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#i mean it wasn't BAD
sirendeepity · 2 months
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I just watched Poor Things and 👁👄👁 what the fuck was that? I don't know what I was expecting, but porn was not on my bingo card
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petricorah · 11 months
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I love "i would kill for you" ship dynamics but what about "i would stop killing" ship dynamic??
I would lay down my sword for you. I would change my nature and go against everything i've known. I would resist the easy way out of solving my problems. I would give up the adrenaline of battle to stay by your side and make tea instead. I'm not sure I know who I am without a weapon in my hand because I've had to fight for so long but for you I'm willing to try and figure this out.
It must be hard. To put down your weapon that's protected you for so long. It's allowed you to stay alive it's kept you from getting hurt--physically and mentally. Because you've never had to worry about a real relationship if you think you'll be dead at the next battle. And you feel naked without it and it feels like you're ripping off an extension of yourself. Are you even whole without it? Are you worthy of being loved if you can't prove it by risking your life? And yet they've found someone who's asking them for something much harder than dying in battle on their behalf. They've found someone who wants them to live. And that's much more terrifying.
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inkskinned · 9 months
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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lazylittledragon · 6 months
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y'know what. sometimes there is something wrong with you. and i don't mean in a "you are broken and that makes you unworthy" way, just in the "your brain/body does not work the way it's expected to and that's why things are so hard" way
like as someone who grew up constantly being told there was nothing wrong with me and i just had to try harder to clean/socialise/work, knowing i had ADHD earlier would've saved me a LOT of guilt. knowing i have IBS would've prevented a lot of pain/embarrassment from not being able to manage it yet. i wish someone had told me there was a reason i couldn't do things instead of just telling me i was fine. people reassuring me i didn't have any issues to spare me the shame of being "different" only made me feel worse about not being able to function like everyone else!!!
idk sometimes i just wish i knew there was something different about me sooner bc then i would've had an explanation and a way to get better instead of just a lot of self loathing
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avephelis · 4 months
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somehow forgot to post this for five months but DIGGING UP MY SPREAD FROM DONZINE ✌️✌️ which you can still check out btw!! donnie my garden warrior
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trlvsn · 11 months
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too much "phoenix's long seven years of plotting", not nearly enough "mia's years of research on redd white and years of waiting for dahlia's downfall"
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hedgehog-moss · 6 months
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I bought a cushion for my fireside chair with a mouse from Beatrix Potter's Tailor of Gloucester and it's the best financial investment I've made in a while, I smile every time I see it
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nosfagratu · 1 year
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if kim only cares about people's worth if they're in the RCM then why in the fuck was he about to give his jacket to some random ass kid
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yeah sure the guy who only cares about other RCM officers if they're good was about to part with the only item of clothing keeping him somewhat warm in a place where there's ice thick enough to support two grown men and a bunch of other shit absolutely
(edit: i'd appreciate it if you take a look at this version instead x it contains way more nuance and some amazing additions)
(edit 2: here's a version with IDs as well x )
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coldshrugs · 11 days
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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take a deep breath
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vierapril day 10: breath
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marclef · 2 months
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guess who's (slowly) comin' back baby
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wanted to try making the squishy boy more expressive 🤗
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emdotcom · 2 years
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The Mario movie thing is so funny to me. Here, look at this:
Sonic movies (1, 2, & w/ 3 on the way) come out, does INCREDIBLE in box office, decimates Marvel films, who previously had a stranglehold
Nintendo sees this, wants a piece of that pie, buckles down to make a Mario movie Incorrect order of events, as pointed out here! Mario movie announced before the public knew about Sonic movie.
(Potentially because the previous Mario movie was so out there, did poorly, & was disliked by fans & then promptly forgotten,) they pair with Illumination, a studio that is largely known for making very sterile films
Btw, is it just me that finds it weird that there is no mention from Nintendo or online of the previous movie, in all this? Maybe I'm the only one who remembers this film idk
They announce casting. Everyone immediately boos because they cast Chris Pratt as Mario.
Immediate outrage, as Charles Martinet, the voice of Mario for DECADES, was not cast in his claim to fame roll
There is a (unsourced) rumor that a test screening for the film was met with disappointment, making Nintendo unhappy
Slightly corroborating this, Nintendo buys Dynamo Pictures, to make Nintendo Pictures, with the intent to make future movies in-house
Anticipation for the movie likens it to other sterile animated movies of the last 10 years, like the Minions movies
Trailer comes out.
People continue to boo Chris Pratt, a bad cast for a beloved character who is putting 0 effort into his voice, in comparison to all other VAs putting in 110%
Chris Pratt goes to bed "depressed," at seeing the response I was incorrect, that is an older article, about when he was thanking his wife for providing a healthy child, to which people drew immediate parallels to his ex-wife's son, who has many health complications & needed many surgeries.
But with your help, we can make him being depressed after media backlash reality!
Lol, &, may I say, lmao.
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tapakah0 · 7 months
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butchsophiewalten · 1 month
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03/03/24 Twitter Space Recap (2/2)
After the other Twitter Space which I already made a recap for, Martin, Eva ("Bon" and Bon's VA), Coral (Susan's VA), and Kyle (Boozoo & Charles' VA) reconvened for another space, this time with a Q&A focus, later in the day. This one was really long, and they talked about a lot, but I've summarized it here to the best of my ability:
-Someone asks "What would Jenny major in college? Because it's implied that she's in college." Martin answers (reiterating an answer he gave in a previous Space) that she studies psychology. Coral chimes in to say that they think Jenny would understand Sophie and her trauma a lot better for it, and Martin agrees, saying "Yeah, yeah, I think Jenny has a really good understanding of how Sophie thinks because of that."
-Someone asks "Hypothetically, which Tyler, The Creator album would be Sophie's favorite?". Martin answers that he thinks it would be Flower Boy.
-"When Jack and Rosemary argue, Jack sleeps on the couch and he goes to Molly, and he goes like 'Hey, could you go pick that up for me? I don't want to enter the room,' 'cause, like, whenever Rosemary is mad she's actually really scary. So Jack just doesn't- doesn't get involved. He just sleeps on the couch."
-Eva goes, "Martin, didn't we agree before that if Sophie and Brian ever met, Sophie would just kick his ass?". Martin answers, "Yeah, Sophie would hate Brian."
-"Okay, here's a Jophie fact, Jophie wasn't even supposed to be, like, an actual relationship, at first. Originally, it was gonna be, like, they would gradually start dating as the series went on. But then, we were like, Y'know what, it's way easier if they are already a couple... Imagine if you're going through the animatronic drama, and simultaneously it's just these two girls falling in love, in the middle of all that shit."
-"Will Richie appear again?" At this point the battery in Martin's phone has died, but nobody has noticed, so Eva steps in to answer, "Martin has had plans to bring Richie back for more stuff, but he hasn't really done anything with him yet, but I dunno." Kyle says he doesn't remember who Richie is, which is really funny to me.
-Someone asks if either Sophie or Jenny would like Weezer, and Coral says they think Jenny would like them unironically, but Sophie would like something like Buddy Holly ironically. Martin answers, "Y'know, I think Sophie- I've always thought that Sophie isn't the kinda person to like- like, experimental or artistic stuff too much, because she's like a very- a person that gets confused very easily. So, she would listen to stuff like Weezer and she would think internally, like, 'what the fuck is this?', but she'd go like "Oh, this is fire, Jenny, I love- I love it."'
-Kyle says he thinks it's important for Jenny to be a bit of a loser, in an endearing way. Eva slightly disagrees, saying Jenny would probably be the cool one between them, while Sophie is an absolute loser. Martin says, "I was trying to say, before we change the subject, the way I see it is that, to me, Sophie has a lot of like, street smarts, and Jenny is more like a very dorky person that probably just, like, lived a very normal and fulfilled life, y'know? She just, like, lived in the suburbs, with supporting people in her life. I think Sophie, yeah, she's kind of loser, but I think, in a way, in my opinion I think Sophie's a little braver than Jenny is. I've always seen them like that."
-Coral says, "I feel like Sophie wouldn't really know how to emote properly." and Martin says, emphatically, that she doesn't. Coral describes a scenario where Jenny is upset or scared by something, and is crying. and how Sophie would try her best to comfort her, but would really not know what to do, and would struggle immensely in a situation like that. Martin adds an anecdote, "Yeah, no, I-I told this to Eva one time, Sophie doesn't cry. Jenny has never- has never seen Sophie cry, ever."
-Eva says, "I think, like, um- [Sophie's], like, lack of really, like, full awareness of what's going on for episode 3- like, seeming really 'dead', the whole time, is like- while it could be seen as like, bad writing, it- I think it also can be taken as a part of her character. And that's also, like, further emphasized in future episodes, and here emotions are just, like really--" and Coral interrupts, saying, "No offense to Martin, but I feel like it's a mix of both."
Martin says, ""Yeah, it's a mix of both. It- the intention of making her seem like someone who wasn't really 'in there', at the time, someone who wasn't really like, aware of what's going on, is just like, barely even phased by it, was there, but it was just mostly bad writing. The way I see it is that, back then I didn't trust the series as much as I trust it now, so I was always making sure that people would understand stuff the way that I intended it to, and that resulted in Sophie just saying everything out loud. Like, 'this is very weird!'"
-Eva talks for a bit about how she gets frustrated when Crystal, Sophie's VA, gets criticism over her performance, when the problem really laid with Martin's writing. She says that one of her favorite aspects of Crystal's performance as Sophie is that she sounds very childlike, not in the way of her actually being a child, but in seeming very much like someone who never really grew out of being a child.
On this topic, Martin says, "Or- to me, more like Sophie being someone who never grew out of being a child- is someone who was forced to grow up very quickly. So, so she doesn't know how to be- she didn't get to know how to be a child, but she didn't get to know how to be an adult, either. So she's, like, stuck and is constantly- she doesn't really know what to do most of the time, because- she doesn't really understand what she's supposed to do and how she's supposed to do things."
-Eva says, "Sophie is like, probably one of the most interesting characters in the series to me, and I can't wait for her to come back, 'cause she's so interesting." and Martin responds, "Oh, yeah! I really- because I think if she comes back, she's gonna feel so different, with like, the new style of writing, and stuff. I think, um, something I really like about Sophie is that, uh, I really like how people think of Sophie like this fucking girl- oh, I mean, back in the day, I don't know how it is now, but back in the day people would think Sophie would be like, this very soft and shy person, but, no, in a way, Sophie's a very mean person! She's like, something I always thought about when it comes to her character is that she is- she has so many weak, like, social skills, that she usually gets very defensive with anybody."
-Eva talks about how Sophie is definitely a very walled-off and antisocial person, and how she tends to push people out of her life, aside from Jenny, and Martin says, "And, like, Sophie fucking hated Jenny at the beginning. [laughing] Like, she didn't hate her, but I remember telling you specifically how they met, and it took a while- not- not a while-while, but it took some time for Sophie to get used to Jenny, and actually start developing feelings for her." Coral compares the evolution of their relationship to the process of taming a feral cat.
-Eva says, "Someone said, 'What animal would Sophie be if she was an animal,' I think she'd be a deer." Martin says, "I think she'd be a WOLF! A WEREWOLF!" Kyle says he thinks if Sophie is a deer, Jenny should be a moose.
-Martin reads a question, "'Besides painting, what other art does Rose make?' Okay, this was an idea from back when Coker was part of the team, that, we wanted to make, like, a third Showstopper album, which was going to be songs composed by Rose. So, Rose was kind of like a songwriter."
-Eva says, "Someone asked for a Richie fact, and asked if he's friends with Chris." Martin hems and haws, going "Oh, I wanna talk about it, but I don't know if I should!", but then says, "Yeah, they're friends."
Kyle says he thinks they would hold hands, "In a platonic way, because it's cold outside." Martin jokes, saying, "I think they would hold hands... in a romantic way!"
-Martin reads a question, saying he thinks Kyle would enjoy answering it, "Is Felix Kranken religious? If so, what's his religion?", and Kyle says he has an idea that Felix isn't religious and never has been, but during his lowest moments in life, he prays. "He is an incredibly superstitious person, so when the going gets really bad, all he can think to do is drop to his knees, and just home that somebody's listening."
Martin says, "The Waltens actually- I mean, Sophie, Edd, and Molly aren't, but Jack and Rosemary are Christian." Eva jokes that she thinks Edd & Molly are Satanists.
-Coral asks what everything thinks is the worst thing Edd & Molly have done, and Martin says, "From the top of my head, like something I'm just making up, I really think something they would do, is they would buy all of Jack's socks, and change them for smaller ones so they don't fit his feet. So he has to go to work with, like, really tiny socks."
-Eva reads a question, "Where's Brian Stells hiding? Like, where's his spirit hiding." Martin and Eva both say that they think his ghost lingered around for a while, but that he probably just died. Like, nothing special happened to his ghost. Eva shares an idea she has, that Bon probably realized, at some point while killing Brian, that he wasn't Sophie, but continued to mutilate him out of anger that he wasn't her.
-Martin goes, "What do you think made him realize [that Brian wasn't Sophie]? I like to think that Bon looked at him, and was like, 'wait, Sophie's not fucking blonde, is she?', and he took like three seconds to remember."
-Eva reads, "Can we get a CyberTelly fact?" and Kyle answers, "CyberTelly used to be a car salesman before he joined Bon's Burgers."
-Eva goes, "Wait, Martin, didn't we agree at one point that Bon would have a ridiculous amount of exes? He's like Ramona Flowers?" and Martin laughs and agrees emphatically. He says, "So fucking funny- Bon has a fucking ex-wife that's literally just a female version of Bon. Like, Bon with a pink bowtie."
-Eva says, "Someone just asked, 'What's Richie's last name', can we just come up with the stupidest last name for him on the spot?". They spitball a bunch of really stupid answers, and land on "Richie Ratterson".
-Martin reads a question, "'Are we going to see Showbear's replacement in 5 & 6?' Yep!"
-They start talking about how Felix has a new voice actor, but at the time of the Space, they hadn't actually told him yet, that he had been picked to be Felix's new VA. They invite him to the stream and tell him live! He's very thankful and very surprised. You can find him on Twitter Here!
-Martin posted this (and deleted it after five seconds) to celebrate Felix's new voice actor. Isn't it nice don't you guys love it
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After posting this he kept going "Toxic Yaoi!" in a very sing-song way.
-Coral complains that they never got kissing art when they became a VA for The Walten Files, so Martin drew this for them, and again deleted it after a couple seconds:
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-Coral talks about a while about how, just before the Space, everyone speaking in the space (minus Connor, Felix's new VA) watched the finished portions of TWF6. They gush for a bit about just how good it was, and how nice it was to see everyone's hard work come together and how glad they are that everyone seems so proud of and happy with the episode.
-Martin answers a question, "Please, Martin, can you draw Felix and "Bon", I'll take it over Jelix, please don't draw that again," with, "Don't worry, don't worry, you're going to see Felix and "Bon", eventually."
-Martin talks for a bit about how he found out PepsiCo supports Israel, and how mad he is, because in Bon's Burgers there's a Pepsi ad on the wall, and it's in virtually every scene, and can't be removed. He apologizes preemptively, saying "I created that map before being made aware of that, so I'm sorry in advance for that."
-In the last minute of the space, Martin attempts a lightning round Q&A session, answering as many questions as he can as quickly as he can. Here are those answers:
-"Would Jenny listen to Ska? Okay, sure, why not."
-"Do Derek Collins and/or Frank Davis appear in 5 or 6? Yeah, Derek appears."
-"Would Sophie be an Undertale fan? No."
-My audio blipped out this part of the recording, so I can't transcribe it, but someone asked who would win in a fight, Jack or Susan. Martin initially answered Jack, but after thinking about it for another moment, decides Susan would probably win.
-"Is Susan and cat or dog person? Probably cat."
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lazylittledragon · 1 year
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i'm going to scream i got accused of being a transmisogynist by someone on twitter because of this specific part of my t4t steddie art
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Kung Fu Panda 4 - The Movie
The last really, really long discussion post (for now).
Major spoilers ahead!
This review is full of spoilers, so please refrain from reading through it until you've watched KFP4. I would highly suggest doing so, as I want everyone to form their own opinions without my influence. The movie has its flaws (some of which admittedly being a bit distracting), but it's a fun film that has things to offer.
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Kung Fu Panda 4 is a fun movie (take that as you will) that takes its audience on an action-packed, surprisingly funny, yet relatively contained adventure on which Po doesn't really do much. It's an inconsequential, safe sequel that doesn't really hurt the franchise but adds close to nothing.
I had a good time watching the movie. It was obviously produced with its theater experience in mind and the action scenes especially reflected that priority. The humor was actually funny sometimes and I enjoyed Po and Zhen's dynamic. During the film, I was able to put most (most!) of my grievances aside and take the movie for what it is. I've discovered that the best way to watch KFP4 is with low expectations and an open mind.
I have a lot of things to say about KFP4, both complaints and compliments (though the former might be taking the forefront in this review), and I hope this review can help those of you who have seen the movie organize your thoughts. I've been having a lot of trouble with that specific aspect of things myself. Those who get it get it.
With that said, let's get into my full review of KFP4! I've been waiting for nearly 2 years to write this and I'm so excited to share every single thought.
I'm going to follow the format of my first discussion post and curate a bulleted list of my thoughts, followed by an analysis of each of these points. Keep in mind that everything I say is IMO and this is more of a rant post than anything else.
Here are my main points:
The Furious Five's role is comically minuscule in the context of the film. Their actions are inconsequential and add nothing to the plot (a confirmed last-minute add), and they have 30~ seconds of screen time. Shifu is also largely irrelevant.
Mr. Ping and Li's presence has little to no effect on the movie (though I won't complain too much because they were pretty fun to watch and this movie has bigger problems). In almost any scenario, I am adamantly against having characters present that don't add anything to the narrative; however, Mr. Ping is an exception. I love Mr. Ping. James Hong is a gem.
Zhen's screen time is not utilized well and her character is underdeveloped. She definitely wasn't annoying, but I didn't find her either compelling or funny enough to warrant the screen time she was given, especially considering it wasn't used to establish a backstory/strong motives. This makes me feel bad for the character because the movie kind of screwed her out of any substantial development.
The Chameleon, while complimented greatly by Viola Davis, is an underwhelming villain. Viola Davis is amazing in this film and I would suggest watching it for her performance if for nothing else, but the Chameleon is underwhelming considering the super cool concept behind the character.
The film feels very rushed. Apologies to those who disagree, but I think the pacing is atrocious and the final fight is anticlimactic. The movie felt like a word-vomit with no discernible intermissions that stops abruptly when the film ends.
I felt as though Po didn't change/grow as a person and the audience never had a chance to either bond with or relate to his character. His internal struggle is kept to a minimum and we don't spend a moment alone with him as an audience, which is disorienting and distracting. Watching the film felt like running into an old friend at the store who's too in a rush to have a real conversation.
The action scenes were strong with few exceptions. Creative art direction was utilized and I thought the martial arts choreography was entertaining and dynamic. I love the color palette of the film and many scenes were very impressive visually.
With my main points established, I do believe it's ranting time. Strap in, folks.
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Let's start strong with the Furious Five: I'm gutted. Chagrined, despondent, crestfallen, etc.
The lack of the Furious Five negatively affects KFP4 so much, because not only does their absence hurt the atmospheric integrity of KFP as a franchise, it also forces KFP4 to bring in a slew of different characters—all while still noncommittally including the FF at the very end because I believe the marketing team required it—that clog up the cast a bit. It all goes to show how important strong, established side characters are.
The Furious Five are side characters, but the role of "side character" does not equate to being irrelevant, expendable, or exchangeable. I recognize that the Furious Five aren't super developed as characters beyond a handful of lines that allude to traits sprinkled sparingly among the members; however, I believe that the tiny bits of development we have been given have proved impactful in the past. Tigress's development in KFP2 is a prime example of how much narratively conscious changes (however small they may be) can positively affect these movies.
Because of limited runtimes, the Furious Five often operate as more of a singular unit than five individuals. Even so, I don't think discarding them is valid. They're so important to the KFP universe (to Po's universe!) and not having them with him feels so wrong. The Furious Five are fully integral to the heart of Kung Fu Panda, which is why I believe a lot of those who have seen the new movie have expressed something feeling "off" or something being missing.
I agree with this sentiment. To me, KFP4 didn't feel like a KFP movie. I don't need a Furious Five spin-off movie and I can be fully content with a KFP5 centered around Po's journey as an individual as was intended from the beginning, but he can't carry an entire movie on his back. As strong as he is in every sense of the word, he is only one character. He's the centerpiece of the franchise, but a centerpiece can only go so far without the rest of the design, so to speak.
For me, the Furious Five's absence is one of this film's biggest faults. It's huge and glaring. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, either, because the friends with whom I saw the film refused to talk about any other aspect of the movie after seeing it. Seeing them at the end was better than nothing, of course, but it was a disappointing culmination after eight years of waiting.
That all is to say I feel robbed. Despite all of this, though, I understand that there were reasons why the Furious Five weren't included in the movie. I don't believe the production team would exclude the Furious Five unless they weren't given a choice.
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Shifu and Po's dynamic continues to be thoroughly delightful but their interactions are short and simplified. I would have loved to see more of them in this film, especially considering the extreme relevance of teacher-student relationships in KFP4. I (somewhat) digress, though, because the idea of Shifu having to live at the Jade Palace with only Po for an extended period of time is hilarious enough on its own. Maybe that's what the short film is about!
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The comedy is odd but has some jokes that stand out. Po maintains a healthy relationship with his inner sass, which I think makes him more fun to watch and kind of eradicates the man-child verdict. Some jokes don't land, of course, but I genuinely thought KFP4 had some funny moments. Mr. Ping was consistently awesome and Po had some good lines sprinkled throughout the film.
As for Mr. Ping, he and Li Shan are the subjects of the film's B-plot as they follow Po to Juniper City out of shared concern for their son's safety. In my mind, they don't add anything to the story that couldn't have been brought about by other characters, but they had their moments of being entertaining. I enjoyed their silliness and thought they had a cute dynamic if nothing else.
Speaking of other characters, I want to discuss KFP4's deuteragonist and why I genuinely feel bad about the way her character was treated.
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I want to let it be known that I'm still not on board with Po passing the Dragon Warrior torch to another character. While I agree that his arc is now calling for him to have a student, I disagree with the notion of him retiring from his DW role.
As I stated in my first discussion post:
Didn’t the initial significance and nuance of the title come from the fact that there is only one person who can be the Dragon Warrior, because the concept of the “Dragon Warrior” isn’t so much a title as it is Po himself? The universe (Oogway) must choose the Dragon Warrior because they are a singular being of legend. It is one person, and that person is Po. Wasn’t the point of the first film that the title ultimately doesn’t really matter because there is no “secret ingredient,” so to speak? The title doesn’t actually give Po anything. “It’s just you,” Po says, and that was the resolution.
When it comes to Zhen as a character, contrary to what I predicted I would think of her, I thought she was okay. While I was still a bit distracted by how out-of-place her design looks, I wasn't truly annoyed by her at any point and she and Po had some cute moments. Even so, I think their relationship could have been a bit more refined and developed.
While it's evident that Po and Zhen are meant to have a teacher-student/mentor-apprentice dynamic, I think their relationship feels half-baked. There were parallels that contradicted one another and ended up being confusing come the film's conclusion, and the nature of their relationship seems to vacillate depending on the scene. Additionally, the strength of their bond goes from zero to one hundred within thirty-ish minutes and left me with a bit of whiplash.
We're shown that Po and Zhen care about one another, but we're never shown why. They have a brief conversation during which they bond over being orphans, and Zhen says at one point, "You're actually a good guy," but that's it. This obvious lack of development is a bit disorienting because we're later led to believe that Zhen and Po care very deeply for one another when there's almost nothing to back it up.
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A scene that sticks out to me when discussing this is when Zhen attack-hugs Po in a way that explicitly mirrors Tigress's hug from KFP2. This happens around the beginning of the third act, and while it had the potential to be an endearing moment, I think it fell flat.
The impact of Tigress's hug was brought on by her character's hardcore nature and reputation of being heartless, further strengthened with the knowledge that she was hugging Po (which was obviously way outside her comfort zone) as a show of companionship and fundamental understanding. Tigress hugged Po because he needed someone to recognize his strive for closure.
Zhen's hug had little to no impact because she had no reason to do it and it didn't indicate growth. She hugs Po because she's sorry for betraying him and doesn't want him to be killed by the Chameleon, but neither of these things are newly-established via this hug; we have already gathered by now that Zhen regrets betraying Po and doesn't want him to get hurt.
The hug is far from the movie's weakest point, but I think it's unnecessary given the context. I'm big on hugs in movies (an underutilized form of platonic affection, in my opinion), but it didn't fit here. I don't hate it, and I see it as an honest effort to bring emotionality to Po and Zhen's relationship, but it seems arbitrary.
Zhen and Po's relationship has a lot of potential and I'd be open to seeing more of them in the future, but I think some more thoughtful development needs to occur before I can humor it further. Even so, I can see myself featuring Zhen in some future post-KFP4 one-shots—sparingly, of course, because we have a lot of Furious Five content to compensate for.
Overall, they had a cute dynamic and some sweet moments but I'm not attached. I'm on board with Po having a student but I think their relationship needs a lot more development, something that this film unfortunately didn't give them time to either accomplish or earn.
Now, onto the Chameleon!
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The concept of the Chameleon's character is admittedly super interesting. She's the deuteragonist's fastidious mother figure who feels that Zhen owes her a debt and as a result holds her to an impossible standard. That dynamic had the potential to be so interesting but I didn't think it was explored at all. There is no indication of Zhen having any internal conflict about fighting the Chameleon, no emotional complexity between them at all; it's disappointing because I think it would've added a bit of earnestness to the film.
Additionally, the idea of a shape-shifting villain is versatile. A shape-shifting villain gives those telling the story a lot of room to experiment with the protagonist and different ways in which the main character can be challenged and tested. It's yet another good idea utilized poorly. Just one idea: the Chameleon could have disguised herself as one (or several) of Po's family, friends, etc. and brought to fruition a new arc with his character (seeing as he arguably doesn't have one in this film), but she only disguises herself as Zhen very briefly in the movie.
Furthermore, the Chameleon completely relies on the powers of previous villains to pose any sort of threat to the main characters. She summons Po's former nemeses from the Spirit Realm (despite there being little logic in doing so considering Kai's literal evisceration) and takes their kung fu abilities for herself.
An excerpt from my first KFP4 discussion post that I think is relevant to the point I'm trying to make:
I don’t think it would be in the best interest of anyone if the past villains were to come back in any way that’s not a flashback (even then, I’m not sure I’d see the point). In all honesty, I thought that the whole point of the villains was that they died and stayed dead. They were defeated by Po once and for all as a testament to the idea of establishing Po's character growth and journey as a person through the bad things he’s able to overcome. It’d be highly contradictory to the messages of the other films if these villains were to suddenly come back.
While there was an honest effort made to portray the Chameleon as intimidating, I never felt as though any of the characters were endangered by either her or her army of lizard henchman. She's a visually appealing character (aside from her eyes, which I thought more resembled those of a gecko than a chameleon) and I greatly enjoyed Davis's performance, but overall I don't see the Chameleon as a notable villain.
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The return of Tai Lung (had he been on his own) had the makings to be an excellent story, especially considering the importance of teacher-student dynamics in KFP4. To see him interacting with Shifu would have been incredible and could have led to further closure on Tai Lung's end (because I think that's kind of what the team was going for anyway), but it didn't happen.
It was nice to see Ian McShane reprise his role, but I wish Tai Lung's characterization had been more reminiscent of the way he was in the first film and more complimentary of his overall character arc. Tai Lung isn't a one-dimensional villain with a singular goal and motivation, and I couldn't help but feel as though the complexity of his character was simplified for the sake of KFP4's narrative.
Tai Lung's presence in KFP4 may be odd, but Shen and Kai's appearances are even more so. Kai, if I remember correctly, was fully obliterated by Po, reduced to literal particles on screen (which is kind of wild now that I think about it). Shen being in the Spirit Realm makes sense all things considered; however, Po and Li had no visible reaction to his presence, which seemed a bit unlikely considering Shen's deeds. This plot hole can likely be attributed to the fact that Shen and Kai's cameos (to my knowledge) were last-minute additions to the movie.
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I have to talk about the pacing. I have to. I'm sorry, bear with me.
To me, the film's pacing is erratic and disconcerting. While I can appreciate a quick-moving narrative that doesn't dawdle on storylines that aren't interesting/important, KFP4 kind of flings itself too far in the opposite direction and ends up being frighteningly fast-paced. Once the credits began, I felt like I had been holding my breath for the entire movie.
KFP4 is confusing because while the runtime is standard for a KFP movie, it feels incredibly short. At the same time, the film's story moves at a breakneck speed and leaves little time for heart and development. These things culminate into a barreling boulder of a movie that simply doesn't have time to let its characters, story, or audience take a breath.
A fast pace is not inherently negative, but I don't think it worked in the favor of KFP4. The KFP franchise has always been very emotionally grounded (and just very grounded in general), so to see a film in which emotion/heart takes an aggressive backseat in comparison to action and comedy is jarring. While I think it's unreasonable for fans to expect the same emotional integrity as the original films to be present in the current and upcoming ones, I still think there's room for Po to grow and I felt as though the notion of him developing further was brushed aside in this film.
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As for Po's growth, I felt it was nearly nonexistent. The previous trilogy wrapped up his character's journey beautifully and I know that KFP4 was bound to struggle with this particular aspect of making another KFP film; however, just because the strongest pillars of Po's character are established doesn't serve as a valid excuse to reverse his development and repeat what he learned in KFP3.
In KFP3, Po learned firsthand that he is capable of spreading wisdom and teaching kung fu. He also learns that he is constantly growing and that change is inevitable; there is always something more to learn.
"If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are now."
"I don't want to be anything more, I like who I am!"
In KFP4, Po pushes against this narrative despite fully accepting it in KFP3, actively reversing crucial parts of his character development achieved in the latter. KFP3 was non-ambiguously about learning to cope with change and responsibility, and I can't help but feel like KFP4 is simply copying this message while not adding anything to it.
Additionally, I felt that KFP4's Po generally felt less personal than he has in the past. In every KFP movie up to the franchise's most recent addition, I felt very connected to Po as an audience member. I felt like I was truly seeing the world of KFP through his eyes. I consider this to be one of the franchise's most impressive feats; it's incredibly difficult to build a universe around a character without making the audience feel limited to one perspective and one part of the world.
With KFP4, I felt both limited and disconnected. The world didn't feel as vast and all-encompassing as it has in the past and Po didn't seem fully like himself. This could be me nitpicking (as I'm prone to do), but I can't recall a single moment in the movie in which Po was alone on screen. Scenes like these are crucial for me because I see them as a meet-cute between the character and the audience, a moment for us to cross the bridge into their world in a way that's silent and intuitive. These little bonding moments are absolutely integral to feeling connected to a character.
Po's dream sequence in the first KFP movie is one of the best examples of this. It presents his aspirations, alludes to his way of life up to the point of the movie, and showcases his personality. During Po's dream sequence, the audience is quite literally inside Po's mind; we're there with him, seeing what he sees, subsequently feeling what he feels. Po is a dreamer at heart and makes the audience feel like dreamers, too.
In KFP4, I felt like I little to no point of reference when it comes to how Po was feeling. I didn't feel immersed in him and his world.
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I know I've been very "doom and gloom" throughout this post, which is an exhausting mindset for everyone involved. I want to end my critique with something positive because I think some praise is deserved. Let's just say the movie could have been a lot worse, the details of which I'm sure you're all well aware.
The color palette of the movie is beautiful and somewhat reminiscent of the first film. While the animation style of KFP4 is far more simplistic than its predecessors, I was very impressed with its use of shadow and light. Po's many faces were also hysterical, props to those who helped make him as expressive as he is.
Additionally, the movie's action sequences were clearly thought out and discussed in great detail. The experimentation with camera angles was really fun to watch and I enjoyed the majority of the film's fight scenes. They were fun, bouncy, and entertaining, and quite likely reinstated audiences's love of watching a cuddly panda kick butt.
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Congratulations, you've reached the end! Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to read this unnecessarily long and detailed review. As long as I help someone translate their conflicted feelings into coherent thoughts, I'll call it a win.
I want to reiterate that I don't hate Kung Fu Panda 4 and I had fun while watching the film. It has its flaws and there are a lot of aspects that I dislike, but the effort of the crew is obvious and I greatly admire and respect the hard work put into the film by those who worked on it. This does not at all excuse my issues with the movie, but it's worth saying.
As for the future of the series, I only hope that the next installment is more considerate of the franchise's origins and why Po's story is being told in the first place. I fully believe that another sequel could be good given a strong, passionate crew with a great understanding of the characters and world (and I wouldn't be averse to some previous directors returning, just to put it out there).
Thanks again to those who took the time to read this crazy excuse for a movie review. Feel free to either disagree with me or add things in the replies/reblogs, I'm always looking for more thoughts to think.
Until next time!
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