#i mean i still am like that sometimes but i gotta be anticipating stuff like that

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Do you know why dogs do that little exhausted sigh when they lie down even when they haven't really done anything that particular day?

I, too, make exhausted little sighs when I flop down and am suddenly extremely comfy!

But, okay, here's what super interesting. I didn't want to just give you a flippant answer, so I started looking up if sighing is a behavior in other species than humans. Because it's always worth keeping an eye out for accidental anthropomorphism. Turns out? The science on sighing is fascinating. Stay tuned for intense nerding out, and maybe a bit more of an answer.

First off, we gotta know what a sigh is.

"The sigh is a deep augmented breath with distinct neurobiological, physiological, and psychological properties that distinguish it from a normal eupneic breath. Sighs are typically triggered by a normal eupneic breath and are followed by a respiratory pause, which is referred to as 'postsigh apnea.'"

In non-jargon, that definition means sighs are a deep breath with a different pattern to it than normal, easy, regular breathing. "Augmented breaths" are frequently used as a synonym for "sighs", and the best definition I found is that "they comprise prolonged inspiration and increased tidal volume followed by a respiratory pause and several seconds of faster breathing. So a longer than normal inhale where you take in more air than normal, then an exhale, and then pause before breathing in again. Oh hey, look, I found a graph!

The graph is super well labeled, but just to be clear: each cycle of the red line is a normal breath, where what's being tracked is the movement of the chest wall. The part where the vertical blue bar is, that's the cycle with a sigh. The red line spikes really high (during inspiration, or breathing in) at that blue patch, and for longer than the normal period of a breath. See how it's almost like two inhales on top of each other - a normal slope and then another upward spike? That's the "augmentation" of the normal breath, almost a double inhale without breathing out in-between. Then, after the red line drops (on the exhale) there's a flat bit. That's the respiratory pause, which the period after the sigh where you wait before you inhale again.

Apparently people have been tracking sighing scientific for like, over 100 years. The first record of it in academic literature was in 1919. And we know some really cool stuff. All humans sigh spontaneously. Even babies sigh! They do it every few minutes, whereas it's less frequent but still pretty regular in adults: one study found about once every five minutes, or twelve sighs an hour.

Okay, but why do we sigh? We only sort of know, because there's a bunch of different things that have to be studied to answer that question. The direct physiological aspect of it is the most well known at this point. You've got lots of little sacs lining your lungs, called alveoli, that facilitate gas transfer from the air you breathe into your blood. They make sure oxygen goes in and carbon dioxide gets breathed out. But sometimes they collapse and deflate, which prevents them from doing their job. When you do a big sigh, the air quantity in your lungs ends up being double that of normal, which inflates them again. So sighing is a way of doing lung maintenance, in a sense.

But there's so much more going on when you sigh than just that! This is the stuff researchers are still working on. They've got some pretty solid conclusions to start, but they're very emphatic that there's a ton more to learn.

Basically, the main hypothesis right now is that sighing functions as a "reset" for your internal state when it's out of balance. People sigh more when they're acutely anxious or stressed, are anticipating a negative outcome like a shock or seeing a negative image, or have chronic anxiety, PTSD, or panic disorders. Higher sigh frequency is also associated with pain: people with chronic low back pain sigh more, and how much they do correlates with how high their pain rating is at the time!

Another aspect of sighing is that it's frequently associated with periods of relief. Studies have noted that people sigh when they're able to relax following tension, like if they're interrupted while trying to do something really mentally taxing, when they finish a task that took a lot of attention for a long time, or if a negative stimulus stops/goes away. The reason behind that is actually thought to be why people sigh so much when they're upset or in pain: sighing doesn't just signal relief, but actually cause it! Some studies have found that people experience a temporary reduction in muscle tension right after a spontaneous sigh. (Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to also happen when you sigh on purpose.)

Sighing is also thought to facilitate behavioral and emotional transitions. The frequency at which someone sighs changes even just when they transition from sitting to lying down. People frequently sigh right before they fall asleep or start to wake up. One study found that people sigh more frequently when they go from a situation of being unable to anticipate what's next to a situation where they know what the outcome will be - regardless of if that outcome is going to be negative or positive! That led the researchers to hypothesize that sighing functions as an emotional reset from states of high internal arousal (a word which here means "the state of feeling awake, activated, and highly reactive to stimuli.") So sighing might not just bring relief when something really intense ends, but it might also help people prepare for upcoming stress.

Basically, researchers think that sighing may contribute to what they call "psychophysiological flexibility." That means that sighing helps keep someone in a physiological and emotional state that matches the situation they're in, and helps the body and mind adapt quickly when something changes. They noted that these types of transitions may involve "anticipatory, activation or recovery responses." In other words: they think spontaneous sighing is relevant not only when you're worried about encountering a leopard in the bush, but when you have to hide from the leopard you tripped over, and then also when you're calming down after the leopard got bored and left.

There's a whole bunch of research left to do about how exactly spontaneous sighs do what they do, but there's also a whole other aspect of the behavior that hasn't really been studied yet: their social function! In humans audible sighing is a salient social signal. (The researchers said the part of the paper addressing this that it is a "lay belief" that sighs have a "communicative function to convey emotions," which makes the whole thing feel like it was written by aliens observing humans from afar). But they did note that sighs for social communications may be totally different from other types of sighs, since the exhalation is often very exaggerated and doesn't always occur in tandem with that "augmented" inhale pattern that spontaneous sighs have.

Okay. So. I've been a nerd forever, but what about doggo sighs? Why do they occur? Obviously, the research doesn't give us a direct answer. The majority of the behavioral / situational research on sighing has been done on people, not animals. But it's pretty well documented lots of animals sigh (it might even be all mammals, I just don't have a citation for that). And some of the studies that have been done on animals indicated that they, too, sigh in relief when negative situations end or unpleasant stimuli go away.

Let's go back to my joke at the beginning of this book I've written. My first instinct was to be like "who doesn't sigh in relaxation when they finally get a chance to rest their bones?" That totally matches what's in the research: getting a chance to rest after activity is often both a behavioral transition and an emotional one, and if there's any physical discomfort being experienced, physical rest is often is a relief.

It seems fairly probable that dogs sigh when they lay down for at least one of those reasons. I can't prove that hypothesis, but it tracks with what the science says so far. The situation you described meets the main identified criteria for sighing: there's the physical transition of laying down, the behavioral/emotional transition of being ready for a period of low/no activity, and the possible relief of pain or discomfort that comes with laying down. We don't have any any evidence (that I was able to find) of species that sigh for other reasons, or sigh in situations that don't meet those criteria. We don't know for sure that this is accurate - this isn't fact, simply my educated guess. But since sighing seems to help muscles relax and relief discomfort, it seems reasonable to me that a good old sigh after the relief of laying down would make the transition to a resting state feel even better.

Sources:

Effects of the hippocampus on the motor expression of augmented breaths

Brainstem activity, apnea, and death during seizures induced by intrahippocampal kainic acid in anaesthetized rats

The Integrative Role of the Sigh in Psychology, Physiology, Pathology, and Neurobiology

Sigh rate during emotional transitions: More evidence for a sigh of relief

The psychophysiology of the sigh: I: The sigh from the physiological perspective

The psychophysiology of the sigh: II: The sigh from the psychological perspective

Affect Arousal

UCLA and Stanford researchers pinpoint origin of sighing reflex in the brain

#science! #dog behavior #sighing #sighs #I want to emphasize this is a hypothesis based on the existing body of research and that I am not an expert in this field #there are times where it is reasonable to look at the existing literature and create theories based on a synthesis of their findings #but this is not something to repeat as known fact #and that differentiation is extremely important in this sort of forum

[desertgremlin]

Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl, I feel you! Yesterday was so wack! I had such an annoying day at work, I was ready to rip my hair out, literally. So you take as much time as you need to respond. Sometimes we just have one of those days that take you out. There must be something cosmic going on because I was not a fan 🤣🤣🤣

I'm almost done with Outer Range, but I'm definitely going to rewatch it. Also, you are so right about Cecilia. She is so interesting and I love the fact that they made her religious. I'm not, but I find characters like that so compelling. I also really love Patricia. I love her no bullshit attitude. She really be calling people out to their face and she isn't even rude about it. She's confrontational for sure, but she only be speaking facts. Gotta respect that.

I'm not sure how I feel about Perry. I sympathize. Obviously he is in a lot of pain. But he also seems like...a little immature? And a little entitled? And as a younger sibling, I sort of relate a lot to Rhett because it's annoying to be younger and have your older siblings be the ones fucking up and doing whatever they want. Like Rhett isn't perfect of course but I feel like people are quick to judge him when he, like....sleeps with a random girl but everyone rallies around Perry when he did what he did to Trevor. Like, the role reversal is not cute. And you know, older siblings should not be parents by any means, but we look up to our older siblings and when you have to be the big brother or big sister it's like, WTF? Hello? So I get why Rhett is resentful and why I am biased towards him. But, again, he is suffering because of Rebecca....which has its own fucked up story. So I'm just a tiny bit skeptical of him.

I KNOW I still have to finish Shadow and Bone and Gangs of London. I promise I will get to them, bestie. I just finished my driving class yestersay and I passed my written exam (96%!) So I just have to take the driving test now. But hopefully now I have a but more free time and I can catch up.on our shows! Just you wait, I'm gonna really be stalking your inbox as I finish everything 🤣🤣🤣

Truly can whatever was going on in the universe yesterday chill out a bit and let us live in peace 😂

But omg CONGRATS on passing your written exam with flying colours! That's so awesome and all the best for the test 💪💪

I had a feeling you'd like Patricia, hahah. What a character. And like, incredible entrance into the show showing up in a helicopter and a fur coat. Talking again about the contrast between the Abbotts and Tillersons, it's cool to see the women of the families be the strong backbones but in v different ways.

Yeah, I feel like the man's really going through it but at the same time,, maybe think a little more about the consequences of your actions. Poor Amy's literally just like WTF is going on, Rhett doesn't deserve to have to bear the brunt of it, plus keeping the ranch is already a struggle without all of the murder stuff on top of it. (Not to mention the hole which is an entirely separate insane conversation.) I'm dying to know what really happened to Rebecca though.

I'll be anticipating your messages bestie! But honestly no rush, I haven't finished Shadow and Bone either, haha. I'm going to try to during this weekend bc I also promised my co-worker I'd be back Monday to talk all about it with them 😂

#ask #bestie anon

[lil-kissy]

You know what I kinda wanna expand on that thought from my previous post about waiting.

Specifically how while I do fully agree with all posts I've seen that talk about being patient, Rping is a hobby and all that others stuff. 100%, support and agree everyone is more then allowed to take whatever time they need to respond.

Rp or otherwise I bet nearly every can understand how things like motivation can wax and wane, and even if you are interested in multiple things sometimes one thing grabs you more then others. Time not allowing you to do everything you want so you gotta sometimes pick and choose.

Basically a more extensive way of being told 'Be Patient'

I completely understand all of it and just about everyone else I've met and know in rpc are pretty well understanding and accepting of it all too.

However there is a flip side that personally I don't think I've seen addressed enough, and even I've kinda touched on it but also tip toed a bit never quite sure how to properly express the feelings without giving the wrong impression or coming off rude.

Which is how hard it can feel being the one stuck waiting, and that honestly as long as you aren't a dick and don't start harassing people/your partners about it, demanding replies that kinda thing, it's okay to feel frustrated or upset.

Because honestly over all the years I've rp'd on here(and off), I get it. Even now I still find myself feeling a little down, even frustrated during a long wait, because let's be real especially if its for something you're excited for waiting can really suck.

True it's also exciting, the anticipation of what's to come but come on no matter how excited you are I'm sure a lot of people would still get bored waiting their turn in a long line for a ride at an amusement park ride.

Or the long wait for a package you ordered to arrived, sure they have the perk of an expected arrival date but its still not set in stone some times it can arrive sooner or later then expected. But who hasn't had moments where they'd wish their package could just arrive immediately despite knowing full while why it's taking the time that it is to arrive.

In someways I'd argue that's kinda similar to at least for me how it can feel. I know what I signed up for and I can promise I'm never mad at nor blame any of my partners for the wait no matter how long, even I've had moments of being the one to (unintentionally) make my partner wait and am always super grateful for their patience.

And just like I know I can't speed up a packages arrival, nor would I dare act like some asshole because a line up is moving slowly, I'd never demand or expect my partner to be faster or other wise act like I'm some how owed a quick response. (Hell no)

However I do believe that there's nothing wrong with acknowledging the struggles that can come along with being on the receiving/waiting end of things. Even if the wait is worth it- which honestly if you're with the right person/people it always will be no matter how long,

If anything at least for me I'd say some if not all the frustration of waiting comes from well the excitement of wanting to continue wanting to keep going but well until that response hits you can't.

Don't know if this is a hot take or not but I think you can be both patient, respectful about waiting for rp replies and understand all the reasons for why but also you don't have to like it and it's okay to acknowledge and admit,

Waiting Sucks.

But feeling frustrated or upset wishing that you didn't have to wait to continue that thread(s) or whatever you're feeling because of it doesn't automatically make you a bad person. It doesn't mean someone doesn't care about their partner(s) and their feelings.

Just don't be a dick about it.

Again this is something I've frequently thought about talking about/ express my thoughts and feelings on but I also really didn't want to wind up giving the wrong impression and come off sounding like some selfish, entitled asshole.

-----

As I hope I've made clear it isn't a bad thing to take whatever time you need and any reasonable rp partner(s) will understand this.

But just as nobody owes anyone a reply and are allowed to respond at whatever speed fits you, and is completely valid to want to be respected for that, the reverse is also true no one owes you their time and yet I know there are a lot of people (me included) who are willing to give the time and wait for our partners but that doesn't always make it easy and just I think that's just as valid a feeling.

If you can respect the time people take to write up a response so to should the time those waited be respected you know.

Not enjoying waiting doesn't make you a bad person / RP partner- being a dick about it does.

#psa #this is just a long time thought that I never knew how to word and feared being taken and twisted the wrong way #like personally I can / do and will always gladly wait for my partners #doesn't mean I like or enjoy it I just am able to accept it as part of the process #for a final example like how it can suck having to wait for a new episode of a show to come out or movie to realse #obviously I'd never want a company to rush it to get it out sooner #but man it can still be so hard to have to wait and suck #I'd say at this point everyone and their dog who's a different person knows and can agree yeh #people deserve to write at their own pace and reply to whatever they like whenever they want #although if it activley does feel like it could be problem maybe idk politley just ask them if anything is going on #if the wait is because of struggling to find motivation to reply maybe its time to start something fresh and move on #or whatever #not a perfect soloution but *communiction* is always a help

[sigridhawke]

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

[Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask]

Deep diving I see! I will try my best to answer 💪💪

Thank you for the ask!

[me coming back after typing it all out lmao] This got so much longer than anticipated so putting it under the cut ✨✨

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

⁃ Fantasy is probably an obvious one, I'm a big fan of fantasy settings especially if it involves dragons. In similar lines when it comes to fantasy, I love looking at I guess common interpretations of mythos/fantasy and seeing what kind of personal spin I can put on it and explore. I think something that is going to explore that most or most blatantly is my original story Crimson (placeholder name) aka unnamed dragon princess and wyvern story to which I'm now bringing a lot of old characters of mine back into as well to really flesh out and explore a self indulgent world. I hope to share more progress on it and the world building in the near future as I flesh out the world before diving back into writing.

⁃ Personal experiences is another, most times I find some event of character interaction that allows me to draw on my personal knowledge and experience for better or for worse. While majority of the time I am writing for myself I still want it to evoke some kind of feeling. Spoilers for Leather and Linen but Atem's death scene, in particular his final moments was drawn from losing my grandfather to cancer. While I wasn't there in his final moments I was informed of certain things and it has always stuck with me. Sometimes these stories are a way for me to make a scene feel more real, or at least try to, I guess other times it's a way for me to immortalize a moment or work through feelings.

⁃ In addition to that most of what I write tackles mental health in some kind of way and also queer experiences and/or romance. Mostly the romance. As a demiromantic I love the progression of relationship and connection and support and falling in love, I find it such a magical thing and enjoy writing about it thoroughly, especially I guess the complexities I myself have gone through as an ace individual although it wasn't really until Leather and Linen too funnily enough I let myself lean hard into the ace experience with Definition of Love which was a little jarring but something I wanna write more of too. Also polyamory whenever I can with my faves lmao looking at Shuraig/Albaz/Ecclesia fic I’m writing atm ahhhhh.

⁃ On less deep notes lol, I think small gestures, particularly hand holding is something that pops up a lot in my stories too. Gentle touches, reassuring touches, if there's and kind of friendship/relationship there's probably touching.

⁃ And many friends would probably hound me if I didn't say I'm a sucker for angst with happy ending. The amount of times I spam the 'I can endure any pain as long as it has meaning' meme is beyond compare haha. I do love me some good angst, but I also don't like being sad at the end of a story so it's gotta be happy (it can be bittersweet) but it has to be happy in some way or I will lose my mind.

⁃ Oh and self sacrifice. I've you've ever seen pullea magi madoka magica, the whole situation of homura going back in time over and over to save madoka. I have a massive bias for this apparently. Intentionally or unintentionally this happens a lot in my writing too.

⁃ Less of a theme and more of a habit, 9 times outta 10 I HAVE to have a floor plan for an area, especially if stuff takes place in a house. It does my head in if I don't know what can be seen from point A in a household if things are happening. I have a whole floorplan for Atem's tomb in Leather and Linen and a floorplan for the Kame Game house for Divine Dragon AU dkfbsjsdg.

There's probably more things but this is already getting super long so we'll leave it here for now :'DD

[Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask]

#This has become a callout post to myself lmao #tags asks and replies #livingthedragonlife #ask game

[dirt-grub]

CAUSE AS LONG AS WE’RE TOGETHER 

WE CAN STAND AND FACE WHATEVER 

KIND OF TROUBLE THIS WORLD TRIES TO PUT US INNNNNNNN

IF YOURE OUT THERE ON YOUR OWN 

YOU MIGHT JUST TAKE IT ON THE CHIN

BUT IF ITS US AGAINST THE UNIVERSE WE WINNNNNNNNN

#hello i am crying<3 #if your movie doesnt have a big musical number about togetherness and family at the end what are you doing #also i am not joking there are tears leaving my face THAT MOVIE JUST GIVES ME EMOTIONS #i think ive posted about this song already but shut up i love it and im making another one #i just rewatched the movie lol #i also made a pnf spotify playlist and every time it comes on i stop everything and rock the fuck out #same with summer belongs to you... and summer (man where do we begin) #lots of songs about summer #OH i learned the second one on guitar!!! #i think its one of my all time favorite pnf songs #just AHDJADKLAJAKLHDSLAJKSD :)))))) #AGH i did it again XD i was like oh let me put something on to wind down before bed and now im more awake and excited #this is exactly what happened as a kid when they were like okay go to bed once the movie's finished! like BRO i need to think about it #although waking up and immediately shaking your friend awake to ask what they thought about the movie is a good feeling lol #wow as kids we would just get up and be READY #now i need like an hour wake up period to like feel like a person and not a zombie lol #i mean i still am like that sometimes but i gotta be anticipating stuff like that #well okay okay now im gonna actually relax #listen to something on youtube or a podcast or something #connor talks

[chrisevansjellybeans]

Promotion | Ransom Drysdale

You get a promotion at work but the celebration doesn't go exactly as planned. Ransom has the perfect way to make it up to you.

Warnings: smut, swearing, ransom being ransom but then soft!ransom

Everyone knew that Ransom Drysdale was an asshole. He was mean, sarcastic and blunt to almost everyone he met. But not with you. Sure, he had his moments but for the most part the Ransom Drysdale you knew, your Ransom, was kind, caring and attentive. He made you smile when you were sad. He would always rest his hand on your thigh when the two of you would take drives in his Beemer. And if you asked extra nicely, he would sometimes share his secret talent of playing the piano for you. To you, Ransom was the perfect gentleman.

Except for tonight.

“You’re being a fucking bitch right now, Y/N.” He snapped as he threw his coat over the chair in the corner of your shared room.

“Oh I’m being a bitch because I don’t want you flirting with the goddamn waitress right in front of me?”

He rolled his eyes as he unhooked his cufflinks and rolled up his sleeves. “You caused a scene.”

You let out a humorless laugh as you attempted-and failed-to unzip your dress.

“A scene? Ransom, I very nicely asked her to back off. You think that was a scene? I could have given you a whole Broadway musical if I wanted to.” You hissed, cursing as you still struggled with the dress.

Ransom grumbled as he stomped over to you and unzipped the stubborn zipper. You didn’t even bother to say thank you as you yanked off the dress and threw it on the floor. You could feel the tears welling up, but you refused to let them fall. Tonight was supposed to be special. You had just gotten a promotion at work. One that you had been working your ass off for the last three months. And now the whole night was marred by an argument that didn’t need to happen.

“God, you are so insecure. It was nothing.” Ransom’s glare was heated as he took in the deep maroon lingerie set you had underneath.

“Why are you being such a dick?” You spun around, angrily wiping away the few tears that fell. “You ruined tonight for me.”

“You ruined it yourself, sweetheart. Grow up.” He snapped. He gave you one last look before walking into the closet and changing into a pair of joggers and a crew neck.

You stood there in utter disbelief. Ransom was never like this with you in the last two years that you had been with him. Had everything before this just been an act?

Ransom completely ignored you as he moved about the room getting ready for bed.

“I can’t believe you.” You muttered. Slowly you began getting ready for bed yourself. You walked into the closet and took off the lingerie, your tears falling as you did so. You carefully set it back in the beautiful box it came in and shoved it to the back of your stuff. You threw on a pair of shorts and one of Ransom’s old hoodies, his scent wrapping you in the hug that he sure as hell wasn’t going to give you.

When you walked out he was already in bed, his reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose which was buried in a book. Silently you walked past him and finished your night routine in the bathroom. When you finished brushing your teeth and washing your face you looked in the mirror and winced. You looked exactly how you felt: tired and sad. Your eyes were puffy and red and your cheeks stained with tear trails. You splashed some cold water on your face hoping it would help but it didn’t do much.

Ransom was in the same position when you exited the bathroom. You walked over to your side of the bed but didn’t get in.

“What are you doing?” His voice was still sharp as he let out a sigh and set his book down on his lap.

Your eyes snapped to his and you just shook your head. You grabbed your phone and the glass of water that was on your nightstand.

“I’m sleeping in the guest room.”

“Now you’re really being dramatic.” He laughed. “So just calm down and get in bed."

“Do not talk to me like that, Hugh.” Ransom’s eyes widened slightly at the use of his first name. “I love you but you have been nothing but terrible to me tonight. And I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you that you can’t let one night be about me and my achievements, but I’m so done with it. So I’m going to the guest room because honestly the thought of laying next to you right now is the last thing I want to do.”

You didn’t give him a chance to respond as you stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind you. Your hand was shaking as you took it from the door. For a moment you didn’t move, waiting to see if he would come for you. But he didn’t. So you straightened yourself up and walked down the hall to your room for the night.

-------

You tossed around the bed, unable to find a comfortable sleeping position. You let out a frustrated sigh as you turned on the bedside lamp. Tears of frustration, sadness and tiredness came to the surface once again but this time you didn’t hold them back. You brought your knees to your chest as you cried into them.

“Baby?” You sniffed and looked up to see Ransom slowly opening the door.

“Go away, Ransom.” You mumbled. You could not go another round with him. Not anymore.

“Honey, I’m so sorry.” He ignored your command and walked over slowly before sitting down next to you on the side of the bed. His hand hesitantly reached forward and brushed the hair that had fallen in your face away before using his thumb to wipe your tears.

“Whatever.”

“It’s not whatever. You were right, Y/N. I was being terrible and for no reason.” He tilted your head up so your eyes met his. You could see the genuine regret that shined through his blue orbs.

“You really hurt me tonight, Ran.” You could feel more tears coming.

“I know, baby. I know.” He frowned as he looked down, the shame eating away at him.

“And I’m not insecure in our relationship. Or I wasn’t...If anything you’ve brought me out of my shell. I just-I feel like it’s a normal reaction to be pissed that your boyfriend is flirting with another woman right in front of you.” Your bottom lip trembled as you defended yourself.

“Oh baby, I didn’t mean it.” He looked back at you. “Everything I said back there I didn’t mean. And that waitress had nothing on you. I shouldn’t have let her flirt with me like that and I shouldn’t have indulged in it.”

“No you shouldn’t have.” You sighed, looking away.

The both of you were quiet as you sat there, his hand now resting on your knee as he traced small patterns with his fingers. You could feel him watching you but you couldn’t look back at him.

“Come back to bed.” He said finally. “Be mad in the morning, but please come back to bed. Let me hold my girl on her big day.”

You wanted to protest but honestly you couldn’t sleep without him.

“Please.” His voice cracked as he squeezed your knee.

You nodded and he gave you a small smile. He stood up and held out his hand. Taking it, your body relaxed as he intertwined your fingers and pulled you close to him. His other hand dipped behind your neck and brought your lips up to his as he gave you a gentle kiss.

“I love you. And tomorrow is all about you. From start to finish.” He whispered as he pulled away, his nose and yours still touching.

“Okay.” You smiled. He smiled back and turned off the lamp before guiding you back to the room.

Once you both were snuggled into your bed, Ransom pulled you close so his body was hugging yours. He peppered kisses down your neck muttering “I love you” between each one. His hand that was resting on your tummy slowly moved down, rubbing lightly over your covered mound.

“Ransom.” You moaned quietly as you lightly bucked your hips.

“Shh, baby. Let me take care of you. Show you how sorry I am.” He murmured against your neck. He slipped his hand into your shorts and he let out a small chuckle.

“No panties? What happened to that sexy set you had on earlier?” He nipped at your ear. His fingers moved down and to his amusement he felt your juices coat his fingers.

“Mmmm. You gotta earn seeing that set now.” You hummed.

“Touché.” He laughed. He ran his hand over your clit and gave it a light tap. “You’re so wet, baby.”

“Ransom, please!” You pleaded.

“You want my fingers in this pussy, honey?” He shoved his leg between yours, opening you up more as he pushed one finger in. You threw your head back as he tortured you with slow thrusts of his finger.

“It’s not enough!” You whined, your hips desperately moving with his hand.

“You want two?” He smirked, slipping another finger in. His thumb made right circles over your clit. “Or maybe three?”

You let out a loud moan as another finger was added. He stretched you out as he continued whispering dirty things into your ear.

“Gotta make sure you’re nice and ready for my cock, baby.”

“Look at you, falling apart on my hand like a good girl.”

“Fuck you’re so goddamn tight, princess. Squeezing my fingers like the good little girl you are.”

“Ransom, please. No more teasing.” You whimpered. You turned your head and captured his lips with yours. It was not a pretty kiss; teeth clashing, tongues fighting for dominance which eventually he won.

“Whatever my baby wants.” He grunted, pulling his fingers out. Your body buzzed with anticipation as Ransom maneuvered your body so you were under him and he was hovering over you. He slid your shorts down your legs and pulled your shirt off, his hands brushing across your nipples as he dragged them down your body. Swiftly he flipped you over so your chest was flush against the mattress, your ass in the air.

“My beautiful, special girl.” He muttered to himself.

“Baby.” You whined impatiently.

“I am so proud of you,” he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance. Leaning down he rubbed the tip of his engorged member through your wetness. “You know that don’t you?”

You didn’t have a chance to respond as he sunk fully into you. You gasped, arching your back and pushing back against his hips. Ransom pulled out just enough to leave the tip in before slamming back into you.

“You feel so good, princess.” He cooed, his thumb brushing over your puckered hole. You let out another whine as his motions remained deep and slow.

“Harder, Ransom. Faster.” Wiggled your butt impatiently.

Ransom growled as leaned forward, his arms entrapping you as his chest laid heavy on your back. The vulgar sound of his cock sliding easily in and out of your warm heat had you nearing your release

“Look at me, baby. I wanna see you when you come.” He moaned out. You turned your head, your lips falling open as you took in his lust blown eyes. Ransom captured your lips in a heated kiss. “Let go for me, honey.”

Your body writhed as you let yourself succumb to the pleasure he was giving you. Ransom raised himself up and continued to fuck you through your orgasm, pulling you to another one.

“Fuck!” Ransom’s hips stuttered as he splayed his hands over your ass. He let out a low groan as he spilled himself inside of you.

Ransom fell to the side of you, pulling you close to his chest. You let out a contented sigh as he ran his fingers up and down your arm.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered into the dark room. Even in the dead of night you could feel the intense gaze of his blue eyes.

“I know, Ran. I forgive you.” You kissed his chest, your fingers now toying with the small tufts of chest hair that you loved so much.

“I love you.” He muttered as he gave you a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

“I love you too. Now get some sleep because we are shopping all day tomorrow.” You teased, knowing full well that a day spent at the shops was the last thing Ransom liked to do.

Instead of a groan, Ransom let out a laugh as he kissed you again. “Can’t wait.”

#chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #chris evans smut #ransom drysdale smut

[tastyykpop]

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 3

Pairings: enemy, barista, student!jaemin x student, barista!reader. 

<previous next>

Warnings: fluff, angst if you squint real hard

Anger and frustration was the only way to describe it. Plus the lingering feeling of humiliation when jaemin didn't give a direct answer. Students eyed the two of you, mostly you for your braveness to even confront the boy which was shocking from their point of view, knowing all too well of your history with each other.

For once though, you've seen jaemin hesitate and stutter with an answer. It was quite something really, and you couldn't believe it.

And it wasnt like it was a yes or no answer, he only blurted out, "W-we have tu-tutor sessions...later...." and walked away after a few seconds of looking at you. God, and everyone was whispering among themselves and friends like it was the hottest topic, which in a strange sense it kind of was.

You dragged yourself back to the table where yeri sat and put your head in your arms.

You felt stupid. This wasn't how you thought your day would go, nor did you think jaemin would say something like that. Instead, you thought jaemin would for sure say yes. The things he said, the way he acted, jaemin couldve passed as your boyfriend and you thought maybe now it was possible.

"Y/n are you okay?" Yeri put a hand on your arm and you shook your head, still buried in your arms.

"I hate him." Your voice came out muffled.

Yeri let out a long sigh, "Its going to be okay. There’s plenty of other guys you'll meet who'll be worth your time." She stopped when you lifted your head. The look on your face was melancholy and red, but she didn't know what she could do about it. "What about that taemin guy? He's pretty cute. And from what you told me, he's super nice." Yeri wiggled her eyebrow suggestively making you groan.

"I don’t want to hurt him." You frowned, not being able to imagine using him as a rebound, "I realized I don’t like him like I thought I did."

"I get it. But don't pain yourself over a boy." She shook her head and let out a quiet chuckle, "especially jaemin."

"But jaemins literally what I want. How am I supposed to ignore that?"

Yeri stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, "Its almost impossible to ignore feelings..." There was a short pause until she started again, "So maybe just...ignore him? I don’t know man, I’m not good at this stuff."

"Yeah no shit," You snorted, "but ignoring him is an option. He gets mad when I do things like that, and ignoring him would get his attention, which means," you took a deep breath and grinned, "I’d get my ass destroyed by him whenever he breaks!"

"That’s literally not at all what I meant by ignoring him."

You sat back in your seat, smiling like a maniac to yourself at the devilish plan that would possibly not end well for you.

"But it could work." You pointed out.

"Could doesn't mean would. You know what, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall." As yeri stood up and gathered her trash, you threw your pile along with hers just to annoy her. "This is why I'm your only friend."

"I thought you were going over jaemins for tutoring?" Jimin asked with a raised brow at your sudden intrusion into the apartment giving him no time to put a shirt on.

"I decided not to go." You shrugged, setting your bag on the floor. In reality, it was just the start of your plan of ignoring jaemin, but you weren't going to tell jimin that.

"Huh?? But you said he was good at trig and you would fail without him." As he tilted his head in confusion, you tried to come up with an excuse.

And not even a second later, an idea popped into your head, "I’m starting to understand it better." It wasn’t far from the truth to be honest, jaemin was doing a very good job at explaining, but in reality, you weren't perfect at all.

"Liar! You suck at trig!"

Your eye twitched, "I understand it slightly better."

"I still don't believe you." Jimin shrugged, "its only been like 2 days."

"I’m a fast learner." You huffed. Sadly your roommate knew you too well for you to lie. It wasn’t surprising anymore that he could point out just one flaw.

"Another lie. Now run along, I’m watching tv." Jimin shoo'ed you away with a hand motion. It took almost all your patience not to say anything in return, but it was pointless now.

Once in your room, you threw yourself onto the bed, not caring enough to close the door as you started changing from school clothes to regular shorts and a tank top.

Now once looking back at it, today was just a weird day. It was quiet in all the classes like someone just flipped a switch and one thing that threw you off the most was that jaemin didn’t ignore you completely like you thought he would, but instead he still helped with the work you were struggling with. Other than that he never talked to you. And it wasn’t like you wanted him to, you actually didn't want him to because of your little plan.

To be expected, you got multiple texts from him wondering where you were and why you weren't at his house and each text got more and more threatening so you just put your phone on silent and decided to take a nap until work. If this is how jaemin acts when you ignore him for barely a day then it should be easier to break him then you thought.

Rolling over in your bed, you closed your eyes, ignoring the aching feeling of anxiousness in your gut and tried to get some sleep. But sleeping was almost impossible. No matter how sleepy you were, or how heavy your eyes were, sleeping just didn't want to come. And you really didn't want to go on your phone because jaemin was calling you and in a matter of time you would probably answer it because you were just a little afraid of him.

Moving out of the bed and getting ready for work was your last option. Though the amount of black pants and white shirts that were lost from your closet made you realize how much you actually worked. The last time you had a day off was during summer vacation with jimin and a few of his friends plus yeri. Its been a while, and you kind of missed the break but you can't complain too much since you're making such good money.

After throwing on the clothes and lacing up your shoes, you left after saying good bye to jimin. Its still early, but you couldn't bring yourself to pass time until work and going there wasn’t as bad as one may think.

After you got in the car, you left the apartment, driving off to the cafe. You blasted some of your music on the way, singing the lyrics loudly since no one was in the car. You gotta say, driving alone is sometimes more fun since you can do stuff like this without people judging you.

Finally at the cafe, Irene happily greeted you, not giving you time to say hi back and started jumping up and down talking about her promotion to manager. She literally looked like she'd explode any minute from too much happiness.

"I get to boss you around even more than I did before." She grinned and you playfully shoved her to get to your station.

"If that’s possible." A little fist punched your shoulder as you laughed, "I’m kidding, I’m kidding."

"Hey, I'm not that bad! But I could be worse if you’d like." You covered your mouth to stifle the laugh that would come out when she sent you a wink.

There were many orders coming up, food, smoothies, coffee, anything. It kept you, irene, and your coworkers in the back completely occupied and busy. Youd even catch yourself drifting off into space because you were working too fast, almost messing some orders up too.

"I can bring this to the customer, go work on the other orders please." Irene rushed away after you smiled and did what she wanted.

Moments passed and after a few more drinks you saw the familiar black haired man walking into the back where you stood making a drink.

Jaemin didn't look all too happy when he saw you, so you tried your best to ignore him, but its not easy to ignore someone who’s been on your mind the whole day and somehow you're just figuring that out now.

He looked nice too, well he always does, but his black hair looked particularly very good. The way it was parted yet still fell over his face on some ends, and the way some parts stuck out just looked pretty on him.

"You’re here early...again." jaemin spoke while looking up at the orders, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"I was kind of bored at home." You muttered, moving as jaemin reached over you for a cup.

"Should’ve came to my house to study, maybe you wouldn't have been so bored." He lifted an eyebrow in your direction almost tauntingly and expecting a snap back but you stayed quiet, keeping it silent for a bit.

Jaemin was doing his order, and you did yours, though it did feel like time was just dragging you slowly through the day because you were so anxious near him. You felt as if he would break if you stepped out of place even just a bit. But wasn’t that your plan in the first place? 

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Jaemin began and you looked up from the last drink you put in the tray. He had anticipated your answer as you suspired.

"I was sleeping.."It was obvious that you didn’t want to talk as you tried to walk away with the tray in hand followed by jaemin grabbing your shirt and pulling you back, the tray tipping slightly.

"Sleeping? How could you be sleeping when you read my texts? Now why are you lying to me?" Question after question, you tried wiggling out of his strong grasp and rolled your eyes to show you didn’t care. With only so much patience left, jaemin grabbed your hair, bringing your face closer to his. "I asked you a question so i suggest you answer before I spank your ass in front of everyone."

You stopped and nervously looked around the cafe to see if anyone heard him, but luckily for you everyone was minding their own business or not paying attention but still you couldn’t mask your shyness, "Y-you wouldn't do that. You're bluffing." You huffed.

Though you're not much shorter than jaemin, you felt small under his strong gaze, almost weaker near him too.

"Wanna bet?" He questioned and his sincerity was almost scary. You could feel his hand snake a bit too far down your backside and you pushed him off. "Answer me; why are you lying?"

"I don’t know." He slowly let go of your hair and ran his fingers through it. Nervousness fell over you, thinking he'd grab it again.

"You don’t know, huh." Jaemin said softly. You shook your head hoping he'd believe it.

"I-i don’t.."

Jaemin rolled his eyes, "Don’t lie or ignore me again."

"Yeah yeah whatever-" You cried when he grabbed and tugged on your hair again, making your face contort in pain, "Okay! Fine! I wont do any of that again!"

That being said, jaemin let go after giving you that natural look telling you not to push him today, or any day for that matter. "Little bitch." You mumbled.

"Call me that again, I dare you."

It took almost all of your self control to not flip him off.

Lee jeno, the infamous frat boy and fuck boy on campus, was jaemins closest friend. He was gorgeous, kind, and smart, but one thing that set you off about him was he could be quite rude. Just one flaw, and it happened to only be towards you. So you wondered; 'why the hell am I asking lee jeno for help when there's a hundred more men in this school?' Because jeno was jaemins closest friend. Plain and simple. The only thing is, your brilliant plan could fail. Either way it was a fifty-fifty chance.

"Lee jeno!" You called and ran up to the boy, confused as to why you looked happy to see him when you and him don't really like each other. "I have a question."

"I might have an answer." Jeno surprisingly smiled, now you see why people were whipped.

"I want to make jaemin jealous."

He stopped in his tracks and nervously laughed, "Why would you want to do that? Of all things?"

You smiled up at him, "I wanna be a pain in his ass so I have an idea and I need your help." Jeno scratched the back of his head, still not sure where you were headed with this conversation.

"Uhh...okay what is it then?" You happily jumped when jeno gave you the go to ask.

"Can you be my fake boyfriend?"

"You’re who-what!?" Jeno choked trying to find a hint that you were joking and just testing him or something, but you were dead serious and that's what made him scared. "So you’re plan to make jaemin jealous is to date me? Damn that’s kinda smart and bit bitchy."

You frowned, "I just like making him regret certain things and testing his patience is all."

"So a bitch," he shrugged, " but how the hell would this whole thing work? You and I don’t have a really good record with each other and hes well aware of that. Jaemins not dumb." Jeno pointed out as you tilted your head in almost a ‘you’re so stupid’ manner.

“Didn’t you take acting lessons?” There was a slight delay but he nodded nonetheless, “Then just act the part, lee. Its not that hard.” you rolled your eyes with a scoff, jeno playfully slapped your shoulder.

“Its not that simple! Its you for gods sake! How am i supposed to pretend to like you?”

“I dont know, you just do it.” Shrugging off the almost annoyed yet smiling boy, you noticed someone out the corner of your eye; the devil himself. Just staring at the two of you. Surprisingly, jeno took notice of that and grabbed your hand while walking close to you, never letting his smile fall, and walked around the school building to a bench.

"That was smooth." You mumbled earning a laugh from jeno. "See, was that so hard?”

The boy rubbed the back of his neck nervously with an eye smile, “I guess not, but do you really think he’ll fall for it?”

That was a good question and if you sat and thought about it more, you probably would’ve said no, but for some reason you pushed out a yes. Jaemins a jealous and possessive boy, there’s no way this shouldn’t work.

“Hell yeah. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“Well-”

“Don’t answer that.”

Currently, you and jeno were awkwardly flirting with each other in front of jaemin at the cafe. Light touches and small smiles and giggles was kind of annoying in jaemins eyes. But this was the best plan yet.

After not going to jaemins third tutor session and ignoring multiple other calls because he didn’t bother texting anymore, you were at the cafe on your day off just to piss him off. And for some reason, this was probably the most fun, yet awkward moment in your life.

"Is he still watching?" Jeno whispered as he smiled to make it seem as if he was flirting.

You quickly glanced up and jaemin was indeed still watching, actually glaring, but you couldn't even tell if it was at you or jeno, maybe even both.

"Hes still watching." You turned and grinned at him. "He looks very mad."

"I know something to get him more mad."

"And what would that be?" Raising an eyebrow at him, jeno suddenly grabbed you by your face and kissed your cheek.

"Now look back and tell me if hes still there."

You were shocked but did as he said and sure enough, jaemin was no where to be seen, "Hes gonna kill us..."

"No just you, I’ll be gone by then." He laughed when you sent him a glare. "This was your plan not mine."

"And this will for sure end my life later on," You faced jeno, "When was the last time he was really mad?"

Jeno sat back to think about it and let go of your hand that you forgot he was holding, "He got into a fight with one of our friends just a few months ago. You know donghyuck, right?"

You nodded your head. Of course you knew donghyuck, he was the biggest brat of them all and out of every one of jaemins friends, you got along with him pretty well, turning out to be very good friends. You haven't talked to him in few weeks though, college kind of messed some things up for you guys but you still try to keep in contact as much as possible.

"Well a few months ago jaemin and hyuck got into this huge fight."

"Was it as bad as that time mark and hyuck fought?" You asked and jeno shook his head.

"No it was probably worse. Jaemin was almost in a fist fight with him--actually no I think they did end up physically fighting." Jeno sighed, "Anyways jaemin was super cold to everyone and got into a lot of fights with some other people like me," he giggled at the thought, "It was also around the time he dumped coffee on your head."

Only jeno could bring back that stupid coffee incident and make you remember when you wanted to commit a murder.

"That was one of the worst things hes done to me don’t make me think of that." You whined, throwing your head back, "And hes done a lot of bad things."

Jeno grinned, he was standing next to jaemin at the time laughing at you. In his perspective it was funny, but for you, it was not.

"Not gonna lie it was kind of funny, but I did feel a bit bad."

"Woah. You felt bad for me!? Who the hell are you?" You said dramatically making jeno throw his head back in laughter.

"Someone who actually has remorse," He looked you up and down before starting again, "for some people."

You huffed, "And to think you were becoming nice." Jeno giggled one last time but it quickly faded away when a hand slammed on the table.

Both of you looked up at the boy with jet black hair, he was none too happy with all your laughing and 'flirting', and wanted to interrupt it the best he could.

"Hey jeno," jaemin nodded his head in his friends direction, somehow managing to make his anger dissolve into a real smile.

"Whats up?" Jeno smiled.

You sat back staring at the two, jaemins eyes were locked onto jenos and his hand was still sitting there. They were like statues.

"Oh you know...working and watching you dumbasses flirt." Jaemin painfully grit his teeth, still holding a smile and you tried not to laugh.

Out of all things you found cute, it was jaemins poor attempt at trying not to be angry or jealous. It was like watching a rom-com but in real life.

"Its disgusting." Jaemin mumbled.

He turned towards you, but with no smile like you didn’t deserve one which in this case you was probably true since this was your idea in the first place.

"I've never seen you come here on your day off. Isn't that a bit strange?"

"Jeno wanted something sweet," you lied, "and we have the best sweets. What, can I not come here on my day off?” Man did jaemin find you annoying right now. It was getting to the point that talking to you was becoming a chore. Either he couldn’t talk to you because you ignored him or you started speaking in ways that made his eye twitch.

"You're gonna be in so much trouble later." Jaemin muttered low enough for you to hear. Jeno smirked at jaemins words too, knowing this was working way too well for you. "I should get back to work before irene gets mad and you guys should get going too."

You raised a brow, "And why is that?"

"Jeno always brings his dates home to fuck."

"If you're jealous then just say it." You growled.

Jaemin looked between you and a red faced jeno and snickered, "Im not jealous, I already had my turn." He winked and walked away leaving you and jeno staring at each other with wide eyes.

"I...feel like this didn’t go as we intended.." jeno laughed but with no emotion, almost in a sadistic way.

You puffed out your cheeks, not sure what to do now that jaemin was playing like this too.

"I should bring you back home." He started standing but you grabbed his hand to stop him.

"No wait.” He looked down at you, “Isn't there a party later?"

"Yeah?" jeno tilted his head, wondering why you’re asking this question when you never go to any of the frat party’s.

"Lucas is throwing it right?" Jeno nodded his head and you perked up, "Can we go?"

It was a strange request, you never wanted to go to any parties because you worked and studied whenever you felt the need to, so parties were never on your mind. But right now, you felt that a party is what you need. You've never been but it can't be that bad if you're with someone. And you even know the host so there should be other people you know too. It would be fun anyway.

"If you really want to, but you might lose me at some point."

"That’s okay," your face said otherwise, "I’ll try to find someone I know." It wasn’t likely that you would, but you knew that the main people who were going to go was hyuck and lucas. There was also jaehyun and johnny, the only thing was you didn’t know them as well as hyuck or lucas and ever talked to them a few times. They were nice, but you probably wouldn't go up to them and strike up a conversation.

"Alright then let's go, the party’s gonna start in like two hours. And seeing how long it took you just to get ready for this stupid date, you’re probably gonna need it." Jeno pulled you up by the hand that stopped him before, and you both walked out of the cafe.

You got into jenos car and put on your seat belt waiting patiently for him to drive off. The only problem was that he was busy on his phone, trying to find music to play.

"Don’t look at me like that." Jeno did a double take at your unamused face that clearly stated you wanted to leave so you can get ready for the party.

"Then pick a damn song and let's go." You smacked his thigh repeatedly causing him to groan and put his playlist on shuffle, driving off after hitting play. "See, that wasn’t so hard now was it?"

"Your’e annoying. I cant believe i even said yes to this fake dating thing. Now I see why jaemin didn’t respond."

"Hey that's not very nice," you pouted, "and don't make me think of that for God sake, its depressing."

"Good now shut up and let me drive." And so you did, letting just the music and jenos quiet singing be the only thing playing in your ears.

It was a quick ride anyway from your job to the apartment, jimin was doing his normal thing which was sitting on the couch shirtless and watching dramas. The little up and down he gave jeno wasn't unseen by you either, but you never commented as you walked by with a smirk.

Jeno was close behind you too almost like a lost puppy. He even sat on your bed and watched you apply a bit of make up for the party and lazily lounged about as you picked an outfit, not sure whether to go with an innocent pink flowy skirt, or black ripped jeans.

"I like the skirt better," jeno hoisted himself on the bed, "it gives me better access-"

"Don’t even think about it!" You whipped a pillow straight to his head, he wasn’t quick to dodge as it hit him perfectly where you wanted it to, "I’m about to choose the jeans."

The boy tilted his head as he pouted at the two choices in your hand, Jeno preferred the innocent look on women but this wasn’t for him--in fact it wasn’t for anyone except yourself, but he couldn’t stop from staring at the pretty baby pink skirt.

"How about you try them on and pick which one you think looks better on you." He smiled that eye smile of his after having a little war with himself.

You nodded your head and rushed to the bathroom to throw on one of the bottoms first.

Once you came back, you stood in front of jeno with the jeans on and checked yourself out in the mirror. It hugged your waist sweetly and complimented your legs well, but you didn’t think this was going to be the winner out of the two.

"Okay maybe a skirt would look better." You whispered loud enough for jeno to hear.

"Told you! Skirts suit you better anyways." Jeno sat against the headboard in victory as you went back to change into a skirt. The only thing left was a top, but jeno seemed to already have that covered when he threw a white laced bralette at your face. "This is cute." He made heart eyes at the bralette you held up.

"It is but don't you think it would show too much?" You questioned, though you couldn’t lie that you were a bit tempted to wear it though it did cut a bit low.

"Dude its fine, a lot of other girls wear way worse stuff than what I just gave you."

You decided to trust jenos words, and left to put on the shirt. Unsurprisingly it looked amazing with the skirt and your beautiful skin. So maybe jeno was good at picking clothes out, but you wouldn't tell him that.

After doing any last few touches you had, you and jeno left after saying goodbye to jimin, who was still checking jeno out, and left for the party.

"You’re not gonna change?" You wondered as you sat in the car.

Jeno shrugged and smiled, "I’m a guy so I don't care what I wear."

"Thats cap."

Jeno rolled his eyes and began driving to the destination. Sometime during the ride you snatched his phone to find a good song to play, ignoring the boy who whined as you took it from him.

After finding a song and placing the phone back down, you carelessly started belching the lyrics out to purposely irritate jeno who was struggling to not pull the car over and leave.

"Y/n, who sings this song?"

"Michael Jackson, why?"

"Please keep it that way."

"I-"

"And we are here!!" Jeno slammed on his breaks and peacefully left the car as if he didn’t just insult your singing. You got out, a bit intimidated by the crowd of people standing outside dancing with drinks in hand while others smoked. Girls all in tight shirts that hugged them perfectly or the shorts that made their ass pop almost literally. Boys being boys by taking shots or chugging their beer in competitions. This was all new to you and somehow you found yourself clinging onto jenos arm like a little girl.

"Is it always this crowded?" You looked up waiting for his answer.

"Yeah but that's because it's lucas' party. He always knows how to bring people in," he looked around at some of the unfamiliar faces that were chilling by the entrance, "c’mon let's go inside."

Jeno dragged you in like you were the lightest thing and passed you a cup once at a table filled with drinks.

"Want something. Maybe a shot?" Jeno winked as you scoffed.

You looked between the variety of drinks, they were all too strong or too bitter for your liking because of your lack of drinking so it only made your face scrunch, "These are all disgusting."

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you're a light weight!" Jeno complained but needless to say he still grabbed your cup, barely filling it with some alcohol and handed it back.

You looked at the somewhat dark liquid and sniffed it. Not the sweetest scent, but it is what it is. Tilting your head back, you drank the small amount that jeno gave you and he watched with wide eyes as you coughed at the intense flavor. Something like a mix of cinnamon.

"...you just drank fireball.." jeno mumbled but you were still focused on the burning sensation in the back of your throat. It definitely isn’t a smooth drink and its fairly strong, something you can't take, but you shook the cup in his face for more, "Are you trying to get wasted?"

"Well we are at a party-"

"Y/NNN!!!!" A voice interrupted the conversation and you both turned to see none other than lucas himself running towards you with wide arms, two cups in hand, and a huge smile on his face. "I haven't seen you in so long!!" Lucas engulfed you in a bear crushing hug making jeno laugh behind you.

"You saw me last week." You said in his chest, still being crushed by the giant.

"That’s a long time for some people, be considerate man." Lucas let go, drinking out of the cup in his right hand. "So what brought you here? You never come to parties."

"I asked jeno-"

Lucas spat out his drink, "Jeno!?" He looked behind you to jeno smiling and waving at him. "I think i drank too much cuz im seeing shit." He stared into his drink.

Jeno chuckled and took the other drink out of lucas' hand, "You aren't seeing things." He started drinking from the cup and Lucas frowned watching the younger. "She just wanted to come with me for some reason."

Lucas looked at you and you nodded back, "Then now that you're here, get drunk so we can play games."

"More fireball?" Jeno lifted the bottle up and Lucas nodded.

"More fireball."

You shouldn't have taken more than 2 shots of fireball. It was impossible for you to think straight, in fact, you found yourself sitting on jenos lap with him being equally as drunk, well, maybe not as bad but still pretty hammered. 

There were even times where you both would start flirting with no context. From someone else's point of view, it was probably funny, but to you and him, it was like you wanted to get into each others pants.

"Look," jeno lazily pointed over to the entrance where seulgi walked in with jaemin close behind. "I have a plan if you wanna do it."

"Hmm," you frowned at the two, jaemin was smiling at seulgi who was talking his ear off and giving him subtle flirtatious hints while she walked to the drink table, "Sure what is it?"

Smirking, jeno moved his hand lower on your waist, "Promise you won't kill me after this?"

"Depends on what you're gonna do."

Jeno reached to take a sip of beer, knowing that after this night he'd be throwing up from all the drinking, "Ill do it when he looks over."

A drunken pout sat on your face as you were so curious to know what he had in mind, but jeno still grinned at your behavior, rubbing up and down on your waist.

What shocked you the most was when jeno suddenly put his lips on yours. You've figured out by now that this was his plan so you didn't push him off.

Though you couldn't see it, jenos was staring into jaemins eyes as he smirked against your lips. It was like he beat jaemin at something and came up to the top for once. But you were too focused in making out with jeno to even notice the burning eyes in your back, watching as jeno gripped your hips and kissed you back hungrily like a devil. He tasted like alcohol and you couldn't say you were any sweeter, but maybe it was the intoxication that made you start to enjoy this moment a little more than you should’ve.

"W-what the hell...?" Jeno pulled back hesitantly looking behind you. Trying to look back, jeno took you by the face making you look at him, "Please only look at me."

"Whyyyy?" You leaned into his hand and jeno almost softened up but clenched his jaw in return.

"Drink some water." He changed the subject, handing you his bottle of water that he kept with him the entire time for whenever any of you needed it, and right now seemed like the time.

You swatted his hand away, almost spilling the water and started, "But I wanna look."

"Unless you want to see jaemin shoving his tongue down seulgis throat, I suggest you don’t."

"Hes what!??"

Jeno giggled like a little school girl probably from your furious face, "Its what you get, so don't even get mad when you do the same thing."

"But you’re the one who kissed me first, I only went along with it." Your growled and took a heavy chug from the water you pushed away. "I’m mad at you."

"Should’ve pushed me off."

"I figured you did it for a reason."

"Then don’t get mad."

"I- you- I'm gonna be mad!!"

Jeno rubbed his temples like you were the most infuriating thing known to man. He doesn't know how jaemin could put up with you and hes amazed how far he got with your antics. It was ticking him off but he didn't want to just drop you now, it was still somewhat fun.

"We should go dance." You looked towards the many groups of sweaty people grinding on each other, having a good time enjoying the party. You sighed, it would be fun you thought. 

Jeno perked up at your sudden mood change noticing how you weren't in the slightest mad anymore, now registering that you have mood swings when you're drunk or tipsy.

"I don’t dance."

"Don’t lie! You're literally a dancer, c’mon!" You got up off his lap and hoisted him up, bringing him to the dance floor. He placed his hands on your hips as you moved against him, just letting the music flow through you and let your body move on its own.

You didn’t actually care if jaemin saw you grinding on his best friend because right now, you were actually having fun. Maybe it was because you were wasted or maybe it was because of the excitement and happiness here that made you love it so much. Either way, you found joy just dancing with jeno.

"Isn't this fun?" You moved your head to smirk at him, but jeno seemed a bit uncomfortable.

"Maybe if you weren't grinding on me, I'd say yes, but right now it's a hard no."

You knew what he meant and that’s why you pushed back a bit. Stopping when he gripped your hips in a way that hurt a bit.

"Stop it y/n." He whispered in your ear.

You whined and said, "Make me." Jeno stood back, not sure what to do right now. He may be a fuck boy but he has boundaries. Plus you’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying.

"We should go home."

"But I wanna dance and have fun with you!!" You voice came out slurred and jeno automatically took another step back.

"Not gonna happen, you’re wasted." Grabbing your hand, he walked towards the front door so he could bring you home, but of course this would be the perfect time for jaemin to stop him.

"Whats wrong with her?" His voice was laced with concern seeing your current state; droopy eyes, and a way too happy smile.

"Shes drunk so I’m taking her back home." Jeno tried walking passed but jaemin stopped him again. If jeno wasn’t as drunk or tispy, jaemin probably would’ve let him bring you back, but jaemin couldn’t be so sure and wanted you safe. Plus, he may or may not be a bit mad at jeno.

"No stay, I can bring her back." Jaemin pushed, not because he wanted to show you discipline for the last few days, but because he was genuinely worried for your current state.

"What about seulgi?"

Jaemin looked back at the girl who was now talking with some of her friends, clearly not paying attention or taking notice of his disappearance. "She'll be fine." He brushed it off, "Lemme take y/n."

It took a few seconds for jeno to let go of your hand and stand back for jaemin to take you before you fell over. But he was so gentle with you, and because of that jeno was sure jaemin wouldn’t do anything bad to you.

"Be careful." Jeno said, jaemin nodded back and walked away with you slightly stumbling down the stairs just after he said that.

You started giggling at yourself while jaemin was actually struggling to keep you up. Somehow though, he made it to the car before you tripped and out your seat belt on before climbing in the drivers seat.

"Nana, where are we going?" You slurred.

Jaemin smiled at the little nickname you never used, "To my house if that’s fine with you."

"Your house is nice." Leaning against the window, you rested your head as you started zoning out.

Jaemin didn't mind though, he wanted you to get some rest, at least before he got to his house so he could put you to bed. But it wasn't like you'd sleep for long because the drive was only 5 minutes. 

When jaemin started carrying you out, that was when you started putting up a fight. Not only was jaemin try his best to not get angry, but he also tried to reason with himself when you started whining and pushing him away. Either sweet talk or show who's in charge.

"Y/n please cut it out, I’m just bringing you to my room." Jaemin groaned, struggling to keep you still in his arms.

"But I wanna walk."

"You can barely walk right now."

You didn’t care and continued moving around and kicking his arms away trying to get him to put you down, but just like you--he was stubborn and he carried you the whole way to his bed.

Softly putting you down, he went to grab some clothes for you. When he came back you already discarded your skirt and were about to take your bralette off until jaemin stopped you.

"What are you doing?" He pulled your hand away from the strap.

"I wanna play with you."

Jaemin shook his head at your sad face and pulled your body closer to his so he could start getting you changed, "Its almost 3am and you're drunk." but you whined once he rejected you.

“So what? Im still giving you my consent anyway.” You said, smiling at him as he took your top off, quickly putting a shirt on to cover you up. He wondered how you could wear such a tight top without feeling uncomfortable.

“You're not giving me full consent, y/n. I’m not gonna take advantage of you.” He stepped away after dressing you. Jaemin had only put a shirt on you and just left you in your underwear since it seemed the most comfortable. 

Jaemin changed too, only wearing sweatpants and no shirt because he was most comfortable that way himself, and crawled into bed with you. Somehow you found yourself already snuggled into his chest, breathing in his delicious cologne.

“Goodnight nana.” you mumbled into his chest.

“Goodnight princess,” jaemin hesitated for a second before speaking again, “nana loves you.”

You woke up to a painful headache and an empty bed. You knew where you were at least, but didn’t know how you got here. The last think you remembered was sitting with lucas, jeno and some other people playing a game of beer pong. That was probably when you got hammered, but why where you at jaemins house?

As much as you wanted to sit up and go find jaemin, your headache is what kept you in bed.

“Jaemin!!” You screamed, the sound of feet came running up the stairs.

“What is it? Are you okay? Do you need water? Medicine?” Question after question and jaemin seemed worried at your distressed state.

“Medicine and water would be nice actually.” You murmured and jaemin was already on his way to get what you needed.

Jaemin handed you two pills and a glass of ice water. You thanked him and took them, swallowing both the pills and the water at the same time.

“Do you need anything else?” His face still held concern and you almost wondered why he wasn’t mad at you like he had been for the past few days. Though you easily brushed it off as a sign that maybe he let you off the hook.

“No I’m good now.” You shook your head causing jaemin to sigh in relief and fall on the bed next to you. He gave you space, letting you cuddle and wrap yourself up in his blankets assuming that you were trying to find ways to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. And as much as he wanted to hold you, he was almost too scared to. It was funny really. Jaemin; the most out-going yet introverted person ever, was too scared to touch you right now.

Maybe it was his feelings getting the best of him or maybe he was too scared to finally fall in love with someone hes afraid of hurting in the end.

#nct #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #nct crack #nct scenarios #na jaemin #na jaemin smut #jaemin #jaemin smut #nct dream #nct dream smut #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct u #nct 2020 #wayv #wayv smut #lee jeno #lee jeno smut #wong lucas

[calpalirwin]

Adventurous Spirit

Summary: Ashton becomes more and more of a (lovestruck) hippie.

Word Count: 1.6k

And away, and away we go!

__

Ashton’s adventurous spirit was what had drawn you to him in the first place. Sometimes you weren’t sure what he loved more: being a drummer or being able to travel the world as a result. All you knew was Ashton seemed most at home when he was on the road, making the most of every moment, and you were an absolute sucker for someone who loved life with that much fierceness.

With tour dates lined up, and studio time charted out, life at home buzzed with the excitement of what was to come. Then, the world shut down.

The first week, you watched anxiously as Ashton paced about the house, phone glued to his ear as plans B through Z were discussed and refined, tension slowly building up in his neck and shoulders. But with an album release so close, the feeling of restlessness didn’t get a chance to settle in, and for that you were grateful.

About a month and a half into lockdown, you found him sitting on the couch, staring blankly into space. “Hey,” you said softly, sitting down next to him, and pulling him out of his trance. “You good?” you asked, your fingers dragging slowly up and down his arm.

“Hmm?” he questioned, giving a small shake of his head. “Oh… Yeah, I’m good, I guess.”

“You guess?”

Ashton shrugged. “It’s hard to put into words. Like, I’m thankful for the time to slow down. Because I know I sometimes worry you with how much I work. And my body could probably use the rest. But not knowing how long this lasts is… It fuckin’ sucks. Because there were a lot of things I always said I’d do if I just had the time. And now I do. But how much time? How long am I stuck here?”

“Well” you started with a slight teasing tone, “I’m pretty sure you have time to make a garden, and get some chickens if you’re really dedicated to that.”

He giggled lightly, then sighed. “I just hate not knowing. I don’t want to lose myself.”

“Oh, I don’t think you need to worry about that. Just take it one day at a time, and go from there.”

“I suppose that’s true. And hey, I got you, right?”

“Of course,” you smiled at him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good. Cuz I need you more than I can put into words.”

“I love you too, Ash.”

~~~

You both stared at the box of Superbloom merch, you in awe, and Ashton somewhat dejectedly. “Oh, c’mon!” you urged, nudging into his shoulder. “You could be a little excited. You worked hard for this.”

“I am…” he defended. “But I want to do more.”

“More with the release? Or more solo stuff?”

“More with the release. I want to celebrate. I want a chance to play it live. I want everything the guys and I wanted with Calm, and this shit,” he thrust an angry finger in the direction of the window, “won’t go away!”

“So let’s celebrate.”

“How?!”

“We get tested, and we get out here for a bit. Camp in the desert under the stars for a few nights. I dunno. We’ll figure it out.”

“That… is not half bad. But that only solves one of my problems. I miss performing, babe.”

“Virtual concerts are a thing, you know.”

His eyes lit up in a way you hadn’t really seen for months, before he was kissing you passionately. “You! You’re a fuckin’ genius!”

You laughed against his mouth. “Thanks, I try.”

His forehead knocked against yours, his eyes holding yours steadily. “You are everything to me.”

~~~

If there was a downside to suggesting a weekend getaway for the Ashton’s album release, it was that it revived his desire to travel, and the desire was now stronger than you ever remembered it being.

“You’re becoming a hippie,” you joked as you guys woke up in the back of a pick up truck in the middle of nowhere.

“Becoming?” he laughed. “Thought I always was.”

“Well, it’s becoming more prominent now,” you laughed with him, running your hands through his hair. “I don’t think you’ve let your hair get this long since 2016.”

“Ah yes, the first hippie Ash stage. I’ve learned a lot since then.”

“So this is Hippie Ash 2.0?”

“The new and improved hippie.”

You both broke out in a fit of giggles, before you sighed in content, curling yourself into his side. “So where to next?”

“Anywhere we fuckin’ want to. Well… within reason. The guys and I are discussing the next album.”

“Shit, already?”

He shrugged. “Might as well. Gotta be prepared for when the world opens up again. Wanna hit the ground running. Make up for lost time.”

“Well, fuck. Let’s go somewhere with the guys then. A working vacation.”

“Working vacations are my favorite types of vacation. But after the holidays. I’m getting used to lazy vacations where it’s just me and you, and I’m not ready to give that up just yet.”

“Oh, some place with snow would be cool. Maybe a cabin so we don’t freeze to death.”

He took the hint, pulling you into him with the blanket. “Sounds perfect.”

~~~

You awoke to an empty bed, sunlight, light laughter, and weed smoke filtering in from the open window.

“Morning, Luke,” you greeted as you found the blonde in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his hands wrapped around a coffee mug.

“Mornin’,” he nodded, side stepping out of the way of the coffee machine. “Still practically a full pot if you want a cup.”

“Nah, I’m good for now. Ash?”

“Outside getting high with Cal.”

“Fuckin’ hippie…” you chuckled, headed for the front door of the cabin, Luke’s own laughter following you out.

Calum had a camera in his hand, pointed at Ashton who sat on a couch in his robe, a random disarray of items scattered nearby on the ledge of a firepit. “Oh, hey, Y/N!” Calum said, noticing you first, as Ashton looked over his shoulder at you.

“Hey guys,” you smiled, taking a seat next to Ashton on the couch and leaning into him. “Starting the morning off on the right foot?” you asked with a pointed glance at the ashtray with the cigarettes and blunts.

“Oh, yeah,” Ashton drawled, shifting to wrap his arm around your shoulders.

“Ever think you lean into the hippie stereotype a lil too much?”

“Nah. Haven’t gone completely off the grid.”

“Yet,” Calum snickered. “There’s still time. Luke kinda did, and I’ve never seen him happier.”

“I dunno. I’m already pretty fuckin’ happy.”

“That’s true,” Calum nodded, then clapped a hand against his leg. “I’mma head back in. Maybe shower. Maybe get another cup. You guys good?”

“Yeah, we’re good, mate.”

“You know,” you spoke up as Calum headed back inside, “when this first started last year, I was really worried about you.”

“Worried about me? Why?”

“You said it yourself back then. You’ve always pushed yourself harder than you probably should. I mean, face it, Ash, you’re restless. I was worried about all the things you were worried about. That you’d get stuck, or lose yourself. But then, I dunno. I guess I stopped because I realized how silly it was to worry about you. I mean, you’re you. You’re always gonna make the most of whatever you’ve got. Even if what you got was a year that wasn’t anything like you originally expected it to be.”

“This year was harder than I anticipated. And I did get stuck, and I did get lost. Like those moments did happen. Because you’re right. I’m restless. I’m at my most relaxed when I’m constantly on the move, either doing something or working towards something. So, yeah. This past year fuckin’ sucked. But it was also everything I needed at the same time.”

“Sometimes you gotta lose yourself to find yourself?”

“Something like that, yeah. So, while this past year has taught me a lot, it’s also solidified a lot of things I already knew to be true. Like how I couldn’t have done any of this without you. More than that, I don’t want to do any of this without you. And I wasted too much time trying to reconcile how both you and the band can be the adventures I want to spend my whole life chasing before realizing that I don’t have to.”

“Ash…” you cut in softly. “I’d never make you choose between me and the band. Or me and anything, for that matter. I’m always going to support whatever makes you happiest.”

“No, I know. That’s what I’m trying to say. My life with you in it is what makes me happiest, because you are what makes me happiest. In a year where I didn’t know which way my life was going from one day to the next, the one thing I knew for certain was that I’d have you. It made the dark moments bearable, and the light moments much brighter. That’s not something I want to give up. You’re what I want, now and always. So,” he got up from the couch, reaching into the pocket of his robe as he sank to his knees in front of you. “Marry me.”

You gasped as he snapped open the little box and cool metal slid across your left ring finger, your mind in a whirlwind of both his sentiment, and the fact that he said “Marry me,” more as a direct statement. “Mrs. Hippie does have a nice ring to it.”

“So, that’s a ‘yes’?”

“It’s a million ‘yes’s, Ash. You’re the love of my life.”

“And you’re mine.”

__

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996​ @creator-appreciator​ @philthepegacorn​ @myfavfanficsever​ @cxddlyash​ @youngblood199456​ @stormrider505​ @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof​ @hoodhoran​ @metalandboybands​ @maybeememez​ @major5sosstan​ @kaitieskidmore1​ 

#adventurous spirit #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin x reader #5sos #calpal irwin

[schrijverr]

Surprise Hit

On a con Eliot is recognized by someone who has a hit on him and has to run.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: mentions of some mafia dealings

~~~~~~~~~~~

The con went to shit.

This happened often enough with a mark not making the expected choice, a firewall taking longer to crack than anticipated or someone showing up that was not supposed to. It was normal, however the way it went to shit this time was unique. “Nate, I got a problem,” Eliot announced.

“What is it?” Nate asked over the coms. It was an integral part of the plan that Eliot talked to their mark, John Fernsby, and convinced him to meet with Sophie. Nate would have done it, but he had already been the one to go in and convince the billionaire that thebusiness was worth investing in and Hardison was needed to help Parker into the safe. It had to be Eliot.

But Eliot said there was a problem, which was bad. However, it was about to get worse when Eliot answered: “He’s talking with a foreign dignitary, but I know he isn’t. That’s Mikhail Volkov, Russian mob. He has a hit out on me.”

“The fuck, man,” Hardison replied.

“I didn’t pick it either, okay,” Eliot hissed back. “But if he sees me, we’re fucked. Well, I’m fucked and someone has to take my part in the con.”

Hardison had pulled up the camera feed of the gala and watched how Eliot turned away from the mark and tried to leave them room without pulling any attention to himself. He almost managed too, were it not for a serenade band coming in right as he was near the exit.

It was such a stupid little thing that they couldn't have predicted and it was so incredibly ill-timed that Eliot had no room to come up with something. Mikhail turned to the band and saw Eliot, his brow furrowed and he yelled: “Stop that man!” as Eliot started to sprint, multiple people now on his trail.

He pushed over furniture behind him and swerved while a few bullets started to fly around his head, dangerously close. In his ear Hardison was giving him directions to Lucille, but he knew he could not return to the team. Not right now.

The Russian mob was not known for their leniency and if they thought he had people he worked with, then they would only target them as well. No, he had to go into hiding on his own and return to them later, when he could shake off his pursuers. In his ear he heard Hardison rant at him as he took the wrong turn, but Eliot didn’t care. He had a plan.

On the street it was easier to disappear, though he got many looks from people as they cleared the way for him while he ran like a madman. There were a few screams when the Russians appeared behind him with guns.

If it were a normal day and he was on his own, he would have stayed to fight them, but he was wearing a suit he couldn't easily fight in and Sophie and Parker had still been in the building, he couldn't risk them for something stupid he’d done in the past. And when he was outside, he didn’t have the surprise advantage or the closeness to take on that many guys with guns.

So, he ran.

His lungs were burning in his chest and his legs would be jelly were it not for the fact that he regularly ran long tracks in case he got in this exact situation.

It took a while, but the bullets stopped flying around his head and he couldn't hear any footsteps behind him anymore. He took a moment to focus on the chatter over the coms. His brain hadn’t heardany of the key words to get his attention in the background, so he assumed it was all fine.

“Eliot, Eliot, are you listening to me?” That was Nate.

“I’m here,” he grunted, checking in the alley if there was anyone still following, before starting to climb the fire escape.

“What are you doing? Hardison’s GPS says you’re nowhere near the hotel. We need to regroup and figure out our next move,” Nate said as Sophie asked: “Are you okay, Eliot?”

He replied: “I’m fine, Sophie. Just didn’t want to lead a group of armed mobster to our hotel room when their goal is to kill me and all my associates.”

“They’re coming to kill us?” Hardison’s squeaky voice came through the speaker.

“Not if they don’t know I’m with you,” Eliot assured him, “which is why I’m not at the hotel right now. I think I’ve shaken them off, but just in case I’m taking a long way round. Probably won’t come through the doors.”

Thenhe tuned them out again. It might be rude and he heard they were still asking him all sorts of questions, but he wasn’t in the mood to answer. He had other things to focus on and the last thing he wanted was to tell them why there was a hit on his head from this particular mobster.

Going through the city over the roof, he saw a few familiar stances and haircuts stationed at public places where he would hide, as well as at the hotels and he knew he had made the right decision to take this route.

Mentally he was trying to figure out why Mikhail was here of all places talking with their mark. It could be that he was laundering money and their mark having a connection with the mob could both help and be an issue. He could get into witness protection in turn for information, but it was also proof that his business wasn’t clean, even if they had wanted to get him for the stealing of company funds that screwed over his employees’ safety.

But that was not his business to think about, but Nate’s. He would wait for what the man had to say about this development, but in order to do that, he needed to get back to the hotel.

There were also “guards” at the entrance of their hotel, but the team was only on the fourth floor and while they weren’t close to the fire escape, Eliot could get up high and then go side wards over the ridge to their window.

He gave Hardison a heart attack when he got at the window. They hadn’t left it open, much to his chagrin, but were luckily there to open it for him and it was better not to have a weakness in the defense, so he couldn't blame them.

“What the hell, man,” Hardison said. “Give someone a warning before you go around showing up in front of the window. Did you even have safety or something? We’re up high. You could have fallen to your death, Eliot.”

“Yeah and if I had gone through the front door, I would have been shot,” he pointed out tiredly from where he was lying on the floor.

Parker was looking out the window and smiled: “Oeh, that’s a good climbing ridge indeed.”

“Woman!” Hardison exclaimed, while Eliot said: “We could do without the attention to our room, Parker, maybe next time.” She looked sad and glanced over one more time, before closing the window with a pout.

“Care to explain what happened?” Nate asked as he leaned over him. He did that face where he attempted innocence, but failed.

“Got recognized by someone who’s sort of actively trying to kill me,” Eliot replied with what they already knew.

“Sort of actively?” Sophie asked and Eliot was glad he could explain something not that bad to them instead of the other stuff. “Yeah, there’s a difference between saying, ‘hey if you manage to kill this person and prove it you get money,’ and ‘I am hiring you to kill this person within a time frame.’ Mikhail is the former. If I die, he would be happy, but he’s not putting extra resources in finding me and eliminating me.”

“And why would be be happy if you’re dead?” Fucking Nate always sticking his nose everywhere.

“I met him once,” Eliot wasn’t giving him shit.

“Would I be correct in assuming that the meeting ended in a loss on his end?” Nate replied.

“Maybe.” He was neither confirming or denying, not if there was no explicit reason. He hadn’t felt bad about the blow to Mikhail’s organization. It hadn’t been the worst he’d done and Mikhail had a smuggling ring of sex workers and that had been awful to find.

“Okay, so we know Fernsby has connections to the Russian mob,” Nate thought out loud. “So, he’s not only stealing money from his employees, but laundering dirty money as well. If we can tie those together then we’re set.”

“Mikhail has a weakness for brunettes,” Eliot informed him, not telling him how he got that tidbit of knowledge. “He also likes gambling.”

Nate got a glint in his eye as he looked to Sophie, who smiled back. Of course those two would have a plan without needing to communicate.

“You’re out for the rest of the con,” Nate told him. “Can’t have you risk the entire thing if you’re recognized.”

“What? No!” Eliot sat up. “I need to be there to have your back. With the Russians it’s only going to get more dangerous. I’m not leaving you to your fate with those people, they’re dangerous, Nate. This isn’t just some cushy billionaire anymore.”

“And what if he gets suspicious of Sophie because of you, what will you do then, Eliot?” Nate shot back. “I’m not saying you need to stay here, but I am saying you need to keep out of sight. You’re with Hardison in Lucille.”

Eliot wanted to protest, wanted to be closer to the danger in case it went to shit, he wanted to be there when a mistake from his past came back, but he couldn't argue with Nate’s logic and sometimes he hated that about the man.

So, he found himself watching the screens in Lucille as Sophie tried to get Mikhail to make a gamble on her company, to ditch Fernsby, because he was doing it without him and leaving him out of the profits.

He was filled with jittery energy, but so far so good.

“Hey, Eliot,” Hardison opened. “What’s it like, you know, to have a hit on your head? I mean, I’m wanted in some countries, but that’s just boring government stuff, not actual people, like persons, wanting me dead personally, you know.”

“Are you really asking me what it’s like when someone wants you killed?” Eliot asked him.

“I guess,” Hardison shrugged, trying not to look like he wanted to know the answer and failing miserably.

“It’s not that different from being wanted by the government, I suppose,” Eliot finally answered, surprising Hardison. “You just gotta watch out for different things and hope no one is desperate enough for cash to go after you. I have a good enough reputation that hardly anyone tries, but I’ve had periods where I had multiple people on my trail across a dozen countries. It was exhausting, but I get it. Kill me and you can make a lot of people with a lot of money happy.”

“Wait, hold on, reverse and repeat,” Hardison said. “A lot of people?”

“Yeah,” Eliot replied, didn’t Hardison know this? “I got more than one hit on my head. I think it’s five. Used to be six, but one of them died and the bounty fell through. Though I never knew if that one English guy put one on my head as well. And of course, the countries, but those are always lazy about it, so I don’t worrry too much about those.”

“What the fuck, man.”

Eliot didn’t see the big deal. He had done a lot to deserve it and he had learned to live with it. He hadalways kept one eye open anyway.

He focused back on the screen, despite the hiccup earlier with him, the con ran smoothly on its new course and Sophie was phenomenal as he pitted the two guys against one another, making them sell each other out in the end.

Nate was there with the police and both were arrested with illegal cash on their hands and a lot of bank records detailing their dirty schemes as well as showing the abysmal circumstances of the workers that had gone unaddressed in favor of laundering money.

Later when they were sitting in the bar, Nate turned to him and asked: “Any more of that we should be worried about?”

Before Eliot could answer, Hardison had jumped in: “Apparently between five and six more times.”

“No, between four and five,” Eliot corrected. “Mikhail is no longer on the list, but honestly we couldn't have predicted this and there are too many bad guys I’ve known, double crossed, worked for or left that are still out there. We can’t account for all of them. I’ll try to be aware of which marks could have ties to other’s I’ve known, but you don’t get to be good in my line of work without enemies.”

Nate wanted to say something else, but Sophie was quicker. “I’m not keeping track of all the people I have grifted either, Nate,” she said. “We all have a past and you’re not harping me about that or Parker on all she’s stolen. Just because Eliot’s past is a bit different, doesn’t mean we can treat it differently in our team.”

Eliot didn’t fully agree with the comparison. His enemies we’re not the same and one of them coming back would be worse than it was for others.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to disagree with her. Not right now.

He thought of all the people he killed, all the families he’d left behind with one member less. He thought of Moreau and the horrible things he’d done for that man. He thought of the US Army that had turned him into a killer and set him loose on foreign soil for the first time.

And he thought of his team. Of how glad he was he knew them and how they made him better and didn’t force him to be a person he hated. How much they meant to him and how badly he didn’t want to loose that.

So he stayed quiet and let Sophie defend him, hoping his past would not come back like that again.

~~

A/N:

Sorry that the con is kinda vague, I only had the ‘the mark/someone there has a hit on Eliot and he needs to run’ and no clear plan on running the con in the background. Hope it was still enjoyable :D

#RR writing #leverage #leverage tv #eliot spencer #nate ford #sophie devereaux #parker #leverage parker #alec hardison

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 289: Looks Like the Gang’s All Here

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “you guys don’t really need to know what’s gonna happen to Deku and Shouto right now” and cut away to Toga and Ochako before anyone could get a word in. Skeptic utilized the power of Freak Shounen Coincidence to magically zero in on Ochako and Tsuyu amongst the fleeing crowd. Toga was all “IS THAT OCHAKO” and immediately leaped down to fight them, ignoring Spinner’s heartfelt speeches about Villain Found Family because fight now, hug later!! Down in the streets of some unidentified crumbling city, Ochako was approached by a sweet old lady and was all “I better help this sweet old lady who is definitely not leading me into a trap”, which unfortunately turned out to be poor decision-making on her part. Anyway so now she and Toga are going to throw down. AND ALSO, P.S., BEST JEANIST IS STILL ALIVE, and that doesn’t really have anything to do with anything right now, but BY GOLLY I JUST HAD TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS.

Today on BnHA: Iida and Hadou are all “is it our turn yet”, and Horikoshi is all “yes”, and so the two of them finally burst onto the scene and are all “hello Shouto, Gigantomachia is on his way, btw do you need help” and so they all get ready to fight Tomura together. Meanwhile in Unnamed Ochako And Toga Fight Town, Toga is all “what’s up Ochako, oh is this the All Might doll Deku gave you, I guess you must like Deku as well, just like me, we truly are the same, btw I can use other people’s quirks now” before she vanishes in a flurry of knives and ambiguity, as mysteriously as she came. So that’s a thing that happened. The chapter ends with Gigantomachia and the League STOMPIN’ ONTO THE SCENE, JUST IN TIME FOR ENDEAVOR TO WAKE UP AND BE ALL “OHHHHH SHIT.” YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT, “OH SHIT.” Finally the pieces are in place for Dabi to reveal his true identity to Hadou and Iida, JUST LIKE WE ALL EXPECTED.

before I start, thank you so much to everyone who sent birthday messages on Wednesday!! I had a good day; my quarantine impulse purchase guitar that I ordered months ago but had been backordered finally arrived, and so now I can do something productive with my time as I continue to while away these months in isolation! not to say that capslocking over fictional characters and their shounen escapades doesn’t also count as being productive lmao. anyways, my fingers hurt so typing is kind of a bitch right now, but I’m having fun still. IF KAMINARI CAN DO IT THEN SO CAN I

anyway so let’s see what mishaps my various catastrophe-prone children are getting up to this week

okay there are several things happening in this panel which I want to comment on

IIDA!!!

HADOU!!!

“some time after” jesus fucking christ though, how long have Deku and the rest actually been fighting?? like it’s absolutely absurd to imagine that they’ve been managing to hold off Tomura for more than a few minutes, and yet everything we’ve seen these last couple of chapters suggests that this is indeed the case. which is just pure insanity tbh. excuse me sir, but I have an emotionally maturing son, a homewrecking grandpa, and a sleep-deprived one-legged platonic husband who are all in DIRE NEED of medical attention just FYI

lastly, I direct your attention to these two cool cats in the background who are both riding on hover surfboards. living it up like it’s Back to the Future. why are there two of them. do they both just happen to have the exact same quirk. what are the odds. ARE THEY TWINS. I want to know everything about them dammit

anyway so Hadou is asking Iida why he’s tagging along, because unlike the others, he can’t fly and is thus vulnerable to Tomura’s attacks and such

well Hadou I’ll have you know that it his DUTY AS THE CLASS PRESIDENT to tag along and THAT’S WHY

oh shit you guys IIDA SAID “FUCK THE LAW”

“plus Bakugou-kun, whom I am not particularly close to, but nonetheless hold nothing personal against!” well uh, kind of a weird distinction to make there bro, but okay. listen everyone, it’s a tense situation; if Iida feels the need to clarify the ins and outs of his interpersonal relationships with each of the people he’s rescuing then please just respect that okay

anyways though have I mentioned how much I fucking love Iida Tenya though you guys. feels like I haven’t mentioned that enough. I LOVE HIM. there

FINALLY

AFTER THREE WHOLE WEEKS WE FINALLY CUT BACK. OH MY GOD. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG OF A TIME THAT IS TO BE HOLDING YOUR BREATH. [EXHALES]

is it bad that my immediate reaction to this page was A LOT OF LAUGHING, though. fkldlksh this entire situation is SO ABJECTLY TERRIBLE that if I were Shouto I would almost be fighting the urge to look around for a hidden camera at this point. ASHTON KUTCHER WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE. OH THANK GOD, IT WAS ALL JUST A PRANK

anyway so uh. heh. how screwed are we at this point, exactly. oh and also, whose speech bubbles are these. who the fuck would look at this situation and these bleeding children and say “HA!” what kind of monster. just ignore that paragraph right before this one please

OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT

TOMURA I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M SAYING THIS, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO AFO FOR ONCE AND JUST LEAVE

pretty please. we kind of have a situation here. not that I wouldn’t love to see what this icy flamey boi could do if push came to shove, but I also have had just about enough of watching children get maimed for today though

OH SHIT

THE TIMING OF THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE AT ALL BUT I DO NOT CARE!! THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED THANK GOD

“WHAT UP GUYS, WE BROUGHT YOU SOME TERRIBLE NEWS” FKLSHLKHLK

WELL GEE IIDA THANKS SO FUCKING MUCH!!

lmaoooo a wild Lida has been spotted what the fuck is this translation though

I don’t know which is better, the “Lida” (DO YOU EVEN READ THE SERIES BRO), or the “CHRIST” gkfhkg. CLASSIC LIDA

OH SNAP HADOU

sobbing at Manual cradling the still-warm corpse of Gran Torino like a tiny baby khlk;h. BUT ANYWAYS HADOU SAW HER TEACHER ALL BLOODIED UP AND IS READY TO THROW DOWN, YESSSSS, THE MY LADIES ACADEMIA ARC CONTINUES

(ETA: listen you guys, there were many things at the end of this chapter that brought me joy, but perhaps none more than the inclusion of Hadou in the final two page spread looking all serious alongside the Todorokis, as if she has any fucking clue at all wtf is going on slfkhlkhgghsl. what I wouldn’t give to see her and Deku and Iida all making frantic bewildered eye contact at each other throughout the next chapter lmao.)

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT DEKU

ARE YOU PROPPING YOURSELF UP WITH YOUR ARM THAT’S IN SPLINTERS, I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE YOU RIGHT NOW. SOMEONE PLEASE SLAP SOME SENSE INTO THIS CHILD. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

LMAO TODO’S READY TO TAKE AFOMURA ON. THE SHARED HERO BRAINCELL HAS ALREADY EXPIRED. FUCK IT LET’S DO THIS

“true, I already watched him murder my dad, my boyfriend, my other boyfriend, my teacher, and dozens of other people, but gosh darn it, I just feel like the fifteenth time’s the charm you guys.” shit, I ain’t even mad. who’s up for yet another episode of Todoroki Shouto Attempts to Murder a Bitch

-- “TIME TO CUT AWAY!!” laughs Horikoshi as he gleefully dodges out of reach before I can punch him, that SON OF A --

goddammit. you’re just lucky that I’m invested in the girl power fight too

YESSSSS OCHAKO

DON’T BE SORRY FOR KICKING ASS! NEVER BE SORRY FOR KICKING ASS

damn, looks like she managed to touch Toga’s shirt but not Toga herself. both of them are so fast

now Toga is monologuing from the shadows

we’ve all been there, Toga. sometimes you see someone you really like and it’s just like, ahhhhhh gotta kill them am I right

lol I love Toga so much you guys, but I’m also kind of wincing in anticipation of whatever essays are gonna materialize out of the fandom this week explaining how hero society has failed her utterly and she is just a victim here. CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW SHE JUST WANTED FREEDOM TO BE HERSELF AND MURDER A BUNCH OF PEOPLE flhkklhl

OH SNAP SHE WENT AND TOLD HER THE THING!!

and it was fucking awesome and scary as shit, Ochako. like damn, still sends a chill up my spine just thinking about it

anyway so now Toga is continuing to explain that she can use the quirks of whoever she transforms into

and Ochako is kind of freaking out, which I don’t blame her for, since it’s probably really upsetting to hear that your stolen blood and quirk were used to murder a bunch of people. shit

so now she’s all “WTF WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TELL ME THAT”

??? was this somehow the wrong answer?

for fuck’s sake. Toga you literally came down here to ask her if she would be willing to kill you, and here she is telling you “I would never be happy about killing someone, that’s fucked up”, and you’re all “......”

like come on though, what else do you want her to say?? and why does Ochako look so shocked now

OOP

LMAO

THEIR FACES DKSLHFKG. TOGA NO THAT IS MEAN. and jesus christ Ochako it’s just a toy. I know it has Sentimental Value and shit but is this really the thing to be getting distracted about right now

FOR FUCK’S SAKE

JIN-KUN WHOM OCHAKO HAS NEVER FUCKING MET?? THAT JIN-KUN??!

OM NOM NOM

this entire confrontation makes absolutely zero sense to me you guys. just. Horikoshi was all, “this is the kind of stuff girls talk about when they’re battling to the death, right?” just, are you okay my dude

anyway so Toga has somehow deduced that Ochako got the doll from Deku, which means that she and Ochako are exactly alike in every way, and this is somehow an important plot point, and now they’re finally getting back to the fight lulz

OH SHIT

OCHAKO BOUT TO SLAP THE SHIT OUT TOGA WITH THIS BOOKCASE ON A STRING AND THIS LOUIS BAG OH FUCK

so now Toga’s all excited and she’s all “THERE’S SOMETHING I OUGHT TO TELL YOU, I’M NOT LEFT HANDED EITHER” oh snap

fuck, it almost feels like she’s trying to warn her. Ochako idk maybe you should run shit I do not like this ( ﾟдﾟ)

but of course she is not running, and she’s all “I’ll have you take responsibility for your actions”

HEY NOW

WHAT IS FUCKING HAPPENING, DID TOGA JUST FUCKING MURDER TSUYU, WHAT THE FUCK. I AM TERRIFIED, I DON’T WANT TO SCROLL DOWN, SHE THREW LIKE FOURTEEN KNIVES INTO THE DARKNESS, WHAT THE FUCK

OH

IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I MAY HAVE OVERREACTED

so did Toga just Swip a bunch of knives for no reason and then abscond, lol what. CAN ANYBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE PURPOSE OF THAT ENTIRE SCENE WAS. ASIDE FROM GETTING TO SEE OCHAKO TRY AND YEET A BOOKCASE AT SOMEONE

fuck, she was crying??

DID MY GIRL TOGA JUST KILL AN OLD WOMAN, NAKEDLY LURE OCHAKO INTO A BUILDING, ANTAGONIZE HER INTO SAYING “I’LL MAKE YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR KILLING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE IT”, STEAL HER DOLL, GIVE HER DOLL BACK, TELL HER “OH SO YOU LIKE DEKU TOO HUH? BTW I CAN USE OTHER PEOPLE’S QUIRKS”, AND THEN RUN AWAY CRYING??? BRUH

-- OH SHIT, OH FUCK

[SIRENS BLARING WILDLY] [AUDIENCE LEAPING OUT OF THEIR SEATS] [T-SHIRT CANNONS BOOMING IN THE AIR] [VIKING WAR HORN SOUNDS IN THE DISTANCE] FUUUUUUUUUCK

well never the fuck mind about Ochako and Toga and WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT ALL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, I guess, BECAUSE!! MACHIA MADNESS HAS ARRIVED. SPEARS SHALL BE SHAKEN!!! SHIELDS SHALL BE SPLINTERED!!

AND LOOK WHO WOKE UP FROM HIS NUMBER ONE HERO BEAUTY NAP RIGHT ON CUE, TOO!!! ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS... IIIIIIIIIIT’S TOUYA TIMEEEEEEEE

#bnha 289 #iida tenya #hadou nejire #toga himiko #uraraka ochako #todoroki shouto #todorokibowl 2020 #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[theasstour]

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟒.𝟓𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞

Sunday, 12 July

Birds were chirping outside Y/N’s bedroom window, humming some sort of song that she now proclaimed to be her new favourite. Slowly, she blinked herself awake, yawning as she rubbed at her eyes, adjusting her eyes to the surrounding scenery. For a split second she completely forgot where she was. The room looked different, it didn’t smell of Bessie’s morning toastie and burnt bacon. No, her surroundings were a stark white in the early morning sun and the room smelled of freshly brewed coffee. However, that coffee couldn’t have been fresh, because the person beside her in bed didn’t seem to be very awake.

Y/N had turned over onto her back sometime that night, both arms bent above her head, nuzzling into the quilt Harry had laid over her along with his duvet. Breathing calmly, looking utterly content, Harry was on his stomach, one arm under his head while the other was lazily draped over her stomach, his thumb resting dangerously close to her left breast. He looked peaceful, tips of his dark curls given the colour of fresh honey in the lazy sunbeams shining through the open window, he must’ve opened it and the blinds when he woke up to report earlier.

He opened his eyes slowly, as if he could sense that she wasn’t asleep any longer, meeting her eyes right away. The green of his pupils looked like the moors outside, just as pretty, just as full of promise for opportunities and adventure.

“Morning,” she croaked, yawning again as she rubbed her eyes.

“Did my alarms wake you up at all?” he asked, voice hoarse with sleep still, though Y/N knew he had been up all of two, it not three times already.

“Nope,” she said, giving him a smile though her face was still swollen from a long night of sleep. “I haven’t slept that well in ages.”

“I didn’t wake you up?”

“No.”

“Not once?”

She giggled, looking at him as he slowly started to smile back at her. “No.”

“Promise?”

She laughed, turning on her side to face him. “Promise.”

“And you say you’re a light sleeper,” Harry huffed, removing his hand from where it rested on top of her. The lack of pressure on her ribcage felt strange all of a sudden.

“Did you make a coffee brew earlier?”

“Yeah, when I woke up at 6 to do the report.” Harry sat up, running his hands over his face. “I don’t usually go back to bed, but I kind of needed it this time around. Absolutely, blindingly knackered. Fuckin’ hell.”

“What’s the time?”

“Just past eight,” Harry answered, getting up from bed. “So, I might have to go report.”

“Go do that.”

“Figured out earlier that I have to change the bulbs soon, the ones in the lamp in the bell room.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Soon?”

“Coming week probably, just gotta drive down to Pendeen or Longships ‘cause I haven’t done this before and I’ll need a tutorial.” Harry got up from bed, running a hand through his already messy hair as he opened the window by the couch to let some air run through the tiny cottage. “Anyway, I’ll go and report.”

She watched as he strolled outside, already wearing his denim shorts and a Frankie Goes to Hollywood tee shirt to take on the new day. Y/N looked around the tidy house, smiling to herself as she again could hear the birds singing outside, bidding her good morning.

She got up, walking over to the bathroom to do her business, then she washed her face and looked through Harry’s stuff till she found some moisturiser right next to a small bottle of lube. Y/N did not want to even bloody think about the reason he’d bought that, not when he knew he had most likely used it with Emilia. She applied some moisturiser before putting it back where she found it, then walked right out and to his kitchen. First she made some tea, then she looked through his fridge to see what she could make for breakfast for the two of them. She found two eggs, cheese, and basil, along with some cherry tomatoes he had in a small bowl on the counter, and figured that would do for a great breakfast. As she was frying the omelette, she heard something that resembled a car motor in the distance. Walking over to the window above the dining table, Y/N saw a red Volvo driving up the road to the lighthouse. Thinking they were there for Harry and he couldn’t come to greet them right then because he was busy, Y/N slid the tomato omelette onto a plate, cut it in half, put the other half on another plate, and then walked over to the front door, unlocking it just in time to see Grace emerging from the car.

“Hello, Y/N!” Uncle Tim called, grinning at her while giving a slight wave. “Alright?”

“Y/N!” Grace exclaimed, running over to where she stood and throwing her arms around her. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Hiya, you,” Y/N smiled, giving uncle Time a wave before placing her hand on top of Grace’s head. She was wearing the pink and red headband Y/N had given her.

“Just droppin’ Gracie off, is Harry here?”

“Lighthouse.”

“Ah,” uncle Tim nodded. “Tell him to drive her back to the farm later, yeah?”

“Will do.”

And with that, Uncle Tim drove off, leaving Y/N and Grace to be alone for the time being. Grace walked around Y/N and into the house, and Y/N followed her, closing the door behind them. Grace walked up to the two breakfast plates, eyes growing wide before she looked back to Y/N, grinning from ear to ear.

“Is that for me?”

Y/N’s first instinct was to tell Grace that it wasn’t, that she had originally planned for her and Harry to have breakfast alone together, but the little girl looked so happy at the prospect of food that Y/N could simply not take that joy away from her with a simple and curt ‘no’.

“If you want it,” Y/N said, grinning as Grace squealed and took a plate, running over to sit by the dining table. Y/N took her plate and brought some cutlery for herself, putting it down on the table beside her own plate. “Tea or water?”

“Water, please,” Grace said, eating some of her omelette. Y/N poured Grace a glass of water before making a cup of tea for herself, then walked over to the table and sat down, eager to finally have some proper food in her system and not just half the cucumber she had eaten the night before.

“I thought you were vegetarian,” Grace said, licking some of the yolk off from around her lips.

“I am,” Y/N answered, sitting back in her chair before taking a piece of the apple she cut, biting into it. “Why?”

“You’re eating eggs.”

Y/N looked down at her plate, suddenly realising that Grace was very right. She was eating eggs, which she hadn’t thought of till now might not be a vegetarian food choice. Quickly, Y/N reached for her phone, going onto Google and doing a search as Grace watched in anticipation. Small giggles could be heard from the other side of the table, Y/N stuck her nose out at Grace. While reading, Y/N realised if an egg was not fertilised and never going to become an animal, it would be considered vegetarian and thought of as an animal byproduct along with milk and butter. However, Y/N wasn’t about to tell a seven-year-old that.

“It is considered vegetarian,” Y/N said, turning the phone around so her little friend could see, though it was clear Grace did not know what Y/N was showing her.

“Nay was worried,” Grace giggled, taking another bite out of the omelette.

Y/N put her phone away, furrowing her brows lightly. “What you mean?”

Grace shrugged her shoulders before she used both her hands to sip her water some. “Nanay did some research when we found out you were vegetarian, so she started listing all these things that you could eat and the things you couldn’t, and eggs were one of them on some website and not on others.”

“Jessa did research on vegetarianism?” Though Y/N knew Jessa had, she hadn’t realised just how thorough of a job Harry’s stepmother had done.

“Yeah, she didn’t want you to eat something that you didn’t want to eat,” Grace explained. “I like everything. I eat everything.”

Y/N laughed, shoving the rest of the piece into her mouth just as the door into the cottage opened and Harry stepped inside. He took his shoes off, stopping at the sight of Grace and giving her a huge grin.

“Forgot you were spending the day,” he said, walking over to nick some of the tea Y/N had made earlier.

“You forgot about me?” Grace asked, clearly offended.

“No, Gracie, it was a joke.” Harry brought the piano chair over to the dining table so he could sit down with them. “I need to mow the lawn today.”

Grace’s eyes grew wide as if that made her realise something. Frantically, she looked from Y/N and back to Harry, repeating that a few times before swallowing the bite she’d just taken. “Does that mean I get to pick a big, big, big wildflower bouquet?”

Harry smiled. “Yes, if Y/N’s not busy she can help you.”

“Yay!” Grace got up from the table, running over to Y/N and taking her hand in hers. “Y/N, pleaseeee!”

Y/N chuckled some. “If you let me finish my tea, I’ll help you pick a massive bouquet, yeah?”

“Okay, I’ll go start!” Grace ran outside, appearing outside the kitchen window right away, grinning from ear to ear as she bent down and started picking. The two inside sat watching her for a little while, drinking their hot cuppas and taking life easy, not bothering to run around with Grace when they had been drinking the night before.

“She really likes you,” Harry suddenly said, voice low around the rim of his tea mug.

Y/N glanced over at him. “Does she?”

“Yeah,” Harry smiled. “Thank you for picking flowers with her after this.”

“You don’t have to thank me, I want to.”

Harry nodded, looking down into the dark liquid of his mug. “I, uhm… I thought quite a bit about that… that fight we had… The fight last night. I thought about it this morning.”

For some reason, Y/N felt a sinking feeling inside her chest. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I… I wanted to apologise again.”

“Harry, you don’t have to-“

“-No, I see where you were coming from now. I know what it might look like to you, and, yeah, me walking off with her like that must’ve had you look like a right plonker.”

She nodded, sipping her tea some. “Not a great feeling, no.”

“It’s just… It’s kind of like… she’s part of…” Harry sighed, running a hand over his face. “It’s complicated. Emilia and I, everything there.”

Y/N stayed silent for a minute, eyes on her empty plate. “You obviously have history, I’m not trying to erase that or hurt you in any way, but I think she shouldn’t have done what she did at that beach knowing you had a girlfriend- a fake one,” she added as she saw Harry’s slight smile, he giggled at her. “And it didn’t look good when you walked off with her either. You’re always on about how believable we are, that didn’t exactly make us look like a strong couple.”

Harry pressed his lips together, a slight crease appearing between his brows. “You’re right, it was stupid of me to fight you after it as well.”

“It wasn’t stupid of you, Harry. If you feel strongly about something or if you don’t agree with what I’m saying or doing, you have every right to feel that way and tell me. But choose your battles, some are worth fighting and others aren’t.”

Harry smiled. “That one wasn’t?”

She shrugged her shoulders, trying to hide her slight smile.

“Yeah, I’ll agree with you on that one. I shouldn’t be around Emilia, not like that, not after everything that happened.”

Y/N felt a sudden urge to ask him what exactly happened, why was she such a complicated part of his life? Why did he still feel so attached to her?

“Y/N!” Grace yelled from outside, looking through the kitchen window at the two of them. “Y/N, are you coming?!”

Harry and Y/N shared a look, Harry raising his eyebrows and letting go of a long sigh. She only shoved his shoulder playfully before sipping the rest of her tea and then walking outside to be with Grace. The little one was hunched down, humming along to a song that Y/N now recognised as the one Harry wrote, Saving Grace. It was just the melody she was singing to, but Y/N still remembered every single second of it.

“Did Harry tell you about the new flower that has started appearing around here?” Grace asked, already holding a colourful bouquet in her hands.

“Yeah, he mentioned it.”

“It’s this one,” Grace said, holding up a tiny purple blossom. “Bellflower.”

“That’s gorgeous, that is.” Y/N took the flower out of Grace’s hand to look at it a little more closely. It wasn’t spectacular, kind of resembled an open bluebell in a way, but Grace seemed incredibly excited about it. “What kind of flowers do you want in your bouquet then?”

“Every kind!” Grace sang. “I want it to be bigger than big!”

Y/N laughed. “Alright.”

Friday, 17 July

Vintage Divine had been packed. Though Y/N was glad they were getting customers and that tourists from a few towns over or holiday-goers were all visiting the shop and buying tons, it meant there were less things for Y/N to look at. Yes, she should not be spending a lot of time in shops when she was trying to save up money for when she would eventually have to go off to University, it was hard to stay away. Especially when she usually stood chatting to Florence for well over half an hour every time she was checking out.

With a new blouse in her tote bag and a pair of new sunglasses perched on her nose, Y/N strolled along The Terrace, basking in the afternoon sun. Seagulls were singing overhead and the sound and smell of the ocean had a calming effect on her, making her both drowsy and content. It had been a long day of studying at a café in town, getting there when it opened at 9 and staying till well past 6. So, when she arrived at the Inn, she didn’t even bother saying hi to Bessie whom she could hear singing along to a tune on the radio in the kitchen. Y/N walked straight up the stairs and to her room, rummaging through her tote bag to find her keys.

While looking down, she noticed something against the wooden floorboards that she was sure she had never seen before. Looking beyond her tote, she saw something lush, green, and otherwise colourful. Bluebells, sea pinks, hedgegrow cranesbills, and bellflowers. A bouquet. She opened her door and bent down, her sunlit room making it easier to properly make out the wildflowers. She put her tote away before she walked downstairs, saying a quick hi to Bessie as she filled a tall glass with some water, then disappearing upstairs to her room again. She put the flowers down on her desk and sat down, staring at them in the light of the afternoon sun, shining in the glistening water that was feeding them. By the state the flowers were in, Y/N assumed they must have been outside her room for at least an hour, maybe some more, because they were flaccid. Regardless, they looked so beautiful, fit so perfectly in her room, that it was hard to tear her eyes away from them in the end.

She quickly got up, studying herself in her mirror to make sure she looked alright. Though the many hours of studying were visible in the slight bags under her eyes, Y/N deemed herself presentable. She put on a dark green boxy high neck jumper over her white midi smock dress, retying her black Vans before she got her phone and keys, put them in one of the pockets in her jumper, then walked straight out of her room again. Bessie must have heard Y/N hurrying around upstairs, because she poked her head out of the kitchen, watching the younger woman jog down the stairs and out the Inn door.

Upon walking up the hill leading to the lighthouse, the first thing Y/N noticed was that there was another car out front. Beside Harry’s yellow van stood a smaller blue car, one Y/N had never seen before. The orange sun hung low on the horizon, indicating that sunset would soon shine its colourful gleam over Cornwall, and the lighthouse would therefore start blinking its light to help sailors on their way wherever they should want to go.

As she approached the house, the door into it opened, and though the strong winds of the Clodgy moors rarely managed to carry someone’s voice far enough to hear it at a great distance, Dax somehow managed to defy that. He stepped out onto the gravel, walking over to his car and opened the boot. On his way over he saw Y/N, grinning widely at the sight of her and waving enthusiastically.

“You alright?” he asked as she walked over to him.

“Yeah, and you?”

“Splendid, thanks.”

“Looking for treasure back here?” Y/N gestured at the boot.

Dax chuckled. “If by treasure you mean beer, then yes.”

She raised her eyebrows, smiling. “Oh?”

“We’re going Porthgwidden,” Dax explained. “Your boyfriend’s inside getting dressed, Amir’s chatting his ear off so you might want to save him.”

Y/N walked past Dax and toward the cottage, the door still open, carrying Amir’s voice all the way outside. She stopped in the hallway, dusting her shoes off a bit before stepping into the doorway that led to the living area. Harry stood by his dresser, his bare back to Y/N as he rummaged through one of his drawers. She was instantly taken back to the kamayan on the beach with his family, how he had run past her and Grace, and how his love handles and soft skin glistened in the glittering water. His shoulder blades worked as he reached for a tee shirt, taking it over his head and putting it on while Amir continued to talk, and somehow, seeing them along with the slight outline of his back muscles, made Y/N suck her bottom lip between her teeth, hypnotised by him.

“Y/N,” Amir suddenly said, making her look to her right where he sat on the sofa, shoes propped up on the coffee table in front of him.

Harry looked over his shoulder, meeting her eyes and his widening at the sight. He turned around, clearing his throat some as he tucked a ‘Safe sex’ Keith Herring tee shirt into his high wasted washed denim jeans. She gave him a smile before looking at Amir.

“What’s happening at Porthgwidden, then?” she asked, looking from one to the other.

“Nothing, really. Just gonna hang out for a bit, have a few pints.”

“You wanna come?” Harry asked, putting his black Converse on.

“I don’t wanna ruin time with the lads, though.”

Amir shook his head. “You’ll only ruin it if you don’t tag along.”

She chuckled. “Really?”

“I want you there.”

She was shocked to hear Harry say that for some reason. Her heart sped up at the thought of him maybe actually meaning that, but it slowed down as she reminded herself it was all for show. Amir was in the room with them and Dax might be overhearing the conversation, they had to be convincing, they had to be believable.

She forced herself to calm down, smile widening as she said, “Alright then, let’s go to the beach.”

Amir immediately started singing the Nicki Minaj song with the same lyrics, sliding past Y/N to go outside to Dax. Harry reached for a thin jacket that was hung over one of his dining chairs, slipping it on as he glanced about the room for his keys and phone, throwing a small brown leather rucksack on his back.

Y/N’s eyes drifted to her usual windowsill. She hadn’t been there in about two days because Harry had been busy running errands at Pendeen and Longships lighthouse, what he was doing there she didn’t know, but it must have been important. He had mentioned something about him changing the bulbs in the bell room sometime soon, maybe he was just getting a tutorial on how to do that. Because of his absence, she hadn’t bothered being there, seeing as it would also mean being there alone and she would much rather be here with Harry. She hadn’t noticed at first, but she saw something that looked like cushions in the windowsill along with two pillows in the same creamy white. It looked like an absolutely dreamy place to do her UCAT work now.

“Ready?” Harry asked, closing the window over the couch.

“Yeah,” Y/N said, stepping outside. “Also, I wanted to thank you for the bouquet.”

Harry met her eyes, surprised that she had come all this way just to say that. “Yeah?”

“They were beautiful.”

He bit his lips together as he locked the front door, she swore she could detect a small tremor to his voice as he said, “They reminded me of you.”

Y/N scoffed, making Harry turn around a little faster than he normally did. “You said that last time as well, when Grace was there.”

“I mean it, Y/N.”

“Let’s fucking go!” Dax called, Amir clapping his hands together as the two of them started down the gravel road. Too shocked and not really knowing what to do, Y/N turned around and started walking toward them. She did not know if Harry was just taking the piss as friends did or if he actually meant it. Regardless, it was making her head spin and she had no idea how to handle him.

The four of them strolled along Fore Street, talking merrily amongst themselves as they made their way to St Ives Bakery. Harry had previously mentioned how he worked there when he was younger so he could earn money to spend on Grace, and she understood why he would want to work there when they entered the shop. Pastries and everything else imaginable were displayed by the counter, the delicious smell of bread and carbs making Y/N’s mouth water. Since arriving, she hadn’t tried a Cornish pasty, something she was embarrassed to admit, but Harry already knew this. He pointed out the vegetarian options and asked her which once she wanted. Though she was a bit shocked he wanted to buy her a pasty, it was exactly the kind of thing she expected from Harry. He would give in if she told him she could buy one for herself, but Harry liked taking care of people. He liked to provide; seeing someone happy because of something he did could have him goofing around and giggling for hours. She therefore said yes, feeling something inside her chest heat up at the sight of Harry’s dimple showing.

Each with a pasty in hand, they walked to Porthgwidden, finding a place relatively close to shore where no one was sat. Most people around were seated at the Porthgwidden Beach Café, chattering loudly and drinking their way into the weekend. Dax plopped down into the sand, letting go of a huge sigh as he opened his beer and took a long swing.

“That’s fucking dangerous, that is,” Dax said, looking at his beer can.

“Good thing the Café is open still, you’ll finish that one in about-“ Amir looked at an imaginary clock on his wrist. “-A minute.”

“Can’t blame a man for devouring a cheeky beverage on a Friday afternoon.” Dax sipped some more beer as Y/N sat down beside him, Harry sitting down to her right. “Tastes like what you’d imagine happiness to taste like, you feel me?”

“More of a cider person myself,” Y/N said, removing some of the paper around her pasty so she could take a bite.

“Why didn’t you say anything, mate? Would’ve gotten you one on the way here!” Dax exclaimed. “I actually think I might have some cider in my car as well.”

She smiled at him. “Completely fine, hun. I appreciate you lot wanting me here in the first place.”

“Harry here wouldn’t have come if you hadn’t,” Amir said, as if it was a fact of life. “But we want you here as well.”

Y/N looked at Harry who was wearing the red heart shaped sunglasses she had given him a few weeks ago. She hadn’t even realised he brought them. Harry took a bite out of his pasty before he glanced at her, nodding toward her pasty as if ordering her to take a bite. She did.

“Was about to say a girlfriend of Harry’s is a girlfriend of ours, but I don’t think-“

“-No, she’s not,” Harry interrupted Dax after swallowing. “She is not.”

“Lad,” Dax laughed. “Just taking the piss.”

Harry rolled his eyes before meeting Y/N’s gaze again. “What’d you reckon?”

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah? We can get some again at a later time?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, her tummy experiencing a tickling sensation at the sound of his words. “It’s actually weird how I haven’t had a Cornish pasty till now.”

Amir gasped. “I’m sorry, what?”

Y/N laughed. “I know.”

“I’ve literally told her countless times she needs to try one, but she ‘forgets to buy one’.” Harry shook his head some before opening his beer can, then reaching over for Y/N’s and opening hers as well, putting it back in the same place she’d placed it.

“You’re spending your summer in Cornwall, you’re over halfway through your stay, and you haven’t tried a Cornish pasty?” Dax tutted. “Doesn’t sit right with me, mate.”

“Hey! In my defence, I’ve been very busy.”

“You studied at a café today, could’ve gotten one,” Harry teased.

Y/N turned to look at him, mouth falling open. She hadn’t been at Harry’s today mostly for a change of scenery, to get out and do something different, be someplace new, but she hadn’t expected Harry to have thought about it. She hadn’t told him, so he must have come to the conclusion himself.

“Could’ve,” she said, looking at her pasty.

Harry nudged her shoulder, making their eyes meet again. He gave her a reassuring smile and nodded at her pasty, silently asking her to take another bite. She did, looking out over the ocean in front of them, the sky a deep orange and pink, soon to have a tinge of purple intermingling, keeping the horizon company till night would take over completely. Harry took his rucksack off, bringing his camera out before he stood up.

“Mate, if you don’t become a director,” Dax grinned.

“I’m good being a lighthouse keeper, thanks.”

“Imagine you directing a psychological thriller set in the 50s, following a married couple, yeah? Bear with me, crew,” Amir went on, holding his hands up before him as if he wanted everyone to envision what he was. “The husband’s got a dark secret, the wife doesn’t suspect anything-“

“-Great, how ‘bout you write that down as a possible book idea, I need footage right now of normal people. You know what that is, Amir?”

“I’m gonna write that idea down right away, actually. Gonna be a bloody bestseller, I’m tellin’ you,” Amir said, making Dax hold his pasty as he brought his phone out, typing away at the notes app. Harry stood watching his friend with his eyebrows raised, his eyes growing wider for each second he was left waiting. Y/N couldn’t hold her giggle back, bringing her hand over her mouth to muffle it, but Harry caught her. She only saw his smile as he brought the camera up to his eyes, zooming in on her as she laughed. As she swallowed her bite, she looked to Dax who only made a grimace at her, also fed up with how long it was taking Amir to write his book idea down. Completely unprompted, Dax brought Amir’s pasty to his lips, giving it a little kiss before he took a bite. Amir’s head immediately whipped in Dax’s direction.

“Are you mad, bruv?!” Amir exclaimed, ripping his pasty out of Dax’s hand. Y/N only laughed even more, but Amir was only watching Dax with mortification, offended and frankly disgusted. “That’s my pasty! You have your own!”

“Should’ve thought of that before you took a year off to write a book down in your notes app,” Dax said through his mouthful, shrugging his shoulders.

“You’re off the trolley.” Amir put his feet in an awkward position, placing his pasty there. “Completely mental.”

“Love you too,” Dax said before taking a bite out of his pasty, then waving at Harry who now had the camera placed up to his eye.

“You’re supposed to pretend I’m not here,” Harry mumbled.

“No can do.” Dax swallowed his bite. “Impossible to pretend hunk of the century isn’t standing right in front of me.”

“Why are you like this?” Harry asked, slowly turning away from the group to get a shot of the beautiful sunset.

“I would say I’m a good friend, aren’t I? Complimenting you like that. Am I not, Y/N?” Dax asked, looking at her to his right.

“Compliments are important,” she agreed.

“And isn’t Harry the most handsome man you’ve ever seen?”

“Dax!-“

“-He might just be,” Y/N giggled.

Harry seemed to lose his footing some, because he fell backward, stumbling awkwardly till he got his balance back. Amir found this incredibly entertaining, clapping his hands together as he laughed at Harry who was now red-faced and very flustered. He blinked rapidly as his eyes landed on Y/N, then Dax, then Amir, then back at Y/N again. She tried not to look too much into it, it was probably just that Harry stepped funny and made a fool of himself, but part of her brain wanted to believe it was because of what she had said.

Harry sat down next to her again, putting his camera away before picking up his pasty. While looking out over the ocean before him, his eyelids fell a little lower over his eyes, relaxing completely as he took yet another bite of the baked good. Instead of making it obvious that she had a small crush on him, Y/N looked away, eyes falling to her pasty. She shoved the rest of it in her mouth before turning to focus on the conversation Dax and Amir were having.

It was nice to listen to them chat shit, because Y/N normally only heard gossip from Bessie’s ladies. Though she was sure this gang wouldn’t mind a little goss every now and again, it was nice to talk about nothing in particular. Dax complained how his beer was empty, Amir saying it was his fault for having quite literally downed it, but since the whole lot had drunk a considerable amount of their beverage, they decided that Dax and Amir should walk up to the café and get them a pint each. They took the pastry paper and empty cans with them and started up to the beach bar.

“Have you been to the Cornish Candy Shoppe then?” Harry suddenly asked after a short pause in conversation.

“Where’s that?”

“Fore Street.”

She scoffed. “Everything’s on bloody Fore Street.”

Harry laughed. “It’s easy to find stuff, though. You already know where Fore Street is.”

“But everything’s always on Fore Street.”

“If I told you another street name in St Ives, would you be able to tell me where that is?”

Y/N nodded. “Well, of course.”

“You’re confident.”

She giggled; Harry smiled. “I’ve been here for well over a month, I’d say I know my way around.”

“You do?”

“Uh-huh.”

“So…” Harry trailed off, looking out over the ocean in front of them. “So… you know this as well as you know your hometown?”

She studied him for a little while, her silence making him meet her eyes again. “I don’t… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“Well, maybe. I… I don’t really think about Winchester that often anymore. Because I’m here, with you, and I don’t… I just don’t think about anything else besides or outside of that.”

He slowly opened his mouth and said, voice as light as a mumble, “You don’t think about anything else?”

She stared back at him, piece of her unsure of what part of her statement he was referring to. Whatever portion of that sentiment that anyone pointed out, she would have to say yes, because it was true. There was nothing else to her now than St Ives and the little life she had created for herself there. She was happy here, she was at peace here, she felt at home. Was there anything else to think about? To care about? Y/N did not think so. She knew that since she was happy now, there was no reason for her to focus on anything but that. Happiness was fleeting, just like everything else in life. It comes and it goes, just like waves crashing against shore, and just like night and day. You will simply not be happy every single day, or every single week even, at your worst. But happiness will come back, and it will feel as good, if not better, than all those times before. And right now, Y/N was happier than she had ever been. She simply did not want to focus on a time in her life when she had not been happy, what a waste of euphoria.

“Y/N, I…” Harry’s eyes flicked between hers, quickly examining her lips before glancing at her again. “I don’t think about anything else than… than this.”

She suddenly felt something thumb hard against her chest, realising that it was her heart having an insane and overwhelming sort of reaction to what Harry was saying. “This?”

“Us.” He moved a little closer. “Y-You.”

She felt like pinching herself. This did not seem real. Harry was not this close, he was not saying these lovely things, it did not make sense. But at the same time, it made perfect sense. Because she felt herself leaning toward him, drawn to him like she was supposed to be pressed up against him, and it felt right. There was a balance and peace that came over the world every time they touched.

“You think about me?” she asked, voice low so only they could hear.

She felt a breath hitch somewhere in her throat, incapable of forming any sort of coherent sentence as she felt his breath on her lips. Or was it an ocean breeze? Was it her wishful thinking? Was she just imagining this because she wanted it so bad?

“I…” His cheeks were a deep pink. “The question I asked you last Saturday…”

“What question?”

“If you’re staying. You never answered it.” A little pause ensued. “Are you?”

“Do you want me to?”

Harry’s eyes fell to her lips, his own parting as he tilted his head a little to the right, meeting her gaze again. She felt electric; static with anticipation, buzzing with silent what-ifs and pleads for him to answer her question. At first, she realised Harry was moving forward, not too fast for her not to realise what was going on, but fast enough for her to not be able to form any thoughts before it happened. He kissed her. A hard and urgent pressure that was soft against her lips, tingling in every single part of her being. It was like watching a lightning strike somewhere close by, the entire sky lighting up, and then, mere seconds later, feeling the effect of the electrical discharge all around her. The rumble of the ground you were standing on, the vibrations in the air around you, every hair on your body rising.

He detached his lips from hers, meeting her eyes for a second to see if she was okay with this. Y/N didn’t want to wait for him to do something again, so she leaned in, pressing her side against Harry’s as her lips landed on his again. Gently, Harry rested his hand on her neck, thumb caressing her jawline as he guided her mouth open wider for him. She felt herself breathe against him, a sigh of dreamy relief as his tongue met hers for only a second or two. The reverberation of a slight moan left Harry’s lips, his entire body relaxing completely as they dragged the kiss out. Defences down; feeling every single thing their bodies were going through as they kissed again. Y/N heard her heart thumping loudly in her ears, felt it in her chest, not believing what was actually going on. It seemed too good to be true. She was kissing Harry. He was kissing her. They were kissing.

He pulled away, opening his eyes ever so slightly as she did. He leaned into her again, placing a soft kiss to her temple that had every single future headache dissipate. Another kiss to her cheek that eradicated every single nightmare she had in the past and would ever have. Another to her jaw that took away all the pain of leaving her life behind in Hampshire, a kiss that made her realise it was the best decision she had ever made. Hope flowed from the tubercles of Harry’s lips and into her skin, sinking into each one of her cells, making a sort of sanguine feeling erupt throughout her body that made her dizzy with want, need, and delight. Kissing the side of her mouth, he met her eyes again, the tips of his fingers gracing the hair at the back of her head. He drew her to him again, kissing her lower lip so tenderly it felt like the petals of the flowers Harry had left outside her room earlier that same day. She never wanted to stop kissing him; she never wanted this to end, never wanted him to let go of her.

“Oi!” Dax laughed behind them. Harry sat up straight, detaching his lips immediately from Y/N’s. “Not in public, brothers! Fucking animals!”

Dax and Amir sat down where they had been seated before, Dax nudging Y/N to take the pint he had bought for her, asking her to give one of them to Harry. When she passed the beer to Harry, looking at him to try and meet his eyes, his were already fastened on the beer, and then the horizon in front of him. She felt her heart drop so fast it made her dizzy.

“Thought about getting some crisps, but they’re well expensive up there, aren’t they?” Amir said, sipping his pint. “Bleeding fuck, that’s nice.”

“Not worth it,” Dax agreed. “We should bring some next time, Harry can put them in his rucksack, can’t you, mate?”

“Yeah,” Harry said, looking down at his beer.

Y/N tried to catch Harry’s eye again, looking at him as the conversation around them continued on, but he didn’t look at her. She suddenly felt a little sick. Maybe she was overthinking all of this, maybe she was correct for thinking it, maybe this had been his plan all along. He must have only kissed her right here and right now to put on a show for Dax and Amir, to get the exact reaction they had just gotten.

“I just… I just thought it’d look good, you know? To kiss my girlfriend- my pretend girlfriend around other people just to underline that we are… you know…”

It hurt to think about those words, especially now. For a second there she thought he was genuinely kissing her because he wanted to. He was kissing her because he wanted her to stay and she was kissing him back because she was going to. If he wanted her to, she would. But it turned out to be just part of the game. It was just part of their little fake relationship, taking it a step further so Harry’s mates would believe them and what they had even more. After all, he kissed her cheek last time, kissing her lips would only make them believe them even more.

“Terraland on Sunday,” Dax said, clapping his hands together. “Who’s excited?”

“Who is riding in Harry’s van? The gang?” Amir asked. “’Cause I think Fatima was talking about driving her car as well, and, as her cousin, she allowed me shotgun.”

“You can still ride shotgun in Harry’s van, you’ve done it plenty,” Dax said.

“Yes, but I got a cousin pass. I don’t got cousin pass in Harry’s van. It’s a guaranteed shotgun.”

“How come Fatima is good looking, smart, and she’s got a driving license, and you got none of that?” Harry asked, making Dax howl with laughter.

“Just ‘cause we’re family doesn’t mean we’re the same person!” Amir exclaimed, a smile on his face like he knew Harry was just taking the piss. “Admit it, Haz, you think I’m good looking.”

“You are, but you don’t have a driving license.”

“Piss off!” Amir laughed, sipping his beer. “Besides, Y/N’s riding shotgun in Harry’s van, is she not?”

Y/N’s heart started beating faster than it should’ve

“Aw, mate!” Dax stuck his bottom lip out. “What about me?”

“What about you?” Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.

Y/N wanted to sip her beer, but she wouldn’t. She checked her pockets to make sure her phone and keys were there.

“Your girlfriend is getting a free shotgun pass?”

“Obviously,” Harry said, sounding as if it was a given that she was going to ride shotgun to Terraland. “Are you shocked?”

“Disappointed.”

Harry huffed, shaking his head.

“It’s been lovely, but I need to leave,” Y/N said as she stood, brushing sand off her white dress.

“Aw, what about your beer, babe?” Dax asked, looking up at her with big eyes as if he didn’t want her to leave. “I was only taking the mick, you can obviously ride shotgun.”

She smiled. “Nah, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“Alright, mate, we’ll see you Sunday,” Amir smiled.

“Call if you want to talk to someone on the phone, yeah?” Harry said, she could see him almost reaching his hand up for hers but stopping himself when their eyes met.

“Will do,” she answered, giving him a small smile before she walked off.

“Bye!” Dax called and she gave him a wave before continuing on her way. She bit her bottom lip as she walked through the sand, the chatter from the Beach Café loud and the waves crashing against shore supposed to be calming. Walking up the same small hill where Harry had taken her hand last time, she felt the backs of her eyes starting to sting. She put her hands to each of her cheeks, dragging them down as she groaned a little to herself. How could she have been such a bloody fool? Of course, Harry didn’t feel the same about her. He had been clear about his intentions and goals since they started all of this, how could she have somehow done what she wasn’t supposed to in that time? How could she spend the rest of her summer with someone she was for sure going to fall in love with, knowing they were only pretending to love you back?

Reaching the top and the car park, she looked behind her at the boys. Harry was looking in her direction, elbows resting on his bent knees, his beer in one of his hands. At the sight, her stomach did a ridiculous dip she could only assume to be elation mixed with disappointment. She stopped, letting her arms fall to her side, staring at Harry as he stared after her. He turned his body a little more in her direction, as if making to walk after her, but she started walking off before he had a chance.

Sunday, 19 July

Y/N was wearing the same mint green bikini she had that time on the beach with Harry’s family. A pale pink oversized Hawaiian print shirt hung over her shoulders, the hem tucked into a pair of denim shorts, something she had cut herself after finding a pair of light washed jeans at Vintage Divine earlier that week. With her window open, she heard when the loud van came to a stop up front. As she looked at herself in the mirror, about to turn around to go look for herself, she heard a familiar voice.

“Y/N!”

Hearing him shout her name both made her insides tingle with delight and her heart hurt in a way it never had before. She walked over to the window, seeing his arm hang out the side of the car. He poked his head out, adjusting the heart shaped sunglasses on his nose as he looked through the door to the Inn, craning his neck as if he couldn’t see clearly.

“Zip it, Dax,” he hissed, taking his sunglasses off his nose to get a better look inside the Inn. “Alright, Bessie? Y/N there?”

“Oh, she’s upstairs still, want me to get her for you?”

“No, I can come up-“

“-I’ll be down in one,” Y/N called, making Harry look up at her right away. She gave him a slight wave, not knowing if a smile was too much after how they left it two days earlier. However, Harry smiled up at her again, holding her gaze till she closed the window and turned to put everything she needed in her bag. Inhaling hugely, she looked at herself in the mirror again, giving herself a nod as if to say she could do this. Meet Harry and be with Harry, pretend they were together when she secretly fancied him, act as if nothing had changed inside her. She could do this.

She put her tote on her shoulder, placing a pair of pink and big cat eye sunglasses on the top of her head before heading out the door.

“Hiya, Bess,” Y/N grinned as she came down the stairs. “Do you like these?” She pointed to her new sunglasses.

Bessie put her glasses on, and Barb who was standing beside her, quickly did the same. “They’re marvellous, dear! Did you get them at Vintage Divine?”

“I did. Saw them and thought they might’ve been something you would’ve worn in the 80s.” Y/N gestured at a photograph behind Bessie, a group of people on Porthminster Beach, someone who looked an awful lot like Bessie sitting in the middle with a pair of large red sunglasses on her face.

Bessie laughed. “I have a whole lot next door.”

“They’d suit you, darling,” Barb smiled.

“Anyway,” Y/N smiled back, pointing with her thumb over her shoulder. “I better head off. Terraland next, and all that.”

“Have fun!” Bessie called as Y/N stepped outside. Harry still sat with the window open, arm hanging out, watching Y/N as she glanced up at him again. He gave her a little smile, his sunglasses on his nose again. She heard knocks on the back window, and when she looked there, Dax, Ellie, Jo and Cameron were all seated there, waving enthusiastically.

“Y/N, mate!” Dax grinned.

Y/N waved just as enthusiastically back at them, her mouth agape and jumping some up and down before she ran to the other side of the car, getting ready to open the sliding doors to enter the back of the car. But Jo pointed to the seat in front of them, and, upon looking at it, Y/N realised Harry had reserved her the front seat as he promised. Though she was taken aback by this, she also reminded herself that it would look stupid if Harry wanted Y/N to sit in the back with his mates instead of up front with him. She despised that though she got to be close to him, it wasn’t the kind of closeness she wanted; it was intentional, but not on the basis of the kind of intentions she secretly hoped. She opened the door and sat in her seat, closing the door and putting her seatbelt on.

“Hi,” Harry said, but it was drowned in the loud greetings from the backseats.

“Hiya,” Y/N looked away from Harry and smiled at the passengers. “You alright?”

“Buzzing, this is gonna be exactly what we need,” Jo said.

“Also,” Ellie started as Harry started driving off, jolting the van more than Y/N thought would’ve been necessary. When she glanced at him, he was staring straight ahead, chewing on the inside of his cheek. She looked back at Ellie. “We should’ve told you Cam was coming, considering what happened last Saturday.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that again, Y/N,” Cameron said. “Hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“Not at all,” Y/N assured him. “It’s all good.”

“Hold on, hold on,” Dax said, crossing his arms as he glanced between Cameron and Y/N. “What’s this I haven’t heard of? Is it goss?”

“Nothing major, I just tried chattin’ up Y/N, but she’s obviously with Harry.”

Y/N suddenly felt something hot against her bare knee. Rough skin against hers, squeezing her lightly before he turned his hand around, palm facing upward in a silent and hopeful invitation. Glancing over at him, she saw him still staring straight ahead, on the main road that would lead out of St Ives, his hand now free of the gear stick for the time being. She slid her fingers slowly down his forearm, over the blue veins of his wrist, over the tough skin of his palm, and over his long and slender piano fingers. She pressed down on his hand, seeing how hers fit against his fingers, feeling how good and right this was. As she threaded her fingers through his, she felt her heart leap, growing warm and prickly all over as Harry wrapped his fingers over her hand. Their hands rested on her knee, Victim of Love by Elton John playing through the speakers as they settled against one another, sinking and relaxing into this familiar yet new sensation.

It didn’t seem like the others had even noticed this small and silent interaction between her and Harry. The chatter behind them continued on, unfazed by the falsified intimacy in the front seat. She bit at her bottom lip, reminding herself that Harry only acted like this to convince the rest, and if they just sat statically side by side, they might not be as believable as they were holding hands.

“Did Harry have a go at you for that, Cam?” Dax asked. “He’s the quietest bloke around, doesn’t make a fuss, but he’s very possessive, ain’t that right, big man?” Dax gave Harry’s shoulder a squeeze.

“Fuck off, Dax.”

“See,” Dax said, a smile in his voice as he said, “Such a lovely geezer.”

“I reckon Cameron and Y/N could’ve made a decent couple if-“

“-Jo,” Harry said, voice darker than Y/N had ever heard it. “Absolutely not. Is it ‘piss Harry off’ day?”

“That’s what we call Sundays now,” Dax said, making everyone laugh. When Y/N glanced to her right, Harry was laughing as well, dimples deep and crinkles appearing in the red light from his sunglasses. Butterflies started fluttering their wings in her stomach, so Y/N quickly looked away, feeling her cheeks heat up at the sight of a happy Harry.

It took them 35 minutes to reach Terraland, and five of those were spent driving around the car park in search of Fatima’s white Mini. When they finally found it, Ellie started tapping her nail against the window, repeating her best friend’s name over and over again till Harry parked. Everyone got out of the car as Amir appeared from the Mini, raising his arms above his head.

“Let’s go, crew!” he called, banging his hands against his chest.

“Hi, lovelies,” Fatima smiled, helping Y/N out of the passenger seat. “Love that shirt.”

“Aw, thanks.”

“It’s well lush.”

Y/N hadn’t thought she’d ever hear that voice again. For some reason, she thought it would just have stayed on Porthgwidden Beach, never to come back in any shape or form. But when Y/N looked from Fatima and to her friend’s left, Emilia stood by the passenger side, wearing a cute and short green sundress, her long blonde hair hanging loosely over her shoulders. It took everything in Y/N to prevent her left eye from twitching.

“Hi,” Y/N said, closing the door behind her.

“Love your sunglasses as well,” Emilia continued. “You’re a right fashion icon.”

“Flower,” Harry said from the other side of the car, knocking on the bonnet of the car to get her attention.

She blinked, taking a step backward to look over at Harry. Flower. He must’ve been talking to her – who else would he call by such a tender name? - but it didn’t feel real. When their eyes met though, he gave her a little smile, waving her over so they could walk to the entrance and get a ticket. Y/N gave Emilia and Fatima a polite smile before she walked around the front of the car and toward Harry.

“So,” Y/N started, voice low so they could talk in private. “Emilia is here.”

Harry looked behind them, obviously looking for his ex. “Guess so,” he said, staring ahead again. “Ellie mentioned Cameron asking if she could come.”

“Why?”

“They’re mates.”

“But is she friends with your friends?”

Harry chuckled some. “They’re friendly, they used to be together quite a lot, you know?”

“Being friendly and being friends are two very different things.”

Harry inhaled hugely, glancing at Y/N for a few seconds. “I know you don’t rate Emilia.”

“I try to stay neutral.”

“But you don’t know her.”

“Listen,” Y/N sighed. “I’ve told you this, but from what you’ve said about her-“

“-I know, I know.” Harry shoved his hands into the pockets of his pink and yellow swimming shorts. “I get where you’re coming from now, but just… be nice. We don’t need to make this awkward.”

“I won’t make it awkward,” Y/N said, chinning up. “I will just put gasoline onto her fire if she tries to flirt with you in front of everyone.”

Harry bit his bottom lip, Y/N thought she could see a slight smile there.

“That’s what’ll make it awkward.”

Everyone bought their tickets and once they entered the park, they started straight for one of the pools. A row of palm trees stood on either side as they walked into the adventure park, the screams and rumble from roller coasters and other carousels sounded from everywhere around them along with the hum of pools and water around them, the smell of chlorine and fish and chips in the air. It was a colourful park, Y/N noted, each rollercoaster a different colour and each ride with a long queue standing beside it. Kids ran around, their parents following them, and other gangs of people like the one she accompanied could be found every here and there. A Terraland Radio was playing across the speakers that were hidden away in the palm trees and bushes, some mainstream pop songs that Y/N only knew a few words to but recognised by melody.

Dax led the way to the pool they usually chilled by, finding a few free sunbeds on the second row closest to it, making everyone thank him one by one before sitting down. Harry and Y/N shared a parasol, because Y/N reckoned it would look odd otherwise. She took her shoes off, followed by her shirt and then her shorts. When she looked over in Harry’s direction, he was unbuttoning his own shirt, clumsily finding each button as his gaze rested on her, eyes on her thighs for a split second before he realised she was staring at him. Their eyes met and he looked away, blinking hastily as if he was knocking some sense into himself mentally. Y/N pressed her lips together, trying not to read too much into anything because it wouldn’t lead anywhere good.

She rummaged through her bag and brought out her sunblock, putting some on each of her arms before she started smearing it on.

“Good call,” Fatima said, nodding at the sunblock bottle. “Also, what do you lot call sun lotion?”

“Sunscreen,” Jo said. “And that’s the only correct way of referring to it.”

“Sun lotion,” Fatima and Amir said at the same time, though Amir threw in a cheeky “you daft cow.”

“Sunblock,” Y/N chimed in, putting her foot on her sunbed so she could get it everywhere down her leg.

“Sunscreen,” Emilia exclaimed, letting out a groan afterwards. “It’s obviously the only right one.”

“Sunblock.” It was not as forcefully uttered as the one previous, but Y/N heard it reverberate throughout her entire body. “Gotta agree with Y/N,” Harry said.

“Well, obviously,” Amir laughed. “Or else he won’t be getting any later, yeah?”

“Mate, there you go again. You’re way too invested in other people’s sex life,” Harry said. “It’s creepy.”

“It’s ‘cause he’s not shaggin’ any at the moment.” Dax didn’t seem bothered as he took Amir’s sunblock, putting some on his own chest. “He’s deprived.”

Amir only wiggled his eyebrows at his two friends, making Dax furrow his brows at him. Y/N only chuckled as she finished covering her legs in the sunblock, she didn’t even get to think it herself before she heard a low, “Do you want me to do your back?” behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder at Harry who was standing just behind her under the parasol, a few white spots on his face after not smearing his sunblock properly. Giggling a little she nodded at his face, a smile erupted onto Harry’s face, his dimples deepening.

“What?”

“You’ve got…” She gestured at him.

“I’ve got?”

“Face.”

“I’ve got a face?”

She laughed, bringing her hand to her chest, leaning her head forward a bit and hearing Harry’s tiny giggles in her ear as he joined in.

“You’ve got sunblock on your face,” she elaborated, looking up at him again.

“Fix it.”

She hadn’t expected him to say that, but hearing his slight demand made a hot shiver run up her spine. Without hesitation, she reached up, dabbing the sunblock properly into his skin. She felt him watch her the entire time, his eyes not wavering from her face as she focused on his, smudging the rest of the sunblock down his nose and across his forehead. He reached up, wiping his thumb slowly across her cheek.

“What was that for?” she whispered.

“Sunblock,” Harry answered, but Y/N hadn’t put any on her face yet.

She swallowed thickly. “Can you do my back?”

Harry nodded, taking the bottle from Y/N before she turned around for him. She heard him put some onto his fingers before he touched her upper back. Placing the bottle on the round table attached to the parasol, Harry reached for the strap of her right shoulder, lifting it slightly to get his hand under it. It was instinct that took over when Y/N dug her nails into the palms of her hand, willing herself to calm down, nothing major was happening, he was just applying sunblock to her back. His warm hand stroked over her shoulder, thumb giving her a light caress before he placed her strap back onto her back, moving onto the next shoulder. Again, he lifted her bikini strap, stroking his hand slowly over her skin, making a swarm of butterflies fly wildly around in circles in her lower tummy, places that shouldn’t heat up were heating up. Y/N knew the effect of Harry’s hands on her were visible on her face, but she still prayed no one could tell.

She heard him put even more onto his fingers before he started working on her lower back. The tips of his fingers ran under the body of her bikini top, all the way from her side, over her back, and to the other side. She felt herself inhale, startled in the best way possible to feel him there. He halted, she was sure he was looking up at her; lips parted, eyes hooded. But he continued on, his hands moving down her back. When he reached her bikini bottoms, he was sure not to be disrespectful when he ran his fingertips under the hem as to get every possible surface that could be exposed to the sun today. Another wave of heat ran over her.

“Done,” he said, and Y/N quickly stepped away.

“Want me to do yours?”

Harry nodded and turned around. Y/N sucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she put sunblock directly into Harry’s back, watching it stick to his tanned and freckled skin. Putting the bottle away, she smeared each of her hands along his shoulders and shoulder blades, taking her time to both make sure he was fully covered but also because she would never be this up close and personal with him again. She had to be near him now that she had the opportunity to.

She heard a whistle to their left, Jo standing there and raising their eyebrows at them. “Alright, alright, you two.”

Y/N only laughed it off and Harry stayed silent, but she could see a slight pink shade to his neck that hadn’t been there before. She ran her hands over his love handles, taking in how soft they were, and how all of him was just that. Soft. It felt good touching him and she wanted to touch him forever.

She stepped away when she was done, smearing the sunblock left on her hands down her stomach before she put the bottle away. Harry checked his phone, answering a text from Jessa as Y/N sat down on the sunbed, looking over at Fatima who was helping Ellie apply sunblock onto her back.

“Flower,” Harry said, making her heart lurch. “What’re you doing Friday August 7th?”

“Dunno.”

“Would you come to this ‘end of summer’ gathering at the farm?”

She smiled, nodding her head at him and he smiled back, typing away a text before putting his phone away.

Harry turned to Y/N. “Right, the sunblock needs to dry off-“

“-Harry, do you wanna take the Mammoth?” Emilia walked over to them, looking so gorgeous in her red swimming suit that Y/N felt ill. “I remember it’s the only one you’ll actually take ‘cause it’s not so fast.”

“I, uhm…” Harry glanced at Y/N, then at Emilia again. “My sunblock needs to dry some before I can do anything.”

“Alright, but we can take it once it’s dried?” Emilia grinned.

Harry met Y/N’s eyes. “You in?”

Y/N pursed her lips as she pretended to think about it. “Yeah, alright.”

Harry looked to Emilia again, giving her a friendly smile. “I’m just gonna hang here for a bit, we can get the whole lot to go on the water coaster.”

“One’s gotta stay behind with everyone’s stuff, though,” Y/N pointed out.

“Yeah, but that won’t be you,” Harry said. “I might have a panic attack; I need you there.”

Y/N scrunched up her nose as if she didn’t believe Harry, but he only raised his eyebrows, silently daring her to oppose him.

“Fine, we’ll ask someone else to stay behind.”

“Great,” Emilia said before walking off.

Y/N couldn’t help her slight scoff, a breath of a laughter escaping through her nose as she tried to fight a smile to spread across her lips.

“What?” Harry asked, sitting down in his sunbed.

“She’s trying so hard to get close to you. She obviously wants you alone.”

Harry was quiet for a moment, as if he was examining that whole moment all over again. “Getting me alone won’t change anything.”

Y/N glanced at him. “Oh?”

They held each other’s gaze, Harry’s dimples deepening with each second passing. “You act unbothered, but you’re very nosey.”

Y/N’s mouth fell open. “Harry!”

He giggled, looking straight ahead at the pool where Dax was diving headfirst, Cameron stood clapping on the side, cheering him on. For a minute or two, none of them said anything, both relaxing in the cooling shade of the orange parasol.

“So,” Y/N started, Harry’s eyes falling on her as she continued to watch their friends play in the pool. “Are you gonna go on the water coaster? Didn’t think you liked roller coasters.”

“I don’t,” Harry answered truthfully, putting a hand behind his head as he leaned back against the sunbed. “But… are you gonna go?”

“On the Mammoth?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Harry nodded. “Then I will, too.”

Y/N looked over at Harry, but quickly averted her eyes when she saw he was already looking. She detected a slight lift to the edges of his lips in her peripheral vision, but, for the sake of her own sanity, she tried to ignore it. Y/N watched as Ellie ran from her sunbed and to the rest of the gang, squealing as she cannonballed into the pool. Amir stood howling with laughter as Fatima was once again soaked with chlorine where she sat on the side of the poolside, gasping and cursing Ellie once her friend returned to the surface. 

With her eyebrows raised, Y/N glanced at Harry again, but he didn’t seem to know what she was getting at till she stood up from the sunbed. She ran for the pool, weaving through people to get to their friends. Just as she was about to jump, she felt something on her waist. She looked over her shoulder just in time to catch Harry, wrapping his arms around her torso and bringing her skin flush against his. She screamed as Harry threw her off her feet, turning the two around as he jumped, back first. A short scream was heard before the two disappeared together, floating in the crystal clear and blue water. She felt him let go of her, pushing her toward the surface. Once she was up again, swimming towards the side of the pool, she looked behind her just as Harry came up for air, shaking his head to get the water out of his hair.

“Twat,” she said.

Harry grinned, reaching for her ankle.

“No!”

He dragged her toward him, but she splashed him, preventing him from doing whatever he was about to. Quickly, she swam for the edge of the pool, jumping up to sit there as Harry followed her. She couldn’t help her smile, feeling so incredibly giddy to see him watching her, touching her, being with her. Never before had she just felt so happy by the mere presence of another; maybe something happened in the air around them when they were together, or maybe there was a special kind of cellular reaction when they touched, but Y/N never wanted this to end. She knew it was all pretend, knew he was only doing this to further this fake relationship, but she would bask in it till it was over. And when it was over in August, she’d deal with the heartbreak then.

Harry reached her, a hand wrapping around her ankle and squeezing lightly.

“No,” Y/N chuckled. “I’m ticklish.”

“I know.”

Harry put a hand on each side of her figure before he slowly got up, resting his soaking body against her legs. It was hard to fight her want to look down at his lips, knowing that right about now they were probably wet and pinker than she had ever seen them before. They hadn’t even talked about that kiss on the beach a few days ago, it didn’t feel like it had been acknowledged at all. In a way Y/N was glad it hadn’t come up because the conversation would most likely be very awkward, but she couldn’t go on like this. They had to set a few boundaries for the rest of the summer, and though they were getting very comfortable around each other like best friends did, she couldn’t be kissing him. She just couldn’t. Because her head and her heart were telling her two very different things, and she knew for certain that if he were to kiss her again, she would fall in love with him. That was if she wasn’t well on the way to doing that already. But kissing him didn’t exactly help her from not feeling these kinds of things for him.

However, when Harry’s eyes scanned her lips and sucked his own into his mouth and between his teeth, Y/N suddenly forgot everything she had just been thinking about. He made it incredibly hard not to want to kiss him. With a sigh he pushed off and sat down beside her, watching as Dax jumped onto Jo’s back, trying to wrestle them under water.

After a little while, Y/N went back up to sunbathe, Fatima and Ellie joining her not long after that. Though Y/N knew she shouldn’t, she kept an eye on the pool where Harry, Cameron, Jo, Dax, Amir, and Emilia were all having fun. Emilia wasn’t touching up Harry, though Y/N did notice her looking over in his direction a little too often for it to be just a friend checking up on a friend. However, Emilia’s feelings were none of Y/N’s concern, and if she kept it to herself till Y/N and Harry “broke up” in August, then Y/N wouldn’t say anything. Well… she would be annoyed, but it all ultimately depended on what Harry wanted, so it was all out of her hands anyway.

Ellie and Jo stayed put as the rest went to go take the water coaster. It took them about 15 minutes to just stand in the queue and wait for their turn, but in that time, they divided the uneven group into a gang of three and another of four. Amir, Emilia, Harry, and Y/N would be in one while Fatima, Cameron, and Dax would take the other. This proved to not be the craziest of rides seeing as loads of kids and their parents were in the queue with the group, but Y/N hadn’t taken too many roller coasters in her life, so she appreciated the easing in. And, once it was finally their turn, Y/N found herself having an amazing time. Looking over at Harry every once in a while, he didn’t seem to be as terrified as he claimed to be. The water splashed around them, and as they reached the pool at the end of the ride, Y/N fell off the inflatable boat. Harry laughed but followed her, making sure she was alright before the two of them swam to the edge of the pool

The two of them went back to their sunbeds after that, letting Ellie and Jo run and join the rest of the group while they took the SuperSplash. Though Y/N was sure she would quite like the SuperSplash, she also knew Harry wasn’t the biggest fan of rollercoasters and she was here because of him. The two just sat there in silence for the next half an hour and some, only occasionally exchanging a few words, but quickly and comfortably falling back into a pleasant quiet. At some point, Y/N almost dozed off, a small and sleepy moan leaving her lips as it usually did when she almost fell asleep. She heard a chuckle beside her and when she opened her eyes to look over at Harry, he was shaking with restrained laughter. She leaned over and swatted his bicep, making Harry laugh even more.

Everyone came back not too long after that and they all went for a snack. Harry and Y/N each got their fish and chips – just chips for Y/N - walking back to their sunbeds to eat because Harry needed to inject insulin before he could start eating.

Ellie sat down with Y/N on Y/N’s sunbed so the two of them could have a chat while eating. Y/N noticed how Harry was stood beside her sunbed all of a sudden, talking to Fatima who laid sunbathing still, and when Y/N glanced to Harry’s sunbed, Emilia was sitting at the edge of it, chatting to Cameron who was on the sunbed beside Harry’s. She hated that she felt like laughing, a stupid sort of victorious feeling erupting in her chest.

With their bellies full and ready for new adventures, Dax suggested some other rides that Harry didn’t want to tag along on. However, he assured Y/N it was fine if she wanted to, so she said yes, but regretted it the second Emilia volunteered to stay back with Harry. Y/N knew Harry didn’t need her to babysit him, he knew how to handle and talk to his ex, but she still hated the fact that the two of them were staying put while the rest went off to have fun. For the short minute they were on the water ride, Y/N forgot about Harry and Emilia, simply enjoying herself and laughing along with the rest of her new friends. But when they came back and Emilia was laughing, she sat beside Harry on his sunbed and was looking at him in a way that made Y/N’s stomach drop.

Harry must’ve heard Dax’s loud voice, because he got up from the sunbed and started walking toward them, not looking behind him.

“What’re we doing next?” he asked, looking at Y/N who hadn’t expected his eagerness to do another ride, but she appreciated it nevertheless.

“Sky Swinger,” Cameron said, giving Harry’s shoulder a squeeze. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered, though Y/N could hear a reluctance in his voice that she didn’t think Cameron or anyone else really did. Dax must’ve, because he wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulder and they started walking in the direction of the Sky Swinger.

Y/N didn’t bother looking over her shoulder to see if anyone was sitting back to watch all their stuff along with Emilia, because, at this point, it was quite clear what Emilia wanted to do. It made Y/N so very mad that someone thought they could remove themselves completely from someone’s life because they were going through a hard time, and then expect to go back to how things used to be now that they weren’t as broken up anymore. Part of her wanted to give Emilia the benefit of the doubt, but she didn’t like how Harry’s ex was acting right now and, by the looks of Harry’s eagerness to get away from her, he was starting to maybe put two and two together as well.

“This, your sensor,” Y/N asked as they stood in the queue for the Sky Swinger. “It’s waterproof?”

“Yeah, or else I wouldn’t be here,” Harry gave her a little smile.

“Isn’t it hard to regulate your blood sugar when you’re running about like this?”

“Yeah, since I’m active it can drop quite quickly, but we just ate and I just injected, so I’ll be fine for the time being.”

Y/N nodded, dropping her voice some as she said. “I feel like I should know more about this.”

“About what?”

“Type 1 diabetes, any type, really.”

“You don’t have to.”

She met his eyes. “I want to. It’s a big part of your life so I want to understand, and it’s not your job to teach me how it works.”

He held her gaze for a second, about to say something when Dax chanted something, making everyone follow him to take their seats. There hadn’t been visible regret on Harry’s face till that very moment. Y/N sat down in a seat and Harry sat down in the one closest to her, looking over at Amir who took the seat in front of his. From previous experiences, Y/N knew Harry wasn’t afraid of heights, but by the looks of how nervous he was now, she suspected he might be afraid of losing control; of not being in total control.

Someone came to check if their belts were fastened properly, and again, Y/N glanced over at Harry who was staring straight ahead, wide-eyed.

“Hey,” Y/N said, catching Harry’s attention right away. “Look at me, yeah?”

He swallowed, holding onto the chain on either side of him.

“Just look at me.”

And as they took off, that was exactly what Harry did. He looked at Y/N, kept his eyes on her the entire time they were in the air. However much she wanted to reach over and comfort Harry, she was absolutely loving the entire ride. She was grinning from ear to ear, throwing her head back sometimes and just relishing in the feeling of the wind blowing through her hair, the warm summer air hitting her face at a comfortable pace, making it possible to see the orange afternoon sun. When she looked at Harry again, he was still staring at her, having taken her advice to look at her seriously. Part of her felt very giddy about that.

When they were done with the ride, Harry’s hands were shaking slightly so Y/N came over to help him with his seatbelt. He rose and fell against her, hugging her to him.

“Hey, you,” Y/N cooed, rubbing his back. “You’re okay.”

She felt him breathe against her neck, his hot skin flush against all of her own, and it took absolutely everything in her not to close her eyes and enjoy this moment like she usually would’ve. It was clear that, no matter how small the rollercoaster, Harry had not enjoyed that one bit. So, Y/N continued to rub his back, repeating “you’re okay” over and over till it seemed he believed her.

After that, the group dried off and started getting ready to head back to St Ives. Everyone exchanged different stories from the day, recreating stupid faces someone had made on a ride or sulking over other ones they didn’t get to but would have to save for next year. They started making their way back to the car park, Fatima strolling beside Y/N and Jo quickly joining in on the conversation. It felt so natural to be with them now that it seemed almost unreal that at some point she would not only have to break up with Harry, but in a way, she would have to break up with her little gang as well. She wouldn’t even get the proper opportunity to say goodbye to everyone, she would just have to leave. Out of all of them, it would be hardest to say goodbye to Harry, but his family, Bessie, the knitting club, and her new friends, would also take a lot out of her.

They all sat down in Harry or Fatima’s car, waving at each other as they drove off. Everyone was still excitedly chatting amongst themselves, going over each of the events of the day again, Dax talking and laughing the loudest out of everyone. Even Harry seemed to be continuously smiling, loving the atmosphere in the van. Though everyone was  tired, they were even more eager to talk for the little while they were still together, which made the volume in the car intolerable at times, but Y/N enjoyed herself nevertheless.

As Harry dropped more and more people off, Y/N quickly realised that the last person he would be driving back was her. The last 15 minutes were therefore spent trying to figure out how best to bring everything up, how to talk about the kiss and that she would appreciate them not kissing again. After all, if he kissed her one more time, it would only make her fall in love with him. That first kiss had been enough to make her realise that she did indeed fancy him, but since Harry was only doing this as part of their fake relationship, she wouldn’t be able to take it any longer.

Harry stopped outside the Inn, putting the car in park before he turned to look at her, giving her a small smile as the orange sun shone in on them, about to slide down over the horizon behind her.

“You liked Terraland?” Harry enquired, sitting back in his seat and turning his upper body in her direction.

“It was so much fun.”

“Yeah? You’d wanna do it again?”

Y/N smiled at him. “Don’t think we’d have the time to go there again before the summer ends, at least not all of us.”

Harry let out a slight huff, nodding his head some before putting the heart shaped sunglasses on the top of his head. “You’re right. We’ll have to do it again next summer.”

It took absolutely every single shred of self-control not to look away as she said, “You lot will have an absolute blast.”

It took two seconds before Harry caught on and understood what she was implying, and when he did, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but Y/N beat him to it.

“Harry, listen…” She inhaled, looking down at the gear stick between them. “We need to talk about what happened the other day.”

He blinked a few times before nodding, staying quiet because he knew her well enough to know she wasn’t done speaking.

“About… the beach, and the kiss, and… us- this.”

“Our relation- Our fake relationship.”

“Exactly.”

He nodded again, watching her intensely.

“As lovely as that kiss was… I don’t think we should do that again,” she said, trying to sound as considerate as possible. If Harry wanted them to kiss in front of their friends to further prove that they were “together”, then Y/N would feel bad about cancelling that plan of his. However, she had to do this.

“What…” Harry furrowed his brows some before he regained his composure. “What do you mean?”

“Well, uhm…” She met his eyes again. “I don’t want to kiss you.” Not like that.

Slowly, his lips parted, and he tipped his head to the side, as if properly contemplating her words. He glanced away from her, eyes on the beach behind her and then on the dashboard.

“Okay… I just… I thought…” Harry shut his mouth, shaking his head slightly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“No, no.” She shook her head. “We weren’t clear on boundaries and such before we even started, we didn’t set any rules.”

“But I didn’t do something you didn’t want me to today, right?” he asked, talking fast as if he was afraid of the answer. “At the water park?”

“No.”

He nodded, placing his back against his seat and staring at the street in front of him. As he thought, his hands rested between his legs, thumb sliding over the other while he seemed to be contemplating everything that had happened the last few days. “You want rules then?”

She pressed her lips together as she regarded him. “Maybe. Just one.”

“No kissing?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“What about the party, Dax’s birthday?” Harry furrowed as he thought back on it. “When I kissed your cheek.”

“That’s fine, just… no kissing now. Especially not on the lips.” She tried to laugh a bit after that, but it sounded forced and not at all like herself. “They’ve seen it once now, so whatever happens we’ve done it once.”

Harry’s frown deepened and he looked over at her. “What, who's seen what?”

“Dax and Amir,” Y/N explained. “They saw us kiss. We kind of established what we set out to do, they believe us now.”

“Right,” Harry said, voice low as he looked at the road again, nodding slightly. “You’re right. We’re believable now.”

“Exactly.”

Harry inhaled, looking down at his hands. “There’s a barbeque at the farm next Saturday, if you wanna come.”

She smiled, watching him for a few more seconds before saying, “I thought there was gonna be a barbeque on August 7th?”

“That’s the ‘end of summer’ party where basically most of the people we are close to in St Ives are invited, I usually play some piano, and we eat loads of food, because Jessa likes feeding people.”

Y/N laughed; she saw a slight smile appear on Harry’s face as well. “Okay, so the ‘end of summer’ party is in two weeks, and barbeque next Saturday.”

“Yeah. And there will be no kisses on the menu. Sorry ‘bout that.”

She only smiled at him, waiting till he looked up at her before talking. “It’s okay, Harry. Let’s just… not kiss again, yeah?”

He nodded his head, biting his bottom lip. Y/N reached for her tote bag, putting it over her shoulder as she opened the passenger side door, giving Harry a grin when she was outside.

“Thanks for today, H.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

Y/N closed the door and walked in front of the car, standing by the entrance to the Inn when Harry pulled the car out of park and drove off a little faster than he normally would. She watched him till he was out of sight, feeling both happy that they wouldn’t do anything that could maybe make her fall harder for him, and sad that they wouldn’t at the same time. She wanted to kiss Harry. Wanted to kiss him so badly that she felt completely numb as the knowledge that she would never kiss him again washed over her. It was emptying her of everything but the memory of Harry’s lips against hers, his hand on her neck, their souls connecting, detaching, and reconnecting again with each peck, each stroke of their tongues, each frantic exhale. Instinctively, she reached up, resting her hand against her lips, hoping to find some traces of Harry there that she could hold onto when a time came where he wasn’t a physical reality of hers anymore.

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 11 October, 9PM GMT!

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with friends like these

Summary: Apollo gets his wisdom teeth out, and Clay babysits.

Link to AO3 in the notes.

"Apollo, buddy. Buddy. You gotta lie back down."

Apollo blinks owlishly at Clay, swaying in place in the middle of the kitchen. God, Clay would feel better if he at least had the sense to lean against the counter. "But I want coffee."

"No coffee for you," Clay says, forcing himself to be stern despite the dreading anticipation of the way Apollo's expression falls, comically sad. AJ always looks younger than he is, as a big brave twenty-year-old, but the sad little pout while he's out of his mind on painkillers, cheeks swollen from surgery? He looks like he's twelve. Adorable. Clay feels bad for him, he really does—he got his own wisdom teeth out last year and he remembers how much it sucked—but the little baby pout just makes him want to smile. "You'll wind yourself up something good, sunshine."

"It's not that much caffeine," Apollo tries to say, even as he lets Clay catch him by the arm and pull him, stumbling, out of the kitchenette. "An' it would make me feel more awake."

"You don't need to feel more awake, you need to rest."

"But I've got stuff to do," Apollo says, mournfully. Clay manages to wrangle him back over to the couch and nudge him back down onto the cushions. Apollo makes doe eyes up at him while Clay grabs the nearest blanket to wrap around his shoulders. "I gotta work on my readings—"

"It's winter break, you don't have readings."

"But next semester."

"You don't have any advance readings yet. You checked and told me so before the surgery."

"I have to stay ahead," Apollo says. His eyelids droop. "I gotta be good at my classes so I can be a good lawyer."

"You're gonna be a great lawyer. But you aren't a lawyer yet, and you don't have any classes right now, so just take it easy, okay?"

Apollo opens his eyes again to peer back up at Clay. "My mouth hurts."

"I know. Sorry, buddy. Not time for more painkillers yet. You want me to grab you the ice pack again? Get the rest of your shake?"

Apollo nods, still looking glum. Clay dutifully returns to the kitchen to retrieve an ice pack from the freezer, which he wraps in a kitchen towel, and the rest of Apollo's post-surgery chocolate shake out of the fridge. When he gets back out to the living room, Apollo has toppled over to be horizontal on the couch. Clay puts the necessities down on the coffee table and scoops Apollo's legs up onto the couch so he isn't twisted all funny. The last thing the poor thing needs is unnecessary strain making him uncomfortable. He ruffles Apollo's hair. Apollo leans into the touch. Aww.

"Anything else I can grab you?"

"Can you sit with me? I wanna watch you play games."

"Aw, sure. What do you wanna watch?"

"I dunno. Anything's fine."

"Let's play some Odyssey, then. I'll go grab the Switch."

Apollo brightens, just like Clay thought he would. He always did like playing on Clay's Switch when they were kids. Even for Clay, it's hard not to be transported back to sleepovers, hushed giggles as they tried not to tip Clay's dad off that they were staying up late while they played games under the covers, whenever he picks it back up to replay something. He knows the memories are even more precious to Apollo, who spent so much of his adolescence struggling through foster system bullshit.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, sit tight."

When Clay comes back, Apollo has propped himself up enough to try to drink more of his shake. It dribbles out of his mouth.

"Oh, man. You got a little, uh—"

Apollo looks frustrated. "Did I miss again? I still can't feel my lower lip."

"Yeah, no, it's, um—you're fine, just let me—" Clay grabs a tissue off the box on the coffee table and wipes Apollo's face. "There you go."

"Thanks," Apollo says. He smiles, wobbly but true. "You're the best."

"No problem, sunshine," Clay says, smiling. He moves around the room, getting the Switch hooked up to the port so it will show up on the TV, before he lifts Apollo's upper body out of the way so he can slide onto the couch with him. Apollo's head ends up propped on his thigh. He helps Apollo adjust himself so there's no pressure on his cheeks, and he can easily hold the ice packs in place while seeing the screen. "Here we go."

"Let's-a go," Apollo says, in a terrible Mario impression. Clay barks out a laugh and starts the game.

"Goofball."

They don't get very far into the game before Clay is pretty sure Apollo starts to doze beside him. His breathing evens out and his weight goes limp. That's fine. He's warm and cozy, and Clay likes being someone he feels comfortable enough with to sleep around. If this is helping him feel a little better while he's in pain, Clay's satisfied. It's not like it's a hardship to sit here and play video games and be his pillow.

But the fact that he thinks Apollo's mostly asleep does mean Clay almost gets the shit scared out of him when Apollo says, suddenly, "Clay."

"Jesus!" Clay fumbles a jump and Mario goes plummeting to his doom. Oops.

"Yes, hello, hi. I thought you were napping, buddy. What's up?"

"You know you're my best friend, right?"

"Yeah? Of course."

"You know?" Apollo rolls so he's mostly on his back, looking up at Clay with big, sad doe eyes again. Clay stares back down at him, befuddled. Of course he knows. "Cause I—I know I'm kinda bitchy sometimes—"

"Aw, Apollo—"

"An' I can't help you with your smart science stuff a lot—"

"That's not—"

"An' I get really anxious and you have to babysit me sometimes an' I yell at you for it—"

"Apollo—"

"But you're really important to me and it would suck if you didn't know just 'cause I'm stupid."

"You aren't stupid," Clay says. He ruffles Apollo's hair again. Apollo's eyes slide closed, lips tugging back into the miserable little pout. "I know I'm your best friend. You're plenty nice to me. Just 'cause you're a little prickly when you're stressed doesn't mean you don't make it obvious that you care about people."

Apollo sniffles. Oh, no. Case in point, though.

"And you don't have to worry about not helping me with science stuff," Clay adds. "I know I'm not that helpful with your law stuff, either. You're way better at helping me review than I am at helping you review."

At least that makes Apollo smile a little. "Jus' easier to read formulas off notecards than legal definitions."

"You can say that again." Clay will take astrophysics over civil law any day. "Besides, you're the best hype-man I could hope for. Who else is gonna get me super pumped to go to space even though it scares the piss out of you?"

"It's so high up," Apollo whines, making Clay cackle. He never thinks about fear of heights as an issue with spaceflight until Apollo mentions it. "An' there's the whole vacuum and no air and you're just going in a tin can—"

"Don't talk about my girl Hattie like that, she's perfect."

"An' even Mr. Starbuck is nervous about it."

"And you help Sol get psyched for it too," Clay says. He pats Apollo gently on the shoulder. "Which is exactly what I'm talking about."

Apollo sighs.

"I know we're best friends, sunshine," Clay adds, more gently. "Come on. You think I would agree to live with you if I didn't know you liked me? I bet you could pull some real passive-aggressive roommate pranks if you wanted to."

Apollo huffs out a tiny laugh. "Maybe."

"There we go. We're fine, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Say it with me. We're fine."

"We're fine."

"You're Apollo Justice and you're fine."

"I'm fine!"

"That's my boy." Mario has fallen asleep standing up on-screen. Clay is considering whether or not he should keep playing or encourage Apollo to go take a real nap when Apollo shifts beside him. Clay lifts his arms out of the way on instinct, holding the controller aloft, when Apollo braces himself on shaky arms to turn and crawl the rest of the way over to plop himself down in Clay's lap. "Wh-oa, buddy. Hi there. You want cuddles?"

"Yeah," Apollo mumbles. He drops his head onto Clay's shoulder. Clay carefully shifts his weight and settles down against the back of the couch, letting it take both of their weight. He doesn't think of Apollo as a big guy, because he's not, but geez. A whole adult human does kind of weigh a lot. Good thing Clay's been beefing up for his training. "Are you at the moon yet?"

"Nope. Only at the gardens. It hasn't been that long."

"You're gonna get to the moon someday," Apollo says, with loopy certainty. Clay almost bites down on a grin before he remembers that Apollo can't see him anymore and he can smile as much as he wants, safe from scrutiny. "You're gonna be a kickass astronaut."

"Aw, thanks, bud."

"You're really smart. And good at solving problems."

"Flatterer," Clay says, grin spreading wider. God, he wishes he'd thought to grab his phone and start recording this. Yeah, he does know he's Apollo's best friend and Apollo loves him and all that, but he sure as hell doesn't get this mushy often. It's really cute.

"You deserve it. You're the best friend in the world, Clay," Apollo declares, and promptly passes out on Clay's shoulder.

---

"Anyway," Clay finishes. He knocks back the rest of his mocha. "That's what AJ was like when he got his wisdom teeth out, so like I said. Don't be too embarrassed about it."

Klavier is laughing so hard he's almost crying, a hand slapped over his mouth to muffle the sound of it. Apollo's in the kitchen right now, cooking the three of them brunch. Hopefully the sizzle of frying eggs and sausage covers the sound of Clay's indiscretions out in the living room. Clay's dead meat if it doesn't.

"He never mentioned," Klavier manages to get out, when he finally gets himself under control. "How cute."

"It was pretty great," Clay says, fondly. "But please don't tell him I told you about that. I don't want to die before I make it to the moon, and he will actually kill me for realsies."

"Your secret is safe with me." Klavier props his chin on his hand, grinning. "Has he ever gotten quite so affectionate other times?"

"If he's drunk enough, yeah."

"I'll have to keep it in mind, then."

"S'why I told you," Clay says. He considers the sly, affectionate curl of Klavier's smile for a second before he adds, "But don't bully him too hard afterwards, or you will lose drunk Apollo privileges. Only moderate mortification allowed."

"Would he be taking the privileges away or would you?"

Clay lets his own smile go sharper. He likes Klavier just fine, and he doesn't really believe he'd be that mean to Apollo, but... well, Apollo's Clay's best friend, too. He has obligations if Apollo's boyfriend is an asshole to him. "Fuck around and find out."

"Fair enough, Herr Astronaut," Klavier says. There's a clatter of plates in the kitchen as the sizzling dies down.

"Food's ready!" Apollo hollers. Clay casts Klavier a glance; Klavier mimes zipping his lips, winking. They both push away from the table to wander into the kitchen. Apollo bustles around fixing a plate of food, a pile of hashbrowns and sausage and eggs. Klavier creeps up behind him and puts his hands over Apollo's hips. Apollo startles, almost knocking him away. His cheeks go pink.

"What do you think you're doing? Clay's literally right there."

"Don't mind me," Clay says, cheerfully. He loves having ammunition to give Apollo hell over later.

"I think he already has an inkling that we're dating, Liebling," Klavier murmurs. He leans down to kiss the top of Apollo's head. Apollo gently elbows him in the gut, pushing Klavier away as his cheeks go even redder.

"Yeah, and he's already insufferable enough about it without you hanging off me in front of him. Come on, back off."

Klavier obligingly steps back. He and Clay begin to fix their own plates. Hovering nearby, Apollo asks, suspiciously, "What were you two gossiping about out there, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing," Clay says. He smiles sweetly when Apollo narrows his eyes at him. "By the way, AJ?"

"What?"

"You're the best friend in the world."

#klapollo #clay terran #apollo justice #klavier gavin #ace attorney #not art #long post

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 14 reactions: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME BUT ALSO I’M CRYING edition

- the good good din characterization is back after all the weirdness last episode!!!! that soft way he says ‘no, no, I’m not mad at you’? THAT’S din djarin, he would not be fucking impatient with his son having just been informed and seen for himself that he is terrified, go away mr filoni I know you’ve got all of canon memorized but you don’t get this lol. this feels much more right in how din being conflicted and still thinking he should give the baby away for his own good plays out too  

honestly every line of dialogue for him in this one was perfect I was just whispering ‘I love this awkward clueless wonderful man just doing his best’ to myself any time he said anything. “...does this look Jedi to you?” sir I adore you more than words can describe

- we got din chuckling. asjdklfhsdkafghsdafsadhjkfsdahjkfh. fskahfksjad. side note: I can’t believe my joke post about din desperately trying to Force home school the kid with the one (1) jedi trick he knows about and the baby being delighted by it over and over anyway -- listen to his expectant excited laugh when din takes the ball and sets up the game!!!! -- was canon all along. and then the baby & mando music kicking in when he gently put the silver ball into the baby’s hands again and tells him he’s special (because he IS special. to din)? hmng. hmmmmnnnnn  

they opened on the height of softness so we would all crumple under the weight of the rest of the episode and that was very mean of them in a way I sincerely appreciate 

- nothing to see here... just a dad trying to walk through the literal manifestation of the unassailable underlying forces of the universe to get to his baby again and again........ the desperation in that, the love, the foolhardy devotion................... shit

- okay so I might be a dumbass, but I’d never noticed this before -- the silver ball has a blue spot on the top, like so: 

and in addition we get the room where the baby goes full darth grogu (I have to laugh so I don’t cry okay) on those storm troopers, and there’s a red light in there dominating the room (and it did even more in the concept art):

in star wars blue means light side and red means dark side (it’s very sophisticated that way), meaning the visual storytelling here is that there’s a battle for the baby’s soul and gideon and all his nonsense (and the trauma bb’s been through in the wider sense) is pulling towards the dark, while grogu and din’s connection leads him towards the light. just... the image of the baby looking at his own reflection in the symbolic representation of his relationship to din? the way children find their sense of self through being safely reflected and held by their caretakers? god help meeeeeee I will go in there and fistfight gideon myself for disrupting that in any way  

the smaller light seems to be blue too, like there’s still the presence of light even if it’s dimmed and small in that shitty horrible room, which is a change from the concept art!

- FENNEC SHAND SURVIVED BITCHES!!! I even called that she’d be back with new shiny robot parts back in season 1, could not happen to a cooler lady, I hope we get more backstory and interaction from her the next episodes -- sounds like she’s basically sworn herself to boba’s service in gratitude for saving her life, I wonder if that’s a cultural thing of whereever she comes from? does she live aboard slave 1 now too?? because that would be hilarious and amazing, it must be like two strange cats trying to get used to sharing the same space   

- everything I could ever hope for about boba fett in this series came true, they went down the much more interesting and nuanced route with jango and boba’s identities as mandalorians, he looked cool as fuck and made din as a character shine rather than overshadowing him... amazing beautiful yesss 

(I did 100% not anticipate just how ‘cool uncle boba here to help you fuck shit up’ he was going to be but I am delighted to get it anyway. uncle points deducted for getting someone to point a gun at the baby, but the main point still stands lol) 

the power and brutality of his hand to hand fighting too... a w e s o m e , I enjoyed the action scenes a lot in this one

- they even recanonized him actually wearing jango’s armour. what more could I ask for. I’ve had confused parent & child feels about these two since I was like eleven and here we fucking go again. and jango fighting in the mando civil wars too!

- so I’m grieving the razor crest (and I always will be, rip you magnificent jalopy, always in my heart) but also there’s the grim satisfaction that my reading on it was sort of true -- it is (...was. oh god it’s going to take a while to sink in huh) a symbol of din’s self and life, and at this point when they take the baby it tears everything else to pieces. the only thing that’s left in the ashes is the beskar and the thing that connects him to the baby. and there’s... a strange solace in seeing that that’s all he needs to keep going? he’s fucking obliterated from orbit but he still has his love for the baby and the beskar and that can keep him going until he finds something new, everything else can be replaced?????? weirdly healing, though he is probably going to have a solid breakdown at some point after they get the kid back (shut up they are getting the kid back) and the cold distant fog lifts 

also this scene/shot feels like it carries some Meaning, doesn’t it? I’m on record several times saying I never want din to be mand’alor and that’s still true, but there’s something about the framing of this and the way boba looks at him that’s like... hm. I’m not sure I have the words for it. there’s something heightened about it, anyway, for a moment he looks like something mythic there in the wreckage 

(something I would be much cooler with is our clan of two growing a little bit and those new people rallying behind him, actually, that might be neat. imagine if a force user does show up for the baby and gets adopted into the clan somehow??? so many possibilities.) 

- from the way he picks up the silver ball... din djarin is on his way to straight up murder some people huh

I think part of what reassures me about this scene is the music -- this mando flute is not distant, is not beaten, is not despondent, it’s clear and determined and strong.

- 

I love this. I love when we get explicit baby POVs, it makes it feel so real and intimate and... like home. (I especially loved baby’s point of view inside the razor crest, which just made me tear up again. baby lost the closest thing he’s had to a home in a long long time on top of it all. everything is suffering)

-

Emotionally Significant Thumb Grabbing tm; the show

- din djarin looking for the ‘on’ switch on a magic rock fhsdakjfhsadlfhsdjah I can’t breathe

 “Well, this is the seeing stone. Are you. Seeing anything?” fsafkdsajhfsa sdhfksjalhfkjsdahfkjsdhf

- the energy around the baby as he’s, in ahsoka’s words, ‘choosing his path’ is blue, and the force sort of works across time and space, right?? so there’s definitely still hope for our lil green bean to not have to come up with a really dumb unsubtle sith name for himself, as is regrettably yet delightfully tradition. darth babbu should never come to pass (I do like how they’re interrogating the normal dark/light side dichotomy in this series, seeing as this is a literal baby who can’t really be responsible for that stuff himself yet and has such capacity for both.)  

- listen. listen, the way din says ‘can you please hurry up’ with no sarcasm or real impatience whatsoever, more like a harried worry, to his force-meditating son as he jogs off to make sure no one’s trying to kill them. is hilarious and also YES this is what the character is!!! weirdly and incongruously polite under stress sometimes and with a slightly odd reaction pattern to things!!! he’s not just quiet and badass, he’s a little strange sometimes and it’s so good!  

- a friendly opening volley warning shot from boba there

also din uncertainly asking BOBA FETT if he’s a jedi... now this is the dramatic irony I’ve been looking for haha 

I guess neither shand nor boba actually know din’s name after this either. baby you gotta start introducing yourself at some point it gets real confusing when there are two mandos on screen 

oh the long weary sigh going through din’s frame when boba says he wants ‘the armour’ and he thinks it’s just someone trying to peel the beskar off his corpse again. sorry the galaxy’s so shitty dad   

- “But fate sometimes steps in to rescue the wretched” is a killer line well done mr favreau. I like that boba actually offers din a good deal as well and seems to intend to deliver on it from how things are going. 

- din using his beskar-covered bod to cover someone he’s fighting alongside!!! literal moving cover haha. also I love fennec’s costume design  

- I don’t know where din got more whistling birds from and I don’t care, it was really cool haha 

-

wow haha um so anyway -- 

(cue all the ‘who wore it better’ with cobb vanth’s ‘spiderman’s first home made costume’ look on one side and ABSOLUTE UNIT DADDY boba fett on the other side posts lol)

- aaaghh the music almost like a stunned desperate fluttering heart beat as din watches the razor crest be destroyed 

- for someone who has willingly worked for them in the past boba sure sounds less than thrilled about having the empire back in any capacity 

- oof the deadness in din’s voice when he says “The child is gone”. ooooh no that got me  h e l p 

- guessing next episode is at least partly a ‘gathering old allies and preparing the assault’ step before the grand finale, then! they cannot go for the season ender cliffhanger with this, I will fucking riot. anything can be up in the air except baby and dad being separated, I will not allow it

it would be very funny if the force user baby called out to comes stumbling into the middle of all this like the troy entering the room with pizzas meme too 

- the music in the darth grogu scene is partially a dark mirror of the baby & mando music :’( is nothing in this world sacred

also from how he reaches out for it baby might have used a light saber before in the past with the jedi? ngl the idea of baby wielding the dark saber not when he’s all grown up but in like two episodes -- with all the chaos a toddler holding a laser sword would involve -- is all that is keeping me sane here 

‘liable to put an eye out with one of these’ well gideon you sure have doomed someone to lose an eye with that one, here’s to hoping it’s you, for full dramatic payoff 

he is a deliciously smug awful force with great musical cues tho, you have to give it to him

- okay so this

is obviously awful and horrible and it makes me so sad... but it is undeniably also very very very funny in how it’s framed. you know what? after all this bullshit baby grogu can have a little dark side tantrum, as a treat, we’ve all been there right

(forget finding a jedi, we need to go out there and find a child psychologist who can help him deal with this without adding the fear that he’s on the path to become a two foot tall evil space sorcerer to the mix Y_________Y) 

- rip the razor crest except for the second time :’’’( gone but never forgotten

- the last thing din tells the baby is “I’m gonna protect you; I’ll be back soon”. and I hope that stays with the kid somehow and that it actually comes true, that din will be back for him as soon as humanly possible and all this pain and fear can be repaired. ggggghhhhh my emotions are too big for my dumb human body 

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian meta #okay I'm gonna have to. go take a calming walk or something after this haha

[cotncandyboifics]

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?

AO3 Link

My Main Masterpost

Pairing(s): Romantic Dukexiety

Word count: 6.9k (Remus would be proud)

Story summary: A pseudo-songfic; 5 times Remus called Virgil high, and one time Virgil called Remus high.

Content Warning: Marijuana, Characters high on Marijuana, Description of the experience of being high on marijuana, Food, descriptions of eating, descriptions of preparing food, vague anxiety descriptions, insomnia, cursing, Remus Being Remus,(let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: this is just. dorky fluff stuff. Idek lol. Enjoy

...

Virgil grimaced vaguely at his phone, which had begun to buzz periodically. More specifically; Virgil was glaring at the displayed name at the top of the screen, communicating who was currently calling him.

TrashMan 42069 is calling...

Remus never called Virgil. As in... never never. And even if he did, it was 7 am; Virgil sincerely doubted that Remus I-wake-up-at-2-pm-every-day Prince had ever been awake at this time of morning in his life.

The call didn't stop after 5 buzzes, and so Virgil picked his phone up, hurriedly accepting the call and pressing the phone to his face.

"uuum, hiiii...." Remus drawled from the other end of the line. Virgil scoffed under his breath. "I'll have a.... extra large cheese pizza, and another extra large with... extra anchovies...." Remus continued. Virgil genuinely couldn't tell whether Remus thought he was actually talking to a Pizza parlor employee or not, but more pertinently, he was very much disconcerted by the way Remus was acting. He had half a mind to ask if he'd hit his head on something, but... Virgil was gradually growing used to Remus' antics, and every time he'd asked out of his own anxieties in the past, Remus had been More Than Fine. He pushed his nerviness aside with a heavy sigh.

"Re, what are you doing?" his voice came out a bit husky, and Virgil realized this was the first time he'd spoken that day.

Remus didn't reply for a few long moments. Of course, this had exactly nothing to do with the fact that he was having a gay panic over the sound of Virgil's morning voice, which - again - was decidedly not happening.

"Haay Virge," Remus scarcely strung his words together, and they fell on top of each other as they rolled off his tongue in a quite klutzy fashion. It was almost soothing, in its way. "I thought if I pretended that you... that I was... that I thought you were a pizza man, then I'd forget to do... why I called you." Remus scrunched his nose to himself, taking his time to find his words, but eventually he got there. Virgil had been struck with realization part way through Remus' rambling, and was now scowling as if Remus could hear his facial expression through the phone.

"Remus, are you seriously high right now?" Virgil hissed.

"I mean... I think so... I definitely remember..." he pointedly enunciated each syllable of 'definitely remember,' before seemingly getting distracted by his thoughts. Virgil cleared his throat to prompt him. "...uhhhh... I don't wanna call you. Why did I... think that was...good." Virgil couldn't tell if Remus was talking to himself or not.

"Dude, go take a shower and... like, drink some water or something. I'll see you at work later. Please come in a better mental state than you're in now." Virgil hung up, setting his phone back down on his desk face-down, resuming his script read-through of the next production being put on at the theater he worked for.

Several hours later, Virgil was adjusting a few bolts on a light fixture, one of many all lined up on the long bar that he'd lowered from the fly deck earlier. He and Remus were stage technicians, and had both worked at this theater together for nearly two years now.

Remus burst through the set of doors off stage left, arms wide and his custom green tool belt slung over one shoulder like a sash. He bowed a bit dramatically to the stage and everyone on it (which, at the moment, was only Virgil; they were the only two in the theater, since Virgil regularly showed up early and Remus was here early too for once for... some reason) before stepping in long strides toward a burnt out light fixture, a few feet away from Virgil.

"You good?" Virgil murmured, feigning intense focus on a particular few wires. Remus had learned by now that Virgil was a man of few words and many thoughts; there was always a lot more to what he was saying than the small string of words he poured out.

"Heh. Sorry about that. I woke up in a funk, and though a wake and bake might... help. Didn't anticipate calling... you, though." he rubbed the back of his neck a bit sheepishly, focusing his line of sight on the company logo branded into the lighting fixture. "Can't say it won't happen again though! If I call you when I'm that stoned it means I really, really like you," Remus waggled his eyebrows, winking (specifically to highlight his sarcasm - a wink was a telltale sign that Remus' words were entirely a joke) at an utterly deadpan Virgil.

"Sure." Virgil paused for a moment. "Why're you here so early though?"

"Huh?" Remus replied, finishing twisting the bulb out of the fixture before looking up at Virgil, who was now presenting his phone screen to Remus, showing him the time. "Damn! High me can get punctuality! I thought it was three, not  two... I was wondering why you were the only one here!" Remus had resumed his adjusting of the light fixture, hunkered over and partially upside down in a way that made Virgil's stomach churn. He only grunted in reply.

...

A recent sound design project had Virgil and Remus talking a lot more than usual - nearly every day. Virgil thought Remus would be a massive pain in the ass to work with, but he was a surprisingly diligent project partner. His ideas were often... eccentric, and at times too far-fetched, but they served as an excellent foundation. They clashed well with Virgil's taste and general groundedness (by extension, a minuscule helping of insecurity) that he brought to the table. They'd worked together over discord for the last few days, voice chatting and messaging through brainstorming sessions and developing their project.

It was 5pm, and Virgil was just beginning chopping some potatoes for a mash dinner when a message notification popped up on his phone.

TrashMan 42069 im tiiiired. gotta get up early to head into the theater, can we work tmrw mornin instead of tn ? wanna have an early night

Virgil smirked to himself, typing out a response.

since when do you sleep before 1am

but like, go off ig

see ya in the ams

Remus never responded, and Virgil resumed his chopping, and soon was plopping the potato portions into a pre-simmering pot.

Night arrived and fell entirely, leaving Virgil alone with his thoughts in bed, staring at the ceiling desperately as if it would put him to sleep. His bouts of insomnia made for horrible company, and yet another reminder of just how awfully lonely he truly was. He rolled onto his side, facing his bedside table just as his phone lit up and started buzzing.

Remus. Again. Odd. And it was... 11pm, according to the bleary text in the top corner of Virgil's phone screen. Not too bad, I might get to sleep by 2, Virgil noted to himself. He accepted the call before his drowsy brain could think through the decision.

"Shit, hi," Remus breathed. The usual sharp edge of his brash voice was gone, leaving soft, rolling words in its wake. Virgil sighed to himself.

"Hi."

"Did I awaken you from the sleep? I didn't think you'd answer..." Virgil recognized the drawl in Remus' voice then, but he didn't mind it so much. He was too tired to be grumpy about this.

"No, I couldn't sleep. I thought you were having an early night?" Virgil ran his fingers through his hair, rolling back onto his back.

"Ah... right... I told you that..." Remus spoke slowly, as if carrying each word, each syllable the way a mother carries her child. Virgil smiled softly into the darkness. "I was feeling like shit, so... I was just gonna, toke up. Knew I... wouldn't be able to... do any of the project... like this."

"Gotcha," Virgil mumbled. He had closed his eyes, letting himself ease into the sound of Remus' uncharacteristically gentle voice.

Remus started humming on the other end of the line, and that only proved to relax Virgil more. He felt himself grow heavy in the bed, limbs going slack and muscles and tendons untensing.

"Are you still alive?" Remus spoke suddenly. Virgil hummed.

"Yeah, I think so," Virgil said. "Your humming is putting me to sleep," he laughed lightly. Remus grew silent. "Uh, that's not a bad thing," Virgil resolved, "I have a hard time... sleeping, sometimes. Nothing usually helps. That's... uh, helping. If you wanna keep... humming, or talking..." As he spoke, Virgil realized just how weird what he was saying - what he was asking for - truly was. He cleared his throat. "Nevermind."

"I have nothing better to do right now, I can hum you to sleep, Virge," Remus' careful voice replied, ever so slowly. "If that's... what... you meant."

"Um," Virgil chewed on his hoodie sleeve absent-mindedly. "Yeah," he finally huffed, "I'd... like that."

Virgil anticipated a lot more awkwardness at this entire situation from Remus. But Remus was a generally oblivious person to awkwardness, seemingly especially so when he was stoned. He almost immediately resumed his humming, and Virgil was out like a light less than ten minutes later.

"Virgie? Did you go... fall into the sleep?" Remus asked after a while. When he was met with silence other than subtle, even breaths, he smiled to himself. He'd helped someone, even while he was like this. He truly didn't want to be doing anything else right now, so he just kept humming into the phone for a while. Maybe it'll help Virgil sleep even better.

The thoughts that an intoxicated mind produces truly are an enigma.

...

Remus and Virgil's sound design project was one of three being proposed to the directors and head technicians for the next production. The three were created as presentations, just the general idea of the design put together so that the one chosen of the three could be put into proper production by the entire sound team.

Virgil's and Remus' won.

They celebrated by indulging in a pizza lunch together before they were to head into work. A large, half pepperoni and half anchovies.

"Are those things actually good, or do you just eat them because everyone else thinks they're gross?" Virgil asked, chasing the floppy end of his next slice with his mouth. Remus grinned with a glint in his eye that Virgil knew all too well; it meant one thing, and one thing only. Mischief.

"Whah if ih's bof?" Remus spoke through his mouthful of anchovy pizza. Virgil scrunched his nose, punching Remus in the shoulder.

"Chew your food and don't talk with your mouth full, that's hecka nasty dude," Virgil laughed. Remus rolled his eyes in a very unconvincing manner, considering he was still smiling.

"Yef, mom," Remus spoke again through his unfinished mouthful. Virgil shoulder bumped him, and finally took the first bite of his next slice.

Not a week later, Virgil woke up rather late. Well, late for him; around 7am. He slapped a hand to his forehead, sitting up a little too fast. He set his hands on the bed beside himself to try and fight the onset of dizziness. After a few deep breaths and shaking his head and hair out, he reached for his phone.

No notifications, other than 2 missed calls from Remus, at 3:12am. Virgil sighed, laughing to himself slightly. He opened his messaging app.

why do u only call me when ur high lmao

...

Virgil was at the grocery store, milling through the dairy aisle, when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He was surprised to see Remus' contact as the displayed caller ID, although not that surprised. Remus had called Virgil a few times while he wasn't high since Virgil had sent that message, usually to discuss theater-related things. Though, it wasn't like him to call at 8 in the morning. Virgil pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey Re, what's up?" Virgil said as he started checking the expiration dates on a few cartons of heavy whipping cream.

"Virgieee... Are you walking around with no shoes on?" Remus' voice was calm and subdued.

"Uh-" Virgil was so caught off guard by the question -and the petname- that he literally looked down at his feet to check. Nope, he'd definitely put on his black high tops that morning. "No? I'm at the grocery store. Wh... what?"

"I saw someone," Remus blurted, speaking slowly. Oh, right. Virgil's lips tightened into a annoyed-and-disappointed expression. Of course he's just baked again. "They looked like you, kinda... no purple hair... but jacket- or, i mean, sweater... uhhhm, no... what's it called?"

"My hoodie?" Virgil offered, glancing down at his purple patchwork hoodie.

"Yeah, yeah, that," Remus drew in a long heavy breath. "they had a hoodie." Remus stopped then, as if awaiting Virgil's explanation expectantly. Virgil scoffed.

"So. You saw someone walking around with no shoes on, who looked kind of like me only based on the fact that they were wearing a hoodie?" Virgil recited.

"Well, yeah!" Remus said as if offended that Virgil needed to ask. "They were black shoes, and... and the hoodie was... just like your black plaid one."

"The one that I like... never wear? How do you even... have you even seen me wear that?" Virgil didn't know why he was asking; he must have if he knew of it.

"You did," Remus started slowly, "one time. The pizza time. Said your other one was dirty." Remus spoke like a small child who was being scolded and felt really bad for what they'd done. "And I thought... maybe you'd... dyed your hair back. I don't know why." Virgil sighed.

"Okay? Well, I promise I have my shoes on, and my hair is still purple, and I'm not wearing that hoodie today. I'm at the grocery store right now." Virgil's voice was harsh and quick, and he immediately felt guilt drop into his stomach like a brick. He had no real reason to be this cross with Remus... he was just a bit cranky that morning. "Can I... pick you up anything while I'm here?" Virgil immediately cringed at his attempt at amendment. What a weird thing to say-

"Ooh! Are you at Trader Joe's?" Remus' voice had a newfound excitement. Virgil smiled to himself, glad that his fumbled recovery wasn't really very fumbled, thanks to Remus'... Remus-y-ness. "They have these chocolate truffles that are soooo good..."

Remus gave moderately incoherent directions to where the truffles were shelved, though Virgil knew his way around the store enough that it didn't matter. After a few minutes, he came upon a small red carboard box with cursive gold lettering and a picture of a chocolate truffle on the front.

"Found them. I... text me your address? I can be over in... well, soon. I guess I don't know where you live." Virgil invited himself over extremely awkwardly.

"You got it, sunshine! See you soon," Remus' tone was a lot lighter and he spoke more quickly and sharply, as he did when he wasn't stoned out of his mind. Perhaps the prospect of having his favorite chocolate truffles had granted him some mental clarity.

The call ended, and moments later, two texts came through from Remus. The first was an address, as promised. The second left Virgil with a familiar sense of blind confusion.

ill start heating the milk

Virgil slid his phone back into his pocket, humming to himself. He'd gotten all the items on his grocery list already, so he headed to checkout. Soon after, he was loading a couple bags into the back seat of his car, setting the two boxes of truffles for Remus on the passenger seat as he strapped in.

The drive was surprisingly short to Remus'; less than ten minutes. He triple checked the address when he pulled up to a three story Victorian house, three doors lined up at the top of a set of marble steps.

He took a breath or two, staring down at the boxes of truffles in his hands and reassessing his situation. You're standing in front of Remus' house like a massive dork because you felt bad for getting annoyed at him on the phone. You decided completely on a whim to bring him some chocolate - of all things, but at least he's the one who specifically asked for it - and show up to his house???? his house. Yeah, this totally isn't weird at all.

Virgil took the steps two at a time, ringing the doorbell at the door farthest to the right. He heard the chime from inside, followed shortly by a shrill screech. A few moments later, there was stomping sounds, and Remus came into view through the window on the door, trampling down the stairs like an eight year old rushing to an ice cream truck. He made it to the door, unlocking it and flinging it open.

"VIRGIE!" Remus yelped, looking ready to bear hug Virgil, but was quickly distracted into marveling over the boxes of truffles Virgil was clinging to his chest. "You bought two!? Gods, this is better than Christmas! Get in here," Remus stepped behind the door, allowing Virgil to step inside.

"Did you... screech, a minute ago?" Virgil asked, looking around. He and Remus were standing in what served as a tiny, tiny foyer, a small rectangle of flooring that gave direct way to a rather large flight of wooden stairs. Virgil could see a shoe cubby and coat rack at the top of the steps, and started stepping up them cautiously as Remus closed the door behind him.

"Yeah. People usually can't hear if I say words, like 'COMING!', so I just kinda... scream. It works!" Remus was tromping up the steps a few stairs below him, and Virgil quickened his pace.

"Got it..."

Virgil slipped his shoes off at the top, stuffing them in the cubby. "See? Shoes," he gestured to the shoes now fit snug in one of the cubbies. Remus smiled a bit too wide, nodding his head harshly. "I also don't have that hoodie on today," Virgil spread his arms, displaying his usual patchwork hoodie.

"I'm mainly glad your hair is still purple. It looks h- I mean, I like it." Remus coughed slightly to himself before stepping around Virgil, starting to sock-slide down the hardwood floor hall. "Kitchen's through here! The milk should be ready!"

Virgil laughed to himself, stepping into the hall to follow Remus' trail. He came upon a slightly ajar door, and seeing a glimpse of a stovetop, he slid into the room.

"I also made some whipped cream!" Remus gestured behind himself at a bowl of whipped cream on the counter as he stirred at a simmering pot of milk.

"What's... what's it for?" Virgil asked slowly, feeling like he missed something entirely.

"Oh! Right," Remus seemed to realize he hadn't filled Virgil in. "The truffles are so frickin good by themselves, but I discovered - sort of by accident, don't worry about it - that they make the best hot chocolate. And I... well, I figured we could have some!" Remus spun around at the last part, saucer of milk in hand and smiling a bit maniacally at Virgil. He stepped over to the counter where there were two mugs beside the bowl of whipped cream. "Bring them things on over here. This show can't go on without the starring role."

Virgil shuffled over to Remus, setting the truffles down beside the whipped cream bowls. He felt the need to speak, but couldn't think of any suitable words.

"one or two? I usually do two, I like mine real rich," Remus said, tearing open one of the boxes of truffles.

"Two," Virgil coughed. Remus smiled brightly at him again.

Virgil observed Remus' process. He plopped two truffles into the bottom of each mug - in the process, popping one into his mouth and offering another to Virgil, who accepted - before pouring the steaming milk over them, nearly to the brim of both mugs. Virgil hadn't expected the truffles to float, but there were two bobbing brown balls rolling around on the surface of the steaming milk in each mug. Remus retrieved a small spoon, stirring gingerly as the truffles rapidly shrunk and dissipated into the darkening milk.

"Will you grab the chocolate syrup? It's in the door of the fridge," Remus commented, beginning to spoon whipped cream onto the surface of the hot chocolate. "Oh, and- nevermind, I got it." Remus reached into a drawer beside him, pulling out a small cheese grater.

Virgil returned with the chocolate syrup, setting it beside Remus' arm.

"Check this out," Remus said, pulling another truffle from the box. He started grating it over the whipped cream dollops, and it gently snowed chocolate shavings. "Isn't it pretty?" Remus glanced at Virgil as he switched mugs.

"Yeah," Virgil breathed, watching the little flakes fall and settle on the surface of the whipped cream.

Virgil felt himself becoming infinitely more relaxed and less anxious the longer he basked in Remus' presence. It had always been this way with him, although maybe it was slightly amplified now that they were alone. He leaned himself on Remus, chin on his shoulder. Remus didn't react, other than softening his movements significantly, as though he were afraid he'd scare Virgil away.

"Yes, yes, yes! Man, this is the good stuff!" Remus exclaimed as he squirted a trail of chocolate syrup over the flakey rain on the whipped cream mountains. Virgil chuckled, reaching for the mug nearest him. "Hey! Not yet!" Remus batted his hand away lightly.

"What else could you possibly want on hot chocolate? Come on, it's getting cold," Virgil whined. Remus only smirked.

"Pantry, top shelf, you'll know it when you see it," He spoke, glancing at the cupboard door a few paces away. Virgil stepped toward the pantry cautiously, opening the door slowly. There, presented proudly on the top shelf, was a bag of mini marshmallows.

"Oh fuck yeah," Virgil reached up, realizing he was far too short to reach the bag. "Uh, one sec," he said, stepping entirely into the pantry, reaching up with all his might. Even stretching as far as he could, he barely reached the base of the top shelf.  Remus chuckled from over by the mugs.

"Here, let me help." Remus came up behind him, making to reach over Virgil's head just as Virgil tried to step out of the pantry and out of Remus' way. Virgil essentially walked right into Remus' chest, face to face with his stubbled Adam's apple as he reached for the mallows easily.

Virgil was frozen in place, feeling his face grow hot. Remus looked down at him, suddenly realizing their physical predicament.

"Shit! Sorry!" Remus stepped back, mallows in hand, giving Virgil more than enough room to step out.

"s'fine, don't worry," Virgil mumbled, cheeks red and staring wide-eyed at the floor. Remus laughed a bit nervously, stepping back over to the mugs and beckoning for Virgil to follow.

Once their mugs were properly marshmallow'd (although not s'more'd; neither wanted to go full Ned Flanders on this rainy Saturday afternoon) Remus led Virgil out of the kitchen and further down the hall, to the door at the end which opened up into Remus' bedroom.

Virgil didn't know what he was expecting Remus' personal living space to look like, but whatever it was it wasn't this. There was a very cozy-looking bed that took up most of the floorspace, and a very soft patterned rug at the foot. Against the far wall, beside a wide windowsill, sat an equally cozy-looking loveseat. There were blankets and pillows absolutely everywhere, crowding the loveseat, covering the bed and turning the windowsill into a cozy sitting nook. There was no other furniture, aside from a rustic-looking wooden bedside table that matched a small, overstuffed bookshelf. The walls were entirely covered from floor to  ceiling with posters, art pieces, the like; but more than anything, sketches. Scores upon scores of sketches covered every wall, pinned up with colorful tacks and a certain few of them connected to others with  small segments of colored string. As well, strung up on some of the hardier tacks were a few strings of fairy lights. Those, plus the salt lamp set on the bedside table made for some extremely lovely mood lighting.

"Woah," was all Virgil could say as he looked around in wonder.

"This is where the magic happens," Remus shoulder shimmied, sidling around Virgil to sit cross-legged on his bed, beginning to nurse his cocoa as he set down the boxes of truffles. Apparently they were far too precious to keep in the kitchen, where Remus' brother could very well steal them.

"Yeah..." Virgil stepped up to a particularly large sketch, one whose tack was connected with string to several others. Something occurred to him. "Are these..." He gestured vaguely at the walls, "are these all yours?"

"All the sketches, yeah," Remus breathed, hiding behind his mug as he took a large sip. He watched Virgil over the brim as the man stared in complete awe.

"That's..." Virgil couldn't think of the right words, and so drew a large sip of his own cocoa. Remus was right, the truffles made for an incredible hot chocolate. He sighed slightly, smiling to himself.

Remus finished his cocoa, tilting his head back to slurp at the residue and remaining whipped cream as he leaned back on his bed slightly. Virgil smirked behind his own mug, licking at his whipped cream.

Remus set his mug beside the salt lamp on his bedside table, beckoning for Virgil to sit with him on the bed. Virgil did, cross-legged an leaning against a pillow that was propped against the wall. He glanced to the windowsill nook.

"You got something of a view," He murmured, craning his neck slightly to see out the window. Remus giggled.

"Yeah! That's where I saw mx. no-shoes earlier." He smiled at Virgil giddily.

"Oh, I see." Virgil smiled back. "Well, I'm here now, purple hair and truffles in the complete package," he spread his arms slightly, and Remus' smile turned into a full grin. He retrieved a truffle from the open box and popped it into his mouth, then throwing a second one at Virgil. It hit him in the chest, and he picked it up, starting to gnaw at it. "You were right, these are super fricking good," Virgil mentioned, taking another large gulp of his cocoa.

"I know right!? Where have you been all my life, beloved truffles," he picked up the unopened box and held it high in one hand, beginning to serenade it. Virgil laughed at him, slapping him on the arm.

"You're a massive dork."

Remus' eyes glinted. "Well I-" He stopped short, the glint disappearing as soon as it returned. Virgil watched his face. No, no dick jokes right now. He gulped and cleared his throat, retracting his arm and pulling out another two truffles from the other box. He held one of them out to Virgil on the palm of his hand. Virgil took it carefully, holding it between his fingers as he took the final sip of his own cocoa.

"Here," Remus reached his empty hand out to take Virgil's mug, setting it beside his own behind them on the bedside table. Remus resumed chewing his truffle, watching the comforter shift with his weight as he leaned back and forth slightly.

"Can I?" Virgil pointed to a few more sketches over the head of the bed. Remus nodded. Virgil got up onto his knees, nearly pressing his chest into the wall as he looked at the many sketches.

Remus got up onto his knees too, sort of knee-waddling over to Virgil's side. Virgil's eyes continued scanning the sketches before they fell onto a particularly familiar looking one. His breath caught in his chest. He reached up to it, tracing the familiar purple plaid of his very own patchwork hoodie. Remus cleared his throat from beside him.

They both spoke at the same time.

"Um, you should probably know that-"

"Remus, I wanted to tell you-"

Virgil turned to look at Remus then, and belatedly realized just how close together they were. Remus' lips were pursed, and Virgil could see that he was chewing at the inside corner of his mouth.

Virgil drew in a breath to speak as Remus moved slightly closer. Pursing his lips shut, he changed his mind, deciding to take a risk.

He surged forward suddenly, shutting his eyes. Remus met him in the middle, and just like that, they were kissing.

It was soft and still at first, lips pressed firmly into each other's. Remus reached one hand up, gently cupping Virgil's cheek.

Virgil pulled back suddenly, but Remus' hand didn't leave his cheek. "I-I'm sorry, I really should've- asked- I meant to say things, i mean, before-" He stopped as Remus set his other hand on Virgil's waist. His face looked incredibly soft and gentle, lips parted slightly as he looked at Virgil like he'd hung the moon.

Virgil intertwined his fingers on the back of Remus' neck, and Remus pulled Virgil back into the kiss.

...

two days later, Virgil was up late again, unable to push himself into unconsciousness. His body was restless even if his mind was exhausted - or perhaps it was the other way around, his mind restless and his body exhausted? He really couldn't tell.

It was nearing 3am, and he was sitting curled in on himself, hugging his knees as he watched the stars out his window. His phone, face-down on the bed beside him, began buzzing.

He tilted his head, sighing as he fought an oncoming wave of exhaustion. He picked up the phone, flipping it to see the caller ID, although part of him hoped knew who it would be.

He pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Remus."

He heard Remus gasp on the other end of the line, before murmuring a small "hi."

"I... are you not sleeping good tonight?" Remus' curious and confounded expression was almost palpable through the phone. Virgil smiled lazily, recognizing Remus' demeanor immediately.

"No, I'm not, but that's okay. The stars are pretty tonight." Virgil paused, scratching at his chin a bit. "Are you stoned again?"

A long pause. "Yeah," Remus blurted. "Sorry I... I nodded, but then, I realized... you can't see me."

Virgil smiled to himself again. "It's okay."

A long, comfortable silence followed. Virgil was too tired to feel the obligatory need to make conversation, especially with Remus. He'd be a fool to expect any awkwardness after a make out session with the spontaneous blob that is Remus, but he'd still been nervous to see or speak with him again. That all melted away now though, exhaustion and vague contentment taking its place.

"Virgie - uh, Virgil?" Remus piped up after a while, rousing Virgil from his trance.

"Yeah?"

"Do you, remember..." Remus trailed off, and didn't speak for long enough that Virgil almost responded to prompt him. "Did you come to my house, and also, kiss me, or was that a dream?" Even through his stoned lilt, Remus spoke a bit quickly, like he was trying to shove the words out of his mouth before he could change his mind.

Virgil chuckled. "That wasn't a dream, Remus. Yes, I remember." I don't think I could forget it if i wanted to tried.

"Oh." Virgil could hear the smile in Remus' voice. "Can we- I mean, do you want to, uh, do it again? Some time?" he didn't sound hesitant, no; just hopeful, and perhaps as though he felt like he needed to be excessively gentle. It was the sweetest tone Virgil had ever heard.

"I'd like that," Virgil smiled.

Remus sigh-laughed on the other end of the line, and Virgil's smile grew. "Cool," Remus said almost under his breath.

Virgil didn't do it consciously, but a big, loud yawn decided to worm its way out of him at that moment.

"Are you sleepy Virgie?" Remus asked in a strange partial baby voice. Virgil snorted at him.

"I'm literally always tired, so if the answer was no, that would be more concerning," Virgil quipped, but his voice sounded spent. Remus giggled a little.

"Can I hum to you?" Remus asked, smile still discernable in his tone. Virgil felt something warm spark in his chest, like a lighter being flicked and lit.

"I'd like that a lot, too," Virgil murmured, curling up beneath his covers as Remus started to hum.

He was out like a light in less than 5 minutes.

And if Remus stayed on the line for another half hour or so, humming to him and listening to his even breaths, who was to know?

...

Virgil felt like an idiot.

That wasn't an entirely rare feeling to him, but this particular time was different.

Despite his general edginess and rebel-against-society vibe, Virgil had never touched a drop of alcohol or gone near any intoxicating substance in his life. Until today.

He'd been Remus' boyfriend for almost three months now, and it was everything he could have hoped; haphazard night trips to convenience stores that ended in oddly romantic motorcycle rides, the odd gestures Remus's... eccentric mind came up with, and Virgil was in dire need of more hoodies he could let Remus steal. All this, but Virgil was still Virgil. He still had his anxiety disorder, he still dealt with insomnia. Though, sleeping in Remus' arms was proving an impressively effective remedy to the latter.

So, when Remus suggested Virgil look into the medical benefits of marijuana in regards to both anxiety and insomnia, Virgil was... intrigued, to say the least.

He did find a lot of supporting evidence through his research, and... well, he thought, what the hell, right? If Remus smokes it pretty much every day, and if this many articles are claiming its reliability... what harm would it do to try?

So here he was, sitting on his couch, having taken a couple of edibles, waiting for the high to hit him. His hand ghosted over his jean pocket, assuring himself that his phone was there in case he needed to call 911 or something. He was trying to do breathing exercises to maintain some sort of calm, but sitting still wasn't his strong suit.

He'd chosen edibles since he didn't want to have to deal with the whole... smoke and coughing side of things. And he really didn't like the sound of vaping. He figured this would be fine as an introductory experience, but he realized that he had no clue when the edibles would kick in.

He pulled out his phone, typing into google.

Marijuana edibles generally take 30 minutes to an hour to induce any psychological effects on the consumer.

Oh.

Well, he figured, there was no way he could sit still for that long.

He stood, deciding he'd make himself some dinner. Something to busy his hands with, and the leftovers he'd planned on heating up would last another day or two anyways.

He settled on some fettuccine alfredo, fairly simple but one of his childhood favorites. He had a feeling he'd appreciate the comfort food while he was... in an altered state of mind.

Virgil, however, hadn't accounted for the fact that he had an almost unnaturally high metabolism, and before he'd even gotten the pasta in the boiling water, things started to get a little funky.

The first thing Virgil noticed, before he'd even registered that the edibles were kicking in, was how he could hear his thoughts. Not literally, but it felt as though his stream-of-consciousness thoughts were more slow and clear to him, as though he was speaking directly to himself.

As he thought this, his vision suddenly came into alarming focus, and felt oddly like an unstable skyscraper. He stared down at his feet, and they seemed so far away, the floor looked far too far away... He gripped the counter nearest to him, trying to steady himself even if he wasn't actually falling. He didn't feel like he had any control over his center of balance, and even if he was mostly stock-still as a pencil, he thought he might fall down at any moment, down the many stories of building beneath him. But there was no stories beneath him... it was only his legs, which he didn't remember being so long. He stared a little harder at his feet. They weren't abnormally far away, were they?

Virgil vaguely registered the sound of over-boiling water as the realization hit him.

Oh. So this is what it's like.

He turned so that his lower back was stable against the counter, sliding slowly down onto his butt. Standing didn't feel safe right now, even if that made no sense.

He didn't really like this. He felt so isolated, so alone in this moment. He was too out of it to focus hard enough on those thoughts for them to really take root, but he was generally aware of them. So, he did the first thing he could think to do.

He pulled his phone very slowly and carefully out of his pocket, as if he thought it was a brittle sugar cookie. He stared at the dark screen for a solid minute, wondering why it wasn't turning on. Then he realized he had to actually touch the screen for that to happen, and so he did.

From there, it was relatively easy; he unlocked his phone, found the calling app, scrolled around a little haphazardly up and down the contact list before finding Remus' contact.

If anyone could help him feel less alone, if anyone knew what he was experiencing... it would be him.

He took a deep breath and held it as he pressed the call button, bringing the phone to his face as it rang.

It only rang twice before Remus answered. "Hello, Jack Skellington! What can I do for you this evening?" Remus' voice sounded a little extra mischievous, and Virgil couldn't even begin to place why.

He was quiet for a little too long, vaguely trying to decide what to say. "Hi." Not the most eloquent, but it worked for a start.

"Hi," Remus replied, the troublemaking lilt of his voice dissipating slightly. "Is everything okay, Surly Temple?"

Virgil giggled a bit. Your brother is funny. You keep stealing his nicknames for me. "I'm, yeah. Sorry, talking. it's hard. Right now." Virgil spoke haltingly, each word firm but isolated from the last.

"Hmmm..." Remus stroked his mustache from the other end of the line. Virgil giggled again, realizing he couldn't actually see Remus stroking his mustache, but could imagine it vividly all the same. There was no doubt in his mind that he was doing exactly that.

"Oh, 'm high," Virgil added quite belatedly.

"Oh! Well that makes a lot more sense!" Remus laughed, but quickly composed himself again. "What are you doing? Are you feeling okay? Is this your first time? What's happening?"

"Skyscraper," Virgil replied matter-of-factly, as if that cleared the air entirely.

"...right..." Remus replied slowly. "Stormcloud, is it okay if I come over? I don't... I want you to be- uh, to feel safe right now."

"Yes, please," Virgil clung to the phone like it was Remus' arm. "I miss you I'm kinda scared," his words slurred together, but at least he managed to say something slightly coherent. Remus grunted in acknowledgement.

"Okay. I'll be there in ten. Want me to stay on the line?" Virgil could hear shuffling around in the background.

"What're you doin?" He asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at the refrigerator door, since he couldn't actually look at Remus.

"Putting on my shoes, silly! What room are you in right now?" Remus replied, a sense of protectiveness twinged in his voice.

"Kitchen. floor." Virgil swirled his fingers on the wooden floor.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay- oh, fuck it. I'm staying on the line till I get there, okay Virgie?" Virgil heard the sound of a door slamming, followed by vague trafficky noises.

"You're coming," Virgil spoke, registering it in his mind finally.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Remus repeated, and the sound of Remus' car starting sounded shortly after.

Virgil smiled at nothing. "I love you."

The words were a bit slurred together, but he heard them out of his own mouth loud and clear. He almost clapped a hand over his mouth, a little horrified that he'd just said that.

Sure, he'd known he loved Remus for a while now, but they hadn't said it before. He'd almost said it, once, earlier that week while he was laying in Remus' arms on a drowsy Sunday morning, watching the lines of his face shift and harden as he slowly woke up. But he didn't. And now he'd just gone and said it, while he was stoned out of his mind for the first time, sitting on his kitchen floor about to break into tears-

Remus' voice, a little bit strained, interrupted Virgil's thoughts.

"I love you too."

A pause. "I'm almost there, okay? Everything's gonna be fine."

Virgil snuggled down further into his hoodie.

"I know, cus you'll be here."

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #sanders sides fanfiction #ts virgil #ts remus #human au #5 + 1 fic #5 + 1 things #songfic

[asthmark]

❝ comfortable ❞ l.mk

synopsis → “oh, i’m mark. mark lee.” he gives her a lop-sided grin, reminding you of a high school boy. the kind you would have a crush on.

word count → 3k

a/n → instead of admitting to the fact that this has been in my drafts since october what if i just said i was watching superm interviews and got inspired.. would anyone believe that??? anyway superm on the ellen show was a fever dream lol

your leg bounces nervously as your makeup artist touches up your look and you stare at the tv screen in anticipation. you were finally making your television debut. you knew you were blessed for the wonderful opportunity, especially for how new you were to the music industry.

you had started like nearly every other artist; posting covers on youtube. these were well received and gained a good amount of views and likes but your career really took off when you began creating original content. every time you would release a single, it would make it on the trending page thanks to your growing fanbase and exposure to the general public, who seemed to like you. soon enough, requests to interview you whether it be on radio, tv, or magazines were high and, thanks to your managers, you found yourself in los angeles, backstage in a studio, waiting for the ellen degeneres to introduce you to her live audience and thousands of viewers at home.

“don’t move so much, miss l/n,” the woman trying to apply your highlighter comments. “you’re smudging your makeup.”

you force yourself to sit still as you apologize. “sorry. pre-show jitters.”

the woman smiles, emphatically. “i understand, sweetheart. i would be nervous too.”

you’re quiet for a moment, debating if you should continue conversing with her. “can i be honest?”

she hums as she dabs a beauty blender into your cheek. “go ahead.��

“i am so nervous that i’ll mess up or say something stupid. the only thing close to an interview i’ve ever done was a q&a on my youtube channel. and at least i could edit stuff out then.” you huff. “if i make some kind of mistake on my tv debut, my career will be over before it even started.”

“well, think of it this way,” she says. “you went from a moderately popular youtube channel to the ellen show. that doesn’t happen for no reason. there are people out there who really admire you.”

you chuckle in disbelief. “it’s crazy to think about people actually wanting to see me. i still can't believe it.”

she giggles, softly. “they know there's something worth seeing.” at seeing your small smile, almost as if you were barely realizing your own star status, she laughs. “you seriously gotta wake up, girl. you’re famous!”

you smile at her, finding humor in her words. “thanks for the wake up call.”

you both direct your attention to the tv placed backstage that broadcasted what was happening on stage. you listen in to ellen’s monologue as she tells jokes and addresses current topics. before long, there’s a knock on the doorframe. you half expect a staff member to let you know that you’ll be on soon but instead you hear a quiet, “hello?”

you and your makeup artist both turn to the boy standing in the doorway. he's wearing a black jacket paired with dark, ripped jeans held up by a belt. he goes to bow, then remembers that korean etiquette does not apply and decides to wave as a greeting instead. you reciprocate the gesture. he stands with only one foot inside the room, almost as if he’s too polite to enter without being given the okay.

“did they send you to get your makeup done?” the woman who had done yours says.

he nods. “they said something about concealer and bb cream, i think?”

she smiles. “yeah, it’s basic stuff. come on in. what’s your name, dear?”

“oh, i’m mark. mark lee.” he gives her a lop-sided grin, reminding you of a high school boy. the kind you would have a crush on.

“well, mark lee, i’m lily. i’ll be doing your makeup, making sure you look pretty for the cameras.” she motions to you. “i'm just about done here so i’ll be right with you.”

“okay, thank you.” he shuffles in, his eyes glued to you and you hold his stare. he nods, a wordless greeting as he settles in next to you. in return, you throw up a peace sign and he smiles at your casual behavior.

“you know what? somebody used all the setting spray. i’ll be right back, i’m just going to steal some from my co-workers.” with that, lily darts out of the room.

it’s pure silence between the two of you until you spark conversation. “i didn't get to introduce myself but i'm y/n.”

“i know,” he responds, quickly. “i'm kind of a fan, actually. i mean, it’s practically impossible to not be. you’re all over the place. especially with the new single you dropped... which is a bop, by the way.”

you smile at his simply-worded praise. it was a nice switch up from the professional reviews you received from critics. “that’s so cute. i’m honored.” you miss the way mark’s ears turn slightly pink at your words. “but enough about me, what do you do, mark?”

“oh, me? i’m in the k-pop scene.”

you hum. “that’s a good genre to be in. which group?”

“right now i’m promoting with superm, it’s kind of like a side project. but originally, i’m in a band called nct.”

you lean forward at hearing the familiar name. “nct? as in, nct 127?”

mark’s eyes light up. “yeah! you know us?”

you nod, enthusiastically. “oh my god, yes! you collabed with ava, right?”

“we sure did. are you guys close?”

“i help her write lyrics sometimes.” you lower your voice down to a whisper for dramatic effect. “i wrote the chorus to ‘sweet but psycho’.”

the way mark’s jaw drops is almost comedic. “no way! that song got her famous, dude!” his lips curve into a playful smirk. “just because of that i’m gonna have to get you in the studio.”

you return the mischievous look. “is that a promise?”

“i’m back!” lily announces, giving mark no time to respond. she gives no warning as she spritzs you with the bottle she had gone to retrieve.

you cough, choking on the mist. “no heads up?”

“sorry, dear. you’re on in two minutes, no time to waste.”

you feel a chill go up your spine. it was finally time.

mark nudges your arm. “you okay?”

“a little nervous.” that proves to be the biggest understatement of all time because in reality your heart is doing somersaults.

“hey.” you stare at him, his brown eyes boring into you. “you’ll be fine. there’s nothing to worry about. you got this!”

you smile at his words of encouragement. he cared about you and you find that your heart is pounding for an entirely different reason now.

“i'll be here to cheer you on while you’re out there and i’ll be back when you’re done to tell you how amazing you did, okay?”

you nod.

“now get out there!”

“well, we have a great show for y’all today,” ellen says, clasping her hands together, having just finished her monologue. “i mean, it’s always great but the exciting thing is we have two musical guests today.”

the audience that cheered wildly is shown on screen. you almost forget about the knot in your stomach when you see some people in the crowd wearing shirts with the cover art and quoted lyrics of your last single.

“i see you guys are ready so, without further ado... let’s get started. our first guest is a soloist who has made quite a big name for herself in such a short period of time. she currently has three singles on the billboard charts, her most recent music video is number one trending on youtube, and she has a new ep coming out soon. here for her television debut, please welcome y/n l/n.”

you walk out from behind the stage, a huge smile on your face. the crowd screams and you wave to them until your hands become too occupied hugging the hostess who greets you with open arms and a proud smile. once the hype dies down and your entrance music fades out, you take a seat, opposite of ellen.

“how have you been y/n?”

“amazing,” you respond, letting your hands fall neatly in your lap.

“and why is that?”

you sigh, wistfully. “everything has been going so well for me lately. i mean, i feel like all these doors are opening up for me all of a sudden. i think i finally made it.”

“you’re just barely realizing that?” ellen exclaims.

you laugh, along with the audience. “kind of, yeah. it just all happened so fast.”

“is there an experience that comes to mind where you finally realized how famous you are?”

you try to think for a few moments before your eyes light up. “okay so, i was at a mcdonald’s like, last month and i went through the drive thru and ordered some nuggets and fries. so, i pull up to the window to pay and it’s around 2 a.m. so the cashier guy is super out of it, like he’s not even paying attention to me. finally, he goes to grab my card and he gets a good look at me and just freezes. like, full on shuts down. so i ask him if he’s okay and he nods so i try to hand him my card again but he goes, ‘no, you’re famous, you don’t have to pay’. and in that moment i just knew.”

“hold on, pause,” ellen announces, dramatically. “you’re telling me that you have been nominated as artist of the year, gained over ten million followers on social media and made your national television debut but the thing that really made you say ‘wow, i’m famous’ was a couple of chicken nuggets?”

“ellen, c’mon,” you begin, seriously. “it was a twenty piece.”

“oh, well, that changes everything,” she says, playing along with you, as the audience erupts into laughter.

the rest of the interview goes smoothly, running on jokes and sarcastic energy. you discuss your young age (thus resulting in some of your baby pictures finally being revealed to the world), millennial culture (the crowd went wild when you explained terms such as netflix and chill to ellen who claimed she didn’t understand yet her sly smirk said otherwise) and your upcoming ep (that you would be giving a sneak peek of later on in the show).

you continue chatting once the commercial break is announced and ellen showers you with praises, commenting how young talent never failed to amaze her, although it did make her feel old. you get to thank the hostess and tell her how much you appreciated her sweet words and the opportunity she had given you before the crew is dragging you backstage so you can prep for your upcoming performance.

you’re greeted by a “that was awesome!” and a high five one you get backstage.

you flash mark a full smile. “couldn’t have done it without my hype man.”

just then lily walks in to touch up your makeup.

“and my hype woman!”

she just rolls her eyes and chuckles as she reapplies gloss to your lips. 

“seriously though, y/n. why did you have to be so perfect? the bar is all the way up here now.” to emphasize his point, mark raises his arm as high as it will go.

“hey, i only tried hard because you’re up next. you’re a hard act to beat, mark lee. i mean, you’re charismatic, charming, witty; basically every talk show host’s dream.”

he scoffs yet you see how he avoids your gaze, your compliments obviously flattering him to the extreme.

a staff member walks by, cutting your conversation short. “y/n, you’re back on in one. superm is on right after.”

you and mark turn back to each other, speaking the same two words at the same time.

“good luck.”

ellen introduces you again, only this time you hold a guitar and stand in front of a microphone once you’re back on the stage. you perform a never before heard song but judging by the roaring applause and standing ovation you receive by the end of it, it’s another successful hit.

you bask in the amazing response and then you’re ushered backstage for the last time. you catch sight of the staff placing more seats on the stage as you exit and you smile eagerly, knowing exactly what’s to come. you search the hallways for your new friend, hoping you can catch him before the show goes back on air. you’re almost about to give up when you hear your name being called.

you lock eyes with mark who stands a couple feet away, barely hidden from the audience’s view. even from where you stand you can tell he has a nervous smile on his face. you jog towards him and to your surprise, he envelops your figure without a second thought. in return, you tentatively wrap your arms around him.

“great job,” he murmurs, breath fanning your ear. “i really did cheer you on.”

“i’ll make sure to do the same.” you hesitantly pull away from his embrace, holding him at an arm’s length away. “go get ‘em.”

he gives you a determined nod and you watch him rush on stage, the audience’s wild cheering increasing. their energy didn’t fade once throughout the interview and just as you had suspected, mark was doing wonderfully. he clearly thrived in interviews; his awkward, boyish nature enchanting everyone in the studio, yourself included.

ellen crosses her legs and clears her throat. “so, i have to ask you something, you know, for the fans.”

the group leaned forward in anticipation, awaiting her next words.

“are any of you dating?”

the crowd released noises of amusement at hearing the very personal question. you can’t help but feel intrigued although you knew ellen has always been quite the invasive person. you watched as the seven boys looked around at each other, unsure what to say but before their silence can become suspiciously long, mark ends up taking the question.

“why are you always so curious about this, though?” he blurts.

the audience absolutely eats up his response, cheering at his bluntness. even you find it humorous, shoulders shaking with a chuckle. that’s definitely gonna become a meme, you think.

“it’s my job!” counters ellen. “why are you so defensive?”

the crowd is very responsive to ellen’s rebuttal, ‘ooh’ing in amusement.

mark’s silence only pushes the hostess to continue teasing him.

“does it maybe have anything to do with y/n?”

your smile drops. had she seen you two? you’re not sure why you feel so exposed; after all, you had just been talking.

ellen’s lips adorn a sly smile at mark’s stunned reaction. “you seemed to be getting very comfortable with each other backstage.”

the black haired male stumbles over his words before he gets a semi-coherent sentence out. “we just, um—we just met.”

“oh really? you two looked like you had known each other forever.”

mark chuckles breathlessly, eyes glued to his lap, obviously at a loss for words. ellen stares at him expectantly so he mutters, “i like making friends.”

ellen, the audience, and even some of the band members laugh at his response.

“well, i’m sure there’s a lot of fans out there that wish they were your ‘friend’.” her tone makes it clear she doesn’t buy his excuse but she prods him no further, instead turning to stare into the main camera. “when we get back superm will be performing their title track ‘jopping’. during the commercial break, please feel free to place your bets as to how long mark and y/n will remain ‘friends’.”

the camera pans to mark for a couple seconds; his ears are bright red and his cheeks are dusted light pink, his makeup doing nothing to help hide the blush. his eyes dart around, anxiously and then they cut to commercials.

you shake your head, smiling at the entire situation and just how big of a dork mark was.

you attentively watch superm’s two performances, eyes mostly glued to a certain rapper. you sit patiently in the makeup room, waiting for mark to return backstage so you can congratulate him but he never appears. you try to conceal your disappointment, even when lily enters the room, smiling brightly.

“well, the show’s over, doll.” she removes her makeup stained apron and glances at you as she places it on a nearby rack. “hey, why the long face?”

you stare at your reflection in the mirror, no longer bothering to hide your pout now that your frustration had been made known.

“you did great, if that’s what you’re worried about. just ask mark.”

“he left,” you mumble. “i thought i’d be able to catch him before he left and we could… i don’t know, talk a bit more? i just really—” you trail off.

“like him?” lily suggests, too loudly for your liking.

your head snaps towards her, eyes wide, only confirming your feelings.

“don’t worry, dear, you can say it. i won’t tell ellen,” she jokes.

you sigh and slump down in your seat. “yeah. i like him.”

“well, then, i have good news for you.”

you half-heartedly hum, allowing her to continue.

she waves a piece of crumpled paper in front of your face. you grab it from her, staring at it curiously.

“what’s this?”

she nods her head at it, encouraging you to find out for yourself. “open it and see.”  

you obey, unfolding the tiny item. your eyes struggle to read the words inside but if you squint, they become clearer.

please call, me i would love to become closer ‘friends’.

(xxx) xxx-xxxx

it’s mark btw :)

you can’t contain your smile at the cute little note.

“he’s adorable,” you say, mostly to yourself but lily audibly agrees.

“he ran into me as he was leaving and begged me to deliver that message to you. which reminds me, i’m supposed to let you know that he wishes he could have stuck around but his schedule is ‘crazy tight’ so he had to ‘dip’. his words not mine.”

you nod, grin widening. “thanks, lily.”

“my pleasure. nothing like young love.”

you give her a glare although it’s all but threatening.

she folds her arms, teasingly. “so, are you going to give him a call or what?”

you’re sure she sees the phone in your hand and the way your fingers press the numbers on the keypad, excitedly but nevertheless, you decide to answer.

“i’d be crazy not to.”

#mark #mark lee #nct #nct 127 #superm #mark nct #mark x reader #mark lee x reader #mark imagines #mark imagine #mark lee imagine #mark lee imagines #mark fluff #mark lee fluff #nct fluff #nct scenarios #superm x reader #mark angst #superm imagines #lucas fluff #ten fluff #taeyong fluff #superm scenarios #mark lee scenarios #mark lee angst #nct angst #nct 127 scenarios #mark blurbs #mark lee blurbs #mark drabbles

[ecclais-fouoras]

Sometimes moving on is good

Chapter 10&11

(11&12 on wattpad)

Chapter 9 here

Somehow both of you had managed to get your vacation at the same time, and you were planning to surprise Diane with a trip during the two weeks off you both had.

She was collecting strawberries in her garden and you were watching her from the window like you usually did when she was out. This time you decided to have fun and go find her to help. It was the morning and your flight wasn't before the afternoon.

You dressed to go out and came out the house and behind her so you could surprise her with soft kisses.

Your hands pulled her hair to the side as you pressed your mouth against the back of her neck, moving further to her jawline nibbling her skin quietly as your hands caressed her sides greeting her by kneading both her breasts.

"Oh hello there...what are you doing ?" She playfully asked as she giggled.

"Well I Wanted to meet my neighbor  have you seen her anywhere ?"

"Haha very funny...are you single by any chance ?"

"Yes I am, just don't tell my girlfriend I said that."

She set her box down before turning around and pointing at her house

"I think she lives here but most of the time she spends at her girlfriends house"

"Oh really ? Her partner must be a very nice person"

"Not really she's quite annoying I've heard"

You pretended to be offended for a second before replying.

"hah babe ! I am not annoying..."

She kissed the pout on your face and rested her arms around your shoulders to hold you while yours circled her waist. You both held each other for a few minutes, or was it hours ? Just enjoying the feeling of your bodies against each other, being close.

Her head resting against your neck as the sun was heating her skin keeping you in a warm embrace.

"Are you done with the strawberries ?"

"Almost why ?"

"I'll give you a hand so we can go home quicker"

"Okay we'll get started then"

"I will"

She bent down to pick up the box filled with the red fruit and you smacked her ass as she yelped, "hey !"

"Oops I thought there was a fly right there, wait here it is again" you said before slapping her again before grabbing her by the hips and pulling her close. She moaned at the feeling of your leg between hers.

"What is it about strawberries that gets you going like this y/n ?"

"I'm pretty sure it's not the strawberries."

"Well.. what Then ?"

"It's the paints"

She got up and began picking the berries up and placing them in her basket. You caressed her butt one last time before adding.

"Yeah...it's definitely the paints"

"Get to work y/n"

You took your own box and mimicked her movements. Filling your box up you picked one and brought it to your lips to have a bite.

"Hey put that down"

"Try me" you ate the fruit, moaning at the taste of it.

"You didn't even rince it, that's nasty"

"No it's not, besides you don't put any chemicals in this, it's good for my immune system"

"Yeah it'll be good when you have a little worm growing inside you, y/n"

"Whatever you say babe... At least

Come on and have a taste"

You picked one up again this time holding it between your teeth and moving your head closer to diane's, pausing in front of her lips, waiting for her to bite down on it.

"It's silly y/n"

"Mmf...comMfe..on" after some esitating she finally tasted the strawberry before you spit out the leaves and kissed her softly.

She giggled the sugary taste making your kiss more special.

"I'm really not going faster with you distracting me"

You got back to gardening, and once there was no more ready fruits you both went back to the house, hand in hand except for the recipient you held.

After some washing and tidying up you floped down on the couch her upper body resting on your lap as you massaged her temples with on hand and played with her hair with the other one.

"Baby ?"

"Mmm?" She groaned eyes still shut.

"Sit up please I gotta fetch something reel fast"

"Okay.." she sat up and waited as you disappeared to your office for a second.

You came back with your keys and put on your shoes at the bottom of the stairs.

"Can you grab your coat and put on your shoes again ?"

"Wh..wh..what's going on ?"

"Just trust me babe ?"

"..the things I do for you"

"Take your phone and keys too and meet me in the car baby"

"Wait...y/n !?? Where are we going ?!"

Chapter 11

WARNING ⚠️ SMUT (very slight mommy kink nothing too crazy)

You were both driving to the airport and you had managed to get her to bandage her eyes for the trip, after waiting at the airport you finally had hopped in the plane your baggages in the hold.

The flight was calm and Diane didn't complain about being blinded, your hand was on her thigh, keeping her grounded through contact.

When you were almost there you decided it would be too stupid not to let her see the landscape from up here especially since you weren't sure it would be this sunny when you left. So you tapped her shoulder before whispering in her here that you were going to take it off. She blinked a few times at the sudden light around her, she confusedly looked at you before you said

"I couldn't let you miss this"

Pointing out the small window as you were passing the few lakes and swamps surrounding the colorful fields.

"Oh good...this is beautiful y/n...where are we ?"

"..well this is...ouh you almost had me... nice try baby"

"I had to try"

"You'll find out soon we're almost here"

The rest of the time was calm between the few kisses you shared and the ones you pressed to her neck while your fingers rode up and down her thigh.

When the flight was over you got back your stuff and found the car you'd rented.

You took of her blindfold and she gasped

"Y/n are we in france ????!"

"Really ? What gave it away ? Let me guess the car's plate"

"Well there's an F and the shops have french names"

"Then Yes we are "

"I don't even know what to say y/n...i.. I'm..thank you I guess"

"No need to thank me..baby i wanted to take you on a trip so here we are. Don't get to comfortable cause we are driving for an hour an a half maybe"

"We ? Oh honey you are driving"

"How come ?!"

"It's your trip and I don't know where we're going"

"True"

After driving for around 1h15 you arrived where you were staying, it was a small farm that you had rented, away from the city but not to far so you'd still be able to go visit some stuff. It was a quiet place surrounded by fields and Forests.

"My god baby this place is Wonderful, how did you find this ?!"

"My grandma lives a few minutes away, I used to ride my bike here when I was 5."

She looked saddened all of the sudden for some reason and you couldn't help but hold her in your arms for a second before asking her what was wrong.

"..will you teach me ?..how to ride I mean"

You pulled back slightly raising your brows

"You don't need any help riding me ?...Oh you meant the bike"

"Yes I did you pervert...m..my mother never took the time to teach me"

"Well it'll be my pleasure, surely we can borrow my grandma's we hen we go there tomorrow"

"Wait...what ?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise so you wouldn't be anxious but your meeting my family tomorrow, we're having dinner at their house".

"Why didn't you tell me !? Y/n ! You know how I need to prepare for these...do they know how old I am ? What are they gonna think ?"

"Diane calm down baby..they know all that already they don't care as long as you make me happy and I love you...now let's put these inside I want to show you around before we settle in."

You both put your things inside the house and got ready for a small walk outside.

You went buy the animals that were there, a few goats, donkeys, horses and normand cows all enjoying their grass behind the wooden fence. She looked around eyes shining with amazement, feeding the animals and holding your hand as you went through the small paths protected by the leaves, the sun shining through them leaving dots of light on her face and her bare shoulders. You found a spot near a small fountain where you dipped your feets inside the cold Water, snuggled together while listening to the sounds of birds chirping and animals running though the trees. Your eyes Met each other and you were both driven by the desire to press your lips together, bodies tightly wrapped against each other, you started making on on the soft grass, the green plants tickling her ears as you started prepping up on your elbows on both sides.

Lips trailing downward to her neck, biting collarbones, hands running over her body, curves finding her hair to cup her cheek lovingly. Her breath getting shallower by each pressing of your lips, each touch of your fingers against her skin, eyes flying closed as she enjoyed the feeling of having you have her here.

The sun warming up her skin and water drowning out her sounds, little whimpers fell out of her mouth as you took your breast in one hand, lips starting their way down her body. Taking of her shirt and bra, leaving her chest available for your wet attacks, sucking her nipples as she moaned against you.

Your hands playing with each of her buds while you went down on her, she shivered in anticipation when she felt you take off her panties with your teeth, before she opened her legs welcoming you with her dripping pussy.

"So wet for me my baby"

".. please...I'm close already"

You wasted no time devouring her, between the soft licks on her clit and the sweet sucking of her lips, you had her on the edge quickly, her hips grinding hard against your jaw, fist grabbing anything she could hold, the grass, your hair, her skirt.

"Does that fell good baby ?"

"Uh..uh B..BABE...Y/N I..I'm gonna cum ....AH.!!"

she came when you entered her with two fingers, curling them inside her clenching walls. Bending her back until she snapped shaking in your arms, Your teeth grazing the skin there, drinking up her juices.

You looked up and pulled her panties back on and her skirt back up before coming up and kissed her while whispering.

"I love you"

You walked back to the house after she regained some strength, settling your things in the room before fixing each other something to eat, after you were both finished you washed the dishes while she looked outside again, admiring the landscape.

"I'm done sweetie do you want to go in the jacuzzi ?"

"There's a jacuzzi ?"

"Well it's a hot tub, outside but still"

"Baby i don't have any swimsuit"

"That's a good thing I packed one for you then"

"Well in that case lead the way"

She put on the two piece you'd picked for her, it was a green color that complimented well her red hair, and hugged her curves perfectly. And you had your swim shorts with a bikini top.

"Baby you look so hot in this Diane"

"you know me well babe it's a nice color"

"Hop in then babe, the waters warm just how you like it"

You lented your hand to help her in and she settled herself on your lap, straddling your things.

"There was plenty of room not that I'm complaining but you didn't have to sit here"

"I can get off if you want"

"Well I'm not stopping you if you wanna get off on me like.. go ahead I'll be happy to watch."

"You know what I meant, I can get off of you"

"I don't want you to"

"Good, me neither"

She began kissing your neck while her hands untangled your bikini straps fingers dancing on your nipples as you moaned.

"Let me make you feel as good as you did mommy" she was shocked at the words that came out of her own mouth, never would you had thought it was something that turned her on but you have her a reassuring smile and went on.

"Well go ahead then"

Her hands went down while she kept nibbling your collarbones, underneath your shorts immediately circling your clit, digits dragging through your folds, she build up the pace and grounded her hips down on your thighs, also getting wet from the interaction.

"Go ahead...baby...fuck yourself on mommy's lap"

After a few minutes you both came moaning each others name, her hips grinding with force on your lap, her fingers stroking you in rythme. You rested your head against hers breaths evening out, hands caressing her hair.

"This is going to be a great vacation"

"I love you y/n"

"Me too baby..me too"

#sarah paulson fanfiction #diane sherman x reader #diane sherman #sarah paulson characters