#i might still be very sexy but if its in a trans man way that's fine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cryptidsandcatacombs · 3 years

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listen sleep is irrelevant when there are vampires around a corporeal form what is that my needs of the flesh lol what are those

Ship: Noe Archiviste/S/I Rating: very adult anyone under the age of 18 skidaddle no srsly it's all nsfw smut from here no minors are allowed to read. All nsfw under the cut srsly do not read if you're a minor

Summary: Listen I'm not saying I'm horny for Noe Archiviste and I decided to make a self insert fic powered by that horny and make it everyone's problem BUT IDK you guys can decide for yourself whether i'm lying or not yall graduated high school, so yall have an adult level of reading comprehension. You guys got this. I'm rooting for you and so are my 10000 horny thoughts. This fic is brought to you by the sound of your past mistake chasing you. Remember. Ever day is leg day when you're running from your problems.

Also very highly self indulgent. Don't read if you don't like self inserts who are incredibly horny for certain people....or am I? Who knows.

Note: my s/i is a trans guy with all the feminine parts still attached. just needed to clear that up Copper. That's all Noe could smell. Being this close to Oz had an effect on him. One that drew him into a haze of nearly drug induced ambrosia. Gods how it made him dizzy in the most pleasant ways.

Oz unbuttoned the top of his shirt and gave him a slight smile. "Well, what you staring at," Oz said in a flirty tone.

Noe gulped going between Oz's purple eyes, chest and finally his neck. Fuck he was avoiding the neck. He felt like a Victorian virgin whose never seen a bit of skin before. Noe just felt Oz was so...exposed. It drove him crazy.

"Listen," Oz said interrupting Noe's haze, "I know what you're thinking. Well, what you waiting for. It's not like I'm saying no."

Noe was taken aback. Was Oz offering himself to him. No, it can't be. It can't be that easy. Who would offer themselves to a vampire?

"Oh or is the big bad vampire scared? I promise Noe, I've been wanting this for so long," Oz said through labored breath. Oz pulled down his shirt exposing his chest. "Please Noe, will you deny what we both clearly have been longing for. Partake onto me my love."

Noe's body moved closer to Oz than he already was. His lips grazed close to Oz's pulse. He can practically feel it throbbing with excitement.

Oz craned his neck to help Noe find a spot. Noe grazed his teeth experimentally to find the one spot that made Oz moan.

"There... no not there....wait where....," Noe thought to himself as he prodded around Oz's neck.

Suddenly, he heard that moan he had been looking for. Perfect.

He bit a little further. He looked up to see Oz's reaction.

Oz was panting wildly, face several shades dark with a violent, lustful blush. God, it was bliss to look upon.

"Please...." Oz said in a tone that Noe could have sworn was begging. If there was any doubts before, they were gone with his reserves.

Noe plunged his fangs further into Oz's tender, soft flesh. Noe shuddered at the feeling of Oz running his fingers through Noe's hair. God, it was heaven.(edited)

"Please, don't stop..." Oz said panting and moaning.

Noe tasted the blood that pooled onto his tongue. He grabbed Oz closer pulling him onto his lap. The effect Oz had on him was beyond addiction, beyond lust. It was an obsession he couldn't quit.

He had waited for this day for so long. It's what kept him up at night in a cold sweat and it invaded his dreams. However, all those dreams ended in a nightmare. Oz lying cold and deceased in his arms from not being able to simply stop. Blood run dry by his own hands. Tears streaming down his face by what he's done. He couldn't bare to act on his need to suck Oz's blood out of fear he may not be able to stop himself.

But dear god, how he wanted this so bad. So bad he's so happy he's tasting it now.

Noe suddenly push Oz down onto the couch they were sitting on. Oz's back fell to the couch, Noe pressed against him.

Noe dug himself deeper into Oz. Oz spread his legs to further accommodate him. This only encouraged Noe. His fangs dug further into Oz's pulsating flesh as he ground his ever swelling boner against Oz's crotch. Noe partook in Oz's blood like a dying man who hasn't seen food in days.

Oz began to grind back, moaning and whimpering gripping Noe's clothes for dear life.

Noe released his fangs from Oz's neck causing Oz to stare back curiously wondering why Noe stopped. The answer came in the form and Noe unbuttoning his shirt.

"So hot..," Noe managed to pant out, "Can't breathe."

Noe quickly, with deft precision, unbuttoned and took off his shirt revealing a sight Oz couldn't help but stare at disrespectfully and objectify to filth as he's done so many times in his sexual fantasies.

"Hey you ok," Noe asked noticing staring as Oz was not subtle and also thirstier than the most dehydrated man lost in the desert.

"Oh, yes I am. I just always thought you were very sexy. God, you're beautiful," Oz said blushing head to toe.

Noe's cool broke and he started blushing too. "T-thanks," he managed to squeak out.

Oz giggled at Noe's flustered reaction. Oz lifted his hand to Noe's face to calm him.

Noe stared down at Oz's face. It was almost magical seeing Oz's disheveled stated. Blood dripping down Oz's neck, shirt wrinkled cascading down his nearly exposed breasts, eyes and face filled with wanting. Noe touched Oz's hand that was still on his face. This wasn't a dream. God, this was better than one.

Noe couldn't help what he did next.

Noe lowered himself on top of Oz. Noe and Oz's noses practically met they were so close. A mix of being so close and Noe's hot breath against Oz's skin made Oz turn away flustered.

Noe placed his fingers under Oz's chin to keep his face where he needed it to be. Noe slowly and sensually placed his lips upon Oz's. Oz returned the kiss just as slow and soft.

Noe ran his fingers through Oz's hair as he pressed his lips harder against Oz's. Oz returned the favor running his fingers down Noe's exposed back. The sensation made Noe shiver and moan as he ran his tongue against Oz's lips. The kisses became laced with moans as Noe pulled on Oz's shirt.

Noe parted from the kiss with panting. "Take your clothes off," said pulling on Oz's shirt.

Oz did what he was told. Noe stared in fascination as his eyes partook in every length of the increasing exposure of Oz's skin. Noe suddenly became aware of the grating ache of his own erection. He would have taken his own pants if he wasn't so afraid it'd embarrass Oz at this moment.

With the last article of Oz's clothing gone, Oz turned away embarrassed by Noe's stare. Oz had trouble finding himself attractive, but Noe would beg to differ.

As if reading his mind, Noe turned Oz's face towards him. Noe gave Oz a kind smile. One that Oz always fell in love with over and over again.

Noe leaned into Oz's face. He gently put his hand on Oz's cheek, rubbing his thumb across it. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

"Thank you," Oz said blushing. "You're amazing Noe. I love you so much."

Noe smiled hearing those words. He had longed to hear them for so long even though he had heard them in many ways in his imagination and dreams. Nothing compared to how he heard it coming from Oz's own lips.

"I love you too Oz. More than I could ever explain," Noe said barely above a whisper.

Noe once again took Oz's lips onto his own as he pressed Oz back onto the couch again.

Noe once again placed himself between Oz's legs once again becoming aware of his aching erection.

"I-I'm sorry, mind if I..." Noe said lifting himself off Oz. Noe place his hands around the button his pants to gesture what he wanted to do.

"Mind if you what," Oz asked.

Noe was taken aback with that question. "God Oz, you better be glad you're cute at times like these," Noe thought to himself.

"My pants," Noe stuttered out, "Mind if I take them off."

"Oh yeah sure," Oz said immediately, "Why wouldn't I want you to?"

"I don't know. Anxiety told me I shouldn't because you might not like it," Noe said now fully embarrassed.

Oz bit his lip and ran his fingers through his own hair. "Listen, I want this I promise you. More than I have ever admitted to you."

Noe whipped his head back to Oz now fully intrigued. "Really," he asked without hesitation.

Oz nodded covering his face.

Suddenly, Noe placed his fingers on Oz's pussy to find it wet beyond what he thought it would be. The sensation of Noe's fingers down there made him gasp and moan as he curled his toes inwardly.

Noe kissed Oz's neck around the same spot he bit to tease him further. "How long have you been thinking of me like this," Noe asked as he rubbed Oz's wetness a little harder. Noe's thumb reached for the clit to tease him further.

Electric pleasure surged through Oz's body in such an overwhelming way that he couldn't talk. All that came out were squeaks and moans. The stimulation was killing him.

"Now now, that's not what I asked," Noe whispered in Oz's ear. "Be a good boy and tell me exactly what you've been thinking of me." Noe breath hitched as he managed to shudder out his next words,"and please don't' skimp on the details."

Oz wriggled under Noe's touched as he to rub the same way. Noe's brow furrowed realizing Oz wasn't going to talk unless Noe made him. Noe took his thumb away from Oz's clit. An action that made Oz whimper from its absence.

"Now now, I'll give you what you want once you give daddy what he wants," Noe growled out, his voice dropping to such an octave it seemed like it came from somewhere deep in his chest.

Oz's lip quivered as he struggled to tell him. God where to begin.

"Well, I had a fantasy similar to this. I'm alone with you in your place. You get so close to me and bite me sucking my blood because you can't take it anymore. The need making you so feral it hurts. Then you fuck me so hard I can't walk straight for a few days," Oz said blushing turning away so flustered by describing his sexual fantasies.

Noe blushed harder than he thought he would hearing someone think of him that way. He never thought he'd find anyone who thought of him that way. Confidence suddenly rising within him, he teasingly placed his hand upon Oz's thigh, hovering just above the spot he needed Noe's hand to be.

"Really and how often do you think of me in such a....sinful manner," he said voice heavy with lust straining against taking Oz right then and there.

"More than you can imagine," Oz admitted daring not to look Noe in the eye.

Noe's breath came out ragged hearing that. Noe's fingers grazed harder into Oz's thighs. He suddenly remembered he never took his pants off. They were officially killing him from how hard his cock was straining against them now.

Noe furiously tore them away revealing all of himself to Oz. Oz's eyes took Noe in fully, trying not to stare at his dick too long. Oz stared back up at Noe's. Noe leaned in close to Oz.

"What," Oz squeaked out.

"Were you staring," Noe asked.

Oz nodded blushing 500 shades darker than he thought he would.

Noe blushed along with Oz. "I-uh I hope I look ok," Noe said rubbing the back of his neck eyes darting to uncertain places. Places he will never admit but fortunately the writer is tattle tale and those places were Oz's tits. You're welcome.

Oz smiled and kissed Noe's cheek. "You look amazing. You're so beautiful," Oz said whispering against Noe's cheek.

Noe turned back to Oz's eyes. God, Noe considered himself the luckiest bastard on Earth right now and so did Oz. They felt so lucky to be in each other's presence right now, wanting each other in mutual lust.

Noe and Oz pressed their lips against each other for another kiss as Noe slid his hands down Oz's thigh and onto his clit once more.

Oz moaned wildly into the kiss as Noe pressed rubbed it harder and faster.

"S-stop..t-t--too mUCH,"Oz managed to squeak out.

"Ssshh sshh it's ok. You're so close. I just want to feel you cum once. Or tell me where you want it by precious boy," Noe whispered reading the vibes.

Oz, with much hesitance, pushed Noe's fingers towards Oz's dripping vaginal hole.

"P-please," Oz moaned.

Noe nodded as he dipped two fingers in. Oz dug his fingers into the couch cushion as Noe thrust his fingers in and out.

"Better," Noe asked checking in on Oz to see if he was doing ok.

"Yes oh gods yes," Oz said through his moans and pants.

Noe took this as a sign to go harder and deeper. Noe dug deeper trying to find the spot that would make Oz scream. Noe managed to find it with the sound of Oz's gasp.

"There," Oz said barely audible.

"There," Noe asked as he thrust his fingers harder onto that same spot.

Oz's toes curled and dug into the couch. His nail dug and scraped against Noe's back, driving him insane. Gods, Noe wasn't sure how much of this he could take before he took Oz like an animal in heat.

Noe, wanting to speed up the process before his own orgasm denial drove him to madness, kissed and teased around Oz's tits and nipple. Oz ran his fingers through Noe's hair encouraging him. Noe moaned at the sensation of Oz doing this. Curse the fact he was so tender headed.

Noe sucked on one of Oz's tits as his fingers thrust into Oz's spot harder feeling Oz on the edge of cumming.

With a final moan and gasp, Noe finally felt Oz cum around his fingers. Noe suddenly became self aware how hot and sweaty he felt at this moment.

He needed Oz now.

Noe took in Oz's blissed out, post orgasm face. Noe bathed in the sight. He couldn't believe Oz came for him of all people. Fantasized about him doing this to him. The thought of it made Noe's dick twitch with need.

Noe turned Oz's face towards him once more as he took him into another kiss. Sliding both hands down to Oz's hips, he pulled Oz forward so Noe's dick was at Oz's entrance.

Noe lifted Oz's legs higher onto his back so he can get a good angle.

"Ready," Noe asked looking for Oz's consent.

Oz nodded. "Please....fuck me please...."

That was the last thread that was cut for Noe. He ceased to be a man with reserves or gentleness at that point.

Noe dug his fingers into Oz's hips as he pulled Oz's body forward and thrust his throbbing cock in roughly. More roughly than he thought he would.

Oz moaned feeling himself squeeze around the sudden intrusion. God it felt amazing to him.

Noe panted, heart pounding at the new sensation he had never felt before. Oz was so tight around him. He could get drunk off this feeling for the rest of eternity.

"You ok," Noe asked checking to see if Oz was hurting or if it was too overstimulating.

"Yes. It feels amazing. I need you please please please," Oz said running his fingers through his own hair becoming overwhelmed with pleasure.

Noe nodded taking this as a sign he's allowed to move. Noe steadied himself, hand hooking around the back of Oz's head, other hand on Oz's hip. He began to thrust slowly and deeply trying to find a pace they both liked.

Oz's moans became progressively loud reaching in harmony with Noe's own moans. Both Oz and Noe's nails dug into each other with each motion.

Noe reached down and began to scrape his fangs against Oz's neck. Oz tilted his head back to expose himself more. Noe found another good spot and plunged his fangs into Oz's flesh once more.

As Oz's blood pooled onto Noe's tongue, he began to thrust harder. Oz moaned louder gripping Noe's hair. Noe moaned from the feeling of Oz tugging on his hair. He lifted Oz's lower body higher and began to thrust deeper and harder.

Noe ran his fingers through Oz's hair, pulling Oz's hair roughly. Noe released his fangs from Oz's neck. His teeth scraped and traveled other places on Oz's neck leaving deep, dark love bites all over.

Oz's legs began to buckle and shake from all of this happening at once. Nails dug further into Noe's skin.

"Oh gods don't stop fuck don't stop," Oz moaned and panted out.

Noe picked up the pace, thrusting harder until Oz screamed.

Oz became barely audible at this point feeling himself on the edge of cumming.

"Oz, you're so close. I can feel it," Noe panted out feeling himself getting close too.

"Don't stop. I'm gonna cum," Oz said just before biting down on Noe's shoulder.

Noe gasped and bit harder into Oz's neck. Noe had no idea being the one getting bit would turn him on too. Well noted.

With a few hard thrusts, Noe felt Oz cumming around him with Noe cumming with him.

Noe took a few moment to compose himself and then collapsed on top of Oz. The room was only filled with exhausted pants coming from both parties.

"So, how was that for you," Noe asked.

"Amazing. What about you," Oz asked in return.

"That was incredible," Noe said kissing the nearest parts his lips could reach before giving him a soft peck on the lips.

Noe pulled himself out of Oz, watching the stream of cum drip from Oz's hole. The sight made him shiver with arousal. Little did he know, Oz loved the sensation of it too.

In both their minds, they decided one round wasn't enough.

But it was Noe who made the first advance. Noe picked Oz up off the couch.

"How about we do this again, but this time on the bed where we can cuddle and have more room," Noe said holding her close.

"Ok," Oz said leaning his ear into Noe's chest feeling his heart pounding from excitement.

Noe settled Oz down onto the bed, moonlight beaming down into the room. "Thank you Oz my little moonbeam. I love you so much," Noe said pulling Oz towards him.

"I love you too little starlight," Oz said as Noe pulled Oz in for another kiss.

This was going to be a long night.

#self indulgent fics

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 3 years

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What is your opinion on straight passing privilege? I (bi) don’t think it exists, but a close (lesbian) friend of mine insists that it does bc “You can hold hands with your SO (nb cis passing man) in public without risking being the victim of a hate crime.” I have been researching but keep seeing this same argument coming up, and I’m unsure and don’t want to be making anyone upset if I’m being ignorant here.

I think that there's a lot of fucked up internet politics around who is and isn't allowed in the community. Which is ridiculous.

Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Pan, Poly, Ace, Aro, Trans, Intersex, etc.

The only people who shouldn't be in the community are cishets, and pedos, none of that 'it's a sexuality' nonsense, it's predation.

The concept of straight-passing is ridiculous, primarily because it's all based on assumptions. If you're in an m/f relationship, and you are both cis and heterosexual, it's straight.

But here's the catch, if you identify as any LGBPT+ then it's not straight.

Two trans people in an m/f relationship is not straight passing.

Two bi people in an m/f is not straight passing, it's queer babes, it's in the name. If you're bi and your partner is like, straight, it's still queer from your side of the fence.

It's the 'pick a side' argument from another direction, this straight passing nonsense. Where you are villified by the straights if you have a same-sex relationship (or fetishised, let's be real, every part of the acronymn has it's own p*rn category aimed at straight people with a kink), and if you have a relationship with the opposite gendered person, the queer community gets cranky.

Two things:

1) Is this friend between 13 and 25? Bc they could still be working this out or being mentored by t*rfs, or had some bad info. IT could be jealousy or fear of being open where you live. Perhaps you could question what makes her say that; has she had a bad experience, or did someone say this to her. where are you Are you in america? are there snake wielding jesus warriors near you? Blink SOS if you need an escape route, child

2) Who wins when everyone in the queer community is divided and policing one another? Telling everyone off for dating this person or that person or not at all

I didn't get an invite to the big queer conference to make these decisions, so like, they're not valid. It's some pocket of internet active idiots who think they can speak for everyone.

What we need to do is stop pulling this bullshit on one another and get back to asking just why the fuck it's not okay for people who are perceived as not-straight or cis etc to hold hands in public.

There's a problem for every facet of the acronym, babes and dudes and theys. Lesbians are heavily sexualised by straight cis dudes. Gays are heavly fetisihed by straight cis women. to the point where even saying 'I'm gay' is considered to be an obscene, sexual act that you should not let children be exposed to.

And there's always someone from the opposite gender who thinks they 'are confused' or 'haven't met the right (gender) person yet', or 'they could fix them with their magic genitals' or mumbled religious nonsense. There's such intense stereotypes that people can't stand women who look butch, but also you can't 'really' be a lesbian unless you are' or gay men can't just be, like, a normal dude, instead of some flamboyant in-your-face charicature.

Of course people who match the stereotype exist, too. And they get no respect for fitting into the stereptypes either, it's just another reason for disrespect. There's no winning.

Bi's can't talk to anyone without hearing a question of a threesome come up or being attacked from either side for coice of partner.

Pans, same, but also kitchenware jokes. Both Bi and Pan are considered sluts and whores and can't decide or are going to cheat, etc. Or the 'you're being special snowflakes', 'choose a side', 'you're secretly gay and won't admit / you're secretly straight and want attention' etc.

Ace/Aro - everyone under this banner gets the whole 'you just haen't found the right person' or 'when you're older/you're a late bloomer' or 'how do you know?' or 'maybe you're straight/gay and haven't worked it out yet?' invalidating them completely and trying to push sex onto them. The queer community has always let Ace and Aro in under the Bi banner, and they are welcome. But the internet community, usually young people, are tearing each other to shreds over it lmao.

Chill.

Non-binary, trans, intersex. They have been here for ages, but people from one community try to destroy their credibility, despite them existing since humanity has. It's big on p*rn and fetish sites too, lot of straight dudes think these things are hot and sexy, but would spit on trans people in the street. Hypocrites (I mean, every second low-brow comedy movie out there makes a thai-l*dyb*y joke, and how it 'doesn't count' like yikes).

Nb has only just been recognised, which is funny bc society literally made up gender and the rules and pretended that was how its encoded in DNA lmao.

Transpeople have it bad though. Between the cis straights, the cis queer community (primarily t*rfs and those who fall for misinformation) and the fetishists, and the medical community who treats them like an illness rather than people. Like, they are afforded respect if they 'pass', but even then it's still an EW factor.

Transwomen are seen as 'men in dresses who want to break into women's spaces' and treated horrifically; assaults are very high. Transmen are seen as butch women, and 'gender tr*itors' by the Crazy Motherfuckers we mentioned before; their assaults are high. They're not considered Real People unless they meet the ridiculously high standards for each gender; unless they perform Right.

I remember, but did not understand at the time bc I recall i was little, that there was a gameshpw bachelorette style and there was a big twist. You know what the twist was? That the bachelorette they'd been dating and trying to win over... was trans. I don't think that she knew it would be the big twist, either; of the two men remaining, bother were angry and one might have been sick. Might be on youtube.

But like, that's funny to the non-queer community. They put a huge fucking target on this woman's back, put her in danger of being hurt, abused, killed, by anyone who watched it. By the men who she had 'lied to' as they chose to frame it, of their weird white american families who could have sought revenge. Like yikes.

And intersex people (called h*rmaphrodites for a long time even by medical personnel) were also a p*rn category and/or medical curiosity for centuries. Not to mention all the cases of parents who just went with 'make them a (specific gender)' if there was mixed presentation, at birth, and got mad at the kids for being like "Hey so, you flipped the coin wrong and I'm ___" even thought the potential for this was always on the cards.

And the parents often make a big messa bout how their baby ___ is dead and gone, even if they DO accept the person/child as who they really are. It's like, I get it they have changed but you didn't mourn their first haircut or lost baby tooth like this and that was change too, chill.

Straight-passing is a projection and a weapon. Like, is it the people in the relationship's fault that society looks at the pair and decides they are m/f, straight and cis? Nah, it's what people are conditioned assume and that's on them.

We can't bring it into the queer spaces and keep perpetuating that shit, because it's nonsense. Queer people are dying in other countries and your friend wants to being smart-assed about the fact you hold hands with your nb datemate in public?

Nonsense. That's right up there with t*rfs and the gold-star bullshit that was going on for a few years there. Probs still is among the younger people lmaoooo.

'Passing priviledge' is a myth, and it is used to hurt people. Vulnerable people and those who need support / guidance and assistance from their queer communities more than ever. So try to talk to your friend or try The Whole Friend disposal services, either way, chill.

The real issue here is that any of us are at risk of a hate crime for daring to even show affection in public. That even in safe spaces, 'allies' and those wise enough not to be openly homo/trans/bi/pan/ace/aro/other phobic are still side-eyeing you and wanting to talk 'for you' without listening to the community itself.

We have bigger issues than this, and your friend (and some others on the internet) need to get a grip and prioritise.

[Insert strained analogy about being pro-child but childfree in a suburb where everyone got married out of high school and anticipates you and your partner will too, no matter how often you remind them No Thanks. But you babysat the other day and people thought you and your partner looked like 'naturals' when you took child to the park and played with them. And you remind them, hey, chill, we like kids too but it's not for us. And they get pissy and pushy.]

---------

I can only point it out from my perspective, I'm certain there other queer people from the above acronymn community who can present their thoughts on the matter to and what it means to them.

Thanks for the question, good-bi.

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azdoine · 3 years

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@canmom

say... what is the canon for this homunculus... >///<'

i ask bc transfem fic is an all too rare thing no matter the context and the figure of the homunculus is a very good one in most cases I've met it!

I mean, you can go and read it if you want, but IDK if “homunculus” was even the right word, or if you’d get anything out of reading my fanfic, or out of reading the fanfic that my fanfic was based upon, because this was an utter fanwank singularity of petty drama.

To make a very long story slightly shorter, I was spoofing a long-running play-by-post CYOA, a fanfic where readers could collectively decide upon the OC protagonist’s actions through first-past-the-post voting. Somewhat uniquely, the CYOA author explicitly invited his readers to use all of their collective knowledge and skills in making decisions, including not only their IRL expertise but their knowledge of the original canon that the fanfic was based upon; in this way, before the OC protagonist developed a personality and grew into her own character, the author even once went so far as to describe the protagonist as a kind of collective self-insert, a “blank slate avatar” of the forum on which this CYOA was played.

So the protagonist naturally became hypercompetent in many ways, if not in others, and she was able to intuit things she should have had no way of knowing. This was then justified in-setting with a strong implication that the protagonist was specifically purpose-built with revealed knowledge by and from a higher power, or even that the protagonist’s soul was a gestalt assembled out of countless other souls from a defunct alternate timeline.

Anyways, I liked this CYOA a fair amount for its own merits as a fix-it fanfic, but I was also interested in what seemed to me to be this amusing interplay between diegetic and extradiegetic story elements, right. (Because yes, I was the kind of person who e.g. thought it was SO DEEP AND CLEVER when Hussie had the carapacian exiles send commands to the SBURB/SGRUB players in Homestuck.)

Furthermore, there was a brief eruption of forum drama surrounding this CYOA some years back, when someone tore into it for having a female OC protagonist in a sapphic relationship with another girl, despite running on a voter base/reader base primarily consisting of heterosexual men; I ignored the vitriolic “men fetishize lesbians and that’s why it’s ok for me to use transmisogynistic slurs whenever i see bad yuri media” style discourse and put all my thoughts on the matter in my back pocket for another day. Likewise, much more recently, someone proposed that a peripheral character in this CYOA might have been a trans woman, at which point the CYOA author had to step in and say that the theory was wrong, and that all of the characters in his story were cis more generally, because he didn’t think he’d done enough research to be able to write a trans character sensitively.

At that point I was vaguely and pettily fed up with the way people were and weren’t reading gender into this story. So I wrote one or two thousand words of meta-fanfic about the OC protagonist of the CYOA being a trans woman herself, with the intention of somewhat gently ribbing on the idea that anyone could unironically treat her as a direct extension of her male voter base without also having to see that as a cutting commentary on the gender identity of her voters, and the intention of gently ribbing on the way the author had excluded trans experiences from a story with a literal blank slate reader-insert character.

The rest is history, lol. I rather expected a response from the other readers and voters something along the lines of “hey, how dare you imply that I’m a tranny just because I’m still deeply emotionally invested in this five-years-on-and-going-strong million-word-fanfic about my sexy anime girl self-insert and her waifu?”, or at least along the lines of “this is too meta for me, go write your trans girl metafiction on the SCP wiki like everyone else does”.

Apparently I was somehow still far too subtle, though, because instead I got responses like “why did you write our collective self-insert as a trans man? just because we’re men doesn’t mean she would be too” and “yea, I dunno fam, our collective self-insert reads as AFAB agender to me”. IIRC, someone even made fanart about the latter, at which point I decided to violently suppress my memories of the entire sequence of events.

#anyways #if you're still interested or if you're skipping my commentary #then you can find the original CYOA story as 'Puella Magi Adfligo Systema'#on the Sufficient Velocity forums #(and obviously it was a Puella Magi Madoka Magica fanfic)

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fablecoingolf · 4 years

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thots on LOGAN, on REAVER, on BEN FINN,

oh man, this might be long I warn you! I’m not sure how best to format it I think I’m gonna do like dots, coz otherwise it’ll be just a massive block of text

LOGAN:

honestly not as many thoughts as the other two aside from “nerd” and “inconsistent face” I look forward to trying to draw him one day and by look forward to I mean dread very much!!!

he’s totally not cishet look how he sits and his colour palette is pretty close to the ace flag so, though since he’s the villain for the decent amount of the game it’s important to be careful with that

I think that his design in combination with how the hobw tends to look feels antisemitic in a way that is recurring in fable that should be addressed more often I really hope if 4 ever happens they change the like good/evil morph pretty considerably, 3 is an improvement though

I don’t have many feelings towards him though as a character, there’s a thing with tone in 3 that I’ll talk about more with reaver that influences this I think, and just in general he sort of exists separately to everyone for most of the game, like he’s the player characters brother you should feel Something but there’s just no like. anything to their interactions. what’s his relationship like with theresa, with walter, with like Anyone, he just monologues at a map!!! do something talk to someone half a character is their interactions!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like he’s fun I’ve made posts about him before, on a surface level he’s fun but like past that I just don’t really feel anything towards him? so it’s kind of hard to talk about him

I had an image of him up on my screen while writing this so this entire time he’s been staring me down hdkdj

the uh, like art of him with, the front of the armor that’s shaped like a crown is very funny that’s supposed to go on your head what are you doing

I have my own idea of how Hero stuff works because this is my canon now and I can’t be stopped and I really don’t like some parts of how they say it works, but I don’t know if now is the best place or time to talk about that, it’s partially relevant to all these characters but it’s kind of hard to explain and I feel like by the time I reach the end of this I’ll have no more words so I should really save them? I don’t know, I bring it up because it’s relevant though I just can’t decide

REAVER:

it’s funny that that’s his name, dude’s not very creative huh? like a clothier named Tailor, we get it george you steal things

I mean my name is crow because.I like crows..but I’M allowed to name myself stupid things because I’M sexy and cool and awesome and my ideas are good ones always (sarcasm)

for real though my thoughts here are complicated because there are parts to this character that touch on things that I like(pirates,cool spooky void stuff,) but those don’t get like, any focus

I like him in 2! I only like him in 2. aside from the weird character design decisions 3 made, theres the tone thing I mentioned at logan that I’ve been thinking about lately I’m not sure I can word it right but I’ll give it a shot!

so like, I think, fable likes to be funny, the feel it generally goes for is fun and it’s a fantasy game yknow? characters like jack of blades and lady grey (and the crawler kiiiind of? a bit) are obviously bad but because of either the way the game treats them or the way the game feels or the things they do theyre fun villains who I like! reaver in 2 falls into this I think, yes pirates are real but, like knights and stuff there’s. I can’t think how to word it, there’s a difference between historical knights and fantasy knights and reaver is a fantasy pirate, the shadow court stuff is obviously bad but that’s also not real? the tone of 2 is more serious than 1 and I haven’t replayed it in a while so I’d have to play it to know how it lands Exactly. but reaver in 3 hits too real with actual things and lady grey is also evil rich person but the tone of the game carries that where 3 is serious about it and it’s effects that’s like the whole point and you can have a character and a game that does that but you can’t have that character Also be the fun villain because then it confuses things, that’s Also not to say the fun villain can’t be interesting or like metaphors or whatever obviously it’s just The Feel of the thing, fable 3 can have its evil factory guy but reaver isn’t the character for that for so many reasons. I really don’t think I explained this in a way that makes any sense I can try to word it clearer another time maybe

I have fixed this internal problem I have by pretending very very hard that reaver isn’t in 3 and that’s just some other guy and that’s fixed all of my problems, even that stuff aside from a character perspective I don’t buy it

I have a whole thing about what he’s doing in 3 because I don’t know who the onceler guy is but that’s not him. it’s very neat I think please ask me about it I need an excuse to talk about it and this is already an excuse sure but it’s already very long

anyone else noticed that he always wears things that cover his neck? I noticed it when compiling reference images for my animal crossing thing and I hate to give you the bad news but I am certain he’d never wear the sexy pirate shirt, if I had to design modern clothes for him he’d have a turtleneck

I feel like I could read into the way he dresses (gloves, high neck,yknow?) in an interesting way actually but I’d need to think on it more

also actually before I keep pretending he’s not in 3 I don’t want to brush over the transmisogyny in the poster which is supposed to be viewed as a positive thing since it shows up, like when the rebellion is progressing right? I don’t remember the exact point of the game but you get what I mean. or the dress which would be fine if he wasn’t an antagonist in this game + the poster making it clear it’s intended to be something to be made fun of

I have made pokemon teams for the fable 2 heros because I think about them a lot and pokemon a lot and I want to share but I might wait until I’m in a pokemon brain space so it’s easier for me to, but I have Thoughts

the man who lives forever by lord huron has oakvale reaver vibes for obvious reasons and it’s also a good song and you should listen to it

a few lord huron songs do actually but I don’t want to associate those other ones with him in my brain because I like them and,like, it’s not my fault our aesthetics overlap!! I hate that!!!!!! I’M the sexier bi/pan nonbinary occult pirate Back Off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He gets ONE lord huron song, ONE, no more!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a few conflicting ideas of oakvale reaver actually I need to settle on one but I’m not sure which I’m gonna go with, one that song matches with way better

he wins second place in having inconsistent face hdkdhk

I’m always torn talking about him for like all the reasons I’ve stated and like, people talk about him plenty and maybe what I could say is different coz I think I interpret the character different to the way I see a lot, but it feels like I could put my energy elsewhere better same reason why it feels weird to draw him? he’s popular adding to that pile rather than like anyone else would feel weird of me, but my brain latches on to pirate and goes wild coz they’re important to me separately so, yknow I’m torn

I could say more probably coz like I said the fable 2 heros are my favourites and I have the most thoughts on them, but I’ve been writing this for actual hours coz words are very difficult to make and I have stuff I need to do today

anyway the oakvale ghost pirate is still cooler, he says yarrrrr and Didnt cause oakvales destruction, and he loves his wife!!! that’s like +1000 sexy points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he’s a ghost which rocks

BEN FINN:

he’s good : ) !

I like him! he’s good

my thoughts here are very simple and I can’t elaborate past “: ) !!!”

oh he’s trans and bi

and while I usually don’t care about ships unless they’re the seafaring kind, page+hobw+ben finn is cute

he’s just good I have nothing to say and no complicated feelings i just think he’s neat : ) !

one day I’ll elaborate on the hero thing I was talking about with logan I just don’t have the energy right now

I genuinely can’t think of anything right now I’m sorry hdkdjf I just like him that’s enough!!

#long post #asks #lilegghead #logan #ben finn #reaver #THANK YOU SO SO MUCH THIS WAS FUN : D !!!!!!! sorry for taking so long i reblogged the prompt and then immediately forgot and fell asleep an #and then it took me hours to write this hdkdjfk #i am very much out of words now i cant think what to say thank you again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i cant to the like. read more thing on mobile im pretty sure i want to tag the characters for my own system but i dont want this to show up #in the character tags coz its so long i hope it doesnt #usually if my tags are long like this it wont so im hoping doing this will work hdkjdk

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nyxshadowhawk · 5 years

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Nyx’s Ultimate Halloween Playlist

Need some theme music for your haunted house or Halloween party? I create a new Halloween/Samhain list every year. (This year’s list uses a LOT of SotN music! I’ll be posting that too.) Here’s a compilation of some of the “greatest hits.” Yes, there’s a lot of Nox Arcana.

Spooky:

“Toccata” by Nox Arcana: You need a version of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor! I use the Nox Arcana version, but if you want something more upbeat, I recommend the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version.

“Nocturne” by Nox Arcana: An almost quintessential Halloween piece. Dark, creepy, expressive, easily applicable to a variety of contexts, evokes sensual and torturous bloodlust... It’s perfect!

“Labyrinth of Dreams” by Nox Arcana: Another absolutely quintessential Halloween piece. I originally found it in a cute Halloween animation on youtube (which I’ll post later). This is my favorite Nox Arcana piece. It’s mystical and spooky, and contains the very essence of Halloween magic.

“Ceremonial Spell” by Adrian von Ziegler: In my opinion, one of the most beautiful pieces of music that I have ever heard. It invokes a dark, smoky atmosphere lit by candelabra and filled with undead, slowly, eerily waltzing.

“Masque of the Red Death” by Nox Arcana: Speaking of waltzes, this one is in a ballroom in a magnificent ballroom. This dramatic organ piece perfectly reflects Poe’s words: “There were delirious fancies such as the madman fashions. There were much of the beautiful, much of the wanton, much of the bizarre, something of the terrible, and not a little of that which might have excited disgust.”

“Into the Night” by Nox Arcana: Another one of my favorite Nox Arcana pieces, spooky and fast-paced, as the night creatures crawl out of their lairs and gather to quench their thirst.

“Ghost Bride” by Adrian von Ziegler: A melancholy music box piece. Can’t you see a beautiful, sad spirit floating down a dusty corridor in an abandoned mansion?

“The Forgotten Path” by Nox Arcana: I think this piece is underrated. It’s sinister and kinda sexy, and brings to mind seductive female spirits.

“Shadow Dance” by Nox Arcana: Much like “Labyrinth of Dreams,” this one just screams “Halloween” to me. You can just see witches and demons dancing around a fire in a forest of leafless trees.

“Once Upon a Nightmare” by Nox Arcana: Another one of my favorites from Grimm Tales. I love listening to this one when I’m walking in forests around sunset. It’s sinister, but also sounds like the beginning of an adventure. I could see this in a video game.

“Shadowplay” by Nox Arcana: This is my favorite track from Theater of Illusion. I love it for how fast and energetic it is. It puts me right into the theater, watching a handsome magician spin shadows around the stage. Mmm...

“Born of the Night” by Nox Arcana: The Dark Tower is one of my favorite albums. This particular one’s a classic and among the best Nox Arcana tracks. This takes everything I said about “Into the Night” and turns it up to eleven. It’s just so intense and cathartic. Those aformentioned night creatures raise their raspy voices in worship of the Dark Lord and Queen of the Night. The night summons like an unquenched love, beckoning with the promise of dark desire.

“Night of the Wolf” by Nox Arcana: Arguably, Nox Arcana’s most famous track. I first came across it on SYTYCD when a man used it for a solo. A few years ago, by pure coincidence, I heard those first few telltale bass strokes in dance class as my teacher was scrolling through music, and I lost my goddamn mind. I squealed like an eleven-year-old squeals over boy bands. “I’m not like other girls, I squeal over creepy shit!”

“The Raven” by Nox Arcana: The piece that helped me rediscover Nox Arcana, and that began my obsession. This piece is just so beautiful, and based after Poe’s classic poem. I listened to it while memorizing the poem. Its instrumentation is just perfect all the way through. I’m not quite sure if it belongs on this list, since it has a bit of a different atmosphere, but I love it too much to leave it off.

“Halloween Waltz” by Derek and Brandon Fiechter: Alright, let’s leave off the Nox Arcana. There’s a lot of Fiechter pieces I could put on this list, but I like this one. It lacks Nox Arcana’s sophistication, but it brings to mind a classic gathering of monsters enjoying the Hallowmass festivities on their one night.

“Cemetery Waltz” and “Waltz of the Willows” by Two Steps From Hell: These pieces are both short enough that I basically regard them as one piece. I love how ethereal and romantic they sound.

“The Vampire Masquerade” by Peter Gundry: This French-style piece puts us in a regal vampire’s ballroom, with moonlight streaming through the windows, tall candelabra, and crystal goblets of blood. All the vampires are impeccably dressed in nineteenth-century clothing. Actually, that blond gentleman over there looks more eighteenth-century French. (There’s a really cool organ version of this piece on youtube.) There’s a lot of spooky Gundry pieces that I like, especially “The Shadow’s Bride,” “The Nocturnal,” and “The Shadows Hymn,” but this one felt the most “Halloweeny.” I recommend checking out his stuff.

“Danse Macabre” by Camille Saint-Saëns: Samhain is about the spirits of the dead returning for a night of revelry. Azrael plays his violin while the ghosts and skeletons dance in the graveyard until dawn.

“An Embassy Waltz” and the original “Veilgarden Theme” by Maribeth Solomon and Brent Barkman, from Fallen London: I’m sad that FL no longer has music attached to it since the app was retired. I love this music. "An Embassy Waltz” is so evocative of everything Fallen London is-- street lamps and smoke and bats and tentacles. And the Veilgarden theme takes you straight to the dim honey-dens for a bit of hedonistic pleasure. (I’m referring to the quiet and sensual original, not “Carnival at Midnight,” which is the Mahogany Hall variation and the version that is on the official OST. I just like the former version better.)

Party:

“Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett: It would not be a Halloween list without Monster Mash. We’re heading into the party section of the list. The line “Dracula and his son” makes me imagine Alucard sitting in the corner of the castle hall with his back against the stone wall, sipping wine just like his father and watching the festivities with a bored, deadpan expression. Alucard’s not one for parties. I can’t act in-character at this year’s Halloween party, or I would be a terrible hostess.

“Land of the Dead” by Voltaire: I love Voltaire, and this jazzy song from The Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy is absolutely perfect for any Halloween party.

“Moon Trance” by Lindsey Stirling: Lindsey’s epic dancing zombies graveyard number. This is the kind of Halloween piece that makes you want to bounce up and down.

“The Night (Deathrock Version)” by Voltaire: This is another Voltaire piece that I like to dance to. Some of the lyrics are a little cheesy, but I see this is as the fun, upbeat, rockin’ version of “Born of the Night.” Same deal, different style! It’s super catchy. Come with me to the other side! Make that girl in black your bride!

“Sympathy for the Devil” (I use the Guns N’ Roses version because it’s the one on the Interview soundtrack): You really can’t go wrong with this one. Especially if you want to stick it to uptight religious dweebs who hate Halloween for being “Satanic.”

“Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At the Disco: If it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine... Want to embrace your inner decadent devil? I do!

“O Fortuna (Carmina Burana)” by Spiritual Project: A remix of O Fortuna that my dance teacher played in class one October. It rocks. It’s probably less “party” and more “evening workout,” though. (Its one song on an album of other Halloween remixes of stuff like “Ghostbusters” and “The Phantom of the Opera”).

“Don’t Go By the River” by Voltaire: It was between this and “When You’re Evil.” As great as that is, I thought this was more upbeat and catchy. And it references Lestat. It’s perfect if you want something Cajun-style.

“Phantom of the Opera” medley by Lindsey Stirling: A new addition this year. This was featured in The Umbrella Academy. It’s so awesome.

“All Souls Night” by Loreena McKennit: Putting the Samhain in All Hallows’ Eve. Brings the list full-circle in that it’s a bit spooky and very Halloweeny, but still fun to dance to. It’s actually pretty cathartic, and it makes me think of cloaked figures in masks dancing with their lanterns on hills. Old-school Halloween!

Believe it or not, I’m actually leaving a lot off. Pretty much everything by Nox Arcana works for Halloween. There’s a lot more Voltaire that I like, too. Lately, I’ve been listening to “Carpe Noctem” from Tanz der Vampire (the original German version, because it’s better), and that is just so dark and sexy and fun to rock out to. You can’t go wrong with “This is Halloween,” of course. I also recommend “Moon Dance” and “Remains of the Day” from Corpse Bride. “The Secret Garden” and “Dark Ritual” by Adrian von Ziegler are both creepy. I could go on and on. If you need music for a specific situation, feel free to ask me!

#halloween #halloween music #samhain #samhain music #spooky music #haunted house music #halloween party music #atmospheric #halloween playlist #dark music #nox arcana #voltaire #aurelio voltaire #adrian von ziegler #peter gundry #lindsey stirling #loreena mckennitt #monster mash

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littlereyofsunlight · 4 years

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The Fire is So Delightful

Hi @geekynerddemon, I’m your @steggyfanevents secret santa! You chose modern AU from the options I gave you, so I wrote you some firefighter Steve Rogers and a self-rescuing Peggy Carter. There’s a cat in a tree, plus a bunch of the usual suspects from the MCU. Chapter 2 coming shortly!

Read on AO3

ch 1/2 Rating: Gen Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers Characters: Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Sif, Dum Dum Dugan Additional Tags: Firefighter AU, Modern Day AU, romcom, meet-cute, the gang’s all here Summary: Peggy rescues a cat from a tree. Steve doesn’t help.

“Will you look after Liho for me?” Natasha’s sudden request startled Peggy out of her contemplation of the drink in front of her. They were at their usual place, a dingy little bar down the block from work where the bartenders all knew them and they could hold a conversation without having to shout over music or dodge the advances of the neighborhood suits, who generally avoided the place owing to its distinctly aggressive lack of atmosphere.

“Sorry?”

Natasha kept her eyes on her own drink, fidgeting with the straw. Natasha, normally a beer drinker, or after especially difficult weeks just straight vodka, had ordered one of the bar’s ridiculous cocktails. It was tequila-based, neon orange, came in a Tiki cup and had what looked to Peggy like an entire mint plant sticking out the top. “I’m going out of town for the holiday and I need a cat-sitter.”

Peggy had worked with Natasha on the analyst team for six years now, but she’d only ever been invited to her home once, a few months ago. “I’d be happy to, I have no plans.” As a rule, she saved the trans-Atlantic flights for better weather. Her parents weren’t big on Christmas, anyways.

Natasha gave a quick little half smile, and Peggy noticed her shoulders drop a good inch. “Thank you.” She took a sip of her drink, holding the ostentatious garnish away from her face as she did so. “My, um, ex-girlfriend is also going to be home for the holiday, so I didn’t want to just do a short trip this year. I’ll get you a key next week.” Then she changed the subject back to work, and they strategized about their supervisor’s latest power play—and speculated how their beloved admin Darcy Lewis might undermine it—until much too late for a work night.

Two weeks later, Peggy set her bag down just inside the threshold of Natasha’s bright, clean two-story duplex. “Are you sure you want me to stay?”

Nat waved her hand. “It’s such a long drive between your neighborhood and mine. If you’d be more comfortable at home, of course, Liho will be fine.”

Peggy looked around the downstairs living area, flooded with early afternoon light. “I’m sure I’ll be perfectly comfortable here. I just know how very private you are.”

Nat gave her a shy smile. “I think we’re past all that, aren’t we?”

“I’m glad you feel that way.” Peggy smiled broadly back.

“Okay, bedroom is upstairs and there are fresh sheets and towels and everything. Help yourself to anything in the fridge or pantry, of course. I got some of those yogurts you always eat, plus this—” Nat thrust a nice bottle of red wine into Peggy’s hands, though Peggy wasn’t sure exactly where she’d been hiding it up until then “—Her food is on the counter, please just the listed amounts, because she is a terrible beggar and will try to weasel more food out of you.“

“Noted,” Peggy said.

“And her litter boxes are in the bathrooms, the litter is flushable.”

“Convenient.”

“Also, she sometimes tries to escape out the front door, so look out for that.”

“So to review, your cat is a cat who acts like a cat,” Peggy teased. “I have this handled, I promise. Liho and I will get some quality time on your couch with everyone’s favorite streaming network while you spend the holiday with your sexy ex. Now get out of here. Maria’s waiting for you, isn’t she?”

“Thank you, Peggy,” Natasha said, as she rolled her eyes but pulled her in for a quick hug nonetheless. “Liho’s hiding upstairs, but she’ll probably come down around dinnertime, so like, six, if she doesn’t get curious about you before then.”

“Is she very interested in people?” Peggy’s grandmother kept cats in her little London flat, and they were always all over the place regardless of who was visiting, though she supposed that could have been more out of necessity. The few times she and her brother Michael had tried to play hide-and-seek while visiting Nana had been very anticlimactic: there were only two good child-sized (or even cat-sized) hiding spots in the whole place.

Nat shook her head. “She and I get along because we’re very similar.”

“So if I lose her, I should just put out a saucer of vodka.”

“It might work,” Nat allowed. “Smart-ass.”

“Aren’t you leaving?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nat looked up the stairs one more time. “Thanks again. Text me if you need anything.”

“We won’t.” Peggy raised her eyebrow. “Text me if you get some this weekend.”

Nat actually blushed at that, to Peggy’s surprise. “You’re sort of wearing on my gratitude, here,” she grumbled fondly. She picked up her bag and took her coat off the hook.

Peggy threw up her hands. “Yes, I’m trying to get you to leave already!”

Laughing over her shoulder, Nat finally opened the door. “See you in a week.”

“Drive safe!” Peggy called after her.

“Oh!” Nat called, stopping beside her car. “My neighbors are all pretty friendly, don’t be surprised if someone pops by.”

Before Peggy could formulate a response (How friendly? Which neighbors? Why aren’t any of them watching your cat?), Nat was in her car and on her way. “Thanks for that advice, I guess,” Peggy said to herself. She closed the door and looked around. At least this Christmas she’d be alone in a new location, she mused. She pulled out her phone and tapped out a quick message to her friend Angie back home, even though Peggy knew she’d be asleep already. She scrolled aimlessly through the apps on her phone, hovering over the ‘dating’ folder she’d shoved Hinge and Bumble and all the rest into after the last in a series of disastrous dates over the summer. Peggy hated to admit it, even to herself, but she was lonely.

True to Natasha’s word, a small, sleek black cat poked her head through the top two spindles of the stairs promptly at six pm and, upon seeing Peggy on the couch but not Natasha, she let out a series of squeaking chirps. Peggy put down the novel she’d borrowed from Nat’s bookshelf—Lauren Beukes’s Broken Monsters, and here Peggy had thought Nat to be more of a nonfiction reader—and got up to see what Liho’s dinner situation was.

Natasha very clearly cared a great deal for the skinny little cat who, according to Nat, had turned up on her doorstep one day and invited herself to stay forever. There was a stainless steel water dish that continuously burbled up a little fountain, and two shallow dishes, one for wet food and one for dry. On the counter above the cat’s dishes, Nat had thoughtfully set out Liho’s food, all fancy brand-name specialty stuff. Liho chirped at her a few more times while Peggy dumped a can of wet into the designated bowl, and she kept making adorable little nomming noises while she chowed down. Peggy stroked her hand down the cat’s back and Liho jumped and shot Peggy an affronted look before she went back to her food.

“No touchy while eating, got it.” Peggy left the cat to her meal and grabbed her phone to see what delivery options were available in Nat’s neighborhood. As she tried to decide between Mexican and an interesting Vietnamese-fusion place, the doorbell rang.

Peggy opened the door to a barefoot, confused-looking man wearing a t-shirt despite the frigid weather. He sketched a brief wave before launching into a query in sign language, but she couldn’t hope to follow. Peggy waved back and gave him a broad “huh” gesture. He nodded and reached up to turn on the hearing aids hidden under his hat.

“Is Nat home?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, she’s not in,” Peggy responded.

“I’m her neighbor, Clint,” he said, pointing his thumb at the other side of the duplex. “I was hoping she’d want to split a takeout order.”

“Oh!” Peggy said, realization dawning. “I’m Peggy, Nat’s friend from work. I’m watching her cat for the week. Did she tell you she was going back for the holiday?”

Clint watched her lips closely and nodded as she spoke. “Right, sorry, I forgot.” He scratched the back of his head under his knit cap and squinted at her. “Do you maybe want to go in on some takeout?”

A grin spread across her face and she opened the door wider. “What do you think of the Vietnamese place?”

Clint gave her both thumbs up. “The báhn bao are freaking amazing.”

When Nat texted later that evening to let Peggy know she’d arrived, Peggy and Clint snapped a quick photo for her with their very impressive spread of food and Liho just barely visible in the background, creeping on the interlopers in her home from the top of the stairs. Nat texted back a laughing with tears emoji and then when you go to bed tonight double check under the covers. she sometimes attacks feet if she’s not expecting them

Noted, Peggy replied. More normal cat behavior.

Nat sent back the eye-roll emoji.

Have you seen Maria yet? Peggy hoped she wasn’t being too nosy. She and Nat had been friendly for years but this new level, with in-home cat-sitting and ex-sex-discussing, was still pretty new for them.

In response, a photo appeared of Nat’s slim fingers around a half-drunk pint glass. she’s meeting me in 30 minutes, got here early for some liquid courage

Peggy sent her a string of crossed fingers and martini glasses, punctuated with a purple heart.

Nat sent back a purple heart and Peggy felt it in her chest, warm and liquid. She didn’t have many good friends, and all of them were back home in the UK. Nat, standoffish, prickly, elusive Nat, was turning out to be her first real friend in the States.

Just then, Liho jumped up into Peggy’s lap and butted her head against the hand holding her phone. Now she was ready for Peggy to pet her.

Clint was good company, and he turned out to unabashedly love Love Island, which Peggy watched to keep up with Angie’s opinions on the subject, so he and Peggy re-started the beginning of the third series together and talked about how Camilla was too good for the rest of the crowd.

While Peggy got ready for bed, she poked her head around the upstairs, looking for Liho as she brushed her teeth and slathered on moisturizer, dipping back into the bathroom to spit and then to dab on a spot treatment.

“Where are you hiding, miss?” She peeked behind the door of Nat’s second bedroom, set up as an office. She spun the desk chair around, but there was no cat curled in a ball in the seat. Peggy went into Nat’s bedroom and threw back the covers, but no luck. She called and called, but Liho didn’t poke her head out, didn’t answer with a chirp. Peggy searched the whole house twice, and then remembered what Nat had said about the front door. Had it been open too long when Clint left? Peggy had said goodnight and gone to put away her leftovers, she hadn’t watched to see if the cat stayed inside. She couldn’t remember seeing her after that.

Feeling out of sorts, Peggy grabbed her phone and Nat’s key, tossed a hoodie on over her sleeping shirt and shoved her feet into her sneakers. She opened the door and stepped onto the stoop, calling softly for Liho as she shut the door firmly behind her, in case the cat was still inside. “If you’re out here, darling, please come back inside.” Peggy shivered as a cold wind blew down the street, throwing the bare branches of the tree in Nat’s yard against each other. A full moon and a cloudless sky, plus the street lamps and the festive lights on many of the houses meant the street was fairly well-lit, even at this hour.

She turned on the flashlight on her phone and swept the light around the walkway, focusing on the spots in shadow. “Liho!” She stepped off the stoop and into the yard. Over the wind, Peggy heard it. An unmistakable chirp. She spun around, trying to see the cat. “Come here, kitty!” Against her better judgement, she made kissy noises and thanked the lord no one else seemed to be out at this hour. Another chirp, and this time Peggy realized where it was coming from. She aimed her light at the tree. Standing in a vee about halfway up the old oak was Liho, shivering in the wind.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Peggy said, “did you get yourself stuck up there?” Liho chirped back at her and stayed put.

Peggy eyed the tree trunk. She’d climbed more difficult ones, to be sure, but not since primary school. She tucked her phone and keys into her pocket and zipped her hoodie up to her chin. “I’m gonna get you down,” she told the cat. “Don’t worry,” she said, mostly to herself.

As Peggy climbed, Liho retreated further up into the branches. “That’s the wrong direction!” Peggy complained. But she could keep going, so she did. The street lamp provided decent illumination, and it was a dry, cold night, so the bark wasn’t slippery against her rubber-soled shoes.

A truck rumbled down the street and stopped at a nearby house and Peggy hoped the occupants wouldn’t notice her, climbing a tree at midnight in her pajamas.

“Uh, ma’am?” A voice called up from below.

“Bugger,” Peggy cursed. No such luck.

She didn’t dare look down, the branches were starting to get thin. Liho watched the man on the street with some interest, though, which might work in Peggy’s favor. “Ma’am I’m with the fire department. Is everything okay up there?”

Peggy had to laugh. “I’m fine, just retrieving a cat. But you seem to be short a hook and ladder, or even a siren. So try again, Mr. Fireman.”

She heard a sigh from down below, but Liho was cautiously creeping towards Peggy along one of the topmost branches. “That’s it, come here.” Peggy reached out her hand and Liho came closer. Peggy braced herself against the trunk of the tree, hugging it with her thighs, and then she grabbed the cat by the scruff of her neck. Liho let out an undignified squawk but didn’t fight her grip, allowing Peggy to drag her close to her chest and hold her there.

“Good job,” the man encouraged.

“No thanks to you,” Peggy muttered. She climbed down. Liho, to her credit, submitted to Peggy’s hold like a kitten in her mama’s jaws. Soon enough, they were both out of the tree.

The supposed firefighter stood several feet away on the sidewalk, watching. “All set?” he asked.

“We’re fine.” She finally got a good look at him then, and well, he did look the part. At least six feet tall, with broad shoulders, fair hair, and a clean-cut All-American sort of look, if the chiseled jawline throwing shadows under the streetlamps were anything to go by. He wasn’t in his gear, of course, just jeans and a short leather jacket. It was still a good look on him.

He looked back up the tree. “You, uh, you’re pretty good at that.” He looked back to her and gave her a small smile.

“It’s not my first tree.” She looked him up and down. “Are you really a firefighter?”

He hooked his thumb back at his truck. “Not on duty. I heard the call on my radio, and I was nearby.” Now Peggy could see the bar of lights on the top of his truck. “I’m guessing you didn’t call this in, though? You definitely had things under control.”

She smiled despite herself. “I did have it under control.”

He nodded. “Well, glad I could be of no help at all.”

“You certainly did get here quickly, so points for that, I suppose.” She shifted the cat against her and took a tentative step closer.

“I live in the neighborhood.” He took a step closer, too. Peggy could see the wry smile on his lush mouth now. “Steve Rogers,” he offered.

“Peggy Carter. I’m just cat-sitting for a friend.” She cut him a look under her lashes, having a bit of fun. “But I’m starting to see why my friend likes this location.” Steve open and shut his mouth a few times, and then his reply was cut off by the wail of a siren. They both turned to look as a fire truck careened down the street. Steve stepped into the center of the road to flag them down. As the siren got louder, Peggy felt Liho tense under her hands, her front claws digging into Peggy’s sweatshirt. She tried to hold her close, but the cat squirmed away and bounded right back up into the tree. “Oh, Bloody Nora!”

He came back to stand beside her, hands on his hips. “Did the cat just run back up the tree?”

Peggy sighed. “The cat just ran back up the tree.”

“Well,” Steve scratched at the back of his head as he looked up to where Liho had perched herself, “I have that ladder now.”

“Captain Rogers!” Someone called from over by the truck. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Steve checked his watch. “Lieutenant Barnes, somehow I made it here a full five minutes before you did.”

“Aw, Steve, it’s a cat in a tree.”

“I told him we should get our hustle on for any call in your neighborhood, Cap,” another firefighter piped up.

“You should hustle for any call anywhere, come on, team” Steve’s voice got more commanding as he spoke with the members of the crew.

“Is that the cat’s owner?” another crew member piped up, gesturing at Peggy as she climbed down from the truck.

“I’m caring for her, yes,” Peggy replied.

The woman looked up at the tree and back at Peggy. “Would she let someone hold her if we got the ladder up there?”

Peggy considered. “She’s not great with new people.”

The firefighter nodded and looked back at Steve. “Cat bag.”

“Cat bag,” Steve agreed. “Ms. Carter here already got her down once, so I don’t think this one’s a jumper.”

The rest of the crew all exchanged looks, disbelief clear on their faces despite the truck’s flashing lights throwing strange shadows over the group. “Uh, what?” The handsome one Steve had called Barnes broke the awkward silence.

“I got her down,” Peggy explained. “Then your siren scared her and she went right back up.”

Another firefighter—also a handsome man, Peggy noticed—looked slowly between Peggy and the tree. “So if you didn’t have any trouble getting up there, then why …?” He squinted back at Peggy.

“She didn’t call this in, it must have been a neighbor.” Steve clapped his hands together. “All right, it’s cold out and I’m sure that cat wants to be warm inside, just like the rest of us. Who’s going up?”

“Not it,” both Barnes and the other one said at the same time.

“Wilson,” Barnes whined, “I got the last one.”

“Allergies, man. You’d have to dose me with Benadryl if you want me within five feet of a cat.” Wilson shrugged. “Sif, can you take this one?’

The female firefighter—yet again a very attractive person, statuesque with dark hair and big, dark eyes, Peggy was starting to wonder if the entire engine company put out a calendar every year—already had a burlap sack, which Peggy assumed was the cat bag, in her hands, along with a length of nylon rope and carabiners. She rolled her eyes at the other two. “Well, it’s not like Cap’s going to send Dum Dum up after her, is it?”

As if on cue, a fourth fire fighter stuck his head out of the truck’s door. “Everything okay out here?”

“Thanks for the help, Dugan!” Steve shouted back.

“Oh! Cap! Didn’t realize you were here!”

Steve waved him off and turned back to Sif. “You don’t want the ladder?”

Sif looked at the tree. “Nah, it’ll go faster and scare the cat less if I climb up. What’s her name?” The last part she addressed to Peggy.

“Liho.”

Sif nodded, put on some thick work gloves she produced from a pocket, clipped the cat bag to her belt and up she went.

“You know,” Peggy said, standing next to Steve as they watched Sif’s ascent, “if you lot hadn’t showed up I’d already be back in the house with the cat I’ve been entrusted to look after.”

She could hear the smile in his voice as he replied. “But then you wouldn’t have met me or my motley crew, and wouldn’t that have been a shame.”

Peggy eyed him speculatively and took a breath. “Jury’s still out. Perhaps you could buy me coffee sometime, Captain, as an apology for keeping me up so late. Give me more time to decide.” She felt brazen, hitting on a man who was there to do his work, but he wasn’t her neighbor, after all. And she was intrigued by this man, his apparent kindness, how he showed up even when his shift was over, not to mention the easy way he had with the people under his command. Captain Steve Rogers was the sort of man she wanted to get to know better. And, not to put too fine a point on it ... he was sexy.

Half his mouth quirked up in a self-conscious smile and he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Coffee, huh?” He looked at her, his ridiculously long eyelashes casting shadows on his face in the strange light. “Could we make it dinner? Tomorrow?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. “With the upcoming holidays, I’m going to be working ten days straight. Better to get it out of the way.”

“Oh.” Peggy’s spirits fell.

“No!” Steve backtracked, eyes wide. “That came out all wrong. That was me trying not to uh, sound too eager? Also, I’m tired, and one of my firefighters is up a tree, and you are a very attractive woman and you just asked me out and my brain might be short-circuiting right now?”

Peggy had to laugh at that. “Okay, okay, stop digging.”

“You have to forgive Cap,” Wilson said from behind them. “We don’t let him out much.”

“This may in fact be the first non-work conversation he’s had with a woman,” Barnes chimed in. “Sorry it was so bad. He’s terrible at flirting.”

Steve took the good-natured teasing in stride. “Watch it, you two,” he warned them, but there was only wry warmth in his tone as he shook his head.

“I agree, it was very lacklustre flirting,” Peggy said. “You’ll need to step up your game for dinner tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve replied, a broad smile on his face.

“Got her!” Sif called from above. “Coming down. Good job securing a date, Cap.”

Peggy had to agree with that, too.

#steggysecretsanta #steggy fic #geekynerddemon #steve rogers #peggy carter #my fic

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trifoliate-undergrowth · 4 years

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Jonah Magnus begrudgingly becomes a trans ally after putting himself in the wrong body “as a joke” and suffering

Concept: Dramatic Bastard Jonah “Hubris” Magnus decides to put his eyeballs in a female body for one of these bodyhops because he “thought it’d be fun” (and also perhaps make that snippy young librarian Gertrude stop commenting on the fact that the Institute has never had a female Head and that she feels it’s high time they got their heads out of the Dark Ages and stopped ignoring half the population) and it BACKFIRES HORRIBLY

(long post under the cut)

For one thing, half of his (actual, unstated) reasoning behind the switch was to spice up his third marriage with Peter, but Peter is Too Gay to Function(TM) and just takes one look at the new body and immediately books a year-long voyage to Siberia and leaves the country without so much as touching Jonah.

And then Jonah has to deal with having a female body to take care of and absolutely no idea how one works because despite serving the Watcher he is, also, Too Gay to Function(TM) and has not prioritized information on how to handle having a coochie. He didn’t think it would be a big deal. He was wrong.

See, up until now Jonah Magnus has always picked young, twink-ish bodies that have at least a superficial resemblance to the young Jonah Magnus, and has assumed that being able to adjust to the slight differences just fine and even enjoying the changes means that he’s immune to dysphoria.

Jonah Magnus is convinced that gender dysphoria is bullshit and that he’ll like a female body just fine because he wore drag once and had a fun time. Jonah Magnus has not thought this through. Jonah Magnus has not considered that “wearing drag as a man who enjoys being a man but also likes dresses” is actually different from “actually not being a man or comfortable in a man’s body”.

Jonah Magnus figures out the difference very quickly.

Jonah Magnus, King of Denial, writes it off as “needing to adjust to the new body” until he catches himself wishing he had that Leitner that makes you disappear bc he doesn’t want to be seen, or to have to see himself, in this body and he just wants it to disappear.

The first barista at Jonah’s favorite coffee shop to call him “ma’am” gets to watch a grown woman visibly flinch at being properly addressed and then rush out of the store. The barista then violently remembers something embarrassing that happened to her in high school, and spends the next week suffering from nightmares about her worst memories.

A man makes the mistake of catcalling some academic-looking librarian dame. She gives him a freezing look and suddenly he’s having violent flashbacks to all his worst experiences at once. He falls down on the street and has a nosebleed and eventually has to be picked up by the police and brought to a mental hospital because he’s raving like a lunatic.

Jonah “Cannot Admit I Made a Mistake” Magnus, still trying to convince himself this isn’t that bad actually, catches himself making a mental schedule for showering As Little As Socially Acceptable so he doesn’t have to see himself naked. Jonah Magnus is usually fastidiously clean, and can’t stand the feel of going more than two days without a shower. Jonah Magnus suddenly prefers that to seeing himself naked any more than necessary. Jonah Magnus finally admits that he made a mistake. Jonah Magnus is starting to understand what the words “gender dysphoria” and also “male privilege” mean and he’s hating every moment of it.

And then he forgets to take the birth control that this body was on and its period comes back with a vengeance and he does something he never does and calls Peter, screaming about how he’s LITERALLY DYING and Peter is like “you know women have periods right.”

“WHAT”

“Yeah they bleed every month”

“They WHAT?? EVERY MONTH???”

“...Jonah you serve the Eye. How do you not know basic human biology”

Jonah “Too Proud to Admit that the Information on Coochie is Buried Under Years and Years of Occult Secrets and Sexy Robert Smirke Moments” Magnus: “I KNOW!! I JUST--IT’S COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL THAT IT HURTS THIS MUCH”

“Yes”

“THIS CAN’T BE NORMAL”

“Yes it can”

“I’M DYING AND ALSO I’M STAINING ALL MY SHEETS THIS IS HORRIBLE”

“All of these are things I’ve heard my sisters say.”

“NO IT--wait really”

“They talked way too much. Really weren’t suited for Forsaken. I was so glad when they left. Partly because I was a squeamish little boy who really didn’t want to hear about their girl puberty issues any more”

“Hang on, I’m NOT dying?”

“Probably not. Do you have any painkillers? Get in a hot bath and wait it out.”

“HOW LONG???”

“Euuughgjs I dunno maybe like a week? Ask a woman”

“A WEEK?? WHAT?? I’M GOING TO DIE PETER I CAN’T ENDURE THIS FOR A WEEK”

“You.... didn’t think about this BEFORE you stole the body?”

“Y-YES OF COURSE I DID”

“Jonah Magnus, world’s greatest occultist and scholar, forgot to do his research?”

“THAT’S NOT IT, I JUST DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD BE THIS BAD,,, PETER YOU’RE LYING TO ME PETER PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE LYING I CAN’T TAKE A WEEK OF THIS PETER”

“I said I don’t know. A week sounds right but I could be totally wrong. Ask a woman.”

“I DON’T KNOW ANY WOMEN THAT I CAN ASK AWKWARD QUESTIONS OF”

“Go to the library”

“I CAN’T I’M IN PAIN AND BLEEDING ALL OVER EVERYTHING”

“Oh, yeah, there should be stuff for that. You’re in, uh, the former body’s apartment right? She’s probably got like, what are they called? Feminine pads?”

“WHAT? PETER I’M AN ADULT I’M NOT WEARING A DIAPER”

“Okay, have fun getting the bloodstains out of everything you own.”

“HOW DO WOMEN LIVE LIKE THIS”

“I don’t know. Rather impressive really.”

“FUCK”

He caves and goes to young Gertrude and is like “listen if you tell anyone this I’ll destroy your life but I’m actually an ancient bodyhopping bastard and this is my first time in a female body and I’m in hell please help me” and that’s how this Gertrude finds out who Jonah Magnus is

Elias Bouchard gets snagged for the next transfer because, yeah he’s kind of a weird pick for next Head of the Institute and people might talk but Jonah is Desperate at this point and Elias more or less fits his MO as far as physical traits go at least

Peter is so relieved to have A Husband when he gets back that he doesn’t even complain about Elias picking a blond just because he knows Peter doesn’t like it. And for once Elias didn’t even do it on purpose, he was just in a hurry to get out of the Hell Dysphoria Body and took the first option he saw.

The formerly-plagued-by-nightmares barista at Jonah’s favorite coffee shop stops seeing the increasingly depressed-looking woman who’d been coming in, but now there’s a nice young who smiles like the sun when she calls him Sir and it’s such a nice smile that she feels a deep sense of warmth and contentment and only thinks good thoughts for the rest of the day. She falls asleep content in the knowledge that all her friends love and appreciate her and that she makes the best coffee in London and for the next week she has pleasant, restful dreams that she can’t remember but that she wakes up from smiling.

Elias Bouchard quietly starts offering trans-inclusive health benefits to employees of the Magnus Institute. Martin Blackwood, Broke Trans Guy In Need of a Job, instantaneously appears on the doorstep.

#elias bastard bouchard #peter lukas #lonely eyes #gertrude robinson (briefly mentioned)#I love trans martin headcanons they're Good #joke post #long text post #the magnus archives #personal #alternate headcanon where Joanna Magnus was actually trans. but this was funnier #raise your hand if you would work for a shady paranormal archive that gave trans health benefits *slowly raises hand*

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thaddeusbroomfi-blog · 4 years

Text

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pastelcheckereddreams · 4 years

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"Toriyama: For the music that plays during the dance battle (between Cloud and Andrea) at the Honey Bee Inn I wanted the song titles to be in English that gives off a sexy imagery, where their romantic feelings gradually rise between them" Wait what. Is bisexual Cloud confirmed now? o,o

Sorry for the wait Anon! I got a bit sucked into this one. I’ve been trying to find a source for your quote, but I couldn’t find an interview where Toriyama speaks directly about the Honeybee Inn music. I could just yell about my feelings for bisexual Cloud until the end of time, but it’d be pure headcanon; I want to treat this with an analytical eye because Wall Market is such a well-developed area (and frankly deserves more a eloquent and deeper analysis than I can ever hope to give it).

One of the beautiful things about Wall Market, and the Honeybee Inn specifically, is its expression of values. It’s a space that champions queerness and sexual expression, gender fluidity and bodily desire. It’s taken on the mantle left for it by the original game, that of a seedy brothel or love hotel, and evolved into a space of empowerment and self-expression. I emphatically recommend reading this article on fanbyte, that speaks more about Andrea Rhodea’s vision and his role in Cloud’s character development.

To the quote in question: Andrea’s performances are, as one NPC Honeybee patron describes, an "entire philosophical manifesto". The Honeybee theme ‘Stand Up’ is part of this concept, celebrating self-acceptance and freedom of expression:

Stand up, cast your fears aside / Stand up, fill your soul with pride ... Strut your stuff, let them stare / Doesn't matter if you're different ... You can always dance with us

‘Funk with Me’, the dance battle song, echoes the same sentiment, but you can’t deny the suggestiveness of the title. Toriyama says he wanted the song titles to “give off a sexy imagery” that suggests romantic chemistry between Cloud and Andrea. I’m cautious of the lack of context I have for the translation, but you can’t deny the queer subtext of the entire scene and how Toriyama’s quote supports that reading. Combine that with Andrea’s talk of gender fluidity, of how “notions of gender don’t apply” to matters of the heart, and you can read this scene as inclusive of trans and nonbinary rights as well a potential bisexual or gay awakening in Cloud.

Of course the ‘romantic feelings’ between them could also refer, in a more overt sense, to the way Cloud is pulled in by the alluring and seductive energy of the songs, and opens up to the lesson Andrea is trying to teach him about following his heart. I need to do a lot more research and heavy thinking about this, but it seems to me that Wall Market offers Cloud (and us) the opportunity to really learn who he is and what he wants. I can’t remember the post, or who it was, but someone left me a really insightful comment about this very thing - Wall Market is a subversion of norms, allowing Cloud to explore himself without the pressure of gender stereotypes.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the different paths we might take through Wall Market - Chocobo Sam’s route, where ‘innocent’ Cloud is sent off to ‘become a man’ with its side-quests about femininity that can’t be tamed (A Dynamite Body) and the whole male-bonding experience with Johnny over The Sauce (The Party Never Stops), veiled with innuendo and references to homosexuality. Compare that to Madam M’s route, which unlocks by playing Cloud as shrewd and confident, not being suckered in to Sam’s toin coss and being comfortable enough with his own pleasure to pay for Madam M’s luxury massage (if still a little naive).

There’s so much more I’d like to figure out - how do these routes play into Cloud’s feelings towards Tifa and Aerith? What do Cloud’s dialogue options with Johnny say about himself? What do their quest routes tell us about the Trio, and Sam and Madam M’s relationship? What is Aerith’s experience of Wall Market? And this is to say nothing of the Don Corneo experience itself.

There is so much still to unpack about this chapter, and bisexual Cloud is just the tip of the iceberg.

#ask #anon #nikkiwrites #for the theory blog #ff7 remake #andrea rhodea #cloud strife #wall market #the honeybee inn #ff7r #ff7 remake spoilers #ff7r spoilers #ff7r chapter 9 #queer reading

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irenedonati · 4 years

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Why Wanlov the Kubolor's "Swim" is the most relevant piece of content we have experienced in Ghana in a while and why we should talk about it.

Wanlov The Kubolor, Ghanaian rapper, songwriter, producer, video maker, and performance artists recently released a new video and a song called “Swim."

I don't want to spend too much time talking about who decided, for instance, to report the content on Instagram because their susceptible soul was insulted by the nudity portrayed in the video. Can we blame people for not understanding? Or should we blame a system that keeps brainwashing people through religion and politics so they do their dirty job for them of silencing any voice that sounds too loud?

I realized that we shouldn't draw more attention to ignorance: as Eckhart Tolle says — “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” So I am not going to spend time strengthening ignorance; I will spend time on what deserves attention, strength, and power.

youtube

I have admired Wanlov's work for many years, way before we connected in real life, and now I am able to understand him more as well as explore his energy. I consider him a friend and an ally in the fight for human rights, especially LGBTQ and women’s rights.

I feel Wanlov’s work is becoming more profound and even more fascinating. I recently had some long conversations about him with a friend who is a performance artist. We started tracking analogies that helped me explore the beauty of Wanlov's work and message.

After days of research, thinking, and re-writing from different angles, I realized that we could compare Wanlov’s work to many performance artists who used their bodies to make political statements. I am not comparing to validate. Wanlov doesn't need validation. It is however quite interesting to realize that artists from very different backgrounds and circumstances have ended up using a similar form of expression for related messages or fights. Again, I am not comparing to validate but to show how far from mental freedom those who keep finding offense in a meaningful artistic expression are.

Even though it's an unusual type of performance I watch "Swim" and I think "SOMETIMES DOING SOMETHING POETIC CAN BECOME POLITICAL AND SOMETIMES DOING SOMETHING POLITICAL CAN BECOME POETIC," which is text from the inspiring work of Belgian artist Francis Alÿs and is a poignant description of "Swim".

"A compulsive wanderer, Francis Alÿs is known for his in-depth projects in a wide range of media including documentary film, painting, photography, performance, and video. Many of his works involve intense observation and recording of the social, cultural, and economic conditions of particular places, usually conceived during walks through urban areas".

Even though it's an entirely different performance, "Swim" is something poetic that can become political. It's also indeed political and still incredibly poetic: the statement of swimming naked in an ocean of plastic in a country that is very good at having politicians taking selfies with celebrities, but can't seem to solve fundamental issues like the filth on our streets and shores; to the tone of the voice pronouncing the lyrics; to the music.

I could stop here and you would already have enough to think about.

But I want to go deeper because Francis Alÿs performances are not directly comparable to Wanlov’s, if not by intention. Pushing an ice block through the streets of Mexico City until it melts might look extremely different from swimming naked in plastic or walking barefoot everywhere around the world, but is it that different?

Is Wanlov's use of his naked body different from Ana Mendieta's use of her nude body?

Ana Mendieta is a celebrated Cuban-born artist who used her body as a statement for her entire career. Body Art is an expression that has always forced "the audiences to partake in oftentimes violent, jarring, shocking, or unimaginable experience, asking its viewers to consider the role they were playing in the dark and uncomfortable spaces between innocent bystander and culpable voyeur."

Ana Mendieta started using her body to make statements about the political abuse of bodies of women and about rape. She used her naked body in contact with water, earth, and other natural elements (including blood) to express her pain and her rage and to denounce sexual abuse/violence.

Is it that different from what Wanlov keeps doing in the fight for women’s rights and gay rights?

The reason why we are disturbed or moved by naked bodies in a non-sexy or non-pornographic state is that they represent the vulnerability of human nature. And we don't want to be vulnerable because vulnerability is considered a "feminine or gay issue:" Naked men are supposed to send dick pics or show their sexual power ( the wrong way ).

Wanlov is swimming naked in a polluted ocean. Wanlov is making his body look more feminine with clothes and makeup to dissolve gender roles. Wanlov is not afraid to show his naked body in a non-sexual way. People will whisper: "He must be gay," or comment on social media “Stop being gay.”

Is he so different from artists like Ana Mendieta swimming naked in her "Ocean Bird" performance? And is Mendieta applying male facial hair on her face different from Wanlov using makeup and jewelry and clothes to deconstruct gender?

Untitled (Facial Hair Transplant), Ana Mendieta, 1972 Source: Galerie Lelong

Wanlov: backstage “Mr. Casanova” 2020 - Shooting in Madrid w/Alvar Alonso

The "vagina has always expanded opportunities to unravel the feminine mystique and multiple voices as a loud and reverberating denouncement of the traditional male gaze." But this was 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago when this work could simply not be produced by a man.

We have now learned that the intrinsic definition of gender is an issue. So can’t a man use his body to make a similar statement and, at the same time, help to protect the over-sexualization of female bodies, which is an unintentional consequence of some expressions of the feminist movement?

Can a vulnerable male body be leveling the playing field and help to break gender barriers? I have no doubt that Wanlov’s body is carrying a feminist message.

We are recently learning that a body is no more the expression of gender. Trans women and men have taught us that you can be born in a body and not be what that body supposedly represents. In this scenario, Wanlov's sexual life and orientation shouldn’t be the subject of the conversation.

Still, somebody always tries to make it the only part of the conversation so that we don't focus on the critical message.

I am even more keen to believe that Wanlov's work is genius and authentic because of his spontaneity and because, like many true artists, he does it because he feels it, not consciously thinking of all the layers that I am now deconstructing.

"Swim" is offending people because it's telling us in a raw and familiar way that we are bystanders and voyeurs in the destruction of the Ghanaian shores, nature, forests, and with them, the people, the cultures and the dignity of many human beings.

And so it's easy for people just to dumb him down as the weird guy who walks barefoot and without underwear and showed his penis on TV, so they convince themselves that he's not a great artist, but just a controversial lunatic. I find it funny (non-literal please) that we still think we have to use the adjective “controversial” to define artists. All artists should endeavor to be controversial enough to spark a conversation. Or should music artistes simply be “yes” people?

What about being barefoot as an artistic expression? Being barefoot, besides being part of almost all traditional cultures (definitely apart from the Inupiats), is a symbol of innocence and pure energetic exchange with the earth. There's a reason why saints, gurus, and spiritual leaders are usually portrayed barefoot.

And let’s not forget the children as well. I think Wanlov's inner child vibrates very high.

The same people who are offended by nudity will never understand that walking barefoot is not an action supposed to make them laugh. In a recent conversation with Wanlov, he randomly said something that almost blew me away and sparkled the idea of Wanlov being a Synesthetic artist.

Could it be that his walking barefoot and continuously experiencing the world with an uncovered part of his body is transferred in his art in a synesthetic way?

Are his music, poetry, performances result of sensations that travel through the constant contact of his skin with the earth?

Is he a sort of superhuman because he's been able to feel and experience the world in ways that we ordinary human beings cannot?

But being myself a believer of energy exchange with the Universe, I find an act of extreme courage the ability to allow yourself to feel so much, especially in a world where desensitization and detachment are a new way of surviving. Preservation at a maximum level is what is guiding individuals who hide behind ridiculous concepts of self-care and self-expression to justify any selfish and stupid act.

Is this form of body art telling us that our level of detaching ourselves from the Universe is indeed creating monsters and destroying human interconnections?

Is he so different from artists like Regina Jose Galindo and her work "Quien puede Borrar las huellas," in which she walks barefoot whit his feet soaking in blood to criticize Guatemalan violence coming from the misconception of morality and gender?

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Why is Wanlov's use of his body barefoot with makeup and female clothes and jewelry not awarded and glorified as the Galindo one at art Biennales, as the men who uses his body to criticize the abuse on women and members of the LGBTQ community in Ghana? Is it because he's not a woman? Is it because he's not gay? So he has to be considered funny or weird or crazy?

And I could write for another day if we decided to start talking about his music, his lyrics, and his music videos.

Because Wanlov comedy is Monty Python's deep. I hardly laugh for more than a couple of seconds, and, after a couple of seconds, I squeeze my face, and I think "sheeeit that was deep."

If I have to draw another parallelism, imagine Dave Chapelle barefoot, in a skirt, with makeup and jewelry sending low blows to politicians, religious leaders, foolish humans, and useless institutions.

And using Pidgin English to dignify a language that could unify the African population, being at the same time hilarious but extremely serious.

My point: you have not seen anyone like this. And that’s why the way this Ghanaian artist is underestimated is highly disturbing.

I wish we lived in a world where people had the chance to be more receptive to something different and not classified in categories created to make us feel comfortable.

Being attacked for saying truths people don't like to confront and not conforming to what I’m expected to say as a woman in the presence of men and “bosses" has cost me professionally and emotionally. I feel slightly deformed by the systematic punishment put in place via a very subtle system of oppression perpetrated equally by men and women. I had gone into hiding because I felt my courage and vocals chords shrink. So when I see a fellow human being with the courage to keep their voice loud and stay principled no matter what, I can't avoid feeling deep admiration, gratitude, and love.

Thank you Emmanuel Owusu Bonsu aka Wanlov the Kubolor. We need more people like you in the world, and we need more people in the world to know about you.

( Thank you, Guildor Gallo, for the conversation that inspired my words. http://guildor.com/ )

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mikeydoodledandy · 4 years

Text

The Box

I’ve decided to go ahead post this here too instead of just the link, as I’m very fond of this fic and was very excited to write some good, wholesome, sexy fun between the boys. No human AU here (though I do love my human AU for them), just a cryptid and his human boyfriend in the bedroom. Barclay’s still trans though.

So as you may have guessed, this fic is very NSFW below the cut, you’ve been warned. You can also read it on Ao3 here if you’d prefer that. Enjoy!

Joseph makes a few fun purchases and Barclay is more than willing to indulge him in testing them out.

“Alright, what’s in the box? You put it right in the middle of our dresser and you’re obviously trying to get me to ask about it, so I’ll bite.” Barclay chuckled, eyeing the package his boyfriend had oh so conspicuously set right where Barclay could see it when he’d come into their room that evening.

Joseph had gone about his usual evening business of getting out of his suit and having a shower while Barclay read on their bed, giving the box in question glances every time he re-entered the room. Finally, freshly donned in a t-shirt and sweats, he padded over to join Barclay on the bed, though he was sans glasses for some reason, appearing to be still wearing his contacts. Barclay finally had to ask when the agent gave the box one more look as he slid onto the mattress next to his partner.

“Was I being a little too obvious? Sorry, I’m just a bit excited and maybe a little embarrassed, so I thought it might be easier to get you to ask first.” Joseph blushed brightly, leaning in and kissing Barclay playfully. The sylph raised an eyebrow, a bemused expression on his face as he set his book aside and leaned into his partner’s kisses.

“Oh yeah? What’s so embarrassing about a box?” He cupped Joseph’s cheek, fingers brushing teasingly against the side of the man’s throat. Joseph looked away, biting his lip to hide a flustered smile. Barclay loved it when he did that; it was one of the first cute things he’d ever noticed Stern do, and he’d only discovered more and more things he loved about the man as they’d gotten closer.

“I may have... ordered some items for us to try out. They’re a bit experimental, but I thought they could be fun.” Joseph shrugged, Barclay raising an eyebrow again.

“Items, you say? Why do I get the feeling this a bit more intimate than your usual bigfoot merch you always buy?” The sylph mused, getting up and grabbing the box from the dresser. It had more weight than he was expecting, the man grabbing his pocket knife before bringing the package back over to their bed where Joseph was still sitting in anticipation.

“I’ll tell you now, I could have actually gotten their sasquatch model but I thought it was perhaps a little too on the nose.” Joseph mused, wiggling in closer as Barclay slit open the tape with his knife and opened up the box.

“Well, now you really have me curious.” It took him a minute to dig through the packing paper before he uncovered two smaller boxes within. One was something named Travus and he couldn’t really tell what it was supposed to be based on the image on the box, but the other was very obviously a giant multicolored dildo with a knot at the base. “Oh wow.”

“Goodness, it’s certainly more.. blatant than I expected.” Cheeks aflame, Stern covered his face with his hands in embarrassment, peeping out between his fingers. “I’m very glad I didn’t get the sasquatch one now.”

“Aw, that might be fun too. It’d be interesting to see just what humans think bigfoot dick looks like.” Barclay snickered, pulling out the dildo box and popping it open. Joseph reached over and grabbed the smaller box, opening it idly though he was obviously more focused on Barclay trying to shake his other purchase free from its packaging.

“Do you even know what that looks like?”

“I... hm.. I don’t actually. Never had the chance to be intimate with another sylph specifically like me, so I can only make assumptions.” Barclay shrugged, finally extracting the dildo from the plastic casing and wiggling it around in amusement. “Now this thing is a beast. We’re gonna have to really get you good and stretched, huh?”

“Yes, I suppose we will.” Joseph grinned, still blushing brightly. Barclay leaned over and kissed him softly, a gesture that the other man readily reciprocated. As their kisses warmed, Barclay idly batted away some of the empty packaging over onto the floor to get it off the bed, giving them more room. It wasn’t til they were both flushed and eager that Barclay pulled away, grinning like a mad fool.

“Well, at least now I know why you kept your contacts in.” He mused, kissing Joseph again as he slid his hand under his boyfriend’s shirt and across the plush skin of his hip.

“That’s not the only thing I’ve made sure I’m prepared for.” Joseph purred, the sheer sensuality of his implication sending shivers up Barclay’s spine.

His partner was fairly flustered and goofy when they had sex until you really got him going, which Barclay loved, but he definitely did know how to crook a sultry word in a way that got the sylph wet when he wanted to. Barclay slid his hand from Joseph’s hip to under the waistband of his sweats, giving his boyfriend’s ass a squeeze. The man had a great ass; the perfect size for Barclay’s big, warm hands.

“Oh, is that so? Now what could you have prepared just for me?” He chuckled as he began to lavish kisses against Joseph’s throat. The man let out a soft whine, tilting his head back to give Barclay full access. However, when Barclay moved in to get closer, he realized the small box Joseph had been opening was still in the man’s lap, distracting him. “..Hey, what is this thing anyway?”

“Hm? Oh.” Joseph blinked, a little dazed, before he realized what Barclay was talking about and looking down with him. “ This is something I got for you. The online store I got the dildo from had them and I’d never seen something specifically made for trans men before, so I thought I’d get it for you to try out. I hope that’s alright.”

“Specifically for trans guys, huh?” Barclay curiously pulled the toy out of the box, tossing the packaging off the side of the bed as well, his partner rolling his eyes. “What? We can pick them up later. I’m not gonna amble over to the trash while I’ve got my horny boyfriend right here.”

“We’re probably going to want to clean the toys before we use them anyway, love. Using something fresh out of the box is a good way to get an infection.”

“Ew. You’re right, but ew. I guess we do need the harness anyway.” Barclay scrunched up his nose before returning his attention to the smaller toy, the dildo set aside for the time being. It was cylindrical, blue and similar to a lot of mastrubation toys he’d seen for folks with dicks, but with the hole considerably smaller. He experimentally wiggled his index finger in the opening, noting the firm grip and suction it formed around his digit. “Huh, interesting. We’ll definitely have to give it a try once we get you good and dicked down.”

“Oh goodness Barclay, do you have to call it that.” Joseph tutted, but he was grinning, his blushing having made it to the tips of his ears.

“Pishaw, you love it.” Barclay smirked, leaning in again and kissing laughter to his boyfriend’s lips. They were awash in giggles and kisses, which ended with the sylph blowing a raspberry on Joseph’s throat and the agent squirming out of his grip from the ticklishness.

“You are an utterly ridiculous man, I hope you know that.” Joseph snickered, hoisting himself off the bed and beginning to clean up the packaging Barclay had discarded.

“Damn right I am. Life ain’t worth living if you can’t be a little bit ridiculous.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Stern before grabbing the two toys off the bed and starting towards their bathroom. “I’ll go wash these puppies off, can you grab the harness once you’re done with that? I get the feeling that getting this beast into it is gonna be a two person job.”

“Oh yes, I hope it actually fits with the knot. I didn’t think about that.”

“Eh, that’s what rubber o-rings are for. As long as this toy is silicone, we can just manhandle it in there.” Barclay started scrubbing down their new toys with a gentle soap, leaving the door open so he could still talk with Joseph. “So where did you find these anyway?”

“I believe the online shop was called Fantasticocks? They had quite a colorful selection, I had a hard time picking just one.”

“Never heard of them. How did you find th-” A realization dawned on Barclay, bringing cheeky amusement to his face. “Babe, did you find them because they specifically have a sasquatch model?”

“No! I- Well.. Maybe. It wasn’t with the intention of buying that model, I was just... you know.. curious to see what sort of designs might be out there and they just happened to be the first result. They had other toys I thought might be fun for us, so that’s what I got.” Joseph sounded suitably flustered, Barclay shaking his head fondly as he finished his scrubbing and rinsing.

“You’re adorable.” Retreating from the bathroom, Barclay found Joseph had cleaned up the floor and extracted Barclay’s more heavy-duty strapon harness from the dresser, as well as condoms and lube. They might only be using a toy and they’d been fluid-bonded for months now, but they’d just found condoms made everything a little more hygienic during cleanup. “I definitely wouldn’t be against getting a bigfoot dildo if you really wanna try it out. Maybe you can show me later.”

“Maybe.” Joseph fidgeted, bringing a smile to Barclay’s face as he picked up the harness, dildo in hand as he tried to figure out how they were gonna get it secured.

“So, got the chunky harness out, huh? Guess that makes sense for something as heavy as this thing, though that does kinda beg the question, did you uh..” Barclay lifted his wrist with his bracelet on it in Joseph’s direction, his partner having gotten back on their bed and was sitting warm at his back. “Were you hoping for this to be on or off? Considering this is the only harness I have that fits my true form.”

“Oh! Erm..” Joseph, rested his chin on Barclay’s shoulder, watching him roughly tug the dildo through the o-ring. “I just got it out due to the girth of the dildo, but it’s whatever you’re more comfortable with, love.”

“I always feel like I gotta be more gentle with you in my true form and this dildo doesn’t exactly give me the impression you want me to be gentle with it.” He frowned as the ring got stuck at the knot despite his pulling. He turned to face Joseph, holding the harness firmly, dick pointed towards the agent. “Hey, do me a favor and pull this as hard as you can.”

“Alright.” Joseph grabbed the rubber shaft, pulling it with all his might and a grunt. “I wish I could just tell you that- Ngh- you don’t have to hold back for me, but- There we go!”

The knot of the toy finally popped through the ring in their joint effort, waving lazily between them now that it was secure in the harness. Barclay chuckled softly, letting out a sigh. “Yeah, I think we both know I can’t do that though. I’m a lot stronger than you in that form no matter how you cut it and I could really hurt you if I went all out.”

“I know. It’s okay, Barclay.” Joseph cupped his boyfriend’s face, kissing him gently before pulling away with a shrug. “I don’t mind, but I feel like my being human deprives you of the pleasure you’d get from sex in your true form. You might have been better off with another sylph-”

“Nope, we’re not gonna start on that.” Barclay pressed a finger to Joseph’s lips, shaking his head before peppering the man with kisses. “I love you, Jo, and I don’t care that you’re human. Making sex a little complicated sometimes isn’t ever gonna be a good enough reason for me to not want to be with you. And I’m gonna kiss the notion right out of you until you finally believe me.”

“I love you too, Barclay. Some days I feel a little amazed by just how lucky I am. You’re everything I could have ever wanted.”

“What, because I’m bigfoot?”

“Because you’re the sweetest, kindest, funniest, most loving man I’ve ever met. And honestly? That means so much more to me than you being bigfoot. Crazy, I know, but it’s true. I came to Kepler on a hunt for a cryptid, but found who I actually needed in my life instead.”

“Who also happened to be bigfoot.”

“Who, also happened to be bigfoot, yes. But I think if you had been human and just an ordinary chef at an ordinary lodge, I would have likely fallen for you all the same.”

“Aw, babe, you’re gonna make me cry, in front of the dildo and everything.” Barclay wrapped Joseph up in his arms and kissed him soundly, the harness squished between them. Their embrace was soft and sweet and full of gratitude; warm intimacy that went beyond simple sexual yearnings.

Barclay slid his fingers under Joseph’s shirt again, squeezing his hips as the agent’s kisses grew more heated. Moving the toy and harness for the time being, Barclay leaned back, pulling Joseph on top of him as their kissing deepened, his boyfriend also working his hands under Barclay’s top.

While the sylph liked to tease his partner from under the fabric of his clothes, Joseph was always far more eager to disrobe his lover. He pushed Barclay’s shirt up to his armpits, Barclay lifting his arms so he could wiggle out of the rest of it, leaving him bare chested. Joseph happily ran his fingers through Barclay’s chest hair at the first opportunity before kissing the other man again, Barclay humming in response.

"Man, you always love that fuzzy chest action, don't you," Barclay teased as Joseph kissed his scars reverently. They'd had the talk early on regarding the do's and don't of what they were comfortable with and his boyfriend knew attention to his top surgery scars were validating and a little arousing for him, even if he couldn’t really feel the sensation there.

"I am fond of it, yes. It's a pleasing texture and you obviously enjoy the attention."

"I do. You got me there."

It didn't take long for Joseph’s reaction to all their touching to become very apparent in his sweats, Barclay smirking and pressing his thigh up against his lover’s groin in response. Joseph bit his lip, rubbing himself against Barclay with a soft groan as Barclay turned the attention of his mouth to Joseph’s throat.

They divested Joseph of his shirt soon after, bodies warm against each other as they fondled and pet their partners in the dance of foreplay. The sweats and pajama pants were quick to follow their kin to the floor, leaving them both men naked in a crush of limbs, hungry touches, and needy kisses to whatever skin they could find.

Joseph’s length pressed heavily against Barclay’s hip as the agent kissed him passionately, fingers tangled in the sylph’s long hair. His skin was dusted with pink and he always made the best noises when he was enjoying something, like Barclay kneading his ass in a way that stretched him just right.

It had taken the man so long to not try to hide his little cries of pleasure and Barclay was proud of how far he’d come and how comfortable he was now. He might blush and fuss, but it was a far cry from the Joseph who went on lockdown when they’d first dipped their toes into sexual intimacy.

Barclay finished working a mark on Joseph’s collar bone, examining it with pride before groping for the lube bottle on their bed. “What do you think, time to get you loosened up?”

“I'm more than a little eager to get going, but are you sure you don’t want me to take care of you first his time?" Joseph asked, settling on top of Barclay as the sylph lubed up his fingers.

“You know how sleepy I get after I cum, babe. If you did me first, I’d fall asleep on you mid-fuck, and nobody wants that.”

“Fine, fine, but I always feel a little guilty that you always attend to me first.”

“Just makes me hotter and wetter for when you do get me off, Jo. Hell, the noises and faces you make alone are almost enough to make me cum.” Barclay smirked, brushing the slick pad of his index finger against his boyfriend’s tight hole.

“Oh you flatter me- Ah!” It wasn't the best position to stretch Joseph that deeply, but getting to see his boyfriend’s face as he pressed a lubed digit into him was one of his favorite indulgences. Joseph had prepped himself in the shower, so he was a little loose already, but a far cry from the stretching he would need to take their new toy.

The man whined keenly as Barclay worked his fingers in one at a time, nails lightly digging into Barclay’s chest as his eyelids fluttered. It took everything in Barclay’s power to actually focus on what he was doing, rhythmically thrusting as he loosened Joseph as best he could from this angle, his partner rocking his hard length against his thigh.

“Alright, I know you love humping my leg at the same time, I’m gonna need to go deeper if we don’t want this bad boy to hurt like something fierce, so scooch.” Barclay smirked as he nudged Joseph off of him, the agent pouting but flopping over onto the bed on his belly, ass in the air.

“I wouldn’t call it humping . I’m not a dog. I just.. get a little carried away,” Joseph huffed.

The sylph smirked, giving his rump cheeky smack and earning a pleased whimper from Stern before he re-lubed his fingers and pressed into Joseph once more. Barclay peppered kisses along his partner’s spine as he worked, feeling the man’s muscles loosen under his touch. His large fingers were always enough to make his boyfriend squirm in the best of ways, Joseph pushing back against him with soft, breathy gasps.

“Careful now, I’m always happy to finger you until you cum, but I was under the impression you wanted to try this new toy.”

“If your hands weren’t so fantastic, I wouldn’t... nh.. have to worry about the risk of cumming early.” Joseph lamented between soft gasps, Barclay snorting.

“Are you saying you wish I was worse at fingerfucking you?” He mused, sliding three of his fingers all the way inside of Stern and pulling a particularly throaty moan from his partner’s lips.

“No, never.. Fuck, Barclay.” He rolled his hips back as the sylph stretched him open, Barclay feeling cheeky.

“I thought we were fucking you first.”

“Love, I will hit you with this pillow if you don’t stop cracking jokes and fuck me into the mattress this instant.”

“Oh man, someone’s roaring to go. Shoulda put the harness on first, hold on a sec.” Barclay pulled his fingers from Joseph’s body, wiping them on the sheets before rolling over on his back and trying to tug the harness on as fast as he could. It got tangled, because of course it did, Joseph watching with flushed amusement. “Fuck, why are these things so awkward..”

“Here, let me help.”

In a joint effort, they got Barclay secured into his strapon, multicolored dick sticking straight up on his lap. Joseph wet his lips as he eyed its girth, Barclay holding it at its base and wiggling it playfully.

“So how do you want to do this, babe?”

“Well, you’re certainly in a good position for me to ride you, now aren’t you?” Joseph pointed out, grabbing the condoms and the bottle of lube for himself. He deftly opened up the wrapping, rolling the rubber onto the shaft before lubing it up.

Sometimes Barclay felt a pang of wistfulness wishing he could actually feel what the man was doing, but that was a train of thought he tended to avoid following as engaging it led to a rather uncomfortable vein of dysphoria. He was overall fine with his genital arrangement once he’d actually figured out what he liked and was comfortable with, but he had his days sometimes.

Today was not a day he wanted to go down that particular rabbit hole, however, especially with the knowledge that his partner would be taking good care of him afterwards. Joseph was so rarely one to disappoint. The things he could do with his hands and mouth were fantastic.

He was thankfully brought back to the present as his boyfriend straddled his lap, positioning himself above the lazily bobbing dildo. Barclay held it steady as Joseph lowered himself onto the cock, letting out breathy pants as he did, a hand on Barclay’s chest.

However, he only made it about halfway down before he stopped with a sharp yelp at a thick part of the dildo, quickly pulling himself off with a grimace.

“What’s wrong? Not good?” Worry flitted across Barclay’s face as he sat up, cupping Joseph’s face in concern. Joseph shook his head, pressing his forehead to his lover’s shoulder.

“Sorry... too much, too quick. Burns. Give me a moment.” He took a few deep breaths and swallowed thickly as Barclay stoked his back, wondering if they should stop. “Alright, I’m good. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay.” Barclay murmured, meeting Joseph’s eyes as he held him. “Do you want to keep going, or no?”

“Oh, keep going for sure. Barclay, I’m fine, I promise. I just got a little overeager.” He flushed, nuzzling Barclay’s throat. “You’re sweet to worry though.”

“How about a different position then? Something where gravity is less of a third party involved.” The sylph suggested, still concerned. He knew Joseph was fine, but things like this always made him anxious. Even in this form, he was always worried he was going to break Joseph somehow, even if it wasn’t realistically something he needed to worry about.

“I can agree to that, what did you have in mind?” Joseph nodded, gently petting Barclay’s beard. Barclay could tell the agent had noticed his partner’s anxiety and felt a little guilty about it, but was relieved that Joseph was alright and also willing to try something gentler. He hoped he could get over this anxiety for Joseph’s sake as they got more comfortable moving forward, but he wasn’t quite there yet.

“Hm. Here, I have an idea. Roll on your side.”

“Alright.”

Joseph lay on his side on the bed, getting comfortable with a soft sigh. Barclay brushed his fingers along the curve of his partner’s body before resting it on Joseph’s hip and pressing himself close. No doubt Joseph was able to feel the large length of the dildo resting against his ass if the shudder that quivered through his body was anything to go by. “I bet you see where I’m going with this.”

“I do,” Stern replied with barely a whisper, putting his hand on Barclay’s. “And I’m liking the direction.”

“Sure hope so. All the deep penetration of riding without having gravity to contend with. Alright, here we go.” Barclay smirked, reapplying a dollop of lube and lining the toy up with his partner’s hole once more. Stern whined as he slowly pushed the head passed the ring of muscles, the agent gripping the sheets. “Good?”

“Yes, now move. Please. ”

“Yessir.” The sylph chuckled, beginning a steady thrust. He started shallow, working the toy a little deeper into his partner with each go. Joseph leaned his head back against Barclay’s chest, lips parted in pleasure as the other man started fucking his boyfriend in earnest. He didn’t go past the knot yet, saving that for when Joseph was more thoroughly fucked and loose enough to take it.

“Mh, perfect...” His boyfriend mumbled, a pleased and flustered expression on his face as Barclay really got going, his fingers curling into the sheets. The sylph kissed his throat, sliding his hand over the man’s hip and grasping his cock. Joseph shivered again, bucking up into his lover’s touch.

They got into a comfortable rhythm, Barclay making a challenge for himself to see just what sort of noises he could pull out of the other man. Joseph was panting and rocking between the cock in his ass and Barclay’s hand, his skin damp and warm with pleasure as his partner met his movements. He was a picture of exquisiteness, wrapped in the passion of tender love, the sight of which got Barclay throbbing with want.

“Damn, you’re gorgeous,” He praised, tone husky with arousal as he picked up his pace. He could just barely feel his erect clit rubbing against the harness, the sylph trying to press himself against it to try to get some much-wanted friction.

They had yet to find something that could adequately get them both off at the same time while Barclay pegged Joseph, but it wasn’t like he got nothing out of it. Joseph was ravishing like this and Barclay adored making him feel good, even with the disconnect. Joseph never went without returning the attention in full, so he could hardly be bitter.

“Faster. Fuck Barclay, please ,” Joseph whined, toes curling against their bedding. Barclay adjusted his angle before proceeding, his thrusts growing quicker and more erratic. That must have hit Joseph’s prostate head-on, because the man let out a long and quavering moan, loving every moment.

Barclay was glad their room was far away from the other residents that Joseph could feel comfortable letting out such cries of pleasure without alerting their neighbors of just what they were doing. The sylph adored his partner getting to let go and enjoy himself.

As he pressed kisses to Joseph’s shoulders and neck, the man let out another series of shuddering gasps, body tensing under his partner’s touch. He murmured incoherent praise as he was pulled closer to orgasm, thrusting his hips more desperately.

“Barclay, I’m.. I need.. Fuck.. ”

“What do you need, Jo?”

“Close. I want.. Knot. I’m ready for the knot.”

“Yeah? Okay.” Barclay nodded, nibbling his boyfriend’s ear as he began thrusting deeper.

Joseph’s body resisted the large bulge at the base of the toy at first, but Barclay quickly found the lube bottle and awkwardly squelched a bit more on the cock, dribbling some of it onto the sheets. Neither of them cared though, too preoccupied as the sylph began putting more strength behind his thrusts, reminding himself that Joseph could handle his human form just fine and wanted this.

His partner’s moans grew more needy and his fingers dug more tightly into the mattress as he got closer, pressing his head back firmly against Barclay’s chest in a fevered attempt to ground himself in his pleasure. The sylph, recognizing just how close Joseph was, gave the toy a final snap of his hips and popped the knot inside Joseph with one deep thrust.

The agent cried out, eyes screwed shut and lips parted as he embraced his body’s quake of bliss. His muscles tensed under Barclay’s touch for half a moment before he met release, cock throbbing in the sylph’s hand as he came, no doubt clenching hard around the girth of the knot in his ass. Barclay held him close through his orgasm, thrusting through it and murmuring praise as he gave the love of his life an anchor in his ecstasy.

“Barclay...”

“I’ve got you, babe. I’ve got you.”

“Fuck..”

Finally, the throes of passion released Joseph, his body relaxing against Barclay’s as he let out a pleased sigh. The sylph wiped his hand off on the sheets before gently rubbing circles his partner’s hip and thigh with a soft smirk.

“So... what kind of review does the toy get then?”

“Mmmh... fantastic, loved it, would get fucked by it again.” Joseph hummed, shifting so he could look up at Barclay’s face. He had a flushed and dreamy expression that the sylph couldn’t help but kiss. “Provided, of course, that it’s attached to my wonderful boyfriend.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.” He mused, careful not to jostle the toy much while the knot was still firmly lodged in his lover’s backside. Joseph smiled and kissed Barclay again, the pair taking a tender moment in Joseph’s afterglow.

“Mmh.. I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too, Jo. I love that I can make you feel good like this.”

“You’re very good at it.” Joseph grinned, stroking Barclay’s beard and stealing another kiss. After a moment, however, the agent gingerly shifted his hips with a small wince.

“Alright, I think I’m ready for this toy to be out of me, I’m getting a little oversensitive.”

“Can do, babe. Gonna go nice and gentle.” Barclay carefully pulled the toy from Joseph’s body as the man bit his lip, his loose hole twitching salaciously as the cock slipped free. Barclay growled softly in the back of his throat, pulling the man into his arms and pressing his nose against Joseph’s throat. “Mmmn.. You do things to me, you know that? Your body, your noises, the faces you make.. I love all of it.”

“I’m glad. It’s gratifying to know I get a big, burly cryptid such as yourself hot and bothered,” Joseph teased, twisting in Barclay’s arms to face the man and kissing him eagerly. He reached down, loosening the harness enough that he could slide his hand under it and rub the pads of his fingers against Barclay’s hard clit. “Which I do believe it’s time I return the favor, isn’t it.”

“ Fuck , yeah.” The sylph’s breath caught, a soft rumble growing in his chest as his boyfriend teased his clit. He rocked his hips a few times, enjoying the closeness until finally pulling away as the harness started to pinch. “Just.. gotta get out of this thing first.”

“Of course. Let’s see if I can figure out how this thing works.” Joseph let Barclay peel away, the bigger man kicking out of the strapon and peeling off the used condom to discard later as the agent picked up the smaller toy he’d gotten his partner.

He wiggled his finger experimentally in the hole like Barclay had, turning it over in his hands before he grabbed the bottle of lube again, squirting a few dabs into it. Putting his finger in the hole again, it made an amusing squelching noise, the two of them snickering as the sylph kissed his partner’s neck.

“Well, what’s the verdict?”

“I think I should be able to line this up, but I’m worried it might not be ideal for me to be holding it. It is a mastrubatory toy.”

“Well, it’s worth a shot. If we can’t turn it into a couple’s thing, I’ll just use it during your next trip to DC and think of you fondly.”

“Good to know it’ll have some use then regardless. And you know you’re always free to pleasure yourself without me involved, even if I am here,” Joseph reminded him, kissing the corner of Barclay’s mouth.

“I can, and do, I’m just being cheeky,” Barclay snickered, pushing himself back against the headboard and spreading his legs for Stern.

Joseph wet his lips, shimmying up to his lover on his hands and knees. He kissed Barclay softly, reaching down and finding the man’s clit once more, giving it more attention to get it to stand good and erect for him. Barclay gasped against his lips, color filling to his cheeks as Joseph spread him open so he could position the toy on his erection.

“How’s this?” Joseph pressed the hole down on Barclay’s clit, forming a suction that made the other man shudder, the sylph letting out a soft gasp.

“Good, it’s on there. Now try moving it.”

Joseph nodded, awkwardly trying to thrust the toy on his lover, but after a few attempts, it seemed like his prediction was right. It felt nice, but the awkward jostling took away from most of the pleasure. The agent frowned. “Judging from your expression, this isn’t doing much for you.”

“Yeah, not really. Here, lemme try.” He grasped it himself, Joseph letting go, and gave it a few pumps, shuddering with a few jolts of pleasure. “Nnh.. yeah it’s definitely more of a solo thing. Feels good though. That said, I don’t wanna just sit here and have you watch me jack off.”

“No, I’d prefer if you didn’t do all the work either.” The agent sighed, gently taking the toy and putting it to the side before giving Barclay a devious smile. “Besides, why simulate someone sucking you off, when there’s someone who will happily do the real thing?”

“You make a good point,” Barclay chuckled, kissing his boyfriend again. If there was one thing he always enjoyed, it was Joseph’s mouth down between his legs.

“Actually...” Joseph bit his lip, his hand sliding down to Barclay’s arm where his bracelet hugged his wrist. “Are you comfortable with my doing it in your true form tonight? I’m admittedly a little disappointed that the toy isn’t something we could share, especially after you’ve made me feel so good, so I was hoping I could show some love to your true self. But only if you’re alright with it of course.”

“Oh.. uh..” Barclay swallowed, anxious excitement bubbling in his chest. They’d only made love with Barclay in his real body a handful of times, half of which had been cut short by the sylph’s fear of hurting his human partner.

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it, quite the contrary, he just got so scared of their difference in size and power that it got to him. Even humanoid sylphs were more sturdy than humans were and he was still struggling a lot with the mental roadblock of what could happen if he got too carried away. Joseph was always understanding of his distress however, supportive and kind no matter what.

That said, he also adored Barclay’s true form and made sure the sylph knew it. Barclay had originally been worried his body would disgust his partner, but Joseph was never anything but elated to embrace Barclay’s real identity, fur and all. He supposed that shouldn’t be a surprise from someone who was so interested in bigfoot well before he actually met the real one, but it was touching.

“That’s a lot of fur to wade through just to eat me out.” Barclay mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking away. However, Joseph’s hands came softly to his face, bringing his eyes back to his boyfriend’s.

“And well worth every moment of it to make you feel good, Barclay. I understand your worry when you’re pegging me, there’s a lot of muscle behind those thrusts that you get scared you can’t control. I think you could, but I understand and I would never force you to try anything you aren’t comfortable with.” Joseph told him calmly, an understanding smile on his face. “Let me give you this, though. You’re not going to hurt me like this and it’s something I want to provide. I love you in every shape and form and I want to show you that.”

“I...” Barclay felt a deep love for the man in his lap in that moment, the man with the kind of tenderness in his eyes that Barclay never thought he’d get to have. He leaned in and kissed Joseph gently before holding out his wrist, offering his partner his bracelet. “Okay.”

Joseph nodded, rubbing his thumb against Barclay’s cheek before reverently taking the clasp between his fingers. Giving Barclay one more soft look, he popped it open and let the bracelet fall free.

The bed creaked at the sudden change in weight of one of its occupants, but it would hold just fine. This was Barclay’s bed after all, it was made to hold his true size.

The sylph smiled sheepishly down at his human lover, who smiled right back, running his fingers through the fur of Barclay’s chest. And then they were kissing again, something Joseph had never shown any sign of being deterred by despite Barclay’s considerably larger teeth and mouth.

Barclay worried, he always did, but slowly but surely Joseph had proven time and time again that what form the sylph was in didn’t matter to him. His body language and attraction never changed from one shape to the other and he engaged Barclay just as eagerly regardless.

“Now, let’s get you taken care of, yes?” Joseph hummed, their bodies warm again after their little aside. Barclay nodded absently, distracted as his partner slide down his large and shaggy form.

His fingers always felt so nice in his auburn fur. Actually, his hands were just nice in general. Joseph’s long and slender fingers had been the source of many idle fantasies before they’d gotten together, and knowing them for real still felt a bit like a very good dream sometimes.

Barclay shifted his weight to give Joseph better access between his legs again, the man parting his dense fur around his groin. It was thick enough that he didn’t have to wear pants, but his boyfriend didn’t seem to mind.

The change in form had done nothing to ebb Barclay’s arousal, his now considerably larger clit stranding erect from his folds. He had to admit, he enjoyed just how much size his true form lent to his clit. In his human disguise, it was about the size of Joseph’s thumb, but in his sylph form, it was much closer to that of a human cock.

The agent wet his lips, glancing up at Barclay’s face once more before wrapping his lips around the sylph’s clit, pleasure rippling through the cryptid as the man began his ministrations. Joseph’s mouth was always magic in a way that Barclay was a little envious he couldn’t replicate himself.

Joseph’s tongue lathed over Barclay’s length, pulling a rumbling moan from his chest as he leaned his head back. It only took a few passes to get Barclay slicked up, his heart-rate spiking as Joseph began bobbing his head rhythmically along the shaft.

“Fuck, Jo... you’re always so good at that...” He sighed, not sure what to do with his hands. He decided to stretch his arms out, resting his wrists on the backboard above his head as he enjoyed the view of Joseph swallowing his clit. The agent was quite the sight, attentive as he watched to see if Barclay was enjoying it, his cheeks dusted with pink as he ran his fingers through the fur of Barclay’s thighs.

Barclay’s clit throbbed in the man’s mouth, the sylph groaning as his partner did something with his tongue he couldn’t even describe. He panted softly, wondering how long he could keep himself from tangling his hands in the sheets or Joseph’s hair. His partner picked up the pace, earning him another moan.

He’d have to be careful. While they were out of hearing range for Joseph’s cries of pleasure, Barclay could very well shake the walls with his voice in this form if he didn’t show some restraint. He and Jo had been considering getting a place to themselves, which would give them the perk of not worrying who heard them, but Barclay wasn’t sure he was ready to leave the lodge just yet. Maybe though.

Joseph patted his leg, getting his attention before he popped off his erection, his expression sultry and coy. “Are you in the mood for anything inside you, love? Or would you like me to keep going as is?”

“Oh uh... Nh.. fuck , Jo..” Barclay didn’t get an answer out as Joseph licked a stripe across his clit, making him shudder with a gasp. “Shit uh.. Sure. A little something in me might be nice. Maybe some fingers. Vag is fine, I didn’t clean out like you did.”

Alright.” Joseph grinned, returning his attention back on Barclay’s clit as he patted around for the lube bottle. After a few attempts of not finding it blindly, Barclay chuckled and handed it to him, the agent snorting softly before lubing up his fingers.

Gently, he slid three digits inside his partner, Barclay moaning appreciatively. Penetration was a take it or leave it kind of thing for Barclay; he couldn’t really cum from penetration alone, but it was a nice addition to attention to his clit when he was feeling up for it. He was a pretty roomy guy, especially in his true form, so he didn’t get a lot of friction from it, but having something to clench around while Joseph did amazing things with his mouth was always a nice bonus.

His boyfriend crooked his fingers up into a nice place and then began to hum against his shaft in a way that always drove Barclay wild. It was amazing in his human form and even more so in his real body. The sylph rocked his hips into Joseph’s mouth, letting out a breathy, rumbling moan.

His hands finally dropped, Barclay reaching out to put a hand on Joseph’s head before remembering himself, his large palm falling short on his thigh. He didn’t want to accidentally grip Joseph too hard, especially when he came.

His boyfriend noticed however, sighing through his nose before carefully reaching up with his free hand and taking Barclay’s, intertwining their fingers. Barclay’s hand dwarfed Joseph’s to an almost hilarious degree, but the gesture was sweet, the sylph giving his partner’s fingers a gentle squeeze.

However, he was distracted from his worries once more as Joseph hollowed his cheeks, ramping up the suction on his clit.

“Fuck babe... You’re gonna get me gone quick if you keep this up,” He groaned, Joseph smirking around him and giving him a few nice thrusts with his fingers. Barclay was rocking his hips in earnest now as his lover took care of him, pleasure rippling through him. His fur prickled as the desperation for release grew, the sylph recalling the moans he’d brought to Joseph’s lips just before this.

The way Joseph reacted under his touch and called out his name in his ecstasy, how he cared so much and always wanted Barclay to be comfortable, the love and passion he always found in his eyes, and the face he made as Barclay brought him to climax. Barclay had been telling the truth when he’d said all that Joseph did in bed was almost enough to make him cum from that alone, so remembering that while his boyfriend’s mouth was around his clit was about what did him in.

Feeling the heat in his belly grow, sharp and hungry and wanting, Barclay pressed the back of his hand over mouth to muffle his cry as that tension rose to the surface of his skin. Joseph responded to his lover’s body by thrusting his knuckles into Barclay's wet, warm heat and humming keenly around the sylph’s clit, throwing his partner over the edge.

Barclay’s whole body shuddered, the sylph groaning deep and low against his hand as his large feet curled into the mattress. His fur stood on end the ripples rolled through him, body clenching around Joseph’s hand inside him as his clit throbbed.

Joseph rocked up to hold him as orgasm gripped him, Barclay pressing his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder. Joseph stroked his fur as Barclay rode through it until finally the warm bliss of release settled over him, calming the shockwaves. The sylph sighed, nuzzling his partner’s neck.

“Mmh... That was.. Damn...” He mumbled, the post-coitus haze taking hold. The agent chuckled, kissing the side of Barclay’s face.

“Good, I take it then.”

“Mhm... Real good.. Crazy good.”

“Good.” Joseph smiled, running his fingers across Barclay’s chest. “You’re awfully warm.”

“Mh... Overheating a little I think,” Barclay replied, blinking a few times. He was very hot now that he thought about it.

“Ah. Would you like your bracelet back on?”

“Please.”

Joseph nodded again, locating Barclay’s disguise and carefully latching it back around the sylph’s wrist. Gone was the fur and large form, replaced by a very sweaty, very flushed human one. Barclay grinned, falling back into Joseph’s arms.

The agent kissed his neck as Barclay languished in the afterglow before he shifted to take his contacts out, placing them in their container on their bedside table before settling back in with Barclay. The sylph smiled softly, flopping back on the bed, Joseph following suit.

“Hey... I love you, Joseph. I know I keep saying it, but I do. Dunno what I did to deserve a guy like you,”’ he murmured, tracing his fingers along the man’s sweat-damp skin. They were both sticky and properly fucked out now, the pair sprawling out on their bed in a lazy, contented pile. Joseph ran his fingers through Barclay’s long, loose hair behind his ear, rubbing his thumb against the man’s cheek.

“Everyday I find myself thinking the same thing about you, Barclay. So many things could have prevented us from having this, but they didn’t and I’ve never been more grateful.”

“Man, we’re such lovestuck fools, aren’t we?” Barclay grinned as he pulled his lover onto his chest, Joseph getting comfortable and leaning his head on the other man’s shoulder.

“Mh, yes, but I think it’s well deserved. We’re sort of an odd love story, I think we deserve some giddy happiness now that we’ve made it this far,” Joseph hummed, Barclay getting sleepy from listening to the rhythm of his breathing.

“Yeah. That’s a really good way to put it.”

“I’m glad it’s you I get to share my nights with. And everything else in between too.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Barclay smilled, kissing the top of Joseph’s head. “I’m glad we can have fun like this and try new things and laugh and make messes and talk about stuff. I never really realized just how important that is until lately.”

“I didn’t either. But I’m thankful I get to do it with you. Speaking of messes...” Joseph craned his neck, glancing at the sheets. “We do have a bit of one to clean up.”

“Eh, it can wait until morning. Or at least til 2am when we’ll both wake up sticky and gross and huddle in the shower together, then drag all the sheets off and nap on the comforter until it’s time to really wake up.”

“Are we really that predictable?”

“Yeah, but I love that. I love that we can just have... normal dumb things we do together.”

“Yes.. me too. Mess aside, I suppose I am getting rather tired.” Joseph smiled, shaking his head as Barlcay yawned, the sylph blinking sleepily.

“I’m always sleepy after a good fuck.”

“Yes, I know, it’s adorable.” Joseph leaned up, kissing Barclay softly, which Barclay returned just as tenderly, closing his eyes as his beloved settled back down on his chest. “Sleep well, Barclay. I love you. Thank you for indulging me tonight.”

“Always. I love trying stuff with you. Goodnight babe, I love you too.”

And, thoroughly satisfied from their little adventure, the two men drifted off in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth and love they shared. A love that, though each passing day, only grew stronger.

#sternclay #joseph stern #taz barclay #agent stern

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sugurushimura · 5 years

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Could you do a headcannon of the yotsu's views on women? If its not too difficult for you.( Not that we both don't already have an idea of what to expect from this headcanon)

haha, yeah, we do have an idea for some of them - but there definitely is some wiggle room for headcanons here, for some more than others.

first of all, the only interaction we get between the yotsus as a whole and women are the model scene and misa’s interview. there’s also higuchi and misa’s date. other than that, the only time any of them even mention a woman other than misa is a brief mention of a rival’s mistress in their introduction chapter, and higuchi saying that he misses his ex in the anime. that’s pretty limiting. this is going to get a bit long, so i’m slapping the rest under a cut!

during the model scene, we can kind of divide the yotsus into “sleazy” and “not sleazy”. namikawa, mido, shimura, kida, and hatori don’t really go out of their way to talk to anyone; kida and hatori are married, so it makes sense that they’re not too interested in skimpily-dressed young women. mido and shimura talk to the models but don’t seem nearly as interested as some of the others, and some dialogue from the prior scene implies that they’re only going along with this to keep an eye on matsuda. then there’s namikawa, who just kind of… stares uninterestedly out the window.

we’ll get back to those guys later; the ones that really stand out during this scene are higuchi and takahashi, who just go the fuck to town. they both are very obviously interested in misa, and the way that takahashi reminds higuchi to share definitely does feel like… you know. some high-key objectification there. they get pretty physical with at least a couple of women each, and takahashi, damningly, is married. and he has a child, no less! both of them are noticeably drunk here, so it’s might not be representative of how they normally behave - takahashi definitely isn’t normally bold enough to tell higuchi what to do - but it’s at least a big ole red flag that they probably view (attractive) women as primarily objects to get saucy with. it’s not like they say or do anything violently misogynistic, but is there some bias there? yes. very obviously.

(i do want to say that i headcanon that takahashi and his wife are in the process of separating, but this isn’t implied in canon anywhere and it doesn’t change the fact that he’s kind of sexist.)

ooi is kind of in the middle here. we see him getting very close to one of the models, but he only ever stays with one, and doesn’t say anything as iffy as takahashi or higuchi do; the only dialogue we hear between them is ooi talking about how great and awesome yotsuba is. is he about to offer to be her sugar daddy? possibly. is he also probably more on the “hot woman = sexy time” side of the spectrum here? yeah, i’d say so. it isn’t quite as overt as the other two, but yeah, there’s some bias there.

also notably, misa states that three of the men interviewing her asked for her number. we know that one of them is higuchi, so two out of ooi, mido, and shimura asked for her number, too. one of them was probably ooi. the third one is… harder to figure out, because neither mido or shimura really seem interested in her outside of the kira thing. since the next time we see shimura he’s trying to incite the other yotsus to bring down kira, you could headcanon that he asked for her number because he thought it would be useful to be in touch with her somehow?? but the headcanon that i’ve adopted (read as: stole from lev and luna) is that takahashi asked him to get misa’s number for him. either way, not very telling about his views on women.

to comment a bit more on higuchi, i definitely don’t think he’s a violent, “get in the kitchen” kind of sexist. from what we see of his date with misa (before they get to the kira stuff), he seems like he’s generally pretty nice - i mean, even when drunk he promised to treat her right, and during their date he just seems like he’s trying really hard to impress her. imo, higuchi is very much in the Nice Guy category of sexist dude… he thinks that women are weak and need to be protected, and he’s big on chivalry because he wants to appear more attractive. (and then he contemplates killing misa, so clearly that doesn’t reach very far.) he does seem to respect and defer to rem, though, so maybe this only applies to human women or women he finds attractive? or maybe rem just never bothered to tell him her gender and he never figured it out? who knows.

this is where we get to the more headcanon specific stuff!

shimura, right off the bat, was raised by a single mother. i don’t headcanon that they had a good relationship, but it’s still likely that he had more prominent women than men authority figures in his life when he was younger. because of this, i think his outlook is different than a lot of the yotsus, and he’s more predisposed to pay less regard to gender. similarly, kida’s parents were both science teachers, so it seems like he was raised in a more … balanced? household in that regard. i definitely don’t think he’s super liberal in some other ways, but i think he’s similar to shimura as far as women go.

i headcanon both mido and namikawa as trans (mido as a trans woman, namikawa as a trans man), and i don’t think either of them are overtly sexist. they mostly interact with people through work and most of their coworkers are men, so i don’t think either of them… talk to women that often? i don’t think either of them are attracted to women, either, so they’re pretty much limited to family members and a few acquaintances (mostly through work). there’s nothing really offensive to note here, though. they’re fine.

hatori probably isn’t too bad, either. there’s not a lot to go off of here; he’s married and faithful to his wife, he shows no interest in misa at all, etc. his parents weren’t married so he was primarily raised by his mother, but i also don’t think his mother paid much attention to him, although that’s just a personal headcanon. as an adult, he’s part of a pretty traditional family so he might be a bit traditional in some ways, but i don’t think he’s consciously biased against women. he’s just kind of… an average dude. he’s fine but probably has some unintentionally bad takes. at the same time, though, i don’t think he’s too staunch in his beliefs either way, and he definitely respects his wife, so…? i’d say he’s pretty alright.

#asks #Yotsuba #Kyosuke Higuchi #Eiichi Takahashi #Takeshi Ooi #Suguru Shimura #Masahiko Kida #Shingo Mido #Reiji Namikawa #Arayoshi Hatori #Misa Amane #anon

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dinviataunuitiptrans · 4 years

Text

#dinviataunuitiptrans

It's 2020 and my only resolution is to take it easy on me and go walk whenever I feel the sadness circling my soul, so this day I do just that.

I woke up freezing because the heater got broken and I know that if I stay indoors I'm gonna fall into some sort of despair so I go and brew some few cups of tea, purr them in bottles, roll up my last blunt from the stash, eat some pasta left overs from new years eve, dress myself in pretty colors and head out. It's been one hour of walking therapy so I stop by McD. to pee and then head out to the small park to have a smoke and rest my legs.

"- Futu-ți morții mă-tii de adiere băşită" is the best my brain could think of when the wind blowed away the tobacco from my rizla while trying to roll, so I start all over.

"- Futu-ți morții mă-tii...", this is my second attempt, the tobacco is all over my pants so I take a deep breath and keep on trying.

"- Futu-ți morții mă-tiiiii!!!!"

That was my 3d attempt to roll but the wind had other plans for my lungs. But then you came bye amused by the words you didn't understand, holding a pack of cigarettes and inviting me to stop fighting the wind and have a smoke from your pack. So I take one and you take a seat next to me and we lit up the cancer tubes, I say thanks and you say I'm very cute and smile. To scare the shyness away I pretend to flip my hair in the gayest way possible:

- Oh, just cute? and I thought I was beautiful, now you destroyed my dreams to ever be an instagram sensation.

You start laughing and tell me I'm actually beautiful and we start playing this game where we kinda make fun of how dumb we as humans are, I'm cracking up silly jokes and you do the same, I tell you I find you very cute also and I apologise for shattering your dreams of being an insta model, you laugh and you give me another cigarette and then move a bit closer to me.

- You're very smart for such a young guy...are you seeing someone?

- Love, you're sweet but I'm not that young...

Then you touch my hand and tell me you already like me and that I don't have to lie to impress you because you have been with guys younger than my age. That's how I find out that I'm most likely 22 or 23 and that you're just few years older than me, you're 25. I tell you lies are not my sexy kink and that I'm born in 1984, on the 31st of May. You laugh but I see the awe on your face so I tell you the good looks run in my family and that if you see my brothers you'll know what I'm talking about.

- Show me

You say that and then cuddled so close to me that you give me no option but put my arm around you while I start pulling out pictures from the phone.

- Here is Patrick, he's the love of my life and one of the sweetest man the Universe has given us. He's gonna be 35 this year.

You say we look alike but that I'm prettier than him so I turn a bit red and start feeling kind of uncomfortable so I swipe away.

- In this picture he's with Max, they are at a court hearing. Max is the oldest one, he is in his 40s and he lives here in UK but up north. I haven't seen him for ages and I miss him and his signature paranoia very much. This is Andrei, I have tons of pictures with him, we live together and he is so sweet that every time I think of him my heart melts. Probably the reason I take secret pictures of him while sleeping.

I show you more pictures with him and tell you the story when I had to sleep in his room and how he cuddled close to me when we were sleeping and you press yourself against my body and tell me you get it why. This makes me feel even more uncomfortable cuz you kinda took up every cm of my personal space but I don't know what to do so I brush it off.

- He's 22 and he might be one of the sexiest of us but he's not the youngest, Gherman is. See? This is Gabi but I call him Gherman, this is a screenshot from one of our chats, I always do this pictures when we talk so that I have them to look at when I miss them. You would say he's 14 but actually he just turned 18. He's an adorable pain in the ass but with the soul in the right place. And this is Chriss, look how gorgeous this guy is and his heart is pure gold. He's such a talented artist but unfortunately he wasn't discovered yet, he draws nudes and erotic art and it's mind fucking blowing. This is a photo with Chriss, Rami and Teo, I almost cried when I got these pictures of them. Rami represents the whole notion of humanness and he's shy just like me.

- This guy is blonde... is he also your brother?

You pointed out to Teo so I show you more pictures with him and then pull up pictures with Andreas also.

- Yeah, we have few blondes in our family but we decided to love them nonetheless. This is Andreas, not only that he's blond but he's also a very wise man. It's always such a pleasure talking to him. He's in Germany now. Just like Leo.

I'm looking for pictures with Leo so I start scrolling for the screenshots from the last whatsapp conversation and you decide to take a break from your cuddle and have a smoke. Now I feel more comfortable even though you're still resting your body next to mine.

- Here is my adorable Leo.

- He looks alot like the first guy without the beard..

- Like Patrick?

- Yeah

You see the pictures with me and Vlăduț and you like him.

- This is your brother also, I can tell. Is he old like you?

- No, actually he's young like you. And also an amazing musician and sound therapist. He makes sounds with weird instruments and then you feel a bit better. But he's not in London anymore, he returned home, he wasn't feeling very good here.

I feel you're a bit disappointed and probably thinking that you'll have to settle with me but once you get me started with my brothers it's very hard to make me stop.

- And this is Aris, he looks like an artist because he is one, he's a painter and a tattoo artist. And this is Elias, if you're ever looking for a smart conversation then he's the guy to go to. Him or Alexander. The difference is the sarcasm of Alex versus the warmth of Elias.

Then I show you Alexander and you smile and ask me if Elias and Alex are twins but I have no chance to answer because now you're handing me your phone and ask me to pull up my fb and I do just that so you start looking around while I'm getting even more nostalgic going through the pictures in my phone. I'm looking for a picture with Abel but I have no more time to show it to you

- You're transgendered?

- Oh love, there's no such thing as being "transgendered", nobody can transgender me, I am transgender because this is how I am.

- You mean you're not a real man?

- I'm just as a real human as you are love, and for sure am a man. Just that I'm a trans man

- And you're proud of this sickness...

And then you show me my cover photo.

I felt your disgust even since you said "Trasgendered" and I know very well that look in your eyes, I once had a crazy girlfriend who used to look at me just like that and somehow it feels so fucking familiar that I sense what is going to happen next so I try my best to avoid it. I tell you that each of us has its own life to live and that people must learn to accept and embrace diversity if we want to heal this human race. I tell you that body parts are just that, body parts and that gender identity is not defined by sexual anatomy. I want to tell you more but I was right and you snap into rage mode, slap the shit out of me almost poking my eye out with your nails.

- Fucking disgusting predator, man with pussy, you should be burned alive.

You walk away in anger showing the middle finger, shouting "fuck you", so I shout back that you wish to have the luck to get fucked by such a proud trans man but that I don't fuck crazy bitches anymore so you turned around and you were fuming so I told you that if you come back to hit me again I'm gonna punch you in the face. You left. I start rolling one and feel sorry I got angry and yelled back but somehow so relieved that you went away.

Dear L.,

You have my FB now and somehow I hope this message gets to you: please get some medical help you are in desperate need, and you won't get to meet nice guys like me everywhere.

I know you have serious mental issues cuz a healthy mind wouldn't let you go to total strangers looking for their attention and affection on a bench in a park, you don't cuddle with strange men and expose yourself like that.

I lived with a girl like you, extremely violent and unstable that is, for a whole year and I know that you were just looking to meet somebody that looks like a nice guy but actually hoping to get an asshole so you can have an excuse to violently manifest your pain. Been there through that already so I know the drill. The fact that you discovered I'm transgender was just the trigger you were looking for, and I didn't feel you hated me but I did feel that you wanted to make someone suffer and you found me, so it was just a matter of time until something would have triggered you.

PS: I'm sorry I threatened you but I don't like being hit. I wouldn't have hit you back but I would have called the ambulance because I learned that being a sweet person doesn't help when somebody suffers like you do.

#trans guy #trans man #transform #transition #transgender #unicorn #trans pride #trans is beautiful #trans is valid #trans and proud #dinviataunuitiptrans

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