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#i miss literally everything ab it
rememberingnoah · 1 year
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does anyone else have a problem making references that you know other people do not understand. like at all. you give zero context about it but ur still like ??? why ur brain not synced with mine
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bone-dyke · 1 month
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i do not want to go to work and deal with my normie vanilla coworkers after jerking it to weird porn and also making my little deer fursona last night. they are anti fur and it’s so grating sometimes. i miss the weirdos from the maryland firm </3
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marlinspirkhall · 6 months
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🪩 Lewisa-watches-THG-2524 follow
District Ten's tribute doesn't deserve to win because she murdered both of district three's tributes at the cornucopia day one in cold blood
🥖 Bread-abs-circuses follow
It's. A death game. The point is literally to murder each other ☠️☠️☠️
🫐 not-president-coin follow
I can't believe some of you are still watching the fucking hunger games after everything that came out about the way they treat tributes in the Capitol after they win
🐦‍⬛ to-kill-a-mockingjay follow
... umm, if it took reading The Finnick Docket for you to realize the hunger games were bad there is NO HOPE for you
🦷 i-steal-teeth follow
why...?
🐦‍⬛ to-kill-a-mockingjay follow
23 children are literally murdered each year???????
🔲 71st-hunger-games-deactivated11082524
yeah but on average, 76% of the tributes signed up for tessera, so they knew what was coming
🗿 Colossus-of-snowdus follow
actually, the tessera statistic has been debunked several times.
❔ avox-anon-deactivated252014092520
You're missing the point, even if the tessera statistic was true then forcing children to sign up for something so they can eat is FUCKED
🗡️ THG-reject-2523 follow
Okay but some of us would literally LOVE to be in the hunger games. I'm from district 2 and I literally wasn't allowed to volunteer as tribute because they had too many volunteers. Not everyone is forced to participate in the hunger games, some of us literally train for it for years. Fighting in the hunger games is a privilege. Remember that.
🗿 Colossus-of-snowdus follow
putting the word privilege up on the banned words shelf until you learn what words mean...
🥖 Bread-abs-circuses follow
@THG-reject-2523 weren't you the tribute who bit the announcer on the ear two years ago ☠️ pretty sure that's why they banned you lmao
🫐 not-president-coin follow
We should be forcing the Capitol children to fight instead
🪩 Lewisa-watches-THG-2524 follow
Oh my god touch grass lmao
🫐 not-president-coin follow
I literally can't
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kissmiya · 4 months
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☆ ❝ 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞? ❞ ⋆ hsr x reader
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synopsis. whenever he wants to taste you so bad ...
warnings. cervix eating, afab!gn!reader, face sitting, dom!character, they/them pronouns are used on reader, squirting (done by reader), overstimulation, fingering
author's note. just finished a documentary on a serial killer then wrote an essay with my own free will
pairings. dan heng, blade, luocha, jing yuan, sampo, welt, caelus x afab!gn!reader / fem!reader (take this however you like because i still use they/them on reader but they're afab :p)
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dan heng is just messy asf, like probably his first time too, never really has had gotten the chance to ever eat anyone out. kind of was too busy to do that. but when you offered, he couldn't help but think of how you'd be straddled atop his chest, and his tongue just went deeper and deeper into your sensitive hole, and honestly would slurp your aftermath all up after with no shame. the loud sounds of him licking up all your cum didn't help the embarassment. but he pushed his thoughts away and finally got you straddled onto his face, and pleasure was all that was on his mind. the taste of your sweet honey just made him wanna indulge so much deeper inside you. your velvety walls clenching around his snake-like tongue was a good enough sign he'd get to taste such sweet bliss again.
type of guy to overstimulate the hell outta you just for all that essence. he has never tasted anything better. probably would finger you while you sit on the motel bed you rented for a few measly 10 thousand credits. becomes so greedy when his mouth is finally latched onto your hole just begging for you to come. after a while of eating you out, he'll just know where your g-spot is, would go so far to even say his tongue memorized it, and the taste. and he just can't get enough of it. and after everyday as your trailblazing mission is ongoing, whether you'd be away from him at the moment or just right beside him, he already misses you and your pussy so much :(
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caelus is def a big sweetheart about it. even though you think he wouldn't be the one to ask, he would. "hey i've been a little stressed lately, can you.. sit on my face and let me treat you right?", and can't help but be a little messy with it, when you finally are on top of him. your hole is right there, wet and ready for him. he's still so blushy, shy and nervous about it. but as soon as he gets a taste of such bliss, he can't help but get more, and more, and more. as soon as he felt your cum on his tongue he couldn't help but want more! he doesn't mean to overstimulate you :(( he just wants more of that tasty sweetness!
does it after trailblazing missions specifically, his thoughts do lowkey get to him while on the job, probably jerked off to the idea of eating you out, or you giving him a blowjob, but that's another story, for another day, not tomorrow, not the day after, some day. anyways, he definitely likes the idea of doing it publicly, the adrenaline of someone catching you in the bathroom with your boyfriend's mouth filled with lust and hunger, he'd keep going if that ever happened, literally just wants everything we can harvest out of you. at first he does like to tease with a bit of fingering and kitty licks while you're blindfolded. your thighs slowly choking him is such a relieving feeling to him, he can't wait to feel that exotic bliss on his tongue.
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cw: public-ish sex
sampo will not hesitate to tease the living hell out of you, does it everyday, and any day. and is not shameful at all, will ask you to sit on his face with confidence. after all the teasing is over though he will be messy with it. lowkey wants you to fuck his face with your pussy slowly because it feels that good. his nose literally covered in your wetness because of how deep his tongue is in, or how your forcing his face to get closer, as you're ab to cum!! also the kind of guy to finger you while he eats you out.
loves doing it in an alleyway in belobog especially. just indulging the hell outta your pussy while others just watch as he marks what's clearly his. his gloved finger so deep inside you, so deep inside your pussy and he just had to have such long and slender fingers, as he kept licking your blushing clit, and he couldn't help but moan into your pussy too <33 the vibrations just sent all the more pleasure into you. after that, he'll forcibly grab your thighs and put them atop his shoulders as he also sat you down on 2 small boxes stack on each other and eats you out even more. not afraid at all to overstim your poor hole. but how can he resist such ethereal tasting bliss of yours? it tasted so good he just couldn't get enough!
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welt is very straightforward. only word that comes to mind, no shame, maybe a bit, but will ask you himself with pleasure to ask you to sit ontop of his face, or at least just let him eat you out. he's been so stressed after that trailblazing mission.. he's just gotta eat somethingg.... and you can't deny him forever so one thing led to another, he's ravaging in the taste of your hole, god.. why was it just so fucking addicting? the sticky taste of the sweet little honey you produced made him wanna cum, he is indeed stroking his cock as he eats you out, he's just that kind of guy!!
more into doing it in private, prefers that only he hears how good his tongue makes you feel. so long, and it just felt so good, his nose getting covered in the sticky essence, he didn't care anymore, he just wanted more and more. but would probably ask you if he can overstimulate you more LOL. if himeko like ever just comes in without knocking, he'll literally growl, and she'll be out in a jiffy, just.. can't get the image of a hungry welt eating his s/o's pussy like a homeless man who hasn't ate in days... is just certainly shocked, calm, collected, and cool; welt yang, was so easily undone and broken by his s/o('s taste yum yum yum)..
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jing yuan has no mercy at all, and will ask you so nonchalantly, "hey, can you sit on my face i'm kinda stressed ;(" is the first text you see when opening your phone. is this really the dozing general of luofu.. asks you so many times actually, like when he's bored and lazing around he'll just ask you to sit on his desk while he eats you out. but dear fucking god— whenever you just came all over his tongue, why the hell did that taste so damn good?? so good he would literally eat you out everyday if he could just to have that 'snack'. and he wouldn't want anyone else's, yours was special, that's what he said. and honestly i see him to be the type that his eyes glow when he gets closer to his climax, and he is another one of the cock stroking while eating you out gang!!
whatever anyway, he'll pound the hell out of your pussy after anyway, don't worry! it's just 'till you can't move a damn muscle in your legs, kind of guy to just want to hold you down by your hips, or the plush of your thighs, he just wants you to hold still while he drinks the devil's wine. if he isn't stroking his cock while he eats you out, his hard cock will just be out in the open while he fingers and eats you out too <3. eats you out like a snack literally sometimes, because he acts like he didn't just eat you out half the time. like after getting you cleaned up and everything, he literally would just start asking "you want anything for dinner?", "huh? it's 1pm in the afternoon jing yuan—"
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blade is really rough when eating you out. messy and rough. type of guy to softly bite on your clit/really rub his tongue against that spot tbh HLP.. overall is confident, "hey babe can i eat you out rq im aboutta go out" "huh??". has your legs on his shoulders and roughly brings your hole to his mouth, all that juice on his tongue is really what makes him distracted from anything else, like even if anyone were to walk in on you both, he wouldn't care, your sultry moans and you cumming all over his face is all that mattered. will finger you and eat you out because he likes it when you squirt your cum out, is in love with the idea. and right after probably would put you into a mating press and insert his dick so smoothly inside there <3
the type to say i'll wash you up after eating you out but ends up having sex in the shower and literally pounds the shit out of your hole.. again.. in the bed this time.. he gives the first impression of high sex drive, breeding kink blade, what can i say? anyways, will just be so glad to slurp all your cum up after, in love with the scent, smell, taste, anything about you, and he'd gladly say it out loud. just keep cumming all over his face when he eats you out and little bladies will be running everywhere :0
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luocha, even if he is a doctor of some sort, he is either so vanilla with it, just a few kitty licks and fingering you, or rough as fuck and messy, no in between because it's either he's gonna make you cum all over his face or cream on his face, doesn't want anything in between. will be glad to finger you if he feels like he wants your cum to just squirt everywhere, mmm just sit on his face and let him do the rest. doesn't care if his hair gets messy, doesn't care if he's supposed to be somewhere right now, he just wants more of this.. essence. whatever it is, he wants more. and won't be pleased if he hasn't milked you of all of it.
doesn't care if anyone decides to walk in on you both either, but that doesn't mean he prefers public sex. just prefers these moments to just him and you. probably also has a breeding kink. while he fingers you, right before he indulges himself in you, and gets too lost and drunk on the taste, he's already daydreaming of mini versions of him and you. loves the idea sm<33 and is glad you are pleased by the idea too!! so he hopes you don't mind his rock hard cock will pound you after a few 7 rounds of eating you out! just for you <3
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can't take the word pussy seriously had to replace it with hole for that and because i want this to be for everyone/every reader!!
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dealer rafe smut w reader and she’s a squirter?
You weren’t exactly sure what had riled him up. Something about missing money and taking care of a rat. His adrenaline was high as he quite literally fucked you into the mattress. You couldn’t get anything out, your words turning into gasps as you he pounded into you at a brutal speed.
The black ski mask still hung over his face, his blue eyes piercing through as he drilled into you. His expensive chain he wore around his neck, shined in the moonlight of the dark room.
“Lay there and fucking take this dick.” Rafe grunted out through the fabric of the mask, his voice gruff and low.
You cried out, your cunt squeezing around his massive dick that was stretching you out. You knew you weren’t going to last long in this position, nearly folded in half, his dick hitting your g-spot over and over.
“Rafe…I can’t.” You mumbled out, tapping your nails against his broad chest. He needed to slow down before you exploded, your stomach tightening with each thrust to your soaked hole.
“Yeah you fucking can, don’t run from it now.”
His hands gripped both of your wrists, pinning them back as he continued the assault to your cunt. The feeling then grew more, your breath hitching in the back of your throat as your pussy began to burst like a waterfall. The clear liquid soaked everything around the two of you, a loud whine coming from your lips as he made you take it. He never cared about the mess.
“You are gonna do that shit again, mama.” He breathed heavily, taking off his mask to wipe his abs that were covered in your squirt. He barely gave you anytime to recover before he was flipping you onto your stomach, slamming back into your sensitive cunt.
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elsbunny · 8 months
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꒰ abby w a pillow princess gf ꒱
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warnings: dom!abby, abs being a whipped gf, modern girlfriend abby, unholy things involving plushies (IM SO SORRY), fem!reader, pillow!princess reader, abby is a loser here and we love her for that. ABIGAIL IS SOFT!
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abby is a giver! she’s that type of person that put her girl’s needs above god
LOVES overstimulation, the feeling of truly fucking you untill you literally cry makes it feel rewarding
huge praise kink, but on the receiving side. abby loves when you tell her how good she makes you feel to make sure she’s doing a great job
doesn’t really care if she’s the only one giving pleasure, doesnt mind at all
she's in control, FEMhandled you in every position while you normally take it like the pretty princess you are
abby just love you so SO much, you were the first person in her life that she didn't fight with. she never felt the need to pick you apart or criticize your every move
your softness and kindness was her favorite part about you. it makes her so happy to give you anything and everything you want and need
after learning all the tricks to your body and how it worked this woman would be unstoppable
abby is always SO gentle, she touch you as if you were a fragile glass
seeing you being pleasured makes her feel pleasured
although she doesn’t mind when you try to pleasure her with your own hands
can be slow and soft but also rough and fast when she’s in the mood
AFTERCARE WITH ABBY IS THE SOFTEST THING EVER
abby is 100% a provider
always using your plushies (that mind you, she bought it) for you to hold while she’s doing feral things with your body, and to use them ON you to please you
always take you to shower right after and doesn’t let you move any muscle while she cleans you up
abby never lets you do anything on your own, really if she catches you struggling even a tinsy bit, she's at your side in an instant to do it for you.
does everything for you because she truly loves you and not because she thinks she’s superior
even though you’re her pillow princess abby WOULD NEVER make you feel inferior or dumb
one of her love languages is buying gifts for you
is not ashamed to talk about sex with, is a must for abby to know about your boundaries and limits at sex
loves the idea of making you her lil housewife
really serious about nicknames!!! for you, she goes for princess, sweet girl, angel or doll
overprotective till her last day on earth, what can i say she’s gotta protect her princess!!!
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IM SO SORRY ITS SO SHOOOORT 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i promise my bby abs deserve something bigger better and stronger lol i just missed you guys so much pookies <33
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recklesssturniolo · 4 months
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Talk to Me - M.S
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dom!Matt (ish), phone sex & reader and him are dating
A/N: idk how I feel ab this one praying y’all like it, also it’s short??? So also sorry ab that 😅
NSFW below, leave if you’re a minor
Cleaning my room, I’m caught off guard as my phone rings. Looking down, I smile seeing it’s Matt.
“Hey babe” I say.
“You got an explanation for the photo you sent?” He asks, referring to the nude I’d sent him a few minutes ago.
“What photo?” I reply.
“Don’t play dumb, you know what photo I’m talking about. Unfair you can send that when I’m not there to have you begging for me” He says, that sentence paired with the fact him being in LA was quite literally why he wasn’t able to be here but causing a heat to form between my legs.
“I mean you could’ve at least sent one back” I signed, laying down on my bed. The shirt I had on rising up and revealing the panties I had on - the exact ones that drove Matt crazy. My mind wandering off to how good he felt inside of me.
“Hello? Are you listening” Matt asked.
“Oh I - yeah sorry” I mumble back, trying desperately to ignore the wetness forming.
“What were you doing? Or more importantly what were you thinking of?” Matt asks, even without seeing him I knew there was a smirk on his face.
“Nothing really I just spaced off” I reply my hand subconsciously tracing the hem of my thong.
“You sure it wasn’t how good I make you feel when I’m fucking you? Maybe how my tongue feels on your pussy?” He replies.
My breath hitches in my throat knowing somehow he’d figured out his small comment from earlier turned me on, “Maybe” I sigh.
“Touch yourself baby” He groans, my eyes widening noticing his change in tone realizing he was jerking off.
“Matt, are you-“ I begin.
“Yeah I’m jerking off, you think I can see that photo you sent and not? Come on touch yourself, I know you’re wet at the thought of me” He responds.
Knowing he was right, I slide my panties down. My hands making their way back to my pussy, a slight moan leaving my mouth as I began rubbing my clit, “Fuck”
“There you go, feels good doesn’t it hm?” Matt asks.
“Yes but nothing compared to you” I respond.
“Yeah? You rather my fingers touching your pussy? My fingers pumping in and out of you until you’re clenching around them?” He groans out.
“Fuck Matt, I need you so badly” I whine, memories flooding my mind with each sentence that left his mouth. His stubble against my thighs while he sucked on my clit, how his fingers felt inside of me curled slightly, any memory I had of him touching me.
“Soon pretty girl, once I’m back I’ll fuck you so good you won’t be able to walk the next day. You have no idea how much I miss how you taste and how fucking tight you are” He groans out, his voice becoming raspy.
Unable to form a response, my mind still continuing to imagine everything he said, a whimper falls from my mouth as my back arches slightly.
“Sound so good moaning for me, fuck I can only imagine how hot you look touching yourself. Tell me what you’re thinking about baby” He says.
“I - just the one time in the car, when you ended up pinning me against the side and fuck how you finger fucked me until I came and fuck Matt-“ I began, my head tilting backwards slightly as I felt my high coming.
“And then what baby, keep going for me” He groans out, his breathing becoming faster.
“And then you fucked me against it and held my wrists together as you slammed into me. Matt I’m gonna come” I whine out, replaying the memory causing the knot in my stomach to grow.
“Good fuck so I am, let me hear you don’t be quiet” He replies, coming out more as a demand.
Without responding, whimpers and moans fall from myself, my eyes clenching shut as I came. Matt groaning and cursing on the other line, my orgasm only becoming better as I imagined him jerking off and coming on himself, his head tilted back and his hips buckling.
“Fuck you don’t know what you do to me” He speaks as both of us catch our breath, “That feel good?”
“Yes but -“ I began.
“I know I know it isn’t the same, trust me baby I know” He replies, his voice soothing now.
“If you don’t come straight to my house after your plane lands I swear to god Matt” I tell him.
“Trust me I’ll be speeding over, I already told Chris and Nick to figure out a ride back. Not waiting another second to be with you” He laughs.
“That was so hot Jesus fuck why haven’t we had phone sex before?” I question.
“I’ve jerked off while you spoke to me on the phone multiples times” He casually says.
“What? Just to my voice?” I asked, now intrigued at him admitting that.
“Mhm, I told you, you don’t know what you do to me”
TAGLIST: @sturnphilia @thatonekid536 @cupidsword @loveesiren @daddyslilchickenfingers @christinarowie332 @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @lxvlysworld @lovingsturniolo @iwantmattsobad @secret-sturniolo @mattsd0ll @soursturniolo @knowingnothingnoel
*If you want added to my taglist just comment or message me*
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c0pkiller · 3 months
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799 CHERRIES + Choso never misses a stream from his favorite camgirl.
CONTENT WARNINGS + afab reader, smut, mature language, explicit adult content, masturbation (m & f), sex show, paying for sex acts, virtual sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal squirting, fantasizing, simp Choso, I'll add more as I think of them. Available on ao3.
TAGS: @ekaterinatepes @dellalyra @sunaishotsstuff @bloompompom @ravereina @tojishugetiddies @i-literally-cant-with-this @hehehehesthings @thecookiebratz @chocoyanchan @niko-ash @hinata7346 @r0ckst4rjk @d4ddies-wh0re @ploylulla @131patpat @etlftl @doestalker @chariottethecat @jottositto @missphanosaur18 @darkstarlight82 @sodoney @xocherishxo @doumacumsluttt @sousblogga
this fic was inspired by @jujuyii 's header and theme :)
more content on my masterlist!
It’s pitch black in his bedroom and he lives in his apartment alone and all but, still, he feels shame creep over his skin. It always takes him some time to shake the sensation that there are eyes on him. Choso huffs as his phone stops displaying the little pink circle, indicating that it’s still loading, and suddenly a pretty girl with chocolate skin and a skimpy pink bikini is being displayed on his cellphone. It’s live. She’s live. Choso curses under his breath.
“Hi, everyone!” You beam, thanking your views for tuning into your steam on time. You spend some time watching the subscribers enter the stream and give a few more to come in before you stand up from your chair. Your frame fits In front of the character, giving him a full view of the slutty outfit you’ve picked out for tonight’s show. You stare at the comments flooding in and read everyone you can, never letting your smile drop through the good and bad ones. Thousands of fans have made it into the chat by now. “What’s got you guys so excited tonight? Are you that happy to see me?” When you sit back down, you twirl a long finger in your hair. Soon enough, he’s too worked up. Your pretty ebony body has him reaching into his boxers and pulling his cock out before you’ve even started doing anything.
He can’t help himself. Choso bites the edge of his t-shirt between his teeth to keep it out of his way, tasting the sweat that clings to the fabric. His abs flex with exertion, hand working its way up and down his throbbing shaft. He finds the strength to take his hand off his cock, still holding his cellphone with his other hand, and press his fat thumb to the screen. He hit the pretty pink button that says ‘send cherries’ and is sure to send you a few hundred; something that’ll get your attention.
“Thank you guys for all the gifts.” Your tone grows bored and you look down at the chat – seemingly annoyed that you’re not getting everything you want. Choso can’t help but want to give you everything you ask for. Just ask, he thinks. That’s all you have to do. He’s made the mistake of viewing you as his girlfriend more than once, ready for him to provide for you and keep you looking pretty. “But you know…” Oh, Choso knows. “If you guys want these panties off, I’m gonna need another K.” The teasing in your voice is so telling. He groans, fisting his cock tighter. Choso has to stave off the orgasm that he wants to have prematurely. Fuck, more people need to tip you so he can cum. Just picturing the creamy folds hidden under the soft hot pink fabric, white cum on black skin – “Oh.” He whimpers, lip quivering and thoughts getting carried away.
He watches your every move, as the rest of your subscribers and viewers must be, and doesn’t dare miss the moment that your polished fingertips dip past the waistband of the thong – teasing those stupid simps of yours and provoking the tips Into coming in more rapidly. All it took was four fucking seconds of touching your inner thigh to go up by 299 more. That bank account is getting fat. “Don’t disappoint me, daddies. You wanna see how wet I’ve already gotten?” You grin, teasing never ceasing and Choso’s dick is red and angry – ready to burst.
The chat floods with comments and replies of people begging each other to send you more cherries. You’re annoyed that it’s taking so long. So is he. The moment you reach your quota and spread your pretty pussy lips on camera is so close. He’s so close. Fuck it, Choso huffs as he strokes himself and moans into the fabric of his shirt. He can’t wait anymore. He’ll just figure out what he’s going to do about his rent later. Choso slows his hand a bit and swipes his thumb in the same manner as before, sending you 799 more cherries. More hard-earned money out of his pockets. You lean your chest further into the camera and let your pretty brown eyes scan the notifications in the chat of the livestream. “Oh wow!” You squeal. Choso groans. “Thank you, Choso!” You address him and flash a smile, jumping up and down a bit and causing your nearly bare tits to jiggle in the wake of your actions. “You guys are the sweetest ever!” That glossed smile turns sultry. “And I think you’ve earned exactly what you guys want so badly.” He groans impatiently as you take your time, removing your bralet. Soon enough your perky tits are free and your brown nipples are erect after being exposed to the cold air. A comment pops up in the chat and catches your eye. “Play with your pretty nipples, baby.” Accompanied by a hundred cherries. Why not? You feel yourself getting turned on as your fingers move up to pinch them according to his command. You lick your thumb and forefinger on both hands and swirl the wet digits on the sensitive buds. “Oh.” You moan out, not entirely putting on a show anymore. “Feels so good.” You moan out. “So good!” The chat speeds up, comments, compliments, tips, the works and Choso is so happy that he found your stream all that time ago so he can bear witness to your beautiful body getting paid for over and over again almost every night. You’re really a dream and the best part about you is that you know exactly that. Your confidence is beyond sexy. You know exactly why you drive these men insane.
He doesn’t slow his hand, finger swiping over the leaking tip every time his palm makes its way up to the top of his cock and, soon enough, everyone gets their wish because your hand gathers in the thin strip of fabric that's keeping your pussy from being exposed in front of the camera and his eyes train on your figure (seeing every inch you move). You lift your hips gently in the chair to pull the thong past your knees and discard it to the floor, no longer visible. And, you weren’t lying. Your cunt has turned to a sopping mess over the course of this live, so mouth-watering. Would absolutely sell his soul for a taste of you.The walls are thin in his place so he has to muffle the scream that rips through his throat in his shirt once again.
You angle the view of your camera a bit and aim it directly over the glistening lips, full body still in view so your subs can still watch your face contorted in pleasure while your fingers ease across the lips with familiarity. The familiarity that you touch yourself with is so telling. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and invisons you lying in bed (your real bed, not the one in your streaming room) touching your pretty pussy and stretching yourself open with your pretty long nails, wincing and moaning. “Should I put something in it?” You grin, full teeth and fingers already spreading the fat folds open for a view of your pink core. “How bad do you want me to?” Your voice drops a bit, almost like a shy whisper and Choso has to hold himself back from roaring at the submissiveness.
The tips begin rolling In as if your viewers are begging you to put your slender fingers inside of yourself. You grow by another 440 cherries and eases one long index finger into your dripping pussy. “Oh,” You whine. Your pretty voice goes straight to his dick. He would give anything to be the one playing with those soft folds, the one making your voice climb in pitch. You’d be his prettiest toy. Choso would dedicate every bit of himself to servicing you, really. Anything he’s got. Anything he can do. Anything you want. At least 200 more cherries come in and that’s when you really start working your cunt. Two fingers are buried deep inside, causing squelching sounds to bounce off the walls you’re surrounded by. You throw your head back and cock your legs up in the chair. Dings and cute little sounds come from your computer as you lose yourself to the sensations of the way you touch your body. Completely unprompted, your hand wanders up to your left tit, pinching the erect bud as you did before. “She’s so perfect.” Choso huffs, feeling himself getting closer to his well-earned peak.
Your lips part to form a small O shape. You’re clearly reaching yours too. You’re so beautiful that he can’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from the screen, away from this body that he craves so much. The chat is begging you to squirt live for them but you ignore every word and focus on pleasing yourself. “G-gonna cum.” You cry out, enticing rapid comments to pop up in your chat window. “You’re gonna make me cum.” He forgets for a moment that you’re streaming to tens of thousands of men that all want you just as bad as he does and imagines that you’re talking to him. It’s not long before he’s fucking his fist, hips bouncing off the mattress and causing it to squeak under his weight. Choso whines as he finishes himself off, cum shooting up to land on his pretty tear-stained face. He lets out whine after whine, seeing white beyond his phone screen.
And when you cum, you cum loud – hands shooting up to fill your moaning mouth with your slick fingers and allowing your other hand to stroke your clit. You give everyone their wish and let your pussy gush on screen. Spurts of your juices land wherever they may and when you feel yourself spent, he watches as you breath heavily, legs still spread lazily in the chair. The cherries don’t stop flooding in, even as you just lay there in your streaming chair, basking in the afterglow of your orgasm. For a few solid minutes, all he can do is let is cock go limp on his constricting abs and watch you breath out in order to recover. This is only the beginning of your show and he’s sure you’re about to make him cum just as hard as many times as he can afford to pay you to.
585 notes · View notes
woso-dreamzzz · 4 months
Text
Shot Through The Heart
Alexia Putellas x Archer!Reader
Social Media
-- -- --
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liked by alexiaputellas and 74,520 others
yourinstagram in my Kate Bishop era prepping for the World Archery Championships in my hometown Barcelona
user2 the Kate Bishop era is everything
user3 the fit, the gear, the posture 😍
user1 Alexia liking? we love athletes supporting athletes
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liked by ona.battle, yourinstagram, aitana.bonmati and 500,356 others
alexiaputellas good food ✔️ good drinks ✔️ good company ✔️
user3 who is she out with?
user1 that food looks great
user2 so, Ona or Aitana she's gone out with, maybe?
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liked by user1, user2 and 356 others
alexiaupdates Alexia spotted heading towards the range where the archery world championships is being held
user1 Alexia being an archery fan is so niche
user4 she just looks so good all the time
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liked by alexiaputellas and 46,506 others
yourinstagram place in the final has been secured
user4 world champion pending
user1 number one ranking is so close
alexiaputellas so proud of you
-> user2 confirmation of who Alexia attended to see!!!
-> user3 besties supporting besties
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liked by yourinstagram, marialeonn16, lucybronze and 300,242 others
alexiaputellas missed this girl so much. seems like almost yesterday we were running around in your backyard
yourinstagram perfect end to a perfect day ❤️
user2 they know each other this well???
-> user2 I thought they had only recently left
-> user4 I think y/n said in an interview once that they had joining gardens so played a lot together when they were little
-> user2 and to think, we could have had archer Alexia or footballer y/n
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liked by alexiaputellas and 200,134 others
yourinstagram getting overwhelmed with my nieces while @alexiaputellas takes pictures. I love coming home
alexiaputellas it was too pretty a picture not to take
-> user4 Alexia be honest, we all know why you took this picture
user2 the abs are abbing
user1 why is one of them holding corn???
-> yourinstagram it's a healthy snack
-> yourinstagram although, all she ended up doing with it was hitting me in the stomach repeatedly 🤷‍♀️
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liked by aitana.bonmati, yourinstagram, marialeonn16 and 500,356 others
alexiaputellas matchday
user2 ready for another Barca win
user4 Barca going for gold
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liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16 and 200,145 others
yourinstagram best thing about being home? being able to watch my favourite team in person
user3 y/n's a Barca fan???
-> user4 are you for real? of course she is. She's from Barcelona
-> user4 and she's literally besties with Putellas
marialeonn16 can't wait to see you again!
-> user2 when is the Barca fem x y/n collab gonna happen???
-> user2 I need her trying to teach them to shoot!
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liked by user2, user4 and 46 others
y/nupdates y/n's story from today as she prepares for her finals match which decides both world champion and the world rankings for next year
user2 the concentration is giving Katniss
user4 she looks so cool
user3 do y'all see that @alexiaputellas liked and then unliked this post???
-> user3 stalking fan accounts for her bestie is such strange behaviour
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liked by user3, user4 and 563 others
alexiaupdates Alexia spotted heading to the final of the women's archery world championships. she was stopped and spoke to three French fans and told them that she was there to support her love
user3 I'm calling it guys: y/n x Alexia
-> user3 the perfect childhood friends to lovers story
user4 don't freak out guys
-> user4 it's probably just the language barrier getting in the way
-> user4 I mean, the Spanish are just strangely affectionate
-> user4 it could just be her platonic love
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liked by alexiaputellas, worldarchery and 500,357 others
yourinstagram one of the greatest days of my life! World champion and world number 1. I can't thank everyone who has supported me enough
alexiaputellas so proud of you, amor. there was never a doubt about it
worldarchery world number one to Olympic champion pipeline?
-> user3 omfg y/n needs to win gold at the Olympics
-> user3 today's performance practically cemented her place in the team
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liked by marialeonn16, yourinstagram and 764,357 others
alexiaputellas I remember when we first met, amor. I kicked my football over my fence into your garden and you shot it with your training bow ❤️. I didn't know then that you would become my closest friend and my greatest champion.
I am so glad to have you in my life and I'm so glad that you've finally decided to stay home to train so we no longer have to do long distance.
If you told little Alexia that she would be playing for Barcelona while being married to the world's greatest archer, she wouldn't have believed you but I'm so glad that you popped my football with your arrow because it was truly to start of something special.
Amor, I am so proud of you for finally completing your dream of being world champion and world number one in archery ❤️.
Here is to many more years at the top 🥂 🥂 🥂
yourinstagram my wonderful wife ❤️❤️❤️
user1 not Alexia doing the relationship reveal and the marriage reveal in one post
user4 the queens of the private relationship. how did we not know before???
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liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16 and 400,367 others
yourinstagram my beautiful wife and my biggest fan ❤️. I'm so happy I get to share my triumph and the rest of my life with you.
I'm forever glad you kicked your silly ball over my fence and cried for an hour after you realised I shot it. I'm forever glad that you stuck around to see me do trick shots and shoot my Papa in the foot when I was nine.
And I'm forever glad you let me marry you.
Thank you so much for all your support and love ❤️
alexiaputellas 🥰🥰🥰
user3 not the relationship we thought we wanted but definitely the one we needed
user2 gonna need to know their whole love story like asap
815 notes · View notes
taleasnewastime · 2 years
Text
What if I love you too much?
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Summary: Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself.
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Genre: fluff; angst; smut; single mum reader
Word count: 20.6k
Warnings: Single mum, small fights, explicit sexual content, oral (f receiving), safe penetrative sex, reader thinks Jungkook is cheating/playing the field, angst, but also fluff, child gets injured (though not seriously), talks of cuts and a small amount of blood.
Additional Drabbles!
Authors Note: Happy Saturday! Hope you’re having a nice weekend so far :) 
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“Ask him to mow your lawn.”
“What? Rosie, why would I –”
“Because look at your lawn, Y/N,” she twists to look at you with a flat face before looking back out your front window with dreamy eyes. “And then look at him.”
You look at the man in question, every glistening, no-tee-shirt-on, tattooed sleeved, square inch of him. Ok, so maybe you get her point a little. Still, you’re not about agree with her.
“I can mow,” you defend yourself instead. “And my lawns not that bad.”
“But can you mow like him?”
“Anyone can mow like him. He’s literally just going up and down the grass.”
“Y/N. Please. Just look at that body.”
“I thought you wanted me to look at his mowing.”
You catch her rolling her eyes as you twist to sit properly on your sofa, no longer wanting to objectify your new neighbour. You don’t even know his name and yet you’re already ogling at the beads of sweat that roll down the many abs he’s sporting. The feminist in you is ashamed.
“Then ask for some sugar,” Rosie continues, still looking out the window. “Or bake him some cakes to properly welcome him to the street, or I don’t know ask him to look after Zac.”
“Oh yeah, because that’s the way to any man’s heart. Please can you look after my four-year-old child?”
“Alright,” Rosie huffs, finally giving in and twisting to sit by you. “I was just brainstorming.”
“Well, thanks but no thanks.”
You stand, try to focus on the reason you came into the room in the first place. Before you spotted your new neighbour mowing topless you were cleaning the mess Zac, your four-year-old son, had left before he bulldozed his way into the garden. You love your son: he’s cute, caring, behaves and will happily entertain himself when you’re busy, but he has so much energy that sometimes he’s like a little tornado. You’re always cleaning up in his leave.
“You need to introduce yourself at some point,” Rosie continues, her voice taking on a more innocent tone, but you still know her game.
“He’s my neighbour –”
“Exactly.”
“– I don’t talk to all my neighbours. We’ll probably just smile if we happen to get out our cars at the same time.”
Rosie heaves a sigh as if you’re being utterly unreasonable. “You’re impossible.”
“You make it sound like I haven’t been with a man since Henry,” you’re still cramming toys into the plastic box you keep hidden behind the sofa when you say the name of Zac’s dad so miss the annoyed look that crossed Rosie’s face.
“Remind me who again?”
You stand up straight, twist to frown at her. Really?
“And don’t say Cam. We all know that was just a glorified blow job.”
You heat, shake your head as your frown deepens. You tell her everything but sometimes wonder if you should leave certain details out.
��There was Paul,” you begin but are put off by the look Rosie gives you. Ok, maybe she’s right, Paul was the IT guy at work that took you on two dates, the furthest you got was a kiss on your doorstep. “Urm, ok, fine. Though, dating a man is still being with him. But fine, what about Aaron?”
“Arrogant Aaron. That’s one.”
You don’t comment on the nickname, though she may have a point, you have bigger things to think about, your brain churning through the last four years to find any semblance of a relationship that will get Rosie off your back.
“James. One night, but it was good.”
“We’re up to two,” she says in a tone that implies you’re not doing well and need to improve.
“Ryan,” you almost shout the name at her when it pops into your head.
“Was Ryan really after Zac?”
“Yep, I remember Zac waking up screaming right when he was about to –”
“Auntie Roo,” you’re cut off by said screaming child.
Your lips seal shut, you both go stiff, if Zac wasn’t four, you’d both look incredibly guilty. Luckily he isn’t old enough to question it. Instead he does a light jump up and down in front of Rosie, eyes wide and smile broad.
“Please can you play?” The words are a little slurred together in his rush to get them out, some of the letters still not properly forming so when you’re with strangers you have to interpret for him. Rosie is fluent in four-year-old speak and the sentence was clear enough for you both to understand.
“Shall we play out front?”
You shoot daggers at the top of her head. She only smiles.
“But, I wanna play with Baby Boe.”
“Fine,” Rosie says still chipper, she stands to her full height rolling her eyes at you. “There’s at least no mistaking he’s yours.”
You give her a sarcastic smile as she twists and follows your son into the garden, Zac babbling on about something unintelligible, Rosie humming along as if fully engaged. You watch them disappear before going back to the task at hand, shoving the last toys into the box you collapse onto the sofa, happy to have even a minute of quiet to yourself.
Closing your eyes you can hear Rosie and Zac playing house in the back garden with his toy dog, Baby Boe. But there’s also that mechanical sound from earlier. You try to ignore it, but now alone you find it hard. Sitting up straight you make sure you truly are alone before twisting and looking over the back of the sofa.
Your neighbour is still there, on the last strip of grass now. You watch as he finishes, stops the lawn mower and then sweeps a hand through his hair. It makes his abs stretch and his arms flex. It only entrances you more. Rosie is right, he’s hot as hell, but what she doesn’t realise is that you don’t need that in your life. Sex is great, and though you’ve only had a few ‘relationships’ since Zac, there have been enough for you to know that however big the payoff may be, it’s never big enough.
You guess you’ll just have to appreciate the view with this one.
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You feel sweaty and tired but unfortunately your son is a bundle of never-ending energy, so here you are kicking a ball around your garden in the baking sun with Zac.
He’s giggling as you half force a smile on your face. It’s not that you’re not having a good time, you love time with your son, it’s more that you’ve been kicking this same ball around for nearing half an hour now. Anytime you’ve suggested doing something else Zac has had a near meltdown. It’s better to play along with it sometimes.
Zac hits the ball towards you, trying to get it between the section of fence you pretend to defend. You leap the wrong way letting the ball hit the fence with a bang.
“And he scores!” You cheer.
Zac screams, hands in the air he does a little running celebration, one he’s done after scoring every goal so far. It still makes you smile.
“What does that make it now, Zac?”
“One million!”
You laugh, fetching the ball and lightly kicking it in his direction.
“Come on then, let’s make it one million and one.”
Zac continues to giggle and run around the garden a little before running at the ball. You can see it’s a bad idea before he even kicks it but are too late to say anything. Zac’s foot hits the ball and it goes shooting towards you. You duck, cover your face with your hands on instinct. But the ball goes over you and the fence.
There’s a beat of silence before Zac realises what he’s done.
“Oh dear,” you say gently, already trying to do damage control.
Zac looks from the top of the fence to your face, his eyes wide with shock.
“It’s ok, we have another ball,” you say.
“But I want my ball,” his eyes are welling up, his bottom lip pouting out.
You try not to sigh and make the situation worse. Instead you go over to the house and pick up one of the other balls. It looks exactly the same, yet Zac doesn’t look impressed.
“This is your ball, Zac,” you try to fill your voice with excitement rather than annoyance. “This one is just as fun. Look.”
You bounce it on the floor before softly kicking towards him. Even you’d admit you don’t do a very convincing job at showing how great the ball is and judging by Zac’s tearful frown, he hasn’t been sold on your pitch either.
“Ok,” you sigh, Zac still looking tearful. “We can go knock next door and ask for it back, but he may not be in and then we’re not allowed to just go around and get it.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s not our house, is it?”
“But it’s my ball.”
“Yes, but we still have to ask nicely for it back, don’t we?” You don’t wait for a response to that rhetorical question, just continue to plough on. “Come on then.”
You hold your hand out and are rewarded with a smaller one placed in it. You head to your side gate, trying and failing to think about what you’re about to do and who you’re about to meet. He’s just a man. Really nothing to stress about. But having Rosie’s words in your head makes it feel like meeting him is something it’s not.
“You have to ask him Zac. So, what do you say?”
There’s a second’s pause filled with the grinding of your gate on the pavement. You look down at Zac when you’re out front and can see his brain working a mile a minute trying to work out the answer to your question.
“You say: I accidentally kicked my ball into your garden. Please can I have it back?”
“I accidentally kick my ball. Please can I have it?” He messes up the pronunciation of accidentally, it’s cute.
“Kicked it into your garden,” you correct as you approach your neighbour’s door.
“I kicked my ball in your garden. Can I have it?”
“Please,” you remind him gently before looking down at him.
He whispers the word back at you, now stood in front of the man’s door he looks a little less sure about the situation. Still, however much you’re also dreading this you’re going to do. it You need to have the confidence for both of you.
You take a breath before looking up and pressing the doorbell. There’s silence as you wait, neither you nor Zac saying anything.
Then the door’s clicking and being pulled open and then there he is. On a slight step above you, you have to look up a little to take in the wide smile he’s showing you. He’s got on a large white t-shirt, baggy black trousers and yet, even though he’s completely covered compared to when you saw him mowing his lawn and the top is not giving you even a hint of what lies beneath, you still feel flustered by his presence.
“Hello,” he says, eyes flicking between you and Zac, smile on his lips but a question in his eyes.
“Hi,” you squeak back, voice too high. “I’m Y/N and this is Zac. We’re your neighbours and uh, Zac here wants to ask you something.”
Both your eyes go down to your little boy who’s now clinging to your leg. He looks up at you unsure, his eyes quickly going to the man and then back to you. Your heart melts.
“Come on Zac,” you say in a far softer tone, your hand going to brush the back of his head. “Can you remember what we said?”
He mutters something that you can’t make out, his lips hardly moving, his eyes on the ground. Still, you look at the man to see his reaction. You’re surprised when you find him leaning in and down towards your son as if to better pick up on what he’s saying. Your heart does something funny and you have to mentally slap yourself to refocus.
“You’ve got to speak a little louder baby.”
Zac addresses you when he says, “Please can I have my ball?”
Well, at least it was louder and he used the word please. But it’s no surprise when you look at the man and he’s looking at you nonplus.
“Zac accidentally kicked his ball into your garden. We were wondering if we could go get it back?”
“Please,” Zac pipes in and while you flush the man seems to light up from within, a mixture of amusement and utter joy at your son embarrassing you.
“Yes, that’s right Zac,” you manage to keep your voice steady. “Please can we have our ball back?”
“Of course,” the man replies, looking between you both. “Why don’t I open up the side gate and you can go find it Zac?”
You look at Zac and he looks back at you unsure what to reply. You give a little nod of your head for encouragement and are rewarded with him looking back at the man and repeating your gesture.
“Give me a sec then,” the man says, standing back straight. “I need to do the bolt from the other side. Why don’t you go wait for me over there?”
You both look to where he points, the gate in question. Zac, now less nervous around the man starts without you. Glancing back at the man to be met with another smile, you swallow before following Zac.
It only takes a second for the gate to grind open. The ally is much like yours, concrete slabs leading down the side of his house to the green of his garden. The man stood in your way bends to look at Zac.
“Why don’t you go run in and have a look? See if you can find your ball in all my long grass?”
This time he needs no encouragement from you. It seems the man has gained his trust in the few minutes you’ve been in his presence. You feel him slip away from you and then watch as he runs down the ally into the garden, leaving you and the man alone. You scramble for words to fill the silence to make it less awkward, hope it doesn’t take Zac long to come back to you.
“Sorry about this,” your eyes flick to the mans which are already on you. “I promise there’s not normally balls flying over the fence.”
“Doesn’t matter if they do,” he replies with a small smile.
Ok. That’s that topic exhausted then with no sign of Zac coming back.
“You enjoying the new house?”
He flicks his head to the side to look at the house in question as if to remember before looking back at you. “Yeah, it’s a great neighbourhood. House needs a lot of work, but I’ll get there.”
“Ah, yeah. I can’t imagine Lindsey and Ron having the same interior style as you.”
“You could say it’s a bit dated for me.”
You giggle, actually laugh at the words as if they’re some amazing joke. It’s more trying to picture this man, this big, buff, man with such a pretty smile living in a house that was previously occupied by two seventy years olds that you don’t think decorated since they moved in forty years ago.
You cut the laugh off short when you realise how odd you must look. The man’s smiling back at you, a different smile to any you’ve seen so far, one you’re sure is him questioning your sanity and who he’s living next to. You cough, shift your weight from foot to foot as you peak over his shoulder praying for Zac to hurry up.
“Well, you’ve certainly managed to tame the front garden.”
“Just the floral carpets to go then,” he smiles at you, his eyes glinting with what looks like a thousand lights.
“Well, if you need a hand with anything, I’m happy to help,” you regret the words as soon as they leave your lips. You really don’t need to get tied up with your neighbour. “Though I have no DIY knowledge, so would probably be no help.”
He doesn’t look put off by your obvious U-turn. “I’ll keep you in mind.”
And you’re screwed. Honestly, is that all it takes? A good-looking guy, some smiles at you and your son and a bit of kindness? Rosie is right, it’s been way too long if a simple smile turns you on.
“Mummy.”
And just like that it’s broken. You bite back the warning of being careful running down the cement paved ally with the ball in his hands. Instead, just smile at your beaming son.
“You found it. Good job. Now come on, I’m sure,” your words slope off, only just realising you have no idea what your neighbours name is.
You look up at him and he fills in your silence with his name, “Jungkook.”
“Right. I’m sure Jungkook has things to do,” you say to Zac. “What do we say now?”
Zac goes a little timid again, squeezing the ball to his chest. “Thank you,” he mumbles before twisting and running back to your house.
“Sorry,” you wince, turning back to Jungkook. “And thank you.”
“It was nothing.”
“Well, thanks anyway,” you grow awkward and decide now is the time to follow your sons lead. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
“I’m sure you will,” he smiles back at you.
Twisting you start walking back to your house, already trying to forget everything that just happened. When you’re safe in the walls of your house you pull your phone out and type out a message to Rosie.
This is why I didn’t want to meet my neighbour.
As usual, it only takes a few seconds for her response to come – you swear she’s attached to her phone.
Tell. Me. Everything.
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There’s a knock on your door. You leave Zac colouring on the kitchen table so you can go answer it. You feel relaxed until you see who’s there. Your whole body going taunt at the sight of Jungkook at your door. Mind flicking through the possible reasons for him to be here.
“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted me to mow your lawns?”
It takes you aback, you’re pretty sure you might even recoil a little from the seemingly simple question. It might take a second but you end up smiling, have to bite your lip to hide how amused you are. It’s half due to how nervous he looks on your doorstep, but more because of Rosie and your conversation from when you first saw him. He must take your beat of silence the wrong way if his increased twitchiness is anything to go by.
“I was just doing mine and thought yours needed doing,” he almost cuts himself off in his haste to clarify. “Not that it looks bad or anything. Just that it could do with a cut. Or more that it saves you the job. And as I was already out doing mine, I thought it would –”
You properly laugh now. Loud enough to cut Jungkook’s ramblings off. He looks like he’s about to throw the towel in and head home but you stop him with a wave of your hand.
“Sorry,” you continue to laugh. “It’s just … of course you can mow my lawn.”
There’s a beat and then Jungkook’s face is turning more serious, a hint of amusement in his eyes as his head cocks to the side. Oh, god. Maybe that sounded like too much of an innuendo. You stand up straight, the laughter dying on your lips.
“I just mean I won’t be offended.”
“Ok,” he says, positions swapped, him amused and you awkward. “Need anything else doing while I’m here?”
“Uh,” you look behind you into the house as if to check before looking back at him. His smile seems to have grown in those few seconds. “Nope. I think we’re all good.”
“Just the lawns then,” he grins, seeming to relax into his position in your door.
“Just the lawns,” you squeak. “Please.”
He nods but still lingers. How does someone go from a rambling nervous mess to this? Though you’ve passed each other coming and going, this is the first time the two of you have properly spoken since Zac kicked his ball over the fence. You wouldn’t have predicted it would go like this.
“Want me to do the back too?”
You almost choke. “If it’s no trouble?”
He shrugs. “As I’m here.”
“Ok,” you look behind you again, for an escape, for a reason to look away from those shining eyes and cocky smile. You’re pretty sure he’s one of these guys that realises the effect he has on people and enjoys it. “Want me to bring you out a coffee or something?”
“I’m good. I’ll just get on with it.”
“Ok, well, thank you.”
“No problem, Y/N.”
You close the door and resist the urge to collapse on the floor.
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“If you kick it too hard, you’re going to have to get it,” you warn as you do another light kick of the ball in Zac’s direction.
As if in spite of your words or maybe because it’s no fun not kicking the ball hard, Zac launches the ball in your direction. Still, you laugh as you manage to leap to the side and stop the ball before it goes off down the hill behind you.
“Maybe we should go and play in the back garden?”
“No,” Zac half screams the word. “There’s horrible fences there.”
He’s referencing the time he kicked the ball over the fence and then had to go collect it. Apparently it was such a jarring experience that he doesn’t like playing there anymore, though you would have thought being able to go in the neighbours garden would be exciting for him.
“Ok, then we have to kick a little softer.”
He follows your request a few times before once again deciding playing by your rules is boring. You let it go for a bit, giggling along with Zac as you leap and try and save each of his kicks. You do a few of your own rouge kicks just so he has to run a little and it gives you a minutes piece. Award for mum of the year over here.
You’re shouting something about how great one of Zac’s kicks is when you hear a door slam. You don’t think too much of it until you hear a voice shouting out.
“Already training for the Premier League?”
You look over to the voice and are met with a beaming Jungkook slowly walking towards you, baggy trousers and just as baggy a top blowing in the breeze. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him not smiling.
“I think we still have a way to go if that’s the aim,” you joke back, looking back at Zac just in time to see him kick a ball that goes miles to your right. Luckily, it’s not a missile like some of his others, but it still feels embarrassing having to jog after the ball with Jungkook now as an audience.
By the time you have the ball back in possession and are back to where you were once stood Jungkook is only meters away. Still smiling and you catch the end of him telling Zac what a great kick he just did. He goes shy, something you always find funny as he’s always a screaming ball of energy around you and other’s he knows, you love seeing this other side of him. Still, it means you need to hold the confidence for both of you.
“Is there room for one more?”
The question takes you off guard, even though he’s made the effort to walk the short distance to be stood here.
“Uh, sure,” you say then look at Zac. “That’s ok, isn’t it Zac?”
Zac doesn’t look sure but luckily he’s currently too shy to dispute you. You also don’t give him much time to disagree with you, lightly kick the ball in Zac’s direction before he can think.
He’s gentler when he kicks it back to you, his aim surprisingly good for once. You feel a small amount of pressure when you kick the ball to Jungkook, trying to include him. It feels like when you were once in school and were laughed at for throwing the rounders ball miles off the mark. It doesn’t go badly, though Jungkook has to step a little to his left to pick it up under his feet, he expertly flicks it between his feet and then knocks it on to Zac.
Zac looks mesmerised by the simple move that you’d never be able to replicate. You can see his nerves slowly cracking with a small smile going to his lips. He still kicks the ball to you, but as the game goes on and as you and Jungkook try to change the direction a few times, Zac finally completely lets loose.
He’s giggling and doing big kicks again. He’s laughing at Jungkook doing more little tricks with the ball before he kicks it on. And he even starts to shout little bits, imitating the words the Jungkook cries out, what a save, that was close, such a good touch.
Soon enough you’re out, you’ve lost your son to your neighbour and a football. Neither of them are kicking the ball anymore, their running at each other trying to do tackles. At least Jungkook seems to realise he’s playing a four-year-old and not someone his age, his tackles are light and he always kicks the ball a little too far and is a little too slow to pick it back up letting Zac get it.
“I’ll go get us some drinks,” you say to seemingly no one. But you don’t really care because your son looks so happy.
His laughs fill up the street as you make your way back to the house and when you look back you watch as Jungkook tackles him and lifts him up into the air, easily tossing him around in the sky making Zac laugh even harder.
You may take a little longer than necessary to make the drinks.
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You’re out-front playing with Zac again. Well, less playing and more sat on the curb watching Zac play. You’ve had a day at work, still need to cook yours and Zac’s dinner but you promised you’d come out and do something first. Given Zac is a ball of energy it’s better to let him get all of that out now, so he’ll go to sleep earlier. That’s always the aim anyway, sometimes it’s just not the reality.
The back garden apparently isn’t good enough for him now. After playing out front and Jungkook joining him on more than one occasion you think he secretly hopes that’s going to happen every time. He doesn’t outright ask for it, but you know your son and you can see the utter joy whenever he gets to play with your neighbour.
You watch Zac run around with one of his teddy’s, rambling on about how the dinosaur is going to get them so they have to go to the volcano.
Even if you’re not necessarily playing with Zac, you love this time spent with him. It’s always just been the two of you and though that’s been hard at times, there’s never been a moment you’ve truly regretted it. You thought you loved his dad, but that was nothing compared to what you feel for Zac.
The sound of a car pulls your attention from Zac. It’s rounding the corner onto your road, still far enough and going slow enough to not panic you, but you know Zac will be oblivious.
“Zac,” you shout, standing up. “Zac. There’s a car coming, you have to wait on that side of the road for it to pass.”
Zac looks over at you, wide-eyed as he takes in the information. You can’t deny that your heart swells a little at the fact he so obediently runs to the side of the road, even picks the side that’s closest which is opposite you.
You smile at him as the car gets closer but it stops before reaching you. You can see the confusion on Zac’s face about what he should do. The car’s stopped but it’s still so close, is he allowed to continue to play?
“It’s ok Zac,” you say just as the door to the car opens.
Zac runs along the pavement for a second, obviously still not entirely sure, but when the car door opens, he must deem that good enough to know the car’s not going to move again and runs out into the road.
You watch him for a second before glancing at who got out the car. You smile at the woman you’ve never seen before. Dressed in a nice skirt and top, you shouldn’t be surprised when she makes her way to your neighbour’s house. You look away as she goes up his drive and rings the bell; it’s none of your business who Jungkook chooses to spend his time with.
Zac obviously doesn’t feel the same.
“Jungkook,” your son shouts out the name, the k sound more like a g and the last one isn’t pronounced so it sounds more like Jun-goo then anything.
Still your neighbour looks over at the shout. His guest too. Now stood on the doorway, in the middle of greeting each other. Jungkook instantly smiles while it takes the woman a second longer. You just feel mortified.
“Zac, darling, I think he has a guest.”
“But I want to play.”
You glance over at your neighbour’s front door; both are still looking at you and though you’re sure they can hear your conversation they seem to be having their own more silent conversation. You feel hot when you look back at Zac. Though you shouldn’t feel embarrassed, you somehow do.
“He can’t play right now because –”
You’re cut off by a scream that sounds like the name Jungkook as Zac goes running in his direction. Truly mortified now you turn to jog after him, calling his name as you go. You manage to catch up to him as he reaches Jungkook’s lawn, place a hand on his shoulder to try and settle him.
“Zac,” you say firmly but as quietly as you can. Jungkook and the woman can definitely here you, you’re only a few meters away, but you’d rather they didn’t. “You don’t run away from me like that and you don’t cut me off when I’m telling you something.”
He looks wide-eyed up at you, lip pouted as if there are about to be water works soon. He’s at the age where everything he asks, he assumes he can get. No isn’t a word unless he’s saying it. And when you tell him anything other than yes, he gets stroppy. It’s a cute age, but it’s tough.
“I just want to play,” Zac mumbles.
You hold your hands out in a silent question that he accepts. Leaning down you pick him up under the arms. It’s more like lifting some weights at the gym then the baby you once had but settled onto your hip and arms cuddling your side make it all worth it. You’re about to speak words of comfort to him before apologising to Jungkook and his guest but a different voice changes that.
“It’s ok,” you look up to see Jungkook stepping towards you, the girl in his entry way looking at you over his shoulder. “I’d love to play with you too, Zac, but I can’t right now. Can I maybe play with you a different night?”
You feel Zac’s head nod against your chest where it’s lay. You run a soothing hand down his arm while you shoot Jungkook an apologetic look.
“You really don’t have to do –”
“No, I mean it. I love playing with Zac.”
You doubt the twenty something year old really enjoys playing with your four-year-old son. Especially as it has just become apparent he has a girlfriend. But the way he says it and the way he smiles; you can almost believe it.
“Well, we need to get in and cook dinner anyway don’t we, Zac.”
There’s another small nod against you and you look between Jungkook and the girl again. You feel so incredibly awkward, though Jungkook looks a little worried if anything.
“Sorry, for ruining the start of your evening,” you say to them both, twisting and carrying Zac back to your house before you can gain a reply. You’ll distract Zac with food. Your own embarrassment might be harder to hide.
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“Hey, let me help you with that.”
The weights that were your shopping bags are lifted out of your hands before you can protest. Soft, warm fingers run along yours to grasp the handles and then they’re gone. You turn to look at the man responsible.
“Jungkook, you really don’t have to,” but it’s like you’re talking to a wall, or more a back, as Jungkook has already turned and is heading to your front door.
“You get the others and it’ll be done in half the time,” he says over his shoulder.
You huff, still not exactly happy with the assumption you needed help, but you don’t audibly protest as you pick up the last remaining bag and follow Jungkook.
“You really don’t have to –”
“Just unlock the door,” Jungkook cuts you off, giving you a small smile and adding. “These bags are starting to get heavy.”
You roll your eyes as you do as asked, placing your bag on the floor before unlocking your front door and letting Jungkook in. He waits for you to come in before he follows you to the kitchen.
“You can just place them here,” you say before turning to look at him.
He’s all smiles again and you’re not sure why you’re so irked by the whole thing. You should be thanking him, but it’s more about what he’s slowly started to make you realise. Zac doesn’t have a man in his life and Jungkook creeping in even in these small ways has made you see how much that might be affecting him. Jungkook hasn’t done much, he’s played football out front with your son, he’s smiled and told him jokes in passing, he’s asked him a few simple questions about his life. And yet your son has lit up with every interaction.
It's ever since the incident the other day when Zac went running to him that got you thinking. You thought you were embarrassed because it looked like you couldn’t control your child, but since you’ve realised that it’s more because you’d started to get used to Jungkook in the same small ways as Zac and seeing him with a woman, presumably his girlfriend, made you realise that Jungkook probably doesn’t feel the same way. You’re just his neighbour and Zac’s just a cute kid. It’s not like you’re dating, or he owes you anything, but having had no help outside your family and Rosie since Zac was born has made even the small gestures massive.
You thought you were enough for Zac. You knew that you were possibly stopping him from experiencing something by staying single or not letting any of the men you’d dated briefly into Zac’s life, but you didn’t think it would matter. And yet so little from Jungkook has shown you how much it can mean.
You don’t mean to be rude or short with him, but these simple acts of kindness are starting to feel like an agenda. Like he’s out to prove that you’re not everything Zac needs.
You can make your son happy on your own. You can play ball with him and have fun and ask him questions about what he likes. You can carry bags into your house on your own; you’ve cooked and cleaned and worked and kept yours and Zac’s lives together longer than Jungkook’s been around. And yet Zac has never run to you the way he ran to Jungkook the other day.
“Zac not here today?”
“His Nan is looking after him.”
You can sense him looking down at you as you start to unpack your shopping. “That must be nice for them both.”
“Yep,” you say popping the p. “Certainly is.”
The silence elongates, tension rising in the gap. You can sense Jungkook watching you even though you don’t look at him as you start to unpack your food. You hear his feet shuffle on the lino floor and can see him leaning against the door frame out of the corner of your eye.
You should break it, should say something and stop being so childish, but you find you can’t, the longer it goes on the more it builds in your head. It’s as if every male that’s been in your life who hasn’t been interested in meeting Zac, everyone that you didn’t feel comfortable meeting Zac, every insecurity you had about stopping Zac from having the chance of a male figure in his life, has built up into Jungkook.
Still, you don’t ask him to leave, don’t say anything, just silently unpack as Jungkook watches you.
“Is everything alright?” It’s Jungkook that finally speaks.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You just seem a little upset is all.”
“I’m fine.”
“Ok. Let me clarify, you seem a little upset with me,” he pauses, when you don’t reply he carries on. “Have I done something to annoy you?”
“Nothing,” you say finally looking at him.
“Just tell me Y/N,” he looks a little pissed himself now and you realise how unfair you’re being. You can think all these things and build it up in your head and realise how stupid you’re being, but to take it out on Jungkook and then not explain why; that’s not fair.
“I just don’t appreciate you coming in and treating me like I can’t lift some shopping bags on my own is all.”
“I never said you couldn’t do it alone. I offered you help.”
“Yeah, ok, it’s fine. I’m overreacting,” you say in a tone to imply the opposite.
“No, come on. That’s not everything, what is it?”
You pause, wondering how much to tell him. “I’ve been looking after myself and Zac far longer than I’ve known you.”
“I know that.”
“So you can stop coming into our lives and being Mr Perfect,” you wave your hands at his whole person at the words.
He laughs, shaking his head. “Mr Perfect?”
“Carrying my shopping in and playing with Zac and acting like you have your whole life together and we don’t.”
“I really don’t know how you got that impression. My life isn’t together. And I enjoy playing with Zac and being around you, but if you’re uncomfortable with that then I can stop.”
You sigh, mentally slap yourself as you twist and pull a chair out. Plonking yourself down you run a hand down your face. When you make eye contact with Jungkook again his face still holds annoyance, but he looks a little softer now.
“Sorry,” you start, body slumping with the all the fight leaving you. “I’m being ridiculous. You don’t make me uncomfortable playing with Zac, I guess I just realised how much he’s grown to like you and yet I hardly know you.” You pause then add with a small smile. “Though you really do look like you have your whole life together.”
Your comment seems to be enough to break the tension. Jungkook chuckles again, this time looking more genuine. He takes the couple of steps to close the distance between you and pulls a chair out so he can sit.
“Well, the first thing I can tell you is I really do not have my life together,” he doesn’t speak as loudly now you’re sat with no background clattering and the wide smile he shoots you has you looking down at your lap to hide your smile. “And you know, maybe we should get to know each other better. We’re neighbours for one, but I honestly do love Zac and if it would make you feel more comfortable then I can do a whole DBS check.”
You look at him, smile wider on your face. He seems to relax at the look, less tense now you’re no longer being annoyed with him.
“You don’t have to do a DBS check,” you assure him. “I guess it’s just been a really long day and my insecurities got the better of me. Sorry.”
“Really?”
“What? Been a long day or are you struggling to believe I have insecurities?”
His eyebrow lifts and you swear his cheeks tint pink. “Well, both I guess.”
“I arrived at work to a snotty email from someone telling me how to do my job and then I didn’t have time to buy lunch so had to have one of the crappy cafeteria sandwiches. To top it all off I had to go food shopping, arguably one of the worst chores.”
Jungkook smiles, nods and waits. You’d kind of hoped you’d be able to sweep the whole insecurities bit under the rug. Guess Jungkook is taking the whole getting to know each other seriously.
“As for insecurities,” you begin, words elongated as you grow more awkward. “I mean doesn’t everyone have them? But, uh, yeah. I mean Zac’s dad has never been in his life and I’ve never properly dated anyone since having him, or at least never thought anyone was good enough to introduce him to. And I’ve always wondered if I’m somehow stopping him from having a second parent.”
Jungkook cocks his head to the side. A small movement as if he’s deep in thought at your comment. Before he can say anything though you let out a small laugh and try to move on.
“Anyway, at least I have lots of food in the house now.”
“Zac’s not missing out on anything.”
The smile dies on your lips. The words are so deadly seriously. Like he means every word. You feel yourself heating even though he’s probably just saying it because he thinks it’s what you want to hear.
“You’re an amazing mum, Y/N. Zac isn’t missing out on anything by just having one parent.”
“Thanks,” you continue to flush. “You really don’t have to say that, but thanks anyway.”
“I don’t have to say it. But I mean it.”
“Well, ok, thanks. Moving on,” you say. “Can I get you something to drink to fully apologise?”
“I wouldn’t say no to a tea.”
You nod, getting up to turn the kettle on. You’ve got an hour of your mum looking after Zac before you’ve got to pick him up. Time you were hoping to spend on tasks you actually need to get done around the house. You can’t retract your offer though and as you settle into easy conversation you find you don’t want to.
An hour passes easily with your neighbour. Laughing and drinking your teas you find you have more in common than you’d have guessed. He’s a similar age to you, took the house on next door because it was within budget, big and something he could easily do up. You normally find that people around your age feel so different in age, are at different stage in their lives as you have so much responsibility in looking after Zac and they’ve just got themselves. But Jungkook feels different. It’s still just him and you can tell by some of the things he says that he’s considering things in his life you couldn’t, but he’s bought a house, has committed to doing it up, has a steady job he wants to progress in. He’s settled. It’s small things but you find your respect towards him grows as well as the amount you like him.
An hour later, you leave him with a wave as you head to your car and he takes the short walk back to his house.
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“Oh, who’s that?”
You fight the urge to look as soon as the words leave Rosie’s mouth. You still don’t want to appear too keen around her. Though you and Jungkook have grown closer, there’s still nothing between you and you still don’t want her getting the wrong impression.
“Who’s who?” You ask, playing oblivious.
She waves you over, doesn’t even turn to look at you. She’s in much the same position as when you first spied Jungkook. Body leaning over the back of the sofa, face almost pressed against the glass of your front window. If anyone were to look at your house, her face would be front and centre and while you imagine you’d die at being caught watching your neighbours so plainly, you imagine Rosie wouldn’t care, she’d probably wave at them.
“Just come look. Some girl is going to Jungkook’s.”
“Oh right, that’s probably his girlfriend,” you say flatly, unbothered, though you still make your way over to where she’s sat to take a look yourself.
“He has a girlfriend?”
The question goes straight through you as you watch the girl in question walking up his drive. Ok, maybe it’s not his girlfriend because this girl has different coloured hair, her skin is slightly darker, she’s shorter, just as beautiful as the other girl you saw, but she is not the same person.
“Of course he has the hottest girlfriend.”
The words pang even though you shouldn’t care, you shouldn’t even be looking out the window at her, yet you find yourself leaning forward to get a better angle to try and see Jungkook’s front door. Is he there? How’s he going to greet her?
“That’s not his girlfriend,” you reply.
“What? He’s cheating on her?” Rosie’s interest peaks, if possible.
“No. I mean, I don’t know,” you try to explain, Rosie looking at you with a frown. “I don’t know if he has a girlfriend. Someone came to his house the other week and I just assumed, but that’s not her.”
Rosie hums, focus going back outside. “Well, that makes sense.”
“It does?”
“A man that hot does not just settle down. He’s a player.”
“Right,” you say flatly, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.
“And I mean, with a body like that, why wouldn’t he?”
“Careful not to get your drool on my window,” you say as you push yourself to stand, no longer interested in watching whatever’s happening out front.
You go back to whatever you were doing before, trying to get the image of the girl out of your mind. You shouldn’t care. But it only seems to add to everything in your mind, becomes another reason in your mind to not get too close to the man.
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“Who the hell talked me into this?” You mutter to yourself as you apply the last bit of lip gloss.
Stepping back, looking at yourself in the mirror, you have to admit you scrub up nice. When you make a bit of an effort you don’t look half bad.
You’ve not been on a proper date in a couple of months. Life has been busy and it’s not been top of your list of things to do, but when someone at work said they knew someone they thought you’d get on with you reluctantly said you’d meet them. Maybe not reluctant, you’re excited to date, to have a night out with someone that isn’t Rosie, to enjoy yourself. There’s just still niggles in your mind about the whole thing.
You’ve still got half an hour before you need to leave. Your taxi booked, completely dressed and ready to go, Zac in bed, all you need now is Rosie to turn up to baby sit for a few hours.
You’ve only managed to take a single breath to try and calm yourself and have a couple of sips of the glass of wine you decided to pour yourself when your phone rings. Rosie’s name pops up on your screen and you smile as you answer it.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to be late.”
“Uh, worse, possibly.”
You sit up straight, move your glass of wine so you don’t accidentally knock it. “What do you mean possibly?”
“Ok, definitely,” Rosie sounds nervous, and you’re not surprised given the desire to kill her right about now. “But, honestly, it’s unavoidable. My car’s died and I thought I could get a taxi but the quote I got was for £50 one way and I’m not saying you’re not worth it, but, on top of it all my mum called and she’s not feeling great and I just thought I’d see if you really need me or if someone else could possibly step in, just for tonight?”
You resist the urge to wipe a hand down your face or pull at your hair; you’d just spent ages so you could look like this. But it sounds like it doesn’t even matter, the date obviously wasn’t supposed to happen. You check the clock, it’s still twenty minutes until your taxi should arrive, still forty minutes until your date.
“I’ll cancel, it’s fine, go be with your mum.”
“What? No, don’t cancel.”
“What am I supposed to do instead?”
“Can’t your mum look after Zac instead?”
“She has book club tonight.”
“Your brother?” She says, her tone already implying she doesn’t hold much hope there.
“Away on business.”
“What about someone from work?”
“Rosie. Honestly, it’s fine.”
“Jungkook,” the name throws you so off you don’t respond immediately. “What about Jungkook?”
“I can’t ask my neighbour to look after my son.”
“Why? They seem to get on great and Zac will be asleep the whole time anyway.”
“He’s probably busy.”
“But you don’t know. You should go ask before you rule him out.”
You chew at the inside of your cheek, torn. You really don’t want to ask Jungkook, but Rosie makes a good point. She seems to cotton onto the weakness and pushes.
“Please, Y/N. I feel so guilty that you might have to cancel this date because of me. I’d ask Jungkook myself, but I don’t have his number. I could find him on Facebook though, just have to hope he sees the message in time but I’m –”
“Ok,” you blurt to stop her.
“Ok? You want me to message him?”
“No,” you sigh, not believing what you’re about to say. “I’ll go round and see if he’s free.”
You can almost see the beaming smile that Rosie is surely sporting. She doesn’t let you hang around on the phone for much longer now you’ve made the decision she wanted. A quick comment to let her know how it goes and a goodbye and she’s gone.
Your eyes flick to the clock as if it’s going to hold some sort of information that’ll help you out. It doesn’t. Just tells you what you already know; you have less than fifteen minutes till your taxi arrives.
Nerves at an all time high you decide the whole thing will only take five minutes either way so Zac is ok in bed. Leaving the door open, you make the short trip from your house to Jungkook’s.
Are you really doing this?
You can hear the noise of the doorbell going around the house. It seems you are doing it.
Sweat builds on your palms. Heat seems to leave your body while gathering in your face. Your throat feels so tight that you wonder if you’ll be able to get any words out if Jungkook answers. Seconds feel like minutes and then when you hear his footsteps approaching they seem to thunder.
The door swings open. You watch in silence as his face goes from curious, to eyes wide in recognition, to a steady sweep of your body. His eyes are still wide when they meet yours but there’s something else in them now as well as a slight flush to his cheeks.
You’re too nervous to take much notice.
“Hey,” you start, but begin talking too fast for Jungkook to say anything. “So, I know this is asking a lot and I want to say straight away that if you’re busy, or if you just don’t want to then please don’t feel like you have to say yes. But I have a date tonight, hence the outfit, and my childcare has cancelled on me and I was wondering, if you’re free, if you could maybe look after Zac? All you’d have to do it is just sit downstairs and listen out for if he wakes up. Again, it’s fine if you don’t want to.”
His cheeks are still pink but there’s a smile on his face now. You honestly have no idea what he’s going to say.
“Y/N, I honestly don’t mind looking after Zac while you go on your date.”
The shock, the relief, the surprise; whatever he see’s pass your face makes a low chuckle leave his lips.
“Do I need to bring anything with me?”
“Uh, no. Not unless there’s something you need?”
His smile is gentle and kind as he looks at you. “Let me just grab my keys so I can lock up.”
You wait the few seconds it takes for him to grab his keys and then watch as he locks his door. You still feel weird as you wait for him, still nervous just in a different way now.
It’s silent as you walk side by side back to your house. You feel unable to look at Jungkook, though you can feel him glancing at you.
“You look nice by the way.”
“Oh, thanks,” your nerves seem to give Jungkook confidence.
“Where’s your date?”
“Just at The Botanist.”
“That’ll be nice. Is it a first date or ..?”
“Yep, first date,” you say as you enter your house. “So, there’s drinks in the fridge and help yourself to any food you find.”
“You might regret saying that,” Jungkook jokes but you’re struggling to find much funny with your emotions all over the place at the moment.
“And I’ll give you my number if anything goes wrong. Like I said he shouldn’t wake up but if he does you can give him some hot milk or read him a book.”
“We’ll be fine, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice is calm as he leans against the wall and watches you shuffle around the room. “If Zac wakes up, I’m sure I’ll cope. I’m sure I’ll be able to find anything I need and work the TV. My house is literally meters away and like you said I can just call you if I need.”
You still feel almost shaky. You trust Jungkook but it’s one thing to leave him playing with your son for ten minutes out front and wholly different to leave him home alone for a few hours. Still, you trust him and know he’ll be fine.
“Just go and enjoy your date,” Jungkook continues. “Are you nervous?”
“I – yeah,” you admit. “It’s my first date in a while.”
“Well, you really do look great. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Thanks, Jungkook,” you say softly, meaning it for so many different reasons.
“It’s fine. Now, go on, get out of here.”
You do one last sweep of the room, slip your shoes on at the door and the linger for a second. Jungkook’s already made himself at home on the sofa, smile still on his face as he watches you. Your hand pauses on the door. It still feels weird to be leaving. But you give Jungkook a nod and head out the door.
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Your key slips on the lock. You sway gently side to side. Closing your eyes, you take a long, slow breath. When you open your eyes, the world is still spinning.
You try the key again. Fingers fumble, it takes a second, but you manage to get the key where you need it. You turn the key, but it doesn’t go as far as you expect. Your hand goes to the handle, you pull down and tumble forward into your house.
Giggling you pull your key out of the door. Why did you think the door was locked? Of course it wasn’t locked.
You bite your lip as you right yourself and try not to slam the door closed. You need to be quiet, Zac’s asleep upstairs and you’d hate to be the reason for waking him up.
You make the mistake of trying to balance on one foot as you take your shoe off. It doesn’t last much longer than a second, you sway so hard that you have to throw your arm out to grab the wall so you don’t wipe out on the floor. You keep hold of the wall as you safely remove your shoes this time.
Shoving your bag on the table by your door you close your eyes for a second, take another breath and then will yourself to go get a glass of water before bed.
It takes you far longer than it should to realise you’re being watched. Are stumbling through your living room to your kitchen when you spot him and you jump in the air.
“Fuck,” you curse, clutching a hand to your heart. “Jungkook. What the hell?”
“Have you had a nice night?”
You huff, a noise that sounds half like a no and half like a yes. “It was ok.”
Jungkook laughs and moves on the sofa so he’s sat up straighter. “That sounds like a rave review.”
You close your eyes and throw your head back. Water forgotten you move towards Jungkook instead, plopping down on the sofa next to him. Your eyes feel heavy but you feel awake enough to talk to Jungkook for a while.
“It was good.”
“But?” Jungkook turns towards you as you lean your head back on the cushions.
“Just that it was just good.”
Jungkook hums and you turn your head on your neck to look at him. He’s closer than you thought but it doesn’t make you pull away from him, however much that wide smile makes your heart stutter.
“You must know what I mean.”
His head cocks to the side. “And why would that be?”
“Because you’re always going off on dates,” the alcohol is loosening your lips, you’d never say anything of this if you hadn’t drunk.
“How much have you had to drink?” He laughs.
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “It was two for one.”
“So that’s what made it a good night?”
You giggle, the noise escaping you with little to no warning. “No, the guy was nice too.”
“Was that opinion formed before or after the alcohol was consumed?”
This time you reach round and slap his arm as you laugh. It pushes you closer to him, the knee you have folded on the sofa pushing into his leg. Your hand lingers on his arm and he doesn’t push you away. You feel the heat coming off him and realise what you’re doing. You pull away and the heat transfers from your hand to your face.
“God, sorry, maybe I’m more drunk than I thought.”
You pull away, twist so you’re facing forward again. Now you think about it your head is really spinning. Looking after Zac tomorrow is going to be fun.
“Want me to get you some water?” Jungkook’s asking the question even as he stands to do just that.
You watch him walk away from you and disappear into the kitchen. He looks so at home.
You close your eyes again and rest your head against the back of the sofa. Water sounds good, maybe it’ll clear your head a little, because now you think about it, being drunk and loose lipped around Jungkook probably isn’t the best decision.
“Here you go.”
A pint of water is in front of you when you open your eyes. You sit up straighter, hold your hand out to take the glass and then down nearly half of it before taking sips from it instead. Jungkook is still stood in front of you, a small smile on his lips as he looks down at you.
“Better?” You nod at the question and Jungkook’s lip curls at the edge. “You ok to look after Zac like this?”
“I’m not that drunk.”
“Ok,” he says with a small laugh, as if he doesn’t quite believe you. “I’ll leave you and Zac alone then.”
He only moves a little, is only standing up straighter, but the movement coupled with the words is enough for you to panic and reach out and grab his hand. Or more grab his wrist. And because he doesn’t move you can slip your fingers lower and land on their intended target.
“Wait. Don’t go.”
His smile has slipped now, his face flat as he stares down at you. He’s not gripping your hand back. You suddenly feel a lot more sober, feel like you’ve made a mistake.
“You’ve not told me how your night was yet,” you say in a much softer tone, your hand slipping out of his.
“I haven’t heard anything from Zac. I even went to look in his room to make sure he was actually there. He’s been fast asleep while I’ve watched trash TV all night.”
You nod, feel like you’re turning into a nodding dog at this point. But you don’t know what else to say. You’ve just asked him to stay and that short, closed sentence is clearly him telling you he’s heading home.
“Well, thanks so much for looking after him.”
“It was no trouble.”
You look up at him, wait for him to move, to leave you sat here alone. But he still doesn’t. It gives you enough confidence to keep talking, or maybe the silence is just eating too much into you that you feel a need to fill it.
“Do you want me to pay you?”
His eyebrows shoot up his head and you giggle, realising what he must be thinking and go on to clarify.
“I mean for babysitting.”
“Oh, no. I was only going to be sat next door doing the same thing anyway.”
“Right,” you swallow, mind whirling. “Well, I still feel a need to pay you back some way.”
“You really don’t need to do anything.”
“But you’ve done so much for me and Zac since moving in.”
“I’ve told you before I like playing with Zac.”
“And the mowing our grass?”
“It only makes sense when I’m already doing mine.”
“What if I want to pay you back?”
“I don’t want anything from you.”
“Nothing?”
He pauses, his eyes dark as he looks down at you. The air seems to thicken and though you don’t know how, you know you’ve got him.
His eyes follow as you push yourself to stand up. He doesn’t move to give you space as you come toe to toe with him. His eyes flick around your face as yours remain steady on his. You don’t touch him straight away, but you get close enough that all you’d need to do is lean forward and you’d be against him.
The silence feels loud now, both of you holding your ground, the anticipation rising.
“Are you sure you want this?” He swallows his eyes flicking to your lips.
Subconsciously you sweep your tongue along your bottom lip and are rewarded with Jungkook unable to take his eyes off the movement.
If you were completely sober maybe you wouldn’t be so brash. If you hadn’t just been on a rubbish date, thinking about how much better it could be if only the person sat opposite you was the man currently stood in front of you, maybe you wouldn’t be this bold. If Jungkook hadn’t been so kind, so thoughtful, so good looking, maybe you wouldn’t be doing what you’re about to do, maybe you’d be thinking twice about what a mistake it could turn out to be.
You close the gap, move slowly to let Jungkook back away if he wants. But he doesn’t. When you’re close enough, he places his hands on your hips and pulls you into him.
He tastes salty, like crisps. His lips mould to yours the way your body moulds against his. Your back arches up into him, his hand goes to the small of your back and his tongue slips into your mouth.
“Are you sure about this?” Jungkook whispers again.
You don’t have time to answer, now you’ve kissed him, you want all of him. You twist both of you so that when you push yourself into him and he has to take a step back, his knees hit the sofa. His eyes are wide, full of surprise as he lowers himself backwards. You don’t let yourself be shocked, this is so unlike you, but honestly you don’t care or overthink it.
Placing a knee either side of Jungkook you straddle him, place your lips back on his as you grind down into him. His hands fall to your hips again, squeeze the flesh there every time you drag yourself over his length. You can feel him, all of him, hard and long, pushing up against his joggers and right into you.
You need him. Now.
All rational goes out the window as you push yourself up enough to try and push his trousers down. Before you can get very far, Jungkook’s hands are encompassing your wrists, stopping you. He doesn’t seem angry when you look at him, there’s only an amused smile on his lips.
“What’s the rush?”
“I –” you pause, it’s enough time for you to come back to reality and realise how desperate you must look right now. You plop yourself backwards, sit on Jungkook’s knees as his hands slip from your wrists to encompass your hands. “I don’t know. Sorry.”
He pulls your forward enough to kiss your lips. You can feel the smile is still there.
“Let me at least go get a condom,” he mumbles.
You let out an embarrassed huff of air, your face scrunching in mortification while Jungkook just chuckles. He moves his hands to your hips, pushes you up and then gently gets you to lay on the sofa while he stands. You look up at him, embarrassed, but still don’t want him to leave.
“I’ll only be a minute,” he says before disappearing from view.
You’re left in the silence of your own embarrassment. Lay on the sofa you keep replaying the last ten minutes over in your head. Sure, it was great, kissing Jungkook has definitely exceeded expectations so far. But what must he think of you? Pouncing on him after a failed date.
You place your hands over your face and let out a small groan, missing the noise of the front door quietly closing.
“Don’t tell me you carried on without me?”
You peel your hands off your face, look up surprised to see Jungkook back. Part of you honestly thought that was an excuse to up and run. But there he is, beaming down at you, small foil packet in hand.
“You still wanna?” His voice drifts off, unsure.
You’re still in shock. But a quick glance down shows that he isn’t lying. His trousers are still straining at the groin.
You look back at his face, suddenly feeling very hot. You nod. Jungkook smiles.
“Good,” he mutters before taking his top off. “Because you still owe me.”
You watch as he takes his trousers off, leaving him only in his boxers. And then he kneels before you. Hand on either knee, he twists you so that your feet hit the floor and you’re sat in front of him. As he toys with the hem of your dress, you dutifully lift your arms to let him know he can take it off.
His eyes are near black, focused purely on your chest and the light lace that is covering you, when your dress is on the floor.
“Were you hoping to go home with him?” His voice is as dark as his voice, a husky quality to it that has you clenching around nothing.
“No,” you say honestly, the word enough to have Jungkook drag his eyes up to yours. “I wore it to feel good.”
He nods. His eyes flicking back down to admire your body. You feel good, slightly self-conscious but you must admit that it feels nice to have Jungkook look at you with that much lust on his face.
His hands reach out, lightly run down your sides at the same rate as his eyes. He toys with your lacy pants for a second, eyes flicking up to yours before he starts to pull them down. You lift yourself up a little to help him and then they’re joining your dress on the floor.
Your breaths come out faster. Your head leaning back into your sofa as Jungkook places his hands on your knees and pushes them apart.
How is this happening?
You can’t believe this is happening.
You can’t pull your eyes away from the sight of Jungkook’s head moving towards you. You swear you’ve had a wet dream about it. And now it’s happening.
His tongue is just as delicate as his fingers as he swipes it through your folds. His hands hold firm on your knees as you try to clamp them together around his head. You can feel his smile as his lips go to your clit, his tongue drawing patterns of the bundles of nerves.
When he deems it safe to, one of his hands moves from your knee and with his lips still on your clit, he begins to push into your entrance.
Your hand flies to his head, pushing him further into you while fisting the strands of hair on his head. You moan at the ceiling and push your hips further into Jungkook.
It feels amazing. He feels amazing.
When he pushes another finger into you the coil in your stomach only grows tighter. You moan out again and then realise that the two of you aren’t alone in this house.
“We’ve got to be quiet. Zac’s upstairs,” your voice is breathy, almost husky.
There’s a mumbled noise against your skin, hopefully in recognition of what you’ve said. And despite your words it’s you that’s the noisiest. You can’t help it, however hard you try Jungkook’s lips around your clit and his fingers inside you make it impossible.
You can feel his lips turn into a smile when you let out a particularly loud noise. You wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact that Jungkook pulls away from you. His fingers still in you, his face looking up at you with a certain smugness.
“How we going to get you to be quiet then?”
As if to prove his point you moan out when his fingers push deeply into you. He chuckles, you frown at him. Hands reaching up, you have to push yourself off the sofa a little to wrap them around his neck to pull him up off the floor and into you.
“Like this,” you say before attaching your lips to his.
This time when you moan out it’s swallowed by Jungkook’s mouth.
He expertly works you both sideways, fingers still in you as he manoeuvres you to lay down on the sofa with him hovering over you.
His hand doesn’t become enough. There’s pleasure there still, but you want more, you want all of him. He didn’t go all the way back to his for a condom for nothing.
Placing a hand on his shoulder you get him to pull away from you. “Where’s the condom?”
It takes a second for him to understand, but then he’s doing a scramble to find it. He finds it between the layers of your dress. As you tear it open, he pushes his boxers down. You try not to be intimidated by his size, because as he rolls down himself that’s all you can think.
He is fucking massive.
Jungkook looks smug when you look back at him, as if he’s seen where you were looking and read what you were thinking. You roll your eyes as you pull him back down to kiss you.
“Just shove it in already,” you mumble against his lips, earning a chuckle from him.
He reaches between your bodies, runs his tip through your folds and pushes just the tip inside you. You moan and arch up into him. It already feels like a lot.
“Sure you can handle it?” He jokes, confirming he knew what you were thinking earlier.
You think he probably has a point. But the desire to prove him wrong, or at least wipe the smug smile off his face, is larger. Wrapping your legs around him, you push him down deeper into you as you push your hips up. He must only move a couple of inches, but it’s enough. This time it’s him, not you, that lets a moan out and you don’t have to encourage him to sink the rest of the way in.
There’s a small pause in movement. Your breaths the only noise in the room. You realise you still have your bra on when you feel Jungkook’s chest move along yours. But then he’s placing his lips against yours and delicately kissing you. Softly and slowly, he begins to move.
It’s not the rough, heavy sex you’d imagined. He doesn’t toss you around, or man handle you. He’s slow as he pulls out and though there’s power behind each thrust in, it’s still not rough. A thought flicks through your mind, it’s more like making love than having sex. The thought there one second and then gone when Jungkook thrusts back into you.
It feels good. His lips still on yours, his thrusts building up that feeling inside you, the small moans he keeps letting out only driving you closer to oblivion.
It doesn’t take long. It’s no surprise. Even if his body didn’t look the way it did, his cock is big enough that he wouldn’t need to have much skill to make anyone feel good. But, as if to make it completely unfair, he knows what he’s doing, knows exactly how fast to go, exactly how deep to push into you, knows where to touch and where to kiss to drive you completely insane.
When you come, you come hard. You become a mess in his arms. He swallows every one of your moans as he thrusts a couple more times and then you feel him twitching in you, his own moans rumbling through his chest.
Still inside you, he rolls you so you can lay side by side. You should go to the loo, should put some clothes on or something. But when Jungkook reaches up to pull a blanket off the back of the sofa over the top of you, you find it hard to even keep your eyes open.
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You were hoping Jungkook would be gone before Zac woke up, but when you hear the small feet thundering down the stairs all you can think is how happy you are you both have clothes on.
Zac jumps off the last three steps, a habit you tried to stop early but probably only encouraged him. He runs nearly as far as the kitchen before he realises there’s someone other than you sat on the sofa. He’s too surprised to say anything straight away, his eyes wide as they stare straight at Jungkook.
“Have you brushed your teeth?” You draw his eyes to you. He pauses then with a guilty look nods. “Have you?” You get another less delayed nod. “Come here then.”
He doesn’t move, he knows he’s been caught out. You raise an eyebrow at him and he tries his hardest to hide his smile but fails.
“Go and clean your teeth and I’ll make you breakfast. What do you want?”
His eyes flick to Jungkook before settling back on you. “Why’s Jungkook here?”
Your heart stops before starting at a more rapid pace. “He just slept here last night.”
“You had a sleepover?” He looks hurt as if you purposefully left him out.
“No, well, yes, but it was nothing Zac.” You can feel the way Jungkook tenses next to you, and you know if you were to look at him, he’d be stifling a laugh. “Just go brush your teeth.”
He pauses a second longer, eyes continue to flicking between you but one look at your stern face has him moving back to the stairs.
“And what do you want for breakfast?” You shout after him.
“A ham sandwich, crisps and sausage roll.”
“That’s lunch,” you shout but don’t get a response.
Zac fully out of view now, Jungkook lets out his laugh. When you turn to point your frown at him, you’re met with his face a lot closer than you’d thought. Without much thought he leans in and places his lips against yours. When you stiffen and try to look over your shoulder to double check you really are alone, Jungkook’s hand goes to your head to stop you.
“It’s fine,” he whispers before pressing one last kiss on your lips and drawing away.
You remain stiff even as Jungkook removes himself to a safe distance. It’s just that you’re not used to this. Sure, the morning after stuff is awkward but it’s more that Jungkook looks so relaxed in what should be an incredibly awkward situation.
“You going to go make that ham sandwich?” He smiles at you.
“You going to head off?” You counter.
He raises an eyebrow. “Do I not also get breakfast?”
“Do you want breakfast.”
“Uh, yeah?” He chuckles as if it’s obvious.
You could ask him to leave you guess, but after a moments pause you figure there’s really no reason. Your main worry was Zac seeing him here, but that’s happened now anyway. There really isn’t any reason to force him to leave.
Standing up, you head to the kitchen, Jungkook following in your wake.
“Scrambled eggs on toast?” You ask, already getting the ingredients out, heading to the counter with them.
Jungkook comes up behind you when you’re cracking one of the eggs. His body presses into your back and he leans round to place his head on your shoulder so he can watch what you’re doing. When you twist to ask what he’s doing he only sees it as an opportunity to kiss you.
“Jungkook?” You ask, pulling away.
“What?” He chuckles, staying where he is.
“Zac could walk in any second.”
“I’ll hear him coming down the stairs, it’s fine.”
You’re not as sure and while it’s one thing for Zac to see Jungkook here early, it’s wholly different for him to see him all over you like this. Jungkook seems to get the idea and with a smile and another quick kiss he peels himself off you.
You would never have thought Jungkook the clingy type. But then you wouldn’t have guessed he’d have been so soft with you last night too, so maybe you just have to realise all your assumptions about the man are probably wrong.
Feeling flustered you focus back on your eggs. And when you hear Zac’s feet running down the stairs you realise how unprepared you are for this breakfast.
“Have you washed your hands?” You say over your shoulder.
“What’s Jungkook doing here?”
“I’ve already told you that. Have you washed your hands?”
One glance over your shoulder tells you enough. They’re the words you say before every meal and every time you get the same guilty look. Before you can tell him to go and wash them though, Jungkook’s speaking.
“I haven’t done mine either. Maybe you could show me where the sink is?”
You catch the small nod Zac does before he’s zooming off. Eyes still on the door you miss the fact that Jungkook walks over to you before following Zac and can only freeze when he presses a light kiss to your cheek.
“See, I’ve got this,” he says cockily before disappearing after Zac.
You remain frozen for a few more seconds before realising the eggs are catching and you still need to butter the toast.
Though you’ve managed the whole, looking after a toddler while also doing one hundred other things, it’s not wasted on you how much of a help Jungkook is. He occupies the time it takes for you to get breakfast ready and then helps Zac lay the table for you. He keeps up an easy conversation over the food. And then, when you start to clear up he easily takes Zac out of the way and entertains him for a bit before coming back to help you.
They’re small things, stuff you wouldn’t have even picked up on before Zac was around. But you can’t deny that his easy smiles, coupled with watching him wipe down the table really gets you going. You really are a mum.
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“Oh shit,” you moan, body creeping up the bed.
Jungkook only grunts in return, his hands tightening on your hips to stop you from moving away from him. With the way he’s slamming himself into you, it doesn’t help and you continue to move up the bed.
He slows to a stop, leaning down into you so his chest is against you, face above yours and cock fully in you. His hair is slightly damp from all the effort he’s put in. You’d feel slightly bad if it weren’t for the fact he’s been making you feel extremely good and that he looks incredibly hot with damp hair. He also doesn’t seem to be complaining about the fact you’ve just been laying on your back the entire time.
“Mum’s going to be round soon with Zac,” you manage to get the words out just before he presses his lips to yours.
Slipping his tongue into your mouth, he moves his hips in the same slow but deep rhythm. You try to grind your hips up into his, deepening how far he goes into you with every thrust.
“We’ve got time,” Jungkook mutters back, his lips moving from your mouth to press around your face. “I just need you a different way if I’m going to come any time soon.”
“Mhumm?” You moan, eyes closed, head tilted back to let Jungkook have access to your neck. “How’d you want me?”
He hums, teeth nibbling a little bit of skin as his hips push a final time into you. “On your hands and knees.”
He looks up at you, trying to gage your reaction but when you clench around him, he gets the idea. You hum a little when he pulls out and when he’s given you enough space you turn onto your front. Wait patiently, exactly how Jungkook wants you.
His hand runs down the arch of your back, stopping only to feel the globe of your ass. He lets out a satisfied hum before you feel his cock tapping you.
You arch back and up into him and you hear a little satisfied chuckle as his hand moves to your hip. He keeps you where you are as he runs his tip through your folds.
“I’m not going to last long when I get in you,” he warns.
“Neither.”
“Ok,” he breaths, stopping when he’s at your entrance.
His hands tighten on your hips and he lets out a low whine as he pushes into you. He feels so different from this angle, somehow bigger than he felt before. The first few thrusts are slow, you both are getting used to the feel of it. But when you fall onto your elbows, half exhaustion, half because your hands were starting to ache, he hits a particular spot in you that has you moaning into the sheets.
“Oh yeah?” Jungkook asks and you can only let out a gurgled noise in response.
It’s enough. His thrusts grow faster and every time they hit that spot. His balls slap against you, only adding more pleasure. The whole thing is enough to do as you both warned. You come first, hard and out of nowhere. And the feeling of you clamping down is enough to get Jungkook to follow close behind.
Collapsing on your front, Jungkook pulls out of you and gets rid of the condom before lying next to you.
“I should really sort myself out before mum gets here,” you say, though don’t move.
“We’ve got time.”
“Yeah, no offense, but you also need to be gone before she gets here.”
He chuckles, the noise causing a smile to appear on your lips. “I’ll jump the fence if I need to. Stop worrying.”
You roll onto your side and Jungkook flops his head so he can look at you.
“She’ll be able to smell that you’ve been here,” you say and Jungkook grimaces as if weirded out by the comment. “I know. But nothing gets past her.”
Jungkook rolls onto his side. “Well, I can stay and meet her if you want?”
You don’t know why the thought terrifies you so much, but it does. You don’t even know why Jungkook’s offering, but he seems so sincere about it, as if it’s a perfectly normal thing to offer. Surely, it’s too early to be thinking about meeting each other’s parents?
“I can just say you need help putting some shelves up.”
“She’ll make some comment about that being an innuendo,” you roll onto your back.
“Well come on then,” you feel the bed dip and move and when you look back over at Jungkook he’s already standing. “Let me at least help you clean up the evidence.”
There’s a wide smile on his face as he starts to pull on the clothes you all but threw on the floor earlier. He doesn’t look bothered by any of this and while you worried this was only about the sex for him, with all the little things he’s doing, he’s slowly convincing you that maybe it’s not.
“But you better hurry,” he teases when you continue to lay staring at him. “She’s going to be here any minute.”
He does a poor imitation of your voice and when you throw a pillow at him he only chuckles as he catches it. It hits you square in the face when he tosses it back. By the time you’re sat up and moving Jungkook is already out of the room and beginning to tackle the mess you’ve been putting off.
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You continue to sleep together whenever you can find the time without Zac being around. But when there isn’t any, Jungkook is still there.
He plays with Zac outside so you can have some peace while you prepare dinner. He washes the dishes up when he occasionally stays for food so you can go and get Zac ready for bed. He buys you bunches of flowers and little boxes of chocolates. He does things around the house, mows the lawn, stops the cupboard squeaking and makes it so the shower doesn’t leak water out of one side.
He seeps into your life in every way and though you’re cautious, you completely let him in.
You convince yourself it’s nothing serious, mainly because you never discuss what the two of you are. But it’s fun and you live in the moment, enjoy the sex as well as the help you’re getting around the house.
However, you look at it though, you know you’re doing what you said you wouldn’t. You’re letting Jungkook in. Not just into your life, but into Zac’s too. Somehow you can’t seem to feel bad about it.
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You don’t notice him until you round your car to check that Zac is strapped in. It’s barely 7am, not a time you’re used to seeing Jungkook but the movement at his door has you glancing up. You do a double take as you come to a stop by Zac’s door.
There’s a girl looking like she’s just stepped out of his house, she’s close enough to Jungkook to look like they’re about to embrace or make out or maybe both. He’s stood just in his pants looking down at her, you’re too far away and the girl is blocking your view to work out the expression on his face. Or maybe it’s the cool feel of embarrassment that stops you looking too hard.
Still, you can’t pull your eyes away from the scene. As the girl is talking and Jungkook is listening, neither notice you staring.
It’s not the same girl you’ve noticed at his before, no, this is someone you’ve never seen. You’re not sure if that makes it better or worse. What you do know, is how big an idiot you are. Because of course while you were growing to like him, while you were letting him further into your life, he only saw what you had as something else, a bit of fun, a convenience.
It’s your own fault for not talking to him about it. Your own fault for reading into it more than you should have. You’d known who Jungkook was, what he was like, the sort of man he was and yet you’d still been blinded by his words and smiles. You stupidly thought that you were different. One of those stupid girls that thought you’d be the one to change him.
And there he is, after a night with someone else and he doesn’t even care that he’s flaunting it on his front doorstep.
“Mummy, why aren’t you trapping me?”
Zac speaks loudly enough to not just draw your attention but your neighbours too. You catch Jungkook’s eyes dart towards you just before you twist to your son. You don’t correct his wording, you just want to be out of this situation, don’t want your embarrassment to be witnessed by anyone else.
You duck down to Zac’s level and pull the belt over him and his car chair. Satisfied he’s strapped in you stand. Your traitorous eyes can’t help but flick to your neighbour’s door, however hard your brain is screaming not to look.
The girl is a step further away from the door now, her head looking between you and Jungkook. Jungkook’s gaze is firmly on you. It looks like he’s about to open his mouth and shout something at you. That or take off in a run in your direction.
Springing into action, blood coursing through you, you leap into the drivers seat, buckle yourself in and take off in reverse.
You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you start down the road. Though you know nothing is going to happen there’s thoughts of Jungkook opening your door or banging on your window. None of that happens. When you flick your eyes in the rear-view mirror, he’s not even left his doorstep.
Your heart falls into the bottom of your stomach.
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“I know what I saw Rosie.”
“Well talk me through it one more time.”
You sigh, look down at the tea in your hands before flicking your eyes to your son. Zac is still playing with the little girl who approached him fifteen minutes ago and is happily getting bossed around in a game with her. It’s sweet to see the bundle of energy that is your son be so placid sometimes. It’s also great to be at one of your favourite coffee shops, kids play area and all with your best friend moments after the most embarrassing time of your life. Though you don’t want to relive every detail of what happened in the car before coming here, it’s kind of nice to hash it out with Rosie.
“There was a girl, all dressed up as if she’d had to put on the clothes she was out in last night, stood on Jungkook’s doorstep while he stood basically naked saying goodbye.”
Rosie hums, her head bobbing up and down in thought. “Yep. I’ve got to admit I’m struggling to see any good angles.”
“That’s because there are no good angles,” you whine.
“Well, I’m guessing the nearly naked bit was good.”
The glare you shoot at her has her sitting straighter in her chair, her hands almost raising in defence.
“Yep. Agreed. Definitely one of the worst bits. Ok.”
You sigh, eyes flicking once again to Zac.
“And what the hell am I supposed to tell Zac?” It’s the first time you’ve thought about it, because although this is your issues, it’s also going to affect Zac. “I can just ignore Jungkook, but Zac will still ask questions and while I’d dive away from him in public Zac won’t do the same.”
“Right,” Rosie says with the air of a woman with no children, therefore lacking all understanding of your predicament. “Well, my first thoughts in all of this, and please don’t kill me when I say this. But, why don’t you talk to Jungkook first?”
“Why would I do that?” You ask flatly.
“Because you clearly have no idea what you were looking at this morning.”
“What gave you that impression? I’ve very obviously stated just how much I saw.”
“Yes, and while I admit it didn’t look great, neither of us can fully explain it. The only person who can happens to live only a short trip from your house.”
“Not going to happen,” you say, taking a sip of your tea and looking away from her. It does nothing to convince her to change the topic.
“You’re both adults. Maybe what you thought you saw wasn’t exactly what it was,” when you continue to not look convinced, she sighs. “Fine, give him a piece of your mind, walk away from him and avoid him like the plague. But what if you’re building this up to be something it really isn’t?”
“I know Jungkook, and I know what that was.”
“From what you’ve told me about him, I really don’t believe it for a second.”
Your ice-cold glare does nothing, she just levels her gaze right back at you. In the end it’s you who give in first.
“I’m not going around to his only to have what I already know laid out so plainly for me. You don’t understand how mortifying it was this morning.”
Rosie’s eyes turn softer, a glint of pity seeping into them. When she speaks her tone is softer and her body starts to lean in towards you.
“I get it. But I also get the impression that Jungkook would never do that to you or Zac.”
The mention of your son’s name makes your heart pound. You look over at him, he looks so happy sat on the floor piling blocks high with the little girl. It makes your heart hurt to imagine him asking after Jungkook and you having to tell him that he can’t see him anymore. The laughs and giggles that always came out of him when Jungkook is around. The manly figure in his life gone like that. This is why you didn’t want to get close to him. This is why you didn’t want anything to happen. Because although you’re hurting right now, you know it’ll feel nothing in comparison to breaking it to your son.
“Will you just think about it at least?” Rosie asks, dragging your eyes back to her.
You sigh and then nod. “I’ll think about it.”
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You think about it all of two seconds and know you will never be knocking on Jungkook’s door, nor will you be hanging around outside long enough for him to catch you. No, you will be doing exactly as Rosie suggested and avoiding him like the plague.
This is why you never wanted to get involved with him. Because you knew what would happen in the end, you knew what type of man he was. And why you may have accepted that in the past, gone with the man for a bit of fun. Now, things have changed, it’s not just you that you have to think about.
You spend the time alone thinking it through. The more time you have, the more certain you are. Jungkook was a mistake. But now you know that you can move on as best you can. He doesn’t want you, that’s fine, you can accept that and do your best to pick up whatever pieces of Zac that break.
Surprisingly, for nearly a week, it works.
Unsurprisingly, when there’s an unexpected knock at your door Saturday evening when Zac is in bed, it’s Jungkook.
You know it’s going to be him before you open the door, or at least have a strong feeling it is. Your face is already set in a grimace, so luckily it’s not a delivery man or an unsuspecting stranger. You open the door enough for Jungkook to see you, but only enough that your body is blocking any view inside.
“Hey.”
You raise an eyebrow at the word. Has he really come here after a week and the first word he says is hey? You can almost see the cold sweat breaking out across his forehead, but to his credit Jungkook remains calm.
“So, I was thinking it’s been a while since we last saw each other and I was wondering how you are?”
“Are you shitting me right now?”
You have half a mind to slam the door in his face and as if reading that thought Jungkook sticks a hand out and props it on the door. He doesn’t push it open, he doesn’t apply any pressure, he just rests it there so he can stop you closing him out.
“Can I come in so we can talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about?”
It’s Jungkook’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Given this reaction, there is clearly lots to talk about Y/N.”
“And if I don’t want to talk?”
He closes his eyes. You’re not sure if he’s praying or taking a second to calm himself down. Either way, when he opens them and looks at you, they seem darker, more intense, like he has more purpose now.
“Right, if you want to do it here, let’s do it here,” he says and doesn’t give you time to interrupt. “I know you saw me last week with Clare. I know what it looked like and I know what you thought. Maybe I’ve been utterly shit in not coming sooner but I wanted to give you space to figure things out on your own; I realise now that was a mistake.”
You’re so thrown by the last comment you don’t speak in the small pause. Should you be offended? Jungkook carries on, as if satisfied you’re listening to him.
“Clare is an ex of sorts, and she came over early, before I had chance to get dressed, and that’s what you saw. Nothing else. Nothing more.”
You don’t know how to feel. You don’t know whether to believe him. Because although he sounds like he’s telling the truth, he also sounds like he really wants you to believe him and for whatever reason you’re not sure why he’d cared so much about what you think.
“You always answer the door in your pants?”
It’s clearly not the words he was hoping for, but he still gives you an answer. “When I’ve just woken up, yes.”
“And she didn’t stay the night?”
The question, although spoken with a little less bite, a little less certainty, seems to be more what Jungkook was expecting. Though you’ve given him little reason to relax, his shoulders look less tense, his weight leans forwards so the door creaks open a touch. You try to hold your ground as your traitorous heart pounds in your chest.
“No one has stayed the night since I’ve been with you.”
Your eyes flick around his face trying to read the truth there. You can’t spot the lie, though you still don’t fully believe it.
“She didn’t even come inside,” he carries on. “In fact, she was at my door all of ten minutes before she left. If you hadn’t driven off, you would have seen that.”
“Ok.”
“Ok?” He frowns. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Yes. You’ve explained, so, ok.”
Jungkook remains, frown between his eyes, hand still on your door. And you stare right back at him, feet planted, door not swinging open.
“I don’t understand,” he admits, voice soft.
“Right, because you expected me to jump back into your arms?” The silence tells you the answer you already knew. This man’s ego is way too big. “I guess I just realised who you are and why we don’t work together. What happened between us was a mistake and I’m sorry if you’ve been pushing girls aside for whatever reason, but you don’t have to anymore.”
Jungkook continues to look confused. It only makes you drive the message home a little stronger.
“We were never going to work. You’re you and I’m me and while we had fun, that’s all it was ever going to be. I guess I just remembered who you are and why I can’t afford to have you around me and Zac.”
Jungkook’s hand slips from the door and the look of hurt on his face almost makes you regret the words. But it’s true, isn’t it? You’re not sure what he was coming here to say, that he wanted to carry on sleeping with you for a bit longer? That you were convenient living next door and he didn’t want to give that up just yet? Aren’t the words you just said what he would have been telling you weeks down the line when you and your son were no doubt in too deep?
No. It was better you told him how it was now. It was better you ripped off the plaster. It was better you ended this now before Jungkook broke your heart. Because although you’re hurting now, although you want to drag him inside and let his explanation be enough, you know that it’ll only be worse later.
Jungkook’s hand now free from your door you see your chance.
“I’ll still see you around though,” the words feel bitter as they leave your lips and your tone lacks any conviction. “I’m still happy to lend you sugar like any other neighbour.”
Jungkook doesn’t speak, his eyes focused on something in the near distance, he looks like he’s trying to solve a puzzle or an over complex maths equation.
You swallow as his eyes finally move to yours. The frown is still there but they look dark and not in the same way they did earlier. No, the look in them now makes your stomach coil. He looks like he’s figured something out. You can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing.
You don’t give yourself long enough to figure it out. You need to be out of this situation. You need Jungkook off your doorstep. You need to make sure he doesn’t say anything to change you’re easily swayed mind.
“I’ll see you around,” you squeak and then you slam the door closed in his face.
You lean into the door as your chest rises and falls. You did it, though you doubted yourself, you told him what you’d been thinking the last week, that although you didn’t really want him out of your life, it was better he was out of it.
You don’t hear his footsteps. You don’t see his shadow move away from your door. You remain leaning on your door for a minute after closing it but you’re unaware of Jungkook leaving either. Heart in your throat, you twist and walk away, hoping that’s the last you hear from the man but knowing it won’t be.
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It starts with flowers. A big bloom that gets delivered first thing in the morning. They get shoved in your hands and the woman is walking away before you can tell them they must have got the wrong address. Your names on the card though, and when you prize it open you know who they’re from even though it’s got no signature.
You never let me finish. Let me take you out for dinner?
You bite the inside of your cheek, send a glare at your neighbour’s brick wall.
You still put them in water. You still cut their stems and arrange them and then place the large vase on your countertop. It would be a waste to throw them away. But you don’t attempt to reply to the question on the card. That, you throw away.
It takes Jungkook a few hours to text you, chasing for an answer.
Jungkook: Did you get my flowers?
Y/N: They’re yours? I thought they must have come to the wrong house.
Jungkook: Is that why you put them in that pretty vase and up on display? What did you think about the note that came with it?
Y/N: It’s in the bin where it belongs.
Jungkook: Let me take you out for dinner.
Y/N: I’m busy.
Jungkook: I never even gave you a date or time.
Y/N: I struggle getting a babysitter for Zac as it is.
Jungkook: Then let me cook for you. He can sleep while we talk.
Y/N: I really am busy Jungkook.
Jungkook: Think about it. I just want to talk.
Sure, you think, I’ll think about it. The same length of time you thought about whether you’d go and talk to him before. All of two seconds.
No, you’re not going to have dinner with him. You don’t particularly want to talk to him ever again.
Maybe it’s childish given he’s your neighbour. What he did wasn’t awful, it’s more that you know if you give him even an inch then he’ll take a mile and you’ll just let him back in. You liked having him around, you liked the help, you liked being able to talk to someone your age, you liked someone looking after you. But it’s not just about you.
You’re bound to see him around and that doesn’t mean you won’t give him a neighbourly hello and nod. That will be it. No opening up about your life. No asking to babysit. No late night drinks. No kissing on the sofa. No anything more.
You can’t even think about it. You may be pretending to be hard and over it, but Jungkook had successfully wormed his way into your life and if it wasn’t for Zac, you’d more than happily curl up in your bed and mope for a few days.
You’ve successfully been played. And it feels shit.
“Mummy,” you look over at Zac. “You’ve been sat of that sofa forever.”
He never fails to put a smile on your face. And just like you were thinking before, he successfully gets you out of your slump. You could sulk all you want in private, but with Zac around you have to set an example.
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You don’t go to Jungkook’s for dinner, instead make some half-arsed excuse as to why you can’t go. He must know you’re still pushing him away and at least this time he lets you. You get a simple reply to your text rejecting his invitation. No offers to rearranged. No accusations or callouts for your excuse. No attempt to carry on the conversation. Just an understanding message.
You’re not sure why but you feel a little disappointed. Even though it’s what you were hoping for.
It doesn’t take long for the next attack to come. This time it’s not flowers or offers of dinners but is instead small acts of kindness. Your lawn mowed without having to ask. Your bins emptied and cleaned. Your car cleaned. All things Jungkook’s done in the past and if you didn’t know him you’d find slightly creepy, but instead find endearing.
You hate that you feel that way.
His texts don’t start immediately. But when they start, they come in steady streams. There’s no pressure in any of them and while you hardly reply to any of them, they’re still said in the same tone, sweet and light. They all say pretty much the same thing, that he wants to meet to talk. But you’re not ready and you don’t want to. No matter what he says it won’t change who he is and it won’t change the fact that you’ll like slip again and you can’t afford to be with someone like that.
You see him in passing, him leaving while you’re arriving home. Again, he never pressures you into talking but always smile and waves at you.
You start to feel a little awkward. You know what he’s doing, guilt tripping you into giving in; you just don’t understand why he’s doing it. Surely he should have given up by now, surely if you’re just someone to sleep with this isn’t worth it.
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You’re sat on your front garden watching Zac cycle around when you hear his front door open. You don’t look his way, but you tense with expectation. Zac hasn’t noticed Jungkook yet, he’s still happily going in the circle you’d allowed him to, from pavement pausing to checking the silent road for a car, crossing to the other side and going around. He’s babbling about something, shouting about being chased by a dinosaur as he whizzes around.
There are three footsteps before they go silent. And you prepare for whatever he’s about to say.
It’s been close to two weeks now and while he’s been doing small but thoughtful gestures, you have successfully put off talking to him. You’ve passed him in the street a couple of time, but every time have managed with a nod and a hello, the greeting you’d wished was normal for the two of you.
He doesn’t say anything this time though, just stands wherever it is he’s stopped. You fight the urge to look at him, foot tapping on the floor as you fight to keep your eyes on Zac.
Your restrain is only so strong. When you look over your shoulder he’s already staring right at you.
Your heart stutters. Your foot stops it’s tapping. He doesn’t look angry or sad, in fact there’s a small smile on his lips. His attire is much the same as you always see, an oversize shirt with sleeves that go to his elbow, letting you see his arm full of tattoos and skinny black jeans. He’s stood on his side of the drive; you can’t even accuse him of trespassing. The only thing you could possibly tell him is that he’s being creepy. But even that would be a lie.
“Hey,” his smile widens now you’re looking at him.
You don’t reply, can barely manage a smile. Every time before now you’ve been on your way in or out. You had an excuse for a quick escape. Now, sat on your front garden, you feel trapped.
“You alright?”
And yet, Jungkook still isn’t pushing you. However big a dick he’s been or might be, he’s never forced you to speak to him. Maybe you’re the one being a bigger dick. Maybe speaking to him won’t be as bad as you think. Maybe you’ll actually like whatever it is he wants to tell you.
Just as you open your mouth to reply, Zac beats you to it.
“Jungkook!”
You wince at the name screamed across the street. It’s not the volume that causes your reaction but the pure joy in which the name is said.
You’re still focused on Jungkook’s face, trying to conceal your reaction as he looks over at Zac with a wider smile when you hear it.
A crash. Metal scraping along tarmac. Silence for a second and then a scream, the noise so much louder than the name he shouted mere seconds ago.
Eyes wide, heart pounding, your head whips away from Jungkook in the direction of the noise. Zac must have turned too soon, distracted by the sight of Jungkook he’d lost control of his bike and left the pavement too soon, only to crash and fall off the curb.
You shoot to your feet, your focus solely on your crying son who has a bike now on top of him and is calling out for you. Time seems to slow. Your feet don’t move fast enough. Zac is too far away. And even though you run faster than you ever have, you still don’t make it before Jungkook. He’s pulling the bike off your son, trying to sooth him when you get there.
You swallow the tightness in your throat, the fear creeping up your chest, as you look at your scraped up son.
“Mummy,” he wails, eyes landing on you, tears streaming down his face as blood oozes in the cuts on his palms and knees.
You reach out for him, but again, Jungkook is too fast. He lifts Zac into his arms as if he weighs nothing and then he's ever so carefully handing him over.
“It’s ok, baby,” you hold him to your chest, hand soothing his head. “You’re ok. It’s just a little cut.”
But it’s more than that. It’s the shock of the accident, it’s more than a little cut and for you, it’s the fear that it could have been a lot worse. What if a car was coming down the road when it happened? What if he’d landed differently? What if he’d hit his head? You shouldn’t have been so focused on Jungkook. You shouldn’t have let Zac cycle around all on his own, he’s still so young. You should have –
“Come on,” a warm, steady hand squeezes your shoulder. “Let’s get you two inside and cleaned up.”
You look at Jungkook, your own tears welling in your eyes. As if sensing your rising panic, Jungkook’s expression changes and the hand on your shoulder moves to your lower back. He adds a small amount of pressure and is steering you in the direction of your house.
You let him guide you. Your feet, your body, everything but Zac in your arms and Jungkook’s hand on your back cease to exist. Mind racing about what you need to do you don’t realise Jungkook’s led you into your living room until his hand leaves your back. Eyes snapping to his already retreating body, he says nothing.
Panic still rooted in you; it takes you a second to react.
You need to calm Zac down. You need to clean his wounds. You need wipes, plasters and a blanket and hot bottle of milk. You need to –
“You need to calm down,” Jungkook says lightly as he comes back. “You can’t help anyone in this state.”
Hand back on your shoulder he guides you once again, this time until the back of your knees hit the sofa and then you’re sat. You look over Zac’s shoulder to see Jungkook kneeling before you, supplies in his arms. He has a hard look on his face, one that tells you to pull yourself together. You give him a small nod as you twist Zac around to face Jungkook, his arms tighten around your neck and your heart breaks a little.
“We’re ok, aren’t we Zac?” Jungkook says lightly. “Let’s have a look at that cut.”
You swallow as you watch Jungkook’s hand and eyes go to Zac’s cut knee. He waits a second and then lets out a loud, exaggerated gasp. Zac’s head pulls out of the crook in your neck to look at Jungkook and his wide eyes. Tears are still falling down his face, but the reaction has stopped the sobs.
“Oh Zac,” Jungkook says in another dramatic tone. You know he’s joking, you just worry that Zac doesn’t know that and Jungkook’s going to do the opposite of what he’s hoping. “I think you might survive. You know why?”
Zac’s little head shakes and you can only watch as Jungkook completely takes control of the situation.
“Because you’re being so brave. I mean look at you, I don’t know anyone braver,” Jungkook’s eyes dart up to you, a small smile now playing on his face at whatever look he’s seen on your face. “Don’t you agree, mummy?”
It takes you a second, mind scrambled, but you squeeze your hands on Zac’s shoulders. “So brave.”
“See,” Jungkook says. “Now, shall we have a look at cleaning you up? You have to be extra brave for me though, and if you promise me you will, then maybe after we can have some chocolate ice cream.”
Zac head nods and Jungkook smiles widely at him. You watch as Jungkook mutters how amazing your son is being while he cleans him up, he even makes him giggle at one point.
You stroke your hand over his head and try not to let your mind spiral. Jungkook is being so good and while you have no doubt that he would never let anything that may be happening between you get between him and Zac, it’s something wholly different to see. You’re not sure what you would have done had he not been there. And while you could pin some of the blame on him, not a single part of you wants to.
You’ve treated him like crap. Ignored him when all he wanted to do was talk. And yet he’s still here, acting as if everything is ok. That doesn’t seem like something the guy you’ve been imagining in your head would do. You’ve been way too harsh.
When Zac’s all cleaned up, you do as promised. While you help him change into cleaner, less cut, clothes, Jungkook finds him some ice cream. By the time he’s all tucked up watching Moana, there’s a bit more life in his face.
You don’t say anything as you leave him to it and head to the kitchen, and you don’t say anything when Jungkook follows you. Silently you flick the kettle and pull two mugs towards you.
“Can we talk?”
It’s what he’s been asking for days, in that same unexpecting tone. You’re in no doubt that if you said you didn’t want to talk, however hard Jungkook may find that, he’d still respect your wishes.
You make him wait a little longer now. Put a tea bag in each mug before pouring the just boiled water over them. When you twist Jungkook’s leaning against your counter, the portrait of indifference, though his eyes tell a different story as they bore into you.
“What do you want to say Jungkook?” You still have to force the words out.
He seems to relax while tense all at the same time. He takes a step towards you and looks as if he’d take another before thinking better and stopping. It’s as if now, finally given the chance, he’s not quite sure what to say. Or maybe he just doesn’t know where to start.
“I’ve already been through the whole what you saw wasn’t what it looked like thing. But you never let me carry on,” he pauses, as if expecting you to stop him again now. When you don’t, he carries on. “The reason I wanted to clear things up is because I don’t want you thinking of me that way or thinking that I was for some reason using you or Zac. I really like you Y/N. It wasn’t just a fling for me, I thought you got that?”
Clearly you didn’t. You’d hoped, sure, but the minute there was even the smallest of hints to say any different, you’d jumped on it. Jungkook seems to read that even though you don’t say anything.
“Why is that so hard for you to believe?”
You shrug feeling awkward, but Jungkook waits for you to say it verbally. “Well, because I’m me and I have a son and a really messy life.”
Jungkook’s lips twitches at the edges. “You know I love Zac too, right?”
“Playing in the street is something wholly different to going out with his mum.”
“You make it sound like I’m a kid too,” he laughs. “But of course I get that.”
“He’s not always happy and playful.”
“I think we just established that.”
“Yeah, but he’s hard work and needy and rowdy.”
“Where’s the downside here?”
“Jungkook,” you warn but he just laughs and takes another step towards you, now close enough to grasp your hands and lift them between your bodies.
“I honestly get it. You two are a package deal. That doesn’t put me off.”
You struggle, look at your hands laced together. You don’t pull away from him, but you also don’t fall into his arms. Something is still hold you back.
“What is it?” Jungkook encourages.
You take a breath and then look up into his eyes. “What if you don’t always feel that way? What if one day you decide it is too hard and isn’t worth it and just leave?”
He detangles one of his hands with yours so he can reach up to cup your cheek. His eyes look so soft now, though his features look hard and set with whatever thoughts he’s thinking.
“I would never just leave you two,” he says, thumb moving over your jaw. “Listen, I can’t promise anything about the future, maybe we won’t work and if we don’t I wouldn’t just up and leave you and Zac – I live next door, I wouldn’t be able to get very far,” he tries to lighten the mood and when you let out a small laugh, he looks happy that he succeeded. “But what if we did work? What if this is it? What if we’re meant to be together? Won’t you at least give it a try?”
You can see the hope swimming in his eyes, can see the desire and the truth behind every word he’s spoken. He really means it. He wants to be with you and he doesn’t care that you’re a single mum with an over enthusiastic child, that hasn’t put him off.
And you know he’s right. You’re pushing him away on what if’s and though you may not work out, should that be enough to stop you from having happiness in the here and now?
Jungkook patiently waits the few seconds for you to mull it over, but really you’ve been a sucker all along. You wouldn’t have been able to deny him for much longer, no matter what happened.
“Ok,” you finally say and watch as Jungkook’s whole face lights up.
“Ok?” He repeats, unbelieving.
You giggle and before you can confirm it a second time his lips are on you. Hard and heavy and a whole lot of teeth, it’s not the sexiest kiss you’ve ever had but it’s definitely in your top five, even given the fact it only lasts a second.
Jungkook stays close, his hand still on your jaw, his nose nearly brushing yours, a wide toothy grin on his lips.
“Can I take you out for that meal now then?”
You can’t supress your smile even as you roll your eyes. “I’ll look for a babysitter.”
“No,” he stops you. “I want Zac to come too.”
Your heart stutters, breath caught in your chest. It’s the three of you now and Jungkook already knows how important that is to you.
You lean in to kiss him again before mumbling against his lips. “Ok.”
7K notes · View notes
jungkookschin · 1 year
Text
not so bossy
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summary: An irksome feeling infests Jungkook's system when his girlfriend lets him know that she can't meet up after not seeing him for three weeks. pairing: d1 soccer player!jungkook x reader
genre: angst, fluff
author's note: idk anything about football/soccer and yes im american so i used the term soccer 🙄lolz, also i got some inspo hearing about these famous athletes and their gfs so i pulled this out of my ass. pls enjoy (or not)! ALSO IF U HAVE ANYTHING U WANT TO TELL ME AB ANY OF MY PICS PLS PUT IT IN THE ASKS (not replies) BC THIS IS A SECONDARY BLOG
“Just because I’m not some big shot D-1 athlete doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t matter,” you grimly convey, eyebrows furrowed in pure vexation whilst your pretty lips curl down in a frown.
Jungkook exhales slightly, his pointer finger and thumb coming up to massage his temples. “Y/N, that’s not what I meant and you know it-“
“Then what the fuck did you mean?” The rapidity by which you cut him off pierces his heart like an arrow, because he’s never witnessed you being so abrasive. It hurts him to know that he’s upset you- that his inconsideration induced such a crestfallen expression from his one and only girl.
“I just didn’t want you to meet up with that guy,” Jungkook quietly explicates, unable to adeptly convey what his true intentions were: that he just missed you and didn’t want you to hang out with some other guy, even if it was just to study.
A scoff escapes your mouth, your obsidian orbs glaring bullets into him. “Jungkook, we were studying. It was for school. You of all people should understand that,” you sneer, your harsh words making his heart drop, the unpleasant feeling of guilt infesting his system, because he knows you’re right. Knows he’s been a shitty fucking boyfriend. Knows that you’ve been nothing but understanding, that you've been his personal angel ushering heaven to him, a task you accomplished everyday of every second.
Jungkook’s reticent silence tells you everything you need to know. “Don’t talk to me for the rest of the day,” you murmur quietly, though loud enough to make the words thunder in his heart. You turn your heel to walk away from him, your arms securely hugging your textbook to your chest, as if you were subconsciously shielding yourself from him. He hates that so much.
Jungkook stands frozen, unable to chase after you like he wants to. His heart is screaming at his brain make his motor system send his body after you..Instead, your figure disappears into the crowd of students flooding the hallways and he’s left there with regret plaguing his system.
How did this even happen?
Jungkook vividly remembers that dreadful text message you sent whilst he was on the bus, heading back from fall training camp.
y/n ♡: hi baby, im so so sorry. i dont think i can make it to our date tonight. this senior in my class asked me if i wanted to join a study group with him and i want to go so i do good on my final :( sorry baby.
Jungkook's lips immediately curl down at the message. Despite quite literally sharing an apartment together, he hadn't physically seen you or touched you in three weeks. With travelling out of town for a tournament for a week, and his two week long training camp immediately proceeding the tourney, he hadn't gotten the chance to come home and see you. Your absence had a deep and profound effect- he had to drown himself with intense physical training to distract himself from the fact that you weren't around.
Jungkook is a D-1 soccer player- one of the best in the nation- predicted to be one of the top picks in the first round of the Major League Soccer super draft. He takes his craft very seriously, centers most of his attention on his body and mind to refine his physical ability and ultimately become one of the best soccer players in the world. Since high school he often opted for a nasty gym session over a party, admiring Messi and Ronaldo over pretty girls, and even went to his club soccer tournaments over attending prom.
That was- until he met you.
The university you and Jungkook attended was widely renown for its impeccable soccer program- and computer science program. By God's grace was he assigned to you for a group assignment freshman year. Your face was slightly flushed when you kindly uttered "Hey, I know you're a huge athlete or something, so I don't mind carrying the project if you have to focus on sports." In reality, your intentions were selfish, solely concerned about your own grades and how this group project may cause them to fall, but Jungkook still thought it was the cutest thing ever.
He appreciated the consideration, but gently let you know that he was certainly able bodied and willing to complete the assignment. Had you not been so pretty, if the way you pushed your glasses up your face not been so adorable, he would have gladly taken the offer, not being quite privvy to anything academic related.
But you were arguably the cutest girl he's ever seen, so he was willing and eager to put in the effort.
Feelings blossomed, cavernous eyes gazed into each other and Jungkok kissed you for the first time. Seeing that you enthusiastically reciprocrating his energy, Jungkook took it as a sign that he scored the girl of his dreams. Group projects lead to late night calls and incredibly vulnerable talks in his car, then arcade dates to salacious movie nights. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend with a bouquet of the most delicately beautiful roses you've ever seen.
Jungkook thanked God everyday for your naturally compassionate nature, and for when you assuaged all his dreadful anxieties about not be an adequate and involved boyfriend. You understood that the nature of your relationship with him would not always be the most attentive- that he had no choice but to sort of neglect you when he had to travel over state and country borders for the sake of his athletic career.
You understood it and you whole heartedly offered your bona fide support.
You appeared at his games with cute red bows binding the curls in your hair, his oversized red jersey thrown perfectly over your precious abdomen. His perfect cheerleader, his number one motivator- and his teammates certainly appreciated you because he performed better when you were in the stands oggling at him with your starry eyes. He had to play better when his girl was in the crowd.
When you weren't able to be physically present at his games, you sent him the most adorable selfies of you streaming the game on your TV, laptop, or phone, going the extra mile to snag a selfie whilst Jungkook was in the frame of your device.
It really is common knowledge that Jungkook adores his girlfriend. In fact, anybody can tell by looking at the measly three photos on his verified Instagram account (courtesy of the NCAA). There was one photo of Jungkook and his teammates from a few years ago, all men have their hands on their cut and bruise heavy knees. They've got gold medals around their necks, ginger smiles on their faces after winning some summer league tournament.
The second photo was from last year when the men's soccer team at your university won the NCAA Division 1 Men's Soccer tournament, and rather than a photo with his teammates, there is one of him and you. Jungkook who was drenched in sweat from an intense yet rewarding game has his hands wrapped around your waist in the photo, leaning down and pressing a kiss on your cheek whilst you smile gleefully. His gold medal is adorned around your neck, resting on your chest rather than his. The caption reads "scored the winning goal for my number one girl", and the comments are permeated with "awwws" and "how cute!" Of course, you are slightly suspicious of the genuiniety of those comments since most of them are from girls who have a crush on him. How do you know that? You just do, consider it girlfriend intuition.
The most recent photo is simply a gorgeous photo of you at dinner. It was from his point of view- his prettiest view when you were sitting across from him enjoying your steak in a strapless black mini dress. In the photo your french manicured fingers are gripping your wine glass, the stain of your lipstick visible at the edge of the cup. The expanse of your neck is visible, making your aura all the more alluring. Your hair is in a sleek bun with the exception of the face framing pieces that dangle on the sides of your face.
You remember that day, Jungkook looked so dashing in his black button up and slacks, and when he presented you with another bouquet of red roses you melted since they were the same flowers he asked you to be his girlfriend with.
The caption is simply a black heart.
Jungkook shuts his phone off and throws it on his bed, hands rubbing his face as he groans into his palms. After you told him not to speak to you for the rest of the day, he meandered back to your shared apartment, earnestly anticipating your return home. The intoxicating scent of your vanilla body spray fills the room, making him all the more miserable.
He knows that he wasn't giving you the attention necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship, that he wasn't amply putting his share into it, but his mind was so trained on soccer that it hadn't occurred to him to check on up on you. He winces at a certain memory where he was so entranced in practicing penalty kicks that he completely forgot about your date at the pumpkin patch. He went home wondering where you were, and his heart dropped when you marched into the home, slamming the door and refusing to speak to him. After profusely apologizing and making it up to you, you later forgave him and everything returned to its usual nature.
But this time was different, because it is 2AM, and you're still not home, causing Jungkook to fall deeper into his despondency.
He spammed you with so many pleading text messages, his eyes scanning over each and everyone as his thumb scrolls further and further to the history of your shared messages.
[2:52 AM] jungkook: y/n baby im so anxious right now. please let me know where you are. i wont go to bed unless i know that you're safe. you don't need to come home or talk to me, just send me your location so that i know you're okay. im so sorry and i love you so much.
As his thumb scrolls up, his texts from earlier in the night appear.
[11:38 PM] jungkook: baby where are you? im starting to get worried about you. please come home.
[9:12 PM] jungkook: my love, the food is getting cold. if you come home we can still enjoy a meal together.
[8:24 PM] jungkook: baby, i know you're upset at me. please let me make it up to you. i cooked your favorite meal, and we can eat together once you get home. i'm here waiting for you.
A soft exhale leaves his lips, his thumb scrolling all the way back to the same stupid argument that triggered all of this.
y/n ♡: hi baby, im so so sorry. i dont think i can make it to our date tonight. this senior in my class asked me if i wanted to join a study group with him and i want to go so i do good on my final :( sorry baby.
When Jungkook first received the first message, it inevitably upset him. A grimace on his face and the furrow on his eyebrows indicated as much. He missed you so much and was looking forward to seeing you so fucking badly. He longed to feel your body against his, the thought of you keeping him up all of last night. He missed your pretty face, the vanilla scent of your soft hair, and the way you made him feel so complete. So, of course he's upset. The first thing that caught him off guard was that you were cancelling on him after three weeks apart. The second thing that caused a deeper furrow in his brows was irksome personal pronoun: him.
Were you really going to ditch him to hang out with some guy? He was trying to be understanding considering the rigor of the university's computer science program- and wanted you to do everything you could to maintain your perfect grade point average. Nonetheless, he was already pouting at the announcement of your absence.
jungkook: him?? who's this senior?? and are u sure u guys cant reschedule?? miss my girl too much
y/n♡: i miss u too, im so sorry,, it's just that this code is really fucking hard and jaebum offered to help so obvi i accepted lol
Jungkook's concern morphs into unamusement, because he is very familiar with this motherfucker. He sighs deeply, reminiscing when his teammate Hoseok approached him and informed him about a certain Jaebum making inappropriate comments about his girlfriend. Not inappropriate as in sexual, grotesque, or expletive. Had that been the case Jungkook would have beaten the shit out of the guy and risked playing the next season. The type of inappropriate Hoseok intended to express was that Jaebum was going around calling you cute- you, a girl who clearly was not single. Jungkook never explicitly told you about this, not really concerned that it would have a significant impact on your very healthy relationship, but it still displeased him.
He wasn't able to constrain his words, mentioning something when he witnessed Jaebum clearly flirting with you when he picked you up from class.
"Jungkook don't worry," you giggled. "He's just a senior in my class- he's really smart so he was giving me some homework advice."
Jungkook tensed at that. "Alright babe, just be careful."
After that, Jaebum really wasn't ever mentioned or considered. He fully trusted you so Jungkook wasn't worried, until at that very moment.
jungkook: babe
jungkook: i thought we already talked about this
jungkook: that guy literally likes you
y/n♡: ewwww lol dont put that idea in my head😭 gross
jungkook: y/n, im serious
jungkook: he really does, i can tell when someone wants u its my boyfriend intuition
y/n♡: okay baby, and if he does??? u dont trust me??
jungkook: ofc i do, but it makes me uncomfortable to know that he invited you to a “study group” , who knows what he’s planning???
jungkook: who else is gonna be there??
y/n♡: it’s just gonna be us, but i promise u u dont have anything to worry about. uk how this class has been kicking my ass.. and jaebum is the only one with an a
Jungkook uses his pointer finger and thumb to massage his temples. The thought of you and this guy studying together enkindles something vile in his system, but nonetheless he chooses to trust you since he knows how important school is to you. However this irksome feeling bubbles in his chest, and he feels like has just has to do something about it.
The next message he sends is his last attempt to assuage the undeniable burning in his chest.
jungkook: i know, can i at least come with? to make sure he doesnt do anything weird?
y/n♡: i don't think it's a good idea. i dont want things to be uncomfortable
Jungkook scowls at that. Weird? Why would him tagging along be anything of the sort? More importantly, why were you choosing to protect Jaebum’s feelings over his?
jungkook: lmao uncomfortable? are u two planning to fuck on the table or something , why would my presence make things “uncomfortable”?
Jungkook winces when his eyes train on that very ill intended text message. He knows damn well he crossed the line with that one, but your response didn’t indicate that you were upset, probably dismissing it as one of his stupid jokes.
y/n♡: jeon jungkook🙄🙄
y/n♡: i’ll see u tonight at home baby💗💗
Jungkook knows he should have left it at that, but three weeks without having you with him were so excruciating, and he longed for you so so much. He loves being an athlete; he loves playing soccer, but the intense drills and back to back games have been agonizingly tough on his body that all he wanted was to cuddle up against you in your cozy and comfy bed. Maybe have a little movie night and give you a little massage though it was his muscles that were sore and tense. But no, you had to study with some slimy guy. Consider him salty.
When the bus dropped the men’s soccer team off on campus, he bid his farewells to his teammates, and for some strange reason his legs just start walking to the library. Huh, how strange. What an anomaly it was for his feet to randomly move by themselves!
He acts very nonchalant, hands shoved into his sweats whilst he wanders between the dozens of book shelves arrayed in the campus library. Nonetheless, his eyes are rapidly shifting toward every corner in the library, in hopes that he “accidentally” runs into you.
Jackpot.
You and Jaebum are sitting adjacent to each other at an occupied table, both of your eyes trained on your Macbook screen. Jungkook puts a hand on his chin, acutely scrutinizing the situation at hand. The distance of your chairs is quite satisfactory to Jungkook- not too close, but he would appreciate it if you were further away. Jaebum is very clearly giving you a lovestruck gaze, and when he scoots his chair closer to yours Jungkook narrows his eyes.
Jaebum is such a fucking weirdo, his hand creepily advancing towards yours that is resting by the keyboard, and you are so exceedingly focused on your screen that you fail to notice. You randomly remove your hand away from where it rests on the table, and scratch your head with it. Once you turn towards him, his close proximity startles you, and you jerk your chair back in the opposite reaction, the most mortified look on your face.
Jungkook isn’t the best at reading lips, but Jaebum is currently expressing something to you, the most awestruck look on his face and Jungkook scoffs at that, clearly understanding the situation. Without thinking he advances towards you, pulling your chair back with a tight grip whilst he looks daggers into the man. “Can you please stop hitting on my girlfriend?”
Your head whips around at the voice of your boyfriend, but it goes unnoticed by Jungkook whose attention is soley on the man.
Jaebum scoots his chair back a little bit, scratching his head. “Sorry man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend-“
And before Jungkook can interject you speak up. “I’ve told you many times that I have a boyfriend- and quite frankly I’m appalled that you’re trying to make a pass toward me when we agreed that we would be studying,” you say firmly which induces a goofily proud smile to appear on Jungkook’s face.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I-I just really like you and didn’t know how else to talk to you," Jaebum elaborates in attempts to elicit some sort of sympathy from you. His attempt is entirely futile, and you ask him to leave, already vexxed by his inappropriate shot at making a pass at you.
You begrudgingly saunter behind Jungkook, the two of you leaving the library. Jungkook, who is acting under the assumption that you are annoyed by Jaebum, reaches out for your hand, falling into confusion when you rip your hand away from his.
"Babe?-" his eyes round, uneasy at your dissonance.
You exhale deeply, eyes apprehensively glancing around at anybody who may be eavesdropping. "Why the fuck did you follow me?" you whisper shout at him, hands thrown down petulantly.
"I was worried about you," he clarifies, not even bothering to claim that it was a mere coincidence. "And I missed you so much," his tone glosses over softly. He steps forward to embrace you, and the air shifts once you put your hands on his chest and push him away from you.
"Jeon Jungkook, I clearly told you that I would see you at home," you stonely enunciate.
Irritability spreading throughout his system, he scowls. "It was killing me to think about you being alone with this guy when I was missing you so much, and I told you that he liked you but you didn't listen-"
"I admit I was wrong about that, but I am also perfectly capable of handling myself." You hesitate momentarily, gathering the words before spitting them out hastily. "I think you've made it pretty clear that you don't trust me- which is seriously fucked up."
"What's fucked up is that you were hanging out alone with a guy who clearly likes you! You haven't seen your boyfriend in three weeks and chose to spend your time with some guy rather than with me!" Jungkook fires back, attracting some concerned glances from bystanders.
His postulation enrages you. "Need I remind you why I haven't seen you in three weeks?" you sarcastically inquire, eyebrows creasing in awe at the audacity of this man.
"Babe, I have to leave for soccer, you know that, so don't weaponize it against me," he coldly says, and really, all his words do is spread the indignation through your veins like a wildfire.
"I have never weaponized soccer against you, so don't you dare put fucking words in my mouth," you hiss, giving him the dirtiest look he's ever seen from you.
"I have been nothing but supportive of you. Never said shit when you're out there with a bunch of cheerleaders who like you, and with your teammates that fucking cheat on their girlfriends with those cheerleaders! Yet the moment that I prioritize my academic career over you, you pull some weird shit as if you can't trust me!" you finish, your ice colds words leaving Jungkook frozen as a sculpture, as if nitrogen replaced his blood because he realizes you're right. If he ever spend a moment in your shoes, he would lose his goddamn fucking mind because of his naturally possessive and overprotective nature.
"I'm sorry, that's not what I was trying to say," Jungkook clumsily tries to salvage himself. "I appreciate you so much for always being there for me and when I go pro I'll make it up to you. You'll be my soccer wife, and we'll have a mansion with our kids- I'll buy you whatever you want," he conveys, his feeble attempt of sewing together the cuts of the situation.
Instead of a commiserating look, you give him a look that tells him you're even more irritated.
"That's not the point! You don't get that I don't want my identity to be just Jeon Jungkook's soccer wife. I want to be my own person, have my own successful career," you frustratedly communicate. "Why do you think I'm trying so hard in this stupid fucking coding class? Because I didn't want to see you? I always want to see you, but I have to make sacrifices too. The class average is 56 and Jaebum is the only one with an A, but my life isn't as important as yours so you don't want to be sympathetic of my feelings." You finish, cooling off once you've exploded at him.
Jungkook rips away eye contact with you, looking towards another direction, feeling slightly chagrined at your legitimate display of vexation. "I guess your studying didn't seem as important to me at the time," he abashedly murmurs.
“Just because I’m not some big shot D-1 athlete doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t matter," is how you retort, leaving the situation full circle.
Now, it's 3 AM, and you're still not home. Jungkook feels himself falling into a pit of dilapidation and guilt, feeling so remorseful of how shitty he's been. You truly are his super woman, because he's positively sure that he wouldn't be able to handle it if you did what he had to do on a regular basis. He couldn't even handle it when you were studying with another man, let alone travelling and leaving him at home by himself.
The apartment simply feels so empty, and it makes him feel all the more lonely. When he walks into your shared bathroom, his eyes glossing over your cosmetics and skin care products, he becomes absolutely miserable. Debilitatingly picking up your moisturerizer, he squeezes the bottle, product falling falling into his hand. He looks into the mirror and rubs the ointment into his skin, sighing exasperatingly because he wishes you were standing by his side.
The sound of the door suddenly creaks open, and Jungkook rushes into the living room thinking that you may have returned home. His face immediately falls when Jimin marches into his apartment.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jungkook deadpans.
Removing his shoes at the front of the house, Jimin scoffs. "Why'd you leave your door unlocked at 3 AM?"
Jimin plops down at the dining table, picking at the food Jungkook meticulously prepared for you. "This shit is cold as hell," he mumbles before grabbing the plate and shoving it into the microwave. Jungkook doesn't say anything, just grinds his teeth whilst he lays down on the couch.
"Y/N's not home?" Jimin questions with a mouth full of steak.
"No," Jungkook quietly mumbles, dejected and losing hope that you would return home that night.
"I ran into her a few hours ago," Jimin states casually, causing Jungkook to robotically spring up like a zombie and join Jimin at the dining table. "Where?" Jungkook asks like a crazy man, eyes wide, his veins protruding through the whites in his eyes. Jimin gives his friend a distasteful look before protectively covering the food Jungkook made. Jimin analyzes the situation carefully before it dawns on him that you aren't around.
"She's still not home yet?" Jimin asks, concern spreading throughout his face.
"No," Jungkook squeaks out, discouraged by everything before he bangs his head on the dining room table.
"I ran into her at the mall," Jimin says, attempting to provide some comfort to his younger friend. "We looked around a little bit, but I had to go pick my brother up and then I dropped her off at the gym."
Jungkook pauses, owlishly blanking into space whilst he takes a few moments to fully comprehend what just zoomed past his ears. The sleep deprivation and exhaustion is seriously hindering his cognitive function, but he just can't sleep until he knows that you're safe. "Huh?"
Jimin sighs, rolling his eyes before repeating what he just said. He raises his palm to smack the back of Jungkook's neck, which elicits a gruesome glare from the younger one.
"I ran into your girlfriend at the mall. We looked at the dinosaur exhibit. I dropped her off at the gym," Jimin firmly enunciates.
Apparently this computes more briskly than the first time. "The gym?" Jungkook asks, an amusing look of confusion hazed on his face.
"Yes," Jimin replies, frowning at Jungkook's sluggish responses.
"She went by herself?"
"I don't know," Jimin responds, a hinge of more empathy in his voice. "She said something about a personal trainer but I have no clue what she was doing."
An exasperating sigh leaves Jungkook's lips, too much information for his fatigued brain to compute. He didn't even know you had damn personal trainer- you don't even need a fucking personal trainer when your boyfriend is one of quite literally a D-1 athlete. It's not something he wants to even think about, the prospect of him being a shitty boyfriend plaguing his mind even more.
Jimin's eyebrows furrow in concern for his younger friend, and his hand gingerly pats his friend's rock hard back. "Do you want me to stay the night? Or stay at least until she gets back?" he suggests whilst the younger one buries his handsome face into his large palms.
"Please," Jungkook mutters.
Your unexpected entrance proves that Jimin's request was unecessary, because you casually waltz back into the apartment, making Jungkook practically whip his head towards the sound of the opening door.
"Jimin?" you jabber, a little startled at his unanticipated presence.
"Oh hey Y/N!" Jimin greets you more awkwardly than he ever has before, as if he interrupted something though he was there first. "How was the gym?" he releases a sheepish chuckle, and you internally cringe at his overt display of politeness.
"Oh, um. It was good. Are you planning on spending the night?" you ask, slipping your shoes off as you join the two at the dining table.
"Pshhh, no. Absolutely not! I gotta head home.." his eyes erroneously shift all over the room, poorly concealing how clearly he wants to leave. "Right about.." his head whips down at the non existent watch on his wrist. "Now!" He scoots the chair out and -for some reason- he tiptoes out of the house, bidding you and your boyfriend a farewell as he gently closes the comically creaking door.
You look towards your beloved, Jungkook looking dejectedly at his twiddling hands, avoiding eye contact with you. A soft exhale leaves your lips and you plant your palms on the table, getting up before you approach him. Even when he's sitting down at your wooden dining room chairs, he's only a little bit smaller than you- training and the gym have done him well. This profound emotion of tenderness rushes into your heart, and you bend down, placing a tentative and delicate kiss on his fragile cheeks.
"Wanna come with me to the bedroom?" you ask, gentleness lacing your voice at to hopefully assuage the vulnerability of the situation. It is undeniably true that you were upset- even livid at him, but after mulling it over you realized that he is your one and only. If anybody was deserving of your empathy, it was him.
You stride to the bedroom, settling down on the side of your bed with your big hunk of a boyfriend mimicing your actions like a little puppy.
"I made us bracelets," you blurt out hands digging into your pockets, before you pull out two identical bracelets dangling from your fingertips. The bracelets were childlike at best; you used black plastic beads and yarn, the same type of shit toddlers use in pre school when they learn how to do basic things like cut in zig zag lines. The bracelets are mostly made up of black beads, with a pink heart bead in the center of them.
Your fingers wrap around your boyfriend's larger hands, and you gingerly slide his bracelet on his dainty wrists. You suppose you overestimated the circumference of his wrist, because it hangs off his wrist like a necklace.
Jungkook still hasn't said anything, but finally looks up, and your eyes meet his glossy ones.
When you realize that he's crying, you hand cups his cheek, and you use your thumb to wipe the tears that cascade down his handsome face. "No no no," You're panicked at his sullen state. "Don't cry," you express desperately. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry."
Jungkook gazes at you so intimately and intensely, and he feels as if all his resolve breaks now that you are finally in front of him.
"I-I just didn't want to lose you," Anguish laces his voice, and he sounds so desperate that it makes it feel like your heart is being ripped into pieces. "Thought I was gonna lose you," he whispers, and you're compelled to just hug him- so you turn to him and wrap your arms around his neck, and his automatically snake around your waist, so naturally- like this action was done so out of muscle memory.
He holds you tightly, like he never wants to let go of you, of this. He holds you like he's found his sweet solace in your embrace. His neck finds comfort in the crook of your neck whilst he pours his emotions out into your honeydew skin.
"I can't believe you still love me."
"I can't believe you made me a fucking bracelet even after everything. You're so sweet, so perfect."
"I don't deserve you- you mean everything to me. I swear I'll make everything up to you, just give me one more chance."
You pull back at his words, a concerned haze painted on your face. You settle on your knees to meet him at equal eye contact. "Did you think I was gonna dump you?"
Jungkook tears away his eyes from yours. "I don't know. I thought you were getting sick of me- I guess," and the
You sigh, shifting your weight backwards so that your ass rests on your heels. You gnaw on your bottom lip, finding the right words to say. "Jungkook," you begin, conjuring the courage to verbalize everything you've been itching to say. "I... I have never loved anybody as much as I love you." You inhale, nostrils flaring slightly before you continue your somewhat clumsy attempt to bandage everything.
You speak very steadily so that he can fully digest what you are about to say. "And I don't love you because you're a soccer player, or because you're verified on Instagram, or because you're ESPN thinks you're going to be super successful. I love you because you're you."
Jungkook's undeniable heartbeat is pounding, so loud that he can hear it in his ears. Love. Your love is interpermeating his being, seizing control of him completely and fully. There are no words that can properly encapsulate how he feels. Just Love. Love times a million. "Y/N-"
"Just shut up and let me talk," you cut him off, preparing once again to regurgitate your feelings.
"I just love you so much, and because I love you, I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. You just have to trust me, even if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm an adult- I know what I'm doing."
Jungkook purses his lips perceptively, nodding ever so carefully at your simple yet overflowing explanation.
"It just hurts me that you felt like you couldn't trust me enough to be alone with him. I know I was wrong for not trusting you when you said he liked me, but even if he were to make a move on me, I would never reciprocate or encourage that behavior. I put so much trust in you, and I really want you to work towards putting that same trust in me. And.. I'm sorry for throwing a temper tantrum, I was just embarrassed I guess. "
Jungkook grabs your hand as if the moment is fleeting, his already soft expression softening impossibly more at the sincerity of your words. He holds your hand to his chest, and you can hear the rapid beating of his heart.
"I understand," he automatically expresses, which concerns you because his answer was almost too immediate. You're not sure if he's properly digesting what you are trying to communicate.
"I was just super frustrated- I missed you so much and thinking of you and that guy was killing me. I trust you, but what if he did something to you?" The disclosure of his authentic feelings relieves any doubts you had about the immediacy of his answer.
"Babe, I'm not an idiot," you reply. "I have a taser and it's not like we were in the woods in the middle of the night," you point out which elicits a soft chuckle from Jungkook.
"You're right baby, my girl's a genius," he leans in and presses a familiar and delicate kiss to your bottom lip, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. When he pulls away you're left with a lingering feeling of longing, and he beams at you.
"You just gotta be patient with me, but I swear I'll try to be less," Jungkook takes a moment to find the right word. "Overbearing."
You give Jungkook a pursed smile and nod your head. Before you can respond he presses another delicate kiss to your lips. Though the kiss is fleeting, it's as if your lips mold together perfectly because he knows you and your lips the best. "Thank you for being you," he presses his forehead against your, mumbling against your lips, the utmost sincerity in his voice. "I love you, so so much," he says, hot breath palpable against your lips. "Thank you so much for everything you do. Thank you for understanding, for loving me. You're just- just perfect, perfect for me. Made for me, and I love you so much." His emotions overwhelm him, and his eyes become glossy. "My love for you scares me. The thought of you leaving terrifies me so much, and if you did, I don’t think I would ever recover,” his words are delicate, fragile like he’s a butterfly that could fly away at any moment. It was up to you to keel him grounded.
You close your eyes, savoring the moment of him being so close. " 'm not going anywhere," you hum into his lips, and he sighs blissfully, snuggling more into your protective embrace.
That night, you fall asleep on his chest, his arms instinctively wrapped around you for the entirety of the night.
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luvyunjinxo · 7 months
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I'll make you feel better || jang wonyoung g!p x fem!reader
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CW: mentions of cheating (do not cheat ever it's just for this fic 😡), g!p wonyoung, body worship, toxic relationship mentions, squirting & not proofread lmk if I missed one! (kinda longer than my usual fics btw)
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you felt awful. walls felt like they were caving in and your emotions were taking over, not to mention it felt like your life was over. you had just walked into your newly ex-boyfriend cheating.
for context, you just got off of work texting wonyoung saying how happy you were to finally see him after a long day. BUT. you and wonyoung had this thing. It was a type of tension between each other, something that you and him never had. You felt it, and she did too. yet, you denied your feelings for her always because you knew it was wrong.
continuing, you walked into your shared apartment with him and heard noises more like groaning coming from your room? You honestly thought it was just him jacking off or something which you were honestly excited for but instead you saw something else.
your heart sunk, broke, and suddenly you're on the floor. crying and screaming out curses "why would you do this to me!?"
"baby please, it's not what it looks like." he lied. what a fucking liar. he was literally just fucking a girl on the bed two seconds ago like crazy.
"I just felt lonely without you here, I love you so so much." he screamed back while trying to kiss your hands. cringey and pathetic. you told him that he was kicked out and never to come back to your place again, since you were technically the one who bought it for both of you.
he packed his stuff and left for good. blocking his number, throwing out his toothbrush and everything else he forgot. you were a mess and you could tell, so was he. but who the fuck cares he cheated?
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the next day now, still not doing well. you were forced to go to college by your strict parents so you had nothing to do but comply, and just go. You didn't tell wonyoung about what happened yet but you were planning to. you showed up to the class you had to go to which apparently wonyoung was in too.
now was finally the chance to tell her. she sat next to you like always, exchanging secrets always. but this time it was different. She looked at your eyes while she sat down and saw your red eyes and eye bags.
she was so worried about you. she really did love you. she didn't tell you, yet but she has a big crush on you but you just couldn't realize it fully. she scooted closer to you and tucked your hair behind your ear. with that she also lifted up your chin with her finger just so you could look at her. "butterflies😻" was all you could think of in your head.
"whats wrong y/nnie? what happened to you?"
"I d-didn't tell you yet but, he cheated as soon as I got home yesterday andicouldntcallyoubecauseiwasacryingmessand-"
you were talking to fast and you got cut off with her finger going on your lips. tears were threatening to fall out any moment now just by talking ab this topic.
too late. you were already crying so hard that you ran to the bathroom without notice and had wonyoung running after you like a crazy person.
guys this was like a k-drama really. running through the wide halls of the college and finally finding a bathroom at least 2 minutes away, you have slowed down. wonyoung caught up to you eventually as your pace slowed.
now walking there together to clean you up, you both made it and got 10 tissues. It was a cute moment:( . wonyoung looking at you straight in the eyes while wiping your tears with the tissue.
you were against the wall right next to the sink still crying and sniffing. There was that tension again. both of you now looking each other deeply. you got lost in her beautiful eyes.
you swear she was about to go in for it. getting more bold and eager she stopped wiping your tears and went to focusing on your soft lips that stood out to her the most. this was so bad. just getting out of a relationship and already falling for someone new.
all you needed right now was wonyoung. and wonyoung needed you. she now has trapped you with both of her arms, one on the left and one on the right so you could not escape from her.
"y/n, I know you feel this between us and I'm letting you know I'm about to do something to make you feel good."
you nodded eagerly as she smashed her lips onto yours. making out deeply. and shit, she was so pretty. moans slipped out of your lips as your tongues fight for dominance and wonnie being a switch, she still won.
realizing you were making out in the bathroom made it hotter for you. the feeling of getting caught frightened you, but who cares at this point.
you pulled away with a string of saliva leaving both of your lips. "you know were gonna get in trouble by the professor right?"
"yeah I know. but its worth it." she smirked, took your hand and lead you to her car.
you didn't know where she was driving to but I guess it was your apartment. one hand on the wheel while the other is gripping your thigh. THAT WAS SO HOT TO YOU.
it was supposed to be an innocent make-out session but now your starting to feel things. your getting more drenched and wet you just couldn't help but think about all the stuff she could do to you right now. and if she did you would gladly let her. god, you were such a loser for her.
on the way to your apartment unlocking your door with your keys, you bent down to take your shoes off and place them on your rack. she couldn't help but seem to notice and slap your ass<3. sorry just had to say it because she actually did. your dumbass let out a moan because of how needy you were. any touch from wonyoung would sink into your horniness.
"was that a moan l/n y/n?" she smacks your ass again, you covering your mouth trying not to make any noise this time.
"no let it out?.. I wanna hear you." one last slap and being the loser you are for her, the loudest moan possible slipped out.
no questions asked, you were now being pushed onto the bed while she crawled over your body, topping you.
wonyoung stripping you completely but also pinning your hands above your head.
"you look so pretty like this y/n, you were always mine in the first place not his." she says while brushing your torso with her slender hand admiring your body.
she was touching you so well. the places where you were sensitive at most. She started to kiss your neck sloppily, leaving marks all around you so everyone knows your hers now. all you could do is lay back and love what she is doing to you.
"wait y/n .. can y-you uhm ride my face? .." awh how cute. she was being shy for once. no questions asked again, you complied and sat on her face slowly, not wanting to suffocate her.
"fuck! wonyoung thats s-so fast!" you screamed out as her tongue kept flicking up and down in a consistent pace which left you a mess. you were moaning so much the neighbors could hear you at that point.
"yeah, can he fuck you like this? hm?"she groaned in a husky voice, also a little mumbly because of your thighs making her suffocated.
"I-I .. no .." funny how you can't breathe because of her fucking your brains out so good.
still eating you out, she has pulled down her baggy jeans to pull out her cock. shitttt, you had to admit you wanted some of that. she got off to the thought of you coming all over her face and the thought of you moaning her names and dirty stuff you could never imagine.
You looked behind only to see her getting off to your moaning and so much precum was dripping out from her.
"ive b-been waiting so long f-for this, please I'll be good for y-you and only you." you sobbed.
"I'm really gonna c-come!" screaming out loud so everyone could hear you at this point.
"sh-shit your body is stunning. i-im coming too!" you were confused and didnt know where that compliment came from but all you know is that you were squirting all over Jang Wonyoung's face ..
you immediately collapsed onto her titties which led to you sucking them while she started to ride out of her orgasm.
"looks like you need help cleaning up a little?" wonyoung chuckled and nod making you give her head.
your tiny mouth was swirling over the tip eating all her cum. so sweet yet so bitter, just how you liked it. she didn't like the way you were teasing her so she pushed your head down a little farther making you gag. all good though because you made her cum again<3.
while you guys were all cleaned up again and under the sheets together naked, you cuddled and confessed to each other in the endd. it all worked out.
- I'll make you feel better.
I'm sorry if this was rushed because it def was 💔
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peachy-wolfhard · 21 days
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dating yuta okkotsu
a/n: wowzers more than one post a year??? also HAPPY BDAY YUTA LUB U BABYBOY
Warnings: swearing, sims death, yuta gets elbowed accidentally, a little angst
Word Count: 823
My literal bf
He's so in love
Heart eyes whenever someone even slightly mentions you
Yuta will be talking to someone and if they slightly mention something you like he starts rambling about how amazing you are and how much he loves you while blushing and borderline giggling and kicking his feet
He's so sticky too like anything you do he's right there like a shadow
Yuta is also really quiet when he is being your shadow so 99% of the time he ends up scaring you when you turn around 
One time after a mission, you're nerves were still on edge and Yuta just happened to walk behind you and ended up getting an elbow to the eye (Rika beat ur ass sorry)
Yuta isn't that big of a gamer himself but he LOVES to watch you play the sims, especially if you made you and him
Speaking of the Sims ! Whenever Yuta is away for missions you always update him about what's going on
hi yu! Update ab our sims…OUR SON DIED HE DIED IN A FIRE IM SO SAD!!!!!! BUT ITS OK WE CAN MAKE A NEW ONE ;) wink wink anyway we moved to a farm and ITS HAUNTED. ok bye bye baby ilysm MWAH
VOICE MESSAGES!! Yuta can't get enough of them he loves sending them to you and he loves when you send them
yuta
“Hi honey, I just saw a really cute cat that reminded me of you. I swear it looked almost one hundred percent like you, not even joking…ok i gotta go bye i love you!”
Facetimes are another thing that is pretty regular. Its either you walking around campus showing him to all your friends or him show you around wherever he is
“Yuta, look at these freaks. They’re going crazy without you here…me too honestly”
“I know I'm losing my mind not being around you guys but especially you.”
Another thing he loves is sending random pictures to each other
*picture of yuta being cute* 
y/n
OMG IM SOBBING MWAH MWAH IM GONNA EAT U I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND
*picture of you doing something*
yuta
Cries sobs screams throws up I MISS UUUUUUUUUU <333333 :333
ONE LAST THING
Yuta barely uses emojis, he's an emoticon boy :3
He always brings you presents back from wherever they send him
There's always a big dramatic reunion when he returns. Running into each other's arms, fake loud crying, one of you carrying the other (translation: you carrying Yuta) …the works
Nights after he gets home are very chill. Ordering take out and watching reality tv while just enjoying each other's company. Ending the night by cuddling each other to sleep
Yuta has a note in his notes app of EVERYTHING you like and dislike
Everytime you slightly mention something you like or dislike he makes a mental note to write it down
Even if he doesn't write something down, he memorized it. Remembers what kind of candy you like, what your favorite flowers are, your orders from take out and restaurants
While your guys relationship is lovely and amazing it does get hard sometimes with Yuta always being gone and you having missions and school
Going days without hearing from the other because the two of you are so stressed and busy then having to update each other all at once in one message then repeating the process
Trying to facetime each other but when he's in an entirely different timezone it's hard. You'll be almost asleep and his day is just starting
After a while it started to get to you, that your boyfriend was away for so long, you weren't able to see him, and when you were you had to prepare for him to leave just a few weeks after
Even though you were surrounded by your friends and teachers that love you, you felt so lonely
Finally you talked to him about it, about how all his traveling made you feel so alone and he agreed with you. That he too felt so alone (because most of the time he was) and that he just wanted to stay home for at least a year
Loves snuggling with you but only in private (Maki beat his ass)
Holds you so close at night to the point it feels like he's trying to get into your skin
Seems like the type to either wear minimal clothes to bed or pajama sets, no in between
Kicks the blankets off then curls up to you when he inevitably gets cold
Yes he's very sweet but he still likes to mess with you ESPECIALLY at night
His favorite thing to do is putting his cold hands or feet on you and asking “are my feet/hands cold”
ONE LAST THING
He 100% gets you guys those Lego roses so you can build them together
Overall he very much loves you and cant get enough of you
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apparentlytheproblem · 7 months
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credit: @blackthunder137
[literal inspiration to write for Theo]
T H E O D O R E N O T T M A S T E R L I S T
alluring
Theodore nott x Gryffindor fem
Reader its fluufy and has soft smut or atleast what you'd say as foreplay? idk anymore. you're reading on his lap while he’s leaning against the bedpost reading with her holding the book and turing the pages and she just traces his arm veins while they read (and if you decide to make it smutty pls make the reader LOVE LOVE LOVE his hands, abs, arm viens
[by annon btw]
warnings-
mf this is an advanced apology, i've never written smut. i've never even held someone's hand romantically, hell, i can't even keep eye contact, soft smut, fluffy, vulgar language, they both are minors, no protection is mentioned, it might make you uncomfortable, the reading of smut, the writing of smut
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jealousy
Theodore Nott, the king of the hearts of the innocent with all his pride which no one could strip from him, all the power which no one could touch, the one so high from all, that no one would play against his will.
then why oh why was everything he had built for himself, his charm, his walls, his cool, all fumbling and crumbling beneath him when you arrived? you weren't his girlfriend, why should he care what you did or with who you did. he shouldn't be bothered. But it did
warnings-
jealous, possessive, heartbroken reader, mention of sex? idk what y'all want from me anymore
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scribbles
Theodore Nott was one to always jolt it down, didn't matter if it was a number, a lyric in the back of his head, people's conversations or random ingredients, he'd just write it down till all its memory was shifted to the ink of his quill. But no matter how many times dear Theo has scribbled your name down, he couldn't have peace from you
warnings-
Mr. simp Thedore Nott, reader knowing about theo's feelings, soft and blushy Theo, hopeless romantic is all i have to say
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perfection
The readers on her phone relaxing after spending all Saturday on homework, and she opens tiktok and watches edits edits of her boyfriend and watches some for like hours and then he walks in- (stay with me bestie-) and she dosent notice, and she’s gotten really horny, needy and turned on *cough* maybe she goes on character ai to try to make her miss him less and she’s just super horny- he sees her watching edits of him and it’s just super smutty? [by annon]
warnings-
modern au, he's famous, smut, undergarments [help], previously annoyed reader, sitting on his face-, what are you even doing here? go study or touch grass or smthn
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flwrboi · 8 months
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particular — i.cy
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pairing. im changkyun x male reader
genre. smut
summary. another long day of work leads to a horny mood, thankfully you have a (slightly odd but extremely sexy) boyfriend who's always willing to help you out.
includes. car sex, semi-public sex, slight voyeurism, masturbation, cum eating, unprotected sex ( dont irl !! )
WC. 1.7k
°A/N. . . ok this is literally so random it was just an old draft i started literally last year ?? but i just had to finish it bc wow i forgot how much i love chankgyun and i hope u guys like this !!
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everybody usually labeled your boyfriend as a bit of a freak, but you just liked to think of him as selective about what he liked when it came to sex.
despite his horny tendencies, changkyun had never done anything outlandish or unheard of before with you - shit, he was hardly even open to trying new things. he simply knew what he liked, despite how specific some of his turn ons were. you understood that, and he always appreciated how open you were to his desires.
just like now, as you sat in the passenger seat of his car – your pants long discarded as you palmed your exposed member while he watched you with intense eyes.
you woke up in an uncharacteristically needy mood today, dropping hints as soon as he picked you up from your barista job. changkyun could feel the desire radiating off of you in waves the minute you laid your eyes on him, the way his fitted black gym shirt up clung to his chiseled torso stirring a fire in your gut. it was unlike you, but you practically begged to have him before he could fully drive down the street. and who would he be to tell his favorite boy no in that moment?
he just wanted you to do a thing or two for him first.
for some reason, changkyun loved to fuck you after seeing you reach your climax first. something about how spent you would be just ignited him in a blaze, pounding into you extra passionately afterwards... every single time. 
so you didn’t hesitate for a second when he asked to see you pleasure yourself until your first orgasm, then he would touch you. you obliged, immediately throwing your head against the seat rest from a couple strokes to your cock. 
but before you knew it, you had been at it for 10 minutes, unable to get yourself climaxing despite your needy state. your hands simply never felt quite the same as changkyuns larger, warmer, and much more experienced ones. your wrist was starting to cramp after putting in so much effort to no avail, groaning out of frustration when you saw changkyun begin to palm himself over his gym shorts.
you were sickeningly turned on at how aroused he was getting at your frustration. you had always needed his help with nearly everything, especially when it came to sex, so you were always so pliant and obedient — and fuck did it turn him on.
“kyun, i need you so bad, please.” you whined, feeling overwhelmed with the hunger that he stared at you with as you played with your throbbing length.
changkgun’s jaw clenched for a second before he slowly licked his bottom lip, watching your hands run along your cock. he didn’t even want to blink and risk missing a second of the beautiful sight before him.
“you’re doing good, baby, keep going.” he sternly encouraged, voice so deep it caused you to whimper with more want. his eyes shot up to yours for a second, darker than ever. “are you close?”
“mm mm,” you mewled in response, gaze dropping to his erect nipples poking through his dry-fit shirt. you stroked yourself deeper, remembering what he looked like underneath the thin fabric. “let see your abs, please.”
the ever-so-cocky grin that you were used to grew across changkyuns face. and as annoying as it was, you fucking loved it.
he’d been working out so much at home lately, and it showed more as the days went on. you would always watch in perverted silence, eyes fixated on his back muscles as he did pull ups on your bedroom doorframe. the way his round shoulders were forming, tan thighs growing more muscular, and of course that torso being shaped by the gods - there was hardly a time that he’d be doing his sit ups in the living room that wouldn’t end in you two getting some extra cardio in on the couch after.
changkyun complied to your request all too easily, reaching down to drag the hem of the shirt slowly upwards. the material slid up and bunched around his broad chest, bronze chiseled abs glaring right back at you.
he must’ve just finished working out before picking you up from work, as there was still a thin sheen of sweat reflecting off the grooves of his muscles. you just wanted to cum all over them right then and there, and to lick it off after without a care in the world.
and that was all it took. the thought alone activated a long whine out of you as you squirted all over yourself, ropes of your white essence shooting up onto your stomach and thankfully missing your uniform shirt by a smidge.
you felt a little out of breath already, but the marveling in changkyun’s eyes gave you all the boost you needed. you didn’t bother discarding your shirt as you scrambled into his lap, back accidentally honking the horn in the process. you’d didnt give a damn.
“there, will you kiss me now?” your voice sounding much more desperate than you wanted it to.
changkyun offered you another smirk before slightly lifting your shirt and scooping some of your arousal off your stomach with two fingers. you didn’t need any instruction as you opened your mouth, excitement stirring in your bones.
your boyfriend’s eyes struck in a trance as he rubbed his fingers along your tongue, spreading your salty love liquids around to his liking. his free hand held you firmly in place by your neck. you took the opportunity to suck on his digits for just a moment before he pulled them away.
your tongue protruded out to show chankgyun his work, prompting a deep groan out of him.
“that’s my boy…” he finally mumbled before surging forward, finally soothing your aching lips with his own.
the kiss was deep, full of hunger as changkyun wasted no time in slipping his tongue in to mingle with yours. he took his time tasting you, collecting the smeared essence off your tongue to take for himself. he was so noisy today, as another one of his moans shook you to your core, and you were thankful to be perched on his lap... otherwise your knees would’ve given out immediately.
you were growing drunk on his sloppy open mouthed kisses, feeling along those godly abs before you forced yourself to pull away - unable to hold in your final request any longer.
“changkyun,” you huffed, “please fuck me.”
the dark haired man laughed at your already desperate state, warm hands encasing both sides of your hips securely as he looked you up and down.
“i don’t know, prince, right here and now? you’re already so sensitive, i’m not sure if you could handle it.” he mocked, experimentally rolling his hips up into you.
the thin material of his workout shorts boldly exposed how rock hard his bulge was already. he felt so, so big and it sent your mind reeling. your eyes rolled back when you rocked your hips down into him in response, clutching his broad shoulders.
“let me try.” you cried out, reconnecting your lips before he could form a reply.
after the two of you shared a hot, needy make out session for a couple minutes, changkyun skillfully removed both of your clothes before you could notice.
his teeth ran teasingly along the column of your neck before he passionately sucked on your adams apple, flipping you over and lowering the seat back. you moaned as you ran your hands down the expanse of his exposed melanated back, the valleys of his toned muscles sending you into a haze.
chankgyun made sure to leave an array of pretty little marks all over your neck before finally ridding himself of his underwear and fishing the small bottle of lube out from the center consul.
he laughed to himself, realizing that normal couples probably wouldn't keep something so vulgar brazenly in their car. but the man learned quickly that he had done it to himself; after corrupting you for the first time, you had become such an insatiable little thing.
when both you and he were finally prepped, he teasingly prodded his thick head against your entrance.
“i’m going in, baby boy. hold on tight.” he spoke.
his teasing actions caused you to already clench around nothing, but you tried to will yourself to relax. he slowly pushed in, and you couldn't even attempt holding your noises in. not like he would want you to anyways.
changkyun's ego would always skyrocket every time he heard how good he made you feel. his favorite would be times just like this, when you were in your most fucked out state just babbling over how much you loved him and his huge, skillful dick.
you clung to your boyfriend tighter as he ground his hips into you rhythmically, taking you to the stars and back right there in his driver's seat.
it didn't take much for you to announce your second orgasm, the sensation hurdling towards you as changkyun relentlessly pounded into you with a starved passion.
when the blissful relief washed over you, once again coming all over you and changkyun's stomach, he couldn't even warn you of his own climax as the fluttering of your walls began milking him dry as well. he wanted to bite down on your collarbone but refused to look away at how cute your scrunched up face looked, loving that he was the reason for your ecstacy.
changkyun tried to still his head from dizzying, groaning as he watched his own come begin leaking down your leg. he went to grab napkins from his consul, but you stopped him immediately, pulling him back on top of you for one more deep kiss.
you just wanted the both of you to rest in that moment, so fucked out that you didn't feel like moving despite the stickiness forming between the both of you.
your boyfriend chuckled as he lowered himself to your ear, pecking your cheeks a couple times.
"ok, 5 minutes babe. but then we have to get out of this parking lot, your job has cameras."
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© 𝐟𝐥𝐰𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐢 — all rights reserved
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runningfrom2am · 2 months
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cold nights // part sixteen
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summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.3k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.
a/n: i am so excited for you guys to see everything I've got coming up for this series- ah!! also, should i post the masterlist for requiem soon?? i can't post the first part just yet, but i'm excited ab it so let me know if you guys want to see that to be able to get the vibes and stuff!
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist
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"Hello there, Miss." Coryo grins at you, extending his arm to you to hold as you step out of your house and close the door behind you.
You pretend not to see, reaching down to retie your shoe which was already laced up perfectly. "Hi." You reply quietly, and his smile fades. You already seem in weaker spirits than you were this afternoon.
"Did you enjoy your nap?" He asks as you stand up straight again, making your way down the front path of your house to the street and he follows like a stray dog.
You turn when you reach the road, looking at him only briefly. "I did. Thank you." You mumble, unable to make extended eye contact without your heart beating out of your chest. It was hard to tell if you were awake or asleep when he was around.
"That's good." He nods, joining your side. He's there to walk you to The Hob, but he honestly was relying more on you to guide the way.
You don't say anything, walking with your arms crossed carefully, protectively across your midsection.
Coryo is worried, but he does know that you don't want to walk alone at night, so he tries to convince himself it's just that. Not him.
"You, uhm, you look nice." He tells you, taking notice of your change of clothes. It was refreshing to see you in something other than that short dress with the sewn-in shorts, though with the longer skirts you had worn today, it covered much more of your skin. Part of him missed the short dress that was now most definitely unwearable. It was your favourite, he remembered.
"Thank you." You say back, the hair on your arms pricking up from the chill that was starting to settle in. It wasn't a cold night, you didn't think, but colder than Twelve often saw in mid-August. Maybe it was just you. "You do, as well."
He laughs, and you look at him for the first time tonight. His blue eyes shine with the reflection of the sunset, and you're no longer cursing yourself for trusting him to walk you this afternoon. He wouldn't hurt you, and you knew that. Stupid dreams. Stupid nightmares. He saved you- he's the only reason you're alive today, you're certain.
"We're trying to blend in, Sejanus thought we were scaring people." He explains, laughter subsiding.
You smile at him. "I was going to say, that style doesn't feel like your own." You giggle. "But I like it."
"Why, thank you." He grins, tugging on the front of his white t-shirt as if he was adjusting a suit jacket.
Your dreams were just dreams. If he had that evil in him, could you live with it? That was what you had to figure out. Right now, though, with you, that darkness was nowhere to be seen. You were awake. You must be.
"How has Twelve been treating you so far?" You ask, suddenly self-conscious of his impression of your home as your feet crunch over the gravel path beneath you.
"Okay." Coryo shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It was hard to find someone to talk to us long enough to get a lead on where to find you."
"People tend to keep to themselves." You explain. "Also looking for me is an odd request."
"Why?"
Now it was your turn to shrug. "No one really wants to talk to me now, either." The stares you got were seemingly endless. People would stare, point, whisper, and it didn't particularly bother you, but you hated that maybe people were afraid. You feared that everyone thought the games turned you into something fragile, and they were scared of upsetting you with the wrong words or the alternative; you were a weapon ready to explode at any moment.
"That's because people are careless and cruel." Coryo replies, no hesitation behind his tone. "And they have no way of understanding... you."
"They're good people, honestly, I just-"
"I know that." He assures you, sensing your panic. "But it's not your place to prove to them who you are. Changed or not."
"Do you think I have changed?" You ask, genuinely curious despite the softness of your voice.
Coryo is quiet for a moment. "I would say no," He looks at you as you walk alongside him. "but you have, I think. There's more to you, now."
You chew on your lip, watching your steps as you pass under the streetlights.
He watches your reaction, nervous when you don't respond. "I don't mean that in a bad way." He clarifies. "To me, you're still you." He wants to tell you you're less naive, more experienced, that it will keep you safe, but he feels as though that wouldn't be the right thing to say. "But it's impossible to walk out of that arena the same person. We have that in common."
The flickering street lamps illuminate the blush on your cheeks for just a moment. "Thank you, Coryo. That means a great deal." 
"Of course." He hums, walking close enough now to just brush your arm with his own.
Your heart leaps in your chest, from fear or excitement you aren't sure- but you're grateful to be able to finally hear the music coming from The Hob as you approach the rundown building.
There's nowhere else you would want to be any less than The Hob during one of Lucy Gray's shows. You loved her, The Covey, the beautiful and fun music they made together, but since you'd been home, it had been impossible to enjoy yourself there.
You didn't even try until tonight.
Your fears came true. Almost as soon as you and Coriolanus walked in, scattered eyes were on you. You could feel it like pricks in your skin. It didn't help that you were with a stranger. People were dancing, drinking, laughing, but you couldn't help but feel like the laughs were directed at you. Certainly, some staring was.
Coryo looks down at you, seeing your hands still gripped onto your own arms, holding yourself together. He wasn't great with crowds, and seemingly neither were you. His urge was to retreat to the nearest wall, and so was yours. "Let's see if we can track down Sejanus." He offers, holding his arm out behind you while he looks around.
He doesn't want to touch you for fear of making things weird, but god, would it just be so easy to slip his arm around your waist and guide you more effectively. 
"There." He almost doesn't hear you over the music and the shouting surrounding you both, but he follows your finger as you point over to the bar, leaning down closer in case you speak again.
Sure enough, Sejanus is there chatting with some local guy. Coryo sighs. "I leave him for twenty minutes..." He chuckles, shaking his head. "I'll get him, are you okay to wait here?" He asks and you nod, giving him that smile of yours that he hasn't seen all night.
"Good. I'll be right back." He promises, stepping away and through the crowd to go get your friend.
You watch him go, but your attention is drawn when someone pushes past you rather abruptly which makes you jump. The girl looks at you like you're crazy, as you expected she would, so pulling yourself together again, you find an empty table by the side wall and go to sit down. This was too much for you already; you knew that before you even walked in the door, but you were just here to see your friends. Coryo would come back, Sejanus would be with him, and Lucy Gray would sing her songs while you laughed and talked like normal people do. As soon as they returned, it would be okay.
You keep your head down until you hear them bickering over the normal sounds of the bar.
"We're not here to make friends, Sejanus, we're here to-"
"No, no, I get that, but what's the harm?"
You smile at them, taking a shaky breath. "Welcome back."
"Y/N!" Sejanus grins, looking at Coryo briefly before taking the seat across from you. "Glad you could make it."
"Me too." You nod, avoiding looking at Coryo as he takes the spot standing next to you, considering there wasn't another seat.
"Here," He says, voice low in your ear as he holds a glass out to you. "Got you a drink."
"Oh, thank you." You mumble, blushing as you take it from his hand. You can't think of anything worse than being intoxicated and vulnerable in this environment, but the gesture was nice. You wouldn't deny him that.
He rests his arm on the back of your chair, leaning on it and you rest your arms on the table so you can place the glass down as you look at Sejanus. "Tell me more, what have you been up to?" You ask, desperate for some conversation to distract yourself.
"Well, we graduated." Sejanus answers, nodding toward the boy standing beside you.
"Oh, gosh, congratulations!" You smile, looking between the two of them. Coryo is stone-faced.
"I sent you an invitation." He says into the rim of his glass, looking down at you.
"Oh?" You ask, and Sejanus nods in confirmation.
"We were hoping you'd be able to make it. We were going to come get you." He explains, and Coryo lets the glass scrape against his teeth. It was his invitation that he sent, and he was the one who offered to come get you. Sejanus had nothing to do with it besides encouraging him to actually send the letter.
"I didn't- I didn't get it." You tell them honestly, brow furrowed. "I don't know if I could have... gone back, you know, but I would have at least sent a gift, or something. I am so sorry."
Coryo raises an eyebrow. "You didn't get it?" He asks, almost relieved by the idea.
"No, nothing."
"Oh. Well, nothing could be done then, I suppose." He shrugs it off. Maybe if you truly hadn't received the invite, you haven't received any of the letters he sent. Someone along the route to the address he used decided you weren't worth looking for, and that wasn't your fault. Lucy Gray had told him as much, but he trusted it more falling from your lips.
"Truly, though, I am so sorry I couldn't be there." You say, looking between the two of them with a newfound urgency. You didn't want them to resent you, especially if they thought they had been ignored. "I didn't know, honest."
"Don't worry about it." Sejanus assures you. "We didn't want to be there either."
"But I did, I would have loved to but it's just hard to get out of Twelve and I wouldn't have anywhere to stay and like I said I'm just not ready to go back but I really would have loved to be able to be there for you."
"Y/N, hey..." Coryo chuckles, leaning down again to be face-to-face with you. "We get it. We're not upset with you, I promise."
Promise. The two of you were always making promises to each other, apparently. It made you feel better and he knew that.
"O-okay..." You nod slowly, deciding now is as good a time as any to try your drink. You turn your face from him, having been just inches apart to take a sip. Beer was far from your favourite, but you were never much of a drinker anyway. You place the glass back down and smooth out your skirt over your lap, regaining your normal grin. "Well, Fortune is merry, and in this mood will give us anything."
"Very good point." Coriolanus agrees quickly, tapping his hand on the back of your chair. The smile that crosses your face when you look up at him, thinking he understood and cared to respond makes him want to collapse in on himself and sink into the floor. You deserved so much more than being elated when someone understood you, and he could give you everything if you would just trust him.
"Y/L/N, how dare you show your face here!" A voice calls you by your last name and you snap your head in their direction.
Coryo furrows his brow, watching warily as a boy about his age walks up to your table. He's ready to step in, maybe this is why you hadn't been coming- because people, boys had been harassing you. He should have seen that coming. You were beautiful, every time he looked at you it was hard to look away again- obviously, this kind of attention would be a common occurrence. He lifts his shoulders and puts down his drink, but he looks at you and you're smiling.
"Hi." You giggle, actually giggle- and it makes Coryo almost just as angry as if this random guy had just threatened you.
He leans his elbows against the table. "Been a long time since I seen you. How you been?" He asks, sipping his beer as he makes dead eye contact with you.
"Only a couple of days, River." You grin.
"Oh yeah, that's right..." He hums. "Been real interested in that book you let me borrow, you know."
"Have you?" You smile, leaning in with excitement, ready to discuss it.
Who was this guy? A friend? Something more? The way you were looking at him, the fact that you let him borrow one of your books made envy swirl in Coryo's stomach. He hated it. He clears his throat to remind you they were there before you got sucked into talking about whatever book you gave the boy.
"Oh." You look up at him. "River, this is-"
"Yeah, who are these clowns? Botherin' you?" He interrupts you, and Coryo is more peeved about that than the fact that he was just referred to as a clown.
"Not in the slightest." You hum. "These are my friends, Sejanus and Coryo. They came all the way from the Capitol just to visit me, isn't that sweet?"
"Ah..." The boy hums, standing back up and holding a hand out for Sejanus to shake before turning to Coryo as he keeps his grip on the back of your chair. "Nice to meet you both, then."
"It's Coriolanus." He corrects you as he shakes the boy's hand, squeezing it probably more than what is polite.
"Oh wow." River's eyes widen and he chuckles, looking down at you again. "You're not really the friendly type I guess. Y/N here can make friends with just about anyone, I suppose."
"River..." You frown, shaking your head at him. Coryo clenches his jaw.
"I'm sorry! Sorry, I'm not great with new people either. That's my bad." He laughs it off, patting Coryo's shoulder as he drops his hand. "Anyway, Y/N, I didn't expect to see you out and about. Holdin' up okay?"
"I'm well. Thank you." You nod, taking another sip of your drink. River was a good friend, maybe even a great one. He works with your father in the mines, he started as soon as he turned eighteen a few months before you. You've become closer since then.
"Glad to hear it." He nods at you, looking around the crowded room. He bottoms his drink, shaking it in your face. "Time for a refill so I'm gonna leave ya be, but shout if you need anything, alright sweetheart?"
"Thank you!" You call after him as he turns to walk off, winking at you.
"Sweetheart." Coryo mumbles into his glass with a slight shake of his head as he watches the boy walk away. You didn't hear him, and he wasn't sure he wanted you to.
"Who's that?" Sejanus asks. "He seems nice."
"We went to school together, now he works with my father," You explain. "but I've known him most of my life. He's very kind, just a little... outspoken. He'll always tell you what he's thinking." You chuckle, and Coryo bites his tongue.
You catch his expression of disapproval. "He didn't mean any harm, just trying to be welcoming. He was nervous, I could tell." Returning your gaze to Lucy Gray up on the stage, you smile and give her a quick wave. She smiles back, nodding at you.
"You never mentioned him." Coryo comments.
"Well, I..." You stop yourself, staring down at your lap. "I had a lot on my mind..."
"Do you know anyone else? Give us the tour." Sejanus suggests quickly, pointing around the room.
You smile, forcing yourself to ignore your worries about how Coryo is feeling. "Almost everyone, yes." You giggle, covering your mouth with your hand as you speak.
"Is that why you didn't want to come?" Coryo asks you and you look up at him again, smile faltering.
"I- It's not that I didn't want to." You answer, fidgeting now with the fabric in your lap. "I just... I don't know. It's hard to... I don't know. Everything feels so difficult these days..." You laugh nervously.
There's that word he was so afraid of. Hard. In reference to something as simple as going out and spending time with your peers- people you had clearly considered friends before the games. It seemed like another lifetime to you, he could see it in the way you so intensely watched yourself pick at your own fingernails. He wished while laying in his bed at night that you were happy here, that your life was normal, even if he couldn't be a part of it; but that was unrealistic and part of him knew that.
"It's okay." Coryo reminds you quickly. "You don't have to explain yourself to us." He smiles, trying to be reassuring. "If you want to leave we can go. Just say the word, Y/N/N."
You shake your head, looking back up at him with that same glowing smile that subtly begs him not to worry about you- but he has to. "It's completely okay." You assure him with a quick wave of your hand. "Okay, so..." You drum your fingers on the tabletop, looking around and attaching names to faces.
"That's Sienna, I went to school with her sister." You point over to a girl in a group of a few others. "And she's with Fern and Hazel, Hazel's the one with the light hair." The boy's eyes follow where you're pointing as you look over at another group. "Oh, and over with River, the taller boy next to him is Rowan." You explain. "His little brother is friends with mine. Then over there, by the stage is Billy Taupe- that's Lucy Gray's boyfriend. Kind of, they're on and off these days."
Coryo nods, trying to commit these names to memory. He didn't plan on speaking to any of them, but if you wanted to, which he doubted, he would try. 
"And that's-" Your voice cuts out so quick it's as if someone had slapped a hand over your mouth when another boy walked up to join the two standing by the bar. Quickly Coryo is looking down at you again as the blood drains steadily from your face. You cough, shaking your head. "Uh, I don't really know anyone else's names." You lie.
"You okay?" Sejanus asks you and you nod, quickly grabbing your glass and taking a few large gulps, the foul taste of beer forcing its way down your throat. 
"Yeah, just, I haven't seen these people in a while."
Coryo watches, jaw clenched tight as River converses with the blonde boy who just walked up to him and your other friend whose name he's already forgotten. River takes a swig from his drink, laughs as he puts the glass down on the bar, and then points over to the three of you. He was telling whoever the hell that was that you were there- and clearly you weren't keen on him.
"Let's go, yeah?" Coryo suggests quickly, abandoning his drink on the table to step in front of you. He extends his hand to help you up which you gratefully take. He could feel your hand trembling in his. 
He squeezes your hand gently, still shielding you from the group of boys. You didn't need to say a word. "Sejanus, I'm going to take Y/N home, are you okay here?"
"For sure." He nods, looking worried now at the very sudden shift in your energy and Coryo's clear protectiveness. "Do you want me to come?"
"No, no. It's okay." You smile, comforted by Coryo's presence behind you. "You stay and have fun."
"Alright, well, I'll see you soon?" He smiles and you nod, but Coryo is already guiding you away.
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