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#i miss being w my friends. like physically
tiyoin · 10 hours
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Tiyoin the voices got to me again. I was scrolling tho tik tok and came across a video ,and it reminded me that you mentioned reader doing a sport before attending twst in the singing au. Wanna give a guess what sport I saw??
It was ✨figure skating✨. Just imagine it for a sec. Do I know anything about skating?? No. But the idea of anxiety reader being one is beautiful. Especially since skating isnt a confrontation sports like soccer and, reader doesn't have to be in contact with someone while performing their act.
I see reader starting the sport when they were young. They may have seen it as a way to put themselves out there while doing something they enjoy and find relaxing. They didn't compete in big contests with thousands of people watching (girlie would not make it). They would only get to county or district level of the contest B4 the nerves got to them. Most likely self sabotages at the end so they wouldn't have to seen and judged by so many. Reader does has a few gold medals tho. Yuu has been their personal cheerleader for a few years now. Going to as many contests as he can to just support reader and know they're not alone.
✨Now✨
What if there is a different competition (w/o a overblot hopefully) which a sport is picked randomly. Whether you want it to be a school vs school, dorm vs dorm or maybe grade vs grade you can decide. I think it could work with any of them. Like they pick a few people to represent their side and to complete. The ones that physically compete get prizes (💰) and the others get bragging rights and a 🍕 pizza party or smth like that idk.
Anyways, Yuu is like *puppy eyes* pls reader 👉👈we poor. And reader knows Yuu is only asking cuz they they really need the money and he would never make them do smth that would harm them. Yuus real motive is maybe this will help reader make friends or less be less anxious around their classmates. And he knows Reader is gonna win cuz none of the others skate.
The only ones in NRC that I can see being able to skate to a degree is Rook, Jade or Ortho maybe Epel too. He probably hated it till his grandma said only strong people could skate cuz it's hard. I think his home town is gets snow right? Can't recall rn.
Depending on which VS is picked the outfit and preforment is gonna be a easy choice or the hardest thing in the whole contest. Maybe a duet gets thrown in there. ➖👄👁️
Overall reader is ✨stressed✨ rightfully so. The creeps are recording, admirers admirering, rivals showing up left and right. Reader gonna need a nap after everything that's happened.
Another 3-5 am ask woooo. Sorry if there is any spelling errors. Why do the best ideas always come when I'm tired 😩. I can send u a tik tok I saw that inspired me if u want. Also I don't mean to mention Rook in every ask he just shows up w/o asking. Like my fav is Malleus and I haven't send a single idea with him.
Maybe it's cuz Rooks a Sagittarius and I'm a Gemini. They are sister signs. That's probably why he lives in my head rent free. I hope a good night.
MEL- I NEED TO KISS YOU BRAIN RIGHT NOW!!
especially with the death of YOI: adolescence... a sad day for anime lovers' everywhere (im on desktop so i can't do any emojis </3)
I actually had a really big skating phase. still do and would love to have prof. lessons. i wanted to do it so. badly. my parents said 'no' and that it was too late for me, so i mourn that. believe it or not, i was in soccer and almost did it in college.
but the ice feeling so freeing whenever reader steps onto it. they're not worried about sweating because of ice, and they can move how the want when they want.
reader would 100 PERCENT self sabotage themselves. filling their head with nonsense and because of all those thoughts (especially) 'dont miss this spin, dont miss this spin' only to miss it because they were focusing on whether they would 'miss the spin or not')
but in their home world, reader is phenomenal!! they're amazing! they got scouted by amazing coaches who wanted to tap into their raw potential, who were impressed by reader's hard work and drive... but reader always finds a away to miss things up for themselves.
OH MY GOD AHHH SPORTING COMPETETIONS WERE ALWAYS MY FAVORITE ARCS IN SHOWS
ITS LIKE THEIR OWN MINI OLYMPICS HAHAHA (reader: wdym you guys dont have olympics?)
ofc there's a pre sign up and auditions. reader is thinking and mulling it over. because trying out for the boys team is very different than the girl's team, is co-ed even allowed?? this is an all boys school after all!
(yuu brings crowley to their audition to convince him to give them student-ship so they can compete and WRECK those snot-nosed princes.)
maybe there's a partner skate? and you know that the admirers of reader that can skate and sign. the. fuck. up.
I WANT SKATER JADE!! I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!! but home boy would probably not be able to skate at the level of reader just because he's og a fish and if he started skating when he turned human then he'd only have a year of experience </3
but lets just say there's a sports thing they have... not club but dedicated for this event... then i can see jade being somewhat on reader's level. but there's still a difference unfortunately
ROOK HUNT SKATED OUT OF THE WOMB!! ortho could professionally skate sine... 5 minutes ago? like c'mon guys get on his level.
though i can see rook rather being an observer. he also called it 'ice dancing' because that's what it is to him. but if rook trying out for this instead of his usual sweep of archery, all to stop some... he doesn't have a word for the level of disgust he'd have if he saw you dancing with a slimy no name.
plus he will be able to experience your growth! not just as a skater but as a person! he can also get closer to you!
vil. vil can! ice dance. he needed to learn it for a film and he's always liked the feeling of being on the ice. which makes pomefiore the contenders for being on the team / being reader's partner during partner categories.
epel would want ot learn hockey but was forced into ice skating by his grandma HAHAH she'd say that he can learn to play hockey after he's mastered the ice or something. it's something he's NOT proud of- but (if this is the point where him and reader are on good terms) then he'll happily play up him being a skating pro.
i can also see vil forcing epel into skating for the school. like wdym ice skating is for girls? get your ass on the ice NOW
SILVER AND LILIA WOULD ALSO BE ICE SKATERS AHHH. but it's a bit dangerous for silver to be on the ice but if it means helping support his friend then he's gung ho about it! just... please keep an eye on him in case he starts falling (he's usually good about that. making it to the sides before he was able to face plant on the ice. but lilia is always present in case of such emergencies (and if the designated watchers arent able to get to him in time))
lilia has dabbled in a bit of everything. so if you see him whip out a quad (with only a little bit of stumbling, as he complains about his bones again) he'll act like it's not hard (it's not- for him)
BUT IF MALLEUS WANTS TO GET INTO THAT ICE SKATING ACTION THEN HE'LL SPEND HOURS AT IT. the prince bale to do things a bit differently than everyone since he's.. ya knw, thee malleus draconia.
crowley ; you can barly even skate! why are you at the try outs!
malleus :... give me a week (and the mofo MEANS IT)
and dw i get random spouts of 'rook hunter-itis too. I DONT MIND YOU BRINGING HIM UP CAUSE I LOVE HIM- AND MALLEUS AHHHH)
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chryblossomjjk · 7 months
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just found out that jungkook interacts with people who aren’t me
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warriorfujoshi · 10 months
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listen I may not actively have watched any airing rider since approximately the dawn of the reiwa era (sorry for being a geezer) but I am a kamen rider fan FIRST and all else SECOND I see something where characters awaken powers (bonus: powered gear) through emotions, I pog and go hoooooooly shit it’s just like kamen rider. I see someone who’s depressed still decide to fight for others I go holy shit this guy has no dreams but can still protect them. When a character has monstrous powers foisted upon them and despite it all they choose to use them for good. Despite said powers perhaps even turning them into a monster. I go hell yeah. Kamened Rider. I need you to know, this informs everything I’ve ever made or enjoyed. Ever. Ever ever.
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piplupod · 5 days
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so frustrated tonight bc i want to participate in society, it is so lonely being unemployed and disabled, but even if i woke up tomorrow with the fatigue miraculously cured i still wouldnt rly be able to get a job unless i wanted to risk catching covid every single day. this is so fucked up. im so tired. i hate how my parents see me as lazy when I am fucking crying out of frustration and the unfairness of it all and how achingly lonely and isolated i am. I don't understand how they think im choosing to do this to myself, i am not living im simply existing. i can't even make the art i want to make because im so impossibly tired all the time !!!
i cleaned a chair today and im barely able to sit up tonight bc it exhausted me so much. but god forbid i ever say that im tired because then suddenly its a contest, or show that im tired because then im "pouting"(????), but also "I've never seen you tired, I would've noticed if you were tired all the time, you seem fine!"
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toastsnaffler · 5 months
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I was on the wikipedia page for phobias just for fun but just discovered theres an actual word for a fear of being touched.. 🥹
#haphephobia.... and they list guts from berserk under pop culture references 😢😢😭😭 thats my guy....#not gonna lie i teared up a bit i didnt realise it 'counted' as an actual phobia#i find it really difficult to talk abt but i have a complicated relationship w touch/physical contact (likely trauma babeyy)#and while i do crave it a lot i also have a very physical reflexive fear response especially if its intentional + i dont expect it#which can sometimes even get triggered just being in proximity to ppl bc like. even the possibility sets me on fucking edge#it would be nice to be as physically affectionate as i naturally want to be without dealing w my fight/flight/freeze but alas#its weird bc there are some random situations where it doesnt get triggered at all but its so unpredictable every time#and varies wildly person to person for seemingly no reason. there r strangers im innately more comfortable with but also friends ive known#for years and will never be comfortable around. i think part of that depends on how strongly the other person communicates and whether-#i feel as if theyre demonstrably able to respect boundaries not just mine but their own too + understand theyre not always fixed#ideally i need to have had this conversation with them so i Know they understand. which is rly difficult i find it so hard to admit#and i have a complicated mental block where i need the other person to naturally bring it up which very very rarely ever happens#idk just an atmosphere of safety yknow. i think its intentional touch that specifically makes me panic bc im usually fine w like-#bustling crowds or even expected social rules like handshakes at interviews. bc its not like they're Trying To Touch Me its just rote idk#hopefully eventually ill reach a place where im able to unpack it and reduce its severity bc man sometimes its fucking heartbreaking to me#bc i do genuinely really like physical contact im an incredibly physical person its my main way of interacting w the world#and the way having to force myself to avoid it meshes w my rsd too augh.... its a clusterfuck#even just having one person im completely comfortable with. maaaaan.#almost makes me miss my ex. at least i was mostly cool around them#god its sucked lately ive been having weird vivid dreams related to it. but whatever its so far down my list of problems to prioritize#and at least i dont get it w my familys dog so i can cuddle her :^) i miss her i cant wait to see her next month :D#anywayyyy thats enough im so tired goodnight every1...#.diaries
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hagravenholm · 6 months
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abbyshands · 3 months
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finger sucking w/nerdy!gf abby
warnings; finger sucking (obv), implied (ish?) gagging, talk of a strap-on but not used, abby refers to the strap-on as her dick, strap-on is referred to as her dick
a/n; i've had this idea non stoppp ugh so i had to get a lil drabble out :3 and thank you SO much for all the love on my first fic, i'm so honored <3 if you have any ideas you want me to do a drabble/fic for, plspls lmk!
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└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
god, most days you just can’t shut those pretty lips of yours, not around her, anyway. your girlfriend is serious in regards to her college classes: doesn’t miss a single homework assignment, spends at least an hour every evening on her work, and the library is her home away from her dorm.
and you, of course.
abby anderson wasn’t sure what to look out for when she began to fall for one of the most well known girls on campus. seriously, you were like one of those girls out of the movies: popular, pretty girl, cheer team, flawless persona. everyone loved you, including herself.
you were a nice girl, but that mouth of yours was a killer. abby wasn’t just your girlfriend, but your best friend, and you told her every little detail about every little thing you did. rambling and rambling, you’d probably go for hours if she didn’t stop you.
in general, abby didn’t mind that, because it wasn’t that she wanted to feel like you weren’t being heard by her. she did care, and she did want to hear you out. but it’s when you began to do it when she was busy with her work, that it became a bit of a problem.
and even if it doesn’t seem like she is on the surface, the raging dom in your nerd of a girlfriend just can’t help but take care of it.
she had had it with the rambling for this evening. you were perched in her lap, rattling off every single thing wrong with how cheer had gone today. some girl had messed up her form, which made an issue for you and the girls on your team, etc, etc, etc.
god, did abby love you, but, fuck, did you need to shut up every once in a while.
one second, you’re speaking, babbling away. but before you even know it, your open lips are getting pushed past by abby’s index and ring, which get shoved knuckle-deep into the back of your throat. “hush, baby,” abbys commands.
your eyes widen in surprise, eyebrows raising as you let out a small, “mmph!” and whimper. what the hell had she done that for? you hadn’t even been misbehaving! so then, you find yourself grumbling, giving abby a confused look, face hot.
abby obviously doesn’t feel like explaining. when does she ever? she could care less about your opinion when it came to things like this. just take what she gives you. she shushes you, not giving a care in the world how curious you are for her reasoning. “shhh. suck, baby, suck,” she said firmly.
you didn’t want to listen at first. you were in the middle of speaking, for god’s sake, and you wanted to finish what you were saying. but you were a simple woman, and this was just like every other time you had sucked abby’s fingers: your body was physically relaxing, calming as every word you’d been saying before leaves your head.
and then your head was on abby’s chest, eyes closed, and hands in your lap as you sucked her fingers like a baby. “mhm,” abby coos, knowing full well how easy you were. it was such a simple task, shutting you up, that is. “good girl. so cute like this, princess.”
“mmm,” you let out softly, cuddling into her closer, if that’s even possible. you can’t even remember to get mad at her, or ask her why she was shushing you like this. if it means her fingers in your mouth, you don’t give a fuck. abby can’t help but chuckle, her other hand on your hips.
“there you go. such a pretty baby. you suck so well for me, doll,” abby whispers. the way she says it makes your mind flash with all the times she’s made you suck on her strap, giving you words of praise as you did it, because that’s what a good girl deserves.
“you know i love hearing you, baby, but i’ve gotta focus now, okay?” abby says in a tone that sends butterflies down to your abdomen, and maybe somewhere lower, too. you do what you can to nod, sucking abby’s fingers like a pacifier as she cradles you like a baby.
abby smiles down at that pretty, fucked-out look on your face, even when she hasn’t done much at all to you, and goes on. “maybe if you behave, i’ll let you suck my dick a little later, yeah? that sound fair to you?”
it’s like she can read your mind. of course it does, you like the sound of it a bit too much. so you nod once more.
it’s a win-win, really. she got to have her peace, and you got to feel better by sucking on her fingers. and just then, abby thrust her fingers deeper into your mouth, letting you curl your tongue around them as you moan.
“promise you if you’re good for me, i’ll give you all my attention when i’m done with my work. just keep being good, n’ sucking me, okay?” abby asks, moving her free hand from your hip back to her homework. you miss the feeling, but you know how abby feels In regards to her classes, her homework, school in general. so you nod.
“mhm,” you murmur, lips around abby’s fingers. but abby pulls them back, your own drool covering them when she does, and you whimper at the loss. god, she was just playing with you now.
“say it,” she says firmly, the kind of tone you know she only uses when she’s not playing around.
but then again, when is she ever?
“i- i will, abby,” you say in response, giving her those sweet puppy-dog eyes of yours, begging her to give you her fingers back. she smiles.
“that’s a good girl.”
so as she’s doing her work, she’s sitting in her chair, you cradled in her lap with her fingers deep inside your mouth, bouncing you up and down on her lap to keep you calm. it’s almost fucking childish, but, fuck, does it give you butterflies.
and once she’s done with her work, she pulls her fingers from your lips, covered in your spit and all. that’s when she kisses you, slow and sloppy, giving you all the attention that your plump lips are so badly craving. she finds the way you take her glasses off to kiss her adorable, because it shows just how needy you are.
and to reward you for being so good for her, she’ll have you sit up in her lap, thighs on both sides of it, and use those same drool drenched fingers to finger you, letting you ride her up and down like the good girl you are. you think of that “later” she promised you, mouth wrapped around her dick as you suck her off, and that only drives you even crazier as you’re riding your gf <3
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silencesscreams · 4 months
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i can see you
james potter x best friends sister!reader (smut)
summary: james develops a strange feeling for sirius’ sister (reader) when she comes to london once her job required her to move. he first off thought she was a shitty person, an awful one with an awfully pretty face. so when sirius offers for her to stay in their loft until she finds an apartment, he decides he’s going to make her want to get out of there as fast as possible, until he wants her to stay more than anything in this whole world.
a/n: omg im so sorry this took so long, i tried my best w this one. also, english isn’t my first language so sorry for any mistakes. inspired by i can see you - taylor swift
warnings: mdni. smut with plot, afab!reader, use of she/her pronouns in reference to reader, use of y/n (I AM SORRY), afab!reader, being shorter than james, muggle & modern day!au, chef!peter, ships included (dorlene, marylily, wolfstar), swearing, cuddling, mentions of alcohol and drinking, a lot of physical touch, kind of public??, kissing, praise, v soft dom!james, fingering, oral (m receiving), light choking, size kink??, penetration, unprotected (don’t do this please), overstimulation
for the past two years, you started to have weekly calls with your brother, to update him on your life and know what’s happening on his.
you got transferred to london because of your job, you couldn’t find any apartments online and you were supposed to move the other week, being really desperate you told him about it, hoping he knew a real estate agent or something like that, but you were incredibly caught by surprise with his answer.
“thats such nonsense, you should just stay in my empty room until you find another place.” sirius said, his phone on speaker as he made a sandwich in the kitchen. james eyed him with a confused look on his face, but sirius decided to ignore it.
“really?” you ask, hopeful, you really could take a break from looking for apartments.
“of course. i mean, remus has practically moved into my room, so we just need to take some stuff of his out, but yeah, its no big deal.” james couldn’t help but look at him like he was crazy, remus’ room was right next to his, hell, remus’ room had a bathroom adjoined to his. james was starting to feel faint.
as soon as sirius got off the phone with you, he started blabbing.
“what the fuck, sirius?!” james said loudly, sirius sighed, putting his sandwich harshly on the plate.
“what now? i’m really just trying to eat here”
“your sister? really?” he looked like he was about to faint.
“she’ll pitch in on the rent, don’t worry about that” your brother tried to get him calm.
“oh please, i dont care about that! you know how i feel about sharing spaces” he was getting stressed, he couldn’t help it. “and you know how i feel about your family, i have been telling you to be more careful these past years but you don’t listen at all!”
it really had to be remus’s room? couldn’t peter just switch rooms and lend her his instead?
“she’s not like my parents, and neither is regulus, they didn’t do anything” sirius paused, “do your best friend a favor, will you?” and he knew he was going to.
“she’s not messy or nosy or anything like that, right?” james asked, giving into it fully.
“please, shes a cleaning freak, she’s worse than my mother” he paused. “that’s an exaggeration but she’s not messy at all, i swear. you wont even notice she’s around.” james doubted that, but he knew how much sirius missed his siblings, and he knew how fond sirius was of you.
james swore to himself he was going to get you to leave either way, he didn’t want you there and he didn’t care if he had to pay more rent because of it. he didn’t like you, he never did. even in school, before the whole sirius moving out thing, he felt weird around you. and he remembered that feeling very well, even if it was many years before, he didn’t feel like he could forget.
-
your moving truck arrived at the building a few hours before you, but when you got there, sirius had already arranged your furniture, which did make you a bit emotional. he had even bought a toothbrush, carefully arranging it in the right side of the cabinet, the side that pointed towards the door of the bathroom that led to your room.
the boys came to pick you up at the train station, you recognized them from sirius’ social media. they were everywhere.
you were extremely confused on why all of them had come and pick you up, you were hoping to see your brother standing awkwardly, instead he was there with all of his roommates. you felt like you were a teenage girl again, trying to talk to your brother during lunch, but his friends were always around.
you recognized remus from the photos he sent you, and peter was always on the background of your calls with him baking something.
and then there was james.
james potter. you didn’t know how to feel about him anymore. when your brother first introduced you, you found him attractive, but then you hated him.
when your brother ran away to his home you couldn’t help but hate him.
sure, your house wasn’t the best place in the world, but he took away your older brother, how were you supposed to feel?
as time passed you started to tolerate his presence. now you really don’t care about him, but he sure looked better than he usually did many years before.
-
you felt like you could kill him.
after living with james for a month you found him obnoxious, rude, annoying and a few other things you were too lazy to mention.
but the thing you hated the most was how invasive he could be.
you barged into his room, he was laying there, crumbs all over his red shirt.
"you should learn how to knock" he rolled his eyes when he said it, your brows furrowed.
"you ate my brownies." you had baked a few because it was bring your kid to work day and you were in charge of the snacks.
“they were really good, i thought peter made them” james paused. “he runs a restaurant downtown, you know, he’s always baking and-“
“i’m gonna have to make a whole new batch. you ate like ten of them.” you were about to get a really bad headache depending on his answer.
“i told you, they were really good.”
if you were in a cartoon you would’ve turn red and there would be smoke coming out of your nostrils and your ears. you had no comment.
you hated when he did that, just compliment you so you couldn’t really hate him that much anymore.
he used your shampoo, but it smelled really nice.
he ate your leftovers, but you really know how to order chinese food.
he even wore one of your biggest shirts you bought when you were in college because you were too lazy to buy pijamas and suddenly that shirt was really nice, because, sure, james potter actually listened to avril lavigne.
he even shrunk one of your favorite sundresses, you almost cried that day and he never even apologized.
the list went on and on, and somehow, every compliment of his sounded like he was taunting you, making fun of you right in front of your face and all you could ever do was thank him.
maybe that’s just how you were, polite no matter what. but you sure didn’t want to be polite to james that day.
“no, you don’t get to do that” you felt like you were being crazy.
“what do you mean?” he chuckled. he so did not chuckle.
“you don’t get to compliment me! that doesn’t bring my brownies back!” the word brownie sure sounded stupid in that moment.
“i’ll bake more for you, but they’ll suck, you know that” he actually sat on the bed to argue, how kind of him.
“the kids will probably die if they eat your brownies.”
“you’re feeding children? where do you even work?” he looked so confused and you kept getting angrier.
“do i really look like the kind of person who would eat a hundred billion thousand brownies? god, james, why can’t you just not touch my shit?”
“that’s not even a real number and there were a lot of them! i thought it wouldn’t make a difference!”
“it wouldn’t, if you had eaten one or two, but you ate half of them!”
“oh please, lets put it to a maximum of 25%, alright?” you felt like you were going absolutely insane. he was probably going to get you in a mental hospital and you’d be walking around, looking half dead, murmuring ‘brownies brownies brownies, i want my brownies back’.
you decided to just give up, slamming the door the hardest you could while heading out.
-
as halloween came around, the bickering with james stopped, you didn’t quite know if it was because of the season or you just got used to each other, but you didn’t mind it much. he could be very exhausting when upset, and you were sure you could too.
you loved fall, maybe it was that you were in a great mood. pumpkin flavored stuff, candles and everything else included.
on the day before halloween, you woke up early, you had to go apartment hunting and once you got back you would try and help peter make deserts. even though your ghost shaped cookies look like very sick jellyfish, you wanted to help. it was the most you could do, you weren’t paying rent, sirius wouldn’t let you. and they were going to throw a party on the next day so you wanted to help them get everything settled.
when you got home you were so incredibly tired, you had spent all day out and it was already 9pm. you had to walk so much you felt like you were your feet would fall off because they were used more on that day than they were your entire life. you were more upset you didn’t get to help with the food though, the pain didn’t really matter that much compared to that.
you just wanted to lay on your bed, put your feet up and-
giggles.
there were giggles coming from your room.
and then you remembered it, the neighbors, a few girls that went to the same school as you and were very good friends with your brother were staying over. a big slumber party of some sort, you and james were sleeping in the living room, because, of course, the four girls formed two couples and they would sleep together separately. no actual bed for you tonight! you really liked them though, so you couldn’t complain.
you knocked on the door to your own room and marlene opened it, cheeks flushed, and you could see dorcas on your bed, doing something on her phone.
“hi, lene” you decided to call her that because sirius called her that, it was cute. “sorry for bothering you both, i just wanted to get my pillow, my blanket and change real quick”
“oh sure, come in” she opened the door and you went straight for the drawer under the bed, grabbing a light green heavy one, you usually used that on winter but it was a cold night and you didn’t really want to bother them by taking your usual one from off the bed.
you never changed clothes so fast, tossing them in the laundry bin along with a shit ton of james’ shirts that were on his side of the sink.
“thank you, have a nice night”
you sighed while going to the living room, to find james sitting on the armchair, shirtless and wearing sweatpants, drinking a beer and watching that 70s show (again). you decided to ignore how good he looked and just get some rest because you really didn’t want go think about james in that moment, or ever as a matter of fact.
you lay down on the couch and throw the blanket over your head.
“you know what bums me out about this show?” james says abruptly, like you would really like to know. you grunt, waiting for his answer. “they really didn’t know when to stop it, its only good until what? season-“
“james, im really tired, i just wanna get some rest, please” you get out from under the covers to say that, so he ignores it fully.
“how did apartment hunting go?” he asks, pausing the episode and asking alexa to turn on some playlist with songs a sad dad would listen to.
“shitty, theres not one good place up for rent in this city, its actually sick”
“yeah, thats tough” he pauses for a brief moment “come here” he said, patting his knee. was he asking you to sit on his lap? was he going fucking crazy?
“i’m sorry, what?” you were so confused, since when was he like that to you?
“get up, sit here with me a little.” were you dreaming? was this one of those weird wet dreams you had in high school?
“james, i’m really tired, my back hurts and i really want to lay-“
“i’ll give you a massage, it’s whatever” he answered, a sad puppy look on his face.
you gave in. you walked over to him and sat on the arm of the chair, but he pulled you onto his lap.
“i need to be close to you, if i’m not it’s really awkward and uncomfortable.” some song you didn’t know was playing.
it was slow and sounded old, you didn’t recognize it.
“james come on, im really tired.” you say, smiling though, you didn’t know why he was doing this. he must’ve had an awfully good day.
“just for a bit.” why were his hands on your waist? why were you nervous. you nodded, you felt that if you opened your mouth to speak, nothing would come out.
you could feel his breathing on your neck, his hands roaming your waist as he lead them up to your shoulders.
his hands were on the low of your back, under your shirt. that was certainly new, and that was really not a massage, but you weren’t complaining.
you looked back at him, wide eyed, what was he doing?
once you turned your face to look at him, you couldn’t look away anymore.
maybe it was how nice he looked in the paused lighting of the tv, maybe it was how warm he felt, when the weather was so chilly recently, whatever it was, it hooked you.
he was looking straight into your eyes and you felt so open to him, it was weird to see him like this.
you felt like you were back in school being head over heels for your brother's best friend.
you heard keys jingling outside, so you stepped away, leaving him sat by himself wondering what he did wrong. sirius opened the door abruptly, scaring james, who looked at him confused.
“sorry, mate, the door was … hey! is that my instrumental playlist?” james turned a bit pink.
“yeah, I was just...” he looked at you. “forget it.” he turned it off. you were pretending to be unbothered, looking at something your phone.
you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around what had just happened.
you unfolded the sofa into a bed, getting comfortable on the right side, but then you felt his eyes back on you as sirius went into his own room.
“oh, sorry. do you want the couch? i can sleep on the chair, i don’t really-“
“we can share. don’t worry about it.” you nod at his comment. what had gotten into him? he turned off the lights, leaving the tv on. you were trying to calm down, sleeping in the same place as him, being nervous about it was so silly, but, still, you could feel your heartbeat.
“you wanna pick something?” he interrupted your thoughts, you didn’t want to watch anything. you wanted it to be over as soon as possible.
“no, you can just go back to your thing, i don’t mind it.” you answered. he laid down by your side.
fuck.
you were going to share the damn blanket.
he unpaused the tv, putting the remote on the right arm of the couch, that was your side. his arm went over you, he wrapped his arm around your waist once he went back to his side, though half of it was empty.
was he trying to spoon you? you could feel yourself getting nervous, your body starting to feel hot.
you (stupidly) decided to test his actual intentions with that, turning to your side to see if he’d pull you in, he quickly did.
you could have died right there.
he had never even hugged you before, was he really horny or something? and so you felt it.
‘oh my god.’ you thought to yourself repeatedly.
you felt his hand on your waist, pulling you closer to him, which was basically impossible with your ass already glued to his crotch.
you ended up sleeping like that, waking up in the morning to the ‘are you still watching?’ screen.
the day was fine, and you found out you and James had a lot in common, you ended up talking the entire evening, he spent the whole party next to you.
you slept in separate rooms at night, but you still spent a while with him in his room talking about all sorts of things. you never imagined how you and james could be alike. you never imagined how could be so sweet, funny and nice.
after the fall holidays you and james became closer and closer, when labor day came up you realized how much you liked him and when thanksgiving came around, you realized how you might actually be falling for him.
he didn’t help with that at all. he was always touching you, you even ended up cuddling when you would watch some awful movie in his room.
you never really got if he liked you as a friend or he wanted something more, until christmas.
you carefully placed your gifts under the tree on christmas eve, so in the morning when you saw a little box with your name on it, you were incredibly excited.
everyone was sat on the living room floor, opening gifts. in the little box was an envelope and it was from all of the guys. there was something written in the paper inside but you didn’t want read it in the moment.
“thanks” you smiled, but you didn’t quite know what it meant.
“we all talked and we want you to put your name on the lease.” sirius said quickly, looking at you anxiously.
“like, actually?” you ask, starting to feel extremely happy because you loved living with them.
“yeah” remus answered, smiling.
“thanks, i really appreciate it.” you couldn’t stop smiling, it felt great to know they wanted you there. james, who was sat next to you, gave you a one arm hug and a kiss on the forehead.
“so you’re gonna let me pay rent now?” you ask to your brother, smiling.
“i guess so.” he replied. you knew he was happy too. “gonna get you an actual gift though”
they were planning a big christmas party, they invited some people from work, the girls and some other people you didn’t really know, so you were expecting to spend the night with james. you went all out, put on your favorite red dress which was short but still fancy for the event.
once you were ready, half of the party was already there, including all of james’ coworkers and friends. you sat next to him on the couch, they were all there all talking about something from his work you didn’t really understand.
they were all dressed up too, but what shocked you the most was that james was wearing a suit, sure, his necktie was already loose and the buttons on his shirt too, but he looked amazing.
“can i stay with you fot the rest of the night? i don’t really know anyone here.” you whispered into his ear, nervous about the answer.
“sure” he nodded. “hey, henry” he called for his coworker that was sitting on the couches arm.
“yeah?” the guy answered.
“this is y/n, the friend i was telling you about the other day.” james gestures to you. you can’t help but smile awkwardly and wonder what he said about you.
“oh, hi! pleasure to meet you.” he got up from his chair and shook your hand, smiling at james and nodding. what did that mean?
“pleasure to meet you too.” you smile at him.
“i’m just gonna get some drinks, i’ll ill be right back. do you want something?” james asked you.
“just a soda.” he gets up and heads to the kitchen.
“so, tell me, how are your brownies?” henry jokes, you look at him confused.
“good, i guess, but thats a biased opinion.” you answer, curious on how he knew about your brownies.
“you know, james talks about you all the time.” he comments, you were sure he already had a few drinks.
“really? what does he say?”
“when you first moved in he hated you, you know? he always said it was fun to make you mad and all. but since october he’s been so nice when he talks about you, i personally think he fancies you, but i wouldn’t know. i don’t think he’d tell me if he did, specially because you’re his friends sister and all.” he was rambling but you really enjoyed the part he said about james seeing you as more than a friend, you enjoyed it so much you didn’t even pay attention to what he said after that.
“i doubt it, we just turned into good friends, that’s all.”
“nah, i think he wants to make you into something else.” henry might’ve just made your entire night with that phrase. you couldn’t hide your smile anymore.
“here’s your soda, a beer for you, henry” james handed the drinks and took a sip of his coke. you sat next to him, holding your soda in both of your hands, looking down at it nervously. “did something happen?” he asked you.
“no, just thinking ‘bout something” you answer, looking into his eyes now. he smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist. that makes you so flustered, you feel your entire body getting warmer and that’s just the start of it.
for the rest of the night, he stayed by your side. his hand resting on your waist, thigh, around your shoulders, wherever he wanted them. you could feel your heart beating in your chest for most of the time. he had never done that before, not in public and surely not like that, not in a sexual manner, at least that’s how you identified it, because one thing was a friendly touch, the other was what he was doing.
he made you feel needy, aching for more - he was making you want him.
did he notice? did he ever even perceive how he made you feel? how could he not?
goosebumps covered you once he grazed your thigh for the first time out of five, the fifth was when he finally let his hand stay put there.
it made you feel crazy, it really did.
you didn’t know if he meant it as you took it, but you really hoped he did.
the party was still going around 1am, james had disappeared and you were left sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come back.
you couldn’t stop thinking about him and it made you feel kind of silly. you were a bit disappointed that nothing happened but you sort of expected it. you knew nothing would actually occur, but still, it made you a bit sad. maybe the touch lead you on, but it-
you looked at your phone once it vibrated and you felt the absolute need to scream because of how excited the text made you, but you didn’t.
‘James: come to my room once you read this, please.’
you didn’t think much of it, though you would’ve come if he just asked you to like he normally did.
you finished your drink and knocked on his door. he opened it but didn’t look at you, his eyes were focused on your knees, he looked nervous.he was still wearing his pants and the dress shirt, except it was unbuttoned. shit.
“y/n?” he was looking at you now.
fuck.
“yeah?”
“you look really good tonight.”
“i clean up nice sometimes.” you smile.
“oh please, you always look good” he turned a bit pink once he said it. “and thats a really nice dress” his voice was low when he said it, was he actually hitting on you?
“thank you” you whispered, you couldn’t help but feel anxious as his body got closer to yours.
“you know, i’ve been thinking about something for a while now” he says. you could feel your stomach start to twist and turn because you were so anxious on what he was doing next. you hummed, making sure he would continue what he was saying, but he didn’t.
he just kissed you like it was the easiest thing in the world. he pulled you into his room and closed the door, locking it quickly.
the feeling of his lips on yours was something you craved for a while now, you needed it so much you started to wonder if it was normal for you to need something this much.
you couldn’t stop once it started. his hands were on your hips and you tugged onto his hair desperately.
kissing him is redefining the whole concept of kissing to you, and probably ruining every other sexual experience you could have for the rest of your life.
he pushed you into the door, his hands now on your ass.
“shit” he let out quickly as he stopped kissing you so roughly and started giving you quick pecks. “you have no idea for how long i wanted to do this.” you hummed. “you’re so fucking hot, it makes me crazy.” the praise was making your stomach twist again, a wet spot being formed between your legs.
he carried you with your legs around his body and took you to his bed. the same bed you have used to lay down to watch movies, to just gossip or discuss things, to do whatever.
he sat down and kept you on his lap, straddling him, but you needed more. as he kissed you roughly and messily you would casually rock your hips, causing friction. after you did that a few times he laid you down on the bed, telling you to stop being such a tease, he got on top of you, supporting himself with his knees, one of them between your legs, causing friction and making you more aroused.
when he started playing with the strings that held the dress together, you knew you were done for, so you let him undo the bow, kissing your neck. he was messy, sometimes he would bite and it would send bolts of electricity down your spine.
“james…” you let out as he bit you again.
“tell me” he said, trailing his kisses down to your clavicle. “can i take this off too?” he asked, playing with your bra. you nodded but he didn’t move an inch.
“i need to hear you say it. can i take this off?” he was such a fucking tease, it made you go crazy. he loved to hear your voice, he knew you wanted him to take it off, he just liked to hear you say it.
“yes, please” you struggled to hold in a moan once he started sucking on your neck.
“thank you” he answered, looking back to the hickey he gave you. “hmm, that’s gonna leave a mark, sorry baby” baby? he had never called you that, you hummed as he took off his collared shirt and then proceeded to take off your bra . he groaned at the sight of you, which drove you mad. his growing bulge was exposed.
he was big.
you immediately regretted every single time you had made a small dick joke (sure, there were only 2 times but they did happen).
he was on his knees, towering over you.
“you’re so pretty”, he leaned down to kiss you again, this time more eager than ever. his right hand cupped your jaw as his left one roamed your body, making you ache for more and more. “i really wanna touch you” he whispered and went back to kissing you, his left hand now between your thighs, waiting for permission to move.
“please” you whisper, stopping the kiss briefly. he kept on kissing you as he stimulated you through the fabric of your underwear, but that didn't happen for long, specially because of how wet it was, he needed to touch you, he couldn't help himself. the dress was so hiked up it looked like a shirt, but instead of helping you take it off, he pulled it down a bit, so he had access to your chest. he immediately started kissing around your left tit, making you go absolutely insane. and that combined with the sudden touch to your clit? yeah, you were getting fucked up that night.
he was better than anyone had ever been to you. sucking in your nipple and fingering you slowly, he was making you go crazy, needing him more.
he stopped sucking on your nipple and went back to your neck, his hand not stopping at all. the right one went to cover your mouth as you moaned.
“be quiet, hm? want everyone to listen? don’t wanna stuff that pretty mouth of yours too” his non dominant hand went to your neck, choking you lightly as his other one fucked into you. you were so close to cumming, with his thumb stimulating your clit as his other fingers went in and out of you, he knew that you were close, specially with the way your pussy was tightening around him. “so fucking tight, aren’t you? can’t imagine how you’re gonna feel around my cock” he stopped and took his fingers out, making you whine, missing the feeling of him.
“jameees” you moan, finding the courage in you to pull him in, giving him a kiss.
“take it off”
“what?” you’re confused.
“the dress, i really wanna fuck you in it but i don’t wanna ruin it.” he lets out. “take it off” he sounded like he was ordering you, and you loved it so much, you wanted to give something back to him.
“i will, but can i suck you off first?” you ask, looking at him doe eyed, and how could he say no?
“you really want to?” he asks, furrowed brows, you nod, quickly getting on your knees as he unbuckles his belt, throwing it on the carpet. he got up and pulled his pants down, staying just in his boxers, he climbed back into bed with you, kissing you sweetly.
you were on your knees in front of him, pulling his cock out of his underwear, stroking it lightly then kissing the tip. you take him in your mouth, using your hands to stroke what couldn’t fit, which, frankly, was about a bigger portion of it. he was the biggest you ever had.
“fuck” he groaned at the movements you were making, using his left hand to get strands of hair out of your face, as his right one supported him on the bed. he was trying not to thrust into your mouth but you were making it so hard. “your mouth was made for me, baby” he whispered, looking into your eyes. his free hand went to your neck, choking you just a bit, as your head bobbed up and down, taking as much as possible.
“so good, your mouth feels so goddamn good honey” he groaned as he finished the sentence and you used your non dominant hand to cup his balls. he was moaning a bit and it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen or heard, though you were sure you would see hotter things that same night. he started thrusting lightly, he couldn’t help himself, specially with how good your mouth made him feel.
“stop” he ordered you, and so you did, a pop sound being made as you stopped sucking and looked up at him.
“did i do something wrong?” you ask, brows furrowed. his hand hasn’t left your neck, and so he pulls you in by it. his tongue went straight in your mouth, he needed to taste him on your lips.
“i wanna fuck you” he said, looking into your eyes, waiting for any kind of response.
“yes. please do” you quickly say, kissing him quickly.
“the dress” he remembers and you quickly take it off, not stopping the staring for a second.
“want you down on all fours” he says, getting on his knees. you do as he commands, getting in an arch position as he’s on his knees behind you. he can see that you still haven’t taken off your underwear, he bites on your ass cheek and then pulls it down with his teeth.
“you don’t mind if i keep this, don’t you?” he asks, helping you take it off fully. “it’s already ruined”
“it’s yours” you look back at him, he’s smirking like the devil. he throws your underwear into his bedside drawer.
“gotta keep it safe” he whispers. you can feel his bulge through his boxers as he leans in to kiss your neck, you whine, needing him more.
“patience, i’m gonna give it to you, sweetheart” his right hand gave your ass a smack. “up” he said, signaling for you to arch your back even more. as you do so, he groans, pressing his covered member against your wet cunt.
“you’re so pretty like this, all for me?” he asked, using his hand to play with your clit.
“y-yes, all yours” you said, trying not to whine mid sentence.
“good girl. mine” he gave your shoulder a quick peck. “gonna put it in now, okay? tell me if you wanna stop” he took his dick from out of his boxers and pumped it a few times. you could’ve fainted once you felt his tip lined up to your entrance.
he went in slowly, he was way to big for you. every time you thought he was done, there would still be more of him left.
“jaaames” you would whine
“just a bit left; don’t worry, princess” once he was fully inside of you, you felt amazing, like you were in heaven. “you’re so fucking tight, ‘feels so good” he said, trying to to groan, his voice was raspy.
if took a few thrusts for you to get used to his size, but as soon as he picked up a pace, you were a mess. you couldn’t hold in your sounds, the way he was stimulating your clit was absolutely killing you.
“be fucking quiet” he demanded with a groan, “you want everyone to know who you belong to, huh?” he didn’t stop, he just went quicker as a matter of fact.
“fuck!” you squealed as he pinched your clit, his thrusts began to be more rough, you couldn’t even focus. you’re eyes kept rolling back, your mind was fully blank and the only thing that was coming out of your mouth in that moment was a mixture of james, fuck, shit and a few other curse words.
you were in ecstasy.
“you like this, don’t you?” he was grunting lowly in between every few thrusts. you were so close, you felt your high coming to you, the way he was fucking you was not helping with you trying to hold it.
“james ohmygod james, im gonna cum” you say, trying not to stumble over your words.
“ask nicely and i’ll let you” he said, stopping the stimulation on your clit and thrusting harder. he was close too, the way your tight pussy would clench around him was making him go insane.
“please let me cum, james. need it so bad” you blurted out in between whining and moaning. he grins and goes back to stimulating you.
“good girl, do it” he went faster and didn’t stop playing with your clit. your eyes rolled back and you let it go.
your walls clench tight around him, he didn’t stop as you made a mess all over his dick.
as you finished, his thrusts only got harder, you were feeling so overstimulated and you felt like he was close too.
“fuck, sweetheart. gonna cum inside you, that’s alright?” you moaned in answer.
his hips stuttered and you felt his cock twitch spilled inside of you, his juices mixing with yours.
he made sure he got rid of every single drop.
your legs were shaking as he pulled out and tucked himself back into his underwear, you collapsed on the bed and he laid down next to you.
“wanna go back to the party?” he jokes, looking into your eyes.
“shut up” you reply, looking at the ceiling of his room.
“gonna clean you up, okay?” james assured you as he threw you a shirt of his that was under the bed. you put it on but pulled him closer to you.
“okay, but just stay with me for a while if that’s alright.” you asked.
“always” he pressed a kiss onto your forehead and you knew that this was not going to be a one time thing.
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The Fight || Billy The Kid x reader
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Summary: Billy involves himself in a physical fight over you.
Warnings: violence, swearing, blood
Wc: 1,347
A/n: uh- this is my very first time writing a Billy fic so pls bear w me (especially w how they talk and stuff) bc in the the series I don’t really find Billy talking like how ppl write abt him (absolutely not hate whatsoever to those who do, I absolutely love ur fics find you all so talented 😭) so I’ll try my best to be as accurate as I can. Do let me know if I make a mistake so I can improve :)
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Divider by @pommecita
"I'd fuck her any day if she wasn't whoring herself for him," Ollinger slurs, throwing his head back to let the contents of the bottle run down his throat as the men around him laugh. Billy's head pikes up at the sound. Typical Ollinger, talking about some woman as if she was an object.
Billy watches from the other side of the room as he continues to talk to them, his voice becoming louder by the second. "hot for a fucking gringo, and that's saying something," He shakes his head his eyes half close by how wasted he was.
"Wonder how Billy would feel if I had her, don't think he's too keen on sharin?" He nudges the guy beside him before bursting out laughing. Hearing this, he realises that Ollinger was talking about you. Calling you a whore.
He slammed the bottle in his hand down on the table making a loud noise. Pat Garrett and Jessie slightly flinch before they look up at Billy who was already standing, fuming.
"What's goin' on?" Pat asks, his eyes trying to follow Billy's line of gaze. Billy doesn't answer, instead, he storms over to where Bob Ollinger was and his friends. They were all laughing until one of the guys ushered everyone and tapped Ollinger to face Billy.
He slowly turned around, seemingly not bothered by Billy's presence or the fact that he towered over him. "Have something to say 'bout my girl Ollinger? Hm?" He stands his ground, taking another swig of his alcohol as he maintains eye contact with Billy. Everyone in the room had quietened down, eyes trained on the two who never got along.
"Maybe. Wanna hear what I gotta say Billy?" He smirks as Pat Garret and Jessie had already stood up from where they were. Billy narrows his eyes at the man. "I think she's a pretty little gringa you got there, but she needs a real man, not some kid like you-" "You're fucking pathetic, y'know that?" Billy spat, venom laced in his words.
Ollinger seemed to have sobered up when he said that. He looked at Billy with pure rage. "What’d you call me, boy." His blood was boiling at this point. "I said." Billy steps closer, "You're fucking pathetic." He threw a punch at his jaw as Ollinger falls back from the impact and his lack of balance.
At this point the room was cheering the two on as they throw punches at each other. Ollinger swings at Billy but misses, he was glad he wasn't drinking as much that night. He then lunges and aims towards Billy's stomach, knocking him onto the table as all its contents fell on the floor. "C'mon Billy get up!" Garrett pushes him back up.
Billy had a busted lip and a cut on his eyebrow as a trail of blood fell down the side of his face. However, it was nothing compared to the damage he did on Ollinger. "Call a whore one more time, I dare you," Billy yelled, throwing punch after punch as he was on top of him. "Billy! Billy stop!" Billy heard your familiar voice but didn't stop. All he could see was red.
From the moment you stepped foot out of your carriage that dropped you off in front of the pub, you knew a brawl of some sort was going on inside by the way you could hear cheers and the noise of furniture being knocked over.
You hurriedly walk in. You couldn't see what was going on over the tall people who stood in front of you. Weaving your way through the crowd to try and see what the commotion was about, you bumped into Jessie. "Woah there-" "Jessie, what's going on? Where's Billy?" You quickly ask him before your eyes fall onto him.
He was on top of Ollinger, throwing punch after punch. Your eyes widen in horror as you try to go to him but was held back by Jessie who had an arm around your shoulder. "Let me go! I need to stop him Jessie!" You struggle against his iron like grip. "Can't have you get involved in fight, sweetheart. Can’t let you goin' home with a scratch on your pretty face now can I?"
He says against the side of your face as you squirm, helplessly watching the fight. There was blood everywhere and you feared that Billy had killed Ollinger. "Jessie!" You thrash in his grip before he gives Garrett a look who nods and quickly breaks up the fight.
"That's enough, Billy. You got what you wanted," Pat and few other guys pulled Billy back who was breathing heavily, blood covered his shirt and hands. Billy spits on the ground. "All right, show's over!" Jessie yells as people start leaving. Ollinger gets pulled up by a few others as he's dragged away, his body limp.
"Don't you fucking go near her! You hear me Ollinger?" Billy yells before he spits more blood out. "Enough, Billy!" You exasperated, kneeling beside him to take his face in your hands, inspecting it.
Thank god there wasn’t much damage, only a busted lip and a cut on his eyebrow. “For god’s sake Billy! What happened now?” You search his eyes as he stares back at you, blankly. You catch Pat and Jessie looking at you before their eyes find the floor rather interesting. You stand up, dress already spotted in crimson as you brush the loose strands of your hair behind your ears, “What happened here?”
~
You made a beeline to your bathroom. Billy closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of her bed, he let out a groan before falling back onto the soft mattress. He starts to sit up when he hears you walk back in, a first aid kit in your hands.
You hadn't spoken a word to him since the two of you left the pub and came back to your house. You were grateful that your parents were away for the week, they would have thrown a fit if they saw you covered in blood and Billy batted up.
Moving to stand in between his legs, Billy lifts his hands up to rest on your hips but you slap his hands away. "Darlin'-" "I don't want to hear it Billy," You say, annoyance dripping from you voice as he hisses at the contact of disinfectant on his cut.
Billy lets out a sigh, his eyes trained on your angel like face as you attend to his face. "I'm sorry, I really am-" "Five times. Five times you've gotten into a fight because of me." You scoff, tilting his head firmly as you go over his eyebrow.
"You told me you would stop Billy. I can't keep playing nurse with you because you can't bite your tongue," You make eye contact with him. "You expect me to just sit around and do nothing when some guy is calling you my whore?" Billy's voice gets louder as he furrows his eyebrows at you.
You gulp, eyes looking everywhere but him. "Look at me!" He grips your chin with his thumb and index finger, "You've known me long enough to know I ain't that type of guy," He spoke, his eyes darkening.
"And you've known me long enough to know that I can handle whatever they call me. I don't need you getting into a fight every time someone foul mouths me," Your eyes begin to water. You hated seeing Billy like this. You hated how most of his fights revolved around the topic of you.
"They're all worth it, doll. You're worth it." Billy wipes away the singular tear that managed to escape. You sniffle lightly before he pulls you onto his lap, your arms securing themselves around his neck as he strokes your hair.
"Try not to get into another fight because of me," You mutter, your fingers drawing random shapes on his back as you hear him chuckle, "Can't keep any promises, darlin'" He kisses your hair as the two of you hold each other.
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endlessthxxghts · 6 months
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You Better Jump... (part 2 of 2)
no outbreak!neighbor!joel miller x afab!reader || W/C: ≈9k
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Summary: Your neighbor fixed your lock for you. How can you ever repay him? [read part 1 here]
Warnings: Canon divergent (no outbreak) & mentions of Sarah but we don't see or interact with her (AU - she moved out, lives on her own). Partial physical description of reader (having a thick/curvy body, wears a dress/feminine). Reader is a polyglot but no explicit mentions of race/ethnicity. Feminine pet names (sweet girl, darlin’, etc.). Flirty/awkward interactions and heightened sexual tension. Reader’s unhinged bestie <3. Implied age gap, but no explicit mention as to how big. LATINO JOEL MILLER (😫). An oddly weird amount of sweetness for 2 people who just met LOL. SMUT 18+ MDNI: Joel gets turned on at reader being a polyglot LMAO. Overall dirty talk/vulgar language. Dom/sub undertones (not heavy or established but definitely present). Vaginal fingering, p in v unprotected (I’m not sorry), semi-public sexual activity, thigh riding, bit of exhibitionism kink, oral sex (f receiving), squirting (blink and you’ll miss it), spit kink, choking, hickeys/marking… please let me know if I’ve missed anything!!
A/N: HERE'S PART 2 (THE FINAL PART)! ENJOY, MY LOVES!!💚
MASTERLIST
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You and Joel make out like that, with your front door wide open, until you hear a loud meow from what you immediately know to be the neighborhood cat who likes to visit you once in a while. You two break away from each other, breathless, startled from the feline just sitting at the foot of your door.
You look back up to Joel with a cheesy grin on your face, and he mirrors your expression, bringing one of his hands up to run along your red and swollen bottom lip. “Sorry,” he chuckles breathily, “got a little carried away.” 
You slowly lean forward into his touch and take his thumb into your mouth, swirling it around your tongue. “Don’t apologize,” you say. You pull your mouth off his thumb and leave a little kiss to the pad of it, “I liked it.”
He groans, his eyes completely black and the grip on your waist tightens, “Darlin’,” he warns, “I need to take you out properly first.”
You slowly back away an inch with a smile full of trouble and put your hands up in a surrendering motion.
His jaw clenches, “You’re trouble, aren’t ya, sweetheart?”
You shrug your shoulders in response, “Maybe.” You fall to your knees in front of him, slowly, and pick up the tools he dropped before your little makeout session. You stand on your knees, head in line with his hips, and look up at him. You reach around and tuck his tools in the back pocket of his jeans, grabbing onto his belt loops to pull yourself back on your feet, “Thank you for fixing my door for me, Joel.” 
Before you can break away from the close proximity, his arm snakes around your waist yet again and pulls you in, his other free hand going straight for the underside of your jaw. “Pick you up at seven tonight, hm? Wear somethin’ pretty,” he says, leaning in for a deep kiss that sucks all the air out of you, “Somethin’ that gives me easy access, yeah?” 
And with that, he walks out (the cat in tow), shutting the door in the process. 
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
It’s 5 o'clock by the time Joel left you completely speechless at his last words, and it’s 6 by the time you call your best friend to get your ass over here right now and update her on everything that happened, including her stupid ass comment that made it right into Joel’s earshot. Of course, she laughs hysterically at that, slapping the shit out of your arm with every deep breath she takes at an attempt to calm herself. 
“Alright, bitch,” she says, wiping the edges of her eyes from any residue tears, “Let’s get ya dressed, so you can jump-”
“That’s enough,” you say, slapping your hand over her mouth.
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Holy fuck. 
All your life, you were never really confident in yourself. You were secure enough in your identity that you knew you weren’t that bad to the average eye, but you also very much knew that you weren’t jaw-droppingly sexy. That is, until Joel made you feel like the hottest person on the planet with how he couldn’t control himself with you. Mix in your best friend’s way of hyping you up, and fuck did you feel unstoppable. 
You’re not much of a dress person, but you did have a silk, dark green spaghetti strap dress that you bought on a whim a year back. You were slightly skinnier then, but the way it hugs you now accentuates all the right curves and you’ve never felt so fucking beautiful. The dress is also very flowy, having a long slit on both sides, stopping at your hip. Standing, sitting down, no matter what angle, anyone is bound to see a slip of your underwear. Which is totally the reason why you make the executive decision to not wear any, and not because of Joel’s words ringing in your ear since it left his mouth. 
You enter your living room once again, giving your best friend a bit of a show before you kick her ass out, and just as your laughs settle down, you hear a knock at your door. 
No fuckin’ way it’s been an hour already, you think to yourself. Your eyes go wide as you look at your best friend, her expression mirroring yours. You frantically look at the clock on your television stand, and, it has been an hour already, fuck. 
You tell your best friend to hide in your room for now because there is absolutely no way she’s meeting Joel yet. She frowns, but ultimately she listens and runs to your room while you run to grab the door. 
You’re already out of breath from the show you were giving your best friend, and the nerves that were building with Joel on the other side of the door you were about to open is not helping one bit. 
You planned on just side-stepping him and making it straight for his car, so he doesn’t come inside, but as soon as the door opens, your breath hitches. Joel is so fucking sexy, Jesus fucking Christ, you want to swallow him whole right fucking now. As your eyes give him a full sweep, you make it down to his sleek black shoes, and in your peripheral vision, you see that your feet are still bare. Shit, there goes your plan. 
“Well, aren’t you a pretty sight,” he says, also looking you up and down, matching your energy, wanting to devour you just as bad. You smirk up at him and muster up a bashful thank you, but you’re still in a trance from how good he looks. Finally, you feel the outside air tickle your feet, so you start stepping backwards into your apartment, beginning to kneel down to reach the heels you set aside earlier. 
He notices where you’re headed and stops you by gently grabbing you by the hip, “Here, may I?” And before you can even think to decline (which you never would), he’s already on his knees for you, for the second time today, and you can’t help the pooling arousal in your core. Your panty-less core, to be exact, which is now only inches away from him. 
He grabs your foot and situates it on his knee while he works to unclasp the strap. When he does, his rough hands are grabbing your ankle so contrastingly soft and situating your foot into the heel. He makes sure the strap wraps perfectly around your ankle, and seeing how big his hands are, you would think he would struggle with such a tiny buckle. But no, he clasps it faster than even you would, and he finishes off by leaving a sweet kiss just above where the strap lays on you. He hears your breath hitch at that, so, like the menace he is, he places three more soft kisses, making the journey higher up your leg. And before you can beg him to keep going, he’s already switching your feet around, and repeating the exact same process to your other foot. Including the three kisses up your leg. He looks up at you, a smug smile and a playful sparkle in his eye, “Ready, pretty girl?”
“Y-yeah, I-I’m ready,” you stutter out, eyes already glossed over. He stands at full height now, his hand falling to your lower back as he guides you to the front door. He pauses, though, and you look up at him slightly confused. “I reckon she won’t be here when we get back, but, uh, aren’t ya gonna introduce me to your little friend?” 
Your eyes go wide, “How-?” You begin to question, but his fingers are already at your chin, guiding you to look at the black Jeep, backed into a parking spot next to your car, with a bumper sticker of a half set of butterfly wings. It perfectly matches up to the sticker on your car, making a full butterfly. “Oh,” you say defeated but also impressed he picked up on such a little detail. It makes your heart warm a little. 
He lets you go from his grasp, and you turn your body in the general direction of your room and yell, “Bitch, get out he-” 
It’s as if she had her ear to the door the entire time, waiting for the moment she could dart out because she doesn’t even give you a moment to finish your statement. She’s already in front of you both within seconds. 
You give her the eyes that she immediately translates as please play it cool, but you both know she won’t. “Hi, Joel, right? I’ve heard lots about ya,” she spits out at the speed of lightning as she holds her hand out for him to take, and she quickly follows by introducing her name. Joel chuckles at her eagerness and his date’s obvious embarrassment. It’s endearing. Reminds him of his relationship with Tommy. It warms him to know you have a true ride or die in your life, it’s rare to come across these days. 
Eventually the introductions are over, your best friend is headed back to her home, and you and Joel are headed to some restaurant that he refuses to tell you the name or where it is, just that the “Drive is worth it, I promise.”
“A 40 minute drive?” you say jokingly just to rile him up, “This better be the best goddamn thing my mouth is ever gonna taste, then.”
His stare breaks from the road for a moment to look at you, then it’s back on the road. But he has a shit-eating grin on his face. “We might as well turn around then, huh? Because the best goddamn thing that mouth of yours is ever gonna taste is not available in any restaurant, no matter how far or fancy.”
It takes you a minute to register, but when it does, you can feel your cheeks and ears heat up, spreading down to your chest, and eventually his dirty implication forces the heat to settle in between your legs. “Christ,” you say under your breath as you shift your hips in his passenger seat, not wanting your already soaked pussy to get anywhere. 
Maybe you should’ve worn some panties after all. 
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You guys are on the last stretch of your drive, about ten minutes left, and Joel’s hand has found his home on your thigh, thoughtlessly rubbing his fingers up and down. However, your mind is completely racing because fuck you just wish he’d move up a little higher to where you are absolutely begging for him the most. 
As if he hears your plea, his hand goes higher and higher, but then he stops. His hand goes rigid, grip gets a little tighter, and his breath gets a little heavier. His hand is high enough to where he should be feeling the hem of your underwear, or at least that’s what he was expecting to feel. 
“Darlin’?”
“Yes, Joel?” you say as innocently as possible.
“Are you not…?”
“No,” losing the innocence in a matter of seconds. 
“You’re fuckin’ killin’ me, baby,” he grits out as his hand resumes his path to your wetness. The closer he gets, the more your hips try and angle upwards so he can reach you better, and as soon as his fingers are running through your folds, you’re fucking done for. 
“We’re not leavin’ this car ‘til you cum at least twice on my fingers,” he says, his voice completely dark now. “Ya hear me?” He questions as he applies pressure to your clit.
“Fuck! Yes- yes, please, Joel,” you whine out. You shift your body slightly towards his direction, and you open your legs as much as his truck allows you to. Immediately, his fingers slide from your clit and come down to your entrance, spreading your wetness all over you. 
He dips into your hole, just one finger in and slowly starts pumping in and out. You’re so turned on by him that just one finger is enough to make that wet squelching sound from going in and out of you. You let out a moan at the action, your one hand shooting to grip the handle of your door and the other gripping onto his bicep. “You make the sweetest sounds for me, darlin’,” he says to you, southern twang increasing in line with his own arousal. 
“Please, baby-” you mutter as your head falls back. His one finger speeds up at your words, “Oh, c’mon, use those words,” he teases a second finger at your entrance. 
He’s only using one finger right now, and you’re already fucked out, unable to speak or think. You so badly want more of him, though, so you will yourself to talk. “Oh, p-please, an- another finger, Joel, please.. n-need you so bad, please,” you beg. 
“That’s right, baby, usin’ your words for me,” he slides his second finger in, “Dámelo.” Give it to me.
“Oh my god,” you damn near scream out, his words spurring you on more than you’ve ever felt. More slick leaks out of you at his Spanish command. Of course he’s fucking sexy and has the filthiest mouth, in multiple languages, known to man. His two fingers are coming in and out of you at a delicious rate, the thickness and length of him hits that sweet spot in you without even trying. “Touch your clit, baby,” you barely hear him say with how blissed out your head feels. Slowly, you let go of the door handle beside you and bring your hand to your clit, rubbing messy circles on your center, coaxing your orgasm closer and closer to the edge. 
“Fuck, Joel, your fingers-” you say as he works you open. “My fingers, what? Go on, lemme hear you, trouble.” 
Your breathing speeds up to an erratic pace, hot and heavy, “t-too fuck-” your moan cuts you off as your orgasm approaches. He makes his fingers bend in a motion that hits you right where you need it, and- “Oh, fuck, I’m cumming, Joel.” 
“Fuck, yeah, that’s it, baby,” he says, his movements slowing momentarily. 
In your foggy haze, you find yourself peaking at the time, and- It’s only been four fucking minutes? Never has a man ever been able to make you cum that fast. Your past girlfriends, absolutely, but the men you slept with? They’re not even worthy of the label boyfriend if you’re being completely honest. Whatever the case is, you just know Joel has you absolutely fucked. You knew this from the start, of course, but it’s finally setting in. When he’s knuckle-deep inside you while less than ten minutes out from your mystery date location. Chivalry isn’t dead after all, huh?
You’re brought back from your slight distraction when you feel him pull out of you. You whimper at the loss, your hips raising for more. “I know, sugar, I know,” he comforts, “I just have to get a taste before I lose my fuckin’ mind.” His fingers disappear into his mouth, licking and sucking every last drop on him like you’re some lifesaving nectar he’s been searching all his life for. He lets out a pained groan, “I need to taste ya for real, fuck.” 
He gives you no time to react to his words because his fingers are back inside you in no time. This time he pumps into you with a steady pace but a deep pressure that has you unable to take a single breath in. Your eyes are rolled back, and it feels like you’re drowning. Like you’re being consumed in everything Joel, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
Sweat is dripping down your neck at this point as the heat spreads from the apples of your cheeks to the swell of your breasts all the way down to your core. The sounds flowing out of you are uncontrollable and pure filth, and it’s riling him up so much that he is in literal physical pain. His hand that’s on the wheel is gripping so hard that his knuckles are ghost white, and his entire face is flushed with the utmost amount of pained self control you’ve ever fucking seen. 
“C’mon, my filthy fuckin’ girl,” he grunts out, “almost there, baby, need one more from you,” his pace finally speeding up in the way that he knows, from your first climax, will end you. He tried keeping his pace slow on purpose, so he can draw out all your beautiful moans and gasps and drag you further into that floating state of mind, but you’re nearly at your destination now and he so desperately needs to get out of this car before he drops his gentlemen promise and pulls over to take you right here in his truck. Unbeknownst to you, he pulls into a parking space that is completely excluded from the general population, and he leans over to bring his hand on your jaw to make you meet his eyes. 
“You look at me when I make you cum, yeah, trouble?” he asks, though it’s not much of a question. Your eyebrows furrow as you look at him and you try to answer him, but you’re feeling too good that as soon as you starts, “Anythinforyou, Jo-” your orgasm cuts you off and your mouth falls open with the most desperate and needy moans you’ve ever heard yourself make. 
He continues his movements as you let yourself fall deeper and deeper, and only until the overstimulation begins to hit you do you realize where you are. “W-when did we park..?” you groan out as he removes his finger from your spent pussy. He chuckles at your cluelessness, “Few minutes ago, sweet girl,” he says as he brings his fingers up to his mouth yet again to lap up your arousal. The action alone has your pussy clenching for something more. 
As if he can read your mind, “Later,” he smirks at you. “Let’s eat,” he adds as he gets himself out of the car and walks to your side, opening your door and guiding you out. “Thank you,” you say shyly, unable to look up at him and as you stand on your jello legs. 
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The restaurant he takes you to is absolutely gorgeous and lively. It’s an Italian restaurant, small and homey, and it seems like a locally owned business. It’s extremely dim, and the main sources of light are purple and red, pointing in the direction of the live music. You two are sitting in a booth in a dark corner, intimate and excluded. 
“This place is really beautiful,” you tell him with a smile that makes the butterflies in his stomach flutter. “You eat here often?”
“Y-yeah,” he stutters. Why is he nervous now when he just had you coming apart on his finger merely moments ago? Human emotion is a peculiar thing. “Actually, sorry-” he blurts. You sense his nerves, but you don’t mention it. It warms you that he’s actually nervous. It shows you he’s actively wanting more than just your lust-filled endeavors. You rest your arm along the table, your hand resting palm up near his own, offering him comfort. Silently telling him you’re nervous, too, for whatever it’s worth. He takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers with one another. You can see him physically relax. “I don’t really eat here often, but my daughter has dragged me here once or twice. The food is really fuckin’ good.” 
“I’m excited,” you squeeze his hand to reflect your excitement. You’re usually the one making the pasta or any Italian dish you’ve been craving because cooking is what you were bred to do. Cooking is the way to the heart, your nonna always taught you. No matter how traditional the sentiment was, it was one you carry with you always. Naturally, you were a bit reluctant to indulge, but the entire atmosphere here screams authentic Italian culture, reminding you of your nonna and soothing your reluctances.
You both scour the menu for a moment, but you both settled on an option fairly quickly, your waiter comes right on queue. “Ciao! Can I start us off with anything to drink?”
Too enraptured by your food options, you forgot to decide your beverage. Before you can even begin to think, Joel is already on it. “Could we get two glasses of red, your house blend, please?”
“Right away, sir, I’ll be back with those in a moment and take your order, then,” he says as he steps away. Immediately then, another individual appears with two glasses and fills them up with water while you wait. 
Joel’s focus is on the water being poured, while you’re still devouring him with your eyes. You and him never had a chance yet to talk about your backgrounds or your interests, but so far he’s doing a damn good job at dissecting you: your favorite food being Italian and your drink of choice always being red wine, and he got that, all unprompted. 
Finally, his eyes meet yours and the sultry look you’re giving him makes him immediately heat up, his red flush making its appearance again. “What?” He gives you an amused grin.
“Oh, nothing,” you say as you lean back in your bench seat, “I just- you’re really impressing me. It’s quite the turn on.” 
His expression turns from amused to aroused in seconds. “Oh?” He leans forward. “Tell me more?”
Before you can indulge, your waiter is back, placing a wine glass in front of each of you and pouring your glass a little over a third way full before he sets it down to begin taking your order. 
“What can I get started for you guys?”
You signal for Joel to go first. The look on your face screams mischief, so he doesn’t question it. He orders the filet mignon gnocchi, tonight’s special. The waiter turns to you. 
“Buonasera! Vorrei la carbonara, per favore,” (Good evening! I would like the carbonara, please) you say as you beam up at the waiter. His expression brightens tenfold as he realizes what language you just spoke to him. “Perfetto, la carbonara,” (Perfect, the carbonara) the waiter writes down, then looks between the both of you, “I’ll get these in right away.”
“Grazie,” (Thank you) you say, and you hear a small thank you coming from Joel as the waiter walks away. You and Joel meet each other’s gaze. 
“You-” he breathes. He looks really shocked. And utterly turned on. “You speak Italian?” You don’t remember when, but his hold on your hand switched to running his finger up and down your forearm. Chills fall down your spine. “Mhm,” you respond with, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible while you reach for a sip of your wine, as if you don’t know how much you just completely rocked his world. 
“Fuckin’ trouble, I tell ya,” he says under his breath as he tries to casually adjust himself under the protection of the table and the dark lighting. 
After your meals come out, the next 45 minutes are spent in easy conversation. You ask him questions that prompt responses ranging from telling you about his daughter to him being a single father to his contractor business with his younger brother, Tommy. In return, he asks you questions about your family, your best friend, and the question that’s been burning him all night, “Where the hell did you learn Italian?” 
You chuckle at his eagerness. Who knew Joel Miller would have an auralism fetish? You wonder what else could spur him on. “I can ask you the same about your Spanish,” you say as you wipe your mouth from any pasta sauce. “Throwing your words at me while you have me wrapped around your fingers, literally.” You say it so casual yet bold that it does nothing but fire him up more. His self control slips more and more with every flirty and filthy word your mouth utters. 
He clears his throat and takes a deep breath to compose himself. “Grew up bilingual,” he offers. 
Southern drawl with a Spanish tongue? Yes, please, you think to yourself. You hum in agreement. He picks up on it. “Ah, I see.”
“Not bilingual, though,” you clarify with a smirk, mainly to test out just how turned on he’ll get at the prospect of your tongue being versed in a variety of ways. 
One hand of his tightens as if he’s trying to really hold onto the string that’s keeping his self control at bay. 
You sit and think for a minute. You grew up in a mixed ethnic household, so you have a few options you could choose to reveal right now, but there’s one in particular that you know will make him snap. 
The waiter hands the bill directly to Joel. He’s writing down the tip and total as he murmurs to you, “What else do you know?” The waiter comes back and offers you both pleasantries and bids you goodnight, in Italian to you and English to Joel.
You lift your napkin up off your lap and begin to stand. He starts, but freezes as soon as you begin to speak, “Bueno,” you breathe out. “Me encantó la comida, pero tenemos que ir a la casa, ¿qué piensas?” (Well, I loved the food, but we have to go home, what do you think?) You begin to walk in the direction of the exit, but you don’t feel his warmth radiating from you, so you turn back around. He’s sitting back down at the edge of the seat. You go back to him and put your hand on his shoulder. “Joel…you okay?”
“Yep,” he says strained, “Just, uh- need a minute.” Both his hands are situated on his knees and he’s leaning over a little. Your eyes drift to in between his thighs and god damn he’s hard. Painfully hard. His bulge is so big it has you holding back a whimper at the sight of it. 
You can’t help but make this situation worse for him, it’s in your nature. So you bring your mouth down to his ear and in a low whisper, “Faster we get into the car, the faster I can take care of that for you, big boy.” 
He stands at full height now, his body completely flush and towering over you. He takes one look at you and his hands are on your waist, spinning you around and guiding you to the car without a word. 
You can feel yourself walking faster than you’ve ever done in your life, and thank Heavens you do because as soon as you reach the car, he wastes no time in turning you around and pinning you between the driver’s side door and his body.
His lips meet yours in a frenzy, it’s a clash of hot breath and tongue, and you take all of him in fervently. His tongue passes over yours in a way that has your knees buckling. He clocks it immediately and before you know it, his thick thigh is slotted between yours, nudging your core. You moan into his mouth at the pressure, and he pulls away to grab your jaw, forcing your attention onto him. “Gonna give me another one, baby?”
“Joel-” you start, but he cuts you off. “You’re gonna give me another one, right here, right on my fuckin’ thigh,” he demands, his grip on your jaw tightening with his words, “Am I understood?”
You nod your head frantically as much as his grip allows you, followed by a “Fuck, fuck, yes, Joel, yes, I understand,” and your hips start moving on their own accord. “That’s it,” he chuckles, eyes blown out in his arousal for you. One hand wraps around your waist while the other bunches the front of your dress so he can see the mess you’re creating on him. 
If anyone were to walk by right now, they would get a full view of your sobbing cunt rubbing all over his dressed thigh. It’s lewd, it’s pornographic, and it would definitely get you arrested for indecent exposure and disorderly conduct. And even though those reasons should be enough for you to stop what you’re doing and tell Joel you want to just get home first (which he’d be more than willing to oblige to for your comfort), you don’t want to. The prospect of someone walking by to witness what this hunk of a man can reduce you down to is enough to push you to the edge that much faster. 
He slightly rocks his thigh back and forth in time with the grind of your hips, the now wet fabric catching enticingly on your clit. Joel’s grip on your waist tightens, encouraging more pressure into you. He lets go of your dress to slip his fingers in between your cunt and his thigh, adding more stimulation to the bundle of nerves as he pushes himself into you to meet you in another wet kiss. His lips leave your mouth and make its way down your jaw to just below your ear, and he bites. Hard. The searing sensation mixed with everything else makes your vision go white, and you’re literally creaming all over his black dress pants. He soothes that part of your neck with more sucking and licking as your hips come to a halt, his fingers still rubbing slowly, ever so often teasing them at your entrance. 
Your full weight is leaned against his truck, and the only reason you’re still standing right now is because of his hold on you. He knows this, so keeping his one arm around your waist, he slowly pulls away from you to bend down and bring his other arm under your knees. He picks you up and cradles you to the front seat of his truck. He sets you down gently, buckles you in, and before he steps away to the driver side, he uses his pointer and thumb to nudge your chin up to his level, and he kisses you so sweetly, the butterflies in both your bellies fluttering like crazy at the feeling. “I can’t get enough of you,” he whispers. 
“Then take me home, cowboy.” 
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Ironically enough, your car ride back to your apartment is filled with the sweetness of each other’s presence, your main conversation of getting to know each other from dinner picking back up. The first few minutes of pulling out of the parking lot and getting onto the main road was you bringing yourself back down from your orgasmic high. You wanted to take care of Joel, so that’s what you started to do as soon as you gained your consciousness again, but he stopped you. 
“Trust me, darlin’, I want you to so fuckin’ bad,” he says as he regretfully puts your hand back on the middle console and engulfs your hand in his. “But, at least, for tonight, I need to get you off before I do.” 
You look at him even though he can’t meet your gaze. The gesture is heartwarming, you’ve never had anyone like this before. And although pleasing your partner is equally as pleasing for you, you don’t argue—but you are confused. “You did get me off, though…three times already?” 
He smirks and meets your eyes for a moment before turning back. “That was just your appetizer, baby,” he lifts your hand up to his mouth and leaves a kiss to the back of it. 
Your eyes go wide, “Oh,” you squeak out. You can’t help the giggle that escapes you, “Okay then.” 
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
As soon as he parks, he’s out of the car in an instant, opening your door and guiding you out again. You walk up to your door, fumbling for your keys to unlock it. He’s behind you, lips hungrily kissing up and down your neck and your shoulder. As soon as you get it open, you turn around to face him, your lips smashing into his and tugging him into the house as you walk backwards towards the direction of the nearest piece of furniture possible. He kicks your door shut and swiftly locks it, his one hand only leaving you for an unnoticeable second. 
You were trying to lead him to your living room, but somehow you ended up crashing into your dining table. He doesn’t care though because his hands are grabbing at your hips, hoisting you up. He breaks the contact with your lips and you whine at the loss, but immediately he’s kneeling. Third time today, you think to yourself, could definitely get used to this view. 
“Told ya, I needed to taste you for real, sweet girl,” he says as he runs his hands up your thighs. “Spread your legs, baby.” 
You gather the front of your dress and let it pool beside you, your bottom half completely bare to him. You spread your legs and bring your hips to the very edge, your core completely at his mercy. His eyes grow completely black at the view, your wetness dripping out of you. 
He secures his hands at your hips, borderline grasping at the globes of your asscheeks, and your thighs hooked on his shoulders. He leaves warm, open-mouth kisses up your thigh, alternating between both. Once he reaches your sex, you realize there is absolutely no stopping him until he’s had his fill. Your one hand stays behind on the dining table to hold you up while the other flies to the back of his head, gripping the curls at the base of his neck. 
You’ve never felt anything like this before. His plush lips kissing every place vulnerable to you with such a velvety sensation, his tongue pushing into you and nudging areas you didn’t know a tongue could reach, and his nose—My God, his fucking nose—providing life-altering sensation directly on your clit. 
The only noises in your apartment are the sounds of his slurping mixed with your high-pitched moans and occasional dirty praise, and you’re sure your neighbors can hear you, but you’re feeling way too fucking good to even care about that right now. 
“Just like that, fuck-” your hips start grinding into his face, “-shit, you feel so fucking good, Joel, yes!” You gasp out as his rhythm changes, forcing you to the edge for the fourth time tonight. 
He pulls you in impossibly closer and shoves his face impossibly deeper, and at that moment, your orgasm crashes into you. Your arm that was holding you up gives way and you fall back into the dining table, back arching while your thighs tighten around Joel’s head. The feeling of being completely consumed by you eggs him on so much that he can’t bring himself to stop. He continues devouring you like his life depends on it, his moans and whines vibrating you deep within. You don’t know if it’s another orgasm hitting you or an aftershock from the one you just had, but all you know is that your ass is completely off the dining table and he’s holding you into his face drinking every last drop.
You use all your strength to pull yourself back up, both your arms behind you to hold you up. You try and scoot your ass back onto the table, but Joel is still gripping onto you, spoiling the entire area with slow, deep kisses. He gives extra attention on your thighs, sucking bruises that’ll flourish through the night. Loving the sensation but not loving the way your ass is hitting against the table, you softly call his name with a smile full of adoration, “Let’s take this to my room, maybe?”
He stands to his full height while scooting you back to be able to sit properly again. His smile mirrors yours. He grabs your face with both his hands and pulls you in for a kiss. It’s soft at first, but tasting yourself on him is a taste you don’t think you’ll ever tire of. Your tongue caresses his bottom lip, and he opens, pulling you in, his tongue embracing yours in an all-consuming dance. 
Your hands begin to roam at his sides, making your way to the buttons of his dress shirt, and it’s then that he pulls away, remembering the question you asked. “Wait, wait,” he says. He opens your legs a little more so he can step in between. His hands are underneath you once again, and he nudges you forward, wordlessly telling you to wrap your legs around his waist. So you do, and he picks up, chuckling at the squeal you let out when your body reaches the air, and he leads you to your bedroom. 
He lets you plop onto the edge of the bed and get yourself situated in the center. He finishes what you started and starts undressing himself. His shirt is the first to go, unbuttoning, untucking, and letting it fall to a random place on your floor. Looking down at you ready for him, he takes a step closer, unbuckling his belt, pulling them out of the loops, letting it follow the same path as his shirt. 
He’s been catching the way you’ve been admiring all day, so he indulges in your fantasy a little in the way he undresses himself for you. With every article that gets removed, he watches your eyes grow hungrier, your breathing heavier. You’re too occupied at the sight of his body, you don’t make any move to pull your dress off, but that’s okay. Joel wants to be the one to unwrap his dessert. 
Joel removes his pants and boxers in one go, and you let out an involuntary gasp at the sight in front of you. He is fucking huge. His length isn’t overbearing, but it’s his fucking girth that’s throwing you in for a loop. Your anxiety starts to rise a little; you have never been with a man as well-endowed as Joel and no strap-on you’ve taken could ever resemble what you’re about to take right now. 
You fell into your overthinking, not realizing that Joel has made his way over you. He grounds you with a kiss, stealing all your worries. He grazes his finger over your forehead, pushing a hair away. The action makes you melt. Oh, there goes the butterflies, again. He guides your head to angle down to kiss your forehead, then your nose, and back to your lips once more. He makes sure your eyes are on each other before he says, “We do not have to do anything more if you are not ready, sweet girl.” 
He’s been pretty dominating all night, which you don’t mind at all, but this coming out of his mouth at the fire of your anxieties completely distinguishes them. You know you’re safe with him. Your eyes tear up and before you speak, you snake your hand to the back of his neck and yank him into you for another kiss. As he pulls away, a tear falls, but his thumb catches it. 
“I trust you, Joel, I need you,” you say as you lean into the warmth of his hand, “Please.” 
“Sit up for me real quick then, darlin’,” he says, sitting back on his haunches and pulling you up with him. His hands find the hem of your silky dress, and he slowly guides it up your thighs, up your torso, and you lift your arms off so he can guide it off completely. Now it’s his turn to admire. It’s as if his eyes don’t know where to look first: at your luscious thighs, your beautiful tummy, your full chest. “You’re so perfect,” he whispers, not meant for you to really hear, but it makes you flutter all the same. 
“Lay down for me, baby,” he says as he continues admiring you. You lay back down again, reaching your arm up to drag the pillow below your head. You spread your legs, inviting him in, letting him know you’re ready. But what he does next absolutely surprises you. He grabs your leg at the ankle and lays kisses everywhere. Up your calf, the bend of your knee, all around your thigh in the areas he marked earlier. He reaches your mound and makes no move to dive in. Instead, he lays kisses in the area, even a kiss is placed directly on your clit. You moan at the feeling. He mirrors his actions on your other leg. Then, he bends forward and begins kissing your tummy. Kisses in the general vicinity of your belly button, your ribs, making his way up your sternum. 
Granted, your body is buzzing in arousal right now, and you’re making a puddle in your sheets, but mentally, the way he is appreciating your body has you feeling utterly content. 
Your hand finds its home again in his neck just as Joel reaches your breasts. He continues his journey and kisses all around, his tongue swirling around your nipples. Your back arches at this, and you feel him smile against you as his hands wrap around your ribs, his thumbs caressing underneath your boobs. His mouth makes its way to your neck.
His mouth transitions to longer, wetter kisses, leaving trails of spit on the valley of your breasts and on your neck. The cooling of his spit coaxes a whimper out of you, wanting more of him. Wanting to drink him. His mouth finally meets yours and it’s slow but desperate, your hips lifting to meet his at an attempt for any kind of relief. His tongue massages yours and you can feel the spit build up; you eagerly try and lap it up. 
You pull him away for a moment, slightly bashful to ask, but you need it so bad. “C-can you…” your gaze slips from his. His hand on your rib comes up to rest on the lower part of your neck, his fingertips grazing your jaw but also softly guiding you to look at him again. His eyebrow quirks up at you. Go on, he’s telling you. “Can you, uh- I-” you completely fumble. “Words, trouble,” he smirks, the nickname eliciting a sense of comfort within you. 
“Canyouspitinmymouth, please?” You rush out with your eyes clamped shut, scared of what his reaction would be. He doesn’t say a thing, waiting for you to come to your senses and open your eyes. As soon as you do, he’s on you again, kissing you like before you pulled away to ask your question. Except this time, his fingertips secure themselves on the hinge of your jaw and nudge you open. Your lips but a whisper apart, his spit falling into your mouth, as your tongues’ tips dance around one another. 
The moans you let out for him are sounds he never wants to give up. He’ll let you drink him dry if this is what he hears in his last breaths. 
He pulls away, a spit string connecting you both. You lean forward, attaching to his bottom lip for a moment more before you let yourself pull away, then you swallow.
“Fuck, that was so hot,” you breathily giggle. He smirks at your antics, leaning in for another kiss to distract you. He reaches for another pillow above your head, and as your kiss becomes more heated, you grind your hips up into him, giving him perfect timing to slot the pillow underneath your lower back. 
You pull back, “Wha-” you start to question, but he’s quick to respond. He sits back up for a sec, “It’ll help,” he says, and he brings both your legs into a bent position, like frog legs, in a way. Your confusion immediately fades as you physically feel your pelvic floor open up. Oh. 
“I thought you were a contractor, not a chiropractor?” you tease. 
“Watch it,” he warns. “You know, I could just,” his fingers graze your glistening entrance, “force it in,” he slips a finger in, slowly. You gasp, teasing demeanor gone in an instant. “No preppin’ this tight little thing,” he pulls his finger completely out, you whine in response. “How ‘bout that?” 
A barely audible please escapes your mouth, unsure of what it is you’re begging for, and you feel your pussy clench at his words. 
His eyes darken, “Oh, she likes that idea, huh?” He’s leaning over you now, kissing your jaw and neck as he grabs himself by the base and lines his tip up to your warmth. “Maybe next time. Right now, trouble, I’m takin’ my damn time with you.” 
He grabs himself by the base and guides himself to your entrance, his other hand at the side of your head. He lets his cock grind against your wet folds for a few moments, covering himself in your earlier climax, and then his tip catches at your entrance. You both let out a sharp gasp at the sensation, and he slowly starts pushing in. 
“Oh, fuck,” you let out.
“So fuckin’ tight,” he whimpers, “so fuckin’ good, fuck.”
Your pussy clenches at his tone of desperation, and his one arm moves to situate underneath the curve of your back, accentuating it. He’s halfway in you and the painful yet pleasing stretch of your pussy has you closing your eyes at the sensation. 
“Baby, eyes on me, need t’see you,” he says, reaching down to nip your bottom lip. Your eyes shoot open and your brows furrow, your pouty face doing nothing to ease his yearn of just pushing completely in you with no remorse. 
Finally he bottoms out, both your hips flush with one another, and being completely engulfed in you like this, he can’t hold out any longer. “Look, doll,” he rasps. His hand beside you snakes underneath your head and he’s lifting it for you to look down. “It’s like you’re made f’me, huh?” He says as he begins to pull out of you until only the tip is in. 
Your eyes are fixed on the sight below you. Your pussy absolutely stretched out, his dick completely covered in your juices. You don’t have the mental capacity to form anything coherent. Joel knows that, so giving you no time to acknowledge his filthy words, he pushes inside you again. This time much faster and much harder. 
He continues that rough and fast pace for a while, kissing and biting everywhere his mouth can reach, relishing in the constant moans and whimpers spewing from your mouth. 
“S-so big,” your voice quivers. 
“But you’re takin’ it so well, sweet girl,” he replies, voice husky and strained. He sits up a little to stand on his knees, his pace faltering momentarily. His arm from your waist moves down to the underside of the bend on your knee. He pushes your leg higher, opens you up more. The angle makes you flutter around his cock, and he can’t help but speed up. 
“Fuck,” he grits out, “not gonna last with that, sweetheart.”
His hand beside your head moves to rest at the base of your neck, his fingers splayed wide across you, giving him more leverage to rock in and out of you. You feel your body wanting to arch up into him, but the hold he has on you and the angle you’re in gives him complete control over you. The thought brings you higher, and you can’t help what spills from your mouth next. 
“‘S okay, Joel, p-please,” you moan, “Use me, use my pussy, daddy.” 
His hand trails a little higher and now he’s completely wrapped around your neck, his thrusts sloppy, but harder than you’ve ever felt before. “Say that again, sweetheart?” he rushes, hurtling towards his release. 
You let both your hands come up to grab ahold of the hand wrapped around your throat. You pulse your grip, hinting at him to squeeze. He gets it, and within seconds, his fingers are right on your pulse points, applying pressure and giving you a yummy dizziness. 
Your breath hitches and your voice picks up in pitch, “U-use me, daddy, I want your cum, please.” His other hand reaches for your clit. You gasp out. Immediately then, a lightbulb turns on in your mind, and a dazed smile forms across your face.
“Yeah, baby, that what you want?” he says as his ministrations on your clit picks up, his cock kissing that sweet spot inside of you, over and over again. “Wanna be pumped full of daddy’s cum?”
“Ay, dámelo, papi, dámelo.”
It’s as if you two were really standing on an edge of a cliff, and you pushed him off with just your words. He roars out an addictive moan, and his release coats your walls. The warmth flooding in you and the pulse of his cock mixed with his fingers still circling, and you’re getting pushed off the cliff with him. His fingers begin to slow, and he’s letting go of your throat. He leans back over you to meet your lips, and you take him in. Quite sloppily, though, you’re doing the best you can with the feeling of his hips still slowly rocking into you, the overstimulation milking both of you for all that you’re worth. 
You both stay like that for a few minutes longer, basking in the softness of him on your lips, inside you. 
But then immediately he pulls away — and pulls out. You both hiss at the feeling. 
“Shit! Fuck, I’m sorry-” he starts blabbering, but you cut him off with a finger on his lips. 
“Hey, hey, hey, breathe,” you say as you take a deep breath for him to mirror, “What’s going on?”
He takes a deep breath and repeats himself, calmer this time. “I’m sorry, I didn’t ask where you wanted-” he gestures to his cum beautifully dripping from your entrance, “I know how risky that was- and we didn’t even use protection, I-” his panic starting to rise again. 
You put your hand on his sternum and put a little pressure, figuring if your anxiety sits there, it’s worth a shot to see if that’s where his sits, too. It does. He looks down at your hand and back up at you, kind of shocked but not more than the situation at hand to question how you know that would help.
“A few things,” you say as you keep your hand on him. “One, I never stopped you, we both took the risks. Two, luckily enough for the both of us, I’m on the pill.” He smiles at that. “And three, even if I wasn’t on the pill” you continue, “I wouldn’t mind picking up a Plan B if it meant I got to feel you like that inside of me again…” your voice trails off and immediately he pulls your hand away from his front up to his mouth to press several kisses on your palm, bursting in lighthearted laughter, his anxiety fading away. 
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You and Joel laid in bed, tangled up in each other, for a little while longer, but he could sense the mess started to make you a little uncomfortable. He pulled both you and him off your bed, guiding you with his hands on your hips but ultimately letting you take the lead to your bathroom. 
He guides you to your toilet and starts scouring your bathroom to find your washcloths. Once he does, he soaks it in warm water, and falls down to your level, so he can clean you. You reach out to grab the washcloth, thinking you’re gonna be the one doing it, but he’s quick to swat your hand away with a smile. He asks softly, “May I?” 
Your eyes meet his, and all you can see is a genuine softness and a genuine yearn to take care of you. It makes you breathless. “Yeah,” you return his softness.
Being the pretty kinky and adventurous person that you were, aftercare always existed for you. Albeit, some of your past partners were more tender than others, but none of them treated you in a way that made you feel like you two were endgame. There’s something about Joel and the way he can be so soft, warm, and appreciative. He’s so experienced and considerate that you know he’s probably had his fair share of lovers in his past, but the way he treats you makes you feel like everything back then was solely leading him to this very moment. Like he spent years searching, and now that he’s found you, he needs to make sure what’s his is truly being taken care of in the way it deserves. 
The thought and his actions should scare you, but they don’t. 
There are people who spend years dating each other, still trying to figure out if they’re meant to be. There are married couples filing for divorce because they learned that they weren’t for each other after all. 
There are others who get married after six months because they just know. Then, there’s you and Joel. Obviously you’re not going to marry him tomorrow but as you sit here, letting him care for you in such a way you’ve never felt before, you feel it. The rightness. The belonging. He’s gonna be in your life for a long, long time, and one of the most important people in your life at that. You don’t say any of this, though. You can’t. It’s too soon. 
So, for now, you’ll just let your actions speak louder than words, and show him just how much you need him in your life. 
“I’m cooking for us next time,” you say, pulling Joel from his own thoughts.
“Okay,” he says without a second thought. Unbeknownst to you, he was thinking the exact same thing as you. 
He feels it, too, and just like you, for now, he’ll let his actions speak louder than his words. 
He reaches over and plops the washcloth into the sink, his eyes on you. 
“Only if we christen the dining table before dinner.”
Your eyes widen and your cheeks go hot. 
Yeah, you are absolutely fucked. And so is he. 
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I hope you guys enjoyed!🥹 As always, feedback, comments, reblogs, etc. is extremely appreciated! Thank you to every single one of you for welcoming me with open, loving arms. I'm giving all of you forehead smooches right now. I love you all. So much.
EDIT: As of the new year 2024, I no longer do taglists!! Follow @endlessthxxghtsnotifs and turn on the notifications to be updated when new stories come out!!
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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HELL YEAH <3
#🌙 rambles#went outside today#i didn't sleep last night bcs i#i really felt so. down? depressed? sad? idk but i was struggling emotionally mentally and physically and that hurt#i hate it when i feel that way bcs even in my darkest times i still genuinely love myself.#there's no point in hating myself when i'm the only person that can love my own self the most#that one drk quote in lvl 70 mhmm also the one at 80 <3 i'm a drk main fr#ffxiv spoilers: 'in your darkest hour in the blackest night... think of me... and i will be with you. always. for where else could i go?'#'who else could i love but you?'#going outside served as a reminder of how much i love life#being w my classmates at the school campus for the social action project in our class ( that we're still working on even tho it's summer )#i miss that. yk hanging out/spending time with ppl f2f#taking in their whole being. their heights compared to your own. the subtleties of their facial expressions. body language.#+ that certain sort of familiarity and recognition#really reminded me as well tho of how uh 'mahinhin' ( fil ) i am. shy gentle soft? + quiet as well#but also sweetly affectionate + a sense of self-confidence + an air of inner peace#goddamn i miss pre-pandemic sm. online is chill and fun as well but i really miss real life interactions offline.#getting to know ppl f2f and making friends w others offline is smth i miss even as a shy af introvert#god i love analyzing and taking in everything around me in f2f. the subtleties in everyone's actions. the meaning behind them.#anyways going outside really reminded me to take better care of myself. i was pale at some point earlier n genuinely felt like fainting#ang init kse kanina wtf </3 😭 and i forgot to bring/drink water so i was seriously dehydrated#+ i'll also exercise more & sleep better & eat better 🥺#yeah <3#i feel good rn so i'm gna be productive <333#i'm still stressed and sad the intensity of my love passion and hope greatly outweighs the former#hmm thinking abt it rn actually that a lot of stuff in ffxiv eloquently put into words my own thoughts#i'm genuinely very happy rn. i love life. i really do <3
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Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*
*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.
Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:
as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)
while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates
Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)
That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:
***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.
I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***
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Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.
But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?
Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:
C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?
Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*
Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:
A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice
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A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…
Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:
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C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?
He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.
Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.
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A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*
And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:
SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed
(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)
I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?
"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.
In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.
And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.
So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.
If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.
"Then nothing has to change, does it?"
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explorevenus · 1 year
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something permanent, pt. 3 ♡ yandere!leon kennedy x reader
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nsfw (18+) - minors ! u know the drill! dni or i will call ur mom
find part 1 here ♡
find part 2 here ♡
find part 4 here ♡
reminder: this is a dark fic, if any of the following bothers/triggers you, do not read: yandere!leon, kidnapping, manipulation, corruption/training, forced daddy kink, forced breeding, noncon, stockholm syndrome
word count - 6.9k (nice)
description -  despite every alarm bell going off within her, darling attempts an escape. leon does not take kindly to it, and darling grapples with conflicting emotions. oh, and, those six weeks are up.
description/tags -  yandere!leon kennedy, dark!leon kennedy, fem/afab!reader, pet names (doll, princess, sweetheart, etc.), forced daddy kink, forced breeding, gaslighting if u squint, degradation, isolation, stockholm syndrome, noncon (kind of dubcon tho if we’re being honest), reader gets restrained, leon is honestly rly mean in this one for a min but he gets better i promise, reader is traumatized, fingering, oral (f receiving), praise kink, overstimulation, multiple orgasms
a/n - first of all. THANK U FOR 700 FOLLOWERS. WHAT. THAT’S INSANE. i’m so glad everyone is liking this series and wants to see it continue-- the engagement has been so inspiring and i don’t think i’ve made this much quick progress with my writing in like. months. so thank u ;w; ♡ that being said, as always, my ask box is always open for discussion on this series, i love hearing everyone’s ideas/thoughts/interpretations ♡
my masterlist ♡
my ao3 ♡
taglist - @dollrxst​ @ifeelikeflying​ @nexyswrites​ @idekman111​ @starcrossedreaders​ @litepowee​ @tosuckmyweenis​ @cosmicerror83​ @pb-n-aj​ @myeowza​ @honeysoakedbandages​​​
fic below the cut !! thanks so much for reading and i hope u enjoy ♡
- venus ♡
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As soon as you heard the front door shut behind him, you switched back to the news channel just to see the faces of your loved ones, if anything else. They took turns speaking of how much they missed you, how worried they were, what they wouldn't give just to know you're unharmed. You could hardly imagine what they must be thinking. They probably thought you were already dead. Perhaps you may as well have been.
The newscaster droned on about different ways to reach out with any information on your whereabouts and how to support your loved ones as they work to locate you. You wondered if Leon already knew about your friends and family telling your story to the media. With their contact information out there now, you found yourself worrying more about their safety than yours.
Eventually that portion of the broadcast came to an end and transitioned to coverage about a local event you couldn't care less about. You turned the TV off, laying flat on your back on the bed to stare up at the ceiling in silence. What were you supposed to do?
Sadly, the answer wasn't simple-- if you tried and failed to escape, you would be putting yourself in danger by landing yourself back out of Leon's good graces. If you tried and succeeded, you would potentially be putting the heat on your loved ones, whose homes would inevitably be the first place he'd look after your own. You weren't sure he'd be as forgiving with them as he would be with you. After all, he loathed the idea of hurting you... physically. He didn't seem to care much about the mental aspect.
Your heart was pounding against your ribcage with anxiety. The room was beginning to feel as if the walls were closing in around you and in that moment, your panic made your decision for you.
You had to at least try.
Chest heaving with panicked breaths, you sprang up from your place on the bed and began tearing through the room in search of something to get the door open with. Your hands were trembling as you ripped your way through every drawer, every shelf in the closet, even beneath the bed. Finding the bedroom void of anything useful, you made your way to the bathroom and administered the same treatment.
Throwing open the cabinet, you nearly cried with joy as your eyes landed on a pair of tweezers. They were a bit high up in the cabinet, so you crawled up on the countertop so you could reach them. You snatched them up, nearly dropping them with how badly your hands were shaking, before rushing back into the bedroom and to the door.
Dropping to your knees, you slotted the flat end of the tweezers into one of the screws on the doorknob. Your weak arms twisted, and after some resistance, the screw began to turn.
"Yes!" You laughed to yourself, dropping the tweezers to the floor in excitement. Quickly, you picked them back up and continued removing the screws from the doorknob.
Once the final one was gone, dropping to the floor beside you, you tugged with all the strength in your body.
Nothing.
Your chest tightened. Trying not to panic even further than you already were, you took a deep breath and gave it another pull and still, nothing. Then you realized the lock itself was the culprit. If you were going to get out this way, you'd have to take the entire door off. If you were going to do that, you'd need something to stand on so you could reach all of the hinges.
Pushing one of the bedside tables over to the door, you climbed atop the wood and put the tweezers to work again.
One hinge off.
Two.
Now you were on your knees, tongue poked out in concentration as you twisted off the final three screws. You felt electric, never having been closer to making it out. The final screw dropped to the floor in front of you and you held your breath as you supported the door with one hand, gently pulling it out of the doorway. It was heavy, your arms shook as you moved it out of the way and propped it up against the wall.
You took a minute to bask in the sight of the hallway before you. The house was dark and vacant. You had nothing but time and solace to figure out the other half of your escape.
You weren't sure where Leon was keeping your shoes-- he insisted you didn't need them anymore since you weren't supposed to be going anywhere-- so you padded your feet with two thick pairs of socks, slipped a plain black hoodie on over your sweater and bolted down the hallway. You nearly slipped descending the stairs, catching yourself by the wall in the nick of time, heading straight for the sliding glass door. 
Shockingly, you didn't even have to take that one out of its mechanism, let alone break it-- the lock lever was right there in front of you. You almost didn't take the opportunity, worried that it was suspiciously too easy, but at the same time it would be a shame to pass something like that up. Shakily, you flipped the lever, heartbeat slamming in your ears at the clean sound of the click, and as you slid the door open in front of you, you were so relieved you nearly vomited.
Warily, you stepped one foot out into the backyard, and then another. The sun felt incredible. There was a slight breeze going that carried some of the heat off of your skin. You hadn't realized how much you missed the smell of car exhaust and fragrant spring trees until this exact moment.
Now, if you could just find your way to a main road, you could properly discern where in the city you were and therefore, how far you were from your apartment.
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Little did you know you were correct in assuming your escape, despite the effort, was far too easy to be real. Through his work for the government-- which you knew nothing about-- Leon knew a thing or two about surveillance. How else would he be able to keep tabs on the search for his "missing" darling and make sure those pesky little posters with your face on them stayed in the trash where they belonged?
He was halfway through typing up a report in his office when his phone pinged with a notification.
Motion alert: Movement detected at back door
Leon stiffened, opening the notification to be met with the image of his nightmares-- live camera footage of his darling, dressed in all black, attempting to climb the tall wooden fence in the backyard.
He was quick to abandon the task at hand-- mission reports were not nearly as important to him as you were-- and he wasted no time grabbing his keys and storming out of his office. Leon made a quick comment to one of his coworkers that there was an emergency requiring his attention and he needed to leave before rushing toward the parking garage with large strides. 
Now it was his heart hammering away in his ears. He couldn't stand the thought of making it home too late to stop you. He couldn't stand the thought of you hurting yourself climbing the fence. More than anything, he couldn't grasp why you would do this. You had been so sweet to him lately and he was sure you were finally coming out of your shell and accepting the fact that the two of you were made for each other, that you were made for him and him only. 
But you hadn't. You were lying to him each and every day. It was this realization that halted his sadness in its tracks and filled him with a level of white-hot anger he hadn't experienced in a long, long time.
Leon broke every speed limit imaginable on his way back to the house. It was a negligent price to pay to ensure you stayed where you were meant to. His hardened eyes switched constantly between the security camera footage and the road in front of him, any regard for the safety of himself or others gone with the wind. He watched as you came back outside with a dining room chair to place in front of the fence. All he could see was red.
He came tearing down the street, barely giving the car enough time to come to a complete stop as he threw it in park, yanked the keys out of the ignition and exited in nearly one motion.
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Your heart sank into your stomach at the sound of a car door slamming shut. You froze in your tracks.
It's just the neighbors. It's just the neighbors. It's just the neighbors, you tried reassuring yourself, planting the dining room chair in the squishy grass right up against the fence.
But then you heard the unmistakable sound of the front door swinging open so hard it banged into the wall.
Oh god. Oh fuck.
Hurriedly, you climbed atop the dining room chair, knees wobbling, trying so hard to convince yourself you were just imagining the heavy, nearing footsteps behind you. Body numb with adrenaline, you gripped the top of the fence and hoisted yourself up, planting one foot against the rough wood to help push yourself up and over when a strong hand closed around your other ankle with a vice grip, yanking you down from where you stood.
You screamed as you fell to the cold, hard ground, hoping someone would hear you, but Leon was quick to scoop you up against his chest and clamp his hand over your mouth.
"Where do you think you're going, doll?" He asked, not one bit of sympathy in his tone. He was squeezing your body so tightly in his arms that it genuinely hurt. You almost worried he would crush your bones.
You were thrashing in his hold, kicking your legs out wildly in a futile attempt to throw him off his balance, but you knew it was useless. You wanted to answer him, to tell him some stupid lie about how you just wanted some fresh air, but there was no point now, not that you even could given his hand was over your mouth. He was already angry with you, the angriest he'd ever been in fact, and to that point you had no idea what you were in for.
Leon dragged you back into the house, not even reacting to the way you struggled in his arms, and as he stepped through the doorway you couldn't help but wish you'd savored the time spent outdoors a little more, because there was no way he was ever going to give you that chance again.
He released his hold on your mouth to reach for something you couldn't see-- you were less concerned about whatever it was than you were about saving your own ass.
"I-I'm sorry, daddy, I'm so sorry--"
He scoffed. "No, you're not," Leon replied coldly, tone laced not just with anger but with hurt. "Y'know, sweetheart, I thought we had something really special. Did you not promise to behave yourself for me this morning? You were acting so strange, I knew you were up to something, and still, I found it within myself to trust your word that you would do right by me. Yet, here we are."
You wailed, gasping for breath, "I-I know, daddy, I'm sorry, I swear, I'm so sorry-"
He simply covered up your mouth again as he began to ascend the stairs, freezing in his tracks as he looked down the hallway to see his bedroom door off its hinges. Leon's muscles stiffened, cranking even tighter around you-- you could hardly breathe.
"Just look at what a mess you made, you ungrateful brat," He spoke through his teeth, shaking with fury. "Did it ever cross your empty little brain that I keep you here for your own good? That I might be protecting you from all the awful, evil people of this world who just want to hurt you? God, if you're going to keep acting like an animal, I should really start keeping you on a leash."
There was little time to dwell on the plentiful irony within that statement. He continued to charge down the hallway, tossing you unceremoniously onto the bed as soon as he set foot into the wrecked bedroom. You tried to scramble away from him and back toward the door, but he wasn't having it-- now acutely aware of your inclination to escape, he simply snatched up your wrists in one hand and pinned you back down to the bed.
He pulled something from his back pocket, and you weren't sure what it was at first until you felt cool metal against your wrists and heard an unmistakable click. You froze in horror, looking up just in time to watch him finish fastening your handcuffs and locking you to the bedframe.
"D-Daddy please, please don't do this, I-I'm sorry--"
Enraged, he punched the wall right above your head to silence you and you could have sworn you heard it crack.
"No, you're not, but you will be," He nearly growled, taking a step back so he could gesture to the state of the room. "If I had known you were going to destroy our home and rip a door off just to do the one thing I asked you not to do, I would have tied you to this bed a long fucking time ago. Do you even hear me when I speak to you?"
You were crying so hard you couldn't see, knees drawn up to your chest as the cold metal cuffs bit into your skin.
"Answer me!" Leon demanded.
"Y-Yes, I hear you, I-I'm so--"
"Sorry?" He finished your sentence in a mocking tone. "Bullshit. This requires far more than an apology and you know it, don't you princess? That's why you're so scared. Brave enough to break the rules but too afraid to face the consequences... It's pathetic, really."
Your lip quivered as you tried and failed to control your breathing. You couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said earlier, about making you sorry. You couldn't possibly imagine what he meant by that.
The more you thought about it, the more you became frustrated-- in a dizzyingly short amount of time that frustration began clouding over your distress. You weren't sure how much longer you could put up with this before he'd break you. Pleading with him didn't work, begging for his forgiveness didn't work, and hell, playing by his rules didn't always work either. Suddenly you were no longer crying because you were scared, you were crying because you were pissed.
"You wanna talk about what's pathetic, Leon?" You shouted through your tears, glaring straight up at him, speaking his name with the highest volume of venom you could muster. "You're just a fucking loser who couldn't land a girlfriend like a normal person, and you're taking it out on me. If you have to shackle me to your bed just to get me to stay with you, it's not too hard to see why no one else ever wanted you."
You could see his jaw clench. Leon leaned down to your level, faces so close together you could feel the heat of his heavy breaths as he gripped your chin harshly, forcing you to remain at attention.
"I know what you watched on the news this morning," He said, voice so low with anger it might have chilled you to the bone if you weren't so completely fuming. "This is why I keep you here, sweetheart, because those horrible people just say whatever they can to get into your head and turn you against me when all I've ever done is protect you. They must be so miserable."
Now it was your jaw clenching. You almost laughed.
"It took a lot less than that newscast to turn me against you," You scoffed, trying to ignore how sore your arms were already becoming from being tied up above your head. "You took me away from everything I've ever known, stripped me of my identity and my freedom just so you could live out your delusional fantasy. You're sick in the head, Leon, and I don't want to play your game anymore. You don't need me and you sure as hell don't need a family, you need to be in prison. You need professional fucking help."
He... grinned?
He grinned.
His eyes hardened over in a way you'd never seen before and although you resisted showing it, it made you so nervous you could have puked right then and there.
"That's where you're wrong, baby," He bit back condescendingly. "I don't need you telling me what I need when you're the one who's been led so far astray. It's not me that needs saving, it's you, and I have every intention of filling up that pretty little head of yours with what's right, what's real. One of these days, you'll be thanking me."
Your rage consumed you completely-- in a split second decision, you spat in his face, speaking through gritted teeth, "Fuck you."
Ever so slowly, he raised a hand to his face to wipe off the saliva, not breaking eye contact with you for a second. He collected your spit on his fingers, staring you down in silence for a moment as if he were expecting you to backtrack and apologize, but you didn't. 
"You don't mean that," He spoke as he pried your mouth open with the hand that held your jaw and shoved his spit-soaked fingers inside. "Poor, dumb little baby. You don't even know what you're saying anymore, and I'm the delusional one?"
You tried to bite his fingers but his hold on your jaw was strong.
"No biting," Leon demanded. "Try it again and I'll pry every last tooth out of your bratty mouth."
Well... you couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, but you decided you'd rather not test him. All you could bring yourself to do was reminisce about how nice the sunshine felt on your cheeks, how pleasant the breeze felt in your hair, the rough wooden fence on your soft palms as he held his fingers in your mouth until you'd adequately sucked them clean, swallowing hesitantly. Only then did he withdraw from you, hands shaking in manic fury as he pulled up the calendar on his phone and shoved it in your face, showing you an event he had entered that was coming up in three days.
It was simply marked, six weeks.
You couldn't help it-- you shuddered, trying as you might to will yourself to just keep thinking about the sun and the breeze and that fence, all so painfully close but so far away.
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You couldn't sleep.
You laid wide awake, arms still bound to the bedframe by the metal cuffs that were biting into your wrists, staring at what you could only assume was the ceiling as the lights were off and Leon was asleep beside you. He'd only let you out of your restraints to use the bathroom, after which he'd force you right back into place, locked up tight every time.
It was the night before the big day, the six week mark. Leon hadn't returned to work since you'd attempted your escape and you could only imagine what excuse he'd pulled to get out of it. He did mention he held a good amount of power in his workplace, so you were certain none of his subordinates felt any reason to question his word anyway.
He'd removed anything even remotely capable of being used to hurt yourself or facilitating your escape from the room. No TV, no tweezers, no razors, no belts, no medicine in the cabinets. He'd put safety covers on all of the outlets and replaced the digital alarm clock with an analog one-- no radio, either. If your family was still out there pleading for answers, you would have no way of knowing.
Exactly as he'd planned.
The worst part-- which you never thought you'd catch yourself thinking-- was that he was practically ignoring you. He'd hardly said a word to you or looked in your direction since you'd tried to escape. He would pipe up every now and then in select situations, seemingly only to scold you. You'd tried to get back at him with another hunger strike, which he didn't take kindly to. You'd yelled and kicked at him and begged him to uncuff you, to which he would just grumble that you were being ridiculous and needed to calm down or he'd never let you out until you could prove to him you deserved it. Other than that, silence. Complete and total deafening silence.
Shamefully, you craved his attention. You didn't realize just how nice it felt until he'd withheld it from you entirely.
You nudged his sleeping form with your knee, speaking out in a sweet, sad voice, "Daddy?"
Leon shuffled a bit beside you, putting a hand on your knee to stop your prodding. "What?" He asked, voice gravelly with sleep.
"I can't sleep," You whispered.
Despite how wrong you knew it was, you hoped he would feel sorry for you. You hoped he would let you out of your restraints so he could properly pull you into his arms and rub your back until you'd finally slip away into a dream. Part of you hoped he might at least stay awake and talk to you for a while.
But he didn't.
"Count sheep," He dismissed you, rolling over to go back to sleep.
The analog clock ticked.
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Now it was Leon shaking you awake.
You groaned, trying (and failing) to bury your head into the pillow while restrained on your back.
"Get up," He said sternly.
"Leon, please, I just fell asleep not that long ago--"
"That's too bad," He yanked at your restraints to shock you into consciousness. "I know what you need to do to regain my trust."
That statement alone was enough to get you to pry your tired eyes open and look at him. Morning light had flooded into the room. He was already dressed and sat at the edge of the bed, looking at you expectantly.
"And what would that be?" You asked.
Leon reached into his pocket and pulled out a small key, unlocking your cuffs. Your arms were dead and fell heavily to the bed on either side of you as you let out a breath of relief-- your limbs throbbed and tingled as the feeling returned. Still, he wasted no time taking ahold of you, pushing a pen into your dominant hand and a notebook into your other.
"You're going to write to your family, and you're going to tell them to quit looking for you."
Your mouth went dry. "W-What? Are you serious?"
"Dead serious," He answered you. "If you want to convince me that you're really trying to get better and behave for me, that's what you need to do."
Sleep deprivation and discomfort left your brain foggy-- you tried to think through what you were going to do, but as much as you wanted to tell him to fuck off, you weren't sure you could stand another length of time being cuffed, and you really weren't sure you could handle him continuing his vow of silence with you. You swallowed thickly.
"O-Okay," The agreement fell from your lips before you could stop it. "That's it?"
He crossed his arms. "It's a start. I need to know you're committed to this, to me."
"And what do I get in return?" You asked.
Leon scoffed. "A sliver of my trust back. Don't get greedy on me, now, princess."
You stared down at the book of blank pages in your lap. You wondered if it was worth it, if they'd believe whatever bullshit you'd churn out on that paper, if they would really give up. If Leon would really start to trust you again.
Finally, you clicked the pen and began writing with your dead, heavy hand.
Hey, it's me. Ever since I left my job, my apartment, everything, I've felt so free. Lonely, sometimes, but free. Please don't make this harder than it needs to be. Maybe some day we'll see each other again, but I need to do what's best for me now. Even if it hurts.
Never think that I don't think about you all the time. Only always do I miss you. This is just a better place for me, where I am now. So don't worry about me. After some time has passed I may write again just to let you know I'm okay. Freedom has never tasted so sweet. Even if it kills me sometimes.
Leave every worry you have about me behind. Every last one. Of course I still love you and I understand how you all must be feeling, but even so, I need you to stop looking for me. Now, please, leave me in peace.
You looked over every last shaky word with pride. You hoped Leon wouldn't read into it too closely as you handed it off to him. It wasn't particularly a cleverly coded message, in fact it was rather rudimentary, but all you could do was hope they would read between the lines and Leon wouldn't.
The first letter of every sentence spelled out your true message: HELPME NOTSAFE LEON
You hoped it would be enough to point them in the right direction, if they even noticed it at all.
"Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Leon asked, folding up the page neatly and tucking it away in his pocket as he quickly reached for the notebook and pen-- he couldn't risk you turning around and hurting yourself with either one of those items. "I'll send this off to them soon, but today is just about us. You know what today is, don't you princess?"
Panicked tingles washed over you. You nodded stiffly. "S-Six weeks," You mumbled.
"That's right," He smiled softly, cupping your cheek. "Such a smart girl. Our kids are going ivy league, I can already feel it."
You flashed him an incredibly weak smile, but said nothing.
"That being said, I think you know what else you need to do to gain my trust back, don't you?" He asked, resting a hand on your thigh, looking down at you with a smug look on his face, like he'd won.
Of course you knew what he wanted, you were just hoping you weren't correct in your assumption.
You shook your head. "What?"
He chuckled pitifully, like he just couldn't begin to imagine how empty your head must be, how easily molded with such a lack of intelligence. It made your skin crawl. Finally, he answered with exactly the words you were terrified of hearing.
"Relax and let me put a baby in you," He said softly. "You know that."
"Right," You nodded, casting your gaze down to your hands, feeling your heart begin to pound-- there was no getting out of this. After what you'd just been through over the past three days, you couldn't bear the idea of making him angrier. The fight left you for now and you shrank into yourself.
His hand traveled a bit further up your thigh, fingertips squishing softly into the meat of your flesh. "You are going to give me a baby, right, doll?" Leon asked, face unreadable, but you weren't stupid, you knew this was a test. He hadn't exactly made a habit of asking you for your opinion on anything.
With a quiet, measured breath, you willed yourself to return his gaze, looking straight into his cobalt eyes as you forced a much more convincing smile than the last one.
"Yeah, of course," You spoke through your teeth. "...Daddy."
Leon visibly softened at that. At the end of the day, it pained him to punish you and he couldn't possibly stay mad at that face. He still felt you had a lot to atone for, but that didn't matter to him in that moment. All he could think about was feeling your cunt wrapped around him again after such a dreary six weeks, pumping you full of his cum until neither of you could take it anymore, until it leaked out of you, until there was no possible way you weren't knocked up.
The blonde shifted on the bed, kissing up the length of your leg until he rested his chin on your hip. "Good answer, princess," He mused. "We're gonna be so happy. I promise. You're gonna be the prettiest mama in the world."
You looked up at the ceiling, body going numb with fear. There was no way you could handle bearing and birthing and raising your captor's child, being tied to him for a minimum of 18 more years, having to explain to a child why mommy isn't allowed outside of the house.
As you pondered your future, Leon was busying himself with your body-- he was already growing hard just feeling your warm, soft skin beneath his hands, breathing in your scent, dragging his lips along your navel just to savor you. He'd so terribly missed experiencing your body this way. As hard as it was for him to hold off, he wanted to make this moment as special for you as it was for him.
With your contraception gone and your wounds healed, this would be his first real try at getting you pregnant, the first real chance his seed might take. Leon could hardly contain his excitement.
His fingertips tickled over your electric skin as he reached for your panties, pulling them slowly down your legs. Parting you by your thighs, he looked at your pussy with stars in his eyes, as if he'd never seen something so beautiful. All you could do was lay there and wait for him to get on with it.
You thought of the sun on your skin. Leon drew a finger up the length of your cunt, settling between your legs so he could bury his face in you, nose bumping your clit softly as he began to lap at your folds. You thought of the breeze in your hair. He gripped your thighs on either side of his head, pressing one down to the bed to pry you further open as his tongue flicked at your jewel, coaxing desire unto you. You thought of the soft grass beneath your socks. He groaned into you with satisfaction, sending vibrations through your lower half. You thought of the sound of birds. Two fingers prodded at your entrance.
Suddenly you stiffened, tears rimming your eyes-- all you could think of was the incident, vivid memories of the throbbing pain and the blood and the look on his face flooding back to you, filling your mind and body with a sour feeling.
You tensed, squirming in his hold.
"D-Daddy," You stuttered. "I-I don't want fingers this time... please."
It took him a second to will himself to pull away from you, looking up at you through his lashes with spit and slick glistening over his reddened lips. "Are you sure, sweetheart? I don't want to hurt you."
You nodded. "It's just... I'm scared."
"Scared of what, baby?" He asked, resting his cheek on your thigh as he continued to idly circle your clit with his thumb.
Your lip quivered, tears leaking from your eyes and dripping down the sides of your face. You looked back up to the ceiling, afraid to show him how rattled you were. "I can't stop thinking about it."
When a few seconds passed and he hadn't moved or answered you, you dared a peek down at him-- at first he looked a bit confused, like he was trying to search his brain for whatever "it" was, and then it dawned on him and his eyes rounded with guilt.
"Oh, sweetheart... no, no, that'll never happen again," He rambled out, voice dripping with concern. "I promise. It's over now, you're all healed up. You're better now, princess."
"I-I know," You said, trying desperately to conceal your tears, bringing a hand up to your mouth to quiet yourself. "I'm just scared. I can't stop thinking about it."
Leon frowned. Your attempts not to alert him that you were crying were in vain, he definitely noticed, and it shattered his heart. He pressed a soft kiss to your clit in place of his thumb. "You just need me to remind you how good it feels, huh? Don't be scared, okay? I've got you. I'm right here."
His words hardly quelled the ice cold fear that ripped through your body like a shockwave. You weren't sure how exactly that was the solution he'd landed on, but you'd given up on trying to understand his way of thinking by now. Whether you meant to or not, your body remained stiff as he resumed his ministrations, tongue dancing over your jewel, fingers pushing deeper and deeper into you, slowly, as if that would make you feel better.
You kept your hand over your mouth to silence your cries, desperately trying to keep a handle on your breathing while every fight or flight response in your body was pounding the alarm. Your eyes screwed shut as he began to drag in and out, pads of his fingers brushing over your sweet spot. You were paralyzed with fear, viscerally uncomfortable, and ashamed that you were enjoying this.
Sucking particularly hard at your puffy clit, Leon delighted in your reaction as you whimpered, completely unbothered by your tears. As far as Leon was concerned, you were in need of a good fuck to set you back on the right path and he had every intention of giving that to you, and more. He was more interested in fucking all that brattiness out of you than anything else.
Your face burned hot with shame and tears as you felt a quick peak rising deep in your stomach, wishing he wasn't so fucking good at this. Everything in you screamed to push him away, but something louder begged you to stay put and relax.
Oddly enough, that "something" had a voice that sounded a lot like Leon.
Unable to hold back anymore, you began to sob as your release gushed over Leon's face and fingers, wishing you would just die while he dragged out your orgasm, praising you quietly.
"That's it, good girl. Good fuckin' girl," He grunted into your pussy, lapping up every last drop of you. "Feels good, doesn't it, baby?"
You couldn't breathe well enough to answer him. Before you could stop yourself, you found your free hand grasping down at him, reaching desperately for his hand. He granted you that with enthusiasm, squeezing your palm lovingly.
"Oh, sweetheart... you're alright. Just breathe for me, pretty girl, I'm right here," Leon cooed, withdrawing his fingers from inside you but again, continuing to toy with your clit just to keep you stimulated and pliant. "You did so good for me. I'm so proud of you."
You clutched his hand like you would die if he let go, all the while he peppered your stomach with kisses as he rose to meet your gaze, pulling your hand away from your mouth so he could plant his lips there. Sighing into his kiss, you tangled your arms around him and cried into his mouth, too absorbed by him to notice he was unbuckling his belt with his free hand.
Leon pulled away from you just long enough to undress, gifting you another kiss before rutting his hard cock against your folds impatiently.
"Fuck, you feel so good... You have no idea how badly I missed fucking you."
"I-I missed you too," You cried, but you weren't referring to the six-weeks-no-sex thing. Just hours ago he was three days deep into ignoring you completely, and now he was giving you everything you'd wished for.
The tension in your muscles released and you went dumb, letting your head fall back as you submitted to the feeling of him, the head of his cock brushing over your clit, the pearly precum that leaked from him slicking your already wet cunt even further.
With a shudder he sank into you, watching your face in awe as your jaw dropped at the dull sting of his cock stretching you out. You whined softly, clenching around him, drawing a lustful sound from him that you weren't sure you'd ever heard before, but it certainly did something to you. His hips bumped into yours as he impatiently thrusted into you down to the hilt, dropping his head down to suck and nip at your throat.
"So fucking tight," Leon grunted right into your ear. You clutched at his strong shoulders, your body temperature rising at the praise and the second knock at your hips as his hips pushed forward again. "God, you were made for me, princess."
He stayed still for a moment just to bask in the sensation of your gummy walls clenching impatiently around him, begging to draw his cock further inside than he could possibly go. It wasn't long before he couldn't help himself anymore, planting one hand beside your head and the other firmly on your hip as he began railing into you.
You were babbling out broken cries, nails digging into his shoulder blades hard enough to draw blood, but you had a feeling he wouldn't mind. The bedframe was bumping into the wall with increased volume, sending bits of drywall from the hole he'd punched earlier flittering down into your hair.
Leon's thick cock was passing over all of the most sensitive parts of you, stirring up the need inside you so quickly that you almost felt dizzy. You were holding on to him for dear life, slinging a leg over his hip to draw him in as closely to you as possible. His skin was rosy and warm, littered with beauty marks and the occasional scar here and there. You wondered if he'd tell you where they came from some day.
Some day. You shook off the thought, trying to stay in the moment. It was just easier that way.
"H-Harder," You pleaded, taking your lip between your teeth.
His face lit up, curling his fingers into your skin with a bruising force as he picked up the pace and pounded into you, reaching deeper than either of you thought was possible-- the swollen head of his cock was bumping into your already sensitive cervix, pulsing a pain through you that made you squirm and see stars. Oddly, it wasn't entirely unpleasant.
"So good," You shivered, letting your shaking hands slide up to tug at his hair. "I-I'm close again, Leon, I'm close--"
With a hum he slowed down again, watching with amusement as you griped at the loss of the sensation. "That's not what you're supposed to call me, is it, sweet girl?" He taunted you. "Already fucked stupid, aren't you? Not a single fucking thought behind those eyes."
"Daddy, please," You relented. "Wanna cum. Wan' it so bad, please..."
He made a show of pondering for a second, ultimately deciding your apology would do, just this once. Tonight was meant to be special and he was sick of punishing you by now. Hiking your leg up over his shoulder, Leon thrusted into you twice as hard as before, if that was even possible, making you cry out with bliss.
You were already close, but Leon really wanted to make sure he got you there. Sneaking a hand between the two of you, rubbing achingly slow circles into your clit. Your eyesight blurred as you yanked at his hair, twitching around you as not one but two orgasms crashed over you almost painfully, one after the other soaking his cock and the sheets with your release.
Desperately in need of a break, you writhed in his arms and tried to push him off of you, but he wasn't budging.
"Nuh-uh, none of that," Leon chided, gripping your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head. "Take it, baby, just take it. Gonna put a fuckin' baby in you, make you mine."
Your tears returned with a quickness as your limbs twitched with overstimulation, wondering just how much more he had in him. Funny enough, now you were begging him to slow down again. He wouldn't, though. He was far too close to his own release but terrifyingly good at not showing it.
Just when you thought you were genuinely going to pass out, his pace stuttered and he pulled you further into him by your hip, hands still pinned above your head as he stuffed himself as deeply inside of you as he could physically manage, and you felt the unmistakable warmth within you as his seed flooded your cunt.
Leon continued to fuck his cum into you with a few more lazy thrusts, catching his breath as he leaned over you with a smile. He let go of your wrists and cupped your chin.
"That's it, sweetheart. Y'feel that?"
You nodded, dizzy, arms latching around him once more.
"Good. I'm gonna make sure you're pregnant in no time, I promise," He chuckled breathlessly, brushing his lips over your forehead. "Just gotta make sure it takes."
Leon pulled slowly out of you, watching as a pool of pearly white cum seeped out of your hole and puddled on the sheets. He was quick to swipe it up with his finger, pushing it deeply back into you. After all, he couldn't stand the thought of a single drop going to waste.
part 4 ♡
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muniimyg · 6 months
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2.5: stfu 》 series m.list
note: my friends 🤭 how are we? this ch is jus fluff & rlly jus out here to give insight w their dynamic as friends !!! hope u enj 💛
taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “c2u” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main
fic taglist: @mint--yoongs @ellesalazar @bloopkook
//
Jungkook is a dick. 
Okay, he isn’t exactly a sly bitch-ass motherfucker… He’s just a little miscommunicative, a little forgetful, and a little annoying sometimes… Let’s just say he’s lucky he’s hot. 
“I thought you wanted to make out,” you half-heartedly complain as he finally notices you for the first time tonight. He chuckles before settling beside you. Your body itches for him to be closer. Instead, he keeps a friendly seating distance. “How did we end up here?”
Let’s set the scene.
You two are in a karaoke room with your friends. The boys are belting out their sad love songs while your best friend, Yuna, continues to down as many drinks as possible. Currently, she’s celebrating being ghosted, and this karaoke session was actually her doing. 
Yuna has been your friend since the beginning of time. With that being said: you two are complete opposites. She likes surprises and showing up… You like planning and ditching. She has her fair share of passionate flings and you have your fair share of boring boyfriends. It’s truly a work of balance between you two. Regardless, you love her with your entire heart and can’t wait for her to meet better men. On the other hand, Yuna holds a flaw that sickens you to your very core. Since the first day Taehyung introduced you and her to Jungkook, she has not shut up about how cute of a couple you two would make.
Aside from that, Yuna is chill. Your friendship with her is completely low maintenance. It’s hard to feel offended when you’ve always known she’s been closer to Taehyung. They’re the best of friends. Naturally, she texted Taehyung the ground-breaking news and he quickly got to work. He called all the boys up and then they all headed to Jungkook’s. Unfortunately, they beat you there and Jungkook didn’t have enough time to text you a warning. As you stood outside his door, you quickly caught on and pretended like Jungkook had communicated the plans with you. 
To be honest, it’s not like you needed Jungkook tonight. If anything, it was him who wanted to see you so bad… But you can’t help but feel irritated that the night turned out like this. 
It feels a little weird. 
You know you can touch him. That’s allowed, right? You two are friends and harmless physical affection is okay! It’s like, you know you reach over and touch his hand; he would hold it. You know he would.. So why isn’t he? 
It’s too early for you to swallow your pride.. However, that doesn’t stop you from having needs.
He should make the first move.
“I mean,” he takes a quick sip of his drink, “I’m a little shy… Oh! Idea… How about you kiss me first and I promise to kiss you back.”
You glare at him, shoulders dropping at his answer. Like always, he’s being a piece of shit. Swiftly, you take the drink from his hand and chug the rest of it down. When you finish, you hand him the empty glass and as you’re about to say something—he reaches over and wipes the top of your lip. 
You sit still and take in this moment. He’s slightly leaning in and his eyes are on your lips. Surely, he’ll fold, right? You want him to. 
When he pulls away, he puts his glass down. “I’m right here. You gonna do it or not?”
“We’re literally at a fucking karaoke room with our friends, Jungkook.”
“So?”
“I’m not exposing myself this early on!” you whisper-shout. 
He snickers. “And just how long is this supposed to last? Are we gonna be a secret forever?”
You shrug, having no answer for him. “This is stupid. You’re the one who asked—begged—me to come over and make out with you. You said you wanted to kiss my lips and my—”
“I know what I said,” Jungkook chides. “I meant what I said. Nothing changed.”
You poke his chest and repeat yourself. “We’re in a karaoke room with our fucking friends.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I had no choice! Blame Yuna!”
You gasp. “I would never!”
His shoulders slump, feeling defeated. “___, what do you want me to do? Fuck you in the bathroom—”
Your eyes widen at his blunt words. Quickly, you cover his mouth with your hand. He licks it in response and you groan in disgust. “You’re disgusting!”
“Pay back for spitting back at me the other night.”
Your eyes dart at him. He laughs and puts his hands up in defeat. “Relax. They aren’t listening to us.”
As you wipe your wet hand on his shirt, you take his word for it. Then, you move away from him and cross your arms in frustration. Jungkook playfully inches closer, murmuring apologies. You shake your head, pout, and turn the other way. 
Jungkook feels stuck. 
Was he really in the wrong? Did he go too far? Did anyone even hear? You’re just so uptight sometimes… It wouldn’t hurt to laugh, right?
That’s exactly what he figures to do.
Jungkook calls over the mic and stands up to sing. Everyone calms down and gives him their undivided attention.
“Uh,” Jungkook begins, “This is for Yuna!”
“No thanks!” Yuna rejects, raising a shot at him. She drinks it in one go and giggles. Jungkook winks, turning his attention to you. You cover your eyes with your hands and ignore the rest of the boys' cheers. 
“If I were your boyfriend, I’d never let you go. I can take you places you ain’t never been before. Baby take a chance or you’ll never know. I got money in my hands that I’d really like to blow… Swag, swag, swag on you,” Jungkook sings cheekily. He takes his time, doing body rolls, and makes his performance much more dramatic with the help of Jimin and Nam Joon. 
Suddenly, the boys all join in.
They turn Jungkook’s special number into the performance of the night. They hype each other up and even create a choreo. Towards the end, Jungkook kneels in front of you and serenades the last few lyrics; “if I was your boyfriend, never let you go. Keep you in arm girl, you’d never be alone. If I was your boyfriend, I can be a gentleman, anything you want… If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go. I’d never let you go. So give me a chance, 'cause you're all I need girl. Spend a week with your boy I'll be calling you my girlfriend. If I was your man, I'd never leave you girl… I just want to love you, and treat you right.”
When the song comes to a complete end, the sound of the guy's laughter fills the room. Jungkook stays on his knees, making a pouty face. 
“Still mad?”
You give him a cold shoulder. “Dunno.”
Jungkook laughs, catching himself as he begins to lean in. Yuna awkwardly clears her throat. You shoot her a glare and she sticks her tongue out at you two.
“Jungkook…” she warns. “You’re not allowed to have ___!” 
He snickers at her. “Fine with me! I don’t want her.”
Yuna waves her finger at Jungkook, lowering her gaze at him. She isn’t convinced with his words. “Listen you motherfucker… You touch her and I’ll ruin your life.” 
Jungkook laughs coyly before turning to you. He wrinkles his nose and shrugs, “guess this is the beginning of my end.”
“Guess it is,” you purse your lips. “Too bad.”
“Too bad?” Jungkook scoffs, “if you’re my end; then so be it. Nothing more beautiful than you.”
You make a sour face at him before throwing the karaoke book his way. He dodges it and sticks his middle finger out at you. Then, he returns to his boys and joins them in song. From the corner of your eye, you see Yuna giving you a look. She mouths out, “anything to confess?”
You shake your head and roll your eyes at her.
Confess? What is there to confess? Nothing. 
Absolutely nothing. 
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By the grace of God, Taehyung was able to get Yuna to stop drinking. However, by the time Taehyung suggested to do so… She was no longer able to walk on her own. The karaoke session ends and everyone is either tipsy or helping Taehyung take care of Yuna. 
“Should I walk you home?”
You sit up and take your phone out. Swiping it open, you don’t bother to look at him when you answer. “I can Uber.”
Jungkook then snatches your phone and holds it above his head. There’s a lazy smirk on his face you want to slap off. “You’re not Ubering home alone and tipsy.”
“Walking home with you isn’t any better.”
In all honesty, Jungkook is tipsy too. He chugged a few beers last minute and took Yuna’s remaining shots. Yet, it’s clear that he’s sober enough to take care of himself. One thing you’ve only recently started to notice about Jungkook is that he’s a grumpy, sad, and needy drunk. Maybe the grumpy part is more prominent in the tipsy portion.
He offers a sarcastic laugh before frowning. “Shut the fuck up and get your shit. Let’s go. I’m tired.”
“Then go home—”
“Don’t be difficult,” he begs. “Just let me do this.”
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The walk home is rather quiet. 
Aside from Jungkook’s lame attempts to ask you about your classes and work schedule, there’s not much to talk about. You answer him politely, feeling a little relieved that his little attitude is melting away. Slowly but surely, he was sobering up. 
To keep the conversation going, you ask him about the boys and what it’s like now that he moved out with Taehyung and Jimin. He answers truthfully, stating that the living situation is neater than he expected and that he misses the dynamic with everyone around during late nights. Sure the two boys kept him company and the aspect of privacy was nice, but he can’t help but miss the chaos. 
As he speaks and as you walk side by side with him—it still feels weird. It’s that same weird feeling you felt in the karaoke room. 
Your fingertips have brushed against each other for the nth time tonight. Was it the drinks you downed or are you actually feeling a little annoyed he didn’t even try to hold your hand tonight? And how did we get here? 
It’s your front door. 
… Is this it? Is it really just goodnight and go?
“Do you think Taehyung is secretly in love with Yuna?” Jungkook blurts with a cheeky grin on his face. “He’s all she talks about and vice versa. She always comes over and they just sit and talk and laugh like they’re the only two people in the world.”
You pause and think about it. “They’ve always been close.”
“Not like this,” he advocates. “They’re… Happier?”
“She’s still hung up on that guy that ghosted her… Maybe good company is just good company, you know? It doesn’t always have to mean or lead to a new love interest.” 
Jungkook tilts his head. “Is that how you feel too?”
“What do you mean?”
He bites his tongue. “Never mind.”
“... Okay?” you respond awkwardly. You turn away and dig through your bag for your key. “Thanks for walking me home, I guess? Goodnight.”
Jungkook sighs loudly. “Can you at least look at me and pretend like you care if I get home safe or not?”
“But I’d be lying!” you laugh, finally finding your keys. You stick it in and turn the nob. Suddenly, you feel his hand grab your wrist. With one tug, your body turns to face him. He smiles sweetly as you frown at him. 
“Dream of me,” he teases, taking a step closer to you. Closing in the space between, he dips his head low and lowers his gaze to your lips. 
“That’s just mean,” you whine. “Why would you want me to have nightmares?”
He glares at you. “Ha. Ha. Not funny.”
“It was pretty funny.”
Jungkook huffs, “no, it hurt my feelings actually.”
“Not my problem,” you snark back.
“You’re always my problem.”
“You’re annoying as fuck—”
“Oh my god,” Jungkook stresses. “Just let me kiss you goodnight, woman!”
Before you can answer, he crashes his lips against yours and kisses you. He does it deeply like he’s been waiting to kiss you all night. When you pull away for a breath, he continues to give you little kisses. You laugh and playfully push his face away from yours. 
He pouts and demands, “kiss me lots, ___.”
You can’t even deny him. In this very moment, he is the most precious thing in the world. You let him kiss you once more before squishing his cheeks together. You give him a peck before saying goodnight for the last time. 
“Get home safe, pookie.”
“Arghh,” Jungkook curls his hand into a fist and hits the left side of his chest. “I knew you’d care.”
He wishes to never forget the way his heart flutter at this very moment… And as much as you hate to admit it—your heart flutters too.
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goldustwomun · 18 days
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pacifier (s.b.)
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pairing: sirius black x younger potter! reader
summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. plus, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?
warnings: allusions to sex (minors dni!!!), swearing, cocky sirius and like kind of an annoying younger sister reader (but also that's literally me lol), bad transitions between light hearted banter and angst but i'm trying my best RIP, i imagine sirius to be mid-20s and reader only 3/4 years younger (but everyone is OF AGE), mommy issues if you squint
wc: 5.4k+
note: soooo i'm back :D again :D i'm almost done with second year and actually somewhat ahead with all my papers (with very minimal finals; def recommend being a history major x) and i've just been missing the community so enjoy this! i had this first chapter posted a while back (like maybe a year) but it was actually ass so i've redone it a little :)))) as always, reblogs and comments are MUCH appreciated and i can't wait to interact w/ y'all over this because i have been DAYDREAMING about brother's bf sirius :')
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“What do you mean he’s working at the shop as well?!” you screeched, chasing your Mother around the kitchen, feeling a lot like the pesky youngest child you were. 
“He needs some help so we offered to give him a job. Honestly sweetheart, aren’t you too old for this childish feud?”
“Too old? Shouldn’t you be saying that to him? He’s like– thirty or something, and still continues to be the bane of my existence. Fucking Bla–”
Your Mother whirled on you abruptly, brandishing the wooden spoon she was about to stir the boiling pot with right in your face. “Language, missy! I would tell him the same thing, but unluckily for you, you’re my daughter and currently living under my roof, so you get to hear it first.” She gave you a saccharine sweet smile, the kind that had you biting back the urge to stomp your feet and pout at her until she gave in. Unfortunately for you, that hadn’t worked since you were about six years old. 
“--now, he’s been gone for such a long time, and we’re all very excited to see him, so don’t ruin this reunion with any more of your tantrums.”
You opened your mouth, intent on not letting the argument die there, but your Father bounded into the kitchen at the same moment, ruffling up your hair with a “Hey there, kiddo,” before promptly moving on to snake his hands around your Mother’s waist. “Looking as beautiful as always, my dear,” he cooed into her ear. She let out an uncharacteristic giggle that had you bolting from the kitchen before you were scarred any further.
Your parents’ tooth-aching affections for each other were just that: sweet, but sickly all the same. Deep down, you knew you yearned for a romance like theirs, something genuine but passionate, able to withstand the test of time (and your ever-dwindling patience). James, your older brother, had found it with Lily, their son Harry being a product of their young but no less intense love. 
And you loved that kid like he was your own. Would beg James to let you come over, play with the babbling toddler for a few hours, would even offer up your weekends, encouraging the young couple to “go out, live a little!”. But they were about as infatuated with their own child as you were, and had a never-ending supply of friends who were equally as eager to help out.
Speaking of, one of those eager friends was currently pounding his stupid fist against your stupid front door, and you were already riled up from the news that you couldn’t take seeing his face physically in front of you, as well. 
You shoved past James, knocking him back a step as his hand reached for the door to let his best mate in. You caught a glimpse of him on the doorstep, the first in almost two years– hair unruly like he’d just rolled out of bed, long, black strands; newly tanned skin blushing under the heat of the sun; those thick, brooding eyebrows that raised up in your direction – eughh. 
“What’s got your knickers in a bunch?” James called at your retreating figure, shouting loud enough to be heard over your heavy footsteps despite the carpeted floor. 
“Ask your best mate over there!” you answered back with a bite, slamming your room door shut.
“Fuck,” he sighed, defeated, yanking his confused friend in and a chucking a thumb towards the stairs. “How’ve you managed to piss her off before you even got here?” he asked incredulously. “Peace– we had peace in this house for the past two years since you’ve been off travelling, and now look–! It’s a bloody riot!”
“Oi– I’ve done nothing,” he moaned indignantly, hanging his coat and scarf on the gold-crested hooks by the door. “--I think,” he added for good measure after a beat.
He never understood why the two of you struggled to get along. You’d grown up together, spent every waking moment in each other’s presence when he was at the Potter residence (which happened to be just about always given his own family situation). In theory, he should be like some sort of older brother figure– someone to loan out advice and shoulders to cry on and all that jazz.
But no. Something about you and your irritatingly know-it-all personality, or shrill voice when indignant (which was rather often around him), or your need to always be right – something about you made it so he just had to tease you endlessly until you were yelling, voice all pitchy, nostrils flared, breath heavy and face blotchy. When things would begin to die down, he’d find something else to point out, argue back, hit the nail on your specific head– something to really push you that little bit over the edge. 
It was a little too fun to not try to get a rise out of you every time you were together. And as much as Sirius was aware that the jabs each of you threw had gotten a little more out of hand and a little less appropriate for your relationship– he just couldn’t stop. 
The rest of the Potter family didn’t share your sentiments about Sirius, and rather adored him immeasurably. Had since he’d taken to hiding out in their house after a particularly brutal fight at home when he was only eleven. Heck, he’d even attended every Potter-family gathering, dinner, birthday, you name it, since then. It was why he came over every Sunday for a roast, pudding and some chat – he could never put into words what your family had done for him, the safety, security, home, even, they'd given him when he’d been lost and entirely clueless of what a real family looked like.
So he made the thirty-minute drive, every Sunday, much to your irritation. He plastered on the biggest smile for your Mum, complimenting every minute detail of the meal she cooked for the family, drank a glass of whiskey and smoked a cigar with your Dad; he was even Harry’s favourite, always humming quiet melodies into the youngest Potter’s ear.
With him travelling the world for the past almost-two-years, he’d missed out on the family time he usually looked forward to every weekend. Mondays seemed a lot less dreadful after having a belly-full of Mrs Potter’s food. Still, he’d sent postcards and printed pictures of everywhere he went, the sights he’d seen, people he’d met. It wasn’t the same, not without the lot of you to pester him (maybe you especially) but he’d needed some time to find himself.
He still wasn’t sure if he’d found what he was looking for, but the money had to have run out eventually so he was back home, ready to work and settle down in his life for once after graduating Hogwarts. 
Sirius followed James into the living room where he found Lily, sipping on a glass of red, sitting by the empty fireplace. Instead, a window had been cracked in to let the temperate wind in.
She perked up as they entered, waving with that soul-wrenching smile of hers that could persuade even the most strong-willed of men into submission. 
“Pads, you’re back!” she called from her seat. "And you've grown a moustache-- interesting choice of facial hair." Sirius, however, raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, ignoring her greeting-slash-judgement as he peered into the empty crib by her side, even going as far as to search under it as if the toddler might have escaped.
“Harry’s gone to bed in the guest room. There was a bit of a shouting match before you arrived,” James explained, sinking into the space beside his wife and pulling her into his side. “Actually, now that I think about it, there was a lot of shouting after you arrived as well!” 
Lily snorted, snuggling into her husband without hesitation, and Sirius couldn’t help but avert his eyes, feeling entirely like he was imposing on an intimate moment as the two of them whispered in the other’s ear.
“Well, don’t mind me. Sitting here, all by my lonesome, no company or polite chatter to partake in, not even my dashing god son to entertain me” he sighed, dramatically, to no one in particular. James rolled his eyes at his best friend’s antics, chucking a frilly throw-pillow at his face (that’s what they’re for, right?) which he just as easily caught. 
“Har-Har! Ever the clown, Paddy,” James mocked, flipping him off just in time for his Mum to walk in and see.
“James! Don’t aim such crude displays at my son,” she scolded, wrapping her wrinkled arms around Sirius’ shoulders from behind his chair. She leaned down, kissing the top of his head affectionately. Sirius only whimpered in agreement, leaning into her motherly touch and whining on and on about how James was being a right bully. 
“My sweet child, I’ve missed you!” She beamed down at him, and that longing Sirius sometimes felt for his own Mother’s approval, her devotion or fondness, it lessened. 
“But you didn’t– He was just!-- You missed– arghh!” James groaned defeatedly, head flailed back to rest against the sofa, receiving no sympathies from his giggling wife and glaring Mother. “I’m starting to understand why she hates you.”
Sirius’ eyes flashed at that– did you really hate him? Had it gotten to that point?
At the mention of your name but current absence, Mrs Potter ordered, “Go call your sister for dinner, I’ve set the table.” 
He began to protest, failing to come up with a half-decent reason why he can’t walk up the two flights of stairs and pull your petulant frame from your bed– but Sirius interrupted in time, before James could make any more of a fool himself in front of his own Mother. “I’ll go get her. Got to figure out what I did this time,” he offered coolly. 
Euphemia, that is, Mrs Potter, had a strict no-apparting rule in her house, had lost too many expensive vases from James and Sirius’ apparition-sprees the second they’d turned seventeen. You already had your licence, having been of legal age for some time, and had, since graduating (top of the class, as you tended to point out, much to your Ravenclaw friends’ dismay) from Hogwarts, found a job at a school in the muggle world, teaching children English Literature in preparation of some exam. O Levels, you’d called them. 
Sirius thought it to be some sort of torture device - these O Levels – but you’d smacked him across the head in admonishment with the book in your hand – you were always carrying one, though he designated them to be a weapon, at least when in your possession – before he could say much else. Having a family-run bookshop made it so that the books, or the weapons, really, were in endless supply for you, much to Sirius’ chagrin.
Your love for reading had come from him, your Father, from when he’d stay up till the late hours of the night, hushed whispers under your bed sheet so your Mother wouldn’t hear, as he read you the Classics in animated voices that had you completely enchanted. He made sparks fly from the tip of his wand, bright colours that your little eyes couldn’t quite get enough of.
You loved being a wizard, were eternally grateful for the world you lived in and the undeniable awe of it all. But words, books, literature – they were enough magic for you, took you to places you could only ever dream to visit, and had you feeling such all-consuming emotions that sometimes, you wondered if you’d ever make it to the end of the page, or chapter, or book. 
“Oi– your Mum’s put out dinner, she’s calling you downstairs,” he called through the thick wood of your door. 
Sirius didn’t know why he was nervous. It was you, the little girl he’d watched grow up and had grown up with. But if the short glance he’d gotten of your stomping person as you huffed up the stairs was any indicated, you were by no means little anymore. 
Funny what a few years can do to a person, huh. 
He nudged it open when you didn’t respond, only to find you slumped across your bed, glaring, silently, at the ceiling and the pale-orange light emanating from the lamp on your bedside table.
You certainly looked different– older, possibly? He couldn’t quite place what had changed, only that he knew something had. In the way you dressed, styled your hair, held yourself. Even the look of your room– no longer plastered in butterflies and pink roses, but instead painted a burnt umber and with tapestries and muggle band posters hanging across every wall. A stack of vinyls were shoved into one side of your room, along with piles and piles of books, some old and missing a few pages, while others were untouched. 
You heard the door click open, sitting up on your elbows to see a smirking Sirius, oozing an annoying amount of confidence, and leaning against your doorframe. 
Something in your chest stumbled almost immediately. He looked the same, behaved the same as well. Still the Sirius that had left to see the world, leaving the rest of you behind. Though, he might’ve managed to actually tan, now that you really looked at him, imagining the broad planes of his shoulders, hidden by a thin linen button up, were more sun-kissed than milky-pale now. 
Except you refused to even entertain the thought. You were not thinking of him or his skin or his bare chest or--
“What’s with the face?” you asked, already knowing you’ll regret the answer.
“Was that meant to be a greeting?” His eyebrow raised in amusement.
“Hi Sirius-- what’s with the face?” you answered, again, between clenched teeth. 
“Nice pair of panties you got on there, bright pink, are they?” he nodded at your thighs, only just clocking that maybe having your legs spread so far apart when you’re wearing a skirt wasn’t the best idea.
Your thighs snapped shut just as Sirius was snickering behind his fist. “So, dinner?” he asked again, stepping into your room and letting the door shut behind him.
“Go to hell.”
“See, that sounds a little inconvenient, and a lot hot– humidity isn’t great for the hair, or skin. Anyway, I’ve just been around the world and found no place called Hell so not sure what to say, little Potter.” You hadn’t missed his sarcastic rambles, even though you were already struggling to hide the smile taking over your face as you looked anywhere but at him. “I tried, I really did, just for you.”
Your stomach dipped at that, a wave pulling you under-- for you. 
“Buuuut– you know what I absolutely adore? Your mother’s cooking, and I haven’t had it in a while, so up ya’ get,” he insisted, tugging you up by your forearms until you were pressed against his front, not a sliver of space between the two of you. 
Your breath caught in your throat. You could feel him everywhere. Hot skin against your bare arms, the itchy wool of his jumper, if you concentrated a little more, the hard expanse of his chest against yours. He must have felt it too because he released you like you were fire and he a mere mortal, brows pinching in confusion and something else, looking at you like you were a question he couldn’t quite find the answer to. 
It was entirely foreign, the heat gathering in the pit of your stomach– it surely hadn’t been there before he’d left. You looked, or gawked, more like, at the very man you detested with every ounce of your being, but also the very man you were about to spend almost every hour of every day, for the rest of the Summer, with.
“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, as if realising the same thing as you now that you were stood in front of him. Suddenly, he understood what the whole shouting match must have been about, and up until a few moments ago, he might have disagreed with you entirely.
Now, though? He wasn’t sure what he felt.
“Ditto,” you breathed back. You pushed past him after staring for a second too long, hurrying on socked feet to the dining room downstairs, and not bothering to check if he was following. 
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The quiet jingle of the bell tickled your ears as you opened the door to the bookshop, dust immediately invading your senses as you fought back a harsh cough. Your Dad pushed in front of you, forcing the door to stay open by propping a stack of intimidatingly large books in front of it. You laughed silently to yourself, noting how they were all Dickens (he hated Dickens, said his novels were disturbingly boring and unnecessarily detailed). 
You could only agree, never having had the courage to pick up any of those enormous beasts yourself. 
“So, you can dust a little, and sweep the floor, before we open. Count the money in the till, as well, that’s very important,” he noted off, and you suddenly wish you had a pen and a pad of paper to write it all down. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been helping out at the shop since when you were younger, but this was the first time you’d been granted the responsibility of having it all to yourself (minus the inconvenience that was Sirius Black). 
You were an adult now (barely, but that was a technicality)– loved to point it out any chance you got, and it meant that your Dad trusted you enough to not hover over your shoulder every time you took a shift. He was working fewer hours, though now, none, as he wanted to finish the novel he’d been writing for the past decade after melodramatically announcing at the dinner table that “It’s time!” 
You weren’t sure what that exactly meant, but you weren’t about to argue with the man paying you an overly generous ten pounds an hour. 
You didn’t need the money for yourself, what with still living at your parent’s house, but you wanted to contribute to the house and expenses and what no, even if it was a minuscule sum. 
“Another thing,” he added, stopping, rather abruptly, in front of you, voice worryingly grave as he placed his large palms over either of your shoulders. “Please,” he begged, brows dipping, “don’t fight with Sirius in front of the customers.”
“I haven’t even done anything and you’re already after me,” you objected, pulling back from his usually comforting hold and pulling the broom out from behind the counter. His hands fell defeatedly against his sides as he sighed, standing in your way before you could mope yourself into a tizzy before the work day had even started. 
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he ensured, pulling you in for a tight embrace. “You know you’re my number one, sweetheart. Just don’t like seeing you so upset.”
James always teased you for being your Father’s favourite, and you’d never argue, relishing in his pointed fingers and sneering words, because it was true– there was something between you and your Father, an understanding that no one else had clued in on. He eased your worries like no one else could, smoothed irked creases across your face, replacing them with belly-hurting laughter lines and a grin so wide, you were worried it would fall off your face.
Anyway, James was the same with your Mum. You found her difficult to communicate with, what with her being as hot-heated as you were, so as much as you and your Dad got along, you butted heads with your Mum just as much. “It’s ‘cause you two are so similar, like twins, I tell you!” But it did little to calm your nerves around her, or stoke the flames of anger you so often felt. 
You were about to respond, ready to tell your Dad just how much you loved him, when someone crashed through the door, slamming into the counter you were standing behind. You turned, eyes connecting with your (late) colleague. He looked utterly windswept, as if he’d run – or been chased – the whole way there. 
“You okay, son?” your Dad asked, worry shifting from you to the panting, bent-over Sirius. 
“Me? Oh– peachy, just– peachy,” he answered between heavy breaths, waving off his doting hands. “Sorry I’m late, got a little carried away with something and lost track of time.”
You were conscious of how your Dad didn’t offer Sirius the same advice, to not pick a fight or argue or whatever it was the two of you did, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how he had everyone charmed. So you busied yourself behind the till, doing as you were instructed and counting the money, writing down the number of each of the bills on a notepad you pulled from the drawer at your waist. 
Your Dad left soon after, turning the closed sign out front to open as he wished you, and Sirius, good luck. 
“Guess it’s just the two of us, little Potter,” Sirius pointed out, already sounding bored as he fell into a stool at your side. He leaned his head against his arm, stretching it from side to side as he groaned at his tense muscles.
You didn’t mean to stare, swore it wasn’t something you’d let become a habit, but your gaze immediately travelled to the exposed skin of his neck, zeroing in on the trail of newly-formed purple bruises  down the side. You snorted, shaking your head at him, slamming the money compartment shut a little too aggressively so that it caught Sirius’ attention. He recognised your expression to be something close to amusement, jabbing you in your side until you were scowling and slapping his fingers away.
“What’s wrong with you– you’re acting like a fucking child,” you admonished, moving out of reach and resting a hand on your hip. 
“Why’d you make that face?” he asked instead of answering your question, nodding at you like it was you who had started it.
“It’s nothing,” you went with, hearing your Father’s words echoing in your mind from just moments ago. You needed to diffuse the situation before you really got mad, because past that point, you weren’t responsible for what you said– or did. 
So you ventured into the aisles of books, a curious Sirius on your heels, following you like a lost, yapping puppy. “If it’s nothing then why are you running away?” he pushed back.
You ignored him pointedly, stopping to stack a few books and dust along the shelves. No one had come in yet, still too early in the morning for any tourists to stumble upon your admittedly quaint but bursting shop. 
The sunlight barely filtered past the dense collection of books and mahogany shelves that lined the walls, but the windows stretched to the tall ceilings, and if you went up the spiralling staircase at the centre of the store, you’d find yourself in a cosy loft space, bathed in gold and stuffed with arm chairs and sofas for people to sit and read in. 
It was your favourite part of the store, and you were seriously debating hiding up there on your first day, just to get away from the walking-plague that followed you. 
“Come on– tell me,” he whined, standing too close for your liking. You side-stepped away, brushing a cloth against the worn covers of the Mystery section. He followed suit, returning to his previous position, and this time, you had no way out with the wall of books you’d met. 
You turned, facing him and finally acknowledged his presence. “You lied,” you stated matter-of-factly, loving that you actually had the upper-hand with him. As much as you prided yourself with being quick-witted, Sirius always seemed to find a way to stay on-top.
“Gonna have to give me something more than that, darling. Lied about what?” he countered, raising an eyebrow at you. 
It took everything in you to ignore the pet name, something more endearing hidden under it that you had never noticed before, and those pesky butterflies returned to bug about in your gut. 
Fucking moths, you groaned internally. 
“You said you were busy and lost track of time. But those bites across your neck say otherwise,” you stared pointedly at the affected area now, though it was covered by his hair in this position. His hand flew to his neck, as if only just realising they were on display.
“That’s none of your business Potter,” he countered, now irritated and still trying to hide the hickies on his neck with only his palm. 
“It actually is my business when you’re both late to your job and lying to my Father,” you threw back, shoving forward and relishing in his slight stumble back– as if he hadn’t yet noticed the two of you were so so close. 
“You can’t–” his eyes were wide, worried, as he grabbed your elbow, forcing you to meet his gaze, “You can’t tell him. He’ll be so disappointed and I can’t–”
Now it was your turn to frown over the devastation so wrought over his face. And if you two were anyone else, you might’ve let it go. Might’ve– 
“Well tough shit, Black. You’re an adult, now. This is the real world we’re talking about. Not whatever fantasy you’ve been away in for the past two years. And here, in the real world–” you gestured around yourself, “--actions have consequences. You slutting it up on the night before your first day at your new job isn’t much of an excuse, now is it?”
And really, you deserved it, now that you thought back. His anger was reasonable and your need to poke straight through his ribcage, wrap your fist around his heart and squeeze tight, was not. 
“Oh, fuck you, Potter!” he bit out. “You’re accusing me of not acting like an adult when you literally still live at home! Not to mention you can’t have a decent conversation with anyone without throwing the most childish temper tantrum known to man. I might be slutting it up, as you’ve put it, but at least I’m getting some,” he was breathing hard now, and the more he spoke the more the anger burned away, but his words wouldn’t stop. In fact, you think you could see him cringe, in pain or guilt or some nervous tick, as he delivered the final blow. 
“Maybe if you weren’t so miserable to be around all the time, someone might actually give it to you too.”
It didn’t take long for you to react. Nor did it take long for your hand to fly up and connect with his cheek, hard and final. He wasn’t even surprised, had seen it coming a mile way, maybe even from his first “fuck you”. Because he knew he deserved it and he remembered now why he had left two years ago. Sure, it wasn’t all you. There’d been others who had irked him to the point of wanting a fresh start. And even then, it wasn’t that you were one of those people– you just would get him so riled up, to the point where he could no longer trust the words coming out of his mouth. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispered then, fighting the urge to look away from your glassy stare. “I’m sorry, Potter. You know I don’t mean it.”
And deep down inside, you did know. You knew you both brought out the worst in each other. Only, you could never figure out why that was. Why you wanted to hurl insults and slap him silly for every comment or look or stupid way he’d string together the most perfect sentence and his irritating eyes and mouth and–
“Excuse me? Is anyone here?” 
You inhaled, all sudden, as if only just realising what you had done (or what you had thought). You brushed past him without a word, needing, more than ever, to put some space between the two of you. If not for your anger then for whatever pesky emotion was seeping through your cracks.
You were (reluctantly) pulled from wherever your thoughts had been racing to as you called into the store, “Just one moment!”
You didn’t see it, not then – too focused on keeping one foot in front of the other as you made your way back, escaping to the front of the shop, faking a polite smile as you greeted the awaiting customer– but Sirius collapsed, defeated, into the wall the moment you walked away. 
Something was telling him that if he hadn’t just torn your heart to shreds with a string of insults then he might have done it some other way– some other way that might have left him in trouble with James, Lily and your parents for an entirely different set of reasons. 
‘Cause Jesus Christ– he wanted to be the one to give you what you needed. Or rather, he needed to, desperately. And two years away hadn’t altered the line between the two of you from enemies to something more. 
And Sirius truly debated if this was the moment for him to get back onto a train to anywhere you were not. It didn’t matter if he had no money or nowhere to be, but if it meant he could avoid killing you with words or kissing your face off– he couldn’t quite see a way out of his predicament. 
James would kill him. As would your parents. And Lily– God, you prayed Lily never found out. She’d serve his head up on a platter and laugh while she did it. She was awfully protective of you, always on your side when you bickered with him. If anything, you loved her even more for it, having always noticed how you frowned a little deeper, detached a little more from yourself, whenever your parents favoured him in an argument.
“Sirius!” you shouted again, no longer faking your emotions but rather genuinely just exasperated by him once more. 
“I’m coming! I’m coming!” He managed to not get lost in the labyrinth of books, and found you by the travel section, chatting good-naturedly with a blonde in a tight dress.
“How can I help, doll?” he asked the blonde in question. His one tactic for almost every conundrum he’d ended up in was avoidance. And bloody hell was he good at it. 
He smiled at her, the customer, doing little to hide his admiration for the legs she had on display. She flushed a pretty pink, averting her gaze, lip between her teeth. Bingo! 
“Christ, you’re disgusting,” you muttered, mouth pouting and quiet enough that only he could hear.
“Only for you, sweetheart, only for you,” he bit back, not wanting the currently oblivious customer clue in on their conversation. “So, how can I help?”
“She needs that book–” you pointed to the top shelf, well out of reach. “--the green spine that says Amsterdam, but I can’t reach it and the step ladder is too heavy.”
“Alas! Only ever needed for my body, it seems,” he moaned with an irritating amount of flourish. 
“Whatever it takes to get the book down– do what you must, Black.” You patted his chest reassuringly, taking your spot, once again, behind the cash register.  
“So– planning a trip are you?” Sirius asked in between excessive displays of strength as he hauled the bulky ladder with a single hand. You glared at the girl as she swooned at him, wanting, rather unreasonably, for her to combust right where she stood.
But that was a ridiculous thought to begin with. You could barely stand to be even within a metre’s distance of the guy, let alone on the receiving end of his affections. You were tired, emotional and dehydrated. Must be. Though a glance at the clock had you realising it had barely been an hour since your day had started. 
So, maybe just emotional and dehydrated. 
“I’m going to get a coffee from across the street,” you announced, slugging your tote bag onto your shoulder as you walked past the preoccupied pair. Not waiting for a response, you stepped out into the early morning sun, frowning, for once, at the glare in your eyes and not the irritant you’d left behind. 
It was easier to refer to him as something pesky, infectious, fungus-like even, rather than the only person who knew how to break your heart (and despite your somewhat impenetrable facade, you let him do just that every time).
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aka-indulgence · 4 months
Text
Got a oneshot! Have a fic where Sans rejects your romantic pursuits with a happy twist ;)
CW: Flashback section containing Sans’ ex, where he wasn’t having a good time
(Sans & Gender Neutral Reader)
Sans doesn’t know what he thinks about the whole romance thing after a disastrous start. What happens when a precious friend confesses?
——————
It wasn’t entirely unexpected.
Sans didn’t think much of it when you came that day. Sans would often usually invite you over anyway, though today you were first to ask him if you could visit. Which was fine- he’s never as comfortable with anyone else as much as he was comfortable with you. (Maybe Papyrus, but even then there were things Sans wouldn’t tell his brother because he didn’t want to burden him with problems that Sans would rather burden himself with.)
You were laughing. He always loved it when you laughed.
“so i told him: paper-thin skin? buddy. pal. i ain’t got skin.”
You were in an uproar, slapping your knee. “Oh my god! I’d give the world to see the look on his face,”
“oh yeah. definitely unforgettable. man got so red faced he looked like he was gonna burst. he then stomped out like an angry toddler.”
You were giggling, before the both of you fell into a silence. That was a normal part of conversations, Sans was used to it. Especially with you, the silence was never unwelcome. But this time… something felt different. The air has shifted. Your carefree expression had changed into something more contemplative. He wasn’t sure what it was, then. Or maybe, he just didn’t want to read too deep into it.
You spoke up.
“... Hey Sans? Can I tell you something?”
Why was he nervous?
“... yeah?”
“It’s… um. Give me a second…” you laughed nervously. “Haha, sorry, I feel a little sick.”
Sans’ brows furrowed. “what’s up? you ok..?”
You huffed. “Ok. Yeah. Sorry for ruining the moment? But uh… it’s been on my mind for a while, and I have to tell you. I hope you’re ok with me saying this but. I like you, Sans. Kind of… a lot?”
… Ringing. Sans hears ringing. It feels like something in his soul crashed.
“... Sans?”
Sans wasn’t there. His mind was somewhere else.
“i just… i just don’t know if i like you in that way…”
Her face broke into despair. She wouldn’t look his way. She didn’t even say a word to him.
“w… wait. why are you… where are you going?”
“I can’t be here.”
It was years ago. Monsters had lived on the surface for about a year. She was one of Papyrus’ friends, and their first meeting had been wonderful. It still leaves an ache in his chest when he thinks about it now, how hopeful he was when he met her. She was fun, always got Sans involved in social events, always found her way towards him when he was sitting on the sidelines while Papyrus took the stage.
“hey i wouldn’t recommend the punch.”
“Why not?”
“y’see, i like funny things. and that thing… it ain’t got a punchline.”
“... Are you seriously punning?”
“i think i’m being funny.”
“Hah, that’s so stupid,”
She was laughing. But when Sans thinks about it now, maybe it was a pitying one. Sans wasn’t one to judge, puns didn’t win everyone over.
She quickly became a regular in his life, the first human friend he’s made since the surface, one that seemed more interested in him than his brother. She would even pout and joke when Sans didn’t give her enough attention which was cute, at the time. It was easy introducing her to his friends, with how often she tagged along with him.
She would put her arm over his shoulders, hug him, get so close to kissing but miss… Sans never initiated, but only because he wasn’t much of a physical person to begin with. It was nice to have someone so affectionate with him.
He really liked having her in his life.
And then… came that fateful day.
“I was going to wait for you. But you never asked me out.”
“what do you mean…?”
“I know you’re smart, Sans. I’ve been obvious. I just don’t know if you even like me.”
He didn’t know where this had come from. He was suddenly put on the spot, struggling to give her an answer, an answer that he knew she wanted. But Sans was lost.
“i just… i just don’t know if i like you in that way…”
“...”
She was stoic. She was upset with him, she left him alone in his room after he brought out the games he was hoping to play together. Had he made a mistake…? Was he really that dense? Was he just terrible with commitment?
She… she deserved better.
So he decided to fix it. At least, he thought he was fixing it. Though it turned to be a decision Sans would regret soon after.
He showed up at her door the next night. She hadn’t responded to his texts, his calls. Not even Papyrus’. He felt guilty, like he ruined something perfectly good.
i can’t lose her.
Sans was starting to panic if she maybe had left- then the door opened. Sans soul shook when he saw how her face fell when she saw his face. She was going to retreat back into her room.
“w-wait! please listen to me,” His hand was at the door. “i… i made a mistake. you’re important to me, ok? and i think i want… to be with you.”
His soul sung when she finally looked him in the eyes. There were tears in hers, but she was smiling, and he was happy to have her hugging him again. The tension snapping was a relief. That he saved himself. But even then he wondered… why did it taste bitter to say those last few words?
It… didn’t last long. More and more of Sans’ time was taken up by her, which… should be a good thing. Couples should spend lots of time together, right? But he didn’t have time for his friends anymore. Everytime she went out, he needed to come with.
“Sans, you smell like ketchup.”
“oh… yeah, i put too much on my hotdog.”
“Come on, you need to eat something better. People keep telling me you smell like grease.”
“... really?”
“Yeah. Here, I got you new clothes. Crisp!”
“oh… thanks.”
“Get ready, I’m planning to go at six.”
He was becoming active. He was going out every day, he wasn’t locking himself in his room.
It was for the better, he told himself. She brought out the life in him.
… Sans always thought he was intuitive. He was the best at reading people. He’s the judge. It came to him like breathing.
But apparently, he had been blinded. He had a hard time trusting himself. That maybe his gut feeling was wrong.
“SANS…”
Papyrus had found him alone during a party, having escaped to the bathroom. His sockets had bags under them. His face was dripping with water. He just… needed to rest. Without anyone else around.
“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”
“yeah… i am. just needed to freshen up is all.”
Papyrus looked so… sad. He hadn’t seen his brother frown so deeply, in a way that made Sans feel guilty.
“SANS. I KNOW YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO PROTECT ME FROM YOUR FEELINGS EVEN THOUGH I DON’T NEED YOU TO DO THAT BUT… YOU HAVEN’T LIED SINCE WE SURFACED, AND NOW IT’S BACK. AND I THINK… YOU MIGHT BE LYING TO YOURSELF AS WELL. BROTHER… WHAT’S THE MATTER?”
Sans was getting sloppy. He looked away from him, to the mirror- he couldn’t handle that sorrowful look on Papyrus’ face. All that did though, was force him to confront his own expression. His signature smile wasn’t even there. And Sans couldn’t muster the energy to bring it back.
“I DON’T WANT TO PRY, IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT… Could This Have Something To Do With Her?”
Sans should’ve said no. Denied it. Told Paps that everything was fine and he was just… just overwhelmed. But he didn’t.
“i… maybe. i…” He exhaled through his phalanges, staring at the bottom of the sink. “i don’t know if i love her, pap. at least… romantically. i’m… i’m trying paps, i’m trying, i should- she deserves to have someone love her. i want to love her.”
Papyrus finishes his thought for him.
“BUT YOU DON’T.”
“... no.”
Sans felt horrible. He felt like he was leading her on. But Sans really thought that he loved her. He did! He cared for her!
… But not in the way she wanted.
And Sans didn’t want to pretend anymore.
“What did it? Did… did you find another person??”
“no. it’s nothing like that.”
“Then what changed?!”
She was shouting. Sans didn’t like the shouting. She never took kindly to him giving anyone- anything else attention. Sans tried to fix it, at first. He thought he was the problem until he got the messages asking him where he was, why he was so absent.
“nothing has, it was just a lot of little things. i’m sorry. i don’t love you in that way.”
“... How could you say something so horrible!?”
It was a good thing they hadn’t moved in together. She had insisted on moving, and that was one thing Sans could put his foot down about. He has a couple of old shirts and pants at her place from the nights he’s stayed, but nothing he’ll miss much. Lots of them were clothes she approved. It smelled like perfume. Even when he thought he was in love with her he thought moving together then was too fast.
She blocked him. Cut him out. Told her friends how Sans didn’t try hard enough when she put in the effort. Sans was never a crier- but he was in tears, hiding in his room. He would talk about it with Papyrus, but right then, he didn’t want anyone to hear. He wanted to throw his phone, he wanted to scream at her. He loved her! Maybe- maybe he never wanted to date her, maybe, if they hadn’t they’d still be friends but she always just… took too much.
It was nice when Papyrus chose to cut her off, to show support for him. It was ironic, even though Sans was the one she always chased, she always seemed to be on good terms with Papyrus. Even would ask him to put in a word for her after their arguments.
Sans was fine now. No- more than fine. Sans was happy. His time with her being a mere bump during his time on the surface.
Then, not too long after, he met you.
He never realized what was missing until he met you. You gave him space, and you never asked him to change for you. You… you liked who he was, you liked Sans.
After her Sans was afraid to attach so fast but… he really, really wanted to keep you in his life. He might even like you, more than a friend would. But he wasn’t ready to start another storm in his life.
As he looked into your eyes, he felt his soul sink. He wasn’t ready for it to end.
“... i… i’m sorry,” Why was the air so hot? “i… i… hhh,”
“Huh?”
It was a little hard to breathe. Which should be impossible. He’s a skeleton… air… air literally moves through his ribcage. He isn’t… uh… what’s happening?
You were frowning. Oh no. Were you upset?
“S-Sans? Are you ok?”
Sans was gripping the couch too tightly, phalanges digging into the couch cushions, close to ripping them. Beads of sweat were rolling down his skull. He suddenly felt pathetic… panicking over you.
“Sans?”
His eyelights darted back to you, bringing him back to the present. You looked so confused… he felt so guilty.
no… i can’t do it again.
“i… sorry. i don’t… mean to panic in front of you but… are you upset?”
“About what? I’m… Sans, you’re not making a lot of sense.”
He presses a hand to his face, then takes a deep breath. His mind was in a frizzle and he had to explain to you now before he goes crazy.
“sorry, my mind is a mess right now. i… i don’t want to make you sad. but i don’t know if i’m ready for a relationship right now. and it isn’t you, it’s… it’s me. i don’t want to take away your hope or anything but… i don’t know if i’ll ever be ready for a romantic relationship.”
You blinked at him.
“Oh,”
 Sans tensed. Expecting you to explode, or cry, or yell at him, run out the house, hate him, oh god he ruined everything-
“Sans, that’s… ok?”
“...”
what?
“w… what do you mean?”
You’re confused. Sans was too. You shift your eyes left and right.
“I mean… that’s ok. I just didn’t want to make you upset is all, and w… why are you looking at me like that?”
Was he dreaming? His eyelight flashed yellow, as if he could find something. He scanned your face, your eyes, your nose- looking for a shudder, a twitch, even a pulse out of place.
Your face was neutral. Was it just hard to read you?
“you know, you can tell me if you’re upset.” Sans was telling the truth. “i can take it. i’d rather you tell me straight to my face if you are. i… i don’t want to lose you.”
You look startled at his sudden pleading, before giving him a pitiful smile. You put your hands on his shoulders.
“Sans? Can you look at me?” You asked in a soft voice.
It was difficult to look up. He knows you, you’re not the type to yell at him or to curse him for little things. He’d trust his judgment but he’s been mistaken before. Nonetheless, slowly, he tilts his skull up to you. When he does, he sees the determination in your eyes, a fierce yet gentle look.
“Sans. Believe me, I’m ok. You’re not going to lose me if you tell me no. Ok?”
“m… mhm,”
Your serious expression melts a little when you start snickering. “Sans, I… I didn’t even get to finish my sentence. I was about to tell you that I’ll understand if you don’t wanna do a whole romance with me, I’ll be fine! I think it’d be great, and I stand by saying I like you a lot. But, I also like where we are right now, and staying like this is pretty nice too. Just being with you is fun, and whether you’re my friend or my boyfriend, that’s not going to change. So… if you’re ok with staying friends after my confession, I think I’d like that.”
The static of panic started to fade away, and a feeling of calm washed over him. The relief was so potent that Sans could feel his sockets start to sting.
h… heh… i was worrying for nothing.
“yes. god, i’d like that too,” Sans wobbles, phalange wiping his socket. “i was scared that if… if i said no you’d hate me.”
“Pfft,” you snort, before you quickly covered your mouth. “Sorry that wasn’t, I’m not laughing at you. I just want to know what made you think that?”
You bump him gently on the shoulder with your fist. “I thought you knew me!”
Sans snickers, a bit more giggly than usual. “i do! i just have doubts when it comes to romance nowadays,” He sighed. “so… you’re really ok with being friends?”
“Yeah! What’s so bad about being friends anyway? As long as you’re not weirded out by me, if I still get to see you, I count that as a win.”
Sans thought the same thing. He smiled.
“yeah… you’re right.”
It was definitely a win having you in his life.
You go oof! When all of a sudden Sans tugs you into a hug, squeezing you tightly.
“i’m… i’m glad i met you.”
You take him in for a moment, before wrapping your arms around him. You squeeze him back.
“Me too.”
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