#i made a new alignment triangle

[sugar-grigri]

Hello! With the discussion of Yoshida with your recent analysis, what's your perspective on Yoshida offering Denji the choice before: of being chainsaw man or having his family and how much of that was Yoshida enforcing his own ideas of what's good for denji vs his efforts to help denji in the limited scope of his position? I feel like this could have been talked about before on the blog but with added context from csm 156 interested in how this develops too

Denji is Yoshida's reflection that he refuses to see

The answer might be easy if I aligned myself with my own position, the one I established in my analysis 156, which attempts to theorize that Yoshida is on Denji's side

But you know I know I haven't convinced everyone with my blindness around Yoshida's hidden goodness. So I'm going to answer your question, but from the opposite position: let's explain Yoshida's reactions, whether as a non-ally of Denji or as an enemy. I know this may confuse you because you'd like me to analyze chapter 133 in relation to what I analyzed about chapter 156. But even if I assumed the opposite, I would have come to the same conclusion.

I love Yoshida, and even though I seem to have left him out of my analyses, I've always reflected on every one of his interventions. And something strikes me, Yoshida often seems to be talking to himself, even deluding himself almost as if to hold on.

In chapters 120/121, Yoshida invites Asa. Now fans (like me!!!) are fantasizing about rivals, a fake love triangle and a date. But in reality, it all falls depressingly flat.

But this chapter remains interesting for two reasons: two people share their experience of solitude as the only way to avoid disappointment and be happy. However, Asa projects herself into a possible love with Yoshida.

It's like reciting something to convince yourself but secretly wishing for the opposite…

But what's interesting is that we take the position of thinking that everything Yoshida said was linear.

Let's review. Yoshida knows that Asa was leering, that she looked depressed, and since he's watching Denji, he must have known about the date, hence the warning that comes later. So why get involved? As Asa's Nayuta-altered memory made him the executioner, why make her pain worse?

Because Yoshida must have had a childish reaction. It's as if, for once, he hadn't quite accepted his role as a spectator of events. I think Yoshida must have seen himself in Asa in some way. In chapter 121, Asa is all silence and Yoshida is for once almost in monologue. It was as if everything he said would convince him a little more out loud. Whether it was his theory of happiness up to........ "stay away from Denji". That point. Part of the points that concern him as much as they concern Asa.

I think and I'm convinced that even by not interpreting Yoshida as an ally, he became more sensitive and involved with Denji's plight and didn't always know how to place an emotional wall between them. Because Denji catches him off guard, makes Yoshida's smiling mask fall off. And this is something I've never verbalized before, but it's a pillar in my interpretation:

Being with Denji pushes you to be yourself.

Because Denji refuses the social game, doesn't tend to judge as teenagers of this age usually would, and has extremely sincere reactions that are so unpredictable that they don't allow for calculated responses, responses that form the shell of other characters like Asa and Yoshida.

What Asa liked about Denji, above all, was that he was able to give her confidence and make her proud when everyone else was putting her down. You don't like fish, so what? Eat starfish. Because yes, even if it was boring, I saw you, I listened to you and you made an impact on me. Because you're not insignificant.

Denji has that effect on Yoshida. Very symbolically, during their new interaction in part 2, the protagonist doesn't remember Yoshida. Of course, it's quite funny, because it can be interpreted in all sorts of ways, like the fact that Denji is so uninterested in guys that he forgets them so easily. But it's symbolic for Yoshida's character. He's so fake and so in control that Denji doesn't perceive anything in him.

And it's when he becomes more and more desperate as a result of these reactions, and when his mask gradually breaks, that Denji finally remembers his name. Because Yoshida acts less like a public hunter and more like himself, like Yoshida.

I think in chapter 133, it's really a way of trying to wake Denji up and help him. But then again, it helps to weaken Yoshida's mask. When Yoshida repeats that Denji has only two choices, that of his family or Chainsaw Man, Denji repeats that he has two. From Yoshida's point of view, this is fundamental.

The system offers only one choice, only one possible path. But Denji opposes both. In a chapter about protest, we also talk about his position towards the system. Oppose it, protest as if in the background, claim the symbol of Chainsaw Man or oppose it, see it as a societal evil, a danger of undermining the system. For I repeat, Yoshida has decided to believe in the system when Denji distrusts it.

So Yoshida gets angry, belittling Denji as if he can't see the absurdity of this dilemma imposed on a boy who has been given a choice. Who was only told there were only two choices when there were three. Rehearsing allows Yoshida to convince himself, but we see that this controlled mask has completely disappeared, giving way to anger and a kind of panic. Because Yoshida's ideals are unravelling.

Denji is a reflection.

Reflecting the cruelty of the mafia that Katana doesn't want to admit, the dream of going to school that Reze is trying to forget, allowing the trust that Asa thought impossible and the reflection of Yoshida: a teenager, who will trace a third path to the two that will be reserved for him.

If Chainsaw Man allows you to project what you want, have or be in him, hence the pandemic of CSM wannabe. Denji, hidden behind it, is doing something far more unbearable: showing us who we are.

Aki's vengeance gives way to a desire to be surrounded by loved ones, loved ones he may not be able to protect. Thinking only of oneself shows Power, through her sacrifice for Denji, that she is capable of love even if it goes against her survival.

So chapter 156 takes on a softer version. I repeat: why did you wake Denji up just to tell him he'd lost?

That Yoshida had warned him? Once again, through a strategy of self-conviction and self-protection, what Yoshida is doing is reminding us that complete alienation from the system is better than individual affirmation (which is what Denji is punished for, having repeated that he is Chainsaw Man). This identical public hunter's costume is the symbol of this submission. Yoshida is no longer even a fake high-school student. He's just a public hunter.

But I find this chapter takes on an air of funeral and goodbye. Yoshida's costume, taking on that of someone in mourning in a symbolic way.

Because saying goodbye to Denji.

It means saying goodbye to yourself.

So I ask you, Anon, and you, the reader, does Yoshida really want to continue refusing to see his reflection ?

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #denji #yoshida #yoshida hirofumi #asa #asa mitaka #my thoughts #csm 156 #csm 121 #csm 133 #ask #<3

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | V

Unexpected does not always mean unwelcome, but just because it is welcome, does not always make it right.

Read part four here

Pairing: sam kiszka x f!reader, jake kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 10.7k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex (wrap it), fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), praise, dirty talk, teasing, slight male sub dynamic ig, begging, drinking, swearing, love triangle shit, you know the drill, sorry if I miss any!

hello lovely people 🤭 so happy to be back again. sorry this took so long, but i hope this meets your expectations. i love you all dearly and hope that you aren’t too upset with me for my small hiatus. i will say that thus far, I’ve kept the lyrics in chronological order mostly because they’ve always aligned with the chapter theme. now, they’re going to be mixed up a bit to fit a little better! anyway, without further ado, enjoy, don’t mind any grammar mistakes, and please be kind 🫶🏻

Of all the situations in the world, you figured this particular one would be at the top of the list for awkwardness. When Sam stepped into your home, the door latch loudly clasping shut behind him, you waited for the dread to seep in, for the whiplash of anxiety that so often accompanied the presence of the brothers. Instead, a bubble of anger formed in your chest. You were mad at him for not making a move sooner, and for only making one after Jake did. Upset at the fact he had no issue involving you in their twisted dynamic, or remorse for playing with your feelings. You were no longer blind, being strung along aimlessly by ignorance and emotion. Danny was right; you were in control of the situation, and you intended to prove that. No more guilt for a situation the two boys created, and long ago, at that. No more pain over a fate they chose for themselves.

Wordlessly, you made a move to the kitchen. He followed, unsure of how to verbally approach the thoughts he was having about you. You located another bottle of wine, calling to you with temptation greater than the one you had for the boy standing behind you. As you cracked the cap, sipping from the bottle with little care, you finally turned to face him. “Why are you here?” It took him a moment to process your blunt inquiry, curious about your sudden shift in perspective from the day prior.

“To see you.” He said, simple and to the point.

“Mmm,” you hummed, now much less embarrassed about your attire, or lack of, rather. It was a great head start to your course of action. “To see me, or to fuck me?” The alcohol was a violent instigator, disrupting any filter you would normally have on your thoughts.

“To see you.” He confirmed again, unwavering on his stance, but his gaze was drifting away from your face and settling on the parts of you he was previously so eager to discover. A smirk tugged at your lips, finding his loyalty to his answer funny. You could tell the truth was not within the words he spoke, and his curious eyes were giving him away.

“Okay, you’ve seen me. Want to leave, now?” The angry part of you had no sympathy for the boy you had been so desperately in love with. Although he was still the same person, the new perspective on him casted a different light, now. One that illuminated faults instead of solely positives. The love was the same, still craving his touch with a ferocity like no other, still so profound that it made your head spin and your chest ache. But, love was subject, because the idea of love in your mind was heavily dependent upon your imagination, reliant on the idea that Sam was perfect.

Your feelings were real, but no longer cemented with the notion that he could do no wrong. The pedestal was crumbling, cracking and falling more by the second, finally returning him back to common ground. He lost his ability to consume you entirely, his baggage weighing him down and giving you a chance to surface for some air. The angelic aura that surrounded him was laced with sin, but it made him all the more loveable. His imperfections lessened his ability, but made him more realistic than before. Perhaps your freedom to close the gap of the power imbalance worked more in his favour than anything else. Your momentary sense of control was exhilarating, allowing you to finally plant your feet firmly on the ground, but it only made you fall victim to him even further.

Love cannot be true without equality, and your new understanding of Sam gave you exactly that. The equal playing field resulted solely from the destruction of the barrier between idolization and acceptance. Harnessing control seemed like a way to regain your own power, but it was your biggest mistake thus far. Choosing to continue your dance with the devil only allowed you to shatter the world in which Sam could do no wrong, and learn to love him despite the flaws. It was only a matter of time before the realization seeped through the cracks of the false sense of control; the power did not belong in the hands of any of you, no matter the belief that it did.

Once again, the devil laughed loudly, remaining baffled at your inability to heed the warning.

“I can’t come see you unless I have a reason?” He asked, eyes still drinking in the way the red lace complimented you. “I like your company.”

“You can,” you nodded, showing him you weren’t contesting him on that specific point. “Just don’t think that’s why you came today.” You watched him, examining his face for any faltering expressions.

“Why do you think I’m here, then?” He asked, challenging you the same way you were challenging him. You didn’t respond right away, unsure of the correct answer to his question. You didn’t want to give yourself away, or let him know that you were aware of his history, but you had to make sure he knew you weren’t going to conform to his rules this time.

“To make sure I didn’t forget about our conversation, yesterday.” His eyes flickered to meet yours, curious that you caught on to his intent so quickly. “I didn’t forget, Sammy.” You whispered, voice barely breaking through the silence.

“You mean to tell me you had no intent when you opened the door like that?” His lips upturned in the corner, a smirk now painfully present. He was taunting you, begging for the upper hand to offset your head start. As much as he enjoyed your company, it did not make him completely willing to allow you control.

“I don’t think you want me to answer that, baby.” As you spoke, a flash of emotion crossed his eye, like a spark catching a fume of gasoline. As soon as it ignited, it burnt out in an instant. You weren’t sure if it was because he was covering his emotion, or if he was really that unbothered by the thought of you waiting for his brother. You were both well aware that the initial invitation inside was calling Jake’s name, rather than his. Still, that did not mean he was unwelcome, and he was planning to soak up every bit of hospitality you were willing to give him.

“So I am intruding?” He asked, expecting you to grovel for him to stay. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head at his question.

“You’re not going to leave, Sam. Don’t pretend you will, because we both know it’s not true.” Instead of focusing on the shocked expression he was giving you, you held the bottle of wine to him, silently offering him a drink. Rather than responding, he took the bottle from you and unscrewed the cap, taking a long drink to wash down his distaste for you calling his bluff. He wasn’t sure what to expect of you, but this certainly wasn’t it. The version of you he’d seen yesterday was much different, timid and lovestruck by him. Now, you almost seemed bored, like you were waiting for him to prove himself to you. He was scared that Jake had already won the race, but fear was second to intrigue; he was enticed by the idea of winning you back. He was enticed by you, standing and speaking with so much confidence, your beauty never shining quite as bright as it did in that moment.

He knew he was an idiot for waiting so long, stupid for giving his brother a chance to make an advance. He was stupid for not letting you know how he felt about you sooner, always keeping his admiration silent and making you second guess yourself. He felt, if anything, he owed it to you to to let you express your distaste for his actions. So he played along, allowing you to rid yourself of any ill feelings, knowing he was bound to enjoy the process, anyway. Any attention from you was worth more than the world in his eyes. He let you take the lead, believing that he was doing it willingly; as much as he convinced himself that it was voluntary, he knew that you had him wrapped around your finger. The nights events would only solidify the fact even further, making the entanglement all the more dangerous.

That was the funny thing about your relationship; you both felt the need to harness control, but were both fools for each other. Desperately searching for a sense of power, but willing to give in at the simplest request. The defensive nature that you both tried to maintain, one that radiated with cockiness and carelessness for each other was just for show. You were one misspoken word away from cracking; the weight of his stare was overwhelming, begging to disrupt your entire process.

“Are you sure about that?” He asked, placing the bottle on the table, freeing his hands in anticipation of an advance. You gave him a soft smile, finding his confidence charming.

“So sure that if the time comes, I’ll even hold the door open for you.” Your words struck a nerve in him, but he didn’t break. “But, I’ll leave it unlocked, because I know you’ll come back.” His eyes were burning into you, making the temptation to reach out and touch him overwhelmingly strong. Still, you stood with your feet firmly planted to the ground, imploring him to make the first move. His head tilted to the side, watching you with curiosity. When he realized your play, a smile crossed his lips.

“So sure of yourself, but you haven’t done anything to make me want to stay, princess.” The pet name shook you to your core, shattering all of your values and consuming your thoughts with anything but purity. Both brothers were so charming, perfect with their words but in different ways. Jake made it unable to think about anything other than him, leaving you without a choice in wanting him. He stole the air from your lungs and made the suffering pleasurable. Sam gave you freedom of choice, but ensured to bury himself in every available thought, making the decision of keeping him around easier than anything else. The idea of choice was false from either side, but the ignorance to the truth was fantastic, making you believe you really had a say in the matter and in turn, making you fall for him further on your own accord. They were both evil, no doubt about that, but you were just as bad for allowing them the power over you.

“So far you haven’t done anything other than give me a headache.” You said, almost as if you were bored with the banter. You weren’t sure what came over you; the back talk, the taunting, the confidence all seemed to be new, summoned at the idea of Sam believing he was winning the argument. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was your annoyance with his insufferable attitude. Whatever it was, you had dug just deep enough under his skin for him to throw the act to the side. He was eager to get the rest of your clothes off, and the conversation was giving nothing other than annoyance to both of you. Without a response, he stepped towards you and pulled you into him by your hips in one swift motion. Before you could comprehend the sudden movement, his eyes were busy casting the familiar spell over you, drawing you into him without a second thought. Within a few seconds, his lips were on yours.

Your hand snaked around his neck, eager and accepting of the new position. The kiss was heated, different than the ones you had shared before. The bitterness of the wine lingered on your lips, offsetting the sweetness of your satisfaction. The gratification that coursed through your veins was heavily accredited to his willingness to give in, making you think that for a moment you had won the battle. In turn, that was true in a sense, but it had only laid the foundation for a war to begin. Your personal needs were fulfilled, the agenda was almost to completion, but the nagging voices in your mind were screaming at you to recognize that they were achieved at a cost. You wished, with his hands on you, his lips distracting you, that the voices would cease to exist. No matter which path you chose, there was some moral dilemma begging to be heard above the sinister power of the little devil that was controlling your every move. As delightful as his touch was, some part of you finally begun to understand that it was not the answer to your questions, or the solutions to your problems.

But, you were never one to deny pleasure, and pleasure was nothing compared to what he was capable of giving you.

You felt like you were melting into him, completely immersed in his presence and one with every movement. His hands were steady, holding you to him to make sure you knew he wasn’t backing down. Your chest was burning, heart racing at the idea of finally having him so intimately. Months of tension spent waiting for a moment of relief, begging for him to notice, was finally coming to an end, but not in a sweet confessional. It was heated, passionate and hungry, both of you feeling no need for any sort of formalities. The lust was primal, and seemingly desperate. Whether that was for each other, or just to prove a point, was unclear. Despite his arrogance moments earlier, he didn’t seem to have a plan in mind to progress. He wanted you to take charge, to allow yourself the opportunity to rid yourself of any frustrations or fears that you may have been experiencing previously. You were in control, and he was willing to do whatever he could to please you.

You parted for a moment, lungs aching for a breath. Your hands drifted downwards, fumbling with the bottom of his shirt. He released his hold, allowing you to pull it over his head and expose his upper body. Your eyes washed over his bare torso, wanting to admire him, but your hands were already guiding him backwards to one of the kitchen chairs. You felt like you were in a frenzy, needing to know every part of him and appreciate the detail, but unable to slow down to allow yourself to do so. You wanted all of him, but you wanted it right away. Waiting was out of the question; your patience had withered away long before he showed up at your doorstep.

Before he sat, he took a second to remove his jeans, leaving you both in the same position. Minimal fabric concealing the most intimate details, details that you were both eager to explore. Once he kicked his pants to the side, he allowed you to guide him down on the wooden chair. Before he could even settle himself in the seat, you had taken it upon yourself to make yourself comfortable in his lap. With your legs on either side of him, you placed your hand on his shoulder as you guided yourself into the new position. His hands found your hips again, showing his appreciation for your advance. He held you down on him, the small friction providing relief only for a few seconds.

“How’s that?” He hummed, the warmth of his palms searing into you, branding you with his touch. You knew in that moment, there was no escaping Sam. He had permanently engraved his essence within you, his name knotted around your tongue, his presence making home in your heart and his touch burrowing under your skin. He was like a parasite, showcasing it with his ability to latch on to you and take control, to slowly leech all life from you. The certain death was the most comforting part; you would never have to live without him, to feel the ache if he disappeared. “Still giving you that headache?” He mustered out, almost distracted from his jab by the slow roll of your hips against him. The gentle movement was barely causing any friction, yet it was grand enough to completely break his focus. You knew just as well as he did that your effect on him rivalled the one he had on you, and you were using it to your advantage.

“Shut up, Sam.” You snapped, feeling his hands find the clasp of your bra. With expert precision he unhooked it, the tension releasing instantly and the straps drifting down your shoulders.

“Hey, now. No need to be like that.” He cooed, the soft sound of his voice sending a shiver down your spine. The difference in bed between him and his brother was astounding; if you had spoke to Jake with even an ounce of the disrespect you were giving Sam, chastising would have been for certain, and punishment would be expected. Instead, Sam took the gentle approach, coaxing you with kindness to do what he do badly wanted. There was no authority in his tone or his touch, only need that could not be described with such simple words. He was completely at your disposal, willing to do anything you wanted with little argument. The similarities you’d seen previously had finally begun to divide, branching off to show you the different sides of both boys. Even with the differences, you still found yourself falling further for each of them with every moment that passed.

In one sense, your adoration for Sam was growing larger with every second, faster with every touch he ghosted over your skin. In another, the surge of emotion snowballed into guilt, feeling like you were betraying Jake by encouraging Sam’s advances. You vowed to fight, to settle the score and finish their endless battle for them, but you were slowly beginning to understand that the peace would come at risk of casualties; the casualty being you. Still, you walked into your own demise with content, just happy to be loved in the process. Your willingness to sacrifice your own sanity stemmed from the fact that the feeling of being loved by both boys was too grand to deny. As much as you wanted to believe your intent was selfless, that it was to protect lovers from future conflict like such, it was not wholly true. The biggest force was solely the desire to be with them, to be needed by them. You were drowning in your own feelings, but the water was warm, more comforting than the thought of never swimming again.

His fingers drifted over your shoulders, begging you to move just enough so he could remove the red fabric from you. You adhered to his silent plea, moving back from him and allowing him to slip the straps from your arms. He lazily tossed the bra to the floor, not even bothering to notice where it landed. Instead, his eyes were focused only on you, engraving the memory into his brain forever. His curious hands drifted to where the bra had been previously concealing you, his thumb brushing over your nipple, soft enough that you could have missed it. He leaned forward, lips connecting with the sensitive skin on your neck. He familiarized himself with you, his movements slow but calculated.

When the first breathy moan slipped past your lips, he was sure he could die in that moment, more content than he’d ever been. His actions were seemingly genuine, like all he was doing was for the sake of your pleasure. It was partially true, and he was happy that he could give you what you wanted, but it was more than that; every touch, kiss, all of the silent encouragement was selfishly motivated. Much like his brother, he was determined to make you fall victim to him, just so you never wanted to leave. The game was natural to them, but losing you was not something he was willing to do. As much as he hated to sacrifice his brothers feelings for his own sake, he didn’t care. In the end, he wanted you no matter the sacrifice or strife, and he was certain of it. For the time being, he made it a mission to make your decision easy, to make you want to come to him, to fall in to his arms as if you’d always belonged there.

He lowered his mouth, capturing your nipple in his mouth. A soft flick of his tongue over the sensitive bud sent a shiver down your spine. Your back arched, allowing him easier access to your chest. As you did so, his erection pressed further into your heat, intensifying your arousal. His mouth focused on one breast while his hand found your other. The two different sensations created a whole new feeling for you, quickly realizing that he also had a touch of magic within him as well. As if it were your new mantra, you found yourself blaming it on the Kiszka charm once again. You felt as if you’d been reciting that in your head more than anything else, chalking up every moment to a universal aura all of the siblings possessed. Deep down, you knew it was likely because they knew you, that they’d studied you in attempt to understand what would win you over, and now they were using it to their own advantage. Still, ignorance was easier to choke down than truth, and the truth was that charm was part of the game.

You found your hips grinding into him more as his tongue moved with expert precision. He was growing more excited by the second, eager to get the rest of your clothes off and get a taste of the mess he’d created. His hand wandered down, tickling the soft skin of your torso as he searched for something more. Eventually, his fingers knotted through the side of your underwear, the lace tempting him too much to withstand. He let his fingers rest for a moment as he removed his mouth from your nipple, barely giving you time to process the loss before his free hand was guiding your head down to meet him in a kiss. It was a messy show of tangled lips and curious tongues, nothing desirable about the sloppiness, yet more inviting than anything else you could imagine.

Little by little, his parasitic nature began to suck the life from you, beginning with your own morality. The more you had of him, the more the cloud of guilt floated away. No thoughts of Jake, or his hands that you’d been begging for only moments before Sam’s arrival. The only thing that mattered was your growing impatience and how badly you wanted him inside you. When you parted from him, you were both fighting for a full breath, lungs burning with something bigger than just a lack of oxygen; overwhelmed by the pure desire surrounding you. “Stand up for me.” He managed out through a long exhale. You did as he pleased, but ensured that the process was drawn out, teasing him as you did so. Once you were planted on your feet, he took it upon himself to rid you of the red lace that left little to the imagination. Once they dropped to your ankles, he sucked in a long breath in attempt to cover the shock on his face.

He couldn’t hide the look of adoration his eyes were glistening with, overwhelmed at the thought of finally being with you so intimately. He would have told you that you were gorgeous, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, but his words seemed to fail him. Seeing you fully exposed before him seemed to cause a short circuit in his brain, unable to comprehend the feelings he had for you in that moment. It was a slow build up, letting him believe he was in control of how hard he was falling for you, allowing him to think that you didn’t have any power over him. The bliss that he felt in that moment told him all he needed to know; he was in love with you, falling harder and faster than he ever had. There was no stoping it, no cushion to break the fall, and the only way to protect himself was to make you love him, too.

He was certain his brother felt the same pull, the same adoration and the same love. It was only then he realized that the world they had been living in was far more dangerous than it had ever been before. This time, the love was real, and catastrophic. Neither could bear the thought of losing, and they were pulling you in both directions as they fell opposite of each other. The cushion of protection that brotherhood provided only extended so far, and the truth of this heartbreak stretched far beyond covered ground. As he reached out for you, slowly turning you around and guiding you backwards to him, he tried to push the thought away. As your legs found home on either side of him, the warmth of your back searing into the skin of his chest, he knew it was here to stay. When his hand drifted between your legs, fingers dancing through the wetness and finding their way to your clit, he didn’t care. Your head fell back on his shoulder, eyes fluttered shut in bliss at the relief he was giving you.

“Oh, god.” You sighed, immediately causing him to close his eyes, too. The sound alone was enough to make him forget any worry in the world. His free hand returned to your breast, gently playing with your nipple as he focused on your clit. He was painfully hard, almost unable to hold himself back from fucking you right then, but he persevered. Getting you off was the only thing he cared about. In that moment, he was living for it. Your head turned inward towards his own, your forehead resting against his cheek, silently begging for more contact with him. He turned his head towards you, enjoying every bit of affection you would permit.

“Is that better, princess?” His voice was low, vibrating through you with an intensity you could barely comprehend. He was barely touching you, barely giving you anything at all, but he was driving you crazy. Every small touch or slight movement was a million times more powerful than they appeared. You worried that you were tangled in his web, too, your limbs tied down with no hope for freedom. Even with the restraint, the unwillingness to accept the inevitable consequence of being intertwined with him indefinitely, some part of you you knew you would be okay, because he would take care of you. He would always take care of you, and you knew that from the minute his hands touched you.

You thought it ought to be impossible, to be so intricately woven within both boys, to be tied down willingly even with the knowledge that there was no way out. After all, how could you be so immersed in two different worlds? The question hammered against your skull as his fingers danced through your cunt, pushing you to the brink of an orgasm without any effort. The words grew louder as the knot in your belly tightened, the stimulation of your nipple pinched between his fingers driving you even closer to the edge. As he turned his head and caught you in another kiss, you thought the pondering would be silenced, that the voice would fade into nothing. While his tongue danced with yours, sadistically paired with the expertise of his hands, the question was indefinitely answered. The web was the same, just much larger and complex than you originally understood. It was completely possible to be trapped by both brothers because their web was identical, and over years of playing their same disastrous games, they had intertwined and become one.

Danny was right in saying that it was impossible to fall for one and not the other, but not because of their similarities. Sure, they had lots in common, but that was not the driving force that made it so easy to love both. They were different in many ways, and you could tell just by how Sam was touching you, how he chose to love you in that moment. Different than Jake, but fantastic all the same. You loved both with the same intensity, but for all different reasons. In the struggle, it was easy to view the feelings as identical because you never had a moment to slow down and think of it any other way. It was possible to fall for both of them so intensely because they made it so; their whole exterior was a guise, perfectly crafted in retaliation to the feeling of insecurity and inferiority. Mistakes from their younger days led them to believe that the pattern was set in stone, rather than something they allowed. Instead of changing, working towards the common goal, they played into the idea that they were never going to escape the curse. You had fallen for both of them so quickly because they moulded into one mindset, mirroring each other in the worst ways.

The boys were different, much more than you had perceived before. You wished that with the realization, picking one over the other would be so much easier. As Sam coaxed you into an orgasm, sending a wave of pleasure through you so intense that you couldn’t catch your breath, you knew it wasn’t true. In the few short days they had spent trying to win you over, you’d fallen for them as individuals. Caught in the same web, but in love with two different versions of it. One side was not greener than the other, nor more promising, which made it all the more painful. As you came down, skin tingling with the ghost of pleasure, you clung to him for comfort. The warmth of his skin was inviting, so inviting that it was easy to ignore the warnings your brain wished you would adhere to. There was no hope for a brighter side, and it didn’t matter who you chose in the end, because they had both planted the seed of promise within your brain. Promise of love, happiness, comfort, and the thought of losing either was excruciating. Different as they may be, the euphoric feeling of being loved by them was all the same.

Suffering was a promise coated with momentary gain. Nobody was in control, and you were all finally beginning to understand.

Once you had regained your senses, Sam prompted you to sit up for a moment. You hovered above him, allowing him the chance to free himself from his boxers. He barely had the fabric out of the way before he was guiding you back down to him, lining his cock with your entrance as he did so. There was a slight moment of hesitancy from both of you, but it was quickly forgotten when he pulled you down on him fully, your ass meeting his hips as he bottomed out inside of you. A shared groan of relief sounded from both of you, as if it was something you’d been waiting for your whole lives. He pulled your upper half back to his chest, reaching around to find your clit again. Once you’d recovered from the overwhelming feeling of him inside you, you began to rock your hips. He didn’t move his fingers, letting you set the friction with the pace of your hips. It was a small injustice, one that drove you insane. His generosity weakened and he was silently telling you that if you wanted more, you had to work for it.

You sped your movements, finding your will to argue with Sam completely non-existent. Arguing with Jake was fun, because you knew you went into the conversation with no chance of coming out on top. With Sam, it was a ruthless battle. You could both scream until you were blue in the face and neither of you would give in. You could spend all night running in circles, or get yourself off on your own accord, and you chose the latter. Your only hope was that he felt the same about you, and when it was your turn for a command, he would oblige with the same enthusiasm. As you sunk back down on him, he was unable to hold back the sound of pleasure that slipped through his lips. It only served as motivation, telling you that he was just as crazy for it as you were.

He had one hand firmly on your waist, fingers decorating the soft flesh with enough pressure for you to notice, but not near enough to hurt you. His touch radiated caution and care, so unlike the hands you had on you the night before. “This is what you came over for, isn’t it?” You hummed, your head tilted back and his cheek pressed against yours. He refused to answer, but didn’t change his position. “Tell me, Sam.” You ordered, but the tone was gentle, coaxing it from him at his own pace rather than forcing it.

“Fuck, yes,” he finally said, hissing his answer through clenched teeth. Your eyes closed at the sound, pleased at his answer but not completely satisfied with him yet.

“Is it as good as you thought it would be?” You taunted, not changing your pace but coming down on him with more force each time. “Exactly what you dreamed of?”

“Yeah, baby.” He nodded against you, sucking in a sharp breath as you rolled your hips on him. “You feel so good, even better than I imagined.” His voice was strained, like he was trying to fight back a moan as he spoke. A smirk played at the corner of your lips, content to have him in such a mess below you.

“God, you do too.” You sighed, realizing that if he was willing to be so kind, you would, too. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Sammy.” The statement caused his fingers to tighten on you and his pressure on your clit to increase. A moan fell from you, content with his effort. He was just happy you were enjoying yourself. In a twisted turn of events, you understood that in that specific scenario, he was existing solely to please you. So many months wasted pinning after him, and he had been so eager to make you feel good the whole time. As if it were a silent apology from both of you, he was doing so now, and praising him only seemed right.

“Now you have me, princess.” He whispered, leaning down and placing a few kisses on your shoulder. The small act of love was heartwarming, but you didn’t let it deter you from the filthy things you wanted him to do to you. “I’m all yours.” You swallowed hard at the statement, not quite ready to bear the weight of it yet.

“Just like that, baby.” You gasped, shifting slightly in hopes that he would continue hitting the same spot inside you. The circles he was rubbing into your clit were steady, ruthless in their efforts to get you to another climax. You sped the pace, the tip of his cock hitting the most sensitive spot inside you from the new angle. “M’gonna cum,” you warned, praying he would keep his rhythm.

“Yeah?” He asked, his tone hopeful and anything but condescending. You let out a murmur of agreement, your eyes squeezed shut in anticipation. Your forehead was glistening with sweat, the position clearly taking a bit more energy than you anticipated. The strands of his hair that were in disarray were tickling the skin of your shoulders, a simple beauty in the mess of vulgarity. He was beautiful, and so was the way he was making you feel. It seemed as though he worshiped the ground you walked on, ecstatic that he even had the opportunity to please you. Like your words had changed his demeanour, morphed him into something you never expected from him. He was so witty and even snarky by times, and you fully expected that persona to carry over from every day life to the bedroom. Instead, he was almost a different person, desperate to make you feel good and even willing to be chastised in the process. Had you attempted to tease Jake, you would be met with nothing rewarding. The difference was astounding.

“Oh, fuck Sam!” You whined, the muscles in your abdomen tensing as a wave of pleasure washed over you. The pressure had reached its peak, leaving your legs shaking and hands gripping at him for support.

“There you go, princess.” He breathed, in awe at the elegance of you, even in such a dirty way. “Did that feel good?” Once again, the vibration of his voice resonated throughout your body, settling under your skin and igniting every nerve.

“Felt so good, baby.” You assured him. Without another word, he lifted you off him, keeping a hand on you to support you. With a swift motion, he cleared the clutter of the table with a swipe of his hand. Most items were pushed backwards, some toppling over and some papers floating to the ground with grace. You watched as the items settled in their new positions, a spark of intrigue filling you. He turned to you, picking you up with ease and settling you on the now empty spot on the kitchen table. “Hi,” you let out a small giggle, processing the change of position. As he nestled between your legs, you couldn’t help but feel a fleeting moment of innocent joy. The soft features of his face, beautifully crafted and meant to be admired. The hair cascading down his shoulders, framing every detail in the most elegant way. The dim overhead light and the sun from the window painting him with a bit of a golden glow. It was all too much to overlook, too profound to go unnoticed. He was perfect, unbearably compelling, and the tug on your heartstrings from the sight was irrefutable. You couldn’t help but take the moment, even if it broke the momentum of sex.

“Hi, gorgeous.” He smiled, eyes drifting over your face and admiring you in the same way. After a moment of silent appreciation, he pulled you into a kiss. It was sweet, but it didn’t last for long and the blame was shared between both of you. The need for more was obvious, and the tender action quickly turned messy, desperate, even. You felt him line himself up with you again, but you broke away and stopped him before he could advance. He looked at you with worry, wondering if he overstepped. You shook your head, placing a hand on his shoulder and gently guiding him towards the floor.

After a moment, he caught on to your demand. He sunk to his knees, almost embarrassed that he hadn’t thought of it himself. He was so worked up that he hadn’t even taken the time to fully grasp what was in front of him. He placed a few kisses to your thighs, gentle and loving, building up to what you so badly wanted. He hooked his arm under your leg and gently guided you to the edge of the table. He didn’t waste too much time, not wanting you to lose interest in the action. He ran his tongue through you, savouring the taste of your arousal. He let out a hum of pleasure, letting you know he was more than grateful to have you like that. Your hand found his hair, tangling in the locks of brown. You watched him, eyes glazed with lust, realizing how many times you wished you could have him exactly as he was. You didn’t have the chance to dwell for too long, his tongue quickly finding your already quite sensitive bundle of nerves.

Your head fell back, too focused on the feeling to watch him any longer. His initial exploration was long forgotten about, eager to get you to another climax. Part of it was selfish, not wanting to wait any longer to be inside you again, but most of it was desperation to make you feel such a way again. The knowledge that he could make you feel so good was worth more than the world to him. He was sure there was no greater motivator in the universe. His tongue was focused on your clit, relentless in its pursuit of an orgasm. His fingers were grasping your thigh, holding you to him like he was scared you would get away. Little did he know, that was the last thing you ever wanted to do. You wished you could stay like this with him forever.

After a moment, he added his fingers to you, pumping them in with a slight curl every time. The added stimulation made it impossible for you to hold back any moans. Your grip on his hair was tight, and if you weren’t so lost in the pleasure, you would be in fear of hurting him. It didn’t bother him, though. If anything, it drove him further, making him enjoy the experience even more. He was crazy for you, and he knew that in that moment, there was nothing he wouldn’t do to have you like this again. His previous concern about Jake and his feelings were obsolete. The need to be with you was greater than his worry of hurting his brother. Even if someone was bound to get harmed, he was just happy to have you for the time being. Even if you didn’t choose him. After all, having you for a brief moment was better than never having you at all.

“S-Sammy,” you whimpered, eyes squeezed shut at the pure ecstasy of his mouth. He hummed against you, acknowledging your exclamation without breaking away from you. “Fuck that feels so good.” You groaned, the words ripping from your chest in a violent manner. He used the praise as motivation, ensuring his movements were consistent to give you the most pleasure he could. Although his pace was slow, it did not mean it wasn’t impactful. He flattened his thumb against your cunt, pulling his mouth back only slightly so he could slip the digit just below his lip. The pause in movement took you for surprise, making you wonder what he was doing. After a few seconds, he continued on and answered your question immediately. A sharp gasp sounded, the slight change introducing you to a whole different type of pleasure.

With every upstroke of his tongue, he brought his thumb up under it, keeping it in time with his tongue. The new feeling made it so your clit was constantly stimulated, never giving him a chance to miss a beat. He continued pumping his fingers in you, the curl hitting your g-spot with ease. There was no doubt the brothers talent on their instruments had contribution to their skillful hands, but you had no idea to what extent it would be. Now, you were certain that every lifetime lived would only be worth it if it was spent with a guitarist. “Please don’t stop,” you pleaded, drawing in a long breath. The burning in the pit of your stomach was intense, easily telling you that he didn’t have to work for much longer. One last pump of his fingers was all you needed. When you came, it was more intense than the ones he had previously given you. You were clenched around his fingers, your legs shaking and your fingers knotted tightly in his hair. You struggled to catch your breath, your chest burning for air and your head swimming with nothing meaningful.

When he noticed your body relax, he slowly tapered his pace. When he fully removed himself from you, you felt disappointment at the lack of attention. He smiled up at you, noticing the look of displeasure on your features. Slowly, he rose back to his feet and made home between your legs again. “You taste so good, princess. Could do that all day.” He said, his words sincere and no hint of a lie in his expression.

“It was so good, Sammy. You make me feel so good.” You sighed, pulling his upper body into you. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. You weren’t sure if it was because you were craving the comfort after such an earth-shattering orgasm, or if you were craving him. Either way, the comfort that came from the feeling of his arms around you was unexplainable. He placed a kiss to the top of your head, flooding your body with a type of warmth you can only feel from another person. He held you there, feeling the same way that you were. He never wanted to leave, never wanted to let you go, and it was dangerous. Much like his brother, he had to face the reality that you weren’t his. At least, not yet.

“Can I fuck you, please?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. It was an attempt to ward off the ache that settled within him, knowing he would walk out of the house with no promise of more.

“You want to fuck me?” You asked, pulling back to look up at his face. He met your eyes, giving you a nod. You watched his face, wondering if you wanted to allow him the opportunity so soon. There was a slight glimmer of hope in his eye, one that you couldn’t look past. “Since you did such a good job,” you teased, a small smile on your lips. “You can fuck me, baby.” You said, the permissive statement sparking him into action immediately. His hands shot to your hips, pulling you just a little closer to the edge. You leaned back slightly, allowing him easier access. His hand trailed to your thigh, landing on your knee and pulling your leg up and around him. You locked it there, drawing him in closer as he lined himself up with your entrance.

He pushed into you, both of you letting out a sigh of relief at the feeling. He thrusted his hips slow at first, giving you time to adjust to him again. You appreciated his patience, you were sensitive from the events that had already ensued, and him caring about your comfort more than his satisfaction meant a lot. After a moment, you were well acclimated and wanted more. You guided his body closer to you, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. He responded enthusiastically, happy for the new invitation. Your tongue danced over his bottom lip, driving him crazy and inevitably causing him to quicken his pace. The angle in which the position allowed was deliciously precise, the tip of his cock reaching your cervix as he thrusted. The small jolt of pain was immensely noticeable, but just as pleasant as every other sensation.

You were certain that anything would be delightful as long as Sam was the one doing it.

You let a moan slip into his mouth, unintentional but perfectly good for him. His fingers seared into your skin, tightening at the sound. You were having a hard time keeping your lips to his with the way he was pounding into you. Your leg that was locked around him attempted to pull him closer, even if it was impossible. You wanted to be immersed in him, for his being to suffocate you. You never wanted to leave the moment, never wanted him to stop touching you. Every nerve was ablaze with months of tension finally coming to an end. Your skin was on fire, not with heat, but with the pure electricity his body was giving off. It felt perfect, like this was exactly where you should be. The decision to be with Sam should have been easy, especially when you were feeling like such. Still, there was a little voice in your head telling you that something wasn’t right, and you couldn’t rely on the feeling because you felt the same way with Jake.

You felt despicable even thinking of his brother while engaging in such an act, but the thought was fleeting, never lasting for too long but always appearing when you least expected it. Much like poison slowly creeping into your veins and overthrowing your own body. It was killing you, but was so good, so similar to a drug. Both of the boy’s love was branded with toxicity and was dangerously volatile, but always left you wanting more. Left you believing that you couldn’t live without it. “I need you to cum again, princess.” He pleaded. The words cut through your thoughts like a blade, shattering any abstraction of anything other than him. He was close, begging you for one more climax before he reached his own.

He had done a fantastic job pleasing you, ridding you of any indignation you held for him in the previous hours. With the offer of his body alone, he’d managed to erase any ill feelings in an instant, and in such a selfless manner. You thought you could give in, allow him what he wanted at his request. If you wanted to, you could make him go all night, and you were sure he would oblige. You certainly wouldn’t mind, but you had a streak of sympathy for him in that moment, feeling generous enough to give him a break. His hard work was appreciated, and you had gotten far more than you originally hoped for. “Are you close, baby?” You asked, using your free hand to cup his cheek in your hand. He gave a nod, leaning forward to rest his forehead on yours. “You want to cum with me?” You pried, wanting a verbal answer from him.

“Fuck, yes.” He groaned. Seeing him in such a state was enough to drive you over the edge. His desperation was thrilling; you couldn’t help but feel your ego inflating at the thought. You’d spent so long desperate to have him, and now that the roles were reversed, you couldn’t help but revel in it for a while. “Please, y/n, want it so bad.” The begging was new to you, never having experienced it from someone else. You’d been on the other end of it before, but receiving it was a whole new level of gratification. You didn’t want to make him grovel for too long, but we’re certain to remember the feeling for next time, just to ensure you could experience it again. You didn’t have to make him wait, anyway, because your next orgasm was approaching fast.

“Oh, god.” You growled, the sound primal and your grasp on him feral.

“That’s it, princess.” He encouraged, his grip tightening again. Every feeling was euphoric, otherworldly, almost. You had yet to comprehend the truth of the situation, that you were actually with Sam, and not just in another daydream or fantasy. He was in front of you, inside you, with his hands all over your body and his name embedded into your tongue.

“Fuck!” You choked out, abdomen rigid as your muscles contracted. You uttered his name, a gentle allowance for him to cum, too. He pulled you into another kiss, silencing any further admissions. You couldn’t help but let a whimper out, muffled by his lips on yours. That was all it took for him to reach his peak, both of your orgasms crashing over you at once. His movement halted, his hands pulling you into him as he spilled his release into you.

You were a mess of tangled limbs, glistening with sweat and surrounded by muttered noises of pleasure. Long after the climax, even after your bodies were relaxed and recovered from the excitement, you were both still wrapped around each other with no sign of release. He rested inside you, fingers ghosting over the spot he’d been previously holding. Your palm was cupping his cheek, keeping him close with no intention of letting him go. His forehead was on yours, both of your eyes closed in bliss, basking in the comfort of each other for as long as you could. His lips were hovering over yours, tempted by the thought of kissing you again. You ended his internal debate, capturing him in a sweet kiss, wanting it just as bad.

Time passed, filled with kisses and whispers of adoration and appreciation for each other. It was tender, loving and inviting. It was a moment you wanted to live in forever without fear of ever losing it. His touch was gentle, like he was scared you were made of glass and he’d break you with one wrong move. He thought you were perfect enough to be framed, to be an exhibit in the most prestigious art museum, but even that wouldn’t do you any justice. He wanted to speak, to tell you everything he’d held back for so long, to show you that he felt the same for you and he was foolish for waiting so long. His silence was thick, heavy in the air. He’d fallen victim to his cowardice, the same way you and Jake had. So many feelings ready to burst at the seam, but never enough courage to speak them aloud. All three of you held the belief that if it was left unspoken, it would hurt less when the inevitable downfall occurred.

“Let’s get cleaned up?” He offered, but his chest ached at the thought of breaking from you. You gave a small nod, head heavy with exhaustion and intoxication. Instead of pulling away, he wrapped his arms around you with caution, carefully picking you up off the table. He carried you to the bathroom before he finally let you stand on your own.

You both cleaned up, ridding yourselves of the dirty act you had committed. An invitation of a shower bounced around your soul, but the fear of rejection was far too large to speak it into existence. Instead, when you were both ready, you led him to your bedroom. You searched for a moment, locating a t-shirt that hung down to your thighs. You slipped it over your head as Sam disappeared, likely in search of his own clothes. He returned a moment later clad in just his boxers, carrying the other articles of clothing in his hand. He discarded them on the floor again, not caring where they ended up. You were both caught in wordless comfort, not wanting to disturb the peace in fear of saying something wrong. You took a seat on the edge of the bed, holding a hand out for him to join. A small smile crossed his lips, happy at the idea that you wanted him to stay.

He disregarded your gesture, climbing in behind you and wrapping his arms around your torso. He gently pulled you back as he laid down, settling you in his arms, pressing you firmly against his chest. You let out a giggle of delight, content at the position. Even though your back was to him and you couldn’t see his face, you knew he had a grin plastered on his cheeks. He grabbed a fistful of blanket, carelessly pulling the comforter over you both. The warmth surrounded you with more welcome than you anticipated, the familiar feeling immediately prompting a wave of tiredness. The sound of slow breathing filled the room, heartbeats in sync and all worry subsided. Within moments, you’d both drifted into a slumber that not even an earthquake could disturb.

A little while later, you woke with a start. Shuffling behind you and the stab of cool air penetrated the aura of comfort you had created. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, groggy and disheveled from the deep slumber you had just been in. You looked up, noticing that Sam was cautiously climbing from the bed, trying not to disturb you. He didn’t notice your open eyes until he had pulled his shirt over his head and turned to check on you. “You’re leaving?” You asked, voice gravelly and laced with confusion.

“Oh, yeah. I have to get home.” He said, a note of sympathy ringing from him. It seemed like he wanted to disappear before any conversation could begin.

“Oh,” you said, trying not to let your disappointment show. Now that your eyes were fully open, your head was pounding from the hangover beginning. You cursed the wine for being so easy to drink, knowing you were in for a night of discomfort. “That’s okay. Thanks for coming over, it was nice.” You managed out, eyebrows furrowed from the pulse of pain beating against your skull. You tried to make the words sound as genuine as possible, not wanting any awkwardness to ruin the evening you shared. He pulled on his pants, then leaned down over you and placed a kiss to your lips.

“It was my pleasure.” He assured you, giving you a small smile. “I’ll see you soon?” You nodded, unable to fight back a smile in return.

“Yeah, text me later or whatever.” You tried to pass the comment off with nonchalance, but you were really hoping he would.

“Of course.” He said, kissing you once more. The temptation was just too strong to resist. With that, he straightened up, bidding a small goodbye and disappeared through your bedroom door. You pulled the blanket to your chest, feeling a fizzle of sadness spark in your heart. Perhaps the night you spent with Jake had conditioned you to believe that your entanglements were more than they actually were. In truth, they were nothing greater than messy hookups, even if you all had feelings buried deep below the surface.

You heard the front door shut followed by silence filling the home, screaming emptiness and seclusion again. You stayed stagnant for a moment, wondering if sleep was the best option to rid the looming sense of loneliness that made fast work at creeping back in. Instead of focusing on it, you crawled out of bed and faced the cool air. Your head ached as you stood, but you figured water and advil was the only sure way you would get any decent sleep. Plus, the thought of waking twice to the same violent hangover was too miserable to chance. So you trudged down the hallway, still slightly disoriented from the nap you couldn’t seem to pull yourself completely out of. When you saw the state of the kitchen, you felt the overwhelming urge to turn around and go back to bed.

There were papers strewn across the room, the table a mess of items that Sam had thrown into disarray. Your lingerie decorated the hardwood floor and the chair you and Sam had favoured was still a showpiece in the middle of the room. Your wine bottle that was barely broken into was begging you to take another sip, but you threw it in the fridge to fight the temptation. You grabbed a bottle of water, wasting no time chugging it down. The hydration felt nice, but it was no competition for the amount of alcohol you had consumed earlier that day. You searched the cabinet above your fridge for some painkillers, taking two and leaving the bottle out for the night.

You slowly picked up the mess of paper on your floor, neatly arranging it back on the table. You pushed the chair back in its place and collected the red lace that was taunting you with your bad decisions. Your focus fell back on the table, straightening some things up and making it look more presentable. As you finished the task, your eye caught sight of something laying underneath the stack of papers. You froze, eyes wide and heart thudding against your ribs. You reached out, slowly retrieving your phone from the mess. A sense of dread washed over you, scared to turn the screen on, realizing that you would likely be met by a plethora of missed messages from Jake. When Sam arrived, the whirlwind of events allowed for your previous arrangements with Jake to completely slip your mind. Or, perhaps you shoved them to the side intentionally. Either way, you were certain that the hours without a response hadn’t gone unnoticed, and you were certain he was not happy about it.

Part of you had a small thrill at the idea of him being pissed off, hoping the confrontation would turn into something quite enjoyable for you. There was a bigger, more imminent fear that he was genuinely just going to be angry at you, especially if he knew the reason as to why you were ignoring him. You were crushed at the idea of him being upset, even if his own game was the reason behind the hurt. As much as you hated to admit it, the feelings you had for him were very real and ran much deeper than lust. You tapped the screen, turning it on in an instant. When you registered the entirety of the missed notifications, your heart dropped. Two missed calls, and three texts.

You clicked the notification bars, nervous for the impact. The first two were light, mostly teasing you for the way he had ended the call. Then, when those went unanswered, he called. No voicemail, but you were sure he was tempted to leave one. Fifteen minutes later, he tried again. The second missed call really struck a nerve in him, because the third text came much later and was far heavier than the previous two. No loving undertone or lighthearted demeanour, just blunt and upfront.

Jacob

Have it your way, angel. Two can play that game.

Your stomach churned with unease, unsure exactly what he meant by the statement. Your ignoring him was not intentional, but after your behaviour earlier, there was no way in hell that he would believe you, now. Even if he did, how could you explain yourself without making yourself sound even more like a villain. You collapsed in the kitchen chair, head hung low and shame washing over you once again. You thought you ought to take the loss, move on and realize you messed up. Apologize, even, and rectify the mistake so hopefully he would accept it. But, the little devil was louder still, begging you to answer, pretend nothing happened at all just to feel his touch again, or even just to get him to call so you could hear his voice. Instead of doing either, you set your phone down, realizing it was best left alone until the morning.

You trudged back to bed, trying to rid yourself of the ache that settled in your bones. Most of it was due to the regret you felt about doing such a thing to Jake, but the other part because you felt like nothing more than a forgetful hookup to Sam. He’d been so loving during sex that it was almost earth-shattering when he seemed to be in so much of a rush to leave. With Jake, he stayed all night, tangled in your blankets and your heart, playing house for as long as he could. The sex with him was far from sweet, but the aftermath was astoundingly different. Your head was swimming, unsure of how to feel or how to know which was better. You closed your eyes, once again stuck in the rut of falling in love with the Kiszka’s. You begged for sleep, wondering if the despondent feeling would ever subside.

Rulers make bad lovers

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld @gretavansara @jaketlove @laneygvf @freefallthoughts

#gvf #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #sam gvf #danny wagner #gvf fic #jake gvf #josh gvf #danny gvf #greta van fleet angst #greta van fleet fluff #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet smut #gvf fanfiction #sam kiszka gvf #gvf x reader #gvf smut #jake kiska fic #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka series #jake kiszka gvf #sam kiszka smut #sam kiszka x y/n #sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka fic #gold dust woman #builtbybrokenbells

[karimimi]

hello @vflower-official and bunny fans on tumblr dot com.

(music for company) today i will be showing you how to make a paper bnuuy!!1!1!

step 0:

You will need a square piece of paper, so if you only have rectangles, make a diagonal across your paper so the top side aligns with the side like this, and cut off the excess (you can use it to make smaller bnuuys). if you do have a square, skip this step.

step 1:

make these 3 folds (2 diagonal, 1 in half)

step 2:

make the sides with the half fold touch in order to get this triangle, and then fold it flat.

step 3:

fold one layer of the free/bottom corners of the triangle towards the tip.

step 4:

take the corners of your new rhombus and fold them to the center.

step 5

put the upper corners inside the little slot the last fold made, then just stuff them in there however you can, do try to make it look clean

Would you look at that! You just finished the bottom part of the bunny, big proud.

#not finished #stupid mobile app #paper bnuuys #origami #origami tutorial #bunny #to be continued

[study-with-aura]

Thursday, March 21, 2024

I should be able to finish my current book tomorrow, but pictured is the book I will read next. It's a graphic novel, so it should only take me a couple of days at most.

It was interesting however comparing what I had planned to read next with something I read today as part of my studies. Hungry Ghost apparently dives into the topic of eating disorders according to the description I saw before adding it to my list. In the article I had to read today about self-control, I felt frustrated with how the writer of the article described self-control or lack thereof.

TW (eating disorders, disordered eating, religion):

The writer attributed gluttony, one of the seven deadly sins, to a lack of self-control. The writer is also a pastor at a church and went into how he could not even control his "idolatry worship" of food (gluttony) and he was called to lead the people at his church. It was very focused on how eating too much is a sin and it's a lack of self-control, when I know that for many, it is because of emotions or even physiological needs due to something being out of holistic alignment. It also made me worry that others who use this curriculum and take this course who may have issues with their weight whether that be because they are considered clinically overweight or obese or because they have an eating disorder could potentially make things worse for them mentally. I don't have an eating disorder, but I know someone in my dance class who went inpatient for one at the children's hospital a couple of years ago. Something about the article did not sit right with me, and whether it was the whole lack of self-control being a sin thing (which I personally do not believe in the case of many people who are considered above their "ideal" weight) or the whole good food bad food nonsense that was littered throughout the article, I'm not sure. Perhaps it was both, especially since eating disorders are often about control in some manner and can deal with the labeling of food as good or bad.

Article link

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Learned to construct equilateral triangles, squares, and special angles + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 21 vocabulary + read the first part of chapter 42 of Emma by Jane Austen

Spanish 2 - Copied new vocabulary

Bible I - Read Judges 16

World History - Read about Sigmund Freud + answered questions + completed the Nationalism in China, Turkey, and India assignment

Biology with Lab - Read and watched videos on how biological clocks indicate recent creation (creationist perspective)

Foundations - Read more on self-control + read another article displaying media bias + read a short scholarly paper about errors in history textbooks

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - None today

CLEP - None today

Streaming - Watched episode 3 of Life on Our Planet (evolutionist perspective)

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 282-330 of House of Salt and Sorrows by Erin A. Craig

Chores - Put away the dishes + took the trash out

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (Proverbs 16)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful for being able to see how beautiful nature is.

Quote of the Day:

The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing.

-Sigmund Freud

🎧Prelude in G sharp minor, Op. 11 No. 12 - Alexander Scriabin

#study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study community #study-with-aura

[yellowhollyhock]

day 19, the others go missing

tw implied past suicidal thoughts, and a whole lot of grief and mourning

okay so this piece. I can’t not use it. but it’s. hmmm

This is eventually going to be part of a much longer story. Or a scrapped scene that fits into a much longer story. As it is here is missing a lot of context, but that’s also kind of what I like about it? Might even use it as the eventual intro to this project with some polishing

But how it fits the prompt: this is a version of Raph who was separated from his brothers on mutation day and never found. It’s also a version of Raph whose earth has been terraformed by the Utroms. “The others go missing” in this case means, all of the others, for all time. He is alone.

Except he isn’t. You’ll be able to tell who of his new friends are… kind of. I won’t say what versions they are yet because someday that’ll be the story

One last almost necessary bit of context: this is a version of Raph who has knowledge he shouldn’t about alternate versions of himself.

The revelation was a random one; Raph didn’t expect anything to come from it. He could’ve predicted Don would have more questions; he always did.

“You don’t knit?”

“No, but I can sew. Where would I have learned to knit?”

A sad look passed over Don’s face.

“What did you sew?” Leo asked cheerfully, slinging his good arm over Raph’s shoulders.

“Mostly made old blankets, from whatever I could find.”

Like a switch had flipped, Leo’s expression turned sad like Donny’s. “I guess you never had a teddy bear collection.”

Raph was beginning to feel defensive. “I never had anything. I used what I could find.”

“I remember he’d make blankets out of grocery bags and old newspapers,” Angel muttered, “Bring them down to the mines. Saved a lot of lives.”

But Raph hadn’t saved lives, besides his own, and a handful of strays who’d returned the favor anyway.

“But you must have done something,” Mikey pressed, almost frantic. “Thinking about a Raph without, without any kind of outlet is, it’s not—“

He broke off, the memories crumbling like dust in his throat.

April put a hand on his shoulder, eyes crinkled with a fond melancholy. “Your brother drew, right?”

Mikey’s hanging head was the same as a nod.

Raph tilted his head back to look at the stars instead of the faces around him.

“I’d draw pictures in the stars while I was falling asleep. I didn’t know nothing about constellations.”

Don gave him a soft smile. “I used to wish my family goodnight on the stars. Tell us about some of your pictures?”

But the stars above Raph didn’t align with the ones he knew. “There was an octopus,” he tried to remember. “A motorcycle. A cat playing with a piece of garbage.”

But the old constellations were already fading from his mind, mixing with a thousand memories that weren’t his.

“I don’t know. These stars aren’t the same.”

The faces of his loved ones—a sight he’d never had before—took in the admission with a somber finality.

Raph broke it. In almost forty years of living on the empty streets of a dying world, he hadn’t picked up many skills, but it didn’t take a genius to break things.

He pointed to the sky, exactly like he had a hundred times, painting with his finger since he didn’t have a brush.

This was the first time he’d have someone to share it with.

“See those three bright ones, that make a triangle? There’s a hat. And if you follow…”

He traced along the smaller lights that made up his picture. His family’s faces followed.

“There’s a frog about to put it on.”

Mikey grinned at him, a rare and precious sight. “What’s the frog’s name?”

“Genghis.”

“I had a friend named Genghis Frog,” Don’s gaze stayed fixed where Raph had pointed, “It’s incredible, the different ways the same names and faces find their way into the universe.”

He glanced at Angel, almost apologetic. She just hummed thoughtfully.

“It is incredible.”

“Do you think there’s a universe out there,” Mikey asked softly, “Where we all stay together? After everything?”

“What’s everything?” April replied practically. “I’m sure we always stayed together for as long as we could.”

Raph blinked away tears, again for memories that weren’t his own. He searched the sky for something to give shape to his sadness.

“Nah, look at us,” Leo countered, “We found each other. What are the odds of that? I bet every one of our families had at least one universe where nothing could touch them. Where they lived forever and stayed together.”

Don gave him a quizzical look. “You want to live forever, Leo?”

“I don’t know.”

A beat of silence.

“Lately I’m thinking I don’t want to die.”

Mikey and Don exchanged grateful, triumphant looks. It wasn’t the end of the struggle, but for that to come from Leo that was a victory long fought for.

“There,” Raph pointed, “A row of ducklings.”

April laughed. “At least one of us has our ducks in a row.”

Raph felt himself smiling even though he didn’t understand. “Did you have ducks?”

“Oh, no, it’s just a saying.”

Mikey gave him a sideways look, face full of a new thought. “You had pets, right?”

“Course I did.” He didn’t add how his animal friends were all he’d really had, and he hadn’t exactly seen them as pets.

Mikey gave a satisfied nod. “Good.”

“You know, we could all learn to knit,” Leo suggested idly, leaning more heavily against Raph. He gave him a light shove; Leo seemed to forget he was taller and heavier than the rest of them.

“Why not?” Don grinned. “We have all the time in the world.”

Raph’s eyes fell from his canvas of stars to the quiet streets below.

Much less quiet than they had once been. A neighbor shuffled around on their porch. A couple of pedestrians chattered indistinctly.

It was more than he’d ever had before.

But it wasn’t all the time in the world. This wasn’t the second chance for him that it was for them.

They were the only brothers he’d ever known.

#tmnt idw #tmnt idw spoilers #it’s ver divergent from canon idw though #or from canon anything #i cant believe im doing this #tmnt stitched together au #that tag will be relevant someday #tmnt #tmnt raph #march for raph

[shihalyfie]

I wanted to know if you could explain what the Digimons attributes mean? Some Digimon are vaccine types, then theres data and virus and in some cases ive read about digimon having the free or variable type.. i thought it could be something like a typical strength-weakness thing but then i read a part of a wiki where it said that virus types and vaccines dont get along? So now im just lost about what it means

I am so confused im sorry this is probably a really stupid question haha

It's basically a game mechanic. You know how games will have elemental alignments, like for instance fire-aligned characters taking 2x damage from water attacks and fire attacks doing 0.5x damage against water-aligned characters? Virus/Data/Vaccine form a rock-paper-scissors relationship like that (Virus > Data > Vaccine > Virus). It's a defining feature for V-Pets, since it adds a factor regarding whether they have an advantage or disadvantage over their opponent besides just stats. and has been a franchise staple since the Pendulum 1.0, which introduced it as part of multiple factors that made Digimon raising more complex and interesting.

So every time Bandai or whatever comes up with a new Digimon, they'll usually assign an attribute type for it as part of the lore. There are times there'll be exceptions, and the old card game (Hyper Colosseum, not the new one) was kind of notorious about messing with these -- a good number of the "exceptions" chronicled on Wikimon are that game's fault -- but for the most part Digimon are pretty consistent with the typing you see on their Reference Book profile. Different attributes are often the major distinguishing factor between variants as well, so for instance the orange Greymon we all know from Adventure is Vaccine, while the blue one is Virus. Free Digimon are ones that aren't typed at all, so from a game perspective they give and take damage with no modifier; the most famous ones are the 02 quartet's Digimon (V-mon, Wormmon, Hawkmon, Armadimon) and the Armor Digimon, and Variable ones are ones that mimic their opponent's type when they battle (basically the Frontier Hybrid Digimon).

From a meta perspective, the attribute triangle corresponds to the Chaos-Neutral-Law alignment system in Shin Megami Tensei (which Digimon takes a lot of cues from), so that's why angelic or "holy" Digimon are usually associated with Vaccine while dark or edgier (?) Digimon are associated wtih Virus, and why you saw that comment about Vaccine and Virus Digimon often being portrayed as at odds with each other. Takato is implied to have made Guilmon a Virus type because, like many ten-year-olds, he thinks being edgy is cool. In theory, it should be an even rock-paper-scissors triangle, but in practice, the franchise is biased towards Vaccine types, because it has a tendency to portray most of its holy Digimon as unambiguously good while its chaotic dark Digimon are usually evil. (In comparison, Shin Megami Tensei's Law demons would often be even worse than the Chaos ones, because when taken to extremes Law vs. Chaos basically meant authoritarianism vs. anarchy.) Even the naming probably reflects that bias, since while there are a lot of positive chaotic entities, it’s hard to argue that a computer virus is likely to be good or beneficial. The Vaccine bias is a problem that's dated back all the way to the original Pendulums, since Vaccine was the default Ultimate and most commonly used type to the point it influenced the meta. It probably even says something that we didn't get a Virus-type Digimon as a main party character in the anime until Tamers.

(Weirdly enough, Digimon doesn't have any restraint portraying the dark side of Lawful behavior or even organized religion -- Yggdrasil being one of the franchise's most recurring antagonists is proof of that -- and it's also been comfortable with "sacred darkness" like Kouichi's Spirits, it's just that for some reason the actual typing doesn't reflect this.)

That said, typing has been irrelevant in the anime for the most part, probably because it really does have "game mechanic" written all over it, and also probably because being too stuck to it would limit storytelling options, so anime between 02 and Adventure: hasn't even included it on their Analyzer segments (a big deal was made out of Ghost Game bringing it back). It was brought up at the end of Adventure (as if driving home the franchise's Vaccine bias dating back all the way to here, everyone flips out negatively at the idea of Agumon evolving into a Virus type, which is then reinforced further with 02's MetalGreymon incident), and if you count Tamers battle statistics Guilmon/Terriermon/Renamon's win records and which Digimon they struggle against do seem to be mildly influenced by their Virus/Vaccine/Data typing, but that's about the most I can really think of in terms of story impact. Even the Sakurada series (Xros Wars, Adventure:, and Ghost Game), which tend to be really enthusiastic about Digimon null canon, haven't really delved much into it at all. So that's why Takeru's Patamon changing his type out of nowhere for no reason probably isn't that big of a deal, since most of the time Takeru will have him evolve into his Vaccine-typed angelic forms or the Free-typed Pegasmon anyway if they need to battle. But it still does play a big role in the V-Pets and console video games, and in the latter, party composition often depends on it. In fact, playing a console game often involves experiencing the franchise's Vaccine bias firsthand, because a lot of the time your party will end up full of Vaccine types without you even trying -- the infamous Demon Lord endgame quest in Cyber Sleuth basically depends on you having a party full of Vaccine types.

#digimon #timelessanimo #shiha's ask box

[altairtalisman]

Berine's Bio

"I'm nothing special, I swear..."

More details about Berine can be found under the cut

Name: Berine Nachtzweifel

Age: 981

Height: 167 cm

Birthday: 13 Unaiem 1041 (Zaeime)

Orientation: Cisgender Demisexual Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Species: Dullahan (formerly elf)

Title: The Sixth Dullahan

Country of Birth: Hannzein

Archive Deployment Branch: Steruleang

Likes: Seafood, manta rays (not as food), the New Moon Festival, blending into the background

Dislikes: Being the centre of attention, large-scale parties, her shoe size

Hobbies: Origami, reading, making bookmarks

Personality: Tends to downplay herself, to the extent that others aren't sure if she's seeking attention or genuinely sees herself as unimportant. Regardless, she's polite and pleasant to interact with, though emotionally astute individuals feel that she's deliberately like this to detach herself from forming relationships in general

Some have noted that she's extremely determined to not talk about her life prior to Balwirk (or really, her life in general), making her a mysterious individual. This secret-keeping nature of hers as well as her unwavering loyalty to Charles inadvertently led to the deaths of so many dullahans during the Balwirkian War... a secret she'll keep to her grave and beyond

Style: Somewhat formal clothes inspired by military uniforms along with belts and sturdy boots. Always wears a black half-face mask with four glittered blue and dark pink triangles branching out from the eye hole, as well as a pair of black, metal clad gloves with the centre bearing the Gráste symbol underneath enchanted convex glass pieces

Status: Alive

Abilities: Shadow manipulation, proficient in light and dark magic. Also has a natural resistance to any form of hypnosis/sleep/healing magic as well as all anaesthesics

Background: Born as Bertha Mondgnade, the oldest daughter of one of the two ruling families in 11th Century Hannzein, she was forced to flee to Balwirk when Hasso Relicht led the Lichteran in 1081. Due to her eye marking, which was an indication that she was a Mondgnade, she grew out her hair in order to cover her eye and took on the name Berine Nachtzweifel as it was impossible to hide that she was a night elf

Upon arriving in Balwirk in 1083, she had a chance encounter with Charles, who immediately assumed that she was a night elf seeking asylum in Balwirk and immediately provided her shelter with the noble Gráste family, who welcomed her with open arms. She was advised to keep a low profile in Balwirk as the majority opinion leant towards Hasso's favour, something which suited Berine as she never liked to stand out even when her family enjoyed a high status in Hannzein. Berine was soon tasked with the role as Charles' personal bodyguard from the shadows to align with her personality, something which she was eternally grateful for. Despite holding feelings for him, she carried out her duties faithfully and professionally from the shadows, and resolved to never confess to her saviour about it

In 1149, there were whispers of a radical group of elven researchers who sought ways to preserve life even after their heads had been severed from the neck. Emmet investigated into this matter but disappeared shortly afterwards, which prompted Charles to investigate into his disappearance due to his duties as a noble. In Vierum 1150, Charles informed Berine that he had a breakthrough in the investigation but he had to go alone. This alarmed her as she swore to protect the Gráste heir no matter what, but Charles wouldn't back down and made her promise to not shadow him

Charles never returned, something Berine blamed herself for and immediately sought to redeem herself by resigning from her position and leave the Grástes despite the latter considering her as family. Now on her own, she spent 11 years searching for him, aware that the culprits took great pains to cover their tracks. She had suspected that Cain was behind it, but could never tie him to any of the disappearances that kept occurring. Her investigation eventually led her to the Soféinaiths, though what struck out to her was the Erisros as they reminded her as members from one of the Relicht branches

To confirm her suspicions, she decided to hang around near the Soféinaiths in hopes of finding a suitable opportunity to befriend Fiona. What she didn't know was that Fiona was sickly and thus, couldn't step out of her room. While Berine was planning to enact more aggressive methods in meeting Fiona while avoiding coming into contact with the Erisros, the Soféinaiths learnt about her presence and proceeded to kidnap her for their experiment

Due to her natural resistance to anaesthetics, the elven researchers couldn't keep her down long enough and decided that it was much easier to kill her. Berine then overheard one of them remarking about how troublesome it would be for the nobles to escape, which led her to ask if Charles was still alive. When the answer given was yes, Berine struck a deal with the Soféinaiths: she would willingly participate in the experiment and not escape in exchange for putting her with Charles and to under no circumstances expose her left side of her face

Bewildered by the night elf's compliance, they hesitantly agreed to the latter's demands and conducted the experiment on her, not expecting her to actually survive. The researchers were impressed and terrified at Berine's sheer determination to live, nonetheless they adhered to their side of their agreement and placed her in the same room Charles and Eva were in after restraining her with chains. Once reunited, Berine explained that she suspected that Cain had something to do with the experiments. When questioned if she was being biased because he was an albino, she remained firm and said that though she couldn't pin down exactly what was wrong with him, it was definitely not because of his physical attributes

Charles and Eva then explained that the Rísachs and Soféinaiths were involved in the experiment, which was actually a gruesome and extreme way to save Gerald and Fiona, the former who was dying and the latter who was so sick that she might as well be dying herself. They both added that the chains drained them of their magic, preventing their escape. Berine said it was best not to escape given that the researchers would've done anything to keep their experiment secret, hiding that she had made a deal in order to be placed with Charles. Eva argued that they should in order to stop them from killing any more victims, with Charles subtly nodding in agreement

They all eventually agreed to not attempt to escape, with Eva the most reluctant. Finbar eventually joined them, which raised Berine's existing suspicion that Cain was behind the researchers' decision to kidnap nobles. While the remaining three didn't agree with this theory, Charles placed his trust in her and vowed to investigate into this matter once they were freed. Finbar shared that it was unlikely to be Cain as he had also disappeared, though ne admitted that at that point, the researchers were so far gone that it was unclear if Cain had influenced them prior to his disappearance

Years later, Addyson had stunned the researchers using her sound magic, which gave her enough time to free Berine and Finbar. Once they had found and freed all but Dylan and Fiona, they proceeded to kill the researchers. Berine had wanted to keep her hands dry, but had killed Gerald's father under the assumption that he was about to attack his own son. During the bloodbath, Dylan had participated in the killings while leading Fiona away from the corpses. In the process, his fringe was briefly exposed which revealed to Berine that he was indeed a Relicht

Once everything was over, the 16 dullahans gathered and discussed on their course of action. Despite their distaste towards the entire act, they kept the notes and studied it. Aileen was able to identify the flaws in the research notes, which cultivated in the alarmingly high mortality rate. Together with Eva, Hywel as well as Ilias' existing research on arcane magic, the trio was able to create a ritual that tapped onto Ratein's ley lines which made it safer to turn someone into a dullahan. Afterwards, they destroyed the original notes such that no one could ever attempt the cruel methods used to create dullahans again

Brianna and Danielle then pointed out that the very notion of turning someone into a dullahan was unthinkable, and sought to get an unanimous consensus that under no circumstances should the 16 turn others into dullahans unless the individual in question was prepared to bear the curse of being one. Berine agreed, though wondered if this would've saved her family. She wasn't surprised that Dylan agreed to not turn anyone into dullahans as given that he was living in Balwirk under a different identity, he was also on the run. Later on, she soon remembered who Dylan really was and wondered why he had to run, but decided to not follow up on it as she didn't want to bring hell back onto her doorstep

Berine returned to serve Charles while remaining in contact with Giselle and Brianna, the latter providing her with knowledge of the orphanage centuries later. Even though the Grástes welcomed both back with open arms, public opinion towards them were unfavourable and they were forcibly stripped of their nobility. Despite this, the Grástes did their best to serve the community. Following up on his promise, Charles worked alongside her and investigated into Cain. They eventually learnt that Cain was the reason to why the Unois Empire started and flourish, and that Berine was right in saying that the Eighth Dullahan wasn't who he seemed. They also discovered that Gerald was involved in morally bankrupt activities of his own and had contact with Cain sometime in 1472, but as the Fourth Dullahan didn't reach out to him, Charles decided to leave him alone

Not willing to alarm Balwirk despite the very real threat of an invasion, Charles wanted to keep Cain's betrayal a secret from everyone and resolve the matter on his own. He then asked Berine to keep it a secret, the latter reluctant as she had experienced firsthand how her family basically went extinct because they didn't know about the Relichts' true intentions. She eventually agreed, her fear of being exposed as the last Mondgnade outweighing her experience

On Trieme 1701, Berine was then subjected to reliving the same fear and bloodshed as during the Lichteran centuries before, and held in Charles in her arms as he died on the battlefield on 18 Rexim 1706. With her saviour dead, she went into hiding and constantly monitored Cain's activities, never acting any opportunities to kill him out of fear for being exposed. She had initially wanted to keep the orphanage safe as a way to honour Brianna's memory, especially since she secretly visited them a few times prior to the Balwirkian War, but her grief blinded her to numerous red flags, notably Ríonach's governess. Even so, she managed to track Ríonach down to Revaflez, but could only find the governess and imperialists' dead bodies

Overcome with the need to redeem herself for her shortcomings, she had planned on assassinating the prince after he killed Stella, whom she learnt that Giselle was fond of, but instead stumbled upon the troubling fact that he had access to telepathy which was supposed to be impossible for humans. She eventually discovered that the Domanras were working for the empire and thus, they were the reason why the prince could send out orders telepathically. Berine then proceeded to wipe out the Domanras, which in turn allowed Giselle to kill the prince on his birthday and thus, stirring up sentiments of rebellion amongst the conquered countries

The Sixth Dullahan soon came to a realisation that no matter what action she took, she would somehow ruin the lives of others. She decided to stay out of war affairs and lived with Hugh until Giselle personally sought her out in Alstas 1772 for her spying services. Berine was actually reluctant, but she kept on hearing her family, Charles and Brianna telling her to continue fighting against the empire and Cain. This, plus her fondness towards the Fifth Dullahan led to her agreeing to help Giselle with the war effort

After moving out of Hugh's place as she knew he didn't want any part of the war in his life, Berine proceeded to work in the shadows by providing the rebels with coordinates and key information that could help in the rebellion against the empire. After Giselle's death in 31 Dia'ae 1864, Emmet had gotten so drunk over the loss of his friend that he accidentally revealed to Berine that Gerald had betrayed the dullahans during the Balwirkian War, and mentioned that he had likely killed Charles personally. Berine wasn't sure how to deal with this information, but kept it a secret and pretended that Emmet hadn't said anything

On 4 Primna 1865, the empire officially fell to the rebels and Cain was killed at the cost of Emmet's life. Instead of celebrating with the rebels, she returned to Hannzein and was horrified to learn that inequality amongst humans, day, and night elves was so apparent and welcomed in her birth country. She was also horrified to learn that the remains of night elven nobility, once beacons of responsibility and virtue in Hannzein, were reduced to hedonistic sadism and the reason to why black markets flourished in the lowest levels

Having enough of inequality and cruelty, she snapped and pretended to be the ghost of herself, who was widely believed to be dead as her body wasn't found. She then played on the night elves' dormant resentment for being forced into living in the dark while the humans, day elves and even other species got to live above them. She continued to rouse their anger by reminding them that they were now considered the scum of the once glorious Hannzein, so much so that not even desperate non-elves were willing to seek refuge in the third level where the night elves resided

Now sufficiently angered, the Third Hannzein War broke out between the middle and lowest levels in 1934. Berine herself felt ashamed and dirty for inciting a war, and decided that she was no better than Hasso when he started the Lichteran and left Hannzein. She resumed her identity as Berine and found herself in Měnýdin in Trieme 1946, initially resolving to live a quiet life somewhere out in the fields where she couldn't harm anyone. Her resolve changed when she helped the then Steruleang Archivist out with a request, soon falling in love with the appeal of being surrounded by books and protecting knowledge from falling into the wrong hands

She recalled asking the archivist how did one determine those who are considered 'right' and 'wrong' when providing them with the knowledge that they sought for. The archivist answered that no one really knows, and that it was up to the archivist to determine whether or not they'll use their knowledge wisely. They also added that what was seen as wrong at the time may come to be right in the future, and that archivists shouldn't let their biases interfere when making that call

The archivist proceeded to declare that she would be the next archivist for Steruleang Archive as of her birthday in 1946, instantly retiring on the spot. The other archive employees welcomed her and threw her a birthday/welcome celebration, with Berine herself bewildered by the sudden turn of events and the other seemingly non-archive related duties such as confirming marriages. Forced to take on the role of the Steruleang Archivist, she resolved to protect knowledge from falling into the wrong hands... all in the hopes that one day, she might be truly redeemed for her mistakes

Former Appearance:

#Hallowed Hotel #Berine Nachtzweifel #tw scars #tw war mention #Altair draws

[liliallowed]

Been thinking about Y/N as a character recently and I've been thinking out some parallels they have to Slay the Princess. I know we are technically them, but the relationship we have with them as voices reminds me of the long quiet and the princess. We have shaped Y/N to be this way with our questions and asks. What little individuality they have is either multipled and made larger or erased by us. If we don't believe in their abilities they won't do it. If we believe they will. If they are slightly interested in Dust we shape them mold them to like him, like how the long quiet shapes the princess to love him the damsel route. We caused their curiosity that would ruin their life and yet molded them to a people pleasing pacifist that does little about it. We make insecurities from our own about how the other two feel about them and make them obsessed with the idea of being loved. They are lonely and isolated and have no experience because they technically have barley existed in this world without us and our word. We are the bugs in their head the grow and split and make new till the end of time whispering and molding them to our liking splitting their brain in two with our heavy words and comments. They have slight agency without us, but after a while they'll seem to realize they have no other purpose, and our will makes them whole. We are two separate creatures so close and yet so far on the plane of the power of knowing and existing, we are something they will never comprehend; and yet we whisper in their ear. This got very off topic lol sorry for rambling.

:D

yes! but unlike long quiet there is a limit on how much you can boost y/n's determination.

they won't become all powerful if they just believe in themselves. they will just be able to barely keep up with those two and then collapse out of exhaustion. they are still human. unlike crimson they have limits. (so does dust but LV boosts his magic)

and while they have potential, on a power scaling level they're considerably weaker than both dust and crimson. two trained killers with fast reflexes and a LOT of combat experience.

as for them not having other purposes... well? you're kinda right? but also y/n does have their own agency. they will react unprompted based on previous choices.

but yeah you did kinda shape them into this on a meta level. but I said it before. your asks aren't technically a seperate entity from y/n's own intrusive thoughts. they are conflicted but that doesn't mean they wont ignore some urges or be more keen on listening to others.

it is kinda funny since crimson also is an anomaly in that world that orbits around dust constantly wanting more excitement, but since I refuse to break the fourth wall (only cracks or only vague mentions) that's as far as I'll go. y/n is just a regular human with some problems. sure. you are technically whispering to them and changing the world. but how do you know it's not because you're controling them, but your choices happens to align with y/n's? they're still responsible for their actions. even if you willed it, they thought of it and acted on it.

y/n isn't a blank slate. y/n WILL make your choices even without your input. you just happen to go into a timeline where their choice was yours. in another timeline y/n never made that choice to free crimson and left dust.

in another timeline they clung to dust and they ended up together and dust finally could let down his gaurd and be at peace now that crimson was safety contained. no resets. no more killing... it was over.

another possibility is that y/n dies to dust and it doesn't reset, leaving dust alone.

those happy experience you think you've deprived y/n? yeah they're still there. but they're only accessable to readers. not the in-world characters. y/n can never do a true reset and have no lasting consequences. dust will KNOW it from their expression. but YOU technically can. you can jump between worlds. explore other stuff. the concept of lv triangle is extremely open to creative ideas! you can even plop in your self insert and like, think of choices YOU would make.

(of course it's hard to not know dust and not react accordingly. so just imagine some shady ass dude walks up to you with pretty eyes-)

(and yeah! feel free to make fluff or send small requests about those happy timelines! I'll see if I have time and write them!)

but unlike the other timelines this timeline seems to be going in a direction that both crimson and dust would be attached to you.

you're not controling fate you're just JUMPING to your desired outcome.

since this is an interactive fic, unlike a prewritten reader fic this one can take many turns! but like, poor dust. he's an anomaly magnet 😔/j

#lv triangle #answered asks #character analysis #thank you for this ask! #it was a treat to read!

[displayheartcode]

1, 3, 7, and 22 for Emmett and Rosu!! <3

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?

Emmett would love to forget the dull haze he was in after his childhood best friend was murdered. Imagine, you’re twelve and goofing off as you sneak into the fairgrounds, and while getting lost in a corn maze, you’re both dragged into a hellish pocket dimension where only one of you returns alive. Now, you’re the weird local kid related to a strange disappearance and you don’t know how to tell people that it was monsters.

On the flip side, Rosu would love to forget how badly he fumbled telling his high school girlfriend that A. he’s not human and B. Their town resides in a Bridgewater Triangle. Thanks to his poor communication, Marisol slid him a copy of Twilight for clarification.

3 . What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Rosu has the mentality of My way is the only correct choice. This is my moral high ground and I don’t care what the personal cost is.

Emmett lets his insecurities get the best of him, causing him to miss out on things like FRIENDSHIP and BEING SOCIAL. He is a clenched fist of repressed emotions.

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Emmett is a relatively new OC compared to others. The core of him has stayed the same since conception: a character that stays human, acts as the moral center of the cast, and is incredibly tired and Jewish. The cerebral palsy is the only new addition because I want more disability rep in the genre!

With Rosu, I like playing with the sliding scale of his selfishness. How much of his humanity is he willing to sacrifice, and because of that, how does he embrace (and detest) his growing vampirism. This is a character who wants to live but knows what the consequences are.

22. What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Emmett was thrown headfirst into knowing that gods and monsters are real. After avenging his friend’s murder, he struggles to figure out what he should do next, but his personal code of I must help those who feel powerless remains at the center. He’s lawful good.

Rosu is a slippery bastard and has also killed people. He understands that the normal laws of justice don’t apply to the supernatural, and that tough calls have to be made. (ex: He’s on Team Murder for complex cases while Emmett is Team There’s a Third Option We Have to Try.) Growing up with a witch for a mother, he knows the old rules and likes to find ways to twist them to his advantage – even as these prohibitions are placed on him the more powerful he becomes. He skirts between chaotic neutral and chaotic good.

ask me about my OCs

#orig #alecsalamander #they are the immovable object Vs object that’s constantly in motion #the nuisance to the supernatural and the supernatural nuisance #the Orpheus to his Eurydice #the vibe of cowboy partners with a secret best friend handshake #yes they end up married

[ladyxskywalker]

JULY 2022 (part one)

fandoms featured on this list; star wars, kenobi, the mandalorian, rogue one, & triple frontier 💫

thank you to the amazing fic writers for sharing some wonderful stories with all of us ! & to the kind readers for their support. 💙

please assume that all works & the blogs they belong to are 18+ only

mature adult content will be marked with a double asterisk **

be sure to check all warnings & tags before reading, feel free to skip if something isn't for you

& of course, enjoy responsibly

all the love xo A ☕

✨️ apologies for this month’s list being a little shorter than usual ! I had some things going on, so some of these are comfort reads, & repeats that I’ve read again, new things I’ve read, or various series that I’ve started. hope you enjoy ! & happy reading ! 🤗

please send me things to read ! favorite fics or something you've written that you're proud of ! 💌

find more monthly fic recs over on my masterlist, Aug 2022 coming soon ! ✨

please let me know if you would like to be removed

✨ new authors & characters added for the first time !

STAR WARS

✨ some authors are mentioned more than once throughout the list, check to see if your works are there !

✨ Anakin Skywalker

Stars, Hide Your Fires by @dearviper ao3 (sith!reader) (cw: major character death, mace windu)

Stay In My Memories (series) by @blxckmccn on ao3 (kenobi series) (inquisitor!f!reader) (canon divergence, lost memories, love triangle) (obi wan, anakin skywalker | darth vader) **

Stolen Moments by @full-time-make-believer, FullTimeMakeBeliever on ao3 (f!reader)

✨ Armitage Hux

Between the Wars by @mylifeisactuallyamess (f!reader, or gn!reader)

The Crystalline Knowledge of You (series) by @Irma7x on ao3 (practical magic au) (armitage hux, kylo ren) (f!reader) **

Prompts – Hux has baby fever by @mylifeisactuallyamess (cw: children, babies) (f!reader)

✨ Boba Fett

Arise, Ascend (series) by @zinzinina (f!reader) **

✨ Din Djarin

Brown Eyes (series) by @mandelirious (coffee shop au) (modern au)

Distracted by @ghostwiththemostbitch (sex pollen, consensual) (f!reader) **

Grogu’s Teacher (series) by @firstofficerwiggles (mand’alor!din) (f!reader)

Like A Moth to the Flame by @the-scandalorian (monster!dark!din) (dark beauty & the beast au) (f!reader) **

Skydalorian (series) (three works) by @celestial-alignment @Celestial_Alignment on ao3 (din x luke) **

The Mand’alor and the Jedi (series) (four works) by @theunacknowledged on ao3 (general)

You got me flowers? by @writingforcurrentobsessions

Prompts – ‘you deserve better than what you've got’ & ‘you're not at war anymore you could come home’ by @forever-rogue (f!reader)

✨ Kylo Ren

Mornings by @starsandroots (sir ren universe) (supreme leader!kylo) (wife!f!reader) **

Sparks and Embers (series) by @paper-n-ashes, paper_in_ashes on ao3 (kylo ren x ofc, poe dameron x ofc) **

✨ Obi Wan Kenobi

Daybreak by @zinzinina (cw: semi public sex) (tpm!obi) (f!reader) **

Dust to Dust, ii by @avarkriss (f!reader) **

The Language of Flowers (series) by @huffle-pissed (medieval au) (knight!obi)

Like Turning on the Light by @full-time-make-believer (f!reader) **

Made in the A.M. (series) by @strwrs @kittfisto on ao3 (gn!reader)

The Morning After by @scribble-dribble-writes

The River by @kittfisto on ao3 (gn!reader) **

Skin & Bones, ii by @hellotherekenobi **

Soft Family Fluff, ii, & iii by @forever-rogue (dad!obi wan) (wifef!reader) (cw:children)

✨ Padme Amidala

Stay In My Memories (series) by @blxckmccn on ao3 (kenobi series) (inquisitor!f!reader) (canon divergence, lost memories, love triangle) (obi wan, anakin skywalker, darth vader) **

[link under anakin skywalker ^^]

Prompts – Padme is feeling overwhelmed by taking care of the twins, Obi Wan is there for her by @labyrinth-runner (obidala)

✨ Paz Vizsla

Soulmate Prompts – your soulmate’s name appears as a tattoo by @ohheyitsokay (f!reader) **

✨ Poe Dameron

Back by @roanniom **

How We Fall by @uwingdispatch (gn!reader) **

It’s Always Belonged to You by @im-poe-dameron (f!reader) **

Quiet by @the-little-ewok (f!reader) **

Ten, Eleven, Twelve by @foxilayde (f!reader) **

Prompt – ‘I have the feeling that you’re trying not to kiss me and I give you permission to just do it.’ by @disabledameron (gn!reader)

ROGUE ONE

✨ Cassian Andor

A Story of A Princess by @storiesmadeofstars on ao3 (cassian andor x leia organa) (cw: children)

Departures by @storiesmadeofstars on ao3 (cassian andor x leia organa) (pre-rogue one)

Enemies to Lovers Prompt, ‘What do you want?!’ ‘You!’ by @autumnleaves1991-blog (f!reader) **

Steam, Domestic Intimacy Prompt, by @poeticandors

Tell the Galaxy A Tale by @storiesmadeofstars on ao3 (cassian andor & leia organa)

There Will Be A Time by @storiesmadeofstars on ao3 (cassian andor x leia organa) (canon divergence, post rogue one)

Unfaltering by @uwingdispatch (cw: chronic illness, pain, ptsd, implied sexual intimacy) (gn!reader) **

TRIPLE FRONTIER

✨ Benny Miller

Sunshine State (series) by @brewsterispunkk (f!reader) **

Words Unsaid, & Help From An Old Friend by @autumnleaves1991-blog (f!reader)

✨ Frankie Morales

Back on Your Feet (Fries & Peaches) by @the-blind-assassin-12 (f!reader)

The Flamingo & The Fish by @the-blind-assassin-12 (writer’s iron chef)

Frankie…Frankie from Across the Street by @icanbeyourjedi (f!reader) (cw: ptsd, fireworks, drinking, food) **

Paper Planes, ii by @hopeamarsu (soulmate au) (f!reader) **

Prompt – ‘I know you probably hate me right now, I get it.’ by @forever-rogue (f!reader)

✨ Santiago Garcia

Prompts – ‘I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kiss you’ by @dailyreverie (cw: alcohol)

✨ Will Miller

Wisteria & Moonlight (series) by @artemiseamoon (werewolf au, priestess!ofc) (original characters) **

** be sure to check out part two for moon knight, pedro pascal characters, & more multi fandom recs 📖

#star wars fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #rogue one fanfiction #triple frontier fanfiction #pxk monthly fic recs 💫 #pxk monthly reading list 💌

[chans-room]

1, 14, 23 😁

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

I think my favourite fic I started this year is Craving Connection 🥲 she’s my baby and I have so much planned for her this upcoming year. I have so many parts already written/made, but I just need to finish ONE PART FIRST but I’ve been dragging my feet on it since March lol

14. a fic you didn't expect to write

I absolutely did not expect to write Stolen Sunshine but I loveeee that fic and I love YOU for sending me the prompt!!! 🖤 My two braincells aligned and I turned what was supposed to be maybe 500 words into over 10k and maybe I have plans for a sequel who’s to say

23. fics you wanted to write but didn't

Luce. You have no idea how fucking extensive my wip list is lmao. But my three biggest fic regrets are not finishing Wolf Boy Channie, Blood Mage Hyunjin, and the Figure Skating DK/Changkyun love triangle 🤭 But the good news is that I’m planning on writing/finishing all three

#ask game #minttangerines #luce the number of wips I have makes me cringe

[autistic-robin]

ST5: Will’s central role, Stephen King’s Talisman, and “A Deal With God”

Volume 2 felt largely unfinished. It left us with a myriad of unresolved arcs— Mike, Will, and El’s love triangle, Max’s fight against depression and survivor’s guilt, Lucas’ worry for her, Dustin’s grief, and what I’ve started to affectionately refer to as the Stoncy Conundrum. Our characters lost everything, including their town, to the disease that is the Upside Down. And El wasn’t the cure— at least not on her own.

Something that caught my attention towards the end of the finale was the book Lucas was reading to Max in the hospital— Talisman by Stephen King. It’s a book about a twelve-year-old boy who goes on a journey to an alternate dimension to save his dying mother.

In this parallel dimension, most people have alter egos (exact copies of themselves) called twinners. Something that really gripped me was that if a person dies in the alternate universe, their twinner can still survive in the original one by “flipping” to that dimension. This reminded me of some of the unresolved questions from Volume 2 promo— most notably Finn making a joke during an interview with Caleb and Gaten. They were told to list off characters that fit into a certain description, but to only name characters once. Finn listed Will twice, and when the others corrected his “mistake,” he laughed and said that it was “a joke, not a mistake.” In another interview, Caleb was told to describe S4 in one word and said “traitor.” We never saw a plot-related betrayal in Volume 2. We were also told we’d get answers as to why Will was taken to the Upside Down but not killed right away.

It’s also worth noting that the Duffer Brothers are working on a TV show adaptation of this book. It could just be an easter egg to their involvment in the show’s production, but the similarities in plot make me think otherwise.

I’m not a theorist, but I’ve seen others posit (before S4) that Will could have died that day in the Upside Down, and that something else could have come back in his place. To me, this isn’t super plausible just because it would erase most of Will’s character development and leave the audience feeling unsatisfied with his character. After reading about Talisman, I think that maybe the real Will made it back, but his “twinner” survived and is in the Upside Down. We all know Vecna wanted to USE Will, not kill him— maybe he makes a deal with Will to swap their places. If the gang manages to close the gates to the Upside Down before the time jump, I’m thinking that maybe the real Will will help Vecna build the “New World” he references, and his twinner “flips” and takes his place, unbeknownst to the other characters.

Obviously, we don’t know much at all right now about how S5 will play out, but we do know this: they’ve already filmed much of episode 1, according to IMDB. This would make sense with the insane amount of time they spent filming S4, the pictures of Noah in his Cali outfit at the roller rink (which remain unexplained despite people guessing that maybe he just wanted to try the harness on in the other photo), and with the timeline that the Duffers finished outlining S5 while filming S4. It would also be in alignment with the cast’s comments about events and betrayals that never happened. If anyone else (like actual theorists unlike myself) has any ideas about this, please add onto it!

#byler s4 #st4 spoilers #byler theory #will byers has powers #will byers #st theory #stranger things 5 #stranger things 5 theory #mike wheeler i don't know what you are #byler

[goldengashes]

Hi, just wanted to ask will you be watching season 4 and what were your thoughts on both portwell and r*na's development? What about all of them as characters? I personally was rooting for r*na in season 1. But after watching most of season 2, I prefer portwell and probably won't watch season 3 after the mess they made. I'd have been okay with r*na if the narrative made sense but sorry to say Gina has been a "maybe" to Ricky. She picked the guy she wanted since S1, but she seems to forget he's not really deserving of her attention at all after he's blown her off and asked her for relationship advice knowing she liked him. Like come on do better girl.

hey, thanks for the ask! hope you're well, anon.

i'll answer this as briefly and structured as i possibly can but i highly doubt it lmao. possible rant ahead (?)

okay so s4... i can't say that i won't tune in because essentially, i'm a huge sofia wylie fan. i've loved her since andi mack and everything she's ever put out with disney, i've watched (plus sge). and aside from that, the s4 plot (the whole og hsm movie reunion thing/wildcats being extras on the movie) is being hyped up a lot and i'm intrigued to see how that plays out. outside of the triangle, i love kourtney, carlos, ash, jet and maddox as characters. i'd probably just scroll thru hsmtmts twitter posts/tumblr tags to see the scenes/discourse/takes and use it to determine whether i'd watch or not. i've abandoned more shows (esp ongoing ones) than i have finished so... we'll see.

if you want me to be honest, gina is the reason i shipped portwell. in s1, the only person from the core four i truly rooted for was gina. i couldn't care less about ricky, nini and ej characters and plotlines (plus their weird 'love triangle'). i wouldn't call myself a rina in s1, but i was rooting for gina's character to be more vulnerable and possibly finding romance. she's this tough girl who's never really fit in because she had to move so much and i truly sympathized with her. in that homecoming scene with ricky, i actually did feel chemistry between them. now looking back, it's probably just sofia and joshua's acting that made that scene more that it actually was. but by the end of s1, it's clear rini was that season's endgame. i mean, the main plot of s1 was ricky being in the play to get nini back. i also believe they were going to be endgame if olivia hadn't left. and before anyone says s2 was filmed before driver's license and sour blew up, i know! but just think about it: with 'all i want' doing well and blowing up on tiktok the previous year and olivia working with a producer at interscope records (not under disney) for her new album since 2020, i think she was planning to move on to music before the script was written. hence ricky and nini's plotline for a 'final' breakup.

moving on to s2... in s2, i didn't like how in 2a gina's whole storyline was crying/pining over ricky who doesn't really reach out to her after the one exercise where gina rejects him. up to 205, i understood ricky might've been conflicted and confused about gina's feelings for him, he had his relatioship with nini and his family drama to worry about. but since that whole 'plane crash' scene pretty much checks out as a confession, it just didn't make sense for ricky to act the way he did in 205. after the whole "if you and i were dating..." thing he pulled, i could not ship rina at all. all the doors i had open for them, i shut. he was so out of line and so disrespectful. he only cared about nini in that scene (while also stepping over nini's boundaries about being in the play). and c'mon, this boy at least knows gina and him are at this weird stage where they aren't purely friends and there's feelings involved. so why would he say that? now, when i saw ej and gina's scene in the same episode, they got me immediately. and it all sort of aligned with their history and personalities—overconfident, 'anti-hero', ex-scheming partners. now that i think about it, i didn't like rina before i loved portwell. and portwell? well, i think they're neat. midgame ship this, plot device that, i don't really mind. i'm thankful for their development in 2b because it was a breath of fresh air for someone who loves and roots for gina. and ej grew on me, too. in s1 he was this straight up himbo disney villain for but in s2 he was given more dimension in his character, had relatable struggles and we were shown a more vulnerable and attentive side to him. my top reason for shipping pw is the fact they started becoming better people together and they got each other because of that. the whole 'new ej' and 'gina 2.0' thing was probably a happy accident, hence why tim didn't really dig further into that. but on the other hand, they're different in a lot of ways. gina wants to settle down in one place and ej doesn't know what he wants—we even find that he wants to break free from the mold his dad wants him to be. i wish that would be something they help each other out with—he is her constant and comfort and she's the person who grounds and challenges him. instead, it becomes a point where they fail (looking at you, s3!). and whether you are a rina/pw anti, there's no denying ej treated gina like a queen in s2. portwell in 205-210 will always have me by the neck. and even though 211 and 212 makes me recoil, i personally don't blame ej for tapping out from their date with the whole 'brother' thing. just like gina, he's scared of putting himself out there to get hurt.

now, s3. i like to joke about the fact that it didn't exist but honestly? minus the triangle, it was pretty entertaining and funny. i liked maddox's character a lot in particular, she reminds me of me. i loved that kourtney has a character arc. i love ej more after watching s3, he's become one of my fav characters. now, i don't know if i'll get booed for this by the pws but i wish pw would have not been a couple while gina is still in hs. not because of the whole age gap thing (which is ridiculous), but i genuinely think they'd suit that bff-to-lovers slow burn. thank god i have tsbu because the way tsbu!pw plays out is exactly how i imagined it would be. but alas, we see portwell deteriorate in s3. and ofc it was painful to witness but less so because they felt off to me. they weren't really the s2 pw i knew and loved. trust me i don't say this bc they broke up, i say it's the lack of banter and moments of vulnerability (which they should have more of bc they're a couple here!). also the ej caswell i know would've broken the rules and took gina as a date, honestly. like, he literally gave a girl food poisoning so he can star in a show with nini. now, i do believe that gina and ej being in different phases of their lives was a good reason for their breakup, she's got 2 years of hs left and his world is getting bigger than just hs. i mean, like i said before, i wished they'd have that two-year, slow-burn best friends-to-lovers arc. my biggest problem with ej and gina's story was the execution. there were hundreds of ways to write them being right person/wrong time and they'd still mean a lot to each other etc. i'd actually be okay with them ending. but with the whole 'i can't be a maybe anymore' and 'can it really be over, if it never got the chance to start?' rubs me the wrong way. it's like tim really wanted everyone to see that ej is at fault here (despite whatever tim's saying in interviews) when he's doing all of this so his girlfriend and his friends would 1) have a great summer in this place that's really important to him and 2) have this great opportunity to be on disney+, which is a huge deal. specifically, for gina, he wanted to make a good show bc we all know how much finally being casted as a lead is important to her. ej could've just walked away, given up and let this thing fall into shambles, but he didn't. it didn't just cost him time with gina, it costed him his whole summer. it was all weird writing for me. and as for rina? firstly, i find it odd that the rinas were rooting for gina emotionally cheating on ej. even sofia said that gina's not that type of girl and she genuinely wanted her and ej to work. personally, i didn't find ricky pining for gina cute at all. ik a lot of people see it as a parallel for season 2a when gina secretly pines over ricky while he's still with nini. but the context here is different now, isn't it? gina never received a confession (or any sort of sign ricky wanted to be around her) before she got with ej. in fact, ricky was busy with lily and was close enough with her to spend summer with her and her parents in florida?? like i don't know, it just feels like ricky's feelings stemmed out of nowhere which made it seem shallow and not the epic love tim is pushing it to be. again, sofia and josh are great actors, the wdykal scene had so much chemistry but it was just that. the context/history of rina is extremely shallow to me. they needed val to say 'yup, he's genuinely heartsick' instead of just letting josh's acting show it. another thing i should mention is the instances where ricky was so passive-aggressive about ej and gina. the part where jet ran off and they needed a hans to sing liaod with anna (gina), he was going to volunteer to step in because he had feelings for her and was visibly pissed off when cordon told ej to sub for jet. and there's ricky slapping ej, which was an ick moment bc it made him seem entitled rather than badass.

lastly, that one shot of him finding out nini was at camp? "nini's here?" yeah? that one scene had more emotional fuel than ricky spending the whole two weeks max crushing on gina. it sort of set back the whole rina development, i have to say it.

speaking of nini, her sendoff wasn't as satisfying as i expected it to be. in s3, i'd prefer it if she moved to california because she got a record deal or something? since s3 was already so meta, that would've been much better than her moving out to cali because her moms wanted to. back to s1, i feel like she was your stereotypical shy, main character with the usual 'gaining confidence' arc and that arc was sort of boring and overdone for me. but in s2 i really enjoyed her branching out to songwriting and stepping side to help out others. plus, i think people skip over how awful ricky was to her as well. first, he takes a break and feels entitled to get her back and second, he genuinely started suffocating the poor girl in s2. well, at least he realized it, though. again, when people say rini was toxic, it's really just ricky. nini did nothing wrong in s1-2. i don't think the rose song was even about ricky, he just made it into something it wasn't supposed to be. i sincerely hope ricky loses this behaviour in s4.

anyway! end of rant. these are just my thoughts. if anyone agrees or disagrees, it's up to them. i genuinely hope gina is happy next season, bc before i was a pw stan i was a gina stan (even though she was a little ooc in s3). if it means rina being happy, i won't be so mad. at the end of the day, this is just a silly disney show and it’s all for entertainment. i do love portwell but i rather tim never touch them again, honestly. canon pw is already ruined for me, though i wouldn't mind a proper portwell closure scene in s4.

that was a lot more words than i expected lmaoo, but if anyone read all of that, cool! if not, that's cool, too. it was very cathartic.

#hsmtmts #gina porter #nini salazar roberts #ej caswell #ricky bowen #portwell #anti rina #just my thoughts

[pogued]

Tbh the worst part of s3 wasn't the existence of Jiara but how much they ruined Jj and Kie. Rudy wasn't acting very well, or at least, he wasn't acting like Jj. He was a completely new character , a typical teen drama leading man who's designed to be a sad heartthrob for teenagers. And well, Kie, she was reduced to a completely flat character. Maddie didn't look into any of the Jiara scenes either lol

idk man, jiara canon is cutting a close tie with the sarah-topper ordeal because in both situations, they tarnished characters and dynamics that have become a vital pillar to this show's existence. maybe I'm biased cause Sarah was my favorite character in s2 and in this season it's like they didn't know what to do with her so they made her the bad guy for what?? anyway, jiara was a big part of what went wrong with s3 because it was made out to be this big thing and then was executed.. like that…. they had to change their characters in order to make it work and it still didn't. like let's get back to writing good narratives that align with the material thus far and stop trying to fit a triangle piece into a circle hole for the sake of fan service for the love of christ!! but unfortunately, this won't even serve as a lesson to anyone which is the most frustrating part of all it, because they got the views… they got the engagement, they got the renewal despite writing the worst season so far. I just hope they don't get a fifth.

#answered #anti jiara

[silverskye]

Hello everyone! This will be a new introduction to the blog and myself. I’ve always wanted to do a new intro and hopefully meet some cool people. My name is Jess and I am in my mid-twenties. I’m not new to tumblr and have been on this site for years, this blog is somewhat new. 

 A little about my interests I enjoy anime, (k)dramas, k-pop, video games, self-care, journaling, and of course writing. I consider myself to be shy & an introvert. I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone and talk to mutuals, it’s easier said than done. I’m always up for conversations about our aligned interests or just to say hello. 

I am looking for mutual blogs that have the same interest as me, as well as blogs that love to write and don’t mind being mutual with a multifandom blog.

K-Pop: I’ll start by staying I’m a multistan. I adore a lot of groups and try to keep up with every one of them, tho it can be trying and hard at times. Here are a few groups that I enjoy and try to keep up with - Kard, BlackPink, Monsta X, Shinee, BTS, Stray Kids, Seventeen, Victon, Twice, Red Velvet, The Rose, Xdinary Heroes & many more. I am more consistent when it comes to solos and bands.  

Anime:  I haven’t been an anime fan for long, maybe 3 years, but have found a lot of great shows that have made me really happy, or you know cry a few times. Oh!! sometimes I do anime reviews on my blog or randomly talk about episodes. Here are a few of my favorites: Fruits Basket, Free!, Cardfight Vanguard Overdress, Food Wars!, Boruto, Burning Kabaddi, Idolish7,  Aoashi, A3!, K, Jujutsu Kaisen, Moriarty the Patriot, Sasaki and Miyano, Yu-Gi-Oh!, The Case Study of Vanitas, Spy x Family & many more.

Gaming: Final Fantasy 15, Final Fantasy 7 & FF&R, FF Crisis Core, The Legend of Zelda (all games), God of War, Ghost of Tashima, The Last of us, Horizon Zero Dawn, Assassin’s Creed (1 - 4 & Unity), Genshin Impact, Obey me!, Resident Evil, Animal Crossing & many more.

Video games have always been apart of my life, even if I take a break from the gaming world I always return. I love retro games like Castelvania, Spyro, Crash bandicoot, Majora’s Mask, Ocarina of Time, Duck Hunt ect. I am a big nintendo fan and currently playing Triangle Strategy. 

Writing: Currently I am taking a break from writing, but do occasionally share random facts about my ocs, and sometimes I like to look for pic crews to create how I imagine how they look like. I like writing about relationships between people, mostly platonic, tho I don’t mind romance between characters, it can lead to a lot of chemistry and love that doesn’t have to lead to a romantic relationship. I am mostly interested in writing relationships between people, how close people are able to be beyond normal standards in our society. I believe people are able to be really close and have a sense of feeling like they’re soulmates, but without the romance, or intimate details that could with romance. (I don’t know if that makes any sense.) 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to like or comment. Have a great day!!

#looking for mutuals #looking for moots #looking for friends #intro #writeblr #this is a mess but i'm okay with it being a mess #kpop mutuals #writing mutuals

[zalrb]

the funniest thing about belly is that she has absolutely no self awareness. like there are so many moments (a lot in s1 as well) where she seems genuinely excited abt the triangle and the mess and she’s completely oblivious to the fact that she’s destroying jere and conrad’s relationship (although tbf its not like the show spends time on their relationship outside of belly so it doesn’t have the effect it should. but like objectively they’re brothers) or she’s hurting whatever brother she doesn’t choose at the time. like its hard for me to feel bad about conrad because if i was jere i would NEVER get over what they did, like on the day he finds out his mother has cancer his gf kisses his brother after he’s already felt insecure about conrad all his life??? JAIL. idc abt jere but like. id be mad for more than 2 days. and the thing about belly is that they insist that she hasn’t really gotten attention from guys before the s1 summer when she had a ‘glow up’ like she has a whole voiceover about how taylor is the one they look at in school and then in the summer group she is consistently ignored and sidelined because shes the youngest so i get why she would be so into the mess but w belly a lot of it doesn’t seem to register as real life. like we’re told she’s fantasized about conrad all her life and that she’s a dreamer so i think it would’ve been much more fun if the lack of self awareness was tied down to this and she saw the boys more like romanticized ideas instead of real people. its still cliche but i wouldve liked her more if they went in this direction instead of belly does horrible things for no reason

and i've been the friend that's pushed to the sidelines and that all the boys ignore and that none of the girls really care to talk to and if i felt like in season 1 the show would execute that well then it would make belly's actions make sense but even in this recap "it's in the voiceover" "they insist" and my problem with voiceovers is that it's lazy and it doesn't actually align me more with a character, which is what they're meant to do, it just makes a character (mostly because they're mostly done wrong) more alienating. i would need to see that in action.

i need blair and serena walking down the street and two guys look at them and blair rolls her eyes and is like 'i almost forgot what it's like hanging out with you', i need to see a situation where like belly and taylor and their friends are at an end of the year party and belly's the one watching her friends' purses or whatever because one by one guys ask her friends to dance or go somewhere and no one's asking her and taylor is like no i can't leave my girl and so his friend has to wrangle up another friend and that just makes belly feel worse. i need to FEEL her humiliation or feel the way she's been overlooked so that when she's not really thinking about the consequences of her actions and just reveling in all this new attention she's getting i'm like, she has ZERO self-awareness but i get it. like i said, i haven't watched season 1 but i HIGHLY doubt that we really live with who belly was before "she turned pretty" to really feel it when she starts behaving this way.

and with jere i mean sure but it's really the same problems. i doubt in season 1 i would also see why exactly jere would be so insecure about conrad because conrad really comes across as just a guy but ok conceptually speaking he finds out his own version of conrad - belly kissed his brother the day he found out his mother had cancer but conrad didn't know that he and belly kissed first. this seems more like a belly problem than a belly AND conrad issue. and if the point is that it's basically joey when jen comes to town and he just needs somewhere to put it so he's just mad and it's exacerbated by the fact that conrad knew their mother had cancer and said nothing and jere just feels like he's been made an idiot in every possible way but he's such a good guy that he gives his blessing anyway and deals with it silently when they are together i'll need more than voiceovers and one line of dialogue because i won't be able to rely on the acting.