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#i mean he's not wrong
kotyatin · 1 year
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druid leader: we noticed you never call your servant by his true name
arthur, slowly like he's speaking to a toddler: you mean merlin? pretty sure merlin only has one true name and that name is merlin
merlin, sweating profusely: maybe we should just go?
druid leader: no, i meant his true name
druid leader: emrys
arthur: look, i know what you meant, i've heard it more than enough from you people. you don't get to say it and neither do i and honestly how dare you
merlin, looking like he's about to faint: what
arthur: so no, i won't call merlin by his deadname–
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cellgatinbo · 2 months
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charlie: give it a second. soon, i will jack in to the qsmp (pronounced kwispum) verse, where i will do what i always do. cry, try, and... have gay sex with my fellow egg guy. charlie: [fiddling with stream settings] is it sharing? is it working? hang on i think i have to change this... oh, there we go. charlie: why is- everyone's going "what? what?" you haven't watched a fucking-? watch a- watch a qsmp stream, man.
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mimic-tesdinic · 1 year
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So I’m reading this essay about how the sexual interpretations of Dracula tend to shift depending on the culture of the time, and it’s pretty interesting, but it also has the funniest quote imaginable
“Dracula is a horror story about vampires; the scene in the crypt depicts a vampire-slaying; the stake is a stake; and Lucy is a vampire who is being destroyed according to the method prescribed by folklore” -Robert Mighall
And like, that’s the academic version of dropping this bad boy in the discord chat:
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this is literally one of the funniest academic papers I have ever read
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rayssion · 3 months
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Percy: Nico asked me how long does he have to wait until he can stop listening to me. I told him he has to listen to me for the rest of his life.
Percy: he looked at me dead in the eyes and said "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life"
Percy: kids are so cold-blooded man.
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indelikatt · 3 months
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My therapist: I thought Tumblr…was a dating app for homosexuals. Is it not?? Me, scream laughing for my fuckin life: that’s Grindr, dude. Oh my FUCKING god that’s grinder.
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allwaswell16 · 5 months
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Louis (reminiscing): This is where I did my first audition
*someone in the audience looks like they aren't sure he's right
Louis (panicking): Am I wrong? I'm sure you, random audience member, knows my life story better than me
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groguandin · 2 years
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anakin, luke, leia: hi
obi-wan:
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kwistowee · 2 years
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EDDIE THE PRACTICAL™ STRANGER THINGS S4
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viesanterieures · 10 months
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Interviewer: Hello, nice to me- ...
Christopher Nolan: Cillian Murphy is the most beautiful and talented human being on this planet earth. I'm always overwhelmed by his performance and everytime I'm in his presence I feel as though my life has been granted supreme and everlasting purpose. When I look at the sea I think about his astonishing blue eyes that are better than every ocean that ever existed. I wish I could stare into them for the rest of my life
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rosetta-j-stone · 8 months
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Bojan, about him and Kaarija
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rosetta222 · 1 year
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panchambro · 3 months
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Eh...what's up Pomni?
[cw: chromatic aberration]
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Back in October, I decided to have the bold idea of drawing Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus.
I think he likes falling from the skies.
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telestoapologist · 2 years
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DESTINY 2 AS TUMBLR TEXT POSTS 💠💬✨
(14/?)
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girl-named-matty · 8 months
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MC: What's a way to block people in real life? Ominis: Restraining order. Sebastian: Murder.
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pharawee · 4 months
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I can't be the only member of the Wahl defence squad. 😔
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kix: do you know the ABCs of first aid? 
hardcase: a. bone. coming out of the skin is very bad. 
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