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inlocusmads · 11 months

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I NEED to talk about Koisenu Futari. It got QPRS and platonic love RIGHT, much much better than whatever those "romcoms" are doing these days. It's got one of the best possible aroace representation and like, watching it before Pride Month literally brought tears to my eyes because it's so rare to find a show that acknowledges aromantic and asexual people, much less asexual people. AND THEY GAVE US TWO AROACE CHARACTERS.

Here are some things I liked about the show:

Found family tropes. Yes. Like it's this slow transition of getting to know each other and knowing each other's limits. The main protagonist, Tahakashi is touch averse and it is explicitly acknowledged!

THE MAIN CHARACTER FIGURES OUT SHE'S AROACE IN EPISODE ONE AND MOVES IN WITH ANOTHER AROACE IN THE SAME FUCKING EPISODE. It's literally the validation you need!

Aroace Panic so well described! There's this flashback scene where Takahashi is persuaded by his ex girlfriend to propose to her and his hand just trembles with the ring. And there's another scene where Sakuko's ex partner sort of like coerces her into doing the "deed" with him and she's just like ".... Help." There are so many of these struggles and they're just so perfectly described.

BOTH AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL REPRESENTATION! Like it doesn't go into just the aro or just the ace bits. Each episode tackles a whole different scenario, from amatonormativity and allonormativity. For example Sakuko's sister has a second child and she faces pressure from her family to do the same or when both Sakuko and Takahashi had terrible experiences with "doing the deed" if that makes sense.

ALL THE INSIDE JOKES, ALL THE FOOD!

The best coming out scene ever. Like Miss Sakuko here isn't holding back. No, she's sick and tired of people telling her that life's only ever complete with romance and sexual intercourse and the human urge to reproduce and love because of course, love is the most natural thing ever! I was just cheering for Sakuko during that scene..

The FOOD. And there was even a cake reference too!

The aros and the aro-aces have claimed the cabbage. I repeat, the aros and the aro-aces have claimed the cabbage.

SO MUCH FOOD.. It's how they show the other that they care! Takahashi and Sakuko are literally the epitome of efficiency. Like it's not even Day One and they're already going on about sorting out how they'd contribute to living together. They're also super understanding of each other too. Like Takahashi prepares this extensive aro-ace questionnaire to help Sakuko understand herself and help Takahashi understand her so he doesn't overstep - MAH MAN. In this house we encourage questionnaires.

Healthy relationship with exes! I know it's quite uncommon to pull that off but both Sakuko and Takahashi's ex partners actually come to an understanding as to why their relationship with the characters ended. Sakuko goes on to forge a healthy friendship with her ex that starts out kind of shitty and horrible but goes through the best character development ever. Same with Takahashi's ex. She goes on to actually help him with his dreams and aspirations.

That ending scene with Sakuko and her mom. It literally brought tears cuz like, I don't know if my parents would be accepting of me or ever digest the truth that I'll never marry much less have a child and like - it's just one of those things that hits you in the feels.

SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. like everyone goes through a change! It isn't just about being aroace and thats it. Takahashi helped Sakuko through figuring out her identity and in return, she helps him by persuading him to chase his dreams while she holds down the fort. Like they LITERALLY define their relationship as a family. They are a family and like, there's this scene in episode one where Sakuko goes "yo you wanna be my family (subject to change) cuz like yknow you can bail or something yeah yeah but like my parents are not accepting and this is the only place I'd go, so --" THE GALL BLADDER.

Sakuko supremacy.

Takahashi supremacy.

Kazu-kun supremacy.

Literally EVERYONE supremacy because like, this show actually describes a near-perfect world scenario where yes, the people around Takahashi and Sakuko are imperfect. Yes they say hurtful things because they were raised by a society that was systemically built on the hallmarks of a conventional relationship. And then, they actually understand it. They learn their ways and they offer a better support system. Especially Kazu-kun.

The process of figuring your sexuality out and the doubts that follow it. Like all those questions about futures, kids, a family - everything hits you. It hits you harder if you're an adult.

Being aroace as a teen is easier than being aroace as an adult, especially if you're brought up in Asian cultures where marriage is celebrated and hailed into religion, so defying marriage and the conventional route of life would be like defying religion. This show encapsulated everything. The figuring out is pretty easy. The hard part is what the future holds.

So. Much. Food. And yes, food is definitely better than messy romance and sex.

No but like it actually bonds these two characters. Sakuko's estranged from her family for most of the show and she learns to build it back, sort of use food as her bridge into building a family that supports her at the very heart. Takahashi being passionate about gardening, incorporates his dreams and aspirations of having a career in agriculture into the food he makes. It's just so beautiful.

Squashing the "aro-aces are heartless monsters" implications. Sakuko is literally the embodiment of sunshine and Takahashi is literally a golden retriever if you get past his initial discomfort with people.

They are so diverse in their character archetypes, while challenging what society wants them to do. They're both so kind and considerate towards each other, which is such a bold statement because Sakuko's family were pretty much her only support system before she came out and Takahashi's grandmother was his supporter after she passed, which just broke him.

So many creative projects! Among gardening, cooking and making PPTs for work, there are so many other interesting fun little cultural tidbits scattered throughout the show. The characters show their unique perspective on things by doing a particular activity. See? It's clearly proven having aroace characters clearly cuts down the time needed to write a love triangle around for them, which gives them more time to work on cool stuff! (jk jk)

That shopping scene has its own fanbase, with Sakuko finally opening up to Takahashi about her past with Kazu-kun, the red coat, Takahashi's extensive shopping itinerary - it's just -- yknow, fuck those memes that go "what if we kissed under the rain?" I want someone to go to local shops with and get a bunch of coupons and go absolutely ham.

THE CONSTANT GREEN AND PURPLE COLOUR PALETTES. the costume designers were clever. They chose a lot of colder, more wintery tones for Sakuko like reds, browns and purples while surrounding Takahashi with a lot of greens and blues - Its LITERALLY THE AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL FLAGS COMBINED.

THEY END UP SHOWING THE AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL FLAGS IN THE SHOW, THE ONE WITH THE GREEN STRIPLES AND ONE WITH PURPLE. LIKE THEY LITERALLY SHOW IT IN A SCENE AND IT IS LITERALLY THE MOST VALIDATING THING EVER.

Just everything about it, down from the setting to the characters to the plot. It's literally my comfort show now and nobody can take that away.

Family (subject to change) Supremacy no because it is true. Their definition of family is far from what we've all known it to be and they support each other in good times and bad - bro, why marriage when you can just qpr? Jk jk jk.

I heavily implore you watch the show. If you are aroace, run, don't walk. If you aren't or maybe you're somewhere on the asexual or aromantic spectrum, give it a shot as well.

I promise it'll change the certain ways we conventionally think relationships and a life built on love and sex are about. It's eight episodes long, each episode is about 25 minutes and it's got English subtitles at this website called Kissasian. You should be able to Google Koisenu Futari watch online and find it at the top of the page.

Happy Pride month, especially to aces, aros and everyone in between! You're all so valid and so very welcome at Pride.

Its always weird cuz like, you've got so many people out there celebrating love and us on the aromantic/asexual spectrum - we just.. we just don't do that. But it took me a while to understand that having a lack of attraction is as valid and as equal as having it and just realising that, just turning to hopeful representations like Koisenu Futari among many others, it makes you think it'll be okay.

#koisenu futari #asexual #aromantic #lgbtqia #pride 2023 #ace pride #aro pride

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elvenbeard · 10 months

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Maybe the biggest gift is the friends we made along the way 🎂

Happy Birthday, V!

Was staying up way too late and getting way too emotional over these fictional gonks last night, but yes... I've wanted to do a bigger scene like this for so long, and what better occasion than male V's canon birthday today!

These aren't all my favourites from the game (the sofa wouldn't be big enough for it xD), but the people Vince would like to invite over for the occasion for sure, let it be a year or two down the line when they all actually are in the same area at the right time and come together like this (and uuuhhh... obvious problems with one certain ex-bodyguard set aside and solved because I said so!). It would really be a special thing to have everyone there that's been with him during one of the worst times of his life. Thanks to them (amongst many others) he even gets the chance to celebrate another birthday.

Some more ramblings about some of the interactions I'm picturing here and why I placed everyone the way I did under the cut xD And some more pics to come in a separate post later :3

Front and center obviously Vince and Kerry and Judy, my faves, my loves <3 I think this would probably be one of only a handful of times Kerry ever meets Judy in person. He only ever hears her over the holo and knows her from what V told him, because she left Night City before they got a chance to meet prior to the game's endings. I think they would go along so well though, and besides Kerry, Judy is the person Vince feels closest to out of the group pictured here, and he'd be so excited to know Kerry and her get along as well.

Then Judy and Panam... I lowkey ship it so hard, and I mean, they would make one power couple, but at the very least I think they'd become good friends, maybe Judy even travels with the Aldecaldos for a while or joins them, like in the Star ending when she's romanced.

I put River in the back and center cause he's the biggest of the bunch and I think he'd love being there, watching over everyone in a way (and keeping an eye on Takemura, cause he doesn't trust him xD). I'd like to think him and Viktor get talking about boxing, workouts, maybe make plans for a friendly sparring match. Maybe they've even met before on some occasion, only just realizing it now. Viktor is btw out of the whole bunch the person Vince has know the longest, almost as long as he knew Jackie in my background story for him.

Goro keeps himself in the back because he definitely is the odd one out of the bunch (probably didn't wanna come in the first place), but maybe he's starting to realize this moment that a life without Arasaka is not the end of the world after all. That there's always room for new beginnings, no matter how unlikely it seems (but he's still gonna give V shit, and V is gonna give him shit, obviously XD they're bickering like an old couple probably, much to Judy's and Panam's amusement who previously were rather wary of Goro).

Then a pair I only really got thinking about when I set this up were Misty and Kerry because... It does kinda make sense, and I think they'd get along really well? Like, Vince and Misty have known each other for a few years, and he likes her a lot, but he's not as close to her as he was to Jackie for example. She was definitely a positive guidance throughout the whole mess in 2077, and he really appreciates her for always seeing the good in everything. And I think Kerry would be a bit confused about her in the beginning, but since he also has spiritual leanings I think they'd find a lot of common ground. I also think Misty would just treat him as Vince's partner, some guy, not be all in awe about him being famous - aware of it, but ignoring it, because it does not matter in the grand scheme of things how rich and famous you are but whether or not you're a decent human being.

And Nibbles is there because she lives there, obviously, this is her penthouse, her sofa xD Needs to make sure everyone behaves!

I had been thinking about including Rogue in the scene, but then I also thought... she probably wouldn't come xD Be like "nah kid, thanks, but you do you", and she's not that close with Vince on a personal level. Same goes for Claire, I love her so much, and while I think she and Vince get along very well, they're not as close (or maybe she just didn't have time).

I was pondering also if I wanted to include Jackie and Johnny in some way, because they can't be there physically for known reasons (and even though Vince wouldn't have invited Johnny just to annoy him, Johny would have come anyway to annoy him back, so there's that XD). Decided against it in the end because the ideas I had would have meant more editing than what I was ready to do just now, but I have some more ideas with Vince and Jackie and Johnny that work better in a different setting anyway.

if you've read this far, here's a piece of birthday cake 🍰

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ecoamerica · 15 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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ink-splotch · 7 months

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Hi!!! I just wanted to tell you that seeing your new game reminded me that Stay? exists and that it's soooo good. It's been a while since I played it, so I don't remember the details, but I do remember being amazed at how much variation there was, how every detail was perfectly woven into the story, and how human the characters felt despite us not getting that much time to know them. Plus, I personally love war plots, and yours DID NOT disappoint. I also really loved how the different "career paths" impacted your story, and just how many different details and paths you could get depending on what you did at every step of the way. I don't know, I just remember liking it a lot and feeling really accomplished once I managed to beat it.

Also, out of curiosity, who are all the LIs? In my lifetimes, I remained pretty faithful to Myka (love of my life, she was so great!!!), but I imagine Esteban, Jo, Suzette and Gemma to be romanceable. Did I miss someone else?

Another question I have is: how did you get the idea for the game? And by that I mean, what was the inspiration for the plot and all the different characters + why did you even decide to make a CYOA in the first place?

Because, again, it was incredibly good and I'd like to know which stars do I have to thank for it existing.

Anyways, once I'm really excited to play More a Haunting than a History, and I just know it's gonna be as great as Stay? was!

Thank you so much and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

Hello there! Thanks for writing me. There are five major romanceable characters in Stay?: Myka, Esteban, Jo, Gemma, and Suzette. Technically, there are some minor romanceable NPCs (ex. the different folks you can live your life with in the "fuck off into the hills" ending), but those five are the main gist of it. The main five can also also each be platonic life partners for you, rather than traditional romantic partners, if that's more your style.

Myka is my wife's favorite love interest in Stay? by far, so great taste.

Stay? actually has a very clear origin story for me. My friends and I played Outer Wilds, which I highly highly recommend, and I was so delighted by its balance and structure that I wanted to see if I could make something built on the same bones. I drafted up my @sortinghatchats quiz to get used to the ink system, and then dove into Stay?. It was the most fast/obsessed I've ever put a story on paper (so to speak) and I admit I may still be chasing that high.

I built the basic structure first, and then added on the setting, characters, plot macguffins, details, etc. on top, trying to interweave and connect them. I like how it turned out. The plotline with the southern lands, to be vague for spoilers reasons, was actually a very late addition and I think it, in many ways, is what made the game work for me.

I hope you enjoyed MAHTAH! It's a very different game than Stay?, in some ways; and I'm proud of myself in different ways in terms of what I tried to build there.

#mahtah #ejadelomax

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columboscreens · 1 year

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i was asked recently about my top three and top ten columbo murderers who i think most deserved their fate. after wrangling with the tumblr post editor undoing my text changes and fucking up my photo placement, i finally finished the post. everything looked good in the drafts, in the queue, and in the blog preview.

then for some ungodly reason tumblr published the rough draft version of the post i'd written weeks ago anyway. i got so frustrated i yelled expletives and nuked it. so i'm starting anew. without further ado,

here are the top ten piece of shit columbo murderers who absolutely deserved it:

justin rowe & cooper redman, columbo goes to college: truly, i hate these two scum-sucking motherfuckers the most. they're brats, yes, but look at the absolute dogshit stakes at hand. all the other murderers in this show are killing for true love, power, multimillion dollar fortunes, careers of great prestige--usually for that upon which they've staked their entire lives. these two tar pits blow their professor's brains out because they Got Bad Grades, which was their fault to begin with! they bully columbo mercilessly. i can't even look at them without wanting to throttle them

dr. barry mayfield, a stitch in crime: though his reasoning for murder starts out with at least some comprehensible amount of dignity, he quickly devolves into one of the most evil murderers of the series, not only by trying to off his research lead, but for causing so much collateral damage. he kills his nurse for knowing too much, sure, but killing her poor vietnam vet ex who's trying to shake his perc addiction while working at the petting zoo is…almost comically evil. it's no wonder columbo gets visibly fed up with his shit.

commissioner mark halperin, a friend in deed: god this guy is such a huge piece of shit. he's a spectacularly corrupt cop, covering for his friend's manslaughter and then using it as an excuse to drown his own wife for her money--to make it worse, his wife is somehow an absolute sweetheart angel darling who spends all her time working with underpriviliged children and people of color. then he's dumb enough to let columbo, the star detective with a 200% solve rate, work on the case, while also openly disparaging and discouraging him. utterly contemptible.

nelson hayward, candidate for crime: in typical politician style, so plastic and two-faced that he's not even a real human being. cheats on his adorable wife with a 20-year-old floozy and then gets mad at his clearly fantastic campaign advisor for wanting him to get a grip and fix his fucking marriage. then he shoots him about it. then he tries to make everyone think he's in danger--and he's such a rutting, lying pig that his own wife clearly believes columbo more than she believes him.

sean brantley, columbo cries wolf: i'm not sure if there exists a more smug columbo villain than sean brantley. uniquely repugnant in that he uses and abuses columbo to generate a media frenzy, then mocks and embarrasses him on international television. uniquely moronic in that when he actually DOES do a murder he hides his partner's body in…his own wall? with her smart watch still attached to her wrist. actual dirt man

dale kingston, suitable for framing: total piece of shit who always thinks he's the cleverest person in the room. says the absolute dumbest shit about art all the time; as in, literally everything that comes out of his mouth makes you want to curbstomp him. the girl who loves him gets kind of scared about being an accessory to murder, so instead of being reassuring in any capacity, he brains her with a big rock. this man deserved impalement

paul galesko, negative reaction: starts off the episode SO sympathetic when we see how bitchy and abusive his wife is, then immediately vanquishes all sympathy by being the most annoying, insufferable fuckhead at all times. fucked around with yet another 20-year-old floozy, killed an ex-con who was trying to rebuild his life, and planned everything poorly. is terribly mean to columbo…

milo janus, exercise in fatality: a complete fucking slimeball with vanishingly few redeeming qualities. kills a guy with his bare hands for even suggesting cooked books and then taunts his estranged widow about it by...asking her to fuck? (in all fairness--he has to maintain Quality. when he grows? you grow). it's no wonder that columbo loses his shit and yells at him

emmett clayton, the most dangerous match: seldom talked about in these conversations but he is so smug and killed one of the least deserving columbo victims because…he's a massive fucking coward who is incapable of losing. pathetic! get over yourself! plus this guy was like Ooo i am so Extremeley Jeanius but when columbo diverted his attention for like five seconds he lost to a fucking fool's mate. literally the quickest way you can lose a game of chess. real bobby fischer swag you big goofy ass bitch. grow up moron

harold van wick, playback: just the most abrasive fucking asshole the entire episode. insufferable proto-tech bro who is mean to beautiful radiant sweetheart gena rowlands and not even in the smug columbo murderer way, just an old school ableist/misogynist who openly says shit like why should i allow my dumb disabled wife to Make Decisions. doesn't even pretend to be nice to columbo at any point and not in the charming robert culp way. loathsome garbage heap of a man.

honorable mentchies go to jack cassidy nazi magician, evil french chef, pedophile johnny cash, weird italian polycule artist, and both william shatners. fuck you

#this one took me a while both because i had to think about it and also because tumblr blows #columbo #ask #text #longpost #probably shouldve oriented this 10 - 1 vs 1 - 10 but im so done looking at this post i don't care

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asterjennifer · 5 months

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I'd like to talk about not wanting children.

A topic that really isn't spoken about enough, to the point it's hard to imagine I'm not alone with that mindset.

People always tell you, especially when you have a partner, that "in my age" ( 21) they didn't want them either. And that it'll come with the ages.

But I mean it when I say it. It's not just the typical "not right now at least" or "Nah not really interested" type of thing.

It's an actual fear for me.

I fear pregnancy the same way I also fear sexual assault, that is the same panic that spreads through my chest when only thinking about these things.

I don't know where that expressive fear comes from — might be trauma, might be personal priorities. All I know is that the mere thought makes me consider (rather want even though I'm not sure I could) I'll get rid of my life.

My reasons are something I've been discussing with my boyfriend before.

Worrying, since he'd like some maybe, at least one day, that he'll leave me because I don't.

So he asked me about it.

I have my reasons.

As a slim and thin girl, I've had to get the premature birth needles even though I was born at the right time.

I'm fragile to the point I don't believe my body could handle this kind of task in a healthy manner.

And if I lose my life, or my health for another person... Will I be able to enjoy parenting when knowing they either ruined my own life, or ruin that of the people around in case I would die?

The world is becoming expensive where someone like me, someone from a more poor background, thinks about children twice.

Children are unbelievably expensive.

And I want to persuade my career instead of a family.

I want to make a good living. Provide for my mother when she is older without worrying about a child.

I wish to have my own place, animals and make lots of travels with my saved money.

Persuade a career I love and live my life for myself.

The earth sadly gets destroyed and the aftermath of global warming already settles in today.

How could I not feel selfish knowing that these conditions will get worse from here on out, yet think I want my child to grow up in a climate disaster affecting their lives in every way.

How do I know I'll be a good mother? The thought of growing an human being is a lot of responsibility I don't trust myself with.

I have a little brother, and I'm neglecting him already. Depsite me loving him.

So how do I know for a fact it won't happen to my own child?

If I'd be a mother, I want to be a good one. But if I cannot trust myself to do it, then why shouldn't I listen to my intuition.

We talked about these. And he had points, too.

Adoption is something he brought up and I feel already much more okay with that.

We're overpopulated and so many poor children, who are not to blame for their fate, seek a good home. I understand that.

We talked about the raising part. How he says I'd be a good mother and he would give his all to be a good father.

He wants to be someone who has a well-payed job. He doesn't think I'd have to worry about these.

But how do you know the future? And for a fact this will be the case?

He agreed to some of my points, as I understood that he's right in some as well.

It scares me to think I'll be judged by people for deciding this.

But he respects it.

“What if one day, you want them so badly you leave me...?”

I asked him one evening. And he replied softly.

“I can't calm your fear in that regard as I don't know what will happen in the future... But right now we are going the same path. All I want is to be happy with you.”

Was his reply.

To all women out there:

If you don't want children and have your reasons, don't think you're alone.

Although we always see happy family's on the internet, and that often being portrayed as the goal in life — it doesn't have to be yours too.

Don't give up on your decision for someone else. And don't let people talk you into guilt.

You have nothing to but guilty of.

The only people who are guilty are the ones bringing bias into the world and who make their children miserable.

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bonojour · 5 days

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actually makes me sick how much s06e10 "wilson" is house/wilson coded. like yes i am a humanities student who will happily dive into source material and theorize over narrative elements and yes sometimes i look too much into it, but i truly believe that "wilson" is so undeniably about their love for each other. i really feel like a core element of this element and showing wilson's pov, is to show wilson's genuine love for house. we had seen it from an external view with his sacrifices for house, letting him stay in his room (and taking care of him, even if a psychiatrist decided he should have that role), even trying to hook him up with cuddy because he genuinely believes that house will be happier for it, but "wilson" just displays his feelings to the whole world.

first of all, i just love how you come to see how entwined house is with his regular life. i know they are throwing it on thick for the gag and because house is the main character, but the dynamic of the oncology ward and with cuddy where 'house' is the main theme of conversation, and the way the nurse knows house his antics enough to structure wilson's attempt at doing his regular job around it - it's really fascinating.

but the narrative in this episode?? it so obviously draws parallels. the two most noteworthy are in wilson and tucker's respective relationships with their loves ones, and in cuddy moving in together with her partner and house and wilson going appartment shopping.

tucker looking over at wilson after the surgery and saying: "but the person you want when you're dying, isn't the same as the person you want when you're living.", right after house shows up just before wilson is being put under (and does the tiniest little smile). oh gosh. it really reads as wilson needing the dangerous procedure (as stated by both house and cuddy) to realize that the person who he wants when he is dying is house - and ultimately for wilson, that type of gesture expands to setting his priorities in life. i think for wilson, realizing that he needs house when he's dying, is realizing he also needs and wants house when he's alive. (i'm not looking at season 8 but i am side-eying season 8).

and THEN the whole bit between house and wilson

"...but moving in together is a whole other level of commitment." "

"I realize that the logical course in any adult relationship could one day lead to fornication." and them ending the episode looking for an apartment together? i don't know how wilson's brain got chemically altered, but this man needed to do a liver transplant to probably acknowledge to himself how fucking meaningful house is to him.

and then there's just the rest of the episode, with quotes such as:

Wilson: It's exactly what you would do.

House: I'm me. You're you.

Wilson: ...And a table is a table.

House: And chemo is poison. And double chemo is double poison. And I can handle it when things go wrong. You *can't*. And things could go very *very* wrong.

Wilson: I can handle it.

(that is house his way of trying to protect wilson from himself, which in previous episodes just really, really seems to be one of house his major love languages)

and the most important:

Wilson: The operation is in 2 hours. I'd like you to be there.

House: [Long pause] No.

Wilson: What? Why?

House: Because if you die, I'm alone.

They love each other. They are so dependent on one another. House is so open with his feelings in S6. I'm going to throw up, actually.

and then just a bonus:

House: Is it that time of year again?... He's a self-important jerk.

Wilson: He's my friend.

House: He's a self-important jerk!

Wilson: Seems to be what I'm attracted to.

I love them, your honour.

#text #not tagging this with hilson bc the meta is not serious enough #i just needed to dump this #going insane over season 6 #my bestie is at s1 so i am posting this so i can compare notes etc etc

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quicklikelight · 26 days

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... In light of the last thing I reblogged, since I'm not actually sure if I ever I ever told folks here...

Mental health/medical diagnosis info under the cut.

I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2010 following the birth of my son. I'd had anxiety, depression, and what I now know is OCD symptoms for years at that point, but they all got much worse after kiddo was born. I believe I've shared here before that I was very ill while pregnant, and nearly died before and during my emergency C-section that bright kiddo into the world. I have very few memories of my pregnancy but the ones I do have are impressed into my brain like the world's most depressing stamp collection: not neat pictures, but deep grooves that form shapes and can be laid over one another to see the cumulative chaos, the terror that I still feel every time someone puts a blood pressure cuff around my arm, the dissociation from my body that I still have because all I can remember was it hurting.

I had cptsd before I ever got pregnant, but my pregnancy made my symptoms so much worse, and a doctor who spoke to me for three seconds gave me the "convenient" diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I was a young woman in college, it was 2010, and he never asked me anything about my life. This diagnosis wasn't corrected until 2022.

I'm sharing this because in the past I frequently blogged about being bipolar. I wasn't bipolar though. What I thought was mania was just my behavior when I was triggered beyond my ability to ignore. What I thought was depression was... Well, it was depression. My life was miserable, my ex is a horrible human being who deserves to be thrown in a deep pit full of snakes, my family hates me and acts like it, I lived in Texas of all places, and on top of that I was working in a dead end job that I couldn't ever seem to escape.

In 2020, I was fortunate enough to move in with my friend LC and her family. We weathered the worst of lockdown together, our children becoming close friends, and I'm grateful for the time, energy, space, and love LC afforded me to begin recovering from a lifetime of wounds.

I'm 2021, I moved to New York state to live with my best friend, my heart's companion, @tofixtheshadows. Dea has been the best partner I could want as I grappled with my changing sense of self, the sheer madness and unreality of what my life used to be. I am so fortunate to call her my best friend and to be able to share my life with someone who knows me and wants to help me be better.

I found a psychiatrist in 2022 who changed my life when she said, "I believe everything you say that happened to you. I think bipolar disorder is a convenient diagnosis for a man to give a traumatized young woman when he isn't interested in doing his job well. You aren't bipolar, Anne. You have PTSD."

I was shocked. I shouldn't have been, since I already knew Dea thought I had PTSD. But it seemed so out of left field to me, that... Well, that maybe there hadn't been anything inherently wrong with me in the first place, as I had been led to believe, but that the years of horrible actions happening around and to me had just taken their toll.

It was liberating. Scary, but good.

I've been working with my psychiatrist and a therapist since to try and build more tolerance, better coping skills, and to process my trauma. It's slow going. Life doesn't stop because I need EMDR. But it's ultimately been so rewarding, and I'm still only in the early stages of the work.

Last year, for basically the first time in my adult life, I was able to go off of all my mood altering medications. I just didn't need them anymore.

I'm still in treatment and working toward goals that will probably take a while. But I am happy. I'm actually happy for the first time in my entire life. And to me, that's pretty much everything.

#about anne

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goldkirk · 3 months

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Greetings!

1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 11, 14, 15, 25, 29, 52, 60, 63, 76, 95, 97 and 99?

P.S.: I read your tags, so thanks for the compliment! :-D

oh my god this is so many, you're a riot hahaha! thank you for sending this in!

Most favorite activity?

This is so hard. I love so many things. I guess my best effort to sum a lot of things up would be "hoarding and organizing information in my notebooks), a beloved pastime from about age six to now lol.

2. Least favorite one?

Either brushing my teeth or touching wet dirty sink dishes while needing to hand wash them or load a dishwasher.

3. One activity you really hate?

I've been trying to think of one but I'm drawing a blank. I guess cleaning dog poop out of my shoes after someone has left dog poop on the sidewalk or another walkway.

6. Do you have any idols?

Nah I don't go in for that these days. I definitely have some people I admire or look up to. Not to any level I'd say idols though.

8. Favorite music genre?

Dance! I love all types of genres but I listen most often to dance music.

11. Which kind of animal are you most afraid of?

Hmm. AFRAID of...jellyfish.

14. Do you think there’s a higher species than us humans?

Nah, at least not on our planet. But I don't think we're particularly high among all species, I think we're just particularly unique.

15. Do you believe in ghosts?

As a weird subjective phenomenon some of us experience in our lives? For sure. As "ghosts are the unfinished-business spirits of human dead people", no.

25. Can you dance? Is there any dance you want to learn someday?

Not well anymore, but I'm working on it. I was in love with ballet and wanted to do it forever. I'd like to get back into ballet classes, for adults this time. It's still the way my body most wants to dance. I took a ballroom dancing course for a hot minute. We were allowed to do swing dances when I was homeschooled, so I got pretty good at swing dance and some swing dance tricks.

29. Good memory from your childhood you keep remembering?

The first time I saw a snake in real life and it was a woman in public wearing a snake while walking down the street and she didn't get mad I was interested, she totally treated me like a Small Human Being and answered my questions and LET ME HOLD AND PLAY WITH IT MYSELF. I was like 7 and this was a core memory for me, much to the horror of my poor family members who were with me at the time when I dead-stopped us all in a state we didn't live in in a city we didn't know to talk to a strange woman and bond with her over a huge larger-than-adult-size-feather-boa-scarves snake lmao.

52. Do you think there are some breathing beings on earth contained behind ceilings or walking amongst us somehow with special abilities or powers? (as in most sci-fi and fantasy books, comics, movies)

Man this would be cool but unfortunately no lol

60. If you would have the money to donate what would you donate for?

Oh god I literally have a list about this! I'd donate all over the place, but the first few donations would definitely be to a few grassroots charities I care about and the all the local food pantries and education nonprofits that I can.

63. On your opinion, what should people do about climate change?

Force industry regulations, despite all the kicking and screaming the firms and their political-system lobby groups will throw at all of us about it.

Create a fast-moving national campaign of interconnected state and local ecosystem experts that can partner with local landowners all over their area and any municipalities they can convince to help to rewild as much land as possible with the actually-native plants. MOST PRIMARILY IN THE BREAD BASKET. The soil has GOT to be replenished, and the native grasses store at minimum roughly two times as much carbon underground than any of the cash crops or hay or weed grasses do.

Seriously invest right now, immediately, right away, in any adaptations your area will need to make in order to cope better with the changing and intensifying storms, floods, water level rises, droughts, wildfires, deep freezes, heat waves, etc., anything and everything that your area will for certain have eventually impact it.

End unethical overseas labor systems and the cobalt mining/electronics burning/etc. markets that exist because of the inequity and greed at every level and continual corruption not being overthrown.

Drastically reduce all western meat culture and industrial farming to the normal, sustainable levels of meat eating human families averaged until the very recent past.

Actually stop the driving forces behind systemic mistrust, conspiracy rabbit holes, and succeptibility to misinformation.

And do anything possible to slow tropical deforestation and invest in antibiotic research as fast and effectively as possible. We're already far behind the enemy because it hasn't been profitable to research antibiotics in the eyes of the pharmaceutical companies. With the climate and ecosystem shifts, we're going to have a wild ride with both insect bugs and bacteria bugs, I'm sure.

76. What’s the most romantic thing you ever have done for someone?

Oh man, I can't answer this one, I'm sorry. It's not that I wouldn't like to, I just don't know if I've ever tried to do something truly romantic, because I'm still not sure I understand what romantic most accurately means, so I'll have to get back to you on this one.

95. What’s something you really want to do some day with your/a partner?

I never thought about this until you asked it just now. I guess...maybe...............go overseas and explore some part of another country? My brain keeps giving me blanks, I don't know if it knows how to think about this yet. I'll keep working on it. But it does sound fun to go with a partner on a sort of few-places trip of random interest events or something.

97. Worst catchy song you ever heard?

"Blurred Lines".

99. Does it matter to you there is no 100th question in here?

Hahahaha! It does kind of bug me, not gonna lie, but I chose to embrace it as a rounder, artistic, more organic experience of the concept of an "ask game 100 questions list", like an art exhibit

Thank you for the questions!! Hope you're doing well! <3

#katie answers asks #younganonymus #ask games

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destinyc1020 · 1 year

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I'm sorry but JE is the same guy that said this,

“Someone said that every human being is capable of murder, and I like to think of that a lot when I’m acting. It’s always there, it’s in your bones, it’s just figuring out how to get to it.”

so I'm glad z got away from him the moment covid hit and they were put in different continents! I mean, look at her now! I've never in my life seen Z look so happy and content. EVER. And she's said it herself, Tom is THE ONE who makes her THE HAPPIEST. And this makes me so happy for her, cause from what we know she got cheated on during her first relationship, and her relationship with JE was just off from the start. I think she wanted to believe she loved him, but in her heart she knew she still loved Tom. So much so that they're over 2 years into 2.0 and happier than ever. JE didn't give a shit about Z. Idk how much clearer that could've been. Now she has someone who loves her utterly and completely. Who literally worships her and treats her like a queen. And even from the tiny parts of their lives we've seen, he's so so protective over her. You can tell he loves her more than anything. He's loyal, he's gentle, he's mystified by this woman as she is with him. And most importantly he respects her so much.

now the "fan" who loves TomDaya but thinks Z n JE look better together, maybe you can take another look at the craigslist Billy goat on LSD and cheat on every partner serum and change your mind 😌

I'm sorry but JE is the same guy that said this,

“Someone said that every human being is capable of murder, and I like to think of that a lot when I’m acting. It’s always there, it’s in your bones, it’s just figuring out how to get to it.”

Oh GOSH.... Don't remind me...

I remember that interview. What a WEIRDO!!!! 🥴 That is the strangest thing I've ever heard an actor say about their work. Can you just imagine what types of conversations Z and JE must have been having? My gosh lol. No wonder she never wanted to actually "pick up the phone" with him during long-distance and just sent him memes ROTFL. 🤣 Dude was probably boring and crazy-sounding over the phone lol. Who talks like that??? 🤣 That's so scary... I'd be afraid to sleep with him at night. Are you gonna murder me?? 😱👀

so I'm glad z got away from him the moment covid hit and they were put in different continents! I mean, look at her now! I've never in my life seen Z look so happy and content. EVER. And she's said it herself, Tom is THE ONE who makes her THE HAPPIEST. And this makes me so happy for her, cause from what we know she got cheated on during her first relationship, and her relationship with JE was just off from the start. I think she wanted to believe she loved him, but in her heart she knew she still loved Tom. So much so that they're over 2 years into 2.0 and happier than ever.

THANK YOU!!! 👏🏾 💯👏🏾 💯

JE didn't give a shit about Z. Idk how much clearer that could've been.

EXACTLY!!! Honestly, this was one of the biggest reasons why I didn't like them together! I NEVER got the impression that JE was "in love" with Z. Nope....not ever. I don't even know if he's even capable of REALLY loving a woman tbh lol. 😅🤣 He looked so BORED when he was with Z most of the time. He would look moody asl lol, and not only that, but he would be more engrossed in his phone than paying any attention to her while they were out. It was just a huge turn OFF. I kept wondering: "Zendaya....seriously?? You went from TOM HOLLAND to THIS dude who doesn't even seem like he's all that into you?? Seriously girl????"🥴

Like, I know it's hard and you're rebounding and stuff, but c'mon...If you're gonna rebound, at least get yourself an UPGRADE from your ex lol. 😅

JE was a DOWNgrade on SO many levels, and I'm not even just talking financially-speaking lol. 😅

Now she has someone who loves her utterly and completely. Who literally worships her and treats her like a queen. And even from the tiny parts of their lives we've seen, he's so so protective over her. You can tell he loves her more than anything. He's loyal, he's gentle, he's mystified by this woman as she is with him. And most importantly he respects her so much.

EXACTLY girl.... Exactly. 👏🏾👏🏾 Tom treats Z like a queen.

Why settle for anything less?? AT the very least, get yourself a guy who actually LIKES you.... (maybe even a little bit more than you like him tbh lol. 👀).

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creature-featurez · 2 months

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I SAW UR REBLOG i wanna know like. how does the immortal/mortal thing manifest or do they just not think Ab it...

HELLO!! sorry this is late again..

I'd say for the most part they try not to think about it. For a bit of canon context, at one point Simon is eaten by Golb (pre-betty fusing with him) and that's how he becomes freed from the crown's curse, as whatever is eaten by Golb is then slowly digested via being reverted through time until they no longer exist. So Simon is reverted to just before putting on the crown. In my AU, this fact, on top of him being a previous magic-user and having traces of magic still clung onto him, makes Simon age a bit slower than most humans. While he thinks he's in his late 50's he actually "physically" only in his mid to late 40's, and even then the magic is keeping him relatively younger, as well. However, his age does eventually catch up with him, and while Reader, Simon, and Betty try not to think about it, it does become apparent at some point that he is going to die. Betty and Reader will outlive him at some point, and continue living forever after that. (Note: Reader can be killed still, just can't die of old age/has a buffed immune system. Betty is basically a god though and can't really die unless she chooses to.)

Obviously this is very hard on all of them, but another factor is that Simon is kind of insecure about being so much older than his partners. Both Reader and Betty are perpetually stuck at the ages they were both "cursed", so their mid and late 30's respectively, while Simon keeps aging. He feels like an old man, and like they deserve someone younger and not as old and weary. Of course this is ridiculous and his partners love him, but anxiety will be anxiety.

Reader and Betty are pretty fine with being immortal outside of losing Simon. It's weird, but they've been through weirder, and Reader at least has had 200 years to process it.

#i didnt proofread this sorry #i cannot focus rn #creature reader #TY FOR THE ASK !!!#ask #asks

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legionofpotatoes · 3 months

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Hi Legion! Long time lurker and lover of your art and tags here. I always read your tags and I'm really interested in your thoughts & views on love and relationships, so I'm curious to know where you got those ideas from. Are there any videos, terms, or books you could recommend? It really resonated with me and since I'm a huge nerd my first instinct is to find more sources haha. Thank you so much!

This ask genuinely made me sit with myself and think long and hard about how my views on that stuff really formed, something I maybe took for granted a lil bit. So thanks, and I'm sorry that I can't give a nerdy answer here! It is difficult to point to specific sources, it's more of a lived-experience type thing. It truly is The Question Of All Time lmao. And boy did it get me thinking back.

I'll put my ramble under the cut if this is not interesting or what you're after, but I enjoyed the introspection still! Thank you!

My context is entirely unremarkable (middle class cishet white guy from eastern europe), but if I had to point to one thing that is the bottleneck of my views on love and relationships, I genuinely think it could be traced to my insane early childhood nat20 roll to avoid toxic masculinity pipelines. I truly believe in my bones that if I had been seduced by that stuff - and legitimately all but maybe two of my childhood friends were - I'd be a completely different, colder, worse person today. I credit only luck in that.

Where I'm from, boys of my generation were set on a very specific path very early on that was pointed veeeery far away from "love". All wrapped up in warped orthodox christianity and crypto-nationalist sentiments, stemming from our incredibly disillusioned post-soviet parent figures constantly running in survival mode. So like, I legitimately don't remember how I managed to avoid those circles and behavior patterns, and the truth is that I probably sometimes didn't? I certainly made stupid mistakes in my early teens, but I had the luxury of making them outside of the public eye of social media. More luck.

There's other alchemy of course - as a child of divorce I got a real early up-close look at the ugly results of mistrust and toxic "love", and a lot of my life back then was rebelling against that. Not that the parenting itself was always bad - my mother turned me to the arts and to stories, which eventually led me to fandom that I can now identify as a much healthier outlet for my frustrations than whatever my peers were doing with their nighttime brawls. It led me to a very crystallized idea of what I really wanted from life - not glory or patriotism or ambition, but a quiet life with the ones I loved.

That is also around the time when I let go of teenage lust as my north star and started fostering friendships instead; because like, relationships are bonds and connections, nothing more or less. Sexuality and romantic love can take as big or as small of a role in that as the parties desire, and they're entirely ornamental to the value of linking your experience with another living, breathing human. Realizing the divinity and beauty in that changes almost everything in an instant. And it is such a goofy-ass thing to say, but yeah, for a lost idiot dude like me, fandom helped me see that. Even the raunchiest fics were ultimately about belonging and emotional nakedness, and I learned to desire that more than anything else. I am trying so hard to point to something specific here, but I honestly don't know with way back then. Bioware's found family-ass games/fanfics were a big one later on, but there were so many other communities before. My memory's just bad.

But knowing I wanted love was one thing, and being a healthier, more empathetic person ready to actually get that was a whole other trek. Made a few more dumb interpersonal mistakes. And then I met my current partner, now over twelve years ago, and realized there was a version of me reflected in her eyes that I could truly chase and grow into. This all sounds super melodramatic but it was more of a terrifying thought at the time, stoking self-doubt and real worry that I was leading her into a mistake. But of course that was all a symptom of terminal self-awareness. We were in our early 20s, mature enough not to play childish emotional games, and young enough to go on that growth journey together. More luck. Found that gentle peace I had yearned for with her., and I count my lucky stars to this day.

In short, everything about my understanding of love and relationships is rooted in personal circumstance + massive amounts of luck, and especially that early course-correction away from toxic dudeness. Nothing extracurricular. And then just more and more luck piled on with time, culminating with my lovely bean. So in that sense I'm the worst person to ask this question! And times have really changed irt internet culture and fandom so I can't even point at that part as an action point either.

But if nothing else, I believe that storytelling is the ultimate shortcut in getting our dumb teenage brains over the precipice of pride and control, and towards the gentle pursuit of love in all its forms. I think that's worth articulating over and over again. Thanks for reading this long and I promise I usually interpret asks like a normal person! This is an exception!!! a big question if there ever was one

#appeltaart27 #asks #I'm so sorry I cant condense my thoughts better lmao THIS IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

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magicalgirlagency · 5 months

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if you ever watch the httyd franchise, what are your thoughts on the third film. To be hoinest, that third film was awful because they lose their dragons at the end. Now i knows they was being accurate with the books , but i wish they have kept their dragons instead of the dragons having to go into hiding. With Amphibia, the worlds not being connected work because the show theme was about growth and change whereas in the owl house luz get to stay in both the human and the magic world cause it.

To be honest, I haven't watched anything Dragons-related past the first movie, and I most likely never ever will, now that you've just told me how the saga ends.

Last time I saw anything Dragons-related, it was back when people criticized Light Fury's design for sexual dimorphism, though personally I didn't see anything off with her design; she's just Night Fury but recolored and still looks/behaves like a cat.

Plus, we all know that Sisu (from Raya and the Last Dragon) has the worst design for a dragon ever. Y'all were so unfairly mean to Light Fury.

Anyways, back to the actual ask, I strongly hate these types of endings where the MC is permanently separated from the magical and the fantastic, because as an adult, I am so tired of seeing the kids and the teenagers have all of the fun of going on a mystic quest while the adults are often sidelined.

And also because I grew up with Digimon Adventure, which it's precisely why I hated Amphibia's ending, because if the Digidestined were allowed to reunite with their partners on multiple occasions even after their childhood years, then Anne should at least be allowed to catch up with the Plantar Family, Sasha with Capt. Grime, and Marcy with Olivia and Yunnan.

These types of endings, in my opinion, kinda feel like it's telling me that magic and whimsy are things exclusively for children, and that adults aren't allowed to have fun with it and/or contribute to change with their amazing gifts.

The Owl House pretty much subverts this, in how Luz has never left the Boiling Isles and has even sacrificed her quinceañera to help its inhabitants to rebuild their home. The magic itself and Luz's charismatic weirdness never were the problem; all that she needed was to realize her responsibilities and adapt to bend the rules. Not to mention how the ending was equally satisfying, but open enough for fans to continue it as they so desire (because Disney sure as hell won't do it!)

Resuming, do you have any idea of how many adults would sacrifice their boring lives on Earth for the sake of thrills and excitement somewhere else? As long as I had ways to return back here (because I love my family and friends too much), I'd totally start a new life in another world and study its magic system and culture there!

If there are any otherworldly beings looking for a new member for their guild/party/family, hit me up accordingly so I can start packing my bags! I'm cute and eager to learn!

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breitzbachbea · 1 year

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Your turn! 3, 10 and 23 🤗

YES, another excuse to gush about the kids! Thank you! <3

OC Ask Game

Because I have roughly 240 OCs for my Human/Organized Crime AU - Yes, that is not an exaggeration, I recently counted them again. To be fair, this includes anyone I ever gave a name to, but even if they're an insignificant backstory character, they are a character nonetheless.

But because I have so many, I'll choose one for each answer!

3. is your character an indoor or outdoor person?

Leo Reiter is a very outdoorsy person! They're Lilli Zwingli's right hand and the only one in Team Liechtenstein who's actually a Liechtensteiner. As a child, they loved to play around with others in the nature around the town and go on hiking trips with their parents and dog(s). During their 20s and early 30s, they had less and less time for it. Both because of the pressures to excel at their job (they worked in finance before Lilli's big brother offered them a job) and because the dysphoria and depression was growing more and more over the years. They only went hiking for business team building and didn't enjoy it much. However, after they quit their job and started to work on their gender presentation, they found their way back to it. These days Leo enjoys any kind of outdoor activity, whether it's alone, with family and friends or business partners, again! Nothing like a good day hiking in the Alps!

(The depression, along with a ton of other baggage, was also caused by the fact that Leo tried everything, including sexual favours, to get ahead in their company. It wasn't a very fulfilling life, only living for others and always playing along - which then lead to them isolating themselves and building giant walls around them, once they left finance. Lego, the ship of Leo and Hugo, is ... god, is it a mess.)

And here's a picture of Team Liechtenstein! From left to right we have Leo, Hugo and Lilli! The artist is @c0ffinated - Hugo is their OC!

And here's one featuring Josef, the dog of Leo's parents

10. what kind of music do they enjoy?

Charlie Higgins loves Classic and Hard Rock! He's the right hand and best friend, basically brother from another mother, to Harry O'Connel. (Harry is my Ireland which I made when I was 14. That's why he has an English name ... in the hetaverse, he's called Liam now, but old habits die hard, so it's Harry everywhere else).

To be fair, he enjoys most types of Rock and even dips his toes into the transition zone between Rock and Heavy Metal. Thin Lizzy, AC/DC, Queen, KISS - He loves those bands. At the same time, he's also into pop & a big fan of Mika. I honestly can't wait to diegetically integrate two Mika songs into my rewrites of Irish Problems and Italian Affairs, the two fics I've written for the main story arch of my AU so far.

In Irish Problems, which I am currently rewriting, I love the thought that once Harry has come to terms that he's probably bisexual and interested in Michele (my Sicily OC and the man they're trying to broker a deal with), Charlie breaks out 'Lollipop' to hype Harry up for the business dinner and encourage him in his identity while also downplaying the concern that his rose coloured glasses would endanger the deal. "Jesus loves her - She wants mooore! Oh, bad girls get you down - Sing it! Sucking too hard on your lollipop, oh love's gonna get you down ..."

In Italian Affairs, I'd love to slip "Grace Kelly" in, because there's a HUGE Charco subplot. Charco is the ship of Charlie and Marco Bontade, one of Michele's right hand. Love the idea of Charlie singing it while getting ready for dinner in the bathroom of his hotel suite. The entire song encapsulates the subplot so perfectly ... Charlie's fear of being too much, being unprofessional and at the same time insecure that he'll never be enough for Marco. At the same, Marco's subconsciously held back by his twin brother Lorenzo, because falling out of sync is scary to both of them ... so the fact that Lorenzo doesn't like Charlie makes Marco think he mustn't either ...

"How can I help it, how can I help it? How can I help what you think? Hello my baby, hello my baby, putting my life on the brink. Why don't you like me, why don't you like me, why don't you like yourself?"

So in short, I think Charlie enjoys anything with a flair of drama, no matter how butch or glam, and a sweet guitar riff makes everything better! As long as he can move his body and sing along, he's happy with it.

I think it's illegal to post that one picture Jonah did of him YET again to tumblr, but you can see it in all its glory here.

Have these two done by @pyromaniacqueen too!

(Marco is on the left on the next one, Charlie on the right)

23. what are your OC’s biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

Tahir Rashid's theme song should be "Oh No!" by Marina. He's Arthur Kirkland's right hand and a certified lawyer who went through law school with flying colours. (We don't talk about the subsequent burnout and breakdown that made him end up in the mob ...)

Tahir's biggest strengths are that he's tirelessly dedicated to his work and damn good at it. The best is only just good enough, he's got a strong work ethic and keeps not only his own life in order, but keeps an eye on everyone else as well. He's incredibly intelligent, very eloquent and can be a charmer as well. He loves his family & especially his little sister more than anything else - to ensure a better life for his loved ones was the main reason he became a lawyer. He's often also the voice of reason to Arthur and Robert's hotheads. (Robert is the other right hand). He usually opts for a diplomatic solution to avoid confrontation, pulling strings behind the scene.

However, the spite that fuels his work ethic also is one of his biggest flaws. He's just as proud as the other two, wears his head pretty high and is easily annoyed by others. He's snarky and voices his disdain for others freely. He likes to hold grudges. Though very disciplined, he can't say no and pushes himself beyond the boundaries of his body to ensure that work gets done (which can be a flaw as well as strength). And his discipline also makes it incredibly hard for him to express emotions, putting a strain on relationships he actually cares about and on his own emotional & mental well-being. (I have never seen three so emotionally stunted men like Team England, I swear to God). His sensibility also turns into cowardice at times and when it comes to physical confrontations, he has to hide behind Robert & Arthur. As much of a deadly weapon he is behind a desk with a law book, as useless is he at an actual fist fight.

Here's a lovely Team England picture by @captkirkland, with Arthur on the right, Tahir in the middle and Robert on the left

And another two contributions by Jonah, first chibi Team England and a wonderful Railey one (Railey is Tahir/Robert as ship)

#beareplies #rosesandalfazemas #storie nostre #leo #hugo #lilli #charlie #tahir #robert #arthur #thank you SOOOOO much for asking!#i hope the answers are somewhat satisfiable ... wrote them with a huge headache in the ass of the night but tomorrow I am going on vacay #so I had to get them out before that.

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dopepoisonivyoncrack · 1 year

Text

This may come out a bit rushed cuz m getting it out of my system in one go at midnight Yes, I know drafts exist but I like to live dangerously ANYWAY.

There is so much to unpack about that scene where Dr. Robotnik says to Stone to pin himself to the wall and proceeds to say a lot of mean things.

1. Stone doesn't just approach the wall like he's about to measure his height, no, he grabs himself and pins himself to the wall hard. Respecting Robotnik's words to a T. It seemed like this is not the first time, but something they do. Its a thing. ...another one of their things. Like the casual training-like hit instead of a hi5 at the bar ("You let urself exposed"), asking Stone to translate in simple terms what he said, bringing the latte...

2. The context. Robotnik was angry and frustrated because another one of his attacks had just failed, loosing precious robots too. And what does Stone do? His only and closest human being, his trusted partner in crime? Blurs out a praise of his enemy. "They're real survivors". This puts salt on the wound, and stabs on top of it, because HE is supposed to be the survivor, the one on top, the one who overcomed everything and should overcome anything that comes. I'd go even further to say it was another crime added to Sonic's list to steal a moments fraction of Stone's admiration, that should be focused on HIM only. Like, how dare he be impressed??

3. So, Robotnik reacts as he usually does, redirects his frustration and unloads it on the closest person as a mean, hateful, condescending rant. It was his repeated hate speeach too, unrelated to the actual incident. With how he hates humans and he won't miss Stone etc etc. (We all know he'd miss him..he actually did, and admited).

4. Stone just stands there like, again, this is a thing they do. He didn't even seem hurt by his words, probably because he knows Robotnik isn't mad at him, its just how he steams off. (And looking at Robotnik he probably steams off as often as Stone's steams his austrian goat milk)

5. The leaning in so close Stone could feel Robotnik's breath on his face, kabedon style, might help too. Not sure but I think Robotnik became aware of the closeness only towards the end. The moment being interrupted (or saved) by noticing the glow of Sonic's needle in Stone's chest pocket.

6. Unhealthy coping mechanism performed, frustration and anger lvls back too normal, quite intimate human interaction checked, new focus target unlocked.... Robotnik has been reborn in less than 5 minutes. They can go on about the day like usual, no hard feelings. Time for Robornik to work and Stone to go make themselves some latte.

Even when Stone brings his latte, the speech pattern is quite aggressive "Do I look like an imbecile? Of course I want a latte, I LOVE THE WAY YOU MAKE THEM".

I think Stone does know Robotnik good enough and read his nuances. Might be the only one who does.

It might seem like Stone's is ok to be a punching bag because he is also loved, in an evil way... but it doesn't feel true, and I can't pinpoint why. I swear there is more to Stone than meets the eye.

#midnight ramblings #ivy shitposts #at least these are my thoughts at 1st sight

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margridarnauds · 1 year

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Audrey/Seymour, Hyde/Lucy, Hyde/Emma

Ship It: Audrey/Seymour

What made you ship it?

...I will admit I have never actually watched this musical in full, but "Suddenly Seymour." Especially when performed live by Hugh Panaro. Rawr.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Get you a man who will feed your abusive boyfriend to a plant which he named out of love for you.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

...I literally have no idea what the unpopular and popular opinions on this ship are and I choose to keep it that way. I think that, looking at the tag at just a glance, it's actually that rare case with one of my ships where the fandom just...hyper-sanitizes it? Like, I love them as a comfort ship where they help one another and support one another, but I also do very much like that....he does feed people to the plant? He couldn't kill Orin, but he did watch as he died. He did get rid of Mushnik. And, while we can go back and forth on whether they deserved it...that is a thing he does do, and he was willing to let more people die if it meant that Audrey would still love him. I'm not looking at hyper grimdark takes, but I'm interested in like....approaches that go with that level of..."The things we do for love."

Ship It: Lucy/Hyde

What made you ship it?

It was very much....not necessarily Baby's First Darkship, because I've been shipping heroes/villains since I literally had a conception of romance as something Not Icky. I loved my femme fatales and ice queens and brooding bad boys and gothic heroes -- I always have and, unless something very dramatic happens, I very likely always will. (One of my first ships probably WAS Imhotep/Ankh-Su-Namun.) But if it wasn't Baby's First Dark Ship, it was Baby's First Musical Theatre Dark Ship. Like, I'd dipped into E/C, but I was kind of caught up in the sort of....purity culture around it? So I gave it up for a while. And J and H was the second musical, after POTO and Cats, that I REALLY got into, so it was kind of natural. (And HILARIOUS, given that Hyde is....pretty objectively a worse human being than Erik in every conceivable way -- He's definitely worse as a romantic partner. I really went from the frying pan to the flaming dumpster fire and never looked back.)

But, like. At the time, I was a very, very religious pre-teen/teenager, who was very strongly indoctrinated by purity culture. Like, to put this into perspective: I only allowed myself to listen to "Point of No Return" from POTO once a day because I thought it was a Bad Song (that I was nonetheless intrigued by) and somehow, only listening to it once a day, with the knowledge that it was a Bad Song, would somehow make it okay with Baby Jesus. (Yes...my twelve year old self was...a little strange in the logic department.) And so Dangerous Game was really.....it was sex, in a way that I really didn't allow myself to interact with sex. And it was a little scary and...intimidating and guilt-ridden, but I was also very interested in this push and pull. Lucy was this female character that I was really invested in, she had this very tragic ending that I rejected even at 12, and so I was really drawn to her and her dynamic with Hyde -- some of the first musical theatre fanfic I ever looked at was probably for those two and Chauvelin/Marguerite.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I love (anti)heroine/villain ships where the heroine/villain are in a relationship that works as a dark parallel to another "purer" ship. It's similar with Morléans Marie Antoinette where it's like....Lucy isn't Emma, Hyde isn't Henry, and they're both these kind of cast-offs of society. Hyde is the part of Henry that he rejects, while Simon Stride/the Spider makes it very clear that Lucy will never be a lady like Emma, and so there's this...symmetry between the two of them.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't really go here as an active fandom -- I don't really know what the fandom opinions are on them. Like, so much discussion of J and H is about how bad it is and...like, it is and it isn't and I need to be at a certain level of trust with someone before I'm willing to talk about what I do and don't like about it, and every time I go on I see all these webcomics and crossovers I don't fully understand and don't particularly *want* to understand, so like...I'm here, but I'm not.

I guess...in my ideal J and H, it would really emphasize that Hyde himself has some of Henry just like Henry has some of Hyde -- Some of those things that Hyde does that Henry wouldn't do are horrible, but I also wouldn't mind seeing him, say, beat the shit out of the Spider. (Though he does kill Simon at the wedding reception so #GaslightGatekeepGirlboss?) Like, he's canonically possessive of her, so I'd like to see that possessiveness cross over into protectiveness. I'd like to see more of that push and pull, establishing this sense of...a certain level of equality even if he still has more power over her. It's still inherently unhealthy, because it wouldn't be *them* if it wasn't, but just...fleshing out what's already there. And, in my ideal version of things, she does survive him stabbing her (I HAVE NOT ACCEPTED HER DEATH SINCE 2010, I'M NOT GOING TO START NOW), and so she has to come to terms with everything post-canon. Like, the man's dead, and that's good, but also that she *did* love him, so there's also this sense of regret.

I can see, going into the tag, that there's been a bit of backlash against the ship -- Frankly, I don't care. I get why it can be offputting to people, I'm not blaming people for wanting Lucy to live a perfectly happy, fluffy life and to run away with Jekyll or Emma or any combination, but also it's kind of...there. It's one of those ships where I'm here like "don't blame me for being invested in the dark, toxic, but sexy relationship that is framed as being dark, toxic, but sexy." (Honestly, there wouldn't be anything morally wrong with shipping it either way, but in this particular case...it's in the canon. And, frankly, again, what do people expect from a gothic musical? Well-adjusted people?) I'll say that most takes seem to, as usually when it comes to my dark ships, go either too fluffy for them or too grimdark, when my personal favorite medium is "fucked up tenderness/angst/bittersweet endings."

Ship It: Emma/Hyde

What made you ship it?

I literally never considered it until you just suggested it, but I am now interested.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I was talking about Lucy/Edward as that sort of gothic ship that is based on obsession and lust that borders just on the razor edge of hatred and love, but also...Emma/Edward are the gothic ship that is...the heroine in the haunted house (her house), married to a monster. It's a mixture of Beauty and the Beast, the gothic genre, and some of my favorite folkloric motifs around monstrous husbands. (I'm thinking of a mix up of Bluebeard, The Vampire/Corpse Eater [though that one and I have a...complicated relationship], and East of the Sun, West of the Moon.) He's Henry, but he Isn't, there are these traces of the man that Emma loved, and she wants him back, but there is also this darkness that is also compelling. Emma's never fit into Victorian society, anyway -- She isn't "seventeen, obedient, and sweet". That was part of the appeal of Henry, why she didn't marry Simon. She wouldn't go for Hyde's brutality, no, but I also think...she might, depending on the Emma, be willing to consider Hyde more than we might think. She's coming in with this strong sense of self and this strong sense of confidence that might or might not be enticing to Hyde.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

...if this is widely shipped in any way, I would be greatly surprised, especially given how vocal people can be about Lucy/Hyde.

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katoska · 2 years

Text

Ok. So I guess The Winchesters is supposed to be the original, organic, Good Timeline ("the True story of how John and Mary fell in love") while all of SPN happens in a split-off, artificial, way grittier Bad Timeline that lead to what Dean sees in 4x03 In The Beginning and which was very likely created by Chuck through time-travel and/or mind-wipes and a Cupid (can they time-travel and mind-wipe? If not, Seraph partnered with Cupid. Actually, just to do that anyway for the lulz) because the first timeline had an upper limit on how much John could possibly mess up his sons if he never had to wonder what creature had killed his wife or work hard to find any info on monsters.

TW!John made hunter buddies and apparently knew about his dad and the Men of Letters. TW!Mary would have told John about the demon deal with Azazel because why wouldn't she? They could have researched the enemy together and gained a fighting chance before those ten years were up . At least one of them could have marked their calendar to not fucking forget the date, too. And even if Mary still died - or John did - neither one would go paranoid over it because hunters being killed by demons is just what happens. That blood ritual and fire otoh? That's weird shit, but at least if you are a hunter/MOL you know where to start your research. You know people who can help you and how to check they aren't demons or shifters or ghouls.

TW!John and Mary got to meet in a totally different genre of show than the one SPN is generally set in. I mean, look at it! It's a peppy teenage RomCom with some mystery and horror elements so the (in-universe) audience can pretend they are in it for those rather than the relationships dynamics... which look rather wholesome, at least going by the trailer. Everyone seems supportive and honest with one another. Even the violence looks cartoonish what with the yeeted demon and the holy water pistol. Nothing gritty or bloody. The special effects look outdated and cheap, but in a deliberate Ghostfacers Effect kinda way because the story takes place in 1972. The orange-ness of everything always feels like an in-joke about the lighting analysts in fandom.

Anyway, I expect the tragedy of this timeline to be that John and Mary didn't get to be the versions of themselves that they first fell in non-Cupid-induced love with, and instead were forced to become the versions of themselves that would later produce Sam and Dean('s childhood trauma).

And if I wanted to go for a real gut-punch, I'd make Castiel that angel who had orders to mess with John and Mary's timeline. Orders that he'd only understand the impact of... well, in several stages throughout the show, though most accutely in S4 (especially E03).

It would explain why Cas became so protective of Dean and fought for him even though he... should have felt zero obligation to do that, and definitely not so early on, if there was no specific reason for it (no, "gay" is not a valid reason for a heel-face-turn of this size). Cause usually that only happens with people he had harmed or thought he had failed in some way (Jimmy, Claire, Sam, Dean, Meg, post-fall angels, post-Leviathan humanity, Kelly, Jack.... Not Crowley though lol). It would also explain why he never seems angry about the brothers' childhood anecdotes, only sad. I'd be diplomatic and stick with "your father was a complicated man", too, if I felt partly responsible for 'complicating' him and inadvertently made my friends' - and especially Dean's - lives way worse.

Though don't ask me who the hell is supposed to play Cas' vessel. How about Misha playing Cas walking around in Jimmy Novak's dad and wearing the worst possible 70s outfit?

#spn #the winchesters #spn prequel #I don't think it's gonna be anywhere as bad or generic as people expect #I have faith #(oh fuck oh shit get it OFF me! I thought I'd lost the last of my faith in this franchise a long time ago. Where did this even COME FROM?)#Cas-baiting #that's where #Jensen don't break my heart #give me 70s fashion disaster Cas

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