#i might have some undiagnosed stuff i refuse to acknowledge

[isayimedgybutimnot]

So I am an unashamed Katsuki Bakugou and Tomura Shigaraki kinnie. So naturally when I have those days where there is no difference between there is practically no difference between me and the character I wanna listen to music that matches that mood, cuz I live my life through music. But I also am inept at making consistent playlists and when I go looking for one I always end up finding one that captures the vibe of x character or the type of music said character would listen to, even if their labeled as a kinnie playlist.

I guess what I'm getting at is does anyone know any good songs that would actually match the characters. Like the innate rage and hatred the both of them carry, for themselves and others. The way they hold themselves to such high standards. The hidden self destructiveness of it all.

Yeah so songs for Bakugou and Shigaraki

#mha #bnha #bnha shigaraki #bnha bakugou #bakugo #shigaraki tomura #bakugo katuski #playlist #kinnie #bakugou kin #shigaraki kin #music #alternative #i might have some undiagnosed stuff i refuse to acknowledge #but since you're actually reading the tags #you get to know #like i know that i tagged with bpd on earlier posts #but therapy is scary and im too proud to go #but i think bpd might be a viable option #it might be something completely else tho

[endivinity]

theres only so many times i can go for a high-powered walk to get rid of absolute incandescent anger!!! i’ve only been in this house for two and a half months and it’s just, destroyed me utterly.

my dad is 65, white, british. he is also terminally online. he spends most of his time looking at memes, hanging out in /b/ offshoots for all his news, and watching opinion piece videos (which, surprise surprise, if he doesn’t agree with the opinion, he’ll mock it or close it before finding something that aligns with his views more).

i dont even know what his views ARE because he’s got so little critical thinking beyond ‘if i don’t agree with it, it’s wrong' and all he spouts are things he read somewhere and my god he’s repetitive. he says the same jokes and repeats the same memes frequently. spouted the ‘avocado toast millennials’ argument thats YEARS out of date. has such a shallow inane understanding on complex societal Stuff.

today he was saying how the will smith chris rock thing was staged, bc a slap is far too minor, tupac wouldve shot him, smith would never have slapped alec baldwin if he’d said it, rock braced before the impact, etc etc

all this garbage, for every topic. he delights in dark humor memes and anti-government rhetoric.

he’s an antivaxxer. he supported the freedom convoy. he blames biden specifically, for what putin is doing. he hates democrats (we are in new zealand, democrats shouldn’t even be on his radar. this is how i know he spends all his time on /b/ boards which are predominately White Americans). instead of the covid tracer sign-in he fills out the forms with his name as ‘jacinda hitler’ or ‘adolf ardern’. he thinks everyone should be infected with omicron to give them full covid immunity (conveniently glossing over health risks and long covid. he isn’t vaccinated bc of the .5% chance it might cause issues with his fucked up kidney). he is for some reason pro-police, despite the anti-government stance. he thinks that jkrowling is entitled to her opinion (conveniently glossing over her financial and cultural icon status granting her a massive platform, and how he refuses to acknowledge different opinions bc theyre Wrong and Stupid). he thinks trans people are wrong unless theyre fully transitioned and surgeried (conveniently ignoring all the things in the way of transitioning. nz’s mastectomy surgeon retired in 2012. our waitlist is 40+ YEARS long), and shouldn’t compete in sports, and how a rapist claimed to be a woman and was put in a women’s prison, and look what happened!! trans people dangerous!! he likes to watch car crash videos and people trying to pull insurance scams. he loves the concept of the darwin awards. he believes that capital punishment should be a thing. he likes posts Owning The Mentally Ill Snowflakes On The Internet. his favorite saying is ‘sacred cows make the best hamburgers’ as justification for punching down on minorities, an absolute bastardization of what the phrase was originally meant to be. i am a mentally ill trans person living in his house. i have a permanent chronic sleep disorder, possible undiagnosed adhd/autism. my brother who lived here before moving out to study, definitely has undiagnosed autism. DAD HIMSELF had to quit his job. his job he had for almost 30 years, because of chronic anxiety and depression. the meds he has to treat it are not insubstantial - they started him in on the big guns right away. he IS the mentally ill snowflake on the internet. he doesn’t know how to interact with anything any more unless it’s mocking and belittling.

he is a horrible person. and i am so angry

#bit of a vent #theres transphobia racism bad takes and /b/. all sorts of bad stuff in here #i am just. trapped. theres no houses rn bc the student boom is over for the year. i literally have nowhere else to go #(barring the... not so good wellington houses out there where my computer might get water damage. since it's all i got) #ill figure it out. it just really sucks and i have to yell about it or else i will catch on fire

[thenightling]

Got myself the Sandman audio book today as a treat. Mostly to keep my attention (might have undiagnosed ADHD or something similar) to that world up till the series comes out but the reading and voice acting is really good and engaging. Thanks for keeping us up to date with Sandman stuff and making old fans like me dig the comics out again and sit down to finally experience current adaptations!

Aww, thank you.  I’m glad to see you in the fandom.  When I first joined The Sandman fandom in 2017 it was kind of quiet but very friendly here.  Everyone was sweet and kind except one person who decided I was transphobic because I didn’t like The Dreaming (1996 to 2002) spin-off comics.  They decided I was transphobic because the author is a transwoman (but I didn’t like them before I knew she was trans). Once I shut the anonymous asks feature off though things returned to peaceful friendliness until late 2018

In late 2018 or early 2019 or so though some very young (ages 18 to 25) new fans cropped up who every so often still give me a hard time- tell me that I’m too old to be in the fandom (I’m thirty-nine).  That it’s “creepy” when I reblog their content because I’m “old enough to be their mom.”   I never had to worry about having to check the about pages before sharing Sandman content before.  And one of them changed their account name on a near weekly basis so I had no idea it was them on a bunch of alts.

And at one point that particular person told complete strangers that I ship a “Three-year-old with some old dude.”   The three-year-old in question?  Present day Daniel.  And the old dude? Morpheus.  I made a post a while back that they found where I had said the one person Morpheus has the best emotional connection with is another aspect of Dream of The Endless.   They also “mistakenly” thought I was pro-incest because I acknowledged that Ivy (in The Dreaming 2018 comics) is Desire’s great-grand-daughter.   

Ironically, it all started because I tried to promote their Sandman discord for them. Rather than admit they were wrong they combed my blog for other reasons to condemn me.  It was very uncomfortable.   While the “boyfriend” of one of them was messaging me about my “Shipping a three-year-old with some old dude” I got flustered and accidentally wrote she instead of xe (the chosen pronoun of their significant other). I apologized but they refused to believe it so suddenly I was “transphobic.”  It made the fandom very unpleasant for while.  but things seem to be improving again.

I know the fandom will get larger in the up coming months and years but I hope it returns to the friendliness I experienced when I first discovered it.

#Sandman #The Sandman

[phoenixspirited]

🍑🍎🍍

Fruity Heacanons!

🍑  : how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance? do they spend a lot of time on their hair, makeup, grooming, and clothing? is there a particular reason why they do or don’t?  

Yusuke spends a decent amount of time on his pompadour alone. And probably globs too much grease into his hair to do it. He’s surely not using the nicest of products cause I can’t imagine he really invests in that. But perfecting the pompadour is definitely important to do every day. He’s gotta look cool and badass and live up to that whole delinquent label.

Sometimes Yusuke puts a bit of an effort into picking out his clothing, but other times, he throws the first few things he can find on, which sometimes gives him a cute, unique look but also can just get him... fashion disgraces. He keeps clean and stuff, though. Takes regular quick showers and all of that. 

🍎  :  how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?  

Yusuke’s mental health, as of the end of canon is improving. Before that, it... wasn’t the best. Especially Pre-Series. He had kinda a rough home life with an deadbeat dad and an alcoholic mom. He had a lot of pent up anger, and took much of it out by fighting others, and picking up some bad habits. This in turn let lots of rotten rumors about him get out, teachers and other adults always looked down on him, and just... yeah, before the events of the series, Yusuke was pretty lonely, angry and depressed. And throughout the series, he was still struggling to get over that anger and allow himself to open up more with his emotions, as he is very emotionally constipated. And with that comes all this trauma he goes through and refuses to acknowledge. But, thankfully, after his time in demon world, and evaluating what is important to him, when he returns to human world he is in a more comfortable place with himself. Doesn’t mean he handles things in the healthiest of ways, but he’s slowly getting there.

He definitely hasn’t gone to see if he has any mental illnesses, so that’s up in the air for him, but I don’t think he has anything, at least not to a serious degree. Should he attend therapy? Honestly it might be a good idea considering all he’s gone through, but it’s not like he’d be able to talk about half of it, anyway. And no way in hell would he sit in and do that shit either way.

🍍 :  how comfortable is my muse in their body?  how do they feel about their height,  weight, strength, and body type?  how important is being attractive to them?  

Yusuke’s pretty comfortable with everything here! Sometimes, he thinks maybe it would be cool to appear taller and more built with big ass muscles, but it’s not something he’d actually change about himself. He’s happy with how he is, because hey, if you can’t tell how tough he is just from one look, that doesn’t stop him from kicking your ass, and laughing in your face if you underestimated him. Yusuke’s also fairly attractive and knows he is, but that’s not on his top list of priorities. He’s pleased with the fact, obviously, and wouldn’t want to look any different, and appearing in a desirable way is great. But eyeing attractive people himself aside, he’s not the type to go out there and use his attractiveness to flirt and win over girls or guys or anything. He’s got more important things to do than obsess about his own looks.

#curlybara #↳ [ HEADCANONS ] #↳ [ ASKS ] #(and LET'S GO WITH THE HEADCANONS AGAIN) #(I love talking about my boy ;a;) #(idk why those fruit emojis are coming up so big) #(thanks tumblr)

[tigerlover16-uk]

Goodbye, GT

This is a very personal post written mostly for the sake of posterity and closure. You're free to read it if you really want, but I'd rather nobody comment or make a big deal out of anything I say here, I just needed to get my thoughts written out for the sake of moving on. So I'd rather people just scroll past.

Well, I finally finished watching Dragon Ball GT subbed. Thank goodness.

I have a lot of complex thoughts on GT, many of them very negative. I've made it no secret that I hate this series, and I have a lot of reasons why I hate it. The complete refusal to do anything meaningful with the vast majority of the supporting cast (With the things they actually do end up being very minor stuff, or downright insulting), especially the complete mishandling of Pan and Uub's characters. The boring stories, the bad designs and the general aesthetic of the show. The unengaging fights, and that utterly STUPID ending!

There were a few things I liked here and there, but in general I have a lot to complain about. And maybe if people ask me I will talk more about the show, but since this will likely be the last time I ever watch it, I felt now was a good time to really wax poetic about why I really feel so negatively about it.

Because after really thinking everything over and my experiences with GT and the franchise in general, I think I've found a more deep-seated reason besides it's own admittedly poor quality as a show. And I just wanted to get it all out for posterity's sake and so I can really move on.

I watched GT as it was airing on Welsh television as a kid, the Blue Water Dub specifically. It aired right after Dragon Ball Z finished, and the original Dragon Ball started airing after GT wrapped up. Like with DBZ, I watched every episode as it aired, and in general my childhood self enjoyed it. I was too young and stupid to really think critically about most of the media I consumed, so I never tended to notice any flaws in the shows I watched.

And Dragon Ball Z was my favourite growing up, alongside Spider-man The Animated series, so naturally I was inclined to think of everything GT did as being amazing and cool. And to be fair, yeah there is some cool stuff here, I can see why I enjoyed it. Even though now that I look back, a lot of it didn't stick with me the same way the stories, action and characters of DBZ and later Dragon Ball did.

I was confused and uncertain about the ending, but given that the original Dragon Ball started airing soon after I was never much concerned with it. Dragon Ball couldn't really be over, here was more of it showing me all that backstory and stuff that was always hinted at or flashbacked to in Z but I never saw for some reason. I quickly fell in love with OG Dragon Ball the same way i did with it's sequel series.

It was soon after that series finished airing, however, and I came to accept that Dragon Ball was over... that a powerful, uneasy feeling started to set in. While I know I hadn't actually been watching it for ALL of my life, it really did feel like Dragon Ball had always been there. A constant, welcoming, wonderful presence in my life that made everything feel so much cooler and life in general so much more fulfilling. Something to always look forward to...

I didn't dwell on it too hard at the time, but as time passed, and life generally got harder and more miserable as time went on (I'm pretty sure I was in secondary school when Dragon Ball finished, and that was one of the worst parts of my life, let me tell you!), I started to feel very alone and wistful.

To give an idea of what I was going through without giving too much away, I was losing friends, with my longest friendship ending in a great personal betrayal, my home life was an utter mess right up to and through my parents divorcing.

And between school work, undiagnosed aspergers that my teachers refused to acknowledge might be a possibility, and just realising how harsh, cruel and kind of miserable the world really was... let's just say that I became a pretty closed off, miserable person for a while.

I got better when I started going to college and life in general became more stable, but through all of that, and for the next several years after it even... the thing that made it especially unbearable, was that through it all, I felt like something was missing.

Something important, something grounding. Something that had helped carry me through life prior to all that, and give me something to always look forward to and find comfort in whenever things seemed rough.

It felt like a part of my soul had been missing for a long time, and I never understood why.

I think it was during my later years in secondary school that my family got a computer for the first time. I can clearly remember spending so many hours of my life browsing through wiki's of all sorts of shows, games and movies I liked.

One day, I inevitably started looking up Dragon Ball stuff.

I went all in trying to find as much information as possible about this series. I read all up about the behind the scenes information and Akira Toriyama's writing process. I read up on all the characters, the manga prototypes of Dragon Ball, and the reasons for why Toriyama wrote a lot of things the way he did.

I learned about all of the dub changes, and the various dubs that were out there for that matter. I used to have a laugh about some of them. Learned about a lot of the movies, games, Specials and other stuff I hadn't been aware of because I'd never seen them before.

While I didn't have any DVD's for the series available for a while and felt uncomfortable pirating the show (Didn't stop me from looking at some other things on YouTube, I notice though... I'm a weirdo :p), but I did frequently refamiliarize myself with stuff that had happened.

And when Dragon Ball Z Kai became a thing, I watched that, and I kept up with animated specials like the Yo! Son Goku and his friends return! special or Episode of Bardock (Which I actually watched before I even watched Bardock: Father of Goku, despite knowing about that special and everything that happened in it for a while, for some reason...).

I remember hearing about Dragon Ball Online and all the stuff about it's lore, and being utterly fascinated by the prospect, since I had never imagined another take on the series post-EoZ other than GT actually being presented, even though I REALLY did wish we had more.

Over time as I was doing this, the feeling of wonder and fun that I had always felt watching Dragon Ball as a kid started to come back, and I remembered why I loved this series so much. How much it meant to me... and how sad it made me that it seemed the series would never come back.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I appreciated that we had stuff like the video games, or the occasional specials, and even the SD manga when that became a thing was something I frequently read synopsis for since I didn't know where to actually read the manga for a while. I was glad there was content being made... but it was never nearly the same thing as having a proper continuation, you know.

And a lot of the stuff we got, like the YO! special, was pretty mediocre fluff in the long run. It was fun, but it didn't fill the void. And I thought nothing ever would.

I had begun to realize what that missing part of my soul had been.

I was excited when I heard about Battle of Gods being released, but I also assumed it would just be a one-off thing, something that would be great to pass the time and give me another chance to see all those characters I loved again, but it wouldn't lead to anything bigger. And despite stuff like the hints of there being multiple different universes, I was still certain by the time Resurrection F was announced that an occasional mostly self-contained movie would be the best we could ask for in terms of new Dragon Ball content.

I can't even begin to tell you how shocked... and how darn HAPPY I was when Super was announced. I never expected it to happen... I couldn't believe it was. For the first time in years... a new Dragon Ball series. One that ignored GT's continuity, and thus it's definitive ending, and opened up the possibility of more new Dragon Ball stories for many years to come.

I wanted to cry.

I didn't start watching the show until it was part-way through the Champa saga... mostly because there weren't legal ways to view it until part-way through the Future Trunks saga, and I thought I'd wait for the dub at first. but keeping up with news and spoilers about what was happening, and browsing the tv tropes pages for Super every day and watching clips on YouTube, I just couldn't control myself and started looking up episodes of the Champa saga myself.

And oh God... I felt at home. I mean, it wasn't a perfect story, really, but... it was good. And it was new Dragon Ball. Watching things unfold was such a magical experience, and when it got to the Hit fight... HOLY COW, was my mind blown. THAT... that was Dragon Ball, through and through! And then we got the Baby Pan episode, and dear God that was adorably perfect and I love it to bits. And then we found out that Future Trunks was coming back for a saga, and the new villain for it and, OH GOD THE EXCITEMENT!

Having Dragon Ball back in my life again was just... it felt just so... right. The missing part of my soul was restored. I had my childhood... I had my best friend back.

I suppose by now you're wondering about how all of this relates to GT. You're probably thinking "Oh well then, you only hate it because you blame it for ending Dragon Ball for so long!" and... well, okay, that's kind of on point. But I didn't hate it for that until after I actually re-watched the series not too long ago.

Truth is, I've always defended GT. I mean, I knew it had problems just listening to people talk about it, and remembering it for myself. I definitely agreed the ending was wrong. But... I remembered liking it as a kid. Even loving it.

I remembered there were ideas and a few characters I really liked. People complain about a lot of things in DBZ as well, yet whenever I re-watch that and the original Dragon Ball, they both hold up exceptionally well despite some issues. Better than so many things from my childhood.

So, why shouldn't GT hold up the same? I always told people that GT was okay, that a lot of people overreacted and that it wasn't anything offensive. People were just overreacting.

I strongly believed that for years. I was glad it was non-canon, because that meant there was another chance for another, better post-EoZ series that utilized the next gen characters (And the long standing supporting cast, for that matter) better, and I didn't want Dragon Ball to have a definitive ending. But I stubbornly refused to have negative feelings about GT.

I started re-watching GT when Super was about half-way through, out of curiosity and because I wanted to have an actually up to date, informed opinion on it. Especially where comparisons to Super came up.

I didn't go into the series intending to be negative, I went in with the intention of DEFENDING IT. I knew there would be stuff that would annoy me or that would be frustrating, but I wanted to enjoy it like I had as a child. I wanted to be able to say with confidence that despite it's faults, GT was a worthwhile addition to the Dragon Ball franchise and that I liked it.

And for the first two to five episodes, I did kind of enjoy it, despite some things I took issue with...

But the more I watched and was bored of the first saga, and the more I started looking ahead and really dwelling on what went on in the show. How it used the characters, how the stories were written and how it ended... after a while, I started to doubt it. I started to dislike it more and more.

While I had made up my mind about GT not being a good continuation of Dragon Ball Z by the time I finished the Baby saga, I still mostly enjoyed that saga at least, despite some glaring issues that bothered me. I was willing to say that was mostly fine. I hated the Super 17 saga a lot, but even going into the Shadow Dragons saga, I expected to like that. I tried very hard to be positive going into it... and then it kept spitting in my face.

And by the time I got to the penultimate episode, I was sick of the show and glad to stop watching it. I did something I never expected myself to do, and declared it horrible, a blight on the franchise! And I meant it, because after experiencing such a disappointing let down, and especially after that insulting final episode when I did watch it... I felt betrayed.

THIS was the show I had been defending all these years?! It was trash! People were right, GT WAS an insult to the franchise... it was an insult to me as a fan, as someone who loves this series.

And I feel this way because it feels like the series is specifically designed to annoy me. The first saga is a boring slog where it feels like nothing of actual value happens after our heroes leave earth, all for a stupid contrived premise. The only really notable episode is episode 15, and for ALL the wrong reasons! Goku is turned into a kid for no reason, which just feels wrong at this point in the series, Pan is derailed into an annoying brat for no good reason, and the only other character that comes along for the journey is Trunks. Who is one of the few characters I don't really care that much about, and he's blander here than he was in DBZ.

We get one half-decent story after that, one horrible trainwreck of an arc that did NOTHING right apart from a funny gag with Chichi and Videl, and a saga that sounds on paper like it should be the greatest thing in the world... but everything apart from Nuova and Eis Shenron's episodes was handled in the WORST WAY POSSIBLE.

The fights range from passable, occasionally good, to just BORING. While there were good jokes sometimes, the humour was usually dull. The many characters I loved either barely showed up and then only to get fodderised, have a lot of their personality drained away so they're just kind of dull, or in the cases of Piccolo and Majin Buu, get POINTLESSLY KILLED OFF! And in Piccolo's case he got shoved into freaking Hell for his troubles and never got out! What were you thinking, writers! That is NOT how you treat one of the greatest anime characters ever created!

Everything I felt could have potential to be interesting felt like it was deliberately sabotaged. Uub was shoved aside in the first episode and didn't show up until it was half over, and then despite getting a transformation all he does is have a fight with Baby that's way too short and anti-climactic and then stall the villain later on in the saga, otherwise he's so insignificant to the show he might as well never show up.

I always thought his character was very interesting and I wanted to see him be at least the co-protagonist and actually do stuff... and GT just bent over backwards to make him irrelevent, give him almost no personality or real purpose, and just generally undermine the entire point of the ending of Z...

Pan got off almost worse. She was never allowed to go super saiyan, only useful a few times throughout the show and didn't defeat anyone that mattered on her own. She got no real character development, and was mostly just a damsel in distress... because the writers LITERALLY ADMITTED that they only kept her around so she could get beat up by the villains so Goku could look better by comparison. But oh I've already made some long posts on how badly Pan was used, so I won't go on now.

Bulla and Marron barely existed as far as the show was concerned. Krillin was basically a prop that was there to be a butt monkey who disappoints his family in the Baby saga, and his only notable contribution to the story was to DIE to move the plot along.

Android 17... oh God, the poor guy. He barely had any personality left when he showed up inexplicably under Dr Gero and Myuu's mind control, that whole Super 17 fusion was stupid as all heck, and then they senselessly killed his character off for real without ever doing ANYTHING of interest with him in a really insulting manner.

Despite the brilliant premise of having all the past villains invade from hell, the show did NOTHING with ANY of them, apart from turning Frieza, my favourite villain of all time, and Cell, into a couple of jokes who are defeated in an embarrassing way.

As cool as the Shadow Dragons are in concept, not only does their explanation and build up make no sense, but only Nuova and Eis are worthwhile characters. Haze and Rage Shenron were absolutely pathetic, Oceanus Shenron felt like a monster of the week from an earlier point in the series and not suitable endgame villain material, Naturon Shenron was annoying and lost because he was the BIGGEST IDIOT in the entire franchise, and Omega Shenron was the most disappointing final boss possible with no personality beyond "Evil bad guy" and a dull final fight that just poorly rips off stuff that happened in the Buu Saga, as well as that one episode that was just pointless padding that existed to tease people who liked Nuova Shenron by bringing him back only to have his contribution mean nothing (Kind of like how Vegeta going super saiyan 4 meant nothing thanks to Gogeta being a time wasting idiot and Vegeta not even putting up a half-decent fight against Omega).

And besides that, there were only two new characters in the show besides Nuova (Who was killed off way too soon, IMO) and Eis (The only character used as well as he could have been, probably) that were any good, them being Baby and General Rilldo. And Baby devolves into discount Frieza with none of the charm halfway through his saga, and Rilldo only gets a mediocre at best fight and then gets a bridge unceremoniously dropped on him.

And apart from them? Giru/Gill was an occasional nuisance and as interesting as drying paint. Valese was awkward and pointless, Dolltaki was the WORST character in the franchise, Dr Myuu/Mu was a boring dollar store Dr Gero with a stupider moustache and nothing interesting to him at all, and none of the other few characters were anything worthwhile.

And it's not like the show did a lot of interesting stuff with the characters it already had, half the characters are barely around, with several being only silent cameos, and they don't get any development from when we last saw them. Even 18's highly touted contribution in the Super 17 saga just involved her conveniently showing up to shoot energy blasts at Super 17, allowing Goku to then do all the hard work necessary to defeat him. It was kinda cool, but it was barely anything and it still comes at the expense of wasting 17 completely.

And then that ending... that above all insulted me, because after the show went out of it's way to wreck up so many of the characters, and treat us to mediocre to horrible stories, destroy any of the potential that Dragon Ball Z left open for future stories... after all that, it had the GALL to offer up what it intended to be the definitive, no going back ending for the ENTIRE series... an ending that was out of nowhere, depressing, and overall just kind of pointless... I was so angry.

THIS SHOW... this show is the reason we went so long without another Dragon Ball series for almost two decades, outside of Kai being just a re-cut of Z. And it went out of it's way to be the worst possible send off for the franchise imaginable, and try to cut off all avenues for future series.

I was so angry over this! All those years wistfully longing to have Dragon Ball come back... all those years that I felt incomplete, like I'd lost my anchor to make life feel more bearable when things got bad... like I didn't have a lot to look forward to... all of that was GT's fault, and it was TERRIBLE to boot!

And I DEFENDED this show all that time, because I was just so clueless... I felt sick.

And yes, I know I can't blame GT for how bad life got for me, that's childish... but I really do feel like having a little hope that Dragon Ball would continue with more series would have helped through it.

Dragon Ball is not just a show or manga to me. It is my favourite media franchise of all time. The series, it's characters and it's world resonate with me like nothing else. Nothing makes me happier than watching Dragon Ball, nothing else gets me more excited. The magic I felt watching the show as a kid is something I have yet to experience from any other work of fiction, despite trying my hardest to find it elsewhere in the time since. Maybe Pokemon comes close, but it's not quite there.

Dragon Ball is an integral part of my life. And GT tried to rip it away from me. To torch the franchise and run, as tv tropes would put it.

That is why I was so happy to have Super come into my life.

Dragon Ball Super is not a perfect series, as I have stated many times before. It has plot holes, inconsistent animation quality, especially earlier on. It occasionally screws up writing certain characters like Vegeta or Goku (Even though I don't think the latter's portrayal overall is anywhere near as bad as people blow it out of proportion to be), and there are plenty of missed opportunities. The Future Trunks Saga's ending was a complete mess, some of the things it introduced didn't really pay off. It has problems...

But at the same time, it's given me more joy than any other series of the past decade. Because when Super is good... oh my God, is it good.

The best fights from Super are honestly some of my favourites in the entire franchise. Goku vs Hit, the big fight with Goku Black and Future Zamasu in episode 57, Gohan vs Lavender, Gokus first fight with Jiren, Android 18 beating Ribrianne... there are SO many good ones, and the best are so much better than any of GT's action scenes. Heck, just watching the clip of the last bout of the fight between Goku, Frieza and Android 17 against Jiren did more for me than the entire final battle against Omega Shenron did.

There are so many good jokes and funny episodes, I think I've laughed more watching Super than any other Dragon Ball series. The slice of life episodes and moments scattered throughout are wonderful, and give me such an unbelievably pleasant feeling. We see so much more of the supporting cast too, and while the show struggles with a lot of characters especially early on, they all ended up getting so much good character moments over the course of the show and especially in the final arc. It was so wonderful just to spend more time with everyone.

There were so many cool new concepts thrown in. The 12 universes, the integration of the Galactic Patrol from the Jaco manga, the super dragon balls.

And there were so many new characters that I'm actually interested in.

Obviously we have Beerus, Whis and Jaco carrying on from the recent movies, and I love them so much. But in Super we got to meet Hit, Champa, Vados, Cabba, Frost, Magetta, Goku Black, Caulifla, Toppo, Ribrianne, and so many awesome and intersting new characters, many of whom I desperately want to see fleshed out and get to do more in future series. I didn't care about anyone from GT NEARLY as much as I care about half of these new characters, except maybe Nuova.

There's just so many amazing things that have happened that I never dreamed I would experience.

I never thought Android 17 would not only come back and be developed more, but that he'd go on to be one of the best characters in the show and one of my new favourites. I never thought Frieza would make a big comeback either, but oh God was he so perfect in the Universe Survival Saga and I think I love him even more now than I already did! I never thought I'd see Master Roshi getting to be cool again and have what felt like an even better send off to his time as a martial artist than the original Dragon ball gave him, but oh lord was episode 105 so good and got me emotional.

I never even knew I wanted Pan the adorable super baby to be a thing, but oh God is she wonderful and perfect in every way and I just love her so much! Ahhh!

Already I have so many fond memories of watching Super. Sure, it's done things to upset me from time to time, but when it's good, and it is most of the time, it does more for me than most other shows I watch. When Super is at it's best, I feel the same magic that Dragon Ball Z made me feel as a child.

A feeling I never once got from watching GT.

And as much as I panicked when I heard the show was ending, we got confirmation soon after that Super would continue through the upcoming movie, and all signs pointed to a new Dragon Ball series being produced in the near future. When the final episode aired, I felt a great sense of satisfaction in how it concluded... and also excitement and hope for the future, because that last episode made it so clear that there was much more to come.

Dragon Ball GT's ending threw me out of the house, slammed the door in my face and flushed the keys down the toilet. But Super left the door open.

It wasn't a goodbye this time. It was a "See you later"

A promise from my oldest, most dear friend that we would meet again.

It was such a beautiful feeling. And I cannot wait to see what the future holds for Dragon Ball. I'm sure there'll be bad stories now and again, every franchise has those from time to time, but Toei seem to be making all the right moves to get things stable to better produce future dragon ball works. The movie seems like it's having a ton of effort put into it, at least. So I have faith. Now my dream where Dragon Ball can go on forever might finally be coming true, and I couldn't be happier.

And after all is said and done, looking back on GT... I can't help but resent it for trying to deny me that.

I can't help but hold GT responsible for all of the years where there were no new Dragon Ball series. All the years it felt like Dragon Ball would never come back for real. And for all the loneliness that caused me deep in my heart.

It had some good points. Bad as it truly was, I can't say it was the worst sequel or show ever produced, there are many works of fiction that are objectively far worse than GT, and stuff that has caused actual harm to the world.

It'll never be One More Day or Holy Terror levels of bad... but on a strictly personal level, GT causes me more anger than any other fictional work I have encountered.

Why did I bother watching it again? That was a question I found myself asking as I was binging the subbed version. Obviously the reason I started doing that was because I have a personal goal of watching each Dragon Ball series both dubbed and subbed, and I thought I might as well get GT out of the way since I'd watched it all dubbed not too long ago... but why did I keep going as quickly as I did, when watching it just caused me so much frustration to the point of feeling actually painful?

I don't fully know, but maybe deep down I just really wanted to convince myself that I was being too harsh. That it wasn't all that bad, that I could go back to liking it somewhat. Because I really didn't want to resent it so much.

Guess that didn't work out, since honestly I think the only thing it accomplished is making me all the more aware of why I dislike it.

But you know what... whatever. I could keep being angry about GT until I'm blue in the face, but it's really not worth it. Because it's not relevant anymore. As much as it still bothers me we don't have another series set post-EoZ yet, GT has officially been replaced regardless by Super. It's clear that the franchise is back, and here to stay. Hopefully for good, this time. So really, what do I have left to be worried about?

I've got what I wanted all this time. GT's attempt to end Dragon Ball failed, the story goes on. And now that I've watched it both ways, I have no reason to ever come back to GT, or worry about it ever again. I have closure.

The show is still there for people who do enjoy it, for whatever reasons I'll never be able to relate to again. But I'm free from having to worry about it getting in the way of more Dragon Ball stories.

Now I have hope again, hope that a new Dragon ball series where Uub and Pan are treated with respect will happen down the line. Hope that I'll get to see more good character development and cool moments from all the characters I love. Hope that Launch might come back, or that underdeveloped characters might get to come back and be made a thousand times better like Android 17 was.

Here's to a bright future for Dragon Ball, the story that never ends.

And so, with all that out of the way... I guess it's time to say goodbye.

GT, you were a frustrating experience. I will admit, a part of me will always cherish those good childhood memories you gave me, even if they've been somewhat tainted. I will always love Super saiyan 4, and Nuova Shenron, and there's probably some good moments I might watch again through clips if I'm bored. I'll certainly listen to that english opening song again.

As bad as I make you out to be, in the end you weren't a complete disaster, since Dragon Ball ended up coming back anyway. And while I can never say I enjoyed watching you, part of me is glad there are others who feel differently, because people do deserve to be happy, even if I can't share the experience.

Because I'm not coming back. Because unless some exceptional circumstances happen, like I somehow become a big-name internet critic and I decide to review you for views, I highly doubt our paths will ever cross again. And I think that's for the best. I am sorry we grew apart so much, but I'm much happier where things are now.

Goodbye, GT. May your memory fade with time.

#personal