#i love they are vastly different in terms of moral

[arolesbianism]

You know if anyone ever thinks that I maybe go a lil overboard with my Olivia characterisation sometimes just know that it could be so much worse. You could be reading abt my alternate timeline Olivia thoughts

#rat rambles #oni posting #theyre mostly just concepts rn since its less proper au stuff and more me playing around with the themes in my head #basically me playing around with different timelines that seem vastly different and yet are so overlapped anyways #so we have main timeline olivia aka rat timeline and then we have rabbit timeline and raccoon timeline #both olivias from the latter two are the fucked up alt olivias that Im referring to here lol #in simple terms theyre functionally just what if the two met much earlier or much later in life #but out of universe theyre sort of my explorations of the other sides of olivia and her relationship with jackie #in my minds eye your average olivia exists on a triangle with the points being motivated by love motivated by rage and motivated by morals #canon olivia is morals rage leaning but slightly more morals #bunny timeline olivia is love rage leaning and raccoon timeline is basically fully rage #it's more complicated than that ofc but this isnt smth Im probably going to go too in depth on here #mostly because it's mostly just an elaborate olivia writing exercise and as such kinda boring to explain I think

[morallyinept]

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS - A Frankie Morales Christmas One Shot

Summary: Frankie is facing the prospect of a lonely Christmas, and this time of year is particularly difficult for him with maintaining his sobriety. He and the Miller brothers go to a bar on Christmas Eve for festive drinks, and perhaps a chance encounter with you might make Frankie believe again in the magic of Christmas.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader (No name or physical description of reader. It’s you, bub.)

Word Count: 5.9k

Scoville Smut Rating: None, it's fluff. You're safe.

Check out my Scoville Smut Ratings here.

Warnings/triggers - None, this is pure Frankie fluff. The only warning is tooth rot from how sweet it is.

NSFW. MINORS DNI! OVER 18’s ONLY. YOU ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ. ☝🏻Don’t come at me; you’ve been plenty warned.

If this story isn't for you, that's fine. Just slip quietly out the back door. No need to make a fuss. It's just a work of fiction.

Author’s Note: This might be one of my favourite stories in this Christmas story collection. I love writing some angsty fluff for my boys. 🥰 Cameo's from the Miller brothers too.

12 DAYS OF XXX-MAS MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

Enjoy & Happy Holidays! 🎄🖤

Laughter and festive music spills onto the wet sidewalk from restaurants and bars; a whiff of seasonal spices and cooked meats waft in the air.

Neon lights reflect back into Frankie’s eyes as he traipses alongside Benny and Will, a reserved contemplation etched into his tan features. 

Will can't contain his wild excitement about proposing to his long term girlfriend. "I'm gonna pop the question, boys. Right there tomorrow on Christmas morning," he explains as he sidesteps puddles. 

“About fuckin’ time!” Benny roars, clapping his big bro on the back, as Frankie hides behind a supportive smile in the shadows of his worn and slightly fraying cap. 

“That’s great news,” Frankie says, as he pats his friend’s shoulder affectionately.

“Thanks, Fish.” Will eyes him carefully, noting the tight knot his face has become. “How you doing?”

It’s a daunting prospect, answering a question like that, which feels pretty loaded these days.

Frankie can remember all the times he’s been asked how he’s doing, and all the times he’s lied, convincing everyone that he was, indeed, perfectly fine. A well crafted façade as his life spiralled away from him right under everyone's noses, and the words feel hollower now. 

The white, powdery gap has wedged itself in all of his relationships to note. The strain, and shame, of having and carrying the stigma of an addiction - something that he had tried to convince himself he didn't have for too long - has damaged some of those relationships permanently, most notably the one with his closest friends, his brothers in arms.

The separation caused by his addiction weighs heavily on him; he sees the way they step carefully around him now. Frankie’s acutely aware that the person they knew him to be during his darker days might be vastly different from the Frankie they once called a comrade on the front line.

Frankie's return to the fold of his former, closest friends, is a gritty experience, filled with the raw emotions of both redemption and remorse and the heavy load they drag. The scars run deep, and some days it feels like he won't ever escape the haunting spectre of the person he used to be.

Reunions like this, are like stepping into combat where trust is always the first casualty, and he has to navigate the minefield of scepticism whilst trying not to lose a limb should one detonate in his face.

The estrangement from his military buddies has left wounds on both sides. Benny was genuinely concerned, while Will harboured resentment for the times when Frankie’s struggles had impacted the cohesion of their once tightly knit phalanx. 

The camaraderie that previously thrived in the crucible of combat and beyond, has been fractured by the corrosive effects of his weaknesses. He prepares himself mentally for the conversations that lie ahead, adopting the same meticulous planning mindset he had during his time serving in Delta Force.

Although, a fat lot of good that will do.   

“I’m good, doing alright.” Frankie replies in a tired monotone. 

“Six months, buddy!” Benny says, knocking into him. “That’s more than alright.” 

And Frankie lets a crooked smile slip from lips that are constantly downturned as of late. Benny was the only one to really check in on a regular basis, to help him move what little belongings he had into the shitty apartment the VA had assigned to him after weeks of crashing on Benny’s lumpy couch.

He’s not mad at Will for taking a step back, he gets it; the man is in love and swept up with it, which Frankie is actually pleased about. Will needs a sturdy woman to take care of him when he faces his own darkness trying to claw at him in the middle of the night. 

Pope’s absence is what cuts the deepest; it's been over a year since Tom’s passing in the Andes on that fucking stupid mission, leaving them all to try and pick up the pieces without him, and each of them failing miserably in their own ways. As resilient as Benny is, he still takes the punches in the ring to help quiet the tornadoes in his mind. 

Frankie’s not heard a word from Pope, except for a text message, months ago, informing him he had moved on to Australia. 

“Six months? Fuck. That’s great.” Will agrees. And he seems genuinely pleased.

Frankie nods, head down as he follows along with them. He squeezes the sobriety coin inside his pocket to the point it could absorb fully into his skin. 

Six months into his journey of being clean, the pull of old habits still linger and twitch at his fingers.

The holiday season, with its emotional complexities, is akin to flying in low visibility conditions. Frankie recognises the familiar dreaded terrain of festive traditions, obscured by the fog of past memories and cravings. And navigating his way through this time of year in particular, alone, is something that has stunted his rotary blades in mid-flight.

“Any chance of Pope meeting us here, early Christmas present?” Will asks.

Frankie shakes his head. “No. He’s not back.”

“Still loved up with that gorgeous chick in Aus.” Benny interjects. 

“Shit. Pope in love.” Will chuckles in bewilderment. 

Benny laughs. “Never thought I'd see the day.”

“What about you Fish, you patch things up with Carmela?” Will asks Frankie. 

“That’s long dead in the water.” Frankie replies bitterly as he pulls skin from his bottom lip with his teeth. 

“What about your kid, you’re seeing her for Christmas, right?” Will queries. 

“Carmela's being… obstinate.” Frankie says. 

“Carmela's being a bitch.” Benny corrects. “She got back to you yet?”

Frankie shakes his head and bites down on his cheek.  

“Like I said, bitch.” 

“Come on. That’s the mother of his kid, Ben.” Will interjects, softly.  

“Don’t matter. She’s withholding visitation.” Benny explains.

“What the courts say?” Will addresses Frankie and he shrugs.

“Can’t afford a lawyer so we’re kinda freestylin’ it right now.” He bows his head further, almost tucking his chin to his chest, shoulders hunched up. 

“You know, if you need money-” Will begins.

“Jesus.” Frankie mutters and shakes his head. 

His ex-partner's decision to withhold visitation rights is a gut-wrenching blow, another barricade on the path to rebuilding a fractured life.

The pain of being separated from his daughter, especially at Christmas, only adds another layer of complexity to his struggles, testing the limits of his newfound sobriety.

It cuts deep as he squeezes round the coin tighter now, trying to drown out the voice that reminds him of all of his shortcomings. 

Frankie, the single dad; the recovering addict, the deadbeat. Frankie, who can’t even afford a cheap condo or his own mattress, and can't help but feel a stabbing twinge of loneliness sweeping in beneath the sociability of some drinks on Christmas Eve with his friends.

Man, he fuckin’ hates Christmas, and all the schmaltzy shit that comes with it. Passing by windows lined with glitzy tinsel, he'd like nothing more than to wrap it around his neck and step off the stool. 

He shakes the grisly thought away as his thumb runs over the familiar ridges of the coin. 

Amid jokes and banter, mainly spurred on by Benny, they reach the bustling bar, squeezing through the door. A last get together before Christmas whisks them away with families and significant others, and Frankie goes back to staring at four walls on his own each night.

Frankie nervously checks his phone before he pushes in. The phone in his hand, a cockpit instrument, displaying crucial data for the upcoming flight - his daughter's presence on Christmas day - glancing at the obvious void of being left on read by Carmela.

It's cutting close to the hour, almost nine PM and he still hasn’t a clue about plans for tomorrow, so he taps out another quick message and pushes send with a growl on the cusp of his tongue. 

Well? Can I see her 2morrow or not?

He shoves his phone back in his jacket pocket, along with his hands, grips around the coin in there again, and pushes into the bar after the guys.  

Mismatched, but cosy furniture fills the space, from worn leather booths to tall barstools that line the crowded bar with bodies perched on them.

Laughter and lively chatter fills the air, punctuated by bursts of holiday cheer from groups engaged in boisterous and animated conversations. Behind the bar, bartenders expertly pour draught beer and craft seasonal cocktails; their hands moving in a dance of mixing, shaking, and smug pouring.

The clinking of ice cubes and the subtle hiss of carbonation adds to the melange of sounds. A tinkling of Slade echoes around the bar, muted out somewhat by the cacophony. 

As Frankie navigates the crowded bar, the festive ambiance a rotor wash, swirling around him and lifting the spirits of those caught in its currents. However, beneath the surface, the turbulence of emotions echo his past experiences where clarity often comes after navigating through complex conditions.

His gaze lingers on the phone again, a lifeline dangling like a rescue hoist, awaiting confirmation that he could airlift his plans for Christmas with his daughter to safety. Instead he’s left in a holding pattern, patiently waiting for clearance to land.

Mierda.

Gritting his teeth, he dodges bodies coming at him.

Unable to find a table, the trio settle to standing at the end of the bar, squeezed in as Benny signals for the bartender as he pulls out his wallet, immersed in the festive chaos orbiting around them.

“So much for a quiet one.” Will smirks at Frankie.

“It’s fuckin’ Christmas eve, man.” Frankie responds with a shrug, taking off his cap, smoothing back his hair and settling it back on again. Curls billow out wildly behind his ears like he’s been electrocuted.

“So tomorrow’s the big day, huh?” Frankie questions.

“Yeah.” Will nods. 

“You nervous?”

“Shitting myself, man.” Will says. 

Glasses of whiskey are pushed into their hands by Benny. “Who’s shittin’?” He asks. 

“Tomorrow.” Will explains. 

“She’s gonna say yes, man. You don’t need to worry. She’s a good girl.” Frankie states taking his drink and sipping it.

He’s only met Will’s partner once and she seemed nice enough. Unmemorable, as he struggles to recall her face, but nice. The sharpness of his drink hits his tongue and warms his mouth. 

“Too good for this asshole.” Benny ribs. 

Frankie glances around the bar idly as Benny lets rip into his brother some more. 

He’s pulled back into the conversation when he feels a light jab in his shoulder. 

"Fish, when are you getting back into the dating game?" Will queries.

Frankie shrugs and his eyes find the floor again, looking at his feet. “I dunno man, I’m not exactly a catch right now.”

“Shut up, you handsome bastard. You just need to get laid.” Benny cajoles. "Fuck dating. Get you some pussy."

"I'm focusing on staying sober and being a dad right now. Or trying to be-” He’s acutely aware his phone hasn’t buzzed in his pocket. 

“Fuck that bitch Carmela, man.” Benny hisses. 

“I did. Look where it got me.” Frankie smirks. 

“You’re on the up, Fish. Stop with the melancholy.” Benny says. 

“You heard back about your licence appeal yet?” Will queries.

“They’re still reviewing it. S’been almost fourteen fuckin’ months. Got a letter last week."

“Shit.” Will says.

“Yeah. My sponsor’s putting in a good word.” Frankie explains. “Reckons it oughta get it rolling now.”

“Fuckin’ A!” Benny grins. 

“I don’t wanna get my hopes up.” Frankie shrugs. “But it could be looking promising.”

“We’ll get you outta that workshop and in the air again!” Benny says. 

“You still wanna fly for the Military?” Will queries, surprised. 

Frankie shakes his head. “Private. Lessons, maybe for hire, that kind of thing.” Frankie explains.

“Fish has got a whole business plan mapped out.” Benny praises. “Even designed a business card.”

“You did.” Frankie corrects. “And you spelt aviation wrong.”

Benny flips him off. 

“Well, I’ll drink to that,” Will says, holding out his glass. “New business venture.”

“Let’s drink to you getting engaged instead,” Frankie counters, feeling prickly. "Salud!"

They chink their glasses together and neck back the whiskey. Benny gathers the empties and leans over the bar again. “Same again?” He asks the guys.

“Yeah. I’ll be back. Gotta take a leak.” Frankie turns towards the direction of the toilets.

He squeezes past clusters of people and pushes through the door that feels sticky on the tips of his fingers.

A waft of ammonia tinged in the air, mixed with the lingering scent of various cleaning agents, assaults his senses. Dim, flickering fluorescent lights barely illuminate the small, cramped space. The walls, once painted a neutral colour, now showcase peeling paint and patches of unidentified grime.

Random graffiti and scratches mar the surface, telling tales of forgotten nights and transient patrons, and Frankie skims his eyes over them as he unzips his flies at the urinal. 

Drying his hands on crunchy, blue paper towels, he pulls out his phone to check again for a message that he already subconsciously knows isn’t there. Sighing, he glances himself in the mirror and stares at his tired complexion. 

The weariness etched in his expression doesn’t diminish the underlying determination. His jaw sets firm, a silent resolve evident even in the tired lines of his face, anger and frustration bubbling inside.

He takes the coin out of his pocket, staring down at it and grounding himself. Remembering to breathe as the vibrations in his skull begin to whir. He tucks it away quickly when the door opens and a couple of guys bundle in, chattering away.  

The bar's atmosphere is electric, and the holiday spirit seems to amplify it with every step.

He bumps into a body on his way out of the bathroom, the encounter is a gentle collision, enough to pause him momentarily as a bright pair of eyes and gentle smile renders him still.

It takes a second for the wetness to register as it seeps through his shirt and jacket and onto his belly skin, cooling it. 

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry!” You gasp at him, your glass now empty and all over this rugged stranger who’s smiling at you, wiping himself down with his large hands, although it does absolutely nothing at all, and reassuring you it’s alright. 

"My bad, I should’ve looked where I was going." Frankie says, offering a sheepish smile. 

"No, I regularly make a habit of being a klutz.” You assure. “You’re the innocent party.”

“In that case, I’m glad for your lack of co-ordination.” 

“Smooth.” You remark with a grin, eyes twinkling at him in amusement.

“Can I get you another?” Frankie offers.

The accidental spill on his jacket becomes a metaphorical bird strike, a sudden encounter with the unexpected. Yet, much like dealing with a bird strike in flight, Frankie handles it with some flooding, composure, brushing off the impact and continuing on his course. Even if he’s running on the subconscious act of keeping true.

“What? No. I should be buying you one for ruining your shirt.”

“S’not ruined. Just a little damp.” He explains.

“Well, I’m glad. It’s a nice shirt.”

“Now who’s being smooth?” 

“Dude, I live for Fleetwood Mac, okay. I would be devastated if you had to throw it away on my account.”

And suddenly Frankie’s brain envisions you wearing it, the t-shirt depicting his favourite band under his shirt and jacket. Nothing else, but his faded t-shirt that he should have thrown out months ago, as the holes under the armpits get a little wider with each wear, but he can’t bear the thought of parting with it.

He swallows dryly and tries to remember to breathe again. 

“Come on, I insist.” You say. And he doesn't have time to resist or object as you promptly link his arm and drag him towards the bar. 

As you wait for the attention of one of the bartenders, you tilt your head curiously to him. "So, what brings you out on this busy Christmas Eve?" You ask him.

Frankie leans in so you can hear him. “Insanity.”

“Oh, you too?” You smirk.

He chuckles. “My friend’s getting engaged tomorrow. We’re out celebrating.”

“Oh nice, he’s doomed.” You cajole and Frankie nods in agreement. 

“Something like that. What about you?”

“Drinks, work colleagues. Blah. Blah.” You say.

“Well, don’t let me keep you.”

“You’re not. I can’t stand them. Besides, you're much more interesting.”

“I doubt that.” Frankie blushes. 

“Oh come on. You love Fleetwood Mac. I’m already hooked.” You smile. 

He smiles back at you and you notice the deep richness of his eyes stunning you for a moment. He nods just over your head as the bartender approaches, and you turn to order your drinks, breaking the spell. 

“Let me get this.” Frankie insists as he pulls his wallet and thrusts a twenty into the bartender's hand before you can.

“That was supposed to be my round.” You say. 

“Early Christmas present,” he confirms to you with a lazy shrug.

“You play dirty.”

“Surely that’s the only way to play.” He smirks.

“Well, thank you.” You say handing him a glass and you notice a subtle tremor in his fingers as he takes it from you.

There’s a pause between you, a moment where your mutual smiles bleed into the surroundings and turn the noise down.

You glance around the bar as you sip your drink, the colours of Christmas lights twinkling in your irises and Frankie tries his best not to stare at them. But it's difficult because he’s drawn to them, like a magpie in want of something shiny. 

Smiling, you point them out in wonder. “I love all this tacky shit, don’t you?”

Frankie looks around and nods subtly. “We’ve even got mistletoe.” He nods further down the bar at a plastic sprig hanging over the oblivious revellers underneath. 

“That's so cliché. I prefer the subtlety of strategically placed tinsel."

"Ah, a tinsel strategist. Now that's a title. Do you have a manual for that, or is it all instinct?" He asks.

"It's an art form, my friend. Requires a keen eye for Fung Shei and a touch of OCD."

“I’m a bauble man myself.”

You scoff into your drink, choking a little as you giggle and Frankie feels like he’s just been immolated on the spot at the sound of it tittering out of you.

“Is that a euphemism? Should I just cut my losses now and go?”

“Funny.” He smirks.

You pretend to fan yourself, "I try my best. Making handsome guys laugh is just a side gig, you know."

“It’s a look, it’s working for you.” You confirm. "I like me a bit of scruff."

“Handsome? That's the second time tonight I've heard that."

"Really? Look at you, Mr Popular. Am I encroaching on someone else's staked claim of you?"

He shakes his head. "Not at all."

"Good. I wouldn't care if I was anyway." You smile.

"Fighting talk."

"You better believe it, handsome." You chuckle.

"I mean, I’ll take it.” A small pink blush settles in over his nose. 

Frankie baulks. “Well good. I haven't washed this t-shirt for like, eight days…” he laughs.

“Hot.” You laugh back. “But let’s get into the nitty-gritty here.” You say. You thwack your glass onto the bar top as you lean on it, studying him.  

“Alright.” 

"I bet your holiday playlist includes some seriously cheesy tunes. Care to share your guilty pleasures?" You prompt. 

He laughs. "Guilty pleasures? Please, my playlist is a masterpiece. Mariah Carey's 'All I Want for Christmas' is a holiday anthem that frequents. No guilt, only joy."

"Mariah Carey? Bold choice for a man in a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt.”

Frankie shrugs. “I’m eclectic.”

“I respect the commitment. Maybe I'll have to reconsider my stance on disliking holiday music." You say. You swirl the ice around in your glass.

“You don’t like a bit of Mariah? What is wrong with you?” Frankie sneers with a grin as he raises his own glass to his mouth. 

"Everything. I’m a lost cause.”

“I doubt that, querida.” He murmurs. 

“So, what's your go-to holiday movie? This is crucial information." You question.

"Die Hard, obviously. It's a Christmas movie and an action masterpiece. What more could you ask for?"

"A man of macho culture, I see. I concur. Die Hard, it is. Now we just need to settle the pineapple-on-pizza debate, and we'll be golden." You smirk. “And there is a correct answer by the way…”

The banter with you stirs something raw within Frankie - he can feel it - a feeling he hasn't experienced in a while. A long while.

Your smile and the daring glimmer in your eyes at him chokes him up in a solar flare; he’s finding it hard to breathe. 

It’s a gritty, unfiltered connection that cuts through the tarnished facade he often wears, but comes surprisingly natural.

The jokes and playful challenges become a form of rebellion against the loneliness that has silently plagued him.

In the midst of the crowded bar and flashing Christmas lights, Frankie finds a refuge in your shared banter - a reprieve from the weight of his own battles that have been pushed aside like the empties stacking on the bar top between you.

Your sharp wit and unabashed humour becomes a tonic for the rough edges that shape him, a remedy of a soothing salve for the scars he carries.

As Frankie leans into the quips and jokes, he finds solace in the cracks of vulnerability it exposes, instead of rushing to seal them back up.

The conversation isn't just light-hearted snaps coated in something flirtatious; it’s a reminder that, sometimes, the least expected connections are the ones that break through the walls built around ourselves, offering a chance at genuine, unfiltered connectivity in the midst of the holiday chaos.

It pulls him back sharply into reality and everything comes flooding back. Looking at you, the way you look back at him as though something incredible has landed in your lap, stunts him.

He shares another drink with you, paying for it again at your insistence that he doesn’t have to, even play fighting him to see who can get their note into the bartender's hand first. Your laugh is infectious as it warms his blood.

And then he remembers he’s left his friends hanging at the top of the bar as he catches their prying grins, gurning animatedly at him. 

He can’t drag you down with him, he’s being ridiculous, selfish even. 

“Okay. Yeah, I should show my face again I guess.” 

“I should probably let you get back to your colleagues.” Frankie says, and turns as you hop off the stool. 

He realises only now, that his phone still hasn't buzzed in his pocket.

He wonders if that’s disappointment in your voice, a subtle resonance reaching out to tug him back by the collar of his unwashed t-shirt. 

“It was really nice talking to you.” You say, earnestly. 

“And you.” He agrees, nodding. 

“Have a good evening.” You say, with a warm smile and make your way back to your table.

“You too.” Frankie says, floundering. 

Fuck. 

He just let you walk away. Watches you go back to the table, no fight in him. Carmela was right, maybe he has no passion anymore. 

He retreats back towards the guys at the end of the bar who are stunned and wide-eyed at his return.

“Dude!” Benny scolds. 

“Did you get her number?” Will asks as Frankie approaches, hands shoved in pockets. 

Frankie shakes his head and bows it again. “No.”

“Are you crazy? Go back over there and ask her for it, she clearly likes you, man.” Will encourages.

“I don’t know.”

“Fuck it. I’ll do it. I’m your wingman, Fish.” Benny knocks his drink back bracing himself for manoeuvre, but Will tugs on his bicep. 

“Leave it.” He says, noting Frankie’s unease. 

Frankie tosses a weary glance over his shoulder towards your direction and catches you glancing back. You smile and he smiles back thinly. 

“I need another drink,” he says back to the boys. 

“You alright, man?” Will says, putting his arm over his shoulder. 

“Yeah.” Frankie sighs.

Although he’s pretty certain he’s sweating all over, and that Will can feel him shaking. 

A while later and the boys have found a small table that they’re crowded around.

Frankie’s not sure how many he’s had, but he’s starting to feel warm and his arms are tingling from the alcohol consumption. 

Something he knows he probably shouldn’t do.

“Fish,” Benny nods over his shoulder and Frankie turns to see you approaching gingerly, tossing your purse over your shoulder. 

He can just hear his sponsor's nagging voice scolding him in his ear about other vices being the gateway back to the coke, Francisco. But he’s never had a problem with booze, never really getting wasted beyond all control.

He always stops when his fingers start to feel numb. 

“Hi,” you say, warmly. 

“Hey,” Frankie greets, immediately standing up like he’s been tasered.

You smile at the boys who look back at you grinning behind their tumblers as they sup. 

“Urm, I’m about to head off. I don’t live too far from here, I just wondered if perhaps you’d want to walk me home?” You offer to Frankie.

“These streets ain’t safe for a woman on her own, Fish.” Benny pipes up and Will nudges him sharply in the rib cage. 

“Fish?” You query with a smile.

“Nickname.” Frankie says with cheeks turning pink again.

“Well, you can tell me about it on the way.” You suggest with those sparkling eyes again, and Frankie swears he’s never seen a pair like them before.

They literally take his breath away. 

“Uh, sure. Yeah.” Frankie says, he puts his glass down on the table. “I’ll walk you home, hermosa.”

“Great.” You smile and head towards the door.

Frankie glances back at the boys, who clearly can’t contain their excitement as they laugh and punch the air, and Frankie simply flips them the bird discreetly as he follows behind you. 

“So, you’re Spanish?” You query once outside in the cool air.

“Texan. I'm from from El Paso. But beyond that it’s a mix of Mexican and some Colombian thrown in.”

“That’s cool.” You smile.

“What about you, where are you from?” He queries as he throws his hands inside his pockets. The weight of his phone tugs lightly at the frustration spiking on the edge of his mind. 

“Here. Born and raised. I’ve not seen you around before though.” 

“Should you have?”

“It's a small town.” You remark. 

“I’ve been out of it for a while.”

“Just moved back?” You ask. 

“No. I was… in the military for a while and then-” he pauses as you walk along together.

“Ah, the nickname. Fish.”

“Catfish.”

“Dare I ask?”

Frankie smiles. “Used to fish a lot with my pop growing up. Caught a big fish once, a catfish, that almost threw me overboard. It was twice my size. Told the guys about it one night when we were on duty, it kind of stuck.” Frankie explains with a wily smirk.

“Nice. What did you do in the military?” You question genuinely enthralled to hear him speak. 

“Pilot. Helicopters, mostly.”

“Oh wow, you fly?” 

He nods subtly. “Used to.”

“So, you’re not in the army anymore?”

“Special Ops. And no, retired.” 

“You’re not old enough to retire surely,” you say with a smile. 

He shrugs. “Feels like it sometimes.”

You smile at him as you clutch your hands over your purse and he walks with his hands fisted in his pockets. Grasping tightly around the coin and his phone in equal measure. 

“So you live close by?” He queries.

“Yeah. A shitty apartment block on third. Work’s close by too. Glad I can walk because my car packed up weeks ago.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I'm a triple threat.” You say and he laughs. 

“You not got it fixed?” Frankie enquires.

“Can’t afford it right now. It’s a sore subject.” You say bitterly.

“Say no more.” He smiles. “I can... take a look, if you want?”

You turn to him with a small, coy smile. “Do helicopter pilots know how to fix cars?”

“It’s a combustion engine. They’re all pretty much the same.” He shrugs. 

“Well, then. I might take you up on that, Pilot.” You say glancing at him and he smiles. 

“So, obvious question, but why are you alone on Christmas?” You ask him. 

You both walk along with some comforting sense of ease. As you stroll through the quiet streets, the banter that had filled the bar now gives way to a more subdued, yet charged atmosphere.

The occasional laughter and shared glances add a layer of unspoken intimacy, a peep of vulnerability; a departure from the boisterous energy of the crowded bar you’ve just left that settles into your pores with ease.

Frankie glances at you with a knotted tongue.

"No ring, you’re not married. Unless you are, and you’re a player. But you don’t strike me as the type.”

“Not a player.” He confirms with a side smile.

"Divorced?"

"Not lucky enough to have been married yet." He confirms.

“And you’re not gay. Despite a penchant for baubles.”

He laughs. “Definitely not gay.”

“Good.” You chuckle.

“How about you? What’s your situation?” Frankie questions tentatively.

“Lonely.” You say after a few moments to deliberate, and he feels the sharpness of your choice of descriptive pierce his skin.

“I’m tired of being the awkward third wheel in my group of friends.” You say.

“You too, huh?” Frankie smiles gently at you and you smile back nodding.

And the sincerity in your eyes mirrors his own. He knows how that feels, only too well. 

“Me too.” He agrees. 

“Any existing Christmas plans tomorrow?” You ask as you both round off the street and down another. 

“Hoping… to see my daughter.” He braves. 

The unspoken truth about his life - being a single dad and probably a failure at it too - is out there now, and he wishes he could cram the scathing truths back into his mouth when you don’t say anything.

He expects you to recoil.

Expects you to say thanks, but you’ll walk the rest of your way by yourself. He comes with baggage, so much more than what your little, dainty purse is equipped to carry.

He can’t expect you to shoulder the weight of his as well.

When you allow him to hang there, suspended in the awkwardness of laying himself bare. 

He expects a change in your expression, waits for it. That subtle shift that often accompanies the revelation of such personal details. 

But instead, you simply nod and smile curiously; a reassuring gesture that eases the tension instantly in his shoulders.

“That’s cute. How old is she?” You query and your interest seems genuine. 

“Almost two.” He replies. 

“So you’re a daddy?”

“Yeah.”

“Hot.” You smirk. And he laughs. 

“I don’t know about that.” 

“I think so.” You confirm.

“Yeah?” He queries with raised eyebrows. 

“Absolutely.”

"You got kids?" Frankie asks, feeling his cheeks burn.

You snort. "Please. I'm not insane. I can barely take care of myself."

You both laugh as you come to a stop outside an apartment block.

“So, this is me.” You say, turning to him. 

“Nice.” Frankie says inspecting the building.

Your apartment block stands at the end of a weathered street, surrounded by buildings that bear the scars of time and neglect. It’s a little shabby and run down with yellowing lights that emanate from inside the lobby doors.

"It's really not nice. It's not much, but it's home, I guess." You say, clearly embarrassed about the state of it. 

“That's all that matters, trust me.” Frankie says. It’s far more than he’s had of late.

“I’d invite you in, but I’ve had a bit too much to drink.” You say, sheepishly.

“I wouldn’t come in because you’ve had a bit too much to drink.” He clarifies.

“A gentleman. That’s rare these days.”

“That I am, ma’am.” He says, saluting with two fingers under his cap gently.

You rummage in your purse for your keys. “Well, thank you for wal-”

“Have dinner with me?” Frankie interrupts. “I mean, if you’d like to, I'd like to take you out for some dinner?”

You smile widely and it takes his breath from his lungs. “I’d really like that.” 

“Yeah?”

You nod smiling. “Yeah. Give me your phone.” 

He hands it over and you put your number in there. You then call it from his phone and pull yours out of your purse. Fleetwood Mac’s Gypsy plays as your ringtone until you silence it. 

“That’s my favourite song.” Frankie smiles. 

“Mine too. Told you I had good taste in music.”

The air between you both shimmers with the unspoken tension of another, new shared commonality. The banter and laughter has woven in a comfortable bind around you both, seemingly pulling you both in tighter.

Charged with a quiet anticipation, the kind that precedes an intimate moment, your eyes meet, a silent agreement passing between you both as you instinctively step forward and so does he, without hesitation.

Leaning in, the gentle press of his lips against yours is soft, breaching. 

A delicate meeting of lips that convey a sense of mutual understanding, some semblance of painful hesitation lying on the outskirts, that this is truly a Christmas miracle of some kind. 

The cold night air contrasts with the warmth exchanged in that fleeting touch, creating a sensation that’s both electrifying and comforting.

And mildly terrifying. 

Frankie can feel himself tremble as you moan gently into his mouth, seeking you out with an explorative tongue. 

His heart is racing, he’s convinced you can hear it clattering around bruised ribs as it fills his ears with a thumping bass. 

Your hands clutch onto his arms, winding up the length and thickness of them gently, carefully feeling him out too.

His hands settle tentatively on your waist, pulling you into him further as he tastes you.

You lean up on tiptoes, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck as you kiss him with more fervour, enjoying the way he tastes, the way he sounds as he grunts into you hungrily.

He can feel himself stiffen, the oncoming rush of blood coursing through his body and centering in the length of his cock.

Fuck, it’s been too long since he’s felt a rush like this. One that wasn’t chemical and burned away the cilia in his nostrils. 

The way his hands clutch onto you desperately as if he’s convinced you’re going to fly away. And the way you hold onto him too, trying to convince yourself that he’s real as your fingers scratch gently into the subtle greying hairs on his cheek. 

You feel the visor of his cap clip your forehead and you pull back giggling a little as he chuckles. You plant another kiss on the side of his scruffy face, his beard soft and fuzzy against your lips. 

“That was really nice,” you whisper in awe.

“Yeah.” Frankie agrees, his thumb stroking across your cheek. 

“I’ve never kissed a Catfish before.” You muse.

He snorts and you giggle. "How was it?"

"Good. Real good." You smile. “Thank you for walking me home.”

“My pleasure, hermosa.” He kisses your mouth again, a delicate lingering smooch before you reach in to pull out your keys. 

“Get yourself inside. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

He watches you walk up the steps, unlocking the door and pushing it open with your behind as you turn to smile at him.

You nod enthusiastically. “You better.”

"I will be, don't you worry." He says, smiling and blushing further.

“Merry Christmas, Pilot!” You call out to him. 

He waves, smiling. Frankie doesn’t leave until the door closes behind you. 

He pulls it out. There's a message from Benny that he didn’t feel come through:

He walks up the street, trying to contain the grin on his lips that now make his jaw ache. His body feeling like it could give way any second.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. 

You score yet?

He shakes his head, rolling his eyes. He types out another message to Carmela, noting her lack of response, despite clearly reading his messages.

And he feels that he can finally see straight. 

I’ll b ova 2morrow whether u like it or not. I’m seeing my daughter on xmas day. If u think that I won't fight u 4 joint custody, ur wrong.

His phone buzzes again. A response from her almost immediately.

FINE. U can stay for some lunch. 2pm.

Frankie smiles again, tapping out a message, but it's not a response to Carmela. 

Instead, Frankie types out a message to you:

Merry Christmas, hermosa x

You message back a minute later:

All I want for Christmas is you, Pilot. Merry Christmas from me & Mariah xx

12 DAYS OF XXX-MAS MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

#frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal charcters #frankie catfish morales #francisco morales #frankie morales triple frontier #triple frontier fic #frankie morales fluff #frankie morales x you #christmas stories #jett's writing

[bsd-fan]

Soukoku and the mafia

After a million years, I’m finally back with an analysis. I’ve already kind of analyzed Dazai and Chuuya as individual characters but I purposefully left behind something that was fundamental for both of their characterizations and that played a big role in molding their actual personalities. Yes, I’m talking about the environment they grew up in: The mafia.

Because the length and the complexity of the topic, I decided to make an entire post just about this. Obviously there will be spoilers of the anime, manga and light novels so be aware of that.

*Also a friendly reminder that english is not my native language, so I apologize if there’s any grammar or ortographic mistake or if something is worded in a weird way, I just hope is not bad enough that you can’t make sense of it at all. This is also extremely self indulgent and extremely long.

I’m gonna start by establishing the main premise of this analysis and the idea I will be defending in the next parragraphs:

The mafia is literally the worst place for skk to be in (and yes, I’m talking about BOTH of them)

Now this is a bold sentence because the immediate response would probably be something among the lines of “well duh, the mafia is a horrible place for everyone” and yes but also no. The mafia affects soukoku in a special way that is vastly different to how it affects the other characters in the mafia.

I’ve found that the mafia is one of the most misunderstood points in the series (Cycle of abuse, I’m looking at you) so I’m gonna talk about it. Back in chuuya’ analysis, I talked about how he shouldn’t be in the mafia. I wasn’t talking about this in terms of “Chuuya is majorly speaking a good person” and “The mafia is a morally bad place”, that’s pure bullshit and certainly not what I was referring to.

When the fandom talks about the mafia there are two major points of view. Either they saw it as hell incarnate or they see it as the “bad” protectors of the city, kind of a twisted family. And while both of this opinions are not /completely/ wrong, they’re also NOT right. Once again, the problem is that the fandom /still/ insists on assigning a moral category to something that is far more complicated than that. Yes, it’s the mafia, it’s literally a place of crime, it’s /obvious/ they’re gonna do morally bad things but they are also an important part in the tripartite framework and a major reason of why the city is still standing, this are not mutually exclusive. And that’s because the mafia is not a morally oriented organization.

The next biggest mistake when it comes to this topic is thinking of Mori and the Mafia as synonyms. People loves to blame Mori for every single thing that happens, there is always an entire section of comments that always claim “Normalize blaming Mori for everything” and that’s just /plainly/ wrong. I need you to understand that the mafia existed before Mori and will exist after Mori and it still will require of a leader that have certain type of characteristics. The reason Mori is the perfect leader for this organization is because he perfectly represents the mafia ideology NOT the opposite. Is Mori who adapts himself to the mafia, not the mafia adapting to him. Obviously he is in charge and he gets to influence and dictate the actions of the organization, the same way the old boss did (and he made a shit hole out of it) but the mafia as it core exists as a concept that can not be altered not matter who is in charge of it. And that’s what we have to understand.

Let’s start by defining it:

“An economic body that uses violence as it’s currency” -Mori

And that’s it, that’s the first and most important thing you gotta understand about the mafia. It’s not about bad people doing bad things for the sake of it. It’s not about morally grey people saving the city because of the good in their hearts. The mafia as it core is about money, is about benefits, is about gaining the most. It’s an economic body.

They will kill, kidnap and torture? Yes but they won’t do it because they’re bad, they will do it only if there’s something to gain out of it. They save the city and stop the other criminal groups? Yes, but it’s not because they are secretly good people. It’s to maintain the monopoly of the crime in the city and protect their territory where they have all the money and where they do their negotiations. There /are/ people in the mafia who genuinely care about the city like Mori, Chuuya, Tachihara or Hirotsu, I don’t doubt there are other people as well who cares about it but those are personal motivations that have absolutely nothing to do with the mafia as an institution. Because the mafia as it’s own entity only cares about the gains and losses.

So when we talk about the main difference between the Mafia and the ADA is not about morality. Both organizations are full of morally grey people, both of this organizations are ready to do criminal activities if required. The main difference is the objectives behind them. The ADA is a organization of people for people.

“There is no agency more valuable than human life”- fukuzawa about the ADA, first light novel

The ADA is about doing their best to help people, is about prioritizing human life above everything else. And when they do criminal acts? It’s because it was the only way to preserve as many lives as possible.

The mafia on the other hand is about gaining money and resources and it’s about securing the survival of it as as Institution doing whatever is necessary to achieve it.

“These magical stones always led to violence and bloodshed, and the only thing that could stop this violence and maintain a stable system was even more violence”— Chuuya, stormbringer.

In the last chapters we realize that even though the ADA as an organization technically doesn’t exist anymore (because they were seen as a terrorist group) they still can perfectly exist as long as the members are alive. They can make another organization but they can’t just replace one of their members, that would be a critical hit for them. That’s abysmally different to how the mafia conduces itself. It doesn’t matter how many people die, they can be easily replaced but if the mafia as an institution falls? Then they lose everything. So this means, that the ADA will sacrifice the organization as many times as necessary if by doing it, they can protect it’s members meanwhile the mafia will sacrifice as many people as necessary if by doing it they assure the survival of the mafia as an institution. And this has been shown again and again and again. It’s because of this main objective that the mafia by definition and independently of Mori, needs to be: Extremely Rational, utilitarian and deeply Machiavellian because if not, then it wouldn’t be able to survive. The mafia as an institution requires someone who will put the needs of the organization over personal feelings and even over the members of the institution if that’s the best option..

And that’s why Mori is the perfect leader of the organization, because he is the textbook ideal of what a Mafia boss should be. Mori is not known for being the cruelest or the evilest. He is known for being the most logical, not matter what. For always being cold and rational.

“Dazai, Do you know why I’m the boss? (…) I don’t posess an incredible skill like you or chuuya. Instead, however, I am a little better at something than the two of you. I can always predict exactly how many men I need to send into battle”- Mori, stormbringer.

To illustrate this better let’s talk about the death of the old boss and Odasaku.

First thing to understand is that people is not stupid, they always /knew/ that Mori killed the old boss. For fuck’s sake even the sheep who were a group of literal /kids/ that weren’t even part of the mafia knew that there was no way that the old boss died of naturally causes and casually left the mafia to Mori who coincidentally happened to be his doctor. They all knew but they are collectively playing pretend. Why? Because they recognize that Mori is the best option, because they know that Mori won’t sacrifice them without reason, he won’t ask them to do useless things. Every single action that Mori takes is for the benefit of the organization, is logical and can be defended using rational arguments and when he decides to sacrifice someone there’s also a reason behind it. And that’s the best option possible for a place like the Mafia. The mafiosos chose him because of it, but make no mistakes, if the time comes where Mori is more a liability than an asset then someone will most likely kill him and take his place exactly the way he did. That’s the way of the mafia. Just like Mori says, even in the top, everyone’s is a slave of the organization including himself.

Odasaku’s death was carefully planned and I’m not denying that there were personal reasons there, I’m not denying that part of it was to specifically aim to Dazai, being as part of training him to become the next boss of out of fear of Dazai killing him, Mori did this move knowing that Dazai was gonna be affected by it. But as much as all of you would hate to listen to it, it was also the most logical course of action. Just stop to think about it. You have this incredibly powerful asset, someone who is extremely competent, someone who is insanely strong but you can’t use him because he refuses to do any important task, he refuses to kill. He is basically wasted talent. But then there’s an opportunity to gain something extremely valuable (the ability’s permission) and you just have to eliminate one powerful group of people and hey, your liability happens to be the /perfect/ person for the job, so what do you do? What Mori did may be horrible but also was a genius move. He destroyed an entire organization while sacrificing one single person who was useless to him anyway. He gained something that was vital for the organization with basically no losses. Yes, he sacrificed the children and that’s fucking sick and horrible but they weren’t his responsibility, the organization was. The kids weren’t part of the organization, sacrificing them doesn’t translate to any significant losses to the mafia. That’s why Dazai is so frustrated by the end, because he lost his best friend, he is suffering but he can’t deny that Mori was logical about it, he can’t deny that that was rational. Even in beast there’s this whole part explaining how difficult it was to defeat mimic without oda, do you know what does that mean? Dazai probably sacrificed a large number of people to do it and even if he didn’t why would you as the Leander of the organization would take the most difficult path when there’s other that is far easier and cheaper? And just like that, every single one of Mori’s actions can be explained with a logical process behind it.

I feel like the biggest argument to understand that even though Mori represents the Mafia ideals, the mafia is still an independent organization of Mori is Beast. He is not the mafia boss in beast but the mafia basically remains exactly the same organization, akutagawa is not suffering but Atsushi is. People are suffering exactly the same, the only different thing is /who/are the ones suffering. Sure, someone can argument that Dazai was not trying to be the best leader, just to save Odasaku but the whole point is that generally speaking he had to make enough of a decent job to maintain the order in the city. Under Dazai’s command the mafia was more powerful than they were with Mori in charge. And it’s horrible, but that’s the only way to rule it. Otherwise the whole organization would fall apart. So to summarize the horrible environment of the mafia is NOT because of mori. We already saw the mafia in charge of the old boss, of Mori and of Dazai and the environment is kind of the same with slightly worse or better differences and that’s because again there are parts of the mafia that can’t be altered independently of who is in charge.

“A leader is simultaneously at the top of the organization and still a slave to it as a whole. You need to be willing to get your hands dirty to keep the organization afloat and thriving. A leader develops their subordinates and places them wherever they best fit and disposed of them if necessary. I will gladly perform the most heinous acts for the sake of this organization. That’s what it means to be a leader”- Mori, fifteen

Mori is far from perfect, he is horrible and sick and also have lots of personal interests, he also uses the organization to a certain degree to achieve them. But this is not fake. He will put the organization over everything else. That’s what it means to be the boss of the mafia.

So now that we got that out of the way and we learn to differentiate Mori from the mafia and we now understand that the mafia is not a moral organization but an economic body, we can start explaining why the mafia is such a terrible place for Dazai and Chuuya especifically. Let’s start with Dazai. We already discussed it but for the mafia to accomplish it’s main objective it needs to have certain characteristics.

Rational

Utilitarian

Machiavellian

Do this words remind you of someone?

“Your blood is mafia black”

Have you ever wondered why even though chuuya is the one with the greatest body count, Dazai is the one that always seems to be like the worse of them? Why Dazai is the first one to come to mind when they talk about the next mafia boss?

It’s because just like Mori he perfectly embodies the ideals of the mafia as an institution. He is brilliant, kind of apathetic, cold, rational, manipulative and he is naturally an utilitarian (philosophy that believes that the best action is the one that produces happiness to the most people) and Machiavellian (ideology that puts one’s goals over everything else, discarding the moral consequences and the ethics qualifications) this can be summarized to one simply sentence: Dazai is the type of person who is result oriented, it doesn’t matter the means, just the final result and that’s exactly the kind of ideology that the mafia needs to exist. And that’s just part of his natural personality.

So why the mafia is such a bad place for him if it seems like it’s the most natural place for him to be?

If this is the first thing that came to your mind:

Then you’re wrong and I’m here to spit in this idea of cycle of abuse.

Okay so first of all, people refer to “cycle of abuse” to the wrong thing. You’re actually referring to intergenerational abuse and even more than that you are all thinking about the /individualized/ abuse of one person to other than then replicates the same thing in someone else. Thing is, if we make this cycle we will arrive to Mori and I just wrote half a bible of why this is factually incorrect, so don’t make me say it again. Then, there’s the second biggest issue here, this is /incredibly/ reductionist. There /are/ parallelisms in this relationships, yes. But I need you to understand that even though they were indeed abused to a certain degree, they are all part of the mafia which is an abusive place to begin with and by definition. There was no way for them to not suffer this and they weren’t the only ones, everyone in the mafia was abused one way or another and it came from different places not just one specific person . Now let me start with the thing that bugs me the most of this cycle.

It obligates me to defend Mori

See, I can perfectly understand Dazai and Akutagawa being here because even though Aku was manipulated and used for more people in the mafia than just Dazai is a fact that he was the main abuser. It’s true that is was a target abuse and that was repetitive and degrading every single time. Akutagawa is now basically a glorified Pavlovian experiment thanks to Dazai. Yes, Dazai cares for him, yes Dazai actually was trying to teach him and to make him stronger. The intention here is secondary, akutagawa still ended up deeply traumatized and with a pathological need of recognition to survive.

Now akutagawa and kyouka? This one is more questionable because we know that Kouyou and Akutagawa had kind of a twisted version of shared custody when it came to her. So kyouka was abused for more than one person and not necessarily in an intergenerational abuse so the cycle is no longer a cycle right? But okay let’s go with it. We have actual canon proof that akutagawa abused her replicating Dazai’s methods with him so it can still qualify.

But Dazai and Mori? WHERE?

In all the story there’s no proof that Dazai was abused in this way by Mori.

It simply doesn’t exist, it’s just a headcanon that became so popular that everyone started to believe it. Yes, Mori exposed Dazai to a murder when he was fourteen and that’s a form of abuse, true. But have you noticed that most of the mafiosos got into the mafia when they were teenagers or even literal kids (Q was six, gin was also younger than Dazai) they were ALL exposed to this form of abuse. This doesn’t make it okay, of course but it’s not the kind of individualized abuse that you all love to talk about. “He manipulated him” true, he also manipulated oda, Ango, Chuuya, Q, etc. Again it certainly wasn’t personal or out of place for a mafia boss. And again IT’S NOT A CYCLE. We also have absolutely no evidence of Mori being physically or sexually abusive towards Dazai. He psychologically abused of him? Yes but once again there’s no evidence of it being worse than it was with other people. It’s plausible of course, because Dazai worked directly under him but for the most part it doesn’t seem like he was specifically horrible towards Dazai. You want to talk about Mori being horrible with someone? At least choose the right person because yosano is right there. Dazai had most of this personality traits before meeting Mori, so it’s not like Dazai was a perfectly sane and happy kid that would’ve been normal of he was picked up by a good person, he was not ranpo or yosano. Let’s also add that Dazai seemed to be incredibly desensitized to violence even at fourteen. We can’t blame Mori for his character traits but we can certainly blame him because he made them worse.

So if not for this, then why Dazai shouldn’t be in the mafia? Is not for the abuse, is not for the moral implications, then why?

Easy, the real reason it’s because of Dazai’s core as character. Dazai doesn’t care for the mafia, he doesn’t care for power and even though he naturally seeks the benefits out of every situation that also is not his core as a character. His core is and always be: Humanity. That’s what Dazai is looking for, that’s his nucleus as a character and that’s the reason the mafia is the worst place Dazai can be in, regardless of his abilities.

Dazai gets into the mafia trying to find a reason to live, trying to understand humanity so that would make him close to his own and it really seemed like the perfect plan, it was logical. The mafia certainly is a place where death is part of life, emotions are raw and most often than not genuine. Then why It didn’t work? Why his mental stake kept deteriorating more and more? Because it took him farther away from his humanity. I’ve said it before but the reason Dazai felt inhuman is because of a permanent sense of alienation and isolation. Dazai already has certain characteristics that make it harder for him to establish emotional bonds with people. His brain also moves faster than everyone’s else’s, so for him is so /easy/ to stop looking people as individuals and look at them as pieces to use and discard. The mafia is the worst place for him to be because it enhance this characteristics, the mafia impulses him to use them because that makes him the best asset but that also makes him incredibly miserable because it worsens the alienation thus increasing the deshumanization. Also the mafia makes him intellectualize as a coping mechanism which worsens his self awareness that to begin with is pretty poor. That’s not all, because of the nature of the mafia Dazai who already has trust issues ends up even worse so it isolates him even more. The only moments he seems to be closer to his humanity is with people like chuuya or Oda, and the hilarious thing about it is that they both are basically the opposite of what the mafia represents. More than that, Chuuya actually obligates him to go back to earth and start acting less as a god and more as a human being.

Which also explains why the ADA is better for Dazai than the mafia. Is not because of morality, is because is an organization that revolves around people so it obligates him to interact and create relationships with people, and even if they’re not 100% honest. It still decrease his alienation and isolation and being him closer to his humanity. That’s the reason the ADA is the best place for him.

Similarly but in a completely different way there’s chuuya, except that he is a thousand times more tragic than Dazai and every time I stop to think about him I want to sob, scream, throw up.

Dazai has the characteristics to be the perfect mafioso but his nucleus make it impossible for him to be one. Chuuya doesn’t have the characteristics to be a mafioso and also has the same nucleus as Dazai.

So the premise is: The mafia and chuuya are irreconciliable ideas and it’s a miracle that it’s still working.

We already went through everything that the mafia represents, we already know that by /definition/ the mafia is a place where you have to deshumanize other people and yourself in order to survive. It’s not a surprise that is the WORSE place in the world for the two people whose whole characterizations revolves around humanity.

But in chuuya’s case, his whole personality and ideological system directly clash with the mafia. Is fucking tragic. Let me remind you that chuuya gain his whole sense of humanity and identity out of the relationships he makes with people. Chuuya /cares/ for people, that’s just the kind of person he is. You CAN’T ask him to start viewing this people that are /everything/ to him just like chess pieces that can be sacrificed at any moment. That would be the equivalent of spitting in his sense of humanity, to take away his reason to live and his identity. That would completely break him. So chuuya keeps making bonds with people and suffering Every. Single. Loss. Because the mafia is a place of sacrifice and he can’t stop it not matter how hard he tries. And that it’s also devastating in a whole new way.

“His eyes were tainted with Darkness just like everyone in the mafia. It was a murky darkness-one that viewed human lives as mere numbers”- about Arthur, fifteen

This is the mafia, this is the mindset needed to be there. This is also precisely the opposite of everything that chuuya is. Chuuya survives because he can’t view human as numbers. People are the most precious thing in the world for him.

This is chuuya Nakahara:

You value your friendships and make decisions accordingly. I suppose you could call this human nature- Adam, stormbringer

Chuuya is in a place where people die and no one cares, because they were simply numbers, because they don’t exist as individuals not really.

“Countless people died, but the incident hardly remained in anyone’s memory”- stormbringer

The flags died and no one aside from him cared, after that he made new friends that were also killed in the same fucking year and once again nobody stopped, just him. The mafia just replaced them and acted like it was nothing. And meanwhile:

“-Chuuya you smell like incense. Did you go visiting those graves again?- shirase about chuuya, stormbringer

Chuuya keeps visiting those graves because even when no one remembers them, he does, because they were his friends, they were individuals. Hell, leave alone his friends, Chuuya fucking goes to talk to Arthur’s grave. That’s the type of person he is

Chuuya is emotional, he is straightforward, he is honest, he /cares/. Chuuya’s so opposite to the mafia ideals that it would be funny if it didn’t make me want to eat glass. In order to be in this organization he has to go against his personality, against his values and against his moral code. Do you have an idea of how tiring that is? Of how much that affects him? Even if he refuses to notice? So chuuya solved his conflict, he found his humanity but he did it in a place that constantly tries to take it away from him.

Now, how has he survived this long then? Because he has developed coping mechanisms but this only slow his downfall. It won’t stop it.

His first coping mechanism is one that I find /incredibly/ interesting. And I’ve never seen anyone talking about it: Selective deshumanization

This existed before the mafia but Chuuya made it stronger after becoming a mafioso. I’ve said it before, even though chuuya has so many hero like characteristics the reason he is a morally grey character is that he chooses. He decides that certain people are more important than others, he knows that he can’t protect everyone, he knows that in order to protect his people, he will have to sacrifice other people. So chuuya deshumanize that group of people as a defense mechanism, he needs to stop himself from looking at them as individuals. If you want examples of it, there’s Dazai, Randou, Addam and Verlaine. At first I really thought that it was a coincidence but it happens enough to be an identificable pattern. When skk met, Dazai got obsessed really fast, chuuya didn’t. Chuuya tried to keep his distance as much as possible because he knew that Dazai was an enemy. He didn’t make personal questions even though it was obvious that he found Dazai’s behavior weird, he refused as much as possible to give him personal information and more subtle but more important, Chuuya absolutely refused to call him by his name. He used lots of insults but never his name even when it was clear that he knew it, that was him trying to keep as much emotional distance as possible. And the moment he used it? It was over for him, because from there it doesn’t matter how much he tried he could never stop himself from looking at Dazai as a human being, worse than that, he ended up understanding him even against his wishes. Same happened with Arthur, he was just another crazy man obsessed with Arahabaki but the moment he talked about Verlaine? About how he was doing everything for his friend? He became a real person, he could identify with. Addam? Was just a bothersome machine, he also refused to call him by his name but by the end of it chuuya was using corruption because he considered Addam a friend that he loved regardless of his origin. Verlaine fucking ruined his life and killed the most important people in his life but once chuuya understood his reasons and his past, he empathized with him and defended that he indeed was a human being at the end of the day. What I’m trying to say is that chuuya tries to keep his emotional distance by deshumanizing people but he kinda fails. A LOT.

The second one is the anger. Chuuya can’t express his emotions easily, a lot of it came from the fact that he always had to be the strongest so it was impossible for him to express vulnerability and then he went into the mafia and if there’s a bad place to be vulnerable, this is it. Chuuya deals with every strong emotion transforming it into anger because that’s an emotional he can control. The devastating thing is that It doesn’t only apply for bad emotions, even when he is happy or grateful he feels like he can’t express it and that makes me want to jump from a very tall something.

The third one is evasion. I find this particularly funny because in almost every fanfic Dazai is the one that evades his feelings and just decides to stop thinking about certain stuff when in canon the one that does that is chuuya. Dazai intellectualize as a way of dealing with feelings because he doesn’t know how to process them, and he overthinks a lot because he can’t stop himself from doing it. That is why his brain is his worse enemy. Chuuya, on the other hand, just evades. He supress all the emotions that he can’t exteriorize as anger, he supress his worst fears and his biggest insecurities, he put all of it into a mental box and throws away the key. But they are still pretty much there, lurking in the dark. Most of his “instinctual” actions are in reality guided by all of this things that he is trying so hard to hide.

And the last one? Is probably the worse one. We already establish that Chuuya can’t deshumanize the people in his group so he tries so absurdly /hard/ to protect them. He is always ready to sacrifice himself if by doing it he can save the people he loves, he carries too much, so the rest won’t have to do it, he takes the worse jobs, he is in the front lines, he is always ALWAYS the one to be hurt first. It may seem different but he is basically in the same situation as he was with the sheep. Except that now is not his people that are asking for his sacrifice, now he is doing it himself. Because he knows that the people he loves can be stolen from him in any moment, so he over compensates by doing everything he can to avoid it.

“The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it”- Dazai, Dark era.

Not in the same way, never in the same way because that would be sacrificing his humanity but chuuya’s thought process is not that different from Dazai. He doesn’t avoid relationships, though, he does everything in his power to avoid losing them JUST LIKE DAZAI DOES. Dazai knows that he can’t control everything, he knows that the world is absurd and full of irregularities but it’s terrifying to live in this kind of world, so he tries to predict everything, he tries to be three steps ahead of everyone else even if that make him feel less of a human being, because maybe then he can make a difference, maybe then he can protect what he has. Chuuya does basically the same thing, in order to protect his people, he will be the strongest, he won’t fall, he won’t ask for help, he will be the one carrying everything. Do you have an idea of how lonesome that is? To know that you can’t depend on anyone? Chuuya is a people’s person but he is so incredibly /lonely/. He can never be their equal because he is too busy trying to protect them. And this happens because the mafia is just like this, a place of sacrifices. A place of losses. It’s not a place for long lasting relationships.

At least two of this coping mechanisms lead him to deshumanization even when he tries his best to avoid precisely that. So chuuya basically lives in the worst dilemma in earth and this much contradiction will kill him one day.

The only reason he is still able to be there is because in his position as executive he had never been in a position in which he had to choose between his friends and the major benefit of the organization.

Chuuya as the next mafia boss? is laughable

The whole organization would crumble in DAYS. And that’s because chuuya goes against the single most important principle of the organization.

He is loyal to the people in the mafia, not to the organization

Chuuya will sacrifice the whole organization in a minute for its members, that’s literally the OPPOSITE of what the mafia stands by. He can’t sacrifice in cold blood a friend, he just can’t do it, that goes against everything that he is. He refused to sacrifice Adam even though at that moment that seemed like the only option to save the city and the mafia and he still REFUSED. Because he simply can’t sacrifice a friend. It’s impossible to him. Q is another good example of how much of a terrible leader chuuya would be. Believe it or not killing Yumeno was the opposite of what a proper mafioso should’ve done. There’s a reason Mori ordered to bring Q alive and that’s because rationally speaking yumeno is a weapon, killing him won’t bring back the people that already died and honestly speaking Q’s life is far more valuable than most of the mafiosos but for chuuya? It wasn’t the case, he couldn’t be rational because /his/ people died because of Q because for him was more important to prevent this from ever happening again than to use Q.

So to summarize chuuya is stuck, he can’t leave the mafia because that could be to go against his identity and sense of humanity but staying there is slowly killing him because it obligates him to go against everything he is and to be completely lonely in a place that is dead on deshumanization. So he basically lives in a state of pressure and constant stress while feeling trapped and saying to himself that he is where he should be. The ideal place for chuuya, funnily enough would be the ADA. And I’m not saying this for Dazai but because of the objectives of the ADA. A place that is oriented to people, a place that values relationships, a place that revolves around protection. It drives me mad everytime I think about how ridiculous ADA coded chuuya is only to be in the mafia.

Okay so basically that is the end of the rant, if you read all the way to here, congratulations and thank you for your time.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #soukoku #bsd #bsd spoilers #analysis #mafia analysis #bsd mori #me fangirling about chuuya #what’s new #this somehow is longer than the two past analysis #sorry for being depressing

[doraambrose]

What do you think about Jason's relationship (platonic!!! Father and son stuff. Still can't believe this ship exists. ) with Bruce? Should they even interact at all if DC only makes Bruce abusive and cruel towards him? Or do you ignore whatever is on those pages like it was always meant to be and like a lot of the fandom does?

(Personally, Bruce shouldn't be the best dad but he should never have raised his hand against his kids, unless during sparring and fighting off mindcontrol. The only exception I would make is shortly after Jason died and Bruce, out of his mind with grief, hit Dick who had kind of tried to comfort him. But everything else? Laughably out of character.)

Hello! Thanks for the ask friend!

Bruce and Jason's relationship is vastly complicated, but I personally don't think they should be on the best terms.

Bruce is very similar to Jason in that he's been written either okay or horrible by dc writers, but actual good characterization in the last like 10-15 years is pretty rare.

In terms of characterization of Bruce, I'm not as well-versed as I am with Jason, but I have a pretty good idea of how he should be. Bruce is heavily flawed. He has some significant childhood trauma that never got truly dealt with,leading to the creation of the batman. I also sense he has bpd or at least bipolar or something like that, as well as a superiority complex. He's also very stubborn and set in his ways and his instinct is that he's always right and everyone should do what he says. He's controlling and a hypocrite. But he has the best of intentions. He wants to keep everyone safe, he loves his kids and he just wants to protect people, but it has to be his way. I fully believe that Bruce never actually intends to hurt his family, but mental illness mixed with a need for control and a lack of socialization can lead to hurtful actions. In gotham war, Bruce truly believes that what he did to Jason was what was best for him, despite how crazy and abusive it actually was. After Damian died, he loved and grieved so much but didn't know how to handle it. He couldn't live without him so he did everything possible to bring him back, hurting his other kids in the process, but he didn't think he was seriously hurting his kids.

Jason is also very stubborn and a hypocrite. He has some substantial childhood trauma that also didnt get proper attention. he's not as hot-headed as certain characterizations of him like to say, but he is a VERY emotional and emotion-driven person. He thinks with his heart more than his head at times. He has very strong opinions and beliefs. He also loves his family and wants to protect people, mainly children and women, and he also believes that his way is the right way.

Bruce and Jason both think the other is wrong and neither want to compromise. And Bruce has done so much to Jason. And jason doesn't understand Bruce's pov because neither of them can actually communicate with each other in a healthy way and neither of them have healthy ways of executing their beliefs and morals, their actions don't always do their intentions justice.

So I think their relationship is strained. They're too similar and too different at the same time. They both have too many problems and don't take good care of their mental health, leading to some really unhealthy Coping mechanisms. But I do agree that some of things Bruce and jason have done have been super out of character and totally could be erased lol

Thanks for the ask friend!

#jason todd #batfam #batman #red hood #dc comics #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #dc universe #dcu

[zwy01]

Blood Moon AU!! Part 1 - Nobles

Time for a second major AU yayy!! I’m still working on Millennium AU as usual, though I want to get started on another one that’s been on my mind since years ago but never really got the chance to put on paper.

So here we are. I’m calling this Blood Moon AU. The nobles and werewolves basically have a race swap in an almost brand new setting. Lukedonia and werewolf island still exist; it’s the characters that have changed.

All characters reference their canon counterparts to various degrees. Some are similar or even near identical to the original, while some are vastly different. This could apply to names, looks, personalities, heritage/family, moral alignment… etc. It’s gonna be fun! I’m going to let myself get crazy with this and change things up quite a bit, haha.

As for the story. To be completely honest, at this point I just want to start off this new AU as more of a simple artistic approach. Right now I’m much more interested in designing and drawing the characters rather than writing the story itself. Maybe I’ll come up with something much later but it won’t be nearly as complicated as Millennium AU, and it’ll be fairly straightforward. Even then, I don’t want to rush it so that’s for the future. If I end up liking this new AU more than I do right now, maybe I’ll give the story an honest shot and turn it into more of a long-term project, but time will tell.

(Fyi “Noblesse” does not exist in the world. Too early for details but they either never existed, are a now permanently extinct special type of noble, or they simply peaced out and ditched Earth and returned to their special heavenly realm… etc. Honestly doesn’t matter. In this AU’s setting, they are absent. “Raizel” and his brother do exist but they’re both human. Actual normal human beings, with a normal life, currently students at a normal high school, stuff like that. Just your average human. The trio are also unmodified normal human beings. They are scattered across the world and never meet each other. Basically, unlike their canon counterparts, their existence is minimal and contribute to almost nothing in this universe. It’s weird, I know! That’s just how this AU is set up)

I’m going to split the noble and werewolf characters into two parts. Doing the (originally werewolves) nobles first! Posting the werewolves in a future post aka. part 2.

The characters!

Lucretia Natalina “Lunark” Drosia: Leader of the Drosia Clan. Kendrick’s twin, and on-and-off lovers with Julius. A rather carefree woman who is primarily interested in having fun, and shows little to no concern for the future of Lukedonia as a whole. When it comes to her people, she is a decent Clan Leader and manages her family efficiently. Lucretia’s efforts only apply to her clan, and her interests in other noble affairs are almost nonexistent. She has a habit of ditching meetings and whatnots. Sometimes, she even tries to ignore the Lord’s summons but ends up going anyway because her lovely daughter makes her show up. The only thing that can get Lucretia’s blood pumping with true passion is an offer to spar. Lucretia is an excellent fighter. People have to be very careful to not interrupt her fights unless they want to unleash her wrath, because she hates it when people invite themselves into her business. She also likes to flirt with her opponents during spars. Lucretia has a bit of a weird relationship with Julius, who is the father of her daughter. They seem to have positive feelings for each other, but that’s only when both of them are very bored and have nothing better to do.

Kendrick Tian-Chen “Kentas” Ru: Leader of the Ru Clan. Lucretia’s twin. A prideful, stubborn man who believes that the stronger should rule the weak. Like his sister Lucretia, he likes to fight and enjoys a good spar. Sometimes, people can choose to settle a quarrel with Kendrick by offering to spar with him and he would gladly accept. You can trust him, because he’s a man of his word. No more grudges, no hurt feelings. Done. In a way, he’s quite simple. Unlike his sister, Kendrick does care about the future of Lukedonia. He has a strong moral code of his own, but that can be overridden by his belief of submitting to the strong. That is why Kendrick is extremely loyal to their Lord and never questions him even if the latter makes some controversial decisions. As of now, Kendrick has no children.

Marcus Duruvan “Maduke” Siriana: Leader of the Siriana Clan. Erica’s older brother, and the Lord’s advisor. The only person who truly has everyone’s best interests at heart. You can say he’s the most “good person” leaning guy in this entire AU. Marcus is quite worried about the future under their Lord’s reign. Life is pretty comfortable inside Lukedonia, which is by itself very isolated from the rest of the world. However, Marcus foresees the destruction of planet earth if no one stops the Lord, since the latter doesn’t care about other races and is only concerned with the prosperity of nobles. Though, he doesn’t want to overthrow the Lord and instead wants to convince him to step away from his current path of darkness. He believes there is still hope. Simultaneously, Marcus is secretly gathering followers and supporters who all share his beliefs and formed his own organization. Together they work to transport resources out of Lukedonia and deliver them to humans and werewolves in need because the Lord refuses the share.

Marcus is struggling to plan for the future of the Siriana Clan, in case the Lord gets tired of him and decides to kill him one day for “meddling” too much, because his younger sister Erica is insane and cruel which makes her the worst possible candidate for the next Clan Leader of Siriana. Marcus loves her, but also fears her. He doesn’t know what she is capable of. Marcus is trying to look for ways to bypass his sister and hopefully be able to hand over both his position and Soul Weapon to another pure-blooded Siriana who isn’t his sister.

Marcus had a son, but he was assassinated sometime after his coming-of-age ceremony and now Marcus is once again childless and without an heir. To this day no one can figure out who the culprit is.

Erica Siriana: Marcus’ younger sister, and next-in-line for the position of Siriana Clan Leader. Wife of Lord Maximilian, and mother of Ashlynn. Erica is a ruthless, bloodthirsty woman. She is actually the person who orchestrated her nephew’s assassination. She made sure he was killed, then got rid of his killers, whom she sent, with her own hands. No one is going to suspect a thing and they’ll never find out no matter how hard they try. Erica did this to eliminate brother Marcus’ heir so she can regain her position as first-in-line. She’s been after her nephew ever since he was born, but waited for two whole centuries before doing the deed. To Erica, she’s just getting back what she’s entitled to, which is the full power, control, and privileges of a Clan Leader. Marcus is trying to be discreet but if Erica ever finds out that her brother intends to bypass her and give his position and Soul Weapon to someone else, she might actually just kill him and take over the clan immediately. Erica is truly a terrifying, power-hungry woman who will do anything to reach her goals. She does not care for anyone aside from her daughter Ashlynn and husband Maximilian, whom she genuinely loves. As messed up as Erica is, she is capable of being very loving and committed to whom she treasures. She and her husband are absolutely addicted to each other and he would let her do anything her heart wishes for, even if she continuously breaks Lukedonian laws.

Vivienne Branwen Di Ashlynn: Name means “lively and blessed raven of dreams”. Daughter of Erica Siriana and Lord Maximilian, and the next Lord of Lukedonia. On the surface, Ashlynn isn’t as straightforward as her mother despite their similarities. Ashlynn is just as ruthless and bloodthirsty as Erica, but the former puts on a facade in front of her people and pretends to be a sweet, altruistic future Lord. The perfect angel princess. And she’s very successful at it. Ashlynn is energetic, talkative, and empathetic around her subjects. She always tells them about how she wants her father to teach her power so she can protect not only her subjects, but also people around the world so they don’t have to suffer from hunger and war. In reality, she doesn’t care about any of them and she honestly thinks of them as a burden. They’re nothing more than cockroaches to her, and she’s only doing this because she enjoys deceiving her people and pulling on their puppet strings. She welcomes the love and respect they give her, and at the same time pities them for not knowing better, for she’s had them fooled this entire time. The world is her stage, and she’s the center. Ashlynn only drops her act and returns to her true self around her parents, who not only tolerate, but also accept and even encourage their daughter’s behavior. Well, their entire family is insane. Erica and Maximilian are totally overindulging Ashlynn while being completely aware of the fact that she is just as insane as them with no attempt to correct her, because she’s their little princess and hey, if she wants the world, then they’ll give it to her. Like Erica, Ashlynn doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t her family. Ashlynn loves both of her parents to the moon and back, and she might as well kill anyone who dares to speak ill about either of them. No one is allowed to disrespect them in front of her. Not a single word.

Ashlynn has a crush on Dominic and wants him for herself one day.

Eutimio Friedrich Di Maximilian: Name means “good-spirited and peaceful ruler of the greatest”. The current Lord, husband of Erica Siriana, and father of Ashlynn. Maximilian firmly believes that nobles are the most supreme beings to exist on this planet, and that they have a right to rule over every other species. Humans, werewolves, whatever… well, for now he’ll let them be for as long as they’re still useful. He won’t hesitate to unleash his power on them if he loses his patience. From a world view, Maximilian would be categorized as “evil”, but he doesn’t think of himself as such. In fact, he believes that he is doing good for his people, who are his priority. Which is true from a certain perspective, especially to the nobles who share their Lord’s vision. To them, Lord Maximilian is the greatest Lord in all of noble history. To others who strongly disagree with him, he is the most terrifying and coldblooded Lord in existence. Maximilian is only concerned with the prosperity of Lukedonia and doesn’t quite welcome the idea of distributing resources with the rest of the world. He doesn’t want the nobles to simply exist alongside other species; he’ll make sure the nobles are on the very top of the food chain. Everyone else is irrelevant and they’re all at his mercy. Generally, opinions are very divided and you either side with him, or you don’t. Life is very, very comfortable inside Lukedonia, and indeed, to some nobles, that is all they care about. Those with more empathy see beyond the obvious and are concerned with what goes on outside Lukedonia. The thing with Maximilian is that despite showing neither mercy nor any sign of remorse for his deeds in the outside world, he is actually quite lenient and loving with his subjects. You can say he has two extreme sides to him. He’s very kind to his nobles, but only them. He doesn’t mind if Lucretia skips meetings; he’d let her be. Or when his servants make mistakes, when someone does something offensive, etc... it’s alright, no big deal. In a way, Maximilian’s Lukedonia is teeming with freedom like never before under the rule of his predecessors. This is where Marcus comes in. He is just nervous and overthinking about getting killed if he says the wrong thing, but in reality Maximilian doesn’t mind voices of objection. He’s not going to give anyone a treason sentence or kill them for saying what they really think of him. You can tell him you disagree with him, he’ll just shrug it off and laugh. Say all you want, he knows you’re trying to persuade him, he doesn’t care. He’ll just keep doing what he’s always been doing. Maximilian knows he’s the Lord, and ultimately it is his decision to make. Just don’t let Ashlynn know, because she’ll come after your head if she figures out that you had doubts about her precious Daddy.

Maximilian is a very loving husband and father to his family. He is obsessed with them just as much as they are obsessed with him. On a personal level, while Maximilian himself doesn’t crave for the blood of his own kind like his wife and daughter do, he doesn’t mind letting them do whatever they want for the funs and thrills. Erica and Ashlynn are free to break the law all they want. Though, they’re smart and strategic with it and don’t commit murder in broad daylight. Still, Maximilian is aware of his beloveds’ occasional killings, and he lets them be. He’s the type of person who would let them burn down the entirety of Lukedonia to nothing more than a pile of ash if that is what they wish to do. It’s no big deal, he’ll just rebuild Lukedonia to be even grander and more luxurious than before! To Maximilian, they are the only two existences in this world to come before Lukedonia. How sweet.

Zivon Tradio: Leader of the Tradio Clan. An elderly sorcerer who is quite the hard worker, and spends most of his time studying existing spells as well as coming up with new ones. He’s from the previous generation of nobles, and he stayed behind because he’s just too damn cool to die. Just kidding, his love for magic is why he’s still rocking it. It’s still too early! Zivon’s ultimate goal is to push the boundaries of noble magic and to create what has never been seen before. A true spectacle to behold. Zivon is one of Lord Maximilian’s favorite subjects and the latter even has an entire wifi system built and set up in Lukedonia as a gift just because the former has the hobby of streaming and likes being an “influencer”or whatever the humans call it. Zivon is quite an internet celebrity and Lord Maximilian is supportive of his work of “spreading superior noble influence over humans”. Zivon is also Princess Ashlynn’s tutor, who calls him “teacher”.

As of now, Zivon has no children.

Julius Loyard: Leader of the Loyard Clan. On-and-off lovers with Lucretia. An elegant man who is well-received by his fellow nobles. Julius is a man of few words and usually doesn’t express himself beyond the bare minimum required to be polite. While Julius does admit to enjoying the lavish lifestyle that was a gift from the Lord to all nobles, he is beginning to see why this is a problem for beings outside Lukedonia and starts to sympathize with them. It isn’t easy for him immediately to give up what he’s been used to all these years, but he’s starting to steer away from that lifestyle in support of the less fortunate. Julius was one of the first members to join Marcus’ secret organization of smuggling resources out of Lukedonia to help those in need. Currently, he’s responsible as the leader of the food distribution sector. In his free time, Julius is a jewelry designer and Lord Maximilian is a fan of his work.

Julius’ heir is his son whom he had with Lucretia. He is fond of her but doesn’t entirely agree with her rather carefree personality. They seem to have positive feelings for each other, but that’s only when both of them are very bored and have nothing better to do.

Giada Agvain: Leader of the Agvain Clan. Like Kendrick, she is extremely loyal to their Lord. She’s been by his side since the beginning, and they are childhood friends. Everyone knows that Giada used to feel one-sided love for the then-Maximilian and now Lord Maximilian, but what they don’t know is that she is still in love with him. Well, maybe it’s better for them to continue to believe that she has gotten over him. It’s not like he’ll ever like her back anyway, and you’ll never know what Princess Ashlynn will do if she finds out that anyone other than her precious Mommy is “coveting” her beloved Daddy. Giada is one of the few people who knows about Ashlynn’s true nature despite the latter’s angelic facade. While Giada does love Max on a personal level and is loyal to him, she doesn’t agree with his actions. She is also one of the first members of Marcus’ organization. Currently, Giada is responsible as the leader of the money distribution sector. In her free time, Giada tends to a small spider lily garden.

Giada’s heir is her daughter whom she had with an unnamed noble woman.

Dominic Raffaello “Dorant” Blerster: Leader of the Blerster Clan. A calm and rational man who remains unfazed in extreme situations. He is also the youngest to become Clan Leader, because his mother and predecessor saw so much potential in him, she passed over her title and Soul Weapon to him as soon as he came of age. Dominic pretends to be fairly neutral, and most people think he isn’t dedicated to anything or anyone, but he’s actually Lord Maximilian’s right hand man in the shadows. On the surface, he is simply Clan Leader of the Blersters and does a good job of managing his clan. When he no longer needs to act as Clan Leader, Dominic goes to the castle and reports everyone’s moves to his Lord. Dominic is actually a member of Marcus’ secret organization and oversees the medical distribution sector… as a double agent. His allegiance is with the Lord and he’s only there to watch what everyone else is doing to report back to his master. That includes a long list of who is working with Marcus, what resources they have been smuggling out of Lukedonia, who is on the receiving end… etc. Every. Single. One. So Lord Maximilian is very much aware of Marcus’ “betrayal” thanks to Dominic. Curiously, Lord Maximilian tells Dominic to just let them be. Perhaps he finds this to be amusing. Nobody knows what he’s thinking. Dominic, on the other hand, is in total awe of his Lord for his immense generosity for the “traitors” even though they clearly don’t deserve it.

Dominic doesn’t know that Ashlynn has a crush on him.

As of now, Dominic has no children.

Undine Mergas: Daughter of the leader of the Mergas Clan. A woman with a short temper who is also easily provoked. Undine’s father, the current Mergas Clan Leader, believes that she is unfit to become Clan Leader due to her personality and tendencies to boss the knights around instead of being a responsible and respectful leader like she is supposed to, but he is hopeful that she will change one day. Undine is best friends with Mimi and the two of them are almost always seen together. On one of her travels to the outside world, Undine met a human named Michael Travis Osborn by chance and she has had a crush on him ever since. He’s pretty cute. Maybe the Lord will let her capture him and bring him back to Lukedonia, she thinks.

Mimi Elenor: Daughter of the leader of the Elenor Clan. A woman with a similar personality to her best friend Undine, but less impulsive and more calm. That’s why they get along and are best friends because they have much in common. Mimi has an older brother so she likely won’t become the next Elenor Clan Leader, but she’s fine with that. In fact, she’s glad she won’t become Clan Leader because all those responsibilities, hassles, sitting in meetings all day, blah blah blah… ew, just too much work. She just wants to have fun, so her brother better be competent so she won’t have to bother with her clan at all. Mimi, like Undine, also has a crush on Michael Travis Osborn. They chat about how cute he is. Both of them want to capture him and bring him into Lukedonia. They’re thinking about discussing this with the Lord. If Lord Maximilian hears about this, he’d approve of the capture and tell them to go ahead and enjoy themselves because of course he wants all of his nobles to get their hands on everything they wish for. Plus, these two remind him of his daughter Ashlynn so he’d be even more generous towards them.

Kushaal Kertia: Leader of the Kertia Clan. Cousin of Galileo. A respected fighter known for his immense speed and agility even amongst the Kertia. Kushaal is also honorable. He dislikes dirty fighting and is fairly open to acknowledging his own weaknesses and strives to become even stronger and faster. He has heard about a certain blonde werewolf warrior who is the fastest of his pack, and wishes to fight him one day. While Kushaal enjoys and supports the luxurious lifestyle given to him by their Lord, he believes that humans and werewolves could use some help from Lukedonia. After all, if they’re all gone, he’s not going to have anyone interesting to fight with anymore. Kushaal would love to spar with the werewolves, so he hopes that they’re doing well. In his free time, Kushaal likes to collect rare werewolf artifacts to display in his home because they feel familiar to him, for some odd reason.

As of now, Kushaal has no children.

Galileo Kravei: Son of the leader of the Kravei Clan. Cousin of Kushaal. A man who has a bit of an inferiority complex because his abilities seem to have hit a wall, and he can’t get stronger with his own strength. Galileo is probably going to get by just fine, even though he himself is more impatient than anyone in terms of wanting to gain strength. Other than that, no one really knows much about him since he tends to keep to himself. In his free time, he plays with his three supernatural pet aquatic snakes: Ramen, Ramyeon, and Lamien. Galileo has a huge love-hate crush on Kendrick, and people will tell you he’s both extra mean and extra nice to him. He sends him cheesy “let’s fight” love letters written on rose scented paper. Yeah. He’s totally in love.

And that’s it for now!

Again, very open to questions and discussion. Quite happy about my second major AU! While this post only touches the surface of what I have in mind, I have a feeling that I will grow to like this AU even more. Maybe I’ll even create brand new OCs specific to this AU lol.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for future posts!

#noblesse #manhwa #myart #fanart #kori’s blood moon au #alternate universe #lunark #kentas #maduke #erin #muzaka #zaiga #ashleen #juraki #garda #dorant #gayare #kuharu #urne #mirai

[themagnusbane]

I swear, in all these Only Friends discourse that has been raging since the finale dropped on Saturday, I wonder if anyone actually took a second to be like: this story is being told through the eyes of 20-21 year old college students. They are the mouthpiece through which this story is being narrated. Is it possible therefore that their age, their lack of experience, their slightly sheltered lives, might play a role in how they navigate their friendships, the world at large and how they react?

Like @jojotichakorn has started several times, and I agree a 100%; this story isn’t a morality lesson. Nobody is saying casual sex bad. You are evil if you’re non-monogamous. Blah blah blah. As a graysexual polyam person who just uses the term queer cuz it’s easier than me having a 30 mins convo with a stranger about my orientation and how everything intersects for me, this show was everything. Cuz PEOPLE ARE MESSY! People are messy and judgemental and annoying. Just because they’re queer doesn’t mean they WON’T be messy. I was especially a fucking shithead at 21. Hell, I was a virgin until I turned 22 (not quite as sanctimonious as Mew, thank SPIRIT!!). Who I am now at 33 is vastly different from who I was over a decade ago. I moved out at 22. Been living on my own for that time. The person I am today is a product of all I have seen and experienced. I lost the black and white lens through which I viewed the world, in that period of time.

And you know what? I do feel that these kids (cuz they are kids to me. I haven’t sat in a university class in almost 13 years 🤷🏾‍♀️), will grow, and learn and evolve. Boston I think will do fantastically well in New York. He will continue to come into his own. Will figure out what kind of relationships work best for him (both in regards to his friendships and his sexual and romantic—if he wants any—relationships), and he will thrive.

Mew will eventually get that stick out of his arse and get off his high horse. He will realize that people are messy, imperfect, and make mistakes, and that he too is flawed. And that is okay. That he doesn’t need to be burdened to replicate the perfect home life he had with his mothers. That hell, just because he fancies himself better than others, doesn’t mean that he isn’t as capable of the depraved things the human mind can conjure up 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Ray will probably battle with his addiction all his life. Will realize that battling addiction is a life-long process. Will lean on the support he has. Will probably learn to forgive his mum, and come to terms with her frailty as a human being, and what that meant with regards her suicide. He will also probably let himself admit that as much as he loved her, and wanted her to hold him and love him, he is justifiably angry at her that she did neither of those things, and then left him. He will probably confront his dad about the role he played, and didn’t play in all of this. He might decide to break up with Sand later. And they will still be good friends. Or Sand might be that ex he hasn’t spoken to in years, yet he still thinks of and smiles when he hears I Wanna Be Yours.

Same goes for Sand, and Top and Nick as well.

And who knows, at some point Cheum might realize that she can be quite the shitty friend. That she’s been a shitty friend. She might reach out to her now former friends, and honestly sincerely apologize. Or not. That’s another thing. Some people take forever to grow. And some don’t learn a lick from their experiences. And when time has passed and they looked back at all their burned bridges and try to reconnect, they are left with hands fluttering in the wind, and everyone they love out of reach 🤷🏾‍♀️.

But yeah. I don’t know about y’all. Maybe you were well adjusted uni students who were always right and knew the right words to say, and didn’t fuck up every other Saturday, and whose lives were peachy. But I was a dumbass, making dumbass choices, being a sanctimonious dumbass, and being an absolute menace. And that was how I watched the show. Knowing that this is a story of these kids, told to us by THESE kids. P’Jojo was just the conduit for their story. But it is ultimately THEIRS. I just watched it for them. Not for any moral lessons (this isn’t a parable or a fable. And I say this as someone who has been fascinated by mythology since I was 7), but to be entertained by the lives of these messy kids, crash-figuring their way to adulthood, and thanking the universe that my early 20s are way behind me, cuz fucking hell. That era of my life was some shit-show!

#only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #only friends spoilers #only friends finale #only friends boston #only friends mew #only friends ray #only friends cheum

[communistkenobi]

sorry for sending this and getting involed while everyone else is being a dick about it. please dont think i agree with them.

but i do want to say that like. the genital preference thing is just like, a preference. like some people prefer to have sex in certain ways and thats not always possible with a given person's anatomy. i dont think its like a moral issue to say like for example "i like eating pussy but i prefer not to suck a dick" because those are two different things? and it doesnt necessarily come from transphobia either, i think theres more nuance than that.

there are plenty of reasons that someone might prefer a given set of genital traits (idk how to phrase that) like some people vastly prefer sucking a dick and thats great and fine and someone without that wouldnt be able to satisfy them in the ways they want to

like it will ofc get transphobic if there are assumptions about a persons anatomy based on whether theyre trans. like "i wouldnt have sex with a trans woman bc i dont like dicks" IS transphobic. but the statment "i dont want to have sex with a person with a dick" is just, a preference. the transphobia, i think, comes from the given assumptions about what trans bodies look like, both before and after surgery, thats where the political and social implications of genital preference come in. well that and the set of sex acts that people assume are possible with any given genitals.

wrt the sex acts thing like i, a pre bottom surgery trans guy, can have piv sex using my dick, which people would not think given the political and social implications of having a vagina. i think at a certain point blanket statements dont cover it and you would be Much better off confining it to specific sex acts and discussing with a person beforehand.

ftr i dont think cis people use the term genital preference acceptably and we should absolutely take that phrase away from them. but that doesnt make the term itself transphobic imo

I guess I’m just not willing to give this line of argument a lot of credit given how deeply this conversation is entrenched in (especially transmisogynistic) transphobia. I do not think it is possible to fully extricate yourself from cis-heteronormative ideas about bodies when talking about genitals in general.

And to be clear, I agree with you in the sense that I think moralising all aspects of sexual desire can lead to really bad conclusions - my stance on this issue is not predicated on the fact that I think all sexual desire and sexual expression is indicative of some underlying moral principle (ie the notion that BDSM or kinky sex means you love abusing people, or that engaging in group sex means you’re needy and self-centred, etc), because I don’t believe that and I think that can quickly lead to reactionary ideas about sex. But I am unwilling to cede rhetorical ground to “it’s just a preference” not because I think it’s impossible to prefer certain styles of sex over others - or even certain genitals over others - without attaching grand moral values to those preferences, but because of how deeply violent and malicious these ideas are so often expressed in the world. There is a dedicated slur for trans women that is premised on the fact that they have “the wrong” set of genitals, and by “pretending” otherwise (ie by being women) they are “tricking” men into finding them attractive or having sex with them. Because genitals are synonymous with gender by societal standards, because their presence and absence within gendered spaces are so deeply policed, because trans people having the genitals we have is itself seen as a criminal act (“concealing” our “true nature” for “nefarious” purposes) as well as evidence of the fraudulence of our humanity, I am extremely reluctant to entertain casual conversations that conclude with “well it’s just a preference.” Like, okay, maybe it is! But when I see that articulated in ways that frame some genitals as universally “repulsive” or disgusting, both of which are aesthetic assessments with very loaded (even if unintentional) moral judgements, transphobia alarm bells start going off in my head. Trans people are existentially dislocated from public spaces because our genitals determine access to basic necessities like bathrooms, changing rooms, dressing rooms, and the like - we do not belong because we are trying to enter gendered spaces with the “wrong” genitals attached to our bodies. Because access to public spaces is gendered, and because that gendering process is mediated through your genitals, it’s not just our identity being called into question but our ability to be human beings in public space. Our genitals are the site of metaphysical societal anguish over the nature of gender itself. Those are some pretty high stakes!

If someone prefers some sets of genitals over others, that is not an automatic comprehensive condemnation of their moral character vis a vis trans issues - it is, however, if the way they articulate that preference is indistinguishable from transphobic rhetoric, and if you step two paces in any direction you will encounter crowds of people doing just that.

#asks #even old new york was once new amsterdam #transmisogyny tw #transphobia tw

[codename-adler]

i’ll oh so probably regret letting myself roam Good Omens Tumblr like an absolutely feral goat-pigeon but i just have to say I JUST–

it’s about home alright?

Aziraphale has never fell (yet), only assigned (or perhaps demoted?) to Earth and humans. Heaven is his home. that is where he comes from, what he has always known. he may live on Earth and in his bookshop, may spend the rest of eternity there if allowed, but he’ll always have his first home waiting for him, or perhaps his first home he is waiting for to call him back, tugging incessantly at the back of his mind. it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t fit there quite as nicely as the other angels. it doesn’t matter that Gabriel and the others threatened him and everything he loves. it doesn’t matter the danger, the toxicity, the abuse, the manipulation, the selfishness, the cold and cruelty of it all. that’s his home. Heaven is home. and angels are supposed to love and see the best in everything, unconditionally. it doesn’t mean they see right, but that’s angel eyes for you. and so the bookshop is his home-away-from-home. it isn’t meant to last forever, as he tells Crowley. it isn’t. the bookshop is Aziraphale’s own little corner of Heaven on Earth, his physical shelter among humans. but it is just a place. that doesn’t diminish his love for it, for what it contains, nor the time he has passed in it or the people he has shared it with. to Aziraphale, the place doesn’t equate the memories. it’s just a place. it’s just an impermanent and concrete house. never a forever home.

Crowley… lost his home. Heaven was home, and he rejoiced creating for it, expanding it. but Crowley fell (and that we must see in s3 i am begging) and the doors of Heaven locked him out. whether he bargained to come back, immediately denied or accepted his fate, took centuries to come to terms with his exile or with his flawed perception of Heaven–we don’t know. but two facts remain: Crowley lost his home, and Crowley can never go back. he does not welcome Hell as his new home either. unlike Aziraphale, his time on Earth is never framed in temporality. he does not have that anchor he can rely on in either Hell or Heaven. he’s going through the motions as best as he can, coming to terms with his fall from above and the Above’s fall in his esteem and personal concept of morality. so no home. forever nomad. except. except. Aziraphale and the bookshop. those he always relied on, and he told his angel so. ok, yeah, duh, obvious. to everyone, including us. but not to Aziraphale. angel doesn’t know home for him and home for Crowley are vastly different concepts. we know Crowley relinquished his flat to Shax when she took his job, but did he tell Aziraphale? anyone? no. because the flat doesn’t matter. the flat is to Crowley what the bookshop is to Aziraphale, and even less than that. the Bentley would rank a little closer to the truth. but even the Bentley he lost once in s1, and mourned it, but it’s more like losing a limb. not your heart. your heart you keep safe at home. in a bookshop. in the hands of the angel you love.

but your angel doesn’t see your home for what it is and is wholeheartedly willing to leave it behind and take it away from you.

but your demon doesn’t see your home for what it is and is hellbent on forsaking it and keeping you away from it.

their homes don’t align. and so their hearts cannot either.

Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever…

No… No, I don’t suppose it does.

the whole exchange is a double one-sided conversation tainted by their respective traumas.

Aziraphale says I’m touched you care so much about my love for the bookshop, but don’t you be sad Crowley, I’m bringing both of us home now because I love you and I’ve always wanted to give you back what you lost. Crowley hears This place you’ve let yourself call home? I don’t care for it, nor for your heart, and I’m crushing both because only Heaven is forever—and you were a sad fool to believe anything different would happen.

Crowley responds I can see now I was entirely mistaken to trust you would care for my heart and I’m letting you go back to the place you truly want, the only place that doesn’t want me, and that hurts angel. Aziraphale hears I’m judging your choices and feel such pity for your dreams of home that I would never want to be a part of it.

THIS IS MY HOME. YOU ARE IT. // I WANT BETTER FOR US. FOR YOU.

they’ve become so intrinsically intertwined and obsessed and with each other that they cannot fathom the other thinking of home differently. they are BLIND. blinded and blinding. 6,000 years of loyal companionship will do that to you. and perhaps it is time for each of them to grow a little on their own, so they can circle back to each other, back home home, back to them, their us, just like stars in a nebula align.

#oh god that was entirely too long for something clearly not innovative #y’all get it tho right? #mr neil gaiman sir served us trope after trope after trope #eventually miscommunication was bound to show up #and it think the focus on eyes and glasses is too important to not interpret it as a sign that THEY DONT SEE EYE TO EYE #THEY DONT SEE HOME THE SAME WAY #THEY DONT SEE EACH OTHER #AH #good god good omens #good omens #good omens 2 #anthony j crowley #a z fell #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable fandom #ineffable divorce #neil gaiman #go2 #david tennant and michael sheen #david tennant #michael sheen #terry pratchett

[bohemian-nights]

Even in the book it’s clear that the relationship between Rhaenyra and Daemon isn’t healthy (in fact you can make the argument that no romantic relationship depicted in any of George R.R. Martin’s work is completely healthy) and isn’t something anyone should strive for.

So when I first watched the show and saw the romantic twist they put on Rhaenyra and Daemon I was confused (as someone who read the book first HOTD is to me what the Percy Jackson movies are to that fandom, enjoyable but differing vastly from the source material) and not going to lie intrigued.

But then as the episodes went on I developed a very big love-hate relationship with Daemon. Episodes 6-7 pissed me off 🫠 Hooking up with anyone at the funeral of your wife isn’t cool (also Harwin who was Rhaenyra’s lover for ten years who she had three children with just died) I mean I get that everyone grieves in different ways but the fact that he slept with Rhaenyra especially when I know how he treated Laena (and his daughters to some extent) 🥴🙄

I would also like to say that I don’t play around with domestic violence (fictional and in the real world) so Daemon choking Rhaenyra really turned me off his character. It also felt like another moment in HOTD to showcase brutal violence against women.

There are a handful of potentially healthy romantic relationships(Rhaena and Garmund might have actually had a happy marriage), but yeah if someone is using Dumbnyra as an example of one 🫠

To me, the show never framed their relationship in a romantic context. I mean Rhaenyra is underage when we first meet her, she looks super young next to her overly grown uncle, and the necklace he gives her could constitute as grooming.

I think people got confused with the “switch up” because they are the only “shippable couple”(I say this term loosely because shippable to this fandom equals too white people who breathe near each other hence why we have the clusterf*ck that is lucemond) on the show so far. If the red flags didn’t ring for people in episode one they should’ve rung by episode four when he abandoned her in the brothel. People seemed to ignore this because she’s 18, but abandoning someone in a dangerous place they aren’t familiar with no matter their age is really scary

This is going to be a very controversial take(I’m not a person who gets off on seeing domestic violence), but it seems like the choking scene was necessary since people thought Dumbnyra was supposed to be a romantic couple 🤷🏽‍♀️

Daemon from day one was a crazy a**hole who hardly cared about anyone. He does have redeeming qualities in the book(notably how is with Laena and Nettles, which they better not screw over because Ryan Condal himself has said the man is a gray character and she’s his only light now), but so far they’ve cut those parts out and turned him into a man obsessed with his brother.

Rhaenyra, as are all the other women in his life, is a causality of his obsession. People wanted her to be his exception, but she was never framed in that way. In fact, she’s one of his first “victims.”

Daemon has not changed fundamentally since episode one. So it makes sense why he’d violently snap at her too. Out of all the violent scenes directed at women in the past season, the choking scene makes the most sense to me.

Like I said above, I hope we do see him change(and yes I’ll be biased and say I want him to change for Nettles like he did in the books) because he is supposed to be a morally gray character, but Rhaenyra is not part of the lighter side of him.

#house of the dragon #hotd #they’ve screwed daemon over in a lot of ways #we are getting way too much of the dark side of him #anti daemyra #bnasks #bnask #daemon targaryen #daemon is a very complicated character #daemon characterization

[junianashore]

I seem to have messed up the queue timing for this post, but regardless: onto the first Trimax volume! Even though this is a vastly different canon from Tristamp, we’re leaving the boundaries of my vague familiarity with the plot. I can only imagine being an original reader and finally getting to return to the story after a hiatus.

-I love how easily this page gives us a sense of the intervening two years spent with Lina and her grandmother. Has Vash ever settled down with anyone for that long before…and now that I think about it, has Wolfwood? He apologizes for breaking up their little family when he probably has no idea what it’s like himself : (

-Meryl is back! And she’s spent the last two years defending both Vash and her chosen line of work. In this canon they spent four months together before the two year time skip (I think in Tristamp it’s only about two months, most of which we don’t get to see.)

-Well this poor woman is traumatized for life. A normal day in town, getting crushed by a stranger falling from an exploding building into your car. Also, Vash has a rather skewed idea of the average insurance agent’s capabilities now, doesn’t he?

-100+ years of insane training gets you this, apparently. I am picturing teenage Vash surrounded by shattered wine glasses.

-Unlike the insurance girls, Wolfwood hasn’t quite mastered the art of tailing Vash yet. Got to start waking up at 4 am!

-I mostly understood what was going on here, which is wonderful! All of the action is neat, even if I hardly ever have comments on it.

-This arc was quite the interesting moral quandary. I like how Brad and Doc neatly summarize Vash’s philosophy in terms of Wolfwood’s “Even people who will never fight would pick up a gun if their loved ones were killed” quote. For him, the whole world is classified under the category of loved ones who deserve the extra mile when it comes to their safety and happiness.

#Trigun #trigunbookclub #trimax volume 1

[mothman-clarice]

Ok so I watched american psycho for the first time last night and I got a great idea for a cool crossover/thought experiment.

What if Patrick Bateman met Hannibal Lecter?

Quick note: I haven't read the book american psycho but I have done a little research about it. Also I'm aware that theres a lot of debate on whether or not patrick actually kills anybody since he is a very unreliable narrator. For the sake of this analysis we will assume all of his murders are real since I dont feel like opening up that complicated can of worms lol.

So first I'd like to do a little character analysis/compare and contrast with both of them cus I think these characters are very interesting to compare.

Let's see what they have in common first. They both are serial killers and cannibals who are lethally efficient and prolific. They are both very successful with Bateman being a millionaire wall street investor and hannibal being Lithuanian royalty and a successful psychiatrist. They are characterized as having some sort of mental illness/disorder, bateman obviously being a stereotypical psychopath plus possibly antisocial personality disorder and hannibal having several which I cant name off the top of my head. They are both known for having "high class" taste and deeply emerse themselves in fine culture.

Now let's talk about their differences...

While yes they both share one key character trait (being murderers) they are still vastly different in terms of personality and behavior. Let's start with their attitude/tendencies towards murder.

Hannibal may be a prolific vicious murderer but if you look closely enough you will see he actually has some form of moral compass. He never hurts children, only adults over the age of 20. He rarely if ever kills women (at least to my knowledge, I haven't read all the books or seen all the movies) which is very likely rooted in his chivalrous nature. He never kills out of the blue, he always has some reason for it, be it his victim making a rude remark or doing something hannibal finds reprehensible. No matter what, he always has some reasoning behind his killings. So while yes he is a vicious murderer, he does actually have a moral compass if you look hard enough.

And then there's Patrick Bateman.

Patrick's murderous behavior is completely different from hannibal. He is erratic and random, killing whoever just so happens to be closest whenever he gets the urge. He has compulsions to kill whereas hannibal pretty much has full self control and only kills of his own free will. Patrick never has any clear reasoning for his murders beyond very vague rationalizations which mostly boil down to "they are different from me" or they said something he perceived as a personal insult. Unlike hannibal, bateman has absolutely no moral compass since he completely lacks empathy. He despises anyone who is higher or lower class than him (especially the lower class), he despises women and views them as objects made for his sexual pleasure and nothing else. Women, especially sex workers, are actually his primary targets since he already views them as subhuman and knows he has great power over them physically and often financially. To him humans are tools he uses to achieve his desires. He completely lacks any emotion, even saying his only emotions are greed and disgust.

He is the purest example of the Id you could possibly think of. His brain is controlled by the most base primal instincts: hoard resources to preserve your own survival, fight and kill anyone you see as a threat or as different from you, and have sex as much as possible. His ultimate goal in life is to fit in with the rest of the white cishet male wall street yuppies, his "tribe" if you want to continue with the primitive themes.

In regards to emotion hannibal does very much feel. Yes his perception of emotion may be different from most people but he still absolutely has the capacity to feel sadness, love, joy, and more alongside anger and disgust. He may be violent but he is not devoid of empathy. We all know he falls deeply in love with clarice because he empathizes with her trauma and struggle. He recognizes her frustration with trying to get the male dominated world to notice her capability and strength. He marvels at her brilliance and adores her independence, he loves her, so so much.

What does bateman love? Well he certainly loves money and power. But does he feel that way about anything else? No. The closest thing he feels to love is lust, primal carnal desire. He hates women, he only values them for sex and nothing else. (Sorry to break the essay emerson but I just need to say this. Why didnt this guy just get a fleshlight? A sex doll? Like if you hate women so much but wanna fuck just get a fuckin toy dude, I'm sure they existed in the 1980s 🙄)

Another thing I noticed they differed with is their attitude towards wealth and media. Patrick is obviously obsessed with both. Media permeates every moment of his existence, constantly listening to music every chance he gets, "watching" movies (mostly just playing them as background noise), obsessing over p0rnography, and so much more. His attitude towards porn is especially interesting to me as he doesnt seem to consume it in the way people normally do. The first scene that comes to mind is the one where hes on a phone call with Evelyn while a porn video plays on his tv. He doesnt even look at the screen, he seemingly shows zero interest. Theres nothing near him in the scene that would suggest he was "enjoying" it (tissues, lotion, y'know..). Its like he just put it on as background noise just like he does with movies. He has similar behavior when he brings in the escorts and rambles about music while instructing them to perform for him, despite the fact he spends most of the beginning walking around his apartment not even looking at the women. It's like he has no idea how human sexuality works, he obviously doesnt feel horny given those two examples, it's like he just has sex and looks at porn because it gives him some kind of status or maybe it just gives him something to do. Maybe he does it purely because it seems like something a "normal human" would do.

As for his obsession with wealth, bateman seems to have a similar attitude. He hates going out with people to diners since we know he hates people in general. He seems to only go out with his fellow yuppies to feel like hes part of something. He pretends to get along with them and says anything they like to hear, putting on a character as if he was playing out a fantasy in his head. He expects people to be impressed with his wealth and feels deeply insulted when they're not. He sees wealth as a necessity, he constantly needs to be richer and more extravagant than everyone else. He is the ultimate personification of greed, a gluttonous, jealous dragon whose hoard is never big enough.

As for hannibal? Having been raised in royalty he naturally grew accustomed to lavish living and views it as his normal. He feels most comfortable having gourmet meals regularly, his day clearly planned out with plenty of activities to do, and generally a life full of savoring the finer things and enjoying many of the pleasures of noble life. Unlike patrick who's idea of lavish is hoarding expensive things he doesn't need and parading them around to inflate his ego, hannibal's idea of lavish living is playing piano, watching Shakespeare plays, reading classical literature, admiring fine art both old and new. He has no need for parading around his wealth because it doesnt matter to him.

You see what I mean? Bateman views wealth as a tool to gain status and be part of a community. Hannibal does not really perceive wealth since it has always been a part of his life, he doesnt want more wealth since riches alone dont give him pleasure. To hannibal wealth is simply the norm and something he pays no mind to, whereas patrick is utterly and completely addicted to it.

I feel like I've rambled long enough and pinned down their primary differences. I honestly had a lot of fun writing this! I find both characters incredibly fascinating and I thoroughly enjoyed dissecting them both side by side. I hope you all liked it too of course.

Also, good news! I'm finally starting my week long vacation from work so I'll have a lot more free time to post. So look forward to more activity from me in the future :)

#clarice starling #hannibal #hannibal lecter #silence of the lambs #sotl #the silence of the lambs #thomas harris #hannibal the cannibal #patrick bateman #american psycho #slashers #movie icons #movie discussion #cult film

[sparrow-orion-writes]

Today on: Blorbo Blursday

Religious Trauma, Ari's Upbringing, and Growing up Transgender

Ari is the protagonist of Out of Sight and Mind, the second instalment of a post-apocalyptic trilogy about people trying to do their best in a world that wants to eat them alive.

Ari is a fascinating character, or at least I find him fascinating. Largely because there are points where I think you really understand him, even if you think to yourself, "Yeah, there's something deeply wrong with you."

Ari grew up in the town of Sight, a place where the water is clean, the walls are high, and people rarely leave or, enter. Its location makes for good self-sufficiency, but it's its long history of religious texts, ceremonies, ideals, and morals, is what really keeps Sight separated from everywhere else in Arcadia.

People don't get in without being specifically vouched for. To stay, you have to convert to their religion. The people inside Sight do not tolerate outsiders and are raised to be fearful of the 'evils' of the outside world.

And Ari ran away at 16, even though he was being raised as a religious leader. Why? Because he knew he was never going to be happy there.

So how has his religion traumatised him? And what impact did that trauma have?

Identity

In some slight prequels to the novel, I explored how Ari's sense of identity was growing up. He felt controlled, and often couldn't make his own decisions. He was held, eternally, in a stasis of being told he had to grow up much faster than he wanted - whilst still being entirely at the whims of his parents.

As an adult, now in his 30s, Ari clings to the morals and ideals of his religion despite the fact having long since abandoned it. This keeps him locked in a state of guilt, repression, and self-hatred that refuses to let him fully realise his sense of self.

Temperament

Depending on who you are, your interactions with Ari can be vastly different, however most would describe him as irritable. Often, he is judgemental, too, and overly critical of the people around him, purposefully isolating himself and others.

Family

He has a very warped view of what a family should be. He perceives parents as abusive jailers. His brother as some harsh critic. It doesn't occur to him that his brother was utterly unaware of how his parents abused him, because they were not the same with him. Therefore, he perceives his brother as on "their side" and is therefore not someone he can trust.

He is more relieved than upset that his parents are dead, and does not regret not attending their funeral. However, he admits that sometimes he wonders what life would have been like if he had a chance to be accepted.

Wealth and Knowledge

Ari's religious community is wealthy both materialistically and in terms of knowledge. In his upbringing, these are things to be kept within the community - not shared with outsiders. After living outside of Sight for so many years, he has seen what remains of Arcadia and the variety of people living in ignorance and squalor. Nothing has infuriated him more. It was sheer spite of this that put him in the position to sit the entrance exams for university, and then later, to accepting Ana's offer to work for the Lighthouse*.

Relationships

Here's a good one, and half the plot of the book. Ari does not trust people, he does not believe in inherent goodness because he doesn't believe himself to be good, and thanks to his religion, that makes him bad. So when it comes to Edward, his main love interest in the novel, he's a little bit astounded by him. He's worked with Edward for the past two years and sort of unconsciously avoids him a lot of the time because his own feelings of contentment unnerve him. Edward makes him feel happy, relaxed, he has Good Vibes; firstly, Ari doesn't believe he deserves comfort because of decisions he'd made, and secondly, he's never been around someone he feels genuinely comfortable with. He doesn't believe he has a right to love, experiencing it or otherwise. He mostly pushed all direct thought of meaningful relationships - platonic, familial, romantic - completely out of his mind. But over the course of the book as he and Edward get closer and closer, he has to confront the grey areas because he doesn't want to consider Edward a bad person. Because he doesn't think Edward is a bad person. By proxy, he's then forced to confront his opinions of himself, of his brother, of his friends, and all shit starts to hit the fan.

Running Away from Home / Growing up Trans

In Ari's culture, women and womanhood is seen as protected and divine. He was being raised to be a leader of the community, as his own mother had been. But he knew that he wasn't a woman, and the sheer self-hatred that brought him was incomparable. It was a prayer that told him to leave. And even after all this time and the things he's suffered, he still believes that moment was divine intervention. Ari left everything because he wasn't willing to force himself into a position that - for the rest of his life - would be a lie. He would be forced to live every second of his existence as someone he didn't want to be. The though made him so miserable that he wasn't unknown to be a frequent drinker. The cost of this was that for the rest of his life he would have to believe himself as a heretic of the religion he still so much adored. And though over time he'd learned critical thought, analysis, began to understand indoctrination, that nagging guilt would never leave him.

Some Notes:

Ari is a functioning alcoholic, largely because he is an incredibly anxious person who thinks constantly of what other people think. This goes back to his upbringing and fear of judgement, especially in death. He feels constantly watched.

He does not talk about being transgender. Whilst not particularly ashamed of who he is, he doesn't like other people to know much about him.

Ari does not think he's worthy of Edward's love because he let down so many people when he was younger.

Ari's brother, Eli, often does not understand him and the two argue for much of the book. Later, it's shown that Eli had tried desperately to get to know Ari, but always felt shut off by him.

In the third book, April refers to Ari jokingly as Ember's "adopted dad," something that makes him feel physically sick from the association of parents with being abused.

*The Lighthouse is the organisation that Ari currently works for, and is a mutual aid group that supplies food and education throughout Arcadia.

Feel free to ask me questions, so I can develop some ideas more clearly! Asks also help inspire me with my writing!

#my writing #blorbo blursday #wip; out of sight and mind

[coinandcandle]

Hello, I hope you're having a good day!

I am considering starting to work with Apollo because he reached out to me, but I really hate his myths. They make him seem like such a bad person in my eyes. I understand myths are not facts, and the way people interpret God's is all subjective, it's just art and poetry. But how can I come to terms with these myths if I choose to work with him? How do I feel okay with a God that did horrible things in his stories, a god that is depicted as someone i wouldn't like? Is it fair to separate him from his myths? I've struggled with this issue since I was a child. I would hear scary stories about every God and religion I knew of and think "how could I respect someone like that? That's terrifying." I can't seem to wrap my head around it. It's strangely isolating seeing people love their Gods and I'm too scared to even interact with any. I feel like I'm missing something.

Well yes, you are missing something, but that isn't your fault!! This is something almost everyone who works with deities has struggled with. The stories involving Lugh and The Morrigan aren't all sunshine and daisies and there was quite a bit of culture shock when I started working with them BUT I got to know them and not the stories told many many years ago.

So, here's the thing with Apollo: a lot of his myths were written during a time when that stuff wasn't considered "bad". They were even considered normal. But as times change so do morals. If we were still making myths today then they would without a doubt represent the morals of our time rather than the morals of the past.

Some myths were even written as political propaganda, though I haven't looked into Apollo's myths enough to say whether any of his were or not.

It is fair to separate the gods from their myths, especially since the myths get twisted and end up vastly different from the originals over time. Pay attention to those who are working with Apollo nowadays, what are they saying? How are they interacting with him? Do these interactions sound like the stuff you hear in the myths? Probably not.

Think of myths as stories, because they are, stories that get skewed over time, stories that reflect the era in which they're created.

I hope this helps <3

#ask #deity work #File: Apollo

[is-the-primate-vid-cute]

i don't believe one should apply human morals to nature, not even fellow primates. we're just one species on earth who developed morality to survive and our perspective and way of life is vastly different from all other animals on earth. monkeys act in ways appropriate for their survival, so I'm not horrified when I hear stories about chimp violence, I feel awe and wonder the same way one would feel when they hear about a graceful panther on the hunt. It's an animal, it is capable of being adorable and full of love and also violence, just like humans. No different from cats, who have rendered entire species extinct and yet we love them anyway.

Interestingly, I have also seen chimp/other primate violence glorified using human morality! I’ve seen many posts online along the lines of “If a monkey hoarded resources/harmed their fellow monkey/acted against the majority the other monkeys would fight it”, or framing some of the chimp violence that has been widely publicized as the majority rising up against a tyrant. While there is some truth to that in that primate societies are small enough that they don’t have the same problems as human societies in terms of hegemonic social control (dominance of a group over others on a large scale) but rather smaller scale conflicts, it isn’t really the heroic scenario it might appear to be. 

Yes, if an alpha is disliked by a majority of troupe members a coup is very much on the table. Several chimps will band together to take down the alpha, which can go several ways. For example: 

1. They see the alphas display and allies, and judge that they are unlikely to win the fight. This results in the rival uprising backing down, potentially to try again later.

2. The alpha sees the overwhelming opposition and goes into exile, relinquishing alpha status to the challenger. Sometimes the alpha will return to the troupe either to reintegrate at a lower status or re-challenge for dominance.

3. A battle occurs, which results in bloodshed unless one party backs down and accepts defeat. If opposition against an alpha is well organized, this can result in the alpha being beaten to death. 

Are these conflicts motivated by objections to leadership? Yes. Are they just crusades against tyranny? Nope. These conflicts can happen for many reasons. The alpha could be too greedy with food when it is scarce, the alpha could monopolize the sexually available females, or another chimp might decide that the alpha is a soft enough touch that usurping leadership is an easy win. A good example of this is brothers Freud and Frodo, both of whom were alphas of a troupe of chimps in Gombe at different times. Freud was a more democratic leader, whereas Frodo ruled by brute strength. Freud was overthrown by his brother because Frodo evaluated that he had the strength to do so when Freud became sick with mange, and Freud relinquished power and went into exile for a few years before returning to accept a lower status in the troupe later. Though there is strength in numbers, Frodo went unchallenged until he became too ill to rule with an iron fist. Though Frodo was your typical chimp tyrant, he was not overthrown. 

Basically, if we are applying human standards to other species we are pretty much bound to be wrong. Chimps aren’t bloodthirsty brutes, and they aren’t warriors for justice. They are doing their own thing, and I respect them for it even if I wouldn’t want to be caught in the middle of it.

#mod J #chimps #chimpanzees

[juniperhillpatient]

jet and azula both are manipulators and leaders, one uses fear the other love(?)

jet is all about liberation, azula about control

azula is a colonizer, jet is an anti-colonizer

okay... (for blog organization, in reference to this)

Jet & Azula are both manipulators & leaders. Notice how you used the term 'manipulator' there?

Merriam Webster under 'manipulate' okay - 'to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one's own advantage.'

Look, I love Jet because he's a bit of a flawed asshole - most of my faves are. Jet & Azula both 100% included. I often get bored with characters that are too perfect, fiction is about conflict. Jet is a manipulator & can be cold & calculating, just like Azula, but for different reasons.

It's not a condemnation, it's part of his character. Jet uses his charisma & good looks to trick Katara into being part of a plan she would never have agreed to. Sure, when confronted with someone who doesn't like Jet I'll jump on the "Jet's never done anything wrong in his life actually" train because I love him & want to defend him & I DO think his behavior in the context of the war is sympathetic. But also, in terms of honestly analyzing his character, he's morally gray & far from a saint. Jet has a lot of anger & a tendency to try & solve his problems with violence. This is part of what makes him a compelling character, denying it is boring.

While I DO understand your argument about Azula being a colonizer & part of the nation responsible for Jet's trauma, by that logic Zuko, Mai & Ty Lee also should've never become friends with the gaang. Maybe you feel they shouldn't have, I don't know your full opinion, but if that's the case we're losing a common thread of where to connect because Zuko's redemption arc & eventual befriending of the gaang is pretty core to the narrative of the entire show. Not saying it was 100% perfectly written, but it is a core aspect of the story.

Avatar as a story is big on forgiveness & healing & capacity to change. To an extent, I understand why some fans are frustrated by the sympathy given to characters like the fire siblings. I actually strongly agree that Jet should have been portrayed more sympathetically by the narrative & that he deserves healing & forgiveness too. I just think (& this part is almost definitely about to get me cancelled by some people) that sometimes when the Fire Nation characters are so harshly condemned by a portion of the fandom that even the idea of someone traumatized by the war reconciling with any of them is abhorrent, we're losing the thread of the fantasy world & the narrative of the story. Zuko & Aang learning to work together is a huge part of the story & Aang is the last survivor of a genocide committed by the Fire Nation. Zuko rejects Fire Nation ideology & his father's ways (there are no comics in Ba Sing Se ok) & learns to be a kinder person working toward a new age of peace.

Why shouldn't Azula be given that same chance?

Anyway, Azula & Jet's complicated dynamic is, can't emphasize this enough, part of why I love them. You're exactly correct. Azula is a colonizer & imperialist & Jet is an anti colonizer & a rebel fighter. He has a pessimistic view of the war effort overall & a violent hatred for the Fire Nation. Azula has an unfavorable view of people she considers below her & considers the Fire Nation perfect. In canon, could they ever reconcile? Post-war, I think perhaps if Azula learned to change her ways like her brother did. I tend to write alternate universes but these two would still have vastly differing opinions & it would lead to conflict. In every fic with a focus on their dynamic that I've ever written, they have a rather contentious friendship with a lot of arguments. Because that kind of dynamic is interesting & fun to me.

TLDR: Sure, & this would create conflict but also pretending Jet is morally pure isn't true to his character either & also I just think Azula & Jet have a lot of similarities that would make it interesting to see them interact

#jet #azula #jetzula #my atla post #asks #anon #answered #discussion

[leqclerc]

I am truly worried about Ferrari with regards to next year. I am no Binotto fan and I’m glad that he’s no longer the TP but given that he has resigned from Ferrari altogether, the engine department is really going to take a hit. All I hope is that Charles doesn’t let his love of Ferrari stop him from making decisions that will end up helping him in the long term. He can’t really afford to wait much longer.

Possibly. I mean he was a good engineer and it might impact morale if there's like a loyalty/faction issue. But at the same time, there's probably dozens, if not hundreds, of people working in the engine department. It is a shame that he was Technical Director and seemingly chose not to continue in that, or any other engineering role, because yeah, the TD should ideally tie the whole thing together, but we also don't know how far they've gotten with next year's car. Like, the man himself recently said they "gave up" essentially, on developing the 2022 car "quite early on" to focus on the 2023 spec.

It's supposed to be similar enough to the F1-75 in terms of design philosophy so it shouldn't be a vastly conceptually different car.

Enrico Gualtieri is currently the head of the Power Unit area. He and Wolf Zimmermann worked on "unconventional solutions" with this year's PU. There's like four more engineers mentioned by name here:

But also staff changes happen. Mercedes had a bunch of engineers poached by Red Bull for their homegrown Powertrains project.

As recently as a few months ago there were reports of key figures leaving the team, including Ben Hodgkinson who had worked at Mercedes for 20 (!) years, and last held the position of Head of Mechanical Engineering. He is now Technical Director at Red Bull Powertrains, as per Linkedin. Another poached employee is Phil Prew who was Chief Engineer at Mercedes's engine division. As he was such a senior figure at Mercedes he will likely also have to take a "gardening leave" period (as was mentioned somewhere regarding Binotto) before he can officially start working for RB. And I haven't seen anyone really bringing this up or voicing concerns about how this might impact Mercedes going forward.

#replies #anonymous #idk i'm trying not to get too carried away with it one way or the other. i don't want to dissolve into fear and panic completely #we just have to wait and see what happens and who gets appointed to what role going forward #discussions and predictions