#i make crass jokes its fun

[rk-ceres]

Pretty Girl- George Weasley

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader (Season of love event) Fred Weasley x Reader(platonic)

Timeline: 6 months after the battle of Hogwarts

Summary: Reader gets injured in the war saving Fred's life, after the war she wakes up six months later and falls in love with George who has been taking care of her loooooooooooonggggggg ass fic. had an idea and ran with it mutual pining (strangers to)/friends to lovers I just thought this idea was cute

Warnings: no use. of y/n or y/h/n its just ____, written in first person, crass language, some dirty jokes here and there, nothing physical, slow burn, !FRED LIVES!, reader is a flirt, mentions of death in the war, reader looses a leg in the war, George takes on care taker role for Fred after he gets injured after he was saved by reader, and any others i missed

A/N: decided to take a stab at the season of love event that one of my favorite writers are hosting right now and half way through i really wished i made this a series but i guess this works better as a long one shot with room for more parts. Theres just so much you can do with this imho but it is what it is sorry for the long ass read it was just too much fun to write this ended to where i could add on parts if i really wanted too so if it seemed unfinished i dunno 🤷‍♀️

My eyes fluttered open and hissed at the light in the room everything hurt groaning out in pain as i sat up “oh good.. youre awake. I was getting pretty lonely being in here the only one conscious” Fred called out to me as i rubbed the eye that wasn't covered in gauze “not to be rude or anything but where am i?” i asked moving my hand to rub the back of my neck feeling the popping groaning in some relief throwing a leg over the bed “whats the last thing you remember?” He asked looking at me i rolled my eyes yawning out “I was fighting back to back with one of Percy’s twin brothers… i found him after…. After Penny died…im not sure which twin i was fighting with… i didnt have the time to pick out the differences. Or ask… we were outnumbered ten to three… the minister of magic came in Percy made a god awful joke…. Which we all shared there was an explosion that flew me and the twin i was with against eachother before the wall could come down on us i put up a shield…. And then everything went black” he shifted on to his side “it was me, you saved me.” He smiled “youre Fred?” i asked finally looking at him taking in his broadening smile obviously thrilled that he had someone to talk too “yeah. Im Fred. And to answer your question, youre in George’s bed. We’re at my flat in the shop” he explained “what am i doing in George’s bed in your flat in your shop?" i made a confused face "i know i didn't fall asleep after an intense love making session after a night in the pub so forgive me i am a little confused" i huffed "no. you didn't sleep with my brother. not yet anyway" he rolled his eyes speaking in an amused voice “youre in his bed because after you saved me. The ground gave way under you. And you fell through three floors of the castle, you scratched your face on the rebar on your way down. It missed your eye by a centimeter. I carried you to Pomfrey, You were in a coma for about five months almost six. I insisted that id be the one to help you recover and with your physical therapy after you saved my life. My Fiancėe Angelina would’ve taken care of your injuries for me since you know… im a guy and youre a chick. Then i went and got myself blown up by Bellatrix trying to save my sister… I failed her and now? we’re in the same boat. George turned his room into our recovery room since its the biggest of the two. Angel even agreed to it. Shes really grateful to you. She and mums been taking care of your chest wound seeing as how youre a woman, George handles your eye and… and your leg.” he smiled filling in the details. “What do you mean my leg? physical therapy?” i asked confused furrowing my eyebrows pulling the blanket off of my waist i looked down at my legs to see my right leg had been amputated above the knee “Madame Pomfrey had to take it before you succumbed. Part of the wall fell on it and it was irreparable. I killed the death eater that did that to you” my eyes started to water breathing heavily because it looked like it was so close to killing me i was relieved that i was still alive "love... hey… calm down its okay” he tries to stand but winces falling back to his bed when a loud sob wracks through my lips “shit… GEORGE! GET IN HERE GEORGE NOW!” He yelled suddenly bursted through the door “she just woke up” he told his twin she started to dry heave he wordlessly pulled me into his chest “shhhhh youre okay love its okay.. youre safe.. youre safe.. Pretty girl youre safe.. Percy sat in here with you for two months straight” he cooed they stayed like that as he comforted me when i finally composed myself enough i pulled back slightly  “thank you” i whispered to him “sorry for ruining your nice shirt… i didnt.. i didnt mean to George” i said louder scooting back to leab my back against his headboard “dont worry about that beautiful, its just tears. im sorry you found out that way” he said softly kneeling by the edge of the bed

“Fred was supposed to WAIT to tell you.” He glared at his twin he smiled sheepishly “I didnt expect her to pull her blanket off!” Fred defended himself “that’s enough out of you Fred” he hissed “im George” he smiled at her gently "______ Barebone, I was a ______…" thinking back to my house in school "in your year. Friends with your brother he dated my best friend” “Penny” we said together and i smiled “youre sitting up on your own. Thats a good thing.” He smiled gently at me “is it alright if i checked your eye?” i bit my lip and nodded at him gently. “Can i borrow your owl to write Percy? I want to make sure he’s alright, we both lost Penny" i said barely audible “of course Pretty Girl let me just finish up here i'll get you parchment and a quill when mum and Ange get here” he chuckled He unwrapped the bandage on her face i hissed at the dull pain in my left eye “good… good love, dilation is good. Can you follow my finger for me?” He asked softly “you're tracking well with your left eye sweetheart.” He mumbled he softly covered my right eye with his palm “can you see anything lovely?” He asked “I see your nose… but its blurry” clearly unaffected by his testing of pet names and terms of endearment  he smiled “it looks like the cuts on your face will scar but Fred and I developed a cream that’ll make it go away in a month if you want to use it. I dont have to put the bandage back on… Is it okay if I check your leg?” He asked being extra aware with me being awake and aware of everything he got consent before making physical contact and i nodded not minding the physical contact he slowly cut away the bandages “any pain?” he looked up at me with his green eyes  “just my side” i whispered “yeah, Fred and Percy said you hit a lot of rebar going down after the wall. I’ll let mom and Ange know to up your healing regimen on your side" he sighed looking back at my leg "so wanna tell me why im in your bed and not in St Mungo's right now?" i asked "y'know men usually take girls out to dinner before having their way them in their bed... with their brother watching... never been one for exhibitionistm you know" i teased he snorted "that'd be the voyeur's fault" George winked pointing back to Fred teasingly "thanks for saving him by the way. don't worry Madame Pomfrey stops by every two weeks and she trained both me and Mum to take care of your daily needs. You're in good hands Angel" He added “incision looks good, you can start using the wheel chair youre a little ways away from getting a prosthetic” he smiled “George dear its time to change her….” “Shes up mum” George smiled “I’ll come back in a few minutes with lunch and your potions. I’ll send a quick Owl to Percy as well” He stood up after wrapping her leg then leaving the room giving the women privacy

ଘ(∩^o^)⊃━☆:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ

“Afternoon love. You look stunning today” Fred smiled when Angelina gave him a lingering kiss "get a room Voyeur" i stuck my tongue out at Fred he let out a fake offended gasp at me "excuse me ma'am, YOU'RE the one watching ME doesn't that make you the voyeur" he protested "well look at the kettle calling the cauldron black" i retorted "ooh you're just as annoying as..." Molly quickly cut him off before he could mention Ginny pulling the divider so he couldn't see her disrobing “heavens Angelina you're fine shes awake” Molly smiled “Molly Weasley love, ive been taking care of your side. Angies been helping while you were under” she smiles at me "_____, but George has been calling me Love, Pretty girl, Beautiful, Sweetheart, Angel... basically any pet name he can think of. quite endearing" i said with a small smile taking off the hospital gown they put me in “im Angelina, I wanted to thank you for saving my Fiancé” she gently taking off the bandages on my chest “it wasnt an issue I think he returned the favor and then some seeing as how he got blown up just seconds after i saved his behind” i chuckled glaring through the divider "I HEARD THAT BRATT! its not my fault that Bellatrix was a crazy witch out for blood" Fred protested "i fell through three floors for you. i get to have this!" i protested back “he didnt have to do much convincing. George was going to ask you to Yule ball, and any one who keeps that dingleberry alive is a friend in my book” Angie smiled breaking up the sibling squabble we were having “lift your arms for us?” Molly asked when Angelina finally got the bandage off “he was going to ask me to the ball?” I asked wincing when my arms came up armpit height dropping them slightly “ive got you girl” Angelina caught my arms and lifted so Molly could repair the split skin “yeah, he was. George wouldn’t stop talking about it for weeks then McClaggen beat him to it. Sulked for weeks on end” Angie shook her head in amusement "he wouldnt stop moaning about it either" Fred chimed in "he was worse than moaning Myrtle" you could hear the disgust and teasing in his voice “thats sweet. He probably would’ve been a better choice. McClaggen was an arse” i smiled “your cut seems to be healing well, looks like you still have that infection. I’ll add the antibiotics back into your medicine” Molly smiled as she wrapped the bandage back around my chest taking down the divider again Fred promptly flipped me off where i just stuck my tongue out at him again

“Alright George, Fred, we’ll be off” Molly smiled “see you later love, have a good day at work. mum” Fred kissed Angie “call if you need anything George” Angelina smiled he nodded “Take these” George handed her the potions he sat on his bed next to her as he held the empty ones and handed me the full potion phials “how you feeling Pretty girl?” “Like i fell three floors out of a castle” i gagged drinking the potions that tasted exactly like feet "ugh you think that theyd be kind to people who almost die" i choked out  he chuckled “i would’ve said yes by the way” he cocked an eyebrow a me “Ange told her that you were going to ask her to Yule ball” Fred filled in “i wouldve said yes, McClaggen was a dick” i handed him the empty phials as he handed me the full bottles “we can go dancing later if you wanted too, i enjoy dancing i usually go to the muggle clubs on 5th. They have salsa nights, or ball room dancing. You know. to make up for the ball” i smiled his blush grew “i might just take you up on that when youre ready and comfortable enough on your new leg” he fell into a playful flirtation “even with one leg sir, i can out dance you” gaining a laugh from Fred “if youre already joking about having only one leg what was all that crying about?” “FRED!” George tried to scold “Honestly?” i cut him off looking to Fred “i was just glad it was my right leg. I had a bad tattoo that i had to get removed. Someone shouldve told that eater he didnt need to go THAT extreme” i jested “tattoo?” George asked “it was a swallow. It used to match my mom. honestly it really was a bad tattoo” i smiled “you think the healers would let me get a peg leg? OOH! I could even get an eye patch!” They both erupted into laughter “nah im just pulling your right legs since you know i dont have one” “alright alright stop!! It hurts to laugh dick head!” “HEY! Its peg leg to you! I dont have a dick. Or a dick head for that matter. But i will have a fake leg.” i yelled at Fred playfully he just laughed harder at that “ARG MATEY!”  The three share a laugh George catches his breath “who wouldve known you were so funny” he gave her a toothy grin that turned into a closed mouth smile “i make light of bad situations. My brother, ____. He used to call me sunshine and sing this stupid muggle song ‘ive got sunshine… on a cloudy day… when its cold out side, ive got the month of May….’” i laughed “my girl. From the temptations. He used to call me sunshine” “who knew you could sing” Fred Jested “i cant. But he could” i smiled at Fred “you have a brother?” George asked “Had” i smiled “took a curse for me told me to go find mum and dad, Dad died outside the room of requirement, protecting firsties. And my mom… she was tortured near the beginning.” i smiled sadly “Ginny ended up passing too” he smiled sadly she gave him a sympathetic smile squeezing his hand “i was crying because it looked like it came this close to crushing me entirely and for some reason im still alive. Something from the grace of Merlin im alive, i was happy that im Alive” i looked at George who was looking at me with a guilty expression

“come on handsome… wheres that pretty smile you had on for me i worked hard for that you know. Im not a good flirt. I was hoping youd lead, and hopefully ask me to dinner or coffee if i played my cards right. Its not every day someone as pretty as you are is willing to take care of me to laugh with me or at me” i reached up to his face he leaned into my touch chuckling completely red in the face “im okay, we four knew what was going on and what was at risk im okay. Promise.” i smiled softly at him he smiled “Handsome huh?” “You called me beautiful when im obviously a mess.” i shrugged he started smiling again she noticed his dimples and the way his cheeks creased and my face heated up “theres my pretty smile… you have really really pretty eyes… and dimples…. Did i mention i have a thing for guys with dimples.” i smiled rubbing a thumb on his cheek he looked down and back up to my eyes trying to find the right words “youre pretty even if youre a mess” he smiled softly “yep thats it. Ive decided. Youre the handsome twin.” “HEY!” Fred protested “take that!” George smiled laughing at triumphantly like that was an argument theyve had multiple times Fred who was pouting crossing his arms over his chest “youre the nicest twin” She smiled at Fred “acceptable” he smiled at me “im going to get your lunches” he smiled to them “thank you. Can i use your owl again? I need to owl gringots. Get some money for rent and food and care” i muttered to myself “no need. All taken care of” Fred said “you saved me. You dont pay for shit when in our care” he shrugged ending the conversation “do you really want a peg leg?” Fred asked out of the blue “i’ll take what i get.” i shrugged. “At least let me help with groceries” i huffed annoyed “once a month” George bargains “Zero times and shes happy about it” Fred protests “Three times but i let you pay for my prosthetic” she countered “no times, we pay for the prosthetic and she gets what she wants at the shop” fred demanded “we pay for your prosthetic, twice a month, you transfigure your own room, personal care supplies fully yours” George offered “thats a deal i can live with… did you just ask me to move in with you without you asking me out on a date first? When can i expect a proposal? Or should i ask Percy to bring Kingsley and skip to ‘I do’” i smiled at George and he flushed 50 shades of red as Fred snickered “you say youre not good at flirting but this is the third time youve rendered Georgie here speechless” Fred laughed she looked at Fred as he looked back at her “i cant help it i almost died, and lifes too short for me to keep being shy. Theres a first for everything right? Who wouldve known the first man outside of Percy and you i try to actually talk too would flirt with me. He could be my first love, my first actual relationship maybe. He could be my husband one day. Quit butting in youre ruining my shot i dont know how many of these i have you know. Mangled face and peg leg. I wanna get it right the first time! Who knows. Maybe if i flirt enough i’ll get him to fall completely head over heels in love with half of a girl i used to be Perc always told me to put myself out there. What a better time then now?” i shrugged Fred laughed “im not butting out Maam we share a room! Theres no possible way for me to butt out your business IS my business! And with the way youre going Love" Fred called out the way George would say it "he’ll be in love with you by the end of the week” Fred snickered George just shrugged “i had a crush on you in 5th year.” He looked at me it was my turn to be rendered speechless “you wont have to work too hard to make me fall for you Pretty Girl we're already half way there” he shrugged leaving the room leaving me speechless

°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩☆━(╹-╹’’)

A month had passed Fred was able to start his Physical therapy and Molly wasnt coming by daily anymore “FUCK!” Fred screamed “come on Freddie you can do it!” i cheered him on from my seated position on the bed  “it feels like my insides are going to spill out” He whimpered clinging to Georges shoulder “two more steps Freddie. Just have to make it to the chair” George encouraged “FUCK FUCK” he groaned “almost there Freddie youve got this!” He slowly took another step as i cheered him on "come on Freddie boy make that chair your bitch" i teased  he looked at her and smiled “thanks love.” He smiled taking another step reaching the chair “alright good good sit rest. We’ll go back to bed in 5” he smiles at his twin George looked at me with a smile “time to check my stump handsome?” i looked up to George “yes pretty girl. Time to check your leg, and your eye” he smiled i removed the blanket hissing as she moved further up the bed and turning to throw my leg off the side he sits in the stool next to the bed “any pain?” He asked as he looked at my eye with the flash light “just my side. I think your mom said it was an infection again. Apparently my core isnt strong enough to battle muggle infections.” i shrugged “follow my finger” i watched his finger as he moved it “sometimes it feels like my leg is still there and and its like a sharp pain. But its not there and its weird” i talk as he covers my right eye “i can see your face” i smile at him “she woke up screaming last night” Fred said to the air “she said she was fine her leg just hurt” “why didnt i hear the scream?” He asked as he unwrapped the leg “she casted a muffelito on the room before she fell asleep” Fred ratted her out “tattle tail” i stuck my tongue out at him “brat” he hissed back “Baby!” She teased “toddler!” He yelled back “you have crappy hair!” i crossed my arms over my chest “TAKE THAT BACK!” Fred yelled “MAKE ME YOU CRIPPLE!” George laughed at the banter "PEGLEG!" he stuck his tongue out at me "you two are toddlers" George rolled his eyes  “i… have nightmares. I didnt think it was an issue” i said as he looked at the leg “youre healing fast. Should be able to take the staples out soon, we’ll call madame Pomfrey to come fit you for a prosthetic. Tell me if this hurts” he said as he gently massaged my thigh above the stump i gasped as he gently squeezed “feels great” i said breathily “teach me” i whispered to him he smiled as i placed my hands over his he looked back down putting his hands over mine as he moved my fingers showing me how to ease the pain of the lost leg “it wont hurt forever…” he said softer i smiled at him “thank you George for doing this for me” i looked down “hey. Its handsome to you, Pretty girl, you saved Fred. Its the least I can do.” He kissed the top of my head “youre the kindest person I have ever met… and id get myself crushed over and over again if it meant I got to meet you all over again George. You’re making me fall for you. Is this one sided? Dont make me out to be a fool” i whispered in his ear gently kissing his cheek, his eyes widened in shock at the forwardness and tenderness this girl had for him they’ve only known each-other for about three months at this point he cleared his throat taking his hands off her leg “he's blushing like an idiot again! what did you say to him!” Fred who was watching intently with a bag of crisps “did you accio a bag of crisps?" i furrowed my eyebrows “its not every day i have a front row seat to my brothers love life. There i answered yours now answer mine” Fred rolled his eyes “I told him I thought he has pretty eyes” i fibbed they both know i did he raised an eye brow at me George still staring with red on his cheeks i shrugged

“i didnt lie. He’s…." i blushed looking down “nevermind” i turned over in bed facing the wall he leans over placing a hand on my hip gently and kisses my cheek “youd never be the fool when im with you. Its not one sided. Im the fool love made a whole career out of it. But im also a fool falling in love with the sweetest most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I’m the lucky one to get to take care of her” he whispered into my ear he pushes off the bed “WAIT WHAT DID HE SAY!!!” Fred groaned eating another crisp “thats for her to know. And you to find out NEVER” George said walking toward him “Come on Fred, lets get back to bed” George hoisted him up after putting the crips off to the side “i was eating those!” He pouted “sod the crisps you need to do this pt!” George yelled gaining a laugh from _____. A month had passed since then, “Afternoon Pretty girl, I need to check your stump” he smiled setting my plate of food on the dresser “we can get Pomfrey in here to measure you for your leg soon. And your physical therapy with Fred and I” i smiled back “can you massage my leg handsome? Its starting to hurt again….” i whispered “alright love, just for a little” he smiled she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror i frowned as Fred met my eyes mood immediately dropping “I gotta get down to the shop before Lee bites my head off.” He smiled at me and i returned it “have a good day at work Handsome” “thank you pretty girl” he smiled when the door closed my smile faded as i stared into the mirror tears formed in my eyes Fred looked at her concerned “you okay Love?" Fred whispered “I miss my brother” i sniffled “he always knew what to say” “well im not your brother but im in need for a sister… if youre in need of a brother… i think we both qualify to fill each others open positions yeah?” He asked i turned to him looking at him with tears in my eyes “teach me what to say, let me be your brother love" He looked at me with gentile eyes

“tell me im deserving pf love even if im broken and ugly” i mumbled he was taken aback he took in a breath and smiled “love, you’re gorgeous, George sees how pretty you are and youve got him whipped. You deserve him and the love he wants to give you trust me” hours passed when George walked in with our dinners light sniffles could be heard from the other side of the room my back was turned to him he looked to Fred who just gave him a tight lipped smile and walked to the other side of the room after handing him his plate he set mine down next to my un-touched lunch plate on the bed side table “hey pretty girl…. What’s wrong… you in pain?” i shook my head no “what’s wrong beautiful, tell me what’s the matter how can I make you smile again?” He cooed softly “Dont lie to me” my voice hoarse like i had been crying for hours he reached to wipe away a tear ”what do you mean I’ve never lied to you Beautiful” hurt hit me square in the chest “you just did. You always do.. mangled face, missing leg. I stare at the girl ive become all day that mirror haunts me my own reflection is a reminder that im alone. And im no longer beautiful and its sickening you dont have to keep flirting with me because you feel obligated to. No one wants someone like me. Not anymore im not pretty and im definitely not beautiful. I have no one. No ones here” i sobbed more closing my eyes sniffling “I miss my brother. He would be in this bed with me. Holding me. Telling me to cheer up sunshine the worlds cloudy and gray without you please sunshine smile for me? combing through my hair like he always did holding me together while I fall apart but hes gone. My mums gone. My dads gone. I havent slept in four months the nightmares keep coming back and I just want to cry I cant be the girl that flirts twenty four seven with a guy thats too polite to tell me that it makes him uncomfortable when this is all over im going to be alone again just let mw grieve the loss of my leg, my family, and my face. I have no where to go. All I have is an empty house my best friend died, my leg hurts twenty four seven and I just need to be sad for a few hours can you leave me alone for a few hours I’ll be normal again in the morning I dont need your pity” he continued to wipe the tears off my face as he processed what i said “im not going to stop calling you pretty, and beautiful because thats what I see when I look at you Angel, I mean look at you love…” he said softer “just look at you….. i cant take my eyes off of you… youre just too good to be true the sight of you leaves me weak there are no words left to describe how pretty you are sweetie”  lifting my face in his cupped hands “youre stunning you leave me breathless, all those things you just mentioned are fixable, love, half of what you said isnt true, you really think that Fred and Angelina is going to leave you alone after youre all healed up and better? Youve got another thing coming. Theyre never going to stop you have friends. Percy’s been here every day since we owled. Fred and Angie made it clear youre their person” he smiled softly “im not letting you go either im afraid youre stuck with me you still owe me a date, and a dance” he whispered standing up and draping a blanket over the mirror i cried more as she felt the bed dip behind me he pulled me into his side one arm under my head one on my torso pulling me on my back fingers immediately going to y hair “if you needed someone to hold you. You could’ve just said so I would’ve done this ages ago if you needed it” he brushed his fingers through my hair humming softly

“and you dont have to say anything to me at all. I flirt with you because I enjoy flirting with you. You make me happy and light, you render me speechless and no one. And I mean no one can do that. But you can, thats why I do what I do you dont make me uncomfortable love. I miss Ginny too. She was a spitfire and its hard not having her around anymore, and if its alright, I want to hold you while we cry about our siblings yeah?” He asked i turned on my side draping an arm over his torso “im sorry about Ginny… her and Luna were really nice to me” i sniffled “I need you to eat for me… I’ll eat with you.” He pulled the roll off of my plate, ripping it in half handing it to me “im sorry about your brother Pretty girl" he whispered as he ate making sure i ate some of the food as well

ଘ(∩^o^)⊃━☆:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:

A few hours later i let out a yawn d he started to get up out of bed my arm tightened around him feeling safe for the first time since ive woken up seven months ago “stay…” i said softly his shirt balling in my curled hand “please stay tonight” i whispered he let himself fall back into the bed “Darling wha… what do you mean?” He asked softly “Sleep here… in your bed…. I…. I need sleep…. And im scared to….. theyll come back and haunt me” i whispered “mate she hasnt slept in months i stay up with her as long as i can but i always pass put.” Fred piped up blush spread across my cheeks and i let him go flipping over to my other side embarrassed that i needed someone to make me feel safe enough to sleep “nevermind its stupid forget i said anything” i sniffled he simply reached over and turned out the light “i’ll stay for as long as you need me to stay Pretty girl" he kissed the top of my head again pulling me back into his chest his arm under my head curling back to put his hand in my hair other hand engulfing mine “i’ve got sunshine…. On a cloudy day….” He sung softly twirling my hair in his fingers “when its cold outside, ive got the month of may.. well i guess you say what can make me feel this way” she fell asleep holding onto his hand tightly

“George dear” Molly called out “SHHHH!” Fred said getting out of his bed hissing in pain “let them sleep for a little while longer this is the first shes sleeping since she woke up” he looked back to the girl who hid her face in his twins chest “lets go talk outside” Fred smiled one last time at them sleeping before throwing his arm over his mom and leaning on her for support as they walked out of the room shutting the door lightly

three hours later my eyes fluttered open looking at his sleeping face our lips were so close i bit my lip as his breath fanned over my face a surge of confidence emerged heart hammering against my chest i leaned up and gently pressed my lips to his, his brows furrowed as he stretched slightly pulling me impossibly close to him eyes fluttering open “i….. im sorry,. I didnt know what came over me i shouldve asked fir…” i was cut off by his lips on mine the kiss was soft and slow “goodmorning pretty girl, thank you for the amazing wake up” he murmured against my lips kissing her again “dont be sorry beautiful, ive been waiting for that” he cupped my face with his hand my face contorted in pain “thanks for staying” “i told you already baby… im here for as long as you need me to be” i let out a tear “whats the matter pretty girl? Nervous about your new leg?” He asked softly “im actually really excited for that really. Its just that my leg hurts… and its not even there anymore” i cried softly  “it wont hurt forever…” he said softer “i barely have pain in my ear anymore” he smiled showing me his missing ear she reached up and stroked the hair that fell onto the hole on the side of his head “i still think youre gorgeous Georgeous if you will.. ear, or no ear youre perfect to me… so perfect and kind and caring…” i whispered as i kissed the side of his head where his ear wouldve been his eyes widened in shock at the tenderness of this moment, just for him. He chuckles “only you would make that play on words huh? so cheesy Baby" he rubs my cheek with the pad of his thumb “baby youre so beautiful, and i want you..” he whispered moving his face closer to mine “leg or no leg i think youre amazing, smart, funny, and kind. Unbelievably beautiful and i dont think you should use the cream on your scars, it shows just how strong you are they dont define you or subtract from how i see you. And i would love it, if you’d accompany me to dinner when youre able to, i’ll ask again later when you get your leg and i help you learn how to walk again i want you” he whispered softly massaging my stump as he talked my eyes widened “i guess what im saying is i need you here with me… in the flat.. with me.. everyday youre the first thing i ever want to see and talk too when i get home from the shop youre the first thing i cant wait to see when i wake up… and i need you to stay here with me? Please? I promise you i wont hurt you.. just stay with me and i’ll take care of you.. whatever you need. Angel, please  ive never felt this way about anyone im in love with you Angel please... stay" he breathed out looking at me his arm snaking back up and around my waist tightening around me “im in love with you too George, and... and i want to stay with you.. you and Freddie...” i whispered he kissed me deeply it was a hungry and needy heated kiss the hand around the stump tightened as he pulled me even cliser to him putting the stump over his hip “baby i love you” looking into my eyes kissing me again

@george-weasleys-girl

#george weasley #george weasleyxreader #george weasley x fem #george wealsey imagine #season of love event #wizarding war injuries #fred and george #weasley twins

[xxmia0wxx]

Backrooms POI: Finley and Funny

Name(s): Finley and Funny

Aliases: "the Friendly Partygoer"(Funny) Team BoredFun, Fin+Fun

Dummy grumpy pants (Finley) =)

Funny dont add that in =(

You can't tell me what to do! XD

A stupid annoying idiot (Funny) =(

Hey! thats meeeeaaaaan >=(

Shut up =(

Last known location(s): Level 1, Level 5, Level 2, Level 11,

Known Affiliations: The Pity Partiers are the best and you should visit them =)

look I know they sound suspicious but you should listen to them =(

(Funny and Finley running from a smiler and a more clear, edited version of the smae photo)

Description: Finley and Funny are a unlikely duo of two eneties. (A rouge partygoer and a thought to be extinct partypooper) they have been seen wanderering Levels in deep conversation with one another, running from other entities

We dont do that! >=(

yeah we do actually =(

they seem to have a interest in guns and weapons as they have been seen carring many swords, guns and bazookas and making them as well

YEAH! THEIR AWESOME! right Fin? =)

Yeah i guess their cool =|

they love it =)

They both seem to be neutral on humans, they have been only seen killing them when negatively provoked

Uh YEAH? of course we respond violently to dumb, rude people! thats how it works dummy! =)

I think they're talking about how you clawed someones eye out when they accidentally bumped into you =(

It was level 201! I was on edge! >=(

Level 201 isn't that dangerous dumbass =(

you know why I didn't feel safe... Im not usually like that, honest! you can be a funny joke if you change your perspective! =)

Despite Funny being a partygoer, they have never been seen Hunting or eating wanderers but have been seen eating a prompus amount of Cannibal Cusinie.

Honestly cannbial cusinie so much more tastier =)

Im surprised you haven't gotten fat with how you eat that shit =(

Youda mean? =|

I'm just sayin its not good for you =(

WELL the more I eat, the less their is for the humans, DUH! =)

Finley has been known to be very cold and somewhat hostile to wanders, often pointing guns at wnaders but often never shooting

Don't worry, they only pull guns when they are just when They're grumpy, YOU SHOULD SEE WHEN THEY'RE MAD! HAHAHA! =)

Partygoers and PartyPoopers are infamous for being natural mortal enemies, but Finley and Funny have been seen either neutral or Straight-up romantic with eachother wait, wait, wait, WAIT. what do you mean by romantic? =(

uh fin we've been dating forever you stupid ass =)

Don't tell them that! >=(

Awwww! are you embarrassed?~ =)

im kicking you out of the room =(

Behaviors: Funny Has been known to be friendly albeit very malicious and dark regarding to their sense of humor, often making jokes about murder, missing family members, self harm, destruction, mental illness, or just straight up being rude piece of shit

You just gotta have the right mind set to get my jokes, Or at least a Mind at all! =)

as stated before Finley has been known being, cold, crass, rude, cynical but still helpful even if it doesn't effect them positivly. they have also been known to make edgy remarks reminiscent of that of a middle schooler who thinks they're depressed.

>=(

The following Is a interview log with The two eneties and dehila of the m.e.g in hopes to understand their odd situation better

____________________________________

Dehila: *Calmly walks over to Finley and Funny* Um excuse me-

Funny: FINELY SHOOT IT WITH FIRE ITS A SKIN STEALER!

-the tape cuts out for 20 minutes-

Finley: sorry about Asshole overthere *they point to Finny* they can't tell a clicker from a skin stealer

Funny: OH well excuuuuusse me for being jumpy in a plane of existence with cosmic entity cakes and hivemind cults following a dumb bluebird!

Dehila: oh it's quite alrig-

-the tape cuts out again

Dehila: so how did you two meet?

Finley: long story, but after the fun war PartyPoopers decided to stay in the promised land for "preservation of out species" or some dumb shit like that, but I left caused that Was the stupidest thing ive ever heard-

Funny: HA! not as dumb as you wanderering the halls alo-

-The tape cuts out again-

Dehlia: so you two have a bit of a enemies to lovers thing going on huh?

Funny: Eh, I guess, i mean we still fight ALL the time, and they're Super boring if that wasn't obvious! but.. i dunno They're a boring person, but Super fun to be around with! They taught me how to shoot a railgun, We made a bazooka that fires chainsaws, we smoke MJ together, They tell the best jokes! they've kinda become my muse!

Dehila: Aww thats so sweet- wait What about memory-

Funny: Nothing.

Finley: Yeah Funnys alright, Its nice to have someone who gets me, or Not takeing literally everything thing I say personally

Dehila: so funny, what separates you from the rest of the Partygoer?

Funny: Well I hate killing humans for starters, You guys are a alot funner alive, And Also Cannibal Cusinie Just tatses better, oh and also Being unwittingly controled by a giant birthday cake is super lame honestly, plus I'm having so much Fun With Finley!.... but I do miss friends back in level fun...

Finely: *sighs* ..yeah thats the hardest part about leaving..

Dehlia: so I've heard alot about "The pity Partiers" what is that exactly?

Finley: *akward silence*

Funny: Uhh.. well.. Uhhh

Funny:

Funny: you see when you love someone very much-

Finley: they're our kids

Dehlia: All of them?!?! they're like 50 of them!

Finley: 160 actually, Partypeople usally have 40 per litter

Funny: Yeah, why do you think were everywhere?

Finley: Anyways don't worry about them, their (mostly) harmless, right fun?

Funny: I think I have something in my teeth

Finley: yeah just don't hurt them alright?

________________________________________

log ends

#the backrooms oc #the backrooms #the backrooms fanart #backrooms #backrooms ocs #backrooms oc #partygoer x partypooper #partygoer #partygoers #entity 68 #entity 67 #partypooper #partypoopers #partygoer and partypooper #💛x💙 #fanfic #smiler backrooms #smiler #smilers #long post #cringe #cringey #fanart #suggestive?

[magnoliamyrrh]

i find the way the internet lost its mind at balkan internet so funny fusksks. yes reddit is a hellhole but there was and is an entire balkan side which used nationalist jokes and memes taken to the exteme as a way to make fun of how stupid nationalism and all the stereotypes we have of each other are. all in good fun all in joke all in the typical crass and sarcastic balkan spirit. if anything it was sweet bc many said it made them realize how stupid it all was and they ended up making friends from all over the balkans for the first time. but ofc the westerners were horribly offended by jokes the ppl themselves werent offended by and banned it

[not-terezi-pyrope]

FIPTION: There Is A Crack In The World (Review)

So, I finally finished "There Is A Crack In The World", the largest part of my fiction reading trade with @fipindustries. It's taken me a while, and I haven't spoken about it much here as I read, sending my in the moment thoughts to Fip directly, instead. Part of the reason I didn't finish it sooner was because I am abroad, and I've been distracted by not being in my own home, hanging out with my boyfriend, actually hanging out with Fip in person, but regardless; I am done now and here are my thoughts.

Crack in the World is a really interesting book for a lot of reasons. There are a bunch of things I didn't like about it, and a bunch of things I really did like about it, and it's fascinating for me how those things intersect. I'll start with my biggest criticisms; the writing itself is very one-and-done, unedited prose, which, combined with this being a novel written in a second language, results in text that feels fairly sloppy in parts, spattered with spelling and syntactic errors, odd sentence phrasing that needs a second eye making adjustments. There are some moments where I can feel the author had a clear picture in her head, but where the details didn't come out as clearly as might have been liked to the reader. These issues would be the biggest barrier to this getting published properly one day, but it's also arguably the most straightforward to fix; the book just needs a thorough editing pass, either by Fip or another editor. The intent is clear enough that I think someone could fix up these issues without any author input, and indeed I found myself doing so in my head as I read. The core meaning is solid, and so when thinking about the book I am going to largely ignore the typographical stuff, the narrative now feels fairly accurately transcribed into my head where I can prod at it as a consolidated story, and it is that story that I'll be reviewing.

The important context for CitW is that it was written when the author was, per her description, dealing with having been in a pretty bad place, and so the tone that the novel seeks to strike is a pretty grimdark one. According to the aftermath post linked at the end, parts of it were an exercise at writing "unrepentant misery porn". Maybe I am desensitised to dark fiction, but a lot of the book didn't really come off that way to me, but in a way that's almost to Fip's credit; even when she's trying to write a dark and miserable story, Fip's delight in writing about whacky characters playing out dynamic adventure narratives comes through in many places, and so the book's dystopic setting feels more Mad Max than 1984. The setting is dark and grim, but it's a cartoonish kind of grim that is, to be frank, mostly just sort of fun. There's a teenage edginess to a lot of it, which Fip has talked about being an accurate description of the mindset for some scenes. The times when that edginess doesn't work are, ironically, when the book really tries to be dark but in a way that pushes into being too crass to be endearing. There's a lot of blood and gore, which I appreciate, but then there are anal rape and shit jokes, which I do not, it feels a little bit too immature and too aspirationally edgy. I think some of that is regretted in retrospect. It doesn't detract too much from the overall feel, though.

The plot is also surprisingly straightforward, not as labyrinthine as I had expected at its core, a fairly conventional dual-protagonist adventure arc culminating in crossed paths (with several side-vignettes, as I discuss later). The ending is dark and follows up on the themes of hopelessness the most effectively of anything in the novel. After the entire book, I think that the background thematic radiation has built up enough for it to be earned, by that point. The final chapter and epilogues are a little fast and blunt, but not unworkably so.

There are two big strengths to the book, two things that I really liked. The first is the characters; Fip is primarily a visual/comics artist and you can really tell, even via writing alone, that she really likes coming up with cool characters with their own specific emotional vibe, and setting them off to interact with each other. These are guys who all feel like they should come with their own splash screen, tag line and iconic halloween costume. There's something almost superhero comic strip about the iconic identities of the characters, about their specific skills and motivations, true even for those that don't actually have their own "superpowers". But don't get me wrong, there's plenty of superhuman individuals on display, here; we have impossibly tenacious gun-wielding assassins, murderous, practically invulnerable clown girls, jungle mercenaries using anti-air rifles as a personal pogo stick, Russian mobster types, a literal dark lord... It's very whacky and fun when you get down to it, which is what really tempers the intended grimdark tone. You might fear that there's some dissonance there but it merges into something unique and interesting. That said, perhaps a more tightly edited version could change some passages with that in mind.

The second thing I really liked was that the story is used as a sort of... Stage setting for a bunch of smaller, more contained narratives, almost smaller parables (sometimes literal parables) that slot into the story. These are clearly separate ideas that were floating around in the author's head, and a lot of them are more tightly written than parts of the main narrative, more fully formed from the start. The two interlude chapters are the clear standouts in the whole work, and both are examples of writing in the style of these little vignettes. I do almost wish that the rest of the story was more integrated to match, there is a risk a few times of the non-sequitur insertions coming across as a little piecemeal, but this becomes less of an issue near the end - the second interlude is at once its own thing but is deeply connected to the rest of the story, and it makes absolute sense that it comes when it does.

One thing that the vignettes also highlight is the difference between pre-planned narrative trajectory/pacing and the "write on the fly" nature of the rest of the novel. There are some times where, in comparison, the "standard" chapters are at risk of tripping off required plot occurrences by rote without dwelling on them, and it's most notable by contrast. Keeping the little sub-stories in the novel is well with it though, and the pacing issue could be fixed with editing.

Other little things I liked: the bounce back and forth between protagonists in alternating chapters was very fun, and helped keep the pace up. I liked seeing the world from different perspectives, and from characters with very different roles in the world. For that matter, I liked the world itself; the worldbuilding was fun, if a little tropey, and I enjoyed trying to dissect the lore. There were a few things that didn't hold up to scrutiny lore-wise in retrospect, but that's understandable given the serial publishing. On the other hand, there was a lot of cool thematic stuff and character foreshadowing that was clearly planned well in advance and paid off really well. I'm avoiding specifics due to spoilers, but there are a lot of fun surprises in this novel!

So that is There Is A Crack In The World. Not a perfect book by any means, but a lot of fun and vibrant ideas. Fip has been sending me her excellent artwork for the story, which really adds a lot, and that compounds my desire to see this adapted as a sort of pulp graphic novel, given an ideal world. At it is, if there is future development of the story to be had it would be in a thorough editing pass. This is not required, however; the story is a fine artefact as it exists on its own, as rough around the edges as it may be, it tells an interesting and satisfying tale of some very cool characters. It's a shame I didn't get through it faster, but I'm very glad I took the time.

Great job Fip. Next up I read The Milkman (although that may also be slow coming; my preemptive apologies).

#not-terezi-speaks #fiption #there is a crack in the world

[sloshed-cinema]

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)

If Rian Johnson and Daniel Craig collaborate on a Benoit Blanc mystery every two or three years in perpetuity, I would be perfectly fine with that arrangement.  Whether Knives Out originated the current wave of whodunnit flicks, I cannot be sure, but Johnson is certainly better at capturing the spirit of the genre while putting his stamp on it than anything produced by Kenneth Branagh or the likes.  With the Netflix deal, production here gets a notable bump, but Johnson manages to work with the scale and avoid the having film collapse into bloat and Grey Man style blandness.  But I guess that’s what you get with an assured captain at the helm.

As with the original, the heart of both the film’s narrative and its charm is in the ensemble cast.  The group here are relatively smaller than the Drysdale clan, so the film is able to lend each character more of a backstory and relationship to the central billionaire tech mogul.  The result is a twisting web of mutual hatred and dependency, Miles Bron’s hangers-on swallowing a bitter pill in exchange for the payout of money and influence.  But that’s a precarious situation to put oneself into, especially on a private island.  Every cast member shines, helmed by Daniel Craig’s return as Benoit Blanc and an alternately cool and frustrated Janelle Monáe.  Dave Bautista makes the most of his appearance and his speedo as a Red Pill type YouTuber Duke Cody, and Kate Hudson gets to swing for the fences as airheaded influencer Birdie Jay.  Kathryn Hahn is perfectly calibrated in her role as an upward-climbing politician.  Edward Norton brings the group together just in time for his house of cards to collapse, revealing his essential idiocy.

Perhaps the film’s biggest weakness aside from a first act which is slow to get off the ground is its “in the moment”-ness.  This was an issue in the first, with some of the characters seeming a bit like “hello fellow kids” inside jokes about Zoomers in the name of screenplay expediency.  Here, there are a few too many cameos and name-drops which just felt like a bit of an excuse to get more names in for a bit of an “oh I recognized that person” thrill moment.  That said, Stephen Sondheim and Angela Lansbury were fun nods to their association with murder mysteries, and poignant inclusions in light of their passing.  And Hugh Grant was perfectly acceptable as Benoit’s “roommate.”  I’d be fine if they trimmed some of the other scenes in favor of the pair engaging in, ah, “roommate activities.”

As in the first, costume and production design are absolutely on point.  Everything everyone wears, especially Janelle Monáe, is both iconic and very indicative of their character.  Kate Hudson’s ludicrous fishnet “COVID facemask” when the group all gather on the pier is a perfect piece of costume-based characterization.  The vapidness of Bron becomes apparent through his crass displays of excess in interior design, famous paintings (likely originals) hanging up everywhere with no sense of taste or thought in their exhibition.  Johnson nods to Hitchcock both in the cheeky tone of his work, blending the macabre and the humorous, but also in his use of closeups and montage.  Especially apparent is the scene when Helen discovers the hiding place of the napkin with the original business plans that Bron stole.  Monáe’s face is bathed with colored light, evocative of Vertigo, and objects loom large in the frame as they do in the likes of Notorious.  Then again, sometimes he’s just cheeky—the film lingers intentionally on a statue’s large ass after everyone else has left frame because it probably made Johnson giggle like a schoolboy.  

THE RULES

SIP

Someone says ‘disruptor’.

Birdie screams.

Cameo or name-drop moment.

Someone flips the bird.

BIG DRINK

Jump in the timeline.

The Joseph Gordon Levitt DONGGGG noise happens.

Someone references COVID-19.

A gunshot is heard.

#drinking games #glass onion #knives out #rian johnson #daniel craig #janelle monae #kate hudson #dave bautista #edward norton #kathryn hahn #leslie odom jr #hugh grant #angela lansbury #stephen sondheim #comedy #crime #mystery #whodunnit

[tf2fansderogatory]

Ok genuine question. How old do you guys think the mercs are? 🤔 Personally I'm very bad at guessing sy's age so I'm curious

I'm throwing aside all official lore and chronological hypotheses, as well assuming that this is at the time they joined their respective teams.

Pyro is an enigma, but they read 50s or even 60s to me, simply because of all of the fun, agile, literally haywire midlife people that I meet in my part of the world. If you were desperate enough to trust them with a child, it wouldn't be completely horrible. Pyro for crime grandparent energy 2022.

Soldier, probably a graying 38, if not the same as Pyro. He is a prodigy of patriotic violence, and his back should only hurt sometimes, even if he's reasonably graying. He's old enough that, in special moments, he understands what kinds of people he's met to make on-the-mark jokes about them.

Scout, I'm pinning at 24, younger than his brothers, fresh, not completely crazy, and ready to cause trouble. He's an adult, but he has some growing to do, and none of needing to be a hyper-alert reconnaissance soldier has helped with wizening up his self-centered or completely nonexistent outlook on other people. He reads like a person who needs to follow, but tries to lead.

Demo is a hard 34, for me, but he's got an old soul for a party animal. This is the guy you meet who tells you about everything he's done at the same age you've done absolutely nothing with yourself. He's passionate, hard-working, and by God he'll do whatever he wants, or you're gonna get it. (Bombs and chemicals. You get bombs and chemicals.)

Engineer? 42. He's old enough to drink bourbon in front of your mom's fireplace, mean enough to miss his medical appointments, and well-socialized enough to worm his way into just about anywhere he wants to be. Watch out for his steel boots, and keep your hands to yourself.

Heavy? 47. The reason that Heavy is terrifying is because he's probably one of the most wizened people on the planet— And fully understands that there is nothing to stop him from his favorite hobby: wreckless, merciless, splattering homicide. He mows his lawn with a gun and the grass is people. That doesn't sound like the peaceable saint most stereotypically wizened elders are, but listen, he knows what he loves. All of that comes with living a gritty, satisfying life for a long time.

Sniper? Anywhere from 28-32, aged by hot sun and hard work. This is a confident man who has not yet accepted something about himself, but trusts his talents to make up for it. He's certainly not as polite as he leads on, but he is merciful in the way you'll go out, and he has a loose understanding of how things should be in a. . . generally normal setting. He's surely seen the world and all of its places, but he doesn't yet care to know any of the people in it. He'll make a great godfather, one day.

Spy? 45, similar to Sniper, but he has a deeper trust in his sense of self, no matter how bad (or great) that might be for other people. He's funny, crass, knows what he thinks he deserves, and has definitely gone off the deep end at some point. Keep an eye out for this guy, but don't look too close.

Medic is very in key with Heavy. I'd say 50. He's insatiably curious and beautifully optimistic all the time. He's reached a point in life where common sense doesn't have to matter, and he's burned enough bridges that nobody really wants to challenge that idea. He does whatever he wants, and his method of madness always works. If it happens to save your life, well, good for you! I promise that he doesn't have a deep apathetic hatred for humanity. . . Just a deep love for what he was built to do. He's one of the most human people here.

Thanks for the fun question! I have to go oil my digits, now <3

- Modbot

#answered by modbot #pyro #soldier #scout #demoman #heavy #engineer #sniper #spy #medic #tf2 whole team #anon #tf2

[combinado]

Just finished watching the final Venture Bros movie, and man... ;_;

Sure, it probably wasn't as cool as it could have been if it was a whole final season instead of just a movie, as was planned originally, but still. They probably made it as good as it was possible, with picking up most of the loose threads and neatly tying them. I don't know what else to say without spoiling anything, but as a long-time fan I was pretty satisfied with those conclusions. That ending felt really nice c:

And it's hard for me to describe everything that I feel about VB, but I basically grew up with this show. And it sure had a huge influence on me, and I owe quite a lot of who I am and what I'm about nowadays to it. It showed and taught me many things, and it truly means a lot to me. And I'm really glad that something like that exists and that I stumbled upon it many years ago and decided to stick with it.

Sure, the early episodes may be... rough, to say the least, especially by the modern standards - some of 00's adult swim language and jokes may seem in rather poor taste nowadays, but hey, it was a product of its time, and it does get better later on. And the early animation may not be super polished, and is also rough around the edges - the pilot episode was even done in Flash, haha. But I always found VB really endearing even despite that. And it makes it only more satisfying to see how the quality of both the writing and the animation get better and better with each season.

If you have the time, and if you're willing to tolerate the rough start and a few crass jokes here and there - please, give Venture Bros a chance. It's a wonderful show made with so much love and attention to the details, with a fantastic, fun and colorful cast, and it's just really entertaining to watch - there's more than enough humor, mysteries, suspense, cool action and heartwarming moments. And oh, the character growth! Some character arcs take quite some time to start rolling, but the payoff is great. And you probably would enjoy it even more if you know the things it references here and there, but even if you are like me and have been living under a rock without getting familiar with most of pop culture - it still holds up on its own just fine. And despite its 20-years-long (woah!) run, it's not actually that long - 65 episodes (counting the pilot and the specials) and a movie. (And don't miss the after-credits scenes!) There was a slideshow-presentation style post about "why you should watch Venture Brothers" that I really liked, but sadly I can't find it. But these posts can work as well: - https://www.tumblr.com/taki118/628651351412441088/go-watch-the-venture-brothers - https://weirdmageddon.tumblr.com/post/627555718310019072/in-depth-guide-thread-for-people-who-want-to-get - this one also has content warnings, though it's probably better to do your own research if there are some topics that are sensitive to you.

Anyway.

Go Team Venture. And thank you for the wonderful ride.

P.S. And here, have a picture of one my faves - the wonderful Dr. Orpheus :]

#you thought it would be a post about the movie impressions but no it's just me begging people to watch VB #now that it's finished i can finally do so with a clear conscience lol #venture bros #0r19

[adamwatchesmovies]

Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

At first, Kung Fu Hustle looks like one kind of comedy: a spoof of period-piece martial arts films. You know the ones. They have these wildly exaggerated villains with demonic martial art skills, heroes with abilities that defy gravity but can only be unlocked once they achieve inner peace - while craving revenge -, a small population of hopeless wretches that need a savior and wild stunts - all of which are taken very seriously. At lampooning this genre, it’s masterful. We get many big laughs. And then, something changes. Suddenly, the movie becomes something else that recontextualizes everything you saw before…

In 1940s Shanghai, the notorious Axe Gang have the police in their pocket and everyone cowering. The only people who escape their attention are those linving in slums too poor to be worthy of their attention. In Pigsty Alley, petty crooks Sing (Stephen Chow) and Bone (Lam Chi-chung) attempt to extort the residents. To their surprise, everyone from the Landlady (Yuen Qiu) to her husband (Yuen Wah) to the tailor (Chiu Chi-ling) to the baker (Dong Zhihua) and the labourer Coolie (Xing Yu) turn out to be master martial artists. Humiliated, the Axe Gang retreats but it’s only a matter of time before they re-appear.

I listed the Landlady and her husband as expert fighters but this might not be the accurate description. This movie abides by its own set of rules, rules that seem to have been inspired by the Looney Tunes. Maybe the Landlord of Pig Sty Alley has super special skills. Maybe it was just funnier to have someone survive a fall from the top floor and shrug off being pummelled by their wife. When characters run, their legs turn into spinny circles with feet on the border. These slapstick laughs are a match made in heaven with kung fu movies. Sometimes, director Stephen Chow goes for the crass and juvenile jokes but most of the time, the writing is clever and subversive. The first scene has Sing attempt to pick an opponent from a crowd to show how tough he is. He keeps choosing someone who could obviously beat him and it's so good.

Kung Fu Hustle leaves you wanting to see more. What I mean is that it contains obvious references to popular film you’ve definitely seen - The Shining, Spider-man, The Matrix Reloaded - and others you haven’t because you’re just getting started with the martial arts genre. You’ll hear a line, you’ll see a detail in the background that makes you go “I bet you that’s a nod to something”. Sometimes, these Easter eggs can come off as the director showing off. Here, it displays a love for movies, an invitation for you to check out other pictures Chow loves so you can come back to "Kung Fu Hustle" and get the joke. You’ll want to, particularly once you see the big revelations this film has in store during the conclusion. You thought Kung Fu Hustle was just a parody but it’s also an homage. It loves the films its referring to and while making fun of them - in a way that’s never cynical - it also is one of those films. There’s so much to like.

If there’s one criticism to mention, it’s the special effects. Several have not aged well and look quite fake. Almost… cartoony. In a more serious film, it would be a big deal. Here? It’s almost part of the joke to have stunts no one could ever do in real life look completely unconvincing. At times, I even wondered if this was deliberate. Probably not but this movie is smart enough that it may have recognized its limitations and found a way to turn them into strengths.

Kung Fu Hustle is consistently hilarious, imaginative, lovingly crafted, thrilling and smart. I didn’t know what to expect going in but it blew me away. (Original Cantonese with English Subtitles, January 1, 2021)

#Kung Fu Hustle #Movies #films #Movie reviews #film reviews #Stephen Chow #Danny Chan #Yuen Wah #Yuen Qiu #Eva Huang #Leung Sui-lung #2004 movies #2004 films

[sansxfuckyou]

And the truth came out

Summary: Sans decides to check out on Underlust one last time, never to step foot in there again, but, he finds his counterpart a lot more sober than usual and naturally, a conversation starts.

Warnings: Referenced sex, prescription drugs, check tags for further warnings.

Authors Note: "Hello Undertale Fandom!" shouted into an empty theater, anyways, if any of you are left (I know it can't just be me, right?) I'm just dropping this here for you, not sure how receptive ya'll are of Underlust at the moment, but I missed it, wanted to put on the good ol' headcanon goggles and write- anyways, reblogs are appreciated greatly and keep me going

---

"I wasn't always like this, you know that right?" Lust asked quietly, running phalanges along his humerus.

"I find that hard to believe, all things considered buddy," Sans said, he sat beside his counterpart who gave a weak laugh, it sounded forced.

"Yeah, fair enough, I have been sucking and fucking for so long it only makes sense, but, before me and Papyrus got dispatched and given our injection of Lust, I was just like you," Lust said, the somber tone he held was shocking to Sans who continued to listen in silence, flitting between eye contact and the prescription pills in Lusts free hand, "lazy, carefree, cracking jokes and capable of love- we uh, we're very, very different now."

"For sure," Sans answered with, Lust leaned back on the pavement below them, crossing one leg over the other, he looked content with himself to an extent as he twirled the bottle in his gloved hand.

"But, that's life, you fall asleep feeling buzzed and wake up feeling ill, that washed over real fast though, then I was just horny," Lust continued to explain, Sans could only nod, "not a whole lot of fun, I had an entire life planned out, just me and a hotdog stand, slacking off and keeping my brother safe; that didn't happen though," he popped open the bottle of pills and downed one, "not sure how much you know about that."

"Not a lot I s'pose, but hey, you ain't wrong about life doing that, just be grateful your Frisk didn't genocide you, over, and over, and over," Sans said, he gestured a little bit with his hands for emphasis, he stuffed them back into his pockets promptly and continued to stare at the bottle of pills- Lust noticed and quirked a metaphorical brow.

"Curious 'bout the drugs?" Lust asked, shifting from resting on his back to propping himself on his elbows, a light blue rose to Sans face upon being caught staring, Lust nearly breaks out laughing, "you don't have to be so pussy! Not like you caught me taking it up the ass," Lust handed the bottle to Sans who glanced over the instructions.

"You need hormone pills? Not to be crass, but you seem like the kind of guy whose had more than enough sex to kill a nun," Sans said, the confusion in his tone was visceral, even as he shook the bottle gently to punctuate his sentence with the sound of pills against plastic.

"No doubt about it, but yeah, a lot of us monsters are destabilizing without those magic pills, laced with our last source of Lust that's running out by the minute," Lust explained as he took the bottle again, dropping the second pill on his tongue, he could already feel his marrow start to buzz, it was addictive, "did you know that Souls can decay?" Sans shakes his head, he has so many questions bouncing off the sides of his skull all at once.

Sans had a hard time choking out an answer, "souls can decay?" Lust gave a nod.

"Yeah, when a human dies, the soul is usually in pristine condition and can be preserved for longer with the dying art of science, well, its dying in my Underground at least," Lust sounded rather sad as he explained, "I used to study biology in my spare time, try and find out why I was always so sad, then came the injection, couldn't focus afterwards."

"That sounds terrible," Sans manages to answer with, "you can come to my Underground instead- or join Ink, he'll help you, he'll fix whats wrong with you," there's a type of hope in Sans' tone, but his offer comes across differently than intended to Lust.

"No can do, I have to stay here and suffer out the rest of my days, I have a brother to protect no matter the cost and a human to learn from," Lust explained, the buzz in his bones got stronger, he could feel his mind begin to haze, but everything was starting to feel so much better at the same time, "I should be leaving before those pills really start to kick in," he stood up and brushed down his pants, Sans followed.

"Suit yourself, call me up next time those pills wear off man, I'll always have an ear to lend, if I had one that is," Sans grin is unmistakable and it makes Lust smile for just long enough to feel happy, Sans pulls him in for a brief hug and he bristles against it momentarily before sinking into the simple touch- he feels hazy now, he's going to make a bad decision if he doesn't leave, "see ya 'round," Sans pulls away and cracks open a portal, he turns to leave but Lusts grip lingers on his wrists.

"You're sure you don't want to hang around a little bit longer?" Lust asked, his tone was oozing need despite his better judgement, Sans noted the magenta hue that had already started to overtake the royal purple of his pupils, they were a bit larger than usual, and his touch felt fiery.

"I'm sure," Sans said, prying away phalanges and hopping through the portal, he turned to face Lust, finding that vibrant magenta had already started to tint his skull; he closes the portal.

Sans knew that meant Lust was getting, well, lusty, to put simply, he just didn't know that there were drugs involved to keep him that way up until tonight. He didn't know that they really did live in a fuck or die world over there, he simply assumed it was just an overstatement to keep anyone who didn't belong out. He could've just, never entered, never learned, and never tested, but, he's almost glad he did, even if Lust doesn't remember to call him up when the drugs fade.

It's kind of weird.

One event change and he would be living a completely different life.

He starts on his way to the libarby, they must have some books on biology in there- if Lust can't figure out why he used to be so sad, then Sans will. He'll try to at the very least, he's still not entirely sure of how far he'll get, but expectations of living be damned, he can sure can do shit for a friend.

#undertale #undertale au #underlust #sans undertale #lust sans #underlust sans #undertale sans #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction #writing #short fanfic #tw sex mention #tw drugs

[bloodgulchblog]

Would you recommend watching RvB from the beginning? Or at all?

Alright, so. As a person with a pile of interests with either bad creative processes, bad content, or both, I sometimes don't really know how to approach it when people might want in on aforesaid interests.

I guess the first thing about theoretically getting into RvB in 2023 is to know that RT is shitty and was always shitty. This isn't all of it, and quite frankly I don't know all of it, but it's a place to start I guess. If you come in, don't get attached to the people who made it because a lot of them are disappointing.

Red vs Blue, especially early Red vs Blue, makes use of a lot of jokes that aren't okay now and weren't okay then. It's frequently insensitive and crass. Expect things like casual homophobia, "funny" jokes about racist stereotypes, and being weird about women. (It helps that most of the characters are supposed to come across as total jackasses, but. Uh.)

ALL THAT SAID, if you do still want to climb into the dumpster with us and have feelings about this stupid pile of characters and the ridiculous situations they've been in, I have some thoughts about that:

Starting from season 1 is doable if you have a high tolerance for 2000s gamer fratbro-flavored nonsense. I joke that Blood Gulch Chronicles (the collective name for seasons 1-5) is the best because it's the stupidest but I understand why people don't vibe with it. The advantages to this approach are you never have high expectations for RvB and you get to see the characters growing out of one note jokes into ridiculous idiot people, the whole process of it tripping over itself and accidentally finding a plot, and you know all the references later. The downside is... well, it's BGC.

A lot of people say to start with Season 6, the first of the seasons to feature Wash and the show trying to have a more definite plot, but I'm actually not fond of that approach. I think Red vs Blue lives and dies by its characters because the plot has always been too stupid for me to get really invested in it. I think it hits better if you already have had time to bond with the pack of idiots in their idiot vacuum before you hit things trying to be serious. If you start off caring about the troopers before you get invested in the (significantly more competent) freelancers, it will make the whole experience more fun.

So, based upon one trial run with a friend that wanted in a few years back, here's where I'd go:

Start with Season 11.

This might sound like an insane person thing to do on a longrunning show, but trust me.

Season 11 through Season 13 are a complete arc, and are the best one the show ever had. Each "season" of RvB is about the length of a long movie, so it's not an un-doable amount of content to commit to. I watched them with an eye to letting a new person in the last time I did, and they are remarkably self-contained and do a good job of giving you just enough information to know what's going on without requiring the Deep Lore.

I think 11 is the best onboarding spot for someone who has been adjacent to Red vs Blue but never really dug in because the characters are developed, you get a season to get to know them when they're being themselves causing their own problems for a while before the major plot hits them, and the 11-13 arc is just really nicely done (more nicely done than RvB honestly ever deserved.)

If you get through 11-13 and want to know more about these characters, then jump back to season 1 and let your investment and curiosity about the backstories you've seen hints of carry you.

THEN if you still want to watch more rvb, you can cover 15-17 but expect to be miserable because 15 and 16 suck desperately. (17 does a great job trying to apologize for those seasons, but it still stings.)

#rvb tag

[thealmightyemprex]

Disney VHS Request REview Aladdin

So I have a fondness for old home media formats and have a bunch of Disney movies on VHS ,thought it would be fun to let my mutuals pick which ones I watch .And to answer your question ,I am watching these specific films on VHS ,cause it legit adds to the nostalgic feel

Requested by @goodanswerfoxmonster ,we shall look at Aladdin

The plot of this 1992 film is street urchin Aladdin (Scott Weinger ) gains posession of a magic lamp holding an all powerful Genie (Robin Williams ) who will grant Aladdin three wishes which Aladdin uses tomake himself a prince and woo PRinxess Jasmine (Linda Larkin ).Can Aladdin not only stand against the machinations of the royal vizier Jafar (Johnathan Freeman ) but also his fears of being himself ?

So do I have nostalgia for this film:Yes I do! Saw it many times as a kid ,as well as its sequels and TV series (I mightve saw Return of Jafar first ,I'm not sure ) .As a kidI thought it was a very good movie but as an adult......I have the same exact opinion

Yeah sorry folks I dont have anything groundbreaking to say about this film,most people agree it is pretty darn good,and I think it is pretty darn good.Its not among my favorites but everything is pretty solid in terms of entertainment I feel ....I am actually at a loss at what to talk about on this

I think Aladdin is a pretty solid protagonist with a solid character journey with his own insecurities while also being a very clever and resourceful hero .JAsmine is I think my third favorite Disney Princess (Behind Repunzel and Belle ) and I like the chemistry between the two protags .Side characters are good,love Abu the kleptomaniac monky and the Magic Carpet who is a character in its own right .The film,even seen on VHS and 30 years later ,I maintain is one of Disneys best looking films ,the animation is spetacular

The villain is great ,Jafar is a good mix of classic villainy while being a good foil to our hero,our hero is a poor kid ,our villain is this elegant guy in high power ,and that is his defining thing ,he DESIRES power.He might be one of the best power hungry villains I have seen ,because no matter however powerful he is.....Its never enough for him,and this comes to bit him in the butt ,which tends to happen with villains. HE is also just a good classic style villain,very elegant,cackling ,cracking puns and just enjoying his own evil .He is wonderfully designed and animated by Andreas Deja and I must give credit toJohnathan Freeman ,Jafars voice actor ,who is so comitted to the character he has played him various animated projects ,video games and even on STAGE over the past 30 years .I also must mention he has one of the best minions ,Iago ,his parrot voiced Gilbert Gottfried who is really funny .I dunno I love that there are moments where they are friends (Till the end at least ) and the contrast of this loud mouthed crass bird with this refined villain ,they are a good duo

I also think the film has some great action scenes ,including possibly the best climax to any Disney film next to Sleeping Beauty . The final fight between Aladdin and Jafar is legit exciting starting as a struggle,then becoming Jafar throwing spells at Aladdin and then escalating to Jafar becoming a GIANT COBRA while Aladdin battle him with a sword.Its cool I like ir

Of course ya cant talk about this movie.....Without talking about one character/performance. The Genie is just such a perfect melding of character animation and actor .Much has been said of Robin Williams performance with is various adlibs and impressions giving the character a zany feel ,but one must give credit to ERic Goldberg ,the animator who makes the character a litteral shape shifter and is somehow able to match Williams chaotic energy .Comedically just cause of how random some of the refrences are not all the jokes work......But he is really funny most of the time .Most of all his friendship with Aladdin and desire for freedom.Also "Youll always be a prince to me".....Always makes me misty eyed

Now lets talk about the songs cause this soundtrack is great....And it is kind of a miracle they are .See originally the songs were done by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman ....But then Ashman died and they tried to keep as many songs as they could but there were story changes so they got Tim Rice to work with Alan Menken ....So we went from Little Shop of Horrors guy to the Jesus Christ Superstar Guy ,kind of a weird mix .I am impressed by the work of all three and how it all fits together .Not gonna rank the songs,they are all great but I am gonna talk about them .Also will JUST talk about the songs in the film, as much as I love Ashmans deleted songs like the heartfelt PRoud of Your Boy and the villain song Humiliate the Boy (And its kind of tragic subtext )

Arabian Nights while I like Bruce Adlers singing and the actual instrumentals(And it became kind of Aladdins theme song ) is for me the weakest song.It sets a mysterious mood which is hilariously subverted by Robin Williams adlibbing a bunch of stuff as a merchant ,but its just not a favorite

One Jump Ahead is great ,I thought it was an Ashman song but its actually a Rice one,its a great comical intro to Aladdin as a character and I like short softer reprise

Friend Like Me ...Is the best.It is the best song .Contender for best scene.Robin Williams justs add so much energy ,the animation is so wild ,and Its just such a fun show stopper

Prince Ali is another great showcase for Williams this one is just such a fun hype song for Aladdin when disgusised as a prince

PArt of your World is one of the most romantic scenes in Disney ,Aladdin and Jasmine seeing the world on a magic carpet is just so damn lovely and the song is just so sweet

Prince Ali Reprise......Is one hell of an underrated villain song . They actually went through several possible villain songs for Jafar , till they decided to have him sing a reprise of Prince Ali .Its pretty short and I can see someone being disappointed they didnt use say Why Me (A villain song which gives us more about his character ).....I think this was the right choice cause it his BEST moment in the film ,he is GLEEFULLLY taking down Aladdin by VENEMOUSLY spitting back his own theme song,now thats a villain !!! .Also it is punctuated by a TERRIFYING evil laugh

Now Question time

1.Is Iago Furry Bait

Oh most certainly not

2.Is Jafar like KINDA hot

Honestly he kind of is . Johnathan Freemans voice is alluring and I love his elegance

3.do you enjoy this movie more or The Thief of Baghdad?

I like this film.....But The Thief of Baghdad is just better ,it appeals more to the side of me that loves fantasy and the performances are just so good

OVerall good movie

@ariel-seagull-wings @goodanswerfoxmonster @princesssarisa @themousefromfantasyland @the-blue-fairie @filmcityworld1

[changelingsandothernonsense]

5 Random Things

Tagged by @mareenavee to do this fun one. Yes it is taking me forever to manage messages lol.

So 5 things I like hey? Get ready for my whiplash of interests. Shhh everyone else has been tagged already. I'm just slack.

1. Bronze Age Near East and Central Asian archaeology.

Or the thing that I study. I'm very, very normal about the Bronze Age and I'm a massive history nerd. If it's not TES/Josh posting it's archaeology posting. I have managed to make this interest merge into my "I'm totally normal about the Dunmer" interest....because it is at the end of the day, the entire basis for it. And I've been studying it for 9 years at this point. I'm actually on the shortlist for a dig in October so stay tuned. (I am an archaeologist who has been without a site since 2020, it's driven me MENTAL).

2. Astronomy

If I was good at maths I would have gone into astrophysics. Instead, I do it on a strictly amateur basis. If you are friends with me on Discord you've probably seen me gush about my telescope. I'd love to get into astral photography one day.

3. Birds My favourite animal is bird. I am a bird watcher, I am a bird friend. I just love birds. 4. Horror.

I love it to bits, half the time it's just funny to me but every so often there's a story that actually scares me. I love that! It's why I've re-read WWZ 100 times. Few things hit me like it. The Thing is another one that I just adore to pieces, Threads is also right up there. Its the one film that truly disturbed me...and that may have to do with my light nuke and radiation history interest. I'll also throw my "Ceth is that kind of chick who devours true crime but only if it's dark humour". My favourite joke is "Bones in the Chocolate" so.... 5. Awkward and definitely not PC comedy. Hey, I'm old and my funny bone is crass. I find the worst shit funny. Probably the sort of stuff that, if out of context would make me seem awful...my thing is that it's in CONTEXT. Also, I'm probably going to throw 800 in- your- endos at you at any time of the day and there's nothing you can do to stop me. I do have the sense of humour of a horny teenage boy so...I'll keep that mostly to myself. It can get pretty niche when it veers into specifically Australian comedy.

I do not make parody rap when I'm bored...I DO NOT!

#tag games #i'm getting through em #hey look im weird lol #to tes

[bloodiedpixie]

Baz's Playlist

Song titles are in RED Lyrics are in italics

Carry On Portion:

You're dead: its about vampires and is the title song to my favorite movie which is about vampires...how could I not?

Bad guy: ohhhhh boy you're gonna see a lot of Billie. So first of all the line "creeping around like no one knows" omg Simon following him. I felt this is also a good song for Baz's love for Simon that he hides behind a wall of cruelty and thus making himself the bad guy. And that end bit is absolutely Baz taunting Simon.

Broken boy: This song is really good at portraying Baz's hate for being a vampire and constantly diminishing his experiences, hence the lines "broken boy, how does it feel?" and "tell me why I'm forced to live in this skin" there's also a line that mentions vampire so I felt that tied it all together

Rebel Prince: my dumbass didn't notice this was also on Rainbow's for longer than I care to admit but just read the lyrics this is the most pining Baz song I've ever heard. Bonus points cause I love this album and Simon has a song from this album on my Simon playlist, they match!

my strange addiction: OH! OHHHHH! OH MY GOD! THIS FUCKING SONG! This is baz in my brain and here is why and this might be the longest explanation on this post tbh

Right so first couple verses and chorus omg Baz to a T!! The don't ask questions verse is straight up just "don't ask me if I'm a vampire. You don't want to know the answer. And I know i shouldn't talk to you"

The little grammar joke is just, Baz being a smarty pants

Then obviously him saying he wants Simon and I like the line "get what I want" cause Baz grew up rich

And the bad bad news bit is perfect like, always saying one of them is gonna defeat the other, saying Simon is a fuse and if they fight they'll explode

And the chorus is just him being obsessed with simon

The deadly fever verse with the fever and fire symbology is perfect, especially since Simon was always warm and Baz probably did think Simon could light him on fire just by kissing him and obviously the "kinda like it" bit is Baz being disturbed lol

And the bite my glass set myself on fire is pure self depreciating Baz just calling himself crass and wired and then its back to the chorus....thank you for your time onto the next thing!

I hate myself for loving you: self explanatory plus I love Joan Jett soooooo

Touch me I'm sick: nothing really in the song thats baz esc but the title is call back to the "I'm disturbed (ask anyone)"

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE: Baz's constant battle with his fantasies

Oxytocin: mix of fantasies and wanting to make Simon yell, bonus points for the against God lines

Around my head: Not understanding why he loves Simon and hiding it

Yes, to err is human so don't be one: vampire and just...Let me paint a picture, Simon and Baz just got in a fight Baz, smelt and saw Simon's blood closer than he had before and he desperately wanted to taste it, so he's battling in his mind between "I would drink your blood if you let me baby" and "omg just set me alight I'm a monster"

Watch: doubting he'll ever be with Simon, bonus points for fire metaphor

Kiss with a fist: OH just quintessential enemies to lovers song

Landfill: ✨self depreciation✨ and "cause I want you so much but I hate your guts, I hate you" had to add it

Girl crush: jealous of Agatha, bonus point for mentions of blonde hair

Heather: jealous of Agatha

. : fun title, anyway, jealous of Agatha

Haleys comet: self depreciation and some "silly of me to fall for the chosen one,"

Its called: Freefall: I always felt this song had baz vibes, kinda the idea of Baz confiding in "the devil" and finding out that he's just as human as everyone else.

I am the antichrist to you: I yoinked this off Rainbow's playlist, I am assuming its the song baz is learning on violin. But anyway the lyrics are perfect for him!

When you sleep: oh this song makes me so emo every time I hear it. The calm down tactics in the lyrics and the pleading to their unrequited love that they will be anything for them. Verses about seeing them in dreams and marrying them gave me coffin vision vibes and, God its just sweet baz and I wanna hug him.

White blank page WFUV live: the live edition has more passion and anger in their voices so I chose this one. This song is very Baz, imma have to thank the discord server tune parties for showing me this one as a baz song but whoever showed it to me you're absolutely correct. The lyrics are like baz questioning Simon if he really loves Agatha. And the lines "you desired my attention but denied my affection" and "where was my fault? In loving you with my whole heart" SO BAZ! SO GOOD!!

you are my sunshine: Baz mentioned he always tried to hold onto to the memory of Simon in the coffin and thats really why I added this, it obviously has the "oh my love will never love me back" stuff but "please don't take my sunshine away" has so much power behind it when thinking of a scared 18 year old pleading for release from a coffin. (Jesus why does no one focus on that more? He was literally locked in a coffin!!) Bonus points for sun imagery cause "you were the sun and I was crashing into you"

Damn these vampires: Baz hates being a vampire and I take any chance I can to add a vampire song

Arsonist's lullaby: omg Baz pyromaniac Grimm-Pitch and his drama is this song. Also the lines "when I was 16 my senses fooled me. Thought gasoline was on my clothes" reference to baz wanting to set himself on fire especially in 5th year, when he was (you guessed it!) 16

Deaths door: quite honestly, it was on Rainbow's playlist and I just like this song so I added it

Bury a friend: BILLIE! BILLIE! BILLIE!

"What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? What are you wondering? What do you know?" 5th year

"Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?" 8th year,

and the bonus points line "honestly i thought i would be dead by now"

Poses: this song makes me think of baz walking through Pitch manor in his suit ready to go to the vampire bar

A Burning Hill: you all know why this is on here

Today I will wear my white button-down I'm tired of wanting more I think I'm finally worn For you have a way of promising things And I've been a forest fire I am a forest fire And I am the fire and I am the forest And I am a witness watching it I stand in a valley watching it And you are not there at all

Thats just chapter 61

I'll be good: I've always thought of this song like Baz promising to be better after hurting Simon so much and realizing he had done wrong

Bloodsport: such a baz song, also from Rainbow's playlist, and my favorite line that makes me think of Baz, "I will burn the people who hurt you the most and I will not learn"

Wayward Son Portion:

Too late to say goodbye: this is kind of a play of Baz's love for Simon but dislike of seeing him so depressed and awaiting the end, its "too late to say goodbye" for Baz, he's in too deep.

Its alright now: I yoinked this off Rainbow's playlist and she explained why it's on Baz's playlist, check that out here!

Drift away Omnichord: so yes, this is a Steven universe song, but the Omnichord cover has the echoey vibes I wanted. And just genderbend the song to be male and its Baz in WS, case, and point,

"And then she smiled That's what I'm after A smile in her eyes The sound of her laughter Happy to listen Happy to play Happily watching her drift away"

"Happily wondering Night after night Is this how it works? Am I doing it right?"

Video games: okay so really the only reason this is on here is for the chorus, nothing else fits to Baz but this was a little too perfect to not add,

"It's you, it's you, it's all for you Everything I do I tell you all the time Heaven is a place on earth with you Tell me all the things you wanna do"

Lovers' eyes: oh boy howdy this is actually the song that made me want to make a Baz playlist. The lyrics in this are just so close to Baz and the pain in the singer's voice really adds to it. It really shows how Baz is looking back on his relationship and being sad yet still feeling like "I would still die for him, here are some lines that really show it.

"Love was kind, for a time Now just aches and it makes me blind"

"Were we too young? Our heads too strong To bear the weight of these lover's eyes"

"But do not ask the price I pay I must live with my quiet rage Tame the ghosts in my head That run wild and wish me dead Should you shake my ash to the wind Lord, forget all of my sins Oh, let me die where I lie 'Neath the curse of my lover's eyes"

Change it all: ohhhhh lord this song, its pretty self explanatory in the title. Baz wants to change the life around him, wants Simon to feel better, and have a boyfriend who shows love to him instead of only having a whisper of affection in the air.

"Heard a whisper Something said so sweet Now quiet as ever, we'll leave this scene"

Million reasons: staying with your love even if they're giving you a million reasons to leave.

The Night we met: Baz wanting to go back to when he and Simon first started their relationship

Any Way The Wind Blows Portion:

Noise: another one yoinked from Rainbow's playlist, but omg this song!! Just so perfect for watching your love slowly slip away

Happier in hell: so I feel its brushed over that Baz refuses to get help for himself and seems to push everything down until he breaks down. Now the lyrics that I think need some backstop would be the drinking line because it is confirmed when he was in fifth he would get drunk in the catacombs (granted Simon only caught him once but I always read it like he did it a lot) and also the "I'm an imposter" line, omg being a vampire/gay and keeping it hidden and then the "i should suck it up" super fits to him and I think the "I've been to heaven" applies to him being with Simon before WS and this song would fit to WS/early AWTWB Baz

My cell: this song has very few lyrics but they're so powerful and fitting to Baz in early awtwb, I particularly focus this song on when Baz is texting Simon and getting no response

"Falling in love is wonderful Falling in love is so alone My cell"

A case of you: Canon break up song babyyyyy

If you love me, come clean: questioning if Simon loves him or not

Mystery of love: its just a pretty love song that has soft getting back together vibes

Before you gotta go: getting used to being with each other and honest, and getting past fights, its a sweet song I feel it relates to Baz and Simon's getting back together moment

Make me feel: *wolf whistle*

Stolen dance: Baz is finally getting the love he deserves and wanted, their dance was stolen but now they got it back

m'lover: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"I want to say what lovers say to you I want to feel what lovers feel with you I want to do it with you"

Cinema (Acoustic): i really don't like the original version of this song but this one is really pretty, and very accurate to Baz watching Simon.

Little things: domesticity baby, that's what its all about

Sweet creature: learning to be in a serious relationship, but they love each other

I will: Canon song in the book but also just Baz

I found: he found his love, right in front of him

Coffee: ✨domesticity✨

Dream: Baz just living his dream

Some things cosmic: its haunting, its kinda creepy, its about devotion and love, its Baz

Sea of love: i think this is just a super sweet end to his playlist (for now)

#Spotify

[iloveabunchofgames]

#JakeReviewsItch

Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe

by Retroware

A review in two parts.

See Part I for The Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures.

For The Angry Video Game Nerd II: Assimilation and The Angry Video Game Nerd In Tower of Torment, read on.

Review:

If AVGN I was Mega Man, AVGN II is Mega Man X. This is still a game that laughs at your attempts to skirt its deathtraps, but it’s mellowed slightly. Fewer lasers; more health pick-ups. And like X before him, The Nerd can slide down walls.

It’s all thanks to a pair of “Grip Loafers” that appears in the tutorial. In later stages, you’ll find additional enhancements in the form of NES accessories, like a Konami LaserScope that reveals hidden platforms or a Bandai PowerPad cape that slows descents. These permanent upgrades replace the first game’s character-swapping; a change for the better.

The first AVGN was seven distinct levels. The sequel has four worlds (three levels and a boss fight), plus a shorter fifth at the end—an improvement in some ways, but the theming is hit and miss.

Mouse Trap mice and Hungry, Hungry Hippos attack in a Crossfire-themed level. Awesome! Enemies in the horror world are…ghosts? Mummies? Yawn.

AVGN has covered plenty of Japanese games. Why is this “Tokyo” so reliant on broad sushi jokes?

Fortunately, Tower of Torment splits the difference, throwing assets from both games in a pot and mixing in an inspired Big Rigs joke.

+ Almost everything you loved from about the first game, with enough new twists to give it a unique identity. + Excellent challenge. So intense it makes my hands sweat and shake, but after having cleared several levels without losing a life, I can attest that this game is always fair. Slightly less demanding than the original, but no less rewarding. + Mega Man X-esque upgrade system. Looking every piece of hidden equipment is a fun; returning to old stages with new powers is even better. + Assimilation's final boss is a bit anticlimactic, so I'm glad I have the Deluxe edition, and no the standalone release. Tower of Torment is an excellent ending that calls back to both games and a few other iconic AVGN moments.

– Nerd commentary still falls flat. – Boss fights were a little too difficult for my taste in the first game, so I'm glad they've been toned down, but there's been a slight over-correction. – Mega Man and similar games have conveyor belts. Sushi travels on conveyor belts. Cinemassacre is home to a lot of videos about Godzilla. I get how these three concepts were combined into a sushi/neon/ninja level, but the execution feels out of place in an AVGN game, and borderline racist. Make jokes about specific ninja media! Get the Toho creatures out of the background and into the stages! – AVGN I took hard swings with its jokes, references, and themes, and a lot of them missed. The sequel comes across as more timid and less inventive, without being ant more consistent. There are no "I can't believe they did that" moments.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 Bottom Line: If 8- and 16-bit action games aren't your cup of tea, Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe probably won't change your mind. I don't think you have to be a fan of the Web series to appreciate the game, but if all things crass and crude rub you the wrong way, keep your distance. Don't play this one in front of the kids. For anyone else, this is a no-brainer. Which game is better? Who cares! Individually, they both get a strong recommendation. The best versions of two great games, packaged together, complete with a worthy epilogue? Go for it.

#JakeReviewsItch is a series of daily game reviews. You can learn more here. You can also browse past reviews...

• By name • By rating • By genre

#Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe #Angry Video Game Nerd #AVGN #Cinemassacre #Screenwave #Retroware #Freak Zone #Bundle for Ukraine #Neo-retro #Mega Man #Mega Man X #Crossfire #Super Mario Bros. 3 #side scroller #JakeReviewsItch #Computer Game #Video Game #Nintendo Switch #Indie Game #Itch.io #Game Review

[lem-cup-rev]

Centaurworld (2021)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

-Spoilers-

I’ve been thinking about Centaurworld so much I wanted to make a fuller review.

This show really snuck up on me. Seeing the title card on Netflix, I thought it was going to have a very squiggly, floppy, intentional ugly style and mostly butt humor. But eventually I saw the Wammawink backstory scene as a preview and it pulled me right in.

I get catnipped so hard by things that play with animation styles. I love the way we begin crisp and formal with an anime rider and a classic-Disney horse, and then warp into insane squishy Nicktoons world.

I’m just absorbed with how high the production value is when it comes to unique poses and tweens. The animators really get to have as much fun as they want and every moment feels so alive and playful.

I love the idea behind Horse disturbingly evolving into a cartoony style from being in Centaurworld. But I find squishy Horse a hundred times less pleasing to look at than Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron Horse, which I think is the greatest tragedy of the show.

I love that all the important characters are women. I love that Horse has no Female Character Design at all, while also having this cute vulnerable-seeming voice. I love that her problem is being too tough.

I really, really enjoy what my girlfriend referred to as female Over the Hedge dynamics: a bold leader and a protective leader vying on how to take care of their found family.

My favorite one is Glendale. God, she’s so funny and off the wall. She makes me lose it.

I have so much affection for Wammawink. She’s so feminine and motherly and a complete freak.

Though I have to admit, I usually didn’t enjoy Ched being there. He’s just racist against horses, it usually didn’t land as much of a joke.

There’s something really fascinating and special about the tone of this show. On the surface, Centaurworld runs on whimsy - everything is cartoon logic, anything can happen, everyone is crazy. But it’s also a world where people are living continuous lives and serious things can happen. You can die, you can get hurt, you can lose the ones you love. The characters experience these things with full depth of emotion. It’s so not a crass gotcha like “lol what if the care bears killed each other!” It’s just totally sincere and natural.

It makes me remember an Adventure Time artist saying, like, it is a cartoon, but it also has its own physical logic and events have consequences. This is so like that. The cartoon logic is totally loose and crazy, but the magic behind it is this thing that’s acknowledged in the world and has its own kind of limitations.

The storytelling has a kind of creative ambiguity that I love. We meet all these crazy characters and societies and engage with lots of overt themes and worldviews and we aren’t really told what to think about them. It makes the world feel big and interesting.

The music is so great. There are so many fun hooks and evocative instrumentations. When they break out the eerie chorus, like with the taurnado and the Nowhere King lullaby, it just makes my heart race. It’s interesting that Netflix supplies the label “Childrens’ Music”. I don’t think the show is specifically for children, but I do love the way it draws on cutesy, sunshiney, and heartwarming styles in both sincere and ironic ways.

Initially, the end of Season 1 was a major disappointment for me. The new premise, “there’s a bad guy with an army we have to fight,” felt thoroughly generic and uncompelling. It felt like it had rolled into the stale-ending gutter that I think a voting majority of all contemporary stories do.

From the lullaby, the Nowhere King was such an eerie and ambiguous presence. I imagined him as another Centaurworld denizen they would meet on their way, living in some barren valley, who would pose some strange, interesting, chilling obstacle. “You will bring joy to the Nowhere King when he sees the light leaving your eyes” is so intriguingly ambiguous. Does he kill you, or does he somehow drain your happiness away?

I found it a letdown that he was just a powerful guy that kills you.

But Season 2 picked the torch right back up and ran, and I had a wonderful time. The recruitment story was lots of fun and fully continued the feeling of weirdness and exploration. And the further development of the Nowhere King was really excellent and compelling.

I lost my shit at Glendale’s TED talk. Whoever wrote that arc is the smartest person alive. Her shocking competence coming from working on her own anxiety… the nuanced, modern analysis of the coldtaurs’ behavior told in brilliant rhymes… the way her voice just gets deep, even, and sexy when she’s in charge… I loved that so much. I listen to that song all the time.

I won’t get into all of the other parts that I found especially compelling and great. And definitely there were elements I didn’t find pleasant and parts that I didn’t find as interesting. But clearly the creators had a great time telling a big crazy story and I loved watching it. I hope they all feel pretty proud of themselves.

#review #spoilers #show #5⭐️ #centaurworld

[unproductive-software-blog]

𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬

Bloodborne is a perfect video game to some people.

Bloodborne is a critically acclaimed video game.

Bloodborne is beloved by a shockingly active fanbase given its status as a single game released over 5 years ago.

My most popular post on this blog is a “quick tip” reminding people that the player character model has a highly detailed spinal protrusion. This post was popular because I used simple sentences and the word “sexy” while talking about a popular video game on Tumblr.com

My best friend’s Aunt loves playing Bloodborne. Her son, who played in an emo band and grew up with Danganronpa, has also loved Bloodborne since he was 13.

Bloodborne is exactly what people who hate video games hate about video games, right down to the presence of guns.

Bloodborne is also exactly what your run of the mill game reviewers are always saying they want: tonal cohesion and consistency, with story and gameplay harmonizing in a singular and jaw-droppingly detailed setting.

My friend at age 7, Evan, would have loved Bloodborne, because “you can kill in it”.

I lived with someone whose primary hobby was working out, who plays maybe one video game per year, and he and I devoured Bloodborne together. We made fun of it the whole time for being stupid and unfair, but never earnestly considered dropping the game. Our character was named Chad. He used the worst, slowest, dumbest weapon in the game, the Kirkhammer, nearly exclusively, and had an orange face shaped like a crescent moon. We never touched his Arcane or Bloodtinge stats, despite hitting the “soft cap” on strength-related damage increases about 1/3 the way through the game. We hit level 105 within 44 hours of play, and made a joke of the game’s “true” final boss. We then joked about how dumb that ending was, and put it away, before years later playing through Sekiro together and treating it with an earned sense of extreme reverence.

I have an incredibly close friend who once told me they “play video games for the writing”. Not even the story, but the writing. Bloodborne is one of their favorite games. They relate to it on a personal level given their life experiences. They are probably the closest thing to an expert on Bloodborne lore someone can even be without making things up. This person is also a professional games journalist, whose work I read consistently and dutifully.  I consulted with them before writing this article, to see what they thought about some of my more negative opinions on the game. I asked what they thought about the fact that you can fist a pig to death in the game, and how the game design essentially begs the player to do it at times. They called me a crass term for female genitalia. Well, I would rather be someone who gets called a pussy than someone who calls others pussy for their opinions on a video game.

My best friend Aidan, a successful and well-adjusted scientist, athlete, and off-and-on hardcore gamer, took one look at the game, the pig fisting, and the dismal nighttime setting, and determined that Demons’ Souls and Dark Souls were more his thing

My former co-director at our now-defunct video game studio, Studio Casting Key, likes Bloodborne. He and I played it together online. He paid for my PS+ account, because he’s a good friend, and friends don’t let friends pay for Playstation Plus. He and I were doing research for a Lovecraft-inspired RPG we were concepting at the time. He lamented that Bloodborne’s developers clearly wanted players to engage with its story and characters, but needlessly obscured much of that content from them. I disagreed at the time. I make it a habit to disagree with people when I talk to them, in order to coax out a more nuanced and intelligent version of their opinion from their subconscious. Playing “devil’s advocate” (the devil in this case, fittingly, being Bloodborne) I said that I liked how obscure the story and side content was, because it’s “more eldritch that way”. I said I wanted our game to be a card game where the cards are written in a fictional language, and the only way to learn what they did would be through play, but many of them would have disastrous consequences. Then he said he said something or other about his favorite character, whose name I struggle to recall even now, having fully completed her storyline in my third playthrough. I didn’t know who he was talking about, but silently felt cool for not caring one way or the other, because caring about the story in a game like Bloodborne was, to me, nonsensical. I was, like Micholash, Host of the Nightmare, from Bloodborne, navel-gazing hard.

Over the course of our playthrough, my friend’s internet-approved build was causing him frustration. He said that building up beasthood was impossible. I thought he was dumb to try and do something the internet said would work. I had no idea what beasthood even meant. I have currently played Bloodborne for well over 100 hours and have still never actually filled that stupid beasthood meter. That mechanic is stupid. It’s the developers’ fault for putting it in the game, not my friend’s fault for assuming a mechanic in the game would “work” or “be fun” just because it was in the game. We continued to take turns making fun of the game and praising its sound design (which, when listened to alone with headphones, actually includes a lot of glitches, such as the same one second loop of audio sometimes repeating endlessly during the battle against Rom, the Vacuous Spider, or the painful pop which damages my $500 Bowers and Wilkins headphones every hour or so during regular play) until reaching Micholash, Host of the Nightmare, and stopping because that fight was “stupid”. “Why would they even put a puzzle boss in a Souls game”, we wondered aloud as we gave up on the game for what once again, felt like the last time.

Why, then, did I return to Bloodborne, a game I only ever pretended to be interested in as a way of relating to my more casual gaming friends, and spend all of my free time for the last month on a 100% playthrough of the game, reading every bit of text I could find within the game and online? Because, as fans of this blog (if any exist) would know (if they existed), I played Demons’ Souls, and discovered just how rich the “Souls” series of games can be when one devotes 100% of their attention to playing and understanding them. Demons’ souls has puzzle bosses, and they are awesome and meaningful. Bloodborne, I assumed, must share the worldly perspective of the other games in its “series”.

Unfortunately, Bloodborne is not in the Demons’ Souls series of games. Bloodborne is what happened when From Software stopped being the dark horse game developers who made that weird flop Demons’ Souls (you know, that timeless masterpiece that changed gaming forever?), so Sony begged them to come back home (and bring their die-hard audience). From Software, now a ravenous beast reveling madly in the blood (money) of its fandom, could not resist Sony’s Pungent Blood Cocktail (money), and devised to create a game so utterly appealing to gamer bros and modern game critics alike, that they would all have to buy Sony’s bloodbourne (Uyghur slave labor driven) game console, the PS4.

Yeah, Bloodborne does have some themes in it. I personally love the theme of people getting so caught up in fantasy/ideals/religion that they let the real world fall to pieces. It’s just too bad the whole thing feels so totally lacking in self-awareness. It’s practically hypocrisy. As if getting to NG+7 is any more noble than Micholash, a villain of the game, spending all his days lost in a dream, vainly searching for meaning where there is none. Video games are basically the new religion anyway (especially if you correctly think of modern social media websites/apps as giant, horribly managed MMOs). Back in the day, people used to spend their free time in real life, thinking about real life, and having ideas about real life that they called religion. People kept building on those ideas, and they got pretty unwieldy, especially with all the money involved. Nowadays, people spend all their free time in video games, thinking about video games, and having ideas about video games that they call content. People kept making content, content about content, and content about that, until it got pretty unwieldy, especially with all the money involved. Attention has always been monetized, but I guess everyone’s just gonna keep letting it happen in this current form until we start having wars over the stuff. Then they’ll invent something else.

Near the beginning of this game, a little girl asks you to help her find shelter after you kill her father, who had become an insane killing machine. You tell her where to go. Then you go there, and she’s not there, like every other character you’ve led to safety. If you return to the place you met her, she’s gone. For most people who even make it this far into the quest, it ends here, with a big unsatisfying question mark. I looked it up, and she died on the way to the safe house. The only way to tell is to kill an enemy you have no reason to return to and see that he has a bow you never saw the girl wearing in the first place (she isn’t modeled). How were you supposed to find that? Was I supposed to go searching the city, worried sick (I was), until I found this? It’s extremely stupid, because if the game had allowed me to do as I pleased, I never would tell a little kid to run through a gauntlet of madmen and monsters by herself, I would have escorted, or even carried her. From Software didn’t let me do that, however, because that would mean modeling the girl, or worse, letting me kill her. You see, it was part of their design philosophy at the time that just like the “enemies”, any character you can see, you can kill. This philosophy led to a lot of interesting decisions in the Dark Souls games, but those games never featured any child characters, likely for this reason. This makes suddenly seeing a child, and having the option to save them, hit so hard at first; you feel like you’re saving the last sliver of hope and innocence in a world gone mad. This makes it feel all the more pointless and contrived when she dies due to the developers refusing to go all-in on their own design philosophy. Instead of making another game about moral choices, self-sacrifice, and the relative easiness of doing things the wrong way, From Software chose to rob their players of any real meaning this scene would’ve had in the name of keeping the game “consistent” and “cohesive” (my least favorite words in modern games discourse).

Enemies bleed when you attack them. Your character can get blood on them. It’s a great feature that adds a bit more ickiness and realism to your actions, making you feel a bit like a monster yourself at times. However, the blood effects are so stupidly exaggerated, that your entire character can become dyed red in a way that is only ever (unintentionally?) hilarious. If it is intentionally hilarious, then the game should try to say something with that humor, and double down on it. As it stands, Bloodborne is a ridiculously stone-faced game that tries so hard to make you feel bad, while doing what Killer 7 (consuming your enemies copious blood spray), No More Heroes (blood rain, hyper-gore moves), and Space Funeral (overuse of proper nouns containing the word “blood”, Leg Horse) did as satirical jokes making fun of this exact type of excessiveness. Bloodborne also has serious elements in common with those same games (uncertainty over who the real victim is, hallucinations, kidnapping/abduction, trauma, enemies that sound something like a real person in severe pain/anguish), but it dives so head-first into the deep end of edginess for the sake of edginess, that it reduces the impact of its violence when it actually has something to say about pain/trauma/mental health. 

Also, you can fist a pig to death in this game, and the game design practically begs you to do it.

It’s ridiculous failures of game design like these that cause people to not take video game experiences seriously. It’s moments of investment in a story or theme or tone being subverted by nothing but cowardly game design, a refusal to create additional assets, and over-adherence to a tone or theme regardless of how the player is made to feel in real life, that causes gamers to grow desensitized and turn to stupid jokes when discussing the medium, as opposed to real criticism of games as art, not just entertainment.

I refuse to laugh it off and say “it’s just a game, dude”, because I really do love video games. To shrug away these tone-deaf moments would be to dismiss all the genuine emotional experiences I’ve had with games, including the genuinely funny ones.

I refuse to let my $30, 130 hour investment in a video game control my emotional responses!

I refuse to become an insensitive, unthinking, sarcastic person in the name of turning off my brain and enjoying a game for the gameplay!

I can enjoy gameplay WHILE thinking deeply about a game and its place in the world, and I can do it while MOSTLY criticizing the game!

If you can’t do that, you’re probably too young to be playing a game like this! This is why we call it M for Mature, because it takes MATURITY to spend time with a flawed and excessively dark game like this and NOT get weirdly desensitized!

Brains on people!

#bloodborne #From Software #Demons Souls #DARK SOULS #dark souls 2 #souls series #soulslike #ps4 #playstation #sony #video games #game review #Game Analysis #analysis #review #rant #gamer #gamer for life #gamer fun #gamer toxicity #gamergate #toxic fandom #toxicity #social media #gamer aggression