#i miss people so much right now

[agrebel18]

friendly reminder that the hexsquad was initiated because of three kids of color who found love and acceptance in each other after being considered ‘freaks’ especially adding that they all got mistreaten by the very limiting school system

#and they’re all VERY neurodivergent coded people (luz more than the other two but still) #and luz and Willow are canonically queer plus I think Gus is too #i love amity and hunter ESPECIALLY after they joined the squad but I’m feeling the nostalgia right now #anyways. their friendship means so much to me <3 #I’m missing them right now #willow park #luz noceda #gus porter #hexsquad #hextrio #toh #the owl house #og hexsquad

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[flowerytale]

me: haven't posted regularly for a while. also me: convinced that everyone on this site hates me for this reason. the whole world: *barely noticed I ever existed *

#still not sure about this #the way I miss this site but also I feel like I don't have nothing to say anymore #even use others people beautiful words it's difficult right now #I don't know what I feel #It's like I have so many words inside myself and they are trying to come out in some way but it's too much all in once #so in the end they are useless and incomprehensible #I'm very chaotic even while I try to explain my feelings #I'm so sorry #ignore me

[scrawnytreedemon]

While I intend this blog to remain a largely news-free space due to the constant hellstate of the world, let me be clear that I stand in full support of both the Palestinian and Jewish peoples who are currently experiencing relentless hate and suffering in these horrid times.

I am disgusted at the number of people, especially "progressives" on this website who have used this situation to spread both Islamophobia and Antisemitism. This goes double if you dared to reblog those "punch nazis/fascists <3" and "[x] are welcome here!" posts while in the next breath spreading dangerous fucking narratives that kill people.

So many people in online political spaces evidently see this as nothing more than a case of picking "sides", when ultimately what matters is supporting the oppressed against fascist governments and militias, wherever they are.

Common people will always have more alike with each other than their leaders. This is not a novel concept. Your activism should always be motivated by love and compassion first, and hatred second. If you use your beliefs as an excuse to find an acceptable target to vent your hatred towards regardless of the actual material outcome, you are no fucking activist.

You're a bigot.

#current events #antisemitism #islamophobia #scrawny rambles #scrawny speaks #again i have not been saying much both for the fact that this blog is meant to be a quiet place #and that i do not consider myself to be a reliable source of serious information and/or morals #but regardless i have been watching i have been taking note #i see you i hear you #and while i am currently in no position to materially help right now #the moment i can i will #i don't like signalling this kind of thing because i want it to be evident in how i *act* #but as this cannot be taken as a given i will say this: #you are welcome here. i am so sorry the world is hateful and vile and i wish i could wipe it all away. #you and your folk did nothing to deserve this and you are right to be scared. and i wish to give you my love. #fascism and genocide are not things to be taken lightly. bigoted 'jokes' are vile and dangerous. human life is what's at stake. #we are heading into a wave of hate that has the potential to repeat history in the worst way imaginable. get a fucking grip. #i'm unlikely to address this further as again. reasons stated above. but i wanted to make my stance clear. #it is late as fuck and i'm pissed. people who should know better miss the fucking memo completely. #i'm fucking glad i unfollowed a popular blogger when i did because look what they're posting now. antisemetic 'jokes'. #i really wonder how common this shit truly is. how many people get away with cloaking themselves as 'progressive.' #or perhaps they genuinely think they are. cognitive dissonance is one hell of a drug. fuck them regardless. scum. #you are no progressive. you are a bigot. a leftist bigot is a bigot regardless of how 'revolutionary' you posture to be. #anyhow apologies for any errors. again. it's late. hope you guys are doing well <3

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be a very specific experience, but I think a huge reason I didn't even realize or even want to be bisexual was specifically because of this intersection of my manhood and the way it's viewed

There's this toxic merry-go-round I find myself riding where I am so desperate to not be one of those guys to a woman that it winds up being an inability to connect to women* because of this hyperpolicing I end up doing. For the longest time, I repressed myself because of this impulse, and I find it interesting. It's interesting seeing how this aspect of patriarchy impact me in such a way that I was too afraid of myself and the people around me.

As a trans man, I felt the pressure to prove both that I'm not one of those men, but also, that I wasn't this predatory trans man, that anything I did was in service to proving why I should (or should not) continue to exist. Simultaneously, I am both not a man, but also a predatory man because of my transness, a threat to be contained. I felt this before as somebody who is multisexual, but it somehow affects me more in the aspect of how I interact with women* and womanhood* from the outside.

There isn't an overarching theme to this post, a message about what you can do. It's mostly reflecting on my experiences and thinking about where my impulse to think myself as guilty until proven innocent plays into how I've started viewing myself. I don't want to overgeneralize, but I've seen this expressed by many a trans man*.

#trans #transgender #bi #bisexual #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #internalized transphobia #internalized queerphobia #i definitely had to work through ingernalized homophobia but i have been actively trying to combat that so it isn't ALWAYS a problem #and i of course get why this is also not good - i think it's a reminder that (though it looks different) patriarchy hurts ALL of us #i'm not saying that my experiences are the same as everybody else - but i do notice this transphobic narrative around my fellow (trans) man #for the longest i didn't /want/ to be bi+ because it felt like i was addong another layer of respectability... #...like in my mind it was bad enough being gay and trans but adding another group of people who'd be forced to see me? miss me with that #that was my thought process in it all because i have had so much transphobic rhetoric regurgitated at me that it just got hard to resist #and that's a shameful thing - to admit that you're Struggling and it is Not Pretty #so i think that's part of why i decided to talk about this. i think it's a wound some people have learned to hide but not treat #massive déjà vu right now because i feel like this So Often. some days are better than others but it's hard to soldier through

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

i need like a group therapy session where we just all collectivly cry and talk about watching and dreaming and the fact that its been a year already because you dont understand. the utter impact toh had to my life, to my existence, to everything i am.

i literally came out, met so many people because of the show, found so much content thats utterly beautiful and just all that to say that these characters mean SO SO SO fucking much to me and everytime i hear the "byeee" i just want to start crying- SAME with the timeskip song. i just miss them all so much. everyone who worked and made it possible is just so talented and i am so utterly happy that a show like the owl house exists for those like me and the younger people. especially young queer people. the fact that kids are going to grow up now with a show like that- see wlw in a piece of media. have nonbinary characters that are normalized and not simply characters that are "oh theyre nonbinary!" <- they have literal characteristic qualities that make them fundamentally unique on all sides.

having a show that deals with such themes as it does, dana you are amazing and while yeah disney fucked us all over with the shorting you & crew literally handled that s3 with such grace that tied everything up as best as you could. DESPITE THE BULLSHIT IT STILL WAS AMAZING AND YOU ENDED IT WELL ENOUGH TO HAVE US FANS WANT MORE.

there are still so many questions i have about the lore but nothing.. NOTHING will ever be as life changing as toh was to me.

#sorry im literally just word dumping and watching that live made me want to cry bc i miss toh so much #im rly happy to have found it and have met such a wonderful group of people. im so glad toh exists. #and words cannot express everything i want to say but im really just in my feelings right now

[ramshitposts]

Drives me insane how everytime someone posts a then vs now comparison of dsmp streamers half the comments are like "ough ranboo glow down" "the Karl effect got to ranboo" and other shite like that and. dude.

Like it's embarrassing enough to act like that towards anyone but on top of acting like a child they're also admitting they have the worst gaydar known to man.

#people were surprised when ranboo came out? both times? #we both watched the same guy right #“lemon demon fan uses he/they pronouns” fork found in the kitchen. #also its so silly when people say “i miss the old ranboo” like theyre obviously happier and much more comfortable in themselves now? #anyway rant over #i may move on from the dsmp but i fear ill alwayd be a boober #dsmp #ranboo #ranboo live #mcyt

[completeoveranalysis]

[5]

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT 

The undercurrent of their goodbye finally comes to the surface and Kurogane doesn’t apologise or say he’s conflicted or anything else, he just outright says that he’s going but that he’ll be back. And he’s even going to prove his loyalty by reswearing his oath to her. 

Which means that Fai’s oath to Sakura was a direct parallel to Kurogane’s oath to Tomoyo all this time AHH

WAIT

WAIT A MOMENT HERE

WAS I RIGHT?

WAS I RIGHT ALL THIS TIME

NO FUCKING WAY LET ME FIND THAT POST

I can’t even remember when else I might have talked about this crack theory (PRESUMED CRACK THEORY) but here’s a post of me talking about it back in 2019

And you can SEE how at THAT point I was talking myself out of it and was already saying that I was reading too much into the moment after all. 

ARE WE NOW SAYING THAT I WAS ACTUALLY CORRECT THE FIRST TIME??

HOW THE TURN TABLES?????

#I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS??? #I missed the onscreen explanation about the sword #BUT I GOT THE NAME THING???? #How do people even READ this liveblog jfc #Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 182 #Tomoyo #Kurogane #Sorry - ‘kurogane’ #I have so much to say about this #If you listen really close you can hear me screaming in the distance RIGHT NOW

[akimojo]

people love to use ffxiii’s messy development as a reason to completely shit on the game but honestly the fact they managed to sneak in so many little details in the gameplay in a way that reflects the characters and story despite all the miscommunication between the dev sections is just impressive to me

#was xiii horribly planned out and missed out on a lot of important feedback because of the poor time management? absolutely #does that mean you cant be impressed with what the game achieved regardless of whether you liked it or not? fuck no #also the fact theres next to no bugs (not counting the pc port because... yeah) is amazing all things considered #and the graphics still hold up to this day #the linearity is everyones main issue with the game but look at x dude #x was linear as hell too but it makes sense bc yuna had a pilgrimage to follow #just as how it makes sense for the xiii cast to not have time to stop and explore cocoon while they were being hunted by the government #thats why you have so much more freedom to explore when youre on pulse #theres not even anything objectively wrong with having a game be linear in the first place #and the people complaining about the story being ''incoherent'' are just... wrong? #they give you enough hints within the dialogue to piece the story together yourself while also not leaning on exposition dumps to tell it #and if you cant do that then the datalogs are right THERE #games have relied on ''notes'' to tell parts of their story for ages now and i dont understand why its suddenly bad when xiii does it #i dont like sitting through exposition dumps and i like being able to analyse and theorize about a plot WHILE im experiencing it #and a lot of other people feel the same way so its not an objectively bad aspect of the game's storytelling #you just need to pay attention and be patient and wait for the story to unfold #i went off the rails but ANYWAY #aki stfu #final fantasy xiii

[cadaverkeys]

I understand that people are just trying to comfort me, of course I understand. But I sometimes feel that a resiliently happy and tenaciously optimistic personality aren't all that welcome when I'm going through a lot of grief. I don't know if I'm really "ready" to feel better. If that even makes sense. I feel like my body hasn't really processed everything that's happened and it's more effort to tell my friends to stop trying to put bandages on me than it would be to just pretend I was okay again and just grieve in private. I'm not sure what to do with it just yet ig :/

#rambles #i dont normally put like...vent type thoughts on my blog but i genuinely dont know what to think rn #im having trouble talking about my feelings on grief with people one to one bc of aforementioned optimism #my friend died recently and I dont know what to do w myself #i have so much responsibilities right now bc I'm graduating soon #and i have a lot of people relying on me to get my work done #it feels rude to him and his memory that im not missing a beat to sit and think of him #I'm just having to get back to it and put off his death until I have the time for it #i know that's so bleak but it's where I'm at rn #not sure how to trigger tag this? #bereavement #death

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

i am LOSING my gd mind with Shadow and Bone I swear.

Just watched an episode where the crows are poisoned and all of them dream about their trauma/worst fears except Show!Inej who's only personality trait is liking Kaz ig. And then Tolya finally remembers that Wylan is outside like, 6 hours after they've been poisoned, and calls out to him. Wylan finally realises something is wrong and goes over to the door and makes a little hole in it so Inej can be like "Wylan we're poisoned" and Wylan is like ohhhh there are like 6 rare butterflies outside here for some reason and it turns out they are the exact antidote you need to cure you from the poison! Like they're SO rare that I've never seen one before, but it turns out that the only antidote to the poison that all of you have been affected with is THESE butterflies and we happen to have the EXACT number of them for EACH of you to be cured!!

And they eat the butterflies. They eat some fucking butterflies and they are cured from the poison. That's the plot of the show that's based on my favourite book series, Six of Crows. That's what the writers thought was a SMART and interesting scene to have, and one they believed did justice to the book and the characters. I want to kill everyone at Netflix

#shadow and bone #anti shadow and bone #am I drunk #am I tripping #did I seriously just watch this with my own two eyes what the FUCK #listen people who actually like this show PLEASE explain to me what is appealing about this #because it's like they took a big fat dump on a book series I love #that's what it feels like right now #i hate this so fucking much I've just been internally screaming for the last 3 hours #also what the fuck is up with Mal being the firebird all along #i'm sure that was in the books because otherwise how absurd is that as a plot twist #but there were NO hints to that????? #like did I miss something or did that come out of left field

[wigglys-dikrats]

why do meredith’s starkid vlogs make me cry

#is it because i miss doing theatre ? possibly #it is because these people have been friends for over 15 years and still love each other so much and i miss having connections like that ? #yep. #i miss my friends #i don’t have any irl friends i talk to anymore #i wanna do theatre again #idk i’m in a weird spot mentally right now ig lol #anyway #meredith stepien #vhscc #vhsccs #vhs christmas carol #vhs christmas carols #vlogs #youtube #starkid #team starkid #my post

[reamed]

ya know what I’m deciding not to give a shit if my job doesn’t like me missing work bcuz I’m in agonizing pain

#txt #it is what it is #fuck it we ball #like idk what else to do #and it really erks me that my boss thinks she has the right to tell me I need to go to the doctor #because bitch I’ve been all my life I’ve been misdiagnosed with stomach viruses utis and it’s never that #I’m not risking being misdiagnosed again. I’m waiting for my gyno appointment bcuz it has fucking everything to do with my period/reproduct #REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS #like hire more people if it’s such a loss when I’m gone ?????? #don’t fucking text me telling me that “As a mom I’d tell my kid to go to the doctor😇 as if my parents aren’t fully aware of the pain I’m in #and have been fully aware since I was 10 years old #I know what’s going on bitch I don’t need to waste money at a walk in clinic for them to tell me I have a uti or my stomach is just hurting #u think jus fucking about with this shit. no I plan for this every month. usually it’s not terrible. this month has been hell #there’s nothing I can do to avoid it. I take meds and they barely do anything #i deserve to rest bcuz I’ve been busting my ass this year and last through this pain #i can afford to miss a few days off work. sorry yall can’t #I’m sorry for ranting this had jus been an issue my whole life. they used to grill me as a kid at school for missing #and it reminds me of that so much and it makes me feel like a child again #being told It’s JuSt period CrAmpS just TakE medicine #meanwhile I’m literally puking from pain #meanwhile my insides feel like they are blistering and on fire and my lower body is being yanked to the floor #ok sowwy I’m gonna go cry about it now

[atissi]

if you are 1) currently in a university where your student healthcare covers hormone therapy, and 2) in a good financial, emotional, and social position to start hormone therapy, i would recommend pursuing it. because in my experience, it's a huge pain in the ass to get an endocrinologist once you're on your own

#unless you live near a planned parenthood or another equivalent to that #but in general you might as well take advantage of the mandatory student health insurance while you have it #it's also cheaper than you might expect. my vials cost $40 CAD for 4 months and then the injection materials are like a couple dollars each #for me i got a therapist with the university and asked them to recommend me to one of the uni's doctors #so i got to skip some of the waitlisting process yay #and then even after getting access to hormones i went to the clinic maybe 5 or 6 times because i needed a nurse to help me with injections #all of which was 'free' because it was with the university #now that i'm graduated though i need to find a new endocrinologist and it turns out the process is WAY more complicated on your own 🤡 #of course your mileage may vary depending on how based your school is but it's definitely worth checking imo 🤷 #beepbeep.txt #wanted to say this because i basically didn't use the uni health services until my last year and i was like 'wow #'i'm actually getting so much shit for free right now' #like i was seeing a therapist and a dietician and the endocrinologist and a nurse simultaneously at one point #and i might've missed out on all that if i didn't have someone tell me how easy it was to get help if you ask the right questions #so there's my word of wisdom for anyone who might benefit from it....... #also going to post tips about injections later because i think that would also help people out 👍

[nerdyqueerr]

NEWSIES FOREVER BTW

#ONCE SPOT CONLON ALWAYS SPOT CONLON #in my theater kid hours again #god. can u believe its been FIVE years since i did newsies #my old dance director keeps going ''not true youre 12'' lmao. sorry girl #and i got to see a bunch of my old theater crew aaaaa #and sit on the greenroom floor after the show listening to everyone talk nonsense bc of how exhausted they were #ALSO JACK KELLY TBOY SWAG #my company will see a trans man and go hey. play jack kelly right now #fuuuuck i miss theater!! i miss it for real i miss these people so much waugh!!!!!! #hamster conversation. my beloved #WHY are hamsters even real. theater kids inquire. #ok im done now 👍 #my shit #newsies

[scalproie]

Domesticated Post-Tekken 2 Era Kazuya is my favorite to think about because this would be so good for him and everyone else but he would have an absolutely miserable time during it

#like I dont think he would REALLY miss the rich ceo lifestyle bc i dont see it as smth he ASPIRES to but as a means to give himself power #if you (jun) somehow manage to convince him that he does not actually NEED power then i think hes adaptable enough to ajust to a humble life #and the whole being rich thing fed into his worst traits #but I think being close to jun all the time would be torture for him bc he would CONSTANTLY be confronted to his own faulty morality #he cant help feeling above other common people bc he endured much more pain and hardships at 5yo than them in a lifestyle- #but he cannot act on his superiority complex about them bc Its Not The Right Thing To Do #he looks at his newborn son and feel *nothing* before feeling frustration and irritation toward *himself* #bc hes smart enough to know he SHOULD be feeling smth #and if he relunctantly admit this to jun she would tell him that if the best he can do (for now) is to not wish or do any harm on jin- #then it is good enough and he should not beat himself up about it (which he doesnt. but he does) #and even jun. she is another person he could lose and he knows deep down he would be happier without her #but being near her bring back to life smth that died years ago at the bottom of that cliff #and he wont admit it but hes scared to lose it again. even if right now its brings him nothing but discomfort and pain #hes not even sure if he *loves* her. and when he asks her whats in it for her. why she stays with him #(not out of self-consciousness but genuine confusion) she just smiles at him because he IS considering the feelings of someone else #like she is so understanding and he genuinely does try and its a really slow healing process #hes still gonna stay a little bit of a prick smug at times but at least he will be immensely more chill out #and even maybe fall in love with jun *jun* down the line. characters that fall in love with each other years into the relationship👍 #and his whole exploration of fatherhood with jin. him vaguely recalling smth nice jinpachi (or god forbid. HEIHACHI pre-cliff) did to him #and doing the same to jin out of the blue for the sake of experimentation #and jin's positive reaction making him FINALLY AT LAST feel some tiny tiny thing for his son. #also for all her tree-hugger talk. jun is right meditating in the forest DOES help kaz a lot #anyway. yeah👍 #tagging later #tekken