#i maintain that the comparison doesn't work for all characters equally

[spotlightlowlife]

Mammon is the best written character in Helluva Boss!

He reflects the 'sins' of others back at them, audience included.

Was he a worst boss than Blitzø?

Was young Blitzø right to try and hinder Fizz's dreams?

See through her successful execution, was Bee not just as shallow business friendly?

Is he any more responsible for the sxxbots than Ozzie?

Was Ozzie withholding the foundation Fizz was frantically looking for as he tried to talk him out of the pageant, only revealing it and handing it over when he give up trying something that's just fine?

Do Fizz's other bad experiences pale in comparison to working with Mammon?

Bosses are bad, parents suck and anyone with power is an issue really, they upset the fav and if it's a problematic fav, well it's this baddies fault.

Formulaic? Yes.

I like this show and have no issue admitting it's definitely guilty of all these, case in point with the character in question, an employer and royalty who refers to his victum as child, stepchild and granchild, but this show has an additional villain common theme, which is sex and lack of.

Where Verosika is an actual sucubus and former love interest of Blitzø and Barbie debuted manipulating a teenage boy, Mammon instead comes from a long line of de-sexualised non throw away adversaries, following in the footsteps of business bad dad Paimon, failing business bad dad Buckzo and self made widower bad dad Crimson, along with the "prude" angels and Striker, who Millie's parents were very fond of whilst openly disproving of Millie's choice of husband in Moxxie, who struck up a one sided rivalry with Striker, only Striker wasn't interested in either of them.

Mammon joins this club by showing his discomfort at the prospect of producing sexbots, quickly rebuking any potential critics in words of pure projection. Years later these dolls have low gone down well because they are marketed in all areas, though their appears to still be little appreciation for them as first one we meet is poorly maintained dispite being a host at a large family amusement park.

Still, he made the bots work even though it wasn't for him. Ironically it is Ozzie the prince of lust who manufactures the dolls, yet the doll proposal (which the audience were made aware of) and assumed business collaboration between the two princes was a thing before Fizz chose entered the (optional) competition, won and found fame, yet now Ozzie has caught feelings for Fizz there's now issue with his sxdolls existing and who's fault is this?

Another thing Mammon appeared to talk down on was pageants, but still, he stepped back from his "clown stuff" he "doesn't even do [clown stuff] anymore" and into that boss, mentor/instructor/agent, stage parent role to train who ever happened to win the pageant, his methods are reminiscent of many of those who rigidly train performing artists, like it or not.

It was a disingenuous claim for Ozzie to make that Mammon has done nothing for Fizz, better performer maybe, doesn't need that gig definitely, but a dislike of someone doesn't equal they're good for nothing as much as people get comfortable believing and this invalidates Fizz's stress, guilt and loyalty based on feelings of debt and inadequacy.

Fizz needed the confidence to be able to move on, his situation wasn't an unrelatable one, there's nothing wrong with taking all you have gained, bidding farewell and leaving certian situations behind. Though the episode moved in the 'business is bad, bosses are bad' direction, yet still Mammon was the one to make this turn fun.

Seriously though, we only ever hear of business in passing from Stolas, Ozzie or Bee, Bee and Ozzie getting to have nothing but fun whilst fulfilling their role, getting up close and personal, forming loving relationships with those at the very bottom of the social structure we are supposed to believe is a thing. Mammon on the other hand, insincere affection and vulgarity aside, was rather professional - as insincere as his interest in wellbeing may be he did still show up when Fizz stalker approached to ask how Fizz was and did offer to let Glitz and Glam performe first which was undeniably helpful, even if it was just to get back on track. He was consistent with his work and purpose, who didn't let us know of any interests outside of work, we never know what is his opinion, so was the "women just aren't funny" remark, that wasn't a joke and was retracted later, based on sales, as he really didn't care who entered or won any of the pageants and the context was to not waste anyone's time?

Is he more chauvinistic than Fizz and Blitzø who referred to Glitz and Glam as "bitches", "snatches" and "sluts"?

Another remark was Fizz's supposed weightgain, again, not a joke, just who does constantly put up with totally uncalled for fat jokes at work? Moxxie. Blitzø would react to a weight gain remark directed at Fizz but unlike Mammon who took back a previous statement without really needing to, do we get the impression that Blitzø now regrets partaking in fat jokes aimed at his most erratic employee?

In Blitzø we get someone who isn't very professional, who is overly personal and aggressive with his employees, whose screen time has deviated from the business he made the effort to set up, who doesn't listen to idea or reason, knows best and makes poor business decisions such as spending a chunk of money advertising on a tv station that hardly has viewers. Pilot matters, content is content.l for us to eat up.

Blitzø let's Fizz know that he's being spoken to in a way he shouldn't, yet within his almost every communication with Moxxie being cruel, he too has behaved in a dismissive toxic positive way, remember the party thrown for Moxxie who had to do something he felt conflicted in doing then didn't feel good about it later? Who cared if he enjoyed himself.

Moxxie's behaviour during the recent summer camp episode was heavily down to finally getting the freedom work without being shot down, berated, threatened and ignored. He would go on to realise that his desperation to work his vision resulted in him not listening to Millie and being insensitive and he corrected himself. Great character development, in an episode were we followed the main characters at work, something we do half the time.

On the subject of work.

All those years ago, why exactly did Blitzø cringe the very moment Mammon proposed the pageant that would have the winner work with him? Because he didn't want to risk Fizz leaving his side, he made that clear, he even strategically answered but not really Fizz's question about if he could win, but what shadowed this was his later decision that the show turned out to be a waste of his savings, there were too many clowns and Mammon puked and passing out on stage. Same Blitzø who was enthused to be there, showed no disdain to clowns and had no plans to leave his family circus, dumping on Fizz's dreams out of nervousness at things changing and being left behind.

Fast forward and the once mild mannered Blitzø has grown into an obnoxious exhibitionist whose antisocial behaviour has caused him loneliness, dispite being very supportive at times. We have seen get blackout drunk when centre of attention and spew. Still, all these years later, we have no hindsight but Blitzø knows Mammon is a phoney who he saw through, but what does he base this on? 'Extortion', the slip Blitzø didn't react to?

Up until this episode Fizz was doing very well for himself, he was famous as he had wanted to be, he lived a happy life of riches, fun job and pushing lust with his sugar daddy lover, who is royalty, who he wakes up to each morning, who manufactures his dolls?

Fizz had only been the reigning pageant champion for 10 years, wasn't the accident and his fall out with Blitzø prior to this? Until we follow Fizz, who is very irritated at Blitzø's presence, there's no proof of Mammon being a bad boss. Fizz was insecure about his appearance, from a recent injury and the accident all those years ago which we were reminded of throughout the episode, in addition the pageant was a major source of stress as he had to do well, he had been holding the title of champion for a decade, who wouldn't be stressed?

Let's not forget that he also doubted Ozzie's love for him believing it to be down to his popularity.

Let's not forget his stalker who has been obsessed with him since he was still at home.

But we are used to seeing fun.

Ozzie, Bee and Mammon all hosted a big bash when we met them, they were all working, their guests made a choice to be there and their events were the place to be, only this time we got the employees perspective, think for those who work at restaurants, bars and nightclubs where the patrons enjoy themselves, it's not so fun on the other side and it's often the nepo folks who include lovers that have an easier time.

Work ain't fun most of the time.

Lastly.

Why was Mammon not allowed to be mad after allowing himself to be publicly roasted to a large crowd on his stage before having his greedy supply cut off, why would it be of any surprise that he would react? Bee and Ozzie were had no issues intimidating Loona, Mille and Moxxie for disrespecting them on their turf.

When is it OK to proudly display and endorse control and bullying? When you're loved or lovable?

We have enjoyed a dark comedy built on power play and sarcasm, so what does it take to make these serious problems in the real world problematic? Someone who isn't there to be liked?

This is good writing.

There are too many writers involved to not know what they're doing. They are active online and the fanbase is rampant with their blind loyalty to the show and the character invested in by giving them simple brownie points. Too many wouldn't believe that I enjoy this series and like all the characters mentioned.

Mammon was created to out and troll the the fanbase.

#helluva boss #helluva mammon #helluva boss fandom #helluva boss critical #but i like it #double standards #You are being played #long post #sorry english is not good #hear me out

[demonslayedher]

Things that went through my mind while watching this episode:

--I think this was the episode that converted a lot of people who were on the fence about Uzui, that scene with Hinatsuru is just so tender that people cannot help but feel for him. The way they animate his fingers moving as Hinatsuru talks because their resting on her chin is such a nice detail. And then we get him pumped back up by the good news that he's found one of his wives alive, and we get that skid and change in direction the roof. So good!! So cool!!

--On that note, I'm just going to jump to the end of the episode because this episode was a very flashy Uzui sandwich. I think that given that we see Makio & Suma more often interacting with each other and Hinatsuru steals the spotlight for drama gives people the impression that she's the favorite or something like that, which makes me a bit sad because I read him as loving and cherishing all of them in different but egalitarian ways. All three are his most important treasures, and unfortunately we see Makio & Suma's immature sides come out most around him, and he seems to baby them in a way different from how he treats Hinatsuru like more of an equal (even though we see in this opening scene that she still speaks like someone subservient to him--that ninja training runs deep). Makio, though, I like that we get her flashback, as it brings out a very different, contemplative, sometimes anxious side of her character which keeps her from just being the hot-blooded one or something like tat. It's not a side she can show to just anyone, but someone as mature as Hinatsuru can draw it out. Suma, though? Let her be a simple bimbo. I love her. She's my favorite. She's adorable and I never get tired of seeing her crying as she tears a kunai through the obi.

--Right! That end of the episode! Uzui's grand entrance and twirling the swords around just to show off (he and Shinobu may relate to each other more than they think), and the perfect placement of a catchphrase. Fine!! Yes!!! I like the catchphrase now!!! I hated it more than anything at the Pillar Meeting, but yes, YES, GIVE ME UZUI TENGEN-SAMA!!!!

--Back to Tanjiro!! I forgot how long this one-on-one fight with Daki took and accidentally queued up my Nezuko reblogs too early. Nezuko is still just hanging out in her box as Tanjiro turns off the Water Breath and turns on the Hinokami Kagura and flashbacks enough to the last four months to show us that he's been working at using it better--and that he's realized his limits to Water Breath. In general, I find these flashbacks to totally unbeforeseen content in the mist of battle distracted and generally not good writing advice for how it cuts into the flow of a scene, but I have also totally come to accept this as a signature piece of KnY's storytelling style. And we aren't even done yet with Tanjiro's flashbacks for this solo battle against Daki! With all these reflections, though, it's really nice to get that foreshadowing for more Haganezuka content, especially Daki's accusation that Haganezuka isn't much of a swordsmith (and he faces criticism too), and Tanjiro's insistence that it's him abusing the sword. He has always fully believed that everything that happened to his swords is his own fault for using them roughly. (And gosh, that context and comparison against someone who uses Water Breath damn near perfectly makes it all the more startleing how Akaza will later very easily break Giyuu's sword in two.) Speaking of swords, BOYS WITH SWORDS!!! BOYS PLAYING WITH SWORDS!!! Zenitsu handling his sword in a context other than the brief moments he's using Thunderclap and Flash, placing it on the ground the way you're supposed to, so unlike Inosuke who doesn't care for proper sword use whatsoever. Thank you, Ufotable!! Thank you for this filler!!

--Speaking of foreshadowing, if Tanjiro's already been maintaining fever over days at a time this whole time, this gives us lots of juicy stuff to analyze about his mark. Perhaps can interpret the damage done to the human body (and the reason all those Sengoku demon hunters died by the age of 25) as being due to the sudden increase in temperature and heart rate, but with Hinokami Kagura techniques, Tanjiro's been able to find a more sustainable way of doing it so his body is more prepared to draw on that power. I wonder, then, did he subconsciously start to do this during the Final Selection, and that's why the scar changed? Also, I believe that Tanjuro's general weakness is do to long-term sustained damage of performing Hinokami Kagura imperfectly, in a way that put stress on his body before he mastered the proper Breathing technique. Which is all to say, it makes me ponder that Tanjiro may have more years than he's assumed to, but he probably will decline in a similar way as his father.

--BUT HEY ALSO, there's imperfect knowledge and hearsay passed down from the Sengoku era about how, like, "swordsmen with black swords can't advance (because they got kicked out)" so maybe that "dead by 25" thing was a matter of looking at patterns and also counting all the guys who happened to get killed in battle? And sure, maybe enough of them dropped dead to lead to conclusions??? I'm looking for whatever hope we can for Giyuu and Sanemi, let me dig with a tiny spoon as I like.

--Anyway! We also get this beautiful, "moyase… moyase… kokoro o moyase!!!" line from Tanjiro. Yes, please.

--And all this reflection from Tanjiro about how he won't allow anyone else to go through the pain that he and other members of the Demon Slayer Corps have with losing people to the violence of demons. That's great, Tanjiro, but you're about to witness a huge failure to do so.

--Ok… so… Inosuke's scene going Homer Simpson through that tunnel is… not one of my favorites. I appreciate that he and the obi found each other mutually gross. Go ahead, keep calling her the Worm Woman, Inosuke. You're the worm, though.

--THAT MOMENT INOSUKE KICKS HIS SWORDS TO HAVE THEM BOOMERANG BACK INTO HIS HANDS, IT'S SO FLASHY, I CANNOT

--This scene down in the food cellar reminds me of the Chinese idiom, "The Eight Immortals Cross The Sea," meaning everyone shows up their individual talents and strengths. Here we've got Inosuke doing it, Makio & Suma doing it, Zenitsu doing it, and then The God of Festivities himself. So much flamboyant fun! That Zenitsu's upside-down twirl, my gosh, he's totally writing that into the Legend of Zenitsu.

--I love it when Inosuke realizes he's in over his head in battle, though. Recognizing he's in a tight spot because he can't fight the obi while also protecting the humans, and that if this isn't the actual body, then there will be no end to fighting there. It makes it so gratifying when Makio & Suma step in to help.

--Okay, but also to sandwich this post… Uzui is totally back in his proper flamboyant mode after being so happy to see Makio & Suma are alive and kicking--especially kicking butt. Relief seems to be a big part of it, but his wives truly are a source of strength and joy for him. Having reunited with all three of them, everything is once again right in his world and it's time to do the butt-kicking in his own flashy way!!

#kny rewatch #my art #uzui tengen #uzui hinatsuru #uzui makio #uzui suma

[amostimprobabledream]

Thoughts of The Boys (2019) Season Two *SPOILERS*

I didn't enjoy this season as much as Season One, I have to admit. Not that it was BAD, but it took a lot longer to settle into itself - the first two episodes were kind of boring in comparison to Season One's.

Honestly like, Billy's rampaging over Becca is probably meant to be sweet or misguided or whatever but I just found it fucking annoying. Like she ain't worth it, Billy. She never was. Your friends are so much more fun, fleshed out and interesting. Also I couldn't help but think that Billy didn't really deserve to have Becca back - after how horribly he treats his friends, kills people when it's convenient to his goals and gaslights and manipulates everyone (especially Hughie and MM) if he thinks it will make them more amenable to his cause. He doesn't actually give a damn about Robin or MM's family and it annoys me nobody calls him out on how selfish he is.

Stormfront = Stormcunt. I already knew she was a Nazi before going into the season but I wouldn't have liked her even if she wasn't one, she's one of those people who's like, "Whaaat? I'm just being honest!" when actually she's just an obnoxious bitch. Though I maintain Kimiko deserved to be the one to kill her.

Any scene with Homelander, Ryan and Becca I had to pause because the secondhand embarrassment was TOO MUCH. Honestly seeing Homelander trying to act like a person is almost more unsettling than when he's just being his deranged lunatic self. (Also, Ryan and Becca were so fucking BORING. Any scene with Becca was like watching paint dry - she just exists to be a victim Billy wants to save and that's it. Any scene with them was making me want to scream with how slow it is. I'm glad she won't be in Season 3, because why should I give a shit about Becca and her boring relationship melodrama with Billy? They try so hard to make her cool and sorry but it doesn't work. And Ryan's even worse, no shade to his actor but some child character who's scared of using his own superpowers is also pretty dull.)

Maeve is also super, super boring. Like part of the fun of The Boys is the Supes are all inherently shitty people (except Starlight) but Maeve doesn't ever really DO anything. Nearly all her scenes are just her sitting around with a face like ":/" Like honestly, why the hell should I care about Maeve? What's her character progression? She doesn't seem to have one except her girlfriend dumped her. She's not interesting to me in any way, she's just kind of there. And even though she did kind of try to convince Homelander to save the people on the plane, but it annoys me the show doesn't hold her accountable for any of it - she's just like, "Wah wah, Homelander made me do it!" and thus she's off the hook for all of it, even though she acts like all those people dying is just a way to get Homelander off her back about Elena. All Maeve cares about is herself and her equally boring girlfriend. (Sorry Maeve fans, I don't think her being 'yaas bisexual queen' is enough to make her a good character. I guess her helping beat up Stormfront was cool but it's not really enough to make me like her.)

Once again, babygirl Starlight is the best. I was so happy to hear her calling Billy out on his shit - she's like the first person to tell him to his face he's a bigot. (I do wish they'd give her Season 1 costume back though, I feel so sorry for her actress constantly having her buttcheeks hanging out.)

Hughie continues to be so wholesome and sweet. He's really such a great character because he continuously manages to win people over and pull them together - I totally adored the scene where Billy and Starlight are basically just standing around gushing about how Hughie's great, because he absolutely earns all the praise. I was sitting there agreeing with them both wholeheartedly because Jack Quiad just sells the character so well. I'm glad we finally got some sort of explanation about where his mother is - I'm assuming she'll turn up later. (Also I find it amusing that all the way through Season One I thought Billy was meant to be an Aussie, but Hughie's dad is Simon Pegg, who IS British and just does an American accent. I guess American is just easier to do because we hear so much of it on TV.)

I'm happy we finally got some more exploration of MM and Frenchie because for the initial couple of episodes they kind of stood around in the background while Hughie was mad at Billy. In particular Frenchie's history and his complicated relationship with Kimiko got a bit more fleshing out, which it badly needed because up til this point it felt like they'd fallen into being a pseudo-couple pretty quickly. I also liked that MM's prissy mannerisms got some exploration too - I mean him having OCD didn't factor into much of the season but I'm glad that he got a bit of a spotlight episode because he didn't really make much of an impression on me in Season One.

What exactly are Black Noir's superpowers? It's never really explained what he can do - he seems to be unusually strong, durable and fast but it's not as obvious as it is with The Deep or A-Train. Anyway, I'm glad he got to do a bit more this Season than just stand around - he seems to overall have less autonomy than the other members of the Seven.

Anthony Starr is too fucking good at his job. I swear to god he sells Homelander in a way that's quite astonishing. Like, I know he's a murdering bastard of the highest calibre but GOD HE'S SO INTERESTING. When he awkwardly tries to be a good dad to Ryan? When he barely holds himself back from laser blasting an entire crowd just because one guy flipped him off? Astonishing. (Also I still can't help but feel a little bad for him. Like, nothing excuses what he does, but the more you learn about his fucked up childhood, the more you can pity that little boy who was forced to be the world's answer to Superman. Again, I know, Homelander is awful, but he wasn't born that way.) The final scene of him jerking off was kind of...huh? I have no idea what they were going for there.

Where the hell are they going with The Deep and his extremely weird subplot? And how many more marine animals are going to be mutilated for the sake of comedy? I felt so sorry for that whale but god help me it was pretty funny how the characters were running around with whale guts covering them for the rest of the episode. (I do already know about the octopus. RIP.)

I'm legit scared of Season 3 - what will they do next?!

#The Boys (2019) #Season Two #Hughie Campbell #Billy Butcher #Homelander #Annie January #Queen Maeve #Kimiko Miyashiro #Frenchie #Black Noir #Blogging #Spoilers

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

Hey there, I have a question. It may not have an easy answer, but it would mean a lot to me if you took the time to share your thoughts.

I love HotD and all of the amazing fanfic that has resulted from it. Obviously, the incest aspect of it is not for everyone, and is very squicky and off-putting to some folks, even if these are fictional characters. No HotD fic authors who write for the incest pairings, as far as I can tell, are condoning this behavior IRL or saying that this is appropriate content for minors, and most are VERY upfront with content warnings.

However, that being said, there’s a part of me that feels guilty for enjoying this kind of content. I am a survivor of sexual assault and I think of myself as a feminist, and yet it’s sometimes hard for me to reconcile that with also liking kinky stuff (including dubcon and impact play like slapping/choking/spanking) and consuming stories with taboo dynamics, such as incest. It seems like you feel similarly (I know you said that you do identify as a feminist, but I’m not making any assumptions about sexual experiences you may have had so please don’t take it that way), and I’d love to get your insight on this.

I feel like it’s mainly kink shaming/toxic modern purity culture that is making me feel weird/guilty about liking this type of content. Also, just fear of being judged or shamed - because there’s so much of that on the internet and just life in general. I’ve, admittedly, gone through phases where I was adamantly anti-kink and unlearning that behavior has been a long, hard journey, so maybe these complicated feelings are part of that? I would love to know if any of this resonates with you? If so, how have you worked through it? And any tips or insight for me?

Hey, nonnie!

Thank you so much for reaching out. I can see that you're struggling with some conflict over your enjoyment of House of the Dragon and its fandom, particularly as it pertains to the more taboo themes it explores. I'm going to do my best to articulate my thoughts here, so please forgive me if it doesn't come out quite right.

I definitely don't agree with the themes I explore in fanfiction as being the basis for a healthy and um, legal relationship in real life. There are a lot of red flags in the incestuous dynamics of House Targaryen, and ordinarily I would perceive incest in media as something abhorrent; for example, Cersei and Jaime Lannister just squicks me right out. I think the interesting thing here is that, at least for the Targaryens, incest is coded as normal - it's not viewed in-world as something immoral, but rather a facet of what it means to be Targaryen. I find that makes it more palatable, though I would still maintain in the real world that this is wrong.

I'm very sorry for what you've been through, and I hope you're doing okay. I can empathise with how difficult your experiences must have made enjoying this kind of content, though my own experience is a little different. I was raised by a very conservative family (not politically, strangely; more morally) that has gradually become more relaxed as I've gotten older. However, the damage had been done - for a very long time, I'd been taught the understanding that I should suppress all hints of sexuality, that experiencing non-platonic interest in someone/thing was distasteful and something to be made fun of, and this has really messed with my ability to seek out relationships as an adult. I've never dated, never had sex, because I'm so afraid of being perceived as 'lesser' for experiencing these sort of urges. I've done a lot of work on myself to come to terms with all this, and the process of unlearning it is slow - this fanfiction is kinda one of the ways I'm trying to let go.

As for the theme of incest and enjoying it in fanfiction - I think it's important to remember that most of the time, the draw isn't about comparisons to your own life. Liking a fantasy guy with blond hair fucking his young equally-blond niece doesn't mean you want to bang your own uncle or anything. I prefer to see it as a fascination with the dynamic. I once saw 'daddy kink' described by someone as a "power differential laced with care and affection", and you could argue that the uncle-niece connection is very similar here. We have an obviously dominant figure wielding authority over a submissive woman, but there's a safety net of love and tenderness that goes beyond sexual desire or romantic love. One could argue that those sorts of feelings are conditional, but a love for family is hard to break free of. There's comfort in that dynamic underpinning the kinkier scenarios such as dubcon or impact play/pain etc.; kind of a reassurance that no matter how far it goes, there's all these different bonds of care connecting the individuals together. TLDR: I feel like the fascination with incest in ASOIAF is more to do with the emotional security/safety than any innate desire to go around banging your own relatives.

For a long time, I too have been really ashamed by my fascination with those more overtly questionable kinks. I don't think it makes me any less of a feminist, though, because I recognise that my interest comes from a need to let go of my control. I constantly need to present myself as an assertive person because of my job or my age or the fact that I'm a woman in a patriarchal society where, if I don't advocate for myself, I'll be steamrollered. I'm not naturally assertive; it's exhausting. The idea that someone who genuinely cares for me could come in and relieve me of that for a while, take me out of my own head, is appealing. I'm so sick of keeping a lid on things, presenting myself as someone with a spine of steel, when all I really want is to be coddled and allowed to just exist free of expectations.

In terms of well, coming to terms with this, my biggest advice would be to be kind to yourself. You're not a horrible person for liking what you like, no matter what anyone says. And it's always good to consider this: what do you gain from shaming yourself for it? What is the value-add to your life? Because if the answer involves something to do with society, or 'normality', or morality, or anyone or thing other than you yourself, then that's not fair to you. You should be allowed to have an interest in themes and kinks that appeal to you, so long as that interest doesn't ultimately cross the boundaries of legality (i.e., I can like Daemon/Rhaenyra, but I'm NOT about to try and pursue my own uncle because ew).

I don't know if this helps at all, and I do sincerely hope I haven't brought up anything unpleasant or crossed any boundaries. But most of all, I just want you to take care of yourself - and remember that you aren't alone. If nothing else, there's plenty of fellow grotties on the interwebz here for you to find a community with; we're all here for you.

Thanks, nonnie.

#emwritesstuffsometimes asks

[onewomancitadel]

I always lie when I say it's my last post on something. The question of the structure of romance which either leads or ends with a kiss and love confession is really interesting to me because it's kind of taken as a foregone conclusion. A corollary of this might be the reveal of the murderer in the murder mystery. That's the direction the genre has to take because the entire point is figuring out the mystery and/or the realisation of feelings. This becomes a little dicey when talking about the various different romance genres and romance subplots (see more under my romance tag) especially because there are stories which expect the kiss to happen within the first act of the story, with physical intimacy and/or confession of feelings to happen therein, followed by a third act breakup and then reconcilliation.

I would personally view the slow burn as superior, but I think it's probably true that unlike the murder mystery, the payoff of romance can be a little more elastic. A lot of romance subplots will now skirt around build-up and then work to break up the pair as quickly as possible because it's hard to write romance well and believably (and the broader tropes of it are better understood than its actual substance) and since it's assumed couples in stable relationships are boring and/or hard to write for, the couple has to immediately be broken up. You see symptoms of this in the third act breakup which is basically necessitated for the dramatic payoff at the end when you don't have a slow burn on your hands.

Is the kiss and feelings confession the necessary third act payoff? I actually don't know. I think that this is something you could argue is contingent upon the story you're telling. There might be different, grander gestures, and equally it might just be worth considering what works for your characters. On the other hand I think that there is a reason structural rules like these exist because it gives form to the genre and after all, romantic relationships are defined by their beginning... on the other hand, what about their middle? That is actually hard to write, for what it's worth, and to maintain tension. Tension is key.

What immediately comes to mind for me, in the murder mystery comparison, is The Secret History, which is a reverse murder mystery. That it's possible to write something I would view as being pretty tightly genre constrained in a unique way (certainly not in a common way) suggests something, at a bare minimum, interesting about the expected conventions of something you'd ordinarily expect unswayable. Of course, what's unique is that it's a reverse of the murder mystery because of who commits what and why, and its structure is grounded in Greek tragedy. By contrast, romance doesn't have such distance between its agents (the detective can be swapped with the murderer and radically alter things) which really would mean it's little more than a perspective swap. But maybe the question lies less in that and more to do with, what is the fundamental question I'm asking about how their relationship ought to evolve? What does it narratively realise? Of course - the one question you need to answer - what's keeping them apart?

But I think the more urgent address when it comes to romance is its character- and plot-intelligibility, less so its trope-laden points and structural necessities. It's pretty natural that the feelings confession - in whatever form that takes, whether that is actually verbal or not - and the kiss happening on the terms of the needs of the characters will guide you in the right direction anyway. I also especially want romance to be present at every point, believably, in that character's emotional world - not cordoned off to the kiss or the feelings confession - I want them to be thinking and feeling in a realistic way, according to the way they would (character-wise) express those feelings. So the confession is less about strict verbalisation, and more about the communication of the characters and what's keeping them apart and what isn't now. It all comes back to mechanical questions.

#on romance once again #a series of posts about the kiss #requisite the secret history is not pretentious literature. to me. and the point is that beauty without substance is evil #dark academia STEALING and MISUSING one of my favourite books to fuck with me

[seventeenlovesthree]

Corrupted heart, part II. [part I]

#my doodles #sora takenouchi #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 2020 #i needed to take my mind off of everything so i decided to draw #and since tomorrow will be a sora centric episode i had to do this #i maintain that the comparison doesn't work for all characters equally #i'd say that it works best for taichi and sora respectively #since taichi had to deal with so much trauma and partly collapsed under it whereas 2020!taichi was just like yolo #and sora struggles with her sense of obligation and what exactly her love means for her #whereas 2020!sora just embraces everything easily #i may do koushirou and yamato but the rest would definitely have to go down differently #heck even koushirou doesn't work the same way

[basketballandtextbooks]

Speaking of analyses, what's your interpretation of Kenny? (I feel like he's the one character that really doesn't get talked about in the same manner as other characters. Sure, he gets praised often for being a good boi and there's discussions/theories of his curse, his homelife, sex... But as far as him as a WHOLE, as a person, I don't tend to see that a lot. I think that's why his fanon interpretations feel like a disconnection: He's quiet, his hood being down doesn't mean he'll "talk more")

To even begin delving into all of the aspects of Kenny’s personality, we’ll first have to divide up subsections to how he behaves in certain circumstances, ascertain his motives for doing so, and then finally combine all of that information into a cohesive assessment of his thoughts, feelings, and agendas. And as a bonus, I’d like to discuss how these traits would most likely change and develop over time.  All that said, I just really like his character so instead of doing all that fancy essay work, I’m just going to babble about him. We’ll start with what is both the most and least important aspect to Kenny; his relationship with death.

Death has haunted Kenny for his entire life so far as we, the viewers, are able to tell. The current in-series explanation for his ceaseless bouts of death involves his parents in a cthulhu cult before he was even born. The details here are vague, but the implication that leaves us with is that this is a lifelong affliction. Flashbacks as early as preschool support this theory as we’ve seen Kenny die in a firecracker accident back then. Kenny’s feelings towards death are made clear in several lines and yet more nonverbal cues. He’s scared of death. It’s painful and he hates it. Even knowing he’ll come back, or at least assuming he’ll come back, that doesn’t stop him from screaming, running, crying out, hiding, and outright declaring how painful and unpleasant he finds death. This at least tells us one thing about Kenny’s personality going forward that will be important to understanding further aspects: He hates pain. He’s had plenty of pain, pain beyond what a normal person could ever imagine, and he hates it. One conjecture we can make from this knowledge is he’s extremely unlikely to self-harm in a violent or painful way, such as cutting or punching himself. He has shown a brief interest in pain for sexual pleasure though, as seen with his stint of asphyxiation for masturbation. The attempt killed him but we never get a follow up on whether or not he found it enjoyable, therefore it can be read as either “Kenny enjoys pain for pleasure, specifically asphyxiation” or “Kenny tried pain for pleasure once and as it resulted in his death, he doesn’t want to do it again” or “Kenny will try anything sexual at least once”. Among these readings, the third is most likely the most accurate while the first two can be entirely up to the opinion of the interpreter. They have equal canonicity behind them.

His hatred of death and pain has led him to become bitter and angry towards the people around him on many occasions. For example, when Kyle was dying Kenny was incapable of feeling sympathy for Stan’s sadness over it when Stan was so consistently apathetic towards his own death. It’s clear that Kenny doesn’t want Kyle to die and cares about the well-being of all of his friends (sacrificing his life for them on many occasions) but it was particularly painful to listen to Stan talk about how sad he was that a friend of his was dying in the hospital. If we pay attention to the timeline, this happens before Kenny dies in the hospital and Stan refuses to visit him, which would solidify every feeling of resentment he felt when Stan was worried over Kyle. During that time, Stan had had no trouble visiting Kyle in the hospital so from Kenny’s perspective, Stan just didn’t care. Still, he clearly cares for Stan and his other friends which is why we hear the repeated “Where’s Stan?” that breaks our hearts every damn time. It’s worth noting that Kenny has a teddy bear in the hospital that is never seen before or since, it’s very likely a bear from the hospital gift shop given to him by one of his visitors. So either Chef, his parents, or Kyle bought him the bear. A personal favorite headcanon of mine is that Kevin stole the bear for him but there is absolutely no evidence to support that hypothesis. Logically the culprit is either Chef or Kyle, considering the McCormick’s money troubles, and it would be very in character of Sheila to insist he buy something for his friend at the gift shop. Another thing to note is that Kyle is the only one of his friends, aside from Cartman, who visits him in his hospital room. Butters sends a card and there are visible gifts that build over time. We know for a fact during the episode where Kyle was dying that the teacher would have the students make cards for a sick classmate, so the card and gifts are most likely a byproduct of that. It is worth noting that while Kenny was dying such a slow and painful death, Kyle was the only one who was able to stay at his side. Stan found it too painful to watch him die and Eric was off on his mission to ‘save’ Kenny. I believe this impacted the way Kenny viewed his friends in the future, distancing himself from Eric and opening up to Stan less and less. His relationship with Kyle remains dubious and the other kids in his class he keeps an emotional distance between.

One cannot address the issues of this episode without also delving into the issues regarding the length of his death and revival. It’s implicit in the show that Kenny has no idea how long he will be dead for, a few hours or a few years, and there is very little consistency in how he is revived. Most frequently he revives via a literal rebirth (one notable instance of this causing his mother to have a miscarriage), but he’s also had instances of reviving back into his own corpse or literally appearing out of thin air. This leads us to the explanation that he doesn’t know how long he’ll be dead, where he’ll go, or how he’ll revive. This loss of control in his life causes him to put a significant distance between himself and anyone he might care about, for fear that his condition would ruin any chances of maintaining the relationship.

This is especially apparent in his complicated relationship with Cartman (which we will address in more detail later). During his extended period of death, Cartman was the driving force in finding a ‘Kenny replacement’ and Kenny’s self-proclaimed BFF. Both Stan and Kyle joined these attempts cheerfully, but Cartman was the most determined. He tried with both Tweek and Butters, succeeding in finding a best friend in Butters and making Butters an on-again-off-again addition to the ‘main four’ while also maintaining a close (and complicated) friendship to Cartman. Butters was compared to Kenny on several occasions during this transition and showed both agitation and resentment over the comparison. Eventually putting Kenny up on a pedestal as someone ‘great’ because of all the times the guys assured him that “Kenny would do it if he were here”.

It’s worth noting that the two individuals within canon who clearly and canonically remember Kenny’s deaths are Cartman and Timmy. While an explanation for Timmy’s knowledge is still left up in the air, there are a few potential explanations for Cartman’s retained memories. One explanation that I normally prescribe to is that Cartman has Kenny’s eyes and by taking a body-part of Kenny’s, he can now see Kenny’s deaths. This explanation isn’t perfect, as Cartman showed signs of understanding Kenny’s condition prior to that episode, but its one potential explanation. Understanding his condition could have been a basis for the initial development of their friendship or it could have been a secret shared when they were still close that Eric was naïve enough to believe. Although, Eric’s understanding of Kenny’s condition could very easily be an explanation for his own apathy towards other people's deaths (like how he murdered Scott’s parents). Ever since he could remember, his best friend had died and come back, at the age of 8 or 9, how could he possibly have a complete understanding that Kenny’s case wasn’t normal. He could have very well expected Scott’s parents to return the next day the same way Kenny did. While it’s also possible he committed those murders knowing full well that their deaths were permanent, it is still hard to believe that he’d even be capable of taking death seriously after seeing Kenny die so many times.

Continuing further, Kenny’s fear of death does not make him cowardly, quite the contrary. Some stand out sacrifices that he made while scared would be during the meteor shower trilogy (he owed nothing to those people and still gave his life to protect them) and during the hunt for Eric’s parentage, sacrificing his life to save the hospital. He was scared both times and they were ultimately selfless acts. What makes them stand out even more though is how dependent his friends were on him during both instances. They had full and complete faith and trust that Kenny would save the day. Even without cognitively remembering Kenny’s condition, they still trust him with their lives and know he’s the sort of person who would save them.

It’s very likely that this is a reason that Kenny grew into a more and more protective person as the seasons go by, in a way this faith that he’d save them is some of the purest positive feedback he gets from his asshole friends. Whether intentional or not, there was a part of Kenny and his friends who viewed him as a protector above all else. These sorts of implicit expectations can really affect a person’s development. It is most likely due to a combo of this aforementioned expectation and Kenny’s growing cynicism about his own deaths, that he accepts the role so whole-heartedly.

Kenny has a strong association with drugs from early seasons, where rumors of him sniffing paint were prevalent and an instance of him snorting alien coke occurred. His hedonistic personality and inability to die seemingly leading him to believe that he was invincible. And therefore he doesn’t need to worry about the negative effects of recreational drug use. This all changed after the events of major boobage. It should be evidence alone that by the end of major boobage, all rumors about Kenny and drugs ended and he was never again referenced to indulge in recreational substances, especially considering their earlier prevalence, but the series goes even further to show us that he not only got clean, stayed clean, but has developed a dislike for recreational and addictive substances.

Kenny would never do recreational drugs of any kind as a teen or adult and he is unlikely to drink alcohol either. It is very likely he dislikes weed, meth, and beer in particular. Kenny exhibited addictive behavior during Major Boobage and he was addicted to cheesing. However at the end of Major Boobage, Kenny stated firmly that he did not want to be addicted, would quit immediately, and he decided firmly to avoid drugs henceforth. His entire character arc for the episode was learning that he did not like the recreational use of drugs. It’s interesting that the fans interpret this episode as proof he would do drugs considering the entire plot of the episode was about his character growth in that specific regard. It’s like watching an episode where Stan learns to accept his gay dog and saying he will always be homophobic and never change because he started the episode not accepting his gay dog. It’s boggling.

However it is worth noting that Kenny relapsed at the very end of the episode by 'getting high on life'. While this could be evidence that he’d ‘never’ get clean (again disregarding all other evidence to the contrary) but it actually shows something that is quite telling for his ability to stay sober. His friends were quick to help him and pull him back from it. This alludes to him continuing to have support from friends and family during recovery. Recovery is a hard and difficult thing that is nearly impossible without a support network. This is a shockingly optimistic moment when understood through the lens of how difficult it is to fight for sobriety.

However the evidence that Kenny has chosen to stay clean doesn’t stop there. Aside from all rumors about him sniffing paint and other implications dying down all together, we have an extremely telling scene with his parents in a later season. During the superhero trilogy Mysterion startles his parents while they are getting high (specifically on weed). His parents state, fearfully, that Mysterion has been threatening them to stay off drugs and attempt to hide the pot from him, knowing he wouldn’t approve. This is telling in a few ways but one that is significant is that Kenny hated his parents' use of drugs, including ‘harmless drugs’ such as marijuana so much that he would go as far as to threaten them. We very rarely see an outright aggressive or threatening Kenny and we almost never see him show any ill will towards his family. Kenny is shown over the course of the series to be very fond of his family. His hatred of recreational drug use would have to be quite intense for him to go as far as to threaten his parents. The implied subtext of this scene is that Kenny considered what they were doing to be an extremely bad thing. So bad that he would threaten people he loves enough to terrify them that badly. This shows that since the Major Boobage episode, Kenny's attitude towards drugs has definitely grown negative. Moreso, the threat of staying off drugs was paired with the threat to ‘treat their children better’, leaving the heavy implication that he views those two as linked.

Even further evidence provided for Kenny’s continued sobriety and dislike of recreational abuse of addictive substances. During The Poor Kid, when Kenny was out of options with his foster family, he resorted to providing them with alcohol. Showing that he firmly believes that the best way to destroy people is to give them addictive products like alcohol. Further evidence that he feels negatively towards the drugs and alcohol. It’s played off as a joke in the episode but it’s clear that Kenny has strongly associated alcohol with destroying people.

Despite drugs and alcohol playing a major role in several plot lines that follow, Kenny is never shown to have an interest in them. As stated above, in early seasons he’d happily snort alien coke and now he never so much as approaches drugs positively. It’s extremely indicative that this change and interest in sobriety is long-lasting.

Finally we also see Kenny joining Stan's band that he created out of frustration with his situation on Tegridy Farms. Stan has grown to hate weed and what it represents and it is currently causing his family life to be much worse than usual. Kenny, as shown in episodes like The Scoots, loves his friends a lot Stan included. Watching his friend in so much pain can only cause him to view the substance as even worse. It is very likely that while they were working on the band and practicing he heard Stan's complaints as well. Kenny is actively watching as marijuana tears the Marsh family apart. He also watched Stan’s struggles with alcoholism and Stan’s fathers struggles with addiction as yet further examples of how these substances can destroy lives.

During TFBW game, there is a drug subplot that Mysterion actively works to put a stop to. Again, never once part-taking in drugs and actively fighting against their spread in his city. It doesn’t get any more blatant that that. Kenny is far more likely to join the DEA than he is to get high behind the gym. Kenny would never indulge in recreational drug use, specifically meth, weed, and beer, because of his experience watching them ruin families and strain friendships. As well as his own experience with drugs when he decided that he did not want to live that kind of lifestyle.

There’s a bit more evidence that delves into the realm of headcanon, but it is a logical extension of deductive reasoning based on the canon content we are provided with so I will include it as well. We know that Kenny and Satan developed a friendly relationship during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. We also saw Satan give Stan a very simplified and child friendly lecture on addiction, as though he’d given the same lecture before. While there is no evidence of this, it isn’t a stretch to imagine the person he’d previously helped through their addictive tendencies was Kenny.

To be clear, this isn’t an anti-drug PSA. I don’t care what characters do or don’t do drugs, this is merely establishing that for Kenny specifically with the character arc he’s had, it is very unlikely and borderline insulting to his struggles for sobriety. However Kenny’s connections to drugs also open up some interesting relationship details as well.

During the major boobage episode in particular all of his friends join forces to get Kenny clean, Kyle in particular spear-heading the effort. Stan was there and Butters was there but neither showed as much passion or commitment for assisting Kenny’s progress to sobriety as Kyle did. Even putting his own neck on the line by hiding a cat in his room (with Sheila Broflovski as a mother, is he suicidal?). It’s yet another case, like with the Kenny Dies episode, where all his friends offer very passive support and Kyle offers a very aggressive and consistent support. It’s shown a pattern thus far of Kyle feeling in some way responsible for Kenny’s wellbeing. Which could be explained by a few things, Kyle’s obsessive and passionate personality or perhaps he feels subconsciously guilty for all the times he’s left Kenny for dead. Really we have no way of knowing why he’s doing this but we do know he’s starting to develop a pattern of protectiveness towards Kenny. What’s even more interesting is during both instances Kenny is too far gone to notice. During Kenny Dies he’s frequently asking for Stan and during this episode he’s angry and belligerent that Kyle is taking away his high. Making both tasks thankless endeavors on Kyle’s part (which is also a little unusual because Kyle loves to be praised for his hard work). Kenny’s relationship with Eric is at a low during this episode, Eric caring more about cats than his old BFF and Kenny now knowing that Eric won’t even make an emotionally dishonest attempt to be there for him. I would be interested to see how Kenny in specific felt about Eric facilitating the drug trade during TFBW considering his sobriety and the fact that Eric was never there for him through it. Butters and Stan just don’t stand out as particularly good or bad friends during this episode, they’re just sort of there and listening to Kyle’s instructions. 

However, it’s worth noting that when there were rumors about Kenny getting high in early seasons, Eric was a mentioned accomplice, which makes it even more interesting to think about how Kenny’s sobriety might have solidified the growing rift between the two. Perhaps they used to be the kind of friends who got high behind the gym together and now Kenny won’t and Eric thinks he’s a pussy with sand in his vagina. It’s just an interesting nugget of characterization to explore. How specifically did Kenny’s sobriety impact his relationship with Eric? It’s an engaging question I wish more fans would ask because I would love to see the potential answers and hypotheses’. It’s also worth noting that after Stan’s own struggles with sobriety and addiction in later seasons, it’s possible that Kenny could have become Stan’s sponsor or perhaps that the two of them connect over this unique struggle in their lives that their other friends wouldn’t have as complete an understanding of.

There’s a lot and a little to be said about Kenny and his relationship to his siblings. The clearest picture we get of his relationships with them is his obsessive protectiveness of Karen, even going so far as to deny her own wants and needs (as seen in the TFBW dlc) in order to protect her from all perceived danger. Even if the danger is as mundane as ‘being lame’. But to get a better idea of his relationship with his siblings, I’d like to start from the beginning.

Namely, before Karen even existed within the narrative. In the early seasons with Kevin and Kenny as the only two McCormick children, we see a passive and friendly relationship (a stark contrast to the Marsh family siblings). Kevin does nothing aggressive towards his brother and he is seen peacefully playing with Kenny as well. While this does not make it impossible that Kevin isn’t a friendly sibling, from the context we see him in for the early seasons, there’s no reason to assume he isn’t a kind older brother to Kenny.

Which brings us to the impossibility of Karen’s birth. As stated above, Kenny revives most frequently through rebirth and he dies far too frequently to allow Carol a successful pregnancy.  And we know that, to Kenny’s knowledge, he was the youngest McCormick child during the episode that confirmed he gives his mother miscarriages. He tried to give her a miscarriage before doing so on accident, hating the idea of having a younger sibling more than anything.

This is something that also lends to the idea that Kevin is a kind older sibling and that he is fond of his parents, regardless of their flaws. It’s explicit within the episode that Kenny doesn’t want a younger sibling because he doesn’t want to share that love. He wants Kevin to spoil him and his parents to spoil him and he doesn’t want to lose that to someone younger and cuter. Perhaps his attachment to being spoiled could be because he’s so relied upon by his friends as a protector that he is loath to lose the one type relationship he has in his life that places him as someone to be protected rather than doing the protecting. This is conjecture, but it would make sense with the characterization we’ve seen thus far.

But how did Karen come into being? The ongoing theory in fanon is that she was born during the year Kenny was dead and his friends replaced him but going through the aging timeline, it’s unlikely he was dead a full year (more likely only a few months) and even if the timeline matched up, Karen is six years old when she is first introduced, only 3 years younger than Kenny. Which means she had to have been born long before this incident. Another ongoing theory is that she’s adopted or a foster child, but those are relatively unlikely as well. The McCormick household has a fucking meth lab in the back yard. There is no adoption agency that is going to give them a child. And this theory ignores her clear resemblance to both Kevin and Stuart.

This is why I believe the most likely source of Karen is through a third party and Stuart. There are no adoption hoops to jump through if Stuart is her biological father and it explains the familial resemblance. It’s not difficult to believe Carol would accept her as her own due to how desperately she wanted another child.

As for how Karen was conceived, that’s up for interpretation. She could have been a product of infidelity or a case of someone else carrying her for the McCormick’s as Carol is effectively baron. I will say that Stuart’s infidelity is more likely purely because of the age. If they’d asked someone to carry Karen to term for them, Karen should have started living with them when Kenny was three and yet, she doesn’t join the family until the age of six. There could be a myriad of reasons for this that can be left entirely up to the interpretation of the viewer but the only logical way for Karen to exist as she does is that she is Kenny’s half sister.

When Karen showed up, Kenny clearly grew immediately attached and began to mature quickly. Taking part in less shenanigans, taking responsibility for her well-being, protecting her from bullies, playing with her in his free time. Kenny didn’t want to be an older brother but when push came to shove, he accepted the responsibility whole-heartedly and fully embraced his younger sister. Even more meaningfully, he didn’t care about whether or not she was fully blood related and treated her as a sister just the same. It’s possible one of the reasons he didn’t see any need for blood to create familial ties is growing up with Kyle and Ike nearby and knowing that it wasn’t blood that made them brothers. It’s also possible that he just has too much integrity to treat her as anything less than his baby sister.

One thing that should be noted about children Kenny’s age is modeling. Children, especially under the age of ten, are extremely susceptible to the behavior modeled for them. For example, children who have older siblings who mistreat them are far more likely to mistreat their own younger siblings. It’s a monkey-see, monkey-do time of life. Therefore I would like to present with this as my evidence that Kevin was just as kind and protective as Kenny is to Karen. He’s at an age where he models what he sees around him, treats others how he is treated. The other sibling relationships he’s close to is Kyle and Ike, which while loving took awhile and is significantly less overtly affectionate at times, and of course the Marsh siblings who have an overtly negative relationship until very recently in canon.

Meaning it’s possible he modeled how to treat a younger sibling after how Kyle treats Ike but it’s difficult to imagine him playing kick the baby with Karen. It’s more likely that he grew up with a protective older brother who spoiled him and he is now passing down the behavior that he received.

In short the McCormick siblings have a complicated but interesting relationship. There’s a lot to be said about how while Kenny was being conceived (with Stuart and Carol constantly getting high at a cult and subsequently arrested) that Kevin was only three years old and he wouldn’t have been able to fend for himself at this time. He might have attached onto Kenny so strongly out of loneliness over the severe neglect his parents subjected him to.

It’s worth mentioning that one place Kenny remains determined to indulge is with his hobbies, specifically with magic the gathering, his psp, and nascar. Kenny has for the majority of his characterization been defined by his hedonism. Doing what felt good, when it felt good. It’s why he has such a striking and intriguing character arc over the course of the series. Going from a pure hearted and selfless hedonist (an interesting combo in itself) into a more mature and more reserved individual who denies himself those simple easy pleasures (such as drugs).

But he still has a desire for escapism and so he pursues his hobbies with a passion and protective zeal that can be alarmingly violent. He doesn’t just love his hobbies and desire to indulge in them, but he also wants them to be respected and he despises a mockery being made of them. He doesn’t just enjoy them, he becomes masters at them. He pours all of his passion into being an amazing Magic player, into achieving the highest score in his favorite game, into murdering the one who mocked Nascar.

Wait, that last one doesn’t quite belong. We’re going to put a pin in that one for further exploration in the Cartman section, but it’s worth mentioning that his passion for that sport is so intense that he would be willing to commit murder. While the characters in South Park are outright murderous by nature, Kenny is one of the least homicidal in town (it’s a relative term) and as such, his turn to homicidal rage in defense of his hobby is notable.

He knows Cartman, he knows this is probably a phase and Cartman will get over it, if it was any other circumstance he’d probably be laughing his ass off at home that Cartman was making an idiot of himself on live TV and driving a vagisil car while eating the cream. It’s objectively hilarious and something that Kenny would normally have laughed at and moved on. He’s shown discomfort with Cartman’s escapades before but he’s never taken it so personally. Even when it was a direct attack against Kenny.

There is a part of Kenny that just can’t tolerate his hobbies being so openly mocked and made a sham of. Even during cock magic, he felt deeply uncomfortable with the spectacle the game he loved was turning into, doing everything he could in his limited capacity to continue to treat it seriously and play with integrity. Kenny loves his hobbies with a passion that we don’t see from him for much else.

One potential explanation for this is the emotional distance he has with other people that I alluded to before. He has a lot of love to give and a passionate personality but he dies. All the time. No one remembers, those that do only use his death for their own gain, and while he’s dead even his closest and dearest friends will attempt to replace him or actively resent him. People can replace him. People can betray him.

Playing cards? They have no autonomy. They can’t change after his death; they just wait for him in his room until his revival. Nascar? Sure, he might miss a few races but he can always catch up or just watch new content. Kenny has found an outlet for all the love that bubbles up inside of him that doesn’t rely on people who he’s learned to mistrust.

There is also something to be said about his addictive personality and it’s very possible that he uses his hobbies as a replacement for drugs. Indulging in healthier hobbies in an attempt to replace the ones he now views so negatively. A strong support of this theory is that before Kenny’s sobriety he was less passionate about hobbies and after his sobriety, he is clearly and consistently more obsessive about his hobbies. (further evidence of his continued sobriety, fucking fight me fanon. don’t even tell me you do it for the angst, a struggle for sobriety is way more angsty than a momentary high. ya’ll just want him to do drugs/alcohol because you do and you kin him.)

Kenny’s love for his hobbies is quickly becoming a defining trait but also it’s worth noting that his hobbies are social in nature. He didn’t pick up drawing or writing or origami, things he’s shown an interest for in early seasons, he picked up Magic and Gaming and Nascar, all three when indulged as hobbies are inherently social. You watch Nascar with people, you play Magic with people, especially in this day and age, you play videogames with people.

Even though he’s given up on connecting with people on a deeper level and puts a distance between himself and others, he still pursues hobbies that connect him to them. This indicates that he could still be trying to reach out to others and wants a deeper connection. But on his own terms. He doesn’t select hobbies that the others are already into to attract them to him, he’s pursuing hobbies he likes. Stubborn and selective boy. I haven’t listed all of his talents, skills, and hobbies here, mind you, just the ones relevant to my points (meaning I left out details about his passion for singing because that appears to be a natural talent and sports because he enjoys them but shows no real passion for them)

I’ve probably put off talking about his friendships for too long at this point but a part of me wanted to save this for last, as so much of what there is to say about his friendships with others is indicated in other segments. But the as this is an entirely unstructured attempt at explaining my thoughts and headcanons about Kenny McCormick, I don’t believe it matters the order I go in so here is an overview of his relationships with a few key individuals in his life.

We’re going to start with Kelly. Not because she’s the most influential or most important, but because her impact on his personality is striking in a way that I have to wonder why more people don’t address it. Prior to meeting Kelly he didn’t have as much resentment towards his friends over his condition and after meeting her, for reasons that will become obvious soon, the seeds of pain grow into something larger.

For those of you who are largely unfamiliar with her, she is Kenny’s first girlfriend. She developed an immediate attraction towards him and began to pursue him with a hesitant intensity. Kenny, as he does with most people who approach him so passionately, treats this with confusion and hesitance. She’s hyper logical, goes at her own pace, and treats the fact that Kenny would like her as a matter of course.

Her pursuit of Kenny isn’t what’s most notable but it is worth noting how he responds to someone pursuing him. It’s the confusion that strikes me the most, he’s not used to being treated like something special, and he doesn’t know how to reply. It’s a far cry from the smooth talking flirty Kenny of fanon. Kenny is far more likely to respond with hesitant interest, confusion, and eventual flustered flattery to a romantic pursuit based on how we’ve seen him respond in canon. This isn’t to say he couldn’t develop a more flirtatious personality with age, but it’s worth noting that within canon we don’t see a hint of that as of yet.

The impact that Kelly truly makes on Kenny’s personality isn’t a romantic one though. Although it is my belief that he will grow to view it and gestures like it as romantic ones in the future, but that’s a headcanon digression. Her contribution to his development is simple:

She saves his life.

While no one else would, no one else tried, no one else thought it was possible. It’s very likely that his friends all have a sense of subconscious learned helplessness in regards to Kenny’s death and therefore don’t fight it because, to them, it’s an inevitability and Kelly was only able to do this because she was not previously exposed to the multitude of Kenny deaths.

But the fact is that a person claimed to care about him, wanted to date him, and then when the worst thing about his life was going to happen again, she saved him. In this moment Kenny associated on some level caring about him to saving him. The fact that Kelly saved him meant she cared and by extension, the fact that no one else saves him or even holds him in his dying moments, means that they do not care about him.

Let’s return to that moment of lost empathy and sympathy when Stan was grieving Kyle’s illness. Perhaps on some level he’d just grown to understand that Stan wasn’t the sort to try helping his friends when they’re in mortal peril, made an exception that it’s not that Stan didn’t care, it’s just that Stan wasn’t the type to try saving another person’s life. Or grieve. Sure, it frames Stan as an awful person but to Kenny, Stan being an inherently cruel person was far less painful than the horrible knowledge that Stan did care. He just didn’t care about Kenny. In this moment he’s able to see the moment that Kelly saved him, because she cared about him, and all the moments that neither Stan nor his other friends even tried to save him. To add insult to injury, he dies right then and there and Stan still doesn’t care.

He’s left with the horrible implication that his worst fears about his friends are right. It’s not that they don’t remember because they can’t, it’s that they just don’t give a fuck about him. It’s terrifying, worse than even the prospect of a friend dying.

Which is another matter, as Kenny is semi-frequent in the underworld(s), it’s difficult for him to fully empathize with the idea of Kyle dying. Normally the terror of a loved one dying is that you’ll never see them again, but for Kenny it’s likely he’d still see Kyle every Tuesday. While he words to protect his friends and clearly loves his friends, when they’re lives are in peril like this, it’s sometimes difficult for him to empathize. He doesn’t want them to die but there’s a bitter part of him that’s unable to grieve if they do.

Kelly’s selfless and kind act, one that showed Kenny a moment of what it was like to feel loved, left such a terrible lasting impact that we can see seasons and seasons later. "ALL THE TIME! I die all the time! And you assholes NEVER remember!! Remember! Try and fucking remember!"

Now this can’t be entirely attributed to Kelly, obviously, but I think she’s an important contributing factor to his descent into bitterness that is entirely under-explored. And I also find the way he continues to pursue the relationship with her after she’s left back to her home state to be really telling about how loyal he is within a relationship. Even with his own financial and logistical issues in dating a person who lives so far away, he does his best to visit her whenever he can. She clearly meant a lot to him and it will forever taunt me that we never got an onscreen breakup. It’s also notable that he shows the same level of respectful loyalty to Tammy while dating her. This showcases a clear pattern of treating his significant others with kindness, patience, loyalty, and respect.

Now that I’ve spent ages talking about a girl most fans don’t even remember existed, let’s start in on Stan. Stan seems to hold a special importance to Kenny, it’s difficult to say exactly why (but I’m sure if I dig more I can find out) but moreso than Eric, Kyle, or Butters, Kenny seeks out Stan’s approval in one way or another. It’s very subtle, sort of a ‘blink and miss it’ thing but it can be blatant. The aforementioned moments regarding Kyle’s hospitalization and his own hospitalization. In more subtle moments, we can see Kenny gravitate towards Stan while Kyle and Cartman have their tiffs.

One possible explanation for his attachment to Stan is his horrified “oh my god, they killed Kenny!” frequently by the time Kyle has joined in with “you bastards!”, Kenny is already too dead to hear it. So it’s possible that he puts a lot of weight on their friendship because he views Stan as one of the few people who react to his death at all.

(I can’t help but wonder how gleeful Kenny must have felt that Stan chose his side during the Black Friday trilogy)

Regardless of the reason, Stan appears to be the one among them that Kenny has distanced himself the most from. He’s shown to be very compassionate in most situations but in later seasons when Stan is struggling, Kenny is frequently distant or unresponsive towards it. This seems to be mending in the most recent seasons, with episodes where it shows that they’re fond of one another but even then, there’s an undeniable rift. Despite being Stan’s friend for longer and what most would consider closer to him, during the band episode Stan interacted more with Butters and Jimmy than he did Kenny.

This is also possibly explained by Kenny’s under-explored shyness (something I don’t know if I’ll even get the chance to dig into because I’ve already been going on for so long and I’m barely through half of the things I want to talk about). But I believe that Kenny has put some emotional distance between himself and Stan due to the moments that led him to believe that Stan does not ‘care’. One example of this is during the Cthulhu trilogy, when he explodes in response to his friends questioning, he gets upset with Stan’s reactions but only explodes to Kyle’s, despite their questions being equally ‘offensive’. Perhaps he’s put up more emotional walls with Stan and he’s more prepared for him to be insensitive than he is with Kyle.

Kyle is a complicated relationship to define. On one hand they’ve both had moments of cool apathy towards one another (Kyle during ookie-mouth and Kenny during Cherokee Hair Tampons), although both of those situations are easily understood under the lens of the other stressors. Kyle claimed to “not care about Kenny” but it was only in response to being asked to spit in one another’s mouths. Kyle is a canonical germaphobe (in weirdly most regards other than poop, which he is strangely very comfortable with) and being asked to let someone else spit in your mouth would be trying even if you had no issue with germs. As for Kenny’s moment, as explained above, he was far more concerned with the implications of what it meant for his friendship with Stan at that moment. And not entirely unreasonably.

Kyle’s strange because despite not being Kenny’s closest friend by any stretch of the imagination, he’s been there for Kenny during most of his pivotal character moments in one capacity or another. In a way, Kyle is the one constant in his life. He holds Kenny as he dies in Wing, he stays by his side in Kenny Dies, he fights for his sobriety in Major Boobage, he invites him to become a Jew Scout in Jewbilee, helping him out in The Coon, there are weirdly numerous examples of their friendship and yet there is no explicit focus on it. It’s also worth noting that among all his friends, Kyle was the one Kenny chose to view the meteor shower with and this was during a time where he was still objectively closest to Cartman. And the same can be said for the Coon episode, Kyle was the one Kenny went to for help.

It’s difficult to define their relationship because while they have a strong pattern of a deep and supportive friendship, they also never even attempt to be one another’s ‘favorite’. Although Kyle does seem to be the most protective of Kenny among the main boys (this is of course only a relative, the bar is really low). For example, despite all the boys having lice in Licecapades, Kyle was the only one who came forward to save Kenny from the sock bath. It would take a whole other essay to fully dissect how their relationship works but to simplify it, it appears that they rely on one another.

During Jewbilee, Kyle has complete baseless faith that Kenny will save them. There’s no reason for this other than he just knows that Kenny will. Moses is captured, an all powerful figure, and Kyle still thinks his parka wearing little friend has got this covered. Conversely Kenny comes to Kyle when he needs help, like with Mysterion’s “You’re the smartest kid I know”. It’s just interesting how much they rely on one another and never make a big deal of it. Their friendship is based on an understated mutual trust.

Cartman on the other hand takes any and all trust, and throws it in the bin. If Kyle requires an essay to explain, Kenny’s relationship with Cartman needs a dissertation. That said, I’ll make an attempt to keep this short and to the point. Eric and Kenny do seem to at one point have shared a mutually beneficial friendship, with both of them liking Kyle and Stan more than they liked one another but still clinging to one another in a strange and desperate loneliness. One of the ways they bonded over the course of their friendship was a similar sense of humor. They both enjoyed crude and childish jokes more than either Kyle or Stan did and therefore they were able to indulge in them with one another. The trouble was that Eric had a malicious edge to his humor and Kenny did not. Eric was willing to take things farther than Kenny ever was, potentially purely to prove to the world that he would. A perfect microcosm of why this aspect of their friendship fell apart is found in How To Eat With Your Butt. They both found the ‘butt’ school picture to be hilarious in the beginning but when real people were looking for their son, Kenny dropped the joke immediately but Eric pushed further. These sorts of moments increased in frequency, leading Kenny to pity Eric above all else and Eric to both love and despise Kenny in equal measure.

Eric was still the person Kenny reached out to more than most people, like during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, but the strain on their friendship began to show more and more and then… Kenny died. Eric knows about Kenny’s deaths, possibly the entire reason he spent all his time trying to make a clone Shakey’s rather than actually saving Kenny’s life. But more time passed between this death than any other and Eric, who has abandonment issues but that’s a whole can of beans to explain, decided he needed to replace Kenny. The trouble was his first attempt, Butters, wasn’t the same. Neither was his second attempt in Tweek. And while Butters did eventually replace Kenny as Cartman’s ‘best friend’, it still wasn’t the same. Eric had lost that friendship for good and still longing for a taste of it, he’ll often still seek out Kenny’s opinion on things. Kenny meanwhile came back to life (we’re going to skip over the sharing a body possession arc, not because it isn’t relevant but because it’s just WAY too much to cover in a short span of time) and found that his best and worst friend had replaced him. In some ways it was a relief, being Cartman’s number 1 friend (especially when Cartman clearly wanted Stan and Kyle’s approval more) was never a great role. But at the same time, being replaced is never a pleasant feeling and it really bloomed that horrible terror that had begun to grow with Kelly and Stan. His friends don’t actually love him, he’s replaceable, they don’t need him. He begins to close off more and more through this and starts to focus his attention on spiting Cartman in small ways (like as Mysterion). He can’t help but be a little resentful and a little uncomfortable.

This discomfort can also explain a lot of why Kenny appears so uncomfortable around Butters during Going Native, not wanting to be called Butters’ best friend and not wanting to go on the trip with him to begin with. Overall Kenny seems to veer from apathetic to Butters to uncomfortable with him. There’s no single scene in the show where he actually seems to show any affection towards Butters. He was forced to go on the trip during Going Native, he had to listen to Butters call Nascar ‘stupid’ endlessly with Cartman, and he just… doesn’t spend time with Butters. They’re seen in the background together, but so are Clyde and Kenny or Annie and Kenny. This isn’t to say Butters has had no impact on his life, but even when he’s on a trip to Hawaii with Butters, he spends his free time writing letters back to his friends or hanging out at a bar alone instead of spending it with Butters. Butters does seem to hold a certain level of affection for Kenny though, whether this is due to Cartman’s influence (the constant comparisons that put Kenny one pedestal as the ‘best’ kind of friend) or due to an actual affection for Kenny, that’s up for debate. I lean towards the former because it’s more consistent with Butters’ overall characterization and it also gives the progression of their relationship a… progression. In the latter interpretation Butters’ fondness for Kenny seems to spring from nowhere within the scenes we’re provided with. In the former, Butters’ fondness is based on his own insecurities and the significant trauma that Kyle, Stan, and Cartman put him through. There really isn’t anything worth dissecting with the Fun Times With Weapons incident, Kenny doesn’t appear to be particularly apologetic nor does he do anything to protect Butters from the hell that follows. Strangely Stan seems to be the most obsessed with getting Butters’ help, although in the most misguided ways possible. Furthermore, during the Cthulhu trilogy Butters is imprisoned and forced to eat his own poop to survive throughout the entirety of it and Kenny just… didn’t care at all. The initial imprisonment was clearly Cartman’s doing but even after Cartman was kicked out and Kenny assumed leadership, he made no effort to free or protect Butters. Whether this was out of resentment or apathy is left up to interpretation. Put plainly, Butters and Kenny do have a strange connection although that connecting piece appears to just be Cartman and without Eric, that bond is nearly nonexistent. (istg if i get another message calling me a bunny hater… guys, im not being mean or an anti, this isn’t about ships, this is about talking about how kenny actually feels and behaves towards other characters within canon. and no, kenny did not invite him to game night. it was very clearly a joke that no one invited him… that said, if someone did invite him, it’s more likely to have been kyle who invited him due to kyle’s response when butters first entered the house)

Kenny also has some interesting relationships with the secondary cast that is worth mentioning (Craig, Timmy, and Bradley in particular) but I’m not sure how long I’ve been typing for so we’ll put a pin in that.

Fuck, I had a lot more bulletpoints I wanted to get to in order to expand fully on his character and I haven’t even gotten to the ‘conclusions’ section but my fingers fucking hurt. Here are the bullet points I didn’t get to, if you’re really curious feel free to ask for more details on any of them:

Anger issues

Mischief

Wisdom and foolishness

Growth

Prostitution 

Sex

Parents

Work

Protective

Shyness / Quiet / timidity

Loyalty

Resentment

Hedonism

Pride and poverty

#Anonymous #meta #this is why people shouldn't ask about my favorite characters or ships #i have lots to say #too much to say #ugh i probably should have waited until the end to address the butters thing #writing it just reminded me of the shit anons #and then i just lost my steam #sad caws

[christinewhispers-blog1]

Different types of Socks

Now, there are exceptions to the principle. There are a number of men out there who've worn custom-tailored suits with Italian shoes -- plus a pair of red or lavender socks. What exactly about mixing this up? Wearing Funny Socks -- Men's Colorful Sock Rules -- When and How to Employ Brightly Colored Socks Provided that you're putting some thought into how you're strutting your gussied-up ankles, then there's no reason you can not play around with your socks on your fundamental, day-to-day,"only going about life" types of outfits. The last step in sporting colorful socks? Having a few to choose from this work well with outfits! But that's boring If you maintain the colours restrained marginally at least, and begin with those, you need to be able to slide into sock customs easily. It's not as fitting your trouser colour, quite, but it is close. Here are some good, simple guidelines for making it work out nicely: So what's a"classic" sock pattern? Click Here to see my video on the best way to wear brightly colored socks Funny sock principles. Keep in mind that"coordinate" doesn't mean"match" -- your socks don't have to be the same exact shade as any other piece of clothing on your body. There are a couple of instances when you might specifically want colored socksbeyond just enjoying them for your own sake: 1. When in Doubt, Go Classic Those guys know what they're doing. They're making a bold statement a challenge. The company suit with coloured socks is a look that says"Yes, I know the principles, and I'm sure enough and care about the way I seem to break it because it is more fun for me. Deal with it" As a very helpful rule of thumb, try to maintain the comparison between your pants and your socks at about the same amount as the contrast between the trousers and the shirt, up in your waistband. That way viewers are seeing the same basic visual belief all the way up the human body. Argyle, for just one (the angled plaid pattern of diamonds and lines) -- that's been a traditional sock design for men for the better part of a century, and you still can not go wrong with it. In terms of color, argyles move all of the way up to greens and oranges and can begin at a mix. When you want extra color-coordination. Been reading about your complexion and your best colors? Display'em off with some matching that is subtle. A sock which matches something else at the ensemble is a detailed touch. Work your sock in the color scheme as your own pocket square, your shirt, or even your sports jacket or sweater to acquire a appearance that is coordinated. Getting Your Colorful Sock Collection Launched Why would you, though? There is absolutely a place in men's style for colored socks that do not match the trousers.It demands a little more care, as it's not a simple, neutral option, but if you take care it can seem great. A Man's Guide To Design When to Wear Funny Socks? The rule of thumb for men's socks is an easy one: And above all, have fun. Life's too short to never enjoy a sock If you are only getting started breaking out of the fitting trousers/socks mould, then cut your teeth. But it is nice so be thinking in terms of colors that work well together if there's some sympathy. It looks great if your socks fit into the exact same general theme as the rest of your outfit. First -- When Not to Wear Funny Socks Yeah, it's a rule that retains men and will be appropriate for business settings -- but after a while, it gets dull for dressers. "Vibrant" socks can mean a good deal of items: bold solid colours, classic patterns such as argyle and paisley, on up to items that are bordering on novelty items (cartoon characters etc ). That can be as simple as picking out among those colours and sporting socks in a similar colour. It does not even need to be something that people consciously find as coordination -- their eyes will see it as a"good fit" even if they don't think about it themselves. That usually means wearing black socks with pants, dark gray socks with charcoal pants socks with your blue jeans, and so forth. It needs to be done correctly -- you can't just throw them with anything -- but there a way. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, here's the fantastic news: if you're not in a suit-and-tie formality type of scenario, you have the choice of wearing colored socks if you want to. Colors with figure patterns like paisley are also a good option, as are stripes of equal width. From there, go into the web and start indulging your own tastes. Be thinking in regard to the outfits you are very likely to be matching your socks together -- look for colours to complement your favorite shirts and coats, as an example, or any pocket squares that you have been needing to work to outfits. When you know you are going to do business in your stocking feet. Not every business culture keeps its shoes on all of the time. In places like Japan, shoes are removed for drinks, or even for meals. When you have a reason to believe your socks will be on screen, go right ahead and make it fun -- provided that you are not thinking about doing serious business with conservative men and women. You do not need to visit Asia to get sockless scenarios, possibly; anything out of a locker room to a corporate spa into your meditative retreat might wind up with your sneakers being shucked by you. When you would like to liven up an easy outfit. Got something essential going on for daily? A set of unique socks turns something such as a khakis/collared or even jeans/T-shirt shirt combination into something that seems deliberate. It is like a pocket square in a jacket -- it tells people you don't look this way. You put some thought into the ensemble. "Contrast" is the change from one adjoining color to another. We have some contrast in our complexions and within our outfits. All well and good if you are a former Army Ranger or own a Fortune 500. The rest of us should think of our brightly colored socks as social wear, and leave them. 2. Coordinate with the Remainder of the Outfit If you've never worn socks which don't fit your trousers before (or, worse, if you have been wearing white crew socks no matter what your pants look like), begin at any good menswear shop. Many will have at least a few selections of easy patterns such as argyle. These liven things up somewhat, but are nevertheless usually two- or three-tone at the most, and usually not too radically coloured. There's also the simplest and most effective time to wear socks: when you feel like it. You need the same quantity of contrast throughout your whole appearance. That means that if a top half is low-contrast and subtle -- a coat in the same color but a different shade as the top under itsay -- you do not want eye-popping color changes on the half. 3. Be Conscious of Your Contrast Levels Your sock's colour should match the color of your trousers. In general, none of those will cut it as part of a business outfit that is serious or a somber event like a funeral. These scenarios aren't about you expressing identity -- about you showing admiration and fitting in, they are. Socks from hell is describing everything about different types of socks. https://www.socksfromhell.com/