point after that. We only got slightly lost, but we found it. We didn't register for the actual bar trot, cause you don't really have to to enjoy drinks. We went to the Dog's Watch Tavern first cause they usually have a good shot, which in this instance was a Pinkie Pie shot. Don't know what was in it but I had several. We went to the Admiral after that. It was the best as it usually is. I think I drank like, 4 of the Trixie, there was a Sunset Shimmer drink (But it was secretly the Applejack. I liked it anyway). And I had most of a Rainbow Dash drink. I must say, I absolutely adore the atmosphere at this bar. The bartender is great and clearly loves what he does. A couple people recognized me cause I sit in the same spot more or less every time, and the goggles that I wear. That was pretty neat. Got pretty drunk, decided to go back after that to prep for the next day. We got a little bit lost on the way back too, but it brought us by the CVS so I bought a couple boxes of PopTarts. We got back to the hotel and went to bed.
Friday
Tried to get up for opening but missed most of it. Caught the tail end of it though. Sleep deprivation got me, plus the buttload of alcohol didn't really help. Hung out in the harmony plaza til the apple family panel. There was a photoshoot that happened but there wasn't a ton of people there. Saw apple family VA panel. It was pretty funny. Went to the vendor hall and walked it to get the layout, I didn't want to just chaotically walk around and not know where anything was so I strictly just walked each isle in a pattern. Actually helped me remember where booths were. I spoke to an artist about getting a comission for a friend who couldn't make it. His slots were full for the day so I figured I'd come back Saturday. I bought an original piece from him, which was actually pretty cool. I then went to the comic booth. I am trying to get at very least the A and B covers for every comic, Plus I wanted first prints of the first issue mane 6 covers. I got the first prints of the two #1 issues I needed. Then I got invited to Jonny Rockets, and due to needing to finish something in the vendor hall it took me a little bit. My friends are cool and waited for me even though I went on one hell of a journey to get there. So I got out of the vendor hall which exited by the Hilton sky bridge. Figure, shit I'll just take the sky bridge on the opposite side so I go for it. Get out there, pass the other hotel (hyatt?) and what used to be a wide open plaza. (Now it's a parking lot). Realize the goddamn thing ends there and there is no way down (unless I went back through the convention center and all the way back around), and more of the bridge is missing. Figure I don't want to walk all the way back so I go through the hotel. No idea if I was supposed to go through that door cause it looks like there were unused decorations everywhere. Nobody stopped me so I made it out to the street. Realize I still have to walk to the corner to cross, but say fuck it and randomly cross in the middle to the street island thing. Then I almost died to a puddle walking on the sidewalk behind some food trucks. Caught myself though. Finally I get there and we hang out and get a burger. On our way back I managed to drop a Pokemon on the Bronycon gym. We went back to the vendor hall. Hung out and looked at stuff. Me an Sam went shopping for pillows. We each bought one, only the case though. Had no space to store the full whole thing.  We went to the whoves line pannel after that. It was really funny, especially the bit where they acted like the friendship map was a computer that got a ton of viruses and went to a "bad dragon" website. I am surprised I've never gone to it before. We went to Jimmy Johns for dinner and then dropped our stuff off at the hotel and headed to the palooza. The performances were great, although they somehow got super off schedule. I bought a Shake-Ups CD. I stayed until the end. I enjoy the palooza immensely, but those 2AM nights are rough. My legs end up being noodles and its a guarantee I won't get to bed until atleast 330. Which is about when I went to bed.
Saturday
Had a bit of a slow start but I wanted to speak to the artist about that comission for my friend who couldn't make it. Even though I was slow, I still got there early enough. The thing he wanted would have been too complex, so I came up with something I think he'll like. Then I went to the comic booth and figured out what I needed to complete the A and B covers for the main comic series. It was cool cause they just let me into the booth to look. I believe I've done it, I just have to add everything to my app to make sure. I ran out of space in my comic storage, so I only did the main series. Next year I will buy for the side series. (There is a lot less). As of typing this out, I found the shop's location. Only a 3 hour drive. Might make a trip of it so I don't have to worry about it at next year's con. Dunno. Met back up with Andy and Sam in vendor hall. We looked around before leaving to get food and make a hotel drop. We got lunch at the JJ before heading to the script reading panel with Tabitha. Usually they're pretty strict about recording at these. Usually one of the staff says something about my camera, but nobody said anything. Or mentioned not recording it at all. I wonder if anyone uploaded it. It was about the mane 6 and a convention called "boomycon" which was about an alt. universe Derpy as a comic character who rides a meteor or something. The comic characters crossed over into the regular universe and shenanigans ensued. It was pretty funny. After that we went back to vendor hall to check on something, and I bought another of those dang pillows, and these weird flow rings, plus some other small stuff, including some super fucking adorable chibi-ball plushie things of Fluttershy and Tempest (Pretty sure I posted pictures). We made a hotel drop and got food. We tried to get into the DIY pony plush making but ultimately the wait list was too long. At this point we went to the sky terrace thing. Apparently there was a wedding, which is really fucking cool! Then we just found some chairs to just kind of chill in. Justin had a mini-pizza that came in a mini-pizza box. We're just sitting there talking and some guy came up and leaned over. We all thougt maybe he had left something. Then we notice he's signing the empty pizza box? He then just says you're welcome and leaves. It took a second then we realized... It was MA Larson. Fucking hillarious. I went back to the hotel again, meeting up with a friend on the way back. Met back up with everyone else at the palooza after that.  Brought the rings I bought and was playing with them, while doing my awkward-ass flail dancing. A couple people thought they were cool which was neat. I really enjoyed all the performances. A cover of 500 miles happened, Eurobeat was fantastic. Great show. I caught a T-Shirt that was thrown. (Which never happens ever and even though it's a small size it still fits.) Again I stayed until 2 AM, got to bed about 330.
Sunday Sundays are usually always the chill day where not much happens. Woke up around the usual time and headed over to the vendor hall. I wandered and bought some last minute things (Pillow #3...). I met back with everyone else around noon. We spent most of day in vendor hall just hanging out. One thing I did, was get a comission of my pony OC. I've been wanting to for years, just to say I had so I finally did it. I'm looking forward to it. Also saw a little digital badges that you could store pictures in. After that we went to the fountains to hang out before lining up for closing ceremonies. They opened with a nifty performance by Step2Harmony. Some of the guests said their farewells before the con chairs started talking about the numbers, a little more than 5000 people. (I don't remmeber the exact number, might have been closer to 5600?). After that was a skit involving the mascots. Blank Canvas got accepted into an art school and Hoof Beatz was going on tour, and the date they were leaving was the end of August next year. They run off stage and Mane Event just stood there like "What about us... : (" Scene end. Sure enough, the con chairs came back out and annouced that next year is going to be a 4 day event instead of a 3 day event. They also anounced that next year is going to be the last Bronycon and that they are ending the event in 2019. You could feel the moment where everybody's hearts broke. There were a lot of people crying. I was pretty choked up too, and I'm honestly not sure how I kept myself together. We walked back to the hotel. While we were waiting for the elevators, you could tell the mood was pretty sombre. Dropped off my bag and went back down to the lobby to wait for Andy and Sam. We all headed down to the inner harbor to go to Bubba Gumps. We had a hour and a half wait, that we spent hanging out in the harbor and the pavillion. One of them seemed to be closed this year. They seem to get smaller and smaller each year. Bubba Gumps as always was fantastic. I got the usual Shrimper's Heaven. Even got to eat the shrimp that Sam didn't eat. Bonus shrimp! Spent 60$ on my check and regret nothing. We went back to the hotel with the intent of playing some Shipfic in the one banquet room the hotel usually has open, which we did! Another group played the pony movie which was neat. We also saw an Insomnia Cookies down in Fells Point so we decided to order some. It took a little more than an hour. But I got the call and they showed up to the hotel and handed me a very warm box. The cookies were fantastic. Every bit worth the wait. I think I have one somewhere relatively close to my home but I'm nowhere near the delivery radius. Probably a good thing because I would go broke buying cookies. They're pretty awesome. Some guy had also had a baby skunk! No idea how he pulled that off or how the hotel was cool with it but it was really cute. Once the movie ended most of the people left. After that we went back to our rooms. Me and Sam got a group picture of all the pillows we bought. I packed most of my stuff after that and went to bed.
Monday.
Woke up, got the car all packed and cleared the rooms pretty quick. We had thought to do some other stuff, but we really didn't have time. Instead we went to Tir na nog and just hung out until we had to leave. Any day you can be mildly drunk before noon and have it not be a problem is a good day. We dropped Sam off at the airport after saying our goodbyes. We hit the road after that and started our journey home. Which was honestly fairly uneventful. No one's windsheild broke. No one's catalytic converter got stolen. We made a couple of stops but nothing really interesting. Got home way earlier than I'm used to. Like 5:30-6PM. And then I realized, Bed, Bath and Beyond was still open. So I drove out there to get the actual pillows for the pillow cases. Found the exact ones the guy at the booth I bought them from. They were on sale, so they were only 20$. Then I had the fun time of fitting 3 hugeass pillows in my really tiny car. Got back home and finished unpacking.  
Conclude:
I had a really good time this year. It was very a relaxing trip and I enjoyed spending time with everybody. It never quite feels long enough. I didn't make any real attempt at cosplaying this year. Just didn't really feel into it. I did wear my Sylveon ears that were given to me by a friend though. And I had my goggles, which are just kind of a thing now I guess. I tied a blue ribbon in my hair too. I never do anything with it and I guess I decided now was the time. I think I'm going to do that more often from now on. Next, I am beyond incredibly sad that next year is the last one. Bronycon has been one of the big things I look forward to doing each year. It's easily been one of the best cons I've ever been to. The atmosphere was great, the staff was great. The con ending will also mark the end of a 12 year tradition for me of going down to Baltimore for a con. The only year I wasn't able to go to was 2010 because there was just no way I was going to be able to swing it. Aside from that, I went to Otakon from 2006 until 2012. I had honestly kinda burned out on that though and wasn't sure if I was gonna go back, but it would be shortly after returning from the 2012 Otakon, Bronycon announced that they were gonna move to the Baltimore Convention Center in 2013. Some other friends were interested in going, and since I knew the area so well, we decided to go for it. I went every year after that. Hell, it's how I ended up meeting Andy (which is a pretty funny story all on it's own), it's also how I ended up recconecting with another friend of mine from way back in the day as well as others. There were good times and adventures to be had outside the Con as well. Bubba Gumps, the bar trot in Fells Point(that goddamn Trixie drink, looked like something I'd never have been able to drink, but it is easily my favorite alcoholic drink that has ever existed. I really hope I can get the recipe next year), the bigass barnes and noble, the aquarium, the pavillion. It seems like every year it gets better and I've never felt bored of it or burned out. I am going to miss this immensely, I suppose I'll have to find another con to go to, or atleast other adventures to have but one thing is for sure, I'm never going to forget any of this. All the good times that we've had, or this big thing I've been a part of or this place that has brought me so much joy over the years.
(Once next year ends and I walk out of that convention center for the last time, I am going to be a complete goddamn mess. It's going to be a terrible day for rain...)
Also, though I don't know if you'll ever read it, as I don't think we've spoken in several years now, to the person who convinced me to go to that first Otakon back in '06, Thank you. For introducing me to this place, and setting off a real wacky series of adventures. I don't know if any of this would have happened if you hadn't convinced me to come down here all those years ago. Once again, thank you, and I hope you're doing well.
tl;dr Good fuckin' con, but Pete fuckin' sad.
1 note · View note
morningpages-louise · 5 years
Text
November 01 - Setting intentions for November, looking back at 2018 so far, and Reminders and affirmations of life.
it's fucking november. what the fuck. this month, no this year, it went by so fast. i literally say that every year tho. we all do. why is that? the worst part is, most of us, including me, go by it without being mindful. without appreciating the things happening before us. we just kind of let these moments slide right through us. we forget to be mindful. we forget to take a breath, look around and appreciate. appreciate all that we have. appreciate this moment right here which will never ever be replicated. instead, we thinkin about what's lacking. we think about what could make these moments better. we bring in negativity into an otherwise perfect moment. it's annoying as hell but we all do it, we do it unconsciously. this negativity should not and will not rule over our lives. that's why this November, I VOW TO BE MORE MINDFUL--take deeper breathes. take things slower. not overthink every single fucking situation and just allowing each moment to pass. i really want to spend less time infront of my screen too. engaging in mindless social media which is so damn bad i dont know why im sucked into it so much :( but yeah. i just want to go back to the basics. slow down. appreciate. and cherish these last 2 months that I have left. because i will never have these months left. appreciate and take into grattitude.
i would also really like to just look at this year that went by because it's almost coming to a close. 2 months. you know what i find myself being so busy but I must never forget who i am and who my values are and what i value and why i took up all these opportunities in the first place -- for growth, to develop myself, to step out of my comfort zone and become more of the person who i am bound to be, whoever that is. sometimes i really feel like im being sucked in the system. it's like i forget the reason why i decided to do this work in the first place. and it's so damn important to never lose that. never lose that meaning and that reason and that drive that pushed us to try this new thing out in the first place. so damn important. huhu i feel like im on my flow. i love it when these moments come. work starts to be on autodrive and my mind is clearer, and i feel more motivated to work and all. but yes, it's november 2 now. i started writing this november 1.  I feel like when i started this term, i had a grip on my life. i had so much free time. i had a routine set in motion, but then it felt at times like i was just doing certain things for that tick on my planner, which is one of the reasons i stopped using my green bulletjournal. and i was just setting myself up to do so many things -- listen to the news, meditate, write, yoga, and all that stuff and the reality is, as simple as these tasks may be, i just didn't have the time to do most of the stuff and i wanted to do it out of impulse and not out of force, although i do know that that force is what makes certain tasks habits but you get what i mean. so yeah ive completely gotten rid of that way of living. now, it's just me and a black empty canvas and i kind of just choose how i go about my day. the things i want to do more of are
--> Find more time to Read. god, it's been so hard to slip in a quick 30 minutes or even a goddamn chapter :( i get so anxious man gud. so even if i do find a little hole for me to do what i love doing so much, i get an anxious feeling in the back of my mind which is annoying as hell.
--> Indulge in creative projects. no, not write for the sake of my damn internship and shit but create projects that give me joy. i feel like its so important to find time to do these things because being creative is a sort of portal to your soul. it taps into your consciousness and what interests you, what aspects fascinate you and all that stuff. for me, i'd really love to create more personal videos about important moments in my life. i've only done one video about my birthday but it felt so damn great to be honest. the next one i would like to do would be a video about my unit because that unit i hold so close to my heart man. so many memories. so many moments. so many people whove spent a certain amount of time at one point of their lives. im really obsessed with memories. i love saving them. i love keeping them and organizing them so i can look through them from time to time. yup i guess im floating. that's the song im listening to now. it's awesome. it feels like im stuck in a particular moment. held within time. that kind of stuff. god writing feels so good. it gives me a fucking high. makes me tap into my consciousness and check in on how im feeling. okay anyways getting a bit off track.
--> spend more time appreciating things and being in the moment rather than on social media. cmon guys, it's practically the last 60 days of 2018 and im gonna spend it attached to my goddamn phone? nuh-uh. the time for living should be now. the time for being aware and savoring every little moments and creating memories and cherishing them and just taking moments to feel goddamn alive you know. make this year worth something.
but honestly, it's hard to really look back at this year and see the growth that has transcended over the course of the few months. it's hard to look back because im living in it right now and i don't know. right now, it doesn't really feel like much has changed. it doesn't really feel like ive grown. or ive changed or ive bloomed which was literally this year's motto dba. that's why my peg for the whole year was a sunflower, inspired by tylor the creator's album sunflowers or whatever it was called. i still feel the same. i have felt like im the same person for so long to be honest. it never really feels like ive changed, but i bet i have. i just fail to see it. but honestly in terms of headspace, i can honestly say that i feel like im in a better place. im more at peace with certain aspects of my thoughts. ofcourse, i don't think we can ever really be fully at peace with ourselves, but in some way i feel like ive mended certain parts. i'm not in so much pain anymore. when i started the year, i had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost three years. ofcourse i still think about him every now and then, how can you not honestly especially when you spend so much time with a person like that, and it does still pain me when he chats with me to ask something or when i see him because i get a little hope extinguished in me of us getting back together even though i know in the end, despite everything, that we're better off apart. we're better off not together. because it was getting so bad. there was no fire. there was nothing. i felt like i was just forcing myself at times to like him. i didnt even look forward to seeing him whenever i came back from Manila, and that's not a good sign at all. so yeah, i know the most annoying advice ever is when people say time heals. it's so frustrating because you can't really do anyhing but let time heal you and well, it's true. it sucks but its so true. in time, you will just hurt less. there will be a time when his name comes up and it doesn't hurt so much or your thoughts don't start jumping up into nostalgic memories of the both of you. strangers again. it sucks but its the reality, i guess. i knw we shouldn't be together. we weren't a good match no matter how much nstalgia tells you otherwise. but i really really really hope to become good friends with him atleast. not be so fucking scared whenever im about to see him. not feel like i have to drink a whole fucking liter of beer before i see him. because in all honestly, he was such a good friend. so caring and so kind and he always tried to make a positive situation out of something so negative. his optimism sometimes annoyed the shit out of me especially when we were together because it's not as easy to just say like oh don't think about it like that. life is so much more complicated than that. its' a lot more complex. hay i really miss talking to him. he was such a good person to just let everything out to. i miss that the most. but it's okay. i have this morning thoughts now dba? to let everything out and just dump my thoughts and whats been circulating nonstop in my mind. cge anyways, what else. i feel healed. i feel like my headspace is better. well--i also feel like ive gotten better with regards to my connections. i love how this year, ive added new people to my circle. my favorite part. i love how this year has opened me to meeting more people. it has also let me become closer to my existing relationships. made it stronger and that makes me so happy. probably the most important thing i learned this year was the importance of connections, and that no man is an island. no matter how introverted we may be, we can't survive without having connected with other people. i really just want to have more of those throughout my life--genuine connections. where i can be myself and they can be themselves. and where we actually enjoy each others companies. not lackluster, shallow relationships that never seem to go beyond a certain level you know. i want deep, loving, intimate connections. i wish to find a tribe of people where i feel supported and everything. my life goal. but yeah im happy ive opened myself up to meeting new people. probably the biggest development of this year is well the fact that i now have an internship-say what? and or a company ive been following for quite some time nonetheless, mad travel. this whole year i feel like ive been trying to get a job and now i finally have found the time to do so and it makes me happy :) atleast. i know i am capable of gainig jobs and putting myself out there. i feel more confident applying for my jobs and my resue is looking fine. and although my internship is actually sort of a source of stress and anxiety these days, i shouldnt take it so goddamn seriously because in 2-3 years i will just look back at these moments and it wont even matter. what mattered is i did my best. i shouldnt take my work so seriously gyud. that's why i hate turning down friends or turning down invitations for my fucking work because in the end we all fucking die. in the end whatever titles we may have at the moment wont even fucking matter you know. we all die in the end so just live unapologetically and bear yourself to the world. that's so damn difficult and i feel like we take life so damn seriously. we really need to loosen up and have fun and not overthink every single fucking thing. why are we all so damn anxious? it makes me so angry like goddamn get it together. we have lost the true essence and meaning of our lives. we have forgotten why we are here in the first place. to love. to feel. to experience. to learn and most of all, to enjoy. okay that's my ted talk. goodbye and sayonarra.
0 notes
trendingnewsb · 6 years
Text
Gloria Allred on Suing Trump: Its Going to Be a Battle
PARK CITY, Utah This will teach you a lesson.
Those six words lit a fire under Gloria Allred, the renowned womens rights attorney, that burns brightly to this day.
To understand Allredher motivations, her fears, her single-minded pursuit of justiceyou have to know her story. Its an eye-opener, and one that few of her (mostly) male detractors, who have taken to dismissively branding her an ambulance chaser or media whore, have even scratched the surface of.
Im all about empowerment, she says. Words will never stop me.
In the mid-60s, Allred split from her husband after his bipolar disorder began posing a threat to their childs well-being. A single mother, she moved with her young daughter, Lisa, from Philadelphia to sunny California. Shortly thereafter, and needing to blow off some steam, she took a trip with one of her girlfriends to Acapulco. There, she met a striking physician who was to take her out for a night on the townbut first, he said, he had to make some house calls. He guided Allred into a house, only no one was home. The man brandished a gun. Then he raped her.
It gets worse. The attack left her pregnant, and it being the 1960s, a safe, legal abortion wasnt an option. So Allred was forced into a back-alley abortion. She went alone. The procedure left her hemorrhaging, and, losing considerable blood, she checked herself into the hospital, where she was placed in a ward with numerous other women whod received the same procedure. Many of them didnt make it. As Allred lay in recovery, the nurse tending to her looked her dead in the eye and said, This will teach you a lesson.
Allred has, in the decades since, became not just a champion for women, but for minorities, too. Shes taken on the Catholic Church, the Friars Club, the TSA, you name it. In 1995, she became a household name after representing the family of Nicole Brown Simpson during O.J.s murder trial; in 2004, she filed the first lawsuit to challenge the same-sex marriage laws in California, on behalf of her longtime pals Robin Taylor and Diane Olson. (The California Supreme Court ruled in their favor, setting an important legal precedent in the fight to legalize same-sex marriage.)
I represent numerous persons who allege they are victims of Harvey Weinstein, and some of them allege that they were the victims of inappropriate conduct here as well. At Sundance.
Gloria Allred
And at 76, she shows no signs of slowing down. In recent years, Allred, whos been dubbed the master of the press conference, has garnered headlines for representing 33 of Bill Cosbys sexual-assault accusers; several women accusing the director Roman Polanski, film executive Harvey Weinstein, and politician Roy Moore of sexual-assault; and three women whove accused Donald Trump of sexual-assault. Shes currently representing The Apprentice contestant Summer Zervos in a defamation suit against President Trump, after he called her a liar for claiming to have been assaulted by him at the Beverly Hills Hotel in 2007the same hotel where he allegedly rendezvoused with porn star Stormy Daniels.
Oh, and if that werent enough, shes the subject of an inspiring new documentary Seeing Allred, that debuted at this years Sundance Film Festival and will be out Feb. 9 on Netflix. The film, directed by Roberta Grossman and Sophie Sartain, chronicles Allreds journey from working-class Philly to celebrity attorney.
I sat down with Allred at Sundance to discuss the doc and her storied career.
Its interesting that this documentary is premiering at Sundance, because this is the place where Rose McGowan alleges that Harvey Weinstein raped her.
I represent numerous persons who allege they are victims of Harvey Weinstein, and some of them allege that they were the victims of inappropriate conduct here as well. At Sundance. But I cant discuss them further.
The McGowan episode is said to have happened in 1997. Its 21 years later. One of the major fest themes this year is courageous women, with documentaries on Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Jane Fonda, and yourself, and the Respect Rally that you spoke at. There seems to have been a seismic shift both at this festival and beyond with the #MeToo and #TimesUp movementsit seems to have a lot to do with the election of President Trump?
I think this wave has been building for many years. Women have been speaking out long before the #MeToo movementalthough thats been importantand many of them have been speaking out with me because they want their voices to be heard, and because they demand change. But I think the wave has become a tsunami, and were never going to be the same again. Were not going to be silent anymore, because the cost of silence, they have assessed, is greater than the cost of speaking out. Its really harmed them emotionally in many cases, its harmed them economically, and in some cases they allege theyve been harmed physically as a result of trying to keep all that rage and anger about what theyve been forced to suffer within them. So I encourage them not to tranquilize themselves out of their anger and their rage but to take that as a source of energy and have it help them move forward in a positive, constructive way. It may be too late for them to sue or too late for law enforcement to assist them in any way, but its not too late for them to speak out, to demand legislative changes, to run for office, and to fight for change.
youtube
But the election of Trump seems to be the thing that lit the fuse, no? When you elevate a man to the highest office in the land whos been accused of sexual-assault by 19 women, and whos on tape bragging about assaulting womenand whos said very ugly things to you, when he said youd be very very impressed with his manhood…
Yeah, well, you might notice who prevailed in that battle. We demanded that [trans contestant Jenna Talackova] be put back in the beauty pageant and to remove the rule that you have to be a naturally-born female, and he did put her back and he did remove the rule, and of course ultimately said he was going to do that anyway.
And I meana year or two later, after we won that battle, I happened to see him at Fox News in the green room. He was on a show before I was. I was sitting there with another client and about to come on a show, and he comes in, and I thought, oh my goodness, whats he going to say to my client? So he says, Oh, Gloria. I heard you were here. He turns to my client and says, Miss so-and-so, I just want you to know: you have the best lawyer. This woman is relentless. She will never stop until she wins you the justice you think you deserve, so never, ever fire her because you will never get anyone better. I was astounded, given that wed just won that battle. And Ive never seen him since.
Whats the status of the fundraising for Summer Zervos defamation suit against President Trump? Id read that you were at $30,000 in donations at the beginning of this month.
Well, were actually not engaged in fundraising. What we have done is weve put on our webpage that if people want to contribute, they can. But weve done no fundraising activities, mailers or any of that. So many people have asked us if they can donate, and where they can donate, and we certainly welcome it because the costs of litigating a caseforget the fees, Im not charging for my feesagainst the President of the United States and his billionaire friends, some of whom may or may not be contributing to him, this is a huge endeavor. We need the support of the public, if they wish to provide it, but Im not going out actively soliciting [donations], because Im very busy with the cases.
What did you think about The New York Times piece late last month? It accused you and your daughter of partisanshipbasically, a left-wing conspiracyin receiving donations from prominent Democratic allies, like David Brock, in pursuing lawsuits against Trump.
I remember the piece youre talking about. It mixed up a lot of things that really werent related. Let me be clear: David Brock hasnt contributed one cent to us.
That money went to your daughter, Lisa Bloom.
Well, I dont know what shes received or what she hasnt received, but not one cent went to me or any of my clients. And thats all I can say.
How confident are you that Summer Zervos defamation case against Trump will go forward, and that youll be able to depose the President of the United States?
Were waiting for the courts decision. Ill say that I am hopeful, but there are very complicated legal issues involved. Weve made our arguments, hes made his motion to dismiss the arguments, weve made our arguments in opposition, theyve replied, and now were waiting to see what the court will do. The judge appears to be a very bright judge who asked the right questions from both sides. Its going to be a battle.
Trumps defense is interesting here. His team is arguing that what Trump says is protected by the First Amendment, and that the statements he makes at rallies to rouse people dont have to be entirely truthful.
Im glad you mentioned what you just said, because the reason we filed this lawsuit is because we believe the truth matters. Thats the reason. We believe truth matters, and we believe that if a person believesor has reason to believethat they were defamed, they should have a right to pursue the person that defamed them.
Has President Trumpor any of his intermediariessettled or attempted to settle with any of your clients?
Not to my knowledge.
What are your thoughts on Stormy Daniels reported $130,000 settlement with Trump? The whole situation is interesting, because Trumps longtime lawyer, Michael Cohen, is alleged to have created a company in order to transfer the settlement funds surreptitiously.
Ill just say that I did not represent her in any settlement, and therefore I have no comment if there was a settlement. But its definitelyan interesting issue. But I will say, with the film, I hope that people who see Seeing Allred understand that they can take on in their own lives people who are powerful that have hurt them. Whether these people are celebrities in the political world, the entertainment world, the sports world, the education world, they religious world, they can take this as a teaching moment and say, wait, I can stand up and do something about the injustice that has been inflicted upon me by this powerful person. That, for me, is what its all about.
I wanted to ask about your daughter, Lisa Bloom. Theres a very brief scene in the film that mentions how she worked for accused predators Harvey Weinstein and Roy Price, and it was later revealed how she provided opposition research in response to Ronan Farrows queries in an attempt to smear Weinsteins alleged victims. What are your thoughts on her decision?
[Silence]
It seemed, at least to me, like she got blinded a bit by the Hollywood element. Harvey Weinstein was opting her book for a potential film or television project. A similar thing happened with Hillary Clinton, who was developing a project with Weinstein up until the sexual-assault allegations surfaced.
My daughter has her own law firm. She decides who shes taking on as clients and who shes not. I have nothing to do with those decisions, and she doesnt decide who I take as clients or dont take as clients. So all I can say is I love her, I support hershes a wonderful lawyerand I have no comment on that other than to say Im proud of my daughter, and shes doing what she can to help victims.
Once you learn the full breadth of your story, it seems extra insidious when you see powerful menand it is mainly mencriticizing you, a person whos been assaulted, for primarily defending women who have been assaulted, harassed or discriminated against by men.
I will say that I do want to give credit and recognition to many men who come up to me and say, I have daughters. Thank you. I know youre waging this fight for my daughters. I do think that many men who care about their daughters understand that, but look, its about education. Theres always going to be some individuals who are not well informed, who want women to be subordinated, who want women to be denied their rights, and who want women to live as second-class citizens. But Im about real change. Im about empowering persons who are victims and minorities who are denied their rights, so I just think of the brave suffragists before me who fought in the United States for 72 years just to win the right to vote. I know what herstory is. What they went through was far more of an act of courage than what Ive been engaging in for 42 years, and they were not deterred by being called names or being accused of falsehoods. That doesnt deter me, either.
Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/gloria-allred-is-ready-to-take-president-trump-to-court-its-going-to-be-a-battle
from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2n3mm6d via Viral News HQ
0 notes
apsbicepstraining · 6 years
Text
John Mitchell preserves it real as US Eagles face Italy team missing Parisse and more
Ex-All Blacks coach says Americans have an opportunity to beat first tier-one crew but counselings careful over impact of Super and PRO Rugby players
The US Eagles play their first summer Test on Saturday, looking for a first triumph against countries around the world from the first tier of world rugby union.
The game against Italy tier-two Russia follow next week is head manager John Mitchells firstly on American grime. Italy, incumbents of the Six Nations wooden spoon, will be playing their second activity under Conor OShea. The Irishman, who oversaw a 30 -2 4 defeat in Argentina last weekend, has left the hugely experienced forwards Sergio Parisse, Martin Castrogiovanni and Alessandro Zanni at home.
Definitely we have an opportunity, said Mitchell on Friday, having advanced with his team to the Avaya Stadium in San Jose. Whether we can do enough to acquire is dependent on what weve done in camp, on the impact of the bench. Its about putting on the t-shirt, forming consistency and creating prevailing renditions.
Mitchell is a former All Blacks pate coach-and-four who has worked in England, Australia and South Africa. His first five plays in charge of the USA came in the first Americas Rugby Championship, in February and March. The Eagle started with a 35 -3 5 attract with an Argentina XV, followed up with acquires over Canada and Chile, then suffered astonish wins in Brazil and Uruguay.
The ARC units ran widely, and the men who await the Azurri are far removed from those flogs in Barueri and Montevideo. They will be captained by the large-scale Newcastle back-rower Todd Clever, who will become the joint-most-capped Eagle, and guided from fly-half by AJ MacGinty, fresh from acquiring the Pro1 2 with Connacht.
There is also Super Rugby experience: hustler James Hilterbrand of the Waratahs and two flankers, Andrew Durutalo of the Sunwolves and, on the bench, Tony Lamborn of the Hurricanes. Mitchell accepts such strength, though he also voices an interesting memorandum of careful.
Our biggest challenge, he says, is that a lot of our overseas participates, many of them including Hilterbrand and Lamborn are merely stockpiles in those cultures. So they are yet to learn how to sustain durable executions week in, week out.
You do notice that sometimes in their concentration degrees when preparing, so thats certain challenges for us too, trying to keep those actors on task. Its surely their intention to do so, but why i am terrace musicians it creates a different psychology.
Thretton Palamo takes on the Samoa defence at the World Cup, with AJ MacGinty in backing. Photo: Charlie Crowhurst/ Getty Images
Mitchells arrival in the US was delayed by lineage affairs, and he did not select the ARC squad. Accordingly, he determines the Italy game as the first real objection in which Ive had an influence on selection in collaboration with my staff, though at the end of the day Im the convener and Ive had a big influence on it.
While some leading player are with the Eagles sevens crew, preparing for the Rio Olympics, a large Eagles Elite Training Squad has be gradually whittled down, subjected to exacting standards of fitness. Thanks in part to the advent of PRO Rugby, simply two of the match-day 23 New York Athletic Club lock Nate Brakeley and reserve back-rower Harry Higgins, from Old Blue in the same city do not presently pay a full-time living from rugby. This is unprecedented for a US squad, but Mitchell makes an interesting point.
One thing that has been a little disappointing and see, he says, is some of the PRO Rugby participates in the team that were on the ARC tour have actually come[ into camp] in worse surrounding than they were in ARC, which scares me.
It is a possibility[ they are not used to] the week in, week out schedule,[ but] I visualize PRO Rugby has to look moving forward at how they support the athlete around persuasivenes and conditioning. And too education around nutrition. Its one thing having a professional contract, but are those homes catering for all facets of professionalism?
There are those working in US rugby who will merrily say off the record that Italy can definitely be beaten. On the record, Mitchells realism is comprehensible , not least because he was formed in the toughest rugby person on land. A midweek All Black as a participate, he launched a coaching occupation in which the toughest jolt, a World cup finals semi-final demolish by Australia, is now 13 times in the past. Since then he has are going through downs as well as ups.
So have the Eagles. They have pushed the Maori, attracted 61,500 to watch the All Blacks and led Scotland at half-time. There ought to have disappointments too. In 2012, Italy left Houston with a 30 -1 0 prevail. In 2013 and 2014, Ireland and Scotland also prevailed in Texas. The 2015 World cup finals began with hope of progress, exclusively for Japan to glint instead.
Also, in most recent years there have been three or more summertime Exams in which to blood players and work towards the next World Cup. This time, after Scotland chose to go to Japan, there are only two. After Russia, the Eagles must wait to face the Maori in Chicago in November, on the undercard to the All Blacks versus Ireland.
Mitchell in 2003. Photo: David Rogers/ Getty Images
But nothing is ever easy in international rugby and it will not be so against an Italian team also looking to affect a brand-new coach. In May, after selecting his first touring party, OShea had texts for his new actors who are able to evenly apply to those now answering to Mitchell.
I dont think its about winning mentality, he said. Its about not accepting demolish. The best actors are the people who can cope with trouble, whove come back from misery, who are never ready to accept second. Its about how you greeting when things are tough.
In particular, concepts will be tough without Parisse, a mighty No8 who has acquired 119 caps in 14 times. Asked about ways to exploit any Italian shortcomings that may result, Mitchell is acknowledged that he and his tutors have studied them in Six Nations thoroughly and thought they might administer their musicians. Again, though, he lends academic qualifications.
Were in a similar place in a manner that is with some actors in the Olympic sevens force and with Samu Manoa staying with Toulon. In such status, you look to develop depth. So the focus will be very much on ourselves.
USA : Holder; Ngwenya, Palamo, S Suniula, Scully; MacGinty, Augspurger; Lamositele, Hilterbrand, Baumann, Brakeley, Peterson, Duratalo, Clever( capt ), Dolan. Replacements : Taufetee, Tarr, MacLellan, Higgins, Lamborn, Tomasin, London, Teo. Italy : McLean; Sarto, Campagnaro, Castello, Odiete; Canna, Gori( capt ), Lovotti, Gega, Cittadini, Geldenhuys, Fuser, Barbieri, Favaro, Van Schalkwyk. Permutation : Fabiani, Panico, Ceccarelli, Bernabo, Mbanda, Palazzani, Allan, Venditti. Referee : M van der Westhuizen( South Africa ).
TV : The Rugby Channel, 9pm ET; Replay: CBS Sports Network, Sunday, 9pm ET
The post John Mitchell preserves it real as US Eagles face Italy team missing Parisse and more appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
from WordPress http://ift.tt/2BTrArl via IFTTT
0 notes
toddpbrunswick · 7 years
Text
Another day another..whatever
Days without incident: 31/p>
I got to thirty one days all. Im doin this and im doing it well and guess what. I get that curve ball. I get the whole someone i love is about to be taken by the all mighty. I mean we all are, such is the nature of life. Despite that, i can’t help but feel like this is just punishment or torture or just wrong. I am angry, i am sad, i am so many thing right now and whats worse is i cant tell anyone. Im scared to tell anyone, im scared to let things out, because people fucking bail before the tough gets over. They fucking dip. They fucking push me into some random corner. Its infuriating, i just want someone to tell me to will be okay, someone who would stay long enough to see the light i can bring. Fuck me man i dont know what to do. I dunno what to say. I miss those people whove already left..i miss them so much.. It hurts.. I dunno what i am to do..
0 notes
exotahu · 4 years
Text
Bronycon 2019 “THE END”
Okay so... I kinda procrastinated on putting this out. I wrote the shell right after the con but only now finished it for posting. I don’t use tumblr much anymore but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to put this. Here is my rundown of the 2019 Bronycon. As per usual, this was written in pieces over time and might be a bit of a mess. I’m not the most coherent person when it comes to writing this sort of thing. So for one final time, Here we go. I apologize if tumblr breaks it all. 
Wednesday
The power went out as I was getting ready to leave. I had everything pretty well prepared ahead of time this time.
 I was super stressed about things going wrong and of fucking shit up actually helped me get my shit together. Still thought, I left the goddamn pop-tarts behind I had bought to have cheap easy breakfasts, but oh well, wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. Left a little bit later than planned but, we weren't too terribly late either despite all this, and we got to Baltimore in good time. Made a couple stops a long the way. Found a nowhere gas station with a super yikes level sticker display next to a rack of GFT comics. Place sure had an aura about it that did not suit my pastel-horse ribbon wearing shenanigans. Made another stop and bought some twisted tea tall boys that I never ended up drinking at some other rando gas station. Made another stop at the Speedway that was a Hess and got some hot dogs. The one with the M&T next to it, that I've stopped at almost every time I've gone down. It’s dumb, but I’m gonna miss that spot. Some of these places, though dumb and random to anyone else, have memories. Like sitting on the hood of my Geo just shooting the shit with friends on the way to Otakon, or my first solo trip where I unintentionally scared the shit outta my parents cause I accidently made them think I was on the wrong side of the state or how I always took the wrong turn and had to use a middle school parking lot to turn around. Recorded a bunch with my phone cause its gonna be a long time until I’m back to some of these places. Little videos or pictures for nostalgic purposes. Made it into the hotel. No issues with the weirdness with the room reservation, thank god. (I had to do some nonsense with having two reservations and rewards points and stuff due to not getting Sunday night in the con block) Pre-reg was starting at 6 and going until late some time so we did other stuff instead. We went to Tir na Nog for dinner and hung out in the inner harbor, went to Barnes and Noble then the ice cream place. Just some of the staples of hanging out in the Inner Harbor. Went to CVS and I bought some more pop-tarts to replace the ones I left at home. Then we went to pre-reg to pick up badges. Line was pretty huge at the start when we walked past to go get dinner, figured it’d get smaller over time, but holy fuck it didn’t. Pretty sure they had no idea that many people were going to show up which was unfortunately a pretty accurate descriptor of the whole weekend tbh. We waited in line for like two hours, but it went fast enough and was kinda fun. Lots of songs being sung and merriment, especially for a two hour line. A bunch of people asked me about my digital badge or goggles. It’s funny how often the answer to “Where did you get those” is so often “Here a couple years ago” or “Otakon, a whole bunch of year ago”. A 4th of all the people registered showed up supposedly. So many people showed up that they capped line but we were already in. Not much to do after so we went back to the hotel for sleep. Got to bed Pretty early. The bar trot wasn't this night so we just went back. Got a great night of sleep sleeping on a mattress that wasn't butt, almost 8 hours. I wish my mattress at home was as good as this hotel one.
 Thursday
 Today was the bonus day. There wasn't much going on con-wise, which was fine. It was good to just relax and wander. I got to meet up with a friend from a discord server I'm in. Wandered around a while and took pictures. Also met up with someone who is actually from Baltimore but is moving to Syracuse (and only like a couple days after the con) Waited for vendor hall to open and hung out as a group for a while. There was a big line to get into vendor. It was in a weird spot this time, inside of the harmony plaza and not its own space. Bought a KDA Akali mask but mostly just did a scope out. The vendor was packed. A little more cramped due to the limited space. It was a little hard to move. Couldn’t maintain unit cohesion. Learned the layout though and where most of the vendors were. Got to briefly see a few other cool people from that Discord sever. Planned to do most of my buying, but Justin lost his hotel key (always get spares), had to go let him in the room. On the way back I did a Rayquaza raid with a couple friends. Me and Josh forgot we were one day away from best friends in game and that raids count towards the daily interaction so we didn't pop a lucky egg, whoops. Ate at Jimmy Johns before going to meet up for opening. Unfortunately, Opening got capped due to space. The BCC got shared with a Rubix cube competition so we only had half the space because I don't think they planned on having their highest attendance ever at over 10k people. We didn't have the top floor big hall so the Mane Hall was in where palooza was and it's certainly not sized to hold that many people. This would be a difficulty the whole weekend. I got back into the Harmony Plaza/Vendor Hall. They were livestreaming the Mane Hall, so the staff set up a huge monitor in Harmony Plaza to watch it sorta live. It was pretty emotional. Even the BCC president showed up and said we should keep going. That was a little rough. Then they did something neat. They got Gilbert Gottfried to sing/read This Day Aria. Everyone in the room went bananas. It was hilarious. I met back up with everyone at the hotel and we headed to the bars. Part of our group went to a ramen place they all like. There wasn't enough space for all of us without waiting an forever, so me and Justin just went to the bars. I started drinking at the Dogs Watch. They didn't have any pony themed drinks but there were pony decorations and music playing. It's a nice atmosphere, it's a bit hard to explain, being in an alcohol establishment with music from a colorful pastel horse show playing. I had 3 vodka cranberries. Met back with everyone and went to The Admiral. They had almost no Trixie left, but still enough for me to have one. And I fucking did it, I got the recipe or at the very least I know the materials. Had some of the other drinks too. There was a Pinkie, Twilight and I believe Tempest? The bartender used Champagne for the Pinkie themed drink because it was the last Bronycon. I had a bunch of those, a couple of the others, then a mix of everything. Everyone in our group went back in groups. Me, Sam and Cody were the last ones in our group. Met up with some cool people. One of the guys ordered a Vodka shot for everyone, and then a Tequila shot. After that before I left I thanked the bartender one more time for all he's done to make the bar one of the highlights of our yearly trip and all the cool theme drinks. (Seriously, if you're ever in Baltimore and drink alcohol, go to Fells Point. Find the Admiral Fell Inn, it's a little underground bar and it is AMAZING, and the bartender is a really cool guy.) Our newly formed group left. We didn't want to walk all the way back to our hotels drunk, which funny enough were all next to each other so we summoned a Lyft. While waiting we took a group selfie. We took two, Cody was missing from the first one and then Sam was missing from the other. Plus there was a random guy in both of them we didn't know who it was. THey were seconds apart and I still don't know how that happened. I got a selfie in front of a lingerie shop which amused drunk me greatly. The Lyft came and we all got in, Don't Stop Believing started playing and we all started singing along. It was a good ride back. We got back and me and one other person decided hey, Palooza is still going, lets go. Met up with a fursuiter on the way. Got to catch the last couple acts. It’s a hell of a time drunk. I could feel the soles of my feet vibrating. I had a blast and then went back to the hotel after it ended. Got to bed at like 3. It's fun to stay up doing the late things but it makes it hard to do early things.
  Friday
 I tried to get up early so I could get there earlier to get one of Baron's commission slots. Alcohol didn't cause many problems outside of a minor headache and mild plumbing problems. Still slowed me down a little. Surprisingly not really hung over aside from that, despite how much I drank. Drink water everybody, it really does help. I went to the con and got into vendor hall. I bought some stuff. I got a Soarin' daki, a game for a friend, among some other things. I bought some original art from Baron too. Didn't get there in time for a commission though. Went to the comic vendor and bought my comics. I'm only missing a couple now. Ended up getting into the line for Whoves Line almost on accident. Got in with no issues, which was cool. It’s good fun, they put on a good show. There was a proposal too which was neat, especially how they did it. Dropped stuff off at the hotel. Went to meet up with our other group and got to see the other hotel we’ve never stayed in. It's fancy af. Our group went to Bubba Gumps and I went in. I figured if it's gonna be my last time here for a very long time I was gonna do it big. Someone jokingly said I should get two Shrimper's Heavens. And then I did it, plus my usual shrimp cocktail. The Great Shrimp Massacre of 2019. Also discovered that their cheese sticks are fuckin massive and I wish I had known. I got a bunch of them that the others couldn't eat. I ate all of that. I did it big. Plumbing didn’t even break. Dropped 100$ at once. It's the most I have very spent on one restaurant trip. I don’t think I’ll be doing that again, but hey, for the final BronyCon that's kinda the point isn't it? We went to ice cream place. (Okay so I don't eat ice cream but they sell some really good tea) Then we went to the Palooza. Forgot to change my socks. Knee-high stockings no good for rave as I discovered. Vylet’s set was absolutely fantastic. (I mean all the acts were great, but she’s a favorite). Also got to see the secret guest whose name was obscured the whole time. I knew who I wanted it to be, and it was. Garnika came back for one more and played a wonderful set. Like usual we stayed the whole thing. It’s so much fun despite knowing waking up will be hard cause I’ll only get like 4 sleep. There is like this odd sense of dread knowing the effect the late night is going to have on you, but you stay anyway because there is such an energy you can't pull yourself away from.
  Saturday
Once again I tried to get up early to get a commission slot form Baron. Didn’t end up making it, however, he said he’d do it anyway, and mail it out. (I'm referring to Baron Engel, he's an artist I really like, go look him up!) It's a picture of Fluttershy dressed as Jotaro from JJBA. I've gotten it now and it's really good! I bought more stuff, including another daki that Kyle and Josh jokingly pointed out to me. Didn't think I was going to, but I couldn't turn down the price the guy gave me. I lined up for VA panel script reading. It was an EqG script about the cast graduating and the Celestias swapping places and causing chaos. It was not so subtly about the end of the con. I started to tear up. I realized that was gonna be a common theme throughout the weekend, I fuckin knew it. I do not like crying, especially in public. The closer we got to the end the worse it got. Ran into the cosplay photoshoot which was neat, and there was another proposal. After that I made a hotel deposit and got some Jimmy Johns, and then went to anthology panel. Because of course it was, Gardevoir community day was the same weekend as the con. I bought a new Pokemon+ thing that does it automatically, so I still got to play despite being in a panel or in line for most of it. It was alright. Anthology was great (and holy shit a little raunchier than usual), But then at the end they told us that it was actually longer and they had to cut it for time. (To which I call bullshit, any additional content I’ve seen was far too explicit for the actual con, lul). Went to the Palooza for one final time. I remembered to change my socks this time. Saw Black Gryph0n and Michelle Creber, and then the super band made up of a large variety of fandom musicians. It was really cool. Even got to hear an orchestral performance of one of 4everfree's songs which is something I've not seen them do before. Things ran a little long and it threw the schedule off a bunch. 2 AM hit and Eruobeat hadn't gone yet. (2 is usually when we have to leave by) But Eurobeat did get to do his set despite this because whoever was in charge decided to be cool. "We're suposed to be out by 2, but its 2 and Eurobeat has to play still. We can stay for this but, but when it’s over I'm gonna need y’all to get the fuck out.” And then Eurobeat performed he was one of the first fandom musicians and one of the first to perform at the original BronyPalooza. And of course, for his final song, he performed his 2019 version of Discord. The whole fuckin' room went nuts. It was nothing short of magical. It was the perfect way to end it, the final Bronypalooza. The energy in the room was insane. Bronypalooza was always one of my favorite parts of the con. I’m told other EDM concerts are crazier, but I don’t know if I want crazier. There was something absolutely magical about a room full of all different kinds of people losing their shit to pastel horse based music waving dakis and plushies and some in full fursuit and some in cosplay and some in plain clothes and every kinda nonsense you can imagine. Just rocking out and having a good time. It's an experience and a kind of magic that I don’t know what will ever be able to compare. I'll never forget it.
 Sunday
THE FINAL DAY. I switched over reservations with no issues and went to the con. Ended up mostly wandering around the vendor hall yeeting money away before lining up for closing. I recorded a bunch of wandering around. There was a Bronycon memorial shrine that was set up too that people had left all sorts of crazy stuff at too. I bought some random but cool stuff. I also commissioned a badge of my pony character! (Better late than never huh?) Was gonna buy a couple things but ended up not. I ran into Vylet wandering the vendor hall! Got a picture with her and Namii!. Lined up for closing, which turned into a bit of a clusterfuck. It got capped again due to room. In the clusterfuck I was able to meet back up with Andy, Sam, and Justin. However while in line I got to see a whole bunch of con staff set up huge monitors to stream it to the overflow room so as many people as possible can see it. It was... very emotional, was pretty much just sobbing in a whole room full of people. Got a conclusion to the mascot storyline too. I never want to forget how I feel after these things. Walking out of the con center for the last time was fucking surreal. I've been there so many times. I remember being confused by the layout the first couple times and by the end, I had the whole thing memorized. (Okay, I couldn't remember lobby names for shit, but I knew where it all was.) I cried a whole bunch as we all walked out together reminiscing. We sat in the hotel room as a group just kinda being sad and reminiscing and decompressing for a little while. Then we went to a bar after party event things in a place I’d never been. It was a pretty relaxing atmosphere. Instead of being in the bar we sat outside on these sofa things on the deck rather than watching the concert on the inside (But hoenstly it was so loud you could hear it well enough). A lot of the non-EDM rock musicians there. It was honestly really nice sitting there under the open sky just listening to music. Feeling the sunset while the city lights get brighter and the sky fades to dark was nice. I checked Pokemon Go since I had my automatic bracelet thing doing it's thing, turns out I caught a random Shiny Alolan Geodude. I nicknamed it the Bronycon Memorial Rock, it's a Golem now. Had some shots too. After a while we went back to the hotel. We decided to do a Insomnia Cookie order, since it went so well last year. And oh was it a clusterfuck. So we made our order. I forgot to mention that we were in a hotel so I called them and they said they'd call us when they got there and that I would come down. Roughly 15 minutes later, the call came. I said I'd be down. I went to the lobby and found a delivery man with a white box. He comes up to me and asks me if I was the one that ordered pizza. Nope, wasn't me. He got a little frustrated but continued to wait for his people. No cookie delivery guy. I call him back. This was basically the convo: "Hello, I'm down in the lobby but I can't find you" "Wait, it wasn't you that picked up the cookies?" "No I just got here, there is a confused pizza man down here though." (I should note that they're both white square boxes) "Oh fuck I'm so sorry I gave it to the wrong person we'll remake your order and come back" "No problem man, it happens to the best of us, I'll just wait down in the lobby this time" I repeated the order, he apologized and hung up. The pizza guy just left the pizza with the front desk. I saw that they still had the menus up for the pony themed alcohol so I ordered an Applejack(Apple brandy, hard cider and ice). Accidentally ended up calling another friend trying to call the cookie guy back who also happened to be at a bar back home and had a chat about what we were drinking/doing so that was cool. Eventually the cookie guy came back and we had cookies. Then everyone wanted pizza. Yet another clusterfuck occurred, turns out they ran out of dough or something so after like a half hour wait, we got our money back. After that we just went to sleep.
  Monday
We packed everything up and loaded the car when we got up. Then we decided to have one last day in the inner harbor. We went to Tir Na Nog as a big group for one last time, then headed to the aquarium. The aquarium is nifty. I like to watch the jellyfish. They're so goddamn relaxing. Even one of the employees said the same thing. We left and took a group picture in the harbor before finally heading back. Once again, leaving was a bit sombre, there was just such a finality to it, walking past the BCC down Pratt St. After hanging out in the hotel lobby for a little bit, we got on the road to home. During the ride back, It ended up coming up why the area is significant to me and why I wanted to do certain things and why this whole crazy thing started in the first place. I never really bring it up, but it felt kinda good to talk about it. It was a relatively uneventful ride home. We stopped at a McDonalds at some point. Got home, unpacked and crashed, feeling exhausted from the weekend.  
  Conclusion:
 Yeah it's no secret I procrastinated writing/finishing this for a couple months. I guess I just didn't want to deal with it being over. I've mentioned before that this con and the surrounding area is pretty important to me. A yearly tradition that I looked forward to and saved for. I had gone to Otakon almost every year between 2006-2012. Once I realized interest in Otakon had waned, I got kinda sad, but then something wild happened. Bronycon announced they were moving down to a new location. The Baltimore Inner Harbor in the BCC. I had been talking with a couple friends about going to the next Bronycon and that absolutely cemented it. That was 2013. Then in 2014, I was contacted by some guy my dad worked with who was wondering if I had intended to go the next year. That's how I met Andy. I made a bunch of friends through the con/show and reconnected with old ones too. I made sure to go down every year since. Aside from 2010, I've gone to the Baltimore Inner Harbor every year since 06. It's gonna be hard knowing I won't be back there for a while most likely. I've got a bunch of memories down here across many years. I know this has been totally disjointed because I'm writing it months later, coming off the MLP series finale, so I'm feeling some feels. I think that's part of why I decided to finish it now. I've said for a while that Bronycon was one of the best conventions I've ever attended. The atmosphere was something unique and magical. I don't think I could ever describe it properly. I don't think I'll ever find anything that quite captures the magic, but one thing is sure, I'm never gonna forget the times we've had here. It really has been magic.
0 notes