#i lowkey hate myself for writing this

[collisvng]

sitting here debating whether or not to drop this today or keep it in my vault of wips forever...

#➴collisvng thoughts ✨️ #han jisung #brainrot is so real #idk if i like this or hate it #but i'm lowkey making myself cry over it #the eclispe was too pretty to not write about #i fear

[aclowntiny]

Question for all who see this: how petty would it be to update my rules to exclude AUs I hate

#writing stuff #not kpop #marti talks too much #there’s just like 2 in particular I cannot stand I’m sorry 💀 #in my inbox right now is one AU request that is so chef’s kiss I will smooch requester & another that I will not be touching lmao #I can’t stand ‘6th/9th/8th/14th what have you member’ where the group just has one token female randomly inserted in #like that’s so unrealistic to the industry & I get it a fantasy but I find it so stupid I’m sorry 😭 #no problem with it just won’t make it myself #I hate writing idol AUs too it feels so exclusive to like 99% of readers that would not be idols/be seen as having a place in the industry #like as a not skinny non-asian person why would I be a kpop idol??? it feels so unrealistic why can’t I be some other type of artist #I’m sorry if y’all read these tags & hate me 😔 I’m not trying to shade other writers I just personally do not vibe with those AUs #especially as someone who’s been dealing with a lot of weight shaming from my supposed ‘best friend’ #the thought of being in the idol industry at all is lowkey triggering 💀

[seventh-district]

it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!

#Seven.txt #my face #i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post #i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this #hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom #anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨ #the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good #so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh #and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans #we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good #okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more- #-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee #now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :) #man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually #uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life #its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete #even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it! #if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it #fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good #in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that #i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies #like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out… #anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!! #after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again #but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is #so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go- #Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo! #i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!) #anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part #for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)

[anccaku]

I had a… particularly terrifying and gross dream and now I want to write Illumi smut. Like I don’t want to get into details… I’m just suddenly a little inspired.

But idk if I should go all in like in my dream or “tone it down”. Hmm.

#I love how I went #‘I had a lowkey nightmare let me write smut about it’ #the zoldycks were involved so that’s why illumi #ughh I hate to censor myself #but I don’t want to get death treats

[venussaidso]

I keep seeing 'this is the real Cho yeong, this is really who she is' on kdrama Twitter (which, I know, they have some of the worst takes over there), and I just find it kinda gross? Just as gross as Master Lee erasing what's unnecessary. It immediately invalidates her entire backstory from when she was a child — it invalidates her entire being as we know it. Like, no, this is just an alternative version of Cho yeong who hasn't lived the experiences of the real Cho yeong. So it doesn't make her the 'real Cho yeong', does it? Because; (1) Her memories were taken away from her (without her permission at all), thereby her experiences were taken away, (2) she was pretty much forced to woke up as someone else that's not even her — Buyeon. So I'm not really following this narrative.

So, no, this isn't the 'real Cho yeong'. This is Cho yeong without the real Cho yeong's life story. I want you to imagine someone telling you that you aren't the 'real you' just because you went through the things you went through... You get it now?

I'm not sure if this is the narrative the writers are going for, because it's genuinely cringe. Why give Naksu the backstory she has if you're immediately going to invalidate that backstory that shaped her as who she is in the first place? And say, 'no, this is the real her'. If that's the real her, you should've given her to us from the start? Why would her backstory matter, then? That would genuinely be bad writing, the worst kind.

The Hong Sisters are already gross for having Naksu still in Buyeon's body. Something tells me they're gross enough to be on this narrative as well; that would be them believing that Master Lee erased what was 'unnecessary'. That's not right.

#alchemy of souls #alchemy of souls light and shadow #cho yeong #buyeon #naksu #mudeok #everyday I'm reading brainrot... then I pause and remind myself that the drama causes braiNROT ANYWaY! #because the writing is still so bad but if kdrama takes and theories are proven to be right in aos then my god #the writing would be at the FLOOR #i see way too much praise towards the hong sisters btw when they're one of the worst writers out there holy sh— #and they lowkey hate their female characters so i can see this narrative being true in their story #ohmygod they would be so gross for that...

[vulpinesaint]

sorry for talking about the fact that i work with kids so much. i spend several hours every weekday with children and do not do much else except come on here and talk so you can imagine how it is a significant part of my life and personality by now

#morning and afternoon shift combos too... #three hours with the kids in the morning. go home. come BACK for four more hours with the kids... #childcare sandwich. my day consumed and overrun by children on all sides #it's this and the reading and writing and sometimes the music i don't have much else going on 😭 #valentine notes #anyway if you did not know. i work for a before and after school care program for elementary schoolers #and!!!! as a summer camp counselor!!! now that summer's coming back around!!!!!!! #which i'm so excited for. lowkey highkey going to kill myself a little bit if i have to spend Any more time with the people i work with now #kids are fine i literally get paid to deal with them. HATE the majority of these adults though #i need to be reunited with the staff at the other location with whom i am all friends... #cruelly torn away from my summer camp counselor beach volleyball buddies every day of the school year #to work with the shitty people they send over here. heartbreaking #anyway

[danny-chase]

is geoff johns run on the Teen Titans considered good by people?

#i read the first thirty issues and genuinely thought it was bad and cringe and that the man has never spoken to a teenager in his life #other than maybe having like a kid egg his car or something #because to me it feels like he writes all teenagers with the same strokes off: life is depressing being a teen sucks nothing good happens #which... like i guess would be fine if he did that for like 1 character but he did it with characters that weren't like that? #and made it so the titans barely felt like a family... the younger titans felt like kids forced to be at a summer camp who lowkey hated #each other and resented being there in the first place #like they kinda grew out of that but like. idk they just felt estranged from one another and always felt to me in the issues i read #that they 1) didn't respect what being a titan meant 2) were happy to throw stones at old 'crazy' titans 3) were miserable ppl with drama #that i couldn't get invested in because it was so stupid #like we have: tim 'you don't know how hard it is to lie to your dad' drake #cassie 'i'm here to be the female representative of my generation and it shows' sandsmark #bart 'i read a lot of books and it got rid of my entire personality and fundamentally changed my characterization for the worse' allen #and conner 'whines about kansas and thinks outcomes are determined by your genetics' kent #like sorry i was messed up when i was a teen but like... i would have never sympathized or seen myself in these kids...

[vvanessaives]

🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊 for nix <3

MY SPAGHETTI BOY CHICKEN BOY. thank you hil <;33

as a kid he was uncharacteristically quiet and introverted. tancred and ephraim needed to like...pull the words out of him. talking with strangers/other people in general? big NO-NO. tancred did the most talking for him. funny how he grew to be unable to shut up

still dwelling a lil on his past self: when he entered his fuckboy era (sighs. i didn't raise him to be a fuckboy) and used to sleep around a lot with random people, he created a rule that he basically broke only when he met vesper: no kissing with one night stands. it simply bothers him to kiss and get kissed by strangers, and makes everything a little too intimate for his tastes.

he has a perfect pronunciation of english. he can fake a super stereotypical italian accent if he wants to fuck around but truth is you probably wouldn't know english is not his first language, still his words have some kind of edge you know. the voice. the tone. the italian flavour. meanwhile his italian has a more pronounced accent (apulian, legend of province of bari, my bestie)

not very surprisingly, he doesn't get along with many of vesper's friends which hated/hate him (uh..jackie..rogue, well deserved in this case..johnny, if we want to call him a friend fndkjf). very surprisingly, the only one that likes him is kerry (panam…tolerates him because she knows how to put him back in his place), probably because kerry is already used to dealing with assholes so he's like haha boy you're funny, you remind me of someone. also fenix hates johnny so he declared that kerry is ten times more skilled with music than johnny ever was, kerry is very pleased :)

while he's a shitty cook he's very pretentious with what he eats. always has criticism to offer (who asked u boy) especially when it's about italian food. he talked with goro maybe 2 times tops and one of these occassions saw the both of them bitching about night city's food. he's trying to learn how to improve his cooking skills but, in his own words, he could've been born a chef or a dramatically good looking man. his brother knows how to cook and he's the handsome sibling, he's happy with what he has fkdjfkl

🖊 + oc to hear me ramble about them

#ask #ask games #faarkas #oc: fenix #me with glossy eyes & unspeakable affection and pointing at him: he's...he is.. sniff sobs...he's such an asshole #also the fenix is hated by everyone agenda my beloved. nfdskjf he's just...difficult to understand at first but you can warm up to his #lowkey shitty ways :) unless he hates u that's when he brings the worst to the table. also i was so close to write 'he's very good with his #tongue' in that language part but..that..THAT WOULD SOUND WRONG SKJDFNSK idk how to explain myself but he has a way to switch #on and off his ways of speaking and tone and accent etc etc like he's just..very good........with his voice..............?? JKFHSKDJFHN #and extremely good with impressions of other ppl so like. A SKILL!!! disaster man has a skill breaking news fr #THANK YOU HILARY ILY MWAH <33

[loveshard]

i’m done being social for the rest of the week, so i’ll be here for the rest of the night, slowly chipping away at drafts and ask memes!

#i lowkey thought all my writing partners hated me so i'm forcing myself to write to stop being so self conscious #why does my own mind betray me #ooc: mun post.

[daisychainsandbowties]

i love writing star wars au bealil because they both have love languages that above all else do NOT involve speaking to each other, but instead demonstrating affection in the most bitchy and aggressively unhelpful way possible 

#they'll just terrorise each other the whole scene but in the narration i have mutually assured adoration/destruction on blast #& then one (1) bad thing will happen to bea and lilith will turn into the jealous dragon companion from any dragon-centric story #i hate you but ONLY me. no one else. #wn star wars au #anyway i have to yell about them or i'll die thanks #sorry but lilith is lowkey temeraire from the his majesty's dragon books BUT if tem was never shown one scrap of affection #campaign to get lilith a laurence #also SHUT UP but i could see myself writing a wn au where the lads have dragons like in temeraire #if anyone is interested in that lmk i would LOVE to write that

[botw-oneshots-and-other-bs]

@coconut-mocha for giving me this idea. Thanks. I simultaneously hate it and love it. Well, enjoy this slightly suggestive short story about the Duolingo Owl!!

Duolingo stared down at the person chained against the wall. The chains were clad in the flags of every different language the owl knew, and by god did he LOVE rubbing it in anyone's face that he knew so many. His beak was hard and yet moved into a seeming smirk forcing a chill to run down your spine.

"Hoot hoot my dearest," he drawled out slowly, his wing moving to touch himself. He then proceeded to speak in Italian, a language you had been studying - or was supposed to be studying. This is kind of how you got in this situation in the first place.

You missed one day and broke your streak. The next thing you knew you were chained against the wall in God knows where staring up at the lime green owl.

"I'm sorry Duolingo Owl... I dont know what you said," you whispered, wincing when he brought a wing down to slap your face.

"Maybe if you studied you would know! No matter..." he unsheathed a slimy tentacle like member from his lower region. His eyes cold as he shoved it in your mouth drawing a tear. "I said I am going to fill your mouth with every language imaginable."

#Duolingo #duolingo owl #duolingo owl x reader #yandere!Duolingo owl #i hate myself #why was this born #im cursed #i love it #lowkey wanna write more of it

[moonshinaes]

sometimes i just read through my blog and look at my replies ,, like .. how do half of my followers stand to write with me …

#i’m literally like . lowkey doubting myself #because i hate everything I WRITE

[starshine-selfships]

Certified gayboy moment

#I'm gonna need a lot of editing to get this exactly where i want it but this is THRILLING #you know what. idc if this flops it's so much writing and I'm writing it for my audience of myself 😤 #shoutout to that one time i wrote a fic that 1) someone read and 2) told me it was good #what do you MEAN people interact with my content 😳👉👈 #trying very hard with this one to strike a balance between ''he hates people and they lowkey trigger him a little'' and also #''he is bonding and making his first friend and is also feeling less afraid'' it's exposure therapy for the most unstable man in the world #am i making sense? no <3 #star speaks

[noxtivagus]

HELP no one talk to me rn /lh i'm in such a flirty mood for no reason, i'll flirt w anyone n everyone rn 😭😭

#🌙 rambles #LOWKEY SICK OF BEING SINGLE I KINDA WANT TO FALL IN LOVE ??? #but... studies first ig... sob #this is why star-crossed lovers & soulmates are my fave tropes... #IT'S FINE I'LL LOVE MYSELF AS I'VE ALWAYS DONE #being in an all-girls school made me a hopeless romantic and i hate it /hj #/hj bcs the tragedy feels kinda nice actually /lh 😭 #my discord status rn is: if i call u cute that means ur allowed to kiss me #bruh can someone volunteer to be my kitten or smth #let me practice flirting on you or smth #HHHHHH that's all a joke #i shld head to sleep soon bcs i'm going out tmrrw #but seriously tho #how do ppl even get into relationships. do romantic relationships even exist. does mutual pining exist #nah not that i want to fall in love tho nah #i wrote a bit more today and read some of my old writing so i guess that's why i'm like this rn #i'm just so baffled bcs i remembered that i have a friend that #a friend in another school and she has an s/o !?! and ik she has a friend as well that already had an s/o way back in middle school #DAMN HOW DOES THAT WORK ? #being an independent person kinda sucks sometimes #i'm afraid of getting attached but yk #i'm not against someone falling for me first 👉🏻👈🏻 #ignore me 💀

[4izawas]

i need to be saved, my sister has begun supernatural

#rem is typing ..! #i just finished s1 w her bc she demands watching it w me #we all get hit w it in our teens fr #i hate that i’m lowkey enjoying myself #she also told me i should write a random dean fic drop it on y’all and log out for a week just to see what would happen #had me giggling fr #‘take THAT’ *shoves 3d man balls in ur face*

[theirloveisgross]

.

#First week of working only morning shifts because I can't stand customers in general but in the afternoon is really bad ahdjhahs #Before I was having morning shifts and afternoon shifts sort of mixed up but yeah... It was so hard to go to work in the afternoon #Even if sleeping in was nice #Anyway... I'll be off early #And I'm gonna get used to the energy I guess #Right now I just want to go back to sleep #But gotta do a stupid self tape #I will force myself not to take naps #Have so much shit to do before my friend moves in in 2 weeks #Yes this is my diary now. Prefer to leave it in the void. Keep scrolling #(I lowkey like when fellow tumblrinas write their diary entries in tag form) #(lol staff must hate that... The way that we've been using this feature this way for so long. I always think about it... Anyway)