#i love my terrible daughter so fuckin much

[bluebeary-jay]

Damage done

Pre/No-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: during a fight with Joel, he unknowingly sends you into a panic attack caused by your previous experiences. he deeply regrets it. (based on this wonderful ask!)

Tags: heavy ANGST, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending (there's also fluff), established relationship, petnames, soft!Joel (he's trying his best fr 🥺). Several years pre outbreak. please read the warnings carefully

Warnings: fighting, talk and mention about previous abusive relationship, panic attack, emotional distress, self-destructive thoughts

Word count: 4K

A/N: i wrote it partially based on experiences with my own panic attacks, but i know everyone's is different. if there's a warning i missed, please let me know. also i want this man to take care of me so much 😢 anyway, stay safe, darlings, and as always: happy reading and i hope you'll enjoy!! 💕 comments and feedback are greatly appreciated 😌

It had been a rough couple of weeks. Things at your work were rocky to say the least, what with your boss firing several people every week and cutting your salary. Joel didn’t have it much better – from what you understood, two clients suddenly canceled their order, and Tommy got himself thrown into jail, again, breaking his longest record to date. On top of that, little Sarah went down with some kind of flu that was raging in schools recently, and for the last two weeks one of you had to be home with her almost all the time.

So it was probably no wonder that the tension and stress became too much at one point, and you both snapped.

It was about the play at Sarah’s school.

“You promised her, Joel! She was talking about it for the entire week.”

“It’s not my fault we have to go out of town on this date,” he answered through clenched teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose and not looking up at you. “I tried to reschedule, but the commissioning party refused. I can’t help it, for fuck’s sake.”

You were glad Sarah wasn’t home right now to listen to your fight. You dropped her off earlier at her friend’s house because she wanted to practice lines for the play they were doing next week. The play that Joel was apparently planning to miss.

You adored Joel – god, you loved him with all that you had – but he could be so stubborn sometimes, it was driving you up the fricking wall.

“It’s your kid, Joel–”

“Yeah, it’s my kid!” he raised his voice, only now lifting his head. His stare was cold and hard, so unlike how he usually looked at you. “Not yours.”

“Are you kidding me?!” you shouted, hurt by his words and the tone he used. “I’ve been taking care of her, loving her– She is like a daughter to me!”

“But still not yours,” he repeated harshly. That was a low blow, especially when he told you so many times that you might not be Sarah’s biological mother, but it’s obvious you love her like she’s your own blood.

“You’re only saying that ‘cause you know I’m right,” you snarled angrily, and Joel huffed a humorless laugh.

“Of course. You always know better, dont’cha?” He stood up, towering over you, but you didn’t back down. If anything, it only made you more mad, as if he was doing this to intimidate you. “I’m sorry I’m such a terrible father in your eyes, but I have to think about earning money. Especially since it’s only a matter of time ‘till that asshole boss of yours will fire you, too.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?! You really think so lowly of me to say it won’t be long until I get fired?”

“I don’t– Christ, you’re puttin’ words in my mouth again.”

“Again. Of course.” You spat out and took your sweatshirt from the couch, done with him and this conversation. “I’m going to my home,” you told him dryly. Joel’s nostrils flared and he took a step forward.

“No, you’re not.”

“Fuckin’ watch me,” you muttered under your breath, but loud enough for him to hear.

“We are not finished!!” Joel screamed, his booming voice echoing throughout the house.

It felt like a slap. In one second you froze, all your muscles seized up and a feeling of coldness gripped your heart and throat, sending panic flooding your veins. The sweatshirt you were holding slipped out from your stiff fingers.

Joel has never raised his voice at you like that. Never with such anger and fury. There was a bite to his tone that you couldn’t explain, but which you knew very well – the telltale sign that you went too far, and the other person’s patience was at an end, that now you were going to pay for it.

Your previous boyfriend taught you what it means. It meant bruises and split lips, and screaming when you started crying…

Joel noticed the shift in your behavior right away, and his anger immediately ebbed, replaced by confusion and concern.

“Darlin’?” he murmured the pet name, though it rolled off his tongue heavily and with difficulty.

He was still furious at you and your refusal to understand what he was going through, but it all died down when he saw how wide, how empty your eyes were. Your knees buckled, and you looked like you could fall down at any moment.

Joel didn’t have any idea what was happening with you – but knew that whatever it was, it was his fault.

You, in the meantime, felt like you couldn’t breathe. The man in front of you – you weren’t even sure anymore who that was – took a step forward with his hand lifted, and you quickly backed away, stumbling in the process.

“No! N-no, no, please, I’m sorry–” you started blabbering and sobbing, wrapping one arm around your middle to protect all the main internal organs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“No, you didn’t…”

“Please… I’m sorry, I swear,” you cried, trembling at this point, but not daring to escape the room. “I’ll be better, just don’t… Please, don’t…”

Joel’s heart broke when he saw you bursting into tears and trying to make yourself as small as possible. All his anger disappeared in a cloud of smoke, replaced by the overpowering need to comfort the girl he loved.

But you seemed so scared when he wanted to come closer… And he didn’t know how to proceed.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he repeated in an even softer tone, his eyebrows scrunching in worry. “Sweetheart… M’not gonna hurt you.”

He took another slow step forward, but that seemed to already be too much, because the trembling intensified and you practically slumped against the wall, one arm around your stomach, and the other squeezing your throat tightly. Joel feared to know the reason why you would do that to yourself.

“Stop, plea– I can’t– I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay, my baby, it’s alright…”

He fell down to his knees next to you and reached to take you in his arms, but you started shaking your head violently, backing away and squirming out of his reach.

“No, no, please, I’m sorry! Don’t– don’t touch me!!”

A bile rose up in his throat, and he retreated his hands, holding them low in front of him to show he’s not going to do anything.

“It’s alright, babygirl,” he muttered chokingly, feeling completely helpless and lost about what to do. “You… you’re safe.”

You were crying uncontrollably now, though it seemed like you tried to stifle the never-ending sobs and tears flowing out of your eyes, in result making your entire body shake. You flinched – actually flinched – when Joel opened his mouth, and your fingers around your throat tightened their grip.

“No,” Joel said decisively, breaking your wish and grabbing your wrists, moving them away from your neck where red crescents started to form. “Baby, please, don’t.”

“Let go!!” It was hard to distinguish the words from between your cries, but the message your body language was conveying was clear as day. “No, don’t… me…” You sobbed again, quickly weakening despite your efforts. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Come ‘ere,” Joel whispered in a voice full of pain, carefully shifting closer and wrapping his arms around you, though being careful not to make you feel too crowded or trapped. “Shhh… it’s Joel, darlin’, m’here.”

Surprisingly, you let him hold you – maybe it was just because you didn’t have strength to resist and fight back anymore, Joel thought, but maybe you recognized him. Maybe it was both. But the tears didn’t stop. No matter how gently he stroked your back or whispered reassuring words, you couldn’t seem to stop crying.

Several times in the next couple of minutes you tried to grasp your neck or arm again, but every time he delicately, though firmly, moved them away. You still babbled half-intelligible apologies and pleas, and each time your voice broke or hitched on another fearful word, Joel’s heart was shattering into a million pieces all over again.

“I’m sorry…” you sobbed again, trembling in his arms. “I’m sorry, don’t hurt me, p-please–...”

“My darlin’...” Joel held you closer and more securely in his arms, rocking you back and forth. “Sweetheart, my sweet, sweet girl… I’m never gonna hurt you, I swear.” He planted soft, delicate kisses on your hair. Even though he wanted to hug you tightly, to show you how much he loves and cares about you, he restrained himself and tried to keep his touch as gentle as possible. “I swear, my babygirl, m’sorry, so sorry for screamin’... Didn’t mean to.”

You were still crying, albeit weaker now, in his arms, clinging to him like your life depended on it. Joel could feel your nails digging themselves into the skin of his back, but it was the furthest thing on his mind – hell, he could start bleeding and still it wouldn’t be as important as comforting you at this moment. Better him than you.

“I love you s’much, my babygirl, my life,” Joel continued murmuring into the top of your head, feeling close to crying himself when your tears seemingly couldn’t stop flowing. “M’so sorry. I won’t ever hurt you like that again, I swear…”

His words, though full of love and compassion, rolled off you like water off a duck’s back, and you still couldn’t locate yourself, couldn’t tether your being to this world and make sense of the difference between what you knew should happen, and what was actually happening.

Your whole body was hurting, yes, but it wasn’t the pain of being repeatedly hit. You could barely hear your own cries, but it wasn’t because of vicious and cruel words being thrown at you. You knew it was Joel you were clinging to, and he never hurt you in this way, but… but you also were never so angry at each other. You never fought like this – and experience taught you that crossing that invisible line will carry certain consequences.

You weren’t angry now. You were scared. And confused.

“Joel,” you whimpered between gasps, struggling to breathe through your rapid sobs. “I’m sorry. Please, don’t– don’t go.”

“M’not leavin’ ya, babygirl.” He spoke into your hair, closing his eyes. “M’not goin’ anywhere.”

You were calming down a little now, the sobs wrecking your body and breaking Joel’s heart dying down, though you were still shivering. Joel continued to hold and soothe you the best he could.

And wondered who must’ve hurt his darling so much that you’d react so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered after a while, sniffling into Joel’s chest, but trying not to get snots on his shirt. Joel sighed sadly, but his hold on you just tightened.

“No, babygirl, my darlin’...” He pressed his lips to your hairline, stroking your back with his other hand. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for, I swear. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you whimpered pitifully, unable to stop another wave of tears from falling. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I know… Joel, I know you won’t hurt me. Baby, please.” You took his head in your hands, searching his eyes with fear painted across your face. “I’m so sorry, wasn’t thinking and…”

“Hey. Love, it’s fine.” He placed his own hands on your cheeks, stroking lightly your damp skin with his thumbs. “Don’t say that. M’not angry at you and would never be because of that. It’s… it’s okay.” He petted your hair, trying to relax for your sake, but his chest remained tight. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

You nodded weakly, though you weren’t sure if you believed him. Joel swallowed heavily and nodded after a while, too.

“Okay. I… I’ll run you a bath,” he whispered, but you held his hand tighter and shook your head with tears gathering in your eyes again.

“No, no! Just s-stay with me, please.”

Joel took your face in his hands, but you closed your eyes, feeling too vulnerable and exhausted to even try to maintain eye contact.

“I’m here, baby. C’mon, just hold onto me.”

He waited until your arms were around his neck before slowly standing up and tucking you securely in his arms. You hid your wet face in the crook of Joel’s neck, breathing in his soothing smell and trying to calm your breathing, which you still found difficult.

Neither of you said anything when he took you to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet seat and started to fill the bathtub with water and soothing oils. You just watched him, wiping your nose every once in a while.

Still remaining silent, Joel extended his hand and helped you stand up. Then, almost with fearful hesitation, he touched the hem of your shirt, sending you a questioning look. You just nodded, not having strength to undress yourself, and lifted your arms, letting him take your clothes off.

You didn’t let go of his hand even after he guided you to sit in the tub. You couldn’t bear being alone with your thoughts right now, and Joel, being as wonderful of a man as he was, stayed by your side as the warmth from the water seeped through your tired bones.

Another several minutes passed before he finally asked the question that was gnawing at him since the very beginning. You must’ve subconsciously known it was coming, cause it didn’t even surprise you.

“Who was it?” he asked quietly. His hand was still caressing your palm with the gentlest of touches, but his eyes were like ice, full of hidden rage and hatred. “Who did this to you, darlin’?”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, not sure whether to answer or not. Ever since you got to know him, Joel has been nothing but kind and understanding, never pressuring you into doing or saying something you didn’t want… but you had a feeling he wasn’t going to let the matter drop.

And honestly, you were afraid to tell him. To admit how your previous relationship looked and what exactly happened to make you act so strongly about something so small. Because… what if he’ll realize how broken you are, how much effort it’d take to put up with you, and he’ll leave? Even if he was willing to take care of you, it was really unlikely that he’d stay – even if he says that now.

You were doing good until today. You managed to hide the issues you had with yourself and all the pain you carried inside, never letting Joel know that something was wrong with you. But now he… he will…

You didn’t want him to leave. He made your life so much better and you loved him to pieces with all your heart, as weak and broken as it was.

You couldn’t lose him.

“Oh, baby…” Joel’s hands cupped your cheeks so carefully and lovingly that you almost started weeping again. “M’not goin’ anywhere. I love ya so much. You’re never gonna lose me.”

You didn’t realize you said those words out loud, but even so, somehow his affirmations didn’t make you feel any better. You wanted them to comfort you, but if anything, they just made you feel sick.

“I’m afraid you’re gonna leave someday,” you whispered hoarsely, keeping your eyes on the slowly disappearing bubbles. “I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t want you to. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Joel. I…” Tears spilled from your eyes again and you shook your head. “I know I’m too much. And… and broken. And I know it sounds like I wanna guilt-trip you, but I’m not, I’m just–” You choked on a sob, and wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. “I don’t– don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Sweetheart, look at me, please.” Joel’s hands were rough to the touch, but so incredibly gentle when they guided you to meet his eyes, and a big pit formed in your stomach when you saw how they shone. He was on the verge of tears, too. “Don’t say things like that. Nothin’ is wrong with you. Who…” He sighed again. “Who made you believe such things?”

You didn’t answer at first, but Joel kept staring at you, and – finally – you relented.

“My previous boyfriend. The one I didn’t want to talk about. He– Look, I know he was a horrible person.” You let out a short laugh, but without any joy – or emotions altogether – in it. “And I hate him so much, but he… he was right. About some things.”

“He’s not.” Joel didn’t back down, feeling despair growing inside his chest as he saw the girl he adored with his whole heart put herself down like that. “You’re… fuck, you’re perfect, darlin’, and you didn’t deserve to be treated or talked to this way. M’so sorry it happened to you.”

He brushed some of your hair to the back and sighed silently. He seemed so lost and sad, it made you feel even worse.

“What can I do?”

That stopped the train of your thoughts, and you looked up.

“What?”

“What can I do?” he repeated softly. “To prove t’you that I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Your lips parted, and you were unsure what to say. Joel took your hand in his, delicately tracing patterns on the back of it.

“Babygirl, listen to me. You’re the most precious thing t’me. I don’t care what this asshole told you, but… but none of this is true. And it’s not gonna drive me away from you. Nothin’ is gonna make me leave,” he repeated more firmly, never taking his eyes off you. “Because I love you. More than anythin’ else in the world”

Joel sounded so sincere and desperate, tugging at your heartstrings with his gentle, sad eyes and loving words. The water became cool some time ago, but your insides felt like they were on fire – as if the next breath you were about to take would be your last.

“I’m sorry for everything I said.” You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice steady. “I don’t think you’re a bad father. I think you’re the best and most amazing dad Sarah could ever ask for. I didn’t want…” You sniffed and your shoulders started to shake again with silent cries. “I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry, I didn’t–”

The sob that you tried to stop with all your might suddenly escaped you, and Joel’s forehead scrunched in worry. He pulled you closer, leaning over the edge of the bathtub. Neither of you concerned yourself with water dripping off your skin, only feeling relieved from each other’s closeness.

“I know, babygirl. M’not mad.” Joel left a lingering kiss on your tearstained cheek, and then a second one on your forehead. “I’m sorry, too. For how I acted and for–” he sighed heavily into your shoulder, “for shouting at ya.”

“You couldn’t have known,” you mumbled, but he shook his head.

“That’s no excuse. I shouldn’t ‘ave done it in the first place.” He relaxed in your arms, and somehow it made your muscles less tense, too. “I’ll see what I can do about that job. So that I can see Sarah’s play.”

You nodded and let your eyelids drop, giving in to the feeling of calm and security that always came with being with Joel.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” you asked quietly. You still were a little afraid that he’s going to turn you down after what happened, but you really didn’t want to stay alone. “With you?”

“‘Course you can. D’ya want to go now?”

You nodded again. Not bathing seemed like a big waste of water, but you didn’t feel strong enough to actually wash your body. And Joel didn’t pressure you – he just bent over and wrapped his strong arms around you, practically pulling you out of the tub by himself.

His clothes were completely soaked when he put you down and reached for the fluffiest towel you had, wrapping it around you like a little cocoon. He got rid of his wet shirt, kissed your head gently and, without a word, scooped you up into his arms again.

“I can stand,” you offered when he started walking towards the bedroom, forcing you to wrap your hands around his neck for support.

“I want to take care of you.”

“But your back pains…”

“I’m not that old yet, sweetheart,” he answered with a half-smile, slowing down and gazing into your eyes softly. “Let me take care of you.”

You brushed his cheek with your fingertips tenderly, eyes flickering across his face. “But you’re always taking care of everyone, Joel.”

His throat bobbed and he almost immediately looked away. It was clear what he was thinking – that according to himself, he wasn’t doing a good enough job. Because you got hurt. Because he was the one who unintentionally hurt you and sent you into a panic attack.

He was silent when he put you down on the bed with care, turning around to fetch one of his shirts from the closet. During this whole time you didn’t say anything, either. Your mind was still a little closed off from when you tried to separate yourself from the painful memories that started to haunt you, and despite Joel’s efforts, it was still difficult to move past the experience.

But your head snapped up when Joel, after helping you put the shirt on, knelt in front of you, took your hand in his and leaned forward to kiss your knee gently.

“M’sorry,” Joel whispered with pain tinging his deep voice. “I’m sorry for sayin’ all those things about you and Sarah. I know you love her.” He pressed his lips to your knee again, and lifted his head, revealing how misty his own eyes were, which in turn made your heart ache even more. “My sweet girl. I swear I won’t ever hurt you again.”

“You didn’t hurt me,” you answered quietly, but Joel shook his head and took a deep breath.

“What can I do?” he repeated his question from earlier, and this time you knew exactly what you needed him for.

“Can you… can you hold me?”

Without missing a beat, Joel raised from his position and enveloped you in his embrace, making you feel safe and protected like never before. You sighed heavily, breathing in his scent and feeling like just by touching you with such love that only he was capable of, he helped you to lift some invisible load from your shoulders.

Despite the headache from all the crying and your chest still tightening with every shallow breath you took, you felt a little better now. You didn’t feel alone.

You knew you were safe with Joel.

It took some time for you to fall asleep, but even when you did, Joel could not find peace in the silky darkness of the evening.

Before you dozed off, Joel vowed again and again how much you mean to him, how you and Sarah are the best things that ever happened to him, and how he’ll never let anything happen to any of you – and he could clearly see that you believed his every word, and that you weren’t mad at him. You weren’t flinching when he rocked you back and forth, or later when he pressed small kisses to your forehead.

But you still were quiet and your face miserable, and several times Joel tucked you in closer to himself when he felt you shaking and sniffing. There wasn’t anything else he could do but hold you and whisper soothing promises into your hair. Once your eyelids started to drop, he began humming a familiar melody he knew you liked, and you nuzzled your face into his neck, curling up in his embrace.

And you whispered ‘I love you’ before you drifted off to an uneasy sleep in his arms. And before he could even answer, you thanked him for loving you.

When he heard it, he had to keep himself from breaking down with the last bit of his strength.

“You mean everythin’ to me, love. Everythin’,” he murmured after a couple of seconds, not even knowing if you were still awake. The guilt in his chest made it hard to breathe, but he pushed through it, and then he softly kissed your forehead, making a promise to himself.

He will find time to go to Sarah’s play with you. And he’ll make it right.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #joel miller x y/n #tlou hbo #young joel miller #sarah miller #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff

[merakidoll]

— age gap / best friend’s mom trope

connie was guilty for many things. having a love for quick things, like the way of living, or money. he was guilty of having such an strong love for fast cars, and dying his hair. but he had never thought to add falling for his best friend’s mom on the list.

neither knew how they had grown to like one another other so much. how they grew desperate for each other’s company, or touches. even kisses, and god did they love that. they both had voices screaming to stop- how this would turn out to be a terrible situation. voices that told you the age gap was too much, he wasn’t ready for things that you were. but he always proved you wrong.

now you layed in a heart shaped bed, in the never sleeping Las Vegas where you both had just shared i do. one step closer to connie being adamant on filling you with his seed. his daughter.

“take s-some outuhhh!” you gritted through your teeth pushing at the tattooed abdomen. your cunt clenched around him, cream falling out of you at just the sight of the red ink tattoo with your name right where the thing that kept him living beat. “you got it. your a big girl mama” fully entering you with one stern pump, he sat still using the pad of his thumb and swiping your red lipstick lips before kissing you hard.

hunger was behind the kiss. it was so powerful that you couldn’t help but moan, his lips sucking on your tongue then pulling back quickly with heavy breaths. you two just started into each other eyes, no words but loving looks- all until connie abruptly put two fingers in your mouth and started to fuck you hard.

“s-suck em. show me how you suck on my dick” he watched your every move throwing his head back when your tongue swirled around the tattooed digets, spit dripping down his knuckles. “mmm just like fuckin that” he praised you, balls slapping against your ass and fingers going deeper into your mouth until her heard your gags.

the roughness did something to your body, it drove you wild so mucb that you began to bob your head, spit gather in the bands of your new commitment of till death do you part. “y-your mine, shit m-maaa!” you stared at how he was starting to slow down, his hips never stoping its speed but just growing sloppy from him being close.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head clenching around one good time before your squirt got all over connie. he was slowly losing the toughness, your pussy only getting wetter and tighter that he had to quickly romve his fingers and stuff his face into your neck, whining from how good everything was feeling.

his pierced - sensitive nipples rubbing against your hot skin making him sigh from shock. his cock let out ropes upon ropes of seamen, that was for sure impregnating you. while all of that was happening, your rubbed your now husband giving his soft loving kisses. so often containing a moan from how full you were feeling.

#connie x black reader #connie x reader #connie smut #connie springer x chubby reader #connie springer x black reader #connie springer x reader #connie springer smut #plug!connie #aot x black reader #aot smut #aot x reader #aot x chubby reader #attack on titan x black reader #attack on titan x chubby reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan smut #anime x chubby reader #anime smut #anime x black!reader #x black reader

[princessbrunette]

you couldn’t help it. he was your dads favourite friend. yours too.

above all, you felt safe with him — perhaps because he was the youngest of the bunch, it felt there was a more mutual understanding between the two of you. it was no secret that he loved to flirt with you, between offering you trips on his boat to your dad — likely just to get you alone, and the often implications he’d throw into casual conversation when you’d mention another boys name, along the lines of “listen kid you don’t need a boy you need a man. these suckers aren’t gonna satisfy you, can tell you that for free.” as he inhales cigarette smoke, fingers drawn to his lips outside at a work party for your dad that you’d invited yourself to.

he’d pulled up in that expensive car of his that you loved so much after you’d called him, begging him to pick you up. he even gets out the car to open your passenger seat door, taking note of the way you were more tipsy and loose than usual, tits practically falling out your top. “jesus, be careful would you?”

once driving away, you notice him licking his lips, glancing at you as he shakes his head disapprovingly.

“what’s that look for?” you giggle, rubbing at your thighs to warm up. the action makes him clench his jaw, flicking on the cars heating system just a tad — just so you’d stop tempting him. despite all the flirting, he was never quite sure if he could risk going through with it with you. he couldn’t lose this job, not after his own father had cut him off after starting his thirties.

“fuck are you doing out at this time, huh? does — does your dad know?” he blinks obviously at you, glancing away from the road for a second and you notice his hands tighten on the wheel when he sees the way you’re gazing at him.

“no! i’d like to keep it that way. i didn’t tell him ‘cos i didn’t wanna get in trouble. you’re not gonna get me in trouble right, mr cameron?” you lean over the centre console, tilting your head like a sad puppy. his eyes flutter in irritation and arousal, and he tongues at his cheek.

“nah… no… and i already told you to quit callin’ me that shit when i’m not working. it’s rafe.”

“mm, okay rafe. terribly sorry.” you smile to yourself, sitting back in your seat. there’s a short silence, before his curiosity gets the better of him.

“so— so who’s party was this anyway? you hangin’ out with boys?” his eyes slide over to you at the red light, his handsome features illuminated by the red glow.

“what if i was?” you tease and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head and lifting a hand off the steering wheel in exasperation.

“just a question. alright?” he thinks for a moment. “n’i told you already not to do that. trust me — okay — i was that age. it’s bad news for you… m’just tryna help you out here.” he resigns, shrugging.

“maybe you just want me all to yourself.” you walk your fingers along his leg — and this time he actually laughs, but it’s nervous, looking out his window as if to avoid looking at you all together. “wha’s funny? you’re the one always flirting with me.” you bat your eyelashes but he stares straight ahead, eyes hanging low.

“are you wasted?”

you sit back in your seat, arms crossed. “you should be nicer to me you know. i’m your bosses daughter.” your tone is braggy, chin held high with dignity.

“yeah, you’re my bosses daughter. s’exactly why i cannot be too fuckin’ nice to you, okay? can — can you do me a favour here? i’m trying to do the hard thing here and act right. if i did what i really wanted to do you’d probably just go runnin’ off to tell daddy, so… please.” he rants irately, a stiff hand held up between you. you stare at him, your bratty pout transforming in a conniving smile.

“what do you wanna do to me, rafe? ‘said if you did what you really wanted to do… so tell me what you want to do to me.” you lilt, turning your body in your seat which made your skirt hike up a little and your tits press together. he sighs, dropping his head for a moment and scratches his cheek at his slip up before giving you a warning look.

“don’t ask me that shit, okay?”

“i wont tell, i’m really good at keeping secrets.” you smile brightly, and he continues to stare — nearly missing the light turn green.

“that right.” he deadpans and you nod.

“mhm. anyways, funny story — i’ve been getting really good at my stretches. totally unrelated, but you know i can get my knees up by my head now? i’d show you, but there’s not much space here. there’s probably… a lot more space in the backseat.” you lean forward once more, and he continues to stare ahead, driving. “c’mon, rafe. don’t you wanna see? no one has to know.”

“alright, okay — shit. you want it so bad, i’ll give you what you fuckin’ want. jesus— you know, it’s about time you learn to stop teasing grown men, understand me?” he swivels the wheel, briskly pulling into a parking lot nearby and parking the car so haphazardly that you jolt forward when he pulls the brake. “what — are you havin’ second thoughts? huh? no? get in the back before i change my damn mind.”

“okay, rafe.”

“and thats mr cameron to you now, a’ight? go on.”

#divider by gigittamic #okay but dbf!rafe with bratty spoiled ex prom queen cheerleader kook reader !!!! my new fav thing #dbf!rafe #rafe cameron prompt

[nexusnyx]

rhythm and blues

I'm thinking about this Joel.

The one whose world didn't burn and collapse around him. Whose daughter is alive and well, and who can't stand 2010s music. He complains about the top 40 all the time, refuses to keep up with technology just out of spite of how overwhelming it's all becoming, and most all, he has no idea how fucking charming he is.

I can't stop thinking about no-outbreak!Joel who works to put his daughter through the best college, but at some point, came to realize he needs to be home as much as he needs to make money. The Joel who compromised because he loves his daughter enough to listen to her and realize that paying for higher education is not everything, and all she wants at the end of the day is her dad, and some quality time with him.

This Joel still drinks too much coffee, but he now goes for a run — for balance. He administrated his work better, hired more people, and now he goes out with Tommy every now and then. He ventures to bars, to a concert here and there, goes to every single one of Sarah's volleyball games.

This Joel still laughs when he puts Sarah in trouble. He still second guesses many of his choices, his memory is terrible, but — he's alive, and he's okay, no matter how hard everything is around him, because as a good dad, he raised a good daughter, and Sarah never lets him forget the fact that he's a catch.

"If I'm a catch, then why don't I got a date, hm?"

She answers. "Because you don't want to. Don't think for a second that anyone misses the way you and your "partner in business" are around each other. The staring, the giggling, the stuttering — mostly on her part, but still — it's an eyesore. At this point, I think watching you two make out would be less bad."

Tommy laughs so hard he falls off the kitchen stool that morning. He even lets Sarah drive his car to school because, "Good lord someone finally said it! I'm your fan, girl. Hop on, you fuckin' rock."

This Joel is just as talkative — which is to say not much — but he still feels speechless.

He knows he's good-looking. Okay, at least. He never had trouble pulling someone at the bars he goes to. Never had issues talking to the people he's interested in, but the thing is — feelings are hard. They're a whole other field, and Joel has no great knowledge in this one.

But he wants to.

Because love for him is work.

Love for Joel is putting in the effort. Like a house — you build it from scratch, and the better the soil and preparation, the firmer the result. When he met you, Joel felt the ground disappear from beneath him, only to be replaced by the most beautiful base as the days went by.

You spoke his language. Never minded his silence. Always included him in the jokes, and never let people at the firm make a joke at his expense. You complimented the team like a miss puzzle piece, and Joel was left stagnant at the realization that he could see love being part of his life again.

But this Joel is stubborn. A little insecure. He postpones his rehearsed scenarios of asking you out — chastizes Tommy for pestering him about you, and then feels guilty about it. This Joel only wants to find a window.

All he needs is a single window...

— a/n: do you guys think about him too? no-outbreak!Joel rented a penthouse in my brain.

#no but really. i can't stop thinking about no-outbreak!Joel #send help #usernexusnyx #joel miller #joel miller imagine #joel miller headcanon #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #tlou imagine #tlou headcanons #tlou fanfic #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller au #joel miller drabble #joel miller one shot

[the-archetype-of-civilization]

Fourth rewatch of ATSV, y'already know:

-SPOILERS AHEAD!-

The name of Gwen's band being "The Mary Janes" is cute. Kinda sad that we don't see any form of a real Mary Jane, though.

George lightly and gently punching Gwen's doorframe when he says they got a "breakthrough in the Spider-Woman case. I can feel it" is so realistically portrayed. A man that's driven by justice and wanting to do right by his daughter, the hand gesture kinda says it all, honestly.

I FINALLY FOUND THE FUCKIN' TRANS FLAG, JEEZ I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME 4 SESSIONS TO FIND IT.

When Gwen lands inside the Guggenheim, she slides in and her left foot is on the tips of her toes like a ballerina. I can't believe I've talked it about so much IRL that I didn't point it out here. But yeah, really badass.

"Hey, who left this ATM on the sidewalk?!"

There's a food cart called "Mothershuckers," I think.

Jess and Peter are terrible mentors for bringing their babies (one of them unborn!) into fights!

The student councilor's calendar has a funky lil' dog on there with sunglasses (I think).

When Miles says "whatever" to his parents, Rio's face was FELT. And that head movement was so on-point. It's crazy how human this movie is despite it being animated.

A Puerto Rican friend of mine said that a lot of the food at the party was instantly recognizable. That and the fact that a lot of the older generation HATE being addressed by their first name, which works well when Rio calls out Gwen saying hers.

Jeff trying to fix that cat balancing beam in the councilor's office and seeing it fall each time kills me.

Miles twiddling his thumbs nervously when he almost reveals himself to Rio is so realistically portrayed, I love the hand motions in this movie.

Gwen's avoidance to answer Miles' questions directly, or even at all, really irks me, especially when Miles has some very personal questions ("What are you doing here? I thought I'd never see you again..."). STOP LEAVING MY BOY IN THE DARK.

Speaking of Gwen, it honestly really bothered me how Gwen acted in this movie when it came to other people (being so nonchalant to Miles' parents, that awkward and sudden goodbye to Miles before she goes to find Spot, etc), like she's acting like such a child. But now, I genuinely think that she's just socially awkward, which I should've probably put together already considering she barely has any friends in her world and (presumably) doesn't talk to many people except for other Spider-People that are (again, presumably) just as awkward as she is.

Like, WHY DID SHE CHOOSE TO REVEAL HERSELF TO MILES' PARENTS WEARING HIS HOODIE AND THEN BEING LIKE "Uh Miles is missing, I dunno where he is. Bye!" GIRL, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT. Her promise to them and telling them that Miles loves them was nice, though.

Rio cupping Miles' face in her hands during her speech and Miles chuckling and smiling breaks my heart, man. If that ain't a mom thing to do ❤️ And I would smile and laugh just as much if it was my mom, too. I still think about Rio's speech, even today. It's that good.

Jeff climbing up the water tower to meet "Gwanda" and bumping his head into stuff and hurting himself was hilarious and I can't believe I didn't notice until now.

Miles hyping up the empanadas to Gwen was adorable. And his hand gesture was cute, too.

Miles' goodbye to Gwen is even more heartbreaking because you can see the tears welling up in his eyes. WHY WOULD YOU HURT MY BOY LIKE THIS???

There was an interesting parallel (don't know if it was intentional) where Gwen was hit by Spot and was falling in Mumbattan, Miles catches her and carries her before he drops her and reaches to save her. But when Miles is escaping from the Spider Society, Gwen catches Miles and Miles intentionally breaks the web and free falls instead, shaking his head at her. Gwen trusts Miles, but Miles doesn't trust Gwen anymore.

Bro, Miles can't catch a break with the damn snitches (the students ratting him out to the guy's office in ITSV and that woman on the highway in ATSV). Glad he called her out, though. Though, if there was a big scary Spider-Man with claws and arm blades on my car, I'd probably do the same just to get him off and away.

Miles rubbing his cheek in embarrassment when Rio appears in front of Gwen was so good. And his face when he goes "MOM!"

Something about the way Miles says "You have to let me go" to 42 Miles is interesting. I can confirm I saw the acrylic stand of Miles Morales Spider-Man in 42 Miles' apartment. I wonder if 42 Miles looked up to Spider-Man or something, maybe there is some history that we don't know between him and Spider-Man in some way, which is bizarre since there is SUPPOSED to be a Spider-Man there but isn't.

I like how Mayday took a crap when Miguel held her heheh. He IS the establishment. "Yup, she's a Parker" says Peter. Lmao.

There's several scenes where Miguel is talking about the canon to Miles with everyone being pretty close to the center, while Hobie is the farthest from all of them most of the time. And he's kinda facing away from them with his head being turned to face Miles. Shows how he separates himself from the society, but is only looking out for Miles right now.

There's a really cool YouTuber that went really in-depth with Gwen and George's conversation when Gwen returns back to her world and it's really insightful. Shows her lack of communication skills in general (and that it, unfortunately, seems to be hereditary, as well). He even talks about the damn penguin. Crazy stuff. But he makes a great point that Gwen actually genuinely smiles after talking to her dad, more so than even being with Miles. It's really sweet.

I dunno why, but I feel for that guy running the food cart when Gwen and Miles take his hot dogs and just dips and gives them cash (letting him keep the change). Just feels inconvenient for him, despite making a profit. I dunno, the guy looked like he was really befuddled and I felt for him lol.

The current Prowler's theme (42 Miles) being Miles's theme in reverse is insane.

Someone else pointed it out, but Pav threading the damn needle through a broken poster was SLICK.

Speaking of threading the needle, Miles almost messing up when he dodges the truck and screams out is hilarious. It honestly sounds like a reused scream sound file that he did in ITSV.

"I don't believe in consistency!" "This guy's killin' me..."

I didn't point this out in my third rewatch but the "It's a metaphor for capitalism" line was completely lost to me until I heard it then. Fucking perfection.

Pav saying "I can do both" when he sees Inspector Singh in trouble while trying to rescue Gayatri is heartbreaking. Miles says the same thing to Miguel before being shot down by Peter ("Not always."). At first I 100% believed that there was no argument that could be made against Miles, but realizing that Pav said that when he (literally) had his hands tied with Gayatri and couldn't rescue Inspector Singh until Miles came in, I'm not so sure anymore. It doesn't sway me in the other direction (being that Miles is in the right), but now it's much more clear that it truly is "not always."

I can't believe that in an Indian dominated Manhattan (Mumbattan), they STILL allowed to have that British museum up.

"I wanted to be with you guys so bad...but this thing isn't what I thought it was." I can't tell you how much I love this boy and how I will kill anyone that hurts him like this. So fucking uncool, guys. UN-FUCKING-COOL!

When Miles is talking to 42 Rio, he says that he's "stronger now because of you [Rio], because of dad" and 42 Rio says something in Spanish that sounded like the equivalent of "oh, sweetheart..." lovingly. Shit hurts, man.

Miguel against the dark rainy night under the large "WELCOME" sign is peak cinematography, next to Gwen and Miles under the clocktower.

I had to cut down some stuff because the text limit sucks. I got others and all that, you know how it is.

Second rewatch.

Third rewatch.

Final act.

#spider man #spider man across the spider verse #spider man across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #atsv #spider verse #spiderverse #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #miles morales #gwen stacy #peter b parker #peter parker #jessica drew #rio morales #aaron davis #miguel spiderverse #spiderman #spider man atsv #spiderman atsv #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spider verse

[youngmoviemaker]

Elemental (Pixar) Thoughts

Okay so . . . I think I have gathered my thoughts for Elemental after seeing it four (yes really) times over the weekend. Spoilers incoming.

I wasn't expecting much from the movie, hell, I wasn't even going to see it but I had just gotten out of watching Spiderverse 2 for the second time and wanted to watch something cleanse my pallet. The trailers and marketing didn't really get me excited as it just came off as a bland Romano & Juliet esque film with the main hook being the characters were made of elements. Then there were the first few early reviews I've heard that called the film bland and another miss for Pixar.

So you can say i had low expectations going in.

But I was so so wrong.

I came out of my first viewing tearfilled, giddy, and gobsmacked. The film that was being advertised was not the film I had just watched and . . . I loved the film I had just watched . . .

The whole conflict isn't romantic shenanigans between cute Ember and sweet Wade, although that is important part of it . . .

It's about Ember being the child of immigrants, growing up in a city that wasn't built with her people in mind and which can be down right terrible to her just because she was born fire. It's Ember's struggle to live up to her family expectations and trying to be a good daughter all while slowly discovering that thing she spent her whole life preparing to do, wasn't what she wanted to do.

Ember's journey is very touching and relatable, leaving me to think about it hours after the film.

Then there's Wade and by extension, their romance.

Wade is honestly one of the sweetest and most loveable romantic interests I've seen in a long time. He's very attuned to not only his emotions but the emotions of the people around him. He's not afraid to cry and goes out of his way to cheer up those around him. The chemistry between him and Ember felt natural as they slowly fell for one another.

If I hadn't saw the trailer with him trying to help pick up her headphones, I honestly wouldn't have expected him to become her love interest. They start off in conflict with him writing citations for her father's shop but he ends helping her in her quest to get the tickets overturned.

The looks in this film is godtier, like, they were able to make elements so expressable (Wade being my favorite with how they were able to convey that he holds his heart on his sleeve.)

And it felt very refreshing that there wasn't a main villian (cough cough Zootopia cough cough). The main conflict is character driven by the choices and consequences of Ember.

It's genuinely making me sad that this film is being panned by a lot of people as being bland Pixar and boring.

I really hope that the film does do well at the box office. It deserves it.

And just because a film has a simplistic plot, doesn't mean it's going to be bad. It's the execution of it that matters. Pixar is known for this.

For me, film was refreshing drink of water on a pleasant summer's day.

Okay quick fire of my favorite moments and or scenes:

• The soundtrack was really good! I loved the scores that had singing in what I think is suppose to be firish? It provokes Atlantis: The Lost Empire vibes in me and that's my favorite score of all time so I see that as a plus.

• The openning scene of Ember's parents immigrating to Element City really set the tone for the film and was done really well.

• Wade giving his uncle the "that was uncalled for/are you fuckin serious" look whenever the uncle mentioned Ember speaks so well. The rest of the family is AwkwardPartyReactionMeme.exe.

• Yes customers can be that stupid and infuriating in real life. They were able to capture that so well. I feel you Ember, I gotta deal people like that everyday, it sucks.

• Butterfly, Windshield Wiper, Half . . . A Butterfly

• Wade really pulled out all the stops, nearly freaking confessing his love for her infront of his family who had just met her just to win a game. Like damn, you go dude.

• "I made you a painting of a sad man . . ." Uncle gives Wade a painting. It's of Wade crying.

• Ember's mom being able to sniff out love is hilarious to me.

• Kiss me I'm Firish

I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO WRITE THIS ONE! BLUE FLAME FORGIVE ME!

• Act of God or an act of Clooooood.

#elemental pixar #pixar elemental #rant #thoughts

[mylittleredgirl]

favorite and least favorite parts of each trek, with absolutely no thought put into it before making this list:

🚀 classic trek favorite: the ~aesthetic~. fuckin LOVE big chunky plastic buttons and beepy things, the mini-skirts, the sparkly metallic fabric, the whole deal. least favorite: janice rand leaves forever :( :( every single appearance she had was BONKERS how am i supposed to experience that and then ever hope to fill that void 🪐 tng favorite: soooooo soothing to know that our guys will always be both kind and correct and at the end of the episode i will learn something about how to be a better person. also romulans are there. least favorite: shit fuck i shouldn't have started this post because i'm already drawing a blank. ok ok i hate that the ship's counselor role got nerfed into a "therapist on the bridge" when it's actually so so important!! that needed to be explored so explicitly that dudebros on the internet have to shut up about it forever ⚾️ deep space nine favorite: THE CHARACTERS MY FRIENDS. the cast of dozens where every single character right down to the randos on the promenade are great. headed up by benjamin lafayette sisko and kira nerys, truly characters of all time least favorite: dukat's insanity/pah-wraith arc. like i do get why this narrative parallel makes sense against sisko as the prophets' emissary but also, it's bad. 🥔 voyager (that's a leola root by the way) favorite: i LOVE the early seasons where everyone is so adorable and spunky and they're just tooling around the delta quadrant being terrible at making friends. also tuvok is there. least favorite: kes leaves forever :( :( i hear you out there saying "fury" but come here. look at me. look at me. kes leaves forever. 🛰 enterprise favorite: controversial actually but i love t'pol's arc. i DID NOT love it as it was airing because watching poor jolene blalock having to act her way through ever more demeaning episodes is painful and terrible, but t'pol is magnificent actually? the fish out of water vulcan finding herself in foreign waters?? self-destruction on the way to rediscovering her own personal relationship to logic??? imagine if we'd got three more seasons of her with manny coto in charge it would've been glorious. least favorite: can we PLEASE do something with hoshi and travis i am BEGGING. also physically painful what american jingoism did to captain archer but i might have emotionally coped with it better if travis got lines. 🍄 discovery favorite: michael burnham is the light of my life she makes me cry out emotions that have been buried since i was in utero i don't even know. also the changing opening sequence my beloved least favorite: need one of those serial killer string boards to figure out what's going on sometimes??? can't say that too loudly tho because the discovery haters can smell blood in the water 💃 short treks favorite: THE CONCEPT I LOVE THIS least favorite: more??????? :( 🥷 star trek picard favorite: seven of nine in comfy sweaters kissing a girl filled holes in my life i didn't know were there!!!?!?!?? least favorite: don't like when picard is a jerk :( don't like when no soji and elnor :( :( :( 🤪 lower decks favorite: every second is a relentless outpouring of love for star trek, it's like a sleepover where all your friends are sitting around talking about how much they love tng except your friends are 900% funnier. least favorite: i have a hard time with cartoon violence sometimes so i get TENSE and also badgey haunts my nightmares for real for real 👨‍🍳 strange new worlds - actually i have only seen the first episode despite posting about it as if i have seen all of it haha my bad SO favorite: new star trek to watch!!!!! least favorite: now everyone knows i haven't watched it yet and i am losing trekkie credibility babes 😬 👩‍👧‍👦 prodigy favorite: rok-tak my DAUGHTER least favorite: that feeling of being in a warner brothers cartoon and there's an anvil above all our heads with J/C DISCOURSE painted on it just waiting for the show to make a wrong move

i swear i must have forgotten at least one series there is so much star trek now??? anyway feel free to make your own post about this, i am curious!! if you absolutely MUST i suppose it's ok to think about your answers for more than 30 seconds.

#this is the ask i was like maybe someone will send me this :) :) #so i have an excuse to rattle it off without thinking #and then i went oh right this is the post without thinking website i can do this myself #star trek #WAIT WAIT CAN I GO BACK AND ADD THE LIL DISCOVERY ROBOTS

[doritoscene]

What would be the reactions of Misclickduo when they meet up on purgatory?

Let me tell u people that this is 100% a situation of 50/50

This mean that we can be so back or it's joever, this cuz Mariana and Slime are so messy and they can't communicate but they love eachother some much.

From Mariana's reaction i can give the possibility of him so happy of see Slime and talk nicely to him show him how much he has been missing him or where he's also happy but afraid or even terrified of him cuz Mariana definitely knows that he left Slime alone to much time and everything is not like it used to. Even i can imagine where Mariana knows that he would mad at him because of the death of their daughter.

50% of him searching for Slime to talk finally and 50% of him getting scared and trying to hide from him at least at little bit.

Even i can imagine a Quackity situation where Slime dies thanks to Marian's team and this makes him resent him or trying to kill him just to steal some of his stuff even if it's not good. But I'm not really sure at this one.

For me Slime character is kinda difficult to understand because of his roleplay, Mariana is kinda more easy to read thanks to the fact he likes to go chill but when we are looking at Slime idk when he gets in serious/playful roleplay especially when Mariana is around cuz these mf can talk about feelings even tho they are DESESPERATE FOR EACHOTHER.

But again 50/50, 50% of Slime in shock or so happy that they would search for Mariana just to talk to him or "MY FUCKIN BITCH WIFE?!" And seach for him but just to kill him.

But even if everything start messy they would talk, even if they are just screaming at eachother.

I think it would start really terrible in my opinion, they haven't see eachother for months so i think is really low the possibility of they meeting in good terms like when the Brazilians appear for first time i think that when they more talked, shareded and were being happy in general but even that time they had a mini fight. So heres the proof. If I'm honest they would definitely be together when they meet up or try to be together sometimes during the day.

#slimeriana

[apatheticlexicographer]

BYLER FIC REC WEEK DAY 1: POST-CANON recs

All We Need Is Time by SlytherinsAndSnitches

will-centric; some plot. one of my favourites, it’s “friends to enemies to strangers to ???” will has depression, and in the three years since S4 he’s drifted from the entire party. he and mike had a bad falling out, but when they become coworkers at the record store they’re forced to reconnect. as if that wasn’t enough, will is starting to show the signs of vecnafication. the angst is deliciously agonizing and the plot is just starting to kick in. multichapter, just came back from hiatus a few days ago

the gaps and the silence by delusionaltogether

will-centric; no plot. the supernatural events of S4 never happened, but mike’s awkward visit was basically the nail in the coffin for their friendship. will never left lenora, and he’s now busy majoring in art and avoiding people as much as physically possible. he’s taken off guard when mike, who shows up in town with the sole purpose of reconnecting with him, casually admits he used to have a crush on him. the mutual pining is stronggggg and neither of them are smooth T_T longshot, complete

Lost Without You by Julia_Skysong

alternates between mike-centric and will-centric; some plot. will and mike are 26 now and haven’t talked in years, since mike disconnected himself from the entire party. will has a career writing comics based on their experiences with the upside down. mike surprises him when he brings his 7-year-old daughter to one of will’s signings, causing them to reconnect. this fic deals with a lot of heavy topics about homophobia, trauma and addiction but it’s not a constant misery-fest. will and mike’s reblossoming friendship is very sweet and mike’s daughter is adorable. the burn is slow but it suits the story perfectly and feels a lot more healthy and organic than rushing into things. love isn’t framed as a cure-all for their issues, and i really appreciate that. multichapter, ongoing

I’m a Wreck (Without You Here) by TalkingToTheLights @talkingtothelights

mike-centric; some plot. 33 year old mike has been distancing himself from his friends and family for years, but a tragic death forces him to return home and confront everything he’s been hiding from. the angst is strong and MCD is part of the core premise, but i promise it’s not will who died. mike is a mess for real. multichapter, ongoing

the darkest hour by AmberEyedFox

mike-centric; no plot. mike finally gets his head out of his ass after he breaks up with el. some of the headcanons in this fic aren’t what i typically gravitate toward, but it’s written in such a captivating way that i don’t care. the byler is soft as hell, what more do you want from me. long AF twoshot, complete

The Crossover by nbfutureboy

will-centric; plot. the party are all grown adults now. will writes horror comics and mike is in a band. they haven't talked in years, after an explosive fight. they're both slated to attend the same convention, but will's plans to avoid mike are derailed when he mysteriously vanishes. the mystery is so cool! multichapter, ongoing

Path of the Paladin by olliecoddle

mike-centric; sorta plot. 23yo mike has a terrible fuckin time! the fic. featuring ted wheeler's funeral, mike's very messy relationship with will, his even MESSIER relationship with his sexuality, and copious amounts of D&D lore as a thematic framing device. multichapter, ongoing though it's been a minute since last update

I Didn't Run, I Was Not Done by ryoukootonashi

will (and richie)-centric; plot. when will goes to college his assigned roommate is richie, who keeps overhearing will talking about the weirdest shit to his friends. richie is still suffering from clown-induced amnesia and would really like to know what the fuck is going on. another "can't believe it's not not crack!!!" fic lmao. multichapter, ongoing

#bylerficrecweek2023 #bylerficrecweek #byler #i said it was colour coded ToT

[nightingalesighs]

White as Snow, Red as Blood and A Sin Worth Hurting For?

So, I’ve talked about both of these on my defunct writeblr and I think you even helped me troubleshoot White as Snow? But they’ve both changed a little.

White as Snow, Red as Blood

(CW: intimate partner violence, murder, cannibalism, infidelity)

The tagline for this fic is “This was always going to happen. She He’s been dead since the beginning.”

This is my Bluebeard retelling in which a woman is in an abusive relationship, and she’s gone to her father multiple times for help but he just brushes her off. So one night, she gets fed up with her husband’s abuse. Murders him. Panics a little. And her cook comes in as she’s standing over the body covered in blood. And obviously, they gotta get rid of the body.

Well. Meat is meat, yes?

And so. Our main character eventually goes well. That was. Satisfying. Decides her father gets the same treatment. And so she feeds him her husband (unbeknownst to him), kills her father.

And she has a sister. Whom actually *wanted* to marry. Who loves her husband dearly. But. Well. Her husband cheats and this breaks the sisters heart but he always promises he’ll never do it again. Yknow. And well. It’s not like she can just divorce him anyway.

But our MC decides to murder him too. More meat!

And it sort of ends by setting this scene of all their bones that she has displayed in a room.

I wanted to play off how like. The message of Bluebeard could be how one is meant to obey their husband. Not be curious. And I wanted to flip it to be like. Well. If you treat your wife or daughters terribly…chances are good you’ll get your shit rocked. It’s also partially inspired by the anecdotal things of how before like. Women could divorce their husbands, you get those husbands dying under mysterious circumstances or just “accidents”.

A Sin Worth Hurting For

(Infidelity, student/teacher relationship, age gap)

This is my sapphic tragedy, partially motivated out of spite because of the fuckin purity brigade insisting all queer media has to be unproblematic, Good Rep, and just the sort of general theme of wlw relationships being soft and good uwu. But also because I just want a fuckin queer tragedy.

ANYWAY. It was previously called ‘Lumen’. And basically, a photography student falls in love with her professor and said student also catches the professor’s eye. They start an ill-advised relationship. And despite said professor cheating on her husband, the relationship is pretty good for a while but it does eventually deteriorate.

Aside from the spite, I just wanted to explore how dating your professor would actually go in reality. How…putting too much of your self worth into the art you create is detrimental to your mental health. And also just how fucking AWFUL academia can be. I’ve started and restarted and plotted and replotted this fucker too many god damn times. And I’m still reworking it right now 😂

ANYWAY. Thank you for the ask friend 🖤

#writing #wip game #ask game #adventures in the inbox

[spacejams]

midnights (3 am) ask prompts

this masterlist of prompts was created as part of the rph server's 2022 gift exchange for @caffeinatedresources / @elitemikaelsonheiressqueen !

lavender haze

"meet me at midnight."

"all this shit is new to me."

"the only kind of girl they see is a one night or a wife."

maroon

"how'd we end up on the floor, anyway?"

"and i chose you."

"how the hell did we lose sight of us again?"

"that's a real fucking legacy to leave."

anti-hero

"i get older, but just never wiser."

"i should not be left to my own devices."

"tale as old as time."

"you got tired of my scheming."

"it's me, hi."

"i'm the problem."

"it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero."

"sometimes, i feel like everybody is a sexy baby."

"i have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money."

"she thinks i left them in the will."

"she's laughing up at us from hell."

snow on the beach

"i saw flecks of what could've been lights."

"it might just have been you, passing by."

"life is emotionally abusive."

"and my flight was awful, thanks for asking."

"i'm unglued, thanks to you."

"weird, but fuckin' beautiful."

"tonight feels impossible."

"to hide that would be so dishonest."

"it's fine to fake it 'til you make it."

"i don't even dare to wish it."

"can this be a real thing?"

you're on your own, kid

"i play it cool with the best of them."

"he's gonna notice me."

"it's okay, we're the best of friends."

"i hear it in your voice."

"i didn't choose this town."

"i waited ages to see you there."

"you're on your own, kid. you always have been."

"i gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this."

"you've got no reason to be afraid."

question

"big city, wrong choices."

"fuckin' situations, circumstances, miscommunications."

"can i ask you a question?"

"do you wish you could still touch her?"

"it's just a question."

"what's that that i heard? that you're still with her?"

"that's nice, i'm sure that's what's suitable."

bejeweled

"i think i've been a little too kind."

"putting someone first only works when you're in their top five."

"by the way, i'm going out tonight."

"familiarity breeds contempt."

"baby boy, i think i've been too good of a girl."

"i think it's time to teach some lessons."

labyrinth

"it only hurts this much right now."

"i'll be getting over you my whole life."

"you know how scared i am of elevators."

"you know how much i hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back."

karma

"you're talking shit for the hell of it"

"karma's a relaxing thought."

"ask me what I learned from all those years."

"ask me why so many fade, but i'm still here."

sweet nothing

"they said the end is coming."

"everyone's up to something."

"i found myself running home to your sweet nothings."

"all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing."

"on the way home, i wrote a poem."

"i'm just too soft for all of it."

mastermind

"what if i told you none of it was accidental?"

"what if i told you i'm a mastermind?"

"all the wisest women had to do it this way."

"if you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

"no one wanted to play with me as a little kid."

"this this the first time i've felt the need to confess."

"i'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care."

"you knew that i'm a mastermind."

bigger than the whole sky

"'cause it's all over now, all out to sea."

"you were more than just a short time."

"i've got a lot to pine about."

"i've got a lot to live without."

paris

"your ex-friend's sister met someone at a club, and he kissed her."

"turns out it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago."

"all the outfits were terrible."

"did you see the photos?"

"i'm so in love that i might stop breathing."

high infidelity

"i didn't know you were keeping count."

"do you really want to know where I was april 29th?"

"seemed like the right thing at the time."

glitch

"we were supposed to be just friends."

"you don't live in my part of town, but maybe i'll see you out some weekend."

would've, could've, should've

"if you would've blinked then i would've looked away at the first glance."

"and i damn sure never would've danced with the devil."

"now that i'm grown, i'm scared of ghosts."

"now that i know, i wish you'd left me wondering."

"but, lord, you made me feel important."

"you tried to erase us."

"you're a crisis of my faith."

"i miss who i used to be."

"i regret you all the time."

"i keep on waiting for a sign."

"I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep."

#rphservergifts #ask prompts #midnights ask prompts #ask prompt #lyrics prompts #ask memes #ask meme #long post

[sharonisthebettercarter]

How about a Dracula!Miguel X Villager!Peter au? Peter's aunt May is gravely ill and the only way for Peter to get the money she needs for her medical bills is to agree to become the vampire lord's thrall and resident blood bag (or in this case bride).

YES~!! YESSSSSSS~<3<3<3!!

you shot this up WRITE~<3 up my alley and i LOOOOOOOVE this and i'm postin' it now cause HAPPY HALLOW'S EVE~<3! yes fuck THANK YOU<3 (i queued the others with some other stuffs~<3 you'll see them soon enough lol)

i love this.

absofuckinglutely~<3 especially, ESPECIALLY.

if miguel is that same kinda means well horribly constipated bastard who like legit wants to help but social ineptitude~<3 especially bein' a vampire.

or

he expects peter to be *terrified* and peter's just... he's just not. and an absolute shit that handles every fuckin' thing like a goddamn PRO, or is even getting on the vampire's nerves and eating a TON of garlic to try and get the vampire to dump him because he's such a terrible bride.

maybe BOTH~<3! ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

MAYBE~<3 aunt may's the REAL mastermind who know's dracula miguel's actual nature and talked to him first asking him to take care of her crackhead boi peter who she expects will not survive without her.

hell, miguel could even be the doctor treating her and peter could be suspicious of him, maybe he's just supposed to 'marry the handsome 'doctor' to pay them debts<3' as hwas the old hways~<3 miguel could be keeping his vampiness a secret~ that peter is on the verge of discoverin' while miguel only really accepted because of a cultural thingy~ (other villagers expecting him not to treat aunt may/being salty if he does without the money/being buttheads about it/rich white dickholes throwing their aristocrat daughters at him CONSTANTLY and peter~ is his easy escape from that bullshit<3)

lmao, this could go so dark and i just went full crackhead on it i'm sorry but i'm also not cause leik THE OPPORTUNITY~<3!!

could still def have dark elements for sure~<3 but i love the kinda crack that comes with peter boo and the spoodermans~<3

let's talk about vampirism tho~<3 one trope i love~<3 is the *sensations* that can come from *feedings* tho<3 they can be painful... or~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

maybe that's something peter didn't *quite* expect but really really very much enjoys~<3

but miguel, just... y'know, he won't actually bone him. so peter has to change tactics to ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

wear the vampire down let's say.

even better. even better cause y'know the mpreg is comin' like it always does...

peter's a 'bride', and that could mean a number of things. always game for a/b/o<3 maybe peter is a little wolf~<3 and doesn't know it ;))))))))))))), maybe peter has diluted but somewhat special blood that made him particularly attractive to the vampire~<3 (i believe in dracula's case, something of scent was involved with his obsession with mina)

fae, witch, wolf, mutation (as an origin for vamps i love exploring mutation, maybe peter is a new born vampire in the making like miguel was and the *perfect* mate for him because always yes for me<3)

or~

maybe vampires are just freaky freaks who can impregnate other dudes and that's why miguel doesn't quite wanna bone peter who definitely wants to be boned but also kinda does wanna bone him and is trying so hard to resist but leik peeeeteeeeerrrrrrrrr~<3<3<3

bottom line... mayday. gabriella. any other vampy babies~<3 imminent<3<3<3

... maybe peter *was* just supposed to be a blood bag and he fucks it all up to high hell by getting miguel to fuck him--

;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

not gonna lie, kinda wanna write this one but i STILL have work to be done and at least wanna do just ONE butchlander fic~! (and now i'm on a half sterek kick fuck mah life--)

IDEAS FREE TO USE~<3<3<3!!!

#happy hallow's eve! #halloween #spooky season #spiderdads #miguel o'hara #peter b parker #delicious #fic ideas #fic prompt #yes #vampire #precious anon #brilliant #mpreg

[stellahaze135]

i’m sure the grown ass adults that have been groomed as adults by people who were, say, their bosses, older family members, or older partners feel SO overjoyed at you making a post telling them that they’re using the wrong word for their trauma. you care SO much about real life victims that’s why your post was raising awareness about real life grooming and not about a more than decade old video game

1.) Again, that’s not grooming, that’s manipulation. There’s a difference. Grooming happens when a power dynamic between an adult and a MINOR is clearly inappropriate. It doesn’t even have to be sexual in nature however and unfortunately most of the time it is. When an ADULT coerces another ADULT it’s just that. Coercion and manipulation. Because an adult has, generally, a grip on what is morally and socially right and wrong they can’t be ‘groomed’ or as the old awful saying goes ‘teach em while their young.’ Grooming is shaping a CHILD to the gratification of whatever adult is preying on them. Manipulation and Grooming are two different things.

2.) Ya know how I know? I was groomed at the age 5 by my uncle, who no one in the family but my mom believed could do such a thing, but then went on to do the literal same thing to his own minor daughters years later. And because of that and coming to terms what was done to me I was able to get out of a relationship with a partner that was just as manipulative. See how I said manipulated because as an adult (neurodivergent and mentally ill as well) was still able to be aware of the clear power imbalance between the two of us (me being neurodivergent and sexually inexperienced at 24 and him being a self admitted ‘troll’ with much more sexual experience than I a virgin, spoiler alert real life trolls are just as awful irl as they are on the internet in my experience.) and before it got to bad I was able to get the fuck out. Only took him back once for like a month and then it was splitsville for real.

I understand my situation to some people could be relatively tame. But trauma is trauma baby, and that shit leaves deep deep scars that even today in my 32 years of existence still struggle DEEPLY with. A huge fuckin chunk thanks to my uncle who now rots in jail, and truly hope he dies there. The man in many ways has ruined my life as a happy healthy human who can trust and love freely, but here we are. 32 aroace who can’t form meaningful relationship (especially with irl men) because that fucker shattered my trust. (Not to mention the slew of shitty friends.)

So I’m sorry ANON, but who the hell are you to tell me what I know from first hand experience.

This is what happens when you start spouting terms that aren’t meant for the statement. It gives when people say ‘my ocd is soooo bad I’m just such a neat freak.’ But the person with ocd is like ‘excuse me what do you know?’ Even about fictional characters and video games. Because art reflects real life.

Do you REALLY think that after everything that has happened in the last three years that RE5’s plot and setting will really go over that well when it is eventually remade? Even if it’s Chris fucking Redfield, a white man shooting down a bunch blacker than black AFRICANS infected with a ‘zombie virus’ when the word zombie originated in black culture of Haiti will go down well? Like I’ve come to adore Resident Evil but there is some more problematic shit than a grown ass morally wrong woman getting manipulated and played by an equally neigh even more terribly morally defunct man.

Thank you.

#ask #resident evil #albert wesker #re wesker #wesker #re albert wesker #re excella gionne #excella gionne #re5 #trigger warning #sensitive topic #mentions of grooming

[sweetsmalldog]

Castlevania: Nocturne Episode 6 liveblog

While the episode is loading I read the synopsis and hope Sypha or Trevor get mentioned if not by name by Sypha being how the Belmonts got Speaker Magic

Oooh moon

DROLTA!!!!

This is my favorite Drolta outfit now I love the blood red coat with the white pants

Idk what the horses are doing

Oh is that the Messiah?

Drolta’s hair looks so good

She’s got daddy issues for the fucking sun

Oh this poor lady

The shot of the snow white skirt spread around them while she drinks that poor woman’s blood is absolute cinema

“Please call me anything but grandad” This man has given me Trevor vibes if Trevor was old the whole time maybe it’s just a Belmont thing

Ritcher deserves these answers actually yeah why was his mom sending him to Tera and not you old man?!?!

I take back what I said about him having Trevor vibes Trevor was funny even when he was depressed at least

A deal?!?!?!

So you’re a stalker old man

It is a bit creepy

Tera has a lot to tell both these kids

What is it with the Belmont family always been alone and when they have family not being one

How many “Last of the Belmonts” has their been at this point?

I feel so bad for Maria and Ritcher. Tera is all they had and now they find out she’s been keeping this kinda of stuff from them, straight up lying to Maria about her dad and agreeing to never let Ritcher know his grandfather was alive and around

YOU OWE HIM SOME FUCKING BIRTHDAY PRESENTS YOU ASS

Ritcher my boy I’m adopting you too actually all your guardians keep hiding important shit, You and Maria are my kids now. Tera can visit but you don’t half to see her if you don’t want to

“Your a Belmont your not supposed to hide in a hut. And you’re not supposed to kill vampires for money” FUCKIN TELL HIM RITCHER

SYPHA MENTION LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“And she left you out” that’s so cold I love it

“I was the best magician the Belmont line ever produced” yeah and Sypha would be so disappointed in you now

Oooh this is why Ritcher can’t do magic either shit

“Evil will always win, Ritcher” ONLY WITH THAT FUCKING ATTITUDE

I hope Ritcher figures out how to use his magic again, I hope he proves his grandfather fucking wrong

Please don’t give into this Ritcher please

My son nooooooo

He looks far to fucking happy about Ritcher sobbing I fucking hate this guy actually

Ooooh Annette’s doing magic!!!!

Ritcher isn’t useless he’s just traumatized

“It’s the source of your fury but it’s not the source of your power” that’s such a good line holy shit

I love this contrast between Ritcher’s grandfather tearing Ritcher and the idea of the Belmont’s down with Annette’s mentor builds her up, speaks of her ancestors well and their strength and how hope isn’t lost

“There is light in this darkness”

Edouard voice coming in ;-;

Hi Olrox!

Why do they keep killing all the gay people?

It’s a bit soon to talk about immortality together Mizrak

“I’m not in love with you” damn ok

YOOO THEY REMEMBER!!!! ISACC WAS ALWAYS RIGHT HE KNEW HE KNEW!!!!

NIGHT CREATURE REBELLION LETS GO PLEASE

Maria my daughter he sucks he isn’t worth your time

I fucking hate the Abbot so fucking much

MARIA RUN GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN PLEASE

Olrox ripping this entire facade down I knew there was a reason I liked you

Hiiiiii Drolta <3

Please don’t hurt my daughter Drolta

NIGHT CREATURE REBELLION!!!!

OH FUCK OFF OLD MAN LIKE YOU CARE

Oh Ritcher-

Yeah you were a terrible father you fuck

DID HE JUST LEAVE HIS GRANDSON TO DIE?!?!?!

OH FUCK ITS THE GUY DROLTA WAS HANGING OUT WITH

IS HIS AXE A GUN?!?!?! THATS SICK

The old man is actually just pathetic ok

The flash of Julia fuuuuuuuck

Why don’t the vampires ever try to turn any of the Belmonts?

If Maria dies I will be distraut

HIS MAGIC IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GO RITCHER!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO SICK!!!! THE ONE GLOWING EYE THE MUSIC CINEMA!!!!!

THE BLUE FLAMES!!!!!!

LETS FUCKING GO RITCHER LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I may have a new favorite Belmont… sorry Trevor

“I half to live”

The sun rising and the burning river and the headband flowing in the wind I fucking love Castlevania this is so damn pretty

#castlevania #Sam watches Castlevania #castlevania nocturne

[oodlyenough]

the last of us 1x06: kin

surprisingly don't think i have a ton to say about this ep of the last of us but i feel like i should continue posting for posterity at this point lol. (eta: i said that, then started writing my thoughts, and wrote a gazillion words anyway.)

side note: any canadians watching on crave? isn't it fucking terrible. trash service

anyway: 1x06!

continuing to enjoy joel and ellie a lot. the further we get into the show i think the more they've come into the roles and evolved into their own versions of the characters, which is fine. good even. i think bella ramsey and pedro pascal have very fun chemistry together, and i think bella carries the comedy beats really well, which means i've been enjoying seeing more and more of those. i also really like those scenes because they feel familiar without being complete retreads of the game dialogue (which inherently invites me to make comparisons on delivery, etc)

so this joel is much more openly vulnerable. i think this change works to go with what we've seen in the show so far and places where the show is presumably going. and, i'll be honest, i find show joel a much more likable character. 🤷🏼‍♀️

the "not my daughter" scene hit differently... tbh i think it hit less, but not really through any fault of the show's, if that makes sense. it's just one where beat by beat i know the words as delivered by troy and ashley and my brain is super imposing them

loved the opening with the Indigenous couple, they were so funny, and the idea of florence seeing joel puffed up like an angry bird and identifying zero threat and making him soup lmfaoooooo hkghlkg. honestly w game joel i don't think that would work, lol, but w show joel it did. such a funny way to use the map easter egg, and the "there are firefly people?" followed by the couple laughing at their own joke killed me lol

also loved ellie's indignation about how they probably don't know anything because they're "a thousand" and they don't even know the fireflies, who are probably a total nonentity outside select QZs. extreme kid energy. they haven't even HEARD of paw patrol can you believe it. what do they know. also, congrats to them escaping joel and ellie mostly unscathed... minus a rabbit. (rude, ellie.)

show maria was great idc. imo game maria is not much of a character, so the show had plenty of room to expand, and i liked how they did it. i see some people reacting badly to her skepticism of joel and forgiveness of tommy, but we also don't really know what exactly she's been told by tommy. maria being pregnant is also a more solid reason for why tommy can't take ellie than we got in the game.

i can't really evaluate tommy or maria as characters without factoring in part 2 and at this point there's enough difference that who knows where the show will go with tommy and maria in s2, so, it's all kinda fair game imo

the university scene felt a bit rushed but i guess there really isn't that much to do there when you're not rearranging dumpsters and killing infected. it was the first time the show felt notably rushed to me, and i suspect that feeling will get worse in the back third of the show. ah well.

joel's injury and the fight felt anticlimatic compared to the big action set piece of the game, BUT i think it worked much better in context (joel's explicit fears in this ep becoming manifest), and also, game joel's injury is sooooooooooo ludicrous and video game it just wouldn't work on tv lmao. i kind of wish we'd seen ellie land any of her shots on those guys, but i have my theories as to why we didn't. tbd

misc other thoughts:

diva cup scene... excellent. was worried about those musty tampons.

SALLY FUCKIN' RIDE lmaoooooo ellie. u lesbian. ilu

like everyone i was beyonce.gif DINA?!?!?!? in the cafeteria scene. 100% that was dina, there's no way it wasn't. it might not be the final cast actress (i can see them not wanting to cast a major role so far in advance for a cameo, and they have a time skip to justify any appearance changes), but as a character that was surely meant to be dina. ellie that's ur WOMAN

we're 10000% getting some other cameos in the finale. i'm ready 👀👀👀👀👀

lastly: can't wait for this weekend's episode. the one i've most anticipated. left behind DLC my beloved...

#the last of us hbo #the last of us

[deathcarpets]

i had what was probably one of the last real sessions i’m ever going to have with my therapist who’s been my off and on therapist for the entirety of my transition today and i kinda want to journal about it a little

we talked about life over the past few weeks and what my life is going to look like in the future because we both know i’m going to be moving in a few months which means we won’t be able to do sessions anymore (though we do want to keep in touch) and how i feel like i’m at so much of a more stable place than i ever have been in the 8 years i’ve known him. almost every session with him this year he’s just been beaming with pride at the person i’ve grown to be since i’ve known him, ‘cause he’s been there for all the ups and downs of the most turbulent period of my life.

then we talked about last weekend. saturday I saw the film Transexual Menace at the local film society, it was about the activist group but was mostly about members of the activist group and their lives, not about their activism. and what we talked about was about how much of the movie felt like it could’ve been shot a week ago just as much as it felt like it was shot 30 years ago. these people reminded me of friends of mine and the things they talked about, the ways they lived their lives, their hopes, the dangers they faced in the world, all felt like the world we’re living in now. there’s a part of that that makes me happy, connected to them, but there’s a part of that that makes me so fucking sad.

i woke up the next day to the news of the colorado shooting. and i heard Leslie Feinberg in my head talking about the Hudson piers and about how it was a gathering spot for so many trans people and about how many trans peoples bodies were in the waters underneath them.

i’ve had this thing in my head about transitioning post-puberty and how for whatever difficulty that brought me it hopefully made things easier for trans people who are younger than me or who just came out after me because being another out and proud and beautiful trans person makes things a little less frictional. and it’s easy for things like colorado to feel like backsliding but it’s not. it can be if we let it but what it should be is the terrible growing pains of a new world that we’re building together.

my therapist is trans, too. he actually told me when i brought up Leslie that he shared an elevator with her one time. he brought up in a recent session that this year, with me being 31, i’m as old as he was when he transitioned. and that opened up something huge for me. him being himself when i came to him as a nervous as fuck 23 year old wreck was a huge part of what gave me the confidence to transition. and me being me i know for a fact, because i’ve been told it, has helped other people find themselves.

he told me about a friend he has with a trans daughter. little girl, like 4 years old. growing up in an environment with loving, supportive parents who are doing everything they can to make sure  she gets to be who she wants to be

he talked to me about how he sees humanity itself as an organism and about how trans people are this beautiful growth in what humanity is capable of. from there i fucking went on a weird tangent about the x men because of who i am as a person

i’m gonna try to sneak in at least one more session with dwight before i move. what a fuckin incredible dude