#i love that line so much i changed my blog title finally
Text
Carry Me Home || S. Aho
Author: Sydney / @sydnikov
Pairing: Sebastian Aho/fem!Reader
Word Count: 5.6k
Summary: Sebastian Aho is frustrated with his team’s loss against the New York Islanders. He takes it out on you in a rather primitive way.
Warnings: 18+ smut smut smut, unprotected p in v (wrap it up kiddos!), oral (f receiving), bits of dom!Sepe, breeding kink if you squint, cursing, angst, not much fluff in this one
A/N: Surprise! My first smut fic. I hate myself. I blame the Hurricanes playing like shit for making me write this. As usual, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!! I certainly didn’t (kidding) P.S. Title is from “All The Small Things” by Blink 182
*Minors, you are responsible for your own media consumption. That being said, I will not block you for interacting with this fic or my blog, but always be aware of the content you choose to consume and the consequences it can have.
Sebastian Aho feels fire in his veins. His skin is flushed, hot to the touch, with his hair smoking from sweat-soaked strands boiling into steam. He is a steadily growing inferno, biding his time before unleashing his wrath.
There was no other time in his life he could think of where he had ever felt so frustrated, so angry.
Painful grunts and the sounds of sticks hitting the ice so hard they break echo in his ears, just as the sound of the puck hitting the goal post every time he shot it did, too. In the back of his mind, Sebastian knows that winning takes more than just one player, but yet all he can think is my fault my fault my fault.
He is an alternate captain, after all. It’s his job to help lead his team, to get them the wins they deserve. So ever since the start of this season, why had he been failing to do so?
Sebastian couldn’t dominate the Islanders on his own no matter how much he wanted to… But there is one person he knows he can.
As the Fin aggressively unties his skates, he imagines the strands of your hair tangled in his fingers as the laces get stuck on his glove. As he rips off his undershirt, he imagines doing the same to your bra.
When the reporters ask the same question they do after every game, “What could you have done better?” and pretend not to flinch when he shoots them a glare, he imagines your wide-eyed gaze as he tells you, c’mon, you can take it, yeah?
He kind of wishes he could say the same thing to these fucking reporters as he imagines giving one or two or preferably all of them a black eye—in a different scenario, of course.
Oh, but you are so good to him. He doesn’t deserve you. There is absolutely nothing in this world that can take you away from him, not now and not ever.
The winger speaks to no one except for the coaching staff as he eventually storms out of the locker room, exchanging a few words about practice and something about more line changes before he is finally let go.
Sebastian doesn’t want to think about hockey anymore. He wants to think about you.
Meanwhile, you were planted outside said locker room with a few of the wives and girlfriends, leaning against the wall while you all tried to talk about anything other than the disaster of a game you’d just watched.
It was hard watching the person you love get so upset and disappointed, especially when knowing how much pressure he puts on himself to be a leader of his team. There were many nights laying in bed, his head resting on your chest, that he revealed the bits and pieces of his carefully shielded heart how responsible he feels for his team’s performance.
How every loss chips away at his self-respect, leaving him feeling broken and lost as he struggles to find a way to get his team back on top. He was only one man, yet felt the weight of a thousand suns bearing down on his shoulders, relying on him to score.
And score he tries. Everything he could do he does; he racks up the points, he makes assists, but all his efforts still couldn’t bring them out on top.
You know Sebastian feels worthless, and you aren’t sure how he’s going to express it as you spot him marching up to you.
“Hey,” is your first word to him, spoken softly and carefully before he pulls you into his chest. The first thing you notice is that he feels like a human furnace; the chill you’d become used to after sitting next to an ice rink for over two hours is immediately replaced with warmth, and you can’t help but bury your head into his chest at the feel of it. “I’m sorry, Sepe.”
The pressure he so often feels immediately dissipates at the sound of your voice. Sebastian releases a strained sigh and curls over your body in a protective embrace, his mind racing with millions of words at a million miles per hour but the only ones he can hear are mine mine mine as you look up at him with unbridled affection.
“Kulta,” My honey, he murmurs, wet strands of hair falling over his eyes as he looks down at you. “You’re still here,” he can’t help but say, almost as if he were expecting you to be gone because he didn’t win.
You soften even more if that were possible. “I would never leave you,” you say with conviction, your words meant to be taken innocently yet all Sebastian could think of is the image of you under him as he thrusts into you, making you say the same words over and over again.
“What was that?”
“I can’t—”
“Yes, you can. C’mon, pretty girl, say it for me again,”
His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. He needs to get you home, immediately.
Lacing his fingers through yours, the Finn presses a heated kiss to your lips, groaning so deep in his chest it has your face flushing a beautiful shade of red which has him thinking truly awful things before the two of you leave the arena.
Sebastian wants nothing more than to take care of you, and thinks briefly that maybe this is a developing unhealthy coping mechanism in the works, but as he opens the car door for you and locks eyes on the way your lips flash him a sweet smile, he can’t find it in himself to care.
You’re just so innocent; it’s in your nature to see the good in everything, to see the good in him despite his less-than holy thoughts. While he doesn’t consider his sex life with you vanilla by any means, he almost feels guilty for all the degrading ways he was thinking of you.
Sebastian was not on top of his game tonight, but he was determined, now, to be on top of you.
Your mind, however, is running rampant in all of the ways you think this night could go, and with Sebastian’s large hand splayed across your thigh as he drives the two of you home, you’re fairly positive in your understanding of what your role is going to be.
It’s funny because you’ve been with him for several years now and he still never fails to get your heart racing. Everything about him has you feeling a certain type of way, especially now as you catch shy peeks of his side profile; clenched jaw, ruffled hair, and blazing eyes…
You can’t help but rub your thighs together, a pleasurable tingle starting low in your belly and spreading warmth throughout the rest of your body as Sebastian gives you a look that spells trouble.
He adjusts the hold he has on your thigh, gripping the flesh just a little bit tighter. “Gonna get you home soon, don’t worry,” he says, almost to himself. It has your eyes widening and your heart beating faster because the tone of his voice is almost feral.
Sebastian is not what you would consider rough in bed. He has his moments, where he uses his strength to flip you over or manhandle you into whatever position he wants, but he’s never been the type to fuck you against a wall or anything of the sorts.
And as dominating as he could sometimes be, his softer side more than made up for it. Sweet but deep kisses to your lips, teeth lovingly nipping marks onto the sides of your breasts, hands roaming all over your body with gentle squeezes and caresses, and a body that seldom ran out of stamina making sure your pleasure always comes before his.
His mouth, however… Sebastian’s mouth is the word ‘dirty’ personified. Sinful lips creating words you’d never want your mother to hear, and a tongue that knew every weak spot on your body to leave you shivering in its wake.
In fact, you couldn’t help but remember the last time his mouth was put to use. Twas the night before, actually, where his body was restless and his solution to getting his energy out was sliding down the length of your body with whispered praises, slipping your panties to the side with his pointer finger, and attaching his lips first thing to your clit—
The sound of your name from the very voice of the man you were just fantasizing about interrupts your thoughts. You quickly turn to find that Sebastian already powered off and exited the vehicle and is holding your door open for you, looking at you with slight concern.
He says your name again when you fail to respond, suddenly starstruck.
Sebastian is just and his arms are so and his lips so full and kissable and him—
The next thing you know, the Finn has wrapped his large hands around your waist and is yanking you out of the car, mouth swooping down to meet your eager lips.
He kisses the life out of you, simultaneously slamming the car door shut so he can press you hard against it. The thought that you have any semblance of control right now slips through your rattled brain not unlike the slickness you can feel dripping down your legs.
He was the epitome of domineering, in no mood to let you think you had any say in what he is going to do to you. Tonight is about him needing a release, and the only way he is going to get it is through you.
Or, rather, by him burying himself so deep inside you you wouldn’t be able to walk for days. The thought has his cock throbbing, unable to resist pressing his hips into the heat between your thighs.
The feeling of his dick against your most sensitive spot has you releasing a breathless whine, and then your kisses become harder against his lips, more desperate.
Sebastian bites at your bottom lip, his own rising into a smirk once he feels rather than hears the resulting gasp catch in your throat. He lets one of his hands rise from the grip he has on your ass to slide carefully around your neck, firmly grasping the front of your throat to bring you closer.
The action has you flat-out whimpering, your hands sinking into the winger’s hair, tugging at the strands so hard he hisses. Now, the Finn is no submissive by any means, but never have you seen him so, so… Dominant.
You decide right then and there that you rather like this side of him.
“Sepe,” you try to speak, but the words catch in your throat again as his kisses move from your lips, past his hand still gripping your throat, and down to the sensitive skin of your collarbone. “—I can’t,”
He hums, your pleas merely background noise as he sucks red marks into your skin. “Can’t what? Gonna have to be more specific, nappula,”
Button. Oh, you are so fucked. Literally. His button. He called you his button. His his his.
Unable to take his slow teasing, you tear him away from your neck to bring him back to your eager lips, a desperate sound crawling up your throat as his hands move to bury themselves in your hair.
“Take me to bed, please,”
Sebastian practically melts at your words. Knowing your desperation, he moves his hands back from your hair down to your thighs, tapping once and then twice where you finally got the memo to jump. He curls your legs over his hips, sliding one hand under your ass with the other pressing supportively against the small of your back.
The five-second walk to the front door has the hand previously holding your back trembling as he fumbles with his keys. Finally opening the door after forcing himself to focus, despite the feeling of your mouth leaving teasing nips and kisses, Sebastian mutters a long string of curses as he hurriedly steps into the house, swiftly kicking the door shut behind him.
“Such a fucking tease,” he rasps into your ear, his free hand grasping onto the back of your neck to bring you back to his lips. He kisses you sensually, reveling in the softness of your body molding perfectly against his. “Bet you’ve been waiting for me all night.”
You nod rapidly in agreement, hands trying to find purchase on the smooth lines of his suit so you could begin tearing it off of him. “I’m always wanting you, Sepe,”
Sebastian hisses another curse, and the next thing you know your back is landing softly on the large mattress that is his bed. He gives you no time to gather your thoughts before he’s climbing on top of you. His calloused hands slip under your shirt to remove it, granting him full access to knead at your tits.
The forward kisses you again, tongue tracing lines across your bottom lip before forcefully pushing his way in. You can feel him everywhere and nowhere all at once, a strangled sound escaping your throat as his hips start grinding into the throbbing heat between your legs.
“Seb,” you try, back arching as his hands skillfully move to unclasp your bra. “Oh fuck, Seb, please,”
The sound of your cries has Sebastian grinning wolfishly, your desperation filling him with a sick sense of pride. “Please what?”
Suddenly, you understand his teammates just a little bit more when they would call him a little shit and other various, foul nicknames in front of you.
Clumsily grabbing one of his hands from where it was still massaging your tit, your legs fall open as you press his palm directly over the material of your pants, almost positive they were wet. “Please just touch me, please—”
Your babbling is interrupted when he begins peppering your face with soothing kisses, apologetically rubbing his thumb over your nipple while the other makes its way under your pants and down to your slit, thoroughly soaked with your arousal.
“This all for me?” he coos as two fingers run through your lips, taking the natural lubricant to rub tight circles over your clit. “You’re soaked, kisu.”
The resulting mewl that escapes you afterwards lives up to the name he just called you. Kitty.
Sebastian watches your reactions with hooded eyes, taking note of the way your breath hitches when he rubs your clit a certain way; he knows the ins and outs of your body by now, but every time you have sex there is still something new to learn, and there is nothing Sebastian is if not eager to learn. He’s particularly fond of the way you arch into him as he sinks two fingers inside you, grinning as you cry out while the calloused pads of his fingertips curl against the spongy wall of nerves nestled near the front of your walls.
With panting breaths and strangled moans, your thighs shake as his thumb finds its way back to your clit and rubs it in circles the same way his fingers are doing inside you. Your stomach feels as if it’s in knots, hands gripping the sheets beneath you so hard they’ve gone numb, and your mind is blissfully blank except for the repetitive thought of more more more.
You echo this sentiment to him, to which he merely picks up the pace in response. It’s almost too much but a good too much, like the peak of your pleasure is just climbing higher and higher, almost impossible to reach but you can feel it right there—
Suddenly, all pleasurable movements stop. You snap your head up, aghast, cheeks flushed with arousal and now irritation because were were so fucking close and now all you’re left with is a disappointed burn between your legs. “Sebastian, what the actual fuck,”
The very man himself licks his lips, looking all too pleased with the way you’re relying on him to help you finish. “Patience,” is all he says, flashing you a shiny smile before skilled hands are sliding the rest of your pants and underwear down your legs. Instinctively your legs try to close at the feel of cold air hitting your pussy, but Sebastian is having none of it as he swiftly pries your thighs back apart.
“Shy?” He teases, stroking your inner thigh before pulling his shirt off his head. You have a reply prepared, but quickly lose your train of thought as his torso is revealed; Sebastian is all hard planes of muscle, golden skin with a light dusting of body hair, and so distinctly male he has you practically drooling as you reach out to trail your hands down his chest.
“You’re beautiful,” you breathe, wrapping your arms around his waist to bring his body down on top of yours. You want, no, need him close to you. While your veins were still full of liquid fire, your nerves so hot that every brush of his skin against yours left you quaking, there is still a certain amount of intimacy that could always be found within your actions towards each other.
A certain intimacy that leads to whispered praises like these; Sebastian flushes, momentarily forgetting the role he vowed to take after the agony that had been wreaking havoc in his mind since his team’s loss. “Kulta,” he says, breath hitching as he presses his lips to your neck to taste the light sheen of sweat covering your skin. He kisses your body like you are his shrine, sworn to you in utter devotion. “Kaunis tyttöni.”
My beautiful girl. Every word from that point onward tumbles past his lips in Finnish, because in what other way can he describe the beauty you encapsulate? You are an angel, after all, his angel, in fact, and his only. With his hands settling on the curves of your waist to further cement his point, he continues his assault on your neck with teeth and tongue all while he grinds his covered dick against your bare pussy.
“Sebastian?”
“Yeah?”
“Fuck me, please,”
And just like that, the indescribable need to claim claim claim takes over his body once more. His eyes darken, the lust swallowing his senses moving him to quickly strip the slacks he wore off his legs, and then he reaches into his boxers to pull out his dick.
You could never get over the sight of his cock, you think momentarily as you stare, mesmerized by the flushed head and leaking tip. He took on more girth than length, and to you it’s nothing less than perfect because Sebastian is the only man who has ever gotten you to the point where you’re unable to walk the next day.
Maybe that speaks more of his knowledge of the female anatomy compared to your exes, but nonetheless you’re grateful.
You bite your lip, one of your hands falling from his back to reach down and take his erection in your hand. Sebastian hisses through his teeth at the feeling of you gripping him, and watches for a moment as you stroke him almost gently.
“I’m going to need you to stop that,” he speaks, a groan following right after before he quickly swats your hand away.
You frown, a slight pout on your lips. “Why?”
“Because I’m going to come in two minutes like a teenager if you keep it up, kisu.”
“Well when you say it like that—”
You’re interrupted by Sebastian slamming your lips back together, your words gone just as quickly as they’d come. Oh, how you could kiss him for ages and never be sick of it. You say this to him, or at least attempt to, before his hand not buried in your hair finds its way back down to your clit and rubs rather roughly.
“Want to taste you,” he mumbles, drunk on the sight of you under him as he lines up his dick with your entrance. “Want to taste you so bad. But I need to be inside you first,”
You try to respond, but then Sebastian is kissing you again right as the head of his cock pushes its way into your cunt. It burns, but a good burn because you would never be used to his size and the feel of him sliding deeper sets all your nerve endings on fire. You’re forced to adjust quickly, and something about him not caring if you’re ready or not has you dripping.
“Oh fuck,” you whine, restless hands weaving through his hair and all over his back, refusing to settle. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, too consumed with how good it felt being stretched to lie still beneath him. “Feels so good, Seb,”
“Yeah?” he huffs into your ear, hot breaths against your skin sending shivers down your spine. “God, you’re perfect,” Sebastian groans, his hips suddenly snapping forward. The angle has him hitting the sweet spot inside you perfectly, your walls clamping down tight around him which sends you both spiraling.
You cry out as he begins moving, the strength behind the force of his thrusts staggering because very rarely did he lose control with you. Sebastian tends to treat you like priceless jewelry, but you’re anything but tonight as his teeth sink into your neck to muffle his moans.
His pubic bone rubs against your clit deliciously every time his hips come down, and you couldn’t help but try and tilt your own upwards to match him. Sebastian clearly appreciates your efforts, hissing something that sounds distinctively like a curse.
Past the ringing in your ears, you can hear him muttering to himself. His eyes are squeezed shut against the rolling tides of pleasure coursing through his body, but his mouth is anything but closed. Then his head is lifting suddenly, hair now slick with sweat hanging over his eyes as he looks down at you.
“I need you to come around me,” he says, voice nothing more than a rasp. “Want to feel you squeezing me.”
“Please,” you interrupt, but he either doesn’t hear your plea or chooses to ignore you.
“Then I’m going to taste you, and when you come I’m going to fuck you again.”
Your head is nodding rapidly at his words because there is zero part of you that ever wants him to stop. It was almost primitive the way he was taking you, and you maybe liked it a little more than you should.
Sebastian picks up the pace, and you find yourself thankful - not for the first time - for his insane amount of stamina. The strength conditioning he goes through on a daily basis makes you wonder how he doesn’t just die, but nonetheless you can’t help but appreciate it.
His hands find their way under your back in the midst of your appreciative thoughts, settled on your lower back just above your ass, when he tilts your hips up and his cock strikes the sensitive, spongy spot inside you head-on. It has you keening loudly, uncontrollably—one of your hands previously gripping the sheets jerkily moves to cover your mouth, your own noises embarrassing you.
He doesn’t notice at first, too busy moving his hips in the same pattern as before because he enjoys the way you grip him like a vice, your body’s way of telling him he’s doing a good job, but when he sees you trying to muffle your noises he instantly grows possessive.
Possessive of you, your noises, because in his feral mind everything about you belongs to him and Sebastian doesn’t want you ever holding yourself back. Your name falls from his lips darkly, “You don’t hide yourself from me,” one of his hands drags yours from your mouth, the other splaying across your lower back to keep your body in the same position.
You try to apologize, but your breath escapes you when his hand slides itself down your body, brushing past one of your nipples, then dipping into your navel where his fingers once again find your swollen clit. He rubs quickly, dick ramming into you even faster than before.
Now more than ever Sebastian wants you to come undone beneath him, and soon he gets his wish as the calloused pads of his fingertips roll your clit in time with one, two, and then on the third thrust your entire body seizes.
Tensing, clenching, shuddering—your eyes flutter as your vision goes white, and you feel nothing except for wave after wave of overwhelming pleasure rushing through you. Vaguely, you feel what you think is Sebastian gently continuing his ministrations on your clit in time with slow thrusts, helping you ride out the waves of your orgasm.
Then your eyes are opening after what feels like hours but had really only been minutes of you going still. You tense again, this time with sensitivity rather than pleasure, and he reads your body perfectly as he slides out of you, removing his fingers from your clit at the same time.
You come to a realization then, “Wait, you didn’t come,” you murmur, and Sebastian has a mischievous sparkle in his eye that makes you think he held himself back on purpose. You’re proven right when he suddenly slides down your body, hands prying your thighs apart before settling on your hips, holding you open like his very own buffet.
He lets out a long sound, like he still can’t believe you’re right here in front of him, and then his mouth is meeting the slick folds of your pussy. The timespan between your first orgasm and him now feasting on you has your mind reeling, blissfully going numb as his warm, wet tongue licks into you.
“Sepe,” you whine, having not yet decided if you could handle another orgasm so close to your last. He parrots your name back, the vibrations from his voice rumbling pleasantly. “You can take it,” he coos, hooded eyes watching your face as his lips now fully latch onto your clit. He sucks, steadily picking up the intensity until your thighs are shaking uncontrollably.
He doesn’t stop, not as your cries grow louder and you subconsciously try squirming away from him. He just holds your hips down, anyways. As his tongue joins the mix, dipping down to flick at your nub suctioned in between his lips, one of his hands moves down to dip two fingers into your folds.
Sebastian groans at your wet heat enveloping his digits, already greedy for the feeling of you squeezing his dick again. Then he starts thrusting his finger, timing it with the flicks of his tongue, and then you’re coming all over again. “There you go, such a good girl for me,” he praises as your pussy spasms, eagerly lapping up your juices like you’re his favorite meal.
Oh god. You are officially fucked-out. You definitely have a bad case of sex-for-brains. You can’t think beyond the sensitivity of your overwhelmed nether regions, and yet as Sebastian crawls up your body for the third time you can’t help but have your legs fall open to welcome him.
This is new for him, too. Sebastian’s endurance is extraordinary, yes, but he never really let himself use it to his full extent with you. Now, though? He wants to explore the thrill of dominance, of controlling you when everything else in his life slips through his fingers.
Against his will, he thinks of his team for a moment. It’s still too raw of a feeling, he finds, hating the way disappointment and frustration bubbles up inside him. Sebastian swallows roughly, squeezes his eyes shut as if that would help block out the sound of the final buzzer ringing in his ears, and then kisses you to distract himself.
As he lines himself back up with your entrance, you both find that the energized tension between you has cooled significantly. Sebastian is less restless and jerky with his movements, and your desperation has cooled as your legs wrap around his waist. He whimpers into your neck, then, his arms curling under your back to press your bodies even closer together.
Your roles switch, and you whisper sweet and dirty nothings into Sebastian’s ear as his hips roll into you. The head of his cock scratches that delicious part inside of you, and soon your words turn into gasps which are music to his ears. One thrust has you squeezing him particularly hard, and his rhythm stutters. “Fuck, you feel amazing,”
His lips form into an o-shape, and suddenly he finds that his high is coming (hah) much quicker than expected. He expresses such, or thinks he does, because all you do is moan in response when his thrusts pick up speed.
He wants to send you into your third orgasm before letting go himself, and even though Sebastian has been rather selfish tonight, one thing that would never change is that your pleasure would always come before his—no matter what.
“Gonna come for me?” Sebastian teases, lips managing to curl into a brief smirk before you’re squeezing him again, wiping it right off his face. “Yeah? Look so pretty taking my cock, baby,”
“I’m close,”
“I know. Let go for me.”
And let go you do. You seize up, not for the first time tonight, before shuddering with full force in the wake of your third release. Your vision goes white in time with the ringing of your ears as you’re consumed in it, feeling too much but also not enough at the same time because your boyfriend is a force you could never get sick of.
Your walls are squeezing Sebastian like a vice, and it only takes him a few more thrusts as you ride out your orgasm before he’s falling into his own. He groans from deep in his chest, arms shakily moving to rest on either side of your head as he buries his own in your neck.
He sinks his teeth into your shoulder as his dick pulses inside you, pumping you full of his cum while you shudder beneath him. It fills Sebastian with a primal sense of satisfaction, knowing he’s claimed you from the inside out.
You’re his, still repeats itself in his mind on repeat, until both of your bodies are spent and he’s rolling off of you exhaustedly. You’re still panting when he turns to look at you, and without hesitation he pulls you into his chest so you can rest your tired body against his.
It takes you a few minutes until you can muster the energy to move, and when you do it’s to tilt your head up to look up at him. You murmur his name, quietly, lest you disturb the fragile peace the two of you find yourselves in. “Sepe?”
“Mhmm?”
“Do you feel better?” It’s a loaded question, you both know, and he takes a few minutes to think about it.
Sebastian’s body feels better, yes. It’s limp, relaxed, the achy tension long-gone from his muscles. The moment he first sank into you he felt immensely better, actually, now that he thinks about it.
His mind, however, is a completely different story.
Colors of red, orange, and blue flash behind his eyes; the colors of his jersey and the opposing team’s, with the haunting sound of the final buzzer still playing in his memory. He thinks of the anger, of his teammates’ faces as they marched defeatedly into the locker room.
No, he thinks with sudden clarity. No, he doesn’t feel better. Sebastian doesn’t say this though; it probably isn’t the answer you want to hear, considering how you explored a new aspect of your relationship tonight.
You know, though. You always know—Sebastian is your better half, and you can understand him more than your own self sometimes, now being one of those moments.
“I love you,” you say after several minutes of silence. Your declaration - the first of the night, he suddenly realizes - says everything he needs to know, about how you feel for him and that he has your support no matter what.
Sebastian swallows, finding that his throat is parched. Lying naked under the sheets, vulnerable and oh-so-exposed, he lowers his head to kiss you sweetly. You mold together softly, and a low rumble can be felt from his chest as you gently nip at his bottom lip.
He is a man of few words, preferring to show his feelings with actions rather than words and this just happened to be one of those moments. He loves you so much, more than words can describe, his lips say, before they gently part from yours.
You admire him in his full glory before he opens his mouth to speak. His hair is incredibly ruffled, from both your hands and the game he played, his full lips swollen red from your kisses, and his eyes have a light sheen to him that suggest he’s more emotional than letting on.
Sebastian raises a hand to your cheek, large yet gentle palm caressing the soft skin as he gazes at you like you’re precious porcelain. “I love you,”
Your lips break into a small smile, and then you’re curling farther into his chest. You’re far too comfortable to move, figuring aftercare in the bathtub can come later. For now, you’re content; your body is sated, and with his cum dripping down your legs you’ve never felt so full with love.
Sebastian knows he has hell to face tomorrow morning. He knows it, but doesn’t really care. For now, in the peaceful silence of his room with only the gentle sounds of your breaths to keep him company, he chooses to forget.
He’s only one man, after all. He can’t carry his team, but he can carry you.
A/N: This is the first time I've written in present tense, which was actually a lot harder than I thought because I kept using past tense action verbs 💀 it was a fun challenge though!! Hopefully my parents never ask me what exactly it is that I write about because. Uh. Yeah. Once again, please reblog and comment :))
────────────────────────────────
Taglist: @ballsakic @bbbbruins @kapriz0v @girlmeetsamerics @bbnhlqueen7 @iwantahockeyhimbo @sebbyaho @heatherawoowoo @matsbarzal @nillspettersson @teuvomakesmesmile @typical-simplelove @grittysbattinggloves @stars-canucks @nachodaze @besthockeyfics @sidcrosbyspuck @ilyasorokinn @ssebastianaho @sepeteuvo @drei-mrssvechii @tanninetanya @insomniren @hyppeln-agnes @canesqueen @the-jarvy-party @martynecass @yagetintoit @2manytabsopen @huggy-hischier4394 @diary-of-kk @estapa94 @spacesurfing @ellswilliams @pbandj14 @cixrosie @poufsouffle21
Add yourself to my 18- (SFW) Taglist here!
Add yourself to my 18+ (NSFW) Taglist here!
#sebastian aho#sebastian aho imagine#sebastian aho fic#sebastian aho imagines#sebastian aho fanfiction#sebastian aho x reader#carolina hurricanes#carolina hurricanes imagine#carolina hurricanes imagines#canes#canes imagine#canes lb#nhl hockey#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#nhl imagine#nhl imagines#nhl writing#writing#fanfiction#nhl smut#sebastian aho smut#'carry me home'
288 notes
·
View notes
Text
Obey Me! The Comic
I wanted to write a bit about my experiences and working on the Obey Me! Manga!!! It’d be fun to dive into the process and challenges and just overall experience.
Read more under the cut!
Sooooo I first found out about seven seas licensing it when they announced it on their Twitter. I emailed my project manager and told her that I worked on the game some years ago! (I was translating events and phone messages and updates through an agency. I don’t remember exactly which events I got to do now, but I think I translated the bunny costume cards and event… one of the mammon birthday events… a Christmas one… and many many others!! Getting the OM job was how I was introduced to them!)
So, I was put on the project. I still remembered a lot of rules and regulations about the boys and their speech style and personalities, AND I was still playing Nightbringer at the time, so it wasn’t hard for me to pick this up. (Thank goodness I also kept all of my notes!)
This manga was a lot different from the previous manga work I’ve done…mainly because it’s based on a game and used a lot of text from the game.
There are two routes we can take when we work on works that have previously translated and published content. We can either retranslate everything from scratch, or…we dive into the translated content and try to stick as closely to it as possible.
I always prefer option 2, because in the eyes or the reader/fans, that’s what they’re most familiar with. There are legal issues with that sometimes, so not everyone is given that luxury… but luckily I was able to for this book.
I cracked open my Obey Me! game and diligently went through the first few lessons
I don’t think I’m allowed to show my script, but every time the book used lines from the game, I’d copy it from the game and highlight it, making a comment to the editor about exactly which lesson it’s from so that the editor will know that these are direct lines from the game.
The whole reason I bothered doing this (and it takes way more time pulling lines than translating the text myself btw) is because I thought, as a fan, seeing the familiar text would feel more welcoming. If I was a reader, I’d feel so happy and I might even start comparing the game and the book just to see the same text… because this is the Obey Me world, made for the fans and for the people. If the Japanese audience got to experience the same text as it’s pulled from the game, then the English audience should too…at least, that’s how I felt!
A bit about the translation process… once the script is handed in, I have little to no idea about how much of that script ends up in the final product. So for this title, I had SO MANY NOTES to the editor to tell them about things that can’t be changed (example- The Great Mammon is mammon’s way of addressing himself. Don’t change that!! And there’s mammon’s iconic yell- d’aaaah!). I took a quick flip through volume 1 and I’m really glad the editors kept what needed to be kept and did an absolutely fantastic job with this title! 💕💕💕
I’ve been wanting to write something about OM for a while, but it took a really long time for the company to send me copy of the book 😅
But this is actually because they had very limited copies left… I guess it sold really well?!?! I never had a book with this issue before…
So to end this blog post off, I want to thank all of you for purchasing the book and supporting OM!! Thank you so much for loving this world…and I’m always so honored to be able to bring some of that to the western world.
Keep loving the boys ❤️ and please look forward to the next few volumes!!
Ending this iconically with Mammon’s sexy ass 💕
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
Am I Ready (To Be Loved) | Nathan MacKinnon
Summary: Nate is not known to be impulsive, especially when it comes to love. So what happens when he gets a crazy idea while hungover the day after the Avalanche Stanley Cup parade.
a/n: Happy Holidays folks! My first fic back (on this new blog) is a reworking of a fic I wrote for my Winter Prompt request last year (for @fallinallincurls). Thought I needed to start somewhere. This is obviously set in 2022 because I can't stand the idea of the avs squad being different. It also features some of our fave tropes.
Pairing: Nathan McKinnon x Female!OC
Words: 8K
Warnings: alcohol
Requests: Open | Masterlist
Charlotte hated these fancy functions. The schmoozing and the small talk were things that made her feel like she was going to crawl out of her skin. No matter how much she would normally enjoy conversation, this just felt fake. And she knew how ridiculous it was. She worked in media. She was always in front of cameras. She took this job knowing this was a requirement. It doesn’t change the truth that, at her core, she would rather be on the couch watching some TV show on Netflix.
Although this wasn’t the first formal event she’d ever been to, this was the first Colorado Avalanche donors’ function. It didn’t help that she had only been working as a correspondent for Altitude TV for a few months; so many knew her name and her face, but no one really knew her personally. So, it was just smile, small talk, comment on the Avs, rinse and repeat.
After an hour or so of this, she was feeling done. Heading to the bar for a drink and found a cocktail table in the corner of the room, tucked near the obscenely large Christmas Tree, where she could just stand and watch. Charlotte looked around the room and wondered how long she had to stay before it was not inappropriate to leave.
“Hate these parties too, eh?” a familiar voice rang beside her.
Despite her shattered solitude, the voice brought out a smile on her face. “What do you mean? I don’t hate this?” she replied, not putting in much effort to hide the sarcasm in her voice. She turned to face the voice and the sight almost startled her a little as she felt her face warm. There stood Nathan Mackinnon in his perfectly tailored navy suit, eyes shining in the dim lighting. She takes a drink quickly to distract herself, reminding herself to be a professional.
“Sure,” he chuckled, “hiding in a dark corner isn’t avoiding the party, Charlotte.”
She shrugs as she turns her eyes back to the party.
“Don’t worry,” he whispers in her ear, making her neck tingle a little, “I really don’t like these parties either. I would rather be at home on the couch with my dog watching TV.”
As he leaned back to sip his drink, she turned to him in surprise. “Oh yeah? Like what? More hockey tape?”
After a bit of light banter, they find that they have the same favorite show, much to Charlotte’s surprise. In the dim corner of a fancy event, they are quoting their favorite lines to each other, trying their hardest not to burst out laughing, hiding themselves behind their drinks so as to not draw too much attention at such a fancy event. Charlotte’s laughing so hard she snorts a little, causing Nate to look at her in surprise before continuing to laugh even harder, drawing some looks from the donors and teammates closest to them. After a while, when they both finally calm down, she feels herself relax a little.
They stood in a comfortable silence for a few more moments before Nate spoke up again. “You know, Charlotte. You ask me questions all the time, but I don’t think I really know anything about you other than your name and your job title.”
“I mean, I only really ever ask you questions about the game or the team,” she responds.
“Yeah, but I’m sure you already know everything there is to know about me,” he said pointedly, but softly. He had a point; it was her job to know as much about the players as possible.
“Okay, I know about NHL Hockey Player, Avs’ Center, Forward Extraordinaire Nathan “Nate the Dogg” Mackinnon,” she says, flashing her hands in front as if to signal an imaginary banner, “I don’t know Nate “a dude who sits on his couch with his dog watching dumb shows” Mackinnon.”
“Alright, that’s fair,” he responds deep in thought. “Fine, how about we play 20 questions? You ask me a question; I ask you a question.”
“How very high school, Nathan,” she pauses to think about it. She wasn’t really sure how to feel about this new friendship. On the one hand, it is her job to get to know the players. Although, she was pretty sure that the fraternizing was only supposed to be in professional contexts. On the other hand, her heart was beating so hard that she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. And at the end of the day, it was Nathan Mackinnon, and he wanted to get to know her. Besides, she knew that he didn’t really date anyway, so she felt safe that there was one of them keeping their feelings in check. Eventually, she responds with a nod, “Sure.”
“Okay!” He said excitedly, his blue eyes lighting up, “Where are you from? Where did you grow up and go to college and stuff?”
“Nathan, that’s two questions. Should I deduct points from you?”
“There are points now?”
“I’m just kidding.”
And so, they went back and forth getting to know each other, talking animatedly, and laughing heartily, until they got through the 20 questions each. At one point, they had migrated to a table to continue sitting down because Nate noticed she was shifting on her feet from the heels. Charlotte was pretty certain that Nate now knew her better than anyone else in Denver.
Eventually, EJ came over and tapped Nate on the shoulder at which point she looked up and realized that most of his teammates and donors had left and they were a few of the last people remaining in the event space.
“Hey,” EJ smiled at you in his signature toothless way, “good to see you’re having fun, Charlotte.”
“Thanks, EJ,” she smiled back.
“Mac Daddy, you’re kind of my ride home, so… are you ready to leave?” EJ said laughing and looked at Charlotte, “I don’t think I’ve ever had to pull Nathan here away from a party before. He is usually begging me to leave.”
Nate bumped his elbow into EJ, not drawing much of a response, as he quickly looked away from her. She could have sworn his cheeks were turning a little pink, but that could also be the lighting.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s late and I want to be up for morning skate tomorrow, unlike you lazy idiots,” Nathan grumbled standing up.
She stood up too, only now realizing how tired you were. “Yeah, damn, it’s late. Well, I had a great time talking to you Nathan,” sending him a warm smile and a nod, “EJ. See you two later.”
As she started walking away, she heard some whispers behind her before Nate called out, “Hey, Charlotte, you good to get home? I mean, do you need a ride?”
“Oh, um… Actually… Sure. That would be nice. Thanks!”
She saw EJ whisper something in Nate’s ear before he was quickly shoved away. Suddenly feeling awkward, she trailed behind them quietly to Nate’s car. As soon as it was in sight, EJ called shotgun and started making a run for it, slipping a little on the ice, making Charlotte and Nate snort with laughter.
Nate offered a hand to guide her across the slippery ground and opened the car door for her, keeping his hand on her as she climbed in. She directed Nate to her apartment, thanking him and EJ quickly as she left. Once she got into her apartment, Charlotte leaned against the door and just smiled for a bit.
* * *
Meanwhile, in the car, EJ was basically yelling at Nate.
“Dude, you dog, what was that?”
“EJ, stop.”
“No, I’m serious. I’ve never seen you talk to someone for that long. Not even Barrie or Sid.”
“She was easy to talk to. And it was a good way to get through the event.”
“Nate, don’t give me that bullshit.” EJ’s voice is rarely serious, but it is now.
“I don’t know what to tell you, dude.” Nate shrugged.
The rest of the ride to EJ’s house is quiet and as Nate pulled into the driveway, EJ finally spoke up again, “Tell me you at least got her number.”
“Shit,” Nate let out under his breath before he could stop himself.
“Oh my god, you idiot. You didn’t get her number.”
Nate let out a groan and tapped his forehead firmly on his steering wheel in frustration. As EJ shook his head, and said his goodbyes, Nate’s head was whirring with thoughts. There was no smooth way to ask for her number now. It’s like he missed an exit on the freeway and there was no way off now. The alcohol and the adrenaline meant he didn’t sleep much that night and, for the first time in a very long time, he didn’t make it to the optional morning skate, much to the surprise of everyone.
The rest of the season flew by as the team soared through the playoffs. Nate kept thinking about ways to ask Charlotte for her number but just couldn’t stop overthinking it and psyching himself out; eventually deciding to table the topic until after the season was over to focus on the Cup. But he reveled in every intermission or postgame interview where they got to talk, or the little conversations they would get to have in the arena or on the plane. Occasionally, he’d even slip in a hug, taking in her perfume, under the guise of celebration.
The gossip had now spread through the group — not surprising since EJ has never once kept a secret — and had been an ongoing chirp for Nate. It didn’t help that at the two galas since, Nate was the first one there excitedly scanning the room, but Charlotte wasn’t at either. He’d learn she was covering the Nuggets or the Rapids those nights and would then leave as early as possible.
It got even harder to not think about her as he neared the end of the season, where every phone call with his mom would eventually turn to his cousin’s wedding in the summer and whether he was going to bring a date. Family weddings were the one time he felt he couldn’t leave early, forcing himself to endure the suffering that was being single in your late twenties and watching people be in love. Not to mention all the comments and questions: wanting gossip, wanting a date, feeling sorry for him.
* * *
Charlotte was happy with the casual platonic friendship that she had found with Nate. She always looked forward to talking with him at games because he was always more relaxed with her than the other boys, even occasionally giving her a sweaty hug after a good, exciting win. Her co-workers had made some comments about how unusual it was, but she just chalked it up to them knowing each other better now.
The job kept her busy, busier than anticipated. And it felt like the year had flown by before she found herself at the celebration gala for the newly crowned Stanley Cup Champions. The atmosphere was different from the last event she had been to. That one was for schmoozing. This was only for celebrating. The energy in the room was intoxicating and she had a big smile plastered to her face as soon as she walked in.
Charlotte made her way through the crowd and congratulated everyone she saw and recognized. Eventually, she stumbled into Gabe.
“Congratulations, Gabe!” you yelled.
“Lotteee! Thank you!” he yelled back, pulling her in for a tight hug before spinning her around. He was so drunk, but he did look unbelievably happy. When he finally put her down, he grabbed her by the arm and very dramatically whispered in her ear while pointing, “Nate’s that way.”
She looked at him confused and surprised, but he didn’t let her say anything before not so gently pushing her towards Nate. And she didn’t protest, because when she finally saw him, she felt her heart speed up again. He looked jubilant, swaying slightly with EJ, face pink and hair messy. She had learned over the last month or so that she really liked the way he looked with the playoff beard.
Charlotte wasn’t sure whether to disturb whatever EJ and Nate were doing, but once EJ saw her, he let out a screech so loud she had no choice but to turn toward them. “Charlotte! Lotte! Lott Ness Monster! Come here!” But once you got here, he immediately left, vanishing to leave her standing in front of the very flushed Nathan Mackinnon.
“Hi Nathan, congratulations! Well deserved. It’s been an absolute privilege watching you this season,” she said, unsure what to do as her heart kept racing faster at the way drunk Nate was looking at her.
“Oh, stop with that professional speech and give me a hug,” he slurred, pulling her in tightly.
She chuckled and let herself enjoy the warmth and the firm contours of his body against her before forcing herself to pull away. He only let her get so far, leaving one arm still wrapped around her shoulders.
“It’s nice to see you enjoying yourself at an event like this,” she said softly.
“Well, I had to! You weren’t at the last two of these, so I had to find a way to entertain myself with EJ,” he said, pouting. She had certainly never seen him pout, but she was even more surprised that he noticed and cared.
“Oh! Yeah, I had work. Sorry.”
“I know. Who even cares about the Nuggets.” he mumbled under his breath before throwing his head back and yelling a quick “GO AVS!” that was followed by a loud round of cheers. After a few seconds, he piped up excited again, “Are you enjoying yourself today?”
“Um… I think so! It’s nice to see everyone so happy and energetic.” Her eyes scanned the crowd, smiling until she caught Gabe and EJ staring and pointing at them. Before she had the chance to ask Nate what that was about, he was pulling her towards Mikko on the other side of the room.
The rest of the night passed in a blur of drinks, laughs, and the warm firm feeling of Nate’s arm around her shoulders. With each passing drink, she found herself leaning into it more. She was sure her face was so red that it rivaled JT’s hair. But if the boys noticed, which they were too drunk to notice, they didn’t mention it. And even if they did, she doesn’t remember.
* * *
The next morning Nate woke up with the worst hangover of his life. He had collapsed on top of all his sheets fully naked, and so he also woke up with a slight feeling of shame and dread at what he might have done the night before. When he finally reached over to check his phone, it was blowing up with messages.
gabe the babe (INCOMING): dude did nate finally hook up with the lott ness monster
JT (INCOMING): omg nate, you have to tell us if you did
mooseman (INCOMING): he definitely did, did you not see how he literally didn’t stop touching her the whole night
Nate buried his head in his sheets and groaned, trying to rack his brain for memories of himself being an idiot around Charlotte last night. But he was drawing a blank. After minutes, he finally lifted his head again and opened a private text to EJ.
Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): ej, please tell me you remember if I did something stupid last night
EJ (INCOMING): yeah. you did.
Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): FUCK what did I do
EJ (INCOMING): you didn’t take lotte home with you you fucking idiot
Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): what
EJ (INCOMING): you just fucking disappeared in an uber without even saying goodbye. and EYE had to make sure she got home okay
Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): oh, well it could’ve been worse
EJ (INCOMING): HOW
EJ (INCOMING): HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN WORSE
Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): idk if I did something stupid or said something bad
EJ (INCOMING): dude, you have got to ask her out, you two clearly like each other
Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): i have no idea what you’re talking about. we're just friends. we just work together. like you and me
EJ (INCOMING): YEAH RIGHT DOGG if you were touching me all night like that, we would be having a very different conversation ;)
EJ (INCOMING): please tell me you at least have her number now
Nate paused and thought back to the night before, but it was such a blur he didn’t know. But when he looked in his contacts, her number wasn’t there.
Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): nope
EJ (INCOMING): you are so fucking hopeless. i hope you find a pair at home this summer so you will finally do something about this crush
EJ (INCOMING): or maybe when we come back in the fall, she won’t be so single anymore and it won’t matter
Nate felt his stomach turn and he groaned. The hangover finally hit him but he was typing a sarcastic response when another message interrupted his thought.
Sarah (INCOMING): congrats again bro! are you bringing someone to the wedding?
Nate (OUTGOING): wow, really cutting to the chase this morning.
Nate (OUTGOING): and no.
Sarah (INCOMING): what you’re telling me a stanley cup winner can’t find a date
Nate groaned again and muffled a scream in his pillow. He knew that his sister and mom would not drop this subject from the moment he got home. He knew that they would probably try to set him on dates, or worse introduce him to every single woman at the wedding. He lay there, head on his pillow, for a long time, until finally, he had an absolutely insane idea. An idea that can only come to someone after the happiest day of their life followed by the biggest hangover of their life.
Nate (OUTGOING): fine, I’ll bring someone
Sarah (INCOMING): OH MY GOD WHAT WHO
Sarah (INCOMING): NATHAN RAYMOND MACKINNON IF YOU’VE BEEN DATING SOMEONE THIS WHOLE TIME AND HIDING IT FROM ME, I’LL KILL YOU. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU’VE WON.
Nate (OUTGOING): nope, not telling
Sarah (INCOMING): you are a child and i hate you
Nate (OUTGOING): I love you. See you soon.
Sarah (INCOMING): URGH
Sarah (INCOMING): Love you too. I’m calling mom.
* * *
Charlotte woke up with a splitting headache and the room spinning at 6 am. And despite how horribly she felt, she couldn’t get back to sleep. She could still feel Nate’s arm on her shoulder, and his lips against her ear as he whispered something unintelligible, and the scent of his cologne lingering on her hair would waft into her memory every few seconds making her heart skip. She was absolutely certain that he was more drunk than she was, and that he was a touchy drunk. She felt even a little guilty for taking advantage of his touchiness, getting as much as she could last night.
After a few hours of being unable to get back to sleep, she peeled herself up and drew herself a bath with a cup of tea. She still wasn’t able to stomach food yet, but she felt her body relaxing in the warm water, finally letting Nate slip from her mind. Eventually, she got up and padded around the house thinking about the long summer ahead. It was her first summer with not a lot of work to do, and since it was her first year in Denver, she also didn’t really know many people or have any concrete plans.
She had just sat down at her computer to research ideas when she heard a buzz on her apartment intercom. She looked down at her phone confused, but there were no texts there from the few friends she had made so far.
“Hello?” she stutters cautiously into the intercom.
“Oh my god, thank fuck,” a familiar voice rang back, “it’s you. I’ve been buzzing every apartment and I swear your neighbors think I’m a crazy person.”
“What?”
“Um. Oh. Sorry, Charlotte. It’s Nate.”
She was stunned silent. Stunned and confused.
“Um… Nathan Mackinnon…” He filled the silence nervously, “You know… From the Avalanche.”
That snapped her out of her trance as a laugh bubbled out of her. “Oh my god Nathan, I know who you are. Sorry. I was just confused. How do you know where I live?”
“Um, well when we first met, I dropped you off here. So, I made the gamble that you still lived here and just buzzed every apartment to see.”
“Oh. Wow,” she says, stunned, confused and flattered, “Um, is everything okay?”
“Ah, yeah.” He paused. “You know, I just realized how dumb this was. I’m really sorry to disturb you—”
“No!” she says louder than she intended, “No, Nathan, wait. Let me buzz you up.”
“Oh, okay, yeah! Thanks!”
She paced around her entryway, thoughts racing. The door knocks still startled her, and as she walked over, she looked down at her sweatpants and realized there definitely was no time to change and prayed she looked okay.
“Hi, Nathan,” she smiled, opening the door, “Um, do you want to come in?”
“Oh, sure,” he hesitates and makes a gesture to hug her before chickening out, pulling away and stepping past her.
“So, what brings you to my humble abode today?”
“Your apartment is cute.”
“Thanks. It’s not NHL superstar level, but it’s pretty good to me.”
He chuckles and leans a hip on the kitchen island, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His eyes were firmly trained on the ground. She wasn’t really sure what to say, so she moved behind him to start making them both some tea. He studies her as she moves around and wonders how it’s possible she looks so good in your sweatpants and messy bun when he feels like his entire guts might just drop out of his body.
Eventually, he spoke up, “Um, so I realized I didn’t have your number.”
This made her laugh, a proper belly laugh. “What,” she manages to get out, “you came all the way here because you don’t have my number.”
“Well…” he hesitates, “Yeah. I mean, I never asked for it I guess.”
“Okay, do you want it now?” she was still laughing.
“Um, yes?” He was shifting on his feet, rubbing his neck with his hand, leaning awkwardly on the countertop.
“Okay,” she reached a hand out.
He looks at her confused and gives it a slap.
“That was for your phone, silly. Not for a five,” she was laughing even harder now. And his cheeks turned bright red as he handed her his phone, not meeting her eyes. She passes the phone back to him along with a cup of tea, “There you go. So… What was the huge rush? You could’ve emailed me or something for it.”
He paused and laughed, “Honestly, I didn’t even think of that. I guess my brain doesn’t work very well when I’m hungover.”
Charlotte took a seat next to him on the kitchen island as they sipped their teas.
After a few minutes, he clears his throat. “Actually, that’s not why I came over. I mean it, but it isn’t the main reason.”
“Okay?” she encouraged.
“I had a really stupid idea and it was stupid at the time, but now I’m here it’s even dumber. So, I’ll just settle for the number.”
“Okay, Nathan, you can’t just say something that cryptic and not tell me.”
His face went bright red again and he shuffled in place. “No, it’s okay.”
“Okay, no. You don’t get to interrupt my hangover recovery and not tell me why.”
He sighed and looked away. After a while, he mumbled under his breath very quickly, “Fine. Icameheretoaskyouifyou’dcometomycousin’swedding.”
“What?” she said, not sure if she misinterpreted the mumbles or if she was dreaming.
“Um… Well, my cousin, back in Nova Scotia, is getting married in a few weeks. And my mom and sister keep bothering me to bring someone. And I just had this stupid idea. Because you’re the only person I’ve had fun with at those big events. So, this morning, in my post-Stanley Cup alcohol delirium I thought Hey, I should ask Charlotte if she wants to help me survive a social event and get my parents off my ass about not having a date? So here I am. But obviously, that was insane. So don’t worry about it.”
Charlotte looked at him, mouth open, in shock for longer than acceptable, and felt her own cheeks redden. A little lightheaded, before she could really stop to think, she responded, “Sure! I mean why not? What’s the harm in me going? I don’t have any plans.”
His head snapped up to meet her eyes for the first time in a few minutes and Charlotte is captivated by the way his sharp blues light up in response. It was when she saw the smile take over his face and her heart sped up that she knew this was probably a huge mistake. But a mistake she didn’t want to take back.
* * *
“So, how long have you two cuties been dating?” the fifth person in a row asked. Charlotte wasn’t sure if this was an aunt or a family friend, but she forced the smile back on her face as she responded.
“Oh, we’re not dating. We work together, kind of.”
The lady looked between the two of them, and Charlotte could feel the hairs on the back of her neck prickle again as she was acutely aware of Nate’s hand resting on her lower back.
“She’s here as my date, yes, but we aren’t dating. We’re just good friends,” he replies gently but firmly, the same way he had been doing all weekend, before changing the subject.
But she was lost in thought. She had been here for a few days, and she had to admit that Nova Scotia was beautiful, and Nate’s family and friends were wonderful. Despite not knowing Nate super well, she had never felt out of place. He had always made sure she was included in conversations, explaining anything that felt like an inside joke. She thought back to all the times she had met a boyfriend’s family — there hadn’t been that many, but enough to know that this was far better than any of them did.
Nate had been awkward and hesitant at first, jumping away every time he touched her by accident on the plane ride over and flinching when their knuckles brushed when he went to help her grab her luggage. But he slowly allowed himself to loosen up a little, reading her lack of discomfort as a good sign. He always prided himself on acting like a gentleman; even though women complained that he was stiff and unromantic, he tried. He found himself putting in an extra effort to hold open the door for her, to pull out a chair for her, to offer an elbow as she walked on the uneven pavement.
If Nate was in his head about every move he made, Charlotte was ten times more in her head. They had only really spent time together at work and work functions. And she wasn’t sure if that’s why something felt different here, more intimate, or if she was just imagining it. She was starting to feel like he was going out of his way to touch her; laying a hand on her knee when they were sitting next to each other, tapping her elbow to show her something, keeping a hand on her back when they were standing.
She had tried her hardest not to lean into his touch every time, but she couldn’t deny the comfort his large hand on her back felt—god, was his hand always this large. It was never too low as to be intrusive; just resting chastely on her mid back to remind her that he was there and was ready to take a break from the socializing at any point.
Whether she was imagining it or not, it was starting to drive her insane. Her skin constantly felt buzzing and hot, tingling in the places he touched, electrified in the places closest to him that craved his touch.
Nate’s low voice in her ear startled her out of her thoughts.
“Hmm?” she responded as she felt her neck and ear flush with the brush of his lips on her ear.
“Oh, I was just asking if you want to go for a walk,” he murmured, “you’re looking a little overwhelmed.”
“Yeah, sure,” she breathed, her voice coming out a little shaky with how close his tall frame was to her.
And so, she reached out and took his extended elbow as they slipped out of the rehearsal dinner and wandered down to the waterfront in silence.
“I can totally see why you love it here,” she finally said.
“Hmm?” he hummed.
“It’s beautiful. The water. With the lights reflecting. And all the beautiful trees. And the fresh air. I can understand why you love coming here in the summer.”
“Yeah, it’s truly something,” he looked over at her with an unreadable expression on his face, but his eyes were warm and soft. It looked like he wanted to say something for a second before he shook his head and looked away. “I’m glad you came with me. You make these big events bearable.”
“Just bearable, Nathan?” she laughed, trying to break the tension in the air she couldn’t really explain. And his chuckles were quick to join hers in the warm summer air.
And just like that, they fell into a comfortable rhythm again, laughing and chatting. Eventually, he walked her back to the hotel and their adjoining rooms.
“Well, here you go, m’lady,” he joked, letting his arm fall from her for the first time in a while. He began to turn towards his room but hesitated for a second before turning back and pulling her into a tight hug. She let herself melt into the hug, embracing the warm buzzing feeling in her chest as she felt his larger frame engulf her. He didn’t let go when she thought he was going to, instead whispering in her ear, “Thank you.”
“Thank me for what, Nathan?”
“For coming with me. For being so good with my family, even though they keep asking intrusive questions. For just being you,” he said, pulling back. They were standing so close together that she could see every shade of blue in his eyes as they looked at her intently. She swore she saw his eyes flicker to her lips briefly before the smallest sharp intake of breath he tried to hide as he untangled from her. She could feel her body ache a little as her cheeks burned.
She didn’t know if it was the glasses of wine or the dizzying tension, but before she could stop herself, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Of course, Nathan,” she murmured, “good night.” She smiled as she turned away and opened her hotel room door as quickly as possible.
She didn’t dare to take a peek back at him, but if she had, she would have seen his eyes wide, and cheeks flushed in shock. Instead, she quickly ducked into the room, shutting the door behind her, leaning back against the cold wood, and closing her eyes. What the fuck am I doing, she said to herself, Nate is a sweet guy, who I work with. I’m just doing him a favor. And he clearly thinks I’m just a good friend, as he keeps saying to everyone. Get it together.
She walked away and started getting ready for bed. It took her a long time to fall asleep that night, tossing and turning as her mind raced through the moments of the day, all the little touches and glances and the sparkle in Nate’s blue eyes.
* * *
The following day was the wedding, and the morning passed comfortably despite neither of them acknowledging the moment they both wanted to talk about so badly. Soon, she found herself sitting beside him in the church, watching the beautiful bride stand next to her adoring groom.
While the ceremony went on, Nate was having a hard time staying out of his thoughts as the celebrant talked about love and marriage and as the happy couple exchanged adoring words with each other. It was not that he hated weddings, not at all; in fact, he loved them. He loved the celebration and the emotion. But as the years went on, it became a stunning reminder of what he did not have. With every wedding and every failed relationship in between, he felt more alone, like maybe something was wrong with him.
Charlotte noticed that Nate seemed emotional, lost in his thoughts. She had no idea what was going through his mind, but she could sense that he was troubled. At some point during the ceremony, when Nate found himself particularly emotional, he had reached his hand over and grasped hers. She had to try hard to hold back the small gasp that threatened to escape her lips. But seeing his troubled expression, she squeezed his hand. And, inexplicably to her, his hand never left hers, not during the rest of the ceremony, or the walk over to the cocktail hour space. He only reluctantly let go to help her to her seat once they got to the reception.
Although they both enjoyed the reception food, they had both been so deep in their own thoughts that their conversation with the table was stilted and almost awkward. Eventually, as the night wore on, and the gentle fuzz of liquor started to take over, they both started to relax. Nate, after starting and stopping for almost 15 minutes, finally asked her to dance; his heart rate racing as she excitedly nodded yes.
Which is how they found themselves on the dancefloor for over an hour. At first, it was awkward. They were standing a foot apart, dancing independently; she, laughing at Nate’s horrible dance moves, and Nate, feeling electrified by the way her body moved. Eventually, they got closer and closer together until they were swaying in each other’s arms to some horrible Mariah Carey song, making snide remarks in each other’s ears and not caring how obnoxiously loud they were laughing at the jokes.
A few drinks later, their inhibitions were lowered enough that she found herself with her back against him. His arms wrapped firmly around her waist as she leaned into his warm, towering figure. Both of them were no longer sure if they were intoxicated by each other or the drinks, but they did not really care. After they were grinding to a Doja Cat song, she swore she felt something press against her back, but she was not sure as Nate swiftly excused himself to use the bathroom.
And that’s how she found herself at the bar by herself.
“Nate really likes you, you know?” she heard a voice say beside her. When she looked over, she saw his mom giving her a knowing glance.
“Oh, Mrs. Mackinnon, we’re just friends,” Charlotte managed to choke out, despite feeling her throat tighten.
“I know, sweetie, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be more there,” she smiled, laying a soft hand on her forearm. She had never felt herself sober up faster.
“I appreciate that, but we do work together,” she strained.
“Please, call me Kathy,” she continued, not acknowledging Charlotte’s weak protest. And when she did not respond, Kathy added, “You know, I’ve met a number of his girlfriends, and he had never looked at them the way he looks at you. Or even treated them the same way. He’s barely left your side since you got here.”
“Kathy, I’m sure that’s not true. You have raised an amazing son. I’m sure he is just as kind to anyone.” She could feel her cheeks feel heat as she started scanning the room, desperate for Nate’s return.
“Sweetheart,” Kathy spoke softly, “I have been married for many years. There is only one reason a person looks at someone the way he looks at you, and that’s love. If you feel the same way, you should tell him. Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short.”
She smiled as her husband came to stand next to her; and before Charlotte could protest again, she gave her a gentle hug before walking away, leaving her standing there with her head spinning at her words.
Charlotte gripped the edge of the bar and downed her drink in one go once the bartender handed it to her, earning an eyebrow raise. She jumped and let out a little squeak when she felt a warm hand press into her back.
“Woah, it’s just me,” Nate joked before he met her eyes and his brows furrowed, “are you okay?”
“Um, yeah,” she croaked out stiffly.
“Are you sure?” he stepped in closer which only made her stiffen more, “You seem… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable?”
“What?” she tried to say calmly, although it came out an octave too high, “What makes you say that? Nope. I’m fine.”
He furrowed his brow more and leaned back, confused, before removing his hand from her back and stuffing them in his pockets. There was a twinge of sadness in his eye as he looked around, unsure what to do. “Okay, then. Do you want to go back on the dance floor? Or I guess not. We could sit back at our table?”
“Yeah,” she said awkwardly, finding a normal tone again, “Table sounds good.”
They sat in silence for a bit, just watching the other guests dancing, both deep in thought. She was stuck thinking about what Nate’s mom had said. If she thought about it, she could totally understand why an outside observer would see their relationship as something more than friends. But if Nate had feelings for her, why did he so insistently refer to her as his “good friend”? And even if he did like her, she wasn’t sure about the implications for her job. Was she going to get fired? Probably not, if she was upfront with HR. But she was new to the city and relatively new to the field. What if people started to see her as the girl who ‘goes for the stars’ or the girl who’s ‘just here to get in some rich athlete’s pants’. She had worked too hard not to be taken seriously now. And maybe if things worked out, it would eventually blow over. But if it didn’t work out… If it didn’t work out, she wasn’t sure what would happen, but she felt it would be bad.
Meanwhile, Nate was panicking; combing through every moment of the evening, trying to find where things went wrong. He was finally feeling like he had an idea of how she felt. Like maybe if he told her his feelings, she would reciprocate. Did he go too far with the dancing? Was Drunk Nate too caught up in the moment and did something inappropriate and unwanted? Nate was never much of a verbal processor — he preferred to stew on things first, — and maybe it was the remnants of the alcohol lingering in his system but he felt the words trying to bubble up in his chest. He didn’t even know what the words would be; maybe words to explain how he felt about her, to make sure he didn’t do something wrong, to make sure she was okay.
When she finally felt the grip on her chest loosen and the thoughts begin to slow a little, she snuck a quick glance at Nate. His jaw was set firm, and brows furrowed. He was staring into the crowd on the dancefloor, but he was clearly not watching them. He looked tense, and she could see the panic she felt reflected on his face. She found herself reaching out and taking his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze; a move that clearly surprised him as he jumped a little before smiling and relaxing into it.
“Nate, I’m actually getting kind of tired. I’m thinking of heading back to the room. Did you want to stay longer?” she said gently.
He squeezed her hand back and gave her a small smile, although the worry hadn’t left the contours of his face yet, “No, I’m actually ready to head back too. Come on.” He pulled her onto her feet.
They took the ten-minute walk back to the hotel in relative silence, tethered together by their interlocked hands. Nate spent the whole walk back planning his speech; he was going to tell her how he felt because he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Holding hands with her just felt so right. But for her, despite how nice it felt, it caused an overwhelming sense of panic to rush back through her. It was nice. It was too nice. It was going to ruin everything.
Stepping out of the elevator, the words escaped her lips before she had the chance to hold them back. “Nate, I think this was a mistake,” her voice was barely above a whisper. He froze beside her and managed to choke out a “What?”
“Nate,” she said, pulling her hand away from him and backing towards her door, “This is giving me a taste of what I can’t have. And this friendship… I don’t think I can do this.”
“What are you talking about?” he replied, still stuck in the spot where she left him, his voice louder than he had intended.
“The touching, the holding hands, the being sweet… It’s too much,” she said, unlocking the door, not meeting his eyes.
“What—” he repeated, his voice cracking at the end. Her mind didn’t process that the pain she felt was echoed in his voice.
She sighed, stepping into the doorway, “I can’t do this, Nate. Because if we keep doing this, I’m going to fall in love with you. And I can’t do that while being your ‘good friend from work’. So, I’m going to bed. Good night.” She finally met his eye as she stepped back to shut the door, barely registering the way his face flickered from hurt to confusion to shock to hope.
Charlotte rested her forehead against the door and let out a shaky breath. She could feel the tears form and slide down her face. She tried to convince herself that it was the right move, but the only thing she could hear in her head was the sound of Nate’s mother’s voice saying ‘Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short.’ What if Kathy was right? What if protecting herself from pain was causing more pain itself? What if it would work out? As she stood there, she listened for movement on the other side of the door, but she heard none. Was that hope she saw in his face there? If it was, what did it mean?
Before she could finish the thought, she heard shuffles and a rapid knock on the door that startled her. She didn’t know why, but she opened it without hesitation.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I did something earlier that made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry if I'm crossing a boundary now but I would never forgive myself if I didn't say this," he said, looking at her with concern. When she nodded, he continued speaking.
He confessed to her that he had never been this person before, love-struck and irrational. He had always been calm, detached, and calculated, but with her, he couldn't help it. He couldn't help being rash, like inviting her to the wedding or reaching out to touch her and be close to her.
She had told him that she couldn't do this because she was scared of falling in love with him, but he revealed that he might already be in love with her. He had been saying that she was just a friend and a colleague because he was scared, but he had never felt this way before and was afraid he would mess it up.
During the wedding ceremony, he looked around at everyone and realized that he had won the Stanley Cup this year, but he still felt off. He kept thinking about her - how her laughter made him want to make her laugh again, how her smile warmed his chest, and how he could still feel the tingle where their skin had touched even after she left.
He admitted that he had never been sure if he had truly been in love before, and maybe this was it. He thought they owed it to themselves to find out because he believed she might feel the same way. He knew it might not be the most rational decision, but it was everything he had to say.
Feeling a shaky breath escape her lips, she heard the voice in her mind, "Don't stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short." For the first time on this trip, she felt her mind still and smiled as she closed the distance between them. With her chest pressed to him, she looked up at him, admiring his soft and nervous blue eyes. She reached up to cup his neck and met him in a kiss.
The kiss was gentle and soft at first, as she chastely felt their bodies slot together; his hands finding her waist, and hers fisting his suit jacket to bring him closer. After not long, she felt Nate run his tongue along her lip and she allowed herself to deepen the kiss, conveying the emotion that was hard to put into words. The feeling of his firm hands against her waist and his muscular body against hers again made her feel as though she were on fire. And she had to admit, she liked this quite a lot. Eventually, they disconnected and rested their foreheads together as they took in the moment.
“So, are you going to say something?” Nate whispered.
“Yeah, uh, ditto,” she whispered back, giggling slightly.
“That’s it?!” he leaned back in mock horror, “After I poured my heart out, that’s all you have to say?” She could see a smile tugging at his lips.
“Well, I think for the first time in your life, you have spoken enough words for both of us, Nathan,” she laughed as she gave his chin a little pinch, drawing a laugh from him as well. She leaned back in to place another firm kiss on his lips before saying, “I like you a lot too. Like a lot a lot. It scares me. But, as the kids say, you only live once, and I need to stop being scared and just see where this goes because I think I might be in love with you, Nathan, and I need to find out if I am.”
He smiled broadly; it’s the smile she loves, the one where his nose scrunches a little and she can see the genuine happiness on his face. And as their lips rejoined, she slowly started to pull him back into her hotel room.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” he says, disconnecting their lips briefly.
“Uh, right now? Sure, I guess,” she raised her eyebrow.
“Why do you always call me Nathan? Everyone always calls me Nate.” The question catches her off-guard and she laughed as she continued dragging him into your room.
“I was trying to remind myself to stay professional and not fall for you,” she laughed as she felt the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed.
“Right…That worked so well, I’ll have to remember that one for the future, Miss Charlotte,” he laughed back before kissing her again so deeply and passionately that she forgot whatever retort was on the tip of her tongue.
#Nathan mackinnon#colorado avalanche#Nathan mackinnon imagine#Colorado Avalanche imagine#nhl imagine#hockey imagine#avs#Nathan mackinnon fic#Colorado Avalanche fic#avs imagine#avs fic#hockey imagines#rox writes
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
max's favorite short stories & articles!
to be updated as i read new things! "articles" could be anything from political points to philosophical musings to fascinating stories. obligatory statement that i don't necessarily agree with everything in every one of these stories/articles, but i think about them a lot and want to share :)
short stories
Avi Cantor Has Six Months To Live by Sacha Lamb (@kuttithevangu) (novella)
(so says the writing on the bathroom mirror. of gender & judaism & magic and t4t trans guys. cw for suicidal ideation and bullying)
Epistolary by Sascha Lamb
("The [stuffed] frog you are selling on your blog is MINE and he is NOT HAUNTED and his name is MOSHE not BILLY HOPPER.")
Chokechain by Andrew Joseph White
(a trans man discovers his parents have replaced him with a robot version of his pretransition self. cw for transphobia and violence)
Sandrine by Alexandra Munck
(the tagline for this one is "I dated a sun god in college" but that doesn't do justice to the sheer concept here please read this)
The Traveler Wife by yves. @yvesdot
(an astronaut writes to the wife she left back home)
You Wouldn't Have Known About Me by Calvin Gimpelevich
(set in a hospital ward where patients are recovering from gender-confirming surgery)
No Flight Without the Shatter by Brooke Bolander (novella)
("After the world’s end, the last young human learns a final lesson from Earth’s remaining animals." cw for climate change/extinction)
And You Shall Know Her By The Trail Of Dead by Brooke Bolander
(what if you had to death-match-fight a virtual version of yourself at your meanest made by your boyfriend whose life you're trying to save would that be fucked up or what. cws for guns and violence)
Hell is the Absence of God by Ted Chiang
(stories that clock you in the fucking teeth in the religious trauma.)
A Serpent for Each Year by Tamara Jerée (microfiction)
("Our relationship is almost a year old when I ask Nal why she is covered in snakes." cw for animal death)
The Front Line by W.C. Dunlap (microfiction)
(cited as one of the world's finest attention-grabber openings. cws for police brutality, racism, and SA)
Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience by Rebecca Roanhorse
(step into the simulation and gain an authentic experience! cws for anti-Native racism and alcohol)
articles & essays
Lockhart's Lament
(on how math is taught in schools. that is, badly. one of the most cathartic essays i've ever read on education)
Against Cop Shit by Jeffrey Moro
(on adversarial education)
I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out. by Jennifer Coates
(do you have to be out to be a woman? cw for transphobia, homophobia, and eating disorders)
Debunking "Trans Women Are Not Women" Arguments by Julia Serano
(comprehensive, well-written, good to have as a reference point)
On Liking Women by Andrea Long Chu
(and on the politics of desire)
Turning a Unicorn Into a Bat by Josh and Lolly Weed
(on Mormonism, love, and whether a gay man and a straight woman can marry happily. cw for homophobia)
Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price
(musings on motivation from a social psychologist and professor)
How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation by Anne Helen Peterson
(how come everything happens so much?)
White Women Drive Me Crazy by Aisha Mirza
(on the harm caused by white women. cw for racism)
Everything You Know About Obesity Is Wrong by Michael Hobbes
(should be required reading for everyone at this point. cw for fatphobia and eating disorders)
Becoming Anne Frank by Dara Horn
(on the cultural fascination with Anne Frank. cw for antisemitism)
The Ecstasy of Influence by Jonathan Lethem
([on/a] plagiarism)
On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People by Patricia Taxxon (video essay)
(ostensibly what the title says, but actually a detailed musing on the essential properties of furry media and the freedom of dehumanization; changed my life a bit)
#max.txt#yayayayayay :)#i've decided i'm going to start doing the 'what i read this month' thing#so this is like#my base to come backt o and update when i find new favorites#readings
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
February 2023 Fic Rec List
All kinds of genres, but I think mostly fluffy romance and smut. Not necessarily together. 🤣
Some new-to-me authors, too!
Enjoy!
Many of these blogs and fics are NSFW-18+. Please honor any requests from a blog regarding no minors. I am not responsible for the content you choose to consume; heed the warnings for each fic.
~Miscellaneous~
The Girl Called Sparrow ~ @watercolorfreckles. Author's Summary: None (Original Content; Fae x Human)
~MCU~
A Date With Danger ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: None (Bucky x Reader)
My Heart is Still Yours ~ @justagirlinafandomworld. Author's Summary: None (Drabble; Stever Rogers x Gender Neutral Reader)
No Title ~ @girl-next-door-writes. Author's Summary: None (Valentine Drabble; Clint Barton x Reader)
Sugar ~ @justagirlinafandomworld. Author's Summary: None (Drabble; Bucky Barnes x Reader)
The Unexpected Valentine ~ @cockslutpadalecki. Author's Summary: When you decide to spend your ruined Valentines getaway alone, you’re thankful for the peace and quiet but when a mysterious stranger catches your eye, your Valentines weekend turns out better than you ever imagined.
~RPF~
Before The Show ~ @wayward-dreamer. Author's Summary: Y/N finds a way to help with Jensen’s nerves before the concert.
No Title ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: None (Drabble; Sebastian Stan x Reader)
Something About Fate... Chapter 1 ~ @jawritter. Author's Summary: Y/N has been homeless and living on the streets of Dallas, Texas since the start of Covid. Until one day, a handsome, green eyes strange notices her and turns her whole world upside down.
~Supernatural~
A Few Moments of Madness ~ @smellingofpoetry. Author's Summary: “There were several things he shouldn’t have done that night, one in particular. He shouldn’t have fucked her on the kitchen counter.”
All Along The White Line ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: Take a drive to nowhere with your favorite Winchester…
Bubble Bath ~ @justagirlinafandomworld. Author's Summary: None (Drabble; Dean Winchester x Reader)
Caught Up In You ~ @lanea-1. Author's Summary: None (Dean x Reader)
I Don't Mind ~ @avanatural. Author's Summary: Four different hunts. Four shared motel rooms, four shared bathrooms, four shared beds. And four times that Y/N doesn’t mind getting closer to Dean.
Imagine Dean being flirty whenever you have to work alone together on a case... ~ @supernaturalfreewill. Author's Summary: None (Imagine/Drabble)
In Living Color ~ @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior. Author's Summary: Y/N never knew how much color existed in the world till a green-eyed hunter stumbled into her path.
Love is in the little things ~ @thinkinghardhardlythinking. Author's Summary: Dean shows the reader he cares as they bond over the season finale of ‘Dr Sexy MD’.
Magical Blooms ~ @iprobablyshipit91. Author's Summary: None (Dean Winchester x Female Reader)
Mine ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: Dean gets a little rough with you, leaving lovely little marks behind so you remember who owns you…
No Title ~ @girl-next-door-writes. Author's Summary: None (Valentine Drabble; Dean x Reader
No Title ~ @thoughtslikeaminefield. Author's Summary: None (Ficlet; Dean x GN Reader)
Nothing Left To Say ~ @kittenofdoomage. Author's Summary: You let it lie too long, and now it’s time to move on. It’s escaping unnoticed that’s the problem.
She Smiles ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: None (Drabble; Dean x Reader)
So, How 'Bout It? ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: None (Drabble; Dean x Reader)
Used to This-Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V ~ @trexrambling. Author's Summary: You’ve lived with the Winchesters for years as a fellow hunter, and everyone has always stayed well in the friend zone. What happens when nightmares come haunting and Dean offers to help? Will things change, or is it all in your head?
~The Boys~
Checkerboard ~ @zepskies. Author's Summary: You’re not a supe. You’re breakable. Soldier Boy sometimes forgets that.
No Title ~ @charnelhouse. Author's Summary: None (Soldier Boy x F!Reader)
~Top Gun: Maverick~
Stick The Landing-Part 1-No One's In The Room Mini Series ~ @princessmisery666. Author’s Summary: Good news, they made it to the safe house. Bad news, a blizzard hinders their rescue. (Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Ryleigh 'Rodeo')
Personal Vegas-Part 2-No One's In The Room Mini Series ~ @princessmisery666. Author’s Summary: As much as Jake would like everyone to believe he’s the terminator, Ryleigh doesn’t buy it. Stranded for a few days, she tries to discover who he is when no one else is in the room. Jake worries about being vulnerable and doesn’t make it easy for her. (Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Ryleigh 'Rodeo')
On Patreon
~Supernatural~
Rebekah Jordan (Impala-Dreamer)
Colder Weather ~ Summary: Dean’s always been the one for you, but his life - hunting, fighting, almost dying constantly- it hasn’t given you a chance to try. Until one day, things seem to change…
Every Inch of You ~ Summary: None (Dean x Reader)
Of Whipped Cream and Body Heat ~ Summary: After getting jumped on a hunt, Y/N and Dean find themselves locked in a walk-in refrigerator. Can they brave the cold and each other's temper until Sam sets them free?
thinkinghardhardlythinking
Someone To Watch Over Me-Parts 6-9 ~ Summary: Y/N is married to a very rich, decidedly unscrupulous and powerful man. A man whose inability to trust means he hires someone to watch over his wife while he isn’t around. He hires Dean Winchester, a handsome stranger to Y/N, who is soon to become a very big part of her life.
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
this is so random but every time i see you in my notifs i read your username as quinnmorgoffengender or something and it took me MONTHS to realize it is in fact somebody’s name
Lmaoooo that's fantastic! but, just because today the show turned 26...
let me just say I think everyone should watch it. It truly has some of the best character development of all time, particularly Quinn, but you see the changes in everyone over time and it's the most accurate depiction of high school imo - I'm aware things are different for gen zers, but I think it still rings true. I love it so much I have two copies of it on DVD (one that was uhhhh not so legal but therefore has the original soundtrack), I have two versions of it on my computer, I basically have every episode memorized, I've dressed as Quinn for Halloween (though very few people recognize it), I can tell you the plot of each episode by just the title, I have a page on my blog where you can rank the episodes, and I even wrote fic combining that world with one of my other all time favorite shows, Arrested Development called You're Standing on My Neck (a line from the theme song, which goes tf off!) and it even has a sequel mostly written around one dumb, stupid, ridiculous joke I had combined with one specific episode, My Night at Tony's. ...And in the very first chapter of that one I all but paused the action for four characters to watch Clueless and Top Gun, because of course I did lol.
And while there are obviously many ways to watch it, if you want the most legal way, it's streaming on Paramount+, but it doesn't have the two TV movies (one between s4 and 5 and one that served as the finale after s5, though the first one is more important because it literally resolves cliffhanger relationship stuff from s4 but WHATEVER, PARAMOUNT)
And now I will just drop one of my all time fave quotes from one Quinn Morgendorffer
(P.S. Quinn's a lesbian)
#sorry I just have to promo this show at every chance#i am wearing my daria sweatshirt rn lol#i just get sad bc people particularly most merch just focus on like maybe one or two sarcastic quotes#and people boil it down to something that it really isn't#or they'll put fake quotes on shit#if you ever see something where jane and daria are playing scrabble saying they should be gay#that's not a real fucking quote and it kills me that it gets spread around#anYWAY#thanks for this ask lol it made me laugh#bite me in the ask#daria#i'd say for blacklist but if you blacklist daria....#why tf are you following someone with a daria url....
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Writing update
So with the new semester starting up I have more time to write stuff that isn’t about intangible cultural heritage (psyche, my fiction still is about ICH, fuck you). I’m pretty close to finishing chapter two of >Reorient, which should go live sometime in the coming week. It looks like it’ll be about as long as the last chapter, which is pretty cool. After that, I’m going to put that fic on the back burner for a little bit. I have an idea for at least one more chapter after this one, maybe two? I want to do an engagement chapter for sure and maybe a shorter, fluffier wedding chapter? Honestly, I haven’t quite decided. I think I want the final chapter to be a graduation chapter (minor spoilers for chapter two), which might wind up being more of an epilogue/lead in for the sequel I’m planning.
But all of that will come later in the year, because before that, I want to finish The Cadet, as promised. As it stands, that story sits at around 10 000 words and I think I have about 5000 left to write. So I should be able to get that done before the end for the month. I think I’ll refrain from doing any major revisions for this version, since I’m probably just going to publish it on this blog. If I decide to do anything more with it in the future, it will probably require some substantial edits. However, for now I just want you guys to read it.
Once The Cadet is finished, I want to write the first chapter of a fic set in the same continuity as >Reorient, but twenty years down the line. I’ve tentatively (that’s al lie, I’m fairly certain this will be the final title) >Vriska: Reconcile and, shockingly, it’s about Vriska. I haven’t fully worked out the details, but the highlights are that Vriska turns up in the >Reorient timeline with significantly less time having passed for her than for everyone else. Terezi has not yet returned from paradox space and Vriska finds that she fully has no idea how to live in a world where things are just… fine? Since the theme of this fic will be reconciliation, I want to focus heavily on Vriska reconciling with herself, reconciling with her friends (specifically Kanaya, Terezi, and Karkat), and reconciling with her life-world. There will be vrisrosekan. I’m sorry, there just will be. There might be some vrisrezi too. What can I say, I love lesbian drama. In >Reorient, I’m trying to focus on Rose’s changing understanding of significance as she matures, so in >Reconcile, I want to focus on how maturing changes Vriska’s understanding of relevance. My plan is to make >Reconcile a bit — just a bit! — smutty. But, like, in a sex as plot device way not in a sex as pure titillation way. I don’t know, we’ll have to see.
After I get the first chapter of >Reconcile out, I’m going to switch between writing chapters of the fics until they’re both complete. The Cadet is intended to be a standalone story, but if it gets a positive reaction, I could be persuaded to write more stories in that setting. There’s some pretty neat stuff in Aeschia (that’s the name of the world, dw about it) that The Cadet never even touches. Like lesbian vampire Jesus being burned at the stake to absolve vampires of the need to feed on human flesh or the Cold War style arms race to develop psionic weapons capable of destabilizing the reality on a metaphysical level or even just a more in-depth study of elf genders.
One of my personal goals for the next few years is to publish more of my writing in public forums. While I’m hoping to get an academic paper published this year, I’d also like actually share my fiction with people more. I love writing and I have been writing short fiction on and off since I was twelve. However, I’ve never felt comfortable sharing it with anyone, so most of it never got finished. Having this blog and seeing the positive reactions that >Reorient has thus far received has made me realize how much anxiety was holding me back. Having an audience, even just a small one, has created the sense of accountability I think I always needed in order to actually finish projects that I start. So thank you, everyone. I cannot express how much I appreciate every single reblog and comment and kudos I’ve received in the past few months. You’ve lit a fire in me that cannot be extinguished. Hopefully. And don’t worry if fiction / homestuck / uh whatever the hell The Cadet is isn’t your thing! I’m doing another semester long course on feminist philosophy, so I absolutely will have more essays to share with you all here soon!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Nobody asked about my writing” meme
Thanks for the tag, @tea-understands :) Thankfully I have a small handful of folks who ask me about such things but I do love these memes.
1: what are you currently working on?
The Big Boy Fic! The finale of Earth-197320, which I'm 99% certain I am calling Above the Shadows. And I'll have a fun update on Write Every Day June in a couple days.
2: summarize your current project
It's the fifth and final fic in a series that I started 4 years ago from an anonymous prompt sent to @amethyst-noir. I really clicked with it and she gave me her blessing to pursue it as a full-fledged fic, and here we are today.
Here's my first stab at a proper summary that I wrote for this questionnaire (tell me what you think y'all??):
2019 starts off in crisis-mode as rifts within the borders of reality begin spiraling out of control, drawing the resources of the Masters of the Mystic Arts thin. Tony now juggles the problems of a suddenly-absent Stephen, keeping his work with the sorcerers a secret, and Pepper's uncertain future. Stephen does what he can to maintain the stability of reality while keeping the promises he made.
And somewhere out there, the other Stephen Strange is still hiding, putting his own plans into play.
3: summarize your current project poorly
An author split up what should have been a single work into five separate stories because she wanted to fulfill Bingo cards in 2019, leading to a series that the readers are probably going to need to reread because there's so much detail in Fic 5 that calls back to stuff that happened in Fics 1-4. Fics 1-3 match the length of Fic 4, and Fic 5 is well over the length of Fics 1-4 combined, making for even poorer fic splitting choices. Whoops.
4: describe your favorite character or characters
I mean. Do I really need to? If you're on my blog you know who my faves are.
I guess quick summary as they are in the series in particular:
Stephen Strange: Has an enormous guilt complex that he's been working through a lot. He got better with the help of new friends. His work has endeared them to him quite a bit.
Wong: Has taken a leadership role, but not the title of Sorcerer Supreme for reasons not yet established to the readers. Carries his own secrets. Excellent poker face, but not emotionless.
Tony Stark: Has been blatantly ignoring the Accords ever since he went against Ross's back to find Steve in Siberia and has been continuing that trend since. Seeing the feds turn their eyes on Peter changed his opinion quite strongly. The Steve Issue is still difficult.
Other Strange: He thinks the Avengers and Masters of the Mystic Arts have failed their duties and that he can protect all of reality by himself. He just needs more power.
5: post a line from your current project without any context
Closed my eyes and scrolled and went to a random page. This is what came up.
Oh, Jesus Christ. This explained so much about the man.
6: how do you get through writers block?
If it's not something health-related which just makes it physically very hard to work on items, I'll switch projects with my shorter fics. For a long fic like this, I'll put on a sprint and just power through 15 minutes at a time to get the harder bits out.
For health-related stuff (including mental), you sometimes just need to work on that first before you can be in the right space to write.
7: would you want to live in the world of your current work?
Hell no. Superhero worlds are terrible for normal people.
8: briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline
I write an outline with the main beats of what I want in that chapter. Then when I get to the actual chapter, I'll sometimes expand the outline with more detail in that chapter section itself. I often go back to the main outline and add new things as I come up with them, or switch around elements in the story to a new chapter. This is how the planned outline has grown from around 12 normal chapters and 1 interlude chapter to 18 normal chapters and 2 interlude chapters (with potential for more growth seeing as I'm getting into some areas that have original outlining that I no longer am certain I want to use as they were ideas from over 2 years ago and the story's evolved a lot since then).
9: what is the aesthetic of your current project?
So much plot. Rewriting a lot of the end of phase 3 to push my Found Family agenda. Fix it vibes, but I think it's a natural fix it arc from the canon drama that could have happened in canon if the Russos gave a damn. A lot of character exploration into their own separate journeys and growth arcs. Pretty accurate on Marvel tones with action, drama, a bit of snark and humor. An itty bitty dash of canon romance but we all know I'm including it only because it needs to be there due to the plot and character arc reasons and not because I'm all googly-eyed for the genre.
10: what song sums up your current work the best?
Each chapter in the series takes a song lyric from a specific song and I identify that song with the story pretty heavily. For instance, Illuminating the Shadows took "The Light" from Disturbed.
For Above the Shadows, it's "Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy (who I'm seeing live in concert in a couple days, yay).
Tagging those who I know are writing/trying to write: @mckiwi, @sobeautifullyobsessed, @burglarhobbit, @amethyst-noir. No obligation either way. Also if I didn't tag you please feel free to take this (and you can poke me here if you'd like as a reminder that you're still actively writing fic regardless of the fandom and I'll try to remember for these sorts of things).
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
i get on your blog this morning and these news are the first fucking thing i see???? holy fuck you dont understand how much my blood is boiling right now, and i cannot even BEGIN to imagine what it would feel like for you, the original author, when just a simple reader is feeling this way.
what pisses me off even more is that taking a publication and posting it without proper credit or permission is one thing, but taking a publication, changing the title and everything, claiming it as yours and making your OWN copyright warnings, and saying shit like "oh i put my blood sweat and tears into writing this!! :3" PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭😭 you know what you DID put your blood sweat and tears into?? pressing that ctrl c and ctrl v button and pressing post.
these people need to GET. A. LIFE. WAKE THE FUCK UP 😭😭 if you want to have a gorgeously written fic and claim it as your own, publishing it for everyone to see, THEN MAKE YOUR OWN. IT IS PLAIN FUCKING EMBARASSING, ESPECIALLY FOR THE OG AUTHOR TO SEE THEIR OWN COPYRIGHTED POSTS, WITH YOU CLAIMING IT AS YOUR OWN. how do people not get this..
im sorry im a little pressed with this right now but 😋😋 im gonna send this anon msg to you and then go to wattpad and comment on every single line saying that that shit isnt their fic, and report it and somehow attempt to get in contact with them to fucking bash at them. i personally think violence is never the answer but people like this make me second guess my choices sometimes aha!
REMINDER THAT I LUV YOU SOSO MUCH and we are here for your for situations like this no matter what. ty for telling us about it so we can report it. this is such an unfair and icky situation for you and i understand that, we luv you so fucking much star we'll get back at that fucking wattpad user for this (ofc its wattpad 😭)
~《☘》, burning with rage
THE “BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS” PART KILLED MEEEE LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN 😭😭 and the way they maintained it being their original work even when they finally took it down???? I will never for the LIFE of me understand thieves and their tactics. They really delude themselves into thinking it’s their property 🥲 THANK YOU endlessly for all your help and for helping me get it taken down, you guys are truly the best and I don’t know what on earth I would do without all your support ☹️🫶🩷 I seriously love you so so much it hurts
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
EUCLID ANALYSIS.
Part one -> Title and meaning
Part two -> Line by line analysis part one
Part three -> Line by line analysis part two
Part four -> Musical/instrumental notes
Part five -> The Night in Sleep Token
Part six -> You're already here!
So, after all this, we have to come to some sort of conclusion about our points. One main and obvious conclusion can be made about exactly what Euclid is about; change. Overall, Euclid holds a constant theme of change and acceptance, both pushed through callbacks to previous songs and through general lyricism.
As stated in the post previous to this one, TMBTE, as an album, is about the turmoil of accepting change, therefore making Euclid the cap of acceptance of the passing of time, that Vessel needs to change and has changed and that’s okay.
However, we still have a few theories to talk about.
Euclid can be perceived as being a form of symmetry; a parallel that Vessel lays his life on because it brings all of the produced albums, all of his stories, together. It is symmetric because it reflects Vessel’s past, rotates what once was into something new, translates Vessel’s pain and what Sleep has to say into something manageable and combines past songs to create something that isn’t as different as we believe it to be from said songs.
Even so, Euclid could also be Vessel, which I don’t feel the need to explain since I’ve already linked the post the idea comes from, but I’ll do it again here.
Furthermore, Euclid could also be the replacement for Vessel in the future. As I stated in the first of these series of posts, the album art literally depicts a copy of Vessel, the same but different, holding the severed head of his era two’s mask. Euclid is about change, so, who’s to say the change isn’t Sleep having a new mouthpiece?
All in all, Euclid is about the past, present and probably, the future, which is most likely why I’ve been drawn to it so much. I talk about myself much more on this blog than I do in real life, so, it’s probably known to my followers that my greatest fear is the passage of time and change, which is why I’ve been so interested in this song. It depicts the thing that I have been afraid of for most of my life as ethereal and good. Inevitable, but comforting.
I think that would be the best sum up for the topic of this song; inevitable, but comforting.
So, you may now be asking ‘Mel, what do you think Euclid is about? You’ve talked about these different theories, not given much reason why you think so but still, and what Euclid could be, so what do you think?’
With full honesty? I am completely unsure. I have listened to this song over and over again since when it came out in May, 8 full months, had it consume my waking and dreaming thoughts, sat down and wrote all this and I still don’t fully know. Euclid is, in my perception of it, all of these things. Euclid could be Vessel’s past name or the vessel that will replace him. Euclid could be symmetry itself! Euclid could be all three of these things and more that I haven’t been able to decipher.
However, what I can say, is that Euclid is most definitely a eulogy, a reprise and a thank you. I view it as a love letter of sorts to all of Sleep Token’s past music (the albums One and Two included). In @todaysemotionalsupportsong own words: it’s an open door, a new beginning. It feels like sunshine streaming through trees finally blooming and like everything will be okay.
The reason why I believe Euclid to be a thank you to us as a collective, other than what I have already said, is because of the general nature of Sleep Token. Vessel, in all his anonymity, can sing his tunes to the void and you, who are there in the gloom visiting the past or sat there believing you are alone, mistake the words for your own and mould them to your own experiences. That is the gift Vessel is giving us, that is why Euclid is a thank you.
I apologise if this is not the conclusion any of you reading came here for, because I physically cannot give you enough solid evidence to confirm nor deny any of these theories. When I write literature essays, I always have something to go on; context clues from the author’s life or something confirmed by someone far past my era to base my ideas on, but with this? I have my thoughts and the people on my Tumblr dash. I have no way to source potential context to support my statements because I don’t have a clue who Vessel is and, in the nicest way possible, I don’t care to know either. Outside of lore speculations, I can’t give you much other than stating and analysing the obvious, which is the whole point of Sleep Token. They are here to deliver a message, be mouthpieces for suffering and joy, nothing more, as derogatory as that sounds.
Despite this, I hope whoever has read through eight months of the inner workings of my mind trying to dissect this song has found entertainment, or perhaps clarity through it. Thank you, reader, for even sitting down and reading these posts.
Worship.
#and in the end#the question is;#have you accepted it yet?#I hope this helped you to.#sleep token#st#sleep token analysis#mel's rambles#euclid#euclid sleep token#tmbte#sleep token tmbte
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was thinking like. I'm never ever gonna change my blog title but if I was gonna I'd change it to like. you deserve happiness Olivia Benson. Bc what a line!
But then it occurred to me some of y'all haven't been following me for eleven years (some of y'all have tho and I love y'all with my whole heart) and so likely don't have any idea what looks like love means.
The first fandom I ever wrote for was the closer (and thinking back on it now I don't even really know how that happened just that it did and it literally changed my entire goddamn life I cannot stress that enough) and the very first line Brenda Leigh Johnson says to Andy Flynn in the very first episode is looks like love. The men around her, who do not know her, are discussing a dead body and speculating about the crime scene, and this is what she says, studying the body. Looks like love. That's what it looks like. It looks like love.
And in the final episode, many years later, when she is leaving her team, and they collectively purchased her a bag identical to the iconic one she carries throughout the entire show - a bag she had to destroy when she shot the big bad - a bag that is as much a part of her as her accent, a bag filled with her favorite sugary snack, the same man she said looks like love to so many years before asks her how the bag looks. And she looks at him, a little watery, and says looks like love.
And the feeling of that, that sense of a story having been told in full, with love and care, that nod to the audience, the way Andy chuckles and hangs his head, recognizing exactly what she's just said to him and appreciating it, the joy and the satisfaction of that, that clever reversal - she was right, that love was the motive behind that first murder; that love killed, and this love healed - is exactly what makes me want to write.
And every word I have ever written, for the last eleven years, all of it, all of it, looks like love. Bc it is.
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
5 MUSE THEME SONGS
When you get this, list theme songs for your muse and why (i.e. explanation, lyrics). Tagged by @jocundcompany, thank you!
I'm gonna kiiind of cheat since I just did a 5 songs meme yesterday, and listed some of the major Svern vibe songs there. So I'm going to take the chance to talk more about 4 of those and then swap out the last one for something else. Under readmore since it gets a bit long.
"NO ONE LIVES FOREVER" by Oingo Boingo
I once said this is the Svernest song to have songed. Because it is.
The sound? Chaotic and offputting. The tone? Snarky, carefree in a nihilistic way. The lyrics themselves? Svern's code for living, presented in four minutes. There's a reason why I use this song as the title for his blog.
Everything's temporary, and nothing matters half as much as you think it does. You don't know when you're gonna die, either, so you may as well muck around and have fun while you're still alive! Some of the words might seem free, but it never lets you forget that there is an inescapable end (and this isn't something that you can, or should bother trying to flee from).
Plus I want to use these lyrics when I make him a promo one day:
I'm so happy, dancing while the grim reaper cuts, cuts, cuts...
But he can't get me!
I'm as clever as can be, and I'm very quick
But don't forget, we've only got so many tricks...
No one lives forever!
"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN" by Set It Off
It's self-explanatory babey!!! This is literally his in-character tag!!!
This song is all about running, being too fast to catch, living on the edge and being unapologetic about it. It's a taunt, too. Other people can't keep up with him and he doesn't care! Go ahead and try to catch him, he's always going to be a step ahead of you. He doesn't give a crap. This one is the fun Svern "main theme" instead of the existential one.
I already posted the chorus lyrics, so...
I pull out every trick, I don't regret a thing, no
You're running after me, chasing apologies
When you can't get a grip
I paved my path somewhere hard to follow
Outplayed, outclassed, I said...
(Catch me if you can!)
"BE AFRAID OF WHO YOU ARE" by Euringer
A song about Kids With Issues. Pretty straightforward. (Can you identify which lines I used for tags and blog theme cameos...)
For a while I wasn't totally sold on the aggression in some of the lyrics, but after getting more sure in his character... yeah, it's fine. The general sound is again, kinda edgy and unhinged, which is always a win. There's something not right with you, isn't there? Something that makes you dangerous?
Svern says, yeah, there is. And you better watch out! This is a song for the side of him born from others' treatment of him for being flawed.
Now, off like a prom dress
Live in the moment
Embrace the darkness
Now, king of the misfits
Lines on the mirror
Off in the distance
"MISERY LOVES COMPANY" by Emilie Autumn
This is actually pretty new on the list. The original topic of the song isn't really applicable but you know how it is with making character playlists, you need to stretch things sometimes.
The tone is aggressive, unapologetic, and resentful. It sums up Svern's inner feelings toward most people pretty well. He doesn't like them.
He's with others on a regular basis, both because he has to be and because being around them gives him something (fills the void a bit)... but that doesn't mean he feels positively toward them, no, not at all. At all times he maintains a mistrustful, jaded distance inside himself.
Shoutout to these two sections in particular:
You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me
You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me
You're so easy to read, but the book is boring, boring, boring...
Pray for me if you want to, pray for me if you care
Pray for me if you want to, pray for me if you dare
"DREAM STATE" by Son Lux
Finally, the song that I chose to represent Svern's alt verse.
This song is about change. It opens with being impervious and invincible, goes through uncertainty and turbulence, and ends on a similar but different note with reminiscing about how things were in the beginning. Those days are gone; through everything that's happened, you've changed.
In the alternate verse, a catalyst sends Svern off the road he would otherwise, ordinarily, have gone down. He suffers a loss, experiences grief and confusion that he doesn't in his main verse, that he's never dealt with before, something he doesn't know how to handle, and the actions spurred by that change the course of everything else. The song's energy is driven, thoughtful and reaching, mirroring his mental and emotional journey.
And of course, the lyric I chose to use for the verse tag itself...
Out of the dark day, into the brighter night...
Love that light/dark theme. Not only is it aesthetically fitting, it also alludes to things diverging from their original course. It's not without suffering, but he ends up healthier here than if he'd continued on his original road.
#point your finger and deny (dash games)#dark disquiet is good too but i feel like i would just end up saying that it explains itself mostly#plus i really really do love dream state. i wanted to talk about it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Playing Theatrhythm Final Bar Line
Guess who got the latest installment of Theatrhythm on its release day?? actually preordered bc they’re fun but yeah also i am new to Square slapping copyrights on every last screenshot what wHY who hurt you that you feel this need?????
Anywho! I haven’t actually discussed on this blog playing the previous two 3DS installments, tho I have them (and, yes, all the DLC, too *sweats*). Even if you’re someone who only enjoys some Final Fantasy titles or some Square titles, the music across the franchises truly is iconic and mesmerizing and worth playing, and the mechanics have always been fun.
However. ... One big change in moving from the split-screen DS family of systems to the Switch meant the developers’ decision to eliminate touch play as a mode, and I am kind of heartbroken about that and did seriously debate over that factor before I preordered. Ultimately, tho, this game is still fun and playable and I think worthwhile, esp if you’ve never played Theatrhythm before and want to jump in. So here are my thoughts...
Clearly, Square Enix wants us to know it’s a big anniversary for them, and kudos for it! Goodness knows they’ve given me endless hours of escape and entertainment. (Not to mention keeping one of my fav artists, Amano-sensei, employed doing their logos and some charrie designs.)
If you’ve never played Theatrhythm before, then know that the protagonists of the FF games are present in super-deformed sizes and, along with friends, can battle monsters in different music stages to collect a magic called Rhythmia. Collect enough Rhythmia, and you make the world all right again.
If you’re concerned about a rhythm game holding your attention long enough, I think this is where Theatrhythm shines, because your team is assembled however you like and, as they level up, develops usable abilities to trigger during music stages. You get a nice dose of FF mechanics this way, which I’ve always enjoyed. And even when abilities don’t help, you can collect items along the way.
(By the way, there was a special bonus item for release day!)
I’ve already sunk about 5 hours into the game myself, clearing the stages for FF5, FF7, and FFX-2, and I’m about halfway done with FF8; additionally, there are quests to clear at each stage separately. I’ve cleared everything for FF5 (my true beloved 💝), but it’s nice to know you can clear a stage and return for a quest when you have the right team assembled. [On that note, my FF5 charries are mostly already in the 60s in terms of lvl, and that’s without items, so...things go by fast.]
Also, I did go for the premium digital deluxe edition, so I’d guarantee all the DLC, but there’s a handy little news feature on the home screen that you can check to see what new DLC comes out and when. Neat if you want to pick and choose which DLC to add on!
All-in-all, I’m having fun, although I do think not having the touch play makes me nostalgic for the OG game and for the sequel, Curtain Call. So, if you have those games and your 3DS works fine, maybe this isn’t the game for you. But there are a few new bells and whistles (plus, the Switch’s graphics do look v nice, esp when viewing the EMS...!), and maybe you’re a collector same as me.
In closing, I’ll leave you all with a screenshot of the FF8 team when you first unlock them bc sonuvabitch, they’re CUTE AS HELL pls look at their expressions:
Squall: no. Rinoa: Yeah! Laguna: Whoa~ Seifer: I got this. i love them so much
2 notes
·
View notes
Photo
"Did you knock them out of the water?"
"Yep. One big cannonball and they were blown away." Harriet pulls on her seatbelt and picks up the phone Ty hands her. "What's this?"
"A video for you to watch. Harper wants to talk to you privately, too, but she figured her words would have more credence if she did this first."
The video is four minutes long, the thumbnail showing Harper and Masami in a seated embrace. The title is, "The Truth."
The video starts out with Harper, alone at her desk.
"Hi, everyone. I know with a title like this, everyone's going to click on it and think it's a joke. It's not. I have something I need to share with all of you. I've been lying to everyone.
"Ty and I are not a real couple. We spend time together, and go to events together, but we're not in love. We never have been. We got together as a strategic tactic. For Ty, he was tired of the reputation as a playboy. For me, I was attracted to his status. And this past year, this worked out for both of us. My follower count skyrocketed, I was being invited to events I never even dreamed up. As for Ty? He and his family stopped getting harassed on the streets. He was able to finish his degree without being accosted by women in the hallways. That's all he ever wanted—peace, and privacy.
"But things changed. Ty fell in love with someone. Someone I care about. Someone I've hurt through my actions. Someone I want to say I'm sorry to. And that's not all.
"You see, another reason I started this fake relationship, even though I didn't know this at the time, is because… There's someone I'm in love with. And I worried about the reactions of my long-time fans and followers. People started making suggestions, writing long blog posts explaining how the two of us were involved. And I panicked. I wasn't ready for the world to know about something I hadn't even figured out yet.
"For the longest time, I've been in love with Masami. But it wasn't until after I was in a relationship with Ty that she developed feelings for me. At that point, things were already working out so well for me. So I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.
"But that ends now. If you followed me because you were interested in my relationship with Ty… I'm sorry. I understand if I get mass-unfollowed. But my life isn't as perfect as I make it out to be. Even with the 24/7 streaming, there are things I hide. But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to make the people I love do that anymore.
"I want to be selfish and ask for two more things. The first is that you respect Ty's privacy. It's all he's ever wanted. If he decides to make a public statement on this, that's his choice. But I'm making this statement with his consent.
"Finally, please don't badger me about my orientation, or call me your lesbian or bi queen or icon or anything like that. All I know is that Masami is the only person I've ever been attracted to or want to be with. I don't want to think about labels, or having to be a good representation of a certain community."
"But feel free to call me your lesbian queen!" Masami laughs, poking her head in the frame. "Sorry, I got all emotional watching that. I love you—!" The video cuts off as Masami tackles Harper with a hug, their smiles squished together.
Harriet stares at the screen until the phone turns off. "It was more of an explanation than an apology, but it's a start. You wrote most of it, didn't you?"
"Some of it," Ty says, eyes on the road.
"Mhm? You wrote the line—let's see, what was it? Oh, right, the girl Ty fell in love with."
"Actually, it was Ty fell in love with someone. No mention of a girl. Could be a man for all you know."
"Are you going to tell me you love me, or do I just have to hear it secondhand from Harper?"
"Oh, you mean the way I heard that you love me?" He pulls into a parking spot and nods towards the restaurant. "Let's go. You can tell me all about how much you love me later."
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Full Circle
We've come back around at this point to the whole titles of this blog and why it was created. Last year was rough. I suppose this is the year in summary post I referenced on Facebook, so here we go.
Last year, all of the following that I can recall (but certainly not limited to) all took place in the same year.
- Hand was forced and had to get a used car after spending thousands on my old one to try and keep it.
- Took more responsibility for my current living situation where we have had to deal with employment lapses.
- Multiple occurrences of work related mental anguish
- Facebook account hacked and tried for months to recover it with no luck
All of this is just off the top of my head. It was rough mentally and financially mostly. Typical life stuff. Nothing crazy, right? Sure as hell felt heavy and this is just the stuff I can remember. A few of these have carried over into this year and it just won't do. This is a new year and I have new goals.
To be forgotten, ignored, unheard, no one wants this. Not from anyone in any relationship capacity. How many times can you be ignored, stonewalled, or kicked while already down before a person says that's enough. The exit strategy isn't always easy. I'm all for mental peace but it truly isn't as simple as sometimes people make it out to be. Give yourself a timeline. Be honest with yourself. If things didn't change over the course of the last few days, months, years, what is your real shot of it changing? It could change down the line, but you're left "holding the bag" as they say until people figure it out...or worse, don't ever figure it out.
You shouldn't ever subject yourself to this kind of torture or abuse. I'm putting that out there because why sugarcoat it? While I will say there is good to be had in many scenarios and/or lessons to be learned, eventually there's a turning point. You have to go because you just can't take any more. It's never personal. Heck, say it's you, not them if you must...but you know damn well it was them. I'm all for fighting for what you're worth but as you continue down a path where things are stagnant, you start questioning yourself. What are you doing wrong? Probably something. Is this a human mistake that can be corrected, or does it become a bigger ordeal? Does it prevent growth? We all want to grow, right? This blog is all about refusing to go hollow and frankly, it had to be pointed out to me to realize how bad it actually was..so here we are.
Let's shift gears. If you're with a loved one and they forget you all of a sudden, that sucks, obviously. This happens to Freya in Final Fantasy IX and she has to live with that pain. Is it the same or worse if someone knows you're there, but just doesn't acknowledge you? No care for your feelings. No touch. No affection. Nothing. Is that much different? I'd say not or make the debate it could even be worse. While I won't be the judge of one struggle vs the other here, the overall point is, in a state where you are indeed forgotten, it is gonna take a real strong bond to repair what is in shambles or broken. There has to be effort however on both sides. If one gives it all and the other person isn't hearing it, it's time to walk quicker than it takes for Mike Tyson to knock you out in Punch Out!!. For the average person, this is probably less than a minute for context, since he will one shot you. Three punches, TKO. Done deal. All in less than a minute and the in game "seconds" are quicker than real seconds. In short, GTFO (get the fuck out).
Sometimes, a healthy relationship can't be had no matter what you do. You can fight all you'd like. It won't matter. Cut your losses and set yourself free again. Whatever that may take. When your own thoughts start to scare you, that's a clear sign. Whoever or whatever is keeping you, it's time to burn the bridge and never look back. It's not fun either, to tell so many different versions of the same tale of fighting against what isn't right for your mental being. The issue is there is so much stacked against you. I implore you to make sure you have the right people in your corner. There is a ton of value in this and what you may need to push past troubled times. A good therapist is also a huge benefit, in person or online. The choice (and power, as I hear) is yours. Tell someone you love them today.
If forgotten, do you feel valued? If so, it might be worth fighting for. If you do not, take the hint. Adios.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have sat at my desk staring at my keyboard for the last twenty minutes
as if it will change a thing
I feel envious of others whose writing seems to be second only to breathing for them
how every time they sit to write they fill pages with wonder that I can only dream of
how long have I sat here erasing these lines over and over again?
it’s not that I do not have the drive, the stories, the passion
but when I sit to write it’s like everything is stuck behind this impenetrable dam
I do not know who put it there or why the wall is so high but I constantly feel like I’m on the verge of flooding
I’m one good rain away from overflowing
to finally be able to put every thought I have into words
but it never quite overflows
it fills and fills and fills
you swear you can almost hear a cracking noise in the cement
dams were never built to hold this much
yet it does
I’ll write out whole stories in my head
plot out characters and scenes and love and betray
I’ll think of all the witty dialogue I could give my characters
and the subtle foreshadowing I can leave
but the second I’m at my desk it’s like every idea I’ve ever had is on the fritz
I’ll try to outline my thoughts but the ideas get garbled and end up half-baked
I sit at my desk wanting to scream because I’ve read all the tips for getting over writer’s block
I’ve read every blog titled “15 tips to get over your writer’s block”
I’ve done the words vomits, taking a walk break, outlines, and talking it out.
can it even be considered writer’s block if you were never even able to start?
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
fuck-logic-vd
FuckLogic
screwpolice10
제목 없음
princessxo33
fo eva evaa
bsbl-diamond-dawgs
Untitled
obsessedlesbi4n
sissy lez