#i love that it is always just a little damp actually. it adds character

[draculasfavoritewife]

No Word For Hero

Summary: You love him and the way he will always be your protector, but sometimes facing the truth is the most terrifying thing of all.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Warnings: Nightmares and discussions of death. The one-two punch of angst and fluffiness all in one. This one is a fair bit more somber than my other Mando stuff.

Another trope I will never ever get tired of -- the "having a nightmare while sleeping with your partner" routine! 🥳 Gets me in my feels every time, particularly with a character like Din who (to me at least) canonically also has frequent nightmares. I first drafted this one a couple summers ago as a result of all my feelings after that big moment in "The Marshal", as I'm sure will be obvious.

*Translations of less common words/phrases in Mando'a at the end

It's coming, exploding up from beneath the billowing sands, looming over everyone, titanic, monstrous, ravenous....

...He turns to you, ever so briefly, tilts his head in that meaningful look you know all too well...that damn look that means he's going to play hero again.

Damn his altruism.

When is he going to stop?

You already know that answer, too. It lurks forever in the back of your mind, awake or asleep, always whispering there, a constant venom ever deepening its grasp around your heart until one day the cold reality finally breaks it.

He'll stop when he finally doesn't come back to you.

When he's at last granted the warrior's death you know he desires.

Only then.

You can't even scream as he disappears down the dragon's throat, too frozen with horror to make a sound....

You bolt upright, gasping for breath, damp hair clinging to your face and tears running down, their salty tang sharp on your lips.

Stupid nightmares.

"Go away," you mutter, rubbing harshly at your eyes. "Just stop."

The cot is small, realistically much too small for two adults, and your distress is painfully evident to the man sharing it with you, whose arm has just been violently dislodged from its place around your torso.

"Bad dream?"

He sounds tired. He hardly ever sleeps through a full night at the best of times, and even then it's rarely a deep sleep.

If the old saying "sleep with one eye open" were actually true, Din would be its personification.

You curse your overactive mind a second time, for disturbing his precious few moments of rest along with your own.

"I'm fine." You don't lie back down, instead pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms tightly around them. Normally you find his quarters chilly, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins makes the room suddenly feel close and stuffy.

He shifts against you in the dark, no doubt to study your posture. "You don't sound fine."

You sigh. "I will be. You should try and get some sleep, Din."

You hear him lean back into the wall, a long exhale betraying stiffness somewhere in his muscles.

You've offered him the side of the bed that's not right up against the wall, but to your surprise he actually likes to be pressed closely between your body and the solidness of metal at his back.

You suspect it gives him a sense of security in a life that holds so little for him.

"I'm sorry I woke you," you add before he can speak again.

"You didn't." His revelation is cool and distant, as if his lack of rest means nothing to him. "I haven't slept at all tonight."

You turn to stare at him in dismay, only to be met with the void of deep darkness. "Why didn't you --"

"What? Wake you up to tell you I can't sleep?" Somehow you know he's shaking his head at you. "That fixes nothing, Cyar'ika. My sleep was disturbed since long before we met." His voice softens as he reaches for you, his large, comfortingly familiar hand stroking down your side. "But when I have you in my arms, listening to your breathing, I can at least find some peace. And that is often enough."

You let out another shuddering breath and gaze out into the dim compartment, the images from your nightmare replaying over and over behind your eyes like a holovid stuck on loop.

"I think I need some air," you murmur.

"Take my shirt, then." You're grateful he doesn't try to stop you; he knows you were taking care of yourself for a long time before you two struck up your partnership. He trusts you to look out for danger.

"Vor'e, Cyare." You slide from the bed, his fingers trailing away from your hip as you break from his gentle touch. He watches as you blindly take his shirt from the pile of clothes left on the floor and pull it over your head, pausing only to grab a vibroblade before exiting his quarters.

"I'll come back," you promise softly.

And the words sting deep down as they leave your lips, knowing that one day, one of you might not be able to keep that promise.

The night is cool and clear on this planet, and the breeze smells like living growth from the thick woods nearby. It's a far cry from the dust and smoke of so many of the worlds you've stayed on before, and soon you start to calm down, heartbeat returning to normal and perspiration drying at the wind's light touch. Everything is peaceful around you, the night birds calling and water flowing somewhere behind the trees.

Not for the first time, your thoughts stray towards the impossibility of trying to stay somewhere like this place, to drop everything you know and carve out a life on a frontier planet somewhere. You and Din and Grogu, living modestly and secretly away from the prying eyes of the Imperials or the Jedi, pretending at normalcy....

There's the key word.

Pretending.

You've played many parts since you lost your buir so many years ago. Dancer in the clubs of the Core worlds, thief, animal wrangler, pilot, hired gun. You could adapt, you feel fairly certain. It's the skill that's most reliably kept you alive this long.

But Din....

He's so deeply entrenched in his upbringing. His honor, and the hunt, mean everything to him. Whatever else he tries to be, he will always be the Mandalorian first and foremost. The Way runs through his veins, thicker than blood, and the fierce heart of a warrior beats beneath the beskar.

It's why he will ultimately always make sacrifices to keep those under his protection safe.

It's who he is. His identity.

The reason that one day he might not emerge from the belly of the beast in triumph.

And you love him, exactly the way he is. You'd never ask him to change.

But Maker, sometimes the knowledge of what that means hurts deeper than any physical wound.

So you stand there at the edge of the woods and let the tears come, let the sobs wrack your body as you bury yourself deeper in his comforting shirt, praying that the day never comes that all you have left are memories and clothes that smell like him.

Eventually, your grief runs its course and you can breathe once again. The crunch of footsteps in the damp grass warrants a side glance, but as you thought, it's only your beroya, come to check on you, no doubt.

"You've been out here a long time," he remarks.

"Had a lot on my mind."

He encircles you in his arms from behind, chin resting in the dip of your shoulder. You're surprised that he didn't replace his helmet to come out here, but sunrise is still a long way off.

"I'm usually the one with the nightmares," he teases softly. "This one must have been rough. Want to talk?"

You find his hands at your waist, interlock your fingers with his.

"I lost someone. Someone very important to me."

Turning slightly so you can rest your cheek against his, you kiss the very edge of his lips. "It scares me, Din."

He's quiet for some time, and you try to imagine the expression on his face.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispers. "I can't give you anything but my word that I will always try my hardest to come back to you. That is what fuels me, ner'kar'ta. The fire in my blood, the strength in my bones, is knowing that I need to make it back for you. But I realize that it is a double-edged blade. Because it also means I would give everything, to keep you safe in the end."

"I know, Din. I remember what my buir used to tell me, you know, how we have no word for 'hero' in our mother tongue, because to be Mando'ade is to risk all for the ones you love. I know I'm so selfish." You turn all the way around at last, hiding your face in his bare chest. "But I accept your vow. And it will have to be enough."

Collecting yourself and finally raising your haunted gaze to his, you manage a small smile. "But I will fight for you, Din Djarin. Death will find one hell of a struggle when it finally comes for you, I can promise you that."

"There's my girl." The fond grin in his voice is audible. "Now, will you come back to bed? It's getting lonesome in there."

You let him lead you back to the ship, and the sigh of the wind now seems to promise to whisk your fears away for the time being.

The door slides shut behind you, and you shiver, realizing all of a sudden just how cold you are. His shirt is a welcome barrier against the biting chill, and you wonder how he was able to get along without it outside.

"Cold?" he asks.

"Yes." You reach out for him, wordlessly begging for his warmth.

He sidesteps you and folds his arms across his chest. "Take it off," he demands, and indicates the shirt with a nod, husky voice brimming with humor and a shade of something hungrier. "Or I will."

You hug the worn fabric closer to your body and shake your head mutinously. "But it's the only thing keeping me warm!"

"So you've chosen the hard way." He crosses the small space in a couple of long strides and starts to tease the garment off of you, bit by agonizing bit. "And how dare you let a piece of clothing do a man's job."

"You're making me cold again," you complain as he pulls you into bed with him, the hunter retreating back to his lair to finish off his fortunate prey.

"Then honor dictates I repair the damage I've caused," he hums, and you surrender to the bliss of being completely enveloped in his embrace. Din has always run hot, ever since you started sleeping together, and his warmth and familiar weight are so much better than any sweet dream of yours could be.

In the here and now, he's still alive, and he's still yours.

There will be no more tears tonight.

"Better?" he growls into your throat.

You run your fingers through his thick curls, sighing at the way he always manages to banish all of your dark thoughts away. And maybe now there will even be time for him to get some sleep before morning as well.

"I am now."

Vor'e = Thank you

Buir = Parent

Beroya = Bounty Hunter

Ner'kar'ta = My heart

Mando'ade = Child of Mandalore

#din djarin #x reader #the mandalorian #bounty hunter #romance #mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #female reader #sentimental #favorite tropes #nightmare #comfort #star wars #self insert #a bit sad #bad dreams #soft din djarin #angst #hes so lovely #im not crying you are

[plantinghobbies]

The Same Damn Thing - Part 3

Haven’t read the previous parts? Catch up here!

@solipsisticno1 and I are so grateful to everyone who’s read and supported our little Valentine’s collab that has (to absolutely no one’s surprise) taken almost the entirety of February to get three parts done. But we are halfway there! Hope you enjoy!

Part 3: “…I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s” - Taylor Swift——————————————————————————————————

Val avoids him after that, volunteering for work trips no one else wants. A day here, two days there add up to weeks before she knows it. It’s harder when she’s in the office but not impossible. She’s the first out of the conference room after a meeting, flying out the door with her nose in her phone in case he follows her. And the last one there at night, only leaving her office after she knows he’s gone for the day. She’s subsisting on non-perishable foods for lunch and is shocked she hasn’t developed a UTI from holding it all day but both these bleak realities are better than the thought of being alone with him again. Of the whoosh in her stomach as it drops when she sees him, the heat that pools seemingly everywhere at the thought of what almost happened. What did happen.

Before she knows it, it’s May and her mum is texting her to ask whether she’s coming home on the 24th. Val dreads the day each year. Not the actual anniversary of her sister’s death (though that’s the worst day of the year) but the one where she disappoints her parents again by saying she won’t be there with them to relive the worst day of their lives. It’s not that they’ll be alone - her aunt always comes down and Val’s cousin who lives in town stops by - but she knows it’s not the same. The first year she had tried, but everything in her told her it wasn’t where she needed to be. After they went to bed, Val had thrown her bag in the car, driving until her mind subconsciously brought her back to the last place she’d felt close to Marin - physically and metaphorically. The calm that engulfed her when she stepped onto the damp grass of the courtyard felt like a relief and a selfish indulgence at the same time. 

Ever since then, Val had come back to campus every year on the anniversary, making up work trips and last minute emergencies to avoid telling her mom the truth - that being home with them didn’t bring her anywhere near the comfort that being there did. That the best times of her life were at uni that year.

The 24th dawns with a bright sun and cloudless sky. There’s a slight chill in the air as Val catches the train to her destination, wrapping her hands up in the long sleeves of her jacket. It’s not even 7:30 when she makes it to campus, wanting to avoid the Saturday early birds at the farmers market that wasn’t there when she was in school.

Lying down in the grass under her favorite tree, she tries to remember the bits of advice she picked up in the grief group that she’d gone to for a few months. Use the day to remember old memories, but also to make new ones, your loved one is always with you. (Val’s not sure that she believes that but  she has pictured Marin standing beside her during particularly difficult times over the years and it has helped). 

Flashes of memories play against her eyelids - Halloween when the whole group had dressed up as Mario Kart characters, complete with little cardboard cars that had been left in a pile by the dumpster of their favorite bar after they couldn’t squeeze into the booth with them on. Marin’s face when Val had given her her secret Santa gift - a limited edition of Mary Oliver’s first collection that Val had spent three months saving every penny she had to pay for (worth it).  Matty’s and Marin’s drunken duet of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, cackling when Matty’s voice cracked around the high notes, his indignant claims that he was sick, not just shit at karaoke. 

The memories transport her back, so vivid that Matty’s voice sounds like it’s right next to her. 

“Val? Val, you ok?” A hand wraps around her shoulder gently and she bolts up to sitting, throwing an elbow out on instinct that catches the offender with a low “umph.” It sounds familiar. 

The “fuck me” he whispers lowly confirming what she already knew. A part of her wants to keep her eyes closed - to continue to live in her memories instead of face the reality in front of her. Out of sight, out of mind. 

“Ummm listen I didn’t mean to….” No such luck. 

Her eyes peel open slowly, blinking against the heavy sun. Sunglasses would have been smart. He’s crouched in front of her, one hand on the ground to balance himself, the other resting on his knee (the bad one. Val remembers the brace he had to wear for weeks after he twisted it trying to learn football tricks to prove he was better at it than James). 

“What are you doing here?” The accusation in her voice isn’t intentional but he reacts to it, steeling his shoulders and leaning back away from her. 

“Same thing you are I reckon.” A smile pulls at his lips before he seems to think better of it and tugs it back in. 

Of course, the one year that she is actively trying to avoid him, they end up here at the same time. She’s not surprised he had the same idea, he always did like ceremony. “Do you, umm, do you want to grab a coffee? Talk? Or not talk?” She is surprised by the invitation, her behavior over the last few months wasn’t exactly hospitable. But then again, neither was his. 

He looks lost, eyes sunken into heavy bags as he gazes up at her through his lashes. She wonders how long they’ve been there. His fingers twitch around a cigarette the isnt’ there. She shouldn’t, she shouldn’t, she - “Uh yea, sure.” Clearly he’s retained his ability to charm her into doing things against her better judgment. 

They walk to an old haunt where he used to sing at open mic nights, the destination unspoken between them. It’s only when they’re sat face to face, steaming mugs between them, that she realizes the mistake she’s made. Her other interactions with him since the incident (as she’s taken to calling it in her head) have been short, work-related, no direct eye contact or conversation needed. 

It seems it’s dawning on him as well. Matty traces the rim of his mug and then clears his throat.

“I uh I -“ He mutters something under his breath that sounds like “Christ man” before continuing “Uh, how’s the rest of your day been?”

Val snorts as she looks up at him but he beats her to a retort “Fuck me, I’m sorry, dumbest question ever. Don’t answer that. I just - I don’t know what to say after - “ 

“Don’t.” It comes out sharper than she intended. But she can’t think of that night, of what Marin would think. Not today at least. Maybe not ever. 

They’re plunged into silence once again. Matty fidgets and crosses his leg, knocking the bag over that Val hadn’t noticed he’d been carrying until now. 

“What’s that?” She knows he hates small talk but chickens out for safe ground. 

“Baby onesie from the bookstore.” Her eyebrow arches, eyes flitting between him and the bag. “No, not what you’re thinking. Not for me. For the kid. I mean, not for my kid, I don’t have one.” He’s always been cute when he rambles. Fuck. “It’s for James’ baby.” 

Her surprise must show on her face. “Oh I didn’t realize he had one?” 

“Yea, just a few days ago. He and his husband - he’s a great guy, you’d like him. As patient as you’d imagine you’d have to be to put up with Jay.” His voice bears no judgement though it’s clear he knows that she hasn’t kept up with anyone beyond perfunctory texts.  It’s not that she’d gone out of her way to cut ties. But after she’d transferred schools, it became so easy to pretend she was someone else - someone who knew what they were doing, someone who didn’t pine after a guy who didn’t want her (at least not in the way she wanted). Someone who hadn’t lost her favorite person (people, really). She liked that version of herself - confident, detached, focused - more than the sad, lonely, and depressed reality that she was trying so hard to hide. And her friends would have seen right through her. So she kept them from seeing. 

It’s the odd silence that draws Val out of her thoughts and back to the table. Right, Matty had been talking about James. “Aaah so he hasn’t slowed down with age?”

The smile he gives her then is small but warm. “Nope, far from it. I think the older he gets, the more frantic he gets about the number. Trying to squeeze as much wild shit in as possible. I mean, it’s crazy but life is short, you kn-

Val watches as he pulls up, looking for all the world like he wanted to shovel the words back down his throat. Eyes flitting everywhere but her face.

“I mean -“ On instinct, her hand is covering his, not able to see him anxious even after all these years. 

“Matty, I think we both know.” 

He cocks his head at her hand, and she pulls it back. Aware that it’s the first time they’ve touched since That Night. 

“Can we talk about something else? Please.” God she’s a prick but after a morning spent solely focused on sad, she needs some relief. Hopes he won’t mind. 

He snaps his jaw shut, clearly taken aback with the desperation in her voice. “Uh, yea, course. I’m sure it’s tough to think about today…” (Truth is, she could talk about Marin all day. Matty and Marin, that was a different story). 

Eye contact seems to be hard for both of them, each flitting around for something to distract from the heavy intimacy that has settled over them. God, why did she say yes to this. Their relationship - she indulges herself with using that term to describe it - is one third rail topic after another. 

And just like so many times before, Matty throws her a lifeline. “Did you hear that I’m still office snooker champion?”

The laugh she barks out startles the sleeping baby at the table next to her, both of its mothers sending her death glares as the hiccuping cries begin. “What the fuck? How’d that happen?”

A cheshire grin settles on Matty’s features as he leans in conspiratorially “Fucking cheaters. They got Dawes - he was judging, remember? Well they got him drunk and then kept fudging the score. Someone caught them and turned them into the party police.” 

Val settles against the back of her chair, crossing her arms. “It was you, wasn’t it?” 

His laugh sends a spark from her ears to her toes. “Now what would give you that impression.”

“Besides the fact that I saw you bring Dawes four rounds of shots?” 

“I think you’re mistaken.” 

“Even if I was, there’s no one else who cares enough about that competition to go through the trouble of reporting that.” Matty’s eyes narrow as she points at him, following the path of her fire-engine red nail. “Except you.”

The grin he was trying to suppress earlier breaks free. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She’d missed his mischievous look, like the cat that swallowed the canary.

“Oh well my mistake then.”

“Too right.” 

Another memory.“You remember when Daisy tried to impress that guy and ended up needing to replace the whole top of the snooker table at Shea’s?” 

“Oh my god - and we all nearly went broke because of it. Who the fuck knew felt could cost that much?” Matty says, raising his mug to his lips before realizing it was empty. He sets it down gently, looking between his mug and her forehead (he’s struggling to look at her, which would offend her if she wasn’t also mesmerizing his hairline right back). “Umm I’m getting another. You want one?”

The line had grown substantially since they’d come in, giving her plenty of time to observe him as he waited with their mugs. More time than she allowed herself at work, always worried about people’s noses stares and misguided assumptions about their relationship. There’s that word again. Time had been good to him, preserved his boyish good looks but filled them out, added a little ruggedness that was laughable when she thought back on how posh he’d grown up. Matty had struck up a conversation with the woman in front of him (of course he had) and not for the first time, Val wonders what he’s been up to since uni. Who he’s been spending his time with, the information that she can’t get from LinkedIn and the abandoned social media accounts she found one night after a few glasses of wine. He was always charming but watching him try to pull (she assumes, the woman looks like his type) now, she can see the quiet confidence that wasn’t there all those years ago when they sat in this dingy coffee shop, splitting pastries for lunch to save cash so they’d be able to buy more drinks at the pub later. That time seems like a million years ago now.

Val wishes that she could have outgrown her crush on him like she’d outgrown so many other things from that time. She didn’t need to flirt with the barista for free leftovers at the end of the day, could afford the good gin instead of the rail shit that was so bitter that she had to chase it with fries. Adulthood had changed a lot - but not everything. Her eyes still find him in any room they’re in, her laughter still bubbles up at his dark jokes, and her heart still stutters when Matty’s lips twitch into a soft, familiar smile when his gaze catches hers. Like it is right now. Fuck.

It’s not even worth pretending that she wasn’t staring as he makes his way back over, her eyes tracking his moves as he weaves around student’s backpacks and groups of friends huddled around a table meant for just two. 

“Jesus, that took forever.” Tea dribbles over the lip of the mug as he passes it to her. 

“Well, seemed like you enjoyed the company while you waited.” It was supposed to sound teasing but comes out with a hint of possessiveness that she hopes he misses. “You get her number?” Great save, Val. 

Matty cocks his head at her comment, that knowing gaze of his back in full force. “Um noooo. She asked if I’d been here before, couldn’t decide between the sticky bun and the chocolate croissant. I told her to go with the sti-

“Sticky bun” they chime at the same time. 

“Exactly. Told her she should go with that unless she liked the taste of stale poo in a dry diaper. Then the croissant would be the obvious choice.”

“Ewww” Val’s nose turns up at the visual. “I can’t believe she was charmed by that.” 

Matty’s eyebrow perks up. “Oh, she was, was she?”

“Fuck off, like you didn’t know. They could probably see the bedroom eyes she was giving you from bloody space.” 

The shirt he’s wearing rides up as he crosses his hands behind his head, subtle flex in his biceps. “Well, looks like I still got it.” 

Doesn’t she know it. Flashbacks of the incident erupt behind her eyes. His hand up her skirt.  His filthy words. His fingers as he sucked them clean of her. No no no no no.

Attacking his ego feels like safer ground. “Yes, congratulations, you can still pull undergrads.”

Matty opens his mouth to retort but then looks around, clocking the other patrons as if for the first time. “Jesus, was she that young? I can’t tell anymore.”

The same thought had occurred to Val every year she’d come back here.  “I know, right?! I feel like we were younger at that age.” She risks a glance up at him, finds his warm eyes focused on her. “If that makes any sense…” 

“Yea, I get it.” Matty always seemed to get it, to get her. 

Val isn’t sure if it’s the familiar surroundings or the memories that they unlock, but as they talk, the tension that laced each word when they first sat down is easing. Enough that she remembers the man in front of her, the kind of person he was. Is still probably. She’s flooded with feelings, confusing ones that have her heart in her throat, but also comforting ones, friendly ones, nostalgic ones. She missed this. Missed him. She wonders if he feels it too. 

A comfortable lull settles over them. The half-empty sugar packet spills onto the table as she fiddles with it. For the first time since they reentered each other’s lives, it feels easy to talk to him. 

She takes a deep breath, “Listen, I -“ 

Just as he starts to say “About that night -“

Their words collide and they fall silent again. For the first time in she doesn’t know how long (yes she does), the fog of loneliness that followed her around like an imaginary friend had lifted. She felt lighter, the world a little less gray. She wanted to hold onto that feeling and he was going to fuck it all up. What would she even say?! Oh, that night? You mean the one where I almost exposed my years long lo- CRUSH - on you? Came on to you? At our workplace? Mistook your concern for interest, like I always have. That night?! Nope, no memory of it at all. The feminist in her - who sounds an awful lot like Marin - screams that this isn’t a completely accurate characterization, it taking two to tango and all. But Val’s also a champion at self-criticism - Olympic gold-level really - and she’s the one who’d drunkenly started it. She can’t blame him for trying to finish it, even if it was a monumentally stupid idea. 

The tension was back. She needed to get control of the conversation. “You first.” Always a gentleman. A good man. Someone she needed to have in her life again, even if it’s not in exactly the way that she wants. 

“I was going to say, I uh I missed this. Us.” Her chair scrapes as she sits up with the force of gathering her courage for the next part. She’s spent almost ten years rehearsing her next words, in texts she never sent. The words tumble out of her before she can lose her nerve. “I’m sorry I was such a shit friend back then - “She throws up a hand to silence the retort she knows is on the tip of his tongue. “No, just don’t. I was, even if I had a good reason.”

He sits back, palms up in response. “But I’m here now and I’d like a second chance at it. Being friends again…..if you’ll let me, I mean.”

The breath she takes gets stuck somewhere around her ribs, probably because her heart is in her throat. Please Matty. I need this, need to feel like I haven’t fucked everything in my life up. I still haven’t figured out exactly how to be around you but I’m trying. Just give me time. I promise, nothing that you have to go to HR about.

She used to be able to read him so well, curses herself once again for the distance between them that makes understanding his expression now impossible. Matty hasn’t taken his eyes off her, squinting his right eye as if looking for something. 

Val’s just about to word vomit something out onto the table when he clears his throat, putting her out of her misery. “Yea, uhm, I mean, yea. Course we can.“

Relief is palpable, she understands that phrase now, her shoulders sinking down from her hairline with his words. Thank god.“Good. Then I won’t feel bad about telling you that I forgot my wallet and I need you to buy me a sticky bun.” 

His laugh, she thought, that’s what she’d missed most of all. 

#matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 #matty healy

[cosmos-coma]

Hey!! I really love your writing! All witcher characters are very much on point, it’s amazing😍 i would have an idea for a Lambert fic if you don’t mind! How about reader is very much interested in learning from the witchers and hunting down monsters herself but Lambert is just very overprotective of her and thinks she’s insane for risking her life but in the end reader actually saves Lambert’s ass?? And they get together after that and it’s all fluff?? You can add anything to it, i love your Lambert!💜

Beasts and Books

A/N: Aww, thank you so much! I've been worried about my characterization- especially of Lambert, but I'm so glad you like him! and Okay, so fair warning this isn't edited like my other ones usually are and that's because I got carried away and wrote the longest one shot of my fucking life lol. I hope you enjoy it!!

Pairing: Lambert X Reader

Words: ~4k

________________________

Years ago- back when you were growing up in Velen, you actually started out as a farmer's daughter. Your mothers worked hard, taking care of the sheep, shearing them, and weaving the wool into yarn or bolts of fabric. You had been placed in charge of raising the lambs, rounding them up, and generally keeping them out of trouble. It was a lot harder than it sounded. 

They often fought with each other or knocked over their milk buckets and seemed to do everything in their power to get you just that close to selling them and being done with them. But you knew your mothers would never allow it and so you grumbled and just kept on.

But it was the lambs actually that happened to change your life too. It had been raining all morning and you had almost finished feeding the lambs when “Hold on- One, two, three, four, five- Where is number six?” you questioned, looking to the rest of their little faces as if they’d even have the manners to answer you, let alone the vocal cords. 

You scowled, hiking up your skirt as you stepped around in the muck, trying to find a sign of the tiny little lamb that got loose- the youngest of the batch this year. “Ah-hah!” you exclaimed when you spotted the trail of little hoofprints that slipped past the gate. He must’ve slipped through the fenceposts- he always was good at using his size to his advantage.

“Come on, lamb! I’m not gonna do this all day!” You followed the hoofprints into the forest nearby, prints few and far between as he must’ve been having the time of his life evading you. “Baaaa!” he let out a little bleat from just beyond the shrubs before you.

“Gotcha!” you grinned and popped your head over the shrubs, finding the lost lamb chewing on a rather damp book. “Well now, what have you gotten into?” You asked as you scooped him up, another bleat escaping him as the book fell away from his mouth. It looked like he’d found his way into an abandoned camp. There was a cold abandoned campfire and evidence of a bed roll flattening down the lengthy grass; you found bits of broken leather here and there- probably from someone doing repairs. 

“Looks like whoever it was left in a hurry…” You commented, ignoring the lamb who was now more interested in chewing on the ends of your hair than anything else. You flipped open the worn cover and read the title of the book aloud, “Brother Adalbert’s Bestiary… huh” 

“Y/N!” You heard one of your mothers call from the house; she must’ve come to check on how you were doing in the rain and not seen you in the lamb’s pen. “Coming, Mother!” You shouted in her direction and quickly scooped up the book before trudging back towards the house. 

Once you got back home and finished up with the lambs you parked yourself right in front of the crackling fireplace, drying both yourself and the book as you carefully flipped through it again and again, reading as you dried out its pages. 

‘Ghouls, nekkers, wyverns, barghest, the list goes on and on’  you thought to yourself as you skimmed through the pages, despite having been out in the rain it wasn’t as damaged as you thought it might be, even the notes lining the margins of each entry were still legible. You flipped to the beginning again to make sure the pages were dry when you came upon a little mark on the inside of the cover. It was a little sketchy and messy, but it looked like a little drawing of a wolf head next to the Letter ‘L’.

That was then- now you were a little older- still a farmer’s daughter, but now you were responsible for hunting monsters. You were no witcher, that was obvious- but you still made do. You had studied that bestiary until you knew it like the back of your hand, you saved up all your money to buy yourself a rinky-dinky set of armor and an old sword. You started small- fighting only what you knew you could take on; barghests and ghouls mostly- occasionally you attempted to help rid the swamp towns of bloedziuger, but you had yet to get down the speed you needed when they exploded into acid. 

You ran your fingers over the dappled scaring on your arm, a testament to when you had started out on this path you had chosen. You had used your smarts to set traps for your monsters to make it easier for you as a regular human, earned some good coin, and invested that into better equipment. Now you had a good custom-made silver sword, a sturdy but light set of armor, and were beginning to save up for a good horse too. 

“Alright Miss, this is as far as I’m taking you.” the cart driver had said, pulling his mule to a stop  in the middle of a small village. “You can walk the rest if you really need.” he kept watching you expectantly as you hopped off the back of his cart, making sure he didn't see the few apples you had swiped into your bag. 

“Yeah, thank you…” You murmured and handed him a few orens from your satchel to which he grinned and nodded his head. 

“Much obliged, Miss…” He tipped the edge of his worn-out hat and continued off down the road. 

“Yeah, sure you are…” You let out a sigh and stretched your legs, before heading over to the notice board. “Let’s see what we’ve got here…” 

You glanced it over, seeing mostly trade notices, but it seemed that there were a few notices you could actually fulfill too; wolves had attacked the livestock of one house, while wyvern seemed to be picking up the sheep of another one nearby. Probably were getting bothered by the same monster, but you figured you'd check them both out to be safe. 

You glanced around the town as you stood- it smelled overwhelmingly of animals and stove fires, but your nose had become so used to those over the years that it hardly struck you anymore. A few old women sat out in front of a house, idling and chatting in the late afternoon while chickens clucked and scurried around the streets openly. You guessed there would be a few more hours of sunlight left, so you probably had time to start your investigation before it became too dark for you to see. 

You set out to the other side of town to investigate the wolf contract first, figuring yours get the easy things out of the way first. 

And Thankfully it really was only wolves that were bothering this farmer and you were able to finish up the contract just before the night began to really fall. So you headed back to the local Inn, coin enough for a room now in hand, and maybe even enough for dinner too if you negotiated right. You were fortunate, you knew, that you were completely human- After all, it meant that people almost always treated you better. You didn’t have any problem with nonhumans, in fact, in this line of work you had even met several pleasant ones you'd like to see again- but you also couldn't ignore that you benefited from the way others treated them. 

It had just become fully dark when you came up outside the inn, torches along the road lighting your way back. When you came to the town square you heard a man trying to talk to one of the older ladies you had seen before. 

“Hey, you. Yes, you Miss. Where the hell are all the notices for witchers? I thought this was Velen- you guys always have some sort of shit going on for us to solve.” he said, sounding rather obnoxious as even his horse seemed to huff in protest. 

After grumbling something about ‘kids these days’, she motioned towards you, “apparently you’ve been beaten to it, Mutant. And I thought you witchers were supposed to be faster than us humans…” She snapped back at him with a smug look on her face. 

The man quickly turned to you and now you could see his yellow cat-like eyes and the scar running down beside his right eye. He had worn but rather unique armor and twin blades strapped to his back. 

‘Nope. I’m not dealing with this right now’,  you thought to yourself and quickly slipped inside the Inn. You went up to the innkeeper first thing, getting a room for the night and what little food and drink you could afford with the rest of your coin. Thankfully the witcher still had yet to come inside yet so you tucked yourself in a corner to eat and read by yourself. 

You opened up the bestiary as you ate, looking over the entry on wyverns. You had read this entry over dozens of times, but you didn’t want to risk missing anything that could help you later. 

“One room for the night if you will.” The man from earlier asked, now at the innkeeper's table. 

“Afraid we’re all out of rooms. She got the last one.” The keeper said as he threw a thumb in your direction. 

The turned to look and you were sure he swore under his breath at the exact moment you did before his face twisted into a frown. His footsteps were quiet as he came over to your table, setting his swords down. “So first you take all my contracts, then you take my room. Who the hell are you anyway? You don’t even look like a witcher, you look more like a wannabe knight.” He said callously. 

“Wow, quite the introduction. Are all witchers as charming as you Or do you have them all beat?” you retorted flatly, not even sparing another glance up at him. “It’s just my luck I  guess. My luck and your getting fucked.” you added, chucking a bit at your own rhyme. 

A wicked grin crossed his face and he leaned in closer, chin resting in his hand. “Oh..? You’ve got a bit of a bite in you, huh? I’m Lambert…” He introduced himself.

You looked at him, giving him a quick once-over with your eyes before you cracked a small smile his way and nodded. “I’m Y/n.” 

“Y/n? Well, now I have a name for all my problems. So what’s got you so enwrapped that you can barely look up at me? It’s gotta be pretty good because I’m- Hey, I know that book.” He reached over and took it from right in front of you. 

“Hey!” you yelled and went to snatch it back, but his witcher instincts made him far faster. “That's mine-”

“Where the hell did you get this?” he seemed a lot more serious now as he held up the book and looked back at you, suspicious eyes looking over your face to see any indication of lying. 

“I found it in the woods years ago, its Mine-” you went to emphasize again, but he interrupted you once again.

“No. No, this is mine.” He stated and opened up the inside cover, pointing to the little wolf drawing and the ‘L’. “This is me. Lambert of the school of the wolf. I lost this thing ages ago. I didn’t think I’d ever find it again.” 

You sighed as you watched him look over it with a level of care that was reserved for that of something like a childhood friend. This was the book that had shaped your life up to this point, but…. If it belonged to someone else, isn’t it only right that they have it again? You’d read that thing forwards and backward anyways, what more will it be able to tell you? 

You let out a small sigh but kept quiet as he flipped through the pages when he paused for a moment. “Wait- this note isn’t mine… Neither is this. ‘Afraid of bees and will actively avoid established hives’ , ‘bad climbers. Easy to trap in pits and kill, but will become feral in their attacks. Keep out of reach.’ “ Lambert read aloud, looking from entry to entry at the notes you had written in as you learned. 

“These are… yours? Did you… use this book to become a monster hunter?” He asked, looking at you in a mix of wonder and confusion. “You’ve got to be fuckin' insane- why would a human ever want to become a monster hunter?” after a half second of thought he handed the book back to you, which you brought to your chest possessively. 

“You said it yourself, Velen always has shit going on for you guys to solve. I grew up here and it's turning into something that’s almost too dangerous to live in. I wanna change that.” you shrugged it off as if it was nothing, but what you did held great importance to you.

Lambert was quiet for a moment, something that you gathered was probably unusual for him, as he seemed to take in your words. 

“But-” you started, trying to shift the topic and lighten the mood a bit. “How about to make up for stealing your book and all your jobs I let you stay in my room with me. You set up a bedroll in front of the fireplace or something.” you grinned a bit as you offered, watching his face turn from something serious into a charming smirk that you could feel draw you in a little more than you'd like to admit. 

You two spent the rest of the night chatting and throwing quips back and forth at each other, and before your drinks were done it felt like you had known each other for decades. There was a layer of sarcasm over much of the vulnerability there, but you could see past it easily. 

When you two made it up yo your room for the first time that night you discovered that the one bed the room had was actually a lot bigger than you had thought it would be. There was easily room for 2 people to sleep and still keep a bit of distance if they wanted. 

“Hey, Lambert?” you looked back at him as he came to the door, “not to be too forward, but would you like to just share the bed? I can keep to my own side if you can.” you posed to him and set your stuff down on one side. 

“Sure as hell beats the hell out of a bedroll.” He smiled and dropped his stuff on the other side and began pulling off his armor.

Your brain became like fuzzy static as you watched his tunic ride up through the motions he went through. The thin strip of skin and the distinct line of the ‘V’ his pelvis made was all you saw, but it was all you needed too. 

“Don’t tell me our little monster hunter is getting distracted…” he said smoothly with a little chuckle to his voice. 

Your blush glowed like a radiant lamp and you quickly turned away to snuff out that burning flame. “I just- well. You don’t want your armor on for sleeping? Isn’t it safer that way?” 

“What- are you gonna stab me?” he moved to lounge out on the bed, putting his arms behind his head and exposing his midsection to you again. 

“Well- I. No, of course not.” 

“Well, then I should be fine. Are you just gonna stand there all night?” He said with a huge grin, patting the bed beside him. That bastard knew exactly what he was doing.

“Shut up” you looked away and quickly and quietly got down to your tunic and underclothes. You climbed under the warm covers and pulled the blanket high around your shoulders. “Are you gonna sleep above the covers tonight?” You asked, rolling over to face him and pushing your hair out of your face. 

A smile came over him when he looked over at you, it was softer than the others he had offered you tonight and a little more sincere as well. “I’m gonna be up for a little while. You know us Witchers, we don't really sleep much.” He shrugged and ran a hand through his already pushed-back hair. “Don’t you worry about me, you get some sleep…” 

You struggled to hold back a yawn as you nodded in agreement. “Goodnight, Lamb.” you mumbled before drifting off into a sound sleep.

“Goodnight, little monster hunter…” the witcher mumbled quietly as he watched your sleeping face. He hadn’t felt this… soft sort of feeling before. Something that felt so deep and so real it almost scared him to admit he was feeling it, but as he looked down at your sleeping face he felt ease wash over him. How could you throw yourself into such a profession? Didn’t you know the risks? You even had the choice of it, unlike him…

“Mmph…” you mumbled out as you shifted in your sleep, reaching out for something that wasn’t there. 

Without a second thought, Lambert put his arm in the way of your reaching hands, smiling a bit as your hand naturally found his and you held his arm close to you in comfort. 

“What am I gonna do with you..?” he mumbled into the quiet night once more.

When morning came you woke up to an empty and cold bed, but you weren't sure why that seemed to hurt for some reason…. But within minutes your witcher had returned with breakfast in hand.

“So, we’re hunting a wyvern?” Lambert asked as he handed you a plate. 

“Good morning to you too.” you remarked with a smile, “looks like. We can prepare after breakfast?” 

And so you two did, when breakfast was finished you two gathered up your things and made for the stables. 

“Here, you can ride on the horse. I’ll walk- I hate trying to follow a creature's trail on horseback…” he justified as he helped you up, hands on your waist as he boosted you up. 

“Thanks, Lamb… lead the way?” you smiled down at him, grabbing the reins. 

You two made your way to towards the last house on the way out of town, looking around for evidence of this wyvern and following the blood trail towards what you could only guess would be a nest. 

“So, look-” Lambert started. “Why don’t I just take this one? You know how tricky these draconids can be.” He offered, looking up at you to see your reaction, but it wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for. 

Your brow furrowed and you shook your head. “What? No. I’ve taken monsters on my own before so why should this be any different?” you argued. “No, If you want we can fight it together, but I'm gonna be there either way.”

“Look- I get that you’re supposed to be a monster hunter and all, but why would you want to go ruin a pretty face like that? Why don’t you just keep yourself out of trouble?” he sounded a bit less hypothetical now and a little more like an argument.

“So you think I’m pretty?” you asked with a smirk, trying to turn the topic of conversation. You really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. You’re a monster hunter! And even though you’re still figuring things out you didn’t want it to stop you.

The witcher only sighed at your response. “Yeah, I do…” his words drifted off a bit as he slowed to a stop, his horse automatically stopping beside him. “Hey, I’ll be right back, okay? I’m gonna go take a leak before the fight. First rule of being a witcher you know”, He said and headed off into the thicker brush, his somber tone resonating in your mind. 

“That cannot possibly be true.” you laughed a touch and watched him go, sighing a bit, but taking the moment to get your things ready, bombs and potions from the recipes scribbled in the back of the book. 

But it was taking quite a while for Lambert to come back…

“Come on, Lamb! I’m not gonna do this all day!” You shouted, feeling a sense of Deja vu as you called those words. You waited around a few minutes more until you heard an exasperated and pained cry coming from far off past the brush. 

“Damn it, Lambert!” you yelled as you processed what he had done and stirred his horse into motion, tugging its reins towards said noise. You were angry, to be honest. I mean, did he just think you couldn’t do it by yourself? Did he think that because you were human you couldn't fight like he did?  The thoughts alone made your blood boil and your skin grow hot and itchy as it was whipped by the wind. 

When you finally came onto the scene you saw Lambert rushing around on the cliff's edge, battling the aged draconid all by himself. You practically threw yourself off the horse and into the fight as you came in close. “Damn it, Lambert! You lying bastard!” you yelled and drew the Wyvern's attention to you now as you stabbed your sword into its tail. 

“Don’t yell at me, it was for your own good!” He yelled back as he cast Igni, vying for its attention to come back to him. 

“My own good? You sound like my bloody mothers!”  

“Sweet Melitele, I did it to protect you!” Lambert shouted, looking to you instead of the wyvern now and dropping his guard. 

“Lambert…” you sighed, breath coming out in heavy huffs as you fought off the creature. But you didn’t get the chance to say anything more before the annoyed creature whipped its tail at the witcher and flew off with the last of its strength. 

He had jumped back in just the nick of time but unfortunately didn’t realize how close he was to the edge. With one foot on stable ground and the other about to step off the cliff’s edge, his body's momentum had him off kilter and about to topple over….

“Lambert!’ you yelled and ran towards him, grabbing him by his sword’s sheath strap just in time and yanking him forcefully back onto safe ground. You stumbled backward to safety and landed on the ground right beside your annoying witcher. 

“How’s that for ‘I did it to protect you’?” you huffed in an attempt to catch your breath, nudging Lambert with your elbow as he processed that he had almost died. 

“Holy shit….” he muttered, reaching unconsciously for your hand- much like you had done just the night before. 

You set your sword down and put your hand out to find his. “Lamb… while I admire you trying to protect me I don't want you to become overprotective. I love doing what I do- after all, I chose this path. And I know I'd love it more if I could work side-by-side with you” You looked to him as you talked, watching his expression turn sincere, but not uncomfortable. “I’d love to learn more about monster hunting from you, but don’t count me out just yet, okay?”

Lambert nodded, a smile forming over his features as he squeezed your hand. “I suppose it’s the least I can do since you saved my life… How about we finish off this wyvern together?”

You nodded, a grin spread across your face once again. “Together.”

_________________________

Taglist: @open--till--midnight @writingmysanity @dark-academia-slut @madamemelancholysstuff

If you wanna get added/taken off the taglist or if I've made a mistake just DM me and let me know!

#yesss i love a good lambert #i hope you enjoyed it! i know it might not have been everything you asked for but i got really passionate. #Lambert #witcher lambert #lambert imagine #The witcher #As always im usually thinking of Game!lambert #but you can imagine him however #tw3 #Lambert x you #Lambert x y/n #Lambert x Reader #Witcher self insert #self insert #the witcher fic #the witcher fanfiction #Request me anytime!

[tenten18282]

Thank u for your Doubt comic it had me actually sobbing at 2 AM, my sleeves ended up damp from wiping my face so many times haha. OK OK but I love?? Your depiction of young Time/Mask?? Like my actual first contact with Zelda was reading the ocarina of time manga which depicted oot Link as a cheerful kid so when I stumbled upon linked universe (which I adore but still) I was just like ??? at Time's more "serious jaded veteran" characterisation bc it was so off from what I imagined him to be like haha.

Plus I just don't find his adult self as interesting as his child self but there's SO little content abt child Time, so ur little links AU really hit my soft spot (besides little time being less jaded and having a brighter outlook just makes his tragedy hit that much harder haha) AND ITS NOT JUST THAT BUT ALSO how, despite Time looking like a kid and being more cheerful, u still add all these lovely glimpses into the side of him that he keeps hidden, which has been aged and hurt and simply *changed* by his adventures, with behaviours that aren't childlike at all (how used he is to hide when he is hurt, his fear of being alone and forgotten, how intimately he understands others' grief)

Time is my fave Link if me rambling all over your asks didn't give you a clue haha, BUT ALSO! WIND!!! I adore how you completely flipped things and made wind the oldest of the kiddie Links!! Bc he's usually the baby of the chain and I just love love LOVE how you flipped it around, how it just perfectly fits him bc he's the only Link who's also an older brother in the canon text and now he can use his big brother powers on the other three

Ik u said Wind is kinda intimidated by Time, but in your comics it really feels like he has a special connection to Time bc like! Wind knows Time's legend and now is his friend, so it's like Wind is the perfect person to see both what Time has achieved and who Time is as a person if that makes sense? and as such would have more tools at his disposal when trying to understand Time and end up knowing him best—which imo Time really needs someone like that, poor bby is always caught in-between and never quite belonging anywhere

Anyways this got away from me haha tl;dr is that I love your art and your comics and your characterization and you :D thank you so much for sharing!! Have a lovely day!

AH! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS!!! also its completely okay to send long-form asks like this…. I love reading opinions and thoughts… its fun and I also took screenshots of this ask for safe-keeping…. thank you….. Shockingly enough, I made this comic to be a comforting story!!! I originally did not expect so many people to be sad or touched by it in such a way, it was very surprising… I think i just have a different criteria for what i consider sad…. haha... I wish I could continue with stories like these but comics take longer for me than usual…. I've been told i should make a blog to write down my thoughts on these characters and this AU as I do have a lot of them, and I also actually really do agree with a lot of what you're saying right now! Originally, I thought of this concept as a way to bring a smaller form twist of the LU characterizations i've enjoyed a lot … which is why i say it's an off-shoot of Linked universe, as these versions of Time, Four, Wind and Rulie will become the LU heroes in the future to me… also i just want them to hang out and have fun ha

I have a lot of thoughts on what you mentioned, and would like to elaborate on what i think while also just talking about it in general, so i will put down a "read more" so as to not make it difficult for other people to scroll through this blog.

I find myself seeing the Linked Universe iteration of the hero of time to be a character who's at the end of their development… someone who's fully come to find a resolution to what they've gone through and is now somewhat at peace, especially after meeting the hero of Twilight. Child time is the initiation of this period of darkness for him; yet despite him going through so many adventures he's still very much a child- I doubt he has the tools or abilities to fully process how cruel fate has been to him. He's still an odd-ball of a kid who's still cheery…. I think that the true tumult of his life reaches his peak just when he reaches his 20's not right when he finished his adventures, so younger time is someone who i really wanted to write and draw…

Besides, I don't think he genuinely focused much on the horrors of his adventure at this current time of his life, and probably even had fun at some points. I always saw him as the kind of optimist who down-plays these horrors… Since he's always been placed in the pedestal of the hero of time, I think he's used to becoming someone who's very dependable! While he has his friends Deku scrub, Mikau and Darmani, they can only do so much for him… Which is why i do think pairing him up with these young heroes will do him well! He finally has others who truly get it… I feel like even if he's a bit cryptic over what he's seen and found in his adventures (His hero friends only seem to think he has four transformation masks…) he'll soon learn to be more at peace with it, and start unpackaging his feelings on it…

(unrelated) It also kind of translates to how I view his masks in this au. While Time has healed them of their worries and let them be at peace through the song of healing, I also believe in my eyes that time himself is one of the MAIN reasons the masks truly haven't moved on, because if you play the elegy of emptiness, there's four statues you play to, link being one of them… to the masks he's the only one left who needs to heal and Link is not allowing himself that… so they're in a state of half-consciousness where they can vaguely communicate to Time, who's the only one who can truly understand them (Much like how the happy mask salesman comprehends the masks' emotions, I just like the idea that Time picked up this empath ability from using the masks so much... I also imagine that if the others put the transformation masks on, it wouldn't work).

Time treats the masks with complete respect because to him they're his close friends, people who have seen almost as much as him, they've been through the adventure as well… they're actual tangible proof that his adventure happened, and mattered… It goes to say that having your own consistent group of companions be masks is not very healthy- which is why the masks are happy Time has found more friends. (see "random conversations" for context.)

I also noticed i put a lot of focus on the hero of Winds as of late, but that's because I feel he's quite underutilized… He's a really emotionally mature, smart kid who's also one heck of an older brother! The way i see it is that Wind being intimidated over Time is less so of fear and moreso of realizing that the person you've been equated to your entire adventure by a lot of people is standing right there. It's originally an intimitading feeling, that is later translated into intense older brother worry; Wind most likely expected this capable adult who was untouchable, but the reality of it really frustrates him… He's at a loss on how to address him, either as a respectable fighter who's very well his predecessor, or someone who's is younger than him who shoulders too many responsibilities. In the end, his older brother insctincts kick up…. but he doesn't want to disrespect Time by implying he's incapable so he's quite conflicted. He finds a middle ground eventually. To me, Wind is Time's perfect successor, I find the dynamic they both share to be really interesting. I always imagined wind to be rebellious of the legends and destinies as he's quite an oddity compared to the other heroes, so he definitely tries to help and connect with time, who in the other games somehow becomes a symbol of the legends themselves. He just wants to help Time, someone who's slowly sinking but refuses to acknowledge it.

#misc thoughts #thank you for this ask! #it gave me the perfect opportunity to elaborate a little on what i think #send more lololol (joking) #Yhoh

[krethes]

@wolfstarmicrofic July, Day Five: trinkets

Oh look more firefighters.

C/W: Fire, non-major character death, grief, other hard emotions, hurt/comfort, and very NSFW.

"It's hard. Normally I'd, you know, give you advice or something, but you've been doing this about as long as I have, and... I get it."

Remus sighs and tips his head back onto Sirius's shoulder. They're spooned together on Sirius's couch, and one of Sirius's strong arms is draped over his waist. Netflix stopped playing their binge of the week over an hour ago, and their cocktails are now watered down by the melted ice. They've been given the evening off after a very very bad call, an executive order from Chief Moody, and while some of their team went to the local bar to day drink, Remus and Sirius took the opportunity to be together, alone.

"I just..." Remus swallows thickly and shuts his eyes, inhales nice and slow. Sirius smells like cedar and sage, and it's quickly becoming his favorite scent. "My mother collects those little trinkets. The Christmas ornaments. She loves them. Says the little baby Jesus looks just like me," he adds with a soft, sad laugh. "But she... She wouldn't go back for them. I don't understand."

Apartment fires are always chaos. There can be upwards of a hundred people to get out, and so many ways to go wrong. Like the roof that collapsed, right as a little girl screamed that she couldn't find her mother.

Remus, Sirius, and Lt. Potter found her under the rubble of the roof, a crushed box of half-melted nativity figurines in her hands. Remus himself carried her out before, had put her in the triage car, and...she went back. Not for her child, who was safe. Not for her dog, who was safe. Not for money or baby photos or... anything irreplaceable. Those stupid Christmas trinkets.

"Panic makes people do stupid things," Sirius murmurs against his damp curls. "We can't save everyone, Remus. You know that."

"But I had saved her!" Remus insists, his voice breaking. This is the hardest part of the job. Not the running into danger. Not the heat or the burns or the gruelling shifts. This. Losing people. People who have no reason to die. People who have people who need them. He feels a piece of him break off, and then his restraint splinters.

Sirius hugs him tightly from behind as the first sob wracks his body. "It's okay, it's okay," he whispers when Remus tries to apologize. "We're not made of stone." Sirius holds him until the tears subside, and though the back of his neck is wet, Remus doesn't comment on it. "Come here," Sirius coaxes, and Remus rolls to face him.

Like this, they're ill-suited for the couch. Remus owns one that's long enough for his 6'5" frame, but Sirius's is a standard sofa, and their knees knock together. Remus fits his thigh between Sirius's legs and rests the other one on top of Sirius's, interlacing their bodies together, and already feels better for the new closeness. Sirius closes the short distance between them and kisses him. It's their first actual kiss all evening, and Remus can feel the tension melting away from his body, replaced by a warm surge of emotion and longing.

"Our first time isn't going to be on my couch after a bad call," Sirius murmurs against his lips, confirming Remus's suspicion that he can totally feel and recognize what's fattening against his hip. He kisses him again and threads his hands through Remus's hair to hold him close. "Well. Maybe."

"We shouldn't fuck," Remus agrees breathily, but he's unable to stop his hands from roaming over Sirius's shoulders, mapping his body. "But we could..."

"Yeah?" Sirius asks, his breath hitching when Remus's fingers dip past the front of his waistband. "You're sure?"

"I'm not overthinking it," Remus reminds him gently. He works his hand into Sirius's drawstring pajama bottoms and bites his lower lip when he takes Sirius's cock in-hand. "We're not going to fuck." He's reminding himself more than Sirius, because suddenly the thought of being filled and fucked until he can't even remember his own name is very appealing.

"Right." Sirius nods and plucks at the knot holding Remus's bottoms up until it gives way. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

Remus knows he won't, because he doesn't, but nods and lets Sirius maneuver them until Sirius is on top, his bottoms kicked off to the ether. Remus looks down and spreads his legs without conscious thought, prompting a fond laugh from his boyfriend.

"We're not going to fuck," Sirius says. Blushing, Remus tries to close his legs, only for Sirius to stop him with his hands. "Nuh-uh. I like you like this. You fit better on the couch, anyway."

"Excuse me for being appropriately sized," Remus teases, knowing full well that he is far from that. Sirius isn't short. He's a perfectly respectable six feet, but it's fun to rile him up. It pushes those sticky, shadowy emotions back into the corners where they belong.

"I'll show you appropriately sized," Sirius mutters darkly, but there's a gleam in his eyes that makes Remus's heart beat faster. Sirius tugs on Remus's bottoms until they slide off over his hips, and palms Remus's cock through his briefs.

Remus groans and shuts his eyes tight, breathing in through his mouth to keep from losing himself in the overwhelmingly addicting scent of Sirius's shampoo and body wash.

"Look at me, Remus." When Remus cracks one eye open, Sirius tuts. "I want you to see what you do to me." That does the trick, and Remus can practically feel his smug pride when he opens both eyes and looks down at Sirius's dripping cock. "We're not going to fuck, but..." Sirius rolls Remus's briefs down to free his aching dick and leans back onto his thighs to take his own in-hand. "Your rules don't cover this." Sirius slowly starts to stroke himself, and Remus can't believe he's getting to watch this.

He's dreamed about it (obviously), and has thought about what Sirius looks like when he comes, well...a little too early in their working relationship to probably be appropriate, and now the reality is literally in his lap. "Touch yourself for me, Remus."

Remus's hand drops to his cock before his brain can even properly process the command, and he bucks into his own fist at the first pass. "Oh, fuck," he groans. His eyes start to flutter closed, but Sirius makes a noise like a growl and Remus keeps them open. "This is okay?" He doesn't want to take advantage of their shared occupational trauma, doesn't want Sirius to feel like they have to do this now when the emotions are so heavy.

"Remus," Sirius says in that growl again before crashing his mouth against his in a biting kiss. "It's perfect. Fuck, you're beautiful. Look at you. How are you real?"

Remus would laugh if he wasn't so turned on. Him, beautiful? Please. Especially when compared to Sirius! Instead, a low whine builds in his chest, not a noise he's used to making or hearing from himself, and watches Sirius...watch him. He splays his legs a little further and picks up his pace, rolling up into his hand with every pass. "I'm close," he admits when he realizes that he is, in fact, on the precipice.

"Good. Show me what you look like when you come."

It unravels him, and with a deep groan, Remus comes, his back arching up off the couch a little and his hips fucking uncontrollably into his fist until the last of the tremors pass. He's made a mess of his shirt (and Sirius's), he can't help but notice.

"Remus, Remus, look at me," Sirius pants, and Remus looks, sees his face flush a gorgeous rose pink, watches his perfect mouth drop open in what has to be the sexiest moan Remus has ever heard in his life, and watches Sirius spill over his hand and onto Remus's ruined shirt. Nothing else matters in this moment, not with this little proof of beauty in the world panting above him, looking like he's just had a great fuck, and if that's just from his own touch...

Remus feels like he should say something, the ghosts of relationships past rising up to haunt him to say he needs to talk more, he needs to make himself emotionally available. But when he tries to force words out, Sirius silences him with a kiss, shushing him softly. "Words later. Nap now."

The tension trying to rebuild in his overactive brain snaps, and Remus laughs. "Nap sounds good. Not here. Your couch is lumpy. C'mon."

"Carry me?"

"You're literally on top of me."

Sirius rolls off to land (quite gracefully) on the floor between the coffee table and the sofa and grins. "Carry me?"

"You are..."

"Your boyfriend whom you lo- whom you...your boyfriend!"

"Yeah, I am." Remus gets to his feet and pulls his clothes back on, laughing and shaking his head. His legs are a little wobbly after his orgasm, but he manages to haul Sirius up and over his shoulder nonetheless.

"Not like this!" Sirius squawks.

"It's a fireman carry. You're a fireman. You asked to be carried," Remus says simply, laughing under the barrage of swats and pinches to his arse.

They fall into bed in another tangle of limbs, fitting together easily now that there's plenty of room, and Sirius's ire dims with each little kiss. "You okay?"

Remus nods and bumps their foreheads together gently. "I am now. You?"

"Yeah. It's...easier, with you."

"Yeah." Remus closes his eyes and just holds Sirius for several seconds. "You make me feel... Safe? Understood?"

"Heard," Sirius adds. "James... I love him. He's my brother. I'd do anything for that man, but he's...a lot more resilient, I guess. He's always been there when I need him but I always feel like I should be more like him, I shouldn't let this shit hit me so hard, what's wrong with me? But you...you make me feel like it's okay to feel things. Not that James-"

"I know. He's a saint," Remus says, stopping Sirius from going into an unnecessary defense of their Lieutenant. "You make me feel the same way." He wonders what else they feel the same way about, but tucks that away to unpack later. They've only been dating less than two months. He can't be in love yet, it's too soon.

But, as Sirius nods sleepily and burrows halfway under his body to shield his eyes from the midmorning sun streaming through his blinds, Remus thinks he's well on his way.

#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #my fics #firefighter au #18+ #read the content warning #wolfstarmicrofic #trinkets #microfic

[wilderat]

fbi special agent dale cooper arrives in twin peaks and harry just. instantly falls in love with him. like, he doesn’t even realize it and will continue to not realize it for a not insignificant amount of time but he looks at this weird little guy with his tape recorder and his suit and his insatiable childlike wonder at the things that have long since faded into the everyday static buzz of harry’s life and he falls for it, all of it, hook line and sinker. and he sees the wonder, a little bit, too, the more time he spends with cooper—the sound of birds in the trees, the way morning fog melts away in the light of day. donuts and coffee laid out on the conference room table. the stars at night. and when harry watches how cooper looks at it all, bright-eyed and grinning like harry’s little town is the most magical place on earth, well. how could he not start to wish cooper would look at him like that for once, too?

#twin peaks #i relate to cooper because i also am perpetually enamored by the wonders of the pacific northwest. fumking TREES #i love that it is always just a little damp actually. it adds character #that’s the one thing twin peaks is missing . doesn’t rain enough #ANYWAYS IT’S 6AM GOODNIGHT. THINKING ABOUT THEM ALWAYZ. #text

[rizubaby]

Polyamory | Mondo, Leon, Shuichi & Rantaro.

genre ; nsfw headcanons.

request ; some NSFW headcanons for Mondo & Leon and Shuichi & Rantaro in a polyamorous relationship with the reader.

tags ; gn!reader, boyfriend(s) experience, polyamory, mentions of jealousy/slight competition, rough sex, praising, degradation, mentions of voyeurism, mentions of sex toys, vulgar language.

note ; since the request didn't specify, I went with a gender neutral reader to make it inclusive for all. Hope that's ok! Also, AHHH I had so much fun writing this!! I immediately got some inspiration for Mondo and Leon, so I couldn't wait to start writing! In any case, I did my very best and I hope you like it. ♡

This is an 18+ post. Minors dni.

Mondo and Leon

Honestly, being in a polyamorous relationship with these two is so chaotic omg

I mean, they love each other A LOT, but there's some unspoken rivalry between the two of them

They love you most of all, so they'll do anything to get your love and affection

It just so happens that these two can get a little jealous fairly easily, even of each other (guys, you're boyfriends. Come ON)

Both of them are show-offs, especially Leon. So when you spend some quality time with him or show him some love he'll tease the hell out of Mondo, and it pisses him off so much lmao (because he wants some love too!)

This happens a lot, mind you, but it almost always ends up with you guys having sex again lol

Even so, you're very close and in a wonderful and loving relationship

Leon's love language is quality time (as you might've guessed), and Mondo's is definitely physical touch. The guy is all over you every chance he gets

He likes slapping your ass the most hehe

Oh, and the sex is GREAT. You have nothing to complain about in that regard let me tell you-

While you do have sex just one on one with either one of them, you definitely have threesomes the most, duh

They're both very rough when they want to be, and it is so hot, but they also balance each other out wonderfully

When Leon's slowly making his way inside you (which can be quite painful sometimes), Mondo's always hushing you and giving you soft kisses all over to soothe you

Or when Mondo's mercilessly ramming into you from behind while he's pulling your hair, Leon's underneath you either playing with your nipples or caressing your stomach and planting hickeys everywhere

Like I said, b a l a n c e

They love penetrating you both at once, though it doesn't happen very often (since they're like,, literally ripping you in half)

Ooooh, blowjobs too! Imagine sucking one off while you're stroking the other, you're all hot messes by the end of it

They're both very lust-filled individuals, so there's usually not a ton of foreplay before the main course

BUT IT'S A FUCKING BUFFET

Funnily enough, the slight competition these two have doesn't translate to bedroom activities, as they're too focused on making you feel good and giving you tons of orgasms (which usually ends with them accidentally overstimulating you lol)

Leon likes to watch a lot too; while Mondo's eating you out or fucking you hard, he likes to stroke himself and watch as you drown in the feeling of pure extacy

Seriously, the faces and sounds you make is enough to make the both of them cum instantly

He likes to get himself so worked up, so when it's finally his turn he can go all out and it feels fucking amazing

Mondo loooooooves making out with you. Yeah, it's that simple

The feeling of your soft lips on his, your tongue, the soft whimpers you let out while you're kissing, fuck

When making love with you, he'll drunkily plant sloppy kisses all over you and cover your entire body in hickeys

Lots of biting and dirty talk too

"F-Fuck, you feel so damn good baby... You ready to cum for me?"

THE MOANS THESE DUDES PRODUCE ARE TOP TIER

Like seriously, you'll get weak to your knees in an instant

Also, Leon likes to cum on your face or chest area the most, while Mondo prefers cumming inside :)

Mondo is actually really good at aftercare, he's so caring and gentle (especially after some wild ass sex)

He takes good care of you and asks you every 2 seconds what you want/need

Leon likes to lay there for a little bit and recover for a bit next to you, gently caressing your face and praising you

When everybody has rested for a bit, you'll shower or bathe together (and probably fall asleep on the couch afterwards)

Rantaro and Shuichi

Such good boyfriends, awe

The amount of sappy shit these two do and say on the daily is almost overwhelming

They're like, so in love with you and with each other,, I'm soft

Shuichi is the type to take care of you a lot and helps you out with everything, be it housework, cooking (oh, you love cooking together!) or anything else

Rantaro is the type of guy to show up randomly after work with flowers for the both of you, he's so sweet

Their love languages are definitely acts of service and quality time, respectively

They both are very big on words of affirmation too; they want you to feel loved and appreciated

SUCH GOOD BOYFRIENDS OMGGHFHDSJF

Just like Mondo and Leon, they balance each other out amazingly, it's literally heaven on earth

Shuichi is very much a switch (we know this), and Rantaro is such a great soft dom

When it comes to sex, all you really do is have threesomes because you all enjoy it the most with all three of you and it wouldn't feel as good with one of you not present

Sex is often very romantic and sensual, but there's plenty of room for rough fucking as well

Shuichi definitely loves to praise you and be praised, his words are so kind and loving

"I love you so much sweetheart, you look so beautiful like this..."

Rantaro loves praising too, but when he's in the mood for some really hardcore sex, he really gets off on degrading you (but like, in a sexy way, not a mean way)

"Who are my little naughty sluts, hm~?"

Rantaro has a really broad spectrum of kinks, he's into a lot of things

Whatever you're into, he's ready to go

He owns a few toys, so if you're comfortable with that he'll add some extra spice in the mix every now and then

(So watch out for being tied up or having a vibrator stimulate you until the batteries run out)

Though the sex on it's own with these two is already fucking incredible

Shuichi is such a pleaser. He'll do anything for you; eat you out, caress you, kiss you, edge you, etc

Overstimulating you is secretly something they both love to do, so be prepared for that

again, the SOUNDS THESE TWO MAKE-- *faints*

Rantaro's raspy grunts and Shuichi's soft moans are so fucking good together, my god

You always always ALWAYS have at least three orgasms when you have sex with these two, because they just love seeing you writhe and squirm afterwards

Rantaro loves cumming inside your mouth. God he's so naughty we love to see it

Shuichi doesn't really mind where he cums, the sight of you enjoying his seed anywhere is already enough for him and makes him weak to his knees

Aftercare is so wonderful with these two, omg

You'll all be snuggled up against each other and kissing each other lovingly after another intense lovemaking session

They'll keep telling you how much they love you and that you did very well, you mean so so much to them

Rantaro usually takes care of you and Shuichi after a particularly rough session, getting some towels and a damp cloth for any scratches/bruises/etc.

I mean, those rings are bound to leave some marks, especially when he's been very rough

He'll get you some water too (because hydration is important!) and then come back to cuddle up next to you again, slowly drifting asleep in each other's arms.

#danganronpa smut #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa v3 #dr1 #drv3 #mondo owada #leon kuwata #shuichi saihara #rantaro amami #mondo owada x reader #leon kuwata x reader #rantaro amami x reader #shuichi saihara x reader

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

So, in a post you said we were free to send asks regarding the relationship/interactions MW had with certain characters. I will deliver.

What's her relationship like with each of the Shamans, or just the Shamans in general

JUMPS AROUND AND DANCES AND PRANCES AND FROLICKS SO FANCILY THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS !!!!! MWA MWA /PLATONIC im so sorry it took me so long to get to answering this I HAD TO FREAK OUT BC I DONT NORMALLY GET ASKS YAAAAY YAYAYAYA!!!

OKAY OKAY UM. im gonna be going in order of each Shaman we meet so Waterbaby first ! Which is good bc i like her :)

without futher ado, lets go!!! ^_^

(note: i drew stuff for all of the shamans but tumblr is really mean so if any of the previews come out wrong, you know who fucked up.)

Waterbaby & MW

Waterbaby and MW get along super well, actually! Despite what little interactions they’ve had in canon, I like to think they go way way back to when MW first got to Centaurworld via The Rift and started learning magic :) I’d liken their dynamic parallel to Horse and Wammawink (in a more familial sense than anything else, though.) Waterbaby offers genuinely good advice at times, and also tells stories a lot. MW isn’t much to talk, and enjoys the stories she tells. (Also Waterbaby likes making her food when she visits the houseboat)

And she’s a good should to cry on too when things prove to be to much for MW to bear.

(TL;DR I FIRMLY BELIEVE IN MW / WATERBABY FOUND FAMILY DYNAMIC I REALLY DO IDC IF THEY INTERACTED ONCE OR TWICE THEY HAVE THE DYNAMIC OF AN EDGY TEEN AND HER MOTHER WHO IS TRYING HER BEST)

Fraternal Twin Tree Shamans & MW

Okay, these two and Judge Jacket are her two…least favourite Shamans. Judge Jacket is for a completely different reason but the twins she isn’t particularly biased towards (she’s generally a bit neutral towards them). If anything, they’re nice to hang around in silence. Nature has always been a calming thing for her, so while she isn’t fond of them, they’re pretty okay to be around in certain circumstances.

Judge Jacket & MW

Sometimes a Moletaur is your friend but being in THE HOLE brings you so much PAIN™️

MW probably appreciates Jacket’s need and appreciation for justice, but being inside of the Moletaur hole makes her want to start yelling because it’s both hot AND humid and it’s a B A D T E X T U R E ™️. if it was just HOT then it’s be fine because I headcanon she’s cold all the time. Heat is nice. Humidity, though!!! Absolutely awful. Horrible texture. She would rather be stuck in the In-Between for at least a month than be in the Moletaur Hole for an hour. Loves Judge Jacket, though! Hates the texture of. Everything. in the Moletaur Hole.

But if it were up to her and not the pressure of how damp everything feels, she would definitely talk to Judge Jacket more!!

Johnny Teatime & MW

THIS ONE IS JUST ME BEING SELF INDULGENT BECAUSE I WANT MW TO ENJOY THE CATTAURS. SHUT SHHHDGSHJMGD /POS

I wanna say that MW absolutely ADORES Johnathon. Treats him like the littlest guy and likes to spar with him because his magic is surprisingly strong for such a little man! She does wish he would come down more from the tower though to visit her in the cave, but she understands that he’s sleepy a lot. (She’s also sleepy all the time, so she completely gets it. They probably take sun naps together!)

She also does this because it’s funny and Johnathon likes to nibble on things :]

AND FINALLY MY FAVOURITE INTERACTION THAT I THOUGHT UP!!!!

Whaletaur & MW

When it comes to the Shamans, I don’t think that any of the Shamans cut as viscerally deep into her emotions as much as The Last Shaman.

…

She doesn’t like to talk about how she feels about the Whaletaur.

But if she could, there would be a lot of words to say.

——————

AAAAAAAAND THATS IT!!!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION BARK BARK BARK GGRGRGEEHRGRGEHG I LOVE DOING THIS SO MUCH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! YAYAYAYAHAHAJG /POS

okay gotta add the dni banner now 😔 y’all know the rules <333

#captain’s art log 🎨 #the captain’s rambles 💬 #YOU’VE GOT MAIL! YOU’VE GOT MAIL! 📨 #centaurworld tag! 🐎🌈 #f/o tag: the mysterious woman 💜🔑 #kin tag: Johnathon Teatime 💝☕️ #centaurworld mysterious woman #centaurworld #centaurworld waterbaby #tree shamans #moletaurs #centaurworld johnny teatime #whaletaur shaman #i have so many ideas. my brain is so full #you open up my brain and it’s a miniature version of centaurworld #that and i got big plans for MW. i gotta make a fully done piece of her #cuz the closest thing ive got is. all of my shitpost drawings of her where she’s doing balls 2 the walls bullshit #and i gotta make an actual serious picture of her #but i dont wanna <3

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Bestfriend (College!Childe x College!Reader) PART 1

note: hello! i'm going to be making an entire college au series for the genshin characters ehe. this is a pretty lengthy one so i had to cut it into two parts. i hope you enjoy!

word count: 4.4k

"Why can't I get this shit to work?!"

You checked the clock.

3:28 AM.

Great. You had a half-seven morning class with professor Cyrus, and yet, here you were. Baking cookies at 3:28 AM. Although, baking wasn't really the appropriate term for it. Maybe... burning was a better fit.

You weren't a culinary arts major; Far from it, actually. You were in a college course that needed immense analytical and critical thinking skills: Accounting. You loved your course. You were always amazed by how numbers can always add up properly if you analyzed all the transactions properly beforehand. It also gave you more patience to thoroughly understand each problem presented to you so that you'd end up with the right answer in the end.

Which is why you were so dumbfounded when your cookies looked like pieces of charcoal the moment you took them out of the oven.

You followed the recipe, didn't you? Why don't your baked goodies look like those gorgeous gooey chocolate chip cookies on the website?

That was the... fourth batch of cookies you made that night. Frustrated, you carelessly threw the still-hot baking sheet in the sink. You didn't even mind that there were crumbs and burnt cookie residue in your damp sink. Like, there were burnt cookies on your counter, on your dining table, and even on your stovetop. Why be bothered about the sink, right? You could clean it up in the morning, anyway.

"Why am I even doing this?" You sighed, eyeing how there was a bit of black smoke coming out of your oven. You opened a window and fanned it out to prevent the smoke detector from going off. You didn't need more nuances adding to your already dwindling patience.

Taking in the sight of the flour, sugar, and egg-coated workstation you had, you realized that baking just wasn't your forte. If only your boyfriend was interested in receiving his complete financial statements for the year, then maybe you'd have an easier time in thinking of a present for his birthday.

You looked at the calendar.

July 20th.

It was the day of Childe's birthday.

He informed you yesterday that his friends had invited him to go to a party the night of the 20th to celebrate his birthday, and you politely declined his offer for you to be his plus one. Of course, he was disappointed. You could notice by how his cerulean eyes drooped to the floor and how his thin, pink lips pushed themselves into a pout.

"But... You have to be there, _____." He whined, taking your hands in his.

"I know, Childe. But you know that I have to review my presentation for professor An's class. It's going to make or break my term grade." You were disappointed. You wanted to spend the entire day with Childe, maybe cuddled up in bed, eating hot pizza and watching Netflix. However, you knew how much he loved partying and hanging out with his friends- Kaeya, was it? and the other boys in their fraternity. You disapproved of his frat-boy party-going lifestyle, but you didn't want to impose, so you just kept it to yourself.

"But it's my birthday," He reasoned, voice laced with sadness.

"I know, darling. I know. We can still spend the entire afternoon together before you head out to party with your friends... If you want. You're free for the entire day, right?" Your voice faltered a bit, unsure of whether he'd accept your proposal or not.

"Mhm! I'd be more than happy to spend the whole afternoon tomorrow with you, babe. We can hit the amusement park, or maybe watch a movie, or maybe have a picnic, or..."

As Childe continued to ramble on about all the possible plans you could do tomorrow, you couldn't help but smile at him. How his demeanor changed, and how he could never seem to hold a grudge against you even if he was upset. He spoiled you so much and you wanted to let him know that you appreciate him as much as he loves you.

And... Here you were.

You didn't expect baking to be so hard. You thought that following a simple recipe would lead to a great outcome the first time around.

Look how that turned out for you. Your tokens of appreciation for Childe were there. In the sink, on the counter, on the dining table, and on the stovetop. All burnt and inedible.

"Fuck this baking thing, I'll just get Zhongli to help me before lunch." You muttered, taking off your apron and retreating to your couch. You didn't want to sleep in your bed because your clothes were still messy, but you were too tired to clean up (too pissed to even care, to be honest).

And so, you flopped on the couch and set an alarm for 6:00 AM before you drifted off to sleep, dreaming of burnt baking pans and noisy smoke detectors.

-

The annoying sound of your alarm rang in your ears like a never-ending mockery of how your life is going. Why do morning classes exist? Why do alarms exist?

You groggily rubbed your eyes and rolled off the couch, landing on the carpet with a soft "thud". You blindly felt around the coffee table to look for your phone. Upon feeling the silicone texture of your case, you pulled it towards your chest and squinted your eyes as the bright display of the lock screen glared against your eyeballs.

You opened your phone by using the passcode (0720, go ahead and guess what that means) and tapped on the green message icon to open your texts. You then quickly typed out a message for a certain history major.

[ Hey, Zhongli, mind if you help me out before lunch later so I could bake some cookies for Childe? ]

Sent 6:04 AM.

You looked up at the ceiling and waited for a while, already planning out your itinerary for the day. The ding! of your phone was heard, waking you more than you already were.

[ I don't see why not. I have a vacant period right before lunch. I'm off at 9:00 and I'm vacant until noon. Are you free then? ]

Received 6:06 AM.

You couldn't help but grin. Zhongli was so kind. He was Childe's friend since high school, and although you found him somehow... creepy because of the knowledge he possesses (Seriously, was his brain implanted with a computer chip or something?), you still considered him a good friend.

[ Thank you so much! Yeah, I only have one class today anyway. I'll meet you in front of the main building by 9:00. ]

Sent 6:08 AM.

You got up from the carpet and stretched for a bit, wincing when the small burn on your arm stung. You had a few cuts and burns on your hands, fingers, and arms because of how clumsy you were in the kitchen, but it was fine. Who doesn't fuck up from time-to-time

You headed to the kitchen to clean up. You dumped all the burnt biscuits into a large garbage bag, wiped the counters, and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Most of the mess was already gone and disposed of, and you whispered to yourself that you could probably deep-clean later that evening after reviewing your presentation.

The ding! of your phone brought your attention back, and you smiled at Zhongli's response.

[ I'll see you then, _____. I appreciate you doing all this for Childe. ]

Received 6:15 AM.

You quickly made your way to your bedroom and grabbed different pieces to throw together a decent outfit. You assumed that Childe wouldn't let you go by the time that your little date would begin, so it's best to be prepared.

You hopped in the shower and did your morning routine, making sure to use your favorite body wash, which happened to be Childe's favorite scent. You dried your hair afterwards and threw on the outfit you prepared earlier. You checked your phone.

6:45 AM.

There weren't any new messages from Childe, so you assumed that he was still asleep. After all, it's his day-off from uni. The lucky bastard got to get one whole day without lectures, and the freest day you had still required you to attend one morning lecture.

"I have to rush to McDonald's if I want to make it in time," You whispered, grabbing your bag and slipping your shoes on before rushing out the door.

You wanted to buy Childe a nice breakfast before heading to your own class. So, you sprinted to the McDonald's just a corner away from your dorm and stood in line. You ordered his favorite breakfast meal: A big breakfast deluxe set with hot chocolate, five-piece nuggets, and a side of apple pie. You also ordered a McGriddle for yourself that you could sneakily bite out of in class.

Childe's apartment was right beside the McDonald's you went to, so it wasn't any trouble reaching where he was. You checked your phone again.

7:10 AM.

Crap. Twenty minutes until your lecture with professor Cyrus. Childe still seemed to be asleep, so you decided to leave his breakfast with the receptionist, Verr Goldet. She already knew who you were because of how often Childe invites you to his apartment.

"I'm really sorry to leave this with you, Verr. But I have to get to class in twenty minutes and I think that Childe is still asleep." You said sheepishly, placing the paper bag on her counter and fiddling with the strap of your bag.

"Oh, _____, you act as if I'm a stranger!" She laughed, taking the paper bag and placing it behind her. "Don't worry, I'll keep it warm for him. Would you like to leave a note?"

"Ah, yes please!" You took a piece of paper and a pen from your bag and scribbled a short message for the ginger.

Happy birthday, Childe! Have a hearty breakfast, I got your favorites. I'll see you later for lunch, okay? I love you! ♡

You tried to make your handwriting as neat as possible, and even added a messy doodle of the man himself. Although, it did look more like a potato than the man you were trying to draw.

"How cute you are." Verr sighed, "It must be nice to feel the wonders of youth."

"Thank you so much, Verr! I really have to get going if I want to get to uni in time."

"You're welcome, _____!"

You bid your farewells and headed out of the apartment's lobby, walking towards the shuttle stop nearest to you. You had at least fifteen minutes before professor Cyrus' class. The shuttle was about ten minutes away from uni, and it would take you a little over five minutes to get to his lecture hall. While waiting for the shuttle, you quickly tapped out a message for your boyfriend.

[ I left something with Verr for you downstairs. You better get it as soon as you wake up ♡ ]

Sent 7:15 AM.

The shuttle arrived as soon as you hit send. You showed your ID to the driver and scrambled for a seat, shoving earbuds in your ears to drown out the rest of the world with a bit of music. Fortunately, the shuttle ride was quicker than usual since there were lesser stops for that day. You gave a light bow to the driver before you rushed out of the shuttle doors and bolted to get to your lecture hall.

It was on the third floor of the left wing of the main building. You were desperately trying to catch your breath as you felt a burn rising in your lungs. You wanted to puke because of how hungry and tired you felt so early in the morning, but you brushed it off.

You sprinted down the hallway to professor Cyrus' lecture hall, seeing that nearly all the seats were occupied. There were still a few vacant seats at the back, but you were glad to see your friend, Xingqiu, waving you over from the middle row.

"Thanks for saving me a seat," You thanked your blue-haired friend, fixing your hair and disheveled clothes. You sat down just in time as professor Cyrus walked into the lecture hall and began setting up his laptop to present.

"No worries. I knew you'd be late. It's Childe's birthday today, no? You've been talking about it all week. I already expected that you'd do something for him this morning." He said, not even batting an eyelash as he carefully opened his laptop in front of him.

"That predictable, huh?" You chuckled, placing your own laptop on the table and taking out the McGriddle you shoved in your bag earlier. Professor Cyrus seemed to be tweaking a few things on his presentation, so you decided to use the spare minutes to eat the sandwich you purchased.

You scarfed it down in a few bites, leaving Xingqiu confused and a bit scared. He thought you were going to choke.

"Didn't you have breakfast before you left your dorm?" He asked, marveling at how you managed to eat the McGriddle in- four, maybe five? bites.

"I mean, I bought this," You said, motioning to the crumpled up wrapper in your hand. "It was getting late since I dropped by Childe's apartment to leave him his breakfast."

"How charming of you, _____." Xingqiu chuckled, slipping on his glasses.

"I wonder if he's awake now," You mumbled, loud enough for Xingqiu to hear, but he didn't react to it.

You opened your phone and saw seven messages from your dorky boyfriend.

[ _____ you're gonna make me cry ]

Sent 7:28 AM.

[ Where are you now? Are you already at uni? ]

Sent 7:29 AM.

[ God, I love you so much, _____! You even got me nuggets!! ]

Sent 7:30 AM.

[ I love you sooo much!! You're so cute it's unreal!! Btw, is this supposed to be me?? Do I really look like that??!! ]

Sent 7:31 AM.

[ I'm so lucky to have you, _____. You really are the sweetest!! ]

Sent 7:31 AM.

[ I'll see you later at noon. I'll pick you up at your dorm, okay? ]

Sent 7:32 AM.

[ You must be in class now. Good luck!! I'm already eating. Thank you so much, darling! I love you!! ♡ ]

Sent 7:34 AM.

You couldn't help but smile at how his aura radiated even through the screen of your phone. You clicked on the notification from Instagram and it opened to a video on Childe's story. It was a boomerang of him making a winky face and then showing his meal neatly placed on his table.

There was a caption beside a heart sticker which read:

What a great way to start my birthday. Thanks to my lovely @_____. I love you so much! ♡

A familiar warmth spread throughout your chest and you couldn't help but smile at how sweet he was. It was amazing, really. Childe's words and actions always had such an effect on you, and it didn't even matter how you were the one who did a romantic gesture for him because you were here all blushy and gushy over his sickeningly sweet messages of affection.

You put your phone away as soon as professor Cyrus soon started his lecture on the different trading policies limited by oversea regulations- or something like that.

The lesson itself was interesting, but you couldn't help to nod off and daydream about your wonderfully dorky boyfriend and his beautiful eyes, his cute button nose, his slim cheeks, his pink lips.

Childe sneezed.

-

As soon as the last bell rang, you quickly gathered your things and shoved them in your bag. You nodded a swift goodbye to Xingqiu before running off to the entrance of the main building.

Zhongli messaged you that his lecture ended earlier than expected, and that he was waiting for you by the entrance already.

You saw the brunette sitting on one of the benches, a thick history book in hand and reading glasses firmly sitting on top of his nose. You noticed a few girls just a couple of feet away from him. They were eyeing him up, probably drinking in the sight of this beautifully constructed creature.

You chuckled. It was common for you to be more aware of people fawning over Childe and Zhongli. They were a couple of incredibly hot males, you knew that. You got used to the sight of other people gawking and eye-fucking your boyfriend and his bestfriend that it was just hilarious and amusing at this point.

"Zhong!" You called, earning the attention of both Zhongli and the group of girls.

"Ah, _____. Glad you're finally here." He closed his book and tucked it away in his satchel (This man owned a satchel) before he stood up to greet you.

"Were you waiting long? Sorry." You said sheepishly.

"No, not at all. I was enthralled by this one chapter on the Ming Dynasty and their more underrated feats. History never fails to amuse me." Zhongli replied, a glint sparkling in his amber eyes.

"Hey, um," You inched yourself closer to him, "Mind if we go on ahead? Some of your fangirls are scaring the hell out of me." From the corner of your eye, you could see how they were drilling holes at your head from staring too hard. You could've sworn one girl was even holding her phone up, as if taking a photo.

"What?" The taller man whipped around to look at the girls and they scurried off upon seeing the intimidating glare in his eyes.

"You and Childe really attract attention everywhere you go, don't you?" You chuckled, walking towards the shuttle station.

"Childe, certainly. He, along with his... fraternity brothers do attract quite the crowd whenever they are together. As for myself, I doubt it. I'm more of the silent-type compared to him, anyway."

"Are you kidding me?" You bit your tongue to hold back the thought.

"I see."

"Those girls look familiar, though." He mentioned.

"Oh? Maybe history majors as well?"

"_____, if they were history majors, I would've at least recognized their faces more clearly. I feel like I've seen them somewhere."

"Ah, my bad. You and your eerily accurate memory." You teased, climbing onto the shuttle and sitting on one of the empty seats.

"It is not eerie, thank you very much." He retorted with a snarky tone, joining you on the seat.

"Of course it isn't. You remember what I said to Childe when we were watching that one movie Rex Lapis: Revenge of the Fallen?"

"Indeed I do. You said, "Rex Lapis would be hot if he was a human, don't you think?" and Childe replied, "Yeah, but I could probably beat him up. I'd be way hotter than him." It was comedy, really. Rex Lapis, although a fictional figure, has far more capabilities than Childe could even dream of."

"Do you... not see the eerie part of that?"

"What? That Childe thinks he can beat up an actual Archon?"

"No... Zhongli, we watched that movie three years ago."

"Your point is?"

"...I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday."

"Childe bought you some sushi."

"See what I mean?!"

"That means you have a poor memory, _____." Zhongli laughed at your face curling into a frown. "Anyway, while you were entertaining me with your banter, I recalled why those girls are so familiar."

"Do tell."

"They're part of Childe's posse."

You could've sworn your heart leapt to your throat. You knew that your boyfriend was pretty much sculpted by the Archons themselves, but, really? a fucking posse?

Zhongli noticed how the lump in your throat bobbed, and he decided that it was better to calmly explain how and why he knew about it.

"See, it was during the first year of university. Childe started hanging around Kaeya and his other fraternity brothers. There was this one occasion where Childe was nearly black-out drunk in a bar. If I didn't see on Kaeya's Instagram story, I wouldn't have known," You noticed how Zhongli's face visibly darkened, "These girls were hanging off him like koalas to a strong tree branch. It was unsightly."

"I... see."

"Although he was about to pass out, he pushed them away. Charming, really. He was already crazy about you even during the first year of uni. Even though you weren't together yet, he didn't want to "cheat" on you by entertaining other females." A soft smile made its way to your face upon hearing Zhongli's confession about how your boyfriend felt about you.

"I'm determined to make these cookies a success," You said determinedly.

"Glad to hear it. It seems we're already at your dormitory. You still have enough ingredients for the cookies, right? I assume you failed quite a few times yesterday."

"How did you even know?"

Zhongli once again laughed as you stepped off the shuttle, "Lucky guess."

Unbeknownst to the two of you, three figures were following you the moment you left the campus.

-

"_____ is so sweet! They got my favorite breakfast this morning." Childe mindlessly gushed over his significant other.

Diluc wasn't really one to listen to other people ramble on and on about feelings and love and romance, but it was his friend's birthday. He'd let it slide.

"Bro, that's just gross," Kaeya spat, taking a chug of his beer.

"Oh, shut up, Kaeya. Just because you don't plan on committing to anyone doesn't mean the people around you are obligated to do so as well." Diluc rebutted, without even looking up from his journal.

"You're in college. It's the time when you're supposed to have a shit ton of flings, no commitment. And yet you're here being loyal to _____?" Kaeya glared at Diluc, but the redhead only flipped him off.

"I don't see the problem with that." Childe spoke up, toying with the bracelet on his wrist. It was a gift from you during your first anniversary. You said you made it yourself, and although Childe could purchase all the expensive jewelry and accessories he wanted, this particular bracelet meant more to him than anything.

"The problem is _____'s going to hold you back!" Childe knew that Kaeya was half-drunk and it was still before noon, so he didn't really take his words seriously. "They aren't going to the party later, right?"

"No, unfortunately. They have to review a presentation for professor An's class."

"Hah! Review my ass. If I knew any better, that little toy of yours is just messing around with some other dude."

"Watch yourself." Childe stood up from his seat. He knew that Kaeya disapproved of their relationship because it wasn't really a "frat-boy" thing, but he didn't care about that. He cared about you more than a stupid reputation, and definitely more than a stupid lifestyle of partying, getting high, and getting drunk.

"Back up, softie. _____'s pussyness rubbing of on 'ya?" Kaeya's words were slurred, but Childe knew that there was malicious intent behind them.

"Look, I don't care about what you say about me. Call me a softie? Call me a pussy? I don't really give a shit. But the moment you start shitting on my _____? Don't even consider that I'd just stand around and let them be slandered, you piece of fuck." Childe was a few centimeters taller than Kaeya, and he always used that to his advantage when he wanted Kaeya to understand his point.

"Whatever you fucking say. It's your birthday, I'm not gonna fight with you on your birthday." Kaeya lightly pushed Childe away from him before downing the rest of the beer can in his hand.

"Don't mind him," Diluc spoke, staring into Childe's eyes. "He never thinks straight, whether drunk or sober."

"Yeah, I kinda got the message." The ginger chuckled, watching as Kaeya nearly tripped over his own feet while walking towards the case of beer supposedly for the party tonight.

"I'm glad that you and _____ are still getting along. It's refreshing to see normal people once in a while."

"Well, when you put it that way." Childe could only laugh.

"Where's the tall brunette at? Isn't he always with you?"

"Ah, you mean Zhongli? I don't know, actually. He has a lecture this morning and I wanted to meet him for a light meal before lunch, but he isn't answering my texts."

"I see."

As if on cue, Childe's phone emitted a soft ding!

He typed in his password and the screen faded into a photo of you. You were wearing one of his hoodies (it was way too big on you) and he could've fainted because of how absolutely adorable you looked.

He received a few Instagram DMs from Ellin. Ellin was a member of their posse. Childe would rather refer to them as "fraternity friends", but she insisted otherwise.

[ You're seriously praising _____ for being a good partner? Poor you, dear. ]

Received 9:41 AM.

He frowned.

[ What are you talking about? Mind your business. ]

Sent 9:42 AM.

[ Oh? It's not my business, sure. But you might wanna see this. ]

Received 9:44 AM.

[ 3 Images Attached ]

Received 9:44 AM.

Childe's eyes widened. Ellin sent three photos.

The first one was a photo of you and Zhongli standing awfully close to each other in front of the university's main building.

The second one was of you and Zhongli sitting beside each other in the shuttle.

The last one was... you and Zhongli entering your dormitory building.

"What the..."

He checked his messages to see if either you or Zhongli texted him about the ordeal. However, he was only greeted by messages wishing him a happy birthday from some of his family and friends back in their hometown. No messages from Zhongli, and no new ones from you.

"What the hell?"

He quickly typed out a message for his bestfriend. He didn't jump to conclusions; He trusted both of you, but what was this feeling in his gut? It felt icky, gross, and disgusting.

[ Where are you rn? Answer me. ]

Sent 9:46 AM.

His foot tapped against the floor at a rapid pace. Diluc wanted to question him, but the worried look on the ginger's face made him bite his tongue.

Childe wasn't the type of person to jump to conclusions, nor was he the type of person to get upset immediately over trivial things. But upon receiving an irksome reply from the amber-eyed bestfriend he knew and love, his blood began to boil.

[ None of your business. ]

Received 10:05 AM.

#genshin #genshin impact #gi #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #gi x reader #childe #ajax #tartaglia #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #ajax x reader #im gonna fucking cry i love this ginger man so much #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #genshin fanfic #genshin ajax

[flickeringart]

Sagittarius Sun and Moon Combinations

Planets represent different energetic principals in the life of an individual – the signs show how these energies express themselves.

Having an inner planet (or luminary) in the sign of Sagittarius gives the personality enthusiasm, an expansive quality. No matter what other placements the person has, the energy and spirited nature is going to come through.

To simplify;

The Sun represents individuation, ideal self-expression and conscious self-expression.

The Moon represents instinct, emotional nature and personal needs.

Sagittarius Sun – Gemini Moon

This person has a difficult time keeping the enthusiasm in check. Once the ball is set rolling, it doesn’t move in a straight line, it bounces off the walls until it accidentally hits a target. The overall personality is set on being honest, but in the jungle of information one could get confused about what one’s thoughts actually are. They change so fast and move from this to that – it might feel like there’s no truth except the constant search for truth. The person would crave stimulation and be allergic to boredom. The personality would be unsuited to work that requires stamina and determination – there’s too much scattered energy living inside this individual to mobilize towards a concrete goal. The excitement of living is more important than anything that can be accomplished  – to inspire, charm and have fun is what this person lives for. When potentials aren’t actualized or when the person is forced to follow a strict path it will be difficult to find any joy. But, even in the midst of restriction, there’s a light-heartedness and a willingness to provide a spark of inspiration. The person is full of ideas and pride, anything could be an adventure if one is allowed to exercise one’s creative mind and bring some life to existence. On the down side, this person would feel disinclined to define themselves in any way. To remain in a state of potential is much preferred to concretize a stance, a need or a desire. Everything depends on the moment, what arises and what is called for with this combo. The constant state of flexibility could benefit the person but be detrimental at the same time. The effort and dedication it takes to wait for something to actualize itself through a longer process doesn’t necessarily appeal to a person with these placements. On one level, it’s as if this person isn’t registering the pressures of life, but is sublimating them, dealing with them as mental concepts rather than being squarely in the experience of them. Keeping things moving and avoiding soaking in experiences could lead to feelings of meaninglessness and futility, despite the original proclivity to be optimistic. This is a healthy state, presumably, which gives the mutable personality some depth instead of mere superficial excitement. When the person matures, there’s recognition of value in the journey, and value in information. Not to mention the recognition of power in knowledge.

Sagittarius Sun – Pisces Moon

There’s a lot of optimism and sensitivity to this combo. While the Sagittarius personality might be able to brush things off and put themselves above any petty criticism of their character, the Piscean need is to be loved by everyone. Life is not worth living if there’s not a genuine belief in love, and depending on what circumstances the person find themselves in, the dream of bliss might get crushed or kept intact. Even though the process of individuation for this kind of person is to gain confidence, a spirit of enthusiasm and trust, the person is originally prone to want to retreat into a state of non-separateness. There’s a tendency to idealize people and places, to live with a kind of bitter-sweet outlook on life. While the person would strive to always have things be exciting and to explore things outside of the comfort zone, there would be great emotional sensitivity to stimuli which could hold them back. The person would perhaps more often than not end up exploring their interests and fascinations in private – exploring the inner world of dreams and images could be very satisfying. Since Sagittarius and Pisces are universal signs, there might be an enhanced capacity to intuitively know things, to intuitively grasp complex themes and patterns within and without. Both signs hold broad and inclusive perspectives and seeks to make sense of the totality of reality through meaning and purpose. The limited and the personal is not this person’s primary concern. The essence of life is sought on a general level. There’s an awareness of the unseen, a great love affair with God and an acceptance to be led through existence back to one’s source. Although the person might go through episodes of sadness and world-weariness, the Sagittarian identity that is unfolding throughout life is designed to have faith, to inspire, to convey wisdom and adopt a more or less carefree attitude - never loosing sight of the big picture. The Piscean tendency to be thoughtful and introspective adds a nice touch of depth to the personality, and a remarkable ability to feel what is taking place emotionally on a collective level. The person lives in connection with humanity and the world more than others, always picking up on trends of the times.

Sagittarius Sun – Virgo Moon

There’s a concentration and an attention to detail in the quest for knowledge. The zest for life is paired with practical reason – there’s an awareness that extraordinary life experiences won’t just fall in one’s lap, they are put together piece be piece. The tendency is to plan, to organize and process everything, which could put a damp cloth over the desire to be care-free. Anxiety over whether everything is going to work out is conflicting with the trust that the person strives to develop. Sagittarius Suns are supposed to take on a broad vision, a perspective that allows for mishaps and bumps in the road because one knows that it’s all part of divine plan. The Virgo Moon effectively counteracts this by being aware of things that could go wrong from a more earth-based perspective. To ride a bike without a helmet could end up in a disaster or eating too many sweets could make the person hyper-active. The Virgo temperament is not designed to overlook these little things, which could make the person frustrated because the Sagittarian spirit doesn’t want to be limited by petty things. The advantage, however, is that the clumsiness and boldness of the person is toned down by a careful and hyper-aware disposition that could serve to keep them out of trouble. The friction that is created between a rational and physically anchored perspective and a adventurous and freedom-loving one can produce an interesting dynamic. There’s a push and pull between self-actualization and basic personal attributes. The need to have established routines that guarantee optimal health and efficiency has to exist alongside the process of finding oneself, the process of actualizing as an individual. As long as there’s mere focus on ritual and everyday normality, there’s nothing that sparks the self-expression. Once there’s room for excitement and pursuing an intuitive path, the Virgo attributes can come in handy putting all the knowledge into practice and not loosing sight of the importance of specifics. Both signs are mutable, so adaptability is a great strength, although stubbornness and skepticism might kick in every so often. One should take care as to not let the belief in one’s intellectual capacity cause ego-inflation. Knowledge should be used for good of all, not to enhance one’s own sense of superiority.

Sagittarius Sun – Sagittarius Moon

With the Sun and Moon in Sagittarius nothing stands in the way of pure enjoyment of life. Independence, freedom, travel, exploration, adventure – life is calling them to set out on a quest for truth, a journey of the spirit. This person would not want to settle and would prefer to keep up the speed, even in old age. There’s a tendency to live as if one has already reserved a place in heaven, free of sin, free of guilt. There’s nothing to impede or hinder this person because life itself is what is treasured, not the particular form or circumstance. On the down side, this attitude could exclude the awareness of denser emotional states, making the person prone to gloss over negativity by viewing it as a betrayal of the eternal spirit. There’s validity to the experience of limitation and lack – the denial of these is to avoid going deeper and cope by flying up into the realm of belief in eternal life. Although this person would generally be open to a multitude of perspectives, there would be a strong sense of the correctness of personal opinion. The need to preach one’s stance with force could upset a few people. There’s a censoring that could happen which would seem selfish and narrow-minded. Not to mention that there can be a scatteredness to the person’s thinking that could make their message seem insubstantial and backed by confidence rather that convincing arguments. The task is to adjust and evolve into the more refined traits of Sagittarius, to cultivate compassion and understanding for people, to uplift and inspire through genuine love of life rather than going down a path of reckless and irresponsibility. It’s good to have confidence but it should not be acquired through rubbing one’s competence in other people’s faces and bragging unnecessarily about one’s broad knowledge and insight. One should watch out for the risk of viewing oneself as superior, bossiness can hardly be labeled a virtue – it’s childish and immature. The person might not be suited to lead because of their strong ambivalent and independent streak, but I could see this combo being a great side-kick, a resource of great value that would have to be kept on ”long leash” in order to be willing to work under someone else. The person would definitely need variety and freedom to act on impulses.

Sagittarius Sun – Libra Moon

The bold and fearless self-expression is slightly modified by the need to enhance the self through entering relationships. The person naturally gravitates toward self-flattery disguised as humility. The effort to be charming, sociable and well-liked is on autopilot while the more bold and uninhibited individuality needs to be developed and expressed consciously. The person cares about how other people perceive them, for better and for worse. To develop the Sagittarian traits one might need to live from an outlook of a more general and universal standpoint, viewing social interaction as an experience on the road to truth rather than an end in and of itself. The person might benefit from taking risks by speaking their mind when it isn’t socially advantageous, to push the limits of what is socially appropriate. It might not be comfortable, but it could be worth it in order to live more from a place of freedom than restriction. The Libra Moon needs to navigate carefully as to ensure optimal social and relational esteem. Personal safety and satisfaction depends on having other people to bounce their ideas off of. There’s difficulty in merely setting out on one’s own and trusting one’s gut – everything is done within the framework of a social context. Libra is very aware of the fact that one doesn’t exist as an island unto oneself, there’s other people that contribute to form one’s own life. Being with the right people at the right place and the right time makes all the difference to who one is. There’s some validity to this perspective but it’s also very limited and superficial. By developing one’s Sagittarian expression it’s possible to transcend the personal and the social and see others as fellow travelers of the world – equally independent and valuable despite all the differences. The Libra Moon is covertly competitive, giving off the impression that they’re merely out to make everyone else feel respected and seen. In fact, to be pleasant is their agenda, to ”win” at the social game. The Sagittarius Sun however, makes the person prone to be a little arrogant and blunt which could taint the perfect impression one is trying to preserve. Speaking first and thinking later could put this person in a tight spot of quickly trying to patch things up by doing the socially appropriate thing of apologizing or compensating for the slip-ups.

Sagittarius Sun – Cancer Moon

The optimistic and casual attributes of the ideal self becomes difficult to accommodate for in the midst of mood-swings, strong emotional attachments and apprehensiveness about the ”world out there”. The natural way of coping with life is through putting up strong defenses against threat. There’s great sensitivity and need of mothering, which the person seeks to provide for themselves – either through partnership, a family or perhaps a close circle of friends. The ability to care and support others through their ups and downs in life could earn them a positive reputation of being considerate and trust-worthy. However, the Sagittarian potential calls the person to develop qualities of openness, curiosity, fearlessness and trust. A spirit of adventure is worth cultivating while having a safe base to return to when the world starts to seem too harsh and inconsiderate. Sagittarius Suns are not very keen on admitting to vulnerability and weakness, but this combo requires these states to be factored in. To live as if there’s no tomorrow and as if one is immortal and exempt from frailty is not possible to get away with. Feelings should not be viewed as an inconvenience, they should be valued for the experience they provide. There’s no use glossing-over personal and primal needs - they exist in their own right. I can picture this person as a parent, capable of being soft and gentle with the children yet ready to play and take them out on little adventures when the mood hits. It’s after all not only important to provide shelter and protection but to instill an confidence that allows one to test limits and attempting to fulfill innate potential. There’s an element of trust that needs to be cultivated in order to venture outside of the safe zone, a trust in life to be helpful rather than destructive. These signs complement each other because they respresent different dynamics, on the Cancer end there’s awareness of threats to survival and a feelings of vulnerability, on the Sagittarius end there’s the pursuit of knowledge and freedom of the spirit. Cancer is primordial while Sagittarius is universal. Literary and philosophical knowledge might not make the person feel safe, but it will be how the person expresses their individuality.

Sagittarius Sun – Capricorn Moon

If this isn’t the embodiment of the dutiful pursuer of truth I don’t know what it is. There’s a need to achieve something of substance, of greatness. The feeling of abundance is not there from the get go, so the person has to summon their resources and use them wisely as to get ahead. The person is very controlled and conscious of how they present themselves, strategically trying to get everything right as to reach their long term goal. On the downside, there’s a lot of internal pressure and inhibitions of spontaneity which would take a toll on them eventually. The path ahead is to develop the Sagittarian worldview of expansion and freedom rather than discipline and scarcity. Being spontaneous and enthusiastic about things is how the person will self-actualize. However, since the need is to stay within convention, there’s a bit of a conflict present. Ideally, the person would combine the need to achieve worldly success and the pull to live a life free of responsibilities and commitments in honor of the eternal spirit. If the person decides to follow the beaten path of prestige and societal approval, there might be an inner urge to break free from all restrictions and limitations. It might be wise to try and combine the desire to move and explore with a sense of responsibility – to seek to accomplish something ”worthwhile” according to convention while being bold and passionate about it. The inner compulsion to always aim high could pay off, or it could make the person stressed and unproductive. The Sagittarian Sun indicates that there should be an attempt of freeing energy, of overcoming the burden of judgement, of rooting for life rather than mechanical and dead materia. The Sagittarian philosophy is that life is supposed to be lived, not boxed in and deemed as unworthy because of superficial lack. All life is worthy, and there need not be any punishment that is implied by the apparent boundaries of structure. The person could have a hard time accepting a more liberal world-view for themselves that doesn’t define right and wrong so clearly. The Cap Moon is more or less tied to playing within the confines of structure, but with the Sagittarius Sun there’s the potential for introducing variety, a broader perspective and a more optimistic attitude. The structures aren’t set in place to enslave the human spirit, they should work for the expansion of all.

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Sagittarius Sun – Aries Moon

The warrior that strives to gain wisdom. The inborn personal attributes are that of force, competition and impulsiveness. The task is to mobilize these in order to actualize an identity of curiosity, independence and trust in a benevolent universe. The person might be quite aggressive in the pursuit of answers to the big questions in life, seeking challenge and confrontation with life as to test one’s capacity to prevail and conquer. There’s a lot of energy to this combo – and a lot of emphasis on independence. The person would first and foremost stand up for themselves and leave others to do the same. There’s little tolerance for dependence as quality in others and in oneself. Strength is always emphasized – this person has nothing to gain from acting meek and vulnerable. Anger and frustration is the most common response to things that stand in the way – whether it’s an opinion another person holds or of it’s a literal lack of support – confrontation is the immediate reaction. Even if the person is quick to aggression, it’s usually easily diffused and forgotten. These fire signs live in the moment and are not prone to hold grudges. That being said – they won’t back down and is set on furthering themselves in all that their doing – especially if they’re continually opposed. The Sagittarius Sun indicates that the person is supposed to seek knowledge and broaden their perspective through exposing themselves to variety of culture and thought-systems. Identity is found through sharing and consuming knowledge, through breathing life back into a world of stagnation. The Aries Moon jumps on every opportunity to excel and to be the best, providing a fighting spirit to the more casually bold Sagittarian Sun. The person would be prone to provoke people unnecessarily, always wanting to compete and lead the way. However, the expression of the fire signs is usually so direct and uncalculated that it comes off as pure, even though it’s fundamentally self-centered, At least, it is honest and relatively uncomplicated. The Aries directness further enhances the Sagittarian tendency to speak the truth no matter the cost. Not to mention, the Sagittarian proclivity to be scattered and all over the place is counteracted a bit by the simple and straight-forward Arien nature.

Sagittarius Sun – Aquarius Moon

This combo represents the peak of objective perspective. The person is emotionally separated from the irrational, moody and earthy human condition. One lives for potential and that which can be found beyond the horizon. There’s likely to be a restlessness and annoyance with the current society and other people’s limited perspective. Ordinary and mundane is so ”yesterday”, it’s a pity that one can’t be rid of the current unevolved existence and jump to the future without having to go through a long and process of unnecessary in-between states. The person is likely to be the type to hang out in the thought-scape rather than on the earth-plane. There’s a tendency to get bored very quickly and be a bit uninterested in idle conversation and interaction with other people who are light years behind in the progression of thought. The path for this person is to cultivate passion and inspired involvement in worldly knowledge – to read and educate oneself in order to get a more well-rounded picture of what it means to be alive. Sagittarius is all about spreading truth and connection to essence, while Aquarius is more about the fixed thought-based blueprint that dictates form. There’s a coolness to this person that is their fundamental nature – it’s not rooted in being but rather in becoming. Sagittarius is not cool but vibrant and alive, ready to interact with the variety of expressions of the universal spirit. The person’s task is to become through being, to find the face of self in all fleeting experiences and appreciate them as they come and go. There’s value in the brokenness, there’s beauty in the imperfect. The Aquarius Moon might have a hard time viewing life in this way, having to label and categorize and put things into context. It’s worth to consciously develop the capacity to perceive meaning in experiences, to connect to the intelligent source of life that is not found through perfection but underlying everything. There’s more to life than hacking the blueprint and getting things to work better, look better or feel better. There’s mysterious inner wisdom that is untamed and unbound, intelligently guiding one’s steps on the path of higher truth. To put in a word of caution, it might be tempting to view oneself as more important or superior than people with more primordial natures and simple minds. It’s true that people are different, but everyone plays a part in life however big or small.

Sagittarius Sun – Scorpio Moon

This is a freedom-lover, an explorer and an emotionally volatile individual. There’s a need to test, to push, to provoke while keeping all the vulnerable parts of oneself tucked away where they can’t be reached. The fundamental nature of this person is extremely sensitive to violation and feels things strongly. There’s an inner fear of being controlled or deceived to the point of paranoia. This is not to suggest that the Scorpio Moon radar is faulty and sees threat where there is none, it’s just that they can’t allow themselves to put their guard down. Ever. Through developing a Sagittarian individuality, there’s likely to be an increase in playfulness and chill, but at the core there’s always going to be suspicion. The person would want to promote the truth as a part of their individuality, to inspire and lift people’s spirits. However, the personal need for secrecy and privacy would present a contradiction. There’s an impulse to live out a destructive nature, to revel in powerful emotions and let people know that they shouldn’t be messed with. While the Sagittarian tendency is to view experiences from a ”higher perspective” of belief and philosophy, the Scorpio seeks to penetrate or be penetrated energetically. There are three choices in the book of Scorpio; being attacked, attack or hide. Although Sagittarius is bold and willing to take risks because there’s an attitude of optimism in everything they do, a proclivity to say things as they are and be honest, the person will not share things that can be used against them (if they can help it). The strength of these signs are very different, but they could potentially work together relatively successfully. The emphasis could be to make people aware of the power-holds and dishonesty that takes place underneath the surface layers of society and reality, to uncover and reveal things about others or oneself that grabs people’s attention and makes a statement. Transformation and truth is what this person is ultimately after and it could be pursued in all kinds of ways. It would be important to remember to keep the Scorpio paranoia in check and to be a little careful of boasting and inflating one’s ego unnecessarily. One has to show respect in order for other people to be willing to be respectful in turn. That being said, it is appropriate to call people out on their bullshit from time to time.

Sagittarius Sun - Taurus Moon

The path of self-actualization is to expose oneself to a variety of experiences while the personal need is to provide oneself with things of material value. The need to possess and have things be tangibly present in order to feel good doesn’t really go together with the realm of spirit. The Sagittarius Sun perceives the world in terms of higher truth – and it’s not an ultimate truth that a house provides stability. Yet, the person would need the material representation of safety and could not deny the importance of the physical realm. The development of the Sagittarian identity would take the person into the realm of abstraction rather than tangible perception. Life opens up and is more than  what needs to be done on a routine basis. The earthy and stubborn temperament would be balanced out by the desire to introduce new impressions and new experiences. The need for a solid ”living and working” situation would prevail, but the person would ultimately aim higher than that in terms of individuation. Some Sagittarius Suns would be content with exploring their interests in private, to explore fascinating topics that adds to their own life while other would have to venture out into the physical world – to smell, see and touch different countries, to be in the sensory experience of it all. Taurus is a very physical sign and would likely appreciate the concreteness of experiencing something in the flesh rather than as an abstraction. The ability to picture things vividly in the thought scape sometimes doesn’t come as easily to more earthy temperaments. This could make it difficult to get excited about something without actually being in the actual excitement. However, the Sagittarian Sun has the potential to provide a great intuitive and creative capacity. This combo could be indicative of a person that is keen on securing a predictable future and predictable present while not taking it all too seriously. Whatever happens, it’s fine. Life goes on and one can trust that things are going to work out – not that it’s going to fix itself but that one has the stubbornness and stamina to see things through. It also gives the person a willingness to not only be concerned with the material aspect of life, but to see meaning in experiences as they unfold and present themselves.

Sagittarius Sun – Leo Moon

Honoring oneself through living out inherent greatness is of utmost importance. The person needs to know that they are whole and magnificent without having to explore and expand through the experience of variety and diversity – however, they could use their knowledge and insight to enhance their authority. The person would feel as if they were blessed from birth with a specialness and a right to be admired and loved. The need to occupy space and claim a place of importance is pressing for this individual. Speaking their opinion, retelling stories and dwelling on the subject of one’s involvement in significant events would be typical. I make it sound as if it’s done in order to compensate for a sense of inferiority, and it could be, but often Leo Moons have a genuine air about them that is magical and captivating. The person would be inclined to dramatize their life, to demonstrate their radiance through everything they do. With a Sagittarius Sun, it would optimally be done through travel and the experience of culture, religion and ancient wisdom. Everything has to be profound and glorious with this person – grace and charm is what they embody without trying. What the person needs to develop throughout life is more of a casual nature, a broader perspective and a recognition of people’s sameness. Leo’s tendency is to enhance personhood and not be overly concerned with the universal spirit – the universal self. Sagittarius knows that the same life that is oneself is also found in the rest of the existence. By developing the Sagittarian identity, the person doesn’t have to tone themselves down and live as if their separate self wasn’t worth promoting. The person could sustain a sense of specialness and still acknowledge other people’s beauty and rightful participation in life. It would be wise to keep in mind that there’s a big risk to always assume that one is right. Although Sagittarius provide a sense of openness and willingness to adapt and blend in with the spirit of the location, Leo needs to claim and dominate the environment they’re in, the conversation they’re in. This doesn’t necessarily go over well if it’s done with arrogance– other’s would easily feel diminished and disrespected. However, if the person is more mature, this need to shine could be felt as a genuine, benevolent presence that makes other people comfortable.

#sagittarius #sagittarius sun #sagittarius moon #capricorn moon #aquarius moon #pisces moon #aries moon #taurus moon #gemini moon #cancer moon #leo moon #virgo moon #libra moon #scorpio moon #the archer #astrology #moon placements #sun placements #moon signs #sagittarian traits #zodiac signs #spirit #fire signs #fire sun #fire sun signs #water moon #fire moon #earth moon #air moon

[stusbunker]

A Gentlemen’s Agreement Epilogue

A Supernatural Denny AU Fan-fiction Series

Featuring: Dean Winchester/ Benny Lafitte

Other characters: Pamela, Jesse, Caesar, Crowley, Balthazar, Meg, Jo, Lee, Lisa, Sam (mentioned), Drea OFC, Robbie and SJ OMCs, Deanna OFC

Word count: 2340

A/N: Enjoy! xoxo Stu

Brunch

    The sun was bright, but the air was crisp. The remnants of the early snowstorm had left soggy lawns and damp sidewalks. Benny pulled up to the restaurant and parked on the curb, smiling over at Dean. He waited patiently. 

    “You sure this is a good idea?” Dean squinted in the midday light.

    “Been dying to meet ya. Figured it’s only fair, I met your folks, you can meet my people too,” Benny said simply. “But I’m not gonna force ya.”

    “I just, I’m not used to being out in public. In numbers,” Dean sputtered.

    Benny raised a single eyebrow at him. “Well, I guess this is your best shot to try it out, dontcha think?”

    “What if they don’t like me? I don’t want you to have to choose between me and your friends,” Dean explained the root of the problem.

    “I like you, they will too. Just relax, be your charming self and if you don’t know what to say, you can just keep eating.” Benny put his hand on Dean’s thigh, squeezing just so.

    Dean growled out a sigh. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

    Like that could make an uncomfortable situation worth it. Benny smirked at Dean’s logic, waiting for his face to soften from grouchy to amiable. Once Dean relaxed, Benny kissed him, just long enough to keep him flustered and climbed out of the truck.

     They approached a large round table midway along the heated patio, where four people were already seated.

A raven haired woman waved them over. “My good Benjamin, did you bring a straight boy to brunch, just for me?!”

“Pammy!” Benny leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Hate to disappoint ya darlin', but ain't nothing straight about this'n."

 “Hey, now! Can’t a guy speak for himself?!” Dean snipped defensively as he sat in the spot beside Benny.

Everyone laughed. Pamela raised her eyebrow in question.

Dean licked his lips and put on the smolder, “Sorry sweetheart, but I’m taken.”

“Wait, this--- THIS is your sassy mechanic?!” Crowley leaned forward, extending his hand, his English brogue gruff and pandering. “Nice to finally meet you, handsome.”

       Dean gave Benny the side eye and all Benny could do was shrug coyly. Dean shook the man’s hand, trying not to show his discomfort from his lingering glances. Benny made the rest of the introductions, Jesse and Cesar were also a couple, but had been married for a few years. They seemed to be waiting on someone before they ordered. The group sipped their cocktails with a fresh pitcher of Bloody Mary in the center of the kitsch tablecloth.

Benny poured Dean a generous portion of the red drink and slipped seamlessly into the conversation. Dean sucked the palmeto out of an olive and listened casually, not too sure where he fit in this part of Benny’s life.

Twenty minutes later a rail of a guy swaggered in, with oversized aviators and a black linen suit. 

“Oh, thank Christ for booze,” he huffed, grabbing Dean’s glass without even acknowledging Dean was there. The blonde chugged the entire drink, before breaking for air. “I just had the worst hook up of my life, no, well, the year at least. He took me to his mother’s house. She tried to make me breakfast. I was simply mortified. I just left. What could I even do at that point, honestly?!”

Now that his audience had his attention back, the man gawked at Dean. He even pulled down his sunglasses for a better look. “Now who the fuck is this? Is it show and tell?! Because I am not prepared in the least.” 

He casually patted at his hair and eyed Dean from top to toe. Benny chuckled, but Pamela was the one to make the introduction.

“Balthazar, our regular hangover diva. Meet Dean, Benny’s boy toy,” she deadpanned, eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Oh you can’t be serious,” Balthazar lamented, looking from Pam to Benny to Crowley and finally at Dean. “Fuck you southerners and your goddamn accents--- always gets the hotter ones,” he muttered defensively as he threw himself against the armrest of the chair, crossing his legs.

“Well, now that we’re all here,” Cesar ended the dramatics concisely. “Maybe somebody should find our waitress?”

Dean looked at Benny confused. “We’re always here for a while, she doesn’t bother us until we’re actually ready to order. Tend to annoy her otherwise.”

Crowley volunteered as he needed to head to the men’s room anyhow. Five minutes later he arrived with an obviously surly waitress.

“Well look what the cat dragged in,” Meg’s smokey voice broke through Balthazar's latest story. She centered herself between Cesar and Crowley’s seat and cocked her hip, tongue firmly in cheek as she waited for Dean to take her bait.

“Heya, Meg,” Dean sighed. The inevitable caught up with him after all, they just had to run into someone he knew.

“Oh, this has got to be good, now, pray tell, how do you two know each other?” Crowley probed.

“Oh me and this schmuck? We go way back.” Meg smiled without teeth.

“Is that so?” Benny tested the waters.

“Not like that,” Dean grumbled. “Meg, here, took my little brother Sammy out for a few spins, back in the day. Didn’t you, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, well, what can I say? It was high school.” Meg let her indifference coat her entire being until curiosity sparked to life in her eyes. “So what are you doing with this crowd, or did they bring you in just to add a new level of torture to my Sunday shifts?”

“Well---.” Dean swallowed, looked at Benny for clarification and got mild amusement instead. “I think you’re stuck with me now.”

“Joy,” Meg bristled before taking their orders, knowing most of the table’s usuals before they even opened their mouths.

News

    Benny rushed into the customer entrance of the shop, the wet October air had kept the service doors closed for the past week. He leaned against the counter, decorated in local business cards and charity fliers, anxiously waiting for someone to talk to. His chest was so tight he worried he’d pass out from excitement. He just needed to see him was all, once he saw Dean it would be easier.

    Lee sauntered in from the service bay, they both had drawn the short straw it seemed.

    “Hey, mind getting Dean for me? It’s important,” Benny asked, unable to keep the burning smile from his face.

    Lee eyed him curiously but nodded and headed back the way he came. He didn’t shout, not really. “Dean-o, your boyfriend’s looking for ya.”

    Dean unfurled himself from the engine he had been tinkering with all morning and glared at Lee.

    “Husband, whatever, seems urgent,” Lee acquiesced. Dean nodded and wiped his hands off on the closest rag. Dean pulled his wedding band out from his undershirt out of habit more than anything. He couldn’t wear it on his hands at work, but he didn’t want to lose it so Benny made him a braided leather necklace once they got back from their honeymoon.

    Dean ignored formality and walked straight into the waiting room. Once he saw the look on Benny’s face he knew what was happening.

    “It’s go time?” He asked, shock and exhilaration sparking his instinct to move.

    “It’s go time, cher. Lisa called me on the way to the hospital. Sam’s driving her from the office. Her water broke about 9:30,” Benny explained, the nervousness slipping into his cadence.

    “Alright, I’m gonna clean up, you want me to drive?” Dean asked, gauging the unsteadiness in his usually stalwart husband.

    “That’s probably best, yeah,” Benny agreed. 

Dean leaned in and kissed him firmly, resting his forehead against Benny’s temple before pulling away.“Hey, we got this, alright? That kid is gonna be so spoiled having you for a daddy, you know that?”

“Look who’s talking, gonna have you wrapped around their finger before they can even crawl,” Benny teased back, inhaling with contentment.

Dean headed back to warn his coworkers that he had a baby on the way and to clean up enough to be allowed into a hospital. Jo followed Dean out into the lobby. Quickly, she hugged Benny before demanding regular updates to the group chat.

“Alright, get out of here, we’ve got you covered for the rest of the week. Let me know and I will put in paternity leave as soon as everyone’s home, okay?” Jo got all professional about things as Dean left.

“Oh, right, shit. Well, I guess I’ll let you know when you can come over and---,” Dean started before Benny pulled him by his elbow.

“We should be goin’” Benny urged. Dean looked at Jo one last time and nodded.

This was it.

   Dean held Benny’s hand the whole way to the hospital, their grip tightening every so often, grounding them both. Because Lisa was a friend and the surrogacy was looser than most circumstances, both Benny and Dean were allowed in the delivery room. They were the best cheerleaders a birth mom could have ever asked for. Seven hours later, one chubby baby girl entered the world screaming to high heaven and splitting her fathers’ hearts open for an entirely new level of love and devotion.

    Mary Andrea Lafitte-Winchester, or Drea for short, was a happy and healthy little girl. And an overprotective big sister to her twin brothers, Samuel Joel and Robert Fergus, who came along four years later.

Sunset

    They’re old men now. Dean is five years retired, while Benny works the register for their sons on the weekends. Both of their hands aren’t what they used to be. But they keep busy. Drea is bringing the kids round tomorrow, it’s the start of summer break and Dean’s been dying to teach her kids to fish.  

    Dean went grey after he turned fifty, but it hasn’t changed since, in color at least. Benny’s beard is as white as Santa Claus and he hides what little hair he has left under a cap. They’re both a little rounder, a little lower to the ground, but they got that way together and neither of them notice it on one another anyhow.

       Every year they visit Jesse and Cesar in Arizona for New Year's. Though they fly more than make the drive these days.

        They still take turns cooking the meals and the movie nights from their early days resurfaced into movie afternoons when their kids moved out. Dean can’t hear for shit anymore and, naturally, Benny makes fun of him for it. But Dean’ll put in his hearing aids if company is over.

 It’s early evening in the beginning of June and the bugs are orchestrating quite the soundtrack to their time on the porch. Dean pours his whiskey. Benny’s already sipping his sweet tea, his medications don’t let him drink much anymore. Jo’ll come by on Sunday, along with SJ and his wife and Robbie. Sam and Jess usually make it to every other dinner or so.

    “Hey there, handsome. Mind if I join you?” Dean teases, once a flirt always a flirt.

    “Not at all, cher. It’s a helluva view,” Benny glances at his husband, watches Dean take in the peaches and pinks kissing the slopes of the fields. They sit like that for an hour, until the dark is too thick to see through. Groaning and creaking they stand in turn. Dean keeps his hand on the small of Benny’s back as they head inside for the night, steadying them both.

    They moved their bedroom to the ground floor after Dean’s heart attack, a lot less worry about making it upstairs that way. After being married forty years, Dean still makes jokes about it being Benny’s place. But it’s always been his home. He kisses Benny goodnight, makes it a little saucy because he can. He’s the first to close his eyes.

    In the morning Benny makes waffles and tofu bacon. Dean pretends he can’t taste the difference, fooling no one. They make out while the sink fills for the dishes, too few to run the machine. Benny gets handsy first and Dean tries to squirm into the upperhand. They’re interrupted by a car pulling in the drive.

    “Busted,” Benny whispers.

    “You’re the one who wanted kids,” Dean grumbles against Benny’s neck, an old, unfounded retort.

    “Yeah, but the grandkids---,” Benny starts.

    “Were made to be spoiled,” Dean finishes and kisses Benny once more. Drea’s yelling at her kids to slow down before her dads even make it outside to greet them. Her eyes, blue as her daddy’s are tired. They don’t envy her the school aged years. Dean bends down as baby Deanna, who’s nearly four, comes crashing into his arms. He pulls her up and holds her tight, reminds him of her mama and he can’t help but get a little weepy over the passing years. 

    “It’s so good to see you, baby girl.” Benny pulls his daughter into a hug before helping with their bags. The older kids don’t come inside until it’s time to eat, climbing through the barn and splashing in the creek until they’re soaked. But Deanna sticks with her Grandpa on a simple stroll, while Pappy and Mama catch up.

    Dean still has the jacket he bought from Benny, though the pants are long gone. He’ll leave it to Robbie when the time comes, when his son finds himself a stud that’s worth settling down for. If that’s what he chooses. 

    For now, Dean lets his granddaughter pick up every rock and stick she finds and examines it to the nth degree. He explains what he can about each one. She’s very curious. He even lets her wipe her chubby little hands on his pants’ leg when she needs to. They get back to the house just in time to start dinner, but before they go inside Dean takes a mental picture of his husband on the porch, their daughter beside him and his granddaughter running past him.

   It is a helluva view after all. 

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Tagging: @flamencodiva​​​ @dolphincliffs​​​ @dontshootmespence​​​​ @fookinghelljensensthighs​​​​ @fangirlxwritesx67​​ @dawnie1988​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​​​ @cosicas-cuquis​​​​ @foxyjwls007​​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @wingedcatninja​​​​ @defenderrosetyler​​​​ @ericaprice2008​  @crashdevlin​​​  @mylovelydame21 @cajunquandary​​ @itmighthavebeenintentional​ @thoughtslikeaminefield​ @there-must-be-a-lock​ @tatted-trina6 @lyarr24​

#supernatural #supernatural au #spn fanfic #spn au #dean/benny #dean winchester x benny lafitte #bi!dean #aga: epilogue #A Gentlemen's Agreement #childbirth #meeting the friends #found family #aging #mortality #love of a lifetime #grandpa and pappy #health issues #Joel is for Jo and Ellen

[prophecy-is-inevitable]

Day of the Dead

Xavier x Fem Reader

Halloween had always been Xavier’s favorite holiday, and it’s not the same without him this year. After a child in a cemetery shares some words of wisdom with you, you decide to pay your final respects at Camp Redwood.

Warnings: Angst, Grief/Mourning a Loved One, Fluff, Smut, Soft!Ghost Xavier (Let me know if you’d like me to add anything!)

Word Count: 3344

Here is the Xavier “Halloween” Oneshot! I thought it would be good to at least mention the other holiday celebrated this weekend, and who better to do that with than our favorite pastel-wearing ghost! The incorporation of the Day of the Dead into this story is meant with respect and acknowledgement to those who celebrate. ¡Feliz Día de los Muertos!

--------

It had been hard to believe, even with all of the news coverage and the funeral. It was all the people of LA could talk about all summer long. The beach waves hardly drowned out the murmurs of sunbathers and surfers recalling the latest articles or how they’re pretty sure they’d had an aerobics class with Montana Duke as one point. It made you sick. A man was in a coma. One of your acquaintances was in prison. People had died--your friends...your loved one. 

You still couldn’t accept that Xavier was gone. When he had told you he was going to Camp Redwood to work as a counselor with his friends, you had kissed him goodbye and told him to have fun. If you had known that the only time you would see him again would be in his casket, you would have said more. You would have told him that he was the only one you wanted to spend your days and nights with. You would have told him that you loved him. 

Los Angeles was a place that offered so many possibilities and so many options. The both of you had agreed to keep your options open, even as you found yourselves falling back into one another when things didn’t quite work out with said options. This summer trip with his friends would be a good chance for him to unwind and take a break from the city and maybe meet someone new. He’d invited you, of course, but he knew as well as you did that the summer job wouldn’t cover your rent, and you had a decent job in the city. Again, maybe if you had known how much you would miss seeing those frosted tips walking through your door or the sassy sway of his hips when he came to wrap his arms around you in the kitchen, you would have gone. Maybe you could have saved him if you had been there. Maybe he could have lived instead of you.

Xavier was always stronger than you. He had a smile that could light up the room and make those around him beam in return. Everyone wanted to be him or be with him. He had a confidence and charisma in the way he carried himself and treated those around him that you couldn’t help but admire. Even if his beautiful steel eyes found their way to others, they always managed to come back to you. To be fair, your own eyes often appreciated others, as did your hands and lips. Subconsciously, you always found yourself comparing the taste of another’s kiss or the feeling of their lips on yours to the pillowy soft caresses or passionate captive embraces of Xavier’s.

Halloween made it even harder. Xav had always, always loved Halloween. He’d thoroughly enjoyed the ability to find a costume and dress up and take on a character for a night. As an aspiring actor, it was good practice and something he was passionate about. It hurt you deeply to know that he could no longer take part in the things he loved the most. Without him, these things were just painful reminders of how empty your life felt now. 

You didn’t bother dressing up this year. Some of the day you simply spent by his grave, placing tiny pumpkins as decorations or telling him your happiest memories from years prior.

“Do you remember a couple years ago, Xav? When we tried to carve pumpkins and forgot to get those special little serrated knives to make it easier? You tried to use a butter knife, because you were afraid you’d cut yourself with anything else. The knife was so dull it hardly cut through the damn thing and ended up pushing it off the table.” You laughed softly at the memory even as tears trickled down your cheeks. “It exploded all over the floor and we were finding seeds under things in the kitchen for weeks.”

Many Mexican families had come to the LA area in hopes of better prospects, and you watched as many of them trickled into the cemetery throughout the day with arms full of flowers and food and photographs of loved ones in celebration of Día de los Muertos. You watched, enraptured, as a family situated themselves a couple graves over from you and began decorating the tombstone in candles and flowers. Their child caught you staring and smiled. Their tiny hands placed a large loaf of bread in the center of the altar they had created before they joined you.

“You look sad.” You couldn’t help but smile softly at the child’s innocent observation.

“Yes. I miss someone very much. He meant a lot to me.” Your hand reached out to graze the top of Xavier’s tombstone. He’d had no family, or at least no family that you knew of, and his other friends had shared his fate. The child smiled at you brightly and that confused you. They seemed to notice your confusion and they tilted their head.

“You don’t need to be sad. As long as you remember them, their spirit will live on and be happy in the afterlife,” they explained. Large tears brimmed in your eyes and a tightness took hold of your throat. “If we don’t forget our loved ones, they can always come back to us.” You blinked up at them, surprised at the way their words comforted you as you sat in the damp cemetery grass. They darted back over to their family for a moment, and then returned to you with something in their hands. It was a small sugar skull. You placed it carefully at the center of Xavier’s gravemarker and admired the bright blue details of the eyes and yellow swirls around the crown of the skull. Xav would have appreciated the resemblance.

The next day, you decided to visit Camp Redwood and say your final goodbyes. Maybe it would help you get some closure or feel momentarily closer to Xavier if you saw the last place he had been alive. Seeing the wooden sign gave you goosebumps, and you stopped your car before crossing beneath it. Were you ready for this? You swallowed thickly and eased down the gas pedal to drive towards the camp. 

Everything looked...so normal. It looked exactly like you would expect a summer camp to look during the fall. There were leaves and needles everywhere, and the smell of damp earth and trees filled the air. A morbid part of you was expecting something awful, something that gave away the terrible events that happened here. You got out of the car once you reached the main area of the campgrounds where you could see the cabins. It was getting hard to breathe.

Several minutes passed before you mustered up the courage to actually open the door and get out. There was a strange silence in the air that even the birds didn’t want to break. It was still and peaceful, and it made the hair at the base of your neck stand up. Upon reaching one of the picnic tables, you pulled a small framed photo of Xavier from your purse. You propped it up and smiled softly at the goofy grin on his face. He’d gone for headshots not long before his trip to the camp, and you remembered him telling you how hard it was for him not to smile. The photographer had liked the picture so much that they had printed it anyway. You loved the look of excitement on his handsomely sculpted face. There was a small tea candle in your purse that you placed with the picture and watched the flame dance on the glass of the frame.

“I’m so sorry, Xavier. I miss you so much.” You crossed your arms on the top of the picnic table and rested your head on them as you wept. “I should have been here with you. Or at least told you what you meant to me.” You sniffled and choked a quiet sob. You’d never said the words out loud, and they lodged painfully in your throat when you tried to express them to the empty air. “I love you, Xavier.” But it was too little too late.

“You...love me?’ a voice asked quietly behind you. Your head instantly shot up from your arms. You were hearing things. Slowly, you turned around, and your mouth dropped open at the man standing there. You were on your feet instantly, nearly tripping over the bench of the table to do so, and you took a step towards him.

“Xavier? But you...you died. I was at your funeral… How..?” The shock had your heart hammering in your chest, and you found it hard to catch your breath. A sad smile crossed the plump lips that you had missed so much, and he shrugged as if what he said was the most casual thing in the world.

“Yeah. I’m dead, babe. I know.” Slow steps brought him to you as if he were approaching an injured animal preparing to bolt into the wilderness. “But did you mean what you said? That you love me?” Your mouth opened and closed without knowing exactly how to respond. What was happening?! His hand came up to stroke your cheek, and a shuddering breath pulled from your lungs at the familiar warmth. It felt so real. You instantly covered his hand with your own as more tears streaked your cheeks. “Please. Say it again.”

“I love you, Xavier.” In that moment, you didn’t care how it had happened or what was happening. This was your Xavier and you had a second chance. You were not going to let it slip away. “I love you so much.” Both of your hands reached up and cupped his face, your thumbs stroking his high cheekbones, and he did the same to you. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears at your words, and his body tensed like a spring prepared to snap.

“I love you, too.” Xavier leaned in and captured your lips desperately in his. You didn’t want to breathe for fear of having to break the kiss. You were afraid that if you opened your eyes there would be only air in front of you again. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Xavier was there, perfect tears trailing straight down his cheeks. Your thumb brushed them away as you stared at him in both joy and disbelief. Of course you wanted to ask how it was possible, but questions could come later.

Xavier grabbed your hand and led you quickly to one of the cabins that still contained fully dressed beds. In a few short moments, they were the only things dressed in the room. Xavier pulled your shirt off with frantic movements as if he was afraid you would disappear. Once your skin was exposed, however, he immediately slowed. He dropped feathery kisses over your chest and stomach, paying careful attention to your bare breasts before journeying downward. You clutched at his shirt and tugged it over his head so your hands could trace the smooth planes of his muscled back and upper shoulders. Your head tipped back as he ran his tongue from your navel to the waistband of your pants. 

“Please, Xav,” you moaned, one hand sliding into his perfectly sculpted hair. His wide, baby blue eyes gazed up at you with pupils blown wide by desire. You knew your eyes must have looked the same. Your breath hitched when he slowly rolled down the tops of your pants, taking your panties with them, and he placed sweet kisses down the entire length of your leg. Occasionally, he flicked his tongue across the skin before moving further down. He removed your shoes and socks so he could follow with the rest of your clothes, repeating the trail with his lips as he had on the precious leg. “Xavier…”

“I know, baby. Don’t worry--I’m going to take care of you.” Xavier stood up again to press another kiss to your lips. You followed when he attempted to pull back, not entirely ready for it to end. He chuckled against your lips and teased his tongue along your cupid’s bow. You were all too happy to allow him entry, and you groaned when you could finally taste him on your tongue again. He walked you back to one of the beds until you were forced to sit on the end. He kissed his way back up from your ankles to your lips, and you quivered beneath him.

Xavier was already throbbing in his shorts, and he tipped his head back with a groan when you began to palm him. His breath ghosted over your cheek as he looked down at you, seeming to take in every feature of your face.

“You are so beautiful, and I am such a fucking idiot for not making you mine every single day.” He dove in for another kiss that drew a whimper from your throat.

“I’ve always been yours. Always have and always will.” The tender exchange left you both eager to prove yourself to the other, and your fingers hooked into his shorts to help shuck them off. The tip of his cock immediately pressed to your entrance, but Xavier held back to make sure you were ready. A few lazy rolls of his hips coated his length in your wetness and assured him that you needed no further preparation. Neither of you would last long at this rate.

The unified groan reached every corner of the cabin as Xavier sank into you, his head dropping to your chest. You stroked his hair, one hand tracing shapes over his back, and whispered loving words while he panted against your skin. If only you could have stayed like this forever. This was how it was meant to be. He began moving with languid thrusts, savoring the feel of your tight heat clenching around him with each re-entry. Xavier curved his body over your own to seek as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. 

“I’ve missed you so much. You feel so fucking good,” he panted and steadily began to increase his pace. Your legs dangled over his hips, and you ran your feet lovingly along his calves while sucking his earlobe between your teeth. He cried out softly, thrusting sharply into you in surprise, and you reciprocated his pleasured shout. The old wooden bed creaked beneath you with each thrust Xavier made deeper into you. The gentle touches of his hands along your sides and the worshipping kisses he left on the arms around his neck made you quiver around him. You were so close. The pace increased when you voiced your impending climax to your lover. His forehead was slick with sweat, and you could tell he was holding back.

“I’m so close, Xav. Come with me, please,” you begged, arching your back off the bed to feel his cock push farther into your warmth. He moaned loudly through his teeth, twitching inside of you from the words you spoke and the physical signs of you clenching around him sporadically. You moaned his name over and over, kissing the sensitive spot on his neck just below the cross earring he always wore. His hips rocked into yours and you angled your hips to meet his thrusts each time. A few more well-timed thrusts into your g-spot had you careening over the edge of a blissful orgasm. The clutching of your core around him as Xavier chased his own end left him shouting out his pleasure in the form of your name, and his warm seed quickly filled you.

“I love you…”

“I love you, too.”

The two of you remained that way for several minutes, too sated to want to move or lose the contact with each other. Eventually, you ended up laying on your sides to face each other. Your fingers danced along his toned arms, and he drew shapes and patterns over your hip as he held you close. Xavier explained everything to you, or as much as he could at least. You still didn’t quite understand it. All you knew was that you had been able to see the man you loved one more time and be in his arms.

“You’ll have to go soon,” he sighed. You frowned and cupped his cheek.

“What do you mean? Why?”

“We aren’t the only ones here--Me, Montana, and the guys. There are others, and I can’t let them hurt you.” 

“I don’t care, Xavier. I want to be with you.” He quickly shook his head and held your wrist to remove your hand from his cheek. You could see the pain on his beautiful face in the way he squeezed his eyes shut.

“No. No, I won’t let you die. Not here, and not because of me.” 

It seemed that time was passing all quickly, the sun beginning to set through the tall redwoods the camp was named for. Xavier hadn’t stopped touching you the entire time, with one exception, and you were grateful for it. The only time his hands weren’t on you was when he jogged over to the table to grab his picture and handed it back for you “to remember him by”. You stopped beside your car and he cupped your face in his large hands. 

“Promise me you won’t come back here.” The whisper made you shiver. You searched his eyes and tried to fight the burning in your sinuses. This truly was your final goodbye. His throat bobbed as he swallowed down his own emotions. You nodded reluctantly, and the relief from Xavier is palpable. His hold on you loosened slightly until he brought you in for one more kiss. It lasted longer than the others, your hands slipping into his hair and his thumbs removing the tears from your cheeks once more, and you take in everything he is in that moment. The warmth of his hands on you, around you, the pressure and gentle massaging motions of his lips on yours, the scent of his cologne and hair gel. Everything you would never have again and never be able to forget.

You were driving down the road before you knew it, and you stopped just outside Camp Redwood grounds. Xavier was standing just inside the sign when you leaned out the window to look back. It took everything you had to simply blow him a kiss and continue down the road towards the highway. Your only consolation was that the last words the two of you spoke to each other were the three words you had always wished you could say. 

Static came over the radio between one of the valleys, and you slammed your palm against the piece of junk. Between the mix of untuned stations and noise, you barely made out a few words:

“A child born of human and spirit will usher in the end of times.”

You groaned at the usual AM station interference and decided to turn it off until you got closer to the city. There was no room in your mind for music right now anyway. All thoughts were of Xavier and hours you had spent together. Had what the children in the cemetery said been true? Was it your remembrance of Xavier part of the reason he remained here? He seemed trapped, and that was not what you wanted, but you knew you would never be able to forget him.

At the end of July 1985, you gave birth to a beautiful blond child. He has his father’s gemstone eyes that sparkled with wonder and mischief. The angelic curls atop his head were what you knew Xavier’s looked like when eased up on the blow-dryer and products. Now there would always be a part of your lost love with you. You named the child Michael, and you loved him more than life itself.

You could not have been happier. The Day of the Dead had left you with a new reason for living.

#xavier plympton #xavier plympton fanfiction #xavier x reader #xavier plympton x reader #ahs 1984 #Happy Halloween Xavier Plympton #Man this was bittersweet to write #my oneshots

[peanut-in-the-goal]

Would love to read the longer insecure Leo fic day if you feel like finishing it. If not it’s totally cool no pressure or anything. 🙂 I love your writing and all the o’knutzy feels!

hhhh so I wrote this so long ago tbh I don’t think I’m going to finish it

If someone actually wants me to finish it just send in an ask and I’ll try to but as of right now this is about as good as it’s going to get okay? (it could just be the fact that it’s 2am and I don’t wanna hurt leo rn lol) This is just like a v long wip that serves no real purpose. as also characters belong to @lumosinlove 

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Leo woke up to a cold bed. He sat up, yawning. Blearily he looked around, raising his hands to attempt to rub some of the sleep from his eyes. He leaned over, grabbing his phone from the nightstand, checking for any unread messages from either Logan or Finn. The time read 8:12, far too early for Logan to be awake. Finn, maybe. 

He glanced up, hearing the distinct sound of the toilet flushing before a very tired Logan stumbled out. He laughed, his voice rough with sleep, as Logan came back, falling onto the bed. His hair splayed across his pillow, and his eyes looked up to meet Leo’s.

He raised his arm, grabbing onto Leo’s sleeve, trying to tug him back to bed, lightly. Leo went willingly, curling himself around Logan, who had his head buried in Leo’s chest.

“Mph, stay,” Logan muttered, his eyes already slipping closed, content on sleeping their day away. Leo smiled, placing a soft kiss on the top of Logan’s head. 

“D’accord.” He whispered, they’d find Finn later. It wasn’t unusual for him to go for a run in the morning anyways. Leo laid there, toying with Logan’s hair as he felt him relax completely, soft snores coming from the boy.

He smiled as Logan shifted again, subconsciously pushing himself further into Leo. 

The next time Leo woke up, it was to the front door closing. Logan whined in his sleep, shifting slightly, when the noise woke him. He kept his eyes closed, shuffling closer to Leo and pushing his head further into his pillow. Leo shushes him quietly, waiting for him to go back to sleep. After a moment, he heard Logan’s breath even out again and he sighed in relief. 

He felt someone watching them, looking up, he saw Finn standing in the doorway with a soft smile playing at his lips. Leo beckoned him over, silently telling him to come back to the bed, with a small nod with his head. Finn smiled but shook his head.

 “I’m all sweaty,” he whispered. Which was true, it was evident he had just come back from his morning run. “I’m going to go shower.” He spoke softly, mostly not to wake Logan, and removed his airpods. 

Leo nodded, glancing at the clock, 8:56 am, before burying his face back into Logan’s hair. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Once again, he lets the sleep take over, relaxing them as they waste their day away.

It’s not long before he feels the bed dip behind him, and Finn’s warm body and wet hair lay along his back. His smile lingered on his lips, turning to kiss Finn softly, before finally letting the sleep take over, knowing his two boys were safe, there with him.

Nothing. Honestly, nothing happened. He was fine, the day had gone perfect. He didn’t have practice and got to spend the day sleeping with his boys. He was happy, he was so so happy. 

But why was that familiar dread settling in his chest? Why did he feel like it was wrong, everything he was doing was wrong with that nagging feeling telling him he wasn’t good enough? He shifted, which made Logan stir and look up at him with his wide green eyes blinking up blearily at him.

Leo tried to shush him and get him to go back to sleep, but Logan had seen his sad face, and before he knew it Logan was sitting up, looking at him concerned. 

“Peanut? Vas tu bien?” he asks, searching Leo’s face for something that tells him what’s wrong. Leo opened and closed his mouth, before taking a shaky breath.

“Je vais bien, C’est bon.” He hates the way his voice wavered at the end, cracking slightly. Logan’s eyes softened, taking Leo’s face into his hands.

“Knutty,” he mumbled. He placed a soft kiss to his forehead, then his nose, then both his cheeks before finally landing one on his lips. Leo tried to smile, he really did, but he couldn’t keep it up for long. 

Logan stretched out his arms, letting Leo lean into him as he hugged him close.

This time a small smile actually did ghost Leo’s lips. Logan and Finn always knew how to help him, even if they didn’t use words to communicate. He doesn’t know how long they sat there, with Logan holding him as he tried to ignore the voices in his head nagging at him. Telling him he wasn’t good enough, that he didn’t deserve their love. 

He isn’t even sure when the tears started slipping down his cheeks, but they must have because he felt Logan hugging him tighter. Leo goes to apologize, for being such a mess and for crying. But he can’t even get the words out before he feels a warm weight fall against his back and a pair of strong arms wrapping around his shoulders.

“Mph,” Finn mutters, his voice groggy and rough with sleep as he buries his face in Leo’s neck. Leo sniffs, trying to stop his tears before Finn notices. But Finn hears with his head being so close to Leo’s and his head snaps up. He takes in the tear stains on his cheeks and the damp spot on Logan’s shirt.

And it happens so quickly, where Finn has climbed off his back and is sitting in front of him, raking his finger through Leo’s hair.

“Baby?” He asks, not exactly knowing what's going on, but was definitely not expecting to wake up to Leo crying. “What’s wrong, what happened? Are you okay, are you hurt? Did we do something? Are you...” He trailed off, watching Leo shake his head frantically instead of answering his questions.

Finn quietens down, letting Leo get his thoughts into words, to explain what's wrong so Finn can hold him, and take care of him, because he loves him so, so much and it kills him a little more when Leo starts to slip. He’s right there, he's right there, but he seems so far away. It feels like Leo is slipping through his fingers, and Finn is so scared that one day he won’t be able to grasp on and pull him back in.

That he’ll lose the funny and smart man, that he’ll let the depression take over. He’s scared he’ll stop fighting it and he’ll drift. He’ll drift and become a shell, and he can’t count how many times he’s fallen asleep crying into Logan's arms because he doesn’t want to lose him.

He can’t lose him. 

And he barely hears the muttered apology escape from Leo’s lips, and he would have if he weren’t so hyper-aware of everything Leo was doing. Waiting for the hitched breath that showed he couldn’t hold it back anymore, and Finn could pull him into his arms until he cried himself back to sleep, and Logan went to make some tea and order take out.

Because everyone knows that they can’t cook, and they don’t need to add to Leo’s stress by making him help clean it up. He just needs them by his side, ready to help him, to show him the love that brought him together.

And Finn hates that Leo feels this way, that he isn’t good enough. He hates that Leo tries to push them away, that he thinks he’s a burden and a nuisance. They’ve learned the best way to help him over the past few months have caught up to him. 

The recent news of his father's sickness, with playoffs right around the corner. Loops pulling Kasey from the next couple of games for the pulled hamstring. It was too much, it proved too much when it started pushing Leo.

They could see it happening, Leo waking up earlier to hit the gym before practice, staying late after to add in some more training. The need that he had to feel good enough, to feel like he had to prove something because of his age. That broke both Logans and Finn's heart watching him work and work and work. Draining himself, when he couldn’t see how good he really was.

Leo was fidgeting with the duvet on the bed, pulling at the loose, frayed string on the end. He sniffed, once, then twice, before the dam broke. He angrily tried to wipe away at the tears rolling down his cheeks, biting his lip to try and clench the sobs that were bubbling up. But he couldn’t, he was fighting a losing battle and was giving in. 

They acted on instinct, Finn catching Leo as he fell into his chest, the heart wrenching sobs ripping themselves from his throat. Finn embraced him, holding him tightly, never going to be ready to let go. Logan moved to his side, rubbing his back, placing a kiss to his temple and his cheek every few minutes. 

“Désolé, Je suis désolé, I’m sorry,” Leo sobbed. 

He hates being like this, feeling useless, so utterly vulnerable. The way he was falling apart, with too many thoughts rushing through his head. His heart was beating erratically, his breaths uneven and shallow. He grasped onto Finn’s shirt, knuckles turning white as his hands shook with the material in between his fingers. His lips trembled, the oxygen seemingly impossible to get to his lungs.

Finn hugged tighter, whispering in his ear.

“Baby, don’t apologize. Never apologize for this. I just want to be there for you, we both do. Let us be there for you. Knutty, baby, we’d cross oceans for you.” 

Logan nodded in agreement, delivering another kiss into his blonde curls. Leo let it sink it, not exactly believing it, but hoping that maybe, it could be true. 

He fell asleep there, the tears track drying on his cheeks.

That last thing he heard was Logans whispered, “I love you,” before he let the darkness take over.

Leo could feel his breath picking up, the inward panic settling in his chest. He wasn’t sure why this affected him so much. He huffed, wiping at his eyes angrily where he could feel the tears forming. 

“Baby?” He heard the door creak open, Finn’s voice calling over all the voices in his head. He wasn’t sure why it was hitting him so hard right now. He knew he had depression, he had it since he was young. He would scoff at himself when he let it win, feeling utterly useless, and wanting to do better.

He felt like nothing he did was enough. Not enough for him, or his parents, or for Finn and Logan. 

The bed dipped beside him, feeling Finn’s warm hand cupping his cheeks, and turning his face towards him. Finn made a confused noise, whipping at the tears rolling down Leo’s cheeks.

He hadn’t even realized they fell. He just felt so numb.

“I brought you some food,” he said softly, like if he said it any louder it would’ve broken him. And quite honestly, it probably would have. Days like this, it made him feel horrible when Finn and Logan had to bring him food, or water, or do anything for him that he should be able to do himself. 

He gave Finn a wavering smile in return, which slipped off his face as quickly as it appeared. Gosh, why did he feel like such a fuck up? He took the plate from Finn, placing it in front of him on the bed. 

Finn and Logan knew he wouldn’t be able to stomach anything rich right now. Even then, the toast on the plate seemed absolutely revolting right now, just the thought of food made him nauseous.

#see i didn't finish #gg writes #GG writes shitty stuff